#man asked me if he could do 50/50 custody of his kids while living at my place
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#jesus christ girls do not get a 40 year old roomate thats starting his divorce case#man asked me if he could do 50/50 custody of his kids while living at my place#he has 3 kids!!!! there are two bedrooms + a living room and a dining room how does he think this will work#even though he cooks and cleans it's not worth it
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Welcome home.
Tw pups gendered looks, pre talk of ftm and mental struggles, depression, suicidal thoughts, multiple povs, pup will be referred to still as pup, hcs then fic time be scared I did this at work, tell me if I missed anything. Bad puns
Headcanons
Works at the local bar, as a bartender and bouncer, he tries his best, makes a mean cocktail.
Acts like a disappointed dad with kids 18 and under they come in with fake IDs and try to act the big game, gives them Shirley temples and didn't tell them.
Gets protective if they look or smell like their home life is bad. "I got ya kid, just rest in the back I'll wake you when it's time to leave." He'll growl out.
He checks on them from time to time after they leave his custody to make sure their really doing better
Once he gets pup, he excitedly tell them he's a real dad now since he has a blood child, he's doesn't love them any less of anything he loves them more. "Their just so bloody perfect." Crys a lot.
Tells his witch buddy they are his lil blessing, she just smiles at him lovingly like a older sister that just got notification that their now a aunt
He keeps a pic of them in his wallet, one current and one of them as a baby, he stole the baby pic from their mom, sneaky lil devil wolf.
Keeps a photo album of his favorite pics jokes on him now he has 4 of them cause he doesn't want to miss a moment of their life now
Wishes he could have been there more for them, keep their mother from making them feel like they didn't belong since they were afab and feel male
He's making up for it as much as a man who didn't know he had a child can. Lots of support.
He's was on the brink of killing himself when pup was dropped on his door step more on that later
He knows without pup he would be dead, either by his own hand or asking to be back in his kings service, he just knows he wouldn't be a dad,
low and behold arawn his king would make sure he was a dad, though natural means or unnatural means
Arawn would have made it so, call up Loki to seduce the gwyllgi, helloki, his king always wanted pups from him so it was always in his cards to be a dad, it's why his king gave him up so willingly without much of a fight.
Arawn will be the wine aunt of swonds litters.
Fic time call back
As he looks at the dim bar, he was done for the night, not really wanting to take anyone home, he looks at Steph. "Your alone tonight want me to stay and help out boss man?" He asks, Steph was a 50 year old Irish man, the owner of the bar, he could handle himself sure but he owned the man to much.
"nah take your time off laddie ya be needing more than I need you." The man chuckles, when Steph calls him laddie it warms his heart since it's been a good minute since he's been a laddie.
"sure thing boss man, call if you need me, not like a have family to be away from." Swond teases, Steph winces at that. "Get one it's worth the trouble, trust me I would love to have mine back." The man mummers softly, Stephs family died while he was away at war trying to keep everyone safe. The pain he hears on the man voice almost makes him cry, " your young, health get you a good woman or man, the Lord's know I don't judge." Steph chuckles, " maybe old timer." He leans on the bar top watching Stephs eyes crinkle in amusement at being called old timer.
"get some laughter in the home o' yours," Steph laughs out, "it's to big and to quiet for just your sorry hide." Steph finished, "never met the right lass is all." Swond defends, hands up. Steph chuckles again, "so then find the wrong lass raise some hell then find the right one settle down have a few kids amd settle down. That's what makes life worth living my boy," Steph hums out, maybe his boss was right.
Maybe it was time to start a family, "sure thing you old buzzard," Swond moves to grab his sling bag. He'd known Steph since Steph was 20 years old, doesn't ask why he doesn't age just accepts it fae magic and moves on. "When you ask Sheila out then I'll think about starting a family. Ask a nice lass out." He says jokingly with a wink, it's about time Steph moved on and gets a new wife and Shelia is a widow with two kids that need a strong father figure.
"aye is that a promise ya dodgy bastard." He jokes and challenges Swond. Of course Steph would do this knowing Swond wouldn't back down. "You know I won't back down from that." He throws a wink to his boss, adjusting his bag. He says his good byes then exits to the cold and damp.
He puffs out his breath feeling like a pup again, of course the cold would bring this out in him. "To my king I hope the new years finds you well and healthy. May ye's health continue to flourish." He whispers out a small prayer to his king arawn. He still misses his king, regretting why he left, for a feckless and fickle lass. Now he's wearly of anyone who's tounge is layed with flattery, he puffs out another breath thinking about how most can't be trusted past a few nights, he should ask to be put back in service to his king. "Like he'd take me back, I left him once whose to say I won't again." He chastised himself he knew better, it's a long cold walk home.
Apon his doorstep is a woman barely 18 by the looks of it, she sobbing softly, if not for his hound hearing he wouldn't know, she had snow white hair with wolf ears tipped in red, her hair tips match, a matching tail as well, flat chested and no hips, she looks up at his approach and he freezes she has blood red eyes, a small button nose and fangs just a bit to big for her mouth, she's in flannel, t shirt, jeans and high tops. "Dad?" She whispers.
He's in shock, he stopped by her. "I'm not anyone's dad I've been very careful, sweetheart where is your parents?" He asks as softly as a 8 ft tall man can, "s-she left me here, and said I'm my dads problem now. That was 9 hours ago." Just his luck he has a crying teenager on his door stop.
He lets her in to warm up, texting the rest of his make shift pack to see whose closet to see if she was his, since he can't smell it himself, as they wait he feeds and waters her, lets her borrow one of his shirts to help warm her up, she doesn't talk much he doesn't either. She acts so much like him it's unnerving, she's scared of her own shadow, so defensive for someone so tiny at 5'5, it takes about a hour for, Tyler to show up.
"Swond you told me you had a unknown, HELLO CHILD OF HIS." Tyler practically screams seeing and sniffing the air. Well that concerns and confirms it. "Tyler I've been safe how is she mine." Swond asks his friend. "Can you call the witch and see what she can find since pup will be staying here now, her mom dropped her off and ran while I was at work." Swond rubs his left brow, looking at her trying to make herself smaller. "I'm 18 I can take care of myself you know." She piples up. He give her a drool stare. " Not happing lass." They both say at the same time she just curls up more on the couch. They talk for a few hours at this point she's calmed down and her hair is now blond no trace of her ears and tail now. " We have to train her into her new powers, tell her what she is." Swond speaks softly as not to wake her as he picks her up to place her in bed.
That's how their first night went and from there it's just him trying to be the best dad he can be and trying to be respectful of his pups gender, now if you want to know about the time he broke into pups moms place I could be talked into sharing that.
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The Last Semester – Part 26
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Words: 1,991
Warning: Smut, Pregnancy Mentioned
Four months had passed and you had finally moved in with Cillian and Charlie who had become too much for his mother to handle.
After several letters to and from Nadine’s lawyer, it was decided that Charlie should have the choice. He was old enough and, unsurprisingly, he chose to be living with his father full time.
But full time didn’t mean that he didn’t see his mother. Whenever he wanted, he organised to see her and stay over at her place, probably around once or twice per week and all he had to do was to inform Cillian.
For Hendrix on the other hand, not much had changed and Nadine and Cillian were sharing custody which, for once, had started to work now that Nadine had finally met someone else.
The irony in it all was that it was your father who had introduced them at school pick up. He was a single father whose son attended the same school and, just like your father, he worked in theatre.
‘How nice, an invitation from your ex’ you said as you opened the mail over breakfast.
‘To what?’ Cillian asked almost surprised.
‘Her partner’s new play’ you said somewhat perplexed, causing Cillian to laugh.
‘Who would have thought that this would ever happen, eh?’ Cillian chuckled and you nodded in agreement as, suddenly, the doorbell rang.
You remembered that Cillian had invited Enda and your father over to discuss the premier of their own new play the following, but your father had been sick so only Enda could make it.
‘Look at you two with matching slippers’ Enda laughed as he walked in to the kitchen and noticed that you both started to look like an old married couple who was shopping at Primark.
‘You know what it’s like man. First, they move in, then they take over all of the cabinet space and then they start buying you clothes like this’ Cillian chuckled as he looked down at his fluffy Easter Bunny slippers, causing you to give him a nudge of disapproval.
After you offered Enda a coffee and Cillian had gotten the initial small talk out of the way, Enda started to discuss the play and then his birthday weekend in two months.
It was his 50th birthday and he had booked a large cottage in Kerry for a long weekend. Amongst two other couples, Cillian, you, your father and your stepmother were going to join him and, whilst you thought that this might become awkward, you were also really excited about it.
‘I just wanted to talk with you guys about something in advance’ Enda then said as he brought up the getaway.
‘Lorraine is pregnant’ Cillian then said with a smile, referring to Enda’s wife who, herself, was only in her early thirties.
‘How did you know?’ Enda then asked.
‘Her boobs have gotten bigger’ Cillian said with a serious voice, causing Enda’s chin to drop and Cillian to break out in laughter.
‘I am just fucking with you man. She didn’t drink at the pub the other night’ Cillian then explained before you both congratulated him.
‘I thought I should tell you in advance, because this might be a bit of a sore point for you guys and I can understand if this bothers you, being around not one, but two pregnant couples for my birthday’ Enda explained, referring to your miscarriage and the fact that, to the best of his knowledge, you hadn’t fallen pregnant again yet.
‘We appreciate that Enda, really’ you said before giving him a hug and telling him how excited you were for Lorraine before asking him a bunch of questions. You knew that Cillian’s brother’s wife was also pregnant and it was indeed going to be a weekend full of baby talk for Enda’s 50th.
After you talked about pregnancies and babies for a while, you decided to leave Cillian and Enda to it as they had more to discuss about the play and Enda had warned you on numerous occasions that Cillian would get quite exhausted during times of on-stage performance.
***
Just as you walked out of the room, you could hear Enda ask Cillian in private about your plans to have children.
‘I know the pregnancy was an accident but, are you guys trying again?’ he then said quietly and carefully.
‘No man, we are not trying. We’ve been together for less than a year, there is no rush’ Cillian said, causing your mood to sadden slightly.
Whilst you didn’t want Cillian to know, the news Enda had broken to you that morning was difficult for you to digest.
You weren’t trying, yet you knew that you would be excited if you were to fall pregnant again.
Cillian was an amazing father to his boys and, just last night, you found several pictures of him with them when they were babies.
He looked so happy and so content and you wanted to experience this for yourself and with your own children. The photos made your heart melt and fill with an unfamiliar warmth. He was outright beautiful in them, holding his boys, caring for them and loving them the way he did.
***
Later that evening, Cillian received a text from Charlie telling him that he would be staying with his mother for the night.
‘No kids tonight, do you want to go out for dinner?’ Cillian asked as he looked up from his phone just as you came walking out of the bathroom.
‘No’ you said, biting your lip as you approached Cillian.
‘I have a different idea, common’ you said as you took Cillian by the hand and began leading him upstairs, forgetting your robe on the floor.
‘I think I might like whatever idea you have’ Cillian chuckled as he followed you into the bedroom, where you turned around and pressed yourself again him, kissing him deeply and passionately.
‘Oh, I most defiantly like your idea’ Cillian said eagerly before taking off his t-shirt and pulling your body even closer to him, enthralled by the feel of your skin against his.
As you kissed, you began to pull Cillian’s shorts down over his hips until they dropped to the floor. His rapidly-swelling cock pressed against your smooth pussy now while you wrapped your arms around another and kissed hungrily, tongues slithering into one another's mouths.
‘God, I love you so much, Cillian’ you moaned through your kiss. ‘I'm so in love with you’ you added, showing your affection.
‘I love you too, Y/N’ was his reply and your hands wandered freely around one another's bodies now, exploring and groping eagerly.
‘I want to taste you’ he then exclaimed and he didn't wait for an answer but simply pushed you backwards until your knees touched the edge of the bed and you buckled with a gasp at his directness, falling onto the bed.
You had barely bounced on the mattress before you spread your legs wantonly, inviting Cillian to lick your already wet pussy. As he leaned in, you reached down and used your fingers to spread your netherlips wide, exposing yourself to him. Your coral-coloured inner pink glistened, begging for Cillian’s tongue.
You moaned loudly and shuddered as he finally pressed his mouth to your pussy, snaking his tongue inside you. You tasted sweet and Cillian felt your legs wrap around his shoulders while your hands tangled in his hair, rocking his head. Cillian’s hands clamped down on your thighs, pinning you to him while he began to lash your slit mercilessly. There was no foreplay involved, he just wanted you as wet as possible for when he fucked you.
‘Oh God, Cillian’ you gasped, almost doubling over as he tortured you. ‘Fuck, you're going to make me cum’ you groaned.
You pushed up with your hips suddenly, crushing your pussy to his face and gripping his head tightly. Your groan of pleasure was guttural and shameless as you came and Cillian couldn’t believe how quickly you had cum.
‘Three fucking minutes, I am good’ Cillian smirked as he looked at his watch but, before he had time to think about anything else, you pulled him up to your face and kissed him, hard. Your tongue plunged into his mouth, tangling with his as you tasted yourself greedily. Your hips ground against his, your sopping pussy hungry for Cillian’s swollen, throbbing cock.
‘Fuck me, Cillian…I need you inside me’ you groaned after you pulled back from the kiss, your eyes flashing with lust.
‘Fuck me and make me scream as you cum inside me’ you then said eagerly and desperately.
‘You want me to cum inside you?’ Cillian asked somewhat surprised by your request and you nodded before pulling him close for another kiss.
‘Yes, please…’ you then huffed out and Cillian nodded and pinned you down, your loud moan all he could hear as he pressed his cock head between your slippery lips and sank deep inside you.
You pressed back up against Cillian, taking him in to the hilt. Your hands grabbed his ass cheeks and you began bucking voraciously.
Cillian looked down into your eyes and you stared back into his intently, lost in one another. He slid his cock in and out of your pussy, which flexed and gripped him tightly as you established a heated rhythm between you. Your legs wrapped around Cillian’s waist and you rocked against him.
You made no attempt to prolong your lovemaking, you just wanted to cum together. You could feel the sweat on your bodies as you fucked, panting as you stared into one another's eyes. The sticky, wet sucking sounds of Cillian’s member pushing back and forth inside you made you both wild with desire. His balls slapped against you as he pushed harder and harder, propping himself on top of you with his hands.
‘Oh god Cillian, yes’ you gasped, your eyes wide, your whole body shaking as your orgasm washed over you. Cillian pressed desperately, trying to reach as deep inside you as he could, knowing very well why you wanted him to cum inside you.
He arched his back as that tingling, boiling fire welled up in him and he clenched his teeth as he strained, calling out your name.
You crushed yourself on to Cillian, crying out loudly, your pussy devouring his seed as he filled you with rope after rope of his warm cum.
As the warm sticky fluids covered your cervix, your nails raked along his back. You almost wailed as you came, eyes squeezed shut while you worked your pussy around his cock. You pulled Cillian down to you and you kissed deeply and lovingly, expressing your deepest emotions for one another and you never wanted this moment to end.
‘I love you’ Cillian then said as he finally sagged down on top of you and you hugged him gently, almost purring as you whispered in his ear about how much you loved him too.
Your lips planted soft kisses along his neck and shoulder while your fingers caressed his back. He still moved slowly in and out of you and you squeezed the last drops of cum from him with your pussy until, eventually he pulled out and slowly rolled onto his back, bringing you with him to lean against his chest.
‘So, I assume that you want to fall pregnant again?’ Cillian asked, his heart still beating fast.
‘Yes…uhm…do you?’ you asked knowing that your question came a bit late as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.
‘I think I answered this question when I came inside you’ Cillian chuckled before he grabbed a pillow from the floor and propped it beneath you.
You looked at him somewhat confused and he grinned.
‘Just making sure it stays in, eh?’ Cillian laughed before giving you another kiss.
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13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps
Death, illness and tragedy have long been part of the history of insane asylums, and for as long as they have existed, so too have the scary stories associated with them. From haunted hospitals to sadistic doctors and nurses, psychiatric wards have been the inspiration for many of our favorite horror movies and books. Yet, the true stories told by the psych ward workers below far surpass any horrors that we might have seen at the cinema or read in a book.
Without further ado, here are thirteen of some of the creepiest psych ward stories on the internet that have been shared by health care professionals.
1. Holding her own Eyes
My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I’ve ever heard.
This was during the night shift, and generally, all the patients’ bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.
When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.
The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.
My mom screamed for help and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.
2. The Saw
I work as a psychotherapist in a hospital system. My definition of creepy is probably quite a bit different from other medical professionals.
The one that got to me the most was a patient who came to us after attempting suicide by sawing both his arms off at the forearm with a table saw. His arms were reattached, fairly successfully too, with only limited impairments in mobility. All I could think was how bad it would have to be to live in his head that sawing his arms off seemed better than that.
He has since completed suicide.
3. Jane?
We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We’ll call her Jane. Jane’s first night at our facility staff doing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.
Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room she would run between walls in her room touching them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. This particular night Jane was frantic in her pace, practically running between walls. Our night staff observed the entire interaction and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When the staff went to check on Jane she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong and Jane replied, “what makes you think you are speaking to Jane?”
4. The Vampire
My mom worked in mental institutions in her younger years (and actually worked at a large, well-known asylum before it was shut down.)
There was one woman there that thought she was a vampire of sorts. She was only allowed out one hour a day, and they had to use safety precautions. She had already attacked and killed at least one hospital worker before these were enacted.
When my Mom asked about her, it was revealed that she had killed at least two of her children, wounded another as well as her husband because she had some sort of physical condition called Porphyria, which apparently made her crave blood.
By the time that they discovered there was something physically wrong with her, she already had lost her mind from guilt and grief.
5. The Spitter
I’m not a psychologist but my friend is. She told me about a patient of hers who was HIV positive and a paranoid schizophrenic. He thought that the nurses who worked at the hospital he was in were trying to kill him, so he would frequently bite his tongue, and spit HIV positive blood into their faces/mouths. When they had to come into contact with him, they were required to wear full masks and gloves.
6. The Only One
I once knew a woman who had spent part of her residency at a psychiatric hospital for people with severe mental conditions. Apparently, the grounds had a lovely, enclosed greenhouse. One day, one of their schizophrenic patients was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, as a heron frantically flew around. It had found its way in and, not being able to escape, it was smashing into the large panes of glass. The man just sat there watching.
Finally, my counselor asked him if the bird was bothering him and he kind of sighed and said, “Thank god, I thought I was the only one seeing that.”
7. Family Photographs
My sister is the director of a psychiatric hospital. There was recently a lady there who would cut her arms, legs and torso open and place photographs of her family under her skin.
8. Under the Bed
Once, a fellow female patient told me she found writings under her bed. They were just old, small wooden bed frames with hard mattresses that would make all kinds of noises when you rolled over, but I still wondered what exactly she was doing lying under her bed to find these writings.
When she first told me, I thought it was a joke. But sure enough, one day during group we managed to sneak away, and she showed me. Indeed, there were stories written under her bed. After that, we had everyone check under their own beds, and there was more writing under every single bed.
They were stories of patients who had stayed here before, or ways they were planning on killing themselves, or who the good and bad nurses were. It creeped me out.
9. Time of Death
Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar “checklist” that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way.
They would get caught talking to someone that wasn’t there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, “Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00.” Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.
10. The Test Subject
I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody – often the CIA – is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.
“It’s precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects,” he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?
“You can see I’m not irrational,” the man said. “I’m just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am.”
11. The Boy who Loved Knives
As a tech in psych years ago, there was a 7-year-old kid sent to the floor because the mom didn’t know what to do with him. Sadly, common thing to happen, even if the kids don’t have psych issues. Anyway, the mom was shaking and crying, and they had to take the kid into another room. She was genuinely afraid of her own son. She had suspected something was wrong when she kept finding mutilated animals in the backyard, but never heard or saw coyotes or anything around. The neighbors smaller pets started disappearing. The boy had an obsession with knives, hiding them around the house. Denying anything when the mom confronted him. Then when the two started getting into arguments, he would get really violent and hit her, push her down and kick her, threaten to kill her. On multiple occasions she woke up in the middle of the night with him standing beside her bed, staring her in the face. She put extra locks on her bedroom door to feel safe while she slept. The last straw was when she lifted up his mattress and found 50+ knives of all shapes and sizes under there. So she brought him to us.
I remember talking to him, treating him like he was just any other kid that came through. He seemed remarkably normal, until you spoke directly to him. He had this way of looking right through you, or maybe like he didn’t see you at all while you were speaking.
He would respond like a robot, like he was just saying words because that’s what we wanted to hear. And he would always put on this creepy, dead-looking smile. Like all mouth and no eye involvement in the smile. Especially when he would get away with something, like taking another kid’s markers and they couldn’t figure it out. Still gives me chills laying here thinking about him.
I believe I met a 7-year-old psychopath.
12. The New Mom
I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients’ medications, and being a 5’2″ girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.
His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me “Miss Jones” or “ma’am.”
One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.
This escalated to the point of him calling her “Mom” and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn’t be his mom because that would hurt his real mother’s feelings, and that she already had that job covered.
So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.
13. Bugs
Nothing I can say can possibly describe the year I worked in Psychiatric Intensive Care. Creepy isn’t the thing that comes to mind when I think back on it…more heartbreaking and horrifying. But creepiness was a part of it. Especially evening and night shifts, naturally.
There is always something disturbing about watching someone while they hallucinate. You can tell it is 100% real to them, and something about that makes you believe it, on some level. A lot of stories end with, “and of course, I had to look over my shoulder to make sure”. You see the emotions it brings out.
There was a woman that came in and sat down across the table from me for her admission interview. She had bandages all over her arms and scotch tape over her mouth and ears. She looked very uncomfortable and wouldn’t really sit still. When the nurse would ask her a question, she would peel the corner of the tape back and answer, then stick the tape back on really fast.
We eventually found out that she saw and felt bugs crawling all over her, and they were trying to get inside her body. The tape was to keep the bugs out. The bandages were because some bugs got in and she had to dig them out. She couldn’t sit still because she felt the bugs all over her even while we sat and talked. The worst part was, she had some idea that it was her mind playing tricks on her. Can you imagine going through your life, feeling like someone is continuously dumping buckets of cockroaches on your head, feeling like they’re all over you and getting inside of you to the point that you’re digging chunks out of your flesh in a panic, all while knowing intellectually that none of it is real?
#13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps#shared stories#paranormal#ghost and spirits#ghost and hauntings#haunted salem#myhauntedsalem
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Not-So-Ex-Wife
From Anon:
15 and 52 with jay halstead x depressed/stubborn reader whos also in intelligence please? thanks 👍🏻
Words: 2057 Warnings: Canon-typical violence Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader A/N: Hope you like it!
“What’s up your ass today, (Y/L/N)?”
Any other day, that sentence would be playful banter that you’d engage and reply at the same level. Any other day, you would be in a good mood, even in the early morning. Any other day, you would not want to murder Adam the moment those words left his lips. But today was not any other day.
“Would you mind ever so kindly minding your own fucking business, Ruzek?” You snap, sitting at your desk and logging into your computer to begin the workday.
“Have you had your coffee yet? You sound like you need a caffeine fix.” Adam continues, continuing to push your nerves. You glare at him over the screen, the murderous intent clear as day in your eyes.
“Adam, either you cut it out or the case we’ll be solving today will be your murder.” You growl, sinking back into the chair and watching the computer screen as it loads. You take a pencil from the mug on your desk and twirl it around your fingers, trying to distract yourself.
You clench your jaw when Jay walks in and it goes unnoticed by precisely no one, Adam raising his brow as the pencil in your hand cracks slightly under your grip. Voight walks out of his office, waving a folder in his hand as Jay sits down.
“Halstead, you’re late.” Voight remarks, opening the folder and sticking some pictures onto the whiteboard. “We have a hot case. Some kids were playing on the trail when they found a woman’s body. Tracy Delaya, 25, choked briefly before being stabbed.”
“I’ve seen this M.O. before, back in Homicide.” You say, pointing at the peculiar stab pattern. “All women, early twenties, and by the pattern of the stabbing, I’d say she’s a Taurus.”
“What?” Adam is the one voicing the collective confusion as you get up and take a closer look at the stab wounds on the victim. You get back to your computer, pulling up the cold case files and printing them.
“Back when I was in Homicide we caught a string of cases like this.” You say, grabbing the freshly printed paper and pinning it to the whiteboard beside Tracy’s picture. “Anna, Clara, Dora, Patricia, and now Tracy. Anna was Capricorn, Clara was Aquarius, Dora was Pisces, Patricia was Aries, Tracy is Taurus. He’s following the star signs calendar with his murders.”
“He?”
“We got some DNA evidence on Clara, she scratched him. The DNA was degraded to the point where we couldn’t get an ID, but we could determine it was male.” You grab the felt pen and begin to write under the pictures, scribbling the women’s names, ages, and star signs. “The stab wounds have the pattern of the star sign’s constellation. He’s going after a Gemini now.”
“Do you still have contact with witnesses and CIs involved in this case?” Voight asks, making you scratch the back of your neck as you think.
“It was a few years ago, but I’ll give it a shot.” You say, grabbing your badge and your gun from the top of your desk and clipping them on your pants’ waist.
“Take someone with you.” Voight calls out after you, and you don’t even stop to call the person.
“Adam, come on.” You say, strutting down the stairs. The rest of the team exchange confused looks before Adam follows you downstairs and into your car, sitting in the passenger seat and facing you with a questioning look on his face.
“It’s always Jay. Jay’s your partner. What the hell is going on, (Y/L/N)?” Adam asks as you start the car, your eyes fixated on the road.
“Well, maybe I want to change it up. Maybe I’m too mad at something to even be able to see Jay. Maybe I’m entitled to have feelings.” You say, getting a confused squeak from Adam right as his phone rings with a text message.
“See. He’s asking me why you’re mad at him.” Adam mumbles. “What happened? Why are you mad?”
“Maybe if he didn’t lie to me, I wouldn’t be mad.” You say, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel when you get to a red stoplight. “Maybe if I hadn’t believed that he was different and that we had something nice going on I wouldn’t be like this. I always get my hopes up and now I’m fucked, as per usual, and I’m fucking angry at it, and at myself for allowing me to believe something good was coming out of this.”
“Stop, freeze frame, rewind, hold on for a second.” Adam says, shaking his head as he tries to make sense of what you just said. “You had something nice going on? He lied to you? Are the two of you dating or something?”
“…It’s complicated.” You grumble, going forward as soon as the sign turns green. “We meet up after work for drinks at either his or my place, we talk for hours, it’s been really nice, you know? Like one of those cliché relationship starts from the movies. It was probably just some normal partner relationship and I read too much into it. Anyway, I got carried away into thinking it was something more, and I saw him with someone else yesterday.”
“This… This is confusing. But this is also grounds for me to win the bet.” Adam says, rubbing his hands as you raise your brow at him. “Who was he with, though?”
“Abby McSweeney.” You snap, your grip on the wheel tightening as Adam’s eyebrows reach his forehead. “His darling ex-who-isn’t-really-ex-wife.”
“Oh wow.”
“Yeah. So I’m pissed. Mostly at myself, but seeing his face definitely does not help.”
You can see Ruzek picking up his phone and typing fervently as you park the car. You shake your head and get out of the car, spotting a hooded man walking towards one of your previous witnesses.
Drawing your gun, you creep up until you see the man just a couple of steps away from your witness, something metallic glinting in his hand.
“Chicago PD!” You shout, aiming your gun and stalking forward, making the man stop in his tracks before turning around and running in the opposite direction. You turn to Adam, nodding with your head towards the witness. “Adam, stay with her!”
You take off running after the man, feeling your muscles burning as you sprint as fast as you can, turning corners and leaping obstacles.
“Goddamn it (Y/L/N), wait up!” Adam shouts, sounding out of breath. “50-21 Ida, requesting back-up, two plain clothed officers pursuing a suspect on foot.”
You cut your path through a narrow alley and will yourself to go faster, tackling the suspect to the ground. You shout when the knife in his hand connects with your arm and then knicks your face, making you wrestle the knife out of his grasp and away from him, landing a few solid punches before Adam catches up and points his gun at the man on the floor, reinforcing the idea that he had nowhere to go.
You get up and get your cuffs, arresting the man and wiping the blood off your face.
“Never mind that, Main. Suspect is in custody.” Adam says into his radio, turning to you. “You know that fighting people, both verbal and physically, isn’t the only solution available for when things don’t go your way, right?”
-
The rest of the day seems to trickle by slowly, annoying you to no end. When the clock finally reaches the clock-out time, all of you get up and gather your things to go home for the day.
“Anyone up to go to Molly’s?” Kevin asks, giving everyone puppy eyes. You shake your head, putting on your jacket.
“Not me, I’m going home.” You say, gathering your house keys and jacket. “Long day, I’m sore, I need a bath and my bed.”
“Oh c’mon (Y/N), please join us!” He begs, hugging you from behind and making you chuckle.
“I’m really not in the mood Kev, I’m sorry. Some other time, ok?” You negotiate, making him let you go.
You wave your goodbyes at everyone before making your way down the stairs, making your way to your car. You exit the precinct’s doors and see the tanned brunette standing by Jay’s car, your blood beginning to boil over once again before you shake your head and briskly walk towards your car.
You unlock the driver’s door and get in, just sitting behind the wheel for a while as you watch the rest of the team leave the precinct through your rear-view mirror. With a clenched jaw, you watch as Jay goes to her. You fire up the engine and put on your seatbelt, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back to your apartment.
You curse internally as you park your car in front of your apartment building and see Jay’s GMC pulling up on the opposite side; before, living across the street from your partner and best friend seemed like a godsend, but now it just seemed like a cruel punishment. You turn off your car and undo your seatbelt, trying to get out of the car and into the apartment building before Jay notices that you’re only just arriving as well, but no such luck.
He crosses the road in a jog, catching up to you as you’re making your way up the stairs and grabbing your arm, turning you around.
“What’s going on?” He asks, his blue eyes pleading as he tries to find the answer on your face. “We’re partners, and today you ditched me for Ruzek? You didn’t even talk to me all day. What did I do?”
“Nothing.” You say, pulling your arm out of his grasp. You hate yourself for how much you’re about to lie, but you can’t let him know the truth. “Just felt like switching it up a bit.”
You unlock the outer door, greeting your downstairs neighbor as you pass by her in the hallway. You can hear Jay hot on your tail and curse internally, hoping he just gets the message and leaves you alone.
“You’re not acting like usual, (Y/N). Please, talk to me.”
“Aren’t we all not acting like usual?” You can’t help yourself but remark, rolling your eyes at him. You can hear a little shocked huff coming from Jay as you unlock the door and take one step inside before turning around and blocking the entrance for him. “Look, Jay, I just want to relax a bit and tend to my cuts and sore muscles, ok? Just leave it.”
“I can’t leave it.” He says, planting his hand firmly on the door as you move to close it. “I want to know what I did wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong; I was the one screwing up.” You say, hating the tremble that presents itself in your voice. “I was the one dumb enough to believe you’d ever see me as anything more than a partner and a friend, I was the one dumb enough to believe anyone could love me. Truth is, I don’t deserve to be loved, and I fooled myself into thinking otherwise. I hope you and Abby are happy.”
You’re sniffling by the end of your little rant, your eyes glued on the floor as silence fills the hallway. You meekly move to close the door, feeling the tears brimming your eyes when Jay bursts inside, nearly tackling you. He holds you up and closes the door with his foot, eyes wide with disbelief.
“You think me and Abby are together?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not, this is a huge misunderstanding, oh my god. I’ve been meeting her because we’re finally formalizing the divorce. I served her papers a couple weeks ago. And what bullshit it that about not deserving to be loved? You’re one of the most lovable people I know, (Y/N). Hell, I don’t even know how long I fell head over heels with you, but I did, and I fell so fucking hard, you have no idea.”
The tears fall from your face as he gently cups it, leaning his forehead against yours as you start laughing hysterically before he leans in and presses a gentle kiss on your lips.
“Want to stay and watch a movie?”
“Of course.”
#One Chicago#one chicago fanfiction#one chicago imagines#one chicago fanfictions#one chicago imagine#one chicago fanfics#one chicago fanfic#one Chicago fic#one chicago fics#chicago#Chicago PD#chicago pd fanfiction#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fic#chicago pd imagines#chicago pd fanfictions#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd fanfics#chicago pd fics#jay halstead#jay halstead x reader#reader insert#female reader#intelligence!reader#police!reader
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Pairings: None
Word Count: 1,916 Words
Summary: Day 1 and 2 of UA. The Battle Trials and the UA press break-in happen.
Warnings: Fighting Mention, Screaming Mention, Injury Mention, Food Mention, Anxiety Mention, Anxiety Attack Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.
Notes: Shinsou's trial hero costume is a black jumpsuit like Todoroki's second hero costume but with lots of body armor and a bulletproof bodysuit underneath, because he's still training and has never physically trained himself in hazardous situations before. He also has a lot of weapons on his outfit and a capture scarf like Aizawa's and his Artificial Vocal Cords.
Usernames: Existence Is A Prison Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20
Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 2
2:00 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Hagakure: My new outfit is amazing. I'm so happy, Mr. Aizawa, thank you.
Aizawa: No problem. How is training going?
Hagakure: Hey, by chance, what did you tell Midoriya?
Aizawa: I told Midoriya to think of his quirk as an extension of himself and, think of it as a water hose. Just because you have the hose doesn't mean you need it on full blast all the time. He's going to attempt using just percentages of his quirk if he can.
Aizawa: I also told him how to call the match off in case he couldn't use his quirk or if he has panic attack. AllMight should know what he means.
Aizawa: Why, what's happening?
Hagakure: Well, you see, the teams that are currently competing are Midoriya and Uraraka against Iida and Bakugou.
Aizawa: And? Is Bakugou threatening him or something. God, that kid needs therapy.
Hagakure: Actually, no. Bakugou started screaming at Midoriya and stuff. And then Midoriya just snapped and tackled Bakugou onto the ground and has been punching him for the last solid two minutes or so. Pretty sure Midoriya's screaming at him. Something about not needing a quirk to beat him.
Aizawa: Oh wow. I can't say I'm surprised but, jeez, Midoriya.
Hagakure: Oh, looks like Bakugou's been knocked out. Midoriya got him in the capture tape.
Aizawa: I can't say I'm not proud but you can't tell that to Bakugou.
Hagakure: Iida and Uraraka had a big fight for the weapon but Uraraka got Iida to run into a wall and knock himself out! Ooh, looks like I go next. Wish me luck, guys!
Aizawa: Good luck.
2:05 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Aoyama has started a video chat
What are you doing, Aoyama? -Aizawa
Is that Mr. Aizawa? -Unknown
It is, Ashido! I thought he'd like to see Hagakure training. -Aoyama
Why do you have Mr. Aizawa's number, Aoyama? -Unknown
Mr. Aizawa needs to stay in contact with us who live in the dorms so he's in a group chat with us dorm kids. - Aoyama
Aoyama, what's happening on the screen? -Aizawa
[Aoyama shows the screen, which displays Hagakure talking to her partner, Ojiro, before Todoroki and Shoji are allowed into the building. Hagakure suddenly disappears into thin air and Ojiro keeps talking as the entire building is suddenly encased in ice.]
I think they just lost. They're both trapped by the ice. -Aizawa
Wait, look! -Unknown
[the screen shows Todoroki getting restrained by capture tape as Toru becomes semi-visible again and he's officially out of the match.]
That's my girl! -Aizawa
Go, Hagakure! -Tokoyami
[the screen shows Hagakure as she disappears again and Shoji is suddenly captured as he re-enters the building]
Team I is the winner! -Unknown
This is the proudest I've been my whole life. -Aizawa
[Todoroki is thawing the building and Ojiro's feet as Hagakure is smiling and talking to Shoji, while Ojiro comes to make sure she's okay and didn't get hurt]
Aoyama has ended the video chat
Aoyama: Sorry, my phone's about to die. I didn't charge it last night, mon dieu.
Aizawa: You're fine, Aoyama. I'm sure Hagakure will keep me updated when she gets back to her phone.
Hagakure: Next is Tokoyami and Tsu vs Kirishima and Sero.
Aizawa: I'm sure the fight is even. How did you avoid getting frozen to the ground?
Hagakure: My boots sure got frozen but I got myself out of them before my legs got frozen into them.
2:20 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Hagakure: Kirishima and Sero won. Sero tied Tsu and Tokoyami up. while Kirishima went through like a bulldozer for the fake bomb.
2:35 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Hagakure: Can you expel Mineta for being a pervert?
Aizawa: Believe me, I wish I could expel students just for being pervs but, alas, I cannot because that's apparently baseless accusations against his character.
Tokoyami: Can I punch him?
Aizawa: Stop trying to get in trouble, this is the first day of school, kids.
Tokoyami: Fine. But if he pulls something drastic, I'm punching him.
Aizawa: As long as you tell someone to alert a teacher as well.
Hagakure: By the way, Yaoyorozu and Mineta vs Kaminari and Jirou was a tie because Kaminari ended up electrocuting everyone and knocking out everyone in the building while he was trying to get through the barricade Yaoyorozu made.
Aizawa: Of course he did.
2:50 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Hagakure: And Aoyama and Ashido won by surprise attacking Sato and Koda while they were having a miscommunication.
Aizawa: I've never been more proud of my three new children.
Hagakure; Oh god, he's adopting us.
Aizawa: I resent that.
Hagakure: Liar, you like having us around.
Aizawa: I resent that and these claims are unfounded.
Hagakure: I won't stop you if you try to adopt me.
Aizawa: No comment.
4:15 PM
Existence Is A Prison
Shinsou has changed Aizawa's name to feral cat dad
Shinsou has changed Aoyama's name to gay salt
Shinsou has changed Hagakure's name to ranch flavored jello
Shinsou has changed Tokoyami's name to foil-mecha
Shinsou has changed Kuroiro's name to life is a nightmare
Shinsou has changed Shiozaki's name to saviour
Shinsou has changed Tsunotori's name to schrodinger better run
Shinsou has changed Honenuki's name to pure
Shinsou has changed Monoma's name to nat20
feral cat dad: Could you not think of one for yourself, Shinsou?
Shinsou: Yeahhhhh brain no work anymore.
feral cat dad has changed Shinsou's name to farmer toshi
farmer toshi: Why?
feral cat dad: Because everyone knows you have an indoor garden in your dorm room but we don't want to tell you that you can't decorate how you want.
farmer toshi: Fair enough.
8:00 PM
Existence Is A Prison
pure: I made dinner for those still training. Dinner is veggie based bao buns with optional glazed pork belly. Cooked separately for our non-meat-eating roomies. Kageya helped me.
feral cat dad: We're wrapping up and coming back. It'll be around five minutes until we're there.
life is a nightmare: y'all better. Kiyomi worked hard on dinner.
ranch flavored jello: I can't wait.
feral cat dad: @gay salt @ranch flavored jello @foil-mecha Shinsou will be joining our training on Wednesday morning. I'd like to train him with rescue in a controlled environment.
gay salt: Sounds like a plan. I'd love to train with Shinsou.
ranch flavored jello: Welcome to 1-A unofficially, Shinsou!
foil-mecha: Glad to have you with us, Shinsou.
farmer toshi: I'll cry, shut up, all four of you.
feral cat dad: Bold of you to assume that we wouldn't hug you if you cried.
farmer toshi: stop mKing me cry, I cantsee my scren
gay salt: puppy pile on Hitoshi when you all come back.
ranch flavored jello: Already on it.
foil-mecha: I am hugging him as well and so Mr. Aizawa.
gay salt: Doesn't mean moi doesn't want to hug him.
12:14 AM
Exisence Is A Prison
farmer toshi: Hey, Mr. Aizawa, do you think I could be a hero?
feral cat dad: I'll grab a comfort cat and come over. Hold on.
farmer toshi: Yes, please, but do you?
feral cat dad: I think you'll be a hero. Honestly, I've hated that entrance exam since I was in it. I was a lot like you and I hope that you'll be a lot like me and be able to transfer up to Class 1-A.
farmer toshi: Thank you. I think I can sleep now.
feral cat dad: I'm still coming over because you still sound like you're crying.
farmer toshi: I'm happy this time.
feral cat dad: God, where are adoption papers when you need them?
2:35 PM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Has anyone seen Shinsou? He's been missing since the press got in.
nat20: I asked my class and Tetsutetsu said he saw someone with purple hair running to hide in a staff room near the cafeteria but he wasn't able to go check on them because the crowd forced him away from the cafeteria.
feral cat dad: Good, Hagakure, you're secretly in charge of 1-A, I'll be back once I get him.
3:30 PM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: I've found our boy. He's okay. He was hiding in a janitor closet having an anxiety attack.
farmer toshi: All the panic and loud noises made me think I was back with the orphanage and the caretaker was going to force me into a muzzle again, sorry if I scared anyone.
feral cat dad: I'm putting in for legal guardianship for you tonight, problem child.
farmer toshi: I'd be glad to call you my father.
8:00 PM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: So turns out that UA having your custody makes my fatherhood of you a twelve hour process, Hitoshi. If I put it in now, you'd be legally mine come tomorrow morning at 8.
farmer toshi: I want to keep my surname though, because I want people to judge me based on my abilities, not yours.
feral cat dad: Fair enough.
gay salt: I support one trashy gremlin man and his tired cryptid son.
8:00 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: It's official, I now own one gay son and the process for one lesbian daughter gets finalized in another 12 hours.
foil-mecha: Hitoshi, we're all very happy for you. Mr. Aizawa, we love your child-hoarding tendencies.
feral cat dad: This one's getting it.
life is a nightmare: Oh god, we're all part of his horde of children.
feral cat dad: Good, good, you've all acknowledged it finally.
nat20: I've had this new father for three days but, if anything happened to him, I'd kill whoever did it so slow and painful that their ancestors would start weeping in agony.
feral cat dad: Very much appreciated, thanks, but no murder or torture.
2:00 PM
Existence Is A Prison
foil-mecha: My outfit? Remarkable. Me changing into it? Absolutely not.
feral cat dad: Tokoyami, you can change in the classroom again today, I'll block the door again.
foil-mecha: Thank you.
feral cat dad: Aoyama, do you feel comfortable changing in the boy room, girls room, or the classroom for changing.
gay salt: I changed in the girl's lockers after they let me explain. We're mint on this end, Dad.
feral cat dad: Okay, good.
farmer toshi: My trial hero outfit is amazing, Dad, thank you.
2:10 PM
Existence Is A Prison
ranch flavored jello: I'm torn between laughing and crying. Bakugou is so offended. Get em, Asui.
feral cat dad: I fully support Asui dragging Bakugou's already broken ego through the mud.
farmer toshi: Guess you could say his personality is explosive.
farmer toshi: His attitude is flashy.
farmer toshi: He's dynamite, if you will.
foil-mecha: Please stop, I'm getting a cramp in my stomach from trying not to laugh.
farmer toshi: He's lit, your honor.
gay salt: I hate you, you gremlin.
farmer toshi: His personality is quite booming.
farmer toshi: He's pretty emotionally eruptive.
farmer toshi: Big stinky boom boom boy got the big mad.
feral cat dad: Petition to refer to Bakugou as Stinky Boom Boom Boy. Any signatures for this petition?
gay salt: Signed.
ranch flavored jello: Take my signature and run with it.
foil-mecha: Signed.
farmer toshi: Hell yeah, sign me up.
feral cat dad: Alright, we're almost there. Look alive, Sunshines.
Taglist: @everythingisstardust
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#hagakure tooru#aizawa shouta#aoyama yuuga#fumikage tokoyami#shinsou hitoshi#juzo honenuki#kuroiro shihai#snoweywrites#aizawa we agreed no more cats au#tw fighting mention#tw screaming mention#tw injury mention#tw food mention#tw anxiety mention#tw anxiety attack mention
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handmaid - 32
PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader
WARNINGS: age gap
A/N: i feel like i always make my couples dance but that’s because i think couple dancing is such an intimate thing that is so beautiful. anyway, the song they’re dancing to is this one (i absolutely adore the soundtrack of this movie, it makes my inner music geek happy), highly recommend listening to it when the time for the dancing comes. hope you enjoy this chapter x
NEXT CHAPTER
Y/N stared at herself in the mirror in her pyjama shorts and bra, hands moving over her stomach. She always felt somehow detached from her own self whenever placed in mob parties, whenever Gwen told her what to do, whenever someone told her how to act or who to be but somehow the slight idea that there was something growing in her, someone who was gonna need her for the first years of their lives, someone who would know her as her and not as the handmaid for the Forrest heiress, other than Sebastian’s hidden and disbelieving mistress, other than an orphan. That is enough, and that would forever be enough to make her fight just a little for the little baby who wasn’t even the size of a small blueberry yet.
She was so lost in her own reflection in the mirror she didn’t realise Sebastian had came in and was watching her from the door frame, small smile on his face from what he thought was a small act of vanity from the seemingly innocent woman. Coming up from behind her, he wrapped her arms around her waist, his hand slightly touching her stomach in a way that made her somehow escape the reality they both were in. In another life, Y/N would’ve probably come up with a quirky way to tell him she was pregnant and he would be happy, they would both paint the nursery in a neutral colour after arguing about what colour would be best, they would throw a baby shower and laugh at all the name suggestions and finally he would be by her side when the baby was born. But this wasn’t another life, this was life as it was and here she wasn’t even sure if she should tell him.
- I’m sorry about Gwen. I’ll be sure to have a word with her about that. - he kissed her temple. - I still think you should see a doctor, angel.
- I’m alright, Seb. - she turned her back to the mirror, no longer wanting to see that unobtainable image that would most likely haunt her whenever her mind wasn’t preoccupied. Sebastian sighed, knowing he couldn’t force her to see a doctor. - I’m fine, I promise.
- Take a break from all of this. Let’s ... I don’t know, let’s go upstate until the wedding. - he suggested, not wanting her to be subjected to anymore of Gwen’s annoyance or any other mob business. - I’m sure we can figure something out so we ca ...
- You don’t need to take care of me all the time. - she caressed his face, wondering if her baby would have his eyes. - Who takes care of you?
- I don’t need anyone to take care of me, I only need to take care of you. I am so sorry about Gwen, once again, she’s acting like a bridezilla lately.
- How was the tux fitting?
- It’s light blue as if we’re going to prom. - he chuckled yet Y/N couldn’t take the thought of the man she was in love with, the father of her unborn child, marrying the woman she’d known since they were both kids. Funny how she could’ve just listened to Dan and not go to his home when she could. It would’ve been so easy. - What’s going on inside your mind, angel?
- Just worries.
- You don’t need to worry, angel. I will never let anything harm you. - this was no empty promise on his part. If Sebastian could and he could, he would never allow any harm to come to her, any scratch to be made or any hair to be pulled. Y/N, however, for the very first time, was pessimistic believing that the harm had already been done. Before she could open her mouth to speak, the familiar rumble in her stomach made her whine before she rushed back to the bathroom yet despite how nauseous she was, she couldn’t throw up. Sebastian followed her, putting a hand on her back. - Maybe you need to eat something.
- I’m okay. - she turned around, her back leaning against the toilet while her head leaned against his shoulder. - Probably just a bug or a very bad cold.
- You wouldn’t have to guess if you agreed to see a doctor like you should, angel.
- Are you lecturing me, now? - she chuckled lightly, eyes moving up to stare at his playful expression, trying to cheer up the environment. - Maybe I should eat something.
- Come on. - he got up, taking her hand in his. They both exited her bedroom and Sebastian led her to the dinning room. It was mostly hotel employees setting the tables for the dinning hour but what looked more interesting was the big long table at the end of the room full of entrées that looked like little pieces of delectable heaven. Y/N stared at the food, wondering from where she wanted to begin as she felt like eating the whole array by herself. Instead, she decided to pick a mini sausage roll, grabbing it by a toothpick and placing it into her mouth, the taste exploding in what she thought was the most pleasurable thing she had experienced today.
Sebastian merely chuckled at her behaviour, finding charming how she always managed to look somehow interested in every single thing surrounding her, almost as if she hadn’t lost the childlike curiosity most of people lose as they enter the adulthood. She was just something else and all he wanted to do was just run away to somewhere quiet and get to wake up to her serene face for the rest of his life. Alas, not everything is what you want it to be.
His thoughts were interrupted by the dinner pianist starting to play something rather soft and subdued yet melodically enough to break through the mix of silence with employees running in and out preparing for what was to come. Noticing Y/N was distracted picking another entrée, he walked to what looked like a guy in his mid 50′s and slipped him a note before returning to her. Soon enough, the melody changed.
Before she could pick something else from the table, he took her hand in his, walking her to an empty spot near the piano. In advance to her asking what he was doing, Sebastian held her hand to his chest, his free hand leaning against the side of her waist, creating a closeness so close the tip of their shoes almost touched. His torso and legs moved side to side in an intimate move only for the two of them. Y/N closed her eyes but Sebastian kept his open, looking at her head under his chin and imagining how life could be if things were different. Maybe if things were different they could run away somewhere to France, get a little place in Paris which she liked so much, a little place with a balcony that gave view to the city of love where every night they would dance to the same melody for hours and hours and then he would propose to her some night. Then things would move along and they would have a little one, maybe a little girl with the same beautiful eyes Y/N had, a little girl with whom he would dance in the balcony while Y/N watched while leaning against the wall. No mob, no killing, no targets, no contractual relationships, just two regular people living a regular life. Regular was enough for him.
- This is a very sad song. - she looked up to him, breaking through the silence.
- Sad slow songs are very beautiful.
- Doesn’t it make you sad? - she leaned her head against his chest, listening to his slow heart beat.
- My mother used to play the piano constantly, it reminds me of her.
- Do you miss her?
- I barely remember her, she and my father divorced pretty early. He got custody but whenever I hear slow piano music, it always reminds me of her. She was a good woman.
- She raised a good man. - Y/N’s free hand came up to caress his cheek, a soft dainty dreamingly look on her face. - You’re a good man, Sebastian.
- Do you even believe people are anything other than good? - he questioned, looking at her lovingly while the music put them but on a little dazed bubble which none of them really wanted to leave.
- I believe everyone can be good yet not everyone chooses to. Kindness is achievable for everyone.
- How do you not get hardened by this life? Not to sound rude but you were born and raised by the mob, you know what we do.
- I get to chose who I am. Besides, it isn’t like Mr. Forrest let me or Gwen anywhere near the action. We were constantly in boarding school.
- Well... - the music changed and he looked around as the people started to come in for dinner. Before anyone could see the two of them, he stepped away from her, leaving her missing his touch and him still feeling her ghost strokes on his face. Sebastian was much too smart to know that if anyone discovered they were close, she would be in much more trouble than he would be. In all honesty, he didn’t think there would be any consequences for him, however, there surely would be some for her.
They were once again apart and the next days only seemed to worsen for Y/N. Between listening to Gwen complain about how the cake wasn’t right or how the napkins weren’t the right shade of periwinkle, she’d spend her free time constantly tired and wanting to sleep or feeling nauseous. Nevertheless, the much dreaded day came and Gwen had woke her up at an unfair 4 AM in the morning to get her hair and makeup “just right” as she said. However, it was rather hard to remain awake when Y/N face was constantly being massaged by very soft face brushes.
- Did you hear about Vanessa? - Gwen commented as her hair was pulled into rollers. - You know Vanessa, she went with us to university. She was supposed to be here but you will not believe it, she got knocked up.
- I need to congratulate her.
- No way, she’s knocked up by Joe, you know, dad’s friend’s son. Imagine being pregnant from a married guy, as if being pregnant wasn’t bad enough.
- Yeah, terrible. - she looked to the side as more makeup was applied to her face. - Would it be that bad though?
- Dad always said there’s only one thing worse than a mistress, a pregnant one. All that designer clothing she has, not gonna fit anymore. Oh god and breast feeding? Ugh, this is why I don’t want kids.
- Yeah ...
Sometimes you have to pull yourself out of dreamland and make a choice. No matter how hard it is.
It was time for her to make her own.
tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld @captainchrisstan @lookiamtrying @sarge-barnes-sir @stuffforreferences @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen @nsfwsebbie @strangerliaa @emzd34 @everything-is-awesomesauce @dreams-in-blxck @krismeunicornbaobei
#sebastian stan#sebastian stan/reader#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x y/n#sebastian stan/y/n#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan/you#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan drabble#sebastian stan fanfic#sebastian stan mob#mob boss!sebastian stan#mobster!sebastian stan#mafia boss!sebastian stan#mafia!sebastian stan#sebastian stan au
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Blended
Summary: Mason becomes a big brother.
A/N: Time to meet our newest member!
Word Count: 3.2k
And away, and away we go!
__
When Vanessa found out she was pregnant, she had exactly three thoughts. One, Finn was going to freak out. Two, Ashton was going to break things off with her. And three, Mason was going to freak out. Thankfully, Finn hadn’t freaked out as much as she thought. And more thankfully still, she was dead wrong about thought two, which made preparing to deal with the fallout of thought three slightly more bearable.
Finn and Vanessa’s main concern, besides her and the baby being healthy, was dealing with how they were going to get Mason used to the idea of becoming a big brother, and what that would mean. Which meant, they had to decide what it would mean for them.
“Are we gonna give up the second apartment?” Vanessa asked. “Because the baby’s not going to be able to be away from me for a while. But I’m not gonna keep your kid from you, or keep flip-flopping across the hall with the baby every week.”
“No, I’ll stay full time in the other apartment and I’ll just come over.”
“So you would just use the apartment to sleep basically? That’s just a waste of money, Finn. And plus with two kids, we’re gonna need something bigger than this apartment. We always said we were gonna get something bigger.”
“Back when we still lived together, yeah.”
“Aw, you don’t wanna live with me, again? C’mon, I’m a great roommate.”
Finn rolled his eyes playfully. “Fine. Say we give up both apartments and move into a three-bedroom. Mason gets a room, you and baby get a room, I get a room. What happens after that? You share a room with the baby forever? We become the roommate parents raising their kids under the same roof? How’s Ashton gonna handle that one? ‘Hey, remember how I told you I was pregnant with my ex’s kid and you didn’t run when you had the chance? Yeah, we’re getting a new place together, but it’s cool cuz we’re just gonna be roomies?’ C’mon, Ness, this is insane. It might just be best if you stay with Mase and the baby, and then on my weeks, I’ll take Mase to the other apartment.”
Vanessa rubbed at the sides of her forehead. “I dunno, Finn. I really don’t. We don’t know how Mase is gonna react to the baby, much less react to potentially sleeping in a strange place every other week.”
“You mean the same way he’d react to sleeping in a strange place if we all moved?”
“Okay, but at least in a new place, he’d have a bedroom like he does now. And that bedroom wouldn’t change.”
“Well, we don’t have to figure this out right this second. Let’s just focus on getting Mason to understand the news, and we’ll go from there.”
~~~
Vanessa recounted her and Finn’s conversation to Ashton. “And I understand Finn’s concern with the idea of all moving into a new place. But, it just seems easier for us all if we’re under the same roof once the baby comes, and we can deal with the custody details later when the baby gets a little older. Get another apartment, and trade off being there and at the house like we do now.”
“So, you’re moving back in with Finn?” Ashton asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No! Maybe… I dunno… I just don’t want to keep Finn or Mason away from the baby for the sake of keeping the schedule we have now. That’s not fair to either of them, especially Finn. I mean, I know logically that him missing those first few months isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. Like eventually the baby will be old enough to be with him and Mason. But…”
“I know,” Ashton nodded. “It’s confusing and frustrating. And you just want to do best for your family.”
“Without upsetting you in the process,” she added.
“Why would I be upset?”
“You wouldn’t care if Finn and I potentially ended up living together again?”
“I mean, yeah I’d care. But I’m not gonna be upset about it. Although if it ends up with you guys getting back together, then I’ll get upset. But only because I lost out on an amazing girl.”
She smiled gratefully up at the man she’d come to know quite well in their two months of dating “Ash…”
He chuckled and wrapped her in a hug. “When are you gonna realize that I’m not going anywhere?”
~~~
When Vanessa met up with Finn that Saturday night for dinner, they broke the news to their son.
“Mase,” Finn started, getting the boy’s attention. “Momma and I have a surprise for you.”
“Momma?” Mason asked, looking at Vanessa.
“Yeah,” she smiled softly at him. “You’re gonna be a big brother, sweet boy.”
Mason looked at her like his mom had lost her damn mind. That wild expression of “uh, come again?” turned on Finn. “Daddy?”
Finn nodded. “Yeah, there’s a baby in Momma’s tummy.”
“Momma?” Mason said in a way that really meant, “That’s nice… I think?”
“Yeah, baby,” she told him, rubbing her hand across her stomach. “Like you,” She reached out a finger to peck Mason’s nose.
“Momma…” Mason repeated.
“And Daddy,” Vanessa said, pointing at Finn. “And Mason,” she pointed at Mason. “And baby,” she finished, running her hand over her abdomen for a second time.
Mason nodded slowly. If you say so…
~~~
It took Mason going with them to an ultrasound appointment to fully understand just what his parents had meant by him becoming a big brother. “Do you see the baby?” Vanessa asked Mason as the ultrasound technician waved the wand across Vanessa’s stomach. On the little monitor Finn could make out what looked to be the hand of his second child.
“Look, right there, bud,” Finn said in amazement, pointing out what he could see of the baby out to his son.
“Daddy…” Mason whispered in awe.
“Yeah, that’s your little brother or sister.”
“Momma.”
~~~
At the end of Vanessa’s second trimester, her, Ashton, and Finn all sat down to discuss the living situation once more.
“Vanessa, just stay here in the apartment. Put the baby in the bedroom with you like we did when Mason was smaller,” Finn told her. “I’ll be fine in the one bedroom.”
“And do what with Mason? Have him spend a week sleeping in bed with you there, then turn around and have him sleep alone in his room here? Do you remember how long it took us for him to start sleeping on his own the first time around?”
“No! The whole point of one of us leaving to the other apartment was so that he didn’t have to.”
“So what are you gonna do? Come over every day when it’s your week?”
“And leave you stuck at home all day with a newborn and Mason when it’s not? No, I’ll be over every day, regardless of what week it is.”
“Finn, we’re having the same argument again. There’s no point in wasting money on the spare apartment if you’re just using it to sleep.”
“How is it any different from the way it’s getting used now?”
“The difference is about 15 meals and 60 hours.”
“You would have done the math…” Finn rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“You’re the father of my children… you’re the father of my children…” Vanessa reminded herself. Sometimes she really wanted to throttle Finn.
“Ness. I don’t want to disrupt Mason’s life anymore than we already have. And I want to make this as easy on your end as possible. But, do you really think us getting a whole new place, and living under the same roof is better than me being slightly inconvenienced by having to wander 50 feet to sleep every night?”
“Yes, I do. We’re gonna need to move eventually regardless. This place is already bursting at the seams with all of Mason’s things. Do you remember how many things babies have?”
“You’re right…” Finn admitted. “We’re having the same fight again. If we stay here, you’re mad money’s being wasted on a second apartment you don’t think we need. If we get the bigger place we eventually need, but can go without for now, we’re stuck looking for an apartment again in six months. And then there’s the readjusting Mason to one of us being gone after being under the same roof just long enough for it to become normal to him again. And I’m sure Ash here isn’t exactly too keen on the idea of us living together again.”
“So, we look for a new apartment in six months. We keep reminding Mason that our living together is temporary, so the readjustment goes smoother.”
“This whole situation is a shit show, Ness…”
“Can I suggest something?” Ashton asked, tired of watching the parents bicker over the same details over and over.
Finn opened his mouth to tell Ashton just where he could put his suggestion, but quickly closed it under Vanessa’s fiery glare. “Sure…” Finn said in a clipped tone.
“Get the three bedroom so you have the space you’re gonna need. Live there, together, until you think the baby’s old enough to be away from Nessa every other week. Then, instead of finding another apartment, and splitting your time and resources between 2 places, Nessa moves in with me. I can start turning one of the spare bedrooms I have into a room for Mason, and we can get him used to it at the same time as getting him used to the new house. That way, when you two live apart again, it’s less of a shock because he’ll already be used to my place.”
Finn brought a finger to his lips in thought. “T-that actually might work.”
Vanessa looked at Ashton, her mouth hanging open. “Did you just ask me to move in with you?”
Ashton’s hazel eyes danced as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
~~~
While the hunt for Finn’s new home started, Ashton and Vanessa spent the better part of a weekend transforming one of Ashton’s bedrooms into Mason’s new room. And the next time she had the boy, she told him she had a surprise for him.
“Sweet boy, do you wanna go sleep at Papa’s house?!” she asked brightly.
“Papa!” Mason shrieked, jumping up and down while nodding his head.
“Yeah? Alright, let’s get ready to go see Papa.”
A half hour later, she was parking in Ashton’s driveway and helping Mason out of the car. “Papa!” Mason screeched as he saw Ashton walking towards them.
“Mase!” Ashton answered, crouching down for Mason to touch his forehead against Ashton’s chest. “You ready for a sleepover at Papa’s?”
“Papa,” Mason nodded, grabbing onto Ashton’s hand as Ashton stood back up.
“Sorry it took so long to get here,” Vanessa said, kissing Ashton’s cheek. “But it’s a little hard to get him ready when every question is answered with ‘Papa!’ and dancing.”
“Don’t worry about it, baby. Glad you guys are here.”
“Oh! Can you show him around for a bit? I wanna put something in his room.”
“Course, c’mon Mase, let’s go see if Papa’s got any cookies. You want a cookie?”
“Just one!” Vanessa warned, already picturing finding them both in the kitchen halfway through a sleeve of Oreos.
“Say, ‘yeah, okay, Momma.’” Ashton winked devilishly over his shoulder.
“Momma,” Mason laughed.
Vanessa shook her head as she turned to go up the staircase towards the bedrooms. In Mason’s room, she set his bag down, rummaging through it for the blanket she had bought the previous week. She shook out the blanket to unfold it with a sharp snap, before lifting up the mattress of the toddler bed to pull it on and up, smoothing it into place.
“And when you come to stay with Momma and Papa, this’ll be your room!” Ashton’s voice said from the doorway, holding Mason on his hip. “That’s a weird looking sheet,” Ashton told her, nodding at the blanket on Mason’s bed.
“It’s not a sheet. It’s a compression blanket,” Vanessa said. “It works the way a weighted blanket would, just without the heaviness of it. Keeps him from sweating on hot nights. And on nights where it’s cooler, we add a regular blanket.”
“Oh, shit, that’s actually really cool.”
“Yeah. Do you wanna see your room, sweet boy?” she asked Mason.
Mason nodded so Ashton placed him on his feet. The two and a half year old wandered slowly about the room, taking it all in. “So, now when you come to Papa’s, you’ll have your room,” Vanessa explained.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, just like your room at Daddy’s.”
“Papa.”
“Yep. This is Mason’s room at Papa’s. All yours.”
“‘Ason…”
Vanessa choked. “W-what was that, sweet boy?”
Mason pointed at her. “Momma.” His finger moved to Ashton, “Papa.” His finger moved again to point in the general direction of outside, “Daddy.” And finally, he pointed at himself, “‘Ason.”
“That’s right!” Ashton cheered while Vanessa started to weep. “You are Mason!”
“Momma…” Mason said sadly.
“Oh, I’m not sad, sweet boy. I’m happy,” she reassured him with a big smile, tears streaming down her face. “You know who everybody is. Good job!”
~~~
With Vanessa actively keeping Mason at Ashton’s to get him used to being there, Finn found a house one week. Then, a week later when Vanessa had Mason again, Ashton helped Finn move.
“You know, man, I’ve been thinking,” Finn started as both men sat on the couch, catching their breath.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And I think Nessa and the baby should just stay with you. I’ll keep rotating Mase with her to keep his schedule. And I’ll stop by every day after work to bond with the baby, and help out. I mean, if that works for you guys.”
Ashton blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s really between you and Nessa how you want to handle things. But yeah.”
“I understand why she thought her and I living together would be a good idea. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s keeping me or Mason away from the baby. But that’s not what’s happening. Like I don’t feel that way. I saw how Mason was as a baby, I know as the guy I’m pretty useless. The only thing I can really do is just to be over as much as I can to help out, and keep Mason on his routine. Plus, she has you, so I’m kinda deadweight anyway.”
“You’re not deadweight, mate. This kid is just as much yours as Mason is. And Nessa wants you around.”
“And I will be,” Finn promised.
“Yeah, I know. And I get what you’re saying about not wanting to fuck with Mase’s head. And I also get what you’re not saying. But mate, I’m not concerned at all about you and Nessa. Like you have kids together. The day you’re not around is the day I kick your ass for leaving your awesome kids.”
“Your worst case scenario is me leaving my kids, but not her leaving you?”
Ashton raised his hands in surrender and laughed. “You know as well as I do no one is ever gonna be what that woman deserves.”
“Yeah, but you come pretty fuckin close. Glad you found her.”
“Glad you let her go.”
~~~
“What are we gonna name you?” Vanessa asked her baby bump. Ashton and Finn were upstairs putting the finishing touches on the nursery, having spent the better part of their weekend getting it ready. So all that was left to do was pick a name and wait. And eventually get the third bedroom at Finn’s situated, but they still had time for that.
“‘Ason,” Mason said, his hand patting where his little brother or sister was.
“No, you’re Mason, silly boy. What are we gonna call the baby?”
Mason pursed his lips in thought. Hmm… “Baie,” he said.
Vanessa quirked an eyebrow. At this point she was convinced her son knew plenty of words, he just refused to speak any. “We can’t name the baby, ‘baby,’ sweet boy.”
He shook his head. “Bai- E!” he tried again.
“Bailey? You wanna name the baby, Bailey?”
“Baie!” Mason nodded, rubbing her tummy. “Baie, Baie, Baie.”
“I think that sounds perfect, sweet boy.”
The decision on a name couldn’t have come at a better time because it seemed to Vanessa like all she did was blink and Bailey was ready to make their arrival, even though the calendar claimed it had been another month.
She cradled the soft pink bundle to her chest. “Hi, my sweet girl,” she sang.
“She’s so pretty,” Ashton admired, thinking just how amazing Vanessa was and how lucky he was to be part of her world.
“Do you wanna hold her?”
“Nah, I’ll wait for Finn to get back with Mason. He should get to hold Bailey before I do.”
“You want kids of your own, don’t you?”
Ashton shook his head, half-lying. “I’m good with what I have.”
“You can be good with what you have and still want more.”
“Yeah. I’d love to biologically be a dad. And I’d love for you to be the mom because I love you and already know you’d do a fantastic job at it. But you’ve got your hands full. So right now all I want is everything I already have.”
“But look how tiny and cute she is,” she pleaded, holding up Bailey so Ashton could see the baby better.
Ashton chuckled, “I dunno how you can have baby fever after just giving birth.”
“Oh, she never told you that she wants like a bajillion kids?” Finn asked as he walked into the room, holding onto Mason’s hand.
“I don’t want like a bajillion. I want exactly a bajillion.”
Both of the men snorted with laughter. “Alright, Finn. Come hold your daughter and let me snuggle my sweet boy. You wanna come sit with Momma, Mase?”
“Momma,” Mason said in a barely audible whisper.
“Why are we so quiet?” Vanessa whispered at Finn as they traded pink bundle for small toddler.
“I didn’t want him screaming so I said we had to use inside voices and he overcompensated because it’s Mase,” Finn whispered back. “Ash, did you get a chance to hold her yet?”
“Nah, but don’t worry about it. Get your time in.”
“‘Ason. Momma. Papa. Daddy. Baie,” Mason whispered to himself on repeat while pointing at everyone as he said their name.
“Yes, good job, sweet boy,” Vanessa praised after every run through. “Do you want to hold your sister?” she asked after his fourth go round.
“Baie,” he nodded.
“Okay, come sit with us, Mase.” Ashton patted the space next to him on the windowsill seat where him and Finn were.
“Here, use this,” Vanessa told them, handing over the boppy.
Ashton helped Mason get settled on the seat before grabbing the boppy and putting it snugly on the boy’s lap. “Okay, remember be gentle, and quiet with Bailey,” Finn reminded Mason as he lowered Bailey onto the boppy. “Loud noises scare her, too.”
“Baie,” Mason whispered, brushing his hand softly across Bailey’s forehead. The three adults watched in tearful awe as Mason introduced his baby sister to their little world. “Baie. ‘Ason. Momma, Papa. Daddy.”
__
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#blended#ashton irwin#ashton irwin fic#ashton&vanessa#ash&mase#in the words of @karajaynetoday: in this house we stan ashton&vanessa and mase is a little legend#we also stan finn being a good daddy. but we are team papa the whole way#5sos#galcal irwin
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Ever have a family member that you didn't like? so much so that if they weren't related to you, you would never even consider being their friend? I have one, and that's my little sister. Sad isn't it? It wasn't always this way.
Before I get into why we don't speak, I'm not coming from a place of judgement. I'm nobody to judge, which she doesn't understand. She thinks I judge her, but in all honesty she has made poor Choices and she doesn't take accountability. I decided to set boundaries with her and that makes me "judgy" apparently.
Let's call her Rain. Rain is 5 years younger than me, so that makes her 32. She's the baby of the family and has really taken that title to the next level. This girl has always been the "crazy" one, partying a lot, following bands on tour in Mexico, boy crazy ... always getting her way. That's ok too, as long as she was always being safe. I understood that when she was 18, 19 ... 20. Rain talks a lot of shit for someone who doesn't have their shit together, and I swear it comes back to her each time. Whatever she was talking shit on happens to her.
Anyway, I can go on and on about her crazy childhood and teen years, I could probably write a book about it, time I dont have right now though. I'm just going to jump forward a bit.
2012. She went through a divorce a few years ago from the father of her kids. Very ugly, bitter divorce. Rain has 2 kids, a girl who's 10 and a boy who's 6. Rain got pregnant by a one night stand And they were forced to get married by his parents, they are very religious and felt it was the right thing. I didnt agree with that, but she went ahead and did it. They tried to make the marriage work, they got pregnant again with the boy, hoping it would help them. Rain was fed up though, she hated her life, she wanted to go out and party, be with her friends who were living their lives, but she couldn't. She hated it. She used to live next door to me, we lived in a small apartment in LA and when the neighbors moved we told them to apply for it and they got it. They lived there for about a year until one day Rain decided to leave. She took her kids and they moved in with my mom. Her husband was beside himself, he asked me for advice. I didnt know the ins and outs of the relationship, things are always different behind closed doors right ? She claimed that he beat her, he controlled her, abused her. He claimed she would sneak out to go party and didnt want to care for the kids. A lot of back and forth ... very different stories. So, he stayed in the apartment for about another year before he gave up and filed for divorce. He hoped she would come back, but she was very happy living her new life. She was living rent free and was able to go out, since our mom was home and able to watch the kids. Ok, cool.
Divorce was done and she was free. She started dating, sleeping around ... no judgement, she was single. As long as she was safe. BUT, we found out she moved some guy into my moms condo without my mom knowing. My mom works and travels alot, so it's easy for this to happen. But when my mom found out, she was upset, but didn't do anything about it. I was mad only because she has a little girl and she didn't really know this guy. Ya know? Plus the kids didn't have their own rooms, they slept with her. It was just weird for me. Anyway, couple years later they broke up and he moved out. Then another guy, and another one ... I didn't like the fact that her kids met all these new guys, or that she moved them in. It's like she cant be without a man.
Ex husband fought for 50/50 custody (thank God) and had them on the weekend. Every weekend. Also, ex husband got remarried but Rain doesn't get along with new wife. I wonder why to be honest, I met her and she's nice. I guess it's a territorial thing ? The kids love their stepmom, so that's all that matters.
Ok, now we are in 2018. I'm pregnant with Olivia. We had a falling out for a few months because she stole 2k from our mom. Not cool. They have the same name, so it was easy for her. So I hadn't spoken to her but the day I gave birth she showed up at the hospital. We spoke as if we were never in an argument. It's weird how sisters can do that, right ? I let it go, if mom didn't care why should I. After having Olivia my mom wanted me to stay at her place for 2 weeks so she could help me while I recovered. So, we moved in right after I got out of the hospital. First couple of days were nice, rain was there and was helping with the baby. Her kids were ecstatic to have us there, Bella was having a blast. I had heard of a new boyfriend that she had, but I hadn't yet met. She wanted to take it slow and not introduce him yet. I understand since all the rest were douchbag.
Rain received sad news about an ex boyfriend from high school who had been killed in a hit and run. I remember him, he was the sweetest. They had remained friends over the years so she was devastated. She planned to attend the funeral but didn't want to take her kids. Since I was staying there I offered to watch the kids, I didnt want them to have to go to the funeral.
Side note: I rarely offer to help with her kids because she never shows up the time she says. Also, I used to pick up the kids from school and I had to take them to my place until she got home, usually late and I had to help with homework and dinner. It was hard for us sometimes as we had things to do and we had to take her kids with us. However her kids love us, they say we are the parents they wish they had.
Ok, back to the story. She goes to the funeral.
Day 1: A few hours go by and it's getting later and later. I'm about 5 days post partum, so naturally I'm exhausted. Mom is at work, so we're just at my moms place hanging out. I text her, no response. I text again, no response. I'm starting to worry. I put all the kids to bed and assure the kids they'll see their mom in the morning. Around midnight my phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answered right away since I was worried about rain. It's one of rains old friend from high school who attended the funeral. He says to me that Rain had a lot to drink and was not able to get home. He says to me that she's ok, it was a rough day for all of them and he would bring her home in the morning. I had no choice, so I agreed and we hung up.
(Come to find out later that was her boyfriend on the line, pretending to be a friend from HS, she had left the funeral hours ago)
Day 2: We wake up and we get the kids ready for school. I'm still trying to get used to the new baby while juggling breakfast for the kids. Her kids kept asking about mom, so I told them she was at her best friend's house because it got late. Eli drove all the kids and then left for work. I'm home all day at my moms, had a few visitors wanting to see the baby. No word from Rain yet. No word from Rain all day. Eli picks up all the kids after school and brings them home. We make dinner and play, while attempting to call and text Rain for an answer. Mom is calling Rain leaving voicemails telling her to get her ass home. No call backs and no reply. We all go to bed. Around 2 am I heard my bedroom door open but it was dark and I could not see, I heard keys and the front door close. It took me a minute to get up, post csection, it's hard. Who was here?
Day 3: woke up, its daylight and bright in the house. I go to the kids room, maybe Rain showed up last night, maybe shes asleep. I walk in to see the kids asleep, but no Rain. I walk into her closet and I see stuff has been taken, shoes and clothes. I look for a toothbrush and it's gone. Perfumes, gone. Hmmm did Rain come last night to get her stuff ? I text Rain, now I'm mad. I'm frantically texting her that she better reply and I threaten to call ex husband. Oh? Guess what ? I got a reply. Interesting.
She texted something along the lines of: hey, its Rain. Sorry I haven't texted you. I'm having a rough time with S death. I need some time. I feel so lost. I'm with J at his place (J is her new boyfriend) . Are you ok to watch the kids, I'll be back. I'll text you.
My response: uh, well yea I mean I guess bit what should I tell them ? When are you coming back? Look, I know this is rough so I'll hang on to them until tomorrow, cool ?
I got no response after that, but at least I know she was ok. I updated mom and middle sister and we all felt better but were still shocked about how inconsiderate she was being.
Day 4: no text or phone call at all. We get the kids to school, pick them up, get homework done. Kids shower and go to bed. Her daughter who was maybe 7 or 8 at the time was worried. She was texting her too, I read her messages : mom, please come home. Where are you ?
I was so mad at this point. Her daughter was so worried and slept at the foot of the bed every night waiting for her mom. So Infuriating. I'm still exhausted and in pain.
I get a call from cousin in Florida, at around 10 pm which his time was 1am. He calls me and asks me what's going on? I had not yet told him what was happening so I was wondering what he was referring to. Rain had just called him. She was drunk out of her mind in DTLA in some bar, she was crying and yelling about how she Hates her life, how she Hates being a mom and Hates everything. Cousin told her to calm down and that he would call me to go pick her up in DTLA. We called her back on three way but cousin told me to be quiet. I listened to that mess for 30 minutes before I had to hang up. She was yelling and cussing, she told him NOT to tell me because I'm judgy ass bitch, wanna be perfect mom and I'll talk shit to her.
At this point, I'm over her. How can she do this to her kids? To me ? I'm over here, still freaking bleeding after my delivery, making sure her kids are safe and fed and loved. While she's out partying ? At bars ? I called cousin back and told him that I will not go get her in DTLA.
Day 5: I think this was a Thursday now, we had picked up the kids from school and went to shakeys pizza for dinner. No texts or calls from Rain all day. I was considering calling ex husband since the weekend was getting close. But, I remembered that he lost his weekend privileges for hitting the little boy. I didn't know what to do at this point.
Side note: little boy has behavior issues, he's been held back from kindergarten for his behavior and bad grades. He spit in his step moms face and ex husband hit him with a belt that left a mark. Rain took him to court to get full custody. He didnt lose the kids however, he had to attend parenting and anger management classes, which he did and his case was dismissed.
Day 6: no word yet. I texted her boyfriend and I told him to bring her home. I told him she has worried children. I asked him if he knew she has 2 kids at home. Want to know what his reply was?
Thank you for your concern.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN !!! ??? Really?? A big fat Fuck You. I think at this point my blood pressure rose, I got heated and my neck started to pound. I cried out of frustration and sadness for my niece and nephew. I thought, what if I adopt them ? I thought about bringing them with me to AZ? Ex husband would fight me for them though. I called friends for advice. I asked middle sister for guidance. Everyone told me to report her to child protection services. But I couldn't because of the fear they would take the kids to a foster home. At that time I couldn't take them to my place. It was small and would not meet criteria for 2 extra kids. Nobody could take them if we needed. I prayed about it.
I had my finger in the phone ready to call CPS, but I couldn't do it. My mom begged me not to she begged me to continue to help with the kids until Rain got home. She told me we needed to help her, she was not ok. I didnt call them. I couldn't. I love those kids. I couldn't put them through that.
I texted Rain in one final attempt. I told her she needed to pick up her kids from school and if she did not then I was going to report her. No answer.
Turns out I didnt have to. Daughter spoke to a counselor at school and the school reported it. When Eli went to pick up the kids they did not release them to him, CPS was there. They called me shortly after and asked me what was going on. I explained to them. They called ex husband but since he couldn't take them at the time due to court restrictions they asked his parents to take them. His parents home did not meet criteria and they were taken to a foster care for the night.
I cannot begin to tell you how much I cried that night. I cried so hard. I was so mad. I was infuriated. How can she do this to them ? Did I fail them ? They must have been so scared. I had my new baby in my arms, breastfeeding and crying for those kids when I should have been enjoying every second with Olivia. I went home that night. I couldn't stay at my moms anymore.
Day 7: I wake up in a fog, still upset from the night before. I check my phone and I had a missed call from middle sister. I called her back and she tells me Rain was able to get her kids back last night from CPS and she is at home. How did that happen I ask ? Middle sister said that she thought I called CPS last night and told them it was all a misunderstanding and I was just upset about babysitting for a few hours.
What? I didn't call ...
Someone impersonated me. She had someone call pretending it was me ... that really scared me.
I called my mom and she said yes, Rain has the kids. CPS apparently asked my mom if this was true that Rain had been gone only for a few hours and my mom totally covered for her.
My mom reason behind it was because she doesn't want the kids to go to a foster home.
I didnt speak to my mom for 2 months after that call.
A couple days after that I received a text from Rain and she basically told me off and told me that she can't believe I reported her. I told to her that I did not make the call...but I should have. We completely blocked each other from everything. She told everyone we know, friends and relatives that I reported her. That's fine, I'll take it.
Get this though, this girl can't get it together to save her life. She has now lost custody of the kids to ex husband. After so much drama, her showing up late for drop offs and pick ups, showing up drunk, starting fights with new wife, picking kids up late from school ... ex husband documented everything and he got a video of her drunk at pick up. The kids now live with him in a house and are doing so well. They're so happy. They chose to live with dad. Oh and the things the kids told the judge, so sad. Apparently she doesn't even cook for them. She's allowed visitation every other weekend. She still lives with my mom, has NO job, no goals... she just parties and hangs out with that douch.
My mom was out of town when this court meeting happened and Rain lost the kids, so nobody actually heard why she lost them. Apparently she told mom that it was because of me, that the judge said MY NAME and that I wrote a letter or some bullshit. And my mom question me about it. First of all, so not true, they cant just use my name and say things without me being there, seriously. I wonder about my mom sometimes.
Ex husband allows me to talk to the kids whenever I want. He was the only person who thanked me for keeping his kids safe and loved. And yes he did ask me for help in taking the kids from my sister, but I said no. I decided to stay out of that.
That is something that I will never ever forgive my sister for. What she put me though, my family... and what she put her kids through. I'm not a perfect mom, not at all, but you just dont do that. And although I see her around at gatherings or holidays, we dont speak. She's not there, I completely ignore her. I go about my time with the family. I have a very strong set boundary with her and she knows it.
She knows that I didnt report her but she needs someone to blame. She cant accept her fault, but she knows. We know.
#documentary#sisters#sister#familyiseverything#familyblog#family#momlifebestlife#momlifebelike#momlifeuncensored#momlifeisthebestlife#mombod#mombloglove#momblog#momblr#momblogger#parentblr#parentingblog#parenthood#parenting#shittypeople#life#my life#custody#kids#divorce
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Mark Harmon and His Family Enjoy Staying out of the Hollywood Spotlight: "It's Who We Are" (EXCLUSIVE)
May 30, 2018 8:00 am By Closer Staff
On NCIS, no case ever stumps naval investigator Leroy "Jethro" Gibbs, but in real life, Mark Harmon, 66, has long been befuddled by one mystery: fame. "My parents kept things real — I had no idea they were famous," says the son of sportscaster Tom Harmon and actress Elyse Knox. "In fact, it didn’t hit me until one day when I was riding in the car with my father in Ann Arbor, MI — I was maybe eight and could barely see above the dashboard — and we stopped at a crosswalk. Suddenly, we were surrounded by people who recognized my dad and were really thrilled to see him. I remember looking at this man I thought I knew so well and thinking, Who are you?"
Millions of people ask the same question about Mark to this day. He’s the star of TV’s No. 1 drama yet he maintains an intense sense of privacy. He’s raised Sean, 30, and Ty, 25 — his sons with wife Pam Dawber, 66, with whom he recently renewed his vows in a quiet backyard ceremony — to keep similarly low profiles. "It’s not even a choice. It’s who we are," Mark explains. "We stay home. A lot. I’m not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that, either."
Interviews with Mark as well as his family members, friends, and co-workers reveal a portrait of a consummate professional who values his home life above all else — and keeps it separate from his career, even during periods of severe personal and professional stress. "Mark is a shining example of the way it should be done," NCIS co-star Sean Murray exclusively tells Closer. "He’s incredibly grounded, works hard, and knows that family counts most."
Those are lessons Mark learned early in life. "My father wanted me to be self-motivated," he recalls. "I was taught the only way to go about getting something was with everything you had." That he did, becoming a football star for UCLA and working as a roofer, carpenter, and shoe salesman before getting into acting at the urging of Ozzie Nelson, his sister Kristin’s father-in-law (she’d wed Ozzie and Harriet’s son, Ricky, in 1963).
"I’d never been on a set before," Mark says of his 1973 acting debut on the Nelson family’s sitcom Ozzie’s Girls. "My character comes to the door in a gorilla outfit, and I got to say, 'My name’s Harry King Kong. Which way to the Empire State Building?'"
It was an inauspicious start, and the situation didn’t improve as Mark toiled in short-lived shows like the rescue drama 240-Robert (he played Deputy Dwayne "Thib" Thibideau) and the overheated soap Flamingo Road. He romanced Road co-star Cristina Raines for four years, but they split in 1984. "She will always be a very special lady to me," he said.
But Mark was looking for true love. "When I marry, I want it to be everything this town says it can’t be," he boldly declared in 1986. "I’m not into catting around." He met his match in Pam, who was introduced to him at a party thrown by a mutual friend. She had made a list of qualities she was seeking in a man — strength, intelligence, independence, sensitivity, sensuousness, warmth, and a sense of humor — and Mark ticked off every box. They wed in 1987, and Sean and Ty came along soon afterward.
While Pam had enjoyed success on the small screen with the sitcoms Mork & Mindy and My Sister Sam, she put her career aside to raise the kids. "I had children and it was like, 'I’m not going to chase this fame thing,'" Pam says. "I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and doughnuts. And I was very happy to do it."
Meanwhile, Mark’s career was really starting to cook with his breakout role as a heartthrob plastic surgeon on the critically worshipped hospital drama St. Elsewhere. But after three seasons, he felt lost in the teeming ensemble. "Mark’s a leading man, so I could understand his frustration," producer Tom Fontana tells Closer. "After all, he was a quarterback." In a groundbreaking plot twist, his heterosexual character contracted AIDS and left the show, but there were no hard feelings. "He did a great job with a challenging storyline," says Fontana. "We’ve stayed friends."
Trouble brewed on the home front, however: Kristin had gotten mixed up with drugs during her marriage to Ricky, and after the rocker died in a 1985 plane crash, she went off the deep end. Mark engaged in legal wrangling to win custody of her son, Sam, then 12, and convinced Kristin to enter rehab. "Nobody but my brother could have talked me into this, because I trusted him," Kristin said. Ultimately, Mark dropped his bid for custody and was granted visitation and Sam remained close to his mom until her death in April at age 72 from a sudden heart attack.
Mark and Pam have steered Sean and Ty clear of drugs and other temptations by being hands-on parents. That was another bit of hard-won wisdom for Mark. "I was in the jungles of New Guinea making a not-very-good movie [Till There Was You] when my firstborn took his first steps," he says. "No job is worth missing life’s most important moments."
He’s since served as a sterling role model to his sons, proving himself a real-life hero by saving two teens trapped in a wrecked Jeep near his LA home in 1996. Mark smashed the windshield with a sledgehammer and extracted the youths before their vehicle exploded. "I owe everything to him," said one of the survivors. "I have no doubt I wouldn’t be alive."
Mark’s career hit a lull in the 90s, but a guest shot on The West Wing put him back on the TV map, and in 2003 along came NCIS. The show had a rocky launch, as Mark clashed with creator Donald Bellisario over scripts arriving late and a zoo-like atmosphere on the set. Bellisario left and was replaced by Gary Glasberg, who became one of Mark’s closest friends and ran a tight operation, but Glasberg tragically died in his sleep at 50 in 2016. "That hit Mark very, very hard," an insider tells Closer.
Still, Mark righted the ship and continues to weather on-set storms, like co-star Pauley Perrette’s controversial recent departure amid allegations that Mark’s dog bit a crew member. "Mark’s very sensitive to the people around him," co-star Rocky Carroll assures Closer. "The reason it’s such a great working atmosphere is he wouldn’t have it any other way. You can just tell the kind of upbringing he had."
Mark leads by quiet example, à la Gibbs. "Like his character, he’s a functional mute," jokes Michael Weatherly, who left NCIS to star in his own CBS hit, Bull, in 2016. "Mark is a very old-fashioned, old-school gentleman, and I’ve learned a great deal at his side."
When fans recognize Mark — like they did his dad all those years ago in Ann Arbor — he remains the ultimate gent. "It’s hard to walk through airports even in the most out-of-the-way places without being surrounded by people who love the show — and that’s nothing to complain about," he says. "I’ve done TV shows where I walk through airports apologizing." No doubt he handled that with equal grace.
For more on Mark Harmon, pick up the new issue of Closer Weekly, on newsstands now — and sign up for our newsletter!
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Closer Magazine Interview with Mark Harmon Mark Harmon and His Family Enjoy Staying out of the Hollywood Spotlight: "It's Who We Are" (EXCLUSIVE) May 30, 2018 On NCIS, no case ever stumps naval investigator Leroy "Jethro" Gibbs, but in real life, Mark Harmon, 66, has long been befuddled by one mystery: fame. "My parents kept things real — I had no idea they were famous," says the son of sportscaster Tom Harmon and actress Elyse Knox. "In fact, it didn’t hit me until one day when I was riding in the car with my father in Ann Arbor, MI — I was maybe eight and could barely see above the dashboard — and we stopped at a crosswalk. Suddenly, we were surrounded by people who recognized my dad and were really thrilled to see him. I remember looking at this man I thought I knew so well and thinking, Who are you?" Millions of people ask the same question about Mark to this day. He’s the star of TV’s No. 1 drama yet he maintains an intense sense of privacy. He’s raised Sean, 30, and Ty, 25 — his sons with wife Pam Dawber, 66, with whom he recently renewed his vows in a quiet backyard ceremony — to keep similarly low profiles. "It’s not even a choice. It’s who we are," Mark explains. "We stay home. A lot. I’m not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that, either." Interviews with Mark as well as his family members, friends, and co-workers reveal a portrait of a consummate professional who values his home life above all else — and keeps it separate from his career, even during periods of severe personal and professional stress. "Mark is a shining example of the way it should be done," NCIS co-star Sean Murray exclusively tells Closer. "He’s incredibly grounded, works hard, and knows that family counts most." Those are lessons Mark learned early in life. "My father wanted me to be self-motivated," he recalls. "I was taught the only way to go about getting something was with everything you had." That he did, becoming a football star for UCLA and working as a roofer, carpenter, and shoe salesman before getting into acting at the urging of Ozzie Nelson, his sister Kristin’s father-in-law (she’d wed Ozzie and Harriet’s son, Ricky, in 1963). "I’d never been on a set before," Mark says of his 1973 acting debut on the Nelson family’s sitcom Ozzie’s Girls. "My character comes to the door in a gorilla outfit, and I got to say, 'My name’s Harry King Kong. Which way to the Empire State Building?'" It was an inauspicious start, and the situation didn’t improve as Mark toiled in short-lived shows like the rescue drama 240-Robert (he played Deputy Dwayne "Thib" Thibideau) and the overheated soap Flamingo Road. He romanced Road co-star Cristina Raines for four years, but they split in 1984. "She will always be a very special lady to me," he said. But Mark was looking for true love. "When I marry, I want it to be everything this town says it can’t be," he boldly declared in 1986. "I’m not into catting around." He met his match in Pam, who was introduced to him at a party thrown by a mutual friend. She had made a list of qualities she was seeking in a man — strength, intelligence, independence, sensitivity, sensuousness, warmth, and a sense of humor — and Mark ticked off every box. They wed in 1987, and Sean and Ty came along soon afterward. While Pam had enjoyed success on the small screen with the sitcoms Mork & Mindy and My Sister Sam, she put her career aside to raise the kids. "I had children and it was like, 'I’m not going to chase this fame thing,'" Pam says. "I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and doughnuts. And I was very happy to do it." Meanwhile, Mark’s career was really starting to cook with his breakout role as a heartthrob plastic surgeon on the critically worshipped hospital drama St. Elsewhere. But after three seasons, he felt lost in the teeming ensemble. "Mark’s a leading man, so I could understand his frustration," producer Tom Fontana tells Closer. "After all, he was a quarterback." In a groundbreaking plot twist, his heterosexual character contracted AIDS and left the show, but there were no hard feelings. "He did a great job with a challenging storyline," says Fontana. "We’ve stayed friends." Trouble brewed on the home front, however: Kristin had gotten mixed up with drugs during her marriage to Ricky, and after the rocker died in a 1985 plane crash, she went off the deep end. Mark engaged in legal wrangling to win custody of her son, Sam, then 12, and convinced Kristin to enter rehab. "Nobody but my brother could have talked me into this, because I trusted him," Kristin said. Ultimately, Mark dropped his bid for custody and was granted visitation and Sam remained close to his mom until her death in April at age 72 from a sudden heart attack. Mark and Pam have steered Sean and Ty clear of drugs and other temptations by being hands-on parents. That was another bit of hard-won wisdom for Mark. "I was in the jungles of New Guinea making a not-very-good movie [Till There Was You] when my firstborn took his first steps," he says. "No job is worth missing life’s most important moments." He’s since served as a sterling role model to his sons, proving himself a real-life hero by saving two teens trapped in a wrecked Jeep near his LA home in 1996. Mark smashed the windshield with a sledgehammer and extracted the youths before their vehicle exploded. "I owe everything to him," said one of the survivors. "I have no doubt I wouldn’t be alive." Mark’s career hit a lull in the 90s, but a guest shot on The West Wing put him back on the TV map, and in 2003 along came NCIS. The show had a rocky launch, as Mark clashed with creator Donald Bellisario over scripts arriving late and a zoo-like atmosphere on the set. Bellisario left and was replaced by Gary Glasberg, who became one of Mark’s closest friends and ran a tight operation, but Glasberg tragically died in his sleep at 50 in 2016. "That hit Mark very, very hard," an insider tells Closer. Still, Mark righted the ship and continues to weather on-set storms, like co-star Pauley Perrette’s controversial recent departure amid allegations that Mark’s dog bit a crew member. "Mark’s very sensitive to the people around him," co-star Rocky Carroll assures Closer. "The reason it’s such a great working atmosphere is he wouldn’t have it any other way. You can just tell the kind of upbringing he had." Mark leads by quiet example, à la Gibbs. "Like his character, he’s a functional mute," jokes Michael Weatherly, who left NCIS to star in his own CBS hit, Bull, in 2016. "Mark is a very old-fashioned, old-school gentleman, and I’ve learned a great deal at his side." When fans recognize Mark — like they did his dad all those years ago in Ann Arbor — he remains the ultimate gent. "It’s hard to walk through airports even in the most out-of-the-way places without being surrounded by people who love the show — and that’s nothing to complain about," he says. "I’ve done TV shows where I walk through airports apologizing." No doubt he handled that with equal grace. #MarkHarmon #NCIS
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For the headcanon ask: Sarah (Chuck), Steris, Anakin, and then any OC you would like to answer for, please. :)
So i’ve been sitting on this for i don’t know how long, chipping away at the answers, and this is what i got. It doesn’t cover everything for every one you asked, but it covers a fair amount. At any rate, it’s enough that i’m putting it under a read-more.
Sarah Walker
Headcanon B: [hilarious]
Despite being the daughter of a con man and a trained CIA spy for her entire adult life, post-series Sarah gets a deer-in-the-headlights look whenever some chatty new acquaintance asks how she and her husband met. Unless Chuck is there to rescue her, or her panicking mind manages to remember that a simple relating of “he fixed my phone and I gave him my number” without any of the classified details would work just fine, she winds up inventing some story on the spur of the moment. She’s not that good with inventing things spur of the moment.
Eventually she memorizes a safe, straightforward version of events to tell people who ask, but that isn’t until after she tells their neighbors across the street a complicated story involving ninja muggers and a computer virus that turned out to be a bomb.
Steris
Headcanon A: [realistic]
Steris has learned, to some extent, to express her emotions in a way that other people understand. It’s still acting, though. She may be pleased, but she does not feel like smiling. She may wish to get to know someone better, but she does not have any actual interest in who tailored their clothing.
Wax and Marasi are learning to understand how she expresses things. Wax, particularly, tries to learn how to communicate the same way. It will probably always be as much acting for him as ordinary social conventions are for her, but she appreciates it more than can be expressed, in either way.
Headcanon B: [hilarious]
She has a notebook dedicated to plans for the Scadriel equivalent of the zombie apocalypse. It started years ago, after an especially stressful society event, and her mind picked that particular topic to obsess on. After that, whenever she had difficult emotions that could not be soothed any other way, she would work them out by refining the plans or expanding them further.
Marasi came across the notebook once. She had read about half a page before realizing it belonged to Steris. She put it back quickly and has never brought it up, but sometimes she passes by an abandoned building and ponders its defensive capabilities, or eats some fresh fruit and wonders how difficult the plants would be to cultivate in desperate circumstances.
Steris’ theoretical colony is doing much better now that she’s married to Wax.
Headcanon C: [heart-crushing]
For a long time, Steris wished she had a sister. She tried to connect with other girls her own age, but it never seemed to work out. Some, particularly the daughters of older families, wouldn’t have anything to do with her at all, and those that did would suddenly stop, and Steris was never sure why.
When she first learned she had a baby half-sister, she started making a list: things to teach her, things they could do together, what personal things she could share (and what ones she would never, ever be allowed to touch). She was still working on it when her mother, still very upset, explained to her that none of those things were ever going to happen. Steris still didn’t understand why, but she tore up the list and threw it out.
Anakin
Headcanon A: [realistic]
A lot of things would have gone very differently if the Council had thought a bit more about the fact that Anakin had an incredibly different outlook than the kids brought up in the Temple.
Headcanon B: [hilarious]
Due to their radically different upbringings, experiences, and temperaments, Obi-Wan and Anakin miscommunicate regularly. Sometimes, far too often, it leads to frustration and disappointment. Other times, however, it leads to ridiculousness that leaves them scratching their heads, wondering where it all went wrong …
Obi-Wan tells Anakin to “meet him by the ship”. He then spends two hours waiting by the crashed ship in the forest, nibbling on preserved food packets, and very deliberately not worrying about what might have befallen his Padawan to delay him so long. Meanwhile, Anakin is hanging out on the ship they arrived in, tinkering with something he’s been secretly working on all week while he waits for his master to show up already.
Headcanon C: [heart-crushing]
Everything about Anakin’s life is heart-crushing, if you ask me.
Any OC
I picked Leah Tolkien, my character from Fallout 4.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Fallout games at all, so here are a few things you need to know about Fallout 4 for the following headcanons to make sense. I’ll try and keep them brief …
- The Fallout games take place in a post-apocalypse America, about 200 years after nuclear war. It also takes place in an alternate universe, as its pre-War America looks a lot more like 1950s America than modern-day, despite the War taking place in 2077. There were more advancements than in 1950, but mostly based on what people of the 1950s might have thought advanced science would look like.
- Fallout 4 starts with the main character, his or her spouse, and their infant son entering a vault to escape the nuclear war that’s just started (in 2077). They are, unwittingly, frozen cryogenically. Some time later, they wake up briefly to witness strangers kill their spouse and kidnap their son. The MC is frozen again, wakes up after an unknown amount of time, and escapes the Vault, vowing to find their son and avenge their spouse.
- Everyone else in the Vault is dead. The life support systems were discontinued for every pod except the MC’s.
Headcanon A: [realistic]
I have issues with how the concept of artificial life is handled in Fallout 4, both from scientific and philosophical standpoints, so there’s a lot of official information about synths that i ignore. Most notably -- this is a spoiler for the game, in case that matters -- i ignore the in-game fact that the synth child Shaun Leah ends up having custody of (eventually … i haven’t gotten that far) will never grow up or age.
Headcanon B: [hilarious]
The Silver Shroud was a popular radio/TV series before the War, with all the ham and cheese you would expect of a 50s-style serial about a masked vigilante going by a name like The Silver Shroud. Leah and her family loved it.
One of the (many) side quests Leah took up while searching for her son involved finding the original Silver Shroud costume, then using it and a weapon based off the one used by The Silver Shroud to fight crime. Leah did the entire thing as in-character as it was possible for her to be.
While that side quest eventually ended, Leah still indulges in acting like The Silver Shroud from time to time. Some of her companions are as enthusiastic as she is about it. Others, well, they have to brace themselves every time she has the chance to talk to the bad guys she’s fighting.
Headcanon C: [heart-crushing]
As i’ve noted previously, Leah considers herself as two different people -- pre-War Leah and post-War Leah. In many ways, post-War Leah is a much stronger person. She can carry more, walk farther and faster, and is probably healthier than she’s ever been. Morally, her beliefs and principles have been challenged, both more often and much more dangerously than in the past. She’s learned to do things that her younger self would not have believed possible. But at the same time, she is far more fragile.
Sometimes, she’ll find a broken-down crib or a baby’s rattle, and mentally … go somewhere else for a half hour. Someone will walk by in a scavenged military uniform, and she’ll spend the rest of the day on the verge of tears (her husband was in the military). A song will play on the radio that reminds her of her wedding, and she’ll turn it off so fast the knob just about breaks. The thing that sets her off today might have caused no reaction yesterday. She might not even understand what about this thing reminds her of the past. Sometimes she can push it to the side or ignore it, but other times there’s nothing to be done but wait for it to pass.
Her companions eventually learn how to help, in their own ways, even if it’s just making sure nothing sneaks up on them while Leah’s out of commission. But it never fully heals or goes away. What happened to her was a drastic, awful thing, like getting a limb cut off. She’s learned to move forward, but something has been lost that can’t be replaced.
Headcanon D: [unrealistic]
Not sure if this counts as “unrealistic”, but it’s all i got.
After the end of the game, once all the dangling threads have been resolved and the dust is settling, Leah has a funeral for all the people who died in Vault 111. It’s a very personal affair, so she only asks her closest friends to come.
There’s not much more to it than digging graves outside the vault and laying the bodies to rest. For some people, she didn’t know them well enough to say much more than their names and professions, and even for the ones she did know she doesn’t say many words. It’s easier to cover the graves with stones to protect them from animals rather than put up markers, and honestly Leah prefers it that way. In a better world, they would have headstones up for their families to visit and mourn at, but that isn’t the world they live in. Most likely anyone coming to Vault 111 is coming to raid it or to gawk at it, so this way they won’t be raiding or gawking at the graves.
She visits once every year, on the anniversary of the day she left the vault, and leaves flowers, one for every person.
Thanks for asking!
#ask#answer#headcanon#sarah walker#steris harms#mistborn#wax & wayne#cosmere#anakin skywalker#star wars#fallout#fallout 4#video games are awesome#leah tolkien (fallout 4)#OCs#i think that's all the tags ...#valiantarcher
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13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps
Death, illness and tragedy have long been part of the history of insane asylums, and for as long as they have existed, so too have the scary stories associated with them. From haunted hospitals to sadistic doctors and nurses, psychiatric wards have been the inspiration for many of our favorite horror movies and books. Yet, the true stories told by the psych ward workers below far surpass any horrors that we might have seen at the cinema or read in a book.
Without further ado, here are thirteen of some of the creepiest psych ward stories on the internet that have been shared by health care professionals.
1. HOLDING HER OWN EYES
My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I’ve ever heard.
This was during the night shift, and generally, all the patients’ bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.
When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.
The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.
My mom screamed for help and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.
2. THE SAW
I work as a psychotherapist in a hospital system. My definition of creepy is probably quite a bit different from other medical professionals.
The one that got to me the most was a patient who came to us after attempting suicide by sawing both his arms off at the forearm with a table saw. His arms were reattached, fairly successfully too, with only limited impairments in mobility. All I could think was how bad it would have to be to live in his head that sawing his arms off seemed better than that.
He has since completed suicide.
3. JANE?
We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We’ll call her Jane. Jane’s first night at our facility staff doing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.
Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room she would run between walls in her room touching them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. This particular night Jane was frantic in her pace, practically running between walls. Our night staff observed the entire interaction and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When the staff went to check on Jane she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong and Jane replied, “what makes you think you are speaking to Jane?”
4. THE VAMPIRE
My mom worked in mental institutions in her younger years (and actually worked at a large, well-known asylum before it was shut down.)
There was one woman there that thought she was a vampire of sorts. She was only allowed out one hour a day, and they had to use safety precautions. She had already attacked and killed at least one hospital worker before these were enacted.
When my Mom asked about her, it was revealed that she had killed at least two of her children, wounded another as well as her husband because she had some sort of physical condition called Porphyria, which apparently made her crave blood.
By the time that they discovered there was something physically wrong with her, she already had lost her mind from guilt and grief.
5. THE SPITTER
I’m not a psychologist but my friend is. She told me about a patient of hers who was HIV positive and a paranoid schizophrenic. He thought that the nurses who worked at the hospital he was in were trying to kill him, so he would frequently bite his tongue, and spit HIV positive blood into their faces/mouths. When they had to come into contact with him, they were required to wear full masks and gloves.
6. THE ONLY ONE
I once knew a woman who had spent part of her residency at a psychiatric hospital for people with severe mental conditions. Apparently, the grounds had a lovely, enclosed greenhouse. One day, one of their schizophrenic patients was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, as a heron frantically flew around. It had found its way in and, not being able to escape, it was smashing into the large panes of glass. The man just sat there watching.
Finally, my counselor asked him if the bird was bothering him and he kind of sighed and said, “Thank god, I thought I was the only one seeing that.”
7. FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS
My sister is the director of a psychiatric hospital. There was recently a lady there who would cut her arms, legs and torso open and place photographs of her family under her skin.
8. UNDER THE BED
Once, a fellow female patient told me she found writings under her bed. They were just old, small wooden bed frames with hard mattresses that would make all kinds of noises when you rolled over, but I still wondered what exactly she was doing lying under her bed to find these writings.
When she first told me, I thought it was a joke. But sure enough, one day during group we managed to sneak away, and she showed me. Indeed, there were stories written under her bed. After that, we had everyone check under their own beds, and there was more writing under every single bed.
They were stories of patients who had stayed here before, or ways they were planning on killing themselves, or who the good and bad nurses were. It creeped me out.
9. TIME OF DEATH
Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar “checklist” that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way. They would get caught talking to someone that wasn’t there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, “Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00.” Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.
10. THE TEST SUBJECT
I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody – often the CIA – is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.
“It’s precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects,” he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?
“You can see I’m not irrational,” the man said. “I’m just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am.”
11. THE BOY WHO LOVED KNIVES
As a tech in psych years ago, there was a 7-year-old kid sent to the floor because the mom didn’t know what to do with him. Sadly, common thing to happen, even if the kids don’t have psych issues. Anyway, the mom was shaking and crying, and they had to take the kid into another room. She was genuinely afraid of her own son. She had suspected something was wrong when she kept finding mutilated animals in the backyard, but never heard or saw coyotes or anything around. The neighbors smaller pets started disappearing. The boy had an obsession with knives, hiding them around the house. Denying anything when the mom confronted him. Then when the two started getting into arguments, he would get really violent and hit her, push her down and kick her, threaten to kill her. On multiple occasions she woke up in the middle of the night with him standing beside her bed, staring her in the face. She put extra locks on her bedroom door to feel safe while she slept. The last straw was when she lifted up his mattress and found 50+ knives of all shapes and sizes under there. So she brought him to us.
I remember talking to him, treating him like he was just any other kid that came through. He seemed remarkably normal, until you spoke directly to him. He had this way of looking right through you, or maybe like he didn’t see you at all while you were speaking.
He would respond like a robot, like he was just saying words because that’s what we wanted to hear. And he would always put on this creepy, dead-looking smile. Like all mouth and no eye involvement in the smile. Especially when he would get away with something, like taking another kid’s markers and they couldn’t figure it out. Still gives me chills laying here thinking about him.
I believe I met a 7-year-old psychopath.
12. THE NEW MOM
I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients’ medications, and being a 5’2″ girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.
His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me “Miss Jones” or “ma’am.”
One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.
This escalated to the point of him calling her “Mom” and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn’t be his mom because that would hurt his real mother’s feelings, and that she already had that job covered.
So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.
13. BUGS
Nothing I can say can possibly describe the year I worked in Psychiatric Intensive Care. Creepy isn’t the thing that comes to mind when I think back on it…more heartbreaking and horrifying. But creepiness was a part of it. Especially evening and night shifts, naturally.
There is always something disturbing about watching someone while they hallucinate. You can tell it is 100% real to them, and something about that makes you believe it, on some level. A lot of stories end with, “and of course, I had to look over my shoulder to make sure”. You see the emotions it brings out.
There was a woman that came in and sat down across the table from me for her admission interview. She had bandages all over her arms and scotch tape over her mouth and ears. She looked very uncomfortable and wouldn’t really sit still. When the nurse would ask her a question, she would peel the corner of the tape back and answer, then stick the tape back on really fast.
We eventually found out that she saw and felt bugs crawling all over her, and they were trying to get inside her body. The tape was to keep the bugs out. The bandages were because some bugs got in and she had to dig them out. She couldn’t sit still because she felt the bugs all over her even while we sat and talked. The worst part was, she had some idea that it was her mind playing tricks on her. Can you imagine going through your life, feeling like someone is continuously dumping buckets of cockroaches on your head, feeling like they’re all over you and getting inside of you to the point that you’re digging chunks out of your flesh in a panic, all while knowing intellectually that none of it is real?
#13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps#paranormal#ghost and hauntings#ghost and spirits#haunted salem#myhauntedsalem
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Candy Girl pt. 1
This is my very first attempt at an actual series, and based on the amount of feedback I got on the post asking if I should do this, I think it should be really fun. My computer is down and I’m using mobile, So if you see an wierd block and explanation point on some of the Letter I’s, let me know and I’ll fix this problem . Enjoy!!!!
Warnings: mentions of past abuse, mentions of possible abortion
Synopsis: Ragnar Lothbrok is one of the most successful men in the western world, creating a monopoly from the ground up practically. He owns a series of both banks and petrol stations across numerous cities in Los Angeles county, but underneath his wealth, five children and two ex wives, he’s a very lonely man.
Word count: 1.5k-ish
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December 7, 1974 was both his birth day, and his mother’s death day. Ragnar Lothbrok had grown up in a small town in Oklahoma, just outside of Tulsa, with an alcoholic father. The man resented his son for the 18 years that he raised him, beating him with a metal coat hanger when the boy did something that displeased him.
Ragnar was desperate to leave that place. To leave his abusive father and his idiot classmates. Past the age of 14, he spent his summers, and even the afternoons during the school year, working on the fields for 50 dollars a day. By 18 he had saved up nearly 80,000 dollars, well enough for a one way plane ticket to California.
When he left he doubted his father even noticed, being passed out drunk on the couch as he walked out with a single off brand yellowed and tearing suitcase.
The first year in California was spent in a beach city near the ports where he quickly found work as a manual labor on the docks. He loved the freedom of being here, he loved the cool ocean breeze, and he loved the women. His evenings off work were often spent in a nightclub downtown, where he only got in with a 20 dollar bribe to the bouncer. That’s how he met his first wife, Lagertha.
She was a beautiful and incredibly intelligent woman, going to the local university, and majoring in social science. They were married within 6 months of meeting one another. A courthouse wedding and subpar “bridal suite” later, and the two were expecting a child.
The boy, Bjorn Ironside Lothbrok was born a hefty 7.6 pounds, with bright blue eyes and a tuft of yellow hair. The happy and outgoing child did nothing to stop the divorce of the couple. At age 6, Bjorn’s mother and father had officially gotten a divorce.
The custody battles were the worst, as his father brought around his bow pregannt mistress, Aslaug. Even at a young age Bjorn wondered a few things about the woman; the first being, why would she wore such tacky eyeliner, and the second being how his father could so easily attract beautiful women.
Aslaug would go on to have 3 perfectly healthy pregnancies with Ragnar, resulting in 3 beautiful baby boys that all strongly resembled their father. Her fourth pregnancy however, was the difficult one. The doctors said it wasn’t her age or health, but rather a rare condition that her child had inherited. Apparently both Ragnar and his wife carried genes for a rare bone disease, Osteogenesis Imperfecta. After 3 healthy pregnancies, all Aslaug could do was thank the gods that only one child of hers would be crippled.
Ragnar took the news to heart, and nearly convinced his wife to have an abortion, so the child wouldn’t come into this world miserable. Thankfully, the kindhearted woman could not bring herself to do such a thing, and instead flung herself into reading numerous medical books and studies of the disease. By her third trimester she was nearly an expert on the disease, and hoped that her son only inherited a very mild case, that would effect him only in very small ways.
The 17 hour birth resulted in a baby boy with severely deformed legs, that looked almost like those of a goat, certainly out of place on such a beautiful child. By then she had accepted that her son would be physically very different from his brothers.
Raising 5 kids was hard on Asluag, and Ragnar was gone most of the time. He had recently taken his savings and boyght up stocks, resulting in a large payout. When the nearest Petrol station had gone up for sale, he jumped at the chance to buy it.
As the neighborhood grew from a series of shaggy streets lined with apartments and liquor stores to an upscale metropolis, Ragnar was looking at nearly 30,000 dollars a month in profits alone.
The family moved from a three bedroom apartment to a nine bedroom house within his first year of owning the petrol station.
Asluag stayed home and educated the children through home school, always giving Ivar extra attention, while Ragnar came home in the evenings and taught the boys to box, being practically a semi professional himself.
As the boys grew, so did Ragnar’s business. With the excess monetary means coming in monthly, he was able to purchase 3 more petrol stations in the up and coming town. Within 6 months, he was making a million dollars annually, and had begun to consider buying up a franchise, or better yet, founding a company.
Ragnar was absent in his children’s lives for the better part of a decade, being buried in stacks of paperwork, overseas meetings, and tough financial decisions. With the help of his older brother, Rollo, who had also managed to get out of that town.
Within 15 years of living in California, Ragnar was more successful than he could have ever imagined. He moved his family to Beverly Hills, as a status symbol of course; he knew he could never really belong there. With his new assets, he was able to purchase several minor clothing lines, and even a bank in West Los Angeles, just off Wilshire.
His acquired name in the city amongst the other investors was King Ragnar, being as he dominated the city, buying out restaurants, gas stations, and even in one case a small pet shop. The man’s fortune had been made, and he could safely prove to everyone in his hometown that he had finally made ít but ìt left him in a bit of an uncomfortable position: managing nearly 6 separate corporations. Ìt would take years of strategic deals and sales to inconspicuously line up the companies for merging, and he wasn’t about to risk losing his new fortune.
For the first few years, he was irresponsible, traveling regularly to other countries, indulging in le than gentlemen like activities, and finding a liking to prescription painkillers. Even through all this, as his sons grew, he knew that he had to continue to maintain the empire that they would one day inherit.
When his youngest son, Ivar, was 16, Ragnar divorced his wife Aslaug. She had become a heavy drinker, and only caused problems, including the accidental death of Bjorn’s child. His granddaughter. That was the breaking point for him, and within 2 months, the divorce process had been expedited through a series of bribes on his part.
The divorce hit Ragnar hard, leaving him lonely, even with the company of his sons. The boys indulged in activities just as he had, resulting in him paying nearly 500,000 dollars total in bail money for the 4 youngest sons. Maybe this was genetic, or maybe they were all jackasses. When his youngest son had turned 18, Ragnar was free to do as he pleased. He left his house, opting to rent the house out to small filmmakers, which he later learned were actually pornographic filmmakers, but hey, live and learn. He moved to a one bedroom loft in downtown Los Angeles, where he could easily commute to work, even by foot.
Ragnar wasn’t one for expensive looking clothing. He was raised by a frugal father, and sometimes could still see that quality peeking out. He wore the same pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes every day for nearly two years, until Hvitserk, his middle son, had forced him to purchase new ones.
He didn’t spend much money on his wardrobe, and every dollar he made went to his cars. As a teen he drove the same red Ford pickup truck for 3 years straight, so he could tell where his love for luxury cars stemmed from. He had a total of 16 cars, totalling at well over 7 million dollars. They were his children, well, figurative children. His sons were living in Toronto, New York, Vegas, basically any city that he wasn’t living in.
Instead of spending time and money trying to find another wife, he simply focused on work. Nearly 5 years after the bitter divorce him and Aslaug went through, he started to want another relationship, to want someone to hold and someone to talk to at night. So, he began to date. He went on a total of 112 dates with 112 woman. He counted, and none of them ever got to a second date. The minute that he mentioned owning a company, that was all that the women could talk about. There was never really a true connection.
One of his associates told him of a method that they used, and as complicated as the conversation was, ìt basically meant “Hey man, you’re too rich to find a girl and too lonely? Pay a younger chick to be around you, basically worship you” . He thought the man was crazy at first, but eventually grew into liking the idea. After nearly 7 and a half months of searching for a so called “Sugar Baby”, he finally settled on a beautiful girl with dark brown eyes, tan skin, and light brown hair. Her name is Jazmyn.
#ragnar lothbrok#ragnar lodbrok#sugar dating#vikings#vikings au#sugar daddy au#daddy ragnar#fuck yes
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What comes easy won’t last long, and what lasts long won’t come easy
Here we are again. The flavor of the day is bland with a twist of desperation.
I am not perfect by any means. I make mistakes and like to think I’ve been capable of owning them. I’ve always thought of myself to be fairly level headed, someone who can look at the bigger picture from everyone’s position. I have been overly accommodating to the people who surround me, I try way harder for them then I do for myself. I am guilty of being ‘a people pleaser’. I don’t know when that started really, but in my 30′s it became severely obvious, and I kinda hate myself for that.
I am walking into my 8th year of my relationship with my boyfriend... B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D. Not Fiance, not husband... shit, hardly a partner. He is a BOY, and I am stuck here. Not against my will obviously, I can kick him out whenever I please, however, my life with him is a complicated one that effects too many people (there I am, people pleasing again. Buckle up folks, this happens often).
I am 7 years older then my boyfriend, let’s call him Blu (that was my dog’s name). I met Blu by accident actually. In May of 2013 my then husband and I decided we just could not work it out anymore and we split ways. We were cordial, able to remain friendly for the sake of our kids. We accepted that although we failed MARRIAGE, we will not fail Co-Parenting. He left our family home in May and by September I met Blu. There’s some chaos there but I’ll tell that tale on another occasion. Remember when I said I met Blu by accident? I was serious. I had a friend named Emma who loved drama! She came to my house and told me about a site that she found out her boyfriend was on and she wanted to see if he would flirt with me (or another fake identity she made up to be honest, she just used my information to create an account), I call that playing with fire, but you know how that can go. Anyway, she did what she needed to and got the information that she wanted. I was uninterested in those apps so I never bothered to look into it. A couple of days later someone named Blu would send me multiple messages trying to get me to talk. I decided to respond, I explained that my name wasn’t what was listed and explained the whole situation to him, he just laughed it off. I didn’t know then that he was so familiar with drama like my darling friends little stunt. Anyway, we got to talking and it was very soon when he asked if I was interested in meeting up. After all the crime shows and books I’m into it was a hard HELL NO for me. I asked him to give me a little time, I also explained my position.
He told me a lot about himself, single dad, shares custody of two very young children with his ex. He lived with his parents about 2 miles from where I was. He didn’t seem cocky or arrogant, or maybe I just didn’t see it. We exited the chats and moved on to phone texts. He would message me every morning, afternoon and night. He knew about the age difference and didn’t care. Meanwhile I felt incredibly insecure about it. After about 7 weeks I finally caved and said I would meet him somewhere public, he said his family was having a BBQ at his house for me to just come by. I thought that out and figured: who would kill or rape me with all their family there?! So I went, but I never went inside his home. I stayed by my car, we talked for hours. I remember in the end I was fitting on the trunk of my car and him on the edge of the sidewalk... maybe 1:30 am when I finally decided to head home. He didn’t try any funny business, and was completely respectful. Before I left he asked if he can take me out to eat somewhere, like an official date, I still felt a little odd but I agreed. At that dinner I told him everything, about my pending divorce, how my custody is currently working, etc.
Me and him were from different worlds entirely. There were a few occasions that really pointed the differences out. For example, he listens to REAL MEXICAN MUSIC (google CALIBRE 50) where as my Mexican music consisted of Reggeton, Salsa, Bachata. He was 100% grounded in his Mexican roots, where my mixed breed havin’ ass was raised in an American household, where dinners were served at a certain time, we ate together as a family, we attended church on Sundays, we were close. The structure of my life was typical American Family with the added components of my nationalities; Mexican and Puerto Rican. We didn’t curse around our elders, I didn’t know of drugs, or habits. That was the first shot, the second time I noticed the difference was in October when we made arrangements to carve pumpkins with his kids and mine. On that particular day his mom and sisters were home, so of course I invited them to participate. They looked at the pumpkins as though they just landed from outter space! The third time was just a couple of months after, December. While my house was decked out with Christmas trees, stockings, and nicely wrapped presents... his house had no tree, no gifts, nothing.
We have gone through a lot over the years, mostly good things (or so I thought). Have you ever laid next to someone you felt the closest to and think Gosh, I don’t even know him? Eight years later and I still think that. I use to cry myself to sleep. I still feel so incredibly alone, and more so... misunderstood. The SANE me wants to think I have a right to think this way, but he comes in and convinces me that I am the problem. Meet Blu, head of the narcissists.
He is consumed with his cars, weed and sex. He has a problem with being faithful. And I have a problem with trusting him, and every time I feel I can let my guard down, he always comes in to remind me that I can’t. Things are about to get personal, I hope you don’t mind.
The first time I found out about his ‘extra activities’ we were already living together, this was maybe a little over a year after we became official with each other. He left his phone in the living room and it was getting a ton of texts, to my luck he is also a very heavy sleeper. I opened the messages and read them (OMG WHY WOULD YOU GO THROUGH HIS MESSAGES?! FK OFF KAREN, THIS IS MY REALITY, NOT YOURS!). It was a girl asking if he was gonna go by. I messaged her back as though I was him and she went along. I ended up waking him up, my eyes red and burning from all the crying. I asked him about it and all he was able to say is WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH MY PHONE, turned it off and went to bed. I remember feeling low, but that didn’t stop me dumb ass from going to lay next to him and crying until I fell asleep. He ended up changing his number after a few days and said he was ‘sorry’. Those types of situations happened maybe twice a year.
In 2016 I helped him open his own business, he had no money so I put up most of it (yes, stupid, I hear ya!) with the condition that he would not be listed on any documents as an owner. He argued with me about me not making him feel like a man (people pleasing in 3, 2, 1...) So I added him to the paperwork. I felt bad for him, I never wanted him to feel like that despite what he made me feel like. On one occasion he was working late, me being scar’d for life, I called him about 12:20 am and asked if I could take him anything or if he needs something because he had been working since 2 pm. He told me he was fine, but I said OK LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. I went anyway to ‘take him food’, when I was driving up a black Honda was driving off, and there was Blu looking like he saw a ghost. I asked who that was an immediately he yelled and asked why I was there. I said that I brought him something to eat to which he said MY FRIEND JUST BROUGHT ME SOMETHING... my friend... hmmm... At about 4 a.m. I messaged and asked if he was ok and he said IM NOT COMING HOME, IM DONE! My pride didn’t allow this to just happen, I responded with OK. I locked his ATM card, Gas Card, and any credit lines. He came home (I thought he would) hootin and hollerin! I quietly took my explosion waiting for him to finish. At that point I said to just leave the work truck keys and to be on his way. He refused.
In 2018 he started recording his phone calls for work purposes (you wouldn’t believe how many people try and cheat ya to save a buck!). I had access to the recordings but never listened to them because they were of a bunch of truckers asking for stuff. One day though, I was triggered. He said he was going to go down the street to help my sister and brother in law move something. I thought it was strange because my sister told me everything! So when he left I asked her about it, she said ‘yea it was weird he offered to come help’ I then asked her to call me once he left. About 10 minutes later I got the text “HEY SORRY HE LEFT LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO BACK HOME” We lived literally five minutes away, so I waited. After about 30 minutes I decided to listen to the recordings. He called a girl asking her to meet him in the Bank Of America Parking lot about 5 minutes the opposite way, he told her he was able to leave his kids with his dad for a little while so he can go see her. My heart SANK. I felt it at the pit of my stomach. This entire douche bag drove MY CAR to see some hoe??? FOR REAL! So I texted him and said where are you? He messaged about 10 minutes later and said IM ON MY WAY HOME I JUST FINISHED AT YOUR SISTERS. I didn’t respond. When he came it we went at it. Let me clear the air: I AM NOT AN ARGUER. I don’t find it useful to scream and yell, but my emotions were shot, I was on a different level now. I dropped the bomb! I guess he didn’t see it coming because he was unable to keep up with the shit storm I was dishing out. In the middle of it, that broad had the nerve to call him. I told him to answer it and he said no. When I got ahold of his phone he had the NUTS to tell me NOT TO FK IT UP FOR HIM. Shattered. I was non-existent.
to be continued
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The Rest of the Weekend Warrior’s 2020 Top 25… and His Terrible 12 Movies!
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that my Top 10 has already appeared over at Below the Line, and you can either go there and read those first or start with the movies that fell just outside my top 10, including a few movies you might not have heard about.
Back at the very beginning of 2020, I made a private resolution that I would watch more screeners. This is because I had become quite legendary for publicists sending me screeners and me just not getting the time to watch them with all the running around I was doing to screenings. I will never make a resolution like that ever again. (In fact, if my 2021 resolution was to have more sex, I only really need to do it once.)
This year, I wrote (no joke) slightly under 300 reviews, which may be more than I wrote in the three years prior. Part of this was having extra time from not travelling around the city trying to get to screenings, but also, once I decided to transition my weekly box office column into a review column, I decided that I was gonna watch and review as many movies as I possibly could this year. I’m sure there are others who do this all the time, but man, I don’t know how you do it. There were days where I got so burnt out at staring at my laptop for 15 hours every day that I just had to stop.
Still, when you’re watching 300 movies in a single year, any movie that can get into my annual Top 25 (or even get an Honorable Mention) should feel somewhat honored.
Anyway, onto the second 15 movies in my Top 25 (click on the title for a link to each of my reviews!):
11. Herself (Amazon Prime Video) – One of my more recent viewings is this film directed by Phyllida Lloyd (Mamma Mia!) and starring British actress Clare Dunne (who also co-wrote the script) as a mother of two young girls who got out of an abusive marriage with a man who still shares custody with her daughters. She wants to give her girls a place to live so she decides to build her own house on a plot of land given to her as a gift. It’s such a simple premise but Lloyd and Dunne have made a wonderful not-too-heavy drama that still slams you with its raw emotions.
12. Jungleland (IFC Films) – I really enjoyed Max Winkler’s earlier movie Ceremony, but this underground boxing drama about two brothers (Jack O’Connell, Charlie Hunnam) was also a solid crime-drama that follows them on a road trip to deliver a mob boss’ mistress (Jessica Barden) back to him on their way to a big match. Winker really outdid himself in terms of the storytelling and somehow managed to avoid most of the normal boxing movie cliches while allowing this to stand up to some of the greats.
13. Palm Springs (NEON/Hulu) – One of the first of this year’s Sundance movies that really connected with me, Max Barbakow’s sci-fi comedy starred Andy Samberg as a guy stuck at a horrible wedding who ends up in a Groundhog’s Day situation with the wonderful Christin Milioti was so much fun. Adding to the madness was JK Simmons as a guy who seems to be out to get Samberg’s character for reasons we don’t learn until much later. Such a brilliant and hilarious movie with so much great re-watch value.
14. Soul (Disney•Pixar) – The latest from the animation studio that seemingly can’t do wrong – but that depends on who you ask – follows jazz pianist Joe (voiced by Jamie Foxx) who dies and ends up “The Great Beyond” desperate to get back to earth having just gotten his big break. Helping him (sort of) is a soul voiced by Tina Fey, and things don’t go quite as Joe helped. Co-written and co-directed by Kemp Powers, the film goes in a different direction from Docter’s last animated film, Inside Out, but still retaining some of the same metaphysical fabric that made that Oscar-winning animated film connect with adults just as much as with kids.
15. Mangrove (Amazon Prime Video) – The debate on whether Steve McQueen’s latest “Small Axe Anthology” should be deemed a TV series or five separate movies continues to rage as Amazon decides to save the movie for the Emmies. At two hours long, Mangrove is the closest of the series to being a great stand-alone film, and frankly, I thought it was better than McQueen’s Oscar-winning film, 12 Years a Slave. This told the true story of restaurant owner, Frank Crichlow (Shaun Parkes), and how he’s persecuted by the racist local police in the late ‘60s, but when he teams with a local Black Panther activist (Black Panther’s Letitia Wright), a protest march turns into a tense court trial for a number of people involved in it.
16. I Will Make You Mine (Gravitas Ventures) – Actor Lynn Chen’s directorial debut was actually the third movie in a trilogy of indie films centered around musician/songwriter Goh Nakamura, who appeared in all three films. I watched this the first time thought it was just okay. When I realized it was part of a series of films, and I went back and watched the other two movies, I was completely blown away by what Chen did within this finale. With movies, you generally only have a limited time to explore its characters, but like Richard Linklater’s “Before” movies, this movie helped to really create depth in the characters by revisiting them. I was kind of shocked that I hadn’t seen the other movies – few critics have – and though only 18 other critics reviewed this one, the film is still 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, which should tell you how good it is.
17. Sylvie’s Love (Amazon Prime Video) – Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha starred in Eugene Ashe’s 50s-60s-set romantic drama about an early television producer and a jazz musician, following their relationship after a summer fling that ends with him leaving for Paris. Separated for years, she remarries and raise the child from her former lover, but then they reconnect and… well, you’ll have to watch it for yourself. It’s on Prime Video right now, so if you’re a subscriber, you have no reason not to. (And Erik Davis of Fandango had a great idea… watch this as a double feature with McQueen’s Lovers Rock from “Small Axe Anthology”!)
18. The Traitor (Sony Pictures Classics) – Last year’s Italian section for the Oscar International Film was a fantastic The Godfather-like crime-thriller, this one starring Pierfrancesco Favino as Tomassso Buscetta, a Palermo-based Casa Nostra family member responsible for the heroin trade in the ‘80s who flees to Brazil. It’s an amazing story showing that filmmaker Marco Bellochio did his research to create a movie that didn’t really get the critical love or attention it deserved.
19. Weathering With You (GKids) – And here is Japan’s selection for the Oscar International Film, a rare Anime film, this one by Your Name director Makoto Shinkai, this one more about a fantasy-romance about a young man who meets a young woman who can control the rain, which they turn into a lucrative business. I didn’t love it quite as much as Your Name, which was a truly inventive turn on the “body-switching” movie, but this also had some of the same characterizations that make Shinkai’s work so terrific, so it was impossible not to enjoy how it translated into his latest feature.
20. Lingua Franca (ARRAY Releasing/Netflix) – Trans filmmaker Isabel Sandoval’s film was released in the same weekend as another movie with a trans lead, Flavio Alves’ The Garden Left Behind. While they were both good, Sandoval wrote, directed and starred in her movie which was about her character Olivia having a romance with a guy surrounded by transphobic bros. Olivia is also trying to get her green card, and the immigrant aspect of the film really added a lot to what seemed like a deeply personal film.
21. The Outpost (Screen Media Films) – I’ve been a fan of Rod Lurie’s work for almost as long as I’ve been writing reviews. In fact, one of my very FIRST movie reviews was for his movie The Last Castle in 2001. I’ve also been fortunate to call him friend. I’ve watched Rod transition into quite a skilled television director, but I been waiting over ten years for him to make a movie as good as his amazing political thriller, Nothing but the Truth. Working from Jake Tapper’s non-fiction novel, Lurie created a full-on and unapologetic war movie as good as Peter Berg’s Lone Survivor, Blackhawk Down or any other modern war film… but also a film as personal as any others released this year.
22. The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix) – Aaron Sorkin’s second film as a director stepped things up, WAY up, as he decided to take on one of the more noted events that signified the famed “Summer of Love” of 1969, as a number of peaceful protesters were tried by the federal government for “inciting a riot.” The amazing cast included Eddie Redmayne, Sacha Baron Cohen, Yahya Abdul-Mateen 2, Michal Keaton, Mark Rylance, Frank Langella, Jeremy Strong and many more. It was an abundance of acting riches and when you have such a fine wordsmith in screenwriter/playwright Sorkin, it’s hard to go wrong. The thing is that by the time I saw this, I had already seen Steve McQueen’s Mangrove, which in my opinion is a far superior version of a similar story from the same time period.
23. Words on Bathroom Walls (LD Entertainment/Roadside Attractions) – A movie I didn’t expect much from but totally fell in love with was this romantic drama starring Charlie Plummer as Adam Petrozelli, a young man sent to a Catholic School where he hopes to keep his schizophrenia a secret from his new classmates. The film co-starred Taylor Russell from Waves as Adam’s friend and love interest, who also gets worried about Adam’s erratic behavior whenever he goes off his meds. Adam’s condition was shown by the personalities he interacts with, played by Anna Sophia Robb, Devon Bostick and Lobo Sebastian, but the movie also stars the great Molly Parker as Adam’s mother and Walton Goggins as her live-in boyfriend. All of this adds up to a great coming-of-age film from Thor Freudenthal that also became one of the first couple movies since March to test out theatrical waters months after the pandemic shutdown.
24. Sputnik (IFC Midnight) – An amazing Russian sci-fi thriller from Egor Abramenko (remember that name!) that’s likely to be compared to Alien but adds so much more depth by taking place in communist Russia during the ‘80s. It stars Pyotr Fyodorov as a cosmonaut who brought something back with him from space and Oksana Akinshina as the psychologist who has to figure what is happening. It starts quite, reminding you of the original Russian film Solaris, but by the end, it gets pretty insane. More than anything, it finds a way of doing something original within an overused sci-fi trope.
25. Parallel (Vertical Entertainment) - Similarly, I had pretty low expectations for Isaac Ezban’s sci-fi/horror film about a group of Silicon Valley friends who discover a mirror that allows them to travel to and from alternate versions of their own dimension, which they use for criminal activities. Soon, some of them have gotten out of control with the power and money that this access gives them, but like Palm Springs, it’s a great take on another overused sci-fi trope that’s done so beautifully. (Warning: There have been a LOT of movies with this title in the last five years. Make sure you choose the right one!)
Honorary Mentions: The Prom (Netflix), Kindred (IFC Midnight), On the Rocks (A24/Apple TV+), Yellow Rose(Sony), Misbehaviour (Shout! Factory), Premature (IFC Films), Spontaneous (Paramount), The Climb (Sony Pictures Classics)
Oh, and as a reminder, here’s my top 10, this time with links to my reviews where applicable:
10. One Night in Miami.. (Amazon Prime Video) 9. Pieces of a Woman (Netflix) 8. Sound of Metal (Amazon Prime Video) 7. Mulan (Disney+) 6. Synchronic (Well GO USA) (Tied with Disney+’s Hamilton) 5. Nomadland (Searchlight Studios) 4. News of the World (Universal) 3. Minari (A24) 2. Corpus Christi 1. Promising Young Woman (Focus Features)
And some MORE DOCS I liked that didn’t make my Top 12 over at Below the Line:
13. Robin’s Wish (Vertical) 14. PJ Harvey: A Dog Called Money 15. 76 Days (MTV Documentaries) 16. Rebuilding Paradise (NatGeo) 17. The Fight (Magnolia) 18. Collective (Magnolia) 19. Stuntwomen: The Untold Hollywood Story (Shout! Studios) 20. We Are Freestyle Love Supreme (Hulu) 21. My Name is Pedro (Sweet 180) 22. Crock of Gold: A Night with Shane MacGowan (Magnolia) 23. You Cannot Kill David Arquette (Super) 24. Feels Good Man 25. Suzi Q (Utopia Distribution)
The Terrible 12 of 2020!:
And it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for -- and the reason I guess most people are reading this -- so I apologize for making all five of you read through all the great movies and docs of 2020 before getting to the juicy stuff. Let’s get to it!
12. Superintelligence (HBO Max) – There was a time when I loved Melissa McCarthy – years before Bridesmaids – but her success after that film and her decision to keep making movies with husband/director Ben Falcone has only led to a few halfway decent comedies. (I didn’t think The Boss was that bad, but that’s cause it co-starred Kristen Bell.) So imagine if you’re one of the first big studio comedies to be dumped to Warner Media’s new streaming service, HBO Max, and that was almost SIX MONTHS BEFORE COVID HIT! How bad could a movie be to have that little support and confidence from the studio? Well, I found out that very thing, as I sat through this horrible movie that had McCarthy play another one of her usual “everywomen,” this one who encounters an Artificial Intelligence, voiced by James Corben, who has achieved sentience. Trying to learn what it is to be human, the AI starts giving McCarthy’s character everything she wants, including a relationship an old workmate, played by Bobby Canavale. The movie wasn’t very funny but it also branched into a rom-com plot that just didn’t suit either McCarthy or Canavale, so yes, quite an epic fail.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “'Superintelligence' is not a term I'd use for whoever greenlit this piece of crap.”
11. Hubie Halloween (Netflix) – I don’t think that Hubie Halloween was anywhere near Adam Sandler’s worst movies ever, and probably not even his worst for Netflix – although there have been some VERY bad ones. The problem is that any opportunity Sandler was given in this movie to show he can deliver something other than “more of the same” had him instead resorting to the physical humor that appealed to his fanbase. And yet, it wasn’t even the worst movie to come out that week it debuted on the streamer. (See below.)
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “A perfectly fine Netflix movie, not something I’d ever want to have to sit in a movie theater watching with others.”
10. Max Cloud – This sci-fi-action-comedy didn’t have a terrible premise – I mean, I enjoyed it in all three Jumanji movies -- but it was marred by being such a monumentally badly made movie that stars one of the one actors in the business, namely Scott Adkins. Set in 1990, Adkins plays the title character in a video game, in which a teen girl finds herself transported as a character. If you wondered what a Jumanji movie would look like in the hands of a completely incompetent cast and crew, well, here you go.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Pretty awful, a bad faux video game movie that should have had its plug pulled.”
9. The Stand-In (Saban Films) – Not to be outdone by her frequent co-star Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore threw out all of the love she’s garnered from previous movies and her new talk show by playing dual roles of a raunchy comedy star best known for her pratfalls (so kind of a cross between Sandler and Melissa McCarthy?). Barrymore also played her nearly identical stand-in who didn’t get as much acclaim but gets to stand in for her famous lookalike when the latter goes on a bender and ends up hiding in her mansion for five years. Not sure why Barrymore thought this would be a good way to put her back on the movie screen, but yikes… one of her character’s big gimmicks is falling face first into a pile of horse shit – not funny and just plain gross.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Guarantees Barrymore a double-dose Razzie nomination.”
8. The War with Grandpa (101 Studios) – For whatever reason, I decided not to review this Weinstein Co. cast-off family comedy starring Robert De Niro and Uma Thurman. Maybe that’s because I hated the movie so much I could barely get through it, and with a Friday review embargo, I just decided not to waste any more time thinking about it. So why didn’t it end up lower, you ask? I have no effin’ idea.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
7. Pearl – There have been some bad young adult romances over the past few years, and while I don’t think Bobby Roth’s is actually based on any existing book, it might as well have been, because it was very, very bad. It stars Larsen Thompson as a 15-year-old piano prodigy who is sent to live with her unemployed film director uncle, played by Anthony LaPaglia, who was so super-creepy in that role. I don’t remember much else, since I deliberately scrubbed my memory of this movie’s existence. Little did I realize that I’d be watching an even WORSE version of this movie a few months later.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “LaPaglia is way too good an actor, who deserves better than this.”
6. Black Water: Abyss – Another movie I watched late in the week and just didn’t have time or bother to review. Honestly, I remember very little about this. I think it involves crocodiles? Who knows, who cares? Not me or anyone else I expect. Everything about this movie was pretty bad.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
5. The Turning (Universal) – Probably the biggest studio movie to wind up on this list, and possibly the only reason I didn’t review this was because I interviewed the director, Floria Sigismondi (The Runaways), who is generally a pretty awesome artist. But I love the original source material on which this is based and seeing how much better Netflix’s The Horror of Bly Manor was a few months later just made me a little sore that a movie starring the great Mackenzie Davis with Finn Wolfhard and Brooklyn Prince could end up with one of the lamest endings of a horror movie in recent memory.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
4. Butt Boy (Epic Pictures) – Tyler Cornack’s comedy-slash-thriller was my worst movie of the year for many, many months until the three movies below it reared their ugly heads. Still, this one is pretty ugly as it stars Conack himself as Chip Gutchel, a man who becomes obsessed after a proctology exam so that things just keep vanishing up his own asshole. Yeah, I think my RT quote is fairly apt.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy.”
3. Buddy Games (Saban Films/Paramount) – The fact that Josh Duhamel’s directorial debut came out the same week as Superintelligence yet ended up lower on this list is fairly telling. It involves Duhamel and a group of his friends taking part in ridiculous competitions for money, and shows what happens when these friends reunite five years later to throw another Buddy Game. It was just very low-brow and disgusting and a not particularly funny take on the Jackass movies. There was scene that almost made me stop watching.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “To call Buddy Games moronic, idiotic or even asinine, would be an insult to morons, idiots or asses, who are also likely the movie's target audience.“
2. Sno Babies (Better Noise Films) – This poorly-conceived “Afterschool Special” that follows a high school senior named Kristen (Katie Kelly) and her ever-growing drug addiction was almost like a young adult version of Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream if just about everything about the movie was bad from the writing to the acting to just really horrible images that no one would want to watch or be put through. If the film just followed Kelly’s character, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, but it’s a narrative that follows a bunch of characters including a couple wanting to have a baby… and when Kristen becomes pregnant due to her being on drugs, well, you can probably guess where it’s going. The only movie this year that had me literally yelling at my laptop like a lunatic.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The people who made this movie should never be allowed to make another movie again.”
1. Dead Reckoning (Shout! Studios) – Scott Adkins makes his second appearance in the Terrible 12 with a movie in which he plays an Albanian terrorist. In fact, when I first heard about this movie and the fact it was directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, the cinematographer/director behind Romeo is Bleeding and lots of trashy action flickers from the Aughts, it made me expect something in that vein. Instead, this is another young adult drama set in Nantucket with K.J. Apa from Riverdale playing Adkins’ brother who falls for a local teen lush, played by India Eisley, who proceeds to chug alcohol in every scene. Oh, her parents were killed in a terrorist act… coincidence? I think not. Eventually, we learn that Adkins’ character is planning a terrorist act by blowing up a boat on the 4th of July, and that’s maybe an hour or more into the movie. And yeah, there’s a number of action scenes awkwardly shoehorned into the story as well… Adkins’ fight with a nurse trying to help him was particularly hilarious. But the fact that the movie is being sold as “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013” just makes the whole thing even more awkward and insulting. This one ends up in the “What on earth were they thinking, whoever financed this movie?” box.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley's character takes a drink.”
That’s it for this year…. Happy New Year and on to 2021!
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