#man wants to go home but can’t because he’s working
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch6. the in-laws
ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
ᰔ chapter. 6/x
ᰔ words. 12.6k
a/n. hiii my ihm lovelies!! hope you all had a great holiday season. i wanted to get this chapter out as a christmas gift but i failed and then i wanted to get it out as a new years post but failed and then i got food poisoning yesterday and while i was rotting in bed i ended up finishing the chapter LOL. it seems i can only write when i'm under duress? but anywho. hope you enjoy haha and see you at the bottom!
nav. masterlist
“Alright, let’s head out,” you hear Gojo say from the bottom of the staircase, followed by the sound of dress shoes on the hardwood floor, and you glance over to see him clad in a navy suit with a white button up shirt that had one singular button undone. He’s messing with the cuffs of his suit jacket as he makes his way over to you. You catch the scent of his cologne, and it’s alarming how familiar it’s become to you.
Days go by shorter lately, mainly because it’s winter, and so the sun has almost fully set by 6pm. The sky outside is a dark hue of purple, seen past the windows of Gojo’s house, and the warm, dim lighting inside makes you feel strangely nostalgic. Like in a way that feels like home.
You tirelessly tousle with your hair at the mirror hanging above the foyer table that was snug up against the wall at the front entrance. Your hair wasn’t cooperating. You attempted to curl it, for the first time in forever given you can’t remember the last time you had enough time to do your hair, so you were out of practice. It was obvious, given the way some strands were curled outwards from your face, some inwards, some straighter than others, some curlier than others, and you were about to have a full blown mental breakdown before you remember your grounding exercises– 1, 2, 3, 4.
You turn to face Gojo, who you saw in the mirror was standing behind you and watching you with amusement, and you breathe in deep. “How do I look?” you ask, petting down the fabric of your dress as you face him. The thought occurs to you–why do you give so much of a fuck how you look right now? It’s just Gojo’s family. It’s not like they’re actually your in-laws. And from what Gojo’s mother had told you, it was just an intimate little get-together with Sana’s family. It’s really not a big deal. Yet the necessity to impress still consumes you.
Gojo threads his hands into the pockets of his pants and tilts his head to assess your appearance, and you watch his gaze trace the frame of you. “Nice,” he says, “you look nice.”
“That’s it? Just nice?”
“Well, I tried to call you hot earlier, but it got me yelled at.”
You roll your eyes and grab your purse off the foyer table, “okay, whatever, I’ll take it.” And then you head towards the front door. You hear the jingle of car keys from behind you as they’re shoved into a pocket.
The outside air is chilly in a way that’s almost sobering. Gojo opens the door for you to get inside his car and the warmth of your peach cobbler in your lap comforts some of the nerves you felt. By the time Gojo clicks his seatbelt into place in the driver seat, you realize you’ve never been in his car before, or driven anywhere by him before.
The interior smells of pine and something more familiar too, with sleek leather seats that are so comfortable they make you feel like you’re floating. You know it’s a Benz, you’re just not sure what year or model, and you’d usually ask most people out of a friendly curiosity, but for some reason your pride always got the best of you when it came to him.
“I seriously can’t wait to eat that thing you made,” Gojo comments after he’s backed out of the driveway, “it looks really nice.”
“Do you have a sweet tooth?” you ask him, glancing over at him, and you try not to stare at the strong one-handed grip he has on the steering wheel as he corrects it.
“Oh yeah,” he answers, “big time.”
“You don’t seem like it,” you mindlessly say, turning your head to glance out into the dim street, passing by houses that idly sit in this neighborhood.
“Why’s that?” he asks.
“You seem to maintain a steady weight,” you politely comment.
You can hear the smile in his voice. “Is that the closest I’ll ever get to a compliment from you?”
You roll your eyes. “It’s just science. Hard to maintain a build if you eat a lot of sugar.”
He turns onto the mainroad, and you keep your gaze plastered to the outside. “I seem to manage.”
“It’s because you're tall. Tall people get to eat whatever they want.”
You see him nod his head once in your periphery, and you take it as some form of dismissal. “Sure.”
It doesn’t take terribly long to get to Gojo’s parents’ house, just a thirty-five minute drive without traffic. He kept surprisingly silent throughout most of it, and the few moments you did glance at his face, you could even say he looked like he was deep in thought. With a creased brow, a grip on the steering wheel that sometimes faltered, sometimes strengthened, but rarely fully eased. It was all so different from his usual impulse to talk. You know that you often wish for Gojo to shut the fuck up sometimes, but the silence seemed unsettling today.
His parents’ house is large, maybe twice the size of the homes in your neighborhood, but it’s tucked away in a slightly remote area, where the next closest house is about a quarter of a mile down the road. The driveway is long and runs downhill, so you stumble a little on the high heel of your shoe when you step down onto the pebbled pavement, but Gojo holds your elbow so you don’t fall onto your face. And also so you don’t drop the peach cobbler he so desperately wants to try. You’re not sure which of the two was the bigger priority for him.
As you two walk up the driveway towards the front entrance, you hear him sigh behind you. “Just so you know, my mom doesn’t really have any sense of boundaries.”
“Ah,” you comment, “nice to know where you get it from.”
He gives you an irritated look, seen in the corner of your eye, and it’s hard to fight the small amused smile that makes its way onto your face.
He sighs again as you two make it to the top of the steps. “Seriously, though. Chances of you wanting to leave me after this dinner are high.”
“Why? You’ve got a hot older brother I don’t know about or something?”
“I am the hot older brother,” he tells you.
You resist the urge to roll your eyes, and then face him fully. “You’re not the first guy that’s warned me about his parents, okay? I’ll handle my own. What good is life if your in-laws–er, fake in-laws–aren’t at least a little strange?”
He lifts his finger to the doorbell, and just before pressing it, he says, “alright, then.”
It only takes twelve seconds for the door to swing open, the aroma of fresh herbs and something more sultry like vetiver arouse your senses, along with a warmth beckoning you from the inside of the home.
Gojo’s mother stands at the doorway, surrounded by a halo of warm lighting, and her face instantly morphs into one of delightful glee.
“Oh! My dear, you’ve made it!” she exclaims happily, and just when you think she’s about to pull Gojo in for a hug, she pulls you in for one first instead, which startles you. “How lovely!”
“Oh—” you stutter, stumbling slightly as your nose becomes buried in the fluff of her silk pressed hair, but the delicate fragrance of lilac is somehow comforting.
She pulls you away to hold you by your shoulders. “You poor thing, you’re shivering! Come inside.” She hastily ushers you inside and you can feel the heat from Gojo’s body as he follows closely on your tail.
When his mother closes the door behind you, you find yourself surrounded by the kind of warmth only a house could provide.
You take a small look around the foyer, noticing that it’s large with tones of deep wood and a bright white and golden chandelier that hangs daintily above in the cavity of the high ceilings. Leather, wood, velvet, silk, these are the textures that you see as you look around. It’s an old-fashioned taste, with a polished grand piano off to the right in the hall and display cases of vintage dolls and porcelain plates. So very different from modern, but it’s comforting. Like a wave of nostalgia, but from something you’ve never experienced before.
“What’s this?” Mrs. Gojo asks with curiosity lilting her voice as she walks up to you and points at the casserole dish you were holding.
“Oh, it’s peach cobbler,” you say, holding it up slightly with a small smile adorning your face, “for dessert.”
“How sweet! You’re an angel,” she coos, then twists her torso towards the kitchen, “honey! Come here, will you?”
Shuffling down the hallway from the heart of the house is, who you presume to be, Mr. Gojo. He’s tall, with his shoulders slightly curved forward as he approaches you all, and you note that he looks more aged than his missus.
“Ah, this must be my new daughter-in-law,” he says, his voice gruff and crackly from years of use. You smell the faintest hint of smoke from his clothing.
You glance at Gojo, who is watching you interact with his parents, an unreadable expression on his face as his hands remain shoved into the pocket of his suit pants.
Mr. Gojo takes the peach cobbler from you and gives you a curt smile before taking it back towards the kitchen.
“Darling, I must say, you have a lovely figure—” Gojo’s mother begins to say, reaching her hand out to hover it over the curve of your waist, but just at that moment, Gojo comes up to stand in between the two of you.
“Alright, what time’s dinner?” he asks.
Mrs. Gojo glances up at him, her face immediately twisting into a frown. “Nevermind that. I want to take y/n with me back to the kitchen to help braise the chicken,” she says, grabbing a hold of your wrist and tugging you towards her.
“Oh—” you stumble slightly.
“Nope,” you hear Gojo say from beside you, and suddenly there’s a strong arm wrapping around your waist as he pulls you back to his side, “she stays with me for the night.” You’d remember to blush at the feeling of being pressed flush up against him, but the shock overshadowed.
“Satoru!” Mrs. Gojo exclaims, rather loudly, and she lets out a hmph noise before placing her hands on her hips. “You’re no fun!”
“I’m not gonna let you indoctrinate her into whatever multi-level marketing scheme you’ve fallen victim to this month,” he says, his hold on your waist tightening.
“How petulant!” she says, trying to manage a stern look but Gojo doesn’t seem fazed by it, “quit acting like I’m going to corrupt her! I’m not some witch.”
“Your track record would prove otherwise,” he comments.
“Oh please, the only other time was when you brought—”
She suddenly stops speaking, her eyes going wide, and she glances at you. You cluelessly tilt your head at her.
Ah. The other woman. This mysterious ex-wife. Would you be the other woman in this case? Seeing as to how his entire family seems to walk on eggshells about the subject around you. And they all seem to think that any mention of her would devastate you, when really, you and Gojo aren’t even actually lovers.
But there’s a small part of you,
A teeny tiny part,
Revealed from the way your heart sank at the realization of who his mother was referring to,
That actually does feel some type of way about it.
You want to know who this woman was to him. Does he still think of her? Does he still love her? What happened between them? Was she the one that got away? And how does he feel about the fact that he’s now here with you?
You shake your head vigorously to get those thoughts out of your head.
It was like method acting. You stepped into the role of wife this evening, and now you feel the way that they expect you to feel at the mention of your husband’s ex-lover.
That must be the reason, right?
You slowly push yourself out of Gojo’s hold, and you try not to become hyper aware of his eyes on you as you smooth out the fabric of your dress, then you glance at his mother.
“I’d love to help you braise the chicken,” you say.
There’s a brief silence as you find your voice in this house, and then Mrs. Gojo flashes you a grin.
“Come with me, honey,” she says before wrapping a delicate hand around your wrist and pulling you towards the heart of the house.
There are pictures hung up on the walls as you brush past every hallway, along with peeling wallpaper that is peppered with florals and striped prints, sanded off from years of shoulders brushing against their surfaces in a way that creates an old, dated charm. You learn quickly that Gojo has always been pretty tall, judging from the photo of him standing with, whom you assume are his middle school friends, out on a boat, holding a bass the size of a small child.
There’s photos of the four of them together, like one professionally taken photo where Gojo and Sana are knelt in front of their parents, and your gaze fixates on the strong grip Mr. Gojo has on his son’s shoulder, digging deep in the bone, creasing the fabric, almost desperately. Gojo looks young in the photo, maybe a recent high school graduate, and his smile is bright but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
And, God, the trophies. The trophies that adorned the surfaces of aged cedar wood dressers, seemingly random in the order they are sprawled across the display yet you know there was intention behind it too. Ballet, soccer, tennis, spelling bee, FRC, even dragon boat racing.
“Feel free to take any of those home,” Mrs. Gojo says with a teasing tone, “you eventually get tired of staring at them.”
You wouldn’t know. Your mother never had much extra cash hanging around to take you to tennis lessons, or ballet lessons, or SAT prep, or whatever. You were lucky enough that you got into college with the cards you were dealt, but you sometimes wonder what your potential could’ve been if you had parents like Gojo did. Maybe the house you live in would be your own, and not something that your mother has spent the past forty years of her life trying to pay off. Maybe you’d have a freshly renovated kitchen and a pretty boat out on the street. But throwing a pity party for yourself right now wasn’t exactly going to get you through the evening.
Mrs. Gojo finally leads you into the kitchen, and the aroma of fresh herbs overwhelms your senses.
“Smells wonderful,” you comment.
“I know,” she cheekily comments, “will you turn the meat please?”
You grab a pair of tongs and attempt to sear the cuts that were sizzling on the stove.
“Sooooo,” she coos, wasting no time to playfully bump her hip to yours, “how is married life?”
“Nice,” you respond, your cheeks warming slightly, “it’s nice.”
“It won’t always be that way, you know,” she muses with some underlying sense of sincerity that isn’t lost on you.
When you remain quiet, concentrating on the searing sizzling noises coming from the pan, she decides to keep speaking.
“Eventually, you two will settle in a little too much…start to care less about your bodies…and then, oh gosh, when kids come into the picture, forget about having any time for yourselves,” she continues, “some days you’ll resent him, others you’ll feel like it’s the first time all over again.” She sighs. “Marriage is a funny thing—”
“Mrs. Gojo,” you interrupt her, turning to face her, “I—…I really appreciate you, I do, but, um, I’ve already learned a lot already about marriage from my own parents. Things are fine between Satoru and me.” You look into her widened eyes. “And…if something does happen down the line, and we choose not to be together anymore, then that’s okay too.”
After all, you had to prepare her.
“But that’s the thing!” she chirps, “your generation is too—…too impatient. Unwilling to work anything out! A marriage is supposed to be hard, but also it’s something you aren’t supposed to give up on so easily.”
It’s your turn to meet her with widened eyes in response to her preaching, and her posture immediately deflates before she holds you gently by your arm.
“I’m sorry, honey…I know it’s too early to be saying all these things to you,” she says, managing a small smile, “I always forget that I’m too old to be doting on my children like this anymore.”
Your expression softens and you wrap your palm over her bony knuckles, feeling the thinness of the skin that stretches over them. In a brief glimpse, you see your own mother in Mrs. Gojo’s eyes, something familiar, a universal expression of the love a parent has for their child.
“Well…” you say after clearing your throat, “for what it’s worth, you have nothing to worry about, Mrs. Gojo.” You try to manage a small smile. “I’m—…I’m really happy with your son.”
It was hard to lie to someone like this, especially from the way there’s relief that floods her irises, a genuine feeling that is so hard to come by in these days of false niceties. You often wonder how far a single white lie can stretch before it shatters against its own resistance.
“That’s a relief,” she says, managing her own prim smile, “I’m so glad.”
The two of you finish up in the kitchen, and when you circle around back into the hall, you see Sana standing in the warmly lit family room with Gojo and their dad.
Sana catches your eye, and you purse your lips together hesitantly before walking up to her.
“Hey,” you say softly and she returns the small smile you give her.
“Hi,” she says back to you.
“Um, where’s Juno?” you ask, looking around.
“Oh, she has a sleepover at her friend’s house tonight,” Sana says, “Jun’s dropping her off, and then he’ll come by here later.”
“Ah, I see,” you comment, itching at your elbow from the awkwardness.
“Well,” Mr. Gojo says, gesturing towards the dining room, “let’s eat, shall we?”
The three of you nod at him.
It’s fascinating to watch how the family falls naturally into their chairs, an assigned seating pattern that stays consistent among all dining halls and rooms and tables in the world, one that every family has. Mr. Gojo sits at the head of the table, his wife to his left, his son to his right. Sana sits quaintly to her mother’s left, and you sit across from her to Gojo’s left. The one empty seat is left for the presence of Jun.
“Food looks wonderful, darling,” Mr. Gojo says before leaning over to place a kiss on her bashful cheek.
Your heart does something weird at the sight. A simultaneous twinge paired with a warmer feeling that follows. You hardly witnessed any affection within your household growing up, not between your parents at least, probably because you were young when they got divorced and so the turmoils and tribulations started long before you had any higher order of cognitive discernment beyond the childish interest in Disney princesses and The Backyardigans. For you, the only memories that last of your parents’ marriage are those that feel like nothing more than the frigidity of a business arrangement. Ironically similar to the one you were currently in with Gojo. Except at least yours hadn’t been initially built on a foundation of love and a promise to be there for one another until death did you two apart.
Death was knocking on your mother’s doorstep now. But your father was nowhere to be found. So much for a vow.
Mr. Gojo pours his son a glass of whiskey, single malt as read on the label. Mrs. Gojo pours you and Sana a glass of red wine, and you try to hide the grimace, because you would’ve much rather had the whiskey.
“To y/n,” Mr. Gojo says, raising his glass up into the air, “for being our newest addition to the family.”
You all clink your glasses together, then in a variety of pairings, the last one being the tap of Gojo’s glass against yours, before you all take a drink.
“So…” Mrs. Gojo speaks up, “exactly how long have the two of you been married?”
You glance at Gojo for help, which isn’t exactly an unsuspecting thing to do.
“Four weeks,” he says.
You watch Mrs. Gojo’s eyes twitch. You can understand. Her own son gets married and doesn’t tell her anything about it for four weeks after the wedding. Well, in your case, a courthouse arrangement.
“Where did you two go for your honeymoon?” she asks, and Mr. Gojo clears his throat.
You look at Gojo for help again, and mentally pinch yourself for not being more discreet about how fake this whole thing is.
But Gojo surprisingly looks at ease. “Greece,” he says, and leaves it at that.
Mrs. Gojo’s body language turns to you, clearly irritated by her son’s short and curt answers. “Did you have a fun time, dear?”
“Oh! Yes, it was a very fun time. Definitely did all the newly wed stuff. Just as normal newlyweds do, you know. Because we are newlyweds,” you say through an awkward cough.
“Like…?” Mrs. Gojo pushes, and you can tell that she’s asking out of a genuine curiosity over the itinerary you two had allegedly carried out, but you crack under the pressure.
“W—…We made love,” you say, “we made lots and lots of love.”
The sound of silverware clanking onto ceramic plates startles you out of the blissful ignorance you had to the words that you had just said. Like you were so caught up in your mind about wanting to seem like an actual real life couple to his parents that you almost forgot about the number one social rule when meeting your (fake) significant other’s parents: no references to copulation.
You glance up to find Mrs. Gojo’s eyes are wide, a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks. The width of Mr. Gojo’s eyes match his wife’s except his expression is also duly accompanied by a furrowed, perplexed brow. Sana looks visibly uncomfortable, shifting in her seat and trying hard to put on a poker face as she pretends like she didn’t just hear what you said.
You finally glance at Gojo, who’s looking at you with the most what the fuck? face you’ve ever seen someone make, and there’s concern on there somewhere too, like he’s not even fully convinced that you’re mentally sane at the moment because why on God’s green Earth would you say something like that at a family dinner table.
Trying your best to laugh it off, you say, “ah…ahaha, d-did I say make love? I meant–I meant that we–”
“Just–” Gojo interrupts you. “Just stop.”
Everyone are still stunned silent and the flush to your cheeks grows warmer. While clearing your throat, you set your lap napkin up on the table and clumsily scootch yourself out of your chair.
“Ex���cuse…me...” you mumble under your breath, knocking the table with your knee on accident, your wine glass almost toppling all over the pretty linen tablecloth but your reflexes catch the stem to steady it. “I need to…use the restroom.” And then you head straight down the hallway without sparing them another glance.
“Use the upstairs one!” Mrs. Gojo calls out to you, “the guest bathroom is under renovation.”
“Of fucking course it is,” you mutter under your breath, but flash them a polite smile before rounding the staircase pillar and then briskly walking up the stairs.
You quickly realize there’s more personality to the house upstairs, with some clutter in the theater loft and mismatching decorations that don’t reveal the careful deliberation of an indoor designer. The master bedroom is directly to the right of the top of the staircase and you glance across the loft at a narrow hallway that leads into the three bedrooms tucked away into the heart of the house.
One foot after the other, you float in that direction as if some force were compelling you towards it. Some trance of curiosity that no human being could ever resist. It’s fine. You didn’t actually need to piss anyways.
The first bedroom you walk past is rather boring, with beige tones all around. Beige bed sheets, beige wall paint, beige lamp shade, beige curtains. But the air smells crisp, and you notice there’s a shelf that has about half a dozen plants lined up in a variety of artistic pots. Similar to the set-up Gojo has in his house at home. You walk inside and brush your fingers across the dresser surface, rubbing fine dust over the pads of your fingers, and with your next inhale, you sneeze.
A guest bedroom, you think to yourself.
The next bedroom you walk past is sweeter, kinder, warmer. There’s pink hues scattered across, the most obvious one being the pillow covers, and there are some shades of a baby blue as well. But the furniture looks modern, sleek, and new. There were two identities at war in the room, like that of a little girl and a grown woman. Neither able to find its voice among the chaos of friendship bracelets sprawled across the desk and the Louis Vuitton purse resting at the foot of the bed.
Sana’s room, you think to yourself.
Childhood bedrooms are like time capsules if left untouched for very long. You’ve lived in your room at home for as long as you can remember, only recently having shifted to the master bedroom. The room grew up with you. It had no chance to become some entity of its own.
The next bedroom you walk by feels familiar, even before you walk inside. There’s a comforting feeling that envelopes just from the lighting alone. You push the door open with a gentle palm.
The culprit of any young man’s room–navy blue sheets. Stretched taut against a made-up bed that has some sort of feminine flair to it, like it wasn’t set by Gojo, but rather his mother passing by his room one day to sit in his absence, only to needlessly mess with the sheets because it gave her a sense of purpose. You go eighteen years pouring blood, sweat, and tears into raising a child, protecting them, nurturing them, being the one they lean on for all of life’s woes, only for them to pack up and leave one day. You suppose that if you were a parent, you would find melancholy in that loss of responsibility too.
His desk is a large expanse of cedar wood with a desktop monitor and some bookshelf speakers set up on it. The PC itself has collected dust over the years but there’s a small mechanical whirring noise you hear somewhere within. The rest of the desk is mostly empty except for some unopened mail tucked away with some books, the spines creased at the last few hundred pages, but never to the end.
You pick one of the books up, flipping the pages open, and see sticky notes on some of them. Like English literature notes one would take in class, with studious words that over exaggerate the significance of the prose just to make a teacher happy. Who cares if the curtains were blue? Maybe the author just wanted them to be blue. Why does everything in life have to have meaning?
Setting the book back down with a sigh, you walk over to the bookshelf. There are some more trophies, some sets of comic books, some strange robotic-looking figurines. Small picture frames of foreign scenery are set up in different corners wherever there is empty space, like an afterthought.
“Hmm…” you hum to yourself, tilting your head to the side to read the vertical spine of a thick black book that was tucked flush up against the shelf's side.
West Valley High School. Class of 2007.
With your index finger hooking the spine, you slowly pull the book out from its comfy corner. It’s heavy in your hands and you notice that there are ink smudges across the tips of your fingers.
When you open the cover, you’re met with a page filled with a variety of colors and handwriting, and you realize they’re signatures. And to no one’s surprise, most of them are feminine. With hearts, some merely outlines, some shaded in with ink, scattered across the page. Bubbly handwriting, neat handwriting, cursive handwriting, a lot of it in pinks and purples and reds. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was like those Valentine’s Day cards all the girls would sign in grade school to pass onto their crush, except imagine if all of them were intended for just one guy.
You roll your eyes as you flip the pages, seeing no end in sight to the signed ink. I mean, come on, how many signature pages does a yearbook even need? This was excessive. And, no, you aren’t bitter simply because your high school yearbook has maybe a max of fifteen signatures (four of which were from your teachers). It’s just frustrating. And confusing. Why does everyone on this planet adore Gojo except you? Is there something wrong with you? Are you the problem?
There are some signatures from boys too, most likely his friends. Otherwise, you’re not sure what random fleeting classmate you’ve only spoken to a couple times would be brazen enough to draw pictures of penises squirting in whatever empty space they could find in your yearbook, if not for his high school friends. These boys are probably in their mid thirties now, just as Gojo is, maybe with wives and kids they’re now responsible for. You wonder if they’d still find the drawings funny all the same today.
You flip the pages more, taking in image after image after image of smiling portraits. ABC…DE…F…ah, G. Hmm, there. There it was.
Gojo Satoru.
Seems like his high school didn’t allow yearbook quotes, but you try to imagine what his would be. Probably something corny and lame, like See kids? I told you I was sexy in high school.
He looks cute though. With his hair fluffy, boyishly ruffled to pair with a charming smile that’s at ease. He just looks a little younger, that’s all. Not that much different. Perhaps a bit more scrawny, a bit more mischievous-looking. As opposed to his adult self, who appears sturdy. More serious. But you realize that cheeky part of him that comes out every now and then when he’s teasing you or pissing you off is that boy within him that looks exactly like the portrait in this yearbook that you trace with the pad of your finger.
You close the book, suddenly a little out of breath, and then slip it back into place. Your eyes catch the shimmer of the trophy at the top of the shelf. It was shaped like a baseball glove mitt, and in the palm cup, there is an actual baseball in there with a black ink signature. You gently pick it up and turn it in your palm to try and read the ink.
Ichiro.
Your dad used to watch baseball. You’re familiar. Seattle Mariners, Ichiro Suzuki. The first Japanese player to ever make it to the Major Leagues. Ten time all-star, and tenth member of the Mariners hall of fame. He retired when you were just a little girl, but you still remember the look of awe in your father’s eyes as he stared at the box TV in the living room of your house when Ichiro took his last stand at the plate.
Gojo was also a boy at that time. Living in this house. Maybe his old man was watching that game at the same time. And maybe Gojo was watching the look on his father’s face, too. It’s the romance of life–you look up at the moon in the sky, and you know that there is someone else out there, someone that you’ll meet some day, maybe even someone that will mean the world to you someday, who’s looking at it too. But you just don’t know it yet.
Lost in endless, rather fruitless thought, you continue to turn the baseball in your hand to pointlessly assess the seams, but it slips out of your hand and onto the carpeted floor with a loud hollow thud that startles you, and when you attempt to bend down and pick it up, you accidentally push it with your toe and it rolls underneath the bed.
“Shit,” you mumble, getting down onto your hands and knees to look underneath the bed.
You see the ball rolled a few feet away, and when you reach for it, it becomes clear that you don’t have the arm span to grab it. You struggle and you struggle, the tips of your fingers barely tickling its seam, and the frustration makes you sweat a little.
“Come…here…you…stupid…thing,” you mutter. You’re sure your hair is a static mess now, too.
You finally manage to roll it towards you a couple inches and then your palm wraps around it before pulling it to your shoulder, but not without something collateral that’s dragged along with it.
A photograph. Printed out, vintage. You pinch the corner between your two fingers and stand back up onto your two feet in order to better assess the image under the light of the floor lamp.
The first person you notice in the photo is Gojo. He looks younger than in the yearbook, but he’s wearing a suit and a tie. It’s a little big on him, ill-fitting as most teenage boys should look in a suit, like a rite of passage. His smile is less warm than the one in the yearbook too, more prim and stretched into a thin line that’s only slightly curved upwards. It’s only then when you notice the slender fingers sprawled across his chest near the collar of his undershirt, black nail polish blending in with the fabric of the suit. Your eyes trail the dainty hand, and your heart skips a beat when you see a girl standing next to him, pressed up against him, her smile much brighter than his. Pink braces line her teeth and her hair is that classic mid-2000s side-swept bang mess, but she’s pretty. Dressed in a pink-ish purple gown that almost looks like a bridesmaids dress, and you finally see the banner stretched across behind the both of them in the picture that reads Homecoming 2005.
It’s hard to explain it, but you can just feel it somehow. That this person is important to him. Not just some last-minute date to Homecoming, or an old high school girlfriend he’s long since lost touch with. It seems larger than that, somehow. Unlike penises drawn on yearbook paper, this feels like something a person never outgrows.
Of course, people have lived fully-fledged lives before you’ve met them. Just as you have as well. But you’re overtaken by the insane curiosity to want to learn every single detail about this past life that Gojo has lived. Where did he and his friends hang out after school? When did he learn how to drive? When was the first time he got shit-faced drunk? When was the first time he snuck out of the house? And who was this girl in the picture?
“Find what you’re lookin’ for yet?” a voice calls out, entirely startling you to where you almost jolt out of your skin, and you swiftly turn on your heel towards the entrance of the room.
You see Gojo standing in the door frame, leaning against it with his arms crossed as he levels his gaze at you. He has a blank expression on his face, although you would say it’s more serious than playful.
“What–...I–” you stutter, shuffling the picture you were holding behind your back so he doesn’t see.
His eyes don’t flit to the movement. “You don’t have to tear the room apart to find my illicit drugs. You could’ve just asked.”
You roll your eyes. “As if you would do drugs.”
“You say that like it’s an insult.”
“It is.”
“So, then, if you’re not looking for drugs, what are you looking for?”
Your cheeks are warm. “I don’t know. Petty cash? Human body parts? Playboy?”
He snorts. “Playboy? Who still has a subscription to Playboy?”
“Maybe your teenage self did.”
“I’m not that old,” he says, “I was watching porn like the rest of my peers.”
“Ew, you freak,” you say, and you grab one of his pillows and throw it at him.
He lets out a laugh before catching the pillow with ease, and then walks up to you, placing the pillow on top of your head. You half-glare, half-pout at him.
“C’mon,” he probes, “tell me why you’re hiding away up here.”
“I embarrassed myself,” you confide in him with a sulk of your shoulders. “I mean. Seriously. What the fuck was that? What a humiliating thing to say in front of your parents. I just feel so weird pretending like this.”
His expression softens. “Sorry,” he says, “for dragging you into this dinner.”
“No,” you sigh, “I’m the one that did. I forgot you can’t necessarily fake a marriage without…doing the typical couple things.”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,” he hums as his gaze flits towards the bed, “doing the typical couple things, you say?”
You roll your eyes. “In your dreams.”
“Oh, in my dreams alright,” he says with a grin.
“And if I strangled you? What then?”
“I like that. It’s kinky.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you don’t have magazines lying around?”
“Brown box underneath the bed. You didn’t look hard enough.”
You give him a disgusted look. He laughs.
“I’m joking,” he says, pushing his hands into his pockets.
“I’m not convinced,” you say, turning your body away from him slightly to keep the photo hidden behind your back.
He tilts his head at you, gaze flickering down to your other hand. Your heart skips a beat. “I could’ve guessed that.”
His hand reaches out and you flinch ever so slightly, something he thankfully doesn’t notice, and then he’s grabbing the baseball out of your palm.
“I always thought I could sell this thing for major money,” he muses, throwing the ball up into the air to catch it. And then doing so again a couple times.
“It’s authentic?” you ask with genuine curiosity.
“Oh yeah. I caught it. First ball game my old man ever took me to, and it happened to be Ichiro’s last.”
Your eyes widen. Gojo was at that game. He wasn’t just watching it from home on some TV like you did with your dad. He was living in it.
“Wow,” you say, “must’ve been quite the game.”
“Don’t really remember too much about it to be honest, other than how stoked I was to just be there with my dad.”
“Mm,” you hum, “I’ll have to ask Mr. Gojo more about it when we get downstairs.”
His expression falters slightly, his smile dropping in the most subtle way that you wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t been intently staring at his face.
“Yeah,” he says, “maybe.”
Gojo continues to stare at the ball in his palm as he rotates it in inspection. There’s an awkward silence that settles between the two of you, and you feel the burden of conversation has suddenly fallen on you.
“My, um. My dad was a fan too,” you say.
His eyes glance up to meet yours. “How come I’ve never met him?”
The question catches you off guard. “Wh–...I’m sorry, what?”
“Your dad,” he says, as if it was something so casual.
“That–...well, he’s–...I don’t know, I haven’t seen him in years,” you admit, “not since…not since my mother was diagnosed with cancer.”
He stares at you earnestly, studying your expression, before he decides on saying nothing else except, “I’m sorry about that.”
You sigh. “Satoru, I–” you start, keen on the way his body stiffens slightly when you say his name, “I really don’t have the capacity for much else tonight. I mean, the questions. And the lies. And walking on eggshells around your mom.”
“Well. I was sent up here to get you,” he says, “and I can’t exactly go downstairs empty handed.”
“Fine. Let’s just get this dinner over with as fast as possible.”
“Sure,” he easily agrees, “I’m with you on that one.”
You take a step forward to head towards the door, but then suck in a sharp gasp when you remember what was being held behind your back.
“Wait,” you say, “look away.”
“...huh?” he huffs, a puzzled look on his face.
“Just look away for a second.”
His eyebrows furrow before he lifts one in a questioning manner. But he acquiesces and turns on his heel to face away from you. “Have I ever told you how strange you are?”
“No,” you say while discretely crouching down, playing along in an attempt to distract him, “you haven’t.” You flinch a little from the sound of your hip popping, but he doesn’t seem to notice and so you bend your wrist in preparation of flinging the photo back to the abyss underneath his bed.
But you stop.
And you take one more glance at the photo.
And your stomach flips the same way it did the first time you saw it.
If you asked, would he tell you?
But the more pressing question is,
Why are you so scared to find out?
You shake your head vigorously to get rid of all your pestering intrusive thoughts. It was the stress, you played it off. A hyperactive mind leads to hyperactive ruminations. And besides, it’s just silly. Sure, there’s your gut feeling that suggests otherwise. But this girl in the photo could really just be an old friend or girlfriend that had no significant impact on the trajectory of his life. Why be the crazy one and lose sleep over this? You’ve lost sleep over plenty of other things in your life, but not stuff like this. It’s just not like you.
You fling the photo across underneath the bed and then stand up just in time for when Gojo turns around to look at you out of curiosity.
“Alright,” you say, dusting your hands off, “let’s go.”
You walk over to where he stands by the doorframe, a slight warmth to your cheeks when he doesn’t move out of your way like he usually does, but instead he leans towards you slightly as you brush past him, and your heart jumps a beat in your chest when you feel his hand gently fall to the small of your back, softly urging you forward ahead of him. A feather of a touch, yet intentional, almost naturally so, like a curious test of the boundary between you two that he’s been dying to understand a bit better. And the fact you don’t turn on your heel to face him with that same undeserved and petty rage that you always do, and instead slightly shudder at the feel of his touch, means that somewhere along the way, you’ve moved the line a little closer.
He’s hot on your trail as you walk down the stairs slowly and when you turn around the post at the bottom then make your way back to the dining room, you see his family staring at you with wide eyes.
His mother stands up. “y/n! Come sit back down, dear.”
You nod meekly, and Gojo pulls your chair out for you to take a seat before he resumes his seat next to you.
The food is slightly cold by the time you finally get to pick at it. It’s not very seasoned, either. Not enough salt for your taste. But somehow Mrs. Gojo having a phobia of sodium is a study of character that makes perfect sense in your head.
Eventually, the awkward silence is too much for you to bear, and you set your fork and knife down on your napkin with a slight bit more force than you probably should’ve.
Everyone looks at you.
You sigh. “I’m sorry for earlier,” you say, “I’m…uh, I’m just not really used to these sorts of dinners…I don’t have much family here in this town, and it’s always just sort of been my mom and me. And I—…I guess I’m just a little nervous.”
Wide eyes blink at you. Mr. Gojo shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat while Mrs. Gojo blinks her long lashes at you. Sana tilts her head, and you have no interest in seeing what Gojo’s expression looks like. You fear it’s the one you’d remember the most.
You were just being honest with how you felt. And it doesn’t take you long to realize something you probably should’ve realized earlier walking into a home like this where everything was perfect and on display with no evidence of the way a true family can crumble on the inside—a house like this does not value honesty. Your mother couldn’t afford you many luxuries in life, but you never felt like you couldn’t be honest in front of her.
You glimpse up at Sana, and there is some knowing expression on her face. It’s almost sympathetic. As if you two were on the same page about something right now. When you glance at Gojo, you see him staring down at his plate with his brow slightly furrowed.
“It…it’s quite alright, dear,” his mother says through a prim voice, and in an attempt to change the subject, she says, “I do hope you are enjoying the chicken.”
“Ah,” you exhale, “yes. I am.”
“So!” Mrs. Gojo chimes in again as she dabs her mouth to a linen napkin. “Tell me about what you do for fun.”
You blink at her. “Oh, umm…binge watch TV? Occasionally I’ll go for a walk.”
“Ahh interesting! What about reading? Do you enjoy reading?”
“Well, the last book I purchased was a picture book about North Korean missiles…so.”
She lets out a laugh. “And where do you see yourself in five years?”
You hear Gojo sigh beside you before he reluctantly sets down his silverware and then he turns to Mrs. Gojo. “Mom. C’mon. This isn’t a job interview. Just let her eat.”
There’s a slight tinge of pink to the tips of her ears from the interrogation interruption as she glances between the two of you. She looks over at Sana for help but finds nothing other than a gaze tipped down towards a plate full of picked-at food. Mr. Gojo folds a hand over her frail knuckles as if to silently communicate, but Mrs. Gojo retreats her hands to fold in her lap underneath the table.
Feeling somewhat bad for the two of them, you turn the face Gojo’s dad. “Um…Mr. Gojo, Satoru was telling me about how you were a big baseball fan and a big Ichiro fan…do you still keep up with the Mariners?”
The man’s eyes grow wide with a visible confusion and you swear you hear Gojo clear his throat beside you.
“Ah…that’s–” he starts before the sound of the doorbell ringing startles you.
Sana immediately stands up without a word of excusal or a glance in anyone’s direction and she heads straight for the door.
You all look around at one another before Mrs. Gojo says, “must be Jun.”
You were at least glad to find you would not be the only “in-law” at the table full of a tension-laced family dinner, especially given the fact that in most of the cases where you’ve met Jun, his penchant to talk overshadows any other energy.
“What’s up, y/n!” Jun shouts when he waltzes into the dining hall, a few steps ahead of Sana. He throws his jacket over the first surface he finds, body language matching that of someone twenty years younger than he actually is. You can’t tell if it’s overcompensation for something, or if he just genuinely believes he’s still in his twenties.
To your surprise, he opens his arms out for you to greet him with a hug, and you hesitate before standing up slightly to give him a well-meaning wrap of your arms around him, but it lacks any warmth of familiarity.
“Welcome to the fam!” he jovially exclaims before patting your arm. He then hugs Mr. Gojo, then Mrs. Gojo (paired with those cheek kisses that the French do in greeting), then daps up Gojo (to which you notice Gojo is less than enthusiastic about) before he finally kisses Sana on the cheek and then takes his seat at the other end of the table. Your eyes are keen on Sana now, watching her intently, but she remains staring at the food on her plate. You had a feeling there was someone in this room that didn’t want to be at this dinner even more than you did.
“How was traffic, Jun?” Mr. Gojo asks.
“Oh it was nothing. Took a shortcut. Backroute off of Lake City Way. Full of pot holes though.”
Sana turns to him and scowls. “While you were taking Juno to her sleepover?!”
He lifts an eyebrow at her. “Yeah? We were running late.”
“How many times do I have to tell you not to take that route to get into the city! Those pot holes are so dangerous.”
“Honey. Chill. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Just last week I saw news of three plot holes on the Mercer Street intersection opened up. Three people were injured, including a young boy.”
“Okay well if I also believed everything I saw on the news was going to personally happen to me too then we’d have never gotten this far in life.”
“Jun,” Sana deadpans.
“W-Why don’t I fix you a plate, Jun? You must be tired.” Mrs. Gojo chimes in.
Sana breathes in deep and exhales slowly before slumping down into her chair.
“Thanks,” Jun says, easing his brow as he sits back in his chair nonchalantly, before he turns to Gojo and starts to talk about mundane things like the stock market, the recent election, something about a new bowling record, and this one Thai restaurant he really wants to try on the other end of town, all within the span of time it takes Mrs. Gojo to set a plate down in front of him.
Mr. Gojo jumps in on conversation from time to time. Mrs. Gojo listens idly, sometimes placing a laugh where she feels appropriate. Jun gets particularly animated about this incident he ran into earlier last week when he was dropping Juno off at school, a story that you notice everyone at the table is for some reason entirely intrigued by, but you suppose it’s the most interesting topic of conversation you’ve all had tonight thus far. At certain critical points of the story, Sana jumps in with a that’s not what happened, Jun and you find yourself finally settling in somewhat to the evening.
Just as Jun’s story is ending, you glance up to Mrs. Gojo and find that she’s staring at you with a smile on her face. It makes you jump in your seat a little, luckily unnoticed by the rest of the table because of Jun’s engaging theatrical hand gestures as he attempts to keep his wife, his brother-in-law and his father-in-law engaged. You would’ve expected Mrs. Gojo to avert her gaze the second yours locked with hers, but she doesn’t. She just continues to look at you with a soft smile on her face and a slight tilt to her head, like she’s getting used to the sight of seeing you at this table.
Her gaze flits downwards slightly and you follow her line of gaze, tracing it to the ring that was adorning your left hand.
Your eyes widen slightly.
“Oh–” you stutter, the words already getting caught in your throat, “I–...I forgot to say, it’s an honor to wear your ring, Mrs. Gojo.” The table suddenly goes quiet, and you can’t tell if it’s because of you, or if it’s because there was no more story left to tell. “It’s beautiful.”
It truly felt like for every two steps you took forward, it was ten steps backwards. Because you watch the way that soft smile of hers entirely drops, her expression replaced with one of confusion, brows knitted together as she looks at you like you’ve just spoken in a language no one on Earth can speak.
She glances at Gojo, and you don’t have to look at him to tell that he’s stiff in his seat. You could’ve felt the tension from a mile away.
Mrs. Gojo looks at you again. “Oh honey, that–” She glances between you and Gojo. “That’s not my ring…”
Your eyes widen, cheeks already flush from whatever’s to come.
But suddenly, and to your surprise, Sana speaks up. “It was our mother’s ring.”
You look at her with confusion. And then you glance at Gojo. And then you glance back at Sana. And then at Mr. & Mrs. Gojo.
“But…” you trail off.
“Sumiko and Daichi are our aunt and uncle,” Sana says with a strained voice, “our real parents died in a house fire when we were younger.”
You blink at her in shock.
“He didn’t tell you?” Mr. Gojo asks.
“I–” You glance at Gojo and see that he’s poking his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he stares down at the glass of scotch he was twirling around in his hand.
“Of course he didn’t,” Sana interrupts, the bitterness in her voice matching the attitude she’s since displayed this entire evening. Her gaze is locked onto her brother’s face, and when his gaze flickers up to meet her eye contact, his expression is set with a tense jaw. “He never wants to mention them. He never wants to acknowledge their life. He never wants to honor them. He just wants to pretend like they never existed.”
“Sana,” he cuts her off, and a chill gets sent down your spine from the seriousness and rigidity in his voice. “Now’s not the time for this.”
“When is the fucking time?!” she spats at him, the simmering tension brewing over. Ah. Yes. The moment you had been expecting. After all, what family does not have its baggage? Sana abruptly stands up from the table, startling everyone with the clanking of silverware and ceramic from the motion. “When is the fucking time for you to admit that you never gave a shit about mom and dad dying? When is the fucking time for you to admit that we moved on to live with these people so fast? When is the fucking time for you to admit how wrong it was for you to force me to call the people here my mom and dad my whole life when they aren’t?” Her voice cracks near the end.
You glance at Mr. & Mrs. Gojo, who both look shocked, hurt, even embarrassed as they gaze down at their food. Your heart stalls in your chest for them.
When you glance back at Gojo, you see that his gaze is hardened even further now. “You’re being rude,” he says, in as steady of a voice as he can manage from the way his brow is creased with disappointment.
“Yeah, whatever,” Sana says as she wipes at the tears with her sleeves, and you notice that she looks young like this. Younger than the usual prim and proper self that she portrays. Too young to be a mom, too young to be a wife, too young to be an adult. Like someone propelled into a life that she never wanted. “That’s always what you say, isn’t it? No answers, you just claim that I’m being childish and rude.” Jun tries to reach out to hold her hand but she snatches it away from him. Under her breath she says, “I didn’t want to come here. I should’ve just stayed home.” And with a rough swipe of her sleeve across both of her cheeks, she suddenly storms off somewhere deep into the house. Jun immediately stands up to follow her, leaving the four of you here with stale, cold food.
The timer in the oven goes off, the sound heard in the distance like a lifeline, and Mrs. Gojo immediately stands up. “Ah, must be…the roasted potatoes. I’ll be right back,” she fusses, and you avert your gaze from her face so she doesn’t feel embarrassed over the streak of a tear you saw streaming down her face.
“Let me help you,” Mr. Gojo says in a small sheepish mumble before following his wife into the kitchen.
And then there were two.
You only have a moment to process the dramatic outburst and subsequent fall-through before you turn in your chair to face Gojo, your face narrowing in contempt. You see him running a hand through his hair, entirely ruffling out any sort of neatness he had combed it into earlier, and he undoes the top button of his shirt with an impatient thumb like he was letting go of whatever image he had been trying to keep up for tonight, because after what just happened, there was no use.
“So when were you going to tell me that they aren’t actually your real parents???” you hiss at him.
He sighs and runs a hand down his face. “They’ve raised us since Sana was just three years old. I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Okay well if I had known then I wouldn’t have mentioned the ring??? Now everyone’s left the table because of me.”
“It’s not because of you,” he quickly corrects you, “it’s because of years of unnecessary drama of which I’ve still got no fucking clue why it still gets brough up at every. family. dinner. If you didn’t bring it up, then they would’ve figured out a way to bring it up somehow anyways.”
You blink at him, a little taken aback by how dejected he was by this entire conversation.
“Are you going to go check on Sana?” you ask him.
“No,” he says without hesitation, “she’ll calm down soon enough.”
You press your lips into a thin line, contemplating his dismissal, before you let out a huff of disappointment and disapproval. You pull your napkin off of your lap, setting it up on the table, and slip out of your chair to head into the house in the direction you saw Sana storm off into, leaving Gojo to himself at the table.
As you walk down the hallway, all those pictures you saw hung up on the walls, those photos of illusion that painted this pretty picture of a nuclear family fall apart in the narrow space, those firm smiles and hesitant postures making much more sense to you now. They aren’t even his real parents. Baseball and wedding rings. Those details belonged to a life he never intended on sharing with you.
You walk past the kitchen, stopping briefly just beyond the entrance before backtracking and you find Sana standing near the sink with her arm across her chest as her other hand wipes at her cheeks. The soft sound of a sniffle echoes in the room and you’re surprised to see that Jun left her alone.
Tentatively, you shuffle your feet across the wooden floor. She seems to make note of you in her periphery but refuses to glance up.
“Hey…” you start when you finally make it to the space in front of her, your hip leaning against the edge of the sink counter in parallel with hers as you face her.
“I—” she starts, shuffling her palms across her cheeks again. “I am so severely embarrassed.”
Your eyes widen slightly at the honesty. “Don’t be. It’s just family.”
“No but that’s the point,” she says through a crack in her voice, “I’m thirty-one, I’m married, I’m a mom, but they’ll always just see me as some immature little brat because I always behave like this.”
You don’t know what to say. You suppose if you were a therapist, or a priest, or a mentor, or a mom yourself, or any other person with an emotional IQ higher than yourself, you would know the right thing to say to her right now. But you don’t. So silence is all that you can offer her, and you hope that it’s enough.
It seems to work in it’s own magical way, as she slowly opens herself up to you within the next passing sixty seconds. A fleeting glance up to your face. The halt of pointless fidgeting with the fabric of her sleeve. The way she stands up straighter, her hip no longer leaning against the kitchen counter, and you find that you mirror the same movement.
She clears her throat, rubbing her nose with the knuckle of her index finger, her eyes no longer glistening with tears but the corners of them look puffy.
You glance down at your feet for a moment before inhaling deep and making eye contact with her. “Hey, listen…” you say, “I’m—…I’m really sorry…about earlier today. For overstepping about the bullying. Juno’s your daughter, and I really shouldn’t have given her advice before at least running it by you beforehand. Especially for something so sensitive.”
The delicate muscles of her brow lift in surprise at your words, lids fluttering slowly as she processes your words, and the wave of melancholy is contagious as it washes through you as well.
“I’m sorry too,” she says, “for how angry I got with you. It’s just—” she hesitates, and you see that semblance of her that you’re more familiar with. Strict, stern, rough around the edges but for a noble reason. “Y’know, with kids…we tend to get overprotective over them.” Her gaze drops to somewhere beneath yourselves as if she suddenly lost confidence in her train of thought. “I’m just trying to do the right thing for her.”
A silence settles between the two of you before you realize you ought to respond to her.
“I get it,” you finally say. “I mean—…I don’t. Because I’m not a mom. But…I’m sure that when I am one some day, I’d understand.”
She finally offers you a smile in return to your words, polite but genuine nonetheless. And a soft remnant sniffle makes her ruffle her nose.
Her expression softens, and she stares straight ahead to your collarbone rather than your eyes. “She really likes you, you know?” Sana glances up at you now. “Hasn’t stopped talking about your ‘blubbery’ pancakes since last week.”
“Aww.”
There’s a sad glint in her eyes when she turns her torso away from you slightly in resignation before some hint of optimism flashes by in her face and she turns to you again.
“Do you…think you could give me the recipe?”
You want to ask her if everything is okay. But instead, you say, “sure.”
The sound of footsteps approaching is heard near the kitchen entrance and the two of you glance in that direction to see Jun walking in. He offers you a fleeting glance before taking his place beside Sana, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling him towards her before placing a kiss on her temple and saying, “hey honey.”
You watch as she averts her gaze down to the tips of her toes.
“Feeling better?” he asks her but there’s this lack of warmth you cannot quite discern.
“Yes,” she responds, scratching at her cheek as a discreet way of getting rid of the last remaining wetness that had streamed down her face earlier.
He rubs her arm soothingly and then looks at you with a smile pressed into a firm line. “Doing alright?”
You blink at him. “Wh—…yes.”
“Say, y/n, how’s your mom doing by the way?” he asks.
“She’s…better. She’s in hospice now.”
“Palliative?”
“Well—” you say, “I guess. It’s just temporary.”
He shuffles inside the pocket of his coat and takes out something. A small card with finely printed black ink on it. He hands it to you.
“I can’t imagine how expensive that all must be,” he says, and you glance down at the card.
Carevest Capital est. 2016
Invest in a healthier you!
You glance up at Jun. Sana’s gaze has now shifted to the inside of the sink.
“I started this business,” he says, “where we’re revolutionizing the way healthcare costs are managed. In our platform, we basically invest our clients’ money into the stock market, leveraging our high-reward algorithm to maximize returns. But here’s the unique part: we partner with leading healthcare CEOs who match a portion of the profits as an incentive for stock purchases. Together, these funds go directly toward paying off hospital bills and easing related financial burdens.”
Your eyes widen at his words. The speech was practiced, one you can only assume he has pitched to many potential clientele. But there’s a hint of personable grace to it as well.
“I’m telling you, y/n, we’ve had clients who have overcome six figures of medical debt in just six months,” he says, “and you’ll only need a couple thousand dollars to start yourself up.”
You purse your lips together, your finger pinching the corner of the card. “That’s amazing, Jun.”
He smiles at you, releasing Sana’s waist. “Sorry if this kinda came out of nowhere, but I heard through the grapevine that things have been rough.”
Oh, like how your card has declined publicly at the grocery store multiple times, or how you haven’t been able to afford your insurance deductible to get that chipped off part of your bumper fixed, or the fact you haven’t paid your landscapers in over three months so your lawn now looks like a swamp? It was a small town. And people’s finances were always a topic of interest for most.
“I just wanted to offer any help I can,” Jun says.
“Thanks,” you say, returning his smile, “I’ll, um, I’ll look into it.” You push the card into your pocket.
He offers you that same firm smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes before he pulls Sana to him again, placing another kiss along her hairline and the PDA seems like overcompensation on some front from the way Sana is entirely frigid to his touch.
Maybe it was a woman’s intuition,
But you felt like something was wrong.
“Kids,” you hear Mr. Gojo’s crackly voice say as he stands leaning against the doorframe near the kitchen entrance, “let’s finish dinner?”
The three of you exchange glances before nodding and heading back towards the hall.
Your peach cobbler was apparently very good, the only thing that seemed to cut through the tension of the night. But that was the thing with family, right? You can yell and scream and cry and lecture and mope and roll your eyes at each other all you want but at the end of the day, they’re still family. Sana still seems slightly dejected though, and you can see Gojo in the corner of your eye at the table glancing up at her every other minute or so. His own way of making sure she’s doing okay, you think to yourself. Sana refuses to meet anyone’s line of sight except yours, however, which makes you feel some slight burdensome responsibility of sisterhood you had never signed up for. Nonetheless, you try to offer her a soothing smile whenever she looks up at you, and it seems to put her at ease.
The news of Sana and Jun moving seemed slightly anticlimactic, as Mrs. Gojo mentioned that they had already had an inkling that Jun and Sana would be moving closer to the city. You briefly wonder if Mrs. Gojo knew all along, but decided to make the announcement into some big affair just so that she could see her niece and nephew over a meal.
You make no more embarrassing comments. Conversation dulls into anything and everything unpersonal to you all, such as the news and weather and gossip of other people. And somewhere along the night, you relax your knee, the ball of it pressing into Gojo’s thigh underneath the table. It was wordless, innocent contact that occurs when two people become more comfortable with one another. Only excusable due to the slight buzz you felt in your veins from the wine. He’s kissed you before, yet somehow the press of his thigh against yours feels even more searing. There’s a point along the night where you tip your head to the right slightly, daringly close to resting your head on his shoulder due to the tipsy dizziness weighing in your head, and it would certainly put on a convincing show of newlywed affection for his aunt and uncle, but you manage to catch yourself. And subsequently refuse any more glasses of wine.
“Thanks for having me,” you say to Mrs. Gojo at the front entrance before she pulls you in for a hug.
“Oh, anytime dear,” she says as she gently pats your back, “please.”
When she pulls away from the hug, she holds you by your shoulders before her eyes glance down towards your left hand and the shimmering diamond that sat on the ring finger. She holds your hand in hers and lifts it to examine the twinkle underneath the lights of the chandelier.
“It really is a pretty ring,” she says, her eyes glossing over. “It looked beautiful on my sister, and it looks beautiful on you too.”
Your breath hitches slightly in your throat. “Thank you, Mrs. Gojo.”
“Please,” she says in response to the title, “Sumiko is fine.” But in less of a way in which she’s relaxing formalities, but rather in a way that acknowledges she never had the sovereignty to be called that in the first place.
You hear masculine voices approaching down the hallway as the three men make their way towards the front entrance as well. Gojo glances at you in the midst of their conversation, and he leaves the two of them to make his way over to you.
“Alright,” Gojo says, turning to face the rest of them as he stands beside you. “We’ll head out now.”
Sumiko pulls him in for a hug, then his uncle, and then obnoxiously by Jun as well. Sana fidgets with her fingers as she remains at the end of the line, and you catch a glimpse of surprise on her face when Gojo pulls her in for a hug too. You see him whisper something to her, and it’s only after she hears what he said that she returns the hug and wraps her arms around him as well.
You’re jolted out of your people-watching trance when Gojo walks up to you and takes your hand in his, shoving his other in his pocket. You glance down at the sight, the way his large hand engulfs your own. It’s warm in a firm hold, delicately squeezing your hand once right before you feel the cold air behind you when his uncle opens the door.
Well, you survived. That’s what you think to yourself as you sit in the passenger seat of Gojo’s car, watching the city lights twinkle as you two drive by. You don’t know what you were expecting. Drama? Ease? Tension? For a piece of the sky to fall and land on the roof? There was a part of you that wanted to impress. You want to be one of those daughter-in-laws that the in-laws just adore. You know, where they’re like, god am I so happy that she’s a part of the family now! The one that the mother-in-law is just so ecstatic to know that her son managed to hold down such a catch.
But any expectations and pressure dissolve with the reminder that this is all fake. Fake, fake, fake. And you’d do really well to remind yourself of that reality whenever you spent time with Gojo. Whenever you find yourself acclimating into his life for even a moment, just remember that it’s fake. Can you have a little fun here and there? Sure. Will you probably find yourself in even stranger situations going forward? Yes, because, well, that’s how life is. But it’s just fake. No obligations, no responsibility, nothing. Nada. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
But as you walk through the front door, staring straight ahead into the dark house at Gojo’s back as he sets down the keys by the foyer table, and even as you follow him further into the house towards the kitchen, that feeling inside you surges.
A woman's intuition.
That something between Jun and Sana was wrong.
Not just routine marital issues,
Or the occasional argument,
Something worse. Something dangerous.
And it’s not something you would ever expect a man to pick up on, even Gojo.
Because it was from the way Sana’s eyes silently communicated with you from across the table,
Something so subtle, a silent plea across a shared dimension,
That she needed help.
“Hey…” you speak up softly, standing in front of the fridge.
Gojo glances over his shoulder at you from the other side of the kitchen island, barely illuminated by the moonlight through the windows. He turns to face you. “What’s up?”
You blink at him.
“Um, I really don’t want to overstep again, but—”
There’s a sobering thought that flashes through your mind when you recall that you have never seen yourself as the hero in anyone’s story.
Simply because you could never, ever, ever trust yourself.
You could never trust your feelings or your decisions.
Because you cosigned on hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical loans. Because you stuck around for five years with a man that didn’t love you anymore. Because you still feel naive enough to believe that your best friend who betrayed you still misses you somehow. Because you still foolishly believe your mother will be around to hold her grandchildren someday.
Because you thought that your best bet in order to pull yourself out of hell was to fake marry a man,
And then act as if it’s all real when his aunt looks you in the eye with bittersweet tears as you now wear her bereaved sister’s ring in honor, entirely unaware it was actually being worn in vain.
How could you ever trust your judgement when you behave this way?
Never the hero. If anything, the villain.
“What is it?” Gojo repeats when he sees that you’ve been silent for too long. He tilts his head at you, his hair falling over his forehead haphazardly and he runs a hand through it to try to get it out of his face. Even in the dim light, his eyes shine a breathtaking blue.
You swallow hard.
“Um,” you say, and then glance down at the wetness you find at your heel. “The, um, the fridge is leaking again.”
He blinks at you for a solid ten seconds, and then the tension in his shoulders drops when he sulks and closes his eyes with exhaustion and defeat.
“Fuck. Okay.”
.
.
.
[end of chapter 5]
a/n. looool i really keep thinking i can post shorter chapters and them bam they be 10k+ words. but i swearrr it's just cuz i be yapping :(( anywho hope you enjoyed this chapter!! a lot of characters were kinda introduced and mm given a bit more depth in this chapter. sorry there wasn't as much romance or anything in this one though haha there will be more in the next one :0 big big thank you to my lovely ihm beta readers ayelin, jules, leni & mirl for helping me out w this chapter!! i believe i may have mentioned this before but i STRUGGLLEEEE with multi-character scenes (i'm much more comfy writing scenes that just have back n forth between two characters) so this chapter was challenginggg esp the whole dinner sequences and there were also a lot of complicated feelings at play, descriptions, stuff i wasn't sure if it was coming off the right way (and tbh am still not sure haha) but they really helped me work my thoughts out n gave wonderful suggestions too so tysm :'') much loveee!! hope to see you all in the next one <3 - ellie
➸ you're all caught up!
🏷️: @joemama-2 @sashisuslover @satorugirlie @slut-4-gojo @pickuptruck01
@gojodickbig @ayelindraws @ducky1232 @suguruslovedoll @bloopsstuff
@electrckchild @thegreatandlvable @anujah9 @lavender-hvze @cactisjuice
@crematedstar @yoongiboonhi @sxnkuna @allebazy @um-no-ok
@tofumiao @strawberrygirl0 @chiyokoemilia @xd3pr3ss3dx @ackermendick
@blueberry19000 @toffeebrat @mtsyik @sleepydumbassworld @4y3sh4
@crustykuki @celestialforce @mrswanggae @coolwitchtree @samistars
@imasexy-buffalo @erencvlt @satorubluu @fangirlingtod3ath @readerg77
@fiftyfeetstrawberryparfait @thegreatandlvable @ssetsuka @sexys-archives @astrokenny
@crustykuki @kristinering-actress @jaegersity @bbyxxm @zelzablues
note. i'd recommend subscribing to the fic on my ao3 so you can get email notifs :) tumblr taglist is based on interacts; please do not ask me/pressure me for updates or ask me when i am going to next update (read rules)
taglist is closed
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#jjk gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#smut#fluff#angst#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo x you#long fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk series#romance#fake dating#fake marriage#neighbors au#ongoing series#humor#slow burn#mutual pining#enemies to lovers#gojo x reader series
704 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you please do a hc of the guys helping you out after you come home tipsy(or drunk) from a girls night?
𝙿𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜
The lads men taking care of you after a girls night out. You came home drunk and you woke up with the worst hangover known to man. A/N: for this we’re going full messy drunk okay? great. cw: mentions of vomit/puke
𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎
[Coming home]
he picked you up after you drunk dialed him
drove on side roads so he could go slower so you wouldn’t get motion sickness
keeps your hair out of your face while you puke
listens to you ramble on and on about handsome he is and reminds you that you’re already dating him when you ask if he’s single
dodges you every time you try to kiss him in your drunken state ; does not care how fussy you get
let’s you hang on him like a koala while he removes your makeup and runs you a bath
tucks you into bed and holds you while you sleep
[The hangover]
has been checking on you periodically while you were passed out asleep the second you start to stir he grabs water and pain meds for your headache
in full doctor mode ; not gentle at all making you down two pills and a glass of water
left a trash can by the bed for you incase you vomitted overnight
spoons feeds you ginger chicken soup so you’re not digesting pain meds on an empty stomach ; doesn't leave until the whole bowl is gone
makes you lay on your side when you fall back asleep ; he doesn’t want you to choke one your own vomit
rubs your back while giving you a small lecture about drinking too much
𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕
[Coming home]
teases you about how you can’t hold your liquor
helps you take off your heels/shoes when you come stumbling through the door
picks you up carries you through the house while rubbing your back
is blushing furiously from your shameless flirting in your drunken state
sits you on the counter and holds your chin while he wipes your makeup off
finds it funny when you get fussy while he’s trying to take care of you “you’re so adorable”
strips you out of your current outfit and puts you in one of his shirts “You look better in my clothes anyway”
cradles you in his arms and has a trash can within reach if you have to puke
[The hangover]
has you laying on him while he reads a book when you wake up “good morning cutie does your head hurt?”
teases you again before kissing your forehead offering to get you food
“Come on you need a shower” carries you to the bathroom and showers with you ; dresses you in another one of his shirt again “you should just wear my clothes”
washes your face for you “I can do it Raf!” “I know you can, but let me take care of you”
wraps you up in the blanket like a burrito and carries you into his studio so he can keep an eye on you while he paints
gives you pain meds for your headache and orders or makes you whatever you want to eat
tells you all about your shameless flirting while you were drunk ; over exaggerates how he had to fight you off because you wanted him so bad
ends up laying on the couch with you instead of working on any of his projects
𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛
[Coming home]
woke up from his sleep when he heard you fumbling with the front door lock
fell to the floor with you on top of him when you stumbled through the door
concerned with how much you drank “Did you overdue it?” ; your giggles gave it away
is half sleep while he sits you on the counter and wipes your makeup off ; is unbelievably gentle while he does this
sits on the floor of the bathroom with you while you throw up ; stays like this with you until you start dozing off
rubs your back and wipes your mouth for you
grips you by the chin and lets you lean against him while he brushes your teeth
strips you down to your underwear and when you get too fussy for him he just lets you lay down like that
[The hangover]
is sitting up in bed when you wake up and immediately drags you into the shower ; towel dries you ; dresses you in his clothes and puts you back in bed
offers to cook you something ; orders takeout after the look you gave him
gives you pain meds after you get something in your stomach
lazy day with Xav naps, naps, and more naps
lazes around in bed all day with you
gets up to get you anything you ask for
𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜
[Coming home]
it’s night time so you know he’s in his element when you call him to come get you ; your night is ending and his day is just starting
picked you up from your girls night out ; promised to send Luke and Kieran for your car when you started throwing a fit about it
carries you bridal style through the house
already had a bath ready for you ; strips you out of your clothes and puts you in the tub
wraps you in a warm towel ; sits you on the counter ; puts your bonnet on you(or ties your hair back) ; wipes your makeup off and washes your face
doesn’t care how fussy you get when he’s trying to brush your teeth for you ; holds you in place with his evol “ahm roking(im choking)!” “You’re not choking sweetie spit”
lets you sleep in his lap and doesn’t care if you drool on him
[The hangover]
canceled everything to take care of you
him and the twins are at your beckoned call especially Sylus of course
gives you scalp massages
brings you a menu of foods that are good for hangovers ; watches you eat ; encourages one more bite before giving you some pain killers
teases you about your bratty fits you threw while you were drunk “it’s not that funny” “You’re adorable when you try to act angry” “im not acting!” “Whatever you say Princess”
if you have any body aches he’s giving you a massage
sits in bed with you letting you take naps on him ; once again he doesn’t mind you drooling on him
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#lads#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds#lnds xavier#lnds zayne#lnds rafayel#l&ds rafayel#l&ds xavier#l&ds zayne#l&ds sylus#l&ds#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
450 notes
·
View notes
Text
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ PERFECT LIFE 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀
☆ ── 𝘗𝘈𝘐𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎 : Yandere Damian Wayne x Fem Reader
☆ ── HEADCANON : 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥?
☆ ── NOTE : 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!
Marriage with Damian Wayne is not a fairytale—it’s an obsession disguised as devotion.
From the moment Damian slipped that ring onto your finger, he silently swore to himself that no force in the world—be it man, god, or monster—would ever take you away from him. You are his, and he is yours. Completely.
Damian is the kind of husband who worships you in his own intense, borderline overbearing way. He refers to you as "beloved" in private and "my wife" with a possessive pride when speaking to others. The word "you" leaves his lips like a prayer, filled with reverence and authority all at once.
He memorizes every single one of your habits and preferences. He knows how you take your coffee, the exact temperature you prefer for your showers, the kinds of books you gravitate toward, and even the way your breathing changes when you're upset. It’s all cataloged in his mind so he can anticipate your every need before you even voice it.
Damian rarely lets you out of his sight. Even when he's at Wayne Enterprises or patrolling Gotham as Batman, his mind is constantly on you. He has cameras in the house to check in on you, and you can bet he’s hacked your phone to keep tabs on your location. He tells himself it’s for your safety, but the truth is he can’t bear the thought of not knowing where you are.
You’ve noticed how Damian often hovers. At first, it felt sweet—your husband leaning against the kitchen counter, silently watching as you cook dinner. But after a while, you realize it’s less about affection and more about possessiveness. He watches you like a hawk, as if ensuring you’ll never slip away from him.
Damian is fiercely protective, to the point of paranoia. You’ve never had to lift a finger in defense because he handles every perceived threat with ruthless efficiency. Some guy at work who got a little too friendly? Fired and blacklisted within the week. A stranger who made you uncomfortable in public? Let’s just say they’ll think twice before crossing anyone again.
He insists on walking you everywhere, hand firmly clasped around yours. When you protest, he coolly reminds you, "The streets of Gotham are not safe, beloved. Allow me this privilege."
Damian is terrifyingly romantic in the most intense, Damian Wayne way possible. He fills your home with rare flowers imported from across the globe, but you’ll find out later he had the entire shipment rerouted because he didn’t want anyone else to have them. He writes poetry about you in Arabic, his handwriting bold and precise, and hides the pages in places he knows you’ll find them.
Arguments with Damian can be draining because he does not let go. He won’t shout or lose his temper, but he will dissect the situation until you either agree with him or admit defeat. And if you try to storm off mid-fight? Good luck. He’s faster, stronger, and determined not to let you leave unresolved.
His softer moments are almost disarming. You’ll catch him staring at you when you’re reading or brushing your hair, and he looks so boyish and in love that it takes your breath away.
Damian is obsessed with physical contact. Whether it’s his hand resting on the small of your back, his arm draped over your shoulders, or his fingers intertwined with yours, he’s always touching you. It’s both grounding for him and a subtle way to remind himself—and everyone else—that you’re his.
Your wardrobe slowly changes under Damian’s influence. He loves seeing you in luxurious silks and soft cashmere, claiming you deserve only the finest. He buys you dresses and jewelry that scream wealth and power, though he always insists that nothing could ever truly compare to your beauty.
He doesn’t tolerate secrets between you two—at all. If you’re upset, he’ll press and press until you spill your feelings, his voice gentle but firm. And if you ever lie to him? He’ll know instantly. He won’t get angry, but his silent disappointment will cut deeper than any words ever could.
Damian spoils you to the extreme, but there’s an undertone of control in it. He doesn’t say it outright, but you know he expects a certain level of reciprocation: your attention, your love, your time.
When he sleeps (if he sleeps), his arm is always around your waist. If you ever wake up in the middle of the night and try to leave the bed, he’ll instinctively pull you back, murmuring, “Stay with me, habibti.”
Despite his obsession, Damian loves you deeply and wholeheartedly. In his own way, he truly believes he’s doing what’s best for you—protecting you, cherishing you, making you feel adored. And in those quiet, tender moments when he presses a kiss to your forehead and whispers how much you mean to him, you can’t help but believe it too.
But deep down, you know: Damian doesn’t just love you. He owns you. And he will never let you go.
ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴꜰʏʀᴇ: ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ.
#🕊️. dc comics#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#damian wayne x y/n#yandere damian wayne#damian wayne x you#damian x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne x female reader#yandere damian x reader#yandere male#yandere#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere headcanons#yandere dc x reader#dc x female reader#yandere dc#dc x reader#dc comics
704 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Want You So Bad
AKA the time you got tired of waiting. Based off of I Want You So Bad by Heart. Pairing: Steve Harrington x bassist!reader Word count: 1.5K Warnings: Sugar is uncharacteristically soft for a man.
Two dates. You've been on two dates with Steve and he's been perfect.
On your first one he took out to dinner. A fancy restaurant that you would never take yourself to. Steve insisted you order whatever you want, when you blushed at the price he just brushed you off.
"Steve this is...very expensive."
"You deserve expensive."
You learned a lot about Steve across the fancy table cloth. He's witty, he doesn't flinch when you bite back at a quip. Which you found undeniably attractive. Excluding Buckley, one of his closest friends is a high-schooler, Dustin, who you've heard about through Eddie. He calls him a dork, and a nuisance. The way he smiles when talking about how 'annoying' it was when Dustin and his friends would make him sneak them into the theater lets you know he loves the kid. When you ask about his parents he dodges the question. You don't press, but you can only assume he isn't close with them. You find yourself sad when he asks about you, just because you want to know so much more about him. You want to know what his favorite songs are, what side of the bed he sleeps on, how he takes his coffee, what he was scared of as a child. You want to know exactly how many moles he has and what his hair would feel like if you were to run your hands through it.
He said all the right things. Asked the prefect questions and clung to every word you said. Opened every door for you, he even let you pick what tape you wanted to listen to in the car! Then, he walked you to your door, and kissed you on the cheek. Which was sweet! At the time you assumed it meant he wasn't just looking for a hookup.
Then the second date came around. You walked around town, and went to the record store. You shared headphones in the listening booth. He listened to your favorite albums, never said an ill word about them even though you could tell he wasn't particularly enjoying Metallica. He even bought a Zeppelin tape to play in the car for you. Afterwards, he drove you home, walked you to your door with an arm around your waist, and he kissed you. On your cheek. Again.
You'd be lying if you said you weren't starting to feel frustrated. After he left, you freaked out for about an hour. It made you feel silly, and ridiculous because it’s just not something you do! You’ve never let yourself lose sleep over a guy. Then again you’ve never liked someone the way you like Steve.
He's sending every signal that he's into you, but why won't he just kiss you? Steve doesn't have the reputation of a guy who takes things slow. It’s hypocritical of you. You know better than to base his actions off of who he used to be. Yet, there’s this ridiculous part of you that likes him so much you can’t help but overthink every single move he makes, or doesn’t make. Was he not as into you as you thought? Maybe he wasn't looking for a relationship? Maybe he's just a really...attentive friend?
You plagued yourself with doubts until he called you up and asked you if you wanted to go see a movie. You said yes, obviously. How else are you supposed to figure out if he’s trying to be more than friendly with you?
So now you're standing in front of your mirror wondering if you should wear jeans or a skirt. You hate that the question of what he would like most even crosses your mind.
When he knocks at your door you almost trip over your feet as you rush to open it and you have to take a moment to get your shit together.
Your hands shake as you grab the handle and open the door.
The cold autumn air hits your face as you swing it open. It works in your favor as it cools your flushed face when you see Steve. His hair looks as perfect as always. His sweater wraps around his arms in a way that makes you feel warm inside. You feel jealous of it as you wish you could wrap yourself around them like it does. Worst of all he smiles at you, and seems so genuinely happy to see you. Friends don’t do that right?
“Hey.”
You gasp for air. “Hi!”
This is ridiculous. You sound more excited than you’d like to. Any air of mystery you wanted to keep is gone.
“Uh- let me just grab my shoes I’ll be out in a second.”
“Take your time, I’m in no rush.”
You quickly lace up your boots. The door stays open and you try not to fumble over your laces as you feel Steve’s gaze on you. When you stumble onto your feet and walk out towards him, he lays his hand on the small of your back as you lock your door.
You try to ignore the shiver that crawls up your spine but it’s impossible when you can feel his warmth pressed against you and the smell of his shampoo reaching your nose. Even the hairspray isn’t enough to turn you off, everything about him is intoxicating. Dizzying. He makes you feel so foggy it’s embarrassing.
“This is a really nice sweater.”
His hand dips to the hem, he fiddles with it as he speaks. “It’s soft.”
You turn your face him, he doesn’t move his hand.
“Thanks.”
His lips quirk up as he tugs at your sweater to guide you to the car.
You’re so fucked.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
He insisted he didn't mind sharing a straw, and put his arm around your shoulder. He leaned in and whispered soft jokes and comments about the movie in your ear and you felt his arm tense up when you giggled at his words. An attentive friend doesn't do that.
A friend doesn't tell you he doesn't want you to go home yet. He doesn't play Heart in the car while he drives you both to lovers lake. He sure as hell doesn't look at you like that when you're talking.
“What?”
He shrugs. “Nothing.”
You give him a disbelieving look. “You’re looking at me weird.”
“I’m just looking at you. Nothing weird about it.”
You lean against the headrest facing him. You smile at him like you did when you first met him. Hoping to make him blush the way he did then. “You’re looking at me like you like me or something.”
“I do like you…or something”
His words are quiet. If you weren’t listening so intently you might have missed them as they flew under the music from the radio. His car is warm, the heat is on and you can still smell popcorn on him. He’s so close but not close enough and the way the moonlight hits his face makes you desperate to touch him.
“Then why haven’t you kissed me?”
There it is. It’s too dark to see him blush, but you see the way his shoulders tense. He looks down and cowers into himself. He’s so curious to you. He can be so sure of himself, so cocky. He’ll grab at your clothes and whisper sweet nothings to you in the dark of a theater. Yet, the moment you force him out of that shell he turns so shy.
“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. He chuckles and you see his fingers start to fidget against his steering wheel.
“I just- I wanted to earn it I guess.”
“I think you earned it the moment you called me sweet Steve.”
He looks up at you then. His fingers tense around the steering wheel again and his gaze gets so intense you hold your breath. It must have been seconds but it feels like ages when he leans in. He hovers, and you can feel his eyelashes kissing your cheeks.
Suddenly. You feel like yourself again, and you reach your hand up to the back of his head. His hair feels just as soft as you imagined it between your fingers as you pull him in. His lips are soft against yours and you feel him gasp softly as you press against him. His hand finally leaves the wheel and lands on your thigh. It sends sparks through you as he digs his fingers softly into the flesh there. Not intrusive or invasive, almost like he’s trying to keep himself grounded.
You never believed people when they said they felt fireworks when they kissed. You don’t now. Kissing Steve is tender. It feels more like a bonfire after you’ve been in the snow too long. It envelops you like a weighted blanket and you curse whatever power created you to need oxygen to survive when you have to pull away for air.
His hand travels up to cover yours behind his head. He holds it there, like he’s scared you’ll pull away.
“Have I earned another one yet?”
Friends definitely don’t ask that.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
a/n: Sugar and Steve are so back. This was shorter than I wanted it to be but I’ll have my asks open for anyone who wants to send in requests or questions. I’m so thankful for everyone who shared their support for my last post! This is a project I want to continue and expand and I would love to hear from y’all:)
the images used are from Pinterest once again!
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#corroded coffin#steve harrington au#stranger things au#steve harrington imagine#stranger things fic#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fluff
137 notes
·
View notes
Note
How would the farm brothers react if reader was an artist or if they liked to sing and they caught them singing to themselves while they worked?
If reader enjoyed singing (feat. the dogs)
Lucas’ ears perked up. He’d picked up on a strange sound- number of sounds, if one wanted to be specific. The were muffled and he couldn’t hear them clearly but it was definitely human speech. Had someone managed to get into the farm? Why had the dogs not warned them? Godamnit, they would have to be trained again and should be prepared to lose their treat privileges.
The young man put down the hammer he was working with. Both him and Weston had agreed it would be best to reinforce the walls of the barn.
Despite there being little to no chance they’d get out or even get very far, the brothers couldn’t risk anyone getting lose.
If it was an ordinary citizen they would be easily driven away or..taken care of- if that’s what it takes. However, should it be an officer there were chances of real trouble. Before Lucas took another step in the direction of his brother, he cast the hammer a second glance. Thoughful for a moment, he picked it up again. It was sturdy in his calloused hands. It felt safe. It felt right. You can never be too careful, after all.
He quickly went to find his brother. Weston’s back was turned to him whilst he was chopping wood. He made it seem so easy; only one swing and the log fell into two distinct pieces. A small bead of sweat rolled down Weston’s forehead. One might say ‘oh, so he is human after all. See, he sweats!’ , but Lucas knew how long he’d been out there and it wasn’t until now a sign of exhaustion showed.
“Weston!” He said alarmingly. The older brother looked up from his work, a worried expression taking over his once neutral face. “I heard talking, I thinks someone’s at the farm- near the main house.”
Weston’s whole body tensed up. “Where is (Y/n)?”
Oh no. In the past he was always used to going directly to his brother if he suspected the slightest thing. It was so far drilled into his mind you could call it an instinct. He had done it so many times he didn’t think at all of the little woman they’d made part of their family. She was so fragile compared to them, how would she be able to fare on her own.
The two of them immediately rushed to where Lucas had heard the sounds(Weston also had the notion of bringing his working tool). The closer they got, the clearer the noise got. Eventually they realised it was song. Someone was singing. If they hadn’t been so focused on finding their beloved and ridding their home of the intruder, they would have stopped to consider how wonderful it sounded.
As they got near the source, both realised the voice was actually somewhat familiar. Very familiar, in fact. They slowed down and peeked around the corner.
On the porch of the main house sat you. You had this calm aura around you and a bright smile. You were the one singing. The song was light and happy, just like you. Clearly, the farm dogs were feeling it too because they were simply melting in your hands. You gently took one’s head in your palms and massaged its face. You chuckled and gave it a kiss. The dog happily wagged its tail at the gesture and licked you on the cheek in return.
So the pups were the ones you were singing for.
The Callaghan brothers instantly relaxed. Great, there were no danger. Weston gave Lucas a slight glare, who responded with a nervous laugh.
“Sorry. I-I haven’t heard her sing before and it was actually from a distance! You can’t fault me for making a mistake.” He quickly excused himself and went back to work. He felt a chill down his back and as he walked, he could stil feel his older brothers stink eye following him.
Weston sighed when lucas was out of sight. What an idiot. It seemed like they’d gotten worked up over nothing. He looked over at you once more before leaving to continue his labour. You were so beautiful as you sat there in the afternoon sun, playing with the dogs. Now you had started on a new song and some of the pups were becoming jealous with the amount of attention the other one was getting.
Weston smiled to himself. Perhaps he’d get you to sing in front of him live one day.
#yandere imagines#kyseya oc#yandere male#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#yandere x reader#kyseya’s dungeon#yandere#possesive#weston callaghan oc#the Callaghan brothers#yandere farmer brother#yandere farmer brothers#farmer yandere#yandere farmers#Lucas Callaghan#yandere scenario#male yandere#Weston Callaghan x reader#Lucas Callaghan x reader
64 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! Request for Duke Crocker please
"Why am I the only one naked right now?"
❤️
Tagging: @kmc1989 @of-mice-and-mirth @magic-multicolored-miracle @itsdanajane16 @trublu2u
Companion piece to:
Death In A Tarot Card - Duke learns his fate.
You aren’t in bed when Duke wakes up, he doesn’t hear your footsteps on the deck, or feel your presence in the room. Something has shifted he thinks, he isn’t sure what but he can feel it in the depths of his soul as he pushes himself up from the mattress.
He finds you in the galley, sitting at the small table by the porthole. Your hands are wrapped around a mug of Earl Grey tea as you stare out of the window at the sea as it laps against the starboard side of the Rouge.
"Why am I the only one naked right now?" He asks you as he leans in the doorway, the sheets gathered around his hips.
You sigh before you remove the two tarot cards out of your bag, setting them down on the table in front of him. His chest tightens as he looks down at them, your fingers tracing over the Death card.
“Did you ask me to marry you because you love me?” You ask him as you push it towards him. “Or because you found out you wouldn’t be here in a couple of months?”
“Why can’t it be both?” He asks you, his dark hair falling across his features as his eyes meet yours. “I’ve been carrying that ring around for weeks waiting for the right time and then it turned out there might not be one.”
“So your reaction to finding out you’re going to die is to come home, propose to me, fuck me stupid and then get up and resort to do the same thing all over again.” You say, your fingertip tapping on the Death card.
“I don’t want to die.” He tells you frankly. “But if these are my last days, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than inside that sweet pussy of yours, making you say my name.”
Your cheeks colour then and he really hopes that this isn’t one of the last times he gets to see you blush.
“If you’re serious about marrying me, I want to do it today.” You tell him as you push your own card forward.
It’s the Lovers.
A man that looks like him, holding a woman that looks like you. He’s seen this card a thousand times since the two of you got together, always sandwiched between the pages of a book. He can’t believe he’s never noticed the resemblance until now.
“I want to honeymoon in Cape Breton.” You continue as he picks up the card and stares at it. He notes the rings on their fingers, wedding bands he realises. “I want to make love in that little bed and breakfast we found in Nova Scotia, to see the Northern Lights, experience that magic with you…”
You trail off then because what you’re reciting, that’s his bucket list, the one he whispers to you in the dead of night.
“Today then.” He says, his voice rough as sets the card back down upon the table. “We’ll get married today.”
Love Duke? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Before you join the taglist make sure to read the rules here as you otherwise you won't be added.
Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
♡ It's The Most Wonderful Time-out! ♡
A/N: is this late? 100% but it's time for some CHRISTMAS HYBRID TIMEEEEE!!! A HUGE thank you for the patience from my amazing sunshine anon for this commission <3 Personally I think the title is hilarious, do- do you get it- the most wonderful time of the year- plz laugh-
Warnings/content: 2nd person (you/yours), fem pup hybrid reader, puppy's first Christmas! Grumpy ol' man Vendetta Leon, Leon is referred to as daddy! Reader in time-out, visiting the hybrid park, angst and fluff, mentions and descriptions of gore, all gets resolved in the end!
Word count: 7,430 approx.
┈•┈┈•┈୨୧┈•┈┈•┈
┈•┈┈•┈୨୧┈•┈┈•┈
December 23rd
Time out. Oof, those words. They were enough to take the swing right out of your tail.
This definitely wasn’t your fault. On the scale of 1-10 you’re like, a -5 when it comes to being in trouble. Totally. It wasn’t your fault it had rained, or your fault you wanted to jump in the the new layer of snow and got all wet and muddy, the only part that might have potentially, potentially been on you was tracking said mud and sleet through the living room. The living room rug to be exact. The rather expensive, difficult to clean because daddy sometimes ‘truly can’t be fu- bothered’ rug. That was the one rule; he could deal with mess on the floorboards, the tiles, but not the carpet. The stains were just too hard to get out.
Leon could handle dirt and grime absolutely, he’d take it over guts and gore any day of the week, public holidays and Christmas included. But coming home from work after a long day, hands stinking of gunpowder and grease, only to find muddy streaks and pawprints all over the rug was his last straw. The coffee machine in the office had been broken, his magazine clip had taken three different attempts to click into place despite the million times he’d done it before, and the armoury’s practice range had been down for maintenance. This was just the gasoline flavoured icing on his flambe flaming shit excuse for cake.
Woosh. Fire.
So, there you were. Plopped back into your pen, favourite squeaky toy just out of reach sat beside Leon’s chair as he scrolled through whatever’s on his phone. Teddy was right there, all worn out fluff and stringy neck ribbon, you were being taunted! This was torture, punishment of
the worst degree. The only thing that would make it even more awful was going to bed without a kiss goodnight. But even Leon wasn’t that cruel.
Don’t get it twisted, he was feeling guilty about this too. The face you made when he walked through the door told him plenty. Big, round eyes, head bowed and tail anxiously thumping. You knew you’d gotten carried away. But you also knew better. And it’d been so long since he actually disciplined you. This was long overdue, half chewed toys left sopping wet in the bath after tub time, weeks of chased squirrels and rabbits, staying up way past your set bedtime. This was what really sealed the deal though. So, you do the time, you do the crime.
Even now he could feel your eyes boring into the back of his head, like two teary, glossy lasers set to melt his old hardened heart. Every half-hearted thump of your fluffy tail, every scuttle of your nails against the floorboards as you got comfortable, every tiny whimper you seemed hesitant to let out. Not to mention your poor attempts at being ‘completely and totally cool’ with your timeout since he often caught you staring up at him through the bars, eyes following each swipe of his fingers over his phone screen. And when he craned his neck to check on you, you were swiftly looking in the opposite direction, swearing you weren’t just tracking each of his movements. How couldn’t you though? You were obsessed with your owner, Leon was your daddy at the end of the day no matter how many play pens or crates he had to put you in so you’d behave.
His poor princess. You were killing him, really. He’d survived well over 15 years of bioterrorism just to die at the hands of his pup-hybrid’s big wet pathetic gaze. Could flood a village with the amount of tears you shed a week, but he loves you and that tender heart of yours.
The real question was how much longer could either of you take? Leon knew it was a ‘you do the crime, you do the time’ type of deal, but was this truly teaching you anything other than how to master your pouty bottom lip? You’re his favourite fluffball, fuzzed up and huffy, chuffing and rolling over onto your back like you’re ready to play dead if it gets you out.
And honestly? He was caving. He was only a man after all.
You’d softened him, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Three years ago he’d have scoffed at the thought of even owning a hybrid, let alone being this attached. But now you were glued to his side. Now he just felt like an old man, worn and tired, your sunshiney attitude and warmth had thawed through him like no heater had. He’d been frostbitten before meeting you, whether he’d known it or not.
He couldn’t bear it. Yeah, time was up.
So his heavy footsteps muffled through socks padded across the floorboards to you, although you tried to act like you didn’t care (and failed miserably). It was pretty obvious how much this mattered to you, because your tail was whipping something fierce, so hard it had your hips wiggling.
“C’mon, darlin’. Think you’ve learnt your lesson.”
Those big eyes pierced his very being and soul as you gazed up at him from behind your lashes, ears all floppy and face streaked with past tear tracks. God, you’d been crying over this too? Might as well just rip his heart from his chest and stomp on it.
Even as he turned around and sat back down on the couch, looking over to you expectantly, you seemed to hesitate at first. Glancing at the spot where the rug had once sat in the centre of the living room, right in front of the coffee table, with guilty furrowed brows. Then it was back to looking at Leon, back to melting him with those heartbreaking watery eyes.
“Oh, my sweet puppy.” He couldn’t help but croon as you made guilty little steps over to him, every tap of your feet filled with shame, tail swaying with embarrassment. You were a walking heap of emotions, and he was ready to scoop you up and put you back together. “Here she comes, there we go. Tough day for our girl.”
You’d missed it, oh how you’d missed it. At your heart you truly were just a puppy, in need of the loving praise and sweet words that only he could provide. You weren’t the mushiest pup in the litter, but there was nothing like a good hug from your daddy. That much was clear from the way you melted into Leon’s body as soon as you were sat in his lap, your tail thumping delightfully against his knees while you burrowed into him. Paws kneading his shirt so you nestled into him just right.
“I know it was rough, honey. M’ sorry. But sometimes daddy has to discipline you, y’know?” the thick pad of his thumb encased your chin just enough to tilt your gaze upwards, his hand sliding over the curve of your face so he could wipe your tears away. “And it hurt, didn’t it?” “Yeah..” “So next time you think about stepping on the rug with muddy feet, you’ll remember how much we both hated this, and you won’t do it, isn’t that right?” “,,Yeah.”
“That’s right, baby. My poor girl.” That last statement came out as a small sigh, rubbing the soft fuzz of your floppy ears tenderly between his fingers. Even now as he gave you a talking down your tail never stopped thumping against his leg.
No matter what, you loved him. That must’ve been why they called it puppy love. And it made his heart ache something fierce. You were too good.
Leon felt like the worst daddy in the world sometimes, he wasn’t gonna even try to lie about that. Sometimes he scratched behind your ears too hard, or you didn’t understand one of his jokes and ended up getting pouty and upset, sometimes he didn’t throw the ball right or pick out the right snacks. But all of that was nothing compared to the biggest issue.
His intoxicated escapades were at the very top of that list.
Raids of the fridge and mumbling to himself, slumping his jacket off only to pass out on the edge of his bed. Leon knew you didn’t like when he got drunk, it was probably what hurt him the most about all of it. Not the gunshots echoing through his skull when his shot glass hit the table, or the recoil of a pistol wracking his shoulder when he ran into a wall too hard.
No, it was the look on your face.
How you seemed to curl yourself back into your pen, watching with a lowered head and a hesitant gaze, tail somewhat tucked. The foggy memory of the face you pulled when he was too rough petting you or spoke too loud while sloshed. That’s what ached, what truly stung like a bitch.
He was supposed to be the one protecting you, caring for you, and because of his own problems now you’d seen a side of him he never wanted you to. He’d made your hands awaken to the crack of eggshells beneath them when you stepped towards him, you were familiar with the shell’s powdering like that of bullet sulfur, and inner yolk gold as the streaks in his hair back then. Knew of the blood that sometimes hung in the middle of it all, and in the worst scenario the curling of bones left over.
But still at the end of the night, drifting between a muddled haze of asleep and awake, he’d hear you make your way slowly towards his bed, the mattress dipping when you climbed up and curled up at the bottom of the duvet. Because, despite it all, you wanted to be close to him.
Because, despite it all, he was your person. So he dumped what he could of the remaining bottles, stashed a few shitty cans for safe keeping in case things got too hard, and stopped being a regular at Jerry’s bar.
He was doing it for you, maybe only for you.
Now he had you sat in his lap, buried in his shoulder and curling in as small as possible. Trying to become one with the skin of his arms and fabric of his shirt. You wanted to crawl up under his jacket and be carried as one with Leon, you’d do it if you could.
He had to do something.
“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” Oh, that voice. Despite the icy weather outside, despite the cold that hung in his chest from time to time, his tone always tried to be warm with you. Soft. like those mutts learning to gentle their snarls and unclench their teeth, to stop growling. He was so used to the sneering, the sarcasm, snapping when someone got too close or said the wrong thing to him. But you were so fluffy, so fuzzy to the world, so unaware and loving. So he had to wear a muzzle, and he learned how to adjust.
Why? Because he couldn’t be a violent dog if he had his very own puppy. “I dunno..”
A lopsided smile spread across his cheeks at the look on your face, chin tilted and tail squirming as you look to him. There’s still the matter of that guilt still hanging in your face, stray strands like an unruly mop of hair.
“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna squeeze ya.” While you were still processing Leon’s comforting words and the lull of his voice, he was quick to gather you in his arms and press you tight to his chest. Immediately you were bathed in the scent of his shirt, the natural smell and comfort of his body. A warm blanket of safety had been draped over your blankets in the form of his presence. He squeezed your body nice and close until you squeaked out a yapped laugh, the fluff of your ear squished against his stubbled cheek.
“Oooo, good squeeze. Get all those nasty feelings outta you.”
“Daddyyyy, you’re smooshing me!” These were the moments he really cherished, ones where your tail swung and you squirmed in his arms with that smile of yours.
“Awww, well that’s how you know that it’s a real good squeeze,” His voice waved every time he swayed you slightly from side to side, bringing bubbly giggles from your throat that drifted up into the air and popped right at his heart. “It’s like juicin’ an orange, gotta shake and twist you till you’re all better.” “I don’t wanna be juice!” You howled out playfully, throwing your head back like the dramatic little thing that you were.
“Oh you don’t huh? Then you gotta keep smiling for me baby, it's just that simple.” He pushed his cheek up against your own. God, how he loved that smile, the sound of your tail thumping across the fluff of the sleek couch. There you sat, cute as a button, curled up atop his legs and snuggled in close like the sweetest, softest stuffed animal. “Tell you what, we get you one last snack, and then we’ll tuck you in, and tomorrow we’ll go into town. Catch everything before it all closes up.”
You were already half asleep in his arms by the time he’d finished talking.
December 24th
Planning the day out was the easy part, executing it was hard. Not only because Christmas was right around the corner which came with its own chaos, but because you were- well, you. Overly loving, over committed, overly loyal and lovely you. Leon swore you must’ve been the cutest looking leech or tick in a past life.
You insisted on putting together an outfit that yes consisted of your favourite bows and daddy’s most comfiest shirt that smelled like him. But even his ‘I’ve worn the same blue shirt for 3 years’ ass could tell when things didn’t coordinate together. So he did the gentlemanly and not-wanting-you-to-look-like-a-disaster-oustide-ly thing and helped you into some cute fleecy stockings, complete with a soft sweater and your favourite skirt. Gloves of some sort were a must, you had a thing for pawing at whatever you could get your hands on no matter how cold it was, and you were in your fuzziest boots. Adorable. Like a Christmasy puffball, a fluffy ornament. All you needed was a pair of angel wings and a halo and you’d be ready for the top of the tree.
“Look at her, look at that posture and stance. Look at that trot. That’s a well trained leash dog right there.” A smirk tugged at Leon’s lips as he watched you pad in step with him, the lacy trim of your skirt swaying whenever your foot met the sidewalk. This was the very same puppy who sat staring at him from her crate with the most pitiful eyes yesterday, rolling over onto your back like you might die from lack of attention. And now you were practically skipping, a bounce to your tail with every step.
You were lucky enough to live in a small enough part of the city. Not too urban, but definitely not rural. An outskirt area that was a nice walk away from the nearest hybrid park, long enough to get you warmed up for the real fun. And even after Leon had you off the leash you were staying in step with him, glued to his side with the sweetest smile on your face. In fact it took a little coaxing and the presence of some other pups for you to finally run around.
Leon knew you could be sociable when you truly wanted to be, but even for such a smiley little thing sometimes you simply preferred his company to anyone else’s. You could be skittish, a bit shy, and it truly threw him off guard when that part of you poked its head out from behind the warm rays of sunlight that radiated from your very being. It was adorable, really. Watching you curl into his leg with a slightly swishing tail of fluff, giving a small wave only to burrow into him. But today you were doing well, today you chose to shake out your jitters. And yes, he wouldn’t admit it, but he was proud of you.
No matter how many times Leon brought you out here, letting you experience the wonders of a normal domestic life, it never stopped being nothing short of magical to watch you shine. You had this magnetic aura that always seemed to follow you around, people were drawn to you and that sunbeam that clung to the smile on your face. The warmth that you spread to those around you.
You truly were his sunshine.
“Leon?”
A voice he hadn’t heard in a few weeks thanks to his time off work caught his attention, and sure enough as he looked over his shoulder there stood Ingrid Hunnigan. Bundled up in a long overcoat with a recyclable cup in her hands, steam wafting from the lid in smooth swirls through the crisp cold air. Already her glasses seemed to be fogging up again, despite so clearly being cleaned only recently. Yeah, he didn’t realise how lucky he was to have decent vision despite all the bullshit he’d been through. Glasses on top of the trauma and broken bones might’ve done him in.
“Hunnigan? The hell are you doing out here?” It wasn’t defensive or aggressive, moreso confused. Intrigued, interested. It wasn’t often he actually saw her out and about. A little silly in all honesty for him to think that, Ingrid always had some sort of plans around Christmastime. Her holiday decorations, complete with lights and glowing reindeer atop a tiled roof, were nothing to scoff at.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen the snow in person, I figured I’d go for a walk to get a feel for it.” She shrugged, hands tucked into her pockets.
He was listening, or at least some part of him was. The other part was blurring through his peripheral vision to make out the blob of colour and wagging tail that was you balling up snow as you ducked behind a tree, playing with one of the other hybrids. If you asked anyone in his line of work, they’d say Leon is a hardass. He’s committed to his work and gets his job done, and he’s passionate about what he does whether that’s good for him or not.
But with you? With you he was just a man. Just your owner, your person. And that was such a relief.
“How’s she doing?” Ingrid asks out of habit. Every woman in the office can’t help but ask Leon about his perfect princess. And of course he laughs, shaking his head.
“Spoiled as ever. Really enjoying my time off with her.” Much needed confirmation, he knows he’d never hear the end of it if he dared tell Hunnigan about the time out incident. Best to keep it lighthearted now. Even as her face seems to.. Falter. What was that about?
“Listen, about the Phillis report..”
And then that lightheartedness was gone. If it weren’t for the icy chill that surrounded him, Leon would’ve gone a new shade of pale in the cool winter light.
It never used to bother him. It never phased him on the outside. But now? With you?
The Phillis report. A family with a hybrid that had been a target for a bioterrorism attack.
A hybrid.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw you smiling, the red tips of his ears pricking at your laughter, the soft crunch of snow beneath people’s feet feeling much louder now as they passed. Everyone’s footsteps were unique, every thud and crush that left a print. Evidence. Clues. Cases. Work.
A hybrid like you. Everything was muddling together into the nastiest shade of grey water freezing over into ice. He hated his job. If he could pull the pin on a grenade, jump on top of it and coat the walls of that godforsaken office in his blood and guts he would. Because that’s what they were asking from him. They were asking him to die for them. Jumping from subject to subject, he was playing jump rope and hopscotch with his morals and intrusive thoughts over one simple statement in the middle of the holidays. How the mighty so quickly fell beneath twinkling lights and atop brightly wrapped presents.
The pulse of his heart had managed to spike, thundering fast and heavy in his chest. Eyes half an inch wider, pupils shrunk.
It could’ve been you. It- “Please, don’t. I’m just- I’m trying to not think about all of that. Not with her here.” It came out a bit too rushed, like his body had forced each syllable from his lips to get a point across. A safety measure, a precaution for his well being.
Leon had already spent countless nights tossing and turning over the paranoia of you being caught in his work. Now it had gotten so bad that even the mention of a hybrid being involved in a case made him sick to his stomach.
Because what if that had been you?
His throat almost closed itself off to the world as he got his words out. Ingrid’s face was creased in worry at the state of him. How had one statement so quickly pulled him through a 180? “It’s our first Christmas together, I can’t ruin that. I can’t.” Swallowing felt like choking down gravel but he managed to nonetheless.
Hunnigan’s gaze softened, because she knew exactly how much it would ruin a perfectly good day if she were to stretch this out. She knew you were bouncing around somewhere without even looking for you amidst the snow and differently shaped animal ears and noses. You were the centre of Leon’s world, even if he didn’t know it. But those around him, those like her and Claire and Rebecca, could see what a difference you’d made. “I get it. Just.. don’t worry about rushing it, okay? It can wait until next year.”
“Yeah.. Yeah, thanks.” Automated. Robotic. Leon felt like he was backseating his own life as he responded, hearing Hunnigan’s shoes click as she prepared to walk back to her apartment complex. The sympathy ebbing from her expression only made him feel more sick, and yes that would’ve made him feel bad if it weren’t for him being on the brink of what was most likely a panic attack.
“Merry Christmas, Leon. Take it easy.” He couldn’t get the words out, settling for a stiff nod. Work. Work, work, work. It followed him everywhere no matter how fucking hard he tried to escape it. Think of something else, he scolded himself through the deafening heartbeat in his ears. Anything else. Think of you.
Padding your way over the snow, he watched on in an attempt to calm himself down as you bounded around the park like a bunny. Maybe a fox, the type that burrowed deep under the flurries of fresh powder with yipping laughter. All he knew was you were enjoying yourself, and that was all that mattered. That was all he focused on as his breathing steadied. With a short, still somewhat breathless whistle, your ears stood on end. Immediately your head thwipped to him, and you were merely a blur of pink and white that came scampering towards him. Yeah, that got a snort. Good. He needed to laugh more.
“There’s my girl.”
And there you were indeed, practically barrelling into his leg so he let out a hoarse ‘oof’ at the impact. Complete with a whispered “Hi daddy,’ that somehow managed to calm his heart in ways no medication or therapy could. Maybe he could start you out on service hybrid training, get you certified. Nah, you were too cuddly for that. Plus the vest would have to be pink or you just might refuse to wear it. So for now, he figured he may as well treat you.
“How about some hot cocoa, hm? You were a good girl after all, took your punishment like a champ.” Lie. Big, fat lie. If the ladies at the office ever caught word of how Leon had put you in timeout he’d be getting the most gruelling of death glares. His grave would be trampled on as they sprinted their way over to comfort you. He couldn’t really blame them, though, how could you not run someone over to pet someone as precious as you. You, currently sticking your little tongue out to catch the delicate snowflakes floating down from the sky as you approached the cafe. That’s what he had to keep reminding himself of in this moment. He did all of this for you. Trying to drown out the sinking ache in his stomach as if he’d swallowed an anvil, that son of a bitch must’ve been hidden between the bubbles of his saliva, or maybe the frost that dripped from the roof.
So yeah, he was using you as the most sweet looking distraction right now, watching your wide eyes take in the wood grain and sleek walls of the coffee shop tucked into a corner of the park. On your best behaviour as you both stood in line until you got to the register. The metal tang in the back of his throat definitely had nothing to do with the gut weight still lingering after talking to Ingrid. Nope. Must’ve been the cold.
“Yeah, can we grab one long black and one.. Hm.” For a moment Leon caught himself rethinking his decisions. Was it really the best idea to give you something that had ‘cocoa’ in the name? You guys had yet to test how you’d react to chocolate after all. Taking the time to test and breakdown what food and beverage you could eat or simply didn’t like was a meticulous process, but better safe than sorry. “Wait, that was on our testing list..”
“Daddy?” Sorry puppy, daddy’s too busy having a small crisis over whether or not you can actually drink what he was ordering for you.“Is it- It should be safe for you to have hot cocoa, right?” “Daddy.” This time it was flatter. Unimpressed.
“I mean you haven’t had a bad reaction to anything yet despite being part puppy but, it’s technically chocolate to some degree so-
“Daddy!”
The tugging at his wrist was enough to get his attention back on you, the draw of your big dewy eyes and scrunched nose luring him in like a fish to bait.
“Sorry, sweetheart.” “Turn brain switch off.”
Sometimes he thought you were pretending to be as curious and innocent as you are, because you so easily sensed when he was anxious or worried. Like an instinct. Sure, he loved you to bits, but you weren’t the brightest bulb in the- light store? Batch? He’d come up with a better analogy later. Either way, the point stood. And yet you always did that little head tilt when something seemed off. That bulb flickering to life.
“Right, puppy. Daddy’s turning the overthinking switch off.” Leon reassured as best as he could. And it seemed to satisfy. “Good daddy.”
He couldn’t help but snort again at that. “Thanks, baby.” Being praised for his minute efforts in managing his thoughts by his very own puppy hybrid. By the time you hit the register he was still smiling despite the storm in his head. “One long black and a hot cocoa, please.”
But oh, how quickly it faded into thunder clouds. Even as he gave the barista his name for the order and walked over to wait for your drinks, it lurked over him. A sickening thickness in his throat, like tar tobacco and nicotine had clogged his windpipe. He was on auto pilot when he collected the recyclable cups and placed one of them into your eager hands, not recognising his own voice as he warned you about it being hot.
Leon was stuck between reality and dissociation, his feet leading both of you on the path back home that you’d taken enough times to have memorised. And even as you blew on the surface of your cocoa through the spout of the cup’s lid, you could see it in his eyes. That distant look. Deflated, the same as when you chewed on your favourite squeaky toy too hard and it popped.
“Daddy? You’re all droopy.”
Your voice was high and puzzled, all floppy ears and arched brows in confusion. Did he not like the park? You’d had a wonderful time making snow angels and bounding through the white powder like sweet icing sugar atop a winter cake. Maybe daddies just didn’t do parks well, like how you didn’t do the vet too well.
“Sorry, sweetheart. Daddy’s just thinking about things.” It had him staring out so far his eyes hit the end of the sidewalk, through the ice and snow to the cement. One hand held your leash, the other swiping past his lips. Hoping to wipe away the residue of his frown.
It didn’t work. “But the switch..” Oh, don’t give him that tone. So heartbroken, so worried. It broke him.
“I know, I know the switch honey.” Already he was rubbing over the crease between his brows. This conversation couldn’t happen, not here and not now. “But sometimes- sometimes it’s not that simple, you know? Sometimes the switch doesn’t work.”
You supposed that made sense. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder. And pry, just a smidge. You could be a little pushy and shovey, whether you meant it or not. “Well, whatcha thinking about?”
What wasn’t he thinking about was the real question. It was all blurring together.
He simply shook his head. Made the bangs of his hair sway when he did. “Don’t worry about it, pup. It’s a conversation for another time.”
Well, that didn’t seem right to you. Usually Leon was so open with his feelings towards you, so you couldn’t help but nudge him. This time not with your nose or paw, but with your words. “But..”
And then his voice was lighter, as if he’d dropped the weight he’d been carrying over to one shoulder. Giving the illusion that things were better, that things were normal. But that shoulder still slumped. “Hey, weren’t you telling me something about Jill’s dog Carlos showing up on his own today? What was that about?”
It still dragged.
At first you were very willing to tell him, the very concept of a hybrid on their own both bewildered, confused and excited you. Carlos was a big shaggy furred fella, he always played fair and shared the good treats Jill handed out.
But you knew this tactic. It was the same as when you’d ask him questions and instead of giving you an answer he’d pick up the nearest squeaky toy and suddenly you were playing fetch instead of talking. This time you were all the wiser.
“You’re trying to distract me! I don’t get it, when people say certain things you go stiff and wonky.” You couldn’t help but frown up at him. It didn’t feel fair, not knowing these things about him. A whole year together and yet sometimes he looked more like a stranger, dodging your questions and petting your ears so you’d move on. But you weren’t expecting him to furrow his eyebrows and sigh low in his chest, the way his forehead creased and nose flared. It was the same look you got before time out, only this one seemed more defensive than the last.
“Not now, sweetheart. Please.” Leon’s tone was flat, no room for argument no matter how much your wriggled and squeezed your body between the cracks. Your tail’s wag deflated, slowing to nothing more than a slight sway. The snow felt a little colder after that.
December 30th
Christmas had been nothing short of a success in the Kennedy household, with Leon’s living room being covered in scattered wrapping paper and a whole new variety of toys in pastel colours. He was delighted. This may have been one of the few times he actually enjoyed a holiday rather than loathing it. Maybe it was because you were there, so he wasn’t spending it alone like he usually did. The way you’d spun in circles and yapped happily about it being Christmas morning.
It had been your first real Christmas ever. Your first Christmas not spent in a cage, where you got toys and ate warm meals with the man you loved, with Claire and Becca and Chris and Jill coming over for lunch under the fluorescent glow of the Christmas lights you’d insisted Leon put up. You’d sat by the tree unwrapping gifts with the fastest wagging tail Leon had ever seen, ears perked to attention and eyes wide and sparkling. He was glad, honoured really, to witness this moment of pure unbridled joy for you.
The two of you spent most if not all of Boxing Day lazing around the house in your pajamas, cuddling by the fireplace and bundling under blankets for more than a few naps. Lazy days, oh how you both loved them. Soon it was the 26th, then the 27th,so on and so on.
Now, the christmas paper had been collected, the tree’s decorations were slowly taken down in day by day intervals, and you sat politely by the glass door to the backyard watching the snow. Leon figured if there was ever a time to truly explain to you the truth behind his career, it was likely now. A tough conversation to have, but one that needed to happen. He just couldn’t leave you in the dark like this, not any longer.
“Hey, sweetheart?” “Hm?”
There it was. That innocent lilt, the curve of your neck as you craned to look at him. You were something too pure to be sitting on the floor of his home. You deserved mattress upon mattress like the princess and the pea, only he wouldn’t be an idiot like the ones in that book. Leon knew better than to leave under the bed unattended in case there were coyotes trying to nip at his sweet girl’s toes and tail.
Softening, that’s what he was doing. Cracking. This wasn’t going to end well and he knew it. “Y’know how daddy doesn’t like to talk about work?”
Uh oh, now you knew it was time for a serious talk. Not like when you dirtied the rug, this time you weren’t in trouble. Still you looked at him so gently, with such trust while that mountain of fluffy fur behind you swished. Because if it was serious, it was important. “Yeah.”
Leon patted the spot on the couch beside him, complete with a pretty pink bone print blanket for you to settle on, to which you trotted yourself over as dainty as could be. Hopping up next to him, a tail curled around your back. Getting yourself cozy under his arm with your head nestled right next to his chest. Listening to the steady thrum of his heart as his pulse picked up. Doing so much, yet so little, and it all comforted him.
It was starting to sink in. He was telling you. He was opening the casket, dragging the corpse of his past through the dirt to pose for a real, living person. How was he supposed to break this to you? How did you even word his job without saying ‘I might die one day’?
“Well, that’s cause what I do is pretty dangerous, puppy. I don’t want to worry you with all the stuff I have to do.” The violence, the bloodshed, the screaming. Flashes of red that haunted his dreams, the ones you’d nudge at his face over until he’d wake up because you heard him muttering in his sleep.
“Why?” You were so oblivious to his little inner world, the one he made sure to hide from you. The one filled with guilt and shame. He wanted to keep it that way, but what choice did he have? How could he keep you safe if you had no idea what you were being kept safe from? You should be worried about what colour skirt to wear, or if your collar matches your outfit, not this bullshit.
“Because it’s just better for you to sit and wait for me to get home at the end of the day, baby.” It was better for you to expect him home every day.
It was better for both of you if you just always thought he was coming home.
It made his heart break so hard his ribs snapped thinking about you sitting by the big bay window, tail flicking and throat weeping whimpers if he didn’t show up for a few days. Then weeks. Then eventually someone would have to take you in, pack up all your toys. They’d find the list he kept stashed on the top of the fridge just in case; instructing anyone who found you on just how you liked your food and which stories to whisper in your ear at night when the thunder got too loud.
You’d never go willingly. Someone would have to leash you and tug you out the door to their car. You’d cry. You’d cry so hard your throat would die out hoarse. It would probably be Claire or Chris or Becca picking you up, he’d have to hope. The thought of some stranger from the DSO taking you from his home, your home, the home you shared together, had him swallowing down a lump. He knew you’d never recover from it. It would shatter you, after sitting in a kennel alone for so long and finally crawling out of your shell, just to lose the person you so clearly loved more than anyone else. Fuck, Leon could feel his eyes watering.
But he couldn’t do that to you. He just couldn’t. It would be the cruelest thing in the world for him to abandon you without any choice in the matter. If he were a stronger man he’d have retired by now. But he wasn’t stronger. He had no backbone when it came to his job, the government, the United States as a whole. Some fucking hero. He was more like a lapdog, breaking his neck for a board of people who didn’t give a shit about him. Taking the scraps he was offered.
“Daddy, you’re crying..” Your sad voice pulled him back into reality, where you were now taking those soft hands of yours to wipe away his tears. Wet streaks that lined the creases forming in his scarred over skin. He was getting too old for this. Too old to be bottling up these feelings for days on end. Wearing himself down for the sake of denying what he felt.
“Fuck, sorry sweetheart. It’s just.. It’s my job to keep you safe. But it’s also my job to keep everyone else safe, too. And your daddy’s been through everything, honey. Zombies, parasites, bioterrorism, war, the whole five yards. I’ve had so many people turn their backs on me or- or look to me for help for so long that it drives me crazy to even think of you worrying about me not coming home.”
How long had it been since he’d cried? Really cried? How much more could a man like Leon take? Sure he was strong, he had to be. Built up from broken beginnings on bloodied glass, shitty past relationships and world-ending catastrophes. But he was only human for Christ’s sake.
And maybe he was finally starting to sober up to that realization.
“I always think you’ll come home..”
Of course you did. Of course you, this sweet angel of a puppy girl, looked up at him with those watery eyes filled with confidence in such a statement. As if you loved him so much it almost poured from your lash line in heart shaped droplets. You had such hope despite where he’d adopted you from. Had he done that? It was odd to think about. How someone as shitty as him (in his perspective at least) had gotten you to blossom and bloom into the sweet thing you were today.
“Yeah, why’s that honey?”
“Cause you’re Leon, and Leon is the strongest person I know.”
The weight of your head now resting against his shoulder was like an anchor that stopped Leon from washing out on the beach of his despairs. He wasn’t left to drift off into oblivion, to drown in his sorrows and regrets. He had you. You had him. A hand came out to instinctively pet over the warm fuzz of your floppy ears, and he seeked out the comfort that came with your presence.
It was comforting, the quiet. Not tense or awkward. Like the waves of the ocean sloshing to a slow and serene sway after a tsunami or a tidal wave. To know you saw him as your hero, that you held him in such high regard. It made every grey hair and creased feature feel worth it. Everything he did, he did it for you. And for once it didn’t feel like a pressure, or a burden, it was a responsibility he was glad to shoulder. Like he were your knight in shining armour.
“Why’d you never tell me you went through all that stuff?” Even now as you spoke your voice was low and soft, sweet to his ears like a drizzling of warm honey right to his cochlea. Those homemade remedies for aches and pains.
Even now he found himself chuckling to get through this, an ache in his chest with each exhale. Someone had set a cinderblock on his chest, and you were mustering up all the strength in those little paws to ease it off. “And ruin what we’ve got going on right here? I wasn’t gonna risk that.”
Apparently that was the wrong answer, because now you were perked upright with the slightest of pouts perched atop your lips. Disagreement etched into your features. “S’ not ruined, dummy. It just means I get to say I love you a whole lot more.”
Now it was his turn to snort sincerely. Always so stubborn. Adorable, sweet, but stubborn.“Oh, is that so?”
“Mhm. So when things are yuck it’ll be easier to remember that I love you. Cause I’ll say it as many times as I gotta until you believe it.”
You ruined him, and not in a bad way. You took the world’s smallest pick to the world’s coldest iceberg and chipped back his layers sliver by sliver. Sculpting him back into what he once was before the world dumped cold water onto him and froze over the softness that lay within.
Leon’s hand stroked aimlessly over the curve of your head, tracing over the edges of your hair gently. Even with the scrapes on his knuckles and bruises on his palms he always made sure to be soft with you. His voice, half cracked and brimming with affection, was quiet as he whispered back. “I love you too, puppy. You’re my best girl.”
Firewood crackled in a low, jagged white noise in the background, smoothing into a quiet simmer that cast a warm orange glow against the walls. Bathing the room in heat, one that you both let wrap around you like a safety blanket. You found haven in each other, because no matter what, you always came back to one another. Leon was your owner, after all. It was his job to ensure you had the best life, with all the comforts you could ask for and then some.
And he planned to do just that. Whether it meant dumping out all the alcohol in his house or not.
“So.. Do I get more presents?” It’s a teeny voice against his shirt that had him tilting his chin down to look at you.
“Well no puppy, the next holiday is New Years Eve. We don’t give presents then, only Christmas.” A pretty straight forward explanation, or at least that’s what it felt like to him.
“Why?” Another chirp.
His brow arched. “Cause Christmas is only once a year, sweetie.”
“Why?” And another. “Okay, we’re not starting this.”
God, just wait until you find out about birthdays. Then he’s done for.
Like my work? Consider supporting me with a commission or buying me boba! :D
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon s. kennedy#resident evil x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon x reader#x reader#resident evil#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon s. kennedy x reader#leon s. kennedy x you#leon kennedy x yn#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy fanfiction#hybrid#leon scott kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x yn#leon s kennedy x yn#leon s kennedy x y/n
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
RIIZE MTL ☆ who can stay as fwb
most likely
seunghan ☆ he likes to keep his options open anyway, so this works for him really well. he’s good at viewing sex as only sex, without attaching any deeper meaning to it. he’s really good at maintaining the friendship and would be down to hang out outside the bedroom, like, you would truly just be a couple of besties who occasionally get freaky together. can act jealous but it’s just a cute act, he doesn’t care
sohee ☆ also very good at not attaching deeper meaning to sex, he really views it as you and him blowing off some steam. he’s not cold by any means, in fact he’s very sweet in-between your rendezvous, isn’t afraid to ask you to stay a bit longer and order in some food or watch a movie, keeps things very platonic and doesn’t enforce any romance onto the relationship, he doesn’t get jealous easily either so it really is a good arrangement
eunseok ☆ i initially had him at the top of the list, and i’ll explain why he has moved down. eunseok is good at “no strings attached” sex, his only goal during sex is to make it pleasurable for you and him. sex with him isn’t unemotional though, he can hold eye contact while railing and speak into your ear prettily without catching feelings, he just wants to give you a good time. HOWEVER, i don’t think he would be very happy with you having other partners. at first his logical reasoning is that multiple sex partners is dangerous, “catching a disease would be bothersome, going to the clinic is annoying” he would say, but i think deep down it’s a matter of him wanting something exclusive, he’s not able to share, not just bc of a looming fear of STDs lol, but because once he gets fond of you and your body, he wants it to be just him & you
wonbin ☆ it starts off so well.. he’s good at hiding his feelings (and he has a lot of feelings despite his cool exterior) so he’d be able to maintain your fwb relationship for a while. however, the lines start to blur the more time you spend in his bed, the more he sees you in his dorm room the more he pictures you as a permanent part of his everyday routine. wonbin is someone who loves his comfort, his bed, his private space, so when you, your smells, your missing earring or the panties you left behind infiltrate his bubble the more he becomes dependant on you and your presence (can’t say more on this because i’ll spoil my upcoming fic)
shotaro ☆ the second you establish your relationship with him, he already knows it’ll be broken. he will keep up the act for as long as it lasts but ultimately shotaro is a domestic man who values the home life. he yearns for physical intimacy that doesn’t only include your mouth on him and he gets very jealous when he finds out you have side pieces. a very monogamous man who wants it to be just you & him or nothing at all, he’ll stay because he genuinely likes and respects you but his priority is finding a wifey
anton ☆ anton just doesn’t like fwb, he prefers a relationship that isn’t just physical, he wants an emotional connection, he has a very romantic nature that he can’t suppress. he would be easily persuaded into a fwb relationship, his busy schedule and his affinity for you rationalises it, but he would quickly become depressed with the arrangement.. he loves the sex but he doesn’t like how quickly your time together ends, one day he’ll accidentally spill all his thoughts while ploughing into you, the mood would seriously shift into a depressing one *cue angst*
sungchan ☆ you’re becoming his girlfriend, no questions asked. he cannot hit it without attatching emotion in some way, he becomes emotionally attached to the pum and hates the possibility of you having other sexual partners besides him, sungchan is clingy and possessive and that doesn’t work with your fwb agreement. he’ll either be attempting to take up all your time or he’ll straight up convince you to date him, starts asking you out on proper dates and tries to be more domestic before and after the act, cooks for you and starts hoarding YOUR belongings and doing YOUR laundry so you have a reason to come back and see him 🚬
least likely
#riize smut#riize x reader#sungchan smut#eunseok smut#shotaro smut#anton smut#sohee smut#wonbin smut#seunghan smut
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
In honor of Mike Faist’s birthday, do you have any ideas on Patrick and Art celebrating Art’s birthday together? Would Patrick go all out and surprise him?
i had to do move this ask to the top of my list so I could get it out asap (spoiler alert I did not finish it yesterday on mike’s actual bday, I fell asleep writing it last night 😭) i kept it cute and fluffy because I think Patrick would surprise him🤭
cw: fluff
Neither Art nor Patrick were very big on birthdays. Growing up Art’s family didn’t do much aside from having a birthday cake after dinner, but he still cherished those moments. Patrick’s family on the other hand would always very extravagant dinner parties with a ridiculous amount of people, mainly people Patrick didn’t know like his parents co-workers, investors, etc. They were never treated like they were actually celebrating him, more just celebrating work.
This was going to be Art’s first birthday away from his family (since his birthday usually falls during winter break) and he didn’t go home this year. It was his freshman year at stanford and he wanted to get ahead so he took a class during winter intermission.
He didn’t think much of it and honestly almost forgot about his birthday until he received a text exactly at 12:00am on January 5th from Patrick that read, Happy Birthdayyyy :).
Art smiled reading it. He could always count on Patrick. Shortly after Art received another text from Patrick, sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate but i’ll visit you soon dw.
Art types back, thank you! and it’s okay man, i’ll see you when I see you.
He doesn’t think anything about it and falls asleep.
…
So imagine Art’s surprise when he’s startled awake by the weight of someone jumping on top of him.
“good morning sunshine, happy birthday!!!!!!” Patrick exclaims, laying directly on top of Art.
Art groans blinking his eyes awake, “what are you doing here?” Luckily Art’s roommate went home for winter break, otherwise the commotion would’ve woken him up too. Art checks his phone on his nightstand to see a text from Tashi that came in at 5:30 am, Happy Birthday.
“and here I was thinking you’d be happy to see me,” Patrick sighs sitting up so he’s sitting in the V between Art’s legs.
Art sits up too, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “of course I’m happy to see you I just wasn’t expecting—”
Art pauses. He didn’t even get a chance to look around his room yet but when he did he was event more surprised. There were balloons all over his ceiling. So many different shades of blue. “how did you—”
“i bribed your RA to let me in. It took a lot of convincing but I think having the balloons with me helped my case.”
“you didn’t have to do this.” Art says, smile creeping up on his face.
“no I know but i knew it was going to be your first birthday away from your family and i wanted you to know how much you mean to me. i wouldn’t do this for just anyone.” Patrick shrugs saying it so nonchalantly but Art can see the faint blush start to rise on Patrick’s cheeks.
Art couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried. It doesn’t take long for him to see a small birthday cake and neatly wrapped gift box placed on his dresser.
He looks over at Patrick, “no you didn’t.”
Patrick smirks, “what’s a birthday without some cake?”
Art is still looking at Patrick with disbelief.
“well don’t just sit there admiring my beauty, go open your gift.” Patrick says as he pushes Art’s shoulders to get him to stand up.
Art stands up, walking over to the table. He picks up up the box and turns back to face Patrick, “there’s no way you wrapped this.”
Patrick shrugs, “i have my ways.” And by that he meant getting Tashi to wrap it for him because lord knows Patrick can’t wrap for shit.
Art rolls his eyes playing before carefully opening the wrapping paper which reveals a cardboard box. He takes some scissors from his desks and opens the box. Inside is a black picture frame that holds a picture of Art and Patrick right after the won the Junior U.S. Open Doubles Championship. It’s from when they had held up their trophies together, kissing the rims.
Patrick gets up from his place on Art’s bed and comes to stand next to Art. “do you like it?”
Art is starting to feel a little emotional now. Even though it hasn’t been that long since they left MRTA, it had felt like a lifetime since he’s seen Patrick. This picture has him reminiscing to the days where they did everything together. “ya i— i love it.” Art responds trying really hard not to tear up right now.
“nope no tears from the birthday boy, let’s sing happy birthday!” Patrick smiles adding the number ‘19’ candle on top of the cake. He pulls a lighter from his pocket and lights it.
He goes to stand behind Art, resting his chin on Art’s shoulder and his hands around Art’s waist. He starts to sing happy birthday and once the song comes to close he tells Art to make a wish.
Art closes his eyes and thinks about what he could possible wish for because as far as he was concerned, he had everything he wanted right here.
#art donaldson#challengers#patrick zweig#artrick#art donaldson x patrick zweig#challengers 2024#mike faist#josh o'connor#happy birthday mike faist!#fluff
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sam is back online!
Pairing: Max Verstappen x PewDiePie!sibling Summary: What if Felix had a genius brother who works as a RedBull's engineer and is also secretly dating Max part 34 of A Calm to my Storm Masterlist
[Felix's vlog starts]
Felix(laughing while running down the street): “Guys, Jack just told me it’s the off week for F1, which means my genius brother Sam is back in the UK! He just texted me that he’s home, so you know what time it is—I'm barging in again. Time for some chaos!”
[Camera shows Felix bursting into Sam’s flat]
Felix: “Saaaam! Where are you?”
[Camera pans to Sam half under a table, searching for something. Sam jumps, hitting his head on the table]
Sam(groaning): “Felix, I swear—one of these days, I’m going to steal my key back from you.”
Felix(laughing): “And yet, you haven’t. What are you doing under there, anyway?”
Sam(rubbing his head sarcastically): “Oh, just looking for a screw that apparently decided it didn’t want to deal with this family anymore. You know, the usual.”
Felix: “Well, I thought I’d come over since you’re finally back in the UK. You down for a stream later with Jack?”
Sam: “Sure, why not? I’ve only got a million things to do, but hey, I’ve got time for your nonsense.”
[Felix's phone rings—it's Jack. Felix puts him on speaker]
Jack(excitedly): “SAM! Dude, you’re a legend! What you pulled last weekend? Man, that was insane! I can’t believe how you—"
Felix(interrupting): “Wait, wait—what happened last weekend? What are you guys talking about?”
Jack: “Oh, you don’t know? Sam practically worked a miracle! Max went from dead last to winning the race, and Sam—”
Sam(cutting Jack off quickly): “It’s nothing, Jack. No big deal. Just a regular weekend at the office.”
Felix(frowning): “Wait, what? Max? What miracle?”
Sam(dismissing it): “Nothing you need to worry about. Anyway, are we streaming, or are you here to get a crash course on my job?”
Felix(laughing): “Okay, okay. Moving on—what are you doing down there under the table?”
Sam( grinning, leaning back from under the table): “Unlike you, I like to keep tabs on what my brother is up to when I’m away. I watched your last video during a break a couple weekends ago, and Max and I… Well, let’s just say we were not impressed.”
Felix(mock gasp): “Excuse me? What was wrong with my video?”
Sam(teasing): “Oh, you know… only that it looked like it was filmed on a potato. So, since I care about your image, I’m building you a new PC.”
Felix(laughing): “You and Max critiquing my video quality? Harsh, man.”
Sam(smirking): “Hey, I’m just looking out for you. Can’t have my famous brother’s content looking like it came out of 2010. Besides, if I have to suffer through watching it, at least make it bearable.”
[Comments start rolling in on the vlog/live]
@SamFanGirl: “OMG Sam being so nonchalant about saving a race and roasting Pewds’ setup at the same time?? I stan.”
@Formula1Nerd: “Wait, Felix doesn’t even know what happened last weekend? He doesn’t follow F1??”
@ThirstyForSam: ��Sam casually saying he watched Pewds’ last video with Max Verstappen like it’s NBD… and also, can we talk about Sam in Red Bull gear? 😍”
@PewdsNation: “Sam’s like, ‘I rebuilt a car and made Max win, no big deal,’ and now he’s fixing PewDiePie’s PC. This man can do it all!”
---
Felix(laughing): “So, you’re building me a new PC just because of one video?”
Sam(deadpan): “No, Felix, I’m building you a new PC because your current one is an insult to the entire tech community.”
Felix(laughing harder): “Alright, alright, I get it! How long until it’s ready?”
Sam(mock serious): “Depends… how many more times are you going to barge in while I’m working?”
Felix: “Touché. I’ll leave you to it—for now.”
---
[Comments continue]
@TeamSam: “Sam casually dragging Pewds’ tech setup while being a race-saving genius—what a legend!”
@F1Insider: “Jack wanted to hype Sam up, but Sam’s like ‘nah, it’s nothing.’ Can we all be this humble, please?”
@PewdsFanClub: “I need Jack’s reaction to every race from now on. No excuses.”
@FanForLife: “Sam literally saved Max’s race, but he’s more concerned about Felix’s PC quality. What a guy!”
#fanfic#max verstappen x male reader#writing#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#funny#max verstappen x male oc#pewdiepie x brother!reader#pewdiepie x sibling!reader#pewdiepie
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sylus — Night of Secrecy 💋❤️
❤️- Screenshots -❤️
❤️ - Kindled scene below the cut + my thoughts/rambling -❤️
.
.
.
Uhm. Wow. Just, wow. My sincere congratulations to Sylus and MC, the kiss card finally came and so did they, hallelujah.
I still can't believe this card is real, though. I'm genuinely dizzy, and I mean that in the best possible way. Because it’s sooo perfect. 10/10. No notes. Would swipe for again in a heartbeat.
I didn’t really know what I wanted their first kiss to look like. But I know that whatever I could’ve imagined wouldn’t have been nearly as good as this was. Now let me yap about this!
MC finally gets to bring Onychinus' leader to her place! After learning he needs a place to crash for 3 days before leaving for “business”, MC very generously offers her apartment as a safe house, both to keep him close and to figure out where he’ll be going since he won’t tell her (for her safety, of course).
And my god, these 3 days of them living together are the cutest, most domestic thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.
Shopping for groceries together, getting him his own pair of house slippers, him using (all of) her body wash. Sylus being in her space feels right, despite the smaller doorframes and treacherous bathroom cabinets.
(Grown ass man needs us to blow on his boo-boo. ADORABLE.)
But nevermind how cute this is, the situation is still unusual. Sylus and MC’s worlds kinda clash, despite how well they now get along and how much they care for each other. They are both aware of this, and no matter how fun this little play-pretend is, it’s going to have to end soon.
On their drive to the supermarket, Sylus prompts MC with a question: “When you’re in danger during a mission, do you think of anyone?” And the exchange that follows means a lot to me.
“But after my dirty work is done, I’ll wash my hands before going home.” I need this line tattooed across my forehead.
Sylus can’t leave his life back in the N109 zone, but he also doesn’t want to give up MC. And above all else, he wants to keep her safe. He tries to keep her away from his actual “business” as much as he can (which explains why he refuses to tell her where he’s going after their 3 days together).
If it weren’t for the N109 zone being risky for him to stay in right now and MC very conveniently proposing her place, he definitely would’ve found somewhere else to crash.
And so his best way to protect her while indulging their desire to see each other is to promise to “wash his hands before going home.” Whenever he gets to come back to her, he is not bringing his work to her. He will not allow himself to carelessly “taint” her life with his lifestyle. Very sweet, very thoughtful, very mindful (are we still saying mindful in 2025?) .
I’m gonna fast forward to their last night together/the kindled scene because I fear I could talk about every single line in this card.
Where to even begin.
BEST PROMPT IVE EVER SEEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
MC initating the kiss means everything to me. Thinking back to their first meeting, it’s him forcing her to resonate with her. Now, she’s pretty much the one who sets the pace in their relationship, which leads to this beautiful first kiss. It’s just too good.
“You really don’t want me to leave?” NO SIR SHE WANTS TO CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE SHE WANTS YOU BAD and there’s no more denying it. She’s been worried sick throughout the whole card about him, trying to make the most out of their time together, and now that it’s down to the last hours, she wants it all.
And when things start to get heated, our consent king doesn’t only ask her once, but TWICE if she wants to do it.
And it’s soooo HOT!
In the kindled, he hopes MC hasn’t changed her mind, since she kinda nudges him away right after saying yes. He wants this to happen just as badly, but no matter what he’s always, always going to put her first, and so he checks in again with her.
Is this the bare minimum? Well yes! But I still think it’s worth noting. Especially if, again, we compare to how cold he was with her at the beginning of the relationship and how he was forcing her to go along with what he wanted.
Consent is sexy, asking for confirmation is hot as hell. 12/10 would smash again.
#i kinda need him#like terribly so#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus the man that you are#sylus x mc#nameuserlee#l&ds sylus
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Danny found himself in the Batcave way before the Bats were due to return home. Alfred was on comms at the computer, so Danny waved to him before taking a seat on the head of the dinosaur. He was still so lost in thought.
His chat with Lady Gotham had been…uninformative. She’d had a lot to say, and he knew that he probably needed to hear every word of it, but none of it had brought him closer to solving the Coma Case. It hadn’t even told him if the portal was related!
He heaved a heavy sigh. “One thing at a time, Danny. Gotta call Connie.”
But what to tell him? That the Justice League Dark are going to have to infiltrate the main base for the League of Assassins because any of the heroes or their kids going would mean war on Gotham? Yeah, that’ll go over well.
He called the House.
“You’ve reached Batman.”
“Hey, Z.”
“Phantom! Why’re you calling the House?”
“Because what I’m about to say next may very well upset everyone and I very much do not want a call back about this tonight.”
“So be here in person?”
“That’s an even worse idea.”
She sighed, probably pinching the bridge of her nose. Had she been reading? Did he interrupt a meeting?
“Sorry,” he said quietly.
“What about?” Her voice was soft, but still stressed.
“For upsetting you… For interrupting whatever you were doing.”
“I wasn’t- It’s okay, Phantom, you didn’t interrupt anything. You have news?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me get the others in one place. You good to hold for a minute?”
“Yeah.”
“‘Kay, it’ll only be a minute.”
“Got it.”
There was a click on the line as it fell silent.
Danny sighed again.
There was another click and Zatanna began to speak again. “Alright, everyone’s here. Whatchu got for us, Phantom?”
He swallowed, forcing the words out before he chickened out and hung up on his team. “Battison and his children have spoken in council; In order to investigate the likely involvement with the League of Assassins, the Justice League Dark has to go alone.” He inhaled to try and calm his nerves. “Anyone of the JL heroes or their kids going in could risk war in Gotham and no one wants to see that happen.”
“Wouldn’t us going in be risking war?” Raven asked.
Danny shrugged. “Yeah, but a lot less so.”
There was a sigh that most definitely came from Constantine on the other end.
“We’ll give everyone a proper update once I’m back at the House, but I figured I should give y’all a bit to process the possibility.”
Deadman snorted. “How nice. Why can’t all of our missions give us time to process information?”
“Because Phantom’s not actively trying to kill any of us.” Zatanna answered, probably trying to slap him. “When’ll you be back?”
“Tomorrow? Yeah. Some time tomorrow.”
“Got it. We’ll order pizza.”
“Yay!”
The line went dead.
They didn’t like goodbyes, only saying as such before a high-risk mission. Abrupt hang-ups were better, though not during a crisis.
Danny stared up at the ceiling of the Cave from where he now laid on the T-Rex’s head. He still wanted to know where Batty Man got this thing. And the penny. Why’re they here? How are they here?
Eventually, Alfred left the comms and went upstairs, announcing his leave before going up to the Manor. Probably to make a midnight snack for the Batfam.
Soon thereafter, the group all came back to the Cave. First, Kate, who’s Batwoman; Then, Spoiler, Black Bat, and Red Robin; Next was Red Hood, who’s Jason, and Nightwing, then Batman and Robin. Duke was asleep, being the only day shift, and Barbra was elsewhere in the city.
Kate didn’t stay, changing before going up to the Manor to get her car. She was going to pick up Barbra from wherever she was and take her home. Steph and Cassandra were quick to also go upstairs, both very tired. Steph was leaning on Cassandra the whole way. Nightwing had dragged Red Hood into the infirmary before they could even get their masks off, so that was fun to listen to. Bruce sent Damian up to the Manor the moment he’d finished changing before sitting at the Bat Computer and starting to work on something. Timothy had taken his mask off, but hadn’t moved from his bike.
Nearly ten minutes after Dick and Jason had changed and gone upstairs to bed, Danny sighed and sat up. He wasn’t going to get anything done by sitting on his ass and counting bats. He resigned himself to talking to Bruce for a while longer. Not like it was a bad thing! Just that he would very much be asleep right now, but knows he won’t be able to sleep anywhere that isn’t the House or his Lair.
Timothy had moved from his bike, but hadn’t gone to change. Instead, he stood at the base of the T-Rex, staring at it in deep thought. Finally, he climbed to the top and sat next to Danny, about a foot of space between them.
Danny repressed a sigh.
“I looked into you,” Timothy said after a moment, “figured out who you were. Who you are.”
“I’m not anybody right now.”
“‘Course you are. You’re exactly who you were.”
“I can’t be who I was because I’m who I am now.”
“So you admit that you’re somebody?”
“It’s very well known, at least among the heroes, that I’m the Ghost King. That counts as being somebody.”
“True.”
“Is there a point to this discussion?”
A beat. “There was an accident when you were in middle school. The portal that your parents built, it’s what killed you, right?”
Another beat. Then another. “You need to learn a lesson in tact from Dick.” Inhale. Exhale. “Yeah, it was.”
“I’m sorry.”
“My first instinct is to say ‘It’s okay’, but we both know that’s a lie.” He didn’t turn to look at Timothy. “The dead don’t talk about their deaths even to each other. The living asking them about it isn’t something that happens. Whenever it’s brought up, the memories come flooding back. Most Realms Beings who have lived are only Realms Beings because of the way they died. Painfully, traumatically. Alone. Not only do we have to remember everything about how we died when it’s brought up, but we feel it, too. When I say it all comes back, I mean it; It all comes back and it hurts just the same as it did the first time.”
Timothy breathed in. Then, he let it go with a whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Danny shook his head. “You didn’t, but that’s not a good excuse. I’m not going to forgive you for the slight because that’s not how this goes. Assuring that you're forgiven will only affirm that you can get away with the behavior in the future.”
Timothy nodded, his eyes on the dinosaur head they were sitting on.
Danny was suddenly very aware that the typing at the computer had stopped, though Bruce hadn’t yet left. He was listening.
“Jason and Damian. They both died, yeah?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Have they ever been comfortable talking about how it happened? Have they ever been the ones to bring it up?”
Timothy shook his head. “No.”
“That should’ve been your first clue.”
Danny let the cold rings of light wash over him again. It’s always easier to use his powers as Phantom instead of Danny, though using them as Danny was not nearly as hard as it used to be.
Phantom phased through the head of the dinosaur, finding his way to the memorial that had been put up for Jason, if the named notes were anything to go by. Gently, he placed his hand on the glass and whispered, “You have suffered a great many hardships in both your life and relife. Your rest was disturbed, though I have no doubts that you stand where you are needed. Moriste demasiado joven, niño. Tu familia aún llora, aunque caminas entre ellos. Se te protegerá como tú proteges, se te ayudará como tú ayudas y se te llorará como tú lloras. Tu fuerza nunca te fallará y tu corazón tendrá el peso de una pluma. Descansa ahora, y no sientas más ira cuando despiertes..*”
The Cave fell silent again, not even the bats shuffling above pierced the heavy atmosphere.
“What was that?” Bruce’s voice tentatively broke through the air.
“It is the duty of a psychopomp to guide souls to their chosen afterlife. That was a blessing for Jason, a hope that he will not need my services for a while to come. It was also an apology for not reaching him the first time.”
“It was in Spanish, right?” Timothy asked, “Why couldn’t I understand it?”
“Because it wasn’t meant for your ears.” His feet landed soundlessly on the ground. “Am I okay to stay the night here? The others aren’t expecting me until sometime tomorrow anyway.”
A ghost - ha - of a smile crossed Bruce’s face. “Of course. Will you need a room?”
Phantom shook his head lightly. “Nah, you have a library?”
“Naturally,” the man said, “C’mon, I’ll walk you there.”
“Awesome.”
Part 21 Part 23
Translation 1 - Spanish - "You died too young, child. Your family still weeps, though you walk among them. You will be protected as you protect, helped as you help, and mourned as you mourn. Your strength will never fail you and your heart will have the weight of a feather. Rest now, and feel no more anger when you awaken."
#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant#part 22#dc x dp#i am not a native spanish speaker#i don't actually know any of the language outside of very easy words#please let me know if i made any mistakes#the translator i used is called DeepL Translate
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
X
#man wants to go home but can’t because he’s working#zhu yilong#朱一龙#朱一龍#주일룡#please stand by for the queue#L’Oréal brand event#he has the best facial expressions
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
terrible awful realization
[image transcript:
arisveah: and the surgery scene was so much more piercing seeing it from a different angle like omg now we have the idea that he was screaming the whole time omg.
best friend: RIGHT
arisveah: (referring to a previous comment about the exposure) "nerd" okay star wars. what am i supposed to do with the knowledge that charlie was screaming for half an hour what the fuck. what do i do with that? poor boy. if he ever escapes his voice is going to be absolutely shot. and plus saying all that (referring to the horror of promoting a future sex channel with your voice and not your authority) on stream- poor man might never say anything again (if he gets out) :(
End of transcript]
#generation loss#genloss#slimecicle#genloss charlie#mute genloss charlie#the founders cut#u ever get such a foggy brain in public that your mouth speaks without your consent and now u said something very violating about yourself?#now imagine that its been streamed in front of thousands of people and you can’t stop your mouth despite your best efforts#and before you know it youve made promises you know youll be forced to keep#because you didnt make them the people controlling your life did#and now you just have to wrestle with the reality of keeping these promises while your legs run with a boy. you know will die#and your eyes are too heavy to tell where the camera is focusing#but youre pretty sure its already focused your butt after you were forced to eat people and you dont know what else mightve happened after#terrifying#poor fucking gl charlie slimecicle#and he thought he was in the sanctity of his home too#maybe im reading too much into it#but my heart cries for that character man#he needs a hug and a warm blanket BADLY#i will give him hot chocolate and a Gun and he will be safe forever slash platonic#i want to steal him and niki and sneeg and vinny and carry them away to a safe little house on the prairie where they learn how to be human#and they farm carrots and wheat and charlie and sneeg go vegetarian while niki joins the police force and vinny works as an accountant
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
5 notes
·
View notes