#mac and cheese feels like to much for like eight at night
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the-kneesbees · 7 months ago
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any recommendations for some food I can keep in the freezer/cabinets and heat up real quick if I get hungry?
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rosesradio · 2 years ago
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#i don't mean to vent when i just got back on here but like#so i haven't had a midnight snack in months--just didn't feel the need--#but the night before last & last night i got a sleeve of saltines each--these were short sleeves of like 10-15#i got the box for my dad when he was sick because he asked me & it had been sitting there for maybe 3 months since & no one wanted them#but then tonight we had soup & my parents asked about the saltines & basically found out#& my dad kinda chewed me out--not about eating the last of them because there was another box they used--#but that that was way too much to eat & i eat too much & will get diabetes#which i feel just isn't true ?#without divulging too much i eat two meals a day (i don't like breakfast)--like a sandwich at lunch & then whatever me and/or my mom--#makes at dinner#maybe a snack in between but not often#& then some (like a serving size) of ice cream for dessert#like a get a lot of cravings but it's not often i act on it because food is expensive#anyways i felt so bad about what my dad was saying i started crying & he said i was being overdramatic. but i didn't finish my dinner#& now i don't even want to eat around him#i should probably just ignore him--i love him but he's one of those dads that gets so involved at work that he just wants to watch tv when--#he's off. & he thinks i'm basically the same person i was when i was eight years old--like i love mac n cheese & my favorite color is orange#but honestly i did suffer some disordered eating/body image issues in hs & i'm sure my relationship with food isn't completely healed#but it still hurts to see people think things about me that aren't that accurate#tw vent#tw disordered eating#rose.txt#To be deleted
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apomaro-mellow · 1 year ago
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Steve gets the wrong number and starts texting an interesting guy. Steddie, modern au, no upside down
Steve had been feeling pretty good. He’d gone out, had a nice conversation with a girl at the bar and gotten her number. He didn’t feel sparks but she was nice and cute. They didn’t talk about anything too deep but when Steve had asked for her number she put it in and then left with her friends.
He tried not to be too desperate. But he wanted to let her know he was serious and that he would (eventually) be good boyfriend material. So a little before midnight, he shot a text to her to make sure she was alright.
[11:47] Hey this is Steve just making sure you got home okay 🙂
He had debated on the emoji but figured it was harmless and innocent in the end. He put his phone down and got ready for bed, expecting her to text back after a couple of minutes. Unless she didn’t get home safely. Steve tried not to think about that.
After changing his clothes and brushing his teeth he checked his phone. He lit up when he saw that Misty had replied.
(11:52) Sure did Steve-o (11:53) Thanks for your concern 🫡
Misty texted a little different from the way she talked. A bit more…well he wasn’t sure how to describe it. Misty seemed like a really straight-laced woman. She was in the process of getting her education degree.
Steve shot back another message, saying that he had a good time tonight and he really hoped to see her again. There it was. A clear intention. If she responded positively, he’d ask her out right then. But the reply didn’t come as quick as he wanted. When it got around 12:30, Steve finally called it a night. Misty had probably gone to sleep as well.
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[11:47] Hey this is Steve just making sure you got home okay 🙂
Eddie stared at the text he just received. He racked his brain for whoever Steve must be and what he had done all day today, wondering if he met someone but their name just slipped his mind.
But nope. He had spent this lovely Saturday at home, lounging around in his apartment on his day off. He hadn’t gone out. And he hadn’t met anyone named Steve. The message came when he was in the middle of making his near-midnight dinner of mac and cheese. Whoever this guy was, he was clearly checking in on someone.
Eddie looked at his surroundings. Decent place, a bit cramped but big enough for just him and for anyone who needed to crash on his couch. He had popped out earlier to get some cigs and he had in fact made it back safely.
(11:52) Sure did Steve-o (11:53) Thanks for your concern 🫡
And who said he didn’t have impulse control? He thought about it for at least two minutes before sending the message.
[11:55] I had a nice time tonight. Hope to see you again.
Eddie looked at the new text, his chewing slowing to a stop. This Steve guy had met someone, spent some time with them, and was now trying to set up another date. There were a few ways to go about this. For just a moment he considered what a rational person would do, just a moment though.
A rational person might’ve said right away ‘wrong number’ or ‘wires crossed’. But Eddie’s brain didn’t function on rationality. So even though Steve clearly meant to text someone else, Eddie thought of the best way to reply. It did take him a bit to send it, the macaroni was calling to him. But by 1, Eddie had sent something back.
(1:07) You saw me?  (1:09) From my apartment?  (1:10) Creepy
He went to bed, thinking he’d wake up to a very confused man and when morning came he wasn’t disappointed.
[8:13] What are you talking about? It’s Steve? From the bar?
Eddie checked his clock. It was ten in the morning. Who got up at eight on a Sunday? Eddie’s first thought was a church-goer. Those folks were early risers. But they didn’t frequent bars too much.
(10:29) Sorry man (10:30) I think you got the wrong number (10:30) I didn’t go to a bar last night.
Once he sent it, Eddie belatedly hoped the words weren’t too blunt. It couldn’t feel nice, getting a number error. But after a moment of thinking, he started coming around to the idea that maybe Steve wasn’t such a catch. People didn’t give wrong numbers after a good time. Maybe he actually was a creep.
[10:36] Oh. Well, I’m sorry to bother you.
Eddie rolled from his back onto his stomach. Curse his soft heart. He didn’t know anything about this man and somehow he felt sorry for him. But he wasn’t about to go gushing to a stranger. Who knows what kind of interactions Steve had with this mystery number? So instead, he went the typical Eddie route and tried to lighten the mood.
(10:38) Probably dodged a bullet (10:38) They could’ve been a serial killer (10:39) Or worse someone who jogs in the morning
He put that little dig there just to feel out Steve. If he wasn’t at church, maybe he was the kind to go and workout in the morning. In the middle of making his coffee, Eddie realized he was trying to learn about the dude and thought he might be courting danger. Then he heard a ‘ping!’ and any ideas of caution were thrown to the wind.
Leaning against the counter, the only sound was the percolating as he read what Steve had said.
[10:46] Okay confession. I did actually go for a jog this morning. Is that weird?
Eddie started to visualize this man and another alarm went off in his mind that he promptly shooed away.
(10:47) No not weird at all (10:47) It’s perfectly natural for an insane person (10:48) Didn’t you go drinking last night? (10:48) And then you went for a jog this morning? (10:49) You might just be more scary than a murderer (10:50) Scratch that (10:50) This seems like text book serial killer behavior (10:51) Bet this is how you scope out your targets
The coffee finished brewing and Eddie starting pouring it and it was only then he realized the wall he’d sent Steve accusing him of being a killer. It looked like texts from a crazy person. He looked crazy. His friends had complained more than once about him sending these streams of texts instead of keeping it all in one response. Steve was going to see that and leave him on read, or just block his number.
[10:57] Damn guess I better come up with a new tactic.
Eddie didn’t realize how hard he was smiling until he tried to drink and spilled hot coffee on himself. Alarms were ringing in his head again but he might as well be deaf.
Part 2
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nataliasquote · 2 months ago
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Double the trouble | Switch Up | n romanoff
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Double the trouble AU
Summary: Yelena is back, the twins are older, and her scheming ways do nothing but backfire. a mother always knows…
Age: 8
Warnings: none
wc: 3.3k
note: hello! I’m back with another little oneshot for DTT. I’ve missed writing tbh and although this isn’t the best, I’m pleased to finally write. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting!
-⧗-
Leaving the twins with Yelena was either the best idea or the worst idea Natasha had ever had. But with Wanda away visiting her brother, Natasha didn’t really have much of a choice. Work didn’t allow her to take time off like this, so she turned to the next best thing.
The blonde was as grumpy as anything until she was faced with the two bundles of joy that were her nieces. She hated kids, but Isla and Y/n were an exception. She opened the door with a huge grin as the twins came barreling towards her, crouching barely over the threshold to collect them in a hug.
Natasha hovered back by the stairs with a soft smile tugging at her lips. Despite having a rocky patch, she truly loved Yelena with all her heart. And seeing her girls happy was all that mattered. She wished she could stay, but with new development plans happening at the studio, she had to oversee the final meeting.
“Are you staying all day?” Isla asked, peering round to look at Yelena’s truck parked in the driveway. “Where’s Fanny?”
“I’ll get her out in a minute, and yes I am, lucky duck.” The twins cheered at her response, their chatter tumbling over the top of each other as they bombarded their aunt with questions. Natasha quickly stepped in, taking them by the hand so Yelena could finally enter the house. After sending her girls over to the couch, Natasha pulled Yelena to one side, whispering in hushed voices.
“It shouldn’t take long, but in case I’m held back, there’s boxed mac and cheese in the cupboard and the girls made cookies last night so they’re in the green jar.”
“Mac and cheese, green jar, got it.”
“Please don’t give them too much sugar,” Natasha warned, knowing her sister’s tendencies, “and they have been arguing a lot, so good luck.” She didn’t really need to tell Yelena what to do, she’d babysat since they were really little, but it gave Natasha a piece of mind to know they were well looked after.
“Natasha, they’ll be fine. Don’t you trust me? Yelena asked with a grin.
“Absolutely not.”
Yelena rolled her eyes, stuffing her hands into her pockets. “So who’s the troublemaker this time?”
“Y/n has been in a mood for the past few days, so it’s currently her. Apparently Isla's existence annoys her.” As if on cue, a yell sounded from the living room and Natasha inwardly groaned. A moment of peace was never on the cards.
As she went to sort out whatever argument was occurring with her eight year olds, Yelena let Fanny out of the car and watched the Akita bound up the front steps, her tail wagging frantically. Any normal person would feel bad about the amount of hair she shed, but it only made Yelena laugh. She truly made every place her home.
The scene in the living room was absurd even for Yelena. Natasha was scolding a pouting Y/n whilst Isla cried in her arms, clutching something hidden behind her hair. Yelena hovered awkwardly, unsure how to approach, and Fanny did the same. It was almost like she could read the room.
Natasha, breathing a sigh of relief, gestured for Yelena to approach, to which she did. A sniffly Isla was pushed in her direction and the young girl lunged at her aunt, clinging to her waist with a sob.
“What happened?” Yelena mouthed, her eyebrows shooting up as Natasha held up what looked like a barbie doll. “Where’s the hair?”
“This one got scissor happy,” Natasha said exasperatedly, jabbing her thumb in Y/n’s direction.
“She stole my barbie!” Y/n protested, folding her arms across her chest in a huff.
“No!” Isla burst out,” that’s mine!”
“Well I don’t care, I was playing with it!”
“Get your own!”
Above their heads, Natasha gave Yelena a look. This is what she had been dealing with since Wanda left and although she hated leaving her kids, the bickering was starting to wear her down. It was Yelena’s turn to handle it for once. She just hoped the house would still be standing when she got back.
“Girls, please,” Natasha sighed, standing up with the barbie in her hand. “Mama has to go in a minute, and I’m not having you acting up for Yelena.” She used her stern mom voice and Y/n paled, hating being told off. “Y/n, can you apologise to Isla please.”
“No.”
Natasha may have a soft spot for her youngest but the glare that crossed her features made the little girl’s eyes well up and she hung her head in shame. “Y/n…” Natasha warned, knowing what came next if she didn’t start behaving.
“Sorry,” Y/n mumbled, suddenly very interested in the sleeve of her pink sweater.
“Good,” Natasha stated, brushing off the dog hair from her sleek black suit trousers. “I want you two on your best behaviour, and Yelena will tell me everything that happens. If I find out that you’ve been disrespectful and naughty, I will tell Mama. Okay?”
The girls mumbled in chorus, with Isla still clinging on to Yelena and Y/n standing by herself. It was just a phase, Natasha had to keep reminding herself that, but it certainly felt as though it was going to last forever. She wasn’t the bad mom, but Y/n’s behaviour had been so bad lately that not a day went by where she wasn’t being told off. It hurt her to see her daughter so upset, but Natasha stood strong. It was her own kindred spirit that she saw in Y/n, and now she understood why she was such a difficult child sometimes.
“We’re going to have fun, right guys?” Yelena asked with extravagant enthusiasm, although the responses she got were far from it. “You can go and do your boring adult stuff whilst the cool kids do… cool kid stuff.”
Natasha anxiously glanced at her kids, a wave of doubt washing over her. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can cancel-”
“Natasha, go, I’ll be fine. They’re angels with me and I’ve got Fanny with me if it all goes wrong.”
The dog in question gave a small woof and Natasha eyed her warily, far more a cat person than a dog person. She wasn’t totally convinced, but motherhood had made her anxious so she straightened out her jacket and nodded, psyching herself up.
“I’ll be back by 5, 6 at the latest.”
“Have a good day Mama,” Y/n said quietly, trying desperately to get back on her good side. Having Wanda mad at her was bad enough, but having Natasha was the worst thing she could think of. And when her Mama crouched down and opened her arms, Y/n took her chance to get to the hug first, muttering another ‘sorry’ to try and make amends.
“Be good, girls. I’ll be home soon.”
‘Aunty Lena, does Mama hate me?” Y/n asked as the door closed. The blonde frowned and turned to her niece, her large green eyes piercing into the Russian’s soul.
“Of course not, little bug. But you have to start being nice to Isla, okay?”
“I know,” Y/n replied. “She just really makes me mad.”
“That’s what sisters do. Your mama and I used to fight all the time.”
Y/n’s eyes lit up. “You did?”
“It’s totally normal, little bug. When your mama had blue hair, I used to tease her about it all the time.”
Isla’s head perked up at that. “Mama had blue hair?”
“Has she never shown you pictures?” Yelena asked in disbelief. Both girls shook their heads and Yelena grinned. “I’ll make some hot chocolate and I can show you. Your grandma put all our photos as kids in an album.”
The twins cheered loudly and ran to the kitchen, laughing with each other. It was such a stark contrast to earlier that Yelena had to do a double take at what she was witnessing.
“I’m glad you’re not this much work,” she muttered to Fanny, who barked happily at the noise. Kids really were hard work.
~~~
“Lena, kick it!” Isla yelled across the garden, dancing around the goal whilst her aunt really took her time. She was doing it purely to mess with her niece, and it was working perfectly. With another yell, Isla sprinted out of the goal in an attempt to tackle, but Yelena took her chance and sent the ball flying into the goal with a thud.
“That’s not fair!” She cried, running over to retrieve it.
“Another point to Aunt Lena!” Y/n announced from her place at the side before launching into another back walkover. She’d only recently learned the skill at dance and was more than happy to do acro tricks whilst they played. As long as she kept score as promised.
“No! That doesn’t count,” Isla protested, one foot propped up on the ball. “She cheated.”
“I didn’t cheat, you just have no patience,” Yelena said sassily, propping a hand up on her hip. “You’re not going to make a very good goal keeper.”
“I hate soccer anyway,” Isla grumbled, kicking the ball as hard as she could in Yelena’s direction. “It sucks.”
“It’s only because you’re bad at it,” Y/n piped up, now sitting on the porch steps after exhausting herself from cartwheels.
“You’re worse!” Typical comeback but Yelena had had enough. With a roll of her eyes, she marched towards the goal, giving Isla a bump with her elbow as she walked past.
“New game, I’ll be in goal and you have to work together to score. Deal?”
Isla shook her head. “I’m not playing with her, she can’t even kick a ball!”
“I can too!” Y/n protested, sprinting up to her sister. “I’m better than you and I don’t even have lessons.”
“That’s so not true. You-”
“Guys!” Yelena shouted, her Russian accent thickly coating her words. “Do you ever stop this fighting? It’s so annoying!”
The twins went silent, an uncommon phenomenon. Y/n muttered something under her breath but Yelena didn’t have it in her to care anymore. Every time she babysat it made her more and more impressed at how Natasha did it. A true saint.
“New rules. You have to pass it to each other before trying to score. If you don’t, the point goes to me. Okay?”
“Fine!”
Surprisingly, very few fights broke out over the course of the game. Isla did most of the scoring after Y/n well and truly botched her tries. But in her defence, her legs weren’t made for kicking the shit out of a soccer ball.They were made for cartwheels, which Isla soon got fed up with.
After far too long outside, Yelena rounded them up and herded them back inside after teeth started chattering and Y/n’s soaked trouser legs from falling over were turning her lips slightly blue.
After a quick bath she sat them both on Isla’s bed and dug through her closet for some comfier clothes. After a few minutes she sat back on her knees, her mind racing.
“Do you guys match anymore?”
“Ew,” Isla said, her nose scrunching. “Never. All Y/n wears is pink, and I hate pink.”
“You also hate dresses too.”
Yelena was quiet for a moment, the cogs in her head turning. She turned around with a sheepish smile, almost shaking with excitement.
“I have an idea, but you need to cooperate… okay?”
~~~
Natasha sighed as she stepped out of her car, her breath forming a small cloud in front of her. It was far too cold for October and she rushed up the front steps to get inside. The building work was looking amazing and she knew Y/n was itching to get back to the studio just as much as she was (there was only so much kitchen ballet they could do).
It was eerily quiet as the front door opened, only her heels sounding on the wooden floor as she approached the kitchen. She wasn’t met with a pile of bodies throwing themselves at her, which was probably more strange than the silence. Had she trusted Yelena too much and her sister had kidnapped her children and ran off to Russia? Honestly it wasn’t such a surprising theory.
Empty kitchen… empty living room… this was weird. But the sound of giggles couldn’t be hidden and Natasha kicked off her heels at the bottom of the stairs and took the stairs two at a time, her trousers straining around her thigh muscles. Isla’s laugh was the most distinguishable and she pushed the door open slowly, trying not to startle anyone.
The wholesome sight of the three of them sitting on the floor surrounded by stuffed animals was enough to melt Natasha’s heart and she smiled softly, leaning on the doorframe waiting for someone to notice her. And strangely it wasn’t Y/n but Isla who jumped up first, almost stumbling over Fanny to get to her Mama with a shriek.
Natasha caught her daughter in her arms and pressed kisses all over her face, warmth flooding her body. She would never feel complete when she was away from her girls.
Y/n quickly joined in, wanting the same cuddles. Natasha crouched down and stroked their cheeks before pausing slightly, squinting. Something wasn’t right and Yelena’s overly wide grin didn’t help her suspicions either. She stroked Isla’s hair with a chuckle and straightened up, her back aching from bending down so much.
“Did you girls have a good day?” She asked, watching as Y/n settled back on the floor beside Fanny. “You both look happier than when I left.”
“We played soccer and beat Aunt Lena!” Y/n piped up. “I scored all the goals.”
“No, I helped too!”
Natasha didn’t miss the way Yelena nudged her nieces or how their eyes went as wide as saucers. But the redhead just chuckled and took a seat on Isla’s bed, her legs slightly aching from standing all day.
Isla stood in front of her, clearly torn with where to go. Natasha knew she wanted to sit on her knee but watched as she settled beside Yelena again. It was impressive, Natasha gave her that much. Very dedicated to the cause.
“You did? Well done baby. Have you behaved today?”
“They’ve been angels, sestra, as usual. It’s only you they are bad for.” Yelena had a shit eating grin and it took everything in Natasha not to launch a pillow at her head. But she could not condone aggression around her violent children anyway before Y/n got any more ideas.
“Is that right?”
“Mama you had blue hair!”
If looks could kill, Yelena would be well and truly dead. If there was one thing Natasha hated, it was pictures of her younger self. She made far too many questionable decisions and went through one too many boxes of hair dye, so seeing pictures was a no no. Not even Wanda had seen many. And now her daughters had seen the worst ones which she was never going to live down.
“Yelena Belova… what did you do.”
The blonde just shrugged and jumped up, causing Fanny to do the same. The queen of avoiding things. “Who wants Aunt Yelena’s special mac and cheese?”
The twins both cheered and raced out of the room after their aunt, leaving Natasha slightly bewildered in the blue and white room. There were times where Natasha convinced herself that Yelena wasn’t all that bad, and then she pulled stunts like this and put herself back on top of Natasha’s hit list. But that was never going to change.
“What else did you show my kids, Yelena?”
No reply. Typical.
Natasha truly was outnumbered when her sister was around. But then she remembered what was really going on and a small laugh escaped Natasha’s mouth. Adorable, really.
Y/n and Isla helped as much as they could to make dinner, including standing on a chair to stir the boiling noodles and dumping the cheese packets in when instructed. Natasha was banished to setting the table after Isla gave her a lecture about her inability to cook, clearly something else she’d picked up from Yelena. But Natasha yielded, setting the cutlery down with a shake of her head. The longer it went on for, the more she tried not to laugh. And the more slip ups she noticed.
Like how Isla wouldn’t stand on the chair because she was scared of heights, even though yesterday she climbed the largest tree in the backyard. And how Y/n stood still when waiting for her turn, when she’d usually be twirling around with her apron. Natasha could only watch as Yelena heavily emphasised their names and the twins burst into giggles whenever they answered her. It was adorable to see and she couldn’t wait to tell Wanda.
They ate in silence, which was usually the case when mac and cheese was involved. And the girls did very well, Natasha gave them that, until she pulled an admittedly evil move.
“How about cookies?” Yelena asked once plates were cleared and the table was wiped down.
“It sounds good to me,” Natasha agreed, grabbing the tin and sitting back at the table. “One each, you too Yelena. And Y/n, you know the rules. You got in trouble today so you don’t get a cookie.”
She slid the tin to Isla who happily reached in until a protest sounded from the girl next to her.
“That’s not fair! That’s my cookie!”
Isla had already shoved her cookie in her mouth at this point, the crumbs sticking to her cheeks and the front of her shirt. She grinned happily, thankful she agreed to Yelena’s scheming plot.
“Mama! That’s mine!”
Natasha shook her head. “No Y/n, those aren’t the rules, you know that.”
Isla smacked her palm against the tabletop. “I’m not Y/n! She is!” She pointed at her sister harshly, who was licking the crumbs from her fingertips. “We switched!”
“Isla!” Y/n whined, “You weren’t supposed to spoil it!”
“I’m not losing my cookie, give it to me!”
“No,” Y/n said with a grin. “Mama said you can’t have one, so you can’t.”
“I hate you!”
Natasha watched the scene unfold, with Yelena looking more and more concerned. The blonde turned to her sister for help, but was met with only a smirk and a raised eyebrow.
“Do something!” Yelena hissed, but Natasha shook her head.
“Absolutely not,” Natasha said, leaning back in her chair. “It’s your mess, you fix it.”
“Tell her Aunt Lena!” Isla cried, tears threatening to spill. “Tell her I’m Isla! I’m not Y/n.”
Whilst Isla was nearing a breakdown, Y/n’s mean streak thickened. “These cookies really are good.”
“Mama please!”
Natasha rounded the table and placed a kiss on Isla’s forehead before passing her the biggest cookie from the tin. “Here baby, you’re okay,” she soothed, gently wiping her tears. “But your Aunt is an idiot. I did know it was you all along Isl’s, I’m sorry baby.” She picked her daughter up and set her on her lap, holding her close as she ate her cookie.
Yelena’s mouth fell open. “You knew?”
“From the moment ‘Isla’ ran to me first.” Yelena hit the table, muttering ‘dammit’ under her breath. “A mother always know, Yel. Always.”
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elliesbelle · 1 year ago
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nobody compares to you
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chapter 13
pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact
word count: 9k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):
the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”
the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”
palestine will be free
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“Where the fuck even are you?” 
“Not home.” 
“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 
“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 
“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 
Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 
Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 
Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 
Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 
When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 
Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 
“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 
“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 
“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 
“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 
Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 
“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 
Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 
“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 
“Wassup, Chang.” 
“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 
“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 
“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 
“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 
“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 
Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 
“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 
Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 
Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 
“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 
Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 
“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 
“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 
“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 
“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 
“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 
“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 
Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 
“Is she breathing?” 
“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 
“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 
“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 
Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 
“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 
The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 
“Did she have any?” He asks. 
While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 
“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 
“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 
“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 
“I don’t know.” 
“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 
“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 
“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 
Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 
“I-I don’t know...” 
“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 
“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 
Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 
“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 
“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 
Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 
“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 
Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 
“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 
“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 
“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 
Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 
Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 
“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”
“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 
Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 
She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 
Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 
Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 
She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 
Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 
She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 
She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 
She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 
She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 
Maybe even still. 
Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.
While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 
She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 
Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 
“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 
“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 
They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 
“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 
“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 
She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 
“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 
Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 
“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 
“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 
“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 
“Oh, Ellie…” 
Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 
“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 
“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 
“Thank you, D, seriously.” 
Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 
“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 
Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 
“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 
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You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 
“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 
“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 
“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 
“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 
“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 
“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 
Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 
“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 
“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 
“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 
She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 
Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 
“Are you okay, El?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 
“I’m fine, Jess.” 
“Dude.” 
“What?” 
Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 
“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 
“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 
“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 
Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 
“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 
Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 
“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 
“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 
“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 
“Look—” 
“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 
“You don’t understa—” 
“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 
“I… I—” 
“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 
“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 
“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 
Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 
“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 
Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 
“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 
“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 
“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 
“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 
Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 
“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 
“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 
“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 
“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 
“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 
“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 
“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 
“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 
“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 
“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 
“What about her?” Ellie asks. 
“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 
“So?” 
“Ellie.” 
Ellie clicks her tongue. 
“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 
Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 
Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 
“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 
Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 
Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 
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Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 
Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 
At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 
Barbie Bear. 
She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 
After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 
Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 
Dear Ellie, 
It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 
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I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 
Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 
Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 
Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 
She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 
Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 
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Earlier That Evening 
Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 
But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 
It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 
Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 
Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 
“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 
“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 
Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 
“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 
“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 
“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 
There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 
“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 
“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 
“Wait, what?” 
“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 
“Oh, right.” 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 
“What?” 
“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 
“Oh, uh…” 
“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 
“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 
“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah.” 
“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 
“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 
“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 
“Whatever.” 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“Well?” Daniela asked. 
“It’s kind of complicated.” 
“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 
“Look, Daniela—” 
“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 
“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 
“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 
“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 
“So you said.” 
Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 
“Hey, what the fuck—” 
“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 
“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 
Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 
“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 
“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 
“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 
“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 
She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 
“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 
And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 
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Present 
Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 
She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 
First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 
Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 
The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 
As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.
Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 
A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 
Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 
After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 
Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 
Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 
To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.
Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 
Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 
But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 
Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 
Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 
Joel. 
She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 
Joel picks up after only two rings. 
“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 
“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 
“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 
“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 
Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 
“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 
“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 
With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 
“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 
“Yeah…” 
“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 
Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 
“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 
“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 
“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 
“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 
There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 
“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 
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Last August: Jackson 
Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 
Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 
“Knock, knock.” 
“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 
“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 
“You, dude.” 
The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 
“Need any help packin’ up?” 
“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 
“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 
“Like I said: essentials.” 
Joel chuckled. 
“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 
“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 
“Good.” 
Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 
“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 
“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 
“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 
“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 
“Ellie.” 
“What?” 
“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 
Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 
“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 
“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 
“She ditched me.” 
“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 
“What do you want from me, old man?” 
“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 
“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 
“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 
“We weren’t together.” 
“Yes, you were.” 
Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 
“You still have the box, Ellie.” 
“I just forgot I even had it.” 
“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 
“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 
“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 
“Sorry, dude.” 
“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 
Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 
“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 
Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 
“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”
Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 
“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 
“That so? How do you figure that?” 
“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 
“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 
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Present Day 
“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 
“I know, baby girl.” 
Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 
“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 
“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 
“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 
“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 
“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 
“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 
“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 
“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 
“What don’t I understand?” 
“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 
A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 
“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 
Ellie chokes back a sob. 
“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 
“Ellie.” 
“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 
“It’s not that simple, kid.” 
“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 
The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 
“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 
Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 
“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 
Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 
“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 
Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 
“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 
“All I did was—” 
“All you did was save her life.” 
Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 
“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 
The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 
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author’s notes:
belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???
saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎
i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)
the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO
anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl
the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe
i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one
yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.
btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO
the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL
i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway
yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away
ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao
the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)
i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)
ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else
the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.
we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3
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xoxoavenger · 7 months ago
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Give Me Your Weekends
pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
summary: But I knew you/Playing hide-and-seek and/Giving me your weekends, I/I knew you/Your heartbeat on the High Line/Once in 20 lifetimes, I/And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/Under someone's bed/You put me on and said I was your favorite
word count: 1263
cardigan masterlist main masterlist
"So, ya know how today was supposed to be our date night?" Y/N says as she gets home from work. JJ had just gotten back as well, but John B was still out. Sarah was on the couch, and for a moment Y/N thought of how weird it was that they were all living together.
"Yes." JJ starts, walking in and pausing. "Just like every other Saturday night."
"I got a call from the Kamps," She starts. She feels guilty, she does, but she couldn't pass this up and she hopes JJ agrees. "They asked me to babysit. They're paying well and we really need the money." They were trying to move out, because recently Kie and Pope had been staying over and there wasn't enough room for all six of them in the Chateau. Plus, it would be nice to have their own place, to show their parents that they were responsible despite their upbringing.
"It's fine." JJ smiles and puts his hands on her arms, effectively calming her down. "I'll come too, and we can make it a date night." She can't believe she got someone like JJ. Someone who would give up his date night, his weekend, just to be with her while she babysat.
"It's overnight." She cringes as she says it, but JJ just smiles and pulls her in.
"We can play house." She smiles as her face heats, her heart being overloaded with feelings.
"I love you." She tells him, arms around his neck as his rest low on her hips. She leans in for a kiss, and of course he accepts.
~
When they make it to the house, JJ realizes this is not in Figure Eight, like he once thought. This family lives on the cut.
"Oh my gosh, thank you so much!" Mrs. Kamp is saying, her hair a mess. She's disheveled, and JJ has a feeling he knows what she's gonna say before she says it. "I'm so sorry for the late notice, but our usual babysitter was busy and Mike's mother is in the hospital on the mainland."
"It's no problem, really. I hope your mother-in-law is alright." Y/N says with a smile. Mr. Kamp comes out with a bag over his shoulder. They thank the young couple one more time before heading out, leaving Y/N and JJ with the kids.
The kids who are much younger than Y/N thought.
Of course, Mrs. Kamp never told Y/N how old the kids were, but she assumed that at least one of them were older than five. However, they looked around two and four, both coloring at the table. There was a note on the counter, telling Y/N that she's welcome to sleep in their bedroom and to help herself to anything in the fridge or pantry, that Mrs. Kamp will text her to let her know when they will be coming back.
"Hello," She says cheerfully once she finishes reading, the two kids looking over at her. The older one was a little boy who looked like the carbon copy of his mother. The girl looked more like a mix of both, hair braided nicely. "My name is Y/N, and this is JJ." It was then that Y/N realized that she didn't know the name of the kids.
"My name is Landon." The boy says, going back to coloring. "My sister is Jane." Jane is still looking at them with wide eyes, clutching her crayon.
"Did you guys already eat dinner?" Y/N asks, not seeing any signs of a meal in the kitchen.
"Yeah. Mom made us mac n cheese and chicken nuggets." Landon spoke very well for a kid his age.
"Cheese!" Jane yelled, smiling brightly.
"Do you mind if I color?" JJ asks, going to sit on the empty seat next to Jane. She nods and hands him the purple crayon. "I like this picture you've made." Y/N's heart swells as she watches JJ with the little girl. They don't look anything alike, but Y/N can't help but feel her feelings expand out of her chest.
"I made a pirate." Landon says as Y/N goes to sit next to him. What he made is not a pirate, but in fact a bunch of scribbles.
"It looks wonderful." She says, smiling as she looks it over. "The shading is the work of a true artist." She tells him, watching him beam and blush.
After they were done coloring, Jane looked up at JJ with big eyes and said "Hide seek?" JJ wouldn't be caught dead saying no to this girl, so he nods and helps her clean up. The couple cover their laughs when the kids are hiding terribly, behind curtains or under blankets. At one point they lose Landon for a couple minutes, long enough for them to freak out slightly until they finally find him in the shower of the bathroom. After that, they get the kids ready for bed without a hitch. They ask for their parents once, but otherwise they go to sleep with their water bottles on each bedside table.
"I brought something for us to share on the patio." She tells him, smiling as she goes to her small duffle bag and pulls out two bottles of beer.
"A woman after my very heart." JJ smiles, leaning in to kiss her as he grabs a beer.
"I've already got it." She tells him. He shrugs with a smirk, taking her hand and leading her out to the patio. It's nothing special, just a small area that looks out the marsh. There's a couch swing, which they both slowly sit on.
They sit on the swing for awhile, Y/N leaning against JJ's chest, her legs curled up. He has his arm around her, thumb caressing underneath her shirt. When her beer falls against his leg and dribbles out the remains that she hadn't drank he looks over to see her asleep, mouth slumped open and body slack. For a minute JJ wants to keep her here. She's against his chest, which means she's listening to his heartbeat, something he knows she loves. So, for another half an hour, he lightly swings, finishing his own beer and listening to Y/N's soft breathing. But then he's starting to fall asleep, so he has to wake her up with a kiss to the forehead and some low murmuring.
"I want to stay out here." She tells him, but he just moves them to sit up and stand.
"The bed will be so much more comfy." He tells her, but she's still grumbling.
"I was comfy." She frowns, but he leads her inside, making sure the beer bottles are in his bag. He gets her ready for bed, helping her change and brush her teeth sleepily before stripping and hopping in with her. She moves around so that she's laying on his chest, asleep almost immediately.
"I love you," He tells her right before he goes to sleep, sure she's already asleep. He kisses her forehead and almost jumps when she leans and kisses his chest.
"I love you more." With that JJ almost can't sleep, because his heart feels so light. "I want to get married." He tenses, heart pounding as he hears her breathing even out. He feels sick thinking about that kind of commitment; his parents were married, and look how that turned out. His father almost killed his mother before she left, and now he's the one with bruises. Oh God, what if she wants kids? He'd turn out just like his dad. He'd ruin everything.
JJ has to leave.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler
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part5of4podcast · 3 months ago
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Ok so you’re looking for a BL but with a specific flavor, like all you’re seeing at the cookout is potato salad but what you’re craving is some mac ‘n cheese, or maybe some tostones, or maybe a fresh off the grill burger? But the only thing people keep offering you is different styles of potato salad when damnit you asked for a burger! Don't bamboozle us here!
Well, luckily BL is a pretty vast genre, with a lot to offer in terms of substance and variety. If you’re up to expanding what stories you engage in, we’re up to both share and listen! Feel free to share any BL or GL that fall under today's genre highlight from tv shows, to comics, to novels, to film; we love and eat it all up, baby. 
Today’s recs are for all things horror! Happy Halloween send your love to Ghostface, Chuckie and the Babadook. 
Dead Friend Forever 
youtube
What is it? 
A Thai horror bl tv show that ran for 12 episodes each at 45mins of length. Available to watch on iQiyi. 
Ok but what IS it?
A show about the horror of friendship that has a literal body count, but you can read the official summary here: 
"Eight school friends take a trip to a vacation house in the mountains. It's supposed to be a last sendoff to a friend who's going to study abroad. The farewell has them revisiting old memories and they discover hints there's a ninth person hidden somewhere in the house. Soon, they're contending with life-threatening incidents and realize this is no ordinary farewell; a dreadful party of disaster awaits them."
Shadow
youtube
What is it? 
A Thai tv show that ran for 14 episodes at 45mins of length. Available to watch on VIU and Gaga.
Ok but what IS it?
Nobody does horror like an oppressive Catholic school OR the full summary below: 
"After his father's cancer diagnosis, Dan transferred to an all-boys boarding school. While navigating a new school, he learns about a mysterious student who disappeared last year, all while dealing with his own Shadow that shows up every night during his dreams..."
The Summer Hikaru Died 
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What is it? 
An on-going seinen horror/slice of life manga series available via Yen Press. 
Ok but what IS it?
Small town boy's bestie dies in a hiking accident and an eldritch being walking by says "hey, neat body sir mind if I steal it?" 
Or: 
"It has Hikaru’s face. It has Hikaru’s voice. It even has Hikaru’s memories. But whatever came down from the mountains six months ago isn’t Yoshiki’s best friend. Whatever it is, it’s dangerous. Carrying on at school and hanging out as if nothing has changed—as if Hikaru isn’t gone—would be crazy...but when it looks so very like Hikaru...and acts so very like Hikaru..."
After Sundown 
youtube
What is it? 
A Thai supernatural horror film running at 1hr and 45mins and not currently legally available online. 
Ok but what IS it?
Know those two dudes from Cutie Pie? Zee and NuNew? Of course you do, well they did a ghost horror movie where they fall in love in between being haunted, good for them. 
Or: 
"Set in 1961, Saengrawi Raemsawang lived with Luang Lung Janthakorn until he turns twenty-one and is sent to live at Sitthikornkan Castle in Phra Nakhon. The castle is owned by Phraphloeng, currently living abroad. Heading the words of a sage, Phloeng's parents urge him back to Thailand. About to turn twenty-five, a prophecy requires him to soon find his soulmate to secure his safety; they may not be a woman, nor born in Phra Nakhon. Throughout his stay with Phloeng's family, Rawi is plagued by nightmares and haunted by a spirit. When he begins staying close to Phloeng, however, the spirit is quiet. It soon becomes clear that whatever is haunting the house is focused entirely on Rawi."
Kaleidoscope of Death 
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What is it?
A Chinese horror supernatural web novel, 139 chapters in length with 10 bonus chapters, unofficially translated. 
Ok but what IS it?
Do you know how much it would suck to be stuck in a horror video game? 
Or: 
"It started off peculiarly; first, his domestic cat refused to let him cuddle it.
Lin Qiushi soon found that a sense of disharmony and incongruity began to pervade everything around him.
Then, one odd day, he pushed open a door, and he discovered that the hallway he was familiar with turned into a boundless corridor.
At both ends of this corridor were twelve, identical iron gates.
Thus, the story began.
Ruan Nanzhu said to Lin Qiushi, “When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back.”
Upon hearing this, Lin Qiushi sank into deep contemplation. He then pulled down the zipper of his trousers and aimed at the abyss…
Ruan Nanzhu: “…Put your pants on properly!”
Super shameless, ill, pampered gong X Shameless, calm shou; a combination of double [or extreme] shamelessness."
The Spirealm 
youtube
What is it?
A Chinese horror mystery show based on Kaleidoscope of Death, 78 episodes at 20mins of length. Available on iQiyi and VIU. 
Ok but what IS it?
Once again, do you know how much it would suck to be stuck inside a horror video game? 
Or:
"Ling Jiu Shi finds himself inexplicably thrust inside a mind-bending reality dictated by an enigmatic Virtual Reality game where he must pass twelve doors to escape. The catch? Each door initiates new mysteries to solve and conditions to abide by."
Goddess Bless You from Death 
youtube
What is it?
An upcoming Thai tv show from the same studio that brought you Pit Babe, starring the leads of Pit Babe. No official release date yet. 
Ok but what IS it?
No clue yet, but the vibes are immaculate. 
If you have recommendations drop them below.
You can also listen to our podcast episode on Dead Friend Forever as well! 
51 notes · View notes
skyward-floored · 7 months ago
Note
Hello !! For your IAU requests, either Sky being a good uncle and babysitting the younger Links, or some kind of angst involving Four?
No pressure if you don't want to ! And please remember to take it easy if requests get overwhelming-
Don’t mind me answering this rather late lol, it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to take this! I already did some Four angst, so here’s some Sky babysitting when the kids are all a bit younger :)
————————————————————
“Yes, Sky babysitting!” Wild yelled, jumping on the couch. “Now we can stay up all night!”
Sky watched his nephew bounce around, the rest of his brothers all equally excited as their parents drove away to have a night for themselves for once, and chuckled. Warriors was busy, and Sun was feeling under the weather, so Sky was babysitting all six of his nephews alone.
Which he could handle. For sure.
“Sorry Wild,” Sky apologized, nudging him with a wing to get him to stop bouncing. “No staying up all night I’m afraid. Your parents said bedtime was eight o’clock, sharp.”
“Did they really mean sharp though?” Legend piped up, smiling innocently. “Maybe Mom said ‘shark’. And sharks don’t ever have to go to bed.”
“Never, huh?” Sky said, and Legend hesitated for a second, then nodded confidently.
“Yeah, never.”
“Never ever. They’d just bite anyone who told them to! RAAAWR!” Wild roared, and leapt off the couch and right onto Wind. His little brother yelled in protest, and Sky quickly pulled Wild off, his nephew still making biting noises and chomping his teeth.
“Why don’t we bite some dinner instead?” Sky said, and Wild paused in his biting, looking hopefully up at him.
“Dinner?”
“Yep. How does mac and cheese sound?” Sky asked, and Wild let out an excited whoop.
“YESSSSS! Can I help?” he begged, and Sky nodded.
“Me too!” Wind shouted, and Twilight wagged his tail where he was sitting with Hyrule on the couch.
“You all can help,” Sky said patiently, scooping up Four and heading into the kitchen. “But you’ve got to listen to my instructions, all right?”
“Yessir!” Wild chirped, and zipped over to the cabinets and began pulling out utensils.
Sky chuckled as his siblings followed, and then got to work on dinner.
Mac and cheese wasn’t hard to make, especially with multiple eager helpers, and everything was going fine as the cheese was added and the pot was stirred. There was a minor hiccup when Hyrule almost added twice as many noodles as were needed, but Twilight managed to stop him at the last second, and dinner was finished with no further problems.
All until his nephews realized mac and cheese wasn’t the only thing they were eating for dinner.
“Peas?!” Wind said in dismay, and Sky nodded as he got Four settled in the booster seat they had for his chair.
“Yep. That’s what vegetable your mom left me to cook.“
“But... peas?” Wind repeated, his face screwed up, and Sky raised an eyebrow.
“What’s so bad about peas?” he questioned, and Wind let out a loud blegh noise, face disgusted.
“Peas are gross,” he stressed, crossing his arms with a pout. “They’re are yucky an’ bad.”
“Wind, they’re not so bad, the rest of your siblings are eating them,” Sky chided, and Twilight suddenly squirmed in his seat, looking uncomfortably at his plate.
“Yeah, even Twilight, and he hates peas!” Wild said cheerily, and Twilight sank in his chair a bit.
“If you eat them with the mac and cheese they just taste like cheese,” Hyrule said helpfully, and Wind looked over at his plate, wrinkling his nose at the way Hyrule had mashed everything together.
“That’s yucky. I don’t wanna,” Wind pouted, putting his face on the table.
“I didn’t even give you that many. At least eat some of them Wind,” Sky pleaded, and Wind blew a loud raspberry, making Four laugh. “...Wind.”
“I don’t wanna!”
Sky looked at Wind, and Wind looked at Sky, neither of them willing to back down. The rest of his nephews watched in interest (all except Four who was throwing peas at Legend, much to his chagrin), and finally Sky leaned back in his chair with a casual shrug.
“Well... if you’re not going to eat them, then you’re not going to get dessert,” Sky said, casually folding his wings behind his back. “That’s a pity, too. I brought cupcakes.”
Wild gasped and shook Hyrule excitedly, and Wind narrowed his eyes, tilting his head up to look at Sky.
“...Cupcakes?”
“With blue frosting,” Sky added, and Wild let out an even louder gasp, nearly falling out of his chair.
“Upake!” Four yelled.
Wind pursed his lips, and looked down at the offending vegetable, obviously feeling rather conflicted. Twilight meanwhile, attempted to slip quietly out of his chair while everyone was distracted, his face strangely scrunched.
A wing stuck out and stopped him right as he began to walk away though, and Twilight froze as he looked up at Sky.
“All finished, buddy?” he asked, and Twilight cleared his throat, nodding. “You ate pretty quickly there. Don’t you want more mac and cheese?”
“No, I’m good,” Twilight said quickly, and tried to edge away from his feathers.
“What’s that in your pocket, Twi?” Wild asked loudly, and Twilight cringed, glancing at his bulging pockets.
“It’s... um... it’s just...”
Legend suddenly became visible behind him, and stuck a hand in his pocket, pulling out a handful of peas.
“Ah-HA!”
Twilight jumped, then gave Sky an extremely guilty look when he raised an eyebrow.
“Uh... how about that? I guess some just... fell in there...” he said with a hesitant smile.
Sky jabbed a thumb back at the table, and Twilight slunk back to his seat, more than one of his brothers giggling. Legend looked particularly smug, and Twilight shot him a foul look as he emptied his pockets back onto his plate.
“Okay. I’ll have peas. I’ll only eat some though,” Wind finally decided, and Sky nodded, inwardly relieved. He hadn’t been sure the dessert tactic would work.
“Thank you. How does five spoonfuls sound?”
“Five spoonfuls?!”
Sky sighed.
Dinner took another half hour to finish, Wild and Hyrule eating several more helpings of mac and cheese, Four throwing food, Twilight and Wind slowly eating their peas. Finally all the plates were empty though, and Sky went to grab the plate of cupcakes.
“Sky, can we watch tv and eat them?” Legend asked as he brought them over. “There’s a movie on tonight.”
Sky hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe... what movie is it?”
“Umm, I forget the title. But it’s the one where the guy has a talking hat and has to save the world with mice guys. And stuff,” Legend said helpfully.
“Four likes that one,” Twilight added, and Sky gave in with a little sigh.
“...Okay. But straight to bed afterwards, and you guys have got to use napkins,” he said, and Wild whooped for at least the third time that evening.
The napkins didn’t help a bit of course. Sky’s nephews got crumbs on the floor, crumbs on clothes, crumbs on furniture... not to mention the blue frosting, that Sky was really starting to regret bringing over. It was a very good thing Malon and Time’s couch wasn’t white.
The first hour of the movie was mostly talked over, sugar-fueled arguments and teasing and general chaos that happened whenever they all tried to sit and do something. By the time the sugar buzz finally wore off, Sky’s patience had grown rather thin, and he was exhausted.
Why did I agree to this again? he thought with a sigh, wiping fruitlessly at a smear of frosting on his shirt. There was big smear all over his sleeve, and it would take him ages to get all of the crumbs out of his feathers.
Before Sky could get any further with cleaning himself up (or griping), a hand pushed on his leg, and he looked down to see Four crawl into his lap.
He snuggled up to his chest, and Wind squished up next to him a few moments later, smile a bright blue. Legend noticed what was going on and wormed into the pile as a rabbit, and Hyrule settled himself under one of Sky’s wings, leaning on his shoulder. Finally Twilight and Wild sat themselves under the other, and they all watched quietly as the hero on the tv had a serious conversation with his talking hat.
Sky looked down at them all, sticky and covered in frosting and crumbs, Hyrule nestling tighter under his wing, Four resting his head back on his chest.
Then he sighed and gave them a soft smile, unable to hold on to any annoyance with six kids all snuggled around him.
Right. That’s why.
(...)
Late that evening, Time and Malon came home and found all six of their boys sound asleep in the living room under Sky’s wings, Sky himself snoring with a faint smile on his face.
...and blue frosting.
Lots of blue frosting.
66 notes · View notes
chrisbangsbf · 10 months ago
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Jisung solo (ft. Chan)
Explicit | 900 words
Tags: food play, food fucking, sex toys/fleshlight, masturbation, fantasizing, crack treated seriously, jisung fucks a fleshlight full of mac and cheese and chan is normal about it
twt link | ao3 link
"You're not... actually gonna fuck that, are you?" Chan asks, looking like he has just rolled out of bed even though it's already nearing eight at night.
"With a condom!” Jisung doesn’t hesitate to clarify. “I don't want some weird UTI."
"That's… not what I meant," Chan sighs, exasperated yet fond. He just can't help it with Jisung, that’s his baby. His baby that regularly gives him new grey hairs to worry about, but his baby nonetheless. 
"You can't tell me you aren't curious," Jisung teases, carefully pouring the freshly made sauce in with his noodles. It looks absolutely delicious after mixing everything together, so he takes an experimental bite as he makes eye contact with Chan. Ever the button-pusher.
Chan blinks several times in quick succession, eyeing the pot with what looks like both disgust and curiosity. And he continues to watch as Jisung pointedly hums and sucks the excess cheese from his spoon. 
"Not that curious," the elder chuckles, a little awkward as he gestures toward the clear fleshlight sleeve sitting on the kitchen counter between them. Jisung has no shame, especially at home, and something about that is just… way hotter than it should be.
"Well," Jisung shrugs. "You only live once, hyung," he says wisely, popping the lid off the fleshlight and scooping macaroni into it as if he's doing something as innocuous as folding laundry. Chan wants to pick his brain. And maybe watch this tomfoolery unfold, but that’s another matter entirely. 
"So, that means you should fuck a fleshlight full of pasta just because some ramdom porn star said it felt good?" Chan can't help but laugh. He doesn't really know why he's surprised, to be honest. It's the exact kind of thing he should expect from Jisung after living with him for so many years and having to hear all about his weird sexcapades in explicit detail.
"Why shouldn't I fuck a fleshlight full of pasta to see if it's really as good as people say?" Jisung joins in on the laughter, shaking the toy around to get the noodles distributed as evenly as he can. He seems pretty excited about this. 
Chan shakes his head and takes a bottle of water from the fridge, hovering a few feet away like he isn’t quite sure how to leave. "Well, you go do that.” He makes a step toward the hallway. “I'm gonna be–" he pauses, trying his absolute best to not imagine Jisung's cock squelching as he fucks into this abomination, "uh, somewhere else, doing something totally normal."
“Your loss!” Jisung’s shouts, watching as Chan hurridly slips into his bedroom and closes the door. 
It’s somehow a whole lot goopier than he thought it would be. And he definitely should have let it cool down a little more first before sticking his dick inside, but well. He was too impatient, okay? 
The first few thrusts feel very much like– well, like he’s fucking mac and cheese, honestly. Which he quickly finds to not be such a bad thing. The thick sauce coats his cock immediately and makes the slide pretty pleasant, and the noodles make way for his cockhead easily, opening up and closing back around him with each thrust. 
It’s interesting, really, how good it actually feels. He looks down and watches his length slide in and out of the toy, fascinated by how quickly he thinks he can come from this. Biting his lip, he fucks the toy down his length faster, a little deeper until the noodles are spilling out and making his balls messy. The sound of it is obscene– truly, as they say, like the wettest pussy he can imagine. 
He closes his eyes for a moment, tilting his head back to moan. As much as he enjoys solo play, he can’t help but imagine a certain pair of plush lips wrapped around him instead. Having his hand in a head of curly hair, a tongue there to lick every drop of sauce off his cock, shiny brown eyes looking up at him as he fucks their face and cums thick stripes over their wide nose and dimples. 
Jisung braces himself against the sink, furiously moving the toy up and down until his legs start shaking. Macaroni noodles fall out around him onto the floor, but he couldn’t care less, fucking deep into the mess and coming with the smell of cheese in his nose and his hyung’s name on his lips.
When Jisung walks out of his room later to dump the destroyed mac and cheese out of his fleshlight and into the garbage disposal, he finds Chan back in the kitchen. Sitting at the counter, eating a bowl of cereal. His ears are blood red. 
There’s no way he didn’t hear. 
Smirking, and naked except for his underwear, Jisung leans against the sink and makes eye contact with him. 
Chan looks away quickly and clears his throat, probably half because he’s embarrassed and half because he doesn’t want to choke on his raisin bran. “So, um. How was it?” 
Jisung laughs quietly, stepping right up next to him and stretching both arms above his head. Without looking, he knows Chan glances at his stomach, at his little waist. 
Bending down, mouth next to Chan’s ear, he chuckles, much lower than it had been earlier. “You should have came and watched, hyung. If you were that curious.”
53 notes · View notes
dmercer91 · 2 years ago
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ebug's sister, dm91
taglist, @whenmypartysover
part one / part two /part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten /
blakefriarr_
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liked by elblue6, _quinnhughes and 7,012 others
blakefriarr_: step one: meet lhughes
step two: witness television broadcast in which lhughes score ot winner
step three: fight jhughes for rights to lhughes
view 688 comments..
pinned! blakefriarr_: ellen liked i can die happy
jackhughes: you cannot have my little brother blake
→ blakefriarr_: try and stop me
lhughes_06: i for one think jack should let you take over
→ _quinnhughes: she made you the mac and cheese dish?
→ lhughes_06: quinn now is NOT the time
→ blakefriarr_: cookies too
→ _quinnhughes: i better get cookies
→ jackhughes: this isn't hurtful at all
→ blakefriarr_: i know how to cater to my target audience (picky eaters with bottomless pits for stomachs)
dawson1417: you know what i'm here for
→ blakefriarr_: bro 😭😭😭😭😭 
→ blakefriarr_: i've got, like, car insurance and gas and student loans
→ dawson1417: you also hate your job
→ blakefriarr_: i also hate planes
→ dawson1417: that argument makes no sense you already agreed to come up on your week off
→ blakefriarr_: hear me out
→ dawson1417: eyeballs are listening
→ blakefriarr_: i do the one week like we planned originally
→ dawson1417: right and then you never leave
→ blakefriarr_: incorrect
→ dawson1417: my eyeballs hated that
dawson1417: on another note you looked so pretty when you had jack in a headlock
→ jackhughes: HEY
→ blakefriarr_: thank you i try
nicohischier: this explains why i just found jack face down into my living room carpet
→ blakefriarr_: surely you know how to cheer him up
→ nicohischier: for the last time, jack and i are not dating
→ blakefriarr_: you and i both know this is not the last time, neeks.
ryangraves27: you should come to canada with dawson
→ blakefriarr_: mercer you give gravy his phone back right this instant
→ dawson1417: how’d you know
→ blakefriarr_: for one i could feel the tone of the comment and for another gravy would never want me in the same country as him
jj.friar31: what is my life
→ jj.friar31: what’d you do last night man? oh not much just hung out with my sisters friends (the new jersey devils!) and watched her ko jack hughes like it was nothing
→ blakefriarr_: ahagahheheheg
adamfantilli: am i not enough for you
→ blakefriarr_: you live all the way over there
→ adamfantilli: the betrayal is unreal
→ blakefriarr_: stfu <3 love you
→ adamfantilli: ouch. love you too
dougieham: did you win
→ blakefriarr_: what a dumb question of course i won its jack
_eliaspettersson: if jack doesn’t give you luke could i interest you in another elias pettersson (rookie edition)
→ blakefriarr_: i would be interested in rookie elias pettersson and long lost hughes brother cole mcward if in stock
→ _quinnhughes: you’re not getting cole
→ blakefriarr_: nobody asked you quintin
drayanewman: i have something inappropriate to say
→ blakefriarr_: do elaborate
→ drayanewman: … no
→ lhughes_06: wait no elaborate
→ blakefriarr_: ohhhhhhhhhh i am going to be so annoying about this
view more comments..
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Text
Yelena Belova x Reader Steal Your Heart Part 9
Summary: Yelena struggles to process her growing feelings for you while trying a way to avoid betraying you in the future.
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Three days.
Its been three days since Yelena untangled herself from your body to crawl out of bed, and disappear into the night. Her phone started buzzing the next morning around eight. She already knew without a doubt it was you asking about her whereabouts. You probably assumed she slipped out to go get breakfast or something. But after an hour went by without her replying your texts were more frequent, and grew a bit more urgent.
She should've saw it coming after all it was the morning after the two of you had just confessed your love for each other. The night before after she rescued you from getting captured, and helped you complete one of the most important jobs in your career as a thief. Of course you weren't just going to let her slip away so easily.
The last thing Yelena wanted to do was up and leave you in the dark. But not too long after the two of you fell asleep in each other's arms. The blonde assassin was ripped from her peaceful slumber in a cold sweat, and a number of emotions swirling around in her heart to the point. Where it overwhelmed her so much Yelena felt like she was being suffocated by them. Being next to you brought her no comfort as she was pretty sure. You were the very thing causing the hurricane going inside of her.
So she did the only thing that came to mind. Yelena ran not even stopping one second to think about. How bad it would make her look in your eyes. Would you assume she went back to report to Valentina? While you might've let yourself fall her no doubt her connection with the woman made you proceed with caution.
Yelena planned to resolve these conflicting feelings in a matter of one day, but one turned into three and now she felt like she had dug herself into a hole. That would be impossible to get out of alone, and with limited options of people to turn too. She went to the only other person in New York City. Who she knew she could trust and might be able to help her.
Kate Bishop.
"So you're in love with her" Kate said repeating the very last words of the story. Yelena had spent the past two hours telling her over breakfast. She just needed to confirm she had really heard those words leave the blonde's mouth.
Yelena nodded sticking a forkful of waffles in her mouth.
"This is great."
"This is horrible."
Both statements were made at the same time, and the two friends stared each other down afterwards. Kate spoke up first "how is this a bad thing Yelena."
"I've never been in a real relationship before Kate, and the first time I find myself in love with someone. She's a target I've been hired to gain information on."
"Okay so this is confusing and I'll help you figure it out. How about that?" Kate suggested.
"There's nothing confusing about it I'm never going to see her again. Problem solved" Yelena said taking another massive bite of her food.
Kate closed her eyes and exhaled a deep breath. Keep your cool and stay patience she reminded herself. Kate knew this was going to be a rollercoaster the second Yelena broke into her apartment three days ago crying about her future broken heart. The assassin had already made up her mind about how all of this was going to end. She was just looking for someone to tell her she was doing the right thing.
"Do you really think y/n is just going to let you disappear from her life? Kate challenged her plan.
Yelena shrugged. "I don't see how she's going to stop me."
"Well from what you told me the girl is one hell of a tracker if you continue to ghost her. Then she'll probably put those skills to good use again to find you."
Her munching on the mac and cheese slowed down as Yelena went into deep thought about her plan. You were an infamous thief and she got to see your work first hand. When the two of went head to head with each other twice. And she was impressed considering she had never seen nor did she think. It was possible for someone to get the drop on Valentina the way you did. No doubt if you wanted to you could turn those skills around on her. If you needed to, but on the other hand Yelena trusted her abilities as a master spy. As long as she didn't leave behind any bread crumbs for you to follow. It would might be difficult, but not impossible to disappear without being able to follow her trail. She could leave behind false clues to lead you astray if need be.
The only card you could play that might work a hundred precent without fail is going to Valentina for info. On her whereabouts the woman would sell out. In a blink of an eye to get you under her thumb, but you wouldn't go that far for her would you? Your freedom was everything to you, and you were so close to your big endgame plan.
Yelena turned the scenario around onto herself coming to the realization. The main reason she chose to distant herself from you for these past couple of days was, because she wanted time to figure a way out of this mission. Before you shared something sacred with her, and she'd be forced to betray you. She chose to come to Kate for advice, over going straight to Valentina to cancel the mission.
Because deep down she knew Valentina wasn't going to make it easy by a long-shot, and Yelena didn't like to think about what she would do. When the powerful woman turned her request down, or worse decided to just send someone else after you. She'd break them in half without thinking about it. Yelena was at the point where she would do anything for you.
Have you fallen this hard for her to?
"I hate to say it but I think you're right." Yelena murmured swallowing the food in her mouth afterwards. She shoved the plate with a small portion of food left away, and proceeded to drop her head onto the table. The action resulted in harsh bang making Kate wince. The blonde seemed unfazed.
"Yelena come on at least you already she feels the same about you. The hard part is over with everything else that happens now is going to be easy." Kate said trying to reassure her friend.
"Don't lie to me I know enough about relationships to know none of them are easy. They're as fragile as glass very easy to break you mean? Yelena shot back not lifting her head from the table.
Kate chose her next words carefully. "Relationships require a lot of work and attention yes, but they're only as hard as you make them. You're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be."
"You don't get it" Yelena whined.
"Then explain it."
"She was just supposed to be a mission nothing more. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with her now I'm screwed when she finds out" Yelena blurted out jumping out of her seat to wonder over to the sink to stare out of the windows. Her eyes glaring into the early morning sky as the sun just began to rise.
Kate's response didn't come fast this time as she contemplated the truth bomb Yelena just dropped on her. She now understood why the blonde ran away from her feelings. "What kind of mission?" she asked trying to gauge the situation.
"Valentina wanted me to get closer to her and make her trust me, so she'd let her guard down enough to maybe tell me all her secrets. Give me something that could be used as leverage against her, so Val could force her to join her ranks." Yelena felt more disgusted with herself as she recounted her duties. She never should've agreed to this. It made her remember the reason why she promised herself she was done with seducing and manipulating after the Red Room was taken down. It never felt good inside instead it made her like more than a crappy person.
"Wait Valentina as in the woman who hired you to kill Clint two years ago?" Kate asked with a frown.
Yelena cursed under her breath as the tone in the archer's voice gave away. She wasn't truly asking but looking for confirmation. "Yes."
"You told me you were done with her Yelena. She lied to you about Clint, and caused you to nearly kill your sister's best friend." Kate exclaimed standing up to throw an accusatory finger at the blonde.
Yelena turned around to face her fuming best friend with nonchalant attitude. "I lied sorry Katie but I knew you would freak, and get all in your feelings about me still working for her. As for the Clint situation we had a nice long chat about the incident." She shrugged her shoulders when Kate raised a suspicious eyebrow at her claim. "She knows not to do it again."
"Then why not just back out of this mission? Has she paid you already?"
Valentina had wanted to send her payment at the start of this mission, and not just because Yelena was just that good. She suspected the payment was going to be a way to seal the deal permanently. Just in case Yelena woke up with a conscious one day and wanted out. So she turned the money down.
"No but if I back out she'll just send someone else to recruit y/n." Yelena said not revealing her true fears. The next person Valentina sent might not be as nice or patient as her. And she already had one falling out with the woman over the Clint situation. The nice long chat was more like Yelena putting over a dozen agents in the hospital. In her haste to get to the dark-haired woman while she was hosting a quite important meeting. None of that mattered to Yelena as she barged in making a beeline for Valentina to shove her down onto the table. Once reaching her and putting a blade to her throat to drive her point home. She wouldn't be played or toyed with anymore.
If it came down to you she might finish the job this time especially to keep you from finding out the truth. Anything to hide her lies.
"You need to come clean with her then" Kate said.
"What? You're joking right?"
Kate shook her head crossing her arms over her chest, and fixed Yelena with a hard stare. "If you can't back out this mission then the truth is going to come out either way. You need it to be on your terms, so you can explain."
The image of you standing a few feet away bristling with a newfound hatred for her, and betrayal in your eyes flashed in her mind. No amount of explaining would get through to you. The trust and bond built between the two of you would crumble just like that.
"She'd hate me" Yelena insisted.
"That's a risk you need to take Yelena because it's the only way. The truth will set you free you know."
A Few Hours Later
After spending another hour or so going back and forth with Kate, because the archer continued to stand her ground. On the truth being the only choice to get out of this mess.
"I'll lose her" Yelena argued.
"Well if she finds out you're lying you'll lose her anyway. Take the chance and be honest with her. You never know she might surprise you."
Kate left her to marinate on those words and Yelena decided it was time for her to return. Before you got too worried or suspicious leading to you taking upon yourself to search for her. She found you grabbing coffee and donuts at your favorite bakery that surprisingly wasn't a Starbucks. You told her the famous coffee chain was overrated and not worth the money. Before introducing her to this one smaller and less known place. She fell in love with it.
"I hope one of those are for me" Yelena said to get your attention.
You were exiting the bakery with a steaming hot cup of mocha in one hand, and a large white bag filled with donuts in the other. A glazed donut stuffed into your mouth your head swiveled in the direction of the familiar voice. There she was your maybe girlfriend Yelena Belova leaning up against the wall dressed in more casual clothes than her usual stylish ones.
"Yelena you're back" You tried to say but your voice was muffled considering the donut.
"Don't talk with your mouth full" she chastised you with a playful grin. Pushing off the wall to walk over and plant a kiss on your forehead. Her hand reaching in the bag and her eyes lit up with glee when she pulled out a chocolate icing donut with sprinkles. Her favorite even when she wasn't around. You still thought about her.
"I always get two just in case" You told now that the donut was devoured. "Come on I know a place we can talk."
It wasn't up for discussion no matter which way she spun it. Yelena had disappeared for days without giving you any type of heads-up. When you left for your mission you gave her a courtesy heads up. She owed you answers.
The spot came to no surprise to her. The same rooftop where the two of you spent the night talking and watching the sun come up. As you waited for the heat to die down after the museum robbery. "No one ever comes up here" You told her digging a blanket out of nowhere.
The two of you settled on it with the bag of donuts, and you didn't even bother to protest when she helped herself to your drink. It was a jumbo size another reason you loved the smaller bakery.
"So I guess I freaked you out huh? Yelena mused knowing you weren't going to tiptoe around the elephant in the room forever.
You nodded. "At first I figured Valentina sent you on a mission or something considering. You're still employed to her and everything." Your voice dropping low with a hint of anger in it when her name left your mouth. You clocked the way Yelena looked away in shame or guilt. It was hard to tell but you figured it stemmed from the fact that. At one point she was trying to get you join up with the woman against your will.
You decided to brush it off since that was the past, and none of it mattered anymore. "But then I realized if that was the case you would've left a note explaining, or at least texted me back you know. Then I figured you needed time and space to process us." You wagged a finger between the two of you.
You were spot on but part of her wished your mind was capable of digging so much deeper to unveil all her dirty secrets. To spare her having to tell them to you out of her own mouth.
"This is new to me and when I woke up that night with you in my arms. It was so different than all those other times I looked at you, and it was like I was really seeing you for the first time. My emotions were everywhere. It was just too much so I ran" Yelena explained drawing figures in the blanket with her finger. Eyes refusing to make contact with yours.
"Oh Yel" You whispered scooting over so your shoulder bumped into hers. That was all you did letting her choose rather or not to initiate any other physical touch. "I knew this was going to be a challenge from day one. I'm okay with that you're worth it I'd risk it all to be with you."
Her head snapped towards your so fast her eyes glistening with tears. She didn't realize it till they started to spill out. "I've never had a real relationship before. Any resemblance to a real relationship I've been in my life was a lie. This the first time I've had a real one, and I'm afraid of screwing it up."
You chuckled throwing your head back with a grin. She frowned but it morphed into a smile when your forehead pushed up against hers. "I'm not expert at this either I just know what I want, and I'm willing to take the time to figure this out. Even if it means taking things slow till we're both comfortable."
"You're really okay with that" Yelena questioned in disbelief.
"Yes I'm all in flaws and all you're stuck with me now Belova. Once I let someone in that's it." You replied bumping your nose into hers.
Tell her the truth. Tell her right now. Its now or never.
In the end instead of following Kate's advice Yelena did the complete opposite. As you were pulling back a hand caught you by the chin. Her grip was firm but gentle and she brought your face back to hers guiding your lips to meet hers in slow and passionate kiss. You followed her pace letting her lead how far this would go. One of your hands cradling the side of her face.
Yelena let herself get lost in the feeling of your lips moving in sync with hers, basking in all the emotions. That came flaring up inside her but the difference this time was she had no intention on running. She was now sure of the lengths you'd go to for her, and wanted to enjoy while it lasted. The truth can wait a little bit longer.
Two Days Later
"I know you're not a fan of my profession, but I'm not going to college." Yelena said leaning back into the car.
You let out a burst of laughter and her lips quirked upward, but she resisted the urge to smile. "I'm a professional thief Yelena I have no room to judge your how you make your living. A dishonest has gotten both of us farther in life than a honest one would've. I just don't like your employer.
"Then why are we here?" She gestured to the college right across the street from where you had her parked.
"I brought you here to meet someone." You revealed pausing when the double doors were pushed open, and a bunch of college students came pouring out. Your eyes scanned the crowd for one familiar face in particular.
A wave of nervousness washed over Yelena as her bright green eyes followed your line of sight once it honed on the target . A warm smile forming on your face as you relaxed. It was a boy slightly younger than both of you around Kate's age. She focused on his features looking for the telltale signs to confirm her suspicions. But you beat her to the punch.
"He's my baby brother."
Tag List: @danveration @yelenabelovasgf @xxromanoffxx @emril-osvigne @be-missed @natashasilverfox @yelena-beloved @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @catswag22 @here4thegayships @jeyramarie @wh0reforwanda @supercorpdanbeau @chloe7076 @ohmy-godyes @lizlil @musicinourlips
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byanyan · 5 months ago
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"One." She counted, tugging gently on their index finger. Lena hummed gently, watching the upset team with caring eyes, before moving to their middle finger. "Two." She continued the process, letting them process as loudly or painfully as they needed, working her way down each finger until she got to their thumb. "Twenty."
ㅤit wasn't often that they let themself cry in front of lena.
it was even less often that they let themself completely break down in front of her.
the week had been a long one, full of awful surprise on top of awful surprise, from hearing word that they'd officially be removed from the group home at the end of the school year regardless of whether they found themself someplace new to live or not, to crossing paths with an old, abusive foster mother who somehow managed to be worse to them than ever despite them being long out of her care. they hadn't been able to catch a break, old traumas and miserable memories forcibly dredged up against their will in moments they least expected it... and it had all come to a head tonight, when they'd shown up to lena's place seeking refuge from the world only to be jumped by a deeply buried memory when faced with a simple bowl of mac 'n cheese.
it had taken them back to being five years old again, unwanted and alone and all too aware of both of those facts, left to wonder what was wrong with them, what it was that they'd done that was so wrong as to not be allowed to go home.
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lena's presence in front of them didn't register until about the time she was counting to four with a gentle pull on their little finger. they were too busy curling in on themself, trying to hide their pain (or perhaps it was a weak attempt to hide from it) despite the way their unwilling sobs wracked their entire form.
five, she said, and they felt her fingers on their thumb as they shoved their face deeper into the crook of their elbow like they might just be able to disappear if they tried hard enough.
six. byan shuffled, battling against the urge to lash out like a cornered animal, despising this feeling of vulnerability despite knowing that lena wouldn't take advantage of it. it was too much like being a child again, so full of all those intense emotions that they didn't know where to put or what to do with, bottling it all up until it came out in an uncontrollable fit of rage and misunderstood violence.
seven. a shout tore from their throat, sharp and raw and full of agony. no words to it, just pure emotion being expelled because it had to come out somewhere. this was better than accidentally hurting lena, if also more embarrassing.
eight. another yell, this one sounding vaguely like a question, almost like a pained why? it broke off into another stream of noisy sobs and sniffling, and they could feel their tears now soaking through the thick fabric of their hoodie's sleeve.
by the time lena reached twelve, the teen had quietened down considerably. tears still stung their eyes and soaked their sweater, and their breathing would break off into stilted hiccoughs and sniffles every now and then, but the very worst of it seemed to have passed, at least for now.
ㅤㅤ" 'm sorry, "ㅤthey mumbled somewhere around sixteen, voice quiet and hoarse and uncharacteristically timid. sorry for what, they didn't clarify; for not being able to contain themself, maybe. for being a burden, almost certainly. out of habit for those occasions, which were much rarer in these last few years, where they'd feel guilt for emotional outbursts that they couldn't control getting the better of them in front of another... perhaps.
lena would surely tell them not to worry about it, but it still felt unfair to put it all on her like this, to ruin her night over their own bullshit without even explaining what the problem was. it still felt pathetic to break down over fucking macaroni and cheese.
nineteen came and went without another word, but a deep breath was drawn in sometime after it, held for four seconds before being released. byan's face was still hidden behind their arm and beneath messy bangs which had grown much too long, and a quiet tremble still shook their body, still caused the air to waver as it left their lungs, but they seemed a bit more calm now. unsteady, yes; still teetering on that edge of breaking back down into tears, absolutely; but calmer nonetheless.
ㅤㅤ" 'm sorry. "ㅤthe apology was spoken again, just as muffled as before yet somehow meeker. what else was their to say? another slow breath, in and out, and lena murmured twenty with a soft tug on their thumb.ㅤ" 'm sorry, i shouldn't've... i mean, i shoulda— "ㅤwords were cut short abruptly and a hand clenched tight for a moment, almost as if in hesitation, before reaching out blindly in search of lena's sleeve, or even her arm or hand. just... something to hold on to. something to keep them grounded.
ㅤㅤ" —'m sorry. "
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ofjoeys · 2 years ago
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* — did you see JOHANNA ‘JOEY’ PAREDES at the party last night? the DJ/BARTENDER has been apart of the squad for SEVEN YEARS and i’ve heard they were the MISCREANT of the group. in my experience they’ve always been VEHEMENT, but i’ve heard they can be IRREVERENT. they remind me so much of alcohol-filled adventures, noise cancelling headphones on at all times, a perfectly curated playlist for every moodlet/situation in life, 90′s grunge fashion.
biography    connections   pinterest   playlist
STATS
full name: johanna alejandra paredes colosio
gender and pronouns: genderqueer, they/she
date of birth: june 6th, 1996.
fc: lizeth selene
place of birth: acapulco guerrero, mexico
current location: oceanview, ca.
nicknames: jo, joey, jojo, mojo jojo.
age: twenty-six
sexuality: queer
nationality/ethnicity: mexican-american/latine
languages spoken: english, spanish, portuguese.
occupation: dj/bartender
instruments played: drums, guitar, piano, bass, violin, harp, french horn, sax, marimba, ukelele, harp, accordion, harmonica, guiro.
tattoos: pink lotuses on her right shoulder blade, a set of headphones on her right wrist, equalizer bars on her mid-lower back, a set of rainbow dots on her right forearm, the word angel on her abs with two cherubs on each ribcage, a siren on her right arm, butterflies on her right forearm, flowers on her left forearm, ‘power’ on her right hand, ‘thankful blessed’, musical notes on various fingers, an eye on her left wrist, a flower on her left leg, the word angel on her left shoulder.
piercings: nose, septum and helix, used to have both her eyebrow and her tongue pierced but she got them both off and have heal since.
zodiac sign: gemini ☼ scorpio ☾ cancer ↑
label: the miscreant
pos traits: vehement, open-minded, energetic, quick-witted, adaptable
neg traits: irreverent, obstinate, sarcastic, cynical, impulsive, devious
myer’s briggs type: isfp
enneagram type: seven with eight wing: “the enthusiast.”
likes: music, art, partying, road trips, drugs, flirting with girls.
dislikes: being alone, being confined, repetition and routine.
hobbies: music, all the way. johanna lives and breathes music, traveling and meeting new people.
favorite color: purple, red and black.
favorite food: lobster mac & cheese.
allergies: peanuts, oranges.
right or left-handed?: left-handed.
parents: ricardo paredes (deceased), ana claudia paredes (storebroker, economist)
siblings: 6 in total, all residing in new york and jo was minimal contact with most of them.
BULLET POINTS (𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝗂𝗈 soon)
tw: substance abuse, abuse, death mention
joey was born in acapulco, mexico when their parents were visiting their mother’s family. it was a complicated birth and the family had to stay in the coast for around six months before moving to ny, where they resided
there is a total of seven paredes siblings, jo is the sixth in line
their family is… well accommodated in the new york social circle. their mom is a socialite daughter of a former mexican president and has made a name for herself in wallstreet (think jordan belfort) and their dad was a professor at columbia
joey was the black sheep of their family for a very young age, they were the polar opposite to the paredes', but had to play the part as one of the clan while living under their roof
they DID live a double life while in new york, whatosever. a pseudio socialite, golden child on one side and a rebel anarchist on the other.
they began abusing substances at a VERY young age, due to the people they had in their circle and their inability to handle stuff and feelings
almost got married, once. they broke off the engagement days before the big day after a big fight with their ex turned sour and yeah, they bounced
their father died when they were 21 which prompted them to finally leave ny and escape their family— which ultimately brought them to oceanview. they got themselves a job as a bartender at some local pub and slowly build themselves a career as a local dj— yet their dream is to one day become a music producer
PERSONALITY
they have a hard time letting people in? they are chill, will joke with you for hours and do their best to make you laugh, but actually connecting with people is hard for her bc trust issues.
lowkey has an alcohol & drugs dependency problem but won’t accept it because it’s the only way they can handle their life, rlly is trying to get it together and be LESS OF A MESS
is really a hot mess™ with a decent heart who just wants to start over and be themselves for the first time in their life and meet people and make people smile and have fun, for the most part means well ( unless she doesn’t like you then lol gl ) but feelings and things just… can’t. do. human. things.
hates the way they are. lowkey tho, lowkey. likes to pretend she is a robot and doesn’t feel anything but lmao who u playin’ she feels everything just doesn’t let people see that because caring is weakness
also ALSO their sexuality is… complicated? i’d describe it as pan? except she is v picky when it comes to men? like, hasn’t been attracted to men in years but with the right guy it could happen????? when it comes to girls tho???? 100% has a crush on 20 girls at the same time ngl and they are FLIRTY.
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elisela · 2 years ago
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you’re my only hope sterek, 1k, thanksgiving fluff
--
“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”
“Derek!” Stiles says, looking frantically around the kitchen, phone shoved between his ear and shoulder. “I know that usually you’re supposed to thaw the turkey for days but last night I was nominated as the place to go for everyone who didn’t have a place to go and all the store had was a fifteen pound frozen solid turkey and I’ve left it out since I bought it but the damn thing is still frozen solid and I’m supposed to serve it in four hours. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
The wooden spoon he’d been looking for is balanced on the open refrigerator door. He snatches it up and spins to stir the gravy, the only thing he could think to make ahead of time that Lydia won’t kill him for nuking in the microwave right before dinner.
“You can cook it from frozen. It’ll take longer, about five hours, but serve some drinks and your friends will be fine waiting.”
Stiles looks at the compound butter he’d gotten—he can read recipes, thank you, he’s just in a panic—and frowns. “What am I supposed to do about, you know, seasoning?”
“Pull it after two hours and season it then. You’ll have to baste it, but you’ll be okay.”
“Great,” Stiles says, then curses when he realizes he’d laid his dish towel too close to the burner and it’s smoking. “Thanks!”
-----
“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”
“This isn’t a turkey question, is that okay?”
The voice that comes through the line sounds almost amused. “We’re here to answer all of your Thanksgiving dinner related questions.”
Stiles taps the pie pan on the counter. He’s unsure if it’s necessary, but he’s seen people do it to regular cakes on YouTube, so why not? “Dangerous,” he says, “because I have a lot of questions. Like—why? How is this the thing you want to spend your time doing on your holiday? What are your qualifications, anyway? Because for all I know you could be making shit up, but I have to admit the turkey is no longer frozen solid under your possibly-sound advice. Which leads me to: can I bake a cheesecake at the same time as a turkey? The oven’s at 375 if that makes a difference.”
“If that—you shouldn’t be cooking your turkey at 375!”
Derek sounds affronted, and Stiles would find that cute—at least he finds his semi-outraged voice cute because for God’s sake, it’s a turkey—but he doesn’t have the time. “The cheesecake, Derek. Can I do the cheesecake at the same time?”
“Not unless you’re good with soggy turkey skin. The steam from the water bath will affect it too much.”
Stiles frowns. “Yeah, the … water bath,” he says, and hopes it doesn’t sound like he has no idea what he’s doing. “What if I don’t mind soggy turkey skin?”
“You mind soggy turkey skin,” Derek says firmly, and Stiles laughs.
----
“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”
“Seriously, you’ve been at this for three hours,” Stiles says, because he had fully expected to get someone else on the line. Unless Derek is the sole employee—volunteer? He has no clue—he should have gotten someone else by now.
“Try eight,” Derek says. “Please tell me you turned the turkey down.”
“I’d feel bad lying to you,” Stiles says, grinning. “So it turns out I forgot the rolls, and I have a box of pancake mix but it says I need eggs, which I don’t have because I used them all in the cheesecake. Help me, Obi Wan, you’re my only hope.”
There’s a pause, and Stiles has a moment to hope he hasn’t broken Derek’s brain before he finally replied. “Oh, you’re thinking about making biscuits.”
“That’s what I said,” Stiles says, poking at the cheese sauce for his hopefully tolerable mac and cheese.
“You did not, but you don’t need eggs. Or pancake mix. Google a recipe for drop biscuits and so help me do not bake them at the same time as the turkey.”
“Aww, you know me so well, boo,” Stiles coos, and flips off the burner. “Why do you do this, anyway?”
“So people like you don’t give your friends and family food poisoning,” Derek says. “You’re safe, by the way, if you keep roasting the turkey at 375. It’ll be charred.”
“Drama queen,” Stiles mutters, and then puts his foot in his mouth by asking, “you’re not too busy cooking your own dinner?”
“My family’s across the country,” Derek says after just a moment. “My sister usually made dinner for us and her friends, but she just got married so she’s with his family.”
“Sucks, dude,” Stiles says, cursing when the doorbell rings. “Gotta go. Hopefully Scotty brought the alcohol or I’m gonna have a riot when they learn the food’s not ready. Thanks again.”
He hangs up, pauses, and calls right back.
“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”
“Derek,” Stiles says, “you should come over here. We’ve got plenty of food. Some of it even edible, thanks to you.” He gives him his address before he loses his nerve, adds in a few key landmarks he’s near just in case, and hangs up before Derek can respond.
---
Lydia looks at him suspiciously when the bell rings, glancing around the room like she’s mentally counting the people in it and wondering who the hell else Stiles knows that’s not currently in the room, which, rude, but he’ll deal with that later.
Or not. He probably won’t bring it up at all, because she would have been right if he hadn’t been calling the turkey helpline all day, and he doesn’t want to get into it.
For now he sidesteps Scott, who had been helpfully on his way to the door, straightens his shirt, and flings it open.
Holy good Jesus.
He probably gapes—not his most attractive look, but he can’t be blamed when the man standing on his front porch is the literal definition of perfection. “Hi,” he manages to say, “Derek?”
It’s probably not Derek. It’s probably Jackson’s new boyfriend checking up on him, or a neighbor ready to yell at him for taking up so many parking spaces with his guest’s cars, or—
“I never caught your name,” the man says, and it’s Derek’s voice, it’s Derek, and Stiles is still standing like an idiot half-hanging out the door.
“Stiles,” he says, and waves a hand automatically to brush off the inevitable question. “I’m glad you came. Come in, come in.”
Derek’s shrugging out of his leather jacket, and if Stiles wasn’t already formulating ideas to make Derek fall in love with him, he certainly is the moment it comes off and reveals a soft looking maroon sweater underneath it. “Well, you said I was your only hope. Come on, Skywalker, show me your kitchen.”
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lovelytsunoda · 2 years ago
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payphone // dennis hauger
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summary: it's not easy dating a formula 2 driver, especially when you're trying to balance that with your first year of college and he's halfway across the world.
if happily ever afters did exist, i would still be holding you like this. all the fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song and i'll be sick
pairing: dennis hauger x female reader
warnings: anxiety and burnout, stress. dennis being the best boyfriend anybody could possibly ask for. he's also a little cheeky.
authors notes: not sure if I love the way this ended but I love this idea and kinda ran with it…could do a part two if I really wanted to like I still have so much to say
the apartment door slammed shut behind her as she ran immediately to her room, exhausted and ignoring her two roommates: one was in the kitchen attempting not to burn the mac and cheese, and the other was watching the leafs game on the large television.
wiping her eyes, y/n y/l/n placed her backpack on the floor before flopping down on the bed, rolling over and staring at the bland ceiling.
it had been the longest day of her life.
she had been awake since six in the morning, in classes from eight am until well after noon, and she was so tired that she couldn;t work out if she had actually paid enough attention because her mind kept wandering, her fingers hovering over the buttons for the f2 website, attempting to follow the race and her classes at the same time.
sometimes, she felt like a really shitty girlfriend, especially when she was so busy with school that she couldn't drop everything and follow dennis halfway around the world, no matter how much she wanted to.
and she missed him like hell.
they were both still so young, and neither of them deserved to have this much pressure on their relationship so early. they were just kids.
she sat up, hair messy and eyes bleary, reaching into her backpack for her cell phone. the one person that she needed right now was a million miles away, even though the f2 season was pretty much over after felipe drugovich took the title in monza. the final race was in abu dhabi, time zones and dial tones away.
y/n was lucky, she had been able to follow dennis for the portion of the season that took place over her summer break, directly following her high school graduation. dennis had been there to see her walk across the stage, and she would always remember the stink eye that her father gave the young driver just before the two teenagers boarded prema's private plane to fly out to silverstone, and she had stayed with him through to spielberg before she needed to fly home, preparing the final small details before she was due to move out for college.
she loved the people dennis worked with, found them easy to get along with. clement novalak would often send her memes in the middle of the day, whatever time zone he was in, for the sole purpose of making sure that she remembered to smile.
the phone rang three times before dennis picked up, hair messy and bags under his eyes. he looked like he had just woken up, and the husky yet slurred tone of voice confirmed it.
she had forgotten there was a massive time difference between abu dhabi and toronto.
even though it was four thirty where she was, it would have been past midnight where he was, and with it being the night before a feature race, dennis would need all the sleep that he could get. she instantly felt bad, the emotion overwhelming her as she began to cry again.
"princess, what's wrong? is everything okay."
"i miss you so much." she managed to say, wiping her eyes. "i've been awake since six in the morning, and i have so much fucking work to do tonight that i probably wont get to sleep until about one in the morning even though i've been in the library working almost non stop since class ended. i've barely had a chance to eat today and i feel like a fucking shitty girlfriend for not being in abu dhabi with you."
she could hear fabric rustling on the other end as dennis sat up in bed, readjusting the camera. the t-shirt he had worn to bed was one that he bought when they both went to manchester, something with a shitty manchester saying on it that he had bought because he thought that it was funny.
she missed being in dennis' arms, breathing in his woodsy scent. she missed his arms around her waist while she tried to make dinner, playing with the rings on his fingers while he held her.
"baby, it's going to be okay. i'll be home in a few days, and i'll come straight there, okay? the guys will understand why i can;t go out and party with them, i can get an earlier flight."
"i don't want to be a burden, dennis. go out with your friends. i can wait another seventy-two hours."
it killed dennis to hear her like that, the pure defeat in her voice. she looked exhausted, and he wondered if there was something she wasn't telling him, if her anxiety was getting bad again.
"baby, you need to eat something. what do you want for dinner, let me order you something."
"you're going to uber eats me dinner from the emirates?"
"done. i've ordered greek straight to the building. it'll be there in twenty minutes."
her stomach clenched. even from the other side of the world, dennis was truly the perfect person. her person. and letting him go chase his dreams sometimes hurt more than it should have. "i miss you."
"i know, princess. i miss you too. make sure you eat something and get some rest, okay? class can wait, but you should come first."
"i know. call me when your flight lands."
"always."
"alice and i will be watching tomorrow. thea as well, if she doesn't have work. get some rest, you can't be tired tomorrow if you're gonna get in that car."
dennis laughed. "i'll call you before the race, yeah?"
"always. good luck, darling."
"luck doesn't matter. felipe's won already."
she chuckled, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "tell the guys i say hello, yeah? i love you, dennis."
"i love you too, y/n."
_______________
it was dark outside, candles on the coffee table as y/n and alice sat on the ikea couch, clutching each other’s hand as the race was in full swing on the large television. thea had come home from her overnight shift at tims. she was still wearing her work shirt when she joined her two roommates on the couch.
“who’s winning?”
“pourchaire. felipe is right behind him. dennis is firmly in p5.”
“so you’ve met most of these guys, right.” alice raised her eyebrows, flipping her dyed hair out of her face. “who’s fuckable?”
“jesus christ, al!” y/n cackled “well, dennis is extraordinarily fuckable, and it’s an activity I have taken part in multiple times before-“
“okay, we get it!” thea cut her off. “she means ‘is felipe drugovich single.”
alice gaped “no need to attack me like that!”
all three girls burst out into laughter, y/n momentarily forgetting the pain of not being by dennis’ side, all the stress that she was shouldering on her own.
and when the love of her life crossed the line in third place, his final podium finish of the season, all three girls jumped around the living room and cheering, arms around each other.
quick as a razor she grabbed her phone, taking a video of the celebrations before sending it to dennis.
“I’m proud of you, baby.” she said into the camera. “get home safe, hauger.”
_______________
abu dhabi
“dennis mate, don’t be a buzzkill.” jack doohan laughs, sitting on the hood of his renault. “that’s p3 mate, you need to celebrate somehow.”
“I changed my flights, I’m heading home in like, three hours. I really can’t stay.” dennis insisted, digging around in his duffle bag for his keys.
the f1 season had concluded, each of the f2 boys watching from the paddock club balcony, beers in hand as sebastian vettel crossed the line in yas marina for the last time.
half an hour later, they were in the parking lot, signing autographs and talking about the after party. felipe already had one girl on each arm, and two following him out of the paddock, enamoured with the f2 champion.
“I don’t know about you guys, but instead of getting hammered and downright wasted to the point where we’re all acting like clem, I’d like to be on a plane to toronto so I can hug my girlfriend again.”
liam lawson pretended to gag as marcus armstrong clapped the prema driver in the shoulder. “when did you become the romantic one?”
“fuck you, lawson.” dennis chuckled, unlocking his porsche. “I’ll tell her you said hi, yeah?”
“give her my best. you’re a good man, hauger.” marcus gave him a mock salute. “tell her she’s welcome on screaming meals whenever.”
“fat chance, marcus. now get away from my car before you get yourself run over.”
“does she know you’re coming back early?” clement novalak asked, his usual dazed expression on his face. “don’t give her a heart attack or anything.”
clement knew what y/n was like, the anxiety coursing through her veins. though he could come across as an airhead, clem was a very perceptive person, and it didn’t take him long to figure out that y/n was just putting on a front, the worries that were behind her eyes. that was why he texted her all the time, making sure that she remembered to smile while dennis did all of the doting boyfriend bullshit.
he also knew that y/n hated it when dennis would put her needs above his own, opting to stay in on nights out and spend time with her, curled up next to her in bed while she read her book, or laughin as they both fumbled in the hotel kitchen trying to make a proper dinner. y/n didn’t want people thinking she was a burden, and worried what the other drivers would think of her if dennis kept offering to stay with her instead of going out with the boys.
“I called alice, one of the roommates. she knows and she’s gonna let me into the building and whatever while y/n is at class. I’ll be there when she comes back.”
“lovesick fool.” jehan daruvula snickered. “I’m surprised fucking clem hasn’t said anything yet.”
"make sure she's taking care of herself. you know how she can get when it's bad." felipe said softly. "make sure she knows she's loved."
it. almost as if nobody wanted to mention y/n's one drastic flaw: her overthinking and sometimes needy nature. she couldn't help it, and dennis didn't mind. he just wished that the love of his life could feel more comfortable with her own mind and emotions.
dennis smiled, pulling out his phone. “guys, say hi to y/n. I’ll send her the video just before I get on the plane, she’s never gonna see it coming.”
the f2 grid crammed themselves into the camera frame, waving at the camera after dennis pressed record, clem even going as far as blowing joking kisses at the camera before dennis ruffled his hair, pushing clems head back and forth.
“love you, princess. I’ll be home soon.”
_______________
dennis ahuger had spent almost thirteen hours on a plane coming from abu dhabi and he still insisted on driving himself to the housing building, which was another forty five minutes from pearson international.
it was just after ten am, and y/n was already in her first class of the day. thea was at work for the morning, her first classes starting at noon, and alice was at home for her treasured day off.
"you want me to park a porsche in a parking garage that's twenty minutes from a college campus? alice, you understand that my car costs more than a years worth of tuition, right? and you want me to park it somewhere it could get written off?"
"well, if you park on the street, or in the back lot, she'll know you're here!" alice argued on the other end of the phone. she was trying to make the apartment look presentable, and that included dealing with the mountain of recycling that should have been taken out three weeks ago.
“so you’d rather the car gets hit?”
“there are cameras!”
the prema driver rolled his eyes, turning into the underground garage. thea had offered up her parking spot, parking in the guest lot at the back of the building instead. when he turned into the underground, he immediately felt like he was attracting too much attention, as the eyes of every student in the garage turned towards his sports car, eyes following his every move.
he slowly manoeuvred into the parking spot, turning the volume on the radio down, the bass guitar shaking the windows. he cut the engine, slipping out of the porsche and heading to the back of the car for his bags.
“nice car bro!” one of the passers by shouted in his direction as he began to walk towards the elevator, exhaustion beginning to set in despite the fact that he slept on the plane.
but the only thing that mattered was getting back to y/n.
_______________
y/n was exhausted. college was nothing like she thought it was going to be, and she was tired of the wall to wall stress, the work that piled up on her when she least expected it.
the loneliness. she expected there to be more social events, more chances to meet people. instead, she could count the amount of new friends she had made in a month on one hand.
she missed clement waking them all up at six in the morning because he was nothing but energy. she missed marcus and his hilarious critique of hospitality food.
she missed what she knew, the people she knew. people from high school, people she’d met because of dennis who had loved her instantly and accepted her as one of their own.
but most of all, she missed dennis, and the way that the driver made her feel.
she was exhausted and worn down, the subway bag holding her lunch swinging from her arm as she walked back to the housing building, key fob dangling from the keychain between her fingers. the fall wind was aggressive, cutting through her ripped skinny jeans and the red bull zip-up sweater that she had stolen from dennis before he left for abu dhabi.
y/n used her key fob to open the lobby door, heading straight for the stairwell as she was out of patience to wait for the elevators.
elevators that hardly ever worked. with every day she spent in the housing development, she realized that the apartment lobby was the nicest part of the building, and the rest was a bit of a dump.
the hallways smelt like marijuana, and the lights in her section of the hall didn't work properly. the paint on the front door was peeling, but it was still stable and the electronic lock still worked properly when she put the number in correctly.
"alice! i'm back!"
the lights in the apartment were off, and it was oddly quiet. raising her eyebrows, she placed her take-out on the laminate counter, shrugging of her overly heavy, pin-covered backpack on the cracked tile floor that her roommate had covered in a shag run in an attempt to brighten the place up.
as far as housing went, the ones sponsored by the school were worse, so y/n had it okay.
but that didn't mean she wouldn't complain every week when the fire alarms went off because some dickhead forgot how a toaster worked and tried to use a frying pan to make toast instead.
she took off her shoes, staring at the ground in confusion as her foot brushed up against something soft. she knelt down to pick it up, revealing a trail of rose petals going from the kitchen and front foyer to the living room, where she could see the faint glow of led fairy lights.
"al?" she shouted again, walking slowly, heart pounding.
"hi, princess."
"dennis!"
y/n couldn't believer her eyes. as far as she knew, dennis' flight didn't leave the emirates until later that night. fighting back tears, she launched herself at the prema driver, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close.
"i'm glad you're here, hauger."
he kissed her forehead gently, running his fingers through her hair. "i'm here, darling. i switched my flights with nicholas latifi, flew to montreal and then got a cheap commercial connecting flight. you needed me, and i didn't want to be away any longer than i had to."
she pulled away to look her lover in the eye. "dennis, you didn't have to do that. what about the guys? this was your last hurrah, the end of the season."
"the season ended in monza, this was just for shits and giggles." dennis said with a shrug. "clement says hello. he also bought you a squishmallow, it's in my bag somewhere. for some absurd reason, he likes buying other people's girlfriends gifts."
y/n laughed. "bless him."
dennis took y/n's hand in his, gently running a finger over her knuckles before leaning in an pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "i missed you."
"so do i."
it was a quiet night for the couple. they curled up next to each other on the couch, a shitty movie playing on the tv as they held each other close. y/n was glad to have dennis back home. everything felt right again. y/n felt recharged, like she could handle anything as long as the norwegian boy was by her side.
after the movie ended, dennis asked if she was okay, and she spilled about everything. she talked about her struggles to fit in at college, how she felt like she was going to buckle under the weight of everything she needed to get done.
"you're going to get through this, okay. this will pass." dennis said softly, pressing his lips to her hairline. "i am so proud of you, darling."
when her roommates came home, thea brought pizza and garlic bread. the four young adults sat on cushions on the floor, pizza box in the middle of the circle, some sitcom on disney plus playing in the background.
alice noticed the change in y/n's demeanor as soon as she walked in. just having dennis around improved y/n's mood. they fed off each other, giving the other strength when they needed it the most.
_______________
the moon was high, and y/n was half asleep as she attempted to organize her room, kicking her various pairs of shoes aside and picking up law textbooks that were sprawled on her floor.
"that's something i've missed a lot." dennis chuckled as y/n bent over to pick up her program hoodie, which had tumbled off her overflowing laundry basket. because of her short pajama shorts, dennis got a very good look at her ass, and he wasn't complaining.
"don't be cheeky." y/n laughed, lobbing a pillow at the driver's head. "my roommates are home, and this fucking mattress is liable to throw your back before we've even gotten started."
dennis laughed, making space in the double bed for his girlfriend, floral duvet over his bottom half as y/n slid into bed next to him on rock-hard mattress.
"you're right, this mattress is fucking awful." dennis groaned as he tucked her in.
"i know, dennis."
"i can order you a better one."
"i know, dennis. but there's no point if i'm gonna move back home eventually. it's just an occupational hazard. like hospitality food."
"don't even get me started on hospitality food." dennis laughed, pulling y/n closer so he could breathe her in, to reassure himself that she was here, that she was okay.
for y/n, being back in dennis' arms meant safety and security, comfort. she rested her head against his chest, breathing in his woodsy scent as she matched her breathing to his, falling into a rhythm as she closed her eyes.
"i love you, dennis. i'm so proud of you." she kissed him softly, nuzzling further into his side.
“I love you too, princess. and I’m proud as hell of you for doing this. get some rest, you deserve it.”
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noface-phantom7 · 3 years ago
Text
Possession: Kinda Victor-ious
A Case of SCP-1990: The Mediocre Wish Granter
(Part One)
“Got it, Mrs. Robinson.” I say over the phone, one hand covering my other ear to make out her words over the loud howling of snow on her background. “Yes, I can stay with him overnight. Don’t worry, I already called mom—yeah, won’t be a problem. Sure, stay safe out there!” Then there was a beep signaling the end of the call. I sighed, then slid the phone back in my pocket.
“What’d she say?” A small voice says to me from the couch, Richard, the eight-year old kid I was supposed to babysit. “Tell me she’s going home tomorrow.”
“Yep,” I nodded, walking back towards the couch where he sat watching a movie. Richard grins, sighing in relief as he returned to his show. “I’ll have to crash here for the night too. That okay with you, kiddo?” I ask him, plopping down beside him and looking out the window, where the snow was also picking up and starting to fall heavier.
“You cook better than her.” He deadpans while holding his stuffed tiger close, and I laugh while patting his head. I live a few houses over, though my mom knew Lydia, his mother, from the local garden club so I frequently came over to babysit Richard since he was four. They’re nice people, a single mother and her two sons—so I couldn’t really refuse. And anyway, I had another reason why I liked coming over.
“So, what do you want for dinner?” I ask Richard, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. He just shrugs, ponders for a moment, then points over the box on the counter. “Mac and cheese? Again?”
“Mom’s not here anyway.” He just mutters, and I chuckled as I stood up to get ready. I should’ve guessed that ‘cooking better’ meant ‘cooking what I want’ to Richard. “Crunchy top please.” He adds, turning back to the movie.
“That’s going to take a little—” I respond, already on my way to the kitchen, when there was a loud knock on the door. I raised an eyebrow at this, even Richard looked over the couch curiously. “Coming!” I call out, intrigued as to who may be out in the snow at this time. It could just be someone asking directions, I thought, or a neighbor.
As soon as I turn the knob of the door open, the person pushes it open fully, then slips inside as he slams it close against the biting cold. I was going to yell for Richard to call the cops, but caught myself while the figure shook snow off his hair and coat.
This was the other reason I liked coming over.
“Sorry mom, I know it’s sudden but—” he starts to mumble quickly, but stops short at my sight. “Seth? What are you doing here?” He asks. This was Victor, Richard’s older brother. He’s about two years my senior, much taller, and already a sophomore in a university a couple of towns away. I wasn’t as close with him as I was with Richard, especially since Lydia and Victor weren’t on the bestest of terms. Still, I’ve long since felt something every time we cross paths in school or whenever I sit Richard.
Victor was a few inches taller than I am, and since I last saw him two years ago, he seems to be oozing more of his appeal now. He had eyes that I could swear people would get drawn to, youthful masculine face and sculpted features, great physique, and a smile that could get anyone. I liked coming over, not because I harbored feelings for him, but I always wanted to be just like him—especially physically.
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He was very athletic too, I recall he’d been part of the high school’s basketball team. Even when he started college, Lydia had mentioned a couple of times that he made it on their team as well, though I heard he quit the team beginning sophomore year because of a disagreement between him and a couple of teammates. Still, I’ve spent a couple of moments doing ‘business’ on a couple of his team’s photoshoots.
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“Your mom’s visiting a friend and then, y’know.” I told him, gesturing at the snow outside while also trying to catch my breath. His brows rise in understanding, then nods at me, making my heart jump a little and life stir in my pants. “She didn’t tell me you were coming though?”
“It’s more of an impulse thing…” He replies a little sheepishly, hanging his coat over the stair banister. He looked a little flushed too, maybe from the snow but even his eyes were a little red as if he were crying. “Listen, I just need the night over, maybe I can leave before mom comes home so don’t tell her.”
“Are you okay? I ask, catching him just before he ascends the stairs. He looked a little troubled as he turned back, the corners of his lips twitching a little before offering a curt nod.
“Yeah, I just need the night. I’ll get back to my dorm tomorrow.” Victor says softly, smiling slightly before making his way up to his old room and leaving me a little dumbfounded. At the same time, Richard steps out of the living room and into the hallway.
“Was that Vic again?” He asks, his plush tucked under his arm. I nod, looking back up the stairs then before turning back to Richard. I opened my mouth to ask him about it but he shrugs and beats me to it. “Oh yeah, he sneaks home when he fights with his boyfriend.” He tells me as-a-matter-of-factly.
“He has a boyfriend?” I start to ask Richard, and he just nods as he turns back towards the living room. “I didn’t know—”
“He doesn’t know that I know so don’t tell him.” He calls out over the sound of the TV, then adds. “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”
I was still a little stunned, and pleasantly surprised at the revelation but quickly went to prepare Richard’s food, contemplating whether or not I make enough for Victor too. I did end up making a little extra, though, and had Richard tell him about it. He said he wasn’t really hungry but thanked me nonetheless. It took most of my self-control and will to not peek into Victor’s room though.
It was soon late night, Victor really hadn’t gone down at all meanwhile Richard was already fighting to keep his eyes open so I had to tuck him in. I was originally supposed to sleep in Victor’s room, and since I didn’t want to sleep in Lydia’s room, that left me the couch. The guest room hadn’t been cleaned in years, and as tempting as it was, I’d rather get uncomfortable than sleep in dust.
Outside, the blizzard had only gotten stronger and I was thankful the Robinsons had heaters installed. I had turned the TV off once I had tucked Richard in, and waited for sleep to take me as I scrolled on my phone. It was around midnight when tendrils of drowsiness had started to take root in me when Richard appeared behind the couch.
“Whoa, buddy.” I told him, rising up from the couch. “You okay? Can’t sleep?”
“I just thought you’d be lonely down here, so have her.” He tells me then dumps his stuffed tiger on my lap before yawning and turning back. “Sarah helps you sleep.” And then he was gone.
I chuckled as I lied back down while I examined the toy. It looked old, and the name ‘SARAH’ was written in bold marker on the clean and care tag, it was cute and thoughtful. I had just tucked one of the pillows under my head when I heard footsteps, heavy, leading to the kitchen. I shifted on the couch a little, enough to see Victor in his pajamas taking something out of the fridge.
At that point, I could already feel exhaustion and sleep seeping into my bones. I gripped the toy close to me, my vision already fading all the while I thought in my head, “I wish I looked as great as Victor.”, with the sight of him sneaking back upstairs the last I see.
Some time in my sleep, I felt something in and around me shift. I couldn’t explain it, and I could be dreaming, but it felt as if I was floating freely in the air. My vision was a little foggy, but a sudden breeze seemingly blew me up and through what looked like the ceiling downstairs. It was surreal, like swimming in the ocean and getting carried by a strong current.
My eyes adjusted slightly in the dark, and beneath me I could see a familiar figure—it was Victor in a prone position. I looked at his sleeping facade, his features softening and giving way to a more innocent look. I was confused, I didn’t know what was happening and why I was seeing him like this. It was only until I felt the breeze again, when it started to pull me down towards Victor that I started to panic. All I could do as I got dragged down was shield my face, and brace for impact.
“Hey!” I felt small hands gripping my arm, shaking me awake from my sleep. It was a little faint, with my hearing slowly coming to me as I bolt up. “Hey, I can’t find Seth.” He tells me, and I blink around me in confusion.
“What?” I asked, my voice sounding a little groggy and deeper than I knew. Even the room looked a little too bright for me, the couch—or bed felt much softer than I remembered. I could feel a blanket tangled between my legs, though I distinctly remember not having one. “Did you guys bring me up here?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.
“Huh?” Richard asks, raising an eyebrow at me. “I can’t find Seth, did you see him?”
“What do you mean?” I ask back, my vision finally clearing. It was then that I realized I was in Victor’s room, evidenced by the countless posters all over the walls, a dozen questions running in my head, including Richard’s weird question, and I had to press my palms over my eyes. “I’m—”
I stopped, hearing my voice. I blinked once, then brought my hands down, staring at the veins that run along my arm. My hands were bigger, as well as my arms, and I wasn’t wearing the shirt I had yesterday—instead I was wearing Victor’s pajamas. I threw the blanket off my legs, making Richard jump back, as I stared at my legs, except they weren’t mine. I touched my face, ran a hand through my hair, and stifled a sound of both surprise and disbelief.
“Are you okay?” Richard asked, though he was now standing near the door and looked a little spooked. I didn’t know how to respond, but the first thing that came to mind was to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating or having delusions.
“Yeah,” I told him, slowly getting off the bed and then noting that the snowfall had stopped through the window. “Maybe he had to go early.” I say, both weirded out and aroused at hearing Victor’s voice come out of my mouth.
“Aww.” Richard groans, stepping out of the room. “Can you call him for me please? I can’t find Sarah anywhere.”
“Sarah?” I ask, before remembering his stuffed tiger. “Yeah sure, just give me a sec.” He disappeared into the hallway at this, and I dashed towards the door and closed it as soon as he was away. Immediately, the first thing I did was turn towards the mirror on the corner of the room and stripped my shirt off.
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“Holy shit,” I say under my breath, the corners of my mouth twitching up to a smile while I glide my hand over my broad chest, the other tracing my abs. I pinched myself for a moment, and once I was sure I wasn’t dreaming, continued to admire myself in the mirror. “It’s real.” I tell myself, letting my hand plunge inside my pants.
I couldn’t even recall much of what happened—all I remember was falling asleep as I watched Victor sneak back upstairs, the weird dream, and then this. Was it even really a dream, or was it what led to this? Did my wish somehow come true? I had no clue, and I didn’t really want to think much about it as I felt the strong urge to explore my new self, and mess around my new body, which I did.
It was the best feeling I’ve had, ever, and I found myself a little reluctant to pull myself off the bed once I was done and reeling from the afterglow. But when I did, I had to physically turn myself away from the mirror, or else I’d be playing with myself again. I decided to dress up, and since it was the weekend, maybe have some fun as Victor for a while.
I dashed down towards the kitchen, where I saw Richard preparing himself a bowl of cereal. “Well?” He asked, looking at me expectantly.
“Well what—” I start, then remembered earlier, when he was looking for me and his toy. “Oh. Yeah, Seth had to get home early, something was up. Didn’t mention Sarah.” I bluff, shrugging at him who eyes me suspiciously before sighing. “Look buddy, I have to go. Don’t tell mom, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever.” He replies, pouring milk on his bowl. I grin at him, then gave him a wink as I grabbed Victor’s coat hanging on the bannister. I patted the pockets down, and quickly found his car keys.
Because of Richard’s revelation last night, I had a vague idea of how to spend the day: back in Victor’s university. I don’t know what was up with him and his boyfriend, but I plan to take advantage of it. I checked his phone earlier, and he had a couple of messages and calls from who I assume was his boyfriend, Jude.
The road outside was fortunately already cleared, no more snow or sheets of frozen puddle so driving out wasn’t much of a problem. The streets and many turns leading to his university felt like I knew them all along, like muscle memory, so it wasn’t long until I was looking for a spot to park my car. I didn’t have all his memories, it seemed like the more I try to think about them, the more I can jog my memory back out.
Once I parked the car, I had to pause to ‘feel’ where Victor would usually go. The campus was sprawling, and despite the cold, there were still more than a handful of people up and about. I walked for a bit, glancing at the looming building that I was sure were the student dorms. I took the moment to gloat at my reflection, taking a picture of myself and wondering what had happened to the real Victor.
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I grinned, before pocketing my phone as I made my way towards the building. Well, I couldn’t care less where he was now. Sure, I had a slight twinge of guilt gripping my heart, but it wasn’t as if I did this intentionally.
I don’t even know how long this will last, what the reason behind this was, or what happened to my old self. It was all confusing, and the thought of my old self just disappearing after all this crept like a silent fear in my gut.
But to be honest, part of the entire ordeal filled me with a strange excitement—I’ve always looked up to Victor, and also envied him a little, and now the universe has given me all that he had with the bonus that he swung the same way I did. Heck, all I even wished for was to look as great as he does. I don’t know, it seems like it was rewarding me somehow in this way. Or was this some Freaky Friday scenario too?
I laughed the latter idea off, it sounded ridiculous, and it was much fun to think of the former. But if it was the latter, well, I can’t say I’m complaining. I shrugged it all off, suppressing both the anxiety and guilt inside me as I pushed the doors open.
Whatever this entire thing was, I’m going to have a hell of a time regardless. And that starts with whatever’s up with Victor and Jude. Though, I wonder, could I fix it if I walked in on him in their dorm room shirtless?
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