#masculine development

[arabella-s-arts]

Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.

The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.

That time when Dean wanted to say something and Cas was like, "It's okay, I heard your prayer." But Dean still looked like he wanted to say something important.

Amara: [about Dean] "I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except, it’s cloaked in shame.”

If you want to have a more expansive list, @destiel-is-real-idgaf added to this one quite nicely.

[catmask]

How do you make interesting male character designs, male fashion is so fucking boring and bad, and you seem to have a good sense of fashion, please help im suffering

two important tools you must remember:

1) there is no such thing as 'mens clothing' and 'women's clothing' theres just clothing and if you see something a lady is wearing and it looks good you dont have to say 'aww but a guy can't where that' yuuuup buddy you can. draw whatever and wear whatever you want forever. my wardrobe is completely mixed in terms of 'men's' and 'women's' clothing bc it's just MY clothing not anyone else's

2) pinterest

almost went on this entire rant about 'women's fashion is more expansive in part due to misogynistic double standards of appearance and men's fashion is only bad/boring because of years of being funneled through capitalism patriachal expectations of power homo/transphobia and racism' but if i do that people will start throwing rocks at me with the intention to kill and if i write multiple paragraphs of reflection on the false gender divide within fashion and the patriarchy and someone only reads 2 sentences to get mad at ill start blowing things up gotham city style

anyway these are the secrets to good mens fashion there is no brand that will save you there is no purchase that will save you utilmately you must study what you like blind to gender and then mix and match what you believe looks good. because i cannot just tell anyone 'this is fashionable' it is about going and finding what you specifically feel reflects yourself (or a character in this instance)

[blushcoloreddreams]

Why do men value female sweetness?

He already deals with testosterone all the time, with stress and tension... they are biologically prepared for conflict... The masculine man is dominant, strong and a provider...

He takes the lead because that's how he feels useful. He likes to provide and protect because it makes him feel needed. But no man feels like doing that for someone equal or stronger... Therefore, men look for something in women that they lack.

He is looking for a woman capable of bringing order, beauty and peace to his life. And when a man finds a woman like that... he goes to great lengths to win her over. And to live this there is no other way than to become more feminine...

The woman's sweetness nourishes the man. It is cultivated on a daily basis, it is not a technique that you use for convenience. People can tell when you're pretending, especially because it becomes that thing that's forced and not at all natural... no one can keep that mask on for long.

A sweet way only enchants when accompanied by loving gestures, a warm look and kind attitudes, what you do for others... That's why sweetness must come from within... it's the outside that reflects the inside - never the other way around.

If a woman only feeds on negative thoughts, it becomes much more difficult to be sweet, because that's not what she has within herself... there's no way to give someone else something that she doesn't even have within herself... you know? It's a natural process...

A woman can only be feminine and sweet when she dedicates herself to seeking the truth in her life, when she makes an effort to cultivate the virtues she needs and is able to authentically express all the beauty she has cultivated within herself.

[theambitiouswoman]

How to cleanse your body of negative energy 🪐✨

Meditate: Take a few minutes to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and just let go of all the junk cluttering your mind.

Move Your Body: The gym, pilates, yoga, a walk, or even dancing in your room, moving your body can lift your spirits.

Nature: Go outside! A walk in the park, a hike, or just sit by the water. The water has natural healing properties.

Be Present: Do things that make you focus on the now. Try deep breathing, write in a journal, or practice a hobby you enjoy.

Smudge It Out: Use sage or palo santo to cleanse your space and yourself.

Crystals: Keep crystals like black tourmaline or amethyst with you. They soak up negative energy and bring in the good stuff.

Sound Vibrations: Listen to 528Hz frequency music, chanting, or use singing bowls to create positive energy through sound.

Salt Bath: Take a bath with sea salt or Epsom salts to detox and relax. Drinking lots of water helps too!

Positive Self Talk: Say positive affirmations to yourself every day. It’s like reprogramming your brain to think happy thoughts.

Sleep: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. It’s super important for recharging your body and mind.

[soleminisanction]

So a while back I ran the numbers to confirm a suspicion that fandom trends towards a trans Tim Drake, and there's a lot of bits and pieces around his canon material that I think contributes to that interest. But there's a particular, subtle one that's been poking at my mind a lot because I think it might actually be a pretty significant factor that nobody really notices:

His costumes.

The original Robin costume, the one Dick and Jason wore, is childish but exposing. It's innocent enough when they're being drawn as spunky children, but during the period when Dick's still wearing it into his late teens and early 20s, it's practically as revealing as a lot of the women's costumes (and, in retrospect, almost certainly laid some of the groundwork for him sometimes being sexualized by the art and writing the way female characters normally are -- George Pérez, at least, absolutely put him on display every bit as much as he did Starfire and Donna).

Damian's costumes, meanwhile, lean more into archaic/fantasy armor designs and are thus largely genderless outside some vague allusions to the codename's Robin Hood roots. And Steph's is, well, a minidress, and one designed to show off her figure, drawing explicit attention to her femininity.

But then you have Tim's most iconic costume, his original one, which is not only fully covering in a way the original look isn't, it also, by virtue of being designed in the 90s, sports a very specific feature: molded body armor shaped to look like pectoral and abdominal muscles. In other words -- an idealized male body.

Not every artist always included that detail, but it was an explicit part of the design that you don't see as much these days, at least not for teen heroes. Which means it's inadvertently the perfect costume for a trans masculine Boy Wonder. It's got built-in body shaping. The cape and tunic layers even help to make his shoulders look wider.

Tim's second costume, the OYL later suit, doesn't explicitly have this body shaping element, but some artists still hint at it in the same way that Dick's Nightwing suits do (ie, we assume they're not showing off their real muscles with skintight suits for safety reasons, but who knows). Plus it comes with the bonus gay longing of changing the colors to mourn the dead crush he's too deep in the closet to recognize.

And then you've got his modern Robin look which has the same kind of shaping going on in a sleaker, more subtle way, though it can vary from artist to artist how much the red part of his suit is drawn as a breast plate vs. a part of the bodysuit.

As a bonus, the design also has a tendency to make him look lean and lithe, in an interesting contrast to Damian who, despite being physically smaller than Tim, tends to have a presence that makes him come across as stockier and more solid, possibly because he's more heavily armored.

You even see this with some of Tim'snon-Robin looks. I've mentioned this elsewhere but, the original Red Robin look making him look older when the cowl was up honestly makes a lot of sense. That suit was originally designed for a Dick Grayson who was pushing 60 to conceal the extent of his age while still communicating his maturity and development. It makes sense that it'd work the other way, to make 17 year old Tim look like he's in his late 20s/early 30s.

It's tunic over a body suit design is also just aesthetically pleasing in terms of forming an elegant male body type, the same way a well-cut suit can be. Again, it does especially nice things for the shoulders, which is why I personally prefer it to the fully bodysuit redesign they give him in the latter part of the series. Although as we can see from the details in Marcus To's art, even that body suit has seams strategically placed to suggest muscles.

And then of course there's the 2016 Rebirth era Red Robin costume, which is just a more heavily-armored version of his classic Robin look that's trying really hard to make him look masculine and mature, which means... exaggerated muscles.

And the thing is, it's not that this doesn't happen with other characters' costumes. But for various reasons it specifically didn't happen with the other Robin costumes, like I described at the start.

Which is not something I think people consciously notice. But I do know that, when I was writing my transmasc Tim fanfic a few years before realizing that I myself was also transmasc, one of the images that solidified the story for me was how good it would've felt the first time a transmasc Tim put on his new Robin costume and saw the Boy Wonder looking back at him. And I remember specifically thinking about how nice the shaped armor would be for that sort of thing.

It's kinda funny how an obvious attempt to enforce gender norms wound up, for lack of a better term, backfiring, at least in my opinion. There's just something about exaggerating the masculinity of Robin, a role designed to contrast and foil the already exaggerated masculine ideal of Batman, that makes it feel like a performance.

[death-of-cats]

the Lannister twins insisting to themselves that they are the same person in two bodies, Jaime and Cersei both thinking that they’d be each other if their genders were swapped, all this despite their very different personalities, the divergence invisible to each other but obvious from the outside. meanwhile Asha and Theon are basically the same person but don’t know each other well enough to realize it.

[moonshynecybin]

digging into the little avatars that some riders have.... all of them are so cute and representative of their riders... im only gonna talk about a few here but i might add more later !

vale: cartoony turtle. the first to do this as far as i can tell! originated from a toy turtle (i think a teenage mutant ninja turtle lmao) that his mom gave him as a kid that he mounted on his helmet. classiccccc vale, very ironic and tongue-in-cheek, tattooed on his body in the funniest place possible, and of course the joke relies on the audience knowing that he's the fastest dude in the room ! very in-character choices all

marc: fire ant. he said i am tiny. he said i am SMALL. he said i am fierce and strong for my size... not a classically fierce choice but nonetheless makes a lot of sense to me ! also very funny that the intial design for the ant was made by vale's helmet guy, though i think he's moved towards the sharper design in recent years post-divorce and the legal stuff with its image rights... fun post about marc choosing it as his mascot by @frongsonabike here (also a very deeply catalan choice, according to @babynflames !)

bez: scorpion !!!!! this man is undeniably keyed into astrology lmao. hes a scorpio and he LOVESSSS IT. absolutely fascinating implications for his character on that, considering scorpios are a sign that catches a lot of flack. like. he looked at a list of scorpio traits and said omg me fr i need to convert this into a branding opportunity...

cele. the WAVEEE literally iconic to me. fits him SO well imo. serene. immutable. undeniably and probably unintentionally hilarious when used as punctuation. my favorite of these in the graphic design sense and i love that he changed FUCK ALL about it design-wise when he moved to KTM. also very cute that the 13 on his bike looks like the bottom of a pool!

fabio. el diablo !!! very fun considering i think hes the biggest lover boy on the grid but hes also FASTTT so i get it, its baddass etc. i DO think he would prefer the devil emoji on instagram to be red but that has been cruelly denied from him by apple.

[opbackgrounds]

Oda sometimes presents a view on masculinity that I don’t agree with, but not crying isn’t part of it. Later on in the scene Usopp and Luffy both will be bawling their eyes out, and there’s no shame in it except for what Usopp places on himself, just like there’s no shame on the members of the crew who don’t cry. Perhaps this feeling is one of the reasons he feels like Usopp has to keep the mask on for now; that part of his character development isn’t complete.

[spiritchill]

[thessaralka]

when u realize every mean and nasty thing said about women (women will die alone w 4 cats if she doesn't settle for whatever lame ass broken loser proposes to her first and lower her standards, women fall in love too fast, women open their legs to any Chad that walks in the room and ignore the Good Man Who Just Happens To Be Ugglieee Right Next To Her, women are too emotional, women have shallow friendships women lose value as they age) is false for most women but very true for weak men ur eyes start to open and u become free.

bc only weak men who:

have to settle for whatever women MAYBE picks them bc they ain't shit and their standards are way too high compared to who they actually are as people,

can't control their emotions and fall in love w the first woman that glances at them,

try to have sex with any woman who he finds hot and gets offended when 1. she turns out to be batshit crazy and has major self esteem issues so she was using him as a validation toy or 2. her standards are higher than Him, and then blames her for her desires rather than working on himself to become a man who can match the kind of woman he says he wants (but doesn't want to work for, not realizing that a woman like that REQUIRES at BARE MINIMUM a man who busts his ass for her and dedicates his life to her well being)

have no emotional control because the realm of the emotions is forbidden to them by their pride and they haven't explored the Feminine aspects of their psyches

^ due to fear of losing bro points with equally immature loser bros who sit around trying to impress each other while flexing their muscles and circle jerking about how cool their cybertrucks are or whatever,

are definitely losing value as they age bc they don't work on themselves to become Grown Men and only place value on outer qualities not inner growth,

are spitting this shit about women.

and realizing this is how you raise your standards for men and the kind of men you surround yourself with. because you're not the kind of woman to hang out with crazy immature babymen. so why bother yourself with fools any longer?

[buckybarnesss]

it's no secret i am a mai stan so i think it's interesting choice that mai stepped in to stop azula from hurting the trainer and she was the one prodded at azula to talk while ty lee stepped in to placate azula.

the toxic girl group flashbacks that it's giving me.

[blushcoloreddreams]

A masculine man is different than an abusive man

The abusive men is the one that uses his strength and resources for his own benefit and in detriment of others well being.

The masculine man is the one that knows he’s capable of using his strength in a selfish way but chooses to use his potency to benefit others even if he has something to loose with it

For example the owner of a company could worry only about profits but chooses to be at service for people for a greater purpose

For example a husband that instead of demeaning his wife to make himself feel more powerful chooses to offer his best to her

A masculine man understand that he leads when he has the trust of others not when he subjugates and threatens them

One thing is having control, another is having respect

The abusive man rules through fear, the masculine man rules through admiration

We sometimes hear people saying that traditional gender roles breeds abusive men but this can’t be further from the truth. The truly abusive man is the one who’s aggressive and impose his presence through fear is not a true representation of the “patriarchy” - that is a violent and uncontrolled man that doesn’t even deserve the presence of a woman in his life. A man that is violent with his family should and deserves to be in jail

Our civilization got to where it is being conducted by strong and mature men that took care of their women and took their kids to the world so their offspring could expand. This is the true “patriarchy” and there is nothing wrong with it.

It’s just a man fulfilling his duty… providing, protecting and leading his family.

That is the masculine man, a man that acts according to his essence

[that-one-girls-blog-posts]

PICK A CRYSTAL, GET A READING 🔮 🪽 🧿

take a moment to choose

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1.goldstone 🌟

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ You chose the goldstone which stands for joy, abundance and personal development and right of the bat I feel like this is a huge subject for you right now.I pulled the 8 of cups and the page of wands which if you know the cards of the ethereal visions deck are both illustrated with characters holding these huge sticks and looking into the distance. It looks like they already took the first few steps of the long and hard journey ahead of them and are now at a point of taking a break to plan, overthink and almost reconsider their next steps. They might be waiting for the night to come or pass so they can continue safely which can feel a little stagnant but it's really a smart safety precaution. There is a little bit of a bitter taste to it since the 8 of cups is also interpreted as purposely leaving in the night to go unseen. Maybe you are not sure if you are taking this path because you know it's for the better or because you're trying to run or hide from something and you are scared to be perceived while possibly making a mistake.

The path ahead of you is pretty clear, you know which steps you should take next but that also means you can clearly see the challenges, rough stones and mountains you will have to face. Therefore this definitely is a situation where you need to properly plan what you're gonna do next, instead of blindly jumping in like I feel you would usually do(sometimes taking a leap of faith makes sense and can be very exciting) but in this section of your life it's part of an important lesson you're supposed to learn, to atleast have an idea of where you are going and why you want to be there.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.☝🏽Things seem to get a little overwhelming right now but I have no doubt you are taking the right steps and you are very much capable of handling the challenges thrown at you🤺

Though this is a situation you are rather new to, you feel confident in your position (props to you, many people would try to slow things down out of fear, but not you👏🏽) there still is a teenie tiny bit of self-doubt that I feel like you don't really want to acknowledge even exists, but it's a healthy amount, it's good to question things from time to time, even yourself, your knowledge and capabilities. Maybe this is something that you could consider in your next shaddowwork session or when journaling

Do I have the tendency to try and handle things on my own?

Is this habit safe for my current situation?

Which kind of subject do I maybe need to research more before taking my next steps?

I feel like this is a very unique path to the point where you struggle to find people who can help and understand you in this situation but please remember that you are never truly alone (believe me been there done that👨🏻‍🦲) and that you can always find some helpful words somewhere even if it's from people online or a quote from a book..... it's okay to ask for help or guidance, doing so is a sign of a healthy relationship with yourself, no one knows everything and it's good to ask for help before any serious damage might be done.

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the Spring which fits this "beginning of a new journey but haven't gotten very far yet" vibe very well. In spring, the seeds in nature have just begun to sprout, loads of them are still in the protection of the earth and need a little more support from sunshine, rain !!and time!! until they are ready to take the next step and show their face to the world. This also shows that you feeling stagnant is a natural state your current environment,which means you're not really missing out on anything right now, and the place you want to enter is also not yet ready for you, everything needs a little more time to get out of hibernation🦔

💋LOVE

I can't see much change regarding your love life in the near future, the stagnation is also showing it's affect here.You are really focused on the path ahead of you, because you recognize it's importance. Whatever is happening at the moment, this is lifechanging and who knows, might even bring you to the place in life where love is waiting just around the corner🤭

If you're in a relationship I feel like you and your partner are going through a phase where you also feel like there's not much happening but under the surface you are deepening your relationship to each other, maybe your communication recently got on a deeper level or you found a new side on the other person that you are exploring and getting to know and love, enjoy the moment🫶🏽

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2.aquamarin 🌊

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ you chose the aquamarine which is associated with calmness, intellectual and spiritual abilities as well as communication. I think there's a pretty big chance that you felt called to this stone because of the calming energy part, like it's something you really need right now. I'm getting the energy of a situation where you need a lot of strength, there's problems with communication, discussions and fights, maybe at home with people you are close to, very likely a romantic partner. BUT through this chaotic energy on the outside you have found a "new" resource inside yourself?!?!?!!! There is a quietness and stillness that you didn't know you had in you!🧘‍♀️

For you I pulled the 2 of cups in reversed and the star. The other person you're dealing with has very firey energy and I feel like you do too, might be astrological or just very strong temper. In the past you always had a very intense way of communicating with eachother, both of you wanted to stick with your point but somehow you always found a way to agree somewhere in the middle, lately this has gotten more difficult tho. There might be something like trustissues involved which are causing this sudden problem, anyways this other person is trying to open new doors with old keys and won't change their behavior during difficult moments, but you, you found a way of dealing with this in a very relaxed and laid back way! this is amazing! It's like your way to argue has matured! but it's important to say, please don't start going into the opposite direction now and let the other person walk all over you!! beeing the "bigger person" will not always be the best for you, a certain amount of selfrespect is needed. You now need to find a way of getting your point across without leaning too much in to one of the extremes. you're on a great journey of growth and I feel like you are also very proud of yourself and can recognize your change.🥹

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the raven which is very interesting since they are associated with occult wisdom, magic, the spiritual/the divine and growth which confirms the spiritual abilities aspect of the aquamarin. I feel like this new mysterious source of calmness you found within yourself is almost like a gift from the divine! or maybe your ancestors or your spirit guides, whatever you believe in (this feels like an energy which is comfortable in the shaddow as in remaining a secret or unknown/unseen, I think you might know who fits that description;)) They gave this to you and are guiding you through it! I feel like meditation might be an amazing tool for you right now to find the secret messages within the new found silence 🤍🪶

💋LOVE as mentioned earlier I feel like the struggles you are facing right now, might be with a romantic partner. I dont think there's something severly "toxic" going on and I don't think there's much doubt in the relationship or the in other person. You are someone who recognizes that noone is perfect and you can easily see the good in other people despite their flaws. You know you will work through this issue and everythung will be okay🤍(trust your gut on this, I can always be wrong, if you have any suspicion of danger coming from a person in your life, remember your safety and take action accordingly🙏🏽)

If you are not in a relationship there might be a crush, it can be very distant, who you are overthinking right, you saw a new side on them and now you're not sure anymore how to feel about them. Remember that you don't really owe crushes anything especially if you're not in contact so you are free to explore your feelings on your own and take as much time doing so as you need 💌

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3.smoky quarz🌫

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ you chose the smoky quartz which is great for manifestation and other spiritual work, wishes, protection and cleansing, which I think is really funny since the stone looks kind of polluted like there's smoke trapped inside of it and how do you clean with a dirty sponge yk?

Anyways, I feel like you are a very hard worker which so far has already paid off, whatever you are doing your great efforts are recognized. You might have a higher position at your job or you're something like the schoolpresident or the captain of your sports team( Congrats on whatever it is🏆). Being a leader Is a very sought after position but oftentimes the responsibility is much less glamorous than it looks on the outside, but as it looks in your life you are absolutely it slaying it!

For you I pulled the King of swords and the 10 of wands.You are very used to your position almost like a monarch or a nepobaby (love that for you👑) but you definitely give off the vibe of someone who was born into their fate, maybe you come from a family of teamcaptains or entrepreneurs?When you stepped into your place you never questioned it and immediately took the reins. You don't mind the hard work because you know how much responsibility you have and how many people are relying on you so you take the job very seriously.

Lately, I feel, you've been getting a little tired with carrying all this responsibility, I personally really understand the need for a control in a position like this and how hard it is to share the work with other people when it's you who is kind of representing everyone and everything. If someone fucks up the job, you're gonna have to pay for it so you much rather just do it all on your own and make sure it's perfect. This is an admirable trait but unfortunately not easy to sustain for a longer period of time. At some point the work will be too much for you to carry alone!!

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the path and I feel like yours right now is the journey of trying to find people you trust to take some of the weight off of your shoulders👯I think your situation requires a special way of support, you don't just need someone who will simply take some of the weight and carry it alongside with you but someone who instead helps you to push the the weight Step-by-step.

It's like when you get stuck with your car. You dont need someone to take out the interior so it's less weight to push😂 but a person who will get to the back next to you and push! Or like a president who doesn't want a vice president to actually take control but an assistant who will help organize everything🗂

It's a tricky situation and it's tricky to find someone like that but I feel like by going with the flow and allowing people, chances and opportunities for support to come into your life, you will find a unique solution that will not only make your life easier but protect you from a serious burnout! I see this process taking some time since your situation is so specific. There will be many offers of support that are just not right but by simply keeping your eyes open and allowing more ideas to come to you, you will find a way🩷

💋LOVE

I wonder whether or not I should even say something right here💀 You're a workaholic and there's simply other things in head right now than romance. If you're in a relationship things are stable and steady and will continue like this... If you are single don't expect much in the next few months, you are really on a self-development journey right now and there's not much space for other people and their problems in your life BUT If you crave love remember that you have to set priorities and in fact go out and get to know people to find that special someone. It's tragic I know but you got this #gaslightgatekeepgirlboss 💅

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⚜️dear audience⚜️ I hope you enjoyed this little session and it resonated with you, please remember that collective readings, due to their nature won't be as accurate as a personal reading and might not even be for you at all, so please, choose intuitivly, take what resonates and leave the rest🌟 feel free to share any feedback and your experience with the reading in the comments🤍 thank you

[ftm-radio]

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

[skiitter]

Feel insane trying to explain to people how emotionally moving the fucking Dungeon Crawler Carl series is, especially and specifically the audiobook version.

[jawz]

why do people who transitioned as full-on adults continue to speak on what they believe the laws should be regarding child/adolescent medical transition? like how fucking dense do you have to be to think it’s the same situation? if you didn’t MEDICALLY transition in that specific age range, when your mind is more amenable to any number of ideas about identity or personal philosophy (as you are still a child figuring yourself out) then you do not know what it’s like to have doctors more or less gaslighting you into pseudoscientific concepts that adults can understand more like metaphors…

this is the same way religion harms vulnerable young people when their brain’s capacity for weighing what is and is not realistic is just not developed and the real life experience has not yet been gained… you don’t understand metaphors and gender roles and playing pretend and facades yet… it’s all REAL to you at that age… i was told i had a MALE SOUL… trapped inside my inferior female body which needed to be FIXED in some way.

the older i get the more i realize that what a lot of adult transitioners are describing amounts more to deliberate aesthetic changes, which do create a higher level of comfort in the body and self-expression, this is why there seems to be a lower rate of regret for these types… versus gnc children who have not yet gotten past the age stage of cross-sex identification (which seems to be a common experience during the development of sexual identity for a pretty sizable cohort of the current generation of homosexuals who transition)… i think adult transitioners without childhood dysphoria have a better big-picture view of the changes they’re seeking, and it’s extremely unfair for them to pretend that youth who are attempting to convert themselves from gay boys to straight women or from butch lesbians to straight men are in the same mindset. i know i was not. it was religious for me. it was totally all-consuming.