#lucifer I wouldn't

[projectbluearcadia]

So Momifer Might Have Lied...

[ Partial Season 1 Spoilers for Obey Me!

Readers Be Warned. ]

Lucifer: Stay here. 

[simultaneous] Satan: No. Mammon: No! Beel: No. Asmo: No way! Levi: Yeah, lol nope. 

Lucifer: ...you’ve all gotten awfully bold. 

Asmo: Probably because we know you too well. 

Levi: Yeah, it’d be typical Lucifer to say he’s going out for milk and never coming back. 

Beel: Why milk?

Levi sighs. 

Levi: Nevermind. 

Lucifer: Let me put this another way. You’re all staying here, or you’re not helping me find Annelie. 

Satan: And just what are you doing that you can’t take us with? If it has to do with Annelie, we have a right to know.

Lucifer: It doesn’t. It’s just a loose end. 

His brothers stare at him with mistrust.

Mammon: Fine. Go tie up your loose ends or whatever.   

Everyone, Lucifer included, turns to Mammon with surprise. 

Mammon: What are you even waitin’ for? Time’s a wastin’, so go!

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer turns towards the House of Lamentation before he runs inside, back into the attic. 

Belphie: ...

Lucifer: ...

Belphie: ...

Lucifer: You heard everything, right?

Belphie: I wish I didn’t hear anything.

Lucifer: You know what I’m going to ask, don't you?

Belphie: I didn’t hear that much. I’m surprised enough you dared show your face again so soon.

Lucifer: Annelie is in a dreamworld space. 

Belphie: ...you have a lot of nerve, you know that?

Lucifer: You might hate me, but Annelie is an innocent demon. 

Belphie: You think I ca—

Mammon: BELPHIE?!

Lucifer: Mammon!

Belphie: Mammon?!

Lucifer: How did you even get in here? I’m certain I—

Mammon points at the heart in Lucifer’s hand, and he glances at it, confused, before his gaze finds the faint red tracery of magic lining the door to the attic. Lucifer sighs and nurses the bridge of his nose.

Lucifer: Oh, Annelie... 

Mammon: What’s he doin’ here?! I thought he was in an exchange program back in the human world?!

Lucifer: Mammon, this is not the time...

Mammon: You’ve had our brother locked up here this entire time?!

Lucifer: I can explain later. 

Mammon: IS THIS SOMETHING YOU EXPLAIN LATER?!

Lucifer: ...

Belphie seems to be enjoying the show. 

Lucifer: There were... circumstances. It’s too complicated for me to explain right now. Believe me; I didn’t do it because I wanted to. 

Mammon: ...

Belphie: Yeah, right. You all made your choice. 

Annelie: I know I’m a little late to the conversation, and this might be a bit of a bad time, but can you hear me?

Lucifer: What? Yes, of course. 

Mammon: Oi, Annie! Can you hear us?

Annelie: I can hear you, Mammon. Though it’s a bit difficult. I was wondering what on earth you could be keeping up that stairwell, but your little brother? Seriously? 

Lucifer: Annelie, I don’t need criticism from you right now. 

Annelie: Yeah, sorry, that’s off-topic. I don’t know how long I can hold this connection, but I don’t have much to go on here. The only things with me here are the note that weird god-demon-thing left with me and an old-fashioned grandfather clock that won’t stop its infernal damn ticking. The stupid antique is indestructible. 

Lucifer: What you gave me already is more than enough; the realm of ideation is something Belphegor can explore freely. 

Annelie: I was kind of hoping you’d give me some pointers on busting my way out of here. 

Mammon: Tried kicking the wall?

Annelie: What’d he say?

Lucifer: Brute force would be her first thought, Mammon. 

Annelie: For your information, I used my head first before I lost my patience, you ass. 

Lucifer: Haha. 

Annelie: You—You’re trying to get a rise out of me?!

Lucifer: Sorry; I had to hear the sass in your voice to know it was you. 

Annelie: Remind me why I love you again?

Lucifer: Because you would never settle for any less than the best. 

Annelie: Your pride is disgusting. 

Lucifer: I miss you. 

Annelie: ...damn you. 

Lucifer: Too late for that. 

Belphie: This is actually disgusting. 

Mammon: You said it. 

Annelie: Says the man who says my name in his sleep.  

Mammon flushes red. 

Lucifer: He what?

Annelie: Wait, you didn’t know about that? Whoops. Sorry, Mammary.

Mammon: IT WAS ONE TIME!

Annelie: Not the last time I checked. 

Lucifer: We’re going to have a long talk after Annelie’s home. 

Belphie: You sound so confident when I have zero intention of helping. 

Mammon: What? Why not?

Belphie: Why should I?

Mammon: Because Annie’s family! 

Belphie: Like that means anything to you. 

Mammon flinches like he’s just been slapped.  

Annelie: Belphegor, was it? I’m not going to ask what happened, because I don’t think I’m going to get anything out of anyone unless I grill Lucifer while he’s half-insane with lust—

Belphie: Ew. 

Annelie: —but for as stupid as your brothers are, you should know that the one thing they all care about is each other. Particularly Lucifer and Mammon. Both of them would endure literally anything if it means they can protect everyone else. For the Devildom’s sake, just the other day, Lucifer spent hours upon hours negotiating with the exhausted RAD staff just so they’d get off Mammon’s back, despite the fact that he had plenty of other work to do.

Lucifer: You don’t have to say such unnecessary things.

Annelie: You think Mammon doesn’t know already? Anyway, Belphegor, I don’t know what happened, and I don’t care. I care about these morons too much to listen to you insult their core values. 

Belphie: ...you realize I’m the only one here who can get you out of there, right?

Annelie is silent for several moments. 

Annelie: To be honest, I have my doubts that I’ll ever see Lucifer again. I’m probably sacrificing part of my life just talking. If I never see him again, I’d rather die knowing that I tried to do what I think I should do rather than just let myself be dictated by someone’s expectations. 

Belphie: ...give the heart to me. 

Lucifer looks down at it, then at Belphie. 

Belphie: I’ll find her for you. Give it here. 

[simultaneous] Lucifer & Annelie: Why do I feel like you’re going to throw it on the ground?

Annelie: Hexed. You owe me a coffee. 

Lucifer: Who taught you that ridiculous... nevermind. 

Belphie: Well, it’s either me or she dies, right?

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer looks down at the heart again before he gives it to Belphegor.

[5mary5]

I need to bite him

It should be ILLEGAL to look this good

[feathers-second-face]

OH!!! OH!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS??

DO YOU SEE IT??

SHE'S TOUCHING HIS SHOULDER!!

Oh mah gawd. He doesn't let anyone touch him unless they're his friends.

If they aren't his friends, he'll either lean away or wipe off his hand. He hates being touched if he's not the one initiating it, to the point of wiping his sleeve off when Lucifer's hat just BARELY grazed against it.

He didn't wipe his shoulder off when Charlie stopped touching him either.

AND!!!

And!!!

Before You Say 'He did lean away', or 'She wasnt actually touching him, her hand was just near him', Take A Look At This!!

Look closely at how he moves when she splits them up. He doesn't lean away, she SHOVED him. She actively MOVED him. That wasn't an 'oh she's making contact with me, guess I should lean away', it was a 'well she's shoving me now, I'll shut up for a minute'.

Which also proves she WAS touching him. She couldn't have shoved him if she wasn't making contact.

He didn't lean away from it, he didn't retaliate. The ONLY people he lets touch him are people he cares for. And not only did she put her hand on his shoulder, she actively pushed him back, and he showed no sign of discomfort towards it. So why am I screaming about this?

Because he DOES care! It proves he cares for her. Don't get me wrong, I still think saying he's her 'dad' is a bit of a strech, but he does care enough to let her touch him. He doesn't dislike or even have a neutral opinion on her. She's his friend, even if just a little bit.

Just an edit to clarify; I know 'friends' is probably also not the best word to use, but it's just the easiest way for me to describe it.

[atlantis-area]

Throwback SHINee: Jonghyun at Inkigayo (Lucifer, 100725)

[of-spaceships-and-cats]

I'm late, but here's an art dump of the lovable idiots from @morningstarwrites OSAS. Specifically Ch. 19. Ignore how chaotically different they all are; I was experimenting lol. They're all so silly to draw!

[indigo-anonymous]

That latest chapter of Splinter Fractures made me cry! Wasn't the first, won't be the last I bet. I didn't think this would be my first semi-finished (pretend it's not just a coloured sketch) fanart of this fic, and I'm definitely going to be making more still :))

[aro-in-danyl]

Helluva ships - featuring Radioapple

Mammon does in fact tattle to Lucifer about Asmodeus and Fizz's relationship. Let's say the Helluva timeline lines up with Lucifer and Alastor getting closer sometime after season 1.

Lucifer doesn't know why Mammon bothered, even if Lucifer didn't have whatever was going on between him and Al -- he still wouldn't give a fuck. And he'd give even less of a fuck considering Mammon was still committing copyright infringement for his park, the audacity of that man was astronomical.

Still, Mammon calls a meeting to spill the tea because even he knows Lucifer is a hermit who does not keep up with the drama of Hell's so-called elite.

Asmosdeus finds out and therefore Blitzø finds out. So they all crash the meeting to give Mammon what-for. Fizz and Blitzø because they've never met Lucifer and think he's going to be pissed. Moxxie and Millie because Blitzø lied about where they were going and refused to let them leave. Stolas for moral support (and he's also never met the King, sue him, he's excited despite the circumstance) and Ozzie because he couldn't stop them so he might as well join them.

Following multiple very unnecessary pit-stops and shenanigans, they finally arrive at the palace---and it's too late.

Alastor has already kicked Mammon out and now he and Lucifer are doing paperwork, gossiping, and fighting over the (according to Alastor) tacky interior design of the palace.

The Helluva gang bust in (Blitzø is on a horse for some reason, he's very happy about this) and it's very anti-climatic.

Asmodeus: so you...don't care that I'm in love with an imp?

Lucifer, dad mode: You're in love? I'm so proud of you!

Blitzø: Just to be clear, I'm fucking this bird, there's nothing you can do about it

Lucifer: Okay??

Alastor: Darling, they think you care about hell's hierarchy

Lucifer: Oh! Yeah, uh-no. That'd be pretty hypocritical of me considering [gestures to Alastor]

The Helluva crew leave the palace once Lucifer and Alastor start bickering again looking like they've escaped a hurricane, wondering if they should be sending the King of Hell a 'Congratz on the Divorce' card.

Moxxie: ...does this mean we have two Kings now?

[cosmicstarlatte]

[Lucifer cleaning his horns]

MC: Lookin' kinda horny there sir

Lucifer:

Lucifer: seriously why are you like this

[yurislilygarden]

ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel

ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self-aware and first thoughts about reader!

ʚїɞ Charlie Morningstar and Vaggie / Part 3!

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Word count: just below 1.2k

ʚїɞ Part 1! (Lucifer and Alastor) Part 2 (Angel Dust and Husk)

ʚїɞ Not me casually posting like it hasn't been months since the 2nd part... ANYWAY... This took WAY too long but it's here!!!! This is shorter than I wanted, but I already knew it would be short as I don't grasp these two too well imo, so I didn't have too much to say here. Probably will rewrite it one day if I ever decide I got better with their characters as I would love for this to be longer <3

Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch.

While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:

Charlie

Fright, confusion, frustration

Charlie didn't know what to think at first. On one side, she, and everyone else, are 2D characters on a show for fucks sake, but on the other side, you didn't do anything to them. She would be the only one (in hell) to not be outright negative about you, she started out at the neutral zone.

Whether the others were already aware or not, they could notice a change in her behavior for a few days after the situation hits her. To think that the 200+ years that she thought that she was alive was actually a lie, fake, would be a hard fact to swallow. Her being rightfully confused about the situation, many questions filled her head and she had no answers. Like father, like daughter, if you will.

What exactly do you want from them? Can you do something else besides watching them? Do you want to do something more? Would you talk to them directly if you could? Do you-

Yeah, she's like her father in that aspect.

She was curious on just how much would change if they weren't in a show, no, if they had a choice in anything, since they wouldn't exist without the show. The thought may give her nightmares. Could her relationship with her dad be better than what it is? Could she do more for hell? Would her mother still be here and not missing? 

Some frustration could come in early on, as she was already stressed about the hotel, but also trying to keep everyone from being negative about you. While they didn't know much, you didn't show any malicious intent, which in her books was enough to not outright dislike you. She would be pretty close to the negative zone in the first few days, but it would quickly turn to neutral upon knowing she wasn't the only one to know, and being told what little they knew.

She didn't even look for the signs of everything around them being just wrong, she didn't need to. She would just sit there and realize how quiet everything was outside, how many memories that she previously thought she had, seemed to be actually lacking in existence.

As for whether she would be disappointed in herself for not noticing earlier or not, I see two options.

One, she wouldn't be necessarily really disappointed in herself for not noticing, at least not as much as some of the others upon finding out and processing the fact that there were people who noticed before her, but also that there were people who didn't realize after her.

Then there's the second option where I can imagine her being immensely disappointed in herself for not noticing much, much sooner. She’s the princess of hell, she should’ve noticed it! She would be overthinking that if something happened before she became self-aware, she wouldn't have been able to help in any way. She wouldn't be aware of it.

She may have not been the first to notice your presence, but she wasn't the last, which gave her a little bit of comfort either way.

She would be in the “can only watch” team with not much hesitation about it, and in the neutral zone from pretty much the start.

Vaggie

Anger, frustration and hatred

One of the few who would hate you the moment they processed everything. At first, her thoughts weren't the most rational, going off of negative feelings in panic and in general, but what she thought about you didn't change much even after she calmed down. She despised the thought of her, them all, being some bullshit made-up characters for someone to enjoy. She started out in the negative zone with no hesitation. She really tried not to think about the fact that she, none of them, were ever truly alive, that her whole life, existence, was fake to her very core.

After she became self-aware, she tried to find signs she missed before and it pained her when she realized how obvious everything was. She couldn't remember most of the things besides what was showed on the screen for you, the outside of the hotel wasn't filled with screaming 24/7 a day like she thought it was, there wasn't even anyone outside when she looked outside. It was painfully obvious and yet she, none of them, realized it fast enough for her liking.

She would be pissed and assume you like seeing them suffer, because why would you just watch as another character got rid of her eye? Why would you just watch bad things happen and do nothing? It’s frustrating as hell to her that she can’t do shit to you/your form and the only thing she can really do is sit back, observe, and watch as things happen, unable to do anything… ironic, isn’t it?

Unlike Charlie, she would for sure be heavily frustrated and disappointed in herself for not noticing anything earlier, the fact that she wasn't in the first 3 to notice after being told everything didn't help her inner thoughts, especially with how protective she can be.

If she became self-aware before Charlie, she would be unexplainably more protective of her (and others but she would try to not make it as obvious), until her girlfriend became self-aware herself and understood the reason (Charlie would still think its a little bit too much since she would think you were completely harmless to them). She would act in a similar fashion to finding out before Charlie if she were the latter to find out, but her actions wouldn't be as concealed due to the reasons already being known.

Would make her hatred clear whenever they were on the topic of you, or when your butterfly form was around them. Vaggie would throw you a glare the moment she knows you couldn't see her without hesitation. Tried to stab you through your small body or wing with her spear to see if she could (do some damage back) hurt you, only to be disappointed when it just phased right through you.

Vaggie would be on the “only watches but can do more” team, and start out heavily in the negative zone, before, Charlie would get her to the neutral zone with some time.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

｡⋆｡˚ ʚ Taglist ɞ ˚｡⋆｡

@laundrybear413 @leathesimp

[rius-cave]

Lucifer: I love my wife so much

Asmodeus: You and Lilith got back together?

Lucifer: nope! re-married actually!

Bee: ooh, can we see the picture of the lucky gal?

Lucifer: hmmm, sure!

*he shows multiple pictures of Adam he has saved in his phone*

Asmodeus: ... isn't that Adam?

Lucifer: Yup! Isn't he soooo cute in these photos?

Oh the sins are going to have an interesting dinner if they all get together for sinsmas or whatever kdfjgkdfjgdkf

[inuhalfdemon]

[Lucifer]: Oh, Al!!! I got us a dog!

[Alastor]: Eh...I'm not really a dog person.

[Lucifer]: I know.(proudly holds up a three-headed snarling chihuahua)

[Alastor]: DID YOU HAVE TO PICK THE SCARIEST FUCKING ONE!?

[Lucifer]: Her name is 'Duckie'!!!

[allastoredeer]

manlyman al/uwu lucifer, buff al/skinny lucifer, lucifer in a drag with al dressed in a suit - all the same crap, it's also very noticeable how much of luci in dress with al in a suit there is and how little the other way around or when they both in dresses and also luci in dress? 10000+ likes, while rare alastor in dress? well, barely 1000 or 2000. Same with any reverse of usual fandom versions of them. Very telling if you ask me. Blond, short, goofy, did a sad face few times? Of course it's the one who's we gonna make a girly girl here and there's can be only one in our mlm ship 🙄 People want fanon charlastor but without charlie in it because she's actually a female

Damn, you came in swinging.

But, like...I see no lies here. It is kind of funny that people put Lucifer in dresses more than Alastor when Alastor literally wore a nun outfit in the show. It's such a shame too because with Al's long legs and slim waist, DAMN he'd look so good in dresses.

It is very telling that in every fandom space, with at least one pairing - usually a very popular one - one of two becomes a girly girl and the other a darker, menacing, and more intimidating manly man. There's nothing wrong with feminine male characters, nor them being in mlm relationship, but when it happens to every. Single. Ship. where the characters are stripped down to basic archetypes.... ಠ_ಠ

It really is funny, because going by what we've seen in the show, Alastor is so much more of a girly pop than Lucifer is. Him and all his little wrist flicks and sassy remarks.

I mean

Look at this guy

Look at him

LOOK AT HIM

LOOOOOOK AT HIMMMMMMMM

How can people see this man as a super serious big bad muscle daddy? I don't understand. He's so unserious. So full of whimsy. He's a clowning troll. And I'm telling you, look at that thin waist and those long legs. He'd look amazing in a dress.

This actually reminds me of a previous ask I got a while back. The topic was centered around some fans saying that Alastor would never bottom and the over all characterizations of him and Lucifer, and this line here sums it up perfectly:

"shows such a patriarchal-ly drenched heterosexual view of sex, that they then apply to a MLM ship that drives me INSANE."

Particularly, the drenched in a patriarchally heterosexual view. Having one man in a mlm relationship be more feminine than the other is totally okay, there is nothing wrong with that, and there are a lot gay relationships like that.

But the way a lot of radioapple is depicted feels weirdly heterosexual, and it's because of the behaviors and archetypes that get assigned to them. Lucifer becomes this teeny tiny, wide-eyed, awkward little waif and Alastor this big dark possessive boyfriend who's always looming over his shoulder and glaring at anyone who looks at Lucifer. It reads like every other cringy straight romance I've read. Add in the trope of Alastor drinking Lucifer's blood and it's basically "Twilight" set in Hell.

Okay, not to derail, but there was this one AU that I was obsessed with. It's a Hades/Peresphone AU for radioapple, and it sounded amazing, but there were so many depictions of Alastor as Hades and Lucifer as Persephone and I was just...

I was flabbergasted.

You have Lucifer, the king of Hell, the DEVIL himself, be the goddess of spring instead of the Lord of the Underworld. I'm....whut?!!?!?! Alastor is literally a deer, he would be perfect to play Persephone. That guy would be hunting down all the people poaching and harming his domain and making them suffer, and I can totally see Niffty as a psycho little nymph that tags along on his "hunting trips."

I've seen one or two au's where Alastor is Persephone and Lucifer is Hades, and they are glorious, but every time I see the opposite I feel like I'm taking psychic damage. A year of my life gets taken away. I fear I'll be on my death bed soon.

Also this line "People want fanon charlastor but without charlie in it because she's actually a female" it's so true to fandom it hurts, but it's so fucking funny, I'm wheezing

You ate with this ask 🤌

[onesidedradiostatic]

this is the ONLY thing I will ever post about vox x adam because going back to this scene after that possibility was revealed to me made me lose my shit. I fucking hate it.

(real talk though they'd have like a one night stand then adam would call vox the f slur and vox would drop him immediately)

[avionvadion]

I feel like this might be early Angel??? Before Husker gets him to open up and trust/be real around everyone- so before Sir Pentious joins, too.

I don't think he would intentionally ditch her, but I think Angel would forget she was there after a couple drinks and after flirting with some other Sinners, and she has to call Lucifer for help when she ends up surrounded. Angel realizes what happened, gets hit with guilt- watching Lucifer teleport away with a crying El- and starts taking protecting her more seriously afterwards. His invitations outside the hotel become more genuine, too, noticing she never really leaves unless Lucifer calls- and he teleports her, so it still doesn't count as leaving.

Anyways! After the incident, El feels very unsafe/uncomfortable and probably just sits in a corner until Lucifer pulls her into a dance to try and cheer her up. It works. By this point, Lucifer is moving on from the divorce, so he stopped wearing his wedding ring.

...I have no idea when the spicy drawing takes place, I just... wanted to draw it... a-ahem.

First time drawing Angel Dust, Alastor, and Husker! Here's hoping Alastor doesn't murder me in my sleep for where I unintentionally placed him. Oof. I feel like I got his color scheme slightly off (the colors don't really feel bright enough to me) but I tried.

Bonus doodle!

[falling-star-cygnus]

y'all were so sweet about Duckie Deer!! im like- crying, im so happy y'all liked it :D

without further ~ado~ here's pt.2!

{His chest hurt.}

{Alastor would never admit it, how the constant tug kept a persistent ache all the way to the back of his throat. He couldn't afford to be seen as anything less then what he's portrayed himself as to his friends the rest of the hotel's residents}

{The Radio Demon was not weak.}

{Unfortunately, Alastor's embarrassing little tumble into the micro King of Hell's staff had aggravated the gash an... unprecedented amount. He needed to retreat, lick his wounds before making his daily appearance.}

{His new rubber duck stared him down from it's perch above his fireplace. It's gaze was... eerily judgmental for an inanimate toy}

{Alastor turned the thing around}

{Clearing his throat, and maybe feeling a bit silly at his actions, the Radio Demon takes care of his hinderance as quickly and effectively as he can. Which was... less effective then he'd prefer. But there's little to be done about holy injuries.}

{He snaps his fingers to get his attire back into place as a somewhat hesitant knock fills the once trembling air}

{Perfect timing, Alastor thinks. He expects it to be Charlie on the other side, or maybe Husker given the reluctant tapping on the wood. He should really apologize to that cat}

{He's not expecting it to be Lucifer}

"Well, this is a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure of having the shortest king in Hell at my doorway?"

{Predictably, Lucifer rises to the bait without fail. His angry sputtering is hilarious in his own right, and a welcome distraction to the pinch in the deer's side}

"I will have you know I am a decent height. You are just abnormally tall!"

{Alastor blinks slowly, tilting his head in that condescending way that he knows to irritate even the most level headed of sinners. Now if only he could find a way to prevent his ears from canting with it. Infernal things.}

"Of course, your highness-" "Lucifer." "Yo- hm?"

{The Radio Demon's sarcastic quip dies before reaching fruition, caught off guard by the sudden interruption}

"Talking in the third person now, your royal shortness?" "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

{Alastor's sardonic grin is enough of an answer}

"Ugh- No. Just call me Lucifer. It feels weird having one of Charlie's friends call me by my title."

{Friends. There's that word again. Alastor doesn't do friends, he refuses to lower himself to that standard. It doesn't matter that he nearly died for them. That he might still die for them, if he can't sort his current hinderance out. It doesn't matter that he might find their presence enjoyable entertaining from time to time. It doesn't matter that he'd do it again}

{His stay at this hotel is far from permanent.}

"Alastor?" "Yes, your majesty?"

{The wendigo snaps back to the conversation, barely aware of how deeply he had sunk into his own head. Lucifer's face twitches with annoyance}

{Good, Alastor thinks. This conversation was dredging somewhere far too vulnerable}

"Stubborn ass- hey, why's your duck turned around?"

{The sudden shift in the conversation nearly gives Alastor whiplash, leaving Lucifer an opening to bully his way inside the room. Not like it took much of it, all things considered, the wendigo had flinched away from his probing hands like a doe at footsteps}

{His bite-sized majesty examines the red and black duck, looking confused at why the little thing was facing the wall; either blissfully ignorant or thankfully unwilling to acknowledge how he got in. Alastor's ears pin back before he can stop them}

"It was looking at me weird."

{He hadn't meant to say that.}

{Lucifer stares at him blankly for what feels like hours. The deer braces himself for whatever insult the king will throw at him with the ammo he had just carelessly provided}

"You feel it too!?"

{What.}

"Like- they're so judgmental looking for having such happy faces!"

{The red duck is hardly happy looking in the first place! At least to Alastor. More… akin to cheerfully mournful}

“I didn’t do anything to it. If that’s what you were thinking-”

{Wrong thing to say, Lucifer winces and cuts himself off. The screech of feedback only further proves that he had planted seeds of paranoia in the already skittish Radio Demon. Fast blooming seeds}

{Damnit}

“What did you say?” “Ok- ok, i shouldn’t have said that- But really it’s just a normal rubber duck-! That switches hands! You liked that part, remember?”

{Maybe if he talks fast enough he can smooth this over before Alastor lashes out}

{He really should’ve known better}

{Lucifer lets Alastor prowl closer and snatch the duck from his hands. Close but not touching. His smile is fraught, held up by mere threads that Lucifer can’t see}

“Really, your highness? Resorting to monitoring me. And here I nearly took your ‘gift’ as a gesture of good will. My mistake.” “It was a gesture of good will!”

{Alastor scoffs in disbelief, his voice heavily distorted by radio transmissions as his red sclera turns black}

{The poor rubber duck wheezes pitifully under the force of the wendigo’s slowly crushing grip. Oddly enough, it seems to capture the Radio Demon’s full attention. His grip on the little thing softens, a conflicted expression flitting over his face as the duck returns to its normal shape}

{Lucifer feels emboldened when he realizes why, near giddy if he was being completely transparent. He grabs both of the deer’s lower arms, ignoring the screech of static}

“I swear on Charlie, it’s just a normal rubber duck.”

{Alastor falters, ears twitching back as he subconsciously wrests for control of them. Lucifer would never bet his precious daughter if he wasn’t being completely honest about this and they both know it}

“…That switches hands.”

{The royal armrest beams at the response. Alastor immediately regrets giving him an out. It does get Lucifer to let go of his arms, though, so- small heh victories.}

“Exactly, I knew you liked that part!”

{The wendigo rolls his eyes fondly. Things seem blurry as he fixes the little thing back into its place, properly surveying the room this time. His blinks feel sticky, like something was forcing the deer out of his head. Vaguely, he can make out Lucifer's jumbled words}

"Alastor?"

{Get a grip, Alastor scolds himself. His breaths feel like they're coming in through a whistle. They squeak like it too, much to his horror}

{The Radio Demon's knee buckles}

"Alastor!"

{A cool, smooth hand blocks his head from hitting the corner of his shelf. It's almost disturbing how quickly the deer loses his dignity and falls into it}

{One little stumble, a single trip in the carefully crafted pace he had set for himself and his whole visage crumbled. In front of the king of hell no less!}

{Still... Alastor can't help but feel a little grateful that it's not Charlie. For some reason, worrying the princess makes the ache in his chest seem small in comparison}

{The deer demon comes to laid up in his bed, coat missing. Panic builds up in throat; what happened? Why was he partially undressed? He was talking with the king of hell and then... and then what?}

{Alastor feels- ugh feels- strangely nothing as he pushes himself up. No tightening, no pinch in his throat, no... pain?}

{His comforter slips down to pool around his waist, the heady panic he had been trying to stave off reaching a fever pitch as he realizes his shirt is unbuttoned. All his scars on display}

{Except... fresh, clean bandages hug his exposed torso; they obscure anything that might be even slightly revealing and that... eases the wendigo somewhat. He's not in pain, he's covered, he's safe}

"You're awake!"

{Lucifer doesn't recall there being a turntable in the room. And then he realizes the record scratch came from the Radio Demon}

"Wow, you really make... just a bunch of weird sounds, don't you?" "Why, whatever do you mean?"

{Deflect, deflect, deflect-}

"Are we really going to pretend like you didn't just nearly die right now? I was- Charlie could've gotten worried, you know!"

{Alastor's ears pin back, warning static beginning to fill the room as the shadows thrash on the walls}

"She doesn't know, of course. I figured you wouldn't... appreciate that. It was the least I could do after-" "What do you want." "Pardon?"

{The deer glares at Lucifer. His smile aches and pulls at the corners uncomfortably. Shoving himself to his feet- hooves, his boots have been removed- Alastor leans down to Lucifer's level}

"Do you really think me so naïve as to believe you did this for no other reason then the peace of mind of your child? What. Do. You. Want-"

{He barely jerks back fast enough to avoid the white duck thrust at his nose. It's a little rendition of the king himself, complete with a top hat and six little pairs of wings. The wendigo blinks}

"Am I a storage unit to you?" "Do you want the duck to stop looking judgmental?"

{Alastor puts the duck on his shelf}

{Embarrassingly, he only then thinks to fix his improper state of dress. With a snap, the Radio Demon clears his throat}

"If that is all, neither of us will speak of this-"

{Lucifer acts on instinct, catching the suddenly fatigued deer with a hand around his waist. And then he promptly bluescreens.}

{One. hand. One hand! Around the whole thing! He knew Alastor was somewhat emaciated just from when he was fixing the holy wound on his chest- seriously, why did he keep that a secret, but this was whole other ballpark!}

"Uh... we gotta stop parting ways like this." "I completely agree."

{The deer melts into shadows again, but unlike last time doesn't reappear anywhere in the room. Lucifer can't help the twinge of worry annoyance that sparks up in his chest}

{Seriously, he had just warned that guy that using his power so soon would- ooh.}

{He didn't mention that part, did he?}

[sandraharissa]

the only thing I remember from my dream today is that Luci kissed Alastor and then I was like, 'hold on that's not right' and I woke up