#mandalorian crack

[t65flyer]

Bo: Can I ask you something?

Din: What is it?

Bo: Those arrows on your gauntlets…

Din: What about them?

Bo: …are they there to tell you which way to point your gun? 😏

Din: … 😑

[darlingjmiller]

R5: [beeps happily]

Din: i’m sorry, i don’t speak Binary

Me, a non-binary:

hell yeah brother

[djarinsstuff]

Din Djarin is coming... To the movies cause Grogu really wants to see the new Barbie movie

[trashcora]

[gamelpar]

*looks at smudged writing on hand* yeah sure i've heard of a star war in a galaxy far from here. heard it could've been so good if only

[beskarfrog]

he convinced him to get in

[dindjarindiaries]

Don't worry guys, Din Djarin's helmet arc is gonna come back because there is no way Grogu is ever gonna be adhering to that rule and hiding his adorable face forever which means that Din will be forced to reckon with it again!! We WILL win!!!!!!

[wrathkitty]

Short Debts Make Long Friends - Can Your Helmet Play Elevator Music?

Can Your Helmet Play Elevator Music?

(something silly to tide you guys over until 19.3)

Eleanor: I changed locations Mando: WHAT - where did you go? Eleanor: The cafe Mando: WHY? Eleanor: I decided I was fit for public consumption Mando: Why did you move? Didn't I tell you to stay put? Mando: Are you sitting at the usual outside table? Eleanor: No, that fucking oompa loompa stole it Eleanor: Bitch Mando: I'm headed there now. Did you get another table outside? Eleanor: inside Eleanor: outside Eleanor: Upside Eleanor: it's all relative

This was the result of me being stoned out of my mind on prescription medication last month, and @djarins-cyare patiently playing along when I messaged her and said HEY I'M GONNA BE ELEANOR AND YOU'RE GONNA BE MANDO WOOOOOO

(@leithatnight, ask and you shall receive...!)

OK, back to evil chapter 19.3...

@last-of-cheese

@ababysupernova

@onlydrawnbad

@myswficlist

@mariwinns16

@mandindjarin

@coffeebeforewater

@terecord

@leithatnight

@lokiofstoriesalwaysthemselves

@djarins-cyare

@shsoba05

@sleepingghoule444

@sjdraws-00

@dontletyourchildrenwatchthis

@moondirti

@teehee-47

@jbarness

@cecilyjmorgenstern

@reileth

@mareebird

@essence-stealer

@itchyfly

@stagerightlauren

@jackieblogsstuff

@camishadjarin

@ellenmunn

@xoxo-lyss

@princessofclovers

@ezrasleftarm

@onlydrawnbadreads

@brighterthanlonelywords

@caffiend-queen

@dindenimchicken

@harriedandharassed

@everythingiwanttoread

@nightlore106

@senassn

@greensabereyesforcevictim

@chickenshit03

@anniet852

@dinnerisserveddjarin

@sixhours

@epple-benene

@din-djarins-spouse

@cactusandsun

[tres-pistolas]

Handsome Luke Dance

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I had a dream where Disney gave me the greenlight to make my own Star Wars spin-off show. What I came up with was a comedy-musical show in which Din, Bo-Katan, Sabine, and Ezra ended up in an alternate universe that’s a musical version of their world. I don’t remember the exact details of the entire season, but the season finale was:

1) Din and Bo-Katan absolutely slaying “From this Moment On” by Shania Twain and Bryan White. I think the arc I gave them was that they absolutely didn’t want to take part in the singing and the only way to return home was to sing at least one song.

2) Sabine and Ezra had to do the same, but they ended up with “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. So they had the more fun climax lol.

3) The main villain turned out to be alternate universe Obi-Wan, who used the Force to create the musical universe.

[mimomentomori]

More DinLuke Thoughts: Ghost Edition

I adore how A) it's agreed that Din is as force sensitive as a Rock and B) the trope that he gets even a little bit enraged on Luke's behalf when he learns that Vader was his father and the man responsible for 'disarming' him.

But what if, somehow, Din was able to meet the Force Ghosts via some Darksaber/Force ossik?

Luke: Darling, I'd like you to meet my former Masters!

Din: How hard did you hit me during our last spar?

Luke: Please you were only out for two seconds. Oh, father is here too!

Din: ...

Anakin: ...

Obi-Wan and Yoda: 👀

Luke: Babe no.

Din: Let me go cyare.

Luke: Din you can't punch a ghost!

Din: W a t c h m e!

[din-miller]

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

Pairing: Din Djarin x gn!Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: pirates come looking for Grogu but find you alone in the cabin instead

Warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of decapitation, no angst, yeah you read that right decapitation but no angst to be found in this bad boy, it's just comical trash, crack fic really, reader is a sarcastic asshole, married couple, slightly unhinged reader, Din even more so and don't get me started on Grogu, cabin fic, mentions of Moff Gideon, mentions of med-school drop out reader,

A/N: this started off as a serious fic full of sorrow, then somehow turned into a night time comedy special. I'm proud of myself.

You don't normally let Din and Grogu head to the marketplace without you, but you woke up with a sore throat this morning and it hasn't gone away. You tried to convince your husband to let you join them. Fresh air would do you good, you had helplessly reasoned.

"Fresh air does nothing for sore throats. Rest does though mesh'la." Din argued back.

"Oh I didn't realise you were the one who dropped out of med school."

Needless to say, you didn't win that argument.

So now you're stuck in a cabin that you didn't know could be so quiet. For there only being three of you, the house is constantly loud. To be fair Grogu is now speaking in full sentences.

You've been alone before without them, but this time there's something unsettling. Like a bad omen is lurking in the daylight.

You should've contacted Din the moment the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. But you didn't and now you're standing in the living room with two men as you stare down the barrel of a blaster.

"You're going to regret this," You sighed, dramatically, "Look, I'm currently in the middle of making dinner and I have a sore throat. Can we get this over with?"

The tall one – let's call him Lance – glanced over at the short one – Manny. Yeah, that suits him – and sent him a baffled look.

"Where's The Child?" Manny growled and despite knowing you'll win this, you always do, your stomach turned at knowing they're here for your son.

With a shrug you crossed your arms non threateningly, "It's just me here. I'll let you know if I see a child though."

Lance glanced around the room, "You have a lot of kids toys for not having a kid."

"What? A person can't have a hobby?" You raised your brow, acting mildly offended.

Manny stepped forward, hand tightening around his weapon, "Enough! I know you have The Child. Give him to us and we won't kill you. Deal?"

"A deal?" You scoffed, "Why the hell would I make a deal with some lousy pirate? You're not even holding your blaster properly."

He looked down at his weapon, brows drawn tightly together, "I'm not?"

You tisked and pointed to the gun, "Allow me?"

When he gave a small nod you stepped forward, "Here, one hand grips right here... Good, now loosen this hand."

As soon as the blaster is loose enough you grabbed it out of his hand and pressed it against the lower region of his body. He froze, eyes going comically wide.

Lance, being weaponless already, raised his hands in an act of surrender. Honestly when you first felt like you were being watched you thought it would be a little more exciting than this. There's always next Monday you guess.

"You two are actually doing me a favour, bearing you don't have any allergies," You waited for them to shake their heads, "Good. Follow me into the kitchen. See, I've been trying out a recipe for my husband and I's anniversary – it's this weekend, you're not invited. Anyways, I'm not sure I have the correct level of spice to it."

"I'm sure your husband will enjoy it."

"Thank you Lance," You smiled and held a fork full of spicy food to his mouth. You watched as he took in the flavour and deemed it plenty spiced enough, "I'll get you boys a plate full."

Your eyes darted back and forth as they ate, taking in every reaction they had to each bite. It's a silent meal, rather uncomfortable for them you imagine.

Manny set down his fork, "This is our last meal isn't it?"

You blew out a breath, "Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way that your actions have consequences."

Lance politely raised his hand, "Can I have a glass of water?"

"Unfortunately, Lance, you can't. You know why? Because you're trying to murder my family, that's why." You growled, then cocked your head towards the door leading outside, "Now do I have to tie you both to the porch or can I trust you to behave and sit like good boys?"

"We'll behave," Lance said, stepping over the cabin's entry doorway, "Right Manny?"

The short man huffed, "I ain't itching for a blaster fire to the back, Lance."

They both sat on the bench and leaned back against the wall. You took a seat opposite of them, perched on top of the railing you had installed after you moved in.

"Who do you work for?" You asked, blaster twirling in your hand, safety on.

Manny rolled his eyes, "We work for ourselves."

You hummed, "Why us? Why the kid?"

"Figured it would be an easy target now that the Mandalorian is dead."

For the first time since he interrupted your day, you're taken back at his words, "Dead, you say?"

"Yeah, in the fight with Moff Gideon." Lance explained, "We heard you adopted his son."

You have to give him credit for knowing at least that part. You did adopt Grogu. Married Din the same day too.

How many people out there think Din's dead? And who's the dumbass that thought Moff Gideon could kill Din?

Your eyes narrowed in on Lance when his jaw dropped and you could see the faint shine of sweat gathered at his temple, "Am I seeing things?"

"Oftentimes yes, but that's him," Manny shrunk in on himself, eyes forward in horror, "That's the Mandalorian."

You look back behind you, your eyes locking in on your husband. He looks furious, even underneath all his armour. His blaster is already in his hand and floating beside him is Grogu. Your son has his hand held up directly in front of him, eyes squinted – a warning.

This is the proudest you've ever been.

"Ner kar'ta," Din's hands are on you, moving different parts of your clothing around searching for a wound he won't find, "Are you okay?"

Lance nodded, "A little parched – oh, you're not talking to me, right that makes more sense."

You smiled down at the man. He's absolutely hopeless, but it gives him a fun personality. Too bad he has to die.

"I'm okay, I promise," You reassured him, "How was the marketplace?"

"Dull without you there to keep us company," Din said, Grogu nodding in agreement, "How was resting?"

You glanced down at the two men, "I had some unwanted visitors interrupting my relaxation."

Din looked them over, "Why are they unharmed?"

"The only weapon I had in reach was Manny's blaster," You held up the weapon while simultaneously introducing Manny to your husband, "Felt wrong to kill a man with his own gun."

Din pulled Manny up by the back of his shirt, the short man standing on his tippy toes to avoid strangulation.

Manny patted Din's beskar chest piece of armour, "Look Mr. Mandalorian, this is all a misunderstanding-,"

"Yeah," Lance stood up and his friend shook his head, silently telling him to stop, "We thought you were dead."

Din dropped Manny. The man crumbled to the ground, Din's foot pinning him down. You watched as your husband's attention turned to Lance.

"And that gave you permission to hunt down my riduur and child?" He growled, every bit the Mandalorian these pirates fear, "Tell me why I shouldn't put your head on a pike for all your pirate friends to see."

Lance turned to you for help. You looked past him to your husband and nodded, "It would give me much pleasure to see shabuirs like them displayed as an example to why no one touches my family."

"What my riduur wants, they shall receive," Din hauled both men up, his grip tight enough to leave nasty bruises on their skin, "This should only take two hours. Longer if the tall one is stupid enough to run his mouth."

"Two hours!" Manny exclaimed, "I can cut my own head off in less than a minute. I'll even save you some effort and behead Lance too!"

"You don't understand," Din grinned under his helmet, body humming with anticipation, "The effort is my favourite part," Din nodded his head in your direction, "Eat without me, mesh'la. I'll be back in time to tuck Grogu in."

"I'll have the shower ready for you when you get home," You promised, "Oh, and make sure to take your time, alright?"

Din activated his jetpack, throwing down a quick 'i love you' before taking off. You looked down at Grogu, "Your buir and I will never let anything or anyone hurt you. We love you, kid"

[fwtcanimelover]

Order 66 au

Where most of the Jedi survive order 66 because the Mandalorians get a heads up about order 66 and decides to adopt the Jedi. It starts off with just wanting to adopt the younglings. Then it escalates to adopting the padawans and the younglings, then the knights, then they wanted to adopt the masters for some reason, and you can't forget to adopt the temple guards, so before they know it they've adopted the entire Jedi order. The Mandalorians' adoption senses just keep on increasing and become stronger during order 66. It ends up becoming a competition to see who can adopt the most amount of Jedi. So the temple still looks the same with it being on fire, but there is a huge swam of Mandalorians coming in to surprise adopt a jedi, then coming out with as many jedi as they can carry. Yes they really did adopt Master Yoda.

Or

The Kaminioans had a feeling that Palpatine was going to betray them, so instead of the inhibitor chips making the clones kill the jedi, it gives a strong boost to their Mandalorian instinct to adopt, so basically they adopt the jedi instead of killing them. So when order 66 is issued they adopt the first jedi they see. Obi wan was confused when his men started to shout "adopt the jedi", then even more confused when he is called a foundling.

Or if both scenarios are happening at once, it could be a competition between the clones and the Mandalorians to see who can adopt the most amount of jedi. The bad batch also joins in, they are confused as to why Crosshair wants to adopt the padawan so bad, but they decide to adopt the padawan too, Caleb Dume is now their son, Omega gets a space wizard brother and is happy that they too got a jedi. Depa got adopted by her squad.

Palpatine is confused and is fuming. He has even more trouble in the senate because the senators want to adopt the jedi too, where's their space wizard? They want one too! Then it gets even more problematic because republic citizens also want to adopt jedi. Instead of order 66 being called the purge, it was called the great adoption. Also Padme doesn't die.

[alex-iltempo]

Well, that b¡tch just gave the new life to old saying "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies!"

[lummox-exe]

(on the topic of the new mando trailer)

skull emoji

[dindjarindiaries]

What if they had waited to let Din get his redemption in the last episode of The Mandalorian season 3 after retaking the planet? His character arc would've been able to grow in a really touching way.

While Din would've, of course, still bathed in the Living Waters (of his own desire), he would've had to spend time convincing the covert to help him and Bo-Katan retake the planet without either one of them being in the covert's good graces.

Din, essentially, would've had to come to terms with who he is beyond his Creed and who the rest of the COTW are without the Creed to get through to them in order to get them to aid the effort and unify with their fellow Mandalorians, despite their differences.

Think of how interesting of a story that would've been. Din bathing in the Living Waters at the end of it all then would've been a simple act of his honor, that he gave his word even as a child and intends to stick to it - but he would know he's so much more than that.