Hi! First off, your banner is dope AF and I'm still vibrating over Plo!Pussy because it's the highlight of my discord DM with my bestfriend 🤣🤣🤣. But any how, I saw this:
bad jedi manners: lighting a death stick with their lightsaber
I was hoping if at all possible, you could grace us with Qui-Gon Jinn lightning a death stick with his light saber looking very 'DONE' and Plo giving him the side eye because they be bffs? Plo is optional btw or anything that makes it easy if you have the time at all.
Thank you! I love you on my dash ♥
𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕™
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Mace: *dragging Kenobi and Vos out of the slam poetry night by their tunic collars and stops Tholme and Jinn from leaving them behind* No, you heard our rules after last week’s incident, they’ve been banned!
Qui-Gon: *ready to argue* What in the galaxy could my sweet baby padawan have done to get kicked out?
Tholme: I must admit, despite Jinn’s willful ignorance, I understand that mine could get banned, but he never mentioned it so I would like to know what he did.
Mace: Obi-Wan wrote a poem about a galaxy wide war that gave seventeen people True Visions and I had a shatterpoint migraine till last night. So for him it’s either me or him in that room and I’m the host so it’s me.
Qui-Gon: *taking a sheepish Obi-Wan into his arms for a pity cuddle cause that poem had led to like four straight days of council sessions and an enslaved Dathomiri child being found in a senator’s house on Naboo* To be fair. Obi-Wan had some good points.
Tholme: I’m scared to ask. What did mine do?
Mace: He didn’t write a poem so he went up to the mic and started licking it. It was the most disgusting noise I ever heard. If he gets near a mic I might have to drop kick him. Safer for him out here.
Tholme: *deep sigh of sadness* Yeah that sounds like something he’d do.
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in light of Tales of the Empire being released next month, I want to once again bring up the idea of Star Wars: What If.
What if Ahsoka was actually assigned to Obi Wan?
(the obvious) What if Anakin never turned to the Dark Side?
What if Padme had joined Anakin on Mustafar?
What if Qui Gon had survived Naboo?
What if Vader had survived the end of RotJ?
What if Obi Wan actually did leave the order for Satine?
What if Yoda was secretly working with the Sith the whole time?
WHAT IF FIVES HAD SUCCEEDED?
there’s so many possibilities
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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)
New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.
He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.
The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.
"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."
Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!
Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.
When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.
Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.
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The Fun In
The mood that night was sombre, as the Jedi Council, along with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker stood to watch Qui-Gon’s body on the pyre.
Tomorrow would be a night for celebration and triumph, with the entry of a Gungan army into Theed through invitation, and Naboo delivered from both long tension and recent peril through an alliance forged by the young queen.
But tonight, there were other things to discuss.
“Always two there are, no more, no less,” Yoda said. “A master, and an apprentice.”
“But which one was destroyed?” Mace asked. “The Master? Or the Apprentice?”
“Know that, we do not,” Yoda said. “The Master, we can hope. The Apprentice, we must assume.”
Made nodded, solemnly.
As he did, a few paces away, Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan.
“What will happen to me now?” he asked.
“I don’t see why it should be any different,” Qui-Gon assured him.
This came as quite a shock to everyone, and everyone present turned to stare.
Qui-Gon’s body was burning on the pyre. And Qui-Gon, looking a little blue and transparent but otherwise very much still Qui-Gon, stood companionably next to Anakin.
He gave them a little wave.
“...what, exactly, is going on?” Ki-Adi-Mundi said. “Master Qui-Gon? You’re… dead.”
“There is no death, there is the Force,” Qui-Gon quoted, smiling pleasantly. “Or, the version I’ve always preferred-”
“How did you do that?” Obi-Wan asked. “Master, how is this possible? I – I’m glad but – I held you as you died!”
“You did,” Qui-Gon concurred. “It was very nice of you. Though I do apologize for asking you to promise something that may be unnecessary.”
He frowned. “Hmm. Though I may have trouble teaching lightsaber skills. Do tell me, Obi-Wan – would you be willing to share?”
“Really, Master Qui-Gon?” Mace asked. “That’s not how things are normally done.”
“I don’t see why that should stop us,” Qui-Gon replied. “I’ve always been transparent about the fact that I see no purpose in tradition for the sake of tradition.”
“That is a terrible joke,” Plo Koon informed him.
“Yes, I’m quite proud of it,” Qui-Gon agreed, with a smile. “Technically speaking I’m made of heresy now, so what’s a little bit more?”
Yoda chuckled, which turned into a full-on laugh.
“Much to learn, we still have,” he said, with finality. “Your choice, this should be, young Skywalker.”
“Then… uh… is both really okay?” Anakin asked. “Because – I like Master Qui-Gon, and, I really want to know Obi-Wan as well.”
Yoda nodded.
“Very good,” he said, then turned to take in all the other Jedi. “Sad, you all still are? Dead, Master Qui-Gon is – but still here, he can be found! A celebration, there should be!”
“But, um-” Adi Gallia began, then shook her head. “...no, never mind.”
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