#man people love this one aye. anyways google it I’m being real here

[sylcries]

Happy pride month chat remember that the lambda is an official symbol of gay and lesbian liberation. Goodnight

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 18: Three’s Company, Four’s Divine

Sources

Ishtar

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Mesopotamia Timeline

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Inanna/Ishtar

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inanna and Enki

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inana's Descent to the Netherworld

Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative: Composite Text of Akkadian Descent of Ištar

Journal of Near Eastern Studies

CON­STRUCT­ING THE IM­AGE OF ASSINNU BY MARTTI NISSINEN SAANA SVÄRD

Further Learning: Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Epic of Gilgamesh, Epic of Gilgamesh: Standard Babylonian Version

Nüwa

Oxford Reference

Mythopedia

Google Arts & Culture

Further Learning: Remarks by Ambassador Cheng Jingye

Danu & Tuatha Dé Danann

The Goddess Danu (YouTube)

Danu - Irish Goddess (YouTube)

Ancient History of Ireland, Tuatha De Danaan, Scythians, and Phoenicians (YouTube)

Celtic Mythology - An Introduction to the Tuatha De Danann (YouTube)

Further learning: House Shadow Drake - Don and Dana, Celtic Myth and Legend, Poetry and Romance, The Sacred Isle: Belief and Religion in Pre-Christian Ireland, Life Understood from a Scientific and Religious Point of View, The History of Ireland

Persephone

Hesiod’s Theogony

Homer’s Hymn to Demeter

Madeline Miller

Further Learning: Lore Olympus (webcomic), Punderworld (webcomic)

Attributions: A Ghrà by Damiano Baldon

Click below for a transcript of this episode!

Haley: Which goddess is three point three seven feet tall? Kelsie: Three point three seven? Haley: Yes. Alana: Do– do you want us to say? Do you want to say? Lexi: These jokes are just a quiz for Kelsie. Haley: I have to have multiple jokes? I'm not ready. Alana: I have one it’s fine. Haley: Okay well it's Demeter. Alana: And you know you should also you know in in in COVID times, in COVID times you should be standing Demeters apart. Lexi: Oh. My. Lord Jesus. Oh my god. I should say oh my lord Ashera [Ash-er-a]. Kelsie: There you go. Alana: Oh, that's very funny. Haley: I love when Alana’s– Alana: Ashera [Ash-ay-ra], actually please. Lexi: Yeah, right. I knew as soon as I said it I said it wrong. Haley: Every couple of episodes Alana will… like Lexi and I will say something, and Alana will be like “oh that's like really funny” in this tone and like… I’m always funny. Don’t be surprised. I don't need this from you. Kelsie: Actually Haley, you're quite hilarious. Haley: Thank you. Lexi: Wait, but how does that tie into social media? Haley: I didn't get to the question yet. The question is because for… well my dad doesn't listen to my podcast, but for my dad is the worst person to get Christmas or birthday presents and his birthday is January 2, so like hop skip and a jump right after Christmas. But he loves board games, and his favorite board game is Codenames, so I have printed out over two hundred photos– like family photos– of the like stupidest photos in the world. And I'm laminating everything so it could be his own Codenames pictures, replacing all of it. Kelsie: That’s good. Haley: And my question is, is there a photo from your childhood where you're like what am I doing but you have that second jolt of like no this actually makes complete sense when you're realizing like what you're doing in the photo? For me it was crouching down in like the seventh grade next to a kangaroo, waking up a kangaroo, and then immediately after getting punched. I also had bangs but it was Australia and humidity or whatever climate that just didn't work with my curly hair. Lexi: So that was a set up so I could say that the picture of me digging up a dinosaur… Which, famously on this podcast I get mad when people think archaeologists dig up dinosaurs. Kelsie: As you should. Lexi: But yes, there is a picture of me, five years old, digging up a dinosaur. Not a real one. I don't think they’d let four year olds do that. Haley: But the best part is the goggles! Lexi: I have goggles on to protect me from the dirt. Kelsie: That’s important. You don’t want to get schmutz in your eyes. Lexi: But I’ve never been on a dig where I wore goggles. Kelsie: Maybe you should. Maybe you should wear goggles next season. Lexi: You know how much acne I’d get around my face if I wore goggles in the heat of Israel? Alana: Yeah, right? Kelsie: Who cares? Alana: No, go to Ireland! [INTRO MUSIC] Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly lady you missed in history class. We're back recording new episodes, so here is Lexi. Lexi, what would you be the goddess of? Lexi: Cross stitching and tricycles. Alana: Do you want to elaborate or just leave it at that? Lexi: Well right now I am cross stitching and it's what I do with my hands when I'm talking because I have mental problems and the only way I can focus on something is to do something else mindless. And the tricycle is because I have an adult tricycle and an anecdote my dad took that tries to go into the bike repair shop to get the brake fixed and he was too embarrassed to say it was his daughter’s so he said his wife bought it for his mother in law. Alana: And I really like that question so I'm also gonna ask Haley. Haley, what would you be the goddess of? Haley: I think I would be the goddess of eggs, just because I would control them and like not take it in because like I don't wanna be the goddess of something like I destroy, so like… Alana: For the irony. Haley: The irony. Eggs. Alana: And it's our third ever guest, Kelsie! Kelsie, tell the listeners a skosh about yourself. Kelsie: Hi everybody I'm Kelsie Ehalt. I am a Master’s student at Brandeis right now and I'm going to go and list the department I'm in. It's just a lot of words, so get ready. But I'm in the joint program in Near Eastern and Judaic Studies and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, those are two different departments, but they both have ‘ands’ which makes things confusing. But basically I study ancient history via texts right now. I do archaeology as well but right now since digging’s not really a thing because we shouldn’t travel because of the pandemic, I'm really focusing on languages for my Masters. And then I also incorporate the gender studies side of things into the equation, so I'm just looking at how gender functions in the ancient world and thinking about it from a not straight white man perspective, basically, because that's basically all that’s been published. And there’s some better scholarship coming out now, but there's still some work to be done so I'm doing what I can there. Alana: We do love all of that. And I'm Alana and I tried to start an all goddess religion when I was like eight. (Haley laughing) Alana: Me and my friend Kay who is one of my like oldest friends in the whole world, they're gonna get a shout out a little bit later as well because they sort of helped me in my research. We like tried to start up polytheistic all goddess religion when we were like eight. We like had a list of goddesses that we wanted to name and we like created little rituals. A great time to be had. Kelsie: Everyone should have just a religion creation phase I think. Alana: Absolutely. We called it Selenism because the main goddess was Selene. Haley is shaking her head at me and it's making me feel… ways. Haley: I love it but also like… Lexi: I feel like I was like writing fan fiction before I knew it was fan fiction, while you simultaneously were making a religion. Haley: Like I'm not surprised that either of this happened. Not surprised at all. Alana: It's a true story, it's a fun story. We kept a lot of ash in bottles… related to this religion that we were making up. Kelsie: Where did you get ash from when you were like… Haley: Yeah, that’s the… Alana: I don't think we still have it, but like we had it for a while. Lexi: No no no, where did you acquire it? Kelsie: What were you burning? Alana: Oh. From like. I don't remember. Haley: No that's a body. Alana: I think we just like burned paper or something and collected the ash. Kelsie: Oh, that’s not exciting. Alana: We played with a lot of fire when I was… Kay and I… we played with a lot of fire. Haley: Yeah! Yes! Yes. Lexi: I don’t know what to say. Haley: No, playing with fire… Wait, were you a Girl Scout too? Alana: No, I was a Daisy for half an hour and then they wanted me to do all this like stupid weird shit like say my own name in a group of people so that was a no no for baby Alana. Alana said no no to being a Daisy. Kelsie: Alright so I'm going to talk about my girl Ishtar today. So Ishtar is the Akkadian name for the goddess of love and war but the Sumerian version of her name is Inanna so I might switch back and forth between Ishtar and Inanna but know that by the later period they're the same person. There's some debate about whether Ishtar was a separate goddess who became then sort of like coagulated in with this earlier Inanna, or if Ishtar is just like a direct connection to Inanna, there's a debate about this, it’s not quite clear. So I’ll probably refer to her as Ishtar. If I mess up and instead of Inanna it’s because I work with the later period stuff so I don't really see Inanna too much. But anyway so Ishtar, Inanna is the Mesopotamian goddess of love and war. And she's depicted in all kinds of different texts, but obviously we have the most interesting sort of goddess information about her from the mythological texts, but she also shows up in legal texts because they're just invoking her to you know validate decisions, things like that. And people in this period, well in Mesopotamia across all periods of history, have personal gods so she’s invoked in sort of just letters too if they're just like “hey bud I'm sending you this thing, you know, good luck, thanks Ishtar or Inanna.” like whatever, she's brought up a lot. But for today I'm gonna focus on a few of the mythological texts because I think that's where we get the most interesting information about who she is as a character in the Mesopotamian religion. So the biggest story, or the story where she has the biggest role, is– the title’s translated, there's not really a title, they don't always title these tablets. But it's translated as the Descent of Inanna or Ishtar into the Netherworld. So I'm gonna give you a little summary of what goes on in that story which is… it's a fun one. I actually– this is one of the first things I– the actual– first actual texts I worked on translating in Akkadian, not just working out of the exercise the book but actually working with text. So I'm gonna tell you the Sumerian version a slightly longer, and there are more details, so I'm gonna tell you that version, and then I can tell you how the later Akkadian versions differ later. So here, Inanna–because this is Sumerian– she's deciding to go down to the netherworld. It's kind of conceived as like a cavern type thing underground so I guess I should go over Mesopotamian cosmogony first so we have Earth here which is where you know humans and mortals lived, and above that is the heavens, which is pretty standard for what modern Abrahamic traditions follow as well. But then beneath the Earth, we have the netherworld or underworld. In Sumerian it’s kur, in Akkadian it's kurnigi… I'll just call it the netherworld. And then between the netherworld and the Earth we have the Apsu, which is sort of this underground water where things happened too, and that's where Enki lives. And that's also– that plays a role in the creation story of Enuma Elish where Tiamat, one of the primordial goddesses who's the goddess of fresh water...? Either freshwater or saltwater I’m forgetting. She mixes with Apsu which is either freshwater or saltwater, whichever one she's not, and they create the other gods from there. So the Apsu is really important because it's sort of the origin point of all of the gods within Mesopotamian… the Mesopotamian pantheon. It's also where Enki lives, and he's one of the head gods too and we'll talk about him some more in the story because he plays a role. Okay so in the Descent of Inanna… so she's going down to the underworld to visit her sister Ereshkigal, who is the goddess of the underworld. I'm forgetting what her name is in Sumerian, it might be still Ereshkigal. But she’s going down to visit Ereshkigal because her husband– Ereshkigal’s husband has died, so Inanna wants to go to his funeral. And before she goes down, she tells her assistant– it's translated as minister in the versions that I looked at– her minister whose name is Ninshubur– I'm not sure about the length of the vowels there, but Ninshubur is Inanna’s like assistant, I'm imagining like a PA. And so Inanna is like “okay Ninshubur, like I'm going down, it's kind of dangerous to go, people don't really go down to the netherworld, so if I'm not back in three days go ask these gods for help.” and she gives a list of gods. First is Enlil, and then Urim, Nanna, and Enki. That's important later because she gives a list of four and it's important that she gives a list of four because the first three don't help her, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Ninshubur is like “okay, great, have a good visit to the netherworld,” and off Inanna goes. So Inanna goes down, she’s stopped by the gatekeeper… and the gatekeeper says “hold up, what are you doing here and why are you here?” And so Inanna says “I'm visiting my sister because her husband died and I want to go to the funeral” and he's like “okay let me go ask her.” So he goes and asks Ereshkigal if it’s okay and Ereshkigal is concerned because before Inanna went down, she got these powers. And the powers are manifest in physical objects. So she gets a ring that has some sort of special power, and this lapis lazuli necklace that has a power, and there are seven other– seven total things, so five other things that have powers. And so Ereshkigal knows that Inanna brought these and she's concerned about them because there's a sort of not trusting dynamic between them even though they are sisters. So Inanna’s like okay you can let her in but close all seven gates and only open one at a time to let her in, and each gate take one of her things. So she goes through it's the same sort of structure throughout, in the Sumerian. And she goes to one gate, they take her ring. She goes to the second gate, they take her hat or whatever. And it goes on for seven gates. And then she gets to the last gate, they let her in, and basically it was a trap. Speaker 0: They… it's kind of confusing. The Sumerian is not really clear on what exactly happens. But I've sent Alana the link to the translation that I looked at, and so you can read it too if you want to see– Alana: That will be in our show notes at ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. Kelsie: Yeah. So I used the version that the… the Electronic Corpus of Sumerian Literature version which is trans– it's sort of a… It's a compilation of some different translations but it's a pretty standard not too fluffy interpretive translation, so I thought it was pretty good. But basically… so she gets the last gate and then they start yelling at Inanna and then she turns into a corpse and they put her on a hook. I'm not exactly sure what the process of these things are, but I’m imagining they're yelling at her and she just sort of like desicates and like dries up and they like put her on a hook. The motivation isn't super clear, I think, and some of the tablet is broken, so there… we might be missing some of the context, of course. And you know, of course, something important happens in a break, that's always the case, it’s never something boring. So maybe there’s some sort of other story, and maybe it's orally transmitted, detailing the drama between Ereshkigal and Inanna. Maybe there's a more specific reason why Ereshkigal does not trust Inanna and therefore wants to take her powers and then trick her to stay in the netherworld. Anyway, so Inanna's dried up, on a hook, and then three days passed and so Ninshubur, you know, being the loyal personal assistant, realizes three days have passed and Inanna’s not back, so she's like “oh shit, I better go get help.” So she goes to the first person that Inanna told her to ask for help from, Enlil. Enlil says “no, I’m not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Urim, Urim says “no I'm not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Nanna, and Nanna says “no, I’m not helping.” And finally she goes to Enki, who in some versions of myths is Inanna’s father. And in this version he… the wording is that he is her father, but we have to be careful with the wording about like familial relations in Near Eastern text because sometimes they’re just using them to describe power dynamics, not actual biological relations. So even though Enki here is you know referring to Inanna as his daughter, it might just be a power dynamic thing rather than a biological relation. That's not super clear, but in other versions of the story he’s also depicted as her father so I think that's fair enough to go for the narrative. But anyway, he’s like “okay fine I'll help, what is Inanna doing?” And so Ninshubur explains that she went down to the netherworld and is stuck. So Enki's like “okay I have a plan.” So he makes these two figures and these are gonna come up later because these figures are what I'm doing my thesis on. He takes dirt from his fingernail and he makes a kurgarru and in the Sumerian it’s galutera. In later Akkadian is just galu. But these two figures– and I’ll explain a little bit more later when I talk about what I'm doing for my thesis– there are some interesting gender performance things going on with these figures. But right now I’ll just leave them as helpers that Enki makes from dirt from under his fingernail. And he gives one of them a plant and he gives one of them water, and he’s like “okay, go down to the netherworld, and give… you're gonna see a corpse, and it's gonna be confusing, but that corpse is your queen.” So I love that saying, because he's like “you’re gonna see this dead body” so he knows what happened already, which I don't understand how that happened. But he's like “you're gonna see this corpse, give her the water, give her the food, and you'll be okay.” They go down, they give Inanna the water and the plant, and she– I assume like somehow revives. And I’m imagining like a sponge, like they put the water on her and like I said before, like I’m imagining like the yelling like desiccated her, so there was sort of like… like soaking up the water. And so okay… she's like “okay I'm fine now.” So they start to leave, and these two demons stop them, the group of three who are leaving, so there’s five of them now. And they say “well, no one ever leaves the netherworld, so you need to send someone to replace you.” And she's like “okay, who do you want” and they're like “we want your assistant” and she's like “no she's too loyal” and then they're like “we want your manicurist” and she's like “no she's too good” and then they're like “what about your husband” and Inanna’s like “okay sure, I guess.” There's some other stories about her husband Demuzi, that it was an arranged marriage too so Inanna is like not too keen on her husband. But so anyway, so the demons go to take Demuzi, and he's like “oh no, I don't want to go to the netherworld.” So he talks to his brother Utu, who lives in the heavens, and he's like “Utu, turn my limbs into snakes so I can escape the demons” and Utu is like “okay, that sounds like a good idea.” And so he turns his limbs into snakes, and he escapes the demons. And then the last part of the story is really fragmented, so I have no idea what's going on, but apparently Demuzi escapes, and then some other things happen, and then Inanna talks to a fly…  like a bug, a fly, who says “I know where your husband is, we can go find him.” And then apparently the fly helps her– it's broken so it's hard to know and then the story ends somewhere there. But that's the short, sort of humorous version of the Sumerian version of the descent of Ishtar, or Inanna, rather. And then the Akkadian version is a lot shorter, it leaves out a lot of the details of… it doesn't have the story afterward, after they leave the netherworld and the demons are trying to take someone back to replace Inanna, the Akkadian version doesn't have that. One of the notable things but the Akkadian version, I think, and this sort of links into my master's thesis, which I’ll get to in a second, is that when Ishtar, in this case since we're talking about the Akkadian, is stuck in the netherworld, there's a whole series of lines repeated twice or three times where it's like all of the animals and humans aren't having sex anymore. And things are bad. And so that's how they know that something's wrong with Ishtar, instead of the assistant sending people down to help, other people realize that something's wrong, which I think is interesting. And then, you know, then she gets back and it's okay. But yeah. So, to talk about my thesis a little bit. So I'm focusing on a couple different figures in the cult of Ishtar, the main ones I'm focusing on is the assinnu. The assinnu is the syllabic spelling of it in Akkadianin but there's also a logogram which in Sumerian is sagg or sag. That one you see sometimes the other one is urmunis which is literally man-woman. Haley: Fun fact, sag in Farsi is dog. Kelsie: Oh, really? Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: In Sumerian it’s head or like top. Haley: Oh that's fun. I was ready for you to be like wolf. Kelsie: No, it's the same as the Arabic it's kelb, kelbum in Akkadian. Anyway, so I think there's definitely something going on interesting gender-wise with these figures, and so actually I first came up with this topic because I was reading the descent of Ishtar in Akkadian, not the Sumerian version. But my first semester of Akkadian, and my professor was a PhD student and we got to a part where– the part where in the Akkadian version, Ea instead of Enki makes an assinnu. And it's the word assinnu in the Akkadian version, but it’s kurgarru and galla in the Sumerian version, but these are all kind of related. I'm throwing words out, I’ll explain the difference– and also the difference isn't super clear, so if you’re confused between them, everyone is. There's not a clear distinction between these roles that we found in the textual evidence so far. But I was like “okay what's an assinnu” because I never heard that word before, that's not a common word in Akkadian and he’s like “oh, it's like a third gender person” and like that raised red flags in my gender studies brain, I'm like okay like whenever you categorize something as third gender without any other discussion there's something interesting going on there. So I started reading some more about what people had written about the assinnu and it turned out to be pretty gross because as we all know being archaeology students and students of the ancient world, it's all white straight man… cis straight men writing about basically everything and so that's the case with gender as well, unfortunately. And so in all these different translations of texts, the assinnu are translated from everything as like cultic prostitute, to eunuch, to impersonator– all these gross words that I think… one, just really limit the conversation that you could have about gender in these figures because you're placing so many modern assumptions on them just with the single word that you're using, and two, especially words like eunuch and cultic prostitute like there's no textual evidence to support these interpretations anyway. So it's all this secondary scholarly interpretation being placed on these figures where you know there's not many textual instances of them, so it's hard to say what exactly is going on but there's not specific evidence for castration or prostitution. For my thesis I’m basically going through and writing about how the word assinnu and kurgarru and galu and kalu have been translated by scholars, and then going back and seeing like what can we figure out in terms of their gender performance from the actual textual evidence that we have, as opposed to just going to these simplistic, interpretive labels. And my proposition, too, at the end is to not translate words like that because any translation that we have is going to simplify the role of these figures and I think just leaving it in the Akkadian leaves more room open for describing the things that they did and leaving it open because we don't know a lot about them, and just leaving that sort of gray area there instead of just labeling them one thing or another. But yeah so that's what I'm working on for my thesis, and all of these figures are associated with Ishtar specifically. And I think there is something interesting there because of Ishtar’s liminality herself because she's the goddess of love and war and those are two kind of opposite things. And her own gender performance is kind of somewhere in between this binary because sometimes she's portrayed in cylinder seals and things with a beard, and her animal is a male lion, or a lion with a mane, at least. I mean there are female lions with manes too. So I think Ishtar herself has some interesting gender things going on, so it makes total sense that her cultic functionaries, her cultic personnel, also had some interesting gender things going on too. So I'm just trying to figure out what exactly we can say about what's going on within her temple. There’s not a lot of evidence, but just trying to figure out what's going on. Lexi: I love it. I love your thesis. Haley: My mind is blown. Lexi: I really struggled to settle on a lady for this episode because I wanted to do something interesting but I didn’t want my lady to be from the same region as like another lady that was already being covered by one of you in this episode and that's– the regions you are familiar with are the regions I am familiar with because we had the same professors. So I had to branch out of my comfort zone and explore a person I had never explored– well, a god I never explored because this is goddesses. So I did what any sensible person would do and I reached out to my sister– sorority sister, for everyone who's been following along. And I would like to thank my sister Amber for suggesting this lady. It was a very good suggestion. So I'm talking today about Nüwa. Clarification, as always, I do not speak Chinese, so that's the best that it’s going to get but it's probably not totally correct but do with that what you will. I speak Korean, not Chinese. Alana: Have I been Jewish yet? Have we said Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots yet? We got to get all three. Lexi: You got them in. We got them in. Nüwa is the mother goddess of traditional Chinese mythology, so you know we know of a lot of other mythologies from other parts of the world and there often is a mother figure… you know, a matriarch among the deities if you know what I mean. So she's that but in China. And her name is made up of two characters, nu which means woman and wa which is a unique character that is only a part of her name, so that's how it distinguishes her from women in general, it's Nu-Wa. And she is the sister and wife of emperor god Fuxi. And Fuxi is the god who created hunting and cooking, which is a fun combo like hunt then cook? Not vegan, but very relevant to each other. She is often depicted as a serpent, and it's her body is the figure of a serpent and she has a woman's head. And she is capable of shape shifting into anything she wants so she can change how she appears. And let me just say she looks really dope, like what a vibe, check out our Instagram, I’ll put up a picture there, or Google her, but I'm obsessed with the different looks that she has. In some depictions she's just drawn as a woman in traditional Chinese dress, which is hanfu and that's slightly less cool but like chill. And in the traditional Chinese creation story Nüwa created humankind from the earth. And we see this in a lot of creation myths. If you know of creation myths from around the world, a lot of times like the physical earth or clay or dirt is related to the creation of humankind. So the story goes that one day she was walking through the woods and she found the woods to be so beautiful that she was sad that she couldn't share the beauty with others. She wanted someone else to enjoy the beauty of the earth. So she decided to create humans from the clay around the river. So she stopped at the riverbank, she picked up the clay, and she's like “I can make humans out of this.” And it is said that she made the aristocracy, like the aristocratic class from yellow clay from the riverbank, and the lower classes were made from mud. And so Nüwa made the upper classes with her hands, she molded them, but her hands got tired and so she picked up a rope and she dipped in the mud, swung it around over her head, and the mud that dropped off became the lower classes. So there is a class distinction in this story, I assume it was at one point in history perpetuated by the upper classes to justify like the class divide in their society but that's how the story goes. And there are several versions that story with varying details so if you are curious to go explore it there are texts about her written in Chinese and Vietnamese and a couple other Asian languages, so if you speak any of those and want to go read it, feel free. But that's the general basic… things that seem to be true in every version of the story. She is credited with defeating the evil water god who is depicted as a black dragon and is named Gonggong, which… I love that name too, like I love the double syllable situation. It's like you could call a pet that, but I guess not since he's an evil water god, maybe it's not good luck to name your pet after him. And Gonggong he’d ripped a hole in the sky when he was battling another god– it was the fire god, so the water and fire god were like [fighting noises] you know? That was not good podcast audio, but they were going at it, him and the fire god. Alana: How am I supposed to transcribe that? Lexi: Ahhh noise! Kelsie: Throw in some vowels and some Hs. Lexi: They were going at it. And they were fighting. And Gonggong ripped down one of the pillars, which is a mountain. He ripped it down, and the sky got a big hole in it. This is a big problem because the sky protected the people from like crazy weather phenomena, so like rain, tsunami, crazy kind of like… crazy crap was happening in the sky. And so she repaired the hole and saved the humans because she loved them because they were her creation, and versions of the story also differ, with one suggesting that she died of exhaustion because she was so tired because she had like held up the sky and put it back together. But she saved humankind, so it was like her last great feat. And another version suggests that she could not repair the sky with just the material she had, so she herself became stone and put the sky back together. So there’s either the version of her dying of exhaustion or her actually becoming the material to repair the sky. Either way, this is her final story so she sacrifices herself to save humankind from Gonggong's mistake. Kelsie: Wait, so with the second version where she is repairing the sky herself is there like an astrological sort of connection to her then? Is there like a constellation representing her? Lexi: That's a good question. No source I read specifically dictated that. Particularly I think because she tends to be associated with the day, but I am unsure. There might be a constellation related to her. She's technically the goddess of marriage and fertility. Chinese religion has really changed over time, but despite that, Nüwa has remained an important figure to many people in China. There are many temples and shrines that are dedicated to her and preserved in her honor, including one that is seen as the ancestral shrine of all humanity, so she's very central in like the identity structure of China. And some women in China today pray to Nüwa for assistance in issues of fertility or marriage, so like if you want a husband you're supposed to go and be like “Nüwa! Give me a man!” and if you want to have a baby, you're supposed to go to Nüwa and be like “Nüwa! Birth me a son!” and so on and so forth. In addition to her role in religion, she also features prominently in pop culture in China and other parts of Asia. She has been a character in three video games, so you can go play Nüwa. I don't know exactly how these video games work, I have not played them. But if that's your jam, Google it. And in numerous television shows and films, there's films that depict all the different stories surrounding her and other deities so she factors into those stories too, and there have been film adaptations specifically of the sky fixing story. And on Earth Day in 2012, a statue of Nüwa created by a Chinese professor was revealed in Time Square as a representation of the importance of protecting the ozone layer because the theme of that year's Earth Day was the ozone layer. And so the ozone layer protects humans and is similar to the sky and Nüwa in her stories… so the statue is of her holding up a piece of the sky… Nüwa holding a piece of the sky…  and she's holding that up and that represents the ozone layer and the fact that we need to keep the ozone layer safe, so as you would give to Nüwa and worship Nüwa you should worship and protect the ozone layer… so on and so forth. Very very cool. And the statue was later moved to Vienna and I've included in the further reading the transcript of the speech that was given when the statue was installed in Vienna which is now where it lives forever, so it's really interesting if you're into that kind of thing. And also I will include a link to the Google Arts and Culture page that describes the statue and you can learn more about the statue and what it's made of if you like that kind of thing and what it looks like. Haley: I was having like a mental identity crisis with who I was gonna pick, and I was on TikTok, of course, scrolling through like just for inspiration. And I came on for my like For You Page. I think that's what it's called, the youths call it, a fun story about Danu and Tuatha Dé Danann. I really… Okay, so this is Irish mythology that we're doing a deep dive into, and I asked Robert how to pronounce these, and of course I forgot. So in Irish mythology, Danu, meaning the flowing one or the divine one who brings all things into being, is associated with both masculine and feminine things which is like right on. However, every time I pick– like, I couldn't decipher like, discern whether she was representation– like if you looked at her while she had her pronouns, or assuming from scholars now she/her pronouns, if she would represent both masculine and feminine or if she is just associated with because she's the divine one who brings all things into being. Because when you look at her it's– I put a lot in the further reading but I used a lot of YouTube videos of the people who are like kinda amateur experts in this… certainly not myself. And a lot of the representation that they put up were very feminine goddess like. Like very nature-esque, flowing long hair, flowing skirts and dresses, or sometimes like a warrior but really like honing in on that feminine side. And that's just my tangent. So she is also like the earth goddess of fertility and growth, abundance, agriculture, as well as intellect, change, and wisdom– and a whole host of others. She just does it all, apparently. She's also like the hypothetical mother goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann which is what I'm also going to talk about. But before that, because this group of people, the Tuatha Dé Danann, which is Old Irish for the people of the goddess of Danu and the anai– the A. N. A. I. within the name means wealth and that's kind of strange because this… when I'm reading Danu is D. A. N. U. and that’s not found in any like medieval Irish text which was kind of like a point in time where people were like okay it's not in this period and afterwards type of situation. That goes for a lot of her myths and legends. And if you let me nerd out for a sec, let's go into some etymology of the name Danu. Scholars believe that the name Danu is the nominative form and the genitive form is Danann, spelled as like D. A. N. A. N. N. or D. O. N. A. N. D. or D. A. N. A. N. D., which is seen in the primary sources, that’s also how the name Tuatha Dé Danann is spelled. It's the D. A. N. A. N. N., the genitive form of Danu. Again, with these people, they are the people of the goddess of Danu. And this is the story that I'm actually gonna focus on because spoiler it's great and it's also one of the most well known sources, just if you like do a Google search this is the one that keeps popping up with her. And it's about how… basically Ireland was kind of populated. So opening our book to a short story, while there are a bunch of little stories like within this one story, I'm kind of like lumping it all up. And in Irish mythology  Tuatha Dé Danann were the first people or tribe in Ireland. Since they're supernatural and they're not necessarily human but they are human, the way they arrived to Ireland was like via dark clouds and mist which also gets strange because they landed on Connacht. Am I saying that right, Alana? Alana: Connacht. Haley: Connacht. Alana: C. O. N. N. A. C. H. T.? Haley: Yes! Yes ma’am. Alana: Connacht. Yeah Haley: Which is on the west side of Ireland. And this is where– Alana: It's– throwback to episode two, that is around where Gráinne Ní Máille was born and lived and did her pirate-y thing. Haley: Exactly. So this is like why it gets weird, why I say it's like they arrived via dark clouds and mist because they also had boats. So when I was first reading this, I was expecting like people coming out of like dark mist and clouds because clouds are in the sky! But I think now like boats come along with it, so there might be spaceship boats or like water boats. But– Alana: Like in Treasure Planet. Haley: Exactly! That’s what I was thinking. Lexi: Ancient Aliens? The aliens brought boats down and created the Irish people? Haley: NO. Alana: No no no no. Treasure Planet. Treasure Planet is the analogy that we are going with, Treasure Planet. Haley: Yes. And when they arrived, they supposedly burned the boats, hence forcing them to settle in the land they like docked. Which made little to no sense-tentacles, because you literally like, again, rode in like a cloud of mist. And also I want to know when they settled, and they were like “okay, we have food, water, shelter. Let's burn them boats.” And that's fine, that's a great tradition, I'm not like saying for the tradition. But what if, like, if it was immediate, how did you know that was like a suitable habitat? Because like wouldn't you say “oh, we don't have like one of the three basic needs, four, five basic needs that we need, let's get back on our boats and travel around.” These are also supernatural beings and I'm just overanalyzing mythology. That's what I do. Also once they were settled, so like post-burning boats, I guess… It was said that they stayed there for centuries. And for the archaeologists and all of us here part of the myth that is the ring forts, are also called like the fairy forts… Alana is making a face. And that's because that– Alana: I dug a ring fort! Haley: Connection to you and Susan. Probably Susan, why I know this story. So– Alana: This is the Susan Johnston appreciation episode part two. Haley: I actually have a book that she gave me right next to me on my desk, I have with my library background. Anywho, the fairy forts are like often called fairy forts because the Tuatha Dé Danann used them as portals to another like world. And side note, if a human were to happen across the portal they would be forced to dance until they went mad. Honestly, that’s just like… I read that and it was also kind of like– Lexi: What a way to go. Haley: Exactly. Kelsie: It wouldn't take very long for me, like you know twenty minutes I'm gone. Haley: I know! I was like I can dance through like one album of ABBA but like if we get into an album of the Beatles I might like cease to exist. Alana: (Gagging noise) I hate the Beatles. Famously I hate the Beatles. Haley: Rude. And then she is on a podcast with like one of the best Beatles lovers ever. Lexi, right there and then I’m like a– Alana: I hate the Beatles. I think they're overrated. I think it's just like mediocre white men getting more credit than they deserve. Lexi: Well, Sergeant Pepper takes your note and kindly throws it out.The bird. Haley: He took a nice poop on it. Alana: That's fine. Whatever. Haley: Okay so back to my story, because it’s about me right now. We all went mad. And then lastly, this is my last note, so when the Celts invaded, the legend goes that they all turned themselves into fairies, hence, fairy forts! And then they keep watch over the land. That's them. That's Danu. Kelsie: What's the– I don't know if you know this, and maybe I… maybe there’s not an answer, but what's the significance of… between fairies and circles around things? Like when I think of like– like I know about ring forts, I didn't realize there was a connection to fairy forts. But then like winding up like fairies and circles like… Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: Mushrooms, like that’s also a circle-y thing on the ground. Is that a bigger thing? Haley: So, the circle is like the portal, and the reason why it's called fairies is that the legend says they turned into fairies. So it's like fairy forts, that’s their fort. Kelsie: That makes sense. Haley: That's the most I can tell you. I'm sure there's more. There are a lot of YouTubers out there. Lexi: Also, circles is magic. Alana: I'm talking about Persephone the Greek theological figure, ancient Greek. I identify with her very strongly because I also contain multitudes. There is a poem by Nichole McElhaney who is the author of A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance, a book that apparently just like does not exist, because I cannot find it in print anywhere. But the poem goes “Do not worry about your contradictions - Persephone is both floral maiden and queen of death. You, too, can be both.” And I love that. But apparently like the book doesn't exist Nichole McElhaney has a couple of other poetry books with really interesting cool names similar to A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance. She is also known as Proserpina in Rome, and also known as Kora or Kore, which means maiden. And she becomes Persephone when she is like queen of the underworld which we will get to… the stuff that you might know… because of the Percy Jackson series. So in Homer's Hymn to Demeter… Homer's Hymn to Demeter is kind of the primary source we have for the story of Persephone being taken to the underworld. Homer describes her as slim-ankled, which my friend Kay, shout out Kay, who I brought up earlier, we tried to make a religion together, they are an expert in classical literature and they said that that probably meant like a graceful or delicate or something along those lines. So the story is Hades saw her in a field, abducted her, and took her to the underworld and like made her his queen and something about pomegranate seeds, that he forced her only one in Homer’s hymn. It’s only like one seed. You hear it like three or six other places, but in Homer it's just one. Here's what you might not know about that myth, according to Homer. Hades had Zeus’s permission to do this, but not Demeter’s, who is Persephone’s mother. And Demeter goes searching all over like the whole world for Persephone, and everyone saw what happened– like the sun god saw what happened and was like yeah we're not gonna help you because like basically they said she could do a lot worse as far as a husband goes. She's like queen of the underworld right now. I think like that's a pretty good deal… you know Hades isn't going cheating on his wife like someone we know. Zeus. But according to Homer, one pomegranate seed meant three months in the underworld. Anyway Persephone– this is a really short story I'm sorry– Persephone. She is part of the agrarian triad which is a group of three agricultural slash harvest deities with Demeter and a god called Triptolemus. Kelsie: Lexi would call this an agricultural throuple. Alana: That's an excellent point. I don't think there is any evidence for that but I do like the idea of it being a throuple. So Persephone as queen of the underworld kind of gives a more pleasant face to the concept of death and the afterlife, so it kind of like helps Hades’s reputation and there's not as much stigma about it because yeah you're dying but look the goddess of spring is also queen of the underworld, so that's pretty cool. Now I'm going to cede the rest of my time to modern reinterpretations that are all written by women or some other marginalized group. The only one whose like gender I don't know is married to a man and cis straight men don't marry other men by definition, so this person is marginalized in some other way. I don't know if they know that, but it's really cool story. So first of all, Hadestown. Wow. Anais Mitchell. It's beautiful. It's jazzy. It's so much fun. It's Hades and Persephone but they've like fallen out of love after so long and also the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice is in there. I want a live recording of it– it's a Broadway show– I want a live recording of it the way that Hamilton has been. I think that is what we deserve. There is also a couple of webcomics, the first one is Punderworld, which has a very– why are you shaking your head Kelsie? Kelsie: It’s such a bad pun and it has pun in the word! Alana: It’s a bad pun and it has pun in the word. It's a very realistic art style, there are not a ton of episodes, one of them made the rounds on tumblr while ago if you were still there. And it takes place in a more realistic like ancient Greek Olympian kind of setting. Links to the webcomics by the way will be in further learning which is what I've been calling it lately because it's not always reading. The other one is called Lore Olympus. There are a lot of episodes of this one. It is more whimsical but also somehow grittier? Like all the characters are kind of color-coded. Athena has a very androgynous, ace, butch lesbian vibe like someone else in the Zoom right now. So it’s like Olympus is a modern city, but the mortal realm is still in ancient Greece. It's really cool, I was up until five AM last night reading it because I just like gave up and was like I just have to read this. Shout out to my friend Em who told me about those webcomics. Also Madeline Miller, who wrote Circe which was an incredible book and Song of Achilles which I haven't read yet, wrote a really cool piece about Persephone several years ago that basically ends with if Madeline Miller were Persephone we would always have winter because she loves pomegranates so much and that is a mood. Lexi: I love that you brought up Percy Jackson because it always bothers me but there are so many cool modern literary takes on a lot of these things but that's the one that had to get famous? Haley: I'm rereading and I finished the Percy Jackson series, forgot how much like I invested myself into it. I think I only read like the first book and like half of the second because I don't remember the third, fourth, fifth but I have the next series which is like… Alana: The Heroes of Olympus or something? And it’s the Roman? Haley: Maybe. I think that's the next one. Alana: I read the first four Percy Jackson books in a weekend, and I would have read the fifth one in a weekend but it was not out yet. Lexi: I was a fan of them as a child. Alana: I was in like fourth grade. Lexi: Yeah probably fourth grade. But my mom decided I was still a fan of them and for my twenty third birthday I asked for a single ticket to go see Hamilton by myself, but for the same price my mother bought four tickets to see Percy Jackson the Musical. Picture this– Haley: Wait, where was it first? Lexi: It was on Broadway. I mean a real Broadway– Haley: They had Broadway? Lexi: Yes. Picture a thirty two year old gay twink dancing around the stage pretending to be a twelve year old boy. Alana: That just sounds like the Percy Jackson Lightning Thief movie. Lexi: Yes. Alana: But with singing. Haley: To be fair Logan Lehrman because I– Alana: Oh, Logan Lehrman is incredible. Lexi: Also, I won't spoil the musical, the musical's gone now it doesn't run anymore, but in case they ever do another iteration and people want to see I won’t completely spoil it. But it is written where there's only a cast of eight people but all the characters are covered by those eight people, and so there are some weird interesting things where that really take you out of the story because like they have to do double duty as characters and all they do to change is like throw on a jacket. Haley: Is it just the first book? Lexi: Yes and no like how the movie was the first book, but like not. You know I mean? Haley: Yeah. Lexi: It's not a truthful direct adaptation. The songs were like “when your dad’s a god, your dad's a god. The one other thing I want to say about it is my brother and I had both for the books as kids and were like okay we'll go see this as like a family thing, whatever. During the intermission, a girl behind us who was probably maybe fourteen or fifteen would not shut up about Percy Jackson to her family and my brother leaned in and was like if we’d come here seven years ago that would have been you. And I mean probably. But to that team who put that on. Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself. Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History. Haley: Next week on Lady History, she’s going to blind us with some science. We're doing a deep dive into the women of twentieth century science. Haley: We good. Alana: Amazing.

[ravenclaw-craftsgirl]

Lilian - Year One

Part 1 Part 2 Rating: G Foreword: This story uses the fanmade idea of Rowan Khanna being the name of Two Twins (The Twin Khannas) Using their middle names to distinguish themselves. Research has been done ahead of time, with certain instances purposely being different. 

I will pre-translate all of Lilian’s french for Mobile users! 

Enjoy!  Here’s the original Google Doc Link for those who enjoy proper formatting

The morning was warm over London’s suburbs. The sun shone over the road as a young girl surrounded by several children in a house’s driveway. Each were chatting individually while two stood nearby with a timer as they watched. “Come on, Lil, ya got it!” 

“Ye can do it!” they cried as the young brunette quickly reassembled a bikes assembly from scratch after having just polished them. Within a minute, she was done. “Woah, that’s thirty seconds faster!” The boy holding the stopwatch exclaimed, while the girl watching merely shouted in celebratory victory for her friend. The two helped the other up as a group of girls walked past and started laughing. “Oh look, La Rude is in the dirt plating with the boys again. Guess she didn’t get the memo that Girls don’t do that.” The leader of the group shouted, as the others laughed and chided in their obnoxiously high voices. “<It is rather rude to deny my talents. Only an idiot would degrade someone for doing something she likes.>” Lilian Le’Reau replied with a smirk. Several of the girls simply looked among themselves, confused and worried at what Lilian had just said. The leader simply frowned and stuck her tongue out before snapping her fingers, signalling for the others to continue wherever they were trying to go. “I don’t know why you put up with her, Lilian. She’s always such a jerk.” Lilian simply shrugged, pulled the hair tie out from her ponytail and shook her head. She grinned as her hair fell past her shoulders “Because I know I can make fun of her in french without her tattling.” With that sentiment, the kids all boarded their bikes and rode down to the nearest Football field to play a game.

It wasn’t until much later that day when Lilian finally rode home. The sun was barely touching the horizon as Lilian was riding. Suddenly a flash of black as an Owl suddenly appeared on Lilian’s handlebars. “<WHAT THE HECK>!” Was all she could say before she jerked the front wheel to the side out of reaction, causing her to crash into her yard. Covered in sweat and dirt, Lilian sat up and groaned as she looked at the bent front axle of the bike she had bought. “Mama is going to kill me. And what was… that.” The owl simply turned to her and spun it’s head around, almost in a form of acknowledging the wreck that had just happened. Even more curious than the owl itself was the letter in its beak. Addressed to her home… with her name… Lilian carefully reached out to the owl to take the letter, careful to not potentially spook the creature. Thankfully she didn’t have a problem, with the owl only flying away once Lilian had the letter. “ ‘From the office of Hogwarts’ Huh? <What are you>?” She then stood up and hissed with pain as she saw her shin, scrapped and bloody from the crash. Thankfully she didn’t have to walk far as she took her bike into the garage before walking into the house.

Once inside, and after treating her injury, Lilian sat in the living room with her pet cat Eleanor as she opened the letter. The letter itself looked old, yet she opened it anyway and pulled out the letter inside. “ ‘Dear Mrs. Le’Reau, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’? <What is that>?” 

Lilian continued reading through the letter, not noticing until she was nearly tackled by her cousin that the front door had opened. “Whatcha got there, Lil? Some love letter o’ some blighter lookin ta court ye?” Abbigail Mckinley said, big grin on her freckled face. Lilian smiled, rolling her eyes as the back of her hand smacked Abby on the arm. “<Stop that>, Abby. It’s some letter for some place called-” “Hogwarts school o’ Witchcraft an Wizardry. Glad ta see you finally got the letter. Was startin ta wonder if they sent it through the Post.” 

Lilian looked up to see her uncle Rorick standing with his hat and coat alongside her father, Daniel Le’Reau. “Well, It would seem you were right, Rorick. Glad I didn’t bet anything on that.” 

“Bah, I won in spirit, Danny. Ye just don wanna admit it.” Rorick said with a nudge of his elbow. “Wait, what is Hogwarts? Why did I get this letter?” Lilian asked, perplexed by her father’s casual acceptance of this… Wizard letter? 

“Ah ye see love… This is a letter for you to learn how ta be a witch like Abby here. Learn how to use your magical talent. Like yer normal school now, but with all the fairytale happenin’s ye’re so fond of.” Rorick said as he took a seat. Lilian simply stared at the letter, dumbfounded by this revelation and everything else that Rorick had to explain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lilian walked through the sliding brick wall, mesmerized and afraid at the same time. It was only a month ago in July that she had learned about Magic from her uncle and cousin, let alone seeing it in action. How else was she supposed to be taking this kind of information? Just accept that her favorite childhood stories could be real? That Eragon could possibly have existed in some way shape or form? That Lord of the Rings could have actually been a real battle covered up? 

“Lil? Oi, cous, ye’er me?” 

Lilian snapped back to reality, hearing her cousin’s voice. “<Excuse me>, it’s just...So much to deal with, Abby…” Abbigail simply grinned, pulling Lilian along. “Come on now, we’ve only jus started!” 

The two went about, purchasing whatever they needed for school with Rorick nearby. The Auror simply smiled, following behind the two as he put all of their supplies in his bag. Thankfully, and mercifully, it was enchanted with an undetectable extension charm. He simply smiled as they went around with some money, buying what all they needed while he went to buy the rest of their school supplies that they would need. 

Abby and Lilian continued walking around for a while, Abby finally letting go of her arm, when she bumped into someone causing them both to spill. “<I am really sorry! I should have watched where I was going!>” Lilian started speaking as she quickly scrambled to pick up the books and other supplies before they were ruined by the streets. Lilian had nearly picked up all of the books when she noticed the other girl simply staring, wide eyed with wonder at her. Lilian suddenly wished she didn’t have her hair in a ponytail, feeling very self conscious of herself until she heard the girl speak. “That… That was French! Oh my goodness you’re so fluent! I wish I'd be able to learn french! Oh uh, Sorry if I didn’t understand it though. I’m good with books, but not people. Sorry for bumping into you!” The odd girl with round glasses smiled as she stood up with Lilian and took back her books. “I’m Rowan Hubei Khanna! Pleasure to meet you…?”

“Aye, Tha’s me cousin Lilian, an I’m Abby McKinley!” Abby said with a big grin as Lilian stood by her side and nodded, smiling slightly to be polite. “<H-hello>…” Abby turned to Lilian confused and then realized. “Oh right, ya switch ta French when yer nervous. Sorry fer that, Rowan. Ya shoppin for Hogwarts too?” As if to answer Abby’s question, the three see a young man, his complexion and demeanor almost the same as Rowan’s. “Hubei, little help! I’m tipping I’m tipping!” He cried as he tripped on a loose stone, toppling his books and a couple of other boxes over the trio. The boy sat up and rubbed his head before readjusting his glasses. “Oh, are we making introductions? I’m Rowan Harrow Khanna! Just call me Harrow!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So ya two grew up on a tree farm? Seems a tad of a bore.” Abby said as the four children sat down at a nearby bench as they talked together.

“It’s really not that bad. Lots of reading and interesting stories!” Harrow said, followed by Hubei nodding enthusiastically. “It’s true! We get quite a lot of various people at the farm. Mom and Dad always say that we’re getting the entire world coming to buy their wand and broom wood.” 

Lilian smiled. “That seems interesting. I’ve never heard of a tree farm for brooms and wands specifically. It must be exciting.” 

The twins looked at each other and frowned. “Not really. More often than not, it’s kind of boring. Trees aren’t the fastest growing things.” “Yeah, for the most part we stayed inside to read and play wizard chess against each other. Harrow tried climbing a tree once. He was stung by so many Bowtruckles.” 

Harrow’s face turned bright red as he turned to Hubei. “Did not! That was just the branches not being trimmed in a while…” 

“Right, that’s why you screamed like a little girl. Haha dad had to levitate Harrow out of the tree!”

Lilian smiled at the two’s bickering when she noticed Abby looking down. She had forgotten how her cousin had lost her brother a while ago. She didn’t know how, but all she knew was that Abby’s big brother, Jacob McKinley, had run away and was never seen again. 

Lilian put a hand on Abby’s shoulder, silently nodded and smiled. “You’ll find him, Abby. I know it.” 

The two Khanna’s stopped their bickering and fell silent. Harrow was the first to speak “I’m sorry, we forgot about you being a McKinley…”

Abby shook her head. “Nah, ‘S fine. Jus comes with the territory. Come on, Lil. We should probably find Da an head home. Who knows what Hunin an Munin are doin right now.” Lilian nodded, bidding farewell to the Khanna siblings. As the two found Rorick, Lilian couldn’t help but hug them both. “<Thank you>, for everything you two are doing.” 

Rorick chuckled. “Lass, we’re a family. We stick together, through the thick of it. Now then, how about we spoil yer appetite a bit a’fore we head on home, Eh?” Lilian and Abby grinned to each other, following Rorick’s lead to a nearby candy shop.

[moonvoiid]

i am writing on two hours of sleep in the past twenty-four hours so please excuse me and all of my mistakes,  both grammatical and overall.    i swear i’m usually in a playful,   cryptid in a sexy way kinda mood...   fhsduifhds SO.    so !    ian moon.   alright,   i’m leaving important links down below !!   the google docs document contains his biography in a slightly    ( re: no big improvement )   better state than what i’m giving you under the read more,   so if you’d like 2 give something    (  SLIGHTLY )   more comprehensive a read i’d recommend it !!!   

( jeon jungkook, cismale ) hey ! have you seen IAN MOON around ? HE works as a SKI INSTRUCTOR (KID) at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for THREE MONTHS. they tend to be +SPONTANEOUS & +CHARISMATIC, but can also be -MANIPULATIVE & -DESTRUCTIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE REVELLER. thanks a lot !    ( charcoal-stained fingertips, cat hair on dark hoodies, frowning lips around an e-cigarette , distressed pokemon cards & the gleam of a new mercedes benz under street lights. )

google doc   +    playlist    +    pinterest board

THE PAST, a brief summary:

ian was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.    as soon as he could make demands,    he got everything he wanted whenever he asked for it and then more.    i wish i could sum up his childhood in those sentences alone,    but the bitter reality of his early youth was that he was a lonely kid.    his mother was a rather young trophy wife who married into his father’s family and became pregnant to tie herself into the family’s empire and his father was a ceo of a real estate company who only cared about making ian a suitable heir to the title.   he was allowed too much freedom from the start–   his dad only involved himself in ian’s life when it came to academics and his mom…   well,   his mom lazed around the house enough for ian to see her every few days or so.

he rebelled around his first years of university in seoul.   he was studying business to follow the path that was set for him when all of the pressure that had been building up finally made him SNAP.   ian ruined what little relationship he had left with his father and decided to leave home altogether after making a massive mess he couldn’t fix.    with a subsequent agreement he made with his mom,    he got to choose where to live,    if to study right away,    and what to do for the time being with a bank account full of funds.    now THAT’S the ian living and working in big bear village you know  !

ADDITIONAL HEADCANONS:

his job !    ian works as a ski instructor for kids.   back when he was a child himself,    he and his family would often go on vacations and that frequently included leaving korea to go play in mountains of snow.   ian is really good at skiing because it was one of those skills that he worked his naive ass off to be wonderful at so his parents could have something to brag about.   besides choosing it because he’s good at it,   though,   ian also enjoys really active atmospheres in general.   he likes being kept busy and interacting with others and he likes being out in the cold like a mama duck since he ended up getting assigned to teach children how to skii.   he quickly warmed up to the job and he has a ton of fun working with kids which is hard to believe considering how generally insufferable ian is in any other setting.

mimi !    a short one but definitely worth mentioning because if i don’t mention her,   he will.   mimi is ian’s    (   and roman’s   )   beloved cat,   he would literally die for her.   she began living with them in their chaotic apartment after ian rescued her tiny kitten self and took her home.   she is extremely spoiled by him even though she herself is lowkey feral. 

postive habits !    so ian is truly a man of habit.   the pros are that some of his habits are really,    really good...   and the cons,   of course,   is the flipside that his negative habits are rather...    very bad and annoying.   but these are the good ones !!   it seems like he doesn’t really notice it,   but he makes an active effort to treat his friends because he doesn’t really know how to express affection unless it’s within an inappropriate joke or comment.   he’s quite loose with his expensive belongings and will quietly pay for his friend’s drinks throughout the night.  he works out a lot,   he would be a gym rat if he wasn’t busy being a disaster.   he makes up for all of the alcohol he drinks by eating really healthy    (   unless he’s high or,   again,   drunk and needs oily unhealthy food or else he’ll die   )   and keeping up with workout routines !    i don’t recommend having him as a gym buddy because he’ll show up at your doorstep at four am with protein shakes and a really shitty workout playlist.    he is very into art !!   his favorite medium is charcoal and he keeps his drawings / occasional paintings very greyscale.   he can be seen sketching the mountains during his free time like a true buffering romantic,   and his future plans include going to art school !!   he’s real organized with his general space n etc !    a tidy boy.   

negative habits !    alright,    so ian has a lot of these.   perhaps the biggest one is that he doesn’t accept criticism on his character even though he cares about how he’s perceived which is really very annoying for many people who know him.   he’s...   how u say...    irritating.    he never,   ever takes anything seriously and he’s always making a dumb joke,   so he has this persona of being a charming flirty pretty boy who sleeps around like a god taken straight out of greek mythology.   in other words,   he’s 100% a fuckboy.   the reason this is a bad habit is that ian is actually really smart and reliable but he wears 50 coats of shallow asshole that cover that up.    it’s his thing.    he thinks it protects him or whatever.   he can b...    manipulative...   he’s just really good at lying and will never hesitate to do it.   he is BAD at relationships !!    he treats them as things to pass the time or avoids them altogether in lieu of just getting the fun part of people and honestly...    it’s lowkey evil...   he’ll string people along and then blame them for getting attached ?    of course he goes on to feel very empty !!    because he does this stupid impulsive shit !! all the time !!    but anyway ian smokes e-cigarettes and he’s always got a fancy one in his pocket that he WILL use during any free outdoor time that he has.    he likes 2 party a lot and make bad choices while he’s drunk and then do that over and over and over again fhdisufh.   that’s the reveler for u babey !! 

misc headcanons !    ian is a huge weeb and loves video games.   he plays all big three gaming consoles + PC and u BET he hosts super smash bros hangouts w/ snacks and weed and everything u need basically every weekend when there’s not already a party goin’ on.   tbh in general ian rlly likes to start parties up like he’ll b the first to text ‘ aye where the party at ’    all the time and there’s no party invite he’ll say no to.    /    he’ll randomly start sketching u if ur sitting across from him n there’s a pen in his hand.    /    he wears absolutely no colors like this boy rlly only owns dark or pure white clothes.   /    he has only 1 tat:    a palm-sized heart on the side of his right hip.   ton of ear piercings tho !!   /    nnnn....    i’ll leave this lil section at that fr now !! 

to sum it up,   ian is a mix between a charming socialite boy and a messy fuckboy.

[bad-draft-stuff]

c.AU 1

IT BEGINS

Sheepy: *Sometimes even classes with fun professors drag on too much. That's the way of college! Thankfully, this professor is none other than Prof. Dio and generally doesn't seem to notice students sleeping in class!* Arsé-kun: *Some of the students really should not be doing this, while others genuinely need the sleep. Sometimes, it is hard to tell which is which.* Sheepy: *Unfortunately, a certain student doesn't realize this nor care.* Arsé-kun: *oh no* Sheepy: Bedi: *lowered voice* --Wake up, you'll miss everything. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he quietly groans and turns his head to face Bedi* 'm up. Killer headache. Sheepy: *Bedi nods and flashes a smile* Sheepy: Dio: And so-- oh, I can relate to the killer headache! Arsé-kun: *he says, yelling, making it That Much Worse for Kay* Sheepy: Dio: I had one earlier. I wanted to drink it off, but... Arsé-kun: *Dio has a crumpled piece of paper thrown at him by his Teacher's Aide. His moderately annoyed partner. H* Sheepy: Dio: Ouch...But I didn't do it for once! Arsé-kun: Mr. Orph: Please stay focused now. Please for the love of the gods. Teach your goddamn class. Sheepy: Dio:...! Sheepy: Dio:.... Sheepy: Dio: Uh...What was I even teaching? Arsé-kun: Orph: Quoth Romeo- "Then plainly know my heart's dear love is set, On the fair daughter of rich Capulet: As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine; And all combined, save what thou must combine, By holy marriage: when and where and how, We met, we woo'd and made exchange of vow, I'll tell thee as we pass; but this I pray, That thou consent to marry us to-day." Act 2, Scene 3, lines 56 to 65. Sheepy: Dio: Right... right, that was it! Sheepy: Dio: It'd be more fun if it was being acted out... Arsé-kun: Orph: If only we had the actual room. Sheepy: Dio: I'm forgetting something important... Arsé-kun: Orph: The lesson? The class? The homework? Your brain? Sheepy: Dio: Oh yeah, homework! Sheepy: Dio: Hand in the homework and I'll give you more, because gifts always deserve something in return! Arsé-kun: *general, collective groan. orpheus included* Sheepy: Dio: Eh? Sheepy: Dio: I just assumed people didn't listen and just googled... Arsé-kun: Orph: I speak for the class when I say you are terrible. Sheepy: Dio: Ouch... Arsé-kun: Orph: Your homework is to finish act 2. We stopped near the end, so it should only take a couple of minutes. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, why aren't you the one teaching? Arsé-kun: Orph: I am only permitted to be here due to you claiming I was "required technology for the class". Each passing day I realize you were right- Because you genuinely cannot teach. Sheepy: Dio: Ouch... Sheepy: Dio: Hey, this isn't even my area of expertise. They just don't have anyone else. Arsé-kun: Orpheus: ... You're not even going to try and hide it. You are actually the worst. Sheepy: Dio: Isn't lying bad? Arsé-kun: Orpheus: Says the one named after the deity of plays and actors, to a poetry machine. Class dismissed. Sheepy: Dio: Heyhey, I can't even say "class dismissed" and look cool...? Arsé-kun: Orpheus: Absolutely not. Perish in the mountains, fool. You will surely die. Sheepy: Dio: I don't want to die! Arsé-kun: *They continue at this. Class is actually dismissed.* Sheepy: Bedi: That class is, um... a mess. Arsé-kun: Kay: How'd this guy get hired...? Bastard can't even tell the difference between a wine bottle and a bong. Sheepy: Bedi: Desperation? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, probably. We get taught more by the calculator. Sheepy: Bedi: Calculator... Sheepy: Bedi: Wouldn't he be better for a math class then? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck if I care. Sheepy: Bedi: But he wouldn't be able to attend some classes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why..? Sheepy: Bedi: Because sometimes calculators are banned. Arsé-kun: Kay: ......... Bedi? Shut the fuck up. Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're going to say dumb shit, make it useful dumb shit like how to stop having a headache. Sheepy: Bedi: Lying down and sleeping... taking motron...Umm... Sheepy: Bedi: Not drinking alcohol. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not happening. Sheepy: Bedi: It's very bad for you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Yeah? You're one to talk about shit that's bad for me! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I usually get you into trouble, don't I. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah you do!! Arsé-kun: *Kay throws a door open and leaves-- Before being shocked that he is being rained on. Because it is raining.* Arsé-kun: Kay: MOTHERFUCKER Sheepy: Bedi: *he opens his umbrella* What is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Now, what do you goddamn think it is?? Do you think "Get soaked to the bone" was in my schedule today? Sheepy: Bedi: Here, you can use mine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't bother. You've got further to go and a fifty percent chance some jackass will splash you with their car. Sheepy: Bedi: You're sure? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I'll just shower when I get inside. I may as well. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, I hope you feel better soon, at least.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bitch me too, or I'll have to depend on the hair dog method and I'm not lookin' forward to the end of that. Sheepy: Bedi: I would help you, but I'm powerless here. Arsé-kun: Kay: You've got your shit to deal with, I've got mine. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. That's true. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, good luck. Arsé-kun: Kay: You have fun with that hairball you call a roommate. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin? Or Fou? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I will. Sheepy: *Bedi heads back to his dorm!* Arsé-kun: *And Kay heads into his. Is the elevator working? No? Fuck. Stairs it is.* Sheepy: *relatable content* Sheepy: *what will you do now that you're back at your dorm, Kay?* Arsé-kun: *unlock the door. go inside his room. lock the door because he dorms alone. put his stuff down and go take that shower he planned on* Sheepy: *good plan!* Arsé-kun: *and he did, i guess. it's not that important. i will not be covering that part. anyway he still has a killer headache so maybe he'll actually take bedi's advice* Sheepy: *While Kay is napping, there's the sound of bottles and other objects being moved.* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't think anything of it. It's just his roomma--WAIT A MINUTE* Arsé-kun: *Kay bursts into the kitchen moments later* Arsé-kun: Kay: WHO THE FUCK IS IN MY HOUSE Sheepy: *You may not have a roommate, but there's a man rifling through your fridge!* Sheepy: ?: --?! *he straightens up quickly and looks to Kay* ...House? Arsé-kun: Kay: Dorm, whatever, who the hell are you and how did you get in? Sheepy: Griflet: Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: I used a key to get in. My key. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Who the hell gave you a key. Sheepy: Grif: They did because they needed to shift me to a better home base. Arsé-kun: Kay: This is the fourth time they've tried, and the fourth time it isn't going to work. *he groans* If you drink my booze, I'm kicking you out. Sheepy: Grif: Booze... Sheepy: Grif:....I see. Sheepy: Grif: You're a ghost. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... What. Sheepy: Grif: That's what ghosts drink. Boo-ze. Sheepy: Grif:........ Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, we have a jokster here, huh? A real comedian?? You better get a job doin' it because I'm not buying your groceries. Sheepy: Grif:....?! Sheepy: Grif: You get groceries for jobs...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, now I can't tell if you're an internet funnyman or if you're that stupid. Sheepy: Grif: No. Neither. My job doesn't give me food. Arsé-kun: Kay: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Sheepy: Grif: I just eat what I find on the job. Today I found nothing. Sheepy: Grif: I don't drink alcohol. Don't worry. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Ugh. Fine. You can have the room I've been stacking old textbooks in. Just don't make a goddamn mess. Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: This book room has the inherent capability of increasing Knowledge and INT by a greater amount upon studying. However... Sheepy: Grif: Is studying worthwhile to me? Hmm...Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Since I've been positioned in a school, I guess they want me to learn, so I suppose I should study. Arsé-kun: *...Kay has already walked away* Sheepy: Grif:...He never told me his name. Sheepy: Grif: Where did he go? That's important... But maybe I can find out later. Arsé-kun: Kay: I grabbed my phone, what's up? Sheepy: Grif: *he slowly looks up at the ceiling to answer before realizing tye issue* What's your name? Arsé-kun: Kay: Kay. K-A-Y. Don't spell it with just the letter K like the last jackasses did. Sheepy: Grif: I cannot use this information in any way. So, I'll just think of you as "Kay-ay-why". Sheepy: Grif: You can guess how to spell my name. Sheepy: Grif: Then you can tell me. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not actually that stupid, are you? Sheepy: Grif: No. I've never learned how to read nor write in English. Only the languages of my parents. They want me to learn but I haven't yet. Sheepy: Grif: They don't use the same characters. Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd better get on that. The whole campus uses English, dipshit. Sheepy: Grif: I know. Sheepy: Grif: I've been trying to learn. Professors have been teaching me on the side. Sheepy: Grif: However, my job takes priority and sometimes causes me to miss lessons with them. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least you're trying. Maybe those old textbooks could help. Whatever. heepy: Grif: What are the old textbooks about? Arsé-kun: Kay: All sorts of crap. Math, mostly. Sheepy: Grif: Math... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: I'm not good at math. Sheepy: Grif: I'm only good at one or two things. But as I practice, my skills grow greater. I want to max out all skills. Arsé-kun: Kay: Time to learn. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. ...Ah, right. Sheepy: Grif: This is where we tell each other our habits that may seem distracting or disturbing. Yes? Sheepy: Grif: Well, I may return late at night. Very late at night. Or not until the morning. What else... Arsé-kun: Kay: Shit, me too. I'll probably just be out drinking but same. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Then you won't be upset about my state when I return. ...Although, if we return at the same time... It's better to explain it now, isn't it... But that Dionysus fellow told me that revealing this early would be "stale"... What does that mean? Arsé-kun: Kay: I have no idea. He's full of garbage. Sheepy: Grif: Well, don't worry about it. Sheepy: Grif: Just don't follow me to my job and everything should be fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't murder humans, aye? Sheepy: Grif: Not humans, no. Arsé-kun: Kay: You know what? I don't wanna know. Sheepy: Grif: Normal.... Sheepy: Grif: No, if you were normal I doubt you would be the one they chose to be my roommate. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, what the fuck does that mean?! Sheepy: Grif: Exactly as it sounds. Sheepy: Grif: They chose you. Arsé-kun: Kay: *it's at this point that he decides he's either dealing with a basket case, an absolute idiot, or a gamer* Sheepy: Grif: Hopefully we can be friends. Sheepy: Grif: Anything you want to ask me? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, who the hell chose to put you here? Sheepy: Grif: My uncle. Sheepy: Grif: Nyarlathotep. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yeah, I'm just gonna keep assuming you think you're funny. I'm not going to ask. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: The guidance counselor. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Which one??? Which fuckin' one doesn't actually belong on our side of things? If it's the lady who keeps insisting I take biology, I'm going to kick her ass. Sheepy: Grif:....Does he say he has a different name...? Sheepy: Grif: Dark hair. Jacket. Slightly sadistic look. Sheepy: Grif: Probably torments you a little for fun? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, fuck, that could be any of them. Sheepy: Grif:....This is difficult... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's your problem now. You deal with your "Uncle" and I'll be over here with my headache. Sheepy: Grif: He's actually my dad's uncle. What's the term for that? Arsé-kun: Kay: Great uncle. Sheepy: Grif: But he isn't great. Sheepy: Grif: He enjoys tormenting people. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try to think of other defining features. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Good night, then. Tell me if you need anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he just rolls his eyes- well, ok, his one visible eye- and exits scene* Sheepy: *Grif starts unpacking in his new room.* Arsé-kun: *Unpacking what? From where??* Sheepy: *from his boxes* Arsé-kun: *what boxes. where. theyre not in the food room* Sheepy: *he left them by the door and now he's unpacking them in the spare room* Arsé-kun: *good boy. doing the stuff neatly and correctly. i hope* Sheepy: *After a while, there's some knocking at the door, a pause, and then someone unlocking it. Hello, Bedi!* Arsé-kun: *Hello, Bedi! Here to make sure Kay is alive?* Sheepy: Bedi: Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Whaaaaaaaaaat? Sheepy: Bedi: So, is everything okay? Are you feeling well? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeh, I'm alive still, apparently. Sheepy: Bedi: That's good to hear. I saw you were cleaning, so I hope I didn't interrupt you. If you need any help with it, I'm here. Arsé-kun: Kay: What? *he leans out of his doorway* I haven't done shit yet today. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Sheepy: Bedi:...So, then...? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Speaking of, let me tell you, I had the weirdest fucking dream last night. There's no way the dean would give me another roommate, right..? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, um, it looks cleaner. Sheepy: Bedi: So even if they're your roommate of your dreams, they do good things in reality. Arsé-kun: Kay: If it was a roommate of my dreams, I'd never have to do shit ever again. Sheepy: Bedi: But staying active is healthy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Isn't walking to class enough?? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Maintaining a clean environment helps too. Sheepy: Bedi: Hobbies, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit. But like I've got time for that? My schedule is all class, homework, drinking, and being on the floor. Sheepy: Bedi: We could try reducing those last two and add in other activities. Sheepy: Bedi: Before long, you'll feel much happier. Arsé-kun: Kay: What's the next thing you're gonna suggest? Making friends? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gross. I have a grand total of... One. Don't make me increase that. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll help you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Who in their right mind wants an asshole as a friend? C'mon, it isn't happening. Sheepy: Bedi: Me, of course- Sheepy: Grif: --Hello. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh, you're real. Goddammit. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Bedi looks over to Grif to greet him and pauses, staring* Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I unfinished packing. I had to clean. It was very dusty. Sheepy: Bedi: You're...? Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Well, this is a surprise. Arsé-kun: Kay: You gonna exclude me in my own house, Bedi? Sheepy: Bedi: Um, sorry, I should explain. Sheepy: Bedi: This is my cousin. Sheepy: Bedi: He's..... Sheepy: Grif: Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: You don't need to tell him about me. I can do it myself. heepy: Grif: True neutral. Favorite color is green. Youngest of my siblings. Likes animals. Sheepy: Grif: That's how trait pages usually go, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Bedi, why does he speak exclusively in gamer? Sheepy: Bedi: Um..... Sheepy: Bedi: I've never known him to play games, but maybe he picked them up in his free time? Sheepy: Grif: "Gamer"? One of my dads is a gamer. The other one is a player. I'm assuming those words are one and the same. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Good enough. Sheepy: Grif: I've recently picked up computers. My current Skill LVL is 10. I hope to improve with time. Sheepy: Bedi: I can't say I've interacted with him much. The last time we interacted, we were kids and he bit Lucan... Arsé-kun: Kay: The world revolves around fucking him over. Sheepy: Bedi: It does, doesn't it... Sheepy: Grif: You can ask me anything else about me. In turn, I'll ask you questions. So we can bond and become friends. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he thinks for a moment* ... Ignoring the obvious for a minute. What's your major? Sheepy: Grif: Major? Sheepy: Grif:.... What is a major? heepy: Grif: The gym teacher asks a similar question. "What is your major malfunction"? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's just an asshole. Sheepy: Grif: Anything else? Sheepy: Grif: If not, I ask the same question of you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I have so many questions, but I hear Pompous Asshole Whistling and I'm ready to commit a crime. Sheepy: Grif: What is that? Arsé-kun: *there IS distant whistling.* Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: An enemy is approaching. Sheepy: Bedi: Nononono, not an enemy, not an enemy! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wouldn't mind him getting punched in the face, though. Sheepy: Bedi: But... Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay, okay, no combat in my dorm. Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't deserve it, does he? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well... Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: So punch him or not? Arsé-kun: Kay: Better you don't. Shit splatters and he's full of it. Sheepy: Bedi: I wonder why he's coming over... Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs* Yeah, why DOES Merlin have to show up now? Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, maybe you can clean your room more. Sheepy: Grif: But I'm - Sheepy: Bedi: I'm sure there's something you missed! Sheepy: Grif:...? Hmm... That's what they say when Santa hides things in your room. How exciting. Sheepy: *Grif goes to his room to hunt for the gift from Santa he'll never find...* Arsé-kun: Kay: *eh?* Sheepy: Bedi:...Apologies, I don't want them meeting. Their vibes don't mix. Arsé-kun: Kay: You know what? You're so right. That'd be horrible. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know why Merlin is showing up, but it must be important. Arsé-kun: *Merlin busts in. the door bounces off the wall and hits him in the face. his cat laughs at him* Sheepy: Bedi: There you are. Sheepy: Bedi: Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I'm good. *he pushes the door away, softer this time* Bedi, how do you feel about a change in location? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because we don't have much of a choice. Sheepy: Bedi: What...? What happened? And where will we be staying? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We, uh. We lost the dorm. Sheepy: Bedi:...! No! Sheepy: Bedi: Was anyone hurt...?! The things can be replaced, but...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But in good news, I saved our stuff! *he holds up a suitcase* Barely got it all in! Arsé-kun: *kay looks less than impressed by this turn of events and tries to preduct where this is going* Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, we all got out in time. Only half the dorm is Off but it's better we all get out. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Sheepy: Bedi: But...where are we supposed to stay? Do we know yet? Sheepy: Bedi: It's good no one was hurt. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let me goddamn guess. Because I have the Suite, you're gonna suck up to me until I say yes. *he stares at Merlin. Merlin just sheepishly grins at him* Sheepy: Bedi:...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You, no. Bedi, yes. Fuck right off, you asshat. Sheepy: Bedi: Umm...We can figure something out, I'm sure! We shouldn't just drop in and demand a place to stay. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll let it slide for a week or so, but the minute Merlin leaves something unwashed, I'm breaking it over his head. Sheepy: Bedi: Right...but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Butt? :3c Sheepy: Bedi: D-don't worry about it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, it's bad enough I'm going to be third-wheeling in my own house. Don't add to it. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't. It ain't like you fucked up the dorms. Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway, make your man unload the suitcase in the far room. This one's textbook storage and other shit. *he gestures to Grif's room* Don't go in my storage. Sheepy: Bedi: It's just...We can't really just drop in like that. You already have your own lifestyle and we'd be intruding. *Bedi, a terrible liar with many tells, is showing one of his many: brushing his hand up against the patterns on Airgetlam to try to distract himself. Help him* Arsé-kun: Kay: My lifestyle is drinking. Sheepy: Bedi: Y..yes, of course. Ahahaha... Arsé-kun: Kay: The last rule is keep that fucking cat away from me. Sheepy: Bedi: Fou isn't bad. He's very sweet. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fou is the reason I can't see out one eye! I'd like to not take chances here! Sheepy: Bedi:.......I'm sorry, I can't relate. I have little memory of the incident. Sheepy: Bedi: But he's not the one at fault. I am. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah. *he looks doubtful* Sheepy: Bedi: Fou didn't know any better but I did, so... Please don't blame him. If you want to blame someone, I'm the one deserving of it. Sheepy: *In the bg Grif exits via window. Not that interesting* Arsé-kun: Kay: Bedivere, I've already yelled at you enough. It ain't gonna help. Sheepy: Bedi:...I know. Sheepy: Bedi: But hating Fou won't help either. He's the only good thing that came from that situation. I don't want him to be a bad thing too. Sheepy: Bedi: But I'm sure he's probably just going to stay with Merlin and me mostly. Sheepy: Bedi: But I'm happy to stay with you. I won't worry as much. Arsé-kun: *Fou is sniffing Kay's stuff and kneading the sofa. lookit him go* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, he's getting to know the place! Arsé-kun: *Kay looks at Fou, then looks back to Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi:? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Nah, never mind. It'd take too long. Sheepy: Bedi: What is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't worry about it. It's not important. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Instead.. How much stuff do you think your bitch had in that suitcase? Sheepy: Bedi: ...? I don’t know. Sheepy: Bedi: Fou’s food... Um... clothing? Maybe textbooks? Maybe... ...I-I made him carry that all himself...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: He said "Got it all". I'm concerned. Sheepy: Bedi: .......I should go check on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Knowing him, he'll pull a whole bed out of it and call it "Cool Wizard tricks you can do on the weekend" or some garbage. Sheepy: Bedi: Yeah, you're right. Sheepy: Bedi: .....I'd like to be able to do that, too...... Arsé-kun: Kay: Who wouldn't? But okay, shut up, make sure your man didn't crush himself under a sofa. Sheepy: *Bedi heads over to check on Merlin* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is alive and uncrushed by furniture* Sheepy: Bedi: How is everything going? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's going well, thank you! How mad's Kay? Is he trolled? Is he raging in the chat? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Sheepy: Bedi: He asked me to check to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's impressive. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose so..... Arsé-kun: *Kay decides he doesn't wanna hear this in his own dorm. To prevent this, he retreats back into his own, personal room and shuts the door so he can do homework* Sheepy: *Bedi helps out unpacking and turns in early for his morning class.* Arsé-kun: *Fou curls up in the bathroom sink. Cat time* Arsé-kun: *Merlin stays with Bedi, doing mysterious wizard stuff.. and his own homework.* Arsé-kun: *Time passes, as it does. It would be strange if it didn't* Sheepy: *The sound of a door opening is heard. Clumsy, unsure footsteps are accompanied by the sound of heavy breathing and something being dragged across the floor. The smell of blood fills the air...* Arsé-kun: *Kay very slowly peers out of his doorway. He's hesitant about looking any further..* Sheepy: *Grif's limping to his room, supporting his weight on a sharp object.... a sword? He's bleeding heavily from his leg, chest, and side, seemingly attacked by some sort of creature based on the claw marks. His breathing is pained and labored.* Arsé-kun: *Kay responds to this in a mature, thought-out way that any adult should. He screams and slams his door shut before slamming himself against it. He lasts about eleven seconds.* Sheepy: *This, understandably, surprises Grif, who starts rushing over as best as he can, thinking that there's danger. This doesn't go well* Arsé-kun: *... And Kay wakes up with a gasp, in his own bed. "Thank goodness", the poor boy thinks, "it was just a bad dream". But after the last time he believed something was a dream, it wasn't, so maybe it'd be better to actually make sure...* Sheepy: *Grif is in the common area, just chilling. He looks over to Kay upon his entrance.* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Arsé-kun: Kay: Afternoon... Morning? Hello? You're still here. Sheepy: Grif: Of course I am. Sheepy: Grif: You screaming at night isn't enough to chase me off. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: I apologize if it's something you pride yourself in. I'll be more scared next time. Arsé-kun: *Kay has paled a bit* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Could..... You not show up like that? Again? Ever? Sheepy: Grif: Ah, that. Sheepy: Grif: I suppose this is why Dio said it'd be more fun if I left it to be a surprise, hm. Sheepy: Grif: No, I can't promise you that. That was a scratch I picked up dealing with some enemies off of the path. I suppose I forgot to mention my job to you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You...?! Are you stupid?? Sheepy: Grif: ....? Sheepy: Grif: This is my job. The school tells me to do it. So I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let me get this straight! You go off the path... On purpose?! And you survive it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck? What the actual fuck?? Now I absolutely need to ask so that shit doesn't happen again! Sheepy: Grif: What do you mean? Sheepy: Grif: As I said, that was but a scratch. Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't have a major either, do you? You're just here to do thhhNO IT WAS NOT Sheepy: Grif: No. I have no formal education past my parents. I don't know what a major is, nor could I probably receive one. Sheepy: Grif: My job is to protect everyone. That's all. Sheepy: Grif: In return, I receive access to housing and classes. ...But due to my lack of math skills and my inabiliy to read nor write past some simple words, it seems I'm behind and can't take advantage of this. Sheepy: Grif: Thankfully, they're willing to teach me all the same. Sheepy: Grif: I can answer any other questions you have, too. I shouldn't keep secrets. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's hyper dangerous out there though?? Like, you came back looking like... Like bad? People have lost limbs and lives to that shit? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. People have. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're clearly a people. Sheepy: Grif: ...Hmm. Sheepy: Grif: Right, I do look like that. Sheepy: Grif: Although people usually say I'm weird or act like an alien. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, on the surface you'd be right, but otherwise you're wrong. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you can casually go in and out like this, you're clearly weird. But in the cool way. Sheepy: Grif:....?! Sheepy: Grif:...Cool? *he appears surprised* ...That's the first time anyone's said that. Arsé-kun: Kay: You have a sword! How is that NOT cool?? Sheepy: Grif: I've heard you can buy swords at BBay. ...That's its name, right? What is it? I want to go there. Arsé-kun: Kay: BBay is a website. ... You definitely need to be able to read for that. Sheepy: Grif: Dad helps with that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, swords are on there. They're expensive! People can't just have swords anymore! Sheepy: Grif: He's very talented with technology. So he helps by changing it to a language I can read. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: Why not? Arsé-kun: Kay: People that are armed take on more than they can deal with. That's how it's always been, I guess. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I am always armed. With two. Arsé-kun: Kay: I know someone who isn't because of the off-path fuckers. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Bedi. I thought it'd just grow back. Arsé-kun: Kay: N-no! It doesn't work that way! Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: People don't grow things back, Mr. Nyar nephew! Hair, sure, but not limbs! Sheepy: Grif: I grow back limbs I lose. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucky you! Congrats! You suck! *and Kay has looped back around to being bitter. Ah, normality.* Sheepy: Grif: Although...being known as Nyar's nephew... Sheepy: Grif:....How embarrassing. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh yeah! Don't eat *my* food! I'd label it, but you can't read it so what's the point?? Sheepy: Grif: What familial relations would I prefer to be called by- what? Sheepy: Grif: I see, so all of the fridge food is yours? Arsé-kun: Kay: For now at least! Sheepy: Grif: Then I eat... what, I wonder. Sheepy: Grif: I ate some last night, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: Goddammit. Ask Merlin to buy pizza. It's not like he eats anything else! Sheepy: Grif: Pizza? Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow... You really are clueless! Sheepy: Grif: Dad never told me about it. Sheepy: Grif: However, I'm willing to eat anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: That doesn't include people, right?? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: People aren't food. How can you eat non food? Impossible. Arsé-kun: Kay: What about that? *he points to Fou* I don't want it. Bedi might. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm...hmmm.... Arsé-kun: *Fou trots over and rubs on Kay's hand. Kay withdraws quickly* Sheepy: Grif: I like rabbits so it's not food. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm told it's a cat. Apparently. Sheepy: Grif: Cat? Sheepy: Grif: I've heard cats can die more times than any other animal. Truly a force to be reckoned with. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fao! Faooou! Sheepy: Grif: Instead of "you only live once", a cat goes by "you only live nine". Arsé-kun: *This is a trainwreck. Great impression, Griflet.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Not too sure about that. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe! Sheepy: Grif: It seems people tell me misconceptions often... Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure he was just misinformed. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or it was a joke. Sheepy: Grif: ...? Maybe. Arsé-kun: *In the background, Merlin putting a mop back in a closet. I Wonder Why.* Arsé-kun: *Kay takes the distraction and moment to duck into the bathroom. To think, of course. Even he has recognized that he shouldn't be okay with any of this. He doesn't even know this guy. And he might possibly be a monster in human shape... But he's cute... Not that it should matter. Was he this lonely? Is he desperate? Maybe he needs some help. Or another beer. Maybe he could just let this go and it'll go away before the semester ends. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.* Arsé-kun: *pan back to Grif as Kay does his business bc we dont need that in our lives* Sheepy: Grif: (Cool... Maybe if I were cool like my parents, I'd be able to help more people. ...But maybe I'm getting there, considering that he called me cool.) Sheepy: Grif: Thank you for cleaning up. I wasn't looking forward to it. Sheepy: Grif: And thanks to you, I'm feeling better. I would've healed on my own, but this helped. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Understandable. Sheepy: Grif: I worked hard to make that blood. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *squints* Sheepy: Grif: Did you not know? Sheepy: Grif: Inside of your body you have a blood factory called a heart. It makes blood. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Actually no! According to my Bio teacher, it's only used to pump blood and send it around!... You still need it! Sheepy: Grif: For how long? Sheepy: Grif: Biology sounds difficult... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a pain in the ass, but it's important, I guess! Arsé-kun: Kay: It fuckin' sucks! It's gross as hell! Who made it mandatory and why is it with that weirdo??? Sheepy: Grif: Mandatory... It's the dormitory that men live in. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha. Sheepy: Grif: What, weirdo? Who? Sheepy: Grif: Although, most of the professors here are what I've heard described as "weird". Sheepy: Grif: Dio is drunk on the regular, the PE instructor yells at people, there's a robot, Lobo, a very suspicious math professor.... Arsé-kun: Kay: Dumb bitch, asshole, Orph is a calculator on steroids, Who? Sheepy: Grif: You haven't seen him? Sheepy: Grif: He's big. Tall. Hairy. Sheepy: Grif: Blue. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhh. Nope. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Hm, he seems like he'd be hard to miss. I keep asking him what he teaches, but he doesn't say much. Sheepy: Grif: He usually just glares at people. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets give him some credit here. I haven't seen Lobo yet either. I've heard the tales, though! Sheepy: Grif: Have you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The one with the ghost friend? The same Lobo that definitely hates everyone but still barges into classes for social attention? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I've seen Dio seemingly crying about being unlikable compared to Lobo, questioning how someone like Lobo could be so loved. It seems he has feelings after all. Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure you'll meet Lobo eventually. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hope so! Sheepy: Grif: Just be polite with him. He angers easily. Sheepy: Grif: What other professors are there.. Sheepy: Grif: They're all, hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Confusing. Except Lobo. I relate to him well. Arsé-kun: Kay: Weird as hell as far as I learned. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The two orchestra teachers are married! *thank you merlin* Sheepy: Grif: Dio and Orpheus? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nooo, Mr. Salieri and the guy whose name I forgot! The one who makes fart noises for fun. You know! Sheepy: Grif: Oh. I haven't had much experience with them. Yes...I was questioning the validity of that, because Dio doesn't seem associated with music... Sheepy: Grif: I think his name is Mofart. That's what I was told. Sheepy: Grif: Of course, Nyar told me this. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then it Obviously must be true *it's sarcasm* Sheepy: Grif: No, he lies often. *Grif doesn't get it...* Arsé-kun: Kay: I was being sarcastic. Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: I will learn sarcasm as I live with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd better. Sheepy: Grif: In turn, you will learn ro speak clearly as I struggle to understand sarcasm... Sheepy: Grif: Right. You never told me about yourself. Checking your profile without asking for info first would be rude. Sheepy: Grif: Based on my experiences... yes, these are the sort of questions you ask to get to know someone better: What's your major? Your favorite hobby? Your likes and dislikes? Your star sign? Do you come here often? What's wrong with you? ...Those are the ones I've heard. Sheepy: Grif: So, answer any of those you'd like. You asked me questions but told me little about yourself past your name. Arsé-kun: Kay: Would you like them answered in that order? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: *rattling off answers* Accounting, drinking, that takes too long, how the fuck should I know, I live here, and so many. Sheepy: Grif: I, too, drink. Every day. Sheepy: Grif: Everyone does. Arsé-kun: Kay: Alcohol. I drink booze. Sheepy: Grif: No, I don't drink that. Sheepy: Grif: I've heard that parties usually expect you to drink. However, I've never been invited to one, so I wouldn't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kay wouldn't either, considering how he doesn't go out! *he gets a couch cushion thrown at him for his crimes* Sheepy: Grif: Really? Hmm... That's not the impression I got of you, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: I already told you I'm an ass. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. You will no longer be friendless. I am here. Arsé-kun: Fou: Frow! Sheepy: Grif: You can be my friend, too. Sheepy: Grif: Other than my parents, I have one other friend. You haven't seen him yet. Sheepy: Grif: I unpacked him yesterday. Arsé-kun: Kay: wot Sheepy: Grif: I put him in a box. Sheepy: Grif: And then I took him out. Sheepy: Grif: Do you want to meet him? Sheepy: Grif: Give me a moment. I'll get him. *he leaves briefly before returning with a white peacock. it seems particularly interested in Fou* This is Elyan. He was lost near the storm drain before I befriended him. Now we're good friends. Sheepy: Grif: Nyar has told me that we're the perfect pair because we share rhe same level of intelligence. However, he's also said that Elyan is barely capable of thought ...so which is it, I wonder. Arsé-kun: Kay: What is this, a fucking zoo? One more animal and I'm going to go ballistic. ... If it eats Fou, I don't care. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: Geese don't eat cats, do they? Arsé-kun: Kay: If that thing is a goose, then I like women. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm...hmm... that's the deciding factor...? Sheepy: Grif: I like humans regardless of gender. Do geese make people like women? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sarcasm again. Sheepy: Grif: It's too hard to tell... Sheepy: Grif: I saw him by water and he's a bird so he must be a goose. Sheepy: Grif: He's too big to be a duck. Sheepy: Grif: What is he if not a goose? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A peacock! Look at this tail! Geese don't have this fancy stuff! Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Peacock... Oh, I see. So Elyan has eyes on his tail. Sheepy: Grif: I have a brother with eyes, too. Sheepy: Grif: But not on a tail. Arsé-kun: Kay: Most people have eyes. Sheepy: Grif: I only have two. Arsé-kun: Kay: That is the average number of eyes. Sheepy: Grif: I’ve heard some people called “four eyed”. Sheepy: Grif: Am I lacking? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, he wears glasses then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: glasses are called a second pair of eyes, even tho they just make the initial pair work better. It's a silly name. Sheepy: Grif: He only wears one pair. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One pair is two. Two pairs is four. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe his others are 20/20... Arsé-kun: Kay: I now have several questions I don't want answers to. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why would I ask if I don't want the answer? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.. Sheepy: *there's knocking at the door* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, NOW he's on time??? The one goddamn time? Hold on. *and a little louder* Hold the hell on! Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: I've got a deal running with one of the profs. He shares what he makes if I help with his budget. .... That sounds really bad and I don't mean it like that! Sheepy: Grif: Bad....I don't understand but I believe you. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes and pulls a folder out of somewhere and tries to slide it under the door. The folder is too fat. He gives up and opens the door like a normal human* Arsé-kun: Kay: You really suck at planning out budgets. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, you're actually going to talk to me face to face! Sheepy: Dio: Life's kinda hard to live to its fullest when you're stuck on a budget... Sheepy: Grif: Hmm...Oh, so you must make the alcohol that Kay drinks. I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: Life's hard to live to the fullest when you can't go fuckin' anywhere. Sheepy: Dio: I used to have parties with everyone and try all the types of alcohol I could...But now? Sheepy: Dio: It's difficult not feeling bummed out all the time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell me about it, but don't, I have people over. Sheepy: Dio: Oh, you have company over? Great, wonderful! I thought you seemed kinda lonely! Always time for a party! *he looks over to Merlin and Grif* ....Hmm, that's... Well, good luck with that. Sheepy: Dio: Ah, yeah, I brought my most recent batch. I was being nagged to grade homework and do paperwork so it's rushed... What, do they think this is my job...? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you do your job, you won't be nagged at to do it later. What a goddamn concept. Sheepy: Dio: In a way, it kinda stinks for everyone that they just grabbed who they could, because students deserve a better education and I don't deserve having to grade homework... Sheepy: Dio: Oh, but I guess that's supposed to be a secret. Arsé-kun: Kay: Since when? Who cares? Shit sucks. Sheepy: Dio: But I guess with the way I act in class, nobody has any doubts I'm just there because they need a warm body to fill the slot after the last body grew cold. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But didn't it take a while to get replaced? Sheepy: Dio: Yeah... I guess so. Sheepy: Dio: Well, guess I'm as clueless as you are as to why they picked me. Well, I do have a clue, but I guess that's better left for a cool plot twist. Sheepy: Dio: Yeah, I guess I could be like Chekov's himbo! Arsé-kun: Kay: Who the fuck is Chekov? Sheepy: Dio: He wrote about a gun being on the wall once and then at the end it was a murder weapon. Sheepy: Dio: So it's basically a surprise tool we'll use later! Something seemingly unimportant that ends up vital to the story! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It isn't even gonna help us? What's this shite? Sheepy: Dio: Maybe later, but not right now. Sheepy: Dio: Just like me. Maybe I'll be super useful in the future, maybe I've already been useful and nobody knows... Sheepy: Dio: But right now, I struggle with the task given to me because they have no one else. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hand me the booze and you'll be useful. Sheepy: Dio: Ouch... Sheepy: Dio: *he passes it over* Sheepy: Dio: Sorry if it isn't as good as usual. As I said... I kinda rushed. Arsé-kun: Kay: Doesn't matter. It'll do the job. Sheepy: Dio: I was thinking, “oh, man, what’ll I do if he doesn’t accept it? Nobody’s ever rejected the drinks I’ve made before. Run out into the wilderness and embrace nature to relearn the arts of wine making and drink mixing?”... and so on. Arsé-kun: Kay: Run out in the wilderness and embrace nature and fucking die? Do we need to finish the play if you die? Sheepy: Dio: Hey, I go out into the wilderness often. Sheepy: Dio: Stuffy places like these aren’t suited for me, but the least I can do is lighten them up. Sheepy: Dio: Anyway, you shouldn’t count on me dying so easily! It’s better to do your homework. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dammit. Sheepy: Dio: Oh, and don’t try going off the path like I do. Sheepy: Dio: I guess I'm just amicable enough they don't want to tear me to shreds. Arsé-kun: Kay: YOU DO WHAT Sheepy: Dio: I mean, what wilderness would I be referring to? There's none on the path. Arsé-kun: Kay: Two bushes and a tree is wilderness, isn't it?? What are you, dumb? Sheepy: Dio: Hmmm... that doesn't seem right. Sheepy: Dio: Hmmm... they kinda just leave me alone. Sheepy: Dio:...Oh, the drink? Yeah! Sheepy: Dio: I thought you meant me, 'cause, well, that's the nickname my family has given me! Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh. What? Arsé-kun: *Kay, still reeling, and now also having lost track of what's being said,* Sheepy: Dio: I guess I should have mentioned that's why I never respond to emails on Saturdays.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I feel like we just learned forbidden knowledge. Sheepy: Dio: Eh...? Was I not supposed to say all that? Sheepy: Dio: Will I get yelled at if staff find out? Sheepy: Dio: I don't really like getting yelled at... Sheepy: Dio: But just because I do it doesn't mean you should. They usually just act like pests for me, but others would be torn to shreds. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit?? No fuckin' shit???? Sheepy: Dio: Gosh, I kinda just put my foot in my mouth, huh? Sheepy: Dio: Now I'll get questions like "how?" and, uh...I dunno. Sheepy: Dio: Other intrusive questions...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely fucking not. Fuck you and whatever you do in there, I'm gonna get wasted. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, make sure to drink responsibly. Arsé-kun: Kay: I want to be legally unable to be liable for decisions. Sheepy: Dio: Any alcohol fulfills that requirement. Arsé-kun: Kay: I want to be so inebriated that stealing construction vehicles and joyriding them across campus sounds like a good idea before not even making it that far. Sheepy: Dio: Ehhh... Guess it's good you've got a roommate now to stop you from doing that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe even more. Don't you have work to be doing? Go, act out your mature adult job. Sheepy: Dio: I'm kinda worried now... Sheepy: Dio: But I guess I'll leave it up to your roommates to keep you safe. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedivere would anti-thot him into next WEEK if he did that shit, it ain't happening. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Bedi... can send people to the future? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's an expression. Sheepy: Grif:....I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *Ahem* To "knock someone into next week" is to "strike with a very great, almost comical level of force." Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: That's what I do to my enemies. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets hope I don't become one! I like living. Sheepy: Grif: No. I like you. Arsé-kun: *there's a cloud shaped like Kay where he was once standing. blinking dotted outline. the whole nine yards and ten inches. ok not really but he did leave the scene* Sheepy: Grif: You're nice to my family. So I like you. ...Hm, Kay left. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, he did, he's never happy about stuff like that. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did you think he wears an eyepatch for fun? Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I don't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Man, he ain't gonna explain and Bedi will just say "It's my fault" ad nauseum. Arsé-kun: *Merlin sighs heavily* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll order us lunch and I'll tell you the deets. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fuck, me too. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't had good food in a while... Arsé-kun: *Merlin steps out to order pizza. phone calls. it takes like five minutes tops* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Made a phone call. Okay, do you want the long or short version? Sheepy: Grif: Long is fine. Sheepy: Grif: Short wjll just leave me confused. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Once upon a time, Bedi, when he was like... 11? Saw a small animal being attacked at the edge of the path, and charged in to save it. Kay, about the same age, tried to save HIM. It, uh, it didn't go well. Sheepy: Grif:....? So that small animal must be Fou. Sheepy: Grif: Based on the tension Kay had around it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. Fou rarely leaves him. Kay nearly lost an eye from it, but poor Bedi... Eugh. Sheepy: Grif: Bedi lost his arm, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeeep. Whole thing, torn right off. I about shit when he told me in the hospital. And Kay watched it happen apparently. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't seen him for a while. I was confused seeing his arm now being metal... So this is why. Sheepy: Grif: And this is why Kay screamed upon seeing me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's exactly why. I've told him alcohol isn't a solution, but he replied by holding up rubbing alcohol and saying that it IS a solution. And then bonking me over the head with it several times. Sheepy: Grif: I've heard consuming rubbing alcohol is a good way to go blind. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also true. Don't think he drinks that. I hope not. He's blind enough. Sheepy: Grif: However, it's listed as a consumable in my inventory.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't you eat books? Sheepy: Grif: ...Am I not supposed to? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No???? Sheepy: Grif: Those are listed as consumables, too... Sheepy: Grif:...Right, but Kay said it won't grow back, which I don't understand because when I lose limbs, they grow back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sounds like a you thing. Sheepy: Grif: ...? Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We can't. Maybe I could with a solid spell? But not normally. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... So you just lose it...and then it's gone? Sheepy: Grif: My quest is to protect everyone... but humans are so fragile, and I can only fight so much. It's...frustrating. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, it is, isn't it? Sheepy: Grif: So, you're in the same situation. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kind of? But I've got people to watch and homework to do. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have such responsibilities. Until now, I didn't think much of the people I saved losing parts. It's normal for me. ...I thought they'd grow back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So what you need is to make sure those people don't lose limbs. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... So if I grow stronger, I can protect them better... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Better get on that somehow without coming back lookin' like a horror movie villain. Sheepy: Grif: Like last night? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Exactly like that. Sheepy: Grif: I should apologize to him for that. Arsé-kun: Kay: But will you? *welcome back, Kay, from sitting in the bathroom sink with the door closed* Sheepy: Grif: .....?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wasn't even far. Sheesh, you two acted like I vanished entirely. Do you mind? Sheepy: Grif:....Uh.... I'm not experienced with this. Sheepy: Grif: No, I don't mind. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatever, you said the intention. Sheepy: Grif: I'll fight more carefully in the future. For you. I don't want to upset people. I thought you were messing with me. Sheepy: Grif: People scream when they see a monster, so... Arsé-kun: Kay: Griflet, you came in looking like you'd killed at least five people! Sheepy: Grif: Well, I defeated more than five enemies. Sheepy: Grif: However, embarrassingly... Most of that blood was mine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe don't bleed out so much next time. It's good for you? Sheepy: Grif:....Very embarrassing... Usually cool knights just get a cut on their face that makes them look cooler... Meanwhile.... I looked like I lost. Sheepy: Grif: Right, I'll just not bleed the next time I lose part of me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Doesn't work that way. Sheepy: Grif: Uh? It doesn't? Sheepy: Grif: So I'm not weak for bleeding. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, it's just gross and uncomfortable and also I hate it. Sheepy: Grif: Right, I'll think of you the next time I go out there and try to be more careful next time. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he considers this* Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure I can reduce injuries if I don't rush. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Very likely! Sheepy: Grif: And maybe my food will be less chopped up... Arsé-kun: Kay: You actually... Sheepy: Grif:? Well, after combat, I get very hungry, and they're basically weird beasts, so... Sheepy: Grif: It's only a little different from normal meat. Arsé-kun: Kay: gross Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't taste that bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Somehow? Somehow that doesn't help. What is it, weird calamari? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: huh. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know if it's edible for most people, but they don't really give enough food here and the food they don't give me costs too much. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What can they do? It's an ongoing crisis. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, so my main option is to eat my enemies. Sheepy: Grif: But when I try cooking it, I always burn it... Sheepy: Grif: Raw works out better, but I like cooked food more. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, that's enough about that. Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Alright. Sheepy: Grif: I'll get better as I try harder. My cooking skill is currently level 1. You can try it when my cooking skill is level 10. Sheepy: Grif: Speaking of levels, my bond level with you has increased from [LVL 0 - Stranger] to [LVL 1 - Roommate]. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you can't cook. Sheepy: Grif: I can't. Sheepy: Grif: Can you? Arsé-kun: Kay: I survived myself here without ordering take-out daily. I hope I can. Sheepy: Grif: Can you teach me? Arsé-kun: Kay: Most food has written instructions on the box. If there is a box. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:....It's been stressful for us both, so I understand you not remembering what I mentioned when I moved in. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, I am aware of it. You see the issue. Sheepy: Grif: Well, as long as you don't write it down, it works. Sheepy: Grif: I learn very quickly. Arsé-kun: Kay: But what about learning to read? Sheepy: Grif: I'm trying. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, how would it work... Eh, nevermind. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: The professors have been helping me but I already could recognize some key words and phrases. Sheepy: Grif: Menu. Equipmemt. Items. Key items. Consumables. Skills. Relationships. Glossary. Sheepy: Grif: However, I rarely hear those words used in conversation. Arsé-kun: Kay: And you still say you're not a gamer? Sheepy: Grif:...? I never play games. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then why...? Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: It's how my menu is... Arsé-kun: Kay: I regret asking this-- What menu? Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I'll show you. Sheepy: *Grif lifts his hand up in front of him and... a menu screen appears in front of him!* Sheepy: Grif: My dad made this for me to improve quality of life. Quests are automatically sent to it so I can easily find them. Relationships are compiled within it so I can remember everyone important who I meet. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, that's.. Actually really cool? *Kay wants to inspect the floating menu screen* Arsé-kun: *merlin furiously taking notes in the bg* Sheepy: Grif: ...! *he briefly appears flustered. something about him...cool?* ...I'll tell him that you called it cool. Sheepy: Grif: As I discover recipes, they'll be added to the menu, but...I have none at the moment. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you can read this but not much else.. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. The fine details in the menu aren't in English. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Then what's it in? Sheepy: Grif: R'lyehian. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is.. Sheepy: Grif: It's my first language. Arsé-kun: Kay: You know what? I can't complain about that. Sheepy: Grif: But speaking it around people causes issues. Sheepy: Grif: So I don't. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it's why Lucan doesn't like me very much. Sheepy: Grif: If you haven't met him, he's fun. I like him. Sheepy: Grif: He's good at running away. But not good enough. Sheepy: Grif: If you don't run strategically, you'll always be caught in the end. He's fast. But he corners himself. Cornering players is how you win tag. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Biting people is not how you win tag. Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is THAT a revelation?? Sheepy: Grif: Anything goes in tag, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: No?? Sheepy: Grif: Although, playing mind games takes most of the fun out of it. Sheepy: Grif: "We aren't playing tag" was his common one. But why did he run from me otherwise? Sheepy: Grif: Although, such things are of the past... I can't really utilize this new information you've given me. Sheepy: Grif: It would've been nice to know that before. Sheepy: Grif: Swords are more useful generally. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't chase people with a sword Sheepy: Grif:? Not people. Sheepy: Grif: I only chase my enemies with a sword. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I've been wondering. Sheepy: Grif: Majors are like an area of study, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. Sheepy: Grif: But what happens after that? Arsé-kun: Kay: Then we hopefully graduate and hopefully get a job. Sheepy: Grif: Majors are how you get a job...? Sheepy: Grif: So my major is in combat, then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd believe that. Sheepy: Grif: And yours is in.... Sheepy: Grif: Being a wizard? Sheepy: Grif: Warrior class... Mage class... We just need a tank class and a ranged class now. Sheepy: Grif:....I'm joking, of course. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Legally no, but I wish it was. Sheepy: Grif: Then what is it? Arsé-kun: *Merlin just smiles at him. Doesn't answer* Sheepy: Grif: Ah.... your major is in the art of smiling. Sheepy: Grif: I need to take classes on that eventually. Convenient they have those. Sheepy: Grif: If you have any tips for me, I'd like to hear them. I never smile because it looks strange. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not what I'm going for, but sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Step one! Don't force it Sheepy: Grif: How? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just don't do it intentionally and forcefully. Unless it's smiling for a picture, then it's ok. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: That's hard. Sheepy: Grif: I can't think of any situation where it wouldn't be forced. Sheepy: Grif: I feel happy often, but don't think I smile when I am. Sheepy: Bedi: *He enters, carrying pizza! He has Fou and Elyan with him.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Pizza time! Sheepy: Bedi: I'm happy to see you're all getting along. Sheepy: Grif: When you said you called food, I was hoping it'd magically appear, but it was just Bedi. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, that's pretty close! Sheepy: Grif: Bedi's not food... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he brought it! Sheepy: Bedi: I think I got what you wanted. I found this weird bird on the way back and he wouldn't stop following Fou and me... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's Griflet's. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... I understand now. Sheepy: *Bedi puts the food down.* Sheepy: Bedi: If I made any errors, my apologies. I was a little distracted by, um... Sheepy: Elyan: *he's sitting on Bedi's shoulder and pecking at the zippers on his backpack...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he goes to lift Elyan off of Bedi* Sheepy: *Elyan doesn't mind this.* Sheepy: Grif: He's friendly. Arsé-kun: Fou: feowww! Sheepy: Grif: So is this dog. Sheepy: Grif:....Rabbit? Sheepy: Bedi: Cat. Arsé-kun: Kay: hellbeast Sheepy: Bedi: No!! Sheepy: Bedi: He's sweet and cute. Sheepy: Grif:...Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: So Lucan must be gone because he got eaten by this rabbit. Rabbits are fairly deadly. Sheepy: Bedi: He's a rabb- cat...! Sheepy: Bedi: And anyway, Lucan just lives elsewhere. Sheepy: Grif: Heaven is elsewhere. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lucan isn't dead yet!! Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: That's a surprise. Arsé-kun: Kay: I know, right? Sheepy: Grif: I was expecting him to be eaten first. He's very good at being cornered and he's terrible at hiding. Sheepy: Grif: Very bad combination. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's gotten better! Now he's just sick. All the time. Not sure if that makes things easier for monsters or not. Sheepy: Grif: Their sense of smell is great, however, so hiding wouldn't help too much. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm...I wonder why. Sheepy: Grif: What changed...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Chronic overwork despite perfect hygiene. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Sheepy: Grif: His major is in overwork... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a Law major. Sheepy: Grif: Law? Ah, I know those. Sheepy: Grif: Such as... Sheepy: Grif: "Don't take things unless nobody can see you". Sheepy: Grif: "Don't swing swords at people, but monsters are fine." Arsé-kun: Merlin: *clearly goofing off* "Stop! You have violated the Law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit!" Sheepy: Grif:....?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is joke! Sheepy: Grif: Ah.... Sheepy: Grif:......Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sheesh, for someone who speaks exclusively in gamer terms, you really don't know shit about 'em. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We can change that. Sheepy: Grif: My dad plays them often. Sheepy: Grif: He plays Cold Dude Tea. Sheepy: Bedi:...Call of Duty??? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That. Sheepy: Grif: My other dad doesn't play many games but he likes playing things called "dating sims". I'm guessing it's about archeology. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, it's about dating cute people. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm...? Sheepy: Grif: Ah, that's just his hobby in general... Sheepy: Grif: He wants to discover what humans consider "true love" and experience their version for himself because he finds humans fascinating and wants to learn more about them. Arsé-kun: Kay: So is that the Nyar side of the family..? Or....? Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: oh Sheepy: Grif: That's the other side of my family. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sick gaming monsters. Cool. Okay. Sheepy: Grif: They aren't monsters. Sheepy: Grif: They're a loving couple and great parents. And sometimes one marries humans. That's okay. I take after my dad's side. I look a lot like him. Sheepy: Grif: I'm clearly not a monster, so neither are they. Monsters hurt people. I don't. I protect them. Arsé-kun: Kay: So what do you call Nyar? Pretty polite princess bitch?? Sheepy: Grif: We aren't alike! Sheepy: Grif: He hurts people. He's my enemy! My parents aren't like him. I'm not like him! Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, good! We'd have a lot of problems if you were! Sheepy: *Grif's seemingly permanently neutral, blank expression has shifted to one of anger...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look, I love drama too, but can we not do this? Over our pizza? Sheepy: Grif: *he shuts up, but that doesn't stop his glare* Sheepy: Bedi: Right, it'll get cold. Arsé-kun: Kay: Here. Take this. *he picks up Fou unhappily and plops him in Grif's lap* You can hold it. Sheepy: Grif: *he hesitantly shifts his glare from Kay to Fou, which softens upon reaching Fou. He starts petting Fou, mumbling something about "not being a monster"...* Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't mean You... Ugh, forget it. What a fucking mess. Sheepy: Grif: No. I don't care. Think what you want. Don't change your tune just because I got mad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Literally not what I said, but okay. Sure. Sheepy: Grif: No, by saying my parents are monsters, you're saying I'm one too. Sheepy: Grif: But you wouldn't be the first. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what the hell do I say? It ain't like I expected someone to exist and ask me to know more than like five things. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know. Not assuming they're monsters instantly? Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine. Nyar is the monster and everyone else is the cute ones from Monsters Inc. Sheepy: Grif:....Monsters...inc? Sheepy: Grif:.....? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, I know what I'm putting on tonight! Sheepy: Grif: Putting on? Sheepy: Grif: You're dressing up? Sheepy: Grif:... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shoot, I may as well do that too! Sheepy: Grif: I have many. Sheepy: Grif: They boost my charm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Man, speaking of, y'all ready for Halloween week? I've got all my costumes set up- Oh, yeah? I bet they do. Sheepy: Grif:....Uh... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Halloween week? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh man! You've probably seen it before. It's the week everyone is in costumes. Sheepy: Grif: How do I even deal with that...? If an enemy appears... everyone looks like an enemy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you just assume everyone's friendly. No sense bothering with it when everyone's just having fun. Sheepy: Grif: Fun... Sheepy: Grif:....I want to have fun, too. Sheepy: Bedi: We four can dress up together. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: [Quest Obtained: H(all)ow's My Costume?] Arsé-kun: *kay just applies his hand to he bridge of his nose. it's gonna be a long month* Sheepy: Bedi: Kay, how about you? Arsé-kun: Kay: What? Sheepy: Bedi: Do you have a costume ready? Arsé-kun: Kay: I was hoping you wouldn't ask. Sheepy: Bedi: If you don't, you can go as yourself. A good person! Arsé-kun: *Kay snorts* Arsé-kun: Merlin: If he went as the opposite of himself, that might be hard. Yaks are hairier than he is! Arsé-kun: *merlin gets hit with a throw pillow for his sins. by kay. of course.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay... becomes a yak on Halloween... Arsé-kun: Kay: nononoon Sheepy: Grif:...That's an unfortunate alternative to werewolves...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I heard we got one of those on campus! Maybe more! That, or some really excited dogs! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing! Sheepy: Grif: I've never fought one before. Sheepy: Grif: I want to fight a were yak! Sheepy: *Grif seems excited!* Sheepy: Grif:...Hmmm...? Those are alright... Sheepy: Grif: I want to see a yak... Sheepy: Bedi: One day when everything is back to normal, we all can go to the zoo. Arsé-kun: Kay: Brave words for someone within Fou's bullshit distance. Sheepy: Grif: I've been there before. They have cats, dogs, and even fish. They sell you smaller fish to feed to larger fish. But why not feed the larger fish to all fhe smaller fish? They seemed hungry. Sheepy: Grif: However, I didn't even see a horse, let alone a yak. Arsé-kun: Merlin: the discount zoo is really lacking. Sheepy: Grif: Can you buy horses at a real zoo? Sheepy: Bedi: I miss the real zoo... Arsé-kun: Kay: I miss 20-20 vision. Shit happens. Sheepy: Bedi: I wasn't thinking...! I just saw him in danger, and before I knew it... I was there! *he's clutching Airgetlam tightly...* The only thing I'd change is you not being there that day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why, so you can lose more than an arm? Fuck off with that shit. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not as though you being there changed a thing! All it did was get you hurt too! Arsé-kun: Merlin: SO HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD Sheepy: Grif: This is what they call a non square door. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Non sequitur, you mean. Sheepy: Grif: That. Sheepy: Grif: It's when you transition nonsensically because everything is terrible. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for my outburst. I should be better than that. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't, because I'm not. Olé. Sheepy: Bedi: No, you deserve to be angry. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I enter a dorm of heavily flawed people, destined to try to solve their problems as I discover friendship and acceptance. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't you have your own problems to deal with, bud? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Thankfully, they're within arm reach. Arsé-kun: Kay: what the Fuck is that supposed to mean Sheepy: Grif: We can hold hands with ease. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ew, no! That is not where I expected that to go! *despite this, he's still flustered* Sheepy: Grif: As my roommate, you are my problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then get ready for a lot of problems forever. Sheepy: Grif: Will we come to befriend one another? Or will we avoid each other, wishing the other ill will? Sheepy: Grif: I'd rather the former. Arsé-kun: Merlin: find out next time on dragon ball z Sheepy: Grif: I don't have any friends other than Elyan and my parents. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't have any choices in friends other than me so you can't be too picky. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, I want you to be my friend. Sheepy: Grif: However, if you view me as a monster, you'll just scream and run away like last night. Arsé-kun: Kay: That wasn't because of YOU, moron, it was... Uh, well.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do I gotta say it? Merlin already blabbed! Sheepy: Grif: But it's the response I often get. Sheepy: Grif: So it hurts me to get that response. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then maybe don't come back looking like you commit a triple homicide. That's my only condition. Sheepy: Grif: It's my job. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You won't be bloody if you don't get hit. Sheepy: Grif: I'll get hit less for you. Sheepy: Grif: In turn, we'll be friends. Although, while my charm is high, my charisma is low. Sheepy: Grif: So I have difficulties having small talk and I get burnt out with conversation easily. Sheepy: Grif: So being friends with me will be difficult. However, I've heard people who go to college like a challenge. Sheepy: *Merlin gets a text.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin's phone specifically does the *beep beep de beep* from kim possible, you know the sound* Sheepy: Grif:...beep beep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...?? *he checks* What does the football scholarship man want now? Sheepy: Gawain: [text: to Merlin] Were goinf ghost huntung @ that old hoyse!! Wanna come?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Gawain] Can you guys PLEASE plan things in advance for FIVE MINUTES? I was just sitting down to watch Monster's Inc! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Gawain] Are you guys already there? Sheepy: Gawain: [text: to Merlin] Yea Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, you can stay if you want, but Foobaw's offering some ghost hunting and you know I can't say no! Sheepy: Bedi: I'll come with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't die. Good luck have fun and all that. Sheepy: Bedi: Worry not. Ghosts aren't real. Sheepy: Bedi: And anyway, Gawain will be their first target. Sheepy: *Bedi heads out!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, hey, wait up!! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...right, sorry. Sheepy: *Bedi waits for Merlin.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin catches up with his coat, Bedi's coat, and his Cool Wizard Staff. Okay! Now we can go!* Sheepy: *Bedi puts his coat on, thanks Merlin, and heads off!* Sheepy: *in front of the old house is a group of people.* Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, there you are! Sheepy: Lucan: *he's with Gawain, wearing a flu mask. For once, he's out of the hospital!* Sheepy: Gawain: We were just going to go in without you! Sheepy: Lucan: No, we weren't. Arsé-kun: Lot: We weren't? Sheepy: Lucan: Well, we should have. Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* Arsé-kun: Lot: We really should have. We already lost Tristan. Sheepy: Lucan: No huge loss. Sheepy: Lucan: No, wait... if we need a sacrifice, he's perfect! Arsé-kun: Lot: He's too unimportant. It wouldn't work. Sheepy: Tristan:...Oh... this is so sad... Merlin's been deemed unimportant... *harp strum* I'll cry for you, my friend. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can't I at least decide on my own sad sacrifical scene?! Sheepy: Lucan: Oh, you're offering to be our sacrifice? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No!!! Sheepy: Lucan: Too bad... Sheepy: Lucan: Anyway, we shouldn't stand around forever. I'm not supposed to be out, but a certain someone dragged me out claiming that some "vitamin D in my lungs should make them stronger". Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, that makes sense. The sun makes plants grow so your lungs should grow, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You know what? I think listening to Grif made more sense than this whole exchange. Sheepy: Bedi:...I'm kidding, of course. Sheepy: Gawain: Anyway, let's go, team! Sheepy: *Gawain heads in. Tristan sticks with Lance and Lot rather than following Gawain, still playing his harp* Arsé-kun: Merlin: See, now THAT'S an unwitting sacrifice waiting to happen! Sheepy: Lucan: Let's let him go alone. Arsé-kun: Lance: So Tristan can cry about it later? Let's not. Sheepy: Lucan: You're no fun. Sheepy: *The group heads into the house.* Sheepy: *Gawain is lying on the floor...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, he's dead, how tragic. Lets go home. Sheepy: Lucan: I'm sure nobody will care. Sheepy: Tristan: *sob* How sad...! He was so young! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was joking... Sheepy: Gawain: *groan* Sheepy: *Gawain clumsily pulls himself up.* Sheepy: Gawain: Something jumped on me. Arsé-kun: Lance: If it can knock you down, it must be big... Sheepy: Gawain: I didn't see it very well, but it was huge! Sheepy: Gawain: And after it hit me, it just hovered over me for a bit before leaving...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's.... Concerning, actually. Sheepy: Lucan: Maybe it was leaving to get a chainsaw. Arsé-kun: Lance: Not a good weapon. The chain is too fragile. Sheepy: Lucan: No self respecting haunted house doesn't have at least one monster with a chainsaw to chase down the first victim. Sheepy: Lucan: But if Gawain uses his skull to protect himself, he should be fine. It's full of rocks. Sheepy: Bedi: He should get that looked into... Arsé-kun: Lot: Well, after he inevitably gets his head cracked open, even we could look into it. Sheepy: Lucan: Not that we would find much. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, you'd find every rule of football in there at least. Arsé-kun: Lot: Rule one: concussion Sheepy: Lucan: Hey, Tristan's good at that Arsé-kun: Lot: Rule two: foot the ball. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, like this one? *he gestures to the ball rolling by their feet. It seems to have come from a nearby room...?* Sheepy: Gawain: If a ghost wants to play ball with me, how can I deny them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you sure about this? I'm getting some bad vibes here. Sheepy: Gawain: What's the worst that could happen? Sheepy: Gawain: Think about it logically. If people actually died here, the school would just burn the place down. Arsé-kun: Merlin: "Gawain's football career came to an abrupt end when he underestimated the dead and lost his leg. His only statement on the matter was "My friends were right. I do have rocks in my brain."" Sheepy: Gawain: Heyheyhey, I need my football career!!! Sheepy: Bedi: I think Merlin is right. This is a bad idea. Sheepy: Gawain: So it's a child ghost, right? It must just be lonely and want friends. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those are some of the worst kinds!! Sheepy: Gawain:...Although, whatever hit me wasn't a child and definitely went into the room this ball came from. Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe they're the worst because they're lonely. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're a lost cause. If you end up child sacrificee, it's your problem. Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch...! Sheepy: *Something big sounds like it's approaching them. Quickly. It comes into view...!* Sheepy: *It's a big, fluffy wolf with a bandana around its neck, its tail wagging at a million mph. It has a stuffed bear in its mouth. It hesitates briefly before it... playbows!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: :O Sheepy: Bedi: Um...That's not a child. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, oh! Are you Lobo?? *he's gone from serious to Excited real quick* Sheepy: Lobo: *he approaches Merlin before dropping the toy in front of him. He proceeds to nuzzle Merlin! Hello friend! Hello! You smell nice!!!* Sheepy: Gawain: Yeah, that's what tackled me! Arsé-kun: Lance: It's a giant dog... Sheepy: Gawain: It seems friendly. Sheepy: Gawain: I guess the ghost in this house was actually just a stray dog that took up residence here. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I've heard of Lobo. He's a fan of the math professor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks up and away from Lobo for a moment. right. bad vibes* There's something else. What I felt wasn't this big furball. Sheepy: Lobo: *he suddenly stops showering Merlin with affection, turning his attention to the front door. His friendly expression shifts to one of pure malice, followed by snarling...* Sheepy: ?: Hey! So nice of you to come over and play! I don't get so many friends here, so I'll pick the game, okay? Sheepy: Lucan: No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. You're supposed to go, "eheheh, wanna play?" before pulling a knife on us and singing, "let's play hide and seek~!" before giving us a few minutes of time to flee and then slaughtering all of us. Sheepy: Lucan: Of course, because we stupidly split up, we can't just send you to the next life by punting you. Sheepy: ?: ....... Sheepy: Lucan: Anyway, I'll give you a chance to try that again and I'll rate your performance. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *with his phone camera rolling* Can you just turn into a horrible thing next? Sheepy: ?: ....You're...really killing my vibes. Sheepy: Lucan: 1/10. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... You can keep teasing if you want, but I'm gonna stop. Sheepy: ?: ...Alright, you've ticked me off! I wait all year for this and you guys just come in here and criticize me...?! Sheepy: ?: *their body begins twisting and contorting before something that very much belongs off the path bursts out of them!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: THAT'S WHY IT'S TIME TO GO HAHA FUCK Sheepy: Lucan: What is that doing on the path?! Sheepy: ?: You wanna play hide and seek, eh? Ten! Sheepy: Lobo: *whiiiiiiine, growlllll* Arsé-kun: Lot: You suggested it!! Merlin's right, lets get the hell out of here! Sheepy: Lucan: Well, it's decided to block rhe front door, so I guess we should just break a window, huh...?! Sheepy: ?: Five! Arsé-kun: Lot: Shut up and hide, idiot! Sheepy: *Lucan takes Lot's advice.* Sheepy: ?: One...! Arsé-kun: *NOBODY'S HERE BUT US LIGHTS AND WE'RE ALL OUT* Sheepy: *The monster begins seeking them.* Sheepy: ?: You know, this is where I say "come out, come out, wherever you are...!" But you know what? What kind of idiot actually comes out upon being asked, huh? Sheepy: ?: Hey, hey. Knock knock. Sheepy: Gawain, hidden: Who's there? Sheepy: ?: M͖̺͖̩̜̦͓͝E͚̪̥̮̺̰̖! *he lunges at Gawain and grabs him. Gawain screams!* Sheepy: *The creature drags Gawain off...* Sheepy: *Gawain's shouting grows fainter as a door audibly opens. It stops upon the door closing.* Arsé-kun: *well he's dead* Sheepy: *Lobo is with Merlin and Bedi, gently nudging Merlin with his snout. Somewhere along the way, he picked up the teddy bear he had previously.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you want us to follow you..? Sheepy: *Lobo starts walking away before turning to look expectantly at Merlin. Seems that’s a yes!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, lets go, before the weird child catches up. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: *Bedi follows Lobo.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin does as well* Sheepy: *Lobo leads them to an upstairs room.* Arsé-kun: *you know how loud Old keyboards are? the big blocky white ones? yeah. Yeah. it's loud* Sheepy: *Lobo walks in, uncaring about his intrusion of privacy. Bedi hesitantly follows.* Sheepy: Lobo: *he approaches the source of the sound, tail wagging* Arsé-kun: *the typing briefly stops and lobo gets pet. typing resumes* Sheepy: Bedi: ...Um, hello? I hope we aren't bothering you, but our friend ran into here and ended up getting attacked... Now something is after us. Sheepy: Bedi: So if you could help us, that would be appreciated. Arsé-kun: *typing has stopped again. another monitor in the room-which is covered in computer stuff- flickers on. more typing* Arsé-kun: ?: *text on the second monitor* [I HEARD. I WILL PROVDE ASSISTANCE. /end] Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi: We won't come uninvited again. I apologize for our rude behavior. Arsé-kun: *♪I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOO-OOORLD♫* Arsé-kun: ?: [HE IS NOT HARD TO LOCATE. /end] Sheepy: ?: *They yelp, shifting to a much more presentable look - that of a very familiar janitor/counselor - before answering the phone* Arsé-kun: ?: Get out of my house. Sheepy: Nyar: I'm busy teaching these idiots survival techniques! Arsé-kun: ?: You're scaring Lobo. Finish throwing them outside and then leave. Sheepy: Nyar: Ugh, fine! Nobody here is any fun! Arsé-kun: ?: .... Do you need help? Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah. Nobody's reacting like they used to. Sheepy: Nyar: You know what the problem is with college students? Arsé-kun: ?: That they're more afraid of debt and their futures than you? Get with the times, old man. Sheepy: Nyar: They take one look at me shifting into an abomination and ask me out! Arsé-kun: ?: That sounds like an entirely personal problem. Do you want the breaker down or the sprinklers up? Sheepy: Nyar: Breaker? Arsé-kun: ?: Breaker it is. *a flip by the desk is flipped. the power goes out downstairs. All of it* Sheepy: Nyar: Thanks! Sheepy: Bedi:.? Sheepy: Bedi:...So we're just... free to go, right? Sheepy: Bedi: But we have to get Lucan before we go. Everyone else... if his goal is just to throw people out, um... Arsé-kun: ?: [YOU CAN LEAVE. HE'S HARMLESS. IT'S THE SEASON. /end] Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I appreciate it. Sheepy: *Bedi exits to look for Lucan, followed by Lobo* Arsé-kun: *Merlin takes a moment to catch onto this trend. He was busy being starry-eyed at the ghost. Don't worry, he will catch up.* Sheepy: Bedi: We should check if he's outside first. Arsé-kun: *Merlin presses his face against one of the windows* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see...! Nothing because it's dirty as hell. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm... Sheepy: Bedi: Let's go outside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good plan. Sheepy: *Bedi heads outside.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin follows him, of course* Sheepy: *Tristan is lying facedown on the ground, Gawain prodding him. Lucan is sitting nearby, looking pale.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I take it you three are okay? Sheepy: Gawain: Your butt usually comes pre-cracked but he decided to help out and crack it for me just in case. Sheepy: Tristan: *mumbling* Sheepy: Gawain: Man, if this affects my upcoming game...! Sheepy: Bedi: That'd be your fault, wouldn't it? Sheepy: *Lucan's uncharacteristically quiet.* Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, wait... Sheepy: Gawain: You guys just walked out, didn't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, so! There is actually a ghost and he's NOT happy with the other guy! Sheepy: Gawain: Ugh, and I missed it? I was happy thinking maybe I saw it and it was this dog. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think he's a ghost... Arsé-kun: Merlin: The upstairs typing guy was totally a ghost! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, no, I agree. Sheepy: Bedi: I just don't think Lobo is. Sheepy: Gawain: I really miss everything! Sheepy: Lobo: *in the background he's harassing Lucan in an attempt to comfort him. the goodest boy* Sheepy: Gawain: Did I miss anything else? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Someone's cell phone blasting Barbie Girl. I think it was that custodian. Sheepy: Gawain: Custodian? Sheepy: Gawain: That creep who always has a smug grin? Sheepy: Bedi: My cousin called him his "uncle", which doesn't bring me comfort... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently it's his idea of a fun time to mess with kids and "Teach them proper survival skills". I think we all failed. Sheepy: Bedi: So far, Lance and Lot haven't. Sheepy: Bedi: Are they okay, I wonder...? Sheepy: *Lobo suddenly stops shoving his face into Lucan's space, lifting up his head and staring off into space* Arsé-kun: *very distant complaining* Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: *Grif comes into view, dragging Kay along with him* Sheepy: Lobo: *he snarls* Arsé-kun: Kay: ---And anyway, sure, fine, you want moral support, but can't you ask literally anyone ELSE?! Seriously? What am I gonna do?? Give Gawain another concussion?? Sheepy: Grif: No. You're my only human friend Sheepy: Grif: If you cheer me on, you'll like me more. Arsé-kun: Kay: *why am I here, just to suffer* Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, it looks like almost everyone is out. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Hi, Grif. Lobo's here. Look at him! *he pats Lobo* Look at the big good boy! Sheepy: Lobo: *he's anxiously watching Grif* Sheepy: Grif: He's my friend, secretly. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Y'know, suddenly a lot of things make sense now. Sheepy: *Lobo doesn't appear to agree with Grif's statement.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, are you a dog person? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm human. Arsé-kun: Kay: Unless for once you're being figurative? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I answer this, can you let me go?? Sheepy: Grif: You're coming with me, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Kay: In there? Where you said there was a.... Whatever you said?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I won't. Sheepy: Grif: I'll be fine. Because you told me not to come home roughed up. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, it's my uncle, so I'm not too worried. Arsé-kun: Kay: oh no. Sheepy: Gawain: You guys are kinda late... Don't go in there. Something horrible is in there. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go inside, Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't think I'm getting much of a choice in the matter. Trust me, I don't want to. Sheepy: *Nyar stops prowling around and stares at the two blankly* Arsé-kun: Kay: Mr. Janitor? My roommate is here to obliterate you. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, we can talk about this!! Sheepy: Grif: You two can talk over whatever you please as I beat you up. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can I at LEAST be out of combat range??? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Nyar: Listen, I was trying to teach them not to go into haunted mansions! Sheepy: Nyar: It starts off with mansions and only goes on to going off the path! Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. You've never done anything good intentionally. Arsé-kun: Kay: *backing away until he's with everyone else* Yeah, I don't know either. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for him dragging you here. He's... Arsé-kun: Kay: He's Grif. I know. Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't listen very well. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh. Yeah, probably. You guys wanna fuck outta here and watch movies? It's what I was trying to do before this. Sheepy: Lucan: What are you watching, horror movies? Great, not like I can get much worse. Let's do it. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, let's go! Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe you should focus on getting better, not worse. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wasn't, but we may as well. It's not like anything can get better... Sheepy: Bedi: Things can always get better. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, it's over?*he's peering out the front door with Lot* Sheepy: Lucan: Yes, some creep walked in and presumably attacked what attacked us. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's my roommate, and that looks like the janitor. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, okay. *saying this, he casually threw aside a large rock* Sheepy: Lucan: Unfortunately also my cousin, but thankfully he didn't notice me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Probably for the best. Sheepy: Grif: *he's standing in the doorway. dad said it's his turn to play the xbox* No. Bedi said you're sick. You can't rush. ... Anyway, Kay, I want to find out how the movie ends. Monster's Ink. When will the writing start...? Will the child go home? And so on. Sheepy: Lucan:?! Sheepy: Lucan: Don't you dare get close to me and bite me. Sheepy: Grif: I can't bite you from afar. Sheepy: Lucan: Well, don't come at me, then! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, I thought you said you don't go after people. Lucan's a person, fuck off. Sheepy: Grif: I'm not going to bite him. I was pointing out an issue with his comment. Sheepy: Grif: Why would I bite him? Arsé-kun: Kay: You're so damn literal that I can't tell when you aren't. Whatever. Fuck this. I'm leaving. Sheepy: Grif: Where are we going? Arsé-kun: Kay: Where the hell do you think? Seriously. Sheepy: Grif: Usually in my brain. Sheepy: Grif: But I guess some people do it outside of their brain. Sheepy: Grif: So I suppose that's a valid question. Arsé-kun: Kay: Goddammit. Fucking hell. Fuck me running. Shut up and lets just go already. *he gestures vaguely towards everyone else that isn't Bedi and Merlin* You guys may as well show up, if Shitlips or Bedi didn't invite you already. Sheepy: Tristan: We will all go together. What a truly beautiful thing. Sheepy: Tristan: The beauty... of friendship. Sheepy: Grif: If I turned on my profanity censor, it would serve as a mute button for you. Arsé-kun: *Kay gives up around now* Sheepy: Grif:....Ha. Ha. Ha. Sheepy: Grif: I have no profanity censor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe not, but we really could get one for Kay. ... But then we really wouldn't hear from him! Sheepy: Grif: What a shame. Sheepy: Grif: It's fine. He can communicate through body language. Sheepy: *Grif starts following Kay. Ominous* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't bother telling him off. He's so absolutely finished with this scenario.* Sheepy: Grif: I feel like we've bonded today. Arsé-kun: Kay: I feel like I need booze. Sheepy: Grif: I feel the joy of friendship. Sheepy: Grif: But I can't relate to the need for booze. Sheepy: Grif: I don't drink. Sheepy: Lucan: I knew it. You have rabies after all. Arsé-kun: Lot: He doesn't look like an infected raccoon. Sheepy: Grif: No, I don't have any pets... and I wouldn't choose a rabies anyway. I'd probably choose a dog. Arsé-kun: Kay: So what the hell's that bird?? Sheepy: Grif: He's my friend. Sheepy: *There's an unexpected member of the group following everyone. It's Lobo!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *PUBBY!!* Sheepy: Grif: I found him in a puddle. Arsé-kun: Lot: Like a parrot? Sheepy: Lobo: *he's sticking with Merlin!* Sheepy: Grif: Like a goose. Sheepy: Grif: You usually find geese in puddles. Parrots, not so much. Sheepy: Grif: However, could you find a parrot in a puddle? It's possible. Arsé-kun: Lot: Sure, why not? Any bird could use any water provided they fit in it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I can use any water provided I fit, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't use public fountains! Apparently that's looked down upon! But then why is it public? Sheepy: Grif: Birds use fountains to bathe so Ishould be able to use them too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're not a bird. Sheepy: Grif: And the laws are made for humans, yet they give birds rights that no human has. Sheepy: Bedi: No, it's just that birds won't listen to human laws. Sheepy: Grif: Nor will I. Arsé-kun: Lance: A bird once got arrested on larceny. Sheepy: Grif: What? Really? Sheepy: Grif: Did you arrest it? Arsé-kun: Lance: No? Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Mysterious... Sheepy: *They arrive at the dorm!* Sheepy: Grif: Behold. The dorm. Sheepy: Lucan: Yes, we've been here many times. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I haven't. Arsé-kun: *Fou is eating cold popcorn that got left behind* Sheepy: Grif: Hello, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fmmw Sheepy: Bedi: Is that good for Fou...? Arsé-kun: Kay: No idea. Don't care. Where's the bird? Sheepy: Grif: I don't see Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan? Sheepy: *There's no response...* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Arsé-kun: Kay: Concerning. Find your bird. Sheepy: Grif: I'll check my room. You can check yours. Arsé-kun: Kay: Must I? *he says, already checking* Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Kay: JESUS Sheepy: Grif: You found him. Congratulations. Here is your prize. *Grif starts clapping his hands incorrectly* Sheepy: Grif: He's very sneaky. Sheepy: Grif: He can open doors. He can also sneak under them. Arsé-kun: Kay: But can he operate the fridge? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Can you? Arsé-kun: Kay: obviously. Sheepy: Grif: Then why couldn't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: Birds don't have human hands. Sheepy: Grif: But he's a goose. Sheepy: Grif: Geese can do anything they please. Sheepy: *Elyan is ignoring this, focusing on preening himself* Arsé-kun: Lot: That's a peacock. Sheepy: Grif: I don't see the resemblance. Sheepy: Gawain: It's a turkey! Woah! But it's too early for turkey dinner, isn't it? Sheepy: Gawain: That's a month away. Although, I'm excited about it! Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes...Mashed sweet potatoes.. Sheepy: Gawain: Right, and turkey! Sheepy: Grif: Elyan isn't food. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't waste those potatoes again! There could be starving kids in Ireland and you're over here shitting out a billion potatos, you goddamn potato fucker Sheepy: Gawain: They're my favorite food...! Arsé-kun: Kay: And guess who ate most of it? You! Sheepy: Gawain: Yeah! Sheepy: Bedi: I wanted some... Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: What are you talking about? Arsé-kun: *Fou is investigating Lobo in the background* Sheepy: *Lobo is carefully sniffing at Fou* Arsé-kun: Kay: About how Gawain wastes potatoes because he eats like ten servings of them at once and then wonders why his carbs are through the roof. Sheepy: Gawain: It's worth it! Sheepy: Grif: He even eats your food? Sheepy: Grif: Don't eat my food. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, it's our food on Thanksgiving. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know that that is. Sheepy: Gawain: It's potato day! Sheepy: Gawain: Although, I guess I'm supposed to keep a strict diet... Eh... Sheepy: Gawain: Nobody actually knows until I start playing a little off. Sheepy: Grif: Then just don't play a little off. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's got a point. Get good. Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch... You get good! Then we can compete, Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Last time you got in the pool, you looked like a retarded deer on acid. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey! I-I've gotten better! Sheepy: Grif: Pool... Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif:.....! Sheepy: Grif: I went in one earlier. Arsé-kun: Kay: That was the bathroom. Sheepy: Grif: With a pool inside. Sheepy: Gawain: Since when?! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's called a shower. Sheepy: Grif: Shower.... Sheepy: Grif: I'm fresh now. My cleanliness is high. Arsé-kun: Kay: The trials and tribulations of your roommate's first language not being english. Yippee. Sheepy: Gawain: I got excited for a moment there... Sheepy: Grif: Tell me about pools. Sheepy: Gawain: They're a pool of water and you swim in them. Arsé-kun: Lot: A manmade lake, but there's no fish or anything. It's just for swimming. Sheepy: Grif: A pool is a body of a liquid... The water is only implied... Therefore, there's also pools of lava. Arsé-kun: Lot: This is true, but we don't swim in lava. If we did, that one time would be our only. Sheepy: Grif: I don't swim in lava for one reason. Sheepy: Grif: I can't swim. Arsé-kun: Lot: That's unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: My swimming level is 0. Sheepy: Grif: However, my STR is high. Arsé-kun: Lot: In theory, just being somewhat submerged in water would help, yeah? Sheepy: Grif: You mean that if I sit in water, my swimming level will slowly increase...? Sheepy: Grif: Like how repeatedly cooking Mashed Potato (ingredients: Potato) will increase your cooking level, although later on the experience from it will be minimal at best. Sheepy: Gawain: Real mashed potatoes have more than just potatoes in them... Sheepy: Grif: You need variety of experience. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go make a goddamn sandwich or something. Get in the kitchen and learn. Sheepy: Grif: Me? Sheepy: Grif: Sandwich. Ingredients: Bread. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not you, moron, the bigger moron. Sheepy: Gawain: Have you tried potato salad sandwiches? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you use my goddamn potatoes at all, I'll send you into another plumbing system. Sheepy: Grif: Potato salad sandwich. Ingredients: Potato. Lettuce. Bread. Sheepy: Gawain: Where did lettuce come from...? Where did everything else go?! Sheepy: Grif: Salad. Ingredients: Lettuce. Sandwich. Ingredients: Bread. Potato. Ingredients: Potato. Arsé-kun: Kay: How to make a meal when you have a hangover, a thread. Sheepy: Grif: I’ll hangover at your dorm for a long time. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, that was actually a good one. Sheepy: Grif: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Either way, at this rate I'm gonna have to kick both your asses. I'm not teaching both of you fuckers how to make food. Sheepy: Gawain: I can make mashed potatoes! Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have one more trick up my sleeve. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you even LOOK at my goddamn potatoes, Gawain, I am going to give you such a fuckin' awful swirlie that you'll be in fucking Australia. Sheepy: Bedi: Everyone knows how to make that. Sheepy: Grif: Today I learned. Arsé-kun: Kay: What about the fucking cup??? You can't have a... You know what? Never mind. I feel like this is going somewhere. Sheepy: Grif: What counts as a cup? Sheepy: Grif: A cup is anything that holds a liquid. Arsé-kun: Lance: *distantly* a cup Sheepy: Grif: A cup of hands. It cups water. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey! I hate that image. Thanks! Sheepy: Grif: A cup of plastic. It’s plastic. Sheepy: Grif: A cup of mouth. My mouth is a cup. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ok time to stop speaking. Sheepy: Grif: If you put your head under water and open your mouth, it’s a cup. Sheepy: Grif: Behold, the fruits of my knowledge. Sheepy: Lucan: If I found the fruits of your knowledge in the produce bin I would put them back. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, Kay, you can teach me how to cook. Sheepy: Grif: I learn quickly. Arsé-kun: Kay: fuck Sheepy: Grif: How quickly, you may wonder? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Grif: I do something and attain knowledge of it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually, I do have one thing. It's called "How to use the microwave and not blow up the fucking dorms" Sheepy: Grif: Microwave... Arsé-kun: Kay: the thing that buzzed and popped a bunch before beeping. That thing. Sheepy: Grif: What are we doing? Arsé-kun: Kay: I already told you. Sheepy: Grif: We’re learning how to use the microwave. Sheepy: Grif: The big button opens it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' job. You know a thing. I now see the problem with this lesson. Arsé-kun: *Lance, raiding the pantry in the background. He is permitted. This time.* Sheepy: Grif: I don’t. Sheepy: Grif: Is it the fact that the buttons have writing on them? Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I can read ten of them. Arsé-kun: Kay: It is. .. But we're mostly using the number part so it doesn't matter! Sheepy: Grif: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Sheepy: Grif: That’s most of the buttons. Sheepy: Grif: But go on. Sheepy: Grif: I know a step. Put the food in. Punch in numbers. One of the buttons turns it on. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yes. Sheepy: Grif: Then you take it out. Arsé-kun: *Kay teaches Grif how to use the microwave. Kay gains +1 tolerance but lost -5 patience.* Sheepy: Grif: I feel the flames of our bond kindling within me. Soon it will grow greater than the small sparks it currently is. Arsé-kun: Kay: I feel like it's time for booze. Sheepy: Grif: But not right now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh Sheepy: Grif: It’s soon. We just have to keep interacting to grow closer. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he takes one step closer* wow. we're closer now. wahoo. Arsé-kun: *sass.mp4* Sheepy: Grif: Ah... you’re being sarcastic. Arsé-kun: Kay: You did it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I learned to detect some sarcasm from you. Arsé-kun: *RANK KU HA. BOND!* Sheepy: Grif: ...! Sheepy: Grif: Bond UP!! Arsé-kun: *GRIFLET WILL NOW DIE FOR YOU* Sheepy: Grif: I’ll now tank one hit for you. Congratulations! *clap clap clap* Arsé-kun: Kay: ........ Okay, I actually feel a headache coming on now. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to get booze. finally. sweet relief*

[kbunburyhelps]

KBUNBURYHELPS FC SUGGESTIONS: DARK SKIN BLACK FEMALES

So the rpc keeps playing like dark skinned black actresses don’t exist and when they decide to acknowledge them it’s really just Ryan Destiny and recently China Anne McClain (mainly due to Descendants 2 and the announcement of Black Lightning which I’m super excited for but I digress) which is great but like they are not your only sources of dark skin females. Then again, more than half of y’all still using only Zendaya(who I love and would love to be her best friend but dang y’all) to stand for all black characters. Get your life. Anyway for all who know about color and all that, the word dark skin is so subjective and it’s hard to categorize just so you know before attacking my inbox about how ‘they aren’t really dark’. I personally don’t consider them that dark but they are darker than the majority of what the rpc currently uses. Dark to a Sudanese person might not be the same dark to a South African or a West African or to a person from the Islands. You get the point.. I was mainly just going to do an under 30′s list but the rpc likes them young (which sounds super creepy when I say it like that but am I lying?) and yet still plays Ian Somerhalder as a high schooler so I don’t even know. If you haven’t realize yet, this intro is trash and you’ll be better off just going to the names already. Sit down. Take several seats. Be Humble. Gif them, love them, use them. I shouldn’t have to say this but please look up their exact identities and don’t erase them.

NOTE: If you’re only going to use these females to push stereotypes about dark skinned women, just scroll on past. Yeah, keep going, it’s a long post. We have enough issues, don’t need you adding to them. If you need to know what stereotypes to avoid, use google. Have a nice day. AGAIN DO NOT USE TO PUSH DARK SKIN BLACK WOMEN STEREOTYPES.

NOTE: For the love of all that is good and holy and pure in this world, do not whitewash them. You can miss me with that ‘it’s for the aesthetics’ ish. AGAIN DO NOT WHITEWASH.

China Anne McClain: Turning 19 this year (1998). Aye my girl, you guys might know her from ANT Farm and Descendants 2. It actually pains me to say that because you should all remember her from House of Payne and Daddy’s Little Girls (with Idris) but whatever. Anyway gifs of her are probably all coming from Descendants but she’ll also be in Black Lightning and hopefully someone will gif it.

CoCo Jones: Turned 19 this year (1998). Another of throwbacks. She’s an actress, singer, and songwriter. She was on So Random! and this year acted in the movie Grandma’s House and is recording some movie called Flock of Four. Don’t know if she’s giffed, don’t think so.

Diamond White: Turned 18 this year (1999). Not that well known but she should be. She was in a YoutTube Red show called Guidance and Sing It! She also acted in a movie called Boo! A Madea Halloween 1 and is currently filming  #2 of Boo! A Madea Halloween. @casshelps bless her, has giffed her,

Imani Hakim: Turned 24 this year (1993). Throwback to anyone, this girl is known for her role as Tasha on Everybody Hates Chris. As of this year, she has recently acted in Burning Sands and some short called The Dissection of Jack & Jill. Definitely doubt if she’s been giffed.

Keke Palmer: Turning 24 this year (1993). Very well known for a lot of roles but especially as Akeelah in Akeelah and the Bee, True Jackson in True Jackson V.P., and Zayday Williams in Scream Queens. There aren’t that many recent gif packs of her but have no fear I’ve giffed her.

Lovie Simone: Turning 19 this year (1998). Not well known, just started acting last year. She’s been acting in Greenleaf and was in an episode of Orange Is The New Black. She is also filming a movie this year. She’s been giffed but only in gif sets and I’m pretty sure all but one have text.

Ryan Destiny: Turned 22 this year (1995). Started becoming big the year Star came out. Acted in a movie called A Girl Like Grace and of course known for Star. I’ve giffed her, many people have giffed her.

Raven Goodwin: Turned 25 this year (1992). Should be known for her role as Teddy’s best friend on Good Luck Charlie but honestly, I don’t know what y’all watch. She’s currently on Being Mary Jane which really, does that mean anything to you people? Like do you know of these shows? I’ve seen a gif pack of her from Good Luck Charlie.

Need More suggestions? Look under the cut for more beautiful women.

The names below this cut are more suggestions that I just didn’t feel like making another graphic for but knowing my procrastination skills, I probably will end up doing. Anyway, their pictures are linked with their names which is why their names are italicized.

Mouna Traore: Age unknown. She’s a Canadian actress. Not well known in the U.S. but she’s acted in The Murdoch Mysteries and Hemlock Grove. For the record, I did gif her so some gifs of her do exist.

Sierra Aylina McClain: Turned 23 this year (1994). She is the older sister of China Anne McClain and honestly should be just as famous and popular. She’s also known for Daddy’s Little Girls. She is currently playing Nessa on Empire and will be in Honey 4. Let’s be real the peope who gif Empire gif like 4 people so I don’t doubt there not being that many gifs of her.

Lauryn Alisa McClain: Turned 20 this year (1997). Honestly hasn’t been on tv recently as much as her sisters but was in BearCity3 (2016). Known for Daddy’s Little Girls and mainly known for composing. I don’t think I’ve seen gifs of her.

Tanyell Waivers: Age unknown. She’s an actress who isn’t well known because she got her first acting gig in Queen Sugar and so far that’s it I think. I did gif her, but the gifs I made of her suck so I may redo them. Or y’all can request gifs of her to makers who have gif packs open, use her.

Denee Benton: Turning 25 this year (1992). She’s an actress both Broadway and stage but mainly Broadway. On Broadway she’s been in The Book of Morman and Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812 and on tv she’s only been in UnReal. I will be giffing her eventually in UnReal, at least in some of the episodes she appears in. Girl has been nominated for a Tony Award so obviously she should be used.

Reiya Downs: Turning 18 this year (1999). She’s known for Degrassi Next Class, she has a little sister who looks just like her and is also acting. She’s adorable and for all your ‘actually looks like a highschooler’ needs. I honestly don’t know if anyone gifs her in Degrassi but they should.

Camille Winbush: Turned 27 this year (1990). You may recognize her from the Bernie Mac Show (R.I.P). She’s known for the Secret Life of the American Teenager and even then I don’t know if she’s that well known. Other than acting in The Choir recently, she’s mainly filming two movies this year named Everything But a Man and Bachelor Lions. I have personally giffed her a bit.

Yindra Zayas: Turning 23 this year (1994). You may or may not recognize her but if you watch Girl Meets World you really should. She plays one of the background filler students who occasionally does something. Literally most of her IMDB she goes uncredited ‘cause she’s that much away from a main character. But this girl doesn’t even look her age. I highly doubt there’s that many gifs of her, if any.

Stefanee Martin: She’s 26 that’s all I know about her age. If you watched The Get Down then you definitely recognize her, even if The Get Down has come across your dash a couple times you probably still recognize her. She plays Yolanda, other than The Get Down there’s not much past acting experience. She is filming a movie called Skin in the Game. I’m sure there are some gifs of her, probably more gif sets than packs though.

Asha Bromfield: According to riverdale wiki she’s turning 23 this year (1994). If you think Riverdale is her first acting role then you’re dead wrong but it is probably her biggest or one of it. She did act in The Gabby Douglas Story (along with Imani Hakim) but I don’t know how many people watched that. I’m not sure if there are gifs of her at all.

Karidja Touré: Turned 23 this year (1994). She’s a French actress, possibly why you haven’t heard of her but she did make a big break in 2014 in Girlhood aka Bande de filles. She didn’t act again until this year where she’s been in more french movies. You’re probably thinking, but why would I suggest her if she’s not really known, girl probably doesn’t have gifs. That’s where you’re wrong. Right here you can find enough gifs for using her as a faceclaim. What’s your excuse now. Bless @casshelps again.

Nafessa Williams: Turning 28 this year (1989). I’m only featuring her because I’ve talked about Black Lightning so much I might as well add her. She’s known for her role in One Life to Live. She’s also acted in Burning Sands and will be acting in Black Lightning. Look at this point I’ve hyped up this show so much it literally cannot/should not let me down. No idea if she’s been giffed but again with Black Lightning coming out I hope to God someone will gif her.

Don’t like my other suggestions check my page. Checked there and want other suggestions but don’t know where to look? Use IMDB, check your popular shows. They might not be main actresses but usually there’s a darker skin’d female that’s played a side or very background character. Check Oprah shows, Tyler Perry Movies or Shows, black stations like BET…. well (some of y’all know what that well means, if you don’t, don’t worry about it). Look at Soap Opera’s they’re more diverse than I bet you give them credit for. Look at shows and movies from popular services that have black people as main characters (gasp yes black people as main characters do exist outside of BET) like Netflix’s Dear White People and the original movie or Burning Sand. Check IMDB lists, I can’t tell you how many imdb lists there are of dark skinned black actresses of all ages, even of just black actresses.

If you find no faceclaims after doing all of that, then you don’t want to play a dark skinned black female in the first place and please don’t use some stupid excuse. Don’t bother.

AGAIN DO NOT USE TO PUSH DARK SKIN WOMEN STEREOTYPES. DO NOT WHITEWASH. I really shouldn’t have to repeat it but I know that’s the only way some of you will listen.

[lavidademarimar]

HEYA! Here’s the pretty masterlist with all previous days. Talk to me and let me know what you think <3 

Summary: Jack won the battle but hasn’t won the war.

Warnings: none

Day Thirteen - What if we’re making a mistake?

‘I am so excited!!!!!!!’ Oli screamed. 

Lucia and Elena looked aghast. 

‘What is the purpose of me whispering these things to you if you’re going to shout it from the roof?’ Elena was annoyed. ‘I don’t even know how to whisper properly! I am making a huge effort!’

The girls had gone a little further away from the group. Fionn and Harry were taking their mid-afternoon naps.

Oli hugged her. ‘I love this so much. Finally. This guy is crazy about you. This has so much potential to be life changing and amazing. Can you imagine what you’ll tell your children?’

‘Whoa. Stop right there,’ Lucia finally intervened. Olivia’s madness needed to be reined in. ‘No one is going to have children anytime soon, especially the one that’s been fucking a guy for twelve days only.’

‘You two take me way too seriously. I was only joking,’ Oli huffed. 

Elena and Lucia stared at Olivia, knowing perfectly well she wasn’t joking. She never joked about marriages and parenting. 

‘Anyway… If you’re sure this is what you want to do, then I support it. I really like these guys, and Jack has proven he’s worthy. I just think you need to address the Harry thing at some point,’ said Lucia, being the sound friend, as always.

‘Yeah, that was a bit of a red flag. And it should be a red flag for you because you have so many guy friends. Who says this doesn’t happen again with one of your friends? With your roommate?’ Olivia sobered up from her motherly high and went back to business.

Elena almost cackled. ‘Jack has no life against my friends.’

‘Does he know that?’ Oli asked.

‘Well, he’ll find out when he meets them. Poor thing. He must think you two are the most intimidating friends he’ll have to deal with,’ Elena giggled. 

Elena actually hadn’t thought about Jack meeting her friends. She hadn’t thought about anything regarding going back home. She sighed, her new reality kicking in. She’d said she and Jack would give it a go. Jack had no idea how hectic Elena’s life in Brussels was. There it was again. The doubt. The voice. He’d leave her after a month of begging to see her, to talk to her, to have her give him just a few minutes of her time. It just wasn’t sustainable. They’d both end up hurt. 

Elena didn’t realise she’d stopped talking and stared blankly ahead of her for about five minutes. 

‘Hey? Hello? Come back from Saturn,’ Oli slowly waved a hand in front of her. 

‘I’m sorry. I…drifted.’

‘Are you okay?’ Lucia asked.

‘I’ll be right back.’ Elena stood up and walked towards the ocean. It had been two days since she almost drowned but she needed to clear her head. 

She was alone again, but walked carefully. The waves were manageable and soon she dunked herself and started swimming. The beach made her sound. Her time was up. Tomorrow they’d leave around noon to their regular lives, and Elena had a knot in her stomach. How the fuck was she going to balance her real life with this pseudo-boyfriend? Jack was time-demanding and possessive. How was that going to translate into her mobile? She had so many fucking questions that she wanted to answer herself, and she might have managed to get ahead had not a pair of large hands grabbed her waist and wrapped themselves around her. Jack’s beard was out of control at this point and her neck was ticklish even before he’d started kissing it.

‘I know why you’re here and you don’t have to worry about me. I’m way better. I’m okay,’ said Elena without even turning around. 

Jack laughed in her ear. ‘Ye know me too well already.’

She smiled. ‘I can’t believe we leave tomorrow.’

‘I know. I feel we’ve been here for months. I don’t really want to go back.’

‘Me either.’

She still didn’t turn around. She was staring at the ocean; how vast it was. How endless. She took deep breaths.

‘Are ye okay, Birdie?’ Jack started to worry. 

‘Yes, I’m fine. I just want to take all this in.’

That didn’t reassure him anything. He didn’t let her go. They stood in silence for a bit. Jack rubbed Elena’s neck softly, as if he knew her mind was in another dimension but her body was still there, and he needed her to come back. 

‘What if we’re making a mistake?’ Elena blurted it out. 

Jack sighed and almost chuckled. He knew. As soon he saw her by herself, he knew her mind was poisoned with doubt, and he cursed whatever or whomever had made Elena seem unworthy of having a man devote himself to her. If there was a person in the world who deserved it, it was Elena. 

‘I think the mistake would be if we go our separate ways tomorrow and leave it at that,’ Jack spoke softly, avoiding all type of confrontational tone that could put Ellie off. 

‘You’re going to hate me. You don’t know what my life is like in Brussels. I am overworked and underpaid and it’s hectic.’

‘Ye just described the life of any person of our generation that’s in the labour market, Elena. Do ye think I wake up and wank all day?’ He thought she was amusing at this point. He was no longer mortified by her. 

She faced him laughing and put her head on his chest. He felt warm and the smell of salt water had stuck to him. 

‘I am an idiot, aren’t I? Elena asked. 

‘Aye, ye are, but I want to be with ye anyway, so that makes me a bigger one.’ He wrapped his arms around her and put his chin on her head.  

Everyone had picked up on the change in Jack. It was too obvious how he just let the façade drop and been quite pleasant to be around. No more beard scratching and fidgeting and obsessively hovering over Elena. It was like he could finally relax completely. Jack wasn’t an arsehole, but he was the one that had made less of an effort to include himself in the group. The girls had noticed it, but hadn’t said anything because he made Elena happy, and that was more important than having an extra card player after dinner.

Olivia and Jack were the only ones in the house, watching a film. The others had gone to make last-minute purchases and get dinner. A barbecue to remember. Jack was surprisingly upbeat and chill. After that moment at the pier, he knew the war wasn’t won yet, but he was in high spirits anyway. He would see her soon in Belgium and he’d prove to Elena they could manage it. 

‘When are you going to Brussels?’ Olivia asked. 

‘In a fortnight,’ he said, not even looking at her. 

‘You’re ignoring what she’s asking.’

Jack pondered briefly exactly how much Elena had shared, but dismissed it quickly. He realised he didn’t give a fuck. He shrugged. ‘I’ll say it was impulsive and I just had to see her. Can ye give me her flatmate’s mobile so I can have some backup on what I want to do?’

She smiled. ‘Sure.’ 

‘Are ye going to tell her?’ he asked.

‘No. She deserves to be surprised,’ she grabbed his arm in a rare show of affection and approval. 

‘Aren’t ye going to threaten to kill me if I do something to yer girlfriend?’ He was doubtful of how Olivia was on his side. He’d also learnt by now how the dynamics were between them. If Adam found it funny that Elena and Olivia said they were girlfriends, he wouldn’t have a problem with it either. It was funny.

‘You’ve seen me handling knives. I don’t need to threaten you. Just know that it won’t be just me when we come for your head,’ she said calmly but with her crazy eyes very much out of orbit. 

He nodded. ‘Understood.’ 

Olivia would never be on his side.

Olivia grabs her phone and Jack’s vibrates. ‘There. I sent you Carlos and Andres’ contacts. She lives with Carlos but Andres and his girlfriend live in the same building and they’re always together.’

‘Thanks, Olivia,’ he said, hugging her unexpectedly.

‘You better be nice, Kevin McKidd.’ 

‘Did ye lot google Scottish actors just to spite me?’ he asked.

‘Of course we did,’ she smiled.

Tom opened the door and Elena came in carrying grocery bags. Jack took them out of her hands quickly.

‘Why are ye making any effort? I told ye to not let her do anything!’ he told Tom off.

‘Mate, you try telling the bird she can’t do something, yeah?’ said Harry, carrying a box of wine. 

‘I am fine!’ Elena was annoyed. 

Jack grabbed her face with both hands. ‘Let people help ye, Elena. Please. Yer not 100% okay yet.’

‘I’ll be the judge of that,’ she gave him a peck and followed Harry to make the sangria pitcher. 

He shook his head. 

‘You wanted to date the bird, eh? There you have her,’ said Fionn, shaking him back to reality. 

Jack laughed and scratched his beard. ‘I’m in way over my head, mate.’

Fionn put his arm on Jack’s shoulder and pressed it. ‘You are, but we like her more than we like you.’ 

Jack pushed him and Fionn almost fell to the floor. They laughed.

Harry and Jack were sat outside with a couple of beers. Whatever had happened previously was forgotten. It was always like this. Fionn and Tom were playing Heads Up! with the others, but these two weren’t in the mood. 

Jack also wanted to give Elena some space. He didn’t want her to feel smothered, but there was also a part of him that knew he needed to start preparing himself for the goodbye. She was right. It wasn’t going to be easy. Two weeks of sex and wine and laughter and overwhelming joy were now coming to an end, and he really wasn’t ready to wake up to an empty bed again. 

‘So, you’re going to go to Brussels even though she asked you not to go until you figure out how everything is going to go along between you lot?’ Harry shook his head.

‘Olivia gave me her flatmate’s number so I can tell him when I’m going,’ he said, looking into the house. 

Elena was sat on the floor, trying to guess something Tom was mimicking.

‘Well, if the girls approve, then all right. If not, you can ask her new best mate Thomas for any insight,’ Harry pointed at them. 

Jack laughed. ‘I bloody know, mate. Even if I’d done nothing with Elena, they’d still been best mates. It’s absurd. Ye want to know the worst part?’

‘What?’ Harry asked.

‘That fuckin’ walloper is going to Brussels next week for work, and guess where he’s going to stay?’ Jack shook his head. 

Harry burst out laughing. ‘Tom is going to see Elena before you are? What the fuck?!’

‘I know, mate. He’s the reason I’m not there next week.’ 

‘What about the flatmate?’ Harry asked.

‘She lives with one of her best friends from school, who is a lad,’ Jack shrugged. 

‘Another one that’s not going to get his nose broken,’ said Harry, shaking his head. 

Jack punched him in the arm. ‘Ye keep asking for it, mate. Anyway, I’m treading lightly there, I’m trying to wrap my head around that fact.’

‘Why don’t you ask her?’ asked Harry, stifling a laugh. 

‘Ye bloody arsehole. She said yes to dating me. I don’t give a fuck about anything else,’ said Jack proudly.

‘Sure you don’t, mate,’ Harry was sceptical. And he should be. He’d been on the receiving side of Jack’s jealousy to think that this was an on and off switch. 

‘Doesn’t she have some friends she can set me up with?’ Harry winked. 

‘I am very sure she could set ye up with a friend of hers.’

‘I may go after you get back then. I’m tired of London girls,’ Harry laughed.

NEXT: Part Nine

[hoothootmotherfluffers]

hi hi!! i love your blog and i was wondering if the mods have ever tried to match each other up with anyone?? (looking at you mod chimi! XD) if you haven't, you should!! who would each of the mods be matched up with for haikyuu!!, BNHA, and KNB?

HELLO hi this is chimi and actually before i was a mod, akaashi matched me with kuroo on here hahahaha but i haven’t officially matched anyone up?? haha but here i go!!!!

MIRIAM: i informally matched you up with iwaizumi and i still stand by that because the two of you would be so so SO sweet together and so supportive and like an ultimate parent duo?? so kind. so great. for BNHA i told you the other day (lmao) i’d match you up with ojirou!! he’s so kind and good and he’s honestly such a good guy and he really means well and i feel like between the two of you, you could guide any of your friends into doing good things!! for KNB, i have no clue because i’ve seen like two episodes and it makes no sense so i’m gonna leave that up to nana and akaashi haha

AKAASHI: hmmmmm for haikyuu i’d match you with suga!! you need someone who’s kind and supportive and always there but also someone who would push you out of your comfort zone a little?? and i feel like suga would be the calm presence you need without being too much :) for BNHA you and sparky!! denki is his actual name and i feel like he’d be fun enough to let you live a lil but also exercise your chance to be in control and you’d love that lmao you guys would be super cute. i love sparky. idk for KNB but probably danny phantom guy

NANA: okay i know i matched you up with ennoshita and i still lowkey stand by that but i feel like you and aone would be so cute??? idk you’re vivacious and he’s so dead silent but WOW you’d be cute lmao. for BNHA you and frogger (i think her name is tsuyu) because she’s a lil weird and you guys could b weird together but she’s still very sensible and could help when you get a lil crazy and you two would be a v v good match

LILO: OH MAN i think i’d match you with kags?? you’re both kind of serious but i feel like you’d get him to loosen up a little and between the two of you, both of you could have more fun!! for bnha i’d put you with Iida because you would definitely help him relax but he’d keep you on a good schedule and keep you motivated and it’d be adorable

anyways i’m chimi and that’s my analysis mod chimi out 

aye it’s my turn

MIRIAM: I will forever ship you with Iwa-chan, no exceptions. lol idk bnha so i’ll skip, but knb!!! hoo i think i’d ship you with kasamatsu? idk i feel like you two would just be so loyal to each other? and so cute? idk man but i can soooo  see it happening and like kasamatsu knows how to treat a lady right and thats exactly what u deserve because you’re gonna come home from work all tired and he’ll be there waiting with a bottle of wine and movies.

CHIMI: I ship you with Kiyoko!! Honestly you’re the prettiest couple ever and kiyoko would treat you so right!! she knows just the right things to make u blush like hell and she would soooo use it to her own advantage. for knb, i ship you with midorima! his uptight ass would piss you off so much and he’d be one of those people who are like “he’s an asshole why do i like him” but you guys would make such a good power couple honestly? like you both deeply care about each other and you constantly tease each other its so cute im

NANA: ok pls no hate but i ship you with Ushiwaka. idk why tbh? i just feel like you’re gonna be the one who’s there for him as he is for you and you will go through your battles together in each others arms. for knb, i ship you with Takao!! (i fukn love him lmao) because i feel like he’s piss you off sometimes by being cocky but he’ll find away to make you laugh, and even when things get bad, despite his asshole cheekiness, he’s there for you!!

LILO: man lets see, i think i’d ship you with ennoshita? since i feel like you’ll show him what it means to be treated right, and you will control his sassiness when it gets out of hand because lord know chikara is able to slice anyone with his burns. for knb i’d say kuroko? idk man i think he’d genuinely be interested in you as a person and i feel like you would’ve made a big effect on him by doing or saying somthing that means a lot to him.

ye thats all, thank -akaashi

HEY HEY HEY Now its my turn and since i want to i will also match the other mods with khr and assassination classroom

Sooooooooooo

CHIMI: For haikyuu i can only say the same as AKAASHI, You and Koyko would be a really great pair. And Tanaka and Noya would die in a corner because of so much beauty on one place. For KNB I would say Riko because both of you are strong woman and have do deal with a bunch of kids. BNHA hmmmmm, that was had because it is a long time ago since i read the manga but i think you would really get along with Torodoki, i don’t know why but i lowkey ship you both. AS I think Karasuma is a good match for you, at first i thought maybe Bitch-Sensei but nah he is better. And one thing you know this Badass of a man would love you belive me. And for the last in KHR i ship you with Fon (i know that you don’t know him so if you google him don’t be shocked  just ask :P) hes is a real calm character and you two would get super along.

MIRIAM: Haikyuu and Iwa-chan do i need more to say, when is the wedding and can i make the decoration for the party? KNB I would say Kasamatsu because he is like the KNB Iwa-chan. To be honest they a really similar. Ok another hard BNHA but i think Uraraka would be a great match. Both of you are really cute and sweet and aaaaaaaaaaa i high-key ship you both ok. Isogai for AS with his kind and honest personality he would be a good match for you. And the last match for you is from KHR and i would say that i ship you with Dino. This Italian Mafia Boss would adore you and carry you with his hands when he’s not lying on the ground because he’s a clumsy handsome shit.

AKAASHI: For Haikyuu I say you and Kenma fit together, especially after i read the latest HQ chapter, you would make a great couple. KNB was really easy there i ship you with Kiyoshi, he is sweet and caring and i think he would take good care of you. BNHA was had, really hard serious i need really to reread this shit. But i ship you with Denki. I think you two fit together. AS was easy i ship you with Nagisa, both of you are the definition of look harmless but truthly you are badass. Beware world this two will take over you with their cuteness. And the last but not least KHR. I ship you with the rain Guardian of the vongola 10th generation. Yamamoto is a cute airhead with a golden hearth and would love you with every inch of his body.

SOOOO i hope you like it — mod nana

Okay haha my turn!!! First i am sorry to dissapoint y’all (totally not from south usa - i just like to say it lol) but i only can do matchups for haikyuu!!, i haven’t seen the other anime mentioned, I KNOW!! But as extra i do everyones favorite abs swimming anime.

CHIMI: I matched you before and i stand by it, you and Bokuto man!! That would be an explosive and wonderfull thing. I mean he would love you will all his heart and hold you in his beefy arms it would be awesome. I mean it is very possible that you two die doing some serious dumb shit, but hey if thats not worth it, you don’t deserve to have him lol (and i know you do!!!). For Free!: that will possibly be a surprise for you (and maybe you have to google the name ahah i sure did) Seijuro Mikoshiba. You two would be peferect for eachother, i mean he is funny and goofy but still is very serious about sports and his team and i think thats really you.

AKAASHI: you need someone who is strong, loyal and sweet at the same time. Someone who tells you that you are beautiful and sweet everyday of your life. I have the feeling that Akaashi would be a great pick for you. I all seriousness, i dont only pick him because i know he is your fav. I think he is a kinda serious character who will take your problems and moods very seriously and will comfort you in the most amzing way. He may seem reserved some times but he gives the best hugs and will wisper in your ears from time to time how beautiful you are. Free!: Okay okay i think i ship you with Gou, i mean she is very devotedly and cares much about others. She would make you nice meals and you two would sit together talking sports and literaly everything you come up with.

NANA: okay i told you that before and my opinion on that has not changed. I love to see you with Tanaka, you two would be perfect for eachother. He is supportive and will always be by your side. Also he will pick you up when you are sad or angry and will make you laugh again. I think you two would rock! Free!: There is just on answer to that and not just because i know you like him - Rin Matsuoka. I mean he is hard from the outside but deeply cares about people he loves. So yeah he would make you little gifts from time to time and just hiding them in the appartment waiting for you to find them and when you scream up in joy he stands behind you gently kissing you on the head. I mean YES!! i can see it.

I hope that was’nt to cheezy, well you know me haha i am a fluff ball haha and also THANK YOU for that awesome question i really, really loved doing this!!!! - mod Miriam

[charmainedoble-blog]

Dear ElNella and BenLie,

Dear ElNella and BenLie, Hi. I'm a JuliElmo fan. I hope this letter finds you well. You probably don't know why I'm writing. If you have a clue, congratulations. So, there are things I wanted you all to know. There are 3 things. First, sana wag kayong magalit. Second, sana wag kayong magalit. And third, sana wag kayong magalit. I'm not here to defend anyone. You're reading me because I feel like it. I think, this is what is right. I'm clueless sa mga issue/s. Hanggang sa isang araw may nagsabi sa akin, or, may nabasa ako. Medyo hindi na din kase maganda sa feeling na lagi na lang kame yung may kasalanan. Laging kame yung masama. Kasalanan ba yung pagkapit namin sa idea na magkakaron ulit ng JuliElmo? May rule or law na ba kaming na-break? Sana, let's be more considerate sa feelings ng isa't-isa. I'm asking everyone to be more sensitive for us. Alam ko ang bias. Pero kase, hindi ba nakakaawa na yung pagiging tanga namin sa kakahintay at kakahiling na bumalik silang dalawa? Kahit nga sana isang collab lang masaya na kame eh. Yung collaboration nila. Pangako nila yan sa amin eh. After years and years of waiting, eto kame, still waiting. Wait pa more. Nakakahiya kase na naka-iPhone ka tapos yung laman ng music mo is a converted youtube video na may sigawan at palakpakan pa sa backround. Di ba naman? Nakakaawa. Sana wag niyong masamain yung mga KKTP namin. Ibig sabihin niyan, Kanya-Kanyang-Tupad-ng-Pangarap. Are you that cruel para sa happiness ng faney heart namin? Pati nga fanfiction, pinapakialaman na eh. Fiction nga eh. Paki-check po yung meaning sa google or sa dictionary. O siya, ako na nga. fic-tion (n) : written stories about people and events thatare not real : literature that tells stories which are imagined by the writer : something that is not true Pahugot naman ng kilig kahit sa fanfiction lang, please? We've been with Elmo and Julie since day one. Kaya sana alam niyo rin na isa kame dun sa mga unang nasasaktan kapag may bashers sila. Don't get us wrong, please. Wag niyo kaming i-misunderstood. We are their fans - as JuliElmo, or as Julie, or as Elmo. Basta solo lang. We are not their haters or bashers - sobrang hindi talaga. pro-mo (n) : something (such as an announcement, a brieffilm, or an appearance) that is used to advertiseor promote something (such as a new book or movie) I know, that was overboard. And, we're sorry. Pero kase, there are reason/s behind it. Mga 13. Charot. Sa life di ba if may nangyari na hindi mo inasahan, you are to blame someone. That is a human nature. Sa pagiging fangirl, yung pagiging indenial naman ang nature natin. 'Hindi naman totoo yang BenLie.' 'Hindi naman totoo yang ElNella.' Tulad ng hindi pagiging totoo ng JanElmo, DenLie, KrisLie atbp. Tapos, magfo-formulate na ng kung anu-anong possible na dahilan. I mean, kapag may ganap between Julie and Ben or Elmo and Janella, hahanap at hahanap din talaga ang JuliElmoes ng dahilan para maikabit yung ganap na yun kay Julie and Elmo. Para sa pinagkait na kaligayahan sa JuliElmo faney heart. It was not with our intention na i-bash yung hinahangaan namin for long period of time. It was a no-no. Hello naman. Gumastos at nag-effort kame para sa taong yan. Para ano? Para lang i-bash. Hello! Pakitatak yun sa mga puso at isip niyo. Sabay bigkas ng panatang maka-faney. Charot. Nung hindi pa marunong makihalubilo si Elmo sa fans, kasama na niya kame. When his album was just a dream, kase sobrang busy niya, kasama na niya kame. Nung na-stuck siya sa loveteam nila ni Janine, sumama pa rin kame. When he chose to be a Kapamilya, sumama ulit kame. And ngayon na todo-bigay siya sa kung anong meron sila ni Janella, sumama pa rin naman kame di ba? Sana wag kayong agad-agad nagagalit samin. May mga usapan kame, na, kame-kame lang din nagkakaintindihan. Paki-respect yun. Again, sorry. Pero sana, kapag usapan ng JuliElmoes - JuliElmoes na lang, kapag usapan ng ElNellas, kayo-kayo na lang. Pare-pareho naman tayo eh. Mahal nating lahat si Elmo. Oo nga pala, I hope you guys will stop using the word 'mangga' kapag gusto niyong banggitin si Julie sa usapan niyo, or sa tweets niyo. Walang magdedeny, kase, ako mismo yung nakabasa. Charot ka kung sino ka man. Hindi naman sa nakiki-alam. Respeto naman. I like Janella. Lalo na nung ang arte-arte niya. Nung anak siya ni Sir Chief. I tried to appreciate her - when she and Elmo became the newest thing ng Abs-Cbn. Baka pwedeng i-appreciate niyo din si Julie. Baka pwedeng i-stop niyo yung hindi magandang tawag niyo sakanya? Baka pwede lang naman, bes. Kase, what is not to appreciate sa taong yun? Multi-media artist. She can amaze you with a song. She can be a swagger in just a second when she raps. She can make you cry when she act. She's a comedian too. She even write a song. Oha! Pwede na bang 13 Reasons Why I Love MyJaps. Ganern? Charot. O sige, if you don't find it in your heart to appreciate her - respect her na lang as a person. Well, ang hindi ko lang ma-appreciate kay Julie is yung pamba-block niya sa iba and yung boyfriend niya. Wahahahahahahahaha. Tawa ka, please. Tawa ka. Tawa ka sabi eh. Excuse my language. Pero, putangina nung jowa nun. Binlock ako. Hoy. First time ko pa lang dadalawin yung profile niya nun nung malaman ko. Never ko din naman siyang tinuweet. Ang pangit niya eh. Nakakabwiset talagaga yung mukha. Siraulong baklang yun. Hahahahahahahaha. Taragis talaga. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko kayang tanggapin si Ben. Pero, kung totoong masaya naman si Julie, edi sige. People, stop using "Bakit hindi kayo masaya para kay Julie?" Kase, ang totoong nagpapasaya sa amin ay ang JuliElmo. Hindi ba pwedeng sa part na 'to unahin muna natin yung feelings natin bilang fans? Let's be selfish. Kahit sa part lang na 'to. Julie is happy, but, I'm not. Edi balance. Pwede na yon. Anyways, goodvibes dapat 'to eh. To my JuliElmoes, Can we not include Ben to our conversations anymore? Kase, nakakabadvibes. Ay. Sorry. Okay sige, aayusin ko na. Hahahahahahahaha. To the JuliElmoes, Hello. Thank you for dragging yourself to stay. It was never easy. Pero, you stayed. I know, there are millions of reason why nasasaktan tayo. I'm happy na kahit dalawa lang yung reasons natin, we still choose to stay. Our reasons - Julie and Elmo. Okay lang yan kahit paulit-ulit na yung pictures and videos natin. Okay lang yan kahit hindi HD yung copies. Okay lang yan kahit parang malabo pa talaga na maibalik yung dati. Sobrang okay lang hangga't alam ko at nafi-feel kong may kasama pa ako hanggang sa finals. Iba pa din kase talaga kapag silang dalawa no? Yes, hindi naging boyfriend ni Julie si Elmo but there is this something sakanilang dalawa na special. Yes, hindi nakasama ni Elmo yung pamilya ni Julie but I know how much they respect him and vice-versa. Parang okay na muna yun for now para kumapit no? To Julie and Elmo, Panagutan niyo naman kame oh. Seven years na tayo. Umaasa at naghihintay pa rin kame. Three years tayong masaya. Kaso, 4 years naman na tayong nganga. Balik kayo, kahit isang kanta lang muna. To ElNellas, BenLies and JuliElmoes, Let's all be happy in every way we can. But, as much as possible, respect each other. Isa lang ang gusto natin - ang suportahan sila. Sina Julie at Elmo. This maybe is part of #roadtosevenfangirlyears. Yours and truly, Perfect JE faney

[swanandapirate]

A Gift (Card) for Someone Special. Chapter 13 At Last

Summary:  Killian owns the local coffeehouse “A Cup of Jones” and business is going well. A blonde woman sets foot in his establishment and she fascinates him. Will he figure her out or is that to hard to do?

ff.net / Start from the beginning

A/N: I definitely chose this title (borrowed from an Etta James song) because it’s probably going to be your reaction. At last, a new chapter. You have the wonderful hub ladies to thank for implementing a deadline because I am quite the procrastinator. This is the last chapter, the epilogue, so I hope you enjoy <3

"Morning, boss." Killian can only see her reddish hair behind the computer, but once Aurora peers over the screen, he can see her blue eyes as well. They twinkle with kindness and that happiness Aurora always carries with her, that joy that only has multiplied in the last couple of months.

"Morning, Aurora." Killian smiles back. "How's the paperwork going?"

"Good! Thanks again for letting me do this. My ugly, swollen balloon feet were killing me in the café, but I was so bored doing nothing at home."

Killian pours himself a cup of warm coffee and approaches the desk.

"Hey, anything that can alleviate me from doing paperwork, I like." He lifts himself and settles on a patch of empty space on the desk. Hesitantly, he brings his lips to the rim of the mug, testing out the temperature of the coffee before taking a real sip. Aurora spins on the chair to face him. "Have you seen Tink today?"

Aurora nods. "She stopped by an hour ago. Anna has been doing great, a real natural according to her, so if it's alright with you, Tink would like to hire her permanently and full time. She stopped by to inform me and she's probably bringing Anna here tonight to show her what our official office looks like."

"Oh, that's superb. I'll discuss it with the both of them when they visit here. I'm still not used to having an official office, to be honest," he says, softly shaking his head in disbelief.

It was incredible how great business has been going recently. The door of the coffee house never stopped moving, constantly opening and closing and letting in a flux of colorful and varied people; young, old, regular visitors, new faces, tourists, locals. Their budget now allows them to rent a small office space. To think that he had considered giving up multiple times, been on the verge of just closing the cafe and returning to the UK as the failure he felt was. It's a bloody good thing he didn't.

"You deserve it, Killian." Aurora squeezes his knee. "You have worked really hard the last few years and this your reward."

"This is our reward," he corrects her, "I couldn't have done it without the both of you."

Trying to muffle the nerves that suddenly arise with the thought of his next subject, Killian fiddles with the rings decorating his fingers. "I've been thinking…" he begins but lets his sentence die.

"About?" Aurora encourages him to continue, wearing a soft and friendly smile on her lips.

"Opening another coffeehouse."

"Really?" Aurora's mouth opens and she widens her eyes in surprise.

"Yes," he affirms, his voice a bit more certain. "It would take a lot of money and work and a lot of people, but I think we would manage."

"If there's anyone I know who can manage something, it's you. What does Emma think about it?" Aurora inquires.

Emma had been the first person he had spoken to. Telling her had even been the first time he had dared to pronounce his idea out loud. The night had fallen and was filled with very pleasurable activities. In the aftermath, in the dark and quietness they needed to fall asleep, he had softly asked if she had fallen asleep yet, which she hadn't. Why he could only tell her then, Killian didn't quite understand. Maybe the nervousness or the importance of her opinion. There was always a chance- very improbable but it existed -that Emma would tell him that he was crazy to want that, that he was being unrealistic, that she would laugh. Of course, she didn't really; his fears were very far from what actually happened.

"She's very enthusiastic," Kilian replies, keeping Emma's reaction in mind. "She has even proposed to cut back on her work hours and help out."

"So 'A Cup of Jones II' is coming?"

"Aye, there were two Jones brothers, so it only seems fit to have two establishments."

His brother was so involved in the café; he helped Killian pay, sent him words of encouragement from the other side of the ocean. Without Liam, his dream could have never become reality. This is the right to do. One final way to pay tribute to his brother, his hero. 'A Cup of Jones II" in honor of a great man.

He is freezing; his cheeks are red, his hands are cold, his hair is wet. It's like he shouldn't even have bothered to wear the scarf around his neck, the beanie on his head and gloves on his hands. Never will Killian understand the allure of winter.

"Damn you, winter weather," he says, entering the apartment and setting the box in his arms down. His, now empty, hands remove all of the ineffective protection against the season.

"Technically, it's still fall."

Emma walks towards him after correcting him. She is dressed in a comfy sweater and a pair of jeans. The radiance that lingers around her, that brightens the room, overwhelms him like tidal waves relentlessly hitting the breakwaters. It instantly makes him forget why he was complaining, blurring all of his frustration and loathing towards his least favorite time of the year.

"It feels like winter which is enough reason to hate it." Killian toes his shoes off and sets them on the rack. With the socks on his feet, he slides over their wooden floor, approaching Emma, before greeting her with a quick but sweet peck on her lips.

"Hey," Emma protests, causing Killian's brow to contract in surprise. "We met in the fall-winter," she continues, immediately smothering that inkling of fear burrowed inside of him.

Emma is right; their one year anniversaries are coming up (their first meeting in just under a week, their first date a bit later.) How is that not even a year ago? Time is a strange thing; passing with the blink of an eye, but somehow taking an eternity to do so. Not that he would complain, an eternity with this life, in this company is one he would gladly spend over and over.

"I'm aware of that, Swan." He cradles her warm hands in his cold ones and places a kiss on her knuckles. "But that still doesn't squelch my abhorrence of the season."

"Well, I love the cold because it means you can make me hot chocolates twenty-four/seven. Especially now that you are officially moving in." Her lips curl.

To hear her say those words still sends a jolt of happiness through his body, as if he had just taken a liquid, physical shot of oxytocin and dopamine and they were now pulsing through his veins. They were going to live together.

To be honest, he was already spending ninety-nine percent of his time with Henry and Emma. His apartment lacked that homey feel, that sense of relief and freedom when you entered after a long, tiring day; Emma's, however, had that, evoked exactly that sentiment. But Killian still kept his flat, only going there to occasionally grab some clothes or to simply prevent the place from withering away under the dust.

One day, after Killian left to and returned from his apartment in the early morning, not long after dawn because he needed some paperwork, they both concluded that what they were doing was idiotic. They were practically already living together. Why should he keep his apartment and pay rent for a place he sets foot in maybe once every two weeks? Why wouldn't they just take that jump they had already taken weeks ago? They didn't need more to seal the deal.

"As you can see, I've brought my first official moving box with my most prized possessions." With a quick gesture, he motions to the brown square. "The rest I left in the car."

Emma raises a questioning eyebrow, the movement full of curiosity and looks back and forth between his face and the box.

"What do you consider your most prized possessions?" she inquires.

"If you want to know, check the box."

"I will," Emma says in that determined way her words always seem to carry.

It's one of the reasons he loves her so much.

She steps closer to it and crouches down. Swiftly, her hands open one flap and then lift the other one. Killian sees her rummaging through the contents and sees the emotions flash across her face. There's respect and a sad smile when she picks up the picture of his mother and the one with Liam and him. And there's happiness when she uncovers a picture of her and Henry, one that had been recently added to his collection but was as important to him as the rest. The biggest item in the box, however, safely and cautiously wrapped in bubble wrap, is his coffeemaker.

"I should have known." Emma's curls dance as she shakes her head. "What's the big deal with this thing anyway?" she questions. Stretching her legs again, Emma turns to him, the machine still in her hands.

"Swan, would you leave Fasóli alone." He softly pries the coffeemaker out of her hands.

"You gave your coffeemaker a name? And it's Fasóli?" Her voice is a pitch higher, a pitch of incredulity, as if she truly couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"It's Greek." His statement is followed by a nonchalant shrug.

"Really?" Her eyebrows shoot up. "You speak Greek?"

He doesn't really; his bilingualism is limited to English and a handful of Spanish he learned during that gap year he spent on working on Ibiza. But he couldn't find a fitting Spanish name and he had thought of nothing better than just to insert the world bean in Google Translate and to pick the best sounding one.

"You'd be surprised what the true power of Google translate is." Killian grins.

His little joke earns a roll of her eyes as response, but he can discern her effort not to laugh along.

"Should I be offended that you are calling her Greek names you have never called me?" Emma says, taking part in the game he started.

"Swan, I think my love suffices. I love you and all that, but this is my coffee maker. My true love."

"Why are you moving in again?" she asks dubiously, but the smile on her face never even lets the doubt come close. "Because you-" her finger presses down on the skin of his chest and then seductively trails down. "-are so sleeping on the couch tonight." Emma unexpectedly takes a step back and Killian needs to blink before her seducing spell is gone. "You can even bring your true love with you."

He chases her, to be closer, to feel her warmth again, because he's that desperate, and his hands manage to catch and stop her from widening the space between them because she doesn't even try to run.

The green of her eyes shimmers with mischief and amusement as he caresses the soft skin of her cheeks, framing her face. With an observant gaze, Killian continues the light touches, brushing her hair behind her ears, smoothing the little laughing lines by her eyes, the pad of his thumb skimming over her lips, causing them to part ever so slightly. The sparkles in her eyes turn into a low burning fire, the gold accents flaming.

"Please," he says before placing his lips on her forehead. "Don't." A kiss on the apple of her cheek. "Make me." And as the finishing touch, he merges their lips.

Emma continues to resist, attempts to keep her willpower strong, but somewhere along the line, she caves (it's after Killian's fingers slide under her sweater and start to draw large circles on her hip). A giggle escapes out of her, the sound vibrant against Killian's lips.

"I love you," Killian says when they sever the connection, making sure that the rest of their bodies are still glued together.

"I love you too," she whispers -or sighs- and she curls her arms even tighter around his neck, ready to resume what they had momentarily put on hold for their umpteenth declaration of love and adoration.

"And I love you too-," another voice interrupts, prompting Emma and Killian startle and to instantly release each other. "-but can we please start this move? Because at this pace, we'll still be unpacking when Christmas comes around." Henry stands with his arms crossed.

"Sorry, Henry," they reply simultaneously, with shame in their voices and a red hue on their cheeks that had nothing to do with the outside cold.

"Reprimanded by my own son," Emma chuckles, noting the reversed roles of the scene.

"Talking about Christmas," Killian says, Henry's words reminding him of something he spent the last couple of days pondering on. "I was thinking we could invite Hazel over. It's going to be her first Christmas without Liam."

It's his first Christmas with the knowledge that his brother is no longer here as well, but at least he has his other true love left, has her and Henry to spend this time of joy with and fill the void. Hazel doesn't.

"That's a great idea," she reacts enthusiastically. "I'm still sad I couldn't get time off work and Henry had school when you went to visit her the last time."

"If she agrees to come in a couple of weeks, you'll all get to meet one another. She can see the café and the States in general during Christmas time."

"And you can tell her about the expansion," Emma adds as she walks back to the forgotten box on the floor.

"I can,' he agrees, following her movements with a piqued interest.

Her hands remove the frames from the box with care before her eyes scan their living room. The sound of her soft hum, the one she always makes when she is thinking, reaches Killian's ears. Her socked feet walk around, stopping before the wall that bears different pictures of her, of different stages of her life. She reaches out, standing on her tiptoes, to take one of them off and hangs Liam there instead. His mother gets a place on a cabinet, a spot where she can smile her beautiful smile at him every day. She finishes by unwrapping his coffeemaker and setting it on the kitchen counter.

A look of pleasantness settles on her face, shapes her lips into a smile as she studies her small changes that seemed all but small to Killian. Their gazes meet and she nods proudly.

Bloody hell, this woman.

"Thank you, Emma."

The words cross his mind often, they did not too long ago, but every now and then, he has to say it out loud. To transmit every feeling of gratitude and love, of respect and acceptance that drenches his bones and fills his heart.

"For what?" She lightly furrows her brow while tilting her head.

"Loving me." His shoulders go up in a slight shrug.

"Oh," she utters, the understanding hitting her. "Well, my pleasure then. It is one of my favorite things to do."

Henry, the teenager that he is, makes a sound akin a grunt, something to remind them of his presence and his distaste of seeing another make-out session.

Emma lights up the room with her laugh and Killian can't help but join her. She rubs over her forehead. "Now, I believe we have some unpacking to do," she says to the contentment of her son, who looks visibly relieved;

Killian grins. "That we do, my love. That we do."

And there we go. The end! Quite emotional to end it, because this was the first multi-chapter fic that I ever started writing and I still remember coming up with the idea for my writing week. Even though finishing this story has taken me way (way, way) longer than I originally planned, I am very happy with how it turned out. Thank you to everyone who has read, followed or reviewed, it has meant more to me that you probably realized while clicking on the button. Au revoir! <3

(If you'd like to read other stories that I write, be sure to check out Blue Petals & Broken Glass, A Bitter Sweet Memory and my collection of prompts somehow they just keep falling in love)

[dear-happypills]

Dead Poets Therapy – Transcript

MDMA Addict : Eww… I hate writing.

All: *Commotion breaks between groups.

Moderator: Alright guys. Alright – it was just a suggestion. This past weekend I watched the Dead Poets Society and… Well I got inspired.

Alcoholic #1: Oh yea that’s a great film.

Moderator: I know right?

Alcoholic #1: NO! Fuck you XXXXX (Moderator). You always getting off at fucking documentaries.

Crack Addict #1: Wait, wait guys. As much as I hate XXXXX (Moderator), I have to agree with her (Moderator); Dead Poets Society was a down right great movie.

MDMA Addict: Oh my god. It’s the attack of the nerds.

Porn Addict: *flips (MDMA Addict #1) off

MDMA Addict: Hey! What the fu…

Sex Addict: [Interrupts] Whoah. Whoah bro. Not cool bro. Pull that finger down before the angels pull a shark attack on that finger…

Moderator: [Interrupts] Ok Okay…

Sex Addict: [Ignores Moderator] … and just sends it to the stars yo – just way out…

Moderator: [Interrupts] … we really should get back on trac…

Sex Addict: and just, you know, gets reborn like a phoeni…

MDMA Addict: Oh my god… Like seriously, shut the fuck up.

Porn Addict: [To MDMA Addict]You… you bitch. [To everyone] She bitch. She always make fun of me.

MDMA Addict: What the… hell is your problem. I wasn’t even talking to you...

Porn Addict: Yes, you think I nerd. You, bitch.

Moderator: Okay XXX (Porn Addict), XXX (Porn Addict) listen to me. She wasn’t talking about you, but she was not also being careful with her word choice ei…

Porn Addict: Puk you XXXXX (Moderator). Noone here like you. Noone want you motor riding  sessions. Everyone hate you.

Alcoholic #2: * Raises hand

Crack Addict #2: What bitch!?

Alcoholic #2: Um.. I just. I just wanted to um… clarify to XXXXX (Moderator) that I don’t think I exactly belong to those last two parts of XXX’s (Porn Addict’s) statement about hating you and you motor riding these sessions.  But, you know I don’t exactly like you. Doesn’t mean I hate you. I’m just, kind of confused on what’s going on honestly.

Alcoholic #1: *First quietly, then louder. Hahahaha motor riding… hahaha

All: *Laughs.

Porn Addict: *Confused at first. But joins laughing with everyone slowly, not entirely sure of what is going on; notices that the joke is toward XXXXX (Moderator) and feels more confident to join in.

Moderator: OKAY! Okay. This writing idea – a huge mistake. I apologize. Sincerely, I do. Now…

Alcoholic #1: Wait, like… what would be write about anyways?

Moderator: Well – it could be about anything.

Sex Addict: Yea, I’m down. I know what I’m going to be writing about. *Eyes MDMA Addict

MDMA Addict: Oh my god. You’re such a tease [*Slightly smiles]. But I still hate writi…

Crack Addict #2: Stop fucking bitching you cunt.

Moderator: XXXX [Crack Addict #2]! NOT IN HERE!

All: * Brief silence

Crack Addict #2: Aight, whateva man. This whole shit is bull shit anyways. Niggas all fucking retarded.

Moderator: Thank you XXXX [Crack Addict #2]. [To everyone] Well guys. Let’s write about what our “improvement” looks like in our lives. And write about how and what we can do to make that happen. We can be creative.

Alcohol #1: Eh… I’m sorry I brought this up.

Crack Addict #1: Yea that’s boring. Something else.

Moderator: Okay, then how about something that we are passionate about.

Sex Addict: Aw man. Yo – I know exactly, what to write about. I am just… so passionate about fucking chicks yo. Just – so passi…

Moderator: [Interrupts] That’s enough XXXX…

Sex Addict: [Ignores]…onate. I mean – what can I say, I love to fuck chi…

All: *Urges XXXXXXX (Sex Addict) to shut up

Moderator: Well, XXXXXX (Sex Addict), I understand what you are saying but…

Sex Addict: [Interrupts] Ah right. Sorry XXXXX (Moderator). [To everyone] Yo, and sorry all of you. Poor word choice, am I right? So as I was saying, I just absolutely love to “slam” chicks.

All: *Rolls their eyes. A few say comments like “Holy shit…”, “Seriously…?”. “Hahaha…”

MDMA Addict: I can write about my cats?

Porn Addict: Yea, you can -- about your pussy cats.

All: *Laughs. Even XXXX (MDMA Addict) laughs.

Crack Addict #2: [Chuckling] Shitt man. That was da best English you said till now. Heard no asian accent there.

All: * Laughs.

Alcoholic #2: *Raises hand

Moderator: Yes, XXXXX (Alcoholic #2).

Alcoholic #2: Why not… just… write… Yea – just write – as simple as that. Fuck writing about something. Look at us. Half of us are forced in here probably because we hated being forced to write bunch of shit we didn’t get in school. And I don’t mean ‘get’ in the way that we didn’t understand what we were taught. But just that we didn’t get why we were learning stupid shit, from stupid teachers. We’d be told to listen to teachers talk about their lives and less about math, we’d be handed a paper that excused us to go take a shit, and we’d be given writing assignments about what “they” wanted to read, and not what we thought. Why can’t we just write our voices down? And as we do, I’m pretty sure we’ll write about our, quote on fucking quote, passions. But,… also about our brokenness… I mean, look at us. XXXXXX (Sex Addict) and XXXX (MDMA Addict) are going to have sex after this sessions ends. Why don’t you write about that bro [to Sex Addict]... But just be honest,… write about how shitty you feel afterwards. I see you outside your car after you two have sex in your car, and when she (MDMA Addict) leaves, you… you just stand there smoking, sighing, and sometimes even crying, hitting your head. I mean shit… What’s up with that?

MDMA Addict: *Cries and intently looks at XXXXXXX (Sex Addict) with sympathy

Sex Addict: *Fights tears

Moderator: I think XX…

Alcoholic #2: And you (Moderator). Why are you so concerned with achieving social conventions in here? Look at us... We all have addictions and everyday we come here as fucking rejects. We don’t have people to turn to, because we are viewed a certain way, when all we might’ve needed was genuine understanding and care. Maybe… we all, needed someone or something to be honest... Because to us, “normal”, is fucking insane. And people who say what “normal is”, condemn us to be fixed, corrected, or rehabilitated in this shit hole. AND THEN you [To Moderator] want us to write about things, that got us in here in the first place?! Like. How the hell does that work?

Crack Addict #2: Mmmhmm. Nigga be spitting words.

Alcoholic #2: A moment ago you called me a “bitch”.

Crack Addict #2: Man you be trippin. Just din’t know my nigga well enough.

All: *Laughs

Alcoholic #2: Yea well, other than XXXXXX (Sex Addict) and XXXX (MDMA Addict) having sex, we really don’t know each other too well. 

Sex Addict: *Wipes tears. Hehe – ay oh. * High five motion to XXXX (MDMA Addict)

MDMA Addict: *Motions back with a high five. Woot – did it. *Smiles

All: *Laughs

Alcholic #2: I mean, did anyone know that XXX (Porn Addict) works at Google. To be frankly honest, I think he’s the only one who has a real job here.

Porn Addict: *Points to himself and says: Engineer

Moderator: *Raises hand. I have a real job here.

All: *Laughs. Laughs harder than usual. Keeps laughing.

Crack Addict #1: *Wipes tears from laughing. Oh wow – best sessions today. I like you, you [to Alcoholic #2], … [*turns to Alcohol #1 and whispers] what was he again?

Alcoholic #1: An alcoholic.

Crack Addict #1: I thought you were the alcoholic.

Alcoholic #1: *Shrugs her shoulders.

Moderator: Anyways. Yes. Thank you for sharing XXXXX (Alcoholic #2). As XXXXX (Alcoholic #2) said, why don’t we just… write. Write your voices down and let’s share what we have for next session? And… I apologize to everyone. I know that at times I can come here with a lens that often feels like – no, that’s an excuse – a lens that often is condescending. I’m sorry. I just… want to get to know everyone, as everyone here gets to know one another as well. And, the pains we have. Let’s lighten each other burdens and grow in l…

Alcoholic #2: *As Moderator is talking, he pulls out a bottle of beer from his backpack. He pops open the bottle on the table.

All: * Silently stares at XXXXX (Alcoholic #2)

Alcoholic #2: *Hold out his bottle raising a toast. … grow in love. Cheers. *Takes a gulp.

Moderator: What the fu… 

END TRANSCRIPT.

- happypills

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Sacred Beasts 2 | Astra 2 - 3 | Given 1 - 2 | DanMachi II 1 | Demon Slayer 15 - 16 | Dr Stone 2 | Fruits Basket 14 | Cop Craft 2 - 3

Rolling out the tags soon.

Sacred Beasts 2

“Sissy” always pissed me off as a nickname for your sister. It’s clearly meant as a term of endearment in some cases, but it also is the equivalent of “wuss”, y’know???

I’ve seen mushroom soup out of a tin…that don’t look like mushroom soup in that case.

Uh, random question…she has th same surname as Will, but is Schaal herself adopted???

Y’should’ve followed Hank, Nancy…(is her name Nancy or Schaal? Schaal is her middle name, yet she seems more commonly referred to as Schaal…hmm.)

*sees synopsis* - No one mentioned Nancy’s hometown was called Livletwood Village…

I pause my shows a lot to get down these notes…then Crunchyroll or my internet (or both!) cursed me with regular buffering (that can sometimes play video and subs through it, but generally sets down a few seconds after unpausing and lasts for a minute) and made it a pain in the butt to make these notes. But you do realise I basically have notes for almost every show I’ve ever watched under this system? These notes are special to me, which is why I put up with the buffering. It also means impactful scenes lose their impact, meaning well-paced shows get favoured in my picking process on CR these days.

Astra 2

Yup, the 2nd time we talk about how to scavenge for food this season – gotta remember this…in case I ever get into a situation like that. You never know! (creates “The More You Know” star with hands)

I-awwwwwww…I never thought I’d see the day where the Luca Javelin would get animated, much less Astra as a series. Dang, is this a dream???

Eyyyyy. Nothing like endangering your little sister to really understand why you love her…much less understand that you love her in the first place. (partially sarcastic)

Given 1

This is my second rodeo with BL anime (I’ve only read one BL manga and it was pretty darn mediocre, but the one BL game I tried was okay)…hopefully it’s good.

Was there the ticking of a clock in the background???

…and cut to OP. Yay! I can predict when the OP happens now…(It only took me years of training…okay, I’m kidding.)

I think this OP is like a music video…and I think that’s the point.

Kaji??? Is this Eva (LOL)?

I’m no band person – I was merely a solo pianist in my time with music, although notably I did have to sing for one of the musical pieces – but “Thom Yorke” and “Keith Richards” sound familiar. Why???...Okay, so it seems Thom Yorke is part of Radiohead and Keith Richards is part of the Rolling Stones. I’m familiar with those bands by name, at least.

Lemme guess…this guy (Ritsuka) sucks at improv.

I had to go back and find out what Yayoi said a few lines ago…and  love her already because she’s like “You suck”…she’s just like me, to be honest.

Early husbando predictions say Haruki is my dude of the season.

Seeing manly dudes act like blushing schoolgirls is great…!

Yushiro-who???...Okay, Yushiro Ishihara is apparently that’s a singer that’s already passed away, but has a bit of a rep behind him.

Is it just me, or is Ritsuka basically a lesser Bakugo…?

Come to think of it, it would be hard for me to teach someone piano now that I haven’t properly played since the end of 2014…almost 5 years. Geesh, that’s a long time.

Welp, that was…actually pretty good. The only thing that sucks is that this ED isn’t rock, to go with the rest of the show.

DanMachi II 1

Another counterintuitive name for a sequel anime season…this is my last premiere before I wrap them up, or at least until Machikado Mazoku (or whatever) land on CR.

…and of course, it’s back to Big Boobies (aka Hestia). She’s probably the worst part of the show for me.

Why does Bell need an advisor anyway…? I never thought about it when watching s1.

Who’s this Naza-sama, anyway…?...Okay, it seems she’s a doctor from the Miach Familia. I don’t remember her from s1, really.

I’ve forgotten who Asfi is as well…Oh yeah, that blue-haired woman from the Hermes Famlia. Hermes seems like a bit of a loose cannon – the sort who wouldn’t have a Familia if given the chance – though.

I think we saw Freya in s1…just scheming behind the scenes…

Hermes looks like a sleazebag half the time he’s on screen…

I forgot how much I loved Miach’s character design in s1...and to a lesser extent, Takemikazuchi.

Demon Slayer 15

…Zenitsu is annoying again.

I didn’t think Tanjiro was scared of anything…excpt maybe losing Nezuko again.

Oh! I just realised Natagumo has a hint in its name…The “gumo” can be read “kumo”…as in cloud or spider, but it’s given with the kanji for spider so it can only be a spider-related problem on Mt Natagumo.

I’d hate to have Smellovision on this show…(What’s Smellovision, you ask??? Here, read up on it…at least, I was thinking of the Google variant, so read up on the Google version.)

Ukogi appears to be a type of plant known as eleutherococcus and ukogi rice is rice with ukogi leaves.

Dr Stone 2

Episode 3’s title is like “Weapons…of SCIENCE! *cue Bill Nye the Science Guy theme song*”

Ooh, nice angle! (on Senku and petrified!Yuzuriha being protected by Taiju…and not just because Yuzuriha’s butt is showing…)

“You can eat lion?” – No duh, Taiju!

“I want to give thanks to the circle of life…” – Sorry, but can I interrupt with a meme here? *cue ululations that ae meant to imitate the iconic song from The Lion King, y’know, the one that goes “Ahhhhhhh zee bun yah… (etc.)”*

Tsukasa’s frickin’ tall, man! Look at him tower over Taiju and Senku…

Having read the manga before, I just realised Tsukasa is mighty suspicious when he says Senku could be able to rebuild civilisation from scratch. That was harder to recognise in manga format though, I think.

I also didn’t realise, but the shell tale is talking about Tsukasa! Hmm…interesting.

Dr Stone’s ED…never in my life did I think it was going to be a rap song. Unless, of course, it’s a science rap…(There’s hydrogen and helium and lithium, berrylium…uh, I don’t remember the words after that…)

Oh, that next-ep font takes me back…it reminds me of the 90s, where terrible WordArt font like that was everywhere and I had to get by on Lucida Calligraphy.

Fruits Basket 14

Oh, crab meat…these CGI cars look absolutely terrible…

Pay attention to the relationship between Kyo and Kyoko…you people who don’t know about manga!Furuba are in for a real revelation on that front.

Wow, the effects on the flowers are really pretty for the ED…

Cop Craft 2

That OP is just so good…*swoon*

Well…they spelt “Unknown” wrong…on Kei’s phone.

Hmm…I think the insert song was in English.

Astra 3

Oh…something didn’t make sense. It turns out the word the subber is using is “attitude” when it should actually be altitude…

Given 2

Ooh, Haruki does coffee in the OP! I didn’t notice that, since I had to skip it…there’s some kinda suckish buffering on CR, which is why I have to skip as much as I can.

Welp, I’m a pianist. I’m as clueless as any other non-guitar player when it comes to guitars, so I don’t mind the lesson but also don’t need it.

Given this is a BL/yaoi (no pun intended), I think Akihiko and Haruki should pair up…but maybe I’m just going nuts with the shipper glasses here.

“You’re going to have to do something about that soon.”

Aye…I relate, Mafuyu. When you’re younger, you can beg your parents for money, but equipment, books etc. really costs some hard cash. I remember having to go to Hong Kong to find a pearl pink metronome on the cheap…the poor thing isn’t getting much use now. (But still, I think the more I watch and see Haruki in action, the more I like him. Not necessarily as a husbando, but more in the sense of that one cool dude you gravitate towards.)

It randomly cut to Salon Harusame…don’t tell me this is how Haruki gets his money???

I think the comment that said “lolol” actually had 超 in front of it, so that would be “super lololol” or, in my personal way of saying it, “major lololol”.

Oh, so that’s what was in the OP!

I swear Uesama (LOL) should just get a job as a guitar tutor to little kids…well, that would work if he were in college/uni, maybe.

Hey, a girl! Didn’t expect one in a BL work…(LOL, my standards are so low for BL/yaoi, eh?)

Hmm…I get the feeling amateurs get their hands on acoustic models instead. I know a guitar player, y’know (although again, that doesn’t mean I know the first thing about playing a guitar).

I love how the show turned green all of a sudden. The colours match the mood, basically.

Demon Slayer 16  

This episode’s titlecard only has a wave pattern…I probably know what the pattern is called, but I’ve…probably forgotten that name.

Hey, a Demon Slayer girl! (My standards seem to have been lowered in regards to seeing gals in leading or even supporting roles…It’s more acceptable for Demon Slayer, given its historical setting, but still, how sad it is to not see many girls…)

(TW: abuse) Why…for some reason, this feels like an abusive household, specifically where the father does evil things to the mother…but this time, the son’s part of the problem.

I find it funny Zenitsu just calls Inosuke “Wild Boar”. To be fair though, I don’t think Inosuke introduced himself to Zenitsu, way back when they were meant to.

This scene where Zenitsu is crying and has his back turned to the “camera”…they clearly used a CGI model for him.

It’s a BODY! Holy s(BLEEP)!

“Chu-Chu chuuuuun!” Oh my glob, Ukogi is so adorable~!

Hey…where was Ukogi hiding before he chose to come out again?

Another CGI model when Zenitsu walks away from the camera. It’s so dark, nobody can see Ukogi…I don’t think he has a CGI model and that’s good.

I had a weird thought, but…I think Tanjiro would be a good breakdancer, if he were living in 2019.

Inosuke, you did it! But I wonder if those stats are correct and Inosuke’s going to call his name properly at climactic moments…?

Cop Craft 3

Brother Kenny…you’re just lewd.

“…O or V or A.” – Aside from OVAs, hmm…O would be (CENSORED), V I don’t know about and A…I don’t know either, but I guess it’s (CENSORED).

Kei Manoba (sic).

Doreany seems to be humanity…Did they already introduce that? I forget.

This show looks pretty bad, but the story makes the stay worth it.

[hemcountry]

AMERICAN YOUNG - CAPTURING EMOTIONS FROM THE HEAD DOWN TO THE HEART

The very first time I heard their song ‘Love Is War’ (Billy Montana, Kylie Sackley, and Jonathan Singleton) I became a fan of American Young. All it took was those few minutes. In fact, as is always the case with the best songs, it really only took a few seconds. As beautiful songs go, this one is well within the realm of perfection for me. You just want to play it again, and again, and again. Then I heard ‘Be Here’ , actually written by American Young’s Kristy Osmunson and Jon Stone (together with Jennifer Denmark and Tiffany Goss), and it was the same feeling all over again. Just leave me in a room with those two songs on repeat and I’ll be happy for a long time. I had a vague idea who American Young were for some time, because I knew that Kristy had previously been a member of Bomshel, as well as writing one of my favourite Joey & Rory songs, ‘Cheater, Cheater.’ And I’d seen Jon’s name pop up every now and then as a songwriter on tracks like ‘Me And My Gang’ from Rascal Flatts, ‘Seven Days’ by Kenny Chesney, and Lee Brice’s ‘A Woman Like You.’

The album, ‘AY’, from American Young. If you’ve got the emotion, it’s got the song for it.

But let me tell you, finally getting my hands on American Young’s ‘AY’ album proved that there was definitely far more to this duo than just two great songs. Try an album’s worth. If you listen to ‘God Sends A Train’, to Point Of View’, or ‘Eighteen’ (with Lee Brice), or ‘Soldier’s Wife (Don’t Want You To Go), and come back to me with a report that’s anything less than along the lines of ‘Wow’, ‘Stunning’, or ‘Man, that did my heart good!’, then we can’t be friends! I already know ‘AY’ will be a go-to album for me for all kinds of good days and bad days for a long time to come.

Lost in the moment on stage.

Kristy Osmunson

Jon Stone

And after finally having the chance to catch up with Kristy for a chat, I also know that I can’t wait for the next American Young album, and the one after that, too. In other words, the songs on ‘AY’ had already made me a fan of American Young, but Kristy’s passion, energy, and sense of fun, made me a fan for life. Charisma, I think some would call it. And others would say it’s a good soul that has that kind of effect. All I know is that Kristy most certainly has the former, and in my opinion, is certainly the latter, too.

The first question I had was something that I’d been wondering about for a while: where did the name American Young actually come from?

“So, it’s kind of funny actually, cos’ I was born in Canada, but I grew up in Idaho, and Jon came from Eugene, Oregon, so we like being in the woods a lot and exploring our country, ya know, being out camping, and hiking, and horseback riding. When we first started writing we we were basically just talking about where we’d come from, that was how we started the conversation, about being from the Pacific North-West, because the parks out there are so beautiful. Anyways, I think it was on our first or second co-write, I was just playing some music, a song I’d written with a friend from Australia actually, and it was called ‘Young In America.’ It was an observational song about how fun our summers are, travelling around the U.S. And Jon goes, ‘Hey, American Young, that would be a dope name for a band!’ I was sitting there with my laptop in my lap so I Googled americanyoung.com and it was available! And I was like, ‘Wait! We need a band named American Young, that’s like the greatest band name I’ve ever heard!’ [Laughs] So yeah, that’s basically how it came about [laughs].”

Doin’ a damn fine job of makin’ cool look easy!

Kristy and Jon are passionate in the extreme about what they do, and who they are as performers, musicians, and songwriters. In fact, they’ve often referred to American Young and their fans as being more akin to a movement than anything else. So, I asked Kristy, if we were to actually think of American Young as a movement, how would she describe what it stands for and represents?

“I think, the younger generation today, we communicate faster. We have social media, it’s a digital age. Jon and I really, when we’re not playing music, we’re just talking about the greatest things on the planet that mankind is doing, ya know. Like Tesla, right! And going to Mars, and the Invictus Games in Toronto yesterday [the day before we spoke]. Those kind of things that are happening on a global level. But also, we just talk about great ideas, like cool new hospitals that our friends are building, with amazing new treatments that are available. So I think, yeah, that’s the movement, just focusing on what’s good.”

From everything I’d seen and read about Kristy and Jon, there seems to be a very special, and real, connection between them. It feels like something exists in American Young that neither had experienced in their careers before, although both had been very successful, nonetheless. What character traits did Kristy think she and Jon possessed as individual artists that made them click together so well as a duo?

“Well, I’m usually living in a land of melody and love, ya know, everybody loves each other and everything is good [laughs]. But I really believe in the goodness of people, and the beauty that’s in the music that surrounds us all the time and is constantly flowing. And Jon is a natural editor, he’s a very critical thinker. So I’ll be saying a million ideas and he’s there narrowing it all down, focusing content, which for me is good. Because I write all day long, like, every day [laughs], ya know. He kinda thinks totally opposite to how I do. He’s very critical, and very logical, so that’s good.”

When it comes to her songwriting, does Kristy have a routine that she tends to follow? Or is she more likely to be led by the moment?

“When I wake up – and this is the only part of my work out, right, it’s meditation – I really try to spend some time in quiet for a while. Some people call it meditation, some people call it prayer. But I think it’s a good idea to get open to the spirit every day. But then, you know, it’s like melodies are everywhere! O.k, like this weekend…I was working with something called Operation Song, and basically what we do is we write with soldiers who have come back from service. They write about their experience, and we put it to music. And this was the first time we’d done it with a soldier’s child, the kids of people who have died while serving their country. So I had four kids to write with, and what we do is just tell their story. One girl, she could remember her dad, everything about how he was up until she was seven, and we put that in a song, and her and her sister sang it. Another girl, she wrote a letter to her dad, about what she wanted to say to him now, and we put that in a song. And to watch that transformation happen with these young girls, it’s so powerful and empowering to have someone tell their stories to music, and find the healing that comes in that. And getting the emotions that come from the head down to the heart, ya know? And that’s what music does.”

‘There’s a few in the house tonight…..!’, as the saying goes!

If you’ve been lucky enough to have ever caught Kristy and Jon performing ‘live’, then you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say Kristy, in particular, has a sense of energy on stage that seems never-ending! If you’ve never seen American Young ‘live’, in person, just check out some of their ‘live’ videos. That same sense of energy will explode out of the screen towards you at times. But I wondered what was the difference between the sense of satisfaction Kristy gets from performing, and as a songwriter, the sense of satisfaction that comes from writing?

“The songwriting is a very selfish point for me, unless I’m telling someone else’s story, because it’s usually very personal and I’m talking about myself. So it’s….yeah, very selfish [laughs]. But I feel this massive catharsis having put some sort of nonsensical feeling and emotion into some sort of sense [laughs]. And then the performance aspect, well that’s where it [the songwriting] lives. So I was telling one of my kids yesterday, as he was listening to his friend play a song, I said ‘This is like that old idea of if a tree falls in a forest, but there’s no-one there to hear it fall, does the tree really fall?’, and he was just like, ‘Whhaaaat?!?!’ [laughs] But that’s the thing; if a song is sung and there’s nobody there to hear it, there’s no gift, because there’s no-one there to receive the gift. So that’s a constant communication interchange and exchange at concerts, when the performance is happening. There’s the speaker and there’s the listener, and you can’t really have one without the other. I think they’re inextricably linked. I also think, that from when you make it ‘live’ in a performance, when it comes alive, it has a moment to speak to other people who will have gone through their own experiences. For us, and this is how I’ve always been, if we’re having a show, a performance, then after we’re done I sit and talk to everybody! And people tell me their stories. And it’s really an incredible moment of community to have happen.”

Smiles make for good music, good music makes for smiles…it’s a precious circle.

I love American Young’s song, ‘God Sends A Train’, both because the lyric is so astonishingly raw and on-point, and because the song is a representation of such a key part of Kristy’s own life. The first time I heard the chorus, I literally felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I’m sure Kristy’s been asked countless times if ‘God Sends A Train’ is a tough song to sing, given how deeply personal it is. But what intrigued me, was the thought of how tough it possibly was to write, travelling through all of those memories, bringing those emotions back to the surface in the present, and at the same time, trying to keep in mind the craft of writing a song….

“Well, you know that’s why God sends us angels! Bob Regan, he was our N.S.A.I. (Nashville Songwriters’ Association International) President for years, and he has been such an unbelievable resource, and co-writer, for this community that is Nashville songwriters. I wrote ‘Fight Like A Girl’ with him, I wrote my whole first Bomshel record with him, almost all of it with him. I’ve written so many songs with him, probably a hundred! I was in my thirties, I think, when that day finally came [to write the song]. I mean, I’d known I needed to write it, but I had no idea how to put it into music. We had written together for maybe ten years, Bob and I, when this day came and I said, ‘Bob, have I ever told you this is kinda my life story?’, cos’ I was always walking in in the drama of the moment usually! [laughs]. This day, I think I was finally ready to go back there, and I must have spent an hour, at least, telling him this story. Maybe two! [laughs]. It was from the time my parents had gotten divorced, to having that juxtaposition of having a step-parent come into your life, it interrupts the flow of childhood, ya know. The adolescent part of me was very offended [laughs], but at the same time, the child part of me was very afraid. So I was sitting there going through all of these emotions telling Bob this story. And then as well, I had gotten to a point where I hadn’t spoken to my mom in a long time and I just kind of froze a bit on that emotional level, I think. So, we wrote this song, ‘God Sends A Train’, and I literally thought it was my ‘burn-letter.’ I felt like, o.k, I’ve written down the lyrics, now I’m gonna have a good cry about it, there ya go. It’s just another story in my life. But I played it for my mom and it was hands-down the most healing thing that’s ever happened. And she, in her amazing wisdom, was just so accepting. She was like, ‘You know what, it’s your story. It’s your childhood story, your adolescent story.’ And that’s the way that it felt. It was scary, but it was also o.k for it to be that. And since I’ve been playing it, so many people have told me the ‘train-moments’ from their life, whatever those might have been. Something that makes you stand up and go, ‘Oh my goodness, life is precious, and it’s a gift every day.’ [It makes you ask yourself] am I one-hundred per-cent honest in my relationships? Am I responsible in my relationships? And for myself? And am I having fun, ya know? [laughs]. We’ve got to stop and ask these questions and make sure we’re present and conscious in the moment, it’s so important.”

Anywhere in the audience at at AY show means being at the heart of the fun.

I saw a brilliant quote from Kristy where she remarked that, “Playing music has given me rocking-chair stories that no money could ever buy.” Looking back on those experiences today, are there any particular pieces of advice or wisdom that Kristy’s picked up along the way which she feels would be important to share with others in the business, not just as performers, but as songwriters, too?

“Ammm….well, I guess you’re not supposed to say ammm, that’s probably number one! [laughs]. Be honest. I mean, there are no secrets [to success]. The world is a small town, so I think it’s the most important thing, and it never hurts, to just be honest. I mean, sometimes it does hurt! [laughs]. But at the end of the day, love wins, so honesty is always the best thing. And write every day. Every. Day. Even if it’s just getting a pen or a pencil – or your phone or whatever – but writing it down by hand, I find, is a bit more cathartic, but write every day. That’s just so important. And write fearlessly every day, that’s a good idea. And always assume, at least for me this is what I have to do when I walk into a co-write, I have to establish and assume safety and trust. Because we’re getting ready to bare the most vulnerable parts of our souls to each other. So, in that moment there has to be an agreed upon trust, a confidentiality. Cos’ in a co-write, man, it’s like an exorcism! You go through the whole thing! [laughs].”

Kristy said once that she saw American Young as taking “….country music into the future.” I asked her if she could expand a little on what she meant when she said that?

“We [country music right now] are commercial country, I mean, we’re capitalists, right. Everything that I’ve seen since I moved to Nashville, on so many levels, has to do with the commercial side of things. Which is awesome, because you see this pop/rock country explosion! And we’ve sold so much Bud Lite! [laughs] We’ve sold soooo much beer! [tongue firmly in cheek here, I feel!] But I hail back to the days of the nineties country, and prior, and Blake Shelton and Miranda stayed doing it, they were telling honest stories. And to me, I just really cling to the honesty, and the truth, and the storytelling. That’s really the heritage and the landmark legacy of country music. And I think that’s where country music needs to go again, that’s kind of what I was getting at. Cos’ we tell, and we sell, the truth, ya know. Did that answer any of your question? I’m sorry [laughs].”

When you love being on-stage performing, it looks something like this….

Speaking of the country music industry as a whole, if it was all under Kristy’s control, and if the power was in her hands to make a change that she feels would be a positive one for artists and songwriters, effective immediately….what would that change be? (By the way, this is clearly something Kristy feels strongly about, and rightly so – and I agree with her one hundred per-cent – because once she knew what direction the question was going in, she began her answer before I’d even finished the question! Passion. It’s irreplaceable!)

“Play more women. I would play more women. Most of our [country music] audience is women. And right now in the Top Twenty in the charts there’s like only two girls, I think. And I think that’s alienating a huge, huge part of our audience. At our shows, or country festivals, I see like seventy per-cent women out there. And then the guys are there for the girls! I got dropped one time from a record label, and they said country radio is gonna spend ten years not playing women! And I said that’s just craziness, it doesn’t even make sense. And he said to me, but women don’t buy women! And I was like, that’s not real!! Just look at my iPod! And I am, indeed, a woman! [laughs]. And I buy women. So yeah, if I had my say, that would be it. I believe in equal opportunity and representation. And I’m also going to add one more thing I think we need to do: expand our cultural representation! I mean, Charlie Pride is not the only black country music singer out there! There’s so many! And there’s many Hispanics, too. It’s [country music] a global conversation. And Nashville is a global tourist location, so I think well, why can’t we represent different countries, and languages, and races, and religions, and sexes? To me, that’s what I would do.”

My first chat with Kristy will definitely live in the memory, and for all the right reasons. If I wasn’t already a fan beforehand, I definitely would have been by the end of our conversation. From first question to last, Kristy’s company was a pleasure, and I look forward to when we get to do it again sometime. So, to finish, a nice, easy, question…like, what might Kristy’s all-time favourite country song be???

A few moments of silence followed, as Kristy contemplated her response….

“‘The Dance’, by Garth Brooks. Because I get emotional even when I just think about it, ya know? I think the first time it really hit me was when I was at my cousin’s graduation in Denver, Colorado, and they played it. And I remember just crying, and watching everybody else crying, because they were all embarking on this transition in life. And life, and the song, is all about the risks that we take.”

The album, ‘AY’, by American Young, is out now.

AMERICAN YOUNG – CAPTURING EMOTIONS FROM THE HEAD DOWN TO THE HEART was originally published on HEM COUNTRY