#made this in 20 mins please excuse all the mistakes

[letoscrawls]

new episode of the most unserious show tomorrow

[from-izzy]

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[ericsangyeon]

addicted - l.sy

‘He was like fire, she was his igniter. Together they were each other's addictions.”

pairing: sangyeon x female! reader

word count: 7.0k

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

theme: gang au sorta??

warnings: SMUT!!, profanity, drinking, guns, blood, kidnapping, bang chan and skz are villians

a/n: hey guys! i wanted to try writing a fic bc why not! this is my first tme ever writing smut so be nice. also this was edited many times but there could be mistakes so just bare with me. enjoy it! i worked really hard hehe -t :D

playlist moodboard

~

“Kevin oh my god. I'm not going to that criminal ball.” I roll my eyes at my best friend.

“Pretty please? You can finally meet Jacob! And I'm pretty sure a certain someone wants you there too,” Kevin smirks from the other side of the work area. I stop cleaning the countertops and stare up at him with wide eyes.

Kevin, and his boyfriend Jacob, are members of the underground mafia group TBZ, which never gets brought up when I'm with Kevin because he knows it makes me uncomfortable. That was until Lee Sangyeon came into the picture. Sangyeon is the leader and “big boss” (as Kevin calls him) of TBZ, and has somehow found interest in me. Ever since Kevin brought him into the cafe a month ago during one of my shifts, I kept bumping into him everywhere. From work, to campus, to even near my apartment. He tries to make small talk with me, which I always ignore and keep distance from him. I see him all the time despite wanting to, and I want nothing to do with him…. even though he literally looks and talks like an angel sent from heaven. I'm positive there is some sort of an attraction between the two of us. But don't tell anyone I said that. Lee Sangyeon is hopelessly attractive and I couldn't help myself to have developed a crush on him. If it wasn't for his shady career choice, I would have hooked up with him in an instant.

“How many times do I have to tell you Kevin? I want nothing to do with him,” I cry while Kevin snickers.

“He's not even that bad, he only hurts people who have wronged him” Kevin explains.”But never mind about him, Jacob really wants to meet you and you said you’re free Friday so please, please pl-”

“Fine oh my god.” I huff while Kevin claps, pleased with himself. “One problem, I have nothing to wear.”

“Not to worry about that sweetheart, I got that covered. Just text me your measurements.” Kevin says. I was going to try to argue with him but I knew he would win no matter what, so I just shot him a thumbs up.

“Anyways babes I gotta go to class now. See ya y/n!” Kevin grins, blew me an air kiss which I caught with a small smile, and walked out of the cafe.

I sigh and put the cleaning supplies away. As I went to greet a customer, all I could think was - it's just a ball, with your best friend and his boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?

~

On Thursday night, as I was getting ready to make dinner, there was a knock on my apartment door. I went to answer it, but found no one there when I opened it. Instead, a white box with a small bag on top, both had my name on it. “Oh yes.” I thought to myself. “The criminal ball.”

I grabbed both items and brought them to my room to open them. I unsecure the first box to be greeted to white tissue paper and a note on top, which I pick up and read the writing.

“This colour will look ravishing on you. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

Or at least that's what I thought it said. It was written in a script that I had never seen before, and it certainly wasn't Kevin’s handwriting. Maybe Jacob’s? I put the note aside and unwrap the tissue paper to take out the dress and my jaw drops. I pull out a ball gown that was wine red and had a lace strapless top with a semi-poofy skirt attached. Below it were gold open toed high heels. I laid everything down on my bed and reached for the small bag that was on top. Without checking first, I pull out what was in that bag and gasp. In my hands is a beautiful gold mask with black silk fabric to wrap around my eyes. Fuck. Kevin never mentioned it being a masquerade ball? Now I have a higher chance of running into Lee Sangyeon since I probably won’t be able to tell who's who.

I send Kevin a quick text saying thank you for the dress, cursing him out for not telling me that piece of info. To finish my day, I made my dinner and went to bed early.

~

Friday night at 6:45pm, found me applying my last coat of lipstick as I stood up from my vanity chair. Staring back at me in the mirror was a completely different person. I loosely curled my long straight hair so it was falling down my back in waves. My makeup was not too heavy, yet not too light. My eyeshadow was a nude colour to contrast with my mask, as well as my lipstick was wine red to match my gown. The dress and shoes fit me perfectly (thanks Kevin), as well as the finishing touch, the gold mask.

My phone beeps and I looked down to see a text that the car Kevin sent for me was here, so I grabbed my phone and clutch and locked up my apartment. “Goodbye bed, I’ll see you later tonight.” I thought to myself, smirking.

The car waiting for me downstairs was gorgeous and sleek, and when I entered the back seat, the driver tipped his hat at me and we were on our way.

After driving 20 mins out of the city, the driver turns onto a single sided road where in the distance, I could see a huge house with bright lights shining.

“Oh my god.” I whispered to myself as the driver pulled up to a mansion - no - castle with a staircase leading to the entrance. The car stops and I could feel myself start to get nauseous. The driver came to open my door, lending me a hand so I could get out of the car safely.

“Have a great evening, Miss y/n.”

“Thank you, I do hope so.” I smile softly as I turned to walk up the staircase on this warm June evening.

As I was walking in the big hallway that led to what I'm guessing is the ballroom, I went over my rules for tonight. 1) Don't trip 2) stay with Kevin 3) avoid Sangyeon at all costs.

But of course, when the guards opened the big double doors for me to enter, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me as I walked further into the room. I see someone come forward from the crowd of people and my eyes go wide because I know it is not Kevin or Jacob.

Lee Sangyeon is walking towards me like he had been waiting for this moment, and there was nothing I could do about it.

He looks amazing of course, like a walking marble statue that came to life. His light brown hair was pushed back to reveal his amazing eyebrows and smirking lips and he was dressed in a black velvet suit that was so low cut that I could see a glimpse of his defined pecs. He wore a black velvet mask over his brown eyes. Sangyeon had me very much weak at the knees right now so thank god everyone went back to minding their own business.

“Y/n! I'm so glad you could make it.” He smiles at me. That goddamn smile. “You look exquisite.” Sangyeon said to me as he reached down, grabs my hand and softly kisses it while staring at me.

My breath hitches. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” I softly smile at him. “Now excuse me,” I whisper, attempting to create some distance. But his hand on mine got tighter.  “May I have this dance?” Sangyeon asks. I nod my head, not sure what took over me. He softly smiles at me and leads me toward the dance floor, where other couples are dancing already. As we were nearing the dance floor, I felt myself trip over my gown. Before I could faceplant with the floor, rough hands were on my waist pulling me up.

“Be careful y/n.” Sangyeon chuckles and I thought I would throw up on his designer shoes.

He puts my hands on his neck and grabs my waist to pull me close to him. Sangyeon starts to sway me back and forth, eyes never leaving mine. As we danced for a few minutes, I felt his thumb lightly brush against my hip bone and I saw him slightly leaning his face towards mine. I finally jumped out of the trance he put me in and unwrapped my arms from his neck.

“I can’t do this. Excuse me.” I told Sangyeon as I brushed past him, leaving him on the dancefloor alone.

I speed walk over to the bar and spot a familiar black head of curls standing with a brunette boy wearing a similar tux.

“Where have you been, asshole?” I yell behind Kevin, making him jump and then smile at me.

“Hey y/n you made it! Meet Jacob, my boyfriend.” He gestures towards the man next to him wearing the same mask.

“Nice to meet you, Jacob. Kev, I'm getting a drink and then calling a cab to leave. I can’t be here.” I say while looking around.

Before Kevin could say anything back, I turned my back to him and ordered red wine from the nearest bartender. I sigh and drink my wine and look over at the guy who is standing next to me.

“Rough night?’ He smiles at me.

“You could say that.” I smile back as I drank more of my wine.

He chuckles and extends his hand to me.”I’m Bang Chan.”

“Y/n.” I shake his hand back.

His smile faded once I said my name.”You’re Lee’s girl?”

I stare wide eyed at him. “I'm who's girl??”

Before he could answer me, a body was standing between us. Sangyeon.

“Piss off Bang, she's mine.” Sangyeon growls at him.

“Excuse me?” I said but no one seems to hear me.

“Chill out Lee, I was just getting to know her, but I’ll leave.” Bang Chan waves bye to me behind Sangyeon’s back and walks away.

Sangyeon turned around and looked at me, his defined jaw clenching tightly.

“Y/n, we are leaving.” He states.

“I am not going anywhere with you!” I yell back while a muscle in his jaw twitches as he clenches  his hands into a fist.

“Y/n. I suggest you go with him before he tries to shoot someone, because he will.” Kevin appears and says behind me, squeezing my shoulder. I just nod my head at Sangyeon. Kevin would never put me in danger. Right?

Before I could even say bye, Sangyeon grabs my hand and is leading me out the ballroom door, out of the castle and towards his car.

He opens the passenger seat car door for me. “Get in.” He says to me. I glare at him as I get in slowly.

Sangyeon shuts the door and walks over to the driver side, gets in, takes his mask off, and starts the car without even saying anything. And we are off to god knows where.

The entire drive was silent. Sangyeon is gripping the wheel tightly, rough fingers scattered with rings turning white. I'm too scared to move, only moving my hands to remove my mask and my heels that were starting to hurt my feet.

20 minutes later, we are back in the city and Sangyeon is pulling into a parking garage surrounded by guards. He pulls into a parking spot, and leaves the car after stopping it. I open the car door to follow him, barefoot and all.

In the elevator I kept trying to glance over at Sangyeon, but he’s looking straight ahead, defined jaw still clenched. The elevator door opens and I gasp. I walk out behind Sangyeon to see a beautiful penthouse common area surrounded by glass windows overlooking the city night sky.

Before I could even admire the place and the city lights that surrounded the room, my back is being pushed against a hard wall to face a livid Sangyeon. He grabs  my wrists and leans in.

“How dare you talk to other men, especially him.” Sangyeon growls in my ear. “You’re mine.”

I stare at him in disbelief as he faces me again. “I-I will never be yours. You can't tell me what to do.”

A smirk slowly appears on his face. “Oh yeah? We will see about that, princess.”

Before I could even think of a witty response back, Sangyeon grabbed my face and his lips were on mine, and I felt my tough interior crumble as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him even closer, bodies touching.

He kisses me again. And again. Like he is possessing me. And it was working as I kissed him back hard. “You are mine” Sangyeon whispers against my lips. “No one else’s.” Sangyeon starts kissing down my neck, lightly sucking on certain parts, while I’m biting my lip trying to hold back my moans. It felt so goddamn good, but I'm stubborn and didn't want him to have the upper hand. Sangyeon sucks hard on the crook of my neck, making me release my lips and moan as I feel him smirk against my neck. He won, I lost and now I am melting into his touch.

Sangyeon kisses my shoulders and exposed collarbones, stops and chuckles into the crook of my neck.

“You know I picked this dress for you. Not Kevin.” he says while unzipping my gown.

“What?” I whisper, shocked.

“You heard me.” Then my dress is on the ground, leaving me in just my black strapless bra and panties.  Sangyeon is staring at my body with lust covered eyes as I just stare back at him, both of us breathing heavily, a boner starting to appear in his velvet suit pants.

“Wow, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He says quickly before kissing me again hard on the lips, shoving each other's tongues deep inside our mouths.

“Jump” He mumbles against my mouth and I obey, wrapping my legs around him as he carries me to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

When we enter his room, he lays me down softly on the huge mattress and proceeds to take my bra off, leaving me topless.

“God, these tits.” I hear him growl as I hiss at the cold air hitting my bare breasts, but the hissing quickly turns into moans as Sangyeon takes my right nipple into his mouth and sucks on it while playing with the other one using his hand.

“Fuck.” I moan loudly, mouth parting.

After rotating, sucking and playing with my breasts, Sangyeon removes his mouth from my nipple and starts to kiss down my stomach, inching towards my panties.

“You're such a good girl for me.” He coos on my stomach as I moan and squirm. Sangyeon brushes his fingers lightly against the fabric of my panties and looks up at me and mouths “you sure?” I nod my head back. He smiles before removing my panties with his teeth. I am now bare naked in front of a fully clothed Lee Sangyeon.

Sangyeon positions himself right in front of my pussy and spreads my legs open as I gasp and watch him lean down. He kisses and sucks on both my thighs, guaranteeing hickeys in those spots later on.

“You’re so fucking ethereal, Y/n.” Sangyeon mumbles and kisses the tops of my thighs softly, and before I could even think, his mouth was on my clit and I scream.

“FUCK Sangyeon oh my god!” I arch my back and moan loud as he licks into my clit.

“So wet me for me already.” He murmurs against my pussy.

He starts to suck and kiss my clit and I can’t breathe. I could feel his tongue exploring my entire pussy, eating it up as if it was his favorite food. My hands found his soft light brown hair and as I ran my hands through it, he sucked on my clit even harder. After for what seemed like seconds, Sangyeon comes up for air and proceeds to put a finger slowly in my hole, pumping in and out.

“You tasted so good, I can’t wait to see how you take my fingers and then my cock.” Sangyeon rasps out as he adds another finger as I'm a moaning mess below him.

“FUCK! Im gonna-” “Cum for me babygirl.” He says while pumping his fingers faster. I arch my back and scream his name while I cum onto his rough digits. He removes them from my pussy and sucks on the juices that got on them.

“Tastes so sweet.” He says while licking his fingers clean and staring directly at my hooded eyes and parted mouth.

Before I can even catch my breath, his lips are on mine quickly, stands up from the bed and unbuttons his blazer, revealing his amazing toned upper body and taking off his pants and boxers, cock slapping against his abs. He was huge, I gulp knowing that that's going to be inside me soon.

“I'm on the pill!” I hear myself blurt out. Sangyeon chuckles at that.

“Good to know y/n.” He says with a smile while running a hand through his hair before positioning himself over my body, hands on each side of me and aligning his cock with my hole.

“This is gonna hurt.” I thought to myself, since the last time I had sex was high school and it was awful to say the least.

Sangyeon starts to slide his dick in slowly and I can’t breathe again.

“Fuck. You're such a tight baby girl.” He rasps out as I let out a string of curses.

Sangyon thrusts into me slowly at first, but when he realizes i'm no longer screaming and just moaning, he removes his cock and slams it back into me hard and fast, which makes me lose my mind. He swears under his breath a few times before he speeds up the movements. I wrap my arms and legs around him, leaving scratches on his back as he leans closer to me and touches his forehead with mine.

“You're so beautiful sprawled out like this under me princess.” he growls into my ear as he thrusts even harder into my pussy, making both of us swear and moan each other's names as I move my hands from his back to his hair and he moves his to play with my nipples.

Between Sangyeon pinching my nipples and his cock tearing me open, the pleasure flowing through right now is something I have never felt before.

“Shit y/n!” Sangyeon grunts and thrusts hard once more into my pussy and pulls his dick out and uses his right hand to pump out his orgasm all over my stomach. His other hand reaches down to rub my clit in circles while kissing my neck and leaving more hickeys to help ride out my second orgasm of the night.

“Fuck Sangyeon!” I scream as I release all over his fingers once again. He licks it up again and mumbles “so sweet princess.” while looking at my dilated pupils.

He gets off me and rolls over so that he's beside my overstimulated body but head is tilted towards my direction.

“Are you okay?” Sangyeon asks me, concerned eyes looking over my shaking body that's struggling to even look at where he is.

“I'm amazing.” I respond back softly, him sighing in relief as he strokes my cheek with his knuckle.

“I've wanted to do this for so long.” He whispers and smiles softly at me.

“Me too.” I whisper back smiling as he kisses my lips softly and jumps out of bed, and runs into the connected bathroom fully naked leaving me alone in his huge bed, body paralyzed.

Sangyeon returns with a washcloth and a bowl of warm water and moves my shaking body so I'm lying on his leg while he dips the cloth in the water and starts to clean me up.

“You did so well for me. You were so beautiful when you came. So beautiful for me.” He murmurs to me fondly, rubbing the cloth over my body tenderly as I'm falling in and out of slumber. As I fall asleep, Sangyeon gets into bed next to me and tucks us both in. He kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around my waist and I rest my head on his chest.

“What a night.” I think to myself before dozing off in Sangyeons strong arms, moonlight shining through the huge windows.

Tomorrow is a new day, where we decide what happens next. But one thing's for sure.

I am addicted to Lee Sangyeon.

~

Light shines through the windows as I open my eyes to an unfamiliar surrounding, and then it hits me. I had mindblowing sex with Lee Sangyeon and now I am lying naked, tangled in his bedsheets. I feel an arm loosely draped around my bare waist. As I sigh and glance over next to me, I find Sangyeon lying on his side, staring at me with fond eyes.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispers to me in his deep morning voice. Swoon.

“Good morning, handsome.” I whisper back to him with a smile on my face.

I untangle myself from his arm, and attach my lips softly to his. Sangyeon does not react at first, but proceeds to kiss me back softly and full of tenderness as he cups my face into his hands. I break the kiss and lay my head on his bare chest.

“Last night was amazing.” Sangyeon murmurs into my hair and kisses my temple as I nod back.

Oh fuck, I just remembered. I sat up and faced the man with wide eyes.

“What's wrong baby?” Sangyeon asks, genuinely concerned.

“Fuck, what do I tell Kevin?” I gape at him.

Sangyeon chuckles loudly, eyes crinkling as he grabs my waist and pulls me down towards him. He tickles me, making me laugh.

After lying in bed for what seemed like hours and just talking, Sangyeon reaches over to the night table next to him. He grabs his phone and starts to furiously type as I just stare at his fingers flying across the screen.

“I told Jacob he is in charge over at the house this weekend, which means I get to spend it all with you.” He says as he puts his phone back down. Apparently, now I was spending the weekend at Sangyeon’s luxury penthouse. Good thing I didn’t have work this weekend.

After taking a shower in Sangyeon’s massive ensuite bathroom (and looking at myself in the mirror, in shock at the sight of my hickeys across my body), I changed into the clothes he left me, which seems to be his boxers and a blue and pink pullover sweater. I walk out of the bedroom towards the kitchen to find a very shirtless Sangyeon putting waffles on the island counter. He briefly explained to me earlier that he sent all his staff home, including his cooks, so it could just be us in the penthouse.

“Wow, waffles? You really know the way to a girl's heart.” I say amused as I take a seat on one of the island chairs.

He laughs loud and leans over the island, arms resting on the counter. “It's one of the only things I know how to make, so expect take out the rest of the weekend.” Sangyeon says with a smile on his beautiful face as I wolfed down the waffles in front of me.

“One day I’ll teach you how to cook.” I wink at him.

Sangyeon grabs my hand softly and rubs his thumb over my knuckles and kisses them softly. “I would love that, y/n.” He says with a smile on his face.

The rest of the day is spent just relaxing. Sangyeon shows me around his penthouse, from his impressive indoor gym to his walk in closet in which he implies that will once be mine as well. I ignore his comment. Afterwards, he shows me the tv room where a massive flat screen was attached to the wall and asks me to pick a movie, which I pick The Notebook.

“Really y/n?” Sangyeon rolls his eyes as he sets the movie up.

“Yes Sangyeon really. Now come sit here and enjoy.” I respond as I pat the spot on the leather couch next to me.

After the movie, and laughing at an almost crying Sangyeon, I go to retrieve my phone from my clutch to find 15 missed calls from Kevin.

“Oh good! He didn't kill you!” Kevin cries in my ear after picking up after the first ring.

“Yes Kev, I'm totally fine.” I respond quietly.

“Did you guys fuck?” Kevin asks and when I don’t respond, he screams into the phone, which makes me cringe and move the device away from my ear.

“OMG I KNEW IT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING! WAS HIS DICK AS BIG AS JACOB AND I THOUGHT?” He yells into the phone as I softly chuckle and proceeds to tell everything to a panicking Kevin.

“Holy shit. I owe Eric $50.” Kevin sighs into the phone after I explained everything to him.

“You were betting on me? Anyways I don't even wanna know.” I say annoyed.

“Are you guys like a thing now?” He asks me.

“I'm not entirely sure.” I reply unsure.

“Well no matter what, I support you sweetcheeks.” Kevin assures.

I snort. “Thanks Kev, right back at you. Gotta go now eat dinner, I'll update you later.”

Kevin laughs. “Enjoy Sangyeons big d-” I hung up on him.

That night found Sangyeon and I, fully clothed, cuddled in bed and holding each other, just listening to each other's heartbeat and making small talk.

“Sangyeon, how did you become the leader of TBZ?” I asked, looking up at him from where my head was on his chest.

He sighs and looks straight ahead. “For generations, a Lee has always led the gang, no matter what. It was between my cousins and myself, but my elders picked me, as my dad was the former leader before he passed and I've always been a leader, even since I was a young boy,” Sangyeon replies.

“I’m so sorry.” I say to him. He smiles softly and kisses my cheek.

“Don’t worry about me princess. Tell me, what are you studying?” He asks me.

“I'm studying childhood studies and english lit  so after I graduate I can enroll in a teachers college. I wanna be an elementary school teacher.” I answer him proudly.

Sangyeon smiles at me fondly. “You will be an amazing teacher.” He says while stroking my face with his hands. He kisses me softly as I melt into his touch.

After not being so sure about Sangyeon, I have come to realize how amazing he is. I can feel myself starting to like him more and more each day.

I am his and he is mine and in the end, it's him and I.

~

Months pass, and Sangyeon and I can’t get enough of each other. Everyday when I finish my shift at work, he picks me up and we either go to his place or mine to have dinner. Last week I even taught him how to boil pasta! But, sometimes we don’t even make it to dinner because I end up riding him in the back of his luxury car. Whoops.

One day while we were lying in bed after having sex, I sat up.

“Wait Sangyeon, what are we?” I asked him, facing where he was lying on his back.

Sangyeon sat up next to me.  “Well y/n, I'm extremely fond of you and think you are the most intelligent and beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, and I wish to give you nothing but happiness and satisfaction. I would love nothing more than for you to be my girlfriend,” He says to me, a glimmer in his eyes.

I stare at him, shocked because no one has ever said anything like this to me, and then I felt myself smile at him as I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

“Yes Lee Sangyeon, I will be your girlfriend. I will be yours.”

He smiles wide back at me. “Then you are all mine.” He whispers back as he connects his lips with mine for a passionate kiss.

Kevin thinks it’s hilarious that I wear more turtlenecks more often, which always makes me turn beet red. Because when Sangyeon and I have sex, he doesn’t just bite, he chews on my body like a fucking dog (“Doesnt it feel so good though?” “Kevin I swear to god.”) I have also gotten to meet Sangyeon’s entire gang, made up of 11 men including himself, and watching Sangyeon speak to them so confidently and leader-like makes my heart flutter. Yeah, I definitely think I’ve fallen in love with Lee Sangyeon.

A rainy Thursday afternoon found me finishing up my shift at work, getting ready to close the cafe as the only employee left. Sangyeon had texted me earlier saying he couldn't pick me up today due to an important meeting, so I was stuck walking home alone. Which was fine with me since my apartment was only a ten minute walk from the cafe.

As I was locking up the cafe doors, I heard a car engine behind me. I turned around smiling, expecting to see Sangyeon, but my smile faded, when the window opened and Bang Chan was in the passenger seat, pointing a gun at me.

“Y/n. Get in the car right now so no one gets hurt.” He commands me in a monotone voice.

“Never.” I sneer back at him and start to back away from the car.

“Fine. Guess we are doing this the hard way.” He replies.

Before I could sprint away, someone appeared behind me, put a cloth to my mouth and grabbed my waist. As the world around me went black, all I could think was, “Lee Sangyeon is going to murder you for stealing his girl.”

Blood. Blood is dripping from a gash in my forehead when I regain consciousness. I look around frantically to find myself in what looked like an abandoned warehouse with my hands and legs tied together with heavy rope.

“Help!” I scream loudly, but that did not do anything for my situation. Instead, Bang Chan enters with another man holding a rifle and I feel another scream forming in my throat. The rope tied around my hands and legs were digging into my flesh and I could feel blood emerging from them.

“Ah y/n! Lee’s playtoy! Glad to see you awake!” Bang Chan claps and smiles at me wickedly while I just glare back.

“TBZ knows you're with us sweetheart.” He says. “We told them it's either you or the money.”

My mouth opens and then closes. “What money? I swear I don't know anything, he never tells me about his work,” I cry to him.

“LIES!” Bang Chan screams. “Han. Go get her.” The other man - Han - walks over to me, ignites the rifle and puts it against my head hard. I start to cry even harder and squirm in my spot even though I feel the rope burning getting worse.

“We are going to try this again y/n. Where is the money?” Bang Chan yells into my face. I spat at him and Han forced the gun to my already bleeding forehead harder.

“I'm done. Shoot her.” Bang Chan shouts.

“No, please don't shoot!” I cry, knowing nothing will make a difference.

As I felt Han press down on the trigger, I stop thrashing and sat still. At this point, there was nothing I could do to stop this myself.

Lee Sangyeon, don't forget about me.

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HER!” A familiar voice yells behind Bang Chan.

I wail loud with my last bit of strength I had.  “Help m-” BOOM!

Around me, I see the building collapse, rubble hitting my head as it knocks me over. Gunshots were loud and clear although my ears were ringing loud.

The last thing I remember before blacking out again were strong arms pulling me out of rubble.

Beeping. White ceiling. That is what I see and hear when I finally regain consciousness again. Looking around the plain room, I can see that I’m in a hospital bed. There is a bandage on my head and I can feel both my wrists and feet bandaged tightly, as well as an IV in my right arm. I move my head to the right slowly to the hallway window and see guards are positioned outside the hospital room. “Anything for Lee Sangyeon’s girl.” I think to myself and chuckle.

Wait. Sangyeon. Where is he? Is he alive?

“Hey sweet cheeks.” I hear a voice from the other side of the room. I slowly turn my head to see Kevin standing up from the couch that is in front of my bed and smiling at me.

“I'm glad you're okay. You woke up earlier than the doctors thought. You don’t have to worry about the Stray Kids gang anymore. They all died in the explosion.” He explains to me.

I nod my head slowly.

“Sangyeon. Where is Sangyeon?” I rasp out to Kevin.

Kevin softly smirks and shakes his head at the ground. “He's okay, he was here a few minutes ago, he hasn’t left your side in days. I’ll go get him, he's just getting his bandages touched up. He got injured in the explosion while pulling you out of the rubble.” Kevin tells me as I feel tears in my eyes. He would’ve sacrificed himself to save my life.

After patting my head softly, Kevin left the room to get Sangyeon, leaving me alone crying softly.

“Y/n.” I gasp and sit up and look towards the door, where the love of my life, Lee Sangyeon is standing with white bandages on his left arm and tears streaming down his scratched up, but beautiful face. Seeing him standing in front of me, makes me cry even harder. Without saying anything, I rip the IV out of my arm, slide out of the bed and jump into Sangyeons arms, and engulf him in a hug, which he gladly returns.

“I thought I lost you.” I cry into his shoulder as he sits down on the bed with me on his lap. I move my head to stare into his beautiful eyes, that still have his usual shimmer, even after all that has happened. “You'll never lose me.” He whispers fondly as he cups my face in his hands and wipes away my tears softly with his right thumb.

Sangyeon held me like I was a broken doll, fragile but sweet. He whispered sorry to me over and over again, which I quickly shushed and ran a bandaged hand through his soft brown hair.

“I love you so much.” I say to him, grabbing his neck softly and pulling him towards me.

“I love you more princess.” He says while smiling wide at me, which made me smile back at him as we connected foreheads.

~

“God Sangyeon. Go take a shower you stink.” I say to him as we enter his penthouse after being in the hospital for days, which ended with the doctor clearing both of us. I got the bandages on my head, hands, and feet, and he got his bandages removed.

“And you don’t smell y/n?” He smirks at me as I scoff. “Shower with me.” He says, eyes darkening as my breath hitches.

“Okay.��� I nod, and we are on our way to his huge ensuite bathroom.

We both strip out of our dirty clothes and get into the massive glass shower, me going in first with Sangyeon following.

I watch him pump the liquid from the shampoo bottle into his hands, and lather the shampoo into my hair as he stands behind me.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Y/n” Sangyeon tells me as I lean my back into his chest. His hands lightly trace my body, lingering on my lower stomach and my breasts. I could feel his erection growing, and being the little greedy bitch I am, I grind down on it slowly. All of a sudden, he turns me around and attaches his lips to mine hard, and we are both caught in a rough make out session. He breaks the kiss and stares at me with lust clouded eyes.

“Are you gonna take care of this princess?” Sangyeon asks me while his eyes are motioning to his cock.

“Yes Sir.” I reply, not sure where that came from, as he pushes my shoulders down lightly and I feel myself fall to my knees.

Without thinking, I grab his hard cock with my hands and pump it a few times.I licked the slit tasting the precum that had come out, before sinking my mouth down his shaft softly, making him swear under his breath.

“Fuck you’re such a good girl. You suck my cock so well.” He hisses while grabbing my hair and guiding my head back and forth while I lap up his precum. He guides my head so that I swallow his cock and I gag on it a bit, which makes him growl loudly. My watering eyes glanced up at Sangyeon to see his head tilted back, mouth open partially.

“Fuck y/n I’m gonna cum. Gonna dirty up that hot mouth of yours.” Sangyeon rasps out as I feel his hot cum go down my throat as he rides out his orgasm. I release myself from his dripping cock and swallow the cum that had landed in my mouth.

“Fuck y/n. Princess. You're so good at that.” He cooes at me while helping me stand up and kisses me quickly and firmly on the mouth.

“Do I get something for being good, Sir?” I ask him while batting my eyes together, trying to pout as much as I could.

“That depends, what do you want? You want me to fuck you in this shower until you can't walk” He asks me loudly.

“God yes!” I answer him. Sangyeon picks me up like I weigh nothing as I wrap my legs and arms around his broad body.

“FUCK!” I scream as Sangyeon slams his cock into my pussy without any warning.

“You’re so fucking tight, shit.” Sangyeon curses under his breath.

I moan like crazy as Sangyeon fucks me hard, every thrust hitting my g-spot.

“You feel so good y/n. Your tight pussy feels amazing around my cock.” He rasps out before sucking on my jaw, making me arch my back and moan. I could feel my orgasm coming already. Sangyeon is a sex god and he knew how to have me cumming within seconds.

“I'm gonna cum in you, y/n, ok? I want you to feel my hot cum inside of you.” He growls in my ear as I loudly moan. I couldn't even answer him, I just nodded my head while leaving scratches on his back.

“FUCK!” We both scream and cum at the same time, I shudder feeling Sangyeons hot load entering my pussy. He drops his head onto my shoulder, whispering praise in my ear as I'm shaking in his arms. Both of us panting and sweating, even underneath the water. When he pulls his cock out, his cum and my cum is dripping fast out of my pussy. Sangyeon puts me down but I start to fall over, so he catches me and starts to snicker.

“Well I guess we have to take a real shower now and clean ourselves up.” He says amusingly as I roll my eyes and smack his chest as he laughs.

~

June 2021, I finally graduate college! As my name is being called, shouts and cheers come from the audience as I look and see the entire TBZ gang jumping up and down. My smile grows even bigger when I'm shaking the headmaster's hand and see Sangyeon, my boyfriend of one year, in the audience holding a bouquet of red roses with a huge proud smile on his face. After enrolling in teacher’s college and officially moving in with Sangyeon, Kevin announces to everyone over a gang family dinner that he and Jacob are getting married, and that I'm his best person, which makes the whole gang erupt in chaos. Sangyeon has to calm everyone down, and congratulates the happy couple fondly, knowing that everyone will be as supportive when he finally asks his best girl to marry him.

Two months later I found myself at the MoonBae wedding. During the reception, Kevin calls all the non-married men and women to the dance floor so he can throw the bouquet. What shocks everyone the most is when I catch it, making Kevin and Jacob both scream and tackle me in a hug. Sangyeon chokes on his glass of scotch and turns purple watching the whole event unfold.

Sangyeon proposes to me one quiet night four months after Kevin and Jacob’s wedding as we are both drinking wine and watching the sunset on his penthouse balcony.

“Y/n, You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.” He says to me with tears in eyes as he gets down on one knee. “Will you marry me?” Sangyeon asks.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you. ” I answer him crying.

Sangyeon smiles wide at me and picks me up and spins me around before kissing me passionately.

“I love you so much y/n l/n.”

“I love you more Lee Sangyeon.”

“You’re mine forever.”

“And I'm yours.”

well i hope you enjoyed! sorry if it was bad or rushed again it was my first time hehe

stream breaking dawn and support tbz on kingdom :D

[manggaetteokkie]

Okay so I was rewatching the 2020 FESTA (as one does) and for some reason, when I got to the rainy day incident, I felt like I was really seeing the whole incident for what it’s worth for the first time?

Make no mistake, it’s far from my first time rewatching it (that scene in particular, lord knows how many times I repeated it just to watch all their reactions), but I felt like it was the first time I really took the time to understand it.

I mean, think about it: 4-5 years ago, Jimin and Jeongguk had a huge fight that got Jimin angry. So angry in fact, he told Jeongguk something along the lines of “I won’t bother with you anymore”. If you put the fact that it’s just a story about the past aside, their fight was apparently so bad, it got Jimin of all people pissed enough to throw those kind of words out before turning around and leaving. Mad enough to leave and walk home alone despite the rain and, for all we know, he might not even have had an umbrella with him.

So what happens next? Some time during his walk back, Jimin gets a phone call from Jeongguk. And the first thing he says?

“Hyung, I was wrong”

From Jimin’s estimation, the walk between the dorms and the practice rooms takes about 20 mins. That means that after Jimin left, Jeongguk was left alone in the practice rooms to wallow in his thoughts. And apparently, he felt so bad about the fight he couldn’t wait till he got back to the dorms to apologize (he clearly felt bad enough if he’s still thinking about it even 4-5 years after it happened).

No, he had to give Jimin a call less than 20 mins after he left. That’s barely enough time to calm down and think things through? I mean, he clearly hadn’t calmed down if he was still crying when he called. And according to Jimin, Jeongguk cried a shitton that day. We’re talking about the maknae that straight up yeeted the tears out of his eyes during the 2018 MAMA speech. Can you even imagine what must’ve happened?

Moving on, Jimin gets that phone call, hears Jeongguk’s apology and although he’s mad enough to spit out a “I told you not to contact me, right?”, he nonetheless asks Jeongguk where he is. Now here’s the thing that actually made me go “oh shit”...

When asked about his whereabouts, Jeongguk replies with a “I don’t know”.

Excuse me?

What?

Do you understand what that means? The implications?

If not, it’s okay, I’ll spell it out for you: if JK had stayed in the practice rooms, how could he not have known where he was? Even the area near the practice rooms should have been somewhat familiar to him, so how on earth could he not have known where he was? There’s only one answer that I can think of (y’all are welcome to share your thoughts on this): soon after JM left, instead of staying in the practice rooms, JK likely ran after JM, but he got lost instead since he couldn’t have known where JM was headed. So he was literally running around in the rain, trying to find JM only to give up after a few minutes and call instead.

Jin was right, this is definitely straight out of a drama. “Two people have an explosive fight that leads to one of them leaving in a fit of anger. It’s raining. Soon after their departure, the other quickly runs after them, but not knowing where they went, they run around randomly in the hopes of finding them. When they can’t, they can only call.” The script writes itself.

We all know what happens next: JK flags a taxi, gives the driver JM’s location while JM waits for him in the rain. When JK gets off the cab, they have a very dramatic reunion. The end.

Or is it?

I personally have so many feels and questions about the whole situation. What was the fight about? How did it end? I mean, I can just imagine JK, soaked and completely miserable, sitting in that taxi, quietly sniffling as he does his damn best to stop the tears. But the second he sees JM waiting for him under the rain, it’s like a dam breaking. This isn’t even really a far fetched guess given what we’ve seen in the past...

I personally don’t really have any speculations about what the fight was about because 4-5 years ago is vague enough to make it near impossible to narrow it down, not to mention how it’s probably impossible to guess (take vmin mandu incident for example, no one saw that coming).

Please feel free to share your thoughts, I’m curious about what you guys think.

EDIT: just to add onto this, we also need a moment to think about how, despite being mad enough to storm off in the rain, JM was still ready to pick up JK’s call? I really think JM has a soft spot the size of the Milky Way for JK given how it seems like it took him less than one hour to let the whole incident go. I have no idea if he forgave JK right then and there but I mean, if I was really pissed at my friend, I don’t think I would have waited for them in the rain nor would I have hugged them when we met. I’d probs 1) ignore their call, and 2) tell them to leave me alone and go wherever they need to be.

[fandomsandwritings]

Distant

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GenderNeutral!Reader (if there are any mistakes feel free to message me!) 

Requested: No

Summary: You don't want to bother the team with something personal happening in you life so you begin to pull away from them until you can’t hide it anymore.

Word Count: 2,689

Warnings: a little angst but mostly fluff, literally just Hotch being super sweet and supportive and caring

A/N: This took me too long to finish but here we go! As always my requests are open! 

You’d been distancing yourself from the team more and more lately. At first it was just saying no to drinks or dinner every once and awhile to them having stopped asking you all together. You knew it was for the best though. You didn’t need them to pity you. The truth of the matter was that your mother was very sick, and you’d been taking her to as many appointments as you could or simply hanging out with her when you were home. It had been just you and her for a while now. Your father having passed some years ago. You’d always been a little stubborn and always insisted you could do things on your own. You didn’t need help or for others to feel sorry for you, so you distanced yourself from them and focused solely on helping your mother feel better.

This morning you’d gotten up early to go over to her place to check on her and bring her breakfast.

“Hi mom, I brought you food!” You announced as you walked in her house.

“We’re in here dear.” She yelled back from the living room. You walked in to see her sitting in her favorite chair as her nurse helped her with her medicine for the day. You’d decided to hire a nurse to come by daily to check on her when you’d come home from a case and saw that she’d forgotten to take her medications while you were gone. This allowed you some comfort when you had to leave knowing she’d have someone here daily to be with her or take her to her appointments.

“Hi Alice, how’re you?” You asked the nurse while sitting on the couch

“Doing good, your mother is arguing with me on how much she moves in a day. I’ve been telling her that she needs to wait for me to come over before coming down the stairs in the morning and also wait for me to come back by and help her in the evenings when you’re away.”

“I’m not that old, I think I can get up and down the stairs on my own.” Was her argument back.

“Alice is right mom, with how your joints are and the medication you’re on, you should really wait for her to help.” You spoke while you and Alice gave each other a look knowing she wasn’t going to listen.

“Whatever.” was your mother’s only response as your phone pinged with a message.

“I have to go to work now but I love you mom and listen to Alice!” you said as you stood and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

--

“Hey guys sorry I’m late.” You announced as you walked in and Penelope stood up to give the briefing. You guys were headed to a rural town in Nebraska where 3 unidentified bodies had shown up. As you all stood up to grab your bags and head to the plane JJ stopped you.

“You okay Y/N? You look tired.” She asked caringly but you also knew that she was being a little nosey since you too had been the closest before you made the decision to push them all away.

“Oh yeah I’m fine. Just had to wake up earlier today.” You answered as you walked out, not a lie but also not the whole truth.

--

You sat across from Hotch as you guys individually looked over the files after y’all decided who would do what after you all land.

“What did you have to do this morning?” He asked you suddenly

“Excuse me?” You asked kind of annoyed

“I heard you tell JJ that you had to wake up early for something and I was just curious as to what it was.” He spoke quietly and calmly, and you could tell how much he cared in his eyes. They were all worried about you, you could tell but you didn’t need to bother them with your problems, so you just blew off their intrusive questions.

“I just had some errands to run.”

“On the other side of town?” He questioned and you just gave him a confused look. “The coffee cup you had this morning is from a coffee shop that’s at least 20 min from your apartment with traffic at that time in the morning.”

“Don’t.” was your only response.

“Don’t what?” he asked a little confused.

“Don’t try to profile me Aaron.” He was honestly one of the hardest ones not to talk to about everything that was going on. All you wanted to do was confide in him about how you were feeling and have him tell you that it was going to be okay. But he was already so busy with running the team and raising Jack that you couldn’t add your problems to his life too.

“Ok. Just know that we all miss having you around more outside of working cases.”

You just sighed and you both went back to look at your cases.

--

It had taken you and the team 2 days to track down the killer and apprehend him. As you began to take the pictures down and put them into the boxes you phone began to ring. Your heart began to race when you saw that it was Alice calling. There was no one else in the conference room with you, so you subtly closed the door and you answered the call. You didn’t realize that Hotch had noticed the change in your demeanor as he watched you through the window and made his way over to the room.

“Alice what’s happened?” you question because it was late and there was no way that she was calling you with good news.

“I was running a little late tonight and I guess your mom got impatient and tried to go up the stairs by herself, but her leg gave out and she fell down the stairs. I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You felt the earth shift beneath you as you grabbed the back of a chair to steady yourself. You didn’t hear Hotch come into the room when you went to answer.

“Is she okay?” you asked as your voice broke a little.

“They’re not sure, we’re in the ambulance now on the way to the hospital. She was unconscious when I got there, and I don’t know how long it had been before I arrived.” She answered frantically.

“Okay, keep me updated with what they say. We just finished here so I’ll be flying back tonight so text me which hospital you are going to and I’ll meet you there after I land.” You spoke calmly as a single tear rolled down your face.

“Okay I will. I’m so sorry Y/N, I should have gotten there sooner but my other patient didn’t want to take her night meds so I had to- ”

“It’s okay Alice,” you began as you interrupted her and took a deep breath. “It’s not your fault. She’s stubborn and we’ve been fighting her on this for a while. All we can do now is wait and hope for good results.”

“Okay you’re right. I’ll text you any updates and I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Thank you.” Was the only responds you could give before hanging up and letting the tears fall.

“Y/N” you heard Hotch speak up behind you

“Oh, hey I’m just finishing up in here and we should be good to go soon.” You spoke trying to even out your tone and casually wipe the tears from your face before turning around. You didn’t know how long he’d been in the room but judging from the furrowed brow and the concern in his eyes you knew he’d at least heard some of your phone call.

“Please tell me what’s going on.” He spoke softly as he stepped closer to you.

“That was my mom’s nurse, she fell at home and they’re taking her to the hospital now.” You managed to get out.

“Nurse?” He asked clearly confused

You just shook your head “It’s a long story.” You said as the tears began to fall.

Hotch brought you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get you home and it’ll be okay.” he whispered into your ear as he gently rubbed his hands up and down your back.

The rest of the team watch this exchange through the open window, and you were met with curious looks as you walked out of the conference room with tear stained eyes. You knew you finally had to tell them.

--

“So basically, the last few months they’ve just been trying her on different medications to try and ease her pain but her fall tonight could be a big setback if she recovers from it.” You spoke quietly while the team sat around you on the plane. You sat next to Hotch and while you two weren’t explicitly touching his leg was pressing into yours and the warmth from him beside you was a comfort.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us that this was happening?” Derek questioned quietly.

You just let out a deep sigh, “I’ve always handled things on my own and I didn’t want to burden you guys with my family problems.” You stared at your hands instead of looking at any of the concerned faces around you.

“But you are a part of our family Y/N, we would have been there for you.” Rossi spoke up after a moment.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never been good at sharing.” You let out a strained laugh trying to lighten the mood, but everyone just remained quiet. “I didn’t mean to hurt you guys by pushing you away, I thought I was doing what was best.” More tears began to fall, and you hated being this vulnerable in front of everyone, but you didn’t have the energy to hide it anymore. These last few months had been really hard for you.

“What’s best is you not trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders when you have all of us here to help carry it for you.” JJ said while reaching across the table to grab your hand.

“Thank you” was all you could manage to say before the plane fell silent again, the emotions in the air too heavy.

“I think we should let Y/N get some sleep before we land.” Hotch spoke after a while and everyone dispersed to their respect spots on the plane to rest too.

Hotch began to stand up too but you reached for his hand.

“Please stay.” You spoke quietly as a soft smile spread on his face.

“I’ll be right back; I was just going to make you some tea.”

“Oh, thank you.” You felt a small blush on your cheeks as he walked away.

You were asleep before he got back.

--

You felt a small nudge and immediately opened your eyes. You were pulled into Hotch’s side with his arm around you and your head resting on his chest. You leaned your head back to see Hotch looking down at you.

“Hey, we’re landing soon.” he whispered to you before he went back to looking over other case files.

“Aaron?” you ask softly not wanting to break this intimate bubble you two had at the moment.

“Mhm?” was his only response

“Thank you” you moved your head back down and snuggled closer into his side. He just softly kissed the top of your head.

The plane landed shortly after that and you made your way to the hospital. Alice immediately made her way to you when you walked in.

“She’s still in surgery. She has a broken leg and some bleeding in her brain but from the last update they sounded hopeful.” She stated all in one breath and not meeting your eyes.

“Thank you, Alice, for staying but you should go home and get some rest now that I’m here.” You gave her a soft smile.

“Okay, text me any updates.” She said while gathering her things

“I will.” You answered softly but all you could think about were the words “bleeding” and “brain”.

You heard a soft “excuse me” come from her as she walked out of the small private waiting room, but you didn’t look up as she left.

“How is she?” you head a familiar male voice ask from behind you and you spun around.

“Aaron?” I guess you shouldn’t have been surprised but you guys had just gotten back from a long case and you were sure Hotch was dying to see Jack so you wouldn’t have even thought to ask him to go to the hospital with you instead of seeing his son.

“After everything we said on the plane you didn’t think we’d let you go through this alone right?” he spoke as he came closer to you.

“We?” was all you managed to say before the rest of the team came in, including Penelope.

“Seriously Y/N, we just talked about how we’re here for you.” Emily spoke as she came to your side.

“I know but we just got home and y’all are probably tired, so I didn’t want to ask any of you to stay here in a hospital for who knows how long.” A single tear rolled down your cheek because you felt so damn loved by these 7 people.

“We all got a little sleep on the plane and there’s nowhere else any of us would rather be right now.” JJ spoke from in front of you as the team had gathered into a circle in the middle of the waiting room.

“Any updates?” Spencer spoke up after a minute.

“Yes, Alice was here and said that she was in surgery. She broke her leg and I guess there was some ble-” your breath caught in your throat as you began to really digest the information, Hotch grabbed your hand and lightly squeezed it as you took a deep breath before continuing, “um some bleeding in her brain but I don’t know how recent that was.” You finished while trying to keep the tears that threaten to reappear from falling.

“I’m on it!” Garcia said while stepping away to go track down some poor nurse.

“I’m going to go with her, so she doesn’t get kicked out of the hospital.” Morgan said before following her out.

The room fell silent again as you looked up at Aaron, who was still holding your hand, and he used his other hand to brush some hair out of your face. The two of you just stood there looking into each other’s eyes before you heard Rossi clear his throat. You broke the eye contact and looked towards the floor with a blush. Your hand stayed firmly in his though.

“Emily and JJ do you think you could find some coffee for everyone?” They both nodded, looking at the two of you with soft smiles before leaving. “Reid and I will go find snacks.”

“I’d actually like to stay here to hear what the doctor says.” Reid responded, not understanding that Dave was actually trying to give the two of you some privacy. Dave just sighed.

“Then go find Garcia and learn what you can.” He said while lightly shoving him out of the room. After he got Spencer out, her turned in the doorway.

“I approve of this.” He said while winking and pointing between the two of you causing you to blush even harder and step away from Aaron.

You made your way to one of the two-person bench seats and Hotch sat beside you. He place his arm behind you and you snuggled into his side, still exhausted from the case and travel you closed your eyes and focused on the sound of Hotch’s heartbeat.

You both stayed there for several minutes and Aaron probably thought you had fallen asleep when he pressed a kiss to the top of your head and spoke so softly you weren’t actually sure he had spoken.

“I love you Y/N.”

[k0dzukwen]

ʚ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞 ɞ

- ”I would’ve never thought I would have to say goodbye to my paradise so soon...”

pairing: tendou x gn!reader

genre: angst, tragedy

word count: 1.7k

song inspo: mr. loverman by ricky montgomery mixed with as the world caves in by matt maltese

warnings: major character death, mentions of eating disorder, mild cussing, hospitals, 

pre a/n: if you wanna blame someone for this idea blame rex orange county, jjk newest ep, and my bestfriend ANKNKA ok but fr...i was thinking of who to do for this for about like..30 mins, it was between tendou, kita, and atsumu. i’ll try to do atsumu tonight because i have a AMAZING prompt for him ok? anyways enjoy this :))

“I can show you everything”

You wanted to be shown everything once, you were so eager to go everywhere and memorize every detail. And there was one person who you wanted to travel everywhere with

Satori Tendou

You were captivated by him, thoughts of him fogged your mind daily and you could barely focus. You knew he was the one for you that day you first started as a manager and he offered you candy, along with asking if you read manga. His smile when you said yes and accepted his snack made you melt on the inside, you practically started floating when he sat next to you and started talking about character complexes and powers. You listened to him for hours that day, you secretly wished he had invited you over so he could talk to you more. You went to sleep that night reminiscing over every word, every sentence, every laugh you both shared. 

Were you really that head over heels after one day?

As the days went by you and Tendou grew closer, becoming best friends within weeks. Yet the sparkle in your eyes when he smiled and laughed never faded, the warm feeling from being with him remained with you only growing stronger. You always fell too easily which left you vulnerable to getting hurt, yet with him you wanted to open yourself up completely hoping he would do the same. Months turned into years and before you knew it, You guys were graduating. Everything went by so fast you would believe you blinked and suddenly became a third year, now you were laying in the grass behind the dorms stargazing with your bestfriend who you had unironically fallen in love with. Have you told him how you felt? Nope

“Do you know what paradise is?”, Tendou stared up at the sky the slight light from the lights nearby illuminating his face and causing his eyes to sparkle

“Something or someone you find comfort in, Something you’re so addicted to just doing it or being around it brings you unimaginable joy. You can’t and won’t imagine ever leaving it or stopping it voluntarily” You sighed and looked over at him, gazing into his red eyes, “Why do you ask?”

He laughed and closed his eyes, breathing deeply “This is my paradise...I don’t think I’m ready to leave..” He opened his eyes and smiled, “But you know, This is a part of growing up right?”

“Ugh..” You huff and sit up, “What the hell is growing up anyways?”

Tendou sat up and shifted closer, leaning in so his nose could almost touch yours, “You aren’t old enough to understand”

Your face flushed a deep pink, he was so close to your face if you accidentally moved closer your lips would meet. You smiled at him and burst out laughing, laughing so hard you had to lay back down and hold your stomach. He laughed too, laying next to you and continuing to point out constellations like nothing had happened. What did he even mean “You aren’t old enough to understand”, he was only one year older than you so what did he mean?

Did you really want to know?

You never really understood the term “growing up”, deep down you wanted to stay a a kid forever. You knew that growing up brought unwanted pain and stress and even trauma, if you weren’t stressed with college enough you also had to deal with paying for bills on your studio apartment and making money from the cafe you worked at. And to make it all worse your best friend, the guy you were lovesick for was moving across the country to pursue his dreams

In Paris

You always asked why Paris, didn’t he want to go pro in volleyball? Wasn’t that his paradise? You knew you wanted the best for him but deep down you didn’t want the love of your life to move across the country, you knew you would both lose communication with eachother, you knew he would forget about you and you didn’t want to bear that pain. Yet he didn’t want to listen, he left to paris and exactly what you predicted happened. You started off calling him every day along with texting him, sending him pictures of what you did in everyday life. You didn’t have many friends so you often found yourself waiting for his reply, you knew his job was time consuming but impatience still got the best of you. Hours without a reply turned into days, the realization that you had lost your love ate at your soul. You found yourself skipping meals, and slacking off in school. You knew it was unhealthy and that you needed to stay strong but you couldn’t, his laugh and smile lingered in your dreams. You missed him dearly, but still couldn’t get the confidence to dial his number. One day you couldn’t take it and booked a flight out to Paris, you thought at the moment it would be the best option.

You never even left the hotel

You paced around the room, the TV playing in the background. You knew the chocolate shop he worked at and had a way of transportation but couldn’t bring yourself to go, what if he didn’t remember you? What if he had someone else? You tried to talk yourself up, motivating yourself to press the button

“God damn Y/N just-” You were cut off by a breaking news report, Your gaze switched from your hands to the TV. You squinted at the screen as it showed a report of a young male involved in a car collision, you didn’t even know what the instinct was but you ran out your hotel room down to the lobby, you busted through the entrance and started to run to the hospital the news report specified, tears welled up in your eyes as you ran praying that it was just a mistake. You prayed that the male in critical condition wasn’t who you thought it was, you stumbled and bumped into people as you ran saying a quick “I’m sorry” and keeping your pace. You arrived at the hospital and bust through the doors, running up to the desk

“Please miss, Who was the man involved in the car collision? The one in critical condition?” Tears pricked at your eyes as you stared at the woman in front of you expectantly

“Oh, at first we labeled him a John Doe but after further inspection we have confirmed the mans name is...Satori Tendou, We really shouldn’t give out this info but you seem like a family member or-”

The nurse continued on but you couldn’t hear, everything went silent as if you had just became deaf, Your knees felt weak and threatened to give out. It couldn’t be him, You shook your head and covered your ears despite the fact you couldn’t hear anything, everything started to swirl together like a fever dream. Thats right, it was just a dream, This wasn’t happening. You were gonna wake up from this crazy situation and go see your bestfriend, You were gonna finally see your best friend and he was going to be alive and healthy. Everything was going to be just fine, This was just a sick nightmare thats it

“Excuse me, this is his room. I’m sorry but he has about 20 mins left to live, he can hear but can’t move or respond to anything...I’m sorry”

The doctor patted your back and left the room, gently closing the door to avoid startling you. You hadn’t spoken a word since the news was given to you and of course, you didn’t take it well. You broke down completely, the nurses had to escort you to a room and try to calm you down

But even now you felt nothing but numbness

You stared at Tendous body blankly, gazing at all the tubes coming out of him, the beeping of the heart monitor and pumping of the life support machine kept the room from being completely silent. You felt tears well up into your eyes again and this time you didn’t fight them, you slowly walked towards his bed and gently touched his face. You could feel his face flinch and heard a wimper escape from his body, you let out a quiet sob and placed your hand over your mouth. You remembered how the doctor said he could hear you and feel everything

Feel Everything

He could probably feel the tubes and they were probably painful, He probably didn’t think that life was worth so much pain. 

“Tendou...” Your voice cracked and you sniffed, “I’m so sorry...I should have been there..for you” You sighed and sat down in a chair, leaning on the bed “Did I ever tell you about my paradise? Well unlike you...My paradise was a person, They were super funny and their smile could brighten anyones day” You smiled at the last part, unknowingly laying your head on the bed, “They had am amazing laugh too...It was so contagious I learned to memorize it, whenever I was around them...I felt like I was complete. I felt like I had a life worth living when they were around, I loved them..letting them go was the hardest thing, but at least they were safe and happy...” You started to choke up, tears streaming down your face, “You’re my paradise Tendou...I’m in love with you and I want to stay here forever if It means I’ll be with you”. You looked up at the monitor noticing how it was slowing down, You didn’t know much about medicine and medical things but you knew that wasn’t a good sign. You gently grabbed his cold hand and squeezed it, you blinked through tears and opened your mouth. You didn’t know what to say until the monitor started to rapidly beep, fear shot through your body causing your tears to flow faster and your body to shake. You broke your gaze from the monitor and looked at Tendou, his skin was pale and you could barely see his face through all the tubes

“I would have never thought...I would have to say goodbye to my paradise so soon. I love you Satori, I’m sorry I was too late” 

↳𝐞𝐧𝐝 

post a/n: currently sitting here crying, i’m not even attached to Tendou like that and i’m HURT why do i do these things to myself i’m sorry to whovever reads this </3

[justshekthings]

just for a moment - park jisung fanfic (part 1)

“Continuing to run you turn around with a huge smile across your face, locking eyes with the boy whos awestruck expression turns into a comforting smile. Somehow without even knowing each other's names you both felt as if you've managed to escape reality, like the two of you were the only people in the universe, a feeling so rare, a scene only in movies, an occurrence never forgotten and yet was just experienced by these two individuals, even if it was just for a moment.”

Park jisung  x reader 

Word Count: 8731

Reading time: 1h 7m

Italics = thoughts

“normal” = spoken 

*IMPORTANT PLEASE READ*

Authors note: Since this a fanfic, therefore fiction, there story is set in your last year in highschool with the rest of the dream members who are all the same age. The school year will also be following the korean academic year system, just for some realism. I also made up a few characters with a korean name generator so please don’t overthink! I will also be releasing this story 4 chapters at a time with 3 parts in total, making a total of 12 chapters #quickmaths. Apologies in advance if my uploads are slow or my grammar is awful. Make sure to like and comment any suggestions or thoughts, but try to be kind, it’s my first time writing a fanfic. 

Enjoy reading~

March: March, although somewhat an afterthought or rather a shadow of winter, left with only it’s remains, it sets the groundwork for the rest of the year. March plants seeds that grow from mere sprouts to full grown plants during the course of the year. 

It’s early March, the month when the snow starts to thaw in preparation of the well anticipated season of spring. The feel of the winter air has managed to remain in Seoul, resented by the thousands of students forced to return back to school for the first semester. One of those poor unfortunate souls is you, y/n l/n, an 18 year old girl and you’ve come back to start and, hopefully, finish your senior year at Seoul Highschool. Although what does seem to make your experience there a little more bearable are your two friends Seo Kyung-Hu and Hu Mee-yon, while those two have been friends since primary school, you only met them in Middle school when you first transferred and they being the only nice enough kids willing to approach you, the three of you clicked instantly and ever since your trio have stayed a complete set.

Unlike your two friends, you could care less about school purposefully staying up late in hopes of sleeping through your alarm and having a valid excuse to miss the first day of school. And your plan worked… to some extent. Your mother on the other hand was keen to send you to the school you paid money for, as you should. You were fast asleep dreaming about exo performing as ot9 was suddenly awoken by the screaming of your mother. “YAH Y/N WAKE UP AND GET TO SCHOOL BEFORE I TAKE ALL YOUR EXO POSTERS AGAIN!” hearing that was enough to make you jump out of bed and start getting ready, not without a few complaints of course. Walking into your washroom you take one good look at your face in the morning, “oh god” you’re at least grateful your skin decided not to break out on the first day of school however your face was still puffed and quite dull. You continued washing your face, brushing your teeth and putting on that god awful, ugly, disgusting, and horrific uniform, as you described. Objectively your uniform wasn’t at all bad however you had the tendency to well… overthink. (the uniform looks like the A-teen beige uniform)

It being 8:35 and school starting at 8:45, you speed walked and slightly ran to school attempting to cut the initial 10 min walk in half with at least 5 mins to spare just in case. Fortunately enough you managed to get there on time to check what your classroom was, before the bell. Room 215? Ok… WHERE IS THAT AGAIN?! Somehow the break managed to erase most of your memory of the school, although there wasn’t much worth remembering about your most hated location on planet earth. You run around frantically desperately trying to find your homeroom before a teacher, or worse a hall monitor. You stop in the middle of an empty hallway to text your friends where the hell room 215 is, until you hear a unfamiliar voice reach out to you, “Are you lost babygirl” WHAT THEEE it took a second for you to process what the guy had said until out of instinct you start to laugh uncontrollably with your eyes starting to tear up. You turn around, hand holding your stomach, “What did you just say?” you ask, unable to take the male standing in front of you seriously. He stares at you, seeming to enjoy that you understood his reference, “What so you’re telling me you’re not totally turned on by that comment?” With a slight over exaggerated gasp at the end of his sentence, obviously showing that he was joking. “No no your question was valid just-” unable to finish your sentence you rerun the moment that had just unfolded through your head, succeeding in making you burst out in laughter again. His voice cuts through your laugh, “No but seriously you seem lost” finally regaining your composure, you take a minute to examine his appearance, and his attractiveness, and realizing you’ve been staring for a bit too long you panic quickly trying to cover it up, “YEAH UM i'm lost do you know where room 215 is?” “New student?” “no just dumb” He laughs at your honesty and points you in the right direction like a true gentleman. “Oh my god thanks so much, hope I see you again cute stranger!” you end your sentence with a wink and then run off after getting a glimpse of his dumbfounded expression although close enough to hear him yell out, “The name’s YangYang!” 

The odds were in your favour managing to slip into class before your teacher arrived and you had a mini-mental celebration before choosing to sit in the empty window seat in the middle row with an empty seat beside you to limit the amount of human interaction you get. Sitting down in your seat and see the teacher walk in and start the generic beginning of the school year talk, you text your friends to pass the time, who were lucky enough to have their class together, while the class goes through the course outline. After waiting a few minutes at the front, you see both of your friends, Kyung-hu and mee-yon or as you called them kyuhu and mimi to simplify their names, walk out and you guys greet each other before the three of you walk in the direction of your neighborhood, talking about what you all did during the break, all the annoying teachers and most recent gossip. 

You’d notice that the first week of school would follow this routine, passing by quite quickly and finding it uneventful as your teacher didn’t give a lot of homework as it was the first week of school. During the first week you concluded that there was no one in your classroom, or in the school for that matter that piqued your interest except for the fellow that helped you on the first day but has managed to slip your sight every time you scanned your surroundings to find him. Although just as fast as the first week passed by, the weekend went just as fast, and based on how your school operates, it’d be the only free weekend you’d have in a long time. And much to your dissatisfaction, you found herself in the same situation from a week ago, tired, lazy and lacking any motivation to go to school. Despite this you actually made an effort to wake up early, too early, to get ready for school to escape the never ending nagging from your mother over calls from the office over your tardy attendance. After eating a good enough breakfast, you open your door expecting a cold breeze to meet you as it did last week but to your surprise the outside was bright and dry, with no traces of snow, almost as if the weekend magically changed Seoul from winter to spring. However the leaves on the trees would need a lot more time than a weekend to grow back to their former glory. Remember when I mentioned you woke up too early, you were exactly two hours early when you arrived at the school, which suddenly made sense to you when you realized that no one in your house was awake yet and the roads in your neighborhood felt deserted. After walking around the campus you finally settle on a familiar tree on the outskirts of the school grounds, its location the very reason why you and your friends chose it as your casual lunch location for the past two years. You set your bag on your lap hugging it like a pillow laying your head on it for support and almost immediately you start drifting off the sleep. 

Unbeknownst to you, your perfect sleep would be ruined by one Park Jisung, you see park jisung made the mistake of waking up 20 mins before school started not taking into account it was his very first day at the highschool and he was bound to get lost on the way to school and if he even managed to find the school, he’d have no idea where his classroom as he also missed orientation for all new students. Late and lost, jisung looked around the front of the building in search of someone to help him but since school had already started most staff and students were already inside. Although it would’ve been easier for jisung to walk inside the building somehow he noticed a figure under a tree not too far from him, jisung assuming it was a student figured it’d be easier to ask a student then suffer a scolding or even awkward small talk with a teacher. He runs up to the sleeping person under the tree and realizes it’s a girl from the long hair and skirt, legs criss crossed under a bag you is hugging and sleeping on. Reluctant to grab your attention, awakening you from your slumber, but he must do so if he ever wishes to get to class. “Excuse me?” Jisung repeats this a few times first with a shy voice growing in volume in desperation to wake you up. In your dream EXO OT9 were just about to sing love shot, one of the comebacks lay missed out on, when you heard a reluctant voice repeatedly saying excuse me disrupting your peace and not to mention exo’s performance. Jisung seeing that his voice was not enough to wake you up he starts to get physical. You try to ignore the voice hoping it’d go away until it actually starts poking your shoulder, now you have no choice but to let go of your perfect dream and wake up to respond to the thing that dares interrupt your nap. Jisung notices the girl moving, satisfied that he finally woke you up, he watches as you yawn and rub your eyes, cute he thinks to himself admiring the girl’s sleepy and adorable state. You open your eyes to see a timid but tall boy crouched beside you, finger still pointed after persistently poking you. “Yes?” glaring at the poor boy with the rudest voice you could muster expecting him to get the hint to leave you alone. “U-um can u help me?” Looking at the nervous state of the boy you empathize with his confusion seeing as you were in a similar dilemma a week ago. Softening your expression you say, “yeah what's up?” using a tone completely opposite of the one a second ago, causing Jisung to relax and become more at ease after noticing your change in attitude, “oh can u tell me where this classroom is?” Jisung points at his paper, saying Room 215. He watches your face light up, “Oh! That's my classroom you can just follow me!” And you give the boy an eye smile, happy that you can help him and possibly become friends with the boy. Jisung’s ears turn pink admiring how cute your smile is and touched by your hospitality. you stand up dusting off your skirt and checking if you had any dirt on your clothes or legs. Putting your backpack on and adjusting the straps you ask the boy what time it was. “Oh it's 9:00 am” Jisung says to you sheepishly hoping he doesn’t shock you by how late they both are, “OH SHOOT'' After hearing the time realizing just how fucked you were, acting quick you grab the new boy’s hand and start running towards the building. Jisung trailing behind the small girl is blushing due to the sudden skin ship and can feel his heart pounding due to the spontaneousness of the girl's actions along with the running not at all helping with his heart rate. Running across the field underneath the sunlight causes an increase in heart rate, a mutual feeling felt by the two, but you both recognize it as a mere adrenaline rush as you both try to take in the predicament you find yourselves in. Jisung staring at the hand who had taken his own so boldly, looked up staring at your hair that had turned from a raven black shade to a chocolate brown in the sunlight admiring how it swayed while you ran. Continuing to run you turn around with a huge smile across your face locking eyes with the boy whos awestruck expression turns into a comforting smile. Somehow without even knowing each other's names you both felt as if you've managed to escape reality, like the two of you were the only people in the universe, a feeling so rare, a scene only in movies, an occurrence never forgotten and yet was just experienced by these two individuals, even if it was just for a moment. 

April: April bears us spring, which in turn prepares us for summer. The weather is unlike any other, it follows the frigid temperatures of winter and yet precedes the intense heat of summer, the month is in equilibrium. 

You watch from the safety of the other side of the field as Jisung is teased yet again by his new found friend group. As cliche as it sounds he managed to land himself with the “popular kids'' group despite this school not caring much for social norms, even if there was a popular group it’d be them and they’ve accepted him wholeheartedly as if he spent the last two years with them. Much to everyone’s surprise Jisung was capable of fitting in despite him being the new kid and it being the last year, it was almost as if he was the missing part of their friend group. The group consisted of Chenle, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Haechan and Mark and they weren’t just popular, they were rich and attractive as well. “Oh how he’s blossomed” you say to yourself while admiring Jisung for coming out of his shell and express himself freely “Oh god please don’t tell me you just said that” “You sound like a pedo” As if on cue your two friends arrive at your spot under the tree, slightly creeped out by your confession. “YA I didn’t mean it like that!” you say pouting at your friends' judgmental remarks. “It’s just that he’s grown so much and it’s only been a month'' taking one last glimpse at Jisung having fun before turning to your best friends who have already started to eat. “Jisung was an innocent shy boy when you met him, your maternal instincts kicked in when you first saw him, so helped him out and get comfortable at the school and now you feel like you’ve raised him but now that he’s found a proper friend group you’re sad blah blah blah yes we get it.” Shocked and speechless at what Mee-yon just said, you shake your head looking down before resting your head on your arms placed on your knees while meeting their gaze, “Did I really sound like a pedo?” this time Kyung-Hu was the one to reply “yes you definitely did” nodding innocently while getting it to you straight. And with that final blow you hide your head in your crossed arms similar to a fetal position, accepting your defeat at their teasing. 

As you hear your friends move on to a new topic you just keep your head down too tired to raise it and decide to take a mini nap to hopefully make up for the 3 hours of sleep you got the night before. It wasn’t like you and jisung falling off bothered you that much you actually rarely thought about it, but for some reason today you were bothered. I guess we were never really friends. I guess more like friendly acquaintances? What about the time we hung out after school or skipped class together, did that mean anything? You sighed letting go of the memories of jisung and started falling asleep unaware of the glances from the same person you were just thinking about. You dreamed about the day you two met, after getting too tired to run the whole way there, since the two of you were already late you decided to just walk the rest of the way to your classroom while in the school, to give Jisung a mini school tour. “You just transferred here right?” “yeah I used to live in Inseon” “so why’d you decide to move here and transfer just a week after school started?” “My mom got an unexpected promotion she couldn’t refuse so we had to move to Seoul, but you sure ask a lot of questions'' you remember him teasing you for that “Well do you blame me? I’m curious.” You catch him off guard by your retaliation, “so do you miss it?” asking another unexpected question that causes a change in mood after bringing up his old home. “Of course I do, I grew up there, I had friends there and I had memories” you turned around noticing his melancholy expression while reminiscing and looked at him with concern, feeling sorry for the boy who was just staring at the ceiling almost as if he was trying to find something that was not even there. He notices the silence and makes eye contact with you realizing he must’ve worried you. “Oh but it’s better this way!” He says happily to ease your obvious concern and you stare at the nervous boy, eyebrow raised not convinced by his sudden change of heart. You let it go and the two of you walked a little bit more in silence before stopping, well at least you stopped, Jisung was absent minded enough to not realize you had stopped walking and bumped into back, you instantly looked up and stared at the boy directly over you. Jisung as the shy boy he was, panics and steps back slightly red which causes you to chuckle at his innocent behaviour. “Well here we are room 215” but before jisung was able to walk into the classroom, you turn around and stop him holding out your palm showing the universal symbol to stop, before extending it as a handshake. “Before you hear it from anyone else, I'm y/n” while grinning from ear to ear and jisung grasps your hand and gives you a light handshake, “hi i’m park jisung” returning you the same enthusiasm through a smile. After holding each others hands a little longer than expected, you let go awkwardly and enter the rowdy classroom filled with talking, laughter and pure ruckus. 

You didn't know one was capable of dreaming of a memory but you just did, and just as it was before, your nap was interrupted by noise, this time in the form of whispers, many whispers. You lift your head using your right hand to rub your eyes to adjust to the light and you meet eyes with the very boy you were dreaming about. “Jisung?” you ask with open eyes, confused and surprised. “O-oh hi y/n we meet here again” he answers, scratching the nape of his neck sheepishly. His friends beside him, snicker at his awkward response and continue laughing amongst each other mocking him, jisung notices this and pretends he’s about to hit them so they’d stop making you feel uncomfortable. He looks back at you even more embarrassed to explain his presence in front of you, “so-” “Why are you here, and where's kyung-hu and mee-yon” You notice that your two friends are nowhere to be found and you become more and more anxious being alone with practical strangers. “Funny you should mention that, they actually-” “We went to get some snacks!” Although kinda mad at them for leaving you alone, at least they showed up before this conversation could get any more awkward than it already was. Jisung feels quite relieved sparing him from the awkward exchange however his friends can’t get enough of his uncomfortableness bursting out in laughter when he was interrupted, not once but two times. Jisung and his friends move themselves to the tree beside you guys resting under the shade after mee-yoon and kyung-hu return back to their seats. After waiting until they were at a comfortable distance you start yell/whispering at your friends, “WHat the fuck guys you dont leave me alone with strangers!” “Oh don’t worry at least you finally talked to him instead of staring at him all day. Plus we needed to get enough snacks for all of us and we all know one person can’t carry all of that food. So please consider this strawberry milk as an apology.” Kyung-hu offers you the drink with Mee-yoon nodding her head in agreement. “Ugh I guess this was worth that horrible experience”  you take your favourite drink after barely eating anything due to your lack of appetite. 

The bell goes off and everyone starts to leave the field and head under the main building including you and your friends and since those two had a class together you took a different hallway hearing footsteps behind you before realizing the only person that could’ve been behind you was someone in your class, god please kill me now. And before the awkwardness kills you, you turn around and break the silence “hey thanks for watching me while I slept I understand my friends prolly asked you to do it as a favour and I really appreciate it” Jisung looks up after staring at his feet initially scared to stare in your direction. “No problem, i'm sorry that woke you up from your nap under that tree, it feels almost like deja vu” Both of you shyly laugh at his reference to your first encounter reminiscing the past memory. “Tell me park jisung why is it always you that must ruin my napping time? What have I done to deserve such cruelty.” Your exaggeration and choice of words managed to put a smile on his face and even a chuckle out of him. “Hey that's not my fault you’re obsessed with sleeping under that tree.” “But it’d be a waste not to, the weather this time of the year is just right, you can feel the heat but it's not overbearing it comforts you, it doesn’t require you to add layers nor remove any. We don’t need to change, not one bit. I can’t afford to take these moments for granted.” Jisung stares at your back taken aback by your sudden seriousness, not to mention the topic being the mere weather. Coincidentally the roles were now reversed, it was now Jisung that was perplexed by the change of mood similar to how you were a month ago. Although he could tell your words held more depth than they let on and decided not to speak on the matter moving on with the conversation. “But seriously no need to thank me after all I do kinda owe you for helping me out, plus you’re my friend, actually my first friend at this school” flashing you a smile which eases the awkwardness of your conversation. “Friend?” you widen your eyes at the title, unaware he saw you like that considering the limited time the two of you spent together. “Yeah that's what you call people you care about right?” your eyes follow his figure with a speechless expression on your face as he passes by you and walks ahead to go back to class, but just before he walks in he steps back to look back at you, “are you coming, friend?” before winking at you, emasked in the sunlight coming from the classroom, changing his eyes a lighter shade, before completely walking into the classroom. He leaves you baffled and blushing at his new found confidence and you are still processing what just happened, did he just wink at me? You shake your head trying to forget his words in hopes of calming your heart rate and enter your classroom sitting in your seat, on the other side of the class. Despite how much you try to hide your embarrassment, you just couldn’t hide how pink your ears were, same as jisung who might have put on a brave front, is slightly regretting and yet at the same time, proud of what he said. Both of you refusing to look anywhere else but down and especially not at each other, lost in your own thoughts but if the both of you had just looked at eachother even if it was just for a moment, you both would’ve found out something crucial about each other. 

May: May does not only serve as the last stretch of spring but as a period of freedom. It enables the ability to be free enough to have dreams and independent enough to act on them. 

Unlike the last two months you and jisung actually managed to talk more, although more doesn’t necessarily mean a lot but considering you and him have only shared a few meaningful conversations over the span of two months, your current relationship was a huge upgrade. Disregarding the occasional partner project or pairing in physical ed, in which you and jisung had always chosen each other considering both of your friends were in different classes, you’ve developed somewhat of a casual and low maintenance friendship, that didn’t need frequent conversations but had few but worthwhile moments, all of which were cherished by the both of you, as they reassembled the same serenity the two of you shared the first day you met each other. The moments you shared rarely felt forced and if they were, due to the immature pressures of both of your friend groups, the two of you had no trouble slipping into your own world. As naive as it sounds the friendship the two of you shared was purely platonic, no doubt there were moments of butterflies and heart racing however it only lasted just for a moment, quickly fading away. However someone you were interested in was the guy that helped you on your first day, although all that you knew about him was his name, yangyang. 

You and your two friends approach the stands taking your seats to watch the soccer game hosted by your school after getting invited to sit beside jisung and a few of his friends to cheer on Jaemin, playing as a forward and Jeno, the goalie. As you look forward at the field and someone wearing the number 24 caught your eye. You found the haircut and build of number 24 familiar. You struggled trying to figure out just where you saw someone with similar features as 24, but it was only until he finally turned in your direction, getting a good look at his face. “That's him!” you accidentally stood up, hands covering your open mouth and jisung who was having a conversation with his best friend chenle, turned around to look at your stunned expression. “Hm? What happened?” You looked around embarrassed by drawing attention to yourself and sat back down awkwardly, leaning towards jisung who sat in the row in front of you to whisper, “do you know who number 24 is?” “Yeah that’s yangyang but what about him?” “Yeah I KNOW what his name is, but like who is he?” “I hope you realize how stupid you sound, but why are you asking me, I’M the new kid remember? Not the person who has been attending this school for the past two years.” Jisung raises his eyebrow to you confused as to why you don’t know who this guy was, expecting the both of you to have already met at least once. “So what you’re basically saying is that you got nothing?” “No I never said that, for your information yangyang is our age but he only transferred here last year from Germany. I guess he keeps himself lowkey, soccer is really his only extracurricular.” “bruh you should’ve just led with that, not with any of this new kid bs” “I think you meant to say thank you” Jisung gives you a deadpan look disappointed by your ungratefulness, you catch a glimpse of his face and laugh at how annoyed he is. Hoping not to make your friend upset, you lean in and stick out your tongue playfully in a teasing manner before flashing him your signature smile, “Thank you Jwi~”. Taken aback by his nickname (jwi means mouse in korean) along with the hint of aegyo in your voice, blood rises to his cheeks and to his ears but before you properly see it, he covers his face with his hands while looking down although his ears, like always, were giving him away. 

But before you could tease him the announcer's voice filled the outdoor stadium, “Ladies and gentlemen the game between Seoul Highschool and Apgujeong Highschool is about to commence!” Suddenly you hear everyone in the stands start screaming yelling to the top of their lungs. “We will first introduce the starting lineup of the home team, starting with co-captains Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno!” You, jisung and both of your friends stand up and start cheering on the duo running onto the field, as you have become quite friendly with jisung and his friends so it was only fitting for you to support them. After their introduction you paid no attention to the remainder of the names until, “Now introducing number 24 yangyang!” Your head that was previously resting on your palm was raised after hearing that familiar name and you lean in trying to get a closer look at him before going beside jisungs ear. “Ya” Jisung, scared by the sudden noise, flinches back leaning on to chenle, who was too distracted talking to Renjun to notice his best friend but jisungs reaction does cause you to grin. Pointing at the smiling boy on the field, you say “Do you know what class he’s in?” “Oh him?” He takes a double check looking you up and down weirded out by your enthusiasm and interest in the soccer player. “Yes we were literally talking about him like 10 seconds ago” you rolling your eyes at his forgetfulness, you find it hard to believe he could be this oblivious knowing he was acting like this to tease you. “Yeah I know what class he’s in” you glare at the boy already knowing you’d have to do the most for him to finally spill the tea. “Uh would you like to tell meee?” you, not caring if you seemed desperate. “Lemme think, hmmm yeah no i'm good” “YAH PARK JISUNG'' you see his amused expression before coughing to regain your composure and trying another strategy “Can u please tell me~” you try to act as soft and cute as possible and although aegyo tears away at your soul, you know jisung couldn’t bare the sight of it. “STOP OH GOD” He tries to cover your face so he wouldn’t need to watch your aegyo any longer but you being determined, keep dodging him so he could see every cute action you’d do. “Please jisung~” “OKOK FINE JUST PLEASE STOP!” You quickly change your expression to a serious one which slightly scares jisung “so tell me what his classroom is” you say in a threatening tone while stabbing his ribs with your fingers causing him to flinch away, he sighs and slouches showing his surrender, caving into your antics, “fine it’s room 105” “Thank you! See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” You happily smile at him but you can see he obviously didn’t reciprocate the same feelings of joy and instead glaring at you. “Easy for you to say I have to bleach my eyes and tend to my wounds” Jisung cries out while holding the ribs you just stabbed, you roll your eyes yet again and scoff at his over exaggeration. “You’re such a kid.” “I'm legit older than you soo you’re the child here” him feeling proud at his comeback, looks up to catch your reaction but you’re pouting, hand crossed over your chest upset by the undeniable fact, which he finds kind of adorable. “Anyways why are you so interested in this guy anyways? Do you like him or something” jisung asks with his eyebrow raised while poking your leg suggesting that you do hold feelings for the boy, you feel your face become slightly hot by his suggestion. You swat his hand away and say, “N-no, the answer is no. How can I even like him, I hardly know anything about him. I’m just...” “you're just?” you start glaring him for interrupting your sentence and for teasing you. “I’m just interested” you finally end your sentence returning a playful wink to jisung just as he did a month ago. “Uh huh” Jisung says with a suspicious tone before turning around showing his back to you and properly watching his friends play in their first game of the season. Not satisfied with his answer you decide to talk a bit more, “what, can’t a girl be interested in a guy? I can’t just sit around dreaming about the day he approaches me, when I want something, whatever that may be, I go get it! Plus don’t you have anyone you’re interested in?” Still refusing to turn to you, you assumed he was just ignoring you, not paying attention to your question but jisung’s act backfired when you noticed his ears turn pink after hearing what you asked. “Heoll~, our jisungie has a crush?” (heol is korean slang for omg) you start shaking his shoulders out of excitement of this discovery. Still not looking at you, jisung puts his head in his hands to hide his embarrassment, amused by his timidness, you try to make him turn to you but he won't budging, unable to look at you to spare himself further embarrassment. In truth jisung didn’t have anyone he was interested in, so he was confusing himself but it was probably the question itself and the possibility of him having a crush that made him embarrassed, or at least that’s what he told himself.  “Yaaaaa jisunggg tell me~” You say in a teasing voice but realizing your strategy wasn’t gonna make him turn your way, you smirk hoping that if anything were to get him to turn around it’d be this. So you start tickling him hoping he was even ticklish which fortunately he was, severely ticklish at that too. He starts to spasm due to the tickling laughing uncontrollably using his hands to block your hands and move away from your grasp. “YA STO-” turning around to yell at you, unaware at how close you got when trying to tickle him, he stops mid sentence finally realizing the lack of distance between the two of you. He takes a small gasp interrupting what he was going to say, speechless by the sudden eye contact, but it’s too late your eyes were already locked. “Ah there you are~” you say that in such a gentle tone that it was more of a whisper, inaudible to anyone besides you and jisung. Once again you guys find each other in the sunlight, which lights up both of your eyes making them seem as clear as honey, unaware of everyone standing up, cheering as yangyang just scored a goal. Both of you too lost in each other's eyes to notice anything else besides the smallest details in each other's iris’. However the gaze is suddenly broken when you look around and realize the cause of celebration, clueless to jisung's lingering gaze. “Oh my god look yangyang just scored a goal!” You tell the boy in front of you eyes glimmering with admiration, much to jisung's displeasure. Jisung was slightly upset at the soccer player who was the reason for breaking your eye contact, along with the fond expression brought to your face when looking at yangyang rather than himself. And although jisung might never admit it, deep down he’d wish for you to look at him like that even if it was just for a moment.

June: After months in the cold waiting for the arrival of summer, at last June has arrived. The month does not only represent a drastic change in temperature but in emotions as well, this month is when mere feelings can finally develop, for better or for worse. 

“I like you” the words you hear coming out of your newest friend, whom you’ve become quite close to and bonded with over the past month. “Yangyang I-” “it’s okay you don’t have to answer, I just wanted to tell you” The boy says before winking and smiling at you with confidence. In the distance you could hear his friend Hendrey call out to him in a distance and you see him turn around to wave at his friend and turn back around, “anyways y/n I kind of need to go now, my friend is calling me” He says scratching the back of his neck, reminding you of another male friend of yours, using his thumb to point back to hendrey. He runs off to his friend, not forgetting to turn around, giving a cute wave before Hendrey wraps his arm around his shoulders walking off to who knows where. Now you’re left alone dumbfounded, behind the school building with a stunned expression, while physically you look as if your mind is blank your thoughts were far from that of panicking at your friends sudden confession. In retrospect you were kind of expecting this to happen as at some point considering your relationship was never just friends, you yourself started talking to him with slight romantic interests involved. Although it was, at least for you, a bit too soon. Still baffled by recent events you failed to notice the running footsteps of two boys come from behind you. “YA CHENLE GIVE THAT BACK!” You remain stuck in your headspace as both boys suddenly stop when they notice your strange figure and start whispering to themselves. “Yah isn't that y/n?” Chenle says to the jisung who steps closer to get a better look at you standing alone, he turns back to his friend “Uh yeah I think so?” There’s a second of silence as the boys try to figure out the odd circumstance, before Chenle says, “oh well HAVE FUN!” sticking out his tongue and running away while laughing uncontrollably hoping jisung doesn’t try to go after him after successfully figuring out his password and stealing his phone. “YA” jisung lets out a heavy sigh giving up trying to get his phone back and turning towards the dazed girl, shaking your shoulder a bit to get you out of your trance “Y/n?” “H-huh? Jisung? W-what're you doing here?” “I should ask you the same thing, I mean you're all alone out here” “Oh I was? I guess I didn't notice.” You shake your head trying to forget yangyang’s confession and bring yourself back to reality not noticing jisung turning his head to the side to hide the slight blush after seeing you in a confused state. Confused as to why he had suddenly spaced out looking in another direction, “Jisung?” You ask him while tilting your head cutely, an action jisung was still able to see in his peripheral vision which made him want to keep his head turned away even more. It was now you trying to get his attention so you smile realizing the irony of the situation,”Y-yeah?” “You wanna go to class now?” You say smiling before walking ahead of him with a slight skip in your step. “Yeah sure” you hear him say awkwardly following you to class. The two of you walked in silence from that moment on side by side, you taking a few glances to check up on him as he did with you and whenever you two did make eye contact you both gave each other a smile that although a bit awkward, was comforting in some way. 

It was almost a week after yangyangs confession and since then you’ve fortunately managed to avoid him, still confused with what your answer, but it wasn’t whether or not you had feelings for him or not because you knew the boy could make you laugh, smile and give you butterflies at soon as you laid eyes on him, but you felt as if it was rushed. You considered it as only a crush than deep feelings for a committed relationship, simply put it was too early. And yet you knew you’d regret rejecting him because you didn’t want your relationship to end, rejecting him would risk losing, what would've been a perfect relationship due to your own indecisiveness. Ugh I hate feelings, you trying to decide your answer, was exactly what caused you to get lost during your late night walk you took to clear your head. Realizing that you’d been spacing out, you take a look at your surroundings and you had absolutely no idea where you were. “Oh shit” although what you could recognize is a neon sign at the end of the street that spelled out Convenience Store with a couple tables and seats at the front for eating. Feeling your stomach give a loud growl, you unlock your phone just to check if you have time to spare to eat some ramen, before your mom yells at you for staying out too late, 9:00 only? “OK! Lets go!” you celebrate to yourself, pumping a fist in the air before skipping towards the store and greeting the cashier. While you run your finger through the shelfs scanning the inventory trying to find your favourite ramen, “cheese ramen, cheese ramen, cheese ramen” All of a sudden you hear the door of the store open due the iconic bell and you hear a voice, a male voice greet the cashier as well, “Good evening~” FUCK! You instantly recognize the voice cursing inwardly at the chances you’d bump into him at a convenience store of all places. You immediately move to the next aisle, away from the entrance praying that he wouldn’t see you hiding behind the end of the aisle. “This literally cannot be happening to me” “What can’t be happening to you?” you let out a shriek, jumping back startled to hear ANOTHER voice. Please don't be him, please don't be him, you open your eyes that were shut due to fright, to look up at the stranger that just scared you “J-jisung?” “Yeah who else?” You wonder why you didn’t recognize his voice initially but you see his confident grin while looking at your distressed state, it somehow pleased him to see you like this. “So you gonna answer my question or are you gonna keep on staring at me?” Realizing you must look completely crazy, you fix your posture to look at jisung straight in the eye, “none of your business.” And you walk away from the boy taking your former spot using the aisle to block anyone’s view of you. You occasionally peek your head out just to check on the whereabouts of the mystery boy and jisung takes notes of this, standing behind you, hovering like the giant he is. He chuckles at your childishness, “who are you hiding from?” He asks out loud not caring if anyone heard him, you panic quickly putting your hand over his mouth to shut him up. “Jheez can u be any louder? Plus did I not make it clear, none. of. your. business.” Jisung pouts at you before licking the inside of your hand causing you to let go of him and give him a look of a disgust while you try to wipe his saliva off your hand with your sweater, but all he does is flash you a playful smile satisfied with your reaction. You roll your eyes at jisungs shenanigans and turn around to continue your spying seeing that the boy stayed by the cashier examining the gums and candies. Jisung follows your gaze tryna figure out just who you’re so afraid of before realizing who it was and his smile then turned into a thin line. “Him?” “Ya what do you mean him? That's yangyang!” You hit jisung offended by his reaction to your crush. Jisung flinches pretending that your hit actually hurt, “yeah did I stutter?” you ignore what jisung just said, too focused on predicting the movements of yangyang, maybe focusing too hard that just when you thought he was going to leave without noticing you, you two accidentally make eye contact and you quickly hide behind the aisle hoping he didn't see you. With your chest going up and down, you struggle to control your heart rate placing your hand on your chest to hopefully help lower it down. Jisung widens his eyes seeing you so flustered, “why what happened?” he looks at you, concerned thinking you’re having a heart attack. “He saw me” you slide down now sitting on the floor with your legs folded in front of you while you hide your face in your hands breathing into them, trying to calm yourself down. “What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do” you continually repeat those words slightly scaring jisung in the process, although after seeing you in this condition he realized he needed to help in some way. “Okok just stay here” patting your head before walking off leaving you to curl up on your own. Jisung walks down the aisle that yangyang just saw you in, already meeting face to face with the boy that had walked in your direction trying to check if it was really you or a hallucination. He stops when he sees jisung, taking a step back confused as to why he’d see him there of all places, “Jisun-” “Oh hey Yangyang funny seeing you here, isn’t it a bit late tho? Based on what jeno and jaemin were talking about I swear you guys have soccer practice in the morning tomorrow at 6, no?” Jisung interrupted yangyang, rambling on about a made up soccer practice, jisung thought of on the spot, while putting his arm around the clueless boy's shoulders pushing him until they made it out of the store and before yangyang could process what was happening. “O-oh they never told me we had practice” “oh well good thing you heard it from me, tho you might wanna double check just in case, ok?” “y-yeah ok, but wait-'' but before jisung could hear his question concerning you, and then be forced to answer it he turned around and walked away allowing the convenience store door to shut thus ending their interaction, leaving yangyang completely dumbfounded as to how he ended up outside of the store instead of inside looking for you. Jisung gives a sigh of relief upon returning to the scared figure on the ground in front of him, “It’s okay now” you hear those comforting words escape his mouth and you lift up your head to look up at him, “is he gone now?” Suddenly, jisung feels heat rise to his cheeks when looking down at your curled up body, resembling a scared child and somehow your question triggered a protective instinct in jisung, who felt the need to protect you from all the things wrong in the world well at least all the things that you couldn’t protect your own self from. Finally calming down after your nervous breakdown you stand up wiping away the dust on your clothes before turning to jisung with a smile on your face, “Now let's go eat some ramen!” 

Both of you walk out of the convenience store after finding your cheese ramen and his spicy one, cooking it using the hot water at the store. You both sit down on one of the tables in front of the store met with a cool breeze that cooled the two of you down a bit from the summer heat. After taking a few bites and many loud slurps from the ramen, the two of you take your time to chew creating a moment of silence so jisung turns to you, “so you wanna tell me what happened in there?” You feel obligated to give him an explanation especially after how he helped you out, swallowing your food you lay your chopsticks down and explain to him the situation of yangyang confessing to you and you being nervous and confused. “Heol, yangyang actually likes you? Whaa” You throw a piece of your trash at him offended by his question, “Ya what do you mean actually liked me, what is their not to like” you say while flipping your hair back confidently, “Mhm you keep telling yourself that” his comeback slightly surprising you but you stop there not trying to take anymore insulting comments. “Ok but I was really nervous back there, if I wasn't so antisocial or if I actually understood my feelings then maybe yangyang and I would’ve already been dating and doing whatever couples do.” Thinking about the possibilities you pout and shove a bunch of noodles in your mouth to chew angrily, showing just how stressed out you were. Jisung lets out a laugh which earns a glare from you after being charmed by your inexperience and instead of making fun of your fantasies with yangyang, he empathizes with your situation thinking of a mature answer to help you out. “Do you seriously think anyone understands themselves? Because they don’t. People may put on a convincing facade but trust me when I tell you everyone is just as confused as you are. We’re teenagers for god sakes, we’re supposed to be going through this. You may not know what you want now, but in the future you will and how are you ever gonna figure it out unless you try? I have no idea what you’re feeling right now but I do know it’d be a waste to push those feelings aside because you’re scared. You’re the only thing stopping yourself and for whatever the reason is to why you're scared, whether that be getting hurt or getting embarrassed, just know it's natural and what’s meant to happen will happen but only if you allow it to.” In awe of jisungs words and yet curious as to how he developed all that wisdom. You stare at him, trying to read his face trying to understand what he was thinking. Instead you notice the soft glow of the neon sign on his features, his hair and face slightly lit up. You soften your expression while examining the details of the boy in front of you, who’s sitting with a slight slouch while spacing out, looking down at his ramen that makes you giggle inwardly because it looks like he’s glaring at his own food. You notice just how innocent and vulnerable he looks, and yet on the contrary you are unable to understand his thoughts now matter how you try. You find yourself spotting traits about jisung that you never realized before, like the glimmer in his eye or the sound of his sniffle while eating hot noodles, or how his cheeks puff out in the slightest and his hands inter cross when trying to focus. Even if he was sitting right across from her, he felt beyond reach and in the perspective you found jisung in, he was what they call picture perfect. If only I could just read his mind, even if it was just for a moment. However you stop yourself from staring at your friend for any longer and look down to take in his words, the same words that caught you off guard. You take a minute to absorb jisungs advice and just as quickly as yangyang said those three words to you, three words of the same nature slip out of your mouth, delivering the long awaited answer you were trying so hard to figure out, “I like yangyang.”

If you were able to read this far, I love you~

[fearlessbeauty13]

This my first blog on this app so apologize if I’m not doing something correct ( but I’ll learn )

The subject I want to hit on is FASHION but not JUST ANY FASHION - not what’s “ socially acceptable” … forgot to state I live in Sweden But I was raised since I was 2 in Houston Texas till 20 tears old ( another story for another time) bc if it was up to me .. I’d still be home in the South babyy!! But if don’t live in Sweden, people are so quick to judge and lord do they have shit to say.. yet they still with the same hair style they had since the 80s and SCARED to actually show them selfs.

I’m so happy and feel so blessed because I don’t care what.. if you ain’t help Pay my bills, raise my son all that good stuff … then honestly I love that you talking about me and keep me name known ! Miss Texas Aka Diamond ( no I didn’t give myself that name ) but Miss M.Monique babyy and if you do help me with any of those, then I know you love and accept me for the person I be and never judge.

Excuse my adhd rambling 😅 but it’s all real trill points made. What I want to stress is BE YOU! Why are people so scared to dye their hair ?? I’m natural red head, not ginger but some type gold that I was always told from hair stylist to family and friends never to touch bc it supposedly so rare 🙄 … Boring… hehe so I went straight black hair… then that got to boring so I used a product to fade the color then added purple … then that got to boring so I went ahead and put turquoise color and pink so I was looking like a hot mess bc I was doing it myself for the first time thinking I’m some professional color mixologist😅😂 BUT you LEARN from your MISTAKES!! And now I faded and bleached ( put a little to much stress on me hair using L’Oréal bleach. … should of stuck to manicpanic bleach … not saying L’Oréal bleach is bad but for my hair I and from what I’ve learned is you should of stuck to the same products.

Now I have this beautiful pink/peach and some back purple color - my mermaid look and I love it!!

I’ve got compliments and that’s Great, I’ve got looks like I’m crazy and that’s cool - to each it’s own but my favorite was the younger generation ( the young adults in there 20s - that age you finding YOU ! ) and I’ve had so many come up to me, how they live the color but how I’m not scared or worried and noticing there howling back so being able to give young adults both girls and boys to be them and it a supposed to be friend is embarrassed or negative … then baby let them go !!!

I’m also tattooed up. And ofc I get right away judgements but give me 2 mins and you’ll feel stuiped / bad for pew judging someone . I’m not punk rocker or metal ( but if that’s what make you feel you then do it ) I had a punk skater stage at like 16 but we go through stages . Now I sometimes customize my own clothing but I can go from sporty - adidas , Nike’s or whatever from top to toe . Change to chill with my lyle Scott hat and sweater , dress up in that little black dress to dresses that are so sweet and “Innocent” summer dresses . Shorts and my main love body Suits in all types !!

So don’t ever feel like you have to be what people want or except you to wear or be , act whatever it he case might be. And please if for example 4 of your best friends like that style but you not feelin it… then don’t!!! And I can’t stress it enough to my young ladies and boys ( queens ) or whoever even ones in my age. If whoever can’t accept you for being you. Then bye bye !!

Sorry this blog was a little scattered and went off my main points but I felt these points are so important and especially in this time when 16 year olds have pressure to look like like us grown adults with lip fillers and all that ! NO BABYY!!! Atleast wait till maybe 27-28 of age to do any face design - BUT ONLY AND AS LONG AS YOUR DOING IT FOR YOU! I myself do some face design but I started at age 29. And for my own securities.

Well for now ..: be true to you! Have fun ! And most of all @FearlessYourself baby

Follow me on Instagram - fb and if you really struggling then please message me, I might take a week ( i try my best to reply fast ) we can have a one on one Zoom meeting and first is free. I wish I could always be free but single mama and I need to pay are way . But my heart is in it and I study psychology, work in healthcare and in September going further with my degree.

Thankyou for reading and follow me !

Again @fearlessyourself <>< insta @miss_m.monique_13

[randomthoughtsrandomdude]

HonesTEA time! (Notice how this isn't a Hot Take Wednesday post.)

I'm going to state a few facts that led me to my conclusion, and then I'll share the HonesTEA. (Please note: HonesTEA is made from observations that have been steeping in my brain, but as it contains no actual "tea", it is not in violation of the Word of Wisdom)

Prep time: About 20 years for me to gather everything, but assembly only took about 2-3 weeks.

Yield: Quite large, so pace yourself or risk getting overwhelmed.

For this HonesTEA, you'll need the following facts:

- The only perfect person to walk the earth, in the history of ever, is Jesus Christ

- God the Father, and his Son have knowledge and power that is eternal and all-encompassing.

- They have only ever had imperfect people to work with to share the gospel and change the world.

- Man's knowledge is still growing, and thus not all-encompassing.

- Joseph Smith, a single man, was given revelation to change the world.

- Each individual on Earth is entitled to their own personal revelation that they can use to help those within their responsibility (eg. fathers for their families, leaders for their congregations, etc).

- Using the knowledge he was given, Joseph Smith was able to share his vision with others and establish the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

- The purpose of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to bring others closer to Christ through obedience to His laws and ordinances.

- The Church is led through continuing revelation, and we believe there is still much to be revealed before Christ comes again.

- The prophets and apostles, though led by God, are still men, and thus imperfect. They aren't heathens, but they can make mistakes just like you and me.

- When a person makes a mistake, or sins, the expected next steps is to admit the mistake and then take actions to make right what was wronged.

Now for the recipe:

- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is, as most people would consider, a good organization. The intention that all mankind can know their Creator and Heavenly Parents, and establish a relationship with Them that results in a desire to live with Them again is inherently good. 200 years ago, a young man with a question about how to move forward with his life started the ball rolling to bring us to the Church as it stands today. The trail has not been smooth or steady, but things have definitely come a long way.

- Throughout those years, due to the imperfect nature of man, there have been mistakes. There have been policies enacted and revoked, statements made and then rejected. This is not unusual, because again, man is imperfect.

- Some of these actions/policies/statements originally claim to have been inspired.

- When they are later renounced, that also comes through the claim of having been inspired.

Now here's where things might get lumpy, so pay careful attention:

- We (LDS general membership) believe that God is no respecter of persons, and that all are alike unto Him, both male and female, bond and free; because of this, there's nothing He does to actively bar anyone from coming unto Him.

- From 1830-1852 there were no bars to who was received into the church, and allowed full access to the blessings and ordinances of the Gospel.

- In 1852, the policy to restrict priesthood ordination was put into place, with no explanation that still stands today as a reasonable excuse for it to have been put into place. This policy also restricted black members from ordinances beyond baptism. Elijah Abel, a man who had received the priesthood before the ban, petitioned to receive his endowment in 1879 and was denied. Jane Manning James asked to be able to perform ordinances for her ancestors and was only allowed to do baptisms for the dead, and nothing more.

- In the min-1900's (nearly 100 years later, for those who are counting), clarification was made that the restriction was solely for men of black African descent. Other dark-skinned races, such as Fijians, Pacific Islanders, and Australian Aborigines had no such restrictions.

- Changes didn't seem possible until the question of how the charge to "go ye therefore, and teach all nations" could be fulfilled with the policy of exclusion in place.

- It wasn't until Church leaders were faced with the fact that they were asking members to build temples that they would later not be able to enter that there seems to have actually been a serious supplication with the Lord about what to do.

- June-September, 1978 (136-ish years for those who are counting). President Kimball receives the revelation to rescind the ban, and over the next few months it is unanimously received by the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the other General Authorities, and eventually the general membership in attendance at 148th Semiannual General Conference.

- Now, in a Gospel Topics essay (published in 2013), it states "Today, the Church disavows the theories advanced in the past that black skin is a sign of divine disfavour or curse, or that it reflects unrighteous actions in a premortal life; that mixed-race marriages are a sin; or that blacks or people of any other race or ethnicity are inferior in any way to anyone else. Church leaders today unequivocally condemn all racism, past and present, in any form" (footnote here references a talk from President Hinkley April 2006).

- This is good. This is very good. So why did the publication of the Come, Follow Me book (copyright 2020) intended to help families and children include a section about 2 Nephi 5 that was *very racist*?

- Granted, once this was pointed out, the online version was quickly updated and a statement was made by Irene Caso (a Church spokeswoman) about the error. (I can only find this statement in the article published by the Salt Lake Tribune, it doesn't seem to be anywhere on the Church's website)

Once you've let that steep for a good hour or two, let's proceed:

- How is any of this explained in a way that doesn't include racism?

- I *refuse* to believe that God is racist.

- Don't blame God for the shortcomings/mistakes of man. (Article of Faith 2, anyone?)

- I hope whoever was put in charge of that section of Come Follow Me was suspended, possibly even fired. I honestly do. And probably whoever their quality-checker was.

- Because you know. You KNOW. That the Church isn't some small-town publishing company. You would *expect* there to be multiple quality checks before a World-Wide MANUAL is sent out TO THE ENTIRE WORLD.

- (side-note here as I am monolingual, I don't know if this was also translated into other languages. BUT IF IT WAS HOW WAS IT NOT CAUGHT?)

- (second side-note, if you do some research on blackness in the Topical Guide, you'll come across Joel 2:6, which in its footnote states that blackness is a Hebrew idiom for gloom. Take that nugget and apply it to the Hebrew-influenced Nephi's journal [also known as 1st and 2nd Nephi] and enjoy some new perspective)

- I'm fortunate enough that I'm not seeing blatant racism posted across my social media, but if it can make it into the Church's manual, then it is in the Church.

- With the world in the climate it's currently in, I would looooove to see some tangible, solid evidence behind the Church's claim to "unequivocally condemn all racism".

- Maybe it's through revoking temple access? Maybe it's through being unable to take the Sacrament? Whatever it is, there's some serious application of repentance that's needed.

- In any case, there are some Major Misdeeds done to our POC brothers and sisters, and the leadership of the Church has been alive for most of the reparation process (Ulisses Soares would've been ~18 at the time of the ban being removed.).

- But we're 42 years into it, and we still have so much more to do.

- All is not well in Zion.

- And I don't care what your calling in the Church is.

- If you're racist, you are preventing yourself from receiving the revelation necessary to help those who are looking up to you for guidance.

- And you need to fix that.

Now let it cool and enjoy! The HonesTEA pairs nicely with thoughtful acts of service, or with meaningful discussion, and is safe to share with your electronic friends! Leftovers never expire, so you can enjoy HonesTEA whenever you want!

[prorevenge]

Entitled parent steals from student fund, gets sued over corruption

Hello lads,

I wanted to share a story with you. I'm a 23 YO university student in Slovakia, so please keep in mind English is my 3rd language.

The story evolves around our prom night and our funds (2014 - 2015). In my secondary school of business (commercial academy), we used to pay 50 € into the fund each year to save up for the prom. We had 29 students and accumulated 5 800 € over the period of 4 years. The last year, we had to appoint a parent, who will take care of the finances (managing the account, paying for the things we need, handling the alcohol etc.). Unfortunately, EM "nominated" herself. Other parents were just like "meh, I don't want to do that".

This is where the story begins. EM (Mother) was also a mayor in the small village I live in ( My school was only about 5 min drive from my house to my school in a town nearby). I had also been a really good friend with her son (John) when we were younger. John changed and became unbelievably spoiled over the years. When we entered our new school, he started rubbing his "high life" and how rich he is in everybody's face. Standard rich spoiled a**hole. He was the first to get his new car, always the new iPhone, going on expensive vacations, etc. Simply, nobody could be better or richer than him.

​

As we come close the the prom night, we quickly find that our funds are almost drained out. The girls in our class were really shocked. They had planned the prom to the smallest detail with every cent put to use. We even had to end with 600 € at the end of the prom. Suddenly we had last 50 € in the bank account. Back then, we didn't really care, EM just took more money than she should and she will return it later. We asked the EM, where she spent the money. She just replied "I had spent it where you told me to, the rest I will put back".

​

I didn't believe a single word, but since it was a night before the prom, we didn't care. The prom was nice, we had lots of fun, inviting parents and teachers alike. With best possible food and alcohol for the evening.

The next day we went over our account and found out we were actually 600 € in debt. WTF just happened?! We first checked with the EM. She gave 200 € to the photographer. Paid him even 200 € for the job well done (really stupid) and even another 200 € to get "bluray" discs instead of regular DVDs or CDs. We bought her BS, for a time. We called the photographer. LO and BEHOLD, he only received 200 €. Question was, where did the rest of the money ended up? You guessed it right, in EM's pocket. It was not only that, a couple of 100 € here and 100 € there and you get the picture. WE estimated that out of the 5800 € we have originally had, she "borrowed" 1200 €.

We told our class-teacher and our parents about that. They were all furious at her. She was asked to present cash register receipts to see where the money went. She was red the whole day as she was trying to falsify the receipts. Eventually nobody bought into her lies anymore. She was asked multiple times to cover the losses, but she had always found an excuse (couldn't press charges, as the fund was rather voluntary, and we had no official documents, plus we gave her all the info how to withdraw the money and the credit card). Eventually our graduation came along (Maturita in Slovakia). We had no more money to make a small feast for the teachers before the graduation, as we would never see each-other again. Some of the parents volunteered to bake a cook something for the teachers. The EM came as well, and she even had the courage to eat from the tables our parents voluntarily made, free of cost. She was even asked to stay outside and was not allowed to enter until she pays her debt.

A few day after a get a FB notification from John...and boy..the audacity!

"If everyone in the class would give 20 € more, we would cover the expenses". Suddenly a rich brat turns into a choosing beggar. I told him no. He had a party in the evening since it was his B-day, so I went there. I handed him a bottle of Jack Daniels (because he gave it to me on my B-day, saying I could never afford it myself) and told him "We're done, I'm not your friend".

I couldn't let it slide. Her husband had covered the expenses eventually but it wasn't good enough. She stole from her son and from his classmates. From what I know she is a fraud (tax evasion, accountancy fraud, falsifying documents and even extortion). What we did is, we rounded up what evidence we had on her (for stealing from our fund) and we handed all the to the prosecutor, who was investigating her case (working on her corruption charges at that time, it would give a great profile of the person, who steals from her son). The trial was delayed several times ( due to her knowing "some people"). But we eventually, we put her under so much stress, she couldn't even think straight. We sometimes wrote messages on her FB page asking for her confession to the police and even sending emails to her detailing her "SCAM".

After a while she was making even bigger mistakes. She was trying to avoid this trial, as much as possible. She wouldn't want to be confronted by "stealing from a prom fund, from her son". Her actions got to her fast. There are still ongoing corruption investigations (3 I know of) as well as abuse of powers as a public official. There is also a warrant to arrest her (don't know if they really did). Since the last trial of another scam, she even had to pawn her house, sell her car even her son's motorcycle. She's now in hiding.

John didn't make it far either. As a spoiled brat he was unable to find a steady job (had like 8 Jobs in 2 years, and dropped out of college after only one winter semester). Rumors have it he deals in pot nowadays. The only person I pity, is EM's husband, John's father. He was the only actual nice guy in their family, even stood up for me once in primary school. EM didn't want to pay money she borrowed from a bunch of other people on HIS name, so she made him announce bankruptcy and possible insanity. To this day, he is still married to her (as far as I know). As I remember him, he once told me "family is the most important thing a man can look up to, to make him feel proud, to fell like you a part of something". Now, I feel like, he has nowhere else to go, but to stay with her.

​

Long story short; EM steals money from our fund, we put pressure on her and give up evidence in court to show what b*tch she is in court, EM tries to avoid everybody.

(source) story by (/u/TDuranteTech)

[sarahegerton96]

Field Trip(Dennis Severs)

This was requested by the amazing @primaba11erina, I hope you like it babe it was really fun for me to write and I hope I done it justice and its what you had imagined it would turn out like :) Please excuse any mistakes I edited it but may have missed some :) really sorry it took me so long :)

Summary:

Y/N was a first grade teacher who had arranged for her class to go on a field trip to the local fire station where her boyfriend works( none of the kids know Y/N and Dennis are together) so the firemen could teach the kids about fire safety and what to do in the event of a fire, seeing her boyfriend interact with all the kids made her heart flutter, she knew she always wanted kids someday and after seeing Dennis today she made the decision that she was ready and decided she would tell Dennis when he got home this evening in a rather exciting way ;)  

*BEEP BEEP BEEP* the sound of Y/N's alarm going off woke her, groaning as she rolled over  to find her phone on the nightstand to silence the alarm. Thank god today was the last day of the school term, no more 6am starts, she could have a lie on and enjoy the summer with her wonderful boyfriend Dennis she though to herself as she made her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day, after showering and getting dressed she made her way downstairs where she was met with the smell of bacon and coffee and the sight of her boyfriend sitting at the table shirtless sipping of his coffee and scrolling through his phone.

"Morning babe" he said smiling as he noticed you walk into the kitchen, "good morning Den" you replied as you walked over to him kissing him as he pulled you into his lap inhaling the scent of your coconut shampoo on your freshly washed hair, "mmm you smell delicious babe, I bet you taste even better" he mumbled against you as he trailed kissed down your neck sucking gently at your sweet spot just below your ear. "Den not now I've to get to work" you said hesitantly as you tried to pull away, unsuccessful in your attempts as he tightened his grip on you. "Babe its only 6:25, you don't have to leave until 7:45, we've got plenty of time" he said as he sunk he teeth into the skin of your collarbone, sighing you finally gave in as you melted into his topless torso, his hands sliding beneath the waistband of your leggings fingers gentle brushing over the thin material of your panties..."Shit babe its 7:15, I've only 30 minutes to have breakfast and get to the school" you say as your pulling on your panties and leggings looking around for where you bra and top landed after Dennis tore them off you. "Relax babe your class is going on their field trip today to the station aren't they? you'll have plenty of time you can afford to be a few mins late" he says as hes zipping up his trousers. " you go finish getting ready and I'll get your breakfast and coffee ready, yeah?" he says placing a reassuring kiss to your lips, "thank you babe" you hurry off to the bathroom to fix your hair and brush your teeth.

You arrived back in the kitchen to see Dennis has your coffee and breakfast ready on the table as promised. "Den babe where are you ?" you called out as you sat down to have breakfast, looking at your phone the time read 7:25am, phew I still have 20 minutes left, "In the bedroom babe, be down in a few" he calls from the bedroom. Ten minutes later I had finished my breakfast and was putting my cup and plate in the sink when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist and Dennis softly kissing my neck, I leaned into his touch and kiss sighing contently wishing that I didn't have to leave for work. "I wish you didn't have to leave babe" he says as if he just read my mind, "Me too babe but today is the last day and I'm all yours" you purr in his ear making him groan, you and Dennis spend the next 10 minutes in a very deep handsy make out against the kitchen counter, you reluctantly break away to check the time and notice its time for you to leave. Dennis hesitantly lets you go after try to pursued you to call in sick you kiss him goodbye and leave for work.

****15 minutes later*****

When you arrive at the school the principal calls you into the office, "Y/N can I talk to you for a minute please?" "Of course whats up?" worrying that your going to get into trouble for being 5 minutes late trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this as I know you were busy today packing up your classroom while your class was going on a field trip to the fire station but Ms.Madden has called in sick and wont be able to assist Sarah on the trip so could you please go with Sarah?" "Oh em yeah sure, of course" you stuttered out a bit surprised. "Great thank you so much they leave in 45 minutes, meeting outside at the fire assembly point" she says "I'll be ready" I say as I walk out of the office towards my classroom debating on whether to text Dennis to inform him that I will be going but decided against and to surprise him, I have 45 minutes to try pack up as much of my room as possible so I get to work boxing things up.

****45 minutes later****

Once all the kids were loaded onto the bus, permission slips were checked and a head count done we were on our way to the fire station, it was only 30 minutes to the fire station, along the way the kids played games and sang songs to pass the time, once we arrived at the station we gathered the kids up and gave them all name tags and done another headcount to make sure we had everyone. Kev one of the main firemen greeted us and showed us to one of the main halls to wait for the rest of the firemen, they were on their way back from a call for a house fire, 10 minutes later Dennis and 2 other firemen that you didn't recognize walked into the the hall laughing and joking, when suddenly Dennis stopped abruptly in his tracks and his eyes going wide as he saw you standing there clearly surprised as he wasn't expecting to see you. "What are you doing here he said" still trying to recover from the shock of seeing you and not draw attention to you's, "Ms.Madden called in sick so I had to cover for her" you say smirking quickly as you walked off leaving him standing there.

"Right so boys and girls today were going to be learning about fire safety and what to do in the event of a fire" Kev says to get the attention of the kids, all the kids immediately stop talking and listen to Kevin explain all about the do's and don'ts of of what to do and what not to do in the event of a fire. All the kids sat there mouths open in awe of what Kevin had to say, 20 minutes later Kevin asked  had any of the kids got any questions before they done the tour of the fire station, a few of the kids asked some really good questions you were impressed by them. "Now if yous would like to form an orderly line and follow me we will begin the tour" Kev said, all the kids scrambled to get in line quickly and they were on their way, as you were walking out you felt yourself being pulled into a room just off to the side, and a pair of lips come in contact with yours in a hungry kiss and a pair of hands grabbing my ass, "Dennis we cant, not here someone will find us" you moan out as he continues his assault on your mouth, hips lips moving down your neck sucking and nipping just below your ear, loosing all the will to fight against him your hands trail up his back and into his hair tugging at it now it's his turn to moan against your neck, he grinds his hips against you and you can feel a very prominent boner in his pants, one of your hands leaves his hair to palm over it earning another moan from him, "Oh god Y/N the things you do to me, you think I would have gotten enough of you this morning after pounding into you on the kitchen table" you cant take it anymore and drop to your knees in front of him, undoing his zipper and taking him into your mouth without any warning, "Shit babe don't stop please j-just like that" he moans out as he bucks his hips causing you to gag on his dick, with that he grabs your hair holing you in place as he cumming down your throat, just then the door swings open and Kevin stops dead when he sees whats going on in front of him, "I guess i'll just say that yous 2 went off to get the kids fire men hats and certificates" smirking as he turns and walks out heading back towards the kids and Sarah. You look up at Dennis finally swallowing his load as he tucks himself back into his pants and helps you up capturing your lips in a sweet kiss tasting himself on your lips. "That was so fucking hot babe, as much as I'd love to return the favor we better get back" you bite your lip and nod.

You's make your way back to the group carrying a stack of plastic firemen hats and the kids certs from the trip to the station handing each kid a hat and putting their certs in to one side to hand out at the end of the trip. "Who wants to go down the pole?" Dennis says "Me" all the kids shout at once and yous all burst out laughing, "okay hope on" he says as he lifts up one of the kids and showing them how to hold on, "Ready" he says once the kid is in position and making sure Kev is at the end to catch them as they go down "Yeah" he lets her go and she squeals in delight as she slides down the pole. You watch Dennis interact with the kids over the next hour, playing, laughing , joking and showing them all the tools in the fire truck, one of the girls tugs on Dennis trousers and he bends down, "Yes sweetheart how can I help you?" he says smiling "could I please try on your fireman coat?" she asks "of course you can" he says as he takes it off the hook and drapes it over her shoulders folding the sleeves up as its to big on her and zips it up, he picks he up and turns to you with her in his arms, "How's she look" he says smiling at you and his smile is such a happy content beaming smile, you breath hitches in your throat and tears well in your eyes as you look at the love of your life holding the little girl in his arms and you cant help but think of what an amazing dad Dennis would make one day. "You look absolutely beautiful sweetheart" you say half taking to the little girl and half taking to Dennis.

You and Dennis have always talked about having kids one day and seeing him with all the kids today makes you realize that you don't want to wait anymore, you love Den and he loves you so what are yous waiting for, it was in that moment that you decided you were going to tell Dennis that you were ready to start a family with him, the thought made you get butterflies and you couldn't wait to get home and get everything ready, 15 minutes later it was time to start loading the kids back on the coach but not before a group photo for the kids to remember, they stood in 2 line holding their certs up and their fireman hats on Sarah and Kevin stood at one end and me and Dennis stood at the other end both Kevin and Dennis fully clothed in their uniforms, I could feel myself getting hornier as Dennis stood there his arm around my waist. "Say cheese"Kev shouted as the picture was taken, "Now kids time to go can you all please say thank you Kevin and Dennis for taking time out of their busy day to have us and for such an amazing fun filled and educational day" I say as start to gather the kids "Thank you Dennis Thank you Kevin" all the kids say, "You's are all very welcome" they say. "Sarah can get all the kids loaded onto the bus I'll be with you in a few just want to thank the guys and make sure nobody left anything behind" I say as I walk towards Dennis, "Of course"Sarah replies. "Are you okay babe? you looked quite upset earlier on you had tears in your eyes? was it because Kev caught us?" he asked concerned, "No no quite the opposite actually, but before I could explain Kev interrupted us walking over standing there smirking  "What you smirking at?" I asked knowing too well what it was, "So Y/N what was that I caught you's two up to earlier?" amusement laced through his voice, "Well Kevin what did it look like to you?" I replied with just as much amusement "It looked like you were sucking Dennis here off in the supply closet" he said with another smirk "A+ for you Kev, you listened in sex ed" I say with a smirk as I kiss Dennis goodbye. I walk towards the bus, I stopped "Oh Dennis" I say as I turned me head "Yeah babe?" he says "Wear the uniform home tonight" I say with a wink and continue making my way to the bus trying to hide the blush that makes it way over my face hearing all the lads hooting and hollering, "Dennis is getting some tonight" I hear Kev say as I step onto the bus.

We arrive back at the school 45 minutes later and all the kids parents are waiting to collect them, I am bombarded with thank you gifts from my students and parents which is so sweet I thank them and the parents and make my way to the car, I put all the gifts in the boot, wave goodbye to my colleagues wish them a lovely summer and I'm finally on my way home to get ready for my fun filled evening with Den, I stop by Victoria's Secret to pick up some lingerie I settle on a red lacy corset and matching panties and and some red stockings, these will surely get a reaction out of Den I think as I pay for them and make my way home to start dinner.

****1 hour later****

Once the spaghetti bolognese was ready I left it in the oven to keep warm I decided against garlic bread, I set the table and went to have a quick shower to freshen up and slipped into my newly purchased lingerie especially for this occasion, I slipped on my black silk robe and made my way back down to the kitchen, I went to the fridge and decided between which bottle of wine to open I had gotten 3 as thank you gifts off my students(the perks of being a teacher, free wine :P), I settled on the Rose wine  just as I poured myself a glass I heard keys in the door and I knew Dennis was home the butterflies returned and I prepared myself for the news I was planning on telling him and hoping that he wanted it too, "Babe I'm ho-" he cut himself off as he saw me standing there in a black silk robe with the lingerie peeking out he stood there biting his lip as his eyes raked over my body, "Oh well hello to you to babe, like what you see because I sure do" I said as I eyed him standing there in his uniform the wetness pooling between my legs all I wanted to do was pounce on him but I had a carefully organised plan, so I refrained myself. I cleared my throat and spoke up "Ready for dinner babe?" still standing there he hadn't said a word just stared hungrily, he snapped out of it "Sorry babe, yeah I am I just wasn't expecting to see you dressed in that and to be honest id much rather go straight to dessert" he bit his lip again and waled towards me and kissed me hungrily squeezing my ass, "Hmm babe as much as I would love that too lets eat first" I said as I broke away from him and got the spaghetti out of the oven and dished up some for the two of us. I took a deep breath as I prepared to tell Dennis about my decision. "So babe you know how we've talked about wanting kids some day?" I say and Dennis nods, "Well today when I seen you with the kids it made me realize about how amazing you would be as a father and when you put your jacket on the girl from my class and picked her up and I seen the smile on your face it just made my heart swell you looked so happy, and content and well that's why I teared up because I was picturing that being you with our son or daughter some day and well I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want that day to be sooner rather than later, Dennis I'm ready to have kids if you are?" I said as I look up I see Dennis with tears streaming down his cheeks, before I could apologize for upsetting him he was up and across the room grabbing my face in his hands and kissing me, "Your not upset?" I said "Of course not babe I've wanted kids with you for months now but I was just to scared to say anything as I didn't want to push you into it Y/N I would love nothing more than to start trying for a baby with you" he said as he kissed me with so much love now I was crying, we broke apart laughing as we were both a weeping mess. "Well what are we waiting for, lets gets baby making" he said wiggling his eyebrows picking me up bridal style and making our way to the bedroom.

He put me down at the foot of the bed, undid my robe and stood there mouth open when it fell to the floor to reveal all my lingerie to him, he groaned as he brought our lips together in a passionate loving kiss, his hands roaming over my body caressing me lovingly, I slid my hands up his jacket and pulled the zip down and pushed it down his shoulders, wrapping my arms around his neck his lips trailed down my neck, his hands working skillfully on undoing the corset, he slips it from my body effortlessly and I slip his suspenders down his shoulders and work on unbuttoning his trousers and tug them down and he steps outs of them, he makes quick work of my panties and next is his top and boxers I'm just left standing in my stocking, I go to remove them but he stops me, "Leave them on" he says biting his lip as he hungrily looks me up and down. He picks me up laying me on the bed hovering over me kissing from my lips down my body taking his time so much love and passion in every kiss until he's facing my dripping core. His tongue makes contact with my clit and I hiss out in pleasure, he teases my opening with two fingers gently easing them in and curling them slightly hitting the spot inside me perfectly while continuing his assault on my clit his fingers pump in and out as a steady, my orgasm is fast approaching, I can feel it in the pit of my stomach the tightness getting more intense as the seconds go by. "Shit babe I'm so close" I manage to pant out "Cum for me babe, I want you to to cum for me" he says and with that my vision goes white, my back arches off the bed and I cum harder than I've ever came before clenching around his fingers, his fingers still pumping in and out of me helping me through my orgasm. As I come down from my high I grab him by the face pilling him up to bring our lips together in a slow lust filled kiss, I moan as I can taste myself on his lips, our tongues move in sync, he lines himself up with my core and slowly pushes himself in staring deeply into my eyes and lacing our finger together, he waits for a minute so I can adjust to him. "Shit babe your so tight" he moans out as he slowly starts to move our eye contact not breaking once he speeds up a bit setting a steady yet pleasurable pace, the sound of soft moans and grunts fill the room as we make slow passionate love,beads of sweat begin to form on his forehead and chest and I know he's close, he shifts slightly and hits the spot within me and I'm cumming again, "shit babe I'm coming, come with me" I moan out and that's all it takes for  him his hips begin to loose rhythm and he comes with a grunt staring deeply, lovingly into my eyes my eyes flutter closed and I bite my lip as I feel him fill me up, I open my eyes to see him still staring at me and there's no much loves in his eyes, his eyes fill with tears as he bends down capturing my lips with his, "I love you so much Y/N, that was amazing" he says as a tear rolls down his cheek, I wipe it away with my thumb, "I love you too so much Den". He slips from me and goes to the bathroom and comes back with a cloth and cleans me up tosses it to the dirty hamper and climbs in beside me and pulls me into his chest whispering sweet nothings in my ear kissing my shoulder softly, we fall asleep cuddled up in each other arms after making the most sweet passionate love and hopefully a baby.

****8 weeks later****

I check my phone to discover I'm late, 10 days late, I rush to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test, I hurry home to take them, I finish peeing on the tests and wash my hands, "Babe I'm home"  I hear Dennis call from downstairs "I'm in the toilet" I call back as I dry my hands, looking down at the tests there's 2 pink lines on both them I gasp as I realize I'm pregnant, one hand goes to rub over my stomach as one picks up the tests, I walk into the bedroom from our en-suite, to see Dennis sitting our bed, he looks as me and notices the look of shock/ excitement on my face, "Babe whats wrong? what you got there" he says noticing I'm holding something.

"Babe I'm pregnant" I exclaimed in pure joy and happiness as tears streamed down my face, "What are you serious"he says as he jumps up running over to me looking at the tests in my hand "Yes, Den your going to be  a dad" I say he breaks down in tears too overjoyed at the news he picks me up and spins me around kissing me deeply, he puts me back down and looks into my eyes. "Marry Me Y/N" he says, "Yes  of course I will Dennis" I say, he kisses me and in that moment I couldn't be any happier, a baby on the way and engaged to the love of my life.

*****THE END*****

[freelance-arc]

Technical nonsense, overwhelm, and how to overcome them.

Heyo!

It’s been a little while since my last post. Of course, there’s been stuff going on, I just haven’t put any of it into a blog post, YET.

Unwelcome Tech Nonsense.

The essence of the back story is this; I bought a book, it inspired me, I attempted to do some graphics work based on that inspiration, the computery side of things let me down.

Bad. Times.

FRUSTRATING times…

Because, as you know, when you spend hours of your precious time trying to achieve something, to make progress, It’s REALLY flipping annoying when that work and time amounts to nothing.

The book in question is by a guy called Sean Vosler (Book link here; https://app.increase.academy/most-important-skill-guide ).

I liked his email sequence, the book itself looked nice (literally, visually very good). So I took the plunge and made the purchase. It’s a great piece, definitely recommended. He’s worked for Tai Lopez amongst others, and tbh, that was what clinched it for me.

Anyway, reading through, I was struck at how he uses font as well as phrasing to imply tonality. Copywriting is sales in print, and the more you can convey emotion, raising certainty and reducing objections the better.

This was the inspiration.

So I fired up Spark and started creating. 

3 Hours. 3 Hours on a Saturday afternoon, adding text, moving, resizing, blah blah. This was kinda the POINT of the exercise, to see what I could make up, especially being a complete graphics noob. But Spark’s quite intuitive, so it’s not so bad. 

Feeling all smug and pleased with myself I downloaded the image I’d so finely crafted. Guess I also downloaded all the unwelcome tech nonsense too. (I’m being dramatic, it wasn’t a virus or nothin, just a big pile of steamy digital baloney).

Darn. Half of it was missing.

F. L. I. P.

I’ll get right to the point. If anything like this happens to you, 

CLEAR OUT YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE.

To fix the problem, I cleared out the cache in Chrome for the previous month. Issue solved.

Apparently, if the cache becomes corrupted for any reason, it affects the browsers loading time, downloads, it can freeze unexpectedly… All the issues I was having. 

I’d cleared out old files, deleted unused programs, defragged. I ran updates just in case. None of them fixed the problems of my handiwork getting mashed.

So yea, don’t make my mistake. Any issues with your browser or web-based applications, clear out the cache FIRST. It’ll save you a lot of swearing I can tell you.

(Yea, I know. It leaves a lot to be desired. But it DOES prove the concept.)

Overwhelm.

As you can imagine, dealing with stupid technology when you already have a thousand things to do isn’t productive. It causes a bottleneck. Well, any issue does really. But things start to back up. 

When that thing you’re doing is the next step in your plan, what you’ve based all your other next steps on, you then have to take further time to figure out a workaround or solve it or both. 

Building a business and a dream lifestyle from scratch is a lot of work. Skills need learning, social proof creating, domains set up. Hell, you gotta work out exactly what you’re selling, who you’re selling it to, and how you’ll sell it to them. And THAT’S the easy bit.

I have guests to invite. Microphones to find. Domains to set up, clients to get… Phew.

In my quest for knowledge I’m signing up for everything. Well, 90% of things at least. My mindset is delicate and precious, so anything I feel won’t add good things to it, I don’t chase.

In the meantime though, there’s so much great stuff out there. Loads and loads and loads of it. 

It’s not even hidden, you just have to look for it.

Stuff’s coming in thick and fast. I’ve got about 8 courses to get through, 4 books on the go, and about an hour a day to do it in. 

So anything I do, I’m neglecting something else.

It all kinda stalled me for a bit. It’s difficult to focus on doing a thing when you aren’t sure it’s the right thing to do. As a result, nothing gets done, and that CAN’T HAPPEN.

I went basic. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.

I made a list.

If you’re suffering from Overwhelm make a list. 

Make it as long as it needs to be, pour your mind out into it, personal, professional, the lot. Once it’s down on paper, or the screen or whatever, you don’t have to remember it any more.

Then, prioritise.

The list I made showed all the things that had been swimming around in my brain hole. But I could see them clearly. Instead of things bobbing to the top occasionally, making me panic because I’d forgotten about them, they were all there as plain as day.

The most important thing on that list was writing practice. Obvious. But not obvious when everything’s weighing on you and you aren’t sure what’s the right way to get stuff moving again.

So I’d suggest if you write, then write. If you dance, then dance. If you draw, draw. Whatever it is that YOU DO, the essence at the core of your dream, then do that.

I started riffing on some sales copy ideas using random household stuff. Trying to make it compelling, using copywriting formulas AIDA and the S hook to start with, getting the juices flowing. Creating emotion around Table Salt.

It worked. Seeing those words flowing out felt productive. The wheels were turning again. YES!

The next thing is to see about getting clients. A lot of the stuff that bogged me down was related to Freelance Arc. But FA is the story of how I get there to help others get there too. But the vehicle to that success is copywriting. 

I’d gotten lost in the swirl of ideas, easily done. But refocusing is good.

From here out writing will be my main priority for the short term, I’ll keep plugging away at the books for 15 minutes a night before bed, and probably squeezing in little chunks of the courses for 20 mins or so over my morning coffee.

Did you know, 20 minutes a day over a month is 10 hours? Doesn’t sound like much but it adds up. 

Don’t be that person who makes excuses. If you’re short of time, JUST DO SOMETHING!

Future you will thank you, I can tell you.

Follow Freelance Arc at the top of the page for more updates and resources.

Build your dreams.

[livelovelaug-h]

Unplanned consequences

Summary- I can't spoil all of it but it's #9 for miscarriage for my Jack # stories.

Sorry it took me awhile. Probs spelling mistakes. Implied smut some kissing etc. Hahaha enjoy!

Jack x reader

~~

"oh. No no." You had been waiting for a little to see the results.

You had been dating a hunter for about 5 months. things ended about a week ago when you figured he found someone prettier. He'd been hanging around with his girl a lot, so you guess it was just a game to him.

You were pacing back and forth. And now the results were positive. Positive.

positive that your life was going to be turned upside. Positive that the Winchester's would throw you out. You met the Winchester's about 1 year ago on a hunt when you were caught in a trap, good thing they came or you would be Zippo right now.

It was a little weird at first with there mom being back and then her leaving them since you didn't know the whole story at the time. You were there when Jack was born and you've been helping him through. At first you didn't like him much just like Dean but he was so clueless and puppy like that it didnt last long. You guys were pretty close and you had a little bit of feelings for him but you pushed them down since ... You seen him being born not that long ago. He was practically a baby.... But grown.

Jack was very protective of you which you loved and didn't have because your ex the last month before he left wasn't like that. I guess you knew why now. You guys were young though, you knew it wasn't gonna last forever your only 24.

Back to reality you always wanted kids but not when the dad was .... You know. And at this age ? With this life ? Wasn't really a paying job. Guess it's time to leave. After you cry of course. You cried for about 20 mins when you heard a knock on your door. You wiped your face very quickly. "Who is it?"

"it's Jack Sam and Dean said that they found a case and was wondering if you wanted to come."

"um I'm honestly not feeling too well."

"what's wrong maybe I can heal you."

"no it's just a little bug. Thanks anyways."

"no problem. I'll go tell them."

"okay!"

~~~~

You started packing everything in the room they Gave you. You looked around and didn't see anything left behide. Sam and Dean yelled goodbye and 30 mins later you heard Sam and Dean leave. You looked around taking in the image trying not to cry. You closed the door and walked away starting a new life, Sam and Dean wouldn't be able to handle of this and they didnt need a baby in the house to worry about, hearing it cry and keeping them up. Stealing a car you drove as far away as the bunker would take you. You should probs smash your phone so they don't track you. Maybe tell them your on a hunt or something yeah! That could keep you for at least a month.

"Ugh "

After 7 hours of driving you pulled into a hotel to get some shut-eye. You should probably see a doctor. Gotta find an identity to steal since you don't have any insurance. After three days you finally got a text from Dean-

" where are you?"

"I found a case I'll see ya later."

"a case ? Where ? I thought you were sick."

"I got better it's okay."

"y/n? Where's the case? You shouldn't go alone."

"I'm not a hunter is there already."

"then tell me."

"don't worry about it I'll be fine. Your not dad okay? I'll be in touch. Take care :)"

'Somethings not right' Dean thought.

"hey Dean where is y/n?"

"uh, on a case she'll be home soon."

"Oh, alright. Wanna watch a movie?"

~~~~

3 days later

You been updating Dean about the case trying to make up excuses saying you don't see anything and your hitting a dead end. Maybe you'll come home after checking it out one last time.

"are you sure you don't want help?"

"I'm sure, Dean thanks."

"okay, well hurry up so we can do game night!" Hahaha what a dork you laughed.

~~~~~

Day 5

"you some more leads and it's going good should be done by tomorrow.

~~~~

End of Day 6

Finally "got the son of a bitch" and "you'll drive home tomorrow you're tired."

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you told them. Maybe they might not want you in the bunker but they would still want to help and see you. You were thinking about telling them so you texted Dean saying you had some good news for him alongside the others.

You started getting a pain a little in your stomach and you decided to finally see a doctor. You fell asleep - waking up to a little lain and some blood? Down there wth? You couldn't have gotten your period. You ran to the bathroom and you felt something plop.

That's not good. You knew what it was. Not that you really wanted a baby but you were kinda excited. Negative. You cried more now about two hours and your phone buzzed. Dean asking if you were on the road yet. you didn't answer. About an hour later Dean texted saying "hello?"

You couldn't move from crying and eventually you couldn't cry anymore so you went out to get some liquor. Two bottles of rum and you were definitely drunk. You cried and screamed and broke things and slept, and cried and repeat.

It had been too long since you answered dean so he went to tell Sam to go track your phone, when he walked in with something.

"What's that?"

"how long has y/n been gone?"

"about 10 days why?" Jack says.

"guys" he turns the thing around. "I don't think she's coming back."

We had narrowed eyes and eyebrows.

"she's pregnant."

"oh"

"ahhh ouchh." Jack listened and heard your SCREAAMING and pain.

"Jack what's wrong?"

"it's y/n, UHHHH..... Shes In pain. She's screaming. .... "I have to go." He said and flapped away.

"Y/n calm down calm down. what happened ?"

You gasped because he startled you.

"Jack not now." You screamed while crying.

"you're hurt. Tell me what's wrong?"

"nothing."

He grabbed you and sat you down so you wouldn't keep throwing things. you cried into him for about 5 mins when he asked you again what happened.

"did someone hurt you?"

"no Jack "

"is it because your pregnant?"

That made you want to cry more. "No."

"I'm sorry did I say something to upset you?"

"no......it's okay. How did you know that?"

"Sam found something and said you were."

"oh. Great okay." He wiped your face. "Please tell me"

"fine. I had miscarriage okay."

"what is that?"

"it's where the baby like... Dies and it wont be born."

"oh. Why not?"

"I don't know Jack, I don't know"

"Well it's okay I'll be here for you every step of the way and like Sam says it'll take time."

"yeah.. yeah thank you." He grabbed your face.

"I love you y/n"

"really?"

"Yes. Almost ever since I laid eyes on you. Your beautiful"

"thank you."

Your faces were so close and you could literally see every pore and every vein in his eyes. But his eyes were beautiful. 3-2-1-.

His lips were on you. You were shocked. They were so soft but ... You weren't expecting that.

You kissed back and he pulled away.

"I'm sorry I'm not good at it."

"no your fine. It's okay "

"maybe it's not the right time."

You laughed "don't worry it's the right time." You pulled him back to your lips and sucked on his lips. This was the only thing that matter at the moment. You ran your hair through his hair and laid him on his back so you were on top. You straddled Him and you guys both explored each other mouths. It was getting so heated to where you guys where dry humping. You ran your hair all over his body and he did the same.

"I like this" he says.

you laughed "I like this too." 😉😉

[arvadthecursed]

1-100 >:)

you bastard ;p ♡

tagging @nonbinarist @tiana-ships-gayngel since they also sent in asks off anon!

1. What is you middle name? Rae

2. How old are you? 19

3. When is your birthday? December 14

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius w Gemini Rising and Pisces Descending

5. What is your favorite color? Pastel pink or pastel purple!

6. What’s your lucky number? 7

7. Do you have any pets? yes! I have a kitty named Gizmo!

8. Where are you from? Texas, currently living in NE

9. How tall are you? 4′11″/~150 cm

10. What shoe size are you? 3 or 4 in children’s/teens, 4.5 in women’s

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 5

12. What was your last dream about? I remember being dressed in Harley Quinn pajamas I think?

13. What talents do you have? Writing, drawing, and good interpersonal skills

14. Are you psychic in any way? probably not lol if I am I just don’t know it yet

15. Favorite song? Would That I - Hozier

16. Favorite movie? oooh that’s a tough one. I’m gonna say Alien, Bladerunner, or Annihilation

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Arvad the Cursed LOL that was a real hard one ;p

18. Do you want children? yes! I would love at least one daughter, but I would like 2-3 kids total!

19. Do you want a church wedding? not sure tbh. I kind of flip flop between wanting a church wedding or an outdoor wedding.

20. Are you religious? No

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? No22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I’ve been pulled over for speeding but I got off with a warning

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? not yet!

24. Baths or showers? Showers!

25. What color socks are you wearing? none at the moment

26. Have you ever been famous? on tumblr LOL

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I think being a mid-size celebrity would be cool, so I could still go out and stuff, but I’d still have some fame.

28. What type of music do you like? I really like rock, pop, and folk!

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I always sleep curled up in the fetal position lmao

32. How big is your house? It’s middle size, I think, not too big, not too small.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cocoa Dyno-bites cereal

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes, in gym class

36. Favorite clean word? Hmm, I really love words so this is tough. I’ll go with simulacrum tho! 

37. Favorite swear word? the classic “fuck”

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 30ish hours

39. Do you have any scars? Yes, I have a burn scar on my right hand and a scar on my right shin from falling down the stairs.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes

41. Are you a good liar? not at all lmao.

42. Are you a good judge of character? I am now but when I was younger not so much

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do a decent Russian accent.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Not usually but I know my Texas twang comes out sometimes lol

45. What is your favorite accent? Russian or any Hispanic accents, they’re so pretty!

46. What is your personality type? ENFP-T

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? a nice dress I bought for special occasions/interviews, it was $110

48. Can you curl your tongue? No

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Oh absolutely, my dad let me watch Eight Legged Freaks when I was 5 and it fucked me up real good

52. Favorite food? Fettucine alfredo or pancakes

53. Favorite foreign food? sweet and sour chicken w/ fried rice and lo mein

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, but it’s an organized chaos

55. Most used phrase? “hmm. fuck” mentally, “umm, excuse me, please” irl

56. Most used word? “oof”

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 15-20 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? No, I wouldn’t say so.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? gotta get that c r u n c h

60. Do you talk to yourself? In the car I do

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes

62. Are you a good singer? Ehhhhhh lol.

63. Biggest Fear? being alone and unloved

64. Are you a gossip? Only to my best friends, but 95% of the time I prefer to just sit and listen.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Oh that’s tough. I’ll go with Sunshine tho!

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like my hair short. On other people I don’t mind either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If I’m given time and a few hints I could!

68. Favorite school subject? English or Anatomy

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert despite me being unable to Shut The Fuck Up online

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No but I want to

71. What makes you nervous? Is “existing” an acceptable answer?

72. Are you scared of the dark? No

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if it’s something major. Most of the time I just leave it alone.

74. Are you ticklish? Sort of. 

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, I was vice president of my school’s NSDA chapter and head of extemp in speech!

77. Have you ever drank underage? No, I haven’t drank at all.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No

79. Who was your first real crush? A boy named Andres back in 4th grade. I made him hold my hand on our way back from an amusement park field trip.

80. How many piercings do you have? Just 1 right now, my ears. I’m going to get my nose repierced soon.

81. Can you roll your Rs? yes

82. How fast can you type? Very fast, I think the last time I checked it was over 150 words per min?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast anymore LOL

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color is your eyes? Green-gray

86. What are you allergic to? Pollen and dander, and I think penicillin?

87. Do you keep a journal? Does my tumblr count?

88. What do your parents do? My dad works at Dollar General and my mom’s a USDA meat inspector.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah, it’s alright lol.

90. What makes you angry? People being cruel for no reason, people refusing to understand others.

91. Do you like your own name? Yes.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes!! For a girl, I like Alice, Ophelia, and Juliette, and for a boy I like Micah, Theo, and Hudson.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I would love to have a girl one day for sure ♡

94. What are you strengths? Compassionate, empathetic, and driven.

95. What are your weaknesses? Needy, indecisive, obsessive.

96. How did you get your name? My maternal grandmother picked the name out for me. She was dying of terminal cancer, and my mother wanted her to pick my name out.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? No

98. Do you have any scars? Already answered

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue stripes!

100. Color of your room? Pink

[rohobi]

Tempus Lovers 1 | (m)

Min Yoongi | Soulmates AU | Time | Accountant Yoongi | Rebel Reader-insert | Plane Crash | Swearing | Angst | Fluff | Smut | Humour | Weird family dynamics | Wholesome Yoongi |  

SUMMARY: ❝Surviving a plane crash, Y/N awakens with the ability to see the time a person has left to live. Running away from her own time and black family money, she meets Min Yoongi on the train, an ordinary man with an extraordinary ability.❞

↳ MASTERLIST

The tenebrosity of days, hours, minutes and seconds, thumped across your wrist with a constant reminder of how little time you had left.

0 years, 0 months, 27 days, 12 hours, 37 minutes and 11 seconds.

You can't have children.

You can't travel the world.

You can't get a degree.

The list of things you don't have time to do outweighed practically everything you could. You were being chased by the hands on the clock and time was hunting you down.

Tracing over the numbers with the pad of your thumb, you drop your hand back to your side. There was no point in even looking at your damn clock, you'd just be wasting a minute doing so.

"How are you feeling about your big day?" a meager hotel employee asks, perspiration dripping down his neck. Your fingers catch onto the white chantilly lace of your wedding dress as you stare into the mirror in front of you.

"Nothing," you admit, watching him nervously nod his head. "I am more worried about the heat here. Dubai is hot. Too hot."

He laughs genuinely. "Yes miss, it is hot here but the venue will keep you cool. Shall I fix you a cold drink?"

"No, thank you, I am okay for now." You nod your head before he politely walks away.

A woman behind you rubs a subtle highlight onto the exposed skin of your back. You were against the open keyhole back and the illusion bateau neckline that flowed down your arms. It made you feel like you could blend into the walls of the luxurious penthouse bathroom if you posed in front of one.

"Darling, your dress is screaming at me," your wedding planner squeals from the door, albeit only having met her twice during these proceedings because you never actually had a choice in planning it. "The scalloped semi-cathedral length finished with an eyelash trim is so you. I knew it would be.

"I can't run in this dress so I guess it serves its purpose," you whisper.

"If only your mother was still alive to see you in it." She says, painful words that claw straight into your chest. No inch of empathy detected, a fresh wound still bound tightly around the trauma you experienced in her death, an accident that nearly claimed you too.

You ignore the sudden increase in your heart rate as you avoid responding to her comments and instead watch your assistant cover your face with the veil. You watch as it falls down your sides in the mirror, the classic white intensified by the colored rays of the sun gaping through the adjacent stained windows.

"You look beautiful Y/N. I wish my wedding could be like yours," Elaine whispers, leaning down to fix the bottom of your dress. "You're like a princess, I'm so happy to be apart of a fairy tale!"

"Elle," You smile at the intern who could almost be your friend if you trusted her, "It can be, do you have a partner?"

She shakes her head as she stands beside you. You watch her in the mirror as she discreetly wipes the sweat off her forehead with a napkin. "I don't, I think I'll be forever alone at this point, I'm getting pretty old. I won't have much time left for kids. Although it's nice to live through you on this special day."

You gaze at the red numbers on her wrist as she throws the tissue into the bin. 47 years, 9 months, 16 days, 12 hours, 9 minutes and 34 seconds. "You have plenty of time Elaine, you just need time for yourself. Have a break, explore the world, find your love. Live."

She gapes at you, not expecting the advice. "T-thank you miss, I-I'll do that."

Elaine puts a finger up to her ear as she tries to listen to the sudden voice screaming in her earpiece. You stretch out to your iPhone, carelessly hanging on the edge of the side table, as the staff behind you try to fix your veil as you move.

"There's no point in checking," your primary assistant, Mark, whispers as if appearing from nowhere. Leaning towards you, he pads a rose colored lipstick from the back of his hand onto your lips. "All emails have been taken care of. I've personally responded to your families requests to sneak a peek at your dress with a resounding no and your father isn't coming to your wedding."

Looking at anything but the probing green eyes in front of you, you sigh. Whoever decided that he'd look good with black eyeliner on his waterline on today of all days, needs a hard slap, you can barely look at him with the intensity of both makeup and seemingly perverse glare. "Who is walking me down the aisle then?"

Mark lowers his gaze, hands faltering awkwardly. "I'm sorry, no one at this point."

"Oh," Trying your best to appear distraught, you pucker your lips and will yourself to cry at the premise but God only knows that beyond the facade of hurt, you would be hiding a smile. The plan is working perfectly. "I can walk myself then. It's fine. I got myself to this point, I can keep going."

Mark leans in to give you a hug but your fingers tap incessantly on the screen of your phone between your bodies as you quickly send a text away. "My sincerest apologies, at least you look beautiful," he whispers, his hot breath fluttering down your neck eliciting the tinest set of goosebumps on your arms. "The most beautiful I've ever seen in fact."

You shiver as you step away from him.

"Thank you." He rubs your shoulders before pulling away. The uncomfortable feeling you get around him resurfaces, but you won't have it long enough to care.

Soon, he and all of this will be gone.

"It's time!" a man shouts from the door, "We need the bride downstairs and into the carriage in 6 minutes."

"It's time?" you ask, blinking at Mark. He smiles at you, mistaking your concern with nerves.

"They bumped up the time since your father is no longer coming."

"Come on!" the man shouts again, clapping his hands loudly. "It's time, we have to go now."

Bells begin to ring in the distance.

You want to yell at the man to shut up, who the hell rushes a bride on their wedding day. You want to move in your own time because damn these heels hurt but one look at your wrist prompts you to move quickly towards him.

Time waits for no one.

"Let's go," you take a deep breath as he holds the door open for you. "Bride walking towards eagle," he whispers into his shirt. "I repeat, the bride is walking towards eagle, over."

You wish you could go back to before when your life wasn't ruled by the hour; when you couldn't see your time because it wasn't always like this, knowing how long you had left to live.

It wasn't an ability you inherited or woke up with on your 16th birthday. In fact, most of your tempus seeing friends gained the ability after walking through the light at the end of the tunnel and coming back.

They don't even remember what it was like before they could see time.

For you, however, it was on the 2nd of February, 2016 in a Bombardier CL604, some 30 thousand feet in the air when your wrist was last bare. You remember it clearly because it was the night everything had changed.

And the night your mother had passed away.

//

Before you were hurled from the burning jet fuel and swallowed whole by the charcoal night; before the crimson from the bodies sprawled out in ghastly angles soaked into the earth around you, your mother had been briefing you on the corruption investigation currently plaguing their empire.

Their being the elusive family you were preparing to marry.

"Now, darling, we have a meeting with the SK Group this afternoon, I need you to attend," she says pointedly, eyes never leaving her papers but voice aimed at you. "I want you wearing the silk lavender number that makes you look like a young lady. I can't have you embarrassing the family name again with that Gucci dress that made every streetworker in the city look damn classy."

"But it was Gucci?" you whisper, aware that simply talking back to the woman could mean trouble but you were tired, you'd been traveling in the family private jet all day to attend these meetings with her.

"Excuse me?" She snorts, pointing her chin in the ear. "I don't care if it's Gucci or Chanel, it made you look classless. Tasteful designer fashion, please. Never show the knees or the shoulders unless, in the bedroom, you hear me?"

"I-I will be wearing something more conservative, I promise."

She finally looks up at you, her soft brown eyes melt into yours. Her voice is soft but authoritative and you knew to keep your responses short. "Thank you."

You nod, tentatively rubbing your hands down your thighs. "Yes, mother."

"Governor, please, tell me how is your wife?" she turns away from you, her voice lowering in tone. She drops the document into her lap as you watch the animated expression on her face.

She was one tactful woman.

And you were an innocent witness to her deceit.

Sitting comfortably with your puffer jacket wrapped protectively around your frame. With an earbud stuffed into one ear behind your hair as you listened to classical music.

You had forgone the seat belt, trusting in the family pilot for the millionth flight of your life. You were 20 years old, fresh into college studying a degree in Political Science and International Relations and working in a high paid position with your father.

And this was supposed to be a routine trip back from Singapore.

No one was supposed to die that night.

Your mother had sat in front of you, seat belt trapping her against the mahogany leather seat behind piles of legal paperwork. Other than your mother and you, a party of 6 politicians and a Samsung paralegal sat beside you, listening attentively to every word your mother dripped from her venomous tongue.

Words that you'll never remember but so desperately wish you had.

Her French manicured fingers had been tapping against the pile of documents in front of you, ones that entailed what you presumed to be another detailed plan of corporate engineering. Your mother was as corrupt as they come, a well-educated woman, a Queen of Commerce in her own right.

She was on top of the world.

Additionally, she had just finished explaining her ten-year plan currently in progress, where you would be used as a pawn to marry the son of the SK Group, in an attempt to merge and consolidate more power to the family name.

Both parties had agreed on the financial benefit when you were 16

And you were to marry their son when you turned 21 and presume activities as the Chief Marketing Officer.

You hadn't even met your fiance yet.

It was no secret, chaebol families like yours, dominated the economy and at the time of the crash, your family had amassed immense political power with enough sway to encourage the impeachment of President Park Geun-Hye and influence the countries next president.

It was black money and your family was loaded with it.

The pristine private lives of each and every one of your well-mannered family members, neared impossible for others to manipulate. And it was all thanks to the mother who proved to be adept at keeping control over everyone and everything, even if it meant making potentially problematic people disappear with a snap of her fingers.

It was dirty power, why you didn't think your family would ever be the target of assassinations, blackmail, and terror, was beyond you. Maybe it was naivety secondary to having had lived a sheltered life, who knows.

But you should've known how much danger that put you in.

People in power really only have one way to go when they've reached the top.

And the plane sure as hell went down.

You've described it countlessly being the sole survivor. It had been raining heavily but the flight attendant and the pilots had all shown no sign of distress or malice in their attempts to sooth the governor's anxiety.

There was no turbulence you'd expect in a storm, just a sinking feeling as the plane dropped in the pit of your stomach.

There was nothing out of the ordinary that you had identified.

Sinking into your chair, you had watched the rain slide down the window and the angry thunder clap and crash it's bolt through the sky, threatening to tear the night apart.

It was at 1 AM, half an hour later when the scraping of metal and the sound of shattering glass the plane made as it had hit a hillside in Jeju when everything went wrong.

And you were going to die.

The pressure in the cabin was mounting, you could feel it as the oxygen masks fell above you but the screeching sound of steel twisting and tearing apart ripped through your head before you could even think of grabbing a mask.

The lights had shrouded you all in darkness and the force of the crash had thrown you against your mother in the seat in front of you.

She had tried to wrap her arms around yours, panic sweeping through her body when the plane began to rip apart.

Alarms blared, people screamed, it was deafening.

Why you hadn't worn a seatbelt, no one will ever know.

There wasn't even enough time to register just how bad it was about to become as you tried to hang onto something, as you tried to hang onto your mother, and latch your hands onto her.

Your heart raced in your chest.

Fear screamed in your body.

You weren't going to live through this.

You should've worn your belt.

"Don't let me go!" You shouted as the plane hit the trees. "Don't let me go!"

Your mother stared back at you with an unforgettable amount of utter terror on her usually stoic face as she moved to try and shove you against her.

"Hold me!" she screams back. "Hold on to me!"

But her hands could only touch the ends of your jacket when the plane suddenly hit the ground, hurling you out of the hole in the ceiling and throwing you straight into the downpour in the middle of the dark jungle.

Your life never flashed before your eyes like they said it would. Sure, you were terrified but an alien feeling of calm had taken over your body before you had landed onto the wet earth with a loud thud yards away from the jet, the impact loud as the cracking chorus of broken bones filled the void.

And all you could see as your vision grew hazy, were the ball of flames suddenly erupting from the plane and the warmth it enveloped you

Blood-curdling screams were the last thing you could hear before the numbing sound of the plane exploding burst your eardrums.

And it's the last thing you remember.

Everything after that was a fucking nightmare.

Even from her burning grave, your mother still controlled your life.

You see, broken bones and broken hearts can be mended but contracts your mother sign, last for life.

It was in every world newspaper and all people could talk about. You had been the girl with the money, then you were the girl who had survived the unsurvivable.

But now, two years later, you were the heiress about to have the world's most expensive wedding in the UAE.

Who gives a shit about money when you have no time?

No-one.

Your phone vibrates in your palm as you all wait for the elevator. Checking around you, you sneak a glance at the coded message on the screen. "See you soon. Meet at ground zero. We will wait for you." You watch the message disintegrate as a red apple appears on screen.

The elevator dings above you, alerting you to its arrival.

The doors open.

Tossing the now defunct phone into the bin adjacent to the elevator button, you walk comfortably into the elevator knowing everything was going according to your plan.

"Has it hit you yet that today is going to change your life?" Eloine asks innocently as she presses the ground floor button.

Smirking, you shake your head as the doors close. "Oh, you have absolutely no idea."

No one did.

Because no-one saw it coming.

[takecareof-yourdreamersoul]

Crowley’s Daughter ch.1

Reader x Winchesters

Summary: you are the only offspring of Crowley and now that he is dead there is only one place left for you to go but will the Winchesters ever accept you? That’s a risk you must take.

Warnings: Angst, death, some violence

Word count: 1133

Chapter 1-

Everything happened so quickly that you never really had a chance to process. Your dad, Crowley, the king of hell and the strongest person, well the strongest being, you knew was dead and now you were no longer safe. He told you about the Winchesters once before only saying

“Darling if I die trust only the Winchesters but always be skeptical of them. They may seem tough, but they have a soft spot for orphans”. You laughed doubting there would ever be a day your dad would be gone.

You had been in hiding for three weeks now trying to find out where the Winchesters were but damn were they good. After a month of sketchy motels, you were exhausted and wanted a proper shower. That’s when your scanner went off; sure, you were half demon king of hell, but you also knew how to set up radio scanners and program a computer to search for certain algorithms. And that’s how you found Dean and Sam on a hunt in northern Colorado.

           It wasn’t anything crazy they had tracked a vamp nest to somewhere in between Wyoming and Colorado. After 20 mins of fake badges and questions they knew where to look and went back to their motel room where they were surprised to see someone waiting. Dean thought you looked familiar as he trained his gun on you.

“That would just hurt me not kill me” you say without even sparing a look. Dean cast Sam a look as if to say

“do you know what’s going on because I sure as hell don’t”, Sam only shrugged. After a couple seconds you look up your (e/c) eyes glinting in the light before flashing black only for an instance.

“We should talk”.

After Dean had cuffed you and Sam had drawn a Devils trap for you to sit in did they begin to relax. Although they did not realize that those cheap party tricks had no effect on you after all you were only HALF demon king of hell. You began explaining to them why you came.

“Listen I know you hate me and all but please I need your help and you were the only ones my dad actually kinda liked”.

Dean arched his brow at the comment “and who exactly is your dad” smirking up at him “why Crowley of course”. With that an uncomfortable silence settled over the three of you. Sam stood up and excused him and Dean to talk privately. “Dean what the hell I didn’t think Crowley had a kid” “I didn’t either Sam, you don’t think this is some kind of trick do you?” “I don’t know how do you test to see if someone is the offspring of the king of hell?” “Should we call Cas” “I would”. After they decided Cas was the best option they returned to the room only to be shocked with the fact that you were no longer in cuffs or in the devil’s trap but laying on the bed watching cartoons. Looking up you laughed at their reactions. “I am only half demon guys but if it makes you feel better I can go back in the devil’s trap and pretend like it works”.

 At that the sound of wings flapping filled the room and I immediately went into defense mode. Sam sensed the changed demeanor “relax this is our friend Cas he is going to tell us if you are actually who you say you are”. Suddenly two ice blue eyes shifted their gaze to focus on you like he was trying to see through to your soul. Jokes on him you never had one. Three pairs of eyes gazed at you each holding something different behind them. So, you began to explain,

“When I was born my mom knew that something was different, I never cried, and I could talk in full sentences by the time I was two. My mom thought I was a prodigy other kids called me a freak and they were close. I only found out on my tenth birthday that I wasn’t exactly human. It happened by mistake, I was walking home from school and I got grabbed by two guys in masks who smelt like cheap whiskey and piss. They locked me in some kind of warehouse and for the first time in my life I felt scared. I prayed for God to help me so when two people appeared in front of me glowing I thought I was being saved by angels. Turns out they hired the other guys to kidnap me and bring me to the warehouse. In a flash they changed from my heroes to my worst nightmare. They tied me up and cut me repeatedly asking me weird questions that I had no clue how to answer. Apparently, they thought I was holding back on them, so they brought in my mom.”

Dean shifted in his seat knowing this story probably wouldn’t have a happy ending but not knowing what to do so he just continued listening with a cold and detached gaze. Sam looked on with sympathy and horror wishing he could help in some way but resigned at the realization that all he could do was listen. Cas sat with his head tilted slightly to the side at the familiar tale he was hearing.

           “She was unconscious but one of them placed a hand on her head and she woke up with a start. When she saw me, she tried to go and help me but one of the people held her back. I screamed for them to leave her alone, but they only laughed spitting at me telling me how if I didn’t answer their questions her blood would be on my hands. And so, they asked me again “what are you” and I replied with the only way I knew how telling them “I’m fucking human what do you mean what am I? Should I say I’m a little teapot and start dancing or something?” My mom laughed surprising both the men which only made them angrier. She turned to me still with a smirk on her face “you are stronger than you know, please forgive me for leaving so soon and never forget you are my sunshine” and with that one of the two men placed a hand on her and she screamed out in pain before falling limp to the ground. Watching her body collide against the ground with the two men laughing in the background I felt something cold overcome me and I blacked out but when I woke up I was no longer tied up but laying on the warehouse floor surrounded by the corpses of my mother and her killers. And that’s when I met Crowley.”

Ch.2