#sorry if this is worded horribly. hopefully no one misunderstands and gets angry at me. if you want to respect boundaries so much

[alchemiclee]

i've been told/keep seeing posts about people suddenly not liking when people add tags to their posts with their own thoughts/feelings/opnions/experiences, and even people that say not to tag with certain common organizational tags (like ships for example i see the most. some people use a ship name for organization purposes and not necessarily for shipping. for example i use "collei and her dads" for cyno, tighnari, collei art for my organization so I cam find them again and theres been a few artists screaming not to use ship tags and that could be seen as a ship tag. so what do i do? not organize your art into my tags and let it get lost and never seen again? not share your art at all? kinda silly but whatever, ill just ignore your art).

I personally think that's all a bit ridiculous....i don't know if that's a more recent thing (like with twitter people coming here suddenly and expecting to act like this is twitter) or if it happened in the years since I took a break from tumblr. but bAcK iN mY DaY we used tags as a little whisper to add our own thoughts without interrupting the main post. adding hard comments or replies was more seen as "too much/too loud" if it wasn't something directly meant for OP. tags were usually never meant for OP and were always for the reblogger and their followers. these days more and more people seem to think tags on their posts are all speaking to them directly or interrupting their post (not to say you can't speak to OP through tags, like i'll say nice things about their art in tags) but not everything in someone's tags on a post they reblog from you is for you! you can ignore it!!!

I know on twitter (where I went after leaving tumblr a while back) people use quote retweets to speak to the OP often. but not always. I sometimes would quote a tweet to add my own thoughts while using the quote as like a citation to credit OP for the idea. but I have a few times where the OP thought I was speaking to/about them and got very upset about it. one was a large account who quoted me back and got very nasty and sent their minions after me. quotes are louder than tumblr tags. so that's more understandable, and I was always very hesitant to do it, but I personally see indirect tweets about another post as extremely rude and posting screenshots of tweets on twitter is also rude.

I loved coming back here mainly for the tag system! I missed being able to share a post and also quietly add my thoughts. go on long rambles related to the main post without stealing their post completely or needing to make a whole new post. I know most old tumblr users get that and don't care, probably. I NEVER saw anyone complain about it in the past. only say how much they love it. it was just part of how this site worked for us. a culture thing we naturally created. so i'm assuming it's mostly new users who don't get this culture? it also doesn't help tumblr made it so you now see tags in your notes tab and not just comments added and replies. before, you would have to go to "someone reblogged your post" to see if they added tags because tumblr only showed comments. I personally LOVE when people add tags to my post with their thoughts and stories and whatnot. ai i'd go to every reblog I got to see if there's tags added. it's like an uncommitted interaction. they dont expect a reply, i don't expect a reply. they are isolated thoughts, but still related. it's still a form of interaction, without the pressure of being direct, and I feel seen/heard when they add them. (it means they're not a bot, auto reblogging my posts /hj) seeing tags on my posts i'm not just shouting into the void alone and someone sees me. me adding tags to a post is a gentle "you're not alone/I hear you/im a real person not a bot" from me. but it also could be me saying "your post inspired me! I want to write something too! but im being quiet about it so i dont take away from your post and your post gets all the credit" when I add my own little tag ramble.

so the fact that people are now suddenly being upset by people adding their own experiences and thoughts to tags is super disappointing and and frankly annoying. tags don't take away from your post and you can just ignore them! no one is forcing you to expand the tags in your notes and read them! hardly anyone will see them. most will only read your post and not people's tags! I know no one usually reads my tags because i've added secret messages to the end of my tags and no one ever responds to it lmao things like send a pic in my ask and i'll draw it for you.

yes I know "RESPECT PEOPLE BOUNDARIES" but it kind of disrespects my needs as well. theres a thin line between someone's boundaries being crosses and someone's needs not being met. but that's a whole debate i'm not willing to have so don't start it. (not that kind of boundary is easy to not cross. not bringing up arguments. but asking people to not use a main function of a website is kind of pushing it imo...) yeah I want to respect boundaries the best i can, but unless you say in the post "don't reblog and add your own tags" no one will know and you get upset when no one knows. and no, no one will read your profile/pinned post before reblogging. no one will go to the original post and read your tags. they will only reblog it right off their dash if they aren't seeing it directly from you in the tags/for you page. some people will reblog 100 posts a day. they won't go to every profile/original post before reblogging just to see if you have any special conditions and rules for your random one post out of hundreds they see a day. that's too much to expect, honestly, sorry to say!

but this is tumblr. maybe it's better for people to accept the culture/etiquette here and let it happen without complaining, or realize this isn't the place for them! because it doesn't meet their needs and boundaries! and that's ok! it doesn't have to be your place. you don't need to stay here if you don't like how it works! asking an entire website to "respect your boundaries" by not participating in a basic or essential function of the website is a little ridiculous to be fair....

no i'm not saying your boundaries don't deserve to be respected. i'm saying this probably isn't the place to have those boundaries in the first place. because there's am established way this site functions that works in counter to your wanted boundaries, so it just doesn't fit your needs. and like I said that's ok! you don't need to stay here if it upsets you that much! it's better if you find a social media where people can't share your posts. like a simple blog site that doesn't have a share function! or like Instagram? people cant share those posts. (sorry, I dont know much about social media) if you really want people to stop adding tags that bad, either turn off reblogs completely, or ask staff to add a notification option to turn off seeing added tags on reblogs! (if you're veeerry lucky, and not a trans woman, they might listen to you)

[multiplefandomsblog]

request; Can I request Nagito, Kokichi, and Rantaro with an s/o that has a hard time understanding why someone feels a certain emotion in situations?

pairing(s); rantaro x gn!reader, nagito x gn!reader, kokichi x gn!reader

warnings; blood, violence, broken noses, strong language, kind of angsty — sorry that nagito's is super long- i started off with him and i haven't written in a long time so i just shit all over the place, fluff at kokichi, i have mood swings I'm so sorry about the whiplash you are about to witness

note; yesss i am back to finish these requests yurrrrrr sjansjdhfbasdkjfds I'm not gonna make a big announcement or anything(I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything in my life rn, so I'm sorry for people who are waiting on me—) , just gonna spit out as many finished requests as i can, sorry for the abrupt pause of everything by the wayz ill be (hopefully) regularly posting works from now on.

(also this request was kind of vague, so i used the example of someone getting upset/angry and reader not understanding why; i hope that's okay :'))

Nagito Komaeda

◊ I think Nagito would understand your struggles more than anyone else.

◊ And… honestly, it kind of reassures him that you share a struggle with him. It makes him feel less alone, less like the odd one out.

◊ Being similar to someone like you in any way, even if it was a genuinely difficult and real struggle; was a blessing in disguise for someone as lowly as him.

◊ Getting that out of the way, Nagito would never see your struggle as what it is. The way he views you, how highly he puts you up on a pedestal, as well as how much hope he believes you to hold; he, at first*, won't help you at all with your struggles.

◊ As a strong believer of hope overcoming despair, good defeating bad; Nagito is positive that the struggles you hold will always be defeated, bludgeoned into a despairing sludge by your all-mighty hope.

◊ And at first, he won't even think of this as a bad thing! You should be proud of it, of course, unless it stirs despair within you.

◊ * That being said, if he sees you struggling with your inability to understand human reactions to an awful point, he would put his obsession with hope aside, and focus on trying to help you as your boyfriend.

◊ Though I'm afraid, he wouldn't be much of a help, because he gets stuck on this one too.

◊ If you ever unintentionally angered someone, however, and/or provoked them to potentially hurt you; he'd immediately step in and lay the damp washcloth of apologies on the accidental fire you had set.

◊ Though there is a high chance, he'll make it worse by saying something he hadn't intended to sound condescending. It just came out that way.

◊ Nagito would never put your well-being before his insatiable need for you to accelerate and empower your hope.

◊ He's your boyfriend before he is your admirer of hope.

— "What...? How can you- how can you be so calm!?" Confusion, fear, and intimidation seemed to overwhelm you as you stepped back, eyebrows creased in utmost confusion as the person before you, seemed to have been angered by your wording.

Suddenly, you had started repeating and reversing over what you had previously said, scanning your wording for things that could have been perceived as offensive; only to grow even more confused as you had found none.

"I... What? Are you... are you mad at me or something?" Your genuine tone of voice, as well as the genuine look of confusion on your face, had been blurred and unnoticed as the ugly emotion of anger seemed to destroy their human senses— and the person had unfortunately taken your question as an insult.

Without another word, the sickening crunch of flesh and bone hitting flesh and bone echoed throughout the trial room. Flesh and bone that had thankfully, and unfortunately, hadn't belonged to you.

"Holy- Someone hold them back!"

"There's... no need for that...!"

Turns out Nagito took the hit for you.

He peeled the hand tending to his nose away from his face, revealing the nasty bruising and the blood dripping down his nostril—despite the gruesome sight of it all, he still seemed to be smiling. Smiling as if something amazing had just happened, and he was dying from the joy he had been feeling.

He wasted no time to spew out whatever he could think of, despite the shock and adrenaline from getting a broken nose, he still fought through the struggle to speak properly, as well as merely breathing without immense pain.

It was like second nature to him, to steer the blame and the aggression away from you—even if it almost killed him. Anything... to protect his hope.

"Haha, this is... Whatever you need to achieve your hope, whether it be a good old-fashioned beat-down or... murder;" a laugh crossing the line to psychotic erupted from Nagito's scratchy throat.

"I personally invite you all—especially (name)—to bruise me up and brutally murder me for your pleasure, and your hop!" —all at the expense of him making sure no one gets the chance to lay a single finger laid onto you.

◊ He loves you, and he swears this is out of (mostly) good intention <3?

◊ i- i think i lost it somewhere in the middle

Rantaro Amami

◊ Literally, the most understanding, supportive, and comforting man you will ever meet and have as an emotional support boyfriend when you struggle with humans and just... humans.

◊ For first impressions, Rantaro will remain as understanding as he already had been, and is. If he visibly sees you struggle with the reactions of others to specific situations, he'd never start up shit, as well as assume you mean something bad immediately. He will always give you the benefit of the doubt, and the fact that he loves you may have been a factor — but I swear, he does this with everyone else too.

◊ If you ever responded/reacted to something that normal human beings usually respond differently, Rantaro would definitely notice, but he wouldn't say anything until he had his suspicions confirmed — and until someone else decided to get pissy or upset about it.

◊ If you ever get into a conflict with someone about how you seem emotionless( even though you're really not ), Rantaro will always be there to defend you and back you up. The first thing he would do is try to understand your side, then their side, and then try to see how the two fit together, and how you both grew to have your reaction.

◊ Most conflicts and arguments end peacefully, at fault to Rantaro's experience of being exposed to many personality types(his sisters), and completely normal and human struggles(also his sisters).

◊ Though, notice how I said most.

◊ Some situations and arguments, really can't be resolved, nor looked past—especially when personal, and very strong feelings are involved. You really can't avoid it when people are still grieving.

◊ But even so, Rantaro will remain a mediator and a peace-keeper until the end; he doesn't and never has enjoyed violence or super over-the-line arguments.

— "N- no, I a- actually don't understand...! I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, shut up! No one's believing that crap!" The shock and the hurt from their words had visibly affected you — the disbelief and their rage hadn't done anything to calm your anxiety from not having understood what had been wrong.

Rantaro would intrude on the one-sided argument, a gentle yet nervous smile on his face as he tried to put some distance between you and the person who had gotten offended. "Hey now, I understand you're upset, but it'll be safer for all of us if you don't insult them. I'm sure this was just a big misunderstanding... let's sit down, yeah?"

◊ If you ever feel frustrated or upset about a past interaction with someone he had reacted in a way you hadn't expected, feel free to expect Rantaro to be there for you with his comfort. Whether it be assurances, hugs, or just a listening ear; he'll be there for you.

◊ He may not understand your struggles to an extreme extent, but he will try his best to empathize with you and to understand you; and if he doesn't? That's okay. Because he still has cuddles + listening to you rant as his plan B solution on getting your frustrations out.

Kokichi Ouma

◊ Kokichi... doesn't understand you at all.

◊ It's second nature to him to react abnormally or to over-exaggerate towards something that probably shouldn't have gained a reaction like that — but that doesn't necessarily mean that had been his true reaction from the start.

◊ They're lies, well, most of it.

◊ When Kokichi notices your confusion, or if you come to him about your frustrations; he won't believe you at first. It's a stupid thing to not trust someone about, yeah, but he lies all the time about this kind of thing — so not only would he feel terrible if you were telling the truth about your real struggle, he would-

◊ Oh, you're telling the truth?

◊ ... Oh.

◊ Well, of course, he feels horrible for his past faked reactions and lies. A part of him believes it to be his fault entirely, whilst the larger, louder part of him believes it to be someone else's fault.

◊ And he's a liar; so of course, he'll lie. To himself, at least.

◊ "Wha—!? Who's been confusing my beloved? Gimme names and I'll get 'em!"

◊ He's not much of a listener, nor a person who really just... talks about serious shit. So despite not wanting to talk directly about serious things, as well as not being the best at comforting you in a 'serious' manner, he has his own little way of dimming your frustrations with human beings.

◊ He won't show it, nor will he mention it, but he does try to be more transparent with you; as well as tries to be less confusing when talking and/or interacting with you.

◊ The reactions are dimmed down, and despite that, he still continues to be silly and still continues to joke around — just not in a way that'll frustrate or confuse you(ish). He's all about getting reactions out of you, especially frustration but, he wouldn't purposely augment your anxiety about this type of thing.

◊ ^^ If he was to do that, however, he would always tell you it was a lie afterwards. After all— despite enjoying the thought of you thinking of him all week—he doesn't want you stressing and/or overthinking about it for the rest of the week.

◊ Kokichi definitely feels guilty of your struggles, however, they may have not blossomed directly from him, he still feels horrible for triggering it? You? — look- what he's trying to say is, he feels awful, and he hadn't meant to make your struggle with understanding other human beings, worse.

◊ Though there are times he does find your confusion and gullibility to be sort of entertaining in a way, but he would constantly feel bad about finding pleasure in your frustration.

◊ Kind of bad.

— "Nishishi! I'm just saying, if someone took a fat shit on my lawn, I would thank them—"

"Wh- Seriously.. ? Why??"

◊ He finds it hilarious how you seem to take his words to heart, but of course, fun comes to an end as he says—

— "Nope! It's a lie!"

[douxparadies]

Butterfly effect

SUMMARY: Draco knows when his life was ruined, when the selection hat shouted Gryffindor over his head instead of Slytherin.

Pairing: slight Draco Malfoy x Oc��

Word Count: 13k.

A/N: This idea had been going around in my mind for quite some time and, only now, I managed to pass it on to the keyboard. I hope you like it, as I like to write it.

This idea quickly covers the original books, but perhaps if they like it, it will cover a little more of their adult life or some particular time. This story might actually be a long story in some future, but it is still in meditation.

                                                        ♦♦♦

 Draco Malfoy has a perfect life, is a pure blood and is at the top of the wizarding society. His life was always surrounded by perfection, even if his father was sometimes too strict, it was the best for him. The supremacy of blood, his father insisted every day, as if he had to engrave it in his memory. His mother, although she did not seem to support him in everything, not that she complained, was the perfect wife who obeyed her husband. So, he grows up tough, he can't play all the time and he has to be perfect like his family.

We are better.

She remembers her father commenting one day in Diagon Alley, pointing to the family of red hair. His father is the man he admires, so when he sees him despise others, he does the same.

But his life does not go as planned.

Draco can define the exact moment and the word that ruins his life from an early age. Where his whole perfect world falls apart in a single moment, where the nightmare seems to begin and where his life gives an unexpected change from what it should have been.

“Gryffindor” is the cry of the hat, after a long period of deliberation in his head.

The room is completely silent.

He is petrified.

Draco had been completely sure that he would go to Slytherin, his parents were in that house, that was his destiny. Almost as a joke he remembers his father wanting to send him to Durmstrang, but his mother changing her mind because she wanted to keep him close to home. How much he would have wished not to be in this house, how much he would have missed being at another school.

His parents were going to kill him.

He walks almost like a dead man, to that bright red table where nobody applauds and they look confused when he sits as far away as possible. He thinks of his suitcase full of green clothes, he thinks of his father who had practically demanded that he be in the snake house. He doesn't look up all night, almost clenching his fists in annoyance.

His usual arrogance, which he always imitates from his parents, doesn't show.

He doesn't have it at that moment.

He ignores that the first-year students follow their superiors, he runs following the teachers, almost skating when he sees the director talking to his godfather Snape. He had a frightened face when he was left in the lions' house. He practically begs, ignoring that his father would be ashamed, he begs to be moved from the house where he should be.

“I'm sorry, my boy, your home is now Gryffindor," Albus admits with some regret in his eyes.

Draco turns his face to Snape in a last attempt to help, but he just looks away and his hopes are dashed. There's still one left, his father would never let it end that way, he would find a way for it to go to the house it was meant to be.

But as Draco learns at a young age.

Things don't happen the way he wants them to.

Ignoring that he has to spend a week in the tower of Gryffindor, with a bunch of useless people who hate him almost as much as he hates them, ignoring above all Harry Potter (who is the last of his problems at the moment with the redheaded boy) and practically behind everything in his classes. He doesn't go out to eat if he can avoid people and just waits for the moment when his father fixes all this misunderstanding.

And it happens.

When Snape quotes him after his potions class in the principal's room, a genuine smile appears on his face as he enters and sees his father standing in front of Dumbledore. A boastful smile appears on his face when he feels that he will finally get out of the hell he has lived through in a week.

But at that moment, it was where all start.

The slap comes so quickly, that even the pain, seems not to appear and he feels that he is still in the middle of a nightmare. An ironic part inside him thinks that all this is a dream, that at any moment his mother would enter his room scolding him because they would be late. That he would be in Slytherin in a few hours.

“A complete disappointment, you can't even enter a house, what a shame to have a useless person sharing my blood” every word from his father, makes his smile fade from his face.

It makes him incredulous.

Your father sees him with hatred, as he always sees those of dirty blood, as he sees those inferior to them.

Draco turns to see everyone in the room, thinking that all this was a bad joke, that this is a nightmare, he almost begs someone to wake him up. But when he sees his mother in the distance of the room, lowering her gaze, when he sees the uncomfortable look of Snape or the pity look of the director.

Something inside him breaks.

I am a failure.

It is his thought, before turning around and running away, that he does not stop when he leaves the castle or when he enters the forbidden forest. In the middle of the forest he lets out his tears, as he kneels down embracing himself, feeling the perfect dream where he had lived this time.

It is destroyed.

                                                        ♦♦♦

Draco wonders why he still attends classes, his father had practically given up on him in an alarming way and his mother, following his father, does not send him letters or other things. It's as if he never had any parents and they never had a child, which sucked. He finds himself lost in the castle, not feeling part of the lion's house, but nowhere either. Snape sometimes seems to want to help him, but he couldn't care less. Even his housemates who hate him seem to leave him behind when they see him so depressed.

The world sucks.

It assumes when he starts eating monotonously when everyone else does, only the farthest thing from everyone else.

He is depressed.

As pathetic as that can be.

Sometimes his gaze falls on the house of the snakes, seeing them with envy and wishing he were there, everything would be easier. His parents wouldn't hate him or reject him as it happened, he would probably be the best of his generation, the popular type because of his blood. But no, he was at the bottom of the food chain, he was pathetic, with no friends, no family, no status.

He sighed, waving his boring fork at the food.

His life was ruined and he didn't know what else to do.

He always thought that the people who came to Gryffindor, were the people who were sad to see, he was indeed right. Now he was a pathetic person who was embarrassed to see that.

A person takes a seat in front of him, ignores him as best he can until he hears him clear his throat. He gives his worst death stare to Harry Potter who appears in front of him. They have been in school for a little over a month and honestly, it was not someone he wanted to see. His father always told him stories about the boy who lived, as if it was his duty to be friends with someone so popular. Who turned out to be a very simple and annoying boy.

Although he was sincere.

Now he didn't care about that.

“What do you want?” he grumbled before shoving a potato into his mouth with a bit of rudeness.

This one seemed a little uncomfortable in front of him.

“I'm sorry, Ron was being a bit of an asshole, telling me not to go near you because you're a pain in the ass, but you really look...bad” the last word comes out of his mouth with hesitation as he grimaces as he speaks.

A humorless laugh comes out of his mouth.

No one knows your misfortune.

He was a nobody.

The memory of his father's cold eyes, make him angry for no apparent reason.

“You should have listened to that blood traitor” he mumbles weakly.

Was he a blood traitor too?

His father treated him worse than one.

He notices a grimace on Harry's face.

“You're making Ron's point.”

“Look Potter, not that I'm interested, but what do you want from me?” he asks boringly this time.

Make fun?

Most of his Gryffindor ‘companions’ had clearly mocked him in the last month, about how someone of pure blood has to be with mere mortals. Like this how a Slytherin's mocked him as he passed by, saying that it was a shame that a pure-blooded person with his lineage ended up in that house. He clearly didn't fit in anywhere and was beginning to get tired of people looking for something of his own.

He didn't meet the standard they set for him.

To be a failure.

“Well, you look lonely, I thought we could be friends” says the boy with ease, who doesn't seem to be the same boy who almost rejected his friendship in the stair.

When everything was perfect and I wasn't in this horrible house.

He saw him confused, before getting up upset.

“I'm not looking for your fucking pity Potter and I'm not looking for your fucking friendship either” he grunt in anger before turning around and leaving the room.

He was angry.

He ended up in the library, feeling like a horrible book rat like the Ravenclaws, but it was the only place he felt he was calm. The only good thing was that he had taken advantage of this time to improve in all his classes, being alone and without friends, he would be a competent wizard, hoping that that way his father would not be disappointed in him.

He would be the best in his house.

Although Granger's bitch was making it difficult for him.

                                                       ♦♦♦

Childishly and still hopefully, he thought that the Christmas holidays were what he occupied, a few days away from all those Gryffindor (ignoring that he was one) and return to his home, where everything would be as it always should be. Of course, nothing goes as he hopes and the icy look on his father's face confirms that he still hates him. He tries uselessly to approach him every day, with the flame of hope, light but existing. But the only words I pronounced for him, was refusing to attend the party they used to do for Christmas.

That 24th of December, he spends in his room looking at nothing.

He felt that his family had abandoned him.

Going back to Hogwarts was stupidly better than being at home.

At least there he would just get away from everyone.

Following his plan to study as much as possible to be the best in his class and to prove to his father that he was worthy, even though he never had to work hard at anything in his life, it doesn't seem to be working. The letters he sends to his mother are mostly ignored, his father seems uninterested in acknowledging him and everything seems worse when Granger mercilessly sweeps away every damn exam.

Sometimes Potter takes a seat with him at meals, his friends seem to see him badly, but sometimes the Granger girl seems to follow him, to the grimaces of the Wesley boy, who never comes close.

“I hope you have a good day Draco” greets kindly Hermione, who seems encouraged that they are some kind of rivals in her house.

Both of them were the ones who contributed the most points.

He ignores her.

“You should come and see me play sometime,” says Harry sometimes, almost rubbing him the wrong way round, as he could get into the quidditch even though he's a year younger.

Of course.

It's Harry Potter.

But he who wants to move house, the laws cannot be flexible for him.

Ignore them both.

He ignores everyone in his first year, although when the time comes to return home, even though Harry Potter and company had to fight against, he really doesn't care what with, it ceases to be important when he is alone in a train carriage. When he arrives at the station, he can see how most children are welcomed by their family, but he feels the cold in his body when Dobby appears shyly in front of him.

His parents are busy, he says.

He laughs with irony.

His life sucks.

                                                           ♦♦♦

Being at home is more boring than being at Hogwarts, which is saying a lot. He eats at times when his father is away, his mother does not speak to him and he feels more alone than ever. He decides to go for a walk, with nothing to lose and almost wishing lightning would strike him to end that misery. He wants to get lost in the middle of the forest, never appear and stay there forever. His father had always tried to show him the pride of being a pure blood, but a part of him doesn't make sense.

His father loves prestige.

As he was no longer someone in his image, someone to be presumed, he was discarded.

He was useless.

He was not good enough for his father.

His only comment when he arrived home was that he was so useless, that a dirty blood it had beaten him on his grades.

He kicked a tree hard, not feeling the pain in his foot.

He hadn't asked for that, he hadn't asked to be in a family like that, he wanted his life before what was happening now.

“Kicking a tree is not very useful” a somewhat shrill voice speaks next to him.

He turns his face confused, not understanding where he was, he didn't know how long he had been walking and where he was, shit. The one who speaks is a girl, younger than him with red hair and brown eyes, who has clothes that do not look new and can identify as a member of the Weasley family.

As if that thought attracted them, two red hairs of identical face appear moments later.

“Look who Ginny has found.”

“Something quite curious in the forest.”

The Weasley twins speak in a somewhat scary coordination, he grimaces uncomfortably. The twins hadn't bothered him as much as others in the lion's house, but they were known as potential troublemakers.

The girl tilts her face in confusion.

He clicks his tongue.

His father would probably say something like "blood traitors" inciting him to walk away or make fun of them, but if he was sincere, his father treated him almost the same way at this point.

His stomach seems to ring at the wrong omentum and he blushes with shame.

What was missing.

The twins laugh in a not so discreet way. The girl gives them a reprimand before putting her hands on their hips and looking somewhat threatening.

He wants to die.

‘Never show weakness’

His father used to say.

“Are you hungry?” asked the girl with something like mercy.

He wants to treat her badly, he wants to run and tell everyone that he hates them, he wants the life he should have had, he doesn't want to be there.

He wants his life.

He wants to be Draco Malfoy, the powerful Slytherin he was meant to be.

But it doesn't happen, even in a world full of magic like this one, where nothing seems impossible, his wish is never fulfilled no matter how much he seems to ask for it.

“No” it is cursed that his voice comes out so hollow.

The girl's smile seems to be intact.

He feels a chill on his back.

                                                        ♦♦♦

No one says ‘No’ to Ginny Weasley, learns Draco sooner rather than later. He feels uncomfortable and in a parallel world when he enters the house of the "Weasley" family which the three children present as the burrow. He shouldn't be there, he thinks when the mother of the children sees him with big bulging eyes when they force him through the door, but a dog face to die from Ginny and commenting that he hasn't eaten anything, makes the matriarch even with doubts in her eyes, make him pass.

“This must be a joke," says Ron when he comes down to eat and sees him sitting at the table.

‘I wish’ Draco thinks ironically, thinking that this is the first time that they both agree on something.

Dinner (it's later than he thinks) is both a rumble and a twist, with the twins playing pranks on him, Ginny sitting next to him, excited and asking about Hogwarts, Ron giving him murderous looks, Percy looking confused and ignoring him for a book, even the father of the children watching him cautiously.

In spite of everything.

The dinner is quite good.

His father would probably kill him for eating something low class, along with blood traitors, but for the first time, he doesn't care. Because for the first time in a long time, the overwhelming silence of his home and the feeling of disappointing everyone is overshadowed by a meal that is too noisy.

“Why don't you stay over?”  Ginny asks innocently.

Everyone turns to see her as if she had gone mad, including him, it's not something anyone wants.

But as he learns and reaffirms.

Nobody can say no to the girl.

                                                         ♦♦♦

His parents ignore his letter where he says that he is sleeping at a friend's house, they do not ask, they do not look for him and that makes him feel worse. He could come back through the Flu network, but honestly, in this house where he does not feel comfortable, they seem to treat him better than his parents, which leaves a lot to be said. He begins to doubt Mrs. Weasley's mentality, which not only lets him stay without many explanations but also puts him in the same room as Ron.

Bad omen.

He practically vomits the way he has, so he is not surprised to sleep on the floor. What he is surprised about is how little he cares. He had never gone to sleep in someone else's house, always in his comfortable bed, surrounded by people he thought loved him. At least in that place people don't seem to ignore him completely.

Anyway, the floor is uncomfortable.

Draco does not know if Ron commented on something or started a conversation, he does not know if it was that he was too upset by his words or if he seemed resentful, what he do know is that he started the first blow. But in his defense, Ron also threw the next punch and they were both on the floor fighting like people without magic.

“For a brat in a golden cradle, you fight like a girl," he grunted before receiving a punch from him.

And it feels good.

To get out the anger and the rage he've accumulated for a year.

Fighting like a person without magic, his father would reproach him for falling so low, but he doesn't care when he throws himself on Ron and leaves him motionless on the ground. His cheek is hot and his eye is swollen, but he has never felt more alive than when Ron gave him a header to knock him down.

The sound seemed to alert the rest of the family, for I soon heard footsteps.

But he ignore them.

“You don't know how much I wish a family like yours” he grunts when Ron has punched him, he stops short, looking frozen by his sad look, even his body's pain from the struggle doesn't seem to matter “at least they don't ignore or despise me for being on Gryffindor” he adds before leaving his body flabby.

He does not want to keep fighting, he already took out the anger and his thoughts, that he never imagined having.

He?

Wanting to be part of a family of traitors, he had fallen so low, his father would probably despise him as much or more than he does now.

There is a chaos at the door that seems to have been opened long ago, before Mrs. Weasley starts to scold her son and he is pushed aside. He walks without much emotion behind the patriarch of the family, who sits him in the room and starts using magic to heal his wounds. He doesn't ask when he sees a scar on his arm, which definitely wasn't made by Ron, that it was his father's fault for throwing him a cup of hot tea that has cut him and nobody in his house wants to heal.

But this man that his father despises, treats him better than his father.

He assumes, a little late and a year after being ignored by his parents, that it is time to see people on their own and not by them.

“Life takes many unexpected turns Draco, but one thing I can tell you, is that it always gives us choices” says Arthur with a friendly smile.

He turns his uncomfortable face.

“This life has put you in Gryffindor, like a butterfly effect as the Muggles say, the little flutter of a butterfly can create a storm.”

“That sounds stupid.”

“You may be right, but what I mean is that a small change can bring about very big changes in life. I know you didn't plan to be on Gryffindor, but now you are, it's your destiny that's at stake and you can choose what decision you're going to make now”

He doesn't know if it's because he's the first adult or male figure who seems to recognize his existence or someone who seems to be able to help him. He ignores his father's mental voice, rebuking him for talking to him, he swallows all his bad thoughts, which seem to have his father's voice and not his own.

“I don't think I should have been at Gryffindor” he admits in an uncomfortable voice.

The only time he admitted that, both Snape and Dumbledore practically left him to his own devices.

A hand on his shoulder, it makes his eyes freeze in Arthur's kind.

“It's just a house, Draco, even though all my children are at Gryffindor, if my daughter Ginny went to another house, it doesn't matter, it's just a house, you're the one who decides your fate” he admits with a smile full of kindness, that he wants to make him cry.

But he holds back.

It couldn't be more pathetic.

Someone clears his throat and blushes, it seems that Mrs. Weasley has been listening for a while, because her distrustful look seems to have faded and she sees him with kindness, also some pity, but he ignores that because of her poor mental health.

“I think it's time to sleep, the twins accepted you in their room” she says with a pitiful look.

He nods before going to the twins' room, who smile politely, he thinks it's not so bad.

The next day he wakes up with purple hair.

He hates them, but laughs just as much when Ginny scolds them for being so childish, and for the first time in many days, he feels at peace.

                                                         ♦♦♦

When his father finds out where he's been, the slap comes so quickly that he can't help it, but even on the floor or that his mother seems upset for the first time, they don't compare when he's out of it, throws a cruciatus at him and something inside him, which is not the unimaginable pain, breaks. His mother screams in agitation and jumps to stop Lucius, who seems somewhat horrified at the sight of his wand, as if he doesn't believe that she did that to his son, but Draco couldn't care less. On the ground, he sees his father with a blank stare, while his mother tries to hug and comfort him.

But he doesn't.

That day he cuts off all relations with his father in a sentimental way.

His mother, on the other hand, seems to stop seeming important, because she doesn't say anything to her father and doesn't seem to do anything to stop him from ignoring him, calling him a blood traitor.

Returning to Hogwarts was a breath of fresh air.

                                                        ♦♦♦

Something changes that year, not only that Ginny was admitted to Gryffindor and greeted him kindly, but the twins who also seem to recognize him, pull some pranks on him, which he tries not to be a part of, but ends up in the middle. Harry and Hermione still sit down next to him to eat, but now Ron does too, he also gives him a look that looks like an apology and he shrugs his shoulders. It's not like they need to say anything out loud, what they said, or didn't say, was enough.

Harry seems happy when he starts answering his usual questions, which he didn't answer before.

Hermione seems excited when she arrives at the library and they study together.

Ron massacres him at chess and seems to help his self-esteem.

Ginny, who sometimes seems a little distant, smiles vaguely at him and he feels that something is wrong.

“Your sister acts strangely” he muses in a distracted way one day when Harry is at quidditch practice.

“What are you talking about?” Ron asks selflessly.

He doesn't know how to explain it, the memory of the kind and smiling girl who drags him all over the place, it's hard to connect with the girl who seems far away from every one, with big circles under her eyes and who acts paranoid.

“I'm not sure” he muses more to himself.

He stops when Hermione drags him to study and includes Ron, who complains loudly about it. At one point they both start to fight furiously, which he sighs for, preferring when Harry is around, so he can at least entertain himself with someone else.

                                                        ♦♦♦

“I'm not going to play quidditch, I only know the position of seeker and that one is occupied” he comments one day that he is reading his book, while Harry makes an angry gesture.

Last week they played quidditch in the playground for fun, the children were surprised that he wasn't bad, which he explains, it's a sport he plays as a child. Ron is not good and Hermione, well she is in a category of her own. Harry whines about having a capable partner in the middle of the team who is a friend of his or who is in the same year.

He ignores him and continues to study.

“You're a book eater like Hermione” says Harry, bored.

He throws a pillow at he mercilessly that hits he face.

“You could be good chasers”

 “I'm ashamed of you for being our seeker.”

The twins laugh at his comment, he laughs before dodging Harry's spell without much thought.

                                                          ♦♦♦

The year was not so bad, supposes Draco when he sees that this time he has many more people in his car back at the station. Ignoring that he and Harry ended up fighting a basilisk and that Ginny was possessed by a newspaper, it wasn't so bad. He has friends, he guesses, he never had any friends before and now he has them. Hermione seems delighted with her third year, Ron seems a little uncomfortable with the whole situation with his sister, who seems to be a little withdrawn at his side, he and Harry had rescued her for a very short time, but clearly she would have been traumatised.

When they get off the station, he sees everyone saying goodbye to him nicely.

“I think you'll be all right, if you survived that poem to Potter it can't be that bad” he jokes with Ginny, who for the first time since it happened.

Roll your eyes.

Draco is surprised to see her father at the train station, but this time he is not happy, that man is no longer someone he respects and his presence is intimidating. He swallows his saliva before it grabs him roughly by the hand and drags him out of the place.

This cannot be good.

And it is not.

His father slaps him saying that he is a fool, that he has interfered again with the return of the dark lord, while slapping him non-stop. This time his mother is not present before the next cruciatus he receives, or the three others that follow. Lucius now shouts that he is an idiot and that he is ruining his plans, before ordering Dobby to take him to his room, without remembering that his own stupidity set him free a few weeks ago with Harry.

He remembers it with pleasure.

A new Cruciatus is what he feels before he becomes unconscious.

                                                    *****

The next time he is conscious, he is in St. Mungo's hospital all alone, he sighs before going back to sleep, he raises one hand, the right one, which now has a horrible scar from his wrist to his elbow, his eyes are glazed over, the memory of the cruciatus is strong in his mind. Two days later he leaves the magic hospital, his mother picks him up, but he says nothing on the way home, which makes him feel sick, he won't say anything about the man who tortured him and cursed him until he lost consciousness.

He wants to laugh when they enter the house, which no longer feels like home.

“Andromeda, my sister, she could take care of you” she suddenly muses when they enter the place.

He looks at her with disbelief, before laughing bitterly.

“That man doesn't want me here anymore," he muses underneath, but her mother doesn't deny it.

It was true then.

You mum soon places a key in he hand, which makes him look confused, his eyes seem alarmed and he makes his lips in a thin line. He doesn't want to think about her eyes that look worried, when for two years she has practically left him at the mercy of mistreatment and her father.

“It's in my golden room at Gringotts, you can take anything you want, it's part of my Black heritage" she says quickly and he looks at her angrily.

“You can't do anything either," he muses with sarcasm and a murderous look.

His mother's eyes seem to apologize and he takes the key with hatred.

He hates the key.

But he is not an idiot either.

He runs to his room, taking some things he knows he will need, before going to the Flu net without seeing his mother and shouts the only place he can think of.

                                                       ♦♦♦

Mrs. Weasley seems to be incredulous when shyly asking for accommodation in her home, but it is quickly Arthur who accepts it with a friendly smile. He explains that he will pay for his maintenance, but they practically ignore him before going to Ron to tell him that he will be his new roommate. He doesn't seem happy, but doesn't ask much when he sees his gaunt face or the scar on his hand. "I had to get out of there" is all he says and this one doesn't press him, Ginny is the one who quickly makes him feel at home.

Her eyes, which do not look like those of a child, smile warmly when she sees her scar.

He understands her look.

It is as if she can tell him something.

The twins also soon seem to be playing their tricks on him and Percy seems pleased with his notes. But it's not until one night, when Mrs. Weasley scolds him for not being warm and gives him a gray knit jumper with a "D" on it, that he feels like he's going to cry. The twins joke that she will probably give him another one at Christmas, but he ignores it.

Harry seems surprised when he shows up days later and he shrugs his shoulders.

“We have a disgusting family", says his friend with a laugh and he can't help but laugh with understanding.

They both have that in common.

Actually, they have a lot in common.

They high-five when it's their turn to play quidditch with the twins and still win.

                                                         ♦♦♦

Draco looks on with pity on the first day of school when Harry seems destined to die, it's as if every year he's in the middle of bad and very bad luck. Although in his defence, it was as if all the bad things happened to him. For his part, ignoring the fact that he had practically abandoned his home, everything seemed to get better somehow. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were not in the habit of sending him things, but at Christmas they had given him a jumper and food. His mother had sent him a letter, which seemed to be hidden from his father, so he ignored it as much as possible.

“But she just appeared out of nowhere” Ron grunted one morning about Hermione that he ignored.

Lately Ron and Hermione had been arguing more.

It was annoying.

“They like each other," whispered Ginny to her funny side, which he agreed with her.

Although the friendship was mainly between Harry, Ron and Hermione, after they adopted him, somehow Ginny started to spend more time with them (a way of compensating for last year), also the twins and that boy called Neville who at first seemed to be afraid of him, but after seeing him and doing nothing to him, he spent time with him.

Not that Gryffindor had changed, of course, they didn't bother him like in his first year (for having friends he supposed) but everything seemed a little better.

Calmer.

He felt at peace.

This was his path, not one he would have chosen willingly, but it was the one he had and he would work at it.

"Like your obsession with Potter" taunts back to Ginny, who mercilessly tries to cast a spell on him and he knows it is better to run away.

When he passes through the corridor, the Slytherins look at him and make fun of him, he ignores them, but sometimes he thinks about what would have happened if he had been in that house.

Would things be different?

He had no idea.

                                                        ♦♦♦

Luna was a strange girl, but she was a friend of Ginny's. Probably, he thought ironically and sarcastically, his father would not approve of the strange girl's friendship, one more reason to let her study with both of them in the middle of the library. He seemed to space himself out a bit and ask her clearly indiscreet questions but tried to ignore him and not be so arrogant. Sometimes his natural side, the arrogance and pride that he had for so many years, would come out unintentionally, Harry would reprimand him, Hermione kindly pointed him out and with Ron they would hit each other sometimes, but it was okay, they taught him.

But now there was Ginny.

And Ginny was scary.

He wouldn't mess with her if he could help it, a wise lesson he and the twins used as their mantra.

“I can sit with you; you seem smart and I need help” spoke a voice beside him.

I turn his face with boredom.

A girl with short dark brown hair and light brown eyes was standing next to him with a somewhat silly smile. He recognized her as a Hufflepuff student who sometimes stood next to the girl Hannah, who sometimes stood by Neville and he unknowingly ignored her.

What was her name?

"I am Camile” she introduced herself when she sat down without waiting for a statement from him.

Just like the destructive Ginny.

Luna's madness.

This girl did not seem normal, too smiling and expert in spells, she seemed to know nothing about Runes and almost begged him to help her. He wants to refuse, but Ginny's gaze makes him sigh and accept her in the impromptu Wednesday study group.

She's about her age, but it seems a miracle that she made it this far.

“I'm good at the duels club” she says this one in a funny way before walking away at the end of the study.

He ignores her, not that he cares.

                                                       ♦♦♦

“How come we always end up on the brink of death," says Draco boringly in the middle of the infirmary.

After Harry's godfather, who turns out not to be bad and who is somehow (very distantly) related to him, ran away with a hippocriph that tried to attack him at the beginning of the year (but which he didn't do by chance). It also turns out that Professor Lupin was a werewolf and that Snape almost died trying to rescue them. Although he had some cuts on his hands, he ignores everything that Harry and Hermione did with the time-turns.

He just wants to sleep.

“In my defence I'm not looking for this” grunted Harry with his arms crossed somewhat annoyingly.

Out of the corner of his eye they both watch Ron and Hermione continue to argue.

They look at each other out of the corner of their eye before sighing.

“I think I'll bet they'll notice until the last year” he mumbles under Harry about the bet between the Weasley family and them both.

He shrugs his shoulders.

“I'm telling you Potter, Ron's going to propose, he's stupid, but it's my money on the line," he says with a slight yawn.

He sees how Hermione seems to be about to kill him, which makes him hesitate a little.

Harry laughs as he bets on Hermione.

He may be on a stretcher, two broken ribs, wounds all over his body, but he can't help but feel happy surrounded by friends.

                                                        ♦♦♦

Draco had a dream, one where he stayed at Slytherin's house, where he had everything he ever wanted in his first year. Also in the middle of the dream, he treated Harry and the rest of his friends badly, humiliated them, tried many bad things against them and at night in his bed, he didn't seem to feel good about it. Then he woke up, seeing all the red around him and realized that everything that happened, had been a silly dream, probably of his childish desires.

He did not like that dream.

Although he had the life he once wanted, he did not feel happy.

“I hate my life” snarled Harry across the dining room the next day.

Sigh.

Although they were all friends, Harry and Ron were the best of friends, but when the former was selected for the Triwizard Tournament which now had four participants, Ron seemed to walk away angry from his friend. He and Hermione were juggling each other to try and bring them together as friends again.

But it was difficult.

“You're unlucky and, I'll say this, it leaves a lot to be desired” he mumbles with amusement reading a book about potions.

Last year it didn't go so well and Snape, who was his godfather, seemed about to send him off for yet another failure.

With that kind of godfather.

“I didn't put my name on it.”

“I believe you.”

“Why doesn't Ron do it?”

Clearly the lack of his best friend affected him, he grimaced at the idea of admitting that Ron was clearly jealous. He was always jealous even of himself, until he explained about his family and they hit it off, Ron saw him as an equal, but with Harry.

They occupied something that would make them friends again.

If only Ron knew what he had and when he and Harry were jealous.

Things would be different.

“Give him time” he mumbles boringly.

Harry keeps ranting for several minutes, exchanging boring looks with Neville who shrugs his shoulders, there's not much to do.

                                                     ♦♦♦

“Hey blonde head” says one afternoon Camile appearing from nowhere.

He sighs bored and a little annoyed.

He is still studying with Ginny and Luna, many times Hermione joins them, but Camile was occasional, sometimes she spent weeks in a row with them and other times she almost didn't show up at all. The laughing girl was part of the dueling club and studied with Professor Mcgonagall because she wanted to be an animagus.

He loved it when she didn't show up.

She was annoying.

“What?” she says with more annoyance than she feels.

But the girl keeps smiling.

“I need help with a class," he says, still smiling and with both hands together as if she were asking for help.

He sees her with annoyance.

This brat.

“Look how low Draco has fallen, he's not only with the dirty blood and the traitor, now he surrounds himself with mestizos “ says Pansy Parkinson passing by with a group of Slytherin.

He looks at her with annoyance, but this disappears when, out of nowhere, Camile passes by and punches Pansy who leaves her on the floor crying. She grimaces at the sight of her bloody, swollen nose, Camile's wand moves faster and the other two girls are turned into little Chihuahuas with alarming ease.

I didn't know she was so good.

He sees her impressed, this one seems bored.

“You know not all Hufflepuffs are so patient” she admits with a shrug.

He goes to say something, but a teacher comes over to scold Camile, which seems not to be the first time he has done something like that.

They end up at the address.

He wasn't to blame, but he's still an eyewitness.

                                                       ♦♦♦

He can't help but be curious, Snape is kind and explains what he knows. Camile Marsell is a half Spanish and half French witch. It seems that her mother was from a fairly powerful lineage in the French country from one of the highest pure-blooded families, but she fell in love with a Muggle. She gave up everything she had to follow a Spanish man (who loved music) and Camile was born out of that relationship. The laughing girl had great potential for magic, but seemed a little confused like Harry at first.

half Blood.

The word collides in her mind.

Something that her father abhorred, over his pure-blooded supremacy.

Wizarding like Harry or Camile were not entirely unpleasant, Hermione was certainly a genius at magic.

There was nothing wrong with them.

Her father was wrong.

“You don't have to defend me," he snarls at Camile when Dumbledore gives him a scolding.

She smiles, ignoring his words.

“Friends help each other," she says, smiling.

He wants to ask her how long they've been friends, but he's tired and prefers to go to bed early.

                                                        ♦♦♦

He applauds Harry when he manages to survive a fight with the dragon, which finally manages to calm the friendship between Harry and Ron, to the relief of him and Hermione. But soon the idea of a ball of the chosen ones, comes to stay in his group of friends and the whole school actually. He is about to say that he does not intend to go, but his friends end up dragging him along before he can refuse. He watches with amusement as Hermione accepts that someone has invited her and Ron seems incredulous as if he is indignant. He doesn't say anything about seeing Victor, a professional player, invite Hermione the other day.

Laughs when Ginny admits defeat in accepting Neville's invitation, almost dying of not being able to help Harry.

Harry who is rejected by Cho.

His friends are involved in many romantic dramas.

“Who will you go with?” asks Ron one day with suspicion in the middle of the great hall.

A memory of the last week comes to his mind, not that he thought about looking for a partner, but since he is going to the ball, he thinks that going alone would be pathetic, for a moment he thinks about inviting Luna, but he regrets it immediately. She may be Ginny's best friend, but she doesn't think she can be with her, without the intervention of the redhead for a long time. Hermione is clearly not available, so he thinks of the only girl besides them with whom he has contact.

One of those afternoons he walks to the library, where he sees Camile concentrating, or rather, not concentrating on the study but on making magical circles in the air.

He wants to run, but reluctantly walks to her.

“Do you want to go to the ball with me?” she asks when he takes a seat next to her.

He does not know if he has read her mind or she is really looking for a pair.

He shrugs her shoulders.

She smiles as always.

He doesn't tell Ron what really happened.

“I'm going with Camile, she's a Hufflepuff we studied with” he admits without telling the truth.

Draco has a pride to bear.

He sees Ron's completely betrayed face; Harry seems to laugh vaguely at the misfortune.

                                                        ♦♦♦

The ball is not as bad as he thinks, Ron and Harry seem completely unhappy at some point, but Hermione really looks like fun, he has run into Ginny who greets him cheerfully several times, giving him funny looks every time Camile forces him to dance. Camile is strange, in a way he doesn't understand, she always seems to smile and has a lot of energy. Her father would be horrified that he considers her a friend and inwardly rejoices and hopes that he will ever find out, only to see her face horrified.

The memories of the cruciatus make him shiver, making Camile curious.

“You look like a boy with secrets” she says amusingly when they finish a dance and have a drink.

He ignores her by shrugging his shoulders.

Out of the corner of her eye, he sees Ron lose his dance partner for giving Hermione a dirty look, Draco feels the family's bet in her pocket.

“I like boys with secrets," adds Camile, making him spit out a little of his drink and look incredulous.

She lets out a loud laugh before forcing him to dance to a song, which he doesn't know like the others, making him look, probably, ridiculous.

But she smiles so big that she forces herself to be there.

When the dance is over, Ginny catches him from behind before whispering to him to accompany Camile to her door. He thinks it's ridiculous, but as long as the girl doesn't see him with big eyes, he accepts. Camile doesn't seem to mind when they walk together in comfortable silence.

She is finally tired of talking, he thinks briefly funny.

Everything in his mind seems to die when a pressure on his lips makes him freeze, it lasts a few seconds, but when he separates, he sees Camile as a fish out of water. He has never kissed a girl, he is ashamed to admit it, especially because in his first kiss, he was not initiated by him. Male pride on the floor. He sees the spark of fun in the girl's eyes.

Who has a beautiful green dress, his long hair in a hairstyle that only a girl could do and light makeup.

She is pretty.

Admits reluctantly, not bad for a first kiss.

He takes her behind the head and now it is him who kisses her, to recover a little of his pride, he would never admit in a million years that it is because he has liked the first one.

They kiss a little more.

When Draco lies down on her bed, a satisfied smile fills her face.

                                                      ♦♦♦

Everything seems to be in chaos when Credic dies, he feels fear and terror for what it means. Even when no one seems to want to believe Harry, he believes him, because his father for years talked about the awakening of the dark lord and now, they are living it. He is afraid, he is horrified and in his fifth year, he understands that nothing good can come of this. The holiday in the burrow seems like a distant dream, which he now wishes to recover. Harry's visions clearly do not help at all and everything seems to be a whirlpool of desolation.

“So much for a quiet year” confesses Ginny one afternoon that they are together in the corridors.

Above all, with Dolores Umbridge hovering around.

Annoying and toad-faced.

Touching his hand briefly with bandages, having supported Harry was not such a good idea when they both shared the punishment, but he was her friend.

“Well at least someone is doing well with the plan to outdo Harry Potter”- he comments amusingly before pushing her playfully.

This one sees him incredulous, before wanting to put a spell on him.

“You haven't told me more about Camile after I saw them kissing” says Ginny in a funny way.

She had caught them that Yule ball, but had the decency not to say it out loud and only to harass him when he was alone.

Kind, he assumed.

Or blackmailing.

“We didn't talk much” he admitted something uncomfortable.

They have greeted each other in the corridors, studied with everyone, but nothing has happened between them. It's as if the ball was just a fleeting dream one night and it bothers him to admit that it irritates him more than he wants to admit.

“Who would say, both suffering from unrequited love.”

“At least I kissed her.”

Ginny's bat mucus appears so quickly and painfully, that he can only shake his hands feeling that he is drowning.

But the satisfaction remains within he of winning a verbal fight.

                                                      ♦♦♦

Draco looks uncomfortably, as clearly the students of the house Slytherin have a clear preferential treatment for the toad face. He sees them as annoying when they keep making fun of him, but more than annoying, inside he feels uncomfortable. He has dreams where he sees himself in the house of the snakes and that makes him sleep uneasy, he does not like what he sees, that Draco that bothers others (as they do with his person) and that intimidates his current friends. He is afraid to say that to them, since he is a person that he does not like.

It is like hating a part of himself.

Because he knows, if he had stayed at Slytherin's house, he would have done it.

He was so fooled by the man who is his father, so full of resentment towards those who are not pure blood.

Most of the wizarding society is not pure blood.

Idiot.

“Draco?” calls Harry when they go to their private of forbidden classes on defence against the dark arts.

All because of his current teacher.

He sucked.

“I was thinking” he muses quietly, making Harry raise an eyebrow to see him confused, but he doesn't dare say his thoughts, maybe he shouldn't have been a Gryffindor as he was a coward “don't look at me like that, at least my date didn't cry all afternoon” he adds in a mocking tone.

Harry groans clearly ashamed and feels a little satisfaction at seeing him suffer for normal things.

Draco stops uncomfortably when in the middle of the room when he sees how Camile seems to have convinced Hannah to join "Dumbledore's army", all thanks to Ginny, he doesn't know whether to kill his pseudo little sister or thank her.

Harry sees him confused, Draco is grateful that he is an idiot in those matters, he had enough tragedy with Hermione and Ginny, besides Neville.

“Potter” starts Camile by his side humming funny and giving him a curious look, which he ignores as best he can.

“Camile, I'm glad you and Hannah could come, the more people the better” Harry spoke shyly, but glad to see her.

He whimpered when he admitted that, although they were not friends, Camile used to have casual conversations with the boy, especially about Quidditch.

The girl smiled too much, for his taste.

“There are cute boys to see around here, of course I'd come," she says honestly and without any apparent shame.

Harry is shocked, she turns to him and gives him a flirty wink before leaving. It's thanks to that that Harry turns to see he with an incredulous mouth, he prefers to leave quickly next to someone else, trying not to let the red of his cheeks be so noticeable.

                                                       ♦♦♦

He looks incredulously at Hermione and Ginny sitting in front of him, both ranting about men, almost ignoring him at the time. He sighs thinking about how he agreed to study with them, turns his face to the window, almost wishing he could be out with Harry and Ron, but he had made a decision, he regretted it, clearly, but he is not one to go back on his word. In his suitcase in his room, a letter from his mother asking him to stay away from any trouble indicated that, soon, there would be trouble.

Not just the attempt on Arthur's life.

He felt uncomfortable, like a bad feeling.

A blow to the forehead made him his before he saw Ginny badly who let out a funny laugh.

“In the Malfoy clouds?” her asked amusingly, moving his eyebrows amusingly.

“Mind your own business Weasley," he grunts back equally amused.

Hermione rolls her eyes, exchanges a funny look with Ginny, both knowing the girl's problem with Ron.

He admits, only to himself and probably to Ginny (who in some way he doesn't understand is his best friend) that he might, in some younger way, have had feelings for Hermione. Not only were they competing all the time, the girl was growing up and she was cute, of course adding that would have bothered his father, made everything very attractive. But when he became friends with them, it only took a second to see the interaction between Ron and Hermione to know that he didn't want to get into anything romantic between them.

The image of a long-haired, funny-smiling Hufflepuff girl momentarily surrounded his head.

“Hermione what you occupy is giving my brother a kiss (which is disgusting) and touching his buttock to make you happy” says Ginny shamelessly.

It takes no more than that comment for Draco to grab her by the neck and start running around the common room, with a red Hermione of shame as well as anger.

They end up on the floor laughing and their task forgotten.

Amidst the laughter, Draco cannot help but think that both of them and the rest of his friends they were a family that occupied.

                                                      ♦♦♦

Draco loves his friends, although he must admit that being friends with Harry Potter has put him on the brink of death, many more times than he likes to admit. The idea of going to the magic ministry is stupid, he tries to convince him before doing such a stupid thing, but, although he doesn't succeed, he ends up accompanying them. It is when everything seems to be in chaos, when they find out that Sirus is alive, that the order is safe (secret that they trust him for being a kind of honorary Weasley) and the crazy Bellatrix who is somehow distant relative, pursues them both to Sirus and to him to kill them.

All the people with whom he shares blood are crazy, they decide in the end.

Sirus at first had this uncertainty about himself too, until he told he that he was in Gryffindor and seemed happy that he was not the only black sheep in the Black family.

He was not a Black.

Although his mother was.

Everything was confusing.

Although he admitted to being a fairly competent duelist, Bellatrix was crazy (there was nothing positive to say in that situation) and as little as he avoided that dark spell. Whimpered when her hand began to bleed, proving that it was not by chance.

“Lucius no doubt raised a useless” he snarled that woman with a dismissive tone.

He saw her rolling her eyes.

Unbelieving buffoon.

“You're crazy, demented and no doubt I'd rather spend my life with blood traitors than a lady who's a whore behind Voldemort” he shouted the first offensive words he came up with.

The Cruciatus was not long in coming.

How many times can a person endure so much pain?

From his blood family, for worse.

Whimpering when he fell backwards, before Sirus started a battle against her, but they were walking too close to the veil. Sirus, like Harry, had a strange suicidal tendency, he decided when even trembling, he should throw himself with Sirus to avoid a curse from Bellatrix so that he wouldn't fall in the middle of the veil.

He feels every bone in his body ache.

But he's alive, she surmises with irony.

“That bitch is crazy” murmurs before Sirus brings him by the neck so that both of them manage to dodge another attack.

“Boy!” calls Sirus over him, but his vision begins to blur, before he bites his lips and stands up shaking.

They must fight.

Stupid Potter thinks with irony, before following Sirus and Bellatrix's duel with barely open eyes, with a nimble spell he makes Bellatrix fall backwards, before feeling an attack from his back. Bites her teeth as she feels pain all over her body again.

This time he is knocked unconscious.

                                                      ♦♦♦

When he opens his eyes again, a room he detects from St. Mungo’s receives him, and he is measured to get into his bed, feeling pain all over his body. He looks at his bandaged hands and feels pain in his back, but he is alive. Memories of the battle in the ministry haunt his mind and he cannot help but feel terrified. A war, they had not been many and he hardly thinks if they survive, but that only seemed a prelude, a prelude to imminent war. A sound distracts him and he is paralyzed when the curtain that separates his bed is opened and Molly Weasley appears on the other side, this incredulous whimpering wakes him up and wraps him in a hug.

He can't help but wonder when his real mother hugged him for the last time.

He also can't believe how stupid Ron is, to be jealous of Harry or him, when he has a family like this one.

“I'm glad you're awake, honey," she says with sincerity and tears in her eyes.

He doesn't move, not believing that anyone else is crying for him.

He smiles slightly, before everything turns to chaos in his room.

Ignoring the visit of all the Weasleys, including Sirus (he doesn't quite understand what has happened to set him free), Harry and Hermione, Ginny is the one who tells him the story. He had received several unforgivable curses, a cruciatus and another that has left a scar on her back, which like her hand, cannot be healed. He was unconscious for two weeks.

Ginny seems worried about himself, just as her mother cries when she sees him, Hermione hugs him in a protective way and cannot help feeling at home.

“YOU ARE ALIVE!” both twins shout with emotion, before shaking their hair.

He feels pain all over his body.

His head does not stop hammering.

He wants to sleep.

But he wouldn't change for anyone in the world.

                                                            ♦♦♦

Snape never treats him badly, even though since he left his father they have hardly had any cordial contact, but that does not mean that he is any less concerned when he obtains the role of professor of defence against the dark arts in his sixth year. Harry, who has always hated his godfather, doesn't seem too thrilled about the affair either, because although Sirus is declared innocent, he doesn't have the power to uphold it or something stupid said Dumbledore. He tries to remind him that he will soon come of age, but Harry can be stubborn and prefers to ignore him.

The fact that Ginny spends all her time with her boyfriend also seems to put him in a bad mood.

Her four best friends are in love, but not together.

Bad luck.

He and Neville seem to jump between the two of them, trying to keep the issues from getting too sensitive.

“Dean is a pain in the ass, he's cute, but I can do things on my own” complains Ginny in the common room with an annoyed grimace.

He ignores her for reading his book.

Dean's subject is a sensitive one for both of them, not only does the boy seem to hate him since his first year, they also share the same room and he seems to hate him because Ginny declared that he is her best friend. Although he repeats a thousand times that he has no romantic feelings for the girl, her boyfriend always seems to see him out of the corner of his eye as a potential enemy.

Pathetic.

“You're only with him because you're with someone," he says before turning the page in the book on oclumacy.

Even though Snape doesn't treat him like he used to, he has given him that book in his fourth year, so he tries to study it. Sometimes after school in his fifth year, he would instruct him, he almost had the trick of doing it without difficulty.

He worried about why her godfather gave her that.

“Dean is cute and kisses well, but I like my space, yesterday I reproach myself because I spend a lot of time with you” she grumpy is carelessly settling in his lap.

He rolled his eyes.

“Because of things like this he is upset," he says without taking his eyes off the book or making her feel uncomfortable.

He's used to it, as a child Ginny was very loving and he was clearly a carrion for his family. Like a sister she never had, Ginny began to follow him when her brothers ignored her, laughing and telling her things, which he did not ignore for a fact.

She was the first one to speak to him.

The one who took him to the Weasley house.

She was family.

He owed her a lot.

Besides, her lively and cheerful personality, helped him when he was not feeling well. Because he had the fake family of now, sometimes he remembered that his parents had given up on him, that they were on the side of the dark lord and the scars on his body were witness to the fact that both had taken different paths.

“It's stupid, Harry and Ron found me last night making out with Dean and took on the role of big brother, they should be like you.”

“You know I'd protect your dignity too, but you'd throw a bat booger at me and not take my help.”

“Exactly, thank you for noticing.”

He sees her thinking it was no joke and she with her head in her lap puts on an innocent smile, making both of them laugh slightly. Distracted he puts a hand on Ginny's head and starts to massage her hair, she makes a sound that reminds him of a cat and thinks she is a brat.

“I feel offended that that book is more important than your best friend.”

“This book would beat you at anything.”

A whimper comes out of his mouth when it punches him in the face, with force the lance of his lap and this wheel on the ground. Both of them burst out laughing when she throws herself at him, in his lap, and seems to want to hang him, but he hardly resists.

A sound of annoyance distracts them, causing them to turn to their right where Ron and Harry are standing.

Draco reacts a second later, with Ginny on his legs too close to his body and face.

His forehead is shaded in blue.

“Now you're going out with Draco too," says Ron in an accusatory tone.

Bad idea.

Faster than a flash, Ginny casts a spell on him that throws him on his back. She seems to want to go and kill him, but not in play as with him, so he holds her by the waist preventing her from committing a murder.

“Draco is my best friend asshole, now I'll kill you” she says this in a sadistic tone.

He decides he prefers to be on the girl's good side, so he lets her go and it's Hermione who finally manages to stop her from committing murder. The worst thing decides Draco, is the look of complete hatred of Harry, who does not know when or how, it seems that finally he has feelings for Ginny.

He snorts underneath when Hermione yells at Ron that he is a fool and drags him into the library.

Now Ron sees him angry too.

He whines.

He doesn't do anything.

                                                         ♦♦♦

He decides for his own mental (and physical) sake to stay away from his friends, until they solve their love problems with each other, he doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire. Therefore, in his free time, he prefers to be out reading some book, sometimes thinking that he could have stayed in Ravenclaw, although he still doesn't manage to beat Hermione in notes. New Year's resolution decides. It is an afternoon in the middle of a bench, when a shadow appears in front of him. He tries not to look surprised when he sees Camile in front of him with her usual friendly smile.

He's ignoring him as usual; she takes a seat next to him and starts to move his feet.

He gets tense.

He forgets that not only his friends have these romantic problems. The girl next to him kisses him in his fourth year at the yule ball, but after that she ignores him, sometimes she talks to him as if nothing happened and he is clearly confused.

Not only are Harry and Ron bad with girls.

He is too.

Shit.

He would never admit it out loud.

“You look at me with bulging eyes, it's funny” she says she's pointing at him shamelessly; she blushes and this one laughs “I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't want to” she adds with a flirty wink.

That bothers him too, those shameless flirtations, make him feel uncomfortable.

He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, noticing that her long hair is now a little more controlled and longer than before, that her face is starting to stop looking like a girl's and her body is becoming very beautiful. He hates the hormones inside him and that this girl is by his side.

Just like Ginny and Hermione this one seems to be at ease next to her.

But it is not the same.

Is different and he doesn't understand how.

“Of course,” he says in a boring way trying to control himself, this one sees him as a bit annoying.

“You know for a guy, you're not very good with girls," she says, as if reading her thoughts.

Draco blushes before seeing her with disbelief, curiously this seems to be serious as she almost never shows it because she is smiling.

“That's rude” grunts before returning to her book.

This snort.

“Rude is kissing a girl and never bringing it up” she points out with clear annoyance.

His blushing increases and he sees her angry, as she seems to take it easy and he is a sea of nerves at this moment.

“You kissed me first.”

“And then you.”

“You acted as if nothing had happened.”

“I'm a Draco girl, we like to see an interest in a boy and not do all the work.”

Both are upset and look angry, he does not understand what she wants and she seems to want to claim something from him. The girls are annoying, he decides in the middle of something that he does not understand, only it seems that she expected him to look for it and it is ridiculous because he.

Because he...

He looks away, ready to get up.

“You are a nuisance” mumble without knowing what else to say.

He had enough family problems to add this girl to his life, his friends are now in danger and he doesn't know how long before everything goes to shit. It takes studying, it takes being a better wizard to help them when the time comes.

He should go.

But when he sees the girl sideways, still sitting, almost looking downcast and with sore eyes, he curses himself internally.

Only once.

He says to himself when he sits down again. Camile opens her eyes in disbelief when now it's him who initiates the kiss, because just like Ginny's eyes, but in another way, he doesn't understand, and doesn't care, he can't see his sad eyes.

He is not a scum.

He is not her father.

They separate and he is embarrassed but internally happy to feel his pride back for initiating the kiss. She smiles in a way he has never seen before, softer and more sincere, which also reaches his brown eyes, which he now notices have flashes of other colours.

It is beautiful.

“You're annoying too," says this one with a slightly broken but funny voice.

Then, ignoring his previous thought, he kisses her again.

Shit.

                                                          ♦♦♦

“Draco has a girlfriend and won't die a virgin” celebrates Ginny in the common room, making him snarl in annoyance and Hermione laughing by his side.

Neville has a funny smile at his side, which he wants to smash with one punch.

He was still a virgin.

But he wasn't going to make that clear out loud.

Ginny continues to hug him excited, saying that Camile was a sun for putting up with him, that he should not ruin him. Hermione commented on everything he had to do to be a good boyfriend, Neville seemed just as tortured as he was.

“At least now Harry and Ron will no longer see me as competition” he muses, making Neville nod in agreement.

Hermione and Ginny look confused.

He snorts.

Who's the blind man now?

Who would have thought that, of the group of friends, he is the first to get a steady girlfriend.

��                                                       ♦♦♦

Many things are happening before his eyes, war seems closer and closer and Dumbledore's death is the trigger. When the great wizard dies, he feels that, within him, the world is lost, when a powerful wizard could not help it, they definitely could not do anything. At the funeral he is sitting there with a lost look in his eyes, he wants to think that he has nothing to do with this place, but he knows what happens to his father and mother, the bad guys of history and how this war was getting closer and closer to breaking out.

He sees the sky in confusion.

Was this his destiny?

When the hat chose him at Gryffindor.

What was he thinking?

“Everything will change," muses Neville sitting next to him and he nods his head.

He sees his hand for a few seconds, feeling a little pain in the scar on it as in his back. He grinds his teeth knowing that somehow that hat decided his fate.

'A butterfly effects.'

Arthur called once.

On the way to where Harry was with Ron and Hermione, the three of them had made a choice and given him the opportunity to choose. When he arrived at them, his three friends saw him with big eyes with questions, they had given him a choice because they knew the situation of his biological family,

“I'm in” admits in a serious voice.

Hermione nods.

Ron sighs.

Harry looks at him with gratitude.

They are friends.

While they go off, the rest go to look after Hogwarts. He looks sideways at where Ginny is next to Neville, Luna, Hannah and Camile. Her best friend smiled slightly, knowing that this would also be a battleground next year.

Camile gives him a slight smile.

A part of him, decided, was an idiot for not talking to her before and taking advantage of the time a little more. By her side, he had been very warm and different, a different good in his life that he thought he wouldn't have. But now is not the time to back out.

                                                         ♦♦♦

The search took a long time, both good and bad experiences passed. Since Ron left them, he felt lost at the thought of his parents behind all this, struggles and losses. When they arrive at the castle after a whole year away in the middle of death (which he jokes about all the time with Harry telling him that he is unlucky) and ready to start a war, he feels confused. In the middle of the fight where he attacks and protects, he wonders what would have happened if his life had been different, as in his dreams.

Maybe he would be on the other side of the battle and that destroys him.

Why the other side is wrong.

Voldemort is wrong.

That is why when the Selector Hat appears, almost at the same time as Voldemort's snake, when Harry's body appears. For the first time he understands why he is in Gryffindor, when the sword of his creator is held in his hand to kill the snake.

Ignoring his number of wounds.

Ignoring that his parents behind Voldemort see him in disbelief.

He makes his choice at that moment, it is not like before that he only accepts the fate that others chose for him, no, he decides his path and the sword shines in his hands. Voldemort seems angry with himself, but he couldn't care less.

He is not afraid of him.

Not after all he's been through.

And then Harry seems to come back from the dead.

Before he knows it the battle is over, but he doesn't feel well, he is tired, a heart-rending cry from someone, is also the sign of a series of dead to be picked up.

                                                       ♦♦♦

That night he walks to his old bedroom, which is somewhat destroyed but stable. He throws himself on his bed, followed by Ron and Harry on theirs. Hermione ignores that it's not the girls' bed and remembers one that must have been Neville's, the four of them are exhausted, the battle has been over for a few hours, but there are many dead, much pain and much blood. He feels too tired to talk or say anything, he just wants to sleep all night, but he feels that he will have nightmares.

“I'm exhausted” says Hermione with her arms stretched out.

The thought of her bewitching her parents and sending them to Australia runs through her mind, they will have to go and get them soon, they had decided in the middle of their journey in moments of stress.

Where they were thinking about the end of the war.

Where they were optimistic.

“I'm hungry” mumbles Ron against the pillow.

Everyone laughs slightly.

“By the way, Potter, technically Ron made Hermione kiss him, so you owe me money," he says, sitting on his bed.

Harry laughs when Ron and Hermione turn red.

"Hermione kissed him so you owe me money” counter this scathing, but funny-looking one.

Maybe.

It has a point.

“You made me lose money Weasley, you owe me” he grunts at he with feigned annoyance and this one throws a pillow at he face.

The four of them laugh like kids and he throws himself back on the bed with a peaceful smile. But his smile fades slightly as he remembers the number of dead, especially that of one of the twins who hurts him to the core. A selfish part of her inner self has been happy to see Camile among the survivors, she herself had a terrible wound on her leg from a werewolf, but she only laughed saying that it was not that serious.

They would have to wait until the next new moon.

But she was alive.

That comforts him.

“Hey Draco", says Harry out of the blue, turns to see him confused and he smiles at him “I'm glad you're my friend” he talks a bit corny, but he understands.

Friendship is important.

It reminds him of how Sirus talks about his friendship with Harry's father and with Lupin.

“Don't get cheesy Potter, I have a girlfriend unlike a guy who got brave and left her” he comments funny and this one whines indignantly.

A move at his side, makes him see Hermione sitting next to him.

“I'm also glad you're my friend Draco, if I had a brother I'd be like you and Harry.”

“Yes, because if I were Ron I'd be incest.”

A pillow from Ron makes him laugh when he just pats his head, but he high-fives himself.

The four of them laugh, before the four of them end up in their bed, in a knot of hands and legs, sleeping together. Draco at that moment thinks about what his life could have been different, if he had been selected in another house, but when he feels Harry's elbow, when Ron snores or when Hermione babbles by his side.

He knows.

He wouldn't trade it for anything, this feeling of being filled.

And he hoped that, in a few years, everything would be just like this moment, the four friends.

The house of Gryffindor.

His house.

[amelink66world]

Love of my Life

Hey guys!! This is the sixth part. Enjoyyy💞

Doughnuts

The ride back to the hotel was deathly silent. For a highly chatty person like Amelia who held her emotions on her sleeve was eerily quiet. She was not even glancing towards Link!! She just kept looking out the window. Link's worry was growing by the second. Those bitches broke her! How are they even her sisters? They don't even know who the real Amelia is! Tonight was not supposed to be like this. Say something Amelia! Anything. Just say something. I can't see you like this ! She looks so vulnerable. Plchh

Link could not hold it in any longer. He looked at her for a long time before speaking, " Are you okay? "

He was met with silence. He slightly leaned towards her to gauge her reaction but, nothing. I told her not to go! She didn't listen to me.

He made matters worse by saying a bit sarcastically, " I said we shouldn't go "

That seemed to crack her. She replied icily, " I said we shouldn't stay ".

Why is she yelling at me? Is she trying to blame me? What did I do?!

" Wow. So your sisters are terrorists but suddenly I'm your problem?? ", he said with a hint of hurt in his voice.

Amelia was feeling betrayed. Dejected. Humiliated. Ashamed. No scratch that. Not ashamed. She didn't have to feel ashamed for anything! Agitated. Enraged. Angry! She just needed to be with herself for sometime but Link didn't seem to stop talking. She obviously understand that he's worried about her about she just needs to be alone!

Link could related to her frustration and tried to console her in the best way he could. " Look, everything was going fine until your mom arrived and called us in on our bluff. And, I know it got a little rough...". She interrupts him, " A little rough? Are you serious Link? It was a lifetime of humiliating mistakes and dirty laundry on display. Do you know how embarrassing that is?! "

Trying to diss the situation and make her understand that his feelings for her does not depend on her past, he smiles, " I don't care about your laundry."

Nobody has ever said that. How can he not care about my wild past? Of course he does. How can he not? I'm incapable of love. I can't take down Link with me. He deserves someone much much better. To push him away from her, she deliberately hurts him. "Yeah. BUT I CARE!! You were my pain management. My human blue light, mood enhancing when placed over my body and now you know too much!! And I'm...uh.. I can't." I am so sorry I said that Link. But I had to do it. I don't want you to develop feelings for me.

Her words go piercing straight through his heart. They bring tears to his eyes but he doesn't let them flow. He swiftly turns his head in obvious indignation and hurt. Does she really only think of me in that way? Am I nothing more to her? The way she smiled at me and the gleam in her eyes were only for the sex that I was giving her? She's hurt, I understand. But I can't. Nope. I can't anymore. I have to let her go.

They ride in silence after that. Suddenly both of their phone start beeping. " Jonah's in respiratory distress. We need to leave for the hospital now."

Amelia instructs te cab driver, " Could you take us to the Fox Medical Center as fast as you can please? We're in a hurry! " Link was surprised at her complete change in demeanor.

They realised on examining Jonah that the surgery didn't work had to perform another surgery to replace to rod they placed. But the patient didn't want that. He was actively denying the surgery which would not in the least improve his quality of life. Amelia then suggested a vertebral column resection surgery. Link was flabbergasted!! She should've discussed it with me first before suggesting such a high-risk surgery.

                She explained the procedure and the patient seemed convinced with her idea. Link quickly recited the notable risks of the surgery but seeing Amelia's confidence, the patient went with it.

They had a blow out in the scrub room where Link was thinking that Amelia is not okay and doing this surgery only to prove a point to her bitchy sisters!

Link was really concerned about her. She was not acting okay. She finally convinced him and the surgery was a success. But Jonah still hadn't woken up even after 10 hours of the surgery. They did hourly checks on him but still nothing! They were really getting worried.

             He finally woke up with no neurological deficits. They just performed a medical miracle and gave a teenager his life back. Amelia was on an adrenaline high. He was elated. I'm so thankful to God. Their opinions don't matter to me. They don't define who I am and they certainly don't get to question my surgical skills. Hah! Booyah Kathleen. In your face!

On their way out the hospital, Amelia was aware how poorly she had treated the man right next to her who always stood by her side. Even when she acted irrationally, he never left her side. She was highly repentant. He didn't deserve such a treatment. To redeem herself, shewanted to spend some time with him out the walls of this hospital so as to make it up to him.

" Thank you Link for uhh... thank you ", she said timidly.

"You were brave and it paid off ", he smiled down at her. How can he even manage to smile at me after all the horrible things I said to him?!

" Do you want to go somewhere to eat? I know a great Mexican place here ", she  desperately hoped he'd say yes. But he looked away guiltily and unintentionally crushed her hopes. Of course he doesn't want to spend time with me. It was so stupid of me to think... I don't deserve this fine man. I'll only sabotage him. Forget it.

At her offer, Link stood there silently for a few seconds just looking at her. I know she feels sorry but I can't spend anymore time with her like that. We need to act professionally. She's my colleague and nothing else. I need to curb my feelings. She made it very clear that I was just a human blue light for her. She doesn't need emotional baggage and I'm incapable of giving that to her. I have to let her go. And I'm hurt too! I understood how she needed to vent out her feelings but not like that!

He softly denied her offer, " No, uh, I need to walk. I'll see you on the plane ", subtly indicating that he needed some alone time. Link then left the hospital in a pretty gloomy mood.

Amelia couldn't stop the dejected look from crossing her face. She wanted to clear out the misunderstandings between them and didn't want him to feel horrible for the way she acted.

Amelia also wanted to make things right with her sisters. She was at fault to some degree for never telling them about anything. They deserved to know about her brain tumor and her divorce, even if they didn't bother attending my wedding, provided they don't pass snarky comments. She reached out to Nancy because she was the most forgiving sister. She knew she had a morning shift in the hospital so she texted her. Are you in the hospital? The reply was quick. NO. Of course. How typical!

She was turning to leave when " Hey kiddo! " rang through the halls of the hospital. She focused on the owner of the voice. " MOM ?! What are you doing here? " Amelia was shocked. The last person she expected to see here was her mother!

" Do you have a minute? Cam we go somewhere and um...talk? ", Mama Shepherd looked hopeful. She missed her youngest daughter.

They were sitting on a park bench. There was some awkward silence. Both scrambling for words. No one knew where to start, it had been so long.YEARS.

Carolyn asked about her divorce with Owen. Amelia told her but nothing in detail. " It just...didn't work out." Immediately after that she asked, " Do you think I'm incapable of love? That I sabotage relationships? I don't know how to love?", she said with a breaking voice. Carolyn's heart broke for her. What prompted her to think like that? I just know it in my heart that that military man, Owen said that to her. I just knew he had some problem when I first met him.

Mama Shepherd felt protective of her daughter. Amelia didn't deserve to think like that. Oh I'll strangle that man the next time I see him!! That asshole!

Carolyn thought of a way to make her realise her self-worth. She told her about a childhood story about her tendency to never give up and not being afraid of failures. That was the quality of hers that out of all the Shepherd children made her the most like her father. She was trying to keep her tears at bay by the end of the story. Amelia sharply looked at her mother on her revelation. If there was one man in the whole world whom she loved most apart from her brother, it was her father. Amelia felt this searing love for her mother when she compared her to her father. That was the reason why she pushed Amelia away from her. She reminded her of her husband. She was the spitting image of Papa Shepherd and she could not even bring herself to look at her own daughter!

She shifted closer to her and apologized for not being there for her when she most needed her mother in the walks of life. To make sense out of life. How to cope with loss. She was never there. That was her biggest regret! She would never be able to forgive herself for that. She said, " I would like to change myself now. I wat to rectify my mistake and be there for you if you'll let me. Do you allow me to be in your life more? ", she was on the brink of tears and hopefully asked her.

         Amelia could not fathom the sudden turn of events. She sympathized with her mother and hugged her tightly. Carolyn then apologized for missing her wedding and how things never go well with the sisters. Most of all for not being there for her brain tumor. She started crying harder after saying this but then laughed at the irony of the situation.

Amelia then told her about Leo and Betty and the troubles that they brought with them with Betty being a drug addict. She finally now realizes how hard it must've been for Carolyn to take care of her. She was ten times more troublesome. She apologized for putting her mother through a lot.

Carolyn then gave her a last parting advice, " If you don't think you're worthy of love, if you don't think your love is valuable, you're wrong. And that's on me. I wasn't there for you when you most needed me so put that on me and move forward."

" What if I can't? "

" Well, then that's on you." Her mother looked in her eyes to make her realise that she was wrong to think like that. " Now go and apologize to that young man. Atticus Lincoln. Such a fine name and he calls himself Link." Both of them were laughing hysterically. " Don't let him go. I saw the way he looked at you and stood up for you. Now that is a man to hold on to. He passed the Mom Test." She waved her hand, " Now go and make things right. Tell him I say hello. And kiddo, please keep in touch." They embraced tightly for a few more minutes and went their separate ways.

Amelia now had a clear train of thought and knew what she  needed to do. She needed to make thi gs right with Link. She finally knew what she wanted. Or rather...WHO she wanted. She hurriedly went to the hotel only to find Link long gone. She took a shower, checked out and quickly went to the famous doughnut place Link told her about. Gotham Doughnuts. Huh, suits his personality since he clearly is a big fan of superheroes. She ordered several of those glazed doughnuts Link loved. She wanted to look at the surprise on his face.

She entered the private jet timidly. He was obviously watching a baseball game. How typical of him. She silently chuckled. She kept the box of doughnuts in his line of vision. She stood before him waiting to be noticed. He was not happy. He was sad. And angry? He looked up at her with an expression lacking the adoration he usually possessed. I can't bear HIM looking at me like that!

" You were kind and you were brave last night too with my family and in that surgery too. You didn't have to do that with me", she spoke softly. He kept his tablet aside and intently looked at her. She then sincerely spoke, " But you stood by me through all of that. You are...surprising to me." Link looked at her with a glimmer of hope in his eyes in beating her words. Maybe there's a chance for us after all?

" You deserve a lot better than the things that I said to you. You are more than a human blue light. Though...you are very, veryyy good at blue lighting." Link's heart swell with pride. Huh. Is that so? There was a small smile tugging at his lips but he quickly recovered. " I'm sorry. It was not my intention to hurt you in any way. I would like to make it up to you if you'll let me? ", she said with hopegmful eyes.

Link was just staring at her with hooded eyes. She was unable to read his expression. Suddenly he picked up the box of doughnuts and kept in on his lap. He then tapped the seat beside him silently asking her to sit next to him with a radiant smile on his face. She pouted slightly and looked at him opening the box. She was smiling widely looking at his astonished expression.

How can I not forgive her? She looks so innocent and cute timidly standing like that. And she brought my favourite doughnuts!! Ah she remembered!! Man I love this woman. Wait, not like thaaat. Hehe...It's too damn early for that.

He licked up on doughnut and put the whole thing in his mouth in one go. Amelia was laughing with her mouth wide open. He's just a small child when it comes to food. He strangely reminds me of Alex. Both are pigs when it comes to food. She laughed at her thoughts and quickly shook her head.

Link hummed his approval at the taste and offered her a doughnut urging her to eat the whole damn thing like him in a single shot. She looked at him with determination and opened her mouth. It was freaking too big for her mouth! She applied pressure on both the sides to make it smaller and pushed it inside her mouth but it was of no use. She had a very small mouth and it couldn't go any further!

Link was laughing hysterically looking at her antics. His laugh prompted her laugh which made it all the more difficult to eat the whole thing. Both of their mouths were filled when they tried to talk which made them laugh harder. Link picked up another doughnut but this time Amelia snatched it from his hands. He looked at her with mock betrayal but when she divided it into two pieces so that it would be easier for her to eat and offered the other piece to him, he smiled petulantly.

With a muffled voice he said, " Yeah you can eat like that too", making her laugh. They continued feasting on the doughnuts until they were completely sated.

" Thank you so much Amelia." She smiled and noticed that he had some crumbs on the corner of his mouth and pointed them out to him. She leaned a bit and brushed those crumbs with her hand. He was smiling a toothy grin and brushed the crumbs on her mouth with his finger. Both were laughing permanently shoving the fight they had at the back of their minds.

They still had their hands on each other's faces. Their smile died down and subconsciously they were inching closer. Link wanted to give Amelia the total control of the situation and waited for her to take the next move. Amelia noticed his eyes growing darker and looked down at his lips. He just looked at her waiting for her to do something. The anticipation was killing her.

         She quickly leaned down and captured his lips with hers. She wrapped one hand around his neck and held his face with the other to deepen the kiss. He wrapped his fingers in her hair to push his tongue inside her mouth. He always loved her short and silky hair. Their tongues were battling for dominance. They made out for several more minutes until Link broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. She caught their breaths for a few seconds until Link pulled her in for a hug. He whispered in her ear, " I missed you. And I'm sorry."

Amelia tightened the hug on beating those words and hummed, " I missed you too." They pulled out from each other's arms and were beaming.

Link then wrapped his right hand around her shoulder and Amelia laid her head on the bridge of his neck and shoulder. They laid there in peaceful silence and content.

    Suddenly Link's muscles tense and he starts fidgeting. Amelia waited patiently for him to speak his mind. Impatiently she blurts, " Out with it, Link! "

Link's eyes widen and he nods furiously, " Ok, Ok. "

" Sooo, you had a brain tumor? ", he asks with wide, worried eyes. Amelia starts laughing. Why is everybody so focused on the brain tumor topic. It's not that important, she shrugs. Amelia doesn't realise how stupid that sounds.

" Yeah I did", she chuckles. " I had a 10 centimeter benign Grade - 1 meningioma".

" TEN??!! YOU HAD A TEN CENTIMETER TUMOR IN YOJR BRAIN?! And you're behaving as if it was not that big a deal??!! ", Link shouts incredulously. Hus eyes are wide and astonished.

" Liinkkk, relax! ", she laughs again. " The tumor had been growing for ten years and then I called Tom at the time. He was my teacher. He completely removed my tumor. Sooo, not a biiig deal. "

Link didn't understand her calmness. He always hot a bit nervous when he talked about his own cancer. But here she was, as calm as the sea. I just don't understand this woman sometimes. He shook his head a d chuckled.

Link tightened his arm around her shoulders and brought her body closer to his. He buried his nose in her hair. " I'm so glad you're okay ", he said sincerely.

Amelia wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his neck. He ways made her vulnerable. He had the ability to make her feel all the feelings. " Me too. I'm happy I turned out okay and not gorked. Yayy, I'm not a vegetable." The mood was suddenly lightened and both of them laughed.

" I met my mother before coming to the airport. We had a heart-to-heart. I'm glad that she approached me. It strangely cleared my head. I really needed that." She looked up at his eyes with a weird kind of hope which Link could not comprehend. He was pretty sure he had a different kind of a gleam in his eye when he looked her in the eyes.

They were content in each other's arms throughout the flight. They took a nap blissfully holding each other. Amelia came out of the airport a completely new person, her arms linked with Link's. They kissed softly , hugged and went their separate ways for the day with wide grins on their faces, silently agreeing to meet at the coffee cart or the on-call room the next day. They were thrilled for this new adventure.

Amelia couldn't wait to tell her ' original sisters ' everything about the trip as soon as she reached home. She just wanted to hug her sisters and her nieces and  nephew to call it a day. Finally something good came out of the trip, one the surgery couldn't have gone better, second her relationship with her mother at last was not bitter and they were on better terms. Lastly, she finally knew where her relationship with Link headed!!

Author's Note:

Heyy guysss!! Sorry it took me a while to update. I had certain health issues. Anyway, how was this chapter? I didn't concentrate much on the surgery part and only on the AmeLink part because, who am I kidding? It's an AmeLink fanfiction!!😂

I enjoyed writing this chapter. It would've been really good for the story had the makers included more of the plane scenes at the end of the episode. Don't forget to comment! I'll update soon. Until then.

[alyricalberry]

And Did You Ever Feel Like They Were Ringing True || Rachel, Hiram, and Leroy Berry

Who: Rachel Berry, Hiram Berry & Leroy Berry

Where: The Berry home, Columbus, OH.

When: Saturday, May 5, 2018 (before Japan)

What: Rachel has some question for her dads, and she maybe doesn’t really like their answer.

Notes: Holy wow is this a late para :x The title is a continuation from this para bc this is kind of a continuation of that para. I also just really like the song okay??? Anyways this is pretty much The Thing so enjoy!

When Rachel went home after Fuchs’ trial was over, the atmosphere in the Berry house was quite different than what it usually was. Saturday mornings were usually full of cooking and singing, and Hiram and Leroy would show Rachel new spells they’d learned through their travels. Rachel would go help her dads out at the shop and afterwards they would order Chinese food and watch some sort of old movie together. That had been their tradition for so long, the three of them doing so much together. But this time... this time it felt different.

Rachel hadn’t seen either of her dads since the end of January. She’d hardly even spoken to them since then. Partly, she was frustrated with them since there was this seemingly huge secret that they’d kept from her her whole life. On the other hand, though, she was also kind of scared of finding out the truth. She had barely even thought the words to herself. She didn’t want to. She couldn’t be a... But she was willing to put her frustration behind her. Surely there would be some sort of explanation and everything could go back to normal. This was the longest Rachel had gone without speaking to her dads, and she missed them despite being angry. She tried her best to be optimistic that things were going to turn around.

But when Rachel took the portal from NYADA to Ohio, she could feel that something was... off. Hiram and Leroy weren’t as upbeat and happy as they usually were. Breakfast was cooked and eaten without much conversation. Both of her dads’ familiars were out, but instead of Chep perching on Rachel’s shoulder and nuzzling her hair to hopefully get a bite of food and Archimedes pacing around the table trying to snap up any crumb that fell on the table, they were both perched on their respective witch’s shoulder and sitting practically still, which was very uncommon for the two birds, especially Chep. That’s how Rachel knew things were serious. But she still wouldn’t let herself think as to why they were all so silent and serious. She was definitely overthinking it.

After they’d done the dishes, Rachel couldn’t take it anymore. “Can we talk. Please. I don’t like this silence,” she told them.

Leroy gave Rachel a pained smile and gestured for her to follow. “Let’s go talk in the parlor, hm? I know we all have a lot to talk about,” he said.

Rachel followed her dads to the parlor, the birds swooping in behind them. Archimedes settled on his perch by the bookshelf while Chep settled on Rachel’s shoulder once she was sitting. The birds’ weight comforted Rachel a little bit. Rachel had a thousand memories of sitting in this room with Chep on her shoulder. Hiram’s familiar had been around Rachel’s whole life. While she loved Archimedes, Chep had appeared to Hiram when they had adopted Rachel, and so Rachel felt a close bond to the bird. However, as comforting as the weight of Chep on her shoulder was, the quiet around them was anything but. None of the Berrys were ever this quiet. Usually there would be music floating through the air, or Leroy would be reciting a passage from whichever book he was reading. There was always something happening. But now they were just sitting in the living room, Rachel across from her dads, and things felt so, so awkward.

“Rachel, we know you have questions about… the piece of paper you showed me back in January,” Hiram started.

“And we know that it’s confusing,” Leroy continued. “But… I’m afraid the only answer we can give you is quite unsatisfying,” he told her.

Rachel frowned. “What do you mean? It’s a simple yes or no answer. Am I a Bloodline or not?” she said, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. But it was a question she’d had for months, since she got the cards from Asterismos, since she destroyed Plue with her magic. She knew the answer, but she didn’t want it to be true. Mostly because she didn’t want to have to completely rethink her entire life and the opinions she had, but also because she couldn’t be a Bloodline. Aside from Mike and Sam, and Quinn and Hunter, most of the Bloodlines she knew were horrible. She absolutely could not be one of them. Her dads were tell her that it was all a misunderstanding, right?

The hard look Hiram and Leroy gave each other told Rachel that she definitely would not be getting the answer she wanted.

“Baby, we’re going to tell you what we can. But you have to listen to the whole thing. And you can’t interrupt,” Hiram said, giving his daughter a look.

Rachel took a deep breath and settled back on the sofa, reaching a hand up to pet Chep’s head. “Fine. I’m listening.”

Hiram nodded. “Good. When your mother came to us and agreed to let us adopt you, we were so happy. You know this. We were willing to do anything to get you. That included promising her, on our magic circles, that we would never tell you, or anyone else, about her, or her family. We honestly never thought you would ask about it. But now that you are… I’m sorry, Rachel. We can’t answer any of the questions you have,” he told her.

A thousand emotions were running through Rachel’s head, but one of them was at the forefront of all of them. “So you chose to lie to me?” she said, crossing her arms. “My whole life. You were just never going to tell me about who I really am?” Because it had to be true. Who else but a Bloodline would hide a child away with two New Age witches and make them swear on their magic circles to keep it all quiet?

“Rachel, we didn’t do it to lie to you. We thought it would protect you,” Leroy said. “We wanted to give you a good life, which you have had. If you want answers, you have to speak with the people who sent you those cards, but I really think it would be best if you just destroyed them and moved on.”

Rachel closed her eyes to try to keep the tears she felt prickling up away. “No matter how you spin it, you agreed to lie to me my whole life. How am I supposed to trust you?” she asked.

Hiram took a deep breath and went to sit beside Rachel, taking her hands in his. “You’re allowed to be upset, but none of what we did was to hurt you. You’re our daughter, we love you, and we want to protect you. I’m sorry that we can’t tell you what you want to know, but it really is better that way.”

Rachel shook her head and pulled her hands away from Hiram. “No, it’s not! I am a completely different person than I thought I was and you’re telling me I should drop it? I can’t just forget about it. And I can’t just forget about the fact that you agreed to lie to your daughter her whole life! ” She stood up quickly before either of them could respond, Chep squawking and flying over to her perch to not lose balance from Rachel’s sudden movements. “I have to go. I obviously am not going to get any helpful information here,” she said harshly, using her anger to cover up just how upset she was. “I’m going to Japan with school for the month. I guess I’ll call you when I get back,” she added before storming out of the room.

Leroy stood to go after her, but Hiram stopped him. “We have to let her get through her anger. Going after her now isn’t going to accomplish anything.

***

Rachel was almost in shock as she walked back to the portal to get to NYADA. Before she knew it, she was back in her room, thankfully empty. She’d only picked up her bag that was hanging in the entryway of her house, her duffel bag full of clothes and other things forgotten in her room. At least she had her grimoire. She pulled it out and took out the copies of the Asterismos cards she kept there, summoning a small flame to burn them away. She was so, so angry with her dads. But maybe they were right: it was best to drop it. After all, her unspoken truth didn’t have to be true at all if no one knew about it.

[solastia]

Beneath The Surface | 5

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 5,746

Genre & Warnings: Angst, very sad Hobi Hobi ( I feel like that should be an actual warning lol), some fluff, Jisoo is an annoying bitch and calls everyone Oppa and Unnie, obviously cussing because it’s me. This is mostly an MC character growth chapter, where Sunflower’s past gets resolved so she can move on and be more open to possibilities in her future. 

Notes: I really hate making my Hobi sad, so I hope you guys realize how much work went into this chapter. I literally made myself cry. 

“Hold up, she said what?”

Hoseok gawked in disbelief at Bang PD. He really hoped this was a fucking nightmare because he was ready to wake up. 

“Hoseok, she already told me everything, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t act dumb. I just wish you would have come to me with this sooner so we would have a more concrete game plan. For now, we just have to post a couple of pictures and maybe have Jisoo show up at a concert or something. We’ve already made the official announcement on Twitter.” Bang PD sighed and rubbed his temples like he was forming a migraine. Hoseok felt like he might be developing one as well. 

Bang PD looked at Hoseok with such a disappointed gaze as he waved a paper in the air that he felt like a worm, even if he was innocent of this. 

Bang PD cleared his throat and read the paper. 

“As the leader of Hypnotic, I feel like it is my duty to come clean with any personal matters that may affect my group. So I am happy to announce that I am officially dating Jung Hoseok of BTS and that I will be making it public knowledge.”

“But none of it is true!” Hoseok yelled, slapping his open palm against the desk. He was just so frustrated. Why wouldn’t anyone listen? “I’ve never even said anything to her beyond hello and goodbye. I’ve never been alone with her, I’ve never touched her, and I am certainly not dating her.” 

“Hoseok, can you really blame me for believing this? You’re literally still on lockdown because you got caught sneaking out to see a girl. I hate having to treat you guys like kids, but it is for the good of the entire group. Now we have to deal with this. Hopefully, the fans won’t freak out too much and just accept it. Give it at least a few months, and we’ll announce a split if you’re still set on it.” 

“Of course I’m still set on it. I don’t know or like her. Please, don’t make me do this! Just say it was a mixup or a misunderstanding! I never ask you for anything! The girl that I’m on lockdown for, she cant see this! I’m with her, not Lee Jisoo.” Hoseok pleaded, unable to control the tears anymore. 

Bang PD quietly sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Hoseok. It’s already been announced. As far as the world is concerned, you’re dating Lee Jisoo.”

Hoseok crumbled into the desk chair, shoving his face into his hands as he sobbed. He was so close to being done with everything. So sick of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, sick of not being able to live like a fucking human. And now...now they were taking away his hope. His Sunflower. 

“Don’t be afraid to stand a little closer, you two. This is a couple photo after all.” The photographer chuckled as he pushed Hoseok and Jisoo closer together. 

Hoseok was so uncomfortable, and he’d never been so close to punching a woman in his life. He’d been practically choking on his rage since the moment she’d step foot in the office. Her smug strut and overconfident smirk had him seeing red. He didn’t understand. Why him? She could have pulled this stunt with any of them. Why the hell did she pick him? He’d never done anything to encourage her or piss her off that he knew of. He didn’t know when they’d get a chance to talk alone, but when they did, she’d learn he wasn’t all sunshine and smiles. 

“Achoo!”Jisoo sneezed delicately. Followed by a sniffle, then two more mouse-like sneezes. Hoseok glared down at her only to see her gaze narrowed in on the sunflower pinned to his shirt. 

“I’m terribly sorry, Hoseok Oppa, but that flower has to go. I’m allergic.” Jisoo batted her eyelashes up at him, and his scowl deepened. No way in hell. 

He ignored her and focused on the photographer. He saw her fake smile start to slip a little from the corner of his eye and gained a little bit of satisfaction from that. He tried to zone out enough to where he couldn't hear the annoying sniffling. She could deal with being uncomfortable for a few damn minutes considering she’s fucking with his life. 

“Jisoo, why does it look like you’re crying?” The photographer asked, walking up to them with a slight frown. “I can’t shoot with you looking like that.” 

“It’s just that I’m allergic and can’t be around flowers. Hoseok Oppa has a sunflower on his shirt.” She responded quietly, almost sounding apologetic. 

“Ah, I see. Hoseok, as charming as you look with your flower, we'll have to get rid of it to get through this,” the photographer sighed. 

Hoseok was about to fight to keep it when he saw Manager Sejin shake his head from behind the photographer. Hoseok dropped his head in defeat. Sejin was under orders to add another day to his lockdown everytime he acted out during this whole debacle. With a trembling hand and a weary heart, Hoseok unpinned his sunflower and gave it to Sejin to hold onto for the duration of the shoot. He couldn’t help feeling like it was almost symbolic. 

Seeing Jisoo’s satisfied expression as he got back into position pissed him off, so he let his mask drop. He let every hateful thought, his disgust with this situation and her, and general unhappiness shine through in all its glory. Her eyes widened, and he swore he heard a little gulp. Good.

“Let’s get this over with, yeah? And quit fucking calling me Oppa.” He slipped back into his Jhope persona, smile as wide as the sun, and prayed his Sunflower would see through it. 

“Stop looking so good.” You groaned at the television in frustration. 

After the news with Jisoo, the media had been going crazy, and now every channel you tried to watch had something BTS related. They’d even mentioned it on a cooking show! The news was always paired with yet another stunning picture of Hoseok, and it was driving you mad. You couldn’t get away from him. Even Momo missed him. Anytime something played that had Hoseok’s voice, Momo’s ears would perk up, and he’d give the saddest little whine. You were both pathetically whipped for the man.

Just as you’re about to throw something at your TV in frustration, your friend Nari lets herself into your apartment. She shakes bottles of raspberry soju knowing you’ll let her stay thanks to her offering. You sigh and scoot over, patting the spot next to you on the couch.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you and those lovely bottles, but whatcha doing here?” You ask as you crack open one of the bottles and take a sip. She follows suit and sinks into her seat. 

“You’ve been either moping here at home or working your ass off in the studio, so no one’s seen you in forever. We’re all worried. What’s going on? Can you finally tell me?” Nari asked softly, looking at you with her big brown eyes filled with worry. 

You sigh and decide it’s finally time to clue someone in on all the madness. You’d never told your friends you’d seen Hoseok again after that time at the bar when you’d first met. You’d wanted to respect his privacy, and while you trusted your friends, you’d just wanted him to be safe. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. And even though you were hurting right now, you still couldn’t find it in you to be regretful about bringing him home that night.

You cuddle up next to Nari and pour it all out. You told her of your date, the time apart, the week you’d worked together. You’d told her that you were head over heels in love with Jung Hoseok. And that it didn’t matter because somehow he was now dating one of the girls you choreographed for. You observed in amusement as her eyes widened with each twist or reddened when she was angry, or you’d perhaps shared a little too much. 

“Y/N. This whole time. I knew you were upset about something, but I assumed it was because of your ex. Holy shit though, JHope and you! I didn’t know you were going through so much. I feel like a horrible friend.” Nari’s face fell, and she threw her legs over your lap and cuddled up to you. You chuckle and pat her head fondly. 

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure her, but she looks at you like she knows that’s a lie.

“I know you say that, but your eyes tell me a different story. The way you talk about him...you never sounded like that with your ex. Like, never. I was never even sure you liked him, let alone loved him. When you talk about Hoseok though? I’m almost envious because he sounds like your soulmate. You really loved him, didn’t you?” 

You should tell her no, keep repeating the lie over and over until it sticks. Instead, you just tell her the truth. “Yes, I did. I still do. I can’t make it stop, and I don’t know if it ever will.” You pat her shins draped across you with a heavy sigh and give her a bittersweet smile. 

“What we need to do is get this Jisoo chick out of the picture,” she declared, causing you to raise an eyebrow in amusement. 

“You sound like you’re in the mafia now.” You laugh. “Besides, she’s an idol. Even if I do work with her, there’s nothing I can do.” 

“I will gladly join the fight.” Nari declares, fist to the sky.

“There’s nothing to fight against. Get your shoes off the couch and stop quoting Hamilton.” You giggle as you push her legs off you and get up. You weren’t as drunk as you wanted to be and the two of you had run out of soju. You were sure you had some wine somewhere around here. 

You were distracted from hunting through your cabinets when you heard a gasp. You quickly turn around to see if Nari was okay. She was staring at her phone in shock. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to peek. Nari quickly slammed the phone against her chest, blocking it from your view. She looked up at you with alarmed eyes. Clearing her throat, she murmured, “Nothing.” 

“Nari...” You spoke in a flat warning tone. Somehow you knew what you were about to see. “Just show me.” 

With a great show of reluctance, Nari handed you the phone. Right there on the official BTS twitter was a picture. A couple picture. Of Jung Hoseok and Lee Jisoo. 

Your hand was shaking so much that you couldn’t keep the phone still, but you could still make out every detail. Jisoo looked so proud and beautiful as she stood next to him, her tight pale green dress complementing Hoseok’s grey and green suit. He was smiling widely, and you didn’t know if it was just a vain hope that you thought his eyes looks unhappy. Your eyes scanned the picture, feeling like something was missing. You stared, wondering what you were looking for when it suddenly hit you. 

The sunflower. There was no sunflower. 

You scanned the entire picture, thinking maybe they’d told him he couldn’t wear it with that outfit. Perhaps he’d had to hide it somewhere. So you looked at every corner and crevice the picture showed, zooming in on everything. Not only was there no sunflower, there wasn’t even a single flower of any kind in the picture. 

It was over. Hoseok didn’t want you anymore. 

You inhaled shakily and handed Nari back her phone, not meeting her eyes. You push yourself up off the couch and make your way to the kitchen to renew your search for the wine. You needed it now more than ever. 

“Y/N...Do you want to talk about it?” Nari asks tentatively as she walked behind you. 

“No. What’s there to talk about? He’s moved on to someone in his own world, someone his company obviously approves of. He looks happy. That’s all that matters, right?” You answer, voice shakey as you try to keep your emotions in check.

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not,” Nari whispers as she hugs you from behind and the contact makes you break down. You crumble to the floor and Nari follows you down, gathering you up and rocking you gently as you sob. 

Tomorrow, you promise yourself. Tomorrow you’ll go back to being fine. You’ll go to work and pretend that seeing Jisoo doesn’t kill you inside. You’ll go back to trying to live your life without Jung Hoseok in it. 

But tonight you needed to be miserable. Tonight you needed to cry and mourn what was probably the love of your life. So you let Nari play with your hair as you wept all over her until you finally fell into an exhausted sleep and hoped he’d be in your dreams.

You stare at yourself in the dance studio mirror as you wipe the sweat from your face. You’d had the girls working for three hours now, and you were tempted to add another hour in hopes it would wipe the smirk off Jisoo’s face. 

This whole time you’d been wondering how Hoseok and Jisoo had happened. You didn’t even remember them ever talking, but they apparently had because she was looking at you with such venom that there was no way this was about dance practice. 

She knew. 

Jisoo was looking at you with pride and disdain. The look of a woman who’d won. The look of a woman who probably pitied you. If she knew, that meant Hoseok had told her, because you were sure the two of you had been careful enough. Why would he tell her? Did they sit around and laugh behind your back? Were you really so desperate for love that you’d become an easy target? 

“Y/N Unnie, you look distressed. Is everything alright?” Jisoo asked sweetly, her eyes wide and a worried look on her face. The overall effect was ruined by her smirk. 

“Oh, I’m just super Jisoo. Just worried about the choreography. If you were a better dancer, it wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m wondering if I should dumb it down a little. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, sweetie.” You mock in a dulcet tone.

The rage that filled Jisoo’s face made you childishly happy. You turn away and prepare to leave when Jisoo grabs your wrist and digs her overly long nails in. 

“I’m so sorry, Unnie. Maybe now that I have Hoseok Oppa, I’ll get better. It’s amazing what those hips of his can do. But you already know that, don’t you?” She coos, and you have to clench your fist behind you to keep from smacking her. You tear your wrist away, momentarily allowing your irritation to be seen. 

“You are far from the innocent you portray yourself to be," you answer in a monotone. You clench your teeth and hope you can keep your emotions in check. Your job was more important than Jisoo’s enjoyment of your pain. 

“Oh, Unnie. Are you upset that I took your man? Don’t be. I’m doing you a favor after all. Eventually, he would have gotten bored with a nobody like you. He needs someone who understands life as an idol, someone who looks beautiful next to him. Sadly, that’s not you. Don’t worry, I’ll treat him well.” Jisoo smiles evilly. 

“You know, the truth about what a bitch you are is going to come to light, and we’ll see how much of an “Idol” you are then. If I find out this is all fake and you’re hurting my Hobi, I will fucking end you.” You growl, your patience finally nearing its limit. 

Jisoo’s throws her head back and laughs. “You think you can threaten me? You? You’re nothing. Hoseok already told me all about your little camping trip fuck. Said it was the easiest lay of his life.” Jisoo narrowed her eyes at you, searching for signs of weakness. You gave her nothing and quickly turned to storm out of the room. 

“Get back here. I’m not done talking to you, wench!” Jisoo shrieked.

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” You taunt as you slam the door behind you. 

You quickly make your way to your car and throw your duffle bag into the seat next to you. You lean back and finally let your tears fall, angrily hitting the steering wheel. You couldn’t remember ever crying this much over anything. You didn’t even cry when your fiance had cheated on you. You didn’t want to cry anymore. 

You wanted to get drunk. 

You start your car and call Nari, ordering her to get the girls together. It was time for a night out. 

It felt bizarre sitting in this club again. The last time you were here was when you were drinking away the fact that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you’d met Hoseok. A night that seemed so long ago when it really wasn’t. Now you were back, mourning your shitty love life yet again. In the same seat at the same table with the same girls. Nari had already told you she’d tried to invite the boys again, but their lockdown was no joke. She hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone but had left messages letting them know they were here.

You zone out as the girls chat around, your gaze narrowed on the booth that Hoseok had dragged you to that first night. You want to laugh and cry at the same time as you think about all of the stupid “get to know you” questions Hoseok had asked you. Beyond the usual “What’s your favorite color,” he’d also asked ridiculous things like “What cartoon character turns you on the most?” and “What kind of dance style should our firstborn specialize in?” You smirk to yourself when you remember his judgemental look when you’d told him clog dancing was probably going to be pretty popular by then. God, you missed him.

You are brought back to the present when your friend Tiffany pokes your side. “You might want to look over at the bar.” She says, and your eyes follow her pointing finger. 

At first, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary. The usual assortment of greasy men and sad women. A little flicker of hope wants you to believe it’s Hoseok she’s pointing out, but you hadn’t told her anything about him yet so it couldn’t be that. Your eyes flutter across the bodies assembled in front of the bar, and you finally spot who your friend is pointing out. Even from behind you can tell who it is. With a heavy sigh, you observe the man with irritation as he turns around and meets your eyes. 

Your ex-fiance Seon smiles like he’s genuinely happy to see you. When you notice he’s walking towards your table, you nod towards another open booth, not wanting to subject your friends to whatever drama he was about to start. 

“I’ll be right back.” You murmur to your friends, smiling reassuringly at Nari who was looking at you with concern. 

You slide into the booth and stare at Seon. He’d obviously come here straight from work, as he was still in his suit pants and white shirt. You thought he’d maybe lost a little bit of weight and wondered if he was forgetting to eat again. He did that sometimes when they were working on something big at his company. You shook your head and reminded yourself it wasn’t your problem anymore, although five years of worrying about the man in front of you was a hard habit to break. 

You were a little surprised with yourself. You’d imagined various situations where you’d run into him again and you’d always pictured you’d be an emotional wreck. Instead, all you felt was mild irritation and trepidation over whatever he wanted to talk to you about. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask, trying to force yourself to keep a civil tone.

“Work. We’re celebrating closing a huge deal. You remember that one with the CEO from Japan that we’ve been talking about for almost a year? It went through. Probably going to get a promotion after this.”

“Congratulations, Seon. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been working hard for that one.” You were amazed by much you really meant it. 

“You look good, Angel.” He says softly, smiling as he fidgets with his drink. 

You snort at the use of the nickname. “Did you pull that overused line straight from the post-breakup manual?” 

“Does that exist? I could use that. How to survive breakups for absolute morons.” He joked, and you genuinely laughed. His smile softened as he watched you. You return his stare and just sit in silence for a minute. Seon keeps searching your face like he’s looking for something or memorizing your features.

“Why did you come over here?” You blurt, growing uncomfortable. 

“I wanted to apologize.”

You cock an eyebrow and prepare to say something snarky, but his expression makes you pause. He looked like he was sincere. Of course, you’d thought he was nothing but honest and sincere throughout your entire relationship and look where that got you. Still, you nod for him to continue. 

“I’ve wanted to call you since then to talk to you, but I either chicken out or decide it’s better to just let it be and let you move on with your life. However, I just can’t pass up the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I know that nothing I can say will erase what I did, or how unbelievably stupid I was to do it, but the least I could do is tell you that I regret it so much and that it was never your fault.” 

You bite your lip and soak in his apology. You’d always wondered if you’d done more, if you’d been more, would he have cheated. You’d felt like used trash for months, so this was nice to hear. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, looking down at the remnants of your drink. 

“I just...kinda want to tell you why? I mean, I didn’t go out and choose to do that with a reason clear in my mind, but I’ve been moping around the apartment alone for six months now. Plenty of time for introspection.” 

You look up surprised that he’s willing to give you more. He’d never been the most emotionally open person. You nod and observe as he takes a deep breath before locking eyes with you. 

“I think...it was mostly because I was scared? You know how my parents are. Poster children for a marriage gone wrong. The rumors are that once upon a time they were madly in love. Now they have screaming matches three times a day and make jokes about waiting for each other to die. I just...didnt want that to happen for us. I didn’t want you to wake up one morning and realize you were just waiting to die to get away from me. I didn’t want to see the love in your eyes dim year after year as you realize I’m not worth it. I wanted you to be free to find someone who deserves you more than me, someone who’s not so fucked up. So I kinda subconsciously did that in the hopes of being caught so you’d end it without regrets. I realize that I went about it in a shitty way, but that just proves my point of how I don’t deserve someone as great as you. I should have manned up and told you my fears. Then you could have just hated me for being a coward instead of a cheating coward.” 

To say you’re surprised by everything he’s telling you would be an understatement. This was probably the most you’d ever heard him speak about his feelings. You sigh deeply and grab his hand. 

“I don’t hate you. I was angry, though. So god damn angry. At myself, at you, at the world. I was disappointed. Afraid. I worried that with any future relationship I had I would be waking up every morning and wondering if that was the day they’d grow bored with me too. But I never hated you. It’s hard to really hate someone that you’d spent five years loving.” You tell him as you pat his hand. 

“Never bored. Five years and I was never once bored. Sex with you was always amazing so you can take that off your list right now.” Seon jokes and you giggle and slap his arm away. 

“I just want you to know that I’m not telling you all this because I want you to take me back. In fact, I would be incredibly upset if you did take me back after going through all that to let you find someone better than me. I just...wanted to give us both some closure and I wanted to make sure that you knew that it was absolutely not you. You took such good care of me that six months later I’m still trying to learn how to cook and do laundry. You supported me in everything, and I always appreciated how much you were there for me. I will always, always love you. You were the first person to love me and even if the both of us end up married to someone else in the future, I will always regret never marrying you. I just never thought I deserved your love. The blame is all on me and my issues. Speaking of which, I actually started counseling last month, with the therapist that you told me to look into about my parents. I decided that I probably needed it so that I don’t try to sabotage my relationships again in the future.” 

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re doing that.” You smile at Seon warmly. You were starting to feel a little lighter inside. At least one of your issues was getting resolved. 

Seon chuckles before clearing his throat. “Also, I know it’s a lot to ask, and I totally don’t expect you to take me up on it right away, but I was hoping we could still see each other? I don’t mean see each other, but like, hang out? It’s just...for five years you were not just my girlfriend, but you were also my best friend and my one constant in life. I wake up, and I forget that you’re gone. I start your coffee and toast, put on pants and grab a leash to take Momo out for a walk, and it’s not until I wonder why I can’t find him that I remember you’re not there. I just really miss talking to you. I miss you. And I miss our son. How is Momo?”

“Your son Momo is fine.” You grin. You’d forgotten how he always called Momo his son. “He missed you for awhile. Refused to sleep in his crate unless I put a shirt of yours in there. Look, I can’t promise to be able to easily become your friend again, but I’ll try. And in the meantime, you can have visitations with Momo if you wanted. I’ll admit that beneath the anger, I did miss you too. We did have five years of good memories before that day.” 

“Thank you. You didn’t even have to talk to me, so thank you for listening, and I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime. Thank you, Angel. Goodbye.” Seon’s eyes were suspiciously watery as he grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. You smile and pat his cheek. 

“Thank you. I was worried I’d be bitter forever. Call me in a couple weeks, and we’ll set a day for you to take Momo to the park or something.” You say as you stand up. You spot bright red out of the corner of your eye as you step away from the booth. Out of curiosity, you glance towards the bright color only to be met with Hoseok’s shocked eyes. He frantically looks between you and Seon, confusion and hurt in his eyes, before hardening his gaze and stomping away. 

“No, HOSEOK. Come back! Shit...” You yell after him, trying to make your way through the sweaty crowd. You spot Nari at the bar and corner her. 

“What are they doing here? I just saw Hoseok?” You shriek, grabbing her by the arm as you keep walking towards the door he exited out of. 

“I guess Sejin saw my texts on their phones since he’s the one holding onto them and decided to give them a free night for good behavior. Most of them are at the booth already. I guess they can’t stay that long tonight though since they have some meeting tomorrow. Come sit, I’m sure he just went to get a drink.” Nari tries to reassure you, no doubt seeing your panicked eyes. 

“No. He saw me talking to Seon. He probably thinks I moved on because of the stupid dating announcement. God, the way he looked at me, Nari. There’s no way that dating thing is real. He looked genuinely hurt. I have to find him. I’ll talk to you later.” 

You storm out of the club, frantically searching for Hoseok. You walk up and down the streets and dark, scary alleys. Your feet were still in your stilettos, and they were in so much pain. There were even bloody blisters on the back of your heels that would make dancing considerably painful for a while. Finally, after an hour and a half of searching, you decide to give up, mostly because you could barely walk anymore. Either he’d found a taxi, or he just didn’t want to be found. 

You head back to the club and search for your friend's table. You wanted to at least try to get one of the boys to relay the message to Hoseok that what he thought he saw wasn’t right. As you finally get close enough to the booth, you see it’s once again a girls-only table. You ask Nari, and she tells you that they’ve all gone home already. Your last option is her, so you tell her to text them all that you needed to talk to Hoseok. You text him yourself as well, although you know the chances of Manager Sejin relaying your messages are slim. 

It’s time to give up and go home, you decide. You say goodbye to your friends, receive a hug and an order from Nari to call her later, and order a taxi. You have him stop at a convince store and buy four bottles of Soju. You were going to need them. You stumble into your apartment in an unhappy daze, stopping to peel your high heels off your blood crusted feet, before plopping onto the couch. You scratch Momo behind his ear and crack open your first bottle, forgoing glasses altogether. Soon enough, your mind starts to blank of everything but Hoseok, and you fall asleep thinking of his dismayed expression.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungover in your life. 

Since the moment you’d woken up and rolled off of the couch to crawl to the bathroom, you’d been throwing up. You’d only made it through two of the Soju bottles before you’d passed out and you usually made your way through six at a time with no problem. You wracked your brain trying to think of what else it could be. Maybe something you ate? It couldn’t be anything else because you just had your...

You weakly grab your phone and find your tracking app. Your last period was two months ago. Right before you’d met Hoseok. 

“Shit...shit...fuck...” You call Nari in a panic, saying two words you’d never said before. It was a code you’d all established back in college when scares were the norm. It meant I need you and bring the stick.

“Code Stork.” 

[lastbluetardis]

More Than a Name

Thanks a million to @chocolatequeennk for the title suggestion!

Ten x Rose AU, kidfic, ~2000 words

When James heard the word “Daddy” come from a sixteen-month-old’s mouth, he was overjoyed. The only problem was that the child calling him “Daddy” wasn’t his own.

AO3

“Oh, look, Alexa! Daddy��s here!”

James froze in the middle of crouching down to accept the baby that was sprinting towards him, and the sixteen-month-old girl collided with his shin. She squawked angrily, but James’s ears were still ringing.

“No, no, no. She’s-she’s not my daughter,” James stuttered. “I’m her mum’s… she’s my… Rose’s…”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the daycare employee said, her cheeks flaming red.

“I just pick her up on Thursdays and Fridays for Rose,” James mumbled. “She’s my… er, friend. And neighbor, incidentally. She works late those nights.”

He trailed off lamely, not sure if he or the daycare aide was more mortified.

A little hand was slapping at his legs and a little voice was shouting, “Daddy! Daaaddddyyyyy!”

He glanced down at Alexa, shocked. Hearing her call him ‘Daddy’ pulled at something deep in his chest and lodged an ache in his throat.

“Hey there, Lexy-Loo,” James said, scooping her up into his arms. “Have a good day?”

The baby babbled unintelligibly at him, and he smiled as he listened and nodded indulgently whenever Alexa paused. James grabbed the baby bag then walked to the carpark, and settled her into the car seat he kept in his vehicle at all times.

They made the short drive to his flat, where he set her loose to play with the toys and books he kept in his home for the girl.

James was distracted all evening, trying to work though how he felt about the new moniker Alexa had given to him. He worried about how Rose would react, too. She was his best friend, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t harbor a little crush—okay, a major crush—on her. But in the two years they’d been in each other’s lives again since their school days, she’d never given any sort of sign that she saw him as more than a friend. He was just a mate who regularly babysat her daughter.

What if Rose thought James was trying to take over parenting, by letting the baby call him ‘Daddy’? What if she decided he was becoming too involved in Alexa’s life, and she decided to cut off contact?

James’s lungs seized in his chest at the idea of Rose and her daughter disappearing from his life. He’d grown so fond of them. Well, he was a little more than fond of them. That original fondness had grown into something more like love, but he daren’t call it that. He had no right to call it that.

The baby was asleep by the time Rose got to his flat, and he was glad he wouldn’t be ousted yet. Hopefully he could teach Alexa to call him ‘James’, or at least discourage her from calling him ‘Daddy’, and Rose would be none the wiser.

Of course, he should have known better. When he popped ‘round Rose’s for dinner that weekend, Alexa sprinted up to him and hugged one of his legs. She then tugged at his trousers, wanting to show him something, but he first gave Rose a hug hello, and Alexa evidently wasn’t feeling very patient.

“Daddy!” she said, tugging at him more vigorously.

James blanched, and he saw Rose’s jaw drop in shock. Alexa was still pulling at his leg, but he was looking steadfastly out the window. After nearly a minute of awkward silence—well, near silence, as Alexa was still chanting ‘Daddy Daddy Daddy’—James finally tried to explain.

“I didn’t… she just…” James scratched his hand through his hair as he floundered for words. “This lady at the daycare… She was new… She didn’t know I wasn’t Lexa’s father, and ever since, Lexa’s been calling me ‘Daddy’. I’ve been trying to get her to stop, but ‘James’ is apparently a much more difficult name to pronounce. I’m sorry. She’s not mine. She shouldn’t be calling me that. Completely inappropriate, and all.”

“Right,” Rose said, her tone a little cool.

“Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy!”

“No, sweetheart, come here,” Rose said, bending down to pick up her daughter. The girl squirmed and reached out for James, but before he could accept the child, Rose turned away, leaving James reaching out into the space between them, utterly baffled by Rose’s behavior.

“I think you should go,” Rose said stiffly, her voice cracking.

“What?” James squeaked.

“I think you should leave, James,” Rose repeated.

“But… why?” he asked, feeling a hard knot lodge itself in his stomach as all of his fears were coming to life. Rose must have realized how much he loved her daughter, and it wasn’t something she was comfortable with. She wasn’t going to let him see Alexa ever again. He was never going to see either of them ever again. He felt sick to his stomach, and he couldn’t make his legs move to take him out of her flat.

“Because I won’t have you hurting my daughter!” she snapped.

James blinked, and some of his dread left him.

“Hurt… What?” James asked, feeling so confused.

“She’s sixteen months old!” Rose said. “She doesn’t know better!”

“Rose, stop, please,” James said, his brain working to try and sift through what was happening. “I think we’re having some sort of misunderstanding, because I am honestly and truly baffled right now. Please, can we just talk?”

Rose pursed her lips and gave a quick nod.

“Okay, thank you.” He gestured to the couch, and they both sat down. Alexa squirmed in Rose’s arms until she set her down, and the baby ran up to James and tugged at his trousers again. “And can I please go see what she wants to show me so we can have a conversation without her trying to interrupt?”

Rose nodded again, and James allowed Alexa to pull him to the floor. She babbled at him as she guided him to a stacking toy she had been playing with. The colorful rings were all mounted properly on the peg, before the baby took them all off and started re-stacking them, naming the colors as she did.

“Oh, well done, Lexy-Loo!” James exclaimed, and the girl beamed at the praise.

A few minutes later, Rose joined them on the floor, looking less angry than she did before.

“What did you mean earlier about me hurting her?” James asked quietly, accepting the plastic rings as Alexa handed them to him. “I would never. You know that.”

“I know you’d never hurt her intentionally,” Rose said. “But there are still ways you can hurt her. Rejecting her, for one.”

“Rejecting her?” James asked, furrowing his brow.

“You know my dad left when I was a baby,” Rose said, and he nodded. “I went to find him when I was seventeen. And when I did find him, I called him ‘dad’ to his face. He got angry, and he walked away from me and said a bunch of horrible things about me and Mum. That hurt so much, James. And I won’t have my daughter feeling that, either.”

“But… I’m not her dad,” he said blankly. “Unless… did Jimmy come ‘round?” His muscles tightened and he seethed with anger at the idea that the abusive arsehole deigned to talk to Rose.

“No, no,” Rose hurriedly assured. She reached out and touched James’s forearm, and the fight left him.

“Then I am quite honestly still confused,” he admitted. “I’m not trying to be thick, I swear.”

Rose sighed and looked down at the carpet to pick at the threads as she murmured, “Lexa’s calling you ‘Daddy’. And you obviously don’t want her to.”

“I… What?” James spluttered. “Who said I opposed to her calling me that?”

Rose’s head snapped up to look at him with the most peculiar expression on her face. James felt his cheeks heat up, and he paid more attention than was needed to accept and hand off plastic rings to Alexa.

“What are you saying, James?” Rose asked.

“I love Alexa more than anything in the universe,” he whispered through the lump in his throat. “I thought you knew that. She’s the best thing in my life. And she isn’t even mine. And I thought you would be offended if she started calling me ‘Daddy’. Because she isn’t mine, no matter what I want.”

“You… You love her?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, the word barely audible. “Yeah, I do. So much, Rose. I’ve loved her since the first time I laid eyes on her in that hospital room with you.”

A sniffling sound broke through the roaring in his ears, and he turned to chance a glance at Rose. Tears were falling in fat drops down her cheeks, but she was smiling.

“You love her,” Rose whispered, swiping at her eyes.

“Of course I do,” James said, and he wasn’t entirely sure what possessed him, but he then blurted out, “And she’s not the only one here that I love.”

Rose’s face crumpled with more tears, and James waited with bated breath and hammering heart for Rose to acknowledge what he’d just said.

“M-me?” she asked, her voice small through her tears.

“Yeah,” James said, drumming his fingertips on the small red ring still in his hands.

Rose let out a giggle-sob, and she scooted closer to him. James reached out and cupped Rose’s cheek in his hand, hope swelling up inside him when she nuzzled into his touch.

“I love you, too, James,” she whispered, reaching up to rest her hand over his.

Anything that was left of James’s nervousness abruptly departed, and he was left feeling giddy and warm. He beamed at her, and he closed the distance between them until his thigh was pressed to hers as they sat side by side. He wrapped his arm around her hip in a sideways hug, and he pressed a firm kiss to her temple.

“I’ve loved you for so long, Rose,” he whispered. “You and Alexa.”

“We love you, too,” she murmured, leaning closer into his embrace. “And, just so we’re clear… you don’t mind that Lexa’s calling you ‘Daddy’?”

“I don’t mind in the slightest,” he assured. “It’s the most fantastic thing anyone has ever called me. I was worried you would be upset by it. That’s why I was sort of ignoring Lexa earlier when she first said it in front of you. I panicked.”

Rose snorted out a laugh and tilted her head up to press a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. The touch of her lips against his skin made him shiver, and he wanted so badly to duck down and catch her lips in a proper kiss.

But before he could make a move, Rose did. She pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth, and let her lips hover there for a moment, as though allowing him time to pull back.

He didn’t. He turned his head and met her lips with a sweet kiss that felt so amazing. Her lips were soft and smooth, save for the small callus on her bottom lip where she liked to bite it. She tasted wonderful, and he angled his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

After many glorious minutes of snogging, they finally broke apart at the sound something falling over. The glanced around for Alexa, and found her by the bookshelf. She’d apparently tried to pull out a book in the middle of the stack, and they all fell to the floor around her, but she was happily sitting amongst the books and flipping through the one she grabbed, chattering to herself.

“You know,” Rose murmured, resting her head against his shoulder. “My child calls you ‘Daddy’, yet you and I haven’t even been on a date.”

“Well, I’ve come over for dinner nearly every weekend,” James mused. “That doesn’t count?”

“If you were counting them as dates, you never told me,” she teased.

“I’d always imagined one day they’d count,” he admitted sheepishly, the tips of his ears flaming red. “That one day I’d pluck up the courage and ask you out. Never quite got there ‘til now.”

“And even now, you haven’t asked me on a date,” Rose pointed out, smirking at him.

He rolled his eyes.

“Oh, all right,” he said with a long-suffering sigh. “Rose Tyler, would you like to go out to dinner with me? As a date? Say next week sometime?”

“Hmmm…” Rose tapped her finger against her chin. “I’d need to find a babysitter. My go-to guy is indisposed that night.”

James giggled, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head feeling warmer and happier than he’d ever felt before, and feeling like the luckiest bloke in the universe.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: The Most Beautiful Mistake (9/16)

Summary: Belle French and ‘Rumpel’ Gold have been best friends for a long time, ever since Belle first walked into Gold’s yarn shop. One stormy night, one bottle of wine, and a couple of heartfelt confessions later, and their relationship will never be the same again.

Rated: NC-17 overall, this chapter is T.

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [AO3]

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Nine

Almost as soon as the words were out of Gold’s mouth, Ruby gave a satisfied smile, nodded firmly, and slipped out of the shop door. Despite the fact she was incredibly fierce and he was more often than not terrified of her, he found himself wishing that she would come back so that hopefully she would protect him from Belle’s ire. Then again, Ruby was Belle’s friend and would likely take her side in any argument that would no doubt follow.

But Belle wasn’t looking angry. There were tears in her eyes, and Gold had known her long enough to recognise those as tears of happiness, not of any negative emotion.

“Belle, I, I’m sorry,” he began, desperate to fill the silence with something and the apology being the only thing that he could think of to say, but Belle shook her head before he could speak again, rushing over and pressing a small piece of paper into his hands. Looking down, Gold saw that it was a sonogram picture.

“He’s due on the 3rd of June,” Belle said softly. “Well, we don’t know that he’s a he yet, but I think he’s a he.” She stroked over the little black and white image. “I wanted you to have this, but I didn’t think you would want it.”

“In the spirit of the incredible honesty that Ruby demanded, I wanted to be there,” Gold admitted. “But I knew you didn’t want that.”

Belle looked up at him. “I wanted you there too,” she said. “I nearly asked you to come, when we met you in the hospital. But I knew you didn’t want to be involved. At least, I thought I did.” She glanced down at the picture again, and then pressed a hand over her still-flat belly. “I don’t know what I know any more.” Finally she looked up at him, a tear running down the side of her nose. “What happened to us? How did we end up coming to this?”

Gold couldn’t answer that, he didn’t know himself. He’d been so certain of everything in his life and now he didn’t know whether he was coming or going.

“Tea,” he said eventually, going over to lock up the shop and making his way through to the back room; Belle followed him and settled on the stool next to the spinning wheel bench, her usual spot. It was good to see her there again. She fit the space, looked at home there, and now, despite the fact she was crying and her nose was running, she looked at home there again. He put the kettle on and brought a box of tissues over to Belle, who blew her nose loudly. He was on the verge of crying himself. All this time thinking that he would not be able to be a part of their child’s life, that Belle didn’t think he should be involved, and he had been wrong. He was going to be a father again. It still made absolutely no sense to him, given what had transpired between them before, but he wasn’t going to knock it.

He sank down onto the spinning wheel bench as he waited for the kettle to boil, pressing his hands over his face to try and hold back the tears of joy that were threatening to fall, and losing the battle. As he wept, he felt Belle’s small hand come around his shoulders, providing comfort and drawing her own from him.

“We’re going to be parents,” she murmured, and there was an innocent wonder in her voice that Gold knew could not be faked. “We’re going to be parents, Rumpel, and I’m so happy about that. You know how much I wanted to be a mum and right now I can’t think of anyone I’d rather raise a child with than my best friend.”

Gold grabbed a tissue, wiping his face. The kettle had boiled but he made no move to actually go and pour them any tea.

“I wanted to be involved, Belle,” he said. “From the very beginning. I couldn’t believe that I’d been given another child, another miracle. But I knew that you didn’t want me around.”

Belle’s brow furrowed. “But I did,” she pressed. “Where did you get that notion from? I thought that you didn’t want to be involved because you were avoiding me all the time.”

“Because you didn’t want me around,” Gold repeated. He paused. “When you first told me about the pregnancy… You said that you didn’t expect anything from me.”

“And I didn’t,” Belle said. “I meant what I said. I didn’t expect you to get involved. I wanted you to, though. So very much.”

“So… Why did you tell me you didn’t expect me to get involved, then?”

“Because I wanted it to be your choice. I didn’t want you to feel forced into being a part of something that you didn’t want to be. And you’d been so skittish ever since that night, I didn’t know how you were going to react. And then when you stayed away, well, it was obvious to me that you didn’t want to be involved.”

Gold sighed. “We’ve made a right pig’s ear of this, haven’t we?” he said. “Just one little assumption led to all this misery.”

Belle nodded. “We’re hopeless.”

“I think it’s a good job Neal and Ruby appear to have infinitesimal patience with us.” Gold gave a snort of laughter, remembering the conversation with his son, Neal pressing him to listen to what Belle was actually saying rather than what he thought she was saying. Looking back, there was absolutely no reason why Belle’s words should have been misconstrued as a warning to stay away, but with everything else that was going on at the time, that was how he had interpreted them. Context was everything.

“Well, Ruby’s patience just ran out.” Belle laughed weakly. “How long do you think we would have gone on tiptoeing around each other if she hadn’t intervened?”

“Forever, probably, given the rate we were going.” The steaming kettle finally registered and Gold got up to make them tea, bringing the mugs over and settling back down behind the spinning wheel. Belle leaned into his side again. It had all come about in the main because they hadn’t been talking to each other. Although they both had other friends, Belle especially had Ruby and Ariel to whom she was very close, their deepest thoughts and worries were things that they shared with each other and felt that they couldn’t share with anyone else. And they hadn’t been talking to each other, because of what had happened, and everything had spiralled out of control without that other person to bring them back from the brink of despair and labouring under terrible false impressions. He glanced down at Belle as they drank their tea in a silence that was, at long last, companionable again. Ruby had told them to focus on the baby, rather than each other, and he could do that. Whether she had forgiven him for that night remained to be seen, but that wasn’t important right at that moment. What was important was that she was having a baby and she was happy and she wanted him to be involved, and that was all that he could ask for.

For the first time in a long time, Gold felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Whatever had happened between him and Belle in their personal relationship, they could put it aside and focus on the wonderful new life that they had created entirely by accident.

Presently, Belle put down her empty mug, slipping her arms around him in a familiar hug.

“I’ve missed you,” she said. “I’ve missed our friendship.”

“Me too.”

They stayed in the embrace for a long time.

“So what do we do now?” Belle asked. “I had a vision of us sitting on the sofa exchanging increasingly weird baby name ideas.”

“We’re not naming him Englebert,” Gold said quickly. “If I get say in the name then I’m vetoing that.”

“What is it about the name Englebert?” Belle asked. “Ruby zeroed in on that one too. Do I look like a person who’d name their child Englebert?”

Gold shrugged. “You named me Rumpelstiltskin.”

“Yes, but there was a reason for that. Besides, Rumpel suits you.”

“I’m flattered.” Gold paused. “If it’s a girl, maybe Evanna?” he suggested tentatively. “Or as a middle name, I don’t mind.”

Belle gave him a contented smile. She didn’t need to ask, she knew it had been his mother’s name.

“Evanna’s a beautiful name,” she said.

There was so much left unsaid and squashed down in the back of his mind, refusing to let it come to the surface and spoil anything now. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and he’d do anything to make her happy and he wanted them to be a family in the most primal sense of the word; he wanted her to move in with him and let him take care of her as a partner and lover should. But that was a conversation for another time. For now, he was simply grateful that the terrible misunderstanding that they had brought upon themselves was resolved.

Presently Belle gave a sigh beside him.

“I should probably get back to the library,” she said. “I left it in kind of a panic when I realised I’d lost that picture.” A small chuckle escaped her. “Now that I think about it and look back, Ruby was right. I was being silly. I got myself all worked up over nothing. I guess this is what happens when we don’t ground each other.”

“We got there in the end,” Gold pointed out. He was sad for the few weeks that they had missed out on each other’s company and the time he had missed bonding with his child, but ultimately he was happy that they were on an even keel again now, and he had hope for the future. It was an odd colour on him, not one that he wore often. Belle had always been the optimistic one out of the both of them and it was strange to take on that role now.

“We did. And now we’re going to have a baby.”

She was biting her lip in that way that she had, the one that made him want to kiss her, and gently, she took the hand that was not holding his mug of tea and pressed it over her tummy. Gold didn’t think that he had ever been happier.

“You’re going to be a wonderful mum,” he said, horribly aware of how choked his voice was, but really unable to care at that moment.

“I already know you’re a wonderful dad,” Belle said. “We’re both idiots but I think we’ll be good parents.”

Gold nodded. Now that he had the chance to be a parent again, he was going to do his absolute utmost not to screw it up and make Belle regret wanting to raise her child with him.

She stood, grabbing her handbag and making to go back to the library.

“I’ll see you later?” she asked. “We could go to Granny’s for pie. Ruby will probably be relieved to find that we’re friends again.”

“Yes.” Gold smiled wanly. “I should probably thank her for her bluntness.”

“She just wants the best for us,” Belle said. “It’s tough love sometimes, but it’s love at heart. Besides, I don’t think she’s too mad at us; if this hadn’t all happened then she might never have got a date with an emergency room nurse. I’ll see you later, then?”

Gold nodded, and unlike the other times in the past few weeks when they had said goodbye, he knew that he would see her later. He walked Belle out to the front of the shop and unlocked the place, turning the sign back to open and watching her walk down the road towards the library before he moved away from the door.

He was still hopelessly in love with her and he was still utterly screwed, but his heart was lighter now than it had been in a long time.

X

Waiting outside the diner, Belle rocked back and forth on her feet. Ever since her talk with Gold, when so much had been cleared up, she felt like she had been walking on air, and she had to keep pinching herself to check that she wasn’t dreaming. Of course, a large part of her was still inwardly cringing at just how wrong they had got it, and just how badly they had swung themselves off the rails as a result of just not talking. She thought back to what Ruby had said, that they should just focus on the baby and not try to think about or second guess each other. Her feelings for Gold could wait a little while, until they were back on an even keel. Certainly they had made huge headway in that one little conversation earlier in the day, but even though they were both now sure that they were both incredibly happy about this baby, there was still a lot to be sorted out and organised before they could even hope to get themselves sorted out.

On cue at six o’clock, Gold stepped out of the yarn shop across the street and locked up, limping over to the diner with a smile on his face.

“Hey,” he said softly when he reached her. “Pie?”

Belle nodded. For perhaps the first time since discovering that she was pregnant, she felt properly hungry, like she ought to be eating for two. Strange how just taking one element of stress out of her life - her constant fretting about Gold’s feelings towards the baby - had made so much of a difference and taken such a weight off her shoulders.

Gold opened the door for her and she stepped inside. Ruby was sitting at the counter on her break and she looked up from her magazine on hearing the door chime. She smiled when they came in, obviously together, and slipped off her stool, grabbing the last dregs of her milkshake and slurping it up with a grin as they took up their usual booth in the corner. It was always their go to spot whenever they had been to Granny’s together in the past, and it had made Belle rather forlorn to see it empty these past few weeks. Sitting there alone had not felt right.

“So, I trust everything is moderately well in Belle and Rumpel land?” she asked, coming over as she retied her apron and took out her order pad.

Belle nodded firmly. “Everything is very well, thank you. What’s the pie?”

“Blueberry. Let me guess, two slices a la mode?”

“You know us so well, Ruby.” Gold gave a small smile.

“I do, which is why it’s been so painful watching you avoid each other for these past couple of months.” She crouched down by the table, leaning in close so as to avoid being heard by the diner’s other patrons. “For what it’s worth, you’re both a couple of utter idiots but I can’t think of two people more suited to have a baby together, so I’m very glad you’ve got your act together.” She straightened. “Right. Your order will be right out.”

Belle watched Ruby bustle off into the kitchen and gave a satisfied sigh, doodling patterns on the formica tabletop with her fingertip.

“She’s right,” she said wistfully. “On all accounts.”

“We’ll work something out,” Gold agreed.

The quiet between them was companionable, the way it always had been. They didn’t need to talk, they never had done. They were happy enough just with each other’s company. She looked at Gold, regarding him critically as she wondered what features of his their child might inherit. He always maintained that Neal looked more like his mother, but having seen father and son together so often, Belle could tell that in mannerisms at least, Neal was every inch Gold’s younger double.

She hoped their baby would have his eyes, those warm, chocolate brown eyes that could be so deep and so rich and hide so many secrets. Normally he was one to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially when it came to his family. She’d seen proof enough of that this afternoon when he had been so ecstatic to become involved in their baby’s life. Now though, she was looking at a mystery, his dark eyes and the little smile curling at the corner of his mouth telling her nothing.

“What are you thinking?” she asked presently.

He shook his head, the smile spreading over the rest of his face.

“Nothing much. Just thinking about us, and what’s going to happen next.”

Belle could well understand that, and she had to wonder herself as Ruby brought their pie over. She wondered how many people would guess the truth, that Gold was the father. It would come out soon enough, but for now, Belle had no desire to spread the news herself. It was not out of any shame, far from it, and she did not fear a violent reaction from Gaston that much. Well, maybe a little. But the main reason that she wanted to keep it between them, just her and Gold and Ruby, was that for so long it had just been her and Gold, in their own little battle against the world. Sure, she had other friends. She had Ruby, and she had Ariel and she had all the rest of their little girl gang, but whilst Ruby was her closest female friend, she had never been as close to Ruby as she was to Gold. Neither of them had anyone else, really, apart from Neal. After her dad had died, Belle had accepted Gold and Neal as her surrogate family. There wasn’t any need for anyone else to be involved. People would find out when they needed to, and that was that. There was no need to make a big song and dance out of it. The entire town already knew far too much about the pregnancy to start with thanks to Zelena and her mouth, and Belle had had quite enough of everyone poking their nose into her affairs. Now that she had Gold to lean on again, things could go back to the cosy way they had always been before. Just the two of them, with Neal and Ruby to keep them on the straight and narrow if they decided to derail themselves again. Not that she thought they would. They’d both witnessed first hand how much not communicating had affected them.

She took a bite of pie, the warmth of the tangy blueberries and the cold sweet ice-cream melding perfectly on her tongue, and she gave a moan of pleasure. Gold couldn’t help but snort, evidently trying very hard not to start laughing out loud and spew his own mouthful of pie and ice cream across the table at her. Belle glared at him and swallowed.

“Don’t make me hit you with my spoon,” she muttered. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ruby giving a good-natured eye roll, and it struck her again just how deeply she had missed Gold and missed this thing that they had. It was such a close bond, could it be any wonder that she had ended up falling in love with him along the way?

She took another bite of pie and put the thought to the back of her mind. That was something to think about in the future, when she felt more settled and sure in herself. For now, there was the present, and there was pie, and at last there was Gold.

“When’s your next appointment?” he asked presently.

“Three weeks today, eleven-fifteen in the maternity unit.”

Gold wrote the appointment on the back of his hand.

“I can’t wait,” he said.

Belle grinned. “Neither can I.”

[heavnofhell]

Please do some officer!Lucifer, like he dressed up for the female Winchester because he knew she had that kink and she just kinda gets embarrassed and splutters whilst her brothers look at her with misunderstanding eyes because they don't understand that she likes lucifer and they just get protective

Okay, so I might’ve missed the mark on this one, but to be fair, I don’t really feel confident writing sister!fics and the like… so this is just a short little one-off to hopefully bring you a bit of amusement. 

St. Michael, Enroll Us In Your Heavenly Force 😈

“I don’t understand why I need to be dressed in this manner.”

“Lucifer…” Sam sighed for the umpteenth time since they’d left the motel room, glancing over to the archangel with a hint of amused annoyance in his eyes. “I’ve told you. If you want to be a part of our hunts, you’ll have to do things the way we do them.”

“I’ve never been much of a conformist.” Lucifer huffed quietly, crossing his arms and leaning against the passenger door, his cool eyes fixed on the sky as they usually were when he agreed to this method of travel. Sam watched him a second longer, shaking his head and turning back to the road, a smile creeping across his lips when he heard the archangel inhale sharply - clearly not ready to put this to rest.

“This uniform is entirely too confining. The human body is awkward enough as it is, don’t you think?” He raised a brow, shooting Sam a pointed look as he moved to loosen a few buttons at the top of his shirt. The petulant behavior earned him little more than an eye roll and (another) sigh, the hunter turning slowly off of the road and into a small, graveled driveway.

“We’re here.” He killed the engine, grabbing the keys from the ignition and reaching down to pop open the door, pausing a moment to glance back at the archangel’s ridiculous pout. “Lucifer - this is a part of the deal. If you want to go back to being your old fire and brimstone self, then you’ve gotta play by Chuck’s rules for a while. That’s all there is to it.”

“I know, I know.” Lucifer scrunched his nose up in annoyance, his tone anything but accepting. “Please, spare me the “how-to-become-a-real-boy” speech, Sam. I understand the game. I’m just getting tired of playing.” He shook his head, glancing up toward the house distractedly, silently taking note of Dean’s beloved car sitting a few meters ahead of their own automobile.

“I know.” Sam’s voice was quiet, and he studied Lucifer a moment longer, before clearing his throat and pulling himself from his thoughts. “Alright. Dean’s waiting for us. We’d better get in there before somebody ends up dead or - depending on the witness - naked.” He smirked gently at his own joke as he rose up from the vehicle, walking around to the passenger side as a slightly confused archangel followed suit.

“Remember: no strange or demeaning comments about humanity, and you’re introducing yourself as -?” He raised a brow, reaching out to fix the freshly undone buttons of Lucifer’s uniform top as he waited for an answer.

“Officer Bowie.” The archangel responded in a monotone voice, cool eyes looking to the hunter impassively. Sam nodded, unable to suppress the small smile that danced across his lips again, giving Lucifer’s chest a solid pat as he moved away.

“Right. And if the witness asks anything you don’t understand, just let me take the lead.” Lucifer scoffed, but nodded silently, following Sam up the stairs and through the open door, looking around warily at the handful of humans milling about, all dressed in clothing as rigid and somber looking as the archangel’s own.

“Officer Taylor - Officer Bowie - good to finally see ya. Heavy traffic?” Dean rose up from the couch he’d been sitting on, moving forward to greet them, annoyance evident in his features.

“Dry cleaning issues.” Sam spoke quietly, glancing briefly toward Lucifer. Dean’s gaze followed, and his expression hardened a bit more, causing Sam to move off of the topic as quickly as possible.

“So what’s the story?” He lowered his voice, glancing over Dean’s shoulder and toward the young woman on the couch, her eyes distant and haunted.

“Mostly like before. The girl - Tara - comes home from work, find her fiance, Joel, fully clothed in the bathtub, no signs of struggle or injury, insides completely hollowed out, tongue missing, and flower petals over the eyes.” He frowned, turning to look back at the woman, shaking his head in frustration.

“She won’t talk. I’ve been sitting with her for half an hour, and not a word. Hasn’t said a thing since calling 911.” Sam nodded slowly, looking back to the woman sympathetically, drawing in a deep breath as he moved around his brother, approaching the couch with slow, gentle movements. Lucifer followed a few feet behind, but he remained standing, bowing his head as he prepared to watch the interaction.

“Hello, Tara.” His deep voice was quiet and slow, and the archangel tilted his head, marveling silently at how soft such a dangerous man could appear to be. “I’m Officer Taylor, and this is Officer Bowie.” He gestured back toward Lucifer before continuing. “We’d just like to ask you a few questions, if that’s okay.”

Nothing. The woman hardly moved, her blonde hair hanging down around her pale face as she stared blankly ahead, soft, hardly audible half-sobs falling from her parted lips in steady intervals.

“Tara?” Sam leaned forward a little more, bowing his head in an attempt to catch her eyes. “Tara - I know it’s hard, but we need to find out what happened to Joel so we can make sure it doesn’t happen again, and we need your help.” He waited another moment, sitting up slowly and glancing back toward Dean and Lucifer, Dean shrugging his shoulders in defeat, and Lucifer’s eyes trained unwaveringly upon the woman.

With a quiet exhalation, Sam turned back to her, his eyes falling to his hands as he gave a slow nod. “Okay.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out one of the cards he had created for this particular occasion and holding it up between them.

“I’m going to leave this here. If you need us - for anything at all - don’t hesitate to call.” He nodded again, leaning over to place the card flat upon the coffee table before rising to leave, turning around just as Lucifer moved past him. Sam watched him curiously, turning back and looking on in wonder as the archangel kneeled gracefully in front of the unresponsive woman, his icy eyes fixed upon her face for a quiet moment.

“You’re afraid.” Lucifer’s voice was as smooth and clear as ever, rising above the din of the bustling bodies around them as though it were simply meant to be heard. To Sam’s surprise, it earned a reaction even from Tara, her vacant eyes shifting slowly down to meet the striking blues that peered up at her.

“And you are lying. Joel is dead, and you know why.”

“Lu - Bowie…” Sam started forward, warning in his tone, but the nearly imperceptible shift of Lucifer’s head read as clear as day to the hunter. It was a gesture of defiance, and Sam knew better than to challenge the archangel in this moment. He remained wary, however, looking back to Tara as her soft sobbing grew gradually louder, her fearful eyes seemingly transfixed upon the “officer” in front of her.

“He made a deal in your place, and he paid the price.” Lucifer’s tone left no room for argument, but his eyes looked almost sympathetic, and after hardly the beat of a breath, Tara’s expression crumpled into devastation, tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she shook her head in desperation.

“There was… a case… and I had to win. I had to!” Her voice shook weakly between her sobs, her words nearly indiscernible. “We met… this man… he just sat down at our table when we were at dinner, and…” Her voice deteriorated into crying gasps, but the archangel did not leave his place, his cool eyes watching her closely.

“A tongue of silver for a few pints of crimson.” She nodded brokenly, and, much to the surprise of the onlooking hunters, Lucifer reached out and took a gentle hold of her hand, prompting her to meet his unearthly gaze once more.

“What happened cannot be undone, Tara. But you have given us what we needed, and you have ensured that this will not happen again.” He gave her hand a light squeeze, nodding once before releasing his hold and rising back up to his feet. He turned to meet the brothers’ incredulous stares, sighing quietly as he moved past them.

“Lucifer!” Sam’s voice was a hushed whisper as he moved quickly to the archangel’s side, gesturing vaguely back toward the woman. “What was that?”

“What?” Lucifer turned to glance at Sam, brows furrowed in frustration. “That was me playing by these Heavensent rules. Is that not what you wanted?”

“I - I mean - of course it is, but…”

“What the hell, man?” Dean. The shorter brother moved to Lucifer’s other side, seemingly angry for no apparent reason.

“Ah, you’ve asked the right question, Dean.”

“I… what?”

“Bune. A so-called Duke of Hell. It seems he’s topside and wreaking all sorts of havoc.” Lucifer’s voice was deadly calm, and he offered Dean hardly a glance as he spoke, coming to a stop when a petite, black-haired woman nearly ran directly into him.

“Oh! I’m sorry, officer! I wasn’t - oh.” She fell silent, peering up at the archangel with a look of what could only be described as awe on her face, clearing her throat before continuing. “Is… is Tara in there?” She attempted to glance around him, Lucifer looking down at her impassively.

“Excuse me, miss, but you are?” Sam stepped closer, glancing between the two as he attempted to gain her attention.

“Lindi Parlow. I work with Tara. Didn’t know Joel very well, but he seemed like a good guy. I can’t believe something like this could happen to him.” She shook her head, looking back to Lucifer. “It’s just horrible, isn’t it?”

“Hm.” The archangel tilted his head, considering her for a moment, amusement and curiosity alight in his eyes. “Humans can do horrible things.”

“Isn’t that the truth? Well - I feel a lot safer seeing officers like you around. If only every home could have one.” She laughed nervously, the smile on Lucifer’s lips betraying just how entertained he was by the strange encounter and shared subtly by Sam. Dean, however, wore a slightly harder look, clearing his throat as he stepped forward.

“Right - well, you can always get a dog. Now, shouldn’t you be consoling your friend? She’s pretty shaken up.”

“Oh! Yeah - of course.” She nodded, stepping around Lucifer and moving forward a few feet before coming to a halt, turning back to face the archangel. “Here.” She pulled her bag from her shoulder, digging through it for a second before pulling out a small calling card of her own and offering it to him.

“If I can do anything to help your investigation…”

“That won’t be necessary.” Sam smiled gently at her, gesturing toward the living room. “I’ve already left my information with Ms. Douglas.”

“But I insist.” She waved the card a bit, stepping toward Lucifer and slipping it into his breast pocket, patting her hand over the spot, the touch lingering just a bit too long before Dean’s voice rose up again.

“Okay - we got it. Now, if you don’t mind, we really need to be going. Thank you for your help.”

“Anytime.” She nodded up at Lucifer, finally drawing her hand back and moving away, glancing over her shoulder once more before joining Tara in the living room.

“Never again.” Dean walked quickly toward the door, a knowing smile on Sam’s lips as he waited for Lucifer to follow after.

“Dean - he did fine. He did better than fine, in fact.” He looked to Lucifer with a quick shake of his head, allowing the archangel to exit the house before trailing just behind. “That was great, Lucifer. Really. A little intense, maybe, but still.”

“Intense?” Dean scoffed, turning back to shake his head at the pair. “I was ready to dust the ash from the couch or combat a swarm of locusts. Intense!” He huffed again, moving to the driver’s door of the Impala, a quiet “Unbelievable” leaving his lips as he slid in, slamming the door behind him.

“Well. I guess someone wasn’t pleased with my efforts.”

“Don’t worry about him. He doesn’t like competition.” Sam laughed quietly, glancing over to Lucifer and bumping his shoulder gently as they made their way to the car. “We’ll make a stop on the way back to the motel - pick him up a few slices of pie.” He moved around to his side of the car, pausing before unlocking the doors to peer over the roof at the archangel.

“And Lucifer? I hate to say it, but I think that uniform might suit you a little too well.”

[ilonavic]

25 Q/A Personality Tag

A dear friend of mine asked me to do this tag myself after I wrote this a while ago for my lovely friends here on Tumblr, thanks to the post by @annarieta regarding this tag, it gave me a little courage to do it. (I actually think there are many scary questions, I don’t like the idea of revealing it to just about anybody.) RULES: Tag people you want to get to know better.

1. Are you introverted or extroverted? I’m very introverted. I can go weeks on my own, without needing company or social stimulation. 

2. Are you ruled by emotions or logic? I reason from a point of logic, but ultimately make decisions based of what I feel will make everyone the happiest. 

3. What is your happiest memory? Like many others have said already, which was a bit surprising to read, I don’t recall many outstanding happy memories. Like @annarieta said, it’s the small things mostly. But I remember happy car rides with my best friend where we sang (screamed) to music, and traveling to the Vatican City with my classmates. Even if the company wasn’t necessarily good all the time, that place really made me happy. It was so beautiful. 

4. What is your saddest memory? Nowadays, every winter, I go into a state of hibernation really. It’s very dark here during the winter, we have about 5 hours of sunlight everyday. It’s cold, it’s dark and murky. It makes me very depressed. But um. The day I lost my best friend is a terrible memory. We were friends for 8 years and I’ve missed her very much for 3 years since. 

5. In what kind of world would you rather live in? I’d love to live in an Elven world. I love the architecture, I love the purple/blue/mystic gloom of the places. The nature, rivers are very beautiful. Where people cherished art, music, writing, love, beauty etc, and no one cared a wit for politics, cruelty or had any desire to forbid people from being different or happy. 

6. What is your favorite video game? The Witcher, Skyrim and BioShock are my babies. 

7. What is your biggest fear for yourself? Being hated by people. 

8. What is your biggest wish for yourself? To be a happy little hermit =) In a beautiful place where I can write stories, paint and be surrounded by 20 dogs.

9. What fictional character do you relate to the most?  Queen Freya from The Huntsman (she’s my avatar for a reason guuuuuuys). Wait, let me explain, haha. She’s portrayed as a complex evil character. I don’t consider myself to be evil, nor do I consider myself to be purely good either. I can relate to her character process. Alike her, I was very trusting and happy when I was little, I was truly a little sunshine. But like with so many of us, life happens, and then life happens again, and I became... well, a different person really. Like her, I often feel misunderstood and isolated. But I also cherish loyalty above all, and shun love away from me (I also freaking love ice and snow). I think love is beautiful when I see it with other people, but I could never love like that myself, somewhere it’s hardwired in my brain in a twisted way that love is a weakness and can be used to manipulate and harm me. Heartache and emotional suffering is something I'm terrified of (you know, when you can physically feel pain in your chest), and I can’t handle it anymore. So I don’t feel romantic desire towards people anymore, I think I’ve... removed it?  

10. If you could become anything, without any education or demands, what would you choose as your profession? Author or an actress.

11. Do you have any siblings? Two brothers and one sister. I’m the second youngest. 

12. Have you ever wanted to injure someone? When I was bullied, I wanted to injure the people who hurt me all the time, but I never actually did it. 

13. Have you ever wanted to help someone, but didn’t? Yes, but I always try to do the best I can to help someone, even if I don’t know the person. It doesn’t matter, I’ll happily embarrass myself to help someone in need. 

14. What makes you angry? Bullies, homophobes, racists, sexists, rapists, murderers, especially animal abusers can fuck off right to hell. 

15. What makes you happy? My precious jewel, doggy.<3 Also, traveling and airplanes is a joy. Museums, exploring new places, yeah. Fun fun. 

16. Would you rather beat up a small child once - or get beaten up by an angry man every single day for the rest of your life? I don’t want to beat up anybody, so bring me the man. Maybe I’d get really psychologically twisted and Stockholm Syndrome would set in so I’d start to like it lol. 

17. What places would you visit today if you could? Ireland! Scotland! England! Just because @lithiumgrayangel showed me how beautiful Sevilla is, I wanna visit Sevilla one day. But of course, beautiful Italy (Rome is stunning), Venice again, Russia (possibly Moscow), FRANCE! Finland, Norway and Iceland are beautiful too. Also Warsaw, UK and US. And Budapest. And New Zeeland, Canada, Australia... Gosh I wanna go everywhere, I can’t pick one!

18. Do you want children? Why? If not, why not? To be honest, it will depend on what situation I am in. Did I, against all odds, found a person who wants children? Then yes, in a stable household and in happy relationship, I’d consider having one or two, no more. But... Right now, that future is looking very bleak. And if I end up with someone who don’t want children, then I won’t have children. Just get a dog instead, they’re less fussy.  

19. Did you have a happy childhood? It’s a bit complicated. When I was young, I did have a happy childhood, but my father was also abusive back then. He calmed down once I became a teenager, and then the bullying started, and when the bullying stopped, my dad became sick. And my mother has basically been hysterical and wacky my entire life so. But um, to be honest. I had friends, a roof over my head, food on the table. I got nothing to complain about. 

20. Have you ever done drugs? If you have, would you do it again? I’ve been offered, but I’ve never been interested and nor will I be. I know a couple of people who just smokes pipe and marijuana in front of me? I think it’s odd but. I try not to judge, and it’s not my business. 

21. Would you rather become a child again, possessing all the knowledge you have today, or become middle-aged, with 45 000 000 € on your bank account? I’d become a child again, start my life over, and be twice as intelligent. Could be like a scientist or something. 

22. If you could become any existing famous person in the world - who would you be and why? I admire Lana del Rey a lot, but I wouldn’t want to be any celebrity. Unless I can become someone really powerful and change the world. Like Donald Trump and resign as the president so someone more capable can take over. 

23. Are your parents married or divorced? They’re divorced, but sadly live together still. It’s a stupid decision, but I reckon my father wouldn’t last a day on his own, and my mother must be addicted to misery. 

24. Where do you see yourself in the future? An author, hopefully. Making a positive change, helping people, having meaningful friends in my life, living in a beautiful place surrounded by nature and animals. :) 

25. If you’d like, a question of your own here. Mine is directed to my fellow Witcher lovers; Who and Why?

For friendly purposes, Regis or Cirilla?  I like Ciri, and I can understand why people would choose her, she seems like she would be a lovely friend. But ultimately, I’d have so much to discuss with Regis. I feel like, without being self-absorbed or... delusional in any way, I have some things in common with him. We’re too loyal, we fight for people who don’t cherish our love or advice and we both like discussing philosophical topics with loooooooong sentences (as you’ve probably noticed by now). I’d feel so good in his company, he’s a lovely lovely man. 

For romantic purposes, Dettlaff or Avallac’h? My darling Avallac’h, I know there are so many people who misunderstands him, confuses his intelligence for arrogance. People call him horrible things. To be honest, I don’t have too much against Dettlaff though, I like him, and I love his complex nature. But of course, I’d never pick anyone over Avallac’h. He’s brilliant, and I would love to discover a million new worlds with him. (ps. marry me have my babies)

As your co-worker, Caranthir or Geralt? Caranthir would be a brilliant colleague, though Geralt is probably more lovable, Caranthir is intelligent. He’d help me with my tasks and I’d sit there gazing into his eyes and not hearing a word he’s saying. ♥‿♥ (true story, I often drift away when people talk to me)

As your boss, Eredin or Ge’els? I don’t know, he feels more attainable than Ge’els do. Ge’els is just da boss, he’d rule over me, I’d always feel incredible stupid and inferior around him. But Eredin is kinda wacky, but I love him, but he’s a silly goose so I’d just try to befriend him to eventually marry him so we could rule the galaxy together. 

As your best friend, Yennefer or Shani? Yennefer, my oh my, I’ve been in love with her since the first time I saw her. She’s INTELLIGENT AND INTELLIGENCE IS SEXY ASF. Shani, you cool too but. Meh, I think her character is a bit boring. There’s not much interesting about her that makes her stand out? She’s not really complex either? She’s just... idk... pretty and stuff. Redhead and stuff. (sorry @vaporeox dont kill me)

As your ally, Vernon Roche or Anna Henrietta? Nah nah, always Roche, I love that man immensely. I’d marry him too. I’d marry everyone. 

As your worst enemy, Triss or Dandelion? I don’t really like Triss that much. What she did to Yennefer has ruined her in my eyes.

Tagging: I’ve already tagged people for this tag, but I would like to tag some of my lovely followers who haven’t been tagged in this, tho I can’t possibly tag all of you, I’m sorry about that: @blackeasteagle @everydayzer0es @spooky-cowfish @dovahkiin-deathbat @shadanakara @i-am-the-sword-in-the-darkness @o-moonyue-o @heroesneverdiie @blohandrum @rosiesuzuya and anyone else who wants to do it - you can write you were tagged by me. ❤