#maiming max

[grandmags]

Imagine being a Henry Creel stan. Not in a lighthearted Jamie fan/ funny Vecna memes way, but in a no-holds-barred way that has you constantly undermining other character’s trauma and essentially brushing off his mass-murdering children in favor of twisting him into a protagonist.

Embarrassing. Couldn't be me.

[lillylunala]

Yall know the memes

[k9ninedecay]

I think about this image alot actually

[bakerstreetdoctor]

My hate-necessity relationship with Schürer von Waldheim is immeasurable.

[erodingsinner]

I think max should be allowed to kill people with hammers. as a treat

[ju-draws-worms]

boat to nowhere in a shirt that doesn’t fit anymore

[sysig]

You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)

[starheirxero]

HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TSAMS EPISODE YET?!!!

Bloodmoon might be coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ASK SENT ME FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM OMG. WATCHED IT AND HOLY SHIT. I’M LIKE ?!?!!!!! IM GENUINELY SURPRISED HE’S COMING BACK ???? I WAS SO SURE BLOODMOON WAS GUNNA STAY DEAD THIS IS FASCINATING. ESPECIALLY RUIN’S IMPLICATION OF ALTERING THEM ???? WHAT IS HE GUNNA DO 2 THE BOYS……. IM VERY INTRIGUED

[snowangeldotmp3]

i want to write. but my brain will not let me sit down and write the words. but i want to write the words down onto my silly document.

[wings-of-angels]

Thinking about they/he/she/xe pronouns,,,

[call-me-cosmic]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[max-jagerman-asks]

Uh-

Good.

[tikhondownichi]

My ask got eaten I think 😔

But no matter

Throws these headcanons about Prorva at you

- She’s very vocal. And when I say that, I mean screeching when she’s picked up, literally wailing when she falls and hurts herself, and when she learns how to talk, you better believe she was screaming random words

- ADHD to the fucking MAX, like you could not get her to sit still if you tried, nor is she good at paying attention

- When she asked where babies came from, her answer was “Don’t worry about it” and later figured it out herself when she saw another batch of eggs in the shop (poor father and daughter for that one)

- Made up an imaginary friend to blame shit on, like “My friend chewed the wires!” And pointed at air lol

- She can be cute when she wants something but only Sebastian can see through the bullshit

Sorry if this gets sent twice, Tumblr likes my asks as a snack

i have a VERY LOT of asks in my inbox and I physically cannot answer them all quickly. I do this to the best of my ability, so no offense :[

welp now I'd like to put in my five cents >:]

- totally agree, she has a talent for screeching disgustingly like a pig being squeezed by a gate 👹

- Seb won't tolerate her ADHD antics. He'll just give her lightly spank, a slap and ban her to the storage room (I mean, Seb is a maimed man with a lot of mental trauma and has been tortured for years. People like him don't make lovely and affectionate parents. On top of that, he gives the impression of being a terribly hot-tempered person);

- the egg story is an isolated incident. They're both going through enough. The less Prorva knows, the more she sleeps;

- too bad this imaginary friend won't save her from Seb's educational smackdown for chewed wires :c

- heh classic, that goes without saying!

[lumsparko]

They're here to maim crooks!!

Been on a bit of a Sam and Max kick again lately, god I forgot how much I loved these two

[turtle-trash]

Probably for the same reason sam doesn’t let max drive (yea im using a semi niche [semi niche bc it’s Sam and max] anecdote. What about it)

Insert something about Mikey and max being basically the same guy here

Edit, forgot this part of hit the road

I just realized, Mikey NEVER drive shellraiser or party wagon

BONUS :

(Edited the post bcs tumblr won't allowed reblog with video •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ )

[sp0o0kylights]

You know what I want to see, I want to see more of Steve, Eddie, and Robin being 1980s small town kids from Indiana, by which I mean;

Robin is The Source of Gay Knowledge purely because her parents host Hippie Christmas and she managed to sneak away to find a neat bookstore in Indiana once. 

Her knowledge is not in depth. It's patchy, woven together through rumors, stories she heard or things she picked up from her parents' old pictures. She's got a handful of zines, one book, and some movies she managed to order for Family Video behind Keith's back.

She acts like she's Queen of the Queers because in Hawkins she pretty much is.

(Max and El ask her what a lavender marriage is once, something they overheard snooping around. 

Robin confidentially answers that it's code for when one woman dresses up as a man, fooling officials into wedding two woman.

She does not live this down two years later when they find out what it actually means.) 

Eddie doesn't spend every weekend in Indianapolis. 

Gas is expensive, his busiest days of his "job" is Friday and Saturday, and he has no fucking clue what the hanky code is. 

He's wearing that bandana because Metallica front singer James Hetfield has one on all their tour posters. 

Eddie does make it down to a gay bar though, by accident. Rick needed some back up for a shady deal. Promised Eddie a boatload of free drugs to sell if he agreed to just stand there and look mean. 

He was warned the bar they were meeting in was 'weird' and to not 'freak out' --which Eddie thought was hilarious given his nickname and general appearance, but whatever.

He doesn't understand when they get there, because it's just a bunch of hot men with hanky's in their back pockets everywhere.

Then he sees two women kissing and it clicks. 

He can't out himself in front of Rick, but one of the bartenders playfully dresses him down for his own hanky, letting him know all about the code and teasing him through his embarrassment. 

He's got an offer to come back and learn what color and which pocket his hanky should actually be in, a prospect Eddie was salivating at until Chrissy Cunningham up and died on his ceiling.

(He still wore the hanky, because the feeling of that bartender tugging it out and stuffing it back in might be the closest thing he's ever had to sex and he absolutely wants a repeat. 

He's young and horny, sue him.) 

Steve Harrington may not be academically smart but he's not dumb. 

He figured out a while back that the basketball team as a unit probably crossed the queer line more than once--or at least it did before Hargrove came in. 

( Brad Handly for example, went around slamming kids into lockers and screaming slurs like a fucking movie villain one Monday because the varsity team got dead drunk at Laura's party on Sunday and hey, look, there weren't that many girls there, okay?

They all had fucking hands and mouths. Everybody but Tommy was single and hot to trot. Nothing gay about it.

Its not even like they were kissing or treating each other like chicks. It was just Brad's first time and they got to tease him later for overthinking it. 

Dude graduated soon enough after and given Steve was on the team as a sophomore, he hadn't thought about the guy and why he might be freaking out so bad in years.) 

Robin's entire panic attack at Starcourt, and a few more after had Steve replaying that whole incident. Reframed it a bit, and, yeah.

In retrospect that had been extremely gay, actually. 

It sat with him a lot easier than he'd thought it would. Partially because of Robin, but mostly because that's just who he was.

Stranger things had happened to Steve and this one didn't want to kill, maim or otherwise eat him, so it got filed under 'interesting facts he should never tell his parents if he wanted to keep his trust fund' and then he went about his day. 

(Or he tried too, anyways.

It caught up to him when Eddie and Robin somehow figured out the other was queer and dragged him along to some bar Eddie had a standing invitation at, with demands for Steve to do what he did best.

Babysit.

Their magical trip was utterly destroyed when Brad Handly happened to be the very same bartender who had given Eddie the invite.

 Considering Brad's immediate bark of laughter followed by a hug and introducing himself as "Steve's gay awakening", Steve ended up having to speedrun through Eddie and Robin both having a crisis for him.

It didn't help that Steve had politely, and laughingly, corrected Brad with a casual; 

"Pretty sure that was Tommy man, but if it helps I think that tongue of yours gave Matt Burdon a crisis."

--which ended up with him answering a lot more gay sex questions with Brad than he cared too. 

At least he, through Brad, was able to help Robin connect to some local lesbians and--after a second crisis from Eddie regarding how Steve managed to have more sex than "the resident town freak and guy who actually knew he was gay, Steve!"-- even helped Eddie out by catching the metalheads tongue with his mouth later that evening.

The last one landed him a boyfriend, trust fund be damned.)