#luke will also give himself his own shovel talk

[thewriterowl]

Boba: Look, Jedi, I don’t like you and you don’t like me--

Luke: I like you.

Boba: But Djarin is head over heels for you. So, know, if you break his heart--

Luke: I should suffer for eternity and die alone

Boba: I...yes?

Luke: Cause he is amazing and if I do anything I don’t deserve anything except torture.

Boba: I’m the one trying to do the shovel talk here

Luke: I don’t deserve him so I need to appreciate him and how lucky I am to have him in my life.

Boba: Damn, kid, you ok?

Luke: You’re a great friend. I am so happy he has you. I made you a friendship bracelet as a promise to never hurt Din but you don’t have to wear it.

Boba....

(Later)

Boba: Djarin, if you ever break this kid’s heart I am going to destroy you.

Din: He gave you a friendship bracelet huh?

Boba: (covered in twenty of them) Not the point, shut-up.

[itsthenerdwonder]

Okay, maybe we’re all too harsh on this movie. At the BARE MINIMUM! It is a mostly watchable movie with a coherent story. The bar is on the ground, but some movies brought a shovel. This movie has a story. Bad thing happened, hero must stop worse thing from happening, shenanigans along the way. And it sticks to that formula, and the one laid out in the book, so, I guess it did step over the bar in terms of story. Okay. We’ve passed that bar.

Next bar: does the CGI make me want to vomit. It’s a little more difficult of a challenge and definitely isn’t always cleared (Justice League, Green Lantern, Cats, you get it) and…for the most part it’s fine. I hate looking at Dodds and the hellhounds, the minotaur looks worse than 2001 Sully and the green screen is obvious. But the water looks good. The snakes look good and the CGI to remove Uma’s body, though bad would’ve been hard to do better cuz it always looks fake when you see just a human head without a body attached. And while the green screen is obvious, it never looks atrocious. Hell looks fine. Fake but fine. The lake and forest around camp look fake but fine. It’s all fine. So, we tripped over that bar, but we passed it.

Next bar: characters. And here’s where we fail. Percy is…an angsty teen. A little bit charming but a little bit of a prick. Okay, fine. Annoying, but can be worked with if the rest of the cast is great.

Annabeth is…a fighter and nothing else. And even that she sucks at. We see her fighting 1v4 and holding her own/winning but 1v1 Percy she fails because Percy is Gary Stu. She wants to leave camp (also, why is it called camp when it’s for adults who never leave?) cuz she’s never left and then…does nothing with it. Book did very little with it but also made sure to have people remember it. Show DID something with it. Movie? Just a flimsy excuse to have her be “the girl one” who is NOT “a sex crazed daughter of Aphrodite.”

Grover…oof. Grover’s casting was a great change from the book, but his writing was the WORST change from the book. Grover is there to support Percy’s lack of understanding (and barely explain anything…he exposits a little when walking between archers and their targets which DEAR GOD WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S NOT FUNNY THAT’S HOW YOU GET PEOPLE KILLED! but it’s not really an explanation as to what the world really is) and be the director’s penis-insert. By all the gods, keep it in your pants!  Also, he’s more a part of the world than the half-bloods, so why does he not understand how the Hydra works? Or that Sally wouldn’t be able to enter the camp and be stopped at the border? AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE SAYS THE EXACT SAME LINES! “Come on!” “I’m your protector.” It’s like a pull string that only says those 2 phrases.

Now Luke��makes no sense. It seems like he wants to become a god, but he hates gods. He wants the gods to kill each other, forgetting their immortal and cannot die because they’re not Norse gods. He’s barely a character, which I can’t even blame the movie for because honestly, he was barely a character in the book too, but his evil plan makes no sense. Steal something of unfathomable power and give it to a god, whom he hates, to start a war instead of using it himself…like he does at the end. And he wants power? He’s apparently “Camp Leader,” and therefore in charge of dozens (or more) people of incredible power who can apparently rival the gods in terms of ability to fight (but not in terms of CGI-ing them big). Camp Leader would imply he’s above Chiron too, right? Like, there’s not a lot of “up” to go and according to Greek myth, that’s not how you remove gods from power.

You know what, let’s talk about Greek myth here, okay? 1. The “Big Three” don’t really exist, but if they DID, it would be because it’s the rulers of the 3 most important domains: Death, Seas and Sky. Honestly, it should be Big 4 cuz Demeter really should be up there with her brothers, but whatever. It is NOT because Zeus AND Poseidon AND Hades took down Kronos. Two of them were kinda EATEN and were thus unable to helpful in the whole coup thing. So, that’s one point lost for Chiron saying that’s why they’re the Big 3.

Persephone herself said she gets to leave Hell Hades, but she’s there IN SUMMER! GIRL! What are you doing slacking off down here when you got work to do topside? Your mother is going to have a FIT! if you don’t get up there right now, young lady. Look, yes, the more popular version is from Ovid, a Roman with a bone to pick against Greek deities but come on!  That’s one of the more popular stories!

And speaking of popular stories: THE HYDRA?! Yeah, we’ve all seen Disney’s Hercules. We know Hail Hydra from Marvel. We know to get up on the Hydra’s back. But what the FUCK is a hydra gonna do with a lightning bolt. The fun thing about Medusa or Hades or Kronos or whomever wanting the bolt is they have human intelligence and can and will use it to mess up other people’s day with their opposable thumbs. A minotaur, chimera or freaking hydra, beasts that cannot speak and lack human intelligence, WOULD HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DO DO WITH A WEAPON LIKE THAT. Give a wolf a gun and you won’t have more dead sheep, just a dead wolf. Give the hydra the bolt, it’s gonna fry itself trying to gnaw on it.

You know what, no. This movie DOESN’T get enough hate. It doesn’t totally suck but the parts that suck REALLY suck. Fuck this movie. I’m going to watch the show, which isn’t perfect but is LEAGUES better than this horny dumpster fire.

Okay, before we end the PJO tv show, I’m gonna watch the shitty movie. I’ve reread the book, chapter by chapter, before each episode to compare it for myself. But let’s watch the movie to compare to the show AND book cuz why the eff not?

And since Percy is played by a 21 year old, I will also be drinking during this movie cuz BLEH!

20th Century Fox…you sure did last longer than 1999. For better and worse. And now Disney owns you and you’re nothing but a memory…a little more booze will fix that.

Chris Columbus, because everyone loved the first 2 Harry Potter movies. Well, they loved how good of adaptations they were as well as the Dumbledore actor.

Giant Poseidon rises out of the water…struggling to walk through water like he’s a human. AND A HUMAN SEES HIM AND HE’S JUST LIKE “sup” LIKE….THAT HAD BETTER BE A RANDOM TSUNAMI HE’S FUCKING SEEING! AND THEN POSEIDON JUST WATER MORPHS INTO A REGULAR GUY?! WHY ARE YOU NOW A REGULAR GUY?! WHY NOT JUST START AS A REGULAR GUY? Why be massive at all? Just, why?

You know, Sean Bean probably wishes he DID die in this movie so he’d never have to reprise. But, only the main 4 actually reprised so, you know, whatever. The franchise flopped enough to count as a death.

EXPSITION! TALKING! WALKING! BORING!

Also, this implies that Luke LITERALLY JUST TOOK IT! Like, days/hours ago and Zeus is already like “guess imma just kill a kid and cause WWIII in 2 weeks.” Like, Zeus has no chill, but he’s king of the gods for a reason. Those shits are PETTY! And do ALL KINDS of stuff that could’ve resulted in dozens of power plays/wars/other shitty things happen to the gods or mortals, but they didn’t cuz Zeus…actually knows how to rule. He just doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. That’s a separate issue.

Such intense. Very dramatique standing. Much wow.

Honestly, even though this is a weird opening, it is a very good opening. Percy just…chilling in his element. Like, yeah, 7 minutes for a high schooler to just hold his breath is bad cuz 6 minutes and you start losing brain cells and teenagers don’t have cells to lose cuz they lost half of them to puberty and spend the next 10-15 years wrestling them back from their hormones and self-worth issues. But still, it’s a nice score after that intensely nothing scene, very calm and soothing, makes the “who could Percy’s dad” question feel very stupid but the movie isn’t trying to make you think, so you can just…be for that underwater scene. It’s nice. But unfortunately we don’t drown and the movie keeps going.

Although, with Rick adding that Percy does have a fear of drowning in later books, that does make this scene…terrifying. Is Percy trying to drown himself?

“It’s like high school without the musical” so…high school. Also, hey, an appropriately 2008 reference cuz these books can’t stop making references. Seriously, Rick, you can stop making references that date the books. You do a yearly reference per book but sometimes it’s multiple books per year. THAT’S NOT HOW DATES WORK.

Mrs. Dodds is teaching English cuz…Shakespeare is harder than high school trig? But it does give us a decent look at Greek letters superimposing over the early modern English as the letters move and rearrange and…this is the second nice thing I’ve said. SHIT! SAY SOMETHING DISPARAGING!

“I think this dyslexia thing is getting worse.” That’s…not how dyslexia works. “Idk, maybe it’s the ADHD.” This movie is dumb. Phew, I said something disparaging.

Percy sassing his mom makes me hate him rather than making me think they have a close relationship and he loves his mom and would literally kill for her.

Ah, the first sexual thing to happen on screen. And this is the only one to not make me mad cuz it’s Gabe being the worst.

“Show some respect. That’s my mom right there.” No, that’s his wife right there. Show him some of you leaving so he can continue to be a mortal pig stinking up the place and making you safe from monsters. God this Gabe is the worst, he’s fucking perfect.

Oh right, and the gods are telepathic too. Cuz…why? That’s never established in ANY myth or book. “I haven’t seen him since he was a baby” yeah, but apparently you guys have one-way phone calls where you give cryptic advice every other Tuesday.

AND THEY GET GREEK MYTH WRONG! “The Big Three overthrew Kronus.” *Pulls out 3 mythology books, 10 mythology websites and the fucking book.* Now, we’re not leaving until you learn these gods’ dam myths or you are carried away by Thanatos trying.

Mrs. Dodds honestly looks like such a creeper in this scene. Looking like she’s trying to sniff his hair. Ick.

Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant actor. He uses the wheelchair like a fucking pro, but then he keeps propping himself up at an odd angle away from the back like it’s uncomfortable to sit in. Which, would make sense given he’s got a whole other half folded up behind him.

It’s so interesting how the Furies keep getting wings in modern media. Like, classical depictions have them as just really really pissed off ladies. And that’s no lady. That’s a demon.

Logan was clearly thinking the CGI would grab his arms to lift him instead of underneath his arms, so he just looks really stiff cuz the CGI artists messed up.

“I should be on medication.” Well yes but actually no.

Also, how was the show’s lack of a fight scene better than this…almost fight? Pathetic attack and subsequent scolding? At least she died in the show, unlike here.

“Only use it in times of severe distress.” That line…makes no sense…cuz…like…he’s camp activities director for a bunch of demigods he’s training to fight to the death…WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T WANT THIS KID WHO’S IN IMMEDIATE DANGER TO USE A WEAPON?!

“This is a pen. This is a pen!” Well…at least some of this movie is fun/funny/almost enjoyable.

Movie!Percy is an ableist jackass who thinks crutches constitute helplessness. Book!Percy would beat Movie!Percy up for even SUGGESTING Grover couldn’t handle himself, much less kick someone’s ass. He’s seen Grover in the cafeteria line.

“Like I said, I’m your protector.” And suddenly, Eddie and the guys think Grover’s gay for Percy

“He was forced to leave.” I…the tide comes and goes. And so does Poseidon. He’s here, then he’s gone. But he’ll return again. Constant change. How is that so hard to write?

“Leaving you was probably the most difficult thing he ever did.” Okay, I know you’re not Show!Sally, but lady, Imma need you to do your research about your ex. Okay?

“Sally watch out!” For what? The cow didn’t enter the screen until the car was already turning to avoid it.

And this is why you wear a seat belt. All of you should’ve gone flying through that windshield cuz none of you were wearing seat belts.

I’m going to need Grover to never say “Come on” again. Please. For the love of Apollo.

I hate that invisible wall.

You know, it’s supposed to be raining. Which is why Percy does not insta-die. Cuz water. Instead, this kid is just the best at being a matador/sword fighting cuz Gary Stu.

“No. No. No. No. No. No.” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GIVE IT UP FOR THE WORST LINE DELIVERY IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE! “I’d like to thank my mom, for dying. My teen angst, for not giving a shit for her dying. That math test I was supposed to take today I definitely didn’t study for that I was thinking about the same time as remembering my mom just died. None of you were important to me. And I’ll keep on not caring for the rest of this movie. Good night!”

This is the tiniest Camp Half-Blood ever…and the musical just had a small black box to work with. Sword combat training right next to archers firing at everything leaving the infirmary and both working to put you back in immediately after getting healed?

“I’m a loser. I have dyslexia. ADHD.” Look. 2010 was a different time. But like…did the writers KNOW what those were? That they’re unfortunately not an uncommon disability in America. For one or the other (usually not both, but most people don’t hear about half-bloods unless they make the news for blowing up Mount St. Helens. Again)

Look at Clarise kicking ass, even though she should have her hair up. “That’s Annabeth.” Oh, right. Every time.

Instant connection. Cuz…teenagers be horny I guess. Not like we can actually build up the relationship or anything. NOOOOO. Gotta be horny at first sight.

Pierce Brosnan is a terrible actor with how he’s holding his arms like he Naruto running, but they’re fists so it just looks stiff and awkward.

“A real horse’s ass.” I still don’t understand that joke. Not that one. The one in Aladdin where he says “a horse with two rear ends” but…RIGHT! Gotta focus on the worse movie.

All daughters of Aphrodite are sorority girls with Elle Woods’ body and libido without the Elle Woods brains. Remember when this story was supposed to be for 12-year-olds.

And there’s no question who his dad is cuz Poseidon just came to camp one day and decided to be a carpenter and carved “PεΓ<ψ ωiιι βε HεΓε” right above the door

You know…the CGI on Chiron’s horse half looks pretty good.

“This stuff is so heavy!” That’s light leather! What are you talking about. I can show you several 12-year-olds wearing full metal breastplates, pauldrons and helmets carrying metal shields too (which also looks cheap, but still) that would laugh at how you think THAT is heavy.

Grover’s so upbeat here at camp…which is…interesting…

Camp Leader? Leader? I…what the fuck is happening. Why is Luke…more in charge than Chiron? And Mr. D comes next movie…DID MR. D TAKE LUKE’S JOB?!

Idk…maybe it’s just the Michael lingering in poor Adam Winchester, but…he just RADIATES evil, you know?

“That’s a sword. That’s a sword.” No shit.

But, you know, even with the shaky cam, the fight choreography is pretty good.

“My mother is goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. You know what that means?” You’re an inflated windbag who exposits a lot? Like, didn’t we already establish that 2 scenes ago? Yet, I almost needed it cuz I forgot she was Annabeth again and was like “Hey Clarisse” cuz she looks like how I picture Clarrise (who’s a blonde) and fighting against Percy and being a bitch and…yeah

Cuz she wouldn’t know to not leave a son of Poseidon anywhere near water? Like, even not knowing that it’d heal him, with admittedly decent effects, he’s already claimed and so she’d KNOW that maybe, just maybe, he’s a water boy. That and/or he’s probably pretty good on horseback.

And now the fight choreography sucks. I’m bored. Mostly by the 1-v-1 instead of war between many like we were doing. Like…they would be doing.

Grover isn’t hungry all the time here. He’s horny all the time. I hate it.

“I’m not going to grow a fish tail or gills am I?” Listen, I’d much rather be watching Thirteenth Year. Shut up.

“I have very strong feelings for you. I just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.” So…you think he’s hot, but a jerk. So…make it negative cuz…yeah, this Percy is a prick and I don’t want to be his friend. Where’s Book or Show!Percy. I miss them.

AND HADES IS SATAN BECAUSE EVERYONE SAW DISNEY’S HERCULES AS WELL AS FUCKING CHRISTIANS AND THEIR HATRED OF DEATH! I HATE THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FOR DISPARAGING THE LORD OF THE DEAD LIKE THIS!

I’m also going to need Grover to stop saying “I’m your protector.” It’s almost as repetitive as “Come on,” but not quite. Not yet.

Luke playing video games is somehow the biggest change from the book. Not Annabeth eating Clarisse’s character. Not Mrs. Dodds teaching Shakespeare. Not that everyone knows Percy’s heritage and thus we cut out the “gods are deadbeats” theme from the books…nope. It’s the fact that this Ancient Greek summer camp has fucking electricity.

“My dad’s a jerk, I’ve never met him.” You know, if it was ONLY book 1, I could forgive this. Knowing several books had come out and May Castellian’s story was able to be known…OOPS! Kinda forgot to read ahead to make sure everything lines up, huh?

I broke into a god’s house and stole stuff (I’m obviously not the Lightning Theif even though I’ve already stolen from the gods) like this book that’s still covered in dust which doesn’t make sense logically.

Shoe flies into the screen for all the 3D movie watchers out there. Honestly, I miss when 3D did gimmicks like that.

Persephone fucking around is not her character. Other than possibly Hades (and, that’s from Ovid, a Roman, who put in a line about her agency rather than the original Greek tale) she’s a virgin goddess. She’s called Kore, The Maiden, before she’s Persephone. Like…what’s with all the sex stuff and tying NONE OF IT TO ZEUS!?

Look, the 3 pearls given by Poseiden being made the 3 stopping points could’ve…not sucked, except, the first few books are very much adventures. Like Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Or any of the Lord of the Rings. We start at Point A and we’re going to Point B and crazy things happen on the way to make it interesting. Those things are just super dangerous cuz it’s an adventure inspired by The Oddessy rather than a Road Trip movie where those things are comedy based.

Map will only show 1 pearl at a time, so how does Luke know how many there are? He could be lying. Also this is why Mrs. Dodds needed to teach you Math, so you could do 1+1+1 DOES NOT EQUAL 4 PEOPLE STUPID!

Also, to get the map to show you the next one, just say I Solemnly Swear That I’m Up To No Good.

And Luke gives them a shield that takes 5 seconds to fully open which isn’t helpful because we saw none of the kids using shields so they probably would suck with them instead of knowing how to use it in a fight/forget it has a timer and they die by being impaled before the shield can fully open.

47 minutes in and we’re JUST NOW getting to the quest. And YET! It felt like we were running through the first 10 chapters.

Honestly, don’t totally hate the Highway to Hell song because it’s super on the nose.

*Grover sees rats* “That’s nasty.” YOU’RE A SATYR! YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE HAPPIER TO SEE NATURE DOING IT’S THING THAN EATING A TIN CAN! Probably…tin cans are also very delicious.

Annabeth is also a thief, stealing from Aunty Em like that.

The woman’s overacting is…why?

Grover should’ve been stabbed with how Percy was holding that thing.

Uma’s decision to rub her hands together to project her evil instead of just…holding herself with the confidence of a villainess was certainly a decision.

Huh, even the movie doing the “Medusa was a pretty woman” story…and even reference that she hates his dad instead of having a sweet spot like in the book…

What, is she just that persuasive? I think her snakes are venomous, so, like, she could do that instead of just…standing there saying “look me in the eye when you know I’m fucking Medusa.”

Percy with the iPod is…regrettably iconic.

Uma running is…regrettably memorable cuz it’s that bad rather than the iPod.

If Annabeth was able to get out with the arm broken off, she should’ve been able to get out with the arm attached, but I guess we can make Grover actually helpful.

“I don’t have the lightning bolt!” Except, since we cut Ares giving it to them in Colorado and put it in the damn shield…YES YOU DO!

Why is Medusa hitting on, supposedly, a teenager! Medusa is a ephebophile and needs to die for that much more than killing a woman who screamed too much.

That truck should be destroyed to hell and Percy should be dead.

No black man is giving up the hoodie under the jacket. That’s not happening.

Medusa is also bisexual if they found the pearl on her wrist like that so she could leave Persephone’s Garden whenever she wanted/needed.

Yay. Everyone hates country music.

I’m glad they have money for a 2 bed motel.

Wow. I’m so glad Percy can heal others with water like he’s frickin Katara.

“It’s a recent thing that Zeus said Fuck Them Kids. Like, 15 years recent.” Yeah, that’s not…that’s not why the gods are deadbeats.

Grover, not so loud. You wanna tell the entire motel ppl that we’re here?

Everyone remembered this scene from the movie and the tourist in the book and decided that’s why the show was bad in waiting until St Louis, like in the book, to say Percy was a fugitive of the law. Instead of, just…a troubled kid with a dead mom.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Gabe always running his mouth.” You met Gabe for 2 seconds at the apartment. You are talking about nothing. Gabe is always nothing with you. You know nothing. Shut up.

Boy, I’m so glad they slept so they could drive again instead of sleeping in the car, being awake at the motel, and driving all night to be awake in the day. Ugh.

The Athena Parthenos is not allowed to be there cuz we gotta find it in HoO. That’s also not how it looks in Nashville so, like, that’s gotta be the real Parthenos.

People check the bathrooms and would’ve escorted you out.

Annabeth is a racist who goes to kill the black guy first.

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A CROSSBOW?! Since how does she know how to use a crossbow? Since why does she have a crossbow?

Surprised they’re not making a sex joke about groping Athena’s tits or something.

But…why would the hydra want a bolt of lightning? It wouldn’t even be able to use it.

Also, everyone’s seen Disney’s Hercules, and Winter Soldier is coming out in a few years. Grover also should’ve known that that was bad.

AND NOW SHE HAS A BOW AND FULL QUIVER OF ARROWS!

That’s a lot of water for a single water fountain.

Boy. I’m so glad they’re carrying Medusa’s head around instead of sending it to Olympus to get their parents to say “we see you, sweeties! We hate it, but we see you!”

And again, Grover saves the day and Annabeth only makes it worse.

“Several Continents” …you named 2, so it would be over those two continents. Also…how big is it? Is it as big as a mountain range? EQUAL to Europe and straddling the two continents?! ALL OF EUROPE AND ASIA?! Cause, honestly, it’d be weird, but a stormfront covering half of Europe/part of Asia at the same time wouldn’t be impossible. Storms be big. Europe be small.

I will say, points for the show to make it a real casino instead of an amusement park like in the book, cuz…that’s not really how casinos work. Like, they can have a really great secondary, non-casino part, but…a theme park like here in the movie and focusing on the arcade and making it massive like the book is…weird.

I’m gonna need Grover to be a little less horny.

That’s a lot of people for three teens. Instead of it being enticing, it’s forcing. Which…is not how the Lotus Eaters work.

The kids have never done drugs before cuz even the ones that make you happy don’t make you THAT kind of happy.

Honestly, still a great part of the movie, with Grover tearing it up. Get it, Goat Boy.

Percy, stop getting high. This is not part of the drugs, I swear. Percy. I AM YOUR FATHER, wait, Disney doesn’t own both properties yet.

Honestly, I’m expecting the lotus servers to ring security with how insistent they are. Like, damn.

Grover was about to have an orgy, cuz like, ugh!

“I can drive from Vegas to LA in 3 to 4 hours.” NOT WHEN YOU HIT TRAFFIC BITCH! And you will.

The sky doesn’t look like a massive storm cloud, it looks like really bad pollution.

Is Annabeth allowed to do anything? She didn’t read the sign. She didn’t help in Medusa. She BARELY DID ANYTHING in Nashville (not that she did much other than have a personality in St. Louis.) She was the same level of helpful in the Lotus Casino. Annabeth, why are you HERE?!

Grover, why are you asking Percy what anything about Greek Myth is? Again, Annabeth is the smart one!

Percy just gonna casually stab Charon and think he’s going anywhere? This is the Land of the Dead, boy! He cannot die! If he does, it just means a bigger back up in the waiting room.

I love that Death plays Charon. He’s such a good actor.

“We’re in a recession!” When are we not? Fucking American economy.

You know what, the Underworld green screen actually looks impressive. It’s well done.

“All lives end in suffering and tragedy.” This is not Hell. This is Hades. So where are the Fields of Asphodel? Where’s Elysium? It’s more than just the Fields of Torment! Tartarus is UNDER Hades. That’s not all Hades is.

Probably a super cute puppy! Nope, just 2 Hellhounds. But Mrs. O’Leary is so nice!

Persephone trying to hit on Grover is…I’m so done. Why Grover’s new personality gotta be horn dog?

I actually don’t hate Hades looking like an aging rocker look. It’s weird, but it’s at least a look. Unlike Zeus and Poseidon in the first scene with 0 style.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO HORNY FOR GOAT?!

“I was banished here by Zeus and Poseidon.” No, just Zeus. And you didn’t hate it. I mean, you hate it cuz it’s constant work, but you do a good job and would hate ruling the sea or sky.

Hades asking the real questions here.

Why is Hades backing out of the deal? Didn’t they see Disney’s Hercules?

“The only time I look forward to is my allotted time away from this hellhole.” You mean summer? Like, right now? Cuz you supposed to be top side, honey.

“Guys, it’s gotta be me, cuz I’m your protector…and also gonna bone a goddess.” I don’t hate him as Grover. I hate the writers for Grover.

How does Sally know where the entrance is, but still can’t get through? Also, another woman running up behind Percy or Annabeth shouting her lines annoyingly. Yay.

Wow, you’re really just gonna say that, huh.

“I was planning on giving the bolt to Hades the whole time.” Cuz fuck Kronos who we DID ESTABLISH VERY EARLY IN THE MOVIE!

This should be a much more intense fight between Annabeth and Luke knowing their history. But…it’s more of a Clarisse vs Luke fight cuz it’s weirdly choreographed and no dialogue to suggest they know each other.

“Why do you want a war with the gods?” Cuz fuck ‘em. “Control.” I…♪Everybody wants to rule the world♪ BUT LIKE! HE’S ALREADY APPARENTLY CAMP LEADER! HE’S ALREADY GOT CONTROL! WHAT WOULD BECOMING A GOD DO????

MISS! MISS! MISS! COME ON IT’S ULTIMATE POWER AND YOU MISSED 3X IN A ROW! MISS! HOW CAN YOU MISS? HE IS 3 FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!

Percy still should not be flying, but we need the battle to be more epic cuz Percy vs Ares isn’t cool enough and a sudden reveal is too subtle and intense. This final battle misses so many marks.

HE IS FLYING THROUGH A METAL BUILDING AND HE MISSED COMPLETELY! Luke is a terrible shot and just sucks. But apparently can throw a dagger at high speeds at a moving target, so he can aim, he just sucks when plot needs them to.

And there’s the movie poster.

And Luke should’ve been electrocuted, drowned, and died. He should not be alive. But then that would imply Percy is okay with killing people. Cuz Medusa clearly doesn’t count.

And another invisible wall. If she shouldn’t have been able to get to out, she honestly shouldn’t have been able to get on the elevator in the first place.

Look at Hogwarts, I mean, Olympus.

Party City called, they want $50 per costume.

“I have no connection to Poseidon.” I…clearly you do cuz you trusted him enough to help you get out of the Lotus Casino.

This Hermes looks like a loser and deserves Luke’s hate. Nathan Fillion Hermes is Nathan Fillion and still deserves Luke’s hate.

Zeus does not have power to bring back someone from the Underworld. That is not his jurisdiction! The gods can have overlap, 2 gods of war stuff kinda deal, but not fully take control of something that is their domain. Ares has fire eyes, but he cannot control the fire of the hearth. Hephestus and Apollo both make things, but the sun and the fire of a forge are NOT THE SAME!

AND THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER! THAT IMMORTALS CAN BECOME MORTAL JUST BY LOVING TOO MUCH?! LIKE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Tiny baby horns means First Class Protector…that’s not how horns work! Zeus cannot grant a satyr the ability to grow the thing that he’s supposed to grown naturally and say it’s a promotion.

I’m so glad you left the camp where I’m training people to hopefully not die because I clearly don’t care about your safety.

Can Annabeth PLEASE fight with her hair up. “But it makes her look cool and effeminate.” It also means she won’t be able to se when it flies in her face. Like there. And there. And just know.“I kicked him out” she said. And yet, she just keeps the fridge with Medusa’s head and sees no problem with that? Had no plans on killing him with it, just decided that was going to be a better roommate than Gabe? I mean, I guess this Medusa knows how to go down on a woman, but her head is kinda limp and gross.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes.

ATLA

illustrate the remnants of the life i used to live by WitchofEndor

Zuko's soul marks have been regularly burned away since before he knew what they meant. He knows that he cannot be loyal to his father and his nation while also being loyal to a soul family, so he doesn't look for them. Unfortunately, that means that he doesn't know when he's found them.

Stranger things

Shovel Talks by unkreativstermensch (+ podfic)

"Oh,” Steve says. Then again, “oh,” a little quieter. His expression changes; from confusion to something pained almost. “Mr Munson, I don’t…” he takes a deep breath, his voice a little shaky as he continues. “I don’t think he…I don’t think he likes me like that.”

He doesn’t say “it’s not like that.” Neither does he say “I’m not like that.”

That’s the first thing Wayne notices.

or: Wayne decides to give Steve the shovel talk, only to realize he might not be the one needing one

Peaceful Bliss by unkreativstermensch

"Henderson,” Eddie groans. “Do you have any idea what time it is?" He rubs his hands over his face. Dustin nods.

"Of course, it’s 6:15, but we need to talk, it's really urgent, I noticed something about the-" he stops in his tracks when he notices the patch of hair next to Eddie, sticking out from under the covers and in between pillows, and the way Eddie winces because Dustin's talking too loud, and oh shit- there's someone else in bed with him.

or: Dustin has the annoying habit of just busting into Eddie's trailer at ungodly hours. One morning Eddie's not alone though.

SVSSS

Protagonist Rehabilitation Programme by cinnamonsnaps

(oh my god they were roommates)

"Thank you, valued user, for accepting the Protagonist Rehabilitation Programme. Your task: Ensure the protagonist's happiness."

Shen Yuan is convinced that his favouri... least favourite novel's main protagonist isn't really happy. He has babes, money and power, but does he have any friends? Cue the system handily dropping Demon King Luo Binghe into his bedroom. Can Shen Yuan make him happy before the timer runs out?

(90% light-hearted comedy, 10% existential horror and fear because this is the OG PIDW Binghe we're talking about)

Shadowhunters

Families of Choice by MonPetitTresor

Life at the Institute takes a turn for the worse for Alec. When he's alone with no where else to turn, his siblings step up and help him find his feet once more with help from a few new friends along the way. Between them, Alec finally gets a chance to realize that the world doesn't begin and end with being a Shadowhunter, and there's more out there for him, so long as he's got the courage to reach out and grab it.

Salvation lets their wings unfold by HopeSilverheart

Alec is frozen and, when she spots what has him looking so horrified, so is Clary.

Above the fireplace, hanging on the wall like some sort of divine offering, rest a pair of huge, black angel wings, so similar to Alec’s own. The mere sight makes him want to throw up and curl his wings around himself to make sure all his feathers are still in place. He can’t even begin to imagine life without the pair of extra limbs every Nephilim has to deal with. To be faced with the reminder that some people want nothing more than to tear those wings off his back is…

“What the fuck, Alec?” Clary whispers, her voice choked up and angry and alarmed. “Alec, what is this?”

Or: Alec, Clary and Magnus go on a mission to a warlock's home. What they find there leaves its mark on both shadowhunters.

Star Wars

listen, there's a hell of a universe next door by storm_petrel

As it turns out, no one ever taught Luke how to tie a little green baby to his back one-handed, but Luke thinks he's pretty gods-damned good at problem-solving under pressure, thank you, and the baby is at least semi-cooperative. When he's sure the kid is strapped in as tight as he can get, Luke pauses, and reaches back. His fingers graze the wide point of the baby's fuzzy ear. "Well, kid," says Luke, and his voice is a little rough, but not bad, all things considered. "Carrying you on my back while getting the absolute banthashit kicked out of me, at least this feels familiar."

The baby coos in his ear, and then kicks him hard in the kidney. Yoda used to do the exact same thing. Somehow, it's a lot more endearing now.

Or: Luke Skywalker solves a number of life-or-death problems, makes some new friends, falls abruptly in love, and gets shot into space, all in the same day.

Clone Wars

No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold by themonopolyhat

"New orders.” Cody hands the data pad over, and Waxer takes a minute to absorb the screen contents.

“Are we—” He stops, his voice hushed with something like awe. “Do we get to hit Dooku's... the kriff do the natties call it...” He snaps his fingers and points at Wooley for some reason. “Vacation home. Are we gonna burn down Dooku's vacation home?"

Or: Six weeks after Obi-Wan's funeral, the 212th reunites with their general.

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part One: Brothers)

Hey guys, thank you sooo much for getting me to 2,000 followers!! I honestly don’t know what to say... I never dreamed that this little hobby of mine would reach so many eyes, and I can’t be more grateful. At a time in my life where things feel so chaotic and uncertain, being a part of this community and sharing my weird ideas has been what’s kept me going. It’s been such a rewarding experience all around, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart. 😊

I pulled out all the stops for this post. I even brought out one of my favorite songs of all time: Ao to Natsu by Mrs. GREEN APPLE to get the feel juuust right. I hope you all enjoy it!

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again...) For the Undateables, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Lucifer

Really, really, really tried to push Diavolo to just rent out cabins in but noooo, he wasn’t having it... So he ended up driving a van crammed with his brothers, the MC, and a butt-ton of camping equipment into the Alaskan wilderness… 

The car ride itself was insufferable… We’re talking, “I SWEAR I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!” level of antics every 10 miles or so (mostly from Mammon)…

Setting up camp was even more of a nightmare because about half of his brothers were utterly useless. The other half (save Satan) were completely clueless��� Had it not been for Barbatos and Satan he probably would have just resigned himself to the mercy of the river’s currents and let it take him away…

He couldn’t even wear his usual clothes because of the situation… For the first time in who knows how many centuries, he was stuck wearing jeans… Diavolo even bought him several plaid shirts... (which he was not happy with btw because his brother wouldn’t stop making fun of the “new” him)

He had his own tent of decent-size, enough to move around in but nothing to write home about. The very fact he didn’t have to share was a luxury in itself, so he took it for what it was worth...

He spent a good portion of the trip focused on two things: keeping Diavolo happy and everybody else alive. He rarely left camp unless forced to; he just wanted to get it all over with as soon as possible…

If he did leave, it was because Diavolo would drag him along to fish or hike. He was... less than pleased to be called out of his tent at the crack of dawn or well past dusk to sit on a little rented fishing boat with Diavolo… but he didn’t exactly pick his friends so...

He rates the trip Too Much Trouble/10. Let’s never do it again.

Mammon

Wasn’t a massive fan of being stuck out in the wild, but Satan told him some made-up bullshit about buried treasure out in the forest and got him HOOKED. He even borrowed stole a whole bunch of mining/digging equipment just for the occasion!

He spent most of the car ride asking, “Are we there yet??” like a child. The MC had to step in to keep Lucifer from leaving him on the side of the road at multiple points during the journey... 

He was one of the utterly useless ones when it came to setting up camp. Someone charged him with putting up the twin’s tent, and he spent thirty minutes reading (then re-reading) the instructions while shouting expletives. Poor Simeon had to shield Luke from the vulgarity…

He has to share a tent with Levi, which neither of them liked. Mammon mainly because of Levi’s “old fish stink” and Levi because he feared catching “Mammon’s stupid.”

He was all jazzed up to go digging from Day One, though. He’d have breakfast, grab his shovel, then wander out into the middle of nowhere to go dig holes in the ground…

He also got completely lost on Day One, and it took the MC summoning him with their pact to return him to the group... By that time, he was filthy and somehow looked like he had been castaway for days (even though he was gone for like, three hours?)

When he stubbornly refused to stop digging, Lucifer resorted to just tying a rope around his ankle and letting him loose. It was up to Mammon to get back to camp before dinner, or else Lucifer would yank him back like he was on a leash.

Satan waited until the last day to finally tell Mammon the treasure was bullshit, and he was PISSED. He even threw Satan into the river, which resulted in the rest of the brothers joining in for a swim while the two tried to “playfully” drown each other.

He’d rate this trip 0/10 because he didn’t get any buried treasure. What a ripoff…

Leviathan

Hated the idea with a burning, seething passion. There’s no internet, cable, electricity, or phone signal out in the middle of nowhere! How the heck is an otaku supposed to survive?!

He clung to his electronics during the car ride until either they ran out of signal or their battery died, then he didn’t know what to do with himself… He resorted to reading several volumes of the manga he stuffed into his bag and clung to the MC for emotional support…

Yet another useless soul trying to put the camp together. He was in charge of his and Mammon’s tent but ended up almost crying in frustration… How the hell do humans do this all on their own?? Wasn’t he supposed to be the third strongest?! Why is he so pathetic?!? 😫

Hates sharing a tent with Mammon because he always wakes up to the second born encroaching on his space somehow… Poor baby is pretty much directly against the tent wall and STILL has to deal with legs and elbows in his side... 😰

Spends the majority of the trip moping in the tent... If he goes out there, he has to deal with the sun, bugs, and people… No thanks. He only leaves for meals and occasionally to go swimming. 

When he found out part of the way through that Barbs brought portable solar panels and a battery pack for Diavolo and Lucifer’s phones, he was livid. He demanded access to the power source, which Lucifer refused because “It would defeat the purpose of this trip.”

He’d have summoned Lotan right then and there, deadass in the middle of the forest, if the MC hadn’t intervened. He then went back to moping, but now at the bottom of the lake and it took a lot of coaxing to get him back out…

On the final day, he was packing up the camp before anyone else even woke up. He wanted OUT and back to civilization ASAP. Bedroom here he comes!

Satan

You wouldn’t think of Satan as an outdoorsy guy. Still, he has shades of a survivalist in him (mostly because he’s read a lot of guides and was looking for an excuse to use them for a loooong time).

He read for the majority of the ride. He was squished between Asmo and Levi, which was reasonably peaceful. But he did end up shouting at Mammon quite a bit towards the end because “NO, we’re not there yet, peabrain!!”

He actually wasn’t a waste of space when setting up the camp, and between him, Barbs, and Lucifer, they were able to get a lot of stuff set up before sundown. He did have to bark a few orders to the others here and there, but overall competency won out in the end.

He shared a tent with Asmo, and the two made it work well enough… Except when Asmo did things like spraying his perfumes and dry shampoos, making it practically impossible to breathe in for a few minutes…

Spent a lot of the first few days reinforcing the camp to a ridiculous degree.

Did he have to collect large branches to build an exterior fence around the campsite? No. But he did.

Did he have to set up a water distillation system using some of the materials Barbs had lying around the “kitchen?” No. But he did.

Did he have to weave a series of fishing nets to catch them lunch from the lake and river? I think you get the point by now.

Only once he built pretty much every contraption or improvement he could think of, did he go back to just reading and relaxing by the fire.

By the time the group was ready to leave, Satan had somehow managed to craft them a veritable, self-sustaining fortress in the middle of the Alaskan wilds…

Overall he would rate the trip as… meh. Next time give him a challenge like a deserted island or an actual desert, and then he’ll really see what he can do.

Asmodeus

Was about as unhappy with the idea as Levi was… It wasn’t that he disliked the outdoors per se, it was just that no one, NO ONE, pulls off looking flawless after several days stuck in a tent!

He chatted the entire car ride from start to finish. He never stopped talking. It made for decent background noise at least…

Was one of the more clueless ones when trying to set up camp and pretty just did what he was ordered. The second he was left to try and figure something out on his own, he went to Lucifer or Satan for help because NOPE. Human equipment is needlessly complicated sometimes…

He had to share a tent with Satan, which in theory shouldn’t have been that bad, but Satan was out basically all day in the sun doing who knows what and would always come back sweaty and gross! At some points, he had to chase his brother out of the tent until he dunked himself in the river or something. No way was Asmo sleeping next to that. 😤

Asmo took the second-longest to get up and get ready in the morning. Sometimes he wouldn’t even leave the tent until well past breakfast just in an attempt to salvage his hair and skin… He only got grouchier about it as the trip went on… 😥

A more… earthy looking Asmo is kind of a bizarre sight. He’s still attractive, no doubt, but it’s less like polished glamour and more like Hollywood humble. He spent the majority of the trip looking like a somewhat dirtied movie-star (which he still insisted was the worst he’s ever looked in ages).

Aside from salvaging his looks, he actually enjoyed taking pictures of their surroundings or of the group (but not himself). He sometimes forgot how genuinely breathtaking the human world could be…

….but his patience for the place wore out quickly once he started noticing his hair getting greasy. He was right next to Levi, packing up the site once it was finally time to leave. At least those two finally found something they could agree on, let’s get the fuck out already! 

Beelzebub

He was really curious about trying camping food and pretty excited that Barbatos was coming, too (because that meant great food in general).

Unfortunately, Lucifer had to stop the van at basically every gas station they passed for Beel could refill on snacks… Belphie ended up getting buried in wrappers pretty often, but he was asleep, so it didn’t matter much.

Beel did a lot of the heavy lifting when setting the camp up, but the finer details were left up to everybody else. He had his hands full getting stuff off the cars as is…

Of course, he shared a tent with Belphie, and there wasn’t much complaint between them. Honestly, there would have been more drama if they were split, so this was the better option.

After the MC told Beel about fishing and how it could net him more food, if he did it right, he knew exactly what he wanted to do during the trip.

… But no one told him how long and slow the process would be. There were points he’d get so hungry he’d consider eating the bait himself…

That was until about Day Three of the trip when they passed by a river full of grizzly bears… He was about to ask the MC why the bears were all standing in the water, but then he saw a fish practically leap directly into one’s mouth…

Beel had discovered his true calling.

Of course, the grizzlies didn’t take too kindly to a demon suddenly sprinting into the water with them. They tried to fight him off, but Beel just tossed most of them downstream without any issue until they realized who the apex predator really was…

After forming a shaky truce with the bears, Beel would stand in the water for hours then come back with whole baskets full of salmon… There were far more fish than Barbatos knew what to do with, so he’d just confiscate a few then let Beel eat the rest...

The MC shuddered to think about what Beel had done to the local salmon population… But he was full and happy for most of the trip, so he had a great time!

Belphegor

Sleep for him isn’t too contingent on location, so the idea of camping wasn’t terrible. It did sound like a lot of hassle for no good reason, though…

He spent the entire car ride asleep, head and cow pillow pressed up against the window and everything. It wasn’t the most comfortable experience, but he’d dealt with worse.

He was utterly useless when putting up the camp by choice, thank you. He had more than enough sense to get things put together; he just didn’t want to. If he wasn’t asked to do something by Beel or the MC, he’d just lay back in the grass and smugly watch everybody else struggle…

Again, he and Beel are in the same tent, and you wouldn’t hear any complaints out of him. He did start to have some second thoughts when Beel began getting a fishy smell, though, so he tried to bunk with the MC in their tent for a while.

Like Levi, Belphie didn’t leave the tent much during the daylight hours, but that was because he was still asleep… There was no good way to wake him with no alarms available, so he’d sleep in past lunch easily.

When he was awake, he didn’t leave camp very much except to walk with the MC or watch Beel fishing grizzly-style.

Eventually, Asmo and Diavolo got sick of him dodging their photos, so they’d started posing him Weekend at Bernie’s style around the camp (always conveniently propped up by something and with sunglasses on)

Something Belphie did like, however, was the nighttime. Since there were no lights around, he could practically see everything the sky had to offer. He could spend hours laying on his back long after everyone else had gone to bed just admiring the stars.

All in all, not a terrible trip. Anything that could give him that view like that was well worth it. 6/10, would sleep again.

Click HERE for Part Two. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[violetwolfraven]

Willie Headcanons

So I actually came up with this like a month ago and forgot to post it. Anyway enjoy my headcanons about our favorite sk8er boi. Be ready for feels.

Tw: death, car accident mention, emotional manipulation.

...

In my mind, Willie had a good relationship with his parents. They were supportive and everything. They both loved Willie very much.

And Willie has youngest child energy so I’m saying he has a sister who’s 2 years older and a brother who’s 5 years older. Their names are Delilah and Austin.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES.

Seriously imagine the worst possible combination of head empty only skateboarding and you’ve got Willie, Delilah, and Austin.

Austin started skating when he was 7 and got Delilah hooked on it a year later.

Their parents kinda didn’t like the idea of it but those two had already started teaching Willie basic stuff by the time he was 3.

But... the other two had other interests. Delilah was into art (painting) and Austin played piano (like, really well).

For Willie, skateboarding was his thing. And it always was.

He had fun with it when his big brother would put his hands on his and teach him to play a bit, or his sister would give him some paint and a spare canvas and they’d doodle together, but it wasn’t like skating.

As far as I’ve seen (which admittedly isn’t that far) it’s widely accepted that Willie has ADHD so I’m leaning into that here.

And Willie inherited his brain from his dad, who had a bad experience with meds and so wouldn’t let any of his kids go through it.

So Willie grew up unmedicated but probably better off for the time period. His dad taught him coping mechanisms. Him and Austin. Delilah didn’t inherit it but she was taught to empathize with her brothers and recognize when they needed her help with something.

She’s a badass who can and does beat up anybody who’s mean to her brothers for missing social cues.

But anyway while Austin had piano (and skating as a side thing) Willie got even more hooked on skateboarding than either of his siblings because his brain latched onto it from a young age and couldn’t let go.

We all have our outlets. The chaos in our brains has to go somewhere. For Willie it goes into skating.

When he’s young he and his siblings will skateboard to school and then after school they’ll skate all around Hollywood for hours.

They do their homework in random McDonalds and Denny’s and tbh become local cryptid customers. Like they’re just these 3 super friendly skater siblings who tip really well and visit every fast food place within a 20 mile radius of their house with varying frequency.

They also find e v e r y skatepark, empty pool, and vacant lot in that 20 mile radius that they can possibly find.

Their parents have to bail them out of jail for trespassing and the occasional vandalism every so often.

Sometimes one of them has stuff to do and it’s just two of them out skating but if two of them are busy the other one never goes out alone cause it’s dangerous. We’ll get back to that later.

So anyway when they’re 17, 14, and 12, Delilah comes out as a lesbian.

And the family is supportive of course because they’re a good family.

But her coming out gets Willie thinking. About how some of his friends have crushes on girls but he just... doesn’t see the appeal.

Like he has a couple friends who are girls and they’re great and he likes hanging out with them at recess but he doesn’t get the hype. They’re just more friends. So he doesn’t really see what his big sister is so interested in either.

In my mind Willie actually is from around the same time as the boys (dying in like 1999) so one day while nobody else in their house is home he and Delilah are watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Willie’s again wondering why people think Leia is so hot cause she’s cool and all but Luke is right there and he looks really good and—

Willie: I think I might be gay.

Delilah: Yeah I know.

They talk about it and Willie does decide to tell the rest of the family but he’s a bit wary about anyone else because he saw how some of Delilah’s friends turned on her after she came out. He doesn’t want that to happen to him.

He does end up telling a few of his friends but he doesn’t quite not care what people think of him the way his big sister does.

Austin is the only straight one and he’s like. So awkward about it but in a sweet way.

Austin: So, Britney Spears is hot, right?

Delilah: Stop.

And

Austin: So I saw you hanging around Chris the other day are you two..?

Willie: ...no...???

Austin: Cool, yeah I didn’t think so. Just had to make sure. Not that I’m doubting your ability to get boys but I’d have to shovel talk him if you were.

Willie: If I ever do get a boyfriend, please don’t.

He tries. He’s a himbo if that wasn’t clear. Where did you think Willie learned it?

So anyway fast forward a couple years and they’re 22, 19, and 17. Austin and Delilah are both in college and Willie’s the last one left at home and things between their parents start getting... tense.

Like they don’t fight exactly but they’ve fallen out of love and things are awkward.

Even Austin and Delilah can tell and they’re only home on breaks and some weekends but for Willie it’s right there and he’s watching it happen. He has no option but to see.

They used to have a rule that they don’t go skating alone because it’s dangerous but Willie just can’t make himself stay home so he goes out skateboarding.

At first it’s never too far from home or anywhere where there’s too much traffic but as things get increasingly awkward at home he goes out farther and farther, chasing the adrenaline high he used to get from going anywhere and everywhere every day after school with his siblings.

Then his parents officially tell him they’re getting divorced and

And it’s not like he couldn’t see it coming, but... it still hurts.

And neither of his siblings are coming home any time soon so

So he goes out skating on his own, way too far from home. He keeps going until he doesn’t even know where he is anymore.

He isn’t really paying attention the way he should but that’s not why he runs into trouble.

The driver of that red pickup is drunk and he rounds the corner out of nowhere.

If Delilah or Austin had been there they could have yelled for Willie to jump out of the way, or maybe up on the hood so the impact wouldn’t be as bad, but he’s alone.

So he gets hit, and the car was going fast enough that he’s dead before he even hits the pavement.

After that there’s a lot of confusion but once Willie figures out he’s a ghost... it’s too painful to think about going home, so he just... doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to see his family mourning him, so he just distracts himself, skating everywhere he couldn’t before without getting busted.

Plus some old routes where he used to go with Delilah and Austin, just for something that’s familiar but not too familiar.

He’s on one of those more familiar routes a few weeks after his death when he’s skating down Sunset Boulevard one night, singing along to Toxic by Britney Spears blasting from a nearby club and a man dressed in a purple suit comments on how he’s got a good voice.

Honestly Willie is just so relieved to have someone to talk to that he forgets about stranger danger completely.

Plus he recognizes an Elder Gay in Caleb and assumes he can trust him because the Elder Gays he met at pride that one time he went with Delilah were so nice and understanding of how reassuring it was to see queer people of older generations who got a happy ending.

Caleb barely even has to try. He just lets this 17-year-old obviously-queer ghost rant at him for a few minutes, asks a few questions and finds out that he also can play piano, and convinces him to come to the Hollywood Ghost Club the next night.

From there it’s not like Willie has anyone to save him so of course he has to join the club.

At first he’s completely alone because the other performers scare him almost as much as Caleb does.

Then slowly, he sees how they give him space because they know he’s scared of them. How they turn a blind eye when he leaves the club without permission. How they don’t critique his mistakes with the same sarcasm they show each other.

Willie starts to realize that the other performers are doing their best to look out for him, and he starts being less afraid.

They’re all too concerned with their own survival to really protect him but if they draw some attention to themselves occasionally so Caleb doesn’t notice Willie being slow to pick up some tricky choreography, that’s not too risky.

The others are all like 21 at the youngest and they really don’t appreciate Caleb tricking a literal child into working for him no matter how talented said child is. (Cause Willie is good at singing and piano. It’s just not his passion.)

The twins are 22 but they died in 1925 and before that they were performing to support a younger brother who they never got to say goodbye to so maybe they see Willie as a kind of second chance.

Lyssa (what I decided to name drummer woman because I don’t know her real name if she has one) is 25 and she died in 1984. She had a daughter who’d be about Willie’s age now and... who knows? Maybe they were friends.

Fuego is 24 and from 1951 and he had a childhood best friend who enlisted and died in WWII that he thought he might get to see when he died but that boy moved on and so... well, Willie’s just a little younger than his friend was the last time he saw him.

In short Willie becomes everyone’s baby brother and they do what they can to look out for him even if they’re just as scared of Caleb as he is.

And the better adjusted Willie gets to (after)life at the HGC and the better they get to know him, the guiltier the others start to feel about him being stuck there.

Eventually a combination of guilt and worked-up courage leads Fuego tells him about the whole unfinished business thing, in hopes maybe he can figure his out and get away from Caleb.

It doesn’t take Willie long to think of his family, how hopeless he felt about the divorce, how worried he was it would change everything and then how scared he was to see his family in pain because of his death.

He realizes his unfinished business is probably seeing them. Letting himself say goodbye.

He almost gets away with it.

Caleb catches up and stops him in the driveway of his house and poofs them back to the HGC.

He convinces (gaslights) Willie into believing that saying goodbye was never his unfinished business and even if it was it’s not like it would matter because Caleb wouldn’t let him do it.

The next morning he ships the HGC out to Tokyo. They stay on the move for a long time and when they are in town, Willie is basically locked in his room.

The next time he’s allowed out in Hollywood, his parents don’t live in their old house anymore and he has no way to find them.

As a coping mechanism, he just starts making the best of a bad situation. Becoming better friends with the other ghosts. Helping soften the blow whenever someone new comes along.

None of that means he stops checking the faces of passing skaters or keeping eyes on restaurants his folks used to like, but it does mean he more or less gives up hope.

That’s what he’s doing when he bumps into Alex.

Look, Willie loves his friends at the HGC. He really does. But there’s a big difference between 17 and 20-something. Like the others will drink alcohol some nights and technically Willie was born over 21 years ago but he still feels weird enough about it that he doesn’t drink.

He hasn’t talked to anyone his age in a long time so Alex is a breath of fresh air.

Also he’s like. Really cute. And sweet. And funny. And shit, Willie’s fallen for him before he even has time to think about it.

He keeps thinking about how Alex doesn’t seem like he’d be physically capable of hurting someone on purpose so Austin would approve and every once in a while there’s that sarcasm that pops out which means he’d get along great with Delilah.

In general Alex is the kind of guy he would’ve loved to take home to meet the family. Them not included, he’s kind of... everything Willie’s missed about Hollywood in the form of one person.

Then they hang out more and Alex is still everything he’s missed but he’s also so much more than that and...

It almost feels like a part of Alex is still alive. And for the first time in years, a part of Willie feels alive, too.

They’ve known each other for like a week tops and Willie is already in love.

Not that he’s admitting that to anyone, because he’s learned the hard way that anyone you care about can be used against you.

Still... when Alex asks for help getting revenge on Bobby, he can’t bring himself to say no because he needs to keep Alex in his (after)life and the only way he knows how to do that (or to make people be nice to him in general) is to be as useful as possible.

That turns out to be a big mistake, because Caleb sees right through him in an instant, targets Alex to confirm it, then immediately starts the process to trick the boys into committing to eternity at the HGC.

Willie feels like an idiot for thinking he could actually get away with it. Doing something good for someone he cares about.

He hadn’t thought Caleb would be interested in them because he’d never actually heard them play. The assumption was that he’d make them do some small favor and then let them talk to their bandmate for 5 minutes. A clean deal where they never have to commit to anything. Willie forgot to take magic into account.

He almost manages to convince himself it was all a bad dream, but when he seeks out Alex and his friends to check on them, he can almost feel the jolts himself, and seeing Alexthem in pain feels terrible.

Willie knows that theoretically they could figure out their unfinished business and cross over, but that all depends on finding it and doing it fast enough and if they failed...

People you care about can be used against you. And Willie does not want to be used against Alex again. He doesn’t want to see Alex used against him.

So he keeps his distance, in hopes Caleb will think he lost interest. He’s pretty sure once the boys find out about the stamp they’ll hate him, anyway.

And plus, as he’s been taught by his friends at the HGC, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Maybe you hurt somebody by not standing up for them, but you can apologize later and hope they forgive you. You can’t apologize if you’re gone, and it’s not like it would make a difference anyway because Caleb is too powerful for anyone to beat.

The thought of how spending eternity with Alex might not be so bad even if it has to be at the HGC does come up, but ironically that’s what makes Willie decide to screw his courage to the sticking point and tell them.

Because he has seen what decades at the club has done to his friends.

They’re all great performers, and they perform happiness well even to each other, but Willie knows them enough to know how tired they all are. How they have been doing the same thing over and over again for decades and they are sick of it.

They’re young, talented tragedies lost to drug overdoses, or AIDS, or accidents, or suicide, and they should’ve gotten to rest after everything they went through in their lives. Instead, they got a curse disguised as a blessing. They got to stay on a stage, got to keep performing and soaking up applause, never got to stop.

Willie has been there a shorter time than most of them and he feels it. The exhaustion, because ghosts are supposed to haunt for a few years then figure out their unfinished business and move on. They’re not meant to be trapped for decades, used as party tricks.

A part of Alex still feels alive and being trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club for years on end would kill that part of him.

Willie can’t let that happen, so as hard as it is...

He tells the boys what’s wrong with them. And by that hurt, betrayed look in Alex’s eyes, he’s honestly expecting him to never forgive him.

But then Alex does. And that almost hurts worse because whether he figures out his unfinished business or not, Willie doubts he’s ever going to see him again.

He honest to God almost cries when Alex hugs him because... shit, he hasn’t gotten a hug since he was breathing.

He goes back to the HGC and tries to go about his day, and keeps replaying how good it felt to have Alex’s arms around him, hoping that memory will get him through the next few decades on his own.

The ghosts at the club do actually gossip a fair amount and by this point all of them know about the 3 dead members of Sunset Curve.

So when Willie admits to Helen (what I’m calling one of the twins) that Alex hugging him was the first time he’d gotten a hug since he died, she hugs him tight for a good 20 seconds, telling him she’s sorry he has to lose him, and if Willie closes his eyes he can almost pretend it’s Delilah.

The next thing he knows, he’s locked in a closet.

Caleb comes to talk to (intimidate) him a few hours later, saying he knows what Willie did.

He’s magically locked in his room alone for a couple weeks after that and it’s essentially psychological torture.

Helen, Anna (what I decided to call the other twin), Dante, Fuego, Lyssa, and everyone else tell him not to test Caleb for the next couple years, but Willie has a heart full of love and a head full of fuck it, so he doesn’t listen.

He gives it exactly one day of being/acting scared and obedient, then goes out without permission again, fully intending to scream in a museum alone to let out all his feelings.

Remember: Willie didn’t see the Orpheum performance. He doesn’t know the boys didn’t cross over but by Caleb’s mood he has a feeling the outcome of that scenario was not in the magician’s favor.

He gets there and it’s literally this comic by the very talented @williessweatycherrysocks

He can’t stay long but he and Alex scream in each other’s faces, talk a bit, maybe sing a duet.

After that, they sneak to see each other when they can but don’t get to see much of each other for months.

It’s hard on both of them but they don’t give up on their relationship.

Through long and complicated events which I will outline later, Willie eventually gets free of the HGC, hugs his friends goodbye already making plans to take down Caleb for good to free them, too, and promptly declines an offer to stay in the Molinas’ garage.

As much as he wants to be close to Alex he’s done being confined to one place.

He still comes and visits like every day tho.

He knows a lot more about ghosting than the other boys do so he and Carlos get along amazingly like:

Carlos: So do you know who Jack the Ripper was?

Willie: No? How old do you think I am?

Carlos: I dunno but I thought it might be Caleb cause that would explain how he never got caught.

Willie, taking notes in his Things To Potentially Use To Take Caleb Down notebook: You’re a tiny genius.

No one was expecting it but everyone is in awe of how well he and Carrie get along. Between the two of them they know so much celebrity gossip. (and it’s definitely a good thing he’s on good terms with her cause she and Alex are close)

On the angsty side, Willie also bonds with Nick over how they both know how it feels to be manipulated and used by Caleb.

Also it takes a long time before he’s able to trust him, but he does get adopted into the Molina clan by Ray.

Ray reminds him a lot of his own dad, once Willie’s able to see that he’s nothing like Caleb.

Ray’s honestly just 100% happy to Dad™️ anyone who needs a dad so it works out great once Julie and the boys figure out how to make Willie visible.

But anyway back to important stuff.

Now that they don’t have to hide for any reason, Willie and Alex can both breathe a little easier. Or... they both feel better. Ghosts don’t really breathe.

Willie can finally let himself get used to feeling alive again.

The whole ghost gang goes (invisibly) to the Los Feliz Homecoming dance and maybe it should make him feel a little on-edge with the kind of club-like environment but...

He’s got Alex there, and they’re dancing to some corny pop love song from the 90s that Flynn probably put on because she knew the ghost boys would be there so how could he feel anything but safe?

For a minute it almost feels like actually being alive and there’s yellow and pink and blue lights coming from everywhere reflecting in Alex’s eyes and Willie is suddenly very aware of the fact that though they’ve been together for a long time now, they haven’t had their first kiss.

Then the Cha Cha Slide starts up and the atmosphere switches and Willie totally forgets about the whole romantic tension thing because it’s the Cha Cha Slide everybody has to dance along.

Dirty Candi performs towards the end of the night and the ghost boys cheer the loudest despite how Julie’s laughing at them. They don’t care that Carrie can’t even hear them, they’re being supportive!!!

Everybody screams even louder when Flynn runs up on stage and kisses Carrie and Willie feels a big burst of affection at how Alex shouts ABOUT TIME!

Then he gives Willie a quick hug and leaves cause he and the rest of Julie and the Phantoms have to go get set up for their performance.

Since Alex was able to flip Carrie’s hair in All Eyes on Me I’m saying that ghosts can touch lifers if they focus and believe it will happen hard enough, so the ghost gang has developed a system for alerting their non-Julie lifer friends to their presence.

So while they’re waiting in the crowd Willie taps Carrie on the shoulder like: • - - one short tap, two long taps, a Morse code ‘W’ and Carrie lets Flynn know that he’s there.

(Nick can see him too but Nick’s off somewhere with his date {one of his lacrosse teammates you know the one})

Anyway so Julie goes out and starts up the song and then the rest of the band poofs in but

Something’s unusual.

Cause it’s not Luke on the lower main vocals.

It’s

Alex

Singing while he plays the drums and fucking killing it.

Willie totally bluescreens for a second but then when he actually focuses on the lyrics...

It’s a new song about beating the odds and being with the person you love in spite of the challenges that come with them.

And yeah there are Julie elements in there, (and she’s definitely making heart eyes at Luke even as he sticks to backup vocals) because of course there are since she has to start the song up, but

But Willie might not have any formal music training, but he was at the HGC long enough to know his stuff about music and recognize different artists’ styles.

And there’s a time signature switch on the bridge that’s a little off from how Luke would write it. There’s a swing to the melody that’s a bit more ‘pop’ than the band’s usual songs. Julie’s harmony doesn’t go as high as it normally would, as if whoever wrote the song didn’t have as high of an upper range to work with as she does.

The song is so unmistakably Alex that no one else could have written it.

Flynn and Carrie are quietly making smug comments on what they bet his face looks like right now but Willie’s not listening to them.

On the last chorus, Alex fucking winks at him right before poofing out.

Willie has whiplash like how did they go from him having to psych Alex up to break into a museum even when there’s zero chance of getting caught to Alex openly flirting with him from the stage?

He poofs backstage right as the boys get back from dropping their instruments back in the Molinas’ garage and he honestly doesn’t know what he even wants to say to convey how amazing that performance was.

Then Alex just smiles at him.

Alex: So I take it you liked the song?

Willie: Can I kiss you right now?

They both kinda freeze after he blurts that out and Reggie goes wow really quietly before he and Luke poof out to give them some privacy and whoops now they’re both flustered but

Alex: Wow, didn’t expect that. That’s... um, wow. But yeah.

They kiss and it’s a total romcom moment.

And the story’s far from over, but to Willie this definitely feels like happily ever after.

[daydreamreality]

Thinking about actor availability, and how that affects my perception of Jess and how strongly I feel about shipping Literati.

Really thought this would only be a few paragraphs going over the points where Jess could have disappeared never to be seen again, but it turned into a freaking essay so LONG POST warning if you decide to click ahead. 

If the last we saw of Jess was hanging up the phone in the season 3 finale: "Well, it was fun ride while it lasted. That's about how I thought this would end." Still have a lot empathy for this kid and wish him well, but you screwed with Rory's heart like I knew would happen. Was that intentional? No. But he was so immature, out of control with his emotions, zero communication skills, not trusting in others...the list of reasons why he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even if the feelings were serious, goes on. There was no way Rory wasn't going to end up as collateral damage in his personal breakdown that I could feel was going to happen. And this is the thought I had as a teenager with no dating experience watching this show for the first time. Did I want to date him? Hell no! I could see that trainwreck from a mile away. Rory was naïve to put her heart in his trust but that's part of her good qualities - she's sees the best in people and champions for them. I could go on a tangent about why exactly Jess was such an important character to me when I first watched the show (and probably why he stuck around unconsciously until I decided on a whim to rewatch GG in lockdown) but...I don't know, maybe some other time.

In the context of the entire show, I would look back at the relationship as my favorite one to watch of Rory's in the series (The build-up! The connection! Their deep belief in and respect for each other! The angst!) and Jess being a really fun character to root for (and yell at) but endgame? It was a short lived but important relationship. It’s fun to think about what ifs and how circumstances could have changed to make it work, but we can move on.

The ill-fated spin-off: I have no idea what this show would have been about except focusing on Jess and Jimmy and I’m not about to theorize. I still like Jess at this point so it would probably make me like him more since we’re getting a deeper dive into his character, but in regard to shipping him with Rory, this opinion would not change unless he all of sudden showed some great maturity. But I doubt this show would have even gotten a whole season so that probably wouldn’t happen. And then he’s living in California…this is too much, moving on.

If the last we see of Jess is in season 4: About the same feeling as above. Life, as expected, has not been treating Jess well. At all. His jadedness and hostility is at an all-time high when he shows up to get his car. Do I see the reasons informing his behavior and have empathy (once again, for a KID)? Yes, but he's also being a jerk. "The years don't seem to have hardened you." Well this year sure has!

I love the "I love you" scene but too little too late, buddy. That's probably why I love it, it's all a bit hopeless. Just keep shoveling the angst at me. I do like fics where this scene is reimagined with Rory running after him to give him a piece of her mind or Jess finding some other words to say (I really feel like he had more to say there but got overwhelmed), and coming to a tentative reconciliation: exchanging numbers, "don't fall off the face of the earth," but getting back together? No. You hurt her and you're feeling the consequences. Rory is not obligated or responsible to reciprocate those feelings, nor is she in a place to do that right now. 

But season 4 does cement that Luke and Jess's relationship is one of my favorites in the entire show. There's probably a whole other post in me regarding that so I'll keep it brief. Because of his respect for Luke, Jess makes tentative steps towards maturing in interpersonal relationships. He shows some vulnerability and honesty with a veil of sarcasm and awkwardness because, well, it's JESS.

But then of course this all goes to hell when applied to Rory. Sometimes I like to think how this dorm scene would have gone down if Rory stepped back for a second and went, "Hold on. You're not making any sense, chill out," and they could have talked a bit and had a similar reconciliation like I said above because I really think that’s all he was going for - to talk to her, apologize, and make an attempt at reciprocation like he did with Luke. But getting back together here? Canonically, he hasn't made enough progress. He set aside his personal feelings to be in his mother's wedding and used the knowledge from the self-help book to apologize to Luke, but I don't think the book's message has sunk in all the way yet and he’s still got a massive chip on his shoulder preventing him from making a good life for himself. Getting rejected by Rory here is an important moment and I really like it. It's fun to think about the AU if Rory had said yes (hello road trip!), but it's very in-character for her to not be able to handle Jess's crisis and just shouting "NO, make it stop." This is one of my proudest of Rory moments: Protect your heart girl, he ain't ready. The seeds have been planted that Jess will continue to grow and I wish him well on his journey. Endgame material? Nah. Goodbye forever, take care my friend...

Even though this scene doesn't feel like closure at all, I really thought this was the end of Jess Mariano. So imagine my surprise when -

SEASON 6: HE'S BACK. Coming out of the shadows, [literally] it's Jess Marianoooo *air horns* *confetti* *jazz hands* *Jess rolls his eyes at the fanfare*

Alright, that's out of my system. But for real that's what my mind did at this point. For context, the way I watched this show for the first time was getting the DVDs from the library while a couple of seasons were still on the air; when a new season was available to borrow, I would rewatch all the seasons up to the current point so my memories and favorite parts of the show are seasons 1-4. Because I was not bingeing the show all the way through, seeing Jess here seemingly so different didn’t feel out of place. A shock, yes! A happy surprise. But nothing about him seemed OOC. A year had gone by, we’d seen some signs of maturity in him, and getting rejected by Rory was a big kick in the ass for him to start making bigger changes in his life. I really cannot emphasize how satisfying and sensical his positive character development felt to me. 

The slight maturity we see in season 4 in its full potential. Jess is still Jess: guarded, self-deprecating, and a bit prickly but he shows a sense of calm and feeling more comfortable in his skin. This is really satisfying to see as someone who always "knew" there was a kind and capable heart underneath the exterior just like Rory did, and that tough guy, must protect myself at all costs posturing has melted away. But that side of him isn't gone, it's not like the writing did a complete 180 on his character. I love this. He's just...more at peace with himself but he's not a different person, and he's found something to direct his focus and intellect on. He's made his peace with Luke, and now he has something of worth to show Rory to try to mend that hurt as well.

Yes, it would have been nice to see how and why he decided to write a book and work in publishing but this course of events is not out of left field, nor is Jess enough of a main character at this point for scenes like this to be necessary to the show unless they were tied to Luke and showing another side of him. Jess has shown in the past that he has a good work ethic if he feels it is worth it. The problem wasn't him being lazy, just poor decision making and focusing on RIGHT NOW, "I need to get out of Stars Hollow and live my life," and not considering the consequences of his actions. Which as an immature kid whose life had told him he can only depend on himself...not out of the ordinary. The dude’s life passion is literature and has probably read every book he can get his hands on, it’s not crazy that he had his own story in him. 

Here is where Literati becomes endgame material for me. Prior to the revival it was always my feeling that post-series they would reconnect while Rory was on the campaign or afterwards. It would be low drama (except for Lorelai criticism), slowly gaining trust in each other again, and eventually starting a committed relationship within a year or two of being friends with sexual tension (lol). They made their adolescent mistakes, hurt each other, but learned from it and started over on infinitely better footing.

The match just makes sense to me at this point for many reasons; I don't feel like I need to list them all out because you can go to any pro-Literati post and I'll probably agree with the majority of the points. The biggest issue they had was timing: “Right heart, wrong time.” I like especially how they even out each other's more extreme personality traits. For example, Rory learning from Jess to consider her own feelings instead of sacrificing herself for others, and Jess considering others before himself all the time. Or professionally, I can see Jess encouraging her to step away from her ultra-organized, “everything has to be just so” ways when it benefits her to seize an opportunity right now, don’t worry about the details, you got this. Maybe Jess has another book in him, but his self-deprecation and disorganization prevent him from getting it done but Rory helps him be more objective and focused. There’s this…synergistic energy I feel with the two of them: they’re great by themselves, but form something better together.

Judging from Rory's reactions towards him in this season, I don't think it's OOC for her to have romantic feelings for him again. She's extremely proud of his accomplishments and not unhappy to see him (not holding a grudge). They fall back into their comfortable dynamic even if it makes them both a bit nervous. Now some could argue that this means that Rory only wants to be friends with him but...when have Jess and Rory ever been just friends? If "Another Year in the Life" comes out (I've got serious doubts but would love to be proved wrong) and Rory rejects him or he's not even a part of it, fine! But I just don't see anything in canon that says explicitly she'll never feel romantic towards him again.

Now the kiss...there's a lot of ways to read that scene. Do I think Jess was in the right to assume "everything is fixed" as a go ahead? No. But that's part of why he is such an engaging character: he's impulsive and acts in accordance to his feelings, and yes, this gets himself and others in trouble. 

Do I think Rory purposefully went to the open house to "use" Jess to get back at Logan? No. I think she genuinely wanted to support him, and Logan being out of town meant she wouldn't have to explain why it was important for her to go. I see the kiss paralleling the one in 2x22 but instead of Rory not being able to hold her feelings in any longer, Jess initiates. The way I see it is she was unaware she still had lingering feelings towards him (not out of nowhere, I mean their relationship has "unfinished business" written all over it) and that scared the crap out of her, just like at the end of season 2. So she runs away to the "safe space" that is being with Logan. Because she's in love with Logan, she has a sense of obligation towards him, and Rory has shown many times that she does not react well to change and highly emotional situations.

Is this scene a deal breaker for a future relationship between them? I don't think so. Jess says that he isn't sorry she came, which I take as "I'll never be sorry to see you no matter the context." Yes, this hurt him and made him pretty mad, but I don't think he's holding a grudge against her for this; even in the moment he's more concerned that someone cheated on her and her safety getting to her car. He sets a boundary that he doesn't deserve his feelings to be pushed around like this and Rory agrees. Not that I condone this sort of tit-for-tat hurting of each other (which I don't think Rory was going for in the first place) but it's almost like...that cycle is now broken. The whole scene is so open ended, it doesn't feel like a "good bye forever" to Jess.

"But Rory is so in love with Logan!" I don't know about you, but that "I'm in love with him despite all the bad he's done..." sounds so defeated and sad. It's almost like she's resigned herself to being in love with Logan. The first time I watched this, I thought this was foreshadowing that the relationship was on its last legs. To keep them together, Logan almost dies so Rory will bury her hurt out of guilt for holding a grudge against him. She is completely entitled to feeling hurt by Logan's actions, and I hate that she feels like she has to do this. But it happened, moving on.

"But Rory is a cheater!" When I think about Rory's characteristics, "cheater" doesn't make the list. She feels entitled to the men that she's loved and this isn’t super great behavior, but I don't view her as inherently unfaithful or okay with cheating. I give her leeway on the season 2 Jess kiss because she was a teenager with a lot of conflicting emotions and everything around her was pushing her to stay with Dean. The season 4 Dean debacle...she was still very young and naïve. I put most of the blame on Dean for manipulating her; I say most because if Rory really wanted to be with him, she should have been more sure of the status of his marriage, but I repeat: he manipulated her and she was very young and naïve. I dare to say she has been conditioned to view Dean as nothing but safe and trustworthy so why wouldn't she believe him... Season 4 was all about her being out of sorts when away from the Stars Hollow bubble and trying to reclaim some normalcy. Narratively, I see why this makes sense and I don't think the intention was to say “Rory is okay with cheating,” but to show very explicitly that Rory isn't perfect. This show goes to extremes, at this point I kind of just accept it and don't jump to "this person/character is terrible!" Certain characteristics and behaviors I have less patience for (mild) or will make me lose all respect for a character (extreme - honestly very few GG characters fall into this category for me); you may feel differently and that's fine. When other plot points in this series are much more bizarre and OOC, while this turn of events makes me uncomfortable and angry, at least it makes sense to me.

The 6x18 kiss I've already said that I don't think Rory had premeditated intent to cheat on Logan judging from the fact that Jess initiated it; yes, she went with it nor was it a complete surprise, I get this. The "I couldn't even cheat on him..." line I think is an outburst of guilt and regret, not her saying she had a plan in mind. Maybe I'm being too soft on her, I don't know...she did stay there late but maybe she just got lost in the book while waiting to say bye. We've seen her not know how to deal with conflicting emotions and change to her status quo, and attempt to distract herself when life isn't panning out the way she wants and not think about the consequences in the moment, so I don't find this scene OOC or intentionally cruel. The revival...I don’t think I can even go there right now because it would just be me screaming incoherently about how much I hate "full circle" and how bizarre the entire thing was. Maybe something of value would eventually come out with a lot of editing. XD

This isn’t to say I’m 100% on Rory’s side all the time. Pretty much every character in this show has at some point made me smile, made me laugh (generally with them, but some characters it’s more like at), made me want to give them a hug, made me roll my eyes, and made me want to throw something at them. That’s why I love it so much! Even if the drama is turned up to 1000, I still get the sense that these characters are human. My favs end up on my “will protect at all costs” and “shit” lists throughout the series, no one is immune. Except Lane. She really is the best person in this entire show. #JusticeForLaneKim

If ASP had written season 7: (Remember there being some sort of theme to this post? Only two episodes in s6, but Jess sure does make an impact.) I bet Jess would show up at some point. MV is loyal to the creators and not the show, if it was important for Jess to be there I’m sure his shooting schedule would have been accounted for. Storyline would have been similar to the revival because AYITL is ASPs season she didn’t get to do without considering how time passing affects the characters (I’M STILL SALTY) except Rory is at Yale and I think the book was a new idea. Shipping as endgame doesn’t change, and I bet there wouldn’t be a nice little Literati ending because we’ve got to end it the same way, right? I don't even need them to be together at the end because Rory has greater plans to focus on, but just a moment! One moment is all I asked for... I don’t know if this makes me mad because I felt like the narrative had been pushing us along this path for so long even if actual "endgame" was going to be offscreen or if I kind of like just having it in my imagination. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. In any case, it could have been cool to see Jess present for the birth of his half-sister and giving Luke some support. 

Like I said, I'm not touching AYITL right now. The whole starting point of this was, "huh, if MV never came back to the show, how would I feel about Jess and Literati?" And he was in it so it doesn't really fit into this even though we've gone on a meandering journey as pieces of discourse that have never sat right with me but didn't quite know how to express that disagreement until now popped in my mind. So there you go. If you’ve made it to end, claps to you, what a champ.

At the end of the day, Literati is the ship that makes me feel the most things, it's kind of just a gut thing. This really isn't any sort of argument just an outpouring of love for the show and these characters. I don't know how well that's communicated, but hey, I try. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for the pairing and I always viewed Jess as being Rory’s, and only Rory’s, choice.

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

I Need You

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: The relationship through the years

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, just a lot of fluff, mentions of anxiety

A/N: This is probably the longest fic I’ve ever written I got a bit carried away so I apologise - sorry if any of the times/ages are wrong! Just go with it! I’m kinda exhausted writing this so I was trying to do the kinda basic maths in my head and it just gave me a headache but please excuse any issues with age that there may be! Also I’m actually really happy with this one and it made me hella soft writing it so I hope you enjoy! Please remember to like, comment, reblog, send asks and just let me know what you thought of it!

~~ 2008, Age 12 ~~

Y/N’s face was scrunched up with nerves as she waited for the bus to arrive. The previous two days her mother had driven her to school, Y/N too nervous to get the bus in. But then the boy who lived down the street had asked her during school why she didn’t get the bus to school like he did.

Y/N had shyly admitted to the boy - Michael, that was his name - that she was nervous about it.

“You came!” Michael’s grin was wide when he arrived at the bus stop. Y/N’s lips up into a nervous smile and she nodded mutely. “Here!” He thrust a bottle at her. “My mum gave me two orange juices and told me to give the other to Cal but you can have it instead,” Michael gave her an innocent smile and Y/N took the bottle.

“Thank you,” she said nervously but she clammed up again the moment the bus pulled into the stop. 

Michael bounded onto the bus before her, leaving Y/N behind.

“You coming, love?” The bus driver asked, a kind smile on her face. Y/N looked around her, noticing that she was the only child who had yet to get on the bus at her stop and gave an embarrassed, awkward nod of her head.

Her steps were shaky when she stepped onto the bus. She flinched as the door shut behind her. 

It was the typical kind of school bus, the exact same formation as it had been like at her old school at her old home town - the youngest pupils at the front and the eldest at the back.

Y/N was just going into year 7, as was Michael, so she knew that she ought to sit at the front but she didn’t know where.

It was the start of spring term, Y/N having moved house late in the year meaning that she didn’t know anyone other than Michael.

There were some empty seats next to other year 7s but Y/N wasn’t sure whether they’d allow her to sit next to them or not.

“Y/N! Come sit here!” She was relieved to hear Michael’s voice calling to her from one of the three seaters, where he was sat in the middle seat with a friend next to him at the window, an empty seat on the aisle. 

Y/N practically fell into the seat next to Michael, giving him a thankful, exhausted smile.

“This is Calum! We’ve known each other since primary school!” Michael introduced.

“Mike said he gave you my orange juice,” Calum said, looking to Y/N with a hurt expression and her eyes widened, her jaw slackening and she was quick to hold out the juice to him, not wanting to make any enemies in her first week. Calum looked at the bottle before his face broke into a wide grin, shaking his head. “I was just joking.”

“Y/N just moved here,” Michael informed Calum who nodded.

“You’re in my History class, right?” He asked and Y/N’s eyes flashed with recognition and she nodded.

“Yeah,” she confirmed timidly.

“You should sit with me!” He told her and Michael frowned.

“Why aren’t you ever that excited to sit next to me?” He accused his best friend and Y/N couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her.

~~ 2009, Age 13 ~~

“Everything sucks and I want to die,” Y/N looked at Michael for a moment in silence before nodding.

“This is why we don’t talk too much,” she informed him and Michael scoffed.

“So not the reason,” he grumbled.

“No the reason is that Y/N has other friends,” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from smiling when she heard Calum’s voice and she turned around, watching him take the final few steps towards them in the lunch hall.

“I still sit with you guys on the bus every day,” she pointed out and Michael pointed at her with his fork

“Good - don’t you fucking dare forget your roots,” he said through a mouthful of food, making Y/N wrinkle her nose in disgust and she looked over at Calum to see a similar expression on his face. “I’m the only reason you have friends here,” he insisted, shovelling more food into his mouth,

“I forget why I sat with you today,” Y/N said to him.

“Because you knew I’d be here?” Calum offered with a cheesy grin.

“Because we were your best choice since Sandy’s being a bitch?” Michael offered instead and Y/N stuck her tongue out at her friend. “How mature.”

“Fuck you, Mikey.”

“You were nicer when you were anxious all the time.”

Y/N was friends with Calum and Michael - for the first half of term that Y/N was at the school the boys essentially took her under their wing, showing her around the school and introducing her to new people. But after that Y/N made her own friends, a group that ran in similar circles to Calum and Michael but they weren’t one group. 

Despite that, though, they still sat together on the bus every morning and evening and her and Michael still walked to and from the bus stop together. Michael’s mum still provided Y/N and Calum with a bottle of something to drink on the bus in the morning and the three of them did still hang out together, just not as often as they had when Y/N was still a new student.

“Heard you’re planning on trying out for the football team?” Y/N mentioned, looking over at Calum, who had just taken a bite from his sandwich and he nodded, his eyes bright.

“Yeah! Next week!” 

“That’s amazing, Cal!” 

The fluttering in their chests was inevitable, really. 

~~ 2010, Age 14 ~~

Calum looked up, surprised when Y/N slid into the seat next to him on the bus. 

“Mike’s ill,” she said awkwardly. “It’s... I’m still okay to sit here, right?” 

“Of course it’s okay,” Calum laughed and Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at how adorable he looked when he smiled. “Has he just never been sick since you started here?” He questioned and Y/N shrugged.

“I guess so.” 

Silence fell between the two friends for a moment and then Y/N nodded towards Calum’s headphones.

“What’re you listening to?”

“All Time Low,” there was a pause before Calum asked: “want to listen?” 

“Is that okay?”

“You’ve not been this nervous around me since we first met,” Calum informed her and Y/N smiled, moving over into Michael’s usual seat, close enough to Calum so that they could listen to the music together.

“I like this album,” she admitted quietly.

“If you didn’t we’d have serious issues.”

Y/N smiled, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

“Thanks for letting me listen,” Y/N said when they pulled into school and Calum shrugged.

“I saw you haven’t have yours for a while.”

“Yeah - the dog chewed them up,” she saw Calum’s eyes light up at the mention of her dog.

“How is Alan?” He asked as the two of them got off the bus.

“Misses you, Cal,” she assured, giggling.

“I miss him,” Calum sighed longingly.

“You can come over any time and see him,” Y/N pointed out. Calum smiled at her and nodded.

“I might take you up on that,” silence fell between them as they walked together towards the school.

Normally by this point in the morning Y/N would have left Calum and Michael to seek out her other friends and the two boys would go to the music room or Calum would have an early morning team meeting for football.

But this morning was different - this morning, neither of them wanted to leave the other.

Without Michael there, it was easier to get wrapped up in one another’s presence.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Calum’s hands were playing nervously with the straps of his bag, refusing to look over at his friend.

“Yeah?”

“Would you maybe wanna see a movie together, or something?” 

“We’re going to see one with Mike this weekend,” Y/N pointed out, laughing a little. “You already asked me, Cal.”

“No! No, i mean... one without him?” Calum offered awkwardly, clearly feeling he had gone too far now to go back on his question. “Like... just the two of us?” Y/N stopped in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at Calum.

“Are you... Cal, are you asking me on a date?” He looked up at last to meet her eyes, anxiety dancing in his. Y/N began to feel her own anxiety building up in her stomach, which was strange, she hadn’t felt nervous around Calum since the day that they first met. “Because... Because if you were,” she spoke again when she realised that Calum wasn’t going to clarify what he meant. “I’d... um I’d like that.”

~~ 2011 Age 15 ~~

“So you’ve found a drummer now?” Y/N asked from her seat in the music room, where she was watching Calum, Michael and their friend Luke tuning their instruments.

“Yeah - Michael found him,” Luke confirmed, giving a shy smile to Calum’s girlfriend.

Luke had been introduced to Y/N a few months ago by Michael and Calum as the guitarist in the band they were forming and yet the two of them were still painfully awkward around one another.

Not for Luke’s lack of trying, he was putting a lot of effort into befriending Y/N but she was constantly nervous when it came to talking to new people, even those who had been so highly talked of by her boyfriend and Michael.

“He’s called Ashton,” Michael supplied before looking to Calum with an unimpressed look on his face. “Don’t you tell your girlfriend anything?”

“No,” Calum shrugged, a smirk growing on his face. “All we talk about is how fucking annoying you are,” Calum looked over at his girlfriend when she snorted with laughter, her hands flying to her mouth in shock from the noise she had just made.

Calum bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and shook his head, affection evident in his actions.

“Well when we hang out we just talk about how much she regrets saying yes to your date,” Michael countered, challenging Calum.

Luke looked over at Y/N.

“Are they...?”

“Yeah,” Y/N filled in nodding with a sigh. “They’re always like this.” 

“Only because Mike’s bitter that I asked out Y/N before he could,” Calum gloated arrogantly and Luke and Y/N burst out into laughter at the look of disgust on Michael’s face.

“Should I be offended that you’re that against dating me, Mike?” The young boy rolled his eyes.

“Whatever - girls have cooties anyway.”

~~ 2012, Age 16 ~~

Y/N was sat on Calum’s bed, watching him pack.

He was chatting away happily to her, eager to tell her all of his plans for exploring London while he was away. Telling her all about the plans that the band had for their debut album that they were planning on recording since their first single and EP had been such a hit.

His eyes were bright and sparkling with excitement as he continued to go on about all of his plans.

Y/N just watched and listened, nodding her head and making noises of agreement whenever it seemed appropriate.

Calum paused for breath, his cheeks flushed with excitement and he turned to face her, his smile so heartbreakingly wide.

“Isn’t it insane?” 

Y/N nodded her head, trying to muster up excitement. Because she was excited. Of course she was excited both for Calum and the rest of the guys.

She had known Calum and Michael since they were all eleven and being in a band, recording albums, touring was all that they had ever dreamed of and now two thirds of that was already coming true and they were only fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.

“I’m really happy for you, Cal,” Y/N confirmed, her voice gentle and a little sad. Calum’s face dropped into a frown and he sat next to her on his bed, his arm resting around her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah I just... I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, resting her own head on his shoulder.

“We’re not going to be gone for long,” he promised her.

“Come on, Cal, you have to realise by now that you guys are gonna be big, right?” Calum snorted a laugh at that.

“Yeah, well, we’re never going to forget our number one fan.”

“You can’t, Liz is going with you,” Y/N deadpanned, pride filling her chest when Calum started to laugh.

“It’s going to be weird not having you there,” Calum mused. “Who’s going to tell Michael that he sucks on the daily?”

“It’s okay, Cal, an ocean isn’t going to stop me from ensuring Mike’s head doesn’t get too big.”

“Well there’s a relief.”

~~ 2013, Age 17 ~~

“That’s amazing!” Y/N congratulated, amazement and pride filling her chest.

The previous two months had been interesting for them to say the least, with Calum in London with the band song writing and collaborating with other, UK-based artists. 

Y/N missed him - of course she missed the band as well, the three boys who she had become close with since the band had formed and she had met Luke and Ashton, and Michael who she had seen every day since she was twelve - but she wasn’t ashamed to admit she had missed Calum the most.

It was strange. They were so young and yet, they had spent nearing three years of their lives calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Too young to know about love and yet... that was what this was. Love in its purest, most innocent form.

“I can’t quite believe it,” Calum admitted and even with an ocean between them on a crappy phone connection Y/N could hear his smile. See his expression.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Want a confession?” Calum asked, just a hint of guilt in his voice but amusement being the overlying tone.

“What?”

“I haven’t told my parents yet,” silence fell over the line for a moment before Y/N burst out laughing.

“Cal!” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t tell them that you told me first or they’ll be so offended!” 

“I promise,” Calum chuckled.

“You’re still coming home next week, right?” Y/N asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between the two teenagers.

“Yeah,” Calum confirmed. “And on the tour we’ll be playing in Sydney and the One Direction guys promised that they could get you a good ticket.”

“Man... I can’t believe you’re touring with One Direction,” Y/N reiterated and she heard her boyfriend release a long breath on the other side of the line.

“Neither can I,” his voice was a whisper.

“Hate to be that bitch but... I told you you were going to be big.”

“Mum did always say that I should listen to you,” Calum teased, causing Y/N to let out a gentle laugh.

“You can repay me by getting Louis’ autograph.”

Y/N had been joking at the time, but she wasn’t particularly surprised when Calum returned a week later and brought out a prototype shirt for the ‘Take Me Home’ tour which had been signed by all five members of One Direction.

~~ 2014, Age 18 ~~

Y/N’s arms were around Calum the moment he stepped out of the airport gate. Her boyfriend laughed, dropping his bags to the ground and wrapping his arms around her waist, nestling his face into her neck.

“Shit, you’re really here,” she mumbled and Calum’s arms tightened a little. If Y/N didn’t know any better she would have thought he was crying.

“I’m really here,” he confirmed. Y/N went to pull away but Calum wouldn’t let her. “Just give me a second,” he pleaded.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want the fans to see I’m crying,” he admitted bashfully and Y/N laughed.

“Calum Hood? Crying?” She teased and Calum laughed, pulling back but only so that he could kiss her for the first time in months.

“Fuck off,” he mumbled, resting their foreheads heavily together.

“I like the hair by the way,” Y/N added. “Very punk rock.”

“You know what I didn’t miss you,” Calum said decisively, pulling away from her, but the smile on his lips contrasted his words entirely.

“I wasn’t joking! I do like it!” She promised, her hands reaching up to gently comb through the curls. Calum’s face softened and he ducked down to kiss her again.

“I’m so glad I’m home,” he confessed and Y/N laughed a little into his mouth.

“I am too - but I’m sure your family is as well,” she pointed out.

When Calum went to go greet his parents, Joy pulling him into a bone crushing hug, Michael’s arms slipped around Y/N’s shoulders, pulling her into his chest.

“Miss me?” He asked and Y/N laughed, turning around to hug her friend. 

“It’s so good to see you all again!”

“Is that us included?” Ashton piped up, looking over to Michael and Y/N with raised eyebrows.

“Not you.” Ashton giggled and walked over, wrapping his arms around Y/N and Michael, who were still hugging. Luke was swift to join in. “You guys stink!” Y/N groaned, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

“Bloody rude,” Ashton commented as the three bandmates released her.

Calum reached over and interlaced their fingers, pulling Y/N back to his side.

“You two ready to go for food?” Joy asked, a knowing look sent to the couple. Calum pressed his lips to Y/N’s forehead and nodded.

~~ 2015, Age 19 ~~

“I’ve missed this,” Calum admitted, the two of them walking down the road, their hands linked together, swinging slightly where they hung between them. Y/N’s dog, Alan, was bounding down the road in front of them, knowing the path to the park well, able to quite contentedly lead the way, the couple following him.

“Yeah? You over your rockstar life already?” Y/N teased, squeezing Calum’s hand and he let out a soft laugh at her question, shaking his head.

“You’re really annoying sometimes, you know? Like, honestly, every time I even try and be cute you have to go and ruin it.”

“You trying to be cheesy and cute makes me uncomfortable because you’ve always been a bit of a shit to me,” Y/N told him, a serious expression on her face, which cracked the moment Calum shot her an offended look.

“It’s one hundred percent the other way around,” Calum grumbled.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Y/N scoffed.

“You and Ash have been taking the piss out of me ever since you first got introduced,” Calum claimed.

“Yeah - thanks for introducing us, by the way. I love Ash,” Calum burst out laughing at her tone, tugging on her hand to bring her closer so that he could kiss her temple.

“I’d say ‘you’re welcome’ but I do think that it’s the dumbest move I’ve ever made.”

Silence fell between them again as they followed Alan into the park. The outing made both Y/N and Calum feel somewhat nostalgic - walking Alan together around the park was something that they had done as dates since they got together and before they were together Michael would also join them after school.

Of course, all the band had tagged along at some point or another when Y/N went to walk her family dog but it was Calum’s favourite thing for them to do as a casual date - Y/N was insistent that it was because he preferred Alan to her, to which Calum never responded to other than to laugh.

“I’ve missed this too,” she finally confirmed, gently squeezing his hand again. “Walking Alan’s just not the same without you.”

~~ 2016, Age 20 ~~

“I’m so in love with you,” Calum’s words were whispered into Y/N’s hair. Calum’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe and secure, as close to him as he could physically manage to keep her.

A secret between the two of them. So much of his life now was public, had been since he was sixteen. Y/N and their relationship was the one thing now that felt private, that made him feel safe.

Even his friendship with Michael, the one he had had for as long as he could remember, was in the public eye, no longer with the privacy of inside jokes to hide behind. 

He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he lost Y/N.

And he almost had.

Or at least, he thought he had.

Y/N had flown out to stay with him and the other guys on tour, having just finished university for the year and having the whole summer to do whatever she wanted, until she had to go back for the start of term in late September.

It was the first time she had been with him for anything other than the Australian leg of the tour and the two of them had been looking forward to it, planning it for months.

But it had all come crashing down so quickly.

Y/N wasn’t used to the same lifestyle as Calum anymore. She was used to the paparazzi following them around home occasionally, fans coming up and asking for pictures when they were together but nothing could have prepared her for tour.

Everything was publicised, all the time. Nothing felt private anymore. Y/N had never felt so exposed in her whole life and she despised it.

Y/N had panicked. They had gotten separated in a crowd of fans and Y/N had had a full blown panic attack, which Calum hadn’t seen happen because he was the other side of the crowd, taking photos. Ashton had found her and brought her safely back to the bus, where she had sat shaking with nervous energy, waiting for the boys to return.

Calum was the first through the door to the tour bus, rushing over to his girlfriend, eyes wide with worry as he tried to get a grasp on her mental state.

Y/N had assured him she was fine and Calum hated himself for dragging her into this kind of life, which she had never asked for.

“I love you too, Cal,” Y/N promised, nuzzling closer to him. They had taken themselves off to their bunk early, wanting to recover from the stress of the day. Normally they would at least pretend for a little while that they would be sleeping in separate bunks to avoid the teasing of their friends but they were both unwilling to leave the others side after the previous events.

“But... are you sure this is what you want?” Y/N rolled over so that she was hovering on top of him and if Calum hadn’t been caught up in his own thoughts and fears about their relationship he would be astounded by how gorgeous he thought she looked.

“Cal, I’ve loved you since we were thirteen... I’m not... of course this is what I want,” she settled on, leaning down to kiss him gently. “You’re what I want.”

“But this... this isn’t what you agreed to when we first started going out,” he pointed out, gesturing with his free hand around them at the tour bus and he watched as Y/N just shrugged.

“No - but it’s what I signed up for now, Cal... you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

~~ 2017, Age 21 ~~

“It’s nice that you’re finally taking a break,” Y/N mentioned, watching Calum bustle around his kitchen from her place sat on top of the breakfast bar.

Y/N normally did most of the cooking when they were together - she would joke about the only reason Calum inviting her down to spend her holidays with him was because she would cook for him.

But this morning, Calum had insisted on cooking her breakfast. Y/N had put up little fight and allowed Calum to do as he pleased, deciding on cooking pancakes for the two of them.

“Yeah - it gives us the time to actually properly think about this album, you know?” Y/N nodded in understanding. She knew how hectic the past few years for Calum and the band had been and she knew that they weren’t necessarily with all the songs they released as they could be had they just had a little more time.

It was also nice for them to be taking some extra time off and to themselves because it meant that she got to see Calum more with him flying himself to her university, her being able to get to LA and it was nice being able to see him so much.

“Okay, so I know it’s early to be asking this,” Calum stated, turning around with two plates of pancakes in hand. He stopped short though when he saw where Y/N was sat. “Can’t you just sit at a chair like a normal person for once in your life?” He sighed and Y/N laughed, moving off of the counter and taking a plate from Calum, pecking his lips.

“Thank you for breakfast,” she responded, sitting at the table. Calum rolled his eyes and sat opposite her.

“As I was saying,” he went back to his previous train of thought, shaking his head a little at his girlfriend’s antics, adoration swimming in his eyes. “I was thinking about us,” Y/N froze. She knew those words were almost never good. Calum picked up on her sudden nerves and reached over the table to grab her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it as he knew always soothed her. “Nothing bad, baby, I promise. Nothing bad,” he prefaced and Y/N nodded, letting out the breath she had been holding.

“If you say it’s nothing bad and now break up with me I’m going to kick your ass, Hood.” She mumbled, listening to Calum start to laugh.

“What I was going to ask is if you want to move in together when you’re done with uni?” Silence fell between them for a moment and Y/N nodded hesitantly.

“I do...”

“Is there a but?” Calum asked, his heart sinking at her expression. Y/N grimaced a little.

“I’m... where would we live? I... I’m not sure I want to live in LA, Cal.” 

Calum moved his hand in hers so that they were holding hands more properly and he squeezed it gently.

“Hey, that’s okay - we’ll figure it out, yeah? Reach a compromise?” Y/N nodded again, a nervous smile forming on her face.

“Then yeah - lets do it.” Calum beamed, leaning right across the table so that he could kiss her.

The couple were broken out of their bubble by the sound of Calum’s apartment door opening and gasps of delight coming from his band members, who just regularly invited themselves around.

“Nice! You made pancakes!”

~~ 2018 Age 22 ~~

Y/N shifted from foot to foot in front of Ashton’s house, waiting for him to answer the door. 

She had gotten a call from Calum about an hour ago during work, imploring her to come over the moment she was finished because he missed her.

Luke had taken the phone from him pretty quickly and insisted she bring alcohol with her as they were running out at Ashton’s house.

As Luke spoke to her, Y/N could hear Calum complaining in the background, which had made her laugh. 

Calum always was a clingy drunk.

“Oh thank fuck you’re here!” Michael exclaimed, reaching out of the door and pulling Y/N inside.

“You good, Mike?”

“Cal’s being complaining about you not being here for hours,” Michael groaned, dragging Y/N behind him into the kitchen.

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the scene in front of her. It had turned into a small party in Ashton’s kitchen. Calum, Luke, Ashton and Michael all had dazed looks in their eyes, their smiles slightly dopy and their laughs just a little too hysterical.

Sierra and Crystal were also in the kitchen, sat at Ashton’s bar with drinks in front of them, watching the band members in amusement.

“It’s literally half past five and they’re hammered,” Y/N stated, joining the two girls, who laughed, nodding their heads in agreement.

“They were smashed after the first video,” Sierra contributed.

“Well... Mike and Luke definitely were,” Crystal mused. “I think Cal and Ash hung on until the second.”

“Y/N!” Calum’s voice broke through the room and Y/N turned around, raising her eyebrows at her boyfriend, who had raised his arms, eyes bright in delight as they fixed on her.

“Cal you’re in the middle of filming!” Y/N pointed out.

“I don’t care! Come here!” He pleaded but Y/N shook her head.

“Not drunk enough for that, babe,” she told her and Calum’s eyes slipped over to Sierra and Crystal, pointing at them seriously.

“Get her drunk so she’ll come on camera - need to show her off,” Calum took another drink and Y/N turned back to the girls.

“Okay at what point do we need to cut them off?”

~~ 2019 Age 23 ~~

“You okay?” Y/N asked when Calum flopped onto the sofa next to her on the tour bus, resting her free hand in his hair as she continued to scroll through her phone.

“Yeah,” Calum sighed, nuzzling closer to her. “Glad you’re here.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Y/N pointed out, gently running her fingers down his cheek. “Couldn’t let you spend our anniversary alone,” she teased.

“I’m sorry we’re stuck on the bus for it,” he sighed but Y/N just shrugged.

“I don’t mind, Cal - plus, lets be honest, even if we weren’t stuck on the tour bus, the guys would find a way to crash our plans. They always do.”

It was true. Calum and Y/N had never managed to have an anniversary where it was just the two of them. Every year at least one of them would crash it and invite themselves along to whatever it was that the couple were doing. When they moved in together they had been hopeful of spending a quiet anniversary together at their home with just Duke for company.

It had been a vain hope and both Luke and Ashton had invited themselves along to their movie night.

By this stage, Y/N and Calum were pretty much certain that they just did it to annoy them.

This year, Y/N had booked off two weeks from work months in advance so that she could join Calum on tour and Calum when he was looking at the dates for the tour had done his best to ensure that they could spend their anniversary in a hotel rather than on the move so that they could go on a real celebration to a fancy restaurant.

Unfortunately, at the last minute there had been a change in the tour and more dates had been added, meaning that they were spending the night of their anniversary on the tour bus, Calum having spent the day doing promo with the band and the Chainsmokers.

“Yeah I know,” Calum sighed. “Guess I just wished this year had been different,” he admitted. Y/N’s smile softened and she put her phone to the side, ducking down to kiss him.

“Nine years, Cal - that’s quite a while,” she mused and Calum nodded in agreement. “Having any doubts?” She teased and Calum reached his hand up to curl around her neck, ensuring that she remained close enough for him to kiss her again.

“With you? Never.”

~~ 2020 Age 24 (almost) ~~

Calum’s arms wrapped around her from behind, his face nestling into the crook of her neck.

“What’re you doing up?” He mumbled.

“Jet lag,” Y/N sighed, relaxing back into his arms a little bit.

They had only recently flown back home to their LA apartment (Y/N had given in to his pleads for them to move to LA, understanding that it was where Calum needed to be) from spending the time with their families in Australia.

“Could’ve woken me,” he told her and Y/N chuckled lightly.

“I know - but you need sleep, Cal,” she turned around in his arms, wrapping her arms back around him. 

“I need good sleep - I only sleep well with you,” he told her, not a hint of untruth in his voice, just telling her what he honestly felt. “Been an issue since we first shared a bed when we were sixteen.” 

“Sorry to ruin your sleep like that,” she giggled when she heard Calum’s breath against her neck, laughing.

“What were you doing anyway?”

“Just on Instagram,” Y/N shrugged. “Looking through my tagged.”

“Anything interesting?” Calum asked, practically dragging Y/N over to the chair situated on their balcony, sitting down first and pulling Y/N on top of him in an attempt to keep himself warm.

“Everyone wishing us happy anniversary,” Y/N told him.

“Our anniversary was months ago,” Calum pointed out, blinking his bleary eyes to focus them on her screen.

“I haven’t been on in a while,” she admitted. “Stalked you for a bit as well.” She mused. “Liked the post you put up for our anniversary,” Y/N added and Calum chuckled.

“You really haven’t been on in a while.”

“It was cute,” she told him, turning around and cuddling closer to his chest.

“Thought you were gonna hate me from putting up photos from when we were fourteen.”

“As Mike would say,” Y/N cleared her throat. “I would never forget my fucking roots,” she said, a poor imitation of Michael’s accent sending Calum into fits of laughter.

“That was awful,” he told her as he tried to catch his breath aain.

“It made you laugh,” Y/N shrugged, looking up at him, a softness in her eyes that was reserved purely for him.

Calum felt privileged in the knowledge that it had been for him and only him to see ever since they were fourteen. To know that no one else had ever seen that look directed towards them.

“That’s all I ever really want to do,” she promised.

“I love you so much,” Calum whispered. He took her hand and placed it over his chest. “This beats for you,” he brought the hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to each finger and went back to kiss her ring finger again. “We’ve been together almost ten years and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Cal...”

“This isn’t an official proposal,” Calum prefaced, shaking his head. “Not yet - the ring isn’t ready yet,” Y/N’s eyes widened and Calum’s lips perked up at the reaction. “Didn’t you think I was going to propose?”

“I mean, I guess,” Y/N shrugged and Calum kissed her, their lips moving together in a way that was so comforting and normal for them.

“So it’s not an official proposal until I get the ring,” their foreheads were pressed heavily together, breathing into one another’s mouths. “But I just needed - need - you to know that I want to marry you. And...” Calum trailed off, seeming to loose some confidence.

“Whenever you’re ready, Cal,” Y/N vowed, kissing him again. “Whenever you’re ready to ask, I’m ready to say yes.”

Before you go: If you enjoyed this fic and want some more of it, check my blurb masterlist under 5sos blurbs and there you can find any spinoff blurbs I have done for this fic :)

[enigma-im]

We Don’t Have to Dance

Rating: Mature Relationship: Demon x F!Human Warning: Fluff, uncomfortable sexual situations, communication, apologizing, broken english

Word Count: 3811

Dinner with friends opens up feelings and ideas for a couple on the slow burn.

--------------------------

“Fuck, it's early,” I groan. I turn over on the couch and nestle in the warmth. I feel arms tighten around me and I recall Luke is here too. I find myself sliding my arms up his chest and around his neck. I cuddle my face into his collar, noticing how nice he smells. I hum in content and fall back asleep.

I wake up when I feel rumbling. I shuffle when I hear another voice. I try to turn and look behind me, but a hand stops me from moving. I tilt my head back and look up at Luke.

“Look who is finally awake, I gotta say I would be concern about her taking so long to wake up,” I hear Paxton joke. I roll my eye and fall back into Luke’s chest.

“Maybe it’s because I feel so comfy and safe that I can sleep through anything,” I counter. Luke seems to like my comment because he starts purring. I can’t help but chuckle and pat his chest. I twist in his hold and face Paxton. “Morning, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Mary wanted to say hello,” he steps aside, and an extremely pregnant woman is standing behind him. she is tall and light-skinned. Also sporting a large belly, did I mention she looks super pregnant.

“Whoa, you are very pregnant,” I exclaim. She chuckles and rubs her stomach.

“Yes, I am 8 months. They are going to make me burst,” she blows out air with an eye roll.

“They?”

“Yes, twins. Bastard over here didn’t mention that it would be a very probable situation. Apparently, it’s a demon thing, don’t ask I have no idea,” she jokes. Paxton can’t help but beam at his wife. I just respond with a disbelieving laugh. She looks ready to explode, bursting at the seams with little ones.

Formalities are exchanged and breakfast is started. Mary helps in the kitchen despite my constant assurances. I rather not be the reason this woman goes into labor on my kitchen floor. The men talk in their guttural language in the living room.

“So, how does one get pregnant from a demon,” I kind of blurt out. The question sat on the edge of my brain since I saw her.

Mary snorts,” Why do you ask? Are you looking for some tips?” I stiffen as I stir the eggs, swallowing hard at the insinuation.

“No, no,” I quickly recover,” Not- I’m too- it’s just- “

“It’s alright, was just a joke,” Mary laughs,” Didn’t mean to put you in an early grave.”

“No, no. it’s fine, I generally can take a joke better than this,” I huff. Out the corner of my eye, Mary watches me with a knowing smile, catching my attention.

“So what do you think of him,” she plates the mounds of sausage and bacon,” Pax told me how you two met was rather…unconventional.”

I scoff,” that’s one way to say it.”

“But you seem to be coming around to him, especially if you get so flustered at the idea of kids with him, “she snickers to herself. I bite back another blush, fighting internally with myself. Which I guess is fair if that is how I react. At this time, I do not want to have kids with him. that is just a whole leap compared to the baby steps we are taking.

“I don’t hate him or anything,” I shrug, shouldering the conversation quickly.

“I didn’t ask that, I asked what you think of him. do you like him? I rather not see my friend get hurt if I can help it,” she clarifies. I finally look towards her, noticing the protectiveness she has for Luke. It's sweet, in a motherly way.

I sigh,” I think I like him, being around him at first was so terrifying. He just came in and slapped a claim over me like it was nothing. I didn’t know what was happening or why it was happening, all I knew was that I was scared. Now, it’s different. He scares me less and less every day and he is just so sweet and gentle with me. I can’t explain it well, but I can see myself perhaps falling for him, the kids thing is still a bit much.” I watch Mary as she ponders on my words. She gives nothing away till she looks back at me with a sweet smile.

“Good,” she nods,” I think he could make you very happy just as I know you already make him very happy.” I fluster once more, distracting myself as I shovel piles of eggs on a plate.

“thank you,” I mumble. Mary nods then turns out of the kitchen with full plates.

We all eat in the living room, sitting around like a bunch of old friends. Paxton and Mary sit on the couch while Luke and I settle on the floor near the coffee table. The conversation is constant though Luke tolerates sitting that one out and mostly listening. I get a short summary on how a courting is supposed to go with demons, to Luke’s embarrassment. Then a round of lighthearted teasing goes about till it’s time for Mary and Pax’s departure.

Once the couple leaves Luke claims his place behind me, arms wrapped around my middle.

“They are lovely, Mary is a sweetheart,” I say. Luke grumbles in agreement, leaning down to rub his cheek against mine.

“Domestic,” he rumbles near my ear. I nod, it was fairly domestic to have breakfast with another couple. It’s still strange to consider Luke and me a couple. How odd that things changed so swiftly.

“well, you going to help me with dishes,” I peck his cheek. He grumbles, squeezing me tighter to him. his nose traces behind my ear as he lazily presses kisses to the back of my neck. I shudder at the feeling, falling completely for the intimate gesture. Quickly, Luke spins me in his hold. he smiles down at me, gentle and filled with admiration.

“kiss,” he asks. I look between his eyes, feeling strange and new. I cup his jaw and bring him down to a lazy kiss. As usual, he is timid to the experience but eager. He follows the lazy pattern well enough, adjusting his hold on me to wrap his arm over my shoulders. He shocks me by introducing his tongue to my mouth, delving between my lips without an inch of rejection.

“Whoa,” I pull away,” Where did you learn that?”

“Pax,” he leans in for another kiss. I press his cheek away to his dismay.

“What were you two talking about while Mary and I were in the kitchen,” I ask. He shrugs, pressing his luck again for another kiss. I let him for the moment, seeing what he does with this new information. His tongue lazily pets at my lips before delving into my mouth once more. He meets mine with a clench of his fingers to my hip. He growls when I show him a thing or two, sucking on his tongue and twirling mine with his.

His fingers claw softly at my back, sending ripples of chills up my spine. Without my notice he manages to unhook my bra, smiling into the kiss when I stiffen. I pull away, quickly placing a hand to my chest to stop the descent of my bra.

“What were you two doing in the living room,” I ask, stepping away. I reach under my shirt and re-hook my bra, to his displeasure.

“Heart,” he answers with a pout. He tries to reach for me, but I step back. I circle him before heading to the kitchen, him in tow.

“Heart,” I ask, he nods,” how to win my heart?”

“Yes,” he bounces,” heart.” I regard him for a moment then start on tidying up the kitchen. Luke gives me a room but still watches me toss dishes into the sink.

“So Pax taught you about French kissing and how to unhook my bra,” I ask over my shoulder.

“More,” he says as he crosses the room,” not yet.” I twist to look at his cocky grin, the look rather new. I’m suspicious of such a look, almost tempted to call Pax to get a rundown on what to expect from his meddling.

“Not yet,” I cock a brow.

“Not yet, win heart first,” he nods.

I squint at him,” what sexual stuff did he tell you?” he doesn’t answer, just shrugging then grinning mischievously to himself. I grumble to myself, washing off the food from the plates. “I swear if I wake up to a sex swing I’m leaving,” I huff.

Luke was a lot more attentive, which is saying something. I sit down on the couch, putting on a movie for us once again. He keeps me on his lap the entire time, petting me everywhere. In the beginning, he just gropes at my thighs, purring against the back of my neck. Then he is licking under my jaw while trying to get his hands under my shirt. it’s when he tries to grab at my chest that I finally wiggle away.

On the other side of the couch, Luke keeps up his attentions, grabbing my feet and trying to pull me towards him. when that fails, he manages to tug me onto my back and crawl over me. the sudden change is startling. I look up at the eager demon, confused about where this is going.

“Luke,” I warn. He just huffs and bends down till our noses touch.

“pretty,” he purrs,” pretty.” I bite back a smile, still skeptical.

“thank you,” I answer,” what do you want?”

“Kiss,” he growls. I relent but with a teasing short kiss, almost pecking him and leaving. He grunts,” no, kiss.”

“But I did kiss you, you spoiled demon,” I tease. He grunts before taking the situation in his own hands, forcefully pressing his lips to mine. I can feel his sharp incisors prick at my skin as his tongue quickly touches mine. He falls onto his elbows, crowding his body as close to mine as he can. I want to push him away, feeling rather overwhelmed this morning but the purr coming from deep in his chest keeps me still.

“taste good,” he mumbles before diving back in. his tongue explores every inch of my mouth, the feel of his thick appendage almost takes away from the minuscule pleasure I sense in my lower stomach. His kiss is wet and needy, claiming me in almost every sense of the word. He runs his tongue over my teeth, then trying to shove it into the back of my throat.

I raise my hands to press against his chest, pushing him off, but once I touch his pec, he gives a sudden buck of his hips. A low fierce growl startles me to my core. I’m stuck between squirming away and returning the grind of his hips with my own. Instead, I sit frozen, as does he.

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he sits back enough to look at me. he seems worried, timid in his actions now. I’m curious as to why, it was just a quick buck, no harm done.

“It’s alright, let’s just finish the movie,” I push at him. he moves just enough for his body to sit a few inches off of me. as he does, I notice a dull red color that sits harshly against his paler skin. I look between us and catch sight of his poking erection.

“oh,” I say louder than intended. Before I can get a better look, he collapses back on me, blocking the view. His cock sits pressed against my crotch, the heat muddling my brain more than expected.

“Sorry,” Luke flusters. Oh, how the tables have turned. I watch him nibble on his cheek, seemingly lost on what to do.

I cup his cheek,” Hey, it’s ok. No need to be so embarrassed.” I try to calm him, but he looks more uncomfortable. “Babe,” I catch his eyes,” what do you need?”

“leave,” he mumbles.

“You want to leave,” I ask. He nods,” Alright, that’s fine. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, that’s normally my job.” I try to joke but he doesn’t even offer a smile for my efforts. He just nods then vanishes. His weight leaves along with the hot feeling of his cock against me. I fall lack into the couch, catching my breath I wasn’t aware I was holding.

There is a small throbbing between my legs that has been insistent ever since I caught sight of him. this thrilling feeling ramps up every time I think of his proudly pointing dick. I want to be a prude about my ideas but it’s hard when I feel so bothered. Instead of trying to rowel myself up, I think on his worried face.

It's strange to see him as the flustered one, having been the one to instigate every encounter. I can’t help but think that his embarrassment was because of me more than him. was he worried he fucked it up by being hard? I won’t lie and say I was completely enraptured by him, because that would be wrong. There was a lingering concern that he would keep going, throwing off my concerns, and mounting me like some animal. Though that thought completely dissipated when he started getting worried.

I sit on the couch for what felt like hours before it got too late in the evening. With a yawn, I roll off the couch. I head upstairs to my room, having not been in there for so long. I flop onto my unmade bed and promptly fall into a restless sleep.

My dreams are plagued with worry and doubt that keeps me tossing and turning through most of the night. It’s fairly early when I wake up, it still being dark out. I roll onto the edge of my bed with a groan. I peel open my eyes to meet Luke’s. he sits on the floor watching me.

“Morning,” I cock a brow. He studies me for an alarming amount of time. I roll onto my back, sitting up against the headboard. “Something wrong,” I ask. He fidgets a bit.

“Sorry,” he drops his head,” didn’t mean to.”

“Mean to what,” I ask. He tilts his head, grimacing to himself. He then points towards his crotch and pouts once more. “Are you apologizing for being hard last night,” I ask.

“Yes,” he shrinks into himself. It's so startling to see him act so small. When we first met, he was so scary and big, now he seems like a shell of that.

I find myself throwing back the covers, patting the space next to me. “come on you big idiot,” I smile. he startles at my reaction, looking from me to my bed then back again. After a moment he slowly crawls from the floor onto my bed. he sits a few inches away, looking more uncomfortable now than ever.

“I’m not going to yell, so stop all that,” I scoff,” I just wanna talk, you open for some conversation?” he nods stiffly. I sigh,” I’m not mad, I wasn’t even mad last night. You did nothing wrong.” He scrunches up his face in confusion, watching me like it was a trap.

“Not mad,” he asks skeptically.

“not mad, I don’t know why you thought I would be,” I toss the blanket over his legs. he grabs at the covers, holding them tight in his grip. He slides down the headboard till his head rests on the pillow. I startle when his fingers touch my waist, curling around till he has a grip on me. quickly, he drags me forward till I’m flush against him.

“pretty,” he kisses the crown of my head,” sorry.”

“it’s ok,” I pat his chest,” why did you think I was mad?”

“Not ready,” he hugs me closer.

“you thought I wasn’t ready,” I ask, he nods,” I’m not going to fault you for having a natural reaction to things, I will fault you for your actions after that point though. That is if you started something I said no to.”

“Never,” his nails prick at my skin.

“I know you would never,” I sigh,” so you should know I wasn’t mad. This past month has been strange and scary for me, but I feel like it’s working out in its own way. we are taking baby steps and I appreciate that, last night was a lot but it’s fine. I’m fine.”

We both sit there quietly, only the sound of our breathing is heard in the early hours. At some point, his hold falls slack and his breathing evens out to barely anything. I look up at his closed eyes and slightly parted lips. I nearly coo at the sight, not being able to turn away. I shimmy up the bed till I’m eye level with him. I slowly reach out a hand until I gently poke at his face. his eyes twitch but he remains blissfully ignorant to my investigation.

His face is fairly angular, having sharp cheekbones and a rather chiseled jaw. Instead of strong its gaunter. I trace my finger over his cheek, feeling the warmth that lies beneath. Next, I feel the curve of his nose, then his eyebrows. I smooth the thin hairs down, smiling to myself. He is rather handsome, especially like this. my fingers dance across his face, each curve and angle stealing my attention.

I look up at his horns, growing curious at the texture of them. I hike my leg over his hip and shimmy up a bit more to reach his hard protrusions. I clasp the base, feeling the rough bumping terrain of them. As I stroke upwards Luke’s fingers curl and his chest rumbles with a purr. I roll back to see if I’ve woken him, his eyes remain closed. I press my luck a bit more. My palm glides up to the points of his horns, pressing lightly on the edge. It’s sharp, sharp enough to cause some damage if necessary.

I choke on a gasp as his head moves, nuzzles closer to my chest. His face snuggles against my bosom, humming as his arms tighten around me.

“continue,” he purrs. I chuckle, patting his head before grabbing at his horn again. His reactions are more now that he is awake. As I grip the base of him again, he trails a hand down to the leg resting over his hip. He pets my thigh, growling against my chest.

“Your horn sensitive, babe,” I chuckle. He nods. I continue my attentions, petting along his mighty horns. A dull throb begins between my legs, urging me to grind against his stomach. I fight back the need, just enjoying his reactions. Luke takes in a deep inhale, growling as he lets it out. His body stiffens slowly till he is clenching my thigh too hard.

“Stop,” he unhooks my leg from around him. Then, pushing me away further across the bed. I follow his command, adjust myself back down under the covers. I reach out and grab his clenched hand, pulling it to rest in the space between us.

“You alright,” I ask. He nods,” Is this too much?”

he shrugs,” excited.”

“excited? Right, sorry,” I turn into the pillow. Luke hums in answer, petting his thumb over mine. we both watch each other, slowly falling back into the comforting bliss that sleep brought. As my eyes begin to sink, he taps my arm.

“Question,” he says.

“you have a question,” I ask, he nods.

“see,” he asks.

“see what,” I ask in return. He looks down quickly then back at me. I look down at the sheet covering him then back up, confused. He repeats and then it clicks. “Oh,” I fluster,” I’m not sure- if you- I don’t know- “Luke stops my rambling, cupping my cheek like I’ve done his a thousand times.

“ok,” he smiles sweetly. With that, he drops the subject. He continues to hold my hand before he shuts his eyes. I watch him again in the tranquil moments of rest. I can’t help my mind from wandering back to his crotch. The temptation is there, stirring my brain till it’s all I can think about.

I nibble on my lip till I gain the courage to jostle him awake. He opens his eyes, meeting mine with confusion.

“I-I’m sorry for waking you,” I start before backing out,” no, never mind, go back to sleep.” I hide my face under the blanket, flustered at the mere thought of suggesting what I was going to. the realization that I could see him with a simple lift of the blanket makes my insides throb. I want to, I find that I really do, but god I’m too timid.

As I wallow in self-pity Luke peals the blanket from over my face. he is closer now, a few inches away. His smile is sweet as he curls his arm over me.

“pretty,” he kisses my head. he then twists onto his back pulling me into his side. With a teasing smile, he looks down his body. I follow his gaze, watching as he lifts the blanket. I can feel the heat curling around my cheeks as I see his erection laying against his stomach. The dull red is loud against the pale skin shadowed by the low light. I get a better look when he tosses the blanket down his legs. the light from the window shines directly onto him, bright like a beacon.

“pretty,” I find myself whispering. I nuzzle into his shoulder, taking a few more moments to admire him. he is thick and long, large by anyone’s standards. It's startling in its own right but it still makes my insides curl.

“like,” Luke traces his nose over my hair. I bite back a smile at his question, pulling the covers up to my cheeks. I look down at his balls, feeling gushier. Having enough of tonight I hide my face against his neck, silently squealing. Luke chuckles, shifting the blanket back over his crotch. I peak out to make double sure then rest my head on his chest. “I liked it,” I mumble.

“Good,” he runs his hand up my back,” all yours.” I feel ready to engulf in flames.

“please stop trying to kill me with affections, please,” I whine. He chuckles, squeezing me further into his side.

“Full heart,” he pecks my head.

“I have full heart,” I ask.

“No, me,” he answers before his breath evens out. I look up at his closed eyes, lost in thought. I hum against him, leaning comfortably to his chest.

“I might too,” I shut my eyes.

-------------

technically a snippet from a story i wrote in high school. so...if it’s cringey, blame 17 year old me.

Check out my Archive | Masterlist | Main Blog

[softlass27]

Flufftober Day 25 – Resilience AU where robert only went to prison for a few months (shh just go with it)

AO3 link here

When Robert walked through the door, barely 20 minutes after he’d left, Aaron looked up in surprise.

“Hey, you’re back early,” he said, smile turning tentative when he saw the dark look on Robert’s face.

“Wendy showed up at Vic’s.”

Oh.

“Right. Guessing she kicked off at you, then?”

Robert sighed and shrugged his coat off before moving to join Aaron on the sofa.

“Yep.” He picked up Aaron’s legs and sat down, placing them on his lap. “So Vic asked me to leave.”

“Seriously?”

“Said my being there was upsetting her.”

“But Vic invited you round for tea. And what, that cow shows up unannounced so you have to be the one to go?”

“Apparently,” Robert shrugged, looking tired and upset. “Y’know, it was bad enough when Vic used to do it with Andy. But at least then, I got why, we were both her brothers. I didn’t blame her for feeling stuck in the middle. But siding with her, with that scumbag’s family? I don’t understand it.”

Aaron dropped his head back in frustration, silently raging on his husband’s behalf.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, stroking his foot against Robert’s thigh.

It was safe to say, things between Robert and Victoria had been increasingly strained for the last year. Ever since the day he’d whacked Lee Posner over the head with a shovel, really.

Then not long after that day, the news came – Lee was dead. And for a few horrible, terrifying hours that Aaron never, ever wanted to experience again, they’d thought Robert would be going down for murder, only for the doctors to reveal that the cause of death had actually been a ruptured aneurysm. It had been lying there in his brain for months already, and would have soon killed him whether Robert had hit him or not.

It had taken a bloody good, bloody expensive lawyer, but they’d managed to whittle the charge down to GBH. Between Robert’s cooperation with the authorities, his squeaky-clean record and his position as an upstanding member of the community (Aaron had to bite down a smirk when he heard that in the gallery), he was sentenced to just one year in prison. And he barely served six months of it.

But six months was all it had taken for Victoria to fully align herself with the Posners. By the time Robert returned to Emmerdale in the spring, Lee’s family had moved into a cottage in the village, and Vic had formed a new relationship with Lee’s brother, Luke, and bonded with Wendy over Harry. After everything Robert had gone through – what they’d all gone through – the way Victoria welcomed them with open arms was painfully difficult to comprehend.

But Robert had gritted his teeth, tried to get on with things, kept his distance and refused to react to Wendy’s furious screeching. It didn’t matter how many doctors told her otherwise; as far as the old bat was concerned, Robert was the one who’d taken her precious rapist son away and deserved nothing less than a life behind bars. She never missed on opportunity to tell Robert so, either.

Victoria usually put up a half-hearted defence on Robert’s behalf, but refused to actually stick her neck out for him and tell Wendy to back off, too reluctant to rock the boat with her newfound… family? Just the thought of it was enough to make Aaron laugh bitterly.

Now, it was another six months down the line and Robert’s resilience was beginning to waver. He tried to hide how much the constant harassment was getting to him, but Aaron wasn’t fooled. He knew the only thing keeping Robert going at this point was having his support and knowing that, for once, the majority of the village was also firmly on his side. The Posners were the most unpopular residents Emmerdale had seen for quite some time, and it was rare for Wendy to get more than 30 seconds into one of her tirades before one of their neighbours appeared and told her to do one.

At the weary look in Robert’s eyes, Aaron sat up and crossed his legs, leaning into him.

“We can’t go on like this,” he said quietly. “It’s making you miserable.”

“Yeah?” Robert sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “What d’you suggest, run her out of the village with pitchforks?”

“Don’t see why not, I can make a few calls. Bet there’d be loads willing to give us a hand, Sam’d definitely lend us the forks if nothing else.”

Robert huffed a small laugh, before sobering quickly and shaking his head. “We can’t start anything with her. I can’t let things escalate like they did with him.”

Him, being Lee. The reason Robert went to prison and the reason why he’d been quiet and cautious ever since, shying away from any confrontation that presented itself to him.

“For Christ’s sake, Rob, we can’t even take Seb out without having to worry about bumping into her.”

“You think I don’t know that? Look, we just have ignore her, she can’t keep it up forever.”

“But Rob – ”

“She’s just waiting for an excuse, Aaron,” Robert snapped, cutting him off. “If I rise to it, if I lose my temper and slip up just once, she’ll be on the phone to the police and trying to get me back inside!”

“That’s not happening, I won’t let it. Six months away from you was more than enough, trust me.” Aaron cupped a hand on Robert’s jaw and tilted his head. “And I was actually thinking of something a little more official.”

He pressed a quick kiss to Robert’s cheek and pushed himself up from the sofa, heading for the kitchen.

“What’re you doing?” Robert frowned at him.

“Hang on a sec.”

Aaron pulled a notebook out of a drawer and returned to sit next to Robert, flipping it open.

“Here.” He pushed it into Robert’s hands.

Robert scanned over Aaron’s handwritten notes, turning the pages slowly.

“What’s… ”

“I started making a note of all the times Wendy’s harassed us. All the times she’s attacked you in the street. Or in the pub, the cafe, wherever. And I’ve put down any witnesses I can remember.” Aaron pointed at some of the names of villagers he’d written down.

“Why?”

“So we can use it as evidence to get a restraining order, make sure she stays away from our family for good.”

Robert’s head shot up to stare at him. “You think that’ll work?”

“I don’t see why not; I’ve looked it up and the shit she’s been pulling definitely fits the criteria. It has to be worth a shot, right?”

Robert paused for a moment, a small smile creeping onto his face. “We live in a tiny village, it’d be nearly impossible for her to keep to it.”

“So if she didn’t want to risk getting arrested, she’d just have to move out of Emmerdale, wouldn’t she?”

Robert’s smile widened into a full-on grin, smug and devious in a way Aaron’s hadn’t seen for a long time.

“That’s brilliant.” His face suddenly fell slightly. “God help us when Vic finds out, she’d be gutted. Not to mention pissed off.”

“I’m gonna say this as nicely as I can.” Aaron hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Vic’s feelings aren’t our problem. Especially considering she hasn’t given a damn about yours these last few months. If she’s angry, then fine, let her be. Then hopefully, in time, she’ll calm down and remember where her loyalties lie.”

Robert sighed, folding the notebook shut. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“So, we’re doing it?”

“We’re doing it,” Robert said, squeezing Aaron’s hand with his own. “You’re a genius.”

“Been tellin’ you that for years, mate,” Aaron huffed, before his smile turned sheepish. “Alright, technically it was Nicola’s idea.”

“Nicola?”

“Yeah, she heard me complaining about Wendy and gave me some advice about it, told me to start keepin' a record of everything. Says she has a lot of experience with restraining orders, so she knows what she’s talking about.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Thought it best not to ask, if I'm honest.”

[thewriterowl]

Liea giving the Shovel Talk to Din/Boba/etc. about Breaking her Brother’s Heart.

Your Thoughts?

Leia hearing that her big "baby" brother is about to get with someone?? Uh...nah, bitch. You don't get Luke without talking to her first.

Yes, Luke is an adult. Yes, he lived 19 years, somehow, without her. Yes, he is his own person.

That doesn't matter.

Leia knows Luke is sweet and naive and easy to take advantage of. She knows that Luke is too much of a giver and will sacrifice anything about himself for others and never ask for anything in return. She also knew that he was very emotional and connected and will put his heart into anything before he really thinks about things.

It is just him opening up for him to get his heart broken.

So, here is 4'9 general, sitting Din/Boba's ass down and just glaring in such a way that made him shudder in fear. Her eyes glowing with a terrifying grin on her face, face shadowed, as she hissed out, "You even think about cheating on him...you think of hurting him in any way...in any way...I'll rip you apart by pulling your innards out from your dick-hole. And I'll make sure you stay awake and feel it all. And then will bury you neck deep on Endor and let the Ewoks, wonderful friends of mine, eat your face off. I'll then use my Force and drag your spirit back into your mutilated body and do it all over again. Mmkay?"

They just squeak out, "Y-Yes ma'am."

(Paz and Han are somewhere in the background, "STEP ON ME, MY QUEEN")

Din/Boba is so happy to have the sweetheart twin as his lover.

[calumcest]

hello i don't have time to answer your messages today bc i have to go watch umbrella academy with my dad now i'm very sorry but i heard soulmate au drabbles & i need them. i miss luke being bitchy so much it's insane (not that i'm not loving all the britpop content but soulmate lashton are my life) okay so i can't decide between 'it's freezing in here' & 'i don't want to talk about it' so please write whatever you want with either of those just please make it soulmate lashton -spoiler twin

omg i hope u enjoyed umbrella academy! also dont worry about it omg no stress get to it when u get to it theres never any pressure from me god knows itd be hypocritical anyway given how terrible i am at responding to messages but i get it no pressure x 

-

Of course, it stands to reason that the first time Clifford goes missing is while Luke’s in London with Ashton. 

He’s not even sure how it happens. One minute Clifford’s in Luke’s line of vision, barking happily as he chases a squirrel and then changes his mind and chases his own tail instead, and then Ashton’s calling Luke, making Luke turn around on instinct, only to see Ashton tapping his watch to indicate they need to get going if they’re going to make it to their next interview with the researchers, and when he turns back, Clifford’s gone. 

It doesn’t immediately register, because Clifford bounds about like a fucking madman anyway, so Luke just searches the area a little lazily, eyes flicking from tree to bush to path to tree, but when he’s covered about three-quarters of the patch of grass in front of them, he’s frowning, stepping forward as he twists left to right, panic rising in his chest as he realises shit, shit, Clifford’s not there. 

“Shit,” he mutters, and looks over to the tree Clifford had been playing near, just in case he’d somehow managed to miss him, but the only dog there is a huge Samoyed ambling lazily around its base. 

“Luke,” Ashton calls again, and Luke feels a sudden stab of anger so strong that it makes his vision blur, mixing with the panic to create a hot mixture of fury that tries to claw its way up his throat and onto his tongue. God, if Ashton hadn’t called his name just to tell him they need to leave, this wouldn’t have happened. He couldn’t’ve just fucking said Luke, we need to go like a normal person, could he? No, the fucking narcissist needed Luke to be looking at him, needed to be the centre of Luke’s attention. Fucking hell. 

Luke grits his teeth as he jogs past the tree the Samoyed’s sniffing around, not even catching its attention as he passes, and looks wildly around the open, empty space on the other side. There’s a couple walking their Labrador to his left, three children playing football on his right, a mother exasperatedly dragging her screaming child away from a puddle he clearly wants to play in, but no tiny, yappy dog bounding around, chasing birds or squirrels or other dogs. 

Shit. 

Shit.

He can’t have lost Clifford. He can’t have. Not in London, especially, thousands and thousands of miles from home and Michael and Calum with only Ashton for company. God, he’d rather be alone, he thinks, as he turns back around and looks back over at the tree a little desperately, like his memory of Clifford trotting around it will make him re-materialise there, somehow. It doesn’t, though, unless Clifford re-materialises as a huge, fluffy white dog, and Luke swears under his breath as his heart hammers in his chest, fists clenching and unclenching at his side as his gaze flits from left to right and back again, hazy around the edges with panic. 

He doesn’t even know how to look for a missing dog. Posters, sure, but where? London’s huge, and Clifford could be fucking anywhere by now, full of endless energy and curiosity and an insatiable desire to explore streets he’s never been down before. He’s far too friendly for his own good, too, always yaps at Ashton’s feet in that way that means I want to be picked up right now and by you specifically, fuck the guy who buys me food and toys and cuddles me at night, and a vision of Clifford sat at someone else’s feet at dinner, blinking up at them beseechingly while they shovel chicken into their mouth hits Luke so hard it almost gives him whiplash, makes him swallow back bile. 

What’s he going to say to Ashton? I lost my dog in the three seconds I looked away from him? Ashton’s had Spot for years, had Ralph and Evie before her, too, and he’s never lost any of his dogs. Luke’s going to look completely incompetent, fucking hell. It doesn’t matter, though, really, he tells himself - at least, not yet, won’t matter until Clifford’s back with him and safe again. 

He takes a deep breath and clenches his fists again, inhales deeply and exhales heavily, trying to let the desire to throttle Ashton leave with the air in his lungs, and then marches stiffly back around the tree, rehearsing what he’s going to say to Ashton. You cunt, Clifford ran away while you were- no, too angry. Clifford’s run awa- no, too matter-of-fact, makes it sound like it’s a common occurrence. I need to find Clifford, maybe? That’s vague enough, isn’t it? Yeah, that’ll do; he can send Ashton off to the interview and let him make their excuses while he combs the park looking for Clifford. After all, it’s Ashton’s fucking fault Clifford’s got lost, isn’t it? The least the fucker can do is come up with an excuse for Luke’s absence.

Luke takes another deep breath, rounds the corner and plays the words over and over again in his head, trying to make sure they’re practiced enough to sound real, eyes searching for Ashton. He spots him waiting by the gate leading out of the park, looking aimlessly around as he stands lazily, shifting from foot to foot, arms at his side, dog between his legs- 

Dog between his legs. 

Clifford’s right there, nestled happily between Ashton’s legs, gazing aimlessly around the park with his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging. He looks serene, that calm happiness that he usually only gets with Luke, and it makes Luke furious for some reason, makes him jog over to Ashton with an expression that makes Ashton frown at him as soon as he sees him coming. 

“What?” Ashton asks, puzzled, brows drawn over hazel eyes. Luke swallows, trying not to think about the way Ashton’s lashes are casting tiny shadows on the smooth skin of his cheekbones. He still wants to throttle him. 

“Nothing,” he says tightly, and yanks Clifford’s lead out of Ashton’s hand without so much as a thank you, relief flooding his veins so fast and hard that he barely even notices the way his fingers tingle as they make contact with Ashton’s skin. 

“What happened?” Ashton sounds genuinely concerned, like maybe Luke had been mugged while he’d been running wildly around the field - Jesus, Luke thinks, with a tiny grimace; he must have looked fucking insane to Ashton. 

“Nothing,” Luke snaps, and winds Clifford’s lead around his hand a few times, making sure he can’t stray further than a foot from Luke’s heels. Clifford glares up at him, like he knows what Luke’s doing and resents him for restricting his freedom, but doesn’t bark about it, which is something. 

“Are you okay?” Ashton asks, and his voice is a little softer now, tinged with the sort of gentle concern that Luke only ever hears from Calum to Michael. It makes Luke’s stomach lurch, somehow, the way he associates that tone with Calum and Michael, and he nods curtly, and looks away from Ashton.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Luke says, letting all the anger and frustration leak into his voice to hide the slight edge of fear, and Ashton bites his lip but nods, and steps away. 

“Alright,” he says, and that’s it. He doesn’t push, he doesn’t nudge, he doesn’t wheedle, he doesn’t force it out of Luke, he just steps back, steps away, and respects Luke’s space. A wave of guilt washes over Luke at that - it hadn’t really been Ashton’s fault, had it? - but he stares steadfastly ahead of him as he reaches for the gate and pulls it open with a little more force than strictly necessary. Ashton lets him go through first, lets him tug on Clifford’s lead and pull him through too, before walking behind him, closing the gate and falling into step a metre or two away from Luke, giving him the space he needs. 

They walk in silence for a while, Ashton ambling alongside Luke as he tries to focus on his ebbing anger, trying to dredge it back to the forefront of his heart so he won’t have to think about the guilt that’s quietly but insistently making a home in it. Loath though he is to admit it to himself, Luke has to concede that it wouldn’t have been Ashton’s fault if Clifford had run away. And it’s not Ashton’s fault that Clifford had run to him instead of Luke, that he’s happy and calm with him in the same way he is with Luke, but it doesn’t stop the tired anger spiking in Luke’s veins a little when he thinks about it, furious at the idea that Clifford could possibly like Ashton. But it’s not Ashton’s fault. 

Luke doesn’t say anything, can’t bring himself to apologise for his bad mood and his unwarranted snappiness, but by the time they arrive at the interview, still not having spoken a word, he realises that the gap between himself and Ashton has narrowed to all of a few centimetres, his hand brushing against Ashton’s every so often as they walk, and he can’t remember whether it had been him or Ashton who had closed the gap.

(It doesn’t really matter, though, he realises with a jolt, because either way, he’d allowed it to happen.)

[welcometotheocverse]

What do your Gilmore Girls oc’s think of Christopher/what is their relationships with him like?

Okay so I had like over four paragraphs typed up for this and then my computer misclicked and I lost it all lmao.

But in a word: Bad. In multiple: Really Freaking Bad.

Noah ( Doose), Tino ( La Costa) and Lily ( St. James) all love Rory so so much. So even though their interactions with Christopher are limited compared to some of my other ocs they still hate him. They know better than others how much it hurts Rory when he isn’t there for her since two of them ( Tino and Lily) have known her since childhood. Lily and Tino see themselves as Rory’s honorary siblings ( Tino goes on record calling himself Rory’s unofficial twin) so the whole “He actually came to Stars Hollow this time!” and all the times he does things that hurt her have them more or less feral.

For Noah he’s dating Rory from s2 or s3 I haven’t decided  yet so he gets a bigger picture of Christipher and is unimpressed because as far as he’s concerned, Rory is the best girl and deserves a lot better. Also Christopher might or might not be a POS when he finds out about Logan, Noah, and Rory.

Tbh Noah at some point might go “I have crippling anxiety and depression but I also have a hockey stick and knife shoes ( skates ) and I’m willing to fight both your dads because holy shit” to both Logan and Rory.

Hope is both more civil and more openly disliking of Christopher. She knows full well what a number  their parent’s controlling and critiquing everything they do does a number on Lorelai. So she tends to be very “You call all the shots in your life. I support you as long as you’re happy.” to be the opposite of Emily and Richard and at one point, when Lorelai is nervous about telling her something says “I’m not mom and dad Lore. I won’t belittle your choices. I’m always on your corner” ( which ;A;)

So Hope bites her tongue a bit and utilizes the skills she learned in therapy to manage her own emotional responses when it comes to The Whole Christopher Deal

This does not mean Hope does not have opinions about The Whole Christopher Deal. 

Like basically she thinks he’s a weak man who can’t even speak up when Lorelai is being belittled by her own parents while singing him praises. She is very unimpressed by how little part Christopher has taken in Rory’s life when Lorelai has always had the door open. ( though  she also feels like since she ended up losing touch with them as well she’s no better even tho Hope bby nooo you were protecting yourself from abuse its so not the same) 

That’s not even the worse of it tho since, due to being Lorelai’s older sibling Hope is more aware than my other ocs of how much hurt Lorelai deals with from her relationship with her parents and what the abuse/ neglect does to her ( having suffered it herself as well) and how exactly that plays  with her and her relationship with Christopher. 

She hates HATES that he messes with her head. She hates that Lorelai seeks out affection in men like him and that they hurt her, that he hurts her. She understand them in a very Big Picture way and hates Christopher all the more for it. Like it starts off at Unimpressed in s1 and only gets worse the more pieces she understands.  After the wedding vow fiasco she loses whatever scraps of respect she had for him and thinks that the fact that he was willing to break up a relationship Lorelai was happy in is a huge ass red flag about him and openly dislikes him and hates him. She keeps it civil when Lore gets back with him for Rory and Lorelai’s and Gigi’s sake but there’s a pretty open dislike between the two that has been there from the start ( because you can only imagine how Christopher reacted to Hope being unimpressed with him and with her telling Lorelai she deserves better he p much hates her too)

Amelia Hates him with a seething unbridled fury that has less to do with Christopher being sorta passive aggressive  and shitty around her ( he wouldn’t Dare do it in front of Lorelai and Rory bc he knows they’d kick him to the curve and Luke would End him and Amelia doesn’t spend any time around him without them so it's  vague/passive sorta shittiness.)  and so much more to do with the fact that this girl is fiercely  Fiercely protective  of her family and loved ones ( see for example her willing to fight the entire town meeting for Jess and ranting for an hour and then some afterwards) and Rory is her Big Sister and Lorelai is Her Mother and she has seen them be hurt by him so much already. ( think of that speech Lorelai gives Jess of “Rory is one of the best girls and she  deserves to be treated well” but instead it’s “My mother and sister are two of the best people I know and they deserve the world as far as I’m concerned. Not some asshole who leaves them hurt and sad” like she thinks the fact that he doesn’t think they’re worth his  time and hurts them is unforgivable and so is how sad he makes them and she’d gladly punch him in the face if she had the chance. And that’s before the vow renewal fiasco where she actually punches him in the face. 

Sophia mistrusts him just on account that her parents like him. Lorelai hides from her how much Christopher has hurt her ( she canonically goes out of her way to make sure Rory doesn’t feel like she has to take care of her and has a good relationship with her dad no matter what and she sees Sophia as a kid as well specially as she realizes how badly living with her parents has affected her.) and Rory canonically not only does not talk about her dad to many people but describes herself as “A great compartmentalize.” so it takes a while before she gets the full picture  but she’s thoroughly unimpressed even before she does. Also she picks up on the frail hope on Rory’s “He’s never come to town before maybe he’ll stick around.” and it...hits a bit personal for her. 

She also would kill for Lorelai and has absolutely given Christopher a shovel talk  ( Lore: you’re my baby sister hon, not my babysitter) when he tries to come back into the Gilmore Girl’s lives and as the seasons go she only dislikes him more.

Kit and El are of course Christopher’s sons and boy oh boy there’s just so much resentment there. Like both of them are also “my sister and mom are the best and your hurting them makes me feral.” but on top of that they  have their own resentment for him. 

With El, Christopher always lumps him with Rory as “the smart kid who reads a lot.” when in truth the twins are their own people and their interests, diverge widely. He gets them the same book whenever he sends anything  and it hurts El so much like it makes him feel like he’s some after thought, someone not even worth learning the interests of and he carries that for a long time. It hurts him deeply for a long time.

He absolutely loses it when he finds out that he and Lore got married without any thought not even about him and Rory but about Gigi  (“so what you’re gonna have  her get used to having a family and then mess her up when you fall short because what? Me and Rory’? We weren’t enough kids to disappoint for you? ) Gigi’s pretty much the only reason he keeps things civil with Christopher bc El’s pretty sure that between Sherry and Christopher she needs someone looking out for her, or the poor kid won’t have a chance and also he loves her so so much. It only makes it  worse that Christopher is not above using that to make him be civil.

Kit while a lot less developed so I have less for him is also on the same beats. He’s a smack happy idiot  who doesn’t spend time on bad emotions and lets things roll off his back ( and a very big foil to Rory’s catastrophizing and spiraling into anxiety when things go awry) but Christopher may  be one of his only sore spots. He struggles a lot with sharing a name with the guy and also with not having a set path career wise or being academically inclined like Rory ( more because it would make him Different than Christopher if it did) one of his biggest fears is that he’s more like his dad than his mom, or that he has too many things in common with his dad.  He’s also of course very  hurt by how little Christopher drops by in his life and was very aware growing up that other kids’ dads were a lot more present. He skips school on father’s day  as sort of his own dark day and usually hangs with Zack and Brian ( who he met before Hep Alien formed) or with Lindsay Lister ( who is actually one of her  best friends.) though he does check in on Rory and tries to be there for her because she may be a good compartmentalizer but he’s her twin; he knows when she needs hugs. 

I have an idea for a Danes sister and while I know nothing of her I know she’d hate Christopher too. So does the Hayden sister plot bunny who’s nothing more than a concept

Basically fuck Christopher all my OCs hate Christopher lol

[asterythm]

A is for Amour || As We Find The Pieces (10)

Pairings: Slow burn Logicality, eventual Prinxiety (also bonus Cartoon Therapy Corne for this chapter!!) Word Count: 4.9k Chapter Summary: Chapter ten seems like the perfect time to set some friendly matchmaking into motion, wouldn't you agree? (Patton certainly might, if he didn't have so much respect for the fourth wall.) Chapter Warnings: food, caps lock, alcoholism mention, neglectful parenting mention

<< First Chapter || < Previous Chapter || Read this chapter on AO3

***

"Patton. Patton. Paaaaaattonnnnn...”

The owner of the name in question barely blinked in acknowledgement of the beckoning voice; eyes seemingly fixated on an invisible point on the air, the only indication that he was alive at all was the movement of his jaw as he chewed thoughtfully on a handful of pretzel sticks. 

“Patton? Hello? Foley!” 

Moments after the last word, a tiny, greasy object launched across the table to smear against the lens of Patton’s glasses, jolting the boy back to reality at long last. “Huh? What?” Patton looked around in confusion, first at the french fry in his lap, then across the table at Sloane, whose arm was already rearing back to throw another. “Hey!”

Sloane grinned, triumphant. “There he is. Welcome back to the land of the living, ya goof.” The second fry bounced uselessly off the side of Patton’s head.

“What was that for? I’m already listening!”

“Just making sure.”

Next to Patton, Valerie shovelled a spoonful of chocolate pudding into her mouth before giving Patton a big grin. “So what had you so distracted there, Mister Plato?” she teased, poking the plastic spoon in Patton’s direction.

“Oh, you know… just thinking,” was the vague reply, delivered offhandedly as he glanced at the empty spot beside Sloane. Contrary to his previous protest, he still seemed distracted. “Where did Corbin go?”

“Bathroom, I think. Or maybe he just got tired of waiting for you to tell us what you were thinking about,” said Valerie, tossing any semblance of subtlety out the window with a raise of her brows. There was an expectant lull in the conversation as the two friends waited for Patton to fill them in. When it became clear that he wasn’t about to, she turned to Sloane with a roll of her eyes. “Guess we have to figure this out on our own. Hmm, let’s see. What new factors have entered Patton’s life recently that could be distracting him this much?”

Sloane caught the meaningful lilt in his feisty friend’s voice without missing a beat. “Well, I can think of at least one thing. One person, to be precise.” He tapped his chin with another fry, pretending to think hard. “What was his name again?”

“Leonard? Liam? Maybe Luke? Something with an L. Cute tutor guy, right? The one with the swoopy hair and —”

“And dreamy eyes —”

“Okay, alright, fine! Enough!” broke in Patton, red as a tomato. “First of all, his name is Logan, okay? Which I know you know — Sloane, he’s in the same grade as you, for crying out loud!” 

Sloane, to his credit, at least had the decency to pretend to be sheepish, even if his best efforts couldn’t mask the impish gleam in his eye. The same could not be said of Valerie. “So you were thinking about him!” she said, triumphant. “Damn, I’m good.”

“Um, actually, no. For once.” The tips of his ears had begun reverting to their regular shade for a moment, but now the bright red glow returned, twice as strong as before. The words hanging on Patton’s lips couldn’t get out fast enough. “I mean, don’t get me wrong — I’ll be the first to admit that he does have just the cutest hair and eyes, and he’s super smart, which is obviously a plus, and it’s so adorable the way that he’s always adjusting his glasses and necktie as if they’re not already perfectly in line with the rest of his outfit — hey, speaking of, have you noticed how you never see him wear the same necktie twice? Where is he even getting those things from? D’you think he might have some kind of secret necktie stash or—?”

“Patton. Breathe.”

“Right, okay, sorry, I... yeah." Patton clamped his lips together as he sucked in a huge breath through his nose, grateful for the timely reminder. What were we talking about again?

“You’re still avoiding the question,” supplied Valerie. “Don��t think I didn’t notice. If it’s not thoughts of cute necktie tutor guy distracting you, then...?” 

“Oh! Well, I don’t think I’ve mentioned this to you guys yet, but there’s this one really nice guy who works at the library where Logan and I meet up for our sessions. His name is Virgil. Super sweet guy, really cool nails.”

“Aha!” Valerie leaned forward. “So Logan’s getting some competition now, is that it?”

Patton laughed freely at that. “Oh, no — ha! — no way. He’s, like, twenty years old; pretty much the same as Roman, probably. No, we’re just friends. At least,” he added, furrowing his brow, “I think we’re friends. He seems pretty shy, though, and we’ve only really talked twice, so maybe he doesn’t actually consider me a friend yet?”

“Acquaintances, then.”

“Sure. Close acquaintances. Anyway, we were having a pretty nice chat while I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up from my session yesterday. He kind of fell asleep halfway through, but —”

“Back up,” Sloane interrupted, “fell asleep?” At Patton’s nod: “Sheesh, man. I thought you said he was this ‘super sweet person’.” He made little air quotes with his fingers as he spoke. “Checking out mid-chat doesn’t exactly scream sweetness. You’re sure you’re not just too nice to realize his true colours or whatever?”

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t jump to conclusions yet. I was just about to get to that. See, the poor guy had an absolutely exhausting day yesterday. He told me all about it after his, uh, energy crash. Because I invited him to, not because he just decided on his own to go ahead and dump his worries on me,” Patton added as he saw Sloane readying another protest. “But, see, here’s the thing: I don’t think that the whole streak of bad luck was the only reason for Virgil’s stormy mood yesterday. I mean, maybe I’m just overthinking, but both times I’ve talked to him so far, he’s just had this kind of… permanent tiredness. Not as in I-want-to-take-a-nap tired. This feels way deeper than that. Almost hollow.

“You should see the way Virgil carries himself. His shoulders are always curled in, for one, like if he makes himself smaller, the empty whateverness inside of him will get smaller too. And he keeps his hands really close to his chest when he’s not typing or knitting or something, like he always needs to be ready to shield himself from someone trying to reach in and tear that hole any larger. And he never smiles without ducking his head a little, as if...”

Noticing for the first time since he’d begun his strange monologue how blank his friends’ faces had grown, Patton trailed off sheepishly. 

“You know what? Never mind,” he dismissed. “I didn’t mean for that to get so heavy. Sorry. Um, so yeah.” Patton shifted in his seat uncomfortably he continued while he turned to address Valerie, who was so lost that her eyes were fixed on a point above Patton’s head as she tried to understand.

“Patton, if I may…”

Oh, wait. So that’s what Valerie was staring at! Hearing the new voice join their conversation, Patton turned around with a delighted smile. “Corbin, you’re back!” he cheered, all thoughts of holes in chests disappearing to the back of his mind as he leapt to his feet to greet the new arrival.

“Oh my g— you’re just as bad as Sloane,” grumbled Corbin in response before sliding back into his spot next to his boyfriend. Contrary to the studious disinterest he’d been feigning at first, Corbin couldn’t resist giving Sloane a quick but affectionate smooch on the cheek. He waited until his arm was wrapped securely around his boyfriend’s shoulder before continuing, the sting of his words somewhat dampened by the way Sloane was already nestling into the crook of his arm, almost purring in contentment. “Seriously, do none of you have any chill? At all? I was gone for less than five minutes.” 

“Sure, but I missed you!” Patton said with a pout.

“Looks like you didn’t miss my pretzel sticks,” shot back Corbin, gesturing to the now-empty container in the middle of the table. “That was basically full when I left!”

“Sorry, Corbin,” chorused the three friends, not sounding sorry in the slightest. 

“Yeah, yeah, save it. Anyway,” continued Corbin, turning to Patton, “I couldn’t help but overhear your desperate plight.”

“He means he was eavesdropping.”

Corbin lifted an eyebrow at his boyfriend’s interruption. “It’s not eavesdropping if I would have been a part of the conversation in the first place anyway!”

“Mm, not how it works.”

“You shush or I’m taking this arm away.” Taking Sloane’s protesting whine as a sign of surrender, Corbin returned his attention to his cousin. “Patton, I totally get where you’re coming from. I think that this library guy just needs a friend.”

Patton’s forehead creased. “A friend? But I’ve already been trying to be his friend!”

“Yeah, but… look, obviously, it’s great that you’re already spending time with this guy —”

“Virgil.”

“— sure — spending time with Virgil after your sessions. Super thoughtful of you. But honestly, you know as well as I do that half an hour of small talk twice a week is hardly enough time to really get to know someone.” Corbin idly messed with Sloane’s hair as he spoke. “Not that I don’t think those half-hours are helping — I’m sure they are! I just… you said that he’s older than us, right?”

Still listening attentively, Patton nodded. “A few years.”

“Well, then, maybe you could try introducing him to someone else around the same age. Someone with a little more control over their own schedule than a high school student would have. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Uh… sure do.” Patton did not.

A fact which did not escape his cousin’s notice. Corbin exhaled. “Alright, here’s the thing. It’s not that I doubt your ability to befriend someone older than you. I know you, Patton, you could probably make friends with a rock if you put your mind to it. Actually, scratch that — you have made friends with a rock, haven’t you? Remember Percy and Pierre, your ‘twin’ pebbles from when you were in, what, grade two?”

In spite of himself, Patton laughed. He remembered, all right. “Pretty sure I might have paid more attention to the well-being of those rocks than I did to myself.”

“Okay, yeah, see? That’s my point exactly. You’re a really friendly, caring, all-around great guy — impossible not to like. But if I’ve learned anything from all those post-secondary preparation lectures they make you attend in twelfth grade, it’s that uni students’ schedules and high school ones don’t always mix; they might be busy in the mornings and evenings with classes and work, but have most of their afternoon open, or vice versa. It’s a mess.” Corbin shrugged. “Hey, if anyone could make a friendship thrive under those weird hours, it’s you. But I still think it might be a better idea to find someone who’s around the same age as this Virgil guy.”

While Patton thoughtfully processed his cousin’s suggestion, the table lapsed into comfortable silence for a spell. Across the table, Valerie finished the last of her chicken and rice. It was as she was screwing the lid back onto her thermos that a question appeared to hit her. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Valerie had to give voice to her curiosity: “Hey, Corbin, it seems like you really know what you’re talking about. If it’s alright to ask, why is that? Are you speaking from experience, or...?”

She trailed off as both she and Patton noticed the worried expression Sloane now wore. He shifted on the cafeteria bench to glance up at Corbin. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to,” he murmured.

“No, it’s fine.” Corbin punctuated his words with another bite of his apple, which he took his time chewing, carefully formulating his answer before swallowing to speak again: “When I first entered ninth grade — so, two years ago, you and Pat would’ve still been in seventh — I was... going through a bit of a rough patch. That was around the time my dad packed his stuff, and a few weeks later, my mother started to drink. A lot more than she should have, probably. 

“Patton, you might remember that we weren’t at the family reunion that Christmas. That’s because neither of us were in any shape to go to a party; things had gotten really messy at home, to the point where I was skipping school almost every day to make sure she didn’t — uh, to take care of her.” Corbin rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Long, long, long story short? First semester of high school was not a great time.”

Valerie blew out her cheeks. “That... sucks, Corbin. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well. Things got better.” Down came Corbin’s hand as he glanced at Sloane, whose head hadn’t moved from Corbin’s shoulder since he sat down. The moment his eyes fell on his boyfriend’s face, it was almost as if Patton could see his walls coming down, too. “And believe it or not, the improvement began in History class, of all possible places.”

“Our teacher’s seating plan put us next to each other.”

“I was trying to get some dramatic buildup going there, but… yeah, basically. My home situation was a little better by second semester, so I started coming to class more often. Sloane moved from Clivesdale right around the same time. As luck would have it, he wound up next to me for homeroom. The fresh transfer and the kid who never came to school. Probably the only thing we had in common besides a similar desk arrangement was the fact that neither of us had any friends, though not for lack of trying on Sloane’s part.”

“I baked cookies for everyone my second week there! Cookies, and no one besides Corbin even tried one!”

“Dang, so that’s how your whole love story began? Cookies?” quipped Valerie. “Those must’ve been some good baked goods.”

Corbin snorted. “No. I mean, yeah, they were good cookies, but it would have taken a tray a day to break through the angst-barriers shielding me from the rest of the world back then. No, it was that dumb A Moment in Time project. You know, the one where you and a partner have to prepare a full-length presentation to ‘transform the classroom’ and ‘take your peers back’ to a decade they assign you?”

Patton nodded. He remembered it well. 

“Man, I have no idea where they come up with this stuff. Anyway, the point is, being the only ones in the class who had no pre-established connections with any other classmates, the two of us were kind of forced to partner up through process of elimination.” The last of Corbin’s apple slices gone, he paused to slide the container back into his lunchbox. 

Sloane picked up the narrative where he’d left off: “I ended up inviting Corbin over to my house, I think about two days before the deadline? I told him it was to put some finishing touches on our Swing in the Roaring Twenties poster, but honestly, I just wanted to get to know him a little better.”

“We both knew it was an excuse—”

“He never suspected a thing.”

“I absolutely did.”

“Not a clue. Nada. There’s a reason they call me Sloane the slick.”

“No one calls you that,” insisted Corbin. “Besides, I knew all along. Our posters had been done for a week.”

Sloane gave Corbin a playful nudge. “Then why’d you agree to come, hmm?”

“I guess... because a part of me didn’t hate the idea of having a friend,” Corbin had to concede. “Actually, I’m not sure what I was expecting to get out of our little meeting, but a total mental breakdown at a near-stranger’s house definitely wasn’t it. Took both of us by surprise. I’m… still not entirely sure why it happened.” 

Patton had his suspicions; he’d met Sloane’s mother before, and she was the epitome of sweet and affectionate. His voice softened. “Aw, Corbs.” 

To his surprise, though, Corbin smiled. “There I was, a snivelling mess on the carpet of a guy who until then had been a friendly acquaintance at best, but instead of judging me or getting uncomfortable, Sloane just… sat with me. Listened. And eventually, gave me comfort when I was ready for it. That’s where this quote-’love story’ began, Valerie — having someone to lean on was so helpful in getting me through the rest of the year, and by the time my mom finally cleaned up her act, our relationship had long since moved from partners in History class to, well, partners in just about every other sense.” 

“Corbin’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Sloane added. “Man’s witty, sweet, and so easy to talk to it’s stupid. All I really wanted after transferring here was a casual friend or two. Corbin turned out to be way more than that; he’s been my rock. My loneliness-b-gone, know what I’m sayin’? Nothing can mess with my funky flow when he’s around.”

“Hey, Sloane?” 

“Yeah?”

The corners of Corbin’s eyes crinkled affectionately. “That didn’t make any sense.”

***

By the third time the lead on the tip of his pencil snapped off, Patton could no longer ignore the voice in his head telling him to just give up for the night. He pushed his homework to the side and closed his eyes in a lazy attempt to calm the headache that had been steadily growing over the past half hour. This effort — if you could even call it that — proved futile; the image of the trigo-whatsit cosine graph he’d been staring at moments before was burned firmly in his mind’s eye. If he focused hard enough, he could even make out a colourful impression of the curvy lines faintly floating against the dark backdrop his eyelids provided. 

Patton yawned, wishing he hadn’t left his math homework for last. Talk about not making sense.

The bizarre pseudo-graph starting to psych him out, Patton opened his eyes back up with a yawn. His gaze landed on something bright blue: the cat-eared case of his phone, lying face down on the other side of his little desk so as not to distract him from the homework he was supposed to be doing. 

Fat lot of good that had done him. He’d been eyeing the thing all evening. 

Try as he might, Patton couldn’t get his lunchtime conversation with his friends out of his mind. Corbin’s story in particular had given him a lot to think about regarding Virgil’s predicament, and it hadn’t been very long after when Patton realized he knew exactly what to do. The answer was blindingly obvious in hindsight, really. 

Admittedly, he had yet to actually act upon his “master plan” — he’d been pushing the thing aside in favor of trying to make sense of his math work for most of the day. But now that Patton had, er, selflessly decided to sacrifice the completion of said work for the greater good, nothing was left to stand in his way.

Except possibly a lack of cooperation, but he could cross that bridge when he came to it.

After the briefest of internal debates, Patton’s hand reached out to make contact with something bright blue. Moments later, the brightness of a phone screen lit his features from below:

TheJollyJollyFoley (7:59pm): rooo

TheJollyJollyFoley (7:59pm): romannnn

TheJollyJollyFoley (7:59pm): roman my mannnnnnn

TheJollyJollyFoley (7:59pm): heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

le-petty-prince (8:00pm): Sorry I was just watching the clock change from 7:59 to 8

le-petty-prince (8:00pm): What can I do for you pattington bear?

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:00pm): ooh new nickname :DDD

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:01pm): anyways i just wanted to ask a question for science reasons

le-petty-prince (8:01pm): Well that sounds completely normal and not at all suspicious even the slightest amount! Ask away, O Vaguely Cryptic One

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:02pm): you ever wish you had friends

le-petty-prince (8:02pm): ???

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:02pm): wait no that came out weird let me try again

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:03pm): “how would you like to add a new friend to to your already existing large roster of many cool and awesome friends” <<< pretend thats what i said the first time pls

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:07pm): u still there?

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:12pm): hello?

When a few more minutes of waiting yielded no response, Patton’s brow furrowed. What if he had accidentally offended his older brother? 

Just as he was seriously starting to worry he’d blown it, though, his phone vibrated in his hands:

le-petty-prince (8:21pm): Sorry. Back. Monet says hi

le-petty-prince (8:21pm): Anyway!! Im intrigued!

With a sigh of relief, Patton tapped out his instinctive response:

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:21pm): hi intrigued im pat ;))

le-petty-prince (8:22pm): Funny

le-petty-prince (8:22pm): Now call me crazy but something tells me there was a little more than ordinary curiosity motivating this Friend Roster Expansion hypothetical

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:23pm): science reasons, roman, i told you

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:23pm): ..but yeah also another less sciencey thing

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:23pm): well i guess he could be sciencey? V was playing minesweeper last time we talked which seems like a smart-people kind of game but idk where exactly it would fall on the spectrum of scienciness

le-petty-prince (8:24pm): To be fair, its gotta take great courage to play minesweeper in public. Whoever this V person is, I deem them worthy of my respect

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:24pm): i assure you it was a very cool and respectable thing

le-petty-prince (8:24pm): In that case, I would be honoured to meet such an indisputably Cool Guy

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:25pm): !!! YESS

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:25pm): ok so i was thinking you and V could maybe meet up over coffee or something? theres this one really cute place that opened up recently, best cronuts youll ever taste <33

le-petty-prince (8:26pm): Ngl cronuts sound EXQUISITE right now

le-petty-prince (8:26pm): Why dont you send me their contact and I can try to schedule something, say next week?

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:26pm): ooh uh

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:27pm): thats the thing

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:27pm): i kind of dont really have any of V’s contact info BUT!! he works at the library so i’ll see him on friday and i can set up a time and place for you two then!!

le-petty-prince (8:28pm): Hmmhm

le-petty-prince (8:28pm): Funky circumstances but I trust your judgement! If you like V this much then Im sure he must be a real grand guy, I cannot wait to meet him!!!

le-petty-prince (8:29pm): Oh shoot sorry I need to go, Ive got a date to get ready for. Im super into this though so we can work out the details tomorrow, capiche?

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:29pm): caposh~

TheJollyJollyFoley (8:30pm): be safe!! dont have TOOOO much fun ;)))

le-petty-prince (8:33pm): Pfft. Bye dingus

***

“I just don’t get it!”

“Heard you the first time, bud,” quipped Valerie through a wry smile and a bite of celery. “You’re absolutely sure you didn’t… I don’t know, misinterpret something?”

“Yeah, I — no! Maybe?” Patton first tossed his phone onto the cafeteria table, then his hands into the air, frustrated. “I just don’t know why the sudden change in heart, Val. You know?”

“Who knows?”

“I know!”

“Okay, no. Press pause.” All eyes at the table turned to Corbin, who in turn was squinting through his glasses at Patton. “Guys, I’m barely following. Could you maybe explain what’s going on one more time?”

“Alright, you remember how I was telling you about Virgil yesterday? Lonely librarian guy? And you told everyone your and Sloane’s backstory and recommended I play friend-Cupid and all that jazz, right?” At Corbin’s nod: “Well, I tried it with Roman, and everything seemed to be going just peachy last night. He seemed really excited! But now all of a sudden… well, here.” Patton retrieved his phone to show his tablemates the messages. “Look.” 

le-petty-prince (11:12am): As I was saying though: I do hate to rain on your parade but to be frank I think Im uhh

le-petty-prince (11:13am): Good? Friendwise I mean

le-petty-prince (11:13am): Real sweet of you to reach out though

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:13am): wait what? really??

le-petty-prince (11:14am): Sorry there are just so many complications

le-petty-prince (11:15am): Im unbelievably busy these days, for one

le-petty-prince (11:15am): So so busy

le-petty-prince (11:15am): Student life, man. Busy with college

le-petty-prince (11:15am): Essays and stuff

le-petty-prince (11:16am): Look frankly I hardly even get to see my other friends anymore, if I went through with this the chances are pretty good that Id meet him for cronuts or whatever this one time and then never find time to hang out with him again

le-petty-prince (11:16am): Which just seems boorish. It would probably do more harm than good for poor V frankly

The last text appeared as Patton’s friends were still reading; with a frown, Valerie handed Patton’s phone back to him. “He is acting kind of weird.”

“Right? I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” Patton looked up at his friends apologetically. “Is it okay with you guys if I text at the table today?”

An indifferent shrug was his response. “Go nuts, man.”

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:17am): hey ro? can i be straight with you for a sec?

le-petty-prince (11:18am): Good luck with that

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:18am): -_-

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:18am): no points for the gay joke today, however tasteful it may have been. serious business here

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:18am): roman, what changed your mind really?

le-petty-prince (11:19am): Huh

le-petty-prince (11:19am): Wdym

le-petty-prince (11:19am): Didnt I just say? Haha

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:20am): mm i dont think you did

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:20am): you keep talking about “complications” and youre using the word “frankly” a lot and i know for a fact that you only ever use those words when youre hiding somethin

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:21am): nice try though!! but i did grow up in the same house as you did so im gonna need you to give it another go

le-petty-prince (11:22am): I dont know why youre being so weird about this pat

le-petty-prince (11:23am): I mean sheesh maybe I really am busy okay?

le-petty-prince (11:23am): And for the record that maybe is actually a resounding REALLY

le-petty-prince (11:23am): Look see I didnt even say anything to do with frankness that time! Absolutely zero traces of frank in this honest fellows messages right now

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:24am): -___-

le-petty-prince (11:24am): Frank? Whos that? Dont ask roman, he wouldnt be able to answer you!!

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:24am): -_______-

le-petty-prince (11:25am): Okay sorry youre right Im done

le-petty-prince (11:25am): Seriously though I dont understand how this warrants such a fuss? I just thought it over some more and realized it would actually be a bad idea to meet V for aforementioned reasons, et cetera et cetera. Why does that have to be such a big deal

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:26am): i…

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:26am): okay youre right i dont really know

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:26am): i guess this is just a really quick turnaround and it doesnt seem like something youd typically do??

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:27am): i mean you were all for it yesterday. you said, and i quote, “I cannot wait to meet him!!!”

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:27am): THREE exclamation marks and all!!! 

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:28am): besides, maybe college is busy but theres no reason you should be any busier now than youve always been and

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:28am): whew. sorry for being pushy. i didnt mean to sound like i dont respect your choice, ig im disappointed is all :(

le-petty-prince (11:29am): No thats ok

le-petty-prince (11:30am): Ill tell you what. You said youd see V on friday right? And todays thursday.

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:30am): uh

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:30am): yeah..

le-petty-prince (11:31am): So hows this: Ill think it over some more during rehearsal this evening, and if I have another change of heart Ill get back to you tomorrow.

TheJollyJollyFoley (11:31am): !!!!!!!!

le-petty-prince (11:32am): Its still not a yes!! 

le-petty-prince (11:32am): But… consider me solidly in Maybe territory.

le-petty-prince (11:32am): Capiche?

***

The majority of “tomorrow” had come and gone, and Patton still had yet to hear from his brother. 

He’d been glued to his phone all day, checking his messages with a near-obsessive frequency in hopes that Roman might text him to say he’d come to his senses after all… but as Patton buckled into the passenger seat of his mother’s tan SUV on its way to the library, he had to admit the odds were getting pretty slim. 

His mother, misinterpreting his solemn expression, shot him a quizzical glance out of the corner of her eye. “I thought you said the tutoring was going well.”

Before Patton could answer her, a quiet chime sounded from within his backpack — barely audible, but Patton’s ears had been piqued for it all day. Instantly, he scrambled to retrieve the bright blue source of the sound, perking up as he saw the screen was already illuminated. As Patton read over the contents of the notification, a wide grin spread across his face.

“Yeah,” Patton said out loud, addressing his mother with his words even as his fingers were already moving to type out a reply to someone else. “Tutoring’s great.”

le-petty-prince (3:44pm): Ah, what the hell. Im in.

***

A/N: me, rushing in more than a month late, starbucks cup in one hand and this update in the other: HEY GUYS DONT FORGET TO LIKE COMMENT AND RING TH -- wait where did everyone go

for real though, i'm so so sorry about how long this mediocre chapter took to go up!! this was the first chapter that i HADN'T finished the rough draft stage of during nanowrimo, and i huuuugely underestimated how long the unfinished portion would turn out to be. couple that with this weird writer's block that's been following me around wherever i go for a little over three months, and, well... you'll end up with this ^^; thank you so much for sticking with me though, and i hope it was at least semi-worth the wait?

[next chapter]

General: @surleytemple @starryfirefliesbloggo @icecoldparadise @lyditist @fandom-random2405 @beach-fan @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @starryeyedhomicide @unring-this-bell @flix-net @pheonix-inside @thelowlysatsuma @residentanchor @sanderstalker @kazykazu @theres-no-winning-on-christmas @fandersfic-patton @fandersfic-roman @fandersfic-logicality @fandersfic-prinxiety

AAmour: @romanticsanders @thatrandomautist @mirror2thespirit @pokii-jonas @basicmillennial @starlitparfait @littleladynightshade @insert--self--hatred @psychixx @damien-furlong

[omnivorousshipper]

Shobbs- Shovel Talks: Part 2

Hello! I am glad to say that I have finally written the second part of Shovel Talks! I hope to get the last chapter out in the next two weeks, but we’ll see if I can with life through everything its got at me. I also posted this on my AO3 if you want to check it out. Enjoy!

Summary:  Deckard really is the worst at giving Luke the Shovel Talk. But his family isn’t.

Part One: Hattie

Part Three: Magdalene

Final Part: Epilogue (Or Deckard’s Revenge)

Owen

The sun was slowly setting across Los Angeles, bathing the city in a beautiful array of color and casting long shadows across the city. The city’s lights were turning on, just as the dying light of the day left the buildings, giving them a different kind of life. Luke could only give a soft smile to the city that had been his home for such a long time. He loved Samoa, but Los Angeles had a life of its own that could not be replicated anywhere. Unfortunately, traffic came with that life, which Luke had been hoping to avoid. 

Walking out of the DSS headquarters, Luke headed towards his SUV, texting as he went. He had a large bag thrown over his shoulder, extra work to do at home, because for the next week he wouldn’t be coming back into the offices. After a lot of begging, and a bit of threatening, Luke had finally gotten some time off to spend with his daughter and boyfriend. 

Luke couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face at the thought of even being able to call Deckard Shaw his boyfriend. After being threatened by Deckard’s little sister, Luke had been able to pull the man away from the after party of saving the world from Eteon. It took a bit of time, but Luke had finally been able to convince Deckard, that no, Luke wasn’t after his little sister, but Deckard himself. Luke could still see the wide-eyed look Deckard had before he had literally thrown himself at Luke and proceeded to shove his tongue down the larger man’s throat. 

And hopefully they would be reenacting that night this week, but first Luke had to pick up ingredients for the overly complicated dish Deckard was planning to make to celebrate Luke’s time off. And by the increasing amount of passive aggressive texts, it seemed like Luke did not have a single clue as to what those ingredients were. 

“For the last time, Deck, I don’t know what the hell a marrow is,” Luke mumbled to himself. He was almost to his car when a rolling eyes emoji popped onto his screen. Rolling his own eyes, Luke opened his car door and tossed his bag in the passenger seat. Getting in and buckling up, his phone went off again. And Luke groaned at the message.

From Princess: Grab some candy floss when you’re there as well

“What the hell do you mean by ‘candy floss’?” Luke huffed, sending the question. Shaking his head, Luke reached up and adjusted the rearview mirror. “Deck, move shit back if you’re going to drive my car, you small-ass elf.”

As Luke moved the mirror back into position, he was met with the eyes of a severely pissed off little brother. 

“Owen,” Luke said, keeping eye contact with those almost glowing eyes. 

“Hobbs,” Owen Shaw hissed back. He was leaning back into the seat directly behind Luke’s, looking relaxed like breaking into his brother’s boyfriend’s car was normal. 

“Look, if you just wanted a ride, I’m sure Deck-” Luke started to say before he heard the click of a gun’s safety and then saw said gun being raised to the back of his head in the mirror. 

“Shut up,” Owen growled at him and shoved the gun in the space between the driver’s seat and the headrest. The gun was a shock of cold against Luke’s neck and made him jerk forward, but the gun still followed. “We’re going to go for a drive. So, start the car, do as I say, and stay quiet.”

Luke stared back at Owen, trying to gauge whether or not the younger Shaw would actually shoot him. The last time they had actually seen each other was back at the NATO base when Luke had been trying to arrest him. Since then, he hadn’t heard much about what Owen was up to. Even Deckard hadn’t even told him anything. Whenever the older Shaw would get a call from his brother, he would go into another room to talk. So, Luke was estimating a fifty-fifty chance of Owen actually going through with his threat.

“All right, we’ll go for a drive, but just remember who you’re pointing that gun at, Boy,” Luke said steely. The younger man just sneered at him and gestured with his gun for Luke to get on with it. Luke’s mouth tightened but did as Owen said and swiftly they were making their way out of the DSS headquarters and out onto the streets of L.A.

The ride was silent for some time, only Owen’s dry, emotionless voice cutting into it. Luke could tell that they were slowly leaving the city, and he had a good idea of Owen’s plans. Luke knew that if he just stayed quiet, he might be a goner, but having spent so much time with Deckard and Hattie, Luke also had an idea of how to make a Shaw lose their cool and go off script. 

“Hey, what’s ‘candy floss’? Deck asked me to pick some up,” Luke said, looking briefly at Owen’s surprised face in the rearview mirror. 

“What?” Owen said, incredulously. 

“Candy floss? Is that a real thing? I mean, it seems as if half the stuff that comes out of Deck’s mouth is total bull, but it didn’t seem like it this time,” Luke rambled, trying to watch the road and Owen’s reaction at the same time. “So, is it a purely Bri-”

“Shut the fuck up.” The gun’s barrel dug painfully into Luke’s neck and he gripped the wheel hard, so not to whip around and smack it out of Owen’s hands. And then probably crash both of them into oncoming traffic. “Just because you’re screwing my brother doesn’t mean you get to act like we’re mates.”

“And me screwing your brother doesn’t mean you get to give me the whole alpha male bullshit either,” Luke snapped back. What was with the Shaws and going insane when Luke tried to get with one of their siblings. “So how about we cut the crap, and you tell me what you want.”

“I don’t think you’ve realized what position you’re in, Hobbs. I’m the one calling the shots. Now be a nice little lapdog and do what I say,” Owen hissed and roughly jabbed the gun into Luke’s neck again.

“Watch it, Shaw,” Luke growled. “Or I swear to god I will beat your ass bloody once we get out of this car.”

“Are you sure about that?” Owen asked, smugness seeping into his tone. “Remember what Deck did to you last time I was hurt?”

Luke paused, letting the words sink in. Ok, so maybe beating up little brother is a big no-no, he thought regretfully. Still doesn’t mean the bastard is going to get off scot-free. He was about to say something to that effect, when Owen cut him off.

“Take the exit and keep going straight.” The next exit signaled them leaving the city and into the empty mountains surrounding it instead. 

“Where the fuck are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Owen said, refusing to say anything else to his hostage. 

Luke could only keep going, watching as the sun was getting closer and closer to the horizon as they made their way up a small mountain. The road had quickly become dirt as they got higher and was slowly looking more like a cliff than an actual road. Only when they finally reached a large clearing at one of the turns did Owen finally allow them to stop. 

“Get out of the car slowly.” Luke sighed and did as he was told. He could hear Owen mirroring his actions behind him as they opened and closed the car’s doors. “Hands above your head. Walk forward.”

Silently going along with Owen’s demands, Luke walked towards the edge of the cliff they were on. And Luke had to admit, the view was amazing. From up here, he could see almost the whole city: the final rays of sunlight glinting off the skyscrapers, flowing rivers of cars winding their way through, and faint stars in the sky slightly dusting the whole image. “You picked one hell of a place to off me, Owen.”

“Oh, this is just one of many places I could make sure your body won’t be found.” It sounded like Owen was keeping his distance this time. Probably knew Luke was not against the idea of throwing the smaller man off the cliff they were standing on. 

“Look, Owen. It doesn’t have to be like this. If this is about me and your brother, then talk to Deck. Because I think he’d be pretty upset if you killed me,” Luke called back to the other man, trying to get him to see reason.

“He’d get over it. He’d see that he doesn’t need some muscle head to drag him down,” Owen responded and cocked his gun. The noise seemed to swell and echo, making Luke dry swallow. “I honestly don’t even know what he sees in you.”

“Then ask him for Christ’s sake!” Luke shouted. “Cause if you think for a second I’d ever hurt him, you’re wrong! He knows I’ll always have his back, just like he has mine. I would do anything for him!”

“Anything?” Owen asked. “Even die for him?”

“Yes.” Luke’s voice was firm as he gave a small nod, knowing he had just sealed his fate.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you then, Hobbs,” Owen said. Luke could hear the click of the gun and screwed his eyes shut.

A gunshot wrung out. 

Luke could feel his heart miss a beat, and waited for it to actually stop. Instead he heard footsteps walking away from him. Turning, Luke saw Owen going towards a green sport car parked a short distance away. Opening the door, he turned back to Luke, calling out:

“Candy floss is cotton candy, you dumbass.”

Deftly, Owen was in the car and driving away, his car spraying gravel at Luke’s SUV, the tiny rocks making small noises against the metal. Lowering his arms, Luke could still hear the rush of blood in his ears as he stared at where the other man had just been. 

“I’m starting to really hate some of the Shaw family,” Luke said to himself, scrubbing a hand down his face. Walking on unsteady legs, he made it back to the car and just sat for a minute. Checking his phone he had several messages from Deck and no bars to respond to them. Collecting himself, Luke started the car, but immediately realized what Owen had shot:

The SUV’s front right tire.

“I fucking hope he falls out of another plane,” Luke said, slowly letting his head hit the stearing wheel in defeat, just as the sun finally slipped under the horizon and cast the lonely mountain in blackness. 

After fumbling in the dark for almost an hour, Luke was able to get the spare tire on and was able to make his way back into the city. As soon as his phone got signal, he texted Deckard and let him know that he had had some car problems and was on his way to the store and then home. He felt a small smile form on his face as he saw a heart emoji amidst the insults Deckard was rapidly sending.

After another hour, Luke was finally able to pull into his driveway and park. The house was dark, except for the lights in the kitchen, meaning Sam was already in bed and Deckard had stayed up for him. Luke could only smile. 

After grabbing the groceries and letting himself in, Luke heard soft footsteps coming from the kitchen. Looking over, Luke saw a sight that he hoped he would see many more times. Standing in the doorway was Deckard, wearing too long sweatpants and too large shirt. The light of the kitchen gave his face a soft look and made his smile seem even more angelic to Luke. 

“Hey there, Princess,” Luke called out softly, trying not to wake Sam. Deckard just gave him a fond look and an eye roll at the nickname. They both walked towards each other, meeting halfway. Luke gently wrapped his arms around Deckard’s waist and pulled them flush together. “What are you doing up?”

“Waiting for your slow ass,” Deckard mumbled as he wrapped his own arms around Luke’s neck and brought him down for a kiss. Their lips gently locked, staying chaste, with a slow passion behind it. It was a nice change from their usual frantic kisses, and left both of them feeling warm and content. “But I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?” Luke asked, looking down at Deckard, who for some reason was not looking him in the eye. Instead, he was looking off to the side, an almost vulnerable look on his face. “Everything ok, Deck?”

“It’s just…” the smaller man trailed off. Luke gently grabbed Deckard’s chin, making him look Luke in eyes. Silently asking again, Luke watched Deckard steel himself before finally asking his question. “Well, it’s just that Owen called today. He’s going to be in town tomorrow. I was wondering if he could spend the next few days with us.”

Luke was not sure what facial expression he was making, but by Deckard’s tentative smile dropping away into disappointment, Luke had to guess he probably looked horrified. Quickly shaking himself of his shock, Luke responded. “No, no. It’s fine. Your sister and I already get along, so it makes sense that I should get along with Owen as well, right?”

Deckard smiled in return. “It’s good both of you want to bury the hatchet.”

Luke could only return the smile, as Deckard leaned forward and started to pepper Luke’s neck with kisses and small nips. Luke brought a hand up to rest on the back of Deckard’s neck, keeping him there. But, even though small shivers of pleasure went through his body, Luke could not help but stare off into the distance over Deckard’s shoulder. Swirling thoughts of having to deal with a vengeful little brother for the next few days would not stop filling his mind.

[phantom-curve]

Mads I have to be annoying and send you another one of those prompts 😂 Platonic Alex & Reggie with "liberosis - the desire to care less about things"!

this was not the first prompt you sent in, but I had way too much fun exploring this dynamic and I couldn't resist doing this one before the others! set in the gimme a chance AU, please enjoy this deleted scene that takes place after chapter 4 ft. Alex and Reggie being completely Over It™️

liberosis - the desire to care less about things (Rated T+ for language and some slightly suggestive wording about Luke and Julie's relationship)

“Okay so like, we’re in agreement that this is just a weird thing we’re not gonna talk about, right?”

It was late. Alex had stumbled home from work completely drained and exhausted around 10 pm and Reggie had apparently been waiting up to have this conversation, work clothes still on, fingers restless as they twisted together in front of his body where he sat propped up against the couch, TV turned low and forgotten behind him. For a second, Alex wasn’t exactly sure what Reggie was talking about. And then he remembered it was Sunday. Which meant yesterday had been Saturday. And all of the stupid Luke drama he had been trying to ignore came flooding back.

“No, we’re not gonna talk about it,” Alex said firmly, meeting Reggie’s concerned gaze with a look that he hoped translated into I will literally talk about anything else but this right now. “Total radio silence as far as I’m concerned.”

“Cool, okay. Glad we’re on the same page.”

Reggie’s head dipped and bobbed as he nodded his agreement. Alex let out a sigh of relief as he hunched over to slip his work shoes off and stack them on the rack by the front door. Then, the air seemed to grow thick with some sort of unspoken tension. Alex felt it press against him like an old, uncomfortable sweater, itchy and oppressive against his chest. When he straightened once more, Reggie was waiting to meet his gaze head on. Clearly, they were gonna talk about it.

“I’m not alone in thinking it’s like...kinda weird, right?”

Alex sighed, the action bone deep and heavy in a way that only Luke’s shenanigans could make him feel. Reggie wasn’t wrong. It was kinda weird that Luke had been hiding this whole Julie thing from them. It was kinda weird that Luke had managed to pull it off at all, actually. The boy was not known for his subtlety. He had very clearly struck out with Julie the first time around, and yet somehow, he had managed to draw her back in. Alex could tell by the way Luke had stuttered and stammered over the whole thing the night before that he had been trying to keep it lowkey. As if that boy even knew the meaning of the word. Case in point: he hadn’t been able to play it cool for 5 seconds once she had started ignoring him.

“Yeah, Reg, it’s definitely kinda weird.”

“Oh, good, I’m really glad I’m not the only one who feels that way about it. Ya know, when I first figured it out, I was like, ‘okay maybe it’s just a one-time thing.’ But it’s not a one-time thing. Definitely not. And I just like...don’t understand why he isn’t talking about it? Why is he trying to pretend its no big deal? It’s obviously a big deal.”

Alex desperately wished he could go back in time and take Willie up on his offer to spend the night tonight if only to be able to avoid this uncomfortable word vomit that Reggie didn’t seem capable of stopping. If there was ever a can of worms that didn’t need to be opened, it was this one, focused on Luke’s love life and his interactions with Julie, and what all of that meant in the grand scheme of things. Alex did not have the time or patience to truly get into this right now, he really didn’t. Except Reggie was looking at him so expectantly, as if Alex would reach into his fanny pack and pull out a booklet of answers, and so he also couldn’t just leave the poor guy to obsess alone.

“Okay, so we’re gonna do this, yeah? We’re gonna talk about it? Lemme...lemme just like get some sweats on and make some dinner, okay?”

Reggie let out a deep breath that Alex hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Yeah. Yeah, whatever you need, Lex.”

Alex didn’t dawdle. This was not a conversation that was going to go away or be dismissed. Reggie needed to talk it out, and honestly, now that he thought about it, Alex kind of did, too. And not to someone like Willie who would grin and say, “can’t stop true love hot dog, gotta let them ride that wave and figure out if they’re gonna sink or swim on their own” and act all blasé about it. He needed to talk about it with someone like Reggie who, just like Alex, was in the unique position of being friends with Flynn and Carrie (which meant knowing just enough about Julie to have an idea of exactly why she would be so appealing to Luke) as well as being one of Luke’s brothers (which meant knowing him better than he knew himself sometimes). Together, they might be able to figure out if the two would be like oil and water or more like fire and gasoline. Reggie was the only person who could have that kind of discussion with him, so yeah, they were doing this.

Alex made quick work of cleaning off in the shower and switching his work clothes for sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. Reggie was still waiting on the couch, staring at the tv but not actually watching whatever was playing out on the 32-inch screen. He had managed to change out of his clothes and into some Star Wars themed pajamas though. Alex skirted around the couch edge so he could press a quick, reassuring hand against Reggie’s scalp as he made his way into the kitchen. Reggie’s eyes moved away from the screen to track his movements. Alex might be the one with anxiety, but Reggie needed more reassurance when it came to things that might end with his family falling apart in one way or another. Alex wasn’t about to let him get so worked up that he convinced himself this would be catalyst that ruined everything.

“Honestly, Reg, what are we even supposed to do here? You know he’s gonna keep seeing her no matter what we say.”

Alex tried to open the conversation gently, eyes fixed on his bowl as it revolved in circles inside the microwave. Reggie didn’t answer at first, not until the beep of Alex’s food being finished rang out in the small apartment. When he did speak, he sounded partly apologetic and partly resigned.

“I don’t know. I know I probably should have said something after last week but...he just seemed so happy. I didn’t wanna mess it up for him. But last night was weird and it didn’t feel good. I’m worried Luke’s on a one-way path to destruction and I don’t know if it’s gonna be because of Julie or because of Flynn.”

Alex tried not to let his face fall into his freshly warmed bowl of pasta as he pulled it from the microwave. He really, really did not want to think about the ways that Flynn would rip Luke to shreds when she found out what had been going on behind her back. He had learned two things about the pint-sized firecracker in the year or so that he had known her: don’t mess with Carrie and don’t mess with Julie. Luke had already kinda fucked up on one of those counts. He wasn’t super thrilled thinking about what her reaction might be when she discovered he had been messing around with the second one, and in a much bigger way, too. He turned to face Reggie, forced himself to soften his own anxiety when he caught sight of the nerves etched out in harsh lines across the bassist’s forehead. Deep breath in, deep breath out just like his therapist had taught him.

“Flynn is gonna react however she’s gonna react. We can’t control that. She’s gonna have Julie’s back no matter what so all we can do is watch out for Luke.”

Reggie was nodding along in agreement, features smoothing out now that there was something of a plan for him to follow. Alex swung himself onto a barstool, bowl in front of him as his mind turned over and over all the millions of ways this thing between Julie and Luke could go south. Reggie moved off of the couch, hesitating for just a moment before he walked over to lean against the island in the kitchen where Alex was doing his best not to spiral.

“I think he likes her. Like...like likes her.”

Reggie’s voice was quiet, like he was sharing some secret he had been sworn to silence over. Alex turned to look at him again, not entirely sure he wanted to believe it.

“Dude, we’re not in middle school. You hook up with people all the time and it never means more than a night of shared passion. Luke can do the same thing.”

The look Reggie leveled his way was nothing short of disbelieving, eyebrows raised so high they had practically disappeared into his hairline. Alex kinda had to hand it to him there. He didn’t really believe Luke actually could pull off a casual relationship, especially not with a girl like Julie who probably set every single one of his musical nerve endings on high alert. Reggie and Luke weren’t the same in that manner. Reggie wanted to give love and receive it in turn without any reservations or worries about the intent behind it. Just two people meeting in a mutually beneficial exchange and then moving on with their lives to find that again with someone else. Luke’s love was deliberate, a commitment. There was no way whatever he was doing was casual.

“Okay, okay. Put the eyebrows away already.”

Reggie’s face relaxed into something less concerned and more exhausted. Alex felt that all the way to the depths of his soul. Generally speaking, Luke was pretty exhausting. And he was even more exhausting when he wasn’t taking care of himself in order to take care of someone else, in this case: Julie. Alex scooped up his bowl of pasta and tucked an arm around Reggie’s shoulders, guiding both of them to the couch. The tv was still playing something Alex couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to, but the low hum of voices in the background made the apartment feel a little less cold and quiet. Alex shoveled a bite of pasta into his mouth, chewing slowly and deliberately before he turned to face Reggie once more.

“Look, we don’t actually have any control over any of this shit. We know how Luke is, and we kinda know what’s up with Julie, but we can’t stop them from interacting or scare them off from each other. As much as it sucks, I think we gotta just ride this one out. And if Luke gets hurt, we’ll be here to patch him up and love him through it.”

Alex blinked in surprise, not actually sure those words had just come out of his mouth. By the way Reggie was studying him, he wasn’t sure the other boy could believe it either. Then, Reggie’s lips curved into a knowing smirk.

“Willie’s been rubbing off on you. All that therapy and go with the flow shit. You’re like a whole new drummer boy.”

Alex guffawed and reached over to shove Reggie playfully, being sure to keep his now empty bowl clear of the scuffle. Reggie ducked around his outstretched arm, sneaking under to poke at Alex’s side in a way that had him twisting and nearly falling off the couch.

“Jeez, Uncle, Uncle! Fuckin hell, man, no need to go straight for the tickle spots.”

Reggie huffed out a laugh, collapsing back into the couch next to Alex. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound the canned laughter and predictable lines of the tv show.

“Hey, Lex?”

Alex hummed and rolled his head to meet Reggie’s eyes.

“Do you ever wish you just like...didn’t care so much about everything?”

Alex’s laugh echoed above the sound of the tv. He leaned into Reggie’s side, letting the familiar comfort wash over him.

“All the time, Reg. Literally, all the fucking time.”

[angelbabylu]

Only For The Night // CH

pairing: oc x calum 

word count: 8k 

warnings: smut, angst, fluff and brief mentions of sexual abuse 

notes: dad!sos baby!!!! okay, well more like dad!sos origins. I’ve been writing this fic for like a month now and truthfully, i ended up scrapping the first couple of versions. BUT i really like how the final version came out. special thanks to @5sosnsfw​ and @aspiringwildfire​ for reading and editing this fic. i love you both so much!! more notes at the end!

title: from LOVE. FEAT. ZACARI by Kendrick Lamar. 

--

September 2015

“Did you bring me all the way to your fancy house to show off how rich and famous you are?”

The girl perched atop Calum’s marble counters had an unmistakably flirtatious glint in her eyes. With the smallest of movements, she curled the corner of her mouth up into a insinuating smirk. Not for the first time that night, Calum was floored by the unconventional beauty in front of him. There was something in those deep brown eyes, in the soft plush of her lips, the light rosy tint of her cheeks, that pulled Calum in.

This was the very same allure that had caused Calum to respond to her earlier announcement of “I’m craving ice cream now” with “I have some at my house.”

Just half an hour before they had been sipping beers on a sofa in Michael’s girlfriend’s living room. Crystal had decided to throw a party for some superfluous reason or another - one that Calum was sure she had explained to him, but that had slipped his mind as soon as he had heard it. Sometimes, it felt like Crystal threw a party every week and while Calum preferred the comfort of his bed and a Netflix series he had seen a thousand times, Michael just started dating her and part of his new boyfriend routine included forcing his friends to attend every event she hosted.

When he had arrived at her house, his plan had been to sit in a corner and get drunk enough to forget his social inhibitions and maybe eventually mingle with some of her friends. His social crutches Ashton and Luke were both MIA that night. Ashton and Bryana’s relationship was on the rocks, and they were spending some time alone trying to mend it. And Luke — well, as usual he and Arzaylea were at some high end music event smooth talking execs.

When Michael had handed Calum a beer at the door, Calum had known that would be their only interaction for the night. Michael was so obsessed with being the perfect boyfriend to Crystal, he would follow her around like a lost dog. Unfortunately for Calum, perfect boyfriends didn’t hide away in corners getting drunk with their best friends.

So, as planned, Calum had taken a couple shots of tequila, then found his corner, nursing a beer in one hand and scrolling through social media on his phone in the other, waiting for his buzz to kick in.

Beth was not planned.

A few minutes into his pre-drunk brood, she had ungraciously plopped herself next to him and asked, “What’s a tree’s favorite drink?”

His first thought was that he was somehow already drunk and had misheard her. “What?”

The flirtatious glint he would grow familiar with shined in her eyes for the first time that night. She had a bright red popsicle in one hand and fidgeted with a phone in the other. The red of the popsicle had bled unto her tongue and lips, drawing Calum’s eyes to her cupid’s bow as she repeated once more, “What’s a tree’s favorite drink?”

Calum wasn’t quite sure how to answer, but the more he turned the question over in his mind, the more convinced he was that there was some joke in it that he had missed.

The confusion must have been fairly evident on his face because she rolled her eyes and blew out an exasperated sigh. The knuckles of the hand still holding her phone gently pushed at his shoulders. “Did you talk to anyone before coming to sit in this corner?”

Calum had half a mind to be affronted, but truthfully, he had only said hello to Michael and gotten a few shots from Crystal. “I said hello to Mikey and Crystal?” He offered sheepishly. He wasn’t shy exactly, but sometimes he needed a little liquid courage before coming to life at a party. It wasn’t hard at a party surrounded by people he knew, but this was mostly Crystal’s friends, and he was not the best at introducing himself to new people.

“Well, lucky for you, I’ve talked to almost everyone.” As she spoke, Calum took in the way she was always in motion, fingers rapping aimlessly on her phone case or fidgeting with her popsicle stick, shoes tapping lightly against the hardwood floor. She even took a pause in her speech to wrap scarlet stained lips over the head of the popsicle. Calum had to consciously draw his eyes away from the movement of her mouth so as to not be caught staring.

“Crystal’s trying to defend her title as the undisputed party throwing champ, so she bought a bunch of treats that are basically quintessential to growing up in America in the nineties and early two thousands.” She gestured to the popsicle in hand. “The popsicle, of course, is an important add. And no 90’s popsicle is complete without the joke on the stick.”

It took a moment for Calum to realize she was done speaking, waiting for him to respond. As the popsicle disappeared into her mouth again, Calum found himself unable to concentrate.

His genius response was, “Like a paddle pop?”

And this was why Ashton said there was no sight more amusing than Calum attempting to talk to a pretty girl. To be fair, she had thrown him off his rhythm. She had shown up out of nowhere with her red stained lips and deep brown eyes and a question he couldn’t understand. Her every movement proved a distraction, everything from the way she licked her lips to the way she tucked raven black strands falling loose from her twin dutch braids behind her hair.

Beth snorted in a way that shouldn’t have been attractive, but Calum thought it was cute anyway. “What the fuck is a paddle pop?”

“Ice cream.” He clarified. “On a stick. They used to have jokes on them. Do you guys not have that here? They’re huge in Australia.”

She shook her head, more strands falling free to frame her face. “Sorry Mr. Australia, we only have plain old popsicles here.”

Somehow that had launched them into a conversation about the differences in their American and Australian upbringing. It turns out Beth had been born in New York to immigrant islander parents whose strict adherence to their culture made her feel as if she had grown up in two different countries. To make matters more complicated, Beth had moved to California with her mom after her dad died. She quickly learned that California was like another country all on its own. Despite her eclectic upbringing, they still managed to find areas of common ground. They talked about music (his love for classic rock and her love for early 00s pop), TV shows (Calum hadn’t seen any of her Disney Channel favorites, but they could both agree on their love of Arthur and the Wiggles), toys (Tamagotchis were a yes, Ferbies were a no), their home lives and everything in between. It didn’t escape Calum’s notice how she skirted around any mentions of her mother. He wondered what the story was there but decided not to press her.

Calum wasn’t sure how long they sat in Crystal’s living room talking, or how long it was before Beth reached the end of the popsicle and found her answer (A tree’s favorite drink is root beer) or even how long it was before she had announced her craving for ice cream. He was so enraptured by her; he barely noticed the passage of time. He wanted to lie to himself, to assert that his desire to continue the conversation is what made him invite her over to his house. Truthfully, it was the pull of wanting something more.

Now, she was swinging her short legs off the edge of his kitchen counter and sucking mint chip ice cream from a spoon. Idly, he wondered if she noticed how his eyes had been straying to her lips all night.

“I’m not trying to show off,” Calum grumbled, leaning forward, bracing himself on his elbows on the countertop next to her. It was not an accident the way his forearm grazed the outer edge of her thigh. When she had hopped on the counter, her button front jean skirt had slipped even higher, and he couldn’t help the way the deep color of her skin caught his eye.

She had been flirting with him all night if the gratuitous glances and her light grazes were any indications. Even now as she shoveled another spoonful of ice cream and held it out for him, it felt intimate and teasing, as if they were both after the same thing.

It was easier with her than it had been with his other recent pulls. As much as he had been imagining her lips around his dick the entire night, Calum had also really enjoyed their conversation, and even if he didn’t get to fuck her, he knew he would still save her number and text her in a few days.

“It’s okay if you’re showing off. The only thing I like more than tall, broody strangers are tall, broody strangers with nice houses.”

A blush tinted Calum’s cheeks. “Good, that means my plan is working.”

They smiled shyly at one another then Beth went silent for a moment, all of her attention focused on the ice cream in hand. He wasn’t sure how to verbalize what he was feeling or how to ask if she was feeling it as well.

There was always the possibility that his mind was playing tricks on him, but the way she purred her next question made him think otherwise.

“And what is that plan exactly?”

Calum moved to stand in front of her, but kept a short distance between them, not wanting to give in to his desire until he got the express permission to do so. Slipping off of the counter, Beth mirrored his action. His eyes tracked the way her skirt slid up her thighs before moving back up to her eyes.

He summoned a little courage. It didn’t hurt to ask. “Well if you just want to continue talking and eating ice cream that’s fine. But if you were interested in something more, we can do that too.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” The ice cream tub thudded forgotten on the counter, and she reached out a hand to him. “I’ve been putting the moves on you all night.”

Calum was powerless to resist the pull of her. Mirroring her action, he reached out as well. As soon as their fingers touched, she gripped them tightly, pulling him towards her with one firm tug.

“When?” He asked, teasingly. “The confusing opening question or the couple hours long talk about our families?”

When his hands laid gently on the small of her back, hers twisted in the hair at his nape, the cool metal of her rings occasionally brushing against his scalp. “Okay, I might be bad at the whole flirting thing, but I was basically blowing that popsicle earlier.”

A flash of plush red lips stretching deliciously over the head of the popsicle flashed in Calum’s mind. “Yeah that. . .” He didn’t have words. There must have been an obvious moonstruck look on his face because Beth giggled and pulled him towards her.

“I figured that would work.” A few seconds later, the lips he’d been enchanted by all night were finally on his.

She tasted like the mint chocolate chip ice cream they had just been sharing.

As he savored the taste of her, he allowed his hands to roam, feeling the soft curves of her torso, gripping lightly at the spots he could feel himself becoming obsessed with. He couldn’t wait to get her into bed, to tease with lips roaming everywhere.

Later, he thought, filing those ideas away. For now, he dropped his hands further, grabbing at the meaty flesh of her ass and kneading a few times. Beth moaned into his mouth at the feeling and pressed closer to him. He slid his hands down again, to her thighs this time, and hiked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist in response. A second later, he placed her back on the kitchen counter. They both sighed in relief as the height difference shortened. He no longer had to crane his neck down, and she no longer had to stand on the tips of her toes.

Plus, she was now at the perfect height for him to mouth at her chin. She smelt amazing there, like roses and cocoa butter and the fading hints of an oceany perfume.

Almost reluctantly, he left her chin to toy with her neck. As he moved, he could hear her breath hitch with every nip and suck. By the time he made it to her chest, grabbing the edges of her shirt and pulling it over her head, burying his face happily on the perfect pillow her pushup had created, she began to get whiny.

He smirked.

He loved it when girls got like this.

He loved their high pitched pleas. It felt like reassurance almost, letting him know that they were just as affected by him as he was by them.

“Can I?” He asked, nimble fingers loosely playing with the hook of her bra. She nodded, and the bra was off, joining the shirt on the floor. When he took one nipple into her mouth, rolling the other between his forefinger and thumb, she gasped out his name like a prayer, her nails scratching lightly at the hair at his nape.

“Are we really gonna fuck on this kitchen counter?” Beth asked when he moved on to the next nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first.

He laughed, letting her breast fall from between his lips. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

“I’ll say.” Beth gestured pointedly to the way he had his hands on each of her breasts as they spoke, playing with them idly. Sheepish at his lust, but unable to keep his hands off her, he moved them back to her side.

He didn’t make any efforts to leave the kitchen, however. Instead, he dipped his head, so he could curve into her mouth once more.

“You’re intoxicating.” He breathed into her, as if the very act of kissing her was making him drunk. Before they knew it, his hands were roaming again, down thighs this time, fingers digging into the softness there.

It took Beth a minute to get her wits about her, drunk on him too. When she did, she pulled her mouth away, hand gripping Calum’s, forcing their motions to stop.

“Bed, Calum.” She was laughing. At what he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was at the way neither of them could seem to keep their wants at bay long enough to make it up a flight of stairs to Calum’s bedroom.

Both of Calum’s hands went up in the air, and he took an exaggerated step back in a show of restraint. “Okay, okay. I’ll take you to my bedroom.”

He turned and offered his back to her. “Hop on.”

She did, but not without grumbling. “Piggyback ride?”

“Piggyback rides are sexy.”

The melody of her laugh sounded right next to his ear, and he couldn’t help but laugh with her. “I’m really about to have sex with a guy who thinks piggyback rides are sexy. Lord, help me.”

“To be fair, at this point, I’d think doing anything with you was sexy.”

She hopped off his back once in his room, and they shut the door behind them. They didn’t bother turning on any lights but as she moved closer to the bed, the moon shining down from his skylight, illuminating and accentuating her curves. That was more than enough to set his desire alight again. Stalking towards her, he was ready to get his mouth on her once more.

A single finger to the chest stopped him before he could get more than arm's length. “Uh huh.” she purred. “I’m over here in my skirt and panties, and you’re fully clothed. You’re not playing fair, Mr. Hood.”

Hastily, he removed his shirt and his pants then looked to her expectantly. When she gestured to his boxers, he released an indignant, “You too!”

She rolled her eyes, but a few seconds later, they were both standing staring at each other’s naked bodies.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Her arms went around her frame, a sign that she was a little self-conscious about the way his eyes drifted over her body.

“Can’t.” He murmured as he crossed the short distance between them. “You’re too beautiful.”

“You can stop laying it on so thick, I’m going to let you fuck me.”

“Bethany.” He paused, searching through all the information she had relayed about herself earlier that night. “Bethany whatever your last name is, I’m not ‘laying it on thick.’ I honestly think that you are gorgeous, and I need you to know that.”

Beth ducked her head as if trying to hide from the compliment, but Calum slipped two fingers under her chin and lift her face up to meet his.

“You’re so cute.” He punctuated each word with a chaste peck on the lips.

“Shut up and take me to bed,” Beth ordered steely, but there was a light blush dusting her cheek and a grateful look in her eye that told Calum she appreciated the way he complimented her.

Unceremoniously, he picked her up, laughing at her yelp in surprise. Then, he crossed the hardwood expanse of his room and deposited her on his bed.

This time when their lips met again, all the frantic heat from the kitchen and the teasing feather light pecks from a few seconds before were replaced with slow, tender movements of their tongues rubbing against one another’s.

All his life, the intimacy of touch was second nature to him, so it was easy for him to pour out his adoration with his mouth and worship her body with his hands. Said wanderers moved up and down her side, gripping at the softness of her middle and her thighs.

He pulled their mouths away, so he could lick down her neck and chest. Every nip and suck drew a slight hitch in her breath. She was easy to arouse. By the time his tongue darted out into the dip of her belly button, she was squirming and pleading, trying to guide his head where she wanted him most.

Instead, he teased her. He skimmed a lightly stubbled cheek against the inside of her thigh, breathing deeply to take in the heady scent of her sex.

“Calum Hood, when are you going to stop teasing me?” her voice waned, dripping with a plea.

He let out a small huff of breath against her thigh and whispered, “Never.”

When he crawled back up her body instead of giving in to her temptation, she shot him an unimpressed look. He let out a short yelp in surprise when she flipped them, sitting up on his thighs.

“I’m taking charge now,” she said pointedly, playfully unamused with his earlier teasing.

Unbidden, she reached her fingers down to rub gently on the underside of his cock. He was already hard, and he knew that in just a few moments, she would have him leaking.

“I’m starting to learn that you like being in charge,” he grunted out. The words were hard to concentrate on as she gripped and stroked him, sending prickles of pressure up and down his spine. She kept eye contact with him as she bowed, bringing soft, plump lips to his tip. God, he had been dreaming about that all night. Overwhelmed, he couldn’t help but moan in arousal.

He could get turned on from the sight of her lips wrapped around his cock alone. Accompanied by the sinful movements of her tongue, he felt as if he was on fire. She bobbed her head, using her hand to cover what she couldn’t reach. As he felt his pleasure building, he knew he had to get in her.

“I thought you said something about letting me fuck you?”  he joked, voice heavy with lust nonetheless.

She pulled off him with a wet pop. “Now, I’m getting carried away.”

He slid the hand that was at her nape to her chin, nudging just enough for her to get a hint. Crawling up his body, she allowed her weight to fall fully atop him, taking a second to dip into his mouth.

“Gonna ride you,” she commanded between kisses.

“Of course you are.” No question she liked setting the pace for them. She had been doing it all night. Riding him would allow her to keep control.

“Condoms?” She asked, already instinctively leaning over him to his bedside table. He didn’t respond, knowing that she would find just want she needed as soon as she opened the drawer. She held up the condom in triumph before settling back over him.

She easily rolled the condom on, but before she could line herself up with his member, Calum pulled her down for a kiss. Every time she moved away, he felt starving for a taste, craving her kisses as much as he craved being inside her.

Immediately after they parted, he brought two fingers to her mouth and commanded, “Suck.”

She pulled them between her lips, tongue coiling around the long digits. When he pulled them out, he was enraptured by the string of translucent saliva that connected them until it broke. Then he was on her. Their lips met with desire as his fingers went to her clit, applying pressure, causing her to gasp into his mouth. He grazed between folds, slipping in and out of her, coaxing shudders from her supple frame.

“Calum.”

Her whines dragged him from his explorations.

“Sorry,” He bit out. It seemed like getting carried away was their theme for the night.

Shaking her head in slight exasperation, she pushed his hand away, then lined herself up with his cock.

Calum couldn’t help but groan, “Fuck,” as he became enveloped in her pulsing heat.

The way she moved on him was sinful. She started slowly, moving up and down, squeezing him gently. That alone was enough for his hands to fly up to her middle, squeezing gently as he threw his head back with a groan. She pressed herself on top of him, and he marveled in the softness of her. When she started kissing his neck and grinding on him in earnest, he decided that they had to do this again.

“Fuck baby girl. You feel so good.”

“Yeah?” She asked, and he couldn’t even respond. Sitting up, she had changed her rhythm, moving more enthusiastically against him. His grip on her tightened as he lost control of his hips. She didn’t like that.

When he started bucking up to meet her motions, she placed one delicate hand on his torso and whispered, “Behave.”

“Come on,” he whined, but she ignored his pleas, bouncing lasciviously up and down his dick.

It felt like forever that he was a slave to her motions, the way her hips dropped down to meet his and she clenched around him. Somewhere along the line, he had turned to begging, wanting to take charge, to flip them so he could properly fuck into her.

Finally, she gave into him.

“Alright you big baby,” she had grumbled, then slid right off of him. Lying next to him, she opened up her legs, inviting him in. Both of them groaned when he lined up with her entrance again. He fucked into her slowly while mouthing up and down her neck. At each thrust, she whined and cried out his name. Her fingers clawed up and down his back, bringing pleasure almost to the point of pain.

“You said you wanted to fuck me, so fuck me.” Bossy as always.

He slid his arms beneath her knees, pushing her legs up against her chest so he could drive into her. Their sounds devolved to groans and the calling out of each other’s names. She came first, clenching against him, her whole body shuddering. He felt the moment, immediately following her release, when the sensations changed. When the condom ripped open, and he became intimately familiar with the walls inside her. The feeling came as such a shock to him, but before he could even process it, he was spilling inside her.

There was no relief in his release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Calum was muttering as he pulled out of her. “Shit. The condom ripped.”

Beth did not share his sense of urgency. Amusement glinted in her eyes as she failed to smother a yawn.

“Relax,” she chided lightly. “I have an IUD.”

Then the amusement in her eyes turned biting. “Unless you have an STD?”

Calum shook his head, disposing of the torn latex material. “I don’t have an STD.” It didn’t even cross Calum’s mind to be worried about his own health. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go get you Plan B?”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Trust me. I fucked my ex for two years with this IUD. We’re fine.”

Calum still twitched nervously at the edge of the bed, worrying his lip.

“Come back to bed,” Beth ordered. “Come tell me how good that was.”

It took a moment, but eventually, Calum decided to trust her, putting his fears behind him. “That was good.”

He crawled back in bed with her. From her position laying atop him, Beth merely made a sound of agreement.

“Although maybe next time I should just tie you up and have my way with you. Get you to give up control for a second.” His tone was light and teasing, but the way her breath hitched told him that was definitely something they could explore in the future.

“Or maybe,” she said somewhat indignantly, “I should tie you up and have my way with you.”

“We’ll take turns,” he conceded easily and was surprised to hear her murmur in agreement.

She stifled a yawn and asked, “Can I sleep here? Just for a bit. ‘M tired.”

Calum nodded, “Yeah. Stay as long as you like,” unaware that when he awoke, she would be gone.

.

.

.

May 2018

Calum doesn’t even hear Beth’s name again until three years later. And not for lack of trying. The memory of one unanswered text message lived in the dark recesses of his mind - If you’re not busy there’s a new ice cream place in West Hollywood I want to try?

Nothing.

He had agonized over her lack of an answer for days. At one point, he was almost desperate enough to go to Crystal. Eventually, his sense of self-preservation won over his desire to see her again. Michael and Crystal hadn’t been paying attention to him at the party and Ashton and Luke weren’t even there. No one knew of his tryst with Beth, and it was probably better that it stayed that way. If Calum alerted his friends, that was just four more people to watch as he struck out with a girl he was arrogant enough to believe he had left an impression on.

Still, over the years his mind would occasionally shift back to her. He could never shake the feeling that her unanswered text was more than a dismissal. Crystal proved these feelings correct.

“Calum,” she had called as she waltzed into the room. She was ignored by four of the five individuals that lounged in various states of relaxation on her couches.

Calum didn’t even take his eyes off the screen where his disparaging number of kills reminded him why he didn’t like playing video games against Michael. Michael’s devotion to these games went unmatched within the group, which is why it came as a complete surprise when he paused it.

“Hey!” Calum cried out in protest. But when he looked over to Michael to complain, he realized that all Michael’s attention was focused on Crystal. That’s when Calum brain caught up with reality, and he realized that he had missed her calling his name upon entering the room. “Oh shit, sorry. Yes?”

The minute his eyes grazed over her, he knew something was wrong. She was paler than usual, and her lips were clasped into a thin line. “I need to talk to you.”

Ashton query of, “What’s Up?” came before Calum could even open his mouth. There was a distinct note of worry in both Crystal and Ashton’s voice. Something had happened. Even Luke sat up from where his head had been resting in Sierra’s lap to hear what Crystal had to say.

Despite all the attention on her, Crystal’s eyes were still locked on Calum. “Alone.”

Ashton scoffed. “As if he’s not going to tell us exactly what you say three seconds after you say it.”

It was a fair statement. Calum was private about almost everything in his life - except when it came to his best friends. And most of them were in the room at the moment. Crystal’s eyes searched Calum’s as if looking for approval. Calum merely shrugged. He and Crystal lead such separate lives that he couldn’t imagine anything she’d have to say being something Luke, Sierra, Michael and Ashton didn’t already know.

“Do you remember a girl named Beth?”

It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that he remembered the one thing Luke, Sierra, Michael and Ashton didn’t know. His mind swam with a million reasons why he would be hearing her name again after all these years.

Calum saw Ashton open his mouth, no doubt to say that they didn’t know a Beth. Before he could speak, however, Calum uttered, “Yes.”

“What?” Ashton said in a bought of incredulity. “I’ve literally never heard you mention a Beth.”

“We had a one night stand like three years ago,” Calum revealed with a dismissive wave. The light air about him did nothing to quell the worried feeling budding in the pit of his stomach. “Crystal why are you bringing her up now?”

Crystal spoke slowly as if she was afraid her next words would startle Calum. “Because she’s back in LA. Because she says she’s looking for you.”

At her final words, Calum could feel all the air get caught in his throat. “And because she’s walking around with a two year old that looks an awful lot like you.”

.

.

.

The Next Day (May 2018)

The next time he saw Beth, he marked little differences between her then and when they were eighteen. Curly shoulder length hair was tucked behind her ear, and he couldn’t remember if it was that same auburn color the first time he had met her. He didn’t spend long noting the deep brown eyes or perfectly shaped cupids bow that had flitted around in his memory throughout the years. He couldn’t really because his eyes were drawn to something else.

To someone else.

Standing with a tiny hand slotted firmly into her mother’s was Lennon. Even if Calum hadn’t looked into a mirror almost every day of his short 22 year old life, he would have recognized those eyes, the round cheeks, and prominent chin anywhere. They were his family traits now unmistakably carried on in Lennon. Curly hair was bundled into two small buns atop her head, and the hand that wasn’t in her mother’s drank juice from a pink sippy cup.

She eyed Calum wearily, as if unsure whether he could be trusted. Calum looked to Beth for permission, and when she shrugged, he stooped to be face to face with his daughter.

“Hi,” he tried, gently.

She moved closer to her mother’s side and didn’t even remove her sippy cup before mumbling, “Hello.”

“She’s shy with people she doesn’t know,” Beth said by way of explanation. Calum tried to ignore the way his heart squeezed at the fact that he was a stranger to his own daughter.

They met in a park at Beth’s insistence. It was the smaller of two in the gated community he lived in, but it had plenty of space for Lennon to play while he and Beth talked privately.

“You must hate me.”

These were the first words Beth said to him after getting Lennon situated in a sandbox. The way she ungraciously fell on the bench next to him brought him back to the moment they met. There was never really anything poised or deliberate about her. He had liked that.

Calum sighed, considering her words carefully. “I don’t hate you.”

It had been almost 24 hours since Calum had learned about his daughter, and he had thought of little else since. He didn’t hate Beth, but he wasn’t sure how to feel either.

“I’m sorry,” She continued on as if Calum had confirmed his ‘hate.’ “I know there’s no version of this where I come out looking favorable. Either I ruined your life by causing you to miss the first two years of your daughter’s life, or I’m ruining it now by bringing an unwanted child into the mix.”

It was a good point. Calum didn’t like that for the first time in his life Hood brown eyes had stared back at him untrusting. At the same time, he wasn’t sure if he would have been ready for a child at 19. Or if he was ready for a child now.

He steered the conversation in a different direction. “I have questions.”

Beth sighed as if those very words were the last thing she wanted to hear. She leaned forward, bringing both elbows to her thighs. Her small hands pushed at the curls gathered next to her ear, and after a moment she said, “Okay. What do you want to know?”

Everything.

But Calum didn’t go with his instinctual response. Instead, he poked at the one thing that had been niggling him all these years. “I texted you.”

After a brief moment of contemplation, she suggested, “Perhaps I should tell you the story from the beginning, and you can ask questions at the end.”

Calum’s eyes briefly left the nervous twitch of her leg and moved over to where his daughter used a plastic shovel to scoop sand into a pail. He was sure this would be a long story. Relaxing back a little into the bench, he said, “Okay. Go ahead.”

“You should know that I went to Crystal’s party with every intention to hook up with a guy I would never see again.”

Calum couldn’t help the low hiss he expelled as he thought back to how he had wanted nothing more but to see her again.

“That explains the unanswered text.”  

She nodded sharply, agreeing. “I didn’t think that we’d have so much fun together. I thought I’d saddle up to you, pretend to blow my popsicle, then get to blow you and be on my way.” She said it with a bitter laugh. “It was my first time ever doing something like that too - having a one night stand with a stranger I’d never met. Figures it would be just my luck that I’d end up pregnant from it.”

“But where’d you go? I went to so many of Crystal’s stupid parties after that, and I never saw you.”

When her brown eyes met his, he remembered he was supposed to keep his questions until the end.

“I’m not very good at telling the story, am I?” She asked with a very rueful smile. It was as if there was something at the beginning of the story that made it hard to tell. Eventually, she spat it out. “When you met me Calum, my mother had just died.”

Calum sucked in a breath. He had a feeling it would be something bad.

“She was sick for a while, so I had to drop out of college to take care of her. Then she died, and I was alone. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I had a terrible job and an ungrateful boss and a year’s worth of crippling debt from medical expenses I couldn’t help to pay off. That’s why when my dad’s cousin showed up at my mother’s funeral and invited me to move in with her in New York, it felt like a blessing.”

The way she spat the words suggested it was just the opposite. But she didn’t follow that train of thought. Instead, she went back to the night of the party. “I just wanted to spend one night having the quintessential college experience I knew I never would. I wanted to get drunk, party, and hook up with a guy. Crystal had a lot of friends in the UCLA art department, so I had been to her parties before. When I got invited to this one, it felt like a godsend.” She met his eyes purposefully. “You felt like a godsend. Plus, you’re a celebrity. And by some miracle, you were interested in me. I had heard rumors that one-night stands were kind of your M.O., so I went for it.”

Calum wanted to interrupt her, indignant at the rumors about his sex life, but he held his tongue.

“Then you know what happened next,” She continued. “I never expected to have so much fun with you. Why couldn’t you be the vapid, egotistical bassist I was expecting you to be?”

He chuckled and shot her a wry smile. “I’ll try harder from now on.”

Soft hands found his, squeezing gently. It was a gesture of gratefulness, no doubt for the way he had patiently sat, listening to her story, no trace of resentment on his face. Unthinking, Calum laced his long fingers through hers, smiling when she didn’t pull away.

“I went back to New York the next day. I didn’t realize I was pregnant for a while. I had missed periods before because of stress, and for three long months, I thought the stress of adapting to my new life in New York, a new life without my mother, were the root of my problems. I was three and a half months in before I went to go see my gynecologist.”

Calum had to ask a question then. “Why didn’t you call me?” Purposefully, he kept his voice gentle.

Her tone was fraught with distress when she responded. “Calum, I was a college dropout with thousands of dollars in medical expenses when I met you, a newly rich bassist with more than enough money to solve my problems. Then, when the condom tore, I somehow forgot my fucking IUD had expired and insisted I didn’t need Plan B. You don’t think I thought of calling you? I have thought about reaching out to you every day for the past three years. But, I couldn’t help but wonder how that would look to you. I worried you would see this as some elaborate plan to swindle you out of your money.”

He wanted to tell her that he would never do something like that, but remembered the way Ashton had sneered, “She’s probably lying.” When they had finally gotten the full story from him and Crystal.

“Plus, that night. . .”

There’s no need for her to finish. The moment flashes before him, the memory of their words clear in his mind’s eye.

“Sometimes I think I want to have a whole brood of children. I really hated being an only child.”

Beth was laughing before she had even finished talking. Calum’s sour expression gave away just how turned off he was to that idea.

“What?” she began, gesturing to the crinkle of his nose. “I’m guessing you’re not a fan of children?”

She stuck the popsicle back between her lips and waited for his response.  “Yeah, I don’t think I want kids.” He grumbled. “I can’t imagine myself with kids. Not now and probably not ever.”

In the present, they sat and watched the inconceivable jump around and play in the park. They were still holding hands. Both were seated with their faces forward; however, neither of their eyes strayed far from Lennon as the conversation wore on.

She had done a good job of navigating through her past. A part of Calum knew that he should be angry. Whether it was at Beth or the circumstances, he wasn’t sure. Even so, most of what he felt was regret, and the guilt-inducing thought that he wouldn’t have done anything differently. He wished Beth never went through all that pain, but he was a different person at 19. Teenage Calum could not handle a child. 22 year old Calum, however? His time traveling around the world with the boys had instilled a need for a family. Someone to come home to. A knowledge that his community extended beyond his friends and their girlfriends.

There was one more question, one that he had to ask before he and Beth found a way to step into their future.

“Why now?”

He wasn’t expecting her to break down and cry.

.

.

.

Present Day

The patter of tiny feet on their hardwood floor was enough to draw Calum from his slumber. Knowing his three year old, she probably thought she was being sneaky. But, everything from the creak of the door to her high pitched giggles and the aforementioned heavy footfalls gave her away. Calum pretended to be asleep anyway. One day her childlike innocence would give way beneath the harsh realities of life, but Calum wanted to keep that at bay for as long as possible.

There was a sharp tug against the sheet tangled around his waist as his daughter tried to climb into bed with him. The first time she had done it, it just about gave Beth a heart attack. The very next day, they had gone out and purchased a toddler friendly, easily climbable bed.

Beth.

The bed was noticeably void of the warm body he usually woke up next to. This was unusual, as Beth was even less of a morning person than he was. But, today was a year anniversary of the day he and Beth re-met. A few days earlier was the anniversary of –

Calum had a hard time even thinking about it. In the year that followed, what Beth said that day through tears and gritted teeth often haunted him. If he were more prone to anger, perhaps he would have flown out to New York and saw that the people who wronged her were brought to justice. But Beth had enough forgiveness for the both of them. (And, as she often reminded him, the law wasn’t usually on the side of people like her.)

He was jerked from reminiscing on their past when his daughter landed squarely on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

“Lennon,” he groaned. The worst thing about having a toddler? She was always kicking him or kneeing him in some way with her unrestrained motions.

“Oops, sorry daddy.” She still struggled to pronounce her R sounds, so it came out more as “Sowwy.”

Calum might have been mad if she wasn’t so cute. When he finally opened his eyes, he was met with familiar brown ones staring right back at him. She was sat on his stomach clutching her favorite stuffed chameleon Miti (pronounced Mighty) to her chest. The chameleon was named after her favorite hair color changing uncle who, up until the time she was three, was also dubbed “Mi-ti.” Mikey was glad once that phase was over and jokes about his strength, or lack thereof, came to an end. (Unfortunately, Ashton still had to endure being called “Unka Ass” much to the amusement of everyone but him.)

“Hey, where’s your mommy, huh?”

Calum brought a finger up to poke at her side, smiling as she giggled and squirmed away from it. When she didn’t answer, he worked her other side. Then again and again until he had to sit up, repositioning her in his lap, giddy at the sight of his daughter squirming and laughing at the movements of his fingers.

Eventually, her giggles turned to squeals intermixed with pleas of “Daddy, no!”

He gave in. His long fingers paused as he brought Lennon up to his chest, cradling her as he placed kisses around her face.

“Let’s go find your mom, huh?” He asked but didn’t wait for an answer before standing up with her in his arms and making his way to the kitchen.

“Beth?” He called her name a few times but was only answered once with a bark from Duke. He smiled as the small dog came into view. From his arms, Lennon smiled down at the rescue, waving the hand that wasn’t clutching her chameleon. The dog barked in response to her hello.

Eventually, Duke, Calum, and Lennon found Beth outside, standing on their deck.

“Mommy!” Lennon called out. As soon as Beth turned to face them, it was apparent that she had been standing out there crying. Calum placed his squirming daughter on the floor so she could rush to her mother’s side. A lot of things had changed in the past year. One thing that hadn’t was how protective Lennon was of her mother.

Beth reached down to pick their daughter up. Settling her firmly on her hip, Beth pressed a kiss to Lennon’s hair.

“Mommy, you’re crying.”

Beth laughed at their daughter’s astute observational skills. Then, she took in the twin looks of worry on Calum and Lennon’s face.

“I’m fine,” she promised.

Calum took a few steps closer. He reached his hand up slowly, then wiped at her tear stained cheeks.

“They’re tears of joy, Calum.” She assured. “One year ago, you saved me. And I was just so overwhelmed by my love and gratitude that I started crying.”

Calum wasn’t sure if he would call what he did saving. A couple years after Beth moved back east, her cousin's husband had stumbled home in the middle of the day, drunk out of his mind. He had pulled Beth from where she was sitting next to her sleeping daughter and into his bedroom. Then, he had proceeded to do unthinkable things to Beth with her daughter just down the hall.

Beth had always been built on pride and self-reliance. These were instilled in her from years of watching her mother take care of the two of them all on her own. Beth had been lured to the east coast with the promise of a family - someone to take care of her so that for once she could give up control. Not once had Beth imagined that the family she had spent most of her adolescent life dreaming of would abuse her.

Calum didn’t like thinking about it, but he knew that if Beth didn’t have Lennon, she might have stayed. It was easy for her mind to confuse giving due thanks and allowing someone to take more than what they were owed. But In the aftermath, two year old Lennon had sleepily stumbled into the room, only to find her mother strewn out and crying on the bed. Beth had only needed to take one look into her daughter’s eyes to know what needed to be done.

She had bought a ticket for California the very next day. On the park bench that day, Beth had said between sobs, “Don’t worry about me. I just want my baby to be happy. Will you take care of her, please?”

Instead, Calum had asked them both to stay. To be honest, he hadn’t been sure what would happen next. For a while, they were nothing more than two people sharing the same space and a child. Sometime between then and a year later, they became something more. Calum hadn’t realized how lonely he had been until Beth and Lennon found him. And Beth hadn’t known how to put her trust and love into someone who would not abuse it.

“We saved each other,” Calum whispered, bringing his thoughts back to the present moment in front of him.

“We love you, Mommy,” Lennon said sagely before leaning her head on her mother’s shoulder. Calum wrapped his arms around them both, placing his cheek on Beth’s hair. He realized suddenly that he had never been as happy as he was in that moment, his love and his daughter in his arms.

-- 

Part 2

let me know what you think of calum, lennon & beth! love yall! 

tag list: @5sosnsfw / @bloodmoonashton / @lukescaboose / @5sex-of-summa / @deviantnines / @halcyonnhood / @gh0st-0f-y0u-95 / @aspiringwildfire / @cal-pal-cuddles / @hotmessmichael / @hereforlukescruff/ @softforcal / @ohhmuke / @fratcalum / @calumamongmen / @ashtonandcalslefthand / @asht0ns-world / @colorful-queen-of-the-roses / @heavenlydrarry / @slowlyelectronictragedy / @myemptywallets / @pagesuponstpages / @fallfrxmgrace / @thefireisgone / @michaelorwhat / @dammitbands / @sugarcoated-pain / @sublimehood / @cal-puddies / @singt0mecalum / @irwinkitten / @myloverboyash