#I did research ok
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day 1421
#uh just a heads up if you expand the tags to see all there's. a lot. very long#amphibian#frog#poison dart frog#based on my most popular frog to date (day 651)#inspired by everyone pointing out what they think it looks like#here's a fun secret fact the original guy is actually a phantasmal poison dart frog (Epipedobates tricolor)#(according to the original artists title of the drawing)#not Anthony's poison arrow frog (Epipedobates anthonyi)#i feel too awkward to really point it out though because they look the exact same. i cannot tell if there is a difference#im half convinced the same frog was just discovered and named twice#its very curious btw if you go on the (english) wikipedia page for either species it doesn't mention the other#while hereptiles.info (no idea if this is a trustworthy site) lists both names as common names for the same frog (incorrectly??)#while inaturalist lists them as two different frogs. curiously with tricolor having wayyyyy fewer photos#ok anyway that's my rant i went on a whole journey trying to figure out if these are the same frog or not and i have no answer#i did some more 'research' and i am more confused. some sources seem to imply they are now considered the same species ( e. tricolor)#i think my conclusion is i am willing to agree the drawing looks more like e. anthonyi. it seems like tricolor is generally less vibrant re#and the white is darker and more green?#i feel like thumblr should stop me from typing more in the tags at this point this is a whole essay#at this point i am failry convinced this is specifically the Santa Isabel frog. isthat the real subspecies or morph or whatever#or just the name pet sites are using to sell it??#i even found some sources (frog selling websites) refering to it as “Epipedobates Anthonyi 'Santa Isabel' Phantasmal Poison Dart Frog” lol#Anyways if you read this far hi. species are confusing. i am not a frog scientist#the first few tags are like an hour old now i just kept trying to figure it out and adding more tags
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🐎‼️
Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls @brawngp2009
#VAQUERO CHECO!!!!#the entire time I was drawing this I was thinking about my lestappen cowboy au I’ll never escape it fr#can’t believe I had a chestappen moment in that au before I even fucked with it#I just knew subconsciously…#ok I did actually try to do research and look into poncho patterns and their meanings for vaqueros#bc i remember as a child my friends dad had like. their grandfathers poncho and it was a whole thing???#and i remember he explained the pattern and what it meant to us???#and I couldn’t remember if that was like. just personal for that guy or if everyone’s pattern meant something#so I tried to look into it so I could make this one mean smth but I couldn’t find any reliable source??? just like Clint Eastwood movies#anyways. sorry for the flop with that if anyone is sitting here being like why this pattern#anyways shoutout to Mr Ortegon#was thinking of u while making this ‼️#f1#formula 1#f1blr#f1 fanart#formula one#f1 art#annie’s art#formulanni#formula one fanart#formula 1 fanart#sergio checo pérez#checo perez#sp11#cowboy art
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the reason bway javid got that subtle somethin somethin is because jeremy jordan and ben fankhauser were both in theatre college at the same school at i believe the same time… for a year i think.. and as someone who’s witnessed what a BFA acting program does to men who r not in a relationship, and the production casts them as best friends, well. let’s just say. they got somethin somethin.
#and it’s always a straight guy and a gay guy too.#the straight guy will start dressing like the gay guy.#it’s just how it goes#informing the masses bc i think enough of the newsies fandom has not been to college yet#newsies#livesies#javid#javey#there were definitely other gay ppl at ithaca but for the point of the post. ok.#i was also going to say other things but then did some research and found out jeremy was a senior when ben was a freshman so. held my tongue
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based on this post by @mortalkcmbat
#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#sub zero#bi han#kuai liang#mk tundra#this is an edit#i finally get to say my favorite phrase ever#the tattoo removal surgery was a success#ok so tag edit after posting#the mk wiki says that oniro and Lin Kuei Grandmaster from mythologies are different#however in my heart that is his name#also for a while the wiki seemed to have incorrectly identified him as oniro? instead of the guy from the cartoon. so that was in my brain#but i didn't double check before posting this lol#also when researching it rn it seems a lot of people have made this mistake too#where did it originate.......#if anyone has info on this let me know#but with this edit i wanted to specify a name to emphasize that this ISNT the same universe as mk1#the grandmaster is not THEIR father#he didnt adopt smoke either etc all he potentially did was kidnap his sons#at least that was the case in the og timeline#the grandmaster is instead sektors father as is established in mk9#SECOND EDIT i think its just because they were both the lin kuei grandmasters but oniros the only one that had a name#mystery solved um maybe#ok bye thank you
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My old Spirited Away AU (Each Matsu can fuse with the yokai to make the rightmost figure. Todomatsu/Totty is Chihiro/Sen)
#if anyone ever wants to talk about one of my aus. i love doing that.#osomatsu-san#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#i know i did just post an old image hoard but this is ok right. right#it was originally meant to be a fanfic but i didnt get to it#anyway i know its mostly the hkw designs but i was proud of it and had fun with it#especially reverse engineering and researching the og yokai and stuff. it was fun#my art
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gosh, these prompts are just so fluffy, it makes me want to cry! 🥹
maybe these for whoever you're feeling in the moment:
❛ what, am i not allowed to look at you? ❜
❛ seeing you happy is all that matters. ❜
A/N: First, you asked for this so long ago, I'm sorry it took so long! I wanted to explore a lil reunion for Rosie and Grace after (one of the times) his plane goes down and he makes it back. I did a smidge of research for this, but to be clear, this isn't the time he lands in Russia that we see in the show. This is an earlier mission where he crash lands in France - p422 (? I think?) in Masters of the Air if you want to read more. I tweaked the dialogue of that second prompt just a tiny bit, hope that's okay. These Heartbeats Clear Masterlist
Seven. Wounded.
When Robert Rosenthal opens his eyes, for a moment he doesn't remember where he is. There's a brief unsettling moment of sheer panic where he tries to get his bearings, tries to sit up and tries to remember what's happened to him in the last 48 hours.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down." A voice says. American. He sighs in relief.
An unfamiliar worried face swims into his vision. "Major Rosenthal?"
"What--" His throat hurts, his entire body hurts, and he stops trying to talk.
"You've been asleep for almost two days."
"Where am I?"
"Please, try to relax. You're safe. You're in Oxford."
Now that he hears the words, he remembers loud, urgent voices, he remembers flashing lights and the feeling of being manhandled around. It doesn't do much to quell the fear rising in his gut. "My crew."
"They're fine. Some wounded, but everyone's going to be okay." She moves around the bed with quick, sure steps, checking his chart before meeting his eyes again. "You've got a broken arm and a few broken ribs, Major. Now that you're awake, we'd just like to monitor you for a few hours and then we can talk about a transport back to your base."
He nods, thanking her, and she smiles before disappearing down a corridor, leaving him to his thoughts. His mind is slow, fuzzy, but there's one thought blaring like an alarm louder than anything else - he needs to find a way to call Grace.
He swore to her a long time ago that he'd never give her a reason to think he wasn't coming back. He has no idea if anyone knows he and his crew are here.
He also has a panicked thought that he won't be able to fly again, not if they were helped the French resistance. He forces himself to take deep breaths and tries to beat back the anxiety fluttering in his ribcage.
"Rosie?" A familiar voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and he tries to sit up before pain laces up his spine, making him wince.
"Croz?"
Harry's worried face peeks around the curtain. "Jesus." He says, making Rosie wonder what he must look like.
"What are you doing here?"
"We got a call. Wasn't going to let you guys walk back to Thorpe Abbotts, was I?" He takes a few steps closer, scraping a chair closer to the bed before sitting down. He looks exhausted. "I volunteered to come get you."
"How long--"
"It's been five days since the mission." Harry rubs a hand over his face. "Can't begin to tell you how lucky you were, Rosie."
It starts to hit him, how close he was to not coming back. He doesn't even remember the plane going down, not entirely. He has no memory of being rescued. He feels strangely guilty. He's the one that's supposed to lead and help his crew when he can.
"Have you talked to a doctor?" Harry asks.
Rosie shakes his head. "Not yet, just a nurse. Obviously I can't do much with this--" He struggles to shrug with his injured arm in a sling.
"It'll be fine. Desk duty until you're well."
"Croz, you know I hate--"
"You can't fly like that, Rosie. Technically you should be pulled from duty altogether."
Rosie clenches his jaw, takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down. It's not Harry's call, even though he knows he's right. He's going to do everything he can to get back in the seat again, even if he has to get demoted to do it.
.
He discharges himself so he can leave with his crew and with Crosby and hitch a ride back to base. The doctor fixes him with a stern look as he does it, but he must see the determination on Rosie's face, and just tells him to take it easy for the next few weeks.
Fat chance of that.
"Stop looking at me like that." He grouses to Harry as they bounce along the road back to Thorpe Abbotts, Rosie biting back a wince with grit teeth as the road jostles his muscles uncomfortably.
"I'm not looking at you like anything."
Harry has long stopped trying to convince Rosie of anything, just like Rosie has stopped trying to tell him to get more sleep or eat more. They're all just doing whatever they can to survive at this point. The cost of it all is secondary.
"I'll save the lecture for Grace." He mutters.
Rosie's head snaps up. "Is she--"
"Worried sick? Probably, but you know her. Once she knew you were alive, she went from worried to furious."
"Not like I had any say in the matter," Rosie counters, voice dry. "Didn't try asking them not to shoot at us, though."
Harry smiles, shaking his head. "You know what I mean. Angry at the circumstances. Frustrated with herself for being emotional. That's Grace."
That's Grace. And isn't that the truth. Rosie can't help but smile softly, because he knows Harry is right - he's going to get an earful when he gets back. But he must be a masochist, because he's almost looking forward to it - it means she cares. Not that he's ever had any reason to doubt that.
The truck rumbles along for miles. Rosie hadn't thought about how long it would take them to get back to the base, but he tries to close his eyes and get relatively comfortable until they arrive.
He hears the noise of the gates and opens his eyes to find the sun nearly down. There's a big commotion as they enter and he takes a deep breath to try to get his bearings.
"We'll go to command first, and then to the infirmary. You'll probably have to sleep there." Harry says groggily.
They're let out in front of the command building, Jack Kidd already there waiting for him along with the Colonel. Both look like they haven't slept in days. A few paces behind them is Grace, and the sight of her softens Rosie, makes his shoulders lose their tension. He meets her eyes and tries for a smile, but he thinks it comes off as more of a grimace.
Grace, for her part, is restraining herself. She feels a mixture of relief and anger wash over her at the sight of him, arm in a sling and bruises and cuts littering his handsome face. He looks exhausted, and she's sure she looks much the same.
She knows being angry is the wrong thing. It's not his fault he got shot down, after all. Really, she's angry at herself. She's angry at her heart, at the way it plummeted to her feet when she heard the news that his plane didn't come back, and she's angrier that every day since confirms to her what she already knows: she's in love with him.
And that's as terrifying as it is liberating, because there's a very real chance he could break her heart, whether he means to or not. (She knows that Robert Rosenthal doesn't have a cruel bone in his body, but sometimes, in war, the choice isn't his)
"Jesus Christ, Rosie." Jack says quietly, voice heavy. "I--" He takes a deep breath, and seems to remember what he needs to do. "It's good to see you back. We need to go to interrogation."
"The crew isn't ready--"
Kidd shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Rosie, but the quicker we do this, the better. It's already been a few days."
"Who's back?"
"Maddox, Rubick, Palmer, and Hartos. The others won't be back until tomorrow, but we'll debrief them then. I don't want to wait an extra day."
Jack looks over his shoulder, and Rosie is sure he catches an apologetic look on his face that's there and gone quickly as he sees Grace there. "Twenty minutes, then go to the infirmary." He says as he turns back to Rosie. "Let's go."
The interrogation is as grueling as Rosie expected. He's glad to see some of the members of his crew again. Despite his brain telling him that none of this is his fault, his heart can't help but beat wildly, flooding him with guilt as they give their account of what happened after they went down, when Rosie was knocked unconscious.
It feels like hours before he's trudging towards the infirmary, luckily only a few steps away from the interrogation hut.
The door is opening before he arrives, and Grace's worry-filled face fills his vision. "Grace." Her name leaves his mouth without his permission, his tone exhausted, but full of emotion.
She swallows hard. "Major." Her tone is relieved and... frustrated. He's not surprised, but he hopes she'll spare him Nurse Grace and instead give him the Grace he's been dreaming of for days, though he knows it's selfish, knows that she has a job to do.
He sees the doctor hovering behind her. She opens the door wider so he can come through.
All he wants is to be alone with her. He wants to tell her he's sorry, he wants to tell her that she was on his mind every second, that she is one of the reasons not only that he gets in the seat, but the reason he comes home.
Home.
The exam is quick, thankfully. They took good care of him in Oxford. The doctor leaves Grace to administer pain meds and do the paperwork, and it's only when they're finally alone that he sees the emotion on her face, though she's trying valiantly to hide it.
With each injury she catalogues, her face hardens. Her eyes meet his as she tilts his face up to dab a cooling salve on a bruise forming on his orbital bone.
"You have a look on your face." He says quietly.
"What, I'm not allowed to look at you?" She asks, and he can see how she's trying so hard to hold it together. Pretending. Pretending this is all business for her. He wishes she wouldn't.
"I'm sorry." He croaks, throat dry from overuse.
"Please don't apologize," she says, expression suddenly stricken, as if she realizes what she must look and sound like. "You didn't--" She stops herself, eyes closing for a moment as she gathers her professionalism. "I'm just so relieved you're alive." She whispers. "I'm not angry at you. I'm upset... I'm angry at the war. At these circumstances. That you're hurt--" She stops herself.
He wishes more than anything he had the use of both his arms. He settles for reaching out with one hand, thankful when she doesn't hesitate to take it, lacing their fingers together.
"I never want you to worry." He says, and it's the truth, even though they both know it's pointless.
She shrugs. "Comes with the territory, Major." She squeezes his hand. Her voice lowers to a whisper. "Worry happens naturally when you love someone."
His pulse pounding in his ears is all he can hear. He feels like the world tilts on its axis and then rights itself, all at once.
"Maybe it's too soon or too big for me to say it, but I don't want you to fly ever again without knowing it." She says, voice strong this time. He loves her for it.
He loves her.
He tugs her a little closer and she seems to understand, her face softening as she stands as close as she can, leaning down to meet him halfway. He tries to tell her how he feels when he kisses her gently, mindful of the black eye he's sure he's sporting and the soreness of his cheekbone. His hand leaves hers in favor of cradling her jaw, and the sigh that leaves her is music to his ears.
"Of course I love you." He murmurs, barely a centimeter between them when they break apart. "Probably have for a long time, Grace."
She pulls herself away, just for a moment, and starts to tidy up the triage area where he sits with her. He recognizes what she's doing and gives her the space she needs to gather herself, to come to terms with whatever she needs to. He's relieved at least that the smile hasn't left her face.
"Winning this war and seeing you happy are just about all that matter to me anymore." He admits, and watches as she stops what she's doing to turn back to face him.
"I just want to be sure I'm not a distraction for you."
He shakes his head. "No."
"Rosie, I'm--"
He shakes his head again, cutting her off. "Grace, you don't think I'm going to let you tell me you love me and then push me away, do you?" He tilts his head to one side.
"That's not what I'm doing. I promise."
"Then come over here and let me kiss you again."
She smiles, and he swears to himself that he's going to be responsible for that smile on her face every day, for as long as he can help it. He has no doubt that they have some trials ahead, but they have each other, and sometimes the will of the heart is stronger than anything else.
#rosie rosenthal x oc#robert rosenthal x oc#masters of the air fanfiction#do you hear that? it's me screaming#i don't know man something about ROBERT ROSENTHAL just makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair#these two just make me so happy#they're both so concerned for each other all the time it's sickening obviously#everyone around them is just rolling their eyes but deep down they're like damn that's true love you know?#anyway#i did a bit of research about this mission for rosie and it sounds so harrowing#i couldn't completely confirm that the entirety of the crew was ok but it didn't list any of them as POW or KIA so i think so#which is incredible#i hope you like this!#oc: grace fleming#softspeirs mota fanfiction
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Inspired by THISSSS post that made a lot of sense and made my brain shake so hard it melted, i wanted to try to assign my angel's favorites so i put them together!
thinking that Ren could make friends with pokemon... one can just dream.,.. they're a menace
#14 days with you#14dwy ren#14dwy redacted#14dwy oc#me mad bc there was not space for me to write <- my brother in christ you made the space??? half cooked its ok#in all honesty i don't know much about these little guys i just did research bc i was curious and it sounds fun and friendship yyeeyy#hope nobody minds the disproportion of heights or tries to make sense of the weights my mind it's already beating itself with that#WHY ARE THE LITTLE GUYS SO BIG AND HEAVY i mean it makes sense but#i just wanted to draw and my brain got fried thinking about making sense of the compositions with the data i was searching#and i just got tired thinking about 4 and i wanted to do moreee aaughhf#like Vi's pokemon having a theme of elegance and whimsy with strenght or Leon with themes of strenght to protect and keeping#an eye on what they care for and taking pride on it and Moth with their cool bugcore team and Elanor chilling with company#im getting too conscious the rush of finishing this is dissipating just post it just do it you ca#okback to my enclosure 🍖#i waited 2 days bc i got scared hiii goodnighhhtt
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Did I think I would have to learn a bunch of physics to write fanfic? No, my friends, I really did not.
Particle physics background nonsense, coming soon to a Cold War spies AU near you…
#you’re the bad guys#for making me learn physics#ok to be clear there’s only the tiniest bit of physics in the fic#but every time I start researching anything I fall down a deep dark well#a BLACK HOLE of research you might say#yes I did just make a physics joke#somebody stop me#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#good omens fanfiction#good omens fanfic
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ever ever ever ever ever. Bc I can't write lol.
Overseer Talloran and Omega-1 Draven :)
Alas, it shines very badly after hairspray treatment so it was really hard to take a photo. The pain! The pain!!!
#researcher james talloran#researcher talloran#draven kondraki#Scp#Talloraven#Kinda#Why isn't draven alpha one well one I wanted pain and two idk doesn't fit draven#Also I have a very vidivid image in my brain of draven being like#Hey I got into the mtf that specialises in neutralising foundation personnel and clef be like#You know what I can see why#I have elaborate hc in my brain don't look at me#Fun fact I only did this bc I wanted to move into new palette so had to use what I already had#So. It was a bit painful but also fun I love gouaches you have no idea#watch me and my fail art#overseer talloran#I can't guns pls have mercy I just went bling bling ok#There is so many mistakes but i like everything else#Scp foundation
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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i drew this before i even played the game
#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 memes#astarion#i dont really have anything to say about this except i dont like his fangs being that way anymore and i dont draw them like that now#yew art#and also i like his dark eyelashes in canon so i dont draw his eyelashes like that anymore either#bc it points to his hair having been dark once. in my personal opinion. bc eyelashes grey like. way way way slower than head hair#for example my dad is fully grey on his head (and on most of his beard and eyebrow hair) but his eyelashes are still completely black#and researching it eyelashes Do grey much much slower than everything else#and with how long elves live it would make sense for that time to be way increased#ok i lied i did have a lot to say.
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Sad that I cannot find my old old old post Abt leverage but DND world anyways. Here I go again:
They are all different subclass of rogue multiclassed with other things.
Sophie is a Dispater tiefling bard college of eloquence (wordplay and theatrics) and an inquisitive rogue (disguise, lying, and perceptive). Bigger focus on character and backstory (or lack thereof) than build. Definitely has disguise self.
Nate is a high elf former investigative rogue turned mastermind rogue (manipulation and misdirection tactics) and eventual multiclass of undying warlock (makes a risky pact).
Parker is a classic lightfoot halfling thief rogue (sneaky and quick) and a battle master fighter (multiple attacks to deals lots of damage). Absolutely optimized build.
Hardison is a half elf alchemist artificer (support with creating useful magic items) and a swashbuckler rogue (charisma). His comms are definitely magic items he made.
Eliot is a mountain dwarf turned slightly undead former oath of vengeance paladin (strong offence and damage) turned oath breaker paladin (harms anyone) and assassin rogue (infiltration and sneak attacks), turned way of the long death monk (defensive tanky and damaging) and assassin rogue multiclass.
Breanna is forest gnome a battle smith arcane trickster rogue artificer.
Harry is a human inquisitive rogue multiclassed with something, idk what yet.
#aaahhggggggaaa. leverage dnd au i love u.... fyi NOT makin character sheets for them i did enough multiclass research ok...#leverage#dnd#leverage dnd au#b.text#can you tell ive been thinkin abt eliots build for while...i think the changing classes is so cool and narratively relevant#the undead thing would have to be homebrew theres like zero good undead races sadly.#i struggled with harry... he sjust a regular guy to me#might end up drawing them and MIGHT might make character sheets to go with them#i know i just said i wasn't doing that but like..... might be fun....#but you basically havethe whole build roght here barring health spells modifiers and rolled stats...
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this is random but my take on "the cruel prince was wrongly marketed!!" is that yes i agree that it should've been marketed as fae politics, but also those people who complain about them "not being enemies to lovers, cardan was straight up trying to kill her"- it's called 'enemies' for a reason 💀 i get that the term has been super washed down and softened so you're probably shocked by the way it was showed in the book but like what did you expect? for them to call eachother ugly a few times? 💀🙏
Tbh i didn't like the start of the cruel prince very much at all and was cringing alot but i think labelling jude and cardan's relationship as "enemies to lovers" does make sense.
#idk why i wanted to share this but anyways yeah#i hope this isnt too specific and u guys understand what i mean by the whole frustration over tcp being 'wrongly marketed'#oh ok but also another things- people will call anything 'wrongly marketed'... ur fault u read the book just bc a tiktok video said it was#enemies to lovers and u did no other research abt what the story was actually abt ??? 💀💀 ur fault u disappointed urself#vix's library#the cruel prince
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“Wow, man, that’s nasty. You should get that checked.”
Someone’s standing in the doorway, Steve’s sane enough to notice that. This someone is wearing the infamous hospital gown, is hooked to an IV, and has Nancy’s hair. Which is exceptionally weird, because Steve has always believed that no one could achieve that kind of volume. Especially while living in a hospital.
This someone is also, not unlike Steve, wrapped in several layers of dressings to shelter their burns from everything that’s bad in this world: infection, stares, more pain.
(Steve isn’t so certain about the last one, though. He sure is in a lot of pain at the moment.)
So someone is standing in the doorway, he’s positive. This someone is staring at him, their gaze curious and open, and it’s not a nurse, and it’s not a doctor. Partly that’s why Steve doesn’t believe that this person is even real at first. His visitors must wear gowns and gloves—something about it being too early to risk an infection. So despite the hair, it is not Nancy.
It’s a someone. Maybe. Probably. Steve doesn’t know—his eyes are barely open and he’s too high on painkillers to differentiate between dreams and reality. When the sweet numbness overwhelms him again, he has half a mind to say: Maybe it’s an angel, standing in my doorway.
***
As Steve’s recovery progresses (and the amount of painkillers he’s being pumped with decreases), he gets more and more aware of reality.
For starters, he learns that he’s not living some sort of fever dream. He was—is—a firefighter, who got pretty badly burned, and his sides, some parts of his belly, back and arms need very special and very expensive treatment. Hence the hospital bed, the gown, the dressings, meds, pain, et cetera. This burn center is going to be his home for the next few weeks, and Steve’s okay with that. It means that he got to save a life, even if his own was put at risk in the process.
He can live with that, definitely. With the scars and the pain, no problem. What’s killing him now is his own curiosity.
He hasn’t been seeing angels, turns out. He’s been seeing fellow patients – one patient in particular. That someone who hovered over the threshold when he first started his recovery. Steve’s been seeing him almost every day, taking slow steps across the hallway, dragging his IV behind him, the patchwork of dressings and scarring tissue changing frequently.
Without fail, each time this man passes Steve’s room, his steps slow down. Sometimes, he sends Steve a wink. On better days, Steve supposes, when the scarring on his cheek doesn’t bother him that much, he gives a flash of a smile. Even on the worst days, when walking serves as torture, he acknowledges Steve with a nod, like they know and respect each other.
Everything about him is a mystery to Steve, though. He, too, returns a small wave or a nod or anything, but he still half-believes he’s seeing things that aren’t there, so when this man with long, wavy hair and ridiculously brown eyes passes his room again, he can’t hold it back any longer.
“Beth, who’s that?” he asks. Beth, his nurse slash new hospital friend, looks over her shoulder. When she finally figures out what he means, she smiles.
“Isn’t that your angel?”
He looks at her completely mortified.
“Please, tell me you’ve just made that up.”
Beth laughs and adjusts the position of his bed. “Sorry, love. I’m afraid that everyone heard your delirious tirades about long-haired angels taking you to heaven.”
With how heavily her “everyone” implies everyone, he doesn't even have it in him to groan. He shouldn’t have listened to Robin when she told him that his high is one of the best things in the world.
***
“How come you never scream?”
Steve’s eyes have been shut tight for the whole time his doctor was poking and prodding around his wounds, but now they’re wide open and he, too, wants to ask himself that. How come he never screams? It’s the most pain he’s ever felt in his entire life. It’s ripping him apart, it’s eating him alive, it’s killing him, but he never screams.
He just keeps his eyes closed, waiting for it to be over. Thinking about Robin and his kids, about how he has to stay strong and never show fear because it’s his job to keep them safe and away from the pain even if—or maybe especially if—it comes with taking the pain on himself, bearing it, being torn by it. He keeps his eyes closed and doesn’t think about his failures or the times he was too late to save them; he keeps them shut because he knows that there are going to be more times when he’ll have to keep his eyes open to spot the danger ahead.
But his eyes are open now, open and staring at the man standing in his doorway, backlit and glowing like some non-human entity, asking him such a simple thing that will, without a doubt, make Steve circle down the drain when he’s alone again.
Steve doesn’t dare open his mouth. He’d scream if he tried, and he cannot afford to do that.
“Mr. Munson, you really shouldn’t be here right now.”
Steve shuts his eyes back again.
***
Steve’s recovery is slow, slower than anticipated. When he first got here, his doctors said he’d be able to walk soon-ish, but it’s way past “soon-ish” now and he’s still tied to his bed. It still hurts like hell, he’s still woozy from the painkillers, even though the strongest stuff is out of the question, he’s made sure of that. He’d rather feel everything than risk another embarrassing situation. Maybe it’s stupid, but that’s how it is.
Mainly, Steve just feels lonely. He’s allowed to have visitors, but they can’t stay with him as long as he’d like them to—mostly because they have lives outside of this hospital while Steve’s entire life is in this hospital. He’s lonely, he’s bored, and he’s envious out of his mind, because the man from his doorway gets his walks every day and Steve dreams of nothing but being able to move a little.
Each time Munson walks past his room, he stares. He can’t help it. He doesn’t have a mirror in here, but it’s painstakingly clear to him that he’s glaring daggers at a man that hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s just so jealous—his body aches, but it’s a different ache; it’s an ache of being still for too long. An ache of being out of the game. Steve hates being out of the game. It makes him come up with the worst possible scenarios—but he has to thank both his burns and his head trauma for the dizziness, weakness and total lack of coordination that keeps him from starting physio.
With each passing day, his stares get more daunting, but the man doesn’t stop sending him smiles and nods. He knows it’s irrational and unfair, taking out his own fears and anger on someone who can’t do anything about his situation, who’s in an equally shitty situation, actually, but he’s still working on not being mean without a reason. And it seems so harmless, because this stranger never stops smiling at him. No matter how much Steve tries, he can’t seem to convey his feelings, because Munson never stops.
It irritates him even more, enrages him to a point. When Munson smiles at him one day, Steve can’t take it anymore.
“Are you always this chirpy?” he asks, his voice dripping of malice. It disgusts him a little, makes him want to retreat—retreat far away from the version of himself that he dropped years ago, although it’s haunting him to this day. He wants to retreat, but he doesn’t. He pouts instead.
Munson stops in his tracks, raises one eyebrow. He looks amused, and it pisses Steve off.
“Your life must be quite miserable if walking around a hospital with unhealed wounds is your definition of chirpy,” Munson says. It’s supposed to sting, probably, but his smile is still there, despite his injured cheek. Steve’s pout deepens. Munson looks like a cat who got the cream. “Oof, soft spot. It’s okay, sweetheart,” he coos, looking like he’d like to lean against the doorframe, but his injured arm won’t let him. “We can be miserable—oh, sorry. Chirpy, we can be chirpy together.”
Steve doesn’t respond, he doesn’t know how. He feels warm all over. It’s not something he likes. He’d cross his arms over his chest if he could.
Munson stays silent for a moment, a smirk still playing on his lips. The quiet moment stretches out until he takes a big breath and takes a look around. “I’m Eddie, by the way. And I’m very, very late for my usual ‘walk as much as you can but be reasonable, Mr. Munson’ appointment, so I have to get going. But, uh,” he looks at Steve like he’s not sure of something for the first time in his life, even though he’s still playing along. “I could come around tomorrow, Mr…?”
“Steve,” comes the reply. Munson—Eddie smiles, again.
“Alright then, Mr. Steve. Get ready to be the chirpiest you’ve ever been.”
***
The worst thing is, it works. Steve does get chirpier.
It starts out small. Eddie just stops in front of the threshold, spits out the most random, obnoxious and seemingly nonsensical (although Steve suspects they’re all true) fact, like Did you know that cows have four stomachs? or Did you know that geckos can’t blink and they have to lick their own eyeballs to keep them from drying out? or something of sorts, and then he leaves while Steve lies in his bed, suspecting that he’s having hallucinations and fully questioning his sanity. Again.
It gets progressively worse, it does. It gets weirder. At first, Steve isn’t sure what to think of it. Eddie’s strange. He’s also a nerd. He talks in codes, his sentences are long and Steve finds it hard to follow his logic altogether from time to time. But he also makes Steve snort, sometimes even laugh—truly laugh, laugh from his belly. Eddie’s weird, but he’s Dustin-weird, Steve decides. Good-weird. Familiar-weird. Safe-weird.
He makes him feel less lonely. Steve invites him to sit beside his bed after a few days, so now Eddie comes, spits out his random nerdy facts, and they sit and talk around it until the nurses kick Eddie out for not doing his laps.
Steve’s less lonely. He’s so much less lonely he even starts missing Eddie when they’re not together—only a little, but he does. (He knows it’s dangerous. But what’s the harm in that if they’re both stuck here anyway? What’s the harm in a little hospital vulnerability?) It’s quite difficult not to miss Eddie, to be honest. Eddie makes it difficult—he listens when Steve talks, he never hesitates before explaining something when Steve doesn’t get it immediately, he’s patient, but at the same time, he talks so much. The room fills with intricate, engrossing stories and anecdotes whenever he opens his mouth.
The only moments when Steve feels even less less lonely than when he’s with Eddie is when he’s with Robin, and Robin’s the most important person in Steve’s life.
“Contraband,” Eddie says, sitting down on the edge of Steve’s bed one day. He puts something on Steve’s thing – cherry jello and a plastic spoon. His favorite. “Don’t rat me out.”
He smiles at Steve. His cheek is practically healed now; the scar isn’t as big as Steve imagined it from afar, but it sure as hell must have been a menace to get it more or less healed. That’s the only thing they don’t talk about. How they got here, how they got their scars. They support each other through it, but they never dwell.
At least Eddie doesn’t. Steve’s sure everyone knows his story – people love when firefighters let themselves get burned to a crisp while trying to save somebody else, after all, and gossip spreads around the hospital with the speed of plague.
“And get my best dealer behind bars?” Steve asks and scrapes a spoonful of jello from the cup. “They never have cherry. You’re the only one that seems to know where they store it.”
Eddie grins devilishly and leans a bit further. “Do you want to know a secret?” he asks and Steve mumbles something unintelligible in response. “I used to deal,” Eddie says. Steve’s not sure if he does it on purpose or not, but he starts playing with the hem of Steve’s sock, his fingers barely brushing the skin on Steve’s calf. It tingles, but he doesn’t mind.
Steve’s brows go up. “Is that how you got here?” he risks, not really knowing why. He’s not that curious—but it’s the scar on Eddie’s face that’s been haunting him for ages now. So different from his own forming scars, yet, in principle, the same.
Eddie’s face gets softer. Steve can’t recognize the expression properly, it’s different from Eddie’s usual, mischievous smirk. It’s quiet for the longest time, so quiet Steve thinks he’s going to choke on his jello from build-up pressure.
“I’m gay,” Eddie says, suddenly, his voice totally cool and leveled while Steve—
“I’m bi,” he blurts out in response, practically out of breath. To his absolute horror, Eddie chuckles.
“Well, that’s useful,” he says around his crooked smile, “but that’s not what I meant.”
When he points at his face, everything clicks. Steve tries to control his face, but the realization is too sudden.
“What?” he asks before he can think better of it.
Eddie shrugs. His expression is unreadable, but he isn't looking at Steve anymore, his eyes fixed on his own fingers that are still playing with Steve’s sock.
“My band has this one place for gigs that we all don’t really like, but they actually pay us some money. I’ve always thought that it’s enough – this and my arrogance, anyway – enough to scrape by. I’m not too cagey about being gay, and I wanted to spite them, I guess, show them that they can’t win,” he looks up. He looks sad, almost defeated, as much as Steve hates it. “They got their way, as you can see. Tried to pour something on me when I was leaving the stage, but they fucked up, both in terms of chemistry and their aim. It didn’t get me as bad as it could have, so I guess I won anyway.”
Eddie smiles again, but it reaches nowhere near his eyes. He looks so sad, so hurt, and Steve’s so, so angry. It’s easy for him to turn to anger, it’s easy and it’s freeing and he suddenly feels bigger and stronger than he really is, because he wants to destroy something, anything—but he’s not a fighter. He’s a protector. He’s not Nancy; he’s Steve. No matter how hopeless, how betrayed he feels, he doesn’t want to hurt. He wants to heal and save.
“It’s not your fault,” he says, afraid it’s too dumb and too obvious.
“I know,” Eddie replies impassively, looking at him from underneath his too long bangs.
“You said you wanted to spite them. But it doesn’t matter, it’s not your fault,” he drills. Eddie opens his mouth again, but before he gets to say anything, Steve squeezes his knee and looks at him intently. “It’s not,” he insists. “Whatever you said or did, it never mattered. They would have done it even if you’d praised them, you were never the problem.”
Eddie scoffs, but it’s not malicious. His eyes are a little bit glassy. “So you’re saying I’m perfect?”
For some reason, Steve doesn’t have a problem with reading that. Please, let’s not talk about it now. Then foreign fingers graze his own, and he gets it. Thank you, though.
Steve sighs, something tugging at the corners of his lips. The change of topic makes this both heavier and lighter at the same time. He flicks his spoon at Eddie and aims perfectly between his eyebrows.
“Bring me more jello tomorrow and maybe I’ll grace you with saying that out loud.”
“So you’ve thought—”
“Shut up, Eddie.”
Their fingers intertwine in the silence that follows. They look at each other like they can see each other and suddenly, Steve feels the weight of this moment. They’re not strangers anymore—maybe they have never been strangers. Maybe this was meant to happen from the very beginning. He most probably wasn’t seeing angels a few weeks back, but whatever it was that he saw hovering over his threshold, it’s just entered his house and is, hopefully, planning to stay for longer.
#tw for homophobia mention towards the end!!#pining#ok no guys. i do not know what this is lol#matching scars#it's their trope.... in every universe#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#st4#steddie fic#steve x eddie#firefighter steve#modern au#hospital au#god how is that a thing#listen. i did the research but i've also watched too many episodes of grey's anatomy for my own good so this is 100% not accurate#let me live out the delusions#i've been scribbling down bits and pieces of this one for so long it just needs to see the light of day
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"lol look at this trash there was only one good scene in the whole show" (tags saying flat out they have not watched it, they've only watched YouTubers making fun of it) (tags it so the post will appear in main tags)
it costs $0 to simply not open your yap about something you have not watched
#tell me you'll take any opportunity to be mean for the hell of it without telling me etc. etc. etc.#i am. so tired.#what's really annoying is the ones who are like 'i did my research i have an informed opinion'#buddy you watched someone who is paid to feed you ragebait. your 'research' was listening to someone shilling for clicks#your opinion is not 'informed' it is HEAVILY biased#and it's not even YOUR opinion. you're parroting the opinion of a ragebait shill#who tricked you into hating something because it made them money to trick you#that's not YOUR OPINION. you're jumping on a bandwagon to feel cool#and claiming it's a wagon you built#you have built nothing to be proud of#said nothing to be proud of#done nothing to be proud of#you are hateful you are boring you are a fucking clown goodnight#dal is a scream#ok to reblog
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kirby gsa according to someone who never finished the anime:
#upon further research the blue one does not fight with a chain 😞😞 what am i supposed to do now#tag yourself im dragato#guys. i am making up their eye colors i know shit fuck about them.#ok so apparantly the japanese and english names are different?? bro why did 4kids make it so complicated#kirby series#kirby gsa#kirby right back at ya#i have no clue how to tag the characters#my art process is art that i spend hours on and then shitpost two seconds later
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