#mans got a DUMPY

[jakexneytiri]

okay sooo this makes sense now

[gif created by the lovely @draiochtwrites !!]

why does jakes action figure have a dumpy i’m cryingg

[sandwhitches]

#artdump from the past couple of weeks. lots of concept art for my own fics (is that lame?) + some other stupid shit. bong warning below cut 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 BEWARE😱 also!!! the second one is inspired by the coanda effect by bunniehoney on ao3!! so good!!! uh but yeah these are all doodles i never finish anything sorry some of these are a little bit eh

[dollwritesarchive]

Pss, somebody told me Hal is canonically the 2nd best ass of DC. Pass it on.

he’s the 1st TBH

[jaredwormsboyslizardsquad]

the only time ive ever met someone who had the same amt of knowledge, skill, and insanity abt a video game as me was my physical therapist and the game was outer worlds. every other time was 'oh i play skyrim' but unfortunately my load order took 3 months to curate. or 'ong you play no mans sky??' but i was held at gunpoint by todd howard and stopped after i accidentally acquired a freighter trying to collect metal for the city i accidentally became mayor of.

[legendary-pink-dot]

Please, Mr Postman

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Rating: 18+ Explicit

Warnings: Unprotected PiV sex, butt play, creampie, oral (f receiving), and lots of sex toys. No ages mentioned or alluded to. Reader is married. There are themes of infidelity, blackmail and stalking, but Reader is fully consenting and willing. Mailman Joel is a sleaze, consider youself duly warned.

Word Count: 4.3K (by far the longest thing I've ever written, whew)

Summary: Every morning at 9am sharp, you take your coffee to the front room and listen for his mail truck.

Notes: Poking my nose out of my hiatus hidey-hole to write this as a gift for my very very dear friend @magpiepills for the prompt "Stole your mail and uses it to sexually blackmail you mailman Joel". I love you, my sweet Bat. 💜 Giant thanks to @for-a-longlongtime for the last-minute rapid beta read. Much love to my sluts for cheerleading: @youandmeand5bucks @exquisiteserotonin @arcanefox207 @sparklefarts38 @redhotkitchen I have never written Joel before, so please be kind. Thank you and enjoy.

Please, Mr Postman - Joel Miller x f!reader

Every morning at 9am sharp, you take your coffee to the front room and listen for his mail truck. The squeak of the rusted brake pads as he parks at the end of the block is a melody, as distinctive to you now as the chimes of the classic ice cream trucks from your childhood, eliciting a Pavlovian response of salivating over the treats it held within.

Life was easy and carefree at that age. You didn't have responsibilities, grown-up worries, or this present burden of being a Stepford wife to a rich man who occasionally did some illegal activities. He was kind to you and you loved him, desired him even, but despite being a criminal he was boring. He was not the adventurous, filthy man in bed you secretly hoped for. But you knew things about his work that made it dangerous to leave, and financially he made sure you were kept comfortable enough to not want to tell. So you stayed. And here you were, marooned in a leafy suburb, stuck at home all day and fantasizing about the hot new mailman. What a cliche you've become.

The mailman's name was Joel. And he really did command attention.

Salt and pepper hair that curled around the edge of his blue cap. Dark brown eyes that showed a few flecks of amber the rare times you've seen them up close. A strong nose with a neatly trimmed mustache and gorgeous facial scruff. Large hands that could football-hold an entire package in each.

And speaking of packages: his looked prodigious. It looked obscene what he was carrying around in those standard issue United States Postal Service shorts. You dreamed about it at night -- how thick his cock must be and how you'd lick it like those sweet summer popsicle treats -- as your husband snored beside you after giving you one pitiful orgasm and then immediately coming himself and falling asleep.

You never thought anyone could be attractive in such a dumpy grey uniform, but somehow Joel found a way.

In the summer heat he always rolled up the edges of his pleated shorts, a thick pocket chain clacking along his meaty thigh. Light hair dusted his tanned legs. His black leather belt was cinched tight, further emphasizing his delicious bulge. The sleeves of his polo shirt were similarly rolled and showed off well-toned forearms from all the lifting and carrying. In short: he was a dream.

But you'd never go further than look. You loved your husband, for all his faults. You'd even placed a big order of sex toys last week in the hopes he'd be willing to spice things up in the bedroom. The tracking app says it's out for delivery, and right on cue, Joel comes walking up your driveway cradling a large cardboard box in his hands. Damn, he looks good today.

"Mornin', ma'am," he drawls politely. You think he winks at you, or maybe it's just the sun hitting his eyes. "Got a big one for you today."

You move to take it, but he shakes his head. "It's heavy. Let me put it inside for ya."

The thought of him being inside your home makes you tingle. You don't even think to consider that postal workers aren't supposed to go past a customer's front step.

You hold the door open and Joel stomps through, leaving bootprints of dirt on your "Home Sweet Home" welcome mat.

"Ma'am? Where d'ya want it?" He sounds amused, and you realize with a start that he's been standing in your entranceway for an awkward length of time. You'd been too busy ogling his legs, and more, in those rolled-up shorts. Was it your imagination, or was he not wearing underwear?

"On the coffee table, please." You lead him to the sitting room beside the entranceway. It's your happy place, your sanctuary, the spot you have your morning coffee in as you listen for the siren song of his mail truck.

Joel gently places the box on the coffee table and turns to you.

"I'll just wait here while you check that everythin's in order."

"What… what do you mean?" You feel your cheeks heat. Fortunately the box was nondescript, but it did give off a brown paper wrapping porn vibe.

"It's insured for $700. Must be some expensive stuff. 'S my job to write a report if anything's broken."

Nervous sweat starts beading down your back. "It… it's okay… I can report online if there's a problem…"

"'S no trouble. Let's just take a quick peek." Joel's already pulled his keychain ceramic boxknife out of his shorts, slitting the box open before you can say a word.

You stand there mortified and unable to speak as Joel opens the flaps, pushes aside the cushioning packets, and stares at the huge assortment of boxed sex toys.

"Well, well, darlin'. What do we have here?" His voice is a mixture of amusement and something deep and growling. Predatory.

Your face burns in embarrassment. "You… you can go now," you manage to squeak. "Please."

"Don't think so, sweetheart. Gotta check that everythin's in good working order." His boxknife shicks open the first product, a G-spot vibe from the looks of the box. Just before he can unwrap it, you find your voice. You hope you sound self-assured and assertive.

"That's enough. Please leave. My husband will be home any minute."

Joel smirks as he continues to rifle through the box. "Naw. He won't. Just did my route on Pine Street and saw him gettin' busy with that blonde divorcee in the cul-de-sac. Miz Perkins, wasn't it? Big tits."

It's a gut punch, and it makes you forget that this suddenly skeezy mailman is in your home and looking at your new collection of sex toys. An affair? He wouldn't. Not YOUR husband. Not your husband who rarely wants to do anything interesting in bed…

"Sorry, darlin." Joel pulls you out of your thoughts. "Fuck that guy. Wanna have some fun?" He pulls the vibe out of the box and waves it in front of you with a lopsided smirk.

This is too much to deal with. Your head is spinning, a mixture of emotions running through you. Including lust, incredibly enough. This mailman appears to be the take-charge dominant you wish your husband was.

"No. Like I said, you can leave now." You manage to say it firmer this time despite the gushing between your thighs. "Just go."

"Think I'll stay," he says, crossing the space between you in one step and pushing you backwards onto the sofa. "Don't want me reporting your ol' man to the authorities, now do ya?"

"Wha… what?"

He chuckles at your comically large-eyed look of shock. "Yeah, know all about it. Been readin' yer mail," he says matter-of-factly. "He's shit at covering his tracks. Who sends fake invoices through the mail? With his real address too. Amazin' he hasn't been caught yet."

"You've been reading our mail?! I should report you!" Who is this guy?

Joel looms menacingly over your prone figure. You didn't dare move. "Sure, darlin. Postal employees got a responsibility to report crime. I'll be fine," he smiles, leaning back a little, but not enough for you to escape. "But the Postmaster General don't take too kindly to mail fraud, or those aidin' and abettin'. That's a felony."

"But it's not a felony for a mailman to read people's mail?"

"Tell you what," he drawls, still in that matter-of-fact tone that should be so very wrong in this situation. He rifles through the box and pulls out a hot pink butt plug, wiggling it at you. "You're gonna let me try out some of these toys on ya, and I won't report him."

Blackmail shouldn't turn you on, shouldn't turn anyone on, but it does. You're only human, and besides, you definitely don't want to go to prison. You can't control your reaction as your upper half shrinks back into the sofa while your lower half stretches out towards Joel, the hem of your sundress hiking up like it has a mind of its own. He gives you a wolfish grin and rests a broad, heavy hand on your knee.

"Jus' what I thought, sweetheart. Seen you watchin' me out the window every mornin'. You been wantin' me to stuff your pretty little mailslot, haven't ya?"

A whimper escapes your throat. "Yes. Please," you whisper, thighs sticky between your panties and suddenly aching.

"Okay, honey. Gonna start easy with this lil' thing." He holds up a clit sucker, shaped like a penguin with a little pink bow around its neck, and switches it on to test it. It springs into life immediately. "Ah, great. Love how companies pre-charge things now-a-days."

How can he be so conversational about this? Does he blackmail all the married women in the neighbourhood? Well, maybe just the ones who have something to hide. Like you. You silently thank the heavens for sending you an attractive skeeze, at least. And Joel is so very, very attractive.

You spread your legs for him.

He ruches your sundress up your thighs and whistles appreciatively, the sound going straight to your core. "No panties? And gushin' out of that tight little snatch already? Didn't take ya for such a filthy girl."

"It's… it's hot out," you stammer, unable to think straight.

"About to get hotter," he smirks again, and damn that attitude is doing things for you. "You ready, sweetheart?"

You nod, and he keeps eye contact as he nestles your clit into the little penguin's mouth and switches it on.

Your back arches and you nearly scream out loud.

The sensation is warm, and there's no direct contact but it's like your clit is being gently suckled. You've never felt anything like it. It's only been three seconds and your hips are already squirming to chase more.

His hand presses lightly on your hip to give you something to brace against as he clicks the intensity button up a couple notches, and it's like waves upon waves of the absolute perfect pressure on your clit. The buildup in your core is so fast that you don't even realize you're coming until it's almost over. You also hadn't noticed that you'd grabbed his muscled forearm and sunk your nails into it, leaving little half-moon indentations in his tanned skin.

"That was… wow." Your gasps echo around the quiet sitting room. Joel doesn't say a word, just reverently watches your pussy pulse and gush out a few drops of slick. "Thanks." You wish it had lasted longer and were sad it was over. Oh well, a nice memory for the next time you think about Joel, or try out some of these toys with your husband.

You start to push your sundress down, assuming he'll leave now and half-grateful for it, but he grabs your shoulder and forces you back down into the pillows.

"Where you off to? I'm just gettin' started with you, darlin'."

"But…."

"But nothin'. Ain't done till I say so."

All you can do is stare at him, unsure if you should be angry, turned on, or plotting an escape.

He undoes his leather belt and slowly, threateningly, slides it out through the loops on his uniform shorts. "Don't make me use this, sweetheart. Gonna be a good girl for me now, ain't ya?" The depth and tone of his voice say he isn't joking.

You gulp, still tingly from your rapid orgasm. And ready for another one, you think as you make eye contact with Joel, feeling a bit bolder now. We're here, I let him do that much already, might as well go for it.…

The penguin gets discarded as Joel carelessly tosses it to the carpet and takes the hot pink butt plug out of the box again, running a finger along the curve of its long but slim length. "Hmmm. Pretty. This for you, or your husband?"

"Uh… me…"

"Ah, ah" he tuts. "You really are a nasty girl. You take one of these before?"

You shake your head, suddenly shy. You hadn't even wanted your husband to know about the butt plug, thinking he was so sexless that he'd be disgusted. Apparently not, if he's railing Ms Perkins with the big tits over on Pine Street.

"S'okay. Gonna slide it in real good for ya." While you shove a little sofa pillow under your hips, Joel combs through the box on the coffee table and pulls out a bottle of lube. He pops the cap and drizzles some over the plug, and you gulp again imagining it inside your ass. A faint scent of synthetic vanilla fills the air and for some reason it calms you, allowing you to relax your muscles as Joel slides the plug along your crack, rubbing and smearing the lube around your asshole.

"You like that?"

You do. You really do.

Your little moan spurs him on and he gently presses the generously lubed tip of the plug against your hole, just the teensiest bit. You look up at his face, that stupidly attractive face of a skeezy mailman who is sexually blackmailing you, and find yourself desperately wanting to feel his scruff on your inner thighs.

Apparently he's a mind reader, too. He smiles and lowers his head to your crotch, and licks your clit with his wide tongue at the same moment he presses a bit more of the plug into your ass. You nearly scream for the second time in minutes.

"That's it, honey," he breathes against your core, wiggling the tip of the plug in and out and hitting nerves you didn't even know existed back there, making your hips jump involuntarily. "Openin' up so nice for me."

A few more mind-numbing, distracting licks of your clit and the plug slides all the way in with a little pop. You're equal parts turned on and proud.

"Well, ain't that a pretty sight," Joel whistles appreciatively. He pulls up to sit back and just stares at you all spread out on the sofa with one leg hiked over the back, your sundress balled up over your stomach. He taps the pink flared base of the plug a few times like he's idly flicking away a cigarette. It wiggles inside you and you squirm and squeal. Actually squeal. You're still mad and weirded out and other things, but you're feeling too good to give up now and you're starting to not care how easily you're caving to this man.

"Lessee what other treats we got in here." He rifles through the box again. His face falls into a comical droop of sadness and he sighs loudly, holding up a little box marked 'Girth Extender Sleeve'.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." The condescension in his voice shouldn't turn you on this much. "Yer old man got a tiny dick? Not fuckin' you proper? No wonder you been starin' at me every day, desperate for a real man."

Before you can protest -- he's not tiny, I just wanted to spice things up, well okay maybe he could use a bit of help -- he unzips his uniform shorts and pulls out his hard cock, holding it at the base so you can take a good look. "Got a special delivery for ya, baby."

Yeah, Joel definitely doesn't need any artificial enhancement.

His cock is thick. Not super long, but probably one of the thickest you've seen, outside the few porn films you watched when you were younger and more uninhibited. There's foreskin covering what looks like a large mushroom head, and a prominent pulsing vein running up one side. It all looks delicious, and you unconsciously lick your lips as he smirks at how you take it all in.

"You want it real bad, dontcha?" He fists himself a few times, his foreskin sliding on the downstroke to give you a peek at the thick head. "Yeah, you sure do. Never knew I had such a little slut livin' on my route."

Shuffling forward, he grabs your thighs and spreads them wider. The head of his cock feels impossibly heavy as he slaps it on your clit, making you gush a little with every hit.

"Joel, will you… can you lick me again for a bit?" Your squeaky voice is impossibly needy and pathetic.

"Naw," he says, flicking the base of the butt plug again and making your hips jump. The plug was so comfortable that you'd already forgotten it was in there. "Gotta finish my route. Can't talk to customers with my face smellin' of pussy, ya know. I'm representin' the United States Postal Service out there."

"Oh, does the USPS regularly fuck its customers too?"

"Sure does, darlin'. Bends 'em over and gives it to 'em hard with the price hikes every year."

He roughly pulls you up and bends you over the sofa arm, positioning you like the personal little fuckdoll you are for him.

"Got the next best thing though." He slips on a tiny purple fingertip vibe, your free gift from the toy company for such a large order. With such thick fingers, it looks like he's wearing an upside-down Ring Pop. It gives a loud rumble when he switches it on, and he laughs as he tugs his shorts down over his thighs. "Cheap ass shit. Hope the battery lasts. But it don't take you long anyway, right sweetheart?" He reaches around your hips, lifts your sundress and presses the vibe straight on your bare clit without any preamble, and your hips slam backwards into his crotch as you scream again, his cock jostling the base of the butt plug and sending shockwaves both up and down your core at the same time.

"Yeah. Thought so."

Amid the mixed sensations suddenly comes a new one: the thick head of his cock slipping into your cunt as he swirls the vibe around your clit, not letting it rest in any one spot long enough for your liking.

"… Wait! No condom?"

"Naw. You're on the pill, right?" He doesn't wait for your answer, as if he already knows.

Normally you don't enjoy this position but you're too far gone now, pushing your hips back and encouraging him deeper in, more than wet enough from all the playing to take him in.

"Greedy little slut, ain't ya?" He feeds you another inch, pauses, then another, torturously slow as you stretch around his thickness. "Tight little snatch feels so good. Miz Perkins with the big tits probably don't feel this sweet." Joel demeaning your husband like this and throwing the adultery in your face should make you mad -- at both of them -- but it only turns you on more, beads of sweat dripping down your spine as he slides all the way in to the hilt, giving you a few moments of grace to adjust to the size of him.

One strap falls down your shoulder, letting your tit pop out of your sundress and he palms it roughly, giving it an exploratory squeeze. The finger vibe is still buzzing and he swipes it across your nipple, the nubby texture chafing just before the point of pain. "Nice. You like that? Let's add somethin'."

Mentholated 'arousal balm' was another of your free gifts, and not something you'd ever thought to try. Joel twists open the little tin and dips the finger vibe in it.

"That smells strong, do we have to?" Wooziness hits you as the peppermint smell goes straight up your nostrils.

"Like I said, baby, gotta make sure everythin' works. Else I gotta do a return," chides Joel, tossing the tiny tin on the floor. You watch it roll under the baseboard heater as he grabs your hips roughly and repositions you. "Real fucking pain, returns. Lotsa paperwork."

He brings the now-mentholated finger vibe back to your clit, and two seconds later it feels like your entire pussy is on fire.

Thank goodness he didn't put any on my a--

Joel moves the base of the butt plug aside and presses the finger vibe against your asshole.

The menthol soaks into your tender membranes and it's so, so cold and hot at the same time. Your brain melts along with it.

Everything is lit up now and you squirm as he slides his hardness back into your pussy and gives a few experimental thrusts. "Tight fuckin' snatch," he mutters, your walls clenching around him in time with his finger flicking at the plug, your entire lower half burning but not in a terrible way. "But could be tighter." He suddenly pulls his cock out and you whine, loudly and needily.

"Please, Joel."

"Please what, darlin'?"

"Put… put it back in? Please."

"All in good time. Gotta give those walls an extra little stamp."

You look over your shoulder to see him drizzling lube into the girth sleeve and slipping it onto his cock. He's already so thick that it's a tight fit, the soft tube slipping off a couple times before he finally stretches it enough so it can slide all the way on, pulling it down so his large head pokes out of the top. You clench involuntarily.

"Umm. That's not gonna fit."

"Sure it will, honey," he drawls. "Didn't think you could take that pretty little pink plug, right? And look at ya now."

He's got a point.

"Gonna stuff that little slot full to the brim and turn ya into a size queen. Open wide, baby."

He's merciless as he slides back inside, at a curved angle since you're turned slightly to brace both your hands against the back of the sofa. The extender is smooth and feels just like his skin, and you're powerless to resist the incredible feeling of the extra width. He was exactly right: you felt full. With the thick pressure in your cunt pushing against the plug in your ass, you felt more stuffed than you ever had in your life, and what's more your pussy is still burning from the menthol balm. It was overwhelming but also glorious. In that second you knew it would be impossible not to think of Joel next time your husband fucked you, even if he wore this toy. Stupid sexy blackmailing mailman.

Baby animals had more stability in their legs than you do right now, your thighs spasming uncontrollably as Joel palms the vibe around your clit while holding almost half your waist in the span of his other large paw. He fucks into you hard from behind until you're so close to coming you can taste it. With the extender, his cock is hitting spots inside you that you didn't even know you had. A heavy chain pops out of the neck of his polo shirt and hits your nape with a loud clank as he slams into you from behind, the cheap poly-rayon blend of his polo shirt chafing your shoulders in a delicious burn as his chest presses close against your back and his hips smack against your ass, jostling the butt plug with every thrust.

whirrrrrr goes the finger vibe as the tiny cheap battery dies, and he slaps your clit hard with the vibe one, two, three times and you come, yelling for the nth time since he left his bootprints on your welcome mat that morning. His grunts are loud and lewd as he fucks you through it, easing up only to make his thrusts shallower so he can reach a hand between you and gently pull out the butt plug with a little 'pop'. He tosses it and the finger vibe onto your pristine off-white carpet, not even bothering to aim for the opened box on the coffee table.

"So fuckin' tight," he wheezes hoarsely, "I gotta extra big load for ya," and he presses his hips so hard against your ass that you almost fall over the sofa arm, his voice faltering as he groans and you feel hot spurts of his come coating the inside of your pussy, as deep as he can put it.

You slump forward onto the sofa and he pulls out, both of you heaving. The fiery balm has mellowed to a gentle tingle and your core is pleasantly warm. Stretched out. Fucked out.

"Welp, gotta get back to my route." It's been only a minute and his matter-of-fact conversational tone has already returned. You peer over your shoulder and watch him pull his shorts back on, rolling up the hems and slicking his belt back into the loops, tucking his polo shirt back in with practiced efficiency.

"Will I see you again?" You hate how pathetic you sound, and you must be a real sight too, half naked with a sweaty rolled-up sundress stuck to your back, your ass still up in the air like you're waiting for him to stick it right back in and rail you again immediately.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be seein' each other again real soon," he says smoothly.

As you stand up, knees a little weak, a drop of cum drips down your thighs. "Glad I'm on the pill," you mutter to yourself as you pat down your wrinkled sundress and pause at the mess of packaging and boxes littering your sitting room.

"About that, darlin'." Joel smiles, pausing by your front door. "Miz Perkins over on Pine Street orders sugar pills and well, you know, packages get mixed up sometimes on the route. Might wanna check you got the right pills."

Joel slams the door and the mail slot squeaks rhythmically as you stand there, horrified, listening to him whistle a jaunty tune as he walks down your driveway and back to his mail route.

[unusualtfs]

Mr. Entwistle

truly blown away by the incredible response to my first story! hope you enjoy this one as well — it's the first of many age progressions to come!

A little voice in Daniel’s head whispered that he really shouldn’t be doing this, but he ignored it as he lifted his twinkish frame over the fence into Mr. Entwistle’s backyard. So what if this was technically breaking and entering? Really, Mr. Entwistle had started it.

The situation was this: Growing up, Daniel had been neighbors with a sweet old lady named Mrs. Owens. She made the best cookies and instantly charmed everyone she met, but most importantly, she had a pool in her backyard — and everyone was invited to use it. The neighborhood children eagerly took advantage of this arrangement, Daniel most of all. He took to it like a duck to water, spending hours perfecting his form, and his hard work paid off when he was offered a scholarship to compete for his university’s swim team. Suffice it to say, the property may have been Mrs Owens’, but everybody knew the pool really belonged to Daniel.

So imagine his dismay when he returned home from his first year in college only to find the pool had been walled off, sealed away in plastic and plexiglass. Apparently, Mrs. Owens had moved to be closer to her grandkids — and her replacement was her polar opposite in every way. 

Mr. Entwistle was a middle-aged man who never seemed to smile. He was tall and broad, but not notably so, and in any case his dad bod was invariably obscured by his business-casual uniform of a dumpy dress shirt and drab khakis. Combined with his rapidly thinning auburn hair and his just-starting-to-gray beard, it all added up to make him the epitome of middle-aged male mediocrity. The only noteworthy thing about his appearance was that Daniel could have sworn he had spotted a wedding ring on his finger. But if the man had a wife, Daniel had never seen her.

In terms of Mr Entwistle’s personality, there wasn’t much to speak of. He was cold and taciturn, gazing at everyone with a vaguely disapproving look in his eyes. This was reflected in his daily routine, which consisted of him exiting the house at 8 on the dot, driving to wherever it was he worked, returning at 6, and disappearing until the cycle repeated itself the next morning. Insultingly, at no point in this schedule did he even use the pool — it just sat there in its cage, its chlorinated waters placid and lonely. But on the flip side, Mr. Entwistle’s rigid routine made it trivial for Daniel to plan his little heist.

It was currently 10 in the morning, which meant Mr. Entwistle was at work and wouldn’t be home for hours. And Daniel planned to spend each and every one of those hours swimming in the pool that was rightfully his. Not wanting to delay, he stripped down to his baggy green swim trunks, revealing his pasty, lanky, and hairless body. He quickly snapped a cheeky selfie to commemorate his audacity.

He could already feel his pale skin beginning to burn in the sweltering summer sun, so without further ado, he dove into the pool with perfect form, leaving behind only the faintest ripple.

The water was cool and refreshing, and for a moment, Daniel allowed himself to just tread water as he basked in the sensation. But it wasn’t just the feeling of the pool water lapping against his skin that excited him — it was also the thought that he was reclaiming his property, his territory, from that interloper Mr. Entwistle. His cock briefly rose to its underwhelming length of 4 inches at that rebellious idea, but his swim trunks were so baggy that they entirely concealed his boner. Well, it didn’t matter — he had better things to do in this pool.

Once his erection had receded, Daniel got started on his training regimen, doing laps around the pool until his entire body tired. At that point, he allowed himself to mindlessly float on the surface until he felt rejuvenated enough to continue. But even when he was exhausted, his face displayed a wide, genuine grin — it felt good to be back in this pool. It was somewhere he truly felt at home. 

Occasionally, he paused his training to swim to the deck and check the time on his phone, wanting to give himself plenty of time to leave. Right now, it was 1:33, which should have given him plenty more hours of pool time. The key phrase was should have, because at that moment, Daniel heard the telltale rumble of Mr. Entwistle’s car pulling up in the driveway.

Oh shit, Daniel thought. That’s not good. You see, there was one unexpected variable in Mr. Entwistle’s schedule. On certain days, he came home from work in the early afternoon — and when that happened, rather than entering the house through the front door, he liked to go through the gate to the backyard and relax by the poolside. These short days at work seemed to follow no rhyme or reason that Daniel could perceive, but Mr. Entwistle had just had one the previous day, so Daniel had assumed it wouldn’t be an issue. Evidently, he’d assumed wrong.

Panic set in as Daniel realized he had just seconds to escape before Mr. Entwistle arrived to witness his trespassing. That panic soon became despair as his eyes darted between his phone and his scattered clothes, forced to admit that he’d never make it out in time. As he heard the car door slam shut and Mr. Entwistle’s heavy footsteps trudge toward the backyard gate, Daniel grew desperate. And in his desperation, he did the one thing he could think of — he took a deep breath and dove underwater, praying that its turquoise hue would hide him from view.

Through the muddled underwater light, Daniel watched, terrified, as his neighbor’s silhouette walked down the pool deck. A few seconds passed, and he gave a mental sigh of relief. It seemed Mr. Entwistle somehow didn’t notice either Daniel or his belongings strewn across the patio. Of course, from his submerged vantage point, Daniel had no way of noticing his clothes and his phone fading into nothingness above him.

Mr. Entwistle remained up there for a minute, then another. Daniel was quite strong at holding his breath, but he couldn’t keep at it forever, and he was quickly reaching his limit. Just when Daniel thought he would be forced to abandon his hiding spot, a miracle happened — Mr. Entwistle got up and went inside, probably to use the bathroom.

As soon as Mr. Entwistle was out of sight, Daniel rushed to the surface, his lungs burning. But rather than emerging into the bright sunlight, he instead felt his head hit something solid with a muted thunk! Alarmed, he reached his hands out and found them unable to breach the line between the water and the air. There was some kind of invisible barrier covering the pool, preventing him from surfacing! He banged on it, pushed against it with all his might, but it was no use. He was trapped.

Now Daniel was in full panic mode. He was about to drown! Was this his punishment for breaking into his neighbor’s property? He tried to conserve his remaining air for as long as possible, but he only lasted a minute more. With his air depleted and his time up, he inhaled.

Surprisingly, he didn’t die. In fact, it was as if he could breathe underwater. Although he could feel the pool water entering his lungs, it was a rather pleasant feeling, filling his chest with pleasurable warmth. He didn’t notice that this wasn’t all that was happening to his chest. As he greedily inhaled more and more water, his torso rapidly inflated, bulging with muscle. His previously flat chest grew into two balloon-like pecs, and he developed chiseled abs far more prominent than anything his lithe swimmer’s build had previously allowed. His back grew, too, developing an immaculate triangle shape that any man would kill for.

Daniel now had the torso of an Adonis, which looked quite strange in tandem with the rest of his skinny body. But he wasn’t quite done yet. One last gulp of water caused a layer of fat to grow over his muscular middle, thickening him up while doing nothing to hide the strength that lay underneath. It was a shame that such an impressive body had no hair to accompany it, but that soon changed as Daniel felt pins and needles erupt across his torso. Black hair erupted everywhere the sensation appeared, and soon his chest, stomach, and back were covered by a carpet of the stuff — a vast improvement over his previous hairlessness.

Its work done in that region, the lovely warmth moved out to his appendages, where the process repeated. First he gained bodybuilder levels of muscle — biceps, triceps, quads — and then an additional layer of padding and hair to complete the package. As an extra perk, a tattoo appeared on his left shoulder, a simple, masculine thing that would have looked out of place on the man he had been but fit perfectly on the man he was becoming.

From there, the warmth migrated to his extremities, turning his delicate and skinny hands and feet into meaty and calloused bludgeons. His fingernails and toenails, one perfectly groomed, became cracked and weathered. His feet also grew tremendously, exploding into a monstrous size 15.

Next was his head. As the pleasant warmth traveled up his neck, Daniel’s vocal folds thickened, dropping his voice from a youthful tenor to a rumbling bass. He felt a satisfying cracking sensation as his facial features shifted. His nose became squatter, his brow became much more prominent, and his sharp chin became wider and rounder. Every part of his face did, actually, as it grew fatter, making it difficult to tell when his neck ended and his head began. 

His face sagged a little as it became weathered and slightly wrinkled, as did the rest of his body. Daniel now appeared to be well into middle age, a far cry from his former self. Adding to that impression was the fact that all the hair atop his head was beginning to fall out, floating freely in the water before vanishing entirely. Soon his head was entirely bald, proudly exposing his smooth, shiny scalp to the world forevermore. As if to counterbalance that, he rapidly grew a well-groomed goatee, surrounding his mouth with a thick circle of hair.

The warm water centralized in Daniel’s brain, rendering him in a state of total, blissful calm. At some point in the process, he noticed all that was happening to him, but it was so relaxing and so pleasurable that he couldn’t bring himself to care. So he didn’t question it as thoughts and truths started rearranging in his head. The burgeoning knowledge and potential he had gained in his first year of college drained away, permanently slowing his brain to a sluggish crawl. He was dumb, and he didn’t care. In place of intelligence, more important skills entered his head, and suddenly he was an expert at bodybuilding and auto mechanics. That’s what he was now, an auto mechanic, although he hated to get dirty. No, wait, that wasn’t right, he realized. While Daniel the young swimmer couldn’t stand dirt and grime, Daniel the middle-aged mechanic couldn’t get enough of the feeling of sweat and engine grease on his body. That was just one facet of the cockier, manlier personality he was developing. Ironically, the new him wasn’t even all that into swimming, except as a means to cool off or show off his hot bod.

At this point, anyone who looked at this burly bear of a man would have no inkling of the weak little twink he used to be. There was just one incongruity left — his cock. His previously baggy swim trunks were now skin tight against his tree trunk thighs, exposing his 4-incher to the world. But a man like Daniel wasn’t meant to have such a glaring weak point, so the warmth rushed down to his penis, bringing with it all his memories and traits from his old life. They filled his balls, inflating them twofold, and aroused him like nothing he’d felt before. In the midst of the pleasure, his cock suddenly went soft, but it remained the same length — and then it hardened again, doubling to a monumental 8 inches that strained against his trunks. The trunks themselves shrunk into a black Speedo that left nothing to the imagination, making his cock even more prominent.

The arousal was so great that Daniel immediately found himself jacking off, moaning every time his fingers brushed his sensitive manhood. However, something within Daniel prevented him from going all the way. Deep down, he knew that if he allowed himself to give in to the pleasure, he would lose everything that made him, him. So slowly, reluctantly, he separated his meaty hands from his throbbing erection.

But then a face appeared in his mind’s eye — Mr. Entwistle’s. No, his name is Scott, his mind corrected. And Daniel realized how wrong he had been to dismiss him as mediocre before, because Scott was truly the hottest man he had ever seen. Everything about him, from his receding hairline to his curly beard to his perfectly proportioned dad bod, got Daniel going like nothing else. More information about Scott entered Daniel’s head, information he should have had no way of knowing, but through his newfound adoration for the man he didn’t question any of it. It was just a fact of life that he loved Scott’s hairy body (not nearly as hairy as Daniel’s, obviously), and his work ethic, and his sharp intelligence, and the way he was really a big softie underneath that stern demeanor, and of course the hot and raunchy sex he had with him. Really, he loved everything about Scott Entwistle, his husband, and that epiphany was enough for him to climax, releasing his old self into his Speedo without even touching his prodigious cock.

The force of his orgasm physically propelled him upward, breaking the invisible barrier and allowing him to breach the surface as his new, better self — Dan Entwistle. 

Blinking to adjust to the afternoon light, Dan was faced with a welcome sight: Scott, his beautiful husband, lounging in a pool chair in nothing but trunks, his massive pouch clearly visible and ready for action.

Scott greeted him with a wry expression and a peace sign — his husband was a man of few words.

“Someone’s home early,” Dan said, relishing the sound of his sexy, masculine gravel. Not that his voice had ever been anything else.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Scott said in his sensual baritone.

“Well, Mr. Entwistle,” Dan replied, “consider me surprised.” Dan noticed Scott’s 7-inch sausage perking up at that. After all, Entwistle was Dan’s surname, which Scott had adopted after their wedding. To be called “Mr. Entwistle” was a reminder of their love — and a massive turn-on.

Knowing his horny husband was like putty in his hands, Dan stepped out of the water, fully revealing his godlike body — and giving Scott a full view of his bulge within his Speedo.

“I think that you deserve a reward for surprising me,” Dan said, feeling himself begin to chub up even though he’d just come minutes prior. “And this Speedo ain’t gonna hold much longer.” He winked, causing Scott to shiver. “Why don’t you hop in the pool with me and see how else you can surprise me?”

Scott licked his lips, clearly into it. “But babe… what if the neighbors see?”

“Oh, Mr. Entwistle…” Dan said. “That’s what this fence is for.” And he fell back in the water with a mighty splash, knowing his husband would follow.

[meowzfordayz]

I can't stop thinking abt this and I NEED to tell someone abt it, I'm cackling so bad XDD:

Akaza, Muzan, Kyo and Tengen when their S/o SLAPS. THEIR. ASS. HARD with no warning, like, not even in a sexy way, they just stared at their booty, got a brain fart and did it XDDD

LMAO. 😆💀 Ty for this gem. 💎😂

Author's Note: originally intended for these to only be, like, a sentence long. 😆

when you slap their ass — akaza, enmu, muzan, kyojuro, tengen

Akaza x Reader, Enmu x Reader, Muzan x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~400

CW: dark humor, mild sexual content

~faqs~

AKAZA

confused 🤨🤨🤨

Cheeks? Clenched 😳

Lowkey blushing 🤭

Would def shoot you a warning scowl if you did it in public 😒

Akaza’s only a lil shy 🫠

But in private?

11/10 he’s chasing you until he’s gotten revenge

Revenge = Your Ass in His Hands 🤠

For gentle kneading, ofc 😌🍞

ENMU

LOVES IT 🥴

Teehee Hee vibes, y'know? 🤠

"Oh darling, I didn't know you had it in you!" 😍

Meanwhile you're just fed up w/ him 😐

"You weren't supposed to like it."

"Oh but I did." 😜

*facepalm*

You might have to try using a spray bottle next

Bc apparently someone likes spanking a lil too much 😒

MUZAN

Don’t mind me

But my first thought?

Assuming you’re a demon, Muzan’s 100% slicing away your hands 😬

Dw, they regenerate in like, 5 secs 😅

And yanno… the fact that he just bashfully sliced off your hands vs straight up k*lling you? 🧐

… I’d say he liked it 😏

Not that he’d ever admit it

“Do NOT slap my ass again.” 👿

Please slap my ass again 😭

Another confused man 🙃

“Sweetheart… did I, anger you?” 🥺

Tell him, “No Kyo, but your ass is so FAT.” 😖🤗

And he’s likely to malfunction 😃

“My… ass?” 🥺

“How do you even slay demons w/ that thing ?????”

And then, out of nowhere, he’s like, “I sit on them and suffocate them w/ my huge dumpy.” 😇

Actually tho, he’d prob laugh (he’s still confused lol, but a good sport ☺️), totally blushing as he murmurs, “Well if you like it so much, then I suppose it is all yours.”

#what a gentleman ❤️‍🔥

Uhh

This man does NOT need his ego inflated any further 😎

But go ahead 🤪

“How flashy of you!” he gasps, “But I bet I can get a better sound smacking yours.” 🥰

And then he’s lovingly bending you over his knee and smacking your ass

“Hmm, you hear how lovely that sounds?”

Does it turn into an ass smacking competition?

Yeah

Nothing like getting to bend him over your knee next 😉

[queenendless]

Chubby Goodness

A/n: Chubby fat Geto does something to me now, I swear. I have a soft spot for Geto cause of S2 of course so that helps. Another spur of the moment piece, yas indeed.

Chubby!Sub!Geto x Dom!GN!Reader. SFW and 🔞 content inside.

NO REPOSTING, COPYING, EDITING. Like, reblog and follow if you enjoy. Thnx u!

Kneading the fatty plushness of his belly flaps had you ogling his velvety mushy skin. Your eyes welled up with sparkling wonder at how he looks so freaking cute. Caressing and playing with his face cheeks made seeing his bashful blushing face all worth it.

Brushing his back length inky strands got you spotting his pink cheeked smiling self twiddling his sleeve covered hands in the mirrors reflection while waiting for you to finish compelled you to braid his locks like a Rapunzel do before taking his face in your hands to lather lipstick marks all over his beet red self; borrowing the makeup from his stash.

Watching his robed, socked, sandal wearing-self waddling here and there throughout his temple with adoration. Seeing Mimiko and Nanako cuddling either side of Geto as they lounge and nibble on sweets as Geto's lips and cheeks are smeared with sugary goodness tempted you to lick off such said goodness. And you did. To the twins amusement and to his flushed embarrassment.

Whether dressed in his robes, regular clothes, or even cross dressing, seeing his radiance stretch out his attire to the point where skin peaked out had you pining hard. Skimpy tops and shorts especially just to ogle his back rolls and big fat dumpy jiggling as his hefty hips swayed to and fro.

And the lingerie. FUCK the lingerie. Definitely the see through, bra and thong combo. The fact he willingly lets you dolly him up and you get to watch while seated down as he swayed, sashayed and spun about while modeling got your heart racing and your core pulsating. Wiggling his plump giant ass in your face gets you. Every. TIME! Yep, your phat angel is getting railed for this.

Stripping him of his clothing left him rosy cheeked and shy as his tubby glory laid bare beneath you. Fondling his pecs turned breasts always had him moaning like the sensitive, needy man that he has become. Stroking his hanging jugs and sucking on those utters just to watch with lidded eyes at his squeezed eyed, mewling expression. Peppering bite marks and bruised sucks all over his drooled layered mounds and nipples brought a sharp toothed smile to your face.

Nuzzling your face into that smooth bulging tum tum made him jiggle with giggles. Wringing your paws into his jelly belly had him laughing and shaking his meaty arms. Raspberry blowing in his roundness had his tubby thighs nearly hitting you in the process to get you off, kicking to accentuate his high-pitched squealing. And so, straddling his stretch marked hips, you pinched and wriggling into those plump thighs and calves had him cackling unhinged. Yet you knew deep down he enjoyed these ler and lee bouts amiss the sex as much as you do.

Finally satiating your tickle need for now, you spun around to properly ride him. It always brought you two to tears of unbridled amor. Your hands clawed into his stretch marked hips for support as his meaty hands hook into your hips. Seeing that sweat sheen shine to your beloved Suguru's round swelling beauty made you gushing to his endowed relief. His throbbing burning staff always filled you to the brim in your gooey tight grip. Bopping up and down his shaft had him cumming at least a dozen times in you as you came all over his abdomen.

You always doted on your chubby hubby, pulling out of him, and rolling him onto his plush cum coated belly, as his sausage fingers and toes curl into the tainted sheets while you ate him out between his ginormous stretch marked peaches. His cacophony of swears and carnal whines had you teething and marking every inch of those hills. Seeing his heaving red cheeked face had you brushing aside the strands stuck to his face, being his big spoon, following his already exhausted self in deep sleep.

Giving him butterfly kisses in the morning gets him tiredly smiling as it stirs him awake. Prepping the bathwaters for a gentle warmth to contrast the cool early sunrise, you helped him into the massive tub, watching him settle in lax enjoyment, before joining him. The next half hour left you two pruny but melded into one as you cuddled your round cutie baby.

Most of all, your smug smirk always grows whenever you cross paths with that certain sorcerer, eyeing Gojo's strewn lipped expression at you being the one carrying his ex bestie turned your chubby cultist lover in your literal cursed fueled arms yourself. Not him. Him waving and teasingly calling out Satoru in that light elated tone only made you huff in envy before bolting you two away, leaving your curse user allies and sorcerer foes in your dust, as every time your Sugu reacts to your one and only competition ergo Toru, you feel the need to remind your man who he belongs to. He knew what he was doing. Just for this exact end result. You two stayed in your shared private room in the temple the rest of the day.

Conclusion? A chubby Suguru Geto is a whole new kind of addiction. One you could never forget.

[pignipplez]

-I found him-

✨ Poolverine/Deadclaws fic ✨

Logan sat on the foot of the bed lightly grasping the pasty yellow comforter beneath him. His face redding by the second. Shallow breaths left him as he watched the bathroom door, listening for any movements coming from inside. Logan’s heart pounded rapidly as he anxiously, impatiently tapped his feet against the carpeted floor.

The suspense was killing him.

Finally the sound of the shower running stopped, steam suddenly filling the bedroom as a tall lean man in a towel walked out. A toothbrush rested in his mouth as he gave Logan a little wave, then turned to open the closet drawer, scrounging through to find something to clothe himself with.

Logan studied his roommate's body intensely, his scared and mangled skin gleaning with water and steam. Wolverine’s claws slid out piercing into the blanketed bed in desire. Logan’s mind began to wander, as his claws tangled with the mattress springs. Letting out a sigh of pleasure at his fantasies on accident.

Logan’s half dressed companion slowly turned around with a smirk on his face. Making Logan swallow loudly.

He had heard him.

“Awe is the little kitty in heat?” Wade asked, tilting his head slightly and pouting his lip in an innocent way slowly walking up to Wolverine.

Stopping a few inches away from his face Wade lightly grazed Logan’s thigh causing Logan to bite his lip.

Touching his lips to his ear, Deadpool softly purred, “You want me to breed you, Honey Badger?”.

Suddenly Logan unsheathed his claws from the bed and into Wade earning an “oomph” from him as he hit the wall.

“Fucking asshole,” Wolverine sneered underneath his breath, standing up to look down at Deadpool.

“Ooo degradation, me likey, likely,” Wade replied, blowing out one of Logan’s legs with his heel causing Logan to hit the floor.

Quickly grabbing a dagger from the dresser above Deadpool roughly stabbed Wolverine in the thigh using the dagger handle to drag them closer in vicinity. Logan loudly growled in pain, punching Wade across the face then pulling the dagger from his thigh and jabbing it up into Wade’s rib cage.

They now sat panting only inches away from each other's faces, both of their breathing heavy and unbalanced. Logan pulled the dagger out slowly making intense eye contact with Wade then shoved the weapon into the drywall they sat propped up on.

Wade, the toothbrush still in his mouth, spat it out onto Logan’s lap, licking his lips tauntingly while doing so. Logan got up on his knees letting the brush fall to the floor, spit flying in the air.

“They made you out to be a bottom in the comics so let’s see if you're canon or fanon bub,” Wolverine grinned mischievously, unbuckling his belt and pulling his dark washed jeans down to his ankles.

“Who gave you permission to 4th wall break, Peanut,” Deadpool smiled back grabbing Logan’s left shoulder and lightly wrapping his legs around Wolverine’s waist, “Just cuz every relationship I’ve had has been me getting booty fucked doesn’t mean I’m incapable of taking you to pound town buddy,”.

Logan laughed wildly at both the thought of Wade being capable of topping and also the overwhelming amount of urge in his body that hoped Wade was genuinely serious about this so-called “pound town” he wanted to take him too.

They made eye contact, both grinning at each other smugly. A hand then cupped Wolverine’s buttcheek

finally setting both over the edge. Forcing all of the sexual tension built up from the room Wade and Logan met each other's lips strongly, allowing boths tongues to glide and search their mouths.

With warm breath Logan brought his mouth down to Wade’s neck prickling the still semi wet mercenary cold skin with sweet kisses and pecks. Wade, still cupping Wolverine’s dumpy, used his other hand to grip Logan’s hair, shivering every time as his soft but somehow still chapped lips met Wade’s neck.

Logan grinded into Wade’s hips, both of them ultra hard. Deadpool whined softly as he uncupped Wolverine’s asscheek forcing his hands onto Logan’s hips motioning him faster and harder on their crotches.

Logan kept on Wade’s neck, hardly nipping his skin with his teeth trying to draw blood without Wade knowing.

“Hey don’t worry, the immortality makes the stds go away just in case you didn’t want to have to tell the fam the reason your passing is cuz of my raging gonorrhea and aids,” Deadpool laughed out awkwardly breaking the heat filled silence, still roughly rotating his lower body into Wolverine’s.

“You don’t fuck with suspense or what pretty boy, you wanna get straight to the hard core fucky don’t you,” Logan hummed knowing that what he was doing was probably the worse thing Wade has ever had to experience, slow burn sex.

“Never really done this lovey dovey kinda shit before, also your just really fucking smoking Wolvie and if you don’t get inside me soon I think I might rat you out to the authorities with 3 pounds of cocaine, and a maxi pad filled with dog sperm, if you can’t get inside me the only thing your getting inside is Alcatraz,” Wade complained, threatingly joking while tugging at Logan’s boxers with a pleading face.

Logan rolled his eyes, taking his mouth off of Wade’s neck and pressing his lips lightly onto Wade’s. Wade, surprised by this feeling, this moment of peace and serenity that he had never truly, truly felt before, kissed back.

Was this love?

“Dude… I am so wet right now,” Wade answered the kiss, melting over how passionate the incredibly horny man on top was to him. Trying so hard to not touch himself over the sight of the crazed, ferocious in passion man Deadpool with strong intentions forced himself on top of Logan.

Logan had just shown him a feeling he had never felt before and now he wanted to feel it forever.

Logan hitting the floor now looking up at his roommate to see the same overwhelming emotion and energy than Wolverine could adhere too.

They had both just found their person.

The person that truly understood everything.

Someone to finally fulfill his and his’s crazy.

Deadpool held Wolverine’s head in his hands rubbing his finger across his prickly unshaven cheek.

They both just stared in awestruck silence.

In awestruck love.

I GIVE UP I DONT WANNA WRITE THIS ANYMORE 😫💔

[amorgansgal]

Practice Makes Perfect

So here we go! At long last, I've finished my fic and I loved writing this one so much! Just to ensure absolute clarity I'm kind of seeing the academy as a university, so everyone here is over the age of 20 and somehow I've pegged Gale as a complete slut evidently!

Gale x Fat Female Reader

CW: Sexual content, Oral sex

‘I really don’t think this is a good idea,’ you desperately whisper to your friend, Nira, who is dragging you through the mahogany panelled library where absurdly high bookshelves tower above you both.

The library is quieter in the late afternoons and evenings, there are only a few students either absorbed in the small mountains of books that surround them or are busily writing out long essays, the familiar, comforting sound of turning pages and the scratch of pen against paper fills the large room. As you pass the candlesticks the wicks catch alight, now that the room is getting gloomier and the sky is darkening. The sun is sinking low in the sky, casting the last rays of golden light to be dispersed through the diamond patterned windows. The dark wooden floorboard underneath your feet glitters with the thrumming magic that spills from the books in the room and the stunning reds, golds and oranges of the last light of the day.

‘Don’t be such a wet blanket,’ Nira hisses in response. ‘Besides, I thought you were interested.’

‘I am,’ you insist, though a hot blush still creeps up your cheeks. ‘But I don’t want to be mocked or for him to judge me.’

‘He’s not going to judge you. From what I heard he quite likes…’ she hesitates, pursing her lips as though wanting to find the right way of putting it.

‘Fat women?’ you prompt.

She sighs. ‘I was going to say ladies with larger thighs, but sure, fat women.’

‘You promise me, he won’t laugh or-’

‘He’s not going to laugh and if he does I’ll fireball him right in his face.’

You bite back a laugh at the thought and Nira grins at you, then continues, ‘Besides, I’ve had the joy of experiencing Gale’s tongue and it’s well worth it. Honestly, I wish he was interested in properly dating someone, because I’d throw my hat in the ring, so many men act like the whole thing is disgusting. Oh but we’re expected to suck them off whenever, even if their dicks stink like piss!’

You smile, it’s been a complaint of Nira ever since she got to experience Gale’s tongue and you’ve heard all about his ability non-stop since. Most of the girls in your class have talked about it. You’re surprised they’re not jealous of one another or are trying to win him over, but he apparently doesn’t seem to care about entering a serious relationship and is just happy to oblige his classmates’ desires. You had your concerns though that he would not be interested in you. You’d always been on the larger size, your mother certainly didn’t help matters by pointedly making remarks about how most people associated female magic users with beautiful, ethereal waif like creatures. No one thought of dumpy little witches unless they were old and ugly. You did your best to shrug off comments like that but it still stung and you felt like you had to work twice as hard as your classmates just to be given any forethought or attention from either your peers or your teachers.

Gale, when you had occasion to work with him, was refreshingly respectful, kind and seemed to actually see you. You’d grown almost accustomed to any man’s gaze immediately drifting past you and onto your thinner friends. If it didn’t happen so often you might have even been angry about it, but you didn’t really see the point. So consequently your experience with men was rather limited. You’d been kissed, sure, but it was such a fumbling, innocent mess of a kiss you weren’t quite sure whether to count it. You’d touch yourself but you always felt a bit embarrassed about it and sometimes your own self-doubts would turn you off. So it was usually a rushed affair and didn’t quite leave you fully satisfied.

‘Ah, there you are,’ Nira says as you reach the end of the library where instead of desks and rigid back chairs there are soft, plush sofas nestled in alcoves and you see Gale look up at your approach. He gives you both a warm smile and you immediately feel that this whole thing is a horrible, terrible idea. Your feet slow and Nira is practically dragging you over. Your heart is thudding in your chest, the blood rushing in your ears, and it feels like your throat is about to close up. Gale is handsome. He has foppish brown hair that tickles the back of his neck. His eyes are a warm, deep brown. His easy going smile is inviting. And you feel all your weight, the soft plumpness of your belly, your thighs catching slightly on chairs and tables as you walk over. He is going to say no, he is going to look at you like you are disgusting and repulsive and how could you even think he would want to give you pleasure?

‘Good afternoon, Nira,’ he says and inclines his head in greeting. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘Well, it’s not so much pleasure you owe me!’ Nira says with a grin and tosses her head at you. ‘You remember Y/N, right?’

‘Of course, I still am very resentful you soundly beat me in my alchemy test!’’ he says, though there’s no malice in the tone as his smile widens and his eyes glimmer with mischief. 

‘Well, she’s heard what you like to do.’

Gale laughs, and for a moment your heart seizes in terror. ‘Really? Am I getting that kind of reputation?’ he asks, though you can see he’s quite proud of such a reputation.

Nira rolls her eyes. ‘Oh come off it Gale, you’ve practically had every girl in the classroom that way and we all talk about it!’

His eyes flick back to you and a shiver runs down your spine. The pupils in his eyes have widened and you’re quite certain it has nothing to do with the gloom of the library. He wets his lips and you’re almost scared of the way he’s looking at you… he’s looking at you with desire and your silly heart doesn’t quite know what to make of it. But then he clears his throat and gives you another sweet, winning smile.

‘And I take it you’re interested in allowing me to practise? Because if you’re not and Nira has just dragged you here when you don’t like the idea, then please don’t be bullied into it. I’m very happy to have a chance to work on my technique, but I don’t like the idea of someone being less than enthusiastic,’ he says and his gaze is entirely focused on you, and you almost don’t want to look at him because it’s so startling being treated like an object of desire. But you manage to keep your head raised and your eyes fixed on him.

‘Yes, I do… I am interested,’ you say. ‘If you’re… um… interested in me, you don’t have to if it would prove distasteful.’

That same wicked, mischievous gleam is back and he draws closer to you. ‘I am interested and I assure you, it never proves distasteful, quite the contrary in fact.’

‘Gods, should I just turn my back or are you going to wait until you’ve gone somewhere more private?’ Nira asks and you flush at her words, though Gale lets out another burst of laughter.

‘I would assume my room would be preferable,’ he says to you. ‘Though Lucia and I did make use of that corner over there,’ he gestures to a table tucked into a corner by a bookshelf and you inhale quickly, imagining your hands holding tightly onto the shelves, your butt on the table and Gale’s head between your thighs. You bite you lip and press your legs together, there is no denying the desire that courses through you at the thought of the risk that would be, the possibility of being caught, though you would find it mortifying. It’s better to not get ahead of yourself and you nod.

‘I would prefer the privacy of your room,’ you say, and Gale offers his hand to you. It takes you a moment for you to take it, but he gives your fingers a gentle squeeze and then puts the book he was holding back on the shelf. 

‘I assume we should go there now, unless you have prior plans,’ he says to you. Were it any other man you would have assumed he might be trying to put you off, but it sounds like he genuinely cares about whether or not you’re busy.

‘No, no, we can go there now,’ you say, then glance away because of how embarrassingly eager you sound.

‘Good,’ Gale says and takes hold of your hand more firmly. Nira catches your eye and smiles as he begins to walk by her.

‘Have fun!’ she says.

‘See you later, Nira,’ Gale says to her, you only manage a nod as you feel rather tongue tied.

***

Gale’s room is definitely cleaner than some of the guys’ rooms you had seen within the dormitory rooms of Blackstaff Academy. Oh, there’s robes tossed over chairs, the desk is littered with books, papers, quills, an open box of herbs and crystals and sublimates. But there’s no forgotten plates or dirty cups. Gale’s room actually smells quite good too, a faint hint of bergamot and cedar. He pulls out the chair in front of the desk and turns it around to face the bed, then gestures for you to sit in the chair. You sit down, nervously placing your hands in front of your belly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Gale closes the bedroom door, then sits down on the bed opposite you.

‘So, now that Nira isn’t around, you definitely want to do this? He asks.

You nod, your throat feels very dry and tight. Gale smiles at you softly. ‘Just want to check, as I say, don’t want to do this with anyone who has doubts. I’d like to ask you a few things first.’

You nod again and curse yourself for losing all sense of any wit or wisdom you once had in your brain! But Gale is relaxed and begins work on removing his boots. ‘First, easy one, do you want me to lock the door or just have it closed. I’m sure you know I have a tressym and she comes and goes as she pleases, and while she’s respectful and polite, I don’t put it past some of our classmates not to barge in!’

You think about it carefully, then say, ‘Lock the door please.’

He casts arcane lock on the door and then grins at you, you can’t help smiling back. ‘And you know knock, so you want to get out you’re free to go whenever you want,’ he says, the implication runs underneath, you’re in control, what you say goes, if you don’t like it you can go and there won’t be any hurt feelings. You feel rather touched he’s going to all this effort.

‘Next question, would you prefer to be partially clothed or entirely naked? When I do this I do quite enjoy touching my partner everywhere, but your comfort is more important than what I find enjoyable,’ Gale says.

You look away, you still feel self-conscious about your belly and you can’t imagine Gale would want to touch the soft, fleshy weight of it, let alone even see it! ‘I’ll keep my blouse on, if that’s alright,’ you mutter.

His two fingers catch under your chin and he lifts your head. ‘It’s fine by me, but it’s more important that it’s what you find alright, your comfort comes first. Now, biggest and hardest question,’ he says, smiling. ‘Can I kiss you or would you rather I didn’t and just work my magic between your legs?’

‘Yes,’ you whisper, your eyes are captured entirely by his and your voice sounds faint. ‘You can kiss me.’

His hand slips down your cheek, lightly resting against your neck, his fingers curve round your head and he pulls you forward. His mouth finds yours and he kisses you sweetly at first, tentative, gentle, as though he is worried you might flinch away, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your heart hammers in your chest and you feel like you might forget to breathe. Your hand hesitantly goes to his chest, you don’t want to push your luck, but he instead presses his free hand over yours and you can feel the warmth of him bleeding through his shirt. He lets out a groan and then pulls away from you, breathing hard and certainly wearing an expression of wanting to eat you up. 

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘If I’m not careful I’ll get carried away!’

You wonder what ‘carried away’ might entail, given what you’re about to do. But you don’t have much time to think about it, he helps you up from the chair and unties the laces of your skirt. He tugs it down over your hips and you watch him bite his lip when your thighs come into view, he’s utterly focused on your legs and his hand reaches out eagerly, but he seems to collect himself to not just grab a meaty handful. Gale gently strokes down your thigh and guides you to the bed, grabbing the pillows and putting them behind your back. He removes the slippers that had been on your feet, tossing them off into a corner of the room and seems to admire the stockings you wear, though they aren’t particularly sexy you think, just the fairly standard academy uniform ones. Once you’re comfortable, he returns to looking at your legs, he traces his fingers up from your ankles to just behind your knees, making you shiver. You still feel a bit embarrassed about Gale seeing you like this, of opening your legs so he can see all of you.

Gale catches your eye and smiles. He leans down and kisses you, that same sweet, soft kiss. ‘You alright?’ he whispers.

‘Mmhm,’ you manage, well at least you made a sound this time. Gale chuckles quietly.

‘You look so beautiful,’ he says, then trails kisses down your mouth, your jaw and neck, nipping at your ear and making you gasp as the hot little jolt of pleasure soars through you. You decide to ignore that him saying you’re beautiful is probably both something he says to all the girls who come to him for this and also definitely a lie in your case.

He scoots down the bed and slowly pulls apart your legs, his stare is so intense you have to close your eyes. His fingers skim up your legs, his nails stroke down your thighs, until they reach the crease between them and your mound. 

‘Hmm pretty,’ he says, and he pulls his right hand away for a moment. You open your eyes to see him with his thumb in his mouth that he pulls out with a pop and then he places it against your clit and circles it. The sensation makes you gasp and arch up, though you still cover your belly with your arm. Gale lets out another tight groan and suddenly lies down between your legs, his fingers still play with your clit, feather-light touches sliding down to your entrance and teasing it, then going back up making you bite your lip hard to not let out a sound.

‘You can make as much noise as you like, in fact I’d rather you do,’ he says, then brings one of your thighs over his shoulder. Your eyes flicker open as he presses kisses against it. He nips at the sensitive skin, a playful, teasing bite. ‘It tells me if I’m doing a good job.’

He keeps kissing down your thigh and suddenly he’s at the apex, his hungry dark eyes watching you intently, you can feel his breath on your nether regions, your belly feels tight and it’s all you can do to both stay on the bed exactly where you are or beg him to relieve you of the growing ache and need for something. He gives you one quick, delicious smile and then buries himself between your thighs. You don’t know what to expect, but his warm tongue darting out, circling your clit and then more firmly suckling it makes you feel like a hot jolt of electricity zapped through your body. The pleasure is mind melting and Gale is all to happy to apparently drown in you, his mouth and lips and tongue… You forget yourself, forget all your shame, the hatred of your body, the disgust you feel with yourself, and surrender yourself utterly to pleasure. 

He’s good, too good. He seems to cotton on quickly to what you like, how best to draw out every bit of pleasure, everything that makes your toes curl, that tighten the muscles in your thighs, that makes you instinctively grasp a handful of his brown hair between your hands and he keeps bringing you to the peak of pleasure over and over, until you see stars in your eyes and feel so lost to it all, so desperate you wind up babbling and pleading for him to let you cum.

‘Please Gale, please, please, don’t stop, please don’t stop. I need it, I need it so badly!’

You feel his laughter vibrate through his body, but finally, mercifully, he acquiesces and you are undone by pleasure, it roars through your body like a furnace, his tongue still maddeningly teasing your clit and you are left almost sobbing on the bed, uncaring of the warm gush between your legs, the air not filling your lungs enough, the world feels dizzy and spectacular and glorious. His head pops up and you can’t help the laugh you let slip at his slightly dazed, but altogether thoroughly pleased expression. 

‘You need to taste yourself,’ he insists, and he kisses you again fiercely, his tongue sliding into your mouth and you do. It’s not a bad taste to your surprise, musky and a little tart, but intoxicating and sweet. Once he’s satisfied he raises his head, though he’s still lying on top of you, he rests his forehead against yours and sighs contentedly. His chin and small beard is soaked through. ‘How was that?’ he asks.

It takes you a moment to clear your throat and find your voice, but more because you’ve been done in, not because you are flustered. ‘Good, very, very good. Thank you.’

‘No, thank you,’ he says, and you let out a breath of laughter that he’s still ever the gentleman. He gets to his feet, grabs an empty basin and a cloth, and comes back to your side. He fills the bowl with warm water using a prestidigitation spell and starts work cleaning you up, tenderly washing you down, though you almost feel a little disappointed you couldn’t keep the slick between your thighs. There’s already a delightful prickling sensation from where his beard rubbed against your legs.

He helps you to your feet, then picks up your skirt, giving it a little shake to remove any dust and holding it open for you to step in. ‘I can manage to dress myself,’ you say.

‘I know, didn’t doubt that, Miss beats-me-soundly-at-alchemy,’ he teases. ‘But I like doing this.’

He brings over your shoes and insists on helping you with those too, having you sit back down on the bed as he puts them on your feet. You have a feeling it might just be because he gets to touch your legs once more.

‘You have the best legs,’ he murmurs. 

You let out a snort of laughter. ‘Given how many you’ve apparently seen, I doubt that!’

But he vehemently shakes his head. ‘I mean it, the best legs in the whole school. If you ever wish for another time I’d be happy to oblige, but I’d quite like it if you sat on my face.’

‘Gale, I’d squish you or break your nose!’ you say.

His eyes gleam at the thought. ‘Well worth the risk!’ He gets to his feet, then offers you a hand and after helping you up, he turns your hand over and presses a kiss to the knuckles. ‘Please come back any time.’

You shiver with delight at the thought, but simply nod and leave the room.

***

Of course Nira wants all the juicy, sordid details and you spend the better part of the evening quietly whispering and giggling in your dormitory room as you recount it. She does seem surprised though when you mention that Gale had asked if he could kiss you.

‘Really? He didn’t ask to kiss me,’ she muses, then gives a shrug. ‘Maybe that’s just something new he does, though I swear Jacanthe was just before you and she didn’t talk about him kissing her. I’ll have to ask her at breakfast.’

It’s an odd, trivial notion you’re sure, but you can’t help the pleased little smile at the thought that maybe, just maybe he had solely wanted to kiss you. But you dismiss it, Gale could have any women at the academy and you know better than to get swept away with the idea that maybe his feelings ran deeper for you than anyone else!

[goldfades]

✮ '𝟐𝟐 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩, zegras' have more fun

♡ ─ summary | little flashback to when y/n posts her 2022 summer dump on instagram to update everyone on where she's going to college.

♡ ─ warnings | literally just fun, fake arguments, mention of ohio state.., literally nothing else.

♡ ─ taglist | tbd

♡ ─ ev's notes | i'm so excited for this au, i already fell with all the dynamics lmao. i'm trying something relatively new with the best friend oc's, please lmk how u feel about them!

back to navigation back to AU masterlist

ynzegras bedford, new york

Liked by trevorzegras, briesbagels, jhughes and 2,832 more

ynzegras | summer dumpie '22... also let's all take a guess on where i am going 4 uni (hint: it's red) tagged: pchandler68, briesbagels, avazegras, trevorzegras, griffinzegras august 7th, 2022

View all 234 comments

briesbagels | ohio state????

↳ ynzegras bingo!

briesbagels | gorgeous gorgeous best friend <3

↳ ynzegras ALL U BRIE, ILY

jhughes | LMAO YOU DID THEM SO DIRTY IN THE LAST SLIDE

↳ trevorzegras ha ha ha, i'll fr make u laugh your ass off with those screenshots in my camera roll

↳ jhughes sorry king, u look good man

lhughes_06 | new fav wolverine

↳ ynzegras love ya lukey pookie

↳ pchandler68 what about me bro 😢

↳ lhughes_06 sorry man, ur both my fav

↳ ynzegras it's okay lukey you can be honest.. (it's me)

_quinnhughes | growing up too fast little z 🥹

↳ trevorzegras why didn't you cry when i grow up too fast??

↳ _quinnhughes i had an aneurysm reading that and because i dont fw you like that buddy

↳ ynzegras damn... u rly gonna take that trev??

↳ trevorzegras shut up """"LITTLE Z."""" 😐😐😐

↳ _quinnhughes im jk, trev (jk)

pchandler68 photo creds????

↳ briesbagels YA TO ME?? 😑

↳ pchandler68 yeah no, to ME

↳ briesbagels it's clearly MY digital camera parker

↳ ynzegras ooo she's going by first name basis, you're in real trouble chandler 👀

↳ trevorzegras guys stop arguing

↳ briesbagels tf asked you, trevor

↳ trevorzegras 😐😶

avazegras | don't remind me 😭😭 you're leaving me!!!!!

↳ ynzegras IM SORRY, YOU HAVE A YEAR LEFT, YOU GOT THIS AVA!!!!!!!

griffinzegras | gtfo you're no longer invited back to the house after u posted that pic

↳ ynzegras be nice griff i'm leaving in 2 weeks

↳ griffinzegras yeah good, ur no longer gonna eat my leftover wings and take my shirts for gym cover-ups 😑

↳ trevorzegras SHE DOES THAT SHIT TO YOU TOO???? you have a problem y/n

↳ ynzegras bruh. im getting ganged up on

↳ briesbagels leave her alone, she's just a teenage girl!!!!!

↳ trevorzegras fucking barely, she's 17 🙄

↳ ynzegras when he literally doesn't understand numbers????? 😭😭

umichwsoccer | 👀👀

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

Evermore - Part 2

Summary: It’s been 7 years since the love of your life left you behind for his career. When he decides to come back, is it too late to start anew? Will you decide to start over or realize what's been right in front of you this whole time?

Warnings: 18+ for future chapters. AFAB!Reader. Alcohol/drug use mentioned. General angst. Swearing. Minimal use of Y/N. Reader is given the nickname Peach.

Word Count: 2.5K

Masterlist

As soon as Eddie touched down in Indy, he phoned Wayne. Not going into all the gory details that had led him here, but Wayne knew well enough not to prod. He was simply happy to have his boy back even if it was only for a couple of days. This would be the first time the metalhead would be back to Hawkins since he had moved Wayne out of Forest Hills and into a one level ranch style brick home across town. It was modest but enough for the old bachelor. Even then he merely stayed long enough to get Wayne situated then he found himself on the next flight to L.A., thankfully avoiding any other interactions in town, namely you.

He rented an inconspicuous black car at the airport and headed home. In L.A. rockstar Eddie wouldn’t be caught dead driving but back home, he was just Eddie Munson, resident freak and Satan worshiper. The small-minded people of this town still probably thought he had sold his soul to get where he was today. At times, he might agree with them.

The drive went rather quickly, finding himself pulling up to Wayne’s in record time. He grabbed his small bag and slung it over his shoulder making his way up to the front step. Before he made it up to the door, it swung open with a screech of its hinges revealing the older man.

“There’s my boy! Happy Birthday old man!” Wayne beamed, meeting him halfway on the porch engulfing him in a warm, crushing hug. Eddie hugged him back with as much enthusiasm. He led them through the threshold as he welcomed him in.

“How long you in for?” he asked hesitantly. Never knowing what to expect from his nephew.

“Uh, couple of days,” it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Well, you’ve got a bedroom here. No need to hole yourself up in one of these dumpy motels around town son.” He took Eddie’s bag and walked to the room at the end of the hall giving him little choice but to accept the offer.

Standing alone in the living room gave him the chance to inspect the space. Wayne decorated it much like he had the little living area they had back at the trailer. Updated furniture but he still had his collection of hats hung on the wall above the couch. He also had his mugs proudly displayed in the kitchen and dining room. Eddie silently cursed himself for not bringing him a new one but made a mental note to pick up one to gift him before he left.

He noted the picture hung on the wall from his graduation. He stared at the smiling faces in the small oak frame. He studied the way your smile reached your eyes as you gazed up at him like he had hung the moon. At one time his favorite picture, now he despised the way it mocked him.

He lifted his hand to touch your face in the still photo when Wayne cleared his throat as he re-entered the room. Eddie retreating it quickly as if it had burned him. “She’s still in town, you know? She checks up on me from time to time. Doin’ real good for herself.”

Eddie looks away from your warm smile, looking down to the floor clearing his own throat before speaking, “That’s good. She uh… she happy?” He looked back to his uncle expectantly.

“Well, she seems to be. Always keeps herself busy. She bought a house not too far from here a couple of years ago. A nice little 2 story over on Maple.” The old man smiled fondly as he spoke about you. He never told Eddie anything that you two spoke about or even the fact that you had stayed so close after all these years. But Eddie wasn’t naive, he knew you were like a daughter to the older man as much as he was his son. Since moving away he suspected that the two of you were closer than he and Wayne were now.

They caught up over a couple of beers and a hot meal. It had been ages since Eddie had a real homecooked meal. It made him long for something he couldn't quite explain. He spilled his guts to Wayne. Telling him all about the ex he had just left behind, leaving out some of the details. He didn’t need to hear another lecture about the alcohol or drug fueled parties.

Wayne hadn’t expected Eddie, but he had somehow still managed to get him a cake. They laughed and reminisced over the dessert. Then he handed him a small, wrapped package.

“Wayne, you know you didn’t have to get me anything. Save your money for something useful. It would be better spent on yourself.”

“Non-sense! I can’t not get my only son a little something for his birthday.” He waved his hand dismissively.

Eddie opened it, revealing a lighter that held his initials, E. J. M. “Thanks old man.” He clapped Wayne on the back. “I lost my good one a couple months back, so this is perfect.”

The two shared a few more stories before Wayne decided to retire for the night leaving the other to ruminate, once again alone to spiral in his own thoughts.

Watching the dwindling sunlight hide behind the trees, welcoming the twilight, he decided to take a drive. The house was too quiet for his liking. He didn’t have any specific destination in mind, he just wanted to clear his head. He drove through the downtown area, Family Video and the arcade still going strong after all these years. Hawkins didn’t have much else to offer in the way of entertainment.

He noticed the area had gotten nicer, with a quaint little coffee shop occupying the space that Melvald’s General Store used to be. Something about the name caught his attention, but he brushed it off thinking it to be a coincidence. Once the mall had been built most of the mom-and-pop shops shut down, but it warmed his heart to see his little town still thriving.

He found himself in the parking lot at the Hideout, staring up at the all too familiar red and blue neon above the door. It was the same, but somehow different. The outside had been updated and he wondered if the inside had been too. He thought about the little apartment above the bar that held a special place in his heart, and all the memories he made there. It looked deserted now. No lights or signs of life.

A little while later after more aimless travel, he found himself on Maple Street. If he was completely honest with himself this is exactly where he intended to come. He parked in front of the only 2 story on the block. It didn’t look like anyone was home in the quaint little Tudor style home. The house was somehow exactly what he had pictured for you. Not a large home, but certainly taken care of. Manicured lawn and flower beds. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting out front when he noticed a familiar BMW slowly coming down the road and turning into the drive.

“Fucking Harrington,” he cursed out lowly to himself. “Of course, it’s Harrington.”  His grip on the steering wheel subconsciously tightened, turning his knuckles white.

He picked up the pack of smokes, resting in his lap, placing one between his lips to light and that’s when time seemed to slow. His breath hitched as he saw you exit the car. He couldn’t see you fully from this distance, with the light from the porch only giving enough illumination to make out your silhouette. He noted your hair was longer, but you looked good, healthy. Happy. You got out chatting with Steve, not able to make out the conversation but then he heard your laughter float through the air bright and clear. It hit him with such ferocity that if he weren’t sitting, he knew his knees would have failed him. He’d give just about anything to be the one to make you laugh like that again.

Much to his surprise, you didn’t immediately start for your front door but turned your attention to the back of the car. He watched with bated breath as you leaned down and picked up a sleeping form from the backseat. The child stirred slightly as she wrapped her arms tightly around your neck as you made your way to the house with “the hair” hot on your heels. He opened the door for you as you slipped inside and out of sight.

“What. The. Fuck.” he huffed. To say he was stunned would be an understatement. The cigarette between his lips threatened to fall as he was trying to pick his jaw back up from the floor as his mind caught up with what he had just witnessed. You… with a kid, with Harrington in tow. The what ifs started to take over.

He tried to maintain his composure as he drove back to Wayne’s. He picked up a fifth of Jack along the way. He was still having trouble trying to comprehend the scene that had played out before him. Why hadn’t Wayne told him you had a kid? With Steve Harrington of all people. He knew the two of you were close. Always had been. It had been a sore subject for your relationship a time of two. Eddie had been jealous and insecure back then, but you always assured him that there was nothing. And to your credit, never had been. But Eddie wasn’t blind either, he saw the way Steve looked at you. He could almost picture the gloating bastard, “I got the girl. What did you end up with?”

He slipped into the house making as little noise as possible so as not to disturb his sleeping uncle, hiding the liquor under his jacket as he made his way to the spare room. He shimmied out of said jacket and his shoes. Sitting on the bed he exhaled, as if he’d been holding his breath since leaving your house. He lifted the bottle and let the dark amber liquid flow down his throat, burning on the way down. Matching the way he felt, burning with something he could only describe as jealousy. He had no reason to be jealous. He knew that. You weren’t his and hadn’t been in a long time. He downed the rest of the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, catching some liquid that slipped from the corner of his mouth.  

His head hit the pillow as his eyes were already growing heavy. He let the drowsiness take hold and prayed like hell to a God he didn’t believe in, along with the help of his friend Jack, it would be a dreamless night.

You woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and coffee wafting from your downstairs, a most welcome invasion to your senses. Neither you nor Steve grew up in a household that reigned in domesticated bliss but you both try your damnedest around Maddie. He was a great dad, which didn’t come as a shock to anyone that really knows him. He'd always wanted kids and that whole picket fence dream. He just never imagined doing it alone. Which, he was never alone with the help of you and Robin, Maddie had plenty of motherly influence and love.

You yawned, stretched and not at all ready to face the day but the little tornado would be up soon, and you'd have no choice at that point. You grabbed your fuzzy robe and bunny slippers creeping from your bedroom and tiptoeing your way to the guest room. She was still sound asleep, laying on her stomach with her little face smooshed into the pillow and lips slightly parted. The exact sleeping position you'd often find her dad in. 

You cracked the door and padded your way softly down the stairs to the kitchen. Steve was standing at the sink, coffee in hand with a towel slung over his shoulder with his grey sweats and plain white tee hugging the expanse of his chest. He looked deep in thought peering out the window, you didn't want to disturb him, but he turned and noticed you in the doorway. 

"Oh hey," he smiled softly, his warm gaze falling to you. "You're up." He huffed a laugh as you passed by headed straight for the coffee pot without a word. He had already made quite the feast, with biscuits warming in the oven. He would make some lucky woman very happy one day. It was a selfish thought to hope you could keep him like this forever. Misery loves company and all that.

“Sleep well?” you finally asked, while pouring yourself a cup and sitting down at the counter that separated the kitchen from the small dining area.

“Always do when I know my kid is safe and you’re happy.” All syrupy sweet. So sticky, those words could pin you to the very spot you sat.

“She's still passed out, so I think our little adventure wore us all out." 

Just as those words left your mouth you heard a thud upstairs followed by the pounding of little bare feet running across the floor. Steve smirked as he held his mug to his lips. "Spoke too soon, Peach."

Maddie bounded down the stairs and ran into your waiting arms. "How'd my favorite girl sleep?" You picked her up, smoothing her sleep mussed curls. Her pajamas almost too small for her growing frame.

"Daddy was snoring loud!" You let out a hearty laugh and looked over at Steve, as Maddie buried her face tighter to your chest.

"Hey!" He gasped, setting his mug on the counter, his hands finding their way to his hips for that signature dad stance. "That's not very nice. I think you snored louder than I did."

"Nuh uh daddy!" She flew into fit of giggles; head thrown back as you pulled her into a tight hug. You were about to tell him to get her some breakfast when you heard three sharp knocks at the door. 

Maddie immediately jumped down and shouted, "I get it!" 

"Who are you expecting?" He mused, quirking his eyebrow playfully.

You shrugged, "no one,” as you followed her.

"Mads baby, hold on. You don't know who it is." She reached the door before you could catch up to stop her.

"Hi mister!" She greeted all smiles with a small wave.

"Uh... Hi," you heard him respond and your heart dropped as your throat immediately tightened. It was suddenly too hard to swallow. A voice that you could never forget.

You sidled up behind the girl to see the metalhead rockstar standing before you, ripped jeans and leather jacket, his usual go to look. His hair a little shorter and scruff lines his jaw, as if he hadn’t shaved in a week or so.  You noted he was twirling his rings around his fingers, a habit he only exhibited when he was anxious or nervous. His eyes immediately found yours. Those dark, doe eyes you once held so much love for.

"Eddie?" You barely breathed out above a whisper, too taken aback to say anything else.

"Hey Peach." 

Taglist: @josephquinncore @theawkwardbutterfly @jadedhillon @angelina16torres-blog @justheretoreadleavemealone @heyyimmisunderstood @micheledawn1975 @devilslittlebabyxx @luciferiorbxtch @bebe07011 @pettydonuts @munsonmecrazy

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

handyman!jason and reader deserve the world!!!!!!!! the 'love you too'!! oh my god I love them

"Maggie I'm fine," you tell her yawning, sinking into your "spot" in the blue arm chair you'd always liked to snuggle into as a little girl. "It was just a long day."

"You don't have to rush to get a job, you know," she said looking up from her crochet project- a new afghan for your bed with a frown. "I don't mind-"

"I know you don't but I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Honey, if I thought you were I wouldn't have hauled your ass down here. You know you're my favorite-"

"You're not supposed to have favorites, Mags," you tell her, putting your sandals next to your chair and tucking your feet up.

"Mothers and Grandmothers can't have favorites. Dumpy old Aunts with money can do whatever the hell they want," she scoffed.

"You're not-"

"I just want you to be happy," she said waving your protests away carelessly, frowning. "I think I missed a stitch- Anyway. Ever since you were a little girl people tried to tell you to shut up and look pretty. And ever since you were a little girl you showed your teeth and told them to piss off. I was so goddamn proud of you. I still am. You cut a path of your own- I definitely missed a stitch-" She trailed off and started to pull out the row she'd been working on. And you wait. Knowing better than to interrupt her mid-tirade. "Your little Bed and Breakfast was a great idea... Until that bastard went and gambled it off."

You wince at the memory. The boyfriend who help you open it and then lost it all to pay a massive gambling debt.

"You've got moxie, honey. If I had half the balls at your age-"

"You ran with a biker gang at my age," you remind her.

Maggie snorted, "That was to piss off my mother. That wasn't a goal honey. I was headed nowhere fast. The only reason I'm not dead is that I had nice tits and laughed at the right man's stupid jokes. Real dreams take guts. And trying to go after them takes balls the size of Texas."

"Mags-"

"Don't give up and take some stupid job you hate. That's all I'm saying. Rest. Get a tan. Sleep around. Live a little and get your head on straight... Then if you still want to work for some corporate chain, do it. But don't rush on my account. I'm just happy you're here. Even if you are a pain in my ass."

"I love you too, Maggie Mae."

"Go mix me another drink, honey. I'm too sober to do this right."

[samthepotterhead]

am I dumb or does beorn not look like a bear but more like a warg? and in man form he looks like a half transformed werewolf (like fenrir greyback in the movies).

sometimes I can't tell fili and thorin apart. I mean, they are related!

I only just remembered the spiders from the forbidden forest. another parallel between hp and lotr, but I totally glossed over that while reading the hobbit.

I don't know if I've said this before, but martin freeman is so perfect for this role. this inherit englishness and bourgeois vibe. and his body language and facial expressions!

elvish (I don't know which dialect/branch this is ok) sounds not so ethereal when spoken. I mean it was based on finnish, so…

that kili is considered tall for a dwarf works well with the fan theory/headcanon that he isn't fully dwarf.

was the silvan elf king featured this much in the book? and was he mentioned in thorin's back story at all? I honestly recall so little of the hobbit already... but again if it wasn't mentioned, it makes a lot of sense in the movie.

I think tauriel is a bit too human acting for an elf, they are usually so mysterious (legolas and the king are doing that). ok the guards were also in the book and not so elvish. maybe it's just a nobility thing.

I like the romance tbh. a pity they created the only female elf in the movie (apart from galadriel) for that, but better than zero like in the hobbit...

I always wonder how there are not a trillion elves since they can procreate but are basically immortal? like even if they go to the grey havens every once in a while, I'm sure many stay on?

is that balin's tomb? where is gandalf here? I'm a bit confused. but in general, the tie-in with the lotr plot works so well in this one.

ok the plot is quite significantly deviating from the book now. I'm not against it bc the lake town plot was super info-dumpy in the hobbit, but I also don't really need another basic male hero... but stephen fry I approve of! the counsellor gives off a very wormtonguey vibe. was this intentional? but man that was a lot of grossness in a few minutes.

the elves have exactly the weird springly step I imagined, I love the attention to detail :)

ok the secret door looks not so secret in this… but these sets are so intricate, I can't say it enough!

pretty sure the dwarf ring plot was not in the hobbit. will it be in lotr?

smaug, guarding a plot-wise important item is exactly like the dragon in gringotts in dh. though that is of course also originally from norse mythology. at any rate, I didn't remember that smaug could talk? and bilbo has learned not to tell a random being his full name and species. good job, bilbo.

man this movie is long… feels much longer than the first one. they are stalling with these dragon scenes. the liquid gold and statue part was cool, but unneccessary.

they really kept the women-belong-to-the.house theme going here :/ only bard's son is allowed to run around town. and how come no one else in lake town saw the orcs on the roofs?

saving kili's life has become a full time job for tauriel. in general, the kili/tauriel scenes are cute, but adding nothing to the pregression of the plot at this point. but now it seems they've know each other before? maybe I'm misinterpreting.

oh my god, it's ed sheeran. why is he in every fantasy thing? (ok, only in got as well, that I know of, but still - weird that it happend twice right? etc.) wait, I actually know this song, this was in the charts. I never knew this was from the hobbit! it honestly sounds like an ai generated song though, with the words "fire", "mountain" and "desolation" put in as a prompt...

too stunned by this revelation to properly rate the movie now, but I guess I liked as a whole, it was only a bit too long and not as well plotted as the first one.

[hischierswhore]

sunset vows insta au (m. mount)

created in collaboration with @masonmiamor ! read the matching fic here 🫶🏼

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yourusername

liked by yourbff, masonmount & 1,293,947 others

yourusername i take this magnetic force of a man to be lover 😚💍💕

tagged: masonmount

view all 2,185 comments

*comments have been limited*

masonmount my wife 😍😍😍

benchilwell congratulations guys!

sophiaaemelia mr & mrs mount 💕💕

cmpulisic okay but… your husband’s got a lil dumpy 🤭

cartiamallan ❤️

england 💙💙💙💙💙💙

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

masonmount

liked by chelseafc, yourusername & 2,194,836 others

masonmount yes she’s mine, my mj forever💕💕

view all 3,038 comments

*comments have been limited*

chelseafc congratulations to you both 💙

reecejames congratulations mate!

yourusername & you’re my peter parker🥹

masonmount no i’m your spiderman

cmpulisic can you climb walls?

masonmount no

benchilwell exactly mate. you’re peter parker.

landonorris congratulations 🧡🧡🧡

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

The Devil drives a good bargain.

"I'm a good salesman. I don't mean that I'm good at selling things. I'm ethical and I sell fairly. All the same, I have to make a profit, so I drive a good, fair bargain.

Your soul for your dreams.

I mean, you don't exactly need it after you die, right? So why not just hand it over then?" I looked hopefully at my customer. He seemed torn, uncertain. I needed to strike fast, hard. I needed to sell this now.

"Come on... You said you wanted to fall in love again, right? I can do that. I can make you and your wife feel as though you were both teenagers in the throes of passion. Or, if you want, I can get you to fall in love with someone else? And I'll throw in a clean divorce too. Or perhaps an open marriage? The possibilities are endless!" Still, the man hesitated. What was wrong with the bastard? I gritted my teeth. He had been standing there for weeks, quietly contemplating. Wasting my time.

"I've decided," he said. My hope soared. "I don't want any of that." My hope crashed into a tree and died. 

"Then, what do you want?" I asked, giving him a winning smile.

"I want to make a bet. If I win, I get a wish for free. If I lose, I'll give up my entire family's souls. Deal?" He suddenly seemed infinitely more confident. I was nonplussed. Some people tried to fake me out, trick me into giving them free wishes. 

"What's the bet?" I leaned on the countertop, bringing myself to his level. We stared each other in the eye.

"We swap places. I be the Devil, you be the everyman. First to give up loses. You in?" He smirked.

What was I to do? I could hardly resist a gamble. It was a deal.

Perhaps I was a fool, I thought, sitting at a desk. Overseeing a herd of imps was not fun. They drew markers everywhere, squelched mud, and somehow had the ability to cry on command. But as I was sitting there, rifling through unartistic crayon drawings, an idea struck me.

I did not have to stay in this job. I did not have to go home to a dumpy wife who was cheating on me and a pair of whiny teenagers. That fool lent me his body and by hell, I was going to get a good deal out of it.

I decided to think of it as a vacation. I took out all the cash from the accounts, including the kids' college funds and the retirement money. Then I borrowed an unthinkably large amount of money before disappearing off to the tropics.

I spent my days in luxury, traveling, seeing the world, gambling when I needed more cash (for the Devil always wins). I saw the world from the rose-tinted glasses of the rich, and enjoyed luxuries beyond imagination. After a while, I began to dread the end of the bet.

And then I grew old, and still the bet had not come to an end. My heart was on the verge of dying on me, and I lay bedridden with kidney failure. So I did what anyone who was not in their own body would do in that situation. 

I jumped off a 50 story building. The impact did not hurt that much. It all quickly faded to black.

I reappeared on the other side of my counter. The man whose body I occupied stood manning my shop. When he saw me, he laughed maniacally. "So you just couldn't stand the old missus, huh? Guess I beat the Devil at his own game," he said. I merely smiled, and got back on the right side of my shop. He hopped over the counter, grinning wildly.

"So… About my boon?" he asked. I steepled my fingers and sat down, leaning backwards.

"I'm afraid not. We only serve living customers. I'm afraid your body died while under my care. But thank you for the free vacation," I replied, allowing myself a satisfied smile. 

His face turned thunderous. "What do you mea-" He was whisked off to the afterlife in a flash of light before he could finish. Cheerfully, I waved at him as he went.

"Thank you for shopping with us. Have a nice day!" I called after him.