#makes me so mad bc i have had teachers who say it wrong on purpose bc they think its the correct way LIKE BRO ITS MY NAME

[arolegos]

having a somewhat rare name so i just have to sigh and shake my head everytime someone mispells it or says it wrong. i don't even care anymore actually

[megismorallysunny]

25/09/23

i might upload 2 today bc i have a lot, not from today just in general, so much so that i wrote it down. i had science first, turns out the school wanted every teacher for their first class to show their classes the new one way system because they felt it was clogged up. its really fucking stupid and we were supposed to follow it as soon as we left first class.. spoiler alert no one did, absolutely no one, i didnt see any teachers not following but no students are. I feel like using that system its only a matter of time before a 1st year gets hit by a car, your supposed to go outside to get to some classes that would have only been a few metres away now, and the way you go sometimes has cars on it, i seen one going pretty fast just a minute after class started.

i had irish after science and turns out that irish hw i was doing wasnt even the hw, and i had already done the hw a week ago, omg i just cant but it was a-ok. after that was maths, everyone was in for once so there wasnt enough seats for everyone, hopefully 4k4 and his other friend 5k5 dont steal my seat, i worked my ass off for that. a student who came 2 weeks ago, nickname -bluebird, is just annoying, its not that shes done anything wrong its that shes a complete loner, wont talk to anyone, not like ive tried but more in the sense, you wont hear even a squeak. in business she doesnt take down notes, in maths she doesnt do questions (not that i can say much) and in french she doesnt even know ça va and wont do her french hw. so yeah plain infuriating. i did my english hw wrong after i spent an hour carefully constructing only a third of my answer for an hour last night. my friends went to the shop but i didnt bc i wanted to stay in the cspe classroom and eat my lunch and maybe also read trollhunter fanfics, hard enough to find good ones involving a very cute and fluffy relationship between jim and walter. anyways we had to have a fake election in cspe, to try out ballot box voting, in first year for student council i tied with another girl for top votes. guess how many i got this time? yeah thats right a solid one, thinking about it makes me sad, does no one like me anymore??? but i laughed at the time even tho every1 looked back at me, it felt really dehumanising, the only way i deal with bad situations is by laughing and joking, and that situation made me feel a little shit.

made me also feel real great when aprciot turned back at me and said i put you 5, its like he constantly tries to talk to me and be my friend and when i ignore him he gets mad, its not great that i was standing beside granite today and apricot started pushing granite and while he did that his hand touched my tit. great. made me feel just great, it wasnt on purpose he wouldnt even try.. well he did say consent didnt matter today if it was me. he was obvi joking but considering he tried to sa someone before and this day a year ago, "mango" his friend and apples friend sent diorite a voice message saying apricot said he was gonna do a thing to her. idk im sorry i feel uncomfortable typing out the word rape. but yeah thats what he said apparently. doesnt make it better he could walk to her house and he knows where that is. but unfortunately it is what it is no matter how cruel it can be.

anyways, after cspe i fucking raced through the classroom to get to another because it had a door to the outside which was closer to the door to the other outside door to get to or religion classroom, we had a proper sound sub, she was rly nice and i thought she was a bitch because of her hairstyle but she really wasnt, AND I GOT MY FAVOURITE SEAT!!!! mission acomplished, my friend was happy bc i always run to get good seats and i actually did unlike last time where some people were unfortunately quicker.

idk if i mentioned this but i learned about shifting maybe early 2021 and it didnt really go anywhere, id tell you where i have planned out for me to go but it would be embarassing, i have one for the embarassing one and one for a library, filled with extensive knowledge and characters from shows i watch. anyways my body felt like it was floating last night, just like my first shifting attempt nearly 2 years ago now, i nearly did it but i chickened out, opened my eyes and couldnt ever do it again or get those symptoms. when i woke up at 4 in the morning i was half stuck in a dream, and was trying to do my tasks to meet my goal, i dont even remember what my tasks or goal was.

i skimmed the entirety of sex education, it was my first time watching it, it was pretty good, i really liked ruby she was definitely my favourite i also really loved roman but cmon ruby, she was so good also aimee. i redownloaded farmville2 so its time to relive my farmer life whoop whoop. ill do another blog post later. anyways goodbye have a good morning, good day and good night

[sero-para-el-pueblo]

Okay so, Sero Latino headcanons and just headcanons in general bc I love him and I’m procrastinating studying for my finals. I have also been thinking about all the difficulties that being a foreigner has with language and culture and staff. Also, imma project a little bit so bear with me

When Sero and his parents moved to Japan, Sero didn’t know Japanese he knew only the basics and bc of these he probably was really good at subjects that don’t have letters on them

Like, Sero it’s really good at math because numbers are numbers and he just had to follow the teaches method,

when class 1-a find out hes good at math they're like how are you so good and he's jsut like "bueno plebes, when you move across the world you have to find ways to remember yourself you're not dumb just don't know the language"

he’s probably also really good at sports and English

Although being in an environment where Japanese was all he hear helped Sero picked Japanese fairly easy he still had a period of time where he was failing most of his classes bc his Japanese wasn't the best

Even after like 5 years of being in Japan there are expression he doesn’t quite get or like Japanese pop culture or classics he doesn’t know and he feels alienated for not knowing them and the bakusquad try to make him feel better by explaining stuff to him

Okay but like imagine Bakugo aggressively making Sero feel better

“Listen soy face you were raised in another fucking culture it’s not your fucking fault you don’t know this shit, who the fuck even cares”

Speaking of Bakugo it’s his birthday today so imagine Sero barging into boom boom boys room at 6 in the morning singing las mañanitas

also Sero's mom made a 3 leches cake for Bakugo and he loved it

In Spanish word have a lot of different meaning like so in my Mexican mind the equivalent of saying “bet�� when someone says something it’s “jaló” however it also means to pull

So imagine after Sero has taught some Spanish to class 1-a someone asks him to go somewhere and Sero it’s like jaló, and everyone it’s like the fuck?? So Sero has to explain Mexican slang to the class

A few hours later when Aizawa comes back he finds half of the class arguing about the correct way of using words like “pedo”, “madre”, “verga” and Midoriya it’s taking notes at light speed and the other half are trying to stop Bakugo from blowing Denki's face bc he keeps using the words wrong

Idk if it’s just my Mexican dad or all dad are like this but whenever something in the house needs fixing my dad would just make it worse or get mad at everybody bc he can’t fix it or take forever to even look at it

But imagine Sero's dad it’s like that so Sero's mom took it to herself to learn how to fix stuff around the house so Sero's got stuck helping his mom fix stuff so now he’s just really good at it

So now every time something needs fixing at the dorms Sero just fixes it

Imagine bakudeku knocking at Sero's door bc they were fighting and they accidentally broke the sink for the 4 time that month and they need to fix

“Sero we need help-” “safo Rey ” (I think this is the equivalent as touching your nose to signal your not gonna do it?? Idk) Sero ended up fixing it just before Aizawa was back

I just rewatch Coco so imagine class 1-a celebrating Día de Los Muertos (day of the dead) putting up the altar and all and Aizawa and All Might walk in when the class it's finishing up and Aizawa it's like 'Sero why are you putting flower petals in the floor?' and Sero it's like 'oh to guide the dead safely on their way back' "... okay that doesn't answer my question"

Aizawa and All Might end up watching Coco and at the end All Might ask the class if it's okay he wants to put a picture on the altar too

the next morning the altar has two new pictures, a lady with black hair and a smiley boy sitting on what seems a cloud, although the class wants to ask about the boy a look on Aizawa's face stops all questions.

I made myself cry with the last one my bad y'all

okay onto happier topics imagine that Spanish slang doesn't stop at the students but also reaches the teacher

imagine Present mic screaming "fierro" or "a huevo" it drives Aizawa crazy

Mexican people tend to be really religious and even tho Sero doesn't really believe in religion he does things like giving the bakusquad la bendicion every time any of them go out like it started after Kiri got hurt rescuing Eri so now Sero does it all the time

Bakugo acts as it bothers him but he would stay still in from of Sero and be like "what the fuck are waiting for do your stupid thing so I can go"

Sero also insist on giving la bendicion to Miroriya bc the lord knows the boy needs it, fuck it the rest of the class didn't want to be left out so they also demand to be given la bendicion

Also if you speak two languages you know you get a brand new personality when you swish language

Sero get more confident, cocky, and flirty when he speaks Spanish he would flirt with anyone specially Bakugou and Denki he would purposely role his “r” to mess with bakugou

[kawaiijellymonster]

Okay so I have a kind of crazy idea/thought. As you may know, I have a complicated relationship with religion. I was raised christian, I hate it, I also hate that it’s so incorporated in my brain. My thoughts on religion have often been summed up as “it’s pretty much russian roulette, you pick a religion and maybe its the right one and hooray you get the afterlife you want, but more likely you pick the wrong one and you’re fucked” which is incredibly stressful for me so I pretty much threw it all out.

However, recently I had a conversation with a friend about the definition of and uses of religion because I had a co-worker say “you have to have something to pray to or it’ll drive you mad” and I read a fic that will come into play later, and I read a story here on tumblr that made me think about it some more. 

Put very very simply, I want to create a religion and I need help because my adhd brain won’t let me focus. 

So the first thing when you start any endeavor is to define what you’re doing. In this scenario I am trying to define religion. Now, a while ago my friend used to ask the science teachers at school “why” questions until he pissed them off enough they passed him to the next teacher, and finally the new ap environmental teacher said “Science can only answer cosmic ‘how’ questions, Religion is for answering cosmic ‘why’ questions” basically saying “no I can’t tell you why gravity works (bc that's religion), but I can tell you how”. So if I’m creating a definition religion it needs to have the capability of answering all cosmic why questions. 

Therefore: “Religion is a humans attempt to understand and explain life, existence, and purpose as well as put that understanding to work in their everyday life” 

Now you might be saying “but Christi! what does that second part have to do with answering cosmic why questions!?” and this is where I say it doesn’t but it is part of the why of religion. “Why do people participate in religion?” aside from the aforementioned me and my friend came up with a couple reasons people do religion which are:

To cope with events/thoughts

As a framework or guide for how to live life

To take responsibility for actions and thoughts away from the self

As someone to talk to

Establishment of a routine

 The third one is actually the one that references to a fic, basically a character got overwhelmed because finals and too much coffee and hearing too much and migraines, and then their significant other came home and guided character A into a kneeling position on the floor while person B sat on the couch with his thighs on either side of person A. This allowed person A to have this “I’m safe and protected and I don’t need to be on edge, anything that happens is no longer up to me” kind of thought process that I think we tend to also apply to religion. That idea of “if god wants me to do well on this test then I will” or “these bad/good things happened because god wanted them to” you can easily come up with more examples. 

The first, and the last two are in reference to this tumblr post not to talk too long but basically a small god has a tiny shrine, he doesn’t have much power but a farmer prays to him every day, and bad things happen and the little god can’t do anything to prevent it, and the farmer still prays because this little god means something to him, its a routine, its someone to talk to, and as his fields burn down and his family dies he has a dedication that he can use to cope. It’s kind of tragically beautiful and I 100% recommend you read that story btw. 

Now for like frameworks of how to live life I don’t really have all that many that my god will have but here are the few I do have:

Try to improve, never settle for the way you are now and always try to be kinder

Don’t tolerate ignorance or scorn when it causes damage

Never put yourself in a situation that makes you viscerally uncomfortable

Doing your best is good enough

Say no to drugs and alcohol (this is just a personal preference) 

Remain humble in all that you do, never expect to be the best 

However if someone treats you as though you know nothing, prove them wrong

If it makes you happy it’s worth it

But basically, I need help coming up with more of the nuts and bolts of who this god will be, what their name will be, other frameworky “how to live life” kinds of things, maybe some lore too. I really want it to be the kind of god that has a shrine simply because of the aesthetic. 

As a PSA it will be a god that supports all variants of LGBTQ+ and nerf’s TERFS because we don’t support that in this good non christian sapphic household. 

So yeah if you wanna help and be in my lil cult I guess this is gonna be, DM me with your snapchat and I can create like a groupchat or something (no I don’t have discord, don’t attack me), or send an ask with thoughts/suggestions on the subject to either @kawaiijellymonster or @girlsareverypretty (they’re both me). 

[ambssssssssss]

Juliantina as teachers hcs

(bc it’s my first year teaching and i’m Going Through It so ofc i’m projecting)

Val teaches English, Juls teaches art

Val has been planning to be a teacher for a long time, majored in English and minored in education in college

Juls, on the other hand, very much stumbled into teaching

Juls has an art degree and does a little work as a freelance artist, started teaching as a sub and ended up falling in love with the job. 

It's Val's first year as a teacher, Juliana's second

They meet on the first day of teacher in-service, at the first staff meeting. 

Valentina shares half a doughnut with Juls while they wait for the meeting to start

After the meeting, Val heads to her classroom and realizes that she and Juliana are in the same hall but on opposite sides. 

"You're much nicer than the last teacher that was here," Juliana says on the second day of in-service, perched on one of the desks in Val's room. "Prettier too." 

Valentina is so glad she isn't looking directly at Juliana bc could her face be any warmer right now geez Val get a grip

By the end of the week, Val has decided that Juls is her best friend (she likes the other people she works with-but Juls is different) 

There's a huge faculty dinner that weekend where Val meets some of the other teachers. 

It's also when the not-serious-but-obviously-series rivalry between Juliana and Lucho begins. 

(Lucho coaches football/soccer-most of the kids think he's an ass) 

Anyway, by the time the school year actually begins, Val and Juls are the best of friends and both are oblivious to the heart eyes they have around one another

The other teachers, however, are not oblivious

Neither are the students

It starts on Monday of the second week of school

A student asks Val why Ms. Valdes is always in Val's room before the first bell. Val says that Juls brings her breakfast in the morning and they sometimes make plans for lunch 

A few of the more shippers/fandom kids raise their eyebrows but the students accept the answer

They start watching more closely 

(more under the cut bc this got out of hand)

It starts with just first and last period, the time of day when Val and Juls would most likely be able to visit one another in their rooms

It's like a schedule, the students figure out. 

Monday and Wednesday, they meet in Val's room after the last bell. Tuesday and Thursday, they meet in Juls' room

They don't meet on Friday's, at first, bc of pep rallies, which they always leave together 

By homecoming the rumor mill is flying

The other teachers hear and gossip amongst themselves, only occasionally missing a student eavesdropping on them

Almost everyone-meaning everyone but Lucho lol-are positive there is something going on between them, especially after homecoming

Bc Val and Juls had coordinated their outfits for everyday of Homecoming

Monday: pj day - they wore the same outfit but in different colors, red for Juls and blue for Val

Tuesday: decades day - they both go as hippies, one student is positive they switch glasses halfway through the day

Wednesday: meme day - a coincidence that they both wear t-shirts with horrible, yet matching, puns? I think not

Thursday: character day - thing 1 and thing 2, it literally could not be more obvious

Friday: spirit day - okay, doesn't count bc literally everyone is wearing school colors but the students are positive that Val doesn't own the white converse she wears (that have Juliana's signature on the heel) 

They sit together at the homecoming game, with the rest of the teachers sure but still noticeably there with each other

A band kid catches them taking a selfie together and did Ms. C just kiss Ms. V on the cheek?!?! 

Text to the almost school wide group snap chat that just says "please tell me someone caught that on camera" 

Several people did, from several angles, including a yearbook kid who happened to be photographing the stands at that exact moment 

(The extra, very zoomed in pic wasn't necessary but the sponsor won't complain-she ships it too) 

Everyone is shocked when a very brave student asks both Juls and Val, during class no less, if they are dating anyone and they both say no

All the students are like “excuse me? Ur gf is literally down the hall” 

Mission ‘Make Juliantina Canon’ begins

(there’s almost a hashtag for it, but the students thankfully decide that’s a little too much - they’ll settle for what is basically light stalking instead) 

Word is spread to the teachers, accidentally-on-purpose, and pretty soon the whole school is in on it

Val’s mentor teacher casually reminds her that there’s no rules against co-workers dating

On school trips (Val somehow ends up coaching basketball and Juliana is co-sponsor of the yearbook so they travel together a lot during the winter), it works out so they always are sitting either in the same seat or right next to each other

Lots of discussion on the development of Juliantina during these trips on the student’s part, lots of teachers trying to discreetly tell the kids to shut the fuck up, they’re literally a seat in front of you 

Val and Juls being oblivious to the rumor mill going wild around them and continuing to be friends

Just friends though, not more than that, even though they both very much want to be more than that

So. Much. Pinning. 

As they get closer, Valentina gets much more expressive with her affection

Physical touch is her love language, I will die on this hill 

If she and Juls are alone, they’re always holding hands or hugging or cuddled up together on the couch for their now weekly movie nights

They’re spotted more than once strolling down the street hand-in-hand

Even Lucho starts to see it and well, it’s kind of hard to miss now that Valentina has turned down his invitation to a date for the fifth time so she can watch Grey’s Anatomy with Juliana

By Thanksgiving, the whole school is going mad bc will they please just date already 

The rumor mill goes wild when they find out that Valentina had hosted a friend’s giving over Thanksgiving break (this au takes place in an imaginary Texas where homophobia isn’t a thing, deal with it) and Juliana was already there when the first guest arrived early in the morning to help Val cook. 

Juliana had come into the kitchen wearing pajamas that were just a little too loose on her and fixed herself a cup of coffee like she did it every morning, even kissing Valentina’s cheek as she stepped up to the stove to make herself breakfast

Please, they’re basically married

Juliana has spent a lot of time at Valentina’s place, it’s bigger and homey-er than her own, plus Valentina has a big TV and a very comfortable bed

Juliana basically lives there

Valentina doesn’t complain, even when it gets to the point that she has to bring Juliana’s blouse to work bc the one Juls wanted to wear, she had left at Valentina’s 

(thankfully, the students don’t catch wind of that trade, can you imagine) 

They spend Christmas together too

Valentina can’t really travel bc there’s still basketball practice and games over the winter break, Juliana simply can’t afford to travel to Mexico to visit her mother

So they spend Christmas together and one day while Juls is watching a basketball game and paying more attention to Valentina than to the actual game, she begins to wonder what exactly they are doing? 

Like, Juliana has other teacher friends, but she doesn’t hug them, or kiss them on the cheek, or bring them breakfast every morning, or get sad when she doesn’t see them at work, or want to cuddle up on the couch with them after a long day at work and - 

Oh shit I’m in love with her

One teacher owes another 20 bucks for betting that Juls would figure it out first (in my mind this is Kara Danvers and Barry Allen but that’s neither here nor there) 

Juliana acts a little funny the next few days, avoids going out on New Year’s by claiming she has a headache when she’s really trying to figure out what to do now

Valentina shows up at her door the Sunday before winter break ends and demands to know why Juliana is avoiding her

Whatever she’s done wrong, she’ll fix it but please just talk to me 

Juliana breaks and kisses her

Valentina kisses her back

“There’s nothing wrong, I’m in love with you.” 

“Thank god. I’m in love with you.” Valentina kisses Juliana again. “Also, are you aware that literally the whole school ships us?”

[dawniebb]

Face reveal bc yes

So, guys...especially from the Renegades fandom bc i’m the most active there: you saw the title lmao. This will...barely get notes (i wonder if it’ll get notes at all) buuUUUT YEAH LET’S GOOOO (If you’re gonna reblog pls be respectful bc i have issues and btw reblog ONLY if we are mutuals)

THIS IS ME! <3 HELLOOOO!!!

Now, if you want to stop here, do it. If you don’t...well

I’m going to tell you a story about myself and why I decided to post this.

First of all, I’m not celebrating anything. I’m just celebrating me, I guess (?) and in fact I’ve been wanting to do this since my parents got me a She-Ra cake for my 20th birthday back in May, because I loved that thing and felt the physical need to shove that thing into everyone’s faces But I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready enough...then that thought left my mind, and it came back like two weeks ago.

I’ve had mental issues since I was in like...elementary school. I’m sure I had felt depressed before I turned 12; however, the first memory I hold of feeling so, it’s when I was already 12. Because it was then when I realized that I wasn’t just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to make friends xd To this day, I genuinely feel like I was suffering from isolation bullying; you know xd my classmates purposely excluded me from activities, they would find any excuse for not letting me join their work teams and stuff like that; during my last year at elementary school, I only had like one friend, and that one friend and I shared a sort of abusive/toxic relationship, as in: manipulation, “we’re best friends. you should only talk to ME”, and then this friend turned her back at me too, because she decided to join the rest of the group and ignore me.

lol.

And I remember wondering what was I doing wrong. Like, why didn’t people like me; why didn’t they want to hang out with me; why did everyone seem to have friends except me. And then I got trapped into a very...dark place, and I remember being overthinking one day, because I tend to overthink a lot...and I remembered this specific kid who was in the same class as me.

I was in the line for the teacher to check my homework, and this kid, a boy, was behind me.

You see. I’ve always been chubby xd I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny since I was 2 years old or so, because by the time I was in kindergarten my classmates’ moms were already calling me a ‘little meatball’ thinking it was a fucking adorable nickname because Mexican moms can be pretty shitty sometimes don’t let the media stereotypes fool you not all of them are all cheerful and upbeat and when I was in elementary school, for some reason, besides being chubby, I had a really bad posture. And this boy who was behind me started imitating my way of walking and his friends were laughing, so I turned around and asked him wtf his problem was xd and he turned around to his friends and asked “Do you see how hunchback she is?” like I wasn’t even there xd and I genuinely tried to slap him but I couldn’t, and he said “Yo, stop moving because you’re going to cause an earthquake”

And my mom has always felt personally attacked for the fact I’m...u know, fat. She has always been very insistent on the fact I need to lose weight and stuff like that. And her, mixed with my experiences at school, made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

But my mind started saying things like “And u know why you aren’t enough? Because you’re fat”

Because, like, the day of the hunchback insult, when I told the teacher, who was a very shitty teacher btw but i’m not talking about her again today (i’ve already talked about her in MANY of my university papers, because I’m studying to be an English teacher), she turned around at him and said “Don’t listen to HER” and to this day I still don’t know why xd

But it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Because I was fat.

Lol x2.

To this day, I still don’t know if I have an ED. Like, I genuinely don’t know. But I can safely say that, if I have one, it’s more likely BED... because, through the years, I managed to lose weight when I turned like 15 and I had my quinceañera party, but then first year of high school came and I had a relapse into depression...like, this might come off as a very unpopular opinion, but junior high school was dope for me x’d I remember it as one of the best years in my life, right after my second and third year in high school (high school in Mexico lasts only three years) and so...when I started my first year in high school and got fucking depressed again, I gained ALL that weight back, and even doubled it. During my second year of high school, I met my friends. The friends I still keep with me to this day. And they accepted me like the fucking train wreck I was, failing math like three times in a row and crying about it every single one of those times  because I’m pretty sure I have dyscalculia but my parents won’t listen to me they think i’m just lazy when it comes to math even though they know i cant even read a fucking clock . And them, along with my another very close friend who I met via fanfction when I was 12, helped me go through it. Like, I did have some issues with my body during high school, but not as much as you would expect. They were getting pretty bad in my first and second semester, but during the other four my friends managed to stop me from losing my mind, even when it all went to shit in my third year again for different reasons.

Then I graduated from high school, and I made friends there too. Although my best friends are still my friend from fanfiction, my friends from high school and just one of my university friends. And you know...I was left...pretty scarred from the shit that happened during third year of high school, and even if I didn’t feel like I was *that* depressed, I did gain a lot of weight.

Like, the highest I’ve ever been. Then my dad got sick during October from last year, then my two doggies were murdered god i fucking hate my neighbors the same day my dad was released from the hospital and my mom went kinda nuts during December and I wanted to just...yeah.

So I did a lot of emotional eating. Like, y’all don’t understand.

It was like...I would go to uni and eat a brownie. Then chocolates on my way home. THEN a “a snack” like...fucking rice krispies. Then a huge ass meal, with soda bc why not. Then I would have either cookies or hot cheetos as a treat after my huge ass meal,

I’m a short person xd carrying that much weight was making my ribs and back hurt, as well as my legs and feet; my breathing was freaking awful, and there were some days were I got SO paranoid I just said things like “i’m gonna die today” or “out here trying to get diabetes like the rest of your family, aren’t you??” :’) but i didn’t tell anybody. My parents are not really an option in this case, BUT I didn’t tell my friends, because then I would have to explain that I ate a lot and that was something I was EXTREMELY ashamed of.

When February came, I was scared of going out, because I knew I would have to choose what clothes to wear and nothing fit me anymore and, the things that did, looked super stretched on me and, u know, I was sore. My health was getting bad. But I didn’t like to feel that way.

AND I MUST CLARIFY HERE. I’M WORKING ON THAT. I’M ACTUALLY A BODY POSITIVY DEFENDER, I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HOW *I* LOOKED AND, BESIDES, I WAS GETTING SICK. I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT. I’M NOT SAYING BEING FAT OR CHUBBY IS DISGUSTING. NO. I BELIEVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. AND IF I’M WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW RECOVERY IS DISGUSTING AND DIFFICULT SOMETIMES AND THAT IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT: I’M SORRY. NOBODY SHOULD EVER FEEL LIKE THAT. I SUPPORT YOU. AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE TO CHANGE ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY. KEEP HOLDING ON.

But going back to the story...

My friends used to tell me I looked pretty all the time, which I appreciate a lot to this day. But my parents were like

Me: I’m fat and I look deformed.

Them: I agree.

Because yeah.

Just before the pandemic madness happened, I went on a school trip with my uni friends and one of them triggered my isolation trauma in the worst way possible...and that, somehow, ruined ALL the photos I took throughout the trip. Because I wasn’t enough. Because I was deformed and fat and I looked like an apple. Because nobody wanted to be seen near me. And my personality was shitty.

Like, I should’ve known I was worth it. I’m still worth it and I know that. But I wasn’t less worth it when I was chubbier. And maybe I didn’t look as bad as my head made me believe. But at the time my mental health was extremely awful.

Now, covid happened.

Not gonna lie. Quarantine fucked me up as much as it fucked everyone else, but for me...by not going out, I stopped being near trigger foods, and I was even able to consult a dietitian.

I’ve lost 15 kg since March. And I’ve managed to love my past self, but I love this one because changing it was my decision. Sure, my parents didn’t help a lot, but in the end it was MY decision. I’ve come to accept I was worth it even when I felt disgusted by myself, and all of those awful things people said or did to me, like my friend during that trip...

I didn’t deserve any of those things. Because NO ONE deserves to be treated that way.  No one deserves somebody else making fun of them. No one deserves somebody else doing awful things to them that they know damn well that they trigger their childhood trauma. No one deserves to be judged for the way they look.

I was in a very dark place, and sometimes I’m still inside there. And like...during all those times, I kept posting in here.

I remember being next to my dad in the hospital, telling him “Guess what? Supernova drops this week” or “We’re going to watch TDP together, right?” or “Let me talk to you about She-Ra...” ....those were things that like...saved my life for a while, though mostly Supernova. Because, actually, Marissa Meyer has helped me in my fucking darkest years x’d from my third year of high school until now.

Her books didn’t take my depression away, but they did make things a little lighter for me, even when I felt like dying.

And I know this fandom is like..full of minors, so...I don’t know if any of you need to hear this: But you’re worth it.

If you want to change anything in your body, do it because YOU want to.

Because YOU’LL like you better.

Because it’s YOUR body, and it’s the only part of yourself that you and other people can touch.

Nobody should ever tell you you’re worthless because of your weight and your physical appearance. And if they ever do, then they’re the ones who should apologize, not you.

Nobody has the right to mistreat you, abuse you, or use your own body against you.

As for me...my ribs don’t hurt anymore. Nor does my back or my feet, and my breathing is getting better; I took the conscious decision to lose weight but, like I said, now that I’m not in such a dark place, I’m staring to realize that the past me wasn’t as hideous as my mind was making me believe. She was okay; she was broken inside, but she didn’t deserve anything that happened to her, nor did she deserved to treat herself that badly.

I posted my photo just to celebrate that I can finally said I’m not disgusted anymore. I can finally see myself in pictures again. And see my own reflection. Or go through my closet. Or do my makeup, because I LOVE doing my makeup and I was even ashamed of that. I’m not fully okay yet, but I’m healing.

So, if there’s any little Dawnie around here: I hope you give yourself a chance and realize you’re beautiful.

I hope that, if you change, it’s because you wanted to do it.

I hope you know that it’ll get better even if the healing process it’s not that easy.

I hope you know there’s people who love you.

I hope you know that you are beautiful. You were always beautiful and, no matter what path you choose, you’ll always be beautiful.

And worth it.

And human.

And important.

Take care of yourself, because you’re wonderful, no matter your size <3

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXIV)

It was a love story, from the very beginning.

Heartbroken

(6x20/6x21/6x22)

Hello my dears! How are you? This is another Chronicle and the last one for season 6!!

This is gonna be a hard meta... *Sobbing* we're here together so...

Thanks to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta and discussed a while crying profusely, with me.

Ok, let's start with this!

When Cas broke Dean's heart

Still in episode 6x20...

When Cas saves the guys from demons, Dean is happy to see him, and everyone in the room felt sorry for doubt about him, but...

Remember all that blind trust Dean had in Castiel, even with the proof on the table? Well... Cas said something that broke Dean's heart and trust. He mentioned the whole Superman going to the dark side thing. A talk Bobby, Dean and Sam had gotten alone, well, they thought they were alone.

And Dean's face is... Gah... He realizes Cas is spying on them, and lying, and cheating... And... His heart breaks and is all over his face.

Even his smile is sad, very sad... Mixed with anger.

And then we are dragged again to Cas's memories...

You know when you watch your crush with longing eyes... Yes... Cas contemplating Dean, is a very romantic scene, he didn't want to perturbed him, and in his own words...

CASTIEL So I went to an old friend for help. But watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.

Is curious how an ancient creature as Cas thinks his friendship with Dean is old. Dean is an old friend of Castiel.

And also... He saw Dean was having a good life, well, that's what he thought, and because he loves him, he didn't want to break that life. He, as Bobby and Sam, thought Dean wanted that life, they assumed Dean was happy having that life. And they were wrong.

In this point, Crowley appears... He's the temptation here, and Cas fell for it. The devil tempting a desperate angel that needs more power to stop the new Apocalypse and save the world and his friends. His old friend, mostly, Dean Winchester.

So, he did it for him? Sure. He'll say that later...

Falling in Temptation

Is very interesting to analyze the sequence of how Crowley tempts Castiel... Is the same mechanism the devil uses with his victims...

First of all... The adulation...

CASTIEL: I'm not strong enough, and you know it.

CROWLEY: Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. "God's favorite." Buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal.

CASTIEL: Thank you. Get to the point.

Watch here how Crowley praises him, you're the God's fav, angels follow you, you have sex appeal... I mean... Is obvious he's trying to seduce Castiel to make him accept a deal with Hell... Is the same method the devil uses for tempting humanity.

The second part of this is the offer... Generally, the offer is POWER, so here... Is the same.

CASTIEL: This is ridiculous. I mean, the amount of power that it would take to mount a war...

CROWLEY: More than either of us have ever seen, yeah. But what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?

CASTIEL What do you mean?

CROWLEY: Purgatory, my fine feathered friend. Purgatory. Just think about it. An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. I mean, what's that over the years? 30 million? 40 million? Just sitting there, plump and rich for the taking.

Here is when Crowley put the coin, he does adulated Cas and now he offered him a way to win the war... Becoming nuclear, the immense power of souls... So Cas takes it.

But there's something interesting too when Crowley designed the plan, he infered he needed Sam and Dean to get the monsters, and Cas was determinant here ...

CASTIEL No. Not Dean. He's retired, and he's to stay that way.

He's protecting Dean's apple pie life, he thought this was a way to protect him. He wouldn't let Crowley to hurt Dean or to get him into that war.

The Betrayal

Well, we need enter now in the worst par of all... Let me cry under that tree for a moment... I'll be right back...

Ok... Let's start this...

Dean prays to Castiel and he appears, they lock Cas in an angel trap, and Bobby and Sam began to confront him.

And because he's desperately looking to one side and another but avoiding Dean's gaze... This is what happens... (Damn...)

You know how sacred are our Destiel's stares... They talk with their eyes. Is the way they share their emotions... So Dean needed that, Castiel look at me in the eye!

It hurts a lot, because Dean's facial expression when Cas averted his eyes to the ground, because it was truth. Dean is heartbroken.

Dean named the things Bobby and Sam had been trying to make him see. And he can't believe it. He can't believe HIS CAS, the one he was defending with his whole body and soul against the suspicious, had betrayed him... And everything was truth.

I need some ice cream and cry a lot...

After this the confrontation goes on, and Sam is thinking Cas saved him from Hell without soul on purpose? That's the extreme of Castiel becoming evil, but Sam is thinking that because he never trusted blindly in Castiel, because he was Dean's best friend, not his... (But this will change in the next season. Their relationship will have an important turn.)

The next time Dean talks is here...

CASTIEL Listen. Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.

DEAN: No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.

(This is the next thing Dean said to Cas, he had a choice, ask him for help, he's showing him the path he should choose. He's teaching him, as always.)

CASTIEL: You don't understand. It's complicated.

DEAN: No, actually, it's not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it... Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!

Here, Dean gets mad because he more listen Castiel's excuses, he more understands Castiel's is covering his lies with more lies.

CASTIEL: It sounds so simple when you say it like that. 

This is so, so romantic people, the longing stares, the sadness in their eyes. Is like loosing a precious thing you found, a precious, beautiful and warm thing, that vanishes. It was Dean's hopes and faith. Cas was his savior, his best friend, his angel.

Give me just a minute, I need to roll on the floor and cry a little more ...

And then... The danger is near again, and Cas is trapped but he's worried about them, and he asks them to leave, to run... And that last looks between them... People who says this isn't a romantic scene... Fight me, because that's Dean saying... "Why you did this to me?, I love you," and Cas is saying "I love you too, but I had to do it. The mission comes first."

They talk with their eyes people...

Destiel breakup

Ok... Idk if Bobby draw the no angel sigil wrong, I like to think it was Dean. Because is weird Bobby not doing things like that well... And Dean wanted to talk with CAS again... It's obvious because he will try twice to convince him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you.

Well we have the confirmation here, is for him, for Dean, to protect him.

DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will --

DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Dean knows Cas tries to do things right, he was his free will teacher, that's why now, he'll try to convince Cas.

Now... First try...

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it.

CASTIEL I don't understand.

Dean is asking desperately, because he sees Castiel has his mission in first place, and it doesn't let him see things as Dean want him to see it. So he says I SAY YOU DON'T, SO YOU DON'T, THAT'S IT. Like a father to a child.

Second intent...

DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man.

Again, he uses the same technic, but Cas just gets it as an attempt of defiance... Bc he's at war.

CASTIEL Or what?

Here's a different way to impose his power over Dean with that time Soulless!Sam tried to defy him. He went straight to confront him physically, invading his personal space, showing him not fear, "Would you, boy? How?"

This time... Is Dean... So... The way he says these words, with sorrow in his face. That's the difference between you and me, Dean... I'm an angel, you're just a man. We're from two different worlds... I'm stronger than you. So don't say you would stop me as if I was a monster.

DEAN I don't know. I've taken some pretty big fish.

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN Well, I'm sorry, too, then.

Mission comes first. Cas is a soldier.

This was their break up.

Loosing people, loosing you

If you were sobbing with 6x20, now 6x21 is... A sea of tear... "Let it Bleed".

At the beginning of the episode they're talking about Cas, Dean's face is a mix of sadness and longing, he's asking a question he maybe already knew, why did Cas come last night? If he didn't want to fix things?

Dean wanted to fix things with CAS, so when he saw him he tried fiercely to convince him, but he couldn't, then Bobby reveals Cas stole some book.

More dagas in Dean's heart. So he didn't come to see me, but to steel some book?

Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, and Dean got crazy... Sam wanted to help him but he didn't know how... Balthazar didn't want to help, so he proposed something...

SAM: Look, Dean. Let's just call Cas. Maybe he doesn't know anything about this.

DEAN: We are not calling Cas.

SAM: Yeah, but Dean.

DEAN: We're not calling Cas!

Definitely not calling Cas, Dean is tremendously mad at him.

He will try to get some info from demons, and one will attack him... Cas will save him, and again... The struggling with the feelings...

This time is Cas trying to convince Dean he had not choice and he has to do it.

And the following lines...

Gah!!! That had to hurt... Damn, Cas you don't have to say Dean things he already knew... You was his ally, his best friend. He trusted you with his life. But Castiel's face is like someone who's pleading... Please Dean understand, forgive me, I love you. I'm doing this for you.

Can I die now?

And Dean's face is... Ugh! Suffering, suffering... I love you man, but you just screwed things up, badly, I can't forgive you.

And then...

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

DEAN: You're asking me to stand down?

CASTIEL: Dean.

DEAN: That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself. In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.

Now he's mad, very mad... He walks away and gives Castiel his back, clenching his fist with anger.

He's trying to control himself, he can't believe CAS is talking like Crowley, is the worst, where's his Castiel???

The face he made after Cas is gone is priceless, is a mix between pain, anger and sadness... Gah.

Ok, hospital... Lisa is in bad shape... And Castiel appears...

DEAN: What do you want?

He's so, so mad at Cas.

CASTIEL: Dean, listen.

DEAN: What do you want me to say? She'll be dead by midnight.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry.

DEAN: I don't care. It's too little, too late.

CASTIEL: Okay. Well, regardless, I didn't come for you.

DEAN: Meaning?

CASTIEL: (he walks up to Lisa and places his hand on her forehead, healing her) She's fine now. She'll wake soon. Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it.

Ok... This was sad and it'll be the last time they will talk about it before Cas become Godstiel.

Dean is heartbroken, he lost Lisa, Ben and now Cas... Because he can't elaborate in his head Cas isn't his friend anymore. So heartbroken, his face is priceless here. His eyes with unshed tears. Because of CAS. He will ask him to erase Ben and Lisa memories, but Castiel's Betrayal, as he will say in 7x17, he couldn't swallow it... So yes, this face is mostly for Castiel. Bc he lost him.

Godstiel, and the last intent to get Cas back

In episode 6x22, the last of the season, Cas did two things, in my opinion, were out of character.

1) He broke Sam's mental war (when in Season 5 he will kill anyone who tries to hurt him) he never NEVER would do something to hurt Sam.

2) He killed Balthazar, another friend, bc he felt he'd betrayed him.

Ok... This maybe was used by the showrunner to present us the wrong path Cas was following to his mere death.

Don't worry, she'll be asked to fix this by writing Castiel's return to the show in 7x17 (oops).

After doing these two things, he become Godstiel, he wasn't Cas, he was a new entity.

The way he was talking to Dean showed us that. He was like a heartless powerful creature.

Even so, Dean will try to get to him...

We can see in the hunter's face fears and concern about his friend...

DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you... Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

So desperate, he knew it was a huge danger Cas was like a nuclear bomb, but there's love in his words. He's trying his best to get his angel back. It was in vain, as we know...

To Conclude

Dean and Cas break up showed us the profound love they feel for each other, 6x20 and 6x21 were purely romantic, and you can feel the pain and the longing all over it.

It was clear that loosing Cas wasn't loosing just a friend, it hurted badly to Dean because, as I said in the last volume, Cas was more than family to him.

The performance from the actor was deliberately played as a romantic scene. Jensen and Misha knew what they were doing there. It was two people in love breaking up.

Ok, we finished this season people, sorry for the long post! But next one we will get into season 7, I assume it'll be less volumes.

I hope you like this, see you in the next chronicle.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous volumes...

Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII

Buenos Aires, Augusto 14th 2019 8:07 PM

[whatjeon]

high school student!jungkook

genre(s): headcanons/bullet points, high school!au, (low-key) fuckboy!au, (a smidge of) badboy!au, friends to lovers, slow burn (??), a lil bit of angst, kinda crack-y, basically an emotional rollercoaster

warning(s): strong language

A/N: hello friends i am back not with an imagine but a bunch of bullet points i’ll try and pass off as mini-paragraphs!! anyway, i’ve been thinking about this a lot so i figured that i might as well publish something if i want to keep calling myself a “writer”... enjoy!! p.s. sorry not sorry for all the cliches and shitty humour LOL

high school student!jungkook au 

jungkook’s the new kid at your high school and moved into your neighbourhood during the summer of your sophomore year

lives in the big-ass house with a pool and indoor theatre bc his dad’s some music producer or something

honestly you had no idea he had moved in until the first day of school and even then, you had no clue what the fuss was about (but that was partially due to the fact that you hadn’t seen him yet lol)

he’s hot af and he knows it too which makes him hella cocky

he strolls into every single class with one hand in his jean pocket and the other either: a) running through his perfectly-gelled black hair or b) loosely holding onto his backpack strap

you’re sitting in AP psych with your five thousand pencils and highlighters out on your desk ready to clutch that A for the semester when he saunters in whistling

as soon as you see him walk in you know that he’s a fuckboy™

timberlands? check

light-washed jeans? check

plain white tee? checkcheckcheck

when he catches you looking at him (not that he could blame you like tbh everyone was checking him out) he winks at you and flashes you a smirk before sitting a couple seats behind you

by the end of the day you learn that you have AP psych and AP econ with jungkook

he’s quiet in class but you know he’s smart because the first thing your AP econ teacher has you guys do is participate in a game of kahoot as a diagnostic test. you sit behind jungkook so you’re able to see his laptop screen as he clicks on the right answers. he actually places first in the entire class and surprise surprise !! you end up placing second thanks to jeon jungkook the econ god

the next day at school you’re at your locker taking out your textbook for your math course when jungkook stops by and leans against the one next to yours and goes like “i believe you owe me a thank you, hmm?”

and you’re like “for what?” bc you genuinely forgot all about the kahoot test

jungkook laughs, tilts his head to the side, and as he’s glancing at your eyes he says “econ?”

in that moment you realise jungkook is not only attractive but also really really observant

“oh,” you say, shrugging and closing your locker. “thanks, i guess. see you around... jungkook, right?”

his finely-chiselled jaw drops and he’s like who does this girl think she is omf i’m literally the talk of the school AND WE HAVE TWO CLASSES TOGETHER

all he can do is smile (not as smugly, though, since you just ended the conversation) and push himself off of the locker he was leaning against

as he turns to go to his next class he can’t help but wonder who you really are because he’s a masochist you don’t take shit and you’re... kinda cute actually

the next day in psych jungkook’s hardcore flirting with you because he is determined to prove that there’s no way any girl on earth can resist jeon jungkook 

from behind you hear a pencil tip snapping followed by jungkook’s smooth voice cursing “oh my god i don’t have a spare” and being a nice person you turn around and hand him one of yours

as he takes the pencil his fingers brush against yours (ON PURPOSE!!!) and he winks at you before saying “life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless”

you send him an unamused smile and retort “your efforts are like a broken pencil. nice try, jeon”

the nickname sticks and you proceed to call him jeon for the next four months of school

jungkook likes how you’re not madly in love with him like the majority of the school so he makes even more of an effort to talk to you and get to know you during your classes and you become pretty good friends (??) if you can call it that

it’s really more like close acquaintances who can flirt joke around with each other

sometime in october jungkook asks you why you keep calling him jeon instead of jungkook and you tell him that he’s not worth two syllables (but in reality it’s because you think his last name sounds really cool... also the corner of his mouth always twitches upwards when you do but you aren’t ever mentioning that to him) and all he does is laugh because it’s refreshing to have a girl roast him instead of fawn over him, especially since he accidentally flashed his abs at basketball try-outs whoops

time skip ! it’s november and exams are coming up in a week so you’re studying for hours on end almost every day, sleeping late and waking early until one day you sleep through your alarm

you’re rushing out the front door and getting on your bike when you hear a “y/n!” behind you

surprise!!! it’s jungkook on his motorcycle (ofc he has a motorcycle lmao)

he’s like “wow, little miss honour student late for school?” and you leave your bike on your front porch before putting on the helmet and retorting with “can you just stick with an aesthetic?? you’re clearly a fuckboy–– only bad boys own motorcycles”

jungkook bites his lip to hide his grin but the urge to smile is so strong that he has to look down at his vans so that you can’t see just how happy you make him

you’re five minutes away from school when you realise that he isn’t wearing a helmet because he gave you his and your arms instinctively tighten around his waist

jungkook almost chokes, which is unlike him because he’s jeon jungkook, one of the most attractive boys at your school and #1 fuckboy, and he’ll be damned if he starts falling for some random girl just because she’s arguably one of the hardest-working people in the grade and her eyes remind him of stars and when she laughs it’s like honey drizzling on top of pancakes on a sunday mor–– and that’s when jeon jungkook realises he likes you

WHICH IS WHY as soon as you guys get to school he walks away and flirts with the first girl he sees

you’re like “ok???” but hella confused and low-key jealous mad

littLE DO YOU KNOW that as soon as you’re out of sight jungkook’s face goes from ;) to :( because he doesn’t want to flirt with anyone else except you

school ends and you walk through the parking lot to get to the main road when jungkook spots you and rides his motorcycle over, tossing his helmet at you

“get on, y/n. we’re going home”

and you ask him why bc you’re still kinda pissed about what happened that morning and he says “it’s what friends do” even though calling whatever it is that you have “friendship” feels wrong and just a little bit painful

from that day on jungkook drives you to school and back every day on his motorcycle (after he promises you that he’ll get a second helmet), even on days where his first class is a free period and he technically could wake up an hour later than usual because homeboy is hopelessly in love with you

it’s spring AKA track season !! jeon jungkook, the golden (ex)fuckboy (you can’t be a fuckboy if you only flirt with one girl sorry jeon) of your high school, makes the ~varsity~ team

which means he can’t drive you home after school because you don’t do a spring sport :( but you’re cool with it

this is also the time when you become really close with another notorious fuckboy who lives in your neighbourhood, kim taehyung, except there’s no sexual tension between you two because taehyung is a good bro™ who just likes to get it on sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

one day jungkook sees you and taehyung walking home together when practice is canceled and he is JEALOUS AF

he knows he’s being irrational but going home together is you and jungkook’s thing !!! not you and taehyung’s thing !!!!!

so the next day he goes to “talk” to taehyung bc he doesn’t want you to know he’s jealous and basically tells taehyung to “get the fuck away from y/n or else” and taehyung smirks and refuses bc he’s a little shit

aaaaand you’re just chilling during your free period when a friend tells you that your mans jungkook and taehyung are fighting in the quad

the fight gets broken up as soon as you enter because 1) jungkook doesn’t want you to see him all violent and 2) taehyung actually really likes being your friend and doesn’t want to mess things up that badly

but the damage is done and people are already talking about how y/n, a notorious goody two-shoes, is dating jungkook and taehyung at the same time and they both found out, leading to their fight at the quad

you ignore jungkook and taehyung for the rest of the day for damage control but it’s useless and your “perfect” image has been tarnished

you head over to jungkook’s house after he’s done with track practice and chew. him. out. 

which then turns into a full-blown argument

“everyone thinks that i’m a fucking whore now thanks to you and your goddamn temper, jungkook. honestly, can you grow the fuck up?”

“well you didn’t have to go around doing who knows what with taehyung, y/n”

“as if you’re any better”

you guys are screaming at each other and the argument ends when jungkook finally loses his composure and yells “then why don’t you just fucking leave and never come back, y/n?”

so you angrily storm off, tears welling up in your eyes

the next morning you wake up feeling awful and you have half the mind to skip school for the day, but then you remember that you’re a high school student taking multiple APs so skipping class is waaay out of the question

you’re about to head out the door when you remember that jungkook isn’t there to drive you to class anymore :( so you have to go from the back door to the bike shed and take your old bike out

when you emerge from the backyard you see a figure dressed in a black hoodie and grey sweats (classic fuckboy™ clothing), leaning against his black motorcycle with his hands in his pockets, staring intently at the ground

you’re in front of him when he finally looks up

his brown eyes widen and he clears his throat nervously but you speak first because you got 0 sleep last night and seeing him look so soft and just him being there in front of your house even after a huge fight makes your heart swell

“i didn’t mean what i said yesterday. well, i did mean some parts but i never meant to use my words to hurt you. i was mad and being irrational. i’m sorry. you mean so much to me and i just–– i’m pretty sure i’m like, in love with you and oh my god did i just say that? i mean––”

and jungkook’s speechless but also relieved because then that means he doesn’t have to do the confessing first

what he does do first is kiss you in the middle of your rambling because 1) he loves you too and 2) he doesn’t want you to embarrass yourself any further lol

when the two of you finally part he just smiles really softly at you and pull you in for a tight hug

“i love you too, y/n. i’m still a little mad, though”

and you’re like oh boy, here we go but then jungkook smirks, tightens his hold on you, and says “i can’t believe taehyung is the reason why we finally confessed to each other”

when you and jungkook walk into school together with your hands tightly clasped together everyone is like POWER COUPLE ALERT because the ex-fuckboy and goody-two-shoes are actually dating ?!!

bonus: you guys are voted prom king and queen wow stan legends stan jungkook and y/n

extra bonus: taehyung is your ship’s #1 fan and president of the unofficial jungkook+y/n fanclub

[butterflywitchart]

I WILL NEVER FORGET no matter how hard you try to hide it I remember the truth. 

Survivors of child abuse (or sexual abuse) never truly forget, altho they may pretend to, or their conscious mind might shove the truth deep into their subconscious, so they can live their life without hating the people who hurt them. For me, and for many Survivors, the people who hurt me were my parents. They beat me with belts and wooden spoons and their hands. They slapped me in the face, punched me in the stomach, threw me on the ground and beat me in a rage, whipped me on the shins with a belt, whipped me in the stomach, on my back, washed my mouth out with soap (which really sucks when your mother is forcibly doing this to you), broke wooden spoons on my body, and worse of all, treat it all like a big joke. My parents hated that i was feminine, so they tried to tease and beat that out of me - i cried easily, and at a certain age my mom decided i needed to stop crying, so she made fun of me whenever i cried. They berated me for being sensitive, emotional, or girly in any way. It was awful

My family pretends that none of this happened. My sister says she doesn’t remember my dad beating the crap out of my brother and me - oh, that was another thing that messes with my mind - my sister was off bounds to my father. Only my mother disciplined her. So, here i am, a girl in my mind, being beaten while watching my sister getting a pass. I am the oldest sibling, i was the first to have a child, i was the first one to say “i will not raise my child with violence” I broke the cycle of abuse - but my parents try to claim that they did. My dad actually said he was a permissive parent, and my mom said “I used to beg him to beat the kids but he wouldn’t” which was the exact opposite of the truth. My dad would come home from a demanding job with long hours, while working on his phd - oh yeah, these are educated middle class people - and my mom would shriek at him about how badly behaved me and my brother were just as he got in the door. And he would take off his belt and take all of his anger and frustration out on us. 

They can pretend to forget, but i will never forget. My mother claims that I “dreamed” the things that happened to me, but they weren’t dreams, they were real. It all really happened, i know it did - i don’t care if everyone else in my family claims none of it happened. They buried all of those terrible memories deep in their unconscious minds. I have a strained relationship with my parents, but my brother and sister are closer to them - so, i’ve paid a price for both my memory, and, for not confronting them. I should have confronted them when i figured all this out in my 30s, back when my Mom use to say “We used to chase them but we could never catch them” and my sister would respond “i remember you catching them sometimes.” Now my sister has no memory of any of it. But, she depends on my parents for daycare, especially my Mom. How else could she feel comfy leaving her babies with my mom other than to conveniently forget that she used to break wooden spoons on me and my brother. 

As grandparents my parents are making the same mistake that many people have made - they are now truly permissive. The barely ever discipline the kids at all, and when they do, it’s mostly just to yell at them. My mother used to threaten to hit my nephew with her wooden spoon so often, that he had nightmares about it - that was funny to my mom and my sister - but not to me, coz i have nightmares too. Bad ones. Raising kids without violence does NOT mean raising them without discipline. 

I raised a child, and i taught in schools, and i know for a fact that you can raise a kid without violence, it’s harder than just smacking them, and it takes a great deal of patience, but it’s very rewarding in the end.  One of the problems that i have found is that parents don’t want to admit they don’t know what they’re doing. I was raised by people who beat me, so what kind of parenting skills did i learn from them? People aren’t born with parenting skills, and if you were raised with violence, or bad parenting, then you need help, and there’s nothing wrong with needing help.  If you were raised with violence, then you didn’t learn good parenting from your family.

When my daughter was born, i was broke, and jobless. I was good with children, so, a friend of mine got me a job as a substitute for an infant-toddler center. I learned a lot as teacher in daycare, but i learned even more when they sent me to college so they could hire me on as a teacher, rather than a sub. I took Early Childhood Education courses, and i learned about how children develop, and i learned basic parenting skills. If i hadn’t taken those courses, i would have been a terrible parent. I think Child Development should be required in High School. I know people don’t want “liberals” teaching people how to parent, but Child Development is simply learning how humans develop, which helps you understand what a kid can comprehend and what they can’t. 

For instance, at that time, there were some very high profile baby deaths in the news - people didn’t generally know that if you shake a baby it can kill them, because they’re brains and skull are fragile. In one interview, this mom said she shook her baby coz it purposely threw up on her clean blouse right before she was leaving for work. The mom didn’t know that it was physically impossible for her kid to think like that. A baby’s brain hasn’t developed enough yet to know what kind of clothes she’s wearing, or to know that it would make her mad to puke on them. Babies puke coz their digestive system hasn’t fully developed yet.

Or, like, the reciprocal thing. Toddlers - kids between 0-4 - don’t have the cognitive functions yet to understand cause and effect. At that age, a kid’s universe is itself, if they’re sad the whole world is sad, and if they’re happy, then everyone is happy - even if they see another kid crying, if they’re happy, then that kid is happy. They’re self-centered by design. They don’t understand that when they bite someone it hurts the other person. So, if you bite a child in order to “teach” them that biting is bad, you will actually be reinforcing the behavior, because their brain hasn’t developed enough to make that kind of reverse operation - if you bite me and it hurts, that means if i bite someone it will hurt them - that’s pretty advanced cognitive functioning for that age group. Toddlers look to adults to model behavior, they will copy their parents if they able. So if you, as the parent, are trying to teach a kid that biting is bad by biting them - what you’re really doing is telling the child that people are supposed to bite each other.

I learned that in school. My parents certainly didn’t teach me that. What i learned from being beaten is: don’t get caught - it’s okay to lie if it saves your ass - doing certain things is wrong bc if you get caught you’ll get beat - getting beaten sucks - don’t trust people who beat you. It was in school that i learned how to be a good parent, taking Early Childhood Education courses. If you want to raise your child without violence, then you need to learn how to do that, it isn’t easy, it’s much harder than just smacking them. But, it’s also more rewarding. By the time my daughter turned 9 she was a dream, she hardly ever misbehaved, she understood the rules, she knew where the limits were, she knew they were always consistent, and she knew that i would discipline her if she crossed the line. She felt safe, and secure in that consistency. I never felt safe in my house - my parents were never consistent. 

Anyway, i will never forget the beatings, i will never forget the pain, i can’t forget it. I would forgive my parents, but, they aren’t sorry - in fact, they don’t even think they need to be forgiven, coz they live in a fantasy world. I would love to just talk this out with them, but it’s too late now, they’re so much older, and set in their ways, and really, maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe it only matters that i remember. I will never forget, 

[unlessyouwanttocomealong-ding]

What's wrong with PLL Masterlist--- this will be long

includes spoilers from tonight's episode 5/9 1. okay so for starters let's just talk about the ships. so we're really going to pretend like it's okay for spoby to only date because yvonne died, emison to only date because allison was impregnated against her will with emily's eggs (dafuq even is that i swear i thought that was a joke theory people made up), and ezria is really going to get married when his "dead" fiancé literally just returned after having been kidnapped for two years. okay can we just think about that for a second. these poor side characters. i know there's a lot of hate on paige and yvonne and probably nicole too but do they really deserve all of this? do even the main characters even deserve all of this? i mean kidnapped for 2 years. that is intense 2. okay im kind of sort of all for charlotte and lucas having been friends because connections but not really because allison was a b-tch and she would call lucas hermie... can't we assume charlotte knew about that... and yet she was still obsessed with allison???? why? idk maybe that's just me. 3. i was probably one of the biggest contenders for the aria being evil plot line because let's be real she's got nothing else going for her. (sorry ezra) but you're trying to tell me that she's going to just turn evil???????? just cuz she doesn't want to be on the "losing team?" and now poor hanna has to face the consequences. hasn't aria already done enough to hanna? --- to be clear i'm talking about when ali came back and hanna went through this like intense hard time because ali was the worst to hanna like caused hanna psychological issues and aria knew about this and everybody knew about this but instead of talking to her about why she was drinking and acting out, aria got mad at her when her mom's fiancé was super ultra inappropriate with hanna.--- anyways back to the point, if arias going to be evil, why can't she have been evil from the start? it makes no sense for her to turn on her friends now when they're supposed to be loyal best friends. 4. oh and what bs was that? sydneys on the A team because it's nice being on the winning team my butthole. sydney wasn't on the losing team! sydney wasn't even on a team??? like A wasn't going after her, the girls weren't going after her, she's the one who brought herself into the game. don't give me this bs. also just why are all of these irrelevant people coming back... and onto my next point 5. Pastor Ted??? really? you HAD to go there? i don't even understand what happened in that entire scene. he's charlottes dad? i don't even know. i mean i love ted but he's not supposed to be involved. again with unnecessary involvement of irrelevant characters. 6. oh yeah and i just have to throw this out there- ezria is f-cked up! like i can't begin to describe it. first of all- student teacher relationships are gross, but even if u get passed that- the stalking? like sorry guys, season 4 happened and ezra was like super dangerous and now aria just acts like it didn't happen. not only did he stalk the girls and purposely hook up with aria when she's underage, but then when spencer found out, he snuck into her reports and inappropriately handled the situation by telling aria? he's a teacher! if he finds that out tell her parents!!! whatever ezra is scum and people need to face it. 7. onto another character that i don't understand why people like... Allison dilaurentis!!! ok, emison shippers, hold on. hear me out. if it helps, i hate all of emily's other love interests too- except maya because maya was sent from heaven above. but you mean to tell me that allison dilaurentis would "help" hanna marin puke, constantly tell her to watch her weight or stop eating or whatever, lead emily on like a puppet, threaten aria and her family, bully lucas, bully mona, bully jenna, bully everybody in the school... and people think she has redeeming qualities? ok and that's not it. bc i know what you're thinking- "oh but her character developed soooo much!" don't even give me that. her character didn't develop. her character went from being the worst to magically being good. except even now that she's good, she's never once apologized to anybody. in fact she's still a b-tch to paige. she never even mentions that she gave hanna an eating disorder. oh and then in this season when she says addison is worse than her just bc addison looks at her phone while talking to teacher? please tell me nobody believed that crap. i mean seriously please tell me that, because allison was 100x worse. also ik some people will disagree that she led emily on but i mean what else would i call it's she clearly knew emily loved her and then "just for practice." even if it wasn't just for practice, saying that screwed emily up and we know it. and now allison claims territory over emily like a dog anytime paige is near. when paige is gone, allison couldn't care less what emily does 8. so many plot holes i don't have time for that 9. sorry but again, they REALLY went with the storyline of allison being impregnated with emily's eggs. no. N.O. 10. mona deserves better. mona deserves better. mona deserves better. MONA DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER SAY IT WITH ME PLEASE! 11. but where are the actually relevant characters... melissa, wren, jason, idk there's definitely way more but i'm done rn I mean we all know there's so much more but this was really just inspired by tonight's episode specifically because my mind was blown by all of it and that they really went there over and hover again. sorry if people love ezria or emison and i offended u. i don't exactly have something against the ships it's just that when u really think about it, it's pretty messed up. but sorry this is long, i guess i had a lot more on my mind than i thought.

[vielramona]

A-Z experiences (june 21, 2016)

(c) livvytakessurveys

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? no but i've seen ones 02. Do you have a lot of scars? yes 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? no 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Maybe 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? Yes. On my stomach. I'm a badass, y'know.

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? Somehow 07. Are you self conscious of how you look? Yeah 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? No. Natural is better. 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope! 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? their looks and/or personality << that's the basis

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you've been grounded for? i don't think i've ever been grounded << me either 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Keep it ofc. Abortion wouldn't be an option. 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? all the time 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? probably preventing from something I want 15. What is one thing you wish you didn't do, just because it wasn't worth it in the end? Pretty much many things

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Silent treatment 17. Name a time when you had to be strong? When they were operating me 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? None. My parents fight (it's unavoidable) but they can now handle it well (hope so) 19. When people at school don't accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? at school i would usually try to ignore them and pretend i didn't care but i actually cared a lot << I think I'm gonna cry to how true this statement is 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Fortunately, none. Bc I would be depressed

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? None. I wish I have 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? not at all lmao 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? When did life became easy? Shut up 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? i want to but i'm not sure yet, maybe later this year or next year 25. How old do you act? i act around my age but i've been told i act older by most people

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? Why? Some cousins I'm not really close with 27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Family 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? not completely

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? I have one, back then when I was a child I got jealous 30. How often do you spend 'quality time' with family members? Often. Weekends.

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? i'm around 5′4, I wish I'm taller than that 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? I think I didn't! :'( 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? I think I act more maturely 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Yes 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? yes

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? real 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? Pessimist 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? Both actually 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? maybe 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? Family? And my mission

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? The latter 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? aspergers syndrome and depression 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? Bad luck 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? yes 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? I don't think about it. But running away is sometimes an option when I can't handle everything

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) there's too many i can't think of any 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? The other way around 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Rarely 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Can't think of any as of now 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? In talking, I guess

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? BOTH! 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? people think i'm smart (i don't) << me too 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? 99+ 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? I wish it would improve 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? Greek Mythology!

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? i'm not in love and i haven't ever been in love << same 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? They just hug me and say sweet words 58. Is love worth it? yes 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they 'love' someone that they've been dating for a few months? Yeah. Those girls don't know how to differ love from infatuation 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? it takes a lot and maybe just a word

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? No, it's the axis 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? average 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? Yep 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? The millions bc there is no perfect person 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 8

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? yeah 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you're not going out with? do whatever the fuck you want (if you both want to do it) 68. Do you know anybody you consider a 'slut'? What makes you say that? Yes they just pull their panties down for stupid fuccbois 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? i would erase a few things i did and i would have done more things i wanted to do but didn't because i was scared << accurate 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can't say both!  BOTH and also it depends

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? Faster than expected 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? i've never fully trusted someone so i don't know. Maybe full pledge loyalty? 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? yes and no 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? idk 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what's the limit of what you can tell them? i don't tell my parents anything but with close friends i tell them but only limited (usually only if it comes up)

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn't necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? kinda, i would keep the memories but I think I would forget it eventually

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? I guess

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? I don't try, I accept that I'm a pessimist 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? no, not everything. I can prove that. 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: yeah

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? figure it out myself, i hate asking for help with anything << SAME 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? i question everything all the time and i'd like to know everything (even though i won't) << who wouldn't 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? i don't think they're truthful 100% of the time, and I'll ask: Can I be the president for a year when war is near? 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? No I'll show them why it's not good to mess with me 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? everything lol

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? Idk 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? waaay too many things to list lol 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? yeah, unless they give me a reason not to. So I disrespect them sometimes 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? usually getting yelled and scolded. 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? depends who it is and what they said << yeah mean people can still be different y'know

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? Grade 10 92. When will you graduate high school/college? This year 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? Find a good job and takeover our business 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? i hate the lectures. I like SOME people and moments 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? None of the above. I'm a good girl 😈

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Always. 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it?nope, no ones ever needed to pressure me to do those things :/ << yeah. Let's influence each other 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? no 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn't really know or love? What did you end up doing? Nothing 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? I'm independent and strong willed

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? nope 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? i wear whatever the fuck i want << yeah me too 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? No. I can dodge it very easily 105. What makes you different from people your age? I'm matured and future-headed

V – Value

106. What's the most expensive thing in your room? My aviators 107. What's more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? the lives of my loved ones and yes I would 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? just little things i've kept << same. I hid it all in a bag 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? Everything I own 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? yes, you can learn a lot from past experiences and that can help you in the future << well said

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? to be happy, to have enough money for the things i need and idk world peace or something << haha funny but we're the same. 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?myself 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? I don't believe it will come true. I act and do it so it will come true. 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Not really 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that's meant to happen, will happen? I agree with everything are meant to happen but wishing isn't a waste of time

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? im more independent 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? just hate in general (for things people can't change etc) << yeah those annoying ppl rly gets on my nerves 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? Yeah I do think so 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? i think a lot of it is based on experiences, you can also be born with certain traits but whether or not those traits become a big part of their personality depends on their experiences << you can be dizzy but it's true 125. Do you think people are generally good ? yes. But most blinded with hatred or brainwashed

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? no, i don't know because i don't really have a reason not to be happy with it << yeah it's really boring and nothing exciting is happening 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?it scares me, i fucking hate change and i try to keep things the same as much as possible even if the change would be good for me or other people 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? i kind of do but i also kind of don't because change 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? idk, nothing really motivates me except myself when i'm in the right mood