#magrat you will always be with me

[zakalwe-the-ninth]

Ooh, maybe Sybil and Nanny?

Thanks for the prompt! Love these two ☺️

Common Ground (Sam/Sybil, 2.1k words, Teen & up, humour but with a small warning for mention of child loss)

Sybil meets Nanny Ogg at a party; the Duchess of Ankh can talk to anyone, and Nanny can always lower the tone…

Sybil sipped a glass of wine, as beside her the King of Lancre waffled on about the challenges of introducing a democratic parliament to a kingdom of people that believed every man apart from themselves was an idiot. She wondered privately why he was bothering, but suspected if she asked he wouldn’t understand the question.

Across the great hall of the castle she could see Sam engaged in conversation with Shawn Ogg. She was sure she’d seen the boy cleaning the privies earlier, but now the lad was wearing a guard uniform and seemed to be watching, fascinated, as her husband showcased a fighting move she’d once heard him refer to as The Nutcracker. She winced sympathetically as the young man went slightly pale.

Verence had continued talking while she was distracted, however, and appeared to be patiently awaiting a response to a question she had completely lost track of.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, your majesty; what were you saying?”

The king blinked. “Ah, simply that I understand Ankh-Morpork did away with kings some time ago?”

Sybil waved a hand vaguely. “Oh, yes. The last one was awful. Thankfully a relative of my husband chopped off the man’s head. And various other bits, I understand.”

“Ah.” Verence glanced across the room towards Sam, who was still talking to Shawn and appeared now to be explaining the principles behind an effective throat punch in a fairly demonstrative fashion. “Er. A very distant relative, was it?”

She gave him a bright grin. “Not really, no.”

“Hm,” he said vaguely, and Sybil watched several thoughts pass fleetingly across his face. He was opening his mouth to give voice to one of them when they were interrupted by a woman dressed all in black and with a face like a wizened apple.

“Wotcha, your majesty.” The woman plonked herself in front of Verence, a bottle in one hand and turkey drumstick in the other, and Sybil noticed how the king seemed almost to brace himself before he greeted her.

“Oh. Hello, Nanny. Um, have you seen the queen, anywhere? I just need to go and…” He took a half step backwards and made a show of looking around the room before he trailed off hopelessly.

The apple-faced woman grinned. “Magrat? She took your boy upstairs to clean up. Poor bairn fell in the midden.”

“Oh, gods.” Verence started to walk off, before apparently remembering he was the king and turning back to the two women. “Oh, so sorry…I’ve forgotten my manners…um, Nanny, this is Her Grace, Lady Sybil Vimes, Duchess of Ankh. Your grace, this is…er. Mrs Gytha Ogg. We call her Nanny. She’s one of our very, um, esteemed witches.” He made a vague gesture towards them both. “I’m sure you’ll have lots to discuss, but please do excuse me…” 

The pair stared after him as he navigated through the crowd, then turned back to each other. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Mrs Ogg,” Sybil said, putting on her most diplomatic smile. “Lovely party, isn’t it?”

Nanny eyeballed her from beneath a pointy black hat that also, Sybil now noted, had a garish assortment of wax fruits adorning the brim. 

“Aye, not bad, I suppose. Grub’s alright, anyway.” She waved the turkey leg as emphasis, then carried on. “Duchess, eh? We don’t get many of them around here. Is that higher or lower than an Earl?” 

“Oh.” Sybil felt her cheeks start to colour. “Higher. But please, call me Sybil.” 

Nanny took a swig from the bottle and swallowed it with a satisfied noise. “Righto. And you can call me Nanny. You just here for the party?”

“Yes. Lord Vetinari couldn’t make it, unfortunately, so Sam and I attended to represent the city.”

Nanny considered this. “Vetinari? That’s the tall fella, isn’t it? Dresses like a witch and looks like he needs a damned good meal? Or maybe just a damned good seeing to.” She grinned, lewdly.

A loud giggle erupted from Sybil before she had a chance to run it through her diplomatic filter, and she covered her mouth in embarrassment and glanced down at the glass in her hand. “Oh dear. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that second drink.” She raised an eyebrow at Nanny. “But yes. That’s Havelock. You sound like you’ve met him?”

Nanny had a glint in her eye, now. “Oh, yes, I’ve met ‘im. Me and Esme went to the opera a few years back, and he was there too. He told me how they’d served up my Carrot and Oyster Pie at the palace, once.”

Sybil stared at her, eyes wide. “That was your recipe?! Goodness, that pie caused some ructions.” She thought back to the night in question; she hadn’t been at the palace for the dinner, but Sam certainly had been, right up until the point he’d run home and dived straight into a cold bath, anyway. She glanced across at him and smiled fondly at the memory.

“Yep. That’s me.” Nanny was watching her, and now she followed her gaze. “That your husband, with our Shawn?”

“Oh, Shawn Ogg, of course; I should have realised. And yes, that’s Sam.” She paused as they watched him. “Shawn is a lovely boy; a real credit to you. I’m afraid I’m not sure exactly what Sam’s showing him, though…”

That wasn’t entirely true; she had once seen Sam use that particular move on a very drunk lord who had gotten overly friendly with her at a party. Rumour had it the man had moved to Omnia to become a priest after his encounter with the Duke of Ankh.

But Nanny was preening in the way of proud parents everywhere when complimented on their children. “He’s a good lad, Shawn. Doesn’t always have both oars in the water, mind, but he tries. He keeps things ticking over up here, anyway.”

“Yes, I can certainly see that.” Sybil took another sip of her wine. “Do you have other children?”

Nanny continued to stare fondly at Shawn. “Oh, yes. I had fifteen of the buggers. But I’ve buried a few of ‘em over the years, ‘o course.”

Sybil felt herself momentarily lost for words, which was rather unexpected, since a lifetime of social obligations had left her with an extremely high boredom threshold and - usually - an endless reserve of polite small talk. But she was hit by the sudden image of Young Sam sleeping soundly upstairs, and felt an ache deep in her chest that seemed to rob her of speech.

“Oh, good heavens, I am so sorry,” she finally said, with naked sincerity.

Nanny shrugged, still watching the two men. “Life’s hard ‘round these parts. There’s nothing to be gained from moping about it.” She frowned slightly, and turned back to Sybil. “How old’s your bairn?”

“Nearly one.” Sybil felt the ache start to ease somewhat. “He’s upstairs with the nanny.”

“I reckoned as much.” Nanny saw Sybil’s questioning look and smiled. “You looked for him, when I mentioned about mine that I’d lost. Mothers do that.” She nodded back towards Sam and Shawn. “Your man, there. He a good dad?”

“Oh, yes.” She hesitated briefly, then added, “He tries his best, certainly. And he’s lovely with him. But…busy, you know. Work takes a lot of him.” Sybil wondered if it was the wine making her talk so openly, but suspected it was simply that Nanny gave off the kind of vibe that suggested she had known you all of your life; it was more effort not to talk to her.

The other woman narrowed her eyes a little. “I had a husband like that. Mind, the other two were so lazy they’d have paid someone to wipe their arses for ‘em if they could, and that weren’t any better.” She took a bite of the turkey leg and chewed it thoughtfully, then said, “You told him you’d like him around more?”

Sybil frowned. “Sam’s job is very important. He’s trying to make the city better. I won’t have him feel guilty for that just to make my life easier.”

The stripped turkey leg was discarded onto an empty platter carried by a passing waitress, and now Nanny fished about inside a pocket and pulled out a pipe. She cast a glance around, but in the absence of any handy flat surfaces she tucked the bottle between her knees while she lit the pipe. “Well,” she said, as she shook out the match and retrieved the bottle, “that’s all well and good for you, if you’re willing; I dare say plenty of women are happier with their men out from under their feet. But it ain’t a decision you’re making just for you, anymore, is it?”

Sybil hesitated. “No. I suppose not.”

Nanny puffed the pipe and looked her up and down appraisingly. “You’ll not have any more?”

“No. I suppose I might have liked another, but I’ve been told another birth would simply be too risky. Besides, neither of us are getting any younger.”

“Ha. I always say age is a state of mind, but when it comes to babbies…well, they takes a toll on a body.” Nanny stared out across the room, to where a severe looking woman also dressed in black was scowling at the crowd from the shadows. “One’s fine, though. Sometimes more’n one just makes things… complicated. And that can turn pretty nasty.” 

Sybil followed her gaze. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s just Esme.” Nanny grinned again. “I s’pose I should go and grab her before she forgets it's a party and starts cursin’ folk for havin’ fun.”

“Of course, Mrs - Nanny. It’s been very nice chatting.” Sybil hesitated, and then looked over at where Sam was now talking to a man with a furious-looking bird perched on his wrist. She nibbled her lower lip, and dropped her voice. “Um…before you go…?”

The witch raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“...Do you think I could perhaps get the recipe for that pie…?”

Nanny took the pipe from her mouth and cackled. “Ha! I tell you what, Your Ladyship, I’ll have Shawn bring you up a copy of my book before you leave. I dare say there’s a few recipes in there you and your man might enjoy.” She gave the woman beside her a conspiratorial nudge with an elbow, and Sybil blushed pinkly. “You might want to be careful though, if you’re serious about not wanting any more little surprises. Although I can give you something to help with that, too, if you’re interested.”

Sybil blinked. “Oh, that won’t be necessary, thank you. But the book would be, um, gratefully received. It’s very kind of you.”

“Well, when you get to a certain age you needs all the help you can get, am I right?” Nanny peered into her bottle and then tipped the rest of the contents into Sybil’s empty glass, giving her a wink as she did. “Enjoy the rest of your night, Your Ladyship.”

Nanny wandered off, elbowing her way across the hall towards the woman she’d called Esme. Sybil peered down into the glass and took a cautious sniff; she’d thought it must be wine, by the way the woman was swigging it, but the haze of liquor emanating from it made her nose burn and her eyes water. 

Sam appeared beside her a second later, a handkerchief wrapped tightly around his finger and a faint bloom of red seeping through it. 

“Hello, dear,” she said as she swilled the liquid around thoughtfully in the glass. “Have you been making friends?” 

Her husband scowled. “I got bitten by a bird.”

“I can see that. That was a Lancre Crowhawk, Sam; frankly you’re lucky you still have both your thumbs.”

“Oh? Well, your sympathy is appreciated as ever, dear.” 

Sybil finally took a careful sip from her glass and immediately started coughing. The bit she managed to swallow seemed to have an instant effect, however; she suspected the alcohol may have bypassed her stomach and burned its way directly into her bloodstream on the way down. 

“Wstgl!!” she said.

Sam raised an concerned eyebrow. “You alright, there?” His wife managed a vague nod, and he looked at her with some skepticism. “Didn’t Verence warn us against accepting anything off the witches, when we arrived?”

Sybil had pulled a fan out of a pocket and was wafting it briskly in front of her face as she caught her breath again. “She was drinking it like it was water! Good gods, Sam. I can’t feel my knees!” She swayed a little

Her husband snorted, and grabbed her elbow to steady her. “Ha! I don’t miss those days. This is probably a good excuse to leave, though?” 

Sybil, insofar as she was capable of any coherent thought currently, believed he sounded rather hopeful.

“Yes, alright. You might need to help me up  the stairs, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll give you a damned piggyback up them, if it means getting out of these tights.” 

Sybil grinned at him. “Well,” she said, as she slipped her arm through his and allowed herself to be guided gently out through the heaving hall, “on that note, just wait until I tell you what else Mrs Ogg is giving me…”

[goalieflashflight]

Incorrect quotes 3

Moist to Adora: Stop being so mean to me, or I swear to gods, I’m gonna fall in love with you.

Vimes: Where are you, Sybil? This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with.

Moist gleefully: They hate me because of my personality. I can totally change my personality!  

Vetinari: Please don’t mistake my measured blank tone for calmness, as I am filled with waters of rage.

Stanley: Just like Grand Postmaster Mr. Von Lipwig.

Moist: Oh, look at that. I’ve never been an inspiration before. *frowns* I don’t like it. It’s too much responsibility.

Angua: what a dumb idea.

Angua: do it.

Magrat: you always see the worst in people.

Granny: yeah, because people are the worst!

Moist: My staff are killing me!

Mr. Pump: silence

Moist: Fine, you're right; I like them. I hate myself. Is that what you want me to tell you?

Ridcully: If I was doing something stupid, you definitely would be involved.

Dean: yeah, you’re damn right I would be. and I would probably be there to make it even stupider.

Moist: I’m not convinced I know how to read. I just memorized a lot of words.

Cheri: I brake for birds, I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours!

Cheri: and that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.

Moist trying to hide information from Vimes: We got a hungry birthday boy right here. I don’t wanna bore him with foreign mail.

Young Sam: I like mail.

Moist: Oh, you don’t know what you like. You’re three years old.

Sybil: Young Sam is not a fan.

Moist: He doesn’t like me???

*Abridge quote*

Sybil: He sees you more as a dimwitted raccoon.

Moist: Well, my mind is blown.

Young Sam: Goodbye, Mr. Diarrhea head.

Moist deadpanned: Hey, do you have my money, Young Sam? 

Young Sam *Huff*

Moist: Then we have nothing to talk about.

[amuseoffyre]

Since watching the show, Aziraphale’s choice to return to Heaven made me think of Magrat in Lords and Ladies (one of the Discworld books).

Magrat is a nice character. She’s a witch who likes to do good and be kind and gentle. People describe her as a “wet hen”, seeing her as weak and easily led simply because she is kind and good and a bit too optimistic about being able to make things better for people around her.

In Lords and Ladies, Magrat (along with her fellow witches) is put in direct conflict with the fae. There’s a running metaphor in the latter parts of the book comparing the presence of the fae to bees and a quote that “there can only be one Queen in the hive or SLASH! STAB!”

When faced with the loss of her loved one, her friends, her country, her kingdom, her world, Magrat straps on borrowed armour and goes head to head with the Queen of the Fairies. The Queen tries to use psychological warfare against her, pointing out how she’s nothing, will always be nothing and is completely unworthy and worthless, much like the demons do to Aziraphale and Maggie in S2.

She was nothing. She was worthless. She was insignificant. She was so worthless and unimportant that even something completely worthless and exhaustively unimportant would consider her beneath contempt.

And this quote, this line, is what I see for Aziraphale in S3:

“And the ablation of Magrat Garlick roared on, tearing at the strata of her soul... ...exposing the core.”

Aziraphale’s strength has never been fully revealed. He has defied Heaven time and again. He had done the Right thing no matter the cost. But this is the Big One. But he’s always been afraid of doing it, he’s hesitated and faltered and wavered and doubted himself.

This is the one where his core, his essence, the very heart of him will be shown for the powerhouse it is.

There’s a quote a little earlier in the book as well, which I feel fits the coming tone of the S3 and I can picture it in an exchange between Aziraphale and the Metatron:

Elf Queen: Humans always need us. Granny Weatherwax: They don’t. Sometimes they want you. That’s different. But all you can give ‘em is gold that melts away in the morning.

Crowley always described the coming second armageddon as “The Big One”. Heaven and Hell against humanity. And Aziraphale is going to be all guns blazing for humanity and it’s going to be glorious.

Eta. I forgot the most important thing! When Magrat gets close enough to the Queen, the glamour and influence loses its power. "Why, you're nothing!" she says . It's all illusion, maintained by emotional and psychological control. I Yearn to see Aziraphale have that moment.

[unseenwizzard]

Ok, so maybe I'm reading into this... but.

I think the witch books really prove granny's (and I guess a few other magic users) rule about not using magic to medle in politics and how any time you use magic to alter something you keep having to use stronger and stronger magic to keep it that way.

Stick with me here pls. Spoilers for all the witches books ahead!

In wyrd sisters, they win and get Verence crowned because granny breaks her own rule and uses magic to interfere. She uses it on the entire kingdom. And it was the right choice to interfere, and the entire kingdom literally begged her to do it (and all the townspeople begged nanny)

buuut...

In lords and ladies, Verence is the one who planned the wedding for midsummer and sent to Hwel and tomjon for the play the elves used to help break through the dancers. Granny told him not to give magrat a chance to worry her way out of marrying him and kept magrat in the dark and pushed her away.

After that, well, the gentry. happen. The entire kingdom is affected, a witch was the one who powered the circle in the first place, and only stronger magic than granny used in wyrd sisters can fix it

Then.

Verence invited the vampyres. They want to take over the entire kingdom and turn them into blood bags... cattle? Only more witches, a magic ax, and an even stronger and smarter granny can beat them.

And sure. A lot of this was necessary to create an interesting narrative five books in with all those characters but it still seems like every threat to Verences crown is because of a magical being and the witches have to step in and stop it every time.

The disc and its magic is so unpredictable and seems to work through things and use them so I could see it using magical creatures to try rebalancing what granny changed. (and the beings trying to take over are at least as terrible as the duke and duchess)

And it's s so interesting that even though granny thinks she's always right but also always exempt from her own rules she was right about the rules and wrong about being exempt.

Maybe this is nothing but it feels like something to me...... 🧙‍♀️🧙

[wyrdshipper]

This is when I started shipping Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg:

I can't be the only one, can I?

The tension! The bicker-flirting! The slut/virgin shaming!

And they even adopt 2.5 daughters together (Magrat and Agnes/Perdita)

And yeah, Granny is probably ace. But that just means her and Nanny are in an open relationship, since Nanny is allo (and super horny). But Nanny's boyfriends and husbands never seemed to last, nor did Granny's one (1) boyfriend, while Granny and Nanny were always there for each other <3

(Um, excuse me, judge tumblr? Permission to ship two competent old ladies as if they were pathetic middle-aged men. Permission granted? Thank you!)

[read-alert]

Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett

This is another Discworld novel. When a fairy godmother dies and leaves her practice to Magrat along with the explanation that fairy godmothers come in pairs and her counterpart in the country of Genua is giving people fairytale endings, whether they want them or not, so it's up to Magrat to stop her- and definitely don't bring Granny and Nanny along- all three witches set off to save the day.

This one was pretty mixed for me. I certainly had fun with it- it's great to see more of these characters, the fairytale subversions are fun, as are the jokes about asshole tourists, I liked the exploration of the power of stories, and of course overall the book is very funny, but a lot of it rubbed me the wrong way.

I'm not familiar enough with voodoo to say for sure whether I think this comedic portrayl of it is racist, but it felt at best like it was coming close to the line. I know Pratchett did research into Jewish tradition to make sure the way he wrote golems was respectful, so I would like to think that he did the same with voodoo, but I really don't get the vibe that he did from reading it.

I was also uncomfortable with the jokes about Greebo raping everything. I know that's what cats do, but I still wasn't fond of it even when he was a cat, and when you then turn that cat into a human and have him leering at women, it becomes incredibly unpleasant to read, especially since it's still written as a joke.

I was also really surprised that the witches used the same magic as Lilith and then went "but it's okay when we do it because we're the good guys," and then we didn't really delve into that. It's certainly an idea Pratchett deals with in other books, but it's wild that it could be so plainly stated here and then not explored. The idea of whether Lilith or Granny is the evil one is played with, but that's more narrative commentary and exploration on the way people live their lives according to the way you believe the story is supposed to go than it is ever an actual question of Granny doing wrong or being as bad as Lilith. Unless I'm just missing something, which I feel like I might be because, again, Pratchett's normally very against the idea that people can just label themselves good and that makes the bad things they do okay.

I still had fun with the book, I liked the development and exploration of these characters, and- as always- I do really love the way witchcraft works in Discworld, being more about paying attention and helping people than about casting cool spells, but it's got a lot that toes the line of being really unpleasant in a way that I don't think I would be okay with if I didn't have a pre-established love for and trust in this author. 3⭐️

[kaesaaurelia]

Hustler's Blood editing accountability, chapter 2

I've written a fuckoff long Good Omens fic, and now I'm editing the thing. You can read more about it here, but the main points are:

It's set in 1926 in Chicago.

I'm posting little discussions of my editing process chapter by chapter, with spoilers for the fic, editing kvetching, research blathering, etc.

If you don't want to see these posts, please block the tag "hustler's blood nattering."

The title of Chapter 2 is "an infidel's capital six days a week," the first (well, technically second) of many Nelson Algren quotes. Both this quote and the title of the fic are from his essay Chicago: City on the Make.

Wordcount: I started at 8,301 words and ended up with 8,870 words. You might think I didn't cut anything out, but I did! I took out a whole bunch of extraneous reallys and quites and verys, as well as a few paragraphs where Aziraphale tries to help Crowley with a difficult tempting job, which ended up being repetitive. This just always happens when I edit.

Song of the chapter: "Welcome Home" by insaneintherainmusic (I love an Undertale cover, and this one is so cozy.)

What happens in the fic?

Al Capone invites Crowley to his birthday party.

Aziraphale (who is very hungover and conflicted about what happened the night before) does not know who Al Capone is. Over brunch, Crowley explains, and also explains the four personas he's been using in Chicago. They are: i. Anthony Crowley -- bootlegger to the North Siders. Throws a lot of parties, is otherwise pretty bland because he doesn't like the North Siders very much. [This is never actually confirmed in the fic, but Crowley has based this persona heavily on Jay Gatsby, having read The Great Gatsby, loved it, and largely missed the point of it.] ii. Lilith Cambion -- bootlegger to Capone's gang. A wealthy widow who totally didn't (totally did) murder her husband. iii. Felix, a cipher with an obviously fake name, who gets out the vote for Chicago politicians by raising the dead and sending them shambling to the polls. iv. Merit O'Malley, an adventurous and kind-hearted young woman who volunteers at Hull House so that Crowley can try and damn its founder, Jane Addams.

Later that week, Aziraphale steals the neighbors' cat, who Crowley resurrected once and who the neighbors aren't very responsible about. Crowley is convinced the cat hates him. It is clear to anyone who's met a cat that the cat adores him. This is their cat now.

Aziraphale and Crowley visit Hull House; Aziraphale comes to the conclusion that Jane Addams might be a witch, and also that Crowley ought to be more careful about how he's operating.

Recurring character of the chapter: This chapter introduces three of the four major recurring historical characters by name, but only one of them gets any on-page time here. Jane Addams was the first social worker, and founded Hull House, an organization that provided social services to Chicagoans from 1889 until 2012. The organization is no longer around, but the remaining structure is a museum now. (One of Hull House's other contributions to the modern world is actually the concept of improv theater! Whether this is a good thing or not I leave as an exercise for the reader.)

Addams isn't as directly important to the plot as either Al Capone or Hymie Weiss, the two mob bosses who derail Aziraphale and Crowley's romance as they fight pointlessly over territory and personal honor. (Alas, Aziraphale and Crowley's romance is always getting derailed by two equally stupid sides fighting pointlessly over territory and personal honor! Sucks to be them.) But when I read her autobiography, Twenty Years at Hull-House, she was giving me Pratchett witch vibes -- maybe a little more Granny Weatherwax than Agnes Nutter, with a dash of Magrat's idealism -- and I liked the idea of her strongly-held pacifism coming in handy, which indeed it does later in the fic when War shows up.

She wasn't perfect -- like almost everyone with progressive views in the '20s she thought eugenics was a good idea, and I disagree pretty strongly with her about Prohibition and sex work -- but I wanted to highlight someone who wasn't a buffoonish mob boss, and who was trying to make the city a better place while knowing, realistically, that this work would never be over. I'm pretty pleased with the role she plays in the fic.

If you watch Ghost Files, you may be semi-familiar with her and Hull House from their episode on the Devil Baby. (Which, nerdy sidenote, I got to watch with a bunch of other Chicago nerds/ghost nerds at Hull House the night it dropped.) I dearly wanted to make the Devil Baby rumors more of a thing in this fic, but the timing is all wrong and there just wasn't room. However, I do lightly imply that Crowley started the rumors because the only "bad" thing he's been able to get Addams to do is to try and fail to lie. You can read Addams' account of the Devil Baby rumors (and her momentary temptation to lie about them) here.

Edit I am fondest of:

I posted a larger addition I made here involving Chicago politics, but I like this bit a lot:

"Yeah," said Crowley, "I think I can get it for you within a few days. I know somebody. No guarantees, but --" He mouthed something at Aziraphale, which Aziraphale didn't catch at all. "Oh! Oh, is that so? Well, happy birthday! When is it? Oh my goodness! Of course I'm free. Lovely. Can I bring a friend?" He winked at Aziraphale, who pointed at himself and frowned at Crowley. Was he the friend? "Yes, he's my, er, late husband's solicitor. Lovely man." Crowley nodded furiously, and pointed at him. His expression suddenly became stricken at something the person on the other end was saying. "No! We're just -- we're not -- well of course I've talked about him, he's an old friend. Yes. Oh, wonderful!

I just like that I was able to imply that in his guise as Lilith Cambion, Crowley has been talking about Aziraphale a lot, enough so that Al Capone asked "oh, you mean your BOYFRIEND???" over the phone while Aziraphale was standing right there.

[theygotlost]

ok 👍

cishet zone:

vimes

sybil

colon

carrot??? idk what to do with him really. still so fucked up that he had sex with angua though. that shouldnt be allowed

cheery and angua: both bi trans women

detritus: ??? its detritus man idk what you want from me. cant stop thinking about that person that told me in subsequent episodes of the watch its implied that vimes was in love with detritus. it makes me want to laugh hysterically and gouge my eyes out at the same time

nobby: nobby

I'm amending this post to add that the idea of transmasc nobby is also funny to me. diversity win! the most horrible guy youve ever met never washes his pussy.

either way it's basically like this

also sexuality doesn't matter because nobody wants him. But i do think he's a bit bicurious

moist: whatever the fuck this means

adora belle: trans woman either bi or het idc

vetinari: cis gay man. see this post

margolotta: cis bi woman

leonard da quirm: i want to say gay (da vinci style) but he's probably the most asexual guy on the disc ever. in the purest sense of the word. so utterly unconcerned with sex romance or attraction that it doesnt even register for him

drumknott: barely even registers as a character to me so I was floored to hear that drumknott x vetinari used to be the yaoi du jour in the dw fandom. that's even more false than vetvimes. he gets nothing.

granny weatherwax: the second most asexual person on the disc. SEX IS ILLEGAL

nanny ogg: fucks severely and most of those relationships were hetero since shes had so many children but law of large numbers dictates there must have been a few yuri moments in there somewhere

magrat: bi trans woman

the fool: the most bloke ever like one of those lame ass twitch streamers or youtubers (modern day equivalent to a jester if you think about it) with an awesome bisexual girlfriend

tomjon: insufferable 18 year old theater kid. the loudest and most confident so he always gets the male lead and also like the only straight guy in the production so all the girls have a crush on him. i wasnt even in theater in school but i know this guy.

does anyone want my gender and sexuality hcs for every disc character ive met

[daisyachain]

Mom argues that the lack of classic romance or any sort of romanticism in Discworld relationships was an intentional move by the author to push back against and subvert one of the most persistent cliches, I argue that that’s the case about half of the time and that the lack of romantic subtext between any of the characters, coupled up or not, shows that this non-romantic leaning is inherent in the author’s style

[annaholak]

Wyrd Sisters Abroad

For this year's inktober I'm reimagining the three Lancre coven members, from Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, as modern day witches (and sending them on a trip to America).

So let me introduce you to:

Gytha "Nanny" Ogg (canon version)

Gytha is the optimist of the coven. She has buried three husbands (and that’s just the official count), she has fifteen children, innumerable grandchildren, an evil cat named Greebo, and only one tooth. She likes smoking her pipe, eating, drinking, playing her banjo while taking her bath, and singing (mostly “the Hedgehog Song” and “A Wizard’s Staff has a Knob on the End”). She always checks under her bed before going to sleep in the hope that there might be a man hiding under it (you never know…).

And:

the reimagined Gytha "Nanny" Ogg

Don't let her pink velour tracksuit fool you; she’s not one of the working out types of octogenarians (in fact she doesn’t do anything tiring if she can help it) - but she does like to be comfy (and maybe a little bit sexy - though she probably wouldn’t admit that). Her sneakers were chosen by one of her many grandchildren and “they’re red because Nana likes red and they have stars on them because Nana is MAGIC!”. Her witch’s hat has a red ribbon on it because she does indeed like red. Not pictured is her foul-tempered, evil-smelling, one-eyed cat Greebo whom, despite all evidence to the contrary, Nanny considers to be a sweet, harmless kitten.

Esmerelda (Esme) "Granny" Weatherwax (canon left, reimagined right)

Esme is the most intimidating of the coven. She is very confident in her abilities. When she says that something is impossible she usually means “for anyone except herself”. Accordingly she is not a good loser (she hasn’t had much practice); from her point of view, losing is something that happens to other people. She’s never scared of walking through a dark forest because she knows that the most terrifying thing in it is herself. Her implicit belief that everything should get out of her way extends to other witches, very tall trees and, on occasion, mountains. Despite being an extremely powerful witch, she prefers to use headology instead of actual magic whenever possible; she is a firm believer in giving people what they need, not what they want. She is Good and she is Right, but she's not Nice. She is feared and respected, but generally not liked.

In canon she is the most "traditionally" dressed of the three Lancre witches: all black, simple dress, sturdy boots, tall witch's hat fastened to her tight bun with hatpins, and the occasional vest. Her goal is to look as much of a witch (and as intimidating) as possible.

In the reimagined version she is still dressed in all black but I opted for a different kind of intimidating-older-woman style: the ageing punk rock virgin with the evil stare.

And last but not least:

Magrat Garlick (canon version)

Magrat's name is an accident; her mother wanted to name her Margaret, but didn't know how to spell it. She is the youngest member of the Lancre coven, and the least confident in her magical abilities (probably the reason why she rarely wears her witch’s hat - instead she prefers to wear glamorous green dresses that would suit more curvy figures than hers, and slightly wilted flower crowns on her unruly hair). She also has a huge collection of occult jewellery, is a vegetarian, and believes in folk songs and the Cycles of Nature. She is the most bookish of the three witches and an excellent herbalist - something even Granny Weatherwax (who usually calls her a “wet hen”) reluctantly admits. In “Witches Abroad” she inherits a Fairy Godmother wand, but is unable to master it; the only effect she is able to produce with it is turning things into pumpkins.

And:

the reimagined Magrat Garlick

As a vegetarian on a quest to save Mother Earth, she wears clothes made of natural fibers, vegan sandals, and reusable tote bags. She’s also wearing a witch’s hat (purely because I couldn’t resist the aesthetic appeal), but it’s dark green instead of the traditional black and the shortest one of the group. She still has a soft spot for crystals and magical jewellery though. She wears an ankle bracelet with tiny bells on it (she finds the soft tinkling weirdly soothing).

[lurking-latinist]

Top 10s Meme

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit - thanks for the tag!

Rules: List your "top 10" (or up to 10 if you haven't written that many) fics ranked by kudos on AO3. Are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? Then, under a cut, provide your ranking of your personal top 10 fics (with explanations if you want!), and then tag a few fellow writers! 

My top 10 fics by kudos:

1. Book Learning (Susan, Ian/Barbara) *

1. Doubt and Doubles (Five/Tegan) *

1. Ms Smith (Thirteen & Sarah Jane)

2. don’t worry, he’s with me (five ways Donna explained the Doctor to people, and one way he explained her) (Ten & Donna)

3. Anything Once (Inquisitor Darkel/Sabalom Glitz) *

3. Vicarious (Six & Martha)

4. Time Flies Like an Arrow (Witches Fly on a Broomstick) (Discworld - Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax, & Magrat Garlick)

5. to all our nights and days to come (Seven/Romana)

6. Nociception (Seven & Ace)

7. Nitro-Nine (Thirteen & Ace)

8. Somewhere to Belong (One & Susan)

9. The Strands of Fate (Four &/ Romana - the confusing designation is because it’s sex pollen, but it’s subverted, but they still act pretty darn shippy)

10. XOXO (Six/River) **

* These got hit by kudos bots (personally, I blame Glitz) and I am not counting them.

** This might have been hit by a kudos bot? Maybe? I can’t remember. It seems implausible for it to be this high, but some of the ones that I know for sure weren’t hit by bots are also pretty surprising.

Well, yes; this is a pretty surprising list all over for me. I think the top... four... are all on there more because of the popularity of the characters than the quality of the fic. I mean, Ms Smith is definitely fun, but if I’d written the same concept with Peri I’d have gotten about ten kudos and been happy with it. Including the current Doctor is a good recipe for attention, as is including a super-popular companion who had her own spinoff. (*prays earnestly for an Ace spinoff*)

Further reflections on the top 10 below the cut, as well as my personal top 10; it got lengthy.

don’t worry, he’s with me also had the advantage of being for an exchange, which no doubt got it a few more reads than it would otherwise have had. But a lot of its kudos have been post-exchange: Ten & Donna are just very popular. I don’t like to run down things I’ve written for exchanges, because it was always my best at the time, but I was really stuck for this (one of the first exchanges I’d ever done, and before I learned to prune my offers) and felt like I just kind of squeezed something out that was honestly more like meta than fic, so I was really surprised by how many kudos it’s accumulated over time!

Vicarious is genuinely good, and it contains a New Who companion, and the audience for Martha being validated and appreciated is (it would seem) encouragingly broad, but it’s also got Six in it, which normally means I’m writing for the same ten people as always. (Love you all!) It’s been podficced and everything! And it was inspired by a mashup gif, so I think of it as a lovely example of the fannish ecosystem.

Time Flies Like an Arrow... is another early exchange fic--specifically, the exchange in which I learned I shouldn’t offer fic for books with strong authorial voices. Apparently I can do cod-Pratchett when pushed, but it’s difficult for me to enjoy looking back at it because I can see the seams. I’m glad people have enjoyed it, though! It’s got a baby in it. Nice to see I have been able to write babies at times.

to all our nights and days to come is indeed one of my best fics. But it initially made very little splash, understandably, being an angsty under-explained AU for a rarepair that about six people have ever shipped and not all of them at once. Then I mentioned it on a Tumblr post where people had been speculating about Seven in the Time War, and apparently it found its audience! XD

Nociception is very good, I’ll admit. But it’s not really me. It’s just Seven and Ace being themselves. I am but your humble chronicler. XD

Nitro-Nine is pretty much just excited flailing in fic form--it was written back when we were all excited that Thirteen was dropping Seven-era references--little did we know we were actually getting Ace back! It definitely benefited from the “posted like the day after the episode aired” boost. Not something I can normally do without access to actual time travel.

Somewhere to Belong definitely does belong in the top 10, although if I could go back and edit it, I’d file off some of the rough edges that make it obvious that it started as a meta post. I’d keep the metafictional elements, but I’d make them subtler. (I suppose technically I can go back and edit it. But I don’t like to make big changes so long after the fact. It feels weird.) It’s still my default headcanon--the one I use when I have no reason to use a different one--for Susan’s origins. (And I would take off the tag “NOT doctor/oc.” I have no idea why I was so worried about people thinking that.)

The Strands of Fate is very funny and charming, and a good transition out of the early phase in which I used to write almost exclusively gen trope-subversion ficlets. I still do all those things, separately and together, but it was almost the only thing I did for a while there. Also, it contains an undressing scene with my OTP, but not like you’d think, naturally. And (spoilers) it’s all just a leadup to a silly looms joke. And Heimeldat drew fanart of it. :D

XOXO, like I said, was probably a kudos bot but I can’t quite remember so I didn’t cross it off. I have written much better Six/River.

So now for my personal top 10. I couldn’t possibly do these sequentially, so I will just list 10 that I think represent my best and/or most fun work.

Of the popular top 10, I’d keep:

1. Somewhere to Belong

2. to all our nights and days to come

3. The Strands of Fate

and I would add:

4. and will not let me sleep (Six & Peri)

5. and opposition of the stars (Doctor/TARDIS)

6. Stand and Deliver (Six/River)

7. Paraclausithyron (Seven/Romana)

8. Like Sunshine Through Rain (Six/Charley)

9. Bestride the Narrow World (WtOVPIC - mainly Katrina and Lucy)

10. Blazon (Seven/Romana)

But, as everyone knows, the best fic is the one you’re just about to write. (So stay tuned...?)

If you have read this far... why? And thanks. I enjoyed rambling about my own fic.

I will now tag some people: @heimeldat @swinging-stars-from-satellites @strange-destinations @fortes-fortuna-iogurtum @dyonisia96 @ontologicalmoki and anyone else who wants to do it!

[gallium-spoon]

Since I did a top 5 books list in June, I guess I could do a list of my top 5 books for the second half of the year? Yeah, I can do that

Top five books I read in the back half of 2024 in no particular order:

Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett - The witches books are always among my favorites in the discworld just for the interactions between Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Oog, and dear Magrat Garlick. Not to mention between Granny and her sister. As usual, the perfectly timed dry wit is just enough to lull you into a false sense of security before something genuinely horrifying happens (the big bad wolf scene ~shudders~) and then continues right on through the horror

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter by Isabel Fall - short, fascinating, devastating. I found the commentary on the military industrial complex even more interesting that the commentary on the social construction of gender (although within the story the two concepts are woven together expertly and can't really be teased apart). Without getting too much into the backlash to this story, I think every person who claimed a woman couldn't have written this owes an apology not just to Isabel Fall specifically, but also to women in general

The Murderbot Diaries: System Collapse by Martha Wells - I swear these books just get better and better. ART and MB are pretty much winning my unofficial 'most interesting relationship in fiction' award, I love them so much! My only complaint is that I need Three to have more page time immediately or I will simply pass away

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - Ah, the glorious cow wall book that Tumblr bullied me into reading. For real though, I love this book and this world. We get to see so much more of the big picture in this installment (filtered through the eyes of a child with no idea what's going on, but that's to be expected at this point). I'm trying to think of a better way to phrase this, but there is just so much character in these characters (and not just because of the body sharing). Everyone is three dimensional and has their own wants and motives, and Nona loves them all!

Delay, Deny, Defend by Jay M Feinman - My nonfiction pick for the list. Educational and timely. A bit dry, but it's a book about insurance, what do you expect. An excellent primer for anyone curious about how we got to the current state of insurance in the United States. Not just health insurance, but all forms of insurance. I found the chapters on the role insurance companies play (or fail to play) in disaster relief to be especially eye opening

It is time for the last monthly book report of 2024! Happy new year y'all!

Books I finished this month:

Absolution by Jeff VanderMeer (I read the last 160 pages)

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman (I read the last 230 pages)

Books I read entirely this month:

Delay, Deny, Defend by Jay M Feinman (225 pages)

White Fragility by Robin Diangelo (155 pages)

The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman (340 pages)

Daemons (Parts 1 and 2) by Blue_Feathered_Corvus (35 pages)

The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman (510 pages)

Monthly page total: 1,655 pages

[noirandchocolate]

‘I seem to recall she come over and helped you out when you had that spot of plague in your village,’ she said.  'Worked the clock around, I recall.  Never known her not to treat someone ill who needed it, even when they, you know, were pretty oozy.  And when the big ole troll that lives under Broken Mountain came down for help because his wife was sick and everyone threw rocks at him, I remember it was Esme that went back with him and delivered the baby.  Hah…then when old Chickenwire Hopkins threw a rock at Esme a little while afterward all his barns was mysteriously trampled flat in the night.  She always said you can’t help people with magic, but you can help them with skin.  By doin’ real things, she meant.’

‘I’m not saying she’s not basically a nice person–’ Magrat began.

'Hah!  *I* am.  You’d have to go a long day’s journey to find someone basically nastier than Esme,’ said Nanny Ogg, 'and this is me sayin’ it.  She knows exactly what she is.  She was born to be good and she don’t like it.’

--Terry Pratchett, “Witches Abroad” (If you ever want to hear an honest and true assessment of Granny’s character, find a quote from Nanny Ogg.)

[sublimegentlemanalpaca]

Al! Hello, hope you are doing well! I was curious, what are things you like most about the discworld books and/or Terry Pratchett's work in general?

Hello to you Silver! Hardt? Preference? Whichever hello! I’m doing well thank you for asking. But as to the question proper there’s a bunch of stuff I like about Discworld and Terry Pratchett’s writing in general. Probably some stuff I’ve forgotten. The following words will likely devolve into rambles, and I’ll try my best to avoid spoilers but I make no promises Silver. No promises.

Outside of Discworld and that collection of essays I’ve only read three other Pratchett books. Good Omens (love it!) Dodger (quite enjoyed it), and the Long Earth (which shockingly I just…couldn’t get into)

In general I would sum up my favorite things of Pratchett’s work is A) Laugh out loud humor. B) Stuff that seriously makes you think (the Hogfather bit people always quote) B.5 with the addendum (this might be the first time I’ve used this word ever?) that as either Pratchett or Neil Gaiman said (I forget which) funny is not necessarily the opposite of serious. Now, with that preamble on to Discworld!

THE WORLD BUILDING! You’ve got the importance and power of Belief from things like Hogfather or Small gods. Or how Light on the Disc moves slower than here because of the magical field. The societal stuff with Dwarves which better people than me have expounded upon. The way the guilds of Ahnk Morpork (spelled something wrong there) work. Or the tiny things like those Grapes that grapes you plant but you harvest before they’re planted! It’s just all amazing!

THE CHARACTERS. You’ve got Death, Granny Weatherwax, Vimes, Moist Von Lipwig, Tiffany. Great characters all around. Building up from tropes and using them as foundation and scaffolding to make something amazing. Vetinari I love. But one of my absolute favorite characters….is none other than Magrat Garlick. I love Granny and Nanny but Magrat’s whole thing through out the Witches books is just great to read. Love it.

The References. Like with CotIG when you get a reference you can’t help but smile a little and perhaps chuckle.

Just the Jokes in general? I think some of my favorite bits come from Wyrd Sisters (me loving a book taking cues from Shakespeare? What a shocking development!!). Two in particular. The build up of the storm. Through out the book we keep getting glimpses of this storm practicing like an actors first big night as the lead in What you will (not necessarily Twelfth night. I mean what play you will care to say is this big one. Richard the Third perhaps) and it’s all leading up to name dropping joke of The Tempest!

Or one of the best moments being when Death finds himself on stage for a performance (makes sense in context) and ends up getting stage fright because he’s not used to so many people seeing him. Seeing him in that moment due to the context of the stage and the expect to see him, when ordinarily he’s only visible to Wizards, Witches, the Psychically inclined…and cats! Oh what am I missing what am I missing….Death, Moist. Humor, heart, hearty humor , humorous heart…oh dear I’m becoming Polonius. Back on topic!! Oh! Oh! Tiffany! I forgot the Tiffany Aching books with some of my absolute favorites bits. Everything concerning “boffo” the literal cold opening in Wintersmith that a laughed a good long while about when I realized…and…other things.

While I’m at it Silver, in the event you’ve not read Discworld, allow me to make some recommendations of where to start. There’s the Witches books (I’d personally start with Wyrd Sisters and read Equal Rites at some future point. But ER before I Shall Wear Midnight of the Tiffany Aching Books!). The Death Books (starting with Mort) and…I’m going to go against what seems to be commonly suggested and suggest you can very well start at the start with the Color of Magic and the Light Fantastic. People say it’s terrible to start there…at least it seems people say it? Or say people say it…but to the Dungeon Dimension with that ! It was the sky one adaptation of CoM/tLF that introduced me to Discworld (and no matter what I can’t imagine Rincewind being young despite all the art. I just can’t. David Jason is just always Rincewind to me) and it was those two that I first read followed by Mort.

I hope that answer was sufficient Silver. In the event it wasn’t, feel free to ask another question to make up for it.

Make of this What you Will. Al, the Chronographing Cottager and Prince of Naming

[laminatednewspaper]

discworld for the ask game?

Blorbo: Sam vimes! He’s a fun character and makes me sit and think a lot. His character arc from rock bottom to a happy guy with a wife and a kid in a job that lets him help people the way he’s always wanted to. I’ve literally had multiple dreams about discworld movies with him in it (better than that tv show lol). Runner up is Polly Perks because we love a lady(sorta) with so many issues. She’s got no gaydar but god can she be the person that everyone comes out to first.

Skrunkly: Cheery Littlebottom! She is such a pure and kindhearted person who is so supportive and patient and also creates large explosions on purpose. She is three feet tall and commits arson

Scrimblo Bimblo: Agnes Nitt! I love her! She’s one of my favs who grows so much throughout the series and comes into her own self and confidence! Also Magrat’s husband I always forget his name but, as the original fool to jingle miserably across the floor, I feel his character arc is awesome too.

Glup shitto: I know they get their own book, so they’re not technically glup shittos but the newspaper crew showing up in other people’s books drives me wild. Seeing them just pop up to be annoying and ask incriminating questions is always a treat.

Poor little meow meow: the great and goth Havelock Vetinari! It’s not like he’s a controversial fav or anything but so many people in the fandom at large are kinda weird and fashy about him. He’s a really complex dude who is undeniably funny and kind when he can be. I believe the only people who truly understand him are goths and queers (joking)((only slightly))

Horse plinko: Mr. Moist Von Lipwig deserves to be thrown in the plinko machine! I identify with Adorabelle, because I too enjoy watching this man sweat. He’s a compelling character, chock full of problems and it’s fun to watch him get absolutely biffed by the world. You hit him and he makes a squeaky noise like a dog toy.

Eeby deeby: Angua’s nasty ass brother who tried to kill Vimes in the fifth elephant. I know he got dealt with (no spoilers) but I DID NOT like him. Somehow after all these years he’s stuck with me. You’re not allowed to hunt my blorbo for sport through the frozen wastes of Übervald!

[selectivegeekwithstandards]

Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg may make fun of Magrat for her whole “finding herself, power of believing in herself, wishing, being her own woman” phase, but to be fair Magrat’s imagination and power of belief and need for a strong female role model was so strong that she took a completely ordinary suit of armour made because a monarch wanted to superimpose a romanticism into Lancre’s history and she magiced it into a magical set of armour that gives the wearer complete self confidence, strength and fighting ability. We know Ynci wasn’t real so the only conclusion to the events in Lords and Ladies is that it was Magrat’s own magic that caused it. 

ALSO, did anyone ever notice that all of the Witches whose point of view we’ve read have some sort of “other mind” who talks to them. 

Tiffany, who thinks a LOT invented two versions of herself to explain those thoughts - she named them, and we see in Wintersmith even a name like “third thoughts” was strong enough to give them a kind of life. 

Agnus, who’s always been made to feel guilty about her desires and wants, who wanted to be thinner and attractive and more interesting and was then guilted for wanting that as well, she gave all those feelings the name Perdita. 

Magrat, who’s always wanted to be better, stronger, more confident, able to fight her own battles finds a portrait of one of her supposed predecessors and turns the woman in the portrait into the epitome of everything she wants to be, she believes in Ynci so hard she makes her real and she puts the spirit of Ynci in the armour. 

Granny, who’s always worried about her power and worried that she’d go to the dark, who sees her sister Lillith and her ancestor Black Alice as examples of what she might become develops a dark version of herself - we see her in Carpe Jugulem when she’s kneeling by the anvil trying not to be a vampire and a voice tells her “because of you some died who may have lived, I know every dark thought you’ve ever had” and Granny says “I know who you are now Esmerelda Weatherwax”. Because Granny is the only one who didn’t give that other part of her a name, who accepted that it was a part of her, she’s the only one who can have full control over it. 

I just think it says a lot about Witches, because I don’t think that we see that kind of thing with any of the other characters, like Vimes has the summoning dark but there’s a reason for that. Because it shows just how much thinking and introspection the witches really do and how most of the magic they do is on themselves - they always watch themselves, think about what they are on the inside and outside and how they fit into the world and how they affect it.

EDIT: This post’s been getting a lot more attention recently, I can only assume it’s been coming up in tag searches or something, getting a lot more comments telling me that Vimes and the Guarding Dark, so I’d like to direct ya’ll to this reblog go into Nanny Ogg and Sam Vimes’ version of doing this, and how it also plays into styles of Witchcraft.