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Oscar: As a rookie, I don't believe senseless violence is how my mentors would want me to solve things.

Dan in the distance: RIP HIS HEAD OFF!!!

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Toto: I just ended a four year relationship.

Valtteri: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Toto: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Lewis and Nico fighting from across the garage*

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Dog ninja hc: he has a prey drive and likes to chase moving things and basically what I'm saying is laser pointers are incredibly distracting

he is burning

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Socially-Awkward Team Ro (Kakashi, Yamato, Itachi, Shisui) headcanons? Usually they'd have Shisui as their conversation guide but even he (as a repressed child soldier himself) has his limits when it comes to some social cues most consider common sense. XD

(I never understand why Shisui is included in Team Ro, but ok XD)

The job of 'conversation guide' can fall to Shisui or Kakashi, depending on who it is they are trying to speak with and how well the other one is doing. If neither of them is in a good place, Itachi will pick up the slack.

Itachi is actually rather good at conversation at times, but he also does not like it. Keeping the silence is much more preferable for him.

Tenzo is by far the worst at conversations. You can say what you want about this man, but he told a 16-year-old she was a soldier in his eyes capable of taking care of herself and I have questions. Also, the simplest complement from Kakashi has him pulling out his wallet to pay for lunch. Man doesn't know how conversations work and it's Danzo's fault.

They actually all have assigned conversations to take up when it comes down to it. Kakashi is the one who speaks to anyone his age because as much of a fail as he can be he does actually know how to speak to them. Shisui and Itachi are tasked with speaking to any Uchiha and Tenzo's job is to make sure none of them say anything too incredibly stupid at any time.

No one is tasked with speaking directly to the Hokage or any of the elders. They just take that punishment in turns when need be.

They're each terrible at conversation for a different reason. Tenzo doesn't know how to converse with people like a normal human. The boy has been in Root and Anbu all his life, we're going to give him a break. Kakashi is anti-social and heavily traumatized and has just never been good with people. Itachi has that feeling of being hated by non-Uchiha, and just being trusted with so many secrets that he has learned not to speak about a lot of things, and Shisui...well, He's actually functioning most of the time.

The only one who doesn't actually want to talk to people is Kakashi. He's quite fine with being anti-social, while Tenzo and Itachi both wish that they could be a bit better with social situations.

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I feel like in Team Ro, Tenzo is like that wild card who you think is all mature and stable but then the moment you take your eyes off of him he's playing 'catch these hands' with shisui over some dumbass who insulted kakashi or itachi

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my dad, trying to explain the concept of money to me: say you have a sandwich, and i need your sandwich. but i don't have anything to give you. you're not just gonna give it to me.

me: i would just give it to you.

my dad:

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Minho: how’s your drink?

Chan:

Minho:

Chan: did you poison me?

Minho: don’t be so dramatic. It’s just a light sedative, enjoy your sleep

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Hanata: Shoto, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Shoto: Well of course I have.

Shoto: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Shoto: It's boring.

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Minho: You know what movie trope pisses me off the most?

Minho: When the protagonist is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like ’you won’t do it, you’re too good’ and the person holding the gun is like ’oh shit I am’ and they slowly lower the gun while the other is laughing

Minho: LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

Minho: If I were there, and somebody told me ’you won’t do it’ I would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. Who are you to tell me what I won’t do. Musty bitch

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Rody: I can’t mansplain, manipulate, or malewife my way out of this

Izuku, cracking his knuckles: Manslaughter it is

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“Dear life - when I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge”

— Namjoon

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I Died In 2010 and Was Replaced By Someone With Absolutely No Motivation and Complete Emotional Unavailability, a conspiracy thread

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Jungkook: I was ready for the roaring 20s not the Great Depression.

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Minho: I just got told that I’m “beautiful like a porcelain doll” and that’s a new one.

Chan: Minho, you’re beautiful, but you’re definitely not a porcelain doll because porcelain is fragile and you’re a bad bitch.

Minho, extremely flattered: Aww...

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Minho: I just got told that I’m “beautiful like a porcelain doll” and that’s a new one.

Chan: Minho, you’re beautiful, but you’re definitely not a porcelain doll because porcelain is fragile and you’re a bad bitch.

Minho, extremely flattered: Aww...

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Sasuke Time-Travels, Proceeds to Ask For Help Because It’s Convenient

And then becomes Tsunade’s attack chihuahua. Kinda.

Keep reading

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Bokuto texts Akaashi like “Hey send selfies, i’m bragging about you to some guy i just met”