#makes my blood absolutely fucking boil
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I just want a good cry fuckin hell
#having only the most Healthy and Healed From Trauma thoughts tonight#totally didnt hurt my own feelings again wondering if I’d be good enough for them to not want to hurt me if I was still with them#A thought which is Normal To Have and Possible to Justify#and I /know/ their behavior wasnt reflective of my value but brain is being brain tonight I guess#theres an evil little part of me that hopes she kept up some nights feeling bad about everything she put me through#but also the thought that she could damage me so deeply that I still have breakdowns years later and she might not even remember me#makes my blood absolutely fucking boil#and I’m still picking out phrases of theirs from my own speech like picking gristle out from your teeth#fuck man#personal
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“Tgcf is like the trolley problem except it’s Xie Lian’s fault that everyone dies because he wants to stop the trolley.” No, Tgcf is “like” the trolley problem if the problem was that every time Xie Lian attempted to stop a trolley, the trolley owner builds another trolley and sends it hurtling down another track to mass murder another set of people to prove to Xie Lian that the only “reasonable” response to witnessing mass death occurring is to stand to the side to watch the trolley kill the people you think least deserving of life, maybe while asking the trolley driver—who wants to kill—to slow down a little (but only maybe). In that regard, the op of that wretched take and the trolley owner seem to be on the same wavelength.
#tgcf#truly and honestly need fandom memers#to maybe read the fucking room#before making bullshit like this#and i really really need fans to look at posts like that#and go ‘wow this us actually a fucked up politic to proudly profess to in a joke#especially considering THE CURRENT STATE OF THE WORLD’#sorry i know i said i don’t make pointed posts about things#but the fact that that post was made AND became popular#absolutely boils my blood#nothing that is said in fandom is said in a fucking vacuum#but i expect people who apparently can’t even read texts to be able to read the room? jokes on me
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instagram commenters have a correct opinion challenge failed
#‘bubba does nothing to help 23xi’ how does it feel to be absolutely fucking wrong LMAO.#that shit makes my blood boil!!!!! how dare you say that bubba does nothing!!!!!#textposts
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After 19 years, my Katrina PTSD has mostly dissipated, only really flaring up around the anniversary and whenever we have to evacuate from a storm.
And then someone brings up Sheri Fink’s Five Days At Memorial and then my mind just goes black with rage and I want to rip out their eyes with my bare hands.
#for the record I tend to deeply hate all carpetbagger Katrina literature#(with VERY few exceptions)#but as someone who went through Katrina and grew up to be a journalist I have such a loathing for this piece of shit book#the shoddy and sensationalist journalism the fact that this bitch used our tragedy to carve a name for herself#the fact that she turned a story of absolute abandonment and power failure into a bullshit ‘true crime’ tale in order to sell books#makes my blood fucking boil man#also all the national media praising this book (and so many other horseshit books) while ignoring works by local journalists#as well as local writers and playwrights and artists#speaks fucking volumes#the realization at 15 that the rest of the country doesn’t give a fuck if we die was hard to swallow#and it’s hard to be reminded of#hurricane katrina#Sheri fink#five days at memorial#ptsd#(people don’t tend to talk about deep rage as a ptsd symptom and I feel like they should.)
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There need to be more post-POA fics where Sirius doesn’t grovel for Remus’s forgiveness (because he didn’t do anything wrong!), and where he actually gets to be properly angry at everyone who left him to rot (Remus, McGonagall, Andromeda, Dumbledore, etc.)
#miss padfootastic i have been thinking about this since i saw your ask this morning#but it makes my blood boil!#every single person who knew and 'loved' him believed he was the traitor without a second thought#literally no one questioned it!#and then in fics SIRIUS is the one apologizing????#absolutely the fuck not#sirius black#chaos night#honestly the only person who never let sirius down was james#and harry of course b/c he's a bb#r/s can be together but make remus work for it!!!!!
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i genuinely want to tear someones throat out with my teeth
#why do i need a fucking authentificator app to access my uni email but that app just sends me to another website that tells me to GUESS WHAT#DOWNLOAD THE SAME FUCKING APP#I ALREADY HAVE IT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT#I FUCKING HATE THIS#autenthificator apps are the scourge of our society#random boli thoughts#theres few things that make my blood boil but the ONE thats absolutely foolproof is making stuff unnecessarily complicated#i am about to become homicidal fr
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man i hate twitter. if i didnt need a social media presence for art, i would delete it immediately. g@m3rz are pissing me off
#blaming problems on diversity makes my blood boil#absolute dogshit#sbi is probably garbage but it's not the cause of problems with games#and i hate how the people calling this shit out are getting shat on by randos#there's so many that i can't block all of them#seriously i cant express how angry it makes me. i work in the games industry#it's not that fucking diverse#leadership is probably all white people#the people making the big decisions are all white why the fuck would diversity be the PROBLEM#jfc i would love to work with a more diverse team#it really sucks being surrounded by 99% cis white het men when you're not that#screaming into the void#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#dumping all my fury into tags bc i can't do anything else and I'm sure as hell not gonna talk about it on twatter#fuck
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seeing everyone on twt connecting the dots to see the rabbit in the photo n shit... idk it just grinds my gears lmao. even the ribos are excited. I don't get it. I rly don't get it.
#does no one else see the problem.#yeah nbd bouncy ended in july. fast forward not even three months later. this bullshit?#and with not even eight? are u guys just begging for jh to not be in a cb?#wouldn't be surprised considering how little screentime he has been getting in mvs 🙃#and nbd that it's award season coming up so it's going to be extra hell for them bc more work and prep to do#ppl can yell and scream about how they're overworked but as soon as the vaguest cb announcement happens... hive mind#it's absolutely fucking ridiculous and makes my blood boil#apple lady words#like i said earlier i dont want to make any announcements this early like 'im not supporting the cb' or something like that#but if it comes to it.#...
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i think that youtubers, streamers, social media influencers, and any other person online with an even REMOTELY sizable platform have a responsibility to use that platform to speak out against things like israel's genociding/ethnic cleansing of palestinians. to condemn it wholeheartedly and be VOCAL about how abhorrent and sickening it is. how we ALL need to speak up and NEVER let israel's war crimes fade from the public eye. i think hiding behind the statement "i don't like to bring up politics in my content" is an absolutely pitiful "excuse." this isn't a fucking political issue. this is the mass slaughter of hundreds of thousands, if not every single one of the MILLIONS of people who reside in palestine, gaza, and any other place else that has been, or currently is being, targeted by israel. i hope that it forever haunts their conscience that their silence contributes to this fucking genocide. even the creators that i love.
#specifically looking at people like markiplier and jerma#(even more specifically mark)#i don't understand how you can speak on things like blm and george floyd's murder (also very important things don't get me wrong) but not#comment on a this genocide.#imagine having over 35 MILLION subscribers and not saying a fucking word.#it makes my blood boil so much#sorry to focus on mark here for a moment but like. i'm honestly getting really fucking sick of his constant silence on human rights (and in#this case human lives). you have such a big fucking platform and you use it for fuck all actually important stuff?????#when was the last time he spoke on the constant attacks on and stripping of queer rights. when was the last time he actively weeded out and#told bigots to fuck off and never watch his content again. at least with jerma there's strict rules enforced in his live chat that bigotry#is prohibited and that you WILL get banned for it. but mark? absolute. fucking. silence.#god. i need a fucking cigarette but the dumbass weather is raining out rn
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as someone who knows people who've been adopted, I always get annoyed at the "the Jedi took children away from their families!!"
Family isn't blood. Stop that. Family are the people who care about you. Family can be two parents, siblings, and what we typically think of. Or it can be an entire group of people who understand you and help you grow as a person who have no blood relation to you.
#every single Jedi had a blood family who realized the Jedi were a better option for them#and made that decision for them to join the Jedi family#it makes my blood boil when people make those kind of fucking comments#it really shows absolute ignorance of how the Jedi function#but it also lessens the bonds of adopted people with their families and it fucking hurts it hurts so bad#adopted families are not less than blood families get that out of your damn heads
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Serot's own arsenal of spells and generally how he applies necrotic magic differs from modern day Anactaci. You can clearly see the foundation he laid, but it has been over a thousand years. The order has evolved considerably in that time. There's also the fact that he was reborn at level one and has structured his skills to suit his present needs, but [hand waves]
There are different sects and roles within the Anactaci who call on the Plane of Death in different ways, but certain generalities can be relied upon. Their magic is largely geared toward what would be considered divination. They are the bridge between this life and the next, the messengers of eternity. They commune both with the souls of the dead and with spirits — chiefly spirits / entities on the Plane of Death but spirits of all types, including those like Refhremmit. Indeed, every City of Eternity has one Anactaci dedicated to communing with their patron. It is a sacred office.
Beyond that, their magic is deeply focused on the soul and the threshold between life and death. They are adept at identifying and countering curses or maladies of the soul. They are adept at identifying and addressing possessions or spiritual attachments. The skilled can manipulate the ravages of time on a body or object (a skill shared with the Manthu). The most skilled of all can leave their bodies behind to inhabit ritually prepared objects; these become the teachers of the Anactaci and keepers of the deepest mysteries.
Yes of course, they animate and preserve corpses, either directly or by calling a spirit to inhabit it. This is part of Meketi funerary rites. But, simply making dead things move is only part of their skillset. Indeed, it's the most basic part.
Anactaci are bound by sacred oaths to turn their magic to holy purpose and with a thought for balance always. However, a truly irate or unscrupulous Anactaci could do serious damage. Particularly if they are skilled. Insidious curses and nigh-undetectable possessions (i.e. slowly driving a person to madness with ill luck or nightmares; far worse curses are possible). Yanking a person's soul directly from their body, either holding it captive or causing it to become lost. Learning secrets from spirits or from souls that can utterly destroy a person. Causing them to rapidly age, turning to sun-bleached bone before their eyes, one limb at a time. Or causing them to wither, then return to their correct age, then wither, then return to their correct age — over and over until they don't know whether they're alive or dead. If capable of severing their soul from their body, they can possess others directly, influencing or totally overriding their will. They might not touch a person at all; they might sap all life from their home instead.
Fortunately, such corrupt Anactaci are rare — and swiftly dealt with.
#META / HC: WORLDBUILDING.#RE: ANACTACI#this isn't a polished meta#but I'm reading about Chosen so obvs magical abilities are on my mind#Serot's rain of blood and animate blood he learned as a ghul lord have the fucking pizzazz#but modern Anactaci are frightening in ways you don't think to fear til it's too late#or rather they have the potential to be if they forsake their oaths#which has consequences. Anactaci and Manthu both are literally bound by their oaths. those tattoos aren't merely aesthetic#but that's a discussion for another time#Serot getting angry enough to yank someone's soul directly out of their body tho . . .#he would have to be beyond incensed for that#and would feel absolutely disgusted with himself afterward. like might vomit type of disgusted#still. if Serot wasn't a moral man. he could be horrifying#he could make your blood boil you alive from the inside#he could make your own body turn against you while you're trapped inside helpless#he could keep your soul in a jar while he puppets your body#and allows you to learn whether the incorporeal can feel torment#he could call the Plane of Death into your very soul and watch it consume all life within you#and leave your body to infect anyone else nearby with the same fate#he could banish part of you to the Plane of Death so that the part of you on the Material Plane experiences that torment without reprieve#and must live from then on missing something with a searing ache that was swallowed by death itself#or he could banish you there just briefly and pull you back before you exploded. dangling you just above death like a pot of boiling oil#he could call down plagues. he could raise droves of undead their ranks replenished by their victims#he could drain life from the very earth itself#he WON'T but he COULD#well also it's gonna take time to get back to the power level he was at before dying in his first life#and frankly he doesn't want to be back at the level if he doesn't have to be#but y'know. first life. if he'd been a cruel man.
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ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)
HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)
& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.
STARTING WITH my big ones.
my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),
ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)
another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool
AND my smaller blades!
i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)
& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)
many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.
SOME FOCUSES:
^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.
& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!
on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.
on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.
all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3
#speculation nation#knives#what this boils down to are. my favorites are: Big Hefty Machete that i managed to stab myself with on accident#by dropping it point-first on my finger (whoops)#a plain silver knife i got from a sketchy shop in gatlinburg (there really are so many there) that just feels SO good to use#a beautiful green dragon knife bc it's well balanced & feels great to open. also pretty.#black stiletto knife just bc i love how it feels in my hand. it's also very pointy#& small black knife bc she's ol' faithful. & great for using for average shit to not freak people out#(imagine if i brought ol' Hefty Rainbow out w/ its glass breaking base & wonderful hooked blade. ppl would give me Looks for sure)#i love many other knives but those r my favs#if i had to pick an ABSOLUTE fav it'd have to be my machete. it having drawn my blood did Not discourage me from loving it#it feels very uhh. idk it makes me feel secure having it nearby#if for nothing else than someone seeing me wield that & being like 'what the FUCK' bc it's kinda pretty intimidating lol.#long and heavy. wouldnt actually be great for combat bc that thin part between the blade & the hilt could snap the moment you hit bone#but good for me i never intend to use my blades for that! it feels comforting mostly as an intimidation factor.#the comfort being like. if someone broke in lol. that's why i sleep with it in my bed frame. so i can have it onhand Just In Case#aka it's like sleeping with a gun under my pillow except i just keep a massive fucking knife next to me instead. works for me#not the longest of my blades but it's the heaviest of my blades by far. i feel very lucky to own it.#anyways this has been the Knife Ramble by yours truly. this took me like 2 hours to gather & take pictures of & write this summary#APPRECIATE MY WORK at documenting my collection. this is the first time ive done this in several years.#wish i'd found that nonbinary knife first... oh well...
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frustrating how so many craft books have a section about "how to sell what you've made"
like on one hand i get it because the person writing the book has obviously made their craft a full-time job. and they might have some tips and tricks that might be useful, and there are people out there who might be trying to start a small business out of it
but on the other hand it's just exhausting and feels like another voice saying "what's the point of having a hobby if you're not going to monetize it"
#the one of those that rly boils my blood. that i still think about all the time. almost ten years later#the art of language invention by david peterson lmao. fuck that. it is NOT actually a helpful resource if youre trying to get into conlang#in the intro he pretty explicitly was like 'yeah i'm only writing this bc the publishing house approached me bc#i made up some languages for the game of thrones show and that's popular so they thought it would sell'#the meat of the book itself is pretty rudimentary stuff iirc. 'here's the ipa chart. this is what a morpheme is.'#some cool stuff in there about how to build your own font and mess with the kerning to make cursive but it was a program i dont have so#and at the end. hoooooo boy. this is where u can tell they told him to put in this kind of section bc he basically straight up said#'if you're reading this because you want to learn how to build a fantasy conlang dont bother :)#if you weren't on this specific forum in 2002 youll never get it. just hire a Real Conlanger instead'#like. that absolutely colored the rest of the book preceding it bc the entire thing was stuff i had literally just learned#in the intro to linguistics class that inspired me to want to learn how to make a language. so it was nothing new#and the added antagonism of basically saying 'if you dont already know how to do this IM not gonna help bc you'd be competition'#again i understand why he had that attitude bc that's probably how the publisher pitched it in the first place#'this is going to be a book for the average joe who knows nothing about language mechanics and might have aspirations#of writing a story with its own language (because obviously gameofthrones was the first to do that /s) and is wondering how to do it'#but just a very weird attitude to have#mine
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i’ve seen far too many tiktoks made purely with the intention of making fun of other people at tour (for their outfits, for how excited they got, for what songs they did or didn’t know…i could go on) and i just want to say i wish every single person who feels the need to not only make fun of someone but to do it on the internet a very fuck you. leave your mean girl energy at home idc
#i’ve seen so many and they all make my skin crawl why do people think it’s cute to unabashedly make fun of others for no reason#the most recent one i saw was someone making fun of a person a row or two ahead of them for shazaming illicit affairs#and yknow what??? who fucking cares. i don’t blame them. if folklore/evermore isn’t your vibe you might NOT know it#and yknow what????? i’m SURE there are songs the strictly folkmore girlies don’t know so well#illicit affairs is Not a song so widespread and well known and it’s on the setlist anyway. you enjoy yourself and stop worrying abt others#makes my blood BOIL#i thought we were way past the whole. only xyz people who know xyz songs get to go to tour. stop it#people paid money to go just like you did and good for them if they got tickets and wanted to have a good time#for some people that’s all this is!!! a concert!!!! a fun time!!!!! let them live!!!!!!!!#my sister is trying to learn the songs on the setlist and she’ll absolutely ask me to clarify if she doesn’t remember. that’s okay#doesn’t make her any less excited to be there or entitled to be there or any less of a fan vs anyone else#grow the fuck up#sorry i’m mad now#this has been a rant#taylor swift#eras tour
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absolutely perfect that the protest bill passed a year ago or so but actual leftist marches are the only ones claimed to be disruptive and actual nazis can make an even bigger display and not get shit for it
this is the same fucking country that can have pedestrians beat the shit out of climate change protestors and the police just fucking STAND THERE
and have a weird fucking counter protest group telling them to shut the fuck up as if it's the greatest use of their time
this is the same fucking country that dismantled a quiet vigil that was about a woman brutally murdered by a monstrous police officer and claimed it was an unlawful gathering whilst fuck all was done about anti lockdown protestors and retroactively about 17 fucking Christmas parties the government were having
I am literally homicidal just having to live in this fucking country
#nothing makes my blood boil more than hearing about any of this shit#vent#rant#this fucking protest bill has destroyed people's braincells along with fucking brexit#and former pm throwing a temper tantrum about having to step down#because of the covid inquiry#these people are nothing short of absolutely demonic#and we're being dragged the fuck down with them#selfish monstrous bastards#uk politics#die. all of you.
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nothing ever has made me or will make me as mad as that fucking "most beautiful suicide" photo. a photo taken of a dead woman whose suicide note read, and i quote, "I don't want anyone in or out of my family to see any part of me. could you destroy my body by cremation?" and then SOME MAN comes along and takes a picture of her body and spreads it everywhere.
it still exists. the photo outlives her, it probably even outlives her family members. and it makes me so angry that this woman was not only denied her one final wish, but ogled by generations of people who ignore the fact that she was a depressed, mentally ill woman who fucking killed herself.
why is there no respect for the dead?
#it reminds me of marilyn monroe and how her life was an absolute tragedy but still her image and her fame are exploited#and she is never given peace#just. fucking. have some respect#god it makes my blood boil every time i remember it#audrey speaks
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