#malaprop

[logandria]

My brother just told me his new laptop “runs like a glove”

…and then, when questioned, explained that, “you know, people compare things to gloves because gloves are… good?”

Yes… gloves good, brother

[thefandomcassandra]

Malaprop (4/9): Is It Another Friend to Lose?

mal·a·prop — /ˈmaləˌpräp/ (n) - the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo ” (instead of flamenco ). — He shouldn't be here. (Sequel to Champion)

Content Warning: unsanitary conditions, bullying, spoiled food

Mob wasn't particularly good at understanding people but even still...it was hard to form proper social skills when you spent the entirety of your life alone. Was it odd that he, a middle schooler, was living alone without his parents? Perhaps, but it's not as if he minded.

It was better this way, wasn't it? He wouldn't be a burden on them if he wasn't with them. He could better himself and not bring them down. Everyone was better off without him.

("I'll admit," a caterpillar notes from the milkweed near his bedroom window, "that I might have adjusted your life a little to my liking. My point stands, Kageyama: you are only afforded kindness because you are surrounded by people who protect you. Take those away, expose you to the cruelties of man, and if you can keep with your delusions I might call it an ideology instead of a farce.")

Mob wasn't smart, he wasn't fast, he wasn't strong. Mob was a background character, a mob, and one only had to compare him to his peers to prove that point.

The volleyball slammed into the ground inches from his feet. One of his classmates sucked on their teeth and sneered. "You just stood there like a statue."

"Sorry," Mob ducked his head. He had tried to reach for the ball but...he wasn't fast enough.

"Don't apologize. Jeeze. Just...do something." His classmate hissed at him, eyes angry and voice glass shards against Mob's skin.

He flinched and tried to not let it show on his face. They never liked it when he showed them that he was hurt.

Some of it must have shown though because his classmates rolled their eyes and walked off to talk to their friends instead of him. Mob exhaled and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of the awful soup of emotions bubbling beneath his skin.

His teacher had yelled at him for not knowing a math problem. He tripped and dropped his lunch on the ground. He had been chased by a dog on the way to school. This was only the latest failure in a day full of terrible events.

As Mob walked to the sidelines of the gym, he was tripped. Someone laughed at him. It was the new girl, Asagiri Minori.

She had been the inciting incident of a couple bad moments for Mob today. Maybe she was lonely and looking for friends. Maybe she didn't know how to interact with people either.

She was surrounded by their classmates though. They laughed with her—at him—and asked her about what her dad did and wanted to get to know her.

Still, she had to be lonely. Otherwise she wouldn't be acting out.

Nobody is that mean.

("You're too forgiving," a black cat hissed, then cleaned itself with its forepaws. "There are people in this world that aren't worth the shit on your shoe. They aren't misunderstood or sad or lonely. They're just vile, miserable bastards and you're going to have to learn the difference if you want to not get stepped all over.")

Read the Rest on AO3

[penhive]

Mrs. Malaprop

Mrs. Malaprop is known for mixing words and it is a literary device to generate humor

People have to slut (shut) their eyes.

Reach (reason) with your mind.

He is a shiny (shady) character.

I am filled with fur (feeling)

The earth has grawitty (gravity)

Morning beard (bird) floated in the sky.

He gave an inkry (angry) cry.

The country is a democrazy (democrazy)

Steal (stich) the buttons.

The priest stood on pupilpit (pulpit)

I am peaing (peeing)

I don’t read smoot (smut)

Liaison (lesson) is well learn’t.

Leeberty (liberty) is good for the country.

Good Mewning (morning).

I suckceeded (succeeded) in my ventures.

The cat is moaning (mewing)

The morning is plea-seent (pleasant)

I was wollcomed (welcomed) for the party.

It’s a pit (pity) that he did not make it.

She is wearing unklewts (anklets)

The stars shin (shine)

Go out of your cumfort (comfort) zone.

The skin is made of fish (flesh).

The meeting took place liver (live).

Good Moaning.

She grunted when she reached organ (orgasm)

Come whale (while) I am there.

He is carrying a pin (plan).

Six (sex) is good to experience.

Serenade (surrender) to your passions.

He signed (sinned) against God.

He is a fee (fish) out of water.

He is a cluckcluckold (cuckold) husband.

Freelosophy (philosophy) is good to ponder.

He drank whine (wine)

He is having cocklate (chocolate)

[achromatophoric]

Wednesday: Enid, I require a pedantic criticism concerning Thorpe.

Enid: Uhhh, maybe his mural in the Quad? It has three flying ravens, but don’t they normally travel in like, mated pairs?

Wednesday: Correct, though juvenile ravens may gather to form a conspiracy. Regardless, that is suitably trivial. Thank you, mi corazón. I will return shortly.

Enid: Hang on. Is that a pillowcase filled with door knobs?

Wednesday: Bars of soap. Xavier invited me to his room for “nitpicks and kill.”

Enid:

Wednesday: Did… I misunderstand his intentions? Shall I reject his offer?

Enid: Nope! Babycakes, you have fun. And don’t forget, it’s “Hulu and bang” tonight! 😘

— — —

Thanks to @caitlynskitten for suggesting that the nitpick be related to Xavier’s art.

[prokopetz]

A particular tendency toward malapropism that I've never encountered in anyone other than myself is that when I'm tired and distracted my brain sometimes gets its prefixes mixed up. Like, I'll be grasping for the word "neopronoun" and my brain will instead produce "micropronoun", which raises several questions.

[the-forest-library]

Books Undercover from Malaprop’s Books - Asheville, NC

[soundandvicios]

"You know, Quasimodo predicted all this"

One of the funniest among many funny scenes in The Sopranos.

Bobby and Tony play off each other so well, perfect delivery.

[existennialmemes]

Brain tried to say "that's just gravy" and "that's icing on the cake" at the same time. Ended up saying "that's just gravy on the cake."

Which, unfortunately, is the opposite of the sentiment I was trying to express. But wow, do I know exactly what I'm gonna say the next time I'm disappointed in superfluous ways.

[thefandomcassandra]

Malaprop (1/10): Do I Annoy the Worst of You?

mal·a·prop — /ˈmaləˌpräp/ (n) - the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo ” (instead of flamenco ). — He shouldn't be here. (Sequel to Champion)

Dimple was an old spirit with complex feelings and complicated emotions. He had seen everything from the rise and fall of great psychics to the first ever living power transference between a psychic and non-psychic. He had even seen the largest amount of natural psychics to ever gather in one area. All this is to say that his relationship with Reigen Arataka was a weird thing considering he used to be a spiritually lacking non-psychic.

Key words being 'used to be'. Past-tense.

See, against all odds, Reigen Arataka was now a psychic.

(He was being incredibly insufferable about it too.)

Reigen was a blowhard and a liar and a stubborn idiot who wouldn't admit his apartment was burning until the fire department pulled him from the wreckage. Suddenly awakening to psychic powers did little to change this aspect of his personality (even if he had become somewhat more willing to share whatever burden he was championing at the time, willingly or through empathetic bleed).

Psychic powers just meant he was a smug little shit about the few piddly tricks he could do now, instead of just being a smug little shit because he could pull the wool over idiots eyes with quick words and platitudes and fancy hand gestures.

Dimple was impressed, as much as he might be loath to admit it, at how fast Reigen had adjusted to being Awakened. His powers—no longer Shigeo's massive pool of energy—were significantly weaker than any of the psychics he regularly spent time with but that wasn't the strangest part of his whole deal. No, that award was reserved for how even the densest non-psychic could see every arc of his energy as he worked. Reigen's specialty was just that: his powers were flashy. Visible to anyone and everyone, a testament to how starved for attention the man wielding them were.

It was funny, in a pathetic way.

Speaking of...

"Hey Reigen?" Dimple made sure to hover in front of him, blocking his view for maximum irritation.

"Yeah?" Reigen flicked his gaze up at Dimple's face, a flicker of irritation cutting through his regular end of the day worn. Goal accomplished.

"Next time you take a job in fuckoff nowhere, make sure you take a job in fuckoff nowhere you can do on your own." He was, of course, well within his rights to bitch.

When a weak adult esper, a very strong middle school esper, a spirit, and a tangentially related psychic from the Rising Sun Psychic Union have to deal with four back-to-back urban legends, it's mostly on the powerful ones to do the heavy lifting.

(Not that it hadn't been funny watching Reigen haul ass away from the kuchisake-onna. If Dimple hadn't also been hauling ass—his and that Shinra Banshōmaru guy's—he might have had a good laugh about the whole situation. Reigen, trailing pink and green like streamers behind him, tripping over his feet as he almost cried. What a responsible adult.)

Reigen, as if he understood exactly what Dimple was complaining about, waved a hand dismissively. "It worked out, didn't it?"

"Shigeo was traumatized."

"It's a good stepping stone for his journey of physical improvement."

"You're full of shit." Dimple sniped. A flash of acrid nicotine flared up as he continued, "You know what I mean."

"Well I'm not planning on taking on anything that complicated again, if that's what you're asking." If Dimple wasn't dead and if Reigen didn't have a weirdly powerful natural barrier—likely a holdover from when he was using Shigeo's powers—he would have strangled him to death just then.

"Yeah?" Dimple floated over Reigen's shoulder and stared at the letter in his hands. "And what about that?"

"It looked important and official." Reigen rolled his eyes. "Who am I to deny a customer? Let alone one as prestigious as Asagiri." Greed rolled off that name, flickering rich alcohol fumes off Reigen's aura. Dimple shuddered a bit. Revolting. (Hypocritically so, but shut up.)

Dimple read the letter without speaking, eyes raking over every character on the paper. Then he huffed and floated back a little to laze in the air. "That's a trap."

"Eh?" Reigen snapped his head to look at Dimple, confusion and irritation bleeding together into a muddy thing that snaked around the spirit like fingers.

"Cash payout that big? No information on anything important? Details as sparse as your morals? That is a trap for sure."

"The hell you mean? I've had clients who give me less information than Asagiri." Reigen sounded affronted. Beneath his tone, his aura popped with flakes of glittering desire.

"Reigen, trust me," Dimple had to wait while Reigen let out a vicious peal of mocking laughter, "I know people like Asagiri. This money is a carrot. Whatever the fuck is the problem is a stick. And see how it's addressed to 'esteemed psychic'? No name, no personalization? I'll bet you this man has sent this invitation to any and all psychic in the greater Seasoning area to try and fix whatever's wrong. Men like this throw money at their problems, even if they're too big or too broken to fix."

Read the Rest on AO3

[lunar-years]

It is really very funny that Roy uses “prima donna” totally correctly in s1 only to be completely clueless going on about “pre-madonna” in s3, and when people use that as an example of lazy/bad/inconsistent writing & characterization maybeeee they are on to something. However! The alternative explanation is that Roy is just a little bit dumb sometimes. And I think he deserves to be a little goofy stupid <3 peace and love!

[penhive]

Mrs. Malaprop

Mrs. Malaprop is a fictional character who jumbles words. Here are some malapropisms.

She went for a panic.

Angles flew above the sky.

I am riteing.

I florked  her.

She rites poetry.

The flower blimied.

Don’t be limited with pussymism.

She moused me.

Fearies are a part of mythical literature.

Jonah was swollen by a willy.

I bothed my body.

The swan is sick.

She moodied the guitar.

I hired her for a leech.

Her anus is free speech. I emptied the bullets from the partridge.

I am peeing my bill.

God forgives sonic.

I fridiculed her.

I fucked my bill.

Orgasmic thoughts are circumcising me.

I have a flowthoughting.

God is freecarious with the prodigal son

My feather died.

Free me from poseimism.

I am a riter.

He introduced the meat.

I am shopping in the ship.

She is tintilizing me.

Luck is a moreical.

Finn time for me. Sex with her is a contonomy.

I listen with my years.

[excessivebookshelf]

Bookstore browsing 📚❤️

[winstein-nin]

Mario's Malapropisms

The idea sprouted when I noticed how some people misheard "That's-a so nice", a phrase where despite coming from Mario Kart: Double Dash, is more known for coming from New Super Mario Bros. (DS). Another famous one is "Mexico" when Mario said "Let's-a go". Since then, I had the idea that Mario could very well be saying "I'm attired" when he said "I'm-a tired", and so I rounded up various ideas on what other things Mario might say that could be misheard.

The three other ideas that I ended up doing aren't the proudest puns that I came up with, but I think it is serviceable in what I am going for. Do know that "kneaded" is such a common pun for "needed" that I'm not surprised that that bread-themed game inspired by Paper Mario used it at least once. "Hell odor" is probably the best of the three because I like the idea of Mario getting an unwanted surprise by Wario.

One thing I probably should have done for this cartoon is to use the not-quite-white colour as the background, because when contrasting the white background with the non-white on the characters, it gives them a bit of an off-colour, but oh well, that's something to learn from instead of dwelling on.

Thank you for reading.

[achromatophoric]

Enid walks up to find the gang stifling laughter, except for Wednesday and Yoko, who are varying degrees of annoyed.

Enid: Hi babe! Hey everyone! What’d I miss?

Bianca: Oh, just another Addams special. Now sit. This you have got to see.

Yoko: *grumbles* 😠

Divina: Kay, let’s start over for Enid. Wednesday, what are “Twizzlers?”

Wednesday: *sighs* Those intolerably sweet mockeries of licorice.

Eugene: And who’s “the Riddler?”

Wednesday: The passably clever antagonist in that comedic film regarding a wealthy vigilante in black.

Kent: How about “whiz?”

Wednesday: *rolls eyes* An individual who is particularly talented at something.

Bianca: Right. Now, Wednesday, what does someone have if they are incredibly charming and capable of easily romancing a partner?

Wednesday: My answer is unchanged. Jizz. They have jizz.

Enid: 😦

Yoko: 😡

Divina: And— *stifles laughter* — And all the times Yoko said she’s “full of rizz?”

Wednesday: *scowls* I find no humor in this. An Addams would never judge another for their atypical dietary needs. Tanaka is free to gorge upon whatever bodily fluids she craves.

Enid: Ohmygawd!! *covers mouth*

Yoko: For the last time, I AM NOT FULL OF CUM!!!

Wednesday: Tanaka, calm yourself. You are amongst, loathe as I am to admit, friends. Are you perhaps hangry? Do you require more semen?

Yoko: No! FUCK!!! 🤬

Everyone else: 🤭🤣😂🤣🤓🤣🤣

[prokopetz]

That audio post that malaprops "Five Nights at Freddy's" as "Five Fuckers at Uncle Fester's" has permanently altered both my vocabulary and my understanding of Addams Family franchise.