#malewife this is 4 u

[dsc4]

cedric is developing his baking skill rn bc of his overachiever trait (🙄). but, since he was cooking next to his husband bol, cedric wanted to impress him. cedric failed. but! his failure endeared bol. bol is like “my malewife is suffering so bad omg </3 i gotta cheer him up <3” but it kinda looks like he’s making fun of him.

meanwhile bol’s excellent quality garden salad was just born a couple minutes ago and has to watch this exchange like “right in front of my me?”

[internetscenarios]

YESS cc!reader x tgc would go hard please do it NO pressure tho!! 💕

ok i had an idea for isaac,, IM SORRY I ONLY DO HIM OR YUMI i promise i will do the others soon

drunk driving ♡︎

it was a normal day for you, wake up, get food, do a stream if you had the energy.

today was a different day, your boyfriend isaac was hanging out at your house as the two of you wanted to get some stuff done.

it was a nice day together, you both went grocery shopping and had a cute little date in a cafe

tonight you had a stream planned, your viewers knew you were close friends with the group, but never knew why you ended up becoming friends

isaac had introduced you to them and you all grew close since then

“babe? i’m just about to start a stream, i think im meant to be drinking.”

you laugh softly, searching for him as he wandered around the kitchen, soon enough finding him.

“you should let me be in it.”

“what about your face being in it?”

“i can put my mask and glasses on.”

your mind hesitates, pouting slightly as you think whether you would want him causing chaos on your relaxed streams.

although both of you had been together for a while now, neither of you told your viewers. it would be a nice introduction stream, and also suprise everyone.

“okay fine. but you can’t be screaming into my microphone, my streams are more relaxed than yours.”

he rolls his eyes, yet nods and smiles as he looks down at you.

(🤤🤤)

soon enough the stream was starting, isaac was still downstairs cleaning up as you welcomed everybody and let people join.

you were playing american truck simulator with yumi, tanner, and soon to be isaac. but you didn’t mention that and would let isaac come in whenever to surprise your viewers a little.

once you joined the vc, you were suddenly met with yumi angry about how he couldn’t exit a parking lot, and tanner laughing.

“y/n, is mr 6’2 joining us?”

“he should be, hes just cleaning downstairs.”

“malewife!!”

you giggle, reading your chat as you opened up the game. the call was deafened so you could answer questions from your viewers.

mr 6’2???

is shaquille o’neal in ur house??

WHO IS 6’2 THEY ARE TALL

as you giggle, leaving your viewer’s confused and looking for answers you start up the game.

“so i have to take a drink everytime i crash??”

yes

YES

drunk y/n time oh no

you laugh, when suddenly a notification of a donation comes through

isaacwhy donated 20$: “ill be up in a minute, u look good tonight :)”

the donation reads out, which leads you to rub your forehead in annoyance but amusement

“isaac you can just text me!”

this leads your chat practically screaming at you.

ISAACWHY???

WHY IS ISAAC HERE

HE IS MR 6’2 WHATTTT

you rolls eyes, undeafening in discord and getting onto the game.

within the span of 5 minutes isaac wasn’t up, but you were focused on driving and desperately trying not too crash; in which you failed and had already had 4 sips of your drink already.

suddenly, you feel a strong bicep go around your neck playfully. it was isaac, he wasn’t actually hurting you, just faking it for the stream

“chat i will literally kill her.”

he say’s playfully, with you playing along and saying some muttered “noo” and “helpp!”

Y/N NO

POUR YOUR DRINK ON HIM

RUN

he laughs, letting go of you as he stands beside you, only his body in view

(😫😫)

height difference check when??

“let me move my chair, out height difference isn’t that bad.”

you move your chair, standing next to isaac. your full body and face was in the the camera view, while isaac practically towered over you.

you laughed, getting back in your chair, as isaac crouched down next to you with his mask and glasses on.

soon enough, you had crashed about 50 times and isaac was your servant on getting you another drink.

“do you need another drink?”

“yessss”

“too bad you’re not getting it.”

“babee..”

your drunken self not realising that petname had slipped out, you both tried to keep the relationship lowkey throughout the stream.

but your intoxicated brain had slipped up, causing the chat to go wild.

babe??

EXCUSE ME

bro called him babe

y/n and isaac marriage when??

you laugh, reading your chat with your head spinning.

“when are we getting married?”

“i thought i was already your malewife?”

a few giggles come out from you, hearing tanner screaming down his mic that him and isaac were already married.

soon the stream ends, and you flop your head on your desk.

“come on babe, you can’t fall asleep there.”

no response.

he sighs, lifting you up with ease from you chair and throwing you over his shoulder, which might’ve been a bit heavy on your head from dangling upside down.

within minutes you were placed in your bed, changed into more comfortable clothing and fast asleep.

ok lowkey i do not like this at allARGHH someone tell me if its good or not 😢

bit of fluffy isaac at the end thooo

[mysterycitrus]

Top five DC ships?

oooooooo fun q

1. dickroy — the Guys. trauma bonded to all hell. would die for one another cause they’ll kill each other. something is very wrong with them. they share custody of lian and like twelve adopted teenagers.

2. dickkory — thee bi4bi, t4t couple. the sun and the moon. red and blue. starcrossed lovers. the princess and her malewife. nobody is doing it like them.

3. rosecass or rosecassie — i enjoy lesbian conflict

4. yj polycule — sometimes u just gotta kiss ur best friends on the mouth

5. bruce wayne/divorce — this man has fumbled every baddie he’s ever had. i need him to be elon musk levels of divorced

[agentdilf]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get headcanons for Medic, Sniper, Spy, and Heavy (or if that's too much, just Spy and Medic) in a relationship with a reader that smokes pot? Like, the mercs just walk into their s/o's room and they're hitting a pen or smoking a bowl and it's super awkward or something. Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day

ty anon 4 the request ! sorry this took so long, weed is a bit of a weird topic 4 me, but this is a silly request ^_^

Medic

I don't think he'd care all that much- A bit of him had a hunch because you subtly smell like it. The first time he walks in on you, it's awkward silence, and with a slight nod, and a quiet "carry on" he leaves you to it. I don't think he'd like the smell at first, so he'd buy you edibles if you're chill with it. If not, he'll slowly let himself get accustomed to it, because he loves you, and he's not giving you up for something as silly as weed. Plus, it's not that bad once he gets used to it, since you smell like it. He likes your smell. Take that how you will.

Sniper

This man smokes weed, I fear. So he doesn't give a fuck, honestly. Yeah, it's awkward the first time he walks in on you, but he lets out a small chuckle, and jokingly asks for a hit, but to his surprise, you let him. So yeah you guys just smoke weed together now. Sometimes u kiss 💋

Spy

Oh my god this man HATES weed. Like, it's not a deal breaker for him, but at first, he STRONGLY dislikes it. And he definitely lets you know the first time he walks in on you. "Ugh... Mon amour... You really smoke this?" He just thinks it's unclassy or whatever, in his french brain. Once he starts turning around to it, he lets you begin smoking with him in his smoke room, and you occasionally join him on his smoke breaks to take a hit from your pen. It's like a bonding experience.

Heavy

I don't think he'd care, either. Wife this man up! He is a malewife I fear! He'd help you with snacks, comfort items, hell, will go with you to buy it. However, the first time he walks in on you, it's... Very awkward. You're both in a staring contest atp 😭 "Ah... You smoke weed? Heavy does not mind. Just did not know." He's like a warm blanket and cuddles you if you get sleepy. ❤

I HOPE THESE ARE OK!!! THEY WERE A LITTLE RUSHED AND IM SORRY IF THEY'RE OOC IM SLEEPY 💔 also sorry snipers is a little short i didnt rlly know what else to write ty again for the request this was actually rlly fun 2 write!

[jrueships]

'he's a distraction in the locker room'

in short, diggs is Josh's poor little meow meow

[sarbcat]

this is my ship post, here are literally all of my favorite genshin ships with a quick explanation for each hetero jealuc - its my og. its my babygorl of ships. they have so much canon shit- and like. ok, high school jealuc and theyre best friends who both harbor more than just friendly thoughts for eachother but theyll never say anything... buff boi x buffer gorl what more can i say alberose - i know a lot of people arent fond, thats ok, i think its just cute. he protects her :) (she doesnt need it. but doesnt say no.) thomaya - i just think theyre cute :) shes his sugar mommy! <3 i like him and her brother more though fischnett (?) bennett/fischl - he plays along with her shit and thats adorable... he just thinks shes a cutie <3 and shes a total tsundere dont @ me chilumi - fuck u theyre cute... she beats him and he loves it ok.... tis.... so cute... 'hey girlie hold still' :) he is her little housewife and thats adorable scaramona - they're astrology spouses... she deffo reads his palms and he gets all sweaty bc omg shes touching my hands !!!! ittosara - fight me tengu!!! thats all a lot of the traveler ships r cute too. aether + amber, yoimiya,,, lumine + like- diluc? cute and oh my god i have a type oh no homo kaebedo - cute as fuck.... dont @ me... he draws him!!! cytham - they fight eachother on shit but they would be cute... cute as hell!!! kavetham - they would kiss. roommates my ASS kazuscara - they put the old conflict aside and just are there for eachother <3 thomato - i said it earlier and ill say it again, sugar daddy x housewife its cute as shit! malewife x girlboss but the girlboss is also a man tomokazu - old besties. kazu was DEFFO inconsolable when tomo died i wish he lived oh man im sad now wtf.... xiaoven - venti plays the song that kept xiao alive, theres so much angst there that i could curl up in that angst pit and DIE ayalumi - honestly i just fucking fell in love with all of their interactions - the 'keep your eyes on me traveler' haha! so cute hit me with a van pls beigguang - it takes a true diamond to catch the eye of ningguang and beidou is 24 karat <3 they fuck and thats awesome... love them!!! eimiko - mommy? sorry... mommy? sorry... mommy? eulamber (?) - i dont know what this ones called but KISS PLS :) jeanlisa - they are wives but im still a jealuc fan first and foremost im sorry :( --- thanks 4 coming bestays

[jiminrings]

president rings how would u arrange ur jungkooks from most loser to least loser 😣

NEOWWWWW this is a bit of a difficult question 😐😐 here's my list for now (wud change depending on the hate i have for them in my heart) but pls do feel free to send ur own bc loser levels in my town r very subjective!!!

1. stemkoo AND 478jk (one was born a loser n the other acquired being a loser)

2. pink sapphire (i love u malewife)

3. hlwwf (yes there is character development but he is STILLL a lewser)

4. fifth wish (nawt a loser i think he is jus straight-up an ass)

[evb0]

procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green

probably like 23? 25?

hes actually bi he told me himself

afab he/they boyflux sue me

lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)

orphan sorry i dont make the rules

his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk

hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.

ted spankoffski

like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink

so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan

amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck

has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)

doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)

him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted

max jagerman

im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18

im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab

hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women

everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)

he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY

his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth

stephanie lauter

genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me

pan thats cannon she told me xirself

does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose

the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese

will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun

hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it

pete spankoffski

he/they afab i dont make the rules

bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)

actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it

nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)

ex-brony

richie whateverhislastnameis

afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights

gay mlm yes

undertale enjoyer

nge enjoyer

discord mod in an anime server

owns several body pillows

xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand

ruth whateverherlastnameis

afab she/they

omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta

biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)

got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list

fav show is heathers

heather m kin i dont make the rules

grace chastity

afab she/her

bi

liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell

i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount

not even arson wise but like

a firebug

tinky

i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want

all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever

i do he/him tho

tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)

the "youngest" of the siblings

boy jerry

i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle

[mjolnir-brick]

SVT as Demigods

1. Scoups

• Obv Zeus son poor bby - plot twist he's a descendent of Jupiter but dumbfuck Zeus either forgot or doesn't know so he snag Cheol mom and baradaboom is this self incest fic??? Who knows

• Selfless, actually a cinnamon roll, but still intimidating and strong asf

• Jason vibe but more idiocy bc they're SVT

• Able to command the room but still scared of soonyoung s teaching(?) he once said that he'd rather jin the vocal team bc the performance team seems too disciplined

• Just like how Jason is low-key scared of Percy

• Jaw

2. Jeonghan

• Aphrodite son bc beauty(1) and he's sly af have u seen gose - maybe roman so venus instead

• Not as much as a sweetheart like piper bc have u seen gose

• He literally looks good no matter what clothes or hairstyle u throw at him

• Also he can talk u into going into jail effortlessly if that's not charmspeak idk what it is

• Prob likes to judge ppl s relationship but hates it when someone does it to him

• Unlike piper jeonghan has more confidence he knows he's pretty and he's not afraid to use it as a privilege

3. Joshua

• I'd say Demeter - maybe the roman side

• Petty bish we all know

• Combine him w jeonghan and dude will conquer the world w/o moving an inch

• Sunday morning screams Demeter idc

• Honestly idrk what else is similar but anyways

4. Hoshi

• I'd say Poseidon - maybe Greek

• Chill dude but also very energetic at times

• Big three bc he three leaders too

• Why not hades? Bc I think he's too cheerful for that

• But tbh imagine he's son of hades then raising a bunch of undead armies and commands them to dance Macarena and aju nice💀

• It's fine bc he can ask the fishes to do it instead

• Can be scary at times

• Yeogi ocean views 🌊🌊 ��️

5. Jun

• Maybe Dionysus - def bc there's no way roman camp can handle him

• Bc both are smartass but too lazy or unfocused to do it

• Yk he's weird not even Dionysus god of insanity could understand him

• Tries to hug Dionysus one(1) time only to be soaked in wine instead

• Somehow managed to befriend Hermes and Hephaestus

6. Wonwoo

• Maybe Athena - maybe on the roman side

• He's intelligent he diligent he likes to read

• Has many strategies too

• One of the brains in gose

• Doesn't really see Athena as his parents but as his discussion collage instead

• Sometimes cracks up w no reason

• Blind w o his glasses

7. Woozi

• Obv pluto duh - not mars bc I think roman camp is more suitable for him

• Is also a descendent of Apollo that's why his music side is very strong

• Big three three leaders

• Is also secretly a sweetheart like his father but is very bad at showing them

• Really pale skin that either scares or amazes ppl

• Imagine him raising the undead to sing back vocal for him lmao

• Probably finds the quiet in hades palace relaxing

• Def loves Cerberus

• Gets along well with Persephone somehow and maybe have a beef w Demeter instead

8. DK

• God of music babyyy - Greek side bc Greek is more carefree

• He slays and he knows it

• Have u heard his vocal range

• Doesn't like fighting and prefers healing altho he can just scream and the enemies will stumble instantly if not dead

• Prob calls Apollo to rant once a week and Apollo loves it

• A literal sunshine. Give him smth he likes and he'll light up instantly also literally

• Doesn't like underworld but adores Cerberus

• Put him beside the son of Poseidon and son of Nike he'll be unstoppable

9. Mingyu

• Hestia son

• Personally has a beef w Hecate son bc he's always getting pranked

• Bc he likes to take care of PPL

• He cooks he cleans he listen he malewife harder than ur head

• Don't anger him tho or u'll be thrown out of any safe space u have

• Petty also so if his friends tease him he'll prob make their pillow warm all the time

• No one expects him to be son of hestia bc of his bulky body but once they know him they'll be like awwwww

• Goes twice a month to underworld just to spend time w Cerberus

• If jihoon let's him he'll prob go there twice a week

• Always put up the campfire bc he likes to talk w his mom

• SMH managed to befriend almost everyone in the camp and their respective parents both god and human

10. Minghao

• Hecate son

• He be magic swoosh swoosh

• Is playful but covers it w stoic face

• Likes to prank his friends by playing w the mist

• Idk what else

11. Seungkwan

• Son of Nike

• We all know he's petty af and likes to win

• Very competitive and hates losing

• Very energetic and weird just like Nike

• Wears Nike everyday everywhere and is powerful in it

• Prob has a hawk as a pet

• Speaks to his Nike shoes at times

• Is also competitive w his mom

12. Vernon

• Hypnos s son

• Have u seen ttt gose episodes bc boy sleeps all the time

• That one time nana tour editor has to put Vernon is alive subtitle

• Sleeps through chaos is his specialty

• Either no energy or seagull noises

13. Dino

• Ares son - not mars bc ares is more unhinged and so are dino

• Again dude is very competitive

• Likes to ignite wars

• Often seen in the crime scene either participating or laughing or filming or all of the above

• Has a personal war w himself (read: Pi cheolin)

• Knows his place tho so sometimes stops fights

• Fights w ares regularly

[paulmcf4rtney]

Hiii! I was wondering if I could ask for the Beatles little head cannons/Blurbs where the reader is an author???

-Also I really like your works <3

Of course my love!! (I very much apologize for how short it is ☹️☹️)

Anon asks for Beatles hcs where reader is an author!

And THANK U SO MUCH!! that really means a lot to me <333

———

John

-Definitely likes children books, or at least books from his childhood.

-Alice in Wonderland is his favorite.

-The biggest reader of the 4.

-If he found out you’re an author he’d 100% would beg you to write a book about him.

-Probably finds it very attractive that you’re an author.

-John cannot take anything seriously for the life of himself and you.

-Would read your drafts with a joking pompous tone.

-“Mmm, this one just isn’t right! Where is the extra details!?”

-Makes silly faces to really contribute to the act.

-You giggle at his comments “critiquing” what you write, John constantly tries to lift your mood with his playful words of encouragement, and you love it.

Paul

-Appreciates novels and history.

-Just like John he’s a bookworm.

-He would definitely buy you a fancy type writer for your birthday, knowing you’re an author and all.

-You love the gift and you were excited about it.. But you were confused on *how* to even use it.

-You’ve of course used a typewriter before but not something this fancy.

-“I appreciate the typewriter Paul, but.. All of the buttons are confusing.”

-He’d stand behind you while you’re in your chair and guide you to each button, explaining what it does.

-Literally right in your ear. His voice could make you fall asleep you won’t lie.

-Your face would be red as a fucking beet. You thank him for the help and give him a kiss on the lips before digging right into writing.

George

-Into autobiographies or anything similar.

-George was excited and curious when he realized you were writing an autobiography and he’s in it.

-This sweetie pie would be bringing you cups of tea in the morning during your work hours or when things get particularly stressful.

-You thought your life and what’s going on would be easy to write down. But unfortunately you still get writers block.

-Especially when you fear that your life is boring and that no one will actually read what you’ve wrote.

-George would try to soothe your worries by reassuring you that your life story is plenty interesting.

-“But ay don’t rush it, this is about your life ye know.”

-You nod in agreement. His thick accent and toothy grin makes your heart melt as you continue with your book.

Ringo

-Likes fantasy books!

-He was always in his room sick a lot as a child and used fantasy to escape.

-He’s literally your #1 fan of your published books.

-Even if it’s not a genre he likes he will still read it and even buy multiple copies.

-You know, just to show how much he loves you. :)

-Ringo is such a malewife sorry not sorry.

-You also started to write positive articles about the boys, especially knowing what people and the press have been saying about Ringos appearance.

-You’d write a billion articles combatting the negative ones if you could.

-“Is my nose really that big?” Your heart broke, it just wasn’t true!

-“No Rich, your nose is perfect, and so is everything else about you, don’t read any of those snobby articles!”

-You could tell your comments made a difference in his confidence and the articles you were writing. It made you happy.

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group H, Round 4, Poll 1:

Propaganda under the cut

Odysseus

literally the EPITOME of these. ive read the odyssey and i will tell u it is literally just him making up a new elaborate fake identity for like every single person he meets. even his own father and wife 😭😭 just for funsies or what idek. he literally does not tell anyone anything gatekeeping any and every gifts + knowledge the gods are given. im not joking his story is basically 90% this malewife just gaslighting people and gatekeeping stuff the gods tell him AND FINALLY FOR THE GIRLBOSS he sees the guys whove been essentially harassing his wife for like 10 years and just??? shoots all of them with arrows?? and he does it in STYLE too he comes as a beggar then the suitors r all trying to use odysseus's bow (they cant) and hes like oh i may just be a beggar but. let me try. and then uses it and instantly shoots someone in the head GIRLBOSS

Medea

Her husband divorced her so to get back at him she burned his new bride alive, murdered her own children and casually escaped justice in a chariot pulled by dragons and *made from the sun.* She is iconic and I love her.

propaganda from @apollosgiftofprophecy

Princess with Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, granddaughter of the Titan of the Sun, Helios, and Priestess of Hecate, the literal Goddess of MagicStarts out a classic fairy tale (with a few murders in the mix for flavor)Jason (the man/husband she sacrificed EVERYTHING for) thought it would be totally alright to cheat on his sorceress wife with some princess and - double whammy - he planned to keep Medea as his mistress after he married this random princess!When she confronts him, he shows his true colors as a world-class bastard and she reminds him that he's only still alive, and only completed his quest for the Golden Fleece, because of her. (WHICH IS TRUE)To get back at him, Medea orchestrates the death of said princess (and indirectly the king's too, whoopsies :) ) by sending a beautiful dress for her that was laced with poison that caused the princess to catch on fire, and also killed whoever touched her (the king)She then murders her and Jason's two kids (after some emotional dilemma because she actually cares about them while Jason Does Not) and exits the kingdom In Style - how? Like this:Rises into the air on a golden chariot pulled by dragons given to her by Helios When Jason says the gods with avenge him, she tells him "lol, good luck with that oathbreaker!" and flies off into the night Like A Bossa little more context here: Jason's godly patron was Hera, the literal goddess of family and marriage. And he was going to abandon his children and break his vows to Medea.Also, she never is punished for any of this stuff, meaning her actions have the (reluctant :) always good to be morally gray) approval of the gods. She's one of the only nuanced female characters in Greek Mythology, and by god is she interestingThis, my friends, is why Medea is the ultimate Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.

[motorway-south]

Choose Violence: 3, 6, 7, 16, 24

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr:

i strategically avoid bad takes on tumblr but the other day someone told me not to give credit to the hotd writers for making criston dornish bc he was dornish in the book. can u imagine if in the 4 lines of page space criston has in f&b grrm was like "btw he's dornish and stuff"

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

specifically the jb's who erase cersei and make jb into a high school au "enemies" to lovers and also briennes a girlboss. also i dont really like any arranged marriage ships like that but esp not helaegon jace/baela or luke/rhaena they're just boring to me

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

in hotd it's aemond lol. idrc that he's your communist daddy dom malewife he was mean to larys.

in asoiaf i dont hate any characters i have grace and forgiveness for everyone. but there are a certain number of dany stans that make me want to tear my hair out

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

fire and blood

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

most eyeroll-inducing is anything that has to do with character/actor physical attractiveness (arya is actually more beautiful than sansa bc she looks like lyanna, daenaera velaryon is the most beautiful 6 year old in the world, emma d'arcy is too "manish" to play rhaenyra etc.)

[enragedbisexual]

so what , u mean 2 tell me *im* gonna have 2 be the one 2 write the first poly / ot3 fic 4 the horror comedy malewife + girlboss comical GENIUS show that literally got canceled 5 yrs ago???? ugh . y must i always carry the burden 😪

[alectothinker]

YAY YAY YAY i love hearing abt peoples ocs!!!!!! 💯 ❤️ 💘 🎂, u can pick and choose who u answer for

LUV U TILLYYY Ok answering these 4 my scifi-fantasy nightmare girl colt!

btw while ur here drop me some oc asks!!

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know..

-> ok mini lore dump time >:)

--- freelance prop maker / art team / backstage person

--- she also owns a fuck off huge magically-powered rifle. for her other job

--- she has a dog (?) (not really a dog) (actually an ancient dog entity (tiangou) in low power mode bc they got injured by the BBEG) (and took refuge at colt's place bc she's got Food) (ie she is a spare monster parts hoarder and this is like an unlimited snack pantry for Magic Dog)

ok this is getting v long so more under the break!

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

--- super extremely tenacious (also can come off as Stubborn)

--- "resourceful" eg mansplain manipulate malewife (yes this is positive)

--- huge detail noticer (real) (very helpful when she's trying 2 tinker w stuff)

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

--- paying rent

--- Getting Good at what she does (both stagecraft and pew pew)

--- however she Will be distracted by whatever shiny new thing comes her way so its whatever takes her attention hostage in the moment

--- also pissing off heptane, her "boss"

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs?

--- girl idk anything about tarot or astrology however this bitch is theoretically a 20 y/o scorpio sun (astrology diagnosis is based on vibes & open to constructive criticism) (would b very cool if someone w tarot or astrology knowledge psychoanalysed her for me <3)

THIS WAS SO FUNN thank u again 4 asking 💓

[gamesderesmes]

MY THOUGHTS ON STARDEW VALLEY BACHELORS

Alex

first impression : ok kinda rude,but ok .

he likes sports, Basic.

Now: cute little fella, ilike him lot , but, like, get a job.

Headcannon: He would definitely encourage you to go to the gym and play sports, likely that he would pick on what you are eating.

Marriage: He cooks, feed the Animals and help with the crops.

Helps a lot 120/10

Summary: Basic and safe choice, not bad.

7/10

Elliot

first impression : rich and fancy man, Oh is he a writer? That's good i guess

Now: broken and fancy man

Headcannon : I believe he has the biggest ass in all of stardew valley .

He definitely has the best hair, period.

He speaks sophisticated, probably uses "slang" that no one knew or used millennia ago.

Marriage: Fix the fences, give the pet water and feed the animals, He can cook some fancy dishes too.

Installs a small library,And that's it, I believe that a lot of the wedding is him taking you to the beach to relax and get inspired.

Summary: peaceful and lovely, But you'll have to practically support him, being a writer is beautiful in theory but very unprofitable.

if you like a victorian vibe (like lysandre in sweet love) chose him.

06/10

Harvey

First impression: nerd,Basic of a doctor character, caretaker and Responsible .

Now: Very cool that he likes planes, it takes away that he is "just the doctor"

"not everyone can achieve their dreams and that's just the way the world is".

I like him a Lot, I don't understand how anyone could not like him.

Headcannon : He loves his mustache, a lot. If you were a man he would definitely be very happy to help you take care of your beard.

The "first time" he would be incredibly nervous, hands sweaty and stuttering.

Think of someone furious and worried when you don't come home by 11 pm.

Marriage : on the first date he takes you for a hot air balloon ride?! How awesome is that?He's overcoming his fear to do something amazing together.

He cooks and work a good job that He loves

Summary: quality malewife material

1000/10

Alex

First impression : Typical rebellious teenager: skates,a Band and junk food.

he seems chilli and cool.

Now: chilli and Nice dude,responsible For your brother though he still gets into trouble.

Headcannon: When participating in any of his ideas, always have the ambulance number ready.

When he gets drunk he sure does vary between a crybaby or someone who thinks he's immortal.

He does his best not to swear, especially around his brother. He often makes up words.

He's the most oblivious of the group, so take it easy with him, especially if you want to flirt.

I like to think that Jodi taught him how to play the guitar.

He would definitely be a radical and playful father.

Marriage: First "encounter" was weird but.. ok? Well , young thing I guess .

He gets hired to play in a children's cartoon, that's so cute.

BUT

He is a little lazy and a mommy's boy , u want to be a "family man" , but don't work and want to complain about a dirty house?

The door of the house is useful, you can use it.

Summary: 10/10 If friend 4/10 to marry

Sebastian

First impression : daddy issues yehooo, get the f out of that Room

gothic /emo generic kid.

Now: ok i get ,Demetrius sure has a favorite, but that's no reason to throw stones at Linus, you banana.

Headcannon:

Sam doesn't like frogs, he likes frogs, he picks up the frog and throws it at Sam.

Having frogs in the bedroom is a cool idea until they "sing" all night.But if it pisses off Demetrius, Sebastian is happy.

Marriage: First dates are one of the best, but cigarette breath ...i can't take it.

"Second date": frog.

Marrying him, he helps on the farm and makes coffee or a fucking JEWEL...or a Bat wing..cool.

Summary: He is a good friend and a great romantic partner, but keep in mind that he will complain a lot about Demetrius or family issues.

6/10

Shane

First impression : RUDE! U CAN EAT MY COW SHIT, Gross stinky Man.

If someone said that he is Sebastian's father, I would believe him

Now: cool uncle i guess, should have been in therapy a lot sooner, its good that he's feeling well.

Headcannon: Honestly I have no idea where he got blue chickens.

he smokes a lot,like, really.

Marriage: The room he adds IS DIRTY? GO WASH THAT FOOT WTF

I don't want to eat what he cooks, he shouldn't even wash his hands .

a new chicken coop And that's it.

Summary: like...I neither like nor dislike him, but I feel he's a dirty guy, and I don't like dirt.

It's good that he's on the mend, but I feel like he's not ready to get married.

4/10

[pinchraccoon]

Pinch Reviews: Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

I hold a lot of love for Resident Evil 4, the original, that is. I'd been pretty interested in 4make (as it will henceforth be called) for large parts of its dev cycle, and after playing the original a mere six months prior, I felt that when I played the game near launch, I was pretty cognizant of changes and differences made to the game that would be felt either extremely positively or extremely negatively.

I am very happy to report that this game, despite it changing plenty, retains the vast majority of the spirit of the game, and remains extremely fun, replayable, and tense for its entire runtime.

I'll attempt to review the game in short and spoiler-free quickly here so as to not spoil any changes for anyone who isn't interested in hearing about such things. 4make makes excellent use of the modern hardware that it released for in order to provide crisp, satisfying gameplay, consisting of responsive gunplay, the same integral inventory management, and exploration of unique and intriguing areas that I would say, even to those who aren't fans of the series, but are looking for an "in" to the survival-horror genre, could very easily enjoy. At the end of the day, the game is still Resident Evil 4. All of the praise that one could give to that game can, by and large, be given to this game as well.

Now to discuss the changes made to this game. My listing of changes will not be comprehensive, as there are far more than I care to list, but those that I do detail will be in the interest of explaining the spirit of the changes at hand.

Graphical updates:

The game is beautiful. What do you want me to say. I can look at Leon Kennedy my beautiful malewife in better quality than ever before. This is a net positive. (although the graphical differences only provide a "different" experience not a "better" experience)

Expanded exploration:

RE4 had multiple sections that would incentivize the player to explore, but large portions of the collectibles were reasonably easy to miss. 4make seeks to expand on the exploration present in the original by adding a map with waypoints, markers, and other smaller quests for Leon to embark on in each major area of the game. Initially, I was split on these sections, however as the chunk of my psyche that requires me to pick up lots and lots of little goodies took over, I came to quite enjoy it. The increased focus on collecting and exploration can allow the player to upgrade their weapons more efficiently, without the stress placed on them to pick and choose upgrades that they'd keep for the whole of the game. I like this change, as you *can* ignore it all if you'd like, but if you want more stuff to do or more money to throw at your problems, you can do that as well.

The Parry:

Leon can parry with knives, so long as he has one that isn't broken. That's cool as fuck. You can parry chainsaws. Parrying an unarmed melee cuts the enemies' hand off. I love parrying. Good addition. (also it helps to alleviate some of the balancing issues present in RE4 relating to not having a lot of options in the close range.)

Ashley:

No longer tied to a health bar, Ashley now operates on a "downed" system that basically means that you can tell her to follow or stay, but if she gets hit, she's on the ground and needs to be picked back up, lest she be vulnerable to kidnapping or death. This alleviates some of the problems with Ashley eating all of your healing items through very little fault of your own. I like this change.

Boss fight tweaks:

Some fights are practically unchanged, like Menendez, while others are completely reworked, Like Ramon Salazar. Some are even just flat out omitted, like U-3. I'll refer to each and give a brief description of changes and whether I like them or not.

Del Lago: Removed some QTE elements in favor of real-time steering. Largely unchanged. Still fun.

El Gigante: Practically the same.

Menendez: Largely the same.

Verdugo: Pretty much the same, but Leon is more responsive now compared to the tank controls of old, so it is a bit easier. A-OK.

Ramon Salazar: Complete overhaul, unique arena, unique boss form, unique attacks. Nothing is the same. I'm kinda indifferent though.

U-3: Completely Omitted. Good Riddance.

Jack Krauser: COMPLETE overhaul, he is WAY fucking better in every conceivable way, narratively, gameplay wise, the whole way down. Whereas I would once dread Krauser's fight because it was a bit of a slog, now I hold the Krauser fight in high regard as perhaps the best narrative moment in the game.

Saddler: Doesn't suck ass now.

Ultimately I like the boss changes made quite a bit, very little that wasn't broken got "fixed" and I'm happy with that. The largest changes really come from the updated combat systems.

Story:

4make has a much greater emphasis on providing characterization to each of the characters, and provides a much greater narrative weight to what Leon, Krauser, Ashley and Luis go through. I would be willing to say that in terms of impact this game might win out for me, but everyone is entitled to their own take as to what were the "bette" story aspects individually.

The Regenerators:

This one is gonna be real specific, but bear with me. Regenerators are not scary in this game after about 30 seconds of having knowledge that they exist. First, the way they're introduced is changed from the iconic "thaw out" scene from the original, to them just, sorta being alive and active? It still spooked me a bit, as I was expecting the original scene, and I wasn't prepared to take one on, but I was quickly soothed once I learned that you can parry the regenerators. Being able to parry any enemy puts the player in a state where with reasonable timing and attention, most enemies who are parryable can do not a damn thing to you. This makes the Regenerator into more of a combat aspect, as opposed to the horrifying wall they were originally. It's a nitpick, sure, but this is legitimately my *one* issue with this game.

Overall, I'm willing to surmise that 4make is a pretty faithful, but extremely fresh modernization of a classic title, and while it works to bring the game to modern audiences with its updated graphics and mechanics, I don't feel that the experience is better or worse than the original. This isn't to 4make's detriment as much as it speaks to the unyielding quality present in the original Resident Evil 4.

Play the game.