#mainly just wanted to get a peek bc they have shows there sometimes and I wanted to get a look in

[floral-hex]

I can have The Sisters of Mercy’s 1987 album Floodland. as a treat.

[inactiveobeymeblog]

What Type of Anime Would The Brothers Watch?

A/N: Been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry, I just got caught up in life and work. There was a personal matter that I had to attend to so it took longer than usual. I know this isn’t the promised “next HC’s”, but trust me. They aren’t a myth. Yet…

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Solomon

Tags: SFW, anime, suggestive content, short HC’s

Lucifer

Definitely Slice of Life

He likes watching other people enjoy normal lives

He’s also quite sad that he doesn’t get to experience such things because of his certainly unique and odd family and boss

Secretly wishes he could be normal and live a normal life like the characters in the anime

Mammon

It’s hard to choose but he’d totally be into the action/fantasy category

Especially ones that deal with gambling or money

Actually learned a thing or two about gambling from an anime

Brought Lucifer a couple headaches and resulting in a few chandelier replacements, but hey

He’s living his best life

Leviathan

Alright. It’s pretty much canon at this point

Isekai

He loves how random some Isekai’s can get

I mean, how could you NOT watch someone being reincarnated into a fridge? That’s peek action right there!

But no seriously

He also loves how chaotic the titles can be

And how freakishly long they get the more he watches

As long as it’s Isekai, he doesn’t care what genre it is

Satan

Thrillers, true crime, or drama

Knowledge addict

He only picks the ones that are labeled as “based on a true story”

Gets super hyped when a new episode of one of his favorites comes out

Will genuinely keep him from destroying the place

Even if someone were to accidentally bump him

He’ll just brush it off and continue watching

Honestly is so cute when his eyes light up

Also fewer headaches in Lucifer’s department so it’s not all that bad

Asmodeus

Anything with fan service

Or comedy

He likes a good laugh every now and then

Or anything to do with fashion

Any three of those and he’s hooked

Doesn’t matter the genre, just set it in front of him and he’ll be entertained for hours

He doesn’t watch shows with fan service too often, but he usually does find the situations quite funny

I mean, someone’s cloths being shred to bits in the silliest way possible? Count him in! That shit is funny to him!

He also loves an anime that knows how to dress their characters right

Doesn’t matter what type of anime it is, as long as it keeps his eyes on the outfits, then he’s sold

But he’s usually caught watching comedy more so than hentai

He prefers to be horny with actual people, not fictional characters

Beelzebub

Dear lord, anything to do with food please keep it away from him

We don’t need a repeat of last time

He doesn’t watch anime too often, but when he does it’s usually rpg style shows

He likes how excitable they can be

He likes seeing the main character thrive and achieve what they wanted

Hates anime’s that have a good start but bad ending

I mean, come on

Who wants to be sad and depressed after watching a good show?

Certainly not Beelzebub

It makes him lose his appetite

Belphegor

Like Beelzebub, he doesn’t watch too much anime

He likes more relaxing and chill-going animes

So maybe slice of life with a bit of comedy and adventure

Nothing too extreme, just something to have in the background as he falls asleep

Sometimes, when he falls asleep with the TV on, he’ll dream of the anime and accidentally wake up late for R.A.D

He hates getting scolded by Lucifer so he makes sure to wake up before then

No one knows how he does it, but he manages

Diavolo

He watches whatever is recommended to him

Mainly Isekai because Levi can’t stop recommending everything to Diavolo (mainly bc the prince is the only one who will listen to him with interest)

He also likes to peek in on what Lucifer is watching, too

Because how could he not?

He’d love to understand more about his friend in any way possible and totally not because he wants to invite him out for drinks later and totally not because I’m a DiaLuci shipper

But he kind of just watches whatever whenever

Nothing really sticks to him

It’s either everything at once or nothing at all

He likes it chaotic

Barbatos

Doesn’t watch anime

Watches whatever is on the TV that the young master chooses

He’s more of a live cooking show type of demon

He prefers to learn something rather than entertain himself for the mere sake of it

He enjoys learning new things so he tends to stray away from the things that are fictional

But if there was one anime he’d watch, he’d watch Black Butler

Because how could he not?

He too, is One Hell of a Bulter

Solomon

Slice of Life or cooking

Mainly Slice of Life

He’s sort of been banned from watching anything related or suggested to cooking

Mainly out of fear from others

If he were to watch cooking anime shows, it’d be in private and when no one is watching

He likes how funny and chill some Slice of Life shows can get

It’s a break from his very disastrous life

Probably one of the few times a month he really gets to relax

After all, he still has to get that pact agreement from Lucifer

And he’s not going to stop any time soon

A/N: Totally did not make this to procrastinate— (whistles and slowly walks away…)

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ as animal hybrid boyfriends

Pairing: Reader x Members

Word count: 2.9k

Genre: Fluff | Headcanon | Animal Hybrid/Shifter AU | Boyfriend AU

Warnings: Very brief mention of spiders

Masterlist

Chan

A husky hybrid

Has the CUTEST pair of gray and white ears that stick out of the top of his head

Also has the most gorgeous pair of pale blue eyes that glow in the dark

He has a fluffy white tail that wags like crazy whenever he’s excited because he doesn’t know how to stop it from showing

He’s also the sweetest boyfriend in. The. WORLD!

Always asks how you’re doing

Makes sure your not missing any meals and that you’re always hydrated

Every morning, he wakes you up with cute good morning texts and he always tries to send you good night texts sometimes forgets because he gets so caught up in work

He makes up for it tho

Sends flowers to your place whenever he forgets uwu

Chan’s the perfect boyfriend

The only problem is that you’re allergic to dogs

He didn’t realise why you always seemed to sneezy and stuffy whenever you would come over to his place

Until you told him

And his reaction makes you feel like you just told him the most horrific thing in the world

To him it is!!!!

Because he’s the reason that you’ve been having allergic reactions around him!!

He starts vacuuming his place more often to keep any fur away and makes sure to keep the area super clean so that you’re clear from anything that could cause a reaction

He also starts lint rolling and vacuuming his clothes before giving them to you so that you don’t take any of his fur home unless you ask him to leave his fur

Chan gets confused whenever you tell him that you don’t want him to vacuum or wash his hoodies before giving them to you

But you like them because every time you see the strands of gray and white fur sticking out of his hoodie, it reminds you of him

So instead,

Chan starts buying a crap ton of allergy meds

Puts them in every corner of his house

In the bathroom

The kitchen

The living room

The bedroom

Literally everywhere just in case you get a super bad reaction

That way he’s always prepared for anything

Minho

A maine coon hybrid

The most luscious fur ever known to man

His cat ears are so fluffy and always well groomed

He has this beautiful fluffy orange tail that he’s gotten pretty good at hiding his feelings with

Usually a hybrid’s animal features would probably give away their emotions, but Minho learned to control his ears and tails really well

It’s just that his ears are really sensitive and they flick around every few seconds whenever he’s in a crowded place

He has a pair of yellow eyes that are constantly in the shape of slits simply because he wants to intimidate everyone around him

Also always has his claws out because they intimidate strangers

Wouldn’t tell anyone, but Minho lets his pupils dilate when he’s alone with you (´∀｀)♡

He also likes to tease you a lot but you know he’s just joking because if he was serious, his tail wouldn’t be so related

You try not to tell him because then he’ll start working harder to hide his tail swishes

Is the most precious yet teasing boyfriend out there

He’ll make a joke about you eating a lot of ice cream whenever you’re sad, but he’ll always have your favourite ice cream in the freezer

If you complain about some kind of muscle pain, Min would call you weak but then also come home with muscle relief patches that he’ll stick to you himself

Minho likes to shift into cat form if you’re stressed because then it means that he wouldn’t really disturb you a lot

His footsteps are way quieter when he’s in cat form as compared to human form

So if you’re stressed or tired and you ask him to give you time

Minho would shift and hide in one of the cat towers he bought for himself until he hears you coming out of the bedroom

The moment he hears the sound of the bedroom door opening, he’ll lift his head and peek out from the top

If you sit on the floor right in front of the tower, Minho will scurry off of the tower to sit in your lap to

But if you don’t even look at the tower and you instead go to the kitchen, he’ll wait a bit longer to give you more time

Changbin

Yk I wanna say he’d be some cursed Dwaekki hybrid the skzoo dwaekki haunts me in my sleep

But I genuinely feel like he’d be something really threatening like a wild animal

So if Chan’s a husky and Minho’s a maine coon

I’m gonna throw Changbin in as a grizzly bear because he’s a tank of a man and I love him for that

His ears are dark brown and rounded, poking out from the top of his head

His eyes are super dark brown and sometimes you can’t even tell if you’re able to see the white in his eyes bcs his pupils are just that big

His hands have these huge black claws that could claw someone apart if he wanted to

Also has a cute brown tail that he often hides underneath his clothes because it’s small enough for him to sit on

He gives THE BEST CUDDLESSSS!!!!!

Sometimes shifts into bear form just to cuddle you because it’s cold and relying on the heater might make it too warm

So Binnie likes to use his own fur to warm you up if he notices you shivering

Also would not hesitate to bear his teeth at anyone who tries to hurt you

Changbin doesn’t really tell anyone this

But one of his proudest bear traits is his ability to vocalise like a bear

Which means that whenever he feels the need to protect you or whoever’s around him

He will growl like a bear

And it’s terrifying

You didn’t even know that Changbin could roar until one night when a stranger wouldn't take your ‘no’ as an answer and your boyfriend almost lost his mind

He pulled you behind him and grabbed the collar of their shirt and just roared at them

The stranger being a hybrid of a smaller bear species immediately scrambled off

But Changbin also immediately switches back into sweet, cuddly boyfriend the moment he turns back to you <3

Hyunjin

A sphynx hybrid

Very dramatic

Very loud

He has pink cat ears sticking out of the top of his head with a little black splotch on his left ear

He also has this naked pink tail that sticks out from underneath his shirt

Every minor inconvenience and Hyunjin’s meowing and whining to you about it and you think it’s funny every time he does

Like the time he misplaced his sock and was crying all over your shared home looking for it until he found it underneath the bed

His claws are retractable, so he usually hides them because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone on accident unlike Minho

He’s VERY cuddly both in human form and cat form

Hyunjin likes to do the ‘kneading the dough’ thing whenever you’re cuddling

And ends up leaving holes in your clothes because his claws would accidentally grab onto the fabric

Would also feel really bad afterwards because now he’s ruined your shirt

You reassure him that it’s fine

But Hyunjin’s dramatic also kinda wants an excuse to go shopping with you

So he cries about it and it leads to him dragging you to the mall so that he can buy you a new one

Ends up getting distracted at a cat cafe because he’s made conversation with one of the cats there

And he’s basically talking to them like he’s a middle aged wine mom talking about their weird husbands

You have to remind him what the goal is

But he’s so immersed in the conversation with the orange tabby that you can only watch in amusement

Hyunjin’s talking to it in English while the cat nods with it’s tail swishing every time he asks it a question, mewling every once in a while as a response

You watch with a smile on your face, chin resting against the palm of your hand as you listen

You can only gather that Hyunjin’s telling the cat about why you’re at the mall

And the cat turns to you with a bored expression on its face before meowing

“She says good luck on finding a new shirt”

You nod and reach out to pet the cat’s head as thanks

You and Hyunjin leave after a while

And soon, the trip to get one shirt turns into a shared shopping spree

Jisung

Kinda obvious but he’s a squirrel hybrid

He has a pair of rounded, light brown ears on the top of his head

A bushy light brown tail that bumps into everything whenever he’s in cramped spaces

And the CUTEST pair of brown eyes EVERRRRR

His squirrel trait is where he gets the habit of stuffing food into his cheeks whenever he eats

Ji’s really good at climbing

So he has this long ass piece of wood that he keeps in the living room of his home so that he can still climb something in squirrel form if he can’t go outside

He also has tiny black claws that he uses mainly for practicality when he's in human form

So stuff like cutting into plastic, through strings and to open mail

He just slides his finger across the top of the envelope and boom

Jisung’s quite clumsy

It doesn’t help that he has this huge, bushy tail behind him

He bumps you with it a lot and he’s always so apologetic over it

But it’s fine because it’s his tail and it’s soft and cute and it’s part of Jisung UwU

There were a couple of times where you would wake up and his tail would be tickling your sides

So you’d wake up giggling

And it would wake him up too

He’d turn around and immediately wrap his arms around your waist to cuddle into you

You love playing with his ears

Jisung’s really responsive whenever you pet his squirrel features

So if you touch his tail in public

He’s jolting forward like AHHH

And you like to gently rub his ears whenever you’re cuddling

Jisung usually ends up cuddling into you more because he really likes it whenever you play with his ears

He has a habit of making those squirrel squeaks whenever he’s uncomfortable

So in public, if he feels like he’s overwhelmed or wants to leave

He’ll cling onto your arm and start squeaking softly so that only you’re able to hear

And it’s an easy way for you to know that he wants to leave without him actually telling you

Felix

Horned owl hybrid

He has two sets of white and brown feathers that poke out from the top of his head and curls to the back

He does, however, have talons at his fingertips that he doesn’t really like because it gets caught on a lot of things

Has feathers running down his arms, but can’t actually fly in human form

His eyes are this beautiful amber colour

He also has a lot of hanging stuff in his house that he likes to fly back and forth to whenever he shifts into owl form

Absolutely loves doing the head spinning trick because you freaked out the first time you saw him do it as a human

Felix also has really light footsteps

So sometimes you don’t even hear him coming into a room and suddenly he’s beside you

Which scares you sometimes

Overall, Felix is just unintentionally scary.

Buuuut

Because he has really good eyesight at night

And because he’s nocturnal

He sleeps in the day

Which means that all of his work is done at night while you’re asleep

His hearing is intense which means that he could hear the smallest pin dropping in the kitchen from the bedroom

So when he hears something strange coming from the kitchen

He’s immediately crawling out of bed and peeking out of the bedroom door

That’s when he sees a spider crawling out from behind the fridge

A huge spider

Now, Felix does NOT like spiders

But he knows that if you wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink, then you’re going to be freaked out by too

But he should be able to toss it out the window in owl form

So Felix pops open one of the windows and shifts

His silent flying and sharp night vision make it a quick mission that’s executed without much hassle

He manages to grab the spider with his talons and just tosses it straight out of the window

By the time Felix has returned to the bedroom

You’ve woken up because you realised he wasn’t beside you anymore

So he climbs back into bed and lets you hold onto him while you fall back asleep

Seungmin

Labrador hybrid

Has a pair of golden ears flopping over the top of his head

Also has a golden tail that he usually hides because if he gets over excited then it’ll wag all over the place and might bump into things

Is a relatively quiet person and is also a quiet dog

He doesn’t say or bark that much

But you’ve come to learn how to read his body language

Because his posture both in human form and dog form speak his thoughts

Like whenever he’s standing tall then you’ll figure that Minnie’s probably uncomfortable or feels threatened

As quiet as he is

He’s extremely attentive to your needs as well

Seungmin’s able to catch your body language way quicker than you are at reading his

Which means that the moment you look uncomfortable, he’s immediately moving to stand beside you with an arm wrapped around you

Think of it as that TikTok trend that’s like ‘using my scary dog privilege’

In this case

Seungmin’s more than happy to be the scary dog that lets you walk around alone

He’d bark and bite at anything or anyone who would try to hurt you

Even in human form, he’d growl as a warning to other animal hybrids that are around you

Whenever you’re out in public, Seungmin tries to stay by your side just in case anything happens

But when he has to part from you to talk to another group of your friends

He keeps you in his line of sight

He’d always angle himself in conversations so that the person he’s talking to has their back facing you so that he’s able to see you

And when a cat hybrid suddenly approaches you

Seungmin’s more on the attentive side but he hasn’t gone into protective mode because you don’t look uncomfortable

But then your frame starts to shrink

He immediately changes his posture

Which scares the people around him because suddenly, Seungmin looks so scary

He waits a moment longer and the moment you start looking around the room for him, he’s shoved his drink into the hands of Hyunjin so that he can make his way over to you

He slings his arm over your shoulder and glares at the cat hybrid who’s now extremely intimidated by the presence of the labrador hybrid

Seungmin leans close to the cat and growls at them until they run off

He stays with you for the rest of the night and the way he stays in protective mode makes you feel safe

Until you get home and Seungmin’s back to this ball of cuddle fluff that you absolutely love (｡♥‿♥｡)

Jeongin

Fennec fox hybrid

Has a big pair of white fluffy ears that poke out of his head

Has a fluffy white tail that blends into a more golden colour that’s long enough to poke out from underneath his shirt

He has super insane hearing

Even if he has headphones in, he can hear the outside world

Bodes well for him because whenever you walk into his apartment, he’ll walk out immediately to greet you

He never actually feels hot or warm because his body heat radiates off of his ears

Is always cold in human form

In fox form, his fur insulates his body instead so he doesn’t feel much of a difference

Has a habit of not drinking for hours because he can get stuck in his fox form

Also has a habit of chewing on your desk plants if he deems them edible

Unfortunately for you, that means you’ll come home to your beautiful plant babies half eaten and munched away because your fox boyfriend wanted a snack

To solve this problem, you filled the fridge with berries and vegetables for whenever he feels like snacking

But sometimes he goes overboard and he pretty much eats everything he can find when he forgets to eat for a while

He’s a fox hybrid that doesn’t know how to shift on command

Usually he has this big urge to shift but he’ll be stuck in one form for a while before being able to switch

He doesn’t know any other fox hybrids

So Jeongin has to learn to control his animalistic instincts with the help of you!

His human partner

Lucky for the both of you

You have a friend who’s a red fox hybrid

She’s not a fennec fox

But she still shares similar instincts to Jeongin because they’re both fox hybrids

So now Jeongin comes to you with the biggest smile on his face whenever he’s accomplished something, gushing about how Fox Noona taught him how to shift on command

He’ll show you

And you watch as he shifts into this tiny little fennec fox with a big smile on his snout (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

[ackerfics]

levi brings or cooks you food even if you two just got into a nasty big argument/fight

levi will definitely do this for his partner tbh 😔 he reminds me of those moms who nag you until you cry, only for them to offer you some food while you're crying in your room. basically, levi reminds me of my mom bc of this ask HSHDJSJ but putting that aside, he really does care for you so much that it sometimes stir guilt in his stomach whenever you feel upset after a fight. this happens at most twice a week but worry not, levi will make you feel better at the end of the day.

if this were set in canonverse, the argument will most likely include you being put in the safest spot of erwin's formation, courtesy of levi, without you knowing about it.

we all know levi is a very protective person when it comes to his loved ones and since the usual impending doom brought by an expedition that could cost you your life is right around the corner, he is being paranoid.

seeing as he lost his family/friends, previous squad, and soldiers under his care, he took it upon himself to consult erwin about putting you in the back of the formation where he was sure there will be no contact with titans. and erwin being the supportive wingman he is, approves of it. mind you, you're probably one of the squad leaders so putting you in that position can never benefit a person with your status in the military.

it is a nasty fight bc; one, there are many casualties and nearly your squad got wiped out, two, people inside the walls are getting on your nerves, and lastly, you found put about the last minute changes in the formation. there you have the fight.

the two of you are stubborn and wouldn't back down on each stand so you left his office with pathetic tears running down your cheeks while he mulls over the fact that he made you cry. this realization will not come until he just sits there staring into space for a couple of minutes. istg, levi pull yourself together 😤 levi would feel so so guilty and ashamed for himself bc you're this amazing squad leader and he had the audacity to place you in the safest part of the formation. of course, you'd be upset.

so he will make everything right.

later that night while doing paperwork, you faintly hear the distinct sound of a knock on your door. nobody knocks on your door like that so it would mean one person. you were about to say you're busy but levi whispered in the softest voice that can still be heard in the quiet hallway, "open up, please." you had no choice so you put aside your files and opened your door to a very flustered levi.

there was a box of your favorite treats from the bakery down the road and it instantly melts your heart. you have to lean your weight on your doorway bc levi looks so adorable with a flushed face. you have to control yourself from cooing and pinching his cheeks or else this moment will be ruined. you're preventing a smile from coming out bc he's thinking that you're still upset. you're far from it actually.

"i'm sorry for underestimating you, i only want to keep you safe. i hope you accept my apology." as he's saying this, he will present to you the box of sweets.

"well, if you're brandishing treats from the bakery in town, i know our fight's over."

"oh."

"yeah, so come in so we'll eat those sweets with some tea, love 🥰"

in the modern world, however, your fights mainly revolve around the stress piling up on your shoulders or misunderstandings. they're not that intense when compared to your fights with him in canonverse but they still created this tension in your shared home. there are so many things he could do in the modern world to pull a smile on your face, one of these is his habit of trying out new dishes.

one of your fights that caused you to walk out of the room was when he showed frustration over university.

well, you're also a college student with problems of your own so this fight is perfect to let go of the stress. it's quite a nasty fight tbh. remarks not even related to academics are being spewed out until he mentioned how uptight you are these days and how careless you've been for neglecting everything, even your health and the state of the apartment. levi can't do everything alone, sweetie.

it's not something to be mad about but hey, you're letting out steam and he just slapped the reality that you are becoming irresponsible when you are clearly not.

so with the realization that he might have been harsh, levi cooks your favorite food for dinner along with some side dishes. he went all out, bestie, all for you 🧡

you peek out from your bedroom because of the smell and he notices. levi turns and rolls his eyes playfully while sighing, "you're like a puppy." he smiles and beckons for you to come out. "let's eat. i tried doing some changes for your favorite food. i hope you still like it tho."

oh, you loved it. you're starting to think that fighting with levi is a good idea bc food will always be there in the end. this man will pamper you through and through and you love every second of it 🥰

[mymegumi]

cœur fidèle

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x fem!reader

genre: fluff, minor angst, childhood bestfriends au, royalty au, and friends to lovers

word count: 2.1k words

warnings: mainly ushijima’s thoughts, not a lot of dialogue/actions. fluff & sad ideals about unrequited love.

summary: he wants to make a life with you, and yet you’re meant to build a life as someone else’s lover.

notes: i’m almost positive this isn’t coherent bc i’m just rambling <3 also the end was rushed as fuck so sorreh bout that <3

dedicated: to thalia, may you continue making me and everyone else around you smile. ( @wak4tosh1 )

Royalty, by definition, are those of royal blood or status. A league above normal people, and meant for wealth and luxuries that people would only dream of even seeing with their own eyes. It’s a life of luxury, of people to work at your beck and call, and of never truly worrying unless you had to.

Why does Ushijima feel so empty then?

A prince in his early twenties, he’s in the prime of his life—a father that loves him unconditionally, friends by his side that love and value him for things other than his title and wealth, and even a hobby he can do when things feel so suffocating he can’t come up for air.

He’s grateful for everything he has, don’t get him wrong, but it’s always felt a bit… lonely somehow.

Ushijima, as the heir to a king’s throne, knows the weight his decisions will make on the kingdom his father’s built up, and yet he can’t help but wonder about what kind of life he could have had if he’d just been born from a peasant woman. Would his life be so much more insignificant than it was now?

He thinks the first time he really truly wondered about a life without a crown, a life without power and influence, was when he met you for the first time.

A princex from a neighboring kingdom, you were everything that Ushijima wasn’t.

Where he was more reserved, tending to keep his thoughts and opinions to himself, it seemed as if you were always willing to give yours. You were bright and beautiful in all the ways that Ushijima tried to keep himself in the shadows, the brightest star on a black sky.

When he first saw you, he thought you were otherworldly. An ethereal being at the ripe age of fourteen and his cheeks dappled with heat, but he thinks that this is what ladies in the court meant when they talked about love.

Ushijima is only fourteen, and yet when you pull on his hand to tug him into the gardens, laughter on the wind and sunshine beating down on your backs, he thinks about the love beginning to blossom in his chest without knowing the word for it.

It’s warmth on a summer day, and the way you smile at him when he says something snarky about the other royals.

“Ushijima!” you called to him, hand curled around your mouth in an attempt to amplify your voice, trying to get it to carry throughout the courtyard, “I know you can hear me, stop hiding from me!”

“We’re playing hide and seek,” he called back, hands behind his back as he peeks his head out from behind the tree he’d chosen as his hiding spot, “You’re ruining the point of the game, you’re supposed to seek, and I was supposed to hide.”

Your bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed across your chest as you walked towards him, “Okay, but I didn’t think I’d have to walk around by myself, this is only my first time being here. I don’t even know any of the good hiding spots!”

“Do you want me to show you for the next time you come?” He hadn’t hit his growth spurt at the time of first meeting you, so he’s not yet looking down at you from his height above you. “The best ones are in the kitchen because sometimes the chefs will give me snacks.”

“Snacks?” Your eyes lit up, and Ushijima remembers feeling something in his chest tighten a bit, the smile you gave him was one of the first, and yet he remembers it like it was the most recent, “Okay, let’s go then!”

You grabbed his hand, then, and it was warm, and Ushijima was sure he could do that for the rest of his life.

He asked his father about you, later in the month when you went home, and he just smiled at him. His father put a hand on Ushijima’s head and ruffled his hair. Ushijima didn’t know it back then, but his father was sad, most likely knowing his son lost his heart.

Perhaps it was when he was first learning about marriage and the concept of having a ruler by his side that he realized that feeling he got whenever he was with you meant he was in love with you.

“Are you here for very long?” You tilt your head to the side as you contemplate Ushijima’s father’s question, “We haven’t seen you in a few months, and I’m not sure if Ushijima did, but I certainly missed you, princex.”

Ushijima always misses you when you aren’t around, he decides in his mind.

“I probably have to leave soon,” you respond, hands curled delicately around a porcelain cup that his father had made shortly after he turned eighteen. His country’s colors look good on you, he thinks, “Forgive me for not sending any letters, I’ve found it hard to write lately since my life has been so busy.”

“Yes,” his father smiles, and his face is all Ushijima can concentrate on, because he knows what conversation topic is coming up, “how are the wedding preparations coming along?”

He forgets sometimes. He forgets when you smile at him like he’s the only thing in the room, eyes focused on him and only him. He forgets when you call his name, light with laughter and filled with sunshine. He forgets when you pull at his hands, begging him to dance with you to music that only you can hear, but he always pulls you in, savors the feeling of you pressed against him as you sway together.

He’s always reminded again when he sees the foreign country’s pin claiming you as theirs.

Sometimes he wishes his father had introduced you earlier. That he met you before you were promised to someone else, and yet, he fantasizes about a life where he met you before.

Before what? He laughs to himself bitterly, fork pushing his dinner around the plate as he listens to you talk to his father about your wedding—sometime in the next few months, with blush pink roses and carnations the color of strawberries, even if he knows you hate carnations.

Before you were someone else’s, before you were going to be leaving him, before he could tell you he had loved you for what he thinks is his entire life.

His father told him thinking about ‘what ifs’ only hurts you in the end, and he’s starting to think he was right. In a life filled with expectations in return for nothing, Ushijima supposes he could just settle down with anyone. He won’t be an unloving husband, he’d hate to be what his mother was to his father, and yet, he’s sure he won’t ever be able to give his heart away as willingly.

“Wakatoshi,” god, he hates when you use his first name, and yet it’s worse when you use his last name, because yours will never be the same, “want to walk in the gardens? Your father told me about the renovations he’d done a few months back, I’d love to see them.”

He places his fork and knife over the plate easily, quiet and refined since utensils were one of the first lessons he’d learned, and looks at you, face as neutral as he can make it, “Of course.”

You push back from the table, and fold your hands behind your back, ever the polite guest. Ushijima stands and pushes in the both of your chairs before holding an arm out for you, a polite gesture disguising his desire to hold you as close as he can.

Perhaps most of his life had been spent selfishly hoping for you. In a way that someone in love would, he’s kept his distance from you before, but you’d just barged back in like you were a storm and he was a loosely latched window. He held you at an arm's length away, and you always managed to press as close to him as you could, fighting against his every instinct to turn you away.

He doesn’t mean to monopolize you, not really. Sometimes he just wishes to keep your smile to himself, but he knows you, and when you smile at him the way you do, with a little sparkle in your eye and a tease on your lips, he knows you’re only smiling for him.

He wonders if your betrothed has ever made you smile like he has.

“The roses always look so lovely this time of year,” you muse, both of your shoes clicking in time with his as you make your way to the gardens. A window overlooks the winding green plants, and the cut glass showcases the evening sunset, rainbows splaying across the concrete walls of his father’s castle, “It’s a shame this genus won’t be in bloom when my… wedding is to occur. I’d love to see some Shiratorizawan roses in my bouquet.”

Maybe he’s imagining it, but you sound sad—perhaps it’s only because you won’t have his country’s national flower as a set of your wedding piece, but a man can hope.

“Perhaps we could arrange for a bouquet of dried roses to be set aside for you,” he murmurs, holding the door open for you as you settle into the courtyard, “The scent will be immaculate, and they’ll stay for a good few years.”

Your smile is sweet, but your eyes are sad, he notes.

“Mm,” you pull away from his arm to cradle a wilting rose bloom in your hands, thumbs pressing feather-light against the wilted edges, “I wonder what it would be like to see such gorgeous roses every morning from my balcony. You’re lucky, Wakatoshi.”

“You could,” he says without thinking. A fumble in his normally stoic nature, he tries to cover it with a cough, but you have always been more perceptive of him than he’d like.

He can’t see your face, but he can see the way you release some sort of tension from your shoulders. Dropping the flower, you turn back to him and press a hand to the outside of his arm, “You mean it?”

“Maybe not from a balcony,” he murmurs, hand setting at your waist, his head begins to tip towards you without him even realizing it, “from a kitchen window, perhaps?”

“Overlooking a flower garden, and a vegetable garden?” Your hum is inquisitive, and Ushijima smiles at you, grateful you’re playing along at his fantasy, “Let’s do it, then.”

Oh. Maybe not a fantasy, then.

“Run away with me, ‘Toshi,” your hands reach up, cupping Ushijima’s cheeks as he blinks at you, “I don’t want to get married to anyone that isn’t you.”

“But, my father… I can’t just leave my family like this,” he pulls you into a hug when you sigh against him, thumbs brushing along the highs of his cheeks, “My sister’s not yet ready to take the throne, I can’t just abandon them. What if something happens to father?”

“Your sister’s always wanted to take the throne,” you whisper back, voice tight with desperation, he wants to go with you more than you know, and yet there’s something holding him back, “Let’s go somewhere where we can live like normal people. No crowns, no kingdoms to rule, just you and me.”

“What about your husband?”

You laugh, arms winding around his neck as you press closer to him, “Toshi, darling, don’t think. You’ve always thought too much, just. Let’s just go.”

You rocketed into Ushijima’s life like a shooting star, streaking across his sky without a single thought for the effects you’d leave behind. Yet he can’t help but watch you go.

“Of course.”

The lavender plant that grows along the edges of Ushijima’s house has always offset the harsh pinks of the roses he’d planted underneath the windows. It’s convenient, of course, that his father had left a baby rose bush on his desk the night he left.

“Toshi! The ladies in the town are asking after you again, they want you to come fix the gutters again.”

“I just fixed them last month,” he calls back, back of his hand wiping away the sweat forming on his brow as he looks up. He has to block the sun from his eyes, and your figure is shrouded in shadows instead.

“Mm, perhaps they’re looking for an excuse to see you work again, darling,” you call back, basket in hands as you smile at him. He really will never get tired of your smile, he thinks, “But, while they were distracted talking about you, I managed to sell everything for a little higher price than normal.”

By now, Ushijima has gotten up from the ground and is in front of you, his shadow over your face to block the sun, “My little swindler.”

Your smile loses its intense edge, and instead softens, “Do you ever regret it?”

“Regret what?” He mumbles, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, “Being with the love of my life?”

“Mm,” you nod, eyes dreamy as he smiles.

“Not even for a second.”

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

JONAH’S EVER AFTER ON IKEREV TW

I CAN’T I--

HIS RELEASE CAMPAIGN CAME OUT YESTERDAY BUT I ONLY SAW IT A FEW MINUTES AGO BC I WAS ON VACATION I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS WHAT KIND OF JONAH STAN AM I

THIS MEANS THAT JONAH’S ROUTE CAMPAIGN WILL BEGIN SOMEWHERE AROUND LATE OCTOBER OR EARLY NOVEMBER IN THE ENGLISH VERSION SO MARK YOUR CALENDARS

I’m putting the rest of this under a cut for length bc I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

[Translation:

“On the 1 in a hundred million chance that I cannot marry you into the Clemence family, then I’m prepared to abandon my family.”

Whether it’s to build a family together, or to receive happiness together. For the one you love, the path you should take to the future is...

“You’re really too much. Don’t say something like...I’m sorry.”

The eyes that are brighter than the fireworks in the sky overflow with tears, and turn into strength to overcome the mirror blocking our path.

“When it’s only the two of us, I’m just Jonah...and I want to spoil you as much as I like.”]

ASDFKJWEIH;KAFJJE;LSAKFSD

I CAN ALREADY SENSE THE ABSOLUTE ANGST IN THIS ROUTE

IN HIS ORIGINAL ROUTE HE HAS TO ABANDON THE RED ARMY AND NOW IN HIS EVER AFTER HE HAS TO ABANDON HIS FAMILY TOO????? ESPECIALLY AS WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH THE CRIMSON LINEAGE MEANS TO HIM??????????????????

And something I also really like is how the themes from the original route extends into his sequel, like the parts about “never apologizing” and “I can only be myself when I’m with you.” It just makes it feel more like a sequel and adds a better sense of completion uwu

ALSO JONAH’S TEARS ARE GOING TO DESTROY ME Y’ALL WILL SEE ME SOBBING ON TUMBLR WHEN I GET TO THAT PART

.

Here’s the mini talk list:

Luka + Sirius: please tell me about your families!

This one is already out, so here’s the screenshots!

[Translation:

Sirius: My home is always full of flowers, it’s a place that makes your mood lift.

Luka: Yeah...as opposed to Sirius’s family, mine was very quiet.

Luka: Even though it had always been pretty quiet...but ever since “that person” left home, it became even quieter.

Luka: Maybe it was because my family weren’t interested in me, so that’s why it feels so quiet.

Sirius: Haven’t you ever had experiences of playing noisily with Jonah in your home before?

Luka: No. We’re different from Sirius’s family...but there was only one time.

Luka: When I was young, that person had brought me out secretly before.

Luka: The both of us ran around and played in the secret courtyard that person found...

Luka: Until the skies grew dark.

Sirius: ...Is that so. Where is that courtyard full of memories? Is it close to your home?

Luka: I don’t know, I can’t remember...but, it doesn’t matter if I can’t remember it.

Luka: Now I think...it’s alright if that courtyard only exists in my memory.]

*deep breath*

ALKL;KCVKNCKDSA;KWOIWQOIK;FDMX;LZDS;ALKSJFA;LKJ

AKD;XJCEWQ8RJEIU;ANFVDFJSVVF’WDOIJ

;NWEFFKKGDMZXCKCERTIIUIBRI;JDSFJSMF;JLAEKF;LEQKJBNCM

FIRST OF ALL

A SECRET COURYARD???????? THAT JONAH FOUND?????????????? AND BROUGHT LUKA THERE TO PLAY???????????????????????? BUT ONLY ONCE???????????????????????????????????

I wonder how he managed to find it? But also it was to be expected that he would bring Luka bc he always wants to share what he loves with Luka (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Also just imagine the little Clemence bros running around and playing (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ ♡ ♡

But like...

OH MY GOD LUKA WHAT HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

It’s so sadddddddd to think that the Clemence house got even quieter when Jonah left. Also I can’t figure out if Jonah “leaving” means that he left to go to boarding school or if he left to join the Red Army, but that was probably when Luka started to hate Jonah for abandoning him. I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up in such a quiet and cold place and to have it grow even quieter and colder when the one person you thought cared about you left because now he has other things that are more important than you (/□＼*)・゜

Edgar + Kyle: can love between people of different social statuses exist?

The rest of these aren’t released at the moment I wrote this, so I’m mainly just going to be addressing my predictions!

So it’s clear that Jonah and MC are considered to be from different social ranks, even though MC is “Alice the Second” and has the power to nullify magic. She’s probably considered as a “commoner” in the Red Territory, so I can see why it would be difficult for Jonah and MC to get married.

And you know what else this reminds me of??? If we look at Seth’s route, we finally find out that the whole reason Cradle got divided into two was because a Red noble fell in love with a girl from a different social rank. And that romance tore a country apart, so.

Dean + Dalim: about family

Aight here we go. Are Dean and Dalim really family??? Do we finally get to find out??? Or at least get some sort of clue??? Bc I’m torn between the theory that they’re twins with amnesia or if Dean was some sort of clone created by the Magic Tower when they experimented on Dalim. And I have no idea when their routes are gonna be released, so I really hope we get more hints throughout each Ever After route.

Lancelot: Jonah’s tears

THIS IS THE SECOND MINI TALK THAT WILL DESTROY ME AFTER THE LUKA + SIRIUS ONE.

Also this is a reminder that Lancelot was probably the only one who has seen Jonah at his weakest before MC came along. It’s probably to be expected, since they’ve known each other for literally more than half their lives and also since Lancelot saved Jonah.

And technically Luka has known Jonah for the longest time, but I doubt that Jonah will ever show weakness in front of Luka because he considers himself as Luka’s protector, but it’s different in front of Lance. I feel like he can show his weaker side to Lance, and it just emphasizes how deep the relationship between them is.

SO GET READY FOR THE JONALOT FEELS WHEN THIS ONE COMES OUT.

Jonah: what is your ideal proposal?

OK I feel like this one is either gonna be super romantic or super cheesy. Or both, considering the type of person that Jonah is. But I’m gonna love it no matter what bc 1) Jonah can make even the most embarrassing situations funny and touching and 2) I’m too weak for my mille-feuille boi.

.

The screenshots for the “Peek at Romance” thing is here:

[Translation:

My dear Queen of Hearts, Jonah Clemence.

Jonah: In that party, every heir of the Clemence family will...

Jonah: Publicly introduce his fiancee, receive the acknowledgment and blessing of the whole clan, and finally step into the halls of marriage.

“What is a happy ending?”

--It’s when, the person who cannot be replaced becomes family.

Luka: Even though my brother is troublesome, and sometimes overly enthusiastic, but from now on please take care of him.

--It’s when, you become allies with the person you met.

Levie: Who hurt MC!? I’ll destroy that guy...!

Jonah: Calm down, Levie Castell. See who’s your true enemy clearly!

When he couldn’t provide an answer, it made tears overflow from his eyes.

And--while looking for an answer, it’s also possible to lose something.

Dalim: Thanks. Goodbye, princess.

Dean: I couldn’t ask any of the things I’ve been wondering before he ran...

But even so, we will still advance forward bravely.

This is all to receive the answer--to have a happy ending.

Jonah: From now on, everyone will see you as...

Jonah: The Queen of Heart’s...and also the head of the Clemence family’s wife.

Jonah: But, when there’s no one else, and when it’s just us two.

Jonah: We’ll become Jonah and MC again, and we can love each other as much as we like.

Jonah: I love you, MC.

No matter what happens, he, who is the most beautiful and pure in the world...

Will only accept a future that is even better than a happy ending...!]

I just...literally cannot express my love for this summary.

First of all I’m just gonna talk about the tone. Right off the bat MC calls him “my dear Queen” and it was just. So. CUUUUUUUUUUTE.

Also, the question and theme of “a happy ending” is brought up, and the rest of the sneak peek answers that question (it’s when the people you love become your family and the people you meet becomes your allies), but also explores how they could find those answers (Jonah crying when he couldn’t find an answer and advancing forward bravely because they just want their happy ending). And finally we finish it off with a super Jonah-like statement, announcing that he’ll accept no less than the most perfect ending of them all!

Moving on to the information revealed...it’s pretty cool how there’s a special party for the next head of the Clemence family when they’re ready to announce their marriage and gain approval. Also, it’s kinda wild to think that Jonah will eventually become a head of the family just like his father and his grandfather before that.

AND THE PART WITH LUKA AND LEVIE ARE LITERALLY SO ADORABLE. LIKE, LUKA INSULTING JONAH BUT ALSO LEAVING HIM TO MC AND LEVIE DEFENDING MC FROM PPL WHO WOULD HARM HER IS 10/10 PERFECT

Also it seems that Dean and Dalim’s backstories might be explored more but won’t be resolved just yet. I guess we really do have to wait until their routes get released to find out.

In short, this was an amazing summary of the route. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH UNTIL I CAN FINALLY READ THE WHOLE THING???????????????????????????

.

Also FYI, this is all completely new to me. For the other characters’ sequels, I played it through on Ikerev JP bc I can’t wait until the releases in the TW and English version that’s like, a year later. But I didn’t read Jonah’s sequel bc my Japanese isn’t super good and I wanted to read my man’s story in a language that I can completely understand so I literally have no idea of what to expect apart from what I found out in the campaign release :3

Also also I’m probably gonna be posting for every part in the story I’m going through BC I JUST LOVE JONAH THAT MUCH. I guess it would make up for my inactivity this month ^^;

[4dtk]

stuck with you

pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader

genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)

warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀

word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)

A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^

[day 1]

"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.

hotels never exactly had much range anyway. 

you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan. 

offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.

and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed. 

"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.

he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him. 

"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."

there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.

"ow! what the hell?" 

"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat. 

taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.

"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.

[day 4]

"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"

"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look. 

"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.

you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.

with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.

turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.

"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.

"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.

one of them was catching feelings for your rival.

rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.

[day 9]

"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger. 

haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.

"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his. 

"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"

your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either." 

haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.

despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.

there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.

when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.

"don't just stand there, you moron!" 

haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.

he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes. 

haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.

you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.

"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down." 

you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."

exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.

"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages. 

"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.

"why do you want to know?"

haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.

even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.

[day 13]

"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing. 

"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"

"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.

"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt. 

"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.

haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed. 

"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"

when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.

"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?" 

"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.

"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.

"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.

[day 17]

haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made. 

"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article. 

with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.

with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host. 

because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.

[day 20]

the next few days pass by with a breeze.

despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.

petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.

today was one of the days you won't back down.

there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you. 

with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.

"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."

the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."

"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."

"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.

you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"

haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.

"villain? i'm the villain?"

"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.

"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."

with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."

"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.

"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.

"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.

"wrong! try again."

"politics?" you propose.

haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"

your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.

"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.

"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"

"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"

within three angry steps, you were across the room.

within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.

within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.

"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.

"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.

had you liked it?

the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves. 

with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.

[day 25]

"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.

for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.

"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh." 

haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's. 

"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.

"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"

the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."

"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.

[day 28]

"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed. 

"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.

"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."

"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.

"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."

"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.

"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.

[day 31] 

your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.

haechan.

your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.

gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.

when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.

[day 32]

"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.

"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing. 

luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.

"it's two in the morning, what's up?" 

you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory. 

now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.

"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."

maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.

"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."

"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.

"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.

"is this just about your feelings for me?" 

haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!" 

your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door. 

"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.

"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument. 

your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.

"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.

"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.

"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.

"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."

"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.

the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."

even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.

there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.

his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.

with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.

haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.

"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.

"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."

"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."

the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.

with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.

[day 33] 

the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.

haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader. 

the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview. 

'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.

'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.

'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'

'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'

'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'

'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'

'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'

'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.

'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'

'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?' 

'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'

'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'

haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...

the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.

[day 34]

"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.

"yeah sure, thanks." 

the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room. 

you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.

"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.

haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.

"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.

"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"

he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.

"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.

'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.

'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'

'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'

'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'

'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'

'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'

'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'

'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'

'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'

'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'

'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.

'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'

'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'

'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'

looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.

the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time. 

"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.

"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile. 

"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.

you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.

"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:

"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile. 

you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.

"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.

it made you smile, something simple as that.

"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.

"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder. 

"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things." 

"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."

"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."

"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."

you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred. 

"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye. 

"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."

"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."

"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."

"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."

and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time. 

brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones. 

choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment. 

you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.

haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.

"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.

you bit your lip, "yeah."

"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.

you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.

"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.

"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.

"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings." 

nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.

[day 38]

"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together. 

"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.

the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression. 

"stranger things, ma'am."

you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.

[day 39]

"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable. 

with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.

the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.

you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.

with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.

the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.

you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.

"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.

the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.

"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could. 

a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.

"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.

"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.

[day 41]

"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.

"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.

"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"

"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.

"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.

your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.

"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.

"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation. 

"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.

"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.

"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.

he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."

you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.

[day 42]

suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".

"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.

you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.

"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.

you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.

the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.

"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."

haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous." 

you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.

"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?

you weren’t exactly sure.

he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?". 

"nothing," haechan grins.

[there are more days to come]

sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.

but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.

you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.

like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.

you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.

with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.

days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.

even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.

there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.

[curlyhairedbrock]

Rough Day - Colby Brock

HI um, I really hope you guys enjoy this 🥺👉👈 This took me a few days (and lots of emotions) bc I was writing it in between my work shifts! I love you baby bubbas <3 !!!

Word Count: 2,244

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Today had been quite possibly one of the worst days you’ve ever experienced. You went into workplace at ten in the morning, a small café in downtown Los Angeles, and you were in such a bubbly mood.  Despite having a nine-hour shift, you were excited to see your coworkers once again.  

The first thing that had set you off was your manager. Sometimes she could be in the best, most positive mood possible; although other times, it feels as if you're walking on egg shells with her. Today, she was not in a good mood. She had constantly yelled at you throughout most of the day for the smallest things possible; not wiping down the tables, not changing the garbage bins as frequently and not having enough coffee brewed, all of these problems stemming from the plethora of customers constantly coming in and out of the store as LA is known for its influencers which are mainly obsessed with coffee.  

“Y/N, what is wrong with you today?”  

“You have to work faster and better!”

“No, no, no! You’re doing everything wrong!”  

Those were just a few of the derogatory things that your manager kept saying to you. As if that wasn’t emotionally draining enough - being yelled at for things out of your control - you also had a surprise health inspection on the store to determine the sanitary conditions of the café. Your workplace was fairly clean, although it sometimes becomes too hard to constantly follow the endless rules put into place, especially with the number of customers constantly in and out of the store.

“Make sure to always write a sticker to mark the expiration date INSTANTLY, while clearing the busy lines!”

“This coffee’s freshness expired three minutes ago, why is it still here!?”

“Don’t forget to ask the customers if they want to make their order a combo!”

On top of the never-ending rush hour, you now had to deal with a health inspector out to find the smallest mistake you could possibly make so that the café would be shut down. You couldn’t just be a good worker; you were expected to be perfect. You were merely nothing but an emotionless robot; A cog in a capitalist machine in the eyes of society.

After receiving an almost perfect score, ninety percent, you were still getting shit from your manager. “We passed, but it's not a good mark. We’re supposed to get one hundred percent every single inspection,” She grumbled under her breath.

The final thing that set you off today was the infinite number of rude customers. Whether they were busy, in a bad mood or just mean in general, you always got the worst end of their attitude. Almost every other customer was giving you degrading remarks, yelling at you, giving you glares and just plain rude in general. You didn’t know why either. You always greeted every single one of them with a bright smile and with a welcoming voice, “Hello! How could I help you today?”  After all, you were only trying to do your job to the best of your ability.

After the nine torturous hours had finally passed, you finally left the café and got into your car. You locked the door and sighed, not starting the car up yet as you rested your forehead on the steering wheel, tears brimming your eyes.  

With a few sniffles and the first tears cascading down your cheeks, you let out a shaky breath. Suddenly your phone starts buzzing on the passenger seat next to you. You pick it up to see who it was calling; Colby Brock. Deciding that you didn’t want him to hear you completely breaking down, you let the call go to voicemail; Only for it to be followed by a text from Colby.

Cole Bear 🧸💕 - “Hey sweetheart! I just remembered that your shift ended right now. I’m at the gym, but I’ll be home in an hour though! I love you to the moon and back!”

You sighed, your lips turning into a small frown as tears continued to escape your eyes. After the terrible day you’ve had, you just wanted to go to your shared apartment with Colby and cuddle, but now you had to wait a whole hour until you were able to see Colby. You wiped your eyes as best as you could to get rid of the blurred vision and started up your car, starting your journey back to your safe haven, the arms of your boyfriend, Colby.  

After the short drive that you barely paid attention to – you were grateful that you had gotten home safe as you were zoning in and out the entire drive – You finally had reached home.  You trudged through the lobby and into the elevator, tears welling up in your eyes once again. You pressed the button labelled “5” and turned around to look at your reflection.  

Your hair disheveled in a falling bun, your eyes bloodshot, your uniform stained with coffee and whipped cream. You frowned, yet again as your fingers traced the dark spots under your eyes and the wrinkles on your forehead when finally, the elevator door opened and you shuffled out into the hallway and into your dark apartment.

You knew that you should shower; the stench of working the entire day was evident in the air around you and your skin felt sticky from the sweat of your hard labor. You probably should have gone straight into the shower but when you went into your bedroom, you couldn’t help but curl up into a fetal position on the bed and cry your eyes out. Every sob escaping your mouth came with a memory of how unpleasant your day had gone. Every tear serving as a reminder of another reason why your manager yelled at you, another rude customer, another reason why you’re not good enough.

In the midst of you breaking down, you didn’t hear Colby entering the house and walking down the hallway to go into the bedroom. His eyebrows furrowed at the faint sound of your weeping as concern and worry washed over his face. He slowly and quietly opened the bedroom door and peeked his head inside, the image in front of him causing his heart to break.  

“Y/N? Baby!” He gasped as he pushed the door fully open and rushed to your side, sitting in front of you, rubbing your back with one hand while caressing your cheek with the other. “Shh, darling, shh. I’m here now. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay sweetheart” came out of Colby’s mouth along with other comforting words of the sort which eventually quieted your sobbing to small whimpers.  

Colby brushed your tears away with his thumb and leaned down to press a loving kiss on your forehead. You slowly look up at him with blurred vision and sniffle, a confused look on your face. Colby’s heart broke into smaller pieces at the sight of your red, stuffy nose, flushed cheeks, tear streaked face and bloodshot eyes.

“I thought you weren't going to get home for another hour?” You croaked as questioned him, your throat scratchy from all the crying you had just done. Softly taking his hand in yours and squeezing tightly, you gained a small sense of comfort as your safe place – or rather, your safe person – Colby was finally here.

He offered you a soft smile, worry still evident in his eyes as he continued to caress your cheek tenderly. He placed your head on his lap and stared down intensely into your eyes. “When you didn’t text me back, I got worried and rushed home. I'm glad I did Y/N, what’s wrong darling? What’s gotten you so upset baby?” Colby replies, glad that your tears have come to a slow stop.

“Just a really rough day at work bubs” you mumble, averting your eyes from his which causes Colbys face to fall into a slight frown.

“Would you want to talk about your day, Y/N?” He offers to listen to you, pushing hair out of your face delicately and cupping your cheek with his hand.

“Not really bubs, I just want to take a shower and cuddle” You whispered, looking up at him once again, as well as offering him a small smile with a hopeful look in your eyes.  

“Come on baby, let's go get you showered and cuddled” Colby beams brightly, making you quietly chuckle. Colby helped you stand up and gently placed his hand on the bottom of your back as he led you to the bathroom. You slowly started undressing out of the uncomfortable uniform and strip out of your bra that was digging into your skin throughout the day and underwear as well.  

Colby, after starting up the shower, started to strip out of his clothes as well and stepped into the warm shower and offered you a bright smile, his dimples showing, “Well? What are you waiting for bubs? Come on!” He chuckles as you walk into his open arms and under the hot water.

You let out a sigh of relaxation as you wrapped your arms around Colbys torso, resting your forehead against his bare chest as the water cascaded down the both of your naked bodies, steam leaving the shower and filling the bathroom. You closed your eyes as Colby delicately rubbed your back, slowing down your heartrate even more.  

All of a sudden, you jerk slightly away from Colby with a small gasp as you felt something cold coming in contact with your head. “Shit, sorry Y/N, that was just shampoo baby. It’s okay, close your eyes and relax, love” He says in a hushed voice. You followed his words and closed your eyes again, snuggling closer to his body as you felt his hands gently shampoo your hair.  

After Colby had finished with the shampoo, he gently moved your two intertwined bodies so that your head was under the stream of water, washing away all the suds from your scalp as Colby places a caring kiss on your cheek.  

“I love you, Cole” you mumbled, opening your eyes to look up at him, adoration clear as daylight in his eyes. He smiled, pushing a piece of your wet hair behind your ear. “I love you too, Y/N”

After all the suds in your hair had fallen with the stream of warm water which cascaded down your body, Colby got a loofah and started putting shower gel on it and bringing it to your body, gently scrubbing away the stickiness from the sweat of the earlier hours.

You hummed in response, relaxing at his movements. You slowly unwrapped your arms from around Colbys waist and grabbed the shampoo bottle, squeezing some into your hands and bringing your hands to Colbys hair as you massaged the shampoo into his scalp gently.

Your actions caused his movements to falter for a few seconds, his eyes closed as a quiet moan escapes his mouth. “That feels so good baby,” He whispered before returning to his prior actions of scrubbing your body gently.

After you both had cleaned yourselves up and turn the shower off, Colby hands you a soft and fluffy towel to dry yourself, doing the same actions as his body was dripping with water.  

“Cole... thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Thank you for taking care of me” You speak with a soft tone, looking up into his perfect ocean eyes.

“Anything for you, darling. I’m always here for you whenever you’re feeling down. You could always talk to me, you know?” Colby replies back, a loving smile on his lips. His smile slightly turns into a smirk as he suddenly jolts forward and traps you into his arms, picking you up and walking back into the bedroom.

Colby plops you down onto the bed, the mattress causing you to bounce a bit as Colby gets under the covers with you. He pulls your body closer to him so that your head was laying on his bare chest.

“I wanna cuddle. I’ve always wanted to cuddle naked; I can't believe we’ve never done that before” he mumbles with a short chuckle, his grip slightly tightening around your waist and his eyes staring into yours, with a grin. Up close, you were able to see every little detail upon his perfect face. Every single freckle littered across his cheeks and nose; Every bright blue fleck in his eyes; The way his lips were so pink, full and kissable; The slight dark eyebags under his eyes; His dimples when he smiles.

Colby was perfect to you; inside and out. His actions in comforting you proving even more how perfect he is. “Of course, bubs. Once again, thank you for taking care of me. I love you so much” you replied, snuggling closer to him and pressing a chaste kiss to the tattoo on his chest.  

The memories of the terrible day had faded away, being replaced with the memories of the way Colby cared for you. It was almost as if the earlier events had not occurred at all. And with his steady breathing, the movement of Colby’s chest lulling you to sleep, the soft exhales escaping his nose and the tight grasp of his arms around you, you fell asleep in the arms of the man that you were madly in love with. The man that could turn any rough day, good.

[uwumessenger]

I saw you watched Haikyuu and played Obey Me. I was wondering what the demon brothers think of an MC that plays volleyball? You can pick what position they play. Keep up the great work💕💖

ooo interesting ! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

i may have been just a tad bit extra with these but i also ended up keeping these more general so MC’s position on the team is whatever u as the reader want it to be~

Lucifer

confused as to why you like it but is willing to learn more about it bc ~must satisfy human to also satisfy diavolo~

he helps you start a volleyball team at RAD bc they dont have one yet

it’s co-ed for now, but later down the road there’s enough members, organization, and structure for it to be separated into boys and girls teams

he’s sure to hold a straight face when you talk to him about volleyball or when he watches you play but is fanboying big time on the inside hehe

doesn’t understand the game but makes an effort to understand it, though he acts like he knows a lot about it when hes around you

secretly goes into the human world to watch the olympic volleyball team 

ends up becoming the manager for the team

kinda aggressive, the coach has to make him step outside sometimes

when you return to the human world he is sure to keep the RAD team intact

also is sure to attend all of your games no matter what

at first he is super chill but eventually turns into a very loud and passionate fan of your team LOL

Mammon

he doesnt make an effort to understand the game on his own time. learns how it works by watching you and your games (ngl that’s how i learned too)

also picks up insight on volleyball whenever he listens to you talk about it

acts bored during those conversations but his brain is taking lots of mental notes bc it’s something you really like

ends up never fully understanding how it works but knows enough about volleyball to gAMBLE

definitely forces levi to make bets with him, but he always supports your team when doing so

will try to give you tips and find ways to cheat for you to win or do better

and he knows that you wont actually do what he says but finds it funny when you do something ridiculous during practice out of the blue

when you go back to the human world he still bothers you with out-of-this-world pointers

if he cant make it to one of your games (usually bc he has no way to get to the human world) he will record his reactions and commentary then send it to you

totally didnt steal that idea from levi

Levi

he has probably watched the demon-anime-equivalent of haikyuu!!

understands the game very well bc of that

but since the game is super over-exaggerated in the anime hes lowkey disappointed when he watches a real game (is even more disappointed when he watches humans play bc they’re not as powerful as demons)

so he likes to try out the moves he sees in the anime with you and mammon when you’re practicing on your own time

when it’s a game day he’s dressed head to toe in your team’s merch, ready to cheer you on!

of course, at first he doesn’t wanna go bc ew crowds ew major social setting ew oTHER BEINGS

cheers very passionately and puts other cheer squads to shame with his energy

livestreams EVERYTHING and by everything i mean only your plays and lowkey irritates the others bc he constantly interviews them

when you go back to the human world he always records his reactions and commentary, sometimes with mammon or asmo, and SPAMS you with them

but he gets to go to your games most of the time and never forgets his fans and glow sticks!!

Satan

immediately studies the game and its culture

he asks you questions and is openly curious about it around you

you demonstrate how the different positions work but go in depth on your position specifically

when he watches you his eyes are literally sparkling lol

he thinks it’s super cool that he’s learning about a real human sport from you

eventually becomes a manager for the team like lucifer, and takes lots of notes about what he observes, and his input becomes valuable and crucial to the team

rare moment when they get along but definitely fight for the bench when it comes to really big games

also likes practicing with you when you need independent practice before a big game or tournament bc of how serious and intense he can be

when watching your games in the human world he still takes notes and shares them with you as well as the RAD team

will bring numerous stress balls to squeeze to those games just in case so he doesnt um kill the ref or opposing team if they piss him off

Asmo

simply wants to know if people who play volleyball are as good looking as you ;)

he doesnt understand why you’re into something that makes you sweaty and gross while you could be doing something else

but also thinks you’re really hot when you’re playing heheh

doesn’t really make an effort to teach himself about how the game works but he knows to cheer by reading the expressions on your face

unlike most of the others he doesnt stick around when you’re practicing

throws a lot of pre-game parties but doesnt allow anyone who supports your opposing team to join

dresses up for games like levi, but is much more stylish with it

designed the RAD team uniforms and jackets/sweatshirts

after returning to the human world he secretly designs new swag for your team and is overjoyed when you guys use it !!

sometimes he watches your games with levi and sends you a cute selfie when you score a point

Beel

excited bc it’s a SPORT

can talk about it with you for h o u r s. he’s really curious about how you play!

lots of working out and practicing together, mainly focuses on helping with your stamina

really good at blocking tbh so if you’re into spiking like hinata he’s a great person to practice with

doesn’t show up to all of your practices bc he has his own team sport to focus on but will sneak a peek every now and then to see how you’re doing

since it’s not a sport that has weight/height classes he doesnt understand when you diet every now and then in addition to your training

but he always goes to the games to cheer you on with the others since you always pull up to his

when it comes time to go back to the human world he promises to attend as many of your games as he can

and he does!! if he cant go it’s for a legitimate reason

even while you’re apart he’s still very encouraging and admires your skill and perseverance

Belphie

wonders how you have the energy to play such an intense game, especially since there’s really no strict time limit like taekwondo

but he does make an effort to understand how the game works so he can keep up with you when you talk about your practices or games

watches the demon-anime-equivalent of haikyuu with levi to understand it more

goes to your practices every now and then and will fall asleep sometimes, unless it’s a super intense practice game, then he’ll watch

he thinks you’re really fun to watch in action, and attends all your games

makes sure you’re always well rested and that you don’t overwork yourself no matter what

even when you go back to the human world he checks in on you when he knows you have games or long practice days

also he has 10/10 fallen asleep while snuggling a volleyball and thinking of you. so YAYAYAY congrats, MC, he associates you w/ volleyballs and thinks they’re comforting until he watches a game and sees you get hit hARD in the face

[kirishwima]

Sorry I sent you the same ask earlier but I'd rather it be anon! How about RFA + Saeran headcanons with a professional dancer MC? Like dancing that's a bit more "close" like tango. How do they feel about her career and do they ever get jealous? Or do they just see it as her job? How do they feel about her dancing partner? (Assuming her dance partner is just a really cool standup guy who respects his partner's relationship)

so, quick funny story: i signed up for a dance class last semester as an EC, thinking it’d be fun workout dances like zumba...turns out no,  me and my other 3 friends signed up for a classical dance class where each girl had signed up with her boyfriend, so people just assumed we were 2 lesbian couples for the whole semester lmaoanyway that’s just to say-i got u covered with this headcanon lmao

YOOSUNG:

* When MC told him about their profession he was really excited! He immediatly went to youtube to watch some of MC’s competition videos, ready to whole-heartedly support her work

* Even though MC told him she focused more on latin and classical dances, and that she had a dance partner, Yoosung didn’t really put two and two together until he clicked on a video of her performing a waltz with her dance partner

* Seeing her so close to him, his leg nearly slipping between her thighs as he held her close by the waist and whirled her around the stage...Yoosung couldn’t help the jealousy churning in his gut, but more than that, he couldn’t help but compare himself to MC’s dance partner-imagining how different it’d be if he were the one dancing with her, his guilty jealousy mixing with his insecurities into a sticky concoction that made his chest heavy.

* He wouldn’t upright tell MC he was angry or jealous-but MC’s no fool. If she came home to Yoosung giving her the cold shoulder, she’d understand where that’s coming from and sit down with him to talk.

* Honestly, all Yoosung needs to hear is that she and her dance partner are simply good friends and colleagues, and that she’s in love with Yoosung, no one else.

* Having Yoosung meet her dance partner would also help-and whilst Yoosung’s jealousy may never fully go away, it’ll mellow out, and he’ll simply be glad to see MC enjoying her work, and you can be dang sure he’ll be there for her 100%, supporting her in each competition and recital.

ZEN:

* Whilst he’s a very, VERY jealous guy, he’s also a professional, so he’s actually quite calm when MC explains her profession and how she has a dance partner.

* Zen would insist on meeting this guy, wanting to be certain he has no ulterior motives dancing with MC-he’d never be rude to the guy, but he’d be a little stiff at first.

* Once he understands that he’s a standup guy that simply views MC as a friend and colleague, Zen will be more than satisfied. After all it’d be ironic for him to make a fuss when MC never fusses over him having romantic scenes with other actors, now wouldn’t it?

* He’s very supportive, and actually helps MC practice some dance moves whilst at home!

* He doesn’t really know much about classical dances, but he’s had some lessons before so he knows the basics at least, and if it comes to alternative dances or latin ones, he’s definitely good at them

* Besides...he’ll never pass up on an opprotunity to hold MC close to him, sliding his hands onto her hips as they sway together along to the music *wink wonk* 

* Just a supportive boyfriend really, plus, he’d totally gush about his fantastic dancer girlfriend on his social media lol~

JAEHEE:

* She’s honestly probably the only one to not be jealous...at all

* She finds MC’s profession wonderful, and is super supportive-as much as she is with Zen’s carreer!! Will never miss a competition or show if she can help it, and will even help MC practice at home as much as she can-even though when MC gets super close to her to practice some moves she’ll get really flustered about it lol

* The only thing that might bother her is that MC seems so graceful thanks to her years of dance training, that Jaehee wonders if MC feels that she’s too ungraceful. When she brings that up to MC though and MC furiously denies it, saying she loves Jaehee as she is and that she’s wonderful, then even that worry completely disissipates, and all that’s left is genuine excitement and support.

* She does want to meet MC’s dance partner eventually, if only to also congratulate him on their successful career; and if she finds out he’s a nice and kind guy she’ll be happy he’s MC’s friends (and hopefully hers too!)

* Honestly though...just imagine a lazy afternoon with Jaehee, the sun’s lower in the sky but still peeking through the curtains, illumianting dust particles in the air, Jaehee’s brewing coffee as MC chooses a dance track to play on her phone connected to a speaker, and as the music starts she sneakily comes up behind Jaehee, wrapping her hands around Jaehee’s waist, swaying them both to the beat. Jaehee laughs, her cheeks red as she turns around to kiss the corner of MC’s lips, when MC finds the opprotunity to take Jaehee by the waist and swirl her around, dancing with her in the living room, only instead of proper dance steps they just sway each other around, giggling every time they step over one another.

* im sORRY im a useless bisexual that dreams of having a girlfriend to do this with ok, let me live T-T

JUMIN:

* He’s actually a very posessive guy, and has been fully trained in classical dances, so when MC tells him about her profession and her dance partner, he sits there with his arms crossed over his chest, a frown on his lips.

* “And this dance partner of yours...how did you meet him? How long do you know each other? Is he in a romantic relationship? Has he ever expressed interest in you that goes beyond friendship?”

* It’ll take a while for MC to calm him down and will require yet another discussion about boundaries and posessiveness-while it can be cute to be jealous sometimes, obsessing over the other person isn’t, and Jumin never wants MC to feel that he’s pressuring her or being over-protective; so he’ll apologize, but ask to meet this dance partner, if only to ease his worries.

* Turns out the guy is not only a really respectful dude, but he also has no romantic interest in MC, and clearly says so to Jumin-mainly bc the poor guy’s terrified of the cold stare Jumin pins him with lmao

* Other than that, Jumin is fully supportive, and will never miss a show MC puts up for anything in the world-though sometimes he’ll bring Elizabeth the 3d with him so she too can experience the grace of dance lol

* He’ll oftentimes ask MC to dance with him, be it in buisness parties or simply during lazy mornings at home, happy for any excuse that lets him hold MC this close to him. 

* He’s actually an amazing dance partner, and MC will ask him to help her practice new steps from time to time when he’s at home

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG/LUCIEL:

* Of course he already knew about her profession since he did a background check and all, and he knew about her dance partner too-he even did a background check on him, back when he was trying to figure out who the hacker is, in case he might be the guy they’re looking for.

* He finds MC to be so, so graceful, and seiing her dance up close is a blessing; he really thinks she looks weightless in those moments, even more beautiful than usual as she seems to genially enjoy her time dancing

* He’s not of much help, but he loves grabbing MC and twirling her around when music plays, and even with no music playing, he’ll hum a tune himself, relishing in MC’s giggles as he holds her close to him

* They’re that adorable silly couple that dances around in their pyjamas whilst making breakfast, ending the little dance session with a kiss and the sound of laughter echoing across the house. 

* He can’t always make it to MC’s shows due to his job, but he’ll hack into the cameras of the theatre later on to make a DVD out of her preformance to watch at home later on-sometimes MC will join him in watching so she can take note of things she’d like to change or improve.

* When it comes to jelaousy, it’s true that Saeyoung does feel a pang of it when he sees the chemistry she and her dance partner have when they dance; but it’s not hard to notice when Saeyoung feels this way, and a kiss to his cheek followed by an ‘I love you’ can melt the negative feeling straight off of his body.

V/JIHYUN:

* He too finds MC being a dancer amazing, and is absoloutely supportive-he honestly not once even felt a tange of jealousy at her closeness to her dance partner, he was simply and whole-heartedly supportive and excited for her carreer. 

* He’d shyly ask if he could observe some of her practices to draw some sketches-it’s the best chance to study things like the line of action, and how a motion sketch can then be transferred into a full proper painting.

* Even though he’s pretty much given up on photography and switched to painting instead, he’d love to sneak some photographs of MC when she’s practicing her steps around the house; if MC notices him and asks him to join her in dancing he’ll turn bright red, insisting he can’t possibly match her, a professional dancer, when it came to dancing

* And yet he’d be yet again underestimating himself; he’s had dance lessons ever since he was a kid up until his late teens, so sure, he’s not a professional or anything, but he’s no novice either, and with some effort he can absoloutely keep up with MC

* This leads to frequent impromptu dance sessions around the house-Jihyun hates silence so there’s always music playing across the house, and MC will never waste an opprotunity to take a hold of Jihyun’s hands, prodding him to move forward and dance with her; she’ll have to guide his hands to her hips as he’d be too shy to do it himself at first, but once she gets him into it he’ll let himself relax, holding her close as they move to the beat, smiling as he leans his head to the crook of her neck.

* Just picture this: It’s early morning, Jihyun’s wearing his hair in a low ponytail as he’s setting down cups of coffee on the kitchen table, when a song MC loves comes up on the radio. He turns to her with a sheepish smile, knowing exactly what she’ll do-still in their pyjamas, MC runs around the table to Jihyun with an excited grin, grabbing his wrists as he lets her take the lead, letting her pace their first steps before he gets the hang of it and starts leading the dance instead; his movements are smooth and effortless, and he even dips MC down at the end, his hand on the small of her back, his one leg between her thighs as he supports her weight with one hand. He’ll smile, big and toothy and so unlike the usual poised Jihyun, giving MC a quick kiss before laughing and getting back up to give her her mug of coffee, taking a long sip from his to hide his blush in the bitter flavor.

* I have Big V Feels I’m Sorry :’)

SAERAN/RAY/UNKNOWN:

* He too knew all about MC and her profession from his background check before he brought her to Mint Eye; he didn’t think much of her dance partner at first, but as he started to develop feelings for her this jealousy grew and grew in him.

* While at Mint Eye he’d constantly ask MC questions about her dance partner, if they were close, if she liked him e.t.c.

* But everytime MC told him she likes Ray/Saeran, the jealousy would melt away, replaced by a deep infatuation instead

* After the whole Mint Eye ordeal and during his recovery, he’d love to watch videos of MC’s past competitions, and would never miss the chance to watch her dance up close; he’d never ask himself, but if she invited him to come to any of her practices he’d be more than thrilled, quietly observing her movements with an excited interest.

* It’d take a LOT of courage from him, but he’d eventually come up to MC, his cheeks red as he looked down and away from her. “I um-I’ve never-I never learnt to dance. And seeing you look so graceful I-”

* “Of course I’ll teach you Saeran!” she’d giddily agree before he could continue, and he’d be so shocked but happy-he genially wants to learn!

* She’d teach him some of the basics at first, but then during off season she’d bring him with her to practices so that her dance partner can teach her some things too since the steps are different for men and women in classical dances.

* He’d furiously blush everytime he danced with MC, biting his lip when she’d tell him to move closer to her.

* “Saeran you chest has to be as close to mine as possible-no, closer than this. Closer!” she instructed as she held his hands in hers, her chest flush to his as he slowly backed away embarassed.

* As he got bolder though....

* “Saeran, come closer than this.” 

* Well MC, if you insist...he took a hold of her hands, tugging her forward to him-before she could tumble over he slid a leg between hers, letting her head fall onto his chest, and before she could look up and speak, he’d lean down to kiss her.

* “Is this close enough?” he asks with a smirk and at that moment MC knew. She knew she’s created a Monster

* But she wouldn’t have it any other way ;)

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions!-

-masterpost-

[maih-em]

Endeavour Fandom Meme tagged by @bryndeavour and @petersjakes thank u!

Top 5 Episodes

Pilot will always have a special place in my heart. Fugue is just Very Good and one that I’ll often turn to if I want to watch an episode. Nocturne – idk why this one’s on the list but I just really like it? I can’t really pinpoint any particular reason but I really vibe with the aesthetic. Canticle is great for so many reasons it has a good aesthetic and I love nick wilding. Deguello is just so satisfying??? As a conclusion not only to the whole of series 6 but series 5 as well, it really gets me – all of them coming together at the end after drifting apart in various directions all series? THAT’S exactly what I want TV to make me feel.

And also, Icarus needs a shoutout for being the only piece of TV that’s ever made me properly cry. Like I was sobbing for at LEAST half an hour props to Russell Lewis for making me feel An Emotion. & Neverland because I love it but I can’t rewatch it bc it’s too stressful

EDIT: idk why i immediately discounted neverland & icarus from the list for being to sad? like yeah i’d die if i rewatched it but neverland is great and the peter jakes character development is Important

Seasons in Order of Preference (or tops)

S3, S1, S4, S6, S5, S2, S7. This was so hard to do bc I like all of them? Like I don’t hate S2 AT ALL, but I just couldn’t put it in front of S5&6 because they have such good underlying plot. S3 and S1 have the most episodes that I gravitate to, and S4 idk it has great vibes although Harvest is a really unsatisfying ending. And I don’t specifically dislike S7, but the individual episodes are too intertwined to enjoy them individually which is something I prefer in a series. Also, it’s way too stressful.

Favourite Scene(s)

100% the end of Deguello as I said above. And Arcadia with Morse and Jakes in the mineshaft. Also in S6 when Box is being a dick to Joan and then Thursday comes up and introduces her as his daughter and Box shits bricks -- POETIC CINEMA.

EDIT: also i’ve just remembered when box is parked on a double yellow and trewlove says they’re going to stand out like a couple of spare pricks and george just smILES AT HER hhhhh

I have to say for bisexual reasons: the kiss scene at the end of Raga is just *chef’s kiss* and also Morse and Nick in Canticle in the enchanted place or whatever it was called and the almost-kiss in the pilot with Rosalind calloway.

Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

I have to say Jennifer Sometimes because it genuinely SLAPS. Like I have it on my Spotify for actual non-endeavour-related reasons, it’s just such a tune.

Also, the theme tune. It makes me FEEL THINGS. And I associate it with all the emotions I feel at the end of an episode because obvs it comes in at the end, so I feel like everything I feel about the show as a whole is tied up in that music???

Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

Anything that’s sunny and summery – immediately what comes to mind is Canticle, Arcadia and Harvest. I’m probably slightly misremembering them but in my head they’re just warm and golden and lens flares and sunshine the vibes are just immaculate.

Favourite Ensemble Character that isn't Morse

You mean I have to CHOOSE?? I have to say Peter Jakes but that’s mainly because I write him so often I think. Like I absolutely ADORE him but mainly the version of him in fanfics. If I took jakes out of the equation, I’d pick either Frazil or Bright? Bright just has such good vibes and especially in s6&7 and Frazil is an ICON.

Favourite One-episode Character

Automatically I want to say nick wilding but that’s 95% just because he’s really fucking fit. I quite like the vicar in Girl and also Anthony Donn (but only because I love Sam Barnett)

Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

S3 is my favourite hair because it’s messier. In terms of a whole look either his red jumper in Ride or any of the casual decorating outfits he wears in S7. And the uniform in S6.

Biggest Disappointment

This is a common opinion but all the women are treated like shit and I don’t vibe with it. I was starting to plan a fic recently and I made a list of characters who don’t get a super big role in the show who I wanted to specifically use more because I love them and then I realised literally all of them are women? Yikes. Joan is treated like shit, Monica is treated like shit, Frazil is an icon but 90% of her interactions are just to further Morse’s development, Violetta again is only there for the sake of Morse, and Trewlove is side-lined so much too (I read in an interview somewhere that Dakota blue Richards actually had to press at some points to get Trewlove a more valuable role in the plot so I don’t even want to know how invisible they made her in the original script).

Also, it could be gayer. Like that’s just bc I’m gay, but I just want some rep that’s more than 2 or 3 off-screen gays/lesbians. I get it’s the 60s, but other shows manage it it’s not that hard to make one (1) rounded LGBT character in a loving relationship.

Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

This is not spicy at ALL, but I love how shippable literally any character is. Morse and someone he met briefly in one episode? Yep. Two people who would completely hate each other in the canon? Go for it. Two characters who’ve never met? Sure why not? Morse has absolutely slept with all of his friends.

Oh and Jim is the rat king.

Free Space! (Make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

Fancy and Box are boyfriends.

(I’m currently writing a camping trip fic for them which I’ll probs post today or tomorrow. Also Lewis Peek recently tweeted that he wants to dye his hair blue and now I’m so tempted to have Box dye George’s hair blue)

I’m going to tag @eau1636 @booking--it @parvasilvi @dragonslover98 @dangerously-human and anyone else who wants to!

[deacied]

For your song thing, alone together by fall out boy with ben please :)

summary: i wrote this mainly based upon the chorus bc fob has so many little inserts through all their songs smh anyway ben hardy + alone together

or the one where you lose everything but gain him

warnings: none

word count: 855 she smol

     ben had left without a moment’s notice, frankie in tow, and a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. he had awoken in a start at one in the morning for no apparent reason other than his heart racing and a get out! get out! voice yelping in his head. sometimes he just needed to go (he couldn’t deny that he was grateful to have the resources to do so) and off the man went with his dog. they could drive forever, in any which direction for however long they so chose. 

     you, on the other hand, hadn’t left home without the niceties that he had. tear tracks were stained upon your cheeks showing evidence of the horrid fight you had had with your mother over something that seemed not to matter in the slightest at the time. your backpack was packed with a month’s worth of things before you started towards the bus station. it wasn’t too far– there wasn’t much sense in paying an uber to take you the short distance only to pay the bus god knows how much for wherever you planned on going.

     the clock rolled over to two am when it started raining, you cursing under your breath and tugging the hood up over your head. not like it did much, if anything, but hey, you tried. lights of passing cars briefly illuminate your figure however as one starts to slow next to you, you can’t help the surge of anxiety that presents itself deeply rooted into your bones. if i get killed, my mom is going to fucking kill me ran through your head on a loop. “d’you want a ride?” calls a masculine voice to you, and though you have half of a heart to ignore the man and dart off into the trees beside you out of fear, you spare a glance to the owner of the voice.

     a beagle has its head out of the cracked window, pawing excitedly at the sight of a new person. she has your heart warming up almost instantaneously. your eyes drift to the man finally, bright green eyes still laced with tiredness, tousled blond curls going in every way it possibly could have gone. he looked strong, you gather from a glance to his biceps, but not dangerous. it takes another solid 30 seconds of the pouring rain for you to realize you haven’t said anything at all, hardly even acknowledged that the man had spoken to you let alone answering him verbally. his brows raise and you find yourself nodding, the male grabbing the dog and setting her in the backseat much to her yipping in annoyance. once in the vehicle with your bag tucked between your knees, you turn to face him slightly. “i’m y/n, and i don’t know where i’m going. but i.. i just needed to go.”

     “ben,” he offers softly before the trio are off and driving once more. his heart aches for the opposite beside him for feeling the exact same thing that he had felt much more dramatically just hours ago.

     the ride is long on the highway, ben and y/n taking the time to ask each other questions, sing along to the music he played and get some snacks at one point. his questions of your family “i’m  in college— er, was in college so i stayed with them” and yours of his need to leave “my job, i love it, it just gets so stressful.. i feel like i’m trapped sometimes” give you assurance that he could end up being a good friend out of all of this. it makes the horrendous hours before feel like eons away. your heart can’t deny the pleasant feeling that dwells when ben’s eyes crinkle up, disappearing with his booming laughter, or his brows furrowing in concentration as he glances around the exits for gas stations or restaurants. 

     during one snack stop, you finally power your phone back on to see many missed calls from your parents. ben hops back in the car as you’re on the phone with your mother. “i don’t think i’m coming home.” your brows furrow with the statement, only just realizing it yourself. you instantly wince at the screamfest that she starts at the fact, hurriedly hanging up on her and turning her phone off once more. “sorry about that,” you murmur, cheeks aflame with embarrassment.

     it’s nearly nine in the morning when your eyes start dropping, peeking over at ben to see the circles under his eyes have darkened. “wanna go halfsies on a motel room? you look like you’re gonna fall asleep.” ben didn’t take much convincing before you were pulling into a seedy motel 6 and asking about a double bedroom. collapsing onto the bed and ben doing the same on his, frankie makes her peace at the foot of ben’s bed. 

     you wake up before him feeling well rested though a twinge of pain yanks at your heart. you grab the pen and paper off of the desk, leaving your number and a little note: check in with me tomorrow, if you don’t wake up dead x

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Tomorrow Never Came PT. 7

A direct continuation of Part 6, with a few hour’s jump. Now that you’ve become closer to Roger than ever, you start to see obstacles - not just Freddie, but real, legitimate obstacles that could threaten your safety, as well as Roger’s safety. Now that feelings are involved, you have a lot of choices to make, and they all need to be made quickly before things can get worse.

Read PT. 1 here | Read PT. 2 here | Read PT. 3 here | Read PT. 4 here | Read PT. 5 here | Read PT. 6 here

(a/n: this one is so convoluted and i didn’t get the chance to proofread hsksjdfkdsl sorry anyways here’s some fluff and angst and EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN besides smut srry. also thoroughly embarrassed bc my Cristalle imagine comes up on google images if you search through Roger Taylor images enough fml)

As much as Roger didn’t want Freddie to catch the two of you in the compromising situation you were currently in, he couldn’t seem to make himself leave you, much less wake you up. You were serene, unbothered, and truly at your most vulnerable state right now, still deep in sleep as the early morning light filtered in through the window. It was partially blocked by Roger’s shadow, but the light that did hit your face made your skin look ethereal, and before he could help himself, he was reaching out to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing over the bandaid on the side of your face once again.

From the back of your throat came a quiet confused noise as you blinked sleepily, not really sure where you were. But the smell of Roger’s cologne on his wrist was all-too-familiar, and you smiled softly as you kept your eyes closed, nuzzling into his hand. An affectionate smile crossed his face for a moment, which scared him more than anything, so he quickly erased it and put on a much more amused front as you yawned, covering your mouth. “Why are you touching my bandaid?” you murmured, nudging his wrist with your nose before slowly opening your eyes fully.

“Think you look kind of cute with it, honestly,” he replied softly, holding back a wide grin as your cheeks turned a light, rosy color. As he admired your bashful expression, he could feel the beginnings of a headache creeping on, but it wasn’t threateningly bad, so he ignored it for the most part.

“Glad my cuts and bruises are cute to you.” With that, you stretched, reaching over your head and using the headboard to stretch out completely. Roger shifted slightly and the blanket slid down so that your chest was revealed, the curve of your breasts and the soft expanse of skin also glowing under the soft morning light. Roger could hardly keep his eyes off of you, the female body still a marvel to him after all these years – and yours was even more marvelous, in his opinion.

“Suppose Freddie will be back soon?” Roger asked, wincing slightly as the sleepy demeanor wore off and you started to look worried. The few moments of otherworldly bliss were over, and it was back to reality again.

“What day is it?” you asked, sitting up and leaning over him to check the calendar across the room. He laid back to allow you, and you sighed in relief, slumping down into a laying position on Roger’s chest. “It’s my day off.”

“Day off. Good,” Roger repeated, moving a hand to your hair and pulling it over one shoulder as he hummed, mainly to himself. You relaxed into his touch, closing your eyes again and pressing your cheek against his torso. Almost dozing back off on him again, you draped your arm lazily across his abdomen, forgetting the whole world and your mission for the time being. Right now, you were living for yourself, and as selfish as it felt, you couldn’t feel too bad with Roger’s hand running through your hair.

When his hand moved to your back to rub it, you made another happy noise and moved your hand to his side, yawning again. “I suppose we have to get up sometime, yeah?”

“Sometime,” he confirmed, sighing at the thought. “Freddie’s going to kill me. And then he’ll probably disown you.”

“M’not afraid of Freddie,” you mumbled, although your voice betrayed you and showed at least some concern. So, Roger sat up, pulling you with him despite your reluctance, and he crawled out of bed, picking up his boxers and pulling them on as you watched. You were fully stretched out across the bed, laying on your side with your head propped up on arm, the other hand covering your mouth as you yawned.

Roger’s eyes wandered over your body for a moment before he came back to the bed, offering you his shirt, which you pulled on without a word as you stood up, stretching. After that, he listened as you padded back out to the lounge, your bare feet scuffing against the rough hardwood in the hallway before meeting the shag carpet again.

“Lord, help me,” Roger mumbled as he looked at himself in the mirror, recapping the night’s events in his head for a moment. What had he done? What if he’d scared you away, and you were going to move out and leave them hanging again? The thoughts of the repercussions for what he’d done were terrifying to him, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Something akin to affection blossomed in his chest, and he struggled to choke it down as he ran a hand back through his hair, pulling it away from his face and revealing a glow that only young love (and a good shag) could supply.

As he joined you in the main part of the apartment, he found that you’d changed into your own pajamas, his shirt hanging over the back of a chair, and you were in the kitchen, making tea and pulling out some food to make for breakfast.

“Do you want bacon and eggs or sausage and eggs?” you asked when you heard him come in, and he stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at you with an odd smile when you turned to him. “Jesus, you look like the Joker. Bacon or sausage?”

“Bacon,” he finally replied, chuckling at the Joker comment. “Sorry, I was just admiring.”

“Admiring my-“

“Oh, fuck me!” you heard Freddie groan from the front hallway as he came crashing in, his fingers tangled into his hair as he nursed a headache. When he came around the corner into the kitchen, he nearly moaned in delight as he saw the kettle on the stove, and a package of bacon near it. “You’re a saint, Y/N.” When neither of you replied, Freddie sat down at the table, burying his face in his hands for a moment before looking up at Roger through his fingers, slightly narrowing his eyes. “Do you think Y/N wants to see you walking around with your cock out, Rog? Put some pants on.”

Freddie then resumed his face-buried-in-hands situation, and you held in a laugh as you looked at Roger, quickly glancing at his boxers and sending him a pointed look. He rolled his eyes, mouthing the word “Wanker” before he was off to his bedroom again, returning in a moment with some trackpants and his shirt on.

“Sorry you had to see that, dear,” Freddie apologized, and you turned your back to him as you hid a huge grin, wanting desperately to say something, but knowing Freddie would be livid if he knew. “Roger doesn’t have boundaries, obviously… Why is there a bandaid on your face?” You froze up a bit at the question, which you should have expected, and you felt both of their gazes burning into your back as you came up with a quick, lame excuse.

“Fell up the stairs,” you mumbled, pulling the kettle off the heat once it was whistling and biting your lip to subdue the grin that was peeking out while you put some tea in to steep. “How’s your head?” you asked, changing the subject as you brought the kettle and tea cups over to the table, sitting the kettle on a heat-resistant oven pad. When Roger came over with the sugar and cream, you thanked him with a small smile and sat them down on the table, his eyes following you when you headed back to the stove to make some bacon and eggs.

“Horrible,” Freddie muttered, starting to make his tea and sighing. “Left with Mary to go to the club, don’t remember getting to the club, and I don’t remember ending up at Brian’s.”

“You went to Brian’s?” Roger snorted, sitting across the table from Freddie and crossing his arms. “What, is Bri your new favorite now? You two can’t even be in the same room for more than two seconds without lunging at each other’s throats.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk!” Freddie shot back, flipping him off as he stirred his tea and tried to ignore the bright light now coming in through the window. “As much as you and Brian go at each other, you’d think you had a crush on the man.”

“Ugh, yeah, love Brian to pieces,” Roger remarked sarcastically, rolling his eyes as you shook your head and laughed, pulling down a couple of plates from the cupboard. “His skeleton build makes me harder than year 11 maths. Wonder if he notices me too.”

Freddie snorted into his tea, nearly spilling it and covering his face before grabbing Roger’s shirt that was hanging over the chair and wiping off the liquid that had hit his nose. Giggling softly, you finished the bacon and eggs, then brought them over to the table while the two of them went back and forth about the night before, Freddie finally asking where Roger ended up.

“I came back here,” Roger admitted, taking some of the bacon off of the plate and getting himself an egg as you sat between the two of them, giving Roger a questioning look. As Freddie focused on his bacon, Roger shook his head. “Passed out in my boxers. Thank god for Tylenol.”

“I know what you mean,” Freddie groaned, none the wiser, and then you were all eating, the room significantly quieting. The only sound came in from outside, people chattering cheerily on the sidewalk and dogs intermittently barking, the usual sounds that came with the area. But one of the sounds in particular made your blood run cold. The church bells started ringing, and you narrowed your eyes as you stared down at your plate, which was only half-eaten. The appetite you’d had moments ago vanished, and you got an intrigued look from Roger, but he said nothing of it.

When you got up to clear your place, Freddie was again oblivious to the secrecy surrounding you, but he did note that you were a bit off. When he raised his eyebrow in question, you sent him a small smile and shook your head. “Just not as hungry as I thought. I’m going to go out for a moment, need a smoke.”

With that, you took your plate to the sink and finished off your tea quickly, grabbing Roger’s cigarettes from the counter and making sure you grabbed the lighter from his room before you climbed out onto the fire escape just outside his window. Settling yourself in and sitting cross-legged in the far corner where Freddie or Roger wouldn’t be able to see you, you leaned back against the bars and just watched the church, flipping an unlit cigarette between your fingers absentmindedly.

Things were a whole lot more complicated now. You and Roger had sex, there was no denying it, no avoiding the truth. A painful realization was settling in, one that let you know you adored Roger to the point where you couldn’t see a future without him – his laugh, the way he smiled when he did so, those beautiful, inquisitive blue eyes, that maddening sense of intelligence that he masked with an innocent, jesting demeanor.

But this was your mom’s life you were talking about – you were at the helm of it, in charge of a decision that meant either prosperity or ruination for her, and you had to remember that you were here for her, not for your own selfish purposes. Roger’s attention was making you lose focus.

 You caught a glimpse of William and Ted, greeting people on the steps of the church, and a faint buzzing noise started taking over your hearing, steadily growing until it nearly drove you mad, like a hive of bees was inside your brain.

Injure them? Kill them? Gruesome images started conjuring themselves up in your brain, ones that ended in their death or hospitalization, and you were perplexed by these thoughts. But what could you do? Sit here, day after day, knowing that they were leering after your mom, planning an assault that would leave her scarred for the rest of her life?

And if you did kill them, as horrifying as it was, you could stay here. The thought was slowly occurring to you that you enjoyed your life here quite a bit more than you did your future. Sure, it was redundant sometimes, but you could enroll in school, or start helping with Queen – Lord knows they’d need a lot of help in a few year’s time. Besides, the past would be changed enough for your mom that she could maybe have a boy instead of you, or another girl that wouldn’t have to suffer the same fate as you, wouldn’t it? 

Your life back in 2018 was rough – beyond rough, actually – and maybe you’d done enough here to warrant just spending the rest of your life with Roger. Not seeing your mom anymore would be tough, but it would be enough to know that she was safe from those monsters and not living the nightmare she currently was day to day.

Currently? Could you even use that when you were here? Probably not.

“You alright?” Roger’s voice pervaded your thoughts, making you jump as you snapped out of the daze, looking up at him. He’d joined you on the fire escape, walking out so he was out of the shadows, and the sunlight caught his eyes just right so that he looked like an angel staring down at you. That angel joined you promptly, sitting by your side and nicking the cigarette out of your hand before putting it between his lips and lighting it. As he took a long drag, he looked forward, then exhaled slowly before looking over at you, where you were still just watching quietly. “I asked if you’re alright?”

“Oh, yeah,” you murmured, looking away bashfully and catching the tail end of the last person walking into the church. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“Me too,” he agreed, still watching you and taking intermittent drags out of his cigarette. He seemed introspective, almost, as he looked you over, watching the way your fingers gripped the metal bar to your left, the same fingers he’d had running through his hair last night. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with that affectionate feeling in his chest again, and as much as he loathed it, he couldn’t suppress it anymore. When you looked over at him after a prolonged silence, his free hand took you by the nape of your neck, pulling you in for a dizzying kiss that tasted like cigarettes and breakfast food, an interesting combo that still managed to make you putty in his hands.

Within moments, you were kneeling between his legs, carefully avoiding his hand that still held the lit cigarette as you wrapped your arms around his neck, moving your lips in sync with his. His arm snaked around your waist, just lazily resting there as he made no attempt to deepen the kiss, so you held back too, content to just be in contact with him. And you pulled away first, after a minute or two of gentle, subdued kisses that weren’t meant to lead anywhere.

Roger’s nose brushed against yours as you pulled away, and he let go of your waist as you turned around to rest between his legs, leaning back against him and resting your head on his chest. You could hear him take a drag and hold it for a moment before releasing it, the smoke swirling around above your head and quickly getting caught up by the light breeze.

“You know, Freddie could catch us out here.” Roger was the first to break the silence, his chest rumbling against your ear as you closed your eyes, focusing on all your other senses. His voice was gentle, but there was a kind of warning tone to it that couldn’t be ignored. “He’s a hell of a grudge holder – he’d never let me live this down.”

“Just a few more minutes,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face in his shirt. It smelled of him, the faint scent of his cologne and just a bit of body odor lingering on it. Curling up your fingers, you took ahold of the back of it, holding onto him like he was your lifeline. He only rested his free hand on your head in response, his thumb lazily rifling through your hair before rubbing small circles into your scalp, a reassuring presence that almost made tears come to your eyes as he spoke again.

“Why were you so upset last night?” Letting the question linger, you mulled over your options. If you were going to go through with your own attack, should you tell him? And even if you weren’t, what was the harm? You tried to recall any moment that Dan had spoke to you about revealing your identity, but couldn’t think of anything – most likely, he hadn’t gotten as close to Roger and Freddie as you had. But he was from the 70’s – wouldn’t it have been hard to disguise himself around all of those former friends? Still, your efforts were fruitless, and you just shrugged as you sat up, opening your eyes to meet his gaze, which was scrutinizing at best.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it. But I’m okay now,” you murmured. Then, you diverted your attention down to the street, chewing on your lower lip. A queer feeling arose throughout your body, starting at the tips of your toes and rising all the way to the hairs on your head as you saw the church out of the corner of your eyes. You had to incapacitate them. It was the only way. “I’ve got to do something.”

Standing quickly, you left Roger in a bewildered state as you headed for the window. “I thought it was your day off?” he asked, but you were already crawling through, heading for the kitchen once you’d gotten into the apartment. In the kitchen, you grabbed a knife – this wasn’t you, usually, but you had no other focus besides hurting these men that had hurt your mom. They deserved every bit of pain that they caused her and more, and if that meant sticking a knife in their shoulder, then by God, you were going to do it. Then, you could be with Roger – that was, if you weren’t arrested first.

You could faintly hear Roger’s footsteps following you from far away, but you’d already shoved the knife into your waistband and headed for the hallway, deadset on the target, or targets, for that matter. Down the stairs, and then you were out on the street, crossing it, a stormy look on your face as you neared the church. And then, there he was.

Weston, on the steps of the church, staring you down with an intimidating look you’d never seen out of anyone before. “You again?” you almost spit, stopping on the sidewalk maybe ten feet in front of him as he rose to his feet, descending the stairs.

“God, it’s like I have to babysit you,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and glancing over your shoulder as Roger burst through the front door of your building, looking around wildly to find you. “You really don’t listen, do you? Go home. All of this? It’s dangerous. You’re playing with fire, and you’re going to get burned.”

“Y/N!” Roger called from across the street, finally having spotted you. When he realized you were talking to Weston, his eyebrows furrowed, and he cocked his head for a moment before starting to cross the street.

“Get out of my way,” you mumbled, pushing past Weston and starting to head up the stairs. When your hand rested on the doorknob of the church, you felt the cold metal of the knife press against your thigh, and then the sound of a car’s tires screeching and a horn honking made you whirl around and forget all about what you’d just been on the warpath for.

Weston had taken off down the street, giving you a look that said it all as Roger stood in the street, inches from a car that was laying on the horn while he stared in shock. Running back down the stairs, you cursed whatever omnipotent being responsible for this giant mess – the past was fighting back again, and this time, Roger was going to be the victim. This was a completely different ballgame altogether now.

When you got out to Roger, he was thoroughly apologizing to the driver of the car, but you cut him off in the middle of his rambling, dragging him over to the curb and back into the building as he took deep breaths, not sure what had just happen. “Jesus Christ, I just about bit the big one,” he muttered, mainly to himself, as you pulled him upstairs, trying to ignore the tears welling up in your eyes. Dan and Weston weren’t joking – now it was personal, and you had no one to blame but yourself. What were you thinking?

Once you finally got back to the apartment, Roger walked in as if in a daze while you followed, shutting the door behind the both of you and heading to the kitchen to put the knife back before Roger had the chance to see. When he rounded the corner slowly, you were already intercepting him, dragging him towards his bedroom and also shutting that door behind you before you wrapped your arms around Roger, pulling him into the tightest hug you’d ever given anyone before.

“Thank God, you’re alright.” He reciprocated the hug, burying his face in your hair, and you could tell that he was trembling just a bit, probably still on an adrenaline high as he embraced you tightly.

“I’m just glad it wasn’t you,” he mumbled, his voice still sounding as if he was in a daze of some sort, and when you pulled back from the hug a bit to look at him, the glazy look in his eyes confirmed your suspicion. Tears finally fell from the corner of your eyes, and you sucked your bottom lip in between your teeth as Roger’s eyes cleared, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to wipe away your tears with his thumbs. “No, no, don’t cry, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, I should have looked both ways, I’m blind as a bat so I didn’t see-“

“God damn it, Roger, shut up,” you choked out, laughing a bit as you tried to keep your volume down so  Freddie wouldn’t come barging in. “Are you alright, really?” you asked, sighing as you took his face in your hands so you could study his reaction.

“Well, it was a bit scary,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close as he took a shuddering breath, apparently recounting the moment. His face was conflicted, a multitude of emotions crossing it including embarrassment, before it softened. “But I was more worried about you.”

You were dumbfounded for a moment – though you had an inkling of a suspicion as to what the answer was, you still asked the simple question. “Why?”

“Because... I fancy you a lot,” he mumbled, giving you a small smile as his face reddened just a bit. It took a lot of courage on his part to just openly admit such a sappy thing, but he was feeling emotional and sentimental, so you’d caught him at just the right time.

“Oh, Rog, I like you too,” you murmured, starting to cry again, which prompted a pout from him as he pulled you flush against his chest, kissing your head.

“Please don’t cry right after I’ve told you I like you,” he begged, making a pitiful giggle escape your lips as you shook your head, realizing that whatever reservations you’d had before about telling Roger the truth were obliterated. You couldn’t keep lying to him.

“I have so much to tell you.”

PT. 1 PT. 2 PT. 3 PT. 4 PT. 5 PT. 6

taglist - @crosmopolitan @just-ladyme @rogerfxckingtaylor @fourmisfitz @shae-is-not-ok @moreinfinite @fruityfreddie @poachedhazontoast @strawberryfields-forever @imladrs @psychoticobsession @ladylannisterxo @rebelrebelyourefaceisamess @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @wanderingsami @stardvstial @iminlovewith-rogers-car @glowungeyes @mercurys-bike @mazzelloplots @beaaatle @sunshine112 @wonderless-screwup @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @siriusly-a-nerd

message me/reply to this to be added to the taglist! please specify whether permanent or this series! REQUESTS CLOSED

[hanlers-blog]

we back bitches!!! woo! your girl is hype! okay so i’m vee (she/her) and catch us flexin with this amazing group! i’m using a lot of !!! but listen i’m excited ok bc i love our kids. anyways, i’m so excited to plot with everyone (new AND the ogs i never got around to actually plotting with bc wow i’m trash) so slap that heart and we can chat on ims or discord and get wild

❛ ⋆ ․˙✰ hanler cristiano marques is graduating in a month with plans to attend Harvard university in the fall. four years completed and he is leaving the hamptons being remembered as the carouser, which makes perfect sense considering how bold, charismatic, impish, and hedonistic he is. that title landed them the senior class superlative of life of the party. you’ll know they’re around when you hear wow - post malone coming from a car this summer.  speaking of summer, i hear their plans are to spend it party his way through Europe. 

boisterous laughter and music loud enough to rattle your bones, wearing sunglasses at midnight, lazy grins, the pounding of your heart when taking a reckless dare.

you can call him anything. han. ham. han the man. 

hanler my man is the youngest of two boys

his older brother matias really is that bitch. he’s the golden boy. you know the type - good head on his shoulders, responsible, smart.. blah blah blah. while hanler was always a lot more wild and reckless and just a general pain in the ass. growing up they were all each other had and they were a team. matty made sure hanler didn’t go too off the rails and hanler made sure matty knew u just gotta break the rules sometimes

his dad is a ceo of a fortune 500 company and his mom is a hot shot lawyer at this big ass law firm that reps the richest of the rich. they are peek neglect culture

hanler’s relationship with his parents is a lot more strained then his brother’s. whenever his parents do come home it’s usually for a work function and they put on the happy family act and hanler isn’t about that. they pretty much fight 24/7 bc he does shit he knows will piss them off and they already lecture him enough as is and poor matias is always caught in the middle

tbh hanler would trade his parents in for a 24 pack but would go to war for his bro

he has a talent for getting himself into trouble but an even bigger talent for talking himself out of it

legendary party bro. throws the most legit ragers you’ve ever seen. his party game is PEEK

he’s the first person to suggest playing a round or truth or dare and almost always has the winning team in flip cup. he’s the guy who dares you to jump off the roof into the pool, only to do it himself and with flare.

born on december 31. new years eve. what an icon

he’s honestly such a guy. everything about him is loud from the way he walks to the sound of his laugh. he says bro and man more then anyone you know and when probably wears sunglasses even when it’s pitch black

he has a gold burger king crown

plot twist? he’s hella good at math and shit?? but no one know how bc he’s dumb as shit. 

he’s honestly going to harvard to study math and engineering bc it’s easy for him ?? and mainly to get his parents off his back. he doesn’t wanna pursue a career in it bc it doesn’t seem fun to him at all. he’s gonna spend most of his time partying in boston tbh and like he wants a job thats as exciting as his everyday life and sitting behind a desk all day might as well be hell on earth

he’s very easy going. he’s a chill guy. he doesn’t take things seriously, which pisses off his parents and teachers to no end but he’s just looking to have a good time. it’s not that deep bruh

though he’s not the most reliable with most things lol like don’t trust him to water ur plants or show up on time bc.. nope. but he’s a solid friend to have around. he’ll thrown down 

he’s got a scar that cuts through his right eyebrow from a nasty fall from when he was a kid and attempted to ride his skateboard down the banister staircase.

we stan a multilingual king. he speaks both spanish and portuguese.

truth? he’s the frat boy you can’t help but fall for.

[xukunstellation]

Perfect || Li Quanzhe

Title: Perfect Pairing: Reader x Quanzhe Genre: fluff Word Count: 1848 words Summary: Seeing how insecure your boyfriend is breaks your heart, so you have every intent in telling him how amazing he actually is.

A/N: You guys have no idea how soooooft Quanzhe makes me. This little hamster is literally one of the cutest beings I’ve ever laid eyes on. This request had a loooot of specific details to it, so I did my best to try and do him justice in this fic. I also tweaked the request just a little bit in order to make the fic more realistic. This ended up becoming super long, so I’m putting this under the cut. Please love and support this baby!

help

the gif for him for this fic makes me so :(((

how can someone be so cute ??

he looks so squishy i cry

so you and quanzhe have only recently started dating

you both were relatively new to the whole relationship thing

which means lots of awkward and shy moments between you two

but you both really like each other and make each other happy so it was worth it

if anything, it made you like him even more

it was a bit of a surprise that the two of you were dating to begin with due to the fact that it seemed like you and quanzhe came from two different worlds

quanzhe attended yuehua academy with his six childhood friends, who all varied in grade levels

at his school, he was what people called the “nerdy” type 

which honestly meant he excelled in his studies, usually placing at the top of his class

we love a smart boy

he was more on the quiet side and preferred to be in the shadows unlike his more exuberant friends such as justin and chengcheng

who are always teasing and pulling pranks on him jfc zhengting control your kids

not many people pay attention to quanzhe since he was literally just another face in the crowd (unless they knew him as the really smart kid from class)

but that was perfectly fine with him since all he needed was his own close knit of hooligans friends

meanwhile you attended oaca academy where you were relatively popular since you were an absolute social butterfly

in short, you were a complete ray of sunshine and positivity so people naturally flocked to you

your best friend was zuo ye who eagerly introduced you to his own group of friends (peiyao, zimo, mubo, and qin fen)

with you and zuo ye being the babies of the group, they’re always teasing the hell out of you two

but if anyone else tried to do the same, you’d better be ready to catch these hands watch out

they’re so overprotective of you

it’s all out of love tho

they were also the ones that helped get you and quanzhe together

but that’s a story for another time (hint hint) 

since you and quanzhe went to different schools, you had to find other ways to see each other

no one outside of your friend groups knew the two of you were dating, mainly because you always met up during times when not many other outsiders were around

you always showed up with food and drinks for him during his vocal and dance practices after school

his group of friends literally adore you as much as they adore himself since you’re always taking care of him

zhengting basically adopts you

congrats you earned yourself a boyfriend plus a mom and five brothers for free

quanzhe does his best to return the favor by walking you to and from school since you lived relatively close to each other

sometimes he comes over to your place to hang out or help you with your school work

the oaca boys have a tendency to show up at your house during these times no matter how hard qin fen and mubo try to stop them smh

you had to stop zuo ye and zimo from continuously pinching your boyfriend’s cheeks bc it’s lowkey annoying to him

but he lets only you get away with it bc he likes you so much

however, sometimes it was really difficult to see each other whenever your schedules didn’t line up

although texts and calls made up for some of it, you wished you got to see more of your little hamster

as luck would have it, you ended up moving to your aunt’s place in order to help her run her shop 

guess what was down the block? 

yuehua academy

so as a surprise, you decided to transfer over to yuehua academy in hopes that you were able to share some classes with your boyfriend (which you did luckily)

you peeked into your new homeroom that you knew you shared with quanzhe, scanning the room for his figure

his back was turned away from you, so you slowly crept your way to him and put a finger to your lips to hush chengcheng, justin and xinchun from shouting and giving you away

placing your hands gently over his eyes, you whispered in his ear “guess who”

quanzhe jumped in fear from the surprise attack before spinning around and staring at you with wide eyes, unable to comprehend that you were standing right in front of him

“surprise!” 

“(y-y/n)? oh my god, what are you doing here?”

“it just so happens that i go here now. are you not excited to see your girlfriend?” you pouted playfully just to tease him

activate panic mode

“no! i mean, yes! uh, i mean, i’m just really shocked that you’re here and ah-”

poor boy was about to cry omg 

you immediately hug him, wrapping your arms around his torso lovingly, “i know i know, i’m just teasing you, sweetie.”

you leaned up and kissed his cheek causing quanzhe to flush red in an instant at the pda

the three other boys were making kissy noises and hugging each other like the immature children they were smh

although you transferred in the middle of the school year, your reputation as a social butterfly at oaca continued at yuehua where you were easily able to fit in with the crowd

although you were able to make new friends, you preferred staying near the comfort of your boyfriend and his friends (who has already accepted you into the group long before)

now that you got to see him more often every day, you took the chance to be more openly affectionate with him since he was so shy and innocent-like

you knew that quanzhe wasn’t the best at showing his affection

he was always worrying about whether or not he was pushing himself onto you or if you would think he was weird for initiating something

was his hand too sweaty in yours? was it okay for him to hug you before you entered class? oh gOD YOU CAUGHT HIM STARING AND NOW YOU PROBABLY THINK HE’S CREEPY ASDSHJD

being the good significant other you were, you knew all of this so you never pressured him into acting a certain way just because you were dating

you learned to read when he was too scared to ask to hold your hand or even hug you, so you didn’t mind taking initiative

he nearly faints whenever you kiss him, even if it’s a simple peck on the cheek

you have zhengting on speed dial in case quanzhe does faint but he doesn’t know that

bc you learned to read him so well, it didn’t take long for you to notice him start to act differently around you

you noticed how his hand would falter or even pull away from yours whenever someone attractive merely glanced your way in the hallways

he would grow really quiet whenever you’re talking to zeren, wenjun or any of the other guys

you could tell his smile was forced every time someone made an off-hand comment about your relationship, usually people wondering how the “nerd” was able to date the popular chick (he always held you back from throwing hands at those people tho)

all of this worried you so you confronted him about it as you walked back home from school

“sweetie, can we talk?”

you saw him become uneasy with your words but nodded, “sure. what’s up?”

“you’ve been acting really strange lately. you’re not acting like yourself and i’m really worried. you know you can tell me whenever something is bothering you, right?”

“i’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me”

“i worry about you because i care for you, quanzhe”

those words seemed to resonate with him bc you watched as his face fell and his resolve snap in a second

“it’s just... i feel like i’m not good enough for you. you could literally have anyone in the entire school. i look at you and see how amazing you are. then i look at myself and i’m just... me. i’m not strong. i’m not assertive. i’m not very good at expressing my feelings even though i really really like you. i wish i was different so i could be enough for you. i don’t understand why you’re with me”

he looked completely heartbroken and wounded as he relayed this all to you

if you listen carefully, you could hear the sound of your heart shattering to a million pieces

“quanzhe... i didn’t realize that you had been holding this on your shoulders this entire time. i’m so sorry. i’m sorry for ever making you doubt that i don’t want to be with you or that i’ll leave you for someone better”

“but honestly, there isn’t anyone better bc you are the best. it doesn’t matter to me that you aren’t any of the things you mentioned. you care about me and i care about you, so that’s all that matters. i love every single amazing thing about you from your strengths to your flaws. you’re more than enough to me. you’re everything i need and want”

that was all it took for quanzhe to realize that you were quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to him

the following day, quanzhe asked you to help give him a little make over

although you assured him that he didn’t need to change how he looked because he was already stunning as he is, he said that the change would be good for him and his self-esteem since he’s looked the same for the longest time and he wanted something new

after agreeing, you did your best to merely enhance the handsome looks he already had rather than change anything about him

all you did was tousle his usual rounded bob into a more casual yet classy hairstyle and added a few fashionable items such as new shoes and a new jacket to add to his attire 

which you may have stolen from the oaca boys’ closets but what they don’t know won’t kill them

before you walked through the school building to get to class, you were pleasantly surprised when quanzhe confidently slipped his hand into yours and pressed his lips to your forehead sweetly

the “nerd” of the school was shy no longer

despite the differences you two had, you worked well with each other

you taught quanzhe how to be more confident in himself, constantly reminding him of all of the good he has in him

on the other hand, he never failed to make you feel loved and appreciated 

to you, quanzhe was perfect

sorry i didn’t know how to end that

it’s almost 4am and i’ve spent hours writing this

lowkey delirious rn

i apologize for any mistakes i missed

also

pls give this little hamster lots of love and support

stan li quanzhe

[yoonqisqirl]

[BTS] The Umbrella Effect - [Namjin] !M!

Read on Ao3 Genre: Main: Fluff | Sub: Smut Type: MemberxMember [MxM] Members: Jin x Namjoon | Namjin Word count: 31k+ Soundtrack: “The Umbrella Effect” OST Playlist - [X] Dedicated: @queenjunghoseok Jen my bitch bc she wanted some Top!Jin && @wheresjhope && @jcnghope THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING ♥♥♥ && @taesflower && @bangtan-tan && @megudragon && @gaystarwhales because Namjin ayeeee

Plot: Jin is Namjoon’s prince charming, his knight in shining armour, that he met on one fateful September morning, who showed him that a good romance doesn’t only exist in books.

How do you think all this started? Namjoon couldn't explain this to himself. How he woke up in the arms of a beautiful man just now, snuggling close on this December morning when just three months ago, this man had been a total stranger. Just three months ago, on an early September morning, when this beautiful stranger – a prince in shining armour – with an umbrella, saved him – the damsel in distress – and his book, from the rain that fell from the sky with a brazen assurance. It just happened.

Namjoon could have expected the rain the second the cold wind played with his hair, teasingly twisting it in all directions while he himself fought the chills that ran down his spine. But really, what else did he expect? Why would the sun shine on his day off? During September? Yeah right. Not that the weather would stop him from going out anyways.

He wanted to buy a new book for a while now. Bundles of pages and ink were already dwelling on the many shelves in his apartment, yet he wanted more. He had enough time to read. If he wasn't working, Namjoon would read. On his train ride to work, he would read. Travel by plane for a business trip? Not that that would ever happen, but he would probably read as well. Sometimes, even at work, he would read.

Hundreds of books, smiling at him every day, waiting for him to check them for blemishes before getting tossed into a box labeled 'rejects'. The former label read 'junk' but Namjoon did not like to call those books junk, just because no one wanted to read them. His co workers thought it was funny how easily he would zone out while reading those heavy lectures that made their own stomachs turn by just thinking about the amount of pages.

But on this day, this September morning, a few days before his birthday – was it two or three days? Namjoon forgot – He bought a new book. New as in 'he hasn't read it before', because the cracking leather back and yellow pages basically screamed 1963, without having to check the date in the book. The old lady at the second hand book store neatly placed the old book into a plastic bag, treating it like a treasure that she happily handed down to one of her descendants. She knew he would treat the book right. He always does.

He's been shopping at her store for so many years, rumors have it that he's the one that keeps the woman from closing the shop. “Maybe one day, you will come and give up a few books.”, she said and Namjoon smiled on his way home, thinking about how much money he could probably make by selling his books. But he didn't want to sell his books. They were too precious of a collection to him,  even if none of them were related.

Why would he give up the sight of his collection every day when he comes home? When the sun is about to set and smiles one last time at his shelves, eying his knowledge in envy. Would he give up the smell of ink and leather, as well as the sound of pages swiping beneath his fingers? No, never.

The leafs under his feet were soggy and slippery, yet they felt like they were glued onto the pavement, looking like a rather ugly patchwork carpet which has had one too many holes. Chills crept up his skin as the wind whistled after him once again. He hugged his coat closer and pulled at his scarf with his free hand. A few blocks past the train station he was headed to, there was a cafe he knew of. The weather won't change that quickly, he thought while looking at the clouds in the distance as he crossed the street to get further away from his station. The windows of several bigger shops came into view. Clothes mainly.

One small shop in between. They were selling sweets, and even though their shop window was only the size of the mirror on his wall at home, they were selling well. Past the last corner, the wind was already waiting to assault him with another blow to make him shiver, and it would have brought tears in his eyes if his hat wouldn't have blocked the cold breeze that came for him.

When his eyes met with the windows of the cafe, he saw how full it was inside. Groups of friends, sitting so close they might as well be stacked upon one another. Tired elders that used the opposite chair to rest their handbags and suitcases. Namjoon gave up on looking for a place inside, right away. All he wanted was to sit down and read. If he was lucky, the waiter would dare to go outside and ask him to order, or if he wasn't up to order, to ask him to leave.

Step by step he walked towards a table on the terrace. The terrace had no roof and it wasn't clearly separated from the streets by anything, so it looked like an extended sidewalk, which people also used as such. The cold steel frame of the cheap cafe chair almost made him draw his hand back as he pulled it back. The woven basket construct, which formed the seat and back, bend under his weight as he let himself fall down into it. The plastic bag dangled around his wrist and hit against the steel frame, giving off a >thud< sound which was muffled by the plastic bag.

After a few moments of watching the people go by while Namjoon untangled the plastic bag, he realized that he won't be served today. At least they won't send me away for not ordering anything either, he thought with a shrug and opened his copy of Doctor Glas. It was one of the first copies to be released in English – every now and again, Namjoon likes to buy a book in English to challenge himself – and it was obviously worn out.

But not from reading. The inside of the book was rather untouched. The pages weren't as yellow as the edges. Whoever owned it before him had it stored somewhere, closed, probably in a shelf without a back, with lots of sunlight shining onto it. Yet, the cover seemed to be newer than the pages. Someone must have restored it already.

As his fingers trailed over the first few pages, he felt the cold wind breathe into his neck every time someone walked past him. Hoping the chair won't break, Namjoon pressed his back deeper into the back of his seat, hugging his coat before burying his face into his scarf, just deep enough to let the eyes peek over the rim of the dark brown fabric so he could read about the fictional Swedish physician Dr. Glas.

The first few words wouldn't stay in his head, appearing like a faint whisper before they were gone again and he re-read the sentence over and over. The sound of people walking and cars driving was distracting him too much. He re-read the sentence again, and again, and another time before the noise slowly faded out and the flow of the words came to him as steady as a streaming river.

Little drops of water started to fall from the sky but his mind was too focused and his fingers too numb to notice the change of weather after the first 15 minutes of reading. Not even a minute later, the drops became thicker, faster, and Namjoon almost jumped up as he saw the ink drip down the page. His hand was grasping for the plastic bag but the wind must have carried it away while he wasn't paying attention.

His eyes shot up at the sky, curious, helpless – he wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for – but suddenly a pastel pink umbrella came into sight. He thought a kind lady or young woman was behind the gloved hand that held the handle. On further inspections, the hand did not seem to belong to a petite lady so Namjoon looked up.

When he was graced by the sight of a man as beautiful as the sunrise that kissed his bookshelves hello and goodbye every day, his jaw dropped. If Namjoon's lips wouldn't have been covered by the scarf, this would have been a little embarrassing. The stranger's dark eyes were framed by a set of half moon shaped glasses that were covered in tiny drops. His blond hair that ended just above his eyes hung wet above the red-brownish frame of his glasses. There was something in his eyes, Namjoon couldn't tell exactly what it was, it was the look of someone who just found something. Innocence, admiration, wonder. It felt like the time stopped between them while Namjoon was eying the man in front of him.

Namjoon’s gaze wandered over the other’s face, making its way down to examine his lips. Oh those lips, he thought. Looking so full and kissable soft with this pinkish tone, shaped into a tiny 'o'. With a tardy hand movement, Namjoon closed the book in his hand, hoping he wouldn't smudge the pages any more. His other hand reached to his scarf and as he got close enough to pull it down a bit, something changed in the man's facial expression. “Thank you.”, Namjoon said, “Ah- Thanks a lot! I uhm...” the stranger started to smile as Namjoon got up from his chair and thanked him with a bow. When he bend up again, he noticed that he was taller than the man, nearly hitting his head on his umbrella.

Would it be enough to thank him? He was about to go on, to tell him how much he appreciates the gesture of keeping him dry and saving his book. He wanted to tell him that he just bought the book and would be very frustrated right now if it wasn't for the pastel pink umbrella. A small chuckle escaped the stranger's lips and he suddenly seemed shy. “Ah, don't mention it, really. I'm glad to be of help.”, he replied and shook his head. - Back at this time Namjoon thought this was the end. They would say goodbye and part ways like nothing really happened - “You seemed so lost in your book, I couldn't just stand by and watch.”, he added and Namjoon's face morphed into a smile, showing off his dimples.

They always were his special charms. All his friends loved his dimples. The lady at the bookshop loved them too. She would always tell him about how he reminded her of her son who also had dimples and he would always smile just to see that look of a happy mother in her eyes. The fact that her son left her, together with her first husband, when he was still young, was only mentioned once and never talked about again.

“It would have been a shame if the book got drenched.”, Namjoon smiled and his hand found a way to get tangled in his scarf. He shook his hand to free it from the woolen mess as he continued: “I just bought it and I was really looking forward to read it.” The stranger gave him an interested smile. He wanted to listen. When this signal arrived in Namjoon's head, he couldn't stop his own mouth from talking. Not that he wanted to stop. If he would have known by then where this conversation would lead to, not right on that day, but months in the future, he would have kicked off his blanket every night in regret – but now, he did not have to regret anything.

“I was so eager to read it that I couldn't wait to get home. I even walked past my train station just to get here. Can you believe this?”, Namjoon asked and the other man laughed. Suddenly, another look was plastered on his face but Namjoon was too busy pushing back the chair to notice it. “Oh! You're headed to the train station too?”, the man asked, still carefully holding his umbrella above Namjoon, a little higher than before, who replied with a nod. “We can head there together. There's enough space under my umbrella for the both of us.”, the man suggested and Namjoon gave another bow before uttering his appreciation.

“I'm Kim Seokjin, but you can call me Jin, for short.”, the man, who just introduced himself to Namjoon while they started walking away from the cafe, said with a smile and Namjoon was quite shocked. They have just met, and he would already let him call him Jin? “I'm Kim Namjoon.”, he replied and just as he spoke his name, he realized something - “Wait, you're a 'Kim' too?”, he blurred out and Jin laughed. “You're a 'Kim' too? Ha! What a funny thing to say.”, he repeated, not answering Namjoon's question. Not that he needed to. He already confirmed that his family name was Kim.

“Are you really ok with me calling you Jin? We just met… and you seem to be older than me.”, Namjoon added after their feet carried them to the edge of the streets where they waited for the traffic light to change. “Oh really? I thought you were my age.”, Jin's reaction showed how confused he was by his misjudgment, but he wasn't ashamed or shy about it. “92?” - “94.” - “Oh you're really younger. Strange… I thought you were my age or older because of how tall you are.”, Jin uttered and the masses of people that passed by signalized both of them that the lights changed from stop to go.

They were walking close, almost wrapped around the umbrella to not walk into another person, but with a respectable space between the two of them to not make the other uncomfortable. It felt weird enough to share an umbrella and a conversation with a total stranger. “You can still call me Jin. I'm so used to people calling me Jin instead of Seokjin.”, he explained with a rather annoyed sigh at the end. “Really? Because I like the name Seokjin.”, Namjoon mumbled, partly because he did not want to be rude to someone who's older, but also because he actually liked the name Seokjin.

Saying Jin felt like one's everyday life, way too casual, walking down the street in the cold while strangers pass by, maybe giving you a glimpse or two. Seokjin however felt like sitting near a fireplace, cuddled in a blanket, with soothing music in the background and cups of tea that had just the right temperature, paired with an unknown but somehow caring feeling around you.

Namjoon couldn't tell what kind of feeling it actually was at that time. He was just much more comfortable with calling him Seokjin. Not much of a surprise, Jin preferred being called Seokjin, too, and it made him much more relaxed once Namjoon said his last words.

They passed some more shops and Seokjin suggested they share some sweets once they reached the small candy store that Namjoon walked past earlier. The inside of the store was crowded with boxes and shelves and overall not bigger than Namjoon's living room. Seokjin paid for a pack of 10 sweet cakes and gave Namjoon a sign to leave. Outside the shop, Seokjin handed his umbrella to Namjoon so the younger one could open it while he himself would open the plastic box their sweet cakes came in. When Namjoon was about to continue walking, not noticing that Jin was opening the box, Seokjin took out one of the sweet cakes and pressed it in the other's palm. Startled, Namjoon turned around and as Seokjin's hand retreated, the cake fell on the wet ground and Namjoon almost stepped onto it.

“Ah, no!”, Namjoon sighed as he picked up the soggy and dirty pastry, “I dropped it, I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to hand me one right away.” It was wiggling in his hands and almost fell apart from the water that the spongy cake soaked up. Seokjin just laughed. Despite knowing that it partly was his fault to just press it into Namjoon's hand, Seokjin couldn't help but laugh. His friends would consider him mad, laughing at a delicious cake that fell on the floor rather than mourning over the loss and being in a bad mood about it. “It's ok. We still have some more.”, Seokjin assured and took out another one while Namjoon threw away the one that fell down.

This time, he carefully reached out for it and as he was sure he wouldn't drop it again, he bowed his head and thanked Seokjin. They continued their way while eating and chatting a little more. They went from knowing each other's names and birth years to knowing each other's jobs and birthdays and hobbies. Namjoon worked in a local library and Seokjin was a waiter in a bistro at the other end of town, a few streets away from the cafe they met. A few times, they even missed the traffic light switching because of how deep they were concentrating on their conversation. Of course they did not mind at that time.

It's not like they felt uncomfortable with each other – oh no, the opposite even – so they chuckled every time they stood at a traffic light and one of them would ask “Oh wait! Did we miss the lights again?” before actually paying attention. The strangers around them were slowly starting to not bother them anymore as they kept walking and talking and while their minds were occupied with what has been said and what to say next, their bodies moved on their own, evading oncoming pedestrians even if it meant they had to almost collide with each other.

Their feet knew the way and the pace that would get them there. Another turn and then up the stairs, away from the small sidewalk that was stuffed with people and their umbrellas. The way towards the train station was short and uneven, covered in fallen leaves that made the pavement shimmer even more.

Both men had lost their sense of time as they walked and talked together, sharing the last sweet cake by breaking it in the middle. It was when a woman hurried past them on the slippery road that they noticed their train was coming in very soon. A moment of eye contact. “Should we run?”, Seokjin asked as their ears were filled with the sound of a train in the distance. “If we run we might catch it.”, Namjoon said and their pace became faster. “Well then let's hurry!”, Seokjin replied and grabbed a hold of Namjoon's hand around the umbrella, practically dragging him with him as they started running. The umbrella was straight and steady but the rain still whipped against their faces, making them squint and wipe their eyes.

They saw the train coming to a halt at the station and all of the sudden, so did they. It felt like the world was tumbling as suddenly their vision tipped over and the ground was swept away under their feet, kicking back a few loose leafs as Namjoon slipped backwards and pulled Seokjin with him. Namjoon landed on his back while Seokjin fell on his side, pushing himself up on his elbow. They let go of the pastel pink umbrella that was now somewhere behind them, tainted with mud and dirt. The men let out groans of pain as they sat up on the ground. They looked at each other, faces painted with pained expressions, but they didn't say anything. Way to go, Namjoon thought, you made both of you miss your train. You should apologize.

“Ah sorry, I shouldn't have suggested that we run.”, Seokjin suddenly uttered out of breath before Namjoon could speak up. “No, it's ok. I'm sorry for making you fall.”, he replied and helped Seokjin up after he was back on his feet himself. Namjoon quickly fetched the umbrella and wiped his hands over the dirty fabric in an attempt to clean it but he only smudged the mud along the way. Annoyed, the younger man sighed and went back to Seokjin who was holding his arm. “Seokjin, did your hurt your arm?” - “Ah, it's ok, really, don't worry. It will be over once I'm home.” Namjoon was reaching out with the umbrella so Seokjin could grab it but instead, the older one hooked his arm around Namjoon's, who got quite flustered and pulled up his scarf.

“My arm is going to be fine.”, Seokjin explained as he slowly started walking again, making Namjoon tag along, “but I think I hurt my ankle. I hope you don't mind me-” - “No, no it's fine. After all, I made you fall.”, Namjoon said a little shy as Seokjin slightly leaned on him, whispering a faint “Yeah you made me fall.”, that Namjoon barely heard. The train was departing and Seokjin let out a sigh before looking back. His expression changed from annoyance to surprise and before Namjoon turned around too, he heard Seokjin say “You dropped your book!”. Quickly, Namjoon pressed the umbrella into Jin's hand and hurried back, paying attention to where he was running so he wouldn't slip and fall again.

When he reached the book, he bend down and his back was filled with pain. With a groan he slowly picked up the book that, as if it was protected through a miracle, was not soaked in water and ruined forever. When he got back to Seokjin, who patiently waited at the spot Namjoon left him, he stuffed the book in his coat and gave away his arm to support Seokjin again. Their eyes met again and despite the many raindrops on Seokjin's half moon shaped glasses, Namjoon could see something sparkling in his eyes.

Without another word, they continued their walk towards the train station. The train was long gone by the time they got there, and so were the people waiting for it. Only the two of them stood at the platform. The rain was playing a monotonous melody on the tense fabric of the umbrella as neither of them knew what to say. Seokjin was constantly moving his leg and sometimes his movements made him twitch a little. I hope I can still go to work next week, he thought as he leaned on Namjoon who was absently staring into the distance.

The sky in the distance was grey and cloudy and it seemed like there was no end to this rain. “Today was very exciting.”, Seokjin suddenly said and Namjoon's gaze was guided by the older man's voice. “I usually just walk home from work without anything really happening.”, he continued and smiled, “but today was actually really nice. I could do that again.” - “Really?”, Namjoon asked disbelieving and just then he realized how glad he was to have spend his day with this stranger – no – with this friend. “I was having fun too… and I wouldn't mind doing that again either.”, Namjoon muttered while thinking about everything they talked. “Maybe, except the slip and fall incident.”, he quickly added with a chuckle and Seokjin sighed dramatically.

“Well if I would get to be held by you again then I wouldn't even mind that.”, Seokjin teased and Namjoon had to laugh. It wasn't a mocking laugh, not at all, it was more a surprised and flustered laugh. His dimples graced his face again and the rain seemed like it was non existent after all. Seokjin smiled at the sight of Namjoon's happy face – Namjoon still swears that when Seokjin smiled the sun came out that day – and soon the next train arrived. They boarded the train and sat down and it felt like heaven for a second. Just then they realized how much their feet actually hurt.

Seokjin threw his head back and let out a satisfied groan as he felt a wave of relaxation wash over him. Namjoon gulped – Why? He wasn't sure. – and took a deep breath. A few seconds passed and the almost empty train started rolling forward. For a moment, Namjoon thought Jin fell asleep, but he soon faced the younger man again with a smile. “So when will we see each other again?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon was taken aback. He was just looking at him for what felt like a whole minute before he actually processed what he just heard.

It's not that he didn't want to see him again but he was quite shocked at that moment. Seokjin kept on smiling. Namjoon's mind went blank. When will they see each other again? – He didn't know. – “Uhm-”, was the final sound he managed to get out of his throat. “When fate decides to let us bump into each other again.”, he said with a soft smile and Seokjin seemed confused. But there was more. “If you can't wait that long, I guess next week will do too. I just happened to have a day off then again.”, he added with a slightly ironic tone. Of course he had a day off. He would have. The amount of time he spends at work, staying overtime and collecting hours that will be turned into free time, would manage to get him another day off.

Seokjin started to chuckle and fished his phone out of his pocket to mark the date. Then, a pause. He looked up to Namjoon with a rather blank expression. “Hey, can I have your number?”, he asked and Namjoon's heart skipped a beat. – Why? He couldn't tell – Hasty fingers dug through the pockets of his coat to get the silvery phone out. “Sure.”, Namjoon uttered through his scarf as he kept looking. The fear that he might have lost it struck him but the panic was wiped away once he found it. They exchanged numbers and – Seokjin told Namjoon much later – if he would have looked up, Namjoon would have caught Seokjin smirking.

The smirk was covered up with a cough and a hand in front of Seokjin's pretty pink lips that caught Namjoon's eye again. Whoever kisses those lips is the luckiest person on earth, Namjoon thought at that moment – He still thinks so, now. But boy! He himself is the luckiest person on earth – and little did he know, Seokjin was also mesmerized by the other man's full lips. The train kept rolling along the way that someone else set for it but the way Namjoon and Seokjin had to go was not handcrafted by anyone else than themselves.

~*~

“Why would you put me in a position like this?”, Namjoon whined as he sorted in the new books that just arrived – and by just arrived he meant that they arrived the night before his day off and no one bothered to sort them in until now. His co-worker, a man not much older than Namjoon, named Hoseok, who took this job for different reasons than Namjoon, smiled at him from the end of the aisle. “Come on, you're great at this job. You love your books and you love this library. No one is more suited for the office than you.”, he explained.

Right, Namjoon thought, if it wasn't for me, none of my co-workers would actually take care of this library. It's a shame that his boss had to retire. Actually, Namjoon hadn't spend much time with his boss. The first few weeks, they had a chat once or twice, but as Namjoon started to get familiar with the building and the furnishings that held books with the most amazing stories, he rather engaged in the stories a 20 year old romance novel could tell rather than the stories of a 60 year old, unmarried man that was his boss.

“Can I be honest with you, Namjoon?” - That smile again - “Of course, Hoseok.” - “Look, I don't want to run this thing. I'm more likely to ruin this thing, haha! Get it? Uhm-” he cleared his throat “What I'm trying to say is… if you don't take the job, which also comes with a raise by the way, this library will probably close in – what? One or even just half a year! But if you get to be the manager, the boss, the leader of this mess, this library will last forever! Or like… for as long as you live.”, Hoseok joked and Namjoon ran his hand down the back of a book as new it could have been wrapped in plastic just today.

“Uhm- You forgot to take off the plastic wrap.”, Hoseok mentioned and Namjoon rubbed his forehead as he pulled out the book again with such force that the ones next to it came down stumbling with it. He really wasn't himself. Too many things occupied his mind. First, the thing about his boss. Who would take the position to run the library? Everyone wanted to keep their jobs but no one was brave enough to consider taking the burden to become the boss and run this library. But that wasn't the only thing on Namjoon's mind that stressed him.

It's been three weeks since Namjoon has seen Seokjin the last, or rather the first, time. They wanted to meet but time always forced them to exchange text messages that ended up in a “Later for sure!” or a “tomorrow is another day.” which led up to a “Next Week, I promise” and left both of them a little hurt. At least Namjoon.

Hoseok helped him pick up the books and pushed them back into the shelve, his smile suddenly replaced with a frown. “Are you ok? Are you not feeling well? Or are you mad because of the office thing? I didn't mean to-” - “No it's ok. I'm just… over-thinking stuff. If I would take the position, I'd have even less time.”, Namjoon mumbled, taking a break from sorting the books. His eyes were roaming over the several backs of the books he still had to sort, distracting him from the almost mocking tone in Hoseok's voice.

“Time? That's what you're worried about? Namjoon, all you do in your free time is read. It's as if you live in the books! But hey, if you own this library you can read all you want. You can move into this place and no one would mind.”, Hoseok laughed, and Namjoon felt a little more hurt than he thought he would be. Was that his image? The book lover that doesn't live in the real world but just drowns himself in his books? Did people really think that? Yes, he likes books but… does he really want to escape reality through them? It's not that my reality is bad it's just… boring, Namjoon thought.

“I'll consider taking the position.”, he then mumbled, still lost in his thoughts. Hoseok's hands dropped onto the other's shoulders as he happily shook him, a smile stretched across his lips and working like a mirror, making Namjoon smile on the outside. “See? I knew this argument would get you to think about it!”, the other one replied and proudly crossed his arms before walking back to his position at the entrance.

Namjoon knew that Hoseok would leave work early again. Many of his co-workers often do that because people don't come in late. They always go out to eat and want him to tag along, but Namjoon stays. If he's good at something it's reading, waiting and staying. After Hoseok left him behind, his smile slowly faded as he ran his fingers over several book covers that seemed either way too plain or way too stuffed to attract anyone's attention.

What a mess, he thought and grabbed one of the plain books on the cart. The book was egg-shell white and had a pastel pink rose stretched across the cover and a title so cheesy he didn't want it stuck in his head. As soon as the first page flung over, Namjoon wasn't in his library anymore. He wasn't in Korea. He was in a small cottage upon a hill in France, experiencing the story of a certain Choi Haru, that hid from her family and their plan to give her hand away in marriage. It was when the sun slowly ducked away under the hill that the phone rang…

Seokjin used his break wisely. He used it to call Namjoon because he was tired of texting all the time. He wanted to hear his voice again. The voice that sounded like it was following its very own melody but still harmonized with the sound of the world around it. With rolled up sleeves and a loose lime green tie, Seokjin leaned against the wooden paneling of the break room, phone pressed against his ear as his head was filled with a loop of never ending, equal sounding, boring beeps instead of Namjoon's voice.

“Pick up...”, he whispered as he checked his watch as if time was running away from him. Time can not run, he thought, but why does it feel like it does? The monotone beeping stopped but Seokjin still wasn't greeted by anything else than computer generated sounds that told him Namjoon won't pick up. With a flick of his hand, away from his ear, Seokjin almost threw his phone away. Gripping it tightly, he checked the display as if he was expecting a call back right away. Somehow he knew, the call back wouldn't come, yet he couldn't take his eyes off his phone for more than the whole break.

He got back in position and a fellow worker greeted him right away. “The boss noticed you extended your break for 5 minutes.”, she whispered, observing the few people that were eating in the bistro. It was a joke, actually – She was his boss. “I know, I'm sorry. I was expecting a call.”, he apologized and checked his apron for stains, brushing off what he said like it wasn't that serious. The woman next to him frowned. “A call? Did something happen?”, she asked and Seokjin scoffed. No, the opposite, nothing happened, he thought.

“No, nothing. Something personal – Hello! Welcome in our bistro, how can I help?”, his conversation was cut short as a guest approached. A young woman, maybe 2 or 3 years younger. Her smile was as sweet as a banana cream pie and her soft red cheeks were the cherry on top. “I just wanted to ask if you had another napkin for our table?”, she said and her voice was confident, yet sweet, and it made Seokjin feel weird. A negative weird, like he was about to be jumped at.

“Yes of course.”, he said with a smile and grabbed a paper napkin from behind the counter. The woman smiled and opened her mouth to speak another few words: “Could you lend me a pen, by the way?” The negative weird feeling grew. “Yes.”, he said, still smiling, grabbing the pen from his apron and watched as the woman started writing her name and her number on the napkin. Seokjin took a deep breath. Oh, this feeling, he thought, the feeling of having to break someone's heart. As she finished, her smile grew with confidence.

As she reached out the napkin to Seokjin, his co-worker carefully took it away from her. “Oh my”, she said in a sickening sweet voice, “Would you look at that? I think you need a new napkin.” Her attitude shocked the female guest and Seokjin had to concentrate not to laugh. This strong attitude fit perfect to her honest and straightforward character. That's why they got along so well. She had an aura that drew Jin close and made him tell her his deepest secrets. She knew him.

“Don't you worry, I will bring you a new one right to your table.”, she added, looking at the shocked expression of the young woman. But before she could reply, the female waitress turned to Seokjin. “Mr. Kim? Would you mind going to the storage room and bring some new napkins to the front counter?”, she asked and even though Seokjin just saw that they were fully stocked up on napkins, he didn't refuse. It was a codeword. “Of course, Ms. Choi.”, he replied, bowing to the guest before leaving, hearing the guest yell that she will leave a bad review on the internet before the door fell shut.

Seokjin was waiting for almost 5 minutes before Ms. Choi entered the room. “Thanks.”, he muttered and they both started laughing. “You know”, she started, holding her stomach from all the laughter that she let echo through the shelves,  “if I had a dollar for every time some girls walk into my bistro to confess to you, I could pay you more.”, she joked and Seokjin laughed. They shared many hours in this storage room, talking, just talking, about themselves. Ms. Choi found out about Seokjin's preference for men after a female guest got too obtrusive – that was also the day where they set up the codeword of “stocking up napkins” - and Seokjin ran in the storage room to keep his cool.

He wasn't one of those people that get angry easily, but god, he was annoyed that day. “So about the call...”, Ms. Choi suddenly muttered, a little more serious, “if it's personal, do you have a-” - “No… no. I don't have a partner, no.”, Seokjin assured but the groan he let out after that made it clear that yes, he did not have a partner but he would really like to have one. Namjoon, if possible. His boss noticed it.

“Ok but be careful. You don't want to get someone like that other guy before, right?”, she said and Seokjin had to swallow hard to keep him from puking. “Yes.”, he breathed, thinking back at the time when he was somehow drawn towards this mysterious young dark haired man with a temper that made you forget why you loved him but a smile that made you remember why you do. It wasn't healthy. Far from it.

“I'll give you another 5 minutes, ok? You know you still have to work overtime, do you?”, Ms. Choi added before turning around, opening the door to get out. Seokjin didn't answer. He didn't need to. It was already clear that he had to work overtime the second he stepped into the storage room. He checked his phone again just to be greeted by nothing else but the time.

It was at the time that his shift should have ended when Seokjin was still out in the guest area, cleaning tables, when a group of people entered. A man and two women. The man's smile was so bright it was lighting up the whole room, settling down in everyone’s face as he passed them. The women were following him as they all sat down at a clean table. Seokjin put away his cleaning rag and hurried to their table to get their order. It was late already so the menu changed, the bar was open and people were watching some sort of sports match while the barkeeper was polishing glasses and agreeing to all their opinions.

The group was chatting happily about their work and as Seokjin approached, he almost choked on his spit as the name Namjoon fell. “So, Hoseok, did you get Namjoon to take the position?”, one of the women asked. She was sitting in front of him, across the table. The man, Hoseok, smiled and leaned back. “He says he will think about it. But I'm sure he will take it. If no one else will take it, he has to. Our Joonie wouldn't want his precious library to close, would he?”, he laughed and the women laughed too.

Seokjin's head tilted to the side a little bit as he stopped in front of the table. Silent, he stood there, watching and waiting, listening and realizing. A few seconds later, Hoseok turned towards him. The surprised look on his face made Seokjin snap out of his trance with a smile, almost neatly without any noticeable sign of distress in is expression. “Good evening. Do you already know what you want to drink?”, Seokjin asked, pen and paper ready to collide.

The group looked at each other before taking a look at the available drinks. “Uhm, I'll have a coca cola.”, the woman next to Hoseok said, looking at him as if she needed some sort of confirmation. “I'll take a coca cola light, please.”, the woman across the table said, not even looking up. Now it was Hoseok's turn to order. “Do you have ice tea?”, he asked and his expression was so genuine that the fog that poked Jin's insides with dreadful thoughts lifted. “Yes. We have a fruit mix, lemon and peach. We also have a new green ice tea, if you would like to try that.”, Seokjin explained while writing down the other orders.

Hoseok made a dramatic pause, with a loud and very stretched “Hmm~” sound. A little too dramatic for Seokjin's liking, but he has had worse at this place. “I'll take the fruit mix.”, Hoseok replied, and put his hands behind his back. Seokjin nodded, noted the order down and bowed before asking if they already knew what they want to eat. Since it wasn't a traditional Korean restaurant, the group needed some time to decide. Seokjin left and rushed behind the bar. Within the blink of an eye, he was back at the table again, approaching slowly.

“It's such a shame I can't have him.”, the woman next to Hoseok complained rather loudly, “It would have been so nice. Imagine he would become the boss… if he was mine, I could come and go to work whenever I wanted! Not to mention the money he'd have!” The tray slipped but before any of the glasses could tip over, Seokjin got back into balance, stopping dead in his tracks as he eavesdropped to their conversation. No one noticed it. They were talking about Namjoon again. The seed of curiosity that was planted in his heart a few weeks ago was blooming.

Why would she want to have him? Or more important, why couldn't she have him? Namjoon didn't mention that he had a girlfriend. Why would he need to, Seokjin asked himself, it's not like he could tell that you might be interested in him. The conversation continued. “Oh, Hoseok, what do I do? The good men are always taken or...”, she said but her voice got more quiet with every word passing. – taken or what? - She looked at Hoseok, who gave her a weak smile. “You could have him!”, she complained loudly and Hoseok started to laugh, startling both women that sat with him, and Seokjin who was still standing far away, unnoticed by anyone.

It was as if he was a shadow, his black apron and pants, followed by the shoes, merging into one with the black granite floor. “Me? Oh no! You know I'm taken. And I wouldn't leave my Sugar for Namjoon.”, he uttered shyly, looking out of the window. For a second, Seokjin thought they saw him in the reflection. His lungs felt empty, his throat tied together. The blood running through his veins became icy and he felt nervous. Then, Hoseok turned back to his co-worker, not noticing Seokjin at all. He relaxed.

What are you doing, get going, he thought and was about to take another step when - “Oh come on. Would you rather have more money with Namjoon than to stay poor with your so called musician boyf-” - “I said no.”, Hoseok said determined, his smile not slipping away even an inch. His eyes wandered to the woman across which was more engaged in the top fashion trends flashing on her phone rather than the conversation the other two had. “The library is a safe space for people like us.”, Hoseok whispered but the emptiness of the dining area carried the echo to Seokjin, whose heart dropped at the sudden realization.

He let out a heavy but somehow silent sigh, as if he held his breath for all this time – did he really? He couldn't remember – and soon his feet started moving towards the table. “I'm sorry you had to wait.”, Seokjin apologized and placed their drinks onto the table, “Do you know what you want to eat already?” As he took their orders and went into the kitchen to pass it on, exchanging some tips with the cook, Seokjin felt his phone buzzing. His hand lazily reached into the pocket of his apron, fishing out the phone to check the cause of the buzz.

A message from his boss and one missed call from Namjoon. He called and I didn't notice, Seokjin thought, his wide shoulders sagging down in disbelief. He checked Ms. Choi's message first – which was a good idea – and read that he is free to go and he should get changed quickly because someone was expecting him. Without hesitation, he hurried into the dressing room and got rid of his apron, his work shoes, pants, shirt, everything! - almost everything – and got dressed in his street clothing. His phone buzzed again. He's waiting behind the building, at the side entrance!, the message of Ms. Choi read and Seokjin's heart jumped. Could it be Namjoon? The thought made his blood rush into his cheeks that lifted under the influence of a smile that drew his lips apart.

But what if it isn't him, he thought and his smile dropped. He couldn't risk not talking to Namjoon today. He flung his bag over one shoulder and pressed the field to dial Namjoon's number as he stepped into the short hallway and made his way to the door his boss mentioned. The long and plain sounds of computer generated beeps filled his ears just like it did during his break, but as he reached out to open the door to the side entrance, another sound filled his ears.

It was the muffled sound of a phone ringing. His hand, heavy like a chunk of metal, dropped down and forced the door handle to give up under his weight as he pulled open the door, revealing the back of a man that was about to press his phone against his ear, turning around because the sudden change of atmosphere and the loud clicking of the door startled him. Seokjin looked up into those dark eyes after what seemed so long and his smile was small, yet happy and carefree.

Namjoon's hand was slowly sinking, and as it was sinking his shocked eyes got calm. His lip, no longer sucked in by his teeth as his body and mind came to ease by the sight of the beautiful man that Seokjin was. The night was clear and cold, apart from some faint clouds that didn't hint on rain like the days and weeks before. It was a total different feeling. It felt like a total different realm. The clouds were drifting by as the two of them looked into each other's eyes as they suddenly walked up to one another and greeted each other with a handshake and a hug. It seemed so sudden, yet like they have been waiting to do only this.

“Namjoon! I finally get to see you!”, Seokjin's words were muffled in the other's hood. As they pulled away, Seokjin's bag got tangled into something as it was sliding off his shoulder. They looked down and Jin spied a plastic bag in Namjoon's hand. It was too packed to be a book, but maybe it were more than one. “Ah… I bought us some food. I thought we could hang out or walk around and eat something.”, Namjoon explained as he lifted up the plastic bag which swiftly curled around the strap of Seokjin's bag as they tried to undo the mess they caused. “You know we could just have eaten here. I could have served you.”, Seokjin replied with a playful wink once he freed his bag from the fangs of the white plastic monster that usually caused so much pollution all around the world.

The wink was unnoticed by Namjoon as he checked the inside of the bag, but Seokjin's words were still enough to make him smile. “I didn't want to bother you… also, I know some of my co-workers are here today. I didn't want to be split up between you and them.”, Namjoon explained, looking up, “After all, I came here because I-” - Namjoon didn't dare to say “I missed you” at that time, so he had a little pause - “because I wanted to spend more time with you, and not with them.”

Seokjin's smile turned into a shy laugh, disbelief filled his mind as his cheeks burned up in this cold night as he placed a hand on his friend's back. “Alright, let's go.”, the older man uttered and scooted a little closer to indicate that he was ready to leave. “What did you buy, by the way?”, he then added after taking the first few steps together. The wind played a song with the synthetic material of the bag in Namjoon's hands as he peeked inside.

“Fried chicken with rice and also noodles – I didn't know what you preferred – and some hot sauce, fried vegetables and uh-”, he listed, getting quieter as he asked himself if he forgot to buy Kimchi or if they didn't give him any. Seokjin didn't mind, not at all – he loves fried chicken – and the fact that Namjoon bought all this was enough to satisfy him. More than enough.

They were headed nowhere in particular. They just walked down the empty streets, headlights racing past them and streetlights guiding their way as the wind was dancing around them, gracing their skin with light touches that made Namjoon rub his hands. He might have been packed with layers and coats, touched up by a big grey scarf, but he had no gloves. Seokjin however, he had gloves. Late September nights tend to get very cold, especially when it’s the end of September and the cold breath of October mornings is already knocking on your windows.

The older man looked at Namjoon rubbing his hands. “Are you cold?”, he asked, stating the obvious as if he needed an answer for that. Namjoon hesitated and slid his hands into his pockets, lifting his shoulders up to his ears before easing again. “A little bit. I didn’t think it would be cold enough that I would need gloves, if I’m honest.”, Namjoon said and Seokjin nodded his head and took off his gloves. The expression on the younger one’s face signalized Seokjin that he better explains what he was about to do.

Seokjin smiled. “You can have my gloves.”, he muttered and reached them to Namjoon, who shook his head in response. Seokjin tilted his head, not retreating his hands. His eyes were fixed on Namjoon, who dug his hands deeper into his pockets, making the plastic bag rustle. “They are yours. If I take them, you’re hands will get cold.”, Namjoon said, “And that’s not helping any of us.” - of course he wanted to take them, but he was too shy – Seokjin rose an eyebrow, unimpressed by the other’s reason to not accept his gloves. Sure, it did make sense, but Jin didn’t want sense.

Was there a reason they met? Not really. Did fate set them up? Maybe. Do they both feel strangely drawn to each other and genuinely happy around each other? Hell yeah! Seokjin didn’t want any explanations to what the sense behind their meeting or his feelings was – Seokjin wanted Namjoon – and since he knew that it was possible, he wanted to show him. Slowly, Seokjin put on one glove, handing the other to Namjoon, who frowned at him. “I told you I don’t want your gloves. Your hands will be cold.”, Namjoon repeated and Seokjin shook his head again, placing his other hand on Namjoon's shoulder, stopping both of them from walking.

“One glove.”, he said and Namjoon looked around, confused, before looking down to the glove. “You take one, I take one.”, Seokjin explained and Namjoon smiled. He was looking for words to tell the other that it wouldn’t make any sense to only wear one glove, but he found himself in an endless labyrinth of possible reactions he could receive. Defeated, he took the glove and looked at it, taking a deep breath of the cold autumn air. As he slid his hand into the woolen glove, he noticed that the glove was rather tight around his fingers, yet it was still wearable for him.

Namjoon looked up at Seokjin, unexpectedly meeting his smile that framed his face more than those glasses of his. He took the first step to continue walking and Seokjin followed proudly. “So what about the other hand?”, Namjoon said jokingly, “Each one of us will have a warm and a cold hand?” To his surprise, Seokjin, an amazing actor, put on an innocent face paired with a played shocked expression. “Oh right! How didn’t I think of this.”, he muttered, shaking his head and making Namjoon smile with his performance. When his ungloved hand reached out for Namjoon's, the younger’s eyes went wide.

“I guess we have to keep them warm with our body heat then.”, Seokjin smiled and shot a wink to Namjoon – the wink, that killed it all – whose shoulders sagged imperceptibly and the shy blush on his face mixed with the blood that tried to keep his face warm in the cold. Namjoon didn’t reply, his tongue was tied, but the fact that he didn’t mind Seokjin’s hand in his – he even lightly squeezed it – was enough to lift up the older one’s heart.

For a while, they walked without speaking a word. As they reached the cafe they first met at, Namjoon was about to say something. Something like “Hey, look! The cafe where we met.” but he thought it was unnecessary to say so he kept walking in silence. However as Seokjin realized where they were, blinded and hypnotized by the street lights every time they made the shadows around them dance, he nudged Namjoon's arm and nodded towards the cafe. They smiled and kept walking. Seokjin imagined taking Namjoon to that cafe for a date. He would like it. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have to worry about rainy days when it would come so far.

They passed the train station for it was too early to go home just then. A few streets later, they crossed the street and followed their feet which lead them towards a bridge. The plastic bag hit Namjoon's leg and he pulled it up. “Oh right! We should find a place to eat before it gets cold.”, he said and spied a bench across the bridge. It was surrounded by a bit of green, almost like a little park area.

The bench was cold but their coats kept them warm and it was as they sat down that they had to let go of each other's hands when Namjoon placed the bag with the food between them. - A perfect night, right? - Namjoon laughed as he saw the single glove on his hand again and Seokjin joined in too. As the time passed, they ate and talked and laughed and smiled. They finished everything Namjoon bought and Seokjin closed his eyes and leaned back. The sigh he let out was stretched and pleased, as if he was in a state of mind that offered him peace, even if it was only for a short while. While the older man enjoyed to just breathe and relax, Namjoon put the trash into the plastic bag and threw it away into a nearby trashcan.

The almost freezing breeze that kissed his skin let his fingers curl and if he had opened his eyes, he would have seen the cloud that formed from his lips with every breath that escaped. All of the sudden, the cold that attacked his hand was fading as Namjoon's hand found its way around Seokjin's, fingers intertwining as if they were meant to hold each other. It felt warm and nice – very nice – and Namjoon was blushing so much he hid his face in his scarf. Seokjin chuckled as he opened his eyes and saw Namjoon all curled up.

Maybe it was because of the time, maybe it was because of how comfortable he felt, but Namjoon could feel his eyes slowly flickering, dragging his eyelids down in an attempt to make him fall asleep. It would be very inconvenient to fall asleep right now. He shook his shoulders, giving him a little bit of energy back to stay awake. As he shook his head up again, there was a weird sensation coming from Seokjin and as the younger man turned to face him, all he could see was a smile on the face of a man as beautiful as how he imagined all the princes in all those fairy tales.

The street light was placing the shadows just right to emphasize all the beauty that was this man and – Namjoon didn’t notice at the time, but his mouth was open wide, his jaw dropping in awe – when his simple smile turned into a  muffled laughter, Seokjin turned his face back to the stars, the few that were visible that night – which also could have been airplanes, they still aren’t sure – in the sky, and the shadows switched places.

Namjoon was struck. What was going on? Why was Seokjin so nice – if not even more than nice – to him? His heart was beating faster than ten thousand steam rollers and his head was a steam pipe, hot and cloudy, leaving him no room to think straight with Seokjin around him. “You look tired.”, the blonde prince in the delicate street light uttered, getting up from the bench. “Let’s get you home.” His voice was as sweet as honey. All Namjoon wanted was to just lean on and walk home with him. Would that be too much? “Come on.”, Seokjin smiled and Namjoon got up, not letting go of the other’s hand.

Just like that, they walked across the bridge. Just like that, they walked down the sidewalks. Just like that, they went to the train station. The other people and streetlights became irrelevant to them, not that they ever actually worried about them in the first place. While people might talk behind their backs, they won’t hear it. The streetlights will place the shadows to keep the beauty hidden and shine on the flaws, but they won’t see it. All they saw were each other. Seokjin’s neat blonde hair that ended just above his romantic dark eyes that were shining behind his half moon shaped glasses. Namjoon's unruly dark hair and his dimples that framed his smile like the masterpiece it was.

Drunk on sleep, or rather the lack of it, Namjoon leaned onto Seokjin as if it was the most natural thing to do, as they stopped by a red light. “You’re not falling asleep, are you?”, the older one asked and Namjoon jolted his head away, looking straight ahead of him. “I'm just a little tired.”, he mumbled and Seokjin squeezed his hand. Namjoon was a little mystery to him. Seokjin did not know that Namjoon's tiredness came from a forceful awakening, of his trance after reading a book, so he could carry boxes of books across the library.

It was almost as if he had been awake for a whole week after being sucked into a book for merly a few hours before he continued doing what he got paid for. Their feet hurried across the street to finally get to the train station so that both of them could get home safely, even if it was a little late. When they walked up the stairs and were faced by the path which caused them to have this adventurous fall the last time, Seokjin couldn’t keep the smile on his face from growing. Not a single word was spoken as they calmly walked across the dry sidewalk, leaves bending under their shoes.

It was different, very different, from the last time they walked this road, the complete opposite even. As they got on the train, they sat down next to each other and Namjoon had troubles keeping his eyes open. His head fell onto Seokjin’s shoulder once or twice before bobbing back into place. He could hear the older man mumble sweet words, but he couldn’t make out what it was - Seokjin still refuses to tell him - but he knew that his voice was soft and soothing, almost like the voice of an experienced storyteller. Only that Seokjin wasn’t telling Namjoon any fairy tales - oh no, only the truth - and his aim wasn’t exactly to be heard.

~*~

They had many nights like this afterwards. One of them would walk to the other’s workplace and surprise them, walking home together in the night after eating together. It continued for another two weeks. The end of October was coming closer, when Namjoon almost choked on his kimchi that he was eating with Seokjin in a warm restaurant. “You want me to what?”, he asked again, gulping down his glass of water in one go. “I would like you to accompany me to a birthday party. Nothing big…”, Seokjin explained as if it was nothing, stuffing his food into his mouth. For him, it was a step he felt necessary to take, for Namjoon it was closer to the cause of a sudden sickness building up in his stomach.

“But… I don’t know that person. Or your other friends in general. Won’t it be weird if I-” - “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Don’t worry about the others.”, Seokjin said, cutting into Namjoon’s word. He did that quite often, Seokjin, cutting into Namjoon’s endless rambling to bring him back to reality, but only when he was about to get tangled into a web of confusing thoughts and small worries - small to him, but big to Namjoon - that he would worry about for a whole week. “I already told them I would bring a friend so they would be prepared.”, Seokjin added, waving his chopsticks around, giving off a careless vibe.

Suddenly, Namjoon wasn’t hungry anymore, yet there was a growl in his stomach. “Are you ok?”, Seokjin asked and lay down his cutlery, reaching for the other's hand. It made Namjoon's stomach growl again. “Did you eat something bad?”, the older man asked, eying Namjoon’s plate and Namjoon knew it wasn't the food. He was nervous of how Seokjin's friends would react to him. Not that there was a need to be nervous. They, Namjoon and Seokjin, were friends, right? It's not like they all expect anything, right?

“It’s nothing. Is it really ok that I come with you?”, the younger one asked and Seokjin smiled, realising that Namjoon was just nervous. His hand slipped off the other's and Namjoon curled his fingers. “They won’t bite, don’t worry.”, Seokjin assured him before giving him a wide smile, getting ready to continue eating. “Even if they were known for biting, I wouldn’t let them bite you.”, he added with a wink and Namjoon threw his head to the side with a grin. The younger one put his cutlery down and waited for Seokjin to finish eating.

It always amazed him how much the other could eat and how good he still looked - how fit and slim - even though he ate all the fried and greasy stuff. By the amount of food Seokjin was eating, Namjoon knew that he would not be the one that would pay. Seokjin never lets Namjoon pay when they - or rather he - eat so much. For him it seemed ok that he pays lots of money for food, but he wouldn’t want Namjoon to pay. “When’s the birthday?”, Namjoon asked, re arranging his plate in a manner to distract and calm himself, as Seokjin finally finished.

Before he answered his friend, he called for the waiter to tell him he wants to pay. Namjoon was about to say something but Seokjin cut him off: “It’s this weekend.” - “That’s… in two days.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin smiled innocently, blurring out an ‘oh really?’ as if he didn’t knew. Namjoon sighed. It was a long sigh and there was no smile afterwards. No smile that would signalize the older one something like ‘you’re impossible’ in a friendly way or anything else that could have been replaced by friendly teasing.

“I’ll try to get a day off, but I can’t promise anything. Sorry.”, Namjoon said and Seokjin almost didn’t see the waiter coming. “You’re working? Since when? You never worked on weekends.”, the older man replied and his eyes darted back and forth between Namjoon and the waiter, then to the bill and back to Namjoon, but lastly, they rested on the bill as he paid. “Did something happen?”, he added and Namjoon just shrugged. The librarian had no idea how to reply. Saying that nothing happened wouldn’t only be a lie but also wouldn’t explain why he had to work.

Despite being the only one that applied to take over his boss’ position as soon as he retires, his boss wanted to see Namjoon’s capability. He wanted to see if he would actually work, instead of just reading all the time. The younger one had been working overtime for more than a week now, and he still had to work on the weekend. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”, Namjoon replied and they got ready to leave.

Earlier, when he picked up Seokjin from the bistro, Namjoon was late because he had to work so much. Yet, he didn’t tell Seokjin about it. He made up a lie about getting lost and Seokjin smiled at him, taking his hand and calling him clumsy. What a mess. “I hope you’re not mad at me if-”, Namjoon started but Seokjin laughed, shaking his head. “Namjoon, I don’t think you can do anything to make me be angry or mad at you.”, the older one replied with a teasing smile, buttoning up his coat.

Seokjin grabbed his pastel pink umbrella on his way out and held the door open for Namjoon like the gentleman he was - and still is - in the younger one’s eyes. The first few drops settled down on Namjoon’s head and shoulders while Seokjin was rushing to his aid but alas, he couldn't open the umbrella. Namjoon frowned and reached his hand out for the umbrella. “It’s stuck.”, Seokjin whispered, shaking and pushing the pastel pink one in many directions before giving up and handing it to Namjoon. Hands blessed with disaster shook and pulled and twisted the umbrella in many different way, trying to loosen it up to get it to open and shelter them from the rain.

It took Namjoon a few moments to figure something out. It almost felt right until - crack - he held the handle of the umbrella in one hand, and the rest of the squashed umbrella in the other hand. Breathing suddenly felt like a foreign concept as he planned to take a deep breath, eyes staring in panic at the plastic and metal in his hands. Seokjin’s mouth stood wide open in shock, disbelief and surprise. The umbrella was broken. It was when Seokjin breathed out loudly that Namjoon realized he was holding his breath the whole time, mouth getting dry from the cold autumn air.

Seokjin’s previous words echoed through his head. Dear brain, this was not a challenge to prove him wrong, Namjoon thought, afraid to look up at the other man, whose trashed belongings were resting in his hands while the sky was crying down on them in the shine of the moonlight which was slightly dimmer than the street lights. Almost painful was the breath the younger one inhaled before taking the deepest bow he was able to do without getting on his knees. In his mind, he saw Seokjin’s disappointed face, a hint of anger in the shape of his mouth and dissatisfaction in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’m very sorry, Seokjin. I didn’t know- I’m-” - “It’s just an umbrella.” Namjoon’s head jerked up. His upper body was pushed up softly by Seokjin who was wearing the most carefree and calm expression, yet still with the expected dissatisfaction in his eyes. “Don’t worry too much, Namjoon. I can just buy a new one. It just sucks that I can’t shield us from the rain now.”, Seokjin chuckled, taking the broken pieces of the umbrella and going inside, asking one of the workers if they would mind taking care of throwing away the broken umbrella. Namjoon was waiting in the cold october rain, drops of water coming down on him, feeling like they were piercing into his skin.

His initial reaction when Seokjin came out again was to grab his hand. Holding Seokjin’s hand soothed him and he hoped to show Seokjin how sorry he is. The older man smiled, squeezing the younger one’s hand before cupping it into both of his hands and pressing them against his heart, eyes shining while peering deep into Namjoon’s soul. “I told you not to worry, Namjoon. It is just an umbrella.”, Seokjin explained calmly, shooting Namjoon a wink that made his face burn up.

They both knew it was not just an umbrella, but the older one’s words were steady and spoken with so much certainty that they ended up believing it. - It is just an umbrella - But there was one error in that message. It was an umbrella. That fact occurred to them not long after. “Is the rain getting heavier?”, Seokjin asked, blinking rain drops out of his eyes as he looked up into the sky, his skin getting pecked by the little splashes of water that bounced off his glasses. “This is really unfortunate.”, Namjoon whispered and as they passed a well known corner, he remembered a scene from a romance novel.

He forgot where it lead to, he stopped reading shortly after. It was too cheesy, even for his taste. However, sometimes cheese is enough to spice up the mood. “Hang on a second.”, the younger mumbled, stopping Seokin in his tracks. Namjoon started to undo his scarf and open up his coat. Seokjin watched him with curious eyes. Confusion and curiosity were holding hands that day for Seokjin. The grey scarf that was resting on Namjoon’s shoulder before was soon unwrapped and lifted and as he placed it around Seokjin’s neck and the older one had trouble to not pull Namjoon in a hug this instant. Arms weirdly engaging in an act that ended with crossing his arms, Seokjin rose a brow.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get cold.”, he complained and Namjoon took off his coat, lifting it above their heads as best as he could. Being taller than Seokjin, even if it was only for a bit, made it slightly easier to rest his arm on the other ones broad shoulders, giving them a little shelter. “I’ll be ok. I’m tougher than I look, Seokjin.”, Namjoon chuckled, honestly convinced that the happiness he found when spending time with Jin would keep him healthy, almost as if he’s untouchable - which wasn’t the case - when they are together. Long arms stretched the coat above their heads and Seokjin just realised how toned the younger one’s arms were, sleeves of his black sweatshirt hanging down slightly.

Well he needs strength if he carries boxes full of books almost every day, Seokjin thought as he bit his lip, which stayed almost unnoticed. Swiftly, his arm wrapped around Namjoon’s waist, dragging him close and hugging him, hip to hip, like a handbag. “The closer we stay together, the less space we take up.”, the older one said and his voice was almost teasing. His hand reached up for where Namjoon was holding the edge of his coat above his head and as if they agreed on it, Namjoon’s arm slid down along Seokjin’s before resting lazily over the older one’s shoulder. What a blast.

The younger man couldn’t get rid of the grin on his face that let his dimples appear more prominent than ever. Their feet carried them a few steps before Seokjin dragged Namjoon back at his waist. “Your scarf…”, he started and he was about to reach out for it but Namjoon’s light pat in the chest and a slurred “Don’t mind it” let his hand stay where it was. It was as if they stopped caring about the rain when they continued walking through splashing puddles or when their shoes sunk into muddy ground. The wind was chill but Namjoon didn’t mind as long as he had Seokjin’s warmth beside him.

He would get him a new umbrella, Namjoon promised himself. First thing tomorrow, he thought and looked ahead of them to see how long this would last. How long they would stay - or rather walk - like this, wrapped around each other, on their way to their separate homes. When they arrived at the train station, it was always a little saddening for Namjoon, knowing that they will share an awkward 6 minute train ride before the first one has to get off to go home alone and continue with his life without the other - They are glad those times are over now - before living another day, eager to see each other again.

The rain was playing a damp melody as it pattered on the cloth above their heads. It was different to the sound it made when it hit the pastel pink umbrella. A shiver ran down Namjoon’s spine and he couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the guilt. Either way, he thought he deserved it. The train wouldn’t take too long, they knew. I want to stay like this for a little longer though, they both thought. Seokjin’s hand which was ever so slightly stroking Namjoon’s hips, fingers curling almost enough to squeeze them. His head needlessly fitting into the space that was left on Namjoon’s shoulder along the arm that was wrapped around the older one’s wide shoulder.

The ruthless rain cut through every breath that left their lips while the lights at the train station threw large shadows far behind them where they wouldn’t care to look back to. It was just a moment later that the train howled on the old rails in the distance, telling everyone to be aware of his presence. Seokjin, who was still leaning his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, let out an annoyed sigh. The blinding headlights of the train let their shadow dance in a circle around them, throwing it further away and letting it build up ten times the size of them cuddling under the coat.

As the train came to a shrieking halt, blessing their ears with the sound of what Namjoon imagined a banshee to sound like, Seokjin’s hand fell. He was no longer holding Namjoon’s waist close. Lonely fingers made their way into the pocket of his pants as the other one held onto the coat to lead them into the inside of the train. The inside was surprisingly dry.

Not many people got on or off the train at those hours, so it was only reasonable that it was dry. They sat down and without any more words, Namjoon hurrying to put on his coat again. They spend their 6 minutes of riding the train together in total silence. Namjoon lost in his own thoughts and Seokjin lost in the other one’s face that was reflected by the window across them.

~*~

Namjoon remembered the talk with his boss as if it was just the day before. In fact, it was just the day before. The headache that was evenly pulsing in his temple was giving him a hard time. “Sir, could I take the day off tomorrow.”, he had asked as he entered the office that hopefully would soon belong to him. “A whole day off?”, his boss asked in a concerned voice. It was not intended to be concerned. The old man wanted to mock him, but something in the young man’s voice hindered him. “If you can not spare me the whole day, maybe just a few hours. Two should be enough, Sir.”, Namjoon had suggested, even though two hours wouldn’t be enough. The old man twirled around in his chair, making loud, almost ridiculously long stretched ‘hmmm’ sounds as he thought about it.

Namjoon wasn’t feeling well back then, but it wasn’t as bad as this day. The day of the birthday party. He already told Seokjin he would come with him because his boss was gracious enough to let him off three and a half hours earlier. The young librarian was sorting books into shelves, putting on new labels because the old ones already turned yellow or fell off, before he was granted the time he needed to get home. “I expect you well rested on monday then.”, his boss had said after Namjoon left his office and what else could he do but say “Yes, of course.” and bow his head.

The noise in the streets seemed louder than usual. Girls laughing and mothers’ yelling rung in his ears like a tune that was recorded much too close and way too loud in front of a microphone. He just wanted to get home and take a nap before getting ready. Just a short nap. That would be all he needed, he thought. His nose was running a lot that day, almost as if it couldn’t wait to arrive at home. It was the day on which he found out he might not be as untouchable as he thought he was.

He remembered the night he shielded Seokjin and himself from the rain, thinking back and cursing at the man in the novel that did the same, hence giving him this dumb idea. He was sure the man in the novel did not end up getting sick. The author wouldn’t let this happen to his characters, would he? Otherwise, he would be a really cruel author to make his characters sick by something done out of love. “Give me a break.”, he whispered to himself, heavy feet carrying his limp body up the stairs to the train station.

It was almost a miracle how good his timing brought him home. As the door flew open and he tumbled in, the sight of his book shelf and which book to read next were completely ignored. His heavy coat, which carried several keys and his wallet, fell down next to the door as he still did not repair the jacket holder that broke off a few days - maybe even weeks - ago. Almost stumbling over his own two feet as he forcefully tried to slip out of his shoes. The bedroom - if you could call it that - wasn’t far from the entrance and he almost immediately fell asleep as he threw himself - face first - onto his bed. He could feel his body relax the moment his brain realised that he was in his safe space.

Suddenly, his phone started violently vibrating and shaking him out of his relaxed 5 seconds and fueled his headache again. As quickly as it happened, it was gone already. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, groaning into his blanket a couple of times, he was forced to sit up on his bed, pushing himself up with arms that were too tired already. It was a message from Hoseok, along with a message from Seokjin. Resisting the fuzzy feeling in his stomach, he opened his co-worker’s message first. The sole purpose of Hoseok’s message was to tell him that he forgot his umbrella at the library. Namjoon sighed loudly.

The umbrella. The one he bought for Seokjin to make up for the broken pink one. It might not be as pretty or colourful - it was plain grey - but Namjoon wanted to get him a new one. He didn’t reply to Hoseok and just checked what Seokjin wanted to tell him.

Change of plans, I’ll meet you on the train. I can not pick you up at your station. Thank you for coming with me! ♥, the message read and Namjoon’s heart fluttered every time Seokjin send hearts attached to his message. He liked to think it was because of him and not just because it’s the way Seokjin writes. He liked to think that he was special to Seokjin and that’s why he send him hearts. - Boy, was he right - Namjoon replied with a short sentence. It didn’t feel right so he hung another one behind it.

Alright. Thank you for inviting me! That was about it. A few moments later, Namjoon found himself drifting off into something similar to sleep, but without a dream. He wasn’t even sure if he really slept or if he just can’t remember being awake. Either way, he felt a little better than before. He spend about two hours asleep before he considered himself able to get ready. The march towards the bathroom felt longer than it actually was.

Namjoon thought it  would be appropriate to spend some time brushing up and lookin good - to impress Seokjin - so the people won’t think about him as someone who doesn’t take care of himself. The tiles were cold and somehow Najoon felt sensitive towards it. Yet he only wondered why the colour drained from his face as he looked into the mirror. He felt better. He felt good. That’s what he told himself, refusing to accept the fact that he indeed got sick.

He put on a light coat, paying more attention to his looks than his health, and went outside once he was ready. The wind was cold and felt almost like an attacker was hitting against his head. The way to the train station wasn’t long, 5 minutes maybe. However, that day, Namjoon needed 7 minutes to get there, being just in time for the train to arrive. He let himself fall down onto the first empty seat he spotted and a few moments later, his phone rang. “Yes?”, he asked and his voice sounded rough, despite not having talked for half the day.

“Namjoon?”, it was Seokjin, “Are you on the train? I haven’t seen you yet so I was- Wait!” Namjoon frowned and moved the phone so he could see the screen. Seokjin hung up, much to Namjoon’s surprise. He looked to his left and saw nothing but strangers, he looked to his right and saw - guess what - more strangers. Did he take the wrong train? That’s not even possible. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before someone started to talk. “Excuse me, handsome? Looking for some company?”, a voice asked and Namjoon’s head rose slowly, confusion printed on his face.

The person was wearing a coat in the colour of cardboard boxes, that fell down in a straight line, a grey scarf and half moon shaped glasses- “Seokjin.”, Namjoon blurred out and the other started to grin before sitting down next to him. “I saw you shortly after I called you.”, the older one explained and Namjoon nodded. He felt a certain way but he couldn’t tell what the cause if it was. It was a mix of feelings. The younger one didn’t even notice that Seokjin was holding his hand, hiding it as good as he could from the public.

“When do we have to get off again?”, Namjoon asked, voice husky and deep. “Just two stations from here. Are you ok?”, the older one replied, finishing off with an unexpected question, that wasn’t that unexpected after all. Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “No, don’t worry. I’m ok.”, he said leaning comfortably in his seat. “I just got a dry throat, that’s all.” Of course that was a lie. It was more than a dry throat, but Namjoon wanted to enjoy this party with Seokjin and his friends. Just one day, he thought, one day to spend with him.

They arrived at the party a little later than planned, but the host did not mind. “You must be Namjoon.”, the host said after greeting both of them. The younger one nodded. “I’m Park Seungjun.” As the host introduced himself, Namjoon realised that Seokjin never mentioned any of his friend’s names. The only name known to Namjoon was Ms. Choi, Seokjin’s boss. “There are drinks in the kitchen and some snacks pretty much everywhere. Also, if you haven’t eaten yet you can help yourself, we arranged a little buffet.”, Seungjun explained and Namjoon listened eagerly while following him inside.

“Amazing, I’m starving.”, Seokjin chuckled and Seungjun lead them to the kitchen before joining the others. They stuffed some plastic plates with food and Namjoon was amazed by the amount of effort that was put into this party. “Did he arrange it himself?”, he asked Seokjin who shook his head in response. “His roommate and friends arranged it. It’s more or less a surprise party.”, the older one explained and they sat down somewhere to eat in peace.

Shortly after, they joined the others in a room that was poorly lit by neon lights in pink and blue with music so loud it went through Namjoon’s whole body. And that was when his headache came back. Everyone was having fun and drank and Namjoon felt like he was observing a scene from a teen novel where something dramatic would happen that would lead the protagonist to lots of problems. “Here.”, Seokjin said behind him, reaching him a cup of clear liquid. The younger one didn’t even notice that Seokjin went to get something to drink. This would be the part where the protagonist does a dumb decision, Namjoon thought taking the cup with a smile, thanking Seokjin. I don’t have to drink it right away, he thought, still smiling weakly at his friend.

A few minutes passed, different songs played, everyone was having fun and Namjoon felt like his head was about to explode. Without a second thought, he brought the cup to his lips and let the fluid wet his throat. When he tasted the drink, he was surprised, yet he drank all of it. It was just water. “You look surprised.”, Seokjin chuckled and Namjoon couldn’t find the right words. How should he explain that he thought his cup was filled with vodka or soju instead of water. That he thought Seokjin would probably try to make him drunk.

Namjoon shrugged. A smirk formed on Seokjin’s face as he lay one hand on the other one’s shoulder, slowly gliding it closer towards the other’s neck. Suddenly, his smirk turned into a frown and his hands shot up to cup the other’s face, touching his cheek and forehead. Namjoon was not prepared for this, he just stood there in shock. “Namjoon.”, Seokjin whispered and the other nodded slightly, “You’re having a fever. I’m taking you home.”

Laughter was echoing through the room and Seungjun and a friend approached them, joking about how Seokjin was about to infiltrate Namjoon’s mouth with his tongue. The younger one was blushing heavily, covering up the embarrassment with his fever as Seokjin turned around calmly, telling his friend that Namjoon wasn’t feeling well so they had to leave again. “I left your present on the table, it’s the one with the candy cane wrapping paper.”, he explained, taking Namjoon by his arm and leading him to the entrance. “We really don’t have to leave.”, Namjoon whined but Seokjin already helped him into his coat.

“I won’t risk your health for my fun. I won’t risk your health for anything, for that matter.”, Seokjin said, almost scolding him for not telling him that he’s not feeling well. The older one grabbed his scarf - the grey scarf -  and instead of putting it around himself, he pulled Namjoon, who was about to open the door for them, close and wrapped the grey woolen mess around his friend. “You don’t have to-”, Namjoon started but Seokjin cut him off with a genuine “I know, but I want to.” without the actual context of Namjoon’s sentence.

To Seokjin, it didn’t matter if Namjoon wanted to tell him not to leave the party or not to give him his scarf. They were walking towards the train station, Seokjin holding Namjoon who was leaning onto him, and the fresh air made Namjoon feel a little better. The street lights were blinding and fueled Namjoon’s headache. He was glad that they left the party but he felt guilty for denying Seokjin the fun he would have had without him at the party. “I should have stayed home.”, he whispered as they got into the train. Seokjin didn’t reply to this, he was just helping Namjoon to sit down.

“I’m sorry you have to bring me home…”, he added and Seokjin kneeled in front of him, checking his temperature again. “Don’t be. I don’t have to bring you home. I do this because I want to. If you haven’t noticed, I care for you.”, Seokjin explained, his voice as calm as a summer breeze that brushed through the trees. God, how much he liked to kiss Seokjin just now. If only he could. “Thank you.”, Namjoon mumbled, resting his head in the older one’s hands. Those words made Seokjin smile so sincere it almost seemed like he was in love. Maybe it’s the fever, Namjoon thought, yes, it must be. It’s the fever. Poor guy didn’t see it clearly enough.

The thought of Seokjin being in love with him seemed much nicer than the reality. The reality in which Namjoon was too shy to actually accept what was happening right in front of him. Another few minutes of silence before they got off the train. Seokjin was leading the way and after what seemed to be 15, maybe 17 steps down a road, Namjoon started to notice his surroundings. He never told Jin where he lived, so where were they going? After a few minutes of Seokjin talking to Namjoon about how he will prepare a hot bath for him and some tea, Namjoon realized that they were not going to his place. They were heading to Seokjin’s place.

The door opened without a sound and Namjoon was carrying his heavy feet over the threshold, leaning against the wall as he removed his shoes. Seokjin’s apartment was bigger than he expected it to be. He had a spacious kitchen that connected to a dining area. The living room was separated by a low wall and it was neatly decorated with a personal charm. There was a door with cherry blossoms drawn onto it, surrounding the word bathroom which was written in the prettiest font Namjoon has ever seen. Who knew a the word for bathroom could look so pretty?

Namjoon’s legs seemed to give in the second he got to the sofa, falling almost numbly on it. From that point on, he was part of a moment that he could not, for the love of god, ever dare to erase from his memory, no matter how dizzy his mind seemed, no matter how blurry the fever was making him see, he remembers this moment. He got the promised bath and a tea was waiting for him as he stepped out of the bathroom, wearing some of Seokjin’s clothes that only fit him because the older one bought the wrong size online. But even for Namjoon they were kinda loose.

He felt so much better after the bath as he sat down next to Seokjin, closing his eyes and leaning onto the other one’s shoulder. It was a peaceful sight. Seokjin grabbed a blanket to cover them up, enjoying Namjoon’s presence at his side. It happened that, as if they already were a couple for so long, Namjoon slid his arm behind Seokjin to grab his waist and hold him while Seokjin let his hand wander through the younger one’s freshly washed wet hair. They could stay like this forever. If time wouldn’t run against the. If eating and drinking were irrelevant to living. If sleep wouldn’t be needed… they could have sat like this for all eternity. But Namjoon felt like it wasn’t meant to be. It was too good to be true.

He read so many romance novels, he fell in love with every little thing Seokjin did for him. Things that people do out of kindness. Namjoon was so in love with the other that he feared this could be one sided. - Love makes you blind, even towards the obvious signs - The younger one leaned forward to grab his tea, making Seokjin shift in his seat. When he leaned back he let out a soft groan, feeling like his body was hurting all over. The moment was so nice just a few second ago.

He rubbed his face and Seokjin reached him a small towel, soaked in cold water. The towel made contact with his face and Namjoon felt better almost immediately, letting out a pleased sigh and leaning his head back. “You know.”, Seokjin started, eyes fixed on Namjoon, “I told you so.” - “What?”, Namjoon asked, gaze shifting towards the older man. “I told you that you would get sick.”, Seokjin said with a proud grin and Namjoon just let out a loud breath, a sigh that had nothing else to say. “You should get some rest.”, he added and stood up so that Namjoon could have the sofa for himself.

Of course, the younger one did not want this. Sure, he liked the idea of Seokjin taking care of him, he almost romanticized it, but he also felt like he would just bother him. He too rose from the sofa, ready to protest but Seokjin did not let him. He couldn’t even speak his first word before the older one pressed his fingers against Namjoon’s chest. A touch so featherlight it was almost unnoticeable, so soft and gentle it was ridiculous how easy he could push Namjoon back down into his seat. “Get some rest, Joonie~”, those words and Seokjin’s touch made Namjoon’s heart beat faster, “Don’t worry about your work, I already called your boss and told him you’re sick. I also took a day off tomorrow so I wouldn’t have to leave you alone tomorrow morning.”

It was as if Jin cast a spell on him. Namjoon nodded, eyes gazing up at the older one as his face got cupped into those magical hands of Seokjin. It was like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. The younger one didn’t know what Seokjin was about to do, why he would cup his face like this. Seokjin just smiled softly and Namjoon almost reached out for Seokjin’s hands to pull them back again as the gentle touch left his face. “Good night.” - “Good night.”

The next morning was almost like a fairytale. Namjoon woke up to the smell of some fresh seaweed soup. The sun was sheepishly peeking below the bottom of the curtains that were dancing in the wind. The clock was ticking rhythmically while the radio quietly praised the newest hits. Everything felt so relaxed and calm, little to no sound coming from buzzing electronics, and the smell of Seokjin’s cooking planted a seed in Namjoon’s heart - or rather let it sprout.

The thought of wanting to wake up like this every morning. The peaceful quiet with a soft humming in the background paired with the smell of home cooked food. His heart was beating so fast it almost hurt. It hurt him to be in love with Seokjin, unknowing if this was the sickness playing mind games with him or if it was the missing assurance. The missing assurance if Seokjin liked - no - if Seokjin loved him back. Within the heavenly atmosphere, Namjoon forced his body to function, forced it to continue working past the limit of opening his eyes. To get up and stretch, to wake up properly. “Ah, you’re up.”, Seokjin said from the kitchen as he heard noises from the living area.

The brightness of the sun was blinding Namjoon as he turned to face the older one. “Breakfast is almost ready.”, he added as Namjoon trotted over, feeling like he is the only heavy thing in this light world. “Am I dead?”, the younger asked as he got closer to the kitchen and Seokjin started to laugh. “What? Why would you say something like that?”, he chuckled and Namjoon took a deep breath to let the aroma of the soup fill his body. “This feels so unreal.”, he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

Seokjin couldn’t help but stare and Namjoon couldn’t help but notice. He turned away, pretending to take a look around. “You can take a shower if you want to. The food will be ready by then. Your temperature lowered at some point but the fever still wore you out. A shower might refresh you.”, Seokjin suggested and pointed towards the bathroom, in case Namjoon forgot. The younger one nodded, smiling at Seokjin before hurrying into the bathroom. As he entered the bathroom he noticed that Seokjin already prepared some clothes for him again. He was really something.

How he took care of Namjoon. How he spend time with him. How he made him laugh and smile. How he made Namjoon think that romance does exists in the real world. That love isn’t something reserved for people in fiction. His eyes wandered towards the mirror, taking in how messy he looked. God, he looked terrible. I must have looked even worse yesterday, Namjoon thought before undressing to step into the shower. While he showered, he imagined how it would be to shower together with Seokjin. The innocent thought of taking a shower with the other one, turned into unspeakable thoughts of wanting to feel Seokjin’s touch against his skin.

When he finished the shower and got back all dressed, the food was ready and arranged on the table, just like Seokjin promised. It was incredible how smooth everything went. Of course they ate together a lot, and the only thing that was different was the time. Yet, Namjoon felt like it shouldn’t be going this smooth. Like there should be something that made this weird. Just something that made both of them feel weird. There was nothing like that. They felt too comfortable around each other as to ever consider anything weird ever again. He sat down on the opposite side of Seokjin, still a little irritated. “I hope you like seaweed soup.”, Seokjin said as he showed Namjoon all the things he cooked.

It was all a dream, Namjoon thought. This is an image made up by his ill mind. It must be the fever, he thought, despite feeling as alive and awake as always - if not more than ever - especially after the shower. “Yeah. I love seaweed soup.”, he replied and with smiles on their faces, they started to eat. There was something different about Seokjin but Namjoon couldn't tell. They ate in a peaceful silence, letting the radio sing and talk to them while Namjoon was trying to figure out what it was with Seokjin. He looked so handsome, so beautiful and overall too good to be true, even when he was just eating casually in his own home. Meanwhile, Seokjin was thinking about how they spend the last night together.

How they cuddled on the couch as if nothing else mattered. How he called Namjoon’s boss, telling him that he had a fever and how his boss told him to take care of Namjoon because he is his most precious worker. How Seokjin called Ms. Choi and told her that he won’t be able to show up the next day because he could not leave Namjoon alone. How he prepared tea and clothes for Namjoon. How he checked his temperature and placed a cold towel on his forehead while the younger one was asleep. How he checked on him multiple times after Namjoon fell asleep. How the younger one almost burned under his touch. Seokjin felt like he was melting. He wished to take care of Namjoon every day.

It was after their breakfast that Namjoon felt lost, not knowing what to do. He felt good enough to go home, yet he wanted to stay with the other. He was helping to clean up but after that, he just stood there, playing with the holes of the sweater that Seokjin gave him. “What’s wrong?”, the older man asked as he approached his damsel in distress, joyfully taking his hands. “Nothing I just… I just don’t know what to do.”, Namjoon mumbled and Seokjin nodded his head.

A smile played with Seokjin’s lips and Namjoon wished it would be placed on his, but his wish was not granted. “We could just spend the rest of the day together, until you feel good enough to go home.”, Seokjin suggested, softly swinging their hands from left to right. “And even if you already feel good enough, you’re still free to stay.”, he added and Namjoon smiled, nodding his head in agreement before they spend the rest of the day together, watching movies and laughing together. The guilt of robbing Seokjin of his friend’s birthday party was long gone and only a faint memory of Namjoon.

~*~

The bistro was stuffed with people, both guests and workers. It was a rough day since a lot of people came to watch some sports game. Seokjin had not time to pay attention to the happenings on the lcd screen as he was busy to take orders and deliver food to several tables while his co-workers all struggled with the same task. Another cola here, some sparkling water over there, a steak on table number 17, and by any chance a tip by the nice old ladies that were treated to dinner by their husbands.

“You’re doing well.”, Ms. Choi remarked as she caught Seokjin washing his hands while waiting for the kitchen to finish his order. “Thank you. I can’t let you down, can I?”, he chuckled and Ms. Choi would have stayed longer if the house wouldn’t have been so full. It’s been a few days - a week and two days - since he took care of Namjoon. The younger one was feeling better already and he kept praising Seokjin for his cooking skills. Seokjin promised Namjoon to cook for him again in the future. They were both looking forward to it.

October barely left, leaving behind rainy days and cold winds, but November was already armed to the teeth with storms and dark nights. The orders went out and with time passing, so did the guests. The game was over and the local team won, ironically earning Seokjin and his fellow workers ridiculous amounts of tips. People don’t usually tip at all. It’s just not common. “It’s barely even noon.”, Ms. Choi said, checking her watch. “It was an early game today.”, Seokjin commented and the older woman just shrugged.

There were a few guests still coming in afterwards, being glad that the atmosphere of the game has long settled somewhere else. The bar closed shortly afterwards because no one would be interested in drinks this early. The kitchen was slowing down and the workers were free to take a break while business was mild. Ms. Choi kept encouraging Seokjin and asked him about Namjoon. It was at this day that he was actually shy to talk about Namjoon. Within the last days, his feelings for Namjoon only grew and it was hard to hold back.

“When will the day come where I don’t have to hold back?”, he whispered, more to himself than to his boss, and she patted his shoulder. “When you both are ready. Just get the right timing.”, she uttered, looking up at him. “You’re a good man, and this Namjoon seems to be a good man too. You deserve each other.” You deserve each other, those words made Seokjin’s inside feel warm and longing for Namjoon even more. “I hope I will ask him before December.”, he uttered, watching the guests that silently ate in the bistro. His boss chuckled. “So you will get a huge birthday present, huh?” - “Eh, won’t hurt.”, Seokjin joked, playfully shrugging to lift the corners of their mouths into a smile.  

After business started to slow down, it felt like time was crawling. The sudden calm after the storm, after this haste, made all of the workers clueless. Ms. Choi send some of them home, one of them being Seokjin. “You don’t have to send me home. I can still do some work.”, He complained but he was no match to his boss. She told him that he would just be in the way, since Haru and Minseok still had to get the hours back that they lost for leaving earlier last week. Defeated, he went to change, grabbing his grey umbrella that Namjoon got him, before leaving his workplace. As he looked at the murky sky, he thought about what Namjoon was doing right now. On his day off.

A miracle that he would even get a day off. He has just been sick, yet his boss was as joyful as ever, even more so when he announced that Namjoon would take the office of running the library. His boss was more grateful than he originally showed. Despite it not being the case, the old man felt like he was responsible for Namjoon getting sick. He decided to give Namjoon another two days off while he took care of the paperwork so Namjoon just had to sign in the next day when he came to work. Two days of not going to eat with Seokjin after work. But other than that, everything was going well for Namjoon.

Both rain and sun were far away that day. The sky was tinted in an ugly grey tone that did not allow any play of colours. The clouds were dull and flat, no sun was there to give them a little more dimension. The clouds were flying far above Namjoon’s head as he made his way to the second hand book store that he loved so dearly. The door was wide open, despite the cold that crept into people’s jackets.

“Good day, my dear. I was hoping to see you soon.”, the old lady greeted him as his feet carried him inside. The second he stepped in, he felt the comfort he felt at home. The smile in his face was wide and cheerful. The smile on the lady’s face was small but affectionate. “Good day. I have great news!”, Namjoon announced and the lady’s smile grew wider on her thin lips.

He did not need to look around the store. The books he wanted were always at the counter. The old lady would always pick out some book he might like so he could come and chose. Sometimes he looked around afterwards, but he never found anything better than what the store owner suggested to him.

“Really? Is it about the young man you are seeing?”, she asked and Namjoon shook his head. It was at this moment that he realised that he didn’t even tell her about his job offer. All he talked about was Seokjin. “Sadly, no.”, he chuckled as he stepped closer to see what the lady chose for him. “It’s about my job. I got a promotion.”, Namjoon announced and the lady was clapping her hands before taking one of Namjoon’s huge hands into both her petite hands. She squeezed his hand tightly and spoke: “Really? That’s amazing! I knew you would be treated better one day. You really deserve this. Now tell me, what is it that you do now?”

“I’m... the boss of the library now.”, Namjoon replied, stumbling over his words as he was still trying to comprehend the importance of his new position. His words almost took the old lady’s breath away. “Oh my! Really? This is even better than I though.”, she cheered, small hands still wrapped around Namjoon’s. Namjoon smiled quickly before his eyes fell onto the books laid out for him. Three books. They all were all pretty interesting books. Dark covers and leather backs with golden fonts, all three of them. Something more historical, it seemed, as he flipped through the first few pages of each of them with his free hand.

The old lady let go of Namjoon’s hand and started to pack all three of the books. Namjoon frowned, asking what this was about. “Because it’s a special occasion.”, the lady replied. “I’ll let you keep all three. It’s on me.” Namjoon’s eyes went wide as she pressed the books towards him. “I can’t accept it.”, Namjoon protested but the store owner insisted he keeps them.

“You’ve done more than enough for my little shop. Now you have your own library to look after. If you don’t want to accept my gift, I will donate the books to your library. Either way, it’s on me.”, she said, the smile on her face ever so present and motherly that Namjoon did not dare to say ‘no’ another time. Reluctantly, he took the bag and bowed to the old lady, thanking her and wishing her a good day. He promised to come again soon, but reality was looking different for him since the next day.

Once he got out of the shop, he took a picture of the books in the plastic bag to send it to Seokjin. Despite feeling bad for not paying for them, he was thrilled to have three new books and wanted to share his haul with Seokjin. Much to his surprise, Seokjin immediately replied to his message.

Amazing, how much did those cost? They look expensive! They probably were, but Namjoon did not know. He would check the web once he’s home. They were a gift. Namjoon replied. Seconds later: Don’t you have to work, Seokjin? - Don’t worry Joonie~ ♥ My boss let me go early because there was nothing else to do at work. Do you want to meet?

The question let his heart skip a beat. Yes, of course he wanted to meet. But he also wanted to read the books. His fingers were already itching to stroke the pages one by one while the words would build up sceneries in his head. He took a second to stop and look at the books which were waving with the plastic bag. Was he really considering to spend another day in fiction when he could spend a day with Seokjin in the real world? Wasn’t the real world good enough to set aside the books for a while?

His gaze wandered back to his phone, knowing Seokjin was waiting for a response. Yes, I’d love to. The words popped up on the screen and his message was delivered to the older one. A few minutes later, Seokjin asked him if Namjoon had been to the Aquarium in Seoul yet, and a few hours later, they met up to go there. “I can’t believe you’ve never been to the Aquarium.”, Seokjin repeated for what seemed to be the third time that day. “I can’t believe you are still saying this.”, Namjoon joked and they followed masses of people.

The train was packed and many people planned to visit the Aquarium, just like Seokjin and Namjoon. They reached the ticket booth and waited in line to get inside. Amongst all those people, young and old, the couple stuck out like a sore thumb. Two handsome, tall men amongst old grannies and family fathers. Within the moving masses, Namjoon almost did not notice Seokjin pulling at the hem of his sleeve. Long fingers luring out the younger one’s from the protecting warmth of the cotton sweater.

Seokjin’s fingers were warm, as usual, but not sweaty. Their hands didn’t entwine like they did before. The backs of their hands stroked against each other, fingers softly brushing against each other, fingertips slightly curling in an attempt to wrap around the other’s. Such a soft and delicate touch that made Namjoon’s heart flutter and Seokjin’s cheeks burn.

The inside of the Aquarium was huge. Filled with people, and even more - who would have guessed - fish in water tanks. The colours and climate inside the house were almost weird compared to the cold autumn breath outside. Namjoon was studying the posters and plates while Seokjin was paying more attention to the fish itself. Despite having been there before, Seokjin liked the Aquarium and it always amazed him.

“Are you just going to read the plates or will you look at the fish too, Joonie?”, Seokjin teased and for some reason, those words made Namjoon uncomfortable. They almost hurt. The younger one did not reply. His gaze rose to look at the fishtank, lips stretching into a soft smile for a few seconds. “That’s what we’re here for, right?”, Seokjin added, patting Namjoon’s shoulder, receiving a nod in reply.

If Namjoon was honest, which he wasn’t in that moment, he didn’t care about the fish at all. He wasn’t there for the fish. He wanted to spend time with Seokjin, not with some stinky fish in a way too small tank. The further they advanced, the bigger the tanks got, but that didn’t mean Namjoon liked the fish any more. He did not feel complete by just looking at the fish and sea creatures. He caught himself skimming through the info of each tank again, making Seokjin chuckle every time he did.

“I think you will like what comes next.”, Seokjin smiled, leading Namjoon through the masses of people around them. Usually, Namjoon would feel confusion rather than anything else, but those times have long passed where confusion was replaced with excitement. His gaze was fixed on Seokjin, not wanting to lose him among all the people. It was when the older one stopped walking, standing in some kind of large door frame. The walls were sparkling, and so was the ceiling.

Despite the Aquarium being full with people, this part was rather empty of visitors. It took Namjoon a whole minute to find what Seokjin wanted to show him. “Amazing, isn’t it?”, the older one said and Namjoon’s jaw dropped as he saw the glass floor that revealed the fish tank underneath. “You can see right into the tank.”, Namjoon mumbled impressed. He didn’t even know why he was this impressed. It must be the change of perspective, he thought. “The glass won’t break, right?”, he added and Seokjin laughed, leaving his question unanswered.

Carefully, Namjoon took a step forward. The fish underneath didn’t even notice. The light got reflected by the surface of the water, breaking through the glass floor and sparkling against everything above. It was a sight that almost hypnotized Namjoon. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, making the lights dance over his dimples. As he looked up again, to face his friend, he was met by a look in Seokjin’s eyes that made his heart skip a beat. A look so tender and pure, so full of love, one could think the older one didn’t take his eyes off of Namjoon for even a single second.

Namjoon’s heart was beating fast, so fast he was afraid it would jump out of his chest. Even faster, when Seokjin got closer, wrapping an arm around Namjoon’s waist to pull him to his side and stroll over the glass floor. Once they passed through that area, they decided to take a little break. Namjoon left Seokjin’s side as he hurried into the restroom to calm down. He was faced by a wide mirror and as he saw his burning red face in the reflection, he got even more embarrassed.

The water was cold and that was what he needed. Cold, but not painfully biting like the cold wind outside. He patted his face with wet hands as he tried to shoo the blood rush away. His heart was still beating fast. His head was filled with questions. Questions like: Did Seokjin notice the I blushed? Did he mind? What does he think about me? Namjoon groaned, eyes shut tightly, as he rubbed his face. What would he give for the ability to know what other people are thinking? Why was it so hard to ask a person what they feel?

No- he couldn’t just ask him. What if he doesn’t like me that way? I can’t ask such a question. That would ruin our friendship, Namjoon thought. Open eyes glance at the reflection in the mirror. The blush was gone and Namjoon took another deep breath before going out to spend the rest of his time with Seokjin. He was prepared to see Seokjin. What he was not prepared for was seeing Seokjin talking to a rather pretty girl. His heart was stuck in his throat as he started approaching his friend and the stranger. “You work in a bistro? Wow! Maybe I should visit… when’s your next shift?”, she suggested and Seokjin laughed. He was rubbing his hands behind his back, a sign that the older one was nervous. It made Namjoon nervous.

Just a few steps separated him from his friend. The younger one swallowed hard and took the steps, little by little, bumping into a young man on his way. His rather loud apology got Seokjin’s attention. His head turned and his eyes smiled as he saw him approach. “Ah, Namjoon. Good that you’re here.”, Seokjin said, his arm stretching out to grasp for the younger one, pulling him close to him and the stranger. Namjoon felt weird and sad about seeing Seokjin with this girl. Almost heartbroken. Not even Seokjin’s hand that was resting on Namjoon’s back could cure this pain.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. You seemed very-” - “Oh, don’t worry.”, Seokjin cut him off and looked at his watch. “Oh!”, the shock in Jin’s voice convinced everyone, “look at the time. I’m sorry, uh, Soohyun?” - “Soyoung.” - “Right, Soyoung. I’m sorry but we have to hurry. Make sure to check out the bistro. You coming, Joonie?”, Seokjin said, almost too hastily, before the two men left the girl behind.

Despite his words being rushed, his steps were calm. It seemed contradictory. Namjoon frowned, especially as he saw Seokjin’s smiling face that was calmly looking at the fish in a tank near the exit. “Nice acting.”, Namjoon laughed, as he finally understood what Seokjin did. The older one couldn’t help but chuckle. “Acting? What do you mean?”, he asked innocently and Namjoon shook his head. “Nothing.”, he replied, still smiling before they ended their Aquarium date.

“So?”, Seokjin asked as the two of them sat down next to each other while the train departed. “So, what?”, Namjoon asked and Seokjin laughed. “So what did you think about the Aquarium? Did you have fun?”, the older one added and Namjoon smiled. How much did he wish to be honest. How much did he wish to just say how uncomfortable he actually felt.

“Yes. I really liked the part with the glass floor.”, Namjoon said after a while of thinking. Sure, it felt weird at first and Namjoon would prefer not to visit the Aquarium again, but he didn’t want to tell Seokjin. “And?”, Seokjin asked, raising a brow. Namjoon didn’t know what to say. The fabric of his coat rustled as he shrugged and Seokjin smirked. “You’re thinking.” Namjoon nodded.

“Was it that bad?” Namjoon gulped at Seokjin’s question. How could Seokjin read him so well? How could he know what he was thinking? Just moments before, Namjoon wished to read Seokjin’s mind, why would he be cursed with the other way around? “It wasn’t bad… just… I- I wasn’t as interested from the start.”, Namjoon confessed and started fiddling with his hands.

It was a moment where Namjoon wished for Seokjin to hold his hand, but something was different that day. Seokjin patted Namjoon’s thigh, uttering a soft “That’s ok.” before drawing his hand back to burry it in his pockets where they stayed for the rest of the ride. The atmosphere was heavy and pressed onto Namjoon’s shoulders, letting them sag down. Yet, Seokjin was sitting upright like nothing could reach him. Namjoon was wondering what the older one was thinking about - he still does.

~*~

It was in the middle of November. Namjoon did well as the new owner and boss of the library. All his co workers cheered for him and threw a big party. As expected, Namjoon’s first order as the new boss was to re arrange the bookshelves. From that point on, the old books wouldn’t be pushed into old shelves, way in the back of the library. He made sure that books of all ages would be presented equally, which lead to people picking up old books more often.

“See, I told you the library would run great with you as the boss.”, Hoseok said, looking at his friend - who now was his boss - while standing in the door frame to his office. A smile crept on Namjoon’s face as he looked up from his paper work. Somehow Hoseok was right when he said Namjoon could read all day long once he was the boss. None of them did consider paperwork as one of the lectures. “Hoseok…”, Namjoon said, laying down his pen and leaning back, feeling the pain in his back from being hunched over too long.

“It’s late, why are you still here?”, Namjoon asked and Hoseok shrugged, entering the office. “Hey, I can be hard working.”, he joked and the two of them laughed. “I know that you’re hardworking… but the library is not-”, Namjoon said but Hoseok cut into his words. “Oh come on. The library is everyone’s safe place and you-”, Hoseok said but then it was Namjoon who cut into his words. “Hoseok, I know how much of a safe place this is but… you don’t overstay if you don’t have to. Your shift has been over 15 minutes ago… and you don’t leave work that late unless something is bothering you.” The smile on Hoseok’s face didn’t fade even a bit.

“No, it’s just… there has been a delivery and a letter addressed to you. I forgot to tell you. That’s all.”, Hoseok explained and left shortly after. Checking his watch, Namjoon realised that he was late for his meeting with Seokjin. Meeting. The word made his stomach turn as he got up to grab his jacket. What a businesslike term… meeting. They would just hang out and eat together, talking about their days. He left his office and locked the door. He told the other office workers that got ready to leave to have a good night and asked them to lock the library when they leave. So far, they always did.

Once he was out of the building, he grabbed his phone to call Seokjin. The voice he was met by sounded sad, almost hurt. “I was afraid you would forget about me.”, the older one said and something inside of Namjoon felt like crying. His heart was hurting. “I’m sorry.”, Namjoon said, hurrying along the way that would lead to the restaurant they picked. I was thinking about you all day, he thought, but he could not speak those thoughts. “I’ll hurry, I promise. Please wait for me.”, he said instead and before he hung up, he heard Seokjin’s faint “of course.” through the speaker of his phone.

Time added up and Namjoon entered the restaurant 20 minutes late, afraid Seokjin might have left already. No, he wouldn’t do that, Namjoon thought and as he couldn’t spot him, he felt miserable. A waitress approached him. “Can I help you, Sir?”, she asked and Namjoon nodded hastily. “I am looking for my friend. He is about this tall, handsome, has blonde hair and-”, he started and the waitress smiled. “I’ve seen him. He was sitting at the table over there just a while ago.”, she explained and Namjoon felt like his heart was shrinking inside his chest. “He went to the bar to grab a drink while waiting. I can show you.” The words of the young lady gave him new hope and a smile stretched across his face.

She lead him to the bar where Seokjin was sitting. Their eyes met and there was something in Seokjin’s eyes. Something, that Namjoon has seen before. The innocence and wonder, something he saw in them when they first met. The older one wasn’t wearing his glasses, yet he didn’t look any less handsome to Namjoon. It was their first meeting all over again. Seokjin’s handsomeness was taking Namjoon’s breath away once again and the remains of panic in Namjoon’s eyes made Seokjin feel like he had to protect him from all harm. To hold him for all eternity.

The younger one sat down next to Seokjin, both not taking their eyes off of each other. “You came.”, Seokjin finally said to break the silence. His tone was quiet, like a whisper, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear it but Namjoon. Yet, Namjoon heard it loud and clear, as if Seokjin’s voice was inside of his head. The feeling, the atmosphere, everything screamed for Namjoon to just be with Seokjin.

Ever since he was sick and Seokjin took care of him, he felt as if they were less close. How they cuddled on Seokjin’s sofa. It was so nice, and it was the last time they have been that close. Namjoon thought it was his fault. The touch they shared at the aquarium - earlier that month - was faint and awkward. It was nice at some point, but somehow it just felt out of place. However, it was an experience they had to make. But that didn’t matter then, when they sat in the bar.

“Can I treat you to a drink before we eat?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon looked around. Huge amounts of bottles, all with different names. What got Namjoon’s attention were the gin bottles. What kind of weird names they had. “A gin, perhaps?”, Seokjin asked teasingly as he noticed Namjoon’s gaze sticking with the variety of juniper berry spirits. Namjoon had to smirk. “I don’t need Gordon’s or Hendrick’s. You’re the only Jin I need.”, He joked and he was way too proud of his joke.

For a good reason, it was amazing. Even Seokjin thought so. His laugh echoed through the bar and almost brought tears to his eyes. He was holding his side as he slowly calmed down, breathing out the laughter in long pauses as he looked at Namjoon with a wide grin. Everything inside the younger one was burning up. If they wouldn’t have been in public, if the barkeeper and several other guests - that were looking at them closely because of Seokjin’s outburst - wouldn’t have been there, Namjoon would have given in to everything. He wasn’t alone with that thought.

Everything was right, for Seokjin. His mind was making him go crazy, chanting to kiss Namjoon right now, but his body took control to prevent it. Not here, not now, Seokjin thought, no matter how much it pained him to hold back. “I don’t think I need a drink.”, Seokjin uttered as he stroked his cheek in an attempt to push back imaginary glasses. “Me neither.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin took it as a sign to get up and get back to their table. The restaurant was fancy and the waiters were nice and professional.

Seokjin would have envied them, for being able to work in a nice ambiance like this, any other day, but that day he just hoped everyone envied him. He hoped they envied him for spending the evening with the most amazing person in the entire universe. The food was delicious and Namjoon wished he could take out Seokjin to dinner dates like this more often. They didn’t talk much. When they did, they threw around with compliments, whether they were aimed towards the food, the restaurant, or each other.

Their hearts were beating together, a harmony that was impossible to go by unnoticed by the rest of the symphony called life. They were in love and longing for each other without knowing it - or rather, without letting anyone else know.

The night was dark and cold. The rain was falling down again, even in the later hours of the night. Namjoon wasn’t sure if the little light in the sky was an airplane or a star. The part of him that was fueled by romance and innocence already fell in love with the thought of it being a star, but his consciousness was harshly scolding him with facts that made him believe it’s just an airplane, high up in the polluted sky. He sighed, which was a sign for Seokjin to slip his hand into Namjoon’s.

As his thumbs stroked over Namjoon’s hand, Seokjin followed the younger one’s gaze towards the illuminated object in the sky. It was way too small and too far away for Seokjin to see without his glasses. “Tell me about your day.”, he whispered, eyes drifting off to Namjoon. The younger one’s head lowered, lips mumbling stretched “Hmmm”-sounds into his scarf as he tried to think of anything other than his work all day. He couldn’t think of anything worth mentioning and just shrugged. The older one mimicked his action, a puzzled look on his face, getting Namjoon’s attention.

“Papers, mostly. Finances and orders… nothing interesting… oh and I read a book.”, Namjoon explained and Seokjin nodded his head. “Tell me about that book you read.”, he said and Namjoon did not know where to start. “Well, there is this guy who is in a lot of trouble.”, Namjoon explained slowly, Seokjin’s eyebrow raising by the vagueness of the other’s words.

“His name is Abraham. It’s not a Korean book. We wants to rob a bank- wait, maybe I should explain why… no that would take too long. Let’s just say, he thinks that the only thing he can do.”, Namjoon continued, using his free hand to express himself more freely. “Anyways, he is on his way to rob this bank but once he gets to the counter, he is faced by this woman that takes his breath away and suddenly, he doesn’t want to rob this bank anymore, you know?” - “He fell in love with the woman?” - “Yeah. And he planned to hurt people but once he saw her he didn’t want to anymore.”

“Do you like romance novels?”, Seokjin asked and the question caught Namjoon off guard. He slowly nodded his head as if he wanted to confirm this information for himself, too. Reading was a hobby, he was aware of that. But his favourite genre being romance? He never really settled on that. Every book has at least some romance in it, doesn’t it?, he thought to himself, eyes drifting off to his hand that was being held by Seokjin.

The plain grey umbrella Seokjin was holding might give them shelter from the rain, but it was nothing compared to Seokjin’s pastel pink one. The feeling just wasn’t right. It became kind of a recognisable theme, something that just felt like a part of Seokjin. The day Namjoon broke it by accident was the day his heart broke in guilt, thinking that Seokjin would be mad or abandon him. But he didn’t. Seokjin was quite sad but he did not hate Namjoon for it.

It’s just an umbrella, he said back then - It’s just an umbrella, he still says to this day - and Namjoon bought him this grey umbrella to make up for it. Words won’t say it out loud, but Namjoon might have missed the pastel pink one more than Seokjin did. “Have you thought about writing your own love story?”, Seokjin asked, smiling innocently and without an ulterior motive for Namjoon to spot. “What was that?”, he asked, brows knitting together, trying to see if he really heard him right. “Have you thought about writing your own love story?”, Seokjin asked again, still this sweet smile on his lips - whichs’ taste Namjoon still fantasized about until that day.

“No… I’m more of a reader than a writer. I’m not good at writing.”, he said, and shrugged again, a sign that he actually did not know if he really was. “Have you tried?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon shook his head. There was a long pause after that. Their gazes slowly drifted away from each other as they walked up the stairs that would lead them to the well known path of getting home - or at least to the train station.

With the nights getting longer and both of them spending more and more time until late after midnight, the street to the platform was almost empty except for them. They knew the train would come in a few minutes. By now, after all this time, they finally got a hang of this whole not-missing-the-train thing. They got quite good actually. Wet leaves and some mud were carried by hasty feet, covering plenty of the small station in dirty spots over the day. No one cared to clean it up that late.

Seokjin checked his watch. “Can you promise me something?”, the older man asked, handing his umbrella to Namjoon. Confused and curious, Namjoon held onto it. The lights at the station were dim, very dim, or broken. Even their phones would have emitted more light. “Sure, what do you want?”, Namjoon asked and watched as Seokjin let go of his hand for a moment, raising his arms to stretch his tired limbs. “Please, write your own love story”, Seokjin uttered and Namjoon started to chuckle, “with me in it.”

Namjoon stopped. What did he just say?, he asked himself, trying to get an answer from the other man. “I don’t think I understand.”, Namjoon mumbled, trying to make eye contact with Seokjin, who kept the gaze of his smiling face fixed on the ground. “Let me be part of your love story.”, he demanded and the gears in Namjoon’s head were turning against each other. “I don’t think… I understand.”, Namjoon repeated and Seokjin’s smile grew a bit, whispering a faint ‘you said that before’ over his lips.

The older one’s whole body turned towards Namjoon, head lifting with a smile that could tell a million words the other would want to hear and eyes that could tell him a million lies that he would all believe, just by the way Seokjin looks at him. One of the things that send a shiver down Namjoon’s spine was the look Seokjin gave him. A look - shining through only for a faint second - that told him ‘I want you’ without words.

“Write it and let me be the love interest of the main character.”, Seokjin hummed and as his words slipped into Namjoon’s head, the older one’s fingers intertwined with Namjoon’s again. They stood close - so close - in front of each other, almost wrapped around the base of the umbrella. The ground felt like it was shaking.

“Who would that be?”, Namjoon breathed, feeling a rush of adrenaline going through him as soon as Seokjin got closer, whispering “You.” against his lips before pulling down the umbrella to shield the curious eyes of the people in the arriving train from their kiss.

The train that just arrived and whose inside lights engulfed both of them, sparkling like fireworks with every window frame that did not want the light to escape into the night. The train whose breeze let the ends of their coats dance around their figures as it slowed down to open its doors. They did not care. The cold that was nibbling on Seokjin’s lips before was replaced by what he was longing for for so long. The warmth of Namjoon’s lips paired with the taste of the one glass of wine they had while eating.

Namjoon was giving in slowly, unsure how to react to this sudden attack on his lips. It wasn’t that he did not want to kiss Seokjin - oh no, he was actually craving it for a long while - but rather that he didn’t know how to kiss him. He was not prepared for this. It was when their lips were about to part, because of Seokjin’s insecurity that he might have been too straightforward, that Namjoon let go of the other’s hand to glide it over Seokjin’s neck to pull him close again, aiming for another, longer kiss.

Their lips were almost crashing into each other - typical for Namjoon to be so harsh that he almost destroys everything - and Seokjin’s hand found itself around Namjoon’s hip. A little pause, letting them both breathe, and another try, much more careful and soft then before. The lights around them faded, another fresh breeze rushing past them while playing with their coats - the train departed - while the two of them were busy figuring out how to make the kiss more comfortable.

Namjoon was the first to tilt his head slightly, trying to figure out a good angle that let their lips collide to the fullest, rewarding him with the sweet taste of Seokjin’s full lips. His heart was beating so fast he feared to pass out. Even if I would pass out, he thought, it would have been worth it. Every second of it. Their lips were pulsing against each other, sucking in each other’s taste while denying air to get through.

What they have been longing for after all this time finally happened. Shortly after their lips go used to each other, their kiss broke apart, leaving them gasping for air and wanting more. Their eyes slowly fluttered open and Seokjin’s eyes were shining brighter than the stars in the night sky. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”, he whispered, letting his thumb stroke along Namjoon’s jawline.

The younger one’s heart was racing, together with his breath. “I- I didn’t know.”, Namjoon mumbled, his head trembling because of the blood rushing into his cheeks. “I had no idea that you liked me in that way.” - “What do you mean, you had no idea?”, Seokjin scoffed, letting his hands wander over Namjoon’s shoulder. “I held your hand.”, Seokjin whispered, letting his hand run down Namjoon’s arm to take his hand like he did for the first time.

“I pulled you close.”, Seokjin added, wrapping his other arm around Namjoon’s waist like he did when the younger one was protecting them from the rain with his coat. Their faces were so close again and Namjoon couldn’t help but to place another kiss on Seokjin’s lips. It was quick and impulsive but Seokjin didn’t mind. For some reason, Namjoon was embarrassed for not being able to hold back his desire to kiss Seokjin.

“I send off a thousand signals… I was started to doubt you really liked me.”, the older one mumbled against Namjoon’s lips as they broke their kiss apart. “I didn’t get the signals.”, Namjoon confessed, and that’s when the bubble inside his head popped. He did get the signals, but he never thought Seokjin was doing them out of affection. “Isn’t it ironic? You read so many romance novels, yet you didn’t spot the romance that was right in front of you.”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon had to chuckle.

“Maybe that’s exactly why.”, the younger one mumbled, smiling shyly as he tightened the grip around Seokjin’s hand, stroking the back of the other’s hand with his thumb. Nothing mattered then. The only thing that mattered was that they had found each other. The past they build up together, spending nights together, walking the same familiar road towards the train station. And the fact that they both were deeply in love with each other.

The night was quiet and every time Seokjin smiled, Namjoon was like hot butter in his arms. “We missed our train.”, Namjoon mumbled as the older one rested his head on his shoulder. “I know, and I would do it again, if it meant that I could kiss you.”, Seokjin replied teasingly and Namjoon smiled wide. “We don’t have to miss our train for that.”, the younger one replied and Seokjin gladly took the hint, engaging in another long kiss with his lover.

~*~

Within a few weeks, their relationship only grew from that point on. From that night on, the night they kissed at the train station, everything went uphill. Seokjin had a few days off where he would visit Namjoon in the library or Namjoon would spend some time with Seokjin after work. The more they held back in public, sharing touches and stealing kisses from each other, the less they had to hold back once they were alone, where the air felt like it was electrified, sparks going off with every opportunity that cut through the tension.

The sofa wasn’t only for watching movies together. It was a place of sensual touches and kisses that let the happenings, of whatever they were watching on TV, fade into the background. There was nothing left of the cold November nights once they sat there together. The first week was experimental, trying out how far they could go with each other. Seokjin was the one that lead the ‘experiment’, engaging in kisses and caressing Namjoon while the younger one was melting like wax in his hands. Namjoon was enjoying every second of Seokjin’s touches. He was enjoying that he didn’t have to hide his feelings anymore.

Even more, he enjoyed that Seokjin seemed to love him back so dearly the younger one didn’t even have to ask him for anything. Seokjin just knew. It was at the beginning of their second week, the last week of November, where things started to go faster, knowing that they were both ok with more than just simple kisses and an arm around the other one’s shoulder.

They met at Seokjin’s place mostly and Namjoon sometimes felt more at home in the older one’s living room than he did in his own flat. He was planning to move out anyways, since he got the raise. His home was more of a place to be, other than at work or at Seokjin’s place. A place, where his books were waiting for him to be read and not only stored.

The movie they picked started to bore Seokjin after the first 20 minutes. The story was way too repetitive and the protagonist was running away all the time. Within 20 minutes! Seokjin didn’t even have to do the whole pretend-to-yawn show to get his arm around Namjoon - not that he would’ve ever needed it - since the last weeks. His arm was resting on the younger one’s shoulder but his fingers were itching to wander down Namjoon’s back and sneak underneath his shirt.

Filled with heavy thoughts of things he would rather do, Seokjin’s head fell onto Namjoon’s shoulder. The younger one smiled and wrapped his arm around Seokjin’s waist. His fingers were playing with the hem of Seokjin’s pullover as he felt the older one’s breath against his neck. Soon, kisses followed Seokjin’s breath, trailing along the younger one’s neck, daring to suck on his skin to leave a love bite.

“Am I that much more interesting than the movie?”, Namjoon chuckled, running his hand up and down Seokjin’s side. “Honestly? Yes, you are. Is that even a real question?”, Seokjin replied, his voice light and innocent, just the way Namjoon loved it. Seokjin didn’t knew that his voice was most attractive to Namjoon when it was like this. It had an effect on Namjoon. Not the manipulative kind. Just the kind of effect that makes one remember why they fell in love with this person while slowly falling in love again.

“The movie isn’t that good anyways.”, Namjoon hummed, distracted by the older one’s kisses. “Thank god.”, Seokjin laughed as he stroked Namjoon’s cheek before pulling himself up to grace the younger one’s lips with a passionate kiss. It was so powerful that Namjoon almost forgot to breathe. As quick as Seokjin’s hand found itself caressing Namjoon’s face, it wandered down to the younger one’s butt. “Come here~”, Seokjin whispered, shifting in his seat to pull Namjoon closer, having the younger one sitting on his lap without a complaint.

The hand that formerly rested on Namjoon’s shoulder had then made its way beneath his shirt, caressing his skin with featherlight touches, stroking up and down his back. Namjoon’s hand found its way to the back of Seokjin’s head, running his fingers through the older one’s hair, while the other hand was wrapped around Seokjin’s waist.

Both of them couldn’t keep their hands to themselves - not that they even wanted to - while they were busy exploring this moment of sensuality. It was when Seokjin gave in to the moment, getting carried away for a short moment, that he found himself firmly squeezing Namjoon’s butt cheek. The younger one let a surprised moan escape into their kiss, opening the barrier for their tongues to collide.

It was their second french kiss, yet it didn’t feel any less exciting than the first one. Their first one was when Seokjin visited Namjoon in the library. He surprised him with home cooked seaweed soup that they shared in Namjoon’s office. He couldn’t remember how they engaged it back then. He only knew Seokjin’s was leaning against the desk and the taste of the soup was still prominent on his lips.

Despite their second kiss having a little less taste, it had just enough spice to turn up the mood. The sound of the television was slowly fading into the background as the two of them started pushing each other deeper into the cushions of the sofa. Namjoon felt a fire burning inside him with every single touch of Seokjin. The older one pulled Namjoon even closer, almost breaking apart the kiss but Namjoon wasn’t ready to let go of Seokjin’s lips just yet. They had all the time in the world and no one who would interrupt them.

Excited to where this would lead to, Namjoon was unconsciously tugging at Seokjin’s shirt. Shortly afterwards, Seokjin paused their kiss, giving them time to breathe. Their eyes met and the younger one could read the emotions in Seokjin’s eyes like he could read a book. Passion, devotion and lust. “Can I be honest for a second?”, Seokjin asked, trailing his finger up and down Namjoon’s spine, replacing the fire he felt before with a shiver. It was not his intention to slow down their fun, but he needed to know, and he needed to let Namjoon know.

“Yeah, sure.”, the younger one replied, running his hand through Seokjin’s hair. If he couldn’t be honest in a situation like this, when could he be? The older one’s heart was beating rapidly, amongst other things the blood rush made him blush just enough for Namjoon to notice in the dim light. “Ever since we fell down that day, I was wondering what it would feel like to hold your hand.”, he purred, his voice soft and innocent and Namjoon had to smile. “Ever since I held your hand, I was wondering what your lips would taste like.”, Seokjin continued and rose one hand to let his thumb stroke over Namjoon’s bottom lip while the older one was biting his own.

“Now that I finally know, I can’t help but wonder what your lips must feel like on the rest of my body. Every night I keep imagining your lips sucking on every bit of my skin.”, he breathed and Namjoon could feel Seokjin’s hot breath trail down his neck. “I know it’s too much to ask just yet…”, the older one added and his voice was trailing off, carrying a rather dejected tone with it. “Go on.”, the younger one whispered, his deep voice escaping from his dry throat.

He cleared his throat as Seokjin’s head rose so that their eyes would meet. - Oh, those eyes - “Go on. Tell me what else you want.”, Namjoon slowly said, breathing loudly. His husky voice had Seokjin feel weak. Weak to deny him anything. The older one’s arms wrapped around Namjoon’s lower half as he pulled him closer, resting his head right next to Namjoon’s so he could whisper into his ear. As he got closer, Namjoon could feel it.

He could feel Seokjin’s erection against his crotch. “I want to undress you, but that’s not all. I want you to undress me too. I want to explore every inch of your body with my fingers,”, Seokjin hummed as his hand crawled underneath the younger one’s shirt, caressing his front - “with my lips”, he breathed as he kissed his way up from Namjoon’s collarbone back to his lips - “and with my tongue.”

As if it was a cue word, Namjoon was ready to welcome Seokjin’s tongue back into his mouth. There was a passion in the way Seokjin kissed him that Namjoon knew he would never forget this night. However, after a few seconds, Seokjin was already retreating from Namjoon’s lips. “But there’s more…”, the older one chuckled, voice ringing with innocence even though both of them knew that his words won’t be as innocent.

“I want to feel your breath on my skin. I want to feel your lips on my skin. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to know what it feels like to be one with you.”, Seokjin listed while Namjoon was listening carefully, biting his lip. He wanted it too - god how much he wanted it - but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. “Is it too much to ask?”, Seokjin chuckled, head leaning back.

That was when Namjoon let his cold hands wander below Seokjin’s shirt while placing hot kisses along the older one’s neck, making Seokjin’s whole body shiver. “What if I told you, it’s not?”, Namjoon’s deep voice rang in the other man’s ears and his touch almost made Seokjin unable to hold back his moan. “What if you could have your wish?”, the younger asked and Seokjin hummed, taking a deep breath. “Everything?”, he asked excited, yet slightly disbelieving. “Everything at its time.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin moved his head again to look at the other.

The smirk on his lips and the calm in his eyes were hiding the storm of excitement that was raging inside Seokjin. “And what time is it now?”, the older one asked, teasingly winking at Namjoon who shot him a smile. Their lips met for another wet kiss that almost robbed Seokjin of his breath as they shifted in their seat, hands exploring the inside of each other’s clothing before Namjoon started to fiddle with Seokjin’s belt, and later on the zipper. “Time to lean back and relax.”, Namjoon suggested, even though it sounded more of an order - an order that Seokjin would gladly take - as he kneeled in front of the couch.

The air was hot and with every kiss that Namjoon pressed against Seokjin’s skin, the tension rose until he finally freed the older one’s legs from his pants. His underwear was rising like a tent under the pressure of his length, leaving a dark, wet spot on the fabric from how excited Namjoon had him. It was almost surreal to Seokjin. Namjoon’s fingers slipped below the elastic band of the older one’s boxers to pull them down until his erection was freed. Moment later, Seokjin felt like he was in heaven. As the younger one’s tongue wrapped around his base, Seokjin’s fingers had already sunken into Namjoon’s hair.

The lips that were speaking those desires just moments ago were now parting in sounds of pleasure, getting longer with every minute passing. The soft lighting and quiet music emitted by the TV engulfed them and together with Seokjin’s moans it almost sounded like a symphony, arranged by a mastermind. The older one’s fingers curled as he felt a tingle rise in his belly and goosebumps covering his skin. Namjoon was not new to things like this. The older one could feel it - Oh boy, and how he could feel it - and Namjoon didn’t plan on acting like he didn’t know how to please a man. His man. Seokjin.

Soft moans filled their ears as Seokjin enjoyed every second of the pleasure Namjoon was giving him, besides giving him a hard time to hold back and enjoy it for longer. The sound of the TV couldn’t make it to the older one anymore as Namjoon’s soft lips stroked his length and his tongue caressed every inch there was to explore before cupping in the shot Jin couldn’t hold back any more.

It turned out messier than both of them expected and Seokjin shyly smiled, biting his lips, as Namjoon struggled to not choke on it by accident. While the noise of the movie slowly came back to fill out the atmosphere again, Namjoon hurried to the bathroom while Seokjin pulled up his pants again. Even though it just happened, Seokjin still felt the excitement in his body. The excitement of Namjoon willingly sucking his dick. The excitement of knowing Namjoon didn’t force himself - Seokjin could clearly feel that - and that he did not regret a thing.

“This is unreal.” Seokjin mumbled to himself, hands fiddling with his belt, eyes fixed on his crotch where Namjoon’s head could’ve been found just a moment earlier. It all came naturally, yet Seokjin was questioning the situation. Then he frowned. Why was he like this. How could he even question this? He just shared an intimate moment with his lover and all he could think about were doubt, and not the pleasure.

It must have been his past experience - his past relationship - that was still nagging on his soul. Whispering words of unreason and accusations that made Seokjin feel fear tearing at his heart, daring to pull it into an abyss of deep thinking. The kind of deep thinking he saw on Namjoon. Only darker. And quieter. And about that dark haired beauty of a man that had once knocked over a lamp in Seokjin’s house out of anger.

As Namjoon emerged from the bathroom, the thoughts of this man were gone. There was no mysterious, twisted man. There was Namjoon. One who wouldn’t knock over and break Seokjin’s furniture in anger, but maybe walk against a table in his pure, drunk on love, unobservance as he smiled the most sincere smile, filled with a kiss of shyness. The older one took a deep breath , and yet he still felt breathless.

And at this point Jin knew, there was nothing he had to worry about when he was with Namjoon. He only worried about the times he wouldn’t be with him. He would count days, minutes, seconds until they would see each other again. He wanted to make every date more memorable than the last. He wanted to shower Namjoon in kitsch and clutter that proves his love.

As the younger one sat down next to him, Seokjin could finally breathe again. The air tastes used and hot, made his mouth dry, but he would walk through a desert just to see Namjoon’s dimpled smile. Their hands met and Seokjin pulled the other one closer, resting his blonde hair against Namjoon’s neck that he had stained with lovebites on other days before. Seokjin’s eyelids fluttered shut while he placed soft kisses against Namjoon’s skin. Kisses so soft one could think Seokjin didn’t want to break the precious image he discovered of Namjoon - or rather, that he gave him.

~*~

The warmth of the early autumn sun was long forgotten in the night of the first December day, but Seokjin did not need the summer just yet. Namjoon’s voice and loving words were enough to carry his mind to a warm beach where the wind was kissing his skin and the waves of the sea were calmly carrying the younger one’s voice closer to him. Despite radically dropping temperatures, snow was taking its time to show up and cover the streets in an ocean of what looked like white sugar, fine and clear but not nearly as sweet.

“Seokjin, are you listening?”, the younger one’s voice was shaking because of the cold as it nibbled on his lips with every syllable he spoke. “I’m sorry.”, Seokjin apologized, “I guess I got lost in your words.” Namjoon shook his head with a smile as he closed down the library for that day. “I asked you what you want for your birthday.”, he repeated as he turned to face the blonde beauty of a man that he had falled for - metaphorically and literally - a while ago. It was a question that made Seokjin think hard. “For my birthday?”, the older one repeated, tapping his chin.

There was nothing he could wish for anymore. Nothing Namjoon hadn’t already given him. A new Umbrella. His trust. His love. His time. There was only one thing Seokjin could ask for. “Could I wish for anything?”, he smirked and Namjoon engaged their walk as he took the place next to Seokjin, sneaking his hands into the other one’s pocket to let their fingers intertwine. “Anything realistic.”, Namjoon replied and he could feel the cold creep through his shoes.

Seokjin had to chuckle, not being able to hold back his comment about how Namjoon was the dreamer of the two of them. “Is it realistic enough to wish for us to move in together?”, Seokjin suggested, a slight purr in his voice to let Namjoon catch the intention that he wants to be with him. However, the gears in the other one’s head were already turning, squashing that intention and storing it somewhere in the back of his brain next to hidden confessions and sugar coated lies that he had heard throughout his whole life.

“Really? Wait that would be a bit short- I mean, your birthday is already in three days. I mean- you know I wanted to move out anyways, and moving together would actually be nice- will we find an apartment this quick? One that is big enough? No, we have to like it, that’s the most important-” - “Namjoon.”, Seokjin cut in, interrupting Namjoon’s chain of thoughts, breaking the links and stopping his mind from tying itself together.

“It’s ok. We don’t have to rush this. But thank you for considering it.” His last words were but a whisper and he squeezed the younger one’s hand tightly, walking close to his lover as they passed several shops and street lights. “Would you really want us to move together?”, Namjoon asked, a tone as if he just actually realised what the older one asked for. A smile laid down on Seokjin’s lips as he left that question unanswered.

The half-moon shaped glasses that usually framed his romantic dark eyes were left at home that day. He had tried to switch to contact lenses since his glasses kept falling off more frequently. The hinges were old and overused, the glass itself was scratched and it was impossible to keep them clean for a whole day. Namjoon was the one to suggest the exchange and even though Seokjin was used to his glasses being a part of him, he listened to Namjoon listing the pros and cons. In the end, it was a good choice.

Another thing that has been running through his mind lately, aside from wearing contacts, was the thought of suggesting Namjoon to officially move in with him. Jin loves having him around and he knows how Namjoon eases at the sight of the living room. How he snuggles close on the sofa, how he knows every corner and shelve and drawer better than the older one himself.

“You seem to think a lot tonight.”, Namjoon chuckled, softly tackling the older one. “We can move into my apartment.”, Seokjin suddenly blurred out, unaware if Namjoon was even talking about the moving situation again. Judging by the bewildered expression on the younger one’s face, he was not. “I’m sorry, what were you talking about?”, Seokjin quickly asked before Namjoon pulled his scarf up a bit, covering a lip bite as the love sick sparkles in his eyes dimmed. “I asked you if you wanted to eat take out.”, he mumbled, stroking his lover’s hand with his thumb.

A lie. That would have actually been his next question. “Sounds great. Your treat?”, Seokjin teased and he saw the smile in Namjoon’s eyes as he looked up. “My treat.”, he agreed and Seokjin quickly kissed the back of Namjoon’s hand. He did that a lot. Mostly when he planned to apologize or spoil Namjoon later on. Sometimes both.

They got their favourite dishes and went to Seokjin’s place. Namjoon hadn’t seen his own home in a while. The promotion made it impossible to spend some peaceful hours at home. The shelves were overflowing with books and stationery. Folders stacked upon folders, paper edges peering from pages of notebooks that he had stored where his novels used to be. If he wasn’t at home, sighing about the mess he made, he was at the library in his office, sometimes he even slept there.

When the nights got too long and he felt his body glued to the old leather chair that was way too big for his former boss but just the right size for Namjoon. Seokjin’s home was organized and clean. Every day he entered, his house shoes were waiting for him, the lights were a pleasant luminosity and no bright flickering desk lamp that really needed a new lightbulb. Sometimes, if Seokjin would be waiting for Namjoon, it would smell like home cooked food, but in times like that, where they would enter together, the silence and the smell of take out food was just the calm they needed.

Namjoon slipped into the house shoes after he took off his jacket and Jin already marched into the kitchen. The moment the younger one stepped into the living room however, he felt like he was at an unknown place. It felt like someone else’s home. Could it be because of what Seokjin said earlier?, he thought, his mind chewing on the suggestion of Seokjin like it was chewing a piece of gum that lost its flavour five minutes ago - but you can’t stop chewing.

Rustling plastic bags lured him into the kitchen as if they were calling him to get ready to eat. The way Seokjin unpacked their food looked rather sloppy and nowhere near anything domestic, but Namjoon could sense a soothing something swiftly rise up his spine, spreading in his mind like a fog that deceives all evil thoughts. His heart was racing, thinking about living with Seokjin. Yet, the fact that the older one didn’t even listen to him when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time left him a little bit hurt.

“How are the orders going?”, Seokjin asked as they sat down together. “Pretty good. I don’t have to order too many books at the moment. I purposely ordered more of the current bestsellers so I won’t have to refill the stock later. Also, not many students come to order or look for books they have to read for classes or lectures. We only order what needs to be restocked and sell what we have at the moment.”, Namjoon explained pretty dry and Jin nodded. The older one knows how important it is to keep the storage full.

The bistro is pretty empty at the moment, but it is just the calm before the winter storm. It’s a popular place for tourists and couples during the christmas season so he could already be sure he had to work then. Either way, this year was the first year he could take a day off at his birthday. And the day before, and the day after. Three days he would want to spend with Namjoon. The smell of their food quickly filled the apartment and the actual food quickly filled their stomachs. Seokjin was almost exaggeratedly moaning and boasting about how good the food was while Namjoon just grinned every time the other did it.

“How about the story.”, the older asked after they finished eating and Namjoon looked at him, face morphing into an expression of confusion as he threw away the plastic bags and containers. “What are you talking about?”, he asked and Seokjin came to pull the other close. His arms were wrapped around Namjoon’s waist as he made their foreheads touch, eyes closing slowly. “Our love story~.”, he cooed, reminding Namjoon of the promise Seokjin demanded on the day of their first kiss. “You promised to write a love story with me as the love interest of the protagonist, aka you.”, He added and Namjoon chuckled before slightly tilting his head.

“Did I really promise this? Or did you kiss me before I could agree.”, Namjoon countered and it made Seokjin smile before he pressed a soft kiss onto his lover’s lips. A kiss that tasted like soy sauce and fried chicken and all the different types of spices Seokjin liked so much. Namjoon enjoyed the taste so much he did not want to let it go. He deepened their kiss, let his hands slide onto the older one’s neck. As Seokjin pulled Namjoon closer, his arms happened to slide upwards, almost pulling Namjoon’s shirt up with them. They were leaning against the kitchen counter as Seokjin caressed Namjoon’s face.

Namjoon’s heart was racing and he could feel a fire - no, more of an ember - sizzle in his chest. The same heat he felt before confessing to Seokjin when he did not listen. He would do it again. He would do it now once he had the chance. As their lips parted to let them breathe, Namjoon breathed the older one’s name with it, earning him a sound of confirmation from Seokjin. A sign that he was listening. “I just wanted to tell you-”, Namjoon said but his words got interrupted by the doorbell and several knocks on the door.

Perplexed, Namjoon lost track of his words and thoughts. “Not this again.”, the older one mumbled as he let go of his lover with a heavy heart to open the door, recognizing the unique pattern right from the start. In front of the door was a bright, smiling young man with an unnatural hair colour and every time Seokjin saw him he looked like he really enjoyed having this hair colour. Jin has seen otherwise.

“What can I do for you?”, Seokjin asked his upstairs neighbour that recently moved in with a roommate and his friend. “Did I interrupt anything?”, he asked before not waiting for an answer, “Sorry. I was just wondering if you still have our bag of flour.”, he said and the older one frowned. “I never had your bag of flour.”, Seokjin encountered and Namjoon listened to the conversation from the kitchen, heart dropping low as he once again failed to say ‘I Love You’.

The man outside frowned, tapping his chin. “Really? Jimin - my roommate -, you know him, right? This tall, or small how I like to say-” he gestured to a height shortly above his shoulder “See, he said you had it.” Seokjin took a deep breath before letting out a loud sigh. “Taehyung. What exactly did Jimin say?”, Seokjin asked and Taehyung paused a second and it looked like he just realized something. “Wait, he didn’t say you had our bag of flour.It was Jinyoung and not Jin-hyung.”, Taehyung mumbled and smiled. “I’m sorry, I guess knocked on the wrong door. Have a nice evening!”

As quick as he showed up, he was gone again and Seokjin closed the door, wondering why in god’s name he would need flour at this hour. Still, he adored Taehyung and he was always curious about what type of people his roommates are to keep up with him. Lovely people. As Seokjin made his way back into the actual living area, Namjoon was already sitting on the sofa in the living room. He brought a book from one of his co-workers’ friends that he was asked to read through, maybe check for errors, and later on use his connections to maybe get it published.

Namjoon has read through 120 pages of the 206 page novel and did not once grab a red pen to correct anything. Mostly, because there wasn’t enough space on the side for corrections, but also because he wanted to read the story first before focusing on corrections. Seokjin saw the peaceful image of Namjoon reading and decided he wanted to be part of it. He sat down next to him before wrapping his arms around the younger one, snuggling close and eventually shift their position where they lay on the sofa, Seokjin’s head resting on Namjoon’s chest, who rested the book on Seokjin’s shoulder, holding it with one hand while the other one was roaming through the other one’s blond dyed locks.

“What are you reading?”, the older one mumbled, voice light like a feather that fell onto Namjoon’s chest. “A script.”, the other one answered, almost a whisper as he kept caressing Jin’s scalp. “How’s it?”, the other one whispered, voice ringing with the sound of sleep as he yawned afterwards. Just by that, Namjoon suddenly felt much more tired, his body realizing all the work he did today. “It’s ok. Not a bestseller, but maybe he could sell 150 copies, if he’s lucky 200.”, he explained and Seokjin nodded. “How much would he need for it to be a bestseller?”, the older one asked, eyes closing and listening to Namjoon’s smooth heartbeat. “More than thousand copies, I suppose. Or just lots of copies in a certain period of time.”, Namjoon explained, retreating his hand to turn the page. Shortly after that, Seokjin kept quiet and Namjoon almost believed he fell asleep.

“Would you read something out of it for me?”, he then asked, his voice quieter than the turning of the pages and Namjoon agreed. The younger one kept his voice low but steady, paying attention on what to emphasize and he gave different characters different voices. It made Seokjin smile as he slowly drifted into the land of dreams, Namjoon’s voice being guidance and his chest being Seokjin’s pillow. After almost ten pages of reading out loud, Namjoon’s yawn were more frequent and he kept rubbing his eyes.

He considered that it was too late to keep reading and Seokjin was sleeping anyways. One arm wrapped around Jin, the librarian placed the book on the table besides the sofa, trying to move as little as possible to not wake the other. While he let the silence engulf them both as he ran his fingertips up and down Seokjin’s back, he thought about that day. How he planned to say ‘I love you’. How Seokjin suggested to officially move together. How he enjoyed this moment. I could have this for many more days, he thought, I’d like that.

Namjoon stroked Seokjin’s hair before softly kissing it. “I love you.”, he whispered and leaned back in an attempt to sleep. “I love you too, Namjoon.”, the older one breathed, hugging closer to Namjoon as if he was afraid the other would leave because of his statement. “Let’s get to bed. It will be more comfortable than the sofa.” Seokjin suggested, getting up and letting his hands glide down Namjoon’s arms. The younger one groaned in response, whining about how he was about to fall asleep like this, with Seokjin on his chest, being held like he never wanted to let go ever again.

Promptly, Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon and pulled him up, trying to pick him up from the sofa, resulting in Namjoon starting to laugh. “What are you doing? Stop, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”, the younger one chuckled as he got up to prevent Jin from getting hurt. “If it means I can carry you to bed and lay you down so I can cuddle up, I am willing to take the risk, Joonie.”, Seokjin countered with a wink and a kiss on Namjoon’s cheek.

Tired feet carried them towards the bedroom door, rigid fingers trying to dig into the fabric of each other’s clothes as Seokjin chivalrously held onto Namjoon, opening the door and guiding him to the soft bed. “Did I ever tell you what a gentleman you are?”, Namjoon asked, the door falling shut behind them as Jin crawled towards the other, cuddling him like a domestic kitten.

“I’ll move mountains, plant trees, swim across oceans and catch fireflies in a jar if that meant you could be happy. Being a gentleman is the least I can be.”, the older one replied and Namjoon couldn’t tell if he got warm by Seokjin’s body heat or his words. The curtains were drawn shut so Namjoon couldn’t look at the night sky, wondering about the little white dots that might have been nothing but airplanes.

Were there stars outside?, he asked himself as Seokjin’s steady breathing made his own heart adjust to the rhythm. Namjoon wouldn’t need stars. Seokjin was making his life brighter. He was living in the real world and not someone else’s made up fantasy that found its way onto paper. Books were still his hobby, but Seokjin was now his passion. Namjoon couldn’t imagine life any different now. It could only get better, he thought, eyes falling shut as he drifted to sleep.

~*~

It was colder than expected as Namjoon met up with his co-worker Hoseok. It was Christmas Eve and Namjoon forgot his gloves once again. The thick fabric of his coat was enough to give shelter from wind and snow, but the cold was creeping up all the way through his sleeves. Namjoon had the perfect Christmas present for Seokjin. He couldn’t arrange it to Seokjin’s birthday, he did not have enough time back then. Yet, Seokjin was still more than excited about his birthday present from Namjoon.

Everything at it’s time, those words were ringing in Seokjin’s head as Namjoon presented himself as his present, nervous of how the older one might react. The sensation of their bodies becoming one and Namjoon feeling Seokjin move inside him for the first time was - groundbreaking! Of course Seokjin told him he didn’t have to do it just because it was his birthday, but Namjoon insisted that he felt ready for that step. A step to take with Jin together. Namjoon still had butterflies in his stomach every time he thought about it.

The knock on his office door interrupted his thoughts - maybe for the better - and Hoseok walked in on Namjoon filing papers. “I’m sorry for calling you here on your day off.”, Namjoon apologized and Hoseok raised his hand to wave through the air. “No problem. I have plenty of time. My family went on vacation - separately - anyways. My sister is in Japan with a bunch of friends and my parents saved up to go to Dubai. I’m all alone today.”, Hoseok explained, and even though it sounded like a sad story, he was smiling like he always did. There wasn’t a day that Namjoon saw him seriously sad.

“What about your boyfriend?”, Namjoon asked, storing papers and stapling others together. “With his family.”, Hoseok replied shortly, letting out an almost unnoticed sigh. “Why aren’t you-” “They don’t know. Still. But it’s ok.”, Hoseok cut in and sat down in front of Namjoon. “He’s actually quite paranoid about telling them so I won’t push him.”,  he added and got a folder from his bag. As soon as the folder made an appearance, Namjoon’s eyes started to sparkle. It might have been a plain yellow see-through plastic folder, but for the librarian, it was much more.

“Is that it?”, he asked and Hoseok placed it on his boss’s table with a smile. “Yup. Just as you asked. The actual document came today because they had shipping issues, but if it wouldn’t have gotten here in time, I would have at least given you the certificate. The frame and all would have come to you later of course.”, Hoseok explained as Namjoon reached for the folder. “Thank you. Really. I couldn’t have it delivered to our place, he would have known.”, Namjoon said, excited to unveil the content of the plastic package.

Our place. Ah, how he enjoyed saying this. Seokjin’s early christmas present was a legal document, claiming that Namjoon was now living under the same roof, in the same apartment as Seokjin. They sorted things out and got everything going to get Namjoon out of his old scanty apartment. They even settled on - a thing Namjoon never thought he would agree on - giving away some of his precious books.

He always loved his collection, but now he had no space, nor time to take care of it anymore. They wanted to bring the books that he could let go of to the second hand book store, but what pained Namjoon even more was to find out that the lady closed her shop late November. The books he sorted out were either old or got boring, but there was one book he wouldn’t give away. His copy of Dr. Glas. The one he bought when he first met Seokjin. He hasn’t finished it yet, he was way too busy, but it had an emotional value for him.

“Can I ask you something?”, Hoseok asked as they left the library and Namjoon locked the gate behind them. “If you’re asking to celebrate christmas with us, I’m sorry but I have to turn you down.”, Namjoon replied without giving away further information on their christmas plans. “No, no that’s not it. I’m cool with just chilling alone.”, Hoseok chuckled but he looked sadder than usual. If they wouldn’t have plans, Namjoon would have loved to invite Hoseok over.

“I just wanted to know why you got him this? And why the name is so complicated.” A smile rushed across Namjoon’s lips as he thought about the answer to Hoseok’s question. His reason was way too deep and certainly hard to put into words. It also had something romantic and maybe also cheesy, but it was worth it. “Trust me, it has a meaning. Thank you for taking care of it.”, Namjoon just uttered before they parted ways. He would want to cover Seokjin in all the light from the stars in the night sky… but one star should be enough.

He made his way to their shared apartment, knowing Seokjin was already waiting for him. Mrs. Son, - who was previously Ms. Choi - Seokjin’s boss, decided that it was time to give the bistro a break for winter, going off in her honeymoon with her newly wed husband and giving all workers a free holiday season. The smell of seaweed soup and kimchi and all different spices, blending all together like a symphony, invaded Namjoon’s nose as he skimpily skipped over the threshold, into the kitchen where Seokjin was waiting.

“I’m expecting an apology, or a great present for you being late.”, Seokjin joked, eyes fixed on Namjoon, lips curled into a smile. Namjoon greeted his lover with a kiss before promising that he will get both, later. The younger one placed a package onto the table that was neatly wrapped into some of the libraries wrapping paper they prepared for christmas. Seokjin did not know that. He also did not know that it was Hoseok that wrapped the present and not Namjoon, but either way, he would not care.

“No, no, no.”, Seokjin lectured the younger one, asking him to put the present away. “Why?”, Namjoon asked confused and Seokjin shook his head. “Food first, presents later.”, he said and Namjoon chuckled. “I also got my present before we ate.”, Namjoon countered. “Yes, that’s why I’m going to wait for mine.”, Seokjin shot back and they agreed on eating first. Looking back, it was the better idea, considering the amount of happiness that shot through Seokjin after he opened it. Namjoon was sure that Seokjin’s cooking was getting better every time he ate it.

They barely talked, thus finishing their dinner quickly. The sun hasn’t been seen for hours and Seokjin wanted to give their apartment a romantic touch for christmas by lighting candles. Namjoon loved the whole atmosphere. If he could, he would want to bathe in it, breathe it in, and never let it go. As they moved into the living room, Seokjin pulled Namjoon close, sitting down with him on the sofa. “Now where is my apology?”, he asked, grinning before not being able to hold back from kissing Namjoon for a moment. A moment long enough for Namjoon to let their fingers intervene.

Not wanting to break their kiss apart but also being thrilled about giving Seokjin his present, Namjoon got up to grab the package from the kitchen. His fingers ran along the edges of the neatly wrapped paper and if he hadn’t known what was inside already, he would have dared to unwrap it now and then. He hurried back to his lover and reached him the present as he sat down. “Merry Christmas. If you have any questions, just ask.”, Namjoon said and Jin grinned. “Where’s my apology?”, he chuckled again and Namjoon pointed to the present.

“Verbally.”, Seokjin added, rising an eyebrow and Namjoon just gave him his most love drunken smile, uttering a deep “I love you.” that made Seokjin’s heart melt. “Ok, that counts.”, the older one laughed before unwrapping the package. His fingers were itching to know what’s inside and Namjoon could have possibly gotten him. As the yellow plastic folder came into view, the older one frowned hard. He could see papers and chuckled, thinking Namjoon actually wrote him a love story to gift him for christmas.

However, as the opening of the folder revealed a picture frame with a bright star filled sky, a crystal star embedded into the paper, and the letters ‘NJ-1611’ written on it, his jaw dropped. “You… you got me a star?”, Seokjin asked, fingertips running over the glass of the framed certificate. “It has our names in it… or a combination of it. NJ is short for NamxJin, or NamJin.”, the younger one explained as Jin couldn’t take his eyes off the paper, looking to get to know every little detail. “The 1611, well… that’s November 16th, where we had our first kiss.”

As Seokjin unpacked the rest, he found some handwritten notes stapled together, on top of each paper the title ‘Moments that I fell in love with you’ and the first paper was labeled ‘Chapter one’. Namjoon wrote about how he felt the night after he met Jin. He couldn’t sleep and thought about how cute he was.

Chapter two was about their first date when Namjoon picked Seokjin up and they had dinner somewhere on a parkbench. Chapter three was about the times they kept hanging out and where Seokjin would cook for him and Namjoon would read him from a book he liked. How they enjoyed being together. Chapter five was about how Namjoon fell in love when Jin nursed him back to health, how he was sick and how he still felt sorry for making them leave the party.

The older one’s heart was racing and he could feel his eyes getting teary. This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done, he thought, skimming through the pages before he got to the one with their first kiss. How Namjoon felt fireworks going off. How, despite the first attempt being clumsy, it wasn’t anywhere near awkward. The ink on each page differed and Seokjin knew that Namjoon must have written those down at any moment, grabbing any kind of writing utensil that was close.

Jin came to the chapter where Namjoon wrote about pleasing Seokjin with his lips for the first time. How he felt no shame and how he enjoyed the older one’s moans. Re-reading it, Seokjin could feel a hot temperature rise inside him, making him feel like his head was steaming. But the thing that caught him off guard was the last chapter. “The moment you opened your christmas present…?”, the older one read out loud and Namjoon smiled wide, biting his lip to contain his smile.

The moment you opened your christmas present was so exciting. I wanted to know how you would react. What you’d expect. If you would like it. My head went crazy with all those thoughts, but seeing you smile and read the letters just makes me fall more and more in love with you. What did I do to deserve you? I don’t know. The way your lips move when you read along the lines is just too tempting to resist. I want to kiss you forever and hold your forever. Now, look at that! We have a star to call our own, even though you will always shine brighter than any star for me. I love you.

The pages afterwards were blank and Seokjin frowned, looking up at Namjoon with wonder and excitement. “For the future.”, he explained and closed the pages. “As a reminder that I don’t plan to stop falling in love with you.”, he said and the corniness made Seokjin’s heart jump. “Come here, Joonie.”, Seokjin said before gliding his hand over Namjoon’s cheek, pulling him close for a kiss full of passion and tenderness.

Namjoon was so happy. He was happy with the overall situation. He was happy with Seokjin’s reaction. He was happy to be waking up next to him the next morning. As their lips parted, the older one told Namjoon to wait and got up to grab a small package that he hid in a drawer. “Another present? But I already got-”, Namjoon said but Seokjin did not let him continue his words. “I know, I know. But I also know that you have another present for me too.”, Jin smiled and Namjoon looked to the side, acting flustered. “I don’t know what you mean.”, the younger one lied and Seokjin pulled something out of his pocket.

“This one fell out of your pocket earlier. You didn’t notice.”, he said, holding up a condom that had a dumb christmas pun written on the wrapper. Let me jingle your bells. Classic. Seokjin put the plastic wrapper away and handed Namjoon his present. “You didn’t have to-”, Namjoon started but he could see in Seokjin’s eyes what he wanted to say. I know I don’t have to, but I want to. That’s what his eyes were saying. Eyes, that Namjoon could get lost in.

He tore at the edges of the wrapping paper until he managed to free what was inside. A cardboard box. And inside that cardboard box, were a pair of gloves. “Merry Christmas.”, Seokjin whispered as Namjoon just smiled down onto the gloves. He wouldn’t dare to forget his gloves ever again, even though he liked holding hands with the older one to keep them warm.

“Now.”, Seokjin almost purred and let his hand slide down to caress his lover’s knee. “Will you help me blow out the candles?”, he asked, voice as soft and innocent as a bell ring but the echo carried a much more sultry meaning. “If you help me get out of those clothes afterwards.”, Namjoon proposed and gave Seokjin a wink. “Deal.”, the older one agreed and within a few moments the lights vanished, just like the two love birds did into the bedroom. Namjoon fell in love like he fell asleep - in the arms of Seokjin - in this december night.

The next morning, he would ask himself, what he did to deserve this. Even more, he would ask himself… he would ask: “How do you think all this started?” Namjoon couldn't explain this to himself...