#mainly ones for my current (old) major and a few of the new classes

[watery-melon-baller]

Lads i have Fucked Up Big Time

[emotional-support-hufflepuff]

After losing my mind while working on the monster universe au I've been planning out I think I'm almost ready to start writing the first chapter!

So introducing the current main cast of gremlins in this

1. Maka Albarn: Daughter of Spirit, Maka is attending the dwma on an academic scholarship while reluctantly taking a few of her Dad's classes.

a witch that unknowingly specializes in blood life magic. Her major is undecided at the dwma, but she will be leaning more towards botany and plant biology as she learns not just how to manipulate plants but all life surrounding her as well. Together with her newfound friends, they'll be unlocking the secrets of the dwma.

2. Soul "eater" Evans: A black blood werewolf with a history of bad luck, Soul eater is unsure of what his future will hold now that he's graduated. Creating music for his family alone seems to suck his soul out and when he isn't on the run, changing between human and wolf form to get out of his head, he would usually be found pacing his room. Until a bike accident at 18, shook up everything he once knew.

Now twenty-one, his hands shaking with the tremors of an old mistake, Soul is preparing to move into the dwma where he will be meeting old and new friends alike. Originally going for his minor in music theory and conducting Soul's path quickly changes to small business and culinary arts after walking into the wrong class. Did he fully fit in there? No, but the class didn't need to know that.

3. Death the kid: a vampire with big shoes to fill, Kid is the seemingly immortal son of LD. Rumor has it he's a ghost living on university campus since no one has seen him leave. When in reality he is a curator and archivist of cursed artifacts at the dwma. Rumors about him change with each growing day, and as he moves into a dorm with Maka and the others after choosing to enroll, he's curious to see where they lead to. Not much is known about him as he chooses to keep to himself. However one thing is known for sure and that is there is no evidence of him in any picture.

Powered by spite, enough caffeine to kill a horse, and pure sass Kid tends to fade to the background. Often joining in on shenanigans with his sisters and Black star if dragged along he would rather focus on his studies of cultural, environmental, and diplomatic history as he pursues his dreams of becoming an archeologist. Not too hard right? Tell that to anyone who knows and expects him to follow in his dads footsteps. Life isn't easy when your Dads the grim reaper but when you're a vampire all you have is time to share.

4. Liz and Patty Thompson: Not so older sisters to Death the kid, Liz and Patty Thompson are poltergeists that after being discovered in the city were taken in by LD and given a second chance at life. Or, in their case, the afterlife as some would call it. Not much is known about their past, yet in some recollections of memories, one name keeps popping up. Asura, who is he, and why is he in their memories.

Whoever he is, they can worry about that later. With starting school again, Liz and Patty will be joining the others as the lines between who they once were and what they have chosen to become will begin to merge. Will they continue to try and outrun their past or learn to live with who they truly are. That's for them to discover and hopefully for the others to never find out.

5. Black Star: twenty-one going on twenty-two years old, grew up in Arizona, and is going to the dwma on an athletic scholarship. Black star's dad runs the gym classes along with co-leading some of the teams at the dwma. Mainly known for his pranks at the dwma, Black Star also happens to be a star athlete and not so secret theater kid.

 Sure, he loses his head every now and then, but that's his own fault for tossing it around instead of keeping it stitched on properly. But what can you say when you're constantly falling to pieces? That's what you get when you're one of Stein's projects.

6. Tsubaki Nakatsukasa: Twenty five years old, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa leaves behind the rumors of her past as she joins the dwma. Sure she might come off as patient as can be, but push her to her limit and the cutthroat determination that she had in her past life shows just how hard she'll work to get what she deserves. Even if some of that determination led to a little bit of bloodshed.. but that's a story for another time.

Starting her third year of school at the dwma, Tsubaki will begin studying kinesiology, psychology, and human anatomy/physiology in hopes of becoming a physical therapist. She might not be considered a doctor but even then that won't stop her from naming a few bones, while breaking them in the process if anyone so much as touches a hair on the heads of those she cares about.

[zillaofthevalley]

welcooooommmmeee ✮

hello. hi! how's it going out there in the world?

i'm starting this blog as a diary into the universe...and i am truly not quite sure where to really begin. i guess we could start at the beginning...

since the dawn of time...

ok not that early.

but my beginning...

in 2003, a child was born. to a couple (who would later get divorced) (but that doesn't really matter)...with two siblings; i grew up well. we were poor but i was very happy. all the time. my mom is my hero, my dad is my rockstar and i loved my sister and playing with barbies, and i loved my brother and watching him play GTA. my most memorable moments would be in my elementary years where i had the most fun.

fast forward 20.5 years later and here i am. surfing the technology waves at my fingertips and trying to find my way...i am not as lost as i used to be when i would first blog like this and i am fairly certain no one will ever read this and for that i am ok with,

i just want to freely talk--and anonymously--because GOD, i am sick of being the face of all the stuff i talk about. i fear (but with no actual phobia or any sort) that i may be one of the very few 20 year olds who has now deleted instagram and snapchat. i am sick of all the social media, if we're being honest. i don't want to search for what i think i should be or shouldn't be in others. i just want to beeeeeeeee....so here i am. being.

my current state of being is a college student, a freshman at my local community college and i do not care how dorky it is i LOVE IT! i love learning, meeting all these new people, and gaining all these new experiences. i am an art major and so far, i have loved all the classes i have taken (except for my Spanish prof...i'm looking at you Jerry.) but the plus side to all of this (besides a degree and a career possibly) is i met the love of my life about 6 months ago.

in the throes of my very first semester at college i took a geology class--sorta on a limb? it was between that and taking a less interesting sounding science credit, but boy was it the best decision of my life. meeting my boyfriend has pointed me in the furthest positive direction i have ever seen my life form into;

i eat (almost each day) 3 times every day! i wake up with wonder & hope again, i do my homework, i have love in my life AND i am reading again...which i am sure i will blog lots about. i am on my 7th book of the 2024 year (though i may abandon it...see Discussion of Books post, which i'm sure i'll do..)

mainly what i am seeking from this blog is to let out the passions, put my aspirations out there and find quality content in a safer space than where all my ghosts from my past may jump out at me on Instagram and Snapchat...uggggghhhhhh....

a digital diary. a discussion post for myself (and others if they so wish). and a safe space for life, love and happiness (cringe, whateva)

so, join me if you would, on this journey of my life. bring along what you may, i'm ready for you world and i'm coming in hot

[ossian94]

Since Withy_Bindings on Pillowfort asked me about my thought process of creating my maps, I decided to make it an extra post, since this got a bit longer than a comment could feasibly contain.

If people have still some questions I’m always open to answer them.

More below the cut:

When I made the map I already had written about the main places and where I wanted them to generally located. I also had written a very condensed history of the island and culture there to help me with the placement of a few other things but I come back to this later as cities always reflect their history.

The first thing I started with was a very rough layout of the natural formations (river and hill with the castle on it). With medical tools you could do some landscaping but not to the degree we can do today, besides that it’s also simpler to follow natural guides.

It is important to note that people in the past usually build fortifications and the like in hills as they offer a wide view and are easier to defend. Also, since building a castle took a long time, the workers usually settled close by the castle with their families and, depending on the religion you get a temple, shrine or church very early in settlements (those often times also being fortifications or build first instead of a castle). And while those, who had ordered the castle to be build, payed the workers usually in natural goods (mainly food) and some coin, a lot of the settled families also started to created and work on small fields. The produce of which they not only consumed themselves but also sold on the market, which in turn made more people come to the new village, causing it to grow.

With this knowledge in mind (which also influenced how I wrote the story) I sketched the castle on the hill, the temple on a lower level of the hill, as in my story the belief in the gods is important but the clergy (they’re more like a mix of christian orthodox preist, budhist monk and druid) doesn’t stand above the ruler, and the old town (Altstadt) on the south side of the hill, as this is preferable for farming. Then I placed a wall around those parts.

The plaza on the lower left above the river and harbour is one of the most important places besides the castle. It holds in-world historic importance as it was once the field where the clans who lived in old times on the island held a regular tournament to decided on who became the king. Which is why the Marschplatz (Marchplaza (this translation doesn’t sound right to me but it’s the best I can currently give)) is located outside the old city wall but also among the oldest places and hasn’t been build over with houses.

The outer districts are younger, which is why they are also surrounded by stronger more „modern“ fortifications. The majority of people in those parts are more middle to lower class with a lot of artists and the like concentrated on the north-west. 

The district in the south-east is called „Klanforte“ (which is an intentional misspelling of the word „Pforte“ at the end, which means gate in German, to show a bit of a shift in spelling and pronunciation although in a meta sense it’s really a rough translation of the Imirian name) which is the the red-light district of the city, where you can get also a few less then savoury things. To place it I looked again for old real world cities for a bit of reference. After all, in old cities, you had (or sometimes still have) such districts close/outside city walls and close where a lot of traveler’s come through, which is why I placed it also close to the harbour. Still, for such districts (no matter if fully legal or just tolerated) it‘s important to not attract a lot of attention, which is why it’s rather small, filled with dead ends and narrower/smaller streets and has just two small connections to the harbour where there isn’t a lot of official traffic (like merchants or political guests). In essence it’s like a less miserable Whitechapel in 19th century London without Jack the Ripper and placed in a time akin to our renaissance (in terms of architecture and some details).

The harbour I separated into two areas. The western one is reserved for huge merchant vessels, military vessels, travel ships for upper middle class to upper class and ships from private owners. The eastern are offers space for small fishing boats, small merchant ships and travelling vessels for the poorer population.

The „Imirioner Stadtsee“ (Imirian Citylake) is an artificial lake, created by the elemental-god Imir, who had guided some of the forfathers of the Imirians from the mainland to the island and united them with the people already there. This happened after the first human civilisation had fully fallen apart (but that’s a whole other story, which isn’t very important to the map). It was a gift so both the river as well as the capital had always enough fish, which still holds up to the time the story is set in. Imir also created a few other lakes as he was a god of water. Among those is also „der See der Monster“ (the Lake of Monster) (it also had a different name back then) from the island map being his main home until he was banished along all other elemental gods.

Now a few miscellaneous details:

The fields around the city are its main source of food beyond a strong focus on trade with other nations. The farmers don’t live within the city wall and have their own large farms further into the land. Also, the capital is placed square in the bread basked of the island.

The river banks are keeps free to allow the river room to hold the molten ice coming down from the mountains during spring. Today it seems a lot of city planers don‘t like to consider keeping rivers serpentining and meandering around with enough space and love to put them into concrete cages, which makes flooding not only more likely but also worse.

The empty circles on some plazas/places represent statures of the "Einhornkönig" (Unicornking), who was the most famous ruler of the island, along the black unicorn, which he defeated and caused him to get this nickname. A lot of places in the city are named after him. I did put those things in as in a lot of old cities you can find statures of old famous rulers, other people, mythological or normal animals. History informs culture and culture informs history.

Last but not least, a few tips for those who want to try drawing maps for their settings:

always start with the cardinal directions and mark those, as nothing is worse than finishing a map to find out you mixed up the directions in one part

think about the natural geography, are there hills/mountains and/or valleys, which make it either easier to defend the place or easier to travel

does the area offer important resources like fertile soil, ores or, in the case of a setting with magic, some sort advantage like a place of power, lay-lines, spirits, magical ores, etc.

a lot of cities in our world were build along pre established trading routs either to offer a place of protection/rest, a place to collect tax (often close to borders) or a place to take a break before taking on a more dangerous path

Cities are like onions, they‘ve layers - jokes aside, keep in mind that cities expand from the inside to the outside while often creating a new city wall in the process; the older the city the more layers it has (not only in an outgrowing sense but also underneath the city; a lot of excavation sites for streets and subways in Europe often find very old foundations or even whole settlements) 

they also grow a bit like bubbles as in two villages can grow together creating a new city with different city walls (look at modern day capitals like Berlin, London or Budapest, who encompasses districts that were once a town or village their own)

always reference real maps if your stuck or look up old still existing cities of our world and their history for inspiration

when filling your city with important buildings and „tourist attractions“ keep your settings history in mind as it can help to place certain buildings and give names to certain areas (again, culture and history go hand in hand)

don’t think too hard about where all the streets go, just plan out a few of the important ones and let the others grow around them

don’t forget to add some greenery and parks as well as a few houses with gardens as this makes for some nice variations and makes the map more interesting to look at

you don’t need to be super detailed unless you want to, the only important things on a map are in the end what‘s important to your story

don’t forget to add map symbols and a place where you write what each colour, pattern and/or shape means

you don’t necessarily need a measuring scale for your map unless you‘re like me and need it for calculating travel times because your obsessive about it (I did google travel times for travel on food and horseback as well as travel with sailing boats and made a few rough estimates in accordance with what I‘ve written in the story to use those times to calculate average distances to in turn recalculate sensible travelling times for distances none of my characters actually travel, but my brain needed to know… Sometimes I‘m weird like that)

The Map of the Capital

Which goes by the same name as the nation/island

I actually like drawing maps despite it being a very long process

[megumis-lashes]

Sugary Sweet

Pairing: Young! Wakasa Imaushi x reader 

AN: Umm this was just supposed to be a drabble i have no idea how it became this but.. enjoy ig lmao. Update: I switched it all to his first name since I used his surname accidentally 🗿

Word Count: 2.2k (yes i get carried away what about it hmm) 

Contains: Legit just fluff lol, princess is used, fem reader is implied but i don’t think pronouns are specified at all, partially inspired by fall out boy (mainly Irresistable and Immortals) since i find their music extremely fitting for the formation of black dragon :>

Listening to Fall Out Boy! with teen Wakasa and Shinichiro, hanging out in the ravenettes room after school.

Wakasa, signature lollipop in hand, sat on the bed, bored eyes surveying the room as he occasionally tinkered with Shinichiro’s belongings.

Shin was sitting at a rough old desk in the center of the room, staring intently at an old bike engine he was ‘sure as hell’ that he could fix up.

I sat in between the two, fiddling with a pencil and staring down diligently at my homework.

Out of the three of us, I attended school the most and was expected to keep my grades up. Second came Wakasa, who, despite skipping a lot to manage gang activities, was naturally gifted or so in school, managing to pass his classes with minimal effort. Last came Shinichiro. How that kid hadn’t been kicked out of school yet was a mystery to all. He was currently failing multiple classes, but whenever Waka or I would offer to tutor him, he would run off and get into a fight or continue working on his bikes.

“Hey Waka.”

“Yeah?” He replied

“I know you skip school all time time but do you know how to do this equation? Precalc is kicking my ass right now!” I sighed, banging my ahead against one of Shin’s pillows.

“Probably…. Here lemme take a look at it yeah?” Waka mumbled, slowing rising from his position on the bed and inching towards me.

“ EUREKA!!” Shin yelled, shooting up from his seat as his desk. He joyfully beamed down at the old engine in front of him.

“The fuck Shin? You scared the shit outta me man!” Wakasa sighed dramatically, dragging a hand through his messy blonde hair. My eyes lingered on the sight for a bit, internally sighing at how pretty he was without trying. I really didn’t blame all the girls for liking him. Despite the fact that he was a major delinquent in the area, he was genuinely a good guy, an attractive one at that.

“ Waka! I just hit the gold mine of the bike world! This engine looks amazing I gotta go try it out!” He scrambled from his desk to his door, engine and tools in tow.

“I’m gonna set up my bike with the new engine! I’ll be back in a bit. Waka, you better not pull any moves on Y/N! You hear me!” Shin trailed off, sprinting recklessly down the stairs and towards the garage, most likely tripping along the way. I rolled my eyes.

“That idiot” Waka and I said simultaneously. I giggled.

“No seriously, one day he’s gonna fall down the stairs and wind up in a hospital bed for a few months, not that that’s new.” I smiled, reminiscing on the times when Waka and I would visit Shin in the hospital after large fights. Despite being a gang leader, he typically suffered the most serious injuries due to his recklessness.

I could practically hear Wakasa smirk as he finally settled onto the floor, turning his head to face me.

“That idiot really is reckless isn’t he.” He rolled his eyes. “He always warns me to not pull any moves on you, wonder if he has a crush on ya’ huh?” He chided, pushing my shoulder childishly.

“WHATT?? No way Waka, don’t even joke about that!” I waved my hands around, frantically, feeling a warmth spread to the tips of my ears. “We see each other as siblings! Nothing more…”I trailed off.

“Woah there Princess! You seem real defensive now, ya’ sure you’re not the one crushin’ on Shin?” Once again his devilish, albeit handsome, smirk resurfaced, causing me to glare at him.

“How could I have a crush on him with the amount of math homework I have! I thought you were gonna help me with it hmm?” I shrugged, thankful I could get away from the topic of crushes.

If Waka found out I had a crush, much less had a crush on him, I for sure wouldn’t hear the end of it. Shin had already figured out my feelings towards the boy. How? I had no clue. His teasing was relentless though, especially when we were in front of the ‘white leopard’ himself. The reason why Shinichiro would throw out lame remarks like “don’t pull any moves” or “stay in your lane, Waka” was more of a way to tease me than the blond, knowing that I would get flustered every time he insinuated something going on between the two of us.

“Hmm? Changing the topic so soon princess? C’mon I wanna know about your crush! Don’t think Shin didn’t tell me about it!” He chided. I felt my stomach do flips at the thought of Shin embarrassing me without my knowledge.

“Although he did leave out some real important information ya’ know, he didn’t say who ya’ were crushin’ on. I’m real curious, so why don’t ya’ tell me hmm?”

At that moment I wanted to sprint up from my spot on the floor, dart into Shinichiro’s room in the garage, and smack the delinquency outta him. He had some nerve telling my secrets to Wakasa Imaushi of all people.

“Shin doesn’t know how to keep his damn mouth shut, does he…” I mumbled, avoiding the blond’s intense gaze in my direction.

“Look at me. I wanna hear about your crush yeah!” Waka chided once again. The air was thicker this time though. He spoke as if he could sense my anxiety and wanted to lighten the mood. Despite his pleading, I continued to look away, finding interest in the disorganized bookshelf in the corner of Shin’s room.

“Princess..” I heard him sigh, and some shuffling. I expected him to give up, maybe go back to sitting on Shin’s bed or even grab my homework to help me as he promised. What I wasn’t expecting was a rough, but warm, hand to softly grasp around the bottom half of my face, gently turning it towards the owner of said hand. I slightly flinched upon contact but quickly melted into the warmth, much faster that I would’ve liked. Despite the physical reorientation of my face, I kept my eyes averted, knowing that the warmth from the tips of my ears had long spread to the apples of my cheeks, dousing me in an embarrassing red hue.

“Y/N.. why do shy hmm? You can look at me ya’ know, don’t know what got ya’ so damn embarrassed all of a sudden.” He continued. “Ah! Unless you have a crush on me that is. I could see why you’d be so mad at that idiot!” He chuckled, his boyish charm and airy laugh almost completely distracting me from what he just said.

Upon comprehension, my eyes widened but I stayed quiet. How the hell do you reply to something like that? I had no idea, but at that moment I knew that I wanted to crawl under Shin’s bed and pretend nothing existed.

“Hmm? Earth to Y/N? You don’t actually have a crush on me do ya’?” He continued to hold my face. It was then that I realized just how close Wakasa had gotten to me, close enough for me to smell the faint aroma of sweetness from his lollipop and the dusty scent of his cologne mixed with sweat that had faded drastically since the morning. I exhaled.

“Ya’ know Wakasa, this wasn’t exactly how I pictured confessing…” I trailed off a bit, taking another breath before continuing. “Yeah, I do have a crush on you, I’ve liked you for a while now. ‘Was just gonna stay quiet and let it go away but Shin kept pushing me to confess! All of that “don’t pull any moves” crap was his way of teasing me… ‘wanted to embarrass me in front of you since I refused to confess.” I paused, still maintaining a piercing eye contact with the bookshelf in the corner. I could feel Waka’s breath brush my ear, and I knew that if I made eye contact I wouldn’t be able to finish my sentence without becoming a stuttering mess. “Look, Wakasa, I’m not expecting you to fell the same or anything, I just don’t wanna ruin what we have-“ I was cut off by a shocking sweetness and the feeling of hot breath panning over the bottom half of my face. Surprised, I fully faced the boy, making eye contact. My eyes raked over his face, noticing just how warm his face had gotten, the peachy color of his ears and cheeks mirroring mine. As my eyes fell upon my lips, I noticed that the signature stick of a lollipop was long gone, and it struck me. In order to shut me up, Wakasa had taken his lollipop and pushed it into my mouth, the action enough to disrupt my speech and further fluster me. At the realization, I couldn’t stop myself from twirling my tongue around the candy, the sweetness of the treat combined with the thought of it being an indirect kiss enough to bring a shiver down my spine.

“Wow Y/N… can’t say I expected that..” He chucked, bashfully rubbing the back of his neck. “Before you go off embarrassing yourself why don’t you hear out my side of the story hmm?” I nodded, still disheveled from the previous few moments.

“I don’t know why you expected me to reject you.. I mean I’ve liked you for months now man. Shinichiro always teased me for being ‘super fuckin’ obvious’ with my feelings but I guess he was wrong.” He smirked again, except this time there was a certain warmth behind it, not being as sinister as his usual expressions.

“Lemme take ya’ on a date, yeah? Shinichiro’s treat since that dumbass always makes us embarrass ourselves..” he mumbled, shaking his head at the thought of the ravenette tinkering away at his engine without a thought in the world.

“Hmm princess? Whatcha still quiet for? You’re not rejecting my offer are ya’? He chided poking my cheek. Feeling a sudden wave of confidence wash over me, I popped the lollipop from my mouth and reached forward to grab the boy’s collar, pulling his face towards mine. Our lips made contact, and even though my eyes were squinted shut, I could practically see the wide eyed expression on Imaushi’s face. Despite the suddenness of it, Waka kissed back whole heartedly, soft and slightly rougher lips mingling together, the subtle flavor of the lollipop sweetening the experience. I deepened the kiss, throwing my arms around his neck, practically straddling his hips. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, pressing his lips to mine even hungrier than before.

The kiss seemed to carry on for decades, only to be cut short by the two of us gasping for air, internally cursing our lungs for needing oxygen to survive. Surviving off of kisses alone seemed far more appealing. Upon breaking apart, we both took quick breaths, basking in each other’s presence. Remembering my original plan, a cheeky smile covered my face. Taking the lollipop from before, the one I still held in my hand, I lifted it to Wakasa’s lips, pushing the candy back into his mouth, much like he had done before. He jumped a bit, one hand coming to grab at my hands, the other going towards his mouth, brushing over the stick and then his lips.

“You can’t just do that!! Damn that’s embarrassing!” He whined, pushing me off of him and wrestling me to the floor, reversing the way we were positioned.

“Come on Waka! You did it to me before! Think of it as payback!” I smirked up at him, attempting to mimic the devilish smirks he always uses to his advantage.

“But that was different! You were going on and on about me rejecting you and blah blah blah-“

“OK OK! I get the point, dumbass…” I pouted. His arms fell around me, somewhat caging me in.

“Waka…”

“What’s up princess?” There he went with that nickname again, he really new how to fluster me without even lifting a finger.

“So if you reciprocate my feelings, then what does that make us now?” I slightly mumbled, a bit nervous to ask the question.

“We’re boyfriend and girlfriend now. Isn’t it obvious, you’re such a dumbass!” He sighed dramatically, playfully rolling his eyes. I teasingly punched him in the chest.

“I’m just makin’ sure asshole! You’re the one who acted all ‘lovey dovey’ when we were just friends! You’re not as easy to read as you think, ya’ know!” I pouted, once again, bringing my hand to my face to push away my hair.

Our conversation was cut short by the sound of light clapping, effectively causing us to turn our heads towards the source of the sound, the doorway. There stood Shinichiro, a towel draped over his shoulder and an old tool belt slung around his waist. He eyed us curiosly.

“Wow so you guys actually confessed huh? Fucking finally! Only took you like, 5 whole years!” He sighed dramatically, swiping his hand across his forehead. “You guys look mighty comfy’ there hmm? Better not have done anything weird in my room ya’ hear?!” He chuckled, receiving glares from the both of us.

“Shin, ya’ better start running now! ‘Cuz I have a few reasons as to why I wanna fuckin’ kill you!!”

[alluringjae]

queen of hearts - sjn

summary: for the first time, one of your star students hasn’t been fetched right after class. but when she finally does, you weren’t expecting such a fine man to be her father.

pairing: johnny x female reader

word count: 5.5k

genre: fluff, romance, comedy | ceo and single dad!johnny + ballerina!reader + modern day!au

warnings: mentions of an absent parent, johnny being an overthinker, sexual innuendos (ten saying dilf hehe), slight explicit language, technical terms of ballet, a mini reference to mean girls

author’s note: sooo i came in touch with my former dance life, which led me to write this. there are links for the variations i used; their names are underlined when they’re mentioned. i am going to get technical with ballet terms here (even when my ballet knowledge decreased), so to any dancers reading, i really did my best, so please don’t come for me or do correct me for any mistakes.

although one character and her dance background, plus the name of the setting, are real, everything else about it is still a work of fiction.

i miss dancing, no cap.

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Ballet student and teacher by day, a soloist of the Korean National Ballet at night.

This was your daily routine, and it wasn’t the typical 8-5. But it’s debatable whether or not it was worse, because you’re always going overtime. That’s the thing when you’re an overachiever. Nonetheless, you loved what you do. It’s the lifestyle you gradually built since your preschool days.

Mornings on the weekdays were mostly vacant since all the kids were still in school. You’d start at 10 am for a warm-up class for the company. Before you delved into teaching and assisting, you’d train right after your lunch break. Partnering class, en pointe class, 1-on-1 sessions with choreographers, self-practice, then the company night class, that’s the organization of your week.

Now adding the teacher title, you mostly handled kindergartners to 5th graders in the academy aspect of the company. Your first teaching class would start at 1 pm. It’s when the younger students who finished their morning classes zoom into your assigned dance studio. One class would last an hour and a half, then you have a 30-minute break in between another class with the older kids. Their lesson repertoire was more strenuous due to the added across-the-floor lessons and jumps. Water was always your best friend, water refilling stations located everywhere in the company building.

You wouldn’t say you’re a strict teacher, but you weren’t shy to correct anyone from wherever you stood. You’d lightly align their arms or back properly so your students were working on the correct body parts. Compared to the other teachers, a lot of students enjoyed your kind yet frank approaches. Your former students, who’ve already gone to the higher levels, missed your lively presence and wished repeatedly that they want you back as their teacher.

“Teacher (Y/N), I miss you so much! Teacher Ten is so intense. I get the jitters especially when we’re en pointe on the floor.”

“Teacher (Y/N), Teacher Sicheng and Teacher Seulgi scare the heck out of me during partnering class. Especially when I tried to lift my partner, I keep losing focus because of Teacher Sicheng’s never-ending comments!”

Not to be sadistic, but you’d simply laugh at their minuscule complaints. Even if they’re struggling in the academy, those comments were directed to fix their techniques if they wanted to breakthrough.

“Kids, you’re going to be fine! They wouldn’t say or do those things just because they wanted to. They’re here to push you to the next level, like how I used to do with you. It’s a cut-throat industry after all.”

This was always your reply, bittersweet and truthful. Not everyone makes it, unfortunately, so if you’re really striving, you’d do whatever it takes. Throughout your career, you’re relatively impressed with how far you’ve come.

Trainee at 17, Corps de Ballet at 18, Demi-Soloist at 21, and Soloist at 23.

You’ve been a soloist for 4 years. The final stage, which was to become a principal dancer, is your running goal. Becoming a soloist was praiseworthy enough because you’ve seen so many give up in the Corps, but claiming a spot as a principal dancer has been the ultimate dream. Since you’ve watched Swan Lake for the first time at 4 years old with your parents, that’s where you found a passion for dancing and the stage. Here you are years later, practicing numerous variations daily, performing in opera houses, and mentoring all these gifted kids.

Your last class with elementary kids, which began around 5 pm, reached its end once all the students curtsied in front of you and scurried to their mothers or their nannies. The remaining plan on your agenda today was the company class at 7:30 pm, which exceeds the average hour and a half. It’s worse during show season. There have been times everyone went beyond midnight to polish every scene from head to toe.

Currently, there’s no upcoming show for the public, though the annual summer recital for the students was around the corner. Selected members of the company were chosen to perform individually in it, which was both exciting and intense. It’s also because it’s an evaluation on whether you’d get promoted in status or staying put. You’ve partaken in 3 recitals in the past, two of which elevated you from the corps and demi-soloist ranks. The recent one, however, didn’t change your soloist ranking.

It was a major first in your career in ballet, and after finding out the result of the latter, it emotionally pained you. Recalling how much soul you put into that piece, the rejection from your artistic director clenched your heart. Though in time, you moved on from it and viewed it as a stepping stone. Also, Sicheng and Ten personally stormed your apartment to pull yourself together with wine and pizza after going on a short leave.

Since you were trainees, Sicheng and Ten were your best friends in and outside the company. Working daily to occasional barhopping, that’s your youth summed up. It wasn’t because you didn’t like the girls you’ve worked with (though a lot of them were fake and bitchy), but these two were frank and humorous as hell. Together, you’d help each other with your goals rather than be competitive. Over time, Ten leveled up to a principal dancer for 2 years running while you and Sicheng were still soloists. The way you’d watch Ten take all the big roles, that’s where you want to be one day.

Back in your last teaching class, the entire dance room was vacant. Since it’s mainly used for ballet classes, you’d either run through anything you’ve practiced from the company classes and polish it or warm up a little bit more.

Except for today, this was the only free time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes because your current ones were dead. Dead in a sense that the hard shell turned soft, which won’t be able to support you when you’re up on your toes. You’re not taking any risks of minor injuries especially when you’re in the current lineup of company members performing for this upcoming recital again. You have to prove to everyone that you deserve a position as a principal dancer.

As your legs sprawled in a half middle split, your sewing equipment laid in front of you like you’re about to perform surgery, a tiny girl stood by the ajar studio doors. In her neat bun and holding on to her small duffel bag, you’re convinced everyone has gone home already since it’s quite late.

You may have your priorities as a company member, but she was still your student.

“Minji!” You shouted her name, speedily waving your hand. You’re not one to have favorites, though you couldn’t help wonder how extraordinary she was. She’s always taking charge in demonstrating the lessons to everyone and improving every session in the 3 years she’s joined the academy. “Come in! Come in!”

At age 7, she’s gotten taller through the years, above the average from how you see it. She must have amazing genetics. Her legs sauntered in seconds to you. Sitting down across you, she marveled at your setup. Specifically, at the fresh pointe shoes.

“Are those yours, Teacher (Y/N)?” She perked up, caressing its soft fabric and playing with the mini bows of the drawstrings.

“Yes, it is, Minji!” You answered while trying to insert the thin thread through the small eye of the needle. “Why are you still here? Is your nanny stuck in traffic or something?”

“My nanny went on sudden leave, so my dad’s the one fetching me. But I think he’s running late from his job.”

Oh, this was a first to know about her father. In all the years she’s been your student, you rarely caught sight of him, even in recitals. Maybe he sat in an unknown section, but you’re pretty much acquainted with all the parents of your students. Even if some were snobbier than the rest because they wanted their child to have more stage time, you still got to know them out of respect. Quite odd, if you said so yourself.

After deep concentration, the thread triumphantly passed through the eye so you tied the two ends of the thread in a double knot. Seeing as Minji attentively watched you, you tasked her to cut the ribbons of your shoes according to the trail of pencil marks. This was so she wouldn’t cut it too short or too long. While she did that, you hammered your shoes against the floor to soften the hard front, bending the shank back and forth so the arch of your feet could move without difficulty later.

Minji wasn’t expecting such loud sounds, her entire body shaken awake. Her facial expression was priceless, explaining to her, “Once you get your first pointe shoes in a few years, this is one of the basic things you need to do so your feet won’t hurt too much while dancing.”

“Will you be there to teach me how to make my pointe shoes?”

“Absolutely! Come to me first then I’ll mentor you all that I know.”

The process of sewing and breaking new pointe shoes engraved your mind since your adolescent years, with changes along the way. Inspired by some tricks from your former teachers, but there were some differing rituals you followed. There’s no definite process of it, just as long you’re comfortable to dance after.

With your feet, you stepped on the hard boxes of the shoes to soften it more, creating a popping sound. Followed by sewing your elastic bands in. For your ribbons, you liked to burn the edges with a lighter so the thread of it won’t run. Kindly asking your cute assistant for the lighter beside her, you scanned the edges back and forth the flame. In seconds, the edges had a distinct mark, fully closed. From there, you slid your feet to your shoes to make final sewing adjustments. Sewing your ribbons took you another few minutes, plus adding superglue inside the shoe so the shoe won’t collapse when it unstiffens and scratching the shank with a cutter so you won’t slip later while dancing.

Voila, the final product is done! Hopefully, it can last you a week at least.

“Wow, Teacher (Y/N), it looks pretty!” Minji applauded, collecting the mess you’ve both made to dispose of later. You, on the other hand, gave her your thanks once you applied some bandages on your big toes and put on your toe pads. Slipping inside the shoes and tying them, you rose up back to your feet and headed to the bar to break them in. From plies-relevésto forced arches, the shoes gave you the sensation that they were an extension of your feet. The ease flowed through, meaning you were ready to practice your variations.

While you stepped your shoes in rosin for friction, your curious student moved to the front where the mirror lied to watch what you’ve prepared.

“What variation are you dancing to?”

“This is the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere.” You replied, tapping the play button on your phone and racing to your position on the side. Talking a short ballet walk, you strongly prepared your arms before the music of the orchestra takes off.

This variation consisted of a lot of jumps and turns. Grand jetés, attitude turns, chaîné turns, you needed a lot of core control and proper spotting so you won’t get dizzy. The thrilling music lessened your nerves because you enjoyed learning this piece from one of the principal dancers, smiling and letting the music guide your legs. Once you nailed 3 consecutive grand jetés, the variation ended with a sus-sous and the wrists of your hands flicking upwards.

Holding it for 5 more seconds, you landed back on your feet with heavy breathing and a need for water. But before you could, small claps and cheers from Minji in front erupted. Momentarily, you’ve forgotten her presence because dancing solo puts you in your own space. You’d never let anyone take you away from it.

“Teacher (Y/N), that was wonderful! Are you performing that in the summer recital?”

Yikes, she’s right but she wasn’t meant to see it yet. Solo performances from the company members for the recital were top secret, only unveiled during the production rehearsal. Well, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t mind.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Time ticked a lot faster today, only 10 minutes left until the company class on the ground floor whereas you were in the second. Just a few steps down the stairs away, yet Minji was still here. You only presumed that within your hour break, her father could’ve made it already. But maybe he’s stuck in traffic or at work.

“Minji, my class starts soon. Have you contacted your father?”

“I already texted him earlier, but he hasn’t responded. This happens often, he’s a busy man.” She bowed in front of you suddenly. “I’m sorry, Teacher (Y/N) for the hassle.”

“Oh no, please!” You shook your hands so she’d stop. Because this situation was relatively new, you were unsure of how to handle it. Or that was until you remembered what Ten texted you earlier. “Minji, the blinds of the main studio are going to be lifted so anyone from the outside can view us practicing. Would you like to watch until your dad gets here?”

With her insistent nodding, she situated herself in one of the seats in the front row. When you entered the main studio, your two close companions already carried a metal barre to the center and leaned towards it while observing you walking to them in your flat shoes.

“I see we have a bit of an audience here.” Ten glimpsed at the young girl, astonished by the many dancers prepping and chatting away with their cliques from the glass barrier.

“Her dad isn’t here yet, and you did say the blinds were up today. Might as well give her a show while she waits, you know.” You lifted your right leg to the top barre, stretching it with your arms.

“Hmmm, shouldn’t her dad be more cautious though? It’s getting late and it’s a Thursday. Doesn’t she have school or something?” Sicheng pointed out, discarding his muscle tee to straighten out his leotard.

“That’s not my business though. She’s just my student, and since she’s still here, I have to entertain her while she waits.”

Before your friends said anything back, the artistic director of the ballet company strutted her way to the center of the room. It’s a common rule here that once she entered, everyone must be silent to listen and race to any free spot in the numerous barres spread out if they haven’t.

“Alright, everyone. We’ll do the typical barre, then before doing across the floor exercises, I’ll be requesting those performing solos already in the recital to dance any variation tonight as another evaluation on who deserves to perform twice.” She eyed the pianist directly beside her. “Proceed first with two demi-pliés then one grand plié. Don’t forget to do the port de bras of each position.”

As the live piano music played, your focus was divided. Partly properly executing the exercise while your artistic director roamed each barre area, partly thinking about what variation to perform. This was a first for the company, and everyone was just stunned to hear the breaking news. It’d be nice to get an extra opportunity to showcase to people your potential.

30-40 minutes flew by quickly. As the guys carried the bars to the side to clear out the floor and the girls changed to their pointe shoes, the artistic director ordered all the performers of the recitals to stand in a line in front of her. Everyone else was seated around the room, so the interested eyes of everyone were on you. There were 10 performers, half are from the corps and the other half are either demi-soloists or soloists. You and Sicheng stood beside each other, internally shaking with nerves under the intimidating eyes of the artistic director. She used to be a principal dancer for the Stuttgart Ballet in Germany before moving back to Seoul, making her undeniably capable of leading all of you.

“Okay,” From her seated position observing the 10 performers, her finger pointed at you directly. “Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), you perform first.”

Your nerves intensified and more sweat streamed out your upper body. Even if going first felt more relieving, no one was ever brave enough to perform individually in front of the esteemed artistic director. Principal dancers aside from Ten that you’re close with were intimidated when they have 1-on-1 or partnering sessions with her. But anyhow, in less than 2 minutes, you’d be done. This wasn’t the first time she’s had your full attention either, so you’ll treat it like the other individual performances you’ve had.

You smiled to yourself when the other soloists left you alone, while you gave the name of the variation you’re dancing to the pianist. Running to the side to put on a practice tutu, the artistic director asked, “What will you be dancing for us tonight, (Y/N)?”

“I’ll be dancing Queen of the Dryads from Don Quixote.”

The last time you did this variation was 3 years ago during the recital that didn’t change your position as a soloist. Even if this variation hurt to think about for a while, it was still one of your favorites to watch and do. Moving on, you could only muse how powerful and beautiful you felt at that time. This isn’t an easy piece to perform in your opinion. Yet according to the members of the company, this was their favorite solo of yours.

As the starting notes unfolded, you took a deep breath and elegantly walked into the frame. You only wished you wore your fake crown again for this. Minimal smiling and light arms, you imagined yourself as an actual queen who captured the eyes of many. In this case, your fellow seniors and juniors held their breaths at the captivating sight of you.

Off you go into a series of glissade jeté developpé on relevé at elevating heights, then a fouetté arabesque and another arabesque on relevé before ballet walking again to the side to dance across the stage. Sissonne to the front, right developpé to the front on relevé, pique to prepare for a single pirouette, you gracefully did a chassé to the front twice and stood on your toes with a sus-sous.

Doing it a few more times, the climax of the entire variation was nearing. Returning to the center, you took another deep breath and lifted your left leg for the Italian fouettés. Spotting to the front and back while maintaining your balance, the variation approached its end with lame duck turns, posing with your arms were positioned at a 45-degree angle, your back slightly arched and your left leg doing a tendu derriére. Your eyes reflected at the mirror in front, surveying your alignment. Once your 5-second hold was finished, you properly put your arms down and closed your back leg into 5th position.

The applause from everyone in the room roared, Ten and Sicheng wolf-whistling even for more support. It’s a usual thing every time any of you perform individually, and no one minded it. The artistic director grinned, giving a quiet clap from the front before calling out the next performer, who was from the corps. Bowing to everyone hastily, you paid more attention to spot your student by the window. She was smiling ear to ear, waving both hands at you.

“You did amazing, Teacher!” She mouthed. Hearing words of praise from members was one thing, but hearing them from students was another. You’re so used to watching them and giving them your compliments that you often forget that you’re a dancer first before a teacher. Seeing them all delighted, saying that it motivates them more, showed that you’re doing a great job teaching them. You’re a reflection of what you pass down, and all you want was for them to be the best they could be.

From her jolly expression, a tall masculine silhouette hovered a part of the window. Her instinct of giving a brighter smile when the hand of said silhouette patted her head then carried her duffel bag again, that could only mean one thing. Excusing yourself to the artistic director, you stepped out to bid your goodbye and maybe meet her father. Minji and the tall man were about to leave the building if it weren’t for your breathy voice calling them out.

“Seo Minji and Mr. Seo?”

They stopped their tracks. Minji was fast to react, familiar with your voice and racing towards you for a sweaty hug. Meanwhile, your focus shifted once the masculine silhouette came into full view. You finally understood why Minji’s growth spurt spiked up, noticing that he was taller than Sicheng.

The top buttons of his shirt were off, yet he kept his formal blazer on. His hair was a bit tousled, some strands falling in front of his forehead. He must’ve run here. Peeking through were some roots of his scruff growing. His eyebags were almost as dark as his brown hair. Yet by the way his Rolex remained spotless, you blatantly assumed that he was more than well-off. Especially when the ballet academy was one of the most prestigious ones in Seoul.

Out of all the parents you’ve met, none of them appeared youthful like him.

“Teacher (Y/N)?” Thanks to Minji, you moved your staring eyes away from him. This was another first, since meeting only the fathers of your students wasn’t your norm. Meeting young-looking fathers, to be specific.

“O-Oh,” You ate your words, suddenly blanking out. “You’re leaving me without saying goodbye, Minji? Not polite of you.”

“My father was rushing right after watching your performance, and I don’t know why.” She responded, her finger scratching the top of her head in confusion. Speaking of said father, his strong presence appeared right in front of you. The wrinkles of his forehead creased while his eyes barely looked at yours.

“Uhm,” His fingers toyed with his Rolex. “I apologize for my tardiness. I got caught up in work and all, plus her nanny le-”

“Mr. Seo.” You halted his rambling, already aware of the situation. Like father, like daughter. “It’s fine. Minji loved watching us practice while waiting, and she wasn’t a bother either. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Phew.” He swiped an imaginative bead of sweat from his forehead, displaying his relief with his playful nature.

At age 23, Johnny Seo started his own company in the fashion scene and it grew internationally in the coming years. Then when Minji unexpectedly joined the picture, he’s been multi-tasking to make ends meet. Lately, as a CEO, he has had meetings and conferences on a daily. So, his position as a single father was always tested. It worsened when he rarely has proper time to spend any time with Minji unless it’s the weekend or late in the evening. Breaking it down, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet you. It was more like he couldn’t when his schedules were packed from head to toe.

Having the guilt of taking your precious time, “Seriously though, I am sorry for being late. Her nanny resigned suddenly, and I have no time to find her replacement.”

“Mr. Seo, again, don’t worry about it. As her teacher and a company member, I am practically here 24/7 so it won’t be a nuisance at all if this happens again.”

“Thank you so much, Teacher (Y/N). That is your name, right?” He planted his palm on his forehead, stressed. “Being a single parent is hard. I am always forgetting things.”

A part of you couldn’t restrain from feeling sorry for his struggle. Taking care of a child should be the work of both the mother and father, not one of them being absent. You’ve feared this would harm Minji, but she’s a strong girl.

“The fact you didn’t forget to fetch Minji despite the late time is still something to be happy over. I’m not a parent or anything, but parenting, in general, is a challenge.” You added an insight, patting the head of the young girl beside you. “Cut yourself some slack, Mr. Seo. I’m sure Minji still loves you, right?”

Minji shouted a big yes, now clinging to the leg of her father. “It’s okay, dad. Really.”

Over the years, Johnny has been doubtful of his parenting skills. He was an only child, and he struggled to ask for guidance from his own parents due to the shame of having a kid at a young age. So, he’d ask for help from his other friends and co-workers. No matter how many times they’ve reassured him that he’s doing well, he’s an overthinker who always reflected on the bad scenarios. There’s also that pressure to find someone who can fill that absent position not just for Minji, but for himself too. No matter how many girls he’s asked out or been set up with, he failed in the love department badly.

It’s the soothing way you voiced out your truth that made all these negative thoughts running through his head freeze briefly. Over the past 3 years since Minji started ballet, she always had a great story about you to share. One of them was how ballet made her a lot happier because of your influence. If he had at least an hour of his day to meet any of his daughter’s mentors, it would’ve been you.

“Do feel free to call me Johnny instead.” He casually introduced himself, taking his hand out for you to shake. “Mr. Seo makes me feel like I’m at work right now.”

Despite his informal approach, you understood his intentions and returned the action with a promising smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Teacher (Y/N).”

Earlier, the nerves from performing in front of the artistic director died down fast. But for some reason, they rose back up when you’ve spoken to this man in a matter of minutes. As someone whose feelings don’t flourish in a single glance, why did this man specifically deliver you such a strong effect?

If it weren’t for Ten calling for your name by the door, you would’ve held on to Johnny’s hand longer, which would’ve been inappropriate. Letting go first, this was your cue to return to your class.

“I must head back inside, Johnny. Don’t sweat on fetching your daughter late, though she is still a student with school the following day. Right, Minji?”

Minji nodded as Johnny kept that mind, knowing where he has to improve next.  “Yes, Teacher (Y/N). Thank you again, sincerely. I’ll definitely see you again in the coming days until Minji has a new nanny.”

“That’s no problem with me at all, Johnny.”

Soon as Johnny held his daughter’s hand to exit the studio and you were re-entering the studio with an impatient Ten, he swerved swiftly as if he forgot something.

“Oh by the way Teacher (Y/N), I saw your whole performance awhile ago. I was blown away, you deserved the applause.”

Although you could only distinguish his silhouette, you didn’t suppose he watched you from head to toe. Most parents or nannies would’ve dragged their kids out of the studio once they find them like they were on a tight schedule, so this was novel to experience. That performance showed your prime too.

“Thank you, Johnny. See you again soon.”

Giving a final nod, you led yourself back to the studio, not bothering to acknowledge the erupting heat on your cheeks and entire body. Not to sound narcissistic, but compliments weren’t foreign to you. You’re conscious of the hard work that you put in your talent and if they pointed out your greatness, why would you deny it? However, receiving one from Johnny was like gearing your engine with new fuel.

Before you could try to reject these harboring feelings, Ten was fast to pick up on it. You cannot hide anything from this man at all because body language was like another language he’s fluent in (aside from the other 5). Unlucky for you, the saga continued.

“You’re so into dilfs, (Y/N)!” He shrieked in your ear, nudging your shoulder repetitively. He placed things in his own way, yet they always shocked you because it was so inappropriate. Typical Ten for you.

“Shut up, Ten!” You objected, watching the other performers. You’ve improved in ignoring his remarks over time. That was until Sicheng sat down beside you after his solo and got up in your business. That placed you in the middle of boys from the water sign clan of astrology. They just loved getting down to your love life, going raunchy and whatnot.

“Who’s into dilfs, Ten?”

“A Miss (Y/N) beside you, who met Minji’s dad awhile ago, was basically eye-fucking him.” Ten elaborated, planting his elbows on your leg and gave you a sneaky glare. “Minji’s dad is fine as fuck, guys! I’m telling you, like a literal god! I’m surprised this is the first time he showed up here after 2-3 years?”

“How come (Y/N) is always getting students with good-looking parents? Especially the single moms.” Sicheng slumped his shoulders, attempting to get your attention too. “Is he that hot, (Y/N)?”

“Yah.” Sighing with annoyance, you’ve given up trying to appreciate one of the corps dancers with her rendition of Dulcinea from Don Quixote. “Don’t speak of Johnny like that. You barely know the man, yet you talk about him so unprofessionally."

“Oh, Johnny is his name, huh?” Sicheng sing-songed, bobbing his head. He’s certainly going to stalk him later on social media, you felt it in your chest. Like it was ESPN or something.

“Talking about being unprofessional, yet you’re here referring him as Johnny, not Mr. Seo.” Ten barked back, his lips pursed and one eyebrow lifted.

Just as soon as you could retaliate, the artistic director’s velvety voice boomed the room.

“Alright, thank you to the performers. I will deliberate with the staff and principal dancers over the weekend, and let you know the results on Monday. Now please, let’s proceed to the center.”

Everyone began to spread out on the wide floor, snatching a good position so they could monitor themselves in the mirror. Maybe you’ll defend yourself later after class because now, you needed to beat everyone else and have a crystal-clear view of yourself doing these following exercises.

In the meantime, Johnny was in the middle of driving Minji home. He had a designated chauffeur, but he gave him the night off because he wanted to spend time with Minji. Around this time, she’d be sleeping soundly, but instead, she’s boosting with so much life. She hasn’t even eaten dinner yet, which was the first thing on Johnny’s agenda now.

Playing Coldplay in the car, Minji belted some lyrics from her favorite songs while Johnny smiled to himself while listening to her attentively. Taking a breath, her thoughts reverted to her fantastic ballet teacher and shared them with her father.

“Dad! Don’t you just think Teacher (Y/N) is so cool? Ugh, I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

“Oh, to become a ballerina like her, you have to work hard every day and memorize lessons fast. Are you up for it, Minji?”

“Absolutely, dad! I want to pull off perfect jumps and turns like her one day!”

In the other after-school activities Johnny enrolled Minji in the past, none of them compared to the passion she had for ballet. Her work ethic was alike to Johnny’s: if they want something, they’ll do whatever it takes to make it possible.

Aside from being a star student in her school, she’s aiming to be a star ballerina. Being the supportive father he is, Johnny was on board to do what it takes to make it happen. Unlike his parents trying to mold him into the next heir of their company, he’s all ears to the dreams of his daughter. His only dream for her was to be live long and happy, not to merely pass on anything.

Johnny lost so much in his young life, so he doesn’t want to lose Minji in any way. As much as he loves his profession, he wanted to be an active father as much as time allowed it. He mostly received complaints from others that he’s not prioritizing his time well, but after hearing your kind words, this heavy weight on his shoulders decreased. All this doubt started to vanish after meeting you for the first time.

“Dad! Isn’t Teacher (Y/N) so beautiful?” Minji honored whilst gazing at the twinkling night sky. “She loves what she does and shines at it.”

Johnny was accustomed to his female co-workers throwing themselves at him due to his attractiveness, more than flattered even to have them feeling weak for him. Yes, there were times he used it to his advantage, some he frankly turned down. 

However, the radiance you carried whether you’re dancing or not was something Johnny couldn’t cease wondering about. Unknown to him, he’s the one getting weak. Behold, an unlocked first for the confident CEO.

“Yes, Minji. I do think Teacher (Y/N) is absolutely beautiful.”

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Share your Progress Tag

tagged by @jessicas-story-blog22 ty!

Rules: When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Using Syndicate

Original to Current Iteration

I'm changing the format the previous one was in and adding this category instead of Inspiration because of the process of this.

So, when I was a baby writer, I started a story I called The Light at the End of the Tunnel (I got attached to the name but it was never perfect). It was one of the first things I wrote on a computer, and the first typed story I finished. Because of that it has always been important to me.

(gets longwinded so under the cut)

Anyway. It was even more edgy angsty than it is now. That story was about a kid named Cecil, who went through various torture methods at the hands of a group of torturers. His only friend was Mika, who cared for him and kept him relatively safe, as best she could. (I was like, 12, when I came up with this.)

From that grew some really good components: I learned how to write dark really well. I fell in love with betrayal and with secrets as plot elements. Terran became a character-- at the time, a twist that he was on their side, and a dip into exploring the pressure he was under for having to pretend. And, most importantly, the twist that Raymond, someone Cecil had only heard about, was alive. (There was also magic in this version, Mika always had emotions poers and Ramyond always had mental ones. But it was just there, not very salient, and no worldbuilding.)

Anyway. I finish that story. I celebrate in relief. I take a break, I work on other things. I take writing classes, I get practice. I rewrite it, mainly just tidying things up and adding some scenes. I develop Raymond and Terarn's romance more (that was there almost since the beginning, but fun fact-- I didn't originally intend it, it was my best friend who said she shipped them). I leave it. I write other things. I write a one-shot taking place after the events of the story that's just kinda fluffy, as fluffy as anything in this story can be. I write a full backstory, with everything that happened in the past. I leave it.

I go to college. I have other stories. I consider TLATEOTT an old draft I remember fondly but know is not very good. I miss parts of it. In a few sad moments, my girlfriend asks about stories to cheer me up, and I tell them about Terran.

I take an advancd writing class and we're supposed to start something new. She says, we can use old characters, but for the most part it has to be new. I brainstorm I try to pick other plots. It occurs to me-- what if I just take the good parts from TLATEOTT?

I go off memory. What was the good parts? How can I change it? I brainstorm. I come up with the magic system, with Calson City. I change it to assassins, as it does what I need it to and works better. I write down notes about Terran. I draw form everything I know already, applying it all to this new world and circumstances. A new story forms, where the twist halfway through is now the premise. I change what didn't make sense.

In all that, the one major thing that didn't fit? the original main character. R.I.P Cecil.

Preparation

I touched on this already-- I don't really have much research for this I usually have to look up things like how burn healing works and the laws regarding fire escapes and how hostage negotiations usually work. Most of my prep is worldbuilding and plot planning, and brainstorming ideas about what's gone down in the past. I have a notebook for brainstorming, which I try to copy into documents on my computer so it's easier to find.

Art Process

I don't have art but I do have a moodboard, playlist, and I've made picrews of the characters. Oh am um... my best friend did make fanart of the original. It doesn't make sense now, but it's fantastic.

Thoughts

I didn't say this about the process: first of all, it's on and off. I go though such long periods where i can't write more of this, can't figure out where it's going. But I'm gunna do this one. I know it. This is a big one for me, and my soul is in it.

Second, writeblr is a part of it. I decided to catch up on tags... and I might have enough inspiration to get back to writing it. seriously,it is unbelievable the amount of help it is to share snippets. especially when people reply to it.

Tagging @sleepy-night-child @diphthongsfordays @thegreatobsesso & open tag for anyone who wants to!

[the---hermit]

Hello there! Since for some reason there is now over 1000 of you following this sideblog, and many weren't around when I first posted an introduction, I decided to create a new one. Plus in less then a month this blog will turn 1 year old! So, I guess this is a good moment to do this.

about me

my name is Cris, I'm 22, I'm bi, and I use she/her pronouns out of habit, but honestly I couldn't care less

I'm from Italy

I study history in university, and I am currently at the end of my third year (it should tecnically be my last year, but I still have a few exams left, plus my final thesis, so I will be graduating a bit later)

I have studied languages in high school so I also speak English (duh) and a bit of French (I have forgotten the majority of things I had learned in my German class, but I'd like to pick it up again)

I'm a pagan witch, I love gardening and nature in general, and one of my biggest hobbies is to dry my own herbs to mix them into herbal teas

other hobbies include reading, drawing, writing, cooking and going on walks in the woods

about the blog

this is actually a side blog! My main blog is @cri080799 it's an old mess of random reblogs.

I also have a witchy sideblog called @the-hermit-witch

I created this studyblr/bookblr/whatever last year, to help me stay motivated, and it has worked very well so far. I like to think of this blog as a journal more than everything

I mainly post about what I am studying and reading

on the topic of books I am also pretty active on Goodreads (there I post book reviews both in English and Italian depending on the language of the book I read)

I met some amazing friends thanks to this blog, and hopefully I will meet more!

goals

at the moment my main goal is the keep my motivation up as much as I can. In the past year it hasn't been the best, so I am working on that

finishing all the damn exams I still have to do

write my final thesis

hopefully graduate as soon as I can cause I really want to be done with all the stress

useful tags in the blog

#the---hermit : the tag for all my own posts

#cris speaks : mainly me ranting about stuff

#reblog : pretty self explainatory, everything I reblog from other people

#self reblog : no idea why I am mentioning this but sometimes I reblog some of my old posts and tag them this way

#tips : this is possibly the most useful tag, everything of my own or that I reblog that has study tips, or organization tips and so on

#quotes : again pretty self explainatory

#note to self : stuff I reblog that is maily positive things I should remind myself more often

#book review / #book recomendation : again pretty clear, usually it's me ranting about books I read, with no spoilers

#ask / #answered : usually how I tag the answer from my inbox (btw it's always open, so come and say hi if you want)

#random history fact : I only have a few out at the moment but there's so many little facts that are worth sharing, so keep an eye out cause there's going to be way more in the future

a few amazing studyblr of friends / mutuals I've made in this past year :

@peregrination-studies, @contre-qui , @justanotherstudyblrinthecrowd , @sage-studies .

a few studyblr that inspired me to start this sideblog :

@myhoneststudyblr,@rylie-studies , @serendistudy, @starrystvdy and @gaaandaaaalf.

I am surely forgetting about someone or about something, and for this I apologize. As I have said my inbox is always open so come say hi, I am now going to end this post or else I'll just randomly keep ranting about useless stuff.

[poorly-drawn-akira]

Jojo’s Bizarre Fantasy Lore Masterpost

Locations:

Kimyonah- Name of the Pangea-esque continent where the majority of people live excluding small island populations and populations beneath the oceans. Cities: Bohken- A relatively centrally located city-state. A central hub for trading of all kinds and neutral ground for diplomatic meetings. It hosts the Council of Races, a collection of representatives from a handful of Kimyonah's races who wish to view policies as a collaborative effort.

Orinoco- An underwater city of the Moringua people. Their ruling city. It is the only settlement of the Moringua Empire that is partially above water. This part is the hall where the king receives foreign dignitaries, diplomats, guests, etc. Nalion- A small, peaceful kingdom open to all, regardless of past or race.  Was founded by a man named Erikson, but is currently lead by his son.  Though officially labeled as a kingdom, Nalion functions more like a closely knit town. Its western border is lined by the coast, and its northern, southern, and eastern borders are lined by forest. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Vyliesi- A western kingdom that is mainly populated by humans.  It's customs are fairly old-fashioned, though the current king is trying to change this.  It is said that this land is home to pegasi, and its terrain is fairly mountainous. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Hilonia- A desert kingdom that not much is known about. It is said that the inhabitants are all 'wild animals', and most who try and travel there never return for one reason or another. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Ashen Grounds- A medium sized, recently discovered place that resides within a decrepit forest. The kingdom got that name because when it was discovered, the whole chunk of it had seemingly no live fauna, making it hard to breath, the ground permanently stained with ash, there are barely any buildings except for the jagged pikes of stone, and large castle of obsidian. The only “living” things inhabiting there are the king himself and these sentient constructs made out of ash and fire magic. (by kalos-absurd-crusade)

Riposo:  A fortress city that was originally used as a strategic point to intercept other nation invasions.. Now though it houses many adventures and their respective guilds.  A place that is always bustling with people with requests for adventurers.  With requests being as simple as gathering herbs, to battling the most fearsome of monsters. (by asknerdizzy)

Cielo:  A city in the clouds that is mostly populated by avian like species.  It is a city that rarely ever lets anyone enter.  The residents who choose to leave can’t enter again unless on urgent business with a seal of approval from a ruler.  This is all due to a massacre that happened when someone brought in an unknown individual who seemed to know the city’s layout beforehand without them ever entering it.  It was suspected that one of their own was behind it, so this rule was set in place.   It’s highly guarded, with mages working around the clock casting anti-intelligence magic.  The city is filled with high class individuals, and relics of the Gods that most be protected at all costs. (by asknerdizzy)

Villages: Morven- A small village located in the Kaldae Mountains inhabited by humans. Winters can be rough, but it is sustained by snow runoff in the warmer months, which allows the villagers to store enough food for these winters. Due to it's isolation, they rarely trade. Malik-Kei is worshiped as a guardian of the village who protects it’s inhabitants through the tough winters. A shrine to her resides on the south side of the village. It houses her stone.

Aether- Tree bound village of the Gruidae people. Due to a near genocide that only halted 30 years ago, Aether was established as a magically protected city for Gruidaes.The main temple of Crah-Dia is located in it’s center, and there are several members of the Fellowship of Everyday Miracles who live within Aether who serve to protect it. Wasamond-  A small village under the lake of Bridgegar Thicket for merfolk, it's mainly women and children but there are mermen. It's a place to avoid the unstable conflict of the seas. (by moriohs-little-demon) Rootwood- A small village built and inhabited by the Elzen people. (by dio-of-shadows)

Landmarks: Kaldae Mountains- A large mountain rage in the north-east of Kimyonah. It contains the isolated village of Morven. Morven is located on one of the lower peaks, Malik-Kei, named by the people of Morven for their guardian spirit of the same name. Bridgegar Thicket- A forest with a large lake in the middle. The forest is bordered by nigh impenetrable thick, thorny brush. Due to being unable to see past it, most creatures write the forest off as nothing of value. Openings to the forest are only passable by taurfolk and nature spirits. (by moriohs-little-demon) Thalai's Grove: named after a rumored dragon that was laid to rest there, the grove is home to a large lake with an under ground cave system. In the caves, there is a shrine to the god of health, Taymos, where Elves would pray for good health and leave gifts of food, wine and gold. (by hold-my-flowercrown) Eternity Graveyard - A desolate wasteland was a battlefield where warriors from several different nations clashed for supremacy. It now serves as the home base of The Brotherhood of Eternity, and has been the sight where many adventurers meet their end. (by dio-of-shadows)

Battaglia:  An underground  Coliseum lays under the city of Riposo.   It was once, and still is, used as a shelter to the people in times when the city is under siege.  The Coliseum itself is protected with many Magic runes lining its walls that makes it difficult to destroy from most magic.  When the city is not under attack the Colosseum is used to advertised adventures and their skills.  Usually battling other adventures or caught monsters in the ring.  Some common folk come down to watch the spars for entertainment, some watch to find new people to join their groups, and some bet on the battles.  These bets are what largely helps with the financial upkeep of the Colosseum.  The inner hallways of the Colosseum are filled with many stalls for blacksmiths to advertise their wears to the people. The more powerful weapons are bought here. (by asknerdizzy)

---------------

Races:

Humans: Humans are as the name implies. However, they can possess varying levels of magical ability. Witches- Humans who have above average magical abilities. White and black witches exist. White witches may form guilds in order to train others and to more effectively do good, but it's not uncommon to encounter lone white witches. Black witches tend to chose to be alone, although rumors of a guild exist. Black witches may not actively seek to do harm, but what sets them apart from white witches is a desire to grow their power whether that be through deals with demons, rituals, etc.

Half Bloods: Demons- Half demons are typically the result of a masculine demon and a feminine mortal creature (usually humanoid). Half demons tend to possess some level of dark magic and horns of some kind, although these horns tend to be smaller in size compared to a full demon. Other indications may include odd body markings, animal body parts such as legs or paws, and, very rarely, extra eyes or wings. Half-Demons are considered to be rare. They also often gather a following from cults, and they can become immortal and maintain this immortality if they consume the souls of the damned at an extremely high rate. (added by dio-of-the-shadows) Dragons-

Humanoids: Arisen- A blanket term for any creature brought back to life by necromancy. Typically, an Arisen was human, but most humanoids can be subjected to the process. An Arisen will maintain their personality and memories without additional spells being applied. An Arisen cannot heal themself when injured and has no need for sleep or for food. If an Arisen is taken too far from who resurrected them, they will begin to decay.  Their creation is frowned upon, if not outright banned and/or punishable by execution, by most settlements and races.

Gruidae- Tall humanoids who can take the form of a crane. In their humanoid form, they have small feathery tufts resembling small wings where other humanoids would have ears. Over the past few centuries, they were nearly wiped out entirely for their feathers and blood, both of which were widely used in potion crafting. The remaining population resides almost entirely in Aether, and allow themselves to be governed by the Council of Races, of which they have a member in. Whoever is elected for the Council also serves as Aether's governor. Akumaoni- A race that is considered to be the guardians of the afterlife.  They are humanoid in appearance, though they typically have horns, sharp teeth, and their pupils are always little more than a slit.  They are said to work beside the gods, and even are considered a part of the Renian Pantheon, and their numbers are few. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Komoriberi- Humanoids with the ability to transform into bats. While in humanoid form, they retain thier wings, fangs, and have bat-like ears. Their diet mainly consists of fruit and small animals, and though they are often mistaken for vampires the sun has no more affect on them than it does on a normal human. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Dragons- Humanoids that have the ability to transform into a... well a dragon.  The exact type of dragon can vary (as can size), and most have some sort of elemental affinity.  While in their humanoid form they will not have access to many of their abilities, though they will usually have horms and some may have wings as well. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Divine Dragons- Similar to dragons, but have an extended lifespan and divine powers as they are considered to be gods. It is possible for a dragon to only be half divine if only one of their parents is of the divine lineage, in which case they will have little divine powers if any at all. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Dryads- An all female species of spirits that reside in the forests. They punish trespassers and keep peace in their forest by any means necessary. While they aren't immortal, they do have a very extended life expectancy compared to humans, about triple that of the average healthy adult human male. (by moriohs-little-demon)

Angels:  A Humanoid race that has the only avian trait of wings sprouting on their backs.  They are more adapt with the magic affinity of light and fire than some species and have a longer life span than humans. (by asknerdizzy) Okami- A race of wolf folks. They keep themselves away in the woods and the outlands of the continent. Being canines, they are actually omnivorous, and hold no ill will towards other species. However, during full blood moons, they become irrational and feral, attacking anything in sight (by moriohs-little-demon) Werewolves- Infected creatures who take on the tails, ears, and rough warm furlike hair of the Okami. However, they keep most of their original race's appearance during the daytime. They experience feral instincts more often as they are not raised to overcome the animal instinct to hunt, happening every full moon. (by moriohs-little-demon)

Elves: Elzen- Elves recognizable by their pointed ears and mastery of magic. Once every 100 years there is an Elzen oracle who is able to look into the future. (by dio-of-the-shadows)

Merpeople: Moringua- An entirely male race of eel mermen who live in temperate oceans. They are immortal, but not invulnerable (weapons kill them, but time won't). They are known for their bloodthirsty, warmongering natures. Due to this, they are governed by both a King and a General. The General overseeing military plans, training of forces, and the overall making sure the other elected officials are doing their jobs. King serves to handle diplomatic affairs with other races and to oversee reproduction. Reproduction is a closely guarded secret. Several theories exist on the subject, but no definitive answers have been given by the Moringas.

---------------

Factions:

Paladins and Soldiers: Order of Hamon- A paladin order who work out of Bohken. They modeled themselves after folk heroes of human lore such as Jonathan Joestar. They resolve themselves to uphold the laws of the land and to protect innocents without question. This does lead to some of their members making lawful stupid choices. Their patron deity is Sol, the God of the sun.

White Lily Platoon- A small army hailing from Vyliesi, lead by the royal knight Sir Jacain.  The lord that this platoon serves is unknown, as is their current objective. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

The Bladed Roses- A small traveling group of do-gooders, lead by a knight named Taiana.  The group is quite odd-ball in terms of composition, but is almost always accepting new members. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Clerics: The Fellowship of Everyday Miracles- A cleric order who's main temple is located in Aether. They travel about, healing people where needed. They will often stick around a town for a few weeks, accepting shelter and food in return for healing, before leaving again. Some may chose to travel with questing groups if they come across them, or if asked by said group. Their patron deity is Crah-Dia, the God of healing.

Assassins: Bloodwater Assassins guild- A small group of assassins that has been known to do even the dirtiest of jobs.  However, it is rumored that a few members have been committing traitorous actions as of late. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Bandits: The Brotherhood of Eternity- A cult of bandits that worship the one true ruler of hell and earth. They are known for stealing from various kingdoms and pitting other countries against one another so they can collect the spoils. (by dio-of-the-shadows)

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Deities:

Gods and Goddesses: Sol- The God of the sun. He is associated with the sun and shining light on hidden things. This last aspect is what the Order of Hamon focuses on: Bringing what is in the dark into the light. Certain mortals are said to be blessed by Sol, and this gift is known as Hamon: The ability to deliver the sun's energy through their hands. Taymos- A God of health. (by hold-my-flowercrown) Crah-Dia- A God of healing. He is associated with healing through magic as opposed to medicine. His temple is located inside of a large, hollow tree in Aether where a spring with healing properties resides. The World Serpent (Deceased)- A deity of the abyss of the unknowable night and proclaimed Father of monsters; this foul snake sought to swallow the world in order to propagate - claiming that in its bowels it’s followers would be eternal and emerge in the new world as saints. When slain by a band of unspoken heroes, this dark god cursed the cowards and weaklings who did not fall upon the invading blades to save their god and master. What has become of this cult remains mostly unknown… (by BD-Handystand) Renian Pantheon- A group made up of many of the Nalionian and Vyliesian gods, many of which are considered to be divine dragons.  The main gods names are as follows: Shoza, Naoto, Fionei, Kaisho, Aiota, Aogei, Juniji, Synia, Altitha, and Yomeinu. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Shoza- The original divine dragon, he is known as a god of the skies. However, he turned his back on mortals long ago, and now has little involvement in their affairs despite still being a major religious figure. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Hina (deceased)- A divine dragon known as the goddess of love, she gave her life to avert a great tragedy.  She was wed to Shoza, and many speculate that her death lead him to become bitter and cold. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Naoto- The son of Shoza and heir to the divine throne, though little is actually written of him in religious texts.  He is said to wield a divine lance, and to travel the world in an attempt to bring peace. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Fionei- A dragon whom ascended to godhood upon marrying Naoto, and is said to bring good fortune to those who practice the arts. As she was not born a god, she has no true divine abilities. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Kaisho- Son of Naoto who inherited all the powers of the divine.  He is a god of knowledge who is believed to have rejected godhood. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Aiota- One of two twin gods, who is also the daughter of Naoto and considered the goddess of rebellion.  It is said that she only inherited one divine ability, but little else is known besides that and her name. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Aogei- The other twin god, who is also the son of Naoto and considered a god of nature.  It is said he can heal others and control the growth of plants, but not much else besides that and his name is known. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Juniji- A fell god said to be Shoza's brother. Supposedly had only one divine ability, and the power he gained from it drove him mad. Little else is known. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Synia- An Akumaoni goddess who rules the afterlife, though she often more-so acts as the guardian to its gate.  Is said to take on a role similar to the Enma. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux)

Altitha- A human who ascended to become the goddess of strength and vengeance after losing someone to Juniji. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) 

Yomeinu (deceased)- Former god with the power to raise the dead. His species was unknown, but many feared him due to his powers. In reality, he only ever used them to hold a yearly festival in which families could give their loved ones a final send off. (by daily-rubbersoul-redux) Mylia- A worshiped deity of the Dryad race. She is said to be the creator of the Bridgegar Thicket to protect the bounty of nature from the likes of war, pestilence, and death. When prayed to, one may expect health, luck, and bountiful hunt in their future, so long as they do not waste the gift life has brought them. (by moriohs-little-demon) Demons and Spirits: Cake- A minor demon of wrath. Malik-Kei- The alleged spirit of a young woman who died in the cold waiting for her fiance to return. According to the legend, her body turned to stone and her spirit remained as a guardian of the mountain. A sacrificial ceremony that involves a mock wedding to the Malik-Kei stone is preformed by the village of Morven during years of unsatisfactory snowfall. An unmarried man between 16 and 30 is chosen by lottery to be sacrificed. The "groom" is then dressed in traditional wedding garb (which is very light as weddings are traditionally done only in summer). The sacrifice is tied to the stone so that he is kneeling next to the stone, and a wedding ceremony is held. The sacrifice is then left out with the belief being that if he is frozen to death overnight that the sacrifice was accepted. Black Mages- Considered to be great wielders of magic in the mortal realm, and are extremely well known for diving into the darker arts. They are only known to be demons and half demons. (by dio-of-the-shadows)

Corrupted Spirit:  Spirits generally are apparitions of elements, such as nature.  Several of them have some form of sentience. However a corrupted spirit is one that was tampered with either by magic, great tragedy, or the desire of the spirit.  Turning it into a physical manifestation based on the intent of the spirit, magic or tragedy.  The spirit can be corrupted  by a cleric or paladin. (by asknerdizzy)

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[i-like-5sos]

No Idea [Malum Fic]

PAIRING: Calum Hood x Michael Clifford

WORD COUNT: 6428 

WARNINGS: Drinking, swearing, and just some angst 

SUMMARY: After moving across the country to escape the heartache that high school brings and to begin his first year at University, Michael finds himself face to face with the very person that caused his heartbreak: Calum Hood. 

A/N: This was made specifically for Mandie for The Club Fic Gift Exchange ! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written any mxm BUT I’ve missed it and can’t wait to start writing more (if you have any suggestions on how to improve please send them my way, I’ll take all the help I can get).

Fifteen minutes late. I’m fifteen minutes late to my first class as a University student. Great.

I burst out through the doors of the residency building, almost crashing into some blonde girl who’s face leaves my memory as quickly as it entered, and run as fast as I can across the campus to The Arts building. Thankfully I listened to Mom’s advice and looked up a map of the school last night or I’d be fucked right now. Musical Theory. Monday, 8AM. Room 102: Arts Building. I check the room number on my schedule twice before taking a deep breath and opening the door to my classroom.

The door opens to the back of the room and multiple heads spin around to face me. I can feel my face getting hot as I try to disappear into myself and search for a place to sit down. As to be expected, almost every table in the room is full and there’s nowhere to sit… Unless I want to join one of the tables of three and converse in small talk with a group of people that obviously don’t want me to sit with them- and let’s be clear; I don’t want to do that.

I almost settle for a table with two girls seated at it, but then notice the table in the front of the room with only one person there. Thank god. I head toward the dark-haired boy at the table and quietly sit across from him. He doesn’t react as I sit down, his head buried in his folded arms on the table.

I would normally never be caught dead at the front of the room, but here I am, sitting so close to the professor that I can smell his cheap cologne, having to share a table with some random guy who is probably going to hate me for ruining his table of solitude.  

As the class continues, I do my best to follow along with the PowerPoint slides on my screen while also trying to focus on what the professor is saying at the front of the room, but I can’t help but glance over to the brunette across from me every chance I get. His head hasn’t left his arms since I’ve sat down, and I’m pretty sure he’s asleep… Maybe I should wake him up. Maybe he’s dead. I begin to picture what would happen if my classmate had died sitting across from me. Would I have to talk to the police? Would I be a suspect? Am I obligated to go to his funeral and give a speech? What would I even say? What if-

“You will have two months to complete this project and it will be worth thirty percent of your final grade. Get to work.”

I turn to face the Professor, and I realize that I may have zoned out for the entire explanation of a project that’s worth almost a third of my final grade… awesome.

Letting out a sigh, I turn back to read through the notes on my screen and, of course, none of them have anything to do with a huge project. There is no way I am going to ask the professor to repeat everything he’d just said.

As my classmates begin to talk amongst themselves about the project that I know nothing about, I glance over to the boy across from me that may or may not be dead and decide that now’s a good a time as any to find out.

“Hey” I say quietly.

No response.

I repeat myself a little louder, “Hey… Uh, my name’s Michael.”

No response again.

“Dude, seriously?” I huff, before picking up my biggest textbook and dropping it onto the table.

It worked! His head shoots up and I notice the headphones in his ears. That explains a lot. I also notice that the boy I’ve been watching all morning sitting across from me is the same boy I’d spent the majority of my high school years watching from across the room. Calum Hood. I haven’t seen him since our high school graduation last June, but he looks about the same. Same dark hair, same brown eyes, same three moles on his cheek, same annoyed and confused look on his face- oh no wait that’s new.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He glares at me as he rips the headphones out of his ears.

“I thought you were dead or asleep or something.” I shrug before changing the topic, “I didn’t know you got accepted here.”

“Well, obviously I’m not dead, and if I was sleeping, that was a cruel way to get me to wake up... Remind me never to have you actually wake me up.” He places his headphones into his backpack before continuing. “And um, yeah, I was torn between a few different universities but settled on the one farthest from home… Looks like you did the same?”

I nod and chuckle softly. “Yeah. Fuck that place.”

“How pop punk of you.” He laughs, and it brings me back to being fifteen and pathetically swooning over that very sound, never being the one to have caused it. If only fifteen-year-old me could see me now.

Grounding myself, I quickly try to think of something that isn’t completely embarrassing, and remember the mysterious project that I know mothing about.

“So… did you catch anything the prof was saying about this project worth thirty percent of our grade… cause I might have zoned out the whole time...”

He looks confused for a moment, before directing his attention to his laptop.

“I can’t blame you for not paying attention. Five minutes into his lecture I stopped listening to him and started listing to my music instead. Figured I could just read the Power Point later tonight.” He types something before continuing, “I looked through the material on the class page before the lecture started and I think I saw something about a group project that was worth thirty percent… let me just… Okay yeah, here it is.” He turns his laptop to face me, pointing at the assignment on the screen and showing me how her got there.

I quickly follow his instructions to the page and begin reading about the assignment. It’s a group project for 2-3 people about how emotions and feelings are portrayed through song. We’re all supposed to draw an emotion from the professor -that explains why people keep getting up to talk to him- and write an essay about a song that has made us feel this way. Once we finish our essays, we’re supposed to go back to our partners and make a playlist of 25 songs that combines each the emotions we were individually assigned and talk about how easily these emotions can be portrayed in music. Seems simple enough… Except for the whole partner part.

I look up from my computer screen, and before I can talk myself out of it, I ask Calum if he’d like to partner up for the project. To my surprise, he agrees and before I know it, I’m looking down at the paper I had pulled out of the tin can on my professor’s desk. Longing. What kind of lame-ass emotion is longing? I sit back down at our table and show Calum my paper.

“Longing? That’s going to be so easy to write about! And it’ll go great with love. This is going to be a piece of cake.” He enthusiastically, typing away on his laptop.

“You got love? Are you kidding me? That’s such bullshit. Every song is about love… or sex… or drugs, and I don’t think sex or drugs are emotions… so like that’s not fair.” I look back at my small slip of paper, “How am I even supposed to write about longing?”

He breaks away from his typing long enough to look at me, “Longing is so easy to write about. Haven’t you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? Or missed someone or something like that?”

“I don’t know… maybe.” I pause for a moment, “I don’t know.”

He looks back to his screen and continues to type. “Okay, I looked up the word longing and it says here that ‘Longing is mainly a blend of the primary emotions of love or happiness and sadness or depression’. So there. You can focus on one of those four. It’s not that hard, Michael.”

Hearing Calum say my name takes me back for another brief moment. Even though we went to the same school for four years, I never really knew if he had known my name or not… we never really talked or hung out in the same crowds, so I figured it was safe to assume he didn’t even know I existed.

He shakes his head and looks at his screen again as I try to avoid the thoughts of how smooth my name rolled off his tongue that are currently running wild in my head, to focus on what he had said about the different ways longing could be portrayed and experienced.

Just as I begin to reflect on the last few years of my life for a moment that could stand out as ‘experiencing longing’, I’m interrupted by the sounds of my classmates packing up their belongings. I look to my left and notice Calum suddenly standing next to me.

“Here,” he says, handing me a sticky note with a phone number on it. “text me so we can meet up to work on the project.”

“I uh- thanks.” I stumble over my words as I take the paper from him and stick it to the inside of my laptop.

When I turn back to Calum, he’s already on his way to the door. I quickly pack up my books and pause for a moment to look at the sticky note before shutting my laptop, ignoring the heat on my face and the feeling in my stomach.

. . .

I feel like I may have stepped into an alternate dimension when I entered that classroom two weeks ago, because I’ve somehow found myself in the Calum Hood’s dorm room. By choice. His choice. Who would have thought?

To be honest, I’m kind of surprised at how easily we get along. We both have the same taste in music, the same sense of humor, and the same hobbies. Who knew we were so similar? Had we actually spoken to one another in high school, there would have been no stopping a friendship from forming.

Since texting him the day after our class, we’ve pretty much been inseparable. So, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m hanging out with Calum in his dorm room… but I kind of am.

“Okay seriously, Calum. How do you already have four pages written out for your essay?” I ask, scrolling through the Word document open on his laptop.

“It’s like you said, love is easy to write about… You know what else is easy to write about?” He spins around on his desk chair, taking a break from his game to face me. “Longing. Have you even started your essay, or were you just planning on taking me down with you when you flunk out?”

I set the laptop down next to me on his bed. “The only one flunking out here is your team in Fifa.”

“That was a shit insult and you know it.”

“You’re a shit insult.”

He shakes his head and laughs. “Mate, for real. Do you need help writing your part?”

“No. I told you, I’ll be fine. I just need some inspiration… Which is what I should have gotten from your essay but the whole damn thing is about your family. It is so boring! Where’s the drama? Weren’t you a ladies’ man in high school? Where’s that Calum?”

With his eyebrows raised he looks taken aback for a moment and bursts out laughing.

“Did you seriously just call fourteen-year-old me a ‘ladies’ man’?” He asks, making air quotes at the last part.

I shrug and he continues laughing.

“Okay fine, you have a point. But like... what even is longing?”

His laughter softens and he rolls his eyes, smiling at me.

“Do you need me to pull up the definition again?”

“Fuck off.” I huff.

“Okay, fine… What about like, leaving town to come here. Didn’t you miss your girlfriend? Or your friends? Or maybe your family?”

“Girlfriend?” I laugh loudly. There’s no way he’s serious right now… “No. Absolutely no girlfriend. As for my family? I honestly couldn’t be happier to be on my own and out of the house... Also, it’s kind of hard to miss your friends when facetime exists.” I lay back on his bed and prop myself up with my elbow. “What else ya got?”

“Okay lone wolf… what about uh… okay I’ve got it. What about longing for like… touch, or affection, or love, or… fucking I don’t know, food?”

“Yeah, cause I’ll definitely get an A writing my essay about craving a Big Mac. Maybe I can get extra credit if I bring one in.”

He glares at me and rolls his eyes again before shaking his head and turning around to focus his attention back to his game. I drop my head onto his pillow and sigh. Watching him play, my mind wanders as I being to think about his words. Touch. Affection. Love. My heart aches for the poor fifteen-year-old boy I once was, longing for those exact things for over a year and never getting them. I remember the emotional shut down I forced myself to do to move on from the brown-eyed boy that occupied my mind daily. I sigh deeply, taking in the musky scent of the room around me, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I finally know what I’ll be writing about.

. . .

“Are you sure you know where this party is? I’m pretty sure we’re lost.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure they said it’s in this neighborhood… there should be a street coming up soon that starts with an S… or maybe it was a B. Whatever. We’ll start to see people on the street sooner or later and follow the noise to the right house.”

Calum and I continue to walk aimlessly down the suburban streets with houses that all look the same, in search for a party that I’m not even sure exists at this point.

“You’d think, for someone that probably went to every high school party, you’d know to write down an address when it’s given to you.” I grumble as my feet begin to ache.

“You know, you make a lot of assumptions about what I was like in high school. Weren’t you ever told not to assume?” He says, bumping his shoulder against mine.

“You’re really going to tell me that you never went to any parties in high school? I seriously doubt that.”

“Okay… Well, yeah I went to some parties. Didn’t everyone though?”

“What? No.” I scoff. “Dude, not everyone was invited to parties like Mr. Cool Guy over here.”

“Am I supposed to be Mr. Cool Guy? That’s a laugh.”

“Mate. Just admit it. You were one of the cool kids and you know it.” I bump my shoulder back against his.

“Was not.”

“You were to! Everyone knew who you were. Everyone wanted to either date you or be you. You can’t be that oblivious.” I kick a small pebble as we cross yet another unidentifiable street.

“Date me or be me huh? Did you want to be me?”

Fucking hell. Why am I still allowed to have the ability to speak without a filter?

“No.” I focus my gaze on the cracks in the sidewalk, making sure to avoid any possible eye contact.

It’s quiet for a moment as a car drives past us, filling the silence before Calum speaks again.

“Well, you obviously didn’t want to date me. So, your theory is clearly wrong.”

I walk beside him silently as I debate whether to admitting to the fact that I had the biggest crush on him for over a year when we were younger.

“See, I’m right.”

“I did though.” I choke out before I’m able to stop myself. Fuck.

“What?” He stops walking.

Well, this was fun while it lasted… I wonder if our professor will still let me join another group, seeing as Calum isn’t going to want to talk to me ever again.

May as well finish the job then.

“I did want to date you.” I confess softly as I stop in front of him, keeping my eyes on the ground.

“You’re not... gay though.”

I- What? He’s got to be kidding me right now. I’m pretty sure everyone in high school knew I was gay. Hell, I came out to my parents in the fifth grade.

“Are you fucking with me? Calum.” I finally gain the courage to meet my eyes with his and see him shaking his head. “I’m gay as fuck. Always have been.”

“No way. What about Jessica Hunter?��

We’re awkwardly standing in the middle of the sidewalk and I’m completely over-aware of the man walking his dog across the street as Calum continues to stare at me with a dumbstruck look on his face. Well, at least he hasn’t left yet.

“What about Jessica? She and I hang out from time to time and listen to music together. We’re friends.” Oh god. “Wait- are you thinking that her and I? Oh god. Never.” I shake my head to try and get that image out of it.

“No no... She was in love with you! The way she always talked about you, hung around you, and hung off you… You went to Prom together! You were the reason I never even had a chance with her. I spent so many hours thinking about you and why she chose you over me and I…” he tampers off and continues to look utterly confused.

Am I being Punked right now? There must be a hidden camera somewhere. This can’t be real.

“No Calum. Oh my god. Mate. Jessica and I were always together talking about you. She didn’t want me. She wanted you… We both did. We only went to Prom together cause she was still hung up on you and didn’t have the guts to ask you herself. Plus, you did that whole stag Prom thing with Timothy Anderson anyway.”

He continues to stand there, trying to piece together the story he had so wrongly created around himself.

“So… You’re gay.”

“Yup.”

“And you actually used to … like me?”

“Yup”

“And Jessica-“

“Never had a chance with me. Because I’m gay and she had the hots for you anyway… Are we all caught up? Can we please keep walking? I’m getting cold.”

“Man, did I have this whole thing wrong or what…” He shakes his head and starts walking again.

We continue heading to the party that totally doesn’t exist and get about half a block away from where we had previously stopped before Calum stops walking again.

“Dude! Seriously?” I sigh deeply and stop a few feet in front of him.

“You don’t uh… still have feeling for me or anything. Do you?”

“Yes Calum. I’m completely head over heels for you and plan to propose to you when we get to the party in front of everyone.” His mouth drops and I roll my eyes. “Fuck off. No. Cal, I don’t still have feelings for you. That was years ago. Now can we please keep walking? I’m going to fucking die of hypothermia.”

“Okay… you’re right. Sorry.” He mutters, clearly embarrassed and continues to walk again.

At least I’m not the only one that’s embarrassed.

We walk silently for a few minutes and I feel his fingertips brush against mine and my heart flutters softly. Shit.

. . .

“Are you even listening to me Mike?”

I look up from my phone to see Calum glaring at me. He burst into my dorm room about 45 minutes ago insisting we practice our presentation for the millionth time since he finished his essay. Of course, mine’s not finished yet, but at least I have something to write about now. But, without mine to practice, he’s just been reading his on a loop – I personally think he’s trying to annoy me to death. Jokes on him though, he’s got a nice voice.

“I can only hear your essay so many times before my brain starts to block it out to preserve my sanity.”

“You wouldn’t have to hear it so much if we had something else to practice… like, I don’t know- maybe your easy perhaps?”

How subtle. Ever since he finished his essay (overachiever much?), he’s been on my ass about mine. Even if I actually had it finished, there’s no way in Hell I’ll be letting him see this – let alone hear me read it out loud – until I have to.

“Dude. I’ve told you like eighty times now. I hate presenting stuff. I’m not doing it any more than I have to. Being in front of everyone, having them all stare at me- judging me? Fuck that. Once is enough. I don’t need you judging me too.”

“You honestly think I’m going to judge you? I don’t buy it. You’re Michael Clifford. You don’t give a shit about what other people think about you.”

I can’t help but laugh out loud. If only he knew.

“Well, when I’m putting myself out there in front of a whole room of people then yeah, I’m going to give a shit about what they think.”

“Putting yourself out there? Mate, it’s an essay. You sure you’re not just making up excuses to cover up the fact that you haven’t started writing it yet?”

Calum runs his finger through his hair, and I try not to stare. Why did he have to come to my school again, be in my class again, make my heart ache again. I feel like this time is worse. Being this close, not being able to touch him in the ways I want. Is this some horrible karma for complaining about longing? I shake my head at the joke that I call my love life and push past it like I always do.

“Maybe, but I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

He throws a pillow at me and tells me to shut up before beginning to read his presentation yet again.

. . .

As I approach Calum’s door, I look down at the folded mess of papers in my hands and decide to quickly shove them into my backpack to make sure he doesn’t try to take them and read my shitty essay beforehand.

I pull my bag off my back and drop to my knees to put the papers away. I finish zipping it up and throw it over my shoulder as I hear the door open in front of me. I look up and see an eye full of Calum’s junk. My eyes widen and I can feel my cheeks heat up as I quickly look away and stand up. I try not to look at his face and pray that my cheeks aren’t as red as they feel.

“At least buy me dinner first. Damn.” He laughs. The sound melts my worries away. Mostly.

“Fuck off. We’re going to be late.” I give him a shove and begin walking to the exit.

Walking with one another to our classes has become a part of our daily routine. Calum decided so about a month ago when he found out that I tripped and scrapped my elbow and knee open like a child while running to make it on time for one of my 8AM classes. So now he seems to think that I can’t manage walking to class by myself. I mean, I’m not complaining. I’ll take any time that I can get with him until inevitably ruin the best friendship I’ve ever had.

As we walk, Calum is -of course- rehearsing his presentation again. I sigh and think about the essay sitting in my bag and how he’s going to react to hearing it. Maybe he’ll just drop the class and ghost me. God that will hurt... Maybe I should just fake sick, or say I never finished my part of the project, or-

My spiraling thoughts are cut short by Calum opening the classroom door and I admit defeat. The two of us sit at our table still -sadly- located at the front of the room. As we sit down, I watch Calum pull out his papers and read them over as if he didn’t just prove that he’s got it memorized by reciting it on our walk over. I set up my laptop and shove my papers under it, quickly checking back to Calum to make sure he hasn’t noticed. I exhale softly and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans before opening our Spotify playlist, preparing it for our presentation.

A dread-filed hour and a half passes as I listen to the other groups make their presentations and read through their playlists to try and distract myself.

“Group seven, you’re up.”

My blood goes cold and I feel like I can’t move. I feel Calum swiftly kick my shin under the table.

“That’s us. Get up.” He whispers

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I want to be back at home in my bed. I don’t want this. I don’t want to lose my friend. Why did I have to take this class? Why couldn’t I have been assigned anger. Why didn’t I just sit with those two girls that first day?

“Mike, it’ll be okay. I’ll be up there with you the whole time.” That’s half the problem, Calum.

I sigh deeply and open my eyes. They stay glued to the table as I pick up my laptop and the messy pile of papers underneath it. I walk slowly behind Calum to the front of the room and stop at the podium. I quickly plug my laptop into the screen behind us as he introduces the both of us to the class and begins to talk about the emotions we were assigned before launching into how they relate to one another and briefly talking about our playlist. I feel slightly reassured as he begins to recite the speech that I pretty much have memorized myself at this point. I allow myself to zone out to the sound of his voice as I wait for my cue.

“… and to me that is what love is to me. Family.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans again and pick up my papers with trembling hands. Closing my eyes again, I take another deep breath and open them once finished. Here goes everything.

“I- um- I’m Michael and I uh… I was assigned the emotion longing. When I first read the small paper and saw I had longing, I was confused and upset that my partner had such an easy emotion to talk about and I um… I had something as complex as longing…” I look over to Calum and he gives me a reassuring smile and my heart skips a beat. “Until he helped me realize that longing is pretty much the universal emotion. It branches into every emotion you can think of. It powers them and really brings the depth to them. Once I had realized this, the only issue I had was choosing which emotional experience to talk about. This itself seemed to be an impossible choice, so I’ve decided to talk about an experience that, like longing, incorporates every emotion. Heartbreak. My chosen song for this was No Idea by All Time Low. Song number…” I quickly look over at our playlist and count the sounds out to make sure I’m right before continuing, “seven on our playlist.”

I press play and I continue over the quiet music, telling the story of a young Michael who was in love with a boy that never knew he existed. A boy who broke his heart without ever even speaking to him. A boy who he was still desperately in love with, years later. A never-ending tale of longing.

Once the longest five minutes of my life had passed, I quickly unplug my laptop and hurry back to our table, avoiding eye contact with Calum the entire way back. I grab my books and shove them along with my laptop and essay into my bag. I damage my papers even more by doing so, but I could care less.

Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I leave the room as I hear Calum call out after me. There’s no way he’ll catch up to me. Besides, my Sound Tech class was cancelled today, so even if he does manage to catch up, I won’t be there.

I finally make it back to my room without encountering Calum and I toss my bag onto my chair and dive face first into my bed to wait out the impending consequences for ambushing my best friend in the middle of a room full of people. Why did I do that. Fuck me.

. . . 

Calum had been planning a party over the last few weeks to celebrate us finishing our project. I had told him time and time again that ‘finishing a project’ is the lamest reason to throw a party. But yet, here I am, in my room surrounded by the pulsating beats of music blasting down the dorm hall.

I’ve managed to avoid Calum for the past four days since the most embarrassing moment of my life. He’s tried texting and calling me too many times to count, and he even showed up to my dorm room twice. I, of course, pretended to be asleep both times.

So, I know it has to be Calum banging repeatedly on my door, throwing off the steady beats of music.

“Mike, it’s Calum. Can I come in?” I hear him shout through the door over the music.

I get up and turn the light off before returning to my desk to continue trying to focus on the game on my computer and pretending I’m not here.

“Mate! I saw you turn your light off! Michael! Open the door!”

The banging persists and my head sinks lower and lower into my shoulders. Go away. Please. I don’t want to hurt. Not tonight. Please.

“I’m not leaving! Maybe I’ll just ask one of those art kids for a sculpting knife and cut your door down! HA! You couldn’t avoid me if I did that! You wouldn’t even have a door to lock!” He slurs half of his words and it’s becoming clear that he’s drunk, and drunk Calum doesn’t quit.

I drop my head onto the desk and breathe deeply for a minute, listening to him yell at me through the door, before getting up and walking over to the sound. I pause there for a moment and prepare for the worst.

As soon as I open the door, Calum falls backwards onto my floor. How in the Hell…

“What do you want Calum? I’m busy.”

He stumbles back to his feet, swaying softly while he regains his balance in the centre of my dark room.

“You’re busy? You’re busy. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me for a week? Cause you’re busy?! Fuck off Michael.”

I say nothing as I lean against my open door, waiting for him to get this over with, so I can shut it behind him and go back to my self-loathing.

“Answer me!”

Clearly the silent treatment isn’t working here. I glance at the hallway full of people, some who have begun to stare at the two of us. I grit my teeth and shut the door, letting the darkness engulf my room, leaving only the light of my computer screen allowing us to see one another as we stand together in the center of the room.

“What the Hell do you want me to say?!”

“Well for starters, how about you tell me why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been-“

“Fuck off. You have, and you know it. Now tell me why.”

I shake my head and adjust my weight from foot to foot, shrugging to come up with an excuse.

“Oh. My. God. You’re impossible!” He pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath before I watch his posture soften. “Is this about what you said in your essay?”

I go stiff and remind myself to breathe.

“I knew it! At first, I didn’t think that was it, but it fucking was! Why are you avoiding me? Do you think I’m against your sexuality or some shit? Is that why you won’t talk to me? Cause that’s not true! You never even asked me about what I thought about it. About your feelings for me. How I would feel. About my feelings for- about your sexuality. Your sexuality, yeah... You just never asked me.” His face reddens at the last part, probably from lack of air after that speech.

I listen as he drunkenly rambles at me and try to think of something to say. How can he be right? He can’t be. I shouldn’t have to explain myself or my sexuality to him. Why would it matter what he thought about my sexuality?

“Your opinion of my sexuality isn’t needed Calum.” I say, shaking my head.

He sighs harshly and rubs his temples before stomping his foot. Did he actually just stop his foot? Is he five?

“Michael. That’s not what I’m saying! Listen to me! You’re so busy thinking about yourself and your feelings that you’re missing the bigger picture! You’re not the only person in this situation!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Calum. I’m so sorry my feelings were an inconvenience for you! You wanna talk about it? Let’s talk about it! Have my feelings for you ruined your college experience? Have my feelings for you kept you up every night? Have my feelings for you broken your heart?!”

He is silent for a moment before closing his eyes. His body sways softly as he runs his hands through his hair.

“No-” He sighs deeply before replying quietly, “your feelings for me didn’t do any of those things to me. Mine did.”

He opens his eyes and the light of the computer screen highlights the beautiful features of his skin as his words sink into mine.

I stand there with my jaw dropped, staring at the man in front of me. Did he just say… No. No. This is a sick joke. I feel a lump form in my throat begin to form.

“That’s not funny Calum.” I choke out softly.

“I’m not joking.”

“You’re straight.”

“I’m not! I’m Bisexual.” His cheeks redden softly in the pale blue light.

I stare at him in disbelief. He’s got to be drunk out of his mind to lie like this.

“You’re straight.” I repeat in an attempt to both reassure myself and convince him to stop the lies.

He runs his hands through his hair again and lets out an exasperated groan.

“Michael! Fuck! Why won’t you ever listen! I like you! I’ve been trying to tell you ever since you came out to me on the way to that shitty party. I only stopped myself cause you said you didn’t have feelings for me anymore. I’m bisexual Michael! Why do you think I went to Prom with Timothy?”

“That- that was just a stag thing…”

“I wasn’t ready to come out yet. Neither was he.”

He takes a step closer to me, making me overly aware of how small my dorm room actually is. I can smell his cologne and the alcohol -tequila? Yeah, tequila- wafting off him as the space between our bodies lessens.

“So, you’re… bisexual?”

The relief is visible as it washes over him. He smiles softly and takes another step towards me.

“And you… uh… you like me?”

“You wanna talk about it?” He whispers as his eyes drop to my lips.

“Calum, I-”

Before I can finish whatever stupid thing I was going to say, I feel his hands grab my face and his lips crash into mine. I close my eyes and return the kiss. My hands find their way into his hair as he pushes his body against mine. His hand leaves my cheek and finds its way up the back of my shirt, pulling my body impossibly closer to his.

This is more than I’ve ever dreamt of. Calum Hood. Calum Hood kissing me. His hair is softer than I could have ever imagined. I can taste the tequila on his tongue as it slips ever so slightly in between my lips and I suddenly remember how drunk he is. It takes every part of me to pull away and break the kiss.

“Calum. You’re drunk. I can’t.”

“I can.” He steps towards me with a slightly needy expression in his eyes.

“Calum.” I repeat sternly and step away, my back pressing against the door.

He lets out a defeated sigh as he turns around and walks over to the drawer where I keep my snacks.

“Do you have any bread?”

“I- uh… what?... Maybe, why?”

“I want to sober up so you’ll kiss me again.”

I laugh softly and walk over to help him look.

. . .

I wake up to the feeling of something heavy laying across my face. As I open my eyes and adjust my sights to the room around me, I realize the heavy thing on my face is actually Calum’s arm. The events of last night come back to me like a hurricane. Calum arriving at my dorm room drunk, Calum coming out to me as bisexual and confessing his feelings for me… Calum kissing me, and finally, Calum falling asleep beside me while waiting to sober up… I would say it was a dream, but I now have a red, arm-shaped mark on my face to prove otherwise.

I peel his arm off my head and his eyes shoot open, making me jump a little. I watch as he looks around the room and stops once his eyes meet mine. He smiles sweetly at me.

“Hi.” He says, his voice deep and raspy from just waking up.

“Hey there.” I whisper back.

“Guess what.”

“What.”

He smirks at me as his hand finds its way to my cheek and his body shifts towards mine.

“I think I’m finally sober.”

I exhale as my body relaxes from the tension and worry I didn’t realize I had about last night. I chew on my bottom lip as I wait for him to do something.

His eyes explore my face before slowing down at my lips just as they did last night. He blinks slowly and as his eyes open, I find them looking into mine again. He smiles softly as he closes them once more and leans forward, connecting his lips to mine. His pillowy lips kiss mine softly for the best minute of my life, and when he pulls away, he takes my breath with him. I am utterly awestruck by his beauty and the feeling of his lips on mine.

“How about you and I go on to dinner later and get to know the real us? No more assumptions and no more secrets.”

I nod and smile widely.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I agree as he grins before kissing me again.

[harborpointeblvd]

a rec list no one asked for

someone please read my favorite webcomics and talk about them with me.

part 2

Heesu in Class 2 - complete

Despite both being big dumb idiots who don’t know anything about relationships, Heesu and his next door neighbor Seung Won agree to help each other out with their respective secret crushes. And you can already see where this is going. But while this may sound like the plot of every rom-com ever, this manhwa has something none of them have, and it’s the absolute ray of sunshine that is Heesu. He’s an angel.

Main pairing is an A+. Side pairing is like a C- honestly. Heesu playing wingman for the side pairing is an A+. And speaking of wingmen, Heesu’s and Seung Won’s best friends are great. One of them is a girl character who doesn’t just exist to stir up drama. There was a wlw early on in the story who I thought was being set up to be in a side pair but she’s just never seen again. C’est la vie.

Rated W for Wholesome.

.

For Your Love - *complete

When Jung Yohan realizes that his upperclassman Moogyeong has feelings for another guy, he makes it his mission to get the pair together. Yohan thinks unrequited love is for idiots, but joke’s on him, because he’s the biggest idiot of them all. Yohan is easily the best thing about this manhwa. He has the greatest facial expressions.

We don’t have a side pairing...yet. I’m not counting the hetero pairing because zero time was spent setting up that relationship (they’re cute though). But if they’re going in the direction that was kinda sorta hinted at a while back with Yohan’s friend, I give it an F.**

**Update: Yohan’s friend got a spinoff.

.

Someone Else’s BL Manhwa - complete

Loner by day and cross-dresser by night, Kim Seunghee has managed to keep his double life a secret, until he’s caught in drag after a bad date by class president Park Seungtaek and class trouble maker Lee Kyubin. I’m not even gonna spoil who the pairings are, because it’s not immediately apparent. It seems like the main character is kind of polarizing (he’s a bit standoffish), but I personally love Seunghee. I also love Lee Kyubin and Park Inbeom, two characters who seem like assholes at first, but grow more lovable the more you get to know them. They’re still assholes, but they’re lovable assholes.

There is a HUGE portion of the comic dedicated to the side pairing (it really is someone else’s bl) but both the main and side pairings are cute as hell. Based on the comments I've seen, I think most people like the side pairing better than the main, but I like the main couple’s arch a little bit better.

This was one of the first BL comics that I read, so there's a nostalgia factor there for me. I honestly love it too much to be objective about it. Do I love it because it's good or is it good because I love it?

.

Tamen De Gushi - ongoing

It’s the GL counterpart to 19 Days, but with less organized crime and the romance progresses faster. 

When Sun Jing sees Qiu Tong at the train station, it’s love at first sight. Cuteness ensues. It’s a really simple premise, but with such a fun cast of characters that it’s enjoyable even when nothing is happening. Qiu Tong is sweet, and Sun Jing’s sweetness extends only as far as Qiu Tong.

Sun Jing’s dynamic with her best bro/wingman is one of the highlights of the comic.

.

Roommates - complete

Kisub just needs to crash on Jinwoo’s couch for a few days, or months, or forever. Which is a problem, because Jinwoo has secret feelings for Kisub, and they’re bound to come out eventually.

Roommates is just too funny. The art style and story are pretty simple, but it has a lot of funny little details that make it relatable. Jinwoo is affected by the tiniest things that Kisub does, like putting a medication patch on his neck. Oh if he were an icy hot patch against that neck...

The main couple is cute as hell. I’m kind of neutral about the side pairing, but I do really like Jinwoo’s friend who makes up half of the couple. His name changes depending on what translation you read, which confused the heck out of me.

There's also a Roommates 2, which is not a direct sequel and none of the characters are roommates.

.

19 Days - ongoing

Shut up, you don’t need me to tell you about 19 Days.

Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi were best friends all through middle school, but right after the start of high school, Jian Yi disappeared. Years later, he returns out of the blue.

Is the set up for the story.

But it’s not really about that. At least not yet. The comic so far has mainly followed them through their middle school days, being funny and cute. Jian Yi has no eyebrows, but Xi has enough for both of them and that’s how you know it’s destiny.

I love the main pairing. The side pairing is. Popular. You don’t need to know my feelings about it. I like Mo. Moving along.

.

On or Off - ongoing

If you haven’t noticed, I tend to go for the more wholesome romances over the smutty ones. I usually find the sex to be gratuitous and feel like it only slows down the plot, if there IS a plot. That being said, this is my favorite webcomic that I’m currently reading.

Based on the synopsis, I shouldn’t even like On or Off. It checks off a lot of items on my list of tropes that immediately turn me off of a story. Starting with the comic opening right off the bat with a quid-pro-quo arrangement in a motel room.

Yiyoung and his friends - a bunch of brilliant but antisocial women - start an app company together, and Yiyoung is the dumb, pretty face of the group. But when they try to sell their app to a major corporation, he flubs the presentation. Now he has to come up with a new way to get director Kang to consider their app.

So the main reason I love this comic is Yiyoung. I would die for Yiyoung. I didn’t like Kang at first, and then I liked him, and now I’m starting to not like him again. But that’s not important. What’s important is that this story had me hooked from the beginning. It had me up all night. It had me spending my hard-earned Tappytoon points to read the chapters as they were released.

.

Here are some honorable mentions. These are stories that aren’t far enough along yet to call favorites, but I feel like they will be.

Soulmate - *complete

GL. 27-year-old Yu Qi has been dating Yuan Zi since college. When she wakes up one morning ten years in the past, in her 17-year-old body, she decides to use it as an opportunity to meet Yuan Zi sooner. She has her reasons. Meanwhile, 17-year old Yu Qi wakes up in her present-day body and doesn’t know Yuan Zi.

*Update: It’s completed. Super cute. Must read.

Mr 100% Perfect

This is another smutty one. Woo-in breaks up with his too-perfect boyfriend, Suk-yun. After getting a job with a cleaning service, his first client turns out to be his ex, who it turns out is not so perfect after all.

Badluck

Sort of GL and BL, but mostly just hilarious. On her 17th birthday, An finds out she has the power to curse anyone she touches, a power inherited from her father, who’s cursed her to be single until she’s 40. Unfortunately this one was dropped because of something to do with Vietnamese copyright laws, so I don’t think we’ll ever get the full comic in English.

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

THE PARENTHOOD INTERVIEW: Florence.

In all of these interviews, I’m obviously going to have to make things up about other people’s characters! Don’t take it too seriously if you feel like it’s not accurate, just how I picture things being :) 

10 QUESTIONS NOT LINKED TO YOUR KID(S).

what is your current career now? “I’m currently a teacher at a dance school. I mainly teach ballet at the moment, but I’ve started moving in to more commercial and contemporary styles. Eventually, I’m hoping to open my own school, but life is hectic and always throwing new things our way, so we’ll see!”

are you enjoying it? “I love being a teacher, especially when I get to teacher the mini-classes. They’re about four and it’s been such a long time since I’ve had children that age around; I miss it!” 

where do you currently live? “We currently live in the Springs, it was just convenient because that’s where the three of them went to school but we do make an effort to visit Italy a lot. That’s where Dom’s family are from, firstly, and it’s just always had significance.” 

are you married? “Since I was 18! Younger than Daisy!”

what is one thing that’s stayed the same with you since st judes? “My connection with my family. I’m still really close to them all, especially Disney, Florence and Park.” 

what’s the biggest change you’ve experienced? “I think I’ve become smarter. I hope? Helping with impossible maths homework for years changes a person. I now know all seven continents. Proud of me yet?” 

now that you’re older and have had a successful career, what’s your biggest goal in life? “To make sure I’m present for my family, especially my children. I never want them to look back on their lives and think; well, where was my mother? It’s the reason I gave up work once Carter was born, too. I’ve never missed a sports game, a school show, a birthday, a parent’s evening...It’s not how everybody chooses to live, but it’s important to me that my children know that they can fall back on to me if they need to.”

would you still consider yourself famous? “Only by association, and that’s fine by me.” 

what was the first thing you did after your graduation? “I went on tour, would you believe! I choreographed for Ruby’s tour, who was signed to my Dad’s label at the time.” 

do you have any regrets about your time in st judes? “Not speaking my mind more often. I feel like there was an awful pressure on girl’s too be sweet and not come across as a bitch, which meant people could say what they liked and you’d have to grin and bear it if you wanted to be seen a certain way. I wish I stuck up for Dom more, and myself.”

QUESTIONS ABOUT PARENTHOOD.

who are your children? list them in age order. “Carter, Peter and Daisy. My babies.” 

if you gave birth, who was the easiest pregnancy? if you didn’t, which pregnancy did you feel most anxious about. “Carter was the easiest pregnancy. It was the first, so I didn’t know what to expect and probably took it for granted at the time, but I had no morning sickness. I got up every morning and went to this mother-to-be yoga class and had a ton of energy. I feel like I had the glow everyone speaks of? Being pregnant with Peter wasn’t the worse. I think it was more that I was pregnant and still had Carter to care for, so I was tired. Daisy’s birth definitely had the most complications and she was early. We knew from early on that things weren’t ‘normal’, so I guess that was the one with the most anxiety.” 

did you have any baby showers or gender reveals? if yes, what did you do? “I can’t remember if I did gender reveals! I don’t think I did, honestly. I did have baby showers, though. It wasn’t anything major. Just gatherings with close friends and family. It was cute when Peter and Daisy were born because Carter was more involved in the pictures and stuff, and then of course Peter too during Daisy’s one.”

what kind of parent would your children describe you as, do you think? “God, I don’t think I want to know! I think if we’re being honest, they’d say I’m almost overbearing and they’d be right. I wouldn’t be offended. I just like knowing they’re okay...” 

which stage was hardest: baby, toddler, child, teenager or young adult? “For Daisy, toddler-slash-child. She wasn’t very well and that was hard on all of us. I think Peter was the trickiest teenager...and for Carter, probably young adult, honestly! He’s coming into his own and it’s harder to get him to open up to me because, you know, he’s an adult! They’re all amazing though, so don’t think for a second any of that means they’ve caused me massive stress in any way.”

what has been your favourite memory with each child? “There are so many! One of my favourites that involves them all was the first year we went skiing with their cousins. Seeing the boys help Daisy out with the skiis...and then also ambush her with snowballs until she got stroppy and ran to Dom, was fun. Seeing them all get along like that never gets old and makes it all worth it.”

be honest, do you think you’ve had any failings as a parent? “Definitely. I constantly blame myself for Daisy being sick when she was little. I’ll forever wonder if I could’ve done anything differently while pregnant or if I did anything to contribute. For both of the boys, I sometimes worry that I didn’t sit with them enough when they were younger and help them talk things through. They’re both such ‘get on with it’ types of people and it’s admirable but I just wish I gave them more opportunities to vocalise their feelings. It gets harder the older they get.” 

what do you think you do well as a parent? “I hope it’s being present! Again, that’s something that’s really important to me. If they all know that there’s no such thing as a mistake too big or a problem too bad to bring to me, then I’ve done my job. I don’t want any of them to ever think they have to suffer in silence about things in fear of being told off or yelled at.”

how much involvement do your own parents have in your child’s life? “Quite a bit! My parents used to take them on holiday a lot over the summer along with their cousins.” 

as a parent, what is something you’re still learning? “That they grow up and they’re entitled to have thoughts and feelings they don’t share. I think I always have the urge to fix everything for them when in reality, they’re at the age where they’re figuring things out alone which is just as important.” 

what’s the funniest memory from parenthood so far? “Carter takes this one. We were on a plane going to, somewhere. Daisy must have been tiny. Anyway, Peter was sat with Dom and Carter sat with me - Daisy on my lap with the baby seatbelt on...and suddenly, he just became overly excited. I’ve never seen him so happy. When I finally got his attention, he was like “Mummy, Santa’s on the plane!” and wouldn’t stop. Well, we looked down the aisle to see a person in a dress...A woman, mind you...And she had long white hair, which to be fair to a little child could have been seen as a beard. Anyway, after the embarrassment and a journey of death glares from her, it’s definitely one of my favourite things he’s done.” 

when do you feel like you were needed the most? “Now! Life gets harder as you get older. But, I need to learn when they need me to back off too...I’ll get there.”

JUST FOR FUN, WHICH CHILD… if you have just one child, you can just say if they’d do the stuff or not.

which child is the most sensible? “Carter and Peter are two different types of sensible and they’re both important qualities, so I’m going to say those two. Sorry, Dais.” 

which child is the most independent? “Peter. He always has been, too.” 

which child did you always have suspicions about being famous one day? “They’re all so talented, typical Mum comment! Maybe Daisy, though. She’d stand in front of the boys while they were playing their video games and belt out Frozen. If that’s not star quality...and bravery, then I don’t know.” 

which child was the hardest work as a child? “Daisy, only because of the complications with her health.” 

which child have you cried/stressed over the most? “Daisy or Peter. It’s too close to call.” 

which child has the tidiest room? “Carter. That’s the easiest one so far.” 

which child do you think likes you the most? “I hope they all like me! I feel like Carter’s the one who’ll still pity me and laugh at my jokes or has the patience to show me how to set up crap on the computer too. So, we’ll say him. I know the other two love me too, but I tend to get a few more eye rolls!” 

which child is most likely to forget your birthday? “Daisy! She’s been spoilt. The boys have always been nice enough to put her name on cards and organise it for her. Perks of being the youngest? I remember my siblings doing it for me too.” 

which child is/was the most academic? “Carter, I think.” 

which child is/was the most athletic? “Peter.” 

which child tends to be the most annoying? “They all give it a good go, believe me. I think Daisy’s the most unintentionally annoying and again, it’s because we all spoil her. She went through a stage where she would not leave Peter alone and if the poor kid tried to do something by himself, she’d have a full blown tantrum. It got to the point where I had to start giving her time outs! If we’re talking about being intentionally annoying, then the whole family will agree on Peter. If he’s in that mood, he knows exactly how to wind you up...which is funny unless you’re the target!” 

which child asks for money the most? “Daisy, but from Dom. That’s his problem to deal with!” 

which child is most likely to move in back home? “Deep down, I don’t think any of them will and as much as it pains me, it also makes me really proud. I feel like it means we’ve given them everything they need for the next chapter.” 

which child helps out around the house the most? “Either of the boys. Are you noticing a pattern?” 

which child enjoyed disney the most growing up? “That’d be Daisy.”

BEING AN ACADEMY PARENT.

did you have a say in the academy(s) your child(ren) picked? “I didn’t! They all made their own decisions and I deliberately didn’t comment because I wanted them to have that.” 

how did you feel when your child decided they wanted to go to an academy? “I felt hopeful! I know it can be intense but they all have what it takes and I’m so proud every single day.” 

do any of your children study the same as what you did? are they less, equally or more successful than what you were? “Daisy studies dance and she’s miles ahead of where I was at her age. She’s a star.” 

when your child(ren) were younger, what did you THINK they’d end up working as? “That’s a good question! I always thought Carter would maybe do something like, helpful? He’s quite social and so caring. I always saw him as maybe a firefighter or teacher, y’know? With Peter, it was obvious from when he was tiny that he wouldn’t be sat behind a desk or doing anything office-like. I did always have a feeling it’d be sports related, or something that lets him travel...Maybe with my brother out in the canary islands. I don’t know! Daisy was in dance from when she was tiny, so I always had the feeling she’d do dance...”

have you met any of your child’s friends or partners? “I’ve met Callie once, I think? And Aurora a few times, yes. Beautiful girls. I won’t say too much or I’ll get texts from my boys saying I’ve embarrassed them.” 

what’s your biggest worry about your children being in an academy? “Their mental health. I don’t think anything can prepare you for people suddenly being so interested in your life and wanting a piece of you all of the time.” 

what’s the one piece of advice you’d give your child as they start this journey that you wished you had? “That it’s okay to slip off of the radar, you’re allowed to decline that invite to the exclusive party everybody is buzzing about and if you decide it isn’t for you, you’re allowed to leave. If it’s not your thing, there’s a whole world out there and your thing is in it. I just hope they always see the big picture and don’t feel like they’re stuck if they’re unhappy.” 

MEMORY LANE.

what tv programmes/films were on repeat as your children were growing up? “Paw Patrol when the boys were younger...Power Rangers was a thing at one stage. Daisy had a frightening obsession with Dora the Explorer. We’ve done it all!” 

have you ever lost your child/had something happen that’s made you panic? “Holy shhh. Yes. I used to take all of the kids out a lot during holiday’s and stuff because like, Brody and Disney both worked. Park worked. Imogen worked. Even though they have their own businesses, it’s still work. I was unemployed from when Carter was born right up until when Daisy graduated, so I liked to get them all out and away from their parents for a bit. Anyway! I took them swimming one summer - all of them! - Jay, Daisy, Dixie, Fleur, Pippa, Peter, Carter, Emmett...I turned my back for one second to let one of the younger ones - maybe Pippa - into the pool, when I turned back Peter and Dixie had gone. We searched the changing rooms, the toilets, the sauna. I was on the brink of tears. Anyway, they were hiding under the slide in the main pool which we never went in because it was too deep for any of them at that point. Needless to say, we never went swimming again. It was play dates in our garden pool instead.” 

what was the first holiday you went on as a whole family? “Italy, I believe!”  

can you remember a time you’ve ever been called to the principals office? “I don’t remember the first time but, let’s just say the principal and I were on a first name basis.”

say one thing about your child that you think they’d like to hear, but wouldn’t expect you to say. “...Let’s see. For Daisy, I think it’d be that she’s so much more than pretty. She’s been complimented on her looks since she was little - including by me, I’m guilty! And it’s because she’s beautiful! But, I hope she knows we all see how smart and generous she is too. And funny, there’s so much more to her and we value it. For Peter, definitely that we’re proud of him. Out of the three of them, he’s hardest on himself and holds himself to a painfully high standard but he’s constantly surpassing any expectations I’ve ever have. He amazes me everytime I hear from him and I just want him to remember to be kind to himself. He’s so much more than he gives himself credit for. And, with Carter, it’s similar but not quite. It’s more that he’s perfect just as he is. I think he grew up as the sensible, and possibly softer sibling. Daisy and Peter are louder by nature and from my experience, I know it’s hard to not feel like you’re forgettable or have faded into the background if you’re not as bold with your personality. But, I can put my hand on my heart and say I couldn’t imagine a better older brother - he’s kind, thoughtful, intelligent...He’s been a great example to them and so selfless. He’s had to endure and put up with so much growing up and not once has he complained, or felt sorry for himself. He’s a blessing and I just hope he knows that he doesn’t need to be more like anyone else to make me proud of him. I love them all!” 

[rigelmejo]

Reflection on Japanese Progress (so far)

I wanted to make something more coherent on my thoughts on how my japanese progress has gone lately, because in some ways its better than I expected. I think part of it has to do with better study methods being used right now compared to the first time I studied japanese, but another large part of it I think is my experience with chinese affecting my japanese. 

Prior Japanese Progress (2.5 years)

When I first studied Japanese seriously I took 1 college class, then continued to self study. Generally 30 minutes to 1 hour per day, some weeks/months no study, sometimes more study. I studied like this for 2 years. Then the final portion, year 2 - 2.5, I immersed and studied more like 2 hours per day and that’s when I saw the fastest progress as far as milestones. 

The reasons my progress went so slow up until year 2 are pretty clear to me. I had very little study time per day and japanese simply takes a lot more hours to hit milestones than french. The other thing slowing me down is that japanese has few cognates with english (compared to french). 

When I read The Word Brain recently, it said for languages similar each other (like english/french) you need to learn around 5000 new words, and for less similar languages like chinese and japanese you need to learn 15,000. So for Japanese I needed to learn more words before I could hit the same milestones of “read a comic ok with a dictionary” or “read a comic comfortably without a dictionary” or “read the news with only occasional word lookups” etc. French having more cognates and similarities benefited me quickly - I could start reading comfortable with occassional dictionary look up (and follow the overall main idea fine) after learning ~500 words. For Japanese, I was expecting the same kind of results from a few hundred words when that wasn’t realistic. 

I also remember I held myself back a lot with Japanese - I didn’t want to learn more words until I’d learned 1000+ kanji lol. Guess who never did. The closest I got was I borrowed a Tuttle book from the library and learned the meanings of 300 kanji. I tried Heisig’s RTK book and barely learned any, I never got past a couple hundred. I tried KKLC and my tendency to “over memorize until I’m perfect” meant I also never got past a couple hundred. In 2 years, I knew a few hundred words and a few hundred kanji, and it was not nearly enough to hit the same milestone I’d hit in French in 6 months with 500 words. 

I didn’t make progress until year 2 in studying japanese, when I started Nukemarine’s Memrise LLJ decks and got through around 500 kanji, 500 other words, and a few hundred example sentences. It’s not surprising in retrospect that its at that point when I saw the same milestone I hit in french 5 months in. I finally had ~1500 ish words I knew from various resources. 3 times as many words as I knew in french when I could hit the same milestone (very basic reading skills with a dictionary of overall main idea). 

At year 2 I made another major change that helped a lot - I started immersing. Before that, I’d “assumed” japanese would be too hard until I “learned more kanji, more words” and basically refused to challenge myself. But I learn best by doing. I remember best by doing things that make what I’m learning necessary to know. So immersion helped a LOT, it made remembering kanji much easier because I constantly needed them, it made picking up words easier too because I had reasons to know them. 

I also started using more audio materials. It wasn’t a significant part of my study, but I remember I’d started using JapaneseAudioLessons.com’s lessons. I did 20 of them during that time period. What was useful, is I was practicing listening (which I later learned in Chinese really helps me specifically remember things better), and I had found a study method I could do when walking or doing other things. I’m very bad at sticking to flashcards or apps, which is why I always burn out on srs flashcard courses after a few weeks to a month. But just listening to files? If I manage to remember to, I don’t get burned out as easy, and its a good way for me to review and do new study regularly when I can’t carve out the time to sit down. Also again - in retrospect I think listening helps me learn a LOT better, which is something I didn’t really realize about myself until studying chinese later. But I think the regular audio exposure of japanese from year 2 - 2.5 helped a lot. Just like when I started japanese, my beginner college class made us listen to dialogues and shadow them constantly - which really helped.

So in retrospect, year 2 to 2.5 I made the quickest progress in japanese because I started prioritizing learning a LOT of words over learning them ‘perfect,’ and I got willing to just challenge myself and actually use the language regularly by trying to read manga and play a video game. I also realized at that time, that japanese was going to need more hours of study on a regular basis if I wanted a faster progress rate.

After 2.5 years, I stopped studying japanese. Because I was going to school full time, working 50 hours a week, and I knew I had no time for it. 

During the study gap (2+ years)

I only engaged in japanese a little bit during the break where I no longer actively studied it. Every few months I’d try to read a manga - either one of mine or ones I found in thrift stores. I think I was hoping that like my french, reading once in a while would maintain it. But I knew a lot more french before I went down to not studying and only reading occasionally. So I did lose a lot of japanese. 

I stopped remembering some verb endings, although in the middle of reading I could still recall a lot of them in context okay and understand what they meant. I forgot some particles - which again came back ok while I was reading. Word order I somewhat forgot. Hiragana-only words I FORGOT the most. Kanji for the most part I managed to keep remembering, so I suppose reading helped me keep remembering them. I am not sure if this occasional reading helped me review japanese year quicker and get back to progressing from where I left off. 

The most noticeable thing was when I started learning Chinese, about 1 year after stopping Japanese. When I started learning chinese, some of the hanzi I learned ended up making manga more comprehensible to me. I remember maybe 6 months into chinese study, japanese manga (especially easy ones like School Rumble, Ranma 1/2, fan comics) had started to get understandable enough that I could sometimes follow chapter main overall ideas without a dictionary. So not the specific details - although sometimes I could pick up a few. But I didn’t need a dictionary to follow the main idea with simple manga anymore. Whereas at 2.5 years into study, I could follow the main overall idea of some simple manga chapters with a dictionary - that was the extent of my reading comprehension. So this was a significant improvement, a milestone I noticed. I know chinese hanzi study was indirectly benefiting my japanese reading skill a little bit. 

In retrospect, I think it was giving me more ‘near cognates’ to rely on when reading. Since I didn’t know the new japanese words, but knowing the meaning if it were a hanzi gave me an idea of what to Guess the word might mean in the context of a manga chapter I was reading. Which helped a lot compared to having no information at all to rely on to figure out new words. With french, so much having latin and english similarity gave me a lot more tools when I was trying to figure out new words in context. So I think hanzi knowledge in the same kind of way was giving me more information, more related meanings, to pull from and make guesses. For me, that kind of information helps a lot when I study. its how I learned a lot of words in english - I’d relate them to english words I already knew, that they seemed similar to or written with something in common etc. So I could finally start relying on the same strategies I am more used to using for vocabulary figuring-out in japanese.

Current Japanese Progress (picking it up after a couple years gap)

I started trying to study japanese again I think in March or April 2021 - the exact month’s on this blog somewhere. So that’s 4 months as of now that I’ve studied japanese again. It took about 1 month to review the information I already knew - I just reread the beginning portion of Tae Kim’s grammar guide, and did the old lessons I’d done before in Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks. 

At the very start of review, I just reread the intro of Japanese in 30 Hours (which I’ve read before), and listened to the first 15 lessons in japanese pimsleur. This was all audio or romaji so I didn’t confuse it with chinese. And it reminded me of the particles and general basic grammar. This mainly-audio portion of review was easy to just do while I was walking or playing video games. 

After that, I went and reviewed old words and specific grammar using Tae Kim and Nukemarine’s memrise decks (which had text). 

Then I was doing new stuff.

I had a goal to play a video game within a few months of restarting japanese - I met that goal about a month after reviewing. So May I think? I wrote down the exact month in previous blog posts. 

It was easier than during my initial study at 2.5 years. It was still intense and draining though lol. However, I realized I didn’t actually need a dictionary to follow any main ideas. The biggest issue was either taking a long time to read for detail directions (very draining mentally), or trying to speed read for key info so I could get to a save point faster (draining mentally because I have less info and time to comprehend the info I’m reading). Anyway, not needing any dictionary for following the main overall ideas was a HUGE difference from my last japanese comprehension milestone at 2.5 years into study.

I am pretty sure its hanzi recognition that really boosted my reading comprehension in japanese. I know around ~1500-2000 hanzi in chinese right now, and a decent amount more I can comprehend pretty well if they’re in compound hanzi words (so context clues to figure out which word the ‘unknown’ hanzi is making the new compound word) since I read in chinese a lot. So in japanese, many of the most common kanji are similar to hanzi I’ve already learned well, and a lot of the compound kanji words are also pretty easy to guess a meaning for. And when the kanji doesn’t mean the same thing as the hanzi would, the prior context I have for these video games such as setting (and some knowledge of them in english playthroughs) and a similar-hanzi’s usual general meanings, means I can usually guess what the new japanese word might mean. Like japanese uses some kanji for somewhat different meanings than chinese (but a speech radical still means its probably talking related) then I can figure out from the scene how it might be a different speech-related word etc. 

This past month, June 2021, I did two more things that boosted my japanese comprehension.

1. I’m playing a video game now that I know the story of really well. So I know the english lines almost by heart for most scenes, so if I don’t know a word in a sentence or don’t know the grammar pattern going on? I have a much better chance of figuring out what it might be. As a result I’m comprehending nearly all the details and words, nearly all the grammar roughly, so there’s very few portions of the game that I’m running into where I don’t have a good guess about every single part of a sentence or at least nearly everything. It’s Kingdom Hearts 2 I’m playing, and I am not surprised lol to realize I played that game So Much growing up I really do know all the lines by heart once I see them. KH2 is the game I initially played 2 years into studying japanese, and could somehow manage to function playing - probably because I know the game so well. So now? Now of course its the first japanese video game where I can follow nearly every part of it in japanese. It’s? A fun experience?? It’s kind of bizarre to me?

This is my favorite game, THE game when I was little that initially made me want to learn japanese. The game I wanted to play in japanese one day and understand and get to see the differences. It is an odd experience to be actually DOING what I wanted to do since I was 11. Over half of my life I’ve wanted to play this game in japanese! ToT I learned to draw people because of this game! It is absolutely surreal to me to be able to DO it. To be doing it. 

Anyway back to study reflections ToT

2. Katakana english cognates and near cognates are galore in KH2 which makes navigation and playing easier than it could be, and my hanzi knowledge also helps with a lot more ‘near cognates’ I can recognize now compared to when I played 2 years into study. Reading Tae Kim’s grammar guide and Cure Dolly (and @yue-muffin telling me iru gets used like ‘ing’ in verbs like ‘doing’ versus to do) also have made the grammar somewhat easier to parse.

2. Clozemaster has ultimately been helping a lot. Clozemaster is definitely a contributing factor to having made KH2 easier to play for DETAIL understanding. I’ve been reading manga lately - which helped me practice parsing grammar in real life versus in textbooks a bit. Grammar and formality in manga like Yotsuba is informal and has these like slang-mood endings to sentences that I never see in grammar books I’ve read or in Nukemarine’s memrise decks (because they’re made from learner materials). But manga is easy to figure out context now, so I was getting used to grammar used in Reality. 

Clozemaster is actually really good for practicing this too - and like with french or chinese, I think an upper beginner will be able to use it much better than a beginner. It changes formality, it changes how much slang is in a sentence or how polite, at random. Not all the translations are literal. You need a basic comprehension already to use clozemaster sentences somewhat. I did 632 sentences in clozemaster this past week. That was a LOT of practice with actual words regularly used in sentences, in dialogue, in various levels of formality and with words being hiragana or kanji depending on the specific sentence. So when I started KH2 again? Now a lot of endings that seem to convey moods, and words that I struggled with (like ‘a lot’ ‘always’ ‘because of’ ‘from’ ‘until’ ‘but’ ‘kedo’ ‘dakadesu’ ‘dakada’ etc) I am more used to following what they mean in a sentence. I’ve just seen a LOT of examples of them. Clozemaster also highlights verb endings sort of like their own ‘helper verb’ and while I don’t know if its actually grammatically true, it helps conceptualize stuff like verb tenses for me a lot easier. So now I am having an easier time recognizing them attached to verb stems, and recognizing the point the conjugation is getting across. 

The main thing though is its just a lot of very focused practice on recognizing words and grammar in the context of regular sentences instead of learner material. Learner material tends to show one aspect at a time, not mix lots of things together since its giving examples, etc. Clozemaster does mix up the examples a lot - but while still generally having an easier ‘difficulty curve’ than an actual web novel or visual novel etc. Clozemaster will have a lot going on in a sentence but it will all be very common basic stuff where at most half is new stuff, and eventually only 1 is a new thing. Whereas if I just dived into regular materials it could be a bunch of “I know very little” sentences. Manga is good practice for this too - its just you see less text per minute in manga. In Clozemaster you see a lot of text and its generally at my reading level so it feels ‘graded’ but less learner-material perfected, which in this case makes it good for getting used to the variety. I think overall THAT is how Clozemaster is helping right now. Its also helping because of common words - but a lot of what I’ve seen so far has been review too, so I think its the exposure to different sentences and odd things in them that’s been most helpful in translating to making video games feel a bit easier.

I’ve been doing the “most common” word tracks in Clozemaster’s japanese lessons, and I think they’re more useful to me immediately than the JLPT track. The fast track is kind of useful, but it doesn’t expose me to as many sentences to really drill aspects. I took someone’s advice and have been doing listening mode, so I listen then listen a few times and identify words THEN read it and answer the cloze. They also said to do the full ‘most common words’ tracks, and so far that advice has been good. The JLPT track is good too - and matches up more with words I had to learn in my other lessons and textbooks, combined with more complex sentences with more stuff going on in them at once than some learner materials. But since I’m trying to study to understand japanese games, not take the JLPT, I think right now that track less useful to me. In the Common Words track I immediately learned a lot of ‘filler’ words that imply meanings and are important but weren’t in my textbooks, even though I hear them constantly when watching things or playing games. So because of that, right now I’m sticking to the common words track. 

Summary: using kingdom hearts 2 is a good immersion material right now since I know the context well, it feels almost ‘graded’ for me since I can comprehend it much easier than other things I know less well (like Crisis Core which I love but requires much more focus and is more mentally draining since I have to re-figure out the initial context of scenes before i can focus on what the specific words mean). And using audio materials, clozemaster, has helped. Also just... I was wondering why lately handling japanese stuff has been easier (compared to previously for me) and I think a huge part of it is that for me hanzi knowledge really helped give me more near-cognates from kanji i can rely on now. Which makes japanese seem much less opaque as far as me trying to use context clues to understand things and learn new words. And since I prefer to learn by DOING, its valuable to me that now I have enough surrounding context and context-hints from kanji to start learning by guessing words in context a bit more. Also, in KH2′s case a huge benefit is the large amount of katakana words that I know what they’re meant to be in english, which are pretty much cognates, and both recognizing kanji a bit and also knowing the rough-english they Should be corresponding to (if its different than the chinese hanzi meaning). 

I’m going to keep playing KH2 lets see if its the first Game I can finish in Japanese (which it may well be lol). Also I just... genuinely think that for myself, among the other things I learned about How I personally learn through the years of trying to learn this, I think for me learning some chinese first really helped. 

I know books I used to have used to encourage me to learn kanji first, but that always just ended up holding me back from studying more because I just could Not handle a kanji with no sound attached solidly in my mind. And then when I did brute force just study words anyway, it helped, but I still had a much fuzzier way of handling and relating to kanji. And in general just was learning them from nothing as a prior basis.

With chinese, just one sound matched to most hanzi really like clicks with how I remember? And when there are pronunciation changes in my brain it just clicks a lot more like how english word-parts change pronunciation depending on the word - it makes a kind of pattern sense to me I guess? And the logic of sound+meaning for most hanzi formations means I finally get why certain radicals are in things - because it got simplified, or used to hint at sound, since they don’t All have all radicals relating to meaning only. Whereas when I studied kanji prior all the books would try to get me to associate all the radicals with meaning (but sometimes if a radical in hanzi come from a sound they don’t have to do with the meaning). And I guess it was just so much harder for me to stick the information solidly in my brain.

Now? Now I’m finding putting kanji pronunciations to different words is making a bit more sense to me. Like I already have a base to attach it to, so its less hard to add “this extra pronunciation for japanese word X” rather than just “this ONE pronunciation for this BRAND NEW kanji+hiragana word!” Because attaching an extra pronunciation to something I Already know? Is not too hard - I did it in english word-parts for my whole life, I did it with hanzi occasionally in chinese. So now attaching sounds to kanji feels more like something I’m used to doing and know how to do - instead of learning lots of new stuff with no idea how to mash it together and remember it. 

Also now the ‘chinese like’ pronunciations for some words stick out to me much clearer in japanese, since I can tell when the pronunciation is similar to a hanzi in chinese versus not. Which makes those words much easier to remember, those pronunciations easier to remember, and it much easier for my brain to distinguish between ‘when to use this pronunciation versus another for this kanji.’ Also just grammar of course, knowing how the pronunciation changes in different forms also helps make it easier to think ‘ok this might be why the kanji sound changed when this verb is in a new conjugation.’   

I just. If I would have told myself over 2 years ago that 1. I’d even learn some chinese, and 2. it would help my japanese this much (to a noticeable amount) I would have been really ???

Another thing I think helped is a Decent Solid sound base in chinese - I generally have a sound associated to all hanzi already that I know so I do not ‘confuse’ them with japanese words. Which would definitely happen if my listening wasn’t as solid. I worked on chinese listening a lot the past few months and it helped a LOT with keeping the languages as very distinctly different so I don’t mix up kanji/hanzi (also the fact kanji don’t have tones the same way helps me separate the sound when I hear so I don’t mix up what I’m listening to, which if me listening wasn’t as practiced I think mixing up would happen more - tones really help me clearly keep my brain from even thinking I’m hearing chinese when I see a kanji and hear pronunciation).

[penabrams]

𝙿𝙴𝙽𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙿𝙴  𝙰𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙼𝚂  𝟸 . 𝟶 . . .  hey  ,  my  wonderful  friends  (  from  one  of  the  best  rps  i  have  been  a  part  of  in  a  while  )  .  i  have  decided  there’s  going  to  be  a  few  changes  to  penelope  ,  nothing  drastic  but  just  in  correlation  to  her  backstory  and  bio  . she’s  still  the  same  penelope  at  the  core  of  all  things  .  please  give  this  a  like  ,  we’ve  most  likely  plotted  but  if  we  haven’t  shoot  me  a  message  . also  i  can’t  believe  i  forgot  but  her  fc  is  changed  to  miss  kristine  froseth  ,  she  radiates  the  quirky  nerd  preschool  teacher  energy  i  needed  and  fits  penelope  a  add  better  !!

BIO  /  INFO  (  TW  :  DEATH  ,  LOSS  OF  A  PARENT  ,  CAR  CRASH  )  :

penelope  was  the  product  of  two  high  school  sweethearts  ,  who  didn’t  plan  on  having  kids  as  early  as  they  did  .  soon  later  ,  her  mother  and  father  got  married  ,  a  shotgun  wedding  in  which  she  was  mainly  the  reason  for  .  her  parents  were  still  kids  themselves  ,  feeling  a  great  deal  of  pressure  from  their  own  parents  to  get  married  and  ‘ buck  up ’  .  penelope  was  born  in  mapleview  ,  her  parents  have  their  own  reputation  around  mapleview  as  ‘ that  couple  from  my  year  who  had  their  baby  while  they  were  still  in  school ’  .  at  first  they  tried  to  make  it  work  raising  penelope  in  mapleview  with  both  parents  under  the  same  roof  but  it  wasn’t  working  as  well  as  they  liked  .  her  mother  and  father  loved  her  so  much  ,  they  both  wanted  the  best  for  her  and  decided  as  much  as  they  wanted  to  raise  her  under  a  two  parent  house  -  it  wasn’t  worth  this  .  this  meaning  the  constant  fighting  ,  not  having  enough  time  for  penelope  and  their  relationship  -  one  of  them  had  to  pay  the  price  and  they  let  it  be  their  relationship  . 

they  got  a  divorce  .  it  was  really  bad  before  the  divorce  but  after  both  of  them  felt  a  sort  of  weight  off   their  shoulders  like  they  could  be  their  own  person  again  .  they  still  cared  for  each  other  ,  wanting  nothing  but  the  best  even  if  it  wasn’t  each  other  .  when  penelope  was  five  ,  her  mother  decided  to  move  all  the  way  across  the  country  bringing  penelope  with  her  .  her  father  tried  to  fight  it  but  honestly  ,  this  way  he  could  build  his  career  more  .  he  loved  penelope  but  was  a  career  driven  man  at  heart  .  penelope  doesn’t  have  much  memories  from  mapleview  her  first  time  around  .  her  earliest  memory  is  her  fourth  birthday  with  both  of  her  parents  .  

life  in  california  was  extremely  different  from  her  short  lived  life  in  mapleview  ,  california  was  fast  paced  but  penelope’s  mother  loved  it  .  she  loved  the  smaller  things  in  life  like  giving  money  to  a  musician  on  the  street  ,  eating  peanut  butter  out  of  the  jar  ,  shopping  trips  with  penelope  ,  staying  up  til  one  am  on  a  school  night  just  to  dance  and  sing  to  some  music  .  she  was  amazing  .  she  worked  at  a  florist  shop  on  the  corner  of  their  street  ,  she  was  magical  and  sometimes  penelope  feels  her  mother  around  her  .

when  penelope  was  fifteen  ,  her  mother  passed  away  in  a  car  crash  while  she  was  at  school  .  she  remembers  the  principal  and  guidance  counselor  telling  her  what  happened  .  instant  panic  crept  in  because  her  mother  was  all  she  had  here  in  california  ,  what  would  she  do  ??  what  was  going  to  happen  ??  her  dad  came  to  california  as  soon  as  he  heard  ,  the  pair  had  shared  custody  this  meant  that  he  was  now  her  full  guardian  .  he  now  had  a  teenage  grieving  daughter  to  bring  home  with  him  .  he  helped  her  pack  the  things  in  her  house  and  let  her  bring  whatever  she  wanted  and  she  kept  a  lot  of  her  mothers  things  ,  her  distinctive  perfume  and  that  fluffy  christmas  sweater  they  always  laughed  about  .  her  locket  ,  her  pearls  ,  pictures  of  them  .  then  she  left  for  mapleview  .

her  relationship  with  her  father  is  actually  pretty  good  .  she  is  his  only  child  ,  he  spoiled  her  every  birthday  sending  a  card  filled  with  money  .  they’d  talk  multiple  times  a  week  on  the  phone  until  it  turned  into  texting  all  the  time  .  throughout  those  fifteen  years  ,  her  father  had  visited  her  multiple  times  until  she  turned  ten  then  she  was  able  to  make  the  long  plane  ride  from  california  to  north  carolina  .  once  she  got  to  spend  an  entire  summer  with  him  in  mapleview  ,  they  all  together  have  a  pretty  good  relationship  . pancakes  on  sunday  ,  sending  embarrassing  selfies  while  she’s  at  work  ,  walks  in  the  park  with  her  dog  and  trips  to  the  city  . 

the  first  few  months  were  hard  ,  she’d  never  felt  this  alone  and  then  three  months  later  she  was  sixteen  and  starting  at  mapleview  high  trying  to  find  her  place  in  this  brand  new  life  .  it  felt  like  someone  else's  life  like  she’d  possessed  someone  and  taken  over  their  life  . she  knew  some  place  around  mapleview  from  her  weeks  spent  when  she  was  younger  but  she  still  didn’t  quite  feel  at  home  .  she  missed  her  mom  every  night  . 

she  didn’t  make  friends  right  away  .  she  struggled  with  that  because  back  in  california  everyone  from  school  knew  her  and  she  was  somewhat  popular  but  here  she  was  the  new  girl  in  a  small  town  .  that  stemmed  a  lot  of  gossip  .  she  didn’t  have  much  to  do  so  she  dove  herself  into  her  school  work  and  penelope’s  always  been  smart  .  it  wasn’t  hard  to  end  up  graduating  as  one  of  the  top  of  her  class  .  in  high  school  ,  she  became  a  tutor  and  she  had  a  few  people  that  she  tutored  but  it  was  the  first  person  she  got  that  she  remembers  still  to  this  day  .  lane  morrison  . 

meeting  a  boy  and  having  a  somewhat  cliche  teenage  romance  wasn’t  originally  what  she  thought  would  happen  when  she  moved  to  mapleview  .  he  couldn’t  be  more  different  than  penelope  and  instead  of  letting  that  scare  her  off  ,  it  intrigued  her  .  she  tutored  him  for  a  few  months  before  he  dropped  out  ,  it  was  at  the  time  crushing  because  the  first  person  she  reached  out  to  help  didn’t  want  it  but  they  kept  up  with  their  sessions  and  the  rest  is  history  .  a  two  bedroom  bungalow  ,  lizard  ,  dog  ,  spider  ,  turtle  ,  lumpy  couch  ,  john  lennon  the  fish  ,  a  van  deemed  the  shag  mobile  laterrrrrr  they’re  still  together  . 

college  wise  ,  penelope  majored  in  elementary  education  before  changing  it  to  early  childhood  and  development  with  a  minor  for  elementary  education  .  she  currently  graduated  last  year  ,  she  works  as  a  preschool  teacher  of  sorts  at  stepping  stones  .  this  is  her  second  year  working  at  the  preschool  and  she  loves  it  .  it’s  everything  she’s  ever  wanted  career  wise  . 

PERSONALITY  /  HEADCANONS  :

her  mother  actually  loved  flowers  .  back  in  california  ,  at  her  old  house  she  and  her  mother  had  a  garden  in  the  back  that  they  grew  and  tended  too  .  penelope  tried  to  get  one  started  after  she  moved  in  with  her  dad  but  it  didn’t  take  at  the  time  .  she  has  little  flowers  and  plants  that  she  keeps  and  waters  .  lilies  were  her  mothers  favorite  flowers  ,  penelope  made  sure  that  they  were  there  at  her  grave  every  time  she  visited  .  

art  .  now  penelope  got  her  love  of  her  love  of  flowers  and  plants  from  her  mother  but  one  thing  that  was  truly  hers  was  her  love  for  drawing  and  painting  .  mainly  painting  but  she  was  good  at  sketching  .  the  beforehand  and  painting  over  it  .  she  has  a  little  corner  in  her  house  where  she  paints  .  most  of  her  paintings  are  of  her  mother  trying  to  remember  every  curve  of  her  face  without  looking  at  pictures  .  some  are  of  california  and  the  places  they  visited  .  some  are  more  personal  .

she  has  a  few  tattoos  ,  mainly  she’s  picky  because  she  draws  her  own  art  and  wants  to  watch  the  tattoo  artist  trace  them  .  they’re  nothing  clashy  because  she  is  a  preschool  teacher  .  they’re  all  small  and  minimal  but  there’s  several  scattered  in  places  she  can  hide  them  with  under  her  clothes  .

penelope  loves  to  cook  .  she  cooked  for  her  mother  most  nights  back  in  california  and  when  she  first  moved  in  with  her  dad  .  for  her  ,  it’s  a  way  to  show  the  people  she  loves  that  she  loves  them  .  

personality  wise  ,  she’s  more  soft  spoken  but  ready  to  speak  out  if  she  feels  she  needs  too  .  she’s  observant  ,  intelligent  ,  honest  and  adventurous  .  part  of  her  wants  to  get  an  RV  and  just  drive  and  go  anywhere  .  she’s  also  forgetful  ,  flight  -  over  fight  ,  clumsy  as  shit  this  girl  gets  a  new  bruise  or  cut  every  day  .  she’s  definitely  got  a  maternal  personality  ,  always  wanting  to  take  career  of  others  and  the  people  she  loves  . 

[betterbe-ravenclaw]

A HPHM character profile - Naomi Kinnley

Naomi has been being developed for a good while now, and I know that my version of events will clash with that of others (over love interest, profession, interests, family etc) so I really hope that won't be a problem. It's taken a long time for me to post this because I'm extremely nervous but hopefully Naomi and I can fit into the community!

(This wonderful profile template is by @hogwartsmysterystory and made introducing Naomi so much easier than it could have been, so thank you!)

Also the artwork is by me. Still practicing humans.

Identity:

Name: Naomi Justine kinnley

Gender: Female

Age: 15 (in game currently, I guess her age technically changes with each scenario as necessary)

Date of Birth: 27th April 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: straight (or heterosexual, they both mean the same thing right?)

Ethnicity: English, Welsh, French

Nationality: English

Residence: The Kinnley Household, #.17 Turley Avenue, Norwich, Norfolk, England

MBPT: ISFP - the adventurer

The Mage:

1st wand: cedar, dragon heartstring core, slightly springy, 11 ½ inches

“...‘you will never fool the cedar carrier,’ and I agree: the cedar wand finds its perfect home where there is perspicacity and perception. I would go further than my father, however, in saying that I have never yet met the owner of a cedar wand whom I would care to cross, especially if harm is done to those of whom they are fond. The witch or wizard who is well-matched with cedar carries the potential to be a frightening adversary, which often comes as a shock to those who have thoughtlessly challenged them”

“As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner.”

2nd wand: willow, phoenix feather core, reasonably supple, 12 ¼ inch

“Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn...”

“This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.”

Animagus: N/A

Misc magical abilities: Apparition and Disapparition

Boggart form: missing a chance to save somebody special to her (usually Rowan, her brother or Murphy) because she was preoccupied with something novel and insignificant. Knowing she should have and could have been there and would have been able to help - but wasn’t. (Shows up as herself with her back to the incident, not noticing when her loved one calls out for help)

Riddikulus form: in being preoccupied with said novel activity, she misses her loved one(s) not being murdered, but instead making silly faces 0r acting clownish behind her back, a bit like in a pantomime.

Amortentia (their smell): home baked bread, a wildflower field, crisp new parchment, baled hay, plums from her grandparents’ orchard and vanilla.

Amortentia (what they smell): mown grass, cinnamon, old books, home baked cookies, polished leather, lavender laundry detergent and the sea.

Patronus: leopardess

Strong

Graceful

Quiet

Independent

Protective

Patronus memory: sitting at the attic window with her brother early on christmas morning as a child, drinking hot chocolate with those tiny muggle marshmallows and munching on their mother’s cookies that they weren't supposed to have until the afternoon. Talking and playing wizards chess, exploding snap and their dad's old Muggle board games, watching the sunrise and being together.

Mirror of erised:

during hogwarts - reliving her patronus memory every christmas as tradition goes. Still having Jacob shake her awake at ridiculous o’clock and take her upstairs to the window where he’d set up their blanket instead of waking up of her own accord and sitting alone until the sunrise.

As an adult - hosting dinner at the house she shares with her husband and children for all her close friends and family. All of them. Those who are gone would be there too for a night of good food and good company where the children would run around playing and Naomi would get a warm feeling of belonging in her heart.

specialized/favourite spell:

Pretego - she never wants anyone she loves to come to harm, especially after rowans passing.

Expecto Patronum - beautiful, peaceful and protective. Useful and stunning all at the same time. A thing of comfort and joy.

Avis - she’s calmed around animals and birds. Just for fun.

Ferula & episkey - similar to protego, to help those who come to harm and keep them from pain as much as possible.

Lumos - simple and useful. It was one of the first things she learnt at Hogwarts and feels nostalgic.

Appearance:

Faceclaim: Willa Holland (just imagine she has freckles.)

Game appearance:

Height: 5’6” (170.7cm)

Weight: 151lbs (68.5kg)

Physique: Slim

Eye colour: hazel, quite green in places

Hair colour: dark brown, looks ginger in the sun, loosely curly

Skin tone: medium, somewhere in between olive and pale.

Body modifications: she has one piercing in each earlobe that she got aged 10. She mainly just wears studs.

Scarring: nothing major, she has a few little scars from mundane accidents like cutting her knee on a rock but that's about it.

Inventory: wand, quill, ink, chapstick, hair ties, a hairbrush, prefect badge, scrap parchment, glasses, glasses case, half finished bag of sherbet lemons, unopened packet of every flavour beans and a leather notebook with unlimited pages for notes on everything

Fashion: Naomi likes to pair denim bottoms (jeans or shorts or sometimes a skirt if she's in the mood) with a t-shirt - she likes the ones with different coloured sleeves and also ones with words on the front. She'll also wear denim jackets and leggings and knitted sweaters and sometimes summer dresses and skirts. She mostly likes comfortable stuff. If it feels good on her body and she's comfortable in it she'll wear it.

Allegiances:

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Affiliations / organisations: the circle of Khanna, the order of the phoenix, the ministry of magic, the department of magical law enforcement - auror division

Professions:

Age 11-18 : Hogwarts student

Age 18-21 : Trainee Auror, part of the ministry of magic's department of magical law enforcement Auror training programme

Age 21-25 : Junior Auror, department of magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 25 - 28 : unemployed, having taken a break from work to focus on the family after the war

Age 28 - 40 : Senior Auror, department of Magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 40 - 46 : Head Auror, department of Magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 46 - 48 : Assistant manager at Cathy's Bakes (her mother in law's bakery)

Age 48 - Retirement : manager at Cathy's Bakes

Hogwarts info:

Class proficiencies:

Astronomy - E

Charms - O

Defence against the dark arts - O

Flying - O

Herbology - A

History of magic - E

Potions - O

Transfiguration - O

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures - O

Arithmancy - E

Divination - A

Quidditch: Chaser from 2nd year onwards

Extra curricular: Quidditch, Dueling Club, prefect

Favourite professors: Flitwick, McGonagall, Kettleburn

Least favourite professors: Binns, Trelawney, Rakepick

Relationships:

Brother: Jacob William Kinnley

born 5th October, 1964

Goes by J

Ravenclaw

About 8 years older than Naomi

Curly brown hair, green eyes, really tall, stubble

Kind-hearted, witty, humorous and strong, though short tempered and more reserved after his disappearance

Was always Naomi's favourite sibling Because he was similar to her and actually had time for her. They were very close growing up, pushing Naomi to try and find him. She wanted that back.

Misc siblings: Cynthia Eleanor Kinnley

Born 16th January 1968

Goes by Cindy

Gryffindor

About 5 years older than Naomi

Straight black hair, hazel eyes, tall, attractive

Outgoing, kind, reckless and charming. She and Naomi fought more and weren't as close as Naomi and Jacob.

Ran off to study magical creatures in Africa after Jacob's disappearance to escape her troubles.

Independent magizoologist, works with a small team on less explored species

Father: Anthony Kinnley

Born 7th March 1942

Muggleborn

Ravenclaw

Curly dark brown hair, green eyes, tall, stubble

Kind-hearted, protective, quiet, calm and stronger than he looks. Was able to keep himself together following Jacobs disappearance, if only for the sake of his wife and daughters.

Works for the ministry of magic, department of international magical cooperation

Mother: Eleanor Kinnley née Campbell

Born 18th May 1942

Pureblood

Hufflepuff

Straight black hair, hazel eyes, short, curvy, beautiful

Used to be jolly, humorous and charming, though is mentally unstable after Jacob disappeared. Depressed and not like she used to be, particularly around holidays.

Currently unemployed, hardly leaves the house. Previously a nurse at St. Mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries

Grandparents: Marigold Kinnley (née West), William Kinnley, Justine Campbell (née Bordeaux), Henry Campbelll (Deceased)

Misc family members: Simon Kinnley (Uncle), Timothy Kinnley (uncle), Flora Kinnley (née Brown, Aunt), Laura Peters (née Kinnley, Aunt), Robert Peters (Uncle), Geraldine Campbell (Great Aunt), Delia Peters (Cousin), Felicity Peters (Cousin), Liam Peters (cousin) , Marcus Kinnley (cousin), Cathleen McNully (Mother-in-law)

Love interest:

Barnaby Lee (Briefly - 4th year)

Attended the celestial ball together

Barnaby broke it off after a few weeks wanting to be just friends

Naomi had much the same feelings

Murphy McNully (Briefly -5th year)

Dated in secret for about a month and a half

Broke it off because they didn't see eye to eye in their relationship.

Ended with an argument

Charlie Weasley (Briefly - 5th year)

Flirted shameless for weeks

Went on about four dates before Naomi realised she didn't feel right with him and stopped the relationship before too much happened

Murphy McNully (5th year onwards - Spouse)

Got back together in undisclosed circumstances after Naomi and Charlie agreed to be just friends

Spent a year doing long distance after Murphy graduated (him being in the year above her)

Moved in together after Naomi graduated

Eventually Married before having five children.

Children:

Marigold Rowan McNully,

born 28th June, 1993

Goes by Goldie

Ravenclaw

Golden child

Lives up to her namesakes dream of becoming hogwarts' youngest ever professor (Transfiguration)

Cathleen Penelope McNully,

born 1st February, 1995

Likes to be called Kitty or Kit

Gryffindor

Bit of a troublemaker

Professional beater and quidditch star before taking over at the bakery for a 3rd generation

Anthony Jacob McNully,

born 2nd December 1998

Has the nickname Tony

Ravenclaw

Bisexual

Qualified healer working with underprivileged wizarding communities

Eleanor Nymphadora McNully,

born 13th August 2002

Everyone calls her Nelly

Hufflepuff

Daddy's girl through and through

Follows in her father's footsteps becoming a professional quidditch commentator

Henry Charles McNully,

born 30th April 2006

Ravenclaw

Bit of a mummy's boy

A surprise baby

An Auror like his mother

Best friends:

Rival: Merula Snyde, Erika Rath

(school) - Rowan Kahnna, Nymphadora Tonks, Tulip Karasu, Charlie Weasley, Skye Parkin, Penny Haywood, Murphy McNully.

Enemy: Patricia Rakepick

Dormmates: Rowan Kahnna, Tulip Karasu, Badeea Ali

Pets:

Toby

Chocolate brown cocker spaniel

Lives at her home with her parents

Miranda

Birman Cat

Accompanies Naomi to Hogwarts

Maurice

Black horse with a balze (white mark on face)

Lives at her grandparents farm

Closest canon friends: Rowan, Penny, Murphy, Skye, Charlie, Tonks, Tulip, Bill, Andre, Barnaby, Orion, Badeea

Closest MC friends:

Ravenna Glynn (@chronic-clinomania )

Calista Slater (@i-am-not-cursed )

Naomi's always willing to make new friends, even if it takes her a while to pluck up the courage to approach somebody. Maybe message me if you want your MC to be friends?

Background / history:

Pre-Hogwarts:

Naomi was born at 7:13am on the 27th of April 1973 (a week late) as the third and youngest child to Eleanor and Anthony Kinnley.

Her childhood is happy. She gets along with both parents and both siblings (though she and Cindy clash more than her and Jacob) and has a pretty normal home life - save for the magic part.

Jacob began attending Hogwarts when Naomi was only 3 years old, And Cynthia when she was 6, making for a good amount of quiet time which Naomi was very fond of.

As soon as Naomi was able to read and write fluently - about aged 6 - she would exchange letters with both her siblings. She and Jacob wrote to each other more often, as they were the closest of the siblings.

She attended a Muggle primary school like her siblings, though only ever made a couple of friends and wasn't too upset to lose contact with them when she left for hogwarts.

Though the first wizarding war was taking place throughout her childhood, Naomi's family had never been a large target or very involved in the war effort - her parents had decided to put safety above all else, therefore neglecting to join the order of the phoenix and keeping themselves to themselves as much as possible.

Naomi was 8, nearing 9, when Jacob went missing in 1981. Old enough to understand and make her own judgements of the situation. She was immediately distraught though found it hard to accept that her beloved big brother would just leave her and spent over a year writing to him to find out where he had gone, without a single reply. In the end, just before she left for Hogwarts, Naomi decided that she'd do whatever it took to find her brother, her stubbornness taking over.

In Hogwarts:

Of course, the events of Hogwarts mystery happen during this time, though other points include the following

After being sorted into Ravenclaw house, Naomi quickly becomes very close friends with Rowan Khanna. After their initial meeting in Diagon alley, Naomi feels comfortable enough to talk freely with the girl and by the time Christmas rolls around she can firmly say that Rowan is her best friend.

Naomi is obviously a competent and talented student in many areas. A lot of teachers take a shine to her as she's focused and a hard worker. Therefore, she's often asked to perform demonstrations and to assist other students.

In her second year, Naomi became the newest chaser on the Ravenclaw quidditch team. To this day, she is grateful to Penny for pushing her to try out because quidditch helped her become the person she is today and introduced her to some of her closest friends and, of course, her now-husband.

Naomi spends a lot of time at the quidditch pitch, In the quidditch stands, in the three broomsticks, by the black lake and, after accidentally stumbling upon it in her 6th year with Tonks, Tulip and Charlie, the room of requirement. After Christmas of 5th year, Naomi also spends a good amount of time in the kitchens, practicing her new hobby of baking.

She and her dorm-mates often stock up on sweets from honeydukes and chose a night to stay up talking and eating until the morning. At some point, they started inviting other girl friends into the dorm for the night (starting after tonks unsuccessfully tried to sneak in behind tulip.)

Post Hogwarts:

Having been unsure about what her career would be all throughout school, Naomi decided to join Tonks in the auror training programme. She deduces that this job would be a good fit for her, and ends up really enjoying it.

Murphy proposes to her 3 years after the initial start of their relationship

They're married not long after, with Penny as Maid of Honour and Orion as best man. Naomi had both her father and brother give her away.

She and Murphy end up living near his mother in a previously abandoned house just outside his home town. It's pretty secluded so they can practice magic without worrying.

By 1995, Naomi and Murphy had had their first two children - Marigold and Cathleen - just as the second wizarding war was beginning.

The second wizarding war:

Both Naomi and Murphy join the order of the phoenix, her auror training coming in handy and him being focused on strategies (what else?). She has many missions, including surveillance and combat.

In joining the order of the phoenix, Naomi gets a chance to meet the golden trio. Harry, Ron and Hermione immediately seem more than capable, and Naomi makes sure she takes the time to let them know she's willing to help them out however she can.

In early 1998, Naomi falls pregnant for a third time, though decides that she won't tell anyone until she has to, trying not to add stress to the already scary times.

During the battle of Hogwarts, Naomi had very close encounters with Bellatrix LeStrange and Augustus Rookwood - both of whom came rather close to finishing her off. Fortunately, her auror training, dueling club experience and protect-don't-harm nature came through, and she managed to stun both death eaters before they took her life.

Naomi was there to witness Tonks' death. That moment was haunting and still shows up in her nightmares from time to time. She was also in the vicinity when Fred Weasley was killed.

Throughout the entire war, Naomi did not use an unforgivable curse once - something she's proud of as she often wanted to murder those death eaters who took her friends.

Post second wizarding war:

Murphy and Naomi both Survive the war, and Naomi took a break from work after the war to recover from the trauma and focus on herself and her family.

When she finally goes back to work, she is able to get to know Harry Potter and Ron Weasley a lot better and they end up becoming good family friends (along with the rest of the weasley family.)

She remains an Auror until the age of 46 (become head auror during this time) before resigning and taking over from her mother in law at the bakery. It's a very much welcomed change of pace (although Naomi is always willing to lend a hand on the odd auror mission at the request of Harry.)

Naomi often invites a large gathering of friends and family over for celebrations - notable occasions include New year's, her children's birthdays and the anniversary of both Rowan's death and the battle of Hogwarts. There's always a lot of food (usually prepared with the help of Cathy and Molly Weasley) and good times.

Home life is wonderful, She and Murphy have a very happy marriage and spend their lives together with their children, and then later their grandchildren.

Personality:

Protective - Naomi is very keen on the defensive way of doing things. She doesn't like to cause harm to anybody unless she can't see any alternative way out of a situation. Along with this, although she is usually pretty quiet and reserved, Naomi will never stand by whilst somebody (especially a friend) is struggling or in trouble. It's one of the few circumstances where Naomi will actually put herself into the action voluntarily.

Creative - Naomi is good at thinking on the spot. She can come up with solutions to a problem when all other possible solutions fall through by thinking outside the box.

Loyal - Naomi hasn't always found it easy to make friends, she's shy and gets very nervous talking to new people, but once she's made friends with somebody Naomi is always going to be there. She's always willing to take on their problems and help in whatever way she can, and makes sure that her friends know how grateful she is to have them and that she's always there when they need her.

Empathetic - Naomi is very good at understanding the feelings of others and knowing exactly what to say to make people calm down and feel better. She can put herself in people's shoes and also acts as the peacekeeper in many arguments as she can .

Easily Stressed - Naomi is an overthinker, she starts to panic when things start to go wrong and gets very stressed. The smallest thing can make her frustrated or worried, and though she can usually hide these feelings in the day, they always come out at night or at any time if they're strong enough. She finds it very hard to let go and let bad things happen.

Stubborn - Naomi isn't likely to back down from many things without a fight. She doesn't like to be wrong, accept too much help or admit she's made a mistake, just as she hates to lose an argument. She always makes sure to be as calm and polite as possible if she has different feelings, but sometimes she can't help but raise her voice.

Naomi is also pretty patient, indecisive, quiet, a good listener, generous and naturally intelligent among other things.

Miscellaneous:

As a baby, Naomi has thick, long, curly hair and was rather chubby, though by the time she reached 7, her curls loosened and her baby fat was no longer a problem. She still had very long hair though.

She goes by Mia to her friends, and Nomi, love and Mia to Murphy. She's also the only person other than his mother who's allowed to call Murphy by his first name or Murph, and also calls him darling, McNully and button (the nickname button has a backstory that I may or may not disclose at some point. She only calls him that when she's teasing him though.)

She was very nearly a hatstall between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff - and she ended up dictating the final decision. Naomi knows she would have been fine in either house now, but at the time, Ravenclaw seemed like the only option because Rowan had just been sorted into it, and it had been the house of her brother.

Although Naomi has glasses, she can usually see just fine without them, and doesn't bother wearing them outside of class.

She's a fiddler a doodler and a nail biter. All happen when she's nervous and/or bored. She'll work her nails down as much as she can and will pick up and play around with just about anything. She's also very prone to drawing and writinh all over her wrists - lists, memos, ideas, harmless pictures of golden snitches and nifflers and Murphy.

Naomi can both ride and drive horses and enjoys it rather a lot. She learnt on her Muggle grandparents' farm where she spent most of her summer holidays as a child and Hogwarts student.

Naomi and Murphy's mother Cathleen, or Cathy, are very good friends. They get along incredibly well and Naomi now comes to Cathy more than her own mother for advice. They spend a lot of time discussing Murphy and other things - often baking in the meantime (Cathy introduced her to baking and Naomi even ends up taking over her bakery business.)

Naomi was one of the few people allowed to attend Tonks and Remus' Wedding, and likes to keep in touch with Teddy Lupin after his parents death (relatively easy as he's good friends with her son Anthony and her Daughter Eleanor.)

She can't decide if her favourite colour is Yellow or blue. They've been her top two since forever but she's never been quite sure which is better.