#manic complaints about shit

[manicali]

Fml. I have a whole ass two week project due tomorrow. I have done a whole lot of nothing and now Im paralyzed by overwhelm. Fuckkkkk im dead.

[autumn-foxfire]

IT'S TIME! FIST OF BLUE SAPPHIRE! THE NUMBER ONE KAISHIN MOVIE!

How interesting though, that this movie is set after Ran and Shinichi are officially dating but they went for KaiShin instead with ShinRan sprinkled in from time to time. I guess they were like "you had your cheek kiss, let the gays have something" and we appreciate them for doing so!

And that card is how poor Kaito is dragged into this sinster plot T-T

I appreciate the movie actually understanding Ai's character better than Gosho does. This should have been her response when Shinichi had pestered her for the antidote for the school trip.

I still don't know why Yuusaku hasn't used his "many" connections to help his son get a passport but Kaito's solution worked too. And is a lot gayer.

Kaito really likes to dress up as cute girls XD We stan a gender non-conforming thief.

We don't acknowledge enough how gay Kaito's "I've been waiting a long time for you," is. We know honey. The boy still believes that he's straight but he'll get there.

Did Kaito strip Shinichi to put all that tan on him? I just need to know. Because that is also very gay of him (also creepy but he was only did it because he needed Shinichi's help and he knows that Conan can't be in Singapore so he's just being a good future husband protecting his identity).

Shinichi always sees Kaito as so handsome.

The second best part of this movie beside the Kaishin? We get really cute Makosono.

It's funny that Sonoko says "they have good vibes between them" but we know that Ran is already aware that this is Kaito and she's acting to catch him off guard. She's a better actor than Shinichi and now I believe that she's always acting when it comes to Shinichi.

Kaito and Shinichi are already being gay with one another. Come on guys, get a room. Shinichi has just been kidnapped and he does not give a shit because it was his husband that did so.

Agasa totally made that suitcase. Jii definitely had him make it. What I'm saying is that Agasa is a bro and wanted Shinichi to have a date with his boyfriend.

Shinichi and his love for Sherlock Holmes T-T

Ran is very pretty in this dress by the way. It's a shame that her wife isn't here. My only complaint about this movie is that there is no Sera even though she definitely should have been.

This movie shows us why KaiShin are such a great couple with one another. There's no tension between them, they're always on the same wavelength and it's amazing.

Makoto showing us why he's an amazing boyfriend and why he and Sonoko are so great together!

Sonoko is very gorgeous in this movie.

I love how he panics. When Shinichi panics he drops all pretense but with Kaito, he keeps his grin on his face, probably because of how he's trained his poker face but all it does is make him look manic XD

Kaito's love for sweets is being seen too T-T

Sonoko is the most supportive girlfriend.

It can't be a double date Sonoko with Ran, Ran's wife isn't here sadly. But you can have a double date with KaiShin.

Ran: This is definitely not Shinichi. He is not a smooth talker at all. And he would not interact with my dad that way.

This movie actually also shows us Ran's intelligence, though it's only revealed at the end. What I'm going with this is that SHE. SHOULD. KNOW.

One complaint, again. But how come Makoto gets to have muscles. It's not very apparent but they're there. Ran should get them too.

We love a self-confident Kaito. And Shinichi being exasperated at his husband for being so.

The jealousy Makoto has towards KID is actually one of the few in the series that I don't mind because Sonoko is very open about how she is attracted to KID (though she has assured Makoto her heart is his and even here she makes sure he knows that).

You know Leon saying Kaito's hands belong to that of a magician is also something Ran uses as confirmation that this isn't Shinichi.

You know Kaito is annoyed because it's Shinichi that deserves all the praise that Kogoro gets.

We know that Ran knows this is Kaito, so I'm willing to be she also knows that Arthur is actually Conan and that's why she's okay with this small child who is all alone following them around. Let her be the intelligent women that she is.

Kaito, my smart boy.

AND HIS FIRST HEIST STARTS.

HE'S SO ACROBATIC. HE'S INCREDIBLE. Although, it's because he's so acrobatic that I find it hard to believe his hands are "supple" like it's said. Gymnasts are prone to calluses on their hands due to it. I guess the excuse is that Kaito wears gloves, but that doesn't actually stop them from forming.

MY POOR BABY GOT TASED. AND THEN ALMOST DROWNED. This is the Kaito goes through it movie.

Leon: I am one step ahead.

Shinichi: Hold my beer.

KAITO JUST SHOOTING THE GUY WHO GETS IN THE WAY IS SO FUNNY. He knows who the danger is.

Kaito your adrenaline junkie is showing.

He's so goddamn pleased that Shinichi helped him.

Shinichi: Got to save my idiot husband.

He looks so good in this movie.

And Shinichi just casually waiting for his husband to pick him up is so goddamn cute of him T-T THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD T-T

They're so adorable, flying over the city while discussing a case. It shows how much trust they have in each other.

And there's the obligatory Shinichi and Ran. I can't even be made about it because I'm being fed so well.

Shinichi is so flustered that Kaito is actually interested in why he chose his name. He's not used to it.

AND HE'S SO CONCERNED FOR KAITO.

Someone pointed out that Kaito doesn't hold his hand over his heart, he usually holds it more to the left. So there is a reason he does so for Shinichi and that reason is gay, gay, homosexual gay.

Lol I just noticed he stole Shinichi's shoes and put him in sandles.

And the acting award goes to Ran! She's doing all of this just to catch out KID and we love her for it!

In fact, she knowing that this is Kaito but chosing not revealing that it is actually gives support that she to my idea that she knows Arthur is Conan and that there must be some way he brought Conan here that was illegal so the only way he can actually get him back home is to let Kaito be arrested in Japan. In this essay I will-

ANOTHER GREAT THING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. Ran is showing off how much she enjoys martial arts too.

The distance Ran put between herself and Kaito is so interesting (and Sonoko doesn't even notice, suggesting she'd do the same for the actual Shinichi).

I'm assuming that Kaito raided Shinichi's wardrobe because Shinichi likes pink shirts with white. He wore it in London and now Kaito is wearing pink and white in Singapore.

I love Kaito's disgrunted look in the background when Kogoro says he won't get the belt. Those are fighting words.

Awww, Shinichi looking back at Kaito was adorable. He's curious but also concerned about his husband as he knows he's being led into traps.

MAKOTO T-T DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.

TIME FOR CUTE MAKOSONO. And Ran is a bro letting Sonoko have some alone time with Makoto, using Kaito as an excuse (she also wants to investigate).

We love Ran.

KAITO OUR GENDER NON-CONFORMING QUEEN. I love how he flirts with the inspector to return his phone too. My queer king. (Yes he is a king and a queen).

Kaito, did you really need to drop your skirt first? Or have you always wanted to do that.

I like to believe that Kaito only noticed the letters because he's learnt a lot from his detective boyfriend.

ALSO ANOTHER THING A PERSON NOTICED THAT WASN'T ME. This time around, Kaito included a propellor on his handglider. There was another Kaishin movie where his detective boyfriend complained about having to land and Kaito telling him they had no choice as it's not like he has a propellor on his glider. Me thinks, he doth use one now due to that.

MY DEAR KAITO

This is why we don't like police. They shoot indiscriminately.

What's with this face Shinichi. Disappointed? Or concerned? Both. He can't have his husband framed.

Nah, definitely concerned.

MY POOR BABY.

I adore the way Sonoko looks at Makoto.

She adores him so much.

And Makoto adores her and just wants to do everything in his power to keep her safe T-T Him catching the knife between his fingers was so cool of him.

SONOKO.

She's going through it too. She and KID can bond over their suffering.

KAITO THE JANITOR T-T Keeping up the act even though he's been injured himself and is in pain.

MY POOR BABY CAN'T EVEN GET PROPER TREATMENT. SHINICHI GO BANDAGE UP YOUR BOYFRIEND.

He's so calm about Shinichi seeing him as his true self too.

Hehe, half naked.

NO ONE SPEAKS ABOUT HOW GREAT THIS MOMENT IS. KAITO GIVES EVERYTHING BACK TO SHINICHI, ASKING FOR HIS FULL SUPPORT TO SOLVE THE MURDER BECAUSE THATS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS HIM. AND SHINICHI DOES SO. HE DOES WHAT KAITO ASKS.

Shinichi does not need a room with two beds. So, what I'm saying is that they shared a bed. And Shinichi is the blanket hog while Kaito sleeps with barely any and snores. Actually, with how wrapped up Shinichi is and how there is so little on Kaito but the bedding is going in the direction of Shinichi, I think we can confirm this is a double bed they are sharing, as well as a blanket. Noting this down.

OOF. He just lets Rishi fall to the hard floor. Shinichi you are a cruel man but I can excuse you because you want to solve this case before your husband is hurt any more.

MAKOTO AND SONOKO ARE SO CUTE IN THIS MOVIE.

We don't get to see Sonoko and Makoto as casual as they're being so it's nice to see them interact.

TIME FOR KAITO'S COMEBACK.

Awwww, this isn't what Sonoko wants Makoto T-T She wants you to be at your happiest and she knows that is fighting against those who are strong. She doesn't want to be a burden to you.

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT SONOKO'S RESPONSE TO FEELING LIED TO! IT'S WHAT WE'VE WANTED WITH RAN AND MORE. SHE IS UPSET MAKOTO ISN'T BEING HONEST WITH HER AND WON'T LET HIM TRY AND LIE TO HER. QUEEN BEHAVIOUR.

I know what you are Kaito.

RAN JUST DOESN'T CARE SHINICHI IS SCREAMING. She totally knows that Conan is Arthur (and that Shinichi is Conan) and is letting him tell of his boyfriend.

Kaito gets Shinichi down to a tee, even to how he abandons Ran T-T

TIME FOR SHINICHI AND KAITO TO BE GAY MASTERMINDS WHO SOLVE THE CASE TOGETHER. The gay part is very important to it.

Look at these babies being dramatic together as they sum up the case so far to try and solve it.

This is how playful teasing is done by the way. Neither of them think less of the other so the teasing is just that, something that neither of them mean. This can't be done between Ran and Shinichi because we know he actually views her that way.

KAITO BOUGHT SHINICHI A SNACK AND IT'S SO CUTE. HE'S NOT EVEN BOTHERED BY HIM REVEALING THE TRICK, JUST CURIOUS HOW HE KNEW IT WAS COCONUT WATER.

I love Kaito using casual magic tricks with Shinichi too. It's just so cute and so Kaito.

Shinichi: Haibara, can you figure out who this is? KID took it

Ai: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WITH KID?!

Shinichi: ...I'll explain later

Ai, already used to Shinichi at this point: Fine, don't be stupid.

It's kind of funny that Leon says he'll build a new city and he's not wrong because Shinichi and Kaito do blow it up for him.

Kogoro: Did I just get mugged?

LMAO Ai knows Shinichi so goddamn well. It's why they make great partners.

Kaito is having fun playing detective, isn't he.

Shinichi: My idiot husband fell right into the trap

Kaito: As if you haven't fallen for things like this too

And Rishi fell into Shinichi's trap.

Poor Sonokoa and Makoto.

LOL Kaito be careful of your detective. You don't want him falling off your shoulders.

SHINICHI AND KAITO DOUBLE TEAM.

LMAO Shinichi shading both Rishi and Leon. He's the king at making you feel stupid XD

Kaito: Actually the detective is closer than you think.

TIME FOR THE CLIMAX.

MAKOTO T-T He'll protect Sonoko with his life.

RAN. YES. SHE GETS TO BE INCREDIBLE. ANOTHER SCORE FOR THIS MOVIE.

And it's Shinichi who gets to be the damsel in distress who is saved by his man T-T As we love!

AND IT'S TIME FOR SHINICHI'S BEST PLAN TO DATE. HE ASKS KAITO TO HELP HIM BLOW UP A HOTEL.

I WANT TO SPEAK ABOUT HOW KAITO IS CARRING AROUND AND PROTECTING HIS LOVE WHILE MAKOTO IS DOING THE SAME. CAN I?

Kaito is one hell of a shot. And he has no ascended to the god of fighting as that was said to be the only thing to make the bracelet fall off.

Obligatory Shinichi saving Ran where it wasn't really needed but I'll allow it because we've been fed so much AND-

She gets the last move. So it's okay.

And Kaito can't forget his purpose. He is a jewel thief after all. And it makes a good reason to get people to shoot at him.

Kaito loves to make people bungee jump. He has to make them into extreme sport lovers too.

Oooh. What do you do two do in the bedroom. Makoto is very good at tying knots I see.

TIME FOR THIS SHIP TO MOVE. Kaito and Shinichi are so insane for this.

Makoto fighting with Sonoko on his back is also insane.

I JUST REALISED HE WAS HOLDING HER HAND! I ADORE THEM.

Sorry, that's just really funny.

Shinichi and Kaito did this. I fucking love them.

And Kaito has fun having the last word. King.

Sonoko has a fringe? I just thought it was as long as her bangs.

ADORABLE!

Shinichi got to say the line. Can't have a movie without it.

RAN IS THE MVP OF THIS MOVIE AND THIS IS WHY. SHE IS AN AMAZING ACTRESS AND PUTS SHINICHI TO SHAME.

What a warm welcome home for Kaito.

Again, it's not cute for Shinichi to insult Ran because he means it. Also she doesn't KNOW YOU FUCKING ASS.

Well. We'll ignore that last moment.

[mdhwrites]

I'd like your authorial thoughts on the following:

Given Luz' and Amity's interactions across season 1 of The Owl House could Luz be considered to have been Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl? If so, how do you see that trope evolving (or devolving) over the remainder of the series?

So I have a romance writing lesson I'm going to hijack this ask for but first to answer it: Probably? I feel like one could complain a lot of good romance stories use a character like this so I don't know how useful it is as a label. Not only that but a common complaint I have about Lumity is how Luz doesn't actually try to do jack shit to push back on Amity or actually question her on her shitty behavior. Like sure, we know she doesn't like Amity being mean but at best we get a single confrontation about that that Amity doesn't take seriously. It's never a problem actually addressed and Luz never tries to evoke any other life lessons out of Amity. It's why Amity feels like most of her changes just happen because "Girl pretty" because little actually pushes her to change except the mere existence of Luz.

HOWEVER

This stops HARD come S2. Even by Winging it Like Witches, we see Amity going out of her way to manage Luz's emotions and fuck ups. Where she has to be constantly accomodating because otherwise Sad Luz is a thought she just cannot fathom, even when in shit like Looking Glass Ruins, Luz seems to think an apology is enough, or how she won't change by Reaching Out about actually caring about Amity's well being (such as not noticing her girlfriend getting hurt) but also now with her breaking her word and continuing to lie to her, both things that will also come up in Thanks to Them where she's willing to lie to Amity for months before sending her to her death on the Isles without her.

This begs a bigger question: What of these two that attracted them to each other originally is still there?

We know pretty easily why Amity likes Luz. Explicitly she thinks Luz is kind, pretty, earnest, stuff like that. If we want to read into her character in S1, since it's pretty clear Amity is already crushing by Adventure in the Elements and probably started getting her feelings in Lost in Language, it's because Luz is honest with her, open and free in ways that Amity wishes she could be or wishes her family was with her. It's classic opposites attract. It also helps that early on in the show, her family seems to have transactional love while Luz seems to not require people to prove their worth to her. With Luz, she knows she's always got her heart in the right place, will make up for what she's done and Amity doesn't have to fear what Luz is thinking because if she were to ask Luz, Luz would tell her. Hell, that last part is literally what Eclipse Lake is about. Luz's openness and honesty.

Aaaaand then S2B starts with Luz keeping secrets and lying to Amity. She also steadily becomes less of a weirdo, over the entire show honestly, and more just this troublemaker who seems to mostly do things just for herself. Who can easily be manipulated through the fact that she's selfish, such as with Philip and with Eda's mother. She very easily starts ignoring other's problems because of her own, like in Reaching Out, even as she'll claim she's focusing on you but all of her actions are the exact opposite. This is how we get "I don't want to distract you," while she is willing to distract Emira while healing Amity or joins the tournament because she finds Amity being in underground witch fights that could potentially severely injure her, on a day when Luz is thinking about death and loss, as BORING. Also, instead of Amity not having to ever prove herself to Luz, to not have to worry if Luz is going to stop trusting and believing her, Luz CONSTANTLY isn't trusting or believing of Amity and so Amity keeps having to try harder and harder to make Luz happy. To manage her emotions when, you know... That is kind of the exact opposite of why Amity was probably attracted to Luz. Did she understand she'd have to save Luz from herself? Sure but not because Luz would literally lie to everyone and shirk responsibility. She expected it to be because she accepted jumping Dead Man's Gorge so one of her reading kids would stop being picked on.

So yeah, why does Amity still like Luz? I genuinely expected them to break up in Reaching Out because of this. Because Luz showed that when she's miserable, she is NOTHING like what Amity saw her as and trauma and pain is not an excuse to be a terrible person. I would have still liked them to get back together but like... Otherwise, the show ends up saying that it's okay to lie to your partner so long as you have an excuse. That is abhorrent.

(Smart, Cool, Classy)

But on the flip side of things, what about Luz? Well, we get less overt declarations from Luz than we get from Amity. By what is stated... Well, "Cotton Candy Haired Goddess" and "You're smart, classy and cool," are really all we get and that's from Knock Knock Knocking. Smart is good, cool is fine, classy is okay too but they're very vague and the one emphasized, especially over and over, is how pretty and popular Amity is. Even back in Adventure in the Elements, where the show seems to want to be when they both catch feelings proper but Luz is a dense brick, those are the traits she focuses on. How strong, cool, pretty and popular Amity is. Luz's focus seems to commonly be on very superficial elements of Amity and with her misconceptions of Amity as the series goes on, it's easy to assume these never change.

If we try to go into Luz's character though like I did with Amity though, it gets WORSE. Luz is supposedly someone who fears rejection and has been bullied in the past. However, she seems to have zero fears about Amity as a bully or her being cruel to her. Admittedly, we do get two in character reasons for this: One is from Lost in Language where she admits to wanting to befriend Amity as a fiction trope, which is GOD AWFUL... But somehow the next one is worse? In The First Day, she isn't talking about Amity but she talks about hoping to find a 'vulnerable upperclassman' like one talks about a romantic partner. As such, Amity's damage is not something to help her with but something that continues to check boxes for Luz.

BUT.

If we are kinder, she likes Amity because of opposites attract. Amity is more serious, in control and smart than Luz. She has confidence that Luz doesn't think she has (examples nonexistent of course with how little Luz gives a shit about anyone's opinion) and a grace to her the clumsy nerd does not. So if we go off of those, does Amity lose those?

Yes. In S3A she seems to not be able to control her two left feet. She shows herself to be a complete disaster much of the time. In Escaping Expulsion, she's called out for letting her grades slip and Amity just loses all of her edge and real personality. She'll still continue to do things, to have things grafted onto her but her priorities are always Luz and not any of the drive or the like that might have attracted Luz to her in the first place. This is how Reaching Out ends with Amity caring WAY MORE about Luz's actions and the like than anything her father does and with her really just wanting the right to tell her father fuck you than actually wanting to properly repair their relationship like she claims. The goal is Luz. Always.

"But Luz could see who Amity actually was and was attracted to that!"

I have heard this sort of argument too many times not to talk about it. Let's pretend that's actually the case. That Luz was attracted to a possibility, rather than the person in front of her. That "I can fix her," is a good and healthy mentality. Okay, what is the 'real' Amity then? Well, she's nice, kind of awkward but can then step up to be a badass when she has to be.

I also just described Willow and Luz is not attracted to Willow. She literally never shows attraction to anyone like that. We actually do get an idea for what her type is after all. Her first blush is with a tortured, brooding dickhead in the second episode. She blushes at the twins who are teasing and rowdy. She likes trouble. She does not get attracted to Viney or Willow though despite both having very similar personalities to what Amity will eventually have. So why does she choose Amity?

Because she's the most conventionally attractive. That appears to really be it. It's the only thing that A: Amity doesn't discard of herself and B: that Luz seems to care about that actually stays true to the character over time. And don't tell me that Amity got smart in other ways. She is not a tactician and her strategies are always the bluntest. To reference Escaping Expulsion again, she is the one who posits going for a full frontal assault. Hell, in Falls and Follies, she's making mistakes in her Spanish studies. We don't see much real intelligence from her after S1. S3 made sure she has no class and Knock Knock Knocking explicitly points out that Amity is not as cool as Luz thinks she is.

Why does this matter though? Well... Because chemistry matters in a romance? Because in fiction, we should be able to understand what in the world attracts these two people to each other? Going, "It's love, they don't have to explain it," is the exact same problem as "It's magic, I don't have to explain it." It's purely relying on suspension of disbelief and believing that just because something doesn't have to have an airtight explanation doesn't mean it doesn't have to still follow the rules or examples you have set. People HATE when magic suddenly does whatever the author needs it to just as much as they hate when someone goes "I love you" in a movie after two hours of not seeing a single reason these two would get together.

As such, if in your romance story you have the character development of your characters remove everything they found attractive about each other... Why are they still together? Not even just because that's a thing in the real world but just in the fiction. There's no reason for them not to just be friends now so why are they still saying "I love you," if they even want to be friends still? It makes the conclusion of your work not scan and so your romance falls apart.

And I mean... Clouds on the Horizon even explicitly makes this clear. In that episode, Amity uses Luz as a way to calm herself. Uses how she'd tackle things, her care and the trust she has in Luz to make her not worry about being trapped at home. But is that accurate to Luz? To Luz, who in that episode decided NOT to go save Amity because she wanted to small chance that she might be needed for the bigger plan in motion instead? Despite having no role there and potentially making their stealth mission harder? Or who goes on to not engage at all with Amity's family drama, even as Odalia threatens to force to break them up? Where is the care that Amity was drawing strength from? The silliness that attracted her to Luz? ANYTHING that was there all the way back when that pushed Amity to kiss Luz in that episode?

Because as far as I'm concerned, Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl didn't just become a real person. She turned to sludge and why would Amity want to date sludge? See you next tale.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[weaselbeaselpants]

I really dislike Chaggie being compared to Jally. I ship both, but....

Jack and Sally aren't a couple in Nightmare til the very end. Jack only comes around once he's literally been shot at and forced to see things out of his fantasies for once and realize that other people really do love and support him; like Sally. The entire rest of the time Jack's stuck in his own mind. Sally's in love with Jack but she's actually not supportive of his Christmas and even tries sabotaging it because she knows what he's doing is wrong even if it took an unexplained visionflower for her to get that hunch first. Her line is literally "although I'd like to stand by him" not "I support him even if I really don't want to". And in the end not only is Sally vindicated by being right like Santa says she is, but Jack suddenly realizes what she's done and falls for her right then. YMMV on how good a couple they'd actually make ((they aren't Diane and Mr. PB; eat shoot Lindsay Ellis *annoying cries*)) but that's what's cute about Jack and Sally: Sally does her pining maturely (stalking not included) while Jack instantly falls all over in love with her because he's Jack.

I understand there are different interpretations w people think Jack was always in love with Sally but obviously I digress and have always kind of disagreed with that reading, as did the writers of TNBC. Because, if you did have a version where Jack was always feeling something romantic towards Sally, or WORSE, was in a relationship- you would get Charlie x Vaggie.

If I'm right (seasoned hazbinnies feel free to correct me on this) Charlie and Vaggie were not written to be lovers initially but later retconned into being later into the writing process....which shows. I think promo stuff from back then called the two just "friends" and Vaggie and Charlie don't act very romantic. As I just laid out and as any shipper of Jally could tell you it's not hard to make that kind of dynamic cute and quirky. The problem is it isn't even THERE.

Vaggie is apparently Charlie's girlfriend and I guess just also believes in the hotel but is skeptical of it, though I wouldn't consider that on par w Sally who was straight up gonna poison Jack in one of Caroyln Thompson's earlier scripts. Especially given that she's an angel this could either work for or against her character but Vaggie seems more like an agent then a loving bestie, even. I think I remember one of the spin off comics for Hazbin which had Vaggie just straight up admitting she's doing the hotel plan because it makes Charlie happy and she'll do anything Charlie wants.

To be honest, it reminds me more of Dr. Mrs. the Monarch from Venture Bros going on about how/why she puts up with Monarch's shit when he doesn't listen to her and it's because he has "passion for a villain"...the difference is that in that case you can kind of get where Mrs. the Monarch's coming from in her emotions. With Vaggie, well, guess that's a sin of not having all the details of her feelings laid out yet. I mean, when you ever get Vaggie's feelings. Such little work about your main couple in comparison to Angel or Alastor.

AND THEN CHARLIE? You can really tell she wasn't written w Vaggie as her gf in mind.

Boy howdy I REALLY HOPE for the series that Viv and co listened to some of the crew complaints and gave Charlie a more empathetic and supportive vibe because ho mah gawd and I mean this as someone who ships them- Charlie is a HORRIBLE girlfriend in the pilot.

Again, thematically, Jack has the excuse of being in a manic depressive episode and also not knowing Sally very much at all in TNBC. He sees her as just another one of his Halloween Town friends who's especially talented but doesn't even realize she and the rest of the town cares. He's not listening to her when she comes to warn him because he's self obsessed. He's nice to her but also passive cause that's how he is at that point of the story, even if he's gentlemanly about it. Compare to Charlie who, while always adorable Didneyprincessesque, is dismissive of Vaggie's concerns, anger, fears and reform while she's not only aware of Vaggie's feelings WHILE BEING IN AN APPARENTLY COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER is concerning. And that's before you get to Charlie not noticing Vaggie getting tossed around by Alastor right in front of her.

It'd be different if Al does his weird smarmy shit and Charlie is uncomfy but only stiffens up and shows her actual strong side to him when he touches Vaggie- "HEY! Don't you lay a finger on her!" but no, nothing.

I ultimately get what Viv wants and is going for by comparing Charlie and Vaggie to tnbc, but I think in practice in the pilot it fails because it

was never planned out to be a couple

they're supposed to be a couple but Charlie and Vaggie aren't all that romantic

they're supposed to be a couple but Charlie isn't very supportive or even defensive

People give Jack a lot of shit (rightfully, in the video games) and give the movie and Jally shit for being a "bad fit" but I again vouch for them not only on the grounds of tnbc being complete and at home in it's own skin. The rest of the franchise not so much, but the movie and the writers of the character know what kind of person Jack is and have his redemptive quality be that he falls for Sally; I love him and Sally both as characters but also as a couple for that reason. I'd feel totally different if Jack, say, was Sally's bf throughout the film and acted the way Charlie did. I can be critical of TNBC and I think some of Jack's writing is flawed and could be better, but y'know, I will defend it pedantically like I'm doing right now.

With Charlie and Vaggie, I ship them because they're my favorite characters from the pilot but dayum. I'm the kind of hermitshipper who's able to sustain myself off scraps and headcanons and even I'm saying these two need some work. Cuz they do. They need A LOT of work. And better writers.

If Chaggie is ''endgame'' in the final season then I hope "A Happy Day in Hell" is just an outlier scene or it's going to be retconned that they aren't lovers yet because if not- oh Vaggie! Get urself a Hasani Walker comic and fast my gurl you need it.

[jesuisgourde]

Okay, All Quiet On The Eastern Esplanade is out in the states, so time for a listen and a rambling track by track reaction. I'm listening to the whole album through and writing my thoughts, and then listening to it once more and adding any other observations.

I've already heard Run Run Run, and like I said before, it feels very classic Carl track. It's very catchy. I think I have the same complaint as everyone else, which is that it feels over-produced. No one should autotune the Libs, the whole point is that they're a bit wonky. Also I don't like that they've fucked with the equalizer and the vocals sound weirdly muffled? Also, upon this listen-through, this song reminds me a little of Frank Turner, which is a weird musical callback to like 2012. My favorite thing in any song is when the instrumentals cut out and it's just drums and vocals, so I love that as the ending of the song. This whole album has so many varied cultural references which I find very entertaining. Does Peter yell "Get your pants off" or "Get your hands off"?

Already I like the lyric to Mustangs A LOT. Feeling a Lou Reed influence there. Love Peter's high-pitched backing vocals and also the Pigman reference. I really love Libs songs where it's just a little scene set to music. And this is exactly that, in such a good way. Again, not a fan of the mixing. What is it with producers these days and mixing so shittily that the vocals get lost in the background instruments, and everything gets muddied? I had the exact same complaint with the last Manics album. Anyway, love the little jokey bits at the end. The second verse about the nun is such fantastic imagery. (Lastly, I thought it was Mustang, singular? But it's plural on Spotify?)

I Have A Friend has an AMAZING chorus I love it. Also that solo guitar bit from Carl right after, I literally could see him hopping up and down in my head. Love Peter's rolled R's. Okay, upon listening the second time round I really really really like this song. The lyrics are incredible. I think they're my favorite on the album. Social commentary but also absolutely beautiful and amazing imagery.

Merry Old England has a bit of a Hamburg Demonstrations vibe to it, which I love. The further I get into this song, the more I love it. It's such a creative and sarcastic critique of Tory policies and all that. Again, I've criticisms about the mixing. Also the pretty violins makes me miss Miki Beavis's wonky violin in Madres, which I think suits Peter/The Libs way better. Still, they add a nice touch.

Ohhh I love Man With The Melody, the clear pretty vocals. I like that each of the Libs have their own verse, that's so cool! Fuck the autotuning though. I really like this song. Melodically it sounds like a sequel to Milkman's Horse, and thematically a sequel to Fame And Fortune. It sounds like a "reply" or a look back at Anthems. Very pretty, with the lovely piano and minimalist guitar.

Hahahha Oh Shit! feels soooooo early 2000s American pop, in a fun way. It reminds me of something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Something that was on the radio a lot in like 2003 or 2004 maybe? This is clearly a Fun Song, like a slosh your drinks around while dancing all goofy type song. Peter's "And that was the news today" at the end is so silly. I think this track is my least favorite but it is fun.

I already know I love Night Of The Hunter. Firstly because anything that uses the Swan Lake motif has my heart instantly. But also because I love the lyrics, I love when Peter writes songs about noir-type vignettes. Finally, some good shared vocals that aren't drowned out by instruments. Gosh, I love the lyrics of this song, I love the dual meaning in that it is technically about an actual noir film but could easily be talking about Peter's past as well. I really like that the lyrics get priority on this one and the instrumentals are pushed back in the mix with the Swan Lake motif coming forward sometimes. It feels like it needs that minimalism.

The guitar on Baron's Claw is already great from the start. I hear Peter's taking a leaf out of Daniel Darc's book with the close-in breathy vocals, which I'm so into because since I learned about Daniel Darc from Peter and Frederic Lo I've actually fallen in love with his music too. Melody-wise it's very close to The Glassblower from the Fantasy Life album, which is my favorite song off that album, so I'm not surprised I like this song too. I like the story in the song and I like the jazzy brass and piano and Peter's vocals. It feels like it's being sung in a smoky jazz bar. This one is so good.

Shiver is sooo catchy. I find myself humming it sometimes at work even though I haven't yet absorbed all the lyrics in my memory. This is also the real "Libertines mythology" song, so of course it's good. The fact that the lyrical subject matter is made up only of criticizing the monarchy and talking about specific Libertines lore is just so them. It's so short, though! I wish it were longer!

The guitar on Be Young is so chaotic lol. It reminds me of Horrorshow a bit. Okay, actually this whole song is chaotic. Melodically, lyrically, it sounds like they were crashing around in the studio while recording, which is very fun. The random calypso bridge bit is so....random! I like it, just a surprise in terms of musical style change. Suddenly they're the Clash! A fun way to pay homage to influences, I think. Also Carl yelling "Woo!" and then collapsing into a cough at the end is really really funny.

I can definitely hear the early-ness of Songs They Never Play On The Radio. You can tell the scaffolding is there from that early set of Libertines-to-Shambles transition songs like East Of Eden/Love Reign Over Me/Merry Go Round etc. I really really like the guitar on this one. And the vocals are so nice. Again I don't like the mix, where Peter's voice is a bit overtaken by the muddiness of the backup singers and instrumentals. But I do like this song a lot. The lyrics are pure Libertines mythology. Ahahah the dogs howling! The bit of acoustic and messing about and chat, I really like that. I think it's a really lovely ending to the album, just a glimpse of them obviously being friends and having fun. It's like a beautiful reply to the question "What became of the likely lads?"

As I've only listened through the album in full twice at this point, I'm sure my thoughts will change over time. But at the moment I think my favorite is torn between Night Of The Hunter and Baron's Claw. I Have A Friend and Songs They Never Play also are just so lyrically good. Least favorite is definitely Oh Shit. I'm excited to see which songs grow on me and in what ways.

[dabisbratz]

uh sitting on shidos lap n doing his makeup, while he has a tiight hold on ur thighs playin with em n shit. he tries to rut ur ass against his cock while you work, but you scold him for squirming around too much. he was gonna mess you up!

he tries to stay still but he just cant help it.. just the thought of having his cock in you is makin him all hard. oh well. whats a bit of smudged eyeliner to him pounding ur ass into the mattress💗

ahhhh he’s so pretty!! he already has problems sittin still, n it’s especially hard when his handsome boyfriend is a few inches from his face but… he tries his hardest for you. even if his hands are wanderin n slitherin up your shirt or down your pants. swattin him away just earns sharper, more consistent grabbin n squeezin, paired with a low n scarily serious grumble of ‘i’m not done yet.’

omgomg that last part??? shido’s a crier, he gets so lost n blissed out in it that he goes a lil manic— all erratic n rough n hard. n the whole time there’s tears in his eyes n his eyeliner n mascara starts runnin down his face, leavin behind streaky tracks. even though you’re technically on top of him, cause you’re sittin in his lap, he’s holdin your hips still n piledrivin into you from below. doesn’t help that he came untouched from grindin against you earlier— he’s still ridin that post-orgasm high so it feels so good. nyway, your complaints about his ruined eyeliner even when you’re gettin fucked within an inch of your life really spurs him on, he tells you to grab the applicator n try again as he uses you like a fleshlight since you’re so upset about it ♡

[velvetvexations]

Eyyyyy fellow 300+ person! Im way shorter lol but it always is nice to see people in that club in the wild :)

high five

i'm not active on here that much anymore because tumblr is rlly shitty for transmascs and I'm glad I missed out on the whole "transemasculation" garbage because what is this. talking over transmascs, especially transmascs of color, is what it is. I'm glad that people are calling this shit out though. you probably hear this a lot but thank you so much for sticking up for transmascs, it means a lot

<3

it might just be that I am on the verge of a manic episode but honestly i love everything and it's all soo beautiful and I am one with the universe and nothing is real I am having a spiritual awakening and I can see everything and I am so full with love and hope and expansive pleasure and I can talk to ghosts and the world is beautiful and I am a genius and I love everyone and I have sooo much energy!

I love that for you anon.

to me it like. comes off even more so like the incel "i shall protect your purity m'lady" thing. putting trans women on a pedestal above anything else and treating them like they can never do anything wrong or be human is also transmisogynistic as hell

it so so so is and I hate it

I wish ppl would stop crossposting their complaints about transmisogyny from trans guys in the transandrophobia tag and vice versa... it's just annoying at this point. like im sorry that people are being transphobic to them but it's literally just spamming both the transandrophobia and transmisogyny tags.

co-signed

you can tell gender and race are extremely different constructs because i have seen several people who act like they are the same who also suggest forcefem as a solution for misogyny but who would probably never suggest force-rachel dolezaling every white person because obviously race and gender are completely different constructs lmfao

interesting concept

put-this-in-your-coffee anon again. my apologies for misusing your inbox. i only meant to point out the double standard that these radfems always seem to hold, that it's fine and okay for them to abuse & harass men because they're doing it "in the name of feminism," but i'm sure in my half-awake stupor and anger it didn't come out that way.

No worries. <3

Not really trans related but my grades are a roller coaster right now and it sucks :(.

I love you and am rooting for you. <3

Supporting the trans women in my life (got my little sister some purple makeup as a solstice gift because she's very recently out and just getting into makeup and she's been using mine and I don't have much purple but it's her favorite). Also got her some candy n a cat squishy. She thinks I only got her one gift so she's gonna be so surprised >::3c My evil transandrobro agenda (givin my trans sis gifts)

Really cute!

saw Patricia taxxon (did not know her before this, just scrolled her blog bc cute fursona and then saw antitransmasculinity) say that transfems have a say in what language transmascs use to describe their oppression because we share a community and transmascs have power over transfems??? but then somehow it doesn't work the other way, because if a transmascs dares share an opinion on current transfeminist theory (esp tme vs tma) suddenly he's awful (and transfems are also treated this way when they speak out) AND we're all trans, motherfucker!! they hate us all!! we do not have meaningful material power over each other when we live in a world that actively wants trans people gone.

She just straight up does not believe that trans men are also meaningfully oppressed or have a difficult time doing anything because she's obsessed with a theory of gender that to ease her own dysphoria but necessarily implies trans men must be treated like cis men.

Yknow how cis women preaching about sisterhood n stuff don't actually care about other women necessarily or treat them well? I'm beginning to notice this seems to also apply to how some transfems on here talk about transfems that disagree with them

such is always the case with radical feminism

(progressively) i simply believe that a large population - or even a majority - of trans people (and trans people specifically) are inherently evil bigots, violent rapists, taking my right to safety away, etc. due to their gender identity and socialisation. this is just a normal and sensible thing to believe as a trans person (the good type though not the bad type)

no trust me this time they found the good way to do transphobia

/770466237992075264/from-that-one-post-you-replied-to-about-trans (Dif anon) Literally, the OP other anon is talking about is just describing DARVO. I wouldn't be surprised if trans women and fems were among the demographics more likely to experience it, but it's just a normal, shitty abuse tactic that anyone can be the victim of.

Yeah. It's not like...special.

im also a trans guy caricature we should start a club

Hell yeah!

ppl hating anti-transmasculinity as a concept is so funny 2 me bc like anti-blackmasculinity has whole papers about it but these ppl act like all “anti-masculinity”s are just MRA shit when no! marginalized men are punished 4 everything they do! including being masculine!!!!

According to mostly White women Black men should shut up.

I am 100% sure that after Matt's meltdown about the first trans woman the rest of the bans were TRFs taking advantage of the situation to mass report their petty enemies.

no lol

trans people* being reported more often got inflated into Tumblr staff hunting down trans women for sick sadistic thrills but it wasn't a conspiracy on either side

*non-trans women have testified to the same thing happening to them

Am I bugging out? I thought privilege also had to do with the entitlement/behavior that the privilege would curate in the person over time. Like how cis men statistically do not fear traveling alone at night (or at least do not expect being assaulted) and the privilege of not fearing this. When anyone becomes visibly trans (fem, masc and anything else), this privilege is shot dead. Trans men do not magically gain the expectation of leisurely walk down the road at 3 am without consequence. Trans women who might have had this expectation will naturally lose it. Likewise if a trans man is still exhibiting oppressed behaviors (you must be able to cook and clean, you must be a good housewife over anything else, you must bear the emotional load of everyone around you, you must be QUIET) how could he gain privilege solely by transition but not adopting the male sentiments that privilege produces to men? Feel free to debunk any of this, I hope my points made somewhat sense

the TRF position was not created to stand up to this kinna logical scrutiny

hey, i hope you're doing well & having a great music!!

Thank you!

Love it when TRF people send you death threats and begging for you to die. I thought calling for violence on any transfem is transmisogyny? Or is it only when being told an opinion is wrong?

Harassment for thee, not for me.

I’m so sorry, I thought your banner was actually you but with cool cosplay on. Forgive me for sinning 😩

You should continue thinking of that as me lol.

“He’s a girl to me <3” crowd when the new and improved “she’s a man to me <3” crowd pulls up

literally

[peoplesrazor]

"This just tells me that both SU and RWBY have a lot to be critiqued about, you were just that ironic to be named whenever it came to SU."

*raises hand*

How? How does the fact that youtubers made negative videos on these pieces of media tell you anything about them? You're assuming causation here. People made critical videos on these, therefore, they must have a lot to critique is not necessarily true. Let me offer an alternative cause here. How about this: These pieces of media were popular talking points, therefore videos were made about them.

Is that the only possible motivation for making those videos? No and that's my point. Your initial correlation, people made videos, is the only valid and provable fact you have. This shouldn't tell you anything but that youtubers are going to youtube.

In Hbomb's RWBY video, the best of the bunch that I've watched, he goes into great detail explaining how much he was initially looking forward to the show. He talks about how excited he was after seeing the trailers, especially the first one. How well they were made. How much hype there was around them. He establishes early and very clearly how much he wanted to like the show.

Only then does he go into his issues with it.

All pieces of media have flaws that can be critiqued. That much is true. By focusing on those flaws and discussing them rather than, say the creator or whether or not storyboard artists had more input then you prefer, we can hope to improve art as a whole. That's beautiful.

I'm not saying a creator or team can't be criticized either for things they did or influenced, either. Writers, in particular, have habits. Nothing wrong with talking about those, but those are the why and not the what. We need to discuss what the issue is first.

A very terfy children's author with the initials JKR, for instance, liked to try to add things to her stories via twitter and her website rather than actually putting those things in the stories. If I just go on and on about JoKe Rowling, however, and never explain why "word of God" doesn't improve the story, then I'm just attacking her.

I'm not saying there aren't clearly other reasons to talk about this particular writer. I'm just saying that only attacking her for this trope doesn't tell anyone why not to do it this. Nor does it explain how to avoid that trap and what do to instead.

I picked an obviously easy to avoid trope, with an easily guessable solution: Don't talk about your shit on twitter, on purpose. I'm just trying to make the argument that criticism is incomplete if you focus too much on who the creator is. This is my main complaint about, Lily's SU video.

Well, no, it's full of holocaust denial, antisemitic talking points, and other racism, would be the main complaints. But when it comes to media discussion, this is my issue. She attacks the creator and storyboard artists throughout the video and she makes some criticisms; some might even be true.

Unfortunately, she spends little to no time explaining why the things she complains about are wrong from a storytelling point of view, what could and should have been done differently, or offered any way to avoid those things. She'll just say, here is a thing I don't like, then insult Sugar. It's manic.

For instance, she makes the complaint that the show never just slows down and let's a moment sit; never a moment of quiet contemplation. Later in the same video she talks about, at least two, moments that do just that. She even comments on this herself once and talks about why that moment works.

She doesn't, however, discuss why the not slow and quiet moments might be bad for storytelling. She doesn't offer real scenes of it working correctly in other media. She doesn't even consider other factors like deadlines and corporate interference or discuss how to navigate them. She never even addresses the problem as being one of pacing, which is clearly what she means.

In other words, she doesn't critic, she just complains.

[nehswritesstuffs]

Peer Review

Something about this sort of scenario seems just so Law to me and I can't really put my finger on it, even after writing it out, so here we are.

3227 words; starts off with a 19yo Law and all the self-righteous fury contained therein (Penguin is 21, Shachi 20, and Bepo 15, for comparison); I’m sure that some people have done something similar but it’s my turn with the football now I guess; may or may not work within canon, idk yet, try not to think about it too much; maybe get an additional editing pass after I sleep idk on that either

Peer Review; Law is sick of watching all of Flevance's contributions go to waste, which leads him to take drastic measures: passing board exams.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Uh… are you sure this is a good idea…?” Penguin wondered. He watched as Law was hunched over the table in the Polar Tang’s mess hall, furiously completing paperwork. His captain did not answer him and that only made him worry more. “Cap…?”

“Ignore him,” Shachi droned from the kitchen. “You’re never going to win.”

“This is not about winning—this is about him being delusional.”

“No, what’s delusional,” Law said, slamming his pen down on the table, “is that these uptight twits playing at doctor think they can just ignore an entire plethora of medical and scientific achievements simply due to the authors getting in the crossfire of a genocide! They know they’re not publishing the truth in these fucking jokes they call medical journals! It’s like peer review means that they just skimmed it over right quick before putting it to press! If they had any shred of ethical acumen these works would be known and referenced!”

“Literally none of us have ever seen you more upset and it’s kind of scary,” Penguin mentioned. “I mean, you’re sounding like you’re about to vomit a thesaurus.”

“What I am about to vomit is the contents of my stomach because they are ignoring my parents’ work!” Law retorted. He gestured over to the wall, where a knife had been Shambled into the metal as it held up a journal that had been stabbed through the center. “I remember reading it! I was there! My parents let me read over it to check for typos! And we’re talking about one of the medical associations that turned me away as a kid!”

“Yeah, and what is passing boards going to do about it?”

“Give me an in.” Law went back to the paperwork, manically filling everything out to the best of his ability. He put together what he hoped was an impressive resume, hoping that it would be enough to convince the licensing committee to allow him to sit the boards without going through all of med school on-island first. If he was pressed, he probably could have figured out how he knew more than the average fourth-year med student by the time he was eight years old…

“Hey everyone! News Coo’s here!”

“Shit!” Law scrambled to sit up and run over to the hatch of the Polar Tang, where Bepo was waiting on the top deck. A News Coo was sitting idly on the railing, resting itself as it stared at the pile of mail in Bepo’s paw. Law took the envelopes from the Mink and began to sort through them, finding one small, discreet letter amongst ad leaflets about a WEJ news subscription and Shachi’s naughty Sora, Warrior of the Sea fan zine.

A letter from the licensing board.

Law shoved the rest of the mail back towards Bepo and tore open the envelope. He read it over three times, with his friends divvying up their own mail in the meantime.

“I got my in,” Law marveled quietly, voice barely above a whisper. He turned towards his crew—his friends—his brothers—and laughed. “I can take the exam!”

“You what…?” Shachi blinked in confusion. “What was all that paperwork for then?”

“Red tape that they want me to come in and fill out, but I already got the jump on them so they can’t pretend like it doesn’t exist.” Law put up a Room and popped the paperwork, a pen, and an envelope to the deck, replacing it with the letter and Shachi’s zine. He ignored the complaints as he put together his response and stuffed it in the envelope, putting it in the News Coo’s bag before the bird took off.

Now, it was off to Lvneel.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You have an… interesting set of credentials,” the woman at the desk frowned. She let her eyes flit from the papers in front of her to the boy sitting on the other side of her desk. He was trying to not fidget, though it was also apparent that the attempt at looking serious was just something unfortunate his face did. Not only that, he looked so young, even if he did have patchy facial hair filling in on his chin and cheeks. So young and so unsettlingly familiar…

“All worth its weight, I can assure you,” he replied. “The gap I can explain by having worked out in the field, which I’m told is often worth as much as thrice the same amount of time in the classroom.”

“True… but without verification, I can’t really say that this is as solid as you claim, not to mention the fee…” She watched as the boy took some money from his inner jacket pocket and placed it on the table. “A bribe…?”

“All the admissions fees, up front, in your hands, now.” He stared her down as she counted it—not a beri out of place. “There is nothing barring me from taking the exam.”

“You’re feisty—I like you,” she smirked. “You’ll mostly be a pain to the other departments, which to me is honestly enough reason to let you through. You just have to remember something.”

“Anything.”

“Lvneelish people don’t take kindly to being made fools.” The boy froze, seemingly afraid he was caught in some sort of lie, and she chuckled. “I don’t know who you are, Wittman Lars, or where you really came from, but just remember that if you’re going to go through with this, then make it good. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the boy nodded. He looked cowed, as though he rarely deferred as such. She watched as he bit his lower lip in thought, slipping further away from the headstrong confidence that he had walked in with. “If I pass this exam, I can submit studies and critiques to the Greater Lvneel Medical Journal, right?”

“It would be within your right, yes.” She raised an eyebrow at the boy, who looked much younger in that moment than she was comfortable with. “I won’t ask your reasons, but is that why you are sitting this exam?”

His silence was all the answer she needed.

“Then get out of my office—collect the necessary paperwork on the way out.” She handed him a slip of paper with a stamp on it, which he stared at incredulously… as though he didn’t entirely believe he was holding it. “Exams are in three weeks; a failed exam can be retaken in six months. Not reporting forfeits your right to another chance for a year. Cheating bars you for five years. Any other questions will be answered by the secretaries; now leave.”

It took a moment for the boy’s brain to catch up and he scrambled up from the chair and scurried out of the office like a scared animal unsure of its limbs. She nodded to herself, wondering how many people would see in the boy what she saw—hopefully not too many.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Three weeks?!” Penguin griped. They were in the small rented house they had found on the outskirts of the city, far enough away from the main of Lvneel to not attract too much attention. Shachi was already getting dinner prepped while Bepo was helping Law sort through medical books at the kitchen table. The eldest Heart Pirate had just gotten home with the shopping when Law dropped the news on him.

“That’s when it is; can’t change it,” Law replied. “I’m surprised the registrar let me do any of it at all.”

“This is going to eat into our savings, you know this,” Penguin frowned. Shachi wordlessly took the bag from his hand and procured the seal meat that was going to be the night’s dinner. “We don’t have that much.”

“I thought the haul we got from those Kueni assholes was more than enough to let us coast for half a year in a more central part of town,” Law reminded him. Penguin only folded his arms in response. “Besides, it’ll do us good to be on land for a bit, and the Tang’s not that far away if you want to visit her.”

“She’s a ship, not a woman.”

“Yeah, but same rules apply.” Law opened a Room and moved a fresh stack of books to a nearby shelf. “We’re going to be here long enough for me to sit the exam and get a hold of my certification. If it takes that long, then it’s going to take that long.”

“You’re fucking nuts if you think we’re going to stay under the radar the entire time.”

“Then it’s a good thing I don’t.” Law handed Bepo a book and pointedly did not look at Penguin. “I think she recognized me.” His crewmates all stopped to stare at him in horror.

“Wait, what?!” Shachi snapped. “Cap, don’t tell me you’re going to get us all busted because of this!”

“We won’t,” Law assured. “They can’t prove anything, not until it’s too late, and once I get my license they can’t strip me of it unless a malpractice suit comes up against me or there’s an injunction, both of which take time.”

“It’s bad enough Bepo’s a bear—don’t apologize Bep—but someone recognizing you?!” Shachi put his hands on his hips while their kid brother whimpered. “We’re literally hundreds of miles from Flevance. Why do you think this lady recognized you?!”

“Just a feeling,” he shrugged. “People travel for work or pleasure; medical tourism was a thing where I grew up; I’ve got a Flevench face—any number of reasons.”

“For fuck’s sake…”

“I told you,” Penguin said, gesturing at Law as though he wanted to add a “see this shit” at the end.

“Then leave,” Law deadpanned. He handed another book to Bepo, who put it in the appropriate stack. “Nothing’s stopping you. The door’s right there.”

“Yeah, but why would we leave Bepo alone with you?” Penguin scoffed. “He needs an adult.”

“I am an adult.”

“Tch; barely.”

“…and whose idea was it to beat the bear up?”

Okay, he had them there, but…!

“Are you going to hang that over us forever?” Shachi groaned.

“As long as I need to.”

“Then I say I should be able to hold my arm over you in retaliation,” Penguin sniffed. Law simply acted as though he hadn’t heard his eldest crewmate, continuing with sorting his study materials. “It still gets tingly, you know.”

“That’s because you probably have carpal tunnel, not because of anything I did,” Law replied dully. “I’d fix it for you if you let me near your arm next time you experience localized paresthesia.”

Penguin and Shachi exchanged an exasperated look before looking at Bepo, who shrugged helplessly. The sooner they could get their captain off this rock, the sooner he’d be less of a dick, they supposed.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

While the crankiness that the Hearts dealt with as Law was studying for his exam was unbearable, the exam itself was even worse. Law sat in the large room with dozens of other applicants; it was warm and stuffy and smelled like burnt coffee and body odor. He was the youngest person in the room by-far, which was something that he knew others noticed. The uncomfortable feeling of eyes on him raked against the young man as he sat at his seat and readied himself alongside all the other candidates. He knew that not only was he not someone who had been through courses with everyone else there, but he looked different—like his father—and there had to be at least a few people in the room aware enough to put two and two together. The Doctors Trafalgar had both done plenty of talks on neighboring islands, after all.

In both an instant and forever, the exam was done. The room was made to put down their pens and Law began to panic, knowing there was too much test left. He put all the papers in order in their folder and handed them in despite his nerves. Before he realized it, the teen was vomiting in the bushes outside of the university hall, Penguin and Shachi holding onto him while Bepo wrung his paws in distress.

“What the fuck has you like this, Cap?” Shachi wondered as Law finished dry-heaving. The younger man was still shaking unsteadily within his grasp.

“I… I couldn’t finish the test,” he croaked, voice raw. “They kept staring at me… and I couldn’t even finish…”

“Maybe they design it so no one finishes?” Bepo offered.

“That doesn’t help,” Law moaned. He stood up and weakly shook off Penguin and Shachi. Neither of them backed away, which he took in stride. “I still just sat an exam I didn’t finish—I always finish my exams.”

“Last time you finished an exam you were ten,” Penguin reminded him.

“Nuns don’t make it easy,” Law reasoned as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Something sat in the pit of his stomach, seeped into his empty stomach and weary heart, and he frowned. Fuck… of all the things… “I don’t think I passed.”

“Can’t you retake it?” Bepo asked.

“In six months,” Law replied, “and I don’t want to stick around that long. We can’t afford it.”

“We’ll get there when we get there,” Penguin assured. “Now, what are we going to have for dinner? I’m fucking starved.”

Law laughed awkwardly as his friends began to discuss their dinner options, thinking that his sitting of the boards exam was cause for celebration. He allowed himself to be dragged along to the celebration, despite not feeling much like partying or eating, and spent the entire rest of the day and into the evening trying to calm himself down the best he could.

‘They know,’ he kept on thinking. He felt hyper-aware of everything—of everyone—as they sat in a pub with food and beer for the rest of the night. Bepo even had his first drink, much to the bear’s disgust, and provided the other two goobers with entertainment that lasted for hours.

“C’mon, Cap,” Shachi chuckled, his words on the verge of slurring. Law had lost count of how many beers any of them had, yet it was not enough for him to not cringe as his crewmate threw his arm over his shoulder and leaned in. “You gotta loosen up at some point tonight.”

“I don’t really feel like it,” Law replied for what was likely the dozenth time. “I don’t even really want to be here.”

“I don’t either,” Bepo squeaked. “I feel sick.”

“You barely finished your pint!” Penguin scolded.

“I’m sorry! It just tastes so gross!”

“Your first few pints are supposed to be gross.”

“I don’t think how it’s supposed to go…”

“Ah, we’ll make a man out of you yet,” Penguin scoffed. He looked at Law over the rim of his mug and shrugged. “Eat something; you look like you’re going to pass out.”

“No.”

“I don’t really think it counts as mutiny if I act for the good of the captain,” he reminded him. Law rolled his eyes and busied himself with one of the whale fritters that were still on the table. “Good. Now, what are we going to do about those bounty hunter-looking types across the room that have been eyeing us for about an hour?”

Okay, it made him feel a little better that it wasn’t just something that had buried its way into only his brain. He watched as both Penguin and Shachi went and stood, the pair deciding to let their captain and navigator sit this one out—they had to take care of the kids somehow, and this was something they definitely knew how to do even when drunk as they were.

Law went and Shambled some takeaway boxes to the table—he was not letting whale fritters, fries, and Flevench-style croquettes go to waste because the idiots got into some trouble.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Three days passed by slowly. Painfully. It almost made Law go completely mad. He sat in their rented house the entire time, pacing the floor. When he wasn’t pacing, he was bouncing his leg as he sat, or tossing and turning on his bed, or just being restless in general. It was enough to make his crew crazy, almost wishing they had waited out the results while on the Polar Tang. In fact, Bepo had to sit on Law in order to keep him from rushing to the door when the mail courier arrived, leaving Penguin to get it and Shachi open the envelope.

It didn’t matter one way or the other—he passed.

…he passed, but with a caveat.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I NEED A STAMP! DOES ANYONE HAVE A STAMP?!”

Law’s shouting fell on deaf ears as the rest of the Hearts rested on the beach of the island they were docked at. He needed just one more to take care of the Coo fee and it seemed as though his reserves had run dry. At least it seemed as though the News Coo was taking advantage of the delay, the bird relaxing in the sun of the Summer Island’s Spring.

“DOES ANYONE HAVE A STAMP?” he repeated, doing his best to allow his voice to carry. No one paid him any heed; there was plenty to do with their time on land that facilitated the accidental ignoring of their captain. Sunbathing, volleyball, splashing in the water, setting up for the night’s big barbecue/bonfire… it was looking as though the crew was going to have a great afternoon on the tiny spit of an island they were resting on.

Except, suddenly, Law opened a Room and swapped his crewmates with a bunch of barnacles that had not yet been scraped off the top overdeck, dropping everyone rather unceremoniously onto the wooden planks.

“Ow! Hey! What’d you do that for?!” Ikkaku snapped.

“Since no one listened to me the first time, I had to resort to drastic measures,” Law reasoned. “Does anyone have a stamp? The Coo’s waiting.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I got it,” Clione griped. He went below deck, returning to the rest of the crew being back on land as he held a postage stamp towards his captain. Law took it and attached it to the front of the thick, buff-colored envelope along with four others before offering it to the News Coo. The bird regarded it sourly before squawking in resignation, allowing Law to put it in his bag. “What’s it about this time, Captain?”

“Vitamin D intake in correlation to heavy metal poisoning’s effects on the Human body,” Law explained as the Coo flapped off. “I needed so many stamps because I included two copies.”

“One by Trafalgar Law about Amber Lead and…?”

“…one by Doctor Wittman Lars about arsenic and mercury,” he admitted. “I don’t think the case study about Jean Bart’s tinea pedis and its correlation to his days in captivity is ready yet; still needs some refining in regards to outlining the causation.”

“The entire world isn’t ready for Jean Bart’s feet; subjecting Lvneel to it is just plain cruel,” Clione shuddered. “The snail photos you had me take still haunt my nightmares.”

“Be glad you weren’t around for the Bed Bugs or Mange Debacle,” Law reminded him. Clione nodded silently in reply—all he wanted from that was the stories and he didn’t even really want those.

[morticious-delicious]

I finished Poor Things (book by Alisdair Gray) last night after having watched Poor Things (movie dir. Yorgos Lanthimos) this weekend and I am not ok.

The movie: Beautiful to watch, a little extra with the sexi-times, and full of obscenities. (I'm not afraid of the word Fuck but ... FUCK it was excessive! And a little out of character!) I understand that much of the movie was Bella finding the freedom to be herself and do and fuck whom she wanted, I get it. But its all alluded to in the book. We don't have scene after scene of Ruffalos sweaty dad bod. There is no mention of her learning how to use breakfast foods in new and creative ways or assaulting the maid.

(spoilers)

The book has a few parts: The account by McCandless, and then an account by Bella "Victoria" Baxter where she laments the bogusness of his account! She's like holy shit he's a great doctor but has no imagination! He stole from Mary Shelley, He stole from Poe (and a number of other Gothic authors). Basically-

NONE of the story they show in the movie was supposed to have happened. I mean, like, even in the story not like, its fiction. Even in spite of the author throwing in historical tidbits after wards that make it all sound real and true. She runs away from her abusive husband! She moves in with Godwin and loves him for being the only fucking doctor in the UK who is caring to lady patients! She marries McCandless because he's a gentle man who will not try and control her! She LOVES Godwin (who also does not try and control her!) None of the Frankenstein stuff happens! She becomes a doctor and a socialist and has a life thats not quite the adventure they show, but I see what he was trying to do.

The complaints about "She's a baby in a womans body!" Yes! Notice how the men LOVE her when shes infantile and then grow tried of her when she starts thinking and having ideas! (also maturing at an accelerated rate).

She's still a fascinating character but not the manic pixie hmm hmm hmm they show in the movie. If anything she reminds me more of Mattie from True Grit. No nonsense. She does what needs to be done and what she wants! Still interesting but would have made for a less interesting movie.

anyway I'm reeling from this. It reminded me of Blonde. A fictional account of a real person and then they make a movie that shows a lot more sex then was actually in the original piece. Only Bella/Victoria (Beautiful Victory!) wasn't real so I am 100% more ok with it. Anyway. Good movie Good book. I need to lay down. I need men to stop re-writing women.

[manicali]

I would be so damn good at English class if I gave a fuck about anything.

Literally every project it’s either “How do you empathize with this?” .

Like sorry, no I actually don’t care, I barely have empathy for people I hold dear to my heart, I don’t care about this obviously staged photo or poorly written short story. Making up reasons to care is haaard.

[azlan-snow]

Humble Beginnings(Radiobelle Fanfic)

Chapter Fourteen: Worst Nightmare

(Told from Al’s POV)

A month  and a half has passed since Charlie’s unconsciousness befell her. And we have been busy. I assumed Charlie’s position as hotel manager and co-founder, resulting in busy days, sleepless nights, and never ending complaints. But everyday, I would work in our room, making sure to watch over my beloved. And today was the day she awoke.

“ugh,” Charlie groans, awaking for the first time in a while.

“Charlie!” I rush to her side as she attempts to sit up, and help her as she continues groaning in pain. “Be careful, mon cher.”

“Alastor?”

“Yes, Charlie? I’m right here.”

“What….happened?”

“You were injured severely. I’ve been tending to you since.”

Charlie’s stomach growls loudly, as if it’s begging for food. 

“Are you hungry, beloved?”

“I think so.”

“I’ll get you some food. Wait for me here.” I teleport down to the lobby, grab some pasta Angel made for dinner last night, and return to Charlie searching her body.

“Woman, don’t you know how to keep your clothes on?” 

“Sorry. I just wanted to see.” She slips her shirt back on before I hand her food.

“It feels like I’ve been out for a day or so.”

“A day or so?”

“Yeah.”

“Charlie, you’ve been in a coma for a month and a half.” Dead silence arose from that mere sentence as Charlie stares at me, coldness lying there dormant and withholding in her eyes.”

“Are you telling me that I’ve been unconscious. For. Almost. Two. Months!” Horns sprouting from her head,she began to look furious before coughing manically. As her coughing becomes more like hackling, fear begins to overtake her entirety, and her vision begins to fade. “Charlie! Stay with me!” I hold her steady as her body begins to spasm, slowly becoming more and more rapid. I hold her steady, making sure she doesn’t get injured. As it begins to calm down, the fog over Charlie’s eyes begins to fade. “Are you okay, mon cher?”

“No.” She pouts, frowning in her puppy-like face. Then, a knock on the door.

“Hey Al, we need somma’ ya voodoo type shit down-” Angel pauses, seeing Charlie, awake. “The fuck Al? Why didnt’cha tell us she was awake and kickin’?” Angel walks over to the foot of the bed, motioning for Charlie to come closer. Charlie scoots over towards him and hugs him, Angel wrapping all four of his arms around her. MY heart hurts at such a gesture towards someone that’s not me. Charlie might have been right. I am a possessive lover. But for good reason. 

As Angel and Charlie chatted about what happened in her absence, I watched from her side, making sure she doesn’t spoil her biggest surprise: a new resident. He hasn’t been here long, and clicking with him, as Charlie would say, has been proving to be difficult. The ladies and Angel scare him greatly. Especially Cherri, who came to stay here after Angel convinced her that it would be good for her. Charlie has yet to meet the two, only hearing what Angel says about the explosive woman. “Perhaps I should assist you, Angel.”

“Thanks. I don’t even know what happened.” Angel and I leave Charlie for a short while before we went down to solve our problem: A massive hole in the wall. “They said it was there this morning.”

“Intriguing. It just appeared?”

“Yep.” I cast a spell, trying to find any residual traces and find an explosive residue lying on the outer rim.

“It would appear as if someone threw a bomb at it.” We all look at Cherri, who looks hurt that we’re blaming her.

“It wasn’t me, aight! I was out on the town!”

“Then what could it-” I heard a loud thud, coming from Charlie’s room. “Hold that thought.” I portal to our room and see Charlie: wings out, hooves sticking up, and body,flatly lined up on the floor. 

“Charlie. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered, muffling her speech with the floor. I help her up, dusting her off and straightening her up. “What possessed you to leave the bed?”

“I don’t want to be in here, rotting like a corpse.” I laugh at her metaphor of murder before speaking again. 

“Mon cher. You are in no condition to be roaming about, even healed. I highly advise against such a choice.”

“Who died and made you my dad,” she remarks sarcastically, rolling her eyes while doing so.

“Your father tasked me with your care while he dealt with political problems with the rings. Your mother is trying to negotiate with Heaven to assist with your hotel.”

“Really? They’re doing all that?” Charlotte expressed a look of appreciation towards my explanation, meaning I did my job correctly. 

“That doesn’t justify you want to keep me here.”

“Charlotte. I am not going to risk your safety. NOT again.”

“Al. I’m not in danger anymore. I’m safe here. With you.” She takes my hand in hers, squeezing tightly with reassurance.

“Charlotte. What happened that day?” She winced at the question, hoping I wouldn’t ask.

“I was attacked. With angelic weapons.” “And?”

“That’s it.”

“There’s still the question of who, darling.”

“That’s for me to know and for you and everyone to find out when I’m ready to disclose such info.”

“Charlotte. Please. I want to know who hurt you. They deserve punishment worse than I can deliver.”

“Later. Now, I’m going downstairs. And you can’t stop me.” She rushes out of the room with great haste, with me hot on her tail. She greets the stairs with too much speed and nearly falls, my tentacle catching her right before impact. 

“This is exactly why I said you weren’t permitted to leave.”  

“Charlie!” Niffty runs toward her, helping her right herself on the bottom of the stairs, before hugging her tightly on the shin. The others surround her in a large hug, embracing their once lost friend. As they hug, I notice the plethora of gifts, cards and balloons from other rings that have accumulated in a certain corner of the main lobby.  

“Charlie. We gotta surprise fo’ ya’,” Angel pronounces, dragging her over out of the hug.

“This is Cherri, my friend that I was talkin’ to ya about.” Cherri looks at her with her singular eye, grinning greatly.

“Aye mate! Nice to finally meet’cha, Princess.” Charlie looks ecstatic at the new guest as she hugged her. 

“She’s not the only one. This is Ren, Charlie,” Husk grumbles, dragging the boy from behind him. Charlotte’s grin grew even wider as she approached him and extended her hand for him to shake, only to be turned down as he hid behind Husker.

“We talked about this yesterday, kid. You can't be afraid of girls anymore. Or Angel,” Husker explains.

“Even Niffty?”

“Nah, you can be scared of her. Hell, I am.” 

Niffty cackled at his remark before returning her signature toothy grin.

“Ren. Why are you here? Not that I’m not happy you’re here. I’m ecstatic. Just curious about your reason for seeking redemption.

“My sister,” he whispers, barely audible to us. “His sister. She’s in Heaven,” Husk echoes, making sure that Charlie gets the message.

“That’s great! You want to reunite with your family!”

Suddenly, a burst comes through the door, displaying the King and Queen.

“Hello your-” I begin. They rush over to the both of us, take us by the shoulder and embrace us, squeezing tight. 

“You’re awake!” The king turns to me, eyes glowering in frustration. “How long has she been awake?”

“Not long, your Majesty.”

“Any info?”

“None. She refuses to talk about it.”

“Not for long.” 

Lucifer walks towards her, hugs Charlotte, then speaks. 

“Charlotte Morningstar.” She looked up at him, having never heard her full name from him before. 

“You need to tell us what happened. No prancing around the subject. Just the truth. Please.”

“Dad, I-”

“Charlie. The truth. I’m not asking this just because you are my daughter, but because someone crossed a line hurting a member of royalty. So please. Just tell us.”

“We’re your parents, too, Charlie. And your our daughter. Seeing you hurt was devastating. Something like that should not happen.”

“Mom. Everything’s fine. But fine. I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you.”

“If I may, your Majesties, can we take this somewhere more…private?”

“Of course.” I lead us to our room, where we sit Charlie in the bed and us three around it before Charlotte began. 

“I was headed to Cannibal Town to see Al.”  She looks at me, expression softening. “But I never even reached the gates. Some dude grabbed me, stuffed me in a sack and took me somewhere. The voices were constant and ringing. There was smoke everywhere. So much that it hurt to breathe. They stabbed, shot, burned, and slashed until they were finished before releasing me. Next thing I know, waking up in the hotel today.”

“Charlie. I’m not understanding,” Lucifer exclaims, confused. 

“Charlotte, you woke up once before today,” I say, revealing a small known fact. “I did?”

“Indeed. You regained consciousness whilst I tended to your wounds. You mumbled a few words before slipping back.”

“Okay. Anything useful?”

“No, milady.”

“Okay. So what do we do now?”

“Your mother and I are going to figure out who did this.”

“But Dad, don’t you have work to do?”

“I do. But work can wait. You, Charlie, are my top priority. As my daughter, you will always take priority to me more than anything.”

“I know, Dad. And I’m thankful. But it’s not necessary. I can manage on my own. I have this far, I can continue.”

“We know, but we’re still worried. Maybe you should stay in the palace with us. Both of you.” She looks at me, warmth filling her face.

“You have found love, Charlie. I will never intend to separate you from him, so long as he doesn’t hurt you.”

“A gracious offer, your Majesty, but I think we would both prefer to reside here at the hotel. Charlotte believes this is where she belongs.”

“Do not speak on behalf of my Daughter, sinner. Know your place.”

“Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that, Dad. Alastor is telling the truth. I don’t want to go back to the palace.”

“Very well. If that is your decision, we will abide by it.” They get up to leave, wishing Charlie a speedy recovery, but as they leave, the Queen pulled me aside. 

“I need a favor from you, Alastor.”

“Oh? And what might that be, my Queen?”

“To help Charlie heal.” She lays a hand on my head before murmuring something in what I am guessing to be an ancient demonic dialect. A warm glow emits from her hand, tracing a small emblem on the small spot in between my ears and antlers. 

“I have given you a small portion of my healing abilities to assist Charlie. Use it to the best of your abilities. And take this,” she explains, summoning a dial phone, and handing it to me. “If you or Charlotte ever need to reach me, use that, especially about the wretch who hurt her. I do plan on exile and torment if that is suitable. Understood?”

“Of course, My Queen. Safe tidings.”

“To you as well.” She leaves, and I return to Charlie, who wants to see her parents off.

But when Charlie approaches Ren again, the King swooshes her away, and the Queen, grabbing me and taking us both to the palace, where we see Valentino, the Moth Demon, tied up in front of them. I instantaneously become furious and glare at him, malicious intent in my eyes. And so the interrogation begins.

*teehee*

[lizhly-writes]

@aeluuin hi. anyway! anyway!!!! continued from this normal orv fan knw thing!

This is really not how Kim Namwoon thought he’d be spending his morning.  Or his afternoon.  Or his night.  Or, really, any moment of his existence.  Good to know that, faced with a difficult decision, he’s super chill with picking murder.

He hadn’t had a choice!  Catching one of three insects is the same of killing one of three characters – people with names, personalities, stories!  Stories that, altogether, set this worldline to successful end!  Is he willing to risk that?  Better to kill one of those passerby NPCs no one gave a shit about, right?  He hadn’t had a choice!

Haha, it’s better if he thinks of it like that, isn’t he?  If he really thinks about it – but of course, he’s not going to really think about it.  He’s been spending five minutes carefully not thinking about it, because if he thinks about it, if he really thinks through the implications of what he’s done –

Kim Dokja is staring at him.

“Well, what’ll it be, ahjussi?” Kim Namwoon says, a little manic, because what else could he possibly be at the moment?  This is his doom right here, isn’t it?

It isn’t like the novel.  Can’t be like the novel, when Kim Namwoon has already satisfied scenario conditions.  If Kim Dokja wants to kill him, then Kim Dokja has to do it with his own two hands – literally with his own hands, because it isn’t as if Kim Dokja has a weapon other than his fucking money.

Wow, wouldn’t that be something?  That’s an especially brutal death, isn’t it?  Wouldn’t it be poetic justice if it happened to Kim Namwoon, considering what the original character had been trying to do?

He straightens up, knife at the ready, watching Kim Dokja – watching each blink, each twitch, every little movement – 

Kim Dokja walks away.

“...Eh?  Hey–” Kim Namwoon cuts himself off before he can actually ask why aren’t you going to kill me, because that’s – that’s just the worst question all around, he doesn’t actually want Kim Dokja to reconsider, but… he’s only human.  He’d still like to know.

Hey, isn’t he still the epitome of all of Kim Dokja’s complaints?  His self-hatred issues?  Shouldn’t there be some kind of duel to the death? Kim Namwoon’s not complaining, of course!  But this is…

Anticlimactic.  That’s the word he’s looking for.

Huh.

He exhales. This is… this is an okay outcome.  He wanted Kim Dokja to ignore him.  Kim Dokja is ignoring him.  This is exactly what he wanted.

There’s still five minutes left to his scenario.

He wants to put his head between his knees and just… breathe.  But of course, that’s not allowed.  That show he put up earlier isn’t enough to dissuade everyone from approaching him if he sinks to the floor, curled up in fetal position, not at all paying attention to the world around him.  That’s an easy target if he’s ever seen one.

Kim Namwoon can do that thing if he wants later.  

For now, he leans against the train carriage wall and waits.

...

Kim Namwoon isn’t moving.  He seems content to stand there, smiling defensively, ready to take down anything that dares attack him. Fine.  Kim Dokja will leave him to it.  There are better uses of time than watching a high schooler who doesn’t seem to inclined to do anything.

Five minutes left.

[You have killed a living thing.]

[100 coins have been earned as additional compensation.]

[You have killed a living thing.]

[100 coins have been earned as additional compensation.]

One question answered: eggs do count as living creatures.

If he had more time, it would be easy to portion out the insect egg sack to save every person on this train.  But who has that kind of time?  Furthermore, is that kind of thing worth it to begin with?  What’s the point in lugging around dead weight?

If they’re dead weight, they should be at least loyal.  And there’s no way he could make sure of that.  Ideally, he’d want the Behind The Scenes Contract to be sure – but he remembers that contract being worth far more than what Yoo Joonghyuk could get in these early scenarios.

“Hey,” Kim Dokja says.  “Dokkaebi.  Are you paying attention?  What can I do with these coins?”

Maybe there’s a cheaper option he doesn’t know about.

And certainly there are many people here willing to sign away their lives, if only they could guarantee that they wouldn’t be destroyed.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

My Mother is fucking something else. I had just had a goddamn breakdown a decade ago and lost fucking everything. Then she cut me out of every family event, after I spent a fucking year in treatment to get better -- not therapy every couple weeks treatment, I'm talking psych wards, PHPs, residential facilities. For a goddamn year straight I did everything the doctors and therapists said (except go to Al-Anon, it makes me wanna throw chairs at dumb selfish bitches), took every pill without complaint, dealt with fucking judgment from shitty program people, went over the same sht so much I could teach it -- did teach in the psych ward during my stays in fact, I taught yoga as part of movement therapy.

Every time I was in anybof them it was because *I* put myself there -- because at my worst, I recognized when I was a danger from depression or manic delusions or insomnia for 5 days or too many flashbacks or dissociation episodes... not once did anyone have to force me or even convince me. I took my ass to the ER said, I'm a danger to myself I'd like to sign in.

Got done, learned to drive, got an apartment myself, maintained my med schedule religiously, kept it reasonably clean, maintained my regular check ins with my shrink.

I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to.

And then my mom cut me out of every family event -- I'd hear about it from my sister in law later.

When I confronted her about it being fucking hurtful to be left out of family Christmas, which had been my brother and me and our families from the time I moved out, she had the nerve to get passed at me and yell "I wanted to be able to enjoy one holiday without your fucking drama." (BTW, my suicidal ideation started at 7 and I begged for therapy and the bitch called me a drama queen. It took a suicide attempt that I flatlined during and a court order to keep me in weekly therapy until 18 to get it, and a threat to go straight to the cops with all 3 siblings willing to back me to stop the abuse).

Except it wasn't ONE holiday. She has seen me ONCE since 2014, and I was only invited then bc my oldest sister was in town and she insisted it was us both or neither.

A few years ago I gave her her goddamn wish. She didn't want to be burdened with my drama? Wish fucking granted, she was told I was blocking her and if she ever tried to contact me again, I'd file a restraining order, citing the many medical records documenting her abuse and her enabling of abuse.

She tried calling B and screamed at him for shit none of her business, so I unblocked to say if she ever spoke to my husband that way again, I'd make sure not only I got a restraining order but that everyone in her podunk town she was so concerned about their opinions knew every fucking sordid detail of my entire life under her roof -- I'd pull a goddamn Reynolds Pamphlet of my own.

She's now whining to my mother in law that I'm keeping the kids from her -- I never said fucking boo to them about whether they should talk to her, and they're fucking adults, I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. Hell, no one has ever able to stop my second from what he really wanted in his whole life -- not that my mother would know. They chose not to.

My mother in law keeps saying how she hopes we work it out. I'm like there's nothing to work out. She asked to not deal with my drama as she calls the mental illnesses she caused, so I granted her request and she'll never have to again.

[wewfimapuppie]

idk if i am protecting myself in any way here. but this is my final log.

i am going to have to take the message at face value. i saw the wkrd frighgebed and scared and idk how he perceived what i was doing. i felt like fuck it yknow i might be wrong but this is how its going for me. i felt it was the best thing to do? idk i def said weird shit.

theres no way around it this time. i went manic. i lost my shit. i imagined all that. i scared him.

to me it felt so real dude. so real. it felt like crazg things were happening to me. and i dont have a good support system so idk haha. i hated taking pills. i felt so awful. so i just wanna rely on God for now. and therapy. i'll find a way.

i'll also lay low. wear a black face mask. sunglasses. black beanie. on my way to work and way out. no one will know its me. i'll change and wear a dif sweater and bring a dif jacket yknow i even wanna dye my tips orange like. i feel so embarrassed and i dont wanna see him or have amyone that knows see me. im hiding. im scared. im disappearing. i will just work, head to Tijuana, get uber eats on fridays and some white claws or adjacent when we get comfy. and we dont talk to anyone except maricruz and our coworkwers yknow. stay vigiliant. i rather you dont talk to anyone anymore. we can make friends some other way.

i rather we focus on paying off our debt. and we drop this. we are at a point where we are questioning a text he sent us. we cant do that......

i rather like i said, we lay low, no attention towards ourselves and we wear a mask and domt do shows we are an online act idk. i wanted to be like yahoo lets do shkws z and this happened instead? i went manic? so idk i need to just dont interact w ppl like natasha i look stupid and crazy i have no supplrt to tell me um this is mania.

i can still paint, i can still sell, i can still make music even. but i cant expand or be public in san diego nah nope. i dont ever wanna see him or anyone. this is embarrassssing dude.

lets jjst keep it simple. food. paint. youtube. spotify. cookies and weed. some alcohol. lets just chill yknow? like back to the status quo? but this time we start fresh i guess. but for rn i rather be alone lmao. i feel cringe.

hopefully i can just focus on the job and getting my life together. thats all i can do. ni modo yknow? what else can i do? stay stuck on this? lets just move on. and focus on keeping ourselves afloat. safe. we will be okay. i still want to pray.

the last thing i'll say though is idk why he said that he blocked me bc i sent him noods when

1. he hearted them

2. he djdnt blkck me

3. i blocked him that time

4. i didnt sent him noods this time?

also i specifically have not mentioned his name jjst ryan and my complaints are like... justified?

so my theories on that is...

1. that... wasnt him...

2. he is like.... a psychopath and it isnt even me!! to twist it. make me feel like i went crazy??

3. hes saying a lie to cover why he really blocked me and its i seem crazy.

its just weird he said 2 wrong things. that i ever falked shit abt him and that i sent nudes now kr that he bloxked me when i did it 3 years ago? like he has reason to say jt was fhe Gkd stuff....

he also just ignored anything i said. about the holy ghost stuff. he didnt talk about God at all. the message was like in broken english it was weird. maybe he was scared? but why say a lie ljke that? when i felt its either im crazy or im...on to something. .

and why did he unblock me at all? to warn me or settle it? its still weird to ignore my one accusation. bro. whats with the staring.

but idk its weird like its enough where theyd know what happened. the email. the calling. ryan. the other subtle ways of contact.

so idk i think he couldnt say its bc you seem crazy and he gave you that reason as to why he blocked you even if it doesnt make sense. eventually we're gonna have to accept this is his response. idk abt what he knows abt me and ryan but i know he knows that unsolicited nudes thing is whack bc be liked them and he never blocked me i blocked him... so wtf.

i hate that this wasnt to me, a proper response. like ok i was frightening shit. but wait ur saying u blocked me? nah u blocked me now. no njdes. so idk what to make of this response. to believe it? theres an incorrect factoid.... that isnt it. so shit what now? now that is what will drive me crazy is saying that shit when that didnt happen.

thags what makes me think maybe he was a... cooky guy. bc hes lying. hes manipulating the situation. he didnt explaim himself. just said i was scary and a lie.

idk what it is at this point. him. me? what are the next steps? well... i rather we pretend it didnt happen. im never contacting him or seeing him. im leaving him alone. i dont want to make it worse. i can find "normal" love like tanner. no celestial shit. just hey we fit.... i wish it was normal. i'll pray for it.

but we forget him Riv.... he's gone. whatever it is you thought... his response, whether you believe it or not, could be his real response. and theres signs that your perspective is skewed. and this is it.

i know the nudes thjng sticks out to you Riv. but what are you supposed to do with that suspicion? i cant go see him and be like "was that really you?" like shiiiit no. so now what?

that is why i wanna tell you this; i need to feed you and pay your debt so im getting u a job. but i will also tell you this; if its meant to be it will be. if that isnt him, the real him will appear. but if not, you have more to live for

so. we forget any of this ever happened. we are in incognito mode. we keep it chill. focus on your mental health.

start working. start forgetting. get good at hiding. keep it simple. we can walk away from this bruv. who says we need to acknlowledge this happened? im dropping thjs. even the lie. it could be a cover up to a harsher feeling. we was nice enough to wish me good health....

i will be w say sd and just surviving. this is my last zane log tbh. for my safety and wellbeing.

[mosesdumpin]

Happ birtd to me, I am 33

The very first musing of my 33rd year was about the absolute manic state of my "body count" and how its basically all bunched up around my early to mid-20s, but more specifically I felt nostalgic for the momentary strike of realization after every encounter - set between the usual stages of self-doubt and fear - that I am lucky to be a rat among cockroaches.

That men have set the bar so fucking low I am pretty sure there is not a single casual encounter I have had that wasn't entirely determined by my ability to command a presence without being threatening or degrading to others. This is not a talent. Its not even a positive character trait of mine, in the same way "not murdering people" isn't a character trait even if its technically true?? This sorta accounts for a tapering of experiences, since getting older tends to weed out the lowest of cockroaches and therefore raise the bar (not... by too much) and I can only blame my lack of effort in that direction a little since most of my experiences (even in their peak of occurrence) were more or less surprises. To clarify, it wasn't that I was surprised to be having smeggs (sex but not specifically... biblical??) just that I would go out and meet people and be open to encounters and then have those encounters. The bar was so fucking low. On the occasions I wondered enough to ask why they chose me to enjoy a skin to skin jiggy, it was always some version of "you were nice, paid attention, weren't creepy" and holy shit have I never been complimented in such a pathetic way just by nature of my competition. a few frank partners in body crimes would sometimes point out that they didn't feel like they had to do anything to earn my attention and that I was very unlikely to reject them which is uh... not great? I guess?? As I am remembering, one person added "but it didn't seem like your entire night was hinging on whether I was going to have sex with you" which okay? I guess that is fine? I wonder why this always made me feel like I was eating something lukewarm that should have been hot.

I'd love to say "never had any complaints" but lets be real. There was drinking involved and I (and sometimes my partner) have a device that hinges on blood pressure in order to even function and even when they had a different device sometimes that shit didn't work right either and its like 50/50 prolly my fault, but I will say only a tiny minority were memorably regrettable. The rest are great memories! I wish dating was different and people weren't so weird about intimacy because I really like that stuff man! People and bodies are really cool! It feels nice to make others feel nice, especially when they are making YOU feel nice, or like, both people are feeling nice but together, ya know? Anyways, I'm getting old, so I digress. Cheers, fuckers.