#made myself sad with this one 😭

[that-one-loth-cat]

Thinking about stuff for my Knightwolf AU and oh man. The night after Marrok dies in ep 4 must have been rough for him and Shin.

But first, some background:

I my au, Marrok is under an enchantment—a deal he made with Morgan shortly after joining her team. Part of this enchantment includes keeping him in a state of undeath (since that was a big thing with nightsisters) BUT! Every time he comes back he gets a little less corporeal. After he died the first time, signs of fading only just began to show. This life he’s still able to manipulate objects to an extent, but he’s see through and most of the time his body just moves through anything he isn’t wearing. He has the armor on full time because it’s easier to make it grab things than to try to hold on to them himself.

He’ll be back, but it’s clear he doesn’t have a lot of lives left. He and Shin have figured out where Morgan keeps the crystal holding his enchantment but they can’t just break it because then he’d probably die completely. They’ve been looking for a way to break his enchantment and bring him fully back for 2 years, and they’re not making much progress.

At the time of Ahsoka, Shin is trying so, so hard not to worry. Not to let Baylan or Morgan see how much his state is affecting her. And now he just died again. She thought they might have another year or two. Now it could be months, maybe weeks.

But they’ll figure it out. They have to. Because if she thinks about it too long she’s going to break down. And that’s not going to happen. Not when she’s fighting an angry Mandalorian and not when the person even kind of keeping her love alive has a job for her. That can happen later, when she’s safe and in her own room (and he can be there and maybe hold her. oh force, will he still be able to hold her this time around? To touch anything?) And to top it all off?? Now the angry Mandalorian is coming with them, and Shin can’t even hurt her. She’s is having a great day 🙃

Jump to like 11:30pm. Shin’s gotten Sabine where she needs to go and checked in with Baylan and basically is ready to go to bed for the night. She comes back to their room and it just hits her that he’s gone. Usually he comes back after a few hours but it’s almost midnight. She ends up on their bed, not crying, just in shock. Because she thinks she was wrong. He didn’t have enough life left to come back and now she’s alone and they didn’t even get to say to say goodbye. But then she hears his voice. For one moment she’s relieved, and then he’s apologizing that she can’t see him very well and he’ll see what he can do and somehow that’s what breaks her. He’s here but he’s also not and now they have no idea how much time they have left because how do you kill a shadow? (He could be here forever or he could be gone tomorrow) They end their day with her curled up on the bed, sobbing, and him wrapping whatever’s left of his essence around her, just as sad but still trying to offer comfort 😭

[fandom-space-princess]

(this never happened, and constructs cannot dream.)

Three thinks One might have liked to tell stories. It always had the best after-mission reports. It found ways to be subtly creative, dryly funny, right up to the limits of what was allowed. If it had been able, Three thinks it would have had a lot to say.

(you can't change the past. your ability to imagine a better one is constrained by your nature.)

Two was always very quiet, even when it didn't need to be. Three can believe that, given the chance, it might choose to do nothing but listen.

(they're gone, and you're here. you wonder what names you might have chosen for yourselves, if you had lived to be three in practice, instead of only you, Three, in name.)

you cannot dream of them. you cannot go back. but there is nothing stopping you now from remembering them as they might have liked to be remembered, and that will have to be enough.

-----------

Three misses them :(

[gen4grl]

you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol

i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)

[whollyjoly]

@luztoyeweek 2024 day 1 - i'll be seeing you by billie holliday

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[fumifooms]

Just finished Fool Night vol 7 (chap 63) and clutching my head. Mayhaps I shall never be the same. Oh Mukuru Izumi the villain that you are… "What’s back teryas? Veer usses?" "What’s oxygen? Is it like air?" "What’s that? What are you holding?" "Do you think I can live happily one day?" Just shoot me mysterious masked guy it’ll hurt less idc anymore just do it. This is my csm Aki I feel the tragedy in my bones even more here

It’s the cycle of revenge right, that goes on and on until there’s no one left to avenge the last one murdered— And the thought that there’d be no one that would remember or care or want or try to avenge Mukuru is the fucking saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Trying to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers but man. Fool Night, the manga that’ll make me cry over trees… Like so far I’ve only cried once and it was during the first umm trees field scene right, because it was simply too fucking real yeah that’d happen yeah, but my god. They’re not just trees they’re lives and they’re not just lives they’re humans and more but does it matter and what are souls???? What are feelings????? What is communication?????? "Oh sure I’ll bring you to Shiika." then that. evil.

…….. And also today I started NegaPosi Angler!!! Great and comfy so far very looking forward to watching it every week. For anyone who didn’t know yet I have a weird ultra fixation on fishing in media in general, Tsuritama and River King are two of my fave things, sooo this is perfect for me lol, came around just at the right time too. Big recommend. Surprisingly topical since both NegaPosi and Fool Night deal with poverty hm. It’s csm Denji meets FN Toshiro except this guy fixes his life through fishing. Bless.

2 works that make me say "I want to live!!" in very different ways! 😀 Fool Night’s out in english through Viz what are you doing here go check it out

[lilworms]

i love this little life or whatever

[spacespore]

HI TUMBLRR it’s me

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

[daz4i]

i literally can't think about life or the future for more than a few seconds without getting so distressed that i shut down. surely this is a good sign for things to come

[eijminds]

i finished reading jjk yesterday IM SO SAD i feel so fucking empty

[running-in-the-dark]

feeling real lonely lately, ngl

[weezerlvr228]

flippin boobahs!

[hood-ex]

Do you ever just cry about Leonardo? Because I'm crying about Leonardo.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[juliamccartney]

i've finally written and sent an email i've been meaning to send for two weeks and was sooo brave about it