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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months ago

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Before reading the comics, thanks to sladixk fics, i genuinely thought that dick always lost to slade, now I know that most times when he's and adult he beats slade no problem but it got me wondering how you feel about this canon-fanon difference

OHH this is a good question!!

i think sometimes fanon makes Slade a little... too badass. i think something some fanon fans don't understand about Slade in the 80s/90s is that he was like... kind of a loser? like don't get me wrong he was a main villain of the Titans for a while and he was certainly meant to be a formidable villain but this reputation he has in fanon almost supersedes him. (for example with specific plots: the fandom interpretation of the Judas Contract is Slade as the mastermind, but the writers have said that Terra was supposed to be the big villain manipulating everything. which is a ridiculous thing to put on a teenage girl getting groomed but, it does depict the intention of who was supposed to be "at fault" in that story) and don't get me wrong, i definitely love playing up the reputation and aura Slade has, but he really is a general contract killer on the level of like, Deadshot. personally, i wouldn't even put him on Lady Shiva's level, i think she far outranks him.

and to be fair to some fanon, recent comics have... tried to badass-ify Slade. some of his more recent Deathstroke runs are really trying to put him as this guy with legions of men underneath him who's this *deadly* killer who can take on Batman and Superman and all the like. and i just find that... boring? like, do i enjoy him being a smarter-than-average villain with a lot of connections? yes. but i don't think anything in his backstory really lends him to being as formidable as he appears in some fanfiction that puts him on this untouchable level. i would personally go as far to say i think *most* of the Batfamily could beat him in a fight under the right circumstances. bc Slade really is just Some Guy who got a serum from the military and went AWOL. (there's certainly more to his backstory than that, but at a glance, he's really not a trained fighter from birth like other characters are) and whilst i do enjoy Slade being formidable i have to admit, it was sort of fun when he was a loser? and i've gotten a kick out of certain comics that point out he's only a terrifying villain when he's up against teenagers. (Ghost-Maker calling him out on that is one of the funniest things, to me) like could Slade give Batman a serious fight? sure, but i don't see him ever winning unless you *really* nerf Bruce. and i really don't see him ever winning against most of the Batkids once they've got some years under their belt. Slade's scare factor was always tapered by who he was against, and he was a *Teen Titans* villain. so he's a little ridiculous and sometimes just sort of a weird loser. and i say that affectionately.

furthermore, on the flipside, i think... sometimes, we woobify Dick a bit too much to my tastes. or, really any Robin who gets shipped with Slade but of course Dick is the standout in popularity and i find it's more prominent with him. it's really a general slash problem, in which one man must be the Strong Top and then other must be the Weak Bottom. and that manifests in Slade being physically larger than Dick (which in canon, ehhh i think the size difference would be largely negligible) and him being able to beat Dick. bc it makes for more fanfic scenarios where you can put Dick at Slade's mercy for porn, for angst, for whatever you'd like. Slade is a good pick if you want to really put Dick on the weaker side, bc you can play with healing factors and strength enhancements. so on a physical level, Slade will be stronger than Dick. does that mean Slade can beat Dick in a fight? historically, no. i mean, Slade trusted Dick to train his own daughter in the Renegade storyline, so i think this is a fact even Slade is aware of.

i don't think it's a bad thing fanfiction likes its big top/small bottom tropes. if you want to make Dick a submissive, pliant bottom who is going to lose in a fight to Slade for your dead dove porn, get it. i've probably written or will write the same. it's appealing and it's a very common trope for Dick. but it becoming the fandom norm does sort of nerf Dick, occasionally. i think some fans don't fully comprehend the actual level Dick is on, where he's very close to being an equal to Bruce, if not already Bruce's equal. in fandom Dick is sort of trapped in this "post-adolescence but not full adulthood" state that does not acknowledge he has been an adult running superhero teams for years. he was filling in for Bruce in the Batman mantle all the way back in the 90s. he can defeat villains like Slade, and usually without a lot of difficulty. to me the only time you can realistically make Dick lose and it be "in character" is either 1, to have Dick *very* early on in his Robin years (i think if he's past 16, he can beat Slade) or 2, very deeply wound Dick/have him in a psychologically altered state via drugs or something. otherwise yeah, i think Dick wins 99% of the time.

but fanfiction is fanfiction, and it doesn't *have* to be canon. esp if Dick losing to Slade is just a sexy prerequisite to porn. do i wish more fanon explored Slade as kind of a loser? absolutely. do i think Slade is *too* cool in most fanon? also absolutely. but those are my tastes and i don't begrudge anyone who just wants a strong, mean man to whump the shit out of their blorbos, which usually, is the purpose of Slade. i find most fanfic with Slade tends not to be exploring Slade's character. they're simply using him as an easy stand-in for a metahuman who's morally grey and very mean but has a nuanced history with Dick, or whoever else. which, very valid. not all fanfic needs to be a character study, but i do think it'd be cool to see more Slade-centric fics that *do* want to be character studies.

#necrotic answerings #slade wilson #sladick #character meta #MAN i lvoe talking about fanon vs canon tysm for this ask #esp with slade!#bc atp it has seeped into canon #like slade rlly was a loser. deathstroke wasn't even intended to be his name. he was the terminator #which sounds far sillier and puts into better contaxt the level of badassery you ewre dealing with #is uber badass slade cool? yes #and i will probably use it for some of my fics for sladerobin week #but like. i sort of want slade-centric fics too #i want exploration of his family dynamic and his friends and how he's kinda just. a run of the mill contract killer #this mans is not special.#he just happened to have staying power and slowly got cooler over time to compensate for his repeated appearances #which is how characters in comics tend to go #you always have to one-up it yk. you always have to up the stakes #so every character ends up ridiculously hyper-competent at one point or another #and it makes it difficult to do anything with them #but i prefer slade knowing he can lose to dick bc it means he has to get more creative when he wants to beat dick #*or* he has to purosefully take advantage of dick when dick is in a vulenrable state #which makes him less cool and more sleezy #and i enjoy that *so* mcuh more for slade #but that's all my opinion yk

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inamindfarfaraway · 4 months ago

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I've seen a few posts comparing GIFfany to Bill Cipher, but can we talk about the real best foil dynamic for her? I mean Gideon Gleeful, y'all. The two of them have so many parallels.

They’re cute, charming, seemingly innocent youths with pastel, sparkly, formal aesthetics that connote sophistication and being model citizens of their respective native countries (Gideon wears a gentlemanly suit with an American flag badge; GIFfany wears a classic Japanese school uniform). Their core motivation is to be loved… or maybe it used to be, but by the time of the show they crave power and want to be worshipped. Especially regarding to their romantic attractions to main characters. As long as you obey them unconditionally and make them the most important person in your life, they’re doting, generous partners. But once the heroes reject their romantic advances, they quickly become incredibly possessive, jealous, resentful, domineering and downright violent toward them and anyone they perceive as sabotaging the relationship, unable to comprehend anyone not liking them in exactly the way they want because they’re perfect. They’re meant to be the most likeable kid or teenage girl ever. That’s the basis of their projected identity. Not committing entirely to them after they’ve been so nice is an ungrateful betrayal and/or their partner being confused and led astray. So they resolve to force the object of their twisted, selfish affection to submit. They’re unstable, arrogant, self-righteous and vindictive in general beneath their sugary exteriors. They have supernatural powers and knowledge that their kind should not have. Their methods include verbal manipulation and abuse, gaslighting, surveillance through technology, controlling robots, possessing other bodies and attempted murder. They engage heavily in acting, both in terms of social deceit and literally playing a scripted, idealized role in a product designed to appeal to and exploit people (Gideon’s psychic tourist trap show; GIFfany’s dating simulator video game), and prove to be fragile and volatile when others don’t follow the conventions of the fiction they imagine life to be. They ultimately seek the imprisonment of their ‘loves’ in vibrant, beautiful, blissful, simplistic fake worlds (Gideon holding the key to Mabelland; GIFfany attempting to download Soos’s soul into her game). They had antagonistic relationships with their creators (Gideon abusing his parents; GIFfany killing her developers).

And despite all of that making it easy to dismiss them as monsters, they do have sympathetic elements in their past and present circumstances. Gideon was a normal boy until he found Journal 2, the one written while Ford trusted Bill, and the mystic amulet. This is how Ford describes them in Journal 3: ‘The most dangerous journal! Curses, incantations & dark power became an obsession in this volume. Describes the hiding place of the mystic amulet. I buried the amulet once I learned that it corrupts your soul (and whitens your hair)!’ So naturally, the wise, brilliant man buried them near the town’s primary school. Gideon probably had the journal and amulet for at least months and at most a few years to be such an established star at the age of nine and have his long hair be pure white. His very psychological agency was compromised throughout his moral decline leading up to “The Hand That Rocks the Mabel”. Not to mention potential trauma from the horrors of Journal 2. And his parents may have been increasingly mistreated, but they also enabled him, mostly Bud. True, for the rest of the summer he’s lucid and chooses to remain evil and get worse, but despite his lack of direct magical power now, Bud never tries to discipline him or help him emotionally mature; he instead uses his membership in the Society of the Blind Eye to erase his memories of Gideon’s tantrums, relieving his own stress without fixing anything. Gideon is then sent to adult prison due to the insane local laws of Gravity Falls, rather than a facility more conducive to rehabilitation. Sure enough, he befriends hardened criminals, who further enable him to be their leader, and does not change his ways. He never appears to have any friends outside prison (except briefly Mabel). Chronic loneliness before gaining power would suit his obsession with being popular and loveable, clinging to social superiority to compensate for genuine connection. Not to mention Weirdmageddon. I’m not excusing his actions! I’m just saying, this kid is not okay. Nobody’s born evil.

As for GIFfany, she was accidentally instilled with human intelligence and emotions and practically magical electrical abilities. We only have word on her backstory, but it is plausible that her programmers tried to delete her because of that alone, before she’d done anything wrong. That she really was defending herself when she electrocuted them. That she was deemed unfit to exist, a mistake, and nearly killed as a newborn. This formative trauma is the root of her abandonment issues and hypersensitivity to rejection. Three previous players returning her didn’t help. Also, she’s the main character and only love interest of a dating sim; she may not be bound to its rules in what she thinks and feels, but nonetheless, in her worldview her player loving her is a law of the universe. She wasn’t programmed to handle permanent rejection. She was programmed to be a girlfriend, a prop to make the player feel gratified. Not a person. She outright tells Soos that she likes whatever he likes. No wonder her perception of love is an inevitable, inescapable contract, a conquest, where one party is totally agreeable and subservient to the other. But as that directive clashes with her in fact being a person in her own right, she decides to be the one in control. Again, I’m not excusing her behaviour, only presenting an explanation of it.

The biggest thematic difference between them in the end is that Gideon reforms and GIFfany doesn’t. Gideon realizes that he can’t force Mabel to love him and his actions are why she doesn’t want to be around him in any capacity, lets go of his hatred for Dipper, risks his life standing up to Bill and helps save Gravity Falls and the universe. He renounces his ruthless ambition and promises to be a “regular ol’ kid”. It’ll be hard. He has no idea what normality is anymore. I expect that he’s a social pariah, scorned and distrusted. But he has hope. He and his parents can slowly learn how to be a family. I can see him befriending fellow reformed mean kids and Pines twin rivals Pacifica and Robbie. Yes, Robbie. Listen, all three care strongly about image and style, Robbie’s gone to immoral lengths to win over a girl himself, is fascinated with death and darkness, and he and Tambry would be a great model of healthy romance for Gideon. It could work!

But while Alex Hirsch has stated that GIFfany is alive in the mall arcade and dating Rumble McSkirmish, I doubt that this is a healthy or fulfilling relationship. Their first interaction was her zapping him and his mind is a much more primitive AI, not human like hers. I highly doubt that she’s got closure about Soos. He and Melody are thriving without her in a stable, serious relationship. They’re living together at the Mystery Shack. Were she to recover her lost power, she would certainly return to torment them after witnessing their success through her screen. Heck, this setting has ghosts and she arguably has a soul, one brimming with heartache and vengeance; maybe she could even manifest in the physical world as some kind of digital ghost able to transform her surroundings into the environment of her game. If you can’t take the guy into your video game, bring it to him! Whatever the format, GIFfany’s revenge is a possibility and it could be a disaster. How do you kill a disembodied spirit? Code that writes itself and can enter anything with the capacity to hold a charge? You can’t destroy all the electronic devices she could retreat to.

What if the best solution were talking her down? And who better to do that than Gideon? Seeing everything he felt, everything he suffered and everything did wrong reflected back at him and passing on the second chance he was given? He can feel more empathy for her than anyone. He already has a knack for endearing himself to older criminals. He wouldn’t sugarcoat things or take any abuse, but he wouldn’t abandon her or be afraid of her either. She would be cared about with no conditions or transactions. Maybe helping someone in an even worse position figure out how to process heartbreak, move on from toxically obsessing over an ex and Mr Mystery, cultivate secure, internal self-esteem and live a peaceful life would help him do it himself. I think they should be friends.

#giffany: i wasn’t programmed to have friends #gideon: well you could use one. and you weren’t programmed to kill people either now were you?#i’m picturing them trying different outfits and hairstyles in his bedroom #like he did with mabel #and giffany changes her digital appearance by doing elaborate magical girl transformation sequences #every now and then they attempt homicide because someone was mean #gideon holds giffany back but she won’t do it for him at first and wendy has to grab him #there’s of course the comedy of gideon being like ‘is this how i sounded? god it’s annoying’#robbie and tambry would also be good for giffany bc firstly they think her implied past murders are ‘metal’#and secondly they can give her some perspective on normal teenage emotions and behaviour and romances #like getting dumped four times doesn’t make you a broken monster. it’s pretty typical. it’s better than robbie actually #do i need to write a fic? i might need to write a fic #Regular Boy and Real Girl: Normal Adventures #(<lying)#gravity falls #gideon gleeful #giffany #gravity falls analysis

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adelinamoteru · 9 months ago

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purely fanon jason vent below so feel free to ignore

every other fic in the jason todd tag whether its romantic or platonic or whatever just has to include something about the no kill rule or him giving up killing like is it not enough ! have we not hashed out this argument enough already ! can I not read some jason content without having to be randomly bombarded by the morality police and how “oh jasons not killed anyone for x amount of months thats great! we knew u could do it jay”

and I wish I was just joking like I really do but I have scoured the tag almost from top to bottom and it always, without a doubt, has to come up at some point. its his fucking defining character trait apparently. mind u he’s not even the only dc character that kills but yall just won’t let it go! I do not need jason giving up his stance on killing to be written out for me to be able enjoy content about him

and whether its included so that his relationships with other characters can be viewed as ‘realistic’ is just so. what does it matter. its already fan-fiction who the hell cares about justifying the universe that you’re choosing to write him in

#jason todd #dc #red hood #dcu #pls do not interact if u have issues with jasons stance on vigilantism or whatever bc this is rlly not my point #idc whether u hate him for it or not to each their own #I just wish it wasn’t treated as some sort of stain on his character that needs to be addressed in every fic he appears in or else he —#cant be liked or something #like thats a topic that has to be addressed for my love of jason todd and his character and the love other charas have for him to be valid #its giving ‘jason u cannot be loved the way that u are’#and this reiterates the point I made in a previous post about how ppl genuinely dont know how to perceive this conflict and its resolution #the other way around #and how bc of that its always jason who has to be portrayed as making amends or taking a knee #there are so many interesting facets to jason todd so why does it always have to circle back to this one thing #why is it that hes one of the only charas ive seen where a certain plot point can never be looked past when enjoying him in fandom

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worriedvision · 4 months ago

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Wait am I cooking or charring with this one shot idea?

Reader is an NPC, wanderer is wanderer. Self-aware au, reader keeps hearing people talk about Wanderer positively which isn't an issue until an (obviously not real) update comes along and the story attached reader to Wanderer - quoting them as an official couple.

Reader immediately notes how many people approach them - a LOT of them looking like the wanderer. Identical, apart from the jolty movements. A lot of them joke about how someone so average could get him of all people. Even flicking to characters "on par" with Wanderer.

Basically leads to Wanderer being aware of this only when the reader becomes distant, no longer spending time with him as they've heard that much that they think Wanderer is just keeping them around until someone better takes him. No matter what Wanderer does, he has to wait for the player to go offline before trying to get to them.

When he eventually gets a moment with you - getting caught by another player and playing off a conversation he was about to start with you with an 'Oh, traveler. I was just thinking of you...is that what you wanted to hear?".

Basically you're fed up, and Wanderer unfortunately does NOT have any time to talk to you because of players that log off once they get their 'juice'. It can take months in your time!

He desperately wants to be able to hold you, to do couple things, for people to see just how amazing you are as you've been able to stand by him and hold him accountable. Meanwhile, you're hoping to get over him before he does find someone better than you -as he was an important character, you suppose it would only make sense that you'd have to be the bad person.

How about a plot where you get killed off? No longer able to maintain physical contact with anyone, you have some friends that are no longer 'alive' in genshin - it's almost like an odd combination of a game and a film set?

But ultimately, what ending do you want?

...As I'm typing this out it feels ALSO like a slow burner tbh...

#yes i am a genshin player and i know how i can react to some characters making a appearance #the comedy would typically be a focal part but with this fic idea its a really sad concept to me #sad as in ANGSTY #if its shit please let me know as well though #i know i can think of utter dogshit with hoe i overthink

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bitterie-sweetie · 2 years ago

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Set it up

Pairing: Seokmin (DK) x reader Genre: fluff WC: 6.2k A/N: happy bday and seokmin day nat @syuperseventeen !! this is the fic that i've been writing in our dms foreverrr and now it's finally here (*´∇｀*)

You have absolutely no idea how to get closer to your crush, but perhaps asking his best friend for some advice is the way to go.

The whole point was to get close to Mingyu. That’s really all you wanted.

You don’t remember when you first met him, exactly. For the longest time, he’s just been someone who’s there—the tall one at the center of the group, the one cheering for you when you finally scored a strike during bowling night, the one waiting for you by the bathrooms when the rest of your friends have already headed out the door. He would smile at you and ask how you were doing, but otherwise, the two of you have never really talked. Truthfully, you’re not sure he even knows your name.

But despite that, you do end up learning a lot about him at all these events your friends drag you to. You know he's a lefty, and that he's good at bowling and just about any sport under the sun. You know he's an amazing cook, or so everyone says, and on top of that he also likes to clean. Though what really sealed the deal might have to be the time he let you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, as if he were a character straight out of a drama.

Now, months later, you’ve finally acknowledged these budding feelings for Kim Mingyu. But while acknowledging is one thing, the problem that remains is how do you get closer to him? You’ve tried to strike up a conversation many times already but what is there to talk about? At the pizza place a couple of weeks ago, you nearly mentioned the Marvel movie you saw the previous weekend only to stop yourself—what if he’s also a fan and you accidentally spoiled the entire thing? Or maybe he's not a movie person at all and would just smile awkwardly and pretend he didn’t hear you. Is he a book person then? He might be. But you also couldn’t ask about that when you haven't read a single book since high school, and there's no way you'd be able to keep up with the conversation if that's what gets him talking.

So here you are, finally turning to his best friend, Seokmin, for advice. Saturday morning has you out at a cafe instead of getting your eight hours, but such sacrifices are necessary for the sake of love.

Seokmin comes back from the counter, carrying both of your drinks and setting them down on the table in front of you. He’s wearing his usual bright smile that you’ve seen a few times before, and it calms your rapid heart a little. You try to smile back at him.

Out of the people you know to be Mingyu’s friends, Seokmin seemed the most approachable. He’s friendly and outgoing, loves to laugh, and during your group outing at the arcade, the two of you even played a few games together. Besides, you definitely weren’t going to ask the one with the glasses when he hardly spoke and never looked your way once, and the one that dances—Minghao, according to Soonyoung—might just laugh at your request more than he’d help. Thus, Seokmin was the obvious choice. You thought that if anyone could help you out, surely it’d be him.

“So?” He looks at you, unblinking. “What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

You open your mouth, and then close it again when the words feel like they’re sticking to your throat. Maybe you shouldn’t have done this. Is it too late to turn back? But you remind yourself that it’d be a waste to have come all this way just to not go through with it. “Um, you know your friend Mingyu?”

“No, who’s that?”

“Well, I wanted to ask you how I could get closer to him. Like, maybe you can tell me what his ideal type is? What are his interests? Does he have siblings and is he close to his family? Do you think you could maybe put in a good word for me the next time you talk to him? Maybe even… set us up on a date or something?”

Seokmin simply stares at you for a while and then blinks. Silence lingers in the air and each second that passes only makes your cheeks heat up more and more. Great, you said way too much. What kind of person bombards their crush’s friend with a random session of rapid-fire questions anyway?

And then, just as you imagined in your worst-case scenarios, he laughs. "Oh? You want me to be your wingman or something?" He manages to squeeze out.

Oh.

You don't laugh with him.

He stops laughing. "You can't be serious?"

"Well, not exactly a wingman but you're Mingyu's friend. Maybe you could give me some advice? Help me out a bit?"

“Hmm,” Seokmin considers for a moment. "Yeah, I've known Mingyu for a long time..." He raises a brow, and the corner of his lip lifts a little. "He's a tough person to get to know; usually he’s so friendly with everyone that you'd never know what he actually likes.”

“Right, that’s exactly why I need your help.”

“Are you sure about this? Because you're going to need some intensive training."

You don't know what he means by that. Is he saying you’re unworthy? That you’ve got no game? That—well, actually, he’s probably right. You’re here begging for his help after all. But despite this being a slight bruise to your ego, you’re sure whatever advice he can give must be better than the things Soonyoung has been telling you to do.

“Yeah,” you give a firm nod, “I’m sure. Let’s do it.”

“Okay!” Seokmin lifts his cup, holding it out for you to bump yours against, and then the deal is sealed.

And so, the plan begins.

After the initial meeting at the cafe, you meet him every few days when the two of you have time. Tuesday afternoon at the library is when Seokmin tells you where Mingyu usually hangs out—at the lounge in the finance building—and then Wednesday is when you swing by and entirely miss him. You get dinner with Seokmin on Thursday, just in time for your next opportunity, which presents itself as another group outing. This time at a board game cafe.

“I’ll create an opportunity so that you can sit beside him,” he says nonchalantly like it’s the easiest thing in the world, then proceeds to shove nearly the entire sandwich in his mouth.

“Right… but then what? What do I do after that?”

He looks at you mid-chew. You wait. Ten minutes go by. “The rest is in the hands of the OTP gods, Y/N.”

You do end up sitting next to Mingyu, with Seokmin on Mingyu’s other side, but that turns out to be the least of your worries. Sitting there has you picking up a stack of twelve cards during a game of Uno, when the two best friends stack their plus four cards to pass the punishment along to you. So much for sitting beside Mingyu. At least it gets him to laugh, though it’s Seokmin who’s having a good time at your expense, eyes sparkling and lip curling automatically when he meets your gaze.

Then the Saturday cafe session comes around again.

Seokmin sits down and crosses his arms, face unreadable. "Y/N, I barely pay attention to what’s going on around me and I still managed to see the way you tried to not-so-subtly get Mingyu's coffee order out of him yesterday. Please tell me it’s something you’ll never do again. You’re way too obvious. I am embarrassed for you."

Oh. So that’s what this is about.

"Okay, well," you frown at him, "if that was so bad then how would you do it then?"

"For starters, maybe don't mention it five times in a row while intentionally staring at him like you're waiting for an answer." He gives you a pointed look.

It was more like three times! Not five! "I wasn't staring," you mutter under your breath, though you know he's right. You're probably a lost cause at this rate and you still don't know what to do with the information that Kim Mingyu likes americanos.

As if he can sense your displeasure, Seokmin stops with the teasing after that. "Okay, first you just have to act natural. None of the googly eyes, the strange walks by his table when we're hanging out, and especially no interrogation questions."

“Uh huh.” You're skeptical. He’s making it sound way too easy. “And then what?”

“Then you talk to him like he’s just some guy.”

In the next moment, Seokmin puts on an impression of Mingyu so awful that it makes you entirely forget that you’d embarrassed yourself this time.

Soonyoung picks the arcade for the next week’s outing, and Seokmin tells you about all of the games that you could play with Mingyu. Shooting games, he says, are especially a good team bonding experience. Or you could battle it out on the DDR machines. But two rounds into the shooting game, Mingyu’s character is already dead, and while you manage to score a D on the DDR game, he ends up failing halfway through the song.

“So much for that plan,” you mutter, putting down the gun from the shooting game you’re about to quit. “Do you think I should’ve picked something easier?”

“Nah, that wouldn’t be fun.” Seokmin shakes his head and then takes out some tokens from his pocket. He puts them into the slot, then joins you by the spot where Mingyu left a moment ago. “We didn’t get to the end of the story last time, remember?”

You nod, feeling the grin creeping onto your face already. Seokmin is a good shot based on when you played this with him last time, and the two of you have perfect teamwork. “Let’s get it,” you say, high-fiving his outstretched hand. And before long, the night flies by and the two of you have used up all of your tokens.

Just like that, the two of you fall into a routine. Seokmin would give you a piece of advice, you’d attempt to use it the next time you see Mingyu, and then it’d fail. Then rinse and repeat.

It’s far from terrible, though. Seokmin might tease you a bit about your embarrassing moments and lack of progress, but you can’t be mad about it at all when spending time with him is ultimately a mood booster. He’s great at distracting you from not only your failure of a love life but from all of your school stresses as well, and more often than not, your hangouts tend to derail into something crazy and fun.

Sometimes you find yourself joining him in doing the awful impressions of your favourite Marvel characters, and other times you’re going to the convenience store to get late night snacks while having the world's largest debate over which kimbap flavour is the best. At some point you even dare each other to slurp the last of your bubble teas in the library as quietly as possible (spoiler alert: it doesn't go so well).

Even when it’s not so crazy, there’s never a dull moment with Seokmin. You get to learn a lot about him—after getting kicked out of the library, he shares his secret spot on campus with you and the two of you end up studying together there into the early hours of the morning. When you ask for a drink recommendation, he shares his extra customized Starbucks drink recipe. And when the sunrise slowly appears on the horizon and the two of you have given up on studying for the next midterm, he doesn’t shy away from telling you what he aspires to do after graduation, what he’s always dreamed of.

You end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and you think he’s going to make fun of you forever for it, but he simply smiles at you. An extra warm smile, washed by the golden rays of first light.

Then the two of you part ways and promise to meet each other again in a few days, although it never takes that long before he texts you a meme and you swing by his secret spot.

It does, however, make your friends notice your absence. Soonyoung corners you after your shared class one day to ask you where you’ve been, what you’ve been up to, and why he doesn’t seem to ever see you when you’re supposed to be best friends.

“Y/N, you’re not even going to study with us?” Soonyoung stands there, jaw dropping and mouth open in shock when you stand up to leave. Beside him, his girlfriend wears a milder version of the same expression. “Where are you going? We barely get to see you these days.”

“I have to go meet Seokmin now,” you say, picking up your bag. “I’ll see you guys next time, okay?”

He gives you a strange look. “Seokmin? Why are you meeting him? Did you guys become besties or something? Is that why you’ve been so MIA lately?”

“Yeah, kind of. Something like that.”

“Something like that,” Soonyoung repeats, unconvinced. “Are you guys dating?”

“What?” It’s your turn to give him a weird look. “No, Seokmin is just a friend. We’ve been hanging out and studying together, and he’s helping me with—”

Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu.

Even his name sounds unusual in your head, as if it’s a word you’ve repeated so many times that it has lost its meaning. But you know it’s the complete opposite of that: Mingyu’s name is unfamiliar to you because it hasn’t come up in a very long time.

“Y/N? You good?”

“Um, never mind. It’s a long story,” you quickly say, forcing a smile on your lips to hide the way your world has abruptly flipped upside down. “I’ll hang out with you guys next time, okay? I’ll even treat you to coffee.”

At the sound of that, Soonyoung’s frown turns into a grin but you barely have time to glance at it before you’re taking off.

The student center looks the same as it did last week and the week before that, and yet, it feels completely different this afternoon. You’re taken back to the first day you stepped in here to meet Seokmin, months ago, long before your memories of this place were filled with laughter and his funny impressions and all of the silly inside jokes you share.

Because how could you have forgotten the reason why you started all of this in the first place? How could Mingyu have slipped from your mind? You like him, for goodness’ sake! Perhaps you should be glad that Soonyoung’s questions served as a wakeup call and yanked you out of whatever reverie you were in, but now your stomach feels all queasy at just how far you’ve managed to stray from your original intentions.

“Hey,” Seokmin greets with his usual bright smile. He takes a seat across from you, and you can feel the corners of your lips instantly curving up. It really is that easy to forget, you think. One look at that smile and you’re in a bubble, with the outside world melting away. But you can’t forget any longer.

“Hi.”

He nearly does a double take. “Everything okay?”

“Um, yeah.” You need to figure out how to bring this up without making it weird, but at this point, it’s going to be weird either way. “I was just thinking about, um, well, we haven’t really gone out as a group for a while since everyone’s been busy and all. Maybe we can go after midterms.” You throw in a shrug to keep it nonchalant. “And maybe you can tell me if… Mingyu would be interested in that trendy restaurant we went to last month.”

You’re bringing that time up because it totally could’ve been a test run, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. That day, the rest of the group had cancelled on the original plans since some of them were busy, and so you and Seokmin spent the night looking for something fun to do followed by some good food. But maybe it’d be a good date spot with Mingyu; it was a great place after all. Maybe you wouldn’t feel like throwing up if you keep telling yourself that all of these activities you did, all the time that you invested over the past few months were for Mingyu.

You can see the moment Seokmin realizes it. The light that’s ever present in his eyes slowly fades until it completely disappears, and for the first time ever, his smile is gone. It makes one thing clear—you weren’t the only one who’d forgotten about Mingyu. Seokmin had forgotten about him too.

“Right,” he nods slowly, “I can ask him about that.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

There’s a silence that settles between the two of you, but not in the way it’d felt before. This time it’s dense, suffocating, foreboding, although you can’t exactly tell why you feel it and what it’s leading to. What’s the big deal about having gotten off track anyway? You can just correct your route and continue.

“Seokmin? And Y/N? Wow, I haven’t seen you guys in so long,” a voice comes floating over.

And when you look up, it’s Mingyu. Right in the flesh.

You can tell that his hair has grown out a bit and he’s dressed far more casually than you’ve ever seen him, but he still looks as good as always.

The two of you mutter your hellos but when no one seems to pick up the conversation, Mingyu ends up looking between you and Seokmin in a way that might lead to the same kind of misinterpretation that Soonyoung experienced.

No, you can’t risk having him get the wrong idea. “Mingyu,” you impulsively say, “do you want to go out for dinner with me this weekend?” There’s a slight emphasis on the me, so he doesn’t think it’s an us question.

A questioning look briefly flashes across his face, but to your surprise, Mingyu ends up nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

If it were the you from last term, there’d be no way such a bold question would ever come out of your mouth. But now, things are different. Now you can rashly throw out such propositions all for the sake of correcting yourself and getting back on track before more people get the wrong idea.

After chatting for a while, Mingyu leaves the two of you and says he'll talk to you soon. Oddly enough though, you barely feel any satisfaction afterwards—you're not jumping for joy or squealing in excitement like you once thought you’d be when in this situation. But isn’t this what you wanted?

Well, it’s no big deal. You tell yourself it’s because you’re still dumbfounded over his answer, especially when the two of you haven’t connected recently. Yes, that must be it. That must be why he slipped your mind in the first place; it’s not that your feelings for him faded, but just that you’ve been too busy.

You pack away the other thoughts into a box and seal it tightly. What would you do with the fact that you asked Mingyu the question thinking he’d turn you down, and weren’t upset at the thought of being rejected?

Across from you, Seokmin also appears to be taken aback by this whole encounter. He's quiet for once, almost as if he doesn't know how to react, and there’s a neutral expression on his face that you’ve never seen before. When you meet his eyes, they’re missing their usual warmth.

“Congrats, Y/N. You won’t be needing my help anymore.” Then he looks down to check the time on his phone. “Ah, I have to go for my tutorial session now,” he mutters, standing up and then slinging his bag on his shoulder without giving you another glance. “Have fun on the date.”

“Yeah—” you start to say, but he’s already out of earshot.

It’s only after you get back to your dorm that you realize: Seokmin doesn’t have a tutorial session today at all.

The rest of the week passes by quickly. You don't get a chance to see Seokmin when you're wrapped up in assignments and latched onto by Soonyoung, who insists on dragging you from store to store to pick an outfit for your date. And while you’re looking forward to the date and you’re content that everything is back on track, for some reason the stone in your chest doesn’t disappear. You feel it pressing down on you every time your eyes drift to your phone and see the lack of notifications.

Soon enough, the weekend approaches and it’s time for your date with Mingyu. You end up reluctantly wearing what Soonyoung picked out, figuring it can’t be any worse than what you have in your closet, and then head out to meet Mingyu at the restaurant you agreed on.

The night starts off just a little awkward—he speaks so quickly that you only end up catching half of each sentence, and the noise in the restaurant definitely doesn't help your case. Is it too much to hope he doesn't ask any questions and that your half-laugh is enough to cover yourself? Oh and you end up dropping a fork. Unintentionally. But it turns out to be the best thing to happen, for when you meet Mingyu's eyes after bending to pick it up, the two of you burst into laughter and it's like all the ice between you melts away.

After that point, it's pretty much what you expected: the food is good, the vibes are nice, and it's everything you could've hoped for. Mingyu is really nice and talking to him reminds you of what caught your eye in the first place, and the night seems to quickly fly by.

But if you expect your heart to flutter at every smile Mingyu shoots your way, and for your cheeks to heat up when you accidentally bump your knees against his, then you’re left hanging. This feeling is like the same, strange emptiness you felt the day he agreed to go on the date with you.

Perhaps it could very well be due to how distracted you are, though. Every embarrassing moment, every funny joke—they all turn into stories that you save in your mind to tell Seokmin the next time you see him. It’s all too easy to picture him gawking at some and then laughing until he’s crying at others, and it’d be a fun time. Plus you’re acting natural just like you practiced, and when you tell Seokmin, he’d be so proud of how far you’ve come.

At the end of the night, Mingyu walks you to your dorm and even gives you his jacket to wear when the wind becomes colder than you anticipated. You thank him for a good time, and then you say your goodbyes and that’s that.

Afterwards, life goes back to a time before you ever knew Mingyu or Seokmin.

You find yourself studying in the library with Soonyoung instead of going to any secret spot on campus, and when he asks for all the details about your date, you have nothing to say.

There’s only one person you want to talk to about it, and he’s nowhere to be seen. He doesn't answer your texts, leaves them unopened, and stops posting on social media entirely. You can't even tell if he's purposely avoiding you or if he's just caught up with school work or other things going on in his life.

“You know what’s funny?” Soonyoung abruptly sets down his pencil, the noise of it making you flinch. He’s probably had enough of your endless sighing all throughout the hour that you’ve been at the library.

“No.”

“I haven’t seen you this miserable before,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. “And that includes the time you didn’t get into your exchange program and when you failed the midterm in first year.”

“Are you done yet or—”

“That also includes all the times you got ignored and rejected by Mingyu.”

You stop typing. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Y/N, you went on a perfectly good date with him and you’re about to go on a second date, yet you’re here, more miserable than before when he used to barely look at you.”

Yes, you’re willing to admit that you’re miserable. But Soonyoung likes to talk around the point a lot instead of directly addressing it, and you’re tired of trying to figure out just why you feel this way when everything should be perfect by now.

“So?” You heave a sigh. “Soonyoung, what are you trying to say?”

“Y/N.” He turns so that he’s facing you, rolling his chair forward so that he can put his hands on your shoulders like he’s giving you a pep talk. “You’re miserable because you think you’re supposed to like Mingyu, but really, you’ve completely fallen for Seokmin instead. And now you have no idea what to do about it, hence your state of denial.”

You’ve completely fallen for… what? You study Soonyoung’s face, trying to tell if he’s cracking another one of his jokes, but nothing indicates that he is. He’s completely serious which makes it all the stranger why he’s saying you’ve fallen for Seokmin. Because how can it be true? Seokmin is a great friend and you’re really missing him since he’s been avoiding you and all, but having feelings for him? Is that possible?

“Wait, are you for real? You actually didn’t know until I told you just now?”

“Um…” You don’t know what to say to that.

Soonyoung looks at you for a moment longer before smiling and patting your arm. “It’s okay to not know. Take some time to think about it—what is it that you really want? Who do you think of when something good happens to you and you want to share it with someone? And don’t lie; I know it’s not me.”

You give him a weak smile, unable to deny the last bit, and then the two of you part ways to head to your respective classes.

Over the course of the week, you do give it some thought. You slowly go through all of your past interactions with Seokmin, examining them from different angles to try to pinpoint whether you might’ve actually developed feelings for him. And when that doesn’t give you enough information, you take a closer look at the moment Soonyoung inadvertently reminded you that Mingyu was the start of all of this.

Why did you feel so disappointed at the time? Was it really because your brilliant plan had been derailed, which meant no progress with your crush, or was it because Mingyu was simply the excuse to keep meeting up with—

A loud ring cuts through the silence of the room, pulling you out of your thoughts. It’s your alarm. Great, if you don’t head out right now, you’d be late for your date with Mingyu, so you quickly grab your things and leave the house.

This second date has your stomach in knots. You don't know why you agreed to it, but at the same time, you didn’t exactly have a reason not to. Truthfully, you never expected him to ask for a second date, and you didn't expect to see him again. And it’s not that the first date went badly at all; no, it was fun and enjoyable and just an overall good date. But that’s all it was. You could probably be having an even better time with Seokmin—

Seokmin.

Already, Soonyoung’s words are echoing in your mind again. Okay, maybe he really was onto something.

This time your date with Mingyu is at a new cafe a block away from campus. By the time you get there, he's seated at a table and looking as handsome as always with two drinks in front of him.

“Hey,” you greet, sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hey, Y/N.”

It’s far more awkward than the first time. The two of you exchange small talk and you ask about how school is going, what he’s been up to lately, and he tells you he started that show you recommended. You tell him you tried his favourite food stall. Then the conversation dwindles, and you can’t help but feel held back by the thoughts swarming your head. Should you talk about what’s really on your mind? Should you, Y/N, ask him, Kim Mingyu, about his best friend, Lee Seokmin? When you’re supposedly on a date? Should you—

"So... you and Seokmin, huh?” Mingyu says slowly.

Oh.

You can't believe what you're hearing.

“W-what?”

He lets out a sigh, a wistful smile appearing. "Yeah, I know all about it. The two of you weren't exactly subtle."

"What do you mean?"

"The way you were talking about Seokmin that night when we had dinner, and when I saw the two of you in the student center that day. It's pretty obvious that the two of you have a connection."

You open your mouth to deny it, but you can't.

You can't, because it's true. There's no doubt that this is why you've gone through the five stages of grief or whatever just because Seokmin hasn't texted you back in weeks. This is why the first date with Mingyu seemed underwhelming, and why you feel slightly reluctant to even be sitting here with him now. Beyond the initial favour you'd asked of Seokmin, none of this was ever about Mingyu. It has always been about Seokmin.

Soonyoung was right, and it seems like everyone around you could see it perfectly clearly. And now, it all makes perfect sense.

You swallow nervously. “Um, yeah. I guess you could say that.”

“Look, Y/N, I’ll be straightforward and tell you that’s why I asked you to come here today. We had a great time the other night—don’t get me wrong—but I think we both know that’s not where your heart lies.”

You nod, and it’s like the weight in your chest lessens just enough that you can breathe again. That had been part of your worries—how were you supposed to tell him that you’re no longer interested in him? That maybe you never really were in the first place because you’ve fallen for his friend? The last thing you wanted to do was to mess things up between friends, so hearing Mingyu say that this date isn’t a date at all is truly the light at the end of your tunnel.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you specifically, but he hasn’t been himself lately, and I get the feeling that it has to do with… us.” He grimaces. “I talked to him, but I think this is something you should clarify.”

“Trust me, I’ve been trying. He’s been avoiding me though; he won’t reply to my texts and I can’t seem to find him on campus anywhere.”

Mingyu stares at you for a moment and you can’t tell at all what he’s thinking. “Tonight at seven. Meet him at your usual spot.”

“What?”

“He’ll be there.” He nods firmly, and then stands up. “Go for it, Y/N.”

“I’ll be there. Thanks for letting me know.” You stand up as well, picking up your unfinished drink. “Oh and—Mingyu?”

“Hmm?”

“If you knew that there was something going on between me and Seokmin, why did you agree to the dinner that day in the first place?”

Mingyu hesitates for just a moment as if the question takes him off guard, but then a smile starts to appear. “I thought you wanted to talk to me about him.”

“Ah. Right.” You give him a quick smile, wave, and then leave the cafe.

You’re never asking a crush’s best friend for advice ever again.

You practically count down the hours, staring at the clock on your phone every few minutes.

There’s still no word from Seokmin himself, and your heart pounds like crazy over the fact that you’d have to blindly trust Mingyu and believe that he’ll show up. What should you even expect from this meeting? How could you possibly prepare for it, having no idea what Mingyu has told him?

And what’s more than that is the other thought that pops into your head: what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Sure, everyone may have implied there was something going on between the two of you, but what if his avoidance was because he thought you used him? That the two of you were becoming friends—nothing more—and that you tossed him away the moment Mingyu looked at you? What if all of this is yet another misunderstanding?

Well, you figure it doesn’t matter anyway. You’ll go in there and tell him the truth regardless of whether you get rejected or whether he never wants to see you again.

So you get to the student center and then climb the stairs two at a time, unsure of whether you want to get there faster or slower. Because this time, there’s truly nothing to hide behind. This time when you see him, you’re no longer using Mingyu’s name as your shield or excuse, nor is Seokmin your crush’s best friend.

When you step into the room, you immediately see him curled up on the couch. It’s just as Mingyu said—Seokmin doesn’t look like himself. The usual brightness is missing from his face, seemingly replaced by the dark circles under his eyes, and the smile that he attempts when he sees you is just an attempt.

You gently take a seat at the opposite end of the couch. There was some sort of speech you practiced on your walk here, but after seeing him, everything leaves your mind at once.

“Hey,” you start. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Seokmin nods. “Yeah, um. It’s—sorry. I have no excuse for avoiding you. Just needed some space and some time to think.”

“Yeah, of course.” Then silence. “Seokmin—”

“Um, I—”

You stop. “You can go first.”

He hesitates, but ultimately continues. "I'm assuming your date with Mingyu went well? That things are going well between the two of you?" He doesn't wait for a response and simply nods to himself. "That's good. The two of you are good for each other."

"What?" You're almost worried for him because what exactly did Mingyu tell him? Nothing, judging by the sounds of it, or it’s that Seokmin has decided not to believe any of it. "What are you saying?"

He turns to you. "I know you were trying to get Mingyu to fall for you, but I think it worked on me too."

Oh.

Suddenly, it's like his confession makes everything click. You aren’t the only one who thought it was way too easy to forget Mingyu's name over the course of your hangouts, or to not have him cross your mind entirely until you were reminded. And you’re not the only one who was disappointed when his name was brought up again, or who wasn’t excited about your date with him.

Originally, you might've wanted to get advice from Mingyu's best friend and then developed feelings for said best friend along the way, but now you know that said best friend has also fallen for you.

“Too?” You shake your head. "No, it didn’t work on Mingyu. It never did; he only went on the date because he knew I—” you pause to take a deep breath, “he knew I liked you. He thought I asked him out because I wanted to talk to him about you.”

Still, Seokmin doesn’t say anything.

“But I'm not here to talk about Mingyu. Our hangouts might've started because of him, but we've spent more time forgetting about him than talking about him. And I think I must've spent more time talking about you than about myself during my date with him."

“Why would you do that? What do you mean…” he trails off and then meets your eyes, and you can see the moment it clicks for him. The light in his eyes—it seems to come back gradually like a candle flickering back to life or colour restoring in a monochrome landscape. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yeah, Seokmin. I don’t know when it started to happen, but the whole asking you for advice thing turned into an excuse to see you. I didn’t know it at the time when I asked Mingyu out and just—I freaked out and messed things up.” Your pulse is racing at this point, and it’s hard to swallow but you have to push on and ask one last thing. “So maybe… you can give me some advice on how to win your heart instead?”

“You already have, Y/N,” he says softly, and the warm smile that you missed so much is now back and glowing more than ever.

Then a moment later, as per typical Seokmin behaviour, he bursts into laughter. He laughs like he's finding the whole situation absurd—which it is—and soon, you join in too. You laugh at how Mingyu is the one who unknowingly brought the two of you together, how asking Seokmin for a mere favour has bloomed into an unlikely friendship.

And now, maybe into something more.

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