#malaphor

[theyuniversity]

[hasarmsandlegs]

This is a real a shot in the barrel. A fish in the dark

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

malaphors

[logandria]

My brother just told me his new laptop “runs like a glove”

…and then, when questioned, explained that, “you know, people compare things to gloves because gloves are… good?”

Yes… gloves good, brother

[certified-scoundrel]

It took me till my 4th read through of Good Omens to realize “either shit or get out of the kitchen” wasn’t just some smart people thing I didn’t understand- Its just a malaphor (a combination of two idioms, like ‘well burn that bridge when we get to it’) of “either shit or get off the pot” and “if you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

[weather-phenomenom]

i prpose a new malaphor

✨️kicking the hay ✨️

[egoriv]

[thenarwhalgal]

I am like a frog jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

[rainyclouds64]

"Stop and smell the roses"

Boring.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too"

Odd phrasing.

"Stop and smell your cake and eat it too"

New. Cool. Inspiring. Delicious. Perfect advice for a person who just baked a cake.

[theyuniversity]

[the-ellia-west]

Fun Malaphor of the Day

Biting up the wrong Bullet

[vampireopossum]

the early bird in the hand is worth two worms .

[moyavera]

I’ll bite the hand that rocks the cradle,

And I’ll burn the cradle, too.

I’ll bundle up in the center of the flames

Because hurting me, is hurting you.

I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it

And when I see you charging towards me,

I’ll douse myself in kerosene, scratch a match,

And light a cigarette.

I’ll shoot all your ducks in a row,

And I’ll roast them over a bonfire, and use your photos as kindling

I’ll skip rocks on the roof of your glass house

And when I collapse with it, I’ll bury you under the ceiling

I’ll burn away the parts of me made of you

And maybe that’ll stop the bleeding, cauterizing these wounds

I’ll be tender and fleshless, but I’ll heal

And I’ll grow skin you’ve never sullied, I’ll be anew

the fire stops with me

[beppadoo]

You can't lead a horse to water without breaking a few eggs.

[spoopy-rayvynnnox]

Ive started saying "im not the brightest fish in the barrel" recently and it wasnt until i got a shocked reaction that i even realized i wasnt quoting it correctly. Since then ive just been saying it cuz its funny lmao.

[perpetualphilomath]

Is "Eat shit, sherlock" a malaphor? I need to know.