#maeve needs help
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Hello, darlings! I need your help - my dash, after my long hiatus, has become extremely empty and quiet. Which is no good. SOOO - I ask that you tag some blogs here that I could follow. Mainly Tolkien of course, but if it's a blog with a good mix of things and a good and cozy vibe, I'm all for it! Thank you in advance! ✨
#maeve needs help#my dash is so depressing at the moment#it's too quiet#spread the love#share the blogs
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The Seven on a road trip!
#the seven the boys#the boys#the boys prime#starlight the boys#homelander the boys#queen maeve the boys#translucent the boys#black noir the boys#a-train the boys#the deep the boys#stupid#the boys memes#the boys tierlist#endogenics dni#based on my current experience#someome help I need to pee so bad#i love furries
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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Major Tower of Dawn Spoiler Alert in the next sentence!!!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE QUEEN OF THE VALG MAEVE??? WHAT??? IM SORRY — WHAAAAT????!!!
AGAHAHAJSSHSKWPWOWBAHSHEOEOWQISVDH
WHAT?!
#once again I need to do more updates#but I couldn’t help it was a full mic drop#spoiler alert#Tower of Dawn#first read#currently reading#reading reacts#no spoilers please#ToD#Maeve#Queen of the…#???#Fae#or#Valg#WHAAAAT#edit: update: does that mean they aren’t related cause that would be great😂#Chapter 49#my brain just realized like 10 chapter later YOU MEAN AELIN IS WITH THE VALG QUEEN OH HECK NOOOOOO
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I wanna know about Maeve and Keith’s first night as an officially married couple!!!!!!
When they get married officially officially, Maeve is already pregnant 😅
It doesn't mean they can't enjoy the night, however. Host Keith would be so emotional, seeing her in her wedding dress finally all to himself. I think he would take his time, getting lost in the beauty of the moment and worshipping every part of her body as he takes her dress off. The sight of her in her lingerie might lure another beast, however. And Alter doesn't respect Host at all when it comes to have her -- and being the first to have her as their official wife? Well, gotta be Alter. Luckily, they can take turns all night long.
#host keith would be worried because she's pregnant and he doesn't want to wear her out#but this is such a magical night they can't help it#and maeve is more than happy to have them both 🤭#tw pregnancy#thank you so much andy!!!!#this is a lovely scenario#and gosh i need them to f u c k
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Was talking to one of my buddies about Maeve and Zander once they're at the point they're comfortably dating each other......
Zander would be a bit of a pushover when it came to Maeve. To the point where she can just ask Zander if she can tickle him... He'd grumble about it and be grumpy... But he'd begrudgingly let her cuz he's so down bad for his girlfriend and loves to see her happy and also probably loves when she teases him a little bit hehehe
#rii says#oc talk#zander#maeve#god I love them so much#they would have such a cute relationship#one where Zander can be open and honest about himself for once#cuz Maeve won't judge him for things#Zander being open and honest about himself makes him feel like a completely different character sometimes#I need to talk about it more tbh... cuz holy fuck they're so cute hELP-
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*takes a deep breath* I love toxic yuri Annie and Maeve so much
#trying to write when tired is not working bc my brain is just. them have you seen them. augh#maevelight#maeveannie#maeve blaming herself for everything that happens to annie? let me breathe it#annie asking God for help not because she needs him but because God fucking owes her one. my angry baby girl#screams abt my slowburn forever they're so shaped
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Me: this is a perfectly serviceable porn chapter
My brain: not sad enough
Me: they are always sad it's a tragic star crossed pairing maybe they can just have spicy time on a desk
My brain: yeah but hear me out what if it's also really sad
This has been my entire week
#dark urge x gortash#Help#I just wanted an excuse for desk sex#And instead these idiots have had two fights#And Maeve tried to blow up a public event for fun#And I just need them to stop it so I can move on to moonrise#You know the plot? Can I go to the plot?#What's that you want to have pillow talk can y'all CHILL OUT FOR ONE SECOND
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© || send me “ soundtrack ” and i’ll tell you the song that plays when ours muses are on screen together. | feat. @goldshadows
#goldshadows#𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗟: // heroism all around us#𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐒: // heaven help me I need to make it right [ goldshadows ]#𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // edits#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // yes there's a theme to the songs#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // the theme is that my sense of humour is broken#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // but also the lyrics?? spot on#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // jll / maeve / death#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // what a trio
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Really worried my car might be kaput for good :///
The irony when I need to drive for work, so if I don’t have a car they’ll let me go, but they don’t pay me enough to maintain a car or buy another one
#my car…… help#it’s so sad I can’t even save a few thousand dollars from my minimum wage job 🫠#maeve talks#I think I need to get a second job or try and find some illustration work or something#bc my job currently pays my rent bills groceries and that’s it
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This art was so inspiring I had to!!
A parody version of this thai music video lmaooo
#homelander#billy butcher#butchlander#but what if Billy is Vought CEO traveling with private jet and having this pretty supe escort?!#au where Homelander was Billy's pretty girl and not the leader of the seven terrorising others#we need more pictures of him in that outfit!!! honestly your idea was brilliant!!!!😍😍😍😍✨✨✨✨✨✨#but what if it was all Billy's hallucinations?!#him seeing a plane with captain maeve and Annie and Homelander treating passengers#also that lil cute cape#and that pretty curve of his body...#the skirt being too short and he wears 'nothing' underneath when he bends...#'let me help you with your seatbelt mr butcher' (bending intentionally to show off everything)#Billy in his dream slipping a hand under that skirt..#I'm wondering if he has high heels too?#a flashy red ones to match with whole outfit!
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just finished zugzwang..................
#keeping up with cm#s8 ep 12#it's a heavy episode I'll give you that#i could totally see diane being in love with maeve and that evolved to an obsession i thought it would make more sense? but ok#let's go with jealousy#the way he asked for the team's help and when he cried at the end? I'll need a break from the fucking show#WHEN IS SPENCER GETTING A BREAK???#ik that was mgg's fault btw#the good thing is#it gave me inspiration for angst so there's that
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Hii I am making a Spencer Reid x citizen! F reader. They have been dating for a really long time but for a while reader has been dealing with a stalker, suddenly the stalker becomes much more violent and maybe even kidnaps her if we want to get real cray cray. Just lots of protective reid and angst to comfort!!
don't lose your head | S.R.
a stalker uses your work as a tudor history professor to follow your every move, so you go to the only place you can think of for help - the BAU
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: professor!reader, fiance!spencer, erotomaniac stalker, lots of tudor history facts, kidnapping, decapitation, happy ending, s11 (post-maeve), guns, death, spencer feels a lot of guilt, unhelpful police, exhaustion, nausea, dry heaving word count: 3.71k a/n: yall if i wanted to make this into a series would you read it 😭 i had so much fun writing this!!! and yes the title is a reference to six! thank you sooo much for requesting!!
you
You told Spencer after the fourth note. While the first two had been near your office door – harmless enough to have been brushed off as a student prank, the third note had been left on your desk. When someone had gotten into your locked office to leave you an intense love letter, you knew you were out of your depth.
After years of hearing stories about the BAU needing to battle the chain of command, you thought the best thing to do was to first go to the campus police. You were a professor, so the natural assumption was that they’d look into it.
They didn’t even take a report. No one listened to you.
From the campus police, you went into the city police, then the county, and by the time you marched into DC Metro, you hadn’t slept in a day. Spencer was in Utah on a case, and you didn’t have anywhere else to go. Once DC Metro told you there was nothing they could do without an open investigation or further evidence, you went back to your apartment.
The fourth note was there waiting for you, covering the camera that you kept on your front door.
Since you had the first three notes already in your bag, you plucked the newest one from where it was stationed on the front door and stuffed it in with the others before making the trip down to Quantico.
You had no idea when the team would be back, but the security guards at the front desk recognized you from the times you’d come to pick Spencer up or bring him lunch and they let you up anyway.
There were no notifications on your phone from Spencer letting you know that they were flying home, but the only place you felt safe was in their headquarters. The idea of going to see Penelope crossed your mind, but as a profiler-adjacent, she’d likely see right through you. You never dropped by, especially not when Spencer was away.
Settling yourself at his desk, you pulled an empty manila folder from a drawer, placed the notes neatly inside, and left it on Spencer’s desk before sitting in his chair and waiting for something to happen.
“Hey, Reid,” you heard a familiar voice from behind you. Slowly, you spun the chair around and looked at the team as they filtered in the glass doors.
Confused, Spencer tilted his head at you, clearly wondering why you were staking out the bullpen as he approached you. As he got closer, he observed the bags under your eyes, bloodshot from your lack of sleep over the last few days, “What’s wrong?”
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you clutched the folder like your life depended on it – for all you knew, it did. Your eyes followed Spencer as he knelt in front of you, accepting the folder when you handed it to him, “I think I’m in trouble,” you whispered, voice raspy from lack of use.
Your fiancé flipped through the pages, reading each of them a few times while you garnered attention from other members of the BAU. Tara, Derek, and JJ all crowded around Spencer’s desk, curious on your surprise appearance.
“I…” you faltered as you tried to explain what felt inexplicable. “The first one was folded over the doorknob of my office, the second one was slid beneath the door to my office, the third one was left on my desk, and the fourth one,” you glanced nervously at Spencer, “it was on the apartment door.”
Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed, “apartment door? Our apartment door?” As he questioned you, he stood up, leaving you with four federal agents staring down at you.
Despondently, you nodded, steepling your fingers in your lap and letting your shoulders droop.
“I’ll go get Hotch,” JJ said, nodding at everyone else to confirm her intentions before turning around, making her way up the steps to Hotch’s office.
From there, you ended up in the roundtable room. Tara had personally brought the letters for the lab to be checked for prints, and the techs had sent Garcia scans that were now projected on the screen. Each member of the team had them up on tablets, but you and Spencer knew the words by heart.
Shaking her head, Tara looked up at everyone, “I mean, who writes like this anymore? ‘But if you please to do the office of a true loyal mistress and friend, and to give yourself up body and heart to me, who will be, and have been, your most loyal servant,” she shrugged, continuing to look over the letters.
“They’re love letters,” you explained, tugging the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your palms before crossing your arms in front of your stomach. “The words aren’t original, they’re all passages from the love letters of Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn.”
Pointing to something on her screen, JJ frowned, “And what does his greeting mean? He always starts with ‘my rose without a thorn’.”
Nodding dejectedly, you focused your eyes on the now-empty manila folder on the table in front of you. “That was what Henry VIII called Catherine Howard, she was his youngest wife. It’s widely accepted among scholars that she was around seventeen when they got married, but others say she could’ve been as young as fifteen,” you answered, wondering if more details would help the investigation.
“So, we have Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, which wives were those?” Rossi asked, looking around the table for someone who knew the answer.
In the middle of scrawling something on an evidence board, Spencer answered quickly, “Two and five.”
Folding your hands in your lap, you scoured your memory for anything that could be helpful. When Hotch asked if those numbers meant everything to you, you just shook your head. “Is there any significance to the two wives he chose being Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard?”
Your lips parted in surprise as the blood drained from your face, “They were the two wives who were beheaded.”
An eerie silence fell over the room, interrupted only by a chime from Penelope’s laptop, her shoulders slumped forward in abject disappointment, “The lab didn’t find anything on the letters. No prints, no hair… nothing, but uh…” her voice trailed off as she looked up at Hotch, it was almost like she was seeking permission.
Each member of the BAU looked at each other with the same concerned expression on their faces. “What do you all know that I don’t?”
“Two bodies turned up last week in the greater DC area,” Morgan was the brave soul who spoke up, “they were both missing their heads, and they were both college professors.”
Goosebumps spread over your entire body, a chill of fear causing the tip of your nose to feel cold, “Oh, I…” you fumbled over your words, standing up from your chair and rushing to leave the roundtable, nearly throwing yourself out of the bullpen on your way to the women’s restroom.
Entering one of the stalls, you haphazardly gathered your hair at the back of your head and you dry heaved into the toilet. You dropped to your knees as nothing came out.
A knock at the door barely garnered your attention, you didn’t even bother responding as Spencer was already entering the stall, “Oh, honey.”
That was it, you sat back on your heels as tears welled in your eyes, looking up at Spencer as he sat down next to you. Immediately, you turned your body to face him and leaned forward.
Welcomingly, Spencer grabbed you, firmly wrapping his arms around your torso as he pulled you into his lap, “I have you. I’m right here.” His voice was gentle, no more than a whisper as he kept a firm pressure around your body, “You’re safe with me,” he reassured you, using one hand to keep you upright and the other to rub your back as you cried.
Your face was buried in the crook of his neck as you wept, the sensation of fear ran through your body like electricity, and you felt content for the first time in days in the safety of Spencer’s arms. “I- I just teach. I’m n- not built for this,” you cried, words slightly muffled by his shoulder.
You were a history professor, teaching a course on the six wives of Henry VIII, this was never even in the realm of things you considered when putting together your syllabus.
Taking a shaky breath, you pulled away from Spencer, and he reached behind you for a wad of toilet paper to dry your face. “Spence,” you said, though it came out as more of a whimper.
“When’s the last time you slept?” He asked, cupping both of your cheeks in his hands while he studied your exhausted expression.
Shrugging, you shuffled off of him, dropping the wad of toilet paper in the bowl and flushing it, “A day? Two?” You weren’t entirely sure what day it currently was, the events of the last few had caused everything to sort of blend together.
Spencer nodded in understanding, “Okay,” he responded, slipping his phone out of his pocket before typing something out, “Why don’t you go lie down in Morgan’s office for a little while? He won’t mind.”
You blinked a few final tears from your eyes before affirming, “Yeah, uh. I need to grab something from my car.”
“Okay, are you parked in the garage? I’ll go down with you,” he offered, getting up and lending you a hand up, mumbling about the state of the bathroom floor as he did so.
After washing your hands, the two of you made your way through the hall and to the elevator before Garcia called out for Reid, “Hotch needs you for something, he said it’s urgent.”
Glancing back at you, he pursed his lips before selecting a lower-level special agent to go with you to the parking garage. “Be right back,” you told him as you stepped onto the elevator.
him
Once he was finished with Hotch, Spencer made his way back down the hallway, expecting to find yourself settling in Morgan’s office only to find it empty. Turning back in the hallway, he nearly bulldozed into Morgan and JJ, “Hey, what’s the rush?”
“Have either of you seen Y/N?” He asked, trying not to let panic rise in his voice, but there had been ample time for you to get to the parking garage and back. You should’ve been back by now.
The two of them shared a look, “Uh, no, I haven’t seen her since she left the roundtable room. Is she alright?” JJ asked, blue eyes filled with concern.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Spencer hit the number one on speed dial – your number – and brought the phone to his ear before rushing to the elevator and moving to the side as JJ and Morgan piled in with him. Frantically pushing the button for the parking level, he cursed as the phone went to voicemail.
“Reid, what is it?” Morgan asked as the elevator started moving down.
Redialing your number, Spencer muttered to himself, hoping you’d pick up, “I sent her down with an agent. Hotch needed my apartment key so that Tara and Rossi could go look for anything.”
As the steel doors opened, the three of them drew their firearms, each of them taking a different direction when Spencer realized he didn’t even know where you had parked your car. “We have an agent down,” Morgan called out, calling Garcia and putting the phone on speaker. “Baby girl, we need medical and crime scene techs down to the lower-level parking garage,” he said into the phone.
“Spencer,” JJ called out, garnering his attention as he made his way through the garage to where JJ and Morgan were now stood, Morgan was applying pressure on Agent Franks’ wound, and JJ was looking at a car.
The passenger door to your car was open, and the vehicle was chiming as an alert to get you to close the door. As he stepped forward, something glimmered at the edge of his vision. Crouching down, he picked up your engagement ring from the cement, “He’s got her,” he said, a wave of déjà vu nearly toppling him over.
Impatiently waiting for the elevator to take him back up to the sixth floor, Spencer trudged to the roundtable room, desperate for another look at the evidence board. The dates of each letter that you had received, the content of each letter, and the reason for all of this didn’t make any sense to him.
It had to be an erotomaniac, it was the only thing that made sense. You were an object of someone’s desires, and their delusion had to have become so strong that they took you.
Quietly, someone stepped into the roundtable room behind him, “What are you thinking about?”
Imminent death. Statistics of harm and death in cases involving erotomanic kidnappings. “Synchronicity,” he answered simply, entertaining JJ’s conversation as he continued to study the letters. The love letters were at the core of it all, so the answer needed to be written in there. Everything that had come to you was almost an exact copy of words written by Henry VIII.
“Ah, that’s Jung, right?” JJ asked, her voice was kind, and she was using the same tone she used when doing cognitive interviews with victims. He didn’t have time for her pity, they were on a clock.
Sighing, Spencer picked his dry-erase marker back up and scrawled on the board, “It’s a concept that he introduced, yes. It’s meant to describe the occurrence of events which seem like they’re significantly related but there’s no discernable causation.”
JJ nodded understandingly, taking a spot next to him and looking at the notes, “And what occurrence of events are we thinking about right now?”
“I suppose more than anything, I’m wondering if there’s an action that I took in the past that somehow caused me to find myself in this situation twice,” he answered, circling the word ‘the place chosen by yourself’ on the evidence board.
Humming, JJ turned to face him, “Does Y/N know?”
Pressing his lips together in a thin, white line, he nodded tightly, “I told her years ago, when we had first started dating, actually. I never thought…” his voice trailed off as he set down the marker, “She came to me, JJ. She came here to be safe, and he grabbed her from the parking garage.”
“You sent her down there with an agent, you thought you were doing the right thing,” JJ tried to comfort him.
Scoffing dismissively, he stepped back and took a seat in one of the chairs, “I can’t stop thinking about if it would’ve made a difference. If her asking me for help would have fixed anything, or if it would have ended the same way.”
Taking a seat near him, JJ paused for a moment, seemingly at a loss for words, before responding, “We can’t really afford to think like that though, in our line of work.”
Spencer scoffed, “No, we can’t. Especially not now, but the timing of it is weird. It’s been almost exactly four years, and now…” his voice trailed off as his eye caught on something on the paper. “The timing is off,” he muttered, picking up the first letter you had received.
“What is it, Spence?” JJ asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.
Shaking his head, he read the letter again, “This letter, it’s from the first letter Henry VIII wrote to Anne Boleyn, but in this version, he says he’s been waiting for months to be with her, but they waited seven years to be together because they were waiting for his marriage to Catherine of Aragon to be annulled.”
Still confused, JJ leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, “Okay, what does that mean.”
“We ruled out a student because the crimes didn’t read as mature, but what if it’s a different kind of student?” He proposed, standing up from the chair abruptly and starting to write on the board.
Rolling her chair closer to the board, she shrugged, “I’m not sure I’m following.”
Holding up a single finger, Spencer wrote a name down on the board, “Y/N has a grad student TA, he’s been working toward his PhD for seven years. He’s been her TA for three months – that lines up with the timeline in the letters.”
“Okay,” JJ said, starting to follow along, she waved at the team members in the bullpen to get their attention before hitting the call button on the conference phone. “Penelope, what do you have on a Geoffrey Williamson? He’s a TA in Y/N’s class.”
There was typing on the other line before a sound of disgust came from the technical analyst, “He is a different kind of smarmy, it looks like he transferred programs two years ago to Y/N’s university after he… oh. It looks like he bounced from foster home to foster home as a kid, his parents never fully gave up their rights but couldn’t follow through on their case plan. He was unsuccessful in his last dissertation defense three months ago,” she continued clacking on her keyboard, “after which his mentor teacher dropped him and the school gave him one more semester before pulling his funding. He asked Y/N to be his new mentor teacher and it looks like she turned him down -very nicely, might I add.”
Scoffing, Morgan crossed his arms in front of his chest, “That sounds like a stressor and a trigger if I’ve ever heard one.
“Garcia,” Hotch spoke into the phone, “Do you have a location for Williamson?”
There was more typing as Spencer could feel his carotid pounding in his throat, “It looks like he lives in student housing, but… he recently inherited an old factory after his biological father passed away two weeks ago.”
Nodding, Hotch looked around the table, “Send us the address, and forward it to Rossi and Lewis too.”
“Done, go get her,” Penelope urged into the phone before hanging up.
He slipped your engagement ring into his pocket before adjusting the strap on his Kevlar, thrumming with nervous energy as Morgan coordinated with SWAT, waiting outside of the old textile factory as the tactical team organized themselves in front of the BAU.
Spencer and JJ took the left side, Rossi and Tara took the right, and Morgan and Hotch went through the main doors.
“No!” Your voice broke out through the steel corridors of the factory, immediately followed by a yelp.
There was an awful noise then, like metal scraping against itself, “Fucking say it!” An unfamiliar male voice broke out in a holler.
Steeling himself, Spencer had to hold himself back from rushing into the room where your voice was coming from, each one of your sobs was like another strike at his resolve. “Good Christian people,” he heard you say, your voice was strained, “I am come hither to die, for according to the law, and by the law I am judged to- to-“ Your voice broke off into a heap of wails.
“What is she saying?” JJ whispered, waiting for SWAT to clear the corridor.
All of the blood had drained from Spencer’s face, “She’s reciting Anne Boleyn’s execution speech, from right before she was beheaded.”
JJ nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation – they needed to get in there, and they needed to do it quickly. SWAT waved them over, and the two of them filtered through the open doorway. The space was dimly illuminated by candles, but the only thing Spencer could focus on was your head, bowed toward the ground as you watched the ground. Above you, Geoffrey was holding a sword, ready to cut your head off.
“Geoffrey Williamson, FBI!” JJ called out, announcing themselves to the UnSub before he could get any further in his convoluted execution, “Put the sword down! Let Y/N go.”
Spencer clocked the UnSub’s grip tightening on the sword as he zeroed in on you, “I can’t! She has to pay for this! She has to finish the speech.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but as you raised your head slightly, he found himself silenced by your gaze. Roll, he mouthed the words to you, hoping Williamson was too focused on JJ to notice what he was trying to tell you.
“And by the law I am judged to die,” you continued the speech, your voice wavering.
Taking a deep breath, Spencer watched as the UnSub raised the sword despite JJ’s instructions to set it on the ground, “Y/N, stop talking!”
Releasing another sob, you finished the execution speech, “And therefore I will speak nothing against it.”
As soon as the last word was out of your mouth, Williamson brought the sword down, and as it swung, two things happened. JJ pulled the trigger on her firearm, killing the UnSub, and you rolled out of the way, the chains that bound your hands and feet clanging on the ground as you did so.
Holstering his weapon, Spencer ran over to you, dropping to his knees in front of you, “It’s done. It’s over,” he tried to reassure you, but you had begun struggling against your restraints as Spencer tried to settle you down, “Stop, it’s me, baby. Baby, it’s me,” he said desperately.
Once you had maneuvered yourself into a sitting position, you looked at Spencer with big, watery eyes before completely breaking down. “I just wanted it to end,” you babbled as your face crumpled.
“I know, honey,” he said, reaching out to pull you close as JJ contacted the rest of the team, asking for a chain cutter to get your restraints off of you as they weren’t able to find the keys on the body. “He’s gone, you’re safe,” he urged, holding you tightly.
You weren’t seriously injured, but there were enough bumps and bruises to make Spencer insist on a trip to the hospital. Until the EMTs could make it to you, he was fine with holding you on the floor of the factory. Keeping you close. Keeping you safe with him.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid hurt/comfort#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds hurt/comfort#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x y/n#margot's requests
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 54
Chapter; Highlights
Before battle tomorrow-before they might stand a chance of actually saving Anielle.
He was still working through all that had transpired these months he'd been gone. The battles and losses. Where Dorian had gone with Manon and the Thirteen. Chaol could only pray his friend was successful-and that he didn't take it upon himself to forge the Lock.
Needing to unravel all he'd learned, he'd left Aelin and the others near the Great Hall to find whatever food they could, immediately.
Part of him half wondered if the mare knew that his back ached, that he needed his cane, but that he chose to be here.
He ran a hand down her ebony mane, then patted her strong neck. "Ready to trample some Valg grunts tomorrow, my friend?"
Farasha huffed, angling a dark eye at him as if to say, Are you?
Chaol smiled, and Yrene laughed softly. "I should head back to the hall," his wife said.
"See who needs help." But she lingered. Their eyes met over Farasha's powerful back.
He came around the horse, still mindful of her biting. "I know," he said quietly. Yrene angled her head. "Know what?"
Chaol interlaced their fingers. And then laid their hands atop her still-flat abdomen.
"Oh," was all Yrene said, her mouth popping open. "I- How?"
Chaol's heart thundered. "It's true, then." Her golden eyes scanned his. "Do you want it to be?"
Chaol slid a hand against her cheek. "More than I ever realized."
Yrene's smile was wide and lovely enough to fracture his heart. "It's true," she breathed.
"How far along?"
"Almost two months."
He studied her stomach, the place that would soon swell with the child growing inside her. Their child. "You didn't tell me, I'm assuming, because you didn't want me to worry."
Yrene bit her lip. "Something like that."
He snorted. "And when you were waddling around, belly near bursting?"
Yrene whacked his arm. "I'm not going to waddle."
Chaol laughed, and tugged her into his arms. "You'll waddle beautifully, was what I meant to say." Yrene's laughter reverberated into him, and Chaol kissed the top of her head, her temple. "We're having a child," he murmured onto her hair.
Her arms came around him. "We are," she whispered. "But how did you know?"
"My father," Chaol grumbled, "apparently possesses better observational skills than I do." He felt, more than saw, her cringe. "You're not angry I didn't tell you?"
"No. I would have appreciated hearing it from your lips first, but I understand why you didn't want to say anything yet. Stupid as it might be," he added, nipping at her ear. Yrene jabbed him in the ribs, and he laughed again.
Laughed, even though every day they'd fought in this battle, every opponent he'd faced, he'd dreaded making a fatal mistake. Had been unable to forget that should he fall, he'd be taking them both with him.
Her arms tightened around him, and Yrene nestled her head against his chest. "You'll be a brilliant father," she said softly. "The most brilliant one to ever exist."
"High praise indeed, coming from a woman who wanted to toss me from the highest window of the Torre a few months ago."
"A healer would never be SO unprofessional."
Chaol grinned, and breathed in her scent before he pulled back and brushed his mouth against hers. "I am happier than I can ever express, Yrene, to share this with you. Anything you need, I am yours to command."
Her lips twitched upward. "Dangerous words."
But Chaol ran his thumb over her wedding band. "I'll have to win this war quickly, then, so I can have our house built by the summer."
She rolled her eyes. "A noble reason to defeat Erawan."
Chaol stole another kiss from her. "As much as I would like to show you just how much I am at your command," he said against her mouth,
"I have another matter to deal with before bed." Yrene's brows rose.
He grimaced. "I need to introduce Aelin to my father. Before they run into each other." The man hadn't been near the hall when they'd arrived, and Chaol had been too worried for Farasha's well-being to bother hunting him down.
Yrene cringed, though amusement sparked in her eyes. "Is it bad if I want to join you? And bring snacks?"
Chaol slung an arm around her shoulders, giving Farasha a farewell stroke before they left. Despite the cane, each step was limping, and the pain in his back lanced down his legs, but it was secondary. All of it, even the damned war, was secondary to the woman at his side.
To the future they'd build together.
As well as Yrene's conversation with Chaol had gone, that's how badly things went between Aelin Galathynius and his father.
Yrene didn't bring snacks, but that was only because by the time they reached the Great Hall, they had intercepted his father. Storming toward the room where Aelin and her companions had gone for a reprieve.
"Father," Chaol said, falling into step beside him. Yrene said nothing, monitoring Chaol's movements. The pain in his back had to be great, if he was limping this deeply, even while her magic refilled. She had no idea where he'd left his chair—if it had been crushed under falling debris. She prayed it had not.
His father snapped, "You fail to wake me when the Queen of Terrasen arrives at my castle?"
"It wasn't a priority." Chaol halted before the door that opened into the small chamber that had been vacated for the queen and knocked.
A grunt was the only confirmation before Yrene’s husband shouldered open the door enough to poke his head inside. "My father," Chaol said to whoever was inside, presumably the queen, "would like to see you."
Silence, then the rustling of clothes and steps.
Yrene kept back as Aelin Galathynius appeared, her face and hands clean, but clothes still dirty. At her side stood that towering, silver-haired Fae warrior-Rowan Whitethorn.
Whom the royals had spoken of with such fear and respect months ago. In the room, Lady Elide sat against the far wall, a tray of food beside her, and the giant white wolf lay sprawled on the ground, monitoring with half-lidded eyes.
A shock to see the shift, to realize these Fae might be powerful and ancient, but they still had one foot in the forest. The queen, it seemed, preferred the form as well, her delicately pointed ears half-hidden by her unbound hair.
Behind her, there was no sign of the golden-haired, melancholy warrior, Gavriel, or the utterly terrifying Lorcan. Thank Silba for that, at least.
Aelin left the door open, though their two court members remained seated. Bored, almost. "Well, now," was all the queen said as she stepped into the hall.
Chaol's father looked over the warrior-prince at her side. Then he turned his head toward Chaol and said, "I assume they met in Wendlyn. After you sent her there."
Yrene tensed at the taunting in the man's voice. Bastard. Horrible bastard.
Aelin clicked her tongue. "Yes, yes, let's get all that out of the way. Though I don't think your son really regrets it, does he?" Aelin's eyes shifted to Yrene, and Yrene tried not to flinch under that turquoise-and-gold stare. Different from the fire she'd beheld that night in Innish, but still full of that razor-sharp awareness.
Different-they were both different from the girls they'd been. A smile curved the queen's mouth. "I think he made out rather well for himself." She frowned up at her consort. "Yrene, at least, doesn't seem like the sort to hog the blankets and snore in one's ear all night."
Yrene coughed as Prince Rowan only smiled at the queen. "I don't mind your snoring," he said mildly.
Aelin's mouth twitched when she turned to Chaol's father. Yrene's own laughter died at the lack of light on the man's face. Chaol was tense as a drawn bowstring as the queen said to his father, "Don't waste your breath on taunts. I'm tired, and hungry, and it won't end well for you."
"This is my keep."
Aelin made a good show of gaping at the ceiling, the walls, the floors. "Is it really?"
Yrene had to duck her head to hide her grin. So did Chaol.
But Aelin said to the Lord of Anielle, "I trust you're not going to get in our way."
A line in the sand. Yrene's breath caught in her throat.
Chaol's father said simply, "Last I looked you were not Queen of Adarlan."
"No, but your son is Hand to the King, which means he outranks you." Aelin smiled with horrific sweetness at Chaol. "Haven't you told him that?"
Yrene and Aelin were no longer the girls they'd been in Innish, yes, but that wildfire still remained in the queen's spirit. Wildfire touched with insanity.
Chaol shrugged. "I figured I'd tell him when the time arose." His father glowered.
Prince Rowan, however, said to the man, "You've defended and prepared your people admirably. We have no plans to take that from you."
"I don't need the approval of Fae brutes," the lord sneered Aelin clapped Rowan on the shoulder.
"Brute. I like that. Better than 'buzzard,' right?"
Yrene had no idea what the queen was talking about, but she held in her laugh anyway.
Aelin sketched a mocking bow to the Lord of Anielle. "On that lovely parting note, we're going to finish up our dinners. Enjoy your evening, we'll see you on the battlements tomorrow, and please do rot in hell." Then Aelin was turning away, a hand guiding her husband inside. But not before the queen threw a grin over her shoulder to Yrene and Chaol and said, eyes bright—with joy and warmth this time, "Congratulations."
How she knew, Yrene had no idea. But the Fae possessed a preternatural sense of smell. Yrene smiled all the same as she bowed her head-just before Aelin slammed the door in the Lord of Anielle's face.
Chaol turned to his father, any hint of amusement expertly hidden. "Well, you saw her."
Chaol's father shook with what Yrene supposed was a combination of rage and humiliation, and stalked away. It was one of the finest sights Yrene had ever seen.
From Chaol's smile, she knew her husband felt the same.
"What a horrible man." Elide finished off her chicken leg before handing the other to Fenrys, who had shifted back into his Fae form. He tore into it with a growl of appreciation. "Poor Lord Chaol."
Aelin, her aching legs stretched out before her as she leaned against the wall, finished off her own portion of chicken, then dug into a hunk of dark bread. "Poor Chaol, poor his mother, poor his brother. Poor everyone who has to deal with him."
At the lone, narrow window of the room, monitoring the dark army hundreds of feet below, Rowan snorted. "You were in rare form tonight."
Aelin saluted him with her hunk of hearty oaten bread. "Anyone who interrupts my dinner risks paying the price."
Rowan rolled his eyes, but smiled. Just as Aelin had seen him smile when they'd both scented what was on Yrene. The child in her.
She was happy for Yrene-for them both.
Chaol deserved that joy, perhaps more than anyone. As much as her own mate.
Aelin didn't let the thoughts travel further.
Not as she finished her bread and came to the window, leaning against Rowan's side. He slid an arm around her shoulders, casual and easy.
None of them mentioned Maeve.
Elide and Fenrys continued eating in silence, giving them what privacy they could in the small, bare room they'd be sharing, sleeping on bedrolls. The Lord of Anielle, it seemed, did not share her appreciation for luxury. Or basic comforts for his guests. Like hot baths. Or beds.
"The men are terrified," Rowan said, gazing out at the levels of the keep below. "You can smell it."
"They've held this keep for days now. They know what's waiting for them at dawn."
"Their fear," Rowan said, his jaw tightening, "is proof they do not trust our allies.
Proof they don't trust the khagan's army to actually save them. It will make for sloppy fighters. Could create a weakness where there shouldn't be one."
"Perhaps you should have told Chaol," Aelin said.
"He could give them some motivational speech."
"I have a feeling Chaol has given them plenty. This sort of fear rots the soul."
"What's to be done for it, then?" Rowan shook his head. "I don't know." But she sensed he did know. Sensed that he wanted to say something else, and either their current company or some sort of hesitation barred him.
So Aelin didn't push, and surveyed the battlements with their patrolling soldiers, the sprawling, dark army beyond. Baying cries and howls rent the night, the sounds unearthly enough that they dragged a shudder down her spine.
"Is a land battle easier or worse than one at sea?" Aelin asked her husband, her mate, peering at his tattooed face.
She'd only faced the ships in Skull's Bay, and even that had been over relatively quickly.
And against the ilken who'd swarmed them in the Stone Marshes, it had been more an extermination than anything. Not what awaited them tomorrow. Not what her friends had fought on the Narrow Sea while she and Manon had been in the mirror, then with Maeve on the beach.
Rowan considered. "They're just as messy, but in different ways."
"I'd rather fight on land," Fenrys grumbled.
"Because no one likes the smell of wet dog?" Aelin asked over her shoulder.
Fenrys laughed. "Exactly because of that."
At least he was smiling again.
Rowan's mouth twitched, but his eyes were hard as he surveyed the enemy army.
"Tomorrow's battle will be just as brutal," he said. "But the plan is sound."
They'd be on the battlements with Chaol, readying for any desperate maneuvers Morath might attempt when they found themselves being herded and crushed by the khagan's army.
Elide would be with Yrene and the other healers in the Great Hall, helping the injured.
Where Lorcan and Gavriel would be, Aelin could only assume. Both had peeled off upon arriving, the latter taking watch somewhere, and the former likely brooding. But they'd probably be fighting right alongside them.
As if her thoughts had summoned him, Gavriel slipped into the room. "The army looks quiet enough," he said by way of greeting, then unceremoniously dropped to the floor beside Fenrys and hauled the platter of chicken toward him. "The men are rife with fear, though. Days of defending these walls have worn on them." Rowan nodded, not bothering to tell the Lion they'd just discussed this as Gavriel ripped into the food. "We'll have to make sure they don't balk tomorrow, then."
Indeed.
"I was wondering," Elide said to none of them in particular after a moment. "Since Maeve is an imposter, who would rule Doranelle if she was banished with all the other Valg?"
"Or burned to a crisp," Fenrys muttered.
Aelin might have smiled grimly, but Elide's question settled into her. Gavriel slowly set down the chicken. Rowan's arm dropped from Aelin's shoulders. His pine-green eyes were wide. "You."
Aelin blinked. "There are others from Mab's line. Galan, or Aedion—"
"The throne passes through the maternal line-to a female only. Or it should have, Rowan said. "You're the sole female with a direct, undiluted claim to Mab's bloodline."
"And your household, Rowan," Gavriel said. "Someone in your household would have a claim on Mora's half of the throne."
"Sellene. It would go to her." Even as a prince, Rowan's own heritage connecting him to Mora's bloodline had thinned to the point of being in name only. Aelin was more closely related to Elide, probably to Chaol, too, than she was to Rowan, despite their distant ancestry.
"Well, Sellene can have it," Aelin said, wiping her hands of dust that was not there. "Doranelle's hers." She wouldn't set foot in that city again, Maeve or no. She wasn't sure if that made her a coward. She didn't dare reach for her magic's comforting rumble.
"The Little Folk truly knew," Fenrys mused, rubbing his jaw. "What you were."
They had always known her, the Little Folk. Had saved her life ten years ago, and saved their lives these past few weeks. They had known her, and left gifts for her. Tribute, she'd thought, to Brannon's Heir. Not to... Gavriel murmured, "The Faerie Queen of the West."
Silence.
Aelin blurted, "Is that an actual title?"
"It is now," Fenrys muttered. Aelin shot him a look.
"With Sellene as the Fae Queen of the East," Rowan mused.
No one spoke for a good minute.
Aelin sighed up at the ceiling. "What's another fancy title, I suppose?"
They didn't answer, and Aelin tried not to let the weight of that title settle too heavily. All it implied. That she might not only look after the Little Folk on this continent, but with the cadre, begin a new homeland for any Fae who might wish to join them. For any of the Fae who had survived the slaughter in Terrasen ten years ago and might wish to return.
A fool's dream. One that she would likely not come to see. To create.
"The Faerie Queen of the West," Aelin said, tasting the words on her tongue.
Wondering how long she'd get to call herself such.
From the heavy quiet, she knew her companions were contemplating the same. And from the pain in Rowan's eyes, the rage and determination, she knew he was already calculating if it might somehow spare her from the sacrificial altar.
But that would come later. After tomorrow. If they survived.
There was a gate, and eternity lay beyond its black archway.
But not for her. No, there would be no Afterworld for her.
The gods had built another coffin, this time crafting it of that dark, glimmering stone.
Stone her fire could never melt. Never pierce. The only way to escape was to become it—dissolve into it like sea-foam on a beach.
Every breath was thinner than the previous one. They had not put any holes in this coffin.
Beyond her confines, she knew a second coffin sat beside hers. Knew, because the muffled screams within still reached her here.
Two princesses, one golden and one silver.
One young and one ancient. Both the cost of sealing that gate to eternity.
The air would run out soon. She'd already lost too much of it in her frantic clawing at the stone. Her fingertips pulsed where she'd broken nails and skin.
Those female screams became quieter.
She should accept it, embrace it. Only when she did would the lid open.
The air was so hot, so precious. She could not get out, could not get out—
Aelin hauled herself into waking. The room remained dark, her companions' deep breathing holding steady.
Open, fresh air. The stars just visible through the narrow window.
No Wyrdstone coffin. No gate poised to devour her whole. But she knew they were watching, somehow. Those wretched gods. Even here, they were watching. Waiting.
A sacrifice. That's all she was to them.
Nausea churned in her gut, but Aelin ignored it, ignored the tremors rippling through her. The heat under her skin.
Aelin turned onto her side, nestling closer into Rowan's solid warmth, Elena's muffled screams still ringing in her ears.
No, she would not be helpless again.
#Chapter 54#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Westfall#Lord Westfall#Fenrys Moonbeam#Aelin Galathynius#Elena Galathynius#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 54 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Hellas Horse aka Butterfly-Never again-A chance-let’s go babies!-waddlebeautifully lol-he wants to build her a house😭-maybe a nursery#when it’s all gone-together-prettier with you-they scared her from the flame-worse marks were left-she’s tired but she will#she fought she’s fighting-what’s real what is what was-whatever was left-the weeping always eases in the end-it’s lovely fracturing joy#dam Sarah not future you quote again ITS ALREADY BURNED ME ONCE-one foot in the forest-they share meals-don’t ask-line in the sand#wildfire touched with insanity-I mean how would she not be a little insane-admirable-and please do rot in hell lol-the meeting we needed#congrats they meant-they loved it about her-and Rowan-the casual easy lean on him QoS how far we’ve come *good for once*#it’s either laughing or crying so-the sort of fear that rots the soul-what then they didn’t know-he knew-lol the wet dog-watch and brooding#It’ll save her-not a coward-Mab again-the dearie queen of the west-HER-a fools dream but a dream nonetheless-he will do whatever he has to#the world didn’t know-never helpless again-he let her steal the warmth-finally their all having those talks-hi cousins again-2places at onc#Him taking care of the horse was kind-shes always helping-Farasha congrats ur the other1st2be told-happy moment cuz their having a bb#At least he was smiling again-all the names-faerie queen-couldve been worse noone got stabbed shes shad worse dinners-@her side#stood that towering Fae warrior-spokeWsuch fear&respect-Aelin shifted fae again-AGREED YRENE-i knew she’s a blanket hog lol41wfire powers#A line in the sand the titleOnly sweetness when its horrific Fae BastardLaughed anywaysBuzzard she said w love-tru joy&warmth#its bad if Elide hates you-l luv her feist-as her own implying Yrene is-wanting joy4them-No Maeve-no bed-the truth-just a name-stars
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a/n: continuation to this, but you don't necessarily have to read it first! all you need to know is reader got shot protecting maeve, and both survived. spencer has been in love with her the entire time.
“Have you called Maeve?”
She asks it on a beautiful, rainy day, about five weeks after the event in question. She’s a little too nonchalant about the whole thing, has been from the start- Spencer’s been correcting for that. He’s been treating her like something fragile, a beautiful glass figure that was almost shattered. This is something he knows irritates her, but how can he not?
He tries not to think of it, but the memory of her in a hospital bed, bandages over her abdomen, the wooziness of giving her blood. He can’t help his caution, now. People assume, quite often that Spencer was unaware of the fact he’s in love with his best friend. Like it was something he didn’t know, didn’t have to live with.
Spencer can be oblivious about a lot of things, but being in love with the person he’s shared a desk with for 4 years is not among them.
“No,” he replies, looking up at her as she sits down, handing him the cup of tea she made him. They’re at his apartment. She’s been cleared for desk work, but Spencer had been nervous about the whole thing. They’ve fallen into a rhythm of her going to his apartment after work, and for how determined he is to tell her how he feels, he’s not really able to pluck up the courage.
“Spence,” she sighs, “You have to call her.”
“I did! When it happened, I called her. We talked. We just don’t talk anymore.”
She furrows her brow in an adorable way, and Spencer’s heart threatens to fall out of his chest. He’s been playing a game of she loves me, she loves me not in his mind for the. Past few weeks.
Took a bullet to see me happy. She loves me.
She stirs her ceramic spoon, the clink of it against the mug fills the silence. She bites her lip, clearly disappointed with his response.
Wants me to call my not but kind-of ex. She loves me not.
She’s wearing this blue floral dress, and he is trying not to stare at where the fabric has ridden up, kissing the skin above her knee. She’s got lipstick on, and he tries not to read into how she’s sitting so close to him. Except he is kind of reading into it.
Before she got hurt, he had tried to shove this feeling down- tried to ignore the swoop of his stomach when she walked by, or when she gave him a compliment, or when she let him do a card trick for her. He tried to shove down how much he fucking hated it the one time she had a date pick her up at the office.
She’s just easy to be in love with. She writes little smiley faces on post-it notes and leaves them on his desk, and when the whole Emily thing had gone down, she’d spent weeks taking care of him through her own grief.
She’s sitting on his couch. Five weeks ago, she was half-dead in a hospital bed, and now she is on his couch, in a beautiful dress after returning from the job they both share.
He does not want to call Maeve.
The comfortable silence turns tense as the episode of Doctor Who plays in the background, and he’s still a little gunshy- she’s breathing, she’s okay. He feels creepy, but he lets his eyes close for a moment so he can hear the sound of her breath, to know it’s still there.
“Spencer,” she says, after she pauses the show, and he turns fully to face her, “I am okay.” She grabs his hand, and he takes a couple of seconds to process the touch as she places it over her own wrist. ‘I am fine. They fixed me up. You are allowed to stop worrying.”
Her tone is even, but intentional. She’s giving him permission, as if his presence is some guilt-driven notion that’s stopping him from getting what he really wants. It’s true, though, that he doesn’t always believe she’s okay. Notices how she’ll wince when she bends a certain way, and the scar by her eyebrow is healing well, but he still searches for it in her face.
He savors the feeling of the soft skin of her wrist under his touch, running his fingers over the junction of her hand and wrist with delicate affection. How she hasn’t figured out he’s in love with her is anyone’s guess.
He wonders what it would feel like to kiss her there.
“I know I can call her,” he manages to say back, meeting her warm gaze in a maybe too honestly in love glance, “I’m where I want to be.”
“Before I got hurt, you picked out an outfit, you asked for advice on dating, Spencer. You did that. I just-“ she sighs, moving her hand from his grasp and pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, “The piece of you that wanted that is obviously still there. You don’t have to spend a Friday night with me in your apartment because you feel guilty that I got shot.”
“You’re not here because I’m guilty-“
“Then why-“
“You’re in my apartment right now because I am in love with you, and if you’re out of my sight for more than twelve hours than it’s like I forget that you’re still alive. That you didn’t get yourself killed before I ever got the chance to actually tell you.”
He’s not yelling. Well, he’s kind of yelling. Talking loudly, anyway. Her eyes widened and he’s hyperaware of how close she already was, is. She smells like lilies and her, and it’s all so present. She could have died. She might have never heard it.
She’s heard it now, he supposes. All the weeks of agonizing, notebooks he’s managed to fill in the last few weeks trying to figure out a way to say it to her that could charm her into loving him back- all gone. He’s told her, now.
All the cards are in her hands.
Her doe eyes almost sparkle at him, her head tipped to the side in a fond, loving gesture, and he wants to kiss her, wants to feel her faded-lipstick pout against his mouth. He wants his I love you to turn into I can have this.
“Spence,” her voice is a trembling, insecure thing. One half of his mind wants to rage at him- there’s no way she’s going to tell him she loves him back, that someone like her could ever want someone like him. But the other half, one that seems dangerously like hope- she took a bullet for him. She didn’t even think twice. “You’re in love with me?”
It’s like it’s not even him who replies. Some bitter thing takes over his voice and speaks for him.
“How could I not be? It’s you.”
It’s then he notices, that oh, she’s tearing up.
A beat passes, and Spencer sucks in a deep breath before rambling an absurd amount.
“You don’t have to- We can still be friends, obviously, you know that. But we can, I just- I needed to tell you because when you were in that hospital bed and you’d never heard me say it, I just couldn’t live with you never knowing. But now you do, and you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay-“
He doesn’t get to keep talking, because she grabs him by the collar of his shirt and kisses him. She’s warm and beautiful and her hair brushes up against his cheek and there’s something in him that takes over when he moves to cradle her head between his hands, both desperate to keep her in his grasp and savor the moments he gets to hold her. She tastes like cherry chapstick and something completely undefinable.
When she pulls away after a moment that feels entirely too short, heavy lidded eyes meeting his in affection, and Spencer thinks he’d like to do that for the rest of his life.
“I love you too,” she says back, and he commits it to memory, the sound of her so-sweet voice wrapping around the words he’s fantasized about hearing since the first time she smiled at his joke about philosophy. “I’ve loved you a really, really long time, Spence. I just thought I lost my chance, you know with- with everything. I never really thought I had one.”
He can’t even speak, really. He doesn’t think he can wrap his head around the fact that she felt like he wouldn’t like her back.
It doesn’t feel like a concern, now, when he leans in to kiss her again. She smiles into him, and Spencer memorizes the feel of her waist encircled in his arms, when he realizes that this is the heart he is able to hold without limits.
She loves me too, he thinks. She is safe, she is okay, and she loves me back.
On the following Monday, when Morgan sees the two of them with linked hands before Hotch gets to the office, he doesn’t say anything.
He does hand Emily 20 dollars, though.
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