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#Managed Print Services Market#Managed Print Services Market Share#Managed Print Services Market Size#Managed Print Services Market Trends#Managed Print Services MarketValue
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#Managed Print Services Market#Managed Print Services Market size#Managed Print Services Market share#Managed Print Services Market trends#Managed Print Services Market analysis#Managed Print Services Market forecast#Managed Print Services Market outlook#Managed Print Services Market overview#Managed Print Services Market report
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Managed Print Services Market: Increasing Adoption of Cloud-based MPS Solutions Drives Market Growth
The global Managed Print Services (MPS) Market is estimated to be valued at US$42.09 billion in 2023 and is expected to exhibit a CAGR of 8.52% over the forecast period 2019-2027, as highlighted in a new report published by Coherent Market Insights. Market Overview: Managed Print Services (MPS) refer to the comprehensive management of an organization's printing requirements and devices including printers, copiers, and multifunctional devices. MPS solutions help organizations optimize their printing infrastructure, reduce costs, improve efficiency, and enhance security. These services provide convenience and scalability, enabling organizations to focus on their core business activities. The need for MPS is driven by the increasing preference for digitization, the growing complexity of print-related issues, and the desire to streamline printing processes.
#Managed Print Services Market Growth#Managed Print Services Market Size#Managed Print Services Market Trends#Managed Print Services Market Overview
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I have a desk job that’s basically fancy customer service, with a manager who can be a real asshole.
So I was feeling a little cheesed off at work the other day, but then I saw a Twin Peaks post on Twitter that broke through my irritation and made me smile. And I thought to myself, ‘man, if Dale Cooper was here, he would sympathize with me and tell me I’m doing a great job.’
On a related note, did you know that in the U.S. you can use the Walgreens app to print any photo from your camera roll into a full size glossy photograph for less than $3?
#money well spent.#now whenever I’m mad I can look at him and go. no. Cooper would tell me to keep my cool#he would call my boss an absolute ass but give me a smile#anyway. he is like an uncle to me.#twin peaks#dale cooper#pudditxt
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“You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the windows to your soul’ thing was until I saw yours.” + fluff + cafe AU ; requested by @kiv1!
He’s sure Danny didn’t expect to see him every other day after he casually mentioned that he had gotten a part time job at a local cafe. However, as his friend, it is Duke’s moral duty to only get coffee from that shop while Danny is on shift, specifically to annoy him.
Also, so he can support his friend, but being annoying takes priority.
It’s a routine now, for both of them. Danny clocks in for his shift and an hour later Duke is strolling into the cafe with his eyes locked on Danny’s. The rest of the baristas always shove Danny up to the register when they see Duke, taking over whatever order he was making. Even some of the other regulars turn their attention up to the counter, hoping for another few minutes of entertainment.
Danny sighs as he gets ready to input Duke’s order. It’s never the same one, because Duke would hate to be predictable and make things easier for Danny, but it has the side effect of making him realize that some of the expensive, seasonal drinks are really good.
It’s a bit hard on his wallet, but it’s a price he’s willing to pay for teasing Danny.
“Hey,” he greets cheerfully as he leans against the counter, grinning at Danny.
Danny sighs again. “What can I get you today, random customer that keeps bothering me.”
“A latte, but make it sweet somehow. And iced.”
“What size would you like?”
“Let’s go with medium today.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah.” Duke leans closer to Danny, watching as he fights down a smile. “I just gotta say that you got gorgeous eyes. You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the window to your soul thing’ was until I saw yours.”
Danny considers this for a moment, then shakes his head. “It kind of sounds like your trying to steal my soul through my eyes.”
“Why is that what your mind goes to?”
“Well. I watched Coraline last night.”
Duke stares at Danny, taking in the dark circles under his eyes. “...Didn’t you say that movie gave you nightmares as a kid?”
“Yeah! And it turns out, it gives me nightmares even now!”
“And ruined my pick up line,” Duke complains playfully.
“It was too cheesy anyways,” Danny replies, putting Duke’s order into the screen. It prints a moment later, no doubt with some bizarre name since Danny refuses to actually name Duke on his orders, and then recites the price.
He pays and watches as Danny slaps the order onto a medium sized up, then tosses it over to the barista making the drinks. He’s not actually sure what her name is since she refuses to wear a name tag, but she always gives him a wave and also a rating of how good his pick up lines are.
“Seven out of ten!” she calls out to him today, then gets started on making his drink.
“I don’t see why you don’t flirt with anyone else,” Danny says, “I’m pretty sure my coworkers like your pick up lines even more than they like me.”
“Why would I want to flirt with them? Danny, I’m literally only here to bother you.”
Danny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, trust me, I know. My good looks just keep pulling in business.”
He says it like a joke, but it’s true. Duke has noticed it. Danny’s coworkers have noticed it. His manager noticed it and now has him out on the floor every shift. If they can get him to work on the chalkboard sign outside, or wipe down the two tables out front, then they do it, because Danny is Midwestern to his core and it’s very charming in a place like Gotham. He smiles at people as they walk by, happily answers their questions when they ask him what the cafe serves, recommends food and drinks for them, is generally a bright and nice person to everyone who comes near the cafe.
His cute looks draw people in, then his personality makes them stay.
It’s all customer service, of course, because Duke never gets the cute, sunny Danny. He’s left with the sarcastic, rude, and funny Danny that’s been his friend since they met in junior year of high school.
“Your eyes are really pretty, though,” Duke says, “Very blue. Sometimes green. It’s no wonder people keep falling for you!”
Danny reaches across the counter to shove Duke away, but he’s blushing, so Duke is counting it as a win. “Shut up. Now you’re just lying. My eyes are never green.”
“Yes, they are. Danny, I’ve seen them multiple times. They’re green sometimes.”
“No? My eyes have literally only ever been blue. They’re the bluest blue to ever blue. They don’t just turn green.”
They squint at each other for a long moment, trying to figure out who’s wrong and in what way. Duke’s pretty sure Danny’s wrong, since he can’t exactly see his own eyes, and Duke has spent an embarrassing amount of time just admiring how nice they are in different kinds of light. But also, they are Danny’s eyes, so he should know what color they are.
Then Danny’s coworker is setting down Duke’s drink on the pick up counter, giving Danny an excuse to get back to work.
“One medium oatmeal cookie iced latte for Cornelius Aggravating Douglas.” He holds up the drink and makes very direct eye contact with Duke, holding out the drink towards him.
“Did you really have to make the initials ‘Cad’?”
“Yes.”
“Fair enough,” Duke says, making Danny crack a smile.
“Are you heading out after this?”
Duke grabs a straw and sticks it into his latte, swirling it around some. “That was the plan, yeah. Got a few library books to pick up. Why?”
“I got approval for a half shift today, so I’m off in like ten minutes, if you wanna wait for me.”
“Hell yeah, dude! I’ll wait outside so I don’t distract you with my flirtatious winks again.”
“Get out of here,” Danny laughs. Duke lifts his drink in a quick toast, then gets out of there. He takes a seat at one of the tables out front, content to just people watch as he slowly sips his latte.
It’s cloudy out, but not raining, which is always a plus. As much as he’d like to see the sun, these kinds of days aren’t so bad, either. The wind still carries a bit of a chill, but the spring is steadily warming things up. There are tons of people out, a constant rush of movement, but a few do catch sight of him, then look towards the cafe, their steps slowing down as they think. Most keep walking, but Duke does manage to get a few to go in just by taking a long sip of his latte to really enjoy it.
Really, he should be getting compensated for the work he’s doing to draw people in. Danny’s not the only one who can do it.
Bruce keeps offering him money, so he doesn’t need to get paid, but maybe he can convince the other employees to talk Danny into accepting one of his pick up lines so they can go on a date one of these days.
It’s become a bit of a joke, but the first time Duke used a cheesy pick up line on Danny, he was being absolutely serious about it. He definitely shouldn’t have used a pick up line he found from a website centered on relationship advice, but he panicked and needed some extra help.
Instead of smoothly asking Danny out on a date, Duke froze up, blurted out the pick up line, then had to laugh it off with Danny and pretend it was a joke.
He still wishes he was able to ask Danny out properly before, but he’s also glad that they got to spend more time as friends, getting to know each other. It’s easier to be with him now, no longer so tongue tied and flustered.
Duke gets to fluster Danny now, which is much better.
And maybe one day his pick up lines will work! Sooner or later Danny’s going to question why he keeps doing this, and then he’ll connect the dots and understand what Duke feels for him.
As it is, he has yet to connect shit.
“My eyes are definitely blue,” Danny says as he walks out of the cafe, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “I checked while I was putting my apron away.”
“You’re still on that?”
“They’re blue.”
Duke gestures for Danny to come closer. He complies and leans down, letting Duke cup his face in his hands. He checks, considers, then checks again, and says, “They are indeed blue.”
“Told you they weren’t green,” Danny says smugly, pulling back.
“And I said they were green sometimes. Now clearly isn’t one of those times, but they do turn green!”
“I don’t think you should be allowed to say any eye-related pick up lines until you admit that you were wrong and didn’t know my eye color.”
Shaking his head, Duke stands up and pushes in his chair. “Just wait, I’ll catch it sometime and prove it to you.”
“Sure, whatever. Don’t you have library books to get?”
“Yeah, you coming with?”
“Obviously. Why else would I leave my wonderful job where I am left alone to make drinks in peace?” Danny knocks his shoulder against Duke playfully, then reaches over and steals his drink right out of his hand. He takes a sip, makes a pleased hum, and drains half of what was left in the cup.
“Hey!” Duke moves to take it back, which is naturally the exact moment Danny takes off running, effortlessly dodging everyone else on the sidewalk. He takes off after Danny, using his powers to make sure he can move out of the way of anything or anyone who gets in his path.
They’re past the block when Danny starts to slow down, taking another sip of Duke’s latte.
He puts on a final burst of speed and all but tackles Danny into the mouth of an alley, reaching for his cup. “Gotcha!”
“No!” Danny wails dramatically. He takes a step back and Duke watches as his power kicks up again, showing him a vision of Danny stepping on an empty can and falling back. Except he doesn’t really fall back? His foot rolls back on the can for a second, then goes through the can and settles back onto the ground where he catches his balance. Through the entire three second fall, Danny’s eyes are a bright green, brighter than Duke’s ever seen them.
His vision fades away and he moves to catch Danny, taking the chance to watch carefully as Danny’s foot does indeed go through the can. He quickly brings his gaze up to Danny’s eyes, which are green, but not inhumanly bright like they were in his vision.
Is the green not perceptible to normal humans?
He can probably only see it due to his powers. Which means he somewhat inadvertently outed himself as a meta.
Whoops!
Might as well just bite the bullet.
“Hey, do you have powers?”
Danny chokes, shoving Duke away as he coughs and tries to clear his throat. He looks panicked, wild-eyed, searching for an escape route. “What? No. Why would I have powers? Maybe you have powers, have you ever considered that?”
“I mean. I do have powers. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Hold up. Stop talking. You have powers?”
“And your eyes are green sometimes.”
“That’s. No, they’re not,” Danny lies. It’s a very bad lie, seeing how on edge he is, and as much as Duke hates making Danny feel like that, he did get some bad habits while training with Bruce and this is one of them: the need to keep pushing, chasing after clear answers regardless of what the cost is.
Duke shrugs, taking a sip of his latte, down to its last few mouthfuls, acting casual. “If you say so. But my powers don’t lie, man. As much as I wish they would, sometimes.”
“...Can we not do this out here?” The defeated tone Danny speaks with makes Duke hate himself. But he needs answers now. He needs to know if Danny is like him, if he’s safe, if he needs help. He needs it more than he needs Danny to like him at all.
“Sure. I know a few quiet places we can talk.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Danny mutters. “Did my eyes really give it away?”
“Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I also didn’t realize until literally right now, so I don’t think anyone else will figure it out just from staring into your eyes.”
“See, this is what happens when you keep flirting when you don’t mean it. Secrets get pulled out into the open and it’s bad for everyone!”
Duke lightly punches Danny’s arm, trying to lift the mood. “Hey, who said I didn’t mean it?”
“What?”
“Who said I didn’t mean it when I flirt with you?”
Danny blinks at him, confused, then says, “I mean, no one I guess. But it’s pretty obvious?”
“I only flirt with you, you know.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Duke says, trying to ignore how his voice shakes slightly. “There’s another one of my secrets. Can we call it even now?”
“Oh!” The shock of the revelation distracts Danny from his earlier nerves. Which is great, because now Duke is the one who’s nervous. It’s worth it, though, seeing the pretty blush come to bloom on Danny’s cheeks. “So all those pick up lines—”
“Yeah.”
“And the pick up line made you realize my powers!”
“These pick up lines are doing the most,” Duke agrees. And then he realizes, “Hey, you what this means? I was right! Your eyes are windows to your soul!”
“I’m going to hit you,” Danny says, already winding back for a solid punch. He lets Danny hit him since it’s only fair for the stress he caused; as a meta, Duke knows how important secrecy is, how the difference between life and death can be just how well his powers are hidden.
“Are we even now?”
Danny considers him for a moment, then sighs. “Yeah, I guess. Let’s be done with this for now, okay? Let’s go to the library.”
He refuses to entertain any conversation about powers or Duke’s feelings for him. It’s nice to spend time with Danny, but by the end, Duke is sure he can feel his heart start to crack in half. A sleepless night awaits him when he gets home, moving past his cousin’s attempts to talk to him in favor of flopping face down onto his bed.
But the next day, Danny grins at him when he walks into the cafe. He doesn’t have a new pick up line, choosing instead to act as calm and casual as possible to give Danny some space.
Also breaking routine, Danny insists on personally making Duke’s drink, writing something onto the cup before he fills it up with a floral tea.
You’re so fine, you made me forget my pick up line, is scrawled on the side of his cup when he gets it.
“Enjoy your drink, Cutiepie the Third,” Danny says with a shy smile.
“The Third?” Duke repeats, relief making him feel lighter than air, “Who are the first two?”
“Don’t worry about it, cutie. Get to class!”
Duke lets Danny chase him out, and holds in his laugh when he hears Danny’s coworker screech, “What was that?!”
Yeah, they’ll be fine. In the meantime, Duke needs to see if apology pick up lines are thing. Danny definitely deserves one.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompt fill#my writing#duke went from flirting to accidentally outing both himself AND danny as people w powers. and then lowkey confessing. disaster <3#meanwhile danny has been slowly falling for duke bc of his cute and cheesy pick up lines that he always turned into a joke bc he didnt#believe that it was real. and also his coworkers would embarrass him if he got too flustered#they all ship him and duke btw. so do some of the regulars#coffe with a two minute show lol#thank you for the prompt!!
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The Vampyres--The Bones and Blood of the Book
Good news! I’m not dead and the book isn’t either! Just shambling slowly through the wasteland of the publication process. It’s been a bit since I last waved this bloody morsel around. So, consider this a progress report on the state of the novella, the prospective publishing options, and a few other questions that have been bouncing around in the inbox.
EDIT:
I have a website now! For some reason.
It's See Arcane Scribbles.
Smaller Edit:
Got a Spotify too for story soundtrack goodness:
COVERS
First things first—and the first part of a finished book is the cover. Here are some mockups I’ve been juggling, starting with the original placeholder. They’re far from perfect, but I’m proud of what I managed with a fairly skinny graphic art skill set.
FINISHING, FORMAT, AND FINANCE*
*(OR, THE HEADACHENING)
Copyright: Technically speaking, you have the copyright to your own writing once you put it to paper or screen. But this is somehow a different thing from a legally-binding registered copyright, which everyone declares is a must-have if you want your work to be protected with more than a non-textual trust-fall exercise, hoping nobody steals your work and runs.
That said, electronic registration with the copyright office is $65, or $45 to register one work by one author.
ISBN: I only recently learned the words behind this acronym. ‘International Standard Book Number.’ It’s the ID on a book that marks it as unique and helps commercial booksellers and libraries circulate it. Each iteration of a book—paperback, digital, hardcover, new editions, et cetera—has its own ISBN. When you’re publishing on your own, you purchase ISBNs through a service called Bowker.
One book/version’s ISBN costs $125.
There are better bargains the higher the number of books and/or versions you go, starting at a bulk of 10 books for $295. But as I only have the one (1) skinny novella on the table, that’s a no-go. Which begs the question of how many ISBNs are in store for this little monster. It depends on how many formats I go with.
eBook: The quickest and most cost-efficient option across the board for any self-publication service. Short, sweet, no printing pains of trim sizes or distribution costs or formatting, oh my. Nice.
Paperback VS Hardcover: …But I am now and forever a sucker for physical media. Even though it’s a teeny brochure of a thing, I want to hold a physical copy of The Vampyres in my hands! So bad! And every service I’ve looked through has stated the obvious: Hardcover costs more than paperback. My heart won’t break if I have to stick with paperback to spare everyone’s wallets—hardcovers are pricy in both directions!—but I am a little torn. Especially as physical size might affect the price too.
Here we have two of my favorite quick reads, an anthology of Poe stories and Clive Barker’s novella, The Hellbound Heart.
The Poe book is a clothbound hardcover. 6.5 x 4.5 inches, a bit over 120 pages.
The Hellbound Heart is roughly 8 x 5 inches (about standard for a novella), at 164 pages. But unlike Poe, it looks like Barker took some liberties with the spacing and font size.
Standard size dimensions cost less than unique cuts, which means that whether paperback or hardcover, I sadly have to say goodbye to the petite palm-sized edition I was hoping for. On the upside, good news to us crap-vision readers—the font’s going to get H U G E in order to make the book more than a pamphlet with delusions of grandeur.
Audiobook: The fact is, my voice is not up to the task of reciting anything with appropriate gravitas and I think we’ve all been spoiled by @re-dracula and assorted other podcasts’ skill in orating. I don’t have the cash to hire a professional and I’m not about to accept anyone’s freebie offers. I won’t pickpocket friends for their talent. If an audio version ever comes along for any story of mine it’ll be down the road when it proves worth the format’s effort and cost.
REVIEWS (and a Foreword!)
It was the best of times (People reading the thing! Commenting on the thing! Good good good—), it was the worst of times (The Mortifying Ordeal of People Reading and Commenting on the Thing). Time for what every advice site declares a book absolutely must have the moment it’s thrust into the wild.
Reviews, reviews, reviews.
I’ve already bitten several bullets and passed copies out to a handful of fellow scribblers to scrutinize, their reviews destined to be hung up like literary gold stars on their bookselling site of choice, my own included. Now comes my preliminary grovel to readers en masse to please drop a review, a comment, a blurb of any shape or size where you can once The Vampyres drops. I’ve already gotten some early comments that have consisted mostly of screaming. Screams also count as a review.
As an aside, there are two folks in particular who I reached out to who exist in the stratosphere of Coolest People in the Vampiric Lit scene. They promptly exploded me into disbelieving giblets when they told me, yes, they’d be happy to read my little story and offer up a review and a foreword for the book respectively.
I’m not sure what the decorum here is, but for safety (and surprise’s) sake, I’ll not name names. But they are names I’ve been happy to come across for the past two years while neck deep in the undead book club. I’m infinitely grateful to both of them and am waiting on pins, needles, stakes and kukri blades by my inbox so I can pin their words up inside the book itself.
FUTURE SCRIBBLING
To get one of the biggest questions out of the way, let’s talk about Barking Harker.
My very own object lesson on sunk cost fallacy.
I wrote my way through a goddamn cinderblock of text without even grazing the finish line of the first section of the story. A story made of so many convoluted triple-decker layers of subplots and side characters that it had the structural integrity of a monolithic Nature Valley granola bar, just waiting to fall apart under its own weight. Such is the hubris and curse of too-many-words-itis. The Vampyres remains a miraculous fluke, jotted down during an overdue break from BH’s slog. Not just because I tripped and fell into finishing the story, but because it’s comparatively compact! Brevity at last!
For those still craving the assorted gothic and ghoulish promises of the initial novel idea, don’t worry, those aren’t going anywhere. I’ve just crumbled the metaphorical bloodstained granola by my own hand and have done the sane thing of parsing out the various subplots to become the foundations of their own stories. Which they really should have been from the get-go. Insert 100+ clown emojis here.
On that note, I am turning into WIPs Georg over here. Good god.
I hesitate to throw myself all-in again and make promises of X Story that may leave me spinning my mental wheels or ballooning the plot out into a behemoth that can’t be steered back on course. Even so, here’s a peek at a few ideas I currently have on the brain.
So.
Not exactly lacking for stories. It’s just a matter of seeing which of them breaks ahead of the herd and squeezes out into the publication ether first.
LAST BIT
Blah, blah, requisite reminder that I have a Ko-Fi where you can donate a buck or commission my best attempt at art, blah. Any pennies are a help.
But I’m betting very few of you came around here for my doodles. Somehow, a good amount of people tripped into this pit with me because you enjoy the rambles and horrors I’ve written over the years. Maybe some of you will even buy my book once it’s out. And you, there, on the other side of the screen—you’re reading this right now. You made it all the way to the bottom of this pile of exposition just because you wanted to. So, thank you.
Thank you for reading this far. Thank you for reading before and reading what’s to come. Thank you for giving me the confidence to even consider shouldering my own work out into the wider world.
Thank you.
P.S. If you want to re-read the preview, go here!
#this one is a Big Boy#the vampyres#my writing#my art#horror#the vampyre#dracula#barking harker#Spotify
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The Jackass Guys Working in Fast Food HC’s!
Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, drug use, tampering with food (and general bad food service practices)
An: This fic was largely inspired by this spot the guys did for the Arby’s Action Sports Awards, a concept which still eludes me to this day…
The awards show that invited the jackass guys to host had this sponsorship deal with some fast food company,
And, as written in tiny print on the contract, the guys ended up getting roped into something they’d never thought they’d have to deal with:
Working in food service.
Johnny
Given his position as the leader of the group, Johnny is kinda the manager by default
Partially because he’s so charismatic and partially because he just has pretty privilege so customers can’t get too mad at him
So when the drive through window gets stuck, guess who’s running orders outside?
He was the most responsible one and often takes up the job of cleaning up the dining area,
Even though he did have a tendency to clean off tables while people were eating or sweep a little too close to the patrons,
“Uh, scuse’ me, ma’am…Feet up, please.” And they never seemed to mind!
In fact, anytime someone got their order messed up, guess who they send in?
“I really am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Knoxville shoveled about twenty apple pies into a bag as turned to speak over his shoulder to the pissed off customer
“But I just wanted the order I paid for-”
“Shh…Just between you and me.” Johnny nudged the bag closer to him with a wink, “Go ahead- take it! I gotcha.”
And he actually took it.
Bam
“What’re you- some kinda wussy?” Bam had a tendency to shit talk customer’s orders, often pressuring them to size up,
“C’mon, be a man! You know what, dude? I’m just gonna put you down for a large combo…”
God forbid a customer is rude to him because holy shit. Bam is a master the guerrilla food terrorisim!
He has 100% spit in a guys onion rings because he yelled at him over the drive thru
And you bet he served them with a smile
Even though Bam has that whole line cook look, he’s maybe the worst person you want to have working at your restaurant.
It’s pretty rare that he gets sent out to register duty (due to the fact it takes him forever to make change)
But when he does, he just looks so disheveled from working in the kitchen
I’m talking condiments on his apron, pieces of meat just…hanging off of him, which obviously raised a couple eyebrows
“I mean- I was in the kitchen. I was workin’ hard back there! Can’t you tell?”
Steve-O
Steve couldn’t help but grin to himself when the angry customer over the drive through sarcastically asked him if he was ‘on something’
“Yes, sir- I am.”
Completely opposite to Bam, Steve is the closest thing they have to a model employee due to his experience working shitty jobs
If you order a four piece nugget, and he’s making it, count on getting a fifth one every time because he knows he would be pumped if he got one.
Point is, Steve is the fast food employee everyone loves, and that extends to his work at the counter
When all the guys are hustling to get orders out on time during a rush, guess who’s out there doing clown tricks to keep customers entertained?
Doing backflips off of the counter and juggling condiment packages to keep people happy people while whistling that one circus theme
“If you like the condiment stuff, wait till you see what I do with the drinks!”
Chris
“Welcome to Arby’s! Can I tempt you with my- I mean, our meat?”
Him and Steve have competitions as to who can say the most out of pocket thing over the drive thru speaker. He’s in the lead (for obvious reasons).
One of the best ones he came up with was when he was told to advertise the new dessert offerings,
“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of our pies? The cream is delicious.”
Him and Steve are inseparable, usually spending more time fucking around in the kitchen than actually preparing food
So when, in the middle of a rush, the mayo gun Steve was using gets jammed and (despite his very skillful efforts to fix it) explodes all over him, Chris has a lot to say,
“Oh my god-” He turned to where his buddy was standing there, stunned, “Steve. Is this your man-aise?”
The customers could hear their laughter from the kitchen.
And speaking of Steve, Chris came up with a few tricks of his own to pull when he’s on register duty
Like walking out with two burgers stuffed in the top of his apron like boobs,
“Can I take anybody’s order?” He looked around the restaurant like nothing was amiss as he adjusted the twins.
Ryan
“Welcome to Arby’s, where the world’s a better place…” Ryan sighed, reading off the drive thru script for the fiftieth time that day,
“Whaddya want?”
Ryan hates dealing with customers and, in the middle of a rush, went out for a “smoke break”, which really meant he was going to hide in the freezer until his shift was nearly over
“Really, Ry?” Bam raised an eyebrow at the ice crystals in his beard, which only tipped him off that something was amiss because it was June.
Kinda similar to how Steve and Chris have their drive thru routine, him and Bam tag team on food sabotage, only Ryan’s arguably less gross
Like the worst he’s ever done was take a sip out of a guy’s milkshake before he gave it to him.
It isn’t that hard to believe given the fact he introduced the guys to using “God’s Tongs”
(if you don’t know, is a nice way to say picking up food with your hands)
In fact, everyone remembers that one day a customer was complaining to him that their burger arrived without a bun, holding out the bare patty to show him,
“Alright- I gotcha.” Ryan took a few steps back, grabbing a top bun from the back, and he just chucked the thing at the guy!
That top bun landed perfectly on top of that burger.
#jackass#bam margera#johnny knoxville#steve o#ryan dunn#chris pontius#jackass fanfiction#jackass fanfic
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EYE FOR AN EYE
Synopsis: As the new transfer in college you managed to befriend the popular sweet innocent girl everyone deems her to be. But as you uncover her true colors, you decide to put her in her place by going after someone whom she truly cares for, her father.
Warning: SMUT / Angst /. Swear word usage, cheating, Dad!Yuta x Daughters’BFF!Reader. Manipulation, blackmailing, revenge, reader is in college, engagement, mentions of drugging and backstabbing + more.
A/N: I’m back yall! So sorry for the long wait but hope you enjoy, those who have sent requests they will be posted shortly promise!🤍
Pairing: Yuta x fem reader
MARK
NCT AFFAIR SERIES
8:04 A.M
College students scurried off frantically to get to their designated classes. The campus is loud as they conversed with their friends. Some laughing and others tiredly yawning. A few silent with their earbuds plugged in and others running off inside the building. Just arrived, Yuri gets out of her pink corvette. The boys, her friends that were waiting for her are quickly at her side helping her with her heavy books. Asking if she woke up okay, wondering if she ate. What class did she need to get to. All as they bombarded her with questions, her girls came over and waved them off. Demanding to give her space and stop crowding her. All with a smile on her face.
Greeting her group of friends, she makes her way onto campus gracefully. A certain aura vibrates around her, it’s what many get attracted to. Her silky hair flowing freely down her back, her bangs barely covering her eyes as she shows her pearly white teeth each time she smiled. Manicured hands always greeting anyone and everyone even if they were strangers to her. Speaking with a soft tone, never daring to raise her voice as she stands straight. Posture never slouching and always wearing nice, clean attire. A skirt just the right size with a tight shirt that’s covered with a matching blazer to her skirt. Heels the newest edition and jewelry that costs most of the students monthly rent. Nakamoto Yuri was the it girl at the college she attended. Even those in near schools know about her, how could they not? Her family is wealthy, admired and respected. They do so much for the community and their success overseas is what makes the country proud to present such a family in their island. It wouldn’t be a surprise if all of Japan knew who she was. Her father is printed on every magazine cover, news outline. Yearly, a family photo is captured and there presents Yuri with a gracious smile. Glowing in her beauty and wealth.
Truly, she was the purity this world needed more of. If what she gave, really was purity.
Heels can be heard clicking on the ground, steady steps that get closer to her. The friend group was still rowdy. Consisting of seven if you include her. Three of them are her boy best friends. Aro, shaggy light brown hair. The tallest of the three but also the scrawniest. Known for his bubbly persona and optimism he’s spoken as the man of hope. Always ready to be your right ear to lend if needed, and has no problem giving you as much needed help. He shows his love through acts of service and although he tends to be anxious at times, he tries his best to get out of his shell if it means it’ll help others do so to. Riku, bright white hair, strands of his hair covers his eyes which results him in blowing it away from poking his eyes. Slight freckles near his nose and the second tallest. He has a bit of muscles, he tends to hit the gym but mostly it’s to work on his arms. It’s not a lot, but enough to still woo the ladies. He’s the chick magnet out of the three. His smile captivates any woman but unfortunately to him, never did it captivate Yuri. For the most part he was the class clown in all of his years in school and college is no different.
He can joke for days but can’t speak his emotions to save his life. A few small tattoos can be seen starting from his neck down to his chest. Lastly, Sota. The youngest and shortest of the three. Only slightly taller than Yuri and has jet black hair. A few slight curls but for the most part, wavy. A mole sitting on his right cheekbone. A slit on one of his eyebrows and a single earring dangling. Tattooed on his left arm but it’s still to be completed in a full sleeve. Despite being the shortest he’s the strongest. He has more muscles than Riku. He’s, the gym rat but he’s the sweetest, most caring person. Even though as the youngest he’s teased the most, he still makes any decision like a ‘gentleman’. The three of them are the rambunctious trio any one has ever known. And even though they manage to lose themselves in their own little world, they were the ones who noticed the new presence nearing. Their smiles faltered as well as their laughs, the girls grow confused and follow their sight.
Standing behind them, a new face presents themselves to the group. They couldn’t deny it, her natural beauty was jaw dropping. You were a natural beauty. You wore nothing but lipstick and eyeliner because your bare face looked as if it already had makeup applied on. Your hair as healthy as it can ever be, skin glowing and smooth. Your hands tender like it never had to lift a single thing. You weren’t wearing anything fancy, no Balenciaga, no Chanel nor Saint Laurent. And yet with the mostly black and white outfit you had on managed to reveal your most favorable aspects. The boys gulped at the sight of you, they wondered who you were. How is it that they never heard of you, were you new? A transfer?
“Hello, the name’s y/n.” You smile politely. Before any of the girls can say anything, the boys are quick to introduce themselves. “Hello! I’m Sota-“ “I’m Riku-“.“Aro!” Giggling, you tilt your head at them and give ‘em a once over. They weren’t bad to look at, but their high energy already seemed like it’d be draining. At least for you. Being pushed to the side, a girl with shorter black hair extends her hand out. She’s the smallest out of the group. “I’m sorry about them, I’m Ai.” She smiles warmly at you. Accepting her hand you shake it. “Are you a transfer?” Nodding, you hum and show them the portfolio the school had given you the day prior. “Do you need help finding your class?” Riku asks you. “I Can show you if you want.” Sota adds. “Boys.” The girl to Ai’s left hisses at them. “Please ignore them, I’m Emi.” She goes to shake your hand. “No worries, I get that a lot.” You chuckle. You notice a look on Emi’s face but it doesn’t falter the smile on her face.
Emi would be considered the ‘bigger’ of the group. According to Japanese standards she wasn’t thin even though she weighs 140 lbs for someone in her twenties. Her hair was spread in two buns. Curtain bangs and makeup nicely done that did a nice job showing her cute nose. She wore baggier clothes, self conscious with her appearance, she prefers to wear oversized shirts than crop tops. Baggy pants than tight jeans or short skirts. Sneakers than heels. But her style still holds some sort of familiarity. And when you see her stand next to Yuri, the last girl yet to greet you. It clicked. The colors, the jewelry, the manicured hands and makeup. The clothes even look alike it’s just one is tighter, shorter and the other is bigger, baggier. Then you notice Ai, and see she too wears a familiar style to Yuri’s. It was obvious they looked up to her. Her influence was apparent in them.
“Hi hun! I’m Yuri. You might already have heard of me.” She giggles, a large smile on her face as she goes for a hug. Different than what her friends did. “Yeah, you’re famous.” Waving her hand at you she chuckles. “Not really. I mean I appear in a magazine every now and then and in an interview-“ “So how old are you y/n?” Riku asks you. Yuri is shocked for a moment but is quick to cover it. She watched Riku stick to your side as he awaits for you answer. A grin on his face as he listens to you intently. Just as he normally would with her. Riku’s never been this intent in knowing about a girl ever since he’s met Yuri. If anything, all his focus was mainly on Yuri when it came to any girl. And yet, you haven’t been here for a good five minutes and you captured his undivided attention. And not just that, Sota and Aro’s. They too shifted closer to you, paying close attention as they too had questions of their own to ask you.
Yuri isn’t going to lie, you’re beautiful. Gorgeous really. Your eyes bright like stars, as soft as those of a doe and smile that can brighten any gloomy day. Your giggle can be confused with those of symphonies and it’s what has her intrigued as to who you are. Wedging herself between you and the Riku who already had his arm around you. She walks you inside, “Come on, I’ll walk you inside. And you can tell me all about yourself.”
Ai, you come to find out is a bundle of joy. Apparently her and Sato are the youngest and have eyes for each other but haven’t done anything to make it official. She has a love for makeup, clothes and is actually studying to becoming a designer. Her father helped her get an internship at Calvin Klein where she’ll be a co-designer for those modeling in vogue magazine. She’s also the emotional one, like a golden retriever she holds a lot of love and gets attached easily. A bit oblivious and ditzy but she has good intentions. Emi is more level headed and a bit hard going. Like the mother of the group, she’s the common sense not many of them have. She speaks her mind and is very protective of her friends. Loyal to an extent and has had the biggest crush on Riku but it was only mutual given Riku has always had the hots for Yuri despite her never returning the feelings.
Yuri. She’s what they say the voice of reason. Apparently she helps band the group back together if there’s ever an imbalance. Soft spoken and patient she is able to see both side of the same picture. Aro and her have more chemistry. Unlike Riku, Yuri likes Aro. But much like Ai and Sato, haven’t done anything. There’s no real reason as to why, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to make things difficult between the rest. Afraid to commit, or to cause conflict. Whatever it is, she keeps him at arms length.
They were quick to accept you into their clique. And it only took a matter of time before word got out about you and by the end of the day, you were practically a famous celebrity. Many glanced and whispered. Awes and oohs as they admired your beauty from a distance. Crushes already made on you, and then the chattering happened. “She’s as beautiful as Yuri, maybe even more.” One whispers. “It seems like Yuri has competition.” Another says. “She’s going to be the new popular girl trust.” And it kept going. You pretended to not hear. You feign ignorance just like the presence of Aro coming up behind you. “Y/n wait up!” Turning your head to see him send you a smile he chuckles awkwardly. “You going home?” “Actually I was thinking of getting a coffee. Wanna come?”
“Yeah!” Embarrassed by the quick response, he blushed and looked away. Giggling, you pat his bicep. Typical go to move and it works every time as just expected, he leans closer. “So where did you move from?” “Kyoto.” “Oh really? My parents live there.” “That’s cool, I’ve lived there my whole life but I decided I needed to start fresh and moved here.” “Well you did good choosing Tokyo. Very lively here, and lots more opportunities.” Nodding, the two of you are just about to enter the parking lot when you hear Yuri call out. “Where are you two headed?” Walking closer with the rest, she stares at the proximity between the two of you. Practically touching shoulders. “To go get coffee wanna come?” You tell her with a smile. “I do!” Ai says and Sato waste no time joining her to walk over to the two of you. “I can go for a latte.” Emi speaks. “I really want to try some of the refreshers.” Riku adds. Soon after, the eight of you were heading to the nearest cafe. Aro would admit, he was a bit bummed that it wouldn’t be the two of you. But when Yuri comes up beside him and looks up at him with a smile. He feels slightly guilty to think about not wanting her to join you two.
There wasn’t much dirt about Yuri. Since the first grade she has won countless awards for good sportsmanship, skills and behavior. She has won medals for all sorts of clubs she’s joined and was practically the smartest person. An ace overall. But it’s that, that causes suspicion. No one is ever that perfect. Surely there has to be a flaw she has, and much like everyone you were ready to accept that she was in fact perfect until you saw the clip. An unedited clip of the family preparing for an important dinner with the president. As Yuri’s mother spoke of what was being prepared, in the background was a maid. Hands together and head staring at the ground. Apologizing profoundly as Yuri scowled at her, cursing at her for spilling all over her now stained dress. The clip was cut out almost immediately after it was posted. Completely wiped off the internet and no matter how hard you try to find it, it’s completely gone. But you saw it. Maybe one of the few who saw it. And you would make sure to reveal Nakamoto Yuri’s true colors.
The famous ball the Nakamoto family would be hosting was just around the corner. It’s all anyone was talking about. Their large mansion will be absolutely packed in a short few weeks, the richest most respected people will be attending. Friends, family, acquaintances and more. And now officially part of their clique, they dragged you to go dress shopping. “How about this one?” You hear Emi ask to no one in particular. Lifting the dress up to the mirror in front of you, you watch as Yuri looks over the dress with a slight distasteful look. A tiny smile as she tells her it makes her look huge. “Maybe wear something less short and puffy.” She pats her shoulder before walking off to change into her selection of dresses. You notice the slight frown on Emi’s face, looking over and seeing an emerald green dress that goes down to the floor, an off the shoulders and slight sparkles towards the bottom of the dress. An underskirt with it. “Here wear this.” Motioning for her to enter the stall, Yuri and Ai come out wearing the dress of their preference. “You look pretty in them.” You compliment them. Grinning they twirl and ogle at each other’s dress. When the door opens, the three of you turn and find Emi nervously fidgeting with her fingers. “You look so gorgeous!” Ai squeals. Yuri who hadn’t said anything just watches Emi chuckle and look at herself in the mirror. “The dress does look nice.” Turning to face you, she smiles appreciatively. “Thank you y/n.” Yuri looks at your hands connected and forces a smile. “Emi you look lovely. You should buy it, maybe after this we can even do your hair. Maybe cut the bangs and some of the dead ends.”
“No need to cut the bangs.” You interject. Turning to face you, Yuri stares as you brushed Emi’s bangs to the side. “Maybe part them a bit but they definitely define your face shape well. Maybe even the ends and if you want do some touch ups on the balayage.” Emi nods excitedly in which you respond with a grin. “What about you y/n?” Ai asks. “Have you picked out a dress yet?” “Mmm.” Looking through the rack of dresses, you look at the many different colors and styles. But none gain your attention. “I suggest this one!” Yuri says and hands you a bright orange one. “Ew! Yuri orange is never a good color.” Ai wrinkles her nose. “But y/n you’re beautiful I wouldn’t be surprised if you could pull of that color.” Shrugging, you walk over to the orange dresses. “I’ll try this one.” While you go in to change, the boys had just gotten back from buying their tuxedos. Their loudness can be heard as they converse with the girls. Yuri quick to stand next to Aro where they begin their own little conversation. “How dress shopping go?” Aro asks her. “Good, I found my dress.” She shows him her blue gown. “I’m sure it’ll look great on-“
“Woah! Y/n you look fantastic!” Riku exclaims. Heads turning to see you walking out of the fitting room, the orange dress flowed freely down your waist. It wasn’t a bright orange, the kind that’ll give you a migraine. It was a sunset looking orange but the white layer underneath gave it a certain pop. Like Emi’s there were a few sparkles at the bottom and there were cleavage around the chest area. Only the top of your shoulders would be covered with a puffy silk material around it, the top looked one of a corset. The silk of the dress flowed beautifully that with every step you took looked graceful. “Wow.” Aro breathes out before taking a step forward. “You look…wow.” Giggling, you send him a shy smile that he returns. “Okay love birds, we better get going!” Ai squeals, none noticing the frown on Yuri’s face. Well none except you. Going back in to change, Aro waits for you and joins you to the counter. “I got this.” He pays for your dress, a shock to everyone especially Yuri. “You shouldn’t have.” He shrugs and hangs you the bag. “Wanted to.”
By the time the ball came, it was flooded with people. Many you didn’t know, but your beauty was ethereal everyone’s eyes was on you the second you entered. Ai squealing and shaking your arm, excited for you. Happy you’re getting all the compliments and jaw drops. Every year Yuri is the talk of the night. Paparazzi and news reporters all come together to see what Yuri would be wearing for the ball. Every year there would be debates on what she’ll wear and how she’ll outdo the previous year. Something Yuri always looks forward to. But this year, no one barely batted an eye at her. All of it was on you. Since you stepped foot out of the limousine, the cameras were pointed at you. Everyone dying to know your name, to figure out your name. Even the host of the night, and of the entire ball. Nakamoto Yuta.
The longer you stuck around, Yuri has started to feel neglected. You were the talk of the week, your face on every news outlet. And at school, people crowded you and not Yuri. People would bump into her and give her a quick apology before their attention went back to you. She felt like the black sheep, a shadow and for once, the side character. The smile she practically always had plastered on her face has started to decay little by little as you were the center of attention. Professors adored you, the Dean favored you and any person who came across you couldn’t help but want to befriend you. Truly, she had no idea how everything began to slip through her fingers so quickly. Yuri no longer sat in the middle when the group would go out to eat. No, you were. Everyone’s attention was no longer on Yuri, but on you. Every decision they’d confirm it with you, any opinion they made, they sought out your approval. And the bitterness little by little was beginning to bubble up inside the Nakamoto girl.
“Y/nie Can you please help me pick out an outfit. Sota has finally asked me out!” Ai claps her hands excitedly. Currently in the cafeteria where the boys were off getting snacks the girls sat at their designated table. With Emi and Yuri both at your side, they watch as the smallest one comes skipping. “Oh I can help you Ai.” Yuri speaks up, a soft tone in her voice as she turns to you. “I’m sure y/nie is very busy.” “Nope! Not at all!” You grin. Squealing, Ai comes up from behind you and gives you a big hug. “Thank you! Ugh we’re going to have so much fun on our dates.” “Our?” Yuri asks. Nodding, Ai pats your shoulders. “Yep! Our little y/n here was asked out on a date. By none other than…” giggling, she turns to look over at the three boys who were making their way over.
Emi gasps and widens her eyes. “No way!” The boys raise a brow and silent ask what was going on. “Aro did you ask y/n out on a date?!” The boys erupt in cheers as they look over to him and see he’s begun to blush. The group teases the two of you, Emi stands and grabs Aro’s hand to sit him next to you. “Y/n and Aro sitting in a tree, k-i -s-s-i-n-g!” As they celebrated the growing connection between the two of you, Yuri scowled. Glaring at you, she felt anger. She practically cursed you out in her head and wished to simply push you off a cliff for taking Aro away from him. It wasn’t until she notices a passerby had taken a notice of her scowl that she quickly changes it and beams. “Well I’m happy for you two.” She gains everyone’s attention, setting a hand on top of yours as she holds eye contact with you. “Thank you Yuri.” You give back the same plastic smile.
As you suspected, Yuri had slowly began to lose her patience. Her backhanded compliments continued and became more common. From your education, to your looks and your personality. The constant wedging between you and Aro to put as much distance. And the faking in order to gain the all the lost attention back on her. “Ow!” She falls clutching her ankle. “Yuri you okay??” They ask her but she only cries, wailing she can’t walk. “Please Aro help me up.” And he does. You stand back, arms crossed and a smirk on your face as you notice how she continues to cry out in ‘pain’. “How did you hurt yourself?” “I slipped on y/n’s purse.” She pouts. “Oh no, y/n why would you leave your purse on the ground?” Emi asked you. Shrugging, you change your facial expression to one of guilt. Playing with your hair you look down at the ground. “Yuri had taken up all the table with her makeup, i just didn’t want to bother her making space for my purse. I’m sorry.” “Well she does make a good point Yuri.” Riku says. “Yeah next time make sure there’s a spot for her stuff so you won’t fall again.” Sota adds. Watching as they lead her into the living room, you notice her jaw clenched and hardened eyes as she continues to fake her limp.
Things changed drastically the day Yuri insisted to throw a sleep over at her house. It was meant to be a small get together, a few drinks and play some truth or dare. Aro had excused himself to go get some water and you noticed only a few seconds later Yuri stood up to use to bathroom. It’s been exactly a month since you befriended them and a week of becoming official with Aro. Taking a sip of your beer, you stand up and excuse yourself. Taking slow, steady steps. You hide behind the corner that leads into the kitchen, and lord and behold. Was none other than Aro and Yuri. His eyes were widen as he’s pressed up against the counter, Yuri pressing her lips up against his and a few seconds later he reciprocates. Taking your phone out, you record the entire thing. Their kiss turns heated, Aro turns them around and sets you on the counter. When you felt like you had enough video footage. You take a step back and walk away not before causing noise that gets them to stop and freeze. “Do you think anyone saw us?” Aro says worriedly. “No, but don’t worry. It’ll be our little secret.”
Entering back into her bedroom where the rest awaited. You watch as she tries to fix herself, wiping her lips that were stained red. Patting down her hair and laboring her breathing. Her eyes meet yours momentarily, she pauses before looking down nervously. Taking a seat next to Ai who rushes her to choose truth or dare. After a while the group got tired and decided to settle down and watch a movie. Aro came to cuddle you in which you let him but when it was half way through the film and everyone fell asleep you slipped out of his embrace and walked out. The house was empty, the employees had already left and from what you were told Yuri’s parents were out of town for a business trip. Luckily as the only child she was able to have the entire mansion to herself. Fixing yourself a cold glass of water, you turn around abruptly when you hear a sudden noise. Standing there, in a black suit, hair slicked back and a suit case was none other than Nakamoto Yuta. The very man you’ve heard of for years and now here he is before you, in the flesh. A fixed smirk on your face as you set the glass down. “Well look what we have here, Nakamoto Yuta.” Raising a brow, he sets the suitcase down and takes a step closer. “Do I know you?” “No, but I know you remember me.” You were right, he did. The day at the ball where he stood at the top of the stairs speaking with his business partners he noticed the sunset orange dress. Your beauty immediately captivated him but unfortunately he wasn’t given much time to get to know you. He tried searching for you, to figure out who you were but it seemed like you didn’t exist on the internet. Untraceable, only images the reporters took of you the night of the ball.
Stepping closer to him, you extend your arm out. “The names y/n y/l/n. The beaut you couldn’t keep your eyes off of.” Feeling the ends of his lip curl, he nods and accepts your hand. But he doesn’t shake it, instead he brings it up to his lips where he presses a soft gentle kiss while remaining eye contact with you. “Well greetings y/n, may I ask what brings you here?” Shrugging your shoulders, you come face to face. Wrapping your arms around his neck which causes him to lean down to accommodate you. “You.” Leaning in, you press a chaste kiss to his lips and he doesn’t hesitate in returning the energy. Getting a hold of your waist he pulls you in. Pressing you to feel his growing bulge. “Already hard?” Growling, he tugs at your hair and pulls you down on your knees. “You got an attitude alright, but it’s okay I’ll fuck it out of you.” Unbuckling his pants you pull em down and free his constricted cock. Pressing a soft kiss to his angry red tip. His veins prominent, you let your tongue hang and lick a long stripe up from his base. You hear him let out a loud hiss, his slicked back hair has begun to unstick. Small strands of his hair falling on his forehead as he looks down at you. His hand making a shift ponytail with your hair as he gets you to take more of him.
“No teasing and suck, pretty girl.” Feeling yourself get aroused by the nickname, you obey and deep throat him. Pulling him out and spitting on him, you jerk off before taking him back in your mouth. The kitchen wall bounces off the loud gags and gurgles you make with every inch you take him in. Heavy breathing and low deep grunts Yuta let’s out. After a stressful business meeting and a blow out with his wife he decided to head home days early and now here he is, standing in his kitchen getting sucked by the chick he hasn’t been able to get out of his head since the ball. He doesn’t regret the decision. “Swallow every drop princess.” He grunts as he begins to thrust powerfully in your mouth. Your nails digging into his thighs as you feel him explode hot cum in the back of your throat. Staring up at him with innocent looking eyes, gulping every drop and pulling away with a pop. You show him your tongue to prove to him you listened to him. A chesire grin on his face as he helps you stand. “Turn around.” Leaning over the counter, he lifts your leg to rest on the stool. Dropping your pijama bottoms on the floor, you gasp when his tip prods at your tight hole, shutting your eyes and leaning your forehead on the cold marble surface. His ring covered fingers coming to grip your arms and place them behind your back. Using it as leverage to fuck you harder.
His thrusts were fast but steady, he was using you to burn off steam you can tell. His face concentrated and with every smack he left on your cheek it got louder and became more painful. You chuckle as he wraps his hand around your throat and gets you to stand. Your back pressed against his chest, “Careful daddy, get too reckless and you might just wake up Yuri.” Something in him was set off at the mention of his daughter. Pulling out and turning you to face him, he lifts you up. Quick to wrap your legs around him, he wastes no time in pounding into you again. “Don’t mention her again.” “But why? She is a good friend of mine. Wonder what she’ll think if she saw you fucking her friend.” Gripping your throat he presses you up against the wall and uses his other hand to rub harsh circles on your clit. Jaw slacking, you start to mewl by the over sensitivity. “Fucking brat.” He hisses, his relent never seizing. Your gummy walls grip him so tight he finds it hard to keep thrusting. Trying to muffle the grunts that are begging to come out. But he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to give you the satisfaction that you’re making him feel immense pleasure. That he hasn’t had a good fuck in a while and you’re making him go insane.
But you can see through him. Cupping his face, he glares at you. Too intimidate, he should be putting you in your place. To shut you up but instead he’s becoming obsessed with you. “Admit you need me. Say it and I’m yours.” Shaking his head he grips your hands and keeps them over your head. Looking down and seeing the connection between your soaked pussy and his slick covered dick. Spitting at your entrance he watches how well you take it all in. “Don’t fucking, ngh! - need you!” Shutting his eyes, his thrusting stutters as he shivers at the pleasure. He’s close, he can feel it but he refuses to climax. “Look at you baby, you’re becoming putty for me.” “Shut up!” Moaning out loud, he covers your mouth and continues to hit your g-spot. He doesn’t stop until your walls are constricting around him. Until he feels you come all over his cock, then does he set you down on your feet and walk off.
Catching your breath, you huff and roll your eyes. Pulling up your bottoms, you take a sip of your water and wonder back to the bedroom. Aro shifts in his spot but once he feels your presence he comes closer to cuddle you. He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder before muttering a tired goodnight. Ignorant to the fact that you had Yuta’s juices running down your legs.
Yuri was becoming more and more careless. She thinks she finally began to regain her power. The attention would finally be hers again. Days went on and she and Aro have secretly been seeing each other. But you know. You see everything and as you continue to get popular, you are being told more about things no matter how much google searching would be able to give you. “Me and Aro need to go study for our upcoming finals, bye guys!” Yuri excuses them. “Bye baby!” You smile at him, leaning in to press his lips on yours, you see Yuri looking upset from the corner of your eyes. Just as Aro goes to pull away you notice the red hickey on his neck. “Burn yourself babe?” You ask as you press on the dark mark. Gaining the attention of others. Yuri’s eye’s widen momentarily, an awkward chuckle falls from the boy’s mouth before covering it with his hand. “Yeah, my coworker got me during one of my shifts.” Nodding, you wave them goodbye. And once they were gone, you excused yourself. “But you’re so fun please don’t leave!” They try to convince you to stay but you give them a sad smile and wave them goodbye.
“You got the files?” You ask the Dean once you enter the office. They nod and hand you a beige looking file with a name on top. Yuri Nakamoto. “Acceptance, SATs, and any other record we have of her is on there.” “I don’t see any acceptance letter.” “She never got one.” Raising a brow, you look up at them. “Why?” Shrugging their shoulders, you nod and thank them. Walking out of campus you get in your car. Shoving the file into your glove compartment, the door to the passenger seat opens and in enters the very man who fucked you in his kitchen nights ago. “Well, well well.” You say with a smug look. He doesn’t say a thing only leans in and kisses you hungrily. Moaning, you allow him to shove his tongue down your throat. And when he pulls you away roughly you bite your lip. “Knew you needed me.” “Drive.” “Where to daddy?” Glaring, he goes to buckle himself. “Your place.”
The keys to your apartment is tossed to the ground the second the door gets opened. Slamming the door shut as Yuta picks you up and slams you up against it. Removing you of your jacket, crop top and bra. He’s impatient and doesn’t waste time sucking your perky tits. You run your hands through his soft hair, you can’t help but feel content. Your heart beats rapidly and your heat throbs, yearns for him. “Missed me?” You hum. You didn’t expect him to answer but when his dazed looking eyes move to look up at you, capturing your chin to pull you in for a soft kiss you knew the answer to your question.
For the rest of the day, it was spent indulging in the man’s needs. You let him fuck you up against the door, you let him press you against the cold glass window. A perfect view of you and him, any one even paparazzi would be able to see but Yuta didn’t care. He spread you across the kitchen table as he ate you out. Didn’t stop until you squirted for him, until your cried for him. Until you begged him to stop. In the shower, he bent you over where he used the shower head to overstimulate you, and on the bed where he took you doggy style until he made you come into subspace. Even when you woke up, you woke up to him settled between your legs and mouth already attached to your breasts. The man was a beast and no amount of experience would help you prepare yourself. When he wore himself out, you straddled him. Running a hand through his sweaty hair, completely fucked out and passed out on your bed. You took this as an opportunity to take pictures of him, the scratch marks apparent on his chest. Love marks displayed on both his and your skin. Like a piece of art work created by Davinci himself, you toss the phone aside and lean down to pepper his face with soft gentle kisses. “Mine.” You mumble, admiring the beautiful man sleeping below you. His soft cock still snuggled deep inside you. “All mine.” You lay one last kiss on his lips.
Yuta has fallen under your spell almost immediately. His mind filled with the thought of you. He can’t concentrate any more, his business partners have to call out his name multiple times during meetings. Interviewers can barely get a decent response from him and his work ethic has been slacking off. His wife and daughter don’t make it any better given how much they nag him. They are never content with what they have, they want more. Need more, and it seems like they are one for the other. Yuri’s mother defends her wrongful actions, Yuri sees no problem with the ignorant thinking her mother has. The Nakamoto women have grown to be selfish, greedy, classist monsters. And slowly by the years, they began to suck the life out of Yuta. But you were different. You gave him oxygen, the life he thought has lost all these years. He feels like a man who had just been reborn and he finds it hard to ever come to let you go. And even though it’s wrong, to cheat on his wife. To put his family on the line, he can’t stop himself. Doesn’t he have the right to be selfish at least once as well?
So what if he masturbates to the thought of you in the shower? Or sends you nude pictures of himself to you? Or has sex with you in secrecy? To open his heart to you, to wish to live a different life where it’s just the two of you. Is it really so bad to say he’s fallen in love with you?
“Divorce her.” You tell him one afternoon. In his office, door locked and a strict order to not bother him at all. His shirt undone along with his tie on the floor. His black work pants slightly lowered enough to reveal his long veiny dick. With you on his lap wearing the shortest, skimpiest checkered skirt and a top that only covers your breasts. A finger curled to take a hold of your Diamond necklace, specifically the one he gifted to you. Leaning in to press a kiss on your boobs, he hums and squeezes your ass. “Is that what you want?” Cupping his face you make look you in the eyes. “With all my heart. I want to love you like you deserve, give you the life you lost. It’s not too late to give yourself a fresh start.” “What about Yuri-“. “She’ll have to deal with it.” You tell him sternly. He’s confused by the tone, it’s almost like you’re sure of something he’s not in the know but he doesn’t push it. “Your wife,” kissing his cheek. “Doesn’t know what love is.” You kiss his jaw, “doesn’t know how to love you,” he closes his eyes and relishes in the gentle kisses you leave on his face. “Doesn’t know how to cherish you.” Lastly, kissing his lips he gets a hold of the back of your head and pulls you closer making sure you can’t pull away faster than he wants to.
Groaning when you clench around his girth, he moves you to grind on him. His heavy breathing coming back when he lets you pull away. Biting your bottom lip softly as he looks up at you. “Your family has taken advantage of you left and right, but me…” grabbing his hand and lowering it to your cunt you hear him groan. The lust coming back in his eyes. “I know how to satisfy you. How to make you happy, make you feel loved…marry me and I’ll give you the world.” Whining when he begins to rub fast circles on your clit you look into his eyes. He smiles and kisses your temple. “And I’ll give you the stars pretty girl.”
The news of the filing of divorce between the Nakamoto’s hit ever news channel possible. It’s all anyone can talk about. It was sudden, unexpected and no one can understand how that happened. It seemed like the couple were happy. If anything they were admired for being such a happy loving family. And it didn’t take long for the rumors to start that maybe there was a mistress. That one of them wasn’t faithful, or maybe abusive. The people of Japan were demanding for answers and before she can prepare herself, Yuri was being bombarded with them every time she took a step out of the comfort of her home. At school she can barely walk by without being crowded. Ironic how much she’s grown to hate the crowding given it’s all she’s ever wanted. “Yuri did your mother cheat?” One yells. “Is your father abusive?” Another says. “Guys give her space!” Emi and Ai shouts as the boys try to put distance. Yuri only covers her ears as she rushes by with tears in her eyes. She felt humiliated, never did she think everyone’s eyes would be on her with looks of judgment and pity. Since when did everyone care what goes on in her family’s lives? What is it to them?
And as she enters the bathroom about ready to break down, she’s met with a few girls already there, reapplying their makeup. Snickering and smirking once they get a look of her. “How pathetic.” They scoff before shoving their shoulders against hers. Falling on the ground, she breaks down into loud sobs. She cursed her parents for separating. How could they do this to her? To embarrass her to this extent, how selfish could they get? Did they not care how much this would affect her? The door to the bathroom opens abruptly and in enters Aro. Concerned looks as he asks if she was okay. “Oh Aro!” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she seeks his comfort. So much they don’t notice a lurker just right outside the bathroom listening to them. What was suppose to be a reassuring hug turns into sex, a camera was snuck in and capturing the entire thing. “Oh you poor thing.” You tsk once you end the recording and walk off.
Yuri refused to speak to her father. After her mother told her that he was the one who demanded the divorce, she had a growing hatred for him. It wasn’t fair, her mother had no where to go. All the money she made she blew it up on luxuries and what’s left isn’t enough to satisfy her. She wanted a large mansion not an apartment. She wanted a driver not a personal car where she’d drive herself. But her budget didn’t cut it. All business she had was cut given she made contracts with them through her ex husband. More people began to believe the rumors that she cheated. No one wanted her face to be connected with their company in worry it’ll tarnish their reputation. She had approximately a week to move out before she was forced out. Luckily Yuta never wrote a prenup, seemed like the only good decision he made all those years ago.
Stressed with everything going on, he needed you more than anything. For a few classes you were absent because you refused to leave his side. And despite Aro and the others asking about your whereabouts you only gave them short responses and nothing more. “You did good baby.” You comfort your fiancé. The large Diamond engagement ring fits perfectly on you. The twinkle shines brightly, Yuta sends you a fond smile and takes a hold of your hand. Pressing a kiss to the ring, he pulls you for a hug. “I love you.” He murmurs in your chest. “And I love you.” And you do, which is why you went through great lengths to make sure everything came out in your favor. Laying him down on your bed, you undress him. Unbuckling his pants as you take his dick in your mouth. Your soft hand coming to fist what you can’t get in your mouth, the bright Diamond glimmering in the sunlight that enters your room. Yuta’s head is thrown back as he focuses on the pure bliss he’s receiving, letting his grunts fall out freely with each lick and suck you give him. Climbing on top of him and taking all of his inches, rolling your eyes back when he manages to hit deep inside you. Bouncing on his cock until you’re going stupid on him, his hand coming to brush your hair out of your face. Cooing at you as you try your hardest to not enter cloud nine but he’s addicting. You want more of him, you can never have enough of him. Which is why you beg him to take you, fuck you like he hates you and he does. He fills you with his white warm semen over and over again until your bloated with his babies. Falling asleep only to wake up and do it all over again.
The day Yuta brought you to his mansion, the housekeepers bringing in your luggages. Yuri couldn’t believe her eyes. “How could you?!” She shrieks, disgusted in seeing you hold hands with her father. “How could you do this to me? To Aro?” Snickering, you shake your head and pull Yuta’s head to kiss him. You felt proud to see her face turn red as she practically shakes in anger. Her hands balled into fists at her sides as she glares daggers into your head. “I want to talk to Yuri alone, please babe?” Nodding, he presses one last kiss to your temple before signaling the housekeepers to follow him upstairs. Going to comfort his daughter, he’s disappointed to see her distance herself from him and give him a look of disgust. Once he was out of hearing range, you couldn’t help but laugh. “You bitch!” She seethes at you. “Never did I think you’d stoop so low. Guess you were the mistress my father has been seeing, should’ve known you were here with no good intentions.”
“Me? With no good intentions.” Chuckling, you take cautious steps around you. Your heels are heard hitting the tiled floor with each step taken. “Yuri, you know better than to be hypocritical.” You grin. Furrowing her brow, she continued to glare at you. “What are you talking about?” Chuckling, you clap your hands and shake your head. “Seriously, did you think I wasn’t made aware of whats been going on between you and Aro?” Her face drops to one of horror. “The sleep over, making out in the kitchen where anyone can see?” Shrugging you pick at your nails. “Eh but its okay, your father and I fucked about an hour after you fell asleep on the same exact spot you backstabbed me.” About to defend her honor, you cut her off.
“I wonder what Emi will think when she finds out the reason she’s feeling insecure is because you have been convincing guys to not approach her. Saying she’s, ‘emotionally unstable’ or how about she’s currently fighting off an, ‘STD’ Mhm?” “Lies!” “Really? So if I were to ask half the boys at school they would all say I made it up? How stupid of them to think you were doing it for Emi’s benefit. That you were ‘looking out for her’.” Laughing you shake your head and walk closer to her. “What about Ai?” “I did nothing.”
Tsking, you sigh. “Another lie.” Taking out your phone, you find the photo in your gallery and show it to her. It’s satisfying to see the color drain from her face. “Just the day after Sota asked her out did you just have to swoop in and steal her thunder. Seriously though? Did you really have to kiss him? Fifteen minutes after making it official?” Clear as day did the photo show Yuri and Sota kissing. The rest of the group just the room next to them. “How did you…” “Remember Yuri, I see everything. You’re not the sweet innocent girl you make yourself out to be. No, you’re arrogant, egotistical and greedy. Can never be happy for others, everything has to be about you. You need to have the most awards, medals, achievements, to be in the best clubs and go into a college with an acceptance rate of 3%.”
Frozen in her spot, she swallows when she sees you take out a file from behind your back. “Funny how there’s no record of being accepted to…anything really. And yet, what I did find were receipts. With large quantities of money. So tell me Yuri, how much did mommy have to pay in order to get you in without Yuta finding out? $1,000? $10,000?” Pushing you away she denies it all. “I got in all by myself!” “Really?!” You mock shock. “Because Ritsu told me, you sucked him off in order to enter the debate team and was paid to keep quiet?” Drawing her hand back, a loud smack is heard resonating throughout the large house. “Y/n!” You hear Yuta call out for you, climbing down the stairs he sees the red mark beginning to form on your face. “What the hell is wrong with you Yuri?!” Tears had formed in her eye sockets, some running down her face as she feels exposed. “I hate you!” She screams at you, “YURI!” His voice booms off the walls.
“You don’t know the kind of woman she is daddy! She’s only using you!” “That’s not true!” You say as you cradle your face. Standing next to him, you hold his arm and cuddle into his side. “I love you Yuta.” You soften your eyes at him, “But she won’t let us be happy.” You get your eyes to water. “She won’t accept that I love you and you love me!” “Don’t listen to her! -“ “That’s enough Yuri! I’ve had it with you! I wasted all these years trying to give you the life you deserve and you threw that all away with your greed. It’s my time to be happy and if you don’t like it, you can always move out and go live with your mother.” Shutting up, she glares at the scene in front of her. Her father inspecting your face gently as he presses a soft kiss to your face. “Ill get you some ice.” Once he left, you turned to look at her with the same satisfied smirk.
“You can try your best to separate us. But just remember, I can easily make your life a living hell. You wouldn’t want the world to find out just how evil you are right? Drugging Riku’s drink to have sex with you, manipulating Aro into thinking he’s only ever good enough being with you. Blackmailing the hundreds of people to keep shut, doing your dirty work and deleting any video footage that captures the real you. In a second, I can end you. So do us a favor, and stay the hell out of my business with your father.” Taking one step closer to her, her tears much more noticeable you lean down to stoop to her level.
“Because I’m going to love your father whether you like it or not, and he’s going to love me just as much.” Hearing him call out to you, you give her a wink and walk off into the direction of the kitchen.
And as you walk in and find the man you love holding an ice pack, you let him gently press it on your face. Sensing her eyes watching the two of you, you move his hand out the way and pull him down by his shirt. Pulling him into a heated make out right in front of his daughter without him knowing. And as much as Yuri hates her life at the moment, she will soon come to despise it even more when you decide to expose her crimes nonetheless.
#nct x reader#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct smut#nct reactions#nct 127#nct yuta#yuta nakamoto smut#yuta imagines#yuta x reader#yuta smut#nct johnny#mark nct#nct haechan#nct taeyong#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 smut
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Ineffable May 2024, Day 17: Inspector Constable
Rated General Audience
Muriel gently closed the book they'd been balancing on their lap, and ran their hand over the cover. The distressed human faces printed in shades of gray were such a contrast to the bright rainbow lettering used for the title. The angel noticed how stark the white of their trousers looked behind it, and their gaze wandered over to their equally colorless helmet hanging from the hat rack. From this angle, they could just make out the large badge affixed to the front.
There had been little to do once Mr. Fell had left with the Metatron. Even though they'd so desperately wanted to explore this little piece of Earth, Muriel had been reluctant to leave the shop unattended until they received further instructions as to their new role here. So, they set to learning about this world through what was readily available around them: books. This particular one had shed light on a specific interaction they'd had with the coffee shop human just after their arrival.
Get out. Now.
No wonder Nina had been angry when they'd asked her about her love life. Muriel had been so excited to try out their human disguise in service to Heaven. But after reading about the complicated relationship some humans had with the ones they'd been ordered to emulate, they weren't so sure they wanted to continue wearing it.
Muriel thought hard about what to do. They'd been told to adopt the Inspector Constable persona to observe Mr. Fell and his demon friend, but that didn't seem applicable anymore. Maybe they should miracle their Heavenly uniform? That didn't feel quite right, either. They weren't in Heaven anymore.
Instead, they thought about the way the humans of Whickber Street dressed: a riot of textures and patterns and colors. Muriel didn't know how the humans even managed to create all the different combinations, but they wanted to give it a try.
The book made a thunk as the angel hastily deposited it on Mr. Fell's desk. Their shoes clomped up the stairs, and across the upper landing until they reached a door tucked between two bookcases. They'd discovered Mr. Fell's Room for Human Clothes not long after he'd left, but hadn't explored it. Afterall, they wore the same miracled outfit every day. They'd had no need for that sort of thing ... until now.
The door swung inward at their touch, and a pleasantly sharp, floral scent wafted over them. Muriel took a step forward, not even noticing the way their feet sunk into a luxuriously deep carpet. The twinkling crystal chandelier above them was also ignored. Their entire attention was on the seemingly endless collection of artfully organized and displayed garments.
Wooden shelves and cabinets glowed under tastefully hidden lights. Within them were neatly stacked or hung all manner of shirts, trousers, skirts, dresses, jackets, coats, robes, shoes, boots, sandals, and hats. The styles and shapes ranged from simple to extravagant, but the colors all fell within muted creams, grays, or blues.
A few were displayed on life-sized mannequins inside glass-fronted cases. Muriel walked past one with puffed-out short trousers and a white frill around the neck. Another featured a jacket with a line of buttons down the front and lace spilling out from underneath huge cuffs. These looked special somehow, and they thought it best to leave them alone.
Muriel trailed their fingers along the clothing as they walked, admiring how the different fabrics felt to the touch. They wondered if Mr. Fell would mind if they miracled some to look more like the outfits worn by the humans who walked by the bookshop every day. They were considering what they could try in the color orange when they caught movement in the edge of their vision. They spun around, ready to apologize to Mr. Fell for even thinking about making changes to his...
Muriel stopped short when they realized the person they saw was moving along with them. It took a moment to register that they were standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror.
Is this what my corporation looks like? There were no mirrors in Heaven, and they hadn't really paid attention to the transparent reflections they'd made in the various store front windows they'd encountered outside. Muriel twisted around, trying to see their current body from every angle. They decided they liked the look of it, and really wanted to decorate it with something other than white. Muriel turned their back to the mirror, scanning the clothes in their immediate vicinity for something to modify.
Right, they thought to themself. Time to stop being Inspector Constable. Time to start being ... me.
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prompt list
#ineffable may#ineffable may 2024#good omens#good omens fanfic#good omens fanfiction#muriel good omens#inspector constable
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#adroit market research#managed print services#managed print services trends#managed print services size
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#adroit market research#consent management trends#consent management services#consent management size#3d printing ceramics
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17 years after a USAF F-15 crashed due to cracks in the jet’s longeron the same issue appeared on 90 F-16 fighters across the entire service inventory
Cracks in canopy sill longeron appeared on 90 USAF F-16 fighters
The Colorado Air National Guard’s 140th Maintenance Group (MXG) at Buckley Air Force Base recently had two of their own F-16s grounded simultaneously due to cracked canopy sill longerons (CSLs).
As the airframe has aged, it required these airmen to incorporate new and innovative maintenance practices to remain at the forefront of discovering new means of increasing airpower efficiency to ensure the fighter jets remain mission capable and ready to defend the nation 24/7.
US Air Force (USAF) Staff Sgt. Danielle M. Morgan and Tech. Sgt. Taylar M. Reilly, led one of these new practices as they repaired canopy sill longerons. The CSLs run the full length of the cockpit and support the structure between the frame and skin of the aircraft, preventing tension and bending of the fuselage.
“The aircraft is immediately grounded when the canopies crack,” Reilly said to Staff Sgt. Luccario Lovato, 140th Wing Public Affairs, for the article Colorado Air National Guard Maintenance Group creates innovative solution to aging F-16. “A crack can spread, and if both sides break, the whole nose could fall off.”
17 years after a USAF F-15 crashed due to cracks in the jet's longeron the same issue appeared on 90 F-16 fighters across the entire service inventory
A US Air Force (USAF) F-16C Fighting Falcon, 120th Fighter Squadron (FS), 140th Fighter Wing (FW), Colorado Air National Guard (COANG).
Cracks in F-16 canopy sill longeron can become a fleet-wide issue
Canopy sill longeron cracking has already appeared in 90 aircraft across the USAF inventory of F-16s within the past year.
The F-16 can fly at twice the speed of sound, pulling up to 9-G turns (9 times the earth’s gravitational force) to accomplish air-to-air and air-to-ground missions, applying significant strain to an aging aircraft. While structural concerns are not new, structural maintenance is usually done at a depot facility.
“While this isn’t the first time we’ve done this specific task, this is the first time that we’ve had two aircraft with this issue at the same time,” Reilly said.
Reilly also explained that the structural integrity of the longeron is getting worse, and suspects it’ll become a fleet-wide issue.
Noteworthy, according to Alert 5, similar cracking issues plagued the USAF F-15 Eagle fleet in the past. In 2007 an F-15C suffered an in-flight break-up because of a defective longeron supplied by Boeing. The mishap, that took place during a training mission, resulted in a significant grounding event.
Similar cracking issues plagued the USAF F-15 Eagle fleet in the past
Wild Weasel F-16C print
This print is available in multiple sizes from AircraftProfilePrints.com – CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS. F-16CM Fighting Falcon – Wild Weasel 50th Anniversary, 2015
The Eagle destroyed in that incident was from the 131st Fighter Wing of the Missouri Air National Guard. On Nov. 2, 2007 the aircraft departed on a standard training sortie. The F-15C, flown by Maj. Stephen Stilwell, experienced a violent shudder in its forward fuselage approximately 20 minutes after departing from an airfield near St. Louis. Then the aircraft broke up at an altitude of 18,000 feet above the ground. Major Stilwell managed to eject safely (despite sustaining a dislocated left shoulder and a fractured left arm) just before the aircraft broke apart, scattering debris across the Missouri countryside.
As reported by The Seattle Times, investigators traced the cause of the accident to the jet’s longeron. The investigation revealed that the longeron in question exhibited a non-uniform thickness, failing to meet the 0.10-inch (0.25 centimeter) specification outlined in the Boeing contract. The measured thickness ranged between 0.039 and 0.073 inches, a significant deviation that compromised the structural integrity of the longeron.
A comprehensive inspection program for all F-15 A-D models in the USAF followed the investigation into the crash of the F-15C. As a result, all 441 of the F-15 fighter interceptors were temporarily sidelined. The inspections revealed that a concerning number, a total of 182 aircraft, had longerons that didn’t meet original manufacturing specifications.
After undergoing additional inspections as the investigation was completed, most of the grounded F-15s were cleared to return to flight by February 2008.
F-15 model
This model is available from AirModels – CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS.
Photo credit: SMSGT JOHN P. ROHRER / U.S. Air Force
Dario Leone
Dario Leone is an aviation, defense and military writer. He is the Founder and Editor of “The Aviation Geek Club” one of the world’s most read military aviation blogs. His writing has appeared in The National Interest and other news media. He has reported from Europe and flown Super Puma and Cougar helicopters with the Swiss Air Force.
@TAGC17 via X
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I’m opening up my commissions again with sliding-scale pricing to support me during this challenging time. Due to a serious injury, I’ve lost my income and can't manage my Etsy shop or work in person due to mobility issues.
I had to spend a lot making my space accessible, which quickly drained my bank account.
🌿What is Sliding Scale Pricing?🌿
Sliding scale pricing allows you to pay what you can afford within a set range.
🌿How to Select Your Tier:🌿
Low Income: Struggling to make ends meet (students, part-time workers, high medical expenses).
Mid Income: Stable income covering living expenses comfortably.
High Income: Disposable income; please consider this tier if you make a good salary.
🌿Here’s what I offer for
Design Services🌿
Stickers, Shirts, Totes, Posters, Album Covers, Buttons, Cards, Repeat Patterns.
Sticker and button designs are provided digitally. Shirt designs add CAD 50 per additional colour due to screen printing complexities. If not screen-printed, we can discuss pricing via email.
I also offer regular digital illustrations; email me with details for pricing.
Pricing:
Low-Income Tier: CAD 125
Mid-Income Tier: CAD 250
High-Income Tier: CAD 500
🌿Tattoo Designs🌿
Tattoo designs are now priced based on size with sliding scale options:
Tattoo Designs:
Small: CAD 55-75
Medium: CAD 75-125
Large: CAD 125-200
Prices may vary depending on complexity.
💌How to Commission💌
Reach out at [email protected]. Provide your preferred colour scheme, deadline, inspiration photos, specific imagery, dimensions, and style preferences. You’ll get two rounds of input to refine the design. The final deliverables are high-res digital files.
I require a 50% upfront deposit, with the balance due upon finalization. Payments can be made via PayPal or E-transfer.
I also offer Teams meetings if you prefer to discuss your project over video. I know some folks find that easier to have an initial conversation.
#queer artist#queer art#canadian artist#illustration#artists on tumblr#deirdre sokolowska#asexual artist#artwork#unwashedace#digital art#sliding scale commissions#art commissions#commissions#commissions open#merch design#poster design#album design#sticker design#gay art
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STUDY (monday) SUNDAY
21-Oct-2024, #2
I FORGOT! SORRY FOLKS
IRL PNGs, Portable Characters, Laminated Goobers.
(I HAVE NO CLUE ON WHAT TO CALL EM)
Materials:
I used Canson Watercolor pad, Sakura watercolor and whatever pens good pens I have lying around
Dimensions
I designed each card to fit within 12x7cm. With 1½ cm will be where it'll be held by a ring binder since I want it to be like a flipbook style.
Problems
Watercolor paper is too thick, there are some gaps of air formed along the ridges like a silhouette. If I managed to hit those air bubbles or didn't give it enough room, it might cause the lamination to break and separate both sheets.
Solution
Sadly, We can't cut them to the size I was thinking so we have to keep it close but at the same time not too big. But close for durability.
Suggestions
If you folks willing to pay printing services extra coin or so, I suggest making a printed colored copy that is USED for actual lamination.
THANKS TO MY DAD FOR HELPING ME CUT THEM TO SIZE! I SUCK WHEN IT COMES TO MEASUREMENTS AND SYMMETRY!
#n3mesi5#n3mys535#artists on tumblr#arts and crafts#original art#original character#lineart#watercolor#seals#lamination#art tutorial#art blog#philippines#study sunday
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