#makes me remember I gotta get a ref of her done and that I also haven't finished Virility's eme;;;

[rodentbloodart]

WIP doing a lil v-day piece for Vertebrae's blog :3c

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's remaster...

[Spoilers below cut]

Aha! I've expected as much, they usually release a regular episode or a Remaster. It's been a while since they've done one of these, I honestly thought we were going to get one during the Puzzle Park arc, which of course didn't happen.

Let's see, the OG "Return to Freddy's Spaghettria" episode was...

9 YEARS AGO?!?!?

...time isn't real, guys. I feel old old. Makes sense though, the OG has 44 million views, being one of the most popular videos on the channel. It's a no-brainer. also it was spooky month *does the dance* a few days ago.

Anyway, since it's a remaster, this post is going to be a lot shorter than usual.

(the following is my reaction:)

ah, of course, the updated graphics

and Mario going from his polygonal 64 model to his current one

but also peach's castle.... ahem, let's keep going

"no more saying cuss words guys" oh right, susan is watching over us

[*sigh*] i miss my wife, tails. i miss her a lot, I'll be back

gotta make the reference I'm sorry

go off Mario, show those dance moves

also can I just say, I love how expressive Mario is now. It's one of the things I love about the show

WIZARD ROCK IS BACK!!!! it's been so long

man, i'm old

omg the barney song (listen, I was a PBS Kid and I've indeed watched barney when I was a child soooo I still find it wild to hear that song again.)

"do you like popsicles?" oh hey a spongebob... oh...

....i'm overthinking this i'm overthinking this i'm overthinking this

uh, moving on!

and mario using mr. yeast to barricade the door... [*IGBP flashbacks*]

Welcome, everyone, to "Let's Remind Ink of the Show's Past Arcs and Current Mysteries" :)

"remember the locket :)" "YEAH I KNOW I KNOW"

that camera work tho

cocomelon... WHY AM I GETTING FLASHBACKS

pizza :D

[*claps in terror*]

well, that's new from the OG.... okay, look, I know this purple thing is from something else and not related to anything at all i get that BUT I just got reminded of meme rehab

happy halloween to me specifically ig, thanks Team

DAMN his coin count lowered from 24 coins in the OG to just 14 coins in the remaster

WII SPORTS, I love all the references to it in this episode

"who wants a muffin?" "no" "but I wanna die :D" /ref

the mickey mouse audio.... LEAVE ME ALONE *flachback* AAAH *flashback* AAAAAAHHHHH

SMG4 HIIII :D good to see blue Mario every now and then

and some voice acting wow

RAVE PARTY

hold up, i gonna pull out the crafting table for this one

mario can and will teleport behind you when he wants to

pizza :D

also congrats to ArrowDustt for your art being featured in the credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Another pleasant episode. It's really fun to see how much the Team has improved over the years while still being the show. It is a remaster so it's pretty much the same storyline, but the animation and editing and voice acting and so much more. Go show some appreciation for the Team!!

As much as I'm here for the loreeeeeeeee, I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with silly episodes. it's the silly meme show after all... but Team, was it really necessary to remind me that these characters had trauma from previous episodes? well, guess what? it's day of the dead for me so your plan failed aha!!! /silly

Yeah, I do look too much into stuff sprinkled in the background or the episode in general, it's kinda my thing. Don't mind me overanalyzing the bingo numbers from the last episode. Anyway, it was nice of Ben (the thumbnail artist) to show some of the behind-the-scenes.

Stretchy boi :) Love when the Team does these kinds of things. By the way, if anyone was curious, the WOTFI website is still up. Interesting....

Well, my dear fellows, that's all for now. Curious to know what the next remaster will be, and as always, looking forward to what shenanigans the SMG4 Crew will be up to next week. Hmm, maybe I'll post another episode concept (angst or fluff, no in-between >:] hehehe). Take care, and I'll see you all next time!!! pizza :D

...

BUT ALSO GOOP!FOUR— *green screen explosion*

[snapdragons-sunshine]

o k a y

i have been damaged i hav seen the light i would say i do not know how to feel about kotoko i do not like her i love her i do not want to like her i should love her i cannot stop thinking about her

okay okay okay okay okay... so other people have already made all the excellent amazing absolutely great takes on deep cover mv so nobody listen to be and my ramblings i'm just talking feelings here i started out not liking kotoko like from the get go but now i have mixed feelings and that's more about my own self-psychoanalyzing than anything else don't look at my milgram takes i associate too closely with the characters sometimes to be Objective (like haruka don't get me started on haruka)

so we have kotoko all alone in Judgement Room (nice seeing it in an mv tbh can't remember if seen it before) and she's moving around and the chess pieces are all broken/bloody ... magenta blood. her colour. maybe no no nononono the bloody broken pieces are later with werewolf her it's just broken chess pieces in Judgement Room. i know the pieces represent the prisoners so yeah.

anyway her movements in the room give off a bored sense to me. like, it's done. they're all gone. whats my purpose now. like raistlin majere when he was a god. and that's the thing. she does a pose that makes me think of Lady Justice/don't ask for ref i'm just thinking out loud here and it's like she's a god too. keep seeing her looking up to the moon (wolf aesthetics, looking to the heavens for a reason does she need an external reason now do you kotoko do you do you do you

scenes with the little girl. kid looks up to kotoko. kid's the example of what kotoko originally wanted to protect. kid's a mirror somewhat of what kotoko i was going somewhere with this oh right so kotoko's ummm seeing the girl as a mirror, kinda showing her back to herself. she killed the Bad Guy and kid's happy with her. kid loves her. kid wants to be her. (wears kotoko's hat everywhere too probably i love this kid ). then we have the news report. it's not over yet. kotoko can't stop. kotoko's ignoring the kid here in the park in favour of reading the reports something something this Means Something. what she's doing is becoming more important than the Reason she's doing it girl you're losing yourself

no words about the kid running to her and seeing her on the street. that scene says enough i think. talked it over with my sister, she interpreted kotoko's stare as judging the kid too, that she now sees her as weak, and she despises her too. i took it more as kotoko is too fixated on her goal, she stares at the little girl but doesn't SEE her. she's staring through her. her Goal is too important now. what she wanted to protect she has lost sight of

anyway anyway anyway mikoto mikoto mikoto seems a bit fixated on mikoto (and muu) out of all the other prisoners (not including es ofc es and kotoko parallels ofc). so the giant monster wolf kotoko, see her looming over mikoto i think twice gotta go check the video again

yeah i was wrong. all the other prisoners are just broken chess pieces EXCEPT mikoto. wolf kotoko is looming over him, he's looking down. we see this TWICE. meaning? probably. too hyped to think on it rn? also probably. know that mikoto's her challenge, the prisoner that she wavers on saying is guilty, something something something i need to listen to yonah track asap

there's stuff i could say on the wolf thing, and on muu (i feel there was a lot of muu parallels in this video too, like es... deep cover mocking undercover love it and she rocks that uniform btw) but yeah all my screaming mind sh-t is out and here's a mess

so kotoko video is probably out now. i haven't looked yet and i haven't watched it yet but i will likely get back to this with my perceptions when i am done watching

[fruitcoops]

Hi!

It's the anon of the Remus knockout fic. Could you write a mirror fic?

Yep! For anyone who is curious: a mirror fic is when you take the premise of one fic, then translate it to a different character with minor alterations. This one has the same theme as Knockout, where Sirius was knocked unconscious after a bad hit. This is also the first half-and-half commentary fic I’ve ever written!

SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for injury, minor blood, fighting, and unconsciousness

“Lee, are you seeing this?” Frank asked, excitement building in his voice.

“I am, Frank! There’s a melee on the ice—it looks like the Lions and Snakes have finally let their cork pop after that dirty check on Lions captain Sirius Black! Oh, what a hit on Malfoy by O’Hara! That’ll leave a mark,” Lee laughed. Several whistles blew, loud and shrill over the roaring fans. “Let’s get a playba—wait. Hang on a second, Frank, is that—?”

“There’s a player down,” Frank confirmed, sobering immediately. “Lee, I think that’s Lupin, but he’s not moving.”

“Black is waving medics over and it looks like the Lions have put their fists away for the moment. Snape tries to start something again, but—oh, shut down by the refs. Right to the bench for him.” They fell quiet as another person hurried onto the ice. “That’s Hestia Jones, Gryffindor’s newest addition to the training team. Lupin always speaks highly of her, so he should be in good hands.”

Noise rippled over the stadium after a period of suspended silence. “Is he moving? He is! Lupin’s conscious again, and nobody is calling for a stretcher, which is a great sign.” Frank paused for a moment as Hestia and Sirius helped pull him upright. “And Lupin’s heading toward the locker room with about half the team on his heels, mostly under his own power.”

“I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief after that,” Lee said. “I don’t know about you, but I never like seeing fights go bad. How do you think it happened?”

“Let’s take a look.” The jumbotron picked up just after number 8 on the Snakes collided with Sirius in a late hit, nearly knocking his helmet clean off; in mere seconds, the two teams were on each other in a pack of fury. Remus went after number 8, one of the enforcers—they tussled for a moment before a hard hit from his opponent knocked him flat on the ice.

“Lupin’s fiery, but he was well out of his weight class there,” Lee said, shaking his head. “It seems like no permanent damage was done, though. We’ve got enough Lions and Snakes in the boxes that both teams are going to their second strings, Frank! Back to you!”

----------------------

Sirius’ heart pounded in his ears as they headed off the ice, moving as slow as possible to avoid damaging Remus on the off-chance something serious had happened. Hestia’s arm was a steel bar around his lower back; Talker, James, and Leo flanked them until they reached the boards, and each of the Lions put a gentle hand on Remus’ back when he passed them.

“I’m alright,” Remus said as they stepped into the tunnel, his head drooping forward. “ ‘m okay.”

“Can you help him get his pads off?” Hestia asked quietly, finally making eye contact with Sirius while they helped him sit on the PT table.

He nodded and gently guided Remus’ hands away from the straps and buckles, undoing them from muscle memory as he kept a careful eye out for anything they may have missed. Remus half-smiled, though more pain had overtaken the dizziness. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Sirius winced at his voice crack, but removed the heavy pads without missing a beat. “How’re you feeling?”

Remus shrugged one shoulder. “Hurts. Nothing out of the ordinary, though. Can you call my mom?”

“They’ll be here soon, I bet.”

“Did you see them?”

“Earlier, yeah. They’ve got seats in the middle.”

Hestia tapped Sirius’ hip and he reluctantly moved aside to let her run through the concussion protocol, though he didn’t let go of Remus’ hand and grabbed a nearby paper towel to clean up some of the blood on his lip. “You look good to me,” Hestia said after a few minutes. “A little banged up, but nothing scary. Get some rest and water, and you’ll be good as new.”

The paper covering the table crinkled as Sirius sat down, rubbing small circles on Remus’ lower  back. “Do you want to stay here or head back to the bench?”

He made a face. “Stay here, I think. I’m kind of wobbly.”

“I’ll grab your water and be right back, okay?”

Remus nuzzled Sirius’ collarbone with a sigh, then kissed his cheek. “Thanks, hon.”

As soon as Sirius was out of the PT room, he leaned against the wall and blew out a shaky breath, running both hands through his hair. He had been too preoccupied with recovering from the late hit and shoving Snape to stop Remus from engaging with the Snakes’ enforcer; all he could do was watch as they traded one, two, three hits before Remus dropped. Dropped like a stone, and took Sirius’ heart with him.

Nobody else noticed at firs—both teams were a brawling wreck at that point, and for all of his hard work Remus was still one of the smaller guys out there. It was a miracle Hestia had even heard him calling for a medic as he gripped Remus’ hand and fumbled through hoarse pleas for him to open his eyes. He had been so pale when Sirius pulled his helmet off, save for the blossoming reddish-purple mark across one side of his face.

Hestia had let him stay while she worked, speaking clipped and clear by the side of Remus’ head until he mumbled “hear you” and “hurts”. It took another half-minute before he looked at them, and a dozen lifetimes before his breathing went back to normal under Sirius’ palm.

He’s okay, he told himself for the umpteenth time. He’s okay. He’s awake. Hestia’s got him.

Sirius walked to the bench in a daze, hardly glancing at the game while he collected their waterbottles and braced himself on the back of a chair for a moment. “How is he?” Arthur asked, worry lacing his tone.

“He’s okay. Bruised and dizzy, no concussion.”

“Deep breaths, Cap. Deep breaths.” Sirius inhaled slowly, then exhaled with a shiver. Arthur gave his shoulder a light squeeze. “There you go. Everything’s alright.”

“That was fucking terrifying.”

“Sit down for a second, yeah?”

Sirius shook his head. “Gotta get him some water. Christ. Okay, I’m okay. Don’t know if you want me back out—”

“No,” Arthur said firmly. “We’re ahead, and your boys don’t look like they’re going to let the Snakes take it back.”

“Thank you.” Sirius pressed his lips together as the delayed fear rocking through him began to abate.

“Go on, son. I’ll update the others if they ask.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face before heading back down the hall with both waterbottles, trying to calm his racing heart to the sounds of quiet voices coming from the PT room.

“Sirius!”

“Hey, buddy.” Sirius bent down to catch Jules in a hug and felt tears prickle back up in his throat as his ribs were nearly crushed beneath skinny arms. The second he straightened, Hope and Lyall pulled him close in a flutter of worry.

“Is he still awake?” Lyall asked.

“Hestia’s got him,” Sirius confirmed, running a steady hand through Jules’ hair. “He’s up and talking, no concussion. I was just getting him some water.”

Hope looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she nodded. “Thank you. Can we see him?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Sirius lifted Jules onto his hip—the kid wasn’t letting go of him anytime soon—and led them down the hall, then knocked before pushing the door open the rest of the way.

Almost immediately, Remus was mobbed by both his parents. “I’m fine,” Remus assured them as Hope inspected the bruise on the side of his face. “I should know better than to start fights with—”

“You didn’t start it,” Lyall interrupted. “That was a late hit and the refs should’ve called it before things went that far.”

“Oh, lovey,” Hope murmured, cupping his face in her palms. “We are so happy for you, and we one hundred percent support you, but please think before you punch people twice your size.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Remus laughed as she kissed his forehead. “Where’s Jules?”

“Here.” Jules wiggled free of Sirius’ arms and crept over, then clambered up onto the table and tucked himself against Remus’ ribs with a sniffle. “Don’t do that anymore.”

“You got it,” he promised; Sirius lingered on the outside of their group hug before Remus reached out and dragged him into his other side. “Family hugs include you now, remember?”

“I need all my boys in one spot,” Hope added, giving him a light jostle.

“You guys are welcome to stay as long as you like,” Hestia said from the doorway as she propped it open. “Cap, Loops, coach might want to see you after the game.”

“How much time do we have?” Sirius asked without extracting himself from the net of affection.

“Eh, maybe five minutes? We’ve scored two goals in the past ten, so I don’t think it’ll drag on too much longer.”

“Sirius, how are you feeling? That hit looked pretty hard.” Hope gave him a concerned look, as if she was expecting him to also drop unconscious.

“I might be a little bruised in the morning, but I’m fine,” he said.

Lyall narrowed his eyes, then nodded. “Good. We need you.”

“I won’t be in for the rest of the—”

“We need you here,” he clarified, patting Sirius’ back. “Right here.”

Remus caught his eye and smiled softly; Sirius swallowed around the lump in his throat and relaxed into the hug, resting his temple against the top of Remus’ head. He was okay. They both were. They all were.

[hermannsthumb]

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

[shinymooncolor]

Hi!

So - had two prompts that I’ve combined into this chat!

As always @lumosinlove is the mastermind of this wonderful fandom. 💖

I want to thank you all! Over 20 snippets and chats now. You guys are absolutely incredible and I can’t believe the feedback and love and good vibes I get from you. Thank you! I’m all done with prompts except for one which is the next chat - so I’ll be open for your ideas 😍

@frombeauxbatons and @canesinthecrease just because you inspire me ❤️

The boys are being naughty at a team event. Don’t worry. Consent was given on all accounts - they’re good boys! But they’re also a bunch of frat boys with muscles.

Remus plans a prank. He blames dumo and James. Nado organizes. Sergei wins. Timmy loses. Dumo is a prankster too. Olli is sneaky. Sirius is not in on the prank. Kuny is Kuny. Nat is amazing. Kris is an ally. Nado is also the team’s phoebe. (Friends reference)

Sweater weather chat #14

——

Saturday 5.22 pm

Nado created a group chat.

Nado named the group chat THE BIG LIONS HEIST 2020.

Nado added James, Remus, Dumo

Nado: hey Re. Remember the plan? We need to get all the boys to take the selfie before he notices

Remus: Nado. We’ve gone over this multiple times. I’ll get the phone from Sirius. I still think this is a disaster but you and James are very convincing

James: it’s a fucking awesome plan. He won’t notice I bet

Nado: also extra points if you get him all worked up😂

James: I don’t wanna spend an entire evening looking at Sirius trying to hide a hard-on

Nado: why not? It’s funny 😂

Dumo: why did remus get the easiest job?

Remus: I’m the only one who gets to put my hands in Sirius’ pocket.

Nado: awwww jealous?? You know we see him naked like several times a day?

Dumo: you’re not supposed to look.

Nado: I’m curious about the human body!

James: well we’ve all had sneak peaks. Still scared of Sergei

Dumo: he should hAve a tramp stamp saying heavy machinery

Nado: lets get him drunk!!!! Brady can ink him!!!!

Remus: you are not inking anyone without their consent. Also; have you met his wife? She’d skin you all alive.

Dumo: she would. I’ve seen her make a reporter cry.

James: why?

Dumo: the reporter insinuated things about Kuny. Not sure what he said but based on the cursing and sunny having to physically restrain her I think it was bad

Nado: yikes anyways we got everyone on board. I’ll kick cap out the group chat once you’ve swiped the phone. Now go get your tuxes on. We’ve got rich old ladies to woo.

Dumo: you’re not supposed to take them home.

Nado: I never saw that rule. Older ladies knows some shit. Damn. Cougars are wild!

Remus: I’m not treating sex injuries

Nado: you treated Kuny’s groin last month?

Remus: that was from the ice.

Nado: sure it was 😜

Dumo: I’m ending this. Go change and BEHAVE tonight

——

Saturday 8.54 pm

Nadotheman removed siriusly from the group chat

Nadotheman added Remus to the group chat

Nadotheman changed Remus to Loops

Blizzard: did you do it? You have the phone?

Loops: yes. I did my part. Your guys are up

Nadotheman: okay here are the rules for the 2020 lions heist (this year we’re doing truth and dare the lions way - so mostly dare)

1. We have 3 hours and cap’s phone. Each team member has to get a selfie with cap in the frame. The best (dirtiest) photo wins 😜

2. CAP CANT KNOW

3. Leo and Walker are starting and they get to chose the next one. You’ve all got one photo each

4. To be considered we need the photo sent to this chat before midnight.

5. Remus is the ref on this little game.

6. If you lose. You’ve gotta tell us 3 secrets. He he we get to pick when.

DamnFoxy: how is this a prank on cap?

Prongstar: he’s always being swarmed and it’s fun. He’s our canvas and we need to fill in the blanks. It’s like hide and seek meeting truth and dare meeting Pictionary meeting Snapchat

CarbO’Hara: so we can start? Cause Kuny’s been snogging that girl for 4 minutes now? Does he not need to breathe?

Nadotheman: that’s two points for Leo!

CarbO’Hara: @newt-leo? WhY? I saw him first?

Newt-Leo: he’s snogging someone at the shrimp buffet. That’s open season. Also he’s still not come up for air? And it was my turn to start @krisvolley and @prongstar you’re it

KrisVolley: @blizzard & @lewilliam you’re up

LeWilliam: blizzard is cheating!!! He got his girlfriend’s friend to kiss him!!!! And Nat was touching cap’s butt

Blizzard: read the rules man. I’m not cheating

LeWilliam: but it’s unfair?

Blizzard: not my fault. I’m winning.

Loops: @lewilliam I’m pretty sure Nat and blizzard saved cap from a handsy old lady.

Blizzard: @sergei_81 & @kaneyoudigit you’re up

Kaneyoudigit: Hahahaha hahahha pretty sure sergei and me are gonna win.

Dumodad: sergeu just manhandled a very confused looking Sirius all the way back to the toilets?

Nadotheman: wait. Where’s Kuny?

KrisVolley: yeah Sergei definitely won.

Kaneyoudigit: I’ve got a pic too!!!

Logantremblayzzz: well you’ve got only half a cap. Sergei got himself and cap giving thumbs up.

Sunnysideup: you forgot you were supposed to be in the photo @kaneyoudigit 😂

Prongstar: so it’s not even 10 and Kuny’s already half naked in the bathroom. It’s like you guys aren’t even tryin. Didn’t even get a selfie with cap in it yet. Also he wasn’t supposed to know.

Sergei_81: he not know game he think I just want pic for Kuny. Keep try but I’m win.

Krisvolley: well that was smart. Back to the game boys. @dumodad & @logantremblayzzz you’re up

Sergei_81: why you sound surprised? Brat. I’m smart.

——

Nadotheman: everyone got their pics in?

Walkietalkie: yeah. Finno was last with Olli. They’ve just sent it - nice job Olli 😜 timmy didn’t send one tho

Loops: I don’t think I want to know. Olli. How the hell did you get cap to do that?

Ollibear: I just asked him to get some fresh air with me. How could I know timmy was getting acquainted with a girl behind the curtain? 😇

DumoDAD: acquainted? Is that what it’s called now?

RussianGod: at least I go to toilet for hookup

KrisVolley: you’re all terrible.

Sunnysideup: you sent a selfie with you and cap in front of the girls kissing in the corner....

KrisVolley: I’m a proud ally!

Talkiewalkie: to be fair you both look incredible uncomfortable

KrisVolley: it’s a stupid game

Timmyforrealz: HEY?! You losers hear about privacy?

Ollibear: if you want privacy don’t hook up with someone behind a curtain at a fancy nightclub.... also you didn’t send a pic. You’ve lost.

Timmyforrealz: I didn’t lose hah. Maybe I lost your dumb game

Prongstar: don’t blame the game for her dumping you. Also you lost some buttons on your shirt, your tie is a disaster and your dignity is hanging on by a thread

Timmyforrealz: she didn’t dump me. I decided not to pursue it further!

Russiangod: whatever u say. Come on who win?

Loops added siriusly to the group chat

Siriusly: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Why am I in all of these selfies?

Loops: you’re cute when you’re annoyed. I had nothing to do with this😇

Prongstar: captain my captain. It was all loops’ idea. We’ve got a selfie collection for you.

Siriusly: you idiots have spent an entire evening running Around trying to take selfies with me and not tell me?

DumoDAD: it was fun. You didn’t catch on when Sergei asked you to pose in front of Kuny clearly going at it?

Siriusly: I thought it was a prank on Kuny? Like steal his clothes and all/ wait didn’t you steal his clothes?

Nadotheman: we should’ve. Dammit

Sergei_81: loops who win????

Loops: timmy lost.

Siriusly: wait it that why Nat was patting my butt? She said I’d been sitting in something? @blizzard!!!!

Blizzard: 😜

Siriusly: should I be offended? She did ask if it was okay. Wait. Why did I have to be in the photos? You’re not doing another collage?

Prongstar: of course! Last year was cap sleeping in different places.

Siriusly: you’re all idiots. How did you even get my phone??

Loops: ...

Siriusly: oh.

Talkiewalkie: awwwwww... 😜

Timmyforrealz: anyone seen my wallet?

Ollibear: I give up. 🙏🏻

[lotusss-flowerbomb]

What We Have (2)

Viktor Drago x reader

Warnings: Smut

Summary: Reader is Adonis’ adopted sister, she and Viktor falls for one another.

A/N: There is unprotected sex in this story. Remember this is fiction, so in real life, make them wrap that before you let them tap that, babe. Please keep in mind, as to not completely butcher the Russian language, everything in bold italics is Russian. Hope you guys enjoy!!

Word Count: 2,362

********

You got dressed and headed to the arena. You hadn't heard from Adonis yet, but you knew as a part of his ritual that he didn't watch any TV or get on social media before a match.

The stares and the whispers were upsetting, but Dennis stood by your side like the good friend that he is. You went to Viktor first to get a few words before the fight.

When you entered the locker room, Ivan stood and was on his way over to you. He looked menacing and every muscle in your body tried to force you to run, but you wouldn't let him see you waver. Viktor stopped his father and came to you instead.

"Here to make me look like a monster again?" His face looked like stone, but you heard the small quiver in his voice.

"I did not edit or approve that final cut. I would have never done that. No matter what, I'm serious about my job and true to who I am." You tried to explain.

He looked you up and down. The hurt in his eyes was ever present.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because why wouldn't I want to show the world that behind this tough guy exterior, you’re just a giant softy?" You shrugged.

He softened for just a split second, but as always he quickly regained his composure.

"Ask your questions and leave," Ivan said from behind him.

You rolled your eyes at him and asked Dennis to start rolling. You did your introduction first and then asked Viktor one question.

"What's your goal tonight, Viktor? Let the world know what it is that you hope to accomplish since that part of the interview never made the cut." You pushed the mic towards him.

"The only thing that I wish to accomplish tonight.... Is breaking your brother," he said and walked away.

Ivan smirked at his son and clapped him on the back.

Dennis stopped the camera.

"Why did you do that?" You asked him.

"Because this guy and his father are assholes and we need to see the champ before the match," he said loud enough for the men to hear.

Dennis was no fighter and wouldn't stand a chance against either of the Dragos, but he was your friend and he would always stand up for you when needed.

The two of you left to go see Adonis before his introduction. When you got to his locker room Duke stopped you and stared you down.

"I don't wanna hear it Duke. I did something stupid and it was caught on camera. There's nothing I can do about it now." You said to him.

"We ain't tell him nothing, because we want him to be at his best for this fight, but when it's over you got a lot of explaining to do," he moved out of your way and let you in.

You went inside and spoke with your brother, wished him luck and gave him a big hug.

"Yo, you good?" He looked at you concerned. He'd always been able to tell when something was wrong with you.

"Yeah, you know I'm always a little nervous before you fight." It wasn't a total lie.

"Don't worry, sis, I got this." He shadow boxed the air a bit and even smiled a little.

You bumped fists with his gloves before leaving and going to your seats.

You watched as Viktor hopped around in the ring. You took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. You averted your gaze when Adonis’ entrance music started playing.

You joined the crowed in cheering for the champ. Bianca stood by you a nervous wreck. You gave her hand a tight squeeze and smiled before resuming your cheering.

You watched as Adonis threw the first few punches after the starting bell. Victor wasn't even trying to hit back the first few seconds.

"Careful Dee, he's baiting you!" You yelled.

The moment you said that, Viktor started in on him. He had him backed into the ropes when the first bell rang.

When the second round started Viktor came in hot. You don't know what Ivan had said to him, but he wasted no time throwing hammers.

Your breath caught in your throat when your brother fell through the ropes. The entire crowd jumped to their feet.

"Come on, Dee, you got this!" You shouted when he stood.

Viktor landed one big punch to his ribs and Adonis dropped. He stood back up and kept taking hits, but was once again saved by the bell.

"He's not gonna let you call it, Duke," you said aloud when he climbed in to talk to him.

You looked over at the other corner and Ivan was yelling at Viktor.

The bell rang for round three and both men went in swinging. You knew it was over when Victor hit him in the ribs again. Adonis dropped to the mat and Viktor hit him with an uppercut.

You jumped over the divider and ran into the ring. You dropped to your knees by your brother's side as the doctors checked him. You turned to see Duke trying to keep Bianca back.

You stood and ran over to Viktor who watched from the other side.

"He was already down!" You screamed and smacked him across the face.

You were about to hit him again when you were pulled back by the ref and restrained. Duke grabbed you.

"I know you're upset. I know, but you gotta chill. I need you to get B outta here." He tried to talk some sense into you.

You looked over at your sister-in-law and calmed immediately. You took her outside, so you could follow the ambulance to the hospital.

You were in your office waiting for Viktor to arrive. You tapped your foot and looked at your watch again. He was 40 minutes late.

You were already upset that your boss was making you still do a post fight interview with him. He didn't care that the man literally tried to kill your brother just a few days earlier. He also didn't care about the constant gossip surrounding you. You wanted this and you got it.

"I don't think he's coming," Dennis said.

"Neither do I. You can go home," you informed him.

"Are you sure? I have no problem waiting for you to finish whatever needs to get done."

"I'm sure. A few minutes alone will do me some good, besides, I'll only be about a half hour, so I'm right behind you."

"Okay, well, good night," he waved and shut the door.

You flopped down in your chair and closed your eyes. Moments later you heard a knock at the door.

"Hey, did you forget... something..." Your words trailed off when you opened the door and saw Victor staring back at you.

"Sorry I'm late, I —"

"Your excuses aren't needed," you turned to walk away. "Your time window has expired and there is no longer a reason for you to be here. Goodbye."

His hand reached out for your wrist. You stopped in your tracks and looked down at him.

"Can we talk, please?" He asked, softly. He didn't wait for you to answer. He stepped in and closed the door.

"Let me go," you tugged.

"Please?"

"If you wanted to talk, Mr. Drago, you would have shown up on time for your session. I would like for you to let go of me, now!" You snatched away. 

"I wish you would just listen to me!" He raised his voice slightly.

"Oh, so what, are you gonna hit me now?!"

"I would never, you know that's not who I am!"

"You almost murdered my brother. I don't know who you are." You walked away to your desk and sat in your chair.

He put his hand on the knob and stopped himself from opening the door. You heard him inhale and exhale loudly.

"I am sorry. I never should have done that and I never meant to hurt you." He walked over and kneeled in front of you. He laid his head in your lap. "My father... he said some things to me in the corner and I just lost it."

"Tell me," you said.

He was quiet at first, but then he started speaking again.

"He said, 'That's why she left us.'"

"Your mother?"

"Yes..."

"I heard him tell Rocky."

"She left and never looked back. When he said that, I just lost my mind."

You lifted his head so he would look at you. His eyes were so sad.

"It doesn't excuse what you did, but you being vulnerable like this is making it very difficult for me to not just hate you." You told him.

"I'm so sorry," he said as he stood to his feet. "I just wanted to let you know. I couldn't leave tomorrow without telling you."

He pulled you up and wrapped his arms around you for a hug. You let go of him and put your hand in his to walk him to the door. He pulled you back and kissed you.

He pushed his tongue into your mouth and you could feel his big hands gripping your ass. You tore yourself away.

"No, Viktor, I can't do this."

He grabbed your thighs and hoisted you up, so you'd wrap your legs around his waist.

"I don't care what people say. I want you."

He laid you back on your desk and went in for another kiss. You could feel his length pressing against his jeans.

He pushed your skirt up and ran his fingers over your lace covered clit.

"Mmm," you moaned as you sucked his tongue into your mouth.

He pulled you to the edge of the desk and lifted your legs. He kneeled in front of you and pulled your panties to the side exposing your pussy and used two fingers to rub in between your folds and spread your wetness around.

"Look at that pretty pussy," he said, just before standing and sliding your underwear off and stuffing them into his pocket. 

He got back down on his knees and put a hand on each thigh to ensure you won't close them.

You were feeling exposed. You were on your desk and wide open to this man.

Viktor bit your thigh lightly and pulled you from your thoughts. You then felt his warm tongue press against your clit. Every worry you had disappeared in that moment.

He licked and sucked your pussy like the sweet treat that it is. He used his tongue to fuck your cunt and his thumb to rub circles on your clit.

"Viktor, baby, I'm gonna cum." You warned.

He never slowed his pace. You moved his hand and rubbed your clit fiercely.

"Oh my go—" you screamed as your pussy squirted all over him.

Viktor stopped and watched in amazement. He hadn't been with many women, but he definitely thought squirting only happened in porn.

Once you'd stopped, he stood, wiped off his face and kissed you.

"That was so fucking sexy," he growled.

You pulled his shirt over his head while he worked his jeans and pushed them down. You wrapped your hand around his thickness and circled your awaiting tunnel with the head before he pushed in.

"Mm, fuck!" You dug your nails into his neck.

"You're so tight, printsessa," he sighed.

He hit you with hard strokes. You could feel the desk shifting and surely by the time you were finished, it would be on the other side of the room.

"Yes, baby fuck me!"

He buried his face in your neck. You could hear him moaning as he gripped your thighs and drilled your pussy. The office was filled with the sound of your love making.

You pushed him off of you. He looked confused until you told him to sit down in your chair. You put your feet on the sides of his legs and held on to the arms of the chair. He guided his throbbing cock back inside of you. His eyes rolled as you sank down onto him.

You bounced on his dick. He undid the buttons on your shirt and watched as your tits bounced up and down before leaning in to place soft kisses on each. You grabbed his jaw and brought his lips to yours.

He rubbed your clit as your tongues darted in and out of one another's mouths.

"Yes, rub that pussy," you chanted. "Oooh, yes!"

Your legs were starting to give out as you neared your orgasm.

"Come on, printsessa keep going," he encouraged.

You hissed as the damn of pleasure swept over you. He kept rubbing your clit as you surfed the waves of your bliss.

When he stopped he grabbed your hips and drove himself into you. You kissed him as his grip tightened and he coated your pussy with his seed.

You dropped to your knees on his lap and laid your head on his shoulder. You could feel his heart beating with yours.

The room was quiet as you both thought about what this meant. You finally got up once you regained feeling in your legs and went to the bathroom in your office to clean up. Viktor redressed himself and was waiting for you to return.

"I feel like we probably broke so many unwritten laws just now," you joked. 

"Yeah..." He shrugged. 

"What's wrong?" You asked when he didn't say anything else.

"The next fight... Will you be in my corner?" 

The smile that was on your face dropped.

"Excuse me?"

He walked closer to you and held your hands in his. He looked into your eyes sincerely. 

"I want you to be in my corner," he said.

"No," you snatched away from him. "It's bad enough that I just fucked you on my desk after what you did and now you want me to throw it in my brother's face?"

"But what we have, it's —"

"It's wrong, Viktor. It's wrong and we both know it."

"Okay," he said, sounding defeated.

He kissed your forehead and left without looking back.

********

@titty-teetee​

@bluestarego​ 

@marvelmaree​

@literaturefeen​

@fandomfavesss​

@savageiz​

@scoop93535​

[arukou-arukou]

Flower Anniversary

MCU, for @stevetonygames Fluff: Anniversary prompt for team angst. Warnings, none. Also tacking on epistolary and canon ref: It wasn’t worth it.

Dear Tony, My dearest Tony,

I remember once we talked about religion. It was after Sokovia. Do you remember? I think you were hurting, and you said something about how funerals are pointless. They’re just for the living. I think I said something about last rites, how we needed to make sure the souls of the deceased moved on, and you laughed. Again, I think you were hurting. I know I was. I took it poorly, but I was too tired to fight. I just kind of...would we call it a debate? We debated. And we just kind of ended up talking about the nature of death without fighting. Do you think we could have done that more? Just talk, not argue?

Anyway, all this to say I know you think this letter is pointless. Whatever star stuff made up your consciousness is, by your understanding, lost to the cosmic law of entropy now. But for me, it’s not that easy, you know? So maybe it’s just a letter for me, but that doesn’t matter, right? Because I can’t believe a mind as brilliant as yours is just gone to dust. The very thought is unconscionable.

So let me tell you about this year. Morgan auditioned for the school play and got the role of Snow White. I think Pepper was shocked. Morgan’s been so excited about math, I think she just assumed Morgan would follow in your metaphorical scientific footsteps. But Hope has been coming around a lot to fill that auntie role, and I think she wants to make sure Morgan doesn’t get pigeonholed the way she was as a kid. The way you were, for that matter. I don’t know everything about her relationship with Hank, but I think there are parts of it that are fraught, even if they love each other very much.

You’d be so proud of Morgan, Tony. She’s captivating on stage. I wish Nat was here to teach her to dance. And even if Pepper was surprised, she’s been so supportive and all of us have tickets for the show. Every living Avenger is going to be there, and maybe even a delegation from Wakanda. It’s very kind of T’Challa, given how incredibly busy he is. I think he’s squeezing it in between two diplomatic conferences in the city or something.

What else? Stark Industries is still a leader in clean energy, you’ll be pleased to know. Pep’s keeping the flame alive for you, making sure that the company adds more collective good to the world. I think—and you didn’t hear this from me—that she and Jim are dancing around the idea of dating. I don’t know how you’d feel about that. I know you’d want them both to be happy, and they both loved you so much, I don’t think it’s very surprising that they’d be compatible.

Carol’s slid into a leadership role in the Avengers very comfortably. In a lot of ways, she’s more suited to it than you and me ever were. She was part of a military organization, even if that organization brainwashed her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to make the Avengers work, and work better, really. They’re not stretched so thin now, and she’s a fantastic mentor to Peter, especially now that his name’s been cleared. Quentin Beck. What a piece of work.

And me? I’m…I’m chugging along. Retirement feels beyond me. I’m happy to cede my leadership duties to Carol, but the idea of just completely bowing out… What would I do? Carve canoes? Buck’s retired. He has a goat farm in Wakanda, if you can believe it. And he’s really happy with that. He and Sam are dating long-distance and it’s going really well. But that’s not for me. Can you imagine me looking after goats? They’d trample me to death. Maybe if I had a family…but you and Nat. You guys were my family. Even when we were fighting. Even when we hurt each other so badly. And now you’re both gone. It’s been four years. How have I been without you for four years already? But I suppose that’s the way of it. So I’ll set this little letter afloat for you. Got another one for Nat that I still need to write. But I wanted to just…to just tell you. It’s still not worth it, Tony. We don’t sacrifice people. I stand by that. It was never worth it. You’d disagree. You and I, we just can’t help ourselves. Always gotta argue about something. And I even miss that. Better fighting with you than not having you at all.

I miss you. I love you. I’ll talk to you next year.

Yours, always yours, Steve

[princeleyjeans]

Another thing I wanna talk about is a scene from the W&G reboot fix my ass NEEDS to write but can't rn thanks to buuuurrrrrrrrn-out! Whoo! Gotta love unstable mental health. Anyway! The scene is aftermath of a big, fabulously posh and extravagent party, imagine Ball/MET gala, everyone rich and judgey is there, Lady Tottington has done her schmoozing and arse kissing for the next Veg comp, getting all the sponsers and that, and as the night rounds up, Amelia steals Wallace away from Gromit and Fluffles who've somehow become Coat boy and receptionist (It's hella cute and they love the break from the pups) and taken him upstairs. WHY this is so note worthy (its not, really, I just like it and wanna talk about it) to me personally is because obviously, everyone imagines (Even me, despite being the writer???) they're gonna do the do, Wallace himself probably thinks the same thing, hence why he's hella nervous and wanting to yeet real bad cus he has no knowledge of ladies, none he remembers that is XD But, it isn't, the door closes behind them, bolts shut, they fall onto the bed like some tella novella couple about to passionately bump uglies and then Amelia breaks out some good old VHS tapes! "These were my favourite growing up! Nothing can capture the magic of vintage cinema like these. Make yourself comfortable, this won't take more than a minute" It's hella tumblr, you'd see gifs of this scene if it were a real thing. the wee hours are just the two snuggled up, watching old films and Wallace being started at how this dominating predator of a woman is suddenly reduced back to a wide eyed girl, capsulated by disney classics and Detective noirs. Granted, this is already mainly tumblr trash as Wallace is a man canonly, I assume, somewhere in his early 50s and Amelia was written to be just at the edge of 32 (She was originally 25 before I grew up and realised how gross that was. To be fair I designed her when I was like 9 'not joking', so I'm not gonna shit on myself that hard...wish growing up would've changed my taste in men tho) cus the whole point of her was to be an active, evil, romantic constant in his life that even Gromit couldn't bulldoze away. Also, you know, I, the writer prefer older men so that of course had to be a thing...yayyyyyyy. Back to the point, this scene is supposed to open up her character, you go in thinking "Oh christ, she's Victors kid, she's skilled with guns and hunting and all this dangerous shit, this is gonna go one of two ways", but then you get the THIRD WAY (Gta v ref right there), option C baby! And she is still this frightening presence that Gromit tries to rid them of and rescue his master from, however unlike the cartoon, the happy ending doesn't require rightious justice. Yes she is still a villan to some extent, hunts, kills animals, makes deals with seedy ass people abroad, but Amelia also melts into a semi neutral on her own side but also Wallace's side good-ish guy. She's complicated and something Nick Park would never add to his creation but as a fiction writer I can add some spice to something that one day, might be sold to someone who could add spice or would be willing to see my spice (I'm talking about ideas, not drugs here). Amelia is a villan, not entirely evil but you don't stand in her way, at the same time, she can learn and shift and change if its worth something to her, like all of us, especally when it involves Wallace because she loves him, and he's a pretty forgiving guy so the business with Victor is deemed sorta rectefied cus he's been beaten to a pulp and is now stuck with a walking stick and all that dark ass jazz. Wallace has put that stuff aside so he an Amelia can have a life together, plus family gatherings are a hoot when the dad in law tried to murder you and your brother in laws...know how to dispose of a body--OKAY IM DONE BYE

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Oc song ask — #1-3 :)

1. Teen Idle, MARINA

Amethyst Andrews all the way (also a bunch of my other ocs but especially Amy)

I actually made a video for Amy and Teen Idle here!  It’s so hard to figure out how to explain this one because the vibes are just so strong all the way throughout!  But Amy’s teen years were pretty awful and traumatizing, and looking back and wishing she’d done things differently is a major mood for her!

Some of the lines that stick out the most are 

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle // Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title // Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible // Feeling super, super, super suicidal”

“The wasted years, the wasted youth // The pretty lies, the ugly truth // And the day has come where I have died // Only to find, I've come alive”

“I want back my virginity // So I can feel infinity”

“Oh God, I'm gonna die alone”

“Adolescence didn't make sense // A little loss of innocence // The ugliness of being a fool // Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”

2. Remember Me, Dove Cameron

Jo Clarke x JJ Maybank x John B Routledge

oooo okay so admittedly I was actually listening to this when I first started working on Jo which is part of why it vibes so strongly, and then I wrote a drabble for them with it here!  But overall, the vibes of ‘things are going to go downhill so please remember me in this good moment’ and the romanticized reminiscence just fit them so well!

Some of the lines that stick out the most are 

Please remember me like this // Beautiful and talking shit // Cause things get ugly way too quick // And right now we're just so perfect

No shoes // Dancing 'round your living room // Pulling off my t-shirt // Putting on a show for you

Running in the raindrops // City is a graveyard // Kissing at the train stop // We don't care if they watch // Nothing wrong with PDA // You and me can't hardly wait // Till we get back to your place

Riding down Rodeo and I just took the top off // I'm still with the same friends, before we've seen the pop off // Some things just don't change, they stay the same

3. Only The Young, Taylor Swift

Annalise Goode, Alyssa Solomon, and Leia Gallagher!  They’re my main Gallagher Girls ocs lmao but it really fits all three!  The later books go into some dark places but also get into some politics, and they really explore the traumatic side of the teen hero trope, and all three of their stories give that a lot of focus!  The very basic theme of the later books is that the adults in power can’t be trusted, and the teens have to rely on themselves to fix it, which is also very much the point of the song!  There’s also the fact that some important scenes from the story take place in DC and actually at a political campaign, but the dramatic shift in the energy of DC as a city is something that really resonates with parts of the gallagher girls series

Some of the lines that stick out the most are 

You're screaming inside // And frozen in time // You did all that you could do

The game was rigged, the ref got tricked // The wrong ones think they're right // You were outnumbered, this time

You go to class, scared // Wondering where the best hiding spot would be

They aren't gonna help us // Too busy helping themselves // They aren't gonna change this // We gotta do it ourselves // They think that it's over // But it's just begun Only one thing can save us

Don't say you're too tired to fight // It's just a matter of time // Up there's the finish line

Send me a number between 1-100

[big-girl-toaster]

Emily Sonnett - player analysis

A compilation of Sonnett‘s strengths, weaknesses (cause everyone has them) and general observations from Portland and USWNT games (mostly from 2018 and 2019) ft. my irrelevant opinion.

Enjoy!

Before I’ll start a few notes:

I’m obviously not a professional soccer analyst person or whatever, so please don’t come for my ass. These are just patterns or reoccurring things in Sonnett’s game I observed while rewatching tons of PTFC and USWNT games. 

I will focus on a few key points, that doesn’t mean that she has deficiencies in other aspects, sometimes it’s just hard to show them and I tried to avoid stating arguments without giving visual evidence. (All the links and credits are below the gifs)

I would love it if you gave additions, feedback or criticism to this post but all in all I just hope that you enjoy reading a bit about Sonnett’s more professional side and soccer tactics in general.

Please let me know if the format is weird, I’m still figuring out how to make big posts.

I sincerely apologize for the low quality of gifs, as I said, I’m figuring things out and I wasn’t able to upload proper clips.

And lastly, Sonnett is a precious little bean and I enjoyed making this more than I should have. Also, did I use this as an excuse to spend days on end rewatching old games? Yes I did.

I will start with three main strengths I think she brings to the pitch:

Communication / Leading the back line                                               (this is in regards to her position with the Thorns, I will talk about the differences between PTFC/USWNT later on)

As a center back you naturally have a more responsible role in terms of shifting players that are in front of you and communicating things to them they can’t necessarily see. Sonnett embraces that role completely and at 25 years old she is at the level of world class CBs in that regard. A lot of players take on that role much later in their career. Her college coach Steve Swanson for the University of Virginia said about her:

"There is a standard of focus and intensity that Emily demands of the players that play around her. She’s not afraid to hold her teammates accountable in that regard. That was one of the unique aspects of our team dynamic this year, is that Emily's style of leadership is different than the team was used to. I think the team has recognized that the qualities Emily has, we need.“

http://www.espn.com/espnw/news-commentary/article/14100802/virginia-emily-sonnett

This clip I wanted to show you is from a situation that is very common for a defensive line but overlooked bc we as viewers naturally tend to look at the movement of the ball. It’s the intentional shifting of the back line in the exact right moment to let an opposing attacker run into offside. In the original video you can hear Sonnett shout “DROP THE LINE“ and Menges and Kling follow her movement which results in Alex being successfully caught offside at the side line. 

((Tumblr won’t let me upload video clips, so here’s a crappy gif (look at Sonny and Menges), click the link to get to youtube, it’s at 21:30))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JGM6Nju0b4

A simple moment but a very crucial part of back line coordination.

      2.    Box positioning

A.k.a. one of the most important parts of good defending. Sonnett covers runs from attackers almost always with textbook precision. She anticipates passes and is able intercept balls which makes her a proactive rather than a reactive player. When she does have to go for a tackle she brings a feistiness that she probably learnt from a certain Kelley O’Hara I can imagine. She usually opts for slide tackles and that decision could be debatable if you’re the coach but it’s just so good to look at tbh

(credit to @geekmythologys for the last gif)

But anyway, her box positioning. Having watched a lot of games with my eyes glued to number 16, I can of course safely say that Sonnett knows what she’s doing. But I’ve been thinking more and more that she often has a sort of intuitive approach when it comes to box positioning in particular. For this next clip I’m gonna need your opinion. Normally I wouldn’t tell Sonnett to abandon her player in that moment, especially bc it creates a 3v2 situation on the attackers left side and also considering the angle in which Dunn is facing the goal. However, she steps in and is able to block the ball.

to see it properly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ  at 15:40

What do you think?

Oh and this is just excellent clearance work. AD was certainly hyped about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvcOuadyFu4

    3.   Offensive effort

Sonnett is one of the highest scoring CBs of the league but her offensive efforts aren’t measurable in just goals. For corner kicks she likes to do the near-post run Julie Ertz style and has been successful in the past, most notably the 2-0 in the semifinal 2017 against Orlando (which resulted in this gem of a gif):

She likes to stay up top for a bit when her position is covered by someone else and tbh I’m living for these moments.

Here she encourages quick playing and would have gotten through with it if the nwsl had good refs. She didn’t even touch her. (get it? haha) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

Here she drives the ball after winning it, even if her teammates are pushing up late and then she stays up front to participate in the counter attack. Unfortunately nothing evolves out of this situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ

Right. Those were the strengths, in terms of weaknesses, I don’t wanna pick apart the smallest things but this is what I found:

Misjudged midfield positioning

We’ve talked about her excellent positioning in the box, however, a huge part of modern soccer is having the Center Backs pushed up to the half-line (as well as inverted outside backs but that’s another point). And what I’ve noticed is that sometimes during turnovers Sonnett goes in to put pressure on the player and with that an even wider space opens up behind her that the opposing team could exploit. Like in this picture.

Blue is the ball movement, red (Sonnett) goes in when in my opinion green (Lindsey) should have been the one putting pressure on the ball bc now Daly can run into that open space. 

Luckily Sonnett’s speed prevents Houston from getting anything out of it but Daly tried it several times during the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

My second example is that iconic tactical foul against ARod that we all remember.

Her positioning isn’t optimal, Klings pass isn’t the best, ARod gets her off of the wrong foot, she can’t turn around fast enough and has to stop her with a professional foul which is (I’ll say it again) demanded by coaches in situations like that. But anyway, tumblr has talked enough about this game rip

      2. Determining the biggest threat

This is a minor one, because Sonnett is usually really good at reading the game and making the right decisions. However in this game against Australia, she tries to cover the space behind Dahl which is technically reasonable but considering how wide open the Australian is, she should have closed her in earlier. That little hop inside the center of the field made the difference and the opposing player was able to score. 

I think it’s safe to say that stuff like this comes with age and experience. And again, Sonnett is only 25!

(The whole game against Australia is awesome for spotting strengths and weaknesses, plus we get tons of Sonny close-ups thus I can recommend rewatching it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Two more things I wanted to include are two risks that could be relevant in the future.

From time to time she doesn’t control her arm movement in the box.

This is obviously the natural thing you do when you make a move like that but with the new rules by Fifa, defenders are more and more limited and this would have been a penalty if it had hit her arm. Idk it could bite her in the ass at some point.

      2. Intuitive positioning 

We’ve talked about this and people might have different opinions on it. I personally think though that this might make the difference between a great and a world class defender. So I say go for it Sonny.

Phew, I’m almost done guys, congrats for getting this far, I hope it’s interesting at all.

The last thing I wanna mention is this: The difference between Portland Sonnett and National Team Sonnett, a.k.a. CB Sonnett and RB Sonnett.

Even though as a right back your role is more offensive, I feel like Sonnett has to be pushed to go for it. She rarely does those runs in behind the winger and towards the end line. When she does it it’s great but compared to Kelley she simply isn’t there yet. It also seems to me like for Portland she takes more liberties in pushing forward which maybe is a confidence thing as well. She is a given for the Thorns but had to fight to regain that roster spot for the NT in 2017 after not being called up for several months. Maybe the fear of making mistakes bc of being out of position hinders her a bit? (I’m saying this while being aware that I of course don’t know what the coaches want her to do and what the different game plans require of her.) Anyway, I love her 1v1 defending as RB. I think she is underrated and absolutely deserves a spot on the Olympic roster next year. 

One last low quality gif because we gotta stay on brand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Well that’s it, I hope you enjoyed it. Again, I’d be grateful for additions, opinions, feedback, whatever. 

Thanks for reading :)

[softputridcentre]

I'm fucking devastated...

I wrote a blog reviewing AEW dynamite (19/02/20), it was in depth, humorous AND long as shit... I used my phones swipe gesture to open Chrome to fact check something in case I was remembering it wrong.. and with one fluid motion.........CLOSED TUMBLR, losing the fucking essay I'd typed AND wasted a good hour and a half on.... that's fucking it... I'm turning off motion gestures on this fucking phone.... back to having my icons you shit...

Short version of my review....

Matt har...Jackson wins the battle royals for the young Bucks who go on to face the title holders later in the night (currently Kenneth Omega 6 and Hangman Austin 3:16 Page, but they have a match with belts on the line later with Lucha Bros)

Also, Orange Cassidy gets freshly squeezed by the Bunny... some people would pay good money for that, you ungrateful orange!

_______________________________

Kris Statlander beats the piss out of Shanna (wearing hot Goku outfit) whilst "Booping" everybody in sight and causing me to propose to my TV screen. She said BOOP!

Post match, Nyla comes out for an interview with Tony Schiovone and runs down the locker room, especially Riho. Kris comes back from the locker room, boops the title, big swole comes out and gets shouty... refs break up none existing fight.

----------------------------------------

Jeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooon Moxley wins against Jeff Cobb, in the only disappointing match on the card. Technically sound but boring. Jeff looked strong but lost clean which doesn't look good, when hes Jerichos "hired assassin".

The inner Circle pile in and Dustin comes out and looks impressive plowing into the group, he gets overcome and the lights switch off... bah god that's gotta be kane!... nope... just Darby Allin... not disappointing, but I started watching wrestling in 97'... the lights went out, that meant hell fore and brimstone sunny jim!..

Derby swings his Skayeboard like a man possessed before wirelessly issuing a challenge to Sammy G for Revolution.

----------------------------------------

Kenneth and Page take on the Luchas in the most stunning display!. There aren't words for this kind of match.. everybody involved is a treat to behold, and Rey Fenix is on another level.. fluid as fuck! I've NEVER seen anyone run across the top rope to boot someone in the temple.

If you're reading this... WATCH THIS MATCH... just watch it!. Far from perfection, but entertaining as shit!

Kenny and Page take the W, and out come nick and Matt to celebrate. The Elite are facing off in two weeks, Bucks Vs the Drunk fucks. Adam Page seems unsure and drinks the audiences beer as he leaves... leaving kenny to make excuses to Nick and Matt.

-----------------------------------------

Main Event time and the Cage is being lowered and set for Wardlow Vs. Cody Rhodes.

Wardlow hair stays in it's silly little man bun for a while but eventually pops out of place to make him look like an emo warlord. Cody is thrown into the cage early on which busts him open (keeps the camera off him long enough for him to carve a big chunk of scalp off), wardlow dominates but Cody gets some offense in... at one point Rollercodester is thrown through the cage door and Arn Anderson is holding it as MJF (Best ever, seriously the man.. fuck off he is!), eggs him on to swing it hard into Cody... Arn teases a turn, but swings it hard into the face of the King of the $10000 bling! Cody re-enters the fray and gets nailed with MJFs Dynamote ring... he retrieved is and returned fire, causing MJF to climb the cage in disgust, Brabdy spanks his ass with a chair twice and Maximillion drops down to spark her out... however... he gets suckerpunched.

Cody gets the upper hand and climbs the enormous cage, and as he hits the top, there isnt even a SECOND, no hesitation, no fear, no considering... his second foot hits the metal pole top of the cage, and he moonsaults from the top of that fucker onto wardlow and covers him for the 3 count.

Cody celebrates as my man MJF realises that Cody has done it. He refrained from physical contact, he took his 10 lashes in the ring and he defeated Warslow in a cage match... in less than two weeks, MJF takes on his mentor. Cody Rhodes. Max plays this PERFECTLY. he is the Best heel the business has to offer right now. Quick witted, snarky and plays his part 24/7 on his Twitter.

Great show!.... besides the Mox misfire, I think it hit all the bases.

Notes: KEEP BRITT OFF OF MICROPHONES.

Sammy Guevara, you OK bruv? That Superkick was NASTY!

Hangman, Pint?

Nyla, have a mask made... that one off wish does you no favours!

Join Dark Order.

[jq37]

thoughts on this week's ep?

**spoilers for broadway brawl**

***Before we start, I remembered as I was typing this one of the important notes I lost from last week’s recap: Interesting that Christmas seemingly went off without a hitch. I expected Santa to come back into play somehow (like, someone would check on him to make sure Christmas was still on or he’d call them in to help or something) but he hasn’t, at least not yet.***

My guys, my guys, my guys. Was that something or was that something?

I think I am on record as saying that combat is my least favorite part of ttrpgs generally speaking because I’m here for the RP but when a combat episode shines it really freaking shines (see eg: that first combat ep of Bloodkeep where everyone went full Galaxy Brain except for Matt who couldn’t hit a single thing) and this is such a good example. This is easily a top five ep of the season for me, maybe top three so let’s get into it and break down why it was so awesome.

We start right where we left off with Titania and members of her court having come into the theater to beat the tar out of Misty mid-show.

Quick note: At the end of last ep, it was set up so that Misty was thrust on stage right after hearing the mirror was on stage which would place this fight right at the top of Act 2 but at the start of this ep, Brennan seems to indicate that it’s taking place during what would be the closing number. Which would make more sense but imagine you go see a play, the first act is super dope, and then the second act is an insane, minute long fight that’s pretty unconnected to the plot and then a buff, naked, beautiful man tells you the show is over and you should leave. Wild. Anyway.

Pixies with tommy guns in inherently funny.

So one of the things that makes this fight really great is the way it directly ties into the story in a way besides “These bad guys are in our way.” Misty is using this show as a part of her reincarnation spell so if the show is messed up, it fails and she’s on her last life. Brennan has a cool mechanic of making her roll death saves every round at a difficulty lower than her modifier (which is s/t crazy like 11) but that gets harder with damage done to her and performance checks failed by other players who decide to jump on stage. It’s a great way to make the battle feel like it has more personal stakes and it’s my fave original Brennan mechanic since the Family in Flames Sophie’s Choice situation.

(I love that the death save counter is changed for theater comedy/tragedy masks for this. Nice touch.)

Em, Esther, and Wally are also at the fight which is clutch.

Also, Sondheim is specifically here which is an insane detail to add just because.

WILD that no one knows what’s going on with the ritual initially because, as Lou almost does, getting all the civilians out is the smart move and it would COMPLETELY ruin Misty’s plans instantly.

Lou having Kingston take the stairs bc’s he’s 50+ years old and has no time for that nonsense has equal but opposite energy to him doing extra rolls for Fabian to do unnecessary parkour before a simple attack because Fabian’s Like That.

Murph fireblasts the hell out of Titania’s foot soldiers right off the bat from outside of counterspell range which is very cool.

“Give me a performance check for the cockroach.”

“You’re upstaging me bitch?”

Another great thing about this fight is that because of it’s theatrical nature, everyone’s RPing it more than a usual battle ep (or more intensely maybe is what I mean).

Titania hypnotizes Don Confetti and his goons into fighting for her.

“She doesn’t know she’s in a play but she does sing most of her dialogue which is helpful for you.” Titania is just Like That.

Pete drops an erupting earth and drops a sick 37 damage on those same minions Kug got.

I didn’t notice before but yeah, Ally does roll die like a f-ing beyblade champion.

Emily hearing Murph’s low key, offhand comments and cracking up is great.

“Get Sondheim!” (Emily and then Ally: WHAT?!)

Actual living dude Stephen Sondheim being involved in this fight is just so ridiculous and fun and crazy.

We go around to Misty’s turn and she has to beat a 28 (upped from 10) and she fails which feels worse than a normal failed death save somehow.

Lou, in a very good RP move, tells Pete to tell Misty to end the show so she can tell them not to so the group has a valid reason to not evacuate which is a thing they (or at least him and Ricky) would obviously want to do.

Sophie, the madwoman, jumps out of the balcony, grabs a costume, then runs on stage. Emily’s glee at being told that her grabbing the costume will give her advantage is great. She’s always trying to figure out how to make the most of her moves. She is the living embodiment of the concept of method to madness (which is from Hamlet since we’re talking Shakespeare today). 

Ox is constantly dying (Brennan!) but also it’s like, why was he even there before the fight started? I’ve never seen a non-service dog in a theater.

Ricky: Is this part of it?

Oh, forgot to mention that everything that happens on stage is kinda shielded by the Umbral Arcana so everyone watching thinks it’s part of the show, which is a cool plot detail.

Ricky gets fULLY NAKED (Emily, with perfect comic timing: Now do I roll with disadvantage?) and leaps into the fray. He casts Protection from Evil and Good on her which (1) He does by Magic Mike body-rolling on her while he’s naked and considering how much shorter she is that her raises some interesting questions about positioning and (2) is the most clutch use of this spell I’ve seen in a while. It’s a spell I always wanna take as a Paladin because it makes sense character-wise, but I’ve never been able to actually use it because we’re never fighting fiends, fae, or celestial.

Brennan’s dime change change reversal of the critic’s comments on Ricky’s body rolls when Zac re-rolls his 11 makes me glad I never had to face him in a debate team setting.

Ally: What’s Esther’s deal ;)/Brennan: *Esther’s Weapon Stats*

“Your only secret you’ve ever had in your life is that you have a crush on her.”

Wally has a beautiful singing voice and a working knowledge of Midsummer's which is wild.

Lou’s periodic, “My man”’s when Ally/Pete does something cool. He’s very dialed into being Kingston.

Ricky’s aura keeps everyone near him from being charmed and Misty saves everyone else w/ a nat 20 counterspell. Few things in D&D are more satisfying than a well executed counterspell.

Titania trying to get Pete to be her consort or something when he just over the super posh Priya is very funny.

“I mean between me and Sondheim, get Sondheim!”

“DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK TONIGHT?” (“We did have homework.”)

Anyway, Misty has one success now!

Misty tries to use puppet to get Titania to drop her crown and it doesn’t work. Brennan says the crown is Crown of Stars which I looked up and it’s actually a spell, not a physical crown, but I’m assuming he used the mechanical effects of the spell on a physical item.

Brennan doing all these musical/singing bits when he absolutely doesn’t have to. I love it.

I love Ricky and Sophie being the two martial fighting heavy hitters of the group. Like, the two fighters, having the spellcasters’ backs.

I hope the one kung fu fan in the back of the theater never sees another Broadway show again because he’s gonna be so disappointed. 

“I’m just so inspired by that beautiful penis.”

Murph, out of character, verbally acknowledging how insane what they’re doing is. I love when someone pauses in a game of D&D to just recite what’s currently happening out of context so everyone can appreciate how crazy it is. D&D. Gotta love it..

Emily and Siobhan have a quick conversation in the background about whether Sondheim did Les Mis or not (not, that’s Claude-Michel Schönberg) while Brennan and Murph are Ring nonsense.

I also was mildly suspicious of Alyssa so I’m glad Kingston checked her out.

The entire roast of Brennan when he’s selecting D6s is an instantly iconic D20 moment. I can’t do it justice. You kinda just have to see it.

“Someone call Wizards of the Coast!”

Em, Wally, and Alyssa go out when Titania puts out a huge spell that blinds Kug.

“Yummy, yummy, tastes like ass.”

On Misty’s next turn, she rolls a fail which makes it 2 failures to 1 success. Brennan mentions that a nat 1 counts as 2 failures and a nat 20 counts as 2 successes. I’m sure that won’t be relevant later because you can’t foreshadow things when dice rolls are completely random.

Misty fails on puppet again again and Titania goes full Wicked Witch of the West on her and starts Jonesing for those shoessss.

Emily’s Emily(tm) move of the session is doing a flying leap at Titania, hitting her with a stunning strike and having Brennan retract the Box off Doom he was pulling out because she can’t save when she’s stunned. She just plummets out of the sky.

Don Confetti respecting the sacrament of marriage as he goes full Opera ghost and tries to garrote Sophie.

Ricky (still naked) grabs the crown from Titania, tosses it to Misty, and, with some improv and a good charisma roll, makes the show suddenly make sense to the very confused but entertained audience.

I’m so glad that Murph decided to turn into a bear and that they made the Winter’s tale ref. I should have had faith in Brennan and Siobhan, the theater nerds. Exit pursued by a bear y’all.

Lou and Emily bonding over being proud of their die for rolling well when they lend it out for a big roll.

Really wish Pete had wild magic surged in this fight. Just to add that extra bit of chaos. 

With a very good turn (no damage taken, no performances failed) Misty only has to avoid snake eyes to get through this turn. She leapfrogs over that low bar and rolls a nat 20, instantly fulfilling her win condition. At this point, the play is superfluous and Titania is still down.

“Brennan lost and now he knows reddit is gonna eat his ass.”

OK, remember how I said earlier that Misty seems like the kind of character you nudge a little temptation at just to spice things up? Yeah, her killing Titania and getting the crown of the Seelie Fae makes me a liiiitle apprehensive, but we’ll see how that turns out.

“I killed my queen! This is America we don’t have royalty here.”

“Bear, I don’t know who you are, but take me on your back, let me ride on stage.” —creator of West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim

Misty charms the critic at the show to make sure they get a good review which is such a fae thing to do.

Kingston’s clearly not loving attacking Don and Co. post “real fight” what with his whole Do No Harm thing (well, that’s Dr’s but same principle applies I assume) is a good character detail. For that matter, so is Ricky just taking Titania’s crown and not beheading her which he super could have done while she was down but it would have been very incongruous with everything else about him.

Brian “This isn’t Loony Tunes” Murphy throws Sondheim as a projectile weapon at a pixie who snaps the pixie’s neck and then does a monologue at the audience.

I love it when someone rolls low on an insight check and Brennan gives them useless info and then they repeat it in their character’s voice.

4 mins from the end of the ep, Siobhan realizes there are two Perrys in this story for the first time and has a bigger reaction to that than almost everything else in this ep except her nat 20.

Ricky looks for costume faun legs to cover his fully out dick instead of costume pants or even his own pants.

Misty starts glowing with reincarnation energy and she runs into her dressing room for privacy. Also, she still super hasn’t told anyone what’s going on. (ALSO, assuming she’s gonna make the world think she died, it’s gonna be wild for the company of the show to have their leading lady put on the performance of her life and then die on opening night).

“Who am I to refuse a crown when it’s placed so deftly upon my head?”

You know that behind the scenes thing where Brennan is like, “Yeah, I knew Siobhan was gonna steal that book,”? I got some of those vibes during the crown scene.

The implications of what Misty did are gonna be left until next ep but Brennan says something about her creating her own court and it looks like she’s recruiting followers in the promo. IDK how I feel about that (these stories tend to have great power--especially tied to powerful magical items--as a corrupting force) but I am very excited to see how it goes down! See you then!

[jeawrites]

RD AU Draft: 1

(Considering this a draft because its unedited and I haven’t added everything in yet- but feel free to read it! The finished part will most likely be uploaded on ao3 but I’ll be sure to post a link to it on here--) Anthony could remember his years of playing derby clear as day. He could remember the fun he had, the friends he made, and the genuine experience of being part of a team that helped him become who he was now. He wanted nothing more than to help others find that experience, especially his friends now.

But, Tyler was difficult to convince.

“I’m telling you Tyler, it’s a great idea! Think about it- you’ll get to hit people and roller skate! It’s, like, two of your favorite things!” he encouraged while grabbing a pair of skates from the shelf. “Plus- then you have a reason to own a pair of your own skates,” he added as he examined the pair and then put them in front of the tall male on the other side of the counter.

Tyler rolled his eyes a bit and grabbed the pair, putting down two dollars on the counter and shrugging. “I don’t think It’s as good as it sounds,” he responded, “Plus ain’t it a girl’s sport?” Anthony shook his head. “Hell no! Its an anybody sport! I played it,” he stated proudly. “Even more reason to believe its a girls sport-” he laughed as he got a gentle smack to the arm. “Come on, please? Just come watch a bout, just one. I promise you’ll change your mind.”

The silence from the other told Anthony he was considering it, which made him happy. He got even happier when he heard the sigh. “Fine. One bout, but if I don’t like it we’re never discussing this again. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“But… There is one more thing,” he mumbled. He sent him a look, more of a glare than anything, and sighed again. “What?” he asked. “I need you to help me convince Evan to go too.” A groan left Tyler and he turned his head to glance around, spotting the mentioned man at the concessions counter. “No,” he looked to Anthony, plead in his voice. “Look, I love Evan, he’s probably one of my closest friends, after you, but he is the worst person to convince into doing things,” he complained. “Oh come on, Tyler. I already talked to him about joining- I just need you to help me convince him into actually watching a bout.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No-”

“I’ll give you a free snack coupon!”

Tyler begrudgingly followed Anthony over to where Evan was sitting. His arms crossed and the Canadian look up right in time to see them. “Ah! Bout time you made it, Ty, I was starting to get worried,” he laughed softly. “Worried about what? Some idiot kidnapped me?” he joked back, and Evan rolled his eyes. “No, that you somehow made a new friend to hangout with,” he fired and Anthony snickered as Tyler fought back a smile to try and look offended. Then, he sat down across from Evan at the table and Anthony sat by Tyler. “Who you got on the counter?” Evan asked, not looking back and instead focusing on tying his skates. “Janet,” Anthony answered back, “She’s pretty mad about it.”

Evan chuckled and nodded a small bit before sitting up straight and grabbing his drink. “So, what’d you need, Anthony? You don’t usually leave your work just to talk, at least when its so busy,” he pointed out. “I want you to go to a bout with me and Tyler,” he stated, not wasting time. Evan blinked. “A bout?” he asked. “A derby game,” Anthony corrected, after realizing that the other wouldn’t know what a bout was. “Oh,” he mumbled, messing with the straw in his cup before he nodded some. “Is this about you wanting me to join that team your making?” he followed up. Anthony nodded firmly. “Yeah! I already got Tyler to say maybe!”

Evan glanced from Tyler to Anthony, his brows furrowing as he took a sip from his drink and signaled for him to keep talking. “Come on, Evan, think about it,” Anthony edged, “You get to hit people and go fast in a circle- its kinda like hockey!” The Canadian then huffed after he swallowed. “I’m not telling you again- it's nothing like hockey,” he pointed out and then glanced off. “But… I guess I can go to one game with you two and check it out,” he decided, nodding to confirm it. “Only on one condition, though” he quickly added. Anthony nodded, already celebrating getting Evan to agree; “Yes, anything!” Evan chuckled and looked at Tyler. “Ty’s gotta wear an outfit I choose for him at the game.”

Tyler’s face paled and he glared, already knowing the outfit he was talking about. “No.”

Anthony blinked, confusion washing over his face as he glanced to Tyler, and then Evan. “What?” he asked.

“Ty’s gotta wear an outfit I want him to wear at the game,” he repeated, not breaking eyecontact with Tyler, his grin widening. “No- Anthony, come on! Don’t let him do that- we can get someone else!” he pleaded. Anthony looked between the two again before his gaze just focused on Tyler. “Come on Tyler,” he mumbled, nudging him gently. “Why don’t you just do what he wants?” Tyler glared at him. “No! Cause I know what he wants and he is not getting it!”

--

Tyler couldn’t believe he was letting Evan choose what he wore. He stared at Evan as he rummaged through his closet excitedly, looking for one specific box Tyler knew he had and hated it. “Why do you even keep it?” he asked. “It’s stupid,” he added in a grumble. Evan paused, taking a moment to look back at him with a grin. “It was a gift to you, and if you aren’t going to keep it, I am.”

He turned and Tyler fell silent, though his thoughts were basically loud enough for Evan to hear.

Finally, Evan grinned and pulled out a large box. It had taken some moving of things and random objects, but here it was. He moved to the bed and placed it down happily, letting Tyler reluctantly open it and groan at the sight. “Well? Hurry up and change! Anthony will be here any minute,” Evan chuckled and moved to leave the room.

Looking at the clothes in the box, Tyler sighed and got started. He took a hat off the top and placed it onto the bed. The hat was stupid, it had supidly large, blue cat ears on it that made Tyler cringe. Then, he pulled out a shirt. It was hot pink and had a paw print design on it. There was also a pair of hot pink pants with a similar design to match.

Then, to top it all off was a jacket with a realistic print of a cat's body.

He was going to look fucking rediculoud.

He hated his life too much sometimes.

Regardless, he changed into the clothes and walked out of the room, fighting back his embarrassment. Though, it all returned when he got to the living room and Evan saw him nearly immediately.

“Oh my god-” the Canadian snickered and then laughed, bringing a hand to cover his mouth. “You look so-so,” he couldn’t get the words out. Tyler rolled his eyes and flipped him off. “Whatever, fuck you.”

--

Anthony had, had a similar reaction to Evan’s, but he got over it quickly in place of his own excitement.

The entire trip to the skate park was about how much they were going to enjoy the bout, how much fun they were going to have. Even after they had gotten inside and seated it was still just him blabbering on.

“They’re so-so cool! I promise you’ll both enjoy this and-”

Tyler put his hand on Anthony’s mouth. “Okay, we get it. Calm down, dude,” he mumbled. After getting a nod, he removed his hand. Then, he jumped in his seat after hearing a voice. “Tyler?” he turned his head, fear raising in hm. More people he knew meant more people not letting him live down the fact he wore this outfit, meaning more jokes, meaning- wait.

“Luke?” he asked, snickering.

The man infront of him grinned and crossed his arms. “The one and only,” he chuckled. “What’re you doin’ here? I didn’t know you liked derby,” he asked, curious. Tyler shrugged. “I don’t know if I do. My friend dragged me out here to watch. What are you doing here and-” he giggled, “With bunny ears?” Luke blinked and then chuckled. “These?” he gestured up, “Aren’t mine. I stole them from Ryan. He came with me this time, I usually regular the bouts.”

“No way is Ryan here,” he spoke, genuinely surprised. “Oh, yeah. It's his first time to one of these too,” he explained, “I wanted to get him introduced to a new sport.” Tyler nodded, and glanced over to his friends, who were both sort of looking at him in confusion. “Oh, right. Luke,” he looked at him again, smiling some, “This is Evan and Anthony, my friends. You and Ryan should come sit with us.” Luke smiled at the other two, getting polite smiles in turn. “Sounds great!” he agreed. “I’ll go find, Ry and tell him we’re over here,” he added and turned to walk away.

Anthony grew more excited for the bout.

--

“Keep going!” Tyler shouted, watching as the girl quickly moved her way out of the group and onto the turn. The crowd cheered excitedly as well. “Yeah! You kick their asses, AnnihilateHer!” he shouted, gripping the edge of his seat. He was having a better time then he thought he would.

Evan watched the girl quickly move her way around one that tried to stop her, his eyes wide in amazement and his smile wide. “Good job!” he shouted, hoping his encouragement would reach her as she sped a corner.

Tyler watched her with careful eyes and then he glared at the ref who called her, managing to hear it was a backblock- like the eighth one called to night (not on just her). “She wasn’t anywhere near her back! Open your fucking eyes!” he yelled at the ref and he kicked the wall in front of him. That was about the seventh time he’s done that.

Anthony laughed gently. He was glad his friends were enjoying themselves. “I told you both you’d like it,” he teased as the jam ended. Tyler looked at him, his eyes wide and his grin crazily wide. “Dude this is sick! It’s so fucking cool- I can’t believe they’d allow a sport like this,” he laughed. “It’s wild,” he chuckled. “You’re wild,” Evan snickered, “You’ve kicked that wall several times, and I think you’re voice is loud enough the refs hear you the last few times. Control yourself,” he teased and got a punch to the arm in turn. “Shut up and let me have this,” he stated, but there wasn’t any spite or sarcasm, he was still smiling and having a good time. This was fun!

He looked to Ryan and Luke, who were in a similar state, though Luke was calmer due to having seen this all live so many times.

“And she just slammed into her-” Ryan exclaimed, hands flailing as he tried to explain. “Yeah, I know, Ry. I saw it,” Luke laughed softly and he looked at him with wide eyes full of awe. “They didn’t flinch, Luke! That’s amazing! This is really cool-” he looked to the track as a new pack formed. “Can you imagine if I did that?”

Anthony’s head turned to Ryan quickly at that. “You can,” he answered him. Ryan paused and looked back, curiosity in his eyes. “What?” he asked. “You can totally do that. In fact, I’m making a men’s team- if you want to play,” he offered and Ryan stared before grinning wide. “Maybe, I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll do it,” Luke followed, gaining eyes. “I’ll totally play for your team. You should too, Ry,” he looked at him, smiling. “It’ll be fun!”

Tyler looked at Ryan, nodding. “I was the first to join, can confirm it's very fun-” “You didn’t want to join,” Anthony cut in and Tyler looked at him with a glare. “I was the first you asked which makes me first to join,” he stuck his tongue out at him, and Anthony stuck his out in turn before they both chuckled. “I was second to join then!” Evan declared, snickering.

Luke looked at Ryan as he spoke. “I was third. You wanna be fourth Ry? You wanna do what those awesome girls are doin?” he asked, encouraging him to join. Ryan bit his lip lightly, thinking it over before he nodded. “Yeah… Yeah! I do! I wanna do that shit too! Consider me on the team! Whenever it's actually made anyways,” he grinned.

Anthony couldn’t believe his team was actually beginning to form.

[shinymooncolor]

Hi all!

As usual, I owe all of this to the wonderful world created by @lumosinlove. 🙏🏻

I love Kris so much. Single dad, hockey star is a mood. Apologies in advance. 😇

Enjoy!

Sweater weather chats #2

Kris joins a super secret club. Lily gets emotional. We get introduced to the bat cave. Kris is a cautionary tale for the rookies. Or that’s what Nado days. Kris is also an honorary mom. Celeste reminisces. Kasey, Nado and Kuny babysits. Everybody loves Remus. Ava wants a pony. Natalie has plans. SO MUCH BROMANCE.

—————

Emotional support group and Remus 🤩🥰🏒:

Friday 3.32 pm

NatNat added Kris to the group.

Allison: do I spy a new member? Welcome to the dark side, Kris. The rules are simple - this is a safe space for us to discuss our men, babies and other related topics.

Lucia: also, never tell the boys what happens at brunch. 😁

Celeste: welcome Kris. We thought you’d enjoy coming to brunch with us - Ava is always welcome.

Kris: woah? What is this? Shit. I’m honored. Also Remus? Wtf.

Remus: hi kris yeah I don’t know how I was allowed in, but it’s nice. 😁

NatNat: well Dumo might be the honorary dad but Kris is totally the honorary mom on the team. He wiped Gatorade off of Leo’s face last game. It was adorable 😍😍😍

Kris: well James did unscrew the top as a prank, not actually sure it’s a prank if you do it every game. And Leo didn’t realize. And he’s weird about not taking his blocker off. Had to help the kid out. 😆

Allison: well it made us enroll you in our secret and sacred club. Welcome! 🤩

NatNat: i forgot to send this on Wednesday!! Baby Russian with baby puppies

*kuny puppy pic*

GingerLily: awwww he looks so happy. James said he’s been depressed he cannot train this week. I love this. 😍

Anyaismyname: my baby. I knew him from he was 16. Such a sweet boy.

Kris: sweet? Are we talking about the same Kuny? He taught Ava to cuss a ref and last time the media asked her what she thought of the game and my playing, she parroted that. I had a trending tag for a month after that on Twitter😔

NatNat: I’m not condoning it but it was hilarious. I cried. But seriously he adopted a cat and named her Aya and they send me selfies with her every 7 minutes. They built her a castle in their ridiculous bat cave game room. 😅👑🐱

Remus: the bat cave is awesome. They’ve got pro surround sound and all. And a real slushee machine. 🤖 also kris, coach want you all back on the ice in 10.

NatNat: yeah haha kase is excited to go for halo night. Apparently they’ve got some sort of new VR stuff for practicing as well. 🏒🏒🏒

Celeste: Kris, don’t worry about the curse words. Marc spent three months yelling fuck at everything after Logan accidentally taught him. They get over it quick and the fans love you even more after that - haven’t you been on the most eligible list for your entire career? Also, didn’t Anya tell Kuny’s mom?

Anyaismyname: da, and believe me, Scolding work better in Russian. And I promised her to look out for her boy.

Kris: thanks guys, I know. I was just shocked. She’s my baby and sometimes I just can’t handle how quick she grows... it’s not fair... and yeah, apparently a single dad with a travel heavy job is eligible. Weird.... also - the boys’ game room is amazing and they did set up a my little pony game for her last time on the projector. Be there in three Re!!! 🏃‍♂️

GingerLily: awww I cant believe she was a baby when I first met her. She grows sooo quick! 😍

Kris: well it’s you soon! Good luck - you think you know what love feels like but. Damn, a baby just changes things. ☺️

GingerLily: we’re starting on the nursery next week and I can’t wait. James is hopeless with tools though but we’ve decided on a color theme at least 🥰🥰🥰

Celeste: mmh, that is always a big moment. I remember when I was pregnant with Adele, Pascal was still just settling into the Lions and we’d already moved twice, but something changed when we started working on the nursery. It got real then - he didn’t get the puck theme he wanted but nevertheless, I think that was when he really realized he was about to become a father 😍

NatNat: awwwww, can’t even imagine you two without your babies 😁

Celeste: me neither, honey, me neither. 😉

Friday, 4.38 pm

Kris: Natalie do you think we could find a puppy for Ava? We could house train it during off season and she’s been begging for a puppy for a while and i really want one too and hopefully with a puppy the “I want a pony” phase can be forgotten! :)

NatNat: of course!!! Also shouldn’t you be at training?

Kris: We finished 5 minutes ago. :) also thanks for cheering Kuny up, he was allowed to do stretches today.

NatNat: oh god. Forget the time out here. Is kase done too?

Kris: yeah but he’s currently unavailable. Something about hug a goalie day *pic of kasey and Leo, on the ice under a mountain of players*

GingerLily: 🤦🏽

Celeste: on another note my lovelies. I would love to host brunch next Sunday! We have full attendance - Elsa is visiting from Sweden! :) please let me know how many babies you’re bringing.

Sunday 7.03 am

Kris: hi Celeste. I’m really sorry to do this last minute but ava’s mom has cancelled again and I can’t get a sitter this late. I’d love to come for brunch next time though.

Celeste: oh my dear. Bring her. It’s absolutely no problem.

NatNat: hey kris. Kasey is going to nado and Kuny and he says they’re happy to babysit. Also he wants to know why you and Remus are invited to brunch. Don’t tell him anything. 😉😉😉

Kris: oh I don’t want to be a problem they probably don’t want a 4-year old to disturb their halo game...😬

NatNat: it’s not a problem at all :) (also need kase to practice - not getting any younger here 😏🤩)

Kris: well if it’s really no problem I know Ava would love to spend time with them. :) also totally rooting for baby blizzards soon!

———-

Blizzard created a new group: Babysitting

Blizzard added RussianGod, Nadotheman and KrisVolley

Blizzard: hey guys. Quick change of plans. Ava is hanging out with us today. Kris is going to brunch with the girls?! Said we’d be happy to spoil baby munchkin and teach her more Russian curse words

RussianGod: ok. Can we eat cookie? Also no bad words. Don’t want more yelling from Anya. She scary.

Blizzard: season diet Kuny. Oreos are only for Ava. And isn’t Anya like 5.2?

RussianGod: nado is still sleeping. But we can go to park and meet ladies. They love single dad. But Anya is little but scary. Have you not see how she keep sergei in check?

KrisVolley; you are not using my baby to meet ladies. Haha oh never thought of that. Anya is always nice to me 😂

KrisVolley: Here are the ground rules gentlemen!!!!

1) no begging - you need to say no and stick with it, unless she’s crying properly don’t give in to her. She hissy cries when she wants things her way

2) not too much sugar and candy alright? (Looking at you Kuny)

3) Kuny and nado can’t use her as a ploy to ensnare women.

4) do NOT teach her any more Russians words unless they’re good, safe and cute words. The press still hounds me from the time you taught her to cuss a ref....

5) have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Nadotheman: Morning boys. Also happy to babysit. But tHaNkS fOR aSkInG kase... 👍🏻 also @KrisVolley:

1) how the hell are we supposed to say no to that face? No idea how you made such a beautiful baby.

2) no problem. (Totally lying to you)

3) we would never use our baby niece in such a despicable way 😳 also it was one time and we can’t help that we are irresistible to baby-crazy ladies.

4) she can only scold a ref. According to Kuny totally safe and good words. Don’t believe what Sergei or Sunny says. Or the press.

5) so don’t knock up a fan at 18? Alright man got it.

KrisVolley: ....

Nadotheman: just keeping it real. You’re a cautionary tale for the rookies man. But your baby is cute. And you do a great job bro! 💪🏻

KrisVolley: I’m a what?? And thanks Nado. 😊

Blizzard: When you’re done with your moment.... I’m picking her up in five, can Nat go with you to Dumo’s? Ava and I will go have brunch at the bat cave and have an awesome time. And don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on the boys.

KrisVolley: thanks Blizzard. Good practice as well 😉

Kuny: 👀👀👀👀 baby blizzard????

Blizzard: alright calm down m8. We’re not even married (no judging kris)

Nadotheman: whatever you say bro. You gotta make a baby with that girl - she swooned at family skate. Also we all saw you makin heart eyes at the Brady bunch. 😆😆😆😆

Blizzard: they’re adorable and this conversation ends here. We’re outside now Kris. Also don’t encourage Nat. I’ve got a plan. 😬

——-

Nado: Kuny. Kuny. Is it baby safe? They’re here in 15 minutes.

Kuny: why you text me? I’m next door.

Kuny: also yes is fine. Maybe get bra down. It been in fan for 3 days

Nado: you’re the tall one. Get it down.

Kuny: I not put it there.

Nado: fine you lazy jerk. I’ll get it down.

Kuny: 😘

Nado: fuck off. But I love you too bro.

—-

Until next time, my lovelies 🥰

Always open for ideas, prompts, constructive criticism!

Also - does hug a goalie day exist? I think it should.

[ask-iamnotanalicorn]

Alicornis Imitato Contest Winner!

FIRST: I am now 30. WHOOOO BIRTHDAY!!! (Gotta remember to update my ponysona ref sheet XD; It’s like TWO YEARS OLD)

SECOND: 

I promised to announce the winner of the Alicornis Imitato Contest on the 13th (and I did! Just... not publicly. It was on my Discord shhhh)  (NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS THE FANWORK CONTEST; THAT ONE GOES UNTIL AUG 31!)

This is the contest where people submitted their idea for alicornis imitatus like Salespitch, and I would pick my favorite to be a CANON CHARACTER in “I Am Not An Alicorn!” It was a tough decision, but the winner iiiiiis…

WILLOW RESIN by JOHNDOESTUDIOS (aka Jaydee!)

I plan to draw her OC soon and she will show up in the comic eventually. But for now, enjoy her excellent entry!

Name: Willow Resin

Species: Alicornus Imitato

Occupation: Ceramicist

Color: turquoise/aqua, with a “blond” mane and tail

Willow is nice, but she gets very focused on her work and is often scatterbrained when working on a project. This leads to lots of tail-tripping, both hers and others. She likes plants but forgets to water them when she’s too focused on a project. She wants a pet bird, just a small one, that she can name sponge.

~

My hometown has had a long history of unicorns and pegasi working together. We make pottery and ceramics which are used mostly in Canterlot. I am proud to say that not only are we commissioned by several stores in that area, and other places around Equestria, but we also are commissioned by the royal palace. You would not BELIEVE how many ceramic roof tiles, floor tiles, and dish sets we have had to replace, it has been attacked so many times! I just don’t know how that place is still standing! Of course I don’t really understand a lot of things as I have never left my town. I think that I have gotten ahead of myself, my name is Willow Resin, and, at least according to my mom, I am something very special.

My town is the town of Basin Ridge. It has a long history of the ceramic arts, it is in the perfect location. The town is at the base of a cliff and the top of the cliff is a spring that comes from a clay base, the pegasi fly to the top of the cliff and push the clay slurry down one chute/streambed/river. It then falls to the town below, landing in the collection fields, where the clay and water separates. The different layers of clay that separate out are used for different things; the finer top layers are for the really fine china and porcelain, the next layers gong down are less fine, and get more coarse, those are used for more hoof-building projects, larger statues and such. Once the collection ponds have settled, the unicorns separate the layers and the pegasi help carry the contained clay to the proper areas. Then the real work begins.

Unicorns are the main ceramic artists here; they use their magic to form the clay, but I, I have a disadvantage. These are very specific, advanced spells. They are very involved, from spinning the wheel while pulling the clay, its too hard for me, my magic isn’t strong enough, and my wings aren’t strong enough to carry and help move the clay. I have a personal reason for wanting to be here too, my Father was the master of the head studio here. I have grown up playing between these wheels like the trees in a forest, I have spent my whole life in this art. I have adapted it and myself to be able to accomplish what I need to do.

I have to balance the clay, even it, smooth it and decorate it all by hoof, I can only do the pulling spell, I even have to kick the wheel myself. The other unicorns can do this really awesome spell that spins the wheel, and forms and decorates the clay ALL AT THE SAME TIME AND THEY CAN DO LIKE FIVE AT THE SAME TIME. Which is really nice when we have a new order of roof tiles, which aren’t done on the wheel, BUT STILL its really cool!!!  I can only do one at a time, but I make it the best that I can.

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Extra Monologue:

             “Of all the pegasi that fly to the top of the clay cliffs, my father noticed my mother.

              “All the pegasi carry down the clay from the cliff every day, it is placed in the holding pond to sift it for quality of grain. All the unicorns in the workshop go and sort the clay and gather it, (its actually kind of a long process I won’t bore you with the details) there are several of these collection ponds, each pond is for a year and they rotate through them. Everyone gets their clay from these ponds. There are a few, usually the masters, who have smaller collection ponds, they take extra time to sift the clay and sort it. They can get very different colors of slip clay that way and make new works and patterns. My father was the master of the workshop, so of course he had his own collection ponds. He used these ponds as an excuse to talk to my mother, he convinced her to gather clay from specific places on the cliff and bring it only to him, this way he got to talk to her multiple times a day, instead of just once a day, when all the other pegasi came back. Eventually she figured out that he just wanted to talk to her.

               “My father was the master of the workshop for a very long time. He created many new designs and made many new spells just for decorating and forming the clay, these spells are still used today. I have been able to learn three of his paint-pattern spells, well they are the simple lest ones, as I am really not good at magic, but they are still very important to me, I consider those spells some of my greatest accomplishments. He died when I was little; I miss him every day, but I still wanted to get into the workshop he worked in. I barely passed the timed test, making a full piece in a day, BUT I DID IT. My mother is so proud. I have spent the last few years studying and creating, but now I find it hard to be taken seriously, not from my looks, but because of my heritage. Everyone keeps trying to give me things, like my father’s old studio, full access to the archives, everything is given to me. But I am trying to earn it.  That’s why I’m moving, I’m going to make my own studio, my own projects, my own ideas. I have already learned everything that I can from my father’s works, and the old studios.

               “I am ready to make my mark.”

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Thank you to everyone who submitted their awesome entries! YOU’RE ALL GREAT AND I’M SORRY I CAN ONLY PICK ONE! 

And don’t forget, you can still enter

Deadline: August 31st!