#lucius trying to be a good dad

[daddiesdrarryy]

Lucius: Draco, I know we didn't go over this particular type of partnering when we had the talk, which is on me for making assumptions. But since you’re dating Harry Potter, I feel like I need to say it.

Draco: Okay…

Lucius: I just want to make sure you know you need to cast protection charm if you’re having anal intercourse with him.

Draco: Oh, my god!

Lucius: And we can—we can talk about other kind of charms you need to know, and…and if you’re bottoming, then you need to prepare yourself with cleaning charms. I—I heard there are adult toys too, and be careful when you do those activities—

Draco: You are ridiculous! I cannot believe you’re giving me the talk, Father! Stop talking about toys!

Lucius: It’s not that bad, son! When I was your age, I did all sorts of experiments—

Draco: I am leaving!

Narcissa: Stop scaring your son, Lucius.

[miryum]

An arranged marriage with James Potter

Something had happened over the summer that made James Potter the most love-sick fool in all of Hogwarts. Purebloods being purebloods, it wasn’t uncommon for children to be paired up early on to secure the bloodline. While this happened mostly between the old-arching Slytherin families, an example being Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, every once in a while, the other houses would participate too. 

Such was the case with James Potter and Y/n L/n. The L/n’s had spanned generations, stretching back to even the Gaunt’s time. But, such as the Gaunt family, the L/n family had run into some bad luck. Stocks didn’t go the way they wanted or something of the sort and now they were in ruining trouble. 

Euphemia Potter was usually one to scoff at arranged marriages, wanting the children to find love for themselves, blood status be damned. However, the L/n’s were good friends of hers and James had written home multiple times about their daughter. From his letters, it seemed as if the two were already dating. It was a perfect coincidence. Euphemia and Fleamont agreed instantly, lifting the weight of a thousand bricks off of the patriarch of the L/n household. 

However, James and Y/n were not dating. Much to James’ annoyance, the only thing between them was his unrequited infatuation towards Y/n. 

So that’s where the pair found themselves at the beginning of seventh year. Y/n L/n trying to fly under the radar and not draw any attention to herself or the new ring on her finger, and James Potter doing everything in his power to show off their relationship and spoil her in front of everyone. 

It began at the start of the year feast. James had an arm around Y/n’s shoulder the entire time. When a third year nervously asked if the two were dating, staring reverently up at James, the boy grinned and looked to Y/n. “I don’t know, love, are we?”

Y/n pushed James’ arm off her shoulder and indelicately said, “no. Take him.” The third year blushed and mumbled their way out of the conversation as James clutched his wounded heart.

During classes, James would loudly correct the professors from Miss. L/n to Mrs. Potter. It earned him wry smiles from McGonagall and Sprout, chuckles from Slughorn and Flitwick, and a cold glare from Y/n. The students all looked a bit confused whenever this happened, but chalked it up to the usual antics of James Potter. 

In the courtyard or by the Black Lake, James would lay his head on Y/n’s lap, even if she pushed him off or was sitting with her knees up. There were roses on her bed and notes in her bag and it got to the point where Y/n didn’t even question how James had snuck into her dorm. 

If Y/n ever went to Hogsmead, James was sure to follow. No matter what she bought, he would pay for. Even if she got frustrated, he would slip the galleons up onto the counter, grinning at the cashier. He wanted to show her that he could provide for her and give her a nice home. As she would walk from shop to shop, he would point out colours of shops, saying, “oh, that would be a good colour for our bathroom. Look at that little cuckoo clock! Y/n, we have to get it.”

He would follow wherever she went, asking what seemed like meaningless questions. Have you ever had any pets? Do you like the country or city better? Any aspirations for your career? What’s a place you always wanted to visit? Y/n thought nothing of it, but to James, her answers were slowly sculpting his future. Would she want a dog or a cat in our home? Where should our house be? I would like the country so our kids could run around more, but we can easily make the city work if she wants. Should I be a stay-at-home dad? Or could we juggle two careers? Where should our honeymoon be? 

Quidditch games were no better, because after every goal the chaser scored – and he scored a lot – he would look to the stands, find his fiancée, and blow her a kiss. Before every match, one of his spare jerseys would be laid out on her bed, a small note attached, begging her to wear it. She never did and he always gave her a pout when he realised it. And God forbid she didn’t go to the games. Once, she had been studying for an upcoming exam and hadn’t been able to make it. James had thrown a fit. Sirius had to drag him away from Madame Hooch before he secured an entire year of detention, but the boy still refused to get in the air. Madame Hooch threatened to start the game and make Gryffindor play a catcher down, but thankfully Remus and Peter had just found Y/n and dragged her to the pitch. The moment James saw her, he beamed and kicked off, broom now in the air. They had ended up winning. James spent the afterparty with his head on Y/n’s lap, arms reaching up to encircle her waist. He continuously reminded her how awful it would’ve been if she hadn’t shown up and only shut up when she began running her fingers through his hair.

And every night, no matter if he went to bed first or she did, James would always go over to Y/n and give her a soft kiss on the forehead and a whispered, “sweet dreams.” No matter where she was, this became a daily occurance in Y/n’s life. At first, she tried to avoid it by sneaking off to the library whenever James began yawning and tossing around the idea of going to bed. But he would find her. She tried the kitchens, hoping he didn’t think to look for her there. But he would find her. She tried being in a group with her friends, in animated conversations. But he would weave his way through the group, step in front of her, and still say goodnight. It was like he had this magical map that told him where she was at all times. It was bloody infuriating. 

Much to James’ dismay, no progress seemed to be made. At least she was staying faithful to her fiancé, the Marauders reassured him as James griped and moaned. He would sling himself onto a common room chair, conveniently in the earshot of his dearest. Y/n would just roll her eyes. 

The majority of Hogwarts didn’t know what to do with them. The girls would swoon when they heard the new thing James Potter had come up with to woo Y/n L/n. The boys would huff and grumble about needing to step up their own game when it came to their girlfriends. James was setting the bar too high. The teachers would sit around, taking time to sip a well-deserved drink, as they complained how if L/n didn’t soon see the boy that was right in front of her, helpless to his love, then Potter was going to have a breakdown.

Yet, Y/n continued to push him away. James could be patient. He had been waiting practically seven years – he could wait a little more, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt whenever she brushed him off. She could’ve said no to the engagement. She could’ve punched or hexed him. It didn’t seem like she truly hated him, more like she was embarrassed and tired of him. 

“I don’t get it,” James said finally one night. He laid out on his bed, long limbs stretching over the place as Peter and Sirius played Exploding Snap on the floor. 

Remus was reading on his own bed. The werewolf sighed, knowing where this was going. “What don’t you get, Prongs?” 

“Why doesn’t Y/n like me?” James murmured, looking at his friends with large, hurt eyes. 

“Mate,” Sirius said. One of the cards exploded, making Peter flinch. “Listen. She likes you, yeah? How else are you able to get close to her? I swear, you were practically on top of her a couple days ago.” He scoffed and laid down a card. 

James groaned loudly and exclaimed, “but I’ve tried everything! Hell, we’re literally engaged! I can’t go through an entire marriage like this. Especially not with the woman I love.”

Peter piped up, smiling sincerely at James. “Hey, I’m sure she’ll realise it soon enough. I think she loves you back. She’s just scared.”

“But I’m me!” James shouted out. “I’m not scary!” He looked around wildly at his friends. “Am I?” he asked pathetically.

“I think if you have to ask if you’re scary,” Remus pointed out, “then you’re not scary.”

Sirius grinned. “Excellent point, as always, Moony.”

Remus sighed and gave James a pointed look. “Perhaps, the best thing to do is talk to her. Since she is your future wife, after all.” 

“I do talk to her!” James argued. “I ask her about her day and tell her about our pranks. She- she responds. She’s very sweet, you know, but she never shows any affection.”

“Maybe you’re pressuring her,” Peter commented. “By being all lovey-dovey. You could try being her friend first?”

James didn’t think he could do that. He already thought of Y/n as his wife. He already thought of her as one of his best friends. But what else could he do to get her to feel the same way?

The next week, James took Peter’s words into consideration. Instead of leaving flowers in her dorm, James asked if he could join her in the library for a study session. Instead of blowing her kisses during Quidditch games, he just waved. Instead of envisioning their future, he focused on the present. 

It wasn’t until three weeks had passed that James noticed the results. Y/n began coming to him with some questions on schoolwork. Y/n waved back at Quidditch games, shooting him a thumbs up in encouragement. Y/n wouldn’t fiddle with her engagement ring nervously, as if worried someone would spot it. 

The girl noticed her changed behaviour too. On a random Thursday, when James came to kiss her goodnight, she paused her conversation and whispered back, “sleep well,” angling her body so he wouldn’t have to reach as far to kiss her temple. Soon after, she excused herself from her friends, flustered. Y/n paced around her dorm, twisting the ring back and forth. 

A knock came at the door. “Hey,” James murmured as he pushed open the door. “Are you okay?”

Y/n turned to face him. “You actually care about me, don’t you?” she whispered. 

James couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course,” he replied. “Why on earth would you think otherwise?”

She shrugged. “It seemed fake, you know? Like this one big prank to single me out. But then you actually seemed excited and willing to marry me, James. Marriage. This is the rest of our lives and we haven’t even kissed!”

James cracked a smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can fix that really easily.”

“But you think you’re in this for the long run?” Y/n asked desperately. “For- for the fights? The late nights? The chores? And we haven’t even talked if we want kids or not!”

“Love,” he interrupted her spiral. “Have you thought about the waking up every morning in my arms? The dancing in the kitchen for no reason? The anniversary dinners where I profess my love over and over again?” He stepped forward, placing his warm hands on her arms soothingly. “And if you want, I would love to have mini replicas of us running around, waking us up in the middle of the night because of a night terror. I would love for them to disrupt our dancing in the kitchen by demanding they want to dance too. And I would love for them to groan when they see me being all sappy towards my wife.”

How could any girl say no when James Potter was standing before her, promising her endless devotion? The kiss was slow, James’ lips slowly moving against hers. He revelled in the warmth of her body and how her head tilted to him as he cupped her cheek gently. All short and lovely and sweet, the kisses were exactly how James had dreamed. 

The couple parted and the boy stared down at her. His finger went up to brush her bottom lip before murmuring, “will you marry me?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

[yanmuffins]

Unfortunately with the p & f reader. I think you’re missing out so much hijinks.

For example:

- luthor thinking reader is his kid and petitioning a paternity test to try and take custody

-or giving a full scholarship to said reader and internship at LuthorCorp

-the league of assassins coming after reader when everyone is out of the house and reader casually home alone-ing their way to safety. (Damian knew, still has no evidence, has no idea what reader did with the bodies)

-reader building a complete android copy of Alfred so he can go on vacation and have help around the house

-_doing the same to Damian for mild psychological warfare. (He started it)_

-improving the bat gadgets because reader is annoyed when they don’t work as well, and gaslighting the family into thinking Lucius Fox did it

-reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets.

-winning back to back science fairs, being shown in magazines, and has scholarships galore but the family still doesn’t notice. (Much to Alfred and Damian’s rage)

-it taking Damian being nice to her and trying to be a good sibling to actually get the rest of the family’s attention and to reveal her semi secret genius.

this is brilliant!! all of this!!! love how this leans a bit more into the malicious p&f! reader version rather than oblivious one. few things i want to comment:

i cannot even imagine (i can, actually) how bruce would react to lex luthor just waltzing in and saying hey. what if we, high-profile CEOs of huge companies, go to court over the paternity and custody of your child who i think might be mine? that's absolutely not going to be a media scandal :)

this implies either that:

1) lex luthor has fucked p&f! reader's mother

2) p&f! reader's mother has fucked both lex luthor and bruce wayne. who is she.

or

3) lex luthor is aware he cannot be p&f! reader's bio dad but just decided he wanted to try and steal bruce wayne's kid one day because of their brilliance and potential, and that's such a petty?? absurd thing to do just because???

but unfortunately for luthor (and any other villains), p&f! reader is a nepobaby who can very well work in their father's company if they want or need an internship and that's where bruce is sending them. no such thing as "i want to make my own way in the world" for p&f! reader in this one. bruce will not let them work anywhere else.

(on another note, it's so fun writing about a reader who is filthy rich for a change. a villain comes up to them offering full scholarships and a promising internship in their evil companies but like. their father is literally bruce wayne.)

and like. still on the paternity drama thing. lex luthor can always handle that privately, but why would he? and something like that wouldn't stay under wraps, tbh. lex luthor better sleep with one eye open from then on, he might find wayne enterprises has acquired a sudden interest in absorbing lexcorp…

i think i've answered an ask regarding the league of assassins? not sure, but a "home alone" setting for neglected! reader would make such a good one-shot fic in general (christmas is just around the corner too!). i don't think p&f! reader would kill anyone but they would sure know to defend themselves and immobilize any threats through their gadgets and last-minute traps.

there's two possibilities as to how this could end,

1) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor in complete disarray and a bunch of unconscious bodies piled up on the garage with p&f! reader just standing there, unphased.

2) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor just the way they left it, perhaps even a bit more tidy. there's no bodies, the footage has been deleted, damian knows the league of assassins has been in the manor but once again, cannot prove it. he's fuming but has a newfound respect for their blood sibling. roll credits.

realistically, they would be made aware of people raiding the house through its security system and come back running, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's p&f! reader we're talking about here.

as for the gadgets, i can imagine p&f! reader finding out or figuring out their family are vigilantes except the batfam doesn't know they know, and so they come and go the batcave when no one is looking. improves the gadgets out of pure boredom and leaves. except they do it in a way that is so subtle that the batfam take a certain time to consider there's someone messing with their stuff. it's like that one prank where you just keep replacing a person's pen before it runs out of ink.

"reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets."

that's essentialy pet sematary by stephen king, and we all know how that went. evil little undead pets running around the manor trying to murder the batfam because... p&f! reader was feeling bored and unhinged, i suppose.

you're right about damian being one of the reasons why the batfam starts paying attention to p&f! reader. alfred has been trying to get them to notice their cast-aside sibling for a while now, but damian being close to reader (trying to bust them or just hanging out) makes it impossible to ignore them. first, by associating with damian, and second by being a gifted child who has been pulling dangerous, insane and impossible stunts that deny all logic.

but looking back, it should be obvious. their room is filled with trophies, medals, rosettes, newspaper/magazine cutouts speaking of their achievements, were featured on the metropolis as well as gotham news multiple times, and pretty much everyone seems to know what they're up to. and yeah. "they feel pretty bad" is an understatement.

damian noticed, though. he might gotten into trouble himself for participating in some of those stunts (which he thinks is unfair), but at least he can brag about being a decent sibling and triumphantly say "shame on you" to everyone else but alfred.

[sanguineterrain]

hi sanne!!! my mind has been rotting with assistant!reader x dick, and i literally can’t get it out 😭. i'm in love with your writing and reblog everything! thank you so much, have a great day!!

cute idea! I gave it a little twist ;) hope u enjoy!

dick grayson x gn!assistant!reader. flirting, secret identities, sparring.

****

Bruce Wayne is evasive on a good day and downright invisible on a bad one.

So when you see him down the hallway from his office, attempting to escape without being caught, you nearly trip on your feet trying to catch him.

"Mr. Wayne!"

His shoulders rise with tension. You pity the guy, you really do. Being a gazillionaire is tough.

"Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne, Sharon has been hounding me about the charity dinner. Please, if you could just go to this one dinner... you haven't been to an event all month."

And you're getting the brunt of it from all of WE's clients.

Bruce turns, his smile looking more like a grimace. "Hn. Hello. A dinner? I was sure I had a shareholder meeting that day—"

"All month? B, what happened to the two event minimum? That's your rule."

The new voice comes from behind you. Dick Grayson walks down the hallway, wearing jeans that probably cost as much as your monthly rent.

"Mr. Grayson," you say, nodding primly. "How are you?"

You shift the files in your hands as they start to slip. Dick is quick to catch them, balancing the stack.

"We've been through this," he says with a smile. "You know you can call me Dick."

Yes, you've been through this. Every time Dick shows up to Wayne Enterprises, he tells you to call him by his first name. And every time after that, you call him Mr. Grayson.

"Right..." you say, taking back the files. You turn to Bruce. "Mr. Wayne, if you would just consider the dinner..."

Dick gives Bruce a severe look. "B, this is ridiculous. You're such a stickler for rules and yet—"

"Oh, look at the time." Bruce scoots past you and Dick. "I've got that meeting with Lucius. Where does the day go? Please tell Sharon I'll get back to her."

You can't understand how a guy whose biggest exertion is made by playing tennis at the country club can slip through your fingers so fast. He's around the corner before you can blink. You sigh.

"Don't worry," Dick says. "I'll get him to go. And I'll get one of my siblings to tag along to make sure he doesn't duck out early."

You smile briefly. "I'd appreciate that, Mr. Grayson."

"Dick. So!" He trails behind you as you make your way back to your office. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Working."

"O-kay..." Dick jogs ahead to hold the door open for you. You push through, trying not to frown. "What about tomorrow night?"

You toss your scarf on the hook. It ends up on the floor. You ignore it.

"Still working."

"How 'bout I ask B to give you the day off then?"

Now it's your turn to give a severe look. "If you're implying that I'd be obligated to go out with you in return for a day off, you've completely misjudged my character, Mr. Grayson."

"Whoa, okay." He holds up his hands. "You're right, that didn't come out right. How about I get him to give you a day off, no strings attached?"

You dump your files and sit at your desk. "That's at your discretion."

"Hey." Dick leans on your desk, puppy eyes at full power. "Maybe we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Did I do something that put you off? I'd like you to tell me if I have. I hope the fact that I'm Bruce's son isn't stopping you from being honest."

You put down your pen and look at him. "Look. You seem like a nice guy, and you're handsome with a rich dad to boot. But I'm just not available, okay? You're looking for someone to go to Tahiti with. I respect that. But I'm not that person. I'm just not interested in that."

"You think I'm handsome?"

You sigh and open your laptop.

"Right! Sorry. Not the point." Dick sinks into a crouch next to you. He pulls the oddest poses sometimes, like he's made of rubber bands. "Okay. You're not looking for a trip to Tahiti. Got it. I don't take many vacations anyway. So how about having a friend?"

"And why would you want to be my friend? I'm just some assistant."

"Well, I..." Dick scratches his neck. "I like you. Is that so hard to believe?"

Very. But okay. You can throw him a bone.

"I guess not," you say.

Dick frowns. "You don't believe me."

How does he do that?

"Can I please get back to work?" you ask, only a little worried about being rude. "I'm sorry, I'm just very busy."

His face falls briefly before he stands and nods.

"Of course. No problem. I'll see you around? And I'll get B to go to that dinner."

"Thank you."

You don't notice his lingering looks, or the fact that he picks up your scarf and places it on the hook on his way out.

****

3...17...64.

The safe clicks. You smirk. Easy peasy. The hotshots always use their own birthdays for combinations. Predictable. You bet Bruce Wayne does the same.

It's a blessing that you were able to duck out early today. Bruce gave you the rest of the afternoon off. You suspect that was due to some outside meddling.

You take out the files from D.A. Colson's safe. You always say that if crooked district attorneys don't want their documents stolen, they shouldn't put them where anybody can find them.

...Maybe you were too harsh with Dick. He's sweet, no doubt. It was nice of him to get you off early. But you kind of feel like he'd take issue with the fact that you spend your weeknights breaking and entering.

"You know, cracking safes is already Catwoman's shtick," a voice says behind you. "You might wanna find a new gimmick."

A thrill shoots through you. You toss your head as you turn, leaning against the open safe.

"Catwoman steals diamonds." You hold up the documents. "I just steal files. And make a few edits."

"That's extremely illegal. Those files belong to the district attorney," Nightwing says, crossing his arms.

"The dirty district attorney," you correct.

"I'm supposed to let you off on a technicality?" He sounds amused.

Your shrug one shoulder, a little coy. "You could. I hear you're the nice one."

He laughs. Nightwing has a pretty smile. It's the first thing you'd noticed about him.

"Oh, yeah? Anything else you've heard?"

"Plenty. But I'm in a bit of a hurry tonight, Wing. As much as I enjoy our little chats..."

You dart to the window. Nightwing easily blocks your exit.

You're not quite sure what overtakes you when you run into Nightwing. Ignoring the fact that he manages to be the one to chase you almost every time (and what a chase it is), there's a tension between you. Or maybe it's just one-sided on your part. It certainly doesn't help that he's got a nice smile and bouncy hair.

"You know I can't let you go," he says, hands on his hips. "Put it down."

And he's extremely good at what he does.

"Make me," you say.

He never uses his escrima sticks, which you know is a courtesy to you. But that doesn't mean you can't hold your own.

"Alright," Nightwing says, smirking slightly.

He takes three steps, blocks your immediate kick, and takes the documents.

Something swoops in your belly. You kind of get why Catwoman exclusively fights Batman. Once you go bat, you never go back.

"Got them," he says cheerily. "Now what?"

You throw a glass bird tchotchke at him from Colson's desk. He catches it with his free hand, but it's enough of a distraction for you to slide into his legs. Nightwing stumbles less than you would like, but you push him down against the desk.

He grunts as he hits the wood, then rolls you over in the next breath, hands catching your wrists.

"Stealing... makes you no better... than Colson," he says, hair falling over his mask. All of him is pretty, really. It's too bad he's so firmly on the blind side of justice. You're trying to help the little people. Batman and his merry band of do-gooders have always been too focused on the big picture.

"If these documents are buried, Colson will win his case and hide his own crimes in the process. Is that what you want? Another crook in court?" you ask.

Nightwing frowns. "You know that's not fair. We can't falsify evidence for the sake of putting Colson behind bars. IF we pick and choose whose lives to play with, what gives us the right to carry out justice?"

"I dunno, Wing," you say, a little breathless. Nightwing's hips are politely shifted off of yours, chest to yours. "Seeing you go rogue would be kind of exciting."

You can tell he's glaring at you. "Not in your dreams."

"Been in my dreams, have you?"

You gain enough leverage to push Nightwing off of you. He's back on you immediately, trapping you against the wall.

"How is doing something like this not crooked?" he asks.

You scoff. "It's for charity. I'm donating residents to the county jail."

You twist in Nightwing's hold and land a kick. In the three seconds he's distracted, you grab the documents. No sooner do you do that does Nightwing tackle you. The documents slip out of your hand.

"I can do this all night," he says, knee wedged between your legs. "Might as well yield."

"Yield? You're not even playing at your full strength, hotshot."

He smiles. "No, I'm playing nice."

You roll your eyes. "Well, play fair."

And then you jump out of the window.

Your tuck and roll isn't the worst but it's not the best. Especially when Nightwing neatly lands a few feet away without a wince.

"Showoff," you say.

"Give me the documents," he says. "I want to put Colson away, too. But this isn't how to do it. He's still a civilian, and his clients' lives matter."

You get up and wobble on a loose brick on the edge. Stupid historical buildings.

You're desperate. If he keeps this up, you're bound to land yourself a night in the police station and lose the documents.

So you dust yourself off. And you stop. Right at the edge of the roof.

"Okay," you say.

Nightwing takes a careful step forward. "Okay?"

You toss the documents to him. He catches them in surprise.

"You're surrendering?" he asks.

You shrug. "Like you said: you can do this all night. And I guess there are better ways to catch Colson. More permanent ways."

He tilts his head. "You're not gonna kill him, are you?"

"No! Jesus, man. Ye of little faith."

"I'm just trying to understand why you surrendered."

You sigh. "Because you always win anyway. You're a better fighter than me. And I'm cornered. I just feel like cutting my losses early. You're a lot more convincing than Batman."

"Is that so?"

"Oh, yeah. I much prefer you chasing me."

"Uh-huh." He nods towards the building. "Come on, then."

"Okay, sure."

You take a step. And you fall.

The brick is loose under your foot. It doesn't take much for you to keep going.

Panic surges through you, but that only solidifies your acting.

"Wing!" you cry, toppling over the edge.

"Shit!"

Nightwing lunges and grabs you by your waist, then uses momentum to haul you both to safety. His cheek against yours for a moment, body pressed to yours. It really is a damn shame he's such a Boy Scout.

You knock him in the stomach and snatch the documents, then separate from his grip. You watch his face contort in realization as you land and bolt.

"That wasn't playing nice or fair!" he yells, landing on the opposite side.

You're already gone, laughter echoing.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've been thinking about how Ed starts directly killing people in s2e8. I've seen a lot of worry that this is tragic, that it's Ed falling back into a life he hates with more vigor, and I don't think it's meant to be understood that way at all.

I think it's a triumph.

One thing we absolutely have to understand: there has never been a time on the show when Ed wasn't killing people. That's true for all characters; this is a show about pirates. Even in s1, Ed was leading successful raids and ordering racists skinned. In a realistic sense, nothing has changed.

The difference is in how Ed does not need to construct intricate ways to distance himself from it anymore.

We know that Ed's first time killing was his abusive dad, an event that deeply traumatized him, and it left him thinking himself an absolute monster. His own capacity for violence disgusts and terrifies him, and even though he's been very successful in a very violent career, he needed to distance himself from killing people ("the fire killed those guys, not me") to avoid confronting this part of himself. He believes that the part of himself that is so capable of violence is irredeemable, a monster, unworthy of love.

Even at the start of the season, when Ed is in a self-destructive spiral, it's debateable if he's directly killing anyone. If Lucius had died, he'd probably have said the sea did it, not him. The guy we see him shoot during the raid sequence already had a knife through his chest - it's a step up, and surely meant to be understood as self-harm more than anything else, but that's still a mercy kill, if anything.

Compare to the finale of season 2. These are direct kills, there is no way to argue that Ed is not responsible. It is not debateable that Ed killed all those British officers.

A lot of the worry I've seen around this concern how Ed is going back to what he's good at (as Pop-Pop told him to), and there's an asusmption that that is killing people/violence. But that's not true, is it? Ed's never been good at killing people, his hangups around directly killing are a known character trait. So...what is Ed good at?

Think about how the scene plays out. Ed sees the Republic burning; he can only assume Stede is either captured, wounded, or dead. He's horrified and dazed, his ears ring - he kills the two British soldiers who happen upon him, he decided to fish up his Blackbeard outfit.

What is Ed actually good at? He's a good pirate, a good captain. He's good at keeping his crew safe, he's good at keeping Stede safe. He has to think he's either going to be embarking on a mission to get revenge or to save his boyfriend.

At first, I was very hesitant about the idea of Ed having to go back to piracy, which he says he hates. But what he was actually trying to do was drown Blackbeard, the part of himself he sees as so unworthy of love. He needed to see that Blackbeard is part of him, that he's not a monster or unloveable, that Blackbeard can help him save his friends and his boyfriend.

It's not a coincidencethat the show goes out of its way to make Ed's killing people in this episode as morally easy to accept as possible. The British officers we see are all racist and mean and unpleasant - like, damn, singing 'we shall never be slaves' while making Black characters serve them? Gross! They got what was coming to them! This is the 'racists deserve to die' show, after all.

And Ed uses this violence as a tool for love, to get him back to his boyfriend, to give them a triumphic reunion. I don't think it's a coincidence that this is when Ed tells Stede he loves him, either - he's come one step closer to accepting he's worthy of love, he's more ready to acknowledge what they have.

Ed doesn't have to feel bad about killing those officers. The show doesn't ask him to. He gets to retire while still wearing his Blackbeard outfit - Blackbeard gets to retire, not be drowned with a canonball in the ocean. And we're left with Ed, still with a lot of growing to do and a lot of self-discovery left, but he's closer to realizing that he's not a monster and that he's so deserving of love.

[spacebubblehomebase]

My Official Hazbin Hotel Stargazers AU Masterpost!

Or the #HHStargazersAU Checklist + MORE!!!

But before all that, here's the general synopsis:

Charline is introducing her first ever girlfriend, Vaggie, to her circus running dad, Lucius Magne. But unbeknownst to them, Vaggie is hiding a big secret: She's Charlie's guardian angel! Tasked with setting her on the right path towards good, but to make things more complicated, the family's live-in hire, Alastor, is actually a demon that's been trying to tempt Charlie's dad to the opposite side! So how can this unlikely pair keep their respective truths hidden when mysteries start to unfold, how do they play house while also playing tug-of-war for Heaven & Hell, and just HOW did they get in this situation in the first place? Well, one thing's for certain, family dinners will never be boring as feelings unravel and everything grand is yet to be revealed. So tune in~!

Or something like that...

So if this summary seems like your cup of tea and you happen to enjoy both Chaggie & Radioapple content, then hop on aboard! Because, let me tell you, the ride I've prepared is so convoluted, I wish I charge people for it, but it's FREE! Unfortunately, all updates usually depend on my schedule and plans for plot may always change. But this semi-serious story of mine follows a loose "artfic" format anyway. A term I use to mean: I write just as much as I draw. So this is both a fanart and a fanfic AU now basically. But everything for it can be found on Twitter, Insta, or Tumblr. I post just about almost the same things in each, so there's no need to look further for more! Though I won't protest if you ASK for more as in the end, this gigantic AU is just a personal project of mine and any support. Be it a little acknowledgement or a major gift of a comment goes a long way to fuel my motivation! Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way though, here's the links to my story and list of future posts that would be regularly updated anytime I remove or add something new!

Relevant Lore List:

Click title to be redirected to the post and some titles are [Redacted] for the sake of avoiding any spoilers...

-A New Day Will Dawn. ✅

-BONUS Interaction (& Ask). ✅

-Color Palette Reference. ✅

-Say My Name. ✅

-Divorce Aftermath (Ask). ✅

-Meet The Magnes. ✅

-The Stargazers. ✅

-Lore sneak peek. (Ask). ✅️

-Shadow Of His Light.

-His Pride.

-Her Joy.

-Close Calls.

-Surprise.

-The Dreamers.

-Phantom Pains.

-[Redacted] The [Redacted].

-[Redacted] That Day.

-A Cold Day In Hell.

-Prelude Promises.

-The Dancing Devil's Circus.

-Blossoming Feelings.

-False Start.

-The [Redacted, Redacted, Redacted].

-When A [Redacted, Redacted].

-The Last [Redacted] Lament.

-Moth To Her Flame.

-A Taste of Temptation.

-Better Than Never.

-Free Fall.

-HerStory.

-Wake Up Call.

-Seeds Of Doubt.

-Mother Knows Best.

-Fuck You, [Redacted].

-Dad Meet Mom.

-With Tax Benefits.

-Dawn Of A New Day.

-The First Stage.

-Reprise Reveal.

-B.U.S.T.E.D.

-A Third [Redacted].

-The Show Must Go On.

+++++++++++++++

Related Posts:

((Asks are answered in between updates, but due to the amount of them, I unfortunately may still miss some. But rest assured I do read them! I just can't get to everyone. TvT Very much appreciate them though!))

-AU Idea Announcement.

-Magnes Are Humans (Asks).

-AU Name Explanation (Asks).

-Author Is Delulu.

-Excited To Spoil (Asks).

-Human Carmilla Carmine.

-Radioapple Dynamic (Asks).

-Alastor's Eyes (Asks).

-Questions About Lilith (Asks).

-Outdated Sneak Peek (Asks).

-Stimming Radioapple (Asks).

-Cryprid Alastor (Asks).

-Flavor Of The AU (Asks).

-Magne Discussion (Asks).

-Artist With Chaggie (Asks).

-Hug Alastor Request (Asks).

-Vaggie UwU (Asks).

-Yep. Still doing the AU (Asks).

-Alastor's Voodoo (Asks).

-Radio Signals (Asks).

-Masterpost Suggestion (Asks).

-Future Animatic Announcement!

-Dynamics & SPOILERS!!! (Asks).

-BONUS Vaggie's "dad" (Asks).

-Radioapple + Art Advice (Asks).

-ALAKAZAM!!! (Asks).

-Update about updates (Asks).

+++++++++++++++

Other Account Links:

((Just in case you want to experience my story somewhere else you're more comfortable with!))

For Blue Sky Account, click this sentence!

For Instagram Account, click this sentence!

For Old Twitter Account, click this sentence!

((Note: I advice y'all to keep on checking the original masterpost on my page and see if it's updated as it may not show the new changes in reblogs. As for my Twitter, because of certain AI policies approved by an "egocentric piece of shit" billionaire, I moved to BlueSky for my own sanity. I hope you all understand. Thanks for reading!))

-Bubbly💙

[adickaboutspoons]

Happy sexual Sunday. In honor of Rhys announcing his upcoming substack by pointing at hand-written bulletpoints on a chalkboard with a screwdriver, I want to share the OnlyFans Stede idea that has been in my plot bunny pen for ages, but prolly isn't going to go anywhere. Stede's OF account was set up for him by Lucius, and is completely neutral content of him demonstrating basic auto maintenance and, like, how to tie a fishing lure, and a bunch of other Dad things, and he's completely oblivious to how unintentionally suggestive he's being. Like, he's filming himself working in the garden when it's super hot out, makes a "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" dad joke, strips off his shirt and uses it to mop his brow. He's on his hands and knees, pulling up weeds, and when he manages to pull up a particularly stubborn one, roots and all, kind-of-whispery/grunting-to-himself, "Aww, yeah. That's what you want, baby." Then he sits back and takes a deep drink from his water bottle, and accidentally holds it near his crotch while encouraging his watchers to stay hydrated. Ed is one of his subscribers and finds the whole thing just brain-meltingly hot. Eventually, they accidentally meet IRL, and Ed is trying to be SO COOL and not let it be known that he knows this guy and where from. And then they keep running into one another (by total coincidence - Ed hasn't become a convert to going to the farmer's market instead of just picking shit up from the grocery store on the off (likely) chance of running into Stede while he's there. Not at ALL.), and start becoming friendly. It's during one of these meetings Ed accidentally slips that he's a subscriber. He's mortified. For a moment he thinks Stede is going to get all weirded out. But Stede is just like "Oh! You like the feed? Why didn't you say so?! Always glad to meet my Only Fan!" (Stede has a v. healthy subscribership, but he thinks making the Only Fan joke is Hilarious) Stede asks for his username, and when he tells him, Stede is all "Oh! I know YOU! I can't tell you how much your feedback means to me. Always leaves me feeling all glowy for days!" Ed is all blushy and stammery and, "Uh... yeah, man. Me too." He offers Ed a hug, and Ed is internally combusting. Stede is all "If you've got any ideas for the feed, I'm always open to suggestions. Is there anything you'd like to see me doing?" There are MANY things Ed would like to see him doing. None of which are appropriate to give voice to in a crowded open-air market. Eventually eventually, after many instances where Ed is going crazy trying to figure out if it's a date or just a hang, there would be a v. thorough railing wherein Stede whispers all the tender, affirmational things Ed could ever have wished to hear. So! here's the only bit of it I've actually bothered to write:

The man on the screen smeared a little grease around the tight little hole, then inserted the cylinder into the gap in one smooth, gratifying motion. "There we are," he said, his voice a low, self-satisfied hum, "A nice, tight fit. And doesn't it feel good to do it yourself?"

Ed's breathing picked up pace a little.

"And that's how you replace a spark plug. Nothing shocking about it." He smiled a charming, little shit-eating grin and winked at the camera.

Ed's breath caught in his throat.

"So that's it for this one! Thanks, as always to my subscribers, and a special tip of the hat to this week's new friends," he looked away from the camera and put on a pair of gold wire-rimmed glasses. Ed swooned a little as he read out the names from an actual printed page.

At the end of it, he took off the glasses and looked directly into the camera again, his eyes soft and his smile genuine and kind. "Thank you for sharing this time with me. Lots of love!"

There was nothing explicitly sexual about the CapriSun_Erotica OnlyFans page. In fact, the most shocking thing about it was how roundly wholesome the content was. Just a man and his phone camera and a world of practical advice and dad jokes. An intensely hot man in the tiniest shorts or tightest jeans Ed had ever seen, who seemed allergic to doing up the top three buttons on his shirts, and that radiated so much DILF energy Ed was a little astonished the videos didn't just melt his phone screen. It was the most intensely arousing thing Ed had ever seen.

He eased himself out of his boxers and hit the replay button.

When he had cleaned himself up, he tapped out a quick reply. "Hey DaddyStede, great vid as usual. Really got my motor running. 😘"

[dotster001]

Headcanons of what if the reader accidentally called the staff members dad?

A/N: Gn! Reader. Hope this is what you're looking for, anon/hope you're still here cause I take forever on these 😂

"Azul asked me to bring you this paperwork," you said, handing him a stack of papers.

"Excellent, prefect. You've been incredibly helpful lately. In my generosity, I have decided to give you the next week off, and take you to a beach house!"

"Really? Thanks dad!"

Preens. You've made a huge mistake. Good luck to you. You will now be smothered by an overexcited crow.

He hasn't touched up his nest in a while. As headmaster he has no time to think about a family. But now that you called him dad, he is going home and touching up his nest so that his little chick will be comfy. Crow's like to keep their babies in the nest, some of them for years at a time. You're gonna have to tell him at some point that no, you will not be staying in a nest, you will be staying in Ramshackle to finish your education. (This will not stop him from subtly directing you in the direction of said nest)

He's picking at your hair, and straightening your outfit. He does that mom thing where he licks a handkerchief and tries to clean the dirt off your face. If you tell him to stop, he'll say something like, "now now, let papa help." God, I don't envy you.

He buys you shiny trinkets that have no value. But  he can't help his genetics. It's how he expresses affection.  You and Grim may trip over them sometimes, cause he just will drop them in the most random of places. (ex. The middle of the floor)

If you ever try to take it back, whether it's out of pure desperation or annoyance, he will sob. He will sob so hard. He's not trying to manipulate you. He just doesn't see what he did wrong.

He'd invited you over to dinner. 

"Yeah, I don't really have plans for the summer holiday yet, because, well, you know.."

He cut a piece of his steak, and said, "You can always stay with me. My daughter's are all grown, so they're rooms are empty. Plus they've been wanting to meet you." He gave you a soft smile, the kind of smile that made you feel safe.

"Sevens, that sounds great dad," you said with a sigh. Both of you froze.

He already knew you felt that way about him. But having you say it out loud fills him with fatherly pride.  It's been a while since his kids were young enough to spoil, and he's definitely missing it. Now that you've opened the box, he has all the permission he needs.

He'll act like everything's totally normal though. He still expects you to get your classwork in on time, and strongly discourages you from getting into trouble with your friends. But it somehow seems more insistent? Like when he sees you going to hang out with ADeuce, and he says to stay out of trouble, it sounds more like, "Dear god, please don't do anything stupid!"

He offers to help you with your homework a lot more often now. He had already offered from time to time before, but now it's a lot more often. Like calling him dad was giving him permission.

He gives you presents every once in a while. Expensive presents, wrapped in a neat box with a perfect bow. He acts like it's nothing. When he hands it to you he says how he just was passing through the store, and saw it, and thought it was something you needed. No biggie.

Lucius follows you around a lot now. You have no idea why…

"You were almost correct here. You need to add mustard seed, or it won't work," Crewel said as he looked over your homework with you. 

He definitely didn't have to go over your homework with you line by line, but you definitely appreciated it. 

"Oh, yeah! Thanks!" You made a note so that you wouldn't forget later.

"Not a problem. Anything for my favorite pup. Don't tell the others though," he gave you a playful wink.

"No problem, no one has to know, dad." 

Oops.

Oh? He might raise an eyebrow, or give you a smirk, but he won't say anything. It'll be like it never happened, and you can convince yourself he didn't hear it.

But he definitely did. He heard it. He goes home to his dogs that night, and picks them up, and cuddles them close, and keeps telling them, "they called me Dad!" 

Like I said, you can convince yourself he didn't hear it. But every once in a while he'll slip and do something that makes you wonder. Like he'll gently rub the top of your head. Or he'll tell you he understands if you don't get your homework in, just don't let it happen again. Or when your idiot friends drag you into a scheme, he'll get you an exemption from the detention that inevitably follows.

Crewel has a habit of adopting students already, without realizing it. Vil's your brother now, by the way.  He'll invite both of you to dinner in the guise of "checking up on my most studious pups" but it's really to just spend time with his little found family.

You won't know for sure he heard it, until after you graduate, when he offers to sponsor you through whatever you want to do. Cosign leases and loans, transportation to an interview, purchasing a uniform, letter of recommendation…. he'll do whatever you need, and when you're like, "Sir, I'm not sure how to repay you!" He'll say, "It's a dad's job to help out his pup." That's when the memory of that fateful day comes rushing back to you.

Sam let you work weekend shifts with him for extra cash. You didn't know how he always knew, but whenever the shop was closing, if you hadn't bought anything to eat that day, he'd get you something and have you eat it while he did closing tasks.

"I can eat this later, Sam. It's no trouble!" 

"You've done enough work, my little imp. You're no use to me if you starve to death," he laughed. "Plus your health is important to me, even outside of you working here."

"God, dad, you're just the best!" 

You've known him long enough to know that if he didn't hear it, his "friends" certainly did. No matter how embarrassed or flustered you are by the mistake, you know that he knows. And he won't easily forget it.

On the whole, your relationship doesn't change. To him, you saw him as Dad already. So that's that.  He doesn't need to change, and you don't need to change.

That said… now that the words have been said…he has his friends specifically watching you at all times. Just in case. If you've ever started to fall, and felt someone catch you, but when you turned around you saw no one there…that's not your guardian angel. That's your dad's shadow.

Okay…not everything stays the same. Merch from your favorite things are always in stock at the store from now on. Neither of you addresses it…but deep down you both know.

"You wanna be as tough as me, right? You need to do at least ten more pushups!"

"God, you're the worst, dad-"

Fuck.

Oh man. You've made a huge mistake. (Part two) the conversation will go as such. "Dad huh?" "Uh, I-" "Ha ha ha! Well,  you're gonna have to bulk up! Just trust your old man, he knows what's best! Fifty squats! Go!" God, you're fucked.

Wakes you up in the morning with a booming laugh, and a green smoothie of unknown origins. Once you chug the smoothie, with indiscernible flavor profile, it's time for your three mile jog. He'll go slow for you. If you complain he'll say, "Dad knows what's best for you! If you want to be as fit as me, this is only the beginning!" If you continue to complain,  he'll make you do a plank until you give in and join him on the run.

You can't look at this man and tell me he doesn't give the best hugs. Before you dropped the d word, his affection was expressed with a pat on the back. Now, when he sees you, he scoops you up in a bear hug. I don't care how tall or short you are, your feet are off the ground when he hugs you. 

Surprisingly? He's the most gung ho about who you want to date. Gym teachers see students at their worst and most desperate. He's seen Azul try to con his way out of flight class, Leona get flaky and take a nap, Cater attempting to split card his way out of laps…none of them are worthy of you! Besides, they can't even lift, bro! You're not from here, how are any of them supposed to protect your magicless, muscle less body? Now that he's dad, he's way more vocal about his opinions. Good luck.

[jadeazora]

Ok, several things!

I like that Sidian, Hamber, and even Coral sense shit stinks about this whole situation and are willing to let Amethio explain himself (at least until Gibeon shuts them down), while Spinel and Chalce, who set Amethio up, lay on those condemnations thick.

Spinel was fine with either option really, Amethio dies, or he manipulates things to make it look like he betrayed the organization.

Gibeon REFUSING to hear his grandson out, saying he's the same (presumably as his father) and that he strayed from the path [by helping Liko and allowing her to leave with Terapagos]. I'm wondering if what caused Amethio's father to leave the Explorers was falling for Amethio's mother and bearing Amethio? (Also, I had a crazy thought of what if he'd hooked up with another of Lucius's descendants--ie, Lucca and Alex. Like, definitely not, they all look nothing alike, but it kinda had me going "wait a fucking second" for a moment lmao) He seemed awfully quick to throw Amethio aside for deviating from the path.

I'm definitely expecting him to start his Zuko arc. Tho more the "reclaiming his honor" earlier parts of it. Kiddo's definitely gonna be fucking up and doubling down trying to get back in Gibeon's good graces. Until something shakes his faith in Gibeon, like learning something HORRIBLE about him, this is all because of Spinel putting him in a bad light. Amethio won't change until the grip his grandfather's got on him is shaken, and it wasn't here imo, he's hurt by Gibeon's words, but they will reinforce his drive to pursue Gibeon's goals.

I wonder when Amethio's dad will show up, like we do need that Armarouge rep to go along with Amethio's Ceruledge. (Or if it'll be something of an Ursa situation, and we only get flashbacks of him.)

Honestly, Ame, it's a toxic family and work situation. He would be better off leaving for good and joining the RVT gang.

[mx-pastelwriting]

HP - Having a family with you.

HP x GN! Reader

Summary: Having a family with you.

Warnings: Fluff, Established a Relationship

Characters: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Rubeus Hagrid, Lucius Malfoy

Severus Snape

- He would be a very caring father, though a bit stern if the children misbehaved; he would take leave when the school year came around to take care of you and the new baby.

- Definitely would panic if every time your child would cry, seeing what was wrong, he moved quickly to feed or change them.

- Teething would be hell for him knowing his child was in pain, and all he could do was rock them to sleep, hoping they felt better when they woke.

- Would buy a new house even if it meant his child would live a safer and better life, but if he didn't want to, he would have his house remodeled in some places and baby proofed.

- When they grow up and are in their first year at Hogwarts, he will still teach, making sure his child is taken care of under Hogwarts roof and not wanting his school days to happen to his child. Being a proud father no matter what the sorting hat puts them in.

Severus settled your baby into its high chair as you watched from the kitchen, making your own breakfast while he fed them. He set the bowl down in front of the baby, quickly them trying to throw it from the table, but got frustrated when it did not budge thanks to his dad's spell. Your baby gave his own dad the death stare, laughing, you watched as he gave it right back before smiling to himself.

-

Remus Lupin

- He would be on his knees at the news; yes, he was beyond happy, but fear filled him, thinking his child would end up going through the pain of turning into a wolf every month. Even if you couldn't have children, you worked with him to find a spell that took you through the dark arts.

- The baby being born, he watched the baby every second it was breathing, waiting for something, but nothing ever did. To his relief and comfort, his fear was calmed by the knowledge that it wasn't inherited through genetics.

- He spent almost every waking moment in bliss watching your child grow, learning to laugh with his smile; it made your heart swell seeing him take every moment to help you even when you wanted to have some time with your baby, he was always offering to take them.

- Would move somewhere where he knew it would be safe for them and him to live. When the full moon came, you made up a story about how he had business to go on. Only for him to go miles away to lock himself up. When the day came to tell them whatever their reaction was, he comforted them, telling them how he wondered if they would be just like him. They had their own time to talk that day.

- When it came time for them to go to Hogwarts, he kissed them with tears running down his cheeks, but he was quickly reminded they'd be back soon. Lots of tears were shed watching your baby go off with the train.

The first time since you had your child, you were alone with Remus, You said that very thoughtful thing, and he looked up with a sad look, then one of realization. "What do you think we should give them a sibling?" you asked with a smirk as big as the moon. He smiles, "Now that is a good idea," he whispers into your ear before heading off upstairs as the sun sets.

-

Rubeus Hagrid

- Would be a bear dad, warm and snugly, but would be ready to protect his family if anything or anyone got to them.

- Always having a baby sling on him, warming the baby as they slept, you relaxed most days as he took care of them. Sometimes it would be hard to get your own time with the baby.

- They grew up always hanging off him or being held; he would never grow out of it, loving his little bear cub. Working as the Hogwarts gatekeeper, he begged Dumbledore that his family also live with him so that he would not be away from them for long.

- Every night he tucked them in with a story of what he had seen through his day of working at Hogwarts. He didn't bring home animals as much as he had before, and even when he did, they would be ones with no chance of hurting his own.

- When the day came for his own to go to Hogwarts, he told them that if anything happened, he would be around to help. Excitement was all he could feel seeing what house they ended up being in, giving them a kiss on the head before going off to their dorm.

You hugged Hagrid as he shed some tears at the fact your little bear cub wasn't to be tucked in—not until summer anyway. Getting into bed, you cuddled into his warm body, his sniffles had quieted till then, but a knock came before you both fell into sleep. Hagrid jumps from the bed, opening the door, letting you see the head of house behind your little one looking sad.

Hagrid didn't even listen to what they said happened, just scooped them up, closed the door before bringing them to bed, and let them snuggle up with you.

-

Lucius Malfoy (Draco doesn't exist)

- Being himself, he didn't show much love, but you knew he was sometimes shy about telling them how much he loved them.

- Even telling him that his love for them means everything, he gives more hugs and shows more love in front of you. Feeding them was his favorite time, as you could tell by how he smiled and how his eyes lit up.

- Holding them around the house, he would have them in his office with him as he worked, talking to them even if they couldn't even stand. Watching him build a crib so your little one could be more comfortable in his office, then fill it with stuffed toys,

- As they grew, they followed him around, sometimes hanging off of him, but he didn't mind, even in public. He would tell them not to touch or run in the house or the shops they went to, but if they did, he would do anything in his power to fix it.

- When sorting came, he would be happy with any news of the house but would be even happier if they were sorted into Slytherin, of course.

Getting the news from the owl, you sat down with Lucius at the breakfast table, handing him the letter before digging into your food. He read it with a growing smile on his face. Watching as he puts the letter down, you lock eyes with him before smiling back. "They couldn't have made me happier," he said, looking back down at the letter.

-

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is and grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

[recreationalfanfics]

Twisted Night At The Museum HCs/Thoughts/Concepts:

These are brain farts but ya'll are making me feel like I have the biggest brain so-

- If the Daley! Reader had a Unique Magic it'd be: "Alive for the Night" where basically any statues on display and stuff can come to life. Including the ones of the Great Seven but they can only do it at night. (Idk if you guys want them to have it or not, ya'll can fight about it in the notes)

- The Daley! Reader was also adopted by Larry after Nicky moved out and became a DJ, Larry is still a super protective father whose very anxious and is looking through various museum archives to figure out if something can be done about his child whose stuck in Twisted Wonderland. He requires you to check the mirror and talk to him at least 4 times a day to know you're alright and if you miss a time, YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE-

- No but parent teacher conferences and you have to hold the mirror so that your teachers can talk to Larry through it.

Larry Daley + His Relationship with the Staff:

- Crowley: No, he's been in this game long enough to know that Crowley isn't trustworthy and while you KNOW he isn't trust worthy, he is the reason that Larry wants you to check in 4 times a day. Crowley tries to paint it like everything is fine and Larry pretends to believe him. Crowley is just a bit off put by Larry because you're already such an odd and resourceful individual, that he can't imagine what your father (the man who raised you) must be like and while he laughs whenever Larry promises to bring you home, Crowley slowly starts to believe him. Like, bro, he deals with a magic tablet and brought a family of old Egyptian pharaohs together, Larry Daley is getting his child back.

- Crewel is the only man in this school that Larry trusts, along with Trein, but Larry does notice that Crewel seems a lot more concerned with your safety and has a soft spot for you. Crewel will also give Larry due respect and while he's not sure about his bland outfit choices, he's very much aware that your father loves and is worried for you and so, Crewel will make sure you are well behaved and taken care off until you're able to reunite. It's bittersweet for him because he does grow to get attatched to you but soon realizes that he's never gonna be your father back home. (SPLIT CUSTODY IS ALL I'M GONNA SAY).

- Vargas: Larry hates him so much. Like in the movies, he's always snarky and closed off from people he dislikes so their conversations are always so passive aggressive. Like, Vargas is all: "Ha, no wonder you look so wimpy! Look at your dad!" and Larry is all: "First of all, they're adopted (but still my kid) so neither of us can really say anything but second of all, I went face to face with a triceratops, so, yeah. Not sure if they have those in your world, but thats pretty impressive." and Vargas just brushes him off and he HATES IT.

- Next is Trein, who is like a strict grandpa to you and one of the other teachers who get along with Larry. As a father himself, he admires Larry trying to protect you as best as he can while he's in a different world, and he couldn't imagine what it would be like if his own children where stranded in a place he couldn't protect them in. So yeah, while your dad is awkward, Trein tries to help him out and ease both his and your anxieties. I also can totally see Dexter the Cappuchin Monkey and Lucius fighting across the mirror.

- Sam is one that Larry doesn't see to often aside from Larry trying to find old spells in old archives that require magical ingredients that he doesn't know about so he'll ask Sam about them or see if he can find any suitable substitutes and Sam will do it of course, for a fee. He really admires your dad's dedication but he also admires the relationship and bond you two have. Yeah, you might come into his shop to rant about how protective he is and some other flaws but you love him dearly. Sometimes he'll throw in a few freebies because at the end of the day, you two just want to be with each other again.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME STUDENTS AND HOW I FEEL LIKE INTERACTIONS WITH THEM WOULD GO.

Now back to some general headcanons:

- Okay so have you guys seen the Stuart Little movies? Where he has a bunch of ladders and stuff around the room because he's small and can't get to places faster, thats kinda what you have to do for Jedediah and Octavius. They sleep on your nightstand after Deuce and Jack either made tiny beds for them or you made them in a wood work class or something.

- I can also totally see that after the first winter break, your first year friends bring back some old childhood toys that maybe Jedediah and Octavius can use to help or to help them travel faster around the campus.

- Deuce brought back an old remote controlled Magic Wheel (the motorcycle thing he likes) and gave it to them so not only can they ride around in style but they also have a tendency to drive recklessly and trip over poor unsuspecting students who are just trying to walk to their class. They'll do it especially if they mess with you.

- Ace brings them back like, tiny weapons from his old toy soldiers and stuff and while they might not do much, he just thinks its so funny how serious Octavius is when he's all: "Thank you, Child of Trappola, for I now have an arsenal to defend Fort Ramshackle!" and Jedediah rolling his eyes.

- You try to keep them on higher ground, especially due to the rats but I love the idea that when you're away on classes and you trust them not to do anything stupid, they're riding around on Grim and throwing toy spears at any rats running around and defending their home. Like to them, it's an intense battle where they could possibly die but to the ghosts, it looks like they're just annoying the rats that they eventually just give up and leave because they're so annoying and rambunctious.

- Out of all of your friends, they like to use Jack as a mode of transportation. After all, he's HUGE and when they sit on his shoulders, they're absolutely amazed by how much they can see. Jack tries his best to remember they're on his shoulders but if a class is really boring and he forgets, he'll lean on one shoulder which causes them to lose balance and almost fall but hed got quick reflexes and apologizes to them.

- THE WAY EPEL AND THEM WOULD GET ALONG. Like, Epel will walk in all roughed up because he got into a fight and walk past you to rant to Jedediah and Octavius and talk about how some kids were picking on him for being cute and little and Jed and Oct are all: "YA BETTER HAVE SHOWN 'EM THAT WHAT FOR!" and Epel is all: "COURSE I DID!" and you just sigh because you know that Vil is gonna ask to keep Epel away from your "little raggedy friends".

- BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SEBEK ACTUALLY RESPECTS YOUR LITTLE CREW. Especially after he finds out you want to be a Night Gaurd and mistakes your words and believes that you come from a family of noble gaurdians who keep the ancient relics of your world safe (which is kinda true but its not that dramatic) and when he sees you defend yourself with a mere flashlight, you become his idol.

- IN NIGHT OF THE MUSEUM TWO, THERE'S THIS SCENE THAT FITS PERFECTLY WITH YOU AND SEBEK FIRST MEETING, HERE'S THE LINK BUT GO TO 1:57 BUT THAT'S HOW I IMAGINE YOUR FIRST MEETING WITH SEBEK GOES.

You, whispering as your faces are squished together: "Listen, fae boy, you do not know who you're dealing with. I've seen things in my world, stuff you can't even imagine."

Sebek, whispering back: "Like what kind of stuff?"

You: "I'm not gonna tell you, but you're gonna drop your sword-"

Sebek: "The way you said it just made it sound like you were gonna say something really cool-"

You: "Yeah, you don't get to hear it, drop the sword-"

- OKAY BUT YOU BEING DEEMED THE NIGHT GAURD OF NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE. Like idk, maybe you don't need as much sleep as everyone or during weekends, you just hibernate and then survive on naps and energy drinks throughout the week (it's such an unhealthy habit, all of the Dorm Leaders are concerned and Vil might trick you into drinking a sleeping potion if your eyebags get too prominent) but I love the idea that the bullying rates go down. Hell, even the Savanahclaw dorm kids don't try to start with as many fights with you around because they know you'll finish them with your flashlight. Like they're all cornering you and you blind one of them temporarily before you do some cool fighting moves. Your quick wit and training as a night gaurd is the only thing you've got to give you an edge in this world and by God are you gonna use it.

-And even if that fails you, you've got friends who've got your back. Like you get cornered by some bullies and then they feel something stab their feet and Jed and Octavius are bravely stabbing their shoes and the students are hopping around in pain.

- But yeah, the Night Gaurd in you just makes you walks around Night Raven College and look at all the various statues and history and you read and do your research on Twisted Wonderland.

- Like in the first movie, the thing Larry did after his first wild night at the museum was do research and by God, do you dedicate yourself to doing research on Twisted Wonderland and the study of magic.

- ALSO MALLEUS JOINING YOU DURING YOUR LATE NIGHT PATROLS OF YOUR SCHOOL GROUNDS and telling you everything there is to know about the magic here. You know how Ahkmenrah calls Larry "Gaurdian of Brooklyn"? I feel like instead of Child of Man, Malleus would call you "Gaurdian of the Night" because you tell him that's your dad's job and you want to fill in his shoes.

- MALLEUS AND SEBEK TRYING TO GET YOU TO JOIN HIS GAURDS BUT YOUR DUTY IS TO EVERYONE BUT HE'S ALL: "You know, just in case you might have to stay for longer, there will always be a spot in my court for you. As either my gaurd or my spouse-"

- "What was that last part?"

- "What?"

Feel Free to Send in any Thoughts/Asks/or Questions about this AU!

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter Part 6

Tenison was high in the dining room of Grimmuald Place as the Black brothers stared one another down. Regulus knew that part of Sirius's anger was because he thought he had lost his child to his brother, much like when they were young, and their parents favored Regulus over him. But this was Sirius's own fault; Ali had tried even after she had been hurt that Sirius went to Harry first. Sirius could not get over the fact that Ali was close with the Malfoys and had taken to projecting his anger to the only person who would love him more than anything if he tried.

Sirius wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was jealous of Regulus. He always had been, but coming back from the hell he had been trapped in to find that his own daughter had chosen his brother over him hurt more than any torture he had ever faced. Regulus had always been the perfect child who everyone adored. He had gotten fewer beatings as a child than Sirius, had gotten better grades in school, and now was considered a dad to Ali. It was only natural for Sirius to go back to what he did during his school years and focus his attention on the people who showed him attention. Harry was his godchild, but Harry also had no one else, meaning Sirius didn't have to worry about being replaced. Sirius also felt awful for the events that transpired the night of James and Lily's deaths and was trying to make up for it.

"If you just gave her a chance, you may find she is much more like you than you think." Regulus sat at the table again, watching his older brother run his hands through his hair. "She is so headstrong and stubborn that I know it revivals yours. And I cannot express enough how she just wants to be good enough for you to love, much like how you tried for years with Mother."

Sirius sighed in defeat, regrettting the painful things he had put his daughter through. "I do love her. I just…."

"Are shit at showing it. I saw the look in your eyes when Ali called me dad; I know that hurt you. But instead of talking about it, you just lash out at her or me or Remus, making it seem like you really don't care at all. I never tried to fill that role in her life. I was and will always be Uncle Reg, and that is fine. Do I see her as my child and love her like my own? Yes, absolutely. I will do anything for her, and if that fills that role as a father, I will. But I don't want to take that from you. You had so much stolen from you in your life, Sirius: your childhood, your parents, your best friend, 12 years of your life. The last thing I want to do is take more away, but I cannot and will not put you above her. She deserves so much in this world, and you should help her get it. We both should. But the question remains: will you put aside your 'every Slytherin is a Death Eater' mindset to do so? Because people have changed and we are close to the Malfoys, Notts, Parkinson's, and the Zabini's. They are not the same people anymore. Things have changed in the war; sides have changed. But you haven't. Ali is loyal to a fault and is a great judge of character; she won't betray the Order, nor will the others. Just give people a chance, Sirius."

"I did give people a chance, and it…..it got my best friend and his wife killed. We trusted Peter. I trusted Peter enough to have James make him the secret Keeper. It got them killed, and he was our friend. How am I supposed to trust that Lucius Malfoy has the Order's best interest at heart when my own friend of 9 years didn't?" Sirius started pacing before his brother. His head is cloudy in memories, tears blurring his eyes as his best friend's dead body flashed in front of him. "I know that I'm shit at showing Ali I love her, and part of it is because I'm scared to get close only to lose her again to someone like Lucius Malfoy. I owe it to James to look after Harry, but that doesn't mean I don't love him like my own because I do. But I love Ali just as much, and I know she has you, Remus, and even Snivillious to love her. And I want to try to improve things with her; I just don't know how. How do I fix what I've done, Regulus?"

Regulus caught the double meaning to his brother's question, "You can't. Sirius, you can't fix what happened to James and Lily. You can't fix how you've treated Ali so far."

Sirius felt his heart crack at his brother's words. He had hoped to get Ali back, but it seemed he had gone too far. He started for the stairs when Regulus continued.

"But that doesn't mean you can't fix it from now on. You can't change the past and bring James back, but you can make them proud by loving and protecting Ali and Harry. I mean, yeah, they don't get along now, but I think part of that is because he has seen and heard how you and James treated outsiders. I know they used to play together as babies, not that they would remember it, but Remus told me. Tell how close they were till everything happened, and bring them back together. Stop being afraid of losing Ali to someone when all everyone wants to do is love her and keep her safe. And maybe you don't trust Lucius or the others right now, but I trust them more than Dumbledore most of the time. And you should talk to Moody about the help Lucius has given the Order even if he refuses to say he has aligned himself with us." Regulus held his brother's shoulder, "Give them a chance. Don't let the other kids make remarks about Ali and her friends. Talk to her. I wouldn't start trying to act like her father, but maybe a friend? Or a really distant uncle. You'll figure it out, Sirius; you're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Sirius followed his brother up the stairs, going to bed with hope, lighting a flame in his heart for the first time in years.

Days following the talk between Regulus and Sirius, Ali noticed that the golden trio had become slightly nicer to her. She does not make as many comments about her or her friends. She had no idea what was happening but wasn't going to complain. Regulus had come to her that morning telling her that he thought it a better idea if Blaise came to their house instead of her going over there. He believed it would show that the Slytherins were not as bad as all the others thought.

At first, Ali was hesitant about the idea. Still, after being reassured that Remus would be home as well as Regulus, Ali agreed. The thought of Blaise being at her house surrounded by her tormentors made her sick to her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to run away for a few days, but that ship had sailed, and it was only hours before Blaise arrived when Regulus called for 'those who live in this house meeting.' By the time Ali had gotten dressed and cleaned her room, everyone was already in the kitchen since it seemed to be the usual gathering place for the group. She straightened her sweater and did a quick glance down to make sure her outfit was still okay. It was slightly chilly in the house, so she had gone with a Bulgarian Quidditch sweater that was mainly red with black details and a pair of cropped black leggings with matching fuzzy socks. She and Blaise had already decided to stay for most of the day and then go and get dinner somewhere in Diagon Ally so she could change later. Remus and Regulus walked at the same time as Sirius and Harry.

"I'm assuming everyone is confused about why this meeting was called," Remus started. "There seems to be an assumption that Slyertians and those associated with them are all Death Eaters or traitors."

Scowls had overtaken most of the younger one's faces in the room, as well as Sirius's. Ali looked at her uncle, trying to figure out where this was going. She knew the reason was to inform everyone that Blaise would be here for a few days, but there was something else going on; she could feel it.

"After speaking with Dumbledore and getting his permission, not that I technically need the permission as it is my house, but nevertheless. A few individuals will be coming to stay here for the upcoming days, and there will be a couple of visitors as well." Regulus's eye caught Ali's, and gave her a wink just as the sound of footsteps entered the foyer. Ali was too short to see over everyone's heads to see who was there, but from the looks on a couple faces, including the elder Weasley, it was someone they were not fond of.

A flash of white hair caught Ali's eye as the group entered the kitchen. Her mouth dropped in shock as she took in her uncle Severus, leading the Malfoys, Blaise, and Theo towards Regulus and Remus. Cissa shot her a wink while Draco eyed Harry and Sirius up and down; Blaise kept his eyes locked on Ali, and Theo thoroughly enjoyed the shocked looks from the Weasleys.

"Sorry, we're late. Draco took too long in the mirror this morning," Severus said. Draco glared at his Godfather before continuing on with his glare at Potter.

"Well, allow me to introduce everyone. This is Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, which I'm sure almost all of you know. This is Blaise, Theodore, and Draco. Narcissa and Lucius will be in and out for the next bit trying to get caught up on Order business while the latter three will be staying here for a bit." Remus shook Lucius's hand before joining Dora beside Ali, who was bouncing on her toes, overly excited at the fact that it was going to be back to normal in the next couple of days.

"You can't be serious. They are staying here?" Sirius exclaimed, running his hand down his face before glaring at Lucius. "I still remember what you did, Malfoy."

"I don't often agree with Sirius, but Dumbledore said this was alright?" Arthur asked. Ali knew that the Malfoys hadn't been the kindest to the Weasleys in the past, and she felt sorry for them in that aspect, but Lucius was not the same man as he was during her first year. And Narcissa wouldn't hurt a flea.

Remus stepped forward again, "He did. Narcissa and Lucius will be helping with some scooting missions that are coming up since they know that area of town better and are considering joining the Order. The three brats are mainly for Ali, though."

"Did you miss us short stack?" Theo opened his arms for Ali, who jumped straight into them. Theo gave her a twirl before pulling on her braid. She barely had time to catch her breath before Draco had her spinning again and tickling her sides, making her squeal.

"Of course I missed you! What kind of question is that?!" Ali giggled before hugging Blaise despite her uncle Remus glaring at them. Blaise took her hand and gave it a squeeze when they parted before facing the other children in the room. Theo and Draco took the opposite sides of Ali, showing a united front against the ones who had been horrible towards her.

Ali was ecstatic that they were going to be in the house more. Maybe her summer wouldn't end so badly. Sirius was shocked that Dumbledore had cleared this and even more shocked that Lucius would help the Order. He did not trust him and would go on those missions even if he had to go as Padfoot. This was outrageous and downright stupid, allowing death eaters to snoop freely in the Order business. Looking at his daughter, he could see how happy she was to be surrounded by her friends, but he also knew that he would have to keep a closer eye on her than he already was. He had asked the trio to play nice so he had more people watching her. He did trust that she was a Death Eater, and now he was surrounded by them.

"Al, Kreatcher sat up extra beds in your room for the boys. Pansy should be joining later, but she had something come up with her grandfather. Her mother said she would owl when she was on her way." Regulus leveled each of the boys with a look. "You lot know the rules. I don't care if you have fun but clean up after yourselves, and don't be too loud when it gets late. Curfew is at 10pm and no later. If you are leaving the house, go in pairs at least and let one of the adults you know be aware of where you're going. You lot know the food is fair game, and Kretcher has already been instructed to grocery shop more often. The house is also fair game, but be respectful, please."

"Don't worry, Uncle Reg. I'll keep them in line," Draco smirked at the other three before Severus whacked him upside the head.

Ali turned and looked at the younger swarm of redheads and others in the room. She cleared her throat to get the attention on her, which made her take an unconscious step back toward Blaise and Draco. "Everyone, this is Theo, Blaise and Draco. I'm sure most of you know this, but just in case. You are welcome to join our fun, but we get if you don't want to." Ali pulled the boys out of the room after greeting her aunt and uncle. They sat on the living room floor with wizards, chess, and a few other games while a movie played in the background. Kreacher brought out snack trays for them, and the laughter was music to Regulus's ears after all the quiet he'd heard from Ali this summer.

Ali could feel the stares from those around them, most directed at Draco and her. She could see the disbelief every time Draco laughed or made a joke. This was the side of Draco that was rarely seen by others. An hour had passed before a chess match went on between Draco and Ali. Blaise sat to one side of Ali, and Theo was in the middle of her and Draco, watching the death match continue.

"What dare shall I have you do this time, Als" Draco taunted her while he moved his piece. It was an ongoing rule that when she and Draco played wizarding chess, the loser had to do a dare of the winner's choice. It was always a toss-up in who won, as both were incredibly good at the game.

"Don't think too hard; I wouldn't want to overwork that one brain cell of yours." Ali stuck her tongue out at Draco when she stole his knight.

Draco was about to reply when a shadow came over the top of the board. Looking up, there was the eldest two Weasley children and Fleur. Ali could see the hearts in Theo's eyes before she kicked him in the shin. "She's engaged, you idiot."

Bill and Charlie chuckled, "We saw you guys playing games and were curious if we could join you? I have my board and thought we could do a little tournament."

Charlie held up his chess board. The teens all nodded, and with a snap of his fingers, Charlie's board was all set up. Bill took one side of the board before looking at Theo. "You up for a challenge?"

Theo crawled to the opposite side of the small table. Bill made the first move, and the game commenced. Charlie and Fleur took seats around the rest of them and started trash-talking with them, too. Charlie was on Ali's side, whereas Fleur took Dracos. Regulus, Molly, and Narcissa looked around the corner and had smiles spread across their faces at the sight they saw. It wasn't the younger kids trying to get along with the others, but the eldest and Molly knew that her children all looked up to their brothers, so maybe there was hope in this crazy plan after all.

[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

[halloworhorecrux]

Hear me out...

Andrew Garifield Spiderman is Harry Potter

Gwen Stacey is Draco Malfoy

Just imagine that scene where Spiderman sticks Gwen to the car and she screams out " Peter" only it's Draco screaming out "Potter'

Harry: I gotta go

Draco: I'm coming with you

Harry: Draco, your not coming with me

Draco: Yes I am

Harry: Draco, it's too dangerous

Draco: I'm coming with you, I know the wards and know how to reset the entire system.

Harry: *covers mouth

Draco: I'm coming with you. You know that you need me----

Harry: okay okay. Your coming with me shut the thing.

Sorry, I love you. Don't hate me.

Draco: POTTER!

************************************************

Draco: What's your name?

Harry: You don't know my name?

Draco: " I know your name, I just want to know if you know your name."

Harry: Potter--

Draco:

Harry: Potter, Harry Potter.

*************************************************

Draco : No, dad, I don't want cocoa . Honestly, I'm 17 years old.

Lucius: My mistake. I just thought I remembered somebody saying last week that his fantasy was to live in a chocolate house

Draco: Well that's impractical!* slams door*

*opens door* and fattening! *slams door*

Harry: * smirk* Chocolate house?

*********************************************

Dinner at Malfoy Manor, Lucius is a spokesman for Ministry

Narcissa: Well, did you catch that spider guy?

Lucius: No, we didn't catch him, but we will. He's an amature who is assaulting civilians in the dead of night He' s clumsy. He leaves clues, but he is still dangerous. If we wanted the death eaters off the street, we would have them off the street

Harry: So why haven't you?

Lucius: What are trying to say?

Harry: I'm trying to say that he's trying to help, maybe he's doing something the aurors can't.

********************************************

Auror Mad Eye Moody: Who are you?

Spiderman Harry: No one seems to grasp the concept of the mask. I've done 80% of your jobs. Huh, that! That's how you repay me

***********************************************

Draco: Really, you webbed me to a car?!?! What are you a caveman?

Harry: You shouldn't be here

Draco: Tie me up while you go off to war

Harry: It's not safe here

Draco: I know how to help you!

Harry: What are you doing here

Draco: I know the wards

Harry: that's not the point

Draco: I can reset the system

Harry: You can't be here right now. I'm not messing around. You can't be here, ok. This isn't safe

Draco: Oh, you know what, nobody makes my decisions for me, alright, nobody. This is my choice, my choice, mine.

But with a happy ending because I need the good vibes,

We can backpack this....like maybe he thinks he dies, but somehow comes back as *Gwen spiderwoman* version

Like everyone was oblivated to forget Draco, and so they meet again like the Spiderman into the spider verse in college

Draco: oh, are you okay?

Harry: What? *why am I so sweaty *

Draco: Why are you so sweaty?

Harry: It's a puberty thing. I don't know why I said that. I'm not going through puberty. I did, but I'm done. I'm A MaN.

So you're like new here? We got that in common

Draco: Sure, that's something.

Harry: I'm Harry

Draco: I'm Draaa--go

Harry: Wait, your name is Drago

Draco: Yes, it's Italian. I'm from Italy. No accent, though, cause I was raised here.

(In this scenario, Harry has been hit with a curse that makes his webbing leak in his sweet. Harry tried to do the shoulder touch he learned from Sirius.)

Harry: * Why is this so scary? Am I doing this is slow motion or does it just feel that way*

Draco: I'm kidding, it's... Drake. Not draegon, that would be weird.

Harry: hEY

Draco : Okay then .. uh. I'll see you around

Harry: oh see you. *hand sticks to hair*

Draco: *tries to get away* Hey.

Harry: Oh crap

Draco: Uh, can you let go, please?

Harry: *pulls*

Draco: OW OW OW. It's fine.

Harry: I can't let go

Draco: Harry, let go

Harry: It's just puberty

Draco: I don't think you know what puberty is.

Just relax.

Harry: Okay, I have a plan, I'm going to pull really hard

Draco: That's a terrible plan

Harry: one

Draco: don't do this

Harry: two

Draco: three * flips him*

Harry: ahhhhhhhhhh

Buzz of clippers

Harry: Nice to meet you

Draco: Sure. Total pleasure

**********************************************

After they know secret identities

Harry: wait wait hold on there is a secret society of crime fighting vigilantes.

Draco: Okay, there's this lady, Dorcas Meadows. She rides a motorcycle. Oh, merlin. I'm am learning so much from her.

Harry: Oh yea, I have a mentor, too. I'm leveled up my whole thing

*********************************************

The betrayal

Draco: I--I didn't know how to tell you

Harry: That's why you never came to see me

Draco: Harry, it's for your own good

Harry: Who decided that, Draco. I'm not kid anymore.

Draco: I told you, Harry. In every other universe, I fall in love with you. And in every other universe, it doesn't end well.

Harry: *smiles* There's a first time for everything . Well,what do you think?

Draco: What I always think. You're amazing

And they live happily ever after....

[sunkissedscribbles]

Prejudiced - Chapter Eight

this is only a part of the series, the previous and next chapters can be found here 

a/n: this one is a little more *extreme* and rather experimental for cass but i had so much fun writing it, i hope y'all enjoy!!

word count: 2347

tw: wlw, drugs & alcohol use, cassie being oblivious, ki's daddy issues (this is gonna be a permanent warning i guess)

summary: though starting off a little more serious with ki & cass' conversation, it gets more lighthearted the moment the boys enter the picture

<previous chapter          next chapter>

dividers by @chachachannah

I'm sitting on Ki's bed, my back sunk into her pillows behind me as I anxiously fidget with the strings of my plaid trousers as we're discussing the events of the previous hour when Harry's name flew out of the red flames of the goblet.

"I don't know, Cass," she sighs, shaking her head at me. "It doesn't sit right with me either."

"It's always him," I drop my head onto the pillows. "This is a bad omen."

"He is a bad omen," she rolls her eyes sarcastically and I shoot her a glare. "You think it has Voldemort behind it?" Kiara lowers her voice and I nod slowly but surely.

"Yeah, I mean... I kinda heard him talking to Ron and Hermione about him having nightmares. And now with his name..."

"But what if he put it into the Goblet?" Ki asks, somewhat hopeful that there's no dark force behind it, to which I shake my head.

"He couldn't possibly do it–"

"I know, I know, the age shit. But Granger must know some potions or charms to confuse the circle," to that, I shake my head.

"She said it to the twins herself. There's no way. Plus why would she or Harry want to risk his life? Cedric, Fleur and Krum are all of age, Harry's inexperienced and his knowledge isn't as wide and deep as theirs."

We both stay silent for a few seconds, just digesting what's been said just now.

Kiara's the one to break the quiescence, "I've heard Karkaroff was a Death Eater. What if he put Harry's name into it?" I frown at the suggestion. It would make sense.

"Do you think he was there? At the World Cup?" I ask in a reserved tone.

"He could've," she nods as she rolls onto his left to face me comfortably. "We didn't talk about it enough, did we?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. It's not really our–"

"But it affected you," she insists and reaches out for my hand to squeeze it. "It affected you more than me because–"

"Because dad and 'cuz my whole family consists of Death Eaters?" I cut in with a roll of my eyes – we're on topic again...

"No. I mean, partly," she shakes her head, to which I frown. Just partly? "Cass," she continues with a sigh, "because of your cousin. And mostly because of Mattheo."

I'm taken aback by her words, not quite understanding why she brings them up now.

"How do they come here?" I shake my head.

"C'mon, don't pretend like you don't know..."

She's somewhat right. Even if Draco and I don't act like family anymore, I still care about him. And knowing my uncle, Lucius will force Draco into whatever that's going on. It doesn't sit right with me how collected Draco was at the World Cup back in August when the Death Eaters arose from nowhere. I bet his father was amongst them – why else would he have been so at ease while it happened? He knew. And the ministry's trying to cover for it so desperately like it was nothing. Something is off, I just can't explain it properly. So, yes, I do care about my cousin and don't want him to make the same mistakes our fathers did.

And Mattheo... he hasn't had a good night's sleep in months, he's my friend, one of my best mates and I'm worried about him. Merlin, I can already imagine the hate he'd get if the whole Voldemort misery started again. People would accuse him of helping his father, and not only at Hogwarts but in the entire Wizarding World. His and Harry's nightmares are a concerning sign.

"Cass?" Ki's worried-curious voice shakes me out of my thoughts. "What is it?"

I shake my head – I promised Mattheo not to tell the others about his nightmares and sleeping problems. But at the same time...

"I shouldn't really tell you about this, but..." I start in a voice which piques Ki's attention immediately. "Remember when Matt and I borrowed Harry's cloak...?"

"How could I forget?" she grins, which gives away she's thinking about those two kisses Matt and I shared that day, and I just roll my eyes at her.

"You can't tell anyone about this, especially not Theo but..."

So, I tell Ki how Matt came over the night before I had to temporarily steal Harry's invisibility cloak, but obviously, forget about the part where he pinned me to my bed after I'd woken him up and wanted to kiss him for the first time. She reacts more casually than I did – she seems like she wants to tell me about something as well, but maybe I'm seeing things and it's not the case.

"Are you dressed? Hope not," Theo's voice follows a line of knocks on the door, aborting the conversation we had going on, then the door opens and Theo's grin fades into a mock-disappointed frown, accompanied by a sigh. "Why hide those gorgeous bodies from a bit of attention?"

Semi-uncomfortably, I fix the tank top I have on – now thinking it was a bad idea to wear as it embraces my upper body completely, trying to resist the urge to pull the blanket on me completely and show that I am insecure about my skin and body.

Ki in the meantime grins at Theodore but flips him off as well.

Mattheo and Enzo follow Theo, the latter with some brownies in his hand, from which I already don't expect much because A, it was made by the boys who definitely are stupid to the kitchen, and B, because of the weed the cookies contain.

We all settle down on the floor and Ki pulls a box full of beverages out from under her bed. Of course, why'd I expect anything else?

"Thoughts on Potter?" Enzo speaks up as he places the plastic box in the middle of the circle next to the bottles of firewhisky and wine.

We share a look with Ki, and then I glance at Mattheo, and I don't answer.

"Attention seeker, he's–" Theo starts with a shrug but Kiara cuts him off.

"Let's not bring this up now."

Gratefully, I look over at her before opening the bottle of wine. I didn't have a headache this morning after last night's session in the Astronomy Tower but to say the least, I don't remember much.

"At least it's not one of our names, hm?" I try to look and sound reassuring as I take a long sip from the bottle.

A bottle of wine consumed into the night and Ki lies down on the floor. "I wanna kiss him so bad," she practically whines in misery.

Theo towers over her with a grin, "I'm here, Piccolina," but only earns Ki to push him away, at which we all tilt our heads.

"Not you, cazzo," she grunts and I chuckle, Mattheo and Enzo too, Theo looks offended. I've spent enough time with Kiara to know 'cazzo' means the same term of endearment I prefer to call McLaggen, like 90% of the time: prick. "Seb," she clarifies.

"Who?" Theo furrows his brows a bit possessively. At first, I have no idea either. But then it hits me.

"Harper," Enzo and I mutter together, and Mattheo snorts a laugh.

"The Astronomy teacher?" Matt shakes his head in a mix of shock, disbelief, and some humour and Theo places a hand over his heart overdramatically.

"Ow, Cara Mia, you wound me."

"Little Miss Daddy Issues," Enzo teases and Ki just laughs at him in the haze of her tipsiness.

"You know," Theo objects, "if you were my little girl, I'd do whatever I could do. Anything for you."

I laugh and shake my head at the entertainment. Whenever Theo drinks, he becomes more insistent. More possessive, he wants Kiara all to himself, all the time. I'm starting to think he's more into her than she is into him.

Ki keeps insisting on wanting and needing Professor Harper, so I come up with an idea when Theo looks almost hurt.

"Let's list the pros and cons," I shrug as I reach for my black notebook in my bag and open it at an empty page. Ki doesn't question anything, the boys do, by only sharing an intrigued, almost sceptical look.

Ki takes the notebook and the pencil and starts scribbling unstoppably.

daddy

tattoos

brown eyes

smash

sweet

kind

helpful

single,

I see as Ki places the notebook down in the circle, open.

"Bet his dick is tiny," Theo scoffs jealously.

"Bet it's bigger than yours," Mattheo teases with a grin, to which he earns an offended middle finger flip into the air from Theo's direction.

"Kind and sweet?" I raise my brows.

"Your first interaction with him was five points deprived of Slytherin," Enzo adds as he nods at me. I didn't think he'd come tonight – he's been pretty busy lately.

"Yeah, and like... he's our teacher," I continue.

"But," Ki takes the notebook again before showing us her new point with a finger pointing at the words.

HE’S ONLY 32 

"He's 32," I repeat with a look of disbelief and a disapproving shake of my head.

"Reversed paedophilia," Mattheo snorts while Theo's trying to come up with new insults about Seb's size.

"Could be your dad," Enzo adds.

Ki scoffs and shakes her head, "But he's only twice my age!"

"YES. twice your age, princess, he could’ve knocked your mum up when he was 16 and you’d be here," Matt rolls his eyes, using the pet name sarcastically, and I shoot him a glare.

"Fuck you, that's literally my life story," I shove him mock-offendedly

A few new pros follow this conversation on the paper.

perfect conversations

sassy

his smirk

he’s hot when he licks his lips

"When did you see him lick his lips?" Enzo frowns.

"I had to go stalk him with her today," I mutter in amusement as a response.

"But I can look sexy licking my lips, too!" Theo shakes his head.

cute smile

intense eye contact

tension between us

his lips seem soft

"Don't like his shoes," Matt rolls his eyes and with a nod, I agree. Professor Harper has these shiny, really elegant shoes which muggles wear to formal events.

"Don't like him," Theo adds gruffly, leaning back against Kiara's bed.

Feeling like my body needs a refill from the wine, I take another drag from the bottle, and then, after some convincing from Mattheo and Enzo, I try the brownies.

Theo at this point kind of gives in with resignation in his voice as he says, "At least he can give you House Points..." to which Kiara grins and with a nod writes it down. Then, she moves her hand to the top of the paper and writes only one word on top of the list in all caps:

HANDS

I frown – I've never really understood the thing with hands, so I shake my head. "What about hands?"

"WHAT ABOUT THEM?" she asks offendedly. "He has big, veiny hands that would make a great necklace."

I roll my eyes and scoff playfully, the brownies hitting already. "I have veiny piano hands and you don't look like you'd die to sit on my fingers."

"Why, you want me to?" she grins lightheartedly, almost flirtatiously.

I smirk back at her, not expecting more than the usual banter, "Please."

To that, Ki leans in whimsically, and I, playing along, start to close the gap between us as well until our lips meet in the middle, to my biggest surprise. I've never kissed Ki, let alone any girl but why does it feel kinda nice? Ki grabs my neck and pulls me in by gripping a handful of hair on the back of my neck, and I bite her bottom lip in response. Her sudden little moan at the sensation of my teeth sinking into the pink flesh takes me by surprise, and I grin against her lips. I feel the alcohol pumping in my veins and mixing with a sudden rush of adrenaline as I forget about the outer world, about kissing my best friend so eagerly while our other friends are probably staring at the escalating heated scenes. We end up kneeling up as we melt more against each other, and running my fingers through the silky locks of her hair, she shudders and lets out another involuntarily groan. I'm a little taken aback when she grabs my hips and pulls me closer, and how her hand then starts to travel up my body under my crop top, tugging the fabric up and revealing inches of skin. As we continue kissing each other frantically and hungrily, I can't help but tug her closer to me by hooking a finger into the waistband of her PJ pants, desperate to take control of the situation. But it's only a vain dream as she breaks the kiss to yank my head backwards to give herself better access to my neck, and she starts to nibble at the skin and leave a spot that for sure will be visible tomorrow. With foggy eyes, I look at Kiara the moment she pulls back and grins at me when she sees her dedicated work.

"My hickey looks good on you."

I smirk back at her, completely out of my head because of the effects of the weed and the alcohol, "Want one too?"

"Sure," the grin is impossible to be erased from her lips as she nods.

So, without any hesitation, I tug the neck of her shirt to the side to get to her collarbone and start sucking at the soft flesh over the stiff bones. This is how I receive her first hickey and she does mine.

Ki's technically stolen from me as Theo pouts, "My turn!" and he pulls my best friend closer to himself while trying to kiss her senseless to make her forget about the previous moments she shared with me possessively.

I turn back to Mattheo and Enzo in a dazed state and see them share a look. "Why was that kinda hot?" Matt asks.

tag list: @inksoakedparchment @mqstermindswift @reys-letters @girllblogging777

[sunthyme]

Ah... welcome to another instalment of my headcanons. I lowkey lied again but I think my prefect will be the last of the headcanons to come out. Tyty for all the love, as always, and now...

🪶The NRC Staff🪶

Trying to find characters I hadn't already twisted for my student ocs to make my staff ones was such a pain 😭😭😭 but here they are!!

🐦‍⬛Dire Crowley🐦‍⬛

(he/it) - Bisexual

The most USELESS HEADMASTER EVER!!! God, I know his SSR card looks great but I won't pull for it istg this bitch. We could have had Sam or Crewel but nooooo...

- I wanted him to look a bit older but since we don't know his age, I didn't push it too much. No spoilers for book 7 but I assume he's probably fae or smth idk.

- You'll notice I honestly didn't change much about the staff in general but I do like most of their design already. Kept his sclera dark cause it looked cool and made the gold eyes pop.

- He talks in a weird mix of old language that literally no one uses, like hella old-fashioned, and poorly used teen lingo. He's trying... A for effort, ig.

- His house and office are super cluttered with a ton of stuff he's found throughout the years but knows exactly where things are. His memory's actually incredibly good, he's just lazy. He likes to collect teaspoons.

- Later in the story, when he starts kinda view the prefect as his kid of sorts, it starts dropping off little trinkets at Ramshackle. Various things from old photos to books with old annotations to pretty rocks. He just wants the prefect to make the dorm 'more homey'.

- I'll get into this more with my prefect design but when Crowley attended NRC (in my headcanon idk if he actually did), he was a Ramshackle student. As such, my MC is using his old uniform as he didn't have any extra ones.

- He really likes cats but they just fcuking hate him. Lucius hisses everything he see Crowley. This is why he cries himself to sleep.

Enough of my dead-beat dad, onto the good dad!

🐕Divus Crewel🐕

(he/they) Transmasc - Panasexual

The good father-figure!! I love Crewel. Also, ignore me misspelling his name in the big one, I thought it had two 'l's...

- He is my Mexican father. Idk they give like simultaneously abuelita and Mexican mom vibes and I am so here for it. (Apparently also Jewish grandma vibes according to @thearchiveofalexandria but I wouldn't know lol).

- I also think he'd be older, like late 40s/early 50s but because of those anti-ageing Mexican genes, they look like 30. (Literally, my mom gets mistaken for being that young, she's in her 50s) Gave him some gray hair at the back but don't be fooled, that's just from putting up with Crowley's bullshit. The shit that goes down in-game for sure results in a couple grey hairs for poor Crewel.

- Is the father figure I never knew I needed, well, my prefect anyway. I know my MC would go to him for anything ranging from 'Crowley's threatening to cut off my water supply!' to 'Can you help me make a Halloween costume?' and his ass always helps. Stan Papa Crewel.

Oh god, this next one was HELL ON EARTH I hate drawing masculine men...

🏈Ashton Vargas🏈

(he/him) - Heterosexual

God, I hate Vargas' og design. The worst part is it does it's job, I couldn't find much to change. Also, didn't even know he had a first name lmaooo.

- I gave him more of a beard because it looked so fcuking bad without it ong 😭😭😭 I hated this... that's pretty much all I did.

- That being said, I do think Vargas wants the best for his students. Wait. Dad-bod Vargas. Guys, I just had an epiphany.

- He's got a wife, kids in like elementary school, and like two dogs idk. I feel like he's older thirties. He's giving total family man and likes to cheer on his students like they're his kids too.

- I feel like he's got mad ADHD and it's one of the reasons he became a gym teacher, just to be constantly moving and doing stuff.

My opinion of Vargas has increased while writing this. Onto my funky uncle...

🏷️Sam Cecil🏷️

(he/they/it) Genderqueer - Asexual Aromantic

I LOVE SAM!!📢📢

- They're like mid-twenties, I don't know if they went to college but if they did, they were a business major. I gave him a last name too, idk the fact that he didn't have one made me mad. Cecil cause Dr. Facilier had a daughter named Cecilia apparently.

- I tossed in a couple more piercings and I love the idea that he has tattoos too.

- He's like the fun uncle that occasionally sponsor your weird ideas. Wanna make cookies at 3am? His store's still open. Need some Nerf guns? He's got 'em. If he says it's in stock, he will literally have anything. Don't ask, he won't answer you anyway.

- Also has crazy good like and low-key knows the future but typically drops hints in a joking manner. He's also very good at communing with the dead, sales for sessions are discounted in October.

- Incredibly rich. Probably canon given his store branches and the crazy shit he has in his shop but I felt the need to reaffirm it.

- Also supplies Ramshackle with snacks and groceries. My MC works at its shop part time in return but I firmly believe that it'd refuse to let the MC starve.

Now for the gramps,

📚Mozus Trein📚

(he/him) Transmasc - Heterosexual

- Trans old man, idk. He is to me. Also, he's both the history and literature teacher.

- Also changed pretty much nothing lol, he's just an old trans man whose sick of Crowley's bullshit (you'll notice a running theme).

- All the grandpa memes and stereotypes are so true for him. His drinks tea every afternoon, plays chess with Crewel (that's canon btw), and squints whenever you try to show him something, especially on a phone.

- He uses a flip phone mobile-y but his house has a rotary one. His daughters keep telling him to replace it but he refuses, saying modern one are too complicated. His daughters also went to Royal Blade as he originally worked there before recently transferring to NRC.

- Hates pumpkin-flavoured anything so doesn't care much for fall. Winter is his favourite season though as he loves sitting with Lucius by the window on snowy days and reading. Very academiacore, gramps.

- He totally advocated for NRC to allow students to use preferred names.

Onto the ocs!!

🪐Mèng yáo Yuan🪐

(she/they/it) Agender - Biromantic Demisexual

- First up is Mèng yáo, twisted from the Horned King from The Black Cauldron. Never seen it personally but @thearchiveofalexandria has and recommended I use its villain.

- She's Chinese and a fae of sorts so she's likely quite old, though she looks in her twenties.

- She's the astrology and philosophy teacher because I thought it would make for a good course since it's mentioned in passing in Book 4.

- She's also skilled in potionology and she and Crewel test out potions for Crewel to teach in class. She is intrigued by the concept of immortality but it's more of a passive study for her.

- She's really bad at getting jokes, though she tries. She's generally not too familiar with modern human concepts but does her best to learn.

Finally,

💎Kore Gorgon💎

(she/her) - Sapphic

- Kore is based on Madame Medusa from The Rescuers, which, fair warning, I ALSO haven't seen. I really needed villains though lol. I read the wiki page and prayed tbh.

- She's around her mid-fifties and is the Math and Physics teacher. She works to integrate known magical physics with standard math and physics and teaches such.

- Her wife is named Crystal (based on an inspo character for Madame Medusa) and they're Kyra's adoptive parents. This is a small nod to Madame Medusa having two pet crocodiles. Kyra kept her parent's names as a sort of way to remember them but likes her adoptive moms a lot too.

- Kore's name is a reference to another name for Persephone and is associated with not only 'the maiden' with the underworld as well.

- She loves shiny things and adores being dressed to the nines all the time. She has a small collect of pretty rocks and tends to decorate her classroom with various trinkets.

- She and Crewel get along super well as their personalities are rather similar. (Fun fact: Madame Medusa not only was heavily inspired by Cruella De Vil, but also served as an origin for Ursula's design.)

- She has bipolar disorder and does her best to work around it, sometimes having pre-recorded lectures if she's not able to be in person.

I'll be sharing my designs for some side and family characters tomorrow so stay tuned! Love y'all!🩷🩷🩷