#making me wish i was rui here....

[mizuribbons]

i am weak. on my knees.

[thoughtfulfiction]

Shift in the Routine

Author’s Note: Vibes are up from episode one of Hard Knocks starring Batman but I really wanted to write something angsty.

Part II

The morning started off with an entire 16 oz cup full of coffee spilling all over the kitchen floor. The brown puddle continued to spread and you watched in horror as the caramel frappuccino you’d just spent the last 20 minutes carefully curating to perfection went to waste. Then, your apartment key got stuck in the door, snapping in half so you had to make a call to your lovely landlord who charged you $150 to replace the key, and get the maintenance guy to come in and get your old key out. There went the money that you wanted to use to splurge on lunch.

Just when you thought you’d turned a corner for the better when you got off work early, your best friend Rachel called in a panic, putting an immediate end to the relaxing afternoon you had planned.

“Hi babe! I need you to do me a huge favor.”

You sighed, mentally saying goodbye to the Netflix binge on the couch with a fluffy blanket you were desperately looking forward to. “What’s up?“

She chuckles softly, breathing out a sound of relief that you were willing to help. “You know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?”

“What do you need Rach?” You bite out, your patience mostly nonexistent after such an awful day. Even her best attempt at buttering you up wouldn’t fix it.

“Okay, okay jeez. Who pissed in your cereal this morning? Anyways, I need you to run to my office and grab my other laptop. The one I have with me died and the tablet just isn’t cutting it right now,” you can hear her whispering to someone while you wait on the other end of the line for further instructions, “texting you the address as we speak.”

Your destination was 48 minutes away from her office, much closer to your job. Rachel owed you. Big time. “Fine. Be there in an hour.” You hung up a little in the midst of hearing her say “thank you” for the sixth time.

Rachel was an interior designer, working on some top secret project with a client for the last year, whose identity she refused to reveal, that was until today when she clearly had no choice. She’d apparently asked the client if it was ok for you to come to the house and they were clearly cool with it because the gate opened and the mansion you were faced with was unlike anything you’d ever seen. Every part of you wished you’d worn nicer clothes to work today.

Before you could even knock, your friend opened the door and ushered you in, plugging the laptop into one of the kitchen outlets and pulling up whatever she needed, thanking you again for saving her ass.

You looked around the room, exquisite marble covered the countertops, super cozy looking white swivel chairs and every square inch of the place just screamed luxury. “Who the hell lives here alone? Head of the mafia?”

Rachel snorts out a laugh, typing away without looking up at you.

“Not exactly,” a male voice is heard behind you, scaring you a little. And that makes Rachel laugh even more. “I assume you’re Rachel’s friend y/n.”

No fucking way.

You glance at Rachel before turning around to face him, nodding your head. “I’m so sorry your highness, you’re more…King of the Jungle, right? The mafia is more of a Bills thing.” All the secrecy made sense now and you turn towards her, your eyes full of disbelief.

“You signed an NDA didn’t you? Because I know you’re the world’s worst secret keeper and you’ve worked for the Bengals starting quarterback for a year and I haven’t heard a peep. Wait,” you look at him again, “does this mean I have to sign one?”

“Would you like to?” Joe deadpans, a hint of amusement pokes out behind his rigid exterior. He looks even better in person, you think to yourself.

“I have always wanted to sign one but I’ve never really been in the position to do that. But now…”

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Rachel cuts in, “he’s not gonna make you sign anything, you don’t even know the gate code.”

Waving her off for ruining your fun, you grab your keys and get ready to head home when Joe’s voice stops you in your tracks for the second time in the last 20 minutes.

“You don’t want water or anything before you go? I have an entire fridge just for Voss water. The glass bottles.” His voice is so relaxed, a calming energy surrounds him and he delivers his words with such a casual tone like it’s not one of the most absurd things you’ve ever heard.

“Are you being serious?”

“No! I’m kidding,” he laughs, a genuine hearty sound that you hope to never forget. You need to leave this fortress as soon as humanly possible before you find yourself attracted to the way the man breathes.

Rachel has long forgotten the two of you are in the room, completely in the zone while deciding between white oak and alder so the gorgeous man walks you out. Has he always been this tall? “Rich and funny. It’s very nice to meet you Joe.”

He’s about to let you leave, but he doesn’t want to regret not going for it. “Would you—maybe want to um, see each other again? When you’re having less of a bad day? I promise there will be no coffee involved, just a little dinner?” This is a stark difference from his earlier nonchalance, you can tell he’s trying to keep the nerves at bay.

“You heard all of that?” You look at him wide-eyed. Of course Joe freaking Burrow heard you complaining about spilling coffee everywhere and damaging your keys, not your finest moments. And somehow, none of that deterred him from asking you out. “I’d love to. Rachel can give you my number and I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, definitely.”

Dinner turned into dinner and a movie which turned into several nights of ordering in. That became FaceTime dates when he would travel across the country, helping him pick out clothes to wear for his foundation’s golf tournament or getting up at ungodly hours to answer his calls during Paris Fashion Week. Then he came home to lock in for the season but not before giving you a jump scare by randomly buzzing and bleaching his hair. Everything you thought you knew about him from the media or via word of mouth living the city, was nothing compared to actually getting to be with him. He was funny and kind and the most caring person in the world and you really owed Rachel your entire life for asking you to drop off that laptop.

Admittedly, you were nervous going into the season. You’d seen him go down last year in Baltimore, watching on tv like every other fan feeling helpless as his season ended. Now you’d seen first hand how much work had gone into not only getting him back to what he was before but transforming him into a better version of what he once was. And routine was everything. Workouts and meals were scheduled down to meticulous detail, meetings with his nutritionist and strength trainer happened frequently and the closer you got to week 1 the more dialed into the process he was. You just tried your best to navigate the controlled chaos.

Friday evening before you drove home after work, you made a pit-stop at Joe’s to drop something off. Having already decided that you were staying at your place for the rest of the weekend as to not be distraction, you placed your surprise in the fridge feeling proud of yourself before closing the door, meeting your boyfriend face to face.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” You playfully smacked his chest as he grabs onto your hands, enveloping you in a warm embrace. “I didn’t think I’d see you. Thought you’d be up to your eyebrows in New England film right now.”

“Took a break to grab a snack,” he sidesteps you to get to the fridge, taking a look inside before he spots the item you just placed in there. “What are these?”

You nod toward the tupperware in his hand, “open it.”

Joe carefully takes off the lid, looking at the contents inside like a kid on christmas morning, recognizing the look of his favorite dessert, with a twist.

“They’re protein pumpkin pie cups. The bottom is peanut butter.”

“Two of my favorite things. Well, three now, including you. Thank you.” You want to pretend to have a toothache at how sweet he’s being but instead you stand on your toes, inching your way up to kiss him on the lips and when you pull away to stand at your normal height he sneaks another kiss, pressing one onto the side of your head. It’s getting late and you really don’t want to leave, but you can’t mess up his routine. The next time you see him is after the loss, he’s understandably disappointed but also a little relieved to shake some of the rust off and come back more relaxed the next game.

Slowly but surely the losses piled up and they added more weight to his often slumped shoulders. You tried to lighten the load by being a constant presence, reminding him of how well he was playing, but the once comfortable, homey atmosphere that Joe created for you became tense. Long conversations about how the team could be better turned into shrugs, “I don’t knows” and exhausted sighs.

And now? The team was 4-8.

You’d been staying at Joe’s since the bye week ended just to make sure he wasn’t isolating himself and completely consumed by football. When he came home after the Steelers game you could instantly tell it was going to be a long night. As soon as he set foot in the door he dropped his bag off and headed up to his office without giving you so much as a glance.

Dinner was cold by the time he emerged again two hours later. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing. And you also didn’t want to just sit there and say nothing. The elephant in the room was doubling in size by the minute. “Joe, you—”

“If you’re about to say I played well you can just…not. I fumbled the ball twice and threw a pick. Three turnovers isn’t exactly a recipe for success.”

You closed your eyes, trying to come up with something that would get him to see things the way you did. “I know that, but you still fought your way back and you guys were so close to completing the comeback.”

His adam’s apple bobs uncomfortably slow as he swallows some of his frustration. None of this was your fault and he knew that. He just, really didn’t want to talk about it anymore today. He’d discussed it with the team, with coaches, the media. The game had ended long ago and he was still having to explain himself. Glancing at the clock, he let you know he was heading to bed and he was just…gone. No hug, no kiss on the cheek or anything. Which usually wouldn’t have bothered you but then you found him fast asleep with his back facing you. You climbed in behind him, treating him like the little spoon as you wrapped your arms around him but he easily removed himself from your grasp, covering himself with the blanket, mumbling something about not feeling like cuddling tonight. You had this overwhelming urge to cry so you turned away from him, squeezing your eyes shut, begging sleep to overtake you.

Waking up the next morning, you decide to shake off whatever that was last night. You texted Joe’s chef and asked him what was on the menu for tonight, thinking that a good meal and some lighthearted conversation was just the thing he needed. The work day was long and frustrating, some random sponsors came in to do some long winded presentation about the new health guidelines which was about as entertaining as watch Geno Stone miss tackles. One thing was motivating you to get through it and that was Morgan, Joe’s chef texting you that he would have everything ready when you got home and all you had to do was put your finishing touches on the evening.

All of the food was prepped, the table was set, candles lit and all you needed was Joe. You wait 45 minutes for him to walk in the door, looking surprised. “What is all this?”

“Nothing special, I just figured we could eat together before watching Monday Night Football in bed.”

The look on his face isn’t promising. “I already ate at the facility,” Joe says regretfully. He’s met with silence and it’s uncomfortable, worrying. “How was work?”

“I texted you,” your voice hardens, “twice. No response.”

“Wasn’t near my phone all day. We had a team meeting, guys said things that were on their minds and we had an open and honest conversation. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

You close your eyes, really trying not to cry about something so small. “Right, ok. How did your meeting go?”

“It was fine,” he shrugs, not divulging any other details and it irks you even more. Joe catches you massaging your temples, a clear sign that you’re stressed. “You alright?”

“I’m fine,” you echo his words, hoping he gets the hint, “had a long day.”

The quarterback places his hands on your shoulders, hoping to ease the tension in your posture. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“That’s rich,” you mumble.

“Hm?”

You grab his hands and pry them off of you. “I said that’s rich. You know, coming from you.”

He looks irritated but keeps his voice even, “what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you want me to open up and talk about my feelings when you’ve been an emotional brick wall the last couple weeks! I can barely get two words out of you. Joe, I’m trying babe. I respect your time and your space, I never stay the night on Saturdays or ask you do anything past 8pm and you still shut me out. Why is that?”

“You don’t think that doing all of this is a little much right now? Everyone wants something from me all the time. I just need a second to think, on my own. And I get it, you’re trying to help but you’re always here, pestering me about little things. I really don’t need you breathing down my neck and smothering me this week.”

You stare at him for a while, processing every word he just said.

You’re pestering him.

You’re smothering him.

Breathing down his neck.

That’s why he didn’t want you to hold him last night. He thinks you’re too needy, too clingy.

You’d done the one thing you’d been telling yourself you wouldn’t do. You had disturbed his peace, messed up his flow. In trying to be helpful and proactive, you had actually gotten more in the way. And he didn’t want you here right now. He’d just made that painfully clear.

“No you’re right,” you tell him, in your most normal tone, “I’ll stop with the questions. You probably have stuff to do so I’m gonna clean this stuff up.”

Joe nods simply, heading upstairs to crack open the Dallas film. A few stray tears escape your eyes as soon as he’s gone. You gave yourself 10 minutes to have a little cry and then the leftovers were placed in the fridge, dishes put away, candles blown out and everything back in its rightful place. Then you headed upstairs to Joe’s room to pack your stuff. He clearly needed space from you and you weren’t going to stay anywhere you weren’t wanted. Carefully placing all of your bags in the car, you took a shuddering breath before putting the keys in the ignition.

He woke up out of his sleep around 4am looking for you, feeling the cold space where your body was supposed to be. Chalking it up to you maybe having slept in one of the guest rooms after the tense conversation from earlier, he turned over and went back to sleep. You knew you had a problem, tossing and turning aimlessly, growing accustomed to being next to him, literally proving his point. The honeymoon phase was over and you desperately needed to pull it together.

“You don’t need to freak out, every couple goes through a rough patch,” Rachel tries to reassure you, digging into her bowl of popcorn as you lay face first, mumbling into your pillow. “Babe I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

It feels like there’s a ton of bricks weighing you down after one disagreement. “Rach you didn’t hear what he said. And the way he looked at me. He hasn’t even called or texted or anything. And I’m not texting him, that would be smothering or pestering or everything else he said. God I just, I don’t know.”

She hated to see you struggling like this. “Just give yourself some time and you’ll eventually know the right thing to do. You two are annoyingly into each other and those genuine feelings don’t go away because of a stress filled heated moment.”

She was right, all you needed to do was give him space. You dove face first into your job, attending every meeting five minutes early and staying later to get ahead on the next day’s to-do list. Joe did eventually text late in the afternoon, asking if you were coming over for dinner but you told him you had a work thing.

By day three of you having “work stuff,” Joe was calling bullshit. All of your responses were either dry, a simple “yes” or “no” or you kept it short and sweet. And he didn’t like it. Even though he prided himself in being able to compartmentalize, at home it felt empty and void of color and joy without you. He’d pushed you away and embarrassingly said some things that he didn’t even really mean, he just lashed out of exasperation and now he hadn’t heard the sound of your voice in almost 80 hours.

He needed to fix this.

“Can open the door? We need to talk.” He sounded out, in between semi frantic knocks on your door.

Slowly cracking it open, you let him in. “What do we need to talk about?”

His hair is messy and still slightly wet, like he ran here immediately after a shower. Seemed like this couldn’t possibly wait another second. “I’m sorry. I said things I shouldn’t have. I was upset because you’re right. The other night,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “you called me out and I didn’t want to admit you had a point so I dug myself a hole. And I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

You wanted to melt into his arms and forgive him. You wished it was that easy. But his words just kept playing over and over in your mind. “I appreciate the apology.”

“So…you’ll come home with me?”

“Joe I am home. And you have—a strict sleeping schedule. It’s getting late, I’m sure you’re tired.”

He wonders quietly how long you’ve been like this, giving robotic, monotone responses like you’re just saying things that you think he wants to hear. “It is getting late, but I’ve gotten so used to you being next to me that I don’t sleep as well when you’re gone.”

“Really? Cause I thought I was smothering you. Or what was the other one? Oh right, breathing down your neck.”

“Babe, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well you still said it! And now I’m wondering if I’m too much for you or how you had to drive over here instead of going home and getting your rest trying my best to be what you need,” you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

He seems visibly shaken, hesitantly steps toward you, reaching out to hold your hand to make your not going to disappear into thin air and leave him on his own. “Wh—what you mean?”

“I just, I really think I’m the one that needs some space. To figure out where the hell I even fit into all this. If I still want to fit into all this. I’m not saying I want to breakup I just think—you’re in a really pivotal time in the season and I don’t want to get in the way.”

Joe gives your hand a squeeze, “you’re never in the way. Actually it’s the opposite, I just wasn’t appreciative enough of everything you’ve done for me this year. But if you want space then, take all the time you need.” He swallows the lump in his throat and presses his lips to your forehead, uttering out that he’ll be waiting until you’re ready.

You take a step away from him as his soft lips linger on your skin whispering, “Joe…can you please go?”

He nods, slowly closing the door behind him. You imagine him walking away, climbing into his Porsche and heading home alone. Maybe this is how it should be, him over there, you here.

Tonight almost hurts more than the last time, so much so that the tears won’t even come. You’re just…numb. But you need this space to see if this life is something you’re ready to commit to. Because the last thing you want to be is another thing on his schedule.

[toomiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[tokutaiseichan]

Characters Awakening Lines Translations

After posting the lines for Jin and Rui, I felt like translating other characters too so here we are!

Please note that since I don’t have access to all of the characters’ lines, most of the raw lines are taken from the unofficial JP wiki. The texts are all there so if any of you notice any errors/mistranslations, feel free to correct me!

FROSTHEIM

Jin

Awakening: To think I'm receiving alms from my servant... Should I kneel in front of you? Fully Awakened: Trust is something that can be broken easily. Don't you dare come any closer than you already have.

Tohma

Awakening: This feeling… It appears that you want me to keep reaching out for the top. Is that how it is? Fully Awakened: With this power, we're one step closer to achieving our goal. And I'm* going to make sure we see it through the end. [*he's referring to himself as “ore” instead of his usual “”watashi” here]

Luca

Awakening: I devote myself to protecting the weak, for that is the path I have to take. Fully Awakened: I'll become stronger than anyone. I don't want to lose anything important to me一not anymore!

Kaito

Awakening: Could it be… even someone like me can get stronger too? Fully Awakened: You have done so much for me! This man, Kaito, will no longer run away!!

VAGASTORM

Alan

Awakening: This power is dangerous. Stay away from me. Fully Awakened: I don't really know what’s appropriate to say for this kind of thing, so… well… umm, thanks a lot.

Leo

Awakening: C'mere, Honor Roll~ I'll show you those guys’ ugly crying faces too~ Fully Awakened: Obviously. If I don't like someone, I’ll take matters into my own hands and create hell on earth just for them. There's no such thing as divine retribution, you know?

Sho

Awakening: Thanks for waiting. Well? What do you want me to do now? Say it clearly. Fully Awakened: Sure, okay. I got it. If it's your request, I'll make sure to at least listen to it through the end.

JABBERWOCK

Haru

Awakening: That sure hits the spot~ Now I don't even need those energy drinks! Fully Awakened: I'm going as far as this road is going to take me. I made a choice to walk down this path and it's not something I can just simply throw away.

Towa

Awakening: Heheh~ Did I get stronger? How interesti~ng. Fully Awakened: I wonder why humans are such foolish, whimsical, and pitiful creatures… yet they manage to still be so lovable?

Ren

Awakening: Doing something like this… Senpai, what are you planning? Fully Awakened: Geez! Even if you look at me with those expectant eyes, I know you'll just get tired of me right away…

SINOSTRA

Taiga

Awakening: Gyahahahaha! Aren't you one greedy little kitten~? But I don't hate that about you. Fully Awakened: A hasty greed and a sincere wish. There's no big difference between the two of them.

Romeo

Awakening: Come now. Is it really the time to be charmed by my beauty? Fully Awakened: I need to be perfect all the time一for that is my way of staying triumphant on this world.

Ritsu

Awakening: This will help in furthering my career. Fully Awakened: I definitely will become the best attorney in Japan, and then I shall ensure my father's name will be clear from all the alleged infamy he's received.

HOTARUBI

Subaru

Awakening: I’m so happy that you're right here beside me to watch me grow. Fully Awakened: “Ignorance is Bliss" and “Silence is Golden”. Don't you agree that it's unreasonable to try and break the admonitions we inherited from our predecessors?

Haku

Awakening: Oi oi oi. Don't expect too much from me, you hear? Fully Awakened: If our life were decided by the things we were born with, you bet I'd be the first one to kiss that kind of life goodbye.

Zenji

Awakening: It seems that my capability has bloomed yet again! Fully Awakened: I was wrong, my dear. As it turns out, dreams are not to be kept as just an idealized fantasy but something we should achieve with our own hands.

OBSCUARY

Edward

Awakening: Oh dearie me. If you whip my old bones any harder, I might actually die this time, you know? Fully Awakened: Sometimes a youthful folly can lead one into committing grave sins. So I hope that you keep this in mind一remain modest and cautious.

Rui

Awakening: Thanks a bunch for working hard for my sake~ I really mean it! Fully Awakened: It's fine if you ended up forgetting about me. I simply wish for you, of all people, to become happy.

Lyca

Awakening: Thanks. I want to show the current me to Neros soon. Fully Awakened: I’m going to work hard. I don't want to come back to those hellish days anymore.

MORTKRANKEN

Yuri

Awakening: This feeling! It stimulates my brain cells! Fully Awakened: I will pioneer the advanced road of genomic analysis for anomalies and establish myself as the best doctor in the world!

Jiro

Awakening: Thank you very much. I feel slightly better. Fully Awakened: I won't let you die. The reason I'm helping you? I don't really understand it myself either.

[toyaslove]

Hii can you do pjsk boys with a hall monitor s/o? (Just like An)

A/N: Hello! Of course!! Sorry for taking so long to write your request, but here you go! I hope you'll like it..!

Tw: none!

Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma, Akito Shinonome, and Rui Kamishiro x GN!Reader (separately)

Tags: @mccnstruck @hoshiilikesjojo @miya-akane @hinozukuu @akitosheart @toyaswif3y @sentientsoil – Come get your clumsy boys!

Hall Monitor!

Writing style: hc's and little scenarios

• • •

• • •

Akito Shinonome

あき~

▪︎ He isn't a good student nor a bad one. So u don't have to keep an eye on him because he's not a bother to you nor your Kamiyama High School

▪︎ He uses you almost as a shield. "Oh, you wanna prank the teacher? Yk, my S/O is the hall monitor, we could get in trouble"

▪︎ Mostly to... get out of trouble, yk?

▪︎ He can have his bold smile, and he looks like a troublemaker. When you met him, he made you think that. But he's actually... a really chill going? It's even surprising. Maybe because of his singing partner Toya!?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"Akito Shinonome. The coordination wants to talk to you" – you say, in your shift

You bring Akito out of his classroom. You bring him to a corner where nobody can see you.

"What's that for?" – Akito looks at you with a confused face.

"I just wanted to be with you..." – You wrap your arms around Akito.

"May I have a kiss?" – You ask.

"Tsk... as you wish" – Akito says, taking you by the waist and kissing you.

Even trying to pretend he didn't like that, he felt happy. Well, he's not a fan of classes, right? Skipping class with his S/O is one of the best things he could ever think.

Toya Aoyagi

とうやああ~

▪︎ He's the chillest of the bunch

▪︎ Literally >no worries<, you don't even have to look at him because you KNOW he won't do anything wrong

▪︎ He might get some bullies because of the way he is, so you should be attentive to that

▪︎ Literally always saying "Hiiiii!!~~👋" when he sees you in the hallway

▪︎ He's proud to say his s/o is the hall monitor.

▪︎ He already talked to An (as she's your hall colleague) to see if you like something or check your preferences (so cute)

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"Oh! Y/N! Hiii!" Toya says waving at you, coming near you

"Hey, Toya, what's up? Something wrong?" You say getting close to Toya as well

"I just wanted to see you. Today my class ends earlier, so I thought of waiting for you to finish your shift and we can go have lunch together, what do you think?" Toya asks with a small, yet sweet and genuine smile

"Sure! But it will take a while..." You scratch your head and look with a sweet smile at Toya

"Alright, I can wait for you anyway. I'll be waiting for you in the library. Now, let me leave you do your work... see ya, hun." Toya kisses your cheek, hugs you, and leaves, going to the library.

Always respecting you and your time as a hall monitor. What a sweet and attentive boyfriend, isn't he?

Tsukasa Tenma

おれのすた~☆

▪︎ Um I mean.

▪︎ You really scold him and Rui VERY frequently.

▪︎ Differently from Akito and Toya, he's REALLY a troublemaker

▪︎ You scold him almost every day /hj

▪︎ You have to tell him to lower his voice cuz

▪︎ HE'S. ALWAYS. SCREAMING.

▪︎ "Shhh... there are people having class, you know Tsu!?" You tell him.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You're normally having your shift, walking through the hallway and monitoring it. Until...

You hear a notorious voice. Screaming. Accompanied of loud steps.

– "Y/N, HELP ME, HELP ME, AAAAAAAAAAAA" Tsukasa screams, running away from Rui with one of his very "peaceful" creations.

– "You two, stop!" You say firmly, making them both stop. You scold them to the coordination to receive a little punishment.

– "Hey... i thought you loved me!" Tsukasa says with a dramatic tone, putting a hand on his forehead dramatically

– "Of course I love you... I just have to make things right, ok? I have to take care of stuff here" You say gently, patting Tsukasa's head and giving him a forehead kiss

Well, even though he's a troublemaker, you still love him. You both go home after school and stay the entire day together, cuddling and laughing.

Rui Kamishiro

るい~

▪︎ Well um

▪︎ If you read Tsukasa's one you can already predict

▪︎ The worst troublemaker of the bunch.

▪︎ FUCKING EXPLODES THE SCHOOL EVERY DAY /hj

▪︎ You have to spend most of your time scolding him

▪︎ He always looks at you with his bold smile and when you see it.... you already know.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

– BOOM! You hear a noise coming from the hallway, making you run towards the noise

Well, you already know what to expect.

You go where the noise came from, and you put a hand on your waist.

– "I know you want my attention, but you really need to do those things? Please just do not put the school on fire." You say, almost like a mom/dad scolding their child.

You send him to the coordination and he looks at you with a... disappointed face.

– "I thought I'd receive a kiss at least!" Rui says

– "I will not encourage a menace!" You say jokingly, laughing slightly

– "Well... i guess I'll have to do it myself." He interrupts you, putting a hand on your chin and kissing your lips

Well... you scold him all the time, but will it work one day? Probably not. Will he stop? No. Will you ignore him? No. So, this cycle will repeat itself again, and again, and again... still, you love him, and out of school, you support his menace acts! You're happy to see the effort he does to make people smile.

A/N: I RLLY HOPE U LIKE IT! Toya × Reader "#" is really dead so let's pump it up right!? WE NEED MORE FICS FFS WRITERS I NEED MORE TOYAYAYAYAY

[somniumfaults]

"do you think we'll be together in every lifetime?"

ngl... i kinda made myself sad writing this one DDFHSKDJLKFGL... this was inspired by some chats I had w my guildies so shoutout to them for giving me fuel to break their hearts to <3 also a fill for @mastering-procrastinating's request ^^

listening to Toxy while posting this and ironically enough, I think the lyrics are kind of fitting LOL

to clarify if it doesn't become clear, this fic plays into the theory that haku's ability is time-travel-related! I definitely encourage reading that post bc its interesting and will give some perspective, but it's not necessary! :D also inspired by this and this tweets

pairing: haku kusanagi x reader

rating: G

prompt: “do you think we’ll be together in every lifetime?”

tags: established relationship, angst, time loop theory

Previous // part 3 of the “in every lifetime” series! // Next

“Do you think we’ll be together in every life?”

It’s only hours of practiced nonchalance that keeps him from coughing as he drinks his tea. As it is, the tightening of his fingers around the cup is enough of a slip in his control. He carefully measures each emotion he allows himself to give for others to see, and yet somehow, against all of his experience and expectations, you always manage to catch him off guard.

A part of him finds it beautiful. After all this time, he knows that you will always be just as charming as when he first met you. A breath of fresh air in the monotony of his days, making sure he’s never as bored as he could be. On the other hand, this is the one part of you he can never predict as well as he wishes he could. You make his life eternally difficult without even trying, hardly lifting a finger to break down his facades time and time again.

The worst part is that he knows you truly aren’t trying. To you, this is a simple question with an equally straightforward answer. A romantic indulgence at most. You don’t mean to send his mind scrambling for answers. You aren’t carefully dissecting him for his responses, knowingly carving away until you can cut into the part of his heart that you know will hurt the most. To you, this is love.

The worst part is that to you, this is love.

If it wasn’t love, it wouldn’t hurt. If it wasn’t love, he wouldn’t even be standing here. If it wasn’t love, the touch of your hand in his wouldn't justify everything he’s done up until now and then some as worth it. He wouldn’t feel like crying at such an innocuous question, wouldn’t clench his jaw and plaster on an easy smile with an indulgent head tilt to sweeten the deal. The princess that rolls off his tongue wouldn’t feel like a match lit in his mouth.

“Where’s this coming from, princess?”

(When you raise your brow at his response, he wonders how long it takes for the lies he lives to become truths. When will it finally become enough?)

You shrug. “Rui and I were talking about it earlier. With how things are looking for me nowadays… I thought it would be a nice thought, y’know? To be soulmates. We wouldn’t have to worry about sad goodbyes or anything.”

You don’t know what he’ll do for you. You’ll never know. You can never know. You can’t know.

He hums. 

“That would be nice,” he muses with a soft smile on his face, and it’s a relief when your expression of budding suspicion falls in the face of love. No matter how many lies he may tell, his love for you will never be one of them. The rest are nothing you need to further stress yourself over, no matter how difficult it gets to predict your doubts. “Knowing the trouble you attract, I’m sure our next meeting will be just as interesting as this one was.”

You bristle lightheartedly at the teasing, and he can’t help but let out a real, genuine laugh at it. The brightness of the smile he gets in return makes it worth it.

This is what it’s all for. Everything for this.

One day neither of you will have to worry about soulmates, lifetimes, or goodbyes. He won’t have to lie to you as easily as he breathes, and this burden will no longer be his to carry. But until that day comes, he can take solace in the sound of your laughter and the knowledge that with each failure, your peace comes in a next life of love.

This time, he won’t fail.

[janahanooo]

Christmas time with the TWST boys cus it's december and I can't wait.

Riddle: Trey, Cater... report.

Trey: *sigh* "Operation get Yuu to join us on christmas" is going well. Ace and Deuce has been spending time with them and have talked about christmas around them multiple times. I think a few more days and they will joins us.

Cater: As for the decoration, you don't have to worry! Cay-cay got everything undercontrol! I got the boys to bring a huge tree and the fireplace is also finely decarated!

Riddle: good, good to hear. Soon, Yuu will see that Heartsablye's christmas is the best out of all the dorms.

Ruggie: C'mon Leona! Give more thoughts into it! You're rich! Your holidays must have been extravagant!

Leona: yeah I rather not remember those times. Look, I really don't care about this whole thing. Do what you want.

Jack: uh.. dormlead?

Leona: what?

Jack: The whole heartsabllye dorm os bragging that Yuu will join them for this years christmas...

Leona:

Leona: Ruggie, i hive you as much money you need to make this years christmas as extra as you want. I need to make a phone call...

Ruggie: hehe! Who you calling?

Leona: *smirk* a certain pipsquick

Azul: this months profits are high as expected. How I love holiday season *chuckle*

Jade: fufu~ I can imagine how happy you will be once you hear this wonderfull news.

Floyd: yeah! Azul, shrimpy will be celebrating this years holiday with one of the dorms! Ne ne, can we invite them?

Azul: oh? How nice...

Azul:

Azul: Jade, Floyd. Make sure its our dorm.

Jade & Floyd: On it boss/aye aye boss!

Kalim: Come on Jamil! It's christmas!

Jamil: yeah... more work for me. How exciting.

Kalim: don't be like that, I promised I will help you with the feast this year!

Jamil: I rather not have you in the kitchen. You might poison your own food...

Kalim: *sad puppy noises* aw..

Scarabia student A: Dormlead! Do you plan on inviting Yuu? I heard that they have no place to celebrate it and that they will join one of the dorms!

Kalim: OOOH! Did you hear that Jamil?! Jamil? Huh, he was here a minute ago...

Jamil: *in the kitchen* Alright everyone! We have to make the best feast that has ever happened in twisted wonderland!

Vil: Epel. Your posture.

Epel: ughhhh, my back hurts.... can we stop now?

Vil: no, everything has to be perfect. Do you want the prefect to join us? Then work hard for it. Rook.

Rook: Oui, rui de poison?

Vil: did you gathered the information I asked?

Rook: but of course. The heart duo is as of right now working on persuing Yuu to join them. The savannaclaw dorm is prepairng their own weapon. The leech twins are lurking around them, always ready to snatch them. Kalim is prepairing the biggest feast in history. The ingendhyde dorm is quiet as always, but they do plan to invite them. As for the diasomnia dorm... I'm sorry I couldn't gather information there.

Vil: hmm, this is enough. *turns back to epel and the others*

Vil: alright, from the beggining. 1, 2, and

The choir: *singing christmas specials*

Idia: okay, I sended the invitation. Not that I believe they would come here...

Ortho: come on brother! Believe in yourself a little!

Idia: Ortho... every other dorm has something special, I can confidently say that we have nothing worth seeing. And also, I'm just happy that they send us a christmas card.

Ortho: *sigh* as you wish brother. But I will still personaly invite them here. It's worth a shot you know?

Malleus: absolutely not. I won't have you poison the child of man.

Lilia: poison? I would never! I just cooked a special dish of mine! How could you say that! I thought you liked my cooking!

Silver: father... please, leave the kitchen before Malleus burns it down. *stands between them*

Sebek: *runs in* WAKA-SAMA! The human! T-they have decided!

The others: !!!

Malleus: hurry and tell me, which dorm did they choose?

Yuu: A- ACHOO! *sniff* ugh... I better not get sick now.

Grim: yeah you better not! Because then what am I suppose to do with these morons in our dorm?!

Yuu: I really don't understand why was everyone so sad when I said that I invited everyone to our dorm to celebrate together.... do you know?

Grim: no? How would I know???

[zomboivex]

Small morning ramble about Rui.

These are all basically opinions so feel free to disagree but tbh I don’t really wanna hear it

This dude is never breaking his curse.

Nothing in the game hints to that even being an option for him. He, himself, doesn’t really talk about breaking his curse. He seems to have accepted that this will always be his life (and if my thoughts are correct, boy will it be a long life).

The reason Rui is such a fascinating character to me is because he’s coping with the fact that he will always be this way. He’s always going to have this curse and he’s trying to accept and live with that.

In the recent chapter where we actually see his curse go into effect - his reaction isn’t like Lyca’s (who was devastated at the seemingly betrayal of acceptance) but he was very much defeated and numb. He’s seen this reaction before. He’s been treated as a monster before. He wasn’t shocked by the reaction he got for draining a life. He was numb to it. He stood there, seemingly unable to let go as he was called a monster.

But see what I love about Rui is that

He has so carefully crafted himself to be reliable to others. Listening? No problem, he’ll let you talk about all your problems and don’t worry for one second about any of his (serious) issues. Of course, he’ll complain about his captain or Moby. But- that’s normal stuff to complain about. He tries soooo hard to make himself seem like a normal guy by flirting, joking, complaining about normal things. Then he listens to others, will do endless tasks (like gardening, cleaning up the house, running a bar, trying to run a bed and breakfast type situation, taking care of the duties Ed doesn’t or straight up refuses to do), and generally he keeps his own emotions locked deep down.

Hell his fucking stigma is a benefit to others! Even if ‘temporary’. He can still take away your pain and exhaustion??? That’s- pretty fucking helpful. And it sums him up so well as a character.

He does everything for the comfort of others. Even if temporary. Because he knows anything he does will immediately be disregarded the moment someone sees his curse in action.

Despite this, Rui pretends to always be cheerful and positive. Even if deep down he’s hurting so bad. And there’s nothing anyone can really do about it. He wears the mask of someone who’s cheerful and reliable and steady. Because what else is he supposed to do in his situation?

God I seriously love him so much as a character. I’d write a more cohesive thing for him but I want a few more Rui crumbs before I fully commit to writing a character study on this tragic fuck.

Tbh I wish I still had access to my old tumblr but I forgot the email and password I used to set it up lol so I can’t pull my character study of Narancia from over there onto here but shhhh

Anyways!!!

I struggle with writing Rui as intimate with others not on account of his curse (because there are no-touch ways around that and I wish more people would focus on that aspect ahem me- I’m more people ) but because this guy would never allow himself the chance to be intimate with others on account for what he is. It’s not from fear of touching them (though that poses a problem for fucking sure) but because he doesn’t feel he deserves this.

Okay I’m gonna stop rambling because I have so much to say but also I’m feeling very unwell today LMFAO

[stinkyturd]

Fever Dreams

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Subaru Kagami/Reader

Fandom: Tokyo Debunker

Notes: Hello, Hi, Welcome! This is my Subaru fic! As of this post, there are two more chapters up on Archive of Our Own and a fourth in the making! I will try to update often here if there are a lot of you that don't use Ao3! This fic starts out with you, the MC, having mysterious explicit dreams about Subaru, and avoiding him so he doesn't find out!

This was probably the fifth day in a row that you woke up in the middle of the night with a start. And you wish you could say it was from a horrific dream like being chased by a pack of aggressive anomalies, or even materializing into a room full of people in just your underwear.

No, this was much, much, worse.

Ever since you assisted Hotarubi as their inspector, you had become quite close with the house's captain. Initially, you had only spent so much time with Subaru Kagami because you were entrusted with the task of helping mentor Lyca, Subaru's good friend. The weekly check-ins regarding Lyca's progress turned into multi weekly meetups, rather than just text exchanges. Subaru began asking you to join him for lunch, help him with missions, or even study with him. You enjoyed the company, and even began initiating interactions, as well.

But here's where the problem comes in.

The dreams that were so explicit and intense that they tampered with your inner time clock, were in fact lewd and unholy perversions that involved you and none other than Hotarubi's captain, Subaru.

You felt like a total creep. Darkwick Academy's perfect, sweet, honorable third year was being psychologically violated by some outsider that would have no business being there if it weren't for a curse. You had seriously considered avoiding Subaru altogether because the past few days whenever you held eye contact with him for too long, vivid imagery from your dreamworld would resurface in the recesses of your mind. It was almost as if your brain was trying to torture you. You even came up with a half-baked theory that this could be the work of your curse, just to avoid taking responsibility.

Even now, you had accepted Subaru's invite to eat with him for lunch at this picnic bench in the school yard, but you can't look at him in the eye. Your barely touched curry bread that you purchased from Sho's food truck sits in front of you over a bed of napkins. Avoiding looking up, you find particular interest in the granules of breadcrumbs lining the outside of the pastry.

"Lyca sent me a message about picking up more shifts at Rui's bar. He seems to be settling in very well and even making friends, thanks to you. He talks about you all the time, too," Subaru says, as he opens up his Unagi Don that he also grabbed from Sho's food truck.

Idly, you pick up rogue breadcrumbs with your index finger and thumb and crumble them. "Oh, you don't say? I'm glad I was able to help him."

Subaru's eyes follow your movements. "What about you? It hasn't been too much trouble for you to guide him, has it?"

You can feel his eyes lingering on you longer than normal. It wouldn't be long before you'd have to explain yourself. "Oh no, not at all," You reply, pulling off a piece of the pastry before plopping it into your mouth. Your next words are stifled by a mouthful of food. "Lyca's the best, it's no trouble."

If Subaru showed any visible displeasure from your barbaric table manners, you wouldn't know, because you're suddenly looking around the courtyard at nothing in particular.

"(Y/N)... maybe it's just my imagination. Forgive me and correct me if I'm wrong," Subaru starts, cautiously.

You pick the bread up while turned away from him and cram it in your mouth, allowing him to fumble over his words instead of showing verbal interest.

"I just think that maybe... just maybe you've been avoiding me? Like in general, or particularly when it comes to looking at me?" Subaru suggests, his voice raising an octave towards the latter half of his sentence.

When you turn your head to him seconds later, you're suddenly wearing a pair of very densely colored, black sunglasses. Crumbs line the outside of your mouth as you chew vigorously-- less times than you should, before swallowing. "Avoiding you? Naaawh! What makes you say that?"

"Um... well, for starters can you even see through those glasses? They look like a prop."

You could see through them, but just barely. It is probably close to the equivalent of having fifteen percent window tint on a motor vehicle. So, you saw the murky outline of Subaru, but it's a perfect amount of visibility to where you wouldn't start to get that funny feeling in your gut.

"Yeah, I can see crystal clear."

Subaru tents his eyebrows and sighs. "Okay then. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Mmm, three," You guess.

"...I'm not holding up any."

You lift your glasses up just barely from the bottom to confirm his claim, before dropping them again. "Oh, well I was just messing with you. I was going to say zero! Good one, right? Ha, ha..."

"Did I do something to upset you?" Subaru asks, his voice woefully pitiful.

You wave your hands wildly in the air, emitting an awkward laugh. "No, no! Not at all, I just really have been not doing well with the sun lately. My family has that thing that runs in the family. Whatchyamacallit-- catracks...!"

Subaru stares at you dubiously. "I think you mean cataracts."

"Oh, yup! That's the one," You stand up abruptly in an attempt to escape but end up slamming your knee on the edge of the table. "FUCK...!" You hunch over and cradle your knee in your hand, your sunglasses toppling onto the table in the process.

"(Y/N)...!" Subaru quickly moves over to your side. "Are you alright?"

Mindlessly, you glance up and meet his gaze. The stunningly cute captain is mere inches from your face, his shallow breath tickling your nose. You don't even feel the knee pain anymore, only the heat rising up your neck at the proximity.

Without thinking, you find yourself throwing your palms forward, effectively pushing Subaru away. It wasnt hard enough to knock him on his feet or anything, but the message was clear.

It's too late to take it back. You feel a pang of remorse when you notice the hurt expression on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that," You say, fumbling for words.

Subaru folds an arm over his chest in a self-soothing manner, as he looks towards the ground. "No, I shouldn't have gotten so close to you like that. Sorry, that was probably creepy."

Creepy? If he thought that was creepy good thing he hasn't used his stigma and incidentally seen picturesque imagery of himself writhing underneath you, butt naked.

"No, it wasn't creepy. If anything, I'm the total weirdo here, for real!" You counter.

Subaru shakes his head. "Impossible, you're not any sort of weirdo."

You let out a nervous laugh. "I think you would change your mind if you could see the kind of crap I've been thinking on the last few days. I can't elaborate, but..." Clapping your hands together, you bow a bit. "I'm sorry, Subaru. I think we should hang out less. It's not you it's me, believe me."

Subaru stares at you, crestfallen. "What...?"

Finally, you meet his gaze, fighting back your rampant imagination. "I really love hanging out with you. In fact, you have to be my favorite Ghoul resident, and that's exactly why we have to separate for at least a little bit." Until you got your hormones under control, anyways. You didn't want to put these feelings on Subaru, nor did you have time for them. You had a curse to break, after all.

Subaru's lips press into a thin line, and he almost looks-- frustrated? "Sorry, but can you give me a better reason than that? Otherwise, I will have no choice but to think it's my fault, regardless of what you say."

You rehearsed this conversation in your head before, but you hadn't planned on him being this assertive. So, you made up some bullshit on the spot.

"Study. I need to study for the quarterly exams next week! We have been hanging out so much, I'm always tempted to call you over to waste time instead of preparing for the exams. That's all!"

Subaru's expression doesn't get any brighter at the revelation. In fact, you doubt he buys it. "Okay. So, studying together is off the table?"

"Well, yes! Because I'm terrible at multitasking. I'll be too distracted, I usually study alone," You explain clumsily. "We can hang out after exams though, I promise."

"Yes, we should." Subaru smiles, but you can tell its forced by his eyes. "Should I avoid texting you too, then?"

"No, texting is fine! Anyways, I'll see you later, okay?" You pick up your glasses and make your way back to the building for your next class. Pivoting slightly, you wave back at him. "See you!"

Subaru returns the gesture half-heartedly. "Yes, until next time."

Some days pass and much to your dismay, you were still having the obscene dreams. Out of some sort of guilty conscious, you would always wake up prematurely whenever you would realize the dream wasn't actually real. And then you would have trouble falling back asleep.

You sat at a table in Darkwick's library with a thick textbook opened in front of you. You really did need to study for next week's exams, but you could barely keep your eyes open. Not only that, but you were also having to read over the same paragraph way too many times in order to finally comprehend it when you did have your eyes fully open. This endeavor was looking to be more and more fruitless by the minute. Maybe the only cure for your exhaustion was tall cup of plain brewed blonde roast coffee.

As if your mind was read, a disposable coffee cup is placed in front of you. Your eyes dart upwards to meet your savior.

"You look like you're barely staying awake. I came by earlier to say hi, but you were sleeping on your textbook," Lucas says, shooting you a sympathetic look.

"For me...?" You ask, staring up at the sun-kissed student as if he were the reincarnation of Jesus himself.

Lucas Iaughs airily. "Yes, it's all yours. May I sit?"

You nod, grabbing the cup and taking a tentative sip of the piping hot beverage. It was strong and deliciously bitter, just what you needed. "You're seriously a life saver, Lucas."

The Frostheim student pulls out a chair next to you and settles himself in. "It was no problem. I had planned on getting pastries from the coffee stand, anyways. What are you studying?"

"Ecoregion Field Study," You bite out, miserably.

Lucas winces at that. "Ah, seems boring."

"It is," You agree. "Are you studying for exams, too?"

Lucas nods and unzips his messenger bag. He pulls out a folder, a pen, and a textbook titled 'Anomaly Cell Biology'.

"Hey! You're with (Y/N) and you didn't invite me?!" A whiney familiar voice practically screeches from behind Lucas. A blonde mop of hair comes into view as the source of the ruckus barrels towards the both of you.

"Kaito, keep it down...!" Lucas scolds in a hushed whisper. "We are in a library."

Kaito plants his own messenger bag firmly on the table and sits across from you. The blonde young man glares daggers at his housemate but obeys his request. "Well, I wouldn't be so loud, if I had been given a little heads up. You're just hogging this cutie to yourself!" Kaito turns to look at you with a wide grin, but his face immediately falters. "Woah, you look uh... tired."

"Oh? What gave that away?" You ask, sarcastically.

"Those wicked dark circles and messy hair. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought those were a black eyes," Kaito replies, a bit too honestly, in your opinion.

Lucas shoots Kaito a glare and not so subtly kicks him from underneath the table.

"YEOWCH...!" Despite being the least street-smart student in Darkwick, the blonde could take hints. "Uh, what I meant to say is wow you look super hot, (Y/N)! Like a million bucks! Plus, there's plenty of baddies with dark circles. You ever read that manga 'Death Note'?"

You let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, I have, and you don't have to apologize. I know I look beat. I haven't been able to sleep well for a while."

Kaito rests his chin on the top of his bag and eyes you, curiously. "How come? Too many missions?"

You shake your head. "No, the missions aren't the issue."

"No one has been giving you trouble, have they?" Lucas asks, his gaze hardening.

"They better not, we will send Jin after 'em," Kaito adds.

"Nope, nope, nothing like that either. I've brought this on myself," You say twirling your coffee cup in place with your fingertips.

"The suspense is killing me, spill!" Kaito demands.

You debate if you should tell them. After all, they were your first friends at Darkwick and they probably know the most about you out of all of the students, besides Subaru. The Frostheim house in general held a special place in your heart and even their icy captain had become fond of you. Plus, if anyone could empathize on this topic, it was probably Kaito.

You take a deep breath, steadying yourself. "Okay, completely hypothetical question. If someone was having pervy dreams about a close friend that is probably-- definitely not into them like that, should it effect the friendship?"

Kaito's eyes widen. It's obvious the topic threw him through a loop. "Uhhh, depends. Does the other person know it's happening?"

"In this hypothetical, no," You reply.

Kaito shrugs. "Oh, then who cares? What they don't know won't hurt em!"

Lucas tosses Kaito a dubious look. "Well... maybe. But it seems kind of unfair to harbor those kinds of feelings for someone when it's not mutual. If even when you sleep you think romantically about them, then won't that eventually reflect in your interactions later on?"

Kaito scoffs. "Who says its romantic, maybe they're just super cute? I have had loads of dreams about people I knew, but I didn't creep on em after! Besides, you can't control dreams."

Lucas rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but I assume we are imagining a scenario with someone, unlike you, that is interested in one person exclusively. Right, (Y/N)?" The brown-haired man turns to look at you for confirmation.

You nod pensively as you consider their input. "Yeah, just one person."

Lucas eyes you warily. "Some guy friend isn't perving on you, is he? And it's not Kaito?"

"WHAT? How could it be me? I never admitted to any such dreams!" Kaito squawks indignantly.

"No," You groan, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand. "It's me. I'm the lecherous creep."

Kaito's mouth drops open, as far as it could possibly go. You can tell he tries to keep his next words as quiet as he possibly could, considering the librarian had been glaring at him from her desk since he sat down. "Who about? If it's me, the feelings mutual-- please be my girlfriend!"

Lucas looks at Kaito with an expression that could only be described as pained disappointment. "Dude..."

You shake your head, not bothered by the blonde man's predictable outburst. "No, it's not you, Kaito."

"You don't have to tell us if you don't feel comfortable," Lucas insists, considerate as ever.

"Speak for yourself! I have to know my rival, so I can learn all their weaknesses," Kaito counters. "Ahem... if you feel like revealing, that is."

"It's Subaru," You admit, readily.

Lucas blinks in surprise. "Hotarubi's Captain?"

Kaito looks a little lost, looking between the two of you. "Uh, he's the super polite guy that has the pretty face, right? Used to be an actor?"

You both nod.

"Oh, no wonder you like him," Kaito pouts, bitterly. "I can try to make myself look cute like that, if that's what you like."

Like him?

You hadn't thought about it plainly like that, but you never really had dreams of that nature before. Nor had you really liked many people throughout your lifetime. It would be fair to say you had a crush on Subaru. You'd get butterflies when he gave his most genuine smiles, and you thought about him all the time. His pretty face was so ingrained in your mind you could probably paint it without a reference. And you really admired how positive he could be, and the way he saw the best in everyone. You also loved how he responded so descriptively in text and made sure to acknowledge every little thing you'd send.

"He's a very gentle person," You say, offering some insight. "He is very cute, but I think why I may be feeling this way is a conglomeration of things. There's no point in thinking too much of it. I plan on avoiding him until this feeling passes."

"Aren't you sort of close to him?" Lucas asks, worriedly. "In that case, is that really the best way to go about it?"

"Well, there's no way he thinks the same way about me. I already hear from Taiga and Edward about how plain I am, I'm sure he thinks the same. If it's probably not mutual I may as well avoid it," You state matter-of-factly.

"That's a more pacifist attitude than I would have expected from you," Lucas remarks. "But if you really think it's fine..."

"Do you need a hug?" Kaito asks, giving you a sympathetic look.

"I wouldn't hate that," You say.

Kaito stands up and leans over the table wrapping his arms around your head in an awkward embrace. You felt some level of oxytocin production from the interaction, despite your head being craned in an unnatural direction. No one had attempted to hug you since you ended up at Darkwick, so this small amount of platonic contact was actually comforting.

You relax and exhale tiredly. "Thanks, Kaito."

"My pleasure--" Kaito starts, but abruptly cuts himself off. You feel his form separate from you.

Looking up, you see Subaru gripping the collar of Kaito's uniform. This was probably the first time that you've ever seen the gentle captain outright scowling. Haku stood behind him, his expression as surprised as yours probably was.

"H-Hey...!" Kaito protests, pulling himself away from Subaru's grip. "It was consensual, I swear!"

The Hotarubi Captain glowered menacingly at the blonde, not saying a word. Kaito held his ground for a few seconds, until his face faltered into a panicked expression.

"EEEEEEE...! I'M SORRY, DON'T HURT MEEE!!!" Kaito spins on his heel and runs for the exit.

"...We are definitely getting kicked out," Lucas remarks with a groan.

"That's the maddest I've ever seen you, Soobie. What gives?" Haku asks, his playful tone contradicting the perturbed look on his face.

Subaru doesn't acknowledge his question, instead turning his full attention to you. "I thought you said you had planned on studying for the exams without distraction."

You gawk at him, at a loss for words. This was the first time you ever saw Subaru so angry, not to mention forward. "Y-Yeah, I did! Honest."

Subaru's eyes are practically glaring at you. It's evident that he doesn't believe you right now. "Yet here you are with Frostheim."

"It's not what it looks li--"

"I'm sorry. Kaito and I kind of barged ourselves in on her study session. I didn't realize she didn't want company." Lucas pulls through with a save.

Haku throws an arm over Subaru's shoulders. "Relax. She looks exhausted, you think she was having a shin dig? What's the big deal anyways?"

Subaru begins to appear conflicted, then relaxes into a contrite expression. "I'm... sorry. I don't know what came over me. Excuse me," He bows politely, and turns to leave himself.

"H-Hey, wait...!" You call out, but he only begins walking more briskly, until he's out the door.

Haku folds his arms over his chest. "Well... that was something."

"Looks like your plan wasn't a good one, after all," Lucas remarks to you, rubbing salt in the wound.

Planting your face on your book, you groan audibly. "That was so stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Mind filling me in? I'm going to need some context if I'm going to calm him down," Haku says gently.

"Lucas, please." Your vague request comes out muffled, but still discernible.

Lucas clears his throat, picking up on what you're throwing down. "Uh, she's been having dirty dreams about your captain, so she's ignoring him, because she feels guilty...? Is that right?"

You nod as much as possible from your stiff position. "...To put it simply."

"Oh..." Haku manages, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Is it bad enough that you can't talk to him?"

You lift your face just barely meeting Haku's gaze. "I see images of it all the time, and the dreams come every night. I think I've got a double curse. I can't even look at him without being reminded of it. I'm a filthy, filthy pervert. Seriously, put me out of my misery. Subaru is too pure to be tainted by my vile presence."

Haku snickers. "Don't you think you're being a little too hard on yourself? And to be honest, it's not really that farfetched to blame an anomaly. There are some that tamper with emotions, you know. I get being embarrassed about dirty dreams, but if they're as frequent and vivid as you say it's possible it's supernatural."

Your voice lightens at that. "F-For real? Are you sure?"

Haku nods. "Yes, in fact I'm concerned. You stay alone in that cathedral, don't you?"

"I do."

"Do you ever feel like there's another presence around? And when did these dreams start?" Haku asks.

You tent your eyebrows. "Um... I'm not sure if there's another presence around. The dreams usually end up waking me very quickly because I feel guilty. It started a week ago."

"When you're about to wake up, do you feel anything else before you're about to regain consciousness? Like something that is restrictive?"

You blink, sitting fully upright. "Hey, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I felt a weight on my chest. Then I forced myself up and opened my eyes. I never see anything in the room with me, obviously."

Haku furrows his eyebrows with a look of concern. "(Y/N), I'm eighty-five percent sure an anomaly is messing with you. And if it's the one I'm thinking of, it would explain a lot. You're cursed with something quite serious, so you may attract petty creatures like this because of the negative energy that comes with being marked."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, you find yourself grinning from ear to ear. "Wow, so I'm not a complete lecherous pervert."

Lucas shoots you a tired look. "You'd rather be trailed by an anomaly, than feel like a pervert? You're seriously something else."

Haku shakes his head. "I wouldn't be celebrating just yet. The anomaly I'm thinking of takes on the form of someone you harbor feelings for in your dreams, it's not just random."

Your giddy expression falls as quickly as it came. "Damn it, seriously?"

"You both are my friends, so I'm looking out for your best interest. If you don't want Subaru to become an emotional inconsolable wreck, you should just be honest with him. I've never seen him act like that before." Haku glances wistfully in the direction his captain left, before shifting his gaze back to you. "I know it's easier said than done, but running away is not the solution here."

As much as you want to object, you know he's right. Initially, when you decided to ignore him, you didn't think he would care as much as he did. "Yeah, I get it. I don't want him to resent me either." Letting out an exasperated sigh, you close your book and lean down to stuff it in your bag that's on the floor. "There's no way I can concentrate on studying right now, I'm going home."

Haku waves his hands in protest. "Wait, I don't think you should do that. At least, don't sleep there. We need to figure out what's going on. If you're alone so far away, you'll be in danger."

You zip up your bag and toss him a puzzled look. "Well, what do you suggest I do?"

"There are probably extra rooms at the Hotarubi house. You should stay until we get this sorted out," Haku insists, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Uh, you sure that's okay?" You ask, uncertainty laced in your voice.

Haku taps away at his phone's keyboard. "Yes, I will tell Subaru and he will understand."

"You should listen to him," Lucas adds, his expression serious. "This anomaly could be pretty dangerous."

Surrendering to the idea, you nod in agreement. "Fine, but I'm going to get some stuff from my place first."

"That's fine. I'll meet you there, okay?" Haku looks up from his screen with an encouraging smile.

"Hey, wait. You're not texting him the details of this anomaly, right?" You ask, in a panic.

Haku chuckles and shakes his head. "Don't worry, I'm being as vague as possible. I wouldn't do that. That's something you need to tell him yourself."

Exhaling in relief, you stand up with your bag. "Good. I'll get ready then I'll head to Hotarubi."

"See you later, (Y/N). Good luck with everything," Lucas says with a smile.

You wave him off, before heading for the door. "Thanks, you're the best!"

Later that evening, you find yourself wandering the halls of the Hotarubi's Shoin-zukuri* styled mansion. Haku hadn't specified exactly where he would be and you made the mistake of not texting him ahead of time, instead sending one message notifying your arrival just moments ago. The vice-captain wasn't one to be latched to his phone, so you decided to make a guess at his location. Your first arrival here, you met up with Haku, Zenji, and Subaru in the main dining hall. It had been a while since you had last been here, so you did your best to retrace your steps from that day. Just like you had remembered it was pouring rain, but thankfully you were shielded by a protruding roof.

Walking the narrow porch, you look into the garden, watching the droplets of rain fall past the beautiful purple wisteria growing along the building's surface. The scene was peaceful and serene, very fitting for the members of the Hotarubi House. Particularly Subaru, considering he used to be a Kabuki actor.

Once, you made it to the main dining area, you find the sliding door already peeled back.

"Oh my, an anomaly is following Miss (Y/N)...?!" Zenji's flamboyant voice yells. You easily spot him sitting on the floor at a tea table with Subaru and Haku across from him.

"It's just speculation, but I have good reason to believe that to be the case," Haku says.

Subaru looks down at his lap, worry etched on his delicate features. He's wearing his stylized purple and white kimono, with the right sleeve peeled off, revealing a teal undershirt. Subaru looks so pretty and poised in the getup it makes your heart skip a beat.

"Well then, it makes sense for her to stay here. She can stay in the room next to mine for the time being." As soon as the words come out of Subaru's mouth, his eyes flick to meet yours. He must have used his sixth sense to detect you ogling over him.

"(Y/N), you're here." Haku acknowledges your presence with a toothy grin.

"(Y/N)...!" Zenji shouts theatrically, dragging out the vowels in your name. "Oh, how I've missed you so!"

You smile at them and approach the table. "Hey, guys. Sorry if you were waiting awhile, Haku. I was gathering my things to last me the next few days."

"Not at all, you're just in time. Sit!"

Unwittingly, you opt to sit on the cushion closest to you, which happens to be on the end of the table right next to Subaru. His floral perfume fills your lungs the second your butt hits the seat. He must have gotten over the events from earlier, because he looks at you with painstakingly sweet expression. Heat trickles up your neck as your heart threatens to explode out of your chest.

"Would you like some warabi mochi?" Subaru picks up a piece from the plate in front of him, offering the jelly-like desert to you from his fingertips.

An intrusive thought comes to you to inhale that thing right off his fingers, but you think better of it. "S-Sure, ha ha..." Your hand is practically shaking as it reaches out for the mochi in his hand. Your fingertips connect for the briefest of seconds, but you manage to take it from him and toss it in your mouth.

"So, Haku tells me you've been tormented by repetitive dreams! You poor thing," Zenji coos, giving you a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, it's been interfering with my sleep," You say in between chews.

"No worries, we will get it sorted out. Exams are in a few days, too. I can try to talk to the Chancellor about getting you an extension, if you need it," Haku offers as he rests his cheek against his knuckles, focusing his attention on you.

You shake your head. "I'm prepared enough to get a decent grade. I usually try to get close to a perfect score, but if that doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world."

"If you insist." Haku takes a sip of a ceramic mug filled with what you assume is hot tea, before continuing. "I was thinking we could put a baby monitor in your room. It sounds silly, but that way we will know if something is going on in your sleep. I also prepared some Omamori* amulets and incense for your room, so tonight is peaceful. You look exhausted, so I figured we could try to bait this thing tomorrow."

"Do you think it will stop the dreams for tonight?" You ask eagerly, clenching your fists in your lap.

Haku nods. "In theory."

"What kind of dreams plague you? Perhaps I can regale you a tale to rid you of your fears!" Zenji offers, brimming with enthusiasm.

"Er... well, uh," You stutter out, not daring to look anywhere in Subaru's vicinity.

Haku quickly comes to your rescue, like the angel he is. "Hey, I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is bad luck, Zenji. If an anomaly is messing with her head, it's best not to stir up negative emotions."

"How ridiculous I am! You're absolutely correct. My apologies Miss (Y/N)!" Zenji bows his head in your direction, with his palms together.

You laugh a bit, waving your hands dismissively. "No worries, it's no big deal."

"And you probably overheard, but Subaru said you could take the room next to his. Isn't that right, Soobie?" Haku smiles in his captain's direction, but you watch his face transition into a look of concern. "You okay, buddy?"

Tentatively, you turn your head in Subaru's direction once more. The Hotarubi captain was stiff as a board, staring at his hands in a state of shock. If you weren't mistaken, his cheeks were flushed pink as well.

After a pregnant pause, Subaru slowly speaks. "Yes... I'm okay." He breaks out of his stupor and gives Haku a weak smile. "Sorry. Could you run that last thing you said by me again?"

Haku quirks a brow with a questioning look but continues anyways. "Oh, I was just telling (Y/N) about her staying in the room by yours."

"Right." Subaru turns to you, forcing a thin-lipped smile. "Yes, you will be staying by me. The room used to be for my study, but I separated it with a partition. In case the need ever arose for an extra room."

"Oh, thanks so much!" You say.

"No need to thank me. Your safety is first and foremost." Subaru suddenly gets to his feet. "In fact, if you'll excuse me, I'll go ahead and prepare it for you."

"Oh, sure..."

Haku glances at his plate of barely touched mochi. "You're not gonna finish that?"

"Oh, no that's alright, you two can split it. I'm afraid my eyes were bigger than my stomach." Subaru bows and exits the room.

Once his footsteps down the hall became imperceptible, Haku speaks up. "(Y/N)... did you touch him?"

The image of your hand making contact with his in the mochi exchange stirs in your memory. His stigma must have picked up and seen something in your memory it shouldn't have. Because of your current predicament, you expect the worse.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. "Haku, all those talismans for my room? I don't need them. I decided, why wait for my curse? I can just let the anomaly take me out in my sleep."

Zenji places his hands on his face, his expression mortified. "Oh my! Dear (Y/N), it's far too soon to speak of death-- we are working on a cure!"

Haku clenches his teeth, his expression pained in your stead. "Well, this isn't the end of the world, but it's going to be awkward. And no, you need to keep those in your room."

You pinch the bridge of your nose, cringing inwardly. "If anything is world ending for me, it's gotta be this."

"I must be missing something," Zenji remarks, confusion etched on his pale features. "Care to elaborate on my behalf?"

Haku looks to you for approval, you just wave to signal the go ahead. The one person that wasn't supposed to find out already knows, who gives a shit at this point?

"So, the anomaly following (Y/N), I speculate to be a Lidéric*," Haku starts, eliciting a look of recognition on Zenji's face.

"Oh, yes! I know of those scheming creatures. They torment their victims with erotic dreams of a person that have affection for. They even suck blood while the victim slumbers, slowly draining the life out of them night by night!" Zenji explains.

"Right. Speaking of, have you seen any strange marks on your body, (Y/N)?"

"Actually... now that you mention it, I do remember seeing a weird bruise on my shoulder. I get bruises all the time, so I thought nothing of it." You reflect on when you noticed it a few days ago. It was in a weird spot, so if it looked like some sort of a bite mark, you wouldn't know.

Zenji scoots over to you. "May have a look?"

"Yeah, sure." Removing your jacket, you unbutton a few of the buttons on your blouse and peel the collar of your shirt back far enough for him to see it.

"That does appear to be a bite mark fitting of its nature," Zenji comments, his tone grim.

Of its nature? "What do you mean?"

"The creature appears as a very repulsive naked chicken with jagged teeth," The otherwordly student explains, returning to his seat. "They tend to prey on people closer to death, and with your curse you're an easy target."

You gulp, pulling your shirt back up. "...That sounds pretty gnarly."

"You will be okay," Haku promises with a gentle smile. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Zenji hums in agreement. "As you know, I don't sleep, so I will be on careful watch!"

Your heart swells at their willingness to help. Never would you have thought before Darkwick, people labeled as 'Ghouls' would be the most attentive and caring people to ever come in your life. When you were first cursed you didn't see it that way, but this all must be a blessing in disguise.

Soaking up the mushy feeling welling inside, you express gratitude. "I seriously love you guys."

"I love you too!" Zenji squeals, clearly giddy from the display of affection.

Haku grins, grabbing one of Subaru's abandoned mochis. "We've got your back," He reassures again, before plopping the chewy square in his mouth.

Suddenly, Zenji slaps a fist in the palm of his hand, as if he remembered something. "So your dreams, they're about..." Glancing over to the door Subaru exited from, he connects the dots. "Oh... that is quite the pickle."

"Tell me about it," You grumble, grabbing another mochi for yourself.

"Not to worry, I don't think Subaru minds as much as you think," Zenji insists.

"He is probably more embarrassed than anything," Haku agrees, washing down the mochi with another swig of tea. "His stigma is sore spot for him, so I bet you he feels guilty for having seen it in the first place."

"And I feel guilty to have embarrassed him. Now he's going to think I'm a dirty pervert," You counter.

Haku shakes his head. "No, he's pretty studious and perceptive. If he saw your dream he probably already has an idea of what's after you. That being said, the Lidéric doesn't use fantasies of just random people."

"...So he probably knows I have a crush on him."

Haku smiles sympathetically. "It's more likely than not."

You clench your teeth anxiously at the revelation. "Well, I guess that's better than being seen as a gross weirdo."

"Before you know it, it will all be back to normal. Anyways, I gotta get ready for bed. I can show you were the bathrooms are if you need to shower, too." Haku gets to his feet and takes the now empty plate from the table.

You nod. "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

"Good night, my dear! I'll be around if you need me," Zenji waves at you with his fingertips.

"Goodnight, Zenji."

Later that night, after you had showered and brushed your teeth, you made your way to Subaru's room. You had put on a pair of red, silk, button-up jammies and fuzzy socks. The traditional wooden floors were too cold to just to go barefoot. When you reach Subaru's door, you knock tentatively on it with your free hand that wasn't securing your bag.

A few moments later, the beige door slides open and you are greeted by Subaru's dazzling face. "Oh, (Y/N)! It's so good to see you. Come in."

Subaru steps aside, shutting the door after you. His room is pretty spacious. A massive white bed is centered in the middle of the room. It lays flat to the ground, supported by a thin wooden lining that matches the traditional aesthetic of the mansion. To the side of it there is a small black tea table with three white zaisu* style seats surrounding it. The back wall of the room is a large paper sliding door that likely leads out to the garden.

Subaru walks towards the right side of the room, where a sliding partition stood that was about a third of the walls size and opens it up. You approach, examining the quaint space. Inside is a comfy padded futon, a standing lamp, and a small dresser.

"Thanks so much, it's perfect," You say, your lips blooming into an appreciative smile. Walking inside, you set your bag down and sit crisscross on the futon.

"It's my pleasure. I'm sorry I don't have anything bigger for you, I'm afraid a few of our rooms are being remodeled. We have had some issues with the pipes."

You giggle at his fussing and shake your head. "No, I really like it. Plus, it's kinda like a sleepover since we are right next to eachother."

Subaru's face flushes at the comment and he averts his gaze. "Yes, I suppose it is."

If he hadn't just found out your big secret you would be far more inclined to tease him about seeming embarrassed. In fact, that's probably the only reason he's reacting that way, you figure.

"I wanted to say, I'm sorry about my behavior earlier. It was entirely inappropriate, I'll have to apologize to Kaito later, too," Subaru says, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, seriously no worries! Kaito gets ribbed all the time for his antics, I'm sure he didn't take it to heart. Plus, I can see why you'd be annoyed at me. I've been a jerk with ignoring you."

Subaru shifts in place, idly toying with his signature purple earring. It was obvious he was choosing his next words carefully. "Um... so that was because..."

"Ugh... you saw it didn't you?" You ask, your face turning beet red.

"I'm sorry," Subaru squeaks out.

You pull your knees up to your chest and bury your face in them to avoid eye contact. "It's seriously not your fault. I'm the one whos sorry. I'm surprised you were even okay with letting me in here after that."

"Why would I not let you in here because of that? The anomaly is the only one to blame for that." Subaru's voice is sticky sweet like honey and you seriously didn't feel like you deserved his vindication. After all you wouldn't be having those dreams if he wasn't so darn cute.

"You're too nice, Subaru," You mutter, your head still buried in your knees. "Anyway, hopefully once this thing gets blasted I'll stop feeling so weird when I talk to you. I've felt super guilty this last week or so that this has been happening."

There is a pause, long enough that you almost muster the courage to lift your head up, but then he speaks again. "So, you still feel weird now? Even knowing it's all fabricated by a cryptid?"

"Yeah. Maybe you haven't realized, but you're like destiny level cute. Seeing your face combined with these images has seriously messed up my rhythm. The Lyric or whatever may be a perverted demon, but so am I."

"...It's Lidéric."

"Tomayto, tohmato," You quip back. Making a point not to look in his direction, you peel back the comforter on the futon and slip under it. You settle on your side facing the wall. "Anywho, I'll just try to get to sleep before my face gets any redder and I burn up in flames."

Subaru doesn't reply to that, but you hear him walk further into the room. You almost tilt your head up to see what he's doing, but then you hear a match light up, and seconds later the scent of burning incense fills your nostrils.

"This should help ward that thing off, at least for tonight. Also..."

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head when you feel a weight next to you on futon. Subaru leans over you and slips a Omamori talisman in your hand, then closes his bare fingers over yours with reckless abandon.

Your heart thrums wildly in your chest at the contact. You wonder if he saw more just by doing that and if he did, was that his intention? Either way you're not sure if you find this arousing, or if you're ready to shit your pants at the idea of him seeing more than he probably bargained for.

Subaru moves his hand from yours, but several moments pass and you don't feel him get up to leave. Daringly, you shift on your back, and glance up. The both of you instantaneously lock eyes and your stomach flips. His porcelain smooth skin is still flushed a delectable shade of pink and he gazes at you with half-lidded, timid eyes.

"Would you hate me if I tried something?" Subaru murmurs softly.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

You push out a nervous strangled laugh, your throat more dry than usual. "Try what exactly? The answer is no, anyways."

"That's good," Subaru says as he moves to hover over you, his palms caging you in.

Holy shit.

Your eyes dart subconsciously to his pretty petal pink lips. There's no way he was going to...?

Before you can even blink, his mouth is on yours. His lips are softer than you could have ever anticipated and the contact immediately leaves heat coiling tortuously in your lower half. The kiss is chaste, his lips hold your upper lip captive for brief moment before relinquishing its freedom back to you. When he pulls himself back a distance, he stares at you with a pensive expression.

A soft whine escapes your lips at the loss of contact. You're so enraptured by him you forget to be embarrassed.

"Sorry," Subaru near whispers, but he doesn't look it. "We should stop here."

You don't have the will power to argue, as your brain short circuited the moment he sat on the bed with you. You watch him lift himself up and then get to his feet. He moves to the lamp and switches it off.

"Keep that talisman with you, okay? And let me know if you need anything. Good night, (Y/N)."

"N-Night, Subaru..."

Subaru exits the room, sliding the door closed behind him.

Shoin-zukuri: Old school style of Japanese residential architecture that forms the basis of today's traditional-style Japanese house.

Omamori: Japanese talisman used to ward away spirits.

Lidéric: A demon of Hungarian origin that is a vampire-like incubus.

Zaisu: A Japanese chair with no back, or legs.

[sickficideas]

Hello it’s me Rui again! You’ve been so good to me recently for absolutely no reason at all but your own kindness. But I’m here to share some sickfics with you and the wonderful lurking community that looks at your page. 

In my opinion, I think that finding good bsd sickfics is actually really hard. So many of them are too short, not enough buildup, emit enough suffering… you get the idea. I tend to find that sickfics are best (in my opinion) when there is good buildup and absolute suffering that then elicits care :]

I have 411 (mainly soukoku) bookmarks, that vary between hurt/comfort and sickfics. (Most are hurt/comfort because sickfics that I like are hard to find). I’ve spent an unholy amount of time going through thousands of bsd fics to find satisfactory sickfics, and I thought I’d share them here for anyone else who struggles finding them <3

Mainly focusing on emeto fics for this blog because that’s what the central topic here is lol. I hope you enjoy some of my stash! If you end up liking it, maybe I can share my larger stash of hurt/comfort. I wish this category wasn’t so sparse.

» Nothing || Fraink5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365941

A sadder fic with a bit less emeto. TW for major character death. I know it’s not exactly emeto, but it has its moments, and I find that this short little fic provides some of the same things that standard emeto fics do. Definitively worth the read if you’re in the right headspace for character death.

» Nebulous || way1203 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

Beautiful Chuuya sickfic oneshot. It’s about the aftermath of corruption. There’s a lot of delirium, sometimes it is hard to suspend my disbelief, but I still enjoy this one a lot.

» You’re a Canary, I’m a Coal Mine || PlayRough - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

One of the more popular bsd sickfics writers, but I found myself needed to include this fic. It is quite long, but it’s basically just Dazai suffering from sickness and Chuuya assisting him. I’m ashamed to say this has become one of my bedtime stories.

» surely i’ll go bite the dirty dust || lizzielovessharks - https://archiveofourown.org/works/36533236

I can confidently proclaim this as one of the most criminally underrated bsd sickfics I’ve ever had the honour of discovering. Chuuya and Dazai are severely injured after a mission, Chuuya can hardly walk, and he’s sick. They just get so tormented but there’s so much comfort in this short and sweet fic. The ending always makes me smile, and I find myself coming back to this one very often.

» In Sickness and In Heath || TheShortestAlchemist - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48006802

Chuuya taking care of Dazai :]

Less emeto but still provides much comfort for the soul. 

» I’ll Take Care of You || Anonymous - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49949443

Sorry this one isn’t emeto either… but it’s chuuya being torment by Arahabaki so much that he gets a migraine that renders him unable to do anything. Still fulfills many sickfics desires.

» Poisoned Valentine || Wolf___Spirit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768785

Someone tries to send Chuuya home with poisoned chocolates with the intent to kill. However Dazai ends up eating them first, thus causing him to endure a lot of pain. (Read this honestly it’s wonderful)

» Burning Out || Trinity_of_Madness - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899161

Long term corruption side effects… that’s all I’m gonna say. Take it or leave it as you see fit :] (it’s very fluffy, however it is quite bittersweet in case that’s not what you’re looking for)

» crimson headache, aching blush || kaiunkaiku - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

More post corruption. Chuuya really needs a hug. He gets one. (Recommend reading lol)

» Underwater || TheGreatCatsby - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

I’m so sorry. Not as much of a sickfic, but gosh it has to be one of my favourite comfort oneshots to ever exist. Chuuya does have a small emeto moment though. Ahhhh I’m so sorry for getting off track in these recommendations, I just have so many 🪦

» A Joyless Ride || calmlb - https://archiveofourown.org/works/55224694

This one is beautiful. I personally love the motion sickness Dazai headcannon. And this does a perfect job at demonstrating it. Dazai and Chuuya are on a mission, but they have to escape via Chuuya’s motorcycle. Dazai gets motion sickness that Chuuya had not considered.

» on standby for you || lonelydoctors - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48558496

Chuuya is hit with a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him while he suffers. I really enjoyed this one. 

» Flashover || affectropia - https://archiveofourown.org/works/35640841

Bittersweet concept that is the reason behind this fic being a sickfic. However, it has a fluffy ending, and is only the care taking half of it. 

» beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall || saanoir

This fic has to be another criminally underrated one. It’s the insomniac Dazai headcannon, except he starts feeling badly. All alone, he remembers a promise him and Chuuya made years ago. Hurt, even more comfort.

» I Think I’ll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks || huntersserenity - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27219268

Chuuya has a drink poisoned. He is disoriented and not very functioning, but Dazai is there to assist him like he always is. (Very good, underrated, highly highly recommend)

Andd that’s all I got for now! Aside from another wonderful writers works that I didn’t include. Their username is ringingmaybelles and they make very very quality sickfics. Definitely read their work if you want the best there is to offer.

I’m sorry for the long list, I hope it is helpful/enjoyable. Sorry to come back and bother you with this essay. Thank you for letting me share these for the fellow sickfic enjoyers 😭😭😭

(Apologies in advance for the links not working I’m sorry ahh, you’d have to put it into your browser qwq)

RUI!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for us 💖💖💖 hehehe...you're so sweet🙈🙈

I know a lot of people on this blog loooove SKK as well, and you've included many sick Chuuya fics here which I find more difficult to come across...this hand selected list is so beautiful and I really appreciate all of the effort you went through to give this to us 🥺💖

It took me a little bit to get to this ask chronologically between all the asks in my inbox but here are clickable links compiled for everyone's ease, since tumblr asks took yours away hahaha!!

I've included short summaries from the fic's original summaries along with Rui's descriptions, but please head the warnings and tags on the fics themselves!

Enjoy and share with fellow SKK sickfic enjoyers :))) I haven't read many of these and I'm so excited to dive in 🙏 let me know if any of the links are wrong so I can fix them, and if any of these authors see this and want to be tagged on tumblr ;)

Nothing by Fraink5

"Chuuya wakes up with a terrible fever--except he can't stay awake. Dazai is determined to keep Chuuya from losing consciousness, but how long will it last?"

Nebulous by way1203

"Chuuya struggles with the aftermath of using Corruption too many times and Dazai helps him through it."

You're a Canary, I'm a Coal Mine by PlayRough

"Super self indulgent Dazai sickfic."

surely i'll go bite the dirty dust by lizzielovessharks

" "Come on Chuuya," He muttered quietly as they felt themself having to pull Chuuya harder and harder to keep up, "Just a little bit further." -- or more Chuuya angst :) "

In Sickness and In Health by TheShortestAlchemist

"Dazai is sick and Chuuya takes care of him like the loving bf he is~"

I'll Take Care of You by toucheslikethesun

"Dazai walks into the ADA to find a desperate and distressed Chuuya looking for him, haunted by Arahabaki and having been unable to sleep for a long time."

Poisoned Valentine by Wolf__Spirit

"On Valentine's Day, Dazai steals and eats some chocolates that were given to Chuuya in the mafia. Turns out they were poisoned chocolates."

Burning Out by Trinity_of_Madness

" “Chuuya… We have to go…” Dazai whispered and pulled him up unwillingly. -- Chuuya held his hand, followed his guide with his usual smile on his face. Dazai’s chest tightened painfully at the sight, and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling him into a tight embrace."

crimson headache by kaiunkaiku

"the aftermath of corruption is its own kind of hell."

Underwater by TheGreatCatsby

"Chuuya has never liked water, but he never thought about why."

A Joyless Ride by calmlb

"Dazai hates motorcycles but right now he doesn’t have a choice. It does not go well"

on standby for you by lonelydoctors

"Chuuya gets hit by a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him"

Flashover by affetropia

"Dazai tried again. Now, he gotta to deal with the pain, and Chuuya is there. He always is there when he needs."

beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall by saanoir

"Dazai, in the midst of suffering another bout of insomnia, remembers a promise he made to Chuuya a long time ago -- to go to him when he's feeling bad."

I Think I'll Just Collaspe Right Here, Thanks by huntersserenity

" ‘ ‘Samu,’ Chuuya groaned. ‘Wanna take a nap.’ -- ‘You can’t nap right now, darling,’ Dazai said." "

The end 🏁 Enjoy!!

[night-owl-bard]

My Personal Experience with Mizuki and Mizu5

Coming out, fear of abandonment, loneliness, and learning to trust others.

When I started liking and following the Project SEKAI franchise, the game hadn't even been released in its global version yet. So you can tell I’ve been here for quite some time.

I identified with Mizuki right from the beginning. A person whose defense mechanism is to avoid or joke around in tense or conflicting situations? Someone with deep-seated anxiety and fear of being alone? Someone who never shows their true self out of fear of rejection? Well, that’s just me.

When I first started following the story, I was about the same age as the characters. Now I’m older, with more life experience—which, while not a lot, still makes me quite different from how I was when I was Mizuki's age.

The 'core' of this character revolves around two things: identity and connection.

Mizuki wants to be themselves—to dress, behave, and live in a way that feels true and comfortable.

And Mizuki wants to have people by their side. They want to feel supported, to support others, to hang out with real friends, and to have people who stay in their life. They're tired of losing.

Mizuki believes these two desires can’t coexist.

At first, they purposely keep their distance from the rest of Niigo so that, when the inevitable happens and everyone leaves, it won’t hurt as much. Later, they decide to make the most of the time they have left with the group. Mizuki doesn’t doubt that Niigo might accept them; they fear that Niigo only accepts them out of kindness, as if it’s out of pity.

Mizuki doesn’t want to be treated like a charity case. They want genuine connection, true belonging.

I don’t relate as much to Mizuki’s personality (I think Kanade is the one most like me), but I deeply connect with their struggles around identity and gender expression (I’m agender and AFAB) as well as with their issues of trust and abandonment.

I’m doing much better these days, but I know all too well what it feels like to want to disappear, to push people away out of fear that they’ll leave first, to keep everyone at arm's length. I have amazing friends who give me all the support in the world (they’re my Rui, wishing my heart to be protected haha).

Sometimes, I still fear ending up alone, that other circumstances will drive us apart, or that they're only kind to me because they’re good people. But those are just the bad days, which eventually fade away into a sea of good ones.

When I look at Mizuki, I see my younger self—scared, sad, lonely, and hopeless. I deeply wish to see a healing arc for them, just like we’re seeing with Mafuyu. It would be wonderful to see a character I identify with so much learn that they can have a happy life.

That they can be themselves and still be loved

[kawaiichibiart]

PRSK Unit Shuffle AU Incorrect Quotes pt.3 (Kamiyama Second Year Students):

Rui: I love you.

Tsukasa: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*Rui and Tsukasa kiss passionately*

Shizuku , to Airi: You owe me 20 dollars.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Rui & Shizuku in the back of Tsukasa's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

Airi: We have food at home.

Tsukasa: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*

Rui & Shizuku : YAYYYYYY!

Tsukasa: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Tsukasa: You know, Shizuku gives Airi flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Rui: Okay.

*Later*

Rui: *gives Airi flowers*

Airi: ???

Rui: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Airi: Why is Rui crying on the floor?

Shizuku : He's drunk.

Airi: And?

Shizuku : He saw a picture of Tsukasa's boyfriend.

Airi: But he's Tsukasa's boyfriend.

Shizuku : I know.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Shizuku : I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Airi: Um...Neat.

*later*

Airi, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Tsukasa. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Tsukasa, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Airi. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Rui confessed his love for me?

Airi: Didn't you thank him?

Tsukasa: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Shizuku : How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Airi: *blushing* I—

Rui, butting into the conversation: Tsukasa is perfect, thanks for asking.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Tsukasa: Rui, I have a great idea.

Rui: Let’s hear it.

Tsukasa: We trick Shizuku and Airi to go out on a date together.

Rui: YES!

Rui: And hey, if that doesn’t work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—

Tsukasa, hitting him with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Tsukasa: Where's Airi?

Rui: Don't worry, I'll find her.

Rui, shouting: Shizuku sucks!

Airi, distantly: Shizuku is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Rui: Found her.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Shizuku : Good night.

Tsukasa: Sleep tight.

Airi: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself.

Rui: Great, now Tsukasa's crying.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Shizuku : Hey Tsukasa, wanna third wheel on my date with Airi tomorrow?

Tsukasa: Sure.

Shizuku : Rui! Wanna third wheel on my date with Airi tomorrow?

Shizuku : Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Tsukasa & Rui: ...

Airi: Shizuku ...

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Airi: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Rui: Put spaghetti in it.

Airi: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Shizuku : Put spaghetti in it.

Airi: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Tsukasa: Put spaghetti in it.

Airi: I am no longer taking suggestions.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Airi: Why do you look like that?

Tsukasa, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Airi: Like you’re dead.

Tsukasa: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Shizuku : Tsukasa accidentally called Rui “babe” in front of everyone today.

Tsukasa: *sobs into the floor*

[period-of-nocturne]

I listened to Mizuki commissioned song again lately. All of them.

I actually had very little thought about most of it. Most of the song's meaning stays unchanged, but a few sentences now feel extremely foreshadowy to me (we're making up words today)

I'll use Amiaryllis' lyrics to talk about the song btw (go check her cover she cooked). It might lead me to see things that weren't intented in the original song's writing because well, lyrics translation. But some of the more literal translation of the songs can feel very cryptic + I'm obsessed with Amia's cover so idc bear with me.

And to clarify the color-coding. Mizuki, Ena, Mafuyu, Kanade. I'll color the lines to clarify who sings what, but I need to specify that as much as the line distribution is made to fit each character's situation, every line that isn't sung by the focus character (Mizuki here) bears a double meaning, as it can be read and interpreted entirely from their perspective. It's their commissioned song for a reason, after all.

That's a way too long introduction. Let's get into the topic!

Staring with IDSmile :

"I've given up- tried to keep my distance"

"I've found defeat here in hide and seek.

I've lost my way to melancholy"

"To feel this pain or fade away ?"

A few lines that took another dimension after Mizu5, I think.

If you lost in hide and seek, it means you've been found. You've been seen.

Giving up, setting a distance (1003), getting lost... Fading away. What can I say. I believe lyrics speaks for themselves.

Lower is something else entierely.

"Admiration fades to distaste"

"Quiet meeting dissolves into farewell"

Sounds like Mizuki's fear in general. Except it became near tangible now.

"I raise my hazy voice as it scorches my throat, forgetting everything I'd cherished the most,

My mind, it draws a blank, what was I supposed to utter ? "

And that is Ena's line. Ena, in shock, unable to process what she heard and answer accordingly. Ena, screaming Mizuki's name in the corridor.

"A quiet whispers echoes through the halls. Hear out the wishes, hear out the wishes shared by all."

It might be just me, but I can't help but think about the school's corridor. People whispering as you walk by. Typical school bullying.

To Mafuyu, the 'wishes shared by all' are the high expectations pushed on her. To Mizuki, though...

"I don't know where to start, don't even know what I've lost sight of now. I don't know the answer but I pray they come to me somehow."

Kanade's but makes me think of how Mizuki was afraid to speak to Ena and wished someone did it for her. Ha. Ha. Ahem. It's not the first Kanade line that gives me that impression.

The full thing makes me think of how Ena is probably confused and not sure how to proceed. And by the way we know Mizuki is gone from real world but has Niigo noticed yet ? Do Ena knows what she has lost sight of now ♪ ?

I'm focusing on Mizu5 foreshadowing but I'm still freshly out of reading Mafuyu Engeki event and

"I promise that we'll make our great escape, someday and somehow" line sang by Kanade and Mafuyu together. Although it's a line from a Mizuki commi, Mizuki who's the one who told Mafuyu to run away Aaaaaaaa- anyway back on tracks!

"Whispered secret once obscured by tinted glass" Past tense. No more tinted glass. Secret exposed for everyone to see. Ena why is this your line oh my god I need to scream--

"Wondering how much longer could this truly last ?"

Well. It's Mizuover now.

I'm glad the chorus exists, still.

"I know we'll be connected in the end, no matter the cost."

It might be hellish as of now, but there's no need to worry. It will end up being fine. Trust.

Give me Your Night.

I want to talk about that song but there's little to say in Mizu5 context because that song. Isn't about Niigo.

I wish I had the source, but I heard Hinata Satou (Mizuki's VA), thought of the song as Mizuki speaking to Rui as they were recording. And. I can't not scream about the song seen through that lense.

But the Mizurui brainrot is too strong so I'll make it into its own post. Just to avoid this one being way too long.

I'm less confident about Kitty.

If there's foreshadowing here, it's not in lines you pick up.

The song is telling Mafuyu to run away. But I also somehow see Mizuki who start to question things.

Mafuyu is being told to run by a girl who start considering facing things. In that exact moment, they both share the feelings of doubt about how to proceed. Not sure they should speak up. Apprehending changes. But the will to make the first step for that change is right here, starting to grow. Something like that.

Escape for our Survival was the last Mizuki focus event before the Thorns, so it makes sense the hints are less subtle. Listening to it now, I feel like the song is telling me "Hey. It's coming."

On a side note I can't help but notice the use of the world Telecaster. In a Mizuki song. Mmh.

Bonus Keitai Renwa ?

Bonus Keitai Renwa. It was a commissioned song after all. Using Ami's lyrics🌸 again where I can. Filling the rest with wiki EN translation.

"All the things I say, they only seem to lead us astray, so what now ?"🌸 Ena trying to get closer to Mizuki desperately only to--

"Even though I try, I've only found a time for goodbye"🌸 MIZUKIIIIIIIIIIIII. YOU COME BACK HERE.

"The sweet sensations of the past, why is it they weren't meant to last ?"🌸 *Dies in 'Mizuki is afraid of change.'*

"Your fabricated kindness makes my heart goes insane." Why. Oh why. Why the concept of made-up, fake, kindness. Why here. Why now.

"It makes it hurt so much." Okay. Fine. Sure. I'm fine. No problem.

"I got lost searching for you" Go Enanan, go. Technically that line fits mfyd too.

"The whispers that don't exist in the chat history, I don't need them at all" mention of whispers again.

I can't make sense of the sentence tho. For the funfact, that song was commissioned for an alternate universe, as the plot of Niigo changed after the song was made. So they asked for another song for the Untilted track. Namely, Kuyamu to Katie Mirai.

So yeah a lot of Keitai Renwa lines are a bit cryptic, because they're talking about another story entirely. Any sense of foreshadowing here is purely coincidental.

Back on tracks

"Love me if that's what you please, hate me if it gives you ease"🌸 Mizuki asking for hate rather than a made-up kindness.

"Screaming out my deepest fear : Please don't leave me yet !"🌸

To an extent, it could fit them both. But it went to Ena. Ena would had to look at Mizuki running away without having the chance to speak.

Wait- please, don't go.

"Even if this love's gone cold, like the tea I've left alone, I would not lose hope and throw it all away"🌸 Unfortunately you didn't exactly did that, huh...

"Searching through my heart to find what to say"🌸 why does so many lines brings me back to lower ?

/"I still want to hear you speak with words [...]"

I still want to hear it from you. I haven't waited all this time for naught.

"To just connect with you, so, please... Are you there ?"

They sing that like together, except the 'with you' part that is only Ena. But in our specific context, the line feels like Ena's.

And that's about it. I can't say much more.

Sure, I could go through every Niigo cover that includes Mizuki and pick up every line that feels suspicious to me. I'm down the rabbit hole enough to do that.

But that post is long enough. If I find something earth-shattering in the covers, maybe I'll share it. Maybe.

[colourstreakgryffin]

I've had a horrible week. Like so mentally down bad rn. So I'd like comfort from a spider boy that's definitely NOT comfort material but he is to me. Can you do him with the sister reader again? I'm the same person who requested the other one. If you don't do double requests, it's fine, just ignore it. But if you do, can you do a scenario where the sister just breaks down in tears infront of him? it's a hurt/comfort type of thing. The reason as to why she cried is up to you. Have a good day!

Awww. I’m so sorry about that, doll. I doubt you’re gonna be upset by the time this comes out but here, I’ll try the best I can for you! Here is sweetie Rui

Ayaki Rui- Funnel Blanket

“Sister. Look at me” Rui demanded in a rather gentle voice, opposing the usual cold and stern one he is known for around this household. Displease Rui and you end up his next deepfried prey to chow on. Rui has always been different with you, he never laid a single finger on you in a harmful manner

He adores you for your devotion and loyalty, he has a obsessive passion to keep you with him at all times and making sure you’re happy is another task he must complete to perfection. All so you will never wish to turn against him, nor even think about it. Rui, right now, needed to find out what’s wrong with his precious sister

He only left you alone for a few minutes to go handle the flocks of nuisance slayers running amok his laborious backyard. He comes back to hysterical sobbing and his useless makeshift siblings closing the door to your bedroom. Rui shooed them all away in the snap of fingers and almost torn down the wooden frame. He didn’t care for the stupid building, he only cared for his beloved sister

You sobbed, hands flinching away from your own puffy red cheeks and red puffy eyes as Rui’s soft thumbs brushed over the tears rolling down your beautiful face. He couldn’t stand the fact something made you cry, if it’s a breathing creature. He will dice them into literal pieces. If it’s a inanimate object, he will grind it down into smithereens. He could give less of a fuck for the world around him, he just wanted to keep you as his forever. No matter what he must do

You honestly didn’t want to spill the beans of the cause to your current misery. It was such a pathetic concern and your rationality knew that very well, you were wasting your emotions and tears on something that’ll never happen, a imaginary scenario at best. Your mother and father were taking longer than suspected with that odd trio of slayers. It made you horrified that Rui would have to step in and risk his life to defend the family he spent so long building

You didn’t want Rui to risk it for you. You love him so much that it hurts. You shed your sadness for him, rather he asks for it or not. On Rui’s side, he saw no reason to fear those slayers with a single ounce nor should the one so important to him. He is a Lower Moon, a member of the Twelve Kizuki that is actually much stronger than his rank indicates

The slayers should fear him and the fact they make such a mess of your gorgeous eyes and drip that mess all over your cute arachnid-styled kimono has veins growing all over Rui’s deathly pale skin as his hands slide down your face to cup your hands, holding them closer to his chest. Enabling you to feel his steady heartbeat, for the first time in his entire existence, he had a real heartbeat

Rui wasn’t going to leave you alone ever again and he wasn’t going anywhere until you are smiling and laughing again before him. Your happiness is his, your safety is his. You are his, his precious… forever

“Dokusha. Who made you cry like this? What is the problem. I demand you tell me every detail”

[themarsmaiden]

Accolade

Yuri x Gn!Reader

alternate universe

Summary: [Name] and Yuri have known each other since they were kids. Always competing, and now they prepare for their final year in high school. For their colleges of choice, the science fair, and in love.

Case Study 1: Isami Yuri

August, the start of a new school year.

They’ve never liked Isami Yuri. He was conceited, condescending, and most of all he was bitch. Yuri was a self centered, full grown, 17 year old bitch.

[Name] had known him since the first grade, and nothing about him has changed.

Take exhibit a: the first grade spelling bee

“[Name] spell extraordinary”

“E-x-t-r-a-o-r-d-i-n-a-r-y” they smile, proud of themselves, then hear a whisper from their right, “a baby could’ve spelt that.” A small boy stood there, smug and tall.

“Yuri, spell tenacious.”

“t-e-n-a-c-i-o-u-s” he smiled proudly.

This went back and forth for several more rounds until only those two stood. In the end Yuri was the one to win.

[Name] did not hold a grudge over this anymore, that would be childish. However they would hold a grudge over exhibit b: science fair, junior year.

“Second place?! Who won first??” They look down at their computer in bewilderment. How could they not have won this year? They had made a working liver!

Granted it only worked on pigs so far, but it worked it really did work!

They opened and scrolled through the excel spread of names attached to their ‘congratulations’ email.

Lying right above their name was written, “Yuri Sami: Frankenstein’s Monster”

They gawked silently, appalled. Did he really..?

“No. I did not reanimate dead. That would be stupid.”

The man in question appeared behind them, unpleasantly surprising them. “I did a year long study into the care and treatment of a boy named Jiro, successfully waking him from his coma.”

He bragged then left, leaving [Name] stunned alone in their school’s library.

[Name] could not forgive him for the embarrassment they felt after the librarian came to ask them what was wrong, and then after finding out what happened, insinuated that they might actually like him!

They are unsure how anyone could come to the conclusion. How could anyone enjoy his presence to begin with?

Yet here they find themself, studying him from afar.

First period, the first day of their senior year.

August 13th, a Tuesday.

He was alone in the back of the class, his nose stuck in a book that read “Care for the fragile” upon its cover. Class was soon about to start but he displayed no worry.

Soon after, students filled the seats around him. His demeanor did not change.

Only when the bell rang did he close the book and put his attention towards the class at hand.

English Literature

It was not a subject that either of them had paid particular mind to since elementary school, when they both decided to head down a doctoral path.

The rest of the day created a pattern in his behavior:

Get to class early, read, pay attention. (Of course the two did not share every class, so this observation could have its faults.)

The moment when this changed was eighth period Advanced Biology.

This was a freshman topic, however the advanced version of the course was only available to upperclassmen. This makes it a prime choice for two nerds interested in this exact subject.

Yuri gets to class early, the pattern continues, however contrary to his previous behaviors, he does not take out the text book. Instead, he waits attentively.

“With the way you’ve been staring all day someone might mistake your attention as affection.” Someone sits in front of [Name] blocking their view.

The person was none other than Rui Mizuki. “If I knew any better I’d be wishing for your gaze to be on me instead.”

He snapped them out of it, making them roll their eyes. “Can it, Rui.” He laughs at their reaction. “But no seriously, you’ve been staring at him all day.”

“It’s a case study Rui. I’m trying to get into the inner mind of one Isami Yuri to make sure I ensure a victory this year.”

He sighs, “The science fair? Again?” The student in front of him nods in response. “Can’t you let it go? You take these losses too seriously! You should focus on your victories! The second grade spelling bee, middle school valedictorian, and let’s not forget sophomore science fair.” He lists their victories, which seem to go in one ear at out the other.

“You don’t get it do you? It’s not about the victories, it's about the lack of victories! They should all be victories. Losing to him is embarrassing.”

“Your obsession with this is embarrassing.”

“Just because you’re my best friend does not mean you get to say something that insulting Mizuki Rui!”

Best friend: Rui Mizuki

Relation to the case: an outside spector with less than appropriate comments.

This is best understood in exhibit c: middle school.

To save the redundant amount of details, a brief example explains all the accounts.

Yuri and [Name] compete, yuri wins? [Name] complains to Rui and he comforts them. [Name] wins, Rui listens to them brag for a week straight.

It was straightforward, and simple. Of course there was also the added details of Rui practically saving [Name] every time another student thought they were bigger and tougher and threatened them for ‘being nerdy.’ (Cartoony but middle schoolers will be middle schoolers)

They truly owed him big time, but that does not forgive his stupidity. No matter how smart he truly was underneath all his casanova flirting.

The blond was about to retort, when the teacher walked in from the hall closing the door behind him.

It was a teacher they had before, Professor Dante. He was a presumably tall man, who’s height was visually limited by the wheelchair he found himself attached to.

No one knew what happened to the professor, but rumors had circulated about him being injured by a student. Though his condition could very easily as well be from birth.

This was unimportant, as what he was about to say was much more important.

The science fair.

A mandatory part of every advanced science class. Much to half of the class’ dismay, [Name] was thoroughly interested in this topic.

Unfortunately it was skimmed over, along with a mention of a year long project to start next month.

It was no worries, both of these things were to come in due time. And in due time, [Name] would beat Yuri Isami once and for all, and then never have to deal with him ever again.

Dante discussed the syllabus for the class a little longer before dismissing the class to do a simple back to school project.

“Seriously though, [Name], you need to start focusing on other things for once. Like for example homecoming, and who you’re gonna take, and how it’s going to be me.” Rui started talking again, as he picked up his pen to start writing on the small papers that the teacher was passing out.

They rolled their eyes in response, “I’m not going to homecoming, and I certainly wouldn’t take you.”

“You hate me and you want me to die.”

[Name] does not reply to Rui, simply rolling their eyes and getting to work. “Well if you had to take someone to homecoming, who would you take?” He asks, pointing his pen in their direction as he does so.

The student frowns, “You know the answer to that.”

Rui sighs, “Lucas Errant?” he asks, putting his pencil down. “Ding, finally something logical out of your mouth this period.”

Rui finally starts writing on his paper, they were simple ‘about me’s’, an annoying yet necessary part to the start of every class. “You’ve had a crush on him since freshman year.”

“Can you blame me? He is the perfect man, by all logical reasoning he is the only choice.” They finish up the small ‘about me’, and slide it towards the edge of the lab table they shared with Rui. “You’re done?”

“I was actually doing it, instead of gossiping. Which proves all prior points about my priorities.”

Rui rolls his eyes and finishes up his paper, “It does not, but to each their own, my love.” He slides his paper to be where [Name]’s was.

“Of course vermin like you would spend all the allotted time with drab chatter.” Yuri comes around and grabs the papers on the tall table.

“At least I have friends.” [Name] retorts back.

“I have friends!” He stutters out.

“Jiro doesn’t count, he's a patient.” They refute.

“Well-” Just as Yuri was about to speak, Professor Dante comes around and grabs the papers from his student and interrupts his voice. “It’s the same every year with you two. Would it kill you to just get along?”

Without missing a beat they both respond “Yes.”

He sighs, “You two are seniors now, it’s time you start acting more mature. At least start acting cordially with one another during this period.” They both stay silent. “For me? Or else I’ll force you to work together until you can.”

The two seniors glared at each other, and then the bell rang.

“Let’s go Rui.” [Name] picks up their bag and walks out the class, Rui rushes to join them.

It seems a new challenge approached Case Study: Isami Yuri, acting cordial with him.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“Dante has no idea what he’s talking about!”

It had been a week, and nothing has changed in Dante’s favor. [Name] and Yuri were still bickering and competing as always.

Just today, the two competed over who could finish a lab the fastest. A group assignment that was supposed to take a while.

“I’m sure he does.” replied a voice from above the couch that [Name] had slumped themselves upon.

It was a maroon velvet couch with elaborate detailing dyed into it, classic decor of the voice who was speaking to them.

Edward Hart, a stay at home shut in who spends his time doing online school and watching twitch. The entire concept brings a tear to [Name]’s eye, they might keel over if that were them.

Luckily, it wasn’t. Though they couldn’t fault the man either, it was hard to go out due to his condition. They could get on him for slacking off though, but that was a topic for case study: Hart Edward. (a document that has already been made)

“What do you mean by that?” They look up at him as he moves to sit next to them. “Just that, perhaps, it was time you started acting more mature. In the real world you’ll have to work with people you don’t like all the time. I think he wants you two to know that.”

[Name] sighs, “I can work with people I don’t like! It’s just Yuri that I can’t tolerate.” Edward shakes his head, “There’s also the fact that as a teacher, having two intellectuals constantly fighting like children might not be the best thing in the world.”

“You talk like you have experience Ed, may I remind you you have none??” They point this out to the dark haired man next to them.

“I may not have experience, but YouTube does.” His rebuttal wasn’t a strong one, but [Name] wasn’t about to argue with him today on something this trivial when they can turn their attention to Rui who was walking into the living room with a plate of freshly baked pastries.

“You know I think Dante is onto something as well, it’d be nice to hear less about Yuri and more about myself for once.” He jokes, setting the plate down on the dark oak coffee table that sat in front of the couch.

“I don’t talk about Yuri that much!” [Name] raises their voice slightly, shocked and appalled that their friend would say such a thing.

The other two gave them an unconvinced look, “You literally only talk about beating him at science fair.” Rui says, picking up a sweet and popping it into his mouth.

“Do not! I also talk about my grades, and maybe video games, and yeah maybe the science fair but! Not always.” They complain back to him, grabbing a sweet for their own and tasting it.

“Exhibit A: Today, at lunch, I could not talk about my homecoming plans without you mentioning how homecoming was unimportant because you had to start on the science fair, so you can beat Yuri.” Rui retorts, mocking them a little by doing so.

“Or how about exhibit b? Last week’s rant about him from the first day of school.” Added Edward, who had previously been too busy eating a pastry to talk.

“Fine! But can you blame me?” They got a similar uninterested look, “Ok whatever, but you’ll see this will all pay off when I’m accepted into an Ivy League and he isn’t.”

“Whatever you wish to tell yourself, I will not stop you.” Edward dismisses them, to which Rui sighs. “Same here, I know there’s no stopping you when you’re already committed to something. But I do still think you should be a teenager some more! We don’t have long left.”

“I know, I know, I’ll take your suggestions into consideration. But only because it’s you.”

The conversation dropped and the 3 teens began talking about less important things, like what to watch. They ended up putting on Alpharad, by suggestion of Edward until the night got dark.

Edward and Rui lived together with another roommate named Lyca, who had been busy at the moment. This leads to [Name] often staying the night when they needed some space from home, or it got too late when hanging out.

It also helps that they live walking distance, which is how [Name] met Rui to begin with. (Of course when they met, his parents were still living with him and not out traveling the world.)

The rest of the month passed in a flash. School was slow and easy as everyone was getting back into the pace of things. Homecoming came and went. (Which [Name] did not go to, much to Rui’s dismay.) And Case Study: Isami Yuri saw no improvements.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

A/N: first chapter :3 this will go on ao3 soon!!! I hope you enjoyed this one!! Updates will probably 3-5 days depending on how inspired I am ^^

MasterDoc

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[pjsk-headcanons]

*deep breath pt 2* YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!! MMJ UNIT SWAP LORE THIS TIME!! EXCEPT THAT IS NOT THEIR NAME!! (again heavily simplified for the sake of your blog)

mmj: shizuku (unit leader), ena, mafuyu, rui

MORE MORE JUMP! -> stage○•SHOWTIME!

-shizuku realized that the reason why people wanted her as an idol was because she has a pretty face, and that no other part of her was idol-like

-decided out of spite and some sort of desire to prove herself (to whom? who knows ;) hehe)

-met mafuyu at archery club. you probably know what happened next

-honestly trying to figure out how mafumom didnt reject the idea. probably brushed it off as a "side hustle" and "good work experience"

-mafuyu's "good girl" persona is badly crafted. she has snapped in public and will snap in public.

-they met ena while out on a cafe stroll. ena could not believe that she was being offered the chance of a lifetime and took it without hesitation.

-the trio were checking out some places they could do preformances at when 1. mafuyu snapped when she heard someone badmouth shizuku and 2. they met rui taking "a walk" (he was probably figuring out how to bomb his school" and rui manages to convince them to hang out.

-they learn that rui is VERY GOOD at management. you know what happens x2

-shizuku wanted an all girls group but rui is just so girlypop yk haha

-shizuku - unit leader/choreo, mafuyu - main vocalist/designer, ena - lyricist/illustrator, rui - manager/composer

TRUST RANKS

mafuyu - shizuku -> "beauty and honor" (how theyre seen at school), "archery aces" (they are both very good at their club activities in this au. once again i forgot if this is canon), "mask of perfection" (iykyk yadada *cries*)

rui - ena -> "that guy from school..." (bless ena for attending night classes she does NOT know what happens at kamiyama day classes. she only knows rui from occasional talks with a certain someone), "newfound respect", "follow that dream again" (rui and ena can fufill their passions now! yay!)

shizuku - ena -> "social media stars", "i wish i was your sister", "out of spite, out of love" (heh. up to interpretation.)

rui - mafuyu -> "two different purples" (is this just about hair? or something else? ;)), "author and artist" (not literally, composer and singer is what i meant but this sounds cooler sorry ena), "a facade or yourself?" (this is a point in the main story where rui finds out about mafuyus persona. very important line)

mafuyu - ena -> "speaking your words" (again. just pointing out roles), "family, right?" (mafumom is still mafumom and the shinonome household is a bit more problematic hehe), "if i was you..." (reference to original nightcords main story about how ena complains about mafuyu having the life ena wants. might keep it here?)

shizuku - rui -> "elegant with downsides" (rui being bonkers, at least with school, and shizuku being clumsy and bad w technology), "frontstage and backstage" (like nene, rui wasnt actually preforming with the rest of stage○•SHOWTIME! until later), "opposites in every way" (thank about it - opposite hair length, hair colour, eye colour, role in the group (w songs too), technology, school...yapyapyap)

anyways thanks for screaming in the tags mod it actually makes me so happy i love reading your opinions in the tags. please yap more its so fun to read

next is vbs!! who do you think is in there??

🌐 anon

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