#made this at like 4 am but posting this later lmfao

[bearseulgi]

240731 JOY

[kamiversee]

The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.

The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.). 

Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)

(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)

holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.

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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)

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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.

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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl

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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.

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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^

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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.

"I made a mistake." [reader] 

"A good one." 

"Bad one." You correct.

this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.

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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)

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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?" 

The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16

THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')

"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21

AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.

You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense. 

Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much? 

If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23

i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!

the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE

"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine." 

...

You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?" 

...

 "Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused. 

There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.

of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK

——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin. 

You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question. 

"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.

this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.

chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;

the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)

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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)

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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.

no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID

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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.

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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him

then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…

the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.

WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.

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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏

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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.

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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)

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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.

the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.

the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT

Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna- 

Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-

GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!

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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹

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seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.

but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.

the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.

we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.

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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅

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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.

i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.

kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.

but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.

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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶

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okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;

Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.

we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?

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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D

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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.

what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing? 

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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.

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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.

the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?

what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?

regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.

to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)

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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟

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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)

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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.

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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together. 

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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.

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my citations for these theories ☝️🤓

“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56

loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).

“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.” 

“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?” 

“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement. 

“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him. 

He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.” 

You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?” 

“Yup.” - Chapter 56

is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.

But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. -  Chapter 8

the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.

Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth. 

He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9

the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).

He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober. 

"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21

if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.

He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..." 

Your brows furrow at that. 

Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22

YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP

"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29

"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." 

You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..." 

"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly. 

You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?" 

"You are." 

His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense." 

"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29

🧍‍♀️

anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.

"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person." 

"You could've prevented all this though..." 

Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30

this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.

"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you." 

Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him. 

If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.

COME ON NOW.

There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35

“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.” 

“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow. 

“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45

You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.” 

Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up. 

“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.” 

“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility- 

You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.” 

Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…” 

“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.” 

He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.” 

“But it’s true.” You say. 

And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46

if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).

He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53

then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).

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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3

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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;

It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing. 

So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence. 

The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8

Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.

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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)

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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).

the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.

also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3

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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉 

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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.

so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.

┏━━━

A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!

┗━━━

---

regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.

yap fin (for now)

-☃️

A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.

This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)

To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)

Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))

P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!

[monarchisms]

so this is the unintentional part two of that summary post i made with geoff talking about the end of achievement hunter. for this post, i'm going to try my best to sum up what michael, trevor, and joe (but not alfredo because he was sick at the time 😔) have said about what will happen in the future on the penultimate episode of off topic, #403. there won't be a transcript this time as i am busy with schoolwork and stuff, so i'll try to make this summary as filled with as much accurate information as i can to make up for it :)

so basically,

trevor starts off by saying they'll be doing the last of various series to wrap everything up. he also notes that some of these finales will be "more nostalgic"

one of the series finales that's up right now is vs episode #150: joe vs BK. the game they played is cooking mama!

after the series finale of off topic (#404 lol), the final AH video ever will be a let's play in the remastered version of burnout paradise, and the cast will consist of geoff, jack, trevor, and michael. this is a callback to the first ever AH video they did back in 2008, and it's already been filmed! trevor says it was more emotional then he thought it would be :')

michael explains that the video will essentially be a ~70-minute podcast. in it, they'll talk more about the end of achievement hunter, where the cast members have went/what they've all moved on to, and new projects that they'll working on. he also says that he thinks that people will call this video "cathartic" while comparing the vibe to their old gta v series, sunday driving

not as important, but michael said that he was mindlessly driving and turning in burnout paradise in the same way that he'd run and jump in minecraft because he "fucking hated" playing minecraft lmfao

as said before, they decided to close AH and start something new with dogbark instead of continuing like they used to. michael acknowledges that in the last few years, most of the crew had already left rt in some way or moved on to other stuff within the company, leaving just michael, trevor, alfredo, and joe as the most consistent on-screen talent by the end. *bonus bit that wasn't mentioned until later, but alongside these 4, jarren from the post team will be their channel manager for dogbark :)

as this group makes videos for dogbark, michael says that their stuff will be both "tonally different" and "very fluid" as they're still figuring it out as they go, noting that they were balancing it and AH/let's play content at the same time

michael also talks about how he's been doing what he's wanted to do at AH for a long time, but there were some things he still couldn't do within the constraints the AH crew had put on themselves

while there will be some gameplay stuff on the dogbark channel, as mentioned in this episode and the channel trailer, they will primarily focus on live action content. trevor makes a point by saying that the style/theme in the trailer will "not be pervasive throughout the entire brand", and michael adds on to that by saying the trailer "is at 100, but every video won't be at 100"

michael and trevor make a point by saying that there will be more variety, as in "a dozen little formats", not necessarily like the shows/series they made at AH, with joe saying that they're not trying to "tie themselves down" to strict uploads and such, like they were when they were previously fitting into a mold at AH

trevor says that he has seen achievement hunter, and rooster teeth as a whole, having a unique challenge ahead of them. he refers to making content that appeals to an audience who had been following them since the early days while trying to also find new faces, both out there in the audience and internally at the company, in order for AH to stay around

he also points out how difficult it is to do that with a long-standing brand that has had different eras of content, since there would be an audience with differing expectations for them. with that, it became hard for the AH crew to balance said expectations with the authenticity they tried to show in the content they created. the crew has changed as people alongside their audience, and the stress that came with it was challenging

michael stresses that the group not only chose to make a new channel completely, they also had to fight for it for a while, and wanted to slow down on AH content before properly closing/archiving the channel to create dogbark. beyond the struggles of creating something new from scratch, they now have the challenge of preparing the audience for the jump from AH to dogbark while thinking about all the pros and cons before going forward

this week (the week of september 18th) and next week (the week of september 25th) are the last weeks of new AH content. after that, there will be a 1 or 2-day break before dogbark properly starts making new content on october 2nd. trevor feels like people will get a better idea of what dogbark is after a month or two of them uploading content

finally (subject to change, of course), they want to aim for full uploads every monday and friday, with patreon-like exclusive videos with rt first every wednesday and saturday. one of the confirmed things to expect is a first-exclusive podcast. the first week dogbark officially starts, all that content will be public as a sample of what to expect, and every week after that will follow that schedule

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being snippy with my friend?

I (17) and my friend X (20) recently had a small altercation, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Some context, me and X have been friends off and on for about 4 years, and have had some rough patches throughout. in the past we had petty squabbles and when I was 15 I cut them off for a couple years, only to start talking to them again early 2023.

In the past X displayed some small hints of antisemitism (I am jewish) and mild dismissal of my feelings. When I was 15 I cut them off after a tiny conflict regarding supporting homophobic businesses resulted in me waking up to them tweeting about me seven times on their twitter (which we were mutuals on) and them telling our mutual friend they were walking on eggshells around me in a discord server we were all in.

over the past week I have been very sick with COVID-19, and extreme pain from my wisdom teeth that have left me unable to speak, I told X all of this. two nights ago they sent a story they wrote about their characters, and in another channel of the server talked about two of our characters. It was 9pm my time and I felt like trash, so I didn't bother replying to either since I knew they'd be going to sleep soon (they live in a timezone three hours later than mine)

I woke up yesterday to them saying how much it hurt their feelings that no one replied to either, saying "I don't care but I really do". I replied: "sorry I usually stop checking non pings at night when I'm sick".

they replied with: "no it's fine - I just think it's funny - so funny - Also ur not the only person in the server so LMFAO - I hope you don’t think it was directed at you" (dashes for different messages sent)

this really rubbed me the wrong way and even though I said it was fine it really made me uncomfortable. after our past experiences of them saying interacting with me was like "walking on eggshells" or them posting about me to their twitter, I've been thinking about it. they also have a tendency to come into dms to rant about mutual friends of ours, so I don't put it past them still doing that about me.

I normally really like them and enjoy their company, but seeing how they acted when I was sick and unwilling to speak really gave me a red flag. I'm considering stepping away for a little bit, but cutting contact again is also in the back of my mind. I'm just not sure what to do.

thank you

What are these acronyms?

[dakaneeee]

Alr you know what Im gonna ask for. You mentioned her in the srpska post so, Herze hcs?

Herze Head cannons time

Again 2 points:

1. Yes i do know when Tix made her she was probably referring to Herceg Bosna, and not Hercegovina as a whole. I am breaking that rule cause I am biased

2. Once again, I am from Hercegovina myself, and since Hercegovina has no important figure i can’t make the same Milorad Dodik joke in the last post

ANYWAY

1. Design wise nothing too interesting, I do imagine she has a lot of Sunspots tho

2. Also thick ass arms. Idk every woman from Herzegovina is always jacked

3. 166 cm for Herzegovina with Tijana Bošković existing is a spit to the face, she should be 180 cm at least

4. Thick brown hair, possibly wavy, though we barely see her hair down

5. Her “pre-conversion” name was Danica

6. She never converted actually, she remained Christian the entire Ottoman period

7. She read the bible to Ilija every night

8. Probably cut most of her hair off and pretended to be a male poturica (a serbian convert), where she went by the name Idriz

9. She wore mostly Turk-like clothing, probably stolen from a few Poturica-s she’s killed

10. Though she still wore the Herzegovinian hat, so it sent subliminal messaging of who she really was so Ilija and Montenegro didn’t have a hard time recognizing her in disguise

11. Once the Ottomans figured out her gimmick they degradingly called her Idriza, which is where her current name originates from

12. Was forcefully married to Enis afterwards

13. She refused to take his last name, the only reason people think she took it is from superficial assumption

14. I don’t imagine her being related to Croatia, she was nicknamed “Serbian Sparta” after all

15. However I di imagine Herzegovina going to Croatia for help, only for him to take off the Herzegovinian hat off of her. Symbolically representing Croats trying to strip away Herzegovinians of their culture as they came to Dalmatia for help.

16. He also tried to convert her, didn’t work at first but it took a toll on her

17. Best Bonding time with Ilija was the Herzegovinian uprising

18. She will feel the same way later in 1993 when the serbs and croats collaborated against the Muslims one more time

19. Sadly, they probably drifted apart as he grew up and became his own thing

20. Also a tarp carrier, once again easy weapon holding but it’s her holding onto her past

21. Had a meaningful connection with Zeta (Montenegro) at the time of the serbian empire, which is where their strong historical bond started

22. “Hladno krvna” as in cold blooded in serbian. Could actually be about her being very cold, but also about her getting physically cold easily

23. Ambiguously calls herself “Christian” and doesn’t specify if she’s Catholic or Orthodox

24. Celebrates Orthodox Christmas with Srpska, Monte and Serbia every time lmfao

25. Serbian new years with Srpska only though

26. I imagine the house of BiH (as in Bosnia, Herzegovina and Srpska) is somewhere outside of Sarajevo, though she probably has a smaller house in Gacko or Trebinje where she goes to so she can feel reconnected to her rural identity

27. Very specifically she has a house with a chimney, weird preference but ok

28. She kept a relationship with Montenegro for the most time during the Ottoman period, the two kind of depending on each other most of the time.

29. Turkish coffee 4 times a day, she isn’t addicted to caffeine she’s just a mom from the area

30. Goran Bregović fan, probably cause she’s also half Croatian and half Serbian

31. Despite not liking the cold, she’d rather be in a freezing river than a warm sea

32. Probably won the cross on Bogojavljenje at least once

33. Also has a very obnoxious Herzegovinian accent, except she throws in Croatian words and it sounds even worse than whatever alien language Ilija is speaking

34. Knows the whole Gorski Vijenac book by memory

35. She told Enis their marriage reminds her of the Hasanaginica story and he crossed his arms and looked at her disapprovingly for the rest of the evening

36. She has a Red Brojanica, the silver cross on the red rope is kind of a nudge to Zahumlje / Duchy of st. Sava in the past

Anyways Herze doodle to get the idea

[shesmore-shoebill]

Smosh ask game made by @babychosen (i believe). Thanks for making this!

I think I was tagged by @unknownteapot and @poppyfamily - sorry if I missed any others!

Tossing it under a cut bc i got a little rambly lol.

1. How long have you been watching Smosh?

Hmmm. Not counting seeing some of the OG stuff growing up, I think I watched a TNTL or two when other people I knew crossed over (Specifically Critical Role and Starkid). But there was a later, very different point when the switch in my brain actually flipped and i got INTO it properly. I think counting that... maybe the start of this year? Late November/December? I had just started checking the channels/smoshblr more regularly (but wasn't subscribed yet) when Love Is Blind dropped. So. You know.

2. Favourite Smosh cast member(s)?

I dont think I can dodge any accusation of loving Amanda, but its critical to note that Angela is why I got into Smosh at all, and that, not counting Angela for Starkid stuff, Arasha was actually the first cast member I started actively seeking out more content for. Def the first person I started looking into Smosh content for more of.

So uh. Its triple A! Its triple A. I like a lot of the other cast members but i know my roots. and my roots are gay!

3. Favourite pairing?

At one point I was asked about my top three and I couldnt even do that successfully. Oh boy. I think by frequency of what I post about, we have to assume Amangela but I do really love Shaymanda as well. Changela makes me so 🥰. And I know Triple A is a trio but. :) Ah fuck I'm doing it again. Honestly all iterations within the Love Is Blind 1 lineup have increasingly captured my heart

If we're talking RPF, Amangela by leaps and bounds, but maybe that's largely because of how much content already exists for it. Courtrasha could be VERY good, Im just saying....

4. Favourite recurring character?

Recurring characters dont always hit for me, so this is an interesting one. I think maybe Dominic- its about the joy Courtney gets from playing him + the "such a toxic fool it somehow loops back around to harmless". If Angela ever brings Angelo back I am sad to say it would probably be him. Oops.

but yk who the real recurring love of my life is. Its the hot dog joke. <3

5. Favorite Smosh video?

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL QUESTION. This is so dependent on whatever Im thinking of at the moment LOL. Love Is Blind 1 is up there for sure. For a few I consistently rewatch/listen to, Amangela Trivial Pursuit, Smosh Hunger Games, LIB1, All Rise, Pride Stream, FNAFs, and a few specific Smosh Mouth episodes. For ones with a special place in my heart: Lets Do This Scam + Revenge, any Challenge Pit w/ Triple A, Smosh Pit Theatre IM Messages, and like. The FNAF 2 & FNAF VR.

6. First video that got you into Smosh?

I had seen the Critical Role TNTL and a few others I had tried from that, and petered out. Then I tried again after the Starkid TNTL, but I wasn't actually won over until. UNTIL. While on an Angela Starkid rabbit hole I was watching compilations, and then hit THE Arasha scam video (iykyk) and went "what the FUCK is the context for this", watched the full Lets Do This episode, fell into EIOYI's and Funerals and Challenge Pits and TNTL's and so on. So i had watched some videos beforehand but the thing that REALLY made me go "Oh. Wait. I kind of love this? And these people? I want more of them specifically?" was. The "I Lied". <3

7. Favourite picture of the cast?

To avoid putting like 30 pictures of different groups of people . Im assuming this means full cast. If so the most recent photoshoot I REALLY liked everyone's photos for! Otherwise? The Anthony's Funeral ones........ hot.

8. Favourite picture of your fave?

okay ngl im late on answering this game SPECIFICALLY bc of this question lmfao. :( i cheated and did 3 photos of everyone in triple A. did i end up going to videos and taking screenshots so technically defeating the point of this question. idk maybe.

Amanda:

Angela:

Arasha:

akdkakfjsjhfaksjfjahd. gay. (me)

9. What Smosh series do you want to see more of?

OKAY. First of all- Smoffice with current cast. But. Listen. Reading Reddit stories is fine and fun but. You know what I want more of? The cast acting out dramatic readings of Reddit stories. Please watch that video if you haven't. The current skits are fun but don't tend to align a ton with my sense of humor, but I'd LOVE more of this. We get goofy cast readings. Cast members doing cast ridiculous over the top acting mocking both a story and each other. They get to do over the top takes of ridiculous scenarios, and if I can't have Smoffice back CAN I PLEASE AT LEAST CAN HAVE MORE OF THIS. THERE WAS ONLY ONE AND IT HAD JACKIE AND AMANDA AND SHAYNE IN IT AND IT WAS SO GOOD. THEN THEY TOOK IT AWAY.

Other than that I mean. Im not COMPLAINING about the trend of Amangela playing video games. 👀

10. Dream guest on Smosh Mouth?

Ngl, I tend to enjoy guests that Shayne and Amanda really vibe with moreso than just people I know. Like I wouldn't be opposed to Syd and Olivia again, despite not having watched their stuff before that episode.

assuming there would be good chemistry.... you know what? Brennan Lee Mulligan. I think the humor would mesh beautifully and I think he could appeal to both Shayne and Amanda in specific ways and the conversation could vacillate between really deep insightful discussion or unhinged comedy bits.

I took long enough to answer this that I think everyone I think of immediately has already done it 😅 So if you'd like to and havent already, take this as your sign to go for it!

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

Hey, OP! It's been five years since you've made the post, but is the offer to learning Ninjago Fandom Lore still open? You were there when the ancient scripture was written, you are a relic and lorekeeper of the past, and I am sitting criss-cross apple sauce and willing to hear ye olden tales. That is to say, I watched the show before s3 was even a concept, up until s5 started where I dropped it due to a combination of reasons, but I never forgot how I did want to watch it. And now over a decade later I learn this silly lego show of my childhood had a FANDOM, and I have missed all the moments with the community. Which seems very entwined with fan-show creator interactions to the point they throw OCS into their works and have fans send voice requests to sing the theme song and put it into the show finale. It's like the fandom is that child whose birthday you missed through being totally absentee. A shame :') this is my Pokemon, it's to us what Pokemon is to 90s kids. A show you could've been there since the Pilots and most of everyone is in your age range.

Of course I will always be up to speaking on the lore of the Ninjago Fandom!

Now for the newer anti groups this is your warning. We were the Wild West Kids so we did a lot of stuff that the Modern fandom would be ick about.

I guess that can be the first lore, the OG fandom had crackshipping everywhere, but some of these actually became a thing. One of the original now controversial ships that road a popularity wave alongside Jaya and, yes, Colya, was Greenflame.

Garsako was lovingly taken care of LadyMarissaGarmadon like they absolutely were crazy for it.

I was hiding in the corner with Zaya or Snow Phoenix as I called it

Bruisehipping was huge there was an artist called Blakkycat who was in the Tumblr side known for their Bruishipping Art I actually adopted their OC Chua, more lore

Serpentine Babies EVERYWHERE like everyone had a Serpentine Oc istg it was awesome Blakkys Bab Chua was one of these but he was popular due to his Shenanigans here's some Art for ya

That's Chua! So yeah I'm his caretaker now since Blakky left years ago. Blakky and I actually came up with a very Popular AU let's see if some of the Olders Remember this

Overlord Nya, and yes she's pulling a Katara and using the water in Blood to control it Blakky and I would talk for hours over this AU and the Fandom loved it just as much for a bit, Blakky created the Art I supplied Ideas.

This was I would say 2013/2014,

Season 3 oh man that was a trip, we actually Mourned Zane like held a funeral its funny now thinking it especially with how many times he's died and come back. We all really thought you know logically he was 100% gone

The Love Triangle thing was rough suddenly the Colya and Jaya fans were at each other's throats....people actually got hurt and friendships badly shattered a bunch of us were horrified like outsiders called us the most toxic fandom at least until Voltron stole that crown and we had Season 6 confirm Jaya. But this is why some wince at these ships

Nindroid Jay oh goodness Prpledragon created him and the Fandom was head over ass with AUs with this version I'm pretty sure you can still find the Comic Prple made partially for the AU

Then season 4 ohhhhhh man

I remember fondly the Tournament of Elements held here on Tumblr, like the whole fandom dozens of artists forming their own Art Tournament in honor of it

Then Zane was brought back and it was like we'd won the game celebrations everywhere lmfao

And the uproar that was Garmadons death

Ahaha I can continue but this is getting long so just let me know if you wish for more. I do indeed hold the texts and I'm more then happy to share

I have been Agent Alanshee, The Guardian Alanshee, The Winged Guardian Alanshee

And then Alanshee Keeper of Realms

For anyone who might recognized me

[just-a-fragment]

Orv reread dump

potential tw(suicide/sa)

CHAPTER 1

I am ok :)))))

hmm is this dokkaebi king or hsy?

CHAPTER 2

more foreshadowing ughh it hurts

Unreliable narrator moment?

Sangah felt comfortable enough to talk much less be close to him. She's either really close with dokja(and we didn't realize until the later chapters) or dokja never made her feel uncomfortable. As a woman she has to constantly deal with the harassment she receives from men, and I don't think the coffee incident is enough to justify how she started talking to him after she was just harassed in this scene, there's more to their relationship whether it's romantic or kdj is just a feminist.

CHAPTER 3

so you say :))))))

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 8

foreshadowing? or am i reading too much into this

CHAPTER 10

from the start he never liked the star stream so even

CHAPTER 11

such a huge oversimplification damn kdj

remembers the theory that he's smiling cuz he finally met kdj. head in hands

kdj didn't have any info on any previous regressions before the 3rd one so he assumed that all of those were failures but we knew that 0th turn was the most perfect one. Also "never made a real companion" but he chose the same ones EVERY SINGLE TIME. The ones he made it through the end(whether it was at his own expense or not) was when he was with his companions

CHAPTER 13

so heartwarming to see the 4 simps develop from this to supporting kdj purely cause they loved his story

CHAPTER 14

i cannot believe we were robbed of topless kdj

CHAPTER 16

thinking about that one post from ot3 and how this parallels to Jonah surviving for only 3 days bc he's a true prophet while kdj took 4 days cuz he isn't actually a true prophet

Interesting, even though we didn't see any other constellation messages its implied that most of them feel angry at how they're distracting kdj and only uriel and maybe sun wukong are angry for heewon

CHAPTER 17

After seeing glimpse of the side story, I think this is kdj's way of criticizing how heewon's backstory is not inevitable, even though ss handled it really well, we can still have a conversation whether its necessary or not

CHAPTER 18

and he didn't TT. Still feel like he could've had more moments though

or a hurt inner child...

CHAPTER 20

feminist kdj, also ugh the way kdj treats lgy makes my heart hurt, its how he wanted to be treated ughh

really wish we couldve gotten more lgy moments

CHAPTER 22

we stan a queen who knows her worth

CHAPTER 23

SP's comments are lowkey funny once u know who he is lmfao

CHAPTER 25

It doesn't say that the 4th wall skill gives him a charisma ability, and we know that he didn't copy the incite skill until the 3rd scenario. So I think this shows that he's naturally charismatic.

jhw evolution moments never fail to make me cry TT

and that's it for now, imma try to read 25 chapters next week. Idk how ppl read this in 3 days or a week like damn

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

so i've been extremely overwhelmed by....... i guess everything online lmao, it's really hard to focus on things when you're constantly bombarded with things you don't really need at the moment

i'm trying to get back into journaling but damn it's so hard. i know my head isn't empty, i spawn walls of texts almost daily, but my mind goes blank when i'm in front of an open notebook because i don't know what's truly worthy of writing down? it's kind of like with drawing at this point. i'm stuck with the art block because i don't know what's worthy of drawing. and guess what made me feel this way? the social media lmfao. i hate that literally every idea i consider cool i never depict because my brain immediately goes like, "who cares about this?", "this won't get noticed and also you're too late, so don't be cringe", etc

i hate this so much idk. anyway, i think i'm going to make a list of things to focus on, both personal projects/artistic inspirations and fandom related ones. i do have things i overfixate on for years, so why am i letting myself be distracted by some random content ideas that only matter to me for like a day or two...?

i should also start limiting inspirations in general, looking at my folder rn and realizing that there are just WAY TOO MANY things i want to incorporate into my work and it really overwhelms me. reminds me of various artists saying that "less is more" and holy crap i should start limiting myself. this is something i slowly started to realize on my own when i did some pixel art, which is limited already due to its nature, with some color palettes instead of randomly staring at a color wheel for half an hour, not being able to decide which one to use.

also i found out about artfol, social media for artists, and so far it seems promising? haven't tried it yet, maybe i will upload some stuff there later. also maybe i'll finally sort everything here on tunglr dot com and make a separate art blog and will use this one as my "main"-diary-esque blog where i won't post much. it's not like i'm on here anyway, my dash feels overwhelming so i don't even scroll past 3-4 posts a day anymore on here. i'm tired of social media. it doesn't feel personal anymore, it's not fun, not interesting...

fomo effect used to fuck me up before something clicked and i stopped scrolling things. because due to nature of the modern internet, i have more chances of stumbling across useful/interesting information if i just keep scrolling through junk. since as you know, google is dead anyway, shit is hard to find these days, and indeed, every cool thing i managed to find was through random braindead scrolling (post 2016 i mean, i miss mid 2000s era when stuff was actually GOOGLEABLE and you didn't need to scroll long ass feed to stumble across cool things, you could get there at your own pace while just surfing the web). so the habit was made worse by "damn what if i miss some obscure post that features obscure cool thing that will matter to me once i get to know it??" but i'm just so fucking exhausted... everything i love about the internet because so dormant, niche even. the internet, as i define it, is dead to me. it's really heartbreaking

[romans-roy]

I posted 11,198 times in 2022

13 posts created (0%)

11,185 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 612 of my posts in 2022

#mine - 12 posts

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#ask - 5 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

book book book 2022

thank u so much @kurthummeldeservesbetter ! ur so cool 

Best book you’ve read so far in 2022:

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame - Victor Hugo (1831)

now i’m just gonna preface this by saying i’ve mostly reread books this year LMFAO, but the best book that i’ve read for the first time this year is The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. i’d been meaning to read it for YEARS and i finally got the chance to this year and i really enjoyed it

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2022:

Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins (2009)

as i said, i haven’t read as many new books this year :(, but i did reread The Hunger Games trilogy earlier this year and Catching Fire is one of my favorite sequels EVER! the furthering of the rebellion, as well as the new characters introduced fit so seamlessly and it’s genuinely one of my favorites ever

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to/Most anticipated release for the second half of the year:

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins (2020)

i don’t have the time to keep up with new releases but i am really looking forward to reading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes because i went back into my hunger games phase earlier this year and i now have the energy to read it and i’m very excited to 

Biggest disappointment:

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes & Other Lessons From the Crematory - Caitlin Doughty (2015)

i think the biggest disappointment of the year for me was Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, which is a memoir that i had to read for class. I started off really enjoying the book, but by the end, i started to disagree with some of her thoughts regarding death and funerals and all that, and because i had to read it for class, i couldn’t just stop reading, and i actually had to write about her ideas that i didn’t necessarily like but didn’t know how to expand on lmfao

Biggest surprise:

honestly i think that my biggest surprise was how well written The Hunger Games is as well as how impactful it is. the reason i say this is because i first read the books when i was 12 years old and i haven’t gone back and reread them until this year, 7 years later. that being said, i did understand the series when i first read them, but i didn’t understand the full scope of them like i do now. they are genuinely such good books and are quite literally the blueprint.

Favorite new author (debut or new to you):

Donna Tartt

now this isn’t technically new to me this year, but within the past full year, i read both The Secret History and The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt and i LOVED them. so definitely Donna Tartt all the way

Newest fictional crush/Newest favorite character:

Boris Pavlikovsky & Kevin Day

i actually have two answers because neither of them are from books i read for the first time in 2022. The first is Boris Pavlikovsky from The Goldfinch. i love him and i think he’s GREAT, but i obviously read that book last year. the SECOND is the one and only Kevin Day from the All For the Game trilogy by Nora Sakavic. i’ve read these books a million times since 2016, but i’m rereading them again right now and my love for him grows every reread

Book that made you cry:

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins (2008)

when i started rereading the hunger games i SOBBED the entirety of the book. i quite literally could not stop crying the entire series. i was a MESS the whole time

Book that made you happy:

Grasshopper Jungle - Andrew Smith (2014)

the thing about me is that i somehow manage to only read books that make me cry, but i think the happiest i’ve been while reading any book this year was when i reread Grasshopper Jungle because it’s my favorite book of all time (tho i don’t recommend it necessarily, it’s very teen boy)

The most beautiful book cover you’ve bought this year:

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame - Victor Hugo (1831)

See the full post

4 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#4

okay indulge my ego: what fictional character comes to mind when u think of me. first one. No hesitation.

MY MIND LITERALLY WENT BLANK AHHHH

no but for realsies the girl from firewatch, the one who u talk to on the walkie talkie and she’s like in another tower SORRY IF THATS LIKE SO RANDOM

5 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#3

lizzie is dead yall

12 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#2

finnmcnamhaira -> romans-roy

16 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

22 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[anticapitalistclown]

omfg I AM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING LMFAO

okay basically

my intrusive thoughts are BAD bad. they're violent and fucked up and sad and are just things I'd never do or say

I've been crying over every movement the boys of TO1 make especially Kyungho

I snuck my phone up to my room 3 nights in a row

Kyungho has really nice butt cheeks I want to use them as stress balls

I'm finally getting back into reading books

kinda wanna get into writing also bc all the accounts that write for to1 deactivated

my friend thought TO1's Donggeon was Indian

another friend of mine thought Keeho from P1Harmony was Japanese

I made some new antagonist OCs who are a group of 3-4 boys called The Drama Lovers

all the girls in my story are living in peace and harmony and the boys are just fighting and backstabbing and having world war 3

I want to1 to cover Dragon by Tempest bc they'd fucking kill it

Chan from TO1 still hasn't apologized for his actions. everyone hates him now and he looks like an egg

the band maneskin is just amazing omfg. AND they're funny af also lol

here's some Kyungho 🍑 to bless ur day (he is the one w/ purple hair)

former to1 member Minsu also got Instagram and he's been drinking beer and he has big veiny manly looking hands and I never noticed bc he's so smol and cute and looks like he's 13.

donggeon has been posting selfies with his whole chest exposed and then acts like he didn't just murder the whole fandom

boys planet Twitter is going crazy over the trainee Ricky. someone made a playlist of songs that describe Ricky and it's just songs like Boss Bitch by doja cat, money by Lisa, rich girl by Gwen Stefani, and diva by Beyonce XD

did I mention I want to use Kyunghos huge ass as a stress ball

WELCOME BACK I MISSED YOU APPEARING RANDOMLY ON MY ASKBOX

I felt that bc I also had intrusive thoughts and they're really fucked up, hope they vanish

I also felt when you talk like this about Kyungho, it's basically me with Jake lmao

hope you're enjoying the books

I started this blog bc there were no headcanons about Jake lmao

I like the name of "The Drama Lovers"

boys will be boys

I'm curious about what Chan did, I'll search it later.

Maneskin are cool

THE ASS JAHAGHJGGDA

and yes you did mention it, and you have all the rights to say it lmao

[overpopulatedbrain]

Gonna Write a DA Journal Meme as if I'm Melba because I'm bored woohoo

1. You must post the rules. 2. Each person must post 5 things about themselves in their journal. 3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create ten new questions for the people you tag to answer. 4. You have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal. 5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged them. 6. No tag backs. 7. No "you're tagged if you're reading this".

Reactions to the rules: Okay.

Soooo I've been tagged by my girlfriend Laikie. Woohoo! I'll just tag at random. Pew pew pew!

5 Things about me

I am adopted. I've been adopted into my family since 2003-2004.

I just went back to school to get my BA in graphic design. I almost got it at another college but dropped out due to mental health issues.

I am in a loving poly relationship (I LOVE YOU DART, LAIKA AND JAIMEEEE!)

I can curl my tongue

I just lost the game-kidding lmfao. Um...when I was ten I used to write fanfiction about Avril Lavigne being my biological sister and finding her and becoming a star like her. :P I was a dorky ass child lol.

Questions

What is your favorite movie? BALTO. Saw the sequel first while in foster care, but then found the original one and the third later.

Cats, dogs, or both? Both, but dogs. <3

Butters wants to play Hello Kitty Island Adventure, do you join? FUCK YEAH!! Poor kid needs someone to play with! Wait...do we get to create our own Sanrio sonas?

Hair color? Is it Natural? Dark brown with light blue streaks. Dark brown is natural, blue is not.

BOUNCE BOUNCE JIGGLE BOUNCE (guess the song)? Hmmm....I know it's not "Bounce" by System of a Down, but....is it about boobs? (ofc my mind goes there lol)

Favorite book? Warrior Cats, Call of the Wild and Eragon. And the HP series, but I don't give the Buttterf any money.

Drawing style? Anime/furry/chibi style, but I'm trying to branch out and grow a little more. My gf loves it and finds my art style nostalgic and cute!

Favorite number? Pssshhhhhhhh *looks up and curls lip* 8? 2003 or 2004? 3 or 4? 18? *shrugs* I used to say 666 as a teen because I was an edgy babby.

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT (not even a question).....Oh yes, junior year of high school. LMFAO, my friend Felicity loves that song. My girlfriend hates that song lol.

10. O u O  I MADE YOU A PIE! Oh what kind of pie? *WTF BOOM* PIE! oh shit *blows up*

My questions:

Favorite Anthro character?

Do you like to draw?

What are your new year's resolutions (I know, basic).

Favorite drink?

Most cherished childhood memory?

Have you ever punched anyone in the face?

Favorite video game?

Favorite anime/manga?

Have you ever been to college? Why or why not?

YOU HAD MY HEART AT LEAST FOR THE MOST PART 'CAUSE EVERYBODY'S GOTTA DIE SOMETIIIIIIIME WE FELL APART LET'S MAKE A NEW START CUZ EVERYBODY'S GOTTA DIE SOMETIIIIIIME (guess the song and you're awesome)

[sobrietywithnobullshit]

My First Post (intro); TW: drug use & addiction.

sigh I always start things i don't finish, so this blog will probably be just another unfinished project that i forget about in a month. Sorry for the pessimistic outlook- it's a big habit of mine. Along with many more. This is going to be a semi long intro so bare with me.

So let's start this out typical. Hi my name is Sam and i'm an addict. Going on 8 years now. It's probably more like 10..ish. I say 8 though because there was a point in between using for fun and needing to use daily without getting sick, where i was sober for like a little over a year. So 8 years works for me.

Choice of drug: heroin, opiates, and most recently the antagonist in this story- fentanyl. Which is quite ironic i phrase it that way because they use antagonists to reverse the effects of opioids. If i had a choice, i would have never started using fet at all but these days that i all one can find. Besides that flesh eating shit, don't get me started on that lmfao. I have been lucky enough to not run into it- yet. Plus i don't shoot (i am terrified of needles) i snort. So my skin is safe for now lol. I also have been lucky enough to have never overdosed. Or die in that case. So praise the lawd.

Let's cover recent events that made me start this blog. About a month ago i entered a detox facility about 3 hours from where i live. I drove myself and stayed for a little over 5 days. Then left. All of you reading are probably like WHAT THE FUCK BRUH you were sooo close. Trust me i know. There was alot that happened there that was so unhealthy and ill make a post about all that shit later, but to sum up how i felt there besides sick from withdrawals, i felt like a damn science experiment.

Cut to two days later me wanting them to take me back and they wouldn't unless i started on suboxone (which i didnt want to again ill explain more about all this in another post). This time my parents drove me fucking 3 hours there and back for nothing. About a week or so later i entered a rehab facility 4 and a half hours from where i live. I drove myself again. I was under the assumption it would be guys and girls (it wasn't). There were alot more things i assumed and it wasn't the case. This will also be another post. But i left 24 hours in due to safety issues and drugs literally in the facility. Which was partially my fault.

Okay so my recovery hasn't been so good. I am currently using still and felt overwhelmed for about a whole month. I kept telling myself okay i will call the new rehab tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a month. I didn't even realize i was doing it until a month went by.

I have found a new detox facility a bit closer to home..2 hours lmao. I live in the middle of nowhere btw. So 2 hours is nothing, i drive two hours to get my fix every week so.. no big deal. Except this one was super hard to find because the name of it wasn't anything to do with detox or heroin or ya know. I'm not sure if i am going to be accepted or if they have an opening yet because i haven't called. And im not going to until i have everything in my life in order. They also have a really nice rehab that IS coed. It's also not in a hospital, its more holistic.

So that is where im at currently. I probably will call them on monday or tuesday of next week. I had to get some cash together, my clothes washed and packed, and i also had some random shit coming in the mail that i knew would get stolen if i didnt wait. But for the most part- everything is in order. So next week i could be getting clean again for the 4th time.

So this is me. Im sam. Which i should mention isn't really my name haha. But it is my favorite name. Always love samantha from totally spies. Maybe when i start getting clean and actually have more than 5 days, i will reveal my ugly mug. Thought about starting a tiktok but who knows. Social media has never really been my thing. But you know that because im literally starting a blog on tumblr i 2023 lmfao.

Anyways, sorry for the horrible format. Just kind of writing this spur of the moment. Just wanted to introduce myself. This blog will be about my sobriety journey with no fucking bullshit. That's one thing i hate. When people get clean and they pull the omggg jesus saved me. Or they get clean and forget that dirty part of themselves. I never want to forget this part of me because it's made me who i am. I will never be ashamed of that.

Talk soon. Please be safe out there. Message me if you need anything. It gets better.

xoxo sam

[werewolfin]

I posted 19,867 times in 2022

That's 3,755 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (0%)

19,856 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@silly-bean

@maandarinee

@loonylunalovegood97

@teawithmochi

@gentrychild

I tagged 3,703 of my posts in 2022

#long post is long - 1,873 posts

#video - 1,535 posts

#fic rec - 135 posts

#quizzy - 129 posts

#lmao - 109 posts

#fic idea - 105 posts

#reference - 98 posts

#music - 45 posts

#audio - 39 posts

#lmfao - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#some people are unhinged as in 'the door doesnt have hinges yet' but others are 'the hinges have torn out the wall and the nails stab me'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Something is wrong on mobile. Tags seem to... just look at them! Typing here is fine, it's just tags, but still. As far as I can tell, it's interpreting it as a-ab-abc-abcd without dashes.

0 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#4

crash

0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

dreams are something your subconscious tries to tell you

it was basically a time loop where i try to figure out how this guy kept getting murdered at a massive house party but it’s not the girlfriend, best friend (who i was playing as), or even the loner trying to get with the gf. he’s just dead every single time. probably getting murked by several people; i’m pretty sure i killed him once on accident and didnt even bother hiding the body, since it was a party and people would think he was just black out drunk. tried to hide his body on the roof later on though, which just made him get spotted quicker lol.

the party was in the mountains but we were apparently right next to both the ocean and farmland, because at one point the girlfriend sprouted a wing sephiroth style and flew away out to sea. i got the impression she gave up on trying to find out how her bf died in several timelines and didn’t want to get fingered as the culprit in lieu of even any circumstantial evidence, so she sacrificed her ability to swim or land in exchange for flight and left.

i think loner guy got abducted by cannibals in the last one, because it became like texas chainsaw massacre AND the hills have eyes in that there’s a massive inbred family network out there in them there hills that just take people if they want more kids, food, or hunting for sport. There was also a cameo of michael myers because he was apparently just slaughtering them en masse and them trying to put him down but he just did not notice it at all. purely coincidental on his part that he was taking down whole cells.

0 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#2

dreams are something your subconscious tries to tell you

had a dream i was a dude and i got dressed in pumps and a playboy bunny outfit except the bottom wasn’t a leotard it was a microskirt, so technically i’m flashing cheek with each step.

apparently i did this as a reward or something for my dream state boyfriend, like, straight up in public i am wearing this for him. because of the whole flashing thing being, you know, a thing with this outfit, i decide to squat instead of take a seat, which is something else i feel dream bf would appreciate.

he does not lol.

rather than have sex in ‘real life’ he wants to have sex in minecraft, something i do not have, with mods i also do not have. the force of my disappointment turns me into a lady again.

seeing as i’m lucid dreaming and it isn’t going anywhere fun, i decide to launch off the cliff that’s usually at the back of buildings in my dreams and just start hang gliding or w/e only to get waylaid by the fucking party going on out on the courts. i’m still in the bunnygirl outfit.

i woke up mildly aggravated that i read my dream bf so wrong, which is funny because in actual real life i had never and will never actually date this guy. this is what happens when you see a sick af cosplay and find an anime character with the same specific name the same day lmao

0 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i switch to firefox and it fucking breaks not even a day later -.-

extensions no longer loading properly, tumblr just giving me a blank page...

anyone know how to figure out wtf is happening

1 note - Posted September 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[blackvahana]

Yeah alright

So... Ive made it abundantly clear I have been having big issues with angel and demon stuff in recent years. I was demonkin in 2016 and then a few years later picked up angelkin.... havent touched it in like 4 years. I do stand by what ive said about how those are basically solely christian terms given other cultures that "have" them technically have their own terms for conceptions similar to how we view angels/demons - and its definitely true that angel and demon as words extend past christianity but its such a christian term that if you say "jewish angels" most people are going to subconsciously imagine christian conceptions of angels with something that makes them suddenly jewish... if they even add that last bit. The terms are used to translate other similar concepts and carry christian connotations. I dont give a shit about christianity beyond liking catholic aesthetics lmfao. Insert wide-eyed witch child seeing european catholic worship spaces for the first time

I cannot hide the fact that demon and angel... were foundational, beginning identities for me for a reason. Just because I didnt understand the context and so labelled it as demon and angel, doesnt mean what i was was incorrect and catholic lmfao

Look. Tempest.

Beginning design (i always just start with a relatively solid base design for an oc then change them over time, i dont make solid designs for ocs):

Old sky god, grumpy as fuck and pompous and - Im fucking realising this last week thats been me for the first time ever. if not ever then years. ive been extremely Get Out Of My Face - Tempest was Like That lmfao but it was a fictional extrapolation...... alright. more proof this is just an expression of dragon me, which is what im getting at.

evolving further, getting closer and closer to accurate expression his base resonance, still feeling him out:

I'm struggling so hard to talk lmfao I am so aggressive atm

But there's.... This is the rough idea of Tempest but like

me looking at him created 6 years 2 months ago going "i feel like thats relevant"

6 and 2 messages. yeah. This is an echoing of something I am... in the way that Tempest is a bit of a simplified-for-art form.

Hoards of black crow wings, burning light, multiple faces, weird faces, many limbs, gilded in gold - never fucking noticed that Tempest has a halo. I was wondering the other night, I think last night why i never express with a halo and yeah im so sick of angel imagery but like. fact of the fucking matter is no matter how hard i chase that out of me..............

This form isnt going to look like this. I - yeah. remembering this piece - lmfao hold on. why am i getting multiple pieces in my personal divinity board. how long have i been ignoring looking like this

Scrap that whole last section. Dont care to find and then find sources for art. But anyway..... Im going to have to stop ignoring what the fuck I look like. Most of my goddamn sonas have been feeling out parts of me and theyre all many-handed, many winged, crow-esque dragons or other types of dragon or weird fucked up Beasts lmfao

scrapped a bunch of this post.

I need to go deep and unlock some things and then become the Cathedral. will fucking do. I see feathers with stained glass imagery thats only visible in the light like the gold in my black hair irl is. ill take it. asunder come play minecraft pspsps

We all knew what I was trying to squeeze into Tempest was going to become an astral form right? Right? Just me? ... that didnt know?

[fishy-xp]

Rating BL's I've Watched Based on a Completely BS Criteria

Disclaimer, this is just for fun and a look back for me in my journey through BL! I am thankful and grateful to the hardwork that went into all the series I've watched. Please don't take the ratings or my thoughts seriously.

Also spoilers obviously

Long read ahead let's dive in woohoo!

Love Sick

This was my first BL and I do not remember anything about it other than Min (I forgot his character's name) and Om (I forgot the actor's name) because I literally only watched it for Min. All I know was how slow and unresolved everything was like I do not even remember if the main couple ended up together and I definitely know that Min and Om did not clear anything up shshshhs. I do remember Ssing and Oat's character had a storyline and I don't think that got resolved either. Remember Ssing, he will make an appearance in this post later.

Rating: 3/10 (respect for it bringing me into the BL world)

Make It Right

I remember even less about this one, other than Oat was in it lmao and he was a tiny character.

Rating: 1/10 (this is a rating for my memory rather than the series)

2gether

After Love Sick and Make It Right, I dipped for a few years before coming back because I saw a video on IG of that infamous 'keep looking at me like that, and i'll kiss you until you drop' and instantly I was like I gotta watch this. And not for a second did I regret it. It was amazing holy crap, I am such a sucker for easy ass romantic plotlines. Also the scene where Sarawat was telling his friends how he found the man he liked and he kept saying 'he's the one I like' and his entire emotions and behaviour is that scene was so urghghghghghhg, i can't explain it but if someone ever talked about me like that, i would husband them up so fast. also i liked the way they showed Tine's insecurities, I don't think shows often deal with male insecurity so it was incredibly interesting to see. ALSO TYPE KEPT GIVING ME THE BIGGEST FREAKING JUMPSCARES ALL THE TIME. When he showed up at the apartment and Sarawat opened the door, the way I screamed. I love him, he is my favourite character in the show lmao. Big up to the Chic Gang as well, I am glad I am not the only law student with no brain cells lmfao

Rating: 10/10 (probably shared No.1 position for my fave BL right now)

Tonhon Chonlatee

I watched this for Khaotung but the main couple was honestly very yikes lmao. Also they did my girl Miriam so dirty by the end. I'm so happy Na got a bf by the end, it's what he deserves but also he would have definitely made a better match with Chon. Also coming from 2gether where Gunsmile was adorable, to Tonhon where he was a disgusting man was too much. Pang was amazing, I'm such a sucker for characters who are literally just good fucking friends. AiNi <333

Rating: 4/10

Not Me

Amazing, spectacular, brilliant. I love action much more than I love romance, so I do like how all the romance aspects wasn't at the forefront of the plot. The only thing I didn't like was that BlackGram wasn't a thing. I think it would have been a much more interesting dynamic, especially at the end where it seemed like Black was displaced from his own group by White and he didn't get a happy ending despite everything so having Gram in his corner would have been better. Also because it kind of makes both Eugene and Gram bad people for cheating on their boyfriend/bestfriend. Yok punching Dan was so satisfying holy shit. Also TADAH SSING IS BACK UWU, my 12 year old fangirl phase was coming back in full affect because damn he is still so fine. Also I love a good friendship storyline as well, so yeah the entire thing with Black and Tod, chef's kiss.

Rating: 9.5 (loses points because of GramBlack and because as a law student, I had war flashblacks everytime Gram was arguing with Nuch)

Don't Say No

I love this series. I love Leo's character especially, he is the thing of dreams. Rich, nice and incredibly loyal. I also really like that he is well-tempered and only resorted to violence about twice and both times were out of protective instinct because 1) that guy called his bf a whore and 2) this guy basically forced his bf to sleep with him, so well deserved in my opinion. I feel like a lot of other BL men are just violent for the sake of violence which is a no-no. Fiat's fashion choices are also my favourite, especially that red suit holy shit balls. I LOVE BOTH THEIR FRIEND GROUPS OMFG, BUT ESPECIALLY AMP AND AEK, they are so protective of everyone but also very level-headed so I get why Leo is friends which them. Contrastingly, Fiat's friends are dumbasses <333. I need a whole series about the twins and their shady little selves. I like how they did the sees someone flirting with their mans trope, and how Fiat could definitely see that it was a scheme, finally a man with braincells (I say like I didn't just insult him in the sentence prior), but I also understood how he even though he knew Leo wouldn't ever cheat on him, it still hurt to see your man kiss somone else. Everything about Leon and Fiat's dynamic was superb, I just want them to get locked in a room together and see how long before someone dies lmao. My only qualm is why the series is called Don't Say No, if it is based off their basketball team, they should have kept Super Penguins omfg. Justice for LeonPob when???

Rating: 10/10 (Tied no.1 with 2gether, would be 11/10 if the series was called Super Penguins)

TharnType (spoilers! spoilers!)

This was a lot haha, I'm glad I watched it because the S2 introduced me to DSN but I don't think I'll ever go back or rewatch it. Definitely a lot of issues with how blase they seemed about some of the stuff that was happening. The only thing I really have to say is Lhong omfg, I saw spoilers of everyone on reddit being like he is the most evil character and I was there thinking he just seems like a good, cute friend to Tharn???? I did think he liked Tharn when they told him he was dating Type and he dropped the glass but I didn't think that was alarming. He was actually my fave character in the series until I realised I shouldn't like him according to reddit huehuhe. That baby-face really had me fooled. Otherwise, I don't know what my thoughts are tbh, Type is really handsome though haha. Most of the points go to Techno, he is the moment, he is a star baby. Also I hope Cir and Phugun from S2 get their own series, they are adorable.

Rating: 4/10 S1, 6.5/10 S2 (mainly for LeoFiat and CirPhugun)

Kinnporsche

Still airing but omfg currently obsessed. Mafia and psychopaths??? As someone who is an avid crime show fan, this genre hits. Also the entire cast is so fucking hot. I love toxic, complex relationships and loose morals and murder sprees. The versatility of Free Fall as an OST is amazing, it's both badassery music, romantic music and clown music

Rating: 10/10 (1 million gazillion billion/10 for Free Fall by Slot Machine, deserves a Grammy or whatever the song award is)

My Engineer

Before I started watching I literally only knew about Ram and King (I also didn't know that Ram was Perth lmao, he looks so different with his hair up) so I thought they were the main couple. So when I started watching and I was introduced to Bohn and Duen I was like who tf are these two? But no, this series was actually very fun to watched and I enjoyed it. Frong hitting his head was probably the peak of comedy. Season 2 when?????

Rating: 8/10 (10/10 for Talay's hair, what I would give to run my hands through it)

Cutie Pie (spoilers, spoilers)

No one understands how hard I cried in the first episode wtf. ALSO THE HIAS ARE SO HOT WTF. Hia Yi is so scrumptious. I love them rich, cowardly, emotionally unavailable besties. My favourite scene in the entire series is when Hia Lian called Yi 'My dear' and then Yi immediately shudders and tells him 'you give me the creeps'. They are two hot besties. I also think Nuer/Syn has one of the best kiss scenes I've ever seen in a BL, also Nuer is so goddamn good looking okay I promise I will stop focusing on their looks. The OSTs for this series are the best OSTs in my opinion, when will they release that song Nu Kuea sang in Ep 11. The secretaries need their own series as well. The scene of Hia Lian turning around with tears in his eyes after Nu Kuea rejected his marriage proposal was one of the most devastating scenes that has ever happened, and my ass at 2:30am when the episode premiered could not take it. 'I love that doll the most' is such a hard hitting line, I bawled like a bitch okay T-T

Rating: 9/10 (loses one point because of that cursed dog YiDiao are now the unfortunate owners of, 1000/10 for the Hias)

Secret Crush on You

Okay I saw a lot of people saying how the series gets so good near the end and you just have to deal with the first half of it. And I completely understand all of these people. The beginning is a lot and it's so cringey and horrific lmao. But by the end, the way this series deals with incredibly serious topics is amazing. Some of the characters in here are the biggest green flags to exist. By the time I finished the series, I was definitely thinking that it was so worth it. I highly recommend this series. I want to talk about two of my favourite characters - Inntouch and Som. Som, she is the best of friends. She is amazing, she is so helpful and caring and the fact she knows her friends so well and gets emotional when they are suffering is beautiful. I love her so much. Inntouch is just as amazing as well, the way he is incredibly respectful of Daisy and loves Daisy no matter what they identify as is such a green flag. Also the subtletly of his affection for Daisy is so good, like the way he instantly smiles just that bit brighter when Daisy talks is TOO GOOD. And that smile is freaking gorgeous, urgh love him. Everytime Saint appeared, I died a little, that man does things to me holy crap.

Rating: starts off like a 6/10, ends up a 9/10

Colour Rush S2/Tinted with You

I watched this for Hyuk and Junhee. I couldn't watched the entire series (at least not legally) so I am probably missing somethings plotwise, but hey, let's be honest, I wasn't here for the plot.

Rating: 7/10 (gotta support the homies, stan VIXX and stan ACE)

YYY/Y-Destiny/Why R U

Couldn't finish these, just watched YYY and Y-Destiny for Talay T-T

Something about Why R U was not doing it for me :(((

Rating: 0/10 (but I'm sure they are series people can appreciate, I am just not one of them and that's on me)

will gradually add to this when i watch more bls heheh, also if you guys have any recommendations you think i would like based off my rankings and thoughts please let me know!