#man this fuckkng sucks

[weareweirdpeople]

not a vent but diabetic shit because why not I want to share my experience

I have diabetes. I've had diabetes sense i was an elementary schooler on the way to middle school. Diabetes fucking sucks and it runs in my family. Because of this, and the fact that my family refuses to call it a disability despite it literally being a chronic illness, it has taken me a while to realize I do infact have a disability.

in hindsight, I am "lucky" that my mom raised me restricting lots of "unhealthy snacks" (non health foods. My mom viewed fucking cheezits as unhealthy and she came from a family that was even stricter with 'healthy' foods.) This meant that when I got diagnosed with diabetes, I would be prepared for the fact that now they weren't just rare treats my mom was learning to be ok with. Now they were aparently dangerous to my health and I could almost never eat them again.

My uncle has severe type 1 diabetes and my mom used to try to help him manage it, but he's a grown man whos never taken good care of it and does what he wants. So now that I had diabetes she was going to are sure I definitely didn't end up like that. This means that even if he himself brought all the kids a sweet treat, depending on my blood sugar I wouldn't even be allowed to have it. Most of the time she didn't want me to have it. This all went down with covid and I got to live with my diabetic father. The plus side was that the restrictions where pretty much gone, and I just needed to manage my sugar. The bad part is that I was fucking terrified of pricking my finger. It would take me hours to pick my finger, and my dad would be pissed. It slowly became very normal. I also had to learn how to take pills and open a pill bottle.

A while later now that I'm living with my whole family, I still have great care over my diabetes. I say great care as in how my family views it. I have the best a1c, I have the most consistent blood sugars. Personally I'm happy I can do that while having major depression but it makes me sad at the same time. It just pisses me off. Anytime my sugar is high I'm asked "what did you eat? What did you eat today? What was your sugar this morning?" I have an anxiety disorder. The doctors and google have told us that stress and anxiety can heighten blood sugar. Every time its about what I at. If im super sleepy? What did I eat? Whats my blood sugar? If im super anxious? Whats my blood sugar? Is it low? What have you eaten today?

My mom has always been focused on my diabetes. I low key hate it.

But in hindsight some of her ideas and things she let me do were so bad that its actually funny. Like holy shit mom, that was wild.

She at first wanted me to count all of my carbs. Every time I ate. All the carbs. She wanted me to check my sugar everytime I ate and then based on that it would determine what I was allowed to eat.

Then there was the point in time where she let me run around outside all day without eating lunch and sometimes even breakfast or any water until my sugar dropped crazy low and I was dizzy and shaking, and then id go outside again right after it went up. She doesn't like me reminding her of this because she says it makes her feel like a bad mother and that she was distracted. Im pretty sure the only constant meal was eating was dinner.

one time during Easter when we did an egg hunt my siblings got eggs fully of candy like normal. But my mom was running late on candy shopping so instead of giving me candy eggs, she made me get the special eggs she made, thinking they had zero sugar candy. They were fuckkng almonds. Unsalted Almonds. What. The. Fuck. I have never let her live that shit down, because who gives their kid fucking almonds as a treat??? Diabetic or not, unsalted almonds???

I was very very upset that year to say the least. My mom has always been stingy with any candy of any sorts. Even before we knew I was diabetic I was only really allowed 1-3 prices of candy from a holiday at most, and only after dinner. My Halloween candy especially would either go bad or she would eat it as well and I would not get much of it.

And after diabetes? Keto everything. My mom wanted to find as much keto stuff as possible, and I get it. We have a diabetic household, but she didn't do that shit until I got diagnosed with diabetes. I am happy that by now shes pretty much stopped all her restrictions and the keto stuff, she's still really diabetes focused when it comes to my mood and doesn't consider it a disability but that's okish.

Hilariously j don't have type 1 diabetes. Or type 2. I have a genetic mutation, and have had to convince multiple people that no I don't just have type 2, no I didn't not get diabetes because of my eating habits have you fucking seen me I am a god damm stick and even if I was fat that doesn't mean shit, no I cannot just eat fruit instead of candy that's not how diabetes works you peice of shit.

Long story short, i don't get a CGM or an Insulin pump. I actually make too much insulin, and dont really absorb it all and a CGM is to expensive... that means I just have to watch my sugar and take my pills indefinitely and I can't check my sugar too much because then I'd have to wait for my refills to get done because American health care fucking sucks ass.

lol diabetes sucks, stop being assholes to people with diabetes.

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

I'm just so sad 😞. I had a friend go through something similar. This is not me saying that 33 is old (it's not at all), but my friend was with a guy for 8 years and then at 32 they broke up. She was like, my life between 24 and 32 was all with him with him, i wanted kids with him, what do I do now...?! She's finding her way, but it fuckkng sucks man.

as someone who also left a VERY long relationship, I feel like the worst part is no matter what age, you feel like you lost a hugeee chunk of your life and time to find someone. I know from experience that is SO fucking hard to cope with, and exactly what your friend said, re-lay out so many life plans when you worked towards them for YEARS. it's so fucking hard ):

[trashdeviant]

God everything sucks so indulgent comfort from recent hyper fixations

Scenario is you’re sad n drunk on the floor somewhere idk

Gabe from overwatch

It’s not like he hasn’t seen this behavior from Jesse before so he is kind of disappointed to even see you like this

But he’s mature and would probably just want to talk to you about it when you’re sober

But right now he sees you on the floor and emotion so he joins you and rests an arm over your shoulder

If you’re a horny drunk and you try to come onto him he’ll diffuse the situation by pinning you however he can in his position and whisper absolutely fucking heart-wrenching words of support and care into your ear

“I’m here for you, I’d never leave you” “I know what you’ve suffered and you shouldn’t worry about me” “I love you” “I need you”

Nothing of which he would casually slip into a conversation with you

He holds back his words when you’re sober but he unfortunately knows how much you need to hear it from him

He stays with you as long as it takes to sober you up before disappearing until you find yourself needing him again

Grand highblood from homestuck

When he approaches you you’re on the floor crying with an empty bottle in hand

He’s bloodied and fresh from an execution

His once mirthful mood sours into one that’s more uncomfortable

He can’t quite tell why he’s uncomfortable but unbeknownst to the both of you he just really cares

He unintelligently pokes a little fun at your misery but when you’re just a little too unresponsive he huddled in close the best he can before giving you a small sigh

He holds you and although he can’t find any words to comfort you verbally he just keeps you close

He can tell you’ve been on the floor too long and gathers you up into a bath

He keeps you close to the edge in case you need to puke but he does continue to hold you regardless

Afterwards you cuddle on the bed as he tries everything in his power to make you feel secure

After that he decides to keep a closer eye on you

Lobo dc

This guy does not give a fuck he might as well join you

When he can tell you’re not having any fun though he kind of complains

But you’re unresponsive and he can see a few tears streaming

Your whole body must be numb because you don’t try to hide it from him

He’s not good with his words either of course but he does think it’s easier to distract you rather than talk about what’s bothering you

He tries to be funny but ends up coming off as gross

But it’s nice and almost familiar so you give into it lazily and cling to him

You guys obviously fuck for comfort at this point but I promise it’s not as sketchy as it sounds

Zuke from NSR

He comes back from a jam session with may and has to tell her to leave immediately

Not because he’s embarrassed by you or trying to hide anything but because he knows you would rather not have anyone else see you like this or it would eat at your for literally months on end

He’s not good when it comes to you crying but he does get soft at seeing that hurt look in your eyes

He rests his forehead onto yours and lets you audibly cry for hours

You don’t even notice the amount of time that goes by but it’s such an explosive release of emotions that you never realize that you needed

You wake up on top of him completely hungover but you can’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as he sleeps

[floralbfs]

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING I WANT TO K*LL SOMEBODY

[moonimbued]

.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

X marks the spot

Part 1 - Mark POV

Before summer

Warnings: NSFW SMUT SEX CURSING DRUGS ALL OF IT.

I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I stretched out, trying to process what had happened last night. I didn’t see that coming, and The only thing good about it, is I’m alone in my bed.

Fuck. Sarah told me she loved me, and then I fucked her. Why am I such an idiot? I don’t fucking love her, I hardly like her for fucks sake!

Then I remembered the argument with my dad, and groaned. I gotta find a new place to live as well. I forced myself out of bed, and stumbled over to my dresser. I needed a shower to get Sarah off of me, and I needed to brush my teeth and —- oh my god. Sarah loves me.

“Do I hear movement in here?” Sarah called out from my living room.

Fuck! Sarah is still here!

I bolt in my bathroom, and close the door, locking it and turn on the shower. I need to think.

Fuck my life.

I hear the door rattle as Sarah tries to open the door, “Baby! Why is this door locked? Don’t you want company?”

This bitch is psycho, and I fucked her. Amazing job Einstein.“I’m trying to shit, shower and shave.”

“Oh..... Ok, I’ll leave you to it. I cleaned up your house, and I went to the grocery store and bought stuff to make you dinner.” She sang through the door.

“I don’t like talking through the bathroom door. Not trying to be a dick, and all that sounds great, just...”

“Oh, I’m sorry baby! I’ll be out here waiting lover.”

Baby? Lover? Oh hell no, fucking psycho. No shit she’s out there waiting. Fucking stalker. I fucking knew better than to fuck with her, but she’s so persistent.

I hopped in the shower and scrubbed myself down. I needed to get dressed, get my shit and get out, without her seeing me somehow.

I didn’t wanna face her so I decided I’d climb out the bathroom window,and go look at some places, and just deal with her later. my wallet and phone are by the bed, I can sneak out and grab them.

I carefully opened the bathroom door and peeked out. Room was empty! I quietly crept across the room and grabbed all the things I needed, and bolted back in the bathroom.

It was hard not to bust out laughing as I crawled out my own bathroom window, and I prayed my parents weren’t out back for some reason. My truck was parked up front, and I didn’t see Sarah’s car. If she left again, and I snuck out the window for nothing, than that’s even funnier. I felt ridiculous running away from her, but Sarah and I had a complicated relationship, and I did not want to face that now. I mean she wasnt that bad, I’m just not interested. I’ve told her as much, but she thinks I’m playing hard to get or some bullshit. Better to avoid her since there’s no reasoning with her.

Fuck I’m an idiot.

I always knew Sarah was a bad idea but everyone else thought I was crazy. My Dad even loves Sarah, and I’m not sure he loves me!!! He Thought she was a “nice girl” which is only cuz she comes from money.

The only people with more money than our family, was her parents and Sarah is their only child. Both her parents died in a plane crash when she was about eleven, so she was left in Nance’s care, (Ems late Mother). She’d taken her in as her own, closing up Sarah’s mansion, and moving her into her home.

After Nance was killed, Em couldn’t stand her house anymore, so Sarah moved them into her family’s old mansion up the road. They threw large parties with drugs, and booze, and just absolute chaos. I figured all the DeGenerate behavior helped everyone forget.

(FLASHBACK)

I avoided them all like the plague, until I heard they were having a going away party for Lily. I couldn’t think of a better reason to have a party, than celebrating that bitch leaving. I rolled up in therewith my boys, honestly expecting drama, but surprisingly was welcomed with open arms.... and legs. Too open.

They were all fucked up, rolling, and Sarah, Em, and Lily decided we should all fuck. I made it clear I still had no interest in anything to do with Lily, and stormed out. I didn’t know where my boys were that I’d ridden there with, but I lived close enough to walk.

I know I look like a pussy, running away from a foursome with three hot girls, but the way Lily turned out to be, was painful. She’d been my first everything, and although I could of been a better boyfriend, I NEVER cheated on her.

When that leak happened of everyone’s phones, i wasn’t even interested. I thought it was fucked up, until my boys sent me the pictures that we all knew were Lily. Then I sat there reading through all their messages, and realized that a lot of them were sent, when she was with me. I’m sitting there thinking I have my dream girl, and she’s sneaking off to the bathroom, sending pictures of her finger banging herself and shit. And not only that, she let him watch us fuck through the window when we were at a party. I’m eating her fucking pussy, and she’s texting the 37 year old married guy, that she babysat for, and had dinner with his wife and kid.

It was so fucked. And then, she wouldn’t fucking give me the common courtesy to tell me the truth. We all knew it was her! Yet she was gonna lie to my face. I’m ashamed how I handled it tho. I just wanted to expose her for the homewrecking whore that she was. I felt like an idiot, for turning down pussy left and right for two fucking years, just to find out I wasn’t shit to her.

“MARK!”

Fuck. I turned around, to find Sarah stumbling along in a bikini drinking from a bottle of Belvedere Vodka. “GO HOME SARAH!”

“NOT TILL I SUCK YOUR DICK MARK.”

Fuckkng classy. I swear I attract the craziest women. I couldn’t help but laugh at her. I spun around and jogged up to her. I pointed in the direction she came, “go home Sarah. You’re drunk.”

“You jealous?” She asked playfully.

“Actually yes,” I said as I grabbed the bottle out of her hand, and took a giant swig. I turned around, and headed back home, downing the vodka as I went. I figured a half bottle of vodka, would help me pass right out, and forget this whole night. I turned to walk down my long ass driveway when I heard something behind me.

“Mark! I’m not giving up till I at least get to see it. WHIP IT OUT!”

I turned around and grabbed Sarah by her arm, “do you want to wake up my parents? Shut the fuck up.” I whispered harshly.

“Show me it. Let me see.” She whispered.

“Why? Where’s your homies? Why are you following me?” I was at my wits end with this shit.

“I don’t feel so good,” she started to wobble and almost fell.

I reached out and caught her just in time before she fell to the ground. She was out cold. I couldn’t leave her on the ground, and I wasn’t carrying her all the way home. I was too drunk to drive.

Shit.

I carried her to the guest house I lived in behind our mansion, and deposited her on the couch. I got a drink and then passed out on my bed. I was woken up by her snuggling up to me, but I was too tired to care.

I told her nothing happened since we woke up still dressed, but she was determined to suck my dick, and a man can only resist a hot girl so long. And that’s how whatever it was we had, started.

She gave the most incredible fucking head I ever got too. It’s like she loved my dick. Swear to God. She’d fucking fall asleep nuzzled up to my dick, and wake up and suck it again. It was amazing, but I didn’t like her beyond a friend, that was fun to fuck around with. I thought we were on the same page...... until New Years.

Her parents died on their way to party in New York, on New Years, so it was understandably a rough time for Sarah. She called me hysterical, and I couldn’t understand her, so I went to her house. She was home alone, out of her mind, on god knows what. I asked her where her partner in crime was, and she told me that Em had ODed on some bad shit, and was going to be ok, but was in a facility. She didn’t want to be around any people except for me. I should have read between the lines there, but I didn’t, and we hung out playing video games all night, watching movies and it was actually a great night. She was really a cool girl, and we’d been homies since elementary, I just didn’t like like her.

The next morning, when we were both sober, she tried to fuck me with no condom, which is a big no from me. I always use a condom, and she knew that. She was extremely aggressive about it, and when I refused, she flipped out on me. We got in this huge argument, and both said horrible things, and I swore that was the end of Sarah and I.

She called and texted all the time, but I never responded. She even sent me flowers and balloons, as well as showed up places I was at. I would just leave. I promised myself, I’d stay away from that whole clique.

I’d kept my word too and stayed away from her till this morning. I got home, and she was waiting on me on our porch. It was pretty tense between my Dad and I, and I didn’t need more ammo for him. I didn’t want him to think something was going on between us, so I told her to go wait in my house, while I talked to my parents real quick.

Dad and I had a knock down, drag out screaming match, and I completely forgot about Sarah.

I needed to get my own place, out from under their thumb. I knew they’d be pissed, but they’d get over it. I jumped in my truck and headed to 711 for a Big Gulp. I knew the owner had a home for rent, that had a big yard, to hold all my equipment for my business. We chatted, and he was all for me moving in. He wanted to give me the tour in a few hours, so I decided to find something to do in the area.

I checked my phone, and there were like 40 messages from Sarah and another 29 from my mom. Well I wasn’t going to go home for sure now. Had that bitch actually told my mother?

There was another message from a new number, that was a woman that wanted to sell a house she’d inherited. She stated the yard needed to be fixed up, and the upstairs required attention.

I called her back, and she gave me the address which turned out to be really close. She said she’d be there all day, so I said I’d come right over and give her some estimates.

I almost threw up when I realized the house I was pulling up to. It was Nick Mathers house of horrors. Nick had killed his wife and child and then been murdered by someone himself. It had reportedly been a super gory, bloody scene that the news said was the worst thing the police ever saw.

I stopped in front, and tried to decide if I was going to help, or just go. I put my truck into drive, and nearly drove away, but then I saw her.

The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, came bouncing down the porch steps, waving gleefully at me. She had a banging body, and gorgeous face, with really long hair. She was seriously the closest to love at first sight, I think is possible. Not love, but lust for sure.

I got out of my truck as she ran up to me and surprised me with a big hug. I awkwardly hugged her back, and hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt. She hopped back happily and I just stared at her like an idiot.

“Hi! I’m Brooke! I called you about the yard. This was my sisters' house, and we wanna get rid of it so I was hoping you can jazz it up please?” She was more gorgeous close-up, and something about her was just so adorable. She looked like she was trying not to cry, even though she was smiling I realized.

“Are you ok?” I asked her with genuine concern.

She looked up at me with big tears in her eyes and shook her head and went in for another hug. I held her as she sobbed into my chest, petting her hair and telling her to get it all out.

She giggled the cutest giggle I’d ever heard and for the first time in years, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, and was determined to make her mine.

“I must seem crazy.” She said.

“No, not at all! I'm familiar with what happened here, and I’m sorry about what happened to your sister and her daughter. I’d love to help you get this house all ready to sell. I can do more than landscaping too. Any house stuff or paint or whatever, I’m pretty handy.” I reassured her. I didn’t even care if she paid me, I just wanted to get to know her. “My name is Mark and I’m at your service. You really shouldn’t be doing this alone. You’re not staying here are you?”

“No. I am starting school after the summer, so I got an apartment by the campus, and figured I’d sell the house before school begins. Hopefully.” She said looking up at me.

“Well considering the house was in the news a lot and is kinda famous, I suggest we paint it another color and change the landscaping completely, so it’s not that house.”

“Won’t that be expensive.”

“No it’s not too bad, I know a guy.” I winked.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asked suspiciously.

“Well it seems pretty fucked up you’re doing this alone, and I’m a gentleman.” I told her. I’d leave out the love at first sight stuff for now.

“That’s the truth? You’re not like a gorgeous, charming serial killer? No offense, but guys that look like you, are never nice.”

“I think you give me more credit than I deserve. You’re one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen.”

She blushed and smiled brightly. “Funny. I was just thinking the same about you.”

Now I was blushing. I could feel it. I tried to play it off with a joke, “I’m not a very pretty girl. I’m a bit on the big side.”

“Omg Mark, are you blushing?” She squealed, reaching up and placing her hand tenderly on my cheek. I wasn’t used to such affectionate familiarity, but it didn’t make me uncomfortable like it normally would.

She kept her hand on my face as she stared into my eyes and I couldn’t look away. We stood there, quite awhile, till I broke the silence. “Ok. Let’s not be awkward. I’m not used to people telling me I’m pretty. Sorry. Now, where do i start?”

“Well, how much do you cost and what do we need to get and...”

“I’m not gonna charge you labor. I wouldn’t feel right about that. You just buy materials and I’ll help you.” I interrupted her.

Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open,”What? That’s crazy!”

“No, what’s crazy is what happened to your family here. The least I can do is help.” I insisted. It really was horrible.

“Wow, Mark. You’re my new favorite person.” She smiled up at me through her lashes.

It took all I had in me not to grab her and kiss her right there. I wasn’t going to fuck this up tho and scare her. I was going to help her, and get to know her, and wait for her to make a move. I liked her way too much already. I’d never felt this way about a girl right off the bat. Not even Lily. Definitely not Sarah.

Shit. Sarah.

I’ll deal with that later, that’s future me’s problem. Right now, all I cared about was right here in front of me.

[sufferinggod]

So yeah I was just depressed and moody the whole fucking day. Great start to my week smfh. Idk why God puts me through so much suffering and torment. I guess I deserve it for being an asshole most of my life. I have the worst luck and karma. I was thinking to myself today it would suck if I die and I'm reincarnated into all this shit again... But yeah, basically they were threatening to fire me. All because this old ass fucking bitch doesn't like me bro. And it sucks fucking ass how I'm the only guy working with all these women dude that's another reason why it just isn't working out. But I literally have to deal with it I have no other choice. There aren't any other jobs I can work at near me... I literally have no fucking idea where ima go if I get fired from this place. And I have no cash whatsoever saved so I know I'm definitely going to suffer... I had several suicidal thoughts throughout the day. I was just depressed the whole day since they told me that this morning. How else would one feel? And then those bitches try and cheer me up and talk to me like nothing happened like bitch they're threatening to fire me I'm not in the fuckkng mood right now... I didn't care if I was killing the vibe either bro that's how depressed I was the whole day. Rn I'm just thinking how ima have to go back to that toxic ass environment tomorrow smh. THAT'S LIFE. I don't even know how to react anymore. Idk if I should try and bounce back from it or just let it completely deflate me and submit to it. Depression really hit me hard today. It's almost 11 PM. I wanna sleep but also wanna get drunk. If I start drinking I am getting no sleep whatsoever man and that isn't going to help tomorrow.

[pierogipete]

Coffee Shop AUs I need as someone who works in a coffee shop

AUs where both of them are baristas:

AU where business is really slow so Person A and Person B start doodling on the hot sleeves for the cups and compete to see whose doodles the customers like better and then A starts doodling on B like hearts or some cute shit

The new manager (Person C) is an Asshole and is making them scrub the floor with bleach (been there, done that, it sucks) and they bond over complaining about C

Dealing !!! with annoying customers!!!! And standing up for each other/bonding over the assholes! Example annoying customers from my experience as a barista:

That customer who orders a cappuccino not knowing what it is and then getting upset when its not a latte (u baristas out there feel me)

when you run out of somehthing (like cold brew or the sodas in the cooler)  and they ask you to look in the back and then throw a fit bc they don't get what they want (this happened to me once, a grown ass man threw a tantrum bc we didn't have milk for his goddam cookies tf)

when you make them wait for more than two seconds to take their order/ make their drink and they get pissy

when its slow and the customer watches you make the drink and start making comments like bitch let me do mmy job

Person A and B don't normally work the same shift but A is covering for C and goddam, B is fucking cute

when there's a rush and the cafe is understaffed so its just A and B and they have to work together to make like seventeen drinks and personal space stops existing bc you gotta get those drinks made ASAP ( I can't count the amount of times my coworkers and i have been all up in each other;s space trying to work around each other to make drinks). Bonus points if A is already pining for B and is getting flustered about close quarters. Extra bonus points if B notices and starts being a llittle shit about it and gets even more in A's space ;)))

bonding over making fun of ridiculously specific drink orders (not until the customer is gone tho don't be rude)

A is new and B teaches them how to make drinks and shows them the ropes and maybe starts flirting bc the newbie is a hottie ;)

when the rest of their coworkers + manager ship it

When regular customer (Person C) comes in and makes chit chat and assumes A and B are dating and one (or both) get flustered

CLOSING TOGETHER AND BEING ABANDONED BY THEIR COWORKERS TO CLEAN THE FUCKKNG DISHES AND IT TAKES FOREVER AND THEY BOND OVER THE FACT THAT THEIR COWORKERS ARE ASSHOLES WHO LEFT THEM ALL THE CLEANING TO DO

I need more coffee shops AUswhere theyre both baristas @ fanfic writers pls

[k-k0129]

Man it must suck to be her on a full moon man. LIKE THE FUCKKNG MOON MADE IT SO SHE CANT KISS HIM EHDBDVSVAH

“A mermaid’s tale” (6)

jj x reader

rudypankows’ gif!

summary: you managed to keep your secret safe. until a boy gets in danger and you have to save his life.

PART 5

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

“Seriously?” Kie asked to Pope when he won at the cards game.

“What?” He asked confused but at the same time proudly for winning.

“You totally cheated!” She said and you watched how Pope’s face expression changed to being offended. You let out a little laugh and he turned to you.

“Y/n! You think I cheated?” He asked and you shrugged your shoulders with a little smile, playing innocent.

You got distracted by your phone making a little noise and you got it out from your back pocket, looking at the full moon picture that was on the screen. You sighed and then locked the phone.

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked silently next to you and you shook your head.

“Nothing. I have to go.” You got up from the couch and headed to the front door, but stopped once you felt a slightly tingly feeling on your nose making you sneeze, but you jumped since the glasses of water that were on the counter exploded. You stumbled back to not get wet and watched with surprise at the water all over the floor.

“What the fuck was that?!” John B asked looking at his all wet clothes.

JJ took the opportunity when everyone got focused on the water and the sudden explosion, to walk towards you. “Y/n?”

“There’s something you should know about me.” You said grabbing his hand and walking outside. “All of this on it’s own it’s pretty weird, I know. But there’s more weird shit. When the fool moon comes out I-”

“What? You turn into a werewolf or something?” He said jokingly but when you didn’t say anything right away, his expression changed to a serious one. “Do you?”

“I don’t, sort of... weird things happen to me when the full moon is out. That’s why I can’t hand out with you guys some nights. I look straight at it, I can’t control myself.”

“You get drunk with the full moon?” He said.

“Weird way to put it, but yes.”

“So that explosion was because there’s a full moon tonight?” You nodded.

“The thing is... the full moon is not out yet, and it’s already a mess, my powers went all crazy, I should go home because I don’t know what could happen when the moon is out.” You started to walk away but JJ gently grabbed your arm.

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” He said and you quickly nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve been dealing this for a long time. I got this.” You gave him a little smile, but he still wasn’t fully convinced.

As soon as you walked into your room, you closed your window and the curtain, making sure no light was coming inside your bedroom.

“Y/n, sweetheart! Can you come here for a second?” Your mom called you from the kitchen.

“Everything is ready.” You said to yourself while looking around. You had a feeling that this night was not going to be a normal full moon.

~

You let your body relax on the bed once you finished dinner with your parents. You watched the hour on your phone and calculated that the full moon had already been out for almost half an hour.

You closed your eyes trying to think of something to do, because sleeping was not on your mind, when you heard a noise coming from your window. You ignored it, thinking it was the tree that was next to it hitting it, but when you heard it more than three times, you got suspicious.

Your hand was making it impossible for your to see the sky, as you walked closer to your window. As soon as you moved the curtain, you furrowed your eyebrow when you noticed the boy that was on the other side.

“JJ! What are you doing here?” You asked once your window was opened.

“I brought snacks!” He said in a whisper. You let out a little smile and helped JJ go into your room. “I wasn’t going to let you spend this beautiful night alone.” He said putting the bags of food he had on the floor. “Nice room, by the way.”

“If my parents find you here, they’re going to kill you.” You said and JJ just shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ve heard that before.”

You opened your mouth in surprised and then playfully punched his arm, but a little laugh came out of your mouth.

“Did something else explode?” He asked after offering you some of the chips he bought.

You sat down on your bed next to him and shook your head. “No, fortunately. I tried to keep myself under control.”

“Y/n!” You heard your mom closed to your room so in the minute of panicking you pushed JJ to the other side of your bed where he couldn’t be seen from the door. She quickly opened the door and looked around your room. “Is everyone alright?” She asked once she saw you on your bed with your eyes widen out in panic.

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly. “Just, getting ready for bed.”

Your mom nodded not fully convinced and walked towards the chair on your desk to leave the clean laundry.

“Good night, then.” She said before closing the door.

“Ouch!” JJ said silently on the floor and you reached over to see him.

“Sorry, I panicked.”

“Yeah, no shit, dude!” He went back to the bed and then a little laugh came out of your mouth, playing the moment back in your head. “Oooh, you think is funny, do you?”

You nodded. “Kinda.” Without hesitation he pushed your body and it fell to the side of the bed, making you feel a slight pain on the side of your arm. JJ bursts into laughter and you sat down on the floor to lock eyes with him.

“Asshole!” You said and JJ just kept laughing.

“You were right, it was funny!” He said and you punched him in the side of his arm once you sat down in your bed.

“Dickhead.” You said softly.

“That’s what you get for scaring me the other day.”

“You’re never going to let that go?”

“Now that I watched you fall from your bed, I will.” He said proudly and you shook your head, but a little smile came out of your mouth.

“Well, now I have to go to the bathroom to clean my hands. Those chips are greasy as fuck.” You said getting up from your bed and waking towards the door inside your room.

“Wait, is that your bathroom?” You nodded confused at his question. “You have a bathroom in your room?” He got up once you opened the door of the tiny bathroom. “That’s awesome dude!”

“I’ve never seen someone get to excited for a bathroom.” You said confused but with a little smile for how cute JJ looked. You grabbed toilet paper and started to rub it around your hands, trying to make your fingers clean again. “Fuck, it won’t come off. I hate having my fingers like this.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda disgusting.” He said and then opened the water from the sink. You turned to him but the water went crazy once you did, making your entire chest wet.

“Great...” you said sarcastically.

You let your body fall into the bed once the tail appeared. You sighed looking at it and JJ let his body lean back on the side of the door, while looking at the giant tail on the room.

“How did you managed to keep a secret all these years, I have no idea.” He said and you shook your head.

“You and me, JJ.” You let your arm stretched over your tail but when you closed your fist to dry it off, it started to burn so bad, the water in the sink started to make smoke with the bottle of water you had on your side table.

You quickly opened your fist and looked around to see the smoke disappear.

“That was weird.” JJ said while looking at your hand.

“I had a feeling this full moon was not going to be normal, my powers are out of control.” You let your back fall on the bed and sighed after closing your eyes. You felt JJ sitting down next to you and your eyes quickly opened. “I can’t dry off.”

“Then we just wait.” JJ said and you turned your head to him, who had a little smile on his face and that made you feel better. The memory of him and you at John B’s house appeared in your mind and you turned away, feeling your cheeks get hotter. Having all of this mess in your head brushed away the fact that you and JJ almost kissed yesterday. “What are you thinking about?” He asked and you realized his body was now closer to yours, he was lying down next to you and you felt his arm touching yours.

“That I wished I was in the ocean right now.” You quickly lied and JJ just gave you a little nod before looking away to the ceiling.

“Must be pretty good to be able to swim as much as you want, not needing to breathe.”

“I don’t know If you really want this.” You let out a little laugh and JJ looked at you.

“Why not?”

“You would have to give up surfing.” You said quickly knowing that would be the main reason he couldn’t do it. And you were right. He didn’t answer, he just nodded and went back to looking at the ceiling.

Silence surrounded the room and you were getting lost in your mind, remembering the time at John B’s house. That made you asked yourself: why was JJ here?

Was he just being nice? He’s always been. But coming to your house, bringing snacks, sneaking into your room risking himself being caught by your parents, all of that because he didn’t want you to be alone?

You felt your legs coming back and you smiled when the tail was gone. “Finally.” You sat down on the bed and JJ did the same. “Thank you for keeping me company, JJ.” You said softly and he shook his head.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” You turned your head to him and he locked eyes with you. He had a little smile on his face and you couldn’t help but look at it. His lips looked soft and you wanted to see if it was true.

You looked at his eyes to lock eyes with him, but he was just staring at your lips like he wanted them. A sudden wave of courage took over your body and got closer to him, feeling his breathing mix with your yours, your hand went to his cheek to gently grab it, but when you touched it, it started to burn and you took your hand away from his face.

“Ouch.” He said softly after touching his cheek.

“I’m sorry.” You got up from your bed and turned around, face palming yourself on the inside for the ruined moment. “You should leave, it’s getting pretty late. I don’t want you to get into trouble for me.” You said still looking the other way.

You heard JJ getting up from your bed and walk over to the window. “Goodnight, Y/n.” He said softly before going through your window.

You stayed there with your mind full of thoughts and your heart going full speed. Why did your hand do that? Your fist wasn’t closed.

What was happening to you? You always wanted to be alone, you met JJ, and suddenly, you want him around and wanted to kiss him. You were glad it didn’t happen, having to deal with feelings was not the best for you right now. But deep down, you were annoyed at your powers for being out of control.

“Fuck you full moon.” You said softly and went back to your bed to go to sleep, but the thoughts you had on your mind were making it impossible.

***

taglist;

@ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @hopebaker @floretsoleil @rudyypankow @lolitstiana @obx-writings @nicolettalauren @obxmxybxnk @k-k0129 @g0thc0uture @chasefreakinstokes @no-pogue-on-pogue-macking @hoodcal96 @cutiecolbsss @lovelymaybankk @sweetlysilent

[miniturefawn]

Kinda dreading going down to the fams house Sunday, wish I could pregame but I'm driving alone so lol. I'm talkative right now because my sleep schedule is fucked and I'm a little manic so

Family friend thin blue line fuckface will probably be there so I'm interested 1) because having fuel to hate him gives me something to do and 2) his kid is going to the same shitty college prep school I went to and I warned this man that that sxhool SUCKED ASS and is made to weed out the kids who can't mindlessly turn in dozens of projects. You get 2 years of free community College through this if you can just make it to 11th grade. He is an 8th grader and oh wow fuckkng surprise!! He is most likely depressed and he apparently quit turning in all of his work and is getting kicked out so he lost that 2 free years.

His dad is apparently so upset that this kid isn't allowed to come over and has to stay at mom's house.

It makes me fucking sick honestly because I self harmed when I went into this school and further developed an eating disorder. this school is designed to fuck you up so you drop out and they don't have to pay for you but im just a stupid liberal girl what do I know lol.

Like I remember sitting with my friends and explaining this theory and they were all like "oh fuck" and then we made it to college out of spite so we could take their money.

Anyway the day I see the rhetoric of fuck my kid's feelings he is a man he needs to grow up is the day I can unclench my asshole. Fuck living in the south, comfort your 14 year old child.

[traumaticgravity]

Ive noticed ive gained weight AGAIN ahaha tjis fuckkng sucks man

[itsadiarywhatever]

7/27/2017

<p>Today I got a mini lecture from my mom about how I’m not okay. I know I’m not but that doesn’t mean I need to hear it from someone else she told me I need to sleep and that I need to find out what the problem is so I can fix it she said I did this my senior year of high school the whole not sleeping barely eating drinking way to much coffee and just not taking care of myself thing I told her that I am fine and not to worry but she wasn’t satisfied she said she will always worry because she cares I told her there was nothing to worry about. help.. I am aware there is a problem especially rn the day runs into the night the night into the day it’s actually the 28th as I’m writing this and I’ve had a little DP Vodka and coconut rum. Mario is already asleep he was pretty drunk ha I really do love him but it’s hard sometimes because I believe he loves me but I don’t think he really knows me so I guess I am just scared that he might love the idea of me rather than me. That would be my own fault tho I am slow to open up but we will see. You know when you are a little tipsy and you move but it’s just a bit slower than you anticipate and you feel a bit sluggish yeah that’s how I feel right now but I suppose that’s kind of why I did it. Why I drank. Because I wanted to feel the fire in my stomach, I wanted to clear my head, I wanted to sleep a bit but here I am writing this. I think I want to write a book I want to call it Almost Legal I’m stealing the name from the shirt Seth got at the strip club they went to in Allen after the concert where he got his first lap dance;. I wonder if I asked him for an interview on the experience if he’d do it but anyways it will basically be about the shit I did between 18-21 those years where you are an “adult” however not quite “adult’ enough whatever that means everything from drinking, sex, weed, shaving, shopping, school, self care, working, dating all of the stuff everyone just doesn’t really know about with a stress on the fact that it is all based on personal experience and we will all experience everything differently idk but I know I am definitely off topic I honestly wish I was as drunk as I got after Elizabeth’s wedding with Cody and Alison because I feel really fucking good you know every time I get drunk or high or just to where I know I’m not 100% I want to talk to Mario but don’t like I really just wanna talk like I do with my friends and just go to town but I always quiet myself or won’t really talk just because I’m scared of what he might say but I have been getting a lot better about talking to him or at least I am trying but he is asleep which makes me sad but he needs to sleep he’s got shit to do ha recently I have really been a bit down and I want to talk about it but I feel like such a burden on everyone that I don’t idk it’s just hard because even when they say they want to hear it it’s like no yr just saying that because that is what you’re supposed to say lol I’m getting a little sleep which was also the goal of drinking to be able to sleep because I have been having a hard time with that. It really sucks to sleep alone tbh I would love to be cuddled up in a bed with Mario rn just laying there arms around each other comfortable being held I fuckkng love that shit man lol I’ve been typing for a while so I think I’m gonna go to sleep lol but I kinda wanna read this in the morning just to see because I am trying to recall everything I wrote about and I’m like yup feelings haha also might be a bit stressed but shhh don’t tell anyone b/c like what do I have to be stressed about lol I am just ready to be back in San Angelo it really became a home for me and I miss it so much definitly not my forever place but for now it is literally so much better than HG haha hey Alexis don’t forget to throw ur cup away haha jk I’m not that drunk goodnight world I love you and all of you fucked up asshole bullshit you be pulling but sometimes man you really gotta lay off people deserve better than this shit peace love and positivity man hippie vibes and love yourself because you fucking deserve it