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blushsturns · 3 days ago

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safe ♡ bf!chris x gf!reader

description: you’re going through a hard time, but chris always knows how to make you feel safe.

warnings: mentions of mental illness: anxiety, depression, emotional distress. kissing, pure fluff. that’s about it!

w/c: 1921

You haven’t had a good week at all. Everything was going wrong. Your anxiety was sky high and your depression was at an all time low. It hasn’t felt like this in a long time and you weren’t sure what to do about it. Living with anxiety on top of depression was a living hell and you were trying to live life to the fullest, but sometimes it was extremely hard. Your day at work was horrible. Things were extremely busy, customers were insanely rude, and all you wanted to do was hide in the bathroom and cry, but you couldn’t. You had responsibilities and you had to put your emotions on pause if you wanted to make a living, or well, money to afford to make a living.

Once you were finally clocked out from your grueling, never ending shift, you made it to your car and let the tears flow down your cheeks. You couldn’t help it, even if you wanted to. You’ve always been known to be a crier, whether it was for a good or bad reason, but crying sometimes helped you relieve any bit of stress of pain inside of you.

Your chest ached, the anxiety built up inside of you from the awful week that you had and all you wanted to do was go home and sleep. You wanted to see Chris so badly, but he was with Nick and Matt today doing something for a brand deal. He texted you as often as he could, checking up on you to make sure you were okay. You felt bad putting Chris through any worry or stress when you were feeling like this. He always reassured you that it was okay and that he loved you no matter what you were struggling with mentally. He had the patience of a saint and that made you love him even more if that were possible.

You texted him to let him know you were on your way home from work, but you stayed in your car for a couple more minutes to compose yourself before driving. You opened your sun visor to take a look at yourself through the tiny mirror, using the pad of your thumb to wipe the smeared eyeliner from the bottom of your eye. You looked like shit, but that’s okay because at least nobody was around to witness it.

With a deep, shaky breath you were able to compose yourself enough to drive home safely. Luckily, you didn’t live very far from your workplace and you could finally go in your bedroom and be with your own thoughts where no one needed you to do anything.

When you turned the car onto your street, you had to blink your eyes a couple times to make sure what you were seeing in front of you was correct. Chris’ car was in the parking lot of your apartment complex. How could that be? Your eyes narrowed in on his car once you got closer and noticed he wasn’t in the car. It was definitely his car, his silly pepsi keychain dangling from the rearview mirror. Once you parked your car into the parking lot, you pulled your phone out of your purse to see if he had texted you. He did and your face immediately brightened.

Chris: hurry home

You felt your stomach twinge with butterflies, excitement running throughout your body. This wasn’t the first time Chris had surprised you. He’s surprised you many times in the course of your 2 year relationship, but every single time felt special like it was the first. He’s never surprised you with his own presence before. You quickly grabbed your purse and walked into the house. Looking around, nothing looked out of the ordinary. It looked just the way you left it before you left to go to work in the morning.

“Hello?” You shouted out, feeling almost silly that you could possibly be talking to yourself and it just so happens that somebody else owns the same exact car and has the same exact key chain as Chris.

But that’s when he appeared with a big grin on his face, stepping closer to you and his arms immediately extending out with his pretty blue eyes brightening just from staring right at you. Your stomach was filled with butterflies, your mouth agape and jaw dropped in surprise as you stare directly at him. He’s here, he’s really here. “Hi, baby. Surprised to see me?” He asked you, a playful grin tugging on his lips.

All you could do was run into his arms, dropping your purse onto the ground and not caring what contents could have possibly fallen out of it. He immediately wrapped his arms back around you to hold you close to his chest, his hands resting against your lower back. You melt into him, your eyes squeezing shut with tears spilling down your cheeks. It felt like a sudden, instant relief to be in his arms again. You nodded your head at his words, your head resting comfortably against his shoulder, your fingers clinging against the fabric of his shirt as if you were threatening to keep him close to you forever and didn’t want him to leave. Not that he would ever want to.

“Missed you.” Was all you could manage to reply, salty tears hitting your lip as you start to coat the fabric of his shirt with your tears.

You don’t know why you were crying again all of a sudden. Maybe it was because of all the awful week you had and you were desperately craving this, craving him. Sometimes all it takes is a hug for the person you love the most and here he was, surprising you when you didn’t think you’d see him for another week.

He ran his hand up and down your back in smooth, slow circles to soothe you as you hiccup a sob that escaped the back of your throat, your head resting comfortably against his shoulder. He pulled away only slightly so he can look down at you, using one of his hands to place against your cheek, the pad of his thumb wiping away a stray tear that fell against your skin. “I missed you. I couldn’t wait to see my girl. Needed to see you and make sure you were okay.”

You sniffled, your cheeks blotchy and your nose stuffed up from crying as you locked eyes with him, melting into his embrace. You always felt so safe and protected when you were with Chris, no matter where you two were. Chris was very busy, always filming with his brothers, doing different brand deals, going on tour, planning merch and other future events, and even though you were so proud of him, sometimes you felt selfish because you missed him and wanted to spend more time with him. You were thankful to have any time with him though, of course.

You shook your head at his words, pulling your gaze away for a moment and bit down onto your bottom lip before averting your gaze back up into his eyes. His eyes were full of sorrow, worry, and overall protectiveness of you. “Not so good. It’s been such an awful week.” Your words were shaky, but you already felt better in his embrace and being able to talk about it. “How did you get home? I thought you had that brand deal to film.”

Chris let out a soft chuckle, keeping your head tilted just right against his hand, his other hand resting comfortably against your lower back. “They didn’t need me anymore. I did my part and asked if I could fly home early. Once I knew you were struggling, I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to see you, hold you, remind you how much I love you and that I’m here for you.”

He always knew what to say to make you feel safe and secure. You nodded your head, flashing him a small smile. “I’m so happy you’re here. I didn’t mean to worry you or anything. Sometimes my depression and anxiety gets the best of me and when things in life aren’t going right, I get so overwhelmed. I’m sorry, Chris.”

“No, no.” Chris immediately shakes his head, placing both of his hands onto your face, the pads of his thumbs caressing your cheeks softly. “You never have to apologize. I’m your boyfriend and I want to be here for you. I care about you and I love you. I know you aren’t having a good time. You’re so independent and you can totally handle things on your own, but it’s okay to not be okay and lean on me, okay?”

Your eyes stayed locked together in an intense gaze as you listened to his words, nodding your head slowly as he spoke. You’ve always been so independent and hated asking for help, but sometimes when you didn’t feel great mentally, it was nice to have a reminder that you weren’t alone. Chris was really good at being supportive. He always knew what to do and say to make you feel safe. “Thank you for not making me feel fragile like a piece of glass that could break in any given minute, or broken entirely already.”

He nodded his head, moving one of his hands to place a strand of your hair over your ear, smiling softly at you as he leaned his forehead against yours, his lips ghosting over yours. “I wouldn’t dream of it. You’re the strongest person I know.”

Your breath falls hot and heavy against his lips, your hands move to wrap around his neck to pull him impossibly closer. “Chris..” Was all you muttered out before his lips fell against yours instantly causing a soft hum to emit from your lips.

His lips immediately pressed against yours deeply as if he needed this, cradling your face in his hands as his lips begin to move against yours in a slow, passionate motion, tilting his head to the side to press his lips against yours a bit deeper. Kissing Chris was like the first time ever single time his lips were against yours. Your stomach twinged with butterflies, electricity shooting throughout your veins as your body melts into his.

After a couple more seconds, he pulls away from your lips and you catch your labored breathing. Your eyes flutter open to see him smiling down at you, your cheeks reddening just by his gaze. You could still feel his lips against yours, your body tingling from the sensations inside of you. Chris had that kind of effect on you, but you weren’t complaining. Not at all.

His grin only widened as he stared down at you, moving one of his hands to grab onto yours, intertwining your fingers together and squeezing your hand reassuringly. “Come on, princess. Let’s order pizza, watch some movies, and maybe if we’re still hungry we can eat ice cream too. Oh and cuddles and kisses. Lots and lots of them.”

Your cheeks only continued to grow a darker shade of red at his words, a soft giggle emitting from your lips. “You’re the best, did you know that?”

He placed your hands up to his lips, placing a soft and gentle kiss against your knuckle, his lips lingering there as he spoke. “I do, but I love to hear you say it.”

Cocky? Yes. The most protective, amazing, loving, wonderful, incredible, sweet, perfect boyfriend? Absolutely.

taglist:

@sturnshood @strangelife122 @jessie-essie @giveheavensomehell @rina3476 @chrissturnioloslvt @sturnslutz @sturns-mermaid @matthewsturnsgf @christmastreecake @rinahasspots @222wall876 @chris-hallelujah @izzylovesmatt @strniloslvts @oopsiedaisydeer @sophand4n4 @xclusivedesires @mattsplaything @katiebug3851 @poppingmypussy4chris @mattsbunnyxx @pair-of-pantaloons @chrissweetheart @slutformatt17 @sturnl0ve @pasteldreams @h3arts4harry @marrykisskilled @wh0remikasas @sturnzslut @camzeecorner @alesturniolos @emely9274 @2muchofaslvt @y3sterdaysproblem @sturnslux3 @bowsandsturniolos @moustacherryismyhusband @rafesapprentice @ivysturnss @headzgonewest @strawberryghost3 @il0vey0um0st @violetstxrniolo777 @bigbeefybitch @raesturns @courta13 @sofieeeeex @tylerthecreatorsglazr

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a/n:

hi! thank you so much for reading. i wrote all of this at work today and decided to just go ahead and post it. i have been struggling mentally the last couple weeks and writing is an outlet i use when i’m feeling sad.

if you are struggling and need help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust. my messages/inbox is always open if you want to talk. i know what it’s like to feel alone and hopeless, but i promise it’s going to get better.

you can also use this website that has tons of resources based on where you live and what you’re going through.

i love you guys. send any requests that you have to my inbox too. thank you for all the love. :)

-nessa ღ

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolos #sturniolo #sturniolotriplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo fic #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher strurniolo fic #christopher sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fic #sturniolo fanfic #blushsturnsღ

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mrs-kodzuken · 4 months ago

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half of a whole - hajime i.

synopsis: being abused, mentally and physically, caused you to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms (TW) and made you feel even worse when you knew your soulmate could feel every ounce of pain you felt too. running away to give yourself a better life right out of high school, you managed to run into the one person who somehow knows you like the back of his hand (soulmate!au, self-harm mentions [not explicit], age gap, older!iwa, mentions of homelessness, long fic)

You never gave a thought to how your soulmate would be feeling this, it honestly never crossed your mind. Living in a situation where you're always worried about the next temper tantrum that your parents might have lives in your mind constantly.

Having to share this pain with someone who was fated to you hurt indescribably. You never wanted abusive parents, more so, you never wanted to cope by self-harming either. You tried to shove the thought to the back of your mind and focus on the now.

Another empty beer bottle flew past your head, you felt the sharp air against your face before it crashed and broke into the wall. That definitely brought you back to the now. Your father was drunk, again. It also worsened when he was never sober for even an hour, leading to this rampage.

Between the fighting, the overly loud TVs that would keep you up, the lack of food in the pantries, and the physical and verbal abuse your so-called parents 'graced' you with, it was hard to survive.

You finally made it out of the house, having been trying to be as quiet as possible before your mother could start screaming and calling you all kinds of obscenities.

Blowing a sigh of relief, you were able to walk to work. You had a part-time job, which recently became a full-time job since you graduated, a job that you made it to every day, no matter what.

It was the key to getting out of this hell hole that you lived in too. You were so close in savings to buy a car and have racked up a good amount of experience in food and serving.

The cool wind blew past your face, enlightening a shiver out of you and goosebumps appeared on your arms. It was mid-October, and it was nearing to be very cold outside soon.

Not only did the cold weather make you freeze but it also made your thighs ache from your past unhealthy habits of coping with the parents you have. Being clean was hard, but getting out of here was even harder and you needed to be sane to do that, you thought.

Arriving at your safe haven every day for seven days a week was a blessing that you humbly enjoyed. The warmth caressed you and made you feel safe and even enticed a smile from your face.

"Now there's my favorite employee." Your manager calls over the counter. She slightly knew that things were bad at home but never mentioned it to you, knowing you always got uncomfortable with that kind of situation.

So, she made work feel like the home you never got to have.

"Hi, I'll be here till close again." You softly smiled, glad that she paid you well and enough to keep you saving good money.

"Of course, go ahead and wash up, kiddo. Don't forget bonuses go out today before your shift is over!" She said over her shoulder as you walked into the back to put your raggedy zip up jacket you've had since you were in junior high.

Your manager fed you, on rare occasions hugged you when she could tell a day had been particularly horrible for you. She was like the mother you never got, which made you sad that you wouldn't have any contact with her when you would finally run away. Not having a phone or paying a phone bill saved a lot of money for you, and being blessed with food from work was also a blessing you didn't forget.

As the night began, you found yourself enjoying your shift as per usual. Sometimes, you wondered if your soulmate knew. Like really knew what was going on with you.

They had to, indefinitely, because unhealthy coping mechanisms along with struggling to feed yourself most likely don't go unnoticed by someone who can feel all of your pain.

And for some reason, you rarely ever felt pain that wasn't yours nowadays. Maybe when you were in primary school almost nearing junior high, but your memory was hazy then.

You also often found thinking about what your soulmate was like, how would you meet them, would they even find it in themself to love you? God, you hated that thought.

Soon, it was time of night that always came. Your shift was over. The only thing that you were actually happy about was that you would be getting a bonus and that made you exceptionally happy because who knew how much that would be?

"Here you go kiddo. You're a great worker and I may or may not have put something else in there of my own. Be safe on your way home, okay?" You nodded and allowed her to give you a hug, giving her a smile in return.

On your walk home, you opened the white, crisp envelope with your work number and slowly counted up the bills that were all in there. It came up to roughly around the amount you had needed to finally buy a car and even some leftover. You reached for the little letter with teary eyes that your manager put in there.

It gave her reasoning for adding a couple more hundreds dollar bills for you. That's when the water works really hit. That night you didn't bother entering the house, you snuck in through your window and grabbed your already packed bag. You had packed it of all your essentials that you knew you'd need for when the day came.

That night, you were absolutely elated to finally leave that hell hole. It jumpstarted you finally being able to live your life too.

Two months later, you were working nonstop. You had found a great job that surprisingly paid even more than the one that got you almost all the way through high school. Of course, you were still living in your car until you could save enough to live in an apartment.

Tying your apron back, you grabbed the notepad that had come with it and went out to take orders from more customers. You loved your job; however, you didn't realize how much you never stopped. You always worked, the fear of not having enough, not being able to eat, and never having a stable place to live haunted you.

Believably, you were exhausted.

"Hi, my name is Y/n and I'll be your server for tonight. Is there anything I can start you all off with?" You faked a smile trying to bite back the exhaustion, glancing around the large table filled with even larger, built men. They had taken up the hugest dining table that the restaurant had to offer.

As you wrote down all of their drink orders, some consisting of water, alcohol, juice, and even soda one particular one made you linger.

"Smooth whiskey, please dear." A gruff voice spoke, effectively making your tired eyes meet his older olive-green ones. It wasn't new that all kinds of customers would call you pet-names, but this particular one stood out to you and the way it melted on your skin.

He looked absolutely divine. His hair was neatly gelled into a pristine style, the watch on his wrist looked like it cost a pretty good amount of money and underneath all those clothes, he looked very fit, exceptionally muscular and well built. You just couldn’t help but to ogle him.

When you happened to realize you were staring at him, you cleared your throat feeling your cheeks flush. You heard him let out a small chuckle as you wrote down his drink order.

“Would you guys like anything else to order?” You asked, not paying attention to the moment you just had with this man you don’t even know. Once you got your response from the group, you quickly turned around and headed back to the kitchen to prepare and gather the said drinks.

You just weren’t sure how or why this random man’s eyes and voice were making you feel the way you did. You’ve never even met him before. He seemed to have a certain aura about him that drew you in closer for some reason.

Soon enough, you were back out there to take everybody’s food orders, and after a bunch of disagreements within the group that you listened to because honestly, they were quite funny. You finally got an order from the mysterious man that your heartbeat fast for, for some reason.

He ordered miso soup, “Gotta gotta stay healthy.” He chuckled to his friends, who seemingly groaned, such a weird dynamic, you thought. You didn’t really understand what they were about.

You couldn’t help the tiredness from hitting your eyeballs and making them even more heavy as you were carrying out the plates, three at a time. Since there were nine people, including him, sitting at the large table, you figured it was the best way to handle the food.

As you were on your last round, your body slightly gave out to exhaustion, and the scolding hot bowl of miso soup spilled all over the lower half of your body.

Gasps were heard from the table and surrounding tables whenever you shrieked out in pain.

A hiss also came from the man who’s been watching you all night too, you could feel the first degree burn aching on your legs as you stood there dumbfounded by the pain and exhaustion from working so much.

That's when it all hit you.

The man jumped forward setting the empty, pristine white glass bowl onto the table with a clink then took your hands in his larger, warmer ones as he pulled you towards the nearest bathroom.

He quickly and effortlessly picked you up and set you on the cold bathroom counters, which was a stark contrast from the burning of your legs. That seemed to numb by now, just a stinging pain left behind.

Which still really hurts. He grabbed paper towels and wet them with cold water, trying to soothe your pain through your black jeans that you wore for your shift.

“How does it feel now?” He inquired, his voice full to the brim with a preoccupation for your body, which made no sense to you. He just met you after all.

“It’s fine, thank you. I didn't expect you to help me like this. I was just in pure shock that it even happened and now I'm really ashamed as a server.” You added, disregarding the pain that you were still in, but it was a nice gesture of his to help you, you thought.

“You’re welcome,” he grinned. “I guess this is a good time to tell you that I also felt that without actually feeling it.” He let out a dry chuckle, turning around to gather more paper towels.

That left you shocked and frozen in your place on the counter.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, you thought, finally putting all the pieces together now. About why his mere present did something to you however, you decided to play dumb and unknowing about the situation you could view through glass at this point.

“What do you mean?” You queried, your voice sounded pitchy and not like you at all. Quite frankly, you were a bit scared.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either.” He faltered, “Listen, I have a first-aid kit in my car. If you'd like me to go out and grab it. I just wanna check to make sure your skin is actually okay.” He paused, looking down in discontent at your legs.

“I feel like we’ve already pushed the boundaries of being weird once I felt that hot soup hit my legs through your own.” He gave you a half smile and put his hand on your shoulder to say that it’ll be okay and then left, leaving you with your racing thoughts and heart.

You were in a terrible predicament.

You didn’t know what to do. You, first embarrassed yourself as a server in front of the entire restaurant, then unintentionally met your soulmate who seemed to be a way a lot older than you as you were just graduated high school. Not to mention just left an abusive household.

And third, it’s going to be increasingly awkward talking to him about the past pains he’s experienced from you, nonetheless when he starts asking questions about you in general.

You had half of mind just to get up and ignore the pain and trudge on through your shift since you didn’t really have a place to go home besides your car.

You could hear the chatter in the restaurant now. It seems like everyone must’ve forgotten the incident that happened or at least you hoped they did. You also hope to the gods that you weren’t going to be fired for an incident like that. You knew how strict your boss was which was a huge difference from your first manager that you’ve ever had.

Before you could even gather a decision of what to do, the ladies room doors were opening again, and you hoped for a split second that it was just another woman. Instead, it was the man you had met, who had said he felt your pain, the man who was supposed to be your soulmate.

“Hey look, I know it’s gonna be really weird and a lot has already happened tonight, but I have some shorts you can change into. You can go into a stall, and I can turn around even, but I just really wanna check out your legs to make sure your skin is okay.” He offered the black basketball shorts to you before continuing.

“I’m a personal trainer and I went to college for this so please don’t think I have any ulterior motives," he affirmed, and that’s when you got a real good look at him.

He was definitely taller than you even though you were sitting on a bathroom counter, he had nice, impeccable work clothes on. Which made you think that he and his friends have possibly headed here from a workplace. Concern was riddled all over his features, inexplicably handsome features at that.

He was built as you could see the biceps flexing when he gestured to the stall for you to go into.

You got a redolence of his scent when you took the basketball shorts that he apparently kept in his car for what reason? You don’t know. You don’t even know this man, and that thought made it all the more strange to you, leaving you speechless as you did what he asked.

What else were you supposed to do? Tell him no?

You were only eighteen and followed the instructions of this older man who said he was your soulmate in which you’d have to verify before actually trusting him, but you trusted his profession and allowed him to help you once you got changed.

It was ultimately awkward, peeling off your wet jeans in a bathroom stall. The squelching of it made you cringe inside and you mumbled out a little ‘sorry’ to him.

The tension between you two was very thick and you could feel it. You could probably even cut it with a knife and eat it as cake.

Whenever you unlocked the stall, he turned around and let out yet another hiss at the sight of your legs. They were a reddish color now without your jeans covering them and looked like they just radiated off pain.

The hot soup marks came from mid thigh to about your knee and a bit lower on your calf. He seemed to go into a focused mode as he inspected your legs by putting different kinds of ointment on them to help.

That’s whenever you decide to strike up a conversation by slapping yourself in the face.

“Ow, what the hell was that for?” His gruff voice yelped and made your body shiver as you realized he wasn’t lying about being your soulmate, which made things even more awkward because now it was not an accident that you both met.

“Oh, I’m–I’m sorry. I just, uh, wanted to make sure that you were actually my soulmate not lying. I’ve never done this before.” You embarrassingly stated to the handsome man, you could feel your face heating up at the mistake you made. At least you knew he wasn’t lying now though.

That brought you some kind of comfort.

He let out a nice laugh that warmed your insides and not just the warmth from your legs.

“It’s okay.” He comforted you. “I can understand when someone as young as you can get a bit frightened and unsure when someone as old as me randomly tells you that you’re their soulmate.”

“Just to be clear,” he said, “I’m not that old, just twenty-seven.” He locked eyes with you and looked you up and down.

He continued, “Which probably seems like a creep’s age given the fact that they look like you’re even twenty.”

You let out a dry laugh before stating, “Yeah I actually am eighteen, freshly graduated from high school.” That made things all the more weird for some reason.

He let out an exasperated sigh, “I guess fate works in mysterious ways.” He said, and then his expression got more serious as did his rough hands on your legs, which stopped moving, and working the ointment into your skin.

“You know, I would understand if you needed space to process this new predicament because I’ve been waiting for you for years to settle down and now it seems like you necessarily haven’t really given a thought about your soulmate, especially on settling down.” The olive-eyed man stated, and you realized you don’t even know his name yet.

You mumble, “Thanks.”

Not mentioning his smile that he gave you, the crinkle around his eyes that made your heart flutter, even if you were just fresh out of high school and have no intent of settling down or whatever he meant by that in his words, you sure would do it to see him smile again.

You were too caught up and admiring him that you didn’t realize his hands went just a bit higher than your upper thigh and had found the pain you had caused him on some faithful nights a couple years ago.

Your eyes widened as you shoved his hands away and scooted yourself back further on the public bathroom counter until your back roughly hit the mirror.

“I’m–I’m sorry, dear.” He sputtered and it felt like he actually meant that apology too. “I just got a bit curious,” He murmured.

“I’ve been waiting for you so I could tell you that it would be okay in the end. I would be worried about you and hoped nothing horrible would happen in the end.”

His words somehow make you feel speechless for the second time in that same night and after that you didn’t speak again until you both left the bathroom, which encased you both in silence.

After your soulmate–referring to him as that felt so perplexing but gratifying at the same time–had left his share of money on the table while you went to tell your manager you were injured on the job and had to leave. With a raised eyebrow, and a glance at the new shorts you wore that showed your naked legs which encased your first-degree burn. Your boss finally allowed you to take your leave early.

However, more unfortunate secrets for you were disclosed when the intense, bitter air encompassed your lower legs, and the ringing of the bell was heard.

"Would you like to come to my place to talk over tea or yours?" Your arms were wrapped around your frame, forgetting your zip up in the car.

The older male probably thought he would meet your parents and then talk with them and you about the situation you both happened to get into. How wrong he was for thinking that.

You cleared your throat, not meeting him in the eyes. "I guess yours is fine," you dryly chuckled before continuing. "My place is right there." You motioned at your beauty of a car that aided in the escape of your abuse.

"Oh, and my name is Y/n L/n. Which you probably knew because of dinner and my name tag." You stated the obvious after realizing your mistake, but you knew it'd be an opening to hear his.

"Hajime Iwaizumi." He sounded curt after your previous admittance, because while you were averting your eyes to gaze at the stars you could almost barely see due to the lights, he was staring at you.

His dark olive-green eyes look in your whole for the umpteenth time that night. Nevertheless, you admitting you were basically homeless and living in your car didn't make him back away from you in any form. It quite actually did the opposite and Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to shield you from any other harm that might be in your future.

"My place then," You eventually looked over at him and couldn't shake the uncanny look he was giving you. It was something more than friendly, more than the looks you've seen after doing well for customers, more than niceness, something you haven't been given your entire life.

"Okay." You breathlessly confirmed, wanting nothing more to stop the chills that were jumping on your skin and the shaking of your body.

Following Iwaizumi in his expensive looking car was something out of a dream to look at. You realized on the way to his place that you really haven't got a clue about this older man you're following–except his name and that he's bound to you by fate.

The heat from your car was the only thing warming you up at the moment, like it has for many nights before this one too. It was different living in a car than a broken home, but you'd take it over it any day.

Pulling into the driveway, you gawked at his house. It was a very refined home that you had wished you lived in as a kid. Just the sight of it was something you could ever imagine living in.

Getting out of your car, you locked it and followed Iwaizumi across the concrete stepping stones that were placed before the door. He gave you a quick smile before unlocking the dark brown wooden door with a gold knocker.

You copied his actions of whatever he did when you walked in, self-conscious from not performing these when you lived in a house. You took off your shoes carefully and placed them beside his, then copied him when he set his keys down on a hook and you did the same with your tote bag.

He peripherally eyed you as your widened eyes were looking everywhere in his home. In pictures, the floor, the paint job, the lamps that were lit up before he left for dinner, the Christmas tree he put up and decorations scattered around the home.

He smiled at you and admired all the lights, then it faltered when he thought about how you may not have ever experienced something like this.

"Do you prefer a certain type of tea?" Iwaizumi asked, plugging in his electric kettle that he was gifted from his birthday months back.

"Uh, no." You really haven't drunk tea like this before. The sweet tea from working in a fast-food restaurant sure, but not individually bagged tea with different flavors and spices.

You meticulosity watched him arrange everything neatly for the two of you. It was kind of him to invite you here but that's when you felt all the more out of place.

"You can take a seat in the living room or on a bar stool if you'd like." His back was turned as he worked but you could hear the smile in his voice, the gruffness almost gone and replaced with something softer.

You drifted to the living room, in awe of everything that was in here. The soft velvet of the couch, the colorful lights of the green Christmas tree, and the snow globes on shelves of a bookcase were your favorite things.

The couch had plenty of throw pillows that matched the rooms' theme and even a couple throw blankets which undeniably smelled like Iwaizumi.

The thought of coming back to a house like this, to a home like this, made your eyes water and your throat get tight. You tried swallowing it down before Iwaizumi would eventually walk in here, but you were too late.

"I made you a Hōjicha tea, I figured you might like it because it's not really bitter and I got-" He stopped speaking when he sat down next to you and noticed the slight shake of your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?" His large hands took in your smaller ones as he didn't know what else he could do to comfort you within your boundaries.

You took a moment to collect yourself and wiped away the few stray tears, "I just... This is a really nice home. You're-you're just very nice to me."

Hajime's heart literally broke into two, definitely sure you could probably feel that too. It was pain after all, it didn't just have to be physical.

"I'm sorry you had to go through whatever happened to you. I really am. You don't ever have to go through that again nor live in your car anymore if you don't mind living here with me." He comforted, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over your hands and that's when you completely broke down.

You cried into his arms; it was warm and comforting which made things all the more saddening for you. You never got this, never experienced warmth like this, it hurt. After giving yourself a few minutes to calm down, you finally told him about your past up to now.

By the time you were done, he had been so angry for you. You, in his eyes, were a legal adult now but now you carry the trauma that your parents weren't supposed to give to you. You carry the hurt from younger you and the pain that you never shouldn't have dealt with.

Hajime then vowed to never let a single thing cause you pain like this ever again.

He stayed like that with you in his arms, thankful that his soulmate was finally safe and sound with him. He would worry about everything else later but to carefully be heedful about you and your well-being for now.

"You should call out of work for a few. I want your burn to heal and for you to get accustomed to living here and having a new, healthy normal. You can decline anytime but as someone who is bound to you by fate, I feel like this is what is best for now." Iwaizumi let go of you while you thought about what you would do.

You were technically homeless unless you accepted his offer, taking some days off work would hurt but if you lived here, it would be okay. You really haven't taken care of yourself, not having an actual shower in almost two months and resorting to sink baths was getting tiring. Not to mention sleeping in the car every night.

That effectively already decided what you were going to do, "I'll take some days off work. Are you sure you want me to live here? I don't want to intrude." You trailed, knowing he was fine with it but at the same time you had learned that your mere presence can be irritating.

"Of course, I'm sure. Don't even worry about it. You're my soulmate, remember?" He chuckled as he already planned a few things in his head to help you from your trauma if you wanted it. Therapy, coping skills, taking time off work, taking you to a doctor and specially making sure you realize you won't go without.

Your face flushed; this was all so new to you that it was hard to navigate through the fight or flight your mind and body wanted to revert to.

"Here's your tea, it should be cooled down by now." He handed you a glass mug that warms your hands–they've always been so cold, more so when you 'lived' on your own.

"Thank you, this is all so kind of you. I really appreciate it. I also really like your Christmas tree, it's so pretty."

He chuckled as you stared at it, "Thank you, I can put a miniature one in your room before the big day comes." Iwaizumi hoped that the closer you both would become, that it would help you ease into a healthier version of yourself.

He didn't expect you both to be dating immediately because, well, he would rather you talk to him about anything romantic first on your own terms. His mother raised him to be a good man.

"My room? Actually? This all feels so surreal." And bizarre that you were able to get out of a hellhole that you felt like you were going to be trapped in forever. Fate was such a weird thing.

After moving in, not that you barely had much to move in with, a new normal was settled for you and Hajime–he told you not to call him by his last name no matter how much you did. He got his guest bedroom ready, which you were thankful for. You wouldn’t know what to do if you were going to share a bedroom with him when you weren’t even ready.

Celebrating Christmas was something you also never experienced. Waking up to a good breakfast and presents to open under the Christmas tree and watching the famous movies Hajime always talks about was so new. You loved every bit of it.

Being able to take a warm, bubble filled bath, eat a nice healthy meal, and even be introduced to Iwazumi’s friends at his workplace was so outlandish for you and the situation you had once been in.

It got awkward sometimes between you and Hajime because after all, you can’t help the inexplicit attraction you feel when it comes to him. And of course, he feels the same but won’t act on it till you’re ready.

“What was the highest point of your day, dear?” Hajime’s usual name that he called you with such sincerity never failed to send your heart beating wildly in your ribcage.

You set your fork down, “Probably when I saw your friends again. I was able to talk to Miya’s wife again. She’s very sweet.” You noted, smiling. Your new normal consisted of on your days off from working you’d go with Iwaizumi to work on the days his coworkers would bring their soulmates. You were very fond of Atsumu’s wife.

The highest and lowest point of your day started as a coping mechanism from your therapist which you both do every day now for the fun of it instead of using it to get you to open up about your past.

You were the happiest you’ve been in forever and even though you went through literal hell, you definitely wouldn’t change a thing now. Especially with the kind and patient man sitting across from you at the dinner table. The way he looked at you with love and how you reciprocated by your actions instead of words of touches.

Fate did work in mysterious ways.

a/n: this shit is so ass im so sorry, i hope you guys enjoyed and even though no one requested, i hope it helps anyone who needs comfort from older iwa <3

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kindaasrikal · 1 month ago

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The ninja only ever wear their gi unless necessary. Such as a super fancy event (dancing with your husband in a dance lesson), its their work uniform, or for undercover work.

So thats why I like to think they just don’t prefer modern clothing anymore, which then led me to think how they would react to wearing more ‘impractical’ clothing.

Kai wearing heels is something we all think he would be good at, but thats only after MONTHS of practice, and only because it was to better his balance. The second he has them on he’s trying to rip them off because feet are not supposed to bend like that. Bros stumbling, bumbling, and tumbling for weeks trying to figure how the work. And they ain’t normal heels either. They’re those tall thin ones, so maybe possibly he broke his ankle ten times. The problem was how he tried to act like he had it everything under control. As if he doesn’t need help picking up something heavy on the ground, or like he doesn’t need the walking stick Nya lovingly bought him. He did like showing them off though.

In some cultures, dresses can be incredibly heavy with the amount of fabric, jewels, diamonds whatever on them. When Nya has to go undercover at a wedding to protect the guy getting married, she had no idea a dress could weigh so much. That, plus the heels and jewellery, made it sooo much worse. She tripped multiple times, didn’t even attempt trying to use the stairs, and just sat in a chair in a corner near the guy she’s supposed to be protecting trying to resist the urge to itch her back.

Cole isn’t a small guy, but he isn’t super big in some areas either, so buying clothes in general that aren’t his gi is an impossible task unless he’s allowed to go tits out. Give him pants? It’s over the second he bends down. A small shirt? Just go shirtless at this point. A big shirt? Where are his arms. He even has massive feet, so its makes shoe shopping horrible for him because toes shouldn’t squish like what.

Zane…doesn’t like shirts. He’s fine with his gi tops because they’re easy to put on and off, they’re breathable, and they’re stylish. Give him any modern stay shirt that isn’t for some sort of uniform and he’s ripping it off and hissing in a fridge. However, Zane also dislikes purses. Any other bags are fine, but purses are just so annoying to him because either they’re too small or too big and in the way. The small straps also keeps getting into the little gaps on his body and its annoying.

Jay hates long socks and gloves. Long socks are such a pain to handle, he once had to stop a mission five times in the winter to pull them back up because God it doesn’t feel nice having them bunched up like that. He also hates gloves because electricity comes out of his damn hands, it causes this irritating sensation on his hands that gets worse until it almost hurts, so he takes them off and flings them at Lloyd’s face because he likes having free hands thank you.

Lloyd had a completely opposite problem to the ninja at first. He wouldn’t wear anything put his hoodies when he first became a ninja until he had to when he aged up. Ain’t no way did they have the money to buy Lloyd new clothes in the middle of a crisis. Then, later on, he would be very comfortable wearing any clothes as long as it’s considered some sort of uniform. Outside of that though, he hates anything with buttons on them. They’re so annoying to button up and then try unbutton and he has delicate hands okay, he doesn’t wanna mess them up more than they already are. He also has a hate love relationship with zippers because they’re fun to use but he may or may not haven’t accidentally broken the zip every time.

Is this me writing all this because i wore tall heels for the first time today? Yes it is.

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bunbun-mochi · 2 months ago

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Gardian de Lumiere I

Xavier x MC

Warning: Fluff, mentions of abuse

Word Count: 1952, no proofreading

Preview: MC snuck out of her home from her father who pays no attention to her. She ran into a gentleman who he called himself Lumiere. She felt she had fallen for him...

Gardian de Lumiere is Bodyguard Xavier x MC where MC is the daughter of the duke from the East. MC took Lumiere as her bodyguard, completely unaware of his identity.

Disclaimer: Gardian de Lumiere means Light Guardian in french. I just use google translation. If I got this wrong, please do let me know.

It had been my nightly routine. I snuck out to have my alone time, away from the stuffy mansion. I go to random places at night and today I chose the pub.

"Have you heard?"

"Oh, yea, the crowned prince will have his coronation soon. I wonder what he looks like."

I quietly sip my drink as I listen to the gossip. Recently, it had been the crowned prince. Several hundreds of years ago, a horrible incident happened to the royal family where someone assassinated the crowned prince as soon as he was born. The royal family struggled for years, trying to put another crowned prince for the future throne. Ever since then, the royal family never publicized the birth of the crown prince, the name and face of the crown prince until the prince could fend for himself.

"Are you here by yourself?" A gentle voice asked.

I looked up to see a young man with soft blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked so handsome I nearly was captivated by his beauty. "Yes... I mean no. I'm here with my uh, brother." I lied. I inwardly winced on how bad my first impression is. Considering how handsome the young man is, I wore very plain clothing, just so I could blend in. The young man, however, dress a bit nicer than me.

He chuckled, "Alright. Would you and your brother mind if I sit next to you?"

I shook my head, "Go ahead."

He nodded a thanks and sat at the bar stool. "Something light for me please." He said to the bartender. Then he faced me, "What's your name?"

"I uh..." I racked my brain for a fake name. "Tara." I quickly used my maid's name. Forgive me, Tara!

He softly chuckled, "It's nice to meet you, uh Tara. I'm Lumiere."

I nodded, "It's also nice to meet you, Lumiere."

Then we sat there in silence as I didn't want to talk too much, afraid I might give my identity away.

"Where do you live?" Lumiere asked. "I live near the capital."

I nodded. Of course he does. He have that accent where people from the capital are from. "I'm toward the west." I lied again.

"The west? That's very far from here!"

"Yes, I travel for a living."

"That sounds fun. I would love to travel with you."

"Sorry, I travel alone." I quickly said.

Lumiere cocks his head slightly, "You don't travel with your brother?"

I paused, realizing the mistake I made. I cleared my throat, "I mean I travel alone with my brother."

Lumiere smiled, "I see."

I nodded and we both sat there in silence again. I checked my pocket watch and realized I should get going. The gate will close soon and climbing the gate is a pain.

I got up, put the money on the counter, and looked at Lumiere, "Sorry, I had to go."

"Would I be able to meet you again?"

I shook my head, "Sorry, I have to travel toward the north." I lied. Again.

Lumiere nodded, "It was nice meeting you while it lasts."

I nodded, "Good night." I didn't even wait for his response when I fast walked toward the door.

I lay on my bed and sighed in relief. I managed to get back into the mansion before the gate closed.

I wasn't suppose to be out this late. But I always snuck out. No one really cared anyway. My father hated me. He wished his first born to be a son, but obviously, he didn't get what he wanted. And when he did get a son, he spoiled that boy rotten and that boy is barely able to walk.

I wouldn't even be surprised if he had forgotten about me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really his daughter. The way he treated me is no better than the maids. Knocked things off my hand, slapping me across the face, shoving me around.

Then my mind floated to the young man I saw at the pub. He was so enchanting. His face looked so soft and gentle. I wished I'm able to see him again. However, knowing the power that my father holds, I fear my father would do something to Lumiere.

Should I run away? Should I try to find Lumiere and ask him to take me to the capital? Away from here?

As I ponder those thought, I slowly drift into sleep.

I flipped through the page of the book. It's late afternoon. I have quite a boring routine. As soon I wake up, I do my side of the work as the temporary head of my family until my half brother reached the age to be able to take over. Then I would go to my studies. Then after that, I have all the time to myself. Which is a couple of hours before dinner. Then right dinner, I prep everything for tomorrow. Sneak out the house, come back, go to bed, wake up, then start the same routine.

I typically spent my free time before dinner to read. I had already read all the books in the mansion, so this library is the go to for reading.

"Good afternoon to you," My head whipped toward the familiar voice. My eyes widen to see Lumiere standing over me.

He looked at me up and down, "You dressed very well to be traveling."

I inwardly cursed myself for not changing something far less extravagant. Last night, I dress too shabby. Today I dress too extravagant. I opened my mouth, trying to say an excuse or another lie, but came up empty so I closed my mouth and turned my head away.

He softly chuckled, "Would you mind if I sat next to you to read?"

I wanted to say no, but I ended up nodding.

"Thanks," He smiled and sat down. Then he looked at my dress. I cursed myself more for wearing a dress that clearly showed which region I was from. "Are you from here?"

I sighed, "You already seen through all my lies. Why ask?"

Lumiere shrugged, "Probably I wanted some truth from you."

I stare into his sky blue eyes, it twinkled slightly. It is so...

"Tara?" He waved his hand in front of my face, interrupting my though.

I cleared my throat, "My name isn't Tara. It's MC."

Lumiere looked at me like as if he knew, but he still chuckled and pretend he didn't know. "Should we reintroduce ourselves, MC?" He extend his hand toward me. "I'm Lumiere, it's nice to meet you, MC."

I smiled and shook his hand. His hand is so soft but firm. "It's nice to meet you, Lumiere."

When I let go of his hand, I crave for his touch again. Trying to distract myself from him, I went back to reading. However, I couldn't read a single word in as my minds are completely distracted by Lumiere's presence. At the corner of my eyes, I catch him staring at me time to time.

One moment it was late afternoon, the next moment, the sky turned dark. I quickly jumped up, "Sorry! I have to go!" I panicked. If my father found out that I arrive late for dinner, he'll start throwing a tantrum.

I quickly shoved the book back to the bookshelf and bolt toward the entrance. Lumiere followed close behind, "Wait, wait! Let me escort you!"

I turned around to tell him it wasn't necessary, but I end up tripping on my dress and I started to topple over.

"MC!" I heard him yell. I closed my eyes, embracing myself from impact when I felt a strong arm around my waist. I opened my eyes to find Lumiere holding my waist, just enough for me not to fall on my face.

"I uh, thanks?" Feeling the heat on my face. I wanted to dig a hole and climb in and die. I was too embarrassed to face him.

"You're welcome." Lumiere gently put me onto my feet. "I was going to ask if I can escort you. It had gotten very late."

I nodded, "Thanks."

"My pleasure." Lumiere smiled gently.

We were in my house's back garden, which is practically a small wood. I then realized that I shouldn't have him escort me. He'll find my identity really quick if he does. I turned and faced him, "Um, I can by myself from here."

Lumiere blinked, "Here? In the middle of a wood?"

I quickly nodded, "Yes. No problem!"

Lumiere looked at me, concerned. "I don't think this is a good idea. We are in the middle of nowhere. What if you get lost?"

I quickly shook my head, "don't worry! I know my way back."

Lumiere shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I don't think its right for me to leave you here."

I felt slightly frustrated. Then I heard shouts from the distance. I can clearly recognize it belonged to the guard's captain.

Bastard father! You sent out guards to find me?

I started to panick. How would father react that I'm in the middle of the wood with a stranger? A man no less! I looked around, panicked stricken.

"MC?" Lumiere looked at me with both confusion and concern. "Is everything alright?"

I shook my head then nodded my head. "Um... um..."

"She's here!" Both Lumiere and I whipped our head toward the sound. "We found her!"

Oh no...

A group of guards appear. As soon as they saw Lumiere, they all unsheathed their weapons.

Oh, no!

I quickly grabbed Lumiere and shoved him behind me. "He's with me! He's with me!" I quickly yelled.

The captain walked toward me, "Who is he?"

"My bodyguard." I quickly answered.

"I didn't know your father assigned you a bodyguard."

"I assigned myself one."

The captain narrowed his eyes. I gulped, fearing that he won't buy my lies. Then the captain nodded, "I understand. You're late for dinner. The duke is not happy."

I nodded, "I know. I'll go there right now." I tugged Lumiere along the way back home with the guards behind us.

Lumiere leaned in and whispered, "I didn't know you're the duke's daughter."

"Now you do. I'm sorry I dragged you into this." I whispered back.

Lumiere quietly chuckled, "I wouldn't mind to be your bodyguard."

I rolled my eyes, and whispered, "Trust me, you'll regret it as soon as you know what my father is capable of."

Lumiere eyes twinkled, "Oh? Sounds like a nice challenge."

I tugged Lumiere to the common room for a guard. "Stay here until I come back. Don't do anything funny."

Lumiere nodded, "Yes, my lady."

I closed the door and walked toward the dining hall. I took a deep breath as the servants opened the door. I walked toward the dining table.

"Where have you been." My father said. It wasn't a question, but a statement. As if saying the answer better be a good one.

I curtseyed, "My apologies, father. I was reading and lost track of time."

"I don't care. Get over here and eat. I have something to talk to you about." He said coldly.

I nodded and walked toward the dining table. The air is so suffocating, I felt indigestion.

"I need you to go to the north. I need you to talk to the duke at the north." He glared at me. "I want him to work with me. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

He suddenly grabbed my chin and I gasped. "Do you understand how important this is?"

I nodded. "Y-yes."

"You do in every power to make sure he agrees to work with me. I don't care what you do."

I nodded again. "Y-y-yes, father."

He finally let go of my face. "Good. I need his army."

My hands froze. Army. Is father declaring war?

With amusement in his eyes, he looked at me, "Do you know why?"

I shook my head.

He scoffed, "The royal family had been on the throne long enough. It's time for them to step down." He stood up from the chair. "This country needs a new change. A new leader."

"Who?"

He looked at me, "Me."

I felt sick. I wanted to throw up right there and now.

"The royal family had been like flies. Buzzing around my territory. Like as if it's their own." Then he paused. "I said too much. You leave tomorrow."

I nodded. "Can I choose who I bring?"

My father walks toward the entrance, clearly uninterested in my question, "Do whatever you want. I don't care. I expect good news."

The dining hall had become too suffocating to eat. I felt sick.

I wanted to kill him.

I wanted him dead.

Dividers, headers, banners, and templates used on this post are from @uzmacchiato

#love and deepspace #lads xavier #xavier love and deepspace #xavier x mc #shen xinghui #xavier fic

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balkanradfem · 4 months ago

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Okay so I know I just hit you all with the controversial chestnut poll, but I have some new development in life that I want to complain about, and in order for me to complain about it, I need to give you the context.

I don't particularly want to give you the context. You're going to diagnose me with female socialization, and some of you will feel the urge to click the anonymous ask button and tell me off. Today I need you to fight that urge! I am feeling insecure, I am feeling lost, I'm not certain in my choices, I've acted without thinking, and got myself into a situation I can't control. So please don't be mean to me. I deserve to complain on the internet and not be called out, alright?

So this is the story of how I accidentally became a live-in caretaker for an injured, elderly woman. It's temporary! She'll get better, hopefully.

I worked for her occasionally, and she's always been kind to me. She would give me a little jar of jam sometimes, and I love little jars of jam, it's a way to win my heart. A few days ago, she called me in a panic, telling me she fell, and she needs my help. I came over, and found out she broke her arm in two places, and one of her rib is broken. She fell unconscious, after being dizzy all day, and fell on a big metal lantern, breaking it. She was now in so much pain she couldn't get up by herself, dress herself, or do any kind of household tasks. She went to the ER, got her arm wrapped up, and was trying to get a pain injection. I helped her get trough the day, and promised to come early next morning, to help her up from the bed.

Next day I found her in tears in her bed, unable to get up, desperate to go to the bathroom. It became clear she needed 24/7 assistance, and she asked me if I would move in until she got better. I said yes without thinking, because I was at this point, severely concerned, and wanted to do anything to help her out.

So this is all not so bad, right, I'm being normal, it's normal to offer help to an injured elderly woman who is nice, but there's a catch. She doesn't live alone. She lives with her older husband. Who is also disabled and can't help her at all. So in order to help her out.. I had to move into a place where a male lives. That is the worst part of this.

I'm still in the first few days of living like this, and my own life had to fall to the background. I can't go foraging for chestnuts every day, I can't go to my garden as much, I'm still going to work, just from her place. I'm overwhelmed and struggling to get used to the new situation. I'm not used to being around people at all, and now I'm forced to socialize almost all day. Caring for someone comes fairly natural! I'm already so in sync with her, she can just look in the certain direction and I know what she wants me to do. I've figured out where everything is in her kitchen, closet, and basement. She's pleased that I know how to do basic household tasks, and am willing to do it in her way. And she's nice, she's telling me things like 'thank you' and 'what would I do without you', which feels good. But I am very exhausted and sleep deprived, she wakes me up at 1am, and then 5am again, and I'm unable to fall back asleep in a room I lack familiarity with. I miss my room.

She and her husband said they were going to pay me, and in my natural ways, I said something like 'no you don't need to' which I feel like everyone will get mad at me for, but they did insist they would pay me anyway. I as usual lack the sense to care about money – someone's arm is broken, that's way more serious issue to me!

Alright so now to the part of the post I wanted to write, a fun poll where you guess, what has her awful husband done by this point :) go ahead and guess!

You have one day to guess! Which one of these scenarios happened in the first few days of his wife breaking three bones in her body. I'll tell you the correct option tomorrow!

#caring for and injured person #accidentally became live in nurse #i feel unqualified #and psychologically a bit shattered because my daily life changed so severely #i miss my lifeee #but this is not forever #it's going to be okay #i hope

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cereusblue · 1 year ago

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https://gofund.me/96bce824

Hi, all. So, I've had a day from hell and I'm too exhausted to re-explain on another platform. But here, I'll copy paste the story here. TLDR at the bottom. If you can't help, pass it on. Literally everything helps. Love you all.

Good day all, thank you for stopping your busy day to check my page.

Let me lay out the situation as best I can.

First off, some background for myself and my family. My fiancee and I only have(had) one functioning car between us when we took in a family member of his in an emergency CPS case. We are trying our hardest to take care of her and teach her how to be a person, but our schedules and only having one vehicle has made that a struggle. She has gotten a job just last week and is working hard to get on her feet. It's great and we are very proud of her! It's part time for the time being while she learns how to manage finances and how the world works.

However, since October things have started taking a turn for the worse. Between my fiancee and I, we both worked minimum wage and in October I bent over to put on a shoe and my back made a horrible crack noise. I went to the ER in immense pain and despite having insurance, I still got dumped with a hefty bill that to this day I am still trying to pay off. I have gone through physical therapy as requested by my doctor, since he didn't want to operate on someone of my age. However, it did nothing but agitate the problem. While I can now move around again, bending over and lifting anything past 15 pounds is strenuous. I'm in pain every single day and even sitting up is difficult most days. I can't stand up for long anymore before it becomes too much on my back. But things continue to happen, as they do. I was set to come back to see my surgeon this year but on Dec 29th in the last hour of the day, my job decided that an AI system could completely take over my job and laid me off. Getting unemployment as well as answers back from my previous work has been very difficult. My benefits were cut off with no chance to refill medications or see my surgeon. So, now my continued treatment to fix my back on top of my other health issues have all been put on pause. I've been working for almost two years now to get treatment and figure out what's wrong with my health, but I am now on a desperate search for a new job.

Which leads us to today. We are already strapped for money, and on a trip to an interview and my fiancee going to work, we got taken down a gravel road that looked deceptively fine. Driving across, the ice was far deeper than it appeared and it destroyed the grill, bumper, and wheel well (I believe that's what it's called) aka part of the frame that covers the front wheels broke and are hanging. That's not where it ends. So, I took the car to get it temporarily fixed so we could hopefully figure something out to get repairs done. The car got a temporary fix, and then I proceeded to take the car to pick up my fiancee from work. He and I began our drive back home, and as we were passing train tracks a doe jumped out into the road way too close to us. She only came into view as she appeared in the lights of the car, immediately getting bodied by the car. As you can see from the image, she destroyed the hood of the car and much more. I feel horrible for the poor thing and I hope she went quickly, noticing the fur and blood on the front bumper. We managed to get the car home, but the check engine light came on. This car is a Toyota prius. Anyone who knows anything about a prius knows they are basically tin cans. So, the worry is that the cooling system is busted now too. This will exponentially increase the amount we need to pay to repair the vehicle.

The worst part is, is that this is the only car we have to go to work and for me to go to interviews. I do have a car, but it's not in running condition right now. The poor thing is a 1999 and needs some parts replaced that we have not had the funds or availability to get a list of parts and have them replaced. The car also can't move anyway right now and would need towed. The prius is our only vehicle we have, and I don't have the funds to drop on fixing it. Insurance won't pay for it as far as we have been made aware by the body shop because of the type of insurance we have.

So, this is the current estimate we have to work with in regards to repairs. The entire front, hood, coolant system, and I know a few more pieces need replaced. The prius can run and be moved to a body shop at least, but paying for it will be a nightmare. If he can't get to work, we are in major trouble. My fiancee, his little sister, and I all rely on this car for work. While I'm still looking for work, I'm very limited because of my current physical state. We've spent a lot of money on my Healthcare already and every day are worried I'm going to reach for something and have my back crack again. While we are working on Medicaid, these things are proving a slow process. They also don't cover previous medical bills when I did have insurance. So, our only choice is to live off his income currently while I'm on a search for a new job every day. Our lives depend on this one car. Especially since we live out in the woods and work is 40 minutes away.

If you've read this far, I appreciate every single second of your time. Every single hand this gofundme goes through will be a huge help. If you can't help, that's okay, please don't stress your own financials if youre in a tough spot. If you can pass this along to anyone you can, that would be more than enough. Thank you again, and I wish you all better fortune this 2024.

For those who can't read the whole thing;

TLDR; Me and my family are already going through a lot of financial troubles with my health and being laid off, our only mode of transportation is severely damaged from an unmaintained roads massive pothole and hitting a deer in the same day. Three people rely on this one vehicle for all our jobs and interviews that are far from home. Donate if you can, if not, please share and thank you so very much.

Also including another picture here for you all to see. Thank you all again, I wish you better fortune this year.

#gofundme #emergency #fundraiser #pls help #idk what else to tag rn im so exhausted

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fanficsforheartandsoul · 2 years ago

Text

Not Like This | Valeria Garza x Fem!Reader

Note: A literal brain fart that I unexpectedly wrote in the afternoon after listening to girl in red today. Angst is seriously the only thing I can produce and feel good about somehow, like what the hell. I should bring this up in therapy next time. I didn't do much research for the fic so lots of stuff is just pulled out of my ass. Get ready for some typical cliché "dying-in-one's-arms" story. Feat. some random google translated Spanish sentences.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Character Death, Angst, Unrequited Love, Just Pain, Blood, Ghost made an oopsie

Summary: You wanted to touch and kiss her but not like this...

Word Count: 2,6k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

"You don't have to do this!"

You practically beg but she just looks at you with that gaze, the one which says that she won't change her mind, no matter what.

She had held the same gaze when she informed you about her decision to take over the cartel and abandon your brothers and sisters in arms.

She is already in too deep at this point. You both know.

You had known for years since the moment when she took Pascale's hand and danced with him in that god-forsaken club.

He enticed her with an idea and she created El Sin Nombre. And it's all your fault. When you dumped that barrel with the son of La Araña in the river, you thought you had done the right thing and you turned your back on Alejandro and the others.

You watch her, her face is full of determination; it's almost like she's looking through you instead of at you, too captivated by her thoughts.

"It's for us. That deal will make sure our families and the ones after us won't ever grow up and live like we did."

"It wasn't that bad! And compared to how many people will suffer because of that man-"

"Not that bad? Y/N, we drank rainwater while my dead mother rotted in the bedroom! I had to stop Feliz from eating her! Your legs are like this because we didn't have access to proper medical care even in the military! We both suffered so much... But like this... With the authority I have now, these days are nothing but a bad dream! We have established schools and hospitals, and with this money, we'll help even more people!"

Your heart stings when she mentions your disability and the hand grasping your cane burns. She's right. You had suffered. But that was in the past. And compared to the suffering that this terrorist and his organization would bring upon the world...

You couldn't even look the people on the streets of Las Almas in the eyes anymore, how could you bear the weight of responsibility for the horrible crimes of that man?

Maybe you shouldn't have taken her hand when you were discharged from the military due to your increasing leg pain and weeks later she had shown up in front of your doorstep to take you into the hands of the cartel.

"He and those missiles will kill people, dozens of them! Innocent families, brothers, and sisters, little girls like Emilia... Valeria, please- Don't do this. The people hunting him will hunt you too. The Los Vaqueros, Alejandro-"

"We already made the deal. There are no takebacks, Y/N." There's no escape.

You stare at her. The ache in your chest that has been buried deep for years now, grows stronger.

You almost don't recognize her.

She's not the girl who took your first kiss at the age of 7. She's not the best friend you had since childhood. Not the teenager who made out with you when she was drunk at 17 and then didn't remember. Not the one who motivated you to follow your dream of joining the high school basketball team. Not the one who mesmerized you with her naturally glowing character who drew you in like a moth to a flame.

And yet...

You still love her.

And what could you do? You're already in too deep.

Years ago you decided to follow her until your feet couldn't carry you anymore.

You're a fool for her and if she decides to walk straight into hell, even then you will follow her.

You smile bitterly. She takes a step forward and grabs your right hand, her eyes staring straight into yours. Your heart flutters as always. The bitterness in your heart grows.

"You're my best friend Y/N, mi hermana. You know I'm doing this for us. Para tiempos más brillantes."

She doesn't see the tears threatening to fall from your eyes when she embraces you and you quietly sob into her arms. She holds you close and yet you've never felt farther away from her.

"para tiempos más brillantes" you whisper in her shoulder and for you these words are like a prayer, begging God or whoever to forgive you for your foolish heart and your foolish love.

A few days later you arrive in a black SUV for the cartel meeting.

The atmosphere in the house is already strange when you enter with Valeria. Diego greets you with a kiss on the back of your hand like always and once again you discreetly wipe your hand on your dress.

You hate participating in those meetings but to the cartel you're like a symbol, a symbol for the wealth and power that one can gain with the help of the cartel. So it's expected that you attend. And she likes it when you're with her.

You feel like a doll in that expensive dress Valeria gifted you. It's a light blue backless dress and compliments your shape.

She gave you this one with her typical words about wanting to make you feel good about yourself but you neither feel pretty nor good; the slit on the side shows off the scars on your leg and with your cane you give the image of a circus actor instead of a rich woman.

"You can rest upstairs", Valeria tells you and pats your shoulder and one of Diego's underlings wearing a black mask steps forward to accompany you.

"I'll see you in a bit."

"Yeah", you mumble and follow the guy. He tries to be discreet but you notice him looking at your feet right away and you huff inwardly. Yeah, she couldn't gift me expensive high heels unfortunately.

You're wearing flats because anything with heels hurt not only your feet but your legs as well.

On the highest floor you pour yourself a drink and sit on one of the chairs at the long round table.

You stare at the ice cubes in your class and watch as they slowly melt. Time ticks by and Valeria is nowhere to be seen.

It's pathetic how you wait for her like a puppy. But it's always been like this. She goes somewhere, you follow. When she's away, you wait for her, the only company your anxiety and worries.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

The atmosphere has been weird before but when the guard tells you in a breathless voice that he will be right back, you know something is definitely off.

You're not on the comms and you don't have a weapon, you never bring one to these events because it "ruins your outfits".

But you don't have to worry much because right when you think about grabbing a kitchen knife just in case, Valeria and her lackeys storm through the door.

She's armed - unlike when you two entered the house. You immediately know something went wrong.

"Y/N", she says, her tone cold and you stand up quickly, "go on the terrace for a bit."

You blink perplexed. "What? Why?"

She gives you a look as she grabs the phone one of her men holds up for her.

"Solo hazlo!"

You continue to stare for a few seconds, but she turns away, not looking at you.

"Yes, El Sin Nombre" you sigh eventually. A guard offers you a gun and you take it silently.

You walk to the back of the room and leave through the door, the gazes of Valeria's guards burn on your naked back.

You sit on one of the loungers, letting your cane and gun rest by your side and you stare at the darkening sky. You know who she's calling in there and the guilt plagues your mind.

How did you two end up like this? This isn't the future you imagined for yourself.

Yes, you wanted to be by her side but not like this.

The 16-year old Y/N L/N didn't see herself as the closest confidant of a drug cartel boss. Your younger self didn't see herself involved with corruption and the distribution of narcotics. You didn't see yourself lying next to her, back to back, in a bed with a pistol under the pillow.

In your ideal future you would lay in her arms in a cozy bed in a house with room for you two and your family, her sister Emilia, your grandparents, maybe even a dog like Feliz. Just you, the love of your life and your family.

No guns, no drugs, just a happy life, satisfied with what you have.

But you know better. That dream will never come true. Valeria loves you, always has, but not like you love her. You'll never be more than her best friend.

And even if she saw you in a different light, your dream can never come true. The things you both have done in your past will haunt you.

You know it's only a matter of time until the USA will hunt you and the other drug cartels down. They'll purge everything they can get a sniff of. And then El Sin Nombre will pay the price. But you'll be right beside her.

"At least we can be together in prison", you say to no one in particular, a bitter smile on your lips.

You stroke the frayed strap of the bracelet Valeria had gifted you all those years ago in high school. Memories come up but they're interrupted by a low hum. Confused you turn your head, searching the sky when a loud bang and sudden gunshots ring out in the house.

In the blink of an eye you're on your feet, gun in hand with the safety off, your cane disregarded.

You hurry to the door right when it gets slammed open and Valeria runs into you. Shocked you lower your hands, mierda you almost shot her!

"Y/N!", she shouts, grabbing you by your arm. "We have to move!"

She pulls you with her but the low hum has turned into growling and the roar of spinning rotors accompanies the black helicopter who suddenly hovers over the house. You're trapped.

"Down! Get down, now!", someone in the helicopter shouts and god, you're so stupid but she's in danger and without a second thought you shoot at the man standing at the open in the helicopter, while trying to cover her with your body.

"Y/N!"

A lot happens in mere seconds. The man at the helicopter door ducks inside, the other soldiers scream and point their guns at you and you shoot once more when someone shoves you and the force sends you to your knees.

"Cease Fire, Immediately!!"

Shouts echo around you, two more men run on the terrace, rifle and gun pointing at you but you don't care.

You turn and stare at her and she looks you in the eyes. The brown is basically black in the dusk. The corners of her lips twitch as if she wants to smile. You notice the rapidly growing spot on her grey shirt, underneath her necklace on the left side.

You scream and she hugs you, forcing her whole body weight on you. You crumble completely to the ground, holding her close, one hand still clutching the gun.

"Target is hit- I repeat target is hit! Ghost what the fu-"

"Don't shoot! I know that woman!"

Y/N she whispers. She's not moving her lips but you know she called you. You stare into her eyes as she gasps for air.

"Ria, I got you- It's okay- I got you, I-"

You drop the gun and press onto the wound from the back. Your hands turn slippery from her blood.

One of the men walks up to you and kicks your gun away from your reach and as he hovered over you, you pull her closer, shielding her with your upper body.

No, no. This can't be happening!

Your heart beat resounds loudly in your ears, it drowns out the helicopter noise and the shouting soldiers. You feel naseous from the surging helplessness you feel. Until you hear a certain voice. It's familiar.

"Y/N, hey! It's me, Alejandro. Let me have a look at her, please."

Alejandro?

You lift your head, still holding eye contact with her. Her eyes are wide, shocked probably at the sudden development. You gulp but bile still rises in your throat.

Hands grab you, but they're not forceful and you straighten your upper body to give Alejandro the chance to look at her in your arms. You look at him, begging him to do something, to help- save her.

"...dro", she wheezes and he smiles but his raised eyebrows give his worry away.

"Valeria."

He reaches for her back where you hold her and when his hand finds yours, his face darkens. He stands up and turns towards the helicopter and waves at the blonde man inside, his red hand glistening.

"We need a medic now!"

The sentence flings you into the past.

"Necesito evacuación médica para Y/N!! Gómez, hijo de puta, call it in now!!"

Gunshots whizz past you two but Valeria doesn't care.

She puts more pressure on your legs and you just watch how her expression stirs from worry to determination.

You adore that face so much. Her sharp eyebrows, the straight bridge of her nose, her long eyelashes, the lines when she smiles. She's your own personal Aphrodite.

"...s beautiful..."

She looks at you scowling. "Shut up, Y/N! Don't go all woozy on me now! We'll get you out of here and you'll be just fine, okay?!"

You smile. Of course. You'll be just fine. After all, she's by your side.

"..can't do anything for her..."

You blink. The words pull you out of your distant memory. She's holding onto you, you realize belatedly. Her fingers dig into your skin but her grip is weak, too weak.

The two soldiers who got in front of you and checked her body retreat. You open your move to say something but she touches your face to get your attention.

"Y/N..."

She pulls you down, while moving her lips as if she wants to whisper something to you. Your chest painfully constricts.

Instead your lips meet. Someone says something but you don't hear them, too shocked by the sudden kiss.

It's more like a peck and it tastes like the alcohol you drank before but your chest almost explodes.

"D-Don't do that, Ria", you croak. The nickname is like poison on your lips.

She smiles. And kisses you again. Longer this time. You taste salt.

"Not like this- I don't want it like this! I haven't even- me cago en la puta, Valeria Martina Garza, you-"

You cover her hands with yours, smearing her blood on them as you grip her fingers tight, holding on like she's your lifeline. Your foreheads touch. The pain in your chest is tearing you apart. You feel like dying.

"Para tiem...pos más brillantes...", she whispers breathlessly and you sob, showering her face with kisses while cradling her in your arms. She huffs as if she's protesting.

"Don't fucking say that! Yo no puedo vivir sin ti!! I love you, Ria, I-"

The smile is still on her lips when her body goes limp in your arms. Your chest constricts as you breathe in shakily.

Tears fall and you rock her in your arms, holding the only one who ever mattered in your life in your arms and you scream, the pain in your chest never stopping.

How can I wish for better times when you're not with me?!

"Y/N L/N, what do you know about El Sin Nombre?"

"Ella era mi alma gemela. I'll tell you everything."

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harrys-yellow-snow · 2 years ago

Text

perfect - an h.s one shot °•. ✿ .•°

PART ONE

word count: 2.5k

themes/triggers/tropes: fluff, angst, lime (do people even say that anymore), arguing, fake dating, relationship...fixing?

It’s been months. Months since that last call, and even longer since that last text. She couldn’t stop thinking of the way she ran her hands through his soft hair. Or the way his fingers traced her jawline when he rested his head in her lap. She hated to admit it, but she missed it.

Nova looked out her window, admiring the view of New York City from ten stories above ground. The Empire State Building could be seen in the distance. Manhattan was beautiful from the air, but looking down made her nauseous sometimes.

Most of the time, she kept glancing down at her phone, waiting for a notification. Not just from him, but from anyone. Her friends, her family, or even people she hadn’t spoken to in years that somehow still had her phone number. Yet, it stayed silent. No sign of life had come from her friends. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in a couple days. Some days, she liked it that way. But other days, like today, she missed them dearly.

She slid off the windowsill and made her way into her kitchen. Nova’s apartment had two rooms, so it was just across the way. Her bed and the bathroom connected from the living room and dining area. She didn’t spend as much time there as she should. The white marble cabinets glistened in the natural sunlight coming from the window. She opened the one above her and took down a box of cereal and a bowl. She liked her cereal dry. She knew she shouldn’t, but it didn’t matter. She sat down at the dining table and began to eat.

It was hard to swallow. Yes, she enjoys dry cereal, but her throat was tight. So were her eyes and her fingers. Nova hadn’t even realized how hard she was gripping the table. She knew she should be over him. It had been months. But she couldn’t stop staring at the empty chair across from her, imagining the perfect way his eyes lit up and the creases that formed near his cheeks when he smiled. She loved his dimples, getting deeper every time she tickled him. As all those memories came flooding back, she slammed her bowl every time she took a spoonful of cereal, She carefully reviewed each and every word she wanted to say to him as he was leaving, as well as the curses she screamed when the door shut for good. All that was left was the smell of his cologne on her sheets. It was impossible for her to sleep in them without thinking of the pain it brought her. All the mistakes she made that night, all of the horrible things she said without realizing. She wanted him back. That’s really all she needed to say.

Nova finished her breakfast and cleaned her dishes. The clouds slowly drifted away from the sun, revealing a beautiful blue sky and a perfect horizon. She looked down from her window to see groups of people cluttered together, walking down the sidewalks. She remembered the countless bags in her hands and the long credit card bills she received. It seemed to be a coping mechanism to get him off of her mind, but it didn’t work all the time. It brought back memories of all the money he spent on the clothes she didn’t deserve. They were deep in her closet, never to be worn again.

Speaking of clothing, she slipped on a light orange t-shirt and a pair of white pants. Her black and white sneakers were a bit tight around the toe, but comfortable overall. She locked up her apartment and made her way down to the street.

When Nova made her way out of her apartment building, she was instantly hit in the face with blaring heat. She felt a bead of sweat drip down her forehead as she started walking. This level of heat always gave her headaches if she wasn’t prepared. The light of the sun reflected off of the cars parked on the side of the road. Puddles were still on the curbs from the rainstorm a couple of nights before. Patches of grass poked out from the cracks in the sidewalk near the drains. All of these disfigurements made her realize not everything was perfect.

Nova headed down at least ten blocks before she got to Times Square. She made her way through the bustling crowds to get a clear view of the New Year’s Ball. However, a pit in her stomach grew as she remembered their New Year’s kiss. On the balcony of his apartment, the ball drop could be seen half a mile away. The spotlights were flashing, but so were cameras below them. The flashes reproduced, which caught their attention. He shrugged, gave the paparazzi the finger, and they headed back inside. They wouldn’t leave him alone.

For the longest time, she thought he would never leave her alone, but that wasn’t the case. She shook her head, telling herself to snap out of it. She had to get over him sooner or later.

The aura was beautiful. She craned her head to look at all the vibrant billboards giving off appealing flares of color. Pictures moved in unison, all across the Square. Then, she saw it. Him.

Harry Styles Love On Tour: New York City. September 21-23. Nova froze in her tracks, letting everyone walk around her. She didn’t care about the dirty looks she received, or the people brushing her shoulders to squeeze through. As quickly as the billboard came, it went. She hadn’t seen him in so long. She refused to look at pictures, watch interviews, read articles, or do anything that had to do with him.

Nova put her head down and kept walking, keeping an eye on her shoes. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw beat-down sneakers, luxurious Gucci boots, and blue flip-flops, but she glanced at her again. She bought these with her own money, not his.

As much as she didn’t want to think about the billboard, she couldn’t stop. His hair was slicked back with the perfect amount of gel. His casual mustache was gone, but his green eyes were sparkling. She thought of all the times he endearingly looked at her from across the room, waiting for a hug or a simple kiss on the forehead. When he wrapped his arms around her, pure bliss and red flush filled her cheeks. His chest was warm like a cushion. She would crane her neck up and rest her chin on his chest, getting a close look at his facial features. Some days, he decided not to shave, leaving small patches of extra hair on his jawline for her to trace her finger over. He moved his head around, squirming underneath her when his face was tickled. He’d pull her in for a kiss and she’d come closer to her. And that was only the beginning.

She had to keep going. Ahead of her was a long street connecting to Times Square, but only a few cars were parked next to the curb. She already needed time away from the bustling crowds, which usually didn’t happen.

No one recognized her. When the first dating rumors came out, her face could barely be seen, even though they were all after her. From the ground, the angle was strange. He was dressed in all black with his hands wrapped around her face, pulling her as close as possible. She was in a gray hoodie as small flakes of snow started piling in her hair. He pulled her hood up and smiled into the kiss, but then they spotted the cameras. After that, she didn’t remember much of what happened. Stories were released, which tore them apart. He was afraid they’d be after her, but they weren’t. She didn’t see many negative responses to the situation, but she knew there definitely were some. That’s what Harry didn’t want her to get caught up on. Then, they started falling apart, not just because of the rumors. They claimed they didn’t love each other as much as before. It broke her. Not just her heart, which she always thought was corny, but her physical health seemed to deteriorate. Sleep deprivation stabbed her like a knife, leaving her in terrible pain. That led to mental misconfigurations, cognition issues, and an overall pissy mood.

After a couple weeks, Nova could barely function. She refused to go out, claiming she was too tired. The city was too bright for her. Too many people to get in her way. Maybe someone would recognize her, pull her to the side, ask her about her ex-boyfriend, possibly even threaten her for “breaking his heart,” when in actuality, he broke hers. She still wasn’t sure what she did, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

She came to the end of the street, both mentally and literally. Her thoughts came to a stop and so did the rough pavement. It went back to being a smooth, cement road, like they decided that this street wouldn’t be paved. In this state, her thoughts of the breakup weren’t paved. They were bumpy and hard to make out. She didn’t have a clear idea of what happened, what caused it, or what she did wrong. What was so wrong with dating him? Other than the fact that they were constantly being followed, she didn’t see anything wrong. New Years was the only night they were ever seen together, then the news somehow suddenly broke out that they had split up.

Mentally, Nova slapped herself, telling her to stop thinking about it. It had been hours since she left the apartment and no other thoughts came to mind except her own mistakes. That stupid billboard didn’t help.

Her stomach grumbled, telling her it was ready to be fed again. Right down the road, there was a bagel shop. New York City famous bagels were something she craved for months at a time, even if she had them every day. As she neared the shop, she took a deep breath, taking in the crisp, burnt smell of the iconic bakery. She stepped inside and was taken aback by the beauty of her favorite shop. It wasn’t as crowded as it usually was on a Tuesday afternoon. She was just in time for brunch, possibly early lunch. She waved to the familiar man at the counter, who shot her a smile.

“Hey, Nova! What can I get for you? You want your regular?” This was the ideal time for his thick Brooklyn accent to shine.

“Yes, please,” Nova said. As her friend went in the back to place the order with the bakers, she looked around the shop, imagining the food was about to be receive. An everything bagel with ham, cheese, and pickles. She had a strange taste in food (no pun intended), but she didn’t mind. It was mostly unique combinations of healthy foods, but there were a lot of popular foods she didn’t like. She hadn’t eaten meat in a while because she went pescatarian a couple months ago…

Nova sat down at the table closest to the window and looked out at the street. People on both sides passed by quickly. She loved people watching. In airports, on subways or the bus, or at small shops like these. Her eyes scanned across the window, watching some people enter the bagel shop, watching some leave, or just watching some walk by. Her friend tapped her shoulder, making her direct her attention towards him and the basket of food he put down in front of her. She thanked him and began to eat.

This was a flavor she hadn’t had in a while. Smoked ham on a mildly spicy bagel, with a hint of sweetness from the cheese. It was perfect.

Another ring from the opening door filled the shop. Most people turned their heads like little kids in class whenever an unexpected visitor arrived. Nova was one of those children, poking her head up from her basket after saving a droplet of cheese from getting on her shirt. His hair was short and dark. He wore a blue and gray flannel and light blue jeans. His feet were protected by black and white Adidas sneakers. When he turned around after placing his order, she saw his face.

Niall.

She hadn’t seen him in so long. Did no one recognize him? They made eye contact and his blue eyes lit up. A smile spread across his face as he made his way over to her table.

“Nova?” She stood up and they joined together in a quick embrace. He sat down and leaned his arms up against the table. “It’s great to see you again. I almost didn’t recognize you!”

“I know,” she grinned, focusing on her food to make sure she’s eating slower and neater than before he walked in.

“How have you been?” He reached across and grabbed a lone piece of ham that fell from her sandwich and popped it into his mouth. She looked up at him and smiled, or at least tried to after hearing the question.

“I’ve been alright, thanks for asking,” her smile quickly faded and she took another bite of her sandwich. It was an irritated bite, knowing he’d ask more. He sighed and strung his fingers together.

“You’re not still thinking about him, are you?” he asked with a slight whisper. Nova swiftly looked up from her food again, getting a bit of a head rush. Her eyelids drooped, trying to regain her balance in her seat. She didn’t know how to respond. She knew he’d be upset if she told him, but if she lied, he’d know. With a slow shake of her head, she lied.

“No.”

Niall sighed again, “don’t lie to me, Nova. This is serious.”

She refused to answer.

“Nova,” he started, rubbing his temple with his calloused fingertips, “you still think about him, right?”

“Yeah, I do. A lot, actually,” she finished the last of her bagel and pushed the basket aside. She looked out the window again. She knew Niall wasn’t there to bother her, but it certainly was working. He was one of her best friends, but hadn’t spoken to him since breaking up with him.

“Why?” he simply asked. A mixed look of confusion spread across Nova’s face. Why? She didn’t know why. If she did, she’d probably tell him.

“I don’t know why. I just… do. I don’t know.”

“It’s been months–”

“I know it has. I don’t think I’m getting over him any time soon. I just,” she stopped her sentence abruptly to scratch her forehead and sigh, “I keep thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him. I can’t sleep because my bed is empty every night. I should be over him, I know, but I physically cannot.”

“Maybe you should get out of here, then. Live somewhere else for a while,” Niall suggested.

“Where? I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“I’m having a party next week. Maybe you can come and stay at my place in L.A. for a bit,” his Irish accent was more prominent near the end of that sentence. Sometimes, his accent is hard to figure out, either what he’s saying or what accent it is.

“Seriously? You’d let me live with you?”

“Of course. You seem pressured to live here,” he said.

“I appreciate that,” Nova replied.

“Call me when you’re ready to go.”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #one direction #louis tomlinson #liam payne #zayn malik #niall horan #fiction #fanfic #fan fiction #one shots #fluff #angst #lime #writers on tumblr

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catonator · 1 year ago

Text

Funny heading to a blogpost on videogames that’s some sort of reference

Look, I already used the ctrl+alt+delete quote in a blogpost title. It’s February 2024, and it’s already a very wild year for gaming. We’ve had more layoffs than with the entirety of 2023, games shown off at events seem to be stagnating, interest in the art is waning. Youtube is filled with “modern gaming sucks” doomer blackpill videos. It’s a miserable time.

Is gaming just over?

Well, no. Of course not. The Sonic franchise has lingered for decades despite consistent failure. Games are more resilient than that.

Humanity’s relation to computing is still pretty fresh, and I’d say that despite the size and scale of a lot of it, we’re still going through major growing pains. Concepts like video games, the internet and special effects are still pretty new, despite being around for twice or thrice as long as most of the people reading this have been alive. Internal combustion engine -powered cars were invented in 1808, made mass produced in the 1910s, and even then it took until the 1950s for them to be common enough for the US government to bother designing cities around them. In the present day, many have come to resent the car-centric design mentality, even though the driving (no pun intended) factor behind them was mainly the same as with technology today: scientific and technological progression is unquestionably good, and therefore new and successful ideas should be pushed and relied upon as hard as possible. What could possibly go wrong?!

Video games are far from the only medium which is seeing similar problems. Movies have suffered greatly from a capeshit infestation, in which the abuse of VFX artists is valued over, you know, basics of good filmmaking, and the general public is clearly sick of it. On the internet, we’ve decided that megastructures like Twitter are better than forms of communication we’re good at, and it’s gone horribly wrong. We’re still learning the “do”s, “don’t”s and “who the fuck thought this was a good idea”s of tech.

Games as an artform are as alive as they ever were, but the sheer scale of the operations has grown to a point where nobody can really understand it. The numbers behind playerbases and the money traffic have so many zeroes that you can’t even fathom the number. Even if I used some metaphorical figure, like 20 000 cars. Shockingly, despite how console sales haven’t really increased in numbers (the top selling console of all time is still the PS2), most of the top-grossing games of all time are relatively recent. This implies that the behaviour of consumers has shifted from purchasing a variety of different kinds of games into purchasing fewer games of fewer different kinds. And I don’t think it’s a case of customers deciding to shift over naturally.

In the past decade or so, the gaming industry has decided sensible experiences are a way of the past, and the future is making games for debt and making back the money with horse armour and other garbage the general public doesn’t really want.

But we’ve seen this shit before. In the 90s, 3D was “the future”, and 2D pixel art or hand-drawn art in general seemed to go the way of the dodo for polygons and ““realism””. About a decade later, 2D art would see a resurgence and in some cases overtake the big lads in lasting impact. In the end, people crave personal stories, varying ideas, and interesting ways to tell them. Not much has changed since ancient Greeks, besides that the medium of storytelling has largely shifted from some guy standing on a stage, trying to explain another world, to electronic devices actually showing us the other worlds.

I think as we play out the Icarus stories in real time, we’ll also learn when boundaries are pushed too far, and the scale of the bullshit simply collapses in on itself. When that happens, the public is forced to step back and reevaluate the ways we thought were the future, and what really is better for all of us.

When a storm flattens a forest of dead, decrepit trees, the sun and rain can now reach the ground and cultivate a new generation of different plant life. Once hidden beneath the dead corpses, now able to grow and bloom in a way the old generation never could. You should just keep doing what you think is right. Now’s the time more than ever to be the backbone of a better industry, for many applications of tech, from games to communication. And it’s better, if the backbone comes from the grassroots, and isn’t defined by the megacorporations. Because those cunts will never learn from their failures.

#monthly blog #“montly” blog #video games #gamedev

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definitelynotshouting · 1 year ago

Note

Hello again! Im so sorry to hear you feeling well when i sent in my ask the other day :( hoping that the life series drop tmrw will provide a much needed distraction for whatever you need it to :)

-☀️

"I know the, um, this morning didn't go… very well… but… if I could—""

"Good, he thinks, but it's a rote sentiment, not half so vicious as it had been only hours earlier."

- oh??? 👀 i am looking

- Im assuming this is the meeting they had about taking grian back to hermitcraft (and the revelation that grian feeds on emotions to survive)?? Very curious

- Now that metaphor about the childhood coat being stained is a lot more painful

-☀️

"even stolen energy can't make up for that."

"everything he'd never had the first time he— well, when Grian, the real Grian— had died."

- "stolen energy" omg i am biting ankles over this.

- And the "real Grian" thing. Yeah

- This is one of those moments where grian's whole situation is so much more potent and vivid. Imagining living as myself, but knowing im occupying someone elses body, and having my very lifeforce sustained by others?? Its not hard to understand why grian internalises and hates himself for being "a parasite". Idk thats probably very obvious to everyone else but this is the first time ive really thought about all of what that entails

-☀️

"Starving hands reach out from the depths of his mind to pull him back, stumbling, under that dark waterline."

- Love how the word "starving" implies that G falling asleep is more of a survival mechanism forcing him under so that his body can feed rather than only exhaustion

-☀️

"he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged,"

- shaking you

-☀️

"His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments."

- AHHHHJSLDHSJSVSN

- Man 🧍

- Dont have any words. Just tears.

AAAAAAAAAA SUN ANON I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX!!!! Gods im so glad these lines resonated with and interested you, they were a ton of fun to write

I have a brain today so i can actually expand on some of the things youve pointed out instead of just aiming heart eyes at you for the compliments fjsndjsjejke so for the first point, yes!!! Scar and Xisuma returned to the others post chap 6 and were like "Well that sucked!! Wow!!!!" I wouldnt say theyve given all the information to everybody, because they themselves aren't exactly ready to discuss that beyond the immediately required basics, but everyone else was given the gist: convo went badly, Grian is being taken back to Hermitcraft on Scar and Xisuma's insistence. Both Scar and Xisuma feel fucking horrible for how that conversation went down-- nobody had a good time there. So while the plan is to eventually get everyone up to speed, they're sorta taking this time to be miserable about what was essentially a fight that ended in stripping Grian of his autonomy

There's also a little cross-communication happening here in the background, btw: Scar and Xisuma have a pretty big picture now, but Tango, Mumbo, and Pearl have been fed that false info abt the potions being potentially useful. So, yknow :) just smth to keep in mind there haha

Your point about how it almost feels like Grian falling asleep is a survival mechanism is spot on the money. It's essentially him falling into a state of low power mode, where everything but his most basic of functions is shut down for a brief time in favour of preserving energy-- i would honestly consider it more equivalent to a coma than actual sleep. Hence Tango's concern, and subsequent relief when Grian woke up; the entire time he was unconscious, he was fully unresponsive. So, yknow. Real nerve-wracking to see, especially after that prior full week of unresponsiveness as his body struggled to maintain itself.

Tango's role here is indeed deliberate, both on a watsonian and doylist level!! The reason however is the exact same for both: Tango is a little more removed, personally, from this situation. Grian was-- and is-- his friend, ofc, but he's not as close to whats happening. Meanwhile, Xisuma is in 24/7 server babysitting mode, Pearl is not fit to be a caretaker, and Scar and Mumbo were tearing themselves apart by trying to sit and look after him. So Tango got assigned caretaker duties 😂😂😂😂 it was an effective way to divvy up tasks and keep everybody busy, and somewhat hilariously, so far Tango is the only person Grian isnt supremely upset with for one reason or another. And thats why he's continued to stay in caretaker mode lol he is truly just. The only guy who can rn

I also just sorta think of him as a surprisingly emotionally savvy fixer-type, in terms of personality. Like. I think he just gets what people set down in front of him, yknow? Although hell if he knows what to do with it once he's got em. He fumbles a lot, sure, and he defaults to fix-it mode, but he is getting the message when Grian essentially says "i dont wanna talk anymore" without actually saying it

As for Grian and his headspace, rn, theres definitely a complexity at work here where he wants to die and is very genuine in that, but he IS also grateful he's seeing his friends. He cant deny that. As painful as it is, he still loves them very much, and ultimately he's trying to do this for their own good as much as for his own sense of punishment and relief. I think like... now that he's really creeping up on what he has planned, and the pieces are suddenly becoming a reality, theres a bit of dissonance he's fighting against to stay on course. He wants his friends happy; he also wants to die. He's so overwhelmingly tired; he is, as much as he feels he doesnt deserve it, glad to have his friends close. That sort of hopelessness mixed with a warped sense of comfort that he got to see and interact with them one last time. If that makes any sense. Its a bit of complexity i wanted to make sure i added in, because people are so rarely fully decided on any course of action they choose to take, without even a single flicker of doubt (and especially one so final as this). Im glad youve picked up on that, and that you appreciate what i was trying to set down with it!!! :D

This was such a lovely message, as always-- you are very sweet, sun anon, and i appreciate you lots :] i hope you're having an excellent day!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #dw i am feeling much better!!! was just a wonky few days :]#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#anyway i hope these lil expansions are fun for you to read 👀👀👀#long post #txt

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stxrmylxve · 2 years ago

Text

they won't see us, darling.

NOTES: semi-public sex, cussing, riding, uh.. an office setting, fem!reader

@kelin-is-writing this is for you bb

You walked into the office at 6:28am, a record saying you normally came in later than that. Today was going to be a better-than-usual-day for you. The plan was to get your hair done, something you had been slacking on for the past few months.

You floated to your office, waving to everyone with a bright smile as you passed.

"Good morning, y/n." shigaraki says as you passed, offering the slightest smile as you opened your office door.

"Morning! Have any idea where dabi is?" you ask, kicking open the door with a sigh as it creaks open.

"I think in the lounge right now talking with someone.." shigaraki responds, swirling the liquid in his cup with a frown.

"Oh, what about, any idea?" you say, setting your things down as he invites himself in.

"Nope. Said it was important though so I left him to it." he says with a smile as he adjusts his wrist brace with a pained look.

"When do you get that thing off?" you say, hoping to continue the conversation as he looked up with furrowed eyebrows.

"Doc said it was worse than he thought, you know, with the whole fight and all." he says, wiggling his hand around awkwardly.

"So... a while." you say with a laugh as he gives a sour smile.

"Guess so. Hey, there is a file for you to pick up in the office, a new form came in from your rivals." shigaraki says on his way out, tapping the doorframe as dabi swapped his place with a grin.

"morning darl'." he says as a lets out a groan as his shoulder pops.

"morning. You already had business and it's not even 7 yet?" you ask, clicking your computer on as dabi shuts the door.

"Yeah. those retards wanted to pick a bone with our company so I had to deal with 'em." he says, glancing around the all too familiar office as if he was searching for something new.

your eyes went wide as you read the email you had received, cursing yourself as you excused yourself and ran out of the office, rushing to the office as a man stood there tapping his foot impatiently.

"Morning, y/n." the man says, turning towards you. His purple hair was still as shaggy as normal, his eyebags still horrible as he adjusted his tie. His father stood behind him, the same eyebags matching his son's as he stared off into space. He was much less formal, but his sweatpants and wife's beater shirt still toned him and made him just as formal looking.

"Good morning, shinsou." you say sourly as the man's face hardened.

"Oh come on, you still mad at me?" he says, brows furrowing as he gripped the side of his shirt.

"Yes, I am. You hurt me that day, how could I not be mad still?" you reply, gazing out the window as you watched the rain fall down.

"Whatever, I'm not here to argue. Where is the money? You still owe me, you know." he says.

With the air tense, you tensed up. "..I don't have it. Not today."

"You don't what?" he yells, "You've had fucking months y/n! Where the hell is it? I can only wait so long before the cops jump my ass!" he exclaims, starting you as you step back.

"Just one more-"

"Fuckin' no! You've had long enough now." he says, stepping forward as his father turns your way as well.

"I can't just spit up a thousand dollars today-"

"No, but I can." dabi says as he throws a wad of cash to shinsou, taking you behind his back as he steps forwards.

"Welcome back to LOV, shinsou. Would you like to join again?" dabi says with a grin as shinsou tensed up, aizawa's eyes going wide as he focused on his son.

"Oh wait.. does your father not know?"

"You were in LOV?" aizawa asks as shinsou turns around with beads of sweat coating his forehead. "well... no, but-"

Dabi chuckles as he grabs your hand, dragging you away from the gradually louder lobby as he takes you to his office.

--------

"You didn't have to do that, you know." you say stubbornly as dabi grins against your neck.

"Just let me have this, will you?" he says as he continues to press soft kisses against your neck, rubbing circles on the plush of your ass below your skirt as you lean your head back.

"But.. the blinds.." you blab as you point towards the window cracked open, full view into the hallway fully visible.

"They won't see us, darling, stop with the worrying."

He nips at your neck, distracting you as he unbuckled his belt and pushed your panties to the side. As soon as you felt the cool air tickle your skin, it was immediately filled with warmth as he stuffed himself all the way in. You choked out a moan as he sat back, leaning his head back with a groan and throwing his hands on the backboard of the couch as you fell into his chest.

"You do all the work- damn-" he groans out, your shallow movements impacting his as you squeeze him perfectly.

You took a while, but you did begin moving, And he would be lying if he said that he almost didn't come there, but he held back just to see who would do it first.

"bastard..I can feel you twitching." you mutter under your breath with a grin as you look up at him with a challenging glint.

"Maybe, let's see if we get to come or get seen first though." he says with an equal grin as footsteps approach your door.

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myristicisms · 10 months ago

Text

How long has she been a dweller of Deepground for? That irritating chuckle seems to have been something on loop for years and years, no matter how she tries to ignore it it still rings loud and clear within her ears, each command and order given to her from the all knowing professor. She's tired, not in the physical sense but sick of having to inflict more and more pain upon those that didn't ask for nor deserve it. Varying ages, from young teens to middle aged, it was indiscriminate and she hated it with everything in her being.

Regret was not something she could just shake off, back when a smiling face was what she'd get have breakfast with rather than sit on her lonesome, times were simpler, happier. She may not have had much money or much use but there was joy in abundance and that's what counted.

Nowadays there really was nothing, just shot after shot, day in and day out all she could do was just continue on and do as she's told, try to ease each person through the process and give them a moment of relief, time to deal with the disorienting feeling of the injections. Today had been relatively easy, slow and pleasant enough but she knows already that the reason for that was due to who she had too. The Emperor's time had come around again and she can only hope that this time, much like the previous times throughout the years, would go by smoothly enough. Dealing with the Tsviets wasn't the worst, certainly didn't make her feel too horrible but for the last fourteen years they usually made her guilt leap into her throat.

Pallid fingers gently drum against her thigh, patiently waiting for the familiar drone of footsteps to approach her room, years ago she'd be wheeling around the area getting everything sorted before her next ‘ patient ’ but Valk had learned a while ago to take as much time as possible whenever the white haired man came for his injections.

( What an ugly name... )

But it's hers, whether she liked it or not it didn't really matter. She's pulled from her thoughts once the Restrictors opened her door, the same song and dance begins again it seems and once she sees white spikes step in, she's swift to stand and offer a polite bow to the man, quicky ushers the Restrictors out with a scowl. Cerulean blues land on the ruler of Deepground and her expression softens. “ Sir. ” She offers politely, allows the man time to get himself situated. “ It's good to see you once again, circumstances aside, that is. ”

Lil starter for @sleeplesswork | Weiss

#muse;; miriam #sleeplesswork | weiss #verse;; shackled butterfly

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treadmilltreats · 4 months ago

Text

My Special Day, September 22

So yesterday I celebrated my special day. This date holds a lot of meaning for me, in good ways, and in bad.

On September 22,1980, my father passed away. He was only 45 years old. My world as I knew it changed forever, and I was never the same. They say that time heals all wounds, yeah, maybe... but not when it comes to losing a parent. I still miss him, even now, all these years later.

But the date, that horrible date that used to make me cry, now holds other meanings for me as well. It once signified death and pain for me, but it has come to signify life and rebirth for me. On that same date, many years later, September 22 was the date I signed my lease on my new home and started my new life, finally freeing myself from my horrible marriage.

I prayed for so long for a home for me and my girls, and what day did I get it? Yes, you guessed it, September 22. I knew my father was looking down on me on that day as I was signing my lease. Believe it or not, that day was also the day I also sold my business, a business that I had only had started less than a year before. What was I really selling? Why did he want to buy it? I actually thought I was being punked! But God, here I was making a deal to sell it and stay on as a consultant for a large amount of money each week. I was also getting 2 weeks paid vacation and paid holidays, just what I was praying for while I was going through this divorce. I needed a way to take care of me and my girls since I got no alimony and only 250.00 a month of child support for my 2 girls.

I am here to tell you that prayer works and dreams can come true. Yes, I had walked out on faith, I got nothing, but here I was being taken care of by God, and you asked me why my faith was so strong? Honey, please, if he did this, then there is nothing God can't do.

A year later, I decided to get Baptist in our church, and yes, you guessed it, it happened to be September 22. This was a special day for me as I found this church when I had hit rock bottom. This church and these people who I came to call my church family literally saved my life. This was a huge step for me to give my life over to God in front of all that I loved and especially because I was doing it with the women who brought me there in the first place. To me, all of these things meant that even though my father wasn't here, he was always looking down and looking after me.

Were all these things coincidences? Well, you can say so, but I know better.

I know it's my dad making sure I am all right. I know there are always two ways to look at things, either you can see them as a negative or you can look at them in a positive light, and the choice is up to you.

I chose to look at this date with remembrance to my dad, to a wonderful man and father who was taken too soon but left me a lifetime of wonderful memories. I look at this date as my life changer, a date for significant change and growth in my life. A date that now lets me know I can do anything. That I can manifest anything, and that I can know it will be alright because he is always there for me.

So today my friends, remember that your parents will not be here forever, spend as much time with them as possible. Call them every day, tell them you love them because one day they will be gone and you never want to live with regret. But also know this, as parents, they will always look out for you. They will always be there, even if they aren't here physically, anymore.

Today, I dedicate this blog to my wonderful father in heaven. A father that drove 3 hours every Sunday to see me and make me his special pancakes every weekend. A father who was above all fathers, who paid child support above and beyond what he was supposed to.

A father that paid for my clothes, doctors, dentists, camp, dance lessons, and anything else I needed or wanted. A father who, despite divorce, put me first all the time. A father who made me laugh taught me culture, who gave me my love for the city and for cars. He taught me hard work, to value your things, and that no matter what, you never say anything bad about your ex to your children, ever.

Thank you for always looking out for me, for letting me know that even though you're not here physically, I know that spiritually, you will always be here for me.

I miss you every day...

I love you, Daddy, now always and forever.

"Be the change you want to see”

@TreadmillTreatsCheck out today's blog

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Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

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#positive #self help #love #father

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thepeacockshallstrut · 1 year ago

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Henry's Video Game Collection Wishlist

I like collecting trinkets and am always looking to collect additional trinkets. I thought it would be nice to write down what all I'm looking to obtain someday.

NOW DETAILED WITHIN: MOTHER 3, Octopath Traveler/II, Persona 3 Portable (the new releases), Pokémon Legends Arceus, Sam & Max Remastered

A WIP for now... ever growing, ever changing. Prices subject to an infinite increase until the eventual heat death of the universe. Let's dig in!

MOTHER 3 Deluxe Box

MSRP: 18,000 yen, or approx. $120

Market price: Enough to be somebody's rent payment

Image provided by STARMEN.NET.

I mean, what a beaut, right? Just look at her. I've longed for this extremely small Game Boy Advance with a minor difference in faceplate since I was a wee babe. (Or a sixth grader, I think.) Anyway, I remember the price on eBay being around $600 back then, and the price has gone up surprisingly not that much given inflation.

Speaking of, here's an interesting note about this item's retail price: the page on STARMEN.NET documenting this box around release put the cost of the item at "around $155." As suggested above, the value of yen in comparison to the value of the dollar has significantly depreciated in the past two decades. Also, accounting for inflation, 18k JPY in 2006 is about 20.2k JPY today... still closer to around $135 USD. Meanwhile $120 in 2006 money has the same buying power as $185 today, while $155 would be worth around $240 today. Depressing, right?

Looking around on Japanese listings, the price is about equivalent to US eBay listings... a small mercy if you ask me. I'm not sure how consoles like these ship overseas anyway, given the battery. Oh well.

Octopath Traveler - Wayfarer's Edition

MSRP: $90

Market price: $180ish with the game, $120ish without--though prices fluctuate pretty heavily

Come on, man. Comes in a little pop-up book. Ridiculous.

The box comes encased in one of those plasticky outer shells that scratch horribly, but it usually means that the box itself is in very good condition when sold secondhand. It's also not super clear in the promotional image, but the map of Orsterra is made of cloth.

Definitely lots of pointless trinkets here. Trinkets that I would just love to display. Hoo-ah!

Octopath Traveler II Steelbook (Switch ver.)

MSRP: That's a good question. I'm under the impression that you could get the Steelbook edition for an additional $10 when purchasing the game from select retailers.

Market price: $25 (game not included)

Prices for the game with the steelbook are ridiculous enough that I would advise just buying a secondhand copy of the game separately. I got my copy from a local game store for $35 and I've seen it for even cheaper online.

For those of you who prefer the Playstation versions, the PS4/PS5 steelbook appears more expensive on resale, but the games themselves are generally cheaper. Your mileage may vary.

In any case, it does pain me to forsake the Collector's Edition of this game, but the price just isn't worth it to me. $200 MSRP is already pretty steep. I would assume the included artbook does not showcase any work that isn't already present in the sold-seperately Octopath II artbook (well, actually, it sounds more like a Champions of the Continent artbook that happens to also have OT2 art in it, but that's besides the point), and the bust standees, while beautifully sculpted, are not my typical style of figure collecting... and they're not even actually metal! The box is indeed very pretty but I have to draw the line somewhere, and that line appears to stand around $300 cardboard. (The US release doesn't even get that damn tote bag...)

In any case, I love steelbooks. They're just too handsome. I've yet to find a fanmade OT1 one that I like, but maybe when that time comes it too will join my oddly-shaped collection.

Persona 3 Portable - Grimoire Edition

MSRP: $70

Market price: Something stupid, probably

I had actually intended on preordering one of these special editions back when they were announced... I just sort of forgot. Oops! Now I am subject to the whims of Limited Run aftermarket prices. Anything for such a pretty steelbook I guess.

I have mixed feelings about the full collector's edition for this game, AKA the "S.E.E.S. Edition." I think the thing I like most about it is the box it all comes in, which is generally a bad sign. I was very excited about the Evoker proplica until I realized it's only half of the gun trapped in the box forever... maybe I should just go hunt down that water gun. Regardless I'm not too torn up about passing that one up. (Well... except for the stupid briefcase box. I don't think it's a top-opener like the Scott Pilgrim CE was though. Which is just a shame!)

I guess I might also go for the "Grimoire Edition" of P4G if my pockets are feeling too heavy, but I'm not as jazzed about that game or its steelbook design. Also, I already ordered the collector's edition of Persona 3 Reload... it's too much, Atlus... it's just too much.

Pokémon Legends Arceus - Steelbook (UK Preorder Bonus)

MSRP: I think some shops charged an extra 5 quid for the steelbook

Market price: $25

PLA got some lovely preorder bonuses across the pond. Alongside this steelbook, depending on your retailer of choice, you could also get a Hisuian Pokéball replica or an Arceus statue (reminiscent of the HGSS preorder bonuses of old). Of course, you could also get the Arceus sitting cutie from the UK Pokemon Center, just like the US one... without the steelbook though? Alright. I do wonder if the UK release had the same supply chain issues for the Arceus plush as the US did. Anyway...

Lamentations about regional differences aside, I adore this steelbook! A lot of love in this artwork. The other Pokémon steelbooks, while cool, are mostly just cover legendaries but metal, or maybe gold... (and, frankly, some very ugly patterns on the inside of the box! Shameful!) It's OK though. PLA has had mercy on my soul.

I also think it would be super cool to get my hands on one of the SuMo/USUM steelbooks someday, if only for the novelty of having a steelbook for a 3DS game. Those resale prices though! Whew! Maybe someday...

Sam & Max Remastered

MSRP: $35 (standard), $75-80 (collector's), $5 (slipcover)

Market price: $50 (standard), $150 (collector's), $15 (slipcover)

These collector's editions are extremely cool historical pieces. Recreations of decades-old merch, wow! It's a shame I've never been able to get these retail price because Limited Run aftermarket is ridiculous. Still, I'd like to get my mitts on these someday.

My goal is to own all three collector's editions and display the three games in the slipcover. (Devil's Playhouse remaster coming soon! Any day now...)

Having the Hit the Road collector's edition would be cool but I'm not as set on it. If I had my way, I would start collecting the different physical releases of HtR/the original Telltale titles too! Restraint, restraint...

That's everything I can think of for now. I'll add more as it crosses my brainstream ^^

#iso radio #sam and max #mother 3 #persona 3 #octopath traveler #Do pardon the tags... just wonder if someone might be interested in my ramblings and market price observations #pokemon legends arceus #Ok byebye

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