#ma’am what?

[jackfrostsdaughter]

My grandma just described me as “perfect for sex trafficking” someone please help.

[foldingfittedsheets]

We took the in laws to a little park I like. The scenery was rather wasted on them but it was a nice cool morning to go walking. The first huckleberry bush I saw I shared a look with my beloved. We both knew the in laws would be horrified at the thought of eating wild berries.

By the third bush I was too tempted and cheerfully announced, “Look, berries!”

They milled in horrified confusion as my beloved and I picked a small handful. I heard my step-MIL whisper, “They didn’t wash them…”

We offered them each berries while expounding on berry facts in the Pacific Northwest including the types we grow and the culture around trail berries. They both declined to try any.

[moonlightdancer26]

Snape haters: How do people even like Snape?

Also Snape:

“Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.”

*****

“Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

*****

“I was just showing Harry my grindylow,” said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.

“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.

*****

As Harry raised himself into a sitting position, his head still swimming from its last contact with the ground, he saw Snape running as hard as he could, the enormous beast [Buckbeak] flapping behind him and screeching as Harry had never heard him screech —

. . . Snape had managed to Disapparate just beyond the school’s boundaries.

*****

Snape gave her [Umbridge] an ironic bow and turned to leave.

*****

“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter — or at least, most minds are.” He smirked.

*****

“Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”

[purple-raspberries]

Ehehehe~

Eddie pretty —v—

[flock-talk]

Reason 1002 why to keep your birds flighted: when you are carrying one to bed and slip down the stairs they will be able to fly themselves to safety and abandon you in your time of need

[weirdsociology]

Y’ALL i was in the elevator at work and an older woman got in with me, looked me up and down and said, “i just can’t tell you how nice it is to see a young lady with her nose in a real book instead of her phone for once”

which, ew on a lot of levels, but it’s work and an elevator so of course i nodded and said something noncommittal like “gosh thank you” as she got out on her floor

the book in question?

[caliphoria17]

HOLY MOTHER OF—

[deep-space-lines]

Did I hit a raw nerve? Have I got a soft touch?

fuck it. lesbian mindflayers

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

anyways i’ve gotten all my silly thoughts out. re the retcons in acotar, a lot of people say it’s somehwat pointless to point out plot holes in an unfinished series but like no??? the books are so inconsistent in a way where it’s clear sarah doesn’t plan ahead or seem to remember the words she wrote. feyre says tamlin didn’t crawl for her when he did, she says he’d told lucien to back off out of jealousy but go back to acotar, it’s because lucien was pushing him to spend more time with her to break the curse and he felt the notion manipulative, nesta in acosf feels bad for not taking feyre’s place when tamlin offered, but TAMLIN NEVER OFFERED????? there’s more, clearly, (gestures to the entirety of acomaf) but these aren’t just unexplained plot points that will be clarified further down the series, they are direct contradictions to established canon, and it makes the whole series a disjointed mess that points to its ear and calls it a nose

[143bc]

[yashley]

LVL 20 YASHA SAYS THE ONLY RIDING GOING ON IS ON ME

[bonesbuckleup]

Every day I refresh the news, terrified Kamala will choose my governor for VP.

[realreadysetrose]

My cat has absolutely McFuckin Had It with my late-night projects

[theshadowrealmitself]

Me: *just trying to get everyone to max friendship hearts, haven’t even asked anyone out, just wanting to see if my display will win before I ask Lewis to judge it*

The fortune teller: So you’re just playing with everyone’s feelings? :/ Walking around like a Casanova? :// No decency? :///

[mariatesstruther]

okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back

[arandomocto]

I am not immune to good monster design ok- this is what peak performance looks like