#i had no fucking idea that i even did the thibg that i did

[29121996]

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[ambersky0319]

Random questions from your ask game!

What was your second dream job as a kid? Why?, 2. What was your favorite game to play as a child? 7. Favorite homemade food? Why do you like it? Could you share the recipe? 🩷 🩷

What was your second dream job as a kid? Why?

Hmmmm I think my second dream job was an artist actually! I hadn't figured out that I loved writing quite yet, and I really enjoyed making art - I don't know if they still have them but my grandparents used to have ALL the little drawings and scribbles I used to make, and had been collecting them since I was little. Dropping the idea that I'd be a veterinarian was also around the same time that I would watch a LOT of mlp speedpaint videos on YouTube, which probably also influenced me wanting to be an artist honestly 😅

What was your favorite game to play as a child?

Literal, physical game? There was this Tinkerbell game I had on my Nintendo DS that I absolutely loved. I don't remember the name of it unfortunately and I also can't seem to find any traces of it, which is a shame!

Games overall? Anything to do with playing pretend! I have a lot of fond memories of playing pretend in the pool with my cousins and sibling, being magic users or magic creatures; playing power rangers with my sibling; creating fun and random dynamics with my friends in school. Fun little story, as a joke my friend group began being like "Grace is the mom, X is the dad, Y and Z are the kids, A is the aunt..." and it just spiraled until basically our entire class/grade was in on it and we'd just created one massive family.

Favorite homemade food? Why do you like it? Could you share the recipe?

My dad's barbeque chicken and rice. It was so fucking good. It was one of the very few things I missed when I moved out. I don't know exactly why I liked it: maybe because when my dad made it, it was never really on a bad day? Like those days he was usually nice? Maybe it's because it was a comfort food from a young age? Maybe it just tasted good? I don't know, but man do I miss it.

And I WISH I could share the recipe. But alas. I don't even have it. The gist of it was, essentially: white rice, with pulled/shredded chicken soaked in barbeque sauce on top.

I could theoretically figure out the recipe. He DID give it to me at one point, but I lost it, and my grandma never put much effort in trying to help me replicate it. And it's simple. But the barbeque sauce was the thibg that really made it, and I have no clue which one my dad used.

Maybe I'll try experimenting when I move out and if I find the right one, I'll share it!

[moonimbued]

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[drwcn]

I loved your fem lwj take on things. How would thibgs go if WWX was the lady? Other than ppl assuming she stood up for the Wens bcs she jad feelings for WN ( and that Yuan was hers)

Heyyy friend, I think I’ve seen a couple of girl!wwx fics floating around in ao3 so i certainly won’t be the first :P.

Also I completely misread your ask initially, I thought you were asking me what I think would happen if A-Yuan was WWX’s kid, and I was like oh?? But then I realize wait... I can make it worse.  

Today, I decided that my mortal soul doesn’t matter, so here we go. Let’s see how accursed I can make this idea: 

[1]

It started with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Wanyin had set out for the Burial Mount with the explicit goal of throttling speaking with Wei Wuxian, but what greeted him at the entrance of the “Demon Subduing Palace” — more of a cave than anything really — was not his martial sister, but Wen Ning. Well, what had once been Wen Ning.

Black veins ran across his pale, ashen face, down his equally ashen neck , and into the major veins beneath his clavicles covered by the collars of his black threadbare robes. Lifeless eyes, white as his skin, stared into a void the living could not see. There were talismans littering his body, and Jiang Cheng knew that when he spoke to this fierce corpse, he was not speaking to the young Wen boy, but to his mistress who controlled him with her demonic cultivation. 

Wei Wuxian refused to face him. Refused him explanation. Refused him closure.

“Er-jie!” Jiang Cheng screamed into the stony expressionless face of Wen Qionglin. “If you continue to protect them, then I can’t protect you!!” 

There was no response. 

Suddenly, just as Jiang Cheng was about to kick and fight his way into the cave, Wen Ning thrusted out his right fist, and in his grasp was a piece of purple silk. Jiang Cheng unfolded the silk, vaguely recognizing that it had been cut from someone’s robe, and saw what was wrapped within was a slip of parchment.

割袍断义*, the paper read. Tell the world that I, Wei Wuxian, first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang has forever defected (Note: 割袍断义- to rip one's robe as a sign of repudiating a sworn brotherhood (idiom)).

With this, there was nothing left to say. Hurt and furious, Jiang Wanyin threw the piece of parchment onto the dirt ground, grinded his heel down on it, and left the Burial Mount without ever having drawn Sandu. 

Inside the cave, Wen Qing held Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Why won’t you just tell him? He’s your brother; he can help you, you can —” 

Wei Wuxian’s mile long stare seemed to be gazing at something — someone — very far away. Slowly, she placed her other palm over her belly, which horrifically was already starting to round out. “Nobody can help me now, Qing-jie.”

“I can,” said Wen Qing, blunt as ever. “I can make it go away, if you want.”

“No.” A droplet of tear escaped pass long lashes. “No.” 

[2] 

It continued with Jiang Cheng.

On a snowy night, the first winter after Wei Wuxian escaped with the Wen remnants to the Burial Mount, Jiang Cheng was rudely awakened from his slumber by a less-than-stealthy intruder breaking and entering into his bed chamber.

Zidian whipped through the air, lighting the room with her eerie violet glow, before the intruder could think to take one more step. It was a man, judging from his silhouette colliding against the wall and the pained groan he made in response. The very next second, the tail of Zidian coiled tightly around his neck and dragged him across the floor towards beneath Jiang Cheng’s waiting foot. 

The Sect Master of Yunmeng Jiang summoned Sandu, ready to deliver the final strike, but just as his blade sailed towards the intruder’s chest, a pale arm jutted upwards, blocking Sandu’s descent and revealing a pale hand holding a … a... 

Even in the dark, Jiang Cheng immediately recognized the mahogany comb. 

“Jiang — ! Zongzhu —!” The man croaked out urgently, throat still stomped on by Jiang Cheng’s foot. It was - it was Wen Ning?!

Jiang Cheng looked him over. He was pale, yes, but his eyes appeared human. His hair was brushed and haphazardly done up in a farmer’s top knot. He was wearing farmer’s clothing too, probably more inconspicuous for travel than his Ghost General getup.  

“Jiang-zongzhu! P—please!!”

No, impossible. 

“Wei — Wei-guniang—”

Jiang Cheng lifted his foot and dragged Wen Ning up in a split second. “What’s wrong with Wei Wuxian?!”  Wen Ning coughed and shook his head desperately. “No time to explain. My sister asked me to fetch you. Please, you have to come! Wei-guniang’s life is in danger! If you won’t come, I’ll...I’ll have to go to Gusu, and I don’t know if - if -” 

Jiang Cheng followed Wen Ning. 

For speed, they travelled by sword, but even so, dawn was breaking by the time they arrived. The crowd of Burial Mount’s villagers huddling anxiously outside of the Demon Subduing Palace parted for them upon their arrival. Jiang Cheng took a moment to gather himself and square his shoulders. Whatever it was; he was ready.  

He was wrong. None of the dozens of scenario he had agonized over on the flight here could have prepared him for what awaited him inside. 

Wen Qing, pale and drenched in sweat, was near complete spiritual collapse, and without Wen Qing’s spiritual energy sustaining her, the single tenuous thread by which Wei Wuxian’s life hung on would have undoubtedly snapped under the toil and devastation her body had been put through. 

There was so much blood, so, so much blood everywhere, and amidst the blood, there was a baby. 

Fuck. 

Jiang Cheng transfused his sister half of his total spiritual reserve over the course of a day, while an exhausted but unrelenting Wen Qing worked diligently under blood-soaked sheets. 

Then at dusk, when the storm finally passed, Jiang Cheng sat at the mouth of the cave with a tiny, perfect little human — a girl, a niece! —  in his arms and cursed Lan Wangji’s name. 

Wen Qing was extremely clear with them: 孩子要是留在这里，养不活。

If the newborn was left to be raised at the Burial Mount, she would not live. And so, because parting was inevitable from the start, Wei Wuxian adamantly refused to hold or nurse the child. Her child. 

I can’t. If I do, I won’t be able to let her go. Those dark eyes burned with more than just the delirium of her childbed fever. For once, Jiang Cheng could not find it in himself to argue.

Thus, he took his niece home and named her Jiang Yan 江曕. The name was not his doing. His foolish, misguided, stubborn sister had stroked her daughter’s soft, baby cheek and whispered it to her as a farewell gift. 

Yan - to be bathed in daylight. In the end, when given a choice, Wei Wuxian still opted for her child to walk on broad sunny road. 

It made Jiang Cheng wonder why, then, she would choose the dark twisted path for herself instead. 

[3] 

It ended with Jiang Cheng. 

The truth was simple: Jiang Wanyin killed his shijie Wei Wuxian. He did. He meant to. 

He killed her. But that did not mean he wanted her dead. 

In one day, he had lost both of his sisters, leaving two orphans in their wake. Jiang Cheng could not ignore the cruel irony of their fate: one’s father murdered by his aunt, and other’s mother murdered by her uncle. 

This was the kind of tragedy fairytales were made of, and if there were anything left in him to shed tears over it, he would.  Standing amongst Nevernight’s carnage, he could not dredge up even a single drop of tear.  

Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he could return home to Lotus Pier to face that cherub face, always so happy, so sweet, so utterly untainted by the world. She had her mother’s smile. Yan'er was starting to learn how to speak. Her first words were da-da. 

Da-da. Die-die. Father. 

He was standing beside her father now. 

Lan Wangji. Devastated. Destroyed. …Deceived.

Jiang Cheng hated him so much, so fucking much that for one insane second, he thought about telling Lan Wangji the truth just to see what would happen. Maybe he would run Jiang Cheng through with his Bichen - that would be a relief now, wouldn’t it? - or maybe he would jump after Wei Wuxian. 

Truly, if he knew, he would. Jump, that is. Jiang Cheng was almost entirely sure. Oh the utter melodrama that would inspire indeed!  

But then... 

Wei Ying birthed you a daughter, a lovely, perfect, blessed little girl, and she carried that secret to her grave. I may be damned by my actions, but you, who have done nothing for her and taken everything, why should you deserve something as sacred as the truth?

Jiang Cheng turned away. 

He was acutely aware that one day Jiang Yan may very well be the literal death of him. After all — 杀母之仇不共戴天 — one cannot tolerate living under the same sky as the murderer of one’s mother. 

Be that as it may, he would raise Jiang Yan well, just as he promised. Unlike his sister, he would not break his word. Jiang Yan was of Lotus Pier, of Yunmeng, like her mother and grandfather before her. That for him, was enough. 

Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu and gripped Zidian. Whatever his fate, he already made peace with it, and the rest was inconsequential. 

One day, he may die, but today he lives, and so as long as he lives, Jiang Yan and all of Yunmeng Jiang will be protected . So as long as he lives, they will flourish. 

[...and in between]

On the streets of Yiling, Lan Wangji tilted his head inquisitively at Wei Wuxian and the little boy at her side and asked, “This child, he...” 

In response, Wei Wuxian patted her chest in a self-declarative kind of way and announced, “Oh this child, I birthed him!” 

He stared at her in shell-shocked silence, his mind racing with panicked thoughts of but that’s impossible — that was just once — even if — the boy is too old to be —

“怎么，蓝湛，不要我们娘儿俩了？” What, Lan Zhan, you don’t want the child and I?

“Wei— Wei Ying—” 

Then of course, she had laughed, and Lan Wangji thought no more of it. 

Just a joke. A silly joke. 

In time, he would come to realize his mistake. 

~~~

[A/N]: I’m not even a little bit sorry. 

[toomanyfandoms02]

Writing prompts!

So I just reached 100 followers and I am BEYOND happy YALL. So heres 100 prompts for people to send me asks with! Send as many numbers as you want in one and I'll make a blurb from it. (And by blurb I mean I will grow attatched to your request and write a whole fic on it probably lmao) THIS WAS PREVIOUSLY MY 100 FOLLOWER THIBG BUT IM BRINGING PROMPTS BACK FOR REQUESTS.

FYI no matter when you are seeing this, request. I don't care. I'm always up for inspiration. :))))

If it has a star next to it, I came up with it on my own.

These probably wont be blurbs and will be longer!

I'm currently writing for >>>>

Breakfast Club

HARRY POTTER

Spencer Reid / MGG

The Maze Runner

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Spiderman

Barry Allen

Theres a list of who I write best for on my page!! ^^^^

1. "I told you not to read that."

2. "Sir, this is for children only."

3. "Are you kidding me? We're not 'fine'!"

4. "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no!"

5. "Hey... what's wrong with your face?"

6. "You look a lot different from your profile picture."

7. "Are you going to keep walking by my house, or are you going to come in?"

8. "Dude, it's three in the morning."

9. "I can't believe I use to think he was attractive."

10. "Actually, you *are* speaking to the manager."

11. "This isn't going to be a typical best man's speech."

12. "According to this, you owe them eighty thousand dollars."

13. "That's the worst reason I've ever heard to have a baby."

14. "I didn't even recognize you!"

15. "You're Satan."

16. "I need a place to stay."

17. "It's six o'clock in the morning, you're not having vodka."

18. "Safety first. What are you? FIVE?"

19. "This is girl talk, so leave."

20. "You're bleeding all over my carpet."

21. "Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now."

22. "Hold still."

23. "You're not interested, are you?"

24. "Oh honey, I'd never be jealous of you."

25. "I'm telling you, I'm haunted."

26. "Touch her again and I'll break your wrist."

27. "Don't look behind you, hurt that guy is checking you out."

28. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

29. "Quick! Kiss me!"

30. "Just shut up and kiss me."

31. "I hate high school reunions."

32. "I think I picked up your coffee by mistake."

33. "I've never felt this way before... and it scares the shit out of me."

34. "Wait a second, are you jealous?"

35. "This is by far the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."

36. "You never told me you had a fucking twin."

37. "Am I suppose to be scared of you?"

38. "You're hiding something from me."

39. "A wedding?"

40. "Where would someone hide in a town like this?"

41. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

42. "Is this skirt suppose to be this short? I kinda feel like a french whore" *

43. "Oh fuck off."

44. "When did you take that?"

45. "I hid it."

46. "Stop trying to look cool in paparazzi pictures, you look like a dumbass." *

47. "Can you stop laughing?"

48. "You look like a reptile from this angle. Lizard? Snake? Turtle? I just can't decide." *

49. "You have a dirty mind."

50. "You guys are lame."

51. "I don't know. Resurrection maybe?"

52. "This is a safe space." "What the hell are you talking about?" "SAFE SPACE!"

53. "Just stab him."

54. "I'm in dire need of assistance."

55. "I'm gonna die in an elevator full of idiots."

56. "Shoot me."

57. "I feel like you know." *

58. "You're making me dizzy."

59. "I don't want any excuses, they must have the hottest date ever."

60. "Are you with him because it's easy?"

61. "Dibs!" *

62. "If we die, I'm going to kill you."

63. "Do you think you could just go *one* day without pissing me off?"

64. "Your hands are really soft." *

65. "We've become the clingy newlyweds you've always complained about."

66. "Pregnant?"

67. "We are SO much cuter than them."

68. "Wanna go for a drive?"

69. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

70. "Sleep over? Please?"

71. "Are we on a date right now?"

72. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't suppose to see that."

73. "Well I think you're beautiful."

74. "Your feet are so cold!"

75. "You come here often?" "Well I work here, so I'll have to say yes."

76. "You met me yesterday though?" "Yes, and I would die for you in one second. Next question."

77. "I can't stop smiling."

78. "Did you see it?"

79. "Don't leave me alone."

80. "Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

81. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I gonna do?"

82. "How can you drink that stuff?"

83. "Stop apologizing for other people! You aren't the shitty one!"

84. "I just wanna be swept off my feet. Is that so much to ask?"

85. "Oh, my ankle! It must be broken!" *wink wink*

86. "These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaing about your tie you whine ass." *

87. "I don't want to ruin your party."

88. "Could you just come get me?"

89. "Now I have to start counting all over again!"

90. "Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?"

91. "You are very endearing while you are half-asleep."

92. "But I want to hear you sing!"

93. "No- Mom- don't tell him I said that. Wait!" *

94. "And you wonder why you are still single."

95. "Somebodys cranky." "Somebody needs to shut up."

96. "She's hot. But she's evil."

97. "Pinky promise!"

98. "I'd rather jump out that window. But thanks." *

99. "Hello, sunshine."

100. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

BONUS:

Prompts based on things my best friend has said (changed a little bit for context)

1b. "Man, I hope this ice melts soon."

2b. "Holy SHIT the Disney World parking lot is packed."

3b. "Those tree lights are burning my retinas."

4b. "These are fun to work with." "Not to eat." "No!"

5b. "I mean, I could hit a kid with a car."

6b. "You up? I need to call you! It's not bad it's just kinda funny!"

7b. "Wow I can't imagine being that rich! How old are the kids, maybe I can date one."

8b. "The oldest I would go? 98 I think, for money purposes."

Thank you guys so much. I love you all. SEND ME THOSE ASKS!!!

[tumblunni]

I AM MR FITNESS

26/10 Big failure day! I shouldnt have had that caffinated drink yesterday at the big shopping thing cos WOW i was exhausted after so much Accomplishment and then tje caffeine made my sleeping pattern all bad. I woke up late today and it was only 2:30 so i could have theoretically made it to the doctor appointment at 3 but i just got so anxious cos it was such a rush. So i just flaked out on going and i didnt even call them to cancel and im so damn dissappointed in myself aa... This is the first anxiety failure ive had since i left park road...

And then i wasted so much time by waking up late so i felt like it was already too late and i wasmt gonna be able to clean up the kitchen before monday even tho its three days away and i know im being stupid. Just trying to fall into a spiral of failure again!

So umm yeah i only managed to clean 50% of the floor before the sun went down and cos the lightbulb's broken i cant really see enough to clean at night and AAA also i didnt go out today to pay the heating bill cos i felt like id be ashamed walking past the doctors office and knowing i failed.

I just feel like a big pile o fails...

So umm yeah at least i tried to stop procrastinating finishing that google doc about one of my videogame ideas. That's finished now and i shared it with my friends but now i just feel even more on edge waiting for anyone to reply...

Man what a shitty day! Im gonna go wear one of the cute shirts i bought yesterday to try and cheer up. And also cos its freezing cold and i have no heating lol...

Maybe i should try and go on a late night walk just to make this whole day not be a total failure? Aaaa...

I DID EXACTLY THAT

holy fuckin shit i walked 5 kilometres at midnight to find the fuckIN ONLY SHOP STILL OPEN 24 HOURS TO PAY HEATING BILLS

I got a taxi back tho cos i was not only Absolutely Died but also my phone was almost out of battery and i knew i cpuldnt retrace my steps without google maps

I feel weirdly energized and accomplished?? Even though it wasnt anything on my to-do list and it was just a pointless challenge i set myself for literally no reason?? I guess making up a new accomplishment after failing the one i was acrually supposed to do is sort of a way to fight off the self hate. Either that or just its harder to be anxious when you're Exhausted

Anyway i had a nice hot chocolate at The Only 24 Hour Heating Bills Store That Is 5 Kilometres Away, and the taxi driver who helped me get back home was real nice and sympathetic. TOTALLY frustrating to see how quick it is to get back home by car tho! Like under ten minutes and a super cheap taxi ride! He could just go straight there, not spend two hours navigating insane alleyways through people's gardens and mysterious bridges over the river styx. Seriously why is st mellons such a fuckin maze if you wanna get anywhere by foot? Oh well, at least it was mildly more interesting that way. And i can feel accomplished for getting past that Death Bridge despite my fear of even ordinary bridges. I think i just reached the point wher ei was like "fuck im already halfway there, i cant turn back even if it means runnibg over a bridge completely blind and not knowing whats a shadow and what's a hole in the boards". Fuckin hell mate, do some maintenance on that thibg! Or at least install a streetlamp! It wasnt even on the map so wtf did i actually enter a pocket dimension? I also saw the exact same make and model of TV i just threw out, 4 kilimetres away from my house. Like its a friggin 2003 era old crt monitor so what's the friggin odds? Was it the styx of electronics..? Was it ROTOM'S BRIDGE..??

anyway holy fuck im gonna go have THE HOTTEST BATH

[tumblunni]

Baron omatsuri and the secret island traumatizes me yet again, hooray!

Ok wow that was a nostalgia blast! Finally goddamn have a physical copy of this thing to own. Its never been dubbed and the only way to get it was this weird manga UK licensed reprint of a bunch of (i think) hong kong english subtitles. The style of the subtitles looks like that, at least. Its all weird and grainy and very very old fashioned early days of subtitling style, which contrasts completely with the modern dvd menus and box and stuff. And its also a weird combination disc of four different movies, it seems they just bought out a licensing package deal or something? And just baked it onto the disc without checking or editing anything. Its not really a funny sort of bad subtitles though, its just awkward phrasings of thibgs that are hard to understand or random typos or whatever, no legendarily hilarious stuff. I kinda dislike it more when subtitles are like this, when theyre like...actually written by a guy who speaks fluent english but he just never watched the actual movie so theres a bunch of rookie mistakes. Also has a strange case of what you usually only see on fansubs- the obsession with leaving everything in japanese to Sound Cool. Nah we cant call them the Tea Party Pirates we have to say the japanese word for that. Nah we cant have this man say mustache when he's doing the mustache pose and talking about his crew of entirely mustache men who all do this mustache pose NO it has to be Chobehige because its somehow deep and edgy to not understand the word for mustache. Like i feel if i was watching this sub first i would have no idea what was happening! At least its not as bad as that older sub i saw where they insisted on translating friends as "crew", even when it was llike..a singular. This one man is my crew and here are all my other crews! Like i feel like that subber probably originally did that dumb old fandom thing of INSISTING that you had to say Nakama in japanese and Capitalized and it was a Very Important japanese word for specifically pirate friends that was Impossible To Translate. And then they just did a ctrl + F replace on the whole thing and made an incomprehensible mess. Also for some reason sanji just yells DOCTOR out of nowhere (chopper wasnt even in the scene) and baron omatsuri's one syllable "oh" is translated as some long string of what seems to be baseball jargon..?

But ANYWAY the movie is still fuckin awesome and i actually noticed EVEN MORE dark shit and subtle storytelling that i missed when i was a kid! The whole 'small child zombie stares blankly at the place where a sword stabbed through his chest and cant understand why he got back up' scene is EVEN MORE emotionally destructuve than i thought! Cos the subtlety of the voiceacting seems to make the poor kid sound so tired and resigned to it? He's desperately asking and his father figure feeds him the same old lies he's done a million times about how he's totally still alive and everything is fine. Like wow i missed that inplication that this has happened before! And then he kinda sounds like he's actually aware that Baron is lying and he's just pretending to believe him to make him feel better. And then he starts turning back into a corpse and he doesnt panic like muchigoro or not realize whats happening like the grandpas do. He just looks straight at his hand falling apart and tries to lie to Baron to make him feel better. *long shot of him from behind before you see whats happened* "I'm just feeling dizzy again. I've got used to it." *him staring blankly at his body falling apart, not even capable of feeling sad about it anymore* "Don't worry...i've got used to it." *thud*

Like FUCKING HELL this film is the best damn existential horror thing ever and why the FUCK did they market it as a fun happy kids film? it probably would have been way more successful if the twist wasnt kept all twisty, honestly.

And also WOW YEAH theres a lot of stuff thats the subtlest goddamn storytelling in the universe and youd never notice unless you watched this film a million times like i did! Like during the intro when everythibg still seems all fun and cute and normal, the advert for the Totally Innocent Not A Trap Super Secret Island Resort is being read over some random shots of waves and stuff. But then right near the end you see those same shots again and it becomes clear that it was literally the view from Baron's eyes as he was falling from the ship and drowning, desperately trying to keep his head above water and strain his eyes to see if anyone else had survived. All the moments that just looked like camera cuts were actually when his head fell beneath the waves. Thats fuckin amaizng you straight up showed the ending in the beginning and we didnt notice????

Oh and also right before THE FUCKIN TERRIFYING MUCHIGORO DEATH SCENE you see him casually mention being 'sleepy' a few scenes earlier. It just passes by without notice and you think that he's just drunk until he suddenly starts going from comedic slurring to fucking asphixiating and the SKIN ON HIS FINGERS PEELING OFF. Oh hey! Another thing i didnt notice before! FUCKING THAT. A fun game for you on your rewatch! Looking out to find the secret finger horror! Ha ha ha...ha...

Also MAN OH WOW all the subtle signs of Baron getting more desparate throughout the movie and how it seems the time limit for the zombies was almost up and he had to kill these specific pirates right now because he couldnt spare even a few more hours. In retrospect it makes sense how he was slipping up and leaving evidence for the heroes to figure him out. And its just so subtly offputting and strange how he goes from making a big fun performance about the festival early on and then starts subtky rushing through the formalities faster. Like you dont eveb conciously notice the tone is changing until suddenly BAM the full change happens and you realise you missed all those signs! And aaaa its so fuckin sad how you see him come running when muchigoro drops dead and he's like fuckin GET OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT and kneels down next to the body and theb he just..turns emotionless again and goes ITS TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE. It is time. Its now. Shut the fuck up and do it, i dont have time to deal with this shit, just die so i can bring my friend back. (Tho of course you dont know thats why at the time) And then whats most jarring about the whole scene to me is how he's like "okay fuck it theres no more fun theres no more attractions, if youre not gonna play along then the final game is just i shoot your damn head off" WHILE YKNOW STILL STANDING OVER THE CORPSE OF HIS FRIEND AND STARING DAGGERS INTO THEM LIKE ITS THEIR FAULT FOR DARING TO CLING ONTO LIFE and then a fuckin half finished hapoy fun carnival game sign pops up in the backgroubd and everyone walks past it. Why was that somehow both hilarious and terrifying????? Just fuckin 'whoops we had this thing ready to go but alright its murder time i guess' and everyone IS SUDDENLY PACKING HEAT AND RIDDLING OUR HEROES WITH BULLETS???

And also even more subtly Baron just?? Stays with muchigoro?? Like notice how the entirety of the endgame takes place around where the dude dropped dead. And how when mustache pirate guy saves luffy you see Baron just walking in circles around the same area angrily shooting arrows at nothing in complete desperation even though the dude is gone and itd make more sense to run after him. No he stays standing right there and actually looks really damn relieved when luffy comes back, he's like 'holy shit you really were stupid enough to walk right into my trap jesus christ im so glad but also youre a dumbass'. And he fights entirely using arrows at this point so you might not even notice that he barely walks more than just circling a two meter radius of fuckin DEAD BEST FRIEND CORPSE. Which btw blends intonthe shadows for this entire scene and they only draw attention it again after Baron wibs and muchigoro comes back to life. And UGH MY HEART you see him smile genuinely for the firstvtime and he's like 'im so glad youre okay' and muchigoro is like 'haha im more than okay i can do somersaults!' and generally being a FUCKING TREASURE and this poor fuckin horrible evil man is hugging his buddy and gently leading him away from the battlefield so he doesnt norice he was just fuckin murdering some dudes to ressurect him. God the scariest damn thing about this film is how the zombies dont know theyre zombies and honestky they probably wouldnt even agree with their boss's plan to kill people to keep them alive. They justvthink they live a perfectly normal happy life on hapoy festival island, and he wants them to stay that way and never feel pain again :(

Aaaaand then yeah the infamous scene of revealing this horrifying intestines flower is growing out of the flesh on his back and all the corpses its digesting are pushed against the undulating flesh of its throat like a snake devouring its prey. And its cutesy fake flower face grows infinate eyes as it just keeps laughing and laughing. And then it gets graphically blown apart and the poor goddamn parasite host tries to shove the bloody instestines back into its body, knowing that without this horrifying monster chewing on his goddamn veins all his friends will go back to being dead.

THE END

THE FUCKING END

God it ends so abruptly seriously

I still cry my eyes out every time at the ending monologue of Baron dying and meeting all the souls of his dead friends and theyre crying telling him he shouldnt be here, they wish he'd been able to find another reason to live without him...

And then THE END

JAUNTY MUSIC OVER THE CREDITS

THE FUCKIN END I GUESS

What a great but very oddly executed movie. Seriously i feel it could have worked better if it was given space to breathe and more deeply explore the dark themes rather than the weirdness of trying to fool the audience into thinking it was cheerful and innocent. Like all of this shit happens in the last 30 minutes of the movie! They spend 60 minutes on the fun carnival games! What a strange sense of priorities!!

I WOULD DEVOUR A MILLION HOURS MORE OF DEEP SAD ZOMBIE CONTENT

I am like the Lily of fanfics

Oh yeah btw the horrifying deadly elder god spine parasite thing is named Lily and it looks pretty much exactly like flowey from undertale. This film kinda spoiled me for that game LOL ive never trusted a single talking flower ever since!