#makes me feel like I’m handing out a newsletter every time I post

[cassinopya]

I love scrolling through my mutuals reblogs and realising we actually do not have one media in common, no no, it’s six hundred and twelve. It’s all of them. It’s everything. Our souls are bonded, perhaps.

[okogespaws]

Personal Story - Kanno Yuragi

**This post was originally meant to use oissu as support. If you're reading on desktop or browser, I recommend you reading here for a different experience!

I knew it wasn’t mine, that’s why I didn’t try to reach out, but somehow I still wanted us to connect.

Yuragi: (...... Ah)

The tablet slips off from my hand, making a dull sound as it falls to the floor. The cat that appeared on screen stops moving.

Yuragi: ( ……I was just sleeping)

Hah… ah

I took off my earphones and stretched. It was evening just a few minutes ago, but before I knew it, it had already become midnight. There wasn’t any noise coming from the room next door. I can’t tell if Akehoshi has gone somewhere or if he’s already asleep.

Yuragi: (I should go to bed now. I have the lunch shift tomorrow… but, I’m a kinda hungry)

(But I’ll have to take a bath, get dressed and.. it’s all too much of a hassle. I should just go to bed now.)

(I ate some sweets earlier, so I should at least go and brush my teeth. I don’t wanna go to the dentist.)

While still buried in the sofa, thinking what to do, I reach for my phone, which was lying nearby in a convenient place.

Yuragi: (Something came out…)

— fuu What was displayed on the lock screen was neither from LIME nor Chattas. As soon as I realized that it was a notification from an email address I haven’t used in a long time, I paused for a moment. But, even if I hesitated, the screen was already unlocked and both the sender and title of the email were immediately displayed.

Yuragi: ( …… Ah)

I don’t even know when I signed up for an e-newsletter like this. I put my phone down without opening it.

Yuragi: (I guess something like this can still catch me off guard.)

……

The feeling of having to bother to do something still remained, but the sleepiness somehow managed to get away. I mindlessly grabbed a stock from the basket, and opened the window to the balcony. Taking a look up at the sky, there was nothing.

Yuragi: (Well, it's not like I wanted to see anything.)

At night, when it seemed that no one was awake, I sat down with just my legs sticking out and opened some sweets. I thought about getting something to drink, but I couldn’t be bothered to stand up again.

Yuragi: ( …… Ah )

At times a car would drive past in the distance. Suddenly, a familiar sound appeared amongst them.

Yuragi: (What was it called again? I think it was… Ah, right)

...... Boxer sound.

: Stop looking at me with those eyes. I’ll be back in the morning, okay?

I gazed at the night sky for a while, waiting for it to turn into morning. Even after it was no longer a promise, I would still open the window and wait for that sound. Always, every single time.

Yuragi: Ah

Crack, a piece of pretzel silently breaks off and falls to the ground. Realizing I wouldn’t be able to eat it even if I picked it up, I stopped trying to reach for it.

Yuragi:……

As I slowly withdrew my hand, I examined its tips, the back, and then the palm. It was obvious, it was completely different from that hand that always seemed so close yet always remained so far away.

Yuragi: (Ah, but the shape of the nails―?)

I thought for a moment, but couldn’t remember as everything seemed so faint and hazy.

Yuragi: (Whatever, doesn’t matter)

I no longer wait for mornings like those, nor do I want to take that hand any more. Not wanted and not desired. From this point there’s nothing.

:— Just like a curse that cannot be broken.

Yuragi: ……

I bring one sweet to my mouth, swallow it, then bring the next one and repeat. One, two, three. Another one.

Yuragi: (I’ll finish eating this quickly, then go to bed).

For no good reason, this boring mood inexplicably transformed into irritation. I probably won’t be able to return to sleep. It was then that I was chewing silently, as if hoping to push away something I was inevitably about to touch.

???: — Oh, it’s Yuragi-san

Yuragi: Eh?

On the opposite side of Akehoshi’s room, who I still don’t know whether he’s out or sleeping. I unexpectedly caught Kamiya poking his head out of a window once I turned around.

Yuragi: You are awake.

Kamiya: Yeah. I was asleep but I left the window open, so I heard some noise.

Yuragi: Did it woke you?

Kamiya: Oh, no, no. It just happened, or should I say, it was me who accidentally left the window open.

Yuragi: ……

Kamiya: Since it’s this late, I wondered if Akehoshi-kun was drinking or something.

Yuragi-san, are staying up late today? Isn’t it rare for you to be up this late?

Yuragi: Not really.

(……. Ah)

Kamiya: ……

As the words left my mouth, it felt like I was sending Kamiya away, who had just spoken to me in a casual way. “I did it again”, the words slipping out my mouth so instinctively. I clicked my tongue, which only irritated me even further.

Yuragi: (Why had he come out at a time like this…?)

(No, I know. It’s not Kamiya’s fault)

But I’m not here to lash out at anyone like this.

Yuragi: …… That just now

Kamiya: The wind is blowing nicely today, it feels good, doesn’t it? I can kinda understand why wanted to stay up.

Yuragi: (…… Eh?)

And as if in response to those words, the wind blew quietly at the right moment. His bangs got blown a little, then fell back to their original position. Then Kamiya spoke again.

Kamiya: Ah. Did you just say something?

Yuragi: ……

Kamiya: That’s a relief.

Kamiya said as if nothing had happened, so I silently shook my head. Things like these make me think that Kamiya may actually be older than me.

Kamiya: Sorry for disturbing you on your peaceful moment. I’m going to bed, so take your time.

But I’ll leave the window open, if you want to talk.

Yuragi: I'm also going to bed.

Kamiya: I see. Then, good night.

Yuragi: ……

The moment I gave a small nod back to Kamiya, who smiled back at me, I found out that my mood had calmed down a little.

Yuragi: (…… Ah)

The wind swept the clouds, finally revealing the moon peeking through a gap.

Yuragi: (The moon was this bright today. Ah, but it looks like it’s going to get covered again by the clouds.)

……

I knew that if I were to call him, Kamiya would show up immediately, so I didn’t. Instead, for some reason, I took a photo. Then I closed the bag of sweets, which still had some contents in it, and got up.

Yuragi: ……

Good night.

Kamiya: ...... Good night.

Yuragi: …… Why are you still up?

Kamiya: It may look like that, but if you look closely I’m just talking in my sleep

Yuragi: I can’t see anything.

Kamiya: Ahaha. Then, I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.

Yuragi: You as well?

Kamiya: I’ll work at lunch every day this week.

Yuragi: Why?

Kamiya: Don’t know, I wonder why.

Yuragi: If you don’t like it then you should say it.

Kamiya: Ahaha

After he laughed he said “good night” one last time. Once Kamiya had quieted down, I finally went back inside my room. For not particular reason, I decided to leave the window open, not that I was waiting for anything to happen.

[adornesibley]

NAME GOES HERE: a Newsletter

Reading: Old Gods of Appalachia TTRPG by Monte Cook Games, Starter Villain by John Scalzi, The Secrets We Keep by Shirley Patton

Finished Reading: Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Future by Naomi Alderman

Podcast: Unwell

Playing: God Hand (PS2(on PS3(Thank God Hand for PS2 Classics)))

Making: Zines and Doom Levels

Writing: Project E

Word Count: 168317

TLDR: EfanGamez needs food help badly! CHEAP TTRPG BUNDLE! Working on working titles. The, frankly, crowded writing scene and AI intruders. ADHD and unfinished proj… Wingspan is so cute and so fun~ We’re Here because We’re Here because… Mekborg and Steel Psalm want YOU!

An indie TTRPG designer needs help badly! EfanGamez has put all of their paid TTRPGs and supplements together into a tidy little bundle and is currently offering it for $25USD on their itch.io page! This sale is on for another 19 days as of the posting of this newsletter and I HIGHLY encourage anyone interested in trying out TTRPGs that are out of the norm to take advantage of this deal. Grim and Mourn are two first-person-shooter-inspired TTRPGs that I can recommend in particular.

I have been working on Project E, the working title, of which she’s had many. Just recently, I decided it was necessary to completely rewrite every bit of dialogue for the main villain, allowing him a more gradual, consistent descent into madness. It’s going well, and progress is happening. I want to touch on something in the first sentence of this paragraph. It’s FASCINATING to me how some stories get their names with minimal teeth-pulling. Hell, I’ve had stories who received their names BEFORE I wrote a word of them. But Project E has gone through so many iterations of names that I’ve sort of decided to keep this working title until I’m done and maybe even after Beta Readers have had their turn. I know the name will come when it’s meant to. Part of my problem is the book is about a very specific theme, its plot has some consistent elements, and its setting is vivid… but to wrap up enough of these separate elements together in a title is proving… troublesome.

Trying to get your work out into the world as an author (in ways where people will actually see it that is) is SO freakin difficult. The market is saturated now more than ever. We, as writers, not only have to “contend” with our fellow writers but now with AI as there is an influx of AI-generated content being submitted to journals and magazines around the world. I am glad I am not in the publishing industry right now. But, nevertheless, I have submitted to two anthologies this past month. One bigger name bi-monthly and one niche market which was INSANELY fun to write. Hopefully, something will come of them. But if not, what do you do? We, as writers, continue on. We heed the call in our hearts and minds, we sling that ink and continue forward, one lie at a time.

Speaking of which, I have so many unfinished works XD I tend to post about something I’m working on then distraction occurs and all of a sudden it has been a month and I have totally forgotten about the project I had been working on. I have no doubt picked up something new or something old and once-forgotten. ADHD brains often feel like a quagmire, hard to pull thoughts through, sometimes you lose them altogether to the deep dark, sometimes they resurface, grimy and forgotten… what was I talking about again?

Last month, my little TTRPG group didn’t meet as several folks were unavailable… so instead we got the remaining few of us together and I got to play Wingspan for the first time! What a blast~ It was certainly complicated starting off but the rules become pretty easy to grasp after about two rounds of play. After that, when you’re about one round from the end is when it becomes clear how you’re supposed to plan for the ending if you’re intent on winning. Or of course, you could just enjoy all the beautiful birds, the weird facts, and the wonderful time shared with your friends.

I am a long-term Nerdfighter. 2012 era. If you are unsure of what this means, I’ll briefly explain. John and Hank Green are two authors/ YouTubers /philanthropists/ podcasters/ educators/ nerds/ TBFighters (I could go on… these guys are PROLIFIC) and they have been vlogging since 2007 and around that vlog (originally meant to bring them closer as brothers which I think is/was/whatever a resounding success) has grown a community called Nerdfighteria, among many other things. They have recently started a “good news” newsletter called We’re Here. “A nice little email for people from Earth.” I highly recommend signing up. These humans have continued to make the world less sucky by their presence and their actions. It’s beautiful how these massively powerful, famous, and influential creators are using their network to support folks in their extended community and using their community and influence to make so much good change in the world. Please go check out We’re Here and Vlogbrothers.

Speaking of community and supporting one another, DMDave is starting a Kickstarter for two books! Mekborg, which seems to be Warhammer 40k grimdark meets Battletech, is/was/whatever designed by John K Webb who has a LOT of design credits for the magazines Broadsword and Sidequest. As well, there’s Steel Psalm, designed by Dave himself, which from the name I’d presume is the same setting, but using wargaming rules similar to Forbidden Psalm (Also big recommendation). The Kickstarter is launching April 16th and the best part? When it’s done, the digital copies will go out immediately and by June or July the books will be shipped out (depending on how long printing takes) as the books are already finished! I’ll fully admit DMDave probably doesn’t “need” help to get the project funded, but the more support there is, the more likely projects like this will be created in the future!

Support weird. Support indie.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, December 20

Xander: I've gotta say something... 'Cause ... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do ... the way you think ... the way you move ... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.

~~~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor! Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here. If you saw the phrase "HTML template" in our previous calls for editors and that was what made you decide that Herald duties aren't for you, you may be glad to hear that we've set up an alternative posting process! [Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Faith's Best Christmas Ever (BUffy/Faith, M) by apachefirecat

My Hand was the One You Reached For (Buffy/Spike, G) by lexterminate

It's a Hard Knock Ice (Buffy/Spike, E) by ClowniestLivEver

I'll Be Home for Christmas (Buffy/Spike, M) by scratchmeout

[Chaptered Fiction]

He Slays Monsters Ch. 2: Gender-Blind Casting (Buffy/Faith, E) by BeatriceEveryTuesday

Saving Faith Ch. 1-8/8 (COMPLETE) (Multiple pairings, E) by neondream

Learning To Be Love's Bitch, Chapter 23 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Desicat

Burn, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, T) by violettathepiratequeen

Christmas Without You, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Dusty

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Buffy & Spike () by isevery0nehereverystoned

Artwork:Faith () by salylockheart

[Reviews & Recaps]

S4. Ep11. Doomed  by becomingbuffypodcast

There was so much wild shit in BtVS by lierdumoa

ReWatch: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - S5, E1-2 by kimannebb

ReWatch: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - S5, E3-4 by kimannebb

Video: Buffy The Vampire Slayer 6x20 “Villians” Reaction () by naj

[Fandom Discussions]

Sparrow's 2022 Fandom Round Up by sparrow2000

i wish that faith’s arc in ‘five by five’ happened in ATS s2 or 3 by faith-thee-slayer

angel’s mental health declining over the course of ats s5 by badrecognition

like if u WANT the fresley, then let it fucking happen by badrecognition

fresley became a moot point by badrecognition

Not Fade Away is supposed to be the antithesis of Chosen by badrecognition

it/she angelus + it/he soulless spike by titsgirlbuffy

Cleveland by daydreamingandprocrastination

season 4 is such a comedy by clockwards

thinking about doing a spiderverse type of buffy story by corvidyus

Angel trans moments by titsgirlbuffy

Willow in "Villains" by girl4music

The Initiative by kyliafanfiction and majingojira

On the subject of Xander harem fics by kyliafanfiction

Like, I love Xander, but... by kyliafanfiction

What was your peeve with Season 7? by LazyTension

Am I the only one that thinks that if spike was sent the the powers, Buffy’s life would be a lot better? by Kindly-Accident8437

There is something that has been bothering me by PilotSharp4185

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: 9 Harsh Realities Of Rewatching Buffy The Vampire Slayer by Screen Rant

PUBLICATION: Vampire Slayer #9 Preview: Willow and Faith Enter the Spider's Web by Bleeding Cool

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[savefilescomng12]

Cardi B Had a Green Replica of Her Black Met Gala Dress

Cardi B keeps her options open! On Tuesday, May 7, just one day after the 2024 Met Gala, the “Enough” rapper, 31, used social media to let her fans know that she actually had an alternate version of her dress available to wear to the annual event.  “Green or Black?” Cardi captioned a tweet on X (formerly known as Twitter). The post contained a video of the “WAP” hitmaker standing still in an enormous green lace gown as a member of her team walked around her to get a 360-degree view. In the behind-the-scenes clip, the superstar was make-up-free for her dress fitting.  Cardi also interacted with her supporters and let them know why she opted for black.  “WHY DIDNT YOU GO WITH THE GREEN SISTER OMG,” one person said in response to the clip.  “It wasn’t photographing well …It translated different on all lighting and and angles on camera,” Cardi replied. She also reposted a second, longer clip of the fitting that had been tweeted by a fan page.  “Cardi’s #MetGala Prep: Day 1,” the footage was titled.  The video showed the New York native entering a room with multiple dresses in both colors.  Cardi B, 2024 Met Gala. Theo Wargo/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images “This is not what I was expecting,” she said while glancing around the room, also asking why it “smells like fish.” “Don’t have me smelling like fish at the Met Gala,” she playfully warned.  As the clip went on, Cardi continued with fittings, saying she was scared and admitting that the Met Gala gives her anxiety.  “It’s tight right there. It gotta be cut,” she said while wearing the green dress as one of her stylists cut the bottom of the garment. “I wanna get it over with. Every time — I feel like every year we do this, it’s just like.” After a beat, Cardi confessed, “Next year I’m not doing it.” Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Monday’s event marked the Grammy winner’s fifth time attending the gala, which benefits the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Fast X actress arrived in quite possibly the largest gown the gala has ever seen.  This year’s theme was “The Garden of Time," and according to her stylist Kollin Carter’s Instagram, Cardi went as “The Black rebellious Rose.” Offset and Cardi B, 2024 Met Gala afterparty. Gotham/GC Images Once the event wrapped, the “Bodak Yellow” artist was joined by her husband Offset for Richie Akiva's 10th annual "The After" Met Gala afterparty, held at Casa Cipriani. Cardi stepped out seemingly channeling a rose in a structured red dress. The couple was photographed holding hands as they walked together at the A-list affair.  She and the Migos rapper, 32, share daughter Kulture, 5½, and son Wave, 2½. Source link Read the full article

[chorusfm]

Liner Notes (April 27th, 2024)

It’s been a few weeks, but we’re back! This week’s supporter Q&A post can be found here. If you’d like this newsletter delivered to your inbox each week (it’s free and available to everyone), you can sign up here. A Few Things * Whew, it’s been a while! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. There have been many family commitments on the weekends, and then two weeks ago, I was out of town on a business trip. It was the first time I’d traveled since the pandemic year, and the trip down and back from Mexico City was filled with every example of why I dislike traveling. Canceled flights, airline chaos, the dreaded SSSS on my boarding pass. It felt like a calamity of errors each way, leading to 12+ hours of travel on both days. Let’s say I’m not a fan. There’s a reason I like working behind a computer in the comfort of my home office. But, I’m back, and the calendar looks much clearer from here on out. So, I hope to get back into a regular weekend writing routine. But, enough about me; there’s a whole lot to cover. * Apple has started allowing game emulators on iOS. The first one I’ve seen is Delta, and it’s pretty wild that it works as well as it does. I downloaded some nostalgia-as-fuck games, tossed them in the Files app, loaded them into Delta, and was playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 on my fricking iPhone. Wild, wild stuff. * I’ve written many times over the last couple of years about FRND CRCL and their most recent pop-punk gem. But I just have to call out this t-shirt. Could there be anything more me? The Friends parody? It’s perfect. Also, the album still rules. In Case You Missed It * ”We Got Older, but We’re Still Young” * South Star Festival Announces Lineup * The Get Up Kids Announce New Tour * The Starting Line Thank Taylor Swift * Update from Adam of Fenix TX * The Menzingers Announce’ Rented World’ Shows * The Starting Line Talk With Variety * Saosin Detail Version 4.0 * Emo’s Not Dead 2025 Cruise Announced * Albums in Stores – Apr 26th, 2024 Music Thoughts * The most significant release of the last couple of weeks is, obviously, the new Taylor Swift album. After some time with it, my thoughts are starting to solidify a bit. It’s good, but it absolutely suffers from its length and overall sameness to a lot of the songs. Too many never quite elevate and instead feel stuck in first gear. In a fun twist of fate it’s not unlike what I thought The 1975 were suffering through for a couple albums. The lack of an editor who can say: let’s take the best batch of songs and hone in on them, workshop them, and make them incredible. Less can be more, and in an era where the biggest music star on the planet is already verging on overexposure, a scalpel was desperately needed on this project as a whole. He says as the album breaks all kinds of records, has seven billion vinyl variants printing money, and is sure to be the best-selling album of the year. And there’s a handful of super solid songs here. “But Daddy I Love Him,” “Down Bad,” and “Imgonnagetyouback” are all standouts for me. The Starting Line reference in “The Black Dog” is an all-timer. The smile on my face hearing that for the first time could have powered a small town with the electricity pouring out of me. * Cold Years’ new album A Different Life came out this week, and they completed an absolute scorcher of a three-album run. Truly one for the ages. They’re doing the whole Gaslight Anthem meets Green Day punk thing as well as anyone in music. This should dominate playlists as the weather starts turning to the summer months. Highly recommended. * I cannot praise Florrie’s upcoming album, The Lost Ones, enough. It is a pitch-perfect pop album. The most recent single, “Kissing in the Cold,” gives a really good feel for where the album is headed. Now, if she would just have a vinyl option that’s not over $60 shipped to the States, that would be excellent. * The new Mariana’s Trench single is a welcome return to form. I didn’t dislike… https://chorus.fm/features/articles/liner-notes-april-27th-2024/

[holisticsoulhealer]

The Good in You - A Spiritual Story

Of course seeing the good in ourselves and in one another is a valuable way to live life, whenever we can. I’m always up for this behavior, and sometimes challenge myself to stand in this reality, even if I have to fake it until I make it some days. It’s especially difficult when someone is angry with you, or chooses to be disgruntled or comes after you.

I remember during the pandemic when I was providing readings on my outdoor patio. It was a really safe space, because seating was open at a round table, where we had room to literally breathe, and very few people sat with masks on, while we shared some sweet unfolding and memorable moments.

The readings are often a gift as they bring out the best in me, while standing in the energetic field of the best of the person I’m reading for. Two women came to see me, one sat with a notepad while the first one was read. She was combative, angry, sitting with arms folded and staring at me, letting me know that no matter what I was guided to tell her, that I was wrong.

The information wasn’t anything bad, or negative, it was designed to help her form a new perspective. She wasn’t having any of it. It was a really tough reading, resulting in her slamming her payment down on my patio table, storming off and sitting in her car. Her friend then had her reading, and she could see that I was a bit shaken up. She placed her hand on mine, telling me that everything that was spoken to her friend was true and accurate. She let me know that her friend had been in a really annoyed space and was letting it out on our session.

She had written notes that would be immensely helpful later in the day, when she felt she would be able to reach her friend. Her reading was wonderful. She was open, bubbly and receptive. It was such a stark contrast to go from the depths of challenge to the heights of joy. I loved every last second of that reading and she hugged me a long time when we were complete, thanking me for my patience with her troubled friend.

I could honestly see the good in each of the women, however, one of them was much easier to enjoy than the other, who provided no joy and only challenge. In order to live a good life we deserve to be open to the good in us and stay open to the good there is for us from all others.

As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven't already done so! We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits! This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings,

Ruth

Get personal with your Angels!! Connect with me and see what they have to say!!

BOOK NOW!

[softglowup]

All credit goes to @2pretty, all the info on the dream girl guide concept & original post are here!

My dream girl is...

someone with a rewarding and stimulating career that fits her expertise and skills. She has successfully completed her degree. Her career is a big part of her life because it's closely connected to her own interests. She's embedded in a network of interesting, diverse professionals, who include her in cool projects and collabs.

someone who strives to conduct her life in a way that is consistent with her principles. She has found a way to be an activist in a very hands-on manner, doing her part. She follows current events through independent, in-depth media (rather than social media or daily news outlets).

someone who is financially independent. She knows exactly where her money is and has no debt. She is able to both save and donate money every month.

someone who structures her time in a way that takes into account both her responsibilities and her needs. She spends time with her close friends and family members and nurtures these relationships. She fulfills her obligations on time and with a minimal amount of stress. She knows how to gracefully say no to requests. She makes sure to have a lot of time to rest and recharge every week.

someone who looks elegant and a bit whimsical. She spends a minimal but consistent amount of time and effort on her appearance. Her environment is cosy, somewhere between a countryside manor and a cottage, with extra comfort and shiny trinkets.

someone who takes care of her health and her body. She incorporates gentle physical activity, great hydration and delicious, heavily plant-based cooking in her everyday life. She avoids anything that exhausts and hurts her body. She has a resistant, strong body that allows her to do what's important to her, whether it is helping friends move or carrying a child on her back.

someone who makes room for delightful and absolutely non-productive activities in her life. She enjoys opera, botany, food, museums, cultural history, travels across her country and Europe. She happily remains an amateur, with no attempt to become an expert or capitalise on her interests.

Plans for the year ahead...

October - Literature A month to get back into reading, especially classics and novels. So… set up a TBR, read every day, reread an old favourite of mine, limit the number of crime novels to 5 for the month, go to the library regularly, schedule a shopping session in a beloved bookstore November - Thesis A month to jumpstart the final version of my thesis and finish my degree. So… have a whole chapter written up by the end of the month, get in touch with my committee once it’s done, set up regular back-ups on my hard drive and online server, stock up on food and lofi playlists December - Care A month to take care of my body and make myself feel healthy, rested, and strong. So… breathe & stretch once a day, exercise once a day, go on a walk once a week, take regular bubble bath, put on moisturising lotion every day, do my skincare routine every morning and evening January - Looks A month to create my own style and streamline a routine to look my best everyday. So… put on makeup every morning, create a capsule closet based on what I own, identify what’s missing from my closet, pick a perfume that fits me, wear sparkly jewelry and bright lipstick and high heels at least once a week February - Play A month to take the time to play, especially video games, and set boundaries regarding my work life. So… review all the video games I own and list those I want to revisit, play at least twice a week, play in bed with good music and snacks when it’s dark and cold outside March - Career A month to prepare life after graduation, taking stock of my current professional life and setting myself up for success. So… update my CV, curate my online presence, create a database of all my professional contacts, reflect on my skills, experience and goals ikigai-style April - Plants A month to learn about flowers, plants and trees, their uses and symbolism, and roam all the parks and gardens I can find. So… learn about three new plants everyday, compile botanical informations in a notebook and review it regularly, walk in forests and parks, get bouquets from a florist once a week May - Mental Health A month to understand the way my mind works, take into account my specific needs, and set up accommodations. So… read up on relevant topics, list possible accommodations and implement them, identify what exhausts me or stresses me out, spend a couple days on my own June - Future A month to reflect on what I want my life to look like and identify how to get there. So… envision what I want my life to look like in 1, 5, 10 years and plan accordingly, recap where I’m at (esp. regarding administrative stuff and finances), set up my medical appointments for the year July - Food A month to enjoy delicious, healthy, fulfilling food & drinks. So… have breakfast everyday, go to the farmer’s market every week, list restaurants and dishes I want to try, take pictures of all the delicious food I get to try, set up a small liquor cabinet August - Culture A month to take advantage of the vibrant cultural & artistic life around me, leaning in what interests me and discovering new things. So… subscribe to newsletters about culture & the arts in my city, pick an event to attend every week, go to the theater, visit a new city, find new artists whose work I love September - Journal A month to document my everyday life and create memories. So… fill up my weekly calendar, post everyday about the highlights of the day, collect stuff, take pictures at least once a week, reread my old journals & notebooks *** Picking 12 traits wasn’t easy, but I keep some goals for future guides (re-learning German, playing the piano again, spending more time with loved ones) and purposefully exclude others (esp. anything that has to do with socialising more, losing weight, being more productive).

I'll post a detailed guide at the start of every month to keep myself motivated.

With that in mind, and a new month starting tomorrow, let’s go <3

[wiypt-writes]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby.  Day 4: Pink To Make The Boys Wink

Warnings: Bad Language words, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N:  So this all came about as myself, Sweater and Jenn saw a post about Ransom doing everyday things…and yeah, it kinda spiralled. The series will consists of one-shots and drabbles, all light hearted…and the occasional little bit of smut thrown in for your pleasure and we hope a nice countdown to Christmas after what has been an utter shit-show of a year.

We hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist. 

The bedroom was full of sinful moans and groans, and the debauched sound of skin slapping on skin as Ransom’s hands curled around your hips, pulling you down onto him, thrusting upwards to meet you.

“That’s it, Princess.” he panted, your head falling back in a groan as a deliciously hard thrust hit you right on your spot. “Tell me how good it feels.”

“So good, fuck, don’t stop!” you begged and he suddenly sat up, drawing a gasp and a strangled cry from your mouth as his hands curled round your back, holding you to him as much as he could, his legs bent, feet planted firmly on the mattress. One hand slid up your spine and gripped the back of your neck, pulling you down for a filthy kiss as his hips continued pistoning up into you. You felt the heat beginning to rise in the low pit of your belly, the familiar sensation spreading between your legs and you moaned into his mouth.

“Ransom, I’m gonna…” your hands scrabbled at his back, nails digging into his smooth, taught skin as you groaned again, the coil in your belly reaching snapping point.

“Yeah, baby, come on my cock.” He growled, his teeth nipping at your ear. “Fuck you feel so good!”

With a final loud cry, you tipped your head back as you came, hard, Ransom’s hands gripping once more on your hips as he pulled you down harder, picking up the pace racing to his end. His hips jerked, his legs twitched and his head dropped forward to your shoulder, biting down gently as he let out a groan before he stilled completely, his chest heaving. Your hands danced up his back, sliding into his hair before he pulled away and placed a soft kiss to your mouth.

“Quick enough for you?” he smirked and you scoffed, slapping his shoulder slightly as he fell backwards, tugging you with him, pivoting so you were led on your side, his cock softening inside you.

“You’re such a dick.” You said as he kissed the top of your nose.

“You love my dick.” He shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, and my love of your dick is what got us into this.” You said, your hand taking his and pressing it to your bump. His eyes lit up, the way the always did when he felt your swollen belly. You knew it stoked his ego, knowing that he’d knocked you up, marked you from the inside as his, the evidence that you belong to he him in every single damned way right there for everyone to see.

“Well I would say I’m sorry but that would be a total lie.” He said, and with a shift of his hips he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, his hands reaching up and locking behind his head. “What time are you meeting your mom?”

“An hour.” You said, “I should shower and stick the laundry on before I go.”

“I’ll do it, the laundry that is.” He offered, “Although I could also shower if you wanted “he added, with a wiggle of his eyebrow.

“You think you can manage it this time, without shrinking anything?” You asked, your hand resting on your bump.

“Yup.” He popped the P “Especially now you stuck the instructions to the front of the machine.”

“Always better to play it safe.” You smiled “Besides, you shrink another of your sweaters I’m gonna have nothing to wear.”

“I shrank one. And maybe you could try wearing your own clothes.”

“Baby prefers yours.” You shrugged, before you heaved yourself out of bed and padded into the en-suite. You paused and turned to face him, your naked body on full show and his eyes darkened a little as you bit your lip “Thought you wanted to shower.”

In a flash he was out of bed and stalking towards you, causing you to giggle as he kicked the bathroom door shut behind him.

***** Whites, brights, darks…

Ransom nodded to the three piles on the floor in the laundry room and shoved the whites into the machine first, dutifully following the instructions taped to the machine. Once it was on, he headed back into the kitchen deciding that he deserved a break. Fucking his wife all the way to heaven within ten minutes flat, not to mention the after party in the shower, plus then sorting washing, loading the machine and turning it on was tiring work after all.

He made himself a coffee before he headed back into the lounge and settled down with the laptop, checking the latest Newsletter from the Country Club before he ran down the training schedule for the Polo Team that month, checking when his time slots where, not that it really mattered. If he didn’t particularly like a slot he’d been given he’d just kick off until they swapped it for one he did like. Perks of being the star of the team, you got your own way…

He smirked a little as he could hear Y/N’s voice echoing in his head “Story of your life, you’re such a fuckin’ brat.”

Like he gave a shit.

His phone went off, signalling he had a text and he rolled his eyes as he saw it was from his mother, asking if she could expect him and Y/N for dinner that Sunday. Typing out a single word response- “no,”- he dropped the phone back onto the coffee table as he continued his reading, the TV fixed on some trashy talk show in the background.

He was surprised when the beeping of the machine telling him the cycle had finished hit his ears, and as he glanced at the clock he arched an eyebrow. He’d been that immersed in researching up on the youngest age kids seemed to be able to play polo, and where he could find a decent kids team, that he’d managed to actually while away almost two hours. He placed the laptop down on the couch and headed through to the laundry room, grabbing the basket from the side. Bending down, he pulled open the machined door and began to unload the items into the basket.

It wasn’t until he pulled out Y/N’s white Armani maternity dungarees that he realised something had gone horribly wrong.

“What the…” he straightened up, holding the expensive denim item up in front of him, squinting as he did so.

It looked pink!

Deciding it was the light in the room he walked into the kitchen and cursed loudly as they looked even pinker in the brighter room. He stalked back into the laundry room and began to remove the rest of the washing, and to his dismay it was all the same. His riding britches, 2 of her blouses, a few bras, panties, boxers, 2 of his dress shits, his thermal ribbed undershirt, several t-shirts, a polo shirt…

All. Fucking. Pink.

And more to the point, it had all definitely been white when he’d put it in.

Growling in frustration he tipped the washing out onto the floor and there it was, the culprit. One of Y/N’s thongs, a bright red one, poking out of the pocket of his white-now-pink corduroy trousers that he’d worn to the Fall Gala at the Country Club.

Fuck, he had totally forgotten they were in there after he’d kept them when he’d fucked Y/N in the cloak room. Unable to wait until he got her home as the sight of her in that little black dress, baby bump on show had driven him wild, he’d dragged her off for a dirty little rendezvous, and had ended up snapping the elastic around the waistband meaning they were totally useless. She’d been pissed when she realised and had to spend the rest of the night with nothing on…of course, at the time it had been a great source of amusement to him.

Now, well not so much.

He contemplated googling how to fix this, before he decided that he simply couldn’t be fucking bothered. It would likely involve some complicated soaking routine and frankly he had better things to be doing with his time.

Like researching…important…stuff. Man stuff. Man stuff for him and his baby boy.

Nonchalantly, he tossed the ruined items into the basket and set it on top of the machine with a shrug. He’d buy her some new stuff. And if she went ballistic at him over it all, then he’d just have to remind her that it was her fault her thong was in his pocket in the first place, the dirty little minx.

[mediumkravitz]

(This used to be a part of this post, but I figured it wasn’t especially relevant to the topic at hand, so now it’s here.)

Many books discussing butch/fem(me) history point out that a number of women in the scene, particularly fems, were behaviorally bisexual. Due to this—as well as their femininity—fems and fish (a black fem identity) struggled in lesbian communities to be considered “true” lesbians as they were often stereotyped as bisexual. Many butches/studs assumed they were more likely to leave the “lesbian life” because they could “pass” for straight, which, y’know, totally doesn’t sound like how people talk about bi women today whatsoever.

While I’m not necessarily equipped to provide a full MLA-cited deep-dive analysis on butch/femme identity, here are a few quotes (and a very long paper about femme bisexuality if you’re especially curious).

From Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community (1994):

Fems, who never ceased to act on their own initiative, in some contexts were defined as other, as not really lesbian, because of their traditional feminine looks or their active heterosexual pasts.

In keeping with narrators’ varied experiences in finding their identities, the community did not have—nor does it now have—a hegemonic view about how to draw the line between the homosexual and the heterosexual. Many narrators see the butch lesbian as the true lesbian. Other narrators consider anyone who stays with women and is part of the community a lesbian.

The boundaries between heterosexual and homosexual have always been difficult to draw... The gay liberation model made the boundary clear by categorically including every woman who is attracted to a woman. But throughout the twentieth century there have been women who have spent some time in the heterosexual world and some in the homosexual world... Most narrators were aware of these ambiguities and took them into account by speaking in terms of bisexuality, or the pure versus the less-pure lesbian.

It may be important to note that even up until—and during—the 90s, “lesbian” was sometimes defined as “any woman who has at some time in her life loved another woman” (see pg. 11).

Bi butches have been around for a while, too. 

From the 1995 essay “Too Butch to Be Bi”:

But being a butch woman who is also bisexual can be difficult. It feels sometimes that the the idea is so challenging—since the assumptions in our communities are that all butch women are lesbian women and all femme women are bisexual women—that often a butch woman trying to come to terms with being bisexual is stuck. 

[...] But once we find a community that is accepting of our same-sex interests, we run into an entirely different series of messages. A number of these are about appearances and what they are supposed to say about who we are. The ideas about femmes (femme women aren’t really interested in other women, and femme men aren’t really interested in women at all) and butches (butches are always the aggressors in sex, whether they are men or women) permeate our queer culture. These ideas make it difficult for us to explore who we are and who we want to be. Many people feel too threatened to challenge the status quo of an already fringe community, for fear of being outcast from the one place where they have struggled to belong.

From a 1996 interview with Leslie Feinberg:

And I would say that people who were referred to as drag queens, [sh*m*les], female impersonators, drag kings, diesel [d-slur]s, butches, et cetera, uh… Nowadays we think of them sometimes as just being synonymous with a certain kind of sexuality, but in fact there’s a lot of butch women who sleep with other butches, or who are bisexual, and the same thing is true with feminine men.

From the 1997 book Femme: Feminists, Lesbians and Bad Girls:

[Heather Findlay]: Negative Message number three: ‘Don’t date a femme, because she’ll leave you for a man.’ [...] I know tons of butches who have slept with guys, and for some reason there’s not some big stigma attached to that. That doesn’t threaten their membership in the lesbian community, but with us [femmes] it does.

From a 2000 issue of Bi Women: The Newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network:

But I also think bi women like to experiment with the wide range of possibilities along the butch/femme continuum without feeling confined by them. And that’s fun to watch! And I think many people assume that because bi women are also interested in men that they all would be femmes. Oh, how wrong they are—hallelujah for butch bi women!

Femme/butch identities are not static and they are not necessarily constricting, but they can be. Femme/butch arose out of a historical context where woman to woman love was not safely or openly acknowledged... As queer people have established a safer, more visible place in the world, femme/butch have become much more fluid (and perhaps diluted) identities or presentations. 

[sleepymccoy]

Hello! I wanted to ask you this bc I really admire your work and blog, and I get the sense that you're a person who can tackle nuance well (and I believe this topic deserves it). I've tried wording this as best as I could, and I'm sorry that it's very long.

I've started getting the impression that some parts of the Good Omens fanbase have been sort of contained, if that makes sense. I feel like small creators have a hard time getting attention to their work anymore. As if people are only looking at the same handful of established creators nowadays (and that those creators are only looking at one another). And by extension, content really only gets attention if it's liked/shared by certain people. And then on top of that, it really constricts a lot of topics in fic and art that get appreciated.

I know that the hype for Good Omens has died down in the past year and that explains a major dip in interest, but I still feel there's an imbalance. I see genuinely good work overlooked time and time again, and I worry that my own work has been looked over bc it simply hasn't been deemed a fan favorite. For a while it looked like there was an effort to boost smaller creators, but it's seems like it phased out pretty quickly. I will be honest, it's been a little discouraging. It feels like the Good Omens fanbase is a club a lot of us have been almost excluded from.

I wanted to know if I'm just imagining this whole scenario or if it's a thing others have noticed? If others have noticed, what can we do to spread some love?

I'm sorry if this came off the wrong way or like I'm scolding people. Or like I'm whinging like a needy child not getting enough attention. I'm curious and was wondering if it was worth asking someone else about. Thank you for reading! And thank you for responding if you do!

Hey! Thanks for all the compliments lol, that’s lovely of ya

I doubt i’ll be as succinct as you managed.

Overall, I agree. I don’t think you’re imagining things at all and I’ve certainly also noticed a decline in interest in my stuff since the start

This is a total theory, but I’m gonna put it forward cos it makes sense to me. When Good Omens started up everyone followed a load of people to get at the content and were reblogging and engaging all over the place. Spiderwebs of followers were formed. I think there are blogs who end up being more influential than others, it depends on what youre looking for in the fandom who that is for you, but there are always big sort of blogs that just reblog content to share it. I think they’re the things that change.

Cos what happens is interest wanes. Fans move on and go somewhere else. If you’re following and relying on a blog to show you lots of new art and they’re just not doing it any more, then you’re sort of left just seeing the popular stuff that gets cyclically reblogged.

For example, i was following, with notifications on, a blog that reblogged every bit of poc good omens fan art they came across. total mixed bag of quality, but it was fantastic and picked up blogs that were completely unknown to me. The person running it got tired and moved on, so i don’t have access to that any more. It’s a lost thread in my little spiderweb of access that cuts me off from so much and it’s a real loss

Alternatively, and this is the trap i fall into, you follow creators. Like what you said! So, when I see a post i like very much i go straight to OP and (after checking they’re not a terf or aphobic) i follow. This means i get new content from the source rather than relying on someone elses taste to have a chance of seeing it myself. However, it also means i’m not following many blogs that focus on reblogging a range of content, so i miss newcomers. I’m not ignoring newcomers, i simply don’t see them

Both approaches to who you follow come with the curse of as the fandom gets older, you don’t have a clear way to find new content or creators. There’s an early bird gets the worm element to it all

There’s also tumblr weird bad habit of not reblogging things. People who run personal blogs rather than themed blogs will like something and consider their work done, but that does nothing to help new art or new artists, cos it’s not permeated yet. That kills new content and content creators pretty thoroughly

So yeah, i think there’s a lot going on there, but you’re certainly not making it up and a lack of engagement on your posts isnt an indication that people don’t like it, it just means people haven’t seen it or have fallen for their habit of not reblogging things they really ought to share.

In terms of fixing this? That’s a toughie.

I don’t have a fix, but i agree the lethargy is tiresome. It’s a constant effort to get something to take off, i have to reblog stuff four or five times before it starts moving beyond my immediate sphere of influence. But it makes sense, there are less fans and the fans there are aren’t out looking for new people to follow.

but i don’t like ending on a negative, so i’ll talk about some options or ideas! even though i don’t have the kind of influence someone would need to be heard

In my perfect world (and i repeat this is my day dream, i do not pretend it is well thought out or fair for all) i would remove the like function; either reblog it or you don’t get to keep an access. I would see more blogs that reblog content to a theme. I would see blogs that search out new creators. I would see newsletters that name new creator blogs that have engaged recently. I would see blogs that make it a challenge to themselves to reblog art and fic that has less than 100 notes. I would see more low stress fan events, more prompt lists and less organised zines.

But that’s all a lot of work for individual people to take on (except the likes vs reblogs thing, but that a real personal dislike of mine). I’ve tried to take part, I run @goodomensevents which is a blog where i reblog any general community event on tumblr that doesn’t cost money to take part in. But i don’t really think it has much impact, cos i thought of it too late in the game and no one wants to follow new good omens blogs anymore.

which i understand. i’m happy with my dash, i don’t feel like it’s lacking. I love who i follow. my mutuals talk to me and aren’t cunts. And i have no idea how to find new creators even though i may want to.

But hey, if anyone’s running a blog like what i’ve described, please send me a link! Maybe i’ll make a rec list on good omens events lol, see what happens. I’ll definitely follow you

[phantomnostalgist]

What was it like being a phan in the day? Nowadays there's so much to do in the phandom, online roleplaying, fanfiction etc. So what did phans do before the internet was widely popular?

Ooh, good question (and sorry for taking so long to log in and answer, and if my answer is very rambling, as my brain still isn’t working right).

...And my internet went down in the middle of this reply, so it’s twice as rambling as the first version I typed up...

For me it was a mix between pre-internet, and early internet. My first year or two of being obsessed with Phantom, I literally didn’t know other phans existed, so my fandom activities were about tracking down any information or version of Phantom I could, which pre-internet wasn’t easy. The novel wasn’t even in most bookstores! I eventually found another phan via penpal adverts, then met someone else at the theatre. In many ways, starting a fan club was just my way of finding other fans to connect with. I know a lot of people got penfriends via phanzine ads too, so I think a certain amount of phandom happened in people connecting and enthusing together one on one in letters. It was truly an amazing feeling back then, even to discover other people who loved Phantom, who cared about Erik, who had all these feelings I’d initially thoughts I was utterly alone in.

There were fanzines back before mine, most notably Phantom Notes in the US from the late 80s to early 90s, and people were publishing fanfic by mail back in the day too. It was just harder to find until you discovered such things existed, and a whole new world opened up. I wasn’t so much into fanfic, but there were a number of phanfic anthologies in the early 90s, mostly from people in the US. So once you’d discovered a fanzine, you could get into the fanfic scene, but you had to pay for fic, as whomever was publishing it had to pay for the photocopying and distribution. 

The early zines had a lot of discussion amongst fans, like the early email list and message boards, on all aspects of the show and story, but there wasn’t room for things like roleplaying, or the wider kinds of fandom creativity the internet enables today. Most obviously because with a quarterly newsletter, you were waiting months between seeing your letter published, and reading people’s responses. On the other hand, it did make every little thing way more exciting, as it was so much more time and work to track down!  

I think what phans did also depended how near a production we were, as the stage door was another area we could meet and hang out with other fans (and queuing for returns, when tickets were sold out). There were some get-togethers in the early days, often around anniversaries or fundraising events for Broadway Cares, sometimes including theatre tours. The second ever Phantom fan I met was someone I spotted during the intermission who had a Phantom tattoo, so of course I went and started talking to her (and she turned out to be on her 98th show!). 

The early internet days were similar, in that I pretty much connected immediately with the first few Phantom fans I met online - which where through the rec.arts.theatre.musicals newsgroup. I can actually remember the names or screennames of numerous fans I met back then, in about 1995. Then Karin W started the Phantom email list, and various of us most “online” phans spent a lot of time on the #phantom IRC channel (where we didn’t talk about Phantom much, it was more a social gathering space for people who were all phans, and it was a lot of fun though also had its times of fracturing into extreme drama, because we were young and internet etc). People also began publishing a lot more fanfic back then of course, as there were plenty of free webhosts. I don’t think the roleplaying really got going until later on in the internet era, although I think there were attempts at it earlier... Actually I used to get some pretty weird emails from people RPing as “the Phantom”, which I rolled my eyes at at the time, but I look back on it and realize they just wanted someone to RP with, and there weren’t really any forums for it at the time. 

This is an incredibly rambling and disorganized answer (thanks Jack Daniels). I suppose phandom for me back then came into a few areas... First was just my passion for Phantom/Erik, and searching every resource I could find for any information. Then there was actually seeing the show, the stage door experience, getting to talk to the cast and squee over my faves, as well as sometimes meeting other fans. But just as important was having people to write to about it all - initially penfriends, then a couple of people I met, then people subscribing to and writing letters to the fanzine. And the joy of uncovering information - discovering things like the links between Christine Daae’s story and Christina Nillson’s for the first time, for example, which is now well known but was thrillingly exciting 25 years ago. 

Okay, to go back to the original question, what did phans do before the internet was widely popular? Searched for information and thought we were alone in our love for Erik; gradually discovered others who shared our love, and wrote embarrassing teenage confessions to our penfriends, full of our sex fantasies about Erik and certain Phantom actors, causing us to have to get our letters back from them when we later mutually fell out; found or founded fanzines, sharing our views with more phans, and finding fanfic zines; um I think this entry is long enough now so I’m posting it.

[rachelthompsonauthor]

What is social proof? It’s a marketing concept that we are all inadvertently, unknowingly contributing to every time we click on, retweet, like, reply or comment, and share any kind of social media, article, or blog post on the net. Technically, social proof, as defined by Sprout Social is:

The concept that people will follow the actions of the masses. The idea is that since so many other people behave in a certain way, it must be the correct behavior.

Social Proof and Me

As an author, social media is a hugely important part of my author platform, as it is for any writer or blogger. This is how we connect with readers now, even before the pandemic. Virtual, online events are now the norm. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube Live video discussions are the new book signings. Twitter chats are weekly on any number of topics; I have two of my own, in fact, #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est and #BookMarketingChat every Wednesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est.

All important for visibility, branding, and most importantly, connection.

However…there’s a limit. I reached my limit over the course of this past year. It didn’t come all at once. It came, little by little, reaching a peak this past month or so.

Why? How? Me, the so-called social media expert?

Access. Like many people, I have issues with the incredible level of access Facebook gives people once we friend them without our consent. PMs (private messages) are automatic, now with the ability for people to call, voice, and video message us, with no option to shut these options to OFF unless we unfriend the person (we can, however, mute a specific conversation). Technically, we do give them consent in the legal mumbo jumbo we all agreed to when we joined back in the 2010s.

I am not okay with this. And Facebook doesn’t care. Nobody cares. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Karen. Shut up, already. Stop your whining, white lady.” I get it. I do. First-world problems.

I counter with: I hear you. It’s also part of my business. A huge part. Here’s why:

As someone who manages over 70+ various social media accounts as part of my BadRedhead Media business, plus my own accounts as well, Facebook requires I have a personal account in order to manage all those other Pages. I do understand why, particularly with all the ridiculousness of the past four years with the abundance of fake accounts, fake news, and such.

As a survivor of sexual abuse and stalking, this is ultra-concerning to me. So, what happened this past month or so? Suffice it to say, one person repeatedly tried calling me. I never pick up Facebook calls, especially if I don’t know you. Another left me a few voice messages saying they were offended by something.

Yet another left me another message in ALL SHOUTY CAPS that she didn’t find what I posted inspirational enough and she expected better from someone who is “supposedly on the side of authors.”

Oh, and there is the one lady who started replying on ALL my posts to the kind people who did comment that she didn’t think I replied often enough or to her satisfaction.

Well. I’ve been criticized before. You should read some of my 1-star reviews. There’s plenty!

But, for whatever reason, this struck a chord. I got up in my feels. I cried. I talked with one of them and we worked it out because we like and respect each other’s work in the mental health space. The others I blocked. It’s darn frustrating to donate hours of my time each week to helping writers solely because I want to, only to be told it’s not enough. Like, seriously? Fuck off.

My blood raged. My heart sank. Understandable, right?

But what really made me angry is that I put myself in that position by being available. I accepted that ‘it is what it is.’ This is what the social media platforms have given us, so that’s what I have to work within.

I’m too available. It’s too easy to leave me shitty messages. This is why people hire people like me – to handle this crap for them! So they don’t have to read these ridiculous criticisms from judgy people who apparently have nothing better to do or are having a bad day.

And I get bad days. It’s a damn pandemic. We’re all struggling. Where’s the damn compassion for one another?

I have a dislike/hate relationship with Facebook anyway, since about ten or so years ago when I discovered that a past love had died by suicide by going to his personal profile and seeing, “RIP dude,” messages there. We had spoken early that day. It still haunts me.

So…what to do? I’m claiming my time. I’m not posting to my personal Facebook profile right now. I’m ignoring it. I am checking my Pages and of course, my client Pages. When I feel like I can face it again, I will cull my ‘friends’ down from *checks real quick* 4385 people to maybe, I don’t know, the few hundred in my groups, many of whom I do know and treasure.

Social Proof and You

If you’re a writer, social proof matters. This is the world we live in. Publishing is not only writing.

You need to be ‘findable,’ not only on Google, but also on each individual social platform, so your readers can learn more about you and hopefully, buy your books. If you go the traditional route, publishers and agents want to know how many followers you have (easily upped by buying fake followers or likes from Fiverr or wherever). I suggest not doing that, because:

1) fake followers don’t buy books 

2) it’s usually pretty obvious when you have fake followers because they’re all foreign names, have questionable bios, and no tweets

3) do you really want to start your publishing career with a lie? 

They also want to know what you post, how often, and what your branding is. If you’re an indie author, honestly, the same applies. Social proof is about connection, building relationships, and authenticity. I’ve believed that since I started my business and writing career way back in 2011, and I stand by it now. Start slow, grow slow. It’s not a race.

I’m the furthest thing you’ll even find from a conspiracy theorist – I don’t believe in chemtrails, pizza parlor cabals, or that the earth is flat. However, I am a realist. Watch The Social Dilemma sometime. These huge tech companies share our data without our knowledge or consent (Cambridge Analytics, anyone?). Younger generations are so used to this, they don’t really care – ask them.

(My kids think having a chip implanted in their hands with all their data is a fabulous idea. “So much easier than having to talk and repeat everything over and over. Just scan me and be done with it,” says my daughter Anya (21). “Agree,” grunts my son, Lukas (15). Buy stuff, go to the doctor, whatever. Scan and go. Talk with any GenZ kid, you’ll likely get a similar answer. They’ve been tracked since birth everywhere. They don’t know life without a computer, tablet, or phone in their hands.)

Know that whatever we do, it’s all part of each platforms’ AI, and they share data, which is why that darling pair of shoes you just saw on Amazon is now showing up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, and every website you visit going forward. It’s all about the money, and they all get a piece of that affiliate link.

Every bit of every click is recorded, even when you’re watching videos on YouTube, or a subscription service like Netflix, or perusing goods on Amazon. It’s all connected. I’m not shocked or surprised by any of this, are you?

It’s Not Personal

What people say to us and about us is ultimately incredibly revealing about them. We know this, at an intellectual, psychological, and emotional level. Still, when people say mean things, it hurts. We’re human.

Does it matter in the overall scope of our lives? Who can say. It matters at that moment. It can matter when it comes to overall visibility when you’re marketing your book(s) or trying to get that book contract or interview. Only you can say if it matters to you.

Already a longtime fan of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, I took a moment to reorient myself with this one agreement: Don’t take anything personally. I also stumbled across an excellent short and entertaining TEDTalk by Frederick Imbo. His main message to stop taking things personally is two-fold;

It’s not about me. Look at the other person’s intention and

It IS about me. Give yourself some empathy. Speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel and be vulnerable with your needs.

I’m glad I was able to, inadvertently, employ point #2 and work out some issues with one of the people by telling him what he said made me cry. He apologized. I apologized. We talked it through and we’re still friends.

Ultimately, social media is what we contribute to it. What we make it. How much we allow of it into our lives. Social proof is going along with the tide. I’ve been in this space since 2008. Being connected to others is a big part of the work I do to help and support not only other writers, but also other childhood sexual abuse survivors. However, I’ve reached that point. I knew it was coming.

I’m not shutting my doors. I’m just adding a screen. With a strong lock.

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

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The post What Is Social Proof and Does It Matter, Really? appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

[melyaliz]

Remember me 9

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Notes: I have about 2 other chapters “edited” (I use that term loosely) so I’ll try to take some time to post them soon as well.  

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

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Check out my published work.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0- Olive -0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“Oh my god I can’t breath” Olive giggled, crumbling into Eliott’s lap. Her husband smiled down at her gently playing with her hair.

“This is serious Olive!” Eliott said, his smile melting away to a very strained serious one. His dark brown eyes studying her face, “it’s the greatest story ever told. Guy dates a woman, woman’s ex is a mob boss who is involved in illegal fashion, mob boss’s daughter almost gets killed. Now the guy must use his skills from the years of being in the other four movies to get revenge on his girlfriend’s daughter’s father. Tale as old as time “

“I’m just saying they should have killed the guy and the daughter could have gone full ninja killer and taken out her father and his gang.” Olive giggled, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter that had been rolling down her cheeks.

“That would probably have been a better movie… but would it also have bad dummy shots?” her husband asked.

“Of course” sitting up inspiration struck, “I have an idea!” Eliott watched her as she sat straight up. “You write the action and I will write the romance.”

“How much romance will there be if the daughter is 12 yearsold.”

“Well romance and character stuff.” she shrugged, “And you can add in all the poorly done dummy blow ups you want.”

“I will” Eliott said nodded, “But only if I can use sex dolls.”

“Like, Hard Ticket to Hawaii ? Oh wait! Now hear me out” Olive giggled scooting up so she was now straddling her husband taking his hands in her own. A goofy smile spread across Eliott’s face as he weaved his fingers into her own.

“Oh are we at the wait stage of drunk Olive?”

“Shhhh” she giggled leaning forward slightly brushing her nose on his, “But really, this is serious.” Cleaning her throat for dramatic effect she continued, “a Hard Ticket to Hawaii Death Wish 4 crossover.”

“Oh girl,” Eliott said, his voice hitting a higher pitch on his girl . Olive giggled pushing herself forward so she was resting on his chest.

“I love you.”

“No way really?” Eliott gave a fake gasp  “That’s sooo weird because you know what? I love you too”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“ So just be ready ” Kirishima said, prepping the gang, “She’s… the same but different. ”

The group nodded in unison, game faces ready for whatever was coming. And that something was slowly walking toward when in the form of Bakugou and Olive.

Right off the bat it was obvious something was off. While they were holding hands it looked unnatural. Bakugou’s shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Olive who was talking in the city as if she had never walked down this street before. Her large hazel eyes taking in everything, mouth slightly open.

“Olive! Bakugou!” Kirishima said, waving. At the sound of his voice Olive looked up and waved, a smile on her face as she looked over at the group of others standing with them. Her eyes intently taking everyone in as if searching for something that wasn’t there

“ Hello! ” she said as they both stood there awkwardly. Hands had been let go and now hanging at their sides. Limp as if unsure what to do.

There were a few more awkward nodes before Kirishima led them all inside toward the balcony seating, their usual stop. “T his place is amazing! ” Olive said looking around her eyes wide as she took in the atmosphere. Everyone froze as the blissfully unaware woman turned to her husband, “ How did you find this place Katsuki? ”

“ I didn’t, you did .” he said as everyone around him winched slightly. The awkwardness was so thick you could almost taste it, and it didn't taste good.

“Oh.” her voice soft as she bit her top lip looking down at her purple painted nails. She had found her polish that morning and had decided to try out the fun colors.

There was a long pause when Mina spoke up, “How’s Clare and Lilly and the others? ”

Olive blinked looking up, “ You know the girls? ”

“ Yeah we have wine and Rupaul's Drag race nights. I think the last one we did was about a month ago wasn’t it? ” the last statement, more of a question then a comment.

“Uhhh” Olive shrugged unsure how to respond

“ She doesn’t remember it ” Kaminari mumbled to the little pinked haired girl. And again there was a lapse of awkwardness. Turning to Momo from across the table Olive pointed to her shirt.

“ I love your shirt so cute! ” she said, stumbling slightly over her words. Momo lit up pointing to the shirt that Olive had gotten Momo for the hero’s birthday. The words “Females are strong as hell” in English was written in script across the chest. She had gotten it because she always told Momo, who was the 4th hero and number 1 female, that she was the most badass out of everyone (and that ranking didn’t mean shit). Also they were both addicted to “Unbreakable Kimmy Shimitt”  

“ Thank you, I’m Momo '' the dark haired hero said, noticing how much Olive was struggling trying to piece together who was who. Before they had come Momo and her fiancee Shoto Todoroki had decided to treat her like they had met for the first time. “ and this is Shodo my fiancee .”  

“ I’m Mina! ” Mina said quickly and everyone else followed suit with a quick round of introductions.

“ Yeah I have pictures ” Olive lit up at the introduction. “The fair.”

“ What picture did you have ?” Momo asked, leaning forward.

“ This one of the fair? ” Olive said, holding up the phone leaning over the table to hand her the phone. Watching them Kirishima chuckled leaning toward Bakugou.

“ Why are they across the table from each other?”  

Bakugou shrugged, rolling his eyes, not shocked by the poor seating choices. After coordinating this whole night was he really now in charge of seating as well?

“ Oh that was so fun. ” Momo smiled looking at the photo. Memories of her trip to the US where Olive had given her the grand tour.

“ Oh is that the American Fair? What other pictures do you have? Do you have the one from when we all went to that spa? Do you have the one of us in those masks making the peace sign? What about... ” Mina was bursting with questions going way too fast for Olive to keep up. The poor girl’s smile looked slightly strained as she tried to look like she was understanding more than every other word from the excited pink haired girl.

“You’re going to fast for her! ” Bakugou barked out noticing the very overwhelmed look in his wife’s eyes, “ She's still learning .”

“Oh sorry Olive” Mina whispered looking down at her hands feeling her face flush.  

“Don’t yell at her.” Olive said good naturally in English nudging Bakugou playfully with her shoulder. The blonde looked like the wind had been knocked out of him her words cutting him harder than he wanted to admit. “Which picture did you want to see Mina?”

Before the pink girl could respond the waiter came up to introduce herself and take drink orders.  A look of desperation came over Olive’s face as she looked down at the menu. Anxiety quickly flooded her system. The social pressure of trying to be normal while navigating a language she was still learning was extremely stressful. And this was besides the fact she had no idea what was good here or what she would like to order. Did she had a regular drink here? If so, what was it?

Desperately she looked down at the Japanese characters as if they would suddenly jump out and give her all the answers.  

A large hand slammed over the menu making Olive lookup. Bakugou’s intense red gaze met her hazel one.

“I’ll order for you,” he said softly in English, more of a statement than an offer. His red eyes studding her as if reading all her thoughts. She smiled softly at him making him flush slightly looking away from her to the waiter ordering quickly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her hand gently brushing against his arm. Her fingertips leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. It felt like her touch was fire.

Quickly he rubbed his arm as if he could put out the flames that were licking at his skin.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“Yeah well you looked so lost.” he grumbled looking away turning to Kirishima who was intently watching the conversation with the most annoying smile on his face. “ What are you looking at? ” Struggling Kirishima’s annoying smirk didn’t fade but he offered no explanation for his expression.

Typical.

Lucky for Bakugou the conversation shifted to other things. Work, life, weird food Kaminari had tried last week on his trip to Bermuda.

Olive quickly picked up her conversation with Momo about the place she was looking into for her wedding and life in general. Since they were - as Kirishima had pointed out- sitting across the table from each other, Olive had to basically lean up over the top of the table to shout of the music that was playing in the background.

Bakugou couldn’t help but frown watching as his wife literally looked like she was crawling over. Her eyes bright as the two talked. It was the most enthusiastic she had been in a long time.

“If you want to be with her so bad go sit over there, ” he said, it came out much harder than he had meant it to be. But he was annoyed and sometimes -ok most times- had a hard time masking his emotions. Olive blinked looking up at him confused for a moment before getting up from her seat moving over - much to Momo’s delight- to sit down next to her. He could see her pulling out her phone probably to show off pictures of Dolemite. Or maybe to ask more about the people who littered it. He could tell she felt awkward about asking him those questions. Knowing it hurt.

But also he wanted her next to him. To feel her next to him. To know she was still there with him.

“ OMG I love this song !” Mina squealed as a song came on.

“ Let’s dance, ” Momo said, getting up knowing Olive loved to dance. Normally she was the one dragging the girls onto the floor. At the promise of dancing Olive lit up as she stood to follow them. However before she left she glanced over at Bakugou, as if checking in with him.

“Why are you looking at me? Go!”

Olive flashed him a wide smile before following the girls into the crowd. The other two girls grabbed her laughing as they swayed with the music. Not having to talk just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The universal girl code of good music and alcohol.

Three songs later and she was slowing down, taking a moment to breathe looking around the dance floor.

And that was when she thought she saw him.

Long blonde hair pulled up in a man bun. A basic flannel shirt, on the shorter side with broad shoulders leaning on the bar, his back to her.

Eliott

Her brain zoned in on it, for a second she forgot he was dead. Forgot he was gone.

That first month after his death she saw him everywhere. Heard his laugh. Sensed his presence. Slowly it had gotten better. His presence slowly fading from the bright sun of the day to the dark of night or in those first moments when she was waking up. And even more recently his presence had slowly faded. Her brain too busy trying to understand this whole new life she was living to focus on the loss.

But as the man turned and she saw it was clearly not him something washed over her. Hit her right in the face crushing her inside.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Momo came up and hugged her.

“What happened?” she whispered in English as Olive raised her hands to her face trying to stop the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Her chest so heavy it felt like her whole body was filled with sadness and the only way out was through her tears.

“I just… I thought… I saw Eliott.” she hiccuped, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Momo asked, frowning as she studied Olive. Mina, whose English was not as good, hovered around them both rubbing Olive’s shoulder trying to understand what had happened.

“I just… can't stop crying.” Olive sobbed trying to take deep breaths to gain control of herself.

“It’s been a lot for you.” Momo said, “come here” she hugged the girl for a moment before pulling away.

“ It’s ok to miss someone. ” Mina said, holding out a napkin she had grabbed from the bar.

“Yeah and for you it’s been very recent.”  Monmo added nodding

“I just feel guilty… Katsuki.” Olive fumbled through the words trying to explain all the emotions that were swerling like some muddy concoction in her chest.

“ Oh Bakugou can get over it. ” Momo said, waving her hand trying to keep her words simple so both girls could understand what she was saying, “ he gets all moody but he really cares about you. ”

“ Yeah, the first time I met you he was so… relaxed. ” Mina said, trying to find the right words, “ None of us had ever seen him that way before. ”

“ He was happy. ” Momo nodded, “ He will be fine, you need to focus on yourself.”  

From across the bar Bakugou had lost sight of where the girls had gone. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as the night had dragged on. He knew Olive would be safe with Momo and Mina there but still, he wanted to make sure she was ok.

And then he caught a glimpse of them. Standing at one of the far corners of the dance floor. Momo and Mina standing over Olive, hovering around her with concern on their faces. For a moment Mina moved and he could see Olive clearly, holding a small white napkin wiping her eyes.

Shit.

“ Hey bro where are you ?”

“ Just drink your beer. ” Bakugou interrupted Kirishima as he quickly made his way to the dance floor. Momo’s eyes met his and she shook her head but he didn’t care. Olive wasn’t Momo’s wife, she was his. They were supposed to be distracting her, not reminding her about her memory loss.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out for her. Olive turned eyes wide, still slightly glassy from her tears. Her makeup smudged. “Dance with me.” pulling her away from the girls who looked like they were about to protest. But one death glare from Bakugou told them not too.

He led her across the floor, his red eyes studying her as she took a few shaky breaths. Trying to compose herself. After a few moments her body slowly relaxed letting him lead as he felt her slowly lose herself in the music again.

“You dance?” she asked looking up at him.

“Depends.” he said shrugging

“Humm” she hummed, nodding like Eliott was what she was thinking. Eliott Eliott Eliott. Even Momo got more out of her than him. He felt like she was more comfortable around everyone but him. “You know” she said leaning forward resting her head on his chest catching him off guard. “I like to be with you too.”

He froze, his stomach clutching tightly, his breath coming out in a short gasp. She looked up at him with those hazel eyes studying him. “What you said about Momo, I like being with you too.”

“I heard you the first time” he said sharply only to soften quickly.

“I… I obviously liked being with you before or I wouldn’t have married you.” she added a genuine grin spreading across her face.  

“That would make sense.” He said nodding as they swayed in the music both caught up in their own thoughts. Eyes meeting, dancing in the lights overhead. For a second it felt as if time stood still and Olive was sworn she wasn’t in real life but in some weird musical romcom. As if her whole life was some televised novel filled with hi-jinks and drama.

Caught up in the moment Bakugou gently leaned forward, his nose brushing hers before pausing. Her heart leapt into her throat at the soft intimate touch. Crimson eyes searching hazel for a moment before moving closer, his warm breath caressing  her ear.

“Let me kiss you?”

- GET TAGGED -

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

Master List

[holisticsoulhealer]

Heart's Desire - A Spiritual Story

This story is so close to my heart, that I feel I have my heart sitting in my hand as I share it……..

I lost my mum from this earth plane just over a year ago at this point of writing, and it was my greatest loss. She was such a dear friend and confidante. She was my place I could always turn. She was my “go to” and I will miss her physical presence in my life for the rest of my time here. I have a sweet life with a good man, and this is more than enough, yet the space she filled in my life cannot be filled by anyone else. When someone special leaves, there is a gaping void where their sweet being was and nobody can fill that gap.

Adjusting to it is really all many of us can do.

I am so spiritual and psychic. You would think it would be much easier for me with those gifts. I thought it would too. Guess what? It really isn’t.

I stretch to reach for her and yet I’m able to get huge detail for those I read for with the loss of their loved ones. I can so often see in technicolor for them, and for me, it’s simply too close.

My heart desire was to feel incredibly close to her for the rest of my life and to receive messages and knowings that she would send me, and signs and messages that I couldn’t possibly miss.

There have been some huge signs and then there’s been the reality that she didn’t answer or the message wasn’t clear. I am not frustrated, it makes me question how in the way I may be to not be as connected to her as I’d like. I want more. I am left wanting so much more.

I’m being honest about this because I know it will help some of you who are challenged by the massive gap a dearly loved one leaves behind.

I know we are all born to die and that the true graduation of this life is the leaving it behind.

I know none of us get out of this life alive.

However, I forgot how sorry I am when someone that holds a beautiful place in your heart, isn’t on your plane of existence anymore.

What am I doing about it?

Owning it for one thing.

Living my life as best I can.

I am living more heart open and with greater honesty, because I’ve lost one of the greatest reasons to be here, so I must keep finding more great reasons to be alive.

This journey is mine.

Her journey was hers and her life journey is complete.

My job is to keep discovering what my heart came here to feel, express, experience.

This life is about stepping constantly into that which the heart desires.

I am committed to doing that every day until my journey completes.

I really look forward to seeing her again.

Until then I am ready every day to live heart open.

As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven't already done so! We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits! This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings,

Ruth

Get personal with your Angels!! Connect with me and see what they have to say!!

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[hellomynameisbisexual]

I’d go so far as to say that the nomination probably saved the site, in fact. For those who need a little background: despite being a small voluntary project the site was nominated for the 2014 Publication of the Year award by Stonewall, the UK’s largest LGBT charity, just nine months after its inception. This was a landmark step in Stonewall’s positive new direction on bi issues. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time Stonewall had specifically nominated a specifically bi publication or organisation for an award. At this point my co-founder, who was taking care of the business side of things, had recently jumped ship and I was seriously considering packing the whole thing in. I won’t lie, I was astonished to read the email.

I’d worked on a publication which won the award under my editorship a few years previously. Unlike Biscuit, however, g3 magazine – at the time one of the two leading print mags for lesbian and bi women in the UK – had an estimated readership of 140,000, had been going for eight years and boasted full-time paid office staff and regular paid freelancers. Biscuit, by contrast, was being dragged along by one weary unpaid editor and a bunch of unpaid writers who understandably, for the most part, couldn’t commit to regularly submitting work.

Little Biscuit’s enormous competition for the award consisted of Buzzfeed, Attitude.co.uk, iNewspaper and Property Week. We didn’t win – that accolade went to iNewspaper – but the nomination was nevertheless, as I say, a huge catalyst to continue with the site. I launched a crowdfunder, which finished way off target. I sold one ad space, for two months. Then nothing. I attempted in vain to recruit a sales manager but nobody wanted to work on commission. Some wonderful writers came and went. There were periods of tumbleweed when I frantically had to fill the site with my own writing, thereby completely defeating the object of providing a platform for a wide range of bi voices.

The Stonewall Award nomination persuaded me to keep going with the site

The departure of the webmaster was another blow. Thankfully by this point I had a co-editor on board – the amazing Libby – so I was persuaded to stick with it. And here we are now. I don’t actually know where the next article is coming from. That’s not a good feeling. But, apart from for Biscuit, I try not to write for free anymore myself, so I understand exactly why that is. As a freelance journo trying to make a living I’ve had to be strict with myself about that. I regularly post on the “Stop Working For Free” Facebook group and often feel a pang of misplaced guilt because I ask my writers to write for free, even though I’m working on the site for free myself, and losing valuable time I could be spending on looking for paid work.

Biscuit hasn’t exactly been a stranger to controversy, in addition to its financial and staffing issues. Its original tagline – “for girls who like girls and boys” – was considered cis-centric by some, leading to accusations that the site had some kind of trans/genderqueer*-phobic agenda. Which was amusing, as at the height of this a) we’d just had two articles about non-binary issues published and b) I was actually engaged to a genderqueer partner, a fact they were clearly unaware of. Now the site is under fire from various pansexual activists who object to the term “bisexual”. To clarify – “girl and boys” was supposed to imply a spectrum and, no, we don’t think “bi” applies only to an attraction to binary folk. The site aims the main part of its content at female-spectrum readers attracted to more than one gender because this group does have specific needs. But there is something here for EVERYONE bisexual. Anyway, it’s a shame all of this gossip was relayed secondhand, and the people in question didn’t think to confront me about it (which at least the pan activists have bothered to do). We damage our community immeasurably with these kinds of Chinese whispers.

Biscuit ed Libby, being amazing

Whilst trying to keep the site afloat, I’ve also been building on the work I started right back when I edited g3, and trying to improve bi visibility in other media outlets. I’ve recently had articles published by Cosmopolitan, SheWired, The F-Word, GayStar News and Women Make Waves and I’m constantly emailing other sites which I’ve not yet written for with bi pitches. Unfortunately, although I am over the moon to be writing for mainstream outlets such as Cosmo about bi issues, it’s been an uphill struggle trying to persuade some editors out there that they have more readers to whom bi-interest stories apply than they might think. It’s an incredibly exhausting and frustrating process.

Libby and I are doing our best with Biscuit. I can’t guarantee that I would be doing anything at all with it if Libby hadn’t arrived on the scene, so once again I would like to mention how fabulous she is. But we desperately need more writers. We need some help with site design and tech issues. We need a hand with the business and sales side of things. We can’t do it without you. And if you know any rich bisexual heiresses who read Biscuit, please do send them our way. 😉

Grant Denkinson’s story

denkinsonpanel

Grant speaks on a panel chaired by Biscuit’s Lottie at a Bi Visibility Day event

So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in. 


“I’ve been involved with bisexual community organising for a bit over 20 years. Some has been within community: writing for and editing our national newsletter, organising events for bisexuals and helping others with their events by running workshop sessions or offering services such as 1st aid. I’ve spoken to the media about bisexuality and organised bi contingents at LGBT Pride events (sometimes just me in a bi T-shirt!). I’ve helped organise and participated in bi activist weekends and trainings. I’ve help train professionals about bisexuality. I’ve also piped up about bisexuality a lot when organising within wider LGBT and gender and sexuality and relationship diversity umbrellas. I’ve been a supportive bi person on-line and in person for other bi folks. I’ve been out and visibly bi for some time. I’ve helped fund bi activists to meet, publish and travel. I’ve funded advertising for bi events. I’ve set up companies and charities for or including bi people. I’ve personally supported other bi activists.”


What made you get involved?

“
In some ways I was looking for a way to be outside the norm and to make a difference and coming out as bi gave me something to push against. I’ve been less down on myself when feeling attacked. I’ve also found the bi community very welcoming and where I can be myself and so wanted to organise with friends and to give others a similar experience. There weren’t too many others already doing everything better than I could.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“There have been great changes for same-sex attracted people legally and socially and these have happened quickly. Bi people have been involved with making that happen and benefit from it. We can also be hidden by gay advances or actively erased. We still have bi people not knowing many or any other local bi people, not seeing other bisexuals in the mainstream or LGT worlds and not knowing or being able to access community things with other bis. We are little represented in books or the media and people don’t know about the books and zines and magazines already available. The internet has made it easy to find like-minded people but also limited privacy and I think is really fragmented and siloed. It is hard to find bisexuals who aren’t women actors, harmful or fucked up men or women in pornography designed for straight men. We have persistent and high quality bi events but they are sparse and small.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?

“I’m fed up of bi things just not happening if I don’t do them. Not everything should be in my style and voice and I shouldn’t be doing it all. I and other activists campaign for bi people to be more OK and don’t take care of ourselves enough while doing so. People are so convinced we don’t exist they don’t bother with a simple search that would find us. We have little resources while having some of the worst outcomes of any group. I don’t want to spend my entire life being the one person who reminds people about bisexuals, including our so-called allies. I’m not impressed with the problem resolution skills in our communities and while we talk about being welcoming I’m not sure we’re very effective at it. I’m fed up with mouthing the very basics and never getting into depth about bi lives and being one who supports but who is not supported. I’m all for lowering barriers but at a certain point if people don’t actively want to do bi community volunteering it won’t happen. Some people are great critics but build little.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Why are we doing this personally? I’m not sure we know. How long will we hope rather than do? Honestly, are there so few who care? Alternatively should we stop the trying to do bi stuff and either do some self-analysis, be happy to accept being what we are now as a community, chill out and just let stuff happen or give up and go and do something else instead.”

Patrick Richards-Fink’s story

085d4de So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.

“Mostly internet – I am a Label Warrior, a theorist and educator. Here’s how I described it on my blog: “One of the reasons that I am a bisexual activist rather than a more general queer activist is because I see every day people just like me being told they don’t belong. It doesn’t mean I don’t work on the basic issues that we all struggle against — homophobia, heterosexism, classism, out-of-control oligarchy, racism, misogyny, this list in in no particular order and is by no means comprehensive. But I have found that I can be most effective if I focus, work towards understanding the deep issues that drive the problems that affect people who identify the same way that I have ever since I started to understand who I am. I find that I’m not a community organizer type of activist or a storm the capitol with a petition in one hand and a bullhorn in the other activist — I’m much better at poring over studies and writing long wall-o’-text articles and occasionally presenting what I’ve gleaned to groups of students until my voice is so hoarse that I can barely do more than croak.” So internet, and when I was still in school, a lot of on-campus stuff. Now I’m moving into a new phase where my activism is more subtle – I’m working as a therapist, and so my social justice lens informs my treatment, especially of bi and trans people.”

What made you get involved?

“I can’t not be.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“I feel like we made a couple strides, and every time that happens the attacks renewed. I hionestly think the constant attempts to divide the bisexual community into ‘good pansexuals’ and ‘bad bisexuals’ and ‘holy no-labels’ is the thing that’s most likely to screw us.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?



“It is literally everywhere I turn – colleges redefining bisexuality on their LGBT Center pages, news articles quoting how ‘Bi=2 and pan=all therefore pan=better’, everybloodywhere I turn I see it every day. The word bi is being taken out of the names of organisations now, by the next group of up-and-comers who haven’t bothered to learn their history and understand that if you erase our past, you take away our present. Celebrities come out as No Label, wtf is that. Don’t they make kids read 1984 anymore? It’s gotten to the point now that even seeing the word pansexual in print triggers me. I’m reaching the point now that if someone really wants to be offended when all I am trying to do is welcome them on board, then I don’t have time for it.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Stay strong, and don’t give them a goddamned inch. I honestly think that the bi organizations – even, truth be told, the one I am with – are enabling this level of bullshit by attempting to be conciliatory, saying things that end up reinforcing the idea that bi and pan are separate communities. We try to be too careful not to offend anyone. Like the thing about Freddie Mercury. Gay people say ‘He was gay.’ Bi people say ‘Um, begging your pardon, good sirs and madams and gentlefolk of other genders, but Freddie was bi.’ And they respond ‘DON’T GIVE HIM A LABEL HE DIDN’T CLAIM WAAHHH WAAHHH!’ And yet… Freddie Mercury never used the label ‘gay’, but it’s OK when they do it. And he WAS bisexual by any measure you want to use. But we back down. And 2.5% of the bisexual population decides pansexual is a better word, and instead of educating them, we add ‘pan’ to our organisation names and descriptions. Now, this is clearly a dissenting view – I will always be part of a united front where my organization is concerned. But everyone knows how I feel, and I think it’s totally valid to be loyal and in dissent at the same time. Not exactly a typically American viewpoint, but everyone says I’d be a lot more at home in Britain than I am here anyway.”