#luna is the only reason i still somewhat care

[themightymoose]

girlie the loud house is getting an eighth season HELP-

[pillow-anime-talk]

Hii for the prompt could you do 42 nsfw with leonardo luna from blue lock with she/her reader (maybe in a fwb situation) but whatever you write im sure it will be amazing💖

# tags: scenario; friends with benefits; roommates!au; study!au; kinda romance; smut; aged-down (20 y/o); nsfw

warnings: mention of sex and sexual acitivities, high stamina, no foreplay, angry sex, a bit of fingering yourself, hair pulling, hickeys and bites, mention of crying

includes: female reader ft. leonardo luna {blue lock}

author’s note: ooo okay, my first bl request, very nice! 

42. “… You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

The blueberry scent of the candle was in the air, and your favorite study playlist was playing in the background. The summer semester was slowly coming to an end and you had one last exam to write. Concentrated on drawing and highlighting important information on the book, you almost jumped and spilled peppermint tea on your notebook, swore under your breath. In each device, the sound of the bell and the beating of the fist on the wooden exit door spreads. Slowly you made your way towards the noise and when you saw your roommate on the other side you just rolled your eyes.

“… What happened this time? And why didn’t you remember the keys?” You opened the fair-haired man’s door wider, and he cursed only under his breath, temporarily walking towards the bathroom. “It’s nice to see you again too, Leo.” You locked the door and then you went back to your bedroom.

While you were studying, you heard dripping water all the time, and a few swear words, as well as a sound informing you that your friend had dropped something on the shower tray. You heard the sound of a hair dryer, water running in the sink and brushing teeth, and (at the end) the slam of a door as the twenty-year-old completed his evening routine. After a while, the door to the room opened, and Leonardo appeared on the threshold.

“We lost.” He grumbled sat down on your made-up bed and you sighed a little.

“I’m sorry about this?” You replied uncertainly, still focusing on your colorful notebooks. You definitely didn’t know anything about sports and you definitely didn’t know how to make other people feel better in crisis situations. “You won’t always win everything.” You replied and this time you looked at the young man, smiling slightly. “You always give your best, right? So I guess it’s okay.” His gaze was a bit tender, but also somewhat lustful.

Football was more than just a sporting hobby for your male friend; it was his biggest passion, his reason to live, his way of life, his future and his job. Just as for you the most important thing now was studying and taking care of your future through learning, so for your friend it was football, the field and the team.

You turned your head lighlty to the right as Leonardo began to touching the hem of his boxers and looked around the white room. You knew exactly where this was all leading up to. You’ve known him since the beginning of your studies, since you both started being roommates; his parents bought a two-room apartment in the city center and to relieve their costs a bit, they decided to rent one room. When looking for a place to study, Leonardo’s parents’ offer turned out to be the most favorable in terms of price and location. When you first met you were both single with no desire to start a relationship; you focused on college, he on sports. So you two entered into a relation focusing on sex. Thanks to this you knew when your roommate was feeling emotional, stressed, nervous and sad.

“… You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” You laughed as you put down your pen and undid the first button of your sleep shirt. “Do you want something? Just say it, Leo.”

Without a word, the young man got up from his seat and walked over to you. His hands cupped your face in a confident way, and his lips landed on yours. The kiss was wet, a bit intrusive, fast, but at the same time full of emotions – especially the negative ones. He expressed nervousness, a desire to dominate, desperation, anger. You allowed the man to touch your body and face, and without a word you allowed him to move your body from the comfortable chair to the equally comfortable mattress on big bed.

Leonardo needed only a few moments to take off his loose boxers and then a few more seconds to take off your cute set of pajamas with penguins and polar bears. For a moment, he thought about commenting on your outfit, but instead, he just reached into the nearest cupboard for a pack of condoms. His cock was hard and dripping with the first juices, and you just touched your wet pussy, involuntarily inserting two fingers into her. A quick fingering relaxed your muscles and mind, adding some spice to the image of your naked body. The young footballer’s mind was focused on you.

Without a word, you spread your lower lips a bit more, allowing the man to enter your pussy in one smooth move. Lubricant wasn’t needed, you were wet enough.

Your sex has never been vanilla – quite the opposite. Leonardo didn’t look and wasn’t a romantic for whom positive emotions, plans for the future, candlelit dinners or charming kisses mixed with tender words mattered. The movements of his hips were hard, chaotic, and always touched the back wall of your uterus. Whenever you fucked you got the best orgasms and that was enough for you; you didn’t have to get flowers or kisses. Good sex made up for it all.

During the first hickey of the evening, you firmly grabbed the man by his still slightly damp blond hair. Your fingers tangled in the soft strands, and your neck was marked with more and more maroon and pink marks. The shivers on your body indicated the first spasms of pleasure, and the footballer entered your body with more and more force, clasping his hands tightly on your buttocks, hips or arms. Years of training, years of endurance training on the pitch, years of running after a black-white ball resulted in the possibility of having sex for long minutes, quarters of an hour and even hours.

Your sweaty forehead touched Leonardo’s equally sweaty neck; you only clenched your teeth tighter on his muscular nape and your fingernails on his athletic back. You felt pleasure spreading through your body, you felt amazing moisture between your legs, and your face was decorated with transparent tears.

“… It’s not over yet, Y/N.” He whispered into your ear, biting your earlobe lightly, and you nodded. Studying for exams could definitely wait.

[mbat]

every day i wonder what happened during the design process of equestria girls for them to all come out the way they did. i can see where the skirts thing came from cause they wanted them to be undeniably girly i guess or whatever but. every other weird decision is just confusing

like fluttershys whole outfit, the shortish skirt but especially the tank top. maybe its meant to indicate that shes outdoors a lot with animals, but it completely betrays her shyness and tendency to try and hide herself

they kinda messed up big mac and shining armor? mostly shining armor. his jaw could slice metal. why he look like that

also i only realized while looking at the characters that. okay i was just going to say 'lol cheerilees hair is stupid its like 1 foot taller than her head, why didnt they just give her normal bangs wtf' and i still mean that but then i realized... they swapped her mane and fur colors for her human counterpart ??? so now her usually darker coat and light hair became dark hair and light skin ??

which leads me to the point about the skin colors being weird. like. i dont like how they lightened them up, i dont like how aj and big mac have human skin colors (i have to assume maybe they thought for them that the colors looked bad, or possibly even close to caricature territory, especially with big mac), and the way they outright lightened up the colors of at least 2 normally darker ponies? like i said, cheerilee, but also

luna. even back when i first saw the movie and adored it, i DID NOT like the princesses designs. how did they fuck up some of the best characters in the show, especially the ones that are the prettiest (imo).

i would say that of the 3, cadence is the most okay design (i know we dont see her in the first movie just roll with me here). its clearly her, she looks like her and has her vibe (visually), all around not bad. not necessarily my favorite, theres still something slightly off? but it doesnt rub me the wrong way

celestia... i dont like her vibe. who is she. shes light pink and she has hair spikeys that are meant to look like a crown but just made it look like she didnt brush her hair properly. she has celestias hair but her face does not read like celestia to me. she looks like an imposter. where is my mother

and finally. the pinnacle of the issues with the designs. luna.

WHO IS SHE. THAT OUTFIT? NOT LUNA. THAT HAIR? YOU WOULDVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST DOING A GRADIENT. OR PUTTING IN LITTLE STAR HAIR CLIPS. THAT FACE? THATS SOMEONES WINE MOM WHO SINGS EXTRA LOUD AT CHURCH. same critique about the hair spikeys as before. AND THE SKIN??? HELLO??? THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT GOT TURNED INTO PRINCESS OF MIDDAY. WHY.

the design of the show vs the movies is, i guess now literally, night and day. pony luna is so inspired and pretty and meant to invoke such regality, its very clear what her theme is, and she very much sticks out amongst the others, both in shape and details!

but the human version feels generic, she could easily be a background character (and she basically was), she feels unfinished, the colors on their own arent the worst but moreso feel insulting when compared to the original (i like the addition of pink/pinkish purple to the palette, but not so much to luna as a character. it just isnt her imo), she doesnt even look like an authority figure aside from obviously looking older than the other characters, let alone being someone meant to be somewhat equivalent to royalty. also again she was a minor character here but its like... her pony version has such a stone strong personality, both when shes freshly back from the moon and later on when shes more grounded and princess-like. human luna is just... generic teacher person. did human luna even ever experience significant isolation and feeling completely unseen by everyone she cared about? doubt it.

and yeah, they significantly lightened her skin ?? why ?? theres literally no reason to do that? she wouldnt look like a caricature unless you somehow chose the wrong colors (how possibly would you), and its not exactly impossible to draw characters with darker skin, again her pony form literally has a dark coat !! but also plenty of people have redesigned her human form to have the right skin color and they look great!! and in general obviously theres plenty of characters with dark skin, like... what was the reason they did that. it just feels gross.

dont cross me when it comes to luna dude i love her so much

anyway yeah its been over 10 years since EG first aired and i loved it back then and i still love it but i think a lot more about character designs now. mlp g4 is known for having these really pleasant and well put together designs with lovely colors (for the most part), its so weird how that gets easily messed up, like in g5, but also still in g4 itself(in the spinoffs and the main show lol)? wish i had the motivation to redesign them all lol, i probably will someday. please go look at redesigns theyre very lovely

[askthepsychic]

Luna is once more observing the night when she senses Nyx approaching. She turns to look to find Nyx landing and feels an overwhelming amount of power in her.

“Your preparations are complete?” She asks, feeling like she already knows the answer.

Nyx nods. “My power supply has reached its limit. If I try to gather more, I will do great harm to myself.”

Luna nods “then it is time. At last, we have a chance to bring the lost treasure of Dream Valley home. Or at least, as close to home as possible.”

Nyx nods “we can’t do this on our own. We need a third helper to actually receive it. Our own capabilities will be occupied keeping the dream linked and forming the bridge. Have you somepony in mind for the third member of our group?”

Luna sighs. “Not somepony. Someone. Rey is the ideal option. Granted, she may have trepidations, but she would be ideal to act as its new keeper.”

Nyx is frowning as she responds “trepidations? Yes, absolutely and for good reason. You have confirmed what Aaron told us, have you not? The temporal difference between the two worlds in question is vast, with time passing at an almost unbelievably slow pace there as compared to here. It’s going to be the original keeper of the treasure that we will come into contact with and of all individuals you could consider to help us you choose Rey? A natural empath?”

Luna sighs “I understand your concerns, Nyx. Doubtless she still cares for this world and we who live here. But the ones she remembers are long gone. Learning this is more than likely to break her heart, but nevertheless, we must risk that. Aaron has told us that her world has no natural magic of its own, and we know his words are true. A magical artifact in a world of no magic could eventually cause disaster. Even with only 37 years having passed for her, it’s a miracle something hasn’t already happened. She was our guardian angel for a long time, and I personally am not willing to leave her at risk.”

Nyx nods “neither am I. But still, Rey? She’s honest. If questions are asked, she will doubtless answer. You say it’s possible we may break her heart. I say that if we involve Rey, it’s certain. It’s already bad enough that we can only offer passage to the artifact, not because of a lack of power, but because she no longer belongs here. That in and of itself will be a clue to what has transpired. Of how much our world has changed from what she knew. And of course, if she looks at us, there’s another clue. Ponies have evolved. We look much different than the residents of Dream Valley who she was familiar with. Luna, she deserves our consideration, not a broken heart.”

Luna nods “she does deserve our consideration. Sadly, in this case consideration and a broken heart may coincide. As terrible as it would be for her to learn she can never come back, that the world she knew has vanished into the mists of time, would it not be immeasurably worse for her world to suffer from the presence of the Rainbow of Light?”

Nyx blinks, knowing in her heart that Luna is right.

Luna nods “we must do this Nyx. And Rey is the best option for our third team member. Shall we?”

Nyx sighs, then nods. “Let’s begin before I change my mind again. Rey should be in her restorative trance by now. I must warn you, it’s somewhat different from normal sleeping. For one thing, she is fully conscious throughout. Able to wake at a moment’s notice. She has told me she does experience something similar to dreams, but with her, she sees things primarily from the standpoint of an observer, not someone participating in whatever story the dream tells. This all amounts to what is likely to be our first big hurdle. I have never tried to interact with her dreams before. I do not know if it’s even possible.”

Luna nods in understanding “then tonight, we must pray that it is. Hopefully the Allmother will smile on our prayers in this moment. If we are to come upon such a great challenge almost immediately, we’ll likely need all the good fortune we can get.”

Nyx nods. “We begin now.” With that, the magic she has accumulated within herself flares as she loosens it’s restraints, Lunas magic doing likewise as they focus on each other, creating a force of magic far greater than any they could generate alone. “Incredible! Our combined power is even greater than I expected! We shall surely be able to connect the two worlds with this much power! Now, I will attempt to direct the magic to access Rey’s dream.” A bright white tendril snakes off from the Lunar Knight’s horn, going back towards Ponyville.

Rey had at some point grown into a habit of trancing in the main entryway into the Palace of Friendship, thus putting herself between any potential enemy and Twilight. She had taken note of Nyx passing by on some errand earlier, and now (Nyx and Luna. First Nyx leaves earlier, now a dream tendril is approaching. I guess tonight is that night. Good, I was hoping this would come before the trial. But they don’t yet realize it’s possible for my dreams to be accessed in such a way. I guess they’ll know after tonight.) with that thought passed, Rey opens herself to the tendril, welcoming it to access her dreams.

Almost immediately, she loses awareness of the world around her, becoming aware of a cloud filled void, Luna and Nyx to either side of her. After they have explained their quest, Rey agrees to participate. Upon her agreement, her right hand begins to glow dimly.

Nyx looks at Rey “I have placed the primary bridge point in your right palm. You must convince her to place the Rainbow of Light there for it to be transported here. The bridge is dormant now but will activate instantly when something comes into contact with it. That thing must be the Rainbow, or all of this is for naught.”

Rey nods, holding her hand up in front of her “I understand. Let’s get this going.” As she says this, she wonders why neither of the alicorns with her are reacting to the multitude of hoofsteps she can hear from the mists around them.

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

Just a little note from Bee 🐝

I have some other characters you can send asks for too, besides Lemon and I;

💜Lucious Vespertilio: You've probably seen him in some of @cinnavanillamelody ask replies and posts! Her portrayal of him is mostly accurate (minus a fanfiction or two)

Species: Half subspecies of bat pony; Love Bats, Half normal pony (Not sure what type though, his parents are Mocha's characters)

Pronouns: He/Him

Nickname: Lucy (He only tolerates his partners calling him that)

Appearance description: greyish purple coat, Dark purple mane and tail that fades out into a lighter (but still saturated) purple color. His hair is usually short and wavy, sometimes curly. He wears a choker with a heart ring (like the ones with a circle ring but... heart bc love). His outfit choices vary

Personality: Usually light-hearted and charming, a bit of a flirt. Before meeting Cinna he was somewhat of a hopeless romantic. He's a bit oblivious sometimes, but he means well. He's very kind and empathetic, especially to his loves, but this extends out to all he meets.

Other: He's bilingual, Bisexual, and bi-g on self love

📕Alistor Sky: You might have also seen him in some of Mocha's and Cinna's posts, I believe he used to be Mocha's character, but is now mine.

Species: Pony (Unicorn)

Pronouns: He/Him

Nickname: Al

Appearance Description: Large unicorn, with a light colored coat and dark mane. (We have not drawn him much). Major RBF, looks very scary to those who dont know him. He has some scars on his neck, head and legs. Magic appears as a red color.

Personality: Actually a teddy bear on the inside. He's been through a lot, which weighs on him a lot mentally, but he's trying his best to work through it. When he's stressed, his default WAS unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking and smoking, but nowadays he buries himself in his magic studies and in the mane of his lover (Nexa Vespertilio, Mocha's character)

Other: He often gets mistaken for much older than he is due to his size and rbf; this has almost gotten him in some hot water before.

💙Kai Darkstone: His pony name might change to be more pony but this works for now

Species; Pony (Unicorn)

Pronouns: He/Him

Nickname: Princey, pretty boy, "Oh hey, Kodi"

Appearance description: Tall and slender, blue eyes, dark curly mane. His coat color isnt set yet. Magic appears as a light sky blue color.

Personality: Kind, caring, charming and mature. He used to be more wild when he was younger, but as he got older he calmed down and became the voice of reason among his siblings (along with his sister, Luna - Mocha's). He likes to read, and actually enjoys school. He's often called airheaded and oblivious due to missing certain social cues and misreading situations.

Other: Parents are in a large closed poly relationship (6), and their blended family means he has a total of 11? siblings. He is/was the eldest. His birth parents are Kodiak and Kira (Kira is Mocha's).

💖Nightshade Darkstone: one of Kai darkstone's husbands

Species; Pony (Pegasus)

Pronouns: He/Him

Nickname: Shade, Daddy (/hj)

Appearance description: As tall as Kai, but not as thin. His mane is black, fading to a bright red. His coat is a muted red that fades to a dark red/black toward his hooves. Sometimes he wears a collar. His eyes are bright red, and he has two small fangs on his top row of teeth.

Personality: He's friendly and a big flirt, which is kind of how he landed two husbands. He's very protective over his family, and he can be stoic at times. Most of the time though, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. Wants a hug? he'll ask or just take it. Needs reassurance? he'll ask for it. Cant figure out the friggen math problem? He'll ask for help.

Other: He's got ADHD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia. He's also been Kai's childhood best friend for as long as they can remember, and was considered a part of the family before they even started dating.

Thats all :D 🐝

[callofthxvoid]

WHO: Luke Matthews, Calloway de la Luna, Celia Reyes Ortega

SUMMARY: Three people have dinner and talk about grief.

TW: Mentions of death

luke didn’t feel like his usual self for obvious reasons but most people didn’t actually know why. sure people knew lincoln and him were friends and could chop it up to that but there was more to it than just that. he’d only been leaving his house for work, the bar and to walk lady which is what he was doing now. making sure she could still get her energy out before dusk hit and was letting her run around wherever she wanted to right now.

"I'm just worried about him, I don't know what all he's been up to lately," Cal mumbled as he walked next to Celia. It was their new routine, her coming to the library or him going to the diner, then going back to her place. He'd been sleeping easier now days, less nights spent at the library. He brushed his hand against the back of hers, "Losing someone isn't easy and-" cutting himself off when he spotted Luke and Lady walking towards them. "Well speak of the devil, I was telling Celia it's been a while since I've seen Lady."

Celia was about to take Cal's hand when she heard him calling out to Luke. Looking over at the pair, she greeted them with a warm, if somewhat subdued smile, before crouching down to pet Lady. "Hello beautiful," she greeted, before looking up at Luke. "It is genuinely good to see you, Luke. Both of you." She gave Lady a few more pets before standing back up. "How are you holding up? I… I can't even imagine how you must be feeling at the moment."

the intention wasn’t to run into people but it is a small town after all. luke gave a quick nod to cal and watched as celia pet lady, shrugging at the question. “i’m fine,” he said putting his hands in his pockets. “it’s life i guess, people die in this town all the time what can you do.” he shrugged again.

They'd lost so many people this year, he hadn't known any of them personally. The closest being that reporter who knew Jay's dad's coworker. While he sympathized for them, it hadn't affected his day to day. "Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt still," Cal said studying him, pushing the thoughts of his sister away wanting to focus on Luke. "You eat dinner yet?" Glancing at Celia, technically it wasn't his house, but he hoped she'd understand what it was he was suggesting.

Celia looked at Luke with a slightly worried expression before glancing at Cal. She didn't mind that he had extended the invitation to Luke on her behalf - in fact, that only endeared him to her more. It was exactly what she had planned on doing anyway. "If not, you're very welcome to come over," she filled in. "In fact, I would encourage it. Guillermo is at his other place and Felipe is with Jay. Gives me an excuse to cook for more than two people."

luke only nodded some, it hurt a hell of a lot more than he was willing to show even though it was getting increasingly more difficult to hide just how much this affected him. "not yet, i was just gonna grab something at the diner probably." though he hadn't had an actual home cooked meal since finding out not having the energy to do anything else besides work and caring for lady. "i guess i could come over though, it alright if lady comes with? she's been getting upset when i leave her at home alone."

It was hard to keep his face neutral, part of Cal wanted to just hug Luke and tell him things would be ok. But realistically he couldn't even be sure, that and he knew well enough how hollow that could feel to hear. "Well you have the diner owner offering to cook for you," he tried to joke glancing at her, "No offense to your cooks, but you are the better cook." Bending down to pet Lady on the head, he figured Celia would say yes.

Celia felt a slight sense of relief when Luke agreed to come over for dinner. She laughed softly and shook her head at Cal's comment. "You only think that because at home I cook entirely different food than what we serve at the diner," she reasoned, before looking at Luke again and nodding in the affirmative. "Of course, Lady is always welcome. There might even be a meal in it for her too depending on what I have." Slipping her hand into Cal's, she nodded in the direction that they had been heading in. "Shall we?"

“that’s true i do.” luke managed to chuckle a bit. he nodded some and watched lady enjoy getting all the attention and at the mention of her possibly getting something to her ears perked up. luke shook his head at her with a slight smile and started walking in the direction now. “i’m sorry i didn’t ask, how are you guys?”

It still surprised Cal how easy it had been to fall into step with her, "I have gotten less Luke lectures over my diet not being just coffee now," giving her hand a light squeeze. "Same old same old at the library, other than trying to get Josie to take it easy," he said figuring it be better to take things light for now as they headed back. "Not sure if you heard but she's expecting."

Celia squeezed his hand back before looking over at Luke with a small smile. "It's the same at the diner, just getting used to operating things like normal now that the power is back, and we're not having to pick and choose what to run on the generator," she filled in after Cal's answer. "And the family is good. Now that school is back in session, you might actually see more of my son than I do. When he's not there, he's usually with Jay."

"i saw the paper said she was yeah." surprisingly luke had actually somehow managed to read that at some point, maybe it was a way to distract his mind he wasn't sure since he didn't typically read it. he was looking at the ground as they walked, reaching over a few times to pet lady along the way. "i'm glad powers back on, not that i really needed it for school but i'm sure the kids are glad the ac is back."

Cal grimaced at the mention of the paper, he'd have to check in on her later he thought. Having all your business out there wasn't going to help her out of whatever spiral she kept slipping into. "The kids and Jay seemed pretty happy about," he agreed, "Grateful for having it back for the library, having to open all the windows was getting a bit much." As they walked back he kept an eye on Luke, trying to gauge how he seemed to be doing, not feeling particularly reassured even with the affection he showed Lady.

Celia listened in, letting the two of them carry most of the conversation as they made their way back to her house, occasionally chiming in with a comment. She caught Cal's glances toward Luke a couple of times and each time she squeezed his hand to let him know that she was there. When they got to the house, she unlocked the door and swiftly made her way toward the kitchen. "Please make yourself at home," she called out."Can I get you anything to drink?"

luke nodded in agreement, he wasn't feeling very talkative as they walked so it was mostly cal speaking but he'd still try and chime in to keep the conversation going so neither of them felt like he was ignoring them. he let cal walk inside first then let lady follow behind, closing the door behind himself when he actually walked in. "oh um, i'll just take a water please." luke headed towards the living room instead so he could keep lady in there with him so she wouldn't try and get into the kitchen while celia was in there. "thanks for inviting me over by the way."

Cal had followed Celia into the kitchen grabbing three glasses and a small bowl. He set a water glass near her already knowing how she could be when cooking. Taking the other to Luke and setting the bowl for Lady down. Taking a seat on the couch he took a sip, "Course, you know I always have time for you." He wasn't always this open about his sincerity but with everything going on wasting time on being afraid of making things awkward no longer seemed worth the effort. Taking another sip he debated the elephant in the room before deciding to at least slide into it. "You been sleeping ok? Was pretty hot there for a minute."

Celia smiled at Cal at mouthed a 'thank you' before following him with her gaze as he left the kitchen and walked into the living room. She spent the next time in the kitchen humming to herself and preparing various ingredients. If they needed her, she reasoned, they knew exactly where she was.

luke took the glass and gave a quick nods and thanks before taking a sip from it. he held it in his hand as he leaned against the back of the couch and gave a simple shrug. "yeah a bit, doesn't help i've got this giant fur ball wanting to cuddle at night." he was grateful for it though, he needed it and lady knew that so he really didn't mind. "she's been coming with me to work more often too, the kids have been excited about that."

Cal scratched idly at Lady's head when she came over to sit next to him, he took a long sip sneaking a glance at Celia. He knew she was listening so if this went sideways he hoped she'd step in before he glanced back at Luke. "You know, no one would blame you if you needed to take some time off work. I didn't start at the library till at least a month after I got here. I didn't really feel like myself, least not a me without her," he said briefly grimacing at the end.

Celia continued cooking.

luke shook his head. "i'm fine, i don't need to take the time off work. he was just a friend so whatever, i'll get over it eventually." though he knew he'd told cal and celia otherwise or at the very least mentioned it being his best friend and it would've been easy to put two and two together. "i don't want to take the time off anyway." he needed the company even if it was the form of his students that he had to teach, it still helped.

Cal chewed on his lip as he rubbed the back of his neck, hell he'd barely dealt with his own grief who was he to say anything to him? "This isn't the kind of thing you just get over Luke, and…the way you talked about him, he wasn't just a friend was he?" He wasn't sure at what point they'd reached but with how Luke was talking he was leaning towards them still being in that weird limbo zone.

Celia had forgone humming to herself while cooking in order to listen in on their conversation. She stopped in her tracks when she heard Luke refer to Lincoln as just a friend, a memory of a conversation they'd had a while back resurfacing from the back of her mind, causing her to furrow her eyebrows. Judging from what Cal responded, it seemed the two of them had had a similar conversation, and she quickly went back to preparing their food, albeit paying closer attention to what was being said.

luke was chewing on the inside of his cheek at this point. cal wasn’t technically right but he also wasn’t wrong either. “he was.” he said, taking another drink from his water to try and stop himself from saying anything more at that moment. it took him a second to gather his thoughts before he just blurted it out anyway. “but i wanted us to be more than that.”

Cal's gaze softened as he studied look, without thinking he'd glanced over at Celia while Luke wasn't looking at him. Partly to see if she needed help and partly just for the moral support for all this. Feeling a bit guilty that he had that while Luke didn't. "I'm sorry," he said glancing back at Luke, "How have you been feeling about this, or…are you just holding it in?"

Celia turned to catch Cal's eye, offering him a small smile before mouthing the words 'be right there' and turning her attention back to her cooking, at least until it reached a point where she could leave it alone for a little bit. Luckily, growing up in a house as chaotic as theirs had resulted in a lot of her staple meals being of the 'throw shit into the pan and wait for it to cook' variety. Setting the pan to a simmer, she picked up her glass of water and walked to the frame of the door, leaning against it as the watched the two of them on the couch. "Did you ever get around to telling him?"

luke took a deep breath and fell silent for a while. cal somehow always knew how exactly he was feeling about something even if he didn’t express it and as frustrating as it was in the moment it helped. luke shrugged now, “no i never got to tell him.” he decided to answer celia first since that one was easier. “and i… don’t know. maybe? i guess i haven’t fully come to terms that he’s gone yet.”

Cal had gone back to petting Lady, mostly to not stare at Luke, opting to let him work through his thoughts. He gave Celia a grateful nod, shoulders relaxing when she came over to the doorway. He bit back a sigh at Luke's confession, or well lack of confession. Nodding his gaze fell back to Lady, gently motioning for her to go back to Luke. "Yea that…that's the hard part. You wake up and you don't…you um," swallowing he shrugged, "You forget sometimes, then it hits you again, but uh…it does get easier. It doesn't hurt as much." He managed to give Luke a small smile, "It does get easier, he was a great guy."

Celia had planned on staying in the doorway to the kitchen, but Luke's admission that he hadn't told Lincoln how he felt and Cal's awkward attempts at comfort prompted her to make her way to the couch, perching on the armrest next to Luke and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I can't say that I've ever gone through what you're going through," she started, squeezing his shoulder lightly. "But when I was at my lowest, the biggest mistake I made was trying to carry on with my life as if nothing was wrong. I needed help, and I refused to ask for it, and that ultimately made things harder for myself and the people around me."

luke had heard that it'd get easier before, he didn't believe it then and he wasn't really believing it now. maybe that was partially because of what celia had added on, acting like nothing was wrong and that he wasn't as upset as he was leading people on to be. he hadn't noticed lady coming back to him until she rested her head on his knee wanting attention so he scratched her head. "i just don't know what to do, every time i think about him all i feel like doing is crawling into bed and crying thinking that'll fix everything. like somehow my tears will bring him back but they don't and they won't." luke cleared his throat a bit, biting the inside of his cheek. "i was supposed to see him the day after i found out… i was going to finally tell him then.."

Cal's sister had been the people person, better at talking than him. He'd like to think she and Luke would have gotten along, probably bond over teasing him. His insomnia hasn't been as bad lately, can see the same look in Luke's eyes he'd seen on the mirror for months. "You don't have to do anything, just take it day by day," he said, "Honestly crying isn't a bad way to let it out." He grimaced at Luke's words, "It might not be the same but if you ever wanted to go see him and tell him that way. Might at least let some of what you're carrying go."

"Cal is right," Celia filled in, glancing up to give Cal a small smile while keeping her hand on Luke's shoulder. "Even if crying doesn't bring him back, you shouldn't stop yourself from feeling what you need to feel." She leaned forward to set her glass of water down on the coffee table before looking back at Luke. "You're not alone. If you'd like to go see him and talk to him, one or both of us can come with you if you think that would be easier."

luke shook his head again, partly because he wasn't even sure where lincoln had been buried and could only assume it was on commune grounds. "no. if i see him then i'll know it's real and i'm not ready to admit this is real yet cause then i'll start crying and i don't think i'll ever stop." he'd been able to hold out this long, only letting a few tears slip every now and again before he'd push the feelings down to find something to distract him.

Cal remembered that feeling, it taken having to watch the video of the event on repeat the first few days for it to really sink in for him. "We can go whenever you feel ready, or even if you only feel half ready. You can change your mind at any point, there's no rush to going through this," he said. As much as he wanted to tell him to let it out, he knew from experience it was easier said than done. "Look tonight we eat dinner, maybe have a drink. We don't have to figure everything out now."

"Drinks can definitely be on the menu if you'd like," Celia reassured him, giving Luke's shoulder one last squeeze before standing up and starting to make her way back to the kitchen to check on the food. Stopping in the doorway, she looked over her shoulder at the two men on the couch. "There's no wrong way to grieve. You know that, right? You do what you have to do, and when you need us, we'll be there." In a way, she was speaking to both of them when she said that, before disappearing back into the kitchen.

“drinks sound nice.” luke said quietly. of course they did since that was majority of what he was doing lately anyway. “and i’ll get back to you on the whole going thing, i don’t know if i’ll ever be ready for it honestly.”

Cal tried not to flinch at her words, he's let her know a lot about him, but that part has stayed pretty buried. "I can grab drinks," he offered, considering Celia is already busy with dinner. "Take your time, like I said no rush. It hasn't even been a month, Luke, and I mean in this town we kind of have nothing but time," he tried to joke to lighten the mood. Grabbing a set of glasses he set some wine at the table, figuring Luke would come and join him. Glancing at Celia, "Need any help?"

Celia was in the middle of taste testing her sauce when Cal asked if she needed any help. At first, she shook her head, but quickly changed her mind. "Actually, can you help set the table? I've still got some of this to do and you know where everything is anyway." She looked over at him, a small smile automatically growing on her face, before she turned back to the food. "And grab a plate for Lady as well. She's getting food too."

luke nodded and stayed on the couch for now just continuing to pet lady as cal and celia went into the kitchen. he wanted to chuckle at cals joke but couldn’t bring himself to actually do so then leaned forward to put his glass on the table. he took a couple of deep breaths finally getting up from the couch and headed for the kitchen where he stayed in the doorway, leaning against the wall.

Cal waited when she shook her head, had gotten use to her initial reaction to deny help before changing her mind. He didn't hold it against her, just happy she'd started letting him help. "Course she is," he said chuckling as he set the table as well as leaving a plate near her for Lady. Glancing at Luke he walked by and squeezed his shoulder, "Wine alright or would you rather have a beer?" He'd already poured the glasses but wouldn't be hard to switch it out he mused.

Celia smiled to herself, focusing on getting the food ready while listening to Cal moving around the kitchen, finishing up and place everything in serving bowls before carrying them over to the table. She offered Luke a small smile when he joined them before plating the food she'd prepared for Lady and setting the plate down on the floor. "We might also have some moonshine left behind by my brother, although sadly, I cannot vouch for the taste of that," she offered, before gesturing toward one of the chairs. "But either way, dinner is served."

[maratethered]

BLADE & SHIPS, a comprehensive guide.

NOTE: this is my personal take on the ships/dynamics I like for him. If we write any of these, it doesn't have to be exactly the same (it doesn't even have to be a ship, but this is me letting you know that I ship the hell out of it in case you do too). Each of these can be written as a ship, or it can be platonic. I won't automatically assume anything unless we talk about it first.

To get the elephant out of the room first — the current state of him doesn't leave much space for an actual functional relationship for two reasons: one – he's too mentally and physically damaged to be able to feel something real, two – he has one desire and one desire only, that is to die for good. No matter how much he cares about someone in his limited capacity, his case is too complicated, his mind is set on it, nothing will be able to change that. The pain, the exhaustion, there's simply no way he'd ever be able to 'regain passion for living' and it's just something that's always gonna be out there.

Another little thing – he doesn't like being touched. That's not to say he never allows it, he does, when it's someone he trusts (which is like... two people), but after the whole Jingliu ordeal his body looks like an abstract study in scars and that's... a thing he's not particularly happy about. It's not about expecting pain from any kind of touch, he's pretty indifferent to pain, and it's not a body image issue – he sees himself for what he's been turned into, an abomination of abundance, something unnatural and undead, so he doesn't feel at home in his own body, that's about the root of it.

JING YUAN: a weird combination of longing, comfort and confusion. Blade doesn't remember much, but somehow he finds the general's company soothing in a natural way, unlike Kafka's (we'll get to that part). Yingxing had a lot of love and respect for the man back in the day, he trusted him, and some part of him knows that he can still trust him (since you know, Jing Yuan seems to be the only one crossed out on his to-kill list). But there might still be some underlying bitterness there because JY didn't do anything, but he also didn't do anything. It's probably the only ship that can remain somewhat functional if it's slowly rebuilt. In the past verse it's just comforting and warm.

DAN HENG / IMBIBITOR LUNAE: I still don't really know what to do with this mess tbh. Past verse? They'd be inseparable, tons of adoration going both ways because who could resist the temptation that is IL? Not Yingxing. But at this point, Dan Heng isn't him, one day Blade might finally understand it, and whatever there used to be is tainted by hatred and desire for revenge. There's still a part of him that yearns for the man IL once was, but that man is gone forever (and so is Yingxing), so there's nothing but anger and wreckage.

KAFKA: I can hardly see a proper romantic ship here, unless... It's either purely platonic or they're just having fun with each other to kill the time and unwind after a mission (or, in some cases, during). It just works on every level – same goals, no past grievances and they're both hot and stuck in the same boat. Kafka has no fear, the danger a mara-stricken man poses means nothing in that regard, and Blade relies on her spirit whisper quite a lot. It's not a natural way to feel comfortable around someone, but it's a highly efficient one – if she can cleanse his mind of anything but her for a moment, he'll gladly take it. As long as she doesn't abuse her control powers and it benefits the shallow remnants of his emotional stability, being around her is his best place. Plus I live for the found family trope, and the Stellaron Hunters are definitely a family.

[anguis-sapphire]

for the series meme: pokemon reborn — @drpresto :}

Oh, the rambles you may have unleashed here. Thank you for this, friend, this really really means a lot ^-^

(source: this post by askboxmemes)

Give me a series & I’ll tell you..

❤ Favourite Male: Taka my beloved (platonically)!! He is a somewhat sad scarf man and I care about him greatly. As do many others, which makes me smile to see. I’m very very glad he comes back on Anna Route (and some Lin Routes, since I think the only requirements are Reshiram and victory at Pyrous?), even if it isn’t until Tier 5. In fact, I’m pretty sure the reason I downloaded Reborn myself in the first place was to get to experience Zekrom Route firsthand (because the playthrough I was watching ended up on Reshiram), and I wanted to do this so that Taka wouldn’t get killed off in my version of the game and so I could get what I thought at the time was a better or at least kinder ending (even if Anna Route - which needs Reshiram - has since become my favourite route now that episode 19 is out).

❤ Favourite Female: Funnily enough, Elena actually came to mind first for this, which is thanks to her combination of amazing personality and super pretty design AND awesome Trainer title and type specialities (haha no I’m not biased because my self-insert is also a Ghost-type specialist, what are you talking about). ..But all of that also applies to Luna, as well. And it would just feel wrong to not say Luna for this, especially given that Elena is present in the game for all of one postgame cutscene and that's it (which is REALLY a shame). So.. Luna. As my general track record of blogging on Tumblr in general probably indicates quite well. I just really really love her, okay?? ;w;

❤ Favourite Pairing: ..does Lunadri count because then if so Lunadri (i.e. my selfship with Luna). Going strictly by canon x canon, though.. maybe Julirini (Julia x Florinia)? Ayahardy is also a classic, as are the Agate Ace Triumvirate (though that's three, not a pairing) - the detail of Noel being commissioned for a wedding ring and Serra I think being commissioned for a wedding dress after the timeskip made me smile. However I can’t deny that the concept of- is it Solias? Solaris x Elias - is very amusing to me. Arcdrienn and Takace are both nice ideas as well, and I think Torialice and Noelumi would be cute too. ..Aaah, this game has so many neat potential pairings and that’s not even considering OC x canon ships and selfships, of which there are many (which I absolutely adore seeing and am not listing only out of not wanting to accidentally not mention one that I like)!!!

❤ Least Favourite Character: If it has to only be one, then.. Probably Sigmund. Other candidates would be Bennett and Elias (maybe for obvious reasons, but I’m afraid I still can’t shake the dislike despite their improvements in postgame), and Sirius, and then to a lesser extent Fern (though seeing how much other people like him has somewhat helped, things like the Beryl Bridge scene do not help him).

❤ who’s most like me: Hmm.. I'm not sure, actually! To tell you the truth, I struggle a bit with figuring out what I’m like in the first place, which makes answering questions like these very difficult.

❤ most attractive: ..I mean, again, I can't not mention Luna for this. She is very pretty and I love her (everyone interprets her outfits slightly differently but they always look really good). But then so is Elena. Perhaps this is something you may have been expecting.

❤ three more characters that I like: Ace is DEFINITELY one I have to mention here - they are just such a good addition to the cast and I love just about anything to do with them. I also care a lot about Anna and Noel - I think Noel is still very underrated, which i know is kind of the point, but still. Also Shelly, she is so good. And also Shade, I wish he was more present in the postgame honestly (although that might stem from the main quest featuring him, as in the one that shows some of his backstory, is the Jirachi quest, which is one of my least favourites because of all the needless Sigmund info). ..I could honestly mention half the cast here, to be fair, but I'll stop here because this is already such a long answer ;w;

..Oh crumbs this took something in the realm of a week to fill out and is probably several hundred words long. I apologise profusely. I hope you enjoy reading this even if it probably makes absolutely zero sense to you. Thank you very kindly for this opportunity, friend ;w;

[idyllic-affections]

Okay! Since you’re fine with it, here she is!!!

Kokoro is a youkai called a Tsukumogami. If you dont know what that is, a Tsukumogami is a youkai that used to be a normal item but had since gotten sentience due to exposure to youkai energy. Now Kokoro is somewhat of a assistant(?) to Yae Miko. She is always seen together with Miko and would always run errands for her. Yae Miko has a huge part in her existance which i will cover later. Now Kokoro has a whimsy airy personality, somewhat similar to Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. She may seems like she’s always in her own world but she is actually very observant, something she had picked up from dear Miko. She also has a penchant to ask questions as she is a very curious person since before she gained her human form, her only source of information was from Miko. Also i like to think that her and Miko would read books together, as a bonding session which is cute and also kinda sad which again i will also cover later. She has a hydro vision but idk if that fit her..? Its either hydro or dendro but if i chose dendro it feels a bit cliche? because Kokoro has a wisteria theme going on so yeah..

Now lets get to her backstory, she was originally a simple wisteria kanzashi (a kanzashi is a type of hairpiece in Japan). You can say she was a somewhat of gag gift when she was given. You see, 500 years ago, Yae Miko had a human friend that she was very close with, that human was Kamisato Hitomi, the ancestor of the Kamisato siblings we know and love. Now the both of them would try to hang out as much as possible due to their busy duties respectively as a shrine maiden and a lady of the Yashiro Commision. They would read together whenever they have the time (which is why its kinda sad) One day, Hitomi had lend a book to Miko to read, inside of the book was a wisteria kanzashi. It was used to be a bookmark that Hitomi used last minute when she called for something. She did this because the page she was reading was… a bit suggestive BUT NOTHING EXPLICIT HAPPENED hence the last minute bookmark to ensure no one sees it and since then she had been using it as a bookmark but had forgotten to take it out when she lend it to Miko. When Miko learned the reason of it, she teased the hell out of Hitomi. Hitomi later then let Miko have the wisteria kanzashi because like why not. Little did they know that few days later the Cataclysm would happened and was the reason Hitomi died. Since it was the last thing that Hitomi had gifted her, Miko took good care of the kanzashi and when things sometimes gets too much, she would vent all her problems to it, as if Hitomi was there listening to her. And because of that, the Kanzashi got exposed to Yae Miko’s youkai energy and gained sentience. Now we have that out of the way, i would like to mention that Kokoro has a bit of similarity to Hitomi which can sometimes be comforting or sad for Miko.

(Also if you want to know on why does the Kamisato sibling still exist if Hitomi died, well she had a little brother who is the direct ancestor to the siblings)

So what do you think of her? I really like how i made her but i feel like she’s missing something, idk what but i would like to hear your feedback on her :>

- 🐱 Anon

AJSKSHKGHF I LOVE HERRRR

there's a difference between cliche and intentionally using the symbolism in visions to your advantage!! ultimately, you get to decide what suits your oc the best, and if you want it to be dendro, then make it dendro!!!!! being cliche isn't inherently a bad thing, but as i mentioned, there is also totally a difference between being cliche and using these elements of symbolism to your advantage. truth be told, the non-writer audiences may fail to pick up on that nuance, but that's just the sort of thing you have to accept. not everyone will pick up on the symbolism you use, if any at all. or, yknow, be cliche! that's not always bad. there's a reason why "cliche" tropes are popular. just do whatever you think suits your oc best <3

i'm very neutral on miko. i don't like her, i don't hate her, but this makes me like her a little more AUSHAKGJG this is super cute 🫶🫶🫶🫶

ultimately, as oc creators, we create because we want to. your oc does not exist to please an audience, so please do whatever you want with her!!! build her with passion and love!!!!!! do what makes you happy because, as someone who has been doing this for years, it shows; when you are happy with your oc, it shows through and your oc feels much more fleshed-out and full of life. the ocs i am not happy with aren't as detailed as the ones i am happy with. they just... aren't the same.

so do what makes you happy, yknow? c:

[alexiethymia]

A Case Study on Vanitas’ Character: On Vanitas’ Two Conditions

Since they’re animating the What is Love? episode next (episode 7), I couldn’t help but want to talk about that chapter. [spoilers for anime-only watchers!]

Vanitas has two conditions for Jeanne: 

1) She mustn’t drink blood from anyone else but him.

I admit that like Jeanne, it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking Vanitas is a better guy than he is because of certain biases. Let’s admit it, this part was plain blackmail, and yet for some reason, with what we know of Vanitas now, there are also different ways of seeing this scene. 

Vanitas is ‘blackmailing’ Jeanne, but at the same time that blackmail is actually him also offering a solution to Jeanne’s problem. AND YET, HE DOES IT IN SUCH A WAY SO THAT JEANNE NEVER HAS TO FEEL LIKE SHE OWES HIM. More to the point, he does it in such a way to ensure that Jeanne continues hating him. In other words he, in his own twisted way, is doing a nice thing for Jeanne, while ensuring that she never likes him for it. Now I’m not saying it’s a purely altruistic thing, but I still think that Vanitas is drawn to Jeanne because she reminds him of himself back then. If so he knows precisely how to get her to receive help albeit through manipulative means. 

It’s not a purely altruistic thing. He states it so himself, what he gets out of it is the ‘divine feeling’ Jeanne sucking his blood gives to him again purposefully painting himself as a pervert so that Jeanne wouldn’t like him for helping her. But if we are to believe some theories that it’s not actually as enjoyable as he himself paints it out to be (I digress, but I think he’s being honest here. He strikes me as having a bit of a masochistic streak in him) (I digress from my digression, but theory time, what’s his bases of comparison?? Who besides Luna and Jeanne have drunk from him??), then there’s another dimension to his condition of ‘you must drink blood, only from me’. If he’s just in this for the feeling it gives him, then why word the condition that way? He’s never stricken me as possessive of Jeanne despite his words of ‘I want to possess all of you’, and as he’s stated, he doesn’t want Jeanne to love him back. I think this is just another case of his ‘use me’ mindset rearing its head again. He’s said it to Count Orlock, and we know that it started since his time with Dr. Moreau. It is definitely, definitely, unhealthy, and I believe it’s also coupled with his slight suicidal tendencies. If worst comes to worst and Jeanne ends up going out of control and killing him, he seems not to care. 

Going off tangent here, but another one of his contradictions is how ruthless he is at surviving and yet how careless he is with his life, especially when it comes to people caring for him. He’d rather be left in the snow than have Jeanne take care of him as repayment for him protecting her, or when he got angry at Noe for protecting him from Ruthven.

But at his core and as Luna stated, Vanitas is a kind child. It’s developed in an unhealthy way, but he’s quite self-sacrificial. It’s fine for Jeanne to use him so that Jeanne has a focus or outlet. At least when the craving for blood gets to be too much, Jeanne knows there’s someone she can drink from, which helps her so that she doesn’t lose control and lash out against Luca for example. And on Vanitas’ side, it seems like it’s fine for him to be put at risk so other people don’t have to be, and on Jeanne’s part too, it also helps her from further hating herself if she ends up hurting other people. 

In other words, his condition is both a selfish and selfless one, yet he paints it to be blackmail. It’s not an entirely good thing for him to do, because there’s definitely power play involved, but it’s also not as scummy as it is initially presented out to be with what we now know of his past. 

2) For Jeanne to call him by ‘name’. 

There are so many things going on here that I just can’t help but ramble about it. Firstly, I’m really interested in how this’ll be translated in the anime. Did Vanitas say call me by ‘Vanitas’, or call me by ‘my name’? Because if it’s the latter, then couldn’t Vanitas also mean (although not fully consciously) that he wants someone to call him by his true name like Luna did before he inherited the name ‘Vanitas’? (And I will just die if in a future chapter, Jeanne and Noe do end up getting to call him by his original name).  

Second, there are slight parallels and contrasts with this arrangement he has with Jeanne and with the one he had back then with Moreau. Obviously Moreau is trash and took full advantage of ‘No. 69′. He exercised all the power. In this case, Jeanne is hesitant about hurting Vanitas despite how aggravating he is towards her. She doesn’t want to drink his blood at all. Moreau was a human. Jeanne is a vampire, and despite physically being superior towards Vanitas she changes her demand into a plea or request for Vanitas to keep her secret. (And whelp that’s when she sealed her fate, because she apparently triggered Vanitas. Don’t worry though Jeanne, you’ll get your payback soon enough). Vanitas was completely without power before, so faced with a similar situation this time around, I think part of him let the power get to his head, causing him to partly take advantage of Jeanne (he’s a complete sadist AND a masochist). He has complete agency this time around. Sure he’s once again offering himself with the expectation of pain and at the risk of his life, and he’s also doing this for another person, like with Misha, but unlike with Dr. Moreau, the power is on his side this time around. 

Going off tangent, that’s one thing that Vanitas and Jeanne have to work on. Balancing power and agency. I get where Vanitas is coming from, surrounded by vampires as he is, and with his past too, but he has to realize that caring about and loving someone isn’t a matter of power. You don’t lose when you love and care. You don’t surrender power. You don’t have to take away someone’s agency or exercise your own power for you to manage to do good things for the people you care about. He has to manage that balance - likewise with Jeanne, Noe, and Domi as well. 

Going back. Since he has full agency in this case, it’s his decision to offer himself to Jeanne in this way, he doesn’t want to be dehumanized while doing so. He’s had enough trauma about that already. Despite how he words it, it’s actually a somewhat equivalent exchange between Vanitas and Jeanne. He offers her blood as a way for her to keep her sanity, but she can’t be removed from it, she has to look at him properly and consider him a person with full agency and choices, and not just as ‘that human’. 

And looking at their faces - Jeanne’s is an incredulous one as if to say, ‘that’s it?’ It’s both an easy and difficult thing for her to do. Meanwhile, for Vanitas, I’d expected him to look goading, but he just looks patient and soft. At least in this instance, I don’t see it as him forcing Jeanne to do something she doesn’t want to do - just an unexpected moment of wanting to be known and treated as himself. 

LISTEN HE IS FULL OF CONTRADICTIONS OK. We’re led to believe that all of his interactions with Jeanne until the moment he realized he fell in love with her was just him teasing her, but I believe he was already in the process of falling in love with her slowly. I’ll go so far as to say that he was the one who fell in love first, but he just interpreted it as his being ‘excited’ by her. In other words, the words he said (’I love you’) which we thought was a lie was actually the truth, albeit a truth he didn’t realize much later. 

Why do I think so? It’s because he revealed certain moments of vulnerability or sincerity with her or about her without any of the teasing, as represented by the italicized dialogue. It’s the same case for when he said he didn’t want to trod on her foot with Noe, or when he happily grinned and he said forthright Jeanne was the side of her he liked best (or when he promised he’d kill her). 

This is just an example of his contradiction. He never wanted or expected Jeanne to fall in love with him, and sure this could just be his wanting to push boundaries or test limits, being the chaotic person that he is, and yet, wanting to be called by name is a desire to form a genuine connection. 

He could have just remained as ‘that human’ to Jeanne while interacting with her. After all, what could stop him? He also had the first condition in place to make sure they’d continue to interact. And yet, he refused (like how Noe refuses to be ‘that vampire’ to him). 

Like Luna said, as long as he didn’t close his heart, he wouldn’t be alone. Even if Vanitas thinks it burdensome or wants to be ‘free’, it seems that he still does long for connection - romantic, platonic, or otherwise. 

And this is why I ship them, even in this instance so early on in the manga when arguably the dynamic wasn’t at its healthiest. It’s because of their background that draws them to each other and allows them an understanding of one another. It’s because of that desire to know more about each other. It’s because of that genuine care and wanting to form a connection with each other, despite part of them rejecting it because of their issues.

Do I think they’re good for each other? Yes. Admittedly, they have so much to work on, but I believe that they push (Vanitas with regards to Jeanne’s blood addiction, and Jeanne with Vanitas in his moment of vulnerability) because the both of them tend to be self-destructive if left to their own devices. It’s just that their version of care for each other is aggressive. They’ll have to find that balance though eventually. On Vanitas’ part he also has to be inspired by Noe that the kind of salvation a person wants may not be the best possible outcome, especially for those left behind. I’m not sure what Mochizuki sensei’s end message is suppose to be, but death I don’t believe is salvation.   

tldr: Vanitas is a self-sacrificial idiot who longs for connections under layers of self-loathing (but he’s still an asshole), and VaniJeanne is a good ship which had the foundations laid down from the beginning. 

[overobsessedfanboy23]

Top 10 5Ds Characters (old, sub based)

I know I was negative in my 5Ds overview but I honestly did like the first half. I wouldn’t sit down and watch the whole thing again but the things and characters that did stand out were some of the best things to come out of Yugioh. I can 100% see how this is people’s favourite show, it’s just not my cup of tea and the problems I do have with it drag it down as a whole. However, it’s still Yugioh and I still like it, so I’m gonna make a top 10 characters list for it… based only on the first half and Bonds Beyond Time though, I haven’t watched the second half. So I don’t know anyone introduced after the Dark Signers arc. Also, yes, I’m aware I just gave away one of the entries on this list with that explanation but let’s just ignore that.

10 Martha

I’ll admit I struggled a little bit to get ten characters for this list. These bottom two did somewhat boil down to “just pick someone” but thinking about it, I do genuinely like both of my choices. I don’t have a deep reason for this one, I just think Martha was funny and her “death” did draw emotion from me.

9 Kiryu

Again, this was kinda just by process of elimination. Kiryu’s history with Yusei, Crow, and Jack kinda came out of nowhere but it’s still a good story. He’s an interesting take on the concept of extremism and while his actions in the past were horrific, I can still feel some sympathy for the guy.

8 Misty

I really like villains, what can I say? Misty just had this air of mystery to her in her early scenes, that made her really interesting to watch. Like when she told Carly she saw death in her future which I still can’t believe was foreshadowing, that’s so clever. Her backstory and Divine’s intervention did botch her somewhat but I still like her overall.

6 and 7 Lua/Rua (Dub name: Leo) and Luca/Luka/Ruca/Ruka (Dub name: Luna)

These twins’ names are so confusing. I’m putting every variation of their names but just know that I default to Lua and Luca. These two are in separate spots, it’s just kind of hard to talk about them separately because their story is so intertwined. Between them though, Luca’s the better one. I liked both of them instantly for being fun and feeling like real siblings (switching between being at each other’s throats and having each other’s backs) but I really didn’t like how Lua overshadowed Luca, especially in that Dark Signer duel. I don't mind it being their duel and Luca coming in part of the way through to duel alongside her brother but Luca was in the Spirit World for way too long. She barely got to do anything in the duel she was destined to fight. It felt like she was being intentionally cast aside. Also, Luca was just more interesting. Her connection to the spirit world was interesting before it felt like over-padded filler and she was the one with all the pressure on her, which is more relatable. Still, I like the twins' conflicting personalities and siblinghood. They were one of the few light-hearted elements of 5Ds, a reminder of what the protagonists are fighting to protect, something really important plot wise to me that 5Ds was really lacking in.

5 Crow Hogan

This was inevitable. I loved Crow taking in some orphaned kids and becoming very protective of them in Arc V, of course I love him being every orphaned Satellite child’s father in 5Ds. I love how he seems like just a sneaky street thief at first but then you see that he has a heart of gold, being a loyal friend to Yusei and Jack and a father figure to the kids in Satellite who had no one. Crow had no one as a kid before Yusei and Jack and the game of Duel Monsters and he wants to make sure no one ever feels that loneliness and it’s just… god, he’s so sweet and simultaneously badass.

4 Jack Atlas

Out of everyone on this list, Jack is probably the objective “best” character from a writing perspective. At the beginning of 5Ds, he was a selfish snob who only cared about his status as the king, which he was willing to do horrible things in order to gain and keep. He felt like a discount Kaiba to me, and his appearance in Arc V really didn’t help his case. Then he (predictably) loses to Yusei, leaving him injured and shamed. He isn’t the king anymore, which was clearly what he based his self-worth on and because of what he did to gain and keep that status, he has no one he can genuinely feel close to. Then he meets Carly. Even if you put aside the (canon) ship, Carly is undeniably essential to Jack's growth as a character. She was there for him during his loneliest time and told him exactly what he needed to hear to pick himself back up again and become a better person. They forged a deep connection in a short amount of time. It's really no wonder Jack is so protective of her. After this, Jack becomes a much more humbled and mature character, which I liked him more as. He's still the 'gruff tough guy' of the group but he genuinely cares for Yusei, Crow, and Carly and shows that care, even if it's sometimes not in the best ways. He's no longer someone who will sell out his friends for power. He proves it in the final duel when he refuses that call to power (from the guy who previously manipulated him) but even more so in his duel with Carly, where he was ready to die alongside her so Carly didn't have to die alone. I've discussed that duel and Jack and Carly's characters and relationship in depth in a previous post if you want more details. I'm also gonna talk more about it in Carly’s section. BUT BEFORE THAT-

3 Paradox

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, he shouldn't be this high up, I know, I KNOW. But you know what? Paradox does qualify for this list. Bonds Beyond Time and thus Paradox are canon to 5Ds. BBT is basically a 5Ds movie that sets up later plots of the show (I haven’t seen those plots but I know Paradox only cameos and the little details 5Ds gives us about him are things I know about) and I have been wanting to put Paradox on a list like this for months now. Let me have this one, I love this freaking guy. He survived through an apocalypse, watched everyone he knew and loved die because of a card game and decided to go back in time and slaughter the bastard who created this card game of death. It’s the perfect story for the villain for the big 10 year anniversary event that Bonds Beyond Time was. Because Paradox is 100% correct. Not in the murdering but in his reasoning. Duel Monsters is dangerous and destructive. We’d seen it for ten years before this movie and for over ten years after. The main characters do save the world from destruction with these cards but from villains who use those very same cards. Still, Paradox is going really far. Because he didn’t just kill Pegasus, he murdered countless innocent bystanders, with the very cards he hated and claimed destroyed his time by the way. Not to mention he’s dooming entire generations of people to never exist, something he probably didn’t think about until he was dying (which I’ll get to), but the fact that he sees this many innocent people as worthy sacrifices to his goal is pretty terrifying and hypocritical. And honestly, that’s really fascinating to me. His motivation is sympathetic but the way he’s going about it makes him a villain, a really vicious one. Still, I feel bad for him. Yugi, Judai, and Yusei don’t even seem to care about what happened to his time, they just insist the future isn’t set in stone, implying they don’t even believe him and that he’s lying or something (as if someone would go to those lengths for the shits and giggles). However, Paradox knows they’re wrong. He comes from a time far beyond their’s so he knows their actions can’t prevent the apocalypse because it already happened. (I don’t know if Yusei later fixes the hecking apocalypse in 5Ds, I would assume so but BBT Paradox wouldn’t know this anyway.) Paradox, from his perspective, is the only person who can fix the broken future he comes from. That’s why he’s willing to go so far and why he’s so blinded in his pursuit of this goal to see the harm he’s doing. In his final moment in the sub, he wonders if his extreme actions were really worth it, and if they would’ve actually changed anything. It was a moment I initially found silly before giving it more thought. Paradox was so fixed on his “noble” goal of destroying Duel Monsters and felt he was the only one with the power and the will to do so that he didn’t think he didn’t think about the other possible consequences his actions would bring.

So yeah, Paradox is a really interesting character to talk about. He’s also just really funny. He has a lot of funny quotes, particularly in the dub. For a quick example: “I would say you three put up a good fight only you didn’t.” He’s so sassy and sarcastic, I swear that’s the fastest way to my heart: being funny and snarky. I know the idea of putting him over characters like Jack and Crow is absurd, but like… the heart wants what it wants, sorry guys.

2 Carly Nagisa

Okay, back to characters people other than myself care about. While watching Yugioh series, I sometimes read the Crunchyroll comment sections of the episodes and when I did so for 5Ds, one thing I saw was a lot of Carly negativity, mainly people calling her annoying or useless. Now obviously, opinions be opinions and you’re all perfectly valid if you dislike Carly… but you’re all wrong, Carly’s fucking adorable. Annoying or adorable aside (since that’s subjective), one thing Carly definitely isn’t is useless. Like I said earlier, Carly was absolutely essential to Jack’s character growth And actually, he was essential to her growth in a similar way. In the beginning, Carly cared for nothing but getting the best scoop as a journalist because if she lost her job, she would end up homeless on the streets. That’s not speculation, that’s something she straight up says. It’s understandable that she’s desperate and willing to do things of questionable morality to keep her job. It’s out of need. Still, it led to her considering making Jack’s private inner turmoil public, which she tried to drag out of him by getting him to spend time with her. She, like Jack, was willing to do messed up things to preserve her status. Both of them realised this about themselves about the same time, which is why Carly was the only one who could help him out of his funk: she understood what he was going through. I know I go on and on about this ship but it really did vastly improve both of their characters. I didn’t like Jack much at all before this development and while I did find Carly cute pretty much instantly, she did bother me a little. Like, disguising herself as a nurse to sneak into a hospital and find one of the patients is… definitely weird. She does get less weird after that scene with Jack in the tower. She still sticks her nose into things that aren’t really her business… like a lot but it’s less out of selfishness, I feel. And even if the snooping around she did in Arcadia’s base was too far, it’s the thing that gets her KILLED. Yeah… Carly being killed and resurrected as a demon was a huge gut punch for me, both because it’s just harsh to have the sweet innocent cinnamon roll DIE (in a realistic way too, jesus christ) and become a demon and because I knew Yugioh was cruel enough to force Jack to duel Carly like this, and very likely kill Carly. I was right, and their duel is one of my favourites in any Yugioh series. However, there is one 5Ds character I prefer to both of them.

1 Aki Izayoi

Yeah, this was obvious. I made so many thirsty posts about her, you guys probably just think I put her at number one because I have a crush on her. First of all, I can’t tell which ones I have a crush on and which ones I don’t anymore, I kinda simp for this entire top five and second, Aki is the most relatable character in 5Ds and one of the most relatable in Yugioh overall. I didn’t go in depth with this in any of my posts as the reasons I relate to her are very personal, so I stuck to what was funny for the sake of the memes. For this though, I’ll try to explain it. I liked Aki the moment she was introduced. She was this mysterious powerful woman, who spoke in a completely emotionless tone during her duels, even as she was hurting people. She was… kind of intimidating, I’m not gonna lie. However, there were hints even early on that Aki was severely damaged inside. That numbness alone was a hint but also the way she spoke of her signer mark, the mask she wore being potentially symbolic, and some of her lines, like the one about physical scars healing but not scars of the heart. It caught my attention. I could tell they were trying to set her up as this traumatised emotionally closed off person… like I am. I saw the most broken parts of myself in Aki. She was always hiding her true feelings behind a metaphorical and literal mask and feeling alienated from the rest of society, which did nothing but shun her for her oddities. Also, I don’t want to go into any personal details, but Aki’s backstory with her parents was relatable too, which is why it frustrated me so personally that she was forced to forgive them. It wasn’t me wanting Aki to be miserable. I’m so incredibly glad she was able to recover and find happiness, I just wish the way the writers had gone about it had been different. Her forgiving her parents should’ve been left completely up to her and the point of her redemption should’ve been for her to forgive herself and not let her father’s abuse define her. You’re not a bad person if you don’t forgive people who hurt you. Forgiveness isn’t an obligation, it’s a gift to give. I just feel like the writers were sending a bad message with the way they treated Aki in that duel, a message that could legitimately hurt people in the real world.

But anyways back to Aki. She was underused by the show, which did actually make it pretty difficult to choose between her and Carly, whose arc ended in a more satisfying way if we ignore everything post Dark Signers. Which by the way, can I sidetrack for a second and say how well 5Ds actually wrote its female characters in this first half? There are a lot of female characters with varying personalities and many of them, Aki, Carly, Luca, and Misty are vital to the plot. Heck, half of this list is women. That’s more than any of the other shows. (I may be a man but female representation is important so shut it.) Anyways, while Aki was a little underused in my opinion, she was absolutely fantastic when she was there and her relatability does put her higher than Carly in my mind.

So overall, 5Ds may not have been my favourite show but when it’s good, it’s really damn good. The top five on this list are practically sacred to me

[mieohmy]

𝖴𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖮𝗎𝗋 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗌 | 𝖪𝗂𝗆 𝖲𝗎𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈

PAIRING: kim sunwoo x fem reader

GENRE: fluff, humor, angst, somewhat implied relationship?, hotel del luna! au, head manager! sunwoo, hotel owner! reader

WC: 3.9k

NOTES: like one mention of blood, ghosts, heavily hotel del luna inspired

happy bday to one of my ults 🎉 lovely sunwoo 🎉ugh i can’t get enough of him 🤧so here’s a pt. 2 to this hotel del luna fic you can read here ! 

you don’t have to read the first part to understand but it’s recommended!-  i mean it’s hdl sunwoo,,,, just saying. (also i’m not really sure where it lies in aspect to the original so just take it how you please ^^ )

✬

The girl groans. What happened?

She tries to recall what just occurred, but her head pounds in irritating waves of pain. 

I was walking down the stairs outside..... and then I must’ve tripped and fallen? 

She shrugs, getting up and cracking her suddenly sore and painful neck.  

While rolling her head around to loosen it up, her eyes land on a sign. A bright, neon flashing sign that would effectively grab anyone's attention. 

Huh, looks like a hotel. 

There’s no explainable reason, but the girl starts walking towards the entrance. 

Carefully opening the door, she peeks inside. Just from the beginning, the girl can tell it’s a magnificent and luxurious place. 

Now she suddenly gets the feeling that she’s not supposed to be here. But there’s no one around, so the girl continues on, still rubbing her stiff neck.

It’s beautiful- the biggest hotel she’s ever seen. Other people pass by, and she’s extremely horrified and confused by their appearances. 

What’s with all the fake blood and dirt? It all seems so real-

...It’s not Halloween today, right? 

The girl explores the place, finding more and more sights to see. She turns the corner, eyes wandering around until she accidentally bumps into someone, falling down. 

“Oof! I’m sorry-!”

You stare down at her, a bone-chilling glare on your face. “Who are you?”

Sunwoo follows behind you. “Hey, what's the matter?” His words and feet come to a halt when he sees you staring down at the girl.

There's a pause in which you all just stare at each other. 

Until his eyes widen. “Yuna?”

Everything clicks. “Kim Sunwoo?” she gasps. 

Your head whips to him. “You know her?”

Sunwoo seems so startled, his eyes never leaving her. “What are you doing here?”

The girl- or you should say, Yuna- stands up, nervously looking around. “I-I don’t know. I think I fell down the stairs and when I woke up, this place caught my attention, so I came inside. But since when did you work at hotels?”

Sunwoo fiddles with his tie, lip between his teeth. You keep your gaze on him, suddenly wanting to know more. 

Sunwoo knows this girl?

Why is he acting like this? 

What was their relationship with each other? 

“Yeah,” he nervously chuckles. “I do-” 

You cut him off with an obnoxious laugh. They both stare at you, surprised. “You two know each other?”

Sunwoo grimaces, “maybe we should go somewhere more appropriate for this.”

Once seated at your office desk, sunwoo explains everything. 

“We’re childhood friends, all the way until when I went to the United States for college.”

“We haven’t seen each other in forever,” she adds.

There’s an unpleasant feeling growing inside you. You don’t know what it is- you haven’t felt it in a long time. 

But what you do know is that you want her out of here. Nowhere near sunwoo. 

You want sunwoo away from her stupid smile and stupid laugh, utterly despising the way the two of them get along so well and engage in a conversation so naturally.

Your eye twitches when her hand comes in contact with sunwoo’s shoulder after laughing at one of his jokes. 

Sunwoo notices your brooding aura, turning to you with a knowing glance. “Is there something wrong?

“No, nothing at all, Manager Kim.” You enunciate each syllable slowly. 

He frowns at the way you formerly call his name, “really? It seems like you’re kinda bothered by something.”

You wish you could kill sunwoo right now in front of her. Truly, a sight to see.  “No,” you grit, even though there’s obviously something wrong. 

Yuna looks at sunwoo. “Is it me? Did I do something?”

Curse sunwoo and his stupid looks, always attracting other girls and-

“I'm not sure..  It’s not because of Yuna, right?”

His eyes bore into yours, the corners of his mouth tilted up, and you lose your patience, effectively crushing the piece of paper in your hands to bits.

“Well, she’s not even supposed to be here-”

You stop abruptly, horrified. 

Oh no. 

Sunwoo turns to you. “What did you just say? She’s not supposed to be here at the hotel??”

You feel a rush of heat. “What-ha, no. I didn’t-“

But sunwoo knows you better than you believed. His eyes narrow. “Miss y/l/n, I thought you were trying to be a better person.”

You scowl, wanting to object but he cuts you off. 

“If she isn’t meant to be here now, then that means she needs to leave,”  he looks you directly in the eye. “Because this is the fates’ plan, isn’t it?”

Your mouth drops open, but you close it, pursing your lips. 

“Fine.”

“Fine,” you say more forcefully, desperately craving your precious caviar and wanting to be anywhere but here. “This was a mistake. Her heart’s still beating. Tell her to leave quickly or else it won't be anymore.”

Yuna glances between the two of you, utterly bewildered. Sunwoo quickly turns to her. “It was nice to see you again Yuna, but I think you should leave right now.”

Her eyes widen. “Is there something wrong?”

You want to answer, “yes, you.” But instead, you just sigh.

“No. You just overstayed your leave. So get out.”

Sunwoo shoots you a look but it’s too late, you’re already (quite harshly) guiding Yuna out of the place. 

Once you reach the exit -the doors to the human world for Yuna to find her consciousness and body, as well as go back to living her normal life again, Sunwoo speaks up. 

“It was really nice to talk to you after a long time, Yuna. No offense, but I really hope I don’t have to see you again here.”

You just barely hold back a scoff. Yuna cocks her head but doesn’t comment on it. 

Once she steps over the threshold, she suddenly turns back to Sunwoo, her eyes lit up, “wait sunwoo, we should meet up some-“

You slam the door in her face.

You try not to show it, but you’re fuming inside. And Sunwoo can definitely tell. 

What’s so good about her?

It was really nice to talk to you again? 

Tch. Who says that?

That girl’s not even that pretty.

You shouldn’t have said anything about it not being her time here and just let the girl leave to the afterwor-

“Miss y/l/n-!”

You blink. “What?”

You want to slap that smug grin off Sunwoo’s face. “I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes, but you seem to be really distracted and upset even.”

You turn around, chin high. “No. I don’t know what you mean.”

“Well, I wanted to thank you.”

You look at him warily. “For what?”

“For doing the right thing.”

You scoff, continuing past him with your dress swishing behind you and heels clicking harshly against the ground. 

Sunwoo watches you go with a smirk. He wishes to keep this version of you in his pocket forever. 

✬

It doesn’t get any better the next day.

When Sunwoo comes in, you simply glance over him like he’s a ghost.

He’s annoyed of course, but at the same time amused and even endeared. Sunwoo likes seeing you jealous, even if you’d never admit it. 

“Miss y/l/n, one of the guests requested a specific meeting with you. He wants-“

“No,” you say coldly, fiddling with your vast collection of earrings. 

“But he-“

“Does he have money or any sort of offering?” You don’t look up even once from your array of sparkling beauties, and it frustrates Sunwoo greatly.

“Miss y/l/n.”

You finally stop moving at the stern tone of his voice. 

“You’ve been alive for how many years? I expected you to be a little more professional and put your personal feelings aside at work.” 

You splutter. “Personal feelings?!?”

You raise your pen at him threateningly, a fiery glint in your eyes. If it was anyone else, it wouldn’t seem scary. But it was you after all. 

“You know I don’t actually like her like that.”

That catches you off guard, making you falter with the pen still in your hand. 

“Someone else caught my interest.”

You furrow your eyebrows. Huh? Sunwoo likes someone? He has the time outside of his job to date? 

You suddenly blurt out, “Who?”

He smiles softly. “Someone who’s really greedy and needs a lot of attention. But it’s okay. I’m willing to give it to her.” 

Your chest tightens. 

Stubbornly, you tilt your head to the side, avoiding his strong gaze for the nth time while the room suddenly feels a bit hot to you. 

“Manager Kim, you’re still here?” The head maid’s voice catches your attention. She has a frown etched on her face, obviously unpleased. 

Sunwoo shifts. “Oh, I totally forgot about the time. It’s fine. I can stay longer if needed.”

She hits him softly. “Don’t be ridiculous, you should get some sleep for tomorrow. You don’t want to be tired and not have the energy to celebrate on your birthday, do you?”

You tense, looking at sunwoo curiously. “Birthday?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, my birthday is tomorrow. It’s not a big deal, I don’t really celebrate it,” he turns to the head maid again. “But since you insisted, I will go home and get some rest.”

He bids his goodbyes, softly giving you one last, ‘goodnight’, before turning to leave. 

Suddenly, a wave of guilt washes over from your childish actions, and you fall silent. 

You didn’t know it was his birthday tomorrow. 

You watch Sunwoo leave with an unreadable expression as the head maid looks at you knowingly. 

✬

Sunwoo gets home exhausted, more than he realized. 

To be honest, he completely forgot it was his birthday tomorrow. Since it was only his grandparents caring for him at a young age and his grandfather was at work most of the time, sunwoo didn’t really celebrate his birthday often. 

It wasn’t a big deal, he didn’t care. His birthday was just like any other day. 

When the head maid asked if the staff should prepare anything for him tomorrow, he politely declined. It felt wrong to celebrate when you were still ‘mad’ at him -not that he should've cared... 

Sunwoo shakes his head, clearing it from all thoughts of work and you. Yawning, he climbs into bed and falls into a deep slumber in record time. 

. . . 

riiiiiiinnnng~

Sunwoo groans. 

riiiiiiinnnng~

He rolls over, eyes barely peeking open. Who is calling at this ungodly hour? 

He clumsily reaches his phone, checking the time. 

2:57 am.

You’re joking, right? 

“Hello?” He cringes at the sound of his deep and raspy slumber voice. 

“Sunwoo.”

He’s immediately awake now at the sound of your voice. 

It’s quite faint and soft. 

What’s worse and even more worrying is that it's deadly calm.

“Y/n? What is it?”

“....can you come here? Now?”

He glances at the phone screen, confused until he sees a notification from you - ‘a location was shared with you’

Sunwoo’s too tired to think at this moment. He simply hangs up with an 'ok' and gets up to change.

He doesn’t really pay attention to the address, grabbing some random clothes- it’s 3am and sunwoo doesn’t feel like putting on his whole professional suit- before heading out.

It’s a strangely warm spring night, the bright stars twinkling in the sky catch his attention as he makes his way down the sidewalk. 

He has no clue where he's going, but he follows the directions to you nonetheless. 

✬

Sunwoo doesn’t know what to say.

Is he surprised?

Honestly, not really. 

Is he confused?

Yes. Very. 

Why would you invite him out to a restaurant in the early hours of the morning? 

It’s obviously closed- the windows dark- but knowing you, you probably unlocked the doors and got the food you wanted anyways. 

Sunwoo doesn’t know when the food ‘escapades’ started, but all he did know was that you were obsessed with watching that one eating show and liked to force sunwoo along with you to visit famous featured restaurants. 

When no one else was there, of course. 

So this isn’t that much of a surprise. That’s why sunwoo simply reaches for the handle- unlocked as expected- and heads inside.

Well, he was wrong. He was expecting the food. 

But he wasn’t expecting it to be all of his favorites. With a cake topped off with illuminating candles in the dark place. 

And you in the middle of it all, obviously bored and waiting for him. (Sunwoo wouldn’t dare say this out loud, but he thought you looked ethereal sitting at the table, starlight shining down and glowing around you. In short- he ironically thought you looked like an angel.)

“What is this?”

You sit up, groaning. “Finally. I was about to start eating without you.”

He looks at everything that you must’ve set up. 

“Did.... did you do all of this?”

You shift uncomfortably from his intense gaze.

“Yes. Why?” Your voice turns into your normal bossy and annoyed tone. “You think I wouldn’t be capable enough to do this?” 

He shakes his head. “No, I didn’t say that. I’m just shocked. After all, it's so early in the morning.” 

You inhale, recalling the events that led up to this. After sunwoo left for the night, you had a horrible feeling in your gut for some reason. No -there’s no way you could be feeling guilty? You chided yourself, saying you were just being stupid, and went to bed. 

But his nonchalant face kept popping up in your mind, leading you further and further from sleep, and you had no choice but to furiously get out of your extremely comfortable, plush bed and stomp out to find a suitable restaurant.

And here you were now. The two of you alone in a closed restaurant with a cornucopia of food at 3 in the morning.

“Did you plan this with the head maid? Is that why you made me go home early and get some rest?”

“No,” you scoff. He stares at you for a solid minute before you glare indignantly at him back. “It wasn’t planned!” 

You look down at your perfectly manicured nails, suddenly avoiding eye contact. “I felt bad that I didn’t know it was your birthday and made you work overtime....” you gruffly respond. 

Sunwoo looks around the restaurant. 

It’s not the best, he notes. The banner is crooked, and the confetti everywhere is quite honestly getting on his nerves already, but he still feels warm. His heart grows for you and only you once again. 

“Thank you, y/n.” His use of your actual name makes your insides flutter - it’s the way you know he’s truly being sincere. 

“I really appreciate everything you did for me.”

His voice sounds so touched and grateful -you hate it. Because it makes your heart (if you even still had one at this point) feel weird too. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you grumble. 

He stifles a laugh. 

“Are you just gonna stand there, or are we gonna eat all the food I prepared for you?”

He blinks. “Right.”

Sitting next to you at one of the tables, sunwoo examines the pretty cake you got. 

“How are the candles not going out?”

You roll your eyes, getting your phone out to record a video. “They’re fake, I created them. Hurry and blow it out,” you command. 

You quickly add, “I’m not singing the dumb song either.” 

You press the record button, corners of your mouth curving upward when Sunwoo closes his eyes tightly to make a wish before blowing. The candles effectively go out with a whoosh, leaving you two in the dark. 

You end the video, saving it to keep. 

Sunwoo pouts, “we’re not gonna take any photos together?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Why?” 

If anything, his pout increases. “It’s my birthday.....”

You let out a long sigh before taking your phone out again and opening the camera. Scooting your chair over to his, you lift the camera to capture the two of you.

Posing, you’re about click the button when Sunwoo suddenly jerks your chair much closer to his, causing you to start and look at him in surprise. 

He grins. “What are you waiting for? Are you gonna take the photo?”

You grumble, nervously swallowing once you realize how close the two of you are through the camera screen. 

You get several photos, most of them bad, but you keep them for memories anyways. Sunwoo wants to laugh at how pretty and innocent you seem in the photos compared to real life. 

You’re about to put your phone away, but Sunwoo begs for one more. 

Rolling your eyes, you put up with him -just for today. 

Raising the camera, you smile cutely one last time, about to click the shutter button, when you feel a pair of arms wrap around you, pulling you back until your back meets a warm chest. 

You freeze, face turning to shock as you hear the button sound. After the photo’s taken, Sunwoo casually drops the hug, completely unaffected as he goes back to the food. 

You stay still, the ghost of his warmth around you still lingering. 

“Miss y/l/n, are you gonna eat?”

“H-huh?” You quickly spin around to see sunwoo digging into the food already. You fight back a smile at the sight. 

While you two eat, sunwoo stares at you.

“What?” You wipe your face in case there’s food or something on it.

He chews. “Nothing. I’m still surprised you did something for my birthday after I said not to.”

You sit up straighter, your voice suddenly serious. 

“Your life should be celebrated. Everyone’s life should be celebrated. It’s a precious gift to still be living and breathing on this earth. So enjoy it while you can,” you state.

Sunwoo swallows, looking down with a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

A peaceful silence occurs for a couple minutes.

“Hey,” sunwoo speaks up, “I think this is the first birthday I’ve had while working for you.” 

You slowly nod. 

And it could be the last. 

You don’t say it out loud, but the thought burns deep within. Not wanting to think such somber things on sunwoo's birthday, you clear your throat, taking your phone out to look at the photos.

The last one makes your breath hitch. 

Sunwoo’s arms are wrapped tightly around you, his face happy and content and eyes shining prettily. Your eyes are wide, lips parted in a small ‘o’. 

Quickly, you turn off your phone, watching sunwoo finish his food. 

“Are you done?”

He nods, a content sight leaving his lips. 

“Finally, I thought I was gonna fall asleep,” you snort. You pull a medium-sized bag out of nowhere, it’s quite plain and simple. 

“Huh? What is that?”

You try to seem neutral. “It’s just something I saw that looked pretty.”

Sunwoo's eyebrows raise. 

“But it didn’t match the fancy aesthetic of my room, so you can have it,” you add hastily. 

He coughs. 

Roughly, you shove hand him the bag. 

Sunwoo gently takes out the wrapping paper, examining the ‘present’ you got him.

It’s some weird contraption. That’s the first thing he thinks of. As he examines it more closely, he realizes there are stars and constellations decorating it. 

“....what is this?”

You try to act nonchalant. “It’s just a decoration you can hang from your ceiling. And I got it charmed to protect you from angry spirits and whatever. I don’t know.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widen. 

You got this as a present for him? 

When he doesn’t respond, you sigh and reach out to take it back.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll just give it to someone else, sheesh.”

“No!” Sunwoo practically shouts, protectively shielding it from your grasp. 

You gape at him. 

He blushes. “I-I like it a lot.”

You clear your throat, trying to shrug it off, but sunwoo leans in. 

You freeze. 

Is he gonna-?

Instinctively, your eyes squeeze shut. You wait. And then a warm feeling lands on your cheek for a couple of seconds before leaving. 

After some time, you deem it safe to open your eyes. And come in contact with sunwoo staring back at you, an indescribable emotion deep in his eyes. 

You can’t find it in yourself to look away for some reason. 

Then a sudden noise outside- probably a stupid owl- startles the two of you.

You start laughing nervously. “Ha, I think we should clean up now, haha.”

He chuckles. “But I want to do that again.” You almost drop your phone, spluttering. “Kim Sunwoo!”

He rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s Manager Kim.” 

“W-whatever... just help me clean up!”

After you finish cleaning, sunwoo requests for you to tell him a story. 

So you close your eyes and think back to when his grandfather worked for you. And start talking of one of the crazy episodes that constantly occurred back then. Somewhere in the middle of it, you come back to your senses and find sunwoo asleep, cheek against the table. 

You stare at him with a fond look. 

“Come on,” you whisper, picking him up easily. “Let’s go home.”

You eventually get him into his bed, quietly as to not disturb his sleeping roommate. 

Sunwoo must’ve woken up because he calls your name. You look down at him, sleepily blinking back at you. “Will you hang up my present for me?”

You scoff, but already are you reaching for the gift. 

“Where do you want it?” You ask, but sunwoo’s already passed out again. 

Rolling your eyes, you hang it right above him from the ceiling, near his bed. 

For a minute, all you can do is admire sunwoo, the stars shining above and creating a beautiful glow around him. He looks so peaceful when sleeping, like the little kid he once was. And honestly still kind of is. 

You sit down next to him on the bed, gently brushing his bangs out of his eyes. 

I know we don’t speak our feelings to each other often, but seeing you happy is enough for me. 

You smile softly at his sleepy pout. “Happy birthday, sunwoo,” you whisper. But before you can leave, a hand swiftly wraps around your wrist. You look down. 

“Stay the night. It’s too late for you to be out. Stay next to me,” he mumbles.

You know that he knows you’re well able to take care of yourself at any time, but still, you can’t find it in yourself to say no. 

You slowly make your way over, tucking yourself under the covers, and sunwoo automatically wraps his arms around you. 

It’s warm. He’s warm. 

You probably shouldn’t be doing this. 

But it’s his birthday.  

What if his roommate comes in and sees? 

Although all those thoughts run through your mind, you find yourself drifting off under the stars, not caring. Underneath the luminescent gift you gave him that hangs from the ceiling, twinkling brightly over the two of you.

Just for tonight. 

✬

Bonus ㅠㅠ: 

“Aren’t the stars so pretty tonight?” you remark. 

Sunwoo stares at you, never looking away. “Yeah.”

“A shame that the moon is hiding this peaceful night.”

“And what about the sun?” he jokes. 

Your eyes flick towards him. 

The sun is right here next to me, you internally answer.  

My sun that always shines so brightly over me is you, Kim Sunwoo. 

✬

a/n: guys im not lying i almost cried writing this and thinking about Hotel del Luna,, i miss it sm ;-;

reminder- any kind of feedback is always appreciated :)

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Road Not Taken (one-shot)

Part of the Stray Wolves Series

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Bang Chan (SKZ)

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Language, Lots of dirty talk, breeding kink, mentions of knotting, heavy degradation...basically, this is pure filth (but only at the end)

Word Count: 5.5 K

Genre: Werewolf AU; Marriage AU

Summary: It’s true that Bang Chan, the legendary pack alpha of the Stray Wolves, had never felt the need to take a mate until he met Y/N, the much-younger she-wolf who stole his heart. As the pack alpha’s mate, there are certain expectations that she must meet in her position, but she’s still learning while also getting into trouble with her close friends Seungmin and Jeongin. 

Honestly speaking, the concept of mates and mating had never held any influence over me until the day I officially presented as an Omega. Suddenly, the idea of growing old with someone while taking care of our pups seemed like a scenario that I desperately needed in my life. Consequently, it consumed all of my dreams involving the future, but I still didn’t expect a proposal from my pack alpha whose dimpled smile made me feel incredibly special.

For starters, Chan was much older than me, and he was friends with my older brother, Jisung, who was caught off-guard by our sudden romance. You see, Chan became pack alpha after our last leader formally retired, and he had been serving in his place for many years. It was always customary for the pack alpha to find a mate, but Chan didn’t seem to favor the traditional approach. In fact, many of my pack members thought that he would never find a mate.

At least, until Chan approached me one morning after the two of us spent the day hunting together, which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Despite being Jisung’s friend, Chan and I were fairly close, and I liked spending time with him because he never saw me as a younger member who still needed time to mature. And maybe I was young and reckless, but Chan never treated me like I was something to coddle, even if his overprotective instincts occasionally intervened.

When I officially mated with Chan, the entire pack was shocked. It seemed somewhat scandalous considering our age-gap and the numerous women who Chan had passed on throughout his tenure as alpha. But Chan had never concerned himself with the opinions of others, and he simply brought me into his life like I had always belonged next to his side.

It was an enormous responsibility, and I was still learning how to properly navigate the complexities of my responsibilities as pack Luna, especially in consideration of my age. But I wanted to do my best for Chan since he was giving me everything that I wanted, and, for the most part, I stayed on my best behavior for him, even if it was sometimes hard to resist the occasional moment of mischief. Especially when my friends Seungmin and Jeongin were involved, and they were a big part of the reason why our little trio had been deemed the pack’s troublemakers.

Maybe that’s why Chan always hesitated whenever I brought them up in conversation, and I carefully studied my mate from the warmth of our bed as dressed himself in regular clothes. “What are your plans, love?” he asked while busying himself with the buttons on his shirt.

“I don’t know,” I answered mindlessly. “I’ll probably just spend the day with Seungmin and Jeongin.”

Chan grimaced at the mention of their names, adjusting the leather strap of his belt as he considered me with dark eyes. “Just be careful,” he said, approaching the bedside to lean down and inhale deeply against my neck. 

“I’m not a kid,” I grumbled against his touch, squirming around on the mattress.

“I know you’re not,” Chan said, smirking when he pulled back. “But it’s my job to worry about you.”

“You don’t have to worry all the time,” I protested, but Chan’s smile was still warm as he left our shared bedroom, and I waited until I could hear the sound of the front door closing before jumping out of bed.

When I was barely of age to leave my mother’s side, I met Seungmin and Jeongin by accident. Apparently, the younger two pups had formed a formiddable alliance, and they always did their best to push the limits of their mother’s patience. They were brothers by blood, but they were also best friends, and I never thought that I would find a place in their dynamic.

However, when we met for the very first time, I found out that Seungmin and Jeongin shared a lot of the same mischievous nature that often resulted in my mother apologizing to the older wolves who complained when I disrupted their frequent slumber. Because of our natural inclinations for mischief, I found myself joining the brothers as we wrecked havoc and mayhem on our other pack members who were certainly not impressed by our hijinks.

I’m sure my past behavior contributed to my pack’s hesitance when Chan accepted me as his mate. After all, they would be expected to show the pack Luna respect, but that was hardly feasible considering who I liked to keep in close company. Initially, Chan had tried to discourage our meetings by forcing Jeongin and Seungmin to join as many hunting and border patrols as he could manage. But we still found ways to see one another, and I think Chan gradually decided that he couldn’t stop the inevitable, even if his most recent warning to the brothers had forced them to reconsider some of our more impressive pranks...

“Are you sure about this?”

There was a slight note of trepidation in Seungmin’s tone, and it matched the look of insecurity on his face as we stood outside of the abandoned house in the woods. It was fabled among our pack’s younger members to be haunted, and some of the elder had warned us that it was strictly off-limits which, of course, stoked my curiosity. So, I scoffed at his hesitation because both Seungmin and Jeongin had been excited to talk about visiting the house last night. Yet, confronted with the real thing, they were both suddenly the world’s biggest cowards.

“Come on, guys, we all want to know what’s inside,” I said, reaching back for Seungmin’s hand. 

“Yeah, but if it’s something bad...” Jeongin trailed off, and his eyes widened with a sudden realization. “What if Chan finds out?”

“He’ll never know,” I assured him. “Let’s just go inside and look around.”

I started forward without an ounce of hesitation, walking up the front steps of the house’s porch with confidence. I could also hear Seungmin and Jeongin following me from behind, and I took that as a good sign that my friends has refused to feel intimidated by my alpha’s attempts to ruin our fun. After all, what’s the worst that could happen in an abandoned house?

With this in mind, I reached out to open the front door, and it was unsurprising when I found it unlocked, allowing it to fall back against the hinges. The inside of the house was musty and old, and there was a foul smell in the air like the house was hiding something that was slowly rotting away. Whatever it was, I nearly gagged around the smell as it assaulted by sensitive nose, looking back over at Seungmin and Jeongin who both wore matching expressions of disgust.

“Where is that coming from?” Seungmin asked, and I allowed him to take the lead as we walked into the first room.

It appeared to be some form of kitchen, and I could identify dozens of places that might generate such a foul-smelling stench. “This place is disgusting,” Jeongin said. 

“What did you expect?” I snorted. 

“It’s really cold too,” Jeongin remarked, and I startled when I realized that he was right, and that was a bit strange considering the weather outside.

Nevertheless, I continued my exploration of the house, leaving the kitchen and approaching some of the rooms at the back of the house. I heard Jeongin and Seungmin laughing at something in the kitchen, but I paid them no mind as I opened the door to the first room.

It wasn’t anything special, but there was a bed in the middle of the floor and a closet near the heavily boarded-up window. I exhaled slowly, walking across the creaking floorboards as I noticed something strangely familiar tickling my senses. My wolf was suddenly on high-alert, and I was trying to look for anything that might be triggering the hair-raising response to whatever I was smelling that was right on the edge of my consciousness...

“Y/N!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin, spinning around on my heel at the sound of Jeongin’s high-pitched shrill. “Hey!” I shouted, leaving the bedroom door wide open as I retraced my steps to the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“Y/N.” Seungmin’s voice was hushed, and the two boys were standing shoulder-to-shoulder in a defensive posture. I stood on my toes to look over them, and I felt my breath hitch at the back of my throat because standing at the entrance to the kitchen was a man. But I knew immediately that he wasn’t just an ordinary human who happened upon the house...

“Vampire,” I whispered, but not like our neighbors who lived in the mountains. These were rogue vampires who had been cast aside, and they were left without the necessary vampire bonds and fresh sources of blood required to sustain them. It certainly explained the metallic smell that had been all over that bedroom, and it provided justification for the lack of sunlight penetrating the inside. 

This vampire was in the late stages of decay, and his blood-red eyes revealed that he was in no mood for our playful adventure. In fact, I could detect the hunger in his gaze, and I reached for Seungmin’s arm because I knew that we were in trouble.

“We need to get outside,” Jeongin said, and I nodded in response. 

Because this vampire would not last in the sun, and it was our only possible form of salvation since there was no fighting a desperate vampire. 

“Start walking the other way,” Seungmin said, and the three of us started to back up carefully, keeping the vampire in our line of sight as we tried for another means of escape.

However, I had taken no more than a couple of steps backwards when I felt another cold blast hit me from behind. I immediately stopped, and it caught Seungmin’s attention. He turned around to confront me, but his eyes widened and I knew that he had found the source of that chilly presence.

There was more than one vampire in this house. 

“We’ll have to fight,” I said, and Jeongin whimpered at the idea.

“Stay close,” Seungmin said, and we formed a protective circle as the Vampires started to approach, fangs bared and with sinister snarls interrupting the quiet of the kitchen.

I held my breath, waiting for the right opportunity to shift, when I heard Seungmin let out a warning growl, and I realized too late that the first vampire had launched himself at my friends. Our circle was broken, and I nearly lost my balance at the force thrown against me from behind. Yet, it also created the perfect opportunity for the second Vampire who quickly took advantage of the distraction. 

I fell to the ground hard, groaning at the pain jolting through my shoulder from the impact. But I was given no time to consider my injuries as my adrenaline kicked in and affected all of my concentration. It was enough to take my mind away from the fall, but not enough to muster an offensive strike. I was left playing defense with a rabid Vampire who knew that I was much weaker on my own. 

I whimpered as the Vampire stood over me, teeth glinting menacingly as he hissed in my direction. I closed my eyes at the harsh sound, ready to accept my fate at the hands of the cruel Vampire, when a familiar howl broke through the haze of fear and confusion. And I realized with a barely-restrained gasp that an enormous jet-black wolf had suddenly attacked the Vampire, saving my life. I took a moment to catch my breath before using the counter to help myself stand up again, looking around the room at my pack members fighting the Vampires who had almost successful in their campaign.

I winced when I realized that the familiar jet-black wolf was my mate, and he was savage in his assault. Yet, at the same time, I realized that Chan was not inflicting much damage to the Vampire - almost like he didn’t want to harm it. I was puzzled by the consideration, but a quick tug on my arm alerted me to Changbin, our pack Beta, who was yelling at me to join the others outside.

I immediately obeyed his order, trying to avoid the Vampires and Werewolves engaged in heavy conflict, noticing that more Vampires had somehow joined the attack. But the escalating situation was left behind for the much-needed sunlight, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I found Seungmin and Jeongin unharmed. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I said, allowing them to wrap their arms around me in familiar embrace.

“Y/N,” Seungmin said, looking at me with concerned eyes. “The house is protected by King Felix. It’s meant to provide a place for rogue Vampires to die in peace.”

I swallowed hard at the mention of the Vampire King who Chan had tried so hard to maintain good relations. “What have we done?” I asked, turning around at the sound of an all-too familiar voice.

Of course it was Chan, walking with our pack members as they diligently followed their alpha. He was talking to an older Vampire, one who I had never noticed before, and she was positively enraged as she practically screamed in my mate’s face. Apparently, the situation had evolved into something that held far more consequences, and I had never felt so ashamed.

When Chan came closer, I shivered at the rage in his eyes, and I refused to meet his gaze when he pulled me behind him. “We’ll talk later,” he growled, reminding me of the intimidating alpha who was feared throughout the neighboring packs.

“King Felix marked these lands as neutral,” the older Vampire said. “And you agreed.”

Chan stepped forward, keeping his hands behind his back as he addressed the elderly woman who sneered at my pack mates. “I’m sorry for their intrusion,” Chan said, bowing low at the waist. “It won’t happen again.”

“I hope not,” the old woman said. “You should train your pups to behave.”

I could feel myself blushing at being categorized as a pup when, as the pack alpha’s mate, I was expected to be one of the most mature members. It had a chastening effect, and I cowered behind Chan with my wolf’s tail metaphorically caught between my legs. Surely, everyone else in the pack would find out about our misadventure, and if they thought the same thing as this older vampire...

I shivered, resisting the urge to whine and lean into Chan’s familiar weight.

“They’ll be disciplined,” Chan reassured the vampire, glancing at me from the corner of his eye with a look that screamed punishment. 

“I’ll let this go since it’s your first infraction and my vampires weren’t harmed,” she said. “But if I catch any of your wolves out here again...”

She closed her eyes as if she wanted to control her latent rage. But Chan understood the inherent warning. “The agreement was made for everyone’s protection,” Chan said. “This is the last time you will see wolves here.”

The older vampire snorted before retreating inside the house, and I tried not to whine when Chan took a firm hold of my arm, pulling me along next to him as we returned to camp for the evening.

The pack alpha’s cabin was located strategically at the back of our defined camp where Chan and I could find privacy together. I usually savored the distance from my pack mates, but I was feeling increasingly wary following my embarrassing blunder with the rogue vampires. The idea of spending unsolicited time alone with Chan was suddenly an intimidating prospect. 

Still, it wasn’t in my nature to avoid my mistakes, and I followed Chan inside our shared cabin. He paused at the entrance to remove his shoes before heading in the direction of our bedroom, and I quickly followed his lead. Even as my wolf cautioned us to approach carefully, I didn’t want to exhibit that kind of behavior around Chan because it would only contribute to my immature image.

“Hey,” Chan finally addressed me, standing in front of our dresser. “Sit down.”

I held my tongue, eliminating the few steps to the edge of our bed where I deposited myself on top of the mattress. My weight sunk down into the foamy material, and I supported myself back on my arms, waiting for Chan to speak again. In the meantime, I fought the desire to try and explain myself since I knew that speaking out of term would only infuriate my older mate.

“What did your mother teach you about Vampires?” Chan asked. “Or, did you not pay attention?”

I flinched at his cruel tone. “She told me they were our enemies and that I should avoid them.”

“Did she?” Chan questioned. “Because your actions suggest that you ignored that lesson.”

“I’m sorry, Chan,” I said, deciding that, instead of justifying my bad behavior, I should try and appeal to him instead.

“I don’t really think you are,” Chan scoffed, looking at me from over his shoulder. “In fact, I’m wondering if you were even serious when you agreed to be my mate.”

I shuddered at his claim. “How can you say that? I love you, Chan.”

“You can love me and still be unprepared for the responsibilities of pack Luna,” Chan said. “Otherwise, you would think twice before putting yourself in situations where you could send a bad example to the rest of our pack.”

“I’m ready,” I insisted. “I want to be a good mate for you.”

“Then you better start proving that those aren’t just empty promises,” Chan growled, and I was thoroughly unprepared for his sharp tone. “What if you had gotten hurt? Those rogues weren’t able to control themselves, and you put yourself and your friends in danger.”

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt,” I said. “It was a mistake.”

“I’m so glad you realize that,” Chan said with heavy sarcasm. “Why didn’t that cross your mind before taunting a group of vampires?” 

“We didn’t know that there were vampires in the house!”

“Have you lost the ability to smell?” Chan snapped. “Why didn’t you take precautions?”

“I-I guess we weren’t thinking about that,” I said, stumbling over my answers to his difficult questions.

Chan sighed, turning around to look at me before his eyes grew darker, and I found myself on the receiving end of an approaching alpha with malicious intent. Instinctively, I crawled backwards on the bed, colliding against the headboard while Chan closed the distance between us, looming over top of me with one hand wrapping itself around my throat. It wasn’t enough to cause harm, but to send a message:  “One second,” Chan said. “That’s all they need to snap this pretty neck.”

I swallowed hard, and I could feel my throat constricting from his powerful grip. “Channie,” I whispered. “You don’t know how sorry I am.”

He closed his eyes, leaning in closer to inhale sharply against my scent gland. “What if I had lost you?” 

The words sent shivers down my spine because I could feel the heavy and warm humidity of his breath coating my skin. I stiffened from my position underneath him, suddenly realizing that Chan’s concerns went beyond potential conflict with the vampires. Those rogues would likely never attack an entire pack of wolves unprovoked, but the delicate balance of life and death hung on a narrow precipice when it involved younger wolves playing foolish games. “I’m still here,” I assured him, releasing calming pheromones to alleviate the ripe smell of fear masking his usual scent.

“You can’t do these things anymore,” Chan said, lifting his head to look at me. “Do you understand?”

I nodded in response, keeping steady contact with his stormy gaze. “I’ll be better for you, Chan.”

He sighed, and there was a sudden change taking hold of his demeanor, hardening the corners of his eyes and the harsh upturn to his upper lip. The transformation was subtle, but his scent was becoming thicker, a reminder of something dominant lurking beneath Chan’s soft, curly hair and dimpled smile. I knew better than to push him in this state, so I simply bared my throat, relaxing my arms across the bed.

“Such a good bitch when she wants to be,” Chan growled, and I swallowed hard, eyelids fluttering closed when his nose pressed into my swollen scent gland. His teeth nipped the delicate flesh, and I could feel his tongue tracing the ridges of his faded mark. Chan released another warning snarl, telling me to keep still for him while he examined my body with wide, studious eyes. Under any other circumstances, I would’ve considered it intimate, but there was something that Chan wanted to prove, and he was waiting for the right opportunity.

I watched as he explored my smaller figure, hands gliding along my waist while his nose inhaled along his journey south, exciting my senses and the wolf inside of me who was impressed by her mate’s display of alpha dominance. However, I couldn’t help but think that it was embarrassing to feel his nose press into the private junction between my thighs, and I squeezed my legs around his head when his tongue attempted to lap at me through the fabric of my pants. Chan growled, lifting his head to send me a warning look, pushing open my legs to continue his exploration of the place where my scent was most prominent. 

I had no idea what Chan’s motivations were, and this unfamiliar territory was making my inner wolf increasingly desperate. However, I knew better than to question him, and perhaps it was nothing more than a display of strength meant to send me a warning against disobeying him. Whatever it was, I certainly liked the attention, even if it was difficult to fight the temptation to run my hands through his hair.

Eventually, Chan sat back on his heels, watching me through narrowed eyes. “Take off your clothes,” he said.

I squirmed on top of the mattress in pure delight, eager to please Chan since I knew that our argument was, more or less, finished, and he was clearly waiting to re-stake his claim. “Okay,” I replied, complying with his order as I unbuttoned my shirt and jeans, removing them with careful movements. Then, I let the bundle of clothes fall into the floor before I adjusted my position again, keeping my arms splayed out across the sheets.

Meanwhile, his eyes swept across my naked form before Chan’s evaluation continued, but this time he was undeterred by the barrier of my clothing, and everything felt heightened without them in place to stop him from attacking smooth flesh with his teeth. Nipping at the sensitive skin and leaving marks that would remain visible for days. 

His hands also made themselves comfortable on my hips, holding me in place while his mouth did most of the work, tasting my scent gland until I was light-headed from his efforts. When he pulled away to catch his breath, I recognized the oily residue from my scent gland painting his lips. It was an erotic sight, and my wolf howled in delight when she could smell our intermingling scents permeating the air around us.  

And I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Chan’s mouth until he reached down for the hem of his shirt, tossing it aside to reveal his sculpted torso - nothing but defined planes of hardened muscles. It was a beautiful distraction, and I didn’t even notice when his jeans disappeared next, leaving him in nothing but the boxer shorts that did very little to hide the evidence of his arousal. My mouth immediately started to water, and I could feel myself practically salivating at the prospect of his thick cock hiding beneath a layer of fabric.

“You have a beautiful body,” Chan said, and I beamed at his compliment. My smile didn’t last, however, when he ghosted his tongue over one of my nipples, staring up at me from a curtain of long lashes. I watched his hands as they reached out to squeeze my breasts, testing their weight with a heavy groan. “They’ll be even bigger full of milk for our pups.” 

I inhaled sharply at the mention of pups because every instinct desired nothing more than to breed with my mate. It was a result of centuries of survival genes embedded within our DNA, and our inner wolves wanted to pass them onto our children for the next generation. For most werewolf couples, they always wanted the same thing, and Chan had only spoken to me briefly about having pups in the future. But Chan was responding to his alpha’s natural inclination to breed his mate, and he growled at the back of his throat, tugging on my nipple with his fingers while his tongue prodded at the hardened peak. 

“It hurts,” I whined, even though I was aroused by his practiced tongue attempting to soothe the harsh sting of his sharpened canines.

Chan glanced up at me before pulling away to survey his work, nodding in satisfaction before moving down my body once again. I could never predict his next movement, and I gasped when he started to nose against my pubic bone, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin. This time, he could inhale my scent straight from the source, and it didn’t take long for his tongue to lick a long stripe against my slit. 

Immediately, I arched my back in response to the pleasurable sensation, closing my eyes as his hands tightened their grip on my hips and forced his tongue inside my pussy, eating me out like he couldn’t get enough of my taste. I whined at his aggression, and more of my juices collected down the inside of my thighs. Chan purred when he realized, and he slurped loudly around my clitoris, bringing the engorged bud between his teeth. 

I wrapped my fingers through his hair, making a mess of whatever style he had attempted. But it only made Chan look even more appealing, and he rumbled deep in his chest as he chased after my taste, lapping at my juices as if trying to consume every last drop. “Y/N,” Chan said, and his voice was husky and guttural.

“It feels so good,” I said, and Chan hummed around me, supporting himself higher on his arms so that I could moan at the sight of the wetness surrounding his mouth. 

“Get on your hands and knees for me,” Chan requested. 

I nodded, turning onto my side and trying my best to support my upper body on thin arms and trembling legs. I wasn’t surprised by Chan’s request because the position was the ultimate sign of submission, and it was most often used during heats and ruts since it was best for breeding. The thought had me shivering, dropping my head against the pillows as I felt one of Chan’s hands run down the smooth expanse of my back.

I jerked forward when he landed a quick slap to my ass, and I let him mount me, legs caging my thighs between his stronger ones, moaning when the fat head of his cock brushed against my ass. His actions were incredibly rough, and I could smell his thick alpha scent as it clouded the air with a cloying mixture of fresh pine and something much darker. But I was also surprised by my body’s compliance, allowing Chan to press against my lower back and force me into an arch. 

“Are you ready?” he asked, and I hummed in acknowledgment, groaning when he slid in without resistance, and my pussy swallowed his cock greedily, desperate to milk him of everything that he had to offer me. “What a tight pussy,” he commented, forcing himself inside the rest of the way with a slight hint of desperation. 

I moaned when I realized that he was completely buried inside my wet heat, and I could practically feel the tip of his cock against the head of my cervix. There was nothing comparable to the feeling of fullness weighing heavily on my lower body, and I curled my fingers into the sheets to stop myself from rutting back against his cock. “Chan,” I said, shaking my head as tears started to form.

“Be patient, Y/N,” Chan said, and he pulled his hips back so that just the tip of his cock remained before slamming back inside with an unprecedented amount of force. I was completely unprepared because my legs weren’t strong enough to hold me up against his vicious thrust, and I fell forward against the bed - turning my head to the side to breath as Chan continued his rapid thrusts inside of my pussy. 

“Is this what you want?” Chan growled, nipping at the back of my neck. “Do you want me to stuff you full of pups?” I whined at his words, even if I knew that it was impossible outside of my regular heats. “You’d look so good after I bred you,” Chan said, pumping his hips faster as if he was trying to make that idea a reality. “Like a good little bitch.”

I cried at his filthy language, burying my face further into the mattress as I let Chan do whatever he wanted to me, moving me along his cock like I was just a warm hole for him to use whenever the moment was convenient. “Oh god,” I whispered as he switched angles, hitting my g-spot perfectly on every upward thrust.

“Maybe if you’re swollen with my pups, you won’t get into any more trouble,” Chan snarled, and I whimpered when his hand smoothed across my lower body as if imagining the swell of my bloated stomach.

“Please,” I said, reaching down for his hand to move it closer to my clitoris, encouraging Chan to touch me while he continued to pound into me over and over again, pushing his cock deep inside to the point where I could imagine feeling him at the back of my throat.

It was an abrupt descent from there, and he continued to stimulate my g-spot and clitoris perfectly because he knew my body so well after all this time together. Still, my orgasm hit me like a freight train, and I nearly screamed at the intensity, noticing stars along the edges of my vision. There was no strength left in my body, and I collapsed into a pile of heavy limbs while Chan continued to chase his own orgasm, growling when his knot started to swell in place. I whimpered, closing my eyes because it was starting to overstimulate my exhausted body, but Chan held me in place and sighed as he filled me with his cum.

For a moment thereafter, I was convinced that I would pass out, but I was able to control my breathing and steady my accelerating heart rate, feeling Chan fall onto the bed next to me. “Hold still,” Chan rumbled, adjusting my leg over his hip as he pulled me tighter against his chest, fingers petting over the place where his knot was securely stuffed inside my sore cunt. 

“Channie,” I whined, and it was a pathetic sound resulting from the steady feeling of his cum pulsing from his engorged length and the harsh way that he handled me, like he could fix me into any position that he desired.

“Are you gonna cause me any more trouble?” Chan growled directly into my ear, and my inner wolf howled at our predicament. There was no better way for Chan to assert his dominance - locking me onto his knot in submission, and lowering the regular pitch of his voice.

“No,” I managed, stuttering around a broken moan when Chan started to grind his hips, stimulating my throbbing clitoris to the point where it actually began to feel painful.

“Maybe I should just knot you all the time like this,” Chan said. “Then you can’t wander off without telling me.”

I gasped at the suggestion, turning my head to the side to expose my neck to him. It was a vulnerable position, but it pleased Chan who started heavily scenting the mark he had left on me - a permanent reminder that I belonged to him.

It was also a visible reminder of my place in the pack, and I was determined to stand proudly next to Chan’s side.

[candy-man91]

Ron and Draco: True Nemeses

So I'm a big fan of Ron. He has been my favorite characters since forever and is my second favorite fictional character of all time. As such I've always like Ron-centric content. Fanfics, fanarts, little headcannons, all of which make me fall more and more in love with the character.

And I came across an answer in Quora that perfectly described Ron and Draco as opposites. Two sides of the same coin. I already thought so as well as I always saw Draco and Ron as the two first kids Harry met at his age, both of which to him seemed completely different while still remaining somewhat similar in certain aspects.

Both Ron and Draco come from ancient Pureblood families that have a long history in the Wizarding World

Both grew up with their fathers' opinion on muggles, muggle-borns and half-bloods influencing them

Both grew up in households that showed them unwavering love

Both made an impression that lasted on Harry

Both held care and loyalty for their families and close friends (Ron with Harry and Hermione; Draco with Crabbe and Goyle: This is even more evident in the Deathly Hallows were Draco seems legitimately saddened by Crabbe's death)

But it was the differences that made Harry choose Ron as his best friend and Draco as his school nemesis:

Draco was rich in wealth but poor in values; Ron was poor in wealth but rich in values

Ron was nice, humble, brave and loyal; Draco was rude, vain, cowardly and always looked out for himself mostly

Draco was an only child so Lucius and Narcissa spoiled him rotten with gifts, attention and love; Ron had a lot of brothers, and as such had to (from his perspective) compete for that same attention and love

Draco was a bully; Ron was a friend

All of these reasons as well as others led me to question, just why Draco was Harry's nemesis and then I remembered that Harry's nemesis was Voldemort. Not Draco.

And I think it was a missed opportunity to have made Harry the one to suspect Malfoy and not Ron. Now this may or may not come from the fact that I mostly hate a lot of HBP, but I also have a lot of reasons behind it.

While Harry has never liked Malfoy him immediately thinking that Voldemort recruited him to be a Death Eater was never really believable for me. We even see in OoTP that Harry doesn't really consider Malfoy a threat. After Lucius is arrested and Draco threatens Harry, he only sees this as laughable not something to be scared of.

So him changing his perspective to a 180 in HBP never seemed logical to me. Ron, however, I would completely see thinking that Malfoy was a Death Eater.

From the start while Malfoy had always teased and bullied Harry, Ron and Hermione as well as others like Neville, Luna or others his attempts to bully Harry and Ron were where he "shined". The Potter Stinks badges, buying the Slytherin Quidditch team and becoming Seeker just to spite Harry as well as the Weasley is Our King song, making fun of his dress robes, etc...

However, the type of personalities that both Harry and Ron have are vastly different. Harry doesn't mind these attempts at annoying him as he sees Malfoy as pathetic, but the thing with Ron is that he is much more self conscious than Harry.

Malfoy got the entire school to actually sing a song about Ron's poor skills at Quidditch which only increased his nervousness making him fail. Not only that, but in the books Malfoy made badges that said Weasley is our King as well.

So we have this boy who has made fun of Ron year after year, his financial status, his family, his friends, himself and now he's doing something incredibly suspicious just months after his father threatened Ron's sister with death in the Department of Mysteries. And he is suspicious of him, but he's two best friends just take Ron's suspiciousness as his natural inclination not to trust Slytherins, specifically Draco Malfoy.

And with that I present to you a very small piece of fanfiction inspired by an AU where Ron suspected Malfoy:

Harry and Hermione didn't seem to understand, or it was more like they didn't want to understand. It was as if his voice didn't matter, as if years of loyalty towards the two didn't matter for one bit, like Ron Weasley could only say something stupid and inappropriate if he ever opened his mouth.

But he wasn't stupid, he knew that. He got more than the average student in O.W.L.s, he beat McGonagall's chess set, he help figure out where the opening to the Chamber of Secrets was, he knew that Malfoy was a Death Eater from the beginning.

That last one still left a bitter taste in Ron's mouth. He had been telling Harry and Hermione for months that Draco Malfoy had taken the Dark Mark and was doing Death Eater activities for You-Know-Who in Hogwarts, but they just wouldn't listen.

Just like Hermione didn't listen whenever he told her that house-elves didn't want to be free, or how Lockhart was clearly a fraud, or just like Harry didn't seem to actually listen to him when he told him that he didn't like hearing You-Know-Who's name. It was as simple as that, but unless Ron Weasley had food in his mouth they wouldn't pay him one single fraction of attention.

They didn't know Malfoy like he did, they wouldn't know the lengths that the bloody ferret would go to just to be daddy's perfect little Death Eater, the lengths he would go to spoil everything.

Because they just didn't. They couldn't know the humiliation of being the school's punching bag for months. They couldn't understand how unfair it was that a family like the Malfoys was more respected than his just because they had more money. They couldn't understand how Malfoy's father had a part in the fine that his father had to pay after Harry and he had to go in the car to Hogwarts.

And Ron had been fine with that, he had been understandable about it, but now he knew the truth. They didn't care.

Because as he sat in his bed listening to Harry and Hermione come up with another bloody thing that they had to get in the stupid hunt of theirs in woods that froze his bollocks off with little to no food, he finally understood. Ginny, his own little sister, who was trapped in a castle with Snape and other dark wizards, had been sent to the Forbidden Forest where she could die.

In fact all of his family could be dead, and he would be none the wiser.

They didn't care.

So he stood up and clicked the Deluminator leaving them all in the darkness. They could feel as he felt about his family's situation. They could hear their own heartbeats as he did whenever he laid down in bed scared about waking up and finding out that he was the last member of his family left alive.

Someone called his name, but Ron could only hear the voice. Silky, smooth, seductive and speaking its every thought into his mind.

They don't care. They seemed to have forgotten about you, about your family, about anything but themselves.

He clicked the Deluminator once more and stared into the green and brown eyes of Harry and Hermione.

"Remember me, have you?"

[annabellelupin]

A Few of My Unpopular Harry Potter Opinions

Cho and Lavender shouldn't be seen as bad people because they didn't actually do anything wrong. They were both simply emotional and going through a lot- something that a lot of people can relate too

Tonks was an amazing character but the Remadora ship slightly ruined her

Fleur is often seen as an unimportant character and the things she did are often overlooked. However, she's canonically very caring (I mean she let a bunch of refugees that she just met stay at her house and catered to them) as well as courageous and doesn't deserve all of the hate that she gets

Draco is extremely overrated. He did some really terrible things compared to Fleur, Lavender, and Cho who often get more hate than he does (and before Draco stans start with "but he was a child" Lavender and Cho were the same age as him)

Not all of the Weasleys should have been in Gryffindor. While Ron, Ginny, and Charlie all seem to fit well into Gryffindor characteristics, I think that Percy and the twins should've been in Slytherin, and Bill in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff

I also think that Hermione should've been a Ravenclaw or Slytherin (Hermione being a muggle born Slytherin and just destroying all stereotypical views of Slytherins would be amazing and she's definitely creative and intelligent enough to be in Ravenclaw)

Harry is very underrated, especially considering the fact that it's his book series and that side characters like Draco get more attention than he does

Dumbledore definitely wasn't an amazing, heroic guy but I also don't think that he's a completely terrible person either, he did the wrong thing for the right reason

Dudley didn't need or deserve a redemption arc but I still think it was better and more deserved than Snape's. I also think the fact that the only bigger, probably plus size character that Joanne gave us is viewed as a bully and somewhat of enemy for a majority of the books is a bit fatphobic (ntm to mention the kind of extreme diet he was forced into)

Gryffindor shouldn't have won house cup all of the years Harry attended there. Seeing that Gryffindor hadn't won it in years just makes it seem more unrealistic

The Hogwarts House system is extremely problematic seeing that people's personalities and traits can change over time and that a majority of the time you can pretty much just choose which house you want to be in anyways

Hermione is an amazing character but a bit overrated if you ask me. Everyone tends to overlook her flaws and act like she's all perfect when she really isn't, and then dislike other characters for traits that she canonically has as well (I mean she was just as emotional as Cho and Lavender at times and people shame them for it but ignore it when it comes to Hermione)

Ginny and Hermione seem like the types to be big feminist that empower and help other women so it just doesn't seem right for them to dislike Fleur, Cho, and Lavender so much (and to make fun of Luna a bit when they first meet)

[coeurdastronaute]

Essays In Existentialism: Nerd 13

Previously on Nerd

“One more time,” Lexa called out, walking backwards to the other end of the lane, her sneakers kicking up some dust as she moved and watched the playback on her phone. 

“Your girlfriend is a little intense, eh?” Evan asked as he followed Clarke back to the start of their scene. 

Clarke looked up and wiped a little sweat from her brow as she watched Lexa move with Luna, talking about something, watching her phone while Luna juggled a camera and a script that’d seen better days. The messy waves were tamed, tied up and hidden by a baseball hat from her sister’s university, well-tattered and sweat-lined. The sleeves on her shirt were rolled up, exposing a slight bit of bicep, her jeans were caked in dirt and mud. 

“She’s hot though, right?” 

“I’m not answering that.” 

“I’ll allow you to answer it just this once.” 

“In a weird way, yeah, I guess,” he shrugged. “Ow! What the fuck?” 

“She’s super hot in a normal way,” Clarke informed him after socking his arm. 

“I meant like, I never considered it. Like, weird in a way I hadn’t considered. I’d prefer not to think of her like that, but you made me.” 

“Good, and you’ll never think of her like that ever again.” 

“Let’s give it one more go, and this time, Evan, I want you to pause before you answer Clarke. I want her words to ring for a moment. Play it how you think your character would feel it. Just for fun.” 

He nodded and Clarke smiled at how serious Lexa was, how intricately she thought about the scene. They’d been at it for three weeks and were nearly finished, toiling away after school as best they could, and Clarke found that she didn’t think she was the world’s greatest actress, but that she did enjoy seeing her girlfriend doing something she was insanely passionate about. There’s a bit of magic in seeing someone happy about something they enjoy. As silly as it might have seemed, Clarke let her imagination wonder to the idea of Lexa actually achieving her dream, of making things. She jumped twenty years, and Lexa was the exact same person, but different, but better, somehow. It was silly, but it helped. 

“Notes for me, sir?” she ventured. 

“You’re perfect. Keep being perfect.” 

As silly as it was again, Clarke smiled proudly and ignored the eye roll Luna gave before setting up with the camera again. 

In reality, it was about six more takes, two more requested by Luna, three requested by Evan, and once by Clarke. It was infectious to care and try to do better. But they were finally done with all else, and the end somehow felt so final. Though she’d been hesitant to try, now that they’d created something, Clarke felt connected to the entire thing. 

“So when will I get to see the entire thing?” Clarke asked, carefully dropping a bag of equipment on Lexa’s bedroom floor. 

“Oh, uh, maybe at the end of the summer? It’ll go through a ton of work with Luna and myself, and I’m not sure what we’re going to do… I will definitely show you though as soon as it is done.” 

“I’d hope so.”

“Thank you for helping me with this,” Lexa offered as she ran her hand over the back of her neck. “I know you are really busy. SAT, work, school, pep squad.” 

“And you’re not?” 

“Well, yeah, but I chose this, and you were recruited,” she shrugged. 

With a sigh, Lexa plopped onto her bed, tired and spent from the busy weekend. 

“You can recruit me anytime,” Clarke promised. 

In a move that was still somewhat new to Lexa, hips circled her own, and knees gripped her thighs, and that led to a lot of feelings in her body, especially in the below the belt part that she hadn’t particularly figured out in the practical sense. Theoretically she knew exactly what was happening. 

Without saying anything else, Clarke removed her girlfriend’s ball cap and tossed it on the bed. Lexa held her hips, ran her hands up her thighs and squeezed there, careful not to move her eyes anywhere but Clarke’s face. But they closed on their own when hands ran along her temples, scratching the sweat and soreness away, melting her instantly. 

There’d been a truce ever since the dance. There’d been a few make outs that went slightly past polite. There’d been a few time hands wandered lazily where they might not have been allowed, but didn’t care about no trespassing signs. There hadn’t been Clarke in her lap though, and Lexa knew this was different. She made it different when her hands slid around hips and toward Clarke’s ass. She squeezed and she thought she’d died. 

By the time Clarke kissed her, Lexa realized she was on her back in her bed with the head cheerleader on top of her. When hips pushed against her, she realized she was going to stop. Hands went to her chest. Hands slid under her shirt. Hands slid under her bra and she pushed back against being pinned. 

It all disappeared in a second, and confused at the loss of lips and contact, Lexa opened her eyes and searched. Clarke sat there, hands braced on her stomach until she lifted her own shirt and tossed it on the floor. Scrambling, Lexa lifted herself, tangling her arms in an attempt at solidarity in taking clothes off only to be aided by an amused girlfriend. 

“Wow,” she whispered, taking her time to look over new skin before her. She kept her hands locked on Clarke’s hips despite wanting to move them. She let her eyes roam shamelessly. “You’re like… wow.” 

“Is this okay?” 

“Very okay.” 

“Thank God,” Clarke nodded before leaning back down, cupping Lexa’s face, and kissing her again, fiercer this time, if it were possible. 

Hips moved more this time. Breathing picked up more. Hands pulled, tugged, grasped tighter. They clawed at each other and at more, at what their bodies already knew how to do but their brains overthought and tempered. It was a battle of want and need and restraint, and in it, they both knew which was losing. 

In a shaky attempt, Lexa somehow unhooked Clarke’s bra. And in an instant her girlfriend was topless on top of her, and now her lower half was absolutely made of lava. It was painfully molten. 

“Oh… my…. Goodness,” she hummed. 

Clarke pressed her hands harder against Lexa’s ribs and rotated her hips. Lexa slid her hands up Clarke’s chest and squeezed. She watched her hands moved and touch and feel. She was touching someone else’s nipples for the first time ever, which was a weird thing to be cognizant of, but something that she never imagined desiring. But she did. And she wanted to memorize it entirely. She earned a hum and she pushed her hips up, in an off-kilter response to Clarke’s hips. 

“Hey Lex, you home, sweetheart?” a voice called out from down the hall. 

The spell was broken. The frantic, hot buildup was drenched in freezing cold water. The skin on display was covered with shirts as quickly as possible and the contact of bodies was broken with as much space as humanely possible placed between them. 

“Yeah, uh,” Lexa cleared her throat and tucked in her shirt for some reason as she stood, her legs wobbly and her head not much more sturdy. “Just got home.” 

“Your mom is bringing home dinner. She got sandwiches from the deli.” 

“Sounds good!” 

“Want to work on your car?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good, kiddo. I’m just going to go change.” 

Her father’s voice faded as he moved toward his room. Lexa leaned against her door and looked back at Clarke in her room. The blonde just pushed her hair out of her face and tried to adjust her shirt, tugging her bra slightly from the quick reassembly of her parts. Her lips were puffy. Her cheeks were bright red. She was perfect, Lexa realized. 

Lexa cleared her throat again and redid her pony tail. 

“So that was--”

“Really good,” Clarke finished. “Maybe we should… it’s good your dad-- we should talk about this, right?” 

“Um, yeah, I think.”

“Not right now though.” 

“Of course, yeah,” Lexa nodded, unsure exactly what was going to be discussed and even worse when it would be. She needed more context clues because too much had just occurred, and she was a specifics type of girl. 

“I should head home. I have to finish some physics homework and take a cold shower.” 

“Right, yeah. It was hot out there today and I kept you out in the sun.” 

“Okay, we definitely are going to have to have some conversations.” 

“Am I in trouble?” Lexa asked, cocking her head as Clarke picked up her backpack and shouldered it, making her way to the door. 

“Not at all. I just want to be able to talk about sex with you before we do it because I imagine you might need it, and to be honest I’m not sure how much longer I can survive how sexy you are.” 

Sex. Clarke wanted sex. They had almost, Lexa imagined. And Clarke was talking about sex with her and wanted to talk about sex with her and wanted to have sex with her and talk about the having of sex with her and they were going to have sex. Having sex was an option that they were going to talk because they were going to have sex and they should talk about it. It was going to be a thing that was discussed between the two of them because sex was going to happen and it might have almost happened and they should talk about the sex that almost and might also in the future happen. Sex. 

“I’m kidding,” Clarke assured Lexa, pressing her hand to the center of her chest and bringing her back from the place she just died and went to. “I can wait however long we need to, but I think we should talk about it so something like this doesn’t happen and we don’t have a clear line drawn or not drawn. Think about where your line is, I guess and then we can talk about it.”

“Okay.” 

Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek and then her jaw and then her neck and then her lips. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Mhm. Yes. Me okay. I’m okay. Always ok.” 

“Did I melt your brain with the mention of sex?” Clarke smiled. 

“Yeah, kind of.” 

“No rush, I promise. Just like to be prepared.” 

“Like a boy scout.” 

“Don’t stress. I like you.” 

“Mmm,” Lexa nodded and tried to make her eyes not be completely huge, tried to make her heart stop throbbing in her pants and ears, tried to make her brain not explode or melt. 

“I’ll talk to you later. Have fun with your dad.” 

“Mmm,” she hummed and nodded as Clarke moved past her toward the door. “See you tomorrow.” 

In an instant, Clarke was gone, and Lexa looked down at her hands. They’d been on Clarke’s naked boobs. She looked at her hips. They’d been on Clarke’s thighs. She looked at her bed and how surprised she was that her body just did some of the things it did. She wasn’t sure what else it was capable of, but she decided she might need to do research. 

XXXXXXXXXX

“I need to talk to you about two things.” 

“Hey, I’m good, thanks for asking. Just cramming for some finals, but yeah I definitely have time to help you out.”

“Okay, good,” Lexa nodded to herself as she paced through the garage, twisting a wrench around as she moved, twirling it around her fingers. It all happened quite seriously as she surveyed the car as it was coming to life. 

The house was empty, her parents out on a date. Luna was coming over shortly to work on some of their film, but Lexa had a few things she wanted to get done on her car. More than anything though, she needed to speak with her sister desperately regarding many things in her life. 

“How have you been, Lex?” 

“Pretty good.” 

“Anything planned for the summer yet?” 

“I have an internship with a film crew that’ll be in town for a few weeks. My history teacher’s old college roommate is first camera. Some movie of the week thing for the holidays.” 

“Wow! Lex, that’s huge!” 

“I guess. But I need to know about sex. Sex with another girl. You’re in college. Have you had sex with another girl?”

Anya choked on her sip of coffee as she stopped walking down the sidewalk. She nearly dropped part of her armload of books, but managed to get a grip at the last moment. 

“Sorry to disappoint, but I haven’t.” 

“I tried to ask Gus but he said he couldn’t talk to me about it, and I just need someone to tell me what to do because I’ve run out of online resources short of porn and to be honest I looked a few and I didn’t like it.” 

“Lots of information to unpack in this…” 

“What do I do or who do I talk to?” 

“Just give me a second, okay?”

With a sign, Lexa sat the phone down on the edge of the car and went about the tough work of running some wires through the rear panel. If she was doing something with her hand, then she didn’t have to repeat the word sex nine hundred times per minute in her brain. 

“You and Clarke are talking about having sex?” 

“We’re talking about talking about it.” 

“How long have you been dating?” 

“Um since beginning of November. Almost six months.” 

“Do you love her?” 

“I don’t know. I mean…” Lexa paused her movements and furrowed. She hadn’t thought of it like that. It seemed almost insane to quantify her feelings into one word. She was excited to always see Clarke, and when she had a bad day, Clarke was the only person she really wanted to see, and when she did, the bad day just melted away. How was she supposed to figure out if it was love when she couldn’t compare it to anything else? She got butterflies still, when she saw her girlfriend. And Lexa felt this weird need to do things for Clarke, without being asked. She was helpful and attentive because the payoff of Clarke’s smile was worth even a few minutes of forethought. But she hadn’t considered that love, but maybe it was. 

“I really don’t know. I like her a lot. I like how we are” 

“That’s fair. I guess I should rephrase it. What makes you think you’re ready to have sex?” 

“I really want to.” 

“Okay, yeah, well everyone really wants to have sex, but what makes you think you’re ready? Can you confidently say where your boundaries are? Are you ready to have a much more intimate relationship with someone?”

“I was kind of just looking for more help in the mechanics of it.” 

“That’s the easy part,” Anya smiled to herself as she took another sip of her coffee. The weather was changing, the spring breeze ruffled the trees so they loudly clamoured above as she moved with the crowd along the narrow sidewalk. “There’s a certain level of intimacy in having sex with someone, especially someone you really like. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, but it’s certainly different. Do you think you’re ready to do that?” 

“I think so,” Lexa murmured after a moment of contemplation. She tapped a screwdriver against her thigh and stared at a single screw. “I really want to make her feel good and I know that sounds stupid, but I just… Sometimes it’s easier to want to kiss her than tell her exactly what I feel. I want to show her.” 

“I can see how that would work. Just so long  as you take a good bit of time and really consider it. And remember, even if you agree, you can change your mind at any time.” 

“Ugh, not you too! Dad’s already given me a billion consent talks. I just want to go down on Clarke without making a fool of myself.” 

Anya couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the outburst, but she somehow managed to hold her phone away from her mouth as she did. It took her a moment to recover. 

“Just do what you like and listen to her. Ask her what she enjoys. Be receptive to how she sounds and moves. It’s really not that hard. Just give it your all.” 

“This is all fine advice, but I still don’t know how to actually do it.” 

“You’ll figure it out.” 

“I don’t like leaving it up to chance.”

“You’ll be fine, I promise. You care for Clarke and I think she’ll be able to show you a thing or two.” 

“What does that mean?” Lexa paused her movements and furrowed. 

“You’ll see.” 

“I really don’t like the sound of that.” 

“You will, I promise.” 

“Are you coming home this summer?” 

“I might. So, sex with your girlfriend, huh?” 

“Maybe. Is it weird that I just… I want everything to keep going how it has been? It’s been so easy and nice and I didn’t think dating Clarke would be so … so… easy?”

“That’s not weird at all. It sounds like you are having a good time.” 

“I’m going to ask her to go to prom.” 

“Wow,” Anya smiled to herself, doing her best to sound surprised by the news, as if it wasn’t customary to take once’s girlfriend to prom. “Are you going to do a big ask?” 

“Nah, I don’t think that’s me,” Lexa shrugged, even though no one would see it. “And I don’t think it’s Clarke. She’s not like… she’s not like what I would have thought. She’s better.” 

“You’ve got it bad.” 

“Nah.” 

It was nice to talk to her sister. It was nice to be put at ease, even if she just heard a bunch of stuff she already knew. Lexa wasn’t sure how it came to be that she was someone who talked to her sister every few days and actually filled her in on her life. She wasn’t sure how she enjoyed spending Saturday morning with her parents going on a hike or breakfast. She wasn’t sure how it came to be that the head cheerleader was soft and quiet and warm and made her feel like she was full of helium, but it was all happening, and Lexa felt herself open up to the world again without ever realizing she had been closed. 

XXXXXXXXXX

For an entire seventy-two hours, Lexa let it all rattle around in her head, the words and the ideas and the thought of it all. All at once it felt like she didn’t know what came next while also incredibly knowing and that held her stuck. She hadn’t thought to ask for more, and she wasn’t sure how to have it. She knew that it was important, and she knew that was a different step than the ones she’d already taken. 

Nothing seemed to change with Clarke though. 

Lexa still held her girlfriend’s hand between classes, and they still hung out and texted and kissed and no one said anything despite Lexa taking her sister’s advice to really think about what it all meant. 

She didn’t know what it meant. Not truly. 

“That’s it. I quit. My brain is melting out of my ears.”

With an exaggerated flourish, the body on the bed flopped over and tossed a notebook onto the floor. Eyes rolled back before a tongue hung out and Lexa smiled from her spot at her desk. The music played softly from the speaker on the bookshelf. It was already dark outside as they worked on studying, but the lights reflected so that outside didn’t exist at all. 

“Your brain isn’t melting. It’s just growing and growing and will soon explode.” 

“I think I prefer the melting,” Clarke sighed. 

Lexa smiled to herself because there was the head cheerleader laying in her bed. And Clarke was wearing her old soccer sweatshirt and she was tired from after work, but still stopped by before heading home just for a few hours of studying. 

“Would you like to go to prom with me?” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah you,” Lexa decided, cocking her head slightly. The corpse in her room rolled over again and lifted her head. “With me.” 

“Was it the melting brain thing that really sold you?” 

“I just like how you look in my bed.” 

“Your bed is very comfortable.” 

“I thought about the sex thing and I don’t know if I’m ready right now, or by prom or whatever, but I want to just keep doing things slowly if that’s okay?” 

Clarke sat up so she was kneeling on the bed. She’d already rolled the sleeves of the sweatshirt that hung a little long on her. There was a hole over the letter on the left part of her chest. Her hair was falling out of a messy bun, and her cheeks had their dimples in them. Lexa took a moment to remember it. 

“That’s fine by me.” 

“It is?” 

“I like how fluid everything is with you. I just wanted you to be aware of what you were feeling and what your limits were.” 

“I don’t know them right now, but I’ll know them as things happen, if that’s okay.” 

“Very okay.” 

“Do you want to go to prom with me?” 

“Didn’t I already say yes?” 

“No.” 

“Well then, yes.” 

“Cool,” Lexa grinned, holding her chin on her palm. 

Clarke relaxed slightly and smiled back. 

“Cool.” 

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