#made this not rebloggable as i feel like it was just a ramble and i didn't articulate myself clearly enough so if it breaches containment..

[lesbianherald]

Dude I agree with your season 2 takes so hard. Another thing that pissed me the hell off was how the 3 characters that were established as having suicidal thoughts all ended up sacrificing themselves at the end. Super cool! not fucked up at all!

BRO I KNOW 😭

I THINK ABOUT THAT ALL THE TIME. ALL THREE. OF THE SUICIDAL CHARACTERS. ALL THREE.

Not to be crass. This is obviously a serious subject. But like, it's so genuinely bizarre and thoughtless it actually makes me laugh. I think because there's nothing else I can do. It's ridiculous.

The messaging, specifically with Jinx, was fucking chilling, and the justification the writers used for it after made it worse?

Like, oh, Jinx needed to sacrifice herself so vi could be happy with cait like are you FUCKING . SERIOUS. LIKE DFKJSHDFKjlh WHAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT WOULD MAKE SOMEBODY THINK THAT LIKE?!?!? WHAT LOGIC ?! HAS ANYONE IN THAT ROOM BEEN A SISTER ?!!? DO THEY KNOW WHAT SIBLINGS ARE ?!?!

Unfathomable. unfathomable.

Very much with jinx it was like, people with mental health problems are disposable burdens type thing. point blank. it really read like that. The fucking breaking the cycle shit? I was like, surely, surely, this is going to be pushed back against and Vi is going to immediately go save her because clearly she's expressing suicidal thoughts and running away but then instead She has SEX IN HER SISTERS PRISON CELL LIKE EX FUCKINGKDSFH !L??!?!

Sorry. You got me started on something. Like. You just. You can't make this shit up. I literally can't believe we all saw that with our own eye balls.

I think Jayce and Viktor on their own was a really suitable and beautiful ending for both of them, to be honest. But in this context its incredibly bizarre.

All three. All three.

I CANT DUDE

[shopwitchvamp]

Skaters and Minis are "only" $50, so there is that at least! :D For real tho, unfortunately if they weren't priced how they're priced I'd have long since run out of money and they just wouldn't exist at all anymore. They're small batch, custom printed, made to my requested measurements to fix XXS-6X which isn't something you can find easily. Maybe someday I'll have expanded to a point that I can have a budget option but that'll (most likely) mean needing to operate at a much MUCH higher volume than I do right now.

“Omg, I love these! They go up to size 6X AND they have pockets?! Wow!! But do you have anything longer?”

Sure do, no problem!!

“YES these are great!!! But what about.. longer?”

I gotcha!! Comin’ right up!

“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! But… how about if I’m feeling like it’s the kinda day where I need my clothing to be bifurcated???”

Never fear, joggers are here!

"Finally! Pants that are just as fun as skirts! They're so cool!" /scene

🖤witchvamp.com🖤 (ᵖˢ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˢᵉᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʲᵘˡʸ ᵖʳᵉᵒʳᵈᵉʳˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵒᵖᵉⁿ ⁿᵒʷ)

[brushes-of-sage]

Nah but vol. 24 really has me feeling things for the LoV now 😭😭😭

[itsnotmourn]

SPOOKY MONTH ASK MEME

⟡ — i haven't seen one on tumblr yet so i figured it might be fun to make one! i tried my best to keep the overall energy positive :3 and sorry for all the "why" questions; i'm just nosey and curious. you're welcome to answer seriously or with silliness !! send a number to the user/reblogger (if they ask for it) for them to answer the question!

1. When did you start watching Spooky Month? Was it the same time you got into the fandom (e.g. interacting with the community, posting art) or was it different?

2. Who is currently your top three (3) favourite characters? Please feel free to explain why!

3. If you have any, share some headcanons of your most favourite character!

4. With any character of your choice, what is a song that you associate with them the most?

5. Is there a ship that you enjoy the most? Why?

6. Who do you think is an underrated character?

7. Who is your favourite villain/antagonist so far, and why?

8. What is currently your favourite episode?

9. What is your favourite shot and/or scene from the animated series?

10. Do you have a favourite background art from the animated series?

11. Do you have a favourite soundtrack/music from the animated series?

12. Which is your favourite end credit artwork so far?

13. What is your favourite official Spooky Month art (stuff that is posted outside of the episodes like posters, prints, doodles, etc.)?

14. Do you own any official merch? If not, what is one piece of existing merch that you wish you own? Is there anything that you wish it existed already?

15. From fanart or fanfiction, did someone's work made you think more positively of a character/ship? Free free to shout them out, whether if it's one person or multiple people!

16. Do you have any Spooky Month OCs you'd like to share and ramble about?

17. From the Tender Treats credit art, who would you eat and/or drink? Assume that it’s not the actual character, just regular food that looks like them.

18. Do you have any theories so far on either the lore or (any) character-specific development? It can be your own or someone else's theory.

19. What is your current prediction of Spooky Month’s ending? It can be as simple, brief or detailed as you want.

20. What do you hope will become a Spooky Short in the future (e.g. seeing character-specific lore, character interaction between x and y, etc.)?

[ganondoodle]

reminder that my totk rants are me just rambling about my thoughts, ideas and complaints, im not trying to analyze anything, be smart, be right, debate or convince anyone who likes it that its bad just bc i think its bad or simply dont like the choices made, im literally just spilling out my brain so it doesnt keep haunting me

if you think something makes sense that i think doesnt i, and forgive me for being so blunt about it, do not care why you think it works, my opinion of this game will not change and i am okay with that

you are free to disagree with anything i say of course but i really dont care why, sorry

(sth i said only in the tags before but added now in this edit bc i think its important: its not bc i dont want to hear other peoples opinions and live in ignorance or something, but bc im tired and i PROMISE you i have seen 99.9% of those arguments already)

im not trying to be mean, aggressive or dismissive, but again, these rants are just me rambling with no intention of arguing with anyone, the only reason im still posting whenever i think of something thats bothering me (even if it might be dumb or be disproven in game bc i am not all-knowing and might be possibly misremembering something), and letting those posts be rebloggable/interactable is bc i have been told by quite a few people that they like reading them or that they feel validated in their own disappointment

thats it.

[my-spookybunnies]

With the X Files 30th Anniversary coming up I thought I'd just share this very long rambling thank you.

I only joined the fandom two years ago, when I was flicking through Prime and saw a show called 'The X Files' in the category labeled 'TV CLASSICS. Good ol' Mulder and Scully where on the thumbnail and while I had no idea who they were, by a stroke of fate I had seen a gif set earlier that day on tumblr of the two of them that had caught my eye. Maybe this is what made me click on that thumbnail or maybe the stars had simply aligned BUT whatever it was I was hooked. From the moment Scully drops her robe in that motel room with Mulder standing there like a confused lemon, I knew I was in deep.

As any sensible person does I then immediately binged the series while simultaneously routing through tumblr, looking for more X Files content. And boy did I find it.

I was so happy to find not only people where still making new content about the show, but there are amazing stories out there nearly 30 years old that can still be enjoyed and shared due to the efforts of The X File librarian's out there who have made sure that no ones hard work has been lost. It still baffles me sometimes that people had written 50+ thouasnd word fics (that are better than some books I've read) for free! Just because they love The X Files so much.

I've met some amazing online friends due to TXF and even started writing fanfic, something that I used to be ashamed of, but now I tell people with pride.

It's amazing to be part of a fandom that has such longevity, passion and genuine warmth. I want to say thank you to every single person who writes fanfic that makes me laugh and cry till my heart hurts, everyone who creates amazing fanart for our dynamic duo, every gif maker, gif reblogger, prompt maker and episode analysis sharer.

The fact that we are all here now 30 years on from when Mulder and Scully first graced our screens- whether you are an OG fan or a newbie like me, proves that there is something infinite about The X Files, it represents something bigger that the TV screens it was shown on. What was supposed to be an edgy sci-fi cop show, accidently turned into one of the best love stories of all time. Mulder and Scully took us along on their hair-brained adventures and even though their story is no longer televised, they now live on through us.

So once again a big thank you to everyone past and present in The X Files fandom for making me feel right at home and not alone when I worry I'm a little too obsessed with a red headed medical doctor and her spooky partner.

Here's to another 30 spooky years 👽🥳

[alchemiclee]

i've been told/keep seeing posts about people suddenly not liking when people add tags to their posts with their own thoughts/feelings/opnions/experiences, and even people that say not to tag with certain common organizational tags (like ships for example i see the most. some people use a ship name for organization purposes and not necessarily for shipping. for example i use "collei and her dads" for cyno, tighnari, collei art for my organization so I cam find them again and theres been a few artists screaming not to use ship tags and that could be seen as a ship tag. so what do i do? not organize your art into my tags and let it get lost and never seen again? not share your art at all? kinda silly but whatever, ill just ignore your art).

I personally think that's all a bit ridiculous....i don't know if that's a more recent thing (like with twitter people coming here suddenly and expecting to act like this is twitter) or if it happened in the years since I took a break from tumblr. but bAcK iN mY DaY we used tags as a little whisper to add our own thoughts without interrupting the main post. adding hard comments or replies was more seen as "too much/too loud" if it wasn't something directly meant for OP. tags were usually never meant for OP and were always for the reblogger and their followers. these days more and more people seem to think tags on their posts are all speaking to them directly or interrupting their post (not to say you can't speak to OP through tags, like i'll say nice things about their art in tags) but not everything in someone's tags on a post they reblog from you is for you! you can ignore it!!!

I know on twitter (where I went after leaving tumblr a while back) people use quote retweets to speak to the OP often. but not always. I sometimes would quote a tweet to add my own thoughts while using the quote as like a citation to credit OP for the idea. but I have a few times where the OP thought I was speaking to/about them and got very upset about it. one was a large account who quoted me back and got very nasty and sent their minions after me. quotes are louder than tumblr tags. so that's more understandable, and I was always very hesitant to do it, but I personally see indirect tweets about another post as extremely rude and posting screenshots of tweets on twitter is also rude.

I loved coming back here mainly for the tag system! I missed being able to share a post and also quietly add my thoughts. go on long rambles related to the main post without stealing their post completely or needing to make a whole new post. I know most old tumblr users get that and don't care, probably. I NEVER saw anyone complain about it in the past. only say how much they love it. it was just part of how this site worked for us. a culture thing we naturally created. so i'm assuming it's mostly new users who don't get this culture? it also doesn't help tumblr made it so you now see tags in your notes tab and not just comments added and replies. before, you would have to go to "someone reblogged your post" to see if they added tags because tumblr only showed comments. I personally LOVE when people add tags to my post with their thoughts and stories and whatnot. ai i'd go to every reblog I got to see if there's tags added. it's like an uncommitted interaction. they dont expect a reply, i don't expect a reply. they are isolated thoughts, but still related. it's still a form of interaction, without the pressure of being direct, and I feel seen/heard when they add them. (it means they're not a bot, auto reblogging my posts /hj) seeing tags on my posts i'm not just shouting into the void alone and someone sees me. me adding tags to a post is a gentle "you're not alone/I hear you/im a real person not a bot" from me. but it also could be me saying "your post inspired me! I want to write something too! but im being quiet about it so i dont take away from your post and your post gets all the credit" when I add my own little tag ramble.

so the fact that people are now suddenly being upset by people adding their own experiences and thoughts to tags is super disappointing and and frankly annoying. tags don't take away from your post and you can just ignore them! no one is forcing you to expand the tags in your notes and read them! hardly anyone will see them. most will only read your post and not people's tags! I know no one usually reads my tags because i've added secret messages to the end of my tags and no one ever responds to it lmao things like send a pic in my ask and i'll draw it for you.

yes I know "RESPECT PEOPLE BOUNDARIES" but it kind of disrespects my needs as well. theres a thin line between someone's boundaries being crosses and someone's needs not being met. but that's a whole debate i'm not willing to have so don't start it. (not that kind of boundary is easy to not cross. not bringing up arguments. but asking people to not use a main function of a website is kind of pushing it imo...) yeah I want to respect boundaries the best i can, but unless you say in the post "don't reblog and add your own tags" no one will know and you get upset when no one knows. and no, no one will read your profile/pinned post before reblogging. no one will go to the original post and read your tags. they will only reblog it right off their dash if they aren't seeing it directly from you in the tags/for you page. some people will reblog 100 posts a day. they won't go to every profile/original post before reblogging just to see if you have any special conditions and rules for your random one post out of hundreds they see a day. that's too much to expect, honestly, sorry to say!

but this is tumblr. maybe it's better for people to accept the culture/etiquette here and let it happen without complaining, or realize this isn't the place for them! because it doesn't meet their needs and boundaries! and that's ok! it doesn't have to be your place. you don't need to stay here if you don't like how it works! asking an entire website to "respect your boundaries" by not participating in a basic or essential function of the website is a little ridiculous to be fair....

no i'm not saying your boundaries don't deserve to be respected. i'm saying this probably isn't the place to have those boundaries in the first place. because there's am established way this site functions that works in counter to your wanted boundaries, so it just doesn't fit your needs. and like I said that's ok! you don't need to stay here if it upsets you that much! it's better if you find a social media where people can't share your posts. like a simple blog site that doesn't have a share function! or like Instagram? people cant share those posts. (sorry, I dont know much about social media) if you really want people to stop adding tags that bad, either turn off reblogs completely, or ask staff to add a notification option to turn off seeing added tags on reblogs! (if you're veeerry lucky, and not a trans woman, they might listen to you)

[toxicgreenslime]

finally getting around to blocking porn bots.. following people back.. i actually didn't know people elected to follow me after I assume the few funny posts I've had about like maul star wars and stuff that have made their way around.. hi sorry that my tags are deranged rambling disjointed thoughts and irrelevant stories and I just reblog stuff I think is funny most of the time because my #1 priority is having a laugh, also that like I don't tag most anything properly I'm an impulse in the moment reblogger. a true adhd haver jerma985 style. if you needed me to do that you could send me a message about it I get not wanting to see certain stuff. idk if anyone reads these fuckin essays other than my crossover mutuals but yeah tumblr has not been my habitat of choice for like 11 years at this point and idk how to talk to people here now or like even follow people I feel awkward anxious the whole kit and kaboodle. so. yeah. ok peace and love on planet earth goodbye

[fadebolt]

Oooooh, these two! I've rambled about them many times, and I feel like the previous rebloggers already said everything important that needed to be said (so you know… go and read them). But I'll still try to add in my 2 cents into this.

My vote on this one should be obvious to anyone who has been following my opinion writings for a while. So I won't beat around the bush here - I'm going with shelter_above.

However, one thing I will note is that I sort of got to appreciate RAIL02 quite a lot more, than before.

Especially since I've learned that I've made an incorrect assumption within my previous writings about it. Because as it turns out, it actually is possible to use that room as an entrance into the main part of Outer Expanse, and so, it's not just an exit.

I… have absolutely no idea how I've missed this, Gourmand's Wiki page literally has a GIF of them jumping across the gap that I previously assumed to be large enough to prevent players from using this room as anything but an exit (I'm talking about that big one to the left, though I don't imagine Survivor or Monk could make that, since their throw-boosts through Spears are nowhere near as strong). So all you RAIL02 fans have my sincerest apologies for this little misreading of mine!

Admittedly, this does make me view the gameplay of this place in a way better light, especially since putting in optional shortcuts or alternate paths that are accessible through movement tricks that are well known by veterans is the exact thing Downpour should do.

However, shelter_above is just too great, for me to not put my vote on it.

For one, it's the sole reason why Metropolis feels so fun when you first enter it. Can you just imagine what it would be like if it didn't exist, and if you ever died before finding any of the other shelters in Metropolis (which are all decently far away, by the way), you'd have to backtrack through the top of the Wall, and then that long hallway room? Every. Time. You. Die.

Considering the already mixed reception of the Scavenger Chieftain boss fight, and its subregion, Metropolis would absolutely plummet on most people's tier lists, if this shelter was to be removed. After all, it would ruin the part of the region people find the most fun!

There's also the visual aspect, which… I'll be fair, RAIL02 absolutely knocks it out of the park on that department too! However, I do care about the looks of the shelter way more, mostly cus it simply stuck with me more.

And it's hard to pinpoint why, since both rooms present something unexpected, and both are truly one of a kind. It might just be personal biases, since I frankly can't think of a single semi objective reason to explain this. Sometimes, you just can't provide reasonings for these things.

So yeah, shelter_above is my pick, and it seems to be the choice of the majority too, which was to be expected. After all, the shelter is a part of every Metropolis route ever done, whereas RAIL02 is only part the upper Outer Expanse routes, meaning that it might as well not exist if you walk in through the bottom. That still doesn't diminish the quality of the room, of course (though if a room was horribly misplaced, then I would rate it pretty lowly, but this one was placed pretty much perfectly), it'll just mean that less people will care about it. So it's quite impressive that it actually managed to make it this far, over rooms that way more people will run into. Hats off to you, floating sky train-line!

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 298.1 R5

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

[pengububs]

lay down with me for a bit.

♡ t. aone x reader

♡ no warnings, just fluff.

after having a long day at work, aone was more than happy to finally come home to you.

things felt harder than usual that day. nothing seemed to go his way and everything was stressing him out. he was glad when his shift ended, and he was excited to go home.

trying to get his key into the keyhole, he failed. his hands were growing shaky and his nervousness kept growing. that was until the door was pulled open.

you stood infront of him, opening the door for him to come inside your shared home. but aone didin't want to just go inside. he really just wanted to hold you.

and so he left no time go wasted, quickly walking up to you, already open-armed.

it catched you by suprise, but you were glad to give him the comfort he was looking for, tangling your arms thought his, and pulling him in for a loving hug.

"'nobu, let's lock the door, shall we?" you questioned after a while of hugging each other. he hummed, slowly letting go of you, just so he could wait for you to hug him some more.

you helped him to pull of his jacket, telling him that there was food in the kitchen. but the food could wait.

it might have ready tu red into some kind of routine that you'd always walk into the living room, waiting for aone to lay down with you, whenever he had a tough day.

this time was no exception. already sitting on the couch, you tapped beside you, waiting for aone to walk up to you.

easing himself out of his shoes, he made his way straight to where you were waiting for him, carefully laying down with you, placing his head on your chest.

hearing your heart beat never failed to calm him. he'd close his eyes, while you would tell him about anything that came to your mind. you liked to gently scratch his skull while rambling on whatever you read, or experienced that day.

hearing your chuckles hall through your chest somehow made him happy. he felt close to you. and he liked feeling that way. he was glad, about not having to talk, or explain everything that went wrong.

hearing you talk instead, was something he was more than grateful for. he would consider himself to be the luckiest man alive, even.

you were always treating him so kindly, warmly, and gentle. you treated him in a way that no one else could. and he felt about you in a way, he didn't want to feel about anyone else, ever.

he sometimes would drift off, and so would you. waking up a few hours later, just to heat up his food again, and go to bed soon after.

he was so glad, that he finally got to go to bed with you every night, holding you throughout your sleep, and waking up with you every morning. there was nothing more he could wish for.

as long as you were there, he had everything he needed.

♡ rebloggs are appreciated!

♡ i love reading your comments too!

♡ 7th of february 2022.

[missskzbiased]

Betting Big

Summary: As the one and only Seo Changbin, you would never think that you would be willing to pay for someone to go out with you. At least not until you met her. To be honest, not even after you met her but here you were now… Agreeing with splitting the money from a bet that you never made… And all this for what? Just to get a chance to make her fall for you

WC: 1,5 K

Genre: Romance, Fluff

AUs: High School, Fake Bet

Pairing: Seo Changbin X Fem! Reader X ???

Rebloggable Masterlist    //   Main Masterlist   // Tag List

Warnings: none

Notes: This is in “Changbin’s POV” although written as Self-insert

This is going to be a miniseries, I guess. I’m not sure how many chapters I want to make. I’d like if you guys could vote on this:

Minho as BFF to lovers for the Triangle

Han as Friends to lovers for the Triangle

No Love Triangle at all

                                                        ///

     Everyone but you wanted to be the popular guy.

     Not because you were above things like wanting to fit on the wild battlefield that high school was or because you didn’t need people’s approval to feel like a whole person, and even less because you hated being under everyone’s eyes… No. You were petty enough to admit that you loved the attention. The reason why you weren’t like everybody else was that you were the popular guy that everyone wanted to be. That’s right… You were what every single one of those kids wanted to become and you didn’t need to do anything to have your way.

     At least, that was what you believed exactly thirty seconds ago.

     The silent pause following your invitation wasn’t expected, and neither was the way her judgmental eyes scanned you from head to toes. There was this foreign feeling of being embarrassed, and that sudden urge to shrink and hide from the crowd that you didn’t allow to show on the surface. You were too cool for this. So you settled for clearing your throat, leaning on her table in what you hoped to be a flirty way, and glanced at your friends’ table in search of some sort of silent moral support that you were so in need of right now.

     You could say that you weren’t the most subtle human being in the world or else her eyes wouldn’t have snapped right to where you were looking at. As the bunch of overly stealthy people that you definitely were used to be with popularity clogging your better judgment, the four of your friends stared right into her eyes; the expression of a deer caught in headlights plastered over their face. If you had any hopes of not humiliating yourself to that strange girl in the corner ─ who you happened to have a big, fat crush on for at least one year now ─, they were immediately crushed by your own best friends.

     Very well.

     At least, it couldn’t get any worse than this, right?

     Then you learned the valuable lesson of not speaking too soon.

     “You want to go out with me?” That wasn’t the kind of incredulous tone that was meant to hide one’s excitement… It was more like that bewildered contempt that one cannot hide at all.

    She couldn’t even process the fact that you were bold enough to believe that the mere thought of dating you could ever have crossed her mind… And once more, the humiliation hit you like cold water coming directly from an angry, merciless waterfall. Was that how normal people felt in their daily lives? Jeez… It was so much better to be popular! How do those kids even handle that? Definitely not the life for you.  

     Your internal rambling had you missing the slow shift on her expression; rejection dissolving to give way to some kind of resigned interest: “How much?” She spoke up in curious confidence, and you must have been too lost on your thoughts because you had no idea of what she was talking about.

     “Excuse me?” You blurted out ever so eloquently.

     “How much is into this bet?” She asked as if it was the most reasonable thing in this world, and the lack of response had her scoffing, to further prove your point, “Really? You expect me to believe that the most popular guy in school would come all the way to my table, conveniently under his friends’ eyes, just to ask me out on a date with no second intention?” She raised her brows amusedly, chuckling at what seemed to be the best joke she had ever told anyone “Right” She huffed, crossing her arms and tilting her head to take a better look at you.

     That was the moment of the truth.

      You could either tell her that she misunderstood everything and explain how much you really liked her ─ which would put everything at risk because she clearly didn’t believe you could like someone like her ─ or you could play along with it and score a chance to win her heart on a date.

     The answer seemed to be pretty obvious to you.

     “Yeah, right” You laughed dismissively, pulling out the chair so you could sit down beside her. There was no sign of resistance in her face; moreover, there was a shimmering curiosity dancing in her expectant eyes, “You totally caught me…” You admitted grudgingly, shrugging to show her how much you didn’t care about it. Fun Fact: You actually did! And you would very much appreciate her to know that… Damn it! What the hell were you getting yourself into?! “So… Should we split it?” You suggested nonchalantly ─ just like the smooth son of a bitch you were.

     “What about fifty-fifty?” She proposed shamelessly; face twisting in a funny expression that tried to say that she didn’t care about it either but giving it away that she did, “How much is in for me? Like… A hundred bucks or something?” She leaned back on her chair before shrugging, not willing to admit that she was interested in this.

     “You’re good” You chuckled while nodding in agreement; mimicking her as you leaned back on your chair, “Sounds great, right? Getting a hundred bucks to date this hot stuff here?” You grinned as you gestured at yourself, getting nothing but an unimpressed look from her.

     “Look, Changbin…” She began hesitantly “If we’re going to make this work, it might be better for you to let me do the talking, okay?” She smiled sarcastically, looking at you with a mix of… You weren’t even sure what. Was constipation considered a feeling? If so, she looked constipated by your existence, “I’m not gonna lie… I want the money, and as long as we don’t have to do anything stupid like kissing or having sex, I think I’m in” She simply agreed while looking into your eyes.

      She had such pretty eyes… The most beautiful eyes you have ever seen… The type of eyes to hold so many emotions that you couldn’t help but wonder if those would ever be directed at you. Right now, you could see they were. However, the usually captivating trait wasn’t that heartwarming now… Not when there was nothing but pained resignation in them… Not when they made so damn obvious that she didn’t like you back… Not when they shift to sheer excitement to the sound of someone else’s voice.

     “Hey” Was the single word that brought her to such a state of happiness; eyes twinkling and a genuine smile cracking on her face as she looked to the guy talking to her “What’s this?” He asked while gesturing to the both of you before squinting his eyes in suspicion “This table has always been our, shortie, fuck off” He scoffed; sitting down as if it didn’t even cross his mind that you could stand up against him.

     “Short—?!”

     “Shut up, Minho” She rolled her eyes, even though you could see the amusement in them, “He’s here to ask me out on a date” She clarified nonchalantly; eyes attentive to his reaction.

     “Of course he is” He snorted, shaking his head in disbelief while poking his food.

     “I am” You stated seriously while boldly offering him The Look, “Is that a problem?” You arched your brow in a silent challenge.

     “I don’t know…” He dropped his fork; eyes connecting to yours with such a murderer intention that for a second you considered just playing it off as a joke “Is that a problem?” He asked back, studying your face.

     Thank Lord you were a proud Leo or else the “No, Sir” on the tip of your tongue would have slipped just like that from your mouth. Instead, you just returned his glare, choosing to be silent so you would not show him how much he scared the shit out of you. The silent battle was promptly cut off by the damsel in distress herself, a not-so-subtle kick under the table that had Minho wincing on his seat.

     “No, that’s not a problem” She stated firmly enough to end the discussion “I’m going out with him” Even though you were aware of that, it still made your stomach flutter.

     “Okay” He said bitterly; lips twitching slightly “So that’s not a problem” He forced a smile, picking his fork and scrambling his food mindlessly.

     “Great!” You offered her a bright smile, too excited to hide your true feelings.

     “Great” She stated monotonously “So… See you later?” She arched her brows as if to say that it was time for you to walk away.

      “Of course” You agreed promptly “I can walk you home later… So… We can arrange the details” You suggested hopefully, and she seemed to embrace the idea.

      “Sounds like a date” She smiled.

     “Yeah” You chuckled; rubbing your arm before waving at her and heading to your friends’ table.

     Well… Getting a date: Checked.

     Having your feelings reciprocicated: Hm… On progress?

     First confession meeting any of your expectations: Hell no...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rebloggable Masterlist    //   Main Masterlist   // Tag List

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[morgana-ren]

So I'm just gonna say this, sorry if it's weird or kinda TMI but I just had to tell you this, you and your blog, your writing, vents, blurbs and responses are like the one thing that keeps going. I hate my job, things around me, I have a hard time connecting with others and everything like that...but when I come here it just makes everything better. You always make my day better. It makes my heart feel not dead and gives me something to laugh or daydream about. I get so excited when you post, I check constantly for any updates or reblogg. I know that sounds really fucking creepy probably but you are the reason I get out of bed somedays so thank you for that. Thank you for doing this, I know I'm just a stranger but I do love you and all that you do for everyone. My life wouldn't be as good without you. So please let us know if you ever need help with anything, I'm sure everyone that follows and loves your content agrees that you are extremely important to us and we'd love to support you.

Okay sorry creepy psa over, have a great rest of your day!

This isn't creepy!

This is the nicest thing anybody has said to anybody ever and it made my entire day 💕

I'm really happy my dumb little rambles and my stories help you! I'm totally on the same level with hating my job and having a really hard time connecting with people and the things around me, so I understand exactly what it's like.

I'm so so happy it helps and I really do hold out hope for us that things will get better. But until then, I'll keep uploading and talking and hopefully making your day just a little bit better. 🥰💖

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Slur of affirmation...?

Hello there! I know I’m a self-proclaimed reblogger and my personal ramblings aren’t probably what you follow me for, so I apologize in advance. I just feel I need a blank space to shout my feelings in, so here we go.

TW: the r-slur, casual ableism, a whole lot of imposter syndrome

I am an autistic girl. At least, I like to think I am.

The label is extremely important to me. I was diagnosed late, aged 16, so I spent most of my teenage years and my whole childhood in the dark about what even am I.

I’ve always had issues. Picking up basic skills and being self-sufficient, making friends, expressing myself, controlling my emotions, adapting to social norms, you name it. I’ve experienced both meltdowns and shutdowns and sensory difficulties. I was switching constantly between doubting my capability to feel feelings and dealing with sudden outbursts of rage, gloom and hate towards myself that usually ended up with me yelling at someone or breaking stuff.

I had my special interests that I used to talk about almost constantly (...some things never change) and an atypical speech pattern that has also stayed with me to this day. Coupled with my rather poor social skills and... uh... “fiery” reactions, I was bullied relentlessly all through the kindergarten (2 years) and elementary school (which in our country lasts 9 years). In high school, I was on peaceful terms with everybody but still generally disliked.

Anyway, why am I typing all of this? It sounds like a sob story absolutely irrelevant to the topic.

I just wanted to provide context for my mindset.

When growing up, I didn’t know I was autistic. I didn’t know that there are people just like me, or at least very similar to me, or that some things that I’m being chastised for aren’t actually bad (e.g. stimming), and those that are could get better if only I knew how to protect myself (e.g. meltdowns).

I simply thought I was evil.

And today, a friend of mine called me a r*tard. We have this sort of a slightly questionable relationship where he acts in a very abrasive and demeaning manner to me in public as a running joke but is sweet to me in private. I know, that sounds messed up but since I know he doesn’t mean it and he’s saying it only to be an edgelord, I don’t register it as harmful. But I digress!

Today he said I was “his favorite r*tard” in a public chat after I said hello.

I don’t reclaim the slur in any way, shape or form. I actually find it very uncomfortable and in my friend circle it’s known that I don’t enjoy being called that. The friend in question doesn’t reclaim it either, he’s neurotypical (as far as I know).

But!

It made me feel... good this time?

(that sounds awful, I’m sorry)

I spend a lot of time just casually doubting my diagnosis.

My diagnosis helped me a lot to understand myself, to find resources and people to relate to, to find the vocabulary for my experiences. It helped me hate myself a bit less.

But something in my brain yells that I don’t deserve any of that. I must be a faker, right? Because I always am. I’m a vile pretentious person that only emulates emotions of others and everything about her is fake, made up to garner social points and to sift away resources.

I’m not self-dxed. My stance on self-diagnosis is that it’s valid anyway (at least in case of autism and similar). Professional diagnosis is a privilege that not everyone has.

But even having that coveted paper from my psychiatrist doesn’t help persuade my brain in the slightest.

Because she didn’t diagnose me properly, right?

Basically my therapist did an evaluation and then forwarded me to her saying she suspects I probably am autistic. And the doctor was like, “Whatever,” and she gave my mother a piece of paper.

So when I get called the r-slur that is used to dehumanize and attack neurodiverse people, I feel... affirmed.

They recognize me as an autistic enough to demean me for it!

Today was the first time I felt that. Usually I feel only discomfort around the slur but today... today it was the slur of affirmation and I feel guilty for even saying that.

[illyrian-lover-flower]

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! (It is already in my country)  

So, like you can guess, this is a new year's note - in which I wanted to thank each and every one of you guys!  

Thank you all so much for the likes, rebloggs and follows.

If I would have the chance to, I would come through whatever screen you are looking at right now, and hug dear life out of all of you.  

This year, as shitty and stressful it had been for nurses, doctors, bus drivers, teachers Kindergarteners' and students (you can imagine, the list goes on and on) was to me at least a good year.  

Though I don’t want to talk down Covid at this point, but look at the bright side of it. Perhaps some of you have been able to write more due to the new free time or have found a new hobby, etc.,etc.  

It had been a shit year, yes, but just think about it - I am not aware how much Tumblr means to all of you, but in the little time I used it, it made me feel more comfortable with myself.  

I might have gone out of the house even lesser than I originally do, but all this kind feedback of you guys had me always giddy to write something new and I am thrilled to share my new chapters with all of you.  

Also, I think some New year’s resolutions will be interesting for you guys:

1. I will correct ‘The life I once dreamed of’

      Here on Tumblr, I have already prove read most of the Chapters I posted,            but I haven’t on AO3, which is the reason why this is my very first New          Year’s resolution - oh, I’ll also do my very best to upload the Chapters from AO3 here.  It is quite a difference😅

2. There will be more chapters of ‘The chosen forest keeper’

        I feel so sorry for all of you that sit there waiting for a new Chapter and it really pains my heart to know how little I have already accomplished of where I want to go with it. So, there will be definitely more updates of it in 2021.  

3. I am taking prompts  

  There won’t be a prompt list, perhaps I’ll upload one in July but I am not sure about it. If you guys have a prompt in mind that could be cute for Elriel - feel free to send it in and I’ll do my best to work on it as soon as I read it.  

4. There will be a writing break from May to July!  

I know, it is contractionary to all my points above, but I will write as much as I can till May, after that there might be some smaller chapters, but it is my final year of school so I am having exams coming up. I know there are many authors here that can do both, write and study, but I don’t want to mess things up. I tend to work long into the night and I don’t want to accidently post my Biology essay or something or write some gibberish about math in my fanfics.  

I hope you understand that.  

I know I am rambling at this point, but I want to explain my situation as best as I can to you (damn were that many ‘I’s😅) So, I will use this break mostly for studying, but the break will also allow me to spend more time with looking at flats. Because I will be in the need to move for my apprenticeship and until now everything I got were ‘No’s. So please understand that.  

And again, all I can say, thank you guys for sticking till now with me!  

You all don’t know how happy I have been to have the first feedback from one of you and it really let’s my heart bloom that you liked my fic’s already when my English was still pretty bad.  

I am just thinking of the first chapters from ‘The life I once dreamed of’, boy had it been prickling in my fingers to take at least the first six chapters down and write anew. But I won’t do that, because I think then I will never finish it, so prove reading has to do😅  

Also, I just wanted to say thank you to @ladynestaarcheron for organising the secret snowflake project. I absolutely had my fun during the project and the hundreds of drafts I had really helped to improve my writing skills.  

So, it was through and through a success. Also, I am happy you liked your gifts @autophobiaxx😊 and since we are already at gifts – I just have to thank you again my lovely snowflake @darlinminds. I just loved your gift and I am a complete puddle of goo for it.

And keep in mind 2020 had been a shitty year, but 2021 can only get better! (And I don’t want to hear you pessimist, like my entire family, say now ‘But it can!’ - perhaps think of the little success you can make through the year)

And for last (I swear this is my last point!) I want to thank:

 @thefangirlofhp, @tswaney17, @verifiefangirl , @elriel-incorrect-quotes, @rhysanoodle, @julesherondalex, @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn, @chococannolii, @elriel-oblivion and all of you amazing other people out there that have been publishing elriel content! (from incorrect quotes to theories and drawings and fic’s)  

I swear all of your cute fluffy, heartbreakingly angsty, funny and smutty fics have made my goddamn year! I always love to see notifications of you on my feed and I couldn’t help myself as to include this in the note (I am so sorry if my rambling annoyed you at this point) Also @ncssians I am thrilled beyond believe to read about the Acotar characters as gods!  

Happy new year and a splendid 2021 everyone!  

And for those who are interested here is a little snippet of ‘The chosen forest keeper’ Seed three: The sun arose each day with your smile, now darkness shall claim me :

Vomit dreaded to spill from her rosy lips as she saw the red liquid. Fersia, as well as the other three females looking unbothered at the display of shed blood.  

Whose blood was it?

Was all Goldenrod could question herself, as Fersia spoke to the female on the throne of nightmares and fire. Bloodred painted lips moving as she answered the wish of the forest green eyed female, that bowed her head in respect. Tugging lightly at Goldenrods white sleeve, but she couldn’t move.  

Couldn’t do anything as she stared at the deep, red puddle.  

“Who are you?” echoed a mighty voice through the grand hall. Vibrating even in the farthest corner of the room as her blazing blood red eyes assessed her visitor, that stood with a shaking body and sweat covered skin in her throne room.  

[m-cree]

you know what I am feeling very full and very thoughtful right now and I never really ramble about my own experiences so much as I ramble about my opinions but it’s pride month and I love being queer and I love other queer people and I just need to write this shit down, I think.

my sexuality and the way I approach it was so deeply affected by the way I was raised and the experiences I had as a child and ive never really given myself time to think about those ideas until now. it’s only recently that I realised the reason why im borderline repulsed by the idea of dating men despite being attracted to them and identifying as bisexual is because when I was 8 or 9 I briefly went to a school where everyone in my class just up and decided that me and a boy who I hung out with were dating, even though i had in no way expressed interest in him – keep in mind I was LITERALLY a prepubescent child. I can even recall a time where a girl who I sat next to at lunch had said “don’t u think [name] is cute?” and I responded with a shrug because “yes” or “no” was out of the question for me because even as a child when the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend is this cool, mystical thing that only cool kids have, my interest in males was very little.

this entire series of events was the cause of my first emotional breakdown, which, by the way, I had FAR too early in life, and also led to a whole bunch of other issues. being told by a load of girls in my class that this boy apparently did like me, when I didn’t share the same feelings, gave me this giant narcissistic complex (that I still experience to this day may I add) where I crave the idea of male attention, validation, and affection despite not wanting to return any of those feelings, that severely affects the way I act around males, even males who are my close friends.

watching a tv show with my dad when I was a little older, maybe 12 or 13, made me certain I was never going to be able to come out to him. a transgender character said that he’d known he was a boy since he was a child, and my dad just muttered very passionately about that being “bullshit” and various other expletives. the feelings I have towards my dad and his opinions is very strange because I know he is fully accepting of queer and trans people. my brother is gay, and my dad is fine with it. my cousin is trans, and even if he again said that he didn’t think my cousin was old enough to know he was trans (even though he was 17 at the time of coming out and at least 19 or 20 now) and often trips over pronouns and names, he still does try to respect his identity. ive even talked to my dad before about homophobia and the application of politics to sexuality and he’s said things that I whole heartedly agree with like “there’s nothing political about the way someone is born, it’s not something they can help, it’s just the way they are” and yet im still absolutely terrified of coming out to him and know I could never do it myself. my mum has had to out me to my siblings (upon my request) and has told me she will do the same for my dad, although I don’t know if she’s done that yet, and the uncertainty of whether or not my dad knows about my sexuality makes every visit to his place a  minefield.

even coming out to my mum was a trainwreck because I never even intended to come out the way I did. I had an emotional breakdown in a car park because I have certain problems with communicating because sometimes I don’t understand what people (particularly adults) are asking me/don’t know how to answer them and when that happens my brain just shuts down and I cant respond. my mum didn’t understand the problem and just assumed it was some other ~teenager thing~ so asked me if I was upset and repressing things because I was having issues with my sexuality. I nodded and didn’t actually say a word the entire time because despite being proudly and angrily and purely bisexual I physically cannot say the phrase “I am bisexual” out loud to my mum. I can acknowledge myself as queer, I can say “we” when referring to queer people when I talk to her, but I cant call myself bisexual in front of her, and I don’t know why. my mum has two queer children – even if my brother is raging racist transphobe – and is very clear about being fully supportive of both of us, but I cant verbally state my identity to her. I also cant talk to her about queer stuff for too long without crying.

i don’t rlly have a concrete end to this post. mostly bc it’s a vent post and not made to be ~rebloggable~ but I felt the need to spill some stuff bc it’s only recently that ive realised im not as stable in my queer experience as I thought I was. let’s just end it with “I want a gf” bc at least it’s true

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. When was the last time you had an argument with one of your parents? It’s been awhile since we have an argument, but we often bicker about things concerning me and health stuff. They get frustrated and they worry about me, which I get, but it’s just hard. I know what I need to do, it’s just actually doing it.

2. Do you still live at home or with a guardian of some sort? If so, when do you plan on moving out, if ever? If you have moved out, how did your relationship to your parents change after that? I do still live at home with my parents, younger brother, and our dog. I don’t have any plans for the foreseeable future to move out. It’s best for me to live at home at this time and I’m fine with it. 3. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven’t been diagnosed with anything new in awhile. I’m just dealing with ongoing, chronic stuff. I’m very concerned about things regarding my physical and mental health. It’s not good right now. 4. What’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to other people? How did this affect you? Some days I’m in an extra moody mood and I just keep quiet and to myself, saying little to anyone and when I do it’s short. However, outside of my immediate family that I live with, I haven’t spoken to friends and family for a long time. Some in almost 2 years.

5. What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? Ha, well I definitely can’t judge people who still live at home with their parents cause exhibit A here. I guess a blanket judgment I might make is when people just don’t own up to their faults or hurtful behavior and just sit there and try to lie to your face instead of admitting to their issues or justifying it in some way. It’s frustrating with people like that. 6. What is something seemingly small and inconsequential that will cause you to avoid a person? Uhh. I admit to distancing myself from people, particularly guys that I’m interested in, because I don’t want to bother them and I want them to reach out to me cause then I know they really do want to talk to me. It’s so completely stupid and childish, though. It also always backfires because then neither one of us will message the other and then more and more time passes by. It hasn’t worked in my favor at all. I don’t know if that quite answers the question, but it’s what came to mind. 7. Does it bother you to see certain traits of yours in others? Do you know why you have this reaction? I don’t like seeing other people be hard on themselves and put themselves down like I always do to myself. I don’t like when others are hurting.

8. What was the last meal you skipped? Do you skip meals often or do you try to avoid that? I pretty much always skip breakfast. it’s quite rare that I ever have it. 9. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? It’s not pleasant. 10. Is there anything you rely on someone else to do for you, or anything someone else relies on you to do for them? Yeah, there’s a few things. Some things I need help with and can’t do on my own. 11. What was the last thing you had for breakfast? I will say that now and then there are two days a week that my mom has the opening shift at work and she’s up getting ready when I’m still up, so she’ll make me some eggs or oatmeal. That happened Monday and she has the opening shift today. 12. Do you tend to eat the same few things all the time or do you vary your intake? Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? Are there any commonly enjoyed foods that you don’t like? Yeah, there’s a small amount of foods that I eat and most days I have some of the same things. I am a picky eater, but there’s also some other factors that contribute to my weird eating habits and the certain foods I eat. I used to be such a foodie until a couple years ago. As for foods that are commonly enjoyed by others that I don’t like, I don’t eat sushi or any seafood. I feel like everyone else loves sushi. 13. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal or anything that you sleep with? Where did you get it and what makes it a favorite? I don’t have any I sleep with, but I have a TON of giraffe stuffed animals. I’ve gotten them from various places over the years. 14. Do you have good body image? Do you feel more confident about your body or your personality? What is one thing about yourself about which you do feel particularly confident? Noooope. I’m very self-conscious about my body and my looks. Especially nowadays. I don’t like much of my personality either, except for my sense of humor and I consider myself to be understanding. The only thing about my appearance that I like is my hair after it has recently been colored and layered. Until the roots start showing and the color fades some, it looks nice. 15. How likely are you to compliment other people? How do you react or respond when you receive a compliment? What are your favorite types to receive? I often will think like, “Ooh I like that shirt” or “I really like their hair” or something, but I don’t often say anything unless I know the person. Like people I don’t know will compliment me on my hair or my purse, but I’m not one to do that. I’m too shy for that. Compliments are nice, but I’m so awkward about it.

16. Describe the last thing you reblogged? How many posts do you tend to reblog during a day? Some photos of Alexander Skarsgard from the new show he’s in, The Little Drummer Girl. I like more stuff than I reblog, but it really just varies. Like if there’s new photos of Alex and my dash is like full of stuff, I’ll reblog a lot. And like on Wednesdays for example, I reblog a lot after American Horror Story and Riverdale air. 17. Do you tend to reblog or make your own personal posts more often? On my main blog, I’m a reblogger. I haeven’t made a personal post on there in quite some time. This side blog is all personal posts. 18. When was the last time you felt like you had no one to talk to? When you can’t talk to anyone about your problems, what are some ways you cope alone? I feel that way a lot, even though I do. I know I could talk to my mom and I have friends who would be there for me if I let them, but... I tend to just keep to myself or vent and ramble on here. 19. Who in your life do you get along with best? How about the least? How often do you have to interact with these people? There isn’t anyone in my life that I don’t get along with, but I’m definitely closest to my mom and younger brother. 20. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. 21. What was the last important event or holiday celebration you attended? Was this something you wanted to be a part of, or did you only go begrudgingly? The last important event I attended were a few graduations last year. 22. When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? What about the last time you did something right just because it was right? Hmm. I guess by not doing some things that I should be doing, and I know I should be doing, regarding my health. 23. When you do good things, do you do them because you want some sort of reward or recognition or do you do them just for the sake of being good? I like to do things for others because I genuinely enjoy it. 24. When was the last time you felt especially appreciated? What about unappreciated? I don’t feel I’ve done anything to be appreciated for in a long time. 25. When you fill out social media bios and such, how do you typically describe yourself? Is describing yourself something you have a difficult time doing? I hate doing that cause I never know what to say. I’m just like, “Hey, I’m Steph” or I’ll just be like Steph|29|CA. lol. 26. Do you feel like you have a good idea of who you are as a person? What you like, what you stand for, what you feel, etc? With some things, but there’s also a lot that I don’t understand about myself or am still trying to figure out. 27. What is one unusual belief you have? Has anyone ever made fun of you for your beliefs? Hmm. I don’t know. 28. What is something that brings you a lot of comfort? I don’t know. 29. When was the last time someone apologized to you? What about the last time you apologized? Are apologies easy or difficult for you? I don’t recall for either one. I certainly have some apologies to make, though. :/ I can admit when I’m wrong and am quick to blame myself anyway, but I just don’t know how to explain to certain people that I need to apologize to what is going on that or even what to say. I don’t feel an apology is good enough at this point. 30. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? My brother bought me Starbucks and lunch a couple days ago.