#manifest destiny moment or whatever

[frenchphobic]

no group is entitled to another group’s land i feel like that should not be a hot take

[leieatsmen]

📽️ YOU ARE THE DIRECTOR

you’re literally the director, producer, muse, screenwriter and cast of your dream life, your muse is who you want to be, the screenwriter does all the work behind the scenes and the script and basically everything that goes into making the movie the movie.

what you put into your screenplay (whether it’s aff tapes, living in the end, embodying your dream life or doing sats) everything you put into your screenplay dictates the outcome of your movie (your dream life)

you literally need to be the best method actor in the world and feel your dream life so it can harden into your dream reality. when someone is preparing for a role reading the script doesn’t get them far they need to transform into that character so they can perform to the best of their abilities

make your own rules, how are other people going to tell you what to do like hello?? the law is about you and literally nobody else this is your movie who cares if you wanna do whatever you want if you think doing methods are beneficial go for it at the end of the day it’s your life and you have the power in your hands. we all want an award winning life full of success, love and happiness and it is coming!! congratulations in advance

you find manifesting difficult because you make it difficult for yourself, you complicate it for yourself by over-consuming and fixating on methods that’s why you feel stagnant!! affirm and persistence goes a long way i promise it seems like people throw around this term all the time but it’s literally true that’s what makes loa easy

”your desired state already exists but is excluded from view. an assumption brings it into sight by changing your perspective.” - neville goddard

— ༊ xtra hehe i hope this analogy makes sense at the end of the day this is your life and your creation you are in control and it is finished you have your dream life you are the director of your own life and destiny ⁺ this is literally sats but i loveeee affirming and making my own short films in my head knowing that when i wake up i will live in that moment

— ༊ i hope you find this useful!! i’ve been crazy consistent lately even im scaring myself (@etherealkissed88 definitely has some of my favorite loa content!! you should definitely follow her) that’s pretty much all i have to say have a good day/afternoon or night and good luck on your journey because it’s already done

[whereonhermitcraftisjoel]

Using my platform for a non-Joel Hermit for a moment

[edit: he changed it to "Manifeting Mending" which actually yes is even better! Also further reading says yes, people have just started saying 'manifest destiny' to mean 'achieve my goals' or whatever, he didn't pick a random phrase, he tried to sound hip like the kids]

Grian's episode title was "Manifest Destiny", which was a VERY BAD United States policy/idea to justify American Imperialism and... check out the wikipedia link above for more.

Grian fixed his episode title in less than an hour. Thanks Grian!

It's very easy for posts to go viral and for corrections to be missed, and as an American who did quite a bit of US history in school a person, I really appreciate Grian promptly fixing this. <3

[eamour]

manifestation rules

everybody has a different set of beliefs when it comes to manifesting, determining their journey. some believe that nothing unfavourable can manifest for them, some believe that they can get whatever they want even if they react to their outer reality, ... whatever you choose to believe in creates the basis for the way you go about manifesting your desires. therefore, it's always nice to make manifesting easier and more effortless by sticking to certain rules that can protect, guide and make you feel more at ease while manifesting a certain desire.

applying the rules

it's totally up to you: you can make all of these your new rules or just pick a few new ones that resonate with you the most. the way you make these rules "work" is by simply declaring that this is now your new way of manifesting! don't worry, you don't have to learn them all by heart but remind yourself of them in times of manifesting. it's the most affective when you don't overcomplicate it!

here are the rules

whatever i want, wants me more

everything conspires in my favour

i am the only creator in my reality

the world revolves around me

i’m the main character and always get my happy ending

i am destined to win and succeed

everything is rigged in my favour

i easily manifest

manifesting is very easy for me

it’s all in my command and under my control

i am in charge of pretty much everything

there’s only one operant power and that’s me

i always get everything i want in my life

i was made to rule both dimensions

everything always falls into place for me

it all perfectly works out for me 

i never chase, i attract

everything i want is easily given to me

i have it all

i’m a master manifestor

i’m a pro at manifesting

whatever i desire is already mine

i’m the blueprint

i’m way too perfect not to have it all

all of my desires are meant for me

i effortlessly manifest the life of my dreams

everything is always about me

i am the prize, everything chases me

i decide what happens next

i am the god of my reality

i’m the master of my destiny

my desires are done deal 

everything is mine for the taking

i have my desires simply because i say so

as the god of my reality, it is my right to have everything i want

i get everything i desire since everything i say, goes

life is a game and i keep winning

i never fail to get what i want

it’s impossible for me to fail

not getting what i wish for isn’t possible

“failure” doesn’t exist in my life

others might not succeed but that doesn't go for me

i manifest quickly, effortlessly and instantly

my desires materialise very fast

i always get whatever i want whenever i want it

everything i want is being handed to me instantly

whatever i desire is mine in the very moment

i get whatever i want as soon as possible

i manifest regardless of everything and anything

there is no such thing as “impossible”, “illogical” or “unlikely” to manifest

circumstances don’t matter

the outside world doesn't affect me in any way

nothing can hinder my manifestation process

i cannot not get my desire

no one can stop me from attaining the life i want

the 3D immediately conforms

everything always works out perfectly for me

i am limitless

my abilities are infinite

anything is totally malleable 

i can change reality to my liking

the world only shows me what i wish to see

i mould my own world

in imagination, i have it all

regardless of any circumstances, i get whatever i like

intrusive thoughts, doubts or worries cannot influence my manifestations

the 3D quickly reflects my desires

my outer world shows me my inner world

negativity doesn’t exist for me

i am protected from anything undesirable

unfavourable thoughts never manifest for me

with love, ella.

[lavishlyleo]

Astrology Observations 4 : Solar Return Chart Edition

Having your SR Ascendant in the same sign as your natal chart's planet ruler sign will mean you'll likely have a lot of growth and prosperity that year. I have Sagittarius Rising (My Jupiter is in Scorpio). I've had SR Scorpio Rising twice in my life, and both times I did I went through many transformations and had a lot of good luck during those years. Possibly the best years of my life.

Having Jupiter or Saturn in your 4th house could mean you move houses that year.

Having Venus and/or Mars in your 12th house could make people obsessed with you and want to learn more about you, this is probably because you appear mysterious to them even if you're a generally open person, and they wanna get to the bottom of the mystery.

Whatever house pluto is in for that year will be where you change the most. For example if you have 5th house pluto one year then you may get a new hobby or something about your original hobbies will change durastically. Or 8th house pluto could mean you have a sexual or spirital awakening, maybe a near death experience, or you feel like a part of yourself died inside you.

Mars in the 11th house can mean you're more outgoing and even aggressive amongst friends and peers that year.

When the Sun and the Moon are in conjunction, there is a new moon. So those who have this placement that year will likely have many moments of realizations about themselves and be in very in tune with their emotions, wants, needs, ect. This is a very self aware period in your life but also an AMAZING time for manifestations to occur, you may literally speak some things into existance this year! When you align your emotions with your goals, and vise versa, great things will happen for you!

Along this note, check what house(s) this conjunction falls in! If they both are in different houses, it may weaken the manifesting power. However, if they are both in the same house, look at that houses themes to see what you'll need to focus on and to build up your karma for so you can more properly manifest!

Uranus aspecting North Node could mean a huge change in your plans or destiny that year at any point. For example you could be working on your art hobby and career but suddenly you get more chances at a cooking career or find yourself more interested in baking as a hobby, if that makes any sense.

Lilith in the 1st house, 10th, and/or conjunct to any of your personal planets can indicate being an over all social pariah that year. People may betray or break off relations with you, you may slowly realize some people are becoming more hostile to you, you may be seen as a bad guy in every situation, people might make you feel ashamed of yourself, ect. This is NOT a fun placement to have.

However, having Sagittarius or Gemini in your top 3 for that year though could mean making a lot of friends that year and learning about a lot of diferent peoples lives.

Having beneficial planets or astroids like Venus, Jupiter, Ceres, or Pallas conjunct to your Midheaven means you'll likely have a very prosperous and lucky year in your career and workplace. Things may feel like they just come easily to you.

Wherever your Sun and Moon are placed in the chart can show where most of your emotional and over all focus will be for that year. For example if you have your Sun in the 11th house and your Moon in the 2nd, many themes that you'll focus on that year will be finding your self worth in the groups you're in, standing up for your personal values, and trying to find what your place is in social circles.

Sun in the first house can indicate needing to focus more on yourself that year. More self care and less about other people's problems.

Having a Pisces or Scorpio Ascendant, and/or personal planets in the 8th/12th house are other very powerful placements for manifestation.

Saturn in the 4th house could mean something terrible or life changing is going to happen to you that year. You'll likely learn a lot of life lessons and karma will come to you, good or bad.

Speaking of the 4th house, this probably goes without saying but 4th house sign will show what kind of life to expect at home for that year, Mars or Saturn ruled signs will likely be malefic in this house and can cause some issues for you that year.

I don't know if this is because I'm a Sagittarius rising or if it's just because Jupiter is a lucky planet, but in all the best years of my life, Jupiter was strongly aspecting my ascendant (conjunction and opposition).

Venus aspecting Mars in SR 🤝 being the center of attention wherever you go and having everyone fawn over you for that year. This can also indicate a huge glowup, not just look wise but also socially as well. You will likely gain some level of popularity or positive recognition this year, even you're a more private and not outgoing person.

Having the astroid Nessus conjunct to any of your personal planets or points could make you a target of abuse and bullying for that year. However having Nessus or Uranus in the 3rd or 6th house could also generate the same effect.

Whatever house Uranus is in will be where you can suddenly lose and gain something of those themes all year long. For example, having Uranus in the 7th or 11th house could mean suddenly losing friends and/or close ones but also suddenly gaining them. Another example is Uranus in the 4th could mean having a family member die unexpectedly, or suddenly finding out a family member is pregnant.

Having Moon in the 10th house can indicate spending a lot of time working to advance in your career. You'll likely make big steps towarda your goals because of all the thought and soul you're going to put behind it this year. Same goes for Mars or Saturn in the 10th.

Speaking of Saturn, wherever Saturn is placed in your chart can show what you may have difficulties with or lose this year, but after working towards fixing it and learning from it, you will likely be awarded for your efforts in the end with getting back what you lost or gaining something better. Saturn is breaking you down and building you back up stronger and wiser. Saturn represents our life lessons for this year and makes us appreciate what we have by taking it away from us, but giving it back after we learn and grow.

Pluto aspecting the Moon or Ascendant will make you more sensitive but give you more emotional perseverance. You may become a person for people to lean on and look up to because of how emotionally strong and intelligent you'll likely become this year. But you may go through a destructive period this year that changes your perspective and warrants this change in your emotional psyche. Like Saturn, it'll tear you and all that you know down, to build you up stronger and wiser.

However, if Pluto is harshly aspecting your Sun, you might go through a long period of hardship or some kind of long lasting difficulty. This is because once Pluto starts aspecting your Sun, it'll stay in aspect of your Natal/Transit chart AND in many of your SR charts to come. So having it harshly aspected to your sun sign is NOT ideal. Pluto aspecting the Sun in SR will likely stay that aspect for 10+ years. You will have to change and transform a LOT during this period of your life, when either you want to or not.

Neptune in the 5th house could mean you focus on not very important things a lot this year. You'll likely focus a lot on yourself and what you want, but not what you need. You may neglect a lot of things you have to get done and procrastinate a LOT.

Uranus 9th house can indicate stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling a lot in general this year. You'll likely discover some new places that you like but never went to before.

Saturn 6th house can be a depressing placement for the workaholics, and over all anyone out there because it may feel like in the beginning of having this in your SR that no matter how hard you work that you're not getting anywhere with it and you're stuck in one place. You may feel more unaccomplished and/or unsuccessful during this year.

[charmedreincarnation]

A Simple 3 day manifesting challenge using Neville Goddard “isn’t it wonderful”

"Isn't it wonderful? This is the secret declared by the wise: I am what I want to be. And though outwardly I appear to be living in this world, inwardly I am what I want to be in the world of my own wonderful creating."

The words of Neville Goddard are so powerful because they remind us that we are limitless in our potential. We can become whatever we want to be, regardless of our external circumstances. All we need to do is start believing in ourselves and have faith in our unique capabilities.At the heart of Neville Goddard's message is the idea that we create our own realities. People often forget this and get bogged down in the day-to-day mundanity of life. But if we remain focused on our goals, we can manifest our dreams and craft our own destiny.

"Isn't it wonderful" reminds us of our divine nature, and our ability to create our own reality as God being a spark of the Supreme Being, and to live a happy and fulfilled life without feeling discouraged or hopeless. By believing and feeling positively, we can naturally manifest the life we want by using our own power of thoughts and beliefs.

we can attract more positive outcomes. "Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live."

by Using"Isn't it wonderful," we align ourselves with the energy of our desires and attract them effortlessly. "Ask yourself, 'What would it feel like if my desire were fulfilled right now?'"

It encourages us to persist in our affirmations and trust in the truth. "Persist in your assumption, and it will harden into fact."

It will evoke gratitude and celebration for the things we have and the things we desire. "Always be thankful for what you already have as it means you are already blessed with abundance."

The challenge

Day 1:

To begin with, it's important to understand the power of belief. Whatever we believe, we manifest. Let go of any limiting beliefs and remind yourself that you have the power to create the life of your dreams.

* Start your day by saying, "Isn't it wonderful that my dream life is manifesting right before my eyes." The reason this is in present rather than past, is to concur the fact that most of you guys truly don’t believe you can manifest in a day. That is why this is a 3 day challenge and not a 24 hour one. Three days seems to be the magical realistic number for tumblr, and sometimes it benefits you to go with your beliefs rather than fight them. Regardless, repeat this affirmation throughout the day whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively or doubting yourself. To make it more fun, create a "Manifesting Vibes" playlist with empowering songs to keep you in a positive and uplifted mood.

Day 2:

* focus on improving your self-concept. When we view ourselves positively, we attract positivity into our lives. Take a few moments to reflect on your self-concept. If there are any limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that need to be addressed, it's time to release them.

* Start your day with the affirmation, "Isn't it wonderful that I love and accept my godly ability to choose my reality.”It does not have to be all day at all unless that is how you prefer. It is a one and said quote because it is the truth and it does not need to be repeated.

To make the process simpler and more enjoyable, create a vision board of your dream life. Add pictures, quotes, affirmations, and anything that represents the life you want. Look at it every day and imagine yourself living that reality.

At night listen to this (suggested by @majasuniverse )if you like affirmations, or this for a spiritual audio I prefer to use this by @reincarnatedempress1, or this by @kikispiritualservices for my friends who like normal subliminals. Any of them work very well in my experience so it is up to your preference. Use it all three nights or preferably just the night of day 2 because you are more powerful than any audio or subliminal on the internet. If you have a habit of using vid sources, feel free to use it all of the nights, it will not hurt or hinder you in this challenge.

Day 3:

* On the final day of our manifesting challenge, let's focus on gratitude. When we appreciate what we have, we attract even more abundance into our lives. Start your day by saying, "Isn't it wonderful that I have so much to be grateful for and my dream life has manifesting easily and effortlessly."

* Create a gratitude journal and write down everything you're thankful for, including the small things. Whenever you're feeling doubtful or negative, read your gratitude journal to remind yourself of all the blessings in your life and manufestion that have already accrued in your life. You are already greatful because it is done.

That phrase alone should be a reminder whenever doubt occurs that creation is finished. It is a reminder that no matter what situation you are in, you have the power to create your own reality. When you declare this phrase, "It's done," you are making a conscious decision to accept what is and move forward. You are claiming your right to be at peace within yourself and with the world.

Remember. "Man has not discovered a method of bringing into manifestation that which he desires. He has always had it; he need only believe it into being."

The present moment is the point of power and attention, and so you should use it wisely to create your own reality.

"What you are conscious of, you are creating in this very moment."have faith that your desires are already fulfilled and to trust in your godly abilities.

And most importantly "Everything in creation is but an extension of yourself." When we manifest, we're not changing anything outside of ourselves in the physical world. Instead, we're changing our inner world and the way we view our reality.that’s why it can be instant or in this case three days.

Our thoughts and beliefs are like a filter through which we view the world. When we manifest, we're changing the filter, which changes the way we see the world. This means that everything we experience outside of ourselves in the physical world is simply a reflection of our inner world.

So no questions, don’t ask for clarifications because you’re already falling the challenge before it starts! It will work, and you’re doing it just right I promise there is no special trick to it or step you’re misunderstanding.

Anyways That is all! I wanted to make this challenge because as it’s my finals week I’ll be a little more busy as I’m trying to make it all to all the end of the year events and be present in the beautiful world and the people around me! I also limit my media consumption and I have been using tumblr more than other social media…but I have some shows I want to watch, so I’ll now have to reduce tumblr to keep my hours balanced ! I’m not on break or anything and I will be active.. just not as active so I wanted to put something out! I’ll see you guys soon and per usual happy manifesting loves!

[likealittleheartbeat]

Here's the conclusion to the longest atla meta I ever wrote (about platonic love in the show) for all the old and new fans coming into the fandom (def spoilers):

"Ideally, within the morality of the series (at least as it appears to us with no regard for whatever limits or self-censorship occurred due to its era of production and child-friendly requirements), “friends'' are maintained alongside romantic partnerships. Both Zuko and Aang’s separate romantic relationships blossom within the same episode that they declare their “friendship.” In fact, a vital plotline is the development of Zuko’s relationship with Aang’s romantic interest. While anyone in the fandom is well aware of the popular interpretation of romantic affection between Zuko and Katara because of their shared narrative, I have to point out that romantic feelings across the series are made extremely explicit through statements, blushes, and kisses. Zuko’s relationship with Katara can be better understood in the light of the coming-of-age counternarrative: While the love interest often serves as a catalyst for separation for a homosocial relationship, the friendly relationship with Aang’s love interest—seeking her forgiveness, respecting her power, calling on her support, etc—is vital for Zuko to ultimately create an environment of peace in which he and Aang can fulfill their destined “friendship.”

We can look at Katara’s femininity as the most important device for manifesting Aang and Zuko’s eventual union (and therefore the restoration of balance to the world). It’s her rage against misogyny that frees Aang from his iceberg, midwifing him into the world again after his arrested development, the complete opposite of a Wendy figure. It’s her arms that hold Aang in the pieta after his death in the Crossroads of Destiny, positioning her as a divine God-bearer. Afterwards, its her hands that resurrect Aang so that they together can fulfill his destiny. It will be these same hands with this same holy water that resurrect Zuko in the finale. Only through Katara’s decided blessing could Aang and Zuko proceed toward the fated reunion of their souls.

The importance of this critical relationship to femininity becomes relevant to a scene in “Emerald Island Players” that one might note as an outstanding moment of gay panic. Zuko and Aang, watching their counterparts on stage, cringe and shrink when, upon being saved by The Blue Spirit character in the play, Aang’s performer declares “My hero!” Instead of the assumption of homophobia, I wonder whether we might read Aang and Zuko’s responses as discomfort with the misogynistic heterosexual dynamics the declaration represents. Across the board, Avatar subverted the damsel in distress trope. There’s a-whole-nother essay to be written on all the ways it goes about this work, but the events in “The Blue Spirit” certainly speak to this subversion. It’s quite explicit that Zuko, after breaking Aang’s chains, is equally dependent on Aang for their escape. And, by the end of the actual episode, the savior role is reversed as Aang drags an unconscious Zuko away from certain death. To depict these events within the simplistic “damsel in distress” scenario, as The Ember Island Players do, positions Aang as a subordinately feminized colonial subject, denies him his agency, and depicts the relationship as something merely romantic, devoid of the equalizing platonic force that actually empowers them. The moment in the play is uncomfortable for Aang and Zuko because it makes Zuko the hero and Aang the helpless object. Aang is explicit about his embarrassment over his feminized and infantilized depiction in the play. And Zuko, newly reformed, is embarrassed to see, on one hand, his villainy throughout the play and, on the other hand, see how his character is positioned as as a savior to the person who has actually saved him.

At the heart of the series is not the idea of a chosen one or savior. Instead, we are saved by the ability for one person to see themselves in another person and to feel that same person equally understands their own soul. This is the ideal of platonic love. Platonic love between two matured boys—two boys within whose memories and bodies bare the scars of their queer sensitivities—is an essential part of the future of peace.

Many fans have a sense of this, labeling the relationship as “brotp” and “platonic soulmates.” I simply encourage people to acknowledge that platonic love, especially in this context, is not a limit. There is no “no homo” joke here. When we remark on the platonic love between Zuko and Aang (and across media more generally) we are precisely making room for friendship, romance, and whatever else it could mean, whatever else it might become.

While I find Legend of Korra lacking and in some ways detrimental to appreciating the original series, it’s finale interestingly parallels and extends this reading of platonic love in a sapphic vein. And most recently, She-ra Princess of Power was able to even more explicitly realize these dynamics in the relationship between Adora and Catra. Let’s simply acknowledge that Aang and Zuko’s relationship blazed the trail: that peace, happiness, hope, and freedom could all hinge on a “friendship,” because a “friend” was never supposed to be set apart from or less than other kinds of relationships. For the ways it disregards gender, disregards individualism, disregards dominion--platonic love is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. And a meaningful relationship is the foundation for a more peaceful world." 

[olivianyx]

WAKE UP CALL CUS Y'ALLS THICK ASS SKULLS NEED IT

⚠️ tough love rant, I prob won't be nice to y'all atp, swearing ⚠️

Y'all better stop asking others to manifest for you. Like wtf? You're the fucking creator. Tf are you asking to create it for the creator?? You're God. Just stop whining and complaining. Omfg just stop. Who said you can't manifest? Who said you can't have all the things you desire?? Nobody but you. Like aren't you stupid asshole just tired of that shitty life you're living?? How long are you gonna fucking live this life? It doesn't even benefit you, and you dumbass just keep complaining and thinking about the same old story again and again, and are repeating the same shit again in the 3d 🤦‍♀️ but still would go on complaining and complaining. Who's the ultimate power in here? YOU.

If you don't keep your thoughts in check and change your reality, who else will? You think a prince Charming or Flynn rider or Marilyn Monroe or mulan will walk into your life and change your entire destiny?? Gross. You're the one in charge and you should work on your mind set. You are the ultimate problem. And with this mindset you're never going anywhere but stay in the same loop until fAtE decides what's gonna happen to you. BULLSHIT. You only gotta work on your mindset alone. Like you don't have to climb the goddamn mount Everest or run 40 miles or do 1000 pushups a day to change yourself. Tf, you only just need to ignore unwanted thoughts and feed in thoughts which is favourable and live in the end, keep yourself fulfilled, that's it. No more bullshit.

Is it that hard?? Like just switching a thought with something favourable is hard? Bitch don't gimme that shit anymore. Trust yourself and move on. You are the only problem here. You don't focus on improving yourself and tell others to manifest or affirm for you. Like tf??? Why tf would you give free will to someone else that's not you? Why do you trust that person so much that you don't trust yourself? Nobody's gonna come with you till the end. Everybody and everything is a chapter and it'll keep moving forward, and you'll still be left behind still figuring out what went wrong.

STOP. JUST. STOP. STOP WITH THAT AND DECIDE THAT YOUR DESIRES ARE HERE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING ON IN YOUR FAVOUR.

Even if you're doing everything and nothing is working out, you haven't fulfilled yourself internally and just forcing the 3d to change. Wtf? You know the 3d obeys the 4d, then why are you inducing disgusting thoughts in the 4d and expect something like a miracle to happen in the 3d?? Make it make sense. You dumb dip shit, I'm gonna slap you in your dreams. I mean you're really dumb. Like just think whatever you want is already yours and it is. Cus the 3d should obey. Like whatever tf you want to happen is possible. Everything is possible. You ugly ass bitch just stop with that complaining and just go do whatever you want to change your thoughts.

Just fucking decide that whatever you want is already yours. It doesn't matter at all. The past doesn't matter at all. What you did 10 years ago doesn't matter. What you did 5 months ago doesn't matter. What you did 4 minutes ago doesn't matter. Only now exists. No past, no future. Just the present moment and that motherfucking concept called time doesn't fucking exist so stop stressing about that shit. Just decide. Bitch just decide that you just have what you want and the past doesn't matter. Just fucking be as if you already have it, don't stress about it. Suppose you have your phone with you, do you affirm for it everyday that it's yours? Or visualize? Hell no. Your phone is just yours. How do feel about it? Actually you'd feel nothing, you just KNOW it's yours. The same concept here you absolute idiot.

If you forgot to do sats, or you didn't affirm or if you wavered 3 minutes ago, or you had negative thoughts, like bitch those things don't matter as long as you come back to the track. It doesn't matter. Stop fucking stressing about methods or affirming. You already have it. Get that shit into your skull. I don't care what you do, I want y'all to start it today, start now. Just decide that's it. You're so dumb that you don't even make mental efforts that lead you to experiencing miracles dumbass. You're like really really dumb that I'm done. Like gimme a break.

JUST FUCKING DECIDE LIKE RN THAT YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, AND WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING ABOUT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRES BITCH.

Like why would you assume that nothing is changing?? There's always movement and you dumbass don't notice it. Even if you see that there's no movement, that's because you idiot assumed there wasn't any. You gotta take matters in your own hand you dip shit. Don't fucking get triggered by the 3d cus it's just your older thoughts and nothing else. Your new thoughts that you focus on should also be reflected in the 3d like instantly. There's no time in between, like really fuck that shit. The minute you affirm, it's already manifested in the 4d bitch. You don't gotta stress at all you dumb ass. The 4d is the ultimate reality. You just gotta be fulfilled here. How? By LIVING AS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT OR LIVING IN THE END. The 3d will catch up as you remain fulfilled in the 4d, like almost instantly. Is this a harder concept to understand?? For example, you wear a green dress and look in the mirror, you see the reflection wearing green dress too. Cus it's a fucking mirror and it shows you what you wear. Suddenly you wanna wear a purple dress, and you change your dress and look in the mirror and the mirror shows you purple dress cus you're wearing it. THE SAME FUCKING CONCEPT HERE. THE GREEN DRESS IS THE 4D AND THE MIRROR IS THE 3D. YOU CHANGE THE 4D (DRESS) FIRST IN ORDER TO SEE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING IN THE MIRROR (3D). HOWEVER, YOU GOTTA CHANGE THE DRESS TO SEE THE CHANGE IN THE REFLECTION. What y'all do is, go fucking break or beg the mirror to show you that you're wearing a purple dress when infact you're still wearing the green one 🙄🤦‍♀️ and complain that it's not showing what you want. Like which planet are exactly from?? Like tf is wrong with your dumbass brain?? Make it make sense. Change the dress and go see the changed reflection of the dress.

Just fucking stop with that bullshit and go fucking have whatever you want. You're God. Like what validation do you fucking need?? You're the validation. Your validation is enough. If your desires don't manifest instantly or like in less than a day, then you aren't fulfilling yourself internally. You aren't fulfilled yet. Cus it's impossible for the delay. Time doesn't exist. There's no fucking delay. It should be instant. Like just fulfill yourself, do whatever you think works. Don't go so something someone posted on the internet and complain about not getting results dumbass. You already have it all. You're the main character, so stop behaving like a stray dog.

Peace out <3

[thecosmicangel]

Everything that you believe in only works because you believe in it, you have given it the power to become real.

Religion , crystals , tarot, divination, affirmation, placebo effect or any tool, practice, method & set of beliefs only work & are true because you have given it the power to be so. Prayers are answered because you stood strong in your faith (believe/assumption)that it will be answered (you persisted in your faith). The power that they all have in common is the power you have given it. The power doesn’t come from the outside it comes from within. The power is in our subconscious mind.

YOU & ONLY YOU create your reality & destiny , you have the power to change your destiny at any moment because infinite realities/ parallel realities exist in the quantum field. The biggest illusion has been that power/god is outside of us when it has always been within each one of us. So please don’t ever stop believing in your power, and the capacity you have to have whatever you desire.

The same divine intelligence/ power that created you and me plus everything else also resides WITHIN YOU & by default you hold the same power. By believing in your godly power you believe in God, the all, divine intelligence whatever name you want to call it.

All religious texts, spiritual teachings, philosophers, esoteric & occult teachings are all saying/implying the same thing over and over again in different ways, we are reminded we hold the power, create our realities and are the gods of our reality. The message is there but only “the ones who have eyes to see and ears to hear” will receive the message. It is everywhere in movies, tv shows, religious scripture, spiritual teachings, and books.

Now I’ll give you a few examples of how it is written & spoken of everywhere. Followed by my interpretation of it.

Side note : The Bible is not meant to be taken literally, but to be understood at a metaphysical level.

Genesis means "origin, creation, generation". The book of Genesis is about creation and the birth of all things in existence.

"And God said, let their be light, and there was light" Genesis 1:3

God affirmed and it was so.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him” -Genesis 1:27

We are God, we are a reflection of god , we hold the same power as God, God/Divine intelligence is In us all. We are all God experiencing itself through different ways.

Jesus says "The kingdom of God is within you" Luke 17:21

God can be found within you as it has always been within you. If we are made in the image of God then we don't need any other validation but our own self. Everything you want comes from you not outside of you.

Jesus says " Varily I say unto you, except ye be converted and become as little children ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven" Matthew 18:3

In other words dare to dream & have a big imagination just as children have. Create & imagine whatever you desire, no dream is too big or impossible if you dare to dream it in imagination. Use your creative child like imagination to create your heaven on earth. Your imagination is the kingdom of heaven. Don’t ever lose your imagination. Don’t rely on logic or the 3D to create, if you can see it in your minds eye then it is very real & possible.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

“For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Matthew 7-8

If you want it, decide & assume you have it and you will receive it. It is as simple as that.

“so is my word that goes out from my mouth:It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” - Isaiah 55:11

Everything that you assume will become manifest, you must not have any doubts that it will not be so, because it is already done. Know that everything you want is already yours, simply affirm it to be yours

“Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.” -Matthew 6:10

Similar to the saying “As within, so without, as above, so below.” Everything & everyone is a mirror/ reflection of your mind & what you assume to be true. The world is a mirror of your assumptions.

"Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow. " - Varys from Game of Thrones

There is 7 Hermitic Principles. The first principle is the principle of mentalism.

" The all is mind; the universe is mental"

In other words everything in existence, our outer world is all a mental construct. It is a hologram projected out based on subconscious programming. Everything we see is first created in our mind by programming of our subconscious & imagination. The world is a mirror of our assumptions. What we believe to be true is projected out into the outer world. If you want to see change in the 3D then you must first make the change within.

Now do you see how everything points back to YOU? How things are made possible by you & you only?! Do you understand the power of your mind?? Do you get that the 3D is a reflection of your inner mind (3D reflects the 4D). Do you understand that you are the only validation you need? Do you understand that imagination is real and not the 3D?? Do you understand that everything that exists and can possible exists is true and real? It all exists in some reality, there is infinite realities. Do you see how things have the power to be when you give it your awareness? Do you see how you are a reflection of God working & experiencing itself & creation through you= you are the operant power & god of your reality?!!!

xoxo, the cosmic angel ⭐️🪽

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Flower Moon in Sagittarius ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Yo! Full Flower Moon in Sag was on 23rd May; have you started to feel more light, more confident, more sure-but-chill in the trajectory of your Destiny? Sagittarius is the ruler of the 9th House of philosophy and the foundation of politics…but I dunno why lately I’ve been getting this notion of ‘destiny’ attached to it🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it’s just the time we’re living in~ This year, is the year so many Lightworkers and Starseeds get on with their real missions, and sure, more of the general public are also coming to awakening. Since the ‘battle’ ahead is going to take a toll on many of us both on the spiritual and material levels, the Higher Realms are making sure all of us warriors of Light basic needs are met first. You see, Light is essentially information. The body uses a lot of energy to digest Light—to digest information. Light needs to be integrated well with your cells for it to be useful at all.

With this beautiful Full Flower Moon in powerful and passionate Sag, all of our dreams of material abundance are flowering and blooming majestically with the natural rhythm of the Divine Order. Dance, children. This is a time to fully immerse yourself in feeling abundant, safe and stable, knowing that this security is only getting stronger and realer as the weeks and months go by! <3

Romance, friendship, community, company and communication; all of that is rolling out for everybody as we celebrate the end of the spring faery magick. This summer, fears and anxiety are completely dissolved in the salt waters. Play around, babe <3 Sleep and rest as much as you like. You’ve done so well! You’re been strong for so long, so now you can be soft with yourself~🧸

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Pile 1 – Not Butting In On Other People’s Karma Nomo

a u t h o r i t y – 10 of Cups

Babe, I think this season you’re finally coming to a realisation that you deserve to be surrounded by a Soul Tribe and Soulmates. Like I’m seeing you’re no longer interested in settling for people whose hearts are not connected to you, those whose values clash with your own. You’ve learnt the hard way just how exhausting it is to be involved in other people’s drama. Originally, it’s not like you yourself are that much into drama. Or if you did before, you’ve grown up enough to not want it anymore~

Right now, you’d much rather be in your own company and figure out ways to connect with your core again. There’s a lot of soul-searching that’s needed for now. All of the habits—and ways of thinking—you’ve absorbed from other people are being flushed out at this moment. I think it’s more like you’re weaning off their influences LOL What’s truly important right now is your own peace of mind. You’re sure from the depths of your heart that this is the real way to manifest a Soul Tribe <3

s u p r e m a c y – 3 of Cups Rx

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

Unlike the other Piles, your supremacy over yourself this season is more about your sense of freedom in pursuing interests and activities, even studies, that genuinely suit your tastes. You’ve sacrificed enough of your physical and mental energy, as well as your creative and spiritual aenergy on being there for other people. Now you’re saying no. You’re in the midst of building a healthy boundary. Some of you could have been doing this for a while now and this is your confirmation that you’re managing just fine! Don’t doubt yourself <3

Seems like quite a number of you could have doubts every now and then…wondering if you’re turning into an antisocial bitch for choosing to be alone and saying no to helping people or attending social gatherings—or not replying to chats immediately XD So, this is your confirmation that protecting your peace and sanity is not selfish in a bad way. Maybe it’s a bit antisocial or whatever but it’s not like you’re hurting people? You’ve got to work on some things on your own, right? So that’s alright.

PsychicBigSis on YouTube says, ‘Protect your energy, even when it gets lonely~’😏

p h i l o s o p h y – 10 of Wands Rx

Yup, this philosophy is all about you realising that people can only be responsible for their own consumption and manifestation. If you consume shit media and entertain shit ways of thinking, then you manifest shit Reality as well. Now you understand that you can’t save people from the hell of their own making. Their own mindsets and what they choose to entertain are what’s creating their Reality. You understand now that you want no part in it.

Because, babe, you know from the depths of your Soul that you’re meant for a much better Reality. A Reality of abundance and glory and happy, where you get to be authentic and comfortable in your own skin. One way or another, I think your Spirit Guides have sent you an understanding on how bad it is to be involved in other people’s karma. Now you understand people can only resolve their own bad karma because that is their lesson.

If you haven’t necessarily come across this notion, I kinda think Sadhguru prolly has something meaningful to say about it <3

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Pile 2 – True Love’s Kiss Rooted in Self-Worth

a u t h o r i t y – 5 of Pentacles

Oh ma god, babe! What kinda heartbreak have you been through recently? Or maybe it’s an old wound that hasn’t fully, completely healed? But anyway, I’m seeing you rise above these heartaches. More like, you’ve transformed the way you think about these things. About human connections, relationships and friendships, including the essence of a familyship, of course. The betrayals and/or abandonment you’ve experienced have truly taught you that you deserve a soulmate-shit relationship and friendships! <3

You’ve learnt the hardest way that wrong friendships could destroy your Life! For some of you, maybe your past relationships or friendships weren’t necessarily socially wrong or whatever but being with the wrong people destroyed your heart; it destroyed your faith in people; and it’s such a sad thing. You’re now on your way to healing, fully, from those pains. This Flower Moon is assisting new seeds of trust and companionship to bloom in your heart. Everything’s gonna be beautiful again in the end, I promise you ^_~v

s u p r e m a c y – 2 of Cups

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

See? 2 of Cups is a soulmate card whose focus is on an equal give and take. With the right people, you won’t even have to ask because they’re always giving Love to you anyway. It’s not to say that we should disregard real, direct communication, but more about how we, when in the company of the right people, will never feel like we have to ask for the bare minimum. This reading is basically trying to convince you that you’re not asking for too much when you ask for soulmate-flavoured connections HAHAH

It will be given to you. Because you have asked the Universe for it. Because you have done what’s necessary to transform your own point of view. Because now you want it and believe that you’re deserving of it. It will be yours~ Sorry, bitch, I didn’t make the rules. That’s just how the Law of Assumption(?) works ;P You ask for it, you work towards it, you believe in it, you get it. Not settling for any less than IT anymore. Keep your gaze at IT, vibrations high and standards even higher <3

p h i l o s o p h y – 8 of Cups

This part is probably gonna repeat some things, after all, your current aenergy is quite straightforward. You’re basically learning that it’s OK to leave behind connections that no longer fulfil you on an emotional level. For some of you, especially if you’re a Fire-dominant person, it seems like you’ve truly learnt to separate your expectations of a professional relation from a personal connection. I think you’ve come at a point where you no longer expect a deeper connection with somebody you’re just working with, and you’re fine with it.

You’re patient enough to wait for a true Soulmate friend or group of friends that will prove to be ‘your people’ until the very end. You’re also patient enough to wait for a True Love’s kiss from a divine being who values themselves completely and healthily the way you’ve learnt to value yourself. You may not really know how you’re gonna connect with these people; you just believe that when the time is right, the Universe is gonna take care of everything <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 3 – The Wheel of Fucking Fortune Fucking Turning Around, Bitch~

a u t h o r i t y – Page of Pentacles Rx

Who’s been trying to tackle you, bitch? You had massive enemies, didn’t ya? There’s been this huge-ass envy aenergy targeted towards you and your spiritual progress to a point where it was messing up your physical manifestations? Your studying and healing and spiritual rehab and creating new pathways were all jammed by negative thought-forms? Damn, you survived all of that tho? Here you are feeling better than ever and I know that you know that I know that YOU know you’re coming on TOP of your Game!

And you’re just fucking started. No, no, this isn’t the end of your story. This is the end of a fucking ARC. And your aenemies—yup, with an ‘ae’ coz they’ve been up in your aenergetic ass the whole time LMAO—are somehow getting this ANNOYING inkling that you’re coming together with your greatest Destiny! I think…your aenemies are getting this inkling by observing every single thing that’s going wrong in their own lives LMAO Bitch, bad juju backfiring!

All of the fuckers who’ve wished harm and even death upon you are seeing those very wishes manifesting in their own lives ROFLMAO

s u p r e m a c y – 8 of Pentacles

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

The way I see it, whether or not you’re still seen or in contact with those old stale farts, they somehow know that you’ve been working so hard at transforming your Life and that things are changing for the better. This message I think will resonate more for those of you who have a social media presence or friends/relatives who are talking to each other or something like that. But even if you’re currently living a completely solitary Life, it could be that your aenemies have been getting dreams about you; probably seeing you shine and be happy and successful or something. It could be a very intuitive thing like that.

At this point in time, it’s possible they could’ve changed as a person themselves and some of them are regretting their actions in the past. Many of them who are thinking about you are admitting loudly, NOW, that they’ve always seen you as a hardworking, honest, decent person who wouldn’t slight another person. And they’re bitterly—very bitterly—realising that this is why the Universe is rewarding you for all of the hard spiritual work you’ve done on yourself for yourself, and those whom you genuinely care about who’ve also genuinely got your back.

p h i l o s o p h y – 5 of Cups Rx

So, your aenemies messed up your chances to get your fortune cookies? Fret not, bitch <3 The Universe is in an active phase of sending you a million boxes of fortune macarons straight from the ‘authentic French confectionary’ section of the Cosmos! Take that! <3 What even is this illustration? XX’D

Some of your milder enemies (if that’s even a thing) are prooobably gonna try and get on your good side now that you’re proving yourself ‘useful’ to them again. This reading is advising you not to take anybody back, babe. ANYBODY. These people wished so much harm on to you once, what makes you think they wouldn’t do it again?

Trust that you’re ABSOLUTELY NOT missing out on anything by excluding these stinky-ass bitches from your blessed Life. If you’re gonna spew that Love & Light bullshit first, spew it on yourself first so you can shield yourself from what is NOT Love & Light. You got that?

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, you’ve gotta check out PsychicBigSis on YouTube because her collective messages could have meaningful revelations for what you’ve been dealing with <3

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[justdarklr]

In Stars And Time: Providence

An In Stars And Time x Persona AU

Created and Written by JustDarklr, Co-Created by mizzle-moths

Card I – Providential

Spoilers for In Stars And Time below the cut! Go play the game before reading!

Table Of Contents —

Card I — Providential ( Reading Now )

Card II — Awake

You… have trouble believing this is the end of your journey. You should recap everything in your head real quick. Just to make sure you remember everything, mostly. Your memory’s never been that good, after all.

It was almost a year ago now that The King appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Possessing immense Craft Power, he did something never heard of before— he spread his Curse across the country of Vaugarde, freezing in time everything in its path. With Dormont’s House of Change under his control, he patiently waits, for he knows his Curse can only be undone if he is defeated.

His victory would be all but determined, if not for The Housemaiden, Mirabelle. She is the only survivor of the House of Dormont, in which the King froze everyone inside in time and locked the gates. Everyone says she was blessed by the Change God themselves with the power to fight back the King’s Curse… which makes her the only one able to save Vaugarde, bound by her destiny.

When you met her, she had already been traveling with The Fighter, Isabeau, and The Researcher, Odile. They were trying to get the orbs necessary to open the House’s gates and defeat the King. You helped them defeat a rather strong Shadow, and, seeing your strength, they asked for your help. You… had nothing better to do, so you decided to accompany them!

Shadows are… a manifestation of grief, or something. You never researched them, but Odile seemed to know a bit about them, so you just took what she’s said at face value. They usually take the shape of figures from old Mythology or works of Fiction, though how they know of those forms is unknown. Some speculate that these Shadows had once been people, and they take the form of whatever they had the most attachment to in life upon their turning, but that theory has never been proven, supposedly. Either way, they’re a bit of a nuisance.

Anyways— a few weeks later, you met The Kid, Bonnie. Meeting them completed your little ragtag team of heroes. Though, Bonnie is mostly just your snack master. That doesn’t make them any less important, however!

You saw a lot of Vaugardian cities during your travels. Some frozen, some not, and you’ve done your best to sidestep the slowly encroaching Curse. Even still, though… you all kept going.

Mirabelle kept going to honor the Change God’s blessing, save her beloved house, and save Vaugarde. She didn’t have any other choice, after all— she is the only one who can.

Isabeau came with her after Vaugarde’s Defenders themselves refused to help. A bunch of cowards, probably.

Odile came to satisfy her curiosity about Vaugarde. She’s from another country, which makes sense, and she’s supposedly here to research… whatever she’s researching. … and because, in her words, “leaving the fate of a country to a bunch of young ones would give me an ulcer”.

Bonnie came to save their sister, frozen by the Curse. You worry about them, sometimes.

… you’re here because there’s nothing else for you to do. What else are you supposed to do except travel with them?

Once… Mirabelle asked if you were okay, following them on a journey to save the country. She felt guilty, like she was forcing everyone to follow her on a hopeless quest.

You wanted to put her at ease, so you said easily and truthfully that traveling with everyone was the happiest you could remember being. She… looked upset.

You cringe just thinking about it, honestly. Probably not the most considerate thing you could’ve said to someone with her problems at that moment!

But… tomorrow, one way or another, your journey will come to an end.

You tell everyone as you arrive that you’re tired, and you’re going to go find someplace to nap. They nod, and you’re off.

But… before you do, you have a stop to make. Just for some peace of mind. So, you head towards the favor tree on the west side of town.

… this tree is said to grant wishes. You’re not too sure about that, but… you may as well, right? You heard everyone else was going to, anyways. And, who knows, maybe it’ll come true?

You try to rack your brain for something to wish for. After a moment, something pops into your head. You’ve heard Isabeau mention something in passing before, haven’t you? That he wants to be a clothing designer, you think. That seems like a good wish to make. And, who knows, maybe it’ll help his dream come true, too.

You take a leaf from the favor tree, and whisper your desire into it three times.

“… I wish to be able to wear clothes Isabeau has made.”

… you pause, for a moment. And then whisper something else into the leaf, in addition to your first wish.

“I want to stay with them.”

This journey has been the most fun you can ever remember having. You… you love them. Your party. You’ve made such good friends on this journey, and you want to stay with them. Who wouldn’t? They’re your friends, after all…

You then fold the leaf over, and let it drift back into the shadow of the tree. You have a good feeling about that!

Afterwards, you get a move on. You find a clearing near the south side of town, slowly crouching down and splaying yourself across the soft grass. Feels just like a soft bed, you think. You haven’t slept in one for who knows how long. It’s just been sleeping bags, mostly. As you close your eyes, you feel yourself drifting off to sleep nearly instantly. You didn’t realize how tired you were…

… you dream of a strange room, covered in strange shades, with a strange man sitting in the middle of it. What is this place? You feel yourself walking forward, standing in front of the strange man’s desk, as he opens his mouth to speak.

“Well, isn’t this surprising? A brand new guest, and one with quite an intriguing fate at that. I wasn’t expecting anyone for some time now.”

You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off.

“Ah-ah. I apologize, but I will have to make this quick. Your nap is going to be rather short, after all.”

The man clears his throat, then places his hands on his desk, interlocking his fingers. You want to ask what he means about attendants, but you can’t get any words in before he starts speaking once more.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room. My name is Igor… I am delighted to make your acquaintance. This is the space between dream and reality, mind and matter. It is a space only those who are bound by a ‘contract’ may enter. And it seems that such a fate has already befallen you, even without your knowledge.”

What? But you don’t remember signing any contract. You… you could have, though. Maybe you’ve just forgotten. Maybe it was that insignificant in your mind.

“Now then… why don’t you introduce yourself?”

Finally, a chance to speak. You open your mouth once again, ready to belt out all the questions you have— but instead, all you’re able to say is your name. “Siffrin.”

“… Siffrin. No middle name, no last name. Is that correct?”

You nod. Stars, that’s annoying. Why can’t you talk? Dream logic, or something?? Ugh, this dream sucks.

“I see. An interesting name, but I suppose it is one befitting of one surrounded by as much mystery as you. Now then… why don’t we take a look into your future?”

A set of tarot cards appear on the man’s desk. He flips one over, and examines it closely.

“Ah… I see. The tower, in the reversed position. This card represents resistance to change, and the delaying of the inevitable…”

He flips another card over. You already don’t like this.

“The star, in the reversed position. A card representative of despair… I see.”

He flips one last card over. This has to be fake, right? It’s just a dream, without any meaning. You’re sure of it.

“… Judgement, in the upright position, representing reflection, and rebirth.”

The tarot cards disappear, and the man smiles at you. Like he has been, this entire time. Stars, you haven’t really gotten a good look at this guy— you’ve been kind of out of it, but something is off about him. His skin isn’t lightless or darkless, nor a shade inbetween, his smile never seems to falter, and his nose is far too long to be normal. Who is this man? … Well, you suppose you know the answer. ‘Igor’. A strange man, in a strange room, in a strange dream. That sums up this situation rather well, you suppose.

“It seems you will face a great trial in the near future. One in which you resist oncoming time, and face despair and hopelessness because of it.

But fear not. You will overcome this trial through reflection, and in the end, you will face rebirth. A new day to come. Yet, if you fail to overcome this trial, you may be forever lost. My duty is to provide assistance to our guests to ensure that does not happen.”

Your head hurts. This is a lot to take in at once.

“I would like to introduce my assistant to you, but it seems they’re not here as of yet. They’re late. But they will be here soon enough to accompany you throughout this perilous journey.

We shall attend to the finer details another time. Until then, farewell…”

Your vision faces to black, and…

You reawaken in the field to someone calling your name. Your head hurts from that dream. Too many weird shades to take in… but at least you’re back in your lightless and darkless world, now. Normalcy. That’s what you need right now.

… who’s calling your name?

CARD I — END

Next Card ~ Awake

[blackflash9]

Whatever happened to the Davenport Homestead?

Eseosa arriving for training at the Davenport Homestead (c.1804) "Once Connor came along, it flourished again for several decades, even surpassing its former glory. Then, it suddenly vanished early in the 19th century. Any manor that can suddenly vanish is both interesting and unsettling in the same measure, though probably not a great investment." - Shaun Hastings, (c. 2012) [Database: Davenport Homestead]

The mystery of the Davenport Homestead remains one of the most perplexing enigmas within the AC universe, primarily due to the myriad factors that could account for its disappearance. A community and establishment like the Homestead doesn't simply vanish without a significant cause. According to the Initiates website, Connor's last recorded activity took place in 1804, when he trained Eseosa, the grandson of Adewale. Given that the Homestead was still in existence then, its disappearance likely occurred after that date.

The factors leading to the Homestead’s decline may also mirror the complicated legacies of its last known guardians, Connor and Shay. Their parallel narratives set the stage for the tumultuous events during the American Civil War. Shay Cormac, as detailed in the "Last Descendants" novelization, eventually returned to America, living long enough to train his descendants as Assassin Hunters. The ending of Rogue hints at a possible future confrontation between Connor and Shay, which could have contributed to the even decline of the (previously named Colonial) American Brotherhood within New York.

Shay's grandson, Cudgel Cormac (c.1863) | Art by: SunsetAgain

This decline is starkly illustrated by the rise of Varius, one of the few Assassins who survived there into the Civil War era, even with Connor—who revitalized the Brotherhood—at the helm. In contemplating their legacies, one might deduce that Connor and Shay forged a truce between the Assassins and Templars that endured for a significant time before their respective deaths. This possibility aligns with Connor’s rare willingness to seek peace with the Templars, a notion few Assassins entertained before him. Shay, while critical of the flawed ideologies of the Brotherhood under Achilles, would have recognized that Connor’s vision surpassed his mentor’s in prioritizing the welfare of people over rigid allegiances.

Both men shared a deep commitment to doing what was right, irrespective of their differing ideologies. Their interactions may have been marked by meaningful debates about the merits and shortcomings of their respective orders, echoing the possibility of cooperative endeavors throughout history. In Unity, we see hints of such interactions, and even William Miles acknowledges the existence of attempted truces between the Assassins and Templars when questioned by Desmond. This raises the question: could Connor and Shay’s alliance have been one of those fleeting moments of cooperation? However, this perspective does not fully explain the Homestead’s disappearance. Other historical events, such as the War of 1812, Tecumseh's Rebellion, and the earliest form of Manifest Destiny, also loom large in this period, potentially influencing the fate of the Brotherhood and its stronghold. It’s plausible that Connor, much like Altair before him, recognized that the Homestead had become a liability—a beacon that exposed them to their enemies. This awareness might have prompted him to relocate the Colonial Brotherhood to various hidden enclaves across America.

As the notion of Manifest Destiny gained traction, different sects of the American Brotherhood likely experienced varying degrees of success, especially after Connor’s passing left them without an influential leader to guide them amidst the resurgence of Templar influence through members such as William Magear "Boss" Tweed, a powerful business tycoon and politician, and Shay’s descendants. Thus, the interwoven fates of Connor, Shay, and the Davenport Homestead present a complex tapestry of alliances, conflicts, and historical forces that shaped the Brotherhood's legacy during a tumultuous period in American history.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Davenport Homestead: An Assassin Fake Out? Other sources, such as from former Ubisoft writer James Nadiger, as well as the fourth illustration of the Assassin's Creed Reflections comic, do give the implication that the entire "disappearance" of the Homestead was supposed to be an orchestrated trick from Connor and the Assassins to throw off the scent of the Templars.

James Nadiger: "Connor would have had his family and friends, and the American Assassins would have played pivotal roles in stuff like the War of 1812. And the idea that the Davenport homestead vanished or that he died alone would all be a fake out to throw the Templars off their scent."

Retcons (?) aside, it’s important to note that the Homestead had still vanished by 2012 when Desmond discovered the precursor key left behind by Connor. This only raises several questions to ponder about: 1.) Why the Fake-Out? – If the Homestead’s disappearance was staged, what prompted the Assassins to resort to such drastic measures? Was it a strategic move to protect a (precursor) key asset?

2.) Impact of Historical Events – How did events like Tecumseh’s Rebellion, the War of 1812, or Manifest Destiny possibly influence the decision to abandon or conceal the Homestead?

3.) Connor’s Legacy – Did Connor anticipate the need to decentralize the Brotherhood, moving away from a single stronghold like the Homestead to ensure its survival? On that note, what the hell even happened to Connor?

4.) Templar Influence – How involved were the Templars in the Homestead’s fate? Did Shay, his descendants, or other Templar factions play a role in its disappearance? If not, why does the sudden move happen, as Shaun implies?

5.) Effectiveness of the Ruse – If the disappearance was a ruse, how effective was it? Did it successfully deceive the Templars, or was it only a temporary measure? --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In conclusion, the mystery of the Davenport Homestead's disappearance leaves us with more questions than answers. Whether its vanishing was part of a strategic ruse by the Assassins or influenced by external historical events, the Homestead’s fate remains a key enigma within Assassin's Creed history. As we explore the possible connections between Connor’s legacy, Templar schemes, and the broader forces of Manifest Destiny, it’s clear that the Homestead’s story is intertwined with the survival and evolution of the American Brotherhood during a pivotal time.

[psychics4unet]

✨ Your Next Big Breakthrough Is Closer Than You Think! Which Pile Will Reveal It? 🔮💫

Hello! ✨🌟 Let's get into these piles and uncover the powerful energy awaiting you. Trust your intuition as you connect with the cards, and know that the universe is always guiding you toward your breakthrough! 🙌🌈

Pile 1 The Fool, The Star, and The Magician are powerful cards that speak volumes about your journey ahead! 🌟 The Fool invites you to take that first step into the unknown with excitement and faith. It’s a card of new beginnings, a chance to start fresh! The Star brings healing, hope, and inspiration - everything you need to shine bright and overcome any obstacles. 🌠 You’re being encouraged to stay inspired and optimistic as you move forward. And then we have The Magician, a reminder that you have all the tools you need to manifest your desires. 💫✨ The cards together are telling you that your next big breakthrough is about taking risks, stepping into new opportunities with confidence, and knowing you are fully equipped to make it happen. 🔮 You have the power to create your reality! This is a time to trust the universe and take that leap of faith, because amazing things are on the way! 🚀

Pile 2 The Lovers, The Chariot, and The Empress are cards full of dynamic energy, love, and growth! 💕 The Lovers suggests that your breakthrough might come through a deep connection or partnership, someone who shares your values and dreams. 💑 Whether in love, friendship, or business, this connection is key. The Chariot comes next, reminding you to take control of your path and push forward with determination. 🏎️ Success will come when you harness your inner willpower and keep moving forward, no matter what challenges arise. And with The Empress, you’re being told that this breakthrough will be abundant and full of creative potential. 🌱 The Empress nurtures, grows, and brings prosperity, showing that not only will you achieve success, but it will be the kind of success that nurtures your growth and brings abundance into your life. 🌸 Together, these cards tell you that love, determination, and creativity will fuel your journey, and your breakthrough will be full of growth and prosperity! 🌺

Pile 3 Strength, The Hermit, and The Wheel of Fortune come together to create a reading filled with resilience, wisdom, and divine timing. 💪🌙 Strength shows that your breakthrough will require inner strength and courage, a reminder that you have everything you need inside you to face whatever comes your way. 💖 The Hermit suggests that this journey might require some time alone, reflecting, and gaining wisdom from within. 🌿 This is a time for introspection and personal growth, where you might need to look inward to find the answers you seek. And then we have The Wheel of Fortune, the card of destiny! ⚡ It tells you that your breakthrough will come when the time is right, like fate stepping in to guide you toward the next chapter. ⏳ The universe has a plan for you, and things will shift in your favor when the timing is perfect. 🌟 This is all about trusting the process, embracing change, and knowing that your breakthrough will come when you least expect it, as the universe aligns everything for you at just the right moment. 🌍✨

I hope these messages resonate with you! 🌈✨ Whatever path you choose, know that the universe is always supporting you. Don’t forget to leave some love 💖, like, comment, and reblog to spread the positive vibes! 🌟✨

✨💫 Personal readings are available for just $7, where you can ask 7 questions and get more insight into your unique journey! 🌟✨ Click here for more details:

Love and light to you! ✨🌸

[valiantstarlights]

[The Proposal AU]

Inspired by: @voukkake 's art, and what @valeriianz wrote.

I have totally forgotten that I said Betty White's character should be played by Destiny. 😂 And while I changed my mind about the blanket just now, I'm still pushing for him to do the forest ritual scene. 💃 Anyway, here's my contribution to the dreamling The Proposal AU. 🖤

"Hey, are you both decent?" Johanna, Hob's younger sister, calls out as she raps a quick knock on the door of Hob's bedroom.

Hob, currently lounging on the bed and reading a novel, rolls his eyes and says, "Dream has never been decent once in his entire life, but I suppose we're both fully clothed at the moment."

Dream, who is getting some editing work done at Hob's desk, glares at him from the corner of his eye.

Hob beams at him as the door opens and Jo enters with one hand covering her eyes, while the other held out a wrapped package for either of them to take. "Just delivering this," she says. "Gran said it came in the mail this morning."

"It's already open," Hob notes, putting his book down as he moves to take it from her. "Who is it from?"

"Oh, uh, the entire Endless family? There are a lot of signatures on the letter."

Dream notices an envelope peeking out of the package, and it, too, has been opened. He stands quickly and slaps Hob's hand away before grabbing the letter himself.

"Well, okay, that's all," Jo says mysteriously as she turns back towards the door, trying to navigate her way out of Hob's room with one hand still placed firmly over her eyes. "I'm gonna go and find my noise-cancelling headphones and some duct tape. Just give me like a ten minute headstart, okay? Please? For my sanity?"

"I have literally no idea what's going on," Hob says to the room at large: to Dream, who is reading the letter accompanying the package with a furious look on his face, and to Jo, who is using her other arm like a blind man's cane as she exits the room.

"You'll know soon, Hobsie!" Jo calls out as she crosses the threshold, and immediately slams the door shut. Hob then hears her tearing down the corridor to her room like the hounds of hell are chasing her. "Remember: ten minutes!" she yells out. "Not one second earlier!"

Helpless, Hob turns to his boss. Fake fiancee. Whatever. "Wanna clue me in on why my sister is acting weirder than usual?"

In response, Dream holds up a hand, nonverbally telling him to wait until he finishes reading the letter. A few seconds later, he scoffs in disgust and throws the letter towards Hob, who scrambles to catch it.

"The last paragraph," Dream spits, tone utterly disgusted, then stalks back towards the desk. When he starts typing again, it sounded like he was manifesting for his fingers to turn into hammers so he could destroy the keyboard. "And once you're done reading, burn both the letter and that..infernal package, will you?"

Hob, mystified at what the fuck is actually going on, turns the paper over to read the last paragraph.

'We are sending this letter with The Babymaker, which, if you have already forgotten--like you have forgotten all about our entire family's existence for the past few years--is the Endless family blanket that has been passed down through the generations, in the hopes that you and your fiancee will be blessed with many children.'

Hob chokes on his spit as he reaches the end of the paragraph. "What the fuck?"

"Precisely," Dream says bitterly. "No doubt my parents and a couple of my siblings find this entire situation amusing."

"Okay, first of all," Hob says, very gingerly setting both the package and the letter with the envelope at the farthest corner of the room from the two of them, being very careful not to touch the blanket's fabric, "Who the fuck names their blanket The Babymaker? And second of all, of all the heirlooms to pass down to your children, it has to be the blanket that each and every ancestor used when they fucked? Really?"

"Now you understand why I do not interact with most of my family members," Dream says. "This is not the first time they have gone to great lengths to humiliate me, although sending the blanket to potentially humiliate me in the eyes of my soon-to-be in-laws stink of desperation."

The more Hob learns about Dream's biological family, the more he wants to punch them in the face. No wonder Dream acts like he's under attack all the time. Heck, if Hob grew up in a home where he was treated like shit, he wouldn't emerge prickly and wary. He'd be a full-blown bastard who punches first and talks it out never.

"We could send them a letter back," Hob offers, a little cheekily to infuse some humor in the situation. Dream is clenching his jaw so hard, and a small, miniscule, microscopic part of Hob wants to run his thumb gently over where the muscles are bunched up. Dream was having a pretty okay day before all this. Like, sure, he was muttering that the writer whose work he's currently editing is an idiot, but that's his usual thing. And Hob likes listening to him rant and read ridiculous passages from the manuscript.

(He'd never admit that, of course, but...he's come to like it. He sometimes even looks forward to it.)

"And what shall we say, hm?" Dream challenges, hostility stiffening his shoulders. "That we are grateful for their gift and we are keen to invite them to our wedding? Because this entire thing might be a sham, but I would rather eat hot coals than have either of my parents walk me down the aisle, or my twin siblings be part of the wedding party."

Hob gives in to the temptation and walks towards his desk. He ignores the way Dream sits up even straighter, like he's ready to get into a physical fight, and gently runs his thumb over Dream's jaw.

Immediately, as soon as Hob's thumb makes contact with Dream's jaw, Dream's eyelashes flutter, and his brows furrow. He looks utterly confused. Was he expecting Hob to hurt him? Hob grits his own teeth at that, but takes care not to let the sudden flare of anger show on his face.

When Dream looks up to meet Hob's gaze, Hob could still see the guarded way he holds himself, but there's also yearning in the line of his neck. Hob rubs his jaw again, and does not remove his hand from where it cups Dream's face. He could feel Dream lean infinitesimally closer, and he wordlessly lets him, continuing to run his thumb back and forth in a comforting gesture.

"Disclaimer," Hob says softly, at the sudden hush of the room. "What I'm gonna say next is a joke at your family's expense, so please don't commit violence against my person."

Dream's eyes actually sparkle at that, and the corner of his lips lifts the tiniest amount. "Go on, then," he says. "I welcome jokes at my family's expense. I will even give you bonus points if you make fun of my parents and my twin siblings."

Well. Alright then.

"I was thinking," Hob says slowly, "maybe we should write back and say we didn't need the blanket at all, since I totally got you pregnant weeks ago when we fucked at your place, just after you gave the most romantic proposal ever. The doctor said we're having twins, and since I'm a total simp for you, I will allow you to commit all sorts of crimes, including not letting our children meet your parents and your twin siblings, and burning the Endless family's precious blanket heirloom at the very first opportunity."

"You would dare invite the wrath of the entire Endless family, both the living and the dead, just to please my arsonist tendencies?" Dream asks, but his eyes are crinkled in laughter, and he's actually smiling.

"Yeah," Hob says, suddenly feeling a strange, tender sensation in his chest. Dream absolutely looks breathtaking when he smiles. "Absolutely."

"Then come," Dream says, and stands. Hob watches him pick up the package holding The Babymaker, as well as the envelope and letter that Hob had set aside. "We still have an hour before dinner, and I would rather not sleep in the same room as this wretched thing."

Fuck, Hob thinks inanely, mind still replaying how Dream's smile widened as Hob talked shit about his family. They were really gonna burn The Endless family's highly inappropriate and very disgusting heirloom.

"Hob," Dream says, now on the threshold of Hob's room. One eyebrow was raised in a manner that should definitely not make Hob's nether regions interested. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," Hob says quickly, and rushes to Dream's side. He feels like he's gonna trip at any moment. "It could prove cathartic for you," he says, a little stupidly. He has to say something so he doesn't think about Dream's smile and his imperiously raised eyebrow. "And symbolic. Like watching bad memories burn and be reduced to nothing."

Dream hums and takes Hob's arm as they walk down the stairs to go outside. It's a bit chilly out, but not too much. Apparently, it's more important to Dream that they burn the damn thing than pause for a second to don a jacket. "Reword that, and I'll allow you to use it in your novel."

"Great," Hob squeaks out at Dream's fond tone. "Definitely will remember that one."

He has already forgotten what he just said, his entire being focused on Dream's warm hand on his arm, and the scent of his own shampoo.

"I will remember for you," Dream assures him. "Eidetic memory, remember?"

Hob was about to say that that is something he will definitely not be forgetting any time soon, except it was at that moment that they hear Jo holler all the way from her room, "Finally found my noise-cancelling headphones! The two of you can fuck now!"

Their eyes meet, and there is a moment of silence, before Dream lets out the most frightening laugh Hob has ever heard, except all he feels is giddy and fond and slightly off balance, like something huge just happened, and his entire world has been changed irrevocably.

[oraclekleo]

[Pick-A-Pile]Messages for you from the cards

Hello and welcome to a short PAC of mine.

This time I’m not asking the cards about anything in particular. I allow them to deliver the kind of message they feel like you should know now.

If you struggle picking a pile, it might be that none of the messages are supposed to reach you at this moment. If you come back in a month, maybe you pick the pile instantly because then it’s gonna be the time for you to receive the message.

If in general you struggle picking piles, it might be that as well. Sometimes you are not supposed to pick one because the message is not meant for you. Keep that in mind.

Disclaimer:

All my tarot readings are for entertainment purposes only

This is a general timeless reading - take what resonates

May include mature, NSFW, 18+ or triggering content

Minors should not engage with my blog

Tarot is self-development tool (yes, even future spouse readings are self-development tools), it’s not a life manual

Whatever the cards say, you always have a freedom of choice

Never base important life decisions in solely tarot readings

Maintain moderate consumption of tarot readings, it’s like any other addiction, it becomes unhealthy when it’s too much

Masterlist: Pick-A-Pile (PAC) Masterlist

Let's Play: Tarot Games 🎲

Messages for You from the Cards

Pile 01

Cards: 2 of Cups, 10 of Swords, Ace of Coins (Tarot of Tales), 38. The Milk of the Mother Flows, 42. She is Moonlight-Shy (The Solitary Witch Oracle), Star Anise (The Herbal Tea Magic for the Modern Witch Oracle)

There’s an end of discussion leading to important decisions - it’s time to stop analysing and debating and it’s time to start working on your goals.

Relationships are nurturing and lovely, you are rewarded with the same amount of care you have put into them.

Follow your intuition but keep your eyes open - you might have a tendency to romanticise what’s actually not that good in the merciless light of reality.

Someone in your life might present themselves well but they are actually toxic for you. It’s time to show them the door.

Your manifestations are likely to come to fruition now. Whatever you have wished and manifested for will finally materialise in your world.

Meeting your soulmate or just someone very dear to you is suggested.

Now is the time to embrace your personal magick powers. The time of waiting is over, be the best version of yourself now. Devote to your craft.

Your energy is at its peak and flowing easily, your actions now will influence your future many years ahead.

It's a time of good fortune for you - you might want to play the lottery.

Pile 02

Cards: 10 of Wands, 10 of Cups, Ace of Wands (The Light Seer’s Tarot), Cheetah, Lion (The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Oracle), Purification (Sacred Destiny Oracle)

It’s time to de-clutter, purify, clean and cleanse, sort and make space for what’s about to come. New vibrant energy can’t enter your life when it’s clogged with old, stagnant and blocking energy. Clean yourself and space around you. Eat lightly and get rid of things you don’t love anymore.

Time of abundance is ahead of you, especially if you read this in the summer season. Abundance of what you desire will come to you like a summer storm - swiftly and showering down.

Don’t waste your energy and resources. Observe and be smart with your decisions. There are battles worth fighting but there are also those you should avoid. Learn to recognize them.

Your potential and energy are endless but you need a purpose and motivation to use them well. If you are lacking any of these, take a moment to think about your ‘why’.

Your creativity is radiating and burning, you might experience an increase when it comes to brilliant ideas now.

Everything is connected. Use your intellect and imagination to see how people and situations interact. You might feel an urge to start writing a story or poem.

Finally some happiness arrived at your home’s door. You might feel blessed in the circle of your close relatives or friends, maybe celebration is at hand.

If your project or relationship becomes a tedious and tiring one, don’t lose hope and keep going. You are just about to release the burdens and reach fruition of your labour.

It might be about time for you to do something for your community. In relation to the above, you might feel called to release some content for your social media followers, or you might want to donate your old clothes to charity, or maybe you simply bake a cake for your grandma for her birthday.

Pile 03

Cards: V The Hierophant, Knight of Swords, XI Justice (The Slavic Legends Tarot), L The Ram and Dahlia, XII The Lizard and Pitcher Plant (Woodland Wardens Oracle), Hazel (The Wisdom of Trees Oracle)

Set your mental and emotional boundaries, especially when dealing with people. Some dramas have nothing to do with you, don’t waste your energy on them.

If you feel stuck or stagnant, remember the lizard's ability to let go of their tails to escape from predators. Maybe it’s time for you to drop something in order to move forward.

You are determined and focused on your goals and if you maintain like that, you can achieve whatever you want. Be headstrong and gracious at the same time and no obstacle stands a chance against you.

It’s time to establish a little more balance in your life. Which aspects take most of your attention and which ones you neglect recently?

If you are dealing with people and their dramas, remain impartial and unbiased. If you lean to any side, it will only bring more chaos to the situation. Keep a cool head.

Make meticulous plans but don’t get stuck in the planning phase. Once you are done debating, take courage and execute what you have drafted.

Ride the storm - while others hide from challenges, you should see an opportunity to shine against adversity. You have that personal power and charm to lead masses in times of crises.

You might feel the need to study, examine and evaluate rules, norms, laws or customs. Maybe you follow some traditions despite them being a burden to you. Maybe some laws are outdated and only promote injustice. It’s time to take in a bigger picture and work on improvements.

Your older friends or relatives possess wisdom. Come together at this time and learn some crucial information or skills from them. Is inflation giving a hit to your budget? Your elders might know some frugal tricks to help you. Maybe your sensitive skin doesn’t benefit from creams you buy and your grandma has some time proofed home remedy for that. Seek for long-term wisdom instead of quick hecks.

Thank you for reading!

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[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER SEVEN - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Within the next few minutes, I’ll be dead. I knew this the moment I saw that blue-eyed freak reappear after when I thought I killed him. Fucking sorcerers and their cursed technique bullshit. Maybe I was too confident thinking I would win the second time. I doubted myself at first, but then I calmed down… No. 

 I was just too confident.

 A world like this wasn’t meant for a monkey like me. I was born into a fucked up family that treated me like shit because I didn’t have any cursed technique. The scar on my lip reminds me of it every day. I got over it, though. I accepted this was my faith. I served my purpose, and it was time for me to go.

 Still, I can’t help but wish I made it out alive. That I had a little bit more time. 

 “Nah,” I replied, vaguely. 

 How am I supposed to answer some cliché question like that? 

 Any last words?

 Why would I tell him that? 

 Tell him about the thoughts and images that’s in my head.

 Tell him that I had a wife who I actually saw some good in me. Good enough to get pregnant and raise a kid together. Tch, me? Toji Fushiguro? A husband and father? I never thought I would live to see the day. And of course, it didn’t last long. 

 My wife died because of an incurable sickness. I never felt pain before. Not when I’m standing here with half my body blown off. Not when my family tortured me. But the day she died, I felt pain. I didn’t cry. I just felt empty. Felt like I had no reason to be decent anymore. How was I supposed to raise a kid by myself? 

 She told me I was going to be okay. 

 I wasn’t okay. 

 I’m a fucked a person.

 A fucked up father.

 . . . I was never made to be a fucking dad. Me selling my son to my family is better than what I could’ve done for him. It wouldn’t make any difference if I was or was not in his life because I would never be good enough to be a father. . . A person. . . But I met. . . Her.

 In my final moments, I think of my late wife, my son, and—

“Dad!” Megumi’s deafening voice wakes me up. “It’s almost five. We have to go to the store.”

  What the…

 What the fuck was that? 

 Lately my mind has been clogged with thoughts and what feels like memories I used to have. Could never decipher them, but that dream was probably the clearest I had. 

 Me being on the verge of death (wouldn’t be the first time), apparently being killed by some blue-eyed fuck. Giving Megumi away to the Zen’in Family? Like fucking hell. I would endure the shit they put me through every day for the rest of my life knowing it would keep my kid safe. I just don’t understand these dreams I’ve been having.

 Are they signs? Is my judgment day coming where I would have to atone to my sins? Some bad shit about to happen to me? Megumi? I don’t fucking know. 

 I don’t care for karma. I don’t care for faith, destiny, or any of that manifestation bullshit. But I do believe in purpose, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have any. That there isn’t any.

 I’m a dad. For what? To fail my son. I was a husband, had my flaws but shit, I tried. And for what? To lose her only after being parents together for eight years? It was unexpected. Nature calling, and at the moment, I never hated whatever fucking god above so much because they took her away from me. 

 From me and Megumi.

 Please take care of Megumi.

 It’s like I can hear her lecturing me about all the times I had our kid eating take out or having him walk home alone from school. 

 Take care of Megumi. . . Yeah, I’m trying.

 I have to do better.

 I need to.

 The little purpose I have is left for him.

 “If you can’t go anymore, can you at least give me the money so I can go by my-”

 “No,” I interrupted, clearing my throat. “No, let’s go. Sorry, kid. Your old man was dozing off.”

 Here’s another thing about being a parent. Being around other parents who force small talk while their kids go off and buy shit. Because we’re parents, that means we have to share funny stories and randomly show baby photos to people you don’t even fucking know. Why? I don’t know, but I bet the mom next to me that has been talking my ears out for the past fifteen minutes could tell you.

 Having Megumi as my kid means he’s going to have most, if not some, of my traits. One of them being how much of a loner I am that appreciates his space. After my failed attempt to walk around with the kid to maybe have some father-son bonding, I figured I just stand at a comfortable distance and let him do his own thing. 

 No pressure. I’m on his time. Not the other way around.

 Still, me standing alone was not a fucking invitation to talk to me.

 I respect women. I do, but I’m two seconds away from telling her to fuck off in the nicest way possible. 

 Though, I have a reason why she approached me to begin with. 

 How she’s invading my space, trying her hardest for me to look at her tits. The extra pout she gives her lips while talking to me. How she’s still asking me one off questions, despite my vague one word answers.

 She’s looking to get fucked, but she’s just too shy to say it. 

 Attractive for most part. Probably five-foot-ten, maybe in her late thirties. Strong perfume. Hair drops right below her jaw. 

 Hm, not my type. 

 “So, here’s another photo-”

 “Sorry, why are you showing me these again?” I abruptly asked. 

 “I—” she stumbles over her words, pushing her hair back while giving me a timid smile.

 “Seems like you had other reasons.”

 “Like?”

 I shrug. “To get fucked.” I can tell that my brute honesty throws her off a bit, but she gathers herself. 

 “Are you offering?”

 “No.”

 She’s probably taken back by my response. I wouldn’t know because I casually walked away to the next aisle. 

 Back in Tokyo, I gained attention, but in America? The women here look at me like I’m a fucking piece of meat. Not that I don’t mind, but shit. 

 What would help if they didn’t waste both our time with trivial chit chat and just cut straight to the chase. 

 Anyways. 

 Told the kid I’ll be walking around the store if he needs me, and of course he replies with whatever . Like I should be surprised. 

 He’s my son, after all. 

 Pretty packed for a Tuesday night at the store. Guess all the parents are out buying their kids shit, too. While Megumi is getting his supplies together, figured I could go to the meat section to make dinner tonight. Probably hot pot for the kid and offal for me. 

  Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this parenting shit right. You know, letting Megumi be by himself to buy things while I roam around. Probably not because I see families throughout the store and they look happy, for the most part. 

 The look on their faces, the light conversations they’re having about who knows what. . . I can tell this is going to be one of those fucking nights for me. 

 Remember there was a point in my life where I was content with the small family I created. My wife. Megumi. Living in the shittiest apartment building back in Tokyo and barely making ends meet. 

 I came from a wealthy family. One of the wealthiest in Japan. I was supposed to be a silver spooned brat that was grateful to be born into money, only later to be beaten and emotionally abused, which eventually left me in the streets. 

 And you know after all the shit those Zen’in fucks put me through regardless of the amount of money I had access to, I’d always choose what I had with my wife and my strained relationship with Megumi. 

 But of course, any good that happens to me is only temporary. Can only imagine how long I have left with Megumi until he turns eighteen and moves far away from me if he decides to go to college. 

 Is it wrong for me to wish my kid would cut me some slack? Probably, but that’s not something I would ever ask him. Though, I can fucking admit that it stings how he addresses me has changed over time. 

 Daddy to Papa, now to Dad. Soon he’ll start being formal and shit by calling me father or even my first name. I guess I should be grateful he’s calling me anything at all. 

 Damn, if I liked alcohol, I would’ve said I need a drink right now. Maybe a few. Being in family settings makes me feel the emotion I hate feeling the most. Vulnerability . 

 It makes me feel weak, like I’m pitying myself. I don’t care for pity. I don't care to say I didn’t deserve to experience trauma. It happened. There’s shit I can do about it. No point for me to keep thinking about it. 

 It’s just hard when your son doesn’t even want to be seen with you in public to go school supply shopping. 

 I need to clear my head. 

 Already worked out twice today, and clearly that’s not working. Maybe some pussy. It’s been a while since I last had sex. Maybe I need…

 Y/N .

 Here I am again thinking about her at the most random fucking times. I said I need her. Would I ever tell her that?  Most likely not. 

 How can I tell a woman that I don’t know that I need her? To be around her and have her bubbly personality overshadow my grumpiness. To stare at her in dead silence and think how fucking pretty she is. How good she smells. How can I tell Y/N that? 

 She’s good company. 

 That’s all she is…

 Soon she’ll see I’m no good. 

  “Miss L /N told me you’ve been doing good in class, kid.”

 Been home with Megumi for about two hours now. School shopping is not fucking cheap, to say the least. My job pays well, but the cost of shit in America is still something I’m trying to adjust to, especially in comparison to Japan. 

 Megumi is the only reason why I haven’t gotten broke yet. 

 “Yeah,” he responds flatly.

 I stuff my mouth with a piece of meat. “Want to talk about it?”

 “Not really.”

 “Alright.”

 There goes that loud silence. 

 I continue, trying to keep conversation. “Food's good?” He nods. “Think you got everything you needed for school?”

 “Yes, Dad.” Annoyance fills his voice, making it very clear that I’m bothering him. 

 “Everything’s okay?” I asked. 

 “Can’t we just eat in silence? Why are you forcing conversation?”

 Oh.

 “Sorry, kid. Just trying-”

 Megumi pushes back his chair, standing up with his plate in his hand. “I’m going to my room. Thanks for dinner.”

 What the fuck am I doing wrong?

 I talk, he’s annoyed with me. I don’t talk, I feel like he’s being neglected again. Not sure if I’m giving Megumi too much space or just enough space, but it’s kind of fucking hard when I don’t how he feels. 

 When you come from an abusive family that doesn't know how to give or receive love, it passes onto you and potentially it’ll pass onto your child. 

 That’s what I’m trying to prevent. 

 I was scared as shit when my wife first told me she was pregnant. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to be a dad? I don't know what it feels like to have one. But I knew I was going to be okay if I had her by my side.

  I’m a fucked up person. . . A fucked up father. 

 “Fuck, I need to take a walk,” I say to myself. 

 I get up to put the leftovers in the oven so I can finish later. Before I walk out the door, I tell Megumi I’m stepping out for a while and guess what he says? 

 Whatever. 

  Patience, Fushiguro. Patience.

  Be kind to yourself, Toji . That’s what Y/N told me the other day. I have messaged or contacted her at all since I got her number yesterday. Maybe I need to talk to her… see her… just for a little bit. 

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discussion question #3 — the more we see toji and megumi's relationship, struggles are shown between them. more so, on toji's part. do you think he should continue making small talk or allow megumi to come around whenever he's ready? looks like toji is afraid to let that happen because he doesn't want megumi to feel neglected. thoughts?