#make every minute count

[socialbutterfly19]

Step back and take a minute to reflect…. Make sure the decisions you make are for the best for you. Change is never easy!

[hinamie]

alongside someone like you

[iknowicanbutwhy]

"and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you and the universe said the light you seek is within you and the universe said you are not alone and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code and the universe said I love you because you are love." - End poem, Julian Gough

ho lds. g ently ,,,

[sarucane]

Why was finding Stede's letter so important for Ed?

Real talk, I adore the season 2 finale and to me the rush is worth it to have a safe ending place. But this episode is so overpacked, and Ed goes through such an incredible character arc and I love it, so here goes my rant on why he burst into tears and screamed at the forest when he read Stede's letter.

Ed is all goddamn over the place in the first part of this episode, tossed about by his insecurity and baffled by what is safe and what is unsafe. He has a voiceover about how amazing being a fisherman is, then ends up regressing into childhood trauma when another father figure freaks out over dinner. Ed doesn't even choose to leave the fisherman fantasy: the fantasy gets shattered and he gets fired in a high-speed parallel of Stede trying to go home (return to a safe, simple life) and finding he doesn't belong there in S1E10. At least Ed does manage to not drown in self-hatred on the way out.

And then Ed returns to the pirate safe space, only to find that it's been invaded and taken over. And that his selfishness, the low self-esteem that distorted his view of reality and his relationship, may have had real consequences for someone he loves (another parallel with Stede, this time early season 2). Ed may have been off pretending to be a "dirty old fisherman" while Stede died.

What was safe is now unsafe. All Ed has left is himself--so he really looks at himself.

At the fact that the kraken is always there, no matter what clothes he wears or how deeply he tries to bury it. He can fight that and run from it, and end up losing everything. Or he can embrace it, and figure out what comes next. Be what he was made by his past, however dark that past was.

But Ed's past wasn't all darkness. Ed walks onto the beach and gets a letter from the past, and suddenly there is something safe again in his world. Something worth killing for.

Ed first started falling for Stede through the stories Stede built around himself, stories formed by boastful encounters with Izzy, muttered hallucinations, and trinkets decking his ship. Back then, Ed didn't believe he himself was a good person, didn't believe he could have friends. But Stede told him stories about friendship and treasure maps, and Ed took these to heart and told stories to match, and Ed found truth through the fiction.

Then Stede left, and those stories fell away for Ed. Ed embraced the story of the kraken, of Blackbeard. Instead of a story about love or survival, he wrote a story about an impossible bird, a raiding record, and a treacherous crew--and mourned a story about lost love.

But Stede kept writing stories. He poured himself into his letters, poured his heart into sustaining his connection to Ed in spite of all the obstacles.

Ed didn't believe in this story after Stede came back, even though he wanted to. He kept emotional distance from Stede, avoided risks, and bailed after two days. Because Ed didn't trust that their bond was solid, that their story was something that could survive Ed's darkness, insecurities, and damage. Didn't trust that what Stede said this time, he had truly thought about, and meant with all his heart.

Stede didn't get how insecure Ed was in all this, because Stede was just so sure of Ed, and of their love. Stede believed in his story with his whole soul, and Stede's stories have a way of creating reality--after all, the whole crew of the Revenge became "real boys." But he couldn't figure out how to communicate this to Ed, to let Ed believe it too.

And then, at a moment where his identity is fractured and re-forming, Ed finds this letter. And just like that, there's a solid ground of story beneath his feet.

Because there was, in fact, solid ground beneath his feet all along.

Ed's and Stede's relationship, like all relationships, is hard. But they formed a real bond of love in season 1, and like Mary Bonnet said, being in love is easy. Ed can trust it--like he did before, but for real this time.

Ed's figuring this out ruddy late. He and Stede didn't communicate these things to each other when they had the chance, and now the chance may have slipped away. So now, Ed yells his feelings at the world and runs off to try to find his person.

When Ed finds Stede again, he doesn't hold back anything. He doesn't hesitate to kill, and he doesn't hesitate to drop his sword when he reaches Stede. They're finally face to face, in every way. Finally balanced, and seeing each other clearly, and able to communicate.

And, for the first time since he and Stede reached each other this season--for the first time since his vision in the Gravy Basket really--Ed is utterly vulnerable.

And entirely safe.

[sincericida]

ANDREW GARFIELD and FLORENCE PUGH

in a new clip from "We Live In Time"

(X)

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again

Shhh Don't question it.

[selfdiagnosedeyemotif]

Hope I get the one you want, though I am not confident in it

5 (this ones personal curiosity), 13, 27 and 30, for the 30 one answer the question you want to answer, but don't say which one it is (if you think this is cheating too much then I suppose just don't do it, you can do 15 instead)

5. Favourite form of potato?

i do really love poutine which is crazy because im from canada but also baked potatoes are ostensibly the best form of potato

13. What's the first thing you'd do in the purge?

steal a sword. open carry.

27. What's your go-to outfit?

ive got this green and navy blue plaid shirt that i thrifted recently that i love a ton, and then also some camouflage cargo pants. ive got a skirt that im making that im hoping to oust the pants but its also fully just fabric right now so we'll see

now. you said question 30 to answer the question i wanted. with question 15 as a backup.

question fifteen was the question that i specifically wanted. that being said.

15. Rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning.

so just getting the ranking out of the way before i explain. drowning > freezing > burning.

BURNING is a good method. its definitely not bad. its loaded and symbolic as hell (witch trials) which is a plus and is VERY evocative, but its just... missing something to me. like theres not enough on the part of the person burning. you cant really talk because the fire is going to just kinda force you to scream (WHICH SIDE NOTE. CAN BE COOL. DEPRIVATION OF AGENCY IN DEATH. ESPECIALLY WITH HOW YOURE OFTEN TIED UP WHILST BEING BURNED). but overall its a good death but doesnt measure up to the others

FREEZING is more my speed. freezing requires time more than anything, which sets it apart from most forms of death. most of the time when someone dies its either quick, or slow in the sense that it takes maybe a few hours. PERSONALLY. i prefer infection in this regard. but overall the main difference between these two is that infection is wet and freezing is dry. but yeah freezing slowly sucks the life out of you and breaks you. it wears you down until theres nothing left. the last stage of hypothermia is also notably a sense of calm and warmth and tiredness. you just need to lie down for a moment. which to me is actually fucking horrifying if im being real with you. that is SURRENDER. which is always awesome. narratively. again infection is a better way to do this (its grosser) but freezing to death will fill its place quite nicely.

now. DROWNING is the shit. because here's the thing. it is mechanically very similar to burning to death. you cant talk (water). its VERY fast with shades of panic involved. but heres the thing. first of all its dark and wet which i think im already on record as saying i prefer. but heres the thing. drowning has a few things running for it that are UNIQUE to it that i think really pushes it over the edge.

Drowning has a specific, short time limit. Most people will last about six minutes without air. Some can stretch it to ten. But there is, effectively, an actual clock ticking on a drowning. With exsanguination (bleeding out), that doesn't exist. You could bleed out super quick or last hours. With burning, that doesn't exist. You're gone too fast. Drowning, unlike most forms of death, gives you a bit of information by its nature, and offers room for suspense. You'd better hurry up. There isn't much time left.

Drowning forces you to betray yourself. The natural bodily response to asphyxiation is to attempt to breathe, and you can only suppress that response for so long. Normally this is good; you don't have air, so you get some by breathing. Easy. But with drowning, that is the specific thing you don't want to do. Attempting to breathe, a thing that you cannot prevent from happening, kills you faster. And additionally, it just looks sick as hell to gasp for air whilst underwater. You get those bubbles, your last lifeline, rising up and away from you while you sink further and further from the surface. You're never getting those back.

Drowning better utilizes light and darkness than most forms of death. (Quick side tangent: this is one scenario where sometimes burning does it better. Death through light can be using to spotlight that which is true while killing someone, which can definitely be cool. It is impossible to hide that which is true whilst burning; every feature is highlighted, which can be great for both just and unjust deaths in cases where a lack of ambiguity works in the death's favour. Anyways, back to the actual point i was making). By the way drowning works most of the time (put a pin in that for point four), you are dragged further from the surface as you die. The surface, generally, is also the main source of light in these situations. In pulling someone into the dark while killing them, it can really emphasize both a hopeless feeling and a feeling of pointlessness and loss. This death will not be honourable. It will be obscure and lost forever, a footnote at the bottom of the sea. You will not be remembered.

Drowning also has another unique way of demonstrating obscurity that I'm personally a huge fan of. Usually drowning involves a deep body of water, but so long as your mouth and nose are submerged and cannot reach air, you can drown. Ergo, a person can drown in a few inches of water which is so COOL. Like. You were so close to being pulled back into the world of the living you just needed a little PUSH. A little HELP. But you died ANYWAY because you, again, were so crushingly alone, so buried beneath obscura even before you died, that no one COULD help you. And for those same reasons you will AGAIN be forgotten.

The mafia put people's feet in concrete and sink them into rivers and I think that's a very evocative image.

[darkshrimpemotions]

My name is not Sanchez, pendeja! It's José Francisco Morales Rivera de la Cruz!

[birdblorbo]

I'm back on my bullshit, here's the Loser's Club roller-skating

I went skating with my best friend and their younger sister the other night and it single handed threw me back into Loser's Club headcanons so here we fucking go.

Long Post

Bill: He's definitely skated with Georgie before and while he hasn't skating in a while (RIP Georgie I love you) it didn't take him long to get back into the motions of it (Just like riding a bike, pun partially intended). He loses his balance occasionally but always manages to stabilize before he's really in an danger of falling.

Stan: He's a natural. His first time skating he struggled for around five minutes and then all the sudden could skate as though he went every weekend, no one can explain it. Bill and him spend most of the time catching while they skate and matching each others pace. Bill will go check on someone if they fall while Stan pretends not to know them.

Richie: He's really good for some reason??? You'd think he'd be flailing around and falling constantly but he's the only one who can do those fancy turns (Where you put your feet in a triangle, idk man but I can't do it) and skate backwards (if you can skate backwards I hate you I can never figure it out). He likes showing off but in the process trips over children that fall while he's not looking.

Eddie: He can't skate and he's made about it. He is like a newborn deer on an icy road. He desperately grabs onto whatever loser is closest and refuses to leave the wall unless they let him hold onto them. Richie (and occasionally Stan while he skates by) keeps making fun of him and hallway through Eddie gets fed up and goes to sit out until Mike finally convinces him to try again and sticks with Eddie for the rest of the night.

Mike: He's not a pro but he's definitely not bad. He enjoys just slowly going around listening to the music the DJ plays. He's very careful of avoiding young children especially the ones who like to zip around the rink really fast (Honestly the children who are good skaters are more dangerous you don't see them coming and they're unpredictable. At least the kids struggling you can tell where they're trying to go) He's the first to notice if one of the Loser's is sitting out and always goes to sit with them even if it's just cause their feet or ankles are hurting.

Beverly: She likes to go fast. As soon as she's comfortable on her skates she is going around as fast as she can until she falls, knocks someone over, or is asked to slow down by a worker. She's also the first one to get bored and will inevitably drag someone with her to get food (most likely Eddie who was already sitting out and will complain about how gross the food is while proceeding to get probably the worst thing he could've gotten).

Ben: He struggles for the entire time he is there but is determined to be able to skate by the end. He falls the most out of anyone but swears he does not need to hold onto the wall and refuses the Loser's help. Good news! he does eventually get it. Bad news, he gets it down five minutes before closing.

[tj-crochets]

Crafting/vaccine side effects update: I am still not up for crafting but oh my gosh I feel so much better than I expected to! I did have a POTS flareup but my blood pressure never got below 100/60, so like it barely counts. I mean, the tachycardia was worse, but even that was nowhere near what it's been previous times I got the booster shots, and it's mostly resolved itself within like 24 hours of getting the shot instead of like three days. I'm still operating at a deficit of water and salt but I'm working on it bit by bit, and I was skeptical when my doc said I wouldn't need an extra dose of my salt-go-up pills* but he was right! Anyway point is no crafting updates today but there might actually be crafting updates tomorrow, which I did not expect to be saying *fludrocortisone! It helps me retain salt in a way almost approaching the normal human way of processing salt

[socialbutterfly19]

One thing…. Stay true to yourself!!!! Some ppl are just mean

[slav-every-day]

[camelspit]

curious to know why you dislike juline?

tbh i had no opinion at all of her and then about a year ago there was a poll on which member of the collective was the best. and the tiergan lovers website let tiergan down. in favor of her. /hj

in seriousness, dislike was a bit strong. im still mostly neutral on her. she does sort of feel like just another sparkly girlboss in the series which. admittedly is a trope in kotlc thats started to piss me off a bit bc it seems like every adult woman falls into it.

juline is like. the final evolution of that sparkly girlbossery. she has no real relationship damage for more than 2 minutes after revealing shes been lying to her family for years and was part of the organization that grady thought killed his daughter.

in general! it doesnt seem like she ever faces any consequences for lying to her family or pushing them to the side a bit in favor of the black swan.

idk maybe there were problems (specifically with dex) and we never saw them bc theyre not sophies problem but. whatever.

also what is her "official job." was she passing off as a stay at home mom? does she work in the nobility? idk

[secretmellowblog]

Theories about what the "G" in the Conventionary G--'s name actually stands for:

Georg (Conventionary Georg, like Spiders Georg but for revolution)

Grantaire (it's a "resurrection AU" thing)

Gregoire after the Abbe Gregoire, a real-life person who likely inspired the character

Gean (Jean but with a G)

[sincericida]

ANDREW GARFIELD and ELMO

(Elmo tt)

[earl-grey-crow]

.