#matches my whole blog vibe even xD!

[owlyflufff]

“I can’t help falling in love with you”

a soft and sweet bokuaka commission made by the lovely kejiyaa21 

[ostrobothnianoccultist]

OKAY THE THIRD ONE OF ANECDOTE NIGHT! I went all in and got bad stock photos for this one. It’s gonna be a longish one because the whole situation was.. absurd. It’s all funny and stupid nothing bad dw :]

I’ll put it under read more so I don’t flashbang ya’lls dash with a long post!

So. Okay gather around children and let me tell you a story that sometimes comes back to haunt me and makes me cringe inwards like a sponge left to dry on a sunny day

It was late spring the year I was fifteen years old. Me and my best friend were hanging out at my house, bored out of our minds. We’d blogged on myspace already too much and crash bandicoot 3: warped started to grow boring after having played it for too long. So we decided, let’s do something fun.

And being fifteen, we were going trough the infamous ”Rawr O-o XD so RaNdOm lul ^_^” phase that every teenager goes. (You did too you filthy liar.)

So we decided on doing something random that we tought would be really funny. We got two of my mom’s colorful ikea flower vases (pictured below)

And stole my brother’s pepsi max from the fridge. Packed them in a backbag. Then decided to add a metronome I had lying around from earlier. I was practising for my flute matineé as I had to get a good grade on it to qualify to the school orchestra. You know, like all the cool kids. To those not in the realm of music, a metronome is a little machine that ticks on a certain tempo you set it to, to keep you on pace when playing. Example picture below.

Throw that in the backbag too and head out. My house was near this nature path-park-thingy that has statues on it. Fairly popular place for nice afternoon outings for those old couples with matching windbreaker jackets. We found our way to the nature path and set up camp. Set the metronome on the ground ticking, filled up the vases with the stolen pepsi and toasted the drinks. We pretented to greet bypassers like we were in a party, only noice being the goddamn metronome ticking on the ground. All this for the sake of being ”random”. All people walking by looked us weird (because we were being very weird and annoying) and we tought it was absolutely hilarious.

So after a moment this old gentleman approaches us, intrigued. He looked a little peculiar and had a certain oddity vibe to him. A stock photo of a man with his likeness attached below

Well something looking like that anyway.

So he apporaches us and asks, is this a contemporary art installation? Me and my best friend glance each other. What? Is it a whatingy what now? Goes trough our heads. But some GODFORSAKEN REASON we decide it’s a good thing to tell him that YEAH THIS IS EXACTLY THAT. We did not even know what it meant but decided to go with it.

So he starts praising us on the novelty and modernity of it, and giving us constructive critisism. He goes on about some artist who have done something similar and how our constellation differs and what he thinks of the meanings. Me and my best friend just kinda freeze in place and try to look like we know exactly what he’s talking about and we definitely are not just two morons with one shared braincell and too much time on our hands.

So turns out this bearded gentleman was the art professor of our town’s highschool ( we were still in junior high so we didn’t know) He had like, a bajillion degrees in art. How did we find out, you ask?

Well. We did post photos of this whole ordeal on facebook, and our older friend informed us this professor was using our ”installation” as an example on a course she was attending. Like describing it as art. We blackmailed said friend with very heavy implications of stuffing her in a box and mailing it to jamaica if she ever told A SOUL that she saw our photos and knew the story behind this bizarre installation the professor kept referring to. And we kept hearing rumours even years after that this installation was still a reference talked about on an art class. I never dared to check if the rumors were true.

And that concludes of the story on how I became a contemporary artist at the ripe age of fifteen accidentally

[voyeuristicvixen]

Captns Log No. 36_ChaChange$

Our first house party... SHIT WAS LIT. If you been followin my blog since the beginning then you remember when we first moved to Fakrava Island, we have moved into three homes during our time here, from tiki hut to private island to this big ass custom house. We really thoroughly enjoyed our time here, this is where we raised our tigers, and Yemi during her first months. It was super special that on our very last week here we were able to celebrate all the lil milestones with the biggest one we had in our list. 

I also got to share my love for music w the people and return to some of my personal SL roots. Being apart of the commune that was always my role there. I was known as the commune DJ and I was known for throwing wild themed parties like my favorite one which was a Andy Warhol theme based on the art scene he created in New York in the 80s. IYKYK. This time it was different because I was able to share a whole other side of genre of music and aesthetic w my people that connects to another side of me. That was dope. I am a hippie rocker alt chick at heart but I also am an African hip hop head too. LOL.

I didnt get much photos but Wav got all the good ones here the album link: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.104507015518461&type=3 The spread was doin its thing! We had all the tings, Mystory enbled food platters from Lucas L, Mura, we had the Junk Food Jello Shots the Tredente Punch, we had Hennessy straight from the best market Del Mar they always hook it up!! Like. We had the wineees and ofc I provided CBD waters from  starseedsbotanica and was givin out free exclusive candles and soaps. We really went in! Oh ! there was also a tray of all kinds of fancy party favors we had brownies, shrooms, joints .... lmao everything. And surprisingly had some left over, the drugs was prolly the first thing to go tbh ahahaha!

We didnt have any tip jar out or anything like that because it was just about the energy. I really wanted ppl to feel something new and different from this party, which is actually an old school SL vibe and tradition of being which is, sharing with others. What good is all these fancy homes and cute foods and clothes and objects if we arent using them to have fun, socialize and connect with others! Thats what the Linden bears are all about. The magick in giving something you made to someone else. Sharing your hard work and creations with your friends and strangers who you want to connect with.

I am def going to miss our room, Its literally when you finally get everything decorated the way you like that something happens where you got to leave lmao. I feel like ive even written about this before in past blogs because we have had rude awakenings in the past with our living situation. Lil Yemi is about to be one and shes moved so many times already! XD

Afro Nation fest was wild, I wont write much about this because it was a bittersweet thing for Wav and I. The sim was packed instantly hundred ppl there.

Asake performance was wild, we changed 3 times! We put on a real SHOW! I was basically IT girl dancer because the other three coordinated without me, even though I sent all the info of the outfits I put together to match his outfits in the discord. Outfits that were free/ affordable to get and fire! It was hilarious when I see them pull up in one fit they wore the entire show that didnt match anything on stage. LMFAO. They tried to leave me out but it did not work. I had all my routine set because I actually went to rehearsal lmao. I wont say anything else besides WAV AND I KILLED IT. He was also the only artist who had three changes during the show. We didnt get paid, thanks for any of our work.. for showing up to every rehearsal despite our RL shit we had going on, for rearranging our schedule to accommodate and perform. But we did it for the culture not for money intially... until we realized that none of the people were actually kind to us, talked to us or treated us like apart of the team. Sad.

DRAKE?!

So I made a line of intention based spell bound candles, completely original each one is hand poured and infused with crystals and magick. They are only found at my botanica on TheBlvd : http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Meroe%20Blvd/62/175/33

Theres one that helps you connect with your ancestors, spice up your life with love and adventure, theres one for intimacy in the bedroom, theres one for money of course! I made one specially for men and one for self empowerment too! Each one is set with intention when you click the candle its completely interactive and gives you stats.

When you rez them out they have a box of matches and little crystal pyramid with them that is to compliment and enhance the intentions in the candle. These candles help you with RL too because the energy of the intention will manifest in all realms of your life. Ase!

I also made palm stones, I chose the most helpful on hand allies I could think of. This all comes from the knowledge and wisdom I use and have gained working in my RL. I used to be a gatekeeper at a modern day botanica for many years. It is actually one of the most popular ones here in LA, visited by many high profile people. I am really exciting about merging this aspect of my RL with my life on the grid, overall it has felt fulfilling to my heart. ;)

I made spell infused soaps as well! Every botanica out there has em and they are for the practical mystics out there! Everything at my botanica is mystory compatible and boosts stats! Mainly happiness, energy and social!

Aw, our last lil pic as we packed up our fakrava home, we moved for a second to a house in Aussie shores and then from there we now live in our true home on the Mystory sim. I call it true home because that is where Meroe is, that is where the Botanica is, our new Secondlife family is found there. We wouldnt have it any other way and we are so grateful and blessed to have it.

[blackknightgargiemoviephile]

How To Train Your Dragon Saga

In the beginning, I was never really interested in watching the movie and never even bothered to watch the trailer, since we thought it was one of those cliche failure movies (and Dreamworks hasn't really had a very good track record of good animated movies at the time), but after being bombarded with tons of Toothcup fanfics and fanarts and after very high recommendations by my friend Jello13 from dA, I finally got down to watching the movie. Boy, was I glad I took my friend's recommendation to watch this movie, and the subsequent sequels after that, because after 3, 4 friggin' times, I still fucking LOVE this movie!!!

Here's my findings of the saga:

Apparently this movie was based on a children's novel written by Cressida Cowell which focuses on the 2nd book in a 10-volume book franchise. There are certain deviations between the real Hiccup and Toothless and the storyline as a whole, but after reading the summary of the original story, I think I like the movie version better. In fact even the writer said so in her blog that she likes the deviation as the movie captured the core essence of her story and it was amazing to see her story to be interpreted this way.

The storyline and the pacing is very good, and the sarcastic humour and slight optimism of Hiccup despite people thinking he's anything BUT a Viking is very intriguing. I love his catchphrases like "I'm way too muscular for their tastes. They wouldn't know what to do with all...this" and "Thank you for summing that up" and his famous line "You just gestured to ALL of me!" is just some of the LOL-worthy lines the talented Jay Baruchel who voices Hiccup does.

I was totally shocked to find out that Gerard Butler plays the role of Stoick, Hiccup's old man! I have never expect him, who is known for his brawniness and action-packed persona, made famous in the movie 300, would actually play a voice-over for a cartoon character. After finding out, spotting his voice and hearing the familiarity was much, much easier.

And of course, the creme de la creme of the entire movie: TOOTHLESS!! He is just so, so, so, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo uber cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute~~~~!!!!! When I read about him in fanfics and caught glimpses of him through fanarts, I was thinking, "Hey, this dragon is quite cute." Now amplify that feeling by a gajillion times more. That's how I feel about Toothless. He started off a little vicious with his snake-like slit for eyes, trying to act strong and tough like the dragon he was, but the moment he let his guard down a little, he got these pair of big doe eyes that is just so MOE and SQUEE-worthy. And of course I finally learn how he got his namesake: with retractable teeth that he can materialize at will

My most favourite scene of the entire movie would be this scene where Toothless finally was at peace with Hiccup and allowed him to touch him. The way Toothless tried to copy his drawing, and then growled whenever Hiccup stepped on his drawing, then Hiccup moved to avoid the lines in tune with the music until finally they were so close they were allowed to touch was just so AWW-worthy. And the music score was perfect too, especially the title of that score: Forbidden Friendship. Isn't that just sweet?

The part where Hiccup and Toothless slowly develop that bond while trying to get Toothless back on his flight feet again was also very interesting as they slowly worked together and forget each other's differences to reach a common goal, while at the same time trying to learn about each other, and Hiccup using that knowledge to good use (the eel and the scratching of the neck part was really epic), making him the life of the team, much to his crush, Astrid's chagrin.

I also love the part where Hiccup tries to convince everyone during the final exam of killing a dragon that dragons are not what they think they are, and tried to pacify the Monstrous Nightmare only to be interrupted by Stoick and having Toothless coming to the rescue (damsel in distress much, Hiccup? XD) and revealed their relationship. It felt really sad and my heart just broke when Hiccup shouted Toothless for him not to kill Stoick and Toothless looked at him with his doe eyes, then Hiccup tries in vain to stop everyone from hurting Toothless, and that argument which led to his disowning, and earning back his role as a son by proving his worth and Toothless' reputation, though a cost of his leg. I was wondering where would be the scene where he looses his leg, since I read that he had a prosthetic in fanfics, but turns out it happened in the near end of the movie, and literally mirrored Toothless' missing left tail fin.

Ending is a bit cliche where he gets the girl, he is lauded as a war hero and gained the respect of everyone including his father, the dragons made peace with humans and all that, but still it was a very heartwarming cliche scene. One that leaves a smile on your face and a sigh of contentment in your heart.

Speaking of Astrid, not really sure it's because of that yaoi in me, but I never really saw Astrid as a suitable pairing for Hiccup. I know, I'm not usually one for bestiality, but seriously, can't you just FEEL the love between Hiccup and Toothless to the point where you can consider them as lovers? Toothcup (Toothless/Hiccup) pairings are in the rage right now since the movie has been uber popularize, and you cannot deny that sort of relationship exist, right?

This one, personally I feel, is almost as par as the first one. Not better, not worse, but more or less par. Hiccup and Astrid are still together, but the Toothcup shipper in me just don't feel like they match somehow. Moreso, suddenly out of the blue, Snotlout and Fishlegs were heads over heels with Ruffnut, which I ABSOLUTELY have NO CHEMISTRY feel whatsoever! Even after I've watched their TV series that led to the second movie, I STILL don't get the vibe or the chemistry between those three people. It's like "Wait, what?" moment.

Although that moment when Ruffnut was just totally thirsty for Eret was absolutely hilarious though. I couldn't help laughing and cringing at the same time.

When the moment Hiccup's mom Valka showed up, I was not expecting her to be so... skinny. Stoick said that he made helmets out of Hiccup's mom's breast plate, and it seemed pretty big, but looking at her, she didn't look like someone who was close to being a big bosom woman, but what is continuity anyways? LOL Though Hiccup definitely has inherited her knack for dragons. Guess it's in the blood after all.

I teared up a little when Stoick died, and I felt so bad that their bromance was threatened by this, but thankfully Hiccup still loves Toothless and is willing to forgive him and try to bring him back to his side. Goes to show how deep their bond is, and Toothless ended up becoming the Alpha Dragon was one of the most epic moments in the whole movie.

It also kinda interesting that Hiccup has somehow became pretty hot in this movie. Was pretty surprised at how he transformed from the awkward tiny little runt of a boy to a strapping man LOL

Plot feels similar to the 2nd one, but the ending was so so SO bittersweet. A fitting ending, but sweet yet painful for me to watch.

My heart broke at the scene wen Hiccup was complaining about Toothless being in love n said "Am I not enough?" and I was like internally screaming "YES! U ARE ENOUGH!! U TWO ARE ENOUGH!! FUCK THAT LIGHT FURY!!"

Throughout the courtship scene btwn Toothless and the Light Fury i was like internally screaming "NO, SHE'S A TRAP! SHE'S A FUCKING TRAP! HICCUP, WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?! I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!!"

I cried like a fucking baby, especially at the end of the movie. It was like I knew it was happening, that they were gonna break up, but I was in denial, then when Toothless hugged Hiccup goodbye, I lost it, waterworks all over. In fact, waterworks all the way to the end at their final reunion ugly-cried like a fucking baby.

It did ended perfectly; perfectly bittersweet and perfectly heartbreaking and I was like "This is it. It's official. It's over. My Toothcup ship has fucking sank!!"

Fuck you, DreamWorks, you have killed my bromance!! Gahh!! I hate and love this movie at the same time!

Overall rating:

HTTYD: 9/10

HTTYD2: 7.5/10

HTTYD: 9/10

[imjeralee]

hi!! uh, how about both leon and raihan realizing they have feelings for a male challenger? someone of age, ofcourse. i just thought it would be cute to see them be like, “holy fuck, that guy is pretty 👁️👁️”

hi anon! thanks for the ask. Sure thing, see below - 

Leon:

Being Galar’s Champion means Leon gets the chance to see, meet and battle thousands of eager and ambitious gym challengers on a regular basis over the course of his ten year reign

Lately he heard about a gym challenger who had taken the gyms all by storm and had impressed a great deal of the gym leaders and when you passed the semi-finals and finals, he’s even more intrigued.

So he’s naturally curious and also really excited and interested to meet you. He can’t wait to see what you look like, what kind of person you are, what kind of pokemon you have, how you’ve been treating them and how close you are to them and what the battle might be like if you get to the Championship - this is the typical kind of things he thinks about because he’s so passionate about pokemon and battling

But what about himself?

EXACTLY, so he’s totally not prepared to see the gorgeous young man standing opposite him on the pitch when it’s finally time for his battle with you.

Leon doesn’t fall in love with his opponents. He’s not supposed to and no-one has ever made his heart skipped a beat, but his heart did when he laid eyes on you. He’s so blown away by how stunning and breathtaking you are. You’ve taken him off guard in every possible way!

You stand opposite him with a determined but friendly smile on your face in your gym challenger gear and Leon will just stand there and stare for a good moment or so before he finally snaps himself out of it. He’ll be a bit surprised and taken aback by the emotions he’s feeling right now, his cheeks red.

When you walk up, he grows even more nervous which is unlike him and you tell him that you’ve always admired him and you’re really looking forward to the battle etc etc no matter who is the winner. Leon’s heart thumps hard the entire time as he looks at you.

Reminding himself of his duty and the whole reason why they’re here in Wyndon Stadium and with the cheering crowd in the background, Leon goes back to Champion mode and puts that front where he’s grinning and folding his arms over his chest and going like ‘Congratulations Challenger for making it all the way to the finals! I am Leon, Champion of Galar’ the usual standard speech he says to other people who get to this stage but you notice he actually stammers at some point and you’re like ???

You’re not the only one who’s noticed his change of demeanour - Leon is all too aware and he’s not familiar with this feeling; he's not meant to or supposed to be feeling like this. What on earth is happening to him?

The battle begins and Leon usually experiences and goes through the pre-battle jittery sensation, the adrenaline rush and excitement of getting to fight a strong opponent but on this occasion, it’s going crazy and the amount of pressure he feels crazy intense! You’re definitely keeping our sweet Champion on his toes. He realises he’s pretty anxious and nervous in your presence. He doesn’t want to mess up, he doesn’t want to look like a fool.

He will probably focus-slap his face three times and another for good measure, which you notice but you just smile it off

The battle will be intense and Leon will do his best to focus on the match. In fact, he’s trying so hard he’ll be sweating a lot XD

If you lose, he’ll feel really bad and your sad face makes his heart lurch. He’ll approach you shyly and take his hat off, holding it in his hands as he speaks to you; he will be kind and spend more time with you afterwards compared to his other opponents in the past and he will offer to heal your Pokemon, or come with you to the pokemon centre. 

Now that he can’t quite get you out of his head, Leon will want to see you again and can’t wait for the next battle, though inwardly he will always be hoping for more between you

On the other hand, if you win, well you’re the next Champion, Leon will be bewildered at first but at the same time he can’t help but thinking how pretty you are and when you’re emotional and celebrating, he’ll just think to himself O_O oh my god, this guy is so beautiful...he’ll be unable to tear his eyes off you and despite losing the title, he’ll really hope you will continue to be in his life someway or another. He'll probably offer to mentor you into becoming a good Champion and providing emotional support should your duties become too much to bear.

Raihan:

For Raihan, it’s just another day at the gym where he’s meant to be battling and his attention will be on his phone when he’s summoned to the pitch, busy with his social media and taking pictures or waving to the crowd

But when he’s introduced to his opponent and he puts his phone down and stops waving, taken aback by how attractive this gym challenger is. He won’t act like he is but he’s thinking it.

He’ll quickly do his best to find out everything about you if he can - from your social media, any photos, any blogs etc. 

He won’t hide anything. The moment he laid eyes on you and he liked what he saw. He doesn’t even care who’s watching and who’s listening. He’ll still keep it professional when you walk up to the pitch to face him to talk.

Raihan doesn’t mind having relationships with gym challengers and has often thought about it because he’s pretty open, though it is frowned upon. But he’s careful and he’s also quick to know if someone’s just using him just to get his badge and advance onto the championship.

He won’t get that vibe from you though; he knows you’re genuine and hardworking, and Raihan can tell who is a passionate, seasoned battler - it’s from all those years of being Leon’s rival.

He’ll really want to get to know you better.

He’ll say something different to you compared to the other gym challengers, something flirtatious with double entendres which will have you blushing.

And you’ll feel the way how he looks at you...you can tell he’s interested in you beyond the typical and simple gym-challenger/gym leader scope

When you shake hands, he’ll subtly squeeze your hand and even brush his fingers over your knuckles and thumb in a flirty way, accompanied with a wink and a grin.

It doesn’t mean he’ll go easy on you though, just because you’re easy on the eyes. 

Raihan will battle you ferociously. It’s his way of testing you. 

During the battle and you’ll feel this intense chemistry between you two, from the way how he looks at you, how he smirks and grins or licks his top lip and fang... he looks hungry for you. You might need to calm your racing heart a few occasions and remind yourself to focus 

If you lose, he will feel a bit disappointed but he’s looking forward to the rematch. Before you leave, he’ll ask to take a selfie with you and will probably ask for your number or something so you can keep in touch.

If you win, Raihan will be stunned but immensely turned on. He likes having a partner who is stronger than him LOL. 

He’s super impressed; not many gym challengers have come close to making him feel the way he does. He’ll take a selfie with you and ask for your number. When you’re closer, he'll ask you to meet him often outside of the gym.

[robin-the-enby]

If matchups are still open and if it isn't to much trouble may i have black butler (male) matchup please. My pronouns are she/her. Im a Capricorn, my Mbti type is infj-a/infj-t. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud with people who im close to. I have medium length brown hair, green eyes i wear round glasses,pale skin and a lot of freckles. My height is 5'0. I also would consider myself helpful. If someone asks for help with work or something ill try my best to help them. Im not very athletic and im not a big fan of sports but i love to go roller and ice skating. I also love to read books and to also cook and bake food. I also like to garden. I've been playing the violin for 6 years. I love animals and im planing on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. I like to Watch nature/animal documentaries. I also like sweets. My aesthetic would probably be cottagecore. Some things i dislike are people who bend or ruin my books and people who speak over me when im trying to talk. I hope this is ok, sorry if i spelt anything wrong. Hope im not bothering :)

Hello fellow INFJ, welcome to my humble blog! Enjoy your stay! I also considered being a vet, but I'm scared of dogs, so I dropped the idea XD Anyway, I match you with:

Agni

This man is a literal sweetheart. He wouldn't even think of teasing you for being shy, if anything, he gives you some space if you need it.

He is definitely attracted to your kindness, it is something that he values, along with loaylty.

The domestic vibes I'm getting right now, omg.

He would love you even more if you got along with Soma, even though he can act more spoiled than Ciel and Alois combined sometimes.

Even if he had a hard day, he finds the energy to take care of you. Agni would love to do stuff for you, like cooking or washing your hair.

But he loves it even more when you do those things together. Basically anything that you like doing, cooking, tending to the garden, he'd love it if you could do it together.

Although he owes Soma his life, you give him something that he had never had in his life, warmth. And not just any kind of warmth, the kind that only true love can give.

He doesn't want to lose that and so you quickly become his number one, along with Soma.

The young prince is so supportive of you two, just saying. He loves to hear Agni talk about what you two do, because he loves seeing Agni happy. He also may or may not scold him to be good to you from time to time (only jokingly though, because it's clear as day that that man is smitten with you).

It is most likely that Agni has never been ice or roller skating, but he wouldn't be opposed to trying. He'd fall down a few times before getting used to it. Once he does it comes surprisingly easy to him.

He would love watching you ice skate, he thinks you look so graceful, like a ballerina.

If you fall down or get hurt, he gets really worried, please reassure him that you're fine.

I don't think he'd be too into dates since you're spending so much time together as it is, but apart from the skating, he would also like trips to nature, picnics in fields, mushroom picking, making flower crowns (he'd definitely blush if you put a flower crown on his head out of the blue, bby)

He is in awe of your choice of profession. It's one thing to be kind to humans, but a whole other to do the same for animals. Agni thinks it is much harder, since you can't easily articulate to them that you want to help and that makes him admire you even more.

All in all 10/10 supportive, cute boyfriend <3

Others I can see you with: Finnian - I think that he is very much like Agni in many ways, so I'm not gonna repeat myself and tell you some other things that I think would apply for Finny. You could actually teach him how to tend to the garden so it doesn't die. The poor boy is always afraid of hurting you with his inhuman strength and would train in secret with the other servants to learn to control it better. He would be more into taking you out on dates, if the young master gave him permission, he'd love ice skating, but would be terrified of roller skating, because whoa, there are wheels on his feet and omg what does he do now?? But his favourite would definitely be trips to nature, it makes him feel even more free than in the Phantomhive mansion.

[livinginfictions]

Tag/Ask Game

This is a sort of Check-in Tag game thing? I was tagged by @vikingstrash, so thank you dear!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I used to have a different tumblr, and then my sister saw me on it and literally took the mouse and made me follow her own tumblr, and it made me So Immensely uncomfortable, I immediately went and made a whole new blog, and messaged all my mutuals privately to tell them I was moving so my sister wouldn't find out. As I struggled to come up with something more creative than 'time-lady," I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, "Reality sucks, live in fiction" and since livinginfiction was taken, my friend (who was helping with the crisis) and I added an 's.' Voila. Seven years later, it's the only username i have online. XD

2. Any side blog?

Three, actually. We've got @merthurismycrack where I reblog Merthur shit, @samspsychicpowers for some SPN stuff, and the side blog that's basically my main blog at this point: @asterekmess which is where all my Teen Wolf and Sterek stuff goes.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Uhhh, I've been on this blog since August of 2014, but my old blog was started in....March 2013. I've been around a fucking while.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

HA. Fuck no. Do I look that organized? Y'all get three hours of spam reblogs, and then I disappear into the aether. How it should be. XD

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is essentially the same as I said for question one. Sister found the old blog, and I needed a new one. I tend to make my side blogs for more pointed material, so that my main blog can have like...the amalgamation of general stuff i like, and then I can keep the fandomy content more concentrated into the side blogs.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Originally, I did not have this icon. I had this pic I found online with these Beautiful bronze wings against a black background. But then, around the time I decided I wanted to sort of...simplify things and make my username for my online stuff all the same, with all the same pfp's so that I was easily recognized, etc, I realized that....that picture was not mine. I didn't design it or anything. And i couldn't find its source to ask for permission to use it. And it started making me feel shitty for using it in the first place. So I spent like an hour and a half trying to make my Own Wing pic to use, and failed miserably. As a last ditch effort, i went through my 'artistic' photos on my phone and found this one. I adore sky pics, and cloud pics, etc, so it was super my thing, and I just slapped it on there. Still not sick of it. XD I also went to my side blogs and changed out the pfp's for photos that I'd taken, except the sterek blog, because that one is literally just a black triskelion on a white background, and it's a pretty non-specific thing. I would have used a picture of my Own Tattoo, but it's very hard to get a picture of my back that doesn't have weird lighting, and I'm just too lazy.

7. Why did you choose your header?

All my headers are also photos that I've taken or art pieces that I've made. In the case of this blog, it's a picture I made with a 'galaxy maker' online thingy. I love green. I love blue. Ta dah. In general i just try to find something that gives me the right vibes or has the right color palette to match what it's for. (orange and blue for sterek, trees for merlin, and wings for spn)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

On this blog? I.....just spent two hours digging through all my posts tagged 'personal' bc i wanted the post that I MADE with the most notes...and i have no idea. I mostly respond to other posts, rather than making my own. The highest note count i can find is a post i made abt having friends that aren't in your fandom, which means you can use inspirational quotes to help them through tough times without them realizing ur quoting doctor who or something. 22 notes. *fingerguns* I'm famous, i know.

9. How many mutuals do you have ?

Is...is that a thing i can check?? or do you expect me to hand count??

10. How many followers do you have right now?

Uhghhghghgh, this blog has 439 at the moment, and i'm pretty sure not a lot of those are porn bots, bc i usually screen new followers for it. a lot of them have come over from my sterek blog though.

11. How many people do you follow?

hehe....uh...36.....one of which is my husband....

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't even know what the requirements for something being a 'shitpost' are....but i think no?

EDIT: I Take it Back, I just found a post I made with "Hot Take: PIneapples are an honorary citrus fruit" and I believe that counts? So YES.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Uh, nearly every day, multiple times a day. Sometimes i forget it exists for a couple days, though. It's my only social media. I dont use twitter or facebook or instagram. I Have Accounts, but I literally dont open those apps more than once a month.

14. Did you have a fight /argument with another  blog ? Who won?

My sterek blog gets in fights more often than it should. XD I'm feisty. And I dunno who wins, i think no one. it's tumblr. there's no real winning or losing.

15. How do feel about “ you need to reblog  this” post?

Oh 90% of the time I'll fucking ignore it on principle. I come to tumblr to enjoy myself and escape. I refuse to guilt the shit out of myself and my followers for not reblogging something deemed Essential. I don't care how deep the topic is or how heavy. Sometimes that's WHY I'm not reblogging it, because I don't want that shit on my blog. The other 10% of the time, I'll go to most recent reblog that Doesn't have the guilty shit on it, and then reblog that.

16. Do you like tag games?

It sounds narcissistic, but I like being tagged in them and doing them. I just Really Really Really hate tagging anyone else.

17. Do you like ask games?

Yup, I think they're fun, though I really don't think anyone wants to know this much about me.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Uhhh...I have no clue. I think...I think I might be the tumblr famous mutual, or at least my sterek blog is....

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Yup. My husband.

20. Tagged?

Uh, no one. makes me anxious. XD If someone wants to do it, go ahead and claim i tagged you, i promise no one'll call ur bluff.

[dream-girls-evil]

⭐

Oh boy someone finally took pity and is gonna let me talk about The Lovers XD

This project got...SO much bigger than intended. It started as a funny crack idea I sent to another CAOS blog about Lilith freaking out about Adam and asking Zelda to be her fake girlfriend. And then I actually started thinking about it, and it has now turned into a four-part series. And it’s going to be angsty. Crack and angst, that’s my brand.

The titles for the series, The Lovers, is a reference to the tarot card. It represents a choice to be made in one’s romantic life, one that often has serious consequences and might be irreversible. It’s going to come into play on both a literal and metaphorical level. We never saw Zelda’s third card in the Tarot episode, and with what I’m setting up, The Lovers will be fitting. But it’s also just a theme of this series--Zelda and Lilith both wanting to choose each other and not always being able to, and the consequences there are for their choices.

The titles for each part of the story, after several re-labelings, come from the song Deep End by Birdy. They are 1) Can we just pretend? 2) I wish they’d told me, 3) How do we mend? and 4) If you mean everything. The titles as well as the general vibe of the song itself should give you a really good idea of the tone and content of this fic. There’s a lot of longing and love but also regret. I actually first heard this song on a Zelith video (here), and while my story is very different than the one the video portrays, it’s themes and hopeful ending are really what inspired me to use the lyrics. I also love this song because it’s not strictly and obviously about romantic love, and neither is this fic. It’s going to be a very slow burn to their eventual relationship, because it’s really important to me that they truly bond as friends and get to know each other as people first. Right now, they each need a friend and confidante much more than a romance, and part of what I think gives them so much potential as a couple is how similar and well-suited to each other they are on those basic levels first and foremost.

Everything else below the cut!

Can we just pretend?

Oh, so much to say about this fic. I love fake dating fics, it’s just a hilarious trope with so much potential for awkward and absurd situations. Plus, I know there are several in this fandom, but they’re all AUs, and I think one of the fun parts of setting one in the CAOS universe is that Lilith and Zelda are trying to fool each other just as much as everyone else. Their motives are really layered and at odds, which is great to watch since they are both so good at acting and manipulating, so in the course of trying to play each other they find that they’ve kind of met their match and enjoy the challenge. 

For Zelda, on the surface (and what she tells Lilith), her central motivation for everything is still trying to gain power within the church, and with Blackwood still being her best route to do that, she wants to use this fake relationship to make him jealous. Really, it’s just adding another layer to the pressure she puts on him to make their relationship legitimate. But also, she has reason to want to keep him away for the moment: Leticia. Then, finally, of course, she just wants to stay close to Lilith because she’s suspicious and hopes that if they spend time together, she’ll be able to monitor and limit Lilith’s interactions with Sabrina, plus improve her chances of catching the woman in a lie. 

This part of the series takes place starting with the events of A Midwinter’s Tale and ending a little after The Epiphany, and you’re all in for a wild ride. There’s lots of shenanigans, but also a lot of softness and angst--and that’s where the layered meaning of the title comes in. It is obviously humorous because this is the question Lilith asks Zelda in the beginning--”please pretend to be my girlfriend and help me out”--but as things go on and the two of them start to actually bond, it takes on another context. A fake relationship needs a fake break up, and they both know that once that happens, things are really going to change. Zelda will pursue Blackwood, and Lilith will continue doing whatever the Dark Lord asks her to do with Sabrina. There’s not really going to be room in their lives for this real friendship that’s formed, but they want to pretend they’ll make it work. Whoops, started with crack then gut-punched you with feelings. 

Anyway, there will be bed sharing, Hilda completely misinterpreting things, a whole side plot with Vinegar Tom, awkward dinner dates, temperamental telekinesis, and hide and seek in the mortuary! Yaaay!

I wish they’d told me

So, this part is sad? Sorry. After their fake break up, they are both moving in different directions and really trying to pretend they don’t miss each other as much as they do. And while they are trying to hang on to their friendship, they choose their own plans over each other a lot. This also takes place over the remaining episodes from part 2, so there’s a lot of heavy content in general, and honestly, not much is going to change just because Zelda and Lilith are on better terms.

The thing with this section is that there will be a lot of added context to certain scenes. Blackwood’s passion play will be a direct dig at Lilith, and knowing Zelda was involved with it will make it hurt all the more. Lucifer giving Blackwood His blessing to marry Zelda will be to minimize her influence on Lilith as much as Sabrina. Lilith’s tricks with the tarot cards and her glamour of Edward will be to try and help Zelda as much as for her own ends. 

The only really big thing that changes is that without Adam and his offer of taking Lilith to Tibet, the awful dinner scene will be replaced with Lucifer taunting Lilith about what Zelda is going through, since it lines up with the honeymoon. But don’t expect Lilith to save her, unfortunately, because she’s terrified of what Lucifer would do to both of them if he found out she interfered. Plus, she is conscious that it would bring up a lot of questions if she did, like how she knew Zelda was in trouble, and she’s afraid of that, too. Which brings us to the end of part 2 where, obviously, everyone finds out who Lilith really is, and it’s much worse because they all genuinely care about her and trusted her.

On the bright side though, we will see Lilith’s relationship with Sabrina, and the Fright Club and Spellman family by extension, improve, and how that affects them both. It’s going to get very awkward for her at times listening to Sabrina and Hilda treat her like Zelda’s ex and lament their break up, but they’ll also show her a lot more care and consideration and go to her for help more, which is a very odd experience for Lilith.

How do we mend?

Part 3! Kudos to everyone who’s actually read this far, because I know it’s literally a fucking essay. Anyway, as should be obvious from the title, this largely deals with Zelda and Lilith trying to figure out their feelings for each other in the aftermath of Lucifer’s imprisonment. On the one hand, Lilith’s betrayal is a lot more personal for Zelda. On the other hand, because she knows Lilith a lot better, she realizes a lot more of the truth about Lilith’s relationship to Lucifer and exactly what she went through. So Zelda is dealing with a lot of guilt and confusion about what was real and what could have been done differently and how she actually feels about Lilith after it all. So, again, we have a lot of added context to some of her actions, like deciding to have the coven pray to Lilith.

Meanwhile, Lilith is just lonely. She’s got her crown, but she’s also lost the first people who ever really respected and cared for her, even if they didn’t really know her. She wants to talk to Zelda and explain but doesn’t feel it’s her place. Bring on the yearning. Eventually they will be brought back together though, and that’s the start of this series really diverging from canon, because Lilith’s relationships to everybody is going to change how they handle a lot of events. Plus, I just really want to do a better job with Mary’s plotline and the pagans’ portrayal than canon.

They’ve got a lot to work through and work out, and will finally have to really confront and examine their feelings for each other, especially with some of the very emotional things they go through. They’re very protective of each other, and I love it. Another interesting thing will be when Marie comes on the scene and shows interest in Zelda. I haven’t quite decided how I’m going to play that dynamic yet, but I do know that it’s not going to be one of jealousy or competition. I’m not into that. They’re all mature adults perfectly capable of respecting each other’s boundaries and choices.

If you mean everything

Finally! Part 4 is the least planned out, since it’s so far in the future and so reliant on how the pacing of part 3 works out, which I don’t know yet, and also whatever I take from part 4 of the show, which I don’t know yet. But I do really want the main focus to be on Lilith and Zelda working through their respective traumas in the context of their relationship. They’ve both been through a lot, and they need to learn how to talk about it with each other. And I think that they’ll still be having some trouble coming to terms with the intensity of their feelings, because love isn’t something that’s been abundant in either of their lives really, and it has a way of changing your priorities even if you didn’t plan on it. I do think this part will probably end up being shorter and more like an epilogue. I’m definitely not going with the pregnancy storyline, so Lucifer/Blackwood will probably end up captured at the end of part 3 unless I can think of another way to have them escape or separate them.

WOW this was literally so much, let me know if you made it through! XD

I hope it was somewhat interesting. I didn’t even try not to give any spoilers because I’m me and overshare. But I hope it got everyone excited for this story and inspired to keep bugging me about writing it, because I need it.

[hearttoshu]

If you could pair up your mutuals with a member from Seventeen (besides their bias) who would you pair them up with and why? P.s i love your blog!!!

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH I’M CRYING T-T I’m honestly so happy you’ve made my day! 

Aaaaand that’s really hard :,)) I’m really tempted to just pair everyone with their bias wreckers now too haha… the thing is each of my friends have biases for a reason they match well! But I’ll try hehe (and it’s super long) so ye and these are just my opinions haha (also I’m sorry I can only do a few of my mutuals that I’m familiar with, it’s because it would be too long and you’ll see what I mean…)

@bloatedboo​ ~ Seungkwan: Ok so hear me out about this I think seri is really funny and seungkwan is also really funny which is why I think they’d be cute together and also seungkwan kinda seems to me, that how people view him matters like he takes what others say about him to heart even if they’re not the nicest comments and is a bit self deprecating and Seri doesn’t much let that kind of stuff affect her so I feel like they’d be a good match in that aspect because she’d remind him he’s wonderful all the time and he’d do anything to make her smile so yea lol

@jetaimeyoongi​ ~ Mingyu: and not because he was her bias before lol but just I feel like since she’s on the dab squad she shares a lot in common with Minghao 😂 like Soph is really talented at dancing (and singing and rapping) like Minghao is and she also has a kind of bright sense of humor and since minghao and mingyu get along so well I think she’d be cute with mingyu because she’d be able to handle his puppy-like personality the best and they’d dote on each other all the time that’s CUTE

@softwonwoo​ ~ Jun: Ok before Jian was a carat I sorta guessed her bias would be jun even though she surprised me with biasing wonu hehe (though jiwoo is hella cute) and the reason was he makes stupid puns and cheesy jokes (I mean wonwoo does too) like Jin of bts (who is her bts bias haha) and he has a beautiful and light airy voice and can dance beautifully (also like Jian) and they can make dumb jokes together and be pretty people and walk down the street together and make people’s jaws drop at them like lol that’s what I initially thought and they both opt not to share too many personal struggles and internalize it and make jokes about it (?) so that’s why I think that

@starry-sof​ ~ Wonu: LOL the surprises keep coming uhhh ok so my reasoning is they both kinda have darker senses of humor ?? And they both really like books and I can absolutely imagine Sof getting fired up about something and ranting for a long time to wonu only for him to nod say ok at the end and then launch into a full deep discourse over the issue… and I can imagine them doing a show or production together since wonu is good at acting and their personalities kinda click form what I can see..?

@malikani ~ Joshua: I’m- sndkejdje XD anyway my reasoning for this is because Angie sings and so does joshu and they’re both incredibly kind people and also based on her got7 bias (bambam lol) I feel like josh (being his dork of a self) would absolutely love making her laugh and singing for her with his guitar (and again beautiful people walking on the street making people’s jaws drops istg Angie I love you so much :D)

@vinerlover ~ Seokmin: the purest and kindest type of people??? I love them both so much???? They’re literally the nicest people ever they’d match well I think since they both are very bright to me and both have insecurities… so if they were together they’d probably grow to be very amazing people,helping each other become more confident and cheering each other on!

@jeonghanniesfool ~ Wonwoo: I’M ALSO REALLY TEMPTED TO SAY UJI BUT I WON’T AIKA... The reason is she writes incredibly well and is incredibly intelligent so I feel like they’d definitely be a good match for conversations over anything and he has such a chill attitude I think they’d match in personality too 

@ksys-star ~ HOSHIILITERALLYCAN’TASTREANDSOONYOUNGAREGREAT uhhh Jun: They both have a sort of childlike and blunt humor to them and I love how they’re both slightly teasing (ANDALSOASTRETHEJUNPICSYOUSUBMITTEDTOMYINBOXARESTILLTHERE)

@urijeongcheol ~ Seungcheol: I think Grace and Cheol would be cute! She’s so incredibly nice and BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS I LOVE HER and I feel like Cheol would be so smitten i can’t the idea is just too cute

@bikerwoozi ~ Jeonghan: (this is another one of those let’s put really beautiful people together and see if the world could handle it sort of deal) Chloe is very forward with what she likes and she’s so passionate about it too! I feel like Hannie is too! (also i don’t wanna just opt out and say hao lol even though Hao’s her boy too :,))

@fallingforcheol ~ Chan: I haven’t spoken to Ri too much but from the posts I see I genuinely think Ri’s a very creative and hilarious person! And tbh I think Ri and Chan would have a great time exposing everyone and making jokes about everyone haha XD

@shuuvee ~ Soonyoung: I’m causing all kinds of chaos with this I’m very sorry The reason being I think Kevin and Hoshi would balance out well! Soonyoung is very outgoing and self confident and this is what I would see as a Junhao dynamic haha where they both complete the shortcomings of the other and are always the strongest together! Plus Soonyoung being Kevin’s personal cheerleader and rooting him on in everything he does is a whole af mood

@mingshuaa ~ Jihoon: Shawna and Jihoon (to me) seem to be people who don’t outwardly show affection in the form of words like “I love you” but in the little things they do! Idk i just think they’d be cute! Also they’re both not super into skinship haha

@multyfan1458 ~ Vernon: i’mhonestlycausingsomuchchaosi’msorryeveryoneistillgenuinelyshipy’allwithyourbiaseshahaha Because I honestly find Krystal so funny and chill? Just like Hansol! And I love the both of them their senses of humor are unrivaled :,)))

@officialhoshi ~ Minghao: I’M SORRY EVERYONE LOL I just get a very comforting vibe from the both of them? Like Maya seems like someone you can talk about anything comfortably and be understanding and I feel like minghao would too gosh I’m soft

AGAIN I’M SORRY FOR THE CHAOS I HAVE CAUSED LMAO I LOVE YOU ALL and don’t take what I say to seriously what do I know :,))

[tereishqnachaya]

Hey there. You don't have to answer this if it's personal but why the hashtag i am over stuff? I remember your blog used to be all things Obi but not anymore. What happened?

Oh no, it’s not personal at all! It’s really as simple as me being “over it” xD

I do understand how weird it must seem that there was a point where I was literally OBSESSED with everything this man does or had done or was going to do. Where every sentence he said/typed was the absolute wittiest/funniest in my head. Now that I think about it’s maybe because he was having such a grand time career wise. Part of a blockbuster drama, doing justice to an already popular character, getting all this fame not just for his acting but his off screen persona. It wasn’t hard to get smitten. Plus, he had this whole ‘educated about stuff’ and ‘woke AF’ vibe going on and that was just so rare in Pakistani celebrity circle for me that ghar ki daal hi murgi bann gayi!

Then things just started dwindling. The SM persona of his which was always such a plus point in his favor started becoming problematic cuz of some stuff that was said and done. I don’t even remember the exact details just the feeling of, “Huh? Did not expect this of him..” For a loooong time, we didn’t see him onscreen doing great stuff so the offscreen was all we had. And this offscreen really matters because that’s the only connection we have with these celebs. But the issues started from his SM activities itself. I remember back in DeD days, me and a fellow fan used to discuss how Obi really needs to learn how to better conduct himself on SM. It’s cool and all but his fandom was no longer the burger awaam who was okay with innuendo talks. But I was smitten in those days so I defended him more. Later I realized that he, whether consciously or unconsciously, wanted to choose who can talk about him. Which was okay on one hand cuz some of the comments he got were ridiculous but later on it became problematic cuz he was essentially going against the fandom who made him so popular in the first place. THAT did not sit well with me once the detachment period started..

I guess the point is that I finally realized that he was good, not great. And he only became great in certain conditions. Also what he does isn’t all that extraordinary. What made him “unique” was that he does it all in an industry where it’s not very common to be this multi-talented. That doesn’t mean he’s the best at everything. In this internet ka zamana when there are SO many people in various field that one can fangirl over, I really don’t have the time and energy to be a fan of someone who does more problematic things than quality ones.

(In comparison, look at Maya. I used to believe that I only liked her cuz she was associated with Obi. But oh, how the tables have turned. Now I like Obi because of his association with HER. Not only does she continue to do fab work in her career but she always, ALWAYS makes sure to never forget who made her this star in the first place)

Maybe I’ve been wrong. Maybe I totally misread the situations which put me off him in the first place. Maybe he was right in how he dealt with criticisms and fandom behavior. But I don’t care, what’s done is done. I don’t dislike him, I’m just no longer affected by what he does. At least not right NOW. Maybe when he’ll be back with a proper project and I’ll be in the mood of it, I’ll like him again. God knows I do like his face just not necessarily what comes out of his mouth. But I doubt that obsession wala pyaar will happen again. I changed, he changed, the frequencies don’t match anymore.

[goalkepa]

TUMBLR TAG GAME

tagged by @brawn-gp & @ctolisso​ thank you my friiiiends 💙

1. Why did you choose your url? I wanted to have an url related to the football club I support, and since kepa is part of the reasons why I started to follow chelsea plus ive always had some special admiration for goalkeepers in general so these are some really good matches!

2. Any side blogs? I don't have any side blogs but im one of the members of dailyf1 

3. How long have you been on tumblr? I think I started this one in 2017, one year after euro2016 so woof, this year’s euro has some very special meaning to me!

4. Do you have a queue tag? yes I started to queue posts recently since I could be busy hence being a bit inactive for a couple of days. the tag is *く, which is a Japanese alphabet and sounds a little bit like queue. I started to learn Japanese this semester so yeah just wanna put what ive learned into my blog hahah.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? I remember I was searching for football pictures back in 2017 and got linked to tumblr then I created an account. I didn't even know how this place works at the beginning (I meant its kinda a bit different from other kinds of social media right?) I think I finally figured out everything (the tags, the fandoms, the asks/dms) during world cup 2018 (yeah it took me one year because im stupid *insert Charles’ voice*) 

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? MASSSSEE Chelsea’s baby and pride <3 I was struggling choosing between the one of him holding the cl trophy and this one. but in the end I feel like this one gave me more of pure happiness vibes and the little smile with the medal around his neck is just amazing <3

7. Why did you choose your header? okay my whole tumblr theme is kinda all about Chelsea winning cl which is literally not a secret anyway but yeah the header im using right now including my fav bromance Tammy/Mason and the match winner Kai, so I literally couldn't find a better one to use. 

8. What’s your post with the most notes? Lewis’ post-race interview from Abu Dhabi GP 2020 it was such a beautiful moment that I was so amazed by this man’s pure reaction and his love for this sport. im so glad to have this moment on my blog and that people appreciate it too, even until now!

9. How many mutuals do you have? idk XD but I started to have more mutuals when I joined the f1 fandom, and then found out that a lot of them are football fans too which made me extremely happy!

10. How many followers do you have? 3.6k for now. thank you all for following me ♡ (I always do the appreciation post when I reached 1k-3k in the past no matter how busy I was, so hopefully I will be able to write the next one soon!)

11. How many people do you follow? 106! I don't like dramas so I tried to make my dashboard as clean as possible.

12. Have you ever made a shit post? well I guess not. im not a funny person so im sure no one will like the shit post or bad jokes I make. but if shit post means gifs/edits getting so less notes, then yeah there are a lot XD

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?  more than I should have tbh! </3 but this is the place I enjoyed the most when it comes to sports related. ive learned so much from many people!

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? oh my this is surly black history. and the answer is yes I did. I had fight/argument with my ex-mutuals quite a lot and all of the processes didn't go well so I was not friends with them anymore. sometimes it seemed to be ridiculous that, I mean, its just sport, but different opinions on it leads to a bad situation and bad taste between friendship. however I guess this kind of thing is unavoidable especially all the communication was through online. 

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts? if its something I agree then I will definitely reblog!

16. Do you like tag games? ofc! but sometimes I forgot to do it when I was too busy. 

17. Do you like ask games? yeah I do! its a good way to kill the time but also like rarely people asked me anything aksjnakjsn (im a boring person I know </3)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? all of my mutuals are much more famous than meeeee

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? @ilott well do you count 👀 (jk ily)

20. Tags : @sunslittlesister @yuleneverwalkalone @kiwi-lawson @ilott @withhopeinourhearts @elpuppies @abrahamtammy @footballffbarbiex @e-durm only if you want to do it! 💙

[this-blog-should-not-exist]

It’s a blog for a reason

Idk if i’ll keep up with this actually or not but its a blog for a reason, they’re places were you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. I said Id do the same thing with my personal blog but also I follow some friends on that blog and they probably don't want to hear about the stuff I get up to or my little depressive episodes. I mean sure they’ll show their concern but that only goes so far I guess. 

Idk I mean it’s just a place for me to talk, I once started a google docs document where I had the idea to start writing like a guide? i guess you could call it but where I would write the name of someone I knew, one of my friends, a family member, ex boyfriends, whoever then I would create an entry of who they were, their interactions with me, my relationship with them and what I thought of them or their like defining character traits or actions that stood out to me. The benefit with this though I guess is that I can just type whatever comes to mind as i type it. Sometimes it could be organized and tie into older posts if I keep up with it or it could just be on the fly stories and recollections of thing that have happened to me or what I’m feeling at the time. Ive meant or at least had the idea to actually physically write this or start a journal where I could do the same thing but that would take me much longer to do where typing I can do much faster and get more thoughts out. Plus writing for so long and about so much makes my hand hurt after a while and I can’t talk about all I wanted to because I can't keep writing. I don't have that problem with typing XD

I guess I could start with some recent events that have been on my mind. So I guess about like 2 months ago? I had gotten a Tinder. That in itself was an event XD Ive always been both curious and scared of it because in my mind meeting someone on tinder doesn't feel as genuine when meeting someone by chance or passing or words between friends to meet someone new. But I had gotten one and within a few weeks I had made quite a few matches, however none of them seemed really into it. Half of them never messaged me back and only seemed to be there for the sake of getting a match, others may have talked back but didn't seem interested in trying to start something or meet up for a date. I had finally gotten one guy to go on a date with me, I had never really talked to him but Ive seen his face around because we had some friends within the same social group but like I said, never really met or talked to him only seen him on like instagram before. We had gone on one date and texted a bit but he just wasnt for me. I called him a “real flower child” is the best way I can describe it. Now I don't mean to offend anyone but also who the fuck is gonna read all this, this is only my first like text blog post no one really cares its more for me to get this out. Anyway I call him a real flower child because he's very outdoorsy and loves nature and Lana Del Ray and has the whole nose ring piercing, curly hair, circular glasses, he actually said once “the world make me sad” as he took a bath with candles and a bath bomb, he also said “wine makes me cry” which I mean ok maybe wine does make people drunk cry but still its all about his aesthetic. Its a fun aesthetic but that’s just not for me.

After him I had an occasional match but I ran into the same problem where either no one wanted to talk and was just there for a match or they never seemed interested. I had given up on the app really but I kept it around because in the back of my head I'm thinking like alright, its all good, I'm a patient person it just takes some time, you never know I may meet someone actually, and then last week I matched with two guys. One that lives on the other side of Columbus and one that lives just outside of Easton. The one on the other side of Columbus is really cute and had a lot of the same interests and is just kinda quirky and fun, I just haven't met him yet but we both want to meet up. Now the other one I’ll just say J, he lives outside of Easton and I went on my first date with him on Sunday. It was a good day, we had wandered around Easton, gone out to eat and saw a movie. He also has a lot of the same interests as me, video games, some anime, youtube, but thats about it actually now that I think about it. He's a little rough, like more aggressive but in a sarcastic way I guess. But we vibe well together i feel. Shorter than me, has contacts, wears glasses occasionally mostly at home really. He's 21 as well which I mean sure Im 19 but I guess thats where Im also attracted to him because he's a little older, he’s more mature than some of my past boyfriends but also has a childish side like me. Thats where we’re similar. We went and saw Mother! which I guess was supposed to be a phycological thriller but it was really dumb to us, it didn't make much sense. I was during the movie where I first kissed him, I had wanted to earlier as well but I didn’t feel like it was right yet. It made me laugh though that that was the movie we saw and decided ah yes, this is a good movie to kiss and cuddle and hold hands to. 

After the movie I didn't quite want to leave yet because I was getting pretty attached to him that night so we went back to his apartment for the night. I watched him play Skyrim for a bit, he let me try out Overwatch while him and his roommate had gone to get her some pizza. Which I thought like alrighty, this is okay, just leave me alone at your apartment even though I literally just physically met you today. They came back after like a half hour, eventually me and him went back to his room, we made out for a good while on and off. He wanted to take a bath together which I had never done before. My last boyfriend had suggested it but I never really wanted to much. We got the water running for a second but I was really anxious, I had gotten my shirt off but I didn't take off my pants. He was already in his underwear, it took me a second but eventually he also kinda forced me as in getting close and kissing me then pulling down my shorts and underwear. I was really awkward at that point. It took me like 2 months before my last boyfriend had seen me naked and no one before him has seen me naked, its just not my thing its weird, I just don't like it much. But anyway so we had gotten in the shower instead, I was still pretty anxious. My legs were shaking I was hugging my body, it was just generally uncomfortable but within a few minutes I had mostly gotten over it. It just make me feel really weird. After the shower we got out and just laid on his bed for a bit still naked. I had gotten over it by that time but there was still some after feelings that I guess I didn't notice as much since we were making out again. Eventually we but our underwear back on and a t shirt and went to bed after about another hour or so.

The next morning we just stayed in bed really until I had to leave to go back home because mom was wondering where I was, I had texted her last night that I was staying there with him so that was taken care of. Eventually I got home and that was that. He had actually invited me to a party one of his coworkers was having that night but I had already stayed with him one night and I had to but up early the next morning for work so I told him no I couldn't which of course he was pouting over a little but in a playful way that you would when your flirting with someone. So that night I actually ended up going to a party at my other friends house till like 1am but THAT was ok because he only lived like 5 minutes away from home compared to an hour that J lived. That was  Monday night, the first date was Sunday and I stayed with J Sunday night. I worked early on Thursday morning but then he came out to my house that afternoon. We played some Mario Kart Double Dash at my house then drove out to my friends house Ive been housesitting for to technically grab some wires for my Wii but then we ended up taking another bath in their huge bathtub with jets for about an hour and a half which was nice. I was used to being naked with J by now. We watched some youtube while in the bath, made out for a bit again. Then we got dressed and drove back to my house. By the time we got back it was about 1am when I wanted to get to bed because between Sunday and Monday night I had gotten about 8 hours of sleep total. So he left and that was Tuesday. Now yesterday, Wednesday I worked again early in the morning, then I went back out to Columbus and saw J again for a few hours, we played some gamecube again, I went with him to get groceries, then me and him went out to eat. Came back and laid in his bed in our underwear again watching youtube and cuddling and kissing until it was about 11:30 then I went home again. 

Idk what to make of J, I like him, he's the farthest Ive been on a first date thats for sure. I enjoy his company but do I? Or is it just because I haven't had any sort of attention like this in almost 6 months? Like I had said we share some similar interests. Video games, some music, a little bit of anime and legos. He's pretty sweet with me but also he's a little more aggressive than me, which I mean Im okay with kinda. challenge me a little, don't be afraid to playfully challenge and fight me. But don't be an ass about it. Idk theres the other kid on the other side of Columbus who I've been snap chatting as well but Ive been giving J most of my attention.