#made it more queer and made some characters more complex
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PLEASE tell me about your Arrigal because Iâm obsessed w him
Alright okay wow sure!
Arrigal Kaldera is the second son of a prominent Vistani family. Like every member of his immediate family, he is a werewolf.
With his older brother as the head of the family, Arrigal was largely sidelined and left to his own devices, which suited him just fine. It allowed him to get away with not having a wife and kids, and leaving most of the whole serving Strahd business to other people.
Still, when push comes to shove, he will take on responsibility, often more than necessary.
When he came home from gallivanting on the Prime Material Plane and found his family had kidnapped a local child in order to blackmail its family, he took it upon himself to set things right, both for the sake of the boy and his family. Unfortunately, things went very wrong.
The consequences were dire - for everyone involved.
Plagued by guilt, he now avoids responsibility even more than before, but it seems he can neither escape the consequences of his actions nor fate itself.
And then there is the arrival of a group of adventurers who appear to be tied to the fabric of Barovia itself. A chance encounter with them led to an unusual friendship, especially with the cleric Galen, who knows a monster when he sees one, yet seems to see someone capable of kindness and tenderness when looking at Arrigal. (Homosexual behavior tbh)
As the story unfolds, he finds himself thrust both into the role of a leader and a slave, with more responsibility and less agency than ever before in his life.
(Ooff. Sorry that got long. I turned Arri into a stupidly complex character and this isn't even half of what's going on with him. A lot of his story is still spoilers, while other parts are tied to van Richten,Strahd and Ezmeralda)
#Curse of Strahd#arrigal#Cos: TGT#Curse of Strahd: The Golden Thread#i changed like 90% of the original story#made it more queer and made some characters more complex
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Is there any list of stuff you wanted to see more in autistic representation? I'm autistic and I'm quite "stereotype material": white savant male good at STEM and who's not aroace but don't want a partner, and it bugs me that it's always like that, so I wanted to know what other people would like to see when I try writing autistic people.
Hi!
Honestly, I just want more autistic characters in general. There are hardly any!
Here are some things that I have never seen represented:
characters with mid-high support needs, both related and unrelated to autism
characters who use AAC [link to post about high/low/no tech aac] and who struggle to communicate
characters with cerebral palsy, tourette's, intellectual disability, or any other common comorbid condition that's not ADHD
characters who don't live with their parents
characters who don't infodump or know a lot of facts about their special interests, just that their interests are the things they engage with
characters whose special interests aren't "useful" to their life
characters with "unusual" sensory needs (for example i always see characters who hate loud noises and bright lights, but i know many autistic people in real life who are not bothered by those or actively seek them out)
characters misdiagnosed in childhood with ODD or another common misdiagnosis, or neglected as a "difficult kid" even if they have higher support needs
characters who use gait trainers, adaptive strollers, or manual tilt in space chairs
characters who have a supportive community or know multiple other autistic people
adult characters in day programs
queer characters, especially ones whose sexuality or gender is difficult to separate from their autism
characters who have harmful stims and not only when they're upset
characters who are not big. (this might seem weird but there are a surprising number of tall/large/imposing autistic characters, especially those with higher support needs; that's not what every autistic person looks like!)
So Many More!! If every autistic writer made a character who was just like them, each one would have at least one autistic trait that has not been represented before.
Mod Rock
Hello!
To be honest, just characters that don't generalize autism. On one hand you have "representation" that's all "all autistics are boys, 12 or under, who like trains and barely speak" and on the other you have "hi, I'm a very low/no support needs autistic who is very socially acceptable and lol like imagine liking trains instead of having Real and Cool special interests like me" (sometimes it's overdone to the point the character quite literally doesn't have any autistic traits). Too much autistic representation made to combat a specific stereotype just ends up shitting on the people who do in fact exist. Some people say that "ahh all autistic rep is those damn boys with they trains!!" but I don't think anyone would say that this kind of representation is actually good or thoughtful - not because of the train or the boy, but because these characters are barely treated as humans most of the time.
We need more complex representation of all parts of the spectrum, from successful savants in STEM to "obviously disabled" autistics who are intellectually disabled, have huge mobility delays, and stim at all times, to "everyday" people who just have their special interest, don't get social cues, and are kinda awkward.
I'll take a "stereotypical" character that's actually explored and developed properly over a cardboard that's there to be a "subversion of autistic stereotypes" any day.
mod Sasza
Hi,
I largely agree with the mods above. Mostly I want autistic characters treated like people and not plot devices.
But I wanted to say specifically: I want autistic characters of color. I am basically begging to see more autistic characters who are not just white people. We exist too, and really I barely see characters who have autism and aren't white.
Also, I want to see autistic characters with romantic and/or sexual partners. I feel like autistic characters are often desexualized or infantilized in a way that has them only rarely having a partner.
And I also want to see autistic characters whose special interest[s] isn't "useful" to their life, it's just there. Just part of their life. Like, it isn't their job. I feel like that's often a default.
Like Sasza said, we really need more complex and thoughtful representation of the spectrum. I don't need 'subversion' of autistic stereotypes, not particularly.
The subversion itself would be an autistic character being more than a plot device and portrayed with thought and care to the things that make their life difficult, the ways their autism affects the way they interact with others and the world, the things that make the person unique and themselves, and not just focusing on one of those aspects and ignoring everything else.
Hope this helps,
mod sparrow
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Fangs of Fortune (Bai Ze Ling): perfect on pure aesthetics alone, but also it will tear your heart out while being very gay.

I was lured in to this show by Tumblr gifsets and friends on Bluesky talking about how queer and poly this show is. I'm old and I've been in fandom more than half my life. I know how to read queer subtext. I'm also pretty well versed in cdramas, so again, I know how to read subtext. So I went into this ready to, well, read the subtext.

But no this show is just puts the queer it right there in the text. The vague information we have about Chinese censorship repeatedly left me asking, 'wait how are they getting away with this?' Like some of these jokes and implications are just so blatant it seems incredible this show ever made it to being broadcast. It just feels very much like queer media made for queer people even if t's more subtle than something western like Queer as Folk.

Even without the heavy coloring of gay this show is incredible and so much more than I expected from the title and the promo. The premise is essentially the death of the goddess, who governed relations between humans and demons, leads to an influx of demons in the human world. This brings together the goddess's disciple, Wen Xiao--seeking to restore the goddess's power. WX's childhood sweetheart, Zhuo Yichen--seeking to restore the demon-hunting bureau after the powerful demon Zhu Yan killed his father and brother. It opens on Zhu Yan, in human disguise as as Zhao Yuanzhou, volunteering to help the imperial court restore the demon-hunting bureau to quell the chaos. They are joined by Pei Sijing, a retired female general from the rival demon hunting sect, and a very young doctor (and comic relief) named Bai Jiu. It starts off as a sort of monster-of-the-week with a grim Scooby gang doing detective work and fighting monsters. Each major demon has a mini arc that relates to the larger case (restoring the power of the goddess to balance the realms), and they are repeatedly blocked by either the demons or the rival demon hunting sect. Each mini arc also acts as a mirror or parallel story to slowly revealed backstory of all the main characters as well. In true cdrama fashion it's a mix of adventure, intense emotional drama, romance, and comedy. And queer and poly jokes and romance. It also has a kind of manga vibe in the way the comedy is woven into the more serious story, and in the fantastical depiction of the characters and how the story unfolds.


It is also just insanely beautiful. Every single shot is lovely. The costumes, make up, and hair are incredible. The casting director made all the major demons inhumanly beautiful. The sets are spectacular. The effects are nicely done. Every bit of has the vague surreality of a fairytale. The perfection of each shot ads to the manga vibe, as if we're seeing each critical storytelling panel come alive. There's recurring water-based special effects that are just gorgeous. Based on aesthetics alone this show would be worth watching to me. That it is combined with a complex, very emotional story is a spectacular gift to the watcher. A lot of the negative reviews of this complain about the staginess or that it's overly contrived in how each scene is shot. But I think it's gorgeous, works perfectly with the storytelling, and if we criticize art on whether it achieves the goal it intended then this show is doing exactly and perfectly what it means to do and doing it beautifully.

Additionally the acting is also very good, but Neo Hou is the stand out for sure. I enjoyed him in Back from the Brink, especially the later part of the story, but in Fangs of Fortune he's transformed, utterly embodying the role, the way Dylan Wang is Dongfang Qingcang in Love Between Fairy and Devil. Neo Hou has the right look, a slightly uncanny beauty perfect for a gorgeous immortal not of this world. The show does incredible things with his styling between the various looks and personas the role requires. But in acting he somehow manages to utterly transform his face and demeanor to manifest each aspect of the character as story demands changes from him.

There is a lot of crying in this drama. Like early on I joked that there was going to be a character crying a single perfect tear in every ep. Lol nope. Multiple single perfect tears per ep and many outright full on sobbing scenes. This show is just waiting to rip your heart out and you see it right from the beginning. But it was such sweet pain all the way through. Just a truly engaging and utterly wrenching set of intertwined stories.

My only criticism is that the pacing falls apart in the last 3 episodes. But overall the story is solid through the end, though like so many cdramas, it's saved by the epilogue.

You should absolutely watch it if you want the chaotic bi polycule (it's her, her girlfriend, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's boyfriend who is also her boyfriend, their two idiot sons, and her boyfriend's ex-who is also eventually sort of his boyfriend again), or if you want your heart torn out and stomped on. Or even if you just like really gorgeous cinematic things. Also if you watch, please don't skip the ending credits, as they change as the arcs change, and the radiant joy Tian Jiarui has as he dances is an excellent antidote to the emotions of each episode.

#Fangs of Fortune#大梌ĺ˝çŚť#Bai Ze Ling#cdrama#Hou Minghao#Neo Hou#䞯ćć#Zhao Yuanzhou#Chen Duling#Wen Xiao#Tian Jia Rui#Zhuo Yichen#Cheng Xiao#Pei Sijing#Lin Ziye#Bai Jiu#Yan An#Li Lun#ab-HMH-mine#ab-reviews#it's really the xianxia polycule of dreams#which I didn't know to hope for until this show spoonfed it to me
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Listen. I had fun the last time, so i'm gonna leave here another list of my Riordanverse unpopular opinions/hot takes. I hope no one is gonna cancel me:
- Throwing every single female character in the hunters is lazy writing and kinda OOC for Reyna;
- The Cupid scene is disgusting and the fact that it was made by a queer god makes it even worse;
- Jason and Nico's friendship >>> Percy and Jason's friendship. Nico and Jason were more foils than the latter and Percy will ever be;
- Leo and Nico should have been friends, and the fact that Leo was so scarred of him in HoO is wasted potential;
- Today Percy is basically the not-so-unconfirmed most powerful demigod BUT both Nico and Hazel have the potential to being more powerful than him. However, since Percy is based on Rick's own son he refuses to elaborate on it;
- Actually GROVER is Percy's best friend, not Jason, and in HoO Annabeth and Piper had a more "kinda homoerotic bromance" going on than their boyfriends ever had;
- Aside from that, Jason is clearly alive. Trow that ToA scene away;
- Nico killing Bryce Lawrence is both the most terrifying and the best scene in both PJo and HoO;
- It would have been better if Hazel and Frank were friends-crushingoneachother during HoO and started dating in ToA;
- Riordan's amatonormativity wasted the potential of many characters (like Nico and Leo) and the potential of many friendships;
- Caleo is acceptable in HoO but in ToA it fucking sucks;
- Actually it would have been interesting if Calypso discovered herself as a lesbian during ToA OR in a possible Leo's standalone novel;
- In terms of capabilities, storylines and roles in the plot Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Hazel and Reyna are Riordan's most badass characters. Others (mostly Thalia, Jason and Piper) have the potential but are underdeveloped;
- And that in my opinion is HoO biggest problem: the series has many new interesting characters (Hazel, Leo, Reyna, Jason) but they are underdeveloped in favor of 1) romance and 2) Percabeth being in the major spotlight;
- I have mixed feeling about Percy and Annabeth being part of the Seven;
- Fierrochase >>>>> Solangelo;
- Tsats is utter dogshit and it is REALLY hard to consider it canon;
- Canon Solangelo is ableist and the fact that a big part of the fandom has no problem with it is kinda disturbing. Also some fanon solangelo contents are ableist as well and it is partly RR's fault;
- The fandom basically wrote and characterized Will Solace's character. Neither Riordan or Mark Oshiro give a fuck about him, and problably that's NOT gonna improve in the Tsats sequel;
- Accusing people who don't like solangelo and/or Tsats of homophobia is like the dumbest take ever;
- RR's representation characters are a concentration of stereotypes;
- It would have been better if Piper had her self-discovering - queer storyline from the beginning of HoO. It would have made her more interesting and relatable;
- Even more, it would have been more interesting if Piper had her queer-reveal storyline in HoO THANKS to her not-so-straight chemistry with Annabeth;
- Making Nico a overly morally correct/morally "pure" character makes him less interesting;
- CJ >>> CHB;
- Nico should be a rough demigod;
- It is heavily implied that the majority of CHB STILL doesn't like Nico and they only "tolerate" him because they like Will;
- Bisexual Jason is better and makes more sense than bisexual Percy. Jason's arc is basically a metaphor of bisexuality;
- It makes me sad how RR basically throw away every other Nico's beautiful relationships (with Jason, Reyna, Hazel, even Percy..) in favor of solangelo. Nico WAS a complex and developed character, now he's kinda just "the gay one";
- With his latest works RR is ruining his own franchise;
- PJo>>>>>>MG>>>ToA>>HoO;
#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of the olympus#trials of apollo#pjo#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#nico di angelo#nico pjo#jason grace#piper mclean#leo valdez#calypso pjo#reyna avila ramirez arellano#will solace#magnus chase#alex fierro#frank zhang#hazel levesque#fierrochase#frazel#caleo#riordanverse#rick riordan#mark oshiro#rr crit#anti tsats#tsats crit
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13 spoiler-free reasons why you should read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun
...if you haven't done so already đ (With "spoiler-free" I mean I'm not describing plot points or characters, but under the cut I'll discuss the overarching themes, so be warned if that's too much for you. The first 7 reasons may be enough lol)
It's both funny AND wholesome. I literally can't read it without laughing out loud, and there are a bunch of chapters that make me cry every time I read them.
It's clever! The Japanese version contains several puns based on the kanji "é" (read "ma", = devil, demon), starting from the title, but it's a recurring pun. The English translation adapts them pretty well. Plus, there are some of the best plot twists in recorded history (IMO). And the names and characteristics of most characters are based on real-life demonology.
It's queer AF. Like, really gay. There are explicitly homoromantic relationships and several nonbinary and gender non-conforming characters. One of these is the best unashamedly nonbinary character ever written. Plus, the manga premise can be seen as an allegory of hiding in the closet. The only thing that made me uncomfortable because of cisnormativity (boys in drag as a joke) is completely fixed in later chapters, and very well so.
It's feminist, without being preachy or paternalistic. Simply put, the women/girls are three-dimensional, complex characters, as the norm should be. And there are lots of them, without it being a harem (...the harem trope is actually used as a joke).
It's spooky and adorable, imagine Halloween vibes all year round. Both main and background characters are super diverse, and if you like monsters there is stuff for you.
Most characters are neurodivergent-coded. It's basically the autistic/ADHD manga.
The art is phenomenal. It's especially good to see the improvement of the art style over the years (the first chapter was published in 2017 and the manga is ongoing). Some panels are really breathtaking.
8. The story is about personal growth - like most shounen manga, fair enough. But the protagonist, Iruma, is so far from toxic masculinity I dare say he's the antidote to it.
9. It's also about found family, the discovery of unconditional love, and trust, and healing from familial trauma.
10. It's about finding a group of friends you belong to, and transforming your weirdness into a strength, identifying and cultivating what you're good at instead of fitting into a mold.
11. It's about the beauty of learning in your own way, and the importance of education and the shaping of future generations.
12. And the reason why I opened this blog: it's about fascism and fighting against it. I mean real fascism, as in "a powerful individual/group wants society to be hierarchical and oppress certain minorities, elevating a specific subset of the population based on intrinsic characteristics which are being misleadingly treated as merits". Ethno-nationalistic stuff. More specifically, it's about being a somewhat politically illiterate person, who learns about systems of oppression beyond personal injustices. It's about questioning what is the best way to arrange society.
13. Most importantly, this manga gives you hope about the future, something I find harder and harder to have. Hopelessness is dangerous - as people without hope stop fighting. This manga makes me actively feel better. Since it's ongoing I can't ensure it will always remain that way, but I've come to trust the author enough that I expect it to.
#osamu nish my beloved#this manga was seriously life-changing for me#i can't overstate this#partially writing this post as a reference for myself#because i recommend m!ik to most people i know#so i have all the reasons in one place lmao#feel free to use this the same way#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#wtdsik#iruma kun#mairuma
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@netflix @netflix @netflix
iâm so fucking done like what the fuck fuck fucking fuck. i was mad about 1899, because dark was so good and i wanted more from the creators. i was saddened by i am not ok with this, because i loved the characters and wanted to finish the story. i was devastated by the oa, because it was such a beautiful show and i needed to know what happened next.
but this is too fucking much. GUYS. the sandman universe is going, itâs getting more episodes and expanding. dbd made it to the top 3, that alone should automatically get it renewed. dbd is honestly one of my absolute favourite shows of all time. itâs funny and complex and has some of the best queer rep ever, it deals with important themes and has loveable characters and a beautifully realised world.
PLEASE, i beg of anyone who sees this, whether theyâre a fan of dbd or not, to BLAST netflix in any way you can. tag them, message them, write to them en masse. like iâm so serious. literally write a letter by hand or print it out, and physically send it to netflix headquarters.
fucking do it, please. we cannot lose this lovely and beautiful and witty show. maybe, though the chances are slim and there are probably legal challenges, it can be picked up again by max, which was what originally produced the show anyways.
@netflix @netflix @netflix
#will incessantly posting and tagging them actually do anything to help the show at this point? unlikely.#but at the very least itâll be mildly annoying for the social media interns and netflix as a corporation deserves that#netflix#netflix geeked#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#george rexstrew#charles rowland#jayden revri#payneland#niko sasaki#yuyu kitamura#crystal palace#kassius nelson#the sandman#the endless#fuck netflix#save the oa#save 1899#starlightseraphâs brainrot
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I don't want to get too deeply into this in a post that I would encourage people to reblog, but one main reason that Dead Boy Detectives hits so hard for me is the lack of justice.
When I was in high school, some genuinely horrific things happened to me and several other girls. Obviously, it wasn't the same since we, you know, survived. But the Bad(tm) involved a teacher who was then investigated a few years later. We all went back and worked with both the cops and the school district to try and get justice for ourselves and the other victims.
The district did nothing. They had the teacher to resign in the interests of preventing a scandal. Like St Hilarions. What happened to us didn't matter, and the school covered it up just as they covered up Charles's death.
The first time I watched DBDA, Edwin's little speech at the end of episode 1 resonated with me in an incredibly deep way. Here was a person - two people - who did not get any semblance of justice for a grave wrong. I could easily feel Edwin's deep hurt because I experience the same hurt every time I remember what happened to me. It never stops being a raw open wound that sits in your chest, and the cover-up can sometimes hurt more than even the actual event.
For the first time, in DBDA, I was seeing people who were wronged like me. More than that, though, I was seeing people seek out justice for others because they did not get it for themselves. I was seeing an alternate version of my own story play out onscreen, and both Edwin and Charles made me feel much less alone.
They still do. Those boys will always hold a really special place in my heart for a lot of reasons, but this is a major one.
And, like me and at least three of the other girls involved in the Incident at my school, Edwin is canonically queer. And his queerness is handled so well, shown positively but also just as a small part of this rich, nuanced, complex character. He feels so authentic, like someone I could have met and loved in the real world. No part of him feels like a caricature, which is a rare thing in queer media.
Seeing Netflix cancel this show and end the boys' stories in such an unjust way feels like a reopening of those old wounds. These stories matter. They have to matter.
They do matter. Charles and Edwin showed me that, because they are wonderful and special and their story is resonant and wonderful. And to watch Netflix treat this story as though it's insignificant hurts So. Fucking. Badly.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#personal#ok to rb#edwin payne#charles rowland
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I love Heesu in Class 2 a LOT. As a long time kdrama romance watcher this show appeals to me because of what it reveals about the changes happening in Korean entertainment.
This was given a true kdrama treatment with fluid group dynamics, fully fleshed out characters (and side characters!) rooted with their families and friends. Oh it's so highschool loves and crushes but also just kind friendships. I'm seeing a lot of criticism that the other friends were given importance or that some viewers don't like the time spent on familiy and extracurricular storylines but I feel that it actually elevates Heesu and Seungwon. Their story is richer because of their friendships and families. I know fans will probably just make a HeesuSeungwon cut but then their characters won't make sense. They are much fuller characters that go beyond their loveline.
Do you even see the level of care in the production? The set design, the size and complexity of the supporting staff, the variety of locations, the lack of punching down for its queer characters? I watch the end credits every episode to see the long list of sponsors. This is the kind of drama that I hope Korean kids are watching with their parents and peers. Just like Century of Love was a Lakorn, Heesu in Class 2 is a Kdrama. This is how you get engagement from others. It's not a BL made for fan girls and it's not just a queer show made with a queer lens. It's a show made with care that elevates its queer characters and queer romance so the hets in the audience root for them and see them as stars deserving of their own romance. Remember kids, representation matters to more than those in the marginalized group. I just hope this show is getting a lot of love and support. If I have to go back to the days of Personal Taste and Wedding Impossible to watch my queer characters be disrespected or settle for the short form queer shows with 5 cast members and 2 sets I will be so disappointed.
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I guess I'm about to get real vulnerable on main here, but I saw some kinda "BookTok" disk horse cross my BlueSky feed, and it's got me thinking in a way I really can only discuss without a character limit. But it feels kind of relative to an over all trans creative experience. Maybe more specifically for us masc people, but. You know. Maybe the threads are different but the weave a similar picture. Anyway, this is kinda what my tumblr blog has become, and so here goes. Please note I also use 'queer' as an all encompassing term, as to me it is the most inclusive word I can use despite its dubious origins and history. Sorry if that upsets anyone.
The funniest thing about this whole conversation popping up was the fact that I had just been lamenting about finding the concept of 'romantasy' fun but what I'd give to find or read something with a transmasc protagonist paired with an opposite partner of any gender. Something my masc bisexual ass would love to see. Mostly because I see and support so many ones that are sapphic in nature, but hardly see any masculine. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places but Anyway. Just so happened that in the next hour I saw what I was looking for cross my Bsky feed, but with the author show casing the really nasty and negative comments he received on his concept. things like but not limited to:
"of course the transmasc character is a twink bottom" "just a girl who got a mastectomy" And other just Internalized Misogyny and Heteronormative things that affect a good portion of us transmasculine guys.
And idk, man it really struck a nerve with me.
If only because first and foremost, the author is writing something he wanted to see. Filling a niche and void he wanted to see realized, and like so many other authors' works, in a way that feels personal to him. And to attack it in such a way was pretty vile.
Queer stories and creations in of themselves are personal stories, because we write from our own experiences, and put them in our original works whether subtly or not so subtly. It's there, and you can't separate the queer experience from a queer work because by its very nature its queer. But also like, that experience isn't the same for everyone. And we shouldn't expect it to be. So, no, not every work is going to be what you want or associate with. But we should be uplifting all of it so that someone with an idea or concept that does speak to you will have the confidence to bring it to the table. And yeah. Unfortunately, that sometimes means that cliches are gonna happen. That twink ass transmasc might end up being a bottom 75% of the time.
But it also like, led me to associate my own struggle of accepting my own body and transness and some of my own preferences in the bedroom.
I'm not saying that all writers, artists, or creators are using their method of making art to explore their own hang ups with their gender and bodies, navigating this absolutely messy and strange world of norms and expectations while simultaneously seeming to want to turn them on their head. Gender is complex. Being trans is complex. And it gets weird, and sometimes we need outlets to work our way through it.
But also, most of us transmasc people have vaginas. It's just a fact of life. We've got a big ol' gaping axe wound of an organ sitting between our legs and for a lot of us, it still feels good to stick something in it, and we shouldn't be ashamed of that at all. And hell, a lot of us are short, considering our genetics are wired that way and no amount of HRT is going to change the fact some of us aren't going to get past 5'5". But sometimes, especially with what is expected to be masculine by gender norms, and the physical form of a cis male body, it can sometimes be really hard to reconcile that.
I know it was for me. To the point where I often struggled with my sexuality and my relationship with intimacy about it for a long time.
I made my character Akihiro while I was, and still am parsing through a lot of my own dysphoric issues, and paving my own way to acceptance. And that's made him a deeply personal character to me. And he has grown and changed as I project a lot of those issues on to him and his development. Akihiro has been an exploration of myself as much as he is an an original character that I role play. But not so much in the ways of personality, but more in the ways of the challenges with which he is presented and has to navigate himself.
Akihiro is a trans man in a world that is accepting of it. Society has progressed past these petty and arbitrary standards. But he becomes a cyborg at a time where the question is instead what it means to be human, and so...The aspect of depersonalization, dysphoria, and depersonalization he experiences at the hands of transhumanism is not so different than what I have and do experience in my own transition.
Akihiro wasn't always trans. That was honestly a pretty recent development and one that I did struggle with making. And I realized I was struggling with it because of those same dysphoric issues. And I just needed to let them go.
It was reflected in another recent development; the way that I had Akihiro handle his genitals when he was presented with the option to upgrade from none to a functioning set. And he chose to go with what he had been born with, the genitals he had when his body was mangled. He went with a vagina. Because he wanted to embrace the body he had taken for granted before he lost it, and not some idealized version of himself he could have obtained at any point prior.
And yeah. He 'bottoms' the majority of the time for his boyfriend because he enjoys it. But it doesn't stop him from topping him either, nor enjoying that. Nor had it stopped him previously from being intimate with other men and women. And that's his preference as a character.
And who are we to say it wasn't the same for this author? Where he is putting his feelings and acceptance of his own body and desires onto paper? And that is being met with such vitriol because it's not someone else's idea of what is masculine, or whatever. I don't know. Maybe they weren't. Maybe they did just wanna write some twink ass boy getting dicked down and like, that's fine too. Why do we have to be so mad about that?
And maybe this was just a lot of words to say that I think we get so wrapped up in words and labels for things that it completely erases the nuances of our own experiences and it turns right back around to being so queerphobic and limiting. And we don't give ourselves, much less other people, the grace to create the things they want to, and from a place of their own experience and desire. It's harmful.
#long post#azrael.txt#the transmasc struggle I guess#oh and booktok drama?#rambling about my OCs too#Akihiro is v important to me ok#holy shit this post got away from me.
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10 BLs That Shook Me
@trribledelight asked for "BLs that made you think or learn smthg or shook you culturally? Eg the political considerations in Not Me..."

Let's get the rough ones out of the way first, shall we?
1 2gether
Green. One of the most egregious reps for punching down humor against femmes in BL (and there sure are a lot out there). Seriously GMMTV? Must you?
At the time we all watched this because there wasn't anything else to watch, and it's been a long time since I bothered with a rewatch, but Green is one of the reasons I just can't with this series.
I'm not knocking the actor, but the character and how the other characters behave around him, and the director with regard to this aspect of the plot and portrayal was rough going.
What shook me was how casually homophobic 2g was. It was just so odd to watch a gay romance gloss over and degrade queerness. I was like, wait, aren't they supposed to me on our side?
(Ah, the before times.)

2 Fish Upon the Sky
Shall we address the head wrap in the room? This BL has some of the most shockingly racist content I've seen in a long time. Also punching down humor. I fast forwarded through it and I still don't want to think about it. GMMTV should be throughly ashamed of themselves... Again. I was shook, but in a bad way.
Okay, now for the ones that shook me in a good way.

3 Until We Meet Again
I watched this early in my Thai BL journey (while it was airing) and I had no idea what to expect. Frankly, you could watch it now and still not know. It's just very unusual for a Thai BL.
The plot twist about how they each ended up reborn. Just so brilliant. I still can't get over it. So simple. SO CLEVER. So punishing for the families.
Fantastic!

4 Secret Crush On You
This one kinda shook me all along but that Daisy & Touch scene. It lives on in my head rent free forever. Just because it was so beautifully sweet and genuine and kindly towards a femme character.
I still don't like this BL.
But I love that scene in it.
5 My Beautiful Man
I went on a JOURNEY with this show. Mostly because I didn't think Japan had it in them to land something this complex. But they managed it beautifully by not shying away from the delicious messy ugliness of it all.
Possibly the greatest final episode in all BL.
And from Japan. Usually so bad at endings.
I remain gobsmacked.

6 Unknown
I shouldn't have been shooketh by this one but I really was.
The style of it while staying so down home and gritty.
How old school Chinese BL it felt yet it still managed to be very modern BL about it.
The execution and quality of the acting.
How it was aired (available in YouTube?! we NEVER get that from Taiwan!)
Also the pair branding. We haven't gotten this level of pair brand from the leads in a Taiwanese BL since SamYu.
I'm was absolutely riveted by everything about this show and its production.
I loved seeing it. I hope we get more BLs like this from Taiwan as a result.
But I ALSO hope they realize that a big factor in the popularity and the success of this show was in distribution.
It's what's for dinner.
Along with the stepbrother trope.
KOREA'S SUPRISES
I watch a lot of Kdramas as well as BL, and have done for a really long time. I'm riveted by Hallyu, from an entertainment industry perspective (what I wouldn't do to get my hands on some of their proprietary data). I also listen to a ton of Kpop.
Therefore, Korea dominates the P'ABL gets shooketh list because I had (and have) more expectations firmly in place around Korea's media product sfyle than anyone elses. Even before they started to make a big play into the BL scene.
My favorite BLs from Korea, like Semantic Error and Light on Me are EXACTLY what I expect from them, manufactured perfection. But I was also shook more times by Korea than other BL nations because I had such rigid expectations.

7 Color Rush
Yeah yeah. But it starred an idol. It started out pretty and stiff and everything I was expecting and then the concept hit me up side the head and I never recovered from the CLEVER of this show. I'm not used to my Kdramas or my BL being this high concept and SMART about their sanitized perfection.

8 Blueming
What with the 8th Sense and others since, Blueming seems to have been somewhat forgotten about. But at the time, I was shook by the down home grit of this show. By the actual pain from the characters. By the higher heat concept. By Korea actually going THERE.
And then these babies came along...

9 The 8th Sense
I just didn't think Korea had it in them. Yes, I realize now that it was a bit navel gazey, and we were weighted heavily towards the seme and his pain. I would have liked a better balance between the leads, but that's in retrospect.
At the time I couldn't believe it. A KBL dealing with mental health?
And can we talk about those sex scenes? How insanely comfortable the actors were with each other? How easy in each other's personal space? I've not seen anything else quite like that from Korea. It's super rare. I had assumed they, culturally, just didn't do casual intimacy, or if they did, it wasn't allowed on screen.
Of course now I know the CAN do it, I want more.

10 Love for Love's Sake
Okay, lots to unpack with this one. A genuine isakai BL, in the original sense of the term. The death twist didn't shake me up, but the execution, acting, open gayness, and a couple other things did. Enough to make me still think on this show with fond surprise and affection, despite its undercurrent of darkness.
I like to be shooketh.

(source)
#BLs That Shook Me#I was shooketh#some badly some in a good way#Thai BL#Taiwanese BL#Korean BL#2gether#fish upon the sky#Until We Meet Again#secret crush on you#SCOY#My Beautiful Man#Japanese BL#Unknown#Unknown the series#color rush#blueming#the 8th sense#Eighth Sense#Love for Love's Sake
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Heesu in Class 2: I Love Me an Adaptation
I just finished reading the manhwa for Heesu in Class 2 and I have to say that I am really looking forward to seeing how this show plays out! (Warning, this post may contain spoilers)
From an adaptations perspective I am interested in the ways in which a source material is maintained or changed and while sometimes an adaptation can be really bad (looking at you ATLA film) there are times where the changes result in a vast improvement to the story (looking at you Scorpion King in Word of Honor).Â
And I have to say, four episodes in to Heesu in Class 2 I am really loving the changes that they have made to the story. While the manhwa was very cute, it was admittedly a pretty standard BL storyline, there is little to no conflict, all the characters are kinda one note, and some of the vital supporting characters have no depth to them at all.Â
gif by @taeminie
In case you are curious about what is different between the manhwa and the television show so far, here they are:
Hee Suâs notoriety for being a dating expert occurs through rumors rather than having any level of credibility to it, unlike in the show where we do see that heâs established a legitimate reputation for it.Â
Chan Young does not play tennis.Â
We know nothing about Choi Jiyuâs home life, she is not a secret singer, etc.
Seung Won is the one who tells Hee Su that he has a crush on Choi Jiyu in the manhwa rather than having Hee Su just assume that is who his crush is and pushing them together.Â
Chan Young knows that Hee Su has a crush on him and starts to team up with Choi Jiyu and Seung Won to get Hee Su and Seung Won to spend more time together in hopes that Hee Su will realize his feelings for Seung Won.Â
No one is harassing Hee Su about his feelings for Chan Young, messaging him anonymously on instagram, or taking stalker style photos of him.Â
Chan Young does not date Choi Jiyu and the two do not appear to have any romantic feelings for each other throughout the main story of the manhwa and Chan Young actually has a different girlfriend the entire time though we barely ever meet her. As such, there is no point in which Hee Su attempts to undermine the blossoming romance between Chan Young and Choi Jiyu by flinging Seung Won at the problem and hoping that getting the two of them together can prevent Chan Young and Choi Jiyu from dating leaving Chan Young open for him.Â
gif by @taeminie
Which isâŚa huge difference, but a choice that I currently feel is the right change to make. I am really liking that this story is given more complexity, and considering that Chan Young and Choi Jiyu play pretty plot critical roles in getting Hee Su and Seung Won together in the manhwa, I am appreciative of the change to expand their characters outward and to learn more about them, their struggles, and the ways in which assumptions are correctly or incorrectly applied to them. Â
Especially considering the fact that manhwa Chan Young is aware of Hee Suâs crush on him the entire time, continues to maintain that friendship with him while gently putting some barriers in place to subtly let Hee Su know that Chan Young cannot reciprocate his feelings, and has done his own research about being queer and faced some actual consequences from his own family as a result, I want to know more about him.Â
The story we got in the manhwa is cute, but for me it feels too pristine, too perfect. None of the characters really fuck up, they might delay their own confessions due to anxiety or misunderstanding, but at the end of the day there are no wrong choices truly being made. I am so interested to see this TV version of Heesu in Class 2 where things are messier, where Hee Su is flawed, where we donât know how much Chan Young is or is not aware of Hee Suâs feelings for him. These are high schoolers, I would never expect them to make the right decisions all the time, and based on how obsessive Hee Suâs personality is in the manhwa it makes complete and total sense that he would try to throw Seung Won at Choi Jiyu in an effort to prevent Chan Young from drifting further away from him.Â
gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses
I want to see this little friendship group implode, I want to see Hee Su losing control of the situation he has put them all in to, I want Hee Su to have to confess to Chan Young and to get rejected and to have to learn to move on from that. The manhwa just has Hee Suâs feelings casually change for Chan Young as he spends more time with Seung Won and starts crushing on him. But I think having that moment of actual heartbreak, of understanding that real life does not always involve getting the straight boy to realize that heâs queer, that his possessiveness over Chan Young has played a tangible, active, and serious role in harming him, Seung Won, Choi Jiyu, and Hee Su himself and having to grapple with that would be a far more compelling narrative for me. And to be fair, I have no idea whether any of what I just said is going to happen in the show, but I do think that the way the plot has been set up provides possible pathways to these kinds of more dramatic, more serious results.Â
While the manhwa does exist outside of the bubble, I feel like the current set up, the mystery texter, not knowing how much Chan Young is aware of Hee Suâs feelings for him has positioned the show deeper in to a real world context with higher stakes to being queer and confessing.Â
All of this to say that while I have a broad strokes understanding of where this plot is heading, I donât actually know what is waiting for me in the next six episodes and I am really excited by the prospect of that. I am really looking forward to seeing how this new story plays out. It feels more rooted in reality which I tend to appreciate and expect more from live action television than from manhwa for the simple fact that you are using real humans. And as a queer person who has been pumping BL in to my veins without stopping for three years now, it is so deeply important to me that we are getting a story with more complex queer characters. I want more stories where we are allowed to fuck up, to not make the right choices, to not be perfect, to have to learn from mistakes, to grow as people, and currently Heesu in Class 2 is setting up a story that does just that.Â
gif by @hughungrybear
That said, if they take Seung Wonâs gay moms and the comfort and sense of belonging that Hee Su gets from seeing an older happy queer couple away from me, I will riot.Â
TL;DR I just finished the manhwa and I am a really big fan of the changes the live action have made to the story to give it more complexity and to add dimensionality to its characters and I look forward to seeing how it all plays out.
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I do think Voltron happened in a weird time period where, during the writing process there wasnât really much queer representation in childrenâs media. (As well as, how much of that rep was deep and complex and focused heavily on the relationship between the m/m or f/f ships? Vs just an implication that two characters got together?) So Execs would be hesitant to make that big step to have a queer relationship, thereâs a market of homophobic viewers (and straight up countries) theyâd loss. Itâs too risky.
Then as Voltron came out representation was getting a bit better, both in cartoons and just in society in general (rainbow capitalism and stuff, theyâre profiting from us but at least theyâre including us ya know.) So maybe Execs could live with a character being implied to possibly be gay in some kind of way. And there was groundwork for Shiro to be revealed as gay rep, if they ever decided to go that route. It could be a possibility.
And the fans wanted queer representation. And eventually the higher ups were ok with a male character saying to another gay man ���Youâre like a brother to me. I love you.â In the most gut wrenching voice that made the actual VA cry while recording. A younger generation didnât grow up with the necessity to add subtext to queer relationships. In more recent years characters were just queer. So theyâve got no idea of the âno homo broâ trope. Why would they need to? Ironically enough the âYouâre like a brother to meâ line was probably meant to add deniability to the gay allegations to keep a broader audience. But the people who were the most loud about championing Queer Representation saw that and went No They Are Not Gay.
#mine#Voltron#Sheith#aaaaannd sending this post into the void#I should sleeping rn#just rambling I guess#fandom#fandom drama#shipping drama#shipping discourse#you donât have to like the ship but the immediate denial at the Bro is kindaâŚintrospection is needed I think#if Voltron came out 5 years in the future the landscape of fandom would be totally different
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The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays
Last weekend, both @twig-tea and I had time off and were in the mood to binge something, so Twig suggested we finally watch The Miracle of Teddy Bear. Both of us had missed it while it was airing live (because it didnât have international distribution) and had been given the impression by others that it had a sad ending that included some anti-queer messages. It was also very long, so we were not exactly rushing to get to it. But we are stubborn and like to judge things for ourselves, so we decided since we had the time and the show was now available, we should jump in. And imagine our surprise when we found out everything we had been told about it was wrong (we have our theories about why). This is one of the best queer dramas we have ever seen, with phenomenal acting, writing, and direction, and we have so much to say about it. The post that follows is co-written by the two of us. Strap in, folks, because itâs a long one.
If you havenât seen this show yet and donât want any spoilers, stop reading this right now and head over to YouTube, where international fans can now watch it for free with English subtitles. Weâre going to go deep on the show below, and because this drama is designed to slowly reveal information in a very deliberate way, nearly everything counts as a spoiler. Weâll try not to give too much away in the early sections, but be warned!
The Story
The Miracle of Teddy Bear is the tale of a deeply traumatized gay man in desperate need of healing, and the teddy bear who comes to life to help him. In the process of taking care of his person, our bear uncovers deep family trauma and many secrets and lies, accidentally solves crimes, makes lots of friends, heals a family, and saves several lives. He is a very good bear, and through this adventure he contemplates his own existence, learns how to be human, and discovers what it means to truly love someone.Â
This is primarily a family drama with important things to say about queer truth, and while it includes several bl storylines, it is not a romance. Intertwined with the family drama is a bl show within the show and a series of interrelated mysteries that slowly get unraveled as the story goes on. One of the things this show does best is parcel out information from various perspectives at the perfect time to keep the viewer one step behindâwe found ourselves constantly almost guessing what the show was going to do next, but it always chose a direction a little to the left and surprised us in the best way.Â
In the end, every question we asked was answered, and every time we thought a characterâs motivation felt a little too shallow, we were given more. The experience of watching this show was deeply satisfying and really made us feel seen. This show gets us.Â
The Characters
The Bear: Tofu
Tofu is the titular teddy bear who comes to life via drama magic and does his best to support his person. He starts the series incredibly innocent, and the show and his actor, Inn Sarin, do an incredible job of depicting the change in him as he lives life as a human, becoming more complex and less naive. Tofu is the heart of the show, and it is his love and kindness that enable the growth of the other characters in this story.Â
The Core Family: Nut, Na, and Kuenchai
Nut is our protagonist, and his struggles with life as a gay man are the soul of this story. He lives with his mom, Na, and their dog, Kuenchai, and Tofu is his beloved teddy bear. Yes, Nut is a cranky ass grown man with a beloved teddy bear. It will make sense eventually, we promise. Nut is a bl novelist working through old trauma via adapting his work for the screen. Na is a woman who has been Going Through It, and while we start the story with only the vague sense that something is not quite right with her, we spend a lot of time on her history as well as her growth in the present until we get the full picture. The way Nut and Naâs stories are tied together gets to several of the core themes of this show (discussed more below).Â
The Sides: Gen, Song, Prib, and the nosy neighbors
Our cast of friends and allies who support Nut and Tofu and have romantic trials and tribulations of their own. Without giving too much away, weâll just say this: all of these characters have satisfying arcs, and some of them may have caused us to squeal in delight.Â
Specters of the Past: Neung and Tarn
Telling you literally anything about them is a major spoiler so just know they are here and they are important and you will fully understand why and how by the end. Oh yeah, and Neung looks exactly like Tofu (or should we say Tofu looks like Neung?) for Reasons (which are explained! We love this show).
Villains: Saen, Sib, Jan, and Parit
Expect these four to show up often and cause a lot of trouble. Their motives and exact crimes are revealed over the course of the show.
Other Elders: Anik, Juea, Kanya and Sittha
They are mostly here to serve a few key plot functions and represent a spectrum of parental figures (related by blood and not) and acceptance of queerness.
And we cannot forget: The inanimate objects
In this show, inanimate objects can come to life under a certain set of magical conditions, and they are Tofuâs friends and helpers along the way. Some of their stories are shockingly touching! They also add some needed levity to the show, especially the grumpy ones. Special shoutout to the cactus and the spare blanket, our crime solving MVPs. We have to admit, the animation for these took a bit of getting used to, but within a couple of episodes we were cheering these creepy blinking eyes on.Â
The Themes
And here is where we start to get into spoiler territory about specific character arcs. This show had so many clear and well-articulated themes, and they stayed consistent throughout the story.
Queer people can be happy
This is stated explicitly as well as demonstrated through multiple storylines: gay men can love each other, have good relationships and fulfilling sex lives, and get their happy endings. Those who argue that people should fight against their queerness because it will make their lives harder and keep them from happiness are not just wrong, they have it backwards.Â
Queer people can only be happy by living their truth
This is perhaps the main thesis of this show, and it comes across in so many ways over the arc of the story. We see this theme exemplified in particular through Nut, Tarn, Song, and Gen, with each of them representing different versions of the queer experience that shape who they are and how they show up in the world. Even before the story tells you, itâs clear what kind of experiences each has had from his relationship to his own queerness and his general demeanor and outlook on life. Nut has survived an abusive homophobic father, and that shows up in his anger, his self-protective rejection of others, and his struggle with emotional regulation. Gen has been raised by loving and accepting parents who support his choices in all ways, and this shows in his good humor, balanced perspective, and confidence to be himself. When we say good media should show, donât tell us its point, this is a fantastic example of what that means.Â
Accept and love your queer children or pay the price
Relatedly, this story is very interested in the consequences for parents who fail their queer children, and explores a whole spectrum of acceptance from enthusiastic support to negligent ambivalence to misguided suppression to violent bigotry. We see so many different parents and parental figures react to learning about their gay sons and gain insight into them by how they respondâand only the ones who manage to get it together to love and support their kids get to keep their families. Critically, the adults who fail their queer children are convinced theyâre acting in their best interests at the time, and we are along for the ride as the redeemable ones go through the stages of first admitting they were wrong but still thinking their intentions justify the pain they caused to fully acknowledging the damage they have done and making amends.Â
Be patient with others, you never know what theyâve been through
That said, the show also invites us to stop and consider what might be behind aberrant behavior before judging it. Tofu is unfailingly patient with others, and even with the worst people in this story, he always seeks to understand why they are behaving a certain way before giving up on them. The show slowly and methodically reveals information that recontextualizes things we thought we understood and encourages us to keep digging for empathy and missing context. People in this story behave very badly and make a lot of mistakes, but a lot of it becomes more understandable once you have the full picture.
Unprocessed trauma will prevent you from healing and cause you to perpetuate harm on others
Speaking of bad behavior, so much of whatâs wrong in this story is driven by unprocessed trauma of one sort or another. Nutâs anger is at its core a deep hurt from being betrayed by the person he trusted most to be on his side. Naâs refusal to live in reality causes her to continue to hurt herself and her son. Saenâs denial about his own actions leads to far-reaching consequences he could not imagine. And the healing process depicted in the show is not linear; people who have made mistakes in the series make them more than once and advance and regress as the situation around them changes.Â
People are responsible for their own actions and inactions
And while the show is clear that trauma is the source of the bad behavior of these characters, it is also clear that this is not an excuse. Everyone in this story is held to account for the things they do, as well as the things they donât, no matter how understandable their reasons are. The people who refuse to heal face serious consequences in addition to seeing the damage their unprocessed trauma causes others.Â
Noble idiocy leads to everyone being unhappy
One of the biggest sources of said unprocessed trauma in this story is characters making self-sacrificial choices for the ostensible benefit of others and bringing misery to everyone in the process. We love a drama that recognizes noble idiocy for the selfish and destructive act it truly is and clearly says you have to communicate with your loved ones if you donât want to make a mess of everyoneâs lives.
You canât appease an abuser
No amount of hiding who you are or making yourself small will convince an abuser to treat you better or guarantee your safety. This theme is most obvious in the main storyline between Nut, Sib, and Na, but Jan is another example of a manipulative and emotionally abusive character who other characters continually try to play nice with, to no avail. She takes every opportunity to be cruel, whether the person sheâs talking to is kind or combative in return. The show reinforces that abusers will always find an excuse to justify their behavior; changing yourself for them is pointless.Â
Love is wanting the best for someone, even if that means letting goÂ
This is really the showâs core point where romance is concerned: being with you may not actually be what is best for the person you love, and if your love is true you have to accept that. The people who could not see thisâSaen and Janâwere the ones who continued to cause harm to their loved ones and themselves, while the characters who honestly worked towards the happiness of their beloveds even if that happiness was not with themselvesâTofu, Tarn, and eventually Pribâwere rewarded by seeing that happiness play out and ended our story truly content. The MVP of this theme is Tofu, whose pure teddy bear love for his person became more complicated and selfish as he became more human. But in the end, he held to the truth at his core that Nutâs happiness was his happiness.
You can have more than one great love, and one doesn't tarnish the others
Which brings us to one of the most beautiful takeaways from this show, and something that dramas so rarely do well. Nut loves two different men, neither more than the other, and he never chooses between them. They both hold important meaning in his life and he honors that whether they are with him or not. When Nut is with Tofu, he remembers his past love with fondness but he is clear that these memories do not make his love for Tofu any less real. A lesser show would have had those moments where Nut was thinking about his past cause him to distance himself from Tofu. But in this show, Nut sharing his past and working through his lack of closure was when he and Tofu had some of their closest and happiest moments together. This show is extremely clear that we can have happiness with more than one person over the course of our lives, and it is not only okay but encouraged!Â
The Resolution
From here, we will be talking about the ending, and so by necessity will no longer be avoiding major spoilers. If youâre intrigued by the above and want to avoid being spoiled fully, stop now! One of the things that is so brilliant about this show is the way information is slowly revealed, so if you think you would like this show we recommend experiencing it for yourself. If youâre still not convinced and need to know the ending before you decide, read on.Â
In our view, this story ends exactly as the show signals it will from the very beginningâand the way it shouldâand the ending is unambiguously a happy one. Tofu realizes that he and Tarnâs life forces are tied together, that it was Tarn going into his coma that caused him to awaken, and that as long as he continues to live as a human, Tarn will not recover. We and the characters have come to love Tofu in his guise as a human, but the truth is he does not belong thereâhe is a teddy bear, and for him to stay by robbing an actual human being of their life would be wrong. The story took pains throughout to show us how tenuous and restricted Tofuâs existence is, because he is not a real person and thus canât live a full life (for example, he canât get a job or safely leave the house because he doesnât have documentation or any life experience). We also see Tofu struggle so much with the added complexities of the human experience that he becomes ill with overwhelm multiple times. He repeats to us through the whole story that all he really wants is to be a comfort to Nut. While he finds value and joy in being human, it does not change who he is at his core. And so he allows himself to be poisoned by Jan, sacrificing his human existence to bring Tarn back and exposing Jan and Saenâs crimes in the process.Â
With this decision, the other characters get the chance to mourn him and move on. Nut grieves, finally makes the connection between human and teddy bear Tofu, goes to therapy (!), makes peace with his mother, and writes his love story with Tofu as his next show. Tarn wakes up and begins his recovery, and he and Nut slowly reconnect and rekindle their relationship over time. Na finds joy in her lucid moments and enjoys time with her family, finally free of the hell Saen and Sib unleashed on her life. Gen and Song get their happy ending with acceptance from Songâs dad, and Pribâs fixation on gay men becomes clear when her new female love interest enters the scene (letâs go, lesbians!). We get confirmation that the nosy neighbors are, in fact, an elder gay couple. Even Kuenchai and some of the inanimate objects have character arcs! Kuenchai is instrumental in making sure Nut is reunited with bear Tofu, and we get to see a slipper gain some independence from her other half and a grumpy bolster cuddle in to comfort her people when they need it.
We end our story with several happy families who love their gay children and a call for marriage equality via Nut and Tarn deciding to marry whether itâs legal or not. Tofu is a bear again but his human life is very much not forgottenâNut speaks to him every day, honors the love they shared, and talks about him openly with Tarn. And we even hear from Tofu again, see a final moment between him and Nut in a beautiful dream, and are reassured that Tofu is happy to still be with Nut in his original form and to see him living so well. Itâs everything he wanted, and he made it happen. He truly is the very best bear. Â
The Purpose
We wanted to take some space to get a little extra meta and talk about why this show matters so much in the broader queer media landscape. First, it was a landmark queer television event in Thailandâplease read this post by @flowerbeasblog to get the background on its significance in the cultural landscape. This show was broadcast very intentionally to educate and send a message to a broader audience in Thailand than is typically reached via bl dramas. And thatâs why understanding and taking its themes seriously is so very important.
This is a story that is deeply rooted in queer truth, written by a queer man who wants people like him to be seen and understood. The show puts forward an unapologetically pro-gay message on broadcast television (on a major national network! during primetime! that does not shy away from the sexual component of queer love!) and embeds important political commentary in a fantastic and engaging story in a format familiar and comfortable for the Thai audience. Itâs not meant to be received as a romance, and its nuanced and mature take on love and relationships is certainly not designed for ship wars. The writer even turns directly to the camera and underlines this in the final episode: while he respects the importance of bl in the media landscape, he has a bigger agenda in mind for this show and important things to say.
And thatâs why some of the discourse around this show is so frustrating. A small portion of international fans who watched this show live seemed to misunderstand it deeply and created such a false impression of it that it caused others to stay away. Contrary to some of the takes out there, this show does not have a sad ending, Tofuâs resolution is not remotely anti-queer, and there is no woman who ends up with Nut (we are so confused that this was anyoneâs interpretation; Nut at every age and several times within the show explicitly shouts about how very extremely gay he is). To see this story as a tragedy because Tofu âdiesââwhich he doesnât; his human body disappears but he returns to being a conscious and content teddy bearâis to misunderstand Tofuâs character journey, his narrative purpose, and his agency. We can only assume that shipping got in the way of comprehension here, and people who wanted to see human Tofu and Nut end up together focused on that to the exclusion of pretty much everything this show was saying and doing.
At the end of this story, Tofu is happy. To think that Nut was better off with Tofu than with Tarn is to not allow for the complexities of human experience; Nut did love Tofu, but he loved Tarn, too, and their relationship was a positive force in his life both before and after Tofu entered it. And Tarn was an actual gay human man in a coma who could not wake up while Tofu existed. Tofu was the creation of Tarnâs love for Nut; his existence was limited, and he found being a human extremely difficult. All Tofu wanted was to be Nutâs teddy bear and stay with Nut forever. He wanted Nut to be happy, because Tarn wanted Nut to be happy, and during his time as a human he worked to enable that happiness. He was instrumental in moving forward several stuck characters and uncovering many secrets, all of which were necessary for Nut to get to where he ends up at the end of the show. Being in a relationship with Nut was a bonus. He enjoyed the experience of being in love with Nut, but in the end he chose to sacrifice his human life so that Nut could have a permanent, lasting happiness with someone who was real. Tofuâs human death is not an example of the bury your gays trope; in fact, it is a total rebuke of it. Tofu, and this show, saved the gay men in this story and gave them full and happy lives. We cannot recommend watching and supporting this show enough.
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WRITER SARA HESS TALKING ABOUT RHAENYRA AND ALICENT'S RELATIONSHIP IN SEASON 1 AND THEIR MOTHERHOOD FOR VARIETY MAGAZINE.


âI can definitely understand that itâs hot watching complex female characters who have agency and who are trying to navigate the world and understand themselves. Like, that is hot,â nonbinary actor DâArcy says.
âAnd is very different from, I suppose, more two-dimensional portrayals of female sexuality.ââŻ
Cooke adds: âI guess whatâs alluring, and quite scintillating, is that they all live in quite close proximity to each other,â noting âHouse of the Dragonâ Season 1âs focus on keeping its characters near the Iron Throne in Kingâs Landing.
âStealing these loaded looks with someone that you fancy and thatâs forbidden, thatâs hot. Itâs all hot.â
âWe had a lot of conversation at the beginning about, is this a feature or a flaw?â Hess says.
âThereâs a lot of births, do we want to see a lot of births?âŻMy thinking was, every single childbirth Iâve ever seen on television, in any show,âŻin any genre at any time, has always looked exactly the same: the woman lying on her back with her feet inâŻthe stirrups and doing the pushing andâŻthe baby comes out.â
âIn my experience, womenâŻgive birth in vastly different ways.â
âI thought we should show them all and they be really, really different, separate experiences and not just, now thereâs that birth scene and we all know exactly what it looks like.â
FOLLOWING THE BIRTH SCENE IN EPISODE 6, D'ARCY RECALLS SHOOTING A PARTICULARLY REALISTIC MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD WHEN RHAENYRA FINALLY GETS TO REST AFTER GIVING BIRTH AND IMMEDIATELY GOING OFF TO SHOW THE BABY TO ALICENT:
âShe gets in and [her sons] Jace and Luke have gone and got a dragonâs egg and want her to look at it.â
âAnd I just remember responding, âWow, that looks perfect,â but not looking at them at all, I was looking in the other direction.
âAnd that felt like what a lot of parenting is probably like.â
FOR COOKE, THE MOTHERHOOD MENTALITY HIT IN EPISODE 9, WRITTEN BY HESS AND DIRECTED BY CLARE KILNER:
âThat moment in the carriage where Alicentâs hungover son asks her if she loves him, and she says it by smiling and saying, âYou imbecile.â
âLike, itâsâŻso obvious, this is all for you.â
âEverything that Iâve done.â
âEverything that Iâve sacrificed.â
âAll the awful things Iâve done in order to facilitate your ascension is because I love the bones of you.â
BUT MOTHERHOOD IS FAR FROM THE ONLY ASPECT OF A WOMAN'S LIFE THAT FEMALE WRITERS LIKE HESS AND WOMEN DIRECTORS INCLUDING KILNER AND PATEL INFUSED INTO THE STORY, WITH MUCH OF THE SEASON FOCUSING ON YOUNG ALICENT (EMILY CAREY) AND RHAENYRA (MILLY ALCOCK) AND THEIR DEEP BOND AND INTENSE FALLING OUT.
âThereâs an element of queerness to it,â Hess says.
âWhether you see it that way or as just the unbelievably passionate friendships that women have with each other at that age.â
âI think understanding that element of it sort of informs the entire rest of their relationship⌠Even though theyâre driven apart by all these societal, systemic elements and pressures and happenings, at the core of it, they knew each other as children, and they loved each other and that doesnât go away.â
Hess continued: âOlivia has told me she believes â and this is her headcanon â that they at some point kissed or made out or had some kind of physical interaction that Alicentâs mother found out about and forbade.â
âAnd that was Oliviaâs head story, âOh, I canât do that. Thatâs not right.â And thatâs the background for her in their relationship going forward. I would be 100% down with that.â
COOKE SAYS SHE AND D'ARCY HAVE âDEFINITELYâ TALKED ABOUT ALICENT AND RHAENYRA BEING âEACH OTHER'S FIRST LOVEâ:
âBut when it comes to our iterations of the characters, too much has happened and too much time has passed to probably even recognize those fledgling feelings.â
âBut Condal and Hess werenât ânecessarily interested in ever definingâ what that love meant in terms of the womenâs sexuality.â
âI happen to be a queer woman, but I know straight women who had âHeavenly Creaturesâ -esque, romantic friendship with their best friend at that age,â Hess said.
âThatâs something that I think, probably â I donât want to stereotype anybody â but it seems to be more a phenomenon with young women than it is with men, probably because whether youâre queer or not, society cares less if youâre physically intimate with each other or hugging or touching each other.â
âYou can have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed and nobody cares.â
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd s2#tv shows#team green#team black#queen alicent hightower#hotd alicent#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#rhaenyra#queen rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent x rhaenyra#emma d'arcy#hotd rhaenyra#sara hess#clare kilner#motherhood#hotd s2 spoilers#hotd spoilers#emily carey#milly alcock#hotd cast#interview#ryan condal#variety magazine#olivia cooke
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Hey, been thinking about your doc alot since I read it in terms of how I want to continue with my own writing and reading habits.
I hope this isn't a stupid question or too taxing for you to answer considering you just essentially wrote a dissertation, but what are your processes for finding, reading and interacting with truly inclusive 'x Reader' fics these days?
i think i suggested to start with bipoc authors and i included some questions to consider when reading/reblogging that should be in the doc, but i'll add some of my more personal opinions here today and tag some author recs while i'm yapping:
i don't think there's really a 100%-inclusive-to-everyone reader-insert but for all the reasons in that doc this is where i'd start
i'd start with bipoc authors 100% there's a rec list @javierpena-inatacvest collected recently here and @salingers made a bipoc authored rec list and tbr here and the @inclusivepedro-oscarlibrary (i'm sure there's more i'm missing)
extra shoutouts to some of my bipoc friends specifically bc they're so talented i'll dickride for them all day idgaf go read @gothcsz @yxtkiwiyxt @clubsoft @thundermartini @cxrsed-angel @lotusbxtch @letsgobarbs alsoooo read works that bipoc authors rec and share (though i imagine they're used to reading things that aren't inclusive but still support their peers so it's not like they'll have only have inclusive/diverse recs)
i'd also prioritize reading works by 2slgbtqia+ authors or authors who write queer fics or poly fics bc i'd guess they're likely writing stories outside of the colonizer script that revolves around whiteness, monogamy, and reproduction already
shoutouts to @miss-oranje-disco-dancer @for-a-longlongtime @sin-djarin @nonbinairyboi @itwasntimethatdidit40 for writing some of my fav queer fics and/or being my fav humans, i'm sure there's more of you i should be adding but i have goldfish brain soz <3
@pedrostories has some tag filters for their collection that might help too (i'm soooo glad there are organized folks among us)
(i think someone was collecting recs for stories with trans characters on monday for trans day of visibility but i don't remember who it was or if i'm remembering that right at all (?) / likely there are more directories and collections i'm just not aware of) additionally i like to read authors that are intentional about writing complex readers like @slimybeth69's girl dinner (heheh), and world building with diverse OCs like @auteurdelabre's SMTL, and by authors who are outspoken in the community about diversity and are intentional about their writing and moodboards like my girls @syd-djarin and @probablyreadinsmut (hi <3 and i know there's more of y'all too) AND make friends with other readers in the comments and share recs ! i won't put my non-writer mutuals on blast but they're full of the best recs or down to talk about fics for days <3
finally,
personally! iâd love to see more OC fics and character x character (crossover or canon) fics getting love too anecdotally, i used to only read longfics on ao3 about din or javi and felt like i saw fics with more canon/au plot beyond just the romance or smut that at the very least, felt further away from the colonial values/heteropatriarchy fantasy
finally (for real),
if the tropes youâre most drawn to are ones rooted in those colonial/patriarchal ideals, iâd guess youâre inevitably going to be swimming in fics written by white people for white peopleânot because theyâre trying to be exclusionary, but because those are the dominant societal narratives, and theyâre gonna be popular for that reason so it'll take more intentional critical reading and filtering to find what you want to read or share...i hope that makes sense
as always, i'm not perfect! i'm sure i've shared and written things that i'd reconsider now and there might be obvious suggestions i'm missing but anyway hope this helps!
sorry if anyone didn't want to be tagged
and if anyone else read all of this feel free to add your recs or self rec
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another hazbin hotel rewrite/redesign?
yup! and i'm so serious about it that i made a whole blog for it. i'm a white queer ex-cath tran doing this as an art and writing exercise, so feedback from other creatives + jewish and/or racialized folks is especially welcome.
i'm putting this post and only this post in the main tags for visibility. also, not gonna link my main, but i do make my own original stuff, and i encourage fans and haters alike to do the same.
anyway, here's a mostly good-faith 1.7k-word essay on the original. i think it's pretty funny and brings up some less talked-about points. correct me on the facts, disagree with my opinions, and ask clarifying questions, but don't come at me with any piss-poor reading comprehension.
the hellaverse is garbage, and here's why
cw: strong language, stronger opinions, intersectional feminist critical discourse analysis
1. vivienne medrano, the person
medrano was born as a well-off white-passing latina (salvadoran-american) in bougieass frederick, maryland. while attending new york's top art school, she got popular on deviantart-tumblr-twitter by being a prolific multifandom fujoshi furry who's more into ornamental character design than storytelling. upon graduation, she leveraged her fanbase and industry connections to make the hazbin and helluva boss pilots, get helluva made for youtube, and get hazbin made for amazon prime.
like every woman online, she gets harassed for no good reason, and as a certified autist, i will defend her right to be dumb, weird, annoying, and bad with words. however, there are legit reasons to criticize her:
racism, misogyny, homophobia, fatphobia, some antisemitism, past transphobia, past ableism
shitty boss, bad friend
cowardly, vindictive, manipulative, thoughtless behavior
skeevy friends
sucks at taking criticism
in short, i think she desperately needs a PR person and someone to clean up her digital footprint.
2. medrano's art
incurious
inauthentic
noncommittal
creatively stagnant
overindulgent, and the indulgence isn't even fun
shallow and childish framed as complex and mature
bland and boring framed as shocking and subversive
to be clear, i'm at peace with the existence of suckass art like this; i just think the money, attention, and praise it gets are unearned and should go to more interesting works, of which there are infinite.
medrano's had the time, money, and social cache to grow as an artist, learn from the best, and take creative risks, but she hasn't. if she truly has nothing more to offer, she should let her collaborators take the wheel, but she doesn't do that either. instead, she keeps getting more and more resources to make the same baby bullshit, and that pisses me off. she could be the nicest person ever, and this fundamental arrogance would still make her art blow.
stop with the pointless guilt: liking medrano's work does not make you stupid or evil. however, if you stay in the kiddie pool of culture, if you refuse to engage with a diversity of art, if the hellaverse is your point of reference for anything media-related, you can't expect to have your opinions on art, media, or culture taken seriously. you have not earned a seat at the table. you gotta hit the books first.
i cannot emphasize enough how much incredible stuff is out there if you're willing to look further than what social media and streaming services put right in front of you. if you come away from this blog having learned about just one new artist or piece of art, i'll be a happy camper.
3. the hellaverse
a. empty and confused
hazbin and helluva's content and marketing has no clear target audience. the subjects are inappropiate for teens, but the execution is too childish for adults, and lemme tell you what i don't mean by that, first.
not inherently inappropriate for teens:
sex and sexuality
violence, including when it intersects with the above
politics and religion
not inherently childish:
animation (any style)
comedy
episodic writing and/or loose continuity
young characters
fun, happiness, optimism, the power of friendship, cuteness, tenderness, sincerity, etc.
what i mean is that these shows are literally about adult characters who fuck, smoke, drink, do drugs, go clubbing, work full-time, manage their own finances, and deal with stuff like bureaucracy, sexual violence, domestic abuse, marriage, divorce, late adoption, and family estrangement.
however, none of these "adult" things are given enough specificity to create drama or comedy. it's all too stock, vague, flat, weirdly sanitized, and thus utterly banalâpure aesthetics on top of bad saturday morning cartoons. it's exactly what i'd expect from a sheltered disney kid who needs to log off and get into their local gay scene ASAP so their only contact with things like poverty, policing, addiction, and sex work stops being facile movies and TV.
if the shows were aware of this and played with it, that could be amazing, but they're not. they give you the mickey mouse version of the world with a straight face and then play looney tunes sound effects to try to make you laugh and sad_violin.mp3 to try to make you cry. now that's funny.
b. old and tired
let's make like americans and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. even within the confines of the USA, home of the hays code, the red scare, and reaganite propaganda, this neopuritan fascist state ruled by 1000 megachurches in a trenchcoat, the indie/underground animation scene has been doing crazier shit for decades. anti-war films in the 60's, bakshi movies in the 70's, the simpsons shorts and r-rated movies in the 80's, adult swim and MTV in the 90's, flash/newgrounds/youtube in the 00's, streaming in the 2010'sâso what are we doing in the 2020's with this wet white rice drowned in expired ketchup? i feel crazy making this point because it's obvious if you've watched these things, but if you haven't, you're gonna be like "well, there's gotta be something new here". no! there isn't! in the words of jimmy "the scot" jordan, nothing, nothing, NOTHING!
c. ideological purgatory
actually, there is one thing in these shows i've never seen before: the presbysterianism. shout out some interesting or at least intentional presbysterian art in the comments, because the way these ideas are presented here is not compelling. it just makes the rainbow neoliberalism even more confusing and contradictory.
i guess the big presbysterian things are protestanism, calvinism, and, uh, big church government? presbysterians, get your shit together. get your brand down. catholics have BDSM and vampires, evangelicals have TV and corporatism; what do you have? celtic crosses? no wonder medrano has such uninspired ideas on divinity.
d. queer deficiency
when i look at a piece of art, i ask myself: "what does this give me that i can't get from the hunchback of notre dame (1996)?" if the answer is as limp as "uhh, gay people, i guess", i can probably look for my gay shit elsewhere and rewatch the hunchback of notre dame (1996) in the meantime.
but let's say that you have no standards. you've been waiting for ages for a show about gays by the gays for the gays, and by god you're gonna get it. this is it! here we go! time for some
generic twink obliteration
male sexuality as aggression and dominance displays
WLW (sex and chemistry not included)
a couple straight femdoms
and the stalest sex jokes known to man
...yeah, it's not very queer. and by "queer", i mean "questioning or subverting gender norms (including sexual roles) within a given cultural context regardless of creator identity and intent". i'm not a queer studies scholar so LMK if there's a more specific term for this, but whatever you call it, it's not in the hellaverse much.
there's not even any transness, literal or metaphorical, just ancient drag jokes. i guess the writers thought we would've been too controversial. so much for an indie animation studio that prides itself in the diversity of its staff both above and below the line, bakshi-style. i wonder how medrano, a bisexual woman, would've felt if told that a lesbian main couple in hazbin would be "too controversial".
4. spindlehorse and the vivziepop brand
spindlehorse toons underpays its overworked staff and keeps outsourcing more and more labor to even more overworked freelancers overseas to cut costs. a rainbow sweatshop is still a sweatshop, and just because these practices may be "industry standard" doesn't make them any more ethical.
the studio has also been repeatedly accused by current and former employees and contractors of creating a hostile and abusive workplace. AFAIK, it still has no dedicated HR person, and victims are too afraid of retaliation like blacklisting and online harassment to speak out.
this is exactly the stuff that unions exist to prevent. as i'm writing this, the IATSE (the parent union of TAG, which is the parent union of all US animation unions) is negotiating with entertainment industry executives for better working conditions, and if the execs fuck around like last year, it's strike time again. so watch this space, voice your support, and don't cross any picket lines.
i hope spindlehorse unionizes, but until then and for these reasons, i don't think you should give money to the company.
first of all, all content on amazon-owned platforms is ok to pirate, and all youtube ads are ok to block. everyone involved in making the episodes has (or should have) been paid upfront, so you're not taking the bread out of anyone's mouth.
next, let's look at the succulent offerings of the official vivziepop merch shop:
$10 pins and keychains
$15 sticker packs
$20 mugs and acrylic cutouts
$25 shirts
$30 metal cards (not even tarot)
$40 lounge pants
$50 mini backpacks
random $80 skateboard deck
forgive my latin americanness, but this is all stuff you can get made by a local metalsmith, print/sublimation shop, or just crafty people in your life. it's cheaper, customizable, and better for the environment to skip all the shipping and packaging. also, not painting your own skateboard is poser shit.
the hazbin website also has $15 pins, one $20 keychain, and $6 trading card packs. people are weird about trading cards, so if for some reason you wanna gamble for a mass-produced bit of cardboard, plastic, and tinfoil, at least bulk-order for all the vivziepoppers in your area so it's less of a huge waste. better yet, trace the designs and make infinite bootlegs.
at the end of the day, buying merch is not activism. your bulk order of trading cards will not save any wage slaves from getting evicted from their overpriced studio apartments. however, the shop links you to all the credited artists/designers, and more of your bucks will actually reach them if you buy their designs directly, then turn them into body pillows or life-sized bronze statues or whatever the fuck.
go through the credits of any episode of helluva or hazbin, and you'll find even more creatives you might wanna support. get jinkx monsoon's albums on CD. subscribe to actually good artist, animator, and composer gooseworx. lots of voice actors now have patreon, cameo, or self-hosted pages where you can write better lines for their characters and have them read it. these things may not look as shiny as Official Merchâ˘, but we all need less plastic shit and more culture anyway.
#spindlehorse#vivziepop#hellaverse#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#spindlehorse critical#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel critical#helluva boss critical#hazbin hotel rewrite#hazbin hotel redesign#helluva boss redesign#communism#degrowth
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