#maté

[writersushiii]

[tenth-sentence]

When it was dark, we made a fire beneath a little arbour of bamboos, fried our charqui (or dried slips of beef), took our maté, and were quite comfortable.

"Journal of Researches into the Natural History and Geology of the Countries Visited During the Voyage of H.M.S. Beagle Round the World, 1832-36" - Charles Darwin

[happywebdesign]

https://manayerbamate.com/

[godsopenwound]

If your parents didn’t know how to hold you, you develop the mind you hold yourself with, so you find safety in this mind that you created. So the human mind, the ordinary egoic mind, is basically a defensive structure. It’s, in significant ways, a response to pain, it’s designed to keep you from experiencing pain, it’s worried and anxious and it’s defensive, so when it comes to change and vulnerability the mind wants to defend against it. It comes out of fear, which comes out of childhood experience where the pain that you had wasn’t held, and therefore you develop these mind structures to keep you from experiencing it, and one of them is clearly addiction.

— Dr. Gabor Maté

[nando161mando]

[randomfoggytiger]

David Duchovny's Rehab Snitch: Confirmation

Every article I've come across discussing DD's stint in rehab always recycled the same sentiment, which abcnews succinctly sums up:

He was the first celebrity to own up to sex addiction. Other public figures have sought treatment following sexual indiscretions since then.... But Duchovny still holds the distinction of being the only celebrity to cite sex addiction as his reason for treatment, as opposed to depression, "undisclosed reasons" or any number of other ailments.

Yet, according to his own words, David had a different experience:

To be honest with you, when I went through it [rehab] and I was stripped of my anonymity, y'know, immediately-- which, if you're going to attempt to do 12 Step stuff, anonymity is a keystone of that. And I was barred from that almost immediately in my journey there.

And I wondered: what could he be referencing, being "stripped of his anonymity?"

Well, the only article I could find that confirms DD's side of things was written in October 2008-- and it paints a different picture from the one I hear commonly speculated:

"X Files" star David Duchovny's announcement that was he was in rehab for sex addiction sparked a lot of rumors. One of them was that he'd been caught having an affair with his tennis instructor (a woman) and that he was undergoing rehab to save his marriage.

Alas, it isn't so, says a close friend. Duchovny did not check in because of an extramarital fling. That much the friend is certain of. Even more so: Duchovny's problem has been longstanding. His wife, Tea Leoni, was aware of it for some time. It had just reached a point where it had to be treated.

I have inferred from my conversation with Duchovny's friend that this has something to do with an addiction to pornography, probably on the internet. It's the sex equivalent of a gambling addiction, where the person is just hopelessly trapped in chat rooms....

By the way, I'm told that David issued that press statement about his rehab because the tabloids were about to issue their own story. What happened: A fellow patient "dropped a dime" on David to make some extra coin. Nice confidentiality!

Huffington Post still has the article up, meaning whatever legal measures David used to shut down alleged affair rumors were ineffective or unwarranted in this case: either because he didn't feel the need to address anonymous speculation-- other rag mags still have "articles" up about he or Tea cheating, after all-- or because the "source" had proof that the newspaper wielded in their defense. Regardless, no other tabloid fodder matched the key detail DD mentioned on his podcast. Meaning, to me, these claims not only coincide with what he said, but also have legs of their own.

This is all to be taken with a grain of salt, of course. No one will ever know the truth of what happened except David and Tea. As is their right.

Thank you for reading~

[3liza]

what are your thoughts on scattered minds?

haven't read it in a few years but I think any book that explains why your dysfunctional brain makes the decisions it does is useful for the patient because it gives you a way to argue back. oh you're constantly scanning for danger and you're obsessively checking this person in the room for signs they are mad at you? dipshit, you don't have to do that anymore. it made sense to do it then, but you're out of that situation and things are different now. catch up.

his book doesn't say "trauma causes ADHD" it's more complex than that, since some ADHD kids don't have childhood trauma. but adhd diagnosis is predictive of adverse childhood experiences both before and after(!) diagnosis so Maté is absolutely on to something.

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

[mariwatchesmovies]

Vampyr - Der Traum des Allan Grey | Vampyr (1932) dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer cine. Rudolph Maté & Louis Née

[shisasan]

The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain.

Dr. Gabor Maté

[citizenscreen]

Van Johnson and Jane Wyman in MIRACLE IN THE RAIN (1956), directed by Rudolph Maté

[davidhudson]

Rudolph Maté, January 21, 1898 – October 27, 1964.

[gatutor]

Lee J. Cobb-Adele Jergens-Stephen Dunne "Cerco de odio" (The dark past) 1948, de Rudolph Maté.

[nando161mando]

Holocaust survivor Gabor Mate on Gaza: It’s like we’re watching Auschwitz on TikTok

[sunsetmaiden]

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction - Gabor Maté

[randomfoggytiger]

Fail Better Premium: David's Thoughts (Part III)

Creating a breadcrumb trail with David Duchovny's personal growth.

"The origin story of the podcast was the House of D business. And, y'know, I wanted to further that-- extend the failure-- because it's not just that movie didn't make enough money, Rotten Tomatoes this or that or the other thing. It's really... that that was an authentic expression from me. Y'know, it was coming out of a global, corporate, a wonderful hit in The X-Files; but this was kinda me, coming out and swinging and saying, 'This is the kinda art I want to make. This is the kind of writing and directing I want to do.' And it felt authentic, it felt like I was making a real 'coming of age' story. And I thought it had well-observed psychological insight. And it was moving, and hopefully funny. And, and, um, that was, y'know, kind of, impulse going in; I wasn't thinking I'm gonna-- this isn't me as 'the great auteur', y'know? This was my first, very personal artistic expression after The X-Files.

"...So, I come out, and this is an authentic piece of myself; and then that gets the F, that gets the fail. And I think that's why it hurt so badly; and here we have this podcast, so many years later, that is still using this as an origin story. And even though I laughed about it-- when I talked about it with Ben Stiller-- um, the pain was lingering; and obviously still is because I'm still working through it, why am I still talking about it? ...But it keeps unfolding. And the fact that it was authentic... is a new wrinkle for me. It wasn't just 'oh, failure, oh, public failure, oh, professional failure'; now it's almost like a personal failure, because I felt I was being authentic. There was a real offering, I felt, in authenticity. And freedom. And for it to be met with the skepticism and the censure that I thought it was. Mm, it went deeper.

"And as Dr. Maté would say, it put me in touch with other times where my authentic self had been rejected. And that's something that I now can look at; and maybe we can all look at. Y'know, these times when... it feels insignificant, but we were being authentic; and somebody else said, 'I'd rather have the socially acceptable you'. Y'know, not outright. You got the sense. '...So let's go back to, y'know, that other construct you made-- as an actor, as a commercial person in a world of selling goods.' This is not sour grapes at all, and I'm not pointing fingers. This is how it goes."

(Part I, Part II)