#makes me endlessly happy

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 07: free space a happy ending

Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch. 

But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.” 

Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch. 

“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream. 

Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.” 

It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet. 

“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.

The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave. 

But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now. 

Remembering the words. 

What are you doing? 

Changing the world. 

So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does. 

Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is. 

His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse. 

It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin. 

Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside. 

"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."

He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up. 

Everything. You're everything. 

He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin. 

"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."

You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise. 

Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody. 

"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."

When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is. 

He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second. 

The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers. 

"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“ 

"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."

"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too." 

"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror. 

They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love. 

Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie. 

I love you. 

~*~

It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days. 

It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie. 

And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now. 

Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs. 

Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient. 

~*~

Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other. 

Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie. 

Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord. 

"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."

Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it." 

And so they do. 

Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means." 

Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."

There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them. 

You know, I always figured it would be you. 

No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.

It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be. 

"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too." 

"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked. 

"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys." 

And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his. 

"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!" 

"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time. 

When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile. 

~*~

It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you. 

It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.

It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression. 

"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.

"Yeah, baby?" 

Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.

"I love you." 

"Hmm. I love you more." 

No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?" 

He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers. 

And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask. 

It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future. 

And there are many, many more after this one.

🌷🤍🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13

god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay

[baker-streets-violin]

re: that last post i reblogged:

"modern watson would be a blogger!" outdated. modern watson would be an accidental tiktok influencer.

[theellipelli]

the man the myth the legend

[flyolai-brainrot]

hih just wanted to come in and say you have a really nice art style! I love scrolling through your blog and seeing your bsd art <3

aaaaaaaaa thank you sm : ]!!!

preview of kunikida drawing i'm still working on for you! (for being so nice)

[dy3rs3v3]

James and Kirk goofing and vibing bts in Paris

Pics by Ross Halfin

[fairyroses]

— SMALLVILLE, “Reaper” (1.17) & “Tempest” (2.01) 

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

craig and tweek have such a perfect fake dating mutual pining friends to lovers plot begging to be written but i have yet to find a fanfiction that does it and it’s killing me inside

[nomsfaultau]

Chapter 3 of Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home is up! Wherein Technoblade refuses to be ensnared in Death’s realm, yet finds he does not understand the nature of his many chains. The more he struggles, the tighter the yoke upon his throat, and yet Technoblade refuses to give up, determined to make his way back to Wilbur.

[woozi]

for my moon, @caratonce 🌙💛

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Gonna get a little personal for a minute but you know what grinds my fucking gears

Introverts on the Internet.

*note, if you identify with the term introvert but aren't a fucking asshole such as I am about to describe, this isn't about you but rather a larger issue I've observed

Cw: self-harm, substance abuse, mental illness (I'll get there)

I don't know who the fuck decided that a distinction nearly as scientifically baseless as your zodiac sign was such a metric to judge people by but Jesus fucking CHRIST

And you don't see "extroverts" doing this shit. I never once saw a post that was like "Hehe I'm such an extrovert I want to force ALLL my introvert friends out of the house!!! They're so boring and lame and weird" but all the time, ALL THE TIME it's "huehuehue I am an introvert I am morally AND intellectually superior. I hate all my friends and am annoyed when they expect me to show them any care or compassion BUT if they stop including me they are bad friends even though I tell them to fuck off when they invite me places. When strangers say hi to me in public I spit on them. Here's a tiktok I made joking about domestically abusing my roommate for inviting her friends over to our house" like fuck the fuck off???

Ignoring the fact that introvert and extrovert DO NOT MEAN "don't like people" "likes people" (they mean "gets energized from being around/not around people") and ignoring the fact that there's significant debate over whether or not this distinction even actually exists in psychology in the first place and ignoring the fact that many of these "introverts" aren't actually introverts and have undiagnosed mental illness or external circumstances that make social environments stressful (coming from someone mentally ill himself who thought she was an introvert because they had shitty friends and were depressed) can we just like. Leave people the fuck alone and not get mad at other humans for having the audacity to BE FRIENDLY!?!?

And it seeps into EVERYTHING. A depressed person who sits morosely in their room staring at a wall forgetting to eat, reading fucking. Catcher in the Rye over and over and over and cutting themselves is "deep, intellectual, etc." meanwhile a depressed person who goes to clubs because alcohol is the only way they can feel anything and they want so badly to be happy with their friends, blacking out making themselves sick, THAT person is "boring, dumb, not respectable"

How do I know? BECAUSE I WAS BOTH OF THESE DEPRESSED PEOPLE.

NEITHER OF THOSE BEHAVIORS SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED. THEY ARE BOTH SELF HARM. BUT NOBODY SHOULD BE MADE TO FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT THEMSELVES FOR HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS EITHER. FUCK.

If you wouldn't be an asshole to someone for cutting themselves, don't be an asshole to someone for alcohol/drug use. Provide support? Yes! Express concerns, of course! But maybe just think about what you fucking say about strangers when you don't know what's going on in their life.

Context: I saw a post that said "If you need alcohol to have fun you're boring"

If you NEED alcohol to have fun, you are struggling with mental illness and you don't deserve to be called boring for it. Fuck. Rant over.

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

[morganupstead]

You know what makes me really happy??

The Rookie is ABC's most-watched drama. The show that has taken over my heart and made all my endlessly bad days better is thriving better than ever.

It just feels so good to have entertainment that you've grown to love and that makes you happy.

I'm not gonna ruin this moment by going on my soapbox but television that you love shouldn't bring you existential dread when you think about it.

When I think about it, I'm just really proud of the cast and the writers who have been able to tell such incredible stories that can resonate with this big of an audience now that has the kind of balance I've been searching for.

I can be the first to say that at the beginning I didn't understand the appeal of The Rookie in some ways, but damn have they TRULY earned this title AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE WHAT ELSE I COMING!!!!

[burinazar]

never knew daylight//could be so violent [x]

-------

Really hurting my heart and brain thinking about Vueko trying to shelter some shred of Belaf’s heart and soul during this time. In the past he was always there for her when she was flagging and needed support and care or just to be seen and understood, and there for Irumyuui too, but of course, the three of them in hell now, there is nothing she can say or do to change that no matter how much of the suffering she wants to put on her own shoulders.

[sevenines]

i find how in fics i’ve read recently, writers (who clearly are normal-to-tall height) write in short characters’ povs sooo interesting. interestingly it’s mostly with peridot (rather than steven or amethyst) where shortness is a fixation. they’re constantly reminded of their shortness and “curse this tall world and tall people!!” when in reality short people don’t always think about being short because that’s just how they live.

[creekfiend]

I booked a flight today to go pick up Flare next month... March 23... 😱😭🥺 aaaaa. Next week the house cleaning/organizing stuff starts and week after that the yard stuff will hopefully be done... it's REAL

I am having many feelings. I'm excited. But also really sad? Idk. Idk idk

[boyswhowawa]

May I have a ref for your foxificer oc?

of course!!

have my creature!!

I lvoe them :)