#loves his team too much. if any of them got compromised he would be heartbroken

[agentsploon]

a doodl bc i could not help it. manwhore all dressed up in his casuals

[christowhore]

The Thing About Trust

pairing: mob!steve rogers x girlfriend!reader

summary: an anonymous email was sent, loyalties were questioned, and unforgivable actions were made. unfortunately, by the time the truth is uncovered, it’s already too late.

word count: 6.1k

warnings: ANGST, steve is completely ooc, ‘betrayal’, yelling, slight domestic violence, slapping, excessive drug use & alcohol consumption, heartbreak, no happy endings

notes: this is my submission for @egcdeath ‘Sitcom Challenge’. congrats on 400, i hope you enjoy ! 💗

join my taglist ! ❦ main masterlist

prompt: character a and character b have a nasty misunderstanding that could be solved with a conversation

quote: “I wish I could. But, I don’t want to.” - Phoebe Buffay, Friends

Steve stared at his computer screen, his body filled with a combination of disbelief, fear, and anger. The scotch filled glass that was clutched in his grasp was threatening to shatter under the sheer force of his hold.

For the past few months, 5 of his undercover business fronts were raided. All of them being discovered by the police right when a new shipment of product was brought in, almost as if they knew all about it.

He suspected that there was a mole, there was no other way that the feds could’ve known about the interchanging schedules, unless someone from within was feeding it to them.

It was a notion that he never thought would come up. Being the leader of the Rogers Crime Family, everyone knew not the mess with him. He oozed power and danger was evident in his gaze in any off chance you were met with it. So it was tough to think someone on his trusted team could have betrayed him.

The only person that he could trust without a shadow of a doubt was his right hand man, Bucky. Their long lasting friendship going all the way back to when they were kids. They’ve been through thick and thin together, so it was only obvious that he shared his suspicions with the man.

Steve asked him to check on all the guys on his crew, and make sure that no one was compromised, but his efforts came back fruitless. Everybody on his team appeared to be clean and not conspiring with the feds.

He was about to give up hope when he got an anonymous email that morning. The letter, with a simple heading stating ‘Figure Out Your Mole Yet?’, broke his heart upon opening it.

In the attachment was a photo of you, standing under a bridge in Central Park, a not-so-disguised undercover police detective right in front of you, with an outstretched hand.

He didn’t want to believe that you were the culprit, the one who was dismantling his business from within. Yet, he was riddled with so much frustration that he didn’t bear in mind to just outright ask you about the meaning behind the image.

You two had been dating for 3 years. It was by fortunate chance that he bumped into you one afternoon, spilling your iced coffee across the entirety of your blouse. He was about to mutter a quick apology and go about his business when he locked eyes with you, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. It didn’t take much for him to convince you to go on a date with him, in an effort to make up for staining your shirt.

Only after that single dinner did he know that you were the one for him. He invited you into his home and showed you the ways of his business. So it was an understandable assumption that you might be behind it all.

The blonde showed it to Bucky, and watched his eyes bulge out at the revelation, just like his own did.

“No, this can’t be,” he said incredulously. Bucky thought the world of you, you were like a little sister to him. The thought of you betraying the ones who loved you the most had him feeling heartbroken.

Steve shook his head in disbelief, “Buck, she’s the only other person who’s been in the room for these meetings. She knows the ins and outs of the business. And besides, you checked everyone else and they were clean, unless it’s you I need to look into.”

The brunette playfully smacked his shoulder, “Yeah real funny. You and I both know the shit that I’ve done. No way in hell I’d be anywhere near the cops.”

The pair both sat there, pondering over how to go about their newfound knowledge and their next course of action.

An idea came into Bucky’s mind, “I don’t want to- cause I still want to think she’s innocent in all of this, but we can set up a trap. If the place doesn’t get raided, then we know whoever sent that in is just trying to fuck with you. But if it does…” His voice trailed off at the disappointing thought of your possible betrayal.

Steve pondered over the plan for a minute, then slowly nodded.

“Fine, set it up.”

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

The atmosphere in the meeting room was incredibly tense that afternoon, the sound of the grandfather clock ticking with every passing second. The usual occupants of his weekly gathering consisted of Sam, Clint, Lemar, John, and of course Bucky. The only other regular that they were waiting on was you.

Steve’s leg bounced due to impatience. It wasn’t rare that you would show up a few minutes late, claiming that you were busy finishing up a tv episode or trying out a new recipe in the kitchen or some other excuse. But with the speculation regarding your loyalty, all he could think about is that you were secretly figuring out a plan to knock down more pegs in his empire.

The mahogany doors flew open as you waltz in without a care in the world, “Sorry baby, nail appointment ran late.”

He watched with narrowed eyes as you made your way around the large oak desk and all of its inhabitants to stand beside him.

You leaned down in hopes of a kiss but was instead met with a hostile gaze from your boyfriend, the intensity had you faltering and taking a step back. “Baby, what’s wrong?” you questioned, your voice full of concern, “Is everything alright?”

Steve surveyed your face in search of any sign of treachery, a slight glimmer of deceit, but couldn’t find any.

“Yeah, (Y/N), everything’s fine. Why don’t you take a seat, we’re just about to start.”

His rigid tone and questioning eyes had you feeling anxious. And the fact that he didn’t address you with one of the multitude of pet names he assigned you didn’t make you feel any better. So you cautiously sat down in the chair beside him.

You took notice of the change of his behavior over the past few days. Everything seemed normal one morning, then when he came to bed his responses to you were short, apprehensive even. Sort of like he was biting his tongue around you.

The usual early mornings that were filled with slow love making and soft conversations were replaced with you waking up by your lonesome to a cold and empty bed.

Whenever you tried to talk to him, Bucky would continuously inform you that he was busy and to try later.

There was even a change with your mutual best friend. The brunette who would always crack jokes with you began to ignore your playful banter. His usual caring looks turned into piercing stares, as if you had suddenly become the enemy.

You tried to go over in your mind what could’ve caused this shift. You knew that there had been some busts in a few of his businesses, the police closing in on his activities. But you didn’t think he would ever take his anger and frustrations out on you.

Deciding to focus on the events at hand, you tuned back in to the scheduled meeting.

“Alright, so there’s going to be a new shipment coming in,” Steve explained, “I know we only coordinate on Thursdays, but it’s a heavy load. And with the feds on my ass we need to replace the seized merchandise. So Sunday, at noon. Over at Parker Shipping Port. Any questions?”

Though he was asking the group, his main focus was on you. He took note of your rigid behavior, and how you didn’t bother looking him in the eyes. All telltale behaviors of a guilty person, the thought made him dejected. Steve looked over at his best friend, the pair sharing the same incredulous look.

With no one bothering to interject his plan, the gentlemen all nodded in agreement before heading out of the meeting room.

You stayed glued to your seat as you watched Sam, Clint, John and Lemar walk out, leaving only you, your boyfriend and best friend alone.

Observing Steve glide over to his desk, without directing any attention towards you, you spoke up before he had the chance to take a seat. “Did I do something wrong?”

The question made the pair freeze. It’s not like you did anything wrong, it’s just that they didn’t have any proof of any foul play. So they treated you as if you were guilty, until they could prove otherwise.

“Nothing sweetheart,” Steve vacillated, “Is there something that’s supposed to be?”

His question made you scoff and push away from the table, “I don’t know Steve, you tell me! You’ve been ignoring me for the past few days, as have you Bucky! Can one of you please just tell me what the hell is going on?”

The two men both exchanged another glance before redirecting their gaze to you.

Steve never liked seeing you upset, though he did enjoy the way your lips would jut out in an adorable pout. But at this moment, all he could wonder was whether it was all an act. Whether you truly loved him or was he just a pawn in yours and the polices’ game.

But he couldn’t let you think he might be on to you, so he donned a strained smile and reached out to you with an outstretched hand.

Begrudgingly, you made your way towards him and went to sit on his lap, a normal occurrence for you both. You wrapped your arms around him and placed your face in the crook of his neck. The smell of his cedarwood cologne had you unconsciously taking in a deep inhale, the aroma instantly calming your nerves.

Steve rubbed your back and was thankful that you weren’t able to see his saddened face. “Just got a lot on my plate lately with these police raids, sweetheart. It’s gonna get sorted out soon. Everything will be alright and we’ll find out the truth. Just you wait.”

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

Sunday morning inevitably came and both Steve and Bucky were nervous to say the least. The amount of tension in the air made you desperate for an escape so you informed them that you were going to see a friend for a little bit.

Getting dressed and grabbing your belongings, you were making your way out the door when you felt the fierce stare from two pairs of eyes on your back.

“Jesus guys, I’m just going to Leah’s house, relax. I'll be alright.”

Though your statement only made them the exact opposite. The thought of you meeting up with detectives filled their minds as they watched you leave the New York City townhouse.

Bucky patted the blonde on his shoulder, “C’mon, it’s almost 12. Let’s wait and see that whoever sent that email was wrong about her.”

The two ventured into the living room; Steve turned on the local news channel while Bucky fetched a few well-needed beers.

They both sat there for over an hour, mindlessly watching the tv and when a breaking coverage report flashed on the screen.

“Breaking news, the NYPD attempted a drug bust seizure this afternoon at Parker Shipping Port in Queens, but were unsuccessful. The apparent business was allegedly belonging to infamous crime boss, Steven ‘The Captain’ Rogers…”

The rest of the broadcast was tuned out by the blonde. He sat there staring at the reported images while his eyesight filled with rage-induced tears.

How could you betray him like that? How could he have been so stupid to think a woman like you actually wanted to be with him? How could he let himself be fooled so easily?

The bottle that was gripped like a vice in his hand was suddenly thrown against the flatscreen. The action caused the tv display to crack and the graphics to glitch.

“You can’t be fucking serious!” Steve yelled as he stood up, the booming sound of his voice almost made the brunette flinch. “She lied to me, she lied to us! I trusted her- I loved her.”

Bucky got up and reached out to hold the unfolding mess of a man. “Me too bud. Me too.”

Steve Rogers, the most ruthless and intimidating man in all of New York, was reduced to a puddle of tears. He cried in the arms of his best friend as his mind wandered to you. How he met you that sunny afternoon. The way he fell head over heels for you in such a short amount of time. And how he was planning to propose with the family heirloom engagement ring he had stowed away in his office safe, before the truth of your lies and deceit came out.

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

It was around 4 in the afternoon when you arrived back home with a skip in your step after a much needed day spent with your best friend.

Upon entering, you went out in search of your boyfriend, desperate for his attention when suddenly Bucky appeared before you.

“Hey Bucky boy, I-”

You were cut short by the disgusted sneer etched on his face. “Boss’s office. Now.”

He didn’t even give you a chance to respond before latching onto your upper arm and dragging you through the halls. His metal arm quickly formed bruises under its harsh grip. The force of his grip caused your bag to drop, spilling its contents across the floor.

“Buck, what the hell is wrong with you?” you cursed out to the man while in an unsuccessful effort to smack his hand away from you.

It didn’t take long before you two reached the doors of Steve’s office, the wood being kicked open by the brunette before you were thrown onto the auburn rug.

The room went silent upon your brashful arrival, all heads turned down to you with evident disgust. Sam, Clint, John and Lemar watching and waiting for the imminent showdown. Quickly rising to your feet, you incredulously stared back and forth at your boyfriend and supposed best friend.

“What the hell is this? Are you not going to say something to him about manhandling me like that?”

Steve erupted in a drunken shout, “Ha! As if I care about what happens to a piece of shit like you.”

His out-of-character response had you completely shocked, “Have you been drinking? What the hell has gotten into you?”

You watched as the blonde got up and staggered towards you, “I- I know everything. I know it was you all along, you slut.”

His hurtful words made you want to scream at him, but you opted to tear up instead.

“Oh you can quit the crybaby act (Y/N). I figured out your schemes, you’re not gonna get away with playing pretend with me anymore.”

You stood there in disbelief, not knowing what you were being blamed for. “Stevie, I don’t- what are you talking about?”

Steve laughed at your continued act. “Wow you’re still doing it, huh? Is that what the cops told you how to play it? I know you were the one who leaked the info to the feds. You were the fucking snitch all along.”

He lurched towards his laptop, moving the cursor around to reveal the opened email with the surveillance picture. Turning the screen around, he showed you his proof. “Care to explain sweetheart?”

Looking at the screen you sighed, “That’s what this is about? Jesus Christ, Steve! I was in the park taking a walk when that cop stopped me. He kept going on and on about having dirt on you and-”

“Stop lying to me!”

Steve’s roaring voice caused fear to flash through your being. “Why won't you listen to me? Why don’t you believe me?” your broken voice spoke barely above a whisper.

“Because I had everyone looked into and they all came back clean. Then I got that fucking email, and it all made sense. The fact that you just so happened to bump into me that day. The way you slithered into my life and latched on like a snake. Tell me, did they ask you fuck me so quickly or were so desperate for attention you decided to whore yourself out?”

The tears that previously threatened to fall were now pouring out of your eyes due to his hurtful words. 3 years of loving him unconditionally and you were now being blamed for treason. The trust you thought he had in you was gone in an instant.

“I didn’t do anything you asshole. I never would’ve betrayed you like that, I love you.”

Your vision was so blurry due to tears that you weren’t able to see the raise of his hand, but you felt the sting of his actions across your cheek.

Your head sharply turned to the side as Steve’s palm connected with your cheek. The sharp metal of his rings clipped your skin, causing a small cut to appear. You stood there, holding the side of your face, as your mind raced around what just happened.

Steve hit you. The person who swore to protect you laid their hands on you, treating you as if you were garbage and not the supposed love of their life. Shock took over your body as you stood there frozen in place.

Steve took your silence as opportunity to lean down next to your ear, “And I was stupid enough to fall for worthless skank like you.”

His words were the final blow that caused you to loudly sob, your body shaking due to your uncontrollable actions.

Steve rolled his eyes before tutting his head in disbelief. He knows he should’ve never hit a woman, but he was so consumed with rage and liquor that all sense of respect flew out the window.

Growing tired of your wails, he gripped onto your arm in the same place that Bucky once held, the space already darkening due to bruises. He dragged your weakening body out the room and towards the front door where he opened it up and threw you down onto the asphalt.

“Tell your cop buddies to come pick up their trash. I don’t need it stinking up my house anymore.”

He sneered down at you one more time before slamming the door, leaving you alone on the sidewalk while pedestrians looked in curiosity.

You slowly began to ascend and wipe up the tears from your warm and stinging face. You never expected for this moment to ever happen to you. In the three years of dating Steve, you always showed him unwavering trust. Going as far as to cut off some family and friends who had anything negative to say about him or his occupation.

But here you were, by your lonesome and treated as if you were gum beneath his shoe by the man you once saw a future with.

With no spare clothes and without the purse you left inside that contained your wallet and phone, you began the grueling trek back to your friend's house, trying to contain the overflow of grief that threatened to bubble over once more.

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

The following 6 months were a liquor fueled, drug induced fever dream for the mob boss. Steve consumed his weight in alcohol and snorted anything that he could crush down into a powder.

To say he wasn’t handling your betrayal would be an understatement.

His newly adapted, drug-filled, carefree attitude had slowly caused his business to crumble within itself. He couldn’t attend meetings sober, and if he did make an appearance, it would be in the arms of a female companion, whom would resemble you, that he wouldn’t be able nor care to remember the name of.

Anybody that crossed him got away with it due to him being unable to throw a proper punch or safely fire his gun anymore. He was losing his edge, his notoriety, and everyone in the city knew it. Even the NYPD decided that he wasn’t a threat anymore so they moved onto other syndicates. His crew eventually dwindled down, with only his right hand man remaining by his side.

Bucky tried his best to uplift the blonde's spirits and put him back on the right path to remind him of the legacy he was tarnishing, but to no avail.

It was late in the afternoon when Steve woke up from his high nap. He had to push away the coked out prostitutes on his bed to clamber out and down to the kitchen for a well needed drink.

Upon entering he was met with the narrowed eyes of his best friend, but chose to ignore it as he made his way to the fridge.

“You need help, Steve,” spoke Bucky, his voice laced with obvious frustration, yet a tinge or concern. “Drinking and snorting up isn’t going to make the past go away.”

Steve ignored his friend's comments and drank directly out of the filtered water pitcher, desperate to quench his thirst. The pair stayed in silence until a thunderous knock came from the front door. The sound continued, much to Steve’s dismay.

Bucky was about to attend to the unexpected guest when Steve beat him to it. Walking up to the door and opening it, he was met with the face of someone whom he never expected to see.

“What the fuck do you want Zemo?” the blonde questioned.

“To talk, that is all.”

The short haired man made his way past Steve and into his home, ignoring the glaring stare from Bucky.

He sat on the couch in the foyer, dusting off any pieces of lint that caught onto his coat, and disregarding the questioning looks from the pair.

“Get the fuck out of my house now!”

Their paths had never crossed for years, only once when Helmut took over his family’s syndicate after his father passed away. Though his introduction into the crime world wasn’t taken seriously due to his way of going about business.

Instead of normally handling occurring situations himself, he ordered others to do it for him. His choices made other syndicate families not take him as a significant threat, eventually ostracizing him.

But what no one knew, nor expected, was that he was playing the long game. Doing everything in his power to make sure that in the end, he came out on top.

“I just wanted to see how the ‘King of New York’ was doing without his beloved queen,” quipped the man.

The mention of you filled him with rage and a bit of sadness. He was about to launch at the man, fists curling at his sides, when again there was another knock at the door.

“Oh, those are my associates”, states Zemo.

Opening the door once more, Steve locked eyes with his ex-employees, John and Lemar. He tried to speak, but was flabbergasted at the man's newly appointed workers. The pair moved in, with hands on their holsters, to stand beside Zemo.

“Wow, quick to join the other side I see,” Bucky intimidatingly spoke. His statement made them roll their eyes.

“It’s been months and you two still never figured it out huh?” John barked, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other incredulously, not knowing what the hell was going on.

“If I may. My plan, it was actually really easy. In order to take you down and claim my rightful spot on top, I needed to ensure your demise. So I had to start from within, with the help of these two of course,” Zemo explained, nodding his head to the two men beside him.

The best friends stood in silence as they listened to Zemos hidden agenda.

“They told me all about your businesses, and I simply passed the info along to the authorities. But unfortunately, it still wasn’t enough. Then I realized, to take down a King, you need to get rid of his Queen first.”

Realization began to set in Steve’s mind. He was a pawn in his game, not yours.

Zemo continued on detailing his plan, “You see, all I had to do was get an officer to intercept (Y/N), get it on camera, anonymously send it to you, and wait for you to complete the rest of my masterpiece.”

The Sokovian dramatically stood up before making his way to stand in front of the blonde. Before he could speak, Steve croaked out a question.

“Why? Why do all of this? Why bring (Y/N) into this?”

“Simple. To see an empire fall. To regain what is rightfully mine."

And with that, Zemo and his hired goons walked out of the Brooklyn man's townhouse and into their awaiting car.

Bucky replaced Zemos spot on the couch and dropped his head into his palms. He was suspicious about the email from the start, and yet he had a sliver of hope that you were innocent in all of this. But when the fake business got raided, he didn’t know what to believe. So he turned to anger, he let it fuel him. He looked at you in disgust and handled you like you were trash. The memory caused guilt to weigh down his heart.

Across from him, the blonde's body began to shake. The combination of grief from finding out the truth as well as the copious amount of drugs that were in his system caused him to momentarily go into shock, dropping down to his knees.

You were right along; you never betrayed him, he was being set up. Steve kept replaying the moment in his head, the scene breaking his heart every time he reimagined your heartbroken eyes, trembling frame and the sounds of your sobs that came out once he put his hands on you.

He unfortunately couldn't escape the phantom feel of his hand colliding with your cheek, the sound of the smack echoing off the walls caused his body to retreat within itself. Steve felt sick to his stomach at the knowledge of what he did to you.

Standing up and racing towards the nearest bathroom, he hurled out the entirety of his stomach into the toilet bowl. The sudden purge of consumed alcohol and drugs couldn't get rid of the sick feeling of sorrow deep within him.

Not having the strength to retreat towards a more comfortable surface, Steve laid down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Content moments of the two of you lying in bed, you intimately gazing into his eyes, filled his head and drifted him off to sleep.

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

It had been a few months since the revelation of Zemo's plan came to light, and both Steve and Bucky searched day and night for any trace of your current whereabouts.

Though it had been difficult in the beginning for Steve going cold turkey from all his vices, he persevered in his efforts knowing that staying sober would help him in his quest for you.

The search for you had taken a lot longer than expected since he had lost almost all of his connections. Resulting in the blonde to go back to his criminal roots to get the job done.

Within 3 months, he was able to build back up a portion of his notoriety. Though not as high as before, it was enough to bring back the fear into individuals' eyes whenever he stepped into a room.

It was with the help of his old colleague, Natasha, that he was able to track you down. You were staying in Canada, specifically in Montreal, with your best friend Leah.

After profusely thanking the redhead, he and Bucky packed a bag and headed up north to try and beg for your forgiveness.

The entirety of the 6 hour plane ride, Steve internally drafted an apology worthy of your forgiveness and hoped that you would at least give him one more chance.

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

Steve stood before the auburn-colored door frame of the house supposedly belonging to you and your best friend. To say he was nervous would be a lie, he was terrified to face you. Scared out of his mind at the fact that you wouldn't take him back or worse- that you had moved on.

He didn’t know how long he and Bucky were standing there, their thoughts riddled with guilt as well as hope.

After a feeble attempt to shake off the nerves that plagued him, Steve reached a hand up and knocked on the door. He could hear the patter of footsteps trailing towards them as the pair waited. Once the door was opened, Steve was first met with a look of surprise, which quickly turned into anger.

“You need to leave right fucking now,” seethed your best friend.

“Just please, let me talk to her.”

Leah guffawed at his ridiculous request and the audacity that radiated from him, “You've got a lotta nerve showing up here after what you did. What, are you here to hit her again? Relive the moment of you throwing her out in the street? It's been a year, let her have peace.”

“We’re here to apologize. Where is-” Bucky pleaded, but was abruptly interrupted.

“It’s a little too late for an apology, asshole. She doesn’t want to see you, so leave!”

The three of you spent the next few minutes bickering at each other; Leah berated them while Steve and Bucky continued to beg. So lost in the argument that your presence wasn’t registered until they heard a sharp gasp.

Turning his head, Steve locked eyes with you for the first time in little over a year. You looked different than when he saw you last. It appeared as if you had lost weight and your eyes seemed dejected, no doubt caused by his actions.

The blonde immediately stepped towards you, trying to reach out to hold you in any way but stopped when you backed away from him. There was an unmistakable flash of fear in your eyes, that singular action made his heart painfully throb in his chest.

“Baby, (Y/N), I’m so sorry for what I did,” Steve pleaded out to you, but you were having none of it.

After being accused of betraying him and being thrown on like trash, you had to make the trek back to your best friend's house on foot. The entirety of the walk was spent with you pondering in disbelief. For 3 entire years you stood besides Steve, didn’t bat an eye when he unveiled to you what he did for a living, never treated him differently, never accused him of being with other women when he stayed out late doing god-knows-what. Yet for him to see a singular photograph and throw away the relationship so quickly, the act broke you.

It took a while for you to regain a sense of hope, for months you stayed in Leah's spare room, wallowing away in the dark. Almost every night, she would come home after work to find you in tears or passed out due to exhaustion. Over time, you lost weight due to barely eating.

After a while, Leah grew frustrated and also angry with how everything had been affecting you, so she suggested a change in scenery. Having the option for relocation for her job, the two of you moved up north to Canada.

It was only two weeks after moving away from New York City that you began to leave the comfort of your room and ventured out. You began to eat more frequently and laugh at cheesy jokes your best friend made, but you still held onto a bit of sadness. The emotion was still evident in your eyes.

You thought moving out of the country would guarantee that your paths would never cross again, but here you were standing on the pavement looking into the eyes of the man you once loved. The man that you thought the world of. The man who promised to always love and care for you, no matter what.

The sound of Steve speaking out to you began to feel muffled, as if you were underwater. Your eyes then met with your former best friend, causing tears to form. Bucky had the same apologetic look on his face as Steve. The both of them were speaking, but you were filled with both fear and anger that you blocked them out.

Ignoring their confessional pleas, you sidestepped the pair and tried to walk inside your home when Steve yelled out loud, stopping your movements.

“You were right!” he proclaimed, not caring about the listening ears of passing pedestrians, “You didn’t betray me, it was a set up the entire time.”

For the next 5 minutes, Steve proceeded to explain to you Zemos plan. How the true informers were actually two of his own men, not you. He carefully explained that he spent the past few months searching for you so that he could reveal to you the truth. But you knew all along that you were never a part of the police’s efforts to bring his empire down, just a pawn. A means to an end.

Once he finished his speech, you simply looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Your body language evident that you did not want to be anywhere near him.

“So what,” you began, “Do you expect something from me or?”

Steve looked back and forth from you to his best pal. “Well, I- I mean I was hoping we could go back to how we were.”

The abrupt laugh that came from you surprised the two despondent men in front of you, even yourself. The audacity of the man to expect for you to just take him back with open arms, forget all of what he did, fueled your laughter.

“Wait, why are you laughing?” he questioned, a little confused at your reaction.

You couldn’t control the hysterics pouring out of you, “Do you really think- expect for me to just run back into your arms? After what you did to me?”

The air was silent after your inquiry, the pair not knowing how to properly respond. Their silence allowed you to be able to regain your composure before standing directly in front of them.

Looking directly into Bucky eyes, “You dragged me through the house like I was a Raggedy Ann doll and threw me to the floor, without a care in the world.”

“And you,” you yelled at Steve, “You, my supposed boyfriend! My personal protector. You could’ve avoided all of this, if you just sat down and talked to me. I could’ve told you what happened at the park, but you let anger cloud your judgment.”

You thought your anger was at a minimum, but then remembering what physical actions he did to you, only amplified them.

“You slapped me! Put a fucking cut on my face, after I tried telling you the truth, yet you wouldn't let me speak or believe me. Then threw me out of the house like waste. And you have the fucking nerve to come here and expect me to take you back, just like that?”

Steve watched as you got close to his face, close enough to where he could smell the scent of your coffee that you must’ve drank earlier in the day. Hope filled him that maybe you would kiss him, but it was shattered when you leaned to the side to speak in his ear.

“You are a disgusting piece of shit and I hope you burn in hell.”

Saying your piece, you turned around and tried to head inside when Steve caught your arm. His grip wasn’t rough, but more desperate. “Please (Y/N), just give me one more chance. I promise I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

You looked into his blue eyes. His orbs were one of a truly sorry man, but in that moment, going over everything you went through in your mind, you couldn’t seem to care.

“I wish I could. But, I don’t want to.”

And with that you entered the foyer of your home before turning to face the former love of your life for the final time, “Never come back here again. I’ve moved on, it’s time that you do the same.”

Steve and Bucky watched as you shut the door on their faces and expelled them out of your life. The pair stood there for a while, absorbing your words before the brunette clapped the other on the back, snapping him out of his thoughts.

The blonde continued his efforts for the next week. Visiting your home with fresh flowers, hot coffee, those ridiculous caramel filled chocolates you used to always crave so badly.

He was a desperate man, yearning for his love in hopes that he could regain you back into his life.

But his efforts were cut short when two Mounties arrived, informing him that there was a call for trespassing and stalking. Ultimately ordering him to leave, the act signaling that he had lost you and there were no second chances in his horizon.

Bucky had to pull the man away, informing him it was for the best that he leave you alone for good. Steve didn’t fight him on it as they got into their rented vehicle and made the trip back to the airport.

After boarding their flight home, they both sat in their respective seats in silence. Bucky sat there as he mourned the loss of a friend. You were always there for him; an ear to vent to and a shoulder to secretly cry on.

As for Steve, he turned to face the window and watched the city fade away and the plane ascending to cruising altitude.

You were the love of his life, the woman he planned on marrying. And he threw it all away because he didn’t talk to you, ask for the truth, he just assumed. He knew it was a long shot when requesting for you to take him back, but he had to at least try.

For the remainder of the flight, he thought about your smile, the way you would say his name all sweetly, and how he’ll never be able to experience those treasured parts of you ever again, all because of his actions.

.·:*¨ ☼ ⭒ ☽ ⊹ ☾ ⭒ ☼ ¨*:·.

A/N: felt like writing some angst, sorry if it's not the best,. feeling a little rusty.

also: in no way shape or form do i justify domestic violence. this purely a work of fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

[sableseb]

Hi I love your writing so much 🥺 Can I request a stucky x reader where no one knows the three of them are together and the boys tease her separately where they know the team will see so the team thinks she’s dating one of them but when they see her with the other they think she’s cheating until someone goes to confront her and maybe are being mean to her and she just kind of freezes because it’s supposed to be a secret so the boys have to come to her rescue

Thank you so much!😭❤��� Now, this oneshot could’ve either went the sfw route, or the nsfw route…I did nsfw. Cause, it’s sorta my thing. If you wanted fluff instead of smut, please shoot me a message and I’ll be more than happy to write another one involving playful teasing instead!💕 

word count: 2.5k

warnings: smut, fingering, exhibitionism, oral m receiving, nudes, marking/biting

tags: @meetmeatyourworst @stucky-my-ship @greeneyedblondie44 @harrysthiccthighss

a/n: @fuckandfluff went over this for me, always a special thanks to her.🥰 This is a a bit fast paced, just like my other requests. I swear I have original content coming out soon. Bear with me💀 These requests have just been toooo good to not dabble in. Ly all🥺

It started a while ago, this thing between you and the two super soldiers. Steve and Bucky wanted you from the moment they laid their eyes on you, Stark’s newest recruit. They’d see you walking around the compound in shorts that barely covered your ass complimented by a shirt that was always a little too tight, outlining the swell of your breasts perfectly. 

Coming to agreements are sort of their thing. Ever since they learned to walk they’ve been able to work things out with one another, always coming to a compromise. So, when Bucky came to Steve gushing over you, he was a little heartbroken. He wanted you. But, his best friend seemed to want you just as much. 

After a long talk and setting rules and boundaries, they got the courage to ask you to be theirs. When the question left their lips at the same time, you were in shock. You always day dreamed about having one or the other between your legs, it didn’t matter which. But, the prospect of having both? You couldn’t have been more elated, more empowered, or more turned on. 

The rules they spoke of pertained more to them than you. They promised they wouldn’t get jealous, just as long as you kept both of them entertained an equal amount. And any time you were ready to take both of them at the same time, they would be more than willing to comply. 

You tried not to be conspicuous about your relationship with both men. Each of you prefers to keep it a secret, fearing what the other teammates would think. But, as time went on, they got bolder with what they said and did in front of you. 

You're in the kitchen as Clint and Natasha go over mission reports, fixing a little midnight snack. They don’t pay you much attention as you munch on your chips and sandwich. But, a mop of brown hair catches your attention. Bucky waltzes in with no shirt, sweatpants slung low on his narrow hips, accentuating his deep v. 

“Wonderin’ where you went off to. Bed got cold.”

He makes his way to stand behind you, hands reaching out to pull you against him. He’s always so warm, even the metal has a hint of heat emitting from it. You almost lose your wits, seemingly drawn to the man that’s behind you, trying his best to get you to rub against him just a little bit. 

“Buck,” you whisper, “stop. They’ll see us.”

Your eyes dart over to the two Avengers sitting on the couch across from the kitchen, papers strewn about the coffee table, occasionally holding heat in their conversation. They’re clearly stressed. Their profiles faced you, if they were to turn their heads, they’d easily see Bucky’s attempt to get his hand down your sleep shorts.

“Not if you’re quiet, doll.”

His vibranium arm glides up the apex of your thighs. You have to hold in your whimpers and try to keep your body in control as his fingers go under your shorts. He’s met with an already soaked cunt. Now it’s his turn to hold in his groans of approval.

He chuckles against your neck. “Didn’t you get your fill earlier tonight, baby?” 

Smug. That’s all he ever is. He’s a complete contrast to Steve. Bucky knows exactly what he does to you and he uses it against you every time his dick shifts. It’s embarrassing how easily he can make you fall apart. 

“You should be asking yourself that, Barnes.”

The vibranium rubs drawn out circles against your swollen bud. You wince against his hand, a bruise formed from the harsh suction of his mouth from your earlier activities. You try to move away, but you're met with a hard body and an even harder cock blocking your path. 

Bucky grinds his front into your ass, finding a snug place to relieve the ache that’s settled in his leaking member. Without much warning, he places two fingers inside your clenching channel. You jerk forward, the only thing holding you up is the counter digging into your hips. You raise your eyes toward the living room, Clint and Nat are still struggling with reports, seemingly oblivious to the activities taking place just a room away.

“We’re gonna have to speed this up a bit, doll.”

Bucky’s fingers jerk rapidly inside you, causing your chest to shake slightly from his force. Your control is starting to slip as he works you into a frenzy. The feel of his cool fingers hooking in your pussy just right brings a shake to your knees. His palm hits your abused clit with each pump of his wrist. 

There’s a slight squelching sound surrounding the kitchen that you pray they can’t hear. The heat forming between your legs is too much. Leaning against him, you come undone. You’re on your tiptoes as the pleasure wracks your body. Your mouth hangs open in a silent scream as you ride his fingers through your orgasm. 

Bucky removes his hand from your shorts and licks his fingers clean from the mess you made. Reaching past you, he takes your half eaten sandwich. Through a mouth full of turkey he says, “Hurry back to bed. You can return the favor.” 

And with that, he turns and makes his way through the corridor with your sandwich in hand...as if he didn’t just make you cum in less than a minute.

~~~

Your phone has been going off ever since you sat down in the leather office chair. It’s getting increasingly harder to listen to Bruce go over the layout of his latest on field creation with your curiosity peaking with each vibration. 

Slowly, you pull your phone out of your pocket, glancing down to see that Steve has been sending you message after message. “I need you.” “Don't you want to help me out?” “C’mon, answer sweetheart.” flash across the screen, along with a picture that makes you gasp and your cheeks redden, 

It’s his hand wrapped around the base of his dick, the tip glistens with wetness, the veins along his shaft protrude. All of a sudden you find yourself craving to be on your knees for him, wanting to take him down your throat until you couldn’t breathe. His lower stomach shines with sweat from the workout he must have just finished. He’s almost as insatiable as his partner in crime, especially when he exercises.

He’s convinced you. You slip away from the meeting to make your way to the gym. Passing through the double doors you search for him. He isn’t in the main room, so you assume he’s in the locker room.

Your assumption is correct as you feel a large hand wrap around your arm and jerk you into a corner. 

“There’s my pretty girl. Knew you couldn’t resist, honey.” Steve says as he plants kisses along your neck, grasping a hand full of hair and yanking your head back to gain better access. His constant bites cause you to let out a whimper, craving more from his mouth.

All of a sudden, he pulls away. He glances down towards the base of your neck and sees the deep purple spots left along your clavicle. With a smirk he says, “Buck really marked you up good...Let’s see if I can do better.”

From the moment you bedded each man, you could tell they have a competitive nature lurking under the cool, stoic expression they always have. They always try to see who can mark you up more, who can make you cum the most in one session, and who can get you to beg until you’re crying.

Without another moment, he’s back to biting the expanse of your skin, except it’s a lot harder. His teeth dig in, making you bite your lip to try and hold back the pained gasps. He licks over each bite before kissing them, sucking the skin to make sure his bruises have more of a harsher tone than Bucky’s.

You secretly love the way each one tries to hold more dominance over you than the other. It makes you feel wanted, makes you want to be used for their pleasure. They could be so sweet, so gentlemanly, but when lust lit up in their hearts and groins, chivalry went out the window. And that didn’t bother you one bit. Not when they left marks in remembrance of how they practically owned you. Each time they left their signature, your thighs clenched when you’d look at their creation. 

“On your knees, honey. Give your Captain what he wants.”

 You sink to the ground, never one to disobey your Captain’s orders, and pull his gym shorts down. He hisses above you as the cool air hits his sensitive erection. Grabbing him, you start to stroke. Feeling the velvety skin against your palm, you grip him tighter, bringing his weeping tip up to your mouth. You kiss and lick the slit, causing him to buck up, chasing the warmth of your mouth.

Irritation starts to grow in Steve. “Stop teasing and put that mouth to use.”

You sink all the way down on him, not wanting to upset him further. His tip hits the back of your throat causing you to let out small gags much to the super soldier’s pleasure. You repeat your actions, bobbing your head up and down, sucking on his crown each time you pull back. 

You look up at him with tears spilling down your cheeks from taking his size. He loves seeing you stuffed full of his cock. It could be your mouth, pussy, ass, it didn’t matter. Seeing you take all of him made something primal build up in him each time. 

Suddenly, you stop sucking. You clearly heard the door to the locker room open, men laughing about something in their conversation. Your eyes are wide as you try and scramble up to stand, but Steve doesn’t let you.

“Did I say you could stop? Keep going.”

Keeping an awareness of the men that could see you with Steve’s dick in your mouth at any moment, you go back to work. This time, using your hand to work his shaft while your lips focus on his swollen head. You’re twisting and pulling, trying to coax him to release himself in your mouth. 

“Open that pretty mouth. Gonna paint that tongue, baby.” he grunts out while holding your cheeks between his fingers.

You hold your mouth open, still keeping your hands pace. You can see he’s close by the way his thighs tense and cock jumps. A few more pumps and he’s a goner. Steve leans his head down, watching with half lidded eyes as his cum covers your tongue. It’s a sight that makes him hard all over again, how you’re on your knees, thighs rubbing together, glassy, doe eyes looking up at him with admiration. 

“Swallow every drop, baby...good girl.” he praises as you show him your empty mouth.

As soon as you get yourselves situated and looking somewhat presentable, Sam cuts around the corner, a quizzical look etched onto his face. Your heart drops, and suddenly, anger bubbles up in you. You wouldn’t be in compromising positions in public if the two men could keep it in their pants for more than a night. 

“Hey,” Sam starts, “what’re you doin’ in the men’s locker room, y/n?”

“Oh, Steve said he wasn’t feeling well after his workout. So, I dropped by to see if I could be of assistance.” you smile.

You hated yourself as soon as the words left your lips. Sam Wilson is one Avenger you never liked being dishonest to, even over the most mundane things. So, lying to him over something as big as having his best friend’s dick down your throat, made your gut clench and heart ache.

“Yeah,” Steve chimed in, “I’m feeling much better now. She works wonders you wouldn’t believe.” 

Stupid. That’s all Steve and Bucky are. It’s only a matter of time before you three fuck up and out your little triangle to the whole compound. 

“Oh, alright.” Sam says a little hesitantly. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, man.”

He pats Steve on the back as he heads to the showers. You both watch as he disappears down the hallway before turning back to face each other.

“We have got to stop having these little games in public.” you seethe, trying to make a point to Steve, who clearly finds all this quite amusing.

“It’s okay. Just calm down, will you? You know you love the thrill.”

He rubs your arms trying to get you to cool off. Now, you’re upset for a whole other reason. He’s right, you do love the thrill. It’s a whole different kind of rush, and you swear you climax harder when you have to be careful about it. Damn him and damn Bucky. They seem to always know what you need, even when you don’t.

~~~

You’re walking down the hall, ready to meet Bucky and Steve for lunch when suddenly you collide with a firm body. Looking up you see Sam’s dark eyes boring into yours. He looks like he’s not too happy over something. With a worried look, you say, “Hey, Sam. What’s wr-”

“You know exactly what’s wrong, y/n. You think you can double dip in the super soldiers around here and nobody would notice? Who’s back you going behind, huh? The golden boy’s or the machine’s?”

You flinch at his words, Sam has never talked to you like this. His harsh, condescending tone makes tears brim around your eyes. You were more sad about the fact he’s treating you in such a way than being questioned about your relationship.

“No. Sam, it’s not like that. We-”

“Oh, please. I’m not gonna let the new girl go behind my friend’s back. That’s not how things work around here.”

Before you can choke out the reason for being with both men, the two approach you from the hallway. They went searching for you when you didn’t show up on time, always being so punctual, they got worried.

Bucky takes immediate notice of your pained expression and Sam’s scowl. “Hey, Wilson. What’d you do to her?” He asks while taking a forceful step towards Sam. 

“She’s a cheater, that's what.” Sam tries to shove Bucky away, but he doesn’t budge.

Steve steps in before things get out of hand, knowing how the two fight over any slight discrepancy. “Buck, that’s enough. Listen, Sam. She’s not a cheater. We agreed to share her, okay?” he states bluntly, not really knowing how to sugar coat it.

Sam’s taken back. Not really processing what his friend just told him. They...share you? And you let them? For men from the 40s...they sure are into some very 21st century things. What’s even more shocking is that you choose to be with the bionic, staring machine. 

You can see the thoughts flying through Sam’s mind. “I know it’s a bit...different. But it works for us.” you explain to him.

Sam finally blinks at your words. He’s actually okay with this situation. As long as you guys are happy, so is he. Collecting his thoughts he tells you, “Yeah, no. That’s my bad. I’m sorry for being hostile. It’s just I didn’t wanna see one of them hurt, ya know?”

You smile at his words. That’s one reason you like Sam Wilson so much, he’s loyal through and through. He’s good to your boys. 

“I just worry about you with the cyborg here.” he gestures to Bucky, and if looks could kill, Sam would be six feet under right now. “You can never be too careful, he has a tendency to snap.”

Well...good to one of your boys that is.

[itsmeatballworld]

this is gonna be my condensed thoughts/feelings as I finally catch up to the most current chapter in bs:a!

@darke15 you’re a genius and I luv youuuu

...

I had to make a new ao3 account after my computer denounced the website 😂😂

…

Okay so from chpts 65-69 I’m high key sweating every two minutes lol

The lying Ghost had to do was insane!! Girl was doing cartwheels dodging Bucky’s questions to the point I was so stressed! I feel so bad for them—I can’t imagine the pain of wanting to share something but knowing the repercussions and fear of the outcome.

But so much good/yummy fluff and smut was weaved through so I’m happy haha

“Did you fuck Captain America?”

“Did you fuck the Winter Soldier?”

^ honestly has to be one of my favorites 😂 I was squealing lmaoo

…

*this next part is dedicated to chpt. 70. And only chpt. 70.*

Exc-UUUSE MEEEE?! Did you wake up and decide on violence, Darke?! I’m IN TEARS. AGONY. DANNY OH MY GOD. I CANT DO THIS. I REFUSE. NO. NOO. NOOOO.

Wow goddamn if that hurt me I can’t imagine how much that hurt you when you wrote this scene. I mean Danny?!? Babes I’m withering in pain, full tears.

…

Chpt 71. What in the HELL IS GOING ON. So many people are getting hurt?! Dune, my loves. The whole team. I’m terrified for this chapter.

Oh my god Wraith is throwing Ghost under the bus as a HYDRA sleeper agent 🫣 what is HAPPENING RN

OKAY NOW WAIT HOLD ON WHAT THE FUKKK

DARKE

My GOD. WTFF.

Ollie?!? OLLIEEE

I was trying to be coordinated when doing this reaction post but NO WAY. NO WAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

He’s—! And I’m just—!

Oliver why—!

oh for the love of god 💀 I’m not strong enough for this

I have to say that Wraith being Ollie was a twisty twist I did NOT plan for. Now that he’s been revealed oh — I see it. Like I reread a quick scene from the early flashbacks and it does make so much sense. He and Ghost had some turbulence <literally lol> but I still am blown away. He’s got such a wild anger towards Ghost.

But now some serious concerns. What in the hell, Ollie?? Like he’s pretending to act like Danny?! BRO THAT IS MESSED UP.

Kinda glad it wasn’t Danny, tbh?? Maybe I’m crazy but I freaking love that man so much. His character and Ghost have been through so much that I’d hate that for them. Plus I picture Oscar Isaac for godsakes I can’t imagine him as my villain I’m sorry 😭😂

…………………. nOw HoLd Up Is DaNnY aCtUaLly DeAd

OH. OH NO. OH NO. NO NO. NOW THE FLASHBACK IS HURTING ME EVEN MORE.

*I took a week long break from reading after that 😭😭😂*

{but also realizing Origins is going into Danny and Ghost so… compromise? *crying continues*}

So, I’m back. Not refreshed — I’m thoroughly feeling bamboozled and stunned by Oliver. Man, he had me fooled 😔

Chpt. 72-73 wowowowow!!!

Bucky is so heartbroken ugh. Again. The lies and deceit have wounded him so deeply I hope he can recover when the truth comes out about Ghost and her working with Aftermath and Dune/Alpha Two…

These snippets into Oliver’s anger and planning is so terrifying. But that’s also a compliment haha. These scenes are so well done I want to punch him. Like real bad. This was supposed to be their friend and coworker Ollie! Not Ollie the Hydra lover 😭

Murder!Ghost is coming out to play 👀 !!

But on a serious note, Ghostie needs a break or she’s gonna snap. All that trauma and pain, without time to heal and process, would make any person crumble. I really hope not but she needs a break. Pronto!

…

Chpt 74, oh how I loved this!! So The Big 🍎 finally knows the truth. And he’s nice and possibly not surprised about Reader being Ghost. Love him. Love him and Boone. God I hope Bucky won’t hate Ghost too much after this!! [also screaming how cute Boone and Steve are *cries in single*].

…

Chpt 75: I love how you write these team dynamics. Like they’ve been through the worst things imaginable and they still got each other’s backs. Now that’s my found family!!!

The heartbreaking realization [again] of what damage had been done to Olympus and the surrounding area is wild. Having Ghost describe it through her eyes was agonizing. Everything being rubble and yet the memorial stone is standing tall... oof the image :( but at least Turner and the family are alive!!

“If Ollie wants to play the hero, I’ll give him a villain.”

-- ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY YESS. This gave me chills ahhhh 

[OO and Novak ditching Wraith?! WHAT IS GOING ON]

...

 Chpt. 76!

I know Bucky is going through it right now, but at least he realized Ghost loves him. And the slight doubt about Ghost being ‘hydra’ is giving me life. Slowly but surely the team is finding this odd, but I’m glad Clint is thinking it through. This web that Ollie created is so insane and I can’t wait for the truth to come out!

Even though the next scene showed a badass machine that Ghost can be (and nearly terrified Bucky again *le sigh*) I have hope this will turn around haha. *sweating intensifies*

Plus, even though the whole Stark Tower/Avengers group was in panic during Ghost’s takedown of Wraith’s base in Kabul, I was thoroughly enjoying that scene <3 Badass Ghostie is fun!

Also Bucky still calls New Eden his ‘home’ so that’s a win, bro!

Ollie calling Ghost an “impulsive psychopath”... boy, please. We need him to look in the mirror hahaha.

...

So... um... chpts 77-78: 

well holy hot damn. I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK. Ain’t nobody touching Amma. No. I’d throw hands, I’m sorry haha. Girly, you had me going nuts like Ollie hurt Amma oh my goodddddddd! Boone was so sweet to get Amma the hell out of dodge. I love her with my whole heart, ugh! Ghost’s reaction to Amma being missing then reuniting with her had me teary ngl

Ghost’s internal monologue in Medellín about the team and who’s bullet holes did those belong to was so heart wrenching. Her panic attack?! Holy crap, my heart hurts so badly for her. All Ghost’s trauma and pain is really coming to a head with all of this stress and it’s making me so sad to see Ghost hurting like this.

“If she’d fought so hard to get away from them, Bucky could get her back”

—> hell fucking yes!

The chaos! Bucky loves Ghost, wants to find Ghost, but is going to make it worse if he does because of Oliver’s ties to the Avengers….. ugh a month went by and I feel like he’s slowly loosing faith in her *cries*

AND YESSSSS THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY IS GONNA HAPPEN!!!! Jack and Duke are getting married!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥹😭❤️💕

...

Ahhhhaha! Chpt 79:

I am sobbing. This was so perfect and lovely. I needed this. We all needed this. Darke, you needed this. I feel like I fell in love with these characters all over again. What Ghost said during the ceremony had me weeping. And when Danny is brought up, I’m also crying very sad tears lol. 🥹💕

...

*side note: the way you write peter and sam are exceptional! I can really hear their voices come alive <3

** side note 2: just a general declaration that Sam Wilson needs a love interest moving forward in the MCU... like they’re missing out on this man and I’ll fight Marvel haha 😂😂

…

Yikes! It seems my BA in Communications is not paying off 😂 what a messy reaction post lmao. I cannot communicate to save my lifeeeeee

@darke15​, I can’t properly explain how much this whole series has me in a chokehold. You are a phenomenal writer and storyteller!! Seriously I’m always in awe what that brain creates 🖤 thank you for all that you do, lovely!! 

~gigi💕

[goldentournesol]

The Receptionist and the Profiler (Six)

Chapter Six: Lifted Burdens

(Spencer Reid x f!Reader)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

The word reverberated around her brain for days after she heard it. Her brain was mocking her and she knew it.

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. My girlfriend.

Over and over again.

A heartbroken Y/N went home that day to an extremely livid Penelope. Y/N was the one calming her down instead of the other way around.

“How could he be so stupid?! I mean, he’s a genius, but he’s still the stupidest person I’ve ever met! Oh my God, I’m gonna kill him! A girlfriend?! He’s out of his mind!”

And although Y/N agreed with every single word Penelope’d said, there was little she could do about it now. She had shown Ashley around just like she had with every other new agent. It would have been a lot easier to hate her if she wasn’t so...nice. You know, even though her father was a serial killer and all.

She was so normal. And Spencer seemed happy around her. That’s all she could ever ask for, right? So why was it still so painful every time the three of them were in a room together? Why was avoiding all the team members’ apologetic stares as they witnessed a moment between the couple turning into a sport? Well, she knew exactly why, but she didn’t really want to give that thought the time of day.

Derek was almost as livid as Penelope when he’d learned of the new relationship. It took everything in his power to not chew Spencer out.

Spencer, on the other hand, was convinced that this was the only way he’d ever get to get over Y/N. Besides, she’s married now, what’s everyone so upset for? Is his happiness too much to ask for? Although, he did find it odd that Y/N wasn’t wearing rings on any of her fingers. He would have thought that a newlywed wife would have been much more excited to show off her ring. It was also quite strange to hear that Anderson transferred to a different unit. But he stopped himself from thinking about her too much anyway. Stopped himself from thinking about how much her eyes stopped twinkling as much as they used to. Or how her smile always seemed a little less bright than he was used to.

Stop, Spencer. You have Ashley now. He reminded himself.

Ashley was a nice girl. They’d met a few times before they began dating. He first met her when Rossi took him to the Academy to speak with some of the recruits who were interested in joining the BAU. Then, after that, he’d ran into her while he was guest-lecturing at her university. She’d been taking extra classes to get her degree faster and ever since then, they’d kept in contact. They’d met again while Spencer was on his medical leave. He had practically begged Rossi to take him to any lectures. Despite being a homebody through and through, Spencer had had enough of sitting at home waiting for his knee to heal. He needed to get out of the house and do something. Ashley had been the one to suggest a date and Spencer was shocked to say the least, but he accepted. Who was he to deny a pretty girl a date when the love of his life was already married?

Coming back to work was exciting to say the least, even if he wasn’t authorized to go into the field yet. The rest of the team still had to go though, which made the bullpen kind of eerily quiet.

He tried to spend most of his time in Garcia’s batcave to be able to be a part of any video calls with the team, despite the fact that Garcia could barely look at him without wanting to crush the rest of his bones (it’s all in the name of love, she swears). Him being in Garcia’s cave made it practically impossible for Y/N to go in there as often as she normally would. She’d normally spend her entire breaktime with her, they’d chat, eat, and watch kitten videos on repeat. But now Dr. Genius was occupying her space there and it left Y/N sulking out in the empty bullpen. 

Now, Spencer wasn’t completely oblivious to the way the team was acting around him. He’d noticed a decrease in Penelope’s affectionate terms, he’d noticed Derek’s disapproving stares, even JJ was being short with him. Maybe it had something to do with him dating the new agent.

“Hey, Garcia?” Spencer asked from his seat next to her, he was currently going over a case file as she sorted through VICAP.

“Yes, Reid?” She asked, obviously not paying attention.

“Do you guys um, not like Ashley or something?” He asked tentatively, fiddling with his pen between his fingers. That got her attention because she turned in her chair and looked at him.

“What gave you that idea?” She asked with signature Garcia concern.

Spencer shrugged and pursed his lips together, “I don’t know, you’ve all just been acting super weird since I got back and every time I’m with her around you guys it’s super awkward.”

He saw Garcia take a deep breath and she slumped her shoulders, “No, Reid, we do like her a lot. I guess you can say we just weren’t expecting it. I mean, you’d just gotten shot and then came back with a girlfriend, it was kind of...surprising.”

“Why is it so surprising? Is it so surprising that someone actually finds me interesting?” Spencer almost scoffed, that had come out way meaner than he’d intended.

“No, of course that’s not what I meant, you know that!” She exclaimed, tears already threatening her eyes, “It’s just...we all thought it would...y’know, take you a while to get over Y/N.” She tiptoed around what she really wanted to say. Spencer held back a roll of his eyes.

“Well, I am. So...so you can all stop being so weird. Besides, what does it matter how long it takes me to get over her? She’s married now, remember?” Spencer said, not even trying to hide the bitterness behind his voice.

Garcia’s face drained of all emotion all at once, “What?”

Spencer analyzed her expression before shrugging, “What?” He asked, feeling like he was missing something.

Suddenly, she began laughing in disbelief, “No, no, no. There’s no way.”

Spencer’s impatience and irritability grew, “What are you talking about?”

“Spencer! Y/N has been living with me for the past 3 weeks, you big idiot! I’m not saying anything more to you. You need to be talking to her right now, not me.” He felt as though his brain took ages to process what she’d told him.

“What...why would she be living with you?” He asked, his brain raking through all the possibilities. Garcia shook her head and refrained from speaking to him for the rest of the day. The dread set in as he realized.

He’d only seen Y/N at her desk whenever he had to leave the batcave for something. Most times she’d just send him a polite smile but they rarely engaged in any conversation. Her energy has been cut in half lately. 

Near the end of the day, Spencer trudged all the way to the kitchenette on his crutches to make himself a fresh cup of coffee. While reaching up to grab his mug, he tried to balance on his crutches but was still very wobbly. The result of his wobbliness was a shattered mug on the floor of the BAU’s kitchenette. Spencer winced at the sound and sighed a deep sigh.

He heard quick footsteps to where he was, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” Y/N stood in front of him, taking in the scene. He hadn’t heard her voice in days, it was the closest thing he’d felt to relief hearing from her again.

“I-I’m okay, I just dropped a mug while trying to make a cup of coffee.” He huffed frustratedly, upset that his mobility was compromised.

“Spence, next time you can just ask me or something--or someone else, it doesn’t have to be me, but I mean, I don’t mind doing it, if you asked.” She stumbled lightly on her words, cheeks reddening. Spencer smiled in response and nodded, touched at her kindness, “Now, step back and let me help you clean this up before someone gets hurt.” 

Spencer took a step back, the feeling of guilt overwhelming him as he watched her pick up the pieces and sweep the floor, “I’m sorry...about that. You didn’t have to help me out, thank you.”

Her face cracked a smile and Spencer felt the hunch in his shoulders loosen slightly, “Come on, it’s really nothing. How’s the um, knee?” She pointed slightly as she brought down another mug and began to fill it with coffee for him.

He sighed, “It’s not great. It hurts sometimes, like a lot, but it could have been worse I guess.” He shrugged, unable to keep his eyes off her captivating face. If he thought the science of reading microexpressions was interesting, reading her face was on a whole other level.

“I’m sorry, Spence, I really hope you feel better soon.” She spoke while adding the perfect amount of cream and sugar. He could tell that there was something weighing on her heavily as she seemed to drift further away as she watched the swirls of the cream dance in the mug.

“Thanks, Y/N/N. Um, what about you? Are you okay?” He asked, noting the way she immediately snapped back into shape almost as if she’d been caught slipping. Her facade was back on as if it hadn’t slipped for a nanosecond.

“Yeah! I’m great.” She smiled, not meeting his eyes, Spencer was about to ask about her current living situation when she spoke quickly, not leaving a pause, “How about I walk this back to your desk for you?”

“Um, you don’t have to do that. I can take it.” Spencer frowned, feeling already guilty enough. 

She giggled slightly, purposefully glancing at both his hands wrapped around his crutches, “Got a third hand I don’t know about, Spence?”

Spencer grinned in defeat, realizing what she meant, “Right…” He sheepishly began to walk back to his desk, is Garcia needed him she would call. She set the cup down and flashed him a smile before turning around and walking right back to her desk where she stood for a few seconds as if contemplating something then continued on in the direction of Garcia’s office.

“Garcia...I did something bad.” She confessed sheepishly stepping into the office and closing the door behind her, feeling somewhat like a child who hadn’t followed instructions. 

Garcia turned around in her chair, “Oh no, sweets, what happened?”

“I talked to him…” She flopped down onto the chair next to Garcia’s and pouted. Garcia couldn’t hide her smile and shook her head.

“And…?” Garcia looked expectantly at her.

“I don’t think I can ever get over him, Pen.” She suddenly frowned, picking at a frayed thread on her skirt.

“Well it’s not gonna happen overnight, sugarplum. Tell you what, why don’t we have a girls night out when the team gets back tonight. Maybe you could get a little lovin’.” Garcia added suggestively but Y/N rolled her eyes and huffed playfully in response.

“Yes to girls night, no to getting any “lovin’”, I don’t think my heart can physically handle anything else.”

“Ughh, alright. But um...there’s something you should know…” Garcia began.

“What is it?” Y/N pushed.

“So...you know how Reid is a certified genius and stuff...yeah...he’s quite possibly the most obtuse man I’ve ever met.” Garcia spoke.

“Yes, we know this, what is it, Pen?” Y/N asked, growing more impatient and anxious.

“I found out today that he had absolutely zero clue that you called off the wedding.” She said.

“What do you mean? How did he not know?” Y/N almost laughed at the absurdity.

“I guess no one told him. I think we all got so caught up with him getting shot that no one told him. Y/N, I’m telling you, up until 1:22 pm today, he thought you were married to Grant Anderson.” Y/N almost grimaced at the mention of her almost-husband.

“Well, what good is it now, he’s got little miss Ashley, who, by the way, IS NOT invited to girls’ night.”

But she was, of course she was. But it wasn’t just her, oh no, the entirety of the BAU had invited themselves out.

Everyone was stuck in their own little conversations around the table and Y/N felt like the odd one out. She looked up from her glass to see Rossi and Hotch deep in conversation, Derek and Penelope were in the middle of a story to which Emily and JJ were listening intently, and finally, the cherry on top, sitting directly across from her, was Spencer and his precious Ashley sitting practically glued at the hip with his arm around her shoulders. This was supposed to be a girls’ night out, and here Y/N was, feeling as miserable and insignificant as ever.

“I’ll be right back.” She said to no one in particular as she got up from the table, not that anyone noticed or heard. Spencer caught her leaving out of the side of his field of vision but Ashley quickly began telling him another story. Y/N had almost made it out of the bar when a familiar voice stopped her.

“Y/N, hey!” She turned to see none other than Anderson himself, looking quite put together and smiling very largely at her.

“Hey! Um, you out here too?” She smiled awkwardly and looked around for his friends.

“Yeah, came out for drinks with the guys from the White Collar Crimes division. Hey, you should come say hi.” He nodded his head towards a table full of men. Y/N glanced back at her table and saw that no one was looking for her so she shrugged and agreed.

She sat at the table and they all immediately brought her into the conversation, which made her mood lift significantly.

Had Grant always been this funny? She thought. As the guys settled down after their stories, Grant turned to Y/N.

“Can I get you a drink?” He offered nicely and she thought about it. She spent 11 years with this man, what could one drink possibly do? 

As they sat at the bar and chatted, Y/N noticed that Grant was being extra gentlemanly and just...nice.

“So, yeah, this is my life now.” He tilted his beer at the table they were at previously.

“They’re really nice guys, I’m glad you’re happy at work.” She smiled and nodded. Grant smiled back and studied her for a moment.

“Um, so...I was wondering...I mean, do you...are you still sure about all this?” He gestured between them, “It’s just that we get on so well and I um, really wouldn’t mind doing it all over again for you.” He ended his sentence with a genuine smile. 

Y/N’s smile faltered from a grin to a sad smile, her eyes flitting across the bar to look for Spencer, who had been keeping a close eye on her since she left in case she was in trouble. Their eyes met for a moment but nothing longer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She nodded with finality. Grant followed her eye-line and felt some jealousy stirring up inside.

“Wait--is this all about Reid?” Grant stared at her incredulously.

“What?! No! Of course it isn’t. We weren’t working out, I already told you.” She defended quickly, but Grant was unconvinced. He gave her a look and she avoided his eyes, “Me and Spencer are just friends, I promise. We kissed like, once, it didn’t even mean anything.”

“You kissed? When?!” Grant’s eyes immediately filled with rage, looking across the bar.

“It doesn’t matter, look, can we just step outside for a second, get some fresh air?” She tried to reason with him but before she knew it, Grant was out of the bar stool and marching his way over to the BAU’s table. Y/N followed him quickly, trying to minimize any damages.

“REID!” Grant yelled in the small bar, quickly alerting all the agents. Spencer’s worried eyes flitted to Y/N’s.

In one swift motion, Grant lunged forward to attack a still-seated Spencer, eliciting a frightened yelp from Ashley next to him. 

But thankfully, Derek was much quicker than Grant and effectively took him down yelling, “What the hell is wrong with you, man?” 

Hotch and Rossi visibly relaxed upon watching Derek drag a livid Grant outside the bar. Mortified, Y/N grabbed her things and ran out, unable to meet any of their eyes. She flagged a cab and tried to stop the sobs from tumbling out of her.

Needless to say, the next month was the most awkward month she’d ever been through. Anderson was lucky he’d only been suspended without pay and not actually arrested for attempted assault of an FBI agent. She was downright mortified after what had happened at the bar and had fully retreated into herself, having finally moved out into her own apartment. Her pickiness ended when she realized she couldn’t stay with Garcia anymore.

 Even JJ had tried multiple times to set her up with one of Will’s friends, but Y/N always refused. Invites to bar nights were turned down and ignored. Her days consisted of waking up, going to work, coming back home, pretending to unpack but in reality avoiding it and ending up sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream. The entire team felt for her, but Spencer especially felt for her as well as felt like an absolute moron. Not about what had happened at the bar, he didn’t really care if Anderson had beat him up, maybe he deserved it for making her feel this way. 

He watched curiously from his desk as Derek and Penelope walked through the glass doors of the BAU and stood at her desk. Penelope placed a heavy cookie tin on the raised part of the receptionist’s desk, the sound making Y/N look up from her computer.

“Morning, lil’ mama.” Derek grinned at her.

“Morning, D. Hey, Pen. What are you two up to?” Y/N’s gaze shifted between them suspiciously, “And what’s this?” She referred to the cookie tin.

“Oh, you know, just your favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies.” Garcia said with a smile. She watched as Y/N’s face lit up and immediately reached for the tin but Penelope held it securely.

“Uh-uh-uhh,” Derek taunted with a smirk.

“What? Why can’t I have the cookies?” Y/N huffed.

“These, my love, are a bribe and I’m not afraid to admit it.” Penelope said with a dramatic upturn of her chin.

“Oh no.” Y/N said.

“Oh yes.” Derek and Penelope both said. When Y/N rolled her eyes and was about to refuse, Penelope opened the top of the tin and Y/N took a peek and was hit by a whiff of heavenly chocolate chips.

“Fine, I will listen to your offer, but no promises.” She tried to stay strong even though the scent of the cookies was already driving her mad.

“We thought you might say that, which is why the entire tin is the bribe.” Derek said smoothly and Y/N’s jaw dropped.

“That is low, chocolate thunder!” She exclaimed and Spencer unwillingly smiled at her reaction.

“Anyway, you get this entire tin of cookies IF you agree to come to Rossi’s tonight.” Penelope offered and Y/N paused to think about it.

“I don’t know, Pen…” Y/N began.

“Come on, pretty girl, we miss you. You haven’t been out in ages.” Derek tried. Y/N’s heart pulled in her chest, maybe she did miss them too.

“Alright, fine, fine! I’ll come.” Y/N crossed her arms, trying to hide her smile as Derek and Penelope celebrated with a hug and a cheer, “Now, give me these!” She stood and grabbed a cookie, quickly taking a bite and visibly melting back into her chair from the taste.

“See? I told you that would work. No one can say no to my cookies.” Penelope whispered to Derek as they separated to begin their days.

She finally got some motivation to empty her bags and boxes when she returned to her apartment. It was mainly because she had to look for an appropriate outfit to wear. Ever since she’d moved, she’d been picking out her work clothes and pajamas from her suitcases, rewearing all the blouses and skirts that don’t need ironing, but it’s time to start taking care of herself again. Perhaps she felt like the clothes she was wearing didn’t belong to her anymore, she decided that she’d take herself shopping soon. After a relaxing shower, she picked out a black satin blouse and tucked it into a pair of fitting blue jeans.

Arriving at Rossi’s, she took a deep breath before ringing the bell.

“Ciao, bella!” Rossi graciously greeted, hugging her tightly, “We’re all so glad you could make it. Come on in, dinner is almost ready.” Rossi’s warm greeting eased the anxiety that bubbled in her chest. She was also greeted warmly by everyone in the room when she walked in. Penelope pulled her to sit next to her immediately.

“You look stunning!” Penelope complemented, making Y/N blush.

“I agree, you are looking hot as hell, mama.” Derek chipped in, making her laugh.

“Oh, hush, you two.” Y/N rolled her eyes and accepted the glass of wine that Emily offered her. She sipped on the wine, glancing at Spencer over the rim of the glass. He caught her eye and sent her a small smile. Y/N sent him a small one back before feeling herself shut down as everyone around her started conversations. She hadn’t noticed just how much she depended on Spencer for conversation in outings with the BAU until his attention was taken away. He would always stick to her side but now he had someone else’s side to stick to. With no Anderson and no Spencer, she really had to fend for herself. All night, she felt this indescribable weight on her shoulders. She did everything to try to get rid of it.

Soon, one glass of wine with dinner turned into two, then somehow turned into two rounds of whiskey. Before she knew it, she was up dancing with Derek and Penelope in the middle of the garden. They all had migrated into the backyard after dinner, where most people were chatting and eating dessert.

“Spencer, are you listening to me?” Ashley’s voice cut through Spencer’s daze.

“I’m sorry, what?” Spencer turned to her, he’d been caught up watching them dance, secretly wishing it was him she was grabbing onto for support instead of Derek. If it wasn’t for his damn knee, he would have joined them in dancing.

“I asked you if you wanted another slice of cake.” Ashley said, with a small smile on her face. She was nice, but she wasn’t her.

“Oh, no thanks, I’m good.” He shook his head and reverted his attention to the dancing trio. She was finally smiling, he hadn’t seen her smile that wide in so long. Her laugh was heard across the garden and somehow it seeped right into Spencer’s bloodstream. The familiar feeling of jealousy creeped up on Spencer as he watched her twirl herself in and out of Derek’s arms.

“See? Aren’t you glad you came out tonight?” Derek smiled as she twirled back against his chest. 

She nodded and smiled, a tad bit too tipsy, “Yeah, I guess.”

Penelope grinned and pulled her away from Derek, “Alright! Quit hogging her, I wanna dance with her too!” Y/N laughed and wrapped her arms around Penelope, burying her face in her shoulder.

“Thank you for everything, Pen.” They swayed and Penelope squeezed her harder.

“Anytime, sugarplum.”

“Alright, I’m just about beat. I need some dessert.” Y/N said, pulling back and dragging them both to where everyone was.

While eating dessert, she watched as Spencer continued to converse with Ashley and felt her blood boiling beneath her skin. Or maybe that was the alcohol, she wasn’t sure. It was like a cloak of clarity cascaded upon her. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of everyone and speaking loudly, loud enough to halt the ongoing conversations. With her eyes on Spencer, she only ever had her eyes on Spencer.

“Spencer, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we’re not even friends. You were my best friend, the closest person to me. I don’t know what happened, but I miss you. I don’t want things to ever be this weird between us again. And--and I shouldn’t have been with Grant, I know that. There were so many reasons not to marry him, but the truth is I was ready to ignore every single one until I met you. I asked myself why I waited so long to get married and I thought I just wasn’t ready but I knew I didn’t want him,” she paused to swallow, her tears blurring her vision, “I want you. And now you’re with someone else, and that’s fine. She’s wonderful and she makes you happy and that’s fine,” A few tears escaped and she realized what she was doing, “and I think I’m drunk and I shouldn’t be driving home so if someone could drop me off that would be great.” She dropped her plate on the table and quickly made it inside, leaving a group of agents completely stunned.

And just like that, the weight she’d grown so accustomed to seemed to dissipate from its place on her shoulders.

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[beauty-and-passion]

Hey! How are you? Just came across your blog recently, and I gotta say I absolutely love your theories!! I’m still catching up, but they’re so well thought out and deeply analyzed. It’s an absolute joy to read through, so thank you for all your interesting ideas!

I love theorizing myself too, and I’ve been wondering a bit about what the upcoming season finale of Sanders Sides will look like. Do you have any thoughts/theories on that?

I believe Joan mentioned we will have another 1/2 Asides before the finale of the current 2nd season. After FWSA (which apparently is playing an important part in the overall storyline according to the team), I feel like we might get an intense 2-vs-2 situation that could revolve around Thomas and Nico. Virgil and Roman on one side arguing Thomas is ready to start a relationship with Nico, and Patton and Janus on the other side arguing against it. Don’t know whether Nico would make a return so soon though, as it also feels Roman’s arc might become a vocal point in upcoming episodes (then again, the two could intertwine).

Anyway, do you have any ideas on how the finale would play out? Could we potentially get some Orange hints? (I am freaking out about him lately so would LOVE some more hints in next episodes lol.) Sorry if this is too long for an Ask Me Anything, still figuring out how to Tumblr. Would love to hear your thoughts!

First of all: thank you, I’m glad you like my theories! And I hope you will keep hanging around, because more will come in the future ;)

Second: don’t worry, this wasn’t a long ask :) it was nice to read your thoughts on the matter, because that’s not an easy one!

Third: o-oooh, what a question! I really love it! But I will also need some time to properly answer it, so I apologize in advance for my late reply.

Before starting, a premise. As you said, there will be two Asides, then a two-parts episode that will end season two. During every two-parts episode we visited the room of a new Core Side and considering we’re into Roman’s arc now, it’s pretty clear Roman’s room will be the next one. That also means this two-parts episode will be focused on Roman.

But Roman’s plot isn’t the only one we have now. There’s also:

The whole “Dark Sides relationship” (yes, I’m talking about you, Virgil and Janus)

Remus (his relationship with Roman, his functions, his future role in the creative process)

Logan and his issues

Considering that those are pretty big themes, I would develop them all in season three and just give some hints for now. There will be time to properly address them all later.

The only other plot I would keep is the one about Nico. During the first livesteam after FWSA, Thomas said he wanted to show how character!Thomas deals with a relationship. So yes, Nico IS a big deal, he will come back and the next big theme will probably be about him.

Having said that, here we are:

My Theories On The Next Two Asides And The Possible Ending Of Season Two.

_______________________________________

THE ASIDES

So we have three Asides and six Sides. Two of them were in the first Aside, so I would take them out for the other two.

We have now four Sides to see. Leaving one or two behind would have no sense, so I think we should see them all, two at a time.

Second Aside: Remus and Logan

Why the next Aside should be about them? Because we need to start talking about the creative process and how it isn’t just a purely “Roman” process, but something that requires Remus’ constant stream of ideas on one side and Logan’s realistic approach on the other.

However, it’s still a bit too early to talk about that: Thomas needs to grow, Roman needs to grow. For now, I would start by showing little by little how Remus’ suggestions can potentially be useful, if properly developed and tamed.

And we can do it thanks to Nico.

Some time passes between the first and the second Aside. Thomas and Nico starts to date, everything is good.

But Thomas is still insecure, because of what Virgil said to him in FWSA: “Will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to (Nico)?”. So he tries to be as much honest as possible with Nico, to the point of ending up being brutally honest sometimes. Nico would be a bit weirded out by this behaviour, but accept it with a shrug.

So, since things are going so well, Thomas wants to make it official. To finally be boyfriends and not just two-people-who-see-each-other-and-kinda-like-each-other.

And that’s where Logan and Remus would come into play. Thomas’ thoughts about Nico would get Remus’ attention and the sudden brainstorming session would get Logan’s. The first would poke Thomas for his less chaste thoughts, all while suggesting weird, inappropriate ways Thomas can ask Nico to be boyfriends. The second wouldn’t tear down Remus’ suggestions, but work around them, show their flaws and how they cannot work.

This back and forth will lead to Thomas realizing what he can do and how. And this solution wil be the good one: Thomas would ask Nico to be boyfriends and Nico would accept.

Third Aside: Janus and Patton

Until now, we saw two kind of cooperations: Roman and Virgil’s is based on feelings and “pushing” each other through their emotions. Logan and Remus’ is a cooperation “in power”: they work well together and we just got a glimpse of how fruitful this cooperation will be in the future.

In this Aside we will see a third kind of cooperation: the most stable and balanced one. We would see how well Janus and Patton would steer Thomas together, how they’re able to talk and compromise, how they’re gradually smoothing their most extreme points of view for Thomas’ sake. And we would see them getting along well, despite their differences.

But why showing it now? Because this would be the perfect moment in time to show it. Because now Thomas is in an official relationship: things are getting real and there are A LOT of decisions that should be taken every day. Janus and Patton’s guidance would shine and prove how a cooperation between Sides isn’t just possible, but it leads to big, better results.

And it would also prove that Roman and Virgil’s fear in FWSA (that Thomas was using deceit to solve all his problems) was without merit. Janus’ power isn’t as uncontrollable as they thought. On the contrary, with Patton’s morals balancing it and when properly used, lying help Thomas achieve more. His relationship with Nico grows stronger.

Things are going well.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 1

I’ve got an idea in the back of my mind for a while about how things can get worse and it’s something like this:

As we saw in the Asides, Thomas and Nico’s relationship is going well. Things moved very fast, yes, but they really like each other, so it’s okay.

One day, Nico says he wants to introduce Thomas to his family. Despite an initial peak in anxiety (a subtle way to show us that Virgil has problems with change in general), Thomas accepts to meet them.

Thomas is getting ready with Roman and Virgil. Virgil is - guess what - anxious about this meeting, but he’s also all butterflies in the stomach. Roman is absolutely delighted and keeps circling around Thomas, suggesting him what to wear, what to say, how to move: in other words, the whole “Himbo hopelessly in love” starter pack.

For a while, the meeting is going smoothly. Then Roman and Virgil notice how, once in a while, Thomas drops a lie. Something like “The food is delicious” when it’s not or “what a beautiful dress” even if it’s hideous. And the two Sides get worried. Once again, they try to force Thomas to stop lying, because Lying Is Always Bad and there can’t be true love with lies.

Still insecure and pushed by them, Thomas stops lying. He inevitably ends up saying something offensive/extremely mean and/or he ends up acting so badly the meeting has to end. Nico finds an excuse to justify Thomas’ behaviour with his parents (something on the line of “Thomas is very tired”) and Thomas is forced to leave.

When he comes back home, the discussion is inevitable. Roman and Virgil straight up blame Thomas for lying in the first place, because he wouldn’t have messed up so much, if he was honest from start.

But when Janus appears to defend Thomas and tells them lying IS useful in some circumstances, the situation escalates quickly. The two Sides attack Janus, blaming him for everything and making heavy statements on how deeply he corrupted Thomas/Patton or something similar. On the other hand, Janus attacks them back. They throw words at each other, things are starting to get pretty serious...

And just when the situation reaches its climax, Patton appears. He takes Janus’ side, he explains why lying is useful - especially during formal circumstances like meeting your boyfriend’s family because you want to be accepted, not to be seen as a complete jerk - and he bluntly tells Morality is HIS job, not Virgil’s nor Roman’s.

In this standstill, Thomas’ phone rings. It’s Nico. He wants to talk with Thomas about the evening. Janus suggests a simple lie (I was tired/long day at work), but Nico tells Thomas this isn’t the first time something similar happened - thus reminding us about all of Thomas’ “bursts of honesty” we saw in the second Aside. Honesty that wasn’t seen as such by Nico, but as weird, mean behaviours from the guy he likes.

So when Thomas tries to justify himself with some lie, Nico stops him. He tells Thomas he thought about a lot of stuff, after the meeting ended. He thought about their relationship. He thought about Thomas’ behaviour. Maybe they should’ve dated more, before becoming boyfriends. Maybe they moved too fast. Maybe introducing Thomas to his parents was the wrong choice. Maybe they should think a bit more. And maybe they should take some time for themselves to think about what they want to do, before going further with this relationship.

Nico hangs up. Janus is speechless. Thomas is on the verge of crying. Patton is heartbroken. Virgil is shocked.

And Roman is absolutely devastated. The love he wanted so badly, this happiness he desperately needed, is now in danger. Instead of strengthening the relationship, everything he did only managed to worsen it.

Roman sinks down and locks himself in his room.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 2

We already had a Side ducking out and a Side welcoming the others in his room so, for this third time, we should try something different. And what’s better than Thomas & his Sides trying to break into Roman’s room?

Remus might appear for a while, just to help them get inside and leave. There are already a lot of issues Roman has to face now: his relationship with Remus can wait season 3.

So we have Thomas, Virgil, Patton and Janus all in Roman’s room. And the confrontation can finally take place.

Roman will talk about his issues, his low self-esteem and how he feels constrained by Patton’s morals. He will finally admit how he desperately wanted to go to the callback and how confused he was by morals, when he first sided with Janus, only to be blamed for not siding with him in the following episode. He would start seeing the problem with his black/white mentality and we would have a nice, mature moment with Patton apologizing for giving Roman this mentality - while promising he will grow to be a better Morality. We would also have Roman and Janus properly apologize to each other for everything they said and finally work things out.

And we can end it like this. It could be a nice ending, with some conflicts solved, others still to solve and a lot of hope for the future. Patton would feel even more motivated to keep up with his growth, because he’s not doing it just for himself but for Roman too. Roman would feel better, because now he knows no one will blame or mock him for his insecurities - on the contrary, they would still be by his side no matter what. Janus would learn that cooperation is necessary and that he should keep doing it, because this is the right choice.

And Virgil... well, Virgil would drop hints everywhere about his upcoming “second arc”.

In the first livestream after FWSA, Thomas hinted at a possible “second arc” for Virgil. So, since we have a whole season to fill, I would move Virgil’s arc, his confrontation with Janus and all the dark sides’ dynamics into the beginning of the third season. For now, Virgil may hint at a future confrontation with Janus that should happen in the first episode of season 3.

And what about Thomas?

Thomas would accept Nico’s decision and write him that he will take this time to become a better man. We may even close the episode with Nico smiling for this message, proving that he’s not mad at Thomas, he still loves him and that their relationship isn’t ended at all.

Then, we would have the end card.

And the end card would feature the Side I purposely took away from the whole season two finale. Logan.

After starring in the second Aside, Logan should completely disappear for the following two episodes and for the finale. No one should mention him or even think about him. He wouldn’t appear at all. Until now.

We would see him in a room, looking at the last episode of season 2 on Youtube. His face would be completely expressionless and he wouldn’t say a word, because the only voices would be the ones coming from the pc. The camera would slightly move to show a figure behind him. A small refocus of the camera on a little orange accent on this figure’s clothes.

And bam, the end. No explanations, no voices, nothing else. Just this. Because this would drive the fandom insane. Did Logan know Orange was behind him? Were they watching the episode together? Was Orange trying to kill him or what? What would happen? All questions that would accompany us while waiting for season three.

_______________________________________

And this is how I think the next Asides and the ending of season two will play out. Of course this is pure speculation and the next Aside might be about something completely new that makes my whole plot useless - but hey, that would mean a whole new theory to elaborate :D

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! And for all the readers, well, feel free to add your own thoughts here about how the events will play out! Maybe one of us will get them right, who knows?

[white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen]

Cross the Ocean

A/N: Requested by @starry--skies​. Sidenote: this may be a good story for a sequel sometime.

Summary: Neal once told you he would cross the ocean to be with you, but when you know he’s in danger, you’ll cross the ocean yourself to save him.

Word Count: 2,955

           How could an apartment feel so cold and empty when the same number of people dwelled in its walls? You supposed it had been long enough that all the signs of him had faded. Spare clothes, returned to June, because there was no one else to return them to; the extra toothbrush trashed because no one was using it, anyway, and why have it take up more space? The linens could only go unwashed for so long, the last flowers he had offered died months ago, and his necklace was sitting in your jewelry box, unseen, because it hurt too much to wear it.

           The same number of people lived in it, true. But Neal hadn’t needed to live there to leave his mark, and now that mark was gone, jumped on a plane without a goodbye, just like him.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

           “Don’t go,” you said, unprompted, staring across the room to the dark shadows covering the wall.

           You could feel his movement as Neal picked up his head. “Where would I go?” He asked, confused, sleepiness adorably muddling his voice.

           You shrugged halfheartedly, already regretting having said it out loud. He felt your shoulders under his arm and tightened his warm hold on you, tugging you closer to the heat of his chest.

           “Just don’t go,” you said again, hugging yourself comfortingly.

           The idea that the man beside you could leave – had a history of leaving – without a trace left you feeling cold already. You were a cautious person, but loving someone the way you suspected you were growing to love Neal made you want to let down your guard. It was scary, like taking off the Kevlar vest to assuage someone with a gun; you were reasonably certain that you were safe, but you were also making yourself vulnerable to massive injury.

           Neal moved his hand slowly, probably just so you would know that he hadn’t fallen asleep. He didn’t answer right away. The silence and the stroking of your arm sent mixed messages and you had just about settled on reading it as pity, and almost curled up tighter and moved away. Did he think you were clingy? Did he think it was pitiful that you expected him to stay with you? Maybe you had misread everything.

           His hand stopped moving and he moved again, just enough to press his lips to your forehead. “Y/N,” he said, softly, his voice clearer. Thinking on it had woken him up more. “I don’t plan to go anywhere. Definitely not anywhere you can’t follow.”

           Whew. There was a softness and delicateness to the way he talked to you, but it sure didn’t sound like pity or exasperation. More like… empathy, and maybe apology, for your evident insecurity and any role that his past played in it.

           “I guess I just – I keep thinking one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be an ocean away.” Without me, you wanted to add, but figured it was implied. And unnecessary, probably, since he had done it to Kate before, or close enough. He had likely learned the kind of damage that did to a relationship.

           Neal resumed his gentle stroking of your arm. “Oceans aren’t a big deal. We’ve got cruises and airplanes now,” he reassured with a playful bit of teasing. More seriously, but very simply and matter-of-factly, he continued, “And if someday we wake up an ocean apart, I’d cross the ocean.”

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

           It was easy to be bitter and easy to resent. In the beginning, you had been insecure, nervous that he would leave overnight when an opportunity arose. How could you not? Neal tried to leave forever without so much as a goodbye to anyone, only stopped by a bomb and a lost love. It had irked you then, and it scared you when your rapport deepened. He had fake documents ready to go, an agreed-upon rendezvous point with Mozzie planned for any given time. Neal worked hard to assure you he loved you. You weren’t sure he ever managed to convince you there was no chance of his leaving, but you at least had confidence that he would say goodbye, give you a chance to have closure.

           No such luck. Part of you knew it wasn’t out of lack of desire, but rather lack of opportunity. The other part wanted it to shut up. Love him as you did, you knew Neal’s situation was a product of his own choices. He made his bed, and he should have lied in it, but for the family he had found in the city who loved him too much to let him rot in the pocket of a man who’d use him as a tool and throw him back in prison the second he stopped being useful – or, worse, leave him to die when it became too much trouble.

           Whenever you embraced the anger, because the sorrow was too overwhelming, you resented Neal for all his stupid choices. Keeping the painting, pulling those stunts on the aerial tramway, and baiting Kramer for months with constant near-misses that could’ve been avoided if he had just stopped breaking the law. It was such a simple solution. And you were angry. The last six months of your relationship had been rocky, because the anger wasn’t new, it wasn’t just because he had gone away. It was because he kept compromising himself, and his coworkers and friends by extension, and yourself by association.

           Holding onto anger was never your forte when it came to Neal, though. Sooner or later, usually within a couple of days, you would see or hear or do something that would remind you of the man, and you’d be hit with a wall of all the good memories, all the things he did that made you feel pride and adoration and contentment. Then came the longing and loss, and finally, the blame. The blame that you had just failed to pin on Neal himself, so you embraced the bitterness instead.

           Peter had one job and instead, he turned Neal loose. Gave him the green light to run. At least if Neal had gone with Kramer, there was the chance of a happy ending. There was a reasonable chance that, with the WCCD at his back, Kramer wouldn’t be able to keep Neal past the two years left on his original sentence, and when it was over he could have come home. Peter had ruined any chance of that, his silent gesture telling Neal that there was no alternative and that he had the approval of his family here. Most importantly, that nod was a goodbye, and acceptance, and an “I love you, so I’m letting you be free”. You’d never begrudged Neal his close relationship with Peter but you felt cheated that, on top of ruining any slight chance of your partner returning to you, he got to say goodbye while you were left blindsided and heartbroken.

           The first time you resorted to bitterness to cope, it lasted several weeks. You avoided Peter and dodged his team. They were worried, and El reached out, but you politely assured her you were fine and just didn’t want to see any of them. She respected your wishes and must have told her husband because he, Diana, and Clinton all stopped trying to find you. Neal’s friends were like salt in your wounds, even the ones who hadn’t told him to go. It was too deep and too fresh to handle the reminders. Hell, you could still barely handle your own apartment. You really didn’t know how deeply in love you were until Neal was gone.

           It took longer, but the bitterness and betrayal ran its course and became exhausting, as well. Finally, you cycled back into sadness and mourning, which took so much out of you but demanded so little. Roses made you cry because you thought of the roses Neal would give you. So did your favorite dress, which was only your favorite because it was his favorite, too. Tiny things that you could expect to encounter at least once every few days would make you feel hopeless. You were grieving, as if he had died. Knowing he was alive and well didn’t soothe the pain because the permanence of his decision to flee the authorities put him so out of your reach, he might as well have died.

           Every run through the stages hurt a little bit less, wound up a little bit shorter. You were healing, you knew, but the ache in your heart persisted. Learning to function again, learning to be prosperous and content without him, was an option, no matter how impossible it seemed on some days. On those days, you weren’t sure you even wanted to. Neal had earned such a place in your life and in your heart, and even when the things he did made you see red, you still knew in both heart and mind that he loved you and was yours. Some little piece of you wanted to still be his, so that you could keep that connection, that last thing you had of him.

           That little piece was such an asshole.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

           A deep delve into your professional life helped keep you occupied so you didn’t think too hard. It wasn’t the healthiest way of processing a breakup, no matter how messy or devastating said breakup was. Still, it was better to be productive and helpful than to let yourself continue spiraling and cycling through destructive emotions and patterns. The summer passed agonizingly slowly but when you looked back, it was like the blink of an eye. Suddenly it had been a whole season since you had last seen Neal. The romantic side of you wanted to say that it hurt just as much as it had before, but… it didn’t.

           You felt awful thinking it, and then awful for feeling awful for having a life after him. Neal was gone. He had no choice about leaving New York, but he did have a choice about how, and he chose the route that left no possibility of a reunion. Why the hell should you wait around for him, wishing you kept hurting for a man who clearly was more interested in his freedom than in recovering what you had together?

           Going home the day you had that thought, you looked at the button for the 21st floor and for the first time in a long time, you actually thought about just poking your head in and seeing how Neal’s other friends were doing, and then you realized the anger was running out. You didn’t have the energy or the will to keep deliberately resenting Neal or Peter.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

           By August, you could look back on everything and understand the decisions that were made. You didn’t agree with them, but you understood the desperation fueling them and the fear that Neal must have felt. The moment Neal’s handler, whoever that was, tied his hands and threw him aside, the man was as good as dead, just in a matter of time. Kramer wasn’t above that. If he were free – even just by flight – Neal could protect himself. You could forgive him for leaving, but you weren’t sure he was forgiven for leaving without even a phone call to you as he booked it to the airport.

           Later that month, though, your personal grievances didn’t seem to matter all that much. A man approached you while you were at work. You thought he was the man you’d asked to come answer some questions, but no – you were the one being questioned. He was cynical, evasive, and exacting, and clearly after information on Neal.

           As soon as he left, you went to the twenty-first floor and beelined for Peter’s office, ignoring the tentative, sympathetic greetings from familiar faces. Peter glanced up when you entered and then did a shocked double-take. It was the first time you had voluntarily approached him in months, after all.

           Peter stood up so quickly his chair legs scraped loudly on the floor. “Y/N,” he said right away, but then obviously had no idea where he was trying to go, unable to figure out what to say. You could see the sympathy and sorrow on his face. Not only did you lose your partner, and Peter had lost his friend, but the other agent had encouraged your partner to leave. He knew from your avoidance that you blamed him, at least partially.

           With a wave of your hand, you dismissed it. Nothing Peter could say would fix the situation. You knew what he had done was in Neal’s best interests, weighing his wellbeing over your feelings. Where Neal wasn’t forgiven, Peter was, finally, and the avoidance that remained was just about trying to distance yourself from reminders of your blue-eyed artist.

           “Someone just came asking questions about Neal,” you said, crossing your arms and peering across the office at Peter. “Agent Collins. He said he’s just tying up loose ends, but he’s not, is he?”

           Peter’s openmouthed surprise turned into a grim purse of his lips. He shook his head, looking frustrated, and gestured for you to close the door. You did, and leaned back against it. “He’s the bureau’s version of a bounty hunter,” the agent confided, putting his fists down on his desk and leaning onto it. “Neal was almost commutated, then slipped out under their noses. It makes them look bad. They want to get him back.”

           You didn’t miss that Peter was using pronouns that excluded himself, but didn’t comment. It was no surprise – he’d made his stance clear when he encouraged Neal to go. “Why now?” You demanded. “It’s been months, surely the trail’s cold.”

           “Best guess?” Peter hazarded, sighing deeply. “They’ve spent this time trying to find him other ways. Now they’re realizing that Neal’s better than they thought and all they want to do is make an example out of him.”

           Oh, hell no. “Like they haven’t already?” You asked snidely. Peter tilted his head aside, not explicitly agreeing but getting his point across all the same.

           The bureau had your trust – for the most part. When it came to their treatment of Neal, your eyes had been opened to how even organizations seeking justice could be completely unjust in their treatment of people who lacked recourse. Neal was frequently put in life-threatening situations with no training and no choice in the matter except to be put back in prison. Enough people knew Neal was working with the FBI for Sing Sing to be a life-threatening situation, in and of itself. Neal was nothing but a tool to them because he lacked the normal resources of walking away or pursuing litigation.

           You looked aside, glowering at the drab office wall. “It gets worse,” Peter wearily told you. “Collins is looking for a win. And at this point, a dead fugitive is just as good of an example as an incarcerated one.”

           “Not happening,” you refused furiously. “What the hell happened to proportionality?” Neal may have pissed some people off, Robin Hood-ing from the one percent, but he was never violent. Sending a bounty hunter after him with permission to kill was wildly inappropriate and inhumane.

           “I’m afraid proportionality isn’t the first thing on the mind,” Peter warned as you stalked further into his office, toward his desk.

           “We have to warn him,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to Peter. Neal was ���run at any time” paranoid, not “stay away from windows” paranoid.

           “Yes,” Peter nodded, “But we can’t. We don’t know where he is. There is no way of telling him.” The agent wasn’t giving up or resigning himself to being useless. As much as there was disappointment and worry in his face, there was also stubbornness.

           “So we find him,” you quietly suggested. “No one knows him better than we do.”

           “Y/N.” Peter dropped his voice to match your volume and spoke with a soft, concerned tone. “You have to understand, finding Neal and not turning him in, much less tipping him off about Collins, is outside the law.”

           “The law is apparently saying it’s okay to murder a man who has, at worst, taken money that isn’t his.” You fervently stated. That wasn’t your first concern, Neal was, but you needed Peter to know that you weren’t just in this because you were in love with the man in question. There was a principle at stake, and a moral obligation. “The equivalent of chopping off a pickpocket’s hand, coming from the government that supposedly despises cruelty and injustice. I won’t support that, and I sure as hell won’t stand by and let it be done to someone I love.”

           While you had been talking, Peter had slowly started to smile. It was the smile he used to always give to Neal when he was proud, when your boyfriend would remind him that Neal was a kind person with a good, loving soul. Having it directed at you reminded you far too much of the smile Neal always gave back and your chest tightened – not just at the memory, but at the decision which meant you were bound to see it again.

           “I knew you were going to say that,” Peter admitted with a small, relieved grin, like the shared challenge and conspiracy were washing all the sourness and distance under the bridge. You really thought that maybe it was. His confidence in you and his commitment to your boyfriend reassured you that you weren’t losing your mind and you weren’t alone, no matter how lonely you’d been feeling. “I just need you to understand what you’re putting at stake.”

           “Wherever he is, when we find him, I’m coming. No matter what.”

[sapphirespencer]

“Do you think you could’ve loved me?” (Spencer x Fem!Reader)

Prompt: “Do you think you could’ve loved me?”

Author’s note: This is my first fic to be published. I love writing but have always kept it to myself. I hope it’s okay!!

Word Count: 1294 :)

Part two

It didn’t take any profiling for the team to notice something was wrong between Spencer and Y/N. It seemed to be etched into their faces for everyone to see. The once longing glances exchanged between the pair had turned into dust, replaced with the complete avoidance of one another. The not so secret hand holding seemed to never have existed. The couple’s usual couch seat on the jet was one they both steered clear of now, as if they were afraid of the intimacy that once consumed them. It was almost as if they had never been together.

“Hotch, can we talk for a minute?” Y/N stood in the doorway of the chief’s office, standing tall but her eyes pleading for the chance to speak. Aaron was shocked, Y/N rarely visited him in his office. Claiming to be “intimidated by the air in that box of an office”, she preferred speaking with him in other spaces, reserving his office for serious matters.

“Of course, Y/N. What do you want to talk about?”

“I’ve requested a transfer last week and I just got news that I’ll be starting in D.C. in a couple of days, but they’ve requested your approval first.” Y/N hoped her superior wouldn’t connect the dots but they were both profilers, she knew it was like second nature for him. 

“If this is what you truly want to do, I’ll permit the transfer and you’ll be on your way,” They held their breaths, both knowing what was to come next. “But if this is about Spencer, we can work around it. We can all find a way t-”

“Hotch, He doesn’t love me.” She cut him off, quick to stop the compromise as it would never have worked in the first place. 

The case had wrecked Y/N, not to mention that her boyfriend had refused to acknowledge her presence for the past three days. It was starting to feel like the jet she was sitting in was caving in on her. Spencer had chosen to sit in the chairs next to Hotch, leaving Y/N laying her head in Emily's lap as they sat on the couch. The same couch that the pair had unofficially claimed to be theirs at the start of their relationship, the couch that had started it all was now...ending it all.

 Spencer’s coldness had started three days ago when he refused to sit on that very couch on the flight to Florida, where they were currently returning from. Y/N hadn’t understood why he had abandoned his seat but decided to focus on the case instead. She still hadn’t understood what was wrong when he moved his hand on to the desk when she had reached for it under the table at the precinct, she just chalked it up to his nerves from having to adjust to the area. But when he again left her alone on the couch when boarding the jet back to Quantico, she understood. She knew what she had done wrong.

She had told Spencer she was in love with him the morning before they left.

Before the car ride back home, Emily, knowing Y/N was breaking inside, had offered to let the heartbroken girl stay the night at her place. Y/N mustered up a small smile as she rested her feet on the tarmac, telling Emily that she would call if she decided to take her up on the offer. When they got back to the small apartment shared in between them, Y/N physically felt the air shift. Everything within the walls of their place now seemed foreign to her, as if she had never lived a day in her life in the place. Spencer filled his cup of coffee as they both knew the heartache that was to follow. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Her voice barely above a whisper, Y/N broke through the oceans that seemed to have made their way between them.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I just... I knew that I couldn’t say it back.” He replied, not daring to look up from the mug on the counter. 

“And you thought this, whatever you’re doing...you thought this would be any better?” Y/N voice, still shaking but now with a certain edge to it, slightly raised in volume.

“It’s better than to say words I don’t mean!” He watched as the words impaled the woman's heart, her eyes flashing with betrayal. Her head slowly fell into her hands that rested on her knees and as she sat on the couch, she ran through every moment she shared with the man standing in front of her. Every stolen kiss, every time they had held each other in times of need, and each glance they shared that made her feel as if they were the only two in the room. 

“If that wasn’t love, then what was it?” They both knew she was thinking her thoughts out loud but they also knew that the question deserved an answer. 

“I don’t know.” But it was an answer the super genius couldn’t supply her with. He cared for her more than he did about himself, but it wasn’t enough. Not this time. 

His eyes never left the woman as she grabbed her go-bag and picked her keys off the desk next to their shared front door. She moved in slight and slow motions, her mind screaming for him to stop her and her body not ready to leave, but he never did.

“Spencer…” He waited for her to continue and with her hand on the door, her tear stricken eyes rose up from the floor to look at him. And as she stared into the eyes of the man she had fallen in love with, she asked the one question that could have saved them.

 “Do you think you could’ve loved me?” The question hung in the air, weighing heavily on both of them. She searched his eyes as she held onto the last shred of hope left in their relationship.

“I don’t know, Y/N.” A tear escaped and slid down her cheek and as she left the apartment that was once filled with so much joy, she couldn’t help but wish to hate him. But she loved him too much.

Hotchner felt his heart hurting for her as she stood in front of him, clearly recalling a painful moment shared between her and Spencer, tears slowly pooling in her eyes. Y/N, being one of the youngest in the team, had always been like a daughter to him and he couldn’t help but want to be selfish in his reasons to disapprove of the transfer. But deep down, he knew she couldn’t stay. He knew that her parent’s had given her a traumatic experience with love, but despite her past, she had braved her mind to allow herself to fall in love with Spencer. She had spent so many nights at Hotch’s house, spilling her thoughts to him and asking for advice. Loving Spencer had meant everything to her. Denying her the transfer wouldn’t be fair to her.

“You have to promise to call, okay? And visit. Jack would miss you too much.” ‘And so would I’ He thought, leaving that part out, but she already knew.

“I promise. You’re my family, I can’t lose you guys.” She smiled as she pulled him into a hug. 

“Good luck in D.C.”

“Thank you.” He wiped her tears and his eyes followed her as she left his office to return to the now empty bullpen. He watched, surprisingly in tears of his own, as she packed as much as she could in a box, knowing she would return tomorrow to retrieve the rest and say her goodbyes to the team.

[theangelofangst]

The Importance of Donatello

So because I have SAINW on the brain I wanted to write my thoughts on just how important Donnie is to the 2k3 series as a whole.

I know there are some people when they rank the turtles in terms of skill they almost always put Donnie at the bottom because his skills with his bo staff aren’t on par compared Leo agility, Raph’s aggressions and Mikey’s speed. Seeing that compared to Mikey, he’s mostly always getting knocked down or hurt.

But here’s the thing just because Don isn’t as atheistic as his brothers doesn’t mean he can’t hold his own and doesn’t in any way mean he isn’t important. He’s skilled in other ways, he’s got an IQ of 637. He’s enhanced and creator things not even Stockman can even dream of. Not only that, but when he uses his smarts, he uses them to help his brothers, his family. Everything Don does, he does for them.

Because he’s compassionate, because he wears his heart on his sleeve and just, wants to make sure the people he loves are safe and protected.

But a thought; what would happen if Donnie was around? Well SAINW!Mikey said it best:

In the SAINW Universe Donnie’s disappearance may not have started Shredder’s rule over the world but it definitely was the reason why his family drifted away in the first place.

Without Donnie, they weren’t a team anymore. Without him not only were they heartbroken and compromised by his sudden disappearance, but without him to come up with a plan to handle this new threat the Shredder posed they were left blindsided when they eventually got ambushed, which caused Splinter’s death, which also caused Leo and Raph to have a falling out and for their team, for their family to fall apart. Leaving Mikey, the youngest turtle and the baby of the family alone and bitter at the world

And even when they tried to come together (which was stated that they have before), to be a team again for the greater good because who else was going to stop the Shredder but them, the Turtles who knew him the most? But when they tried to put it all behind them

It didn’t work. Because without Donatello. Without their brother standing by them. They couldn’t be a team anymore. Because it hurt too much.

Because Donnie, kind and caring Donatello. Was the level head turtle, because kept his brothers all grounded with logic and big words they sometimes don’t understand. He was calm and smart and always had a plan. Always have a plan within a plan because he’s a genius, always thinking and inventing, his mind moving faster then others could dream of.

Donatello in the 2k3 series may not be as skilled as his brothers are in terms of combat but he’s still important to them in the grand scheme of things and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

[migleefulmoments]

Cassie: "Nonnie, I do get where you're coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won't always be this way." If your bf is choosing to live a fake life and expects you to just go along with it for X number of years, he is not worth it. I don't care if he is Darren Criss or any other attractive famous man, no person on Earth is worth the heartache that ccChris has probably been through whilst watching his "hubby" constantly choose fame over him.

Cassie’s answer really blew me away. She’s has chugged down all of Abby’s Kool-Aid and she’s fully buying into Abby’s juvenile ideas about relationships, sacrificing for love, and the power of love. THE 5 have clearly read Twilight one too many times! Everything they know about love, they learned from Bella and Edward who taught them with the idea that love is all-consuming, that there is no sacrifice that is too much as long as he loves you, and that in the end, happily ever will save the day. 

You’re right, there are a lot of scenarios where love is not enough and you have to walk away for your own mental or emotional well being. Sometimes it is an abusive partner making bad ccchoices and sometimes it is a wonderful partner whose future no longer looks like yours. One of my favorite Youtubers just announced she split with her husband 2 years ago and kept it a secret- even wearing her rings in the first half of this video! They broke up simply because they reached a point where they realized there was a fundamental difference in what they each wanted in life and the relationship couldn’t go forward (she wouldn’t say what that was). My husband’s cousin got divorced after her husband realized he wanted to be a dad and she wasn’t interested in children. Another YouTuber I watch called off their engagement after they realized she wanted a picket fence on a cul-de-sac and he wanted to a cave in the middle of nowhere (he was dead serious).  Their goals were incompatible and asking one to compromise wasn’t fair or healthy. ccDarren chose fame over ccChris and their relationship. ccDarren is unwilling to risk his position in Hollywood in order to openly love ccChris. He is so caught up in being THE actor, musician, and executive producer Darren Criss, that he married a woman he despises and spends all his time with her. She enjoys the lifestyle his fame has provided for him while ccChris has to hide in the rafters and scurry around ccDarren’s life completely unseen. ccDarren is incapable -or unwilling -to rid himself of his toxic team whose main goal is to “ccruin him” and by extension, ccChris. I don’t believe that the same man who gave this interview would choose to stay in a relationship where his feelings and needs always come second to ccDarren’s career.  Spending 1:00 am-7:00 am spooning the night away is hardly compensation for having to keep their relationship hidden and standing by while his lover lives his life with another person. Scurring in the dark and in disguise certainly isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive and healthy for 10 years.

(My comments are in italics below)

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Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation. (Cassie et. al believe that love makes it all ok and that ccChris chose to stay so making him as culpable as ccDarren. It’s an interesting theory- basically, she’s saying that anyone who is an abusive relationship is culpable for the abuse because they chose to stay in the relationship. This is a dangerous and harmful belief because it ignores all of the barriers that keep people in abusive relationships- lack of money, lack of a safe place to go, fearing for their lives if they leave, low self-esteem from the abuse-to name just a few. I realize that Cassie is just turning ccChris staying in an abusive relationship into ccconfirmation bias, but she’s speaking to a lot of young people who don’t understand that and are learning that they should always stay because love makes everything ok.  “At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about.” Besides the fact that that kind of love exists in fanfiction and Twilight, I am gobsmacked that a middle-aged adult would imagine she knows this about Chris Colfer’s love life. The most Chris has ever said about his love life is to say tell a young fan that his dedication was to his boyfriend, to acknowledge to Andy Cohen that he had a boyfriend, and to acknowledge to Sandra Bernhart that Will was his boyfriend. Oh, and he said several times that he was not in a relationship with Darren. To believe he has a “love that most people only dream about” she would have to fabricate every detail single details she thinks she knows.  That is not the behavior of a healthy adult.   Big strong ccChris who went through hell and came out so strong that nothing touches him now. He’s the “glue that holds them together” and the “Captain of the ship” even though he’s literally being ignored while ccDarren lives a very full life with Mia by his side. Poor widdle, innocent ccDarren who grew up wealthy and since wealthy people live perfect lives and everyone around them is kind, he never learned who to trust. Gag)  

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too. (See the video and my transcript below. Notice that Chris never mentions his love life in any of the statements that Flowers believes are 100% about his relationships) 

notes-from-nowhere:

I agree with @flowersintheattic254. This is such a good interview

Anonymous asked: I guess it makes sense that C’s the rock. I guess it’s just me thinking that since C’s out and proud, he deserves the same from his partner. But as you said, D was too trusting and I guess C is his strength, keeping him from giving up on everything shitty he’s going through. (Such a good little minion, repeating everything she’s groomed to believe) 

Cassie: Nonnie, I do get where you’re coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won’t always be this way.

**************************************************

I listened to Chris’s interview and he was asked about ambition:

Chris: ... I was really good at playing that character (Kurt).  People really do think I was playing myself and although we were experiencing very very similar things, I was very different from that character.  I was much more cynical than that character.

Tom: In fact, I am glad you brought that up. I heard in an interview someone asked you if you were a character in Game of Thrones and you said ‘I want to say that I would be the Mother of Dragons but I think I am actually Cersei’. 

Chris: I‘m sorry but she is a woman who knows what she wants and she goes out and she gets it. Her methods-her strategy- is a little questionable but I just love any woman with a drive. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school I was chosen to put on my own show. It’s called the senior show.  Every year one senior in the drama class got selected to basically put on whatever they want and usually they would put on an SNL-type variety sketch kind of show, but I was like “Nope I’m writing a musical” and I gender-reversed Sweeny Todd and called it Shirley Todd so I could be Mrs. Lovett so I was Mr. Lovett.  Because we were all seniors, no one wanted to do it and I ended up blackmailing all of them to be in it.  It was a great show. 

Tom: Walk me through how that drive and ambition has manifested in your life. Is that something you value in yourself? Is that something that you’re skeptical of in yourself because when you answer that question- and I fully understand that was a little tongue-in-cheek, but when you say “I fear that I’m actually Cersei” is there part of you that is very cognizant that there is a line that you can cross with drive and ambition or...

Chris: Oh I think so, I think that ambition is so much a part of who I am-maybe to a fault- but I’ve never got to the point where I was so ambitions that I was causing harm. I think growing up, ambition and hope and goals and dreams was literally all that I had. My family didn’t have money and I wasn’t good looking and I wasn’t athletic, I could act and I could sing, I could write but there aren’t many areas for you to do that when you are a young person- at least when I was a young person they weren’t. So I think my ambition sort of just became my imaginary friend. It was a survival tool, it wasn’t narcissism, it was survival. 

Tom: In that, I can be somewhere else, I can be bigger than this, I can go places was that the sort of your savor mechanism?

Chris: Yeah, I think it was  Making a treasure map to a life that was better than what the life I was in currently. That is what it was for me.  Hence, why I also identify so much with fantasy and superheroes and Greek mythology and literature it was all part of ...yeah, I always use fictitious people as my examples of getting somewhere.

---------

Chris: To go back to what you said about bullying, I’m in a weird place right now because I played a bullied kid on national television, you know for 20 million people a week watched me get pushed into lockers and thrown on floors and called “a faggot” called “queer”... all these negative things and I experienced all that myself in real life.  I really let people know that was one of the reasons why people connected to my performance because it was coming from such a real place and I let people know i was bullied horribly when I was a kid. I was bullied so horribly in middle school that my mom pulled me out of school and homeschooled me because the harassment got so severe.  But I’m at his weird place right now that I feel like I’m so not a victim anymore ...that I kind of- maybe it’s my ego- I don’t know, but I get tired of being associated with someone who is bullied because I don’t allow that to happen anymore. At all! I’m proud of where I’m at now because the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage of me or isn’t kind... I have the option to walk away now- which I didn't when I was a kid. But I feel like I have to stop talking about it because I’ve told millions and millions of kids around the world that it is something you get to leave behind.  Because of my circumstances, I don’t get to leave it behind because I’m always asked about it and it’s a good thing to talk about because it’s still going on but as a certain point, I feel like I’m doing the kids who look up to me a disservice when I keep talking about it becuase it does-maybe for them-  seem like it doesn’t leave me. Does that make sense?

Tom: If this was the last words that you speak on the subject of being bullied what would you say that was your process to close that chapter.. to feel good about yourself.  I’m definitely putting words in your mouth, being born in some way where that is not who you are anymore? 

Chris: It is really about just knowing that you get to move on from it. That is the thing... adolescence is the toughest time in your life because you have no freedom but you have all this responsibility. You are expected to make adult decision but you don’t get the benefits of being an adult and you’re literally trapped in an environment- high school- unless you are homeschooled. You have no control of who you are around and probably the lesson or the bridge that I crossed in my life that has given me the most relief is knowing that I don’t have to be in any environment that I do not want to be in. I think that would be the message that I would give to kids who are being bullied. But also the world is full of assholes. Bullies, they do go away at a certain point, but there will always be people in your life that you don’t like, that are mean and rude and when you do go through a period of harassment- especially when you are young- you do learn how to overcome that and how to maybe have inner peace but you can’t ever control the world around you but you do learn a lot of good communications skills. I think. 

Chris makes it very clear that he is NOT Kurt

Chris identifies with a character who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it. That is very different from ccChris who is sitting back and accepting that he is not a priority for 10 years and counting. 

Ambition and drive are very important to Chris- ccChris is allowing Darren to drive the relationship.  Darren is getting everything he wants while Chris continues to make all of the sacrifices.  

Chris is adamant that he will not be bullied every again and that he will wake away from anyone taking advantage of him. The cc fandom heard this and saw it as confirmation bias because he is still in a ccrelationship with ccDarren aka he doesn’t see the relationship as being abusive or that he’s being taken advantage of therefore ccChris just confirmed CrissCofler is real and that ccChris is in control. 

The final paragraph is once again confirmation bias- Chris no longer has to be in an environment he doesn’t want to be in- hence he’s happy with ccDarren. By saying that people are still assholes, he confirmed that Ryan Murphy, Mia and Darren’s team are all assholes but he’s in control now and it doesn’t let them ruin his life.. 

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @aflailureandamasterpiece!

I know you like lots of Angst, except I'm uh...very bad at that; so here's a compromise with some Light Angst. I hope you like it!

Read on AO3

*****

So we stay in this mess, this beautiful mess tonight

Stiles’ grandfather - deeply religious, incredibly annoying - had told him God had given him a soulmark, but then realized he didn’t deserve it and took it away. Stiles’ dad comforted him, saying Grandpa had lost his marbles. Stiles doesn’t blame him. They all went crazy after the accident happened. Grandpa lost his daughter, and gave up on filtering his words. Dad lost his wife, and drowned himself in whiskey. Stiles lost his mom, and with her, the desire to speak.

His dad stopped taking him to his grandpa, choosing to leave Stiles home and visiting by himself, something Stiles was completely fine with. He felt guilty enough about the accident all by himself without Grandpa putting the blame on him, or inviting God into the equation.

The fact that he would never see his soulmark didn’t even occur to Stiles until much later. The scars scattered over his arms serve as a constant reminder of the night the car turned upside down, and somewhere underneath them are the first words his soulmate will speak to him.

After a while, it stopped bothering him. It was a flawed system anyway. Not everybody has a soulmate, people with soulmarks don’t always find their soulmates, and even if you do, there’s a chance a drunk driver crashes into you and you only get to spend twelve years together.

---

Stiles stumbles down the stairs with a yawn and accepts the coffee Dad hands him when he walks into the kitchen.

“Sleep well?” Dad asks, and Stiles nods and smiles. He signs, ‘Thank you’, before grabbing some bread.

They’ve had plenty of fights in the past, of course. Dad got frustrated that Stiles refused to talk, took him to a multitude of doctors and therapists to find an explanation but they all told him the same thing. Selective mutism caused by trauma, and it was completely up to Stiles when or if he would ever talk again. They eventually agreed to both learn sign language so they could communicate when needed. Still, Stiles didn’t like to use it often, preferring to listen to his dad talk while nothing was expected of him.

He fixes up a healthy sandwich for his dad, then puts it in his lunchbox; quickly writes ‘Enjoy! ;)’ on a post-it note and throws it in there as well before he hands it over. Dad lifts an eyebrow impressively high, but he knows he has nothing on Stiles’ eyebrow powers. He admits his loss, gives Stiles a hug and leaves for the day.

As soon as Stiles has got his own breakfast and lunch prepared, he heads out towards the bookstore.

---

Derek Hale hates his fucking soulmark. Don’t get him wrong, he likes the concept of soulmates, and knowing there’s someone out there for him who he could spend his whole life with, but did it need to be this? Could he not have gotten anything more romantic? A soulmate whose first words were something along the lines of ‘Shitdamn, I think I’m in love with you’, not his own fucking name .

The swirly ‘Derek’ on his arm has been the bane of his existence for over ten years. It’s also his family’s favourite thing to bring up whenever they can. His sisters will walk into a room calling his name, then follow it up with ‘Oh no, it’s just me!’ and break into laughter. His mom will tell them off after she schools her face into a more serious expression, but Derek knows the truth. He always makes sure to throw her a suspicious glare.

The reason it’s such a big joke in the Hale house is because it has gone wrong so often for him in the past. It all started when Derek was featured in the Beacon Hills Gazette after their High School Basketball team had won big. There was a picture of the team in their uniforms, and Derek’s soulmark was perfectly visible on his forearm.

Everybody in Beacon Hills knows what his soulmark says, and Kate Argent was the first person to take advantage of that fact. Lucky for Derek, Kate wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box and had forgotten Derek had met her once before. After the third time she emphasised his name and showed off her cleavage, Derek had run home and told his mom about her. Kate left town the next day.

The second was Jennifer Blake. In her case, Derek wasn’t even sure about the first words she spoke to him, since she approached him as if they had met before. (In retrospect, Derek should have known something was up.) They dated for a few months until Derek found out her real name was Julia Baccari, and when he confronted her about it, she slapped him and ran out the door. However, since Derek, as a Deputy, had found out about her real name because there was a warrant out for her arrest, she was quickly intercepted.

It only left Derek a tiny bit heartbroken - mostly because his love life felt doomed - and so his family decided to distract him with humor. If he awarded the concept of soulmates with less importance, if he could try to ignore it and just let it happen to him, he would be much better off.

Today is Derek’s day off, and since the holidays are coming up, he’s on the look-out for gifts. After picking up a mountain of socks for Laura (per her request), he decides to check out the new bookstore in town. Well, it’s not so much new as Derek has been too lazy to check it out and now it’s six months later. Oh well.

The store is very clearly split up into different genres, and Derek decides to check out the art corner, since Cora has been getting into painting lately. The family group chat and its several sub-units during any type of gift-giving season have informed him that Laura would be buying art supplies, Mom and Dad are giving her a trip to New York to visit the Guggenheim (show-offs) and Cora is buying herself a tablet so Derek is left with art books.

He picks out three books and adds a tote bag that says ‘Wake Me Up Before You Gogh Gogh’. He walks over to the register to hand over his items, and he smiles at the young man. Derek’s never been one for small talk, and since the man doesn’t seem to be either, Derek decides to take advantage of the silence while he’s being rung up and takes his time to appreciate the other man’s features. He’s tall, but not lanky, and his skin is speckled with moles. When he turns around and faces him, Derek is struck by his piercing amber eyes that catch the light just right. He’s downright gorgeous . Derek looks down and blushes, ignores the twitch in his pants, and decides to focus on the man’s name card. ‘Mieczysław’, it says, and Derek feels zero shame as he notes it down on his phone.

Derek looks up as the man in question clears his throat, and he blushes again when Mieczysław points at the display on the register telling him how much he owes. He hands over the cash quickly, and as soon as Mieczysław hands him his bag, Derek makes a run for it.

---

‘Leather Jacket Man’, as Stiles has started calling him in his head, returns twice more that same week. Once to buy a book about knitting, which earned him a playful eyebrow quirk from Stiles, and a second time Stiles is pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to notice. L.J.M. had come in, looked at the register and ran out again, blushing like a maniac. Stiles thinks he’s adorable, but also, hot as balls , and he hopes he’ll come back soon to introduce himself.

As luck would have it, Stiles is restocking the shelves in the Young Adult section when he hears the little bell on the door ring. He turns to give the new customer a wave, and is granted the glorious sight of L.J.M. instead. Except he’s not wearing a leather jacket. He’s wearing a big chunky knitted sweater, and Stiles has a strong suspicion he made it himself.

“Mieczysław,” Chunky Knitted Sweater Man says, and Stiles’ mouth drops open. It was with an obvious accent, and the pronunciation was just slightly off, but that was his name. Someone actually tried to pronounce his name. Stiles has gotten so used to people laughing when they saw his name tag, or people saying they felt sorry for him, or the worst one ‘How could your parents do that to you?’, and no one has ever attempted to say it out loud. There are butterflies in his stomach and a grin breaking free on his face, even if he’s scolding himself at the same time because for God’s sake, it’s just a name .

C.K.S.M. is staring at him nervously, and Stiles realizes he hasn’t even reacted besides a maniacal smile.

“Was that right? Did I say it right? I googled it, and I had the little computer voice show me how to say it, but you never know with that stuff, and you’re laughing at me, oh God, I’m so sorry, I butchered it, didn’t I-”

Stiles interrupts him by showing him his hand, and quickly takes out his phone to type out a message. He presses the play button and listens as the app says, “ Call me Stiles, please .”

He watches C.K.S.M.’s face closely for his reaction, and he’s rewarded with a gorgeous grin as C.K.S.M. mutters “Stiles”. He types out another message.

“ Thank you for saying my name, though. No one ever tries. You were almost right. ”

C.K.S.M. sends him a smirk. “Then I’ll need to practise more.”

Stiles points at him with a tilted head as he blushes and C.K.S.M. startles. “Oh! Sorry! I’m Derek.”

Stiles reaches out and shakes his hand with a smile, and starts typing again.

“ Anything I can help you with? ”

“Oh, no, I’m just looking.”

When Derek’s eyes don’t move away from Stiles’ face, Stiles grins and bites his lip. He types out “ Well, enjoy ,” and turns back to restocking. He makes sure to lean down towards the bottom shelf, and is grateful he decided to wear tight jeans today. He can’t hold in a snicker when he hears the choked off “Fuck” behind him.

If Stiles is completely honest, Derek has the kind of face he’d love to sit on, and stubble that he knows would be super annoying yet oddly pleasing as the man wreaked havoc on his ass. Stiles is now painfully aware of how hard he is in the middle of his workplace and tries to will his erection into submission.

He rises and adjusts himself in his pants while Derek mutters “Oh my guhh- I gotta go.” He clears his throat. “See you later, Stiles.”

Stiles winks and laughs when Derek walks out with a slightly wider step than necessary.

---

Derek’s innocent crush on Stiles quickly turns into an obsession with him. A healthy one, of course. It just means that every day, after work (barring the night shifts), he stops at the bookstore and hangs out with him. Sometimes that means restocking, even though he does a terrible job of it, and sometimes he joins Stiles at the register. If it’s busy, he’ll read whatever’s closest to him, and if it’s not, he and Stiles can just talk.

The first day Derek had gotten up the nerve to talk to Stiles, and butchered his name, he went home, jerked off in his bathroom because he couldn’t not . After dinner he asked Laura and Cora if they knew anything about him. Laura got way too excited but didn’t actually have any information so Derek quickly tuned her out. Cora, however, had gone to school with him.

She said she had never heard him speak even once in high school, and most teachers - with the exception of Mr. Harris - had never even mentioned it. Stiles did his tests and his homework, and always paid attention during class. When there was an oral presentation, most teachers gave him a replacement assignment, so the other students couldn’t complain either. “There’s always the occasional jackass,” Cora said, “But Stiles’ friends made quick work of them.”

The mystery surrounding Stiles’ lack of voice was still in the back of his mind, but Derek discovered it didn’t matter much to him. Sure, conversations would happen a lot quicker if Stiles didn’t need to type what he wanted to say into his phone, but Derek now uses those moments to stare at Stiles unabashedly. Then, when the phone relays his message, Derek can track the emotions behind it on Stiles’ face. Basically, Derek is doing a whole lot of Stiles-watching. And later when he’s alone in his room, he can do a whole lot of Stiles-remembering as he fucks his own fist.

They both know they’re attracted to each other, that much is clear. Derek has spent enough time staring at Stiles’ ass to show his intentions, and Stiles never hesitates to trail his fingers over Derek’s stomach through his shirt as he needs to pass by. Derek has been wearing thinner and thinner shirts, even though it’s fucking December.

In the past few weeks, his shifts at the Station have been crazy, and the few times Derek had off, Stiles was busy in the store, especially during the holidays. They haven’t been able to find time for a date, let alone plan what they would do and where they’d do it. (Eventually in a bed, Derek hopes.) They haven’t even kissed yet. Don’t get him wrong, there have been plenty of opportunities, but Stiles refuses to get up to any shenanigans in the store. He has gotten into the habit of biting his lip a lot around Derek, which Derek has now discovered is his ultimate weakness.

Derek is helping Stiles out in the store, or at least he was, until Stiles pushed him into one of the armchairs after Derek had yawned for the umpteenth time. He had a late shift the night before and then didn’t sleep well, but he wasn’t gonna abandon Stiles in the store. They had developed a routine by now, and Derek didn’t want to be the first to stray from it.

He yawns again and stretches until he almost slides out of the comfy chair. There’s an odd sound coming from the register when Derek pulls his shirt back down but when he looks over, Stiles is just typing on his laptop. Must have been the radio or something. He decides to test his theory by standing up and stretching his arms up towards the ceiling. Derek watches as Stiles nearly chokes on his tea.

Five minutes later, when he’s reading some magazine, he notices that Stiles has disappeared. There’s a sign on the counter that says ‘Back in 10 minutes. Please don’t steal anything.’, and Derek is looking around for Stiles when his phone chimes. ‘That was a sign for you to follow me to the back, you idiot,’ the text reads, and Derek trips over his own feet before he runs into the backroom. The door slams behind him and before he knows it he’s pushed up against the wall.

Stiles grabs Derek’s head as he kisses him, nips at his lip and licks inside. He jumps up to wrap his legs around Derek’s waist, and Derek doesn’t hesitate to push him against the opposite wall for more leverage. The taste of Stiles’ lips is addictive, as are the tiny moans that leave Stiles’ mouth every so often. Stiles pulls at Derek’s hair until he moves back a little so he can catch his breath. They stare at each other with heavy breaths for a few seconds before Derek can’t hold himself back any longer and starts kissing Stiles’ neck, his jaw, right behind his ear, anything that can get more of those filthy sounds out of Stiles.

Eventually, Stiles pushes him back and leans his forehead against Derek’s. He nips at Derek’s bottom lip one final time before he unwraps his legs and stands by himself. Stiles clears his throat and walks towards the store. His hand is on the doorknob when he turns around and runs to kiss Derek firmly on the lips, once, twice, like he can’t seem to help himself. Derek kisses him back and then pushes him away with a last slap on his ass. Stiles’ laugh echoes through the hallway after he leaves and Derek is so, so fucked.

---

It’s a Saturday, and miraculously, Stiles doesn’t have to work today. He sent a text to Derek this morning to see when his shift ended, because they could finally spend some time together without anybody else around, for hours . Now they’re lying on the couch downstairs, letting a movie play in the background as they make out lazily.

Derek is sweet, kind, and Stiles is dangerously close to admitting to himself that he has feelings for the man. It’s not like Stiles is waiting for the one - he has hooked up with enough people in the past and never felt bad about it - but he still knows there is a soulmate out there for him. Tiny specks of black ink amidst all the scars tell him he does, even if that’s all he’ll ever know. So to be here with Derek now, and to be feeling like this, just leaves him confused.

“Hey,” Derek interrupts his thoughts. “You okay?”

Stiles nods quickly and pecks him on the cheek.

“So… I know you might not like this,” he starts. “But I wanna ask you some stuff. Is that okay? If you don’t wanna answer anything, that’s fine of course, but I’m just...curious, I guess.”

Stiles had been expecting this, of course. Derek has never once asked him to talk, or to explain why he didn’t talk, or if he ever would. And even though Stiles appreciates it so much, he also knew he’d have to explain eventually. Not everything, but some things. He owes him that.

He grabs his phone to open the app, and nods at Derek with a smile.

“I’m just gonna be blunt, so if anything bothers you, just say so and I’ll move on, okay?” At Stiles’ encouraging nod, he continues, “Can you talk?”

“ Yes. ”

“But you don’t want to?”

It’s surprisingly close to the truth, and Stiles is so glad Derek didn’t ask, ‘Then why don’t you?’

“ Sort of. ” He changes his mind and types again. “ Yes. ”

Derek doesn’t wait long to process his answers. “Do you think you ever will?”

“ Honestly, I don’t know. Doctors don’t know, science doesn’t know. If it happens, it happens, I guess? ” Stiles takes his time to type out his answer. “ I’m not doing this on purpose. This isn’t my choice. I’ve never felt the urge to speak, so I’ve never forced my voice to work or to convey anything because there was always another way for me to communicate. There’s some sort of block between my brain and my voice, as if they got a divorce when I was ten and stopped talking to each other. I don’t know if that makes sense. None of this makes sense. That’s the point. But this is where we’re at. And I’ve found a solution for it. Maybe one day I’ll say something and you won’t get me to shut up. Who knows? ”

Derek snickers at the last part. “I’m sure you’re an annoying little shit with or without your voice.”

Stiles gives him the finger but laughs.

“I like the sound of your laughter.” Derek doesn’t look like that was supposed to come out of his mouth, not with the way he’s suddenly blushing and hiding his face in Stiles’ armpit.

“ Wow. You’re a fucking sap. ”

“Shut up,” his armpit mumbles.

---

Stiles doesn’t like to drive. The only reason he even got in the car today was because Dad had left his lunch on the counter and Stiles wanted to make sure he had it in time. Dad was very likely to just grab a burger instead of heading home for it, so Stiles drove. And then he stopped. Suddenly and violently. Because a car had driven into the side of his jeep in the middle of a crossroad.

This wasn’t even a busy crossroad. Stiles can’t remember driving on this road and seeing other cars. He stares out of his windshield at the empty road in front of him and doesn’t realize he hasn’t taken a breath in a while.

Suddenly his door is yanked open and a hand grabs him, pulling him outside and throwing him against his car.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, asshole?” A loud voice screams in his face. “Did you not see my bright fucking yellow car?”

Stiles breathes in and takes in his surroundings. A twenty-something guy in a tracksuit is standing in front of him, his hand on Stiles’ shirt.

“Did you fucking smash your head when you cut me off? Or are you just an idiot? Do you even fucking hear me?”

The man shakes him and Stiles takes the opportunity to sink to his knees on the gravel. It’s like he’s in slow-motion while the rest of the world speeds ahead.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

When Stiles looks up, the man grows angrier.

“So you can fucking hear me. Do you think I’m an idiot or something?”

Stiles isn’t crazy enough to nod, but the man seems to recognize it on his face anyway.

“Say something, you fucking turd!”

When Stiles remains quiet, the angry man suddenly looks triumphant. “Wait a minute, you’re the Stilinski freak, aren’t you? My dad’s told me all about you, you fucking piece of shit. Told me you’re just a weirdo.”

It isn’t the first time Stiles has heard these words, of course. High School is full of asshole teenagers, but this time, there’s no Lydia to snap back, no Danny to laugh it off, no Scott to threaten to kick them in the nuts. He’s alone, and in danger. He’s scared.

There are sounds in the background, but Stiles hears nothing but the angry shouts in his face about how he’s worthless , he’s pretending , he’s a freak .

The voice turns quieter, and suddenly there’s a different, more familiar face in front of him.

“Derek?”

The sound of his own voice surprises both him and Derek, and after a second that seems to last forever, Derek takes him in his arms and hugs him tightly.

“Yeah, Stiles, I’m here.” He sits back and looks at his arm, and Stiles doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand, until he does.

He reaches out and drags the fabric of Derek’s sweater up, and there it is. The only word Stiles has spoken since he was ten years old, written in black ink on Derek’s skin.

“How-” His voice croaks. How are you here , he wants to ask.

“Me and my partner have been following this asshole since he ran a light a couple streets away. We would have been here faster if he hadn’t watched one too many fast and furious movies and tried to ditch us.”

Only then does Stiles notice the uniform, and he could slap himself. How did he not know Derek was a Deputy?

“I-” he tries, but Derek shushes him.

“Are you okay? Did he touch you? I swear, I’ll kick his ass if he touched you, I don’t give a fuck about the uniform.”

Stiles panics until he has his phone in hand and can type.

“ I’m okay. Sort of. But I’m okay. I’m not hurt. Just in shock. ”

Derek nods. “Okay. Good. We’re still taking this asshole in, but I’m glad you’re not hurt.”

Stiles doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods too. He breathes in, heavy and wet, and grabs Derek’s waist so he can hide his face and cry a little bit.

---

Derek takes Stiles home after he promises Haines he’ll take care of the paperwork later. He watches as Haines drives the Harris kid to the station, then gets in the car. Right now, Stiles needs to rest, and Derek needs to take care of him, comfort him, needs to not freak out about the fact that he found his soulmate , at least until said soulmate is awake to freak out with him .

A few hours later, when Stiles has taken a nap (which Derek accidentally joined him for), he sits up with a jolt. He reaches over to raise Derek’s sleeve, and Derek can’t stop the smile forming.

“Hey,” he says, and kisses Stiles’ unresponsive lips.

Stiles clears his throat. “Hi. Fuck.”

Derek is so shocked by the unexpected swear, he laughs out loud. “Jesus, I’m glad that wasn’t the first word you said to me.”

For the first time, Stiles cracks a smile. “I didn’t know, by the way. That you were mine.” He points at his own arm helpfully. “My...soulmate.”

Derek caresses the scars and kisses them before he pulls Stiles back down onto the bed.

“Stiles,” he says. “Do you want to talk, or do you want your phone?”

Stiles shrugs. “Dunno. It’s weird.”

“Okay.” Derek smiles. “Just tell me if it gets too weird, alright?”

He nods and chuckles.

“What?”

“I just remembered your first word to me. It’s kinda fucking poetic.”

“I guess the universe is a fucking sap too.”

“Yeah, it fucking is.”

“Stop swearing,” Derek says, but he’s laughing too.

“Fuck no,” Stiles grins. “My dad once installed parental control on my speech app so I wouldn’t swear, and I came up with so many new swear words he uninstalled it himself three days later.”

“Oh my God,” Derek chuckles. “Why does that not surprise me?”

“Well, it should. I‘m a fucking enigma. A mystery. No one knows what’s going in my head at any given time.”

“You want me to kiss you until you can’t breathe.”

Stiles pulls Derek on top of him and bites at his lip. “Lucky guess.”

Derek straddles Stiles and leans his elbows by his head before leaning down and slowly, torturously slowly nipping and licking and kissing inside until Stiles’ whiney moans are making him move his hips and grind into him.

He’s fully hard in his borrowed sweatpants, and Stiles’ thin pants don’t leave much to the imagination either. Soon they’re thrusting up against each other with whispered fuck ’s and there ’s.

When Derek pulls off Stiles’ shirt there’s a careless swipe of his thumbs against Stiles’ nipples, something he then does again when he hears Stiles moan. He chucks his own clothes along with Stiles’ pants over the edge of the bed and Stiles seems to choke.

“Fuck you.” He trails his fingertips over Derek’s abdomen. “No wait, fuck me. Wait. Yes. Fuck me. I’ll do you next time.”

“ Jesus ,” Derek grunts and when Stiles starts to grin, he rushes to intervene.

“Please, call me-”

“Don’t you dare.”

Stiles pulls him down and kisses him deeply before whispering. “Derek, don’t get me wrong, tomorrow I want your tongue in my ass for at least 30 minutes, but if you don’t get your fingers inside of me soon, I’ll have to take things into my own hands. And I’m a little tired of my own hands.”

“Get the lube.”

Derek slicks his fingers before reaching down and massaging Stiles’ rim. He’s stuck between wanting to take his time to watch Stiles fall apart or rushing ahead so he can sink his cock into him as fast as possible, but the sounds Stiles is producing make the decision for him. He pushes a finger inside, waits for Stiles to adapt, and starts moving it to loosen Stiles up. A few gentle thrusts later and Stiles is begging for another finger, another .

Somehow Stiles has managed to contort himself enough to grab a condom out of his drawer and throws it at Derek. “Some time today would be nice.”

He rolls on the condom, slicks himself up and nudges at Stiles’ entrance. “Good things come to those who wait.”

“You’re ridicul-oh shit!” Stiles says as Derek slips inside. He moans when Derek starts thrusting at a steady pace, and pulls his head down to kiss him stupid.

Derek takes his time to discover Stiles’ body and grins when he hears the startled groan, knowing he’s found the right spot. He starts aiming at Stiles’ prostate relentlessly until Stiles pushes him away with a whispered ‘ stop, stop, too much ’. He switches back to slow thrusts and wraps his palm around Stiles’ hard cock that’s lying between their stomachs. Stiles’ hands reach up over his shoulders and sink into his hair as he refuses to let go of Derek’s lips and Derek can’t help the fast and hard way he’s pushing inside now. He can feel it tingling in his legs, his ass, his balls, he’s close and from the way Stiles is shuddering under him, he’s close too.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” he’s whispering against Derek’s mouth. One final hard thrust inside and he’s coming, releasing a groan and jerking Stiles’ cock until he grunts and comes between their skin. Derek is slowly pushing inside still as he comes down from the rush and Stiles pushes his sweaty hair off of his forehead.

“Fuck,” he says, eloquently, and they both laugh before doing a terrible job of cleaning up before falling asleep.

---

The next morning, Stiles drags a sleepy Derek out of bed.

“Stiles, please. I forgot to tell you I’m allergic to sunlight. Deathly allergic. Please ,” he whines from under the blanket.

Stiles pulls the blanket off the bed and whispers in Derek’s ear. “There’s coffee downstairs.”

Derek’s head lifts off the pillow. “Alright. Guess I’ll die.”

They walk down the stairs and into the kitchen where Stiles’ dad is already cooking up what better be turkey bacon.

“Morning, Dad.” 

Dad almost drops his mug with how fast he turns around, and a giant smile forms on his face. Derek stiffens behind him.

“Morning, son.” Stiles’ dad looks towards Derek. “Deputy.”

Derek makes a choking sound. “Sheriff,” he squeaks.

After Dad leaves for work and Stiles is done laughing his ass off, Derek grabs him by the shoulders. “You could’ve told me your dad was my boss .”

Okay, so it appears Stiles wasn’t done laughing. It’s a good thing Derek likes the sound of his laughter.

[flowerconcept-blog]

single dad!minhyuk

minhyuk has a 4 year old boy named jinwoo and he would Die For His Baby Boy

jinwoo is really like a miniature version of his dad, he looks just like minhyuk and is super friendly and cheerful and sweet

when the two of them are together…… it’s almost too much like you look at them and ur blinded by their sunshine smiles …. model scouts have approached them a LOT about doing commercials

even though the two of them are very happy now, jinwoo’s mom was actually cheating on minhyuk for a long time and he found out about it only a few weeks before she gave birth ;(

which really really hit him hard because he was only 20 when she got pregnant……. and he had prepared to be the best father and husband he could be, but the whole time he was scrimping and saving for their family she was with another man

he tried really hard to work it out with her so jinwoo could have a mom, but in the end she was sorta like “i don’t want a kid anyways” and left minhyuk with jinwoo…… 

even though he was heartbroken, jinwoo is by far the best thing to ever happen to him

now the two of them are a high functioning father-son team, minhyuk has a day job as  a pencil pusher but he moonlights at a dance studio as a choreographer

jinwoo is always super stylish because minhyuk dresses him! now he looks like one of those fashion instagram toddlers, and when he was a baby he wore the CUTEST onesies…. it was…. so sweet…..

one time minhyuk put jinwoo in a puppy onesie!!!!! jooheon cried…… minhyuk cried…. changkyun shed a tear but pretended it was just allergies

the walls in their little apartment are COVERED in pics of jinwoo because minhyuk takes photos when jinwoo so much as sneezes. he also has scrapbooks documenting every day of jinwoo’s childhood

entries range from “jinwoo said dad for the first time!” to “today jinwoo said uncle hyungwon looks like a frog” to “he beat changkyun at mario kart for the first time today [crying face][happy face]”

he makes kihyun take **professional** photos of jinwoo with his hq camera and once he wanted to blow up a photo and make it into a huge poster. kihyun was like i love jinwoo too, but please Chill Out

basically minhyuk is his son’s biggest fan and would do anything to make him happy, especially because he worries that he isn’t enough by himself

so when jinwoo comes home from daycare one day talking about his friend’s new cute dog and how much he wants a puppy…. there’s no way minhyuk is not taking him going to get his kid a dog. also there’s no way minhyuk is passing up an excuse to adopt a dog

after a lot of puppy research, that weekend the two of em make their way downtown to the animal shelter to see the dogs, because jinwoo insisted on adopting a shelter dog “so they can have a happy family too!” (minhyuk teared up when he said this)

and there….. as soon as they enter the shelter…… minhyuk sees you at the front desk talking to the receptionist, and he really thinks he’s seen an angel when you turn to him and smile w/ a “hello! how can we help you today?”

for once in his life minhyuk doesn’t know what to say but jinwoo immediately pipes up with a “dad and i are here to get a puppy!!!!” and your smile only widens at the cute lil boy and his equally cute dad

you work at the shelter and help people with the animals so you immediately offer to show them some of the dogs (ignoring the knowing wink from the receptionist)

once he gets over his initial speechlessness minhyuk gets right back to his normal chatty self, answering all your questions about what type of dog they’re looking for and what size……. but all the while he can’t help but gush inwardly at your smile and the way you’re interacting with his son

you show him all the dogs that fit their interests and when you gently guide jinwoo to say hello to the pups minhyuk’s all [heart eyes] !!!! at the dogs but also at you

because he’s been so busy with being a dad and working ,,,,,,,,,,,, honestly it’s been a long time since minhyuk felt interest in anyone at all ,,,,, but when he drops that it’s just him and jinwoo and he sees the relieved interest in your eyes, he decides he really doesn’t want to pass this opportunity up

back to the DOGS!!!! jinwoo falls in love with this fluffy white one year old dog named tofu, and the shelter rules are that you take the dog home for a week long “trial run” before signing any of the paperwork, so you and minhyuk organize the logistics as jinwoo plays with tofu in the background

and as you hand him the paperwork for when he next comes minhyuk goes “will you be here~~~?” and you can’t help but blush and stammer out an awkward “yes”

hoping he didn’t notice you checking him out …..the entire time you were supposed to be focusing on your job……….. (he did but was happy about it)

as they leave with tofu’s leash in hand minhyuk looks over his shoulder and WINKS at you with a toothy grin and you…… you’re genuinely surprised you didn’t faint because it really was like looking at the sun

while jinwoo runs around the apartment showing tofu all the rooms minhyuk is unpacking all the dog equipment and more importantly dreamily thinking about you!!!!!!!!! 

the week passes in a flash and tofu quickly becomes a part of the family!!!!! but minhyuk is way more concerned with working up the nerve to ask you out when he goes back to the shelter with the paperwork. he even asks his friends for advice and has to listen to kihyun rattle on for an hour about “romance”

but when he walks into the shelter w/ tofu and jinwoo and sees you sitting at the reception desk, all his nerves fade away at your grin and lil wave…. because if you say yes he has a feeling that all the worrying will be more than worth it

(he’s right)

u go through the paperwork and everything’s fine and you happily tell jinwoo that tofu’s all his (which results in a lot of excited dolphin noises and dog yaps), but just when you think you’re going to have to say goodbye to handsome lee minhyuk he clears his throat and asks if you’re free for dinner tomorrow night

needless to say, even if you were busy you would cancel your plans …… even if you had plans with the prime minister you would cancel

the next night uncle jooheon babysits jinwoo and minhyuk takes you out for movie and a dinner …. and you have a wonderful time!!!!!

you talk about animals for half of the date …. which honestly is fine because you love that he can match your passion for animals…. you talk about jinwoo and minhyuk’s work and even briefly about jinwoo’s mom, because minhyuk feels comfortable talking openly with you in a way he hasn’t for a long long long time

these cute dates and cute texting in between go on for a month or so before minhyuk finally asks you if you can be “official” and you know he’s the type to change his relationship status on facebook and put “taken” in his ig bio and everything

you come over for dinner a lot and jinwoo LOVES you which minhyuk loves, the two of you play with tofu and you tell him random animal facts to amaze him!!!!! !! ! ! ! !!

it’s very domestic but as soon as jinwoo goes to sleep, minhyuk takes you into his room and kisses you senseless  …. you truly get the best of both worlds

minhyuk buys you matching couple sweatshirts but also a mini version for jinwoo and tofu…… puts up photos of you on the wall alongside all the ones he has of his son …… cannot sleep without knowing he’s made damn sure you know he adores you and you’re the same!!!!

when you’re sad minhyuk wraps you up in his arms and kisses you all over your face until you beg him to stop being so gross, but he also listens to you sob into his shoulder and wipes away your tears and promises you that he’ll be with you no matter what

when he’s sad he has trouble telling anyone about it, but you pick up on it easily and let him be vulnerable and tell him that he doesn’t have to smile all the time and you love him whether he’s happy or sad

at monsta x family dinners changkyun makes fun of the two of you for being so corny but minhyuk just sticks his tongue out and then smooches you loudly on the lips just to watch hyungwon gag

moving in together happens so naturally you barely blink because your relationship has always been just that ,,,,,, natural and easy ,,,,,, 

the longest lasting drama the two of you ever experience is when your cat doesn’t like tofu, any other fights are over within 24 hours because one of you gets too upset at the idea of being in a fight at all and you compromise

jinwoo tells minhyuk he never wanted a second parent before but now that he has one he’s happy and minhyuk ugly cries because finally…..he has his sweet sunshine child but he also has the love of his life and he couldn’t imagine being happier or luckier

[talesfromthepayload]

It’s Not Easy...

Request: Hey! Can I request for soldier 76 x reader where the entire overwatch team goes to Italy for a holiday and Ana suggests that Jack confesses his love for her but always embarrasses himself through romantic gestures. Then one of the guys gives him a bouquet of flowers to give her but it ends up squirting water on his face and he’s like…. Sigh I just love you okay

It’d been a unanimous decision that it was time for a vacation. Tensions had been running high and exhaustion was not in short supply. Among the places that everyone had thrown out, Italy seemed to stick.

That’d been a week ago.

Now, the recalled agents of Overwatch were all unpacking and exploring the villa that would be home for the next week. It was secluded and had a beautiful view of the ocean. Jack had been among the first to finish unpacking, though he didn’t bother bringing all that many belongings to begin with. Not like D.Va, who’d brought her entire gaming setup, despite being explicitly told the ship had limited room.

“It’s nice here,” Ana commented, walking into Jack’s room announced.

He didn’t seem to care that much, taking a seat on his balcony. His room was facing the ocean, a soft breeze blowing his hair. He hummed in acknowledgement.

“You know, some would say it was even romantic,” Ana hinted, raising a brow.

She leaned back against the door, her arms crossed over her chest. She noted his room was bare, as it always seemed to be.

“Not this again,” he muttered, leaning back in his chair.

His feet rested lightly on the table, eyes narrowed as he looked out into the sunny sky.

“I’m just saying,” Ana began, nodding her head in the direction of your room a few doors down. “Now would be the perfect time.”

Jack sighed lowly, a hand running down his face. He knew being silent about his feelings would do no good, but he was a damn coward when it came to admitting his love.

“Think on it,” Ana suggested, leaving him to his own devices.

The corner of his lips turned up as he inhaled the fresh summer breeze. Maybe now was a good time. You were on vacation, after all. He wouldn’t have to worry about compromising a mission or bad timing. It would be perfect.

Fear crept in his expression. He didn’t dare to think how heartbroken he’d be if you denied his affection. Truth was, since meeting you months before the recall, Jack had been smitten. You were so caring and so reliable. He fell in love with your smile and you’re little laugh. He fell in love with the way you always made sure he was safe before worrying about yourself, or the way you made even the most mundane acts fun.

He fell in love with you.

You knocked softly on his door, his head turning so fast you briefly wondered if it’d given him whiplash.

“Uh, Jack?”

“Hey,” he said softly, gesturing for you to come on in.

“This is kind of embarrassing,” you mumbled, a sheepish smile on your face. “But did you happen to bring an extra beach towel? I forgot mine.”

He chuckled softly.

“I only brought one, but we can share,” he shrugged, noting the way your cheeks turned a brilliant pink.

He loved that about you too.

“I don’t plan on getting in the water too much,” he admitted.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you like that, Jack.”

Your gaze fell to the floor. Jack loved how shy you’d get when you got embarrassed.

“No inconvenience at all,” he promised, giving you a goofy grin.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t not smile at you. You were just so adorable and so thoughtful. He nearly sighed at how foolish he was acting.

“Okay,” you agreed hesitantly, “thank you!”

“No problem,” he breathed, his eyes watching every inch of you.

You were smiling now, one that managed to hitch his breathing, your eyes twinkling so bright. Jack couldn’t help but think he’d never seen a more beautiful sight, even with the breathtaking scenery outside.

You gave him a little wave, one he found absolutely endearing, turning to walk away. You’d made it to the door when Jack called after you.

“Oh, and (Y/N),” he said bravely.

“Yeah?” You inquired sweetly, a soft smile on your face.

Jack’s heart froze.

“Uh, never mind,” he waved you off with a little smile.

As soon as you were gone, he sighed, cursing himself for not saying anything more. Oh well, he’d tell you this week, and he was sure he’d have plenty of opportunities. 

How wrong he’d been.

His unlucky streak began a few hours after you’d asked about a towel. He’d been planning a dinner for the two of you where he could confess. Jack spent two hours preparing the meal and cooking everything to perfection. When he left to go get you, he returned to empty plates and a sheepish Reinhardt.

He’d kept his cool then, knowing that he still had more opportunities.

The next time he’d thought he could sing you a song. It’d be simple and sweet, yet still get the point across. Lucio had stumbled into the room where he’d been setting up the speaker and mistook it for a surprise dance party. Needless to say, he took complete charge, sidelining Jack.

Frustration rose, but he managed to keep it down.

Then, Jack got a little more creative. He planned an entire night out, complete with reservations. While on his way to knock on your door, dressed in a suit, Angela had run smack dab into him. She raised her plastic gun, proclaimed “water gun fight” and continued to spray him until he was completely drenched. He sighed, eyes downcast as he ran back to his room to change. Dawning a new, but no less classy, outfit, he made it back to your door, only for Hana to yell at him, saying it was a girl’s night and no guys were allowed.

He was so damn annoyed by now. He just wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

The following morning, he’d marched himself to your room, ready to just say it. He didn’t bother knocking, hoping to just get it over with before someone or something else interrupted him. Determination had blinded him apparently, as you stood before him completely naked, your eyes wide. Jack had stopped short, choking on his cough as he froze, his eyes definitely not on yours.

“Jack,” you had said, causing him to snap to his senses.

He instantly turned away, heat crawling up his neck as he stared at your door.

“Sorry, I, uh, I didn’t realize you weren’t in any, uh...”

You’d laughed a little, throwing on a towel before asking him why he’d come in. He feigned forgetting the reason and getting the hell out of there as fast as he could.

Later that evening, he’d asked you on a walk in hopes of apologizing and maybe even confessing. Once you’d both gotten past the awkwardness, he worked up the courage to tell you.

“(Y/N), I wa-”

His voice was cut off as he hit the ground, his foot getting caught between two rocks. You’d tried to free him of it, but you weren’t nearly strong enough and Jack wasn’t at the right angle to be able to try. So, he’d been forced to sit in embarrassment as you ran off in search of Reinhardt. He’d never hated nature more than in that moment.

After that, while the whole crew was having a late night get together on the beach, Jack had waved you over.

This is it, he thought.

He asked you to take a seat by the fire, him standing in front of you.

“I’ve just been meaning to say,” he began, heart pounding against his chest.

He was heating up. In fact, he would even go as far as to say he felt like he was on fire.

“Uh, Jack,” you said, your voice a little distant.

“Yeah?” He inquired, ready to spill his thoughts.

“Your shorts are on fire.”

His eyes widened as he ran around disposing of his cargo shorts. He apologized, sprinting back to his room with red cheeks and underwear to match.

The next day, he didn’t even bother trying to do anything, accepting that fate just didn’t want this for him. He’d been lying in the sun, watching you from afar as you ran around in a bikini that made his heart race, a smile never once straying from your face.

“You know,” Genji had said, taking a seat next to Jack.

Jack had side-eyed him, but didn’t comment.

“Simple is sometimes better.”

Jack sighed, nearly laughing in frustration.

“I’ve tried everything,” he bit out, patience wearing thin.

He just wanted you to know so damn badly. Any hesitations faded away, replaced with frustration.

“Try this,” Genji offered, a bouquet of roses in his hand.

Jack was about to ask where he even got it, but decided against it. Instead, he took the flowers, one side of his lips turned up.

“Thanks,” he said, though he was still a little wary.

He hid the bouquet behind his back, approaching you carefully. He avoided getting too close to the water, knowing with his luck lately, something bad would happen.

“(Y/N),” he called, pulling your attention away from Hana.

You tuned on his almost immediately, your smile growing just a little more.

“Jack!” You replied, jogging up to him.

While this wasn’t exactly how he envisioned this going, he couldn’t help but get a little excited at the prospect of you maybe returning his feelings.

“I have something for you,” he said a little shyly, pulling the flowers from behind his back.

As he did, the water that had kept them alive came splashing down onto Jack’s face, covering him. You held your giggle behind your hand, accepting his gift. He sighed, loud and long.

“I just love you, okay?” Jack admitted, silencing your laughs immediately.

Your back straightened, eyes widening as you listened to Jack.

“Apparently the universe doesn’t want me to tell you, based off these last couple of days. It’s been one disaster after another and I just really want you to kn-”

You cut him off with your lips on his, smiling into the kiss. You could feel him mimic the action, his hands tentatively coming to rest on your hips. After a moment, you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.

“I love you too, Jack,” you breathed, your fingers on his cheek.

His heart burst with happiness, all the tension of the past few days slowly fading away.

Ana watched from afar, smirking. Of course she’d been right, it only took him embarrassing himself countless times to realize it.

[fight-me-boi]

This Could Be The Start of Something Greater.

~Short character drabbles about the twenty six members of the team. Takes place at different times through out he yj!universe. For @runningwitches . Happy Holidays. There’s a little under 4700 words tucked under the read more. I’m sorry this is so late I restarted this several times and still wasn’t satisfied, and then I got sick. Anyway. Again, I’m sorry it’s late.~

B01-Nightwing

Dick loved the circus, he was taught by his mom and his aunt with his friends. John kept calling him squirt. His dad kept saying John’s attitude would keep him that height forever. The center pole was the second best place to be in the world, following the air. He was Robin. He was destined to fly.

And nothing was better than hearing the crowd’s oh’s and ah’s of the crowd as he flipped through the air and performed. Nothing beat that feeling, he was loved by his family and by the crowd. He wouldn’t give anything to change it, they weren’t rich in possession but they were rich where it mattered.

“Oh, do be careful, Robin.” Mary said loud enough for her voice to carry through the tent, she was watching her son on the trapeze with her brother in law. Dick waved down at her as John put an arm around her comfortingly.

“Come on Mary, Rich wouldn’t drop him.” John’s easy grin dropped for a second,”At least, I don’t think.”

Mary glared at him,”Don’t even joke about that Giovanni. He is little. I know you and your brother have some twisted sense of humor but if he drops our son I drop him. Understand?”

John looked nervous but nodded enthusiastically,”Yes, ma’am.”

Jack walked up beside his adopted son,”Did your wife just threaten to knock your brother out?”

“Yep,” John shot Jack a mischievous grin,” What a woman.”

“With any luck John, Dick won’t inherit Mary’s temper, or he’ll at least have your smile to hide it behind.”

Dick shot down the ladder into his dad’s arms,”Didya see? Was I good?”

John lifted his son up in front of him,”Amazing, spectacular. You might be the best out of us one day, Dick.”

Dick laughed and hugged his dad.

B02-Aqualad

Kaldur knew he was one of the best fighters in his rank, if not the best. Even his magic was weapons based. His water bearers could become sabers, a mace a sledge hammer. He was proud of the fact that he was elected leader of the team, Robin would have become a good leader but he was too young, not used to working in a group compared to working with Batman.

He was heartbroken when Tula died, and when Garth went back to Atlantis. Nightwing had barely finished his undercover mission, had barely started grieving for his brother. But Nightwing was ready to be the leader, Kaldur was going to step away but finding out that his father was Black Manta meant that he needed not just time to think but time didn’t grant him that. He decided to go undercover instead giving himself a polite amount of distance from the team but able to watch over them and see them work well under Nightwing, help the “chess pieces” move to their proper location.

B03-Kid Flash

He officially had the coolest uncle ever. Not only did he fight crime as a CSI, he was the Flash. How many people could say that. He had to be his uncle’s partner. Batman had Robin, and Green Arrow had Speedy the Flash needed a sidekick, and what better than his nephew?

What’s the worst that could happen, he was a chemistry genius, and had access to all the chemicals and his uncles meticulous notes. He could recreate the experiment and then Uncle Barry would have to take him on, he’d have super powers too.

B04-Superboy

Connor loved the farm. He could lay in the sun for hours. He couldn’t fly, but it wasn’t that great and Clark wouldn’t admit it but Connor was capable of beating him. He didn’t want to be Superman anymore, and he couldn’t be a normal guy, constantly looking 16. He only looked like Clark from a distance as well. He couldn’t be Superman.

Connor liked not having to worry about missions of helping his parents around the farm,”Pa? Anything else you’d like me to do before I head back to Happy Harbor?”

“No, just enjoy yourself and give Megan a kiss from me and your ma.”

Connor laughed,”Will do. She’ll want to stop by to cook for you guys and get some more recipes from Ma.”

“She’s always welcomed.”

B05-Miss Martian

She didn’t understand what Connor’s issue was, they were bad guys. They had made their decision to be bad and they needed the information for the mission. It didn’t matter.

Connor wasn’t going to tell she had faith in him, if they had all the information Troia would be here, Jason and Tula would be alive and Garth and Kaldur wouldn’t have left the team.

She didn’t like what she was doing but she was doing it for the betterment of the world, doing the hard work to make the defensive look in Nightwing’s eyes to disappear. She’d be willing to lose some sleep to make sure they all lived to see another day. She’d be willing to compromise her ideals to help the team, it was worth it for them.

B06-Red Arrow

Roy liked the kid, he was hilarious. The jokes were stupid but the timing was impeccable. Gotham sucked ass and he was definantly going to kill Oliver for leaving him here even if it was for a day, why did Gotham’s arsonist have to fly. Robin was sitting next to him, surrounded by smoldering debris, giggling,”Cash is going to lose his mind.”

“Why?” Roy said pulling Robin to his feet.

The police car turned the corner and a man emerged from the cop car,”Why does our arsonist have to fly?“

“Because Gotham hates you, Cash.”

“Robin, any idea where he or Batman went?”

“No, Lynns bolted and Bats went after him. Our plan kinda went up in flames.” Roy snorted as Robin was staring at Cash with a shit eating grin, and Cash looked like he’d rather be dealing with Batman himself instead of the sidekicks.

B07-Artemis

Artemis belonged on the team, she didn’t care what Roy said. He was barely even there most of the time. He did not get to say what she was capable of or what her place on the team actually was. She spent her whole life fighting, fighting Jade, her father, the bad guys before she joined the team and the new bad guys with the team and Green Arrow. She belonged on this team she earned her damn spot, she wasn’t going to let some pompous brat who wore tights and a Robin Hood hat tell her that she didn’t belong. She got enough  of that crap at school without  him weighing in.

Her Dad couldn’t be more wrong the rest  of the team liked her, who cared what Wally thought she sure as hell didn’t. He was  just mad that she apparently scared off Red Arrow but if his masculinity was so fragile that he couldn’t handle a girl taking the place of the archer on the team, he wouldn’t be able to handle being a hero. She couldn’t understand what her sister saw in Roy he was a stubborn hardass, but then again Jade was most likely certifiable.

The team didn’t care who she was related to in the long term. Right?

B08-Zatanna

Zatanna missed her father, there was no other way of putting it. She wanted her dad back. There was that British Warlock that she met while traveling that said there might have been a way to get the Helmet of Fate. She didn’t give up on saving him when she found out what removing the helmet from her father would entail, she just accepted that maybe she couldn’t. Constantine was right most of the time but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

She didn’t know why Dick wanted to stay with the team even though they were all offered spots on the Justice League. But then again people rarely knew what ran through a Bat’s brain. She decided to join the league because she didn’t want to operate from the shadows forever, she wanted to be able to help more people then she could on the team. She’d always have a soft spot for the team and would be willing to help in whatever manner they needed. But a physical glamour charm was a strange request who wore a mask or sunglasses so much she almost forgot that he had blue eyes.

B09-Rocket

Amistad loved Lian, he was a little upset that he was no longer the baby, but he took to being Lian’s “big brother” quite well.

He was often seen trying to make Lian smile, or trying to be helpful around the Watchtower. He was only three years old and kept trying to help Batman fix the tech around the tower. The team adored the unofficial team mascots and protected them.

Hell their babysitter was basically a guarantee that Deathstroke wouldn’t mess with them unless he was hired to and even then Jericho has some stories about what happens if you messed with someone under Deathstroke’s protection.

B10-Tempest

He couldn’t be there anymore, he had to leave. Nightwing And Troia left after Robin died. He got to leave, he needed to go back to Atlantis on find himself again away from the team, away from the surface. Away from everyone, even King Orin and Queen Mera.

The woman he loved died, sacrificed herself to save the world. He got to be angry about that, because if he wasn’t where would he be? Like Nightwing who went disappeared for a year and then never got closer because he’d come back and Robin had been replaced? Troia who ran back to Themyscira after Jason died and wasn’t coming back? He was going to rejoin the team, he just needed a little time to himself and that wasn’t such a bad thing.

B11-Aquagirl

Tula understood why Kaldur loved the surface world and the people who dwelled on it, they were resilient and capable of so much on their own. Curious as well. The little Robin would stare when she, Garth and Kaldur would use their water magic, utterly fascinated with how it worked.

Tula never regretted joining the team, learning about the world, the culture, the different types of magic. She was the most talented in that aspect out of the three of them and studying surface world magic helped grow her abilities.

Queen Mera was often adamant that all stories of the gods had grains of truth within them and you had to be able to divine the truth from fiction, from hyperbole. This story about the alien Tiamat and the Babylonian demigod Marduk was interesting but it felt like something was missing, the fact that Marduk was introduced to the pantheon of gods posthumously promoted more research. She would ask John Constantine or the Lord of Order, Nabu, about it.

B12-Troia

Troia couldn’t handle being on the team after Robin died. Before then it felt like a game, in the back of her mind she knew it wasn’t but after seeing Jason’s body the gravity of what they did, what they were doing became much more real and all she wanted to do was go home to her mom. She loved Jason as if he was her own flesh and blood, she was his big sister and Dick was her best friend. She felt awful about leaving him but she couldn’t work above a memorial to her baby, she knew Dick understood when he left as well.

When she returned to Themyscira she practically threw herself back into her mother’s arms crying about him. Diana talked about humans being good and just. Where was the goodness in that? The justness? The man that killed him could barely be called a man. Jason was a child, he didn’t deserve that.

B13-Robin II

Jason hated the pitying and distrustful looks from the league and the team. They weren’t from Gotham, none of them have been the little guy, no one had know what he’d seen. Batman didn’t live in Gotham he spent the day in his mansion, Superman was a pompous goody two shoes from Kansas, he wouldn’t know how to Gotham. Crime Alley, Jason did. He stole the wheels of the Batmobile. He survived Crime Alley by himself for years before Bruce came along, he just had his wits, no armour, no training from around the world, no tech, just him. Jason did just fine without anyone. He didn’t need the team, or Nightwing, or Batman, you can’t count on anybody.

“Jason, you can do better. Dick does this easily. He doesn’t need to hit as hard.” Bruce said watching Jason hit the mannequin hard enough to snap bone.

“I’m not him, Okay!” Jason said snapped at Bruce,”I’ve done pretty well by myself, I sure as hell don’t need you to tell me what I am doing wrong.”

Jason stormed out of the Batcave and hunkered down against the wind, it was a long walk back to Gotham. He couldn’t be there anymore, the manor wasn’t his home.

B14-Lieutenant Marvel

It was odd being able to walk again. Especially knowing the cost, his grandfather comatose, and him a superhero. He got along well with Billy, the guy was his best friend but god was this stressful.

He didn’t want to worry about coming home alive every time he went on a mission maybe Billy thought he was indestructible and that was well and good but Freddy has had his back broken and been helpless and he doesn’t want to go back to that ever.

B15-Sergeant Marvel

She didn’t get why Billy liked this, it was dangerous and scary and she didn’t like the fact that there was the chance that one of them wouldn’t come home. She was 13 she couldn’t handle the responsibility of the team on her shoulders.

She hated abandoning the team but she wanted to come back when she was older, more responsible, more capable of losing someone. According to the young Robin, he was her age, how cool was that? Anyway she was getting side tracked, he said that losing people didn’t get easier. It didn’t matter if you were 7 and it was your mom or if you were an adult and lost your friend. Losing people sucked and Mary wasn’t prepared for that.

B16-Batgirl

Barbara knew that her dad didn’t necessarily approve of her being on the team, but after realizing grounding her wasn’t going to work, he decided that Batman did a nice job of protecting her since she started. He still thought that dating Dick was the dumbest thing she could do, but he wasn’t home half the time and she was an adult.

She was still mad at Dick for lying to her about Artemis, about Kaldur. What she didn’t expect was for Dick to drunk dial her secure line from his phone and explain everything. That he was going to go back undercover, fake his death let Azrael be Batman for a bit, help Kaldur, keep Artemis and Wally out of it. She was supposed to be his contact. Artemis decided to go after knocking some sense into him.

”She, she said it’d be less painful. We couldn’t lose another-” Dick already sounded near tears as his breath hitched but his voice now made Barbara’s heart clench,”Jason. We couldn’t lose a bat. She’d retired it wouldn’t be as painful for the new members, and Tim he’d be alone. No Robins.”

His voice sounded like cracking ice,”You should delete my number. I understand if you never want to see me again.”

Barbara didn’t delete his number but stopped by his apartment and unlocked the door, coughing reflexively from the dust that had gathered over the 6 months that he was Batman, Nightwing and team leader. She didn’t stay very long but rearranged his photos so the photo of Catherine was no longer next to the Graysons but next to Jason like she was looking at him, the photo of her and her dad was switched with the photo of a blonde boy with a mass of curly hair and an Asian girl with silver hair with their arms around Dick smiling.

B17-Bumblebee

One of her best friends was superhero. That was so cool. And she got offered an internship under Dr. Raymond Palmer! The Atom! She would get to be a superhero and study under one of the best minds in molecular physics. She was so excited. She couldn’t wait. But for a superhero uniform, like that Nightwing guy said, go with your gut. It’s usually right.

Bumblebee wasn’t a bad idea, she’d been playing with the idea since Dr. Palmer offered to teach her. Wings, the independent mobility would help when she was smaller. The energy pulses or “stingers” could be used offensively and being able to shrink would help with espionage like the team was meant to do.

B18-Lagoon Boy

La'gaan didn’t know how to feel on the team, he was the only Atlantean on the team. Kaldur left, he was a regular fish out of water. He needed to prove himself. Show them that he was better than Kaldur, not a replacement. Especially Miss Martian. She was really pretty, and had a nice laugh.

The more time La’gaan spent on the surface world the more he felt out of place. He couldn’t spend time with the team without hiding how he looked he didn’t blend in as easily as Kaldur did or was able to shapeshift like Miss Martian or Garfield could. He just was there, and it was trying hard to find his place on his team besides just the water guy.

B19-Beast Boy

M’gann was really upset about something and she wasn’t talking to him about it. Maybe it was something to do with getting kidnapped by Deathstroke and he was a lot scarier than Sportsmaster. La'gaan said he was a lot faster than Sportsmaster and stronger too. When M’gann got kidnapped and La’gaan broke his leg. Lagaan said that Deathstroke said something more chilling then Sportsmaster ever could,”Now I hate to see any poor animal in pain, but you aren’t on the Light’s list. How about a little anesthetic for the pain?”

Nightwing, Dick, said he was lucky to be alive and to just have a broken leg with a few bruises. La’gaan kept arguing with Nightwing about going to save M’gann, while Nightwing remained adamant about doing things his way, Gar couldn’t help but to agree with La’gaan, that was his sister, and he needed to get her back safely.

B20-Robin III

Nightwing and Robin were gone, Jason died. Tim knew that much, it was all over the news. Bruce Wayne’s ward Jason Todd murdered in Ethiopia by the Joker. Nightwing stopped patrol with Batman after that and Dick stopped going outside, stopped being seen around Gotham altogether. People at Gotham Academy said that he had a mental breakdown or tried to kill himself. Tim knew better, knew that Nightwing, Dick, left for a reason he wouldn’t just abandon Batman.

So Tim waited for months but he watched as Batman began to deteriorate. Read the stories about the criminals begging to be takening straight to Blackgate just don’t let Batman get at them. Then Tim had to act, Batman was going to kill someone or get himself killed. So Tim broke into the batcave, and offered to make himself Robin, he was denied. Then he followed Batman in a homemade Robin costume, telling Batman he needed a Robin and Tim was willing to fill that role for the time being, just until Nightwing came back.

B21-Wonder Girl

She was on the team! How cool was that! Nightwing was her boss, and he was so nice. A little sad and guilty but really nice. Anyway, back to the real point, she was related to Wonder woman, not like cousins or her mom married Wonder Woman’s brother or something. Her dad was Zeus, making her Wonder Woman’s little sister.

Kiran was going to be so jealous when she heard about it. She got to fight bad guys while her mother explored ruins. She met Superman. This is officially the best day ever. And Batgirl. The Batgirl, the only way this could get any better is if she met Robin. The first sidekick, the best one in her opinion.

B22-Blue Beetle III

Jaime thought the team was so cool, real live super heroes to help him use his powers. He was a little disappointed that he didn’t have someone familiar with the scarab like the previous Blue Beetle.

Everyone on the team was really nice but it felt like the senior members where hiding something. Besides the whole secret identity thing. Khaji Da said that you could tell what people were hiding by cold reading them but to Jaime that seemed like a bigger invasion of privacy then having an annoying bug trapped to your spine. “Jaime Reyes, our partnership can be seen as symbiotic.”

“Yes, because I have an annoying little voice second guessing my every move.”

“I do not second guess, I analyze and offer alternative courses of action. Take another look at the Red Arrow and the Nightwing. They seem to be arguing something.”

Nightwing seemed to be switching apathy and frustration, Red Arrow seemed to be concerned and had Nightwing sort of boxed in, he wasn't touching the younger vigilante but he wasn’t letting him escape either. Nightwing eventually pushed Red Arrow away from him, and Jaime caught the last part of the conversation,”I feel bad because of what I did not who it was done too. Batman should have left it alone, it’s my guilty conscience not his.”

B23-Impulse/Kid Flash II

It was terrible, the future, having to scavenge for parts, for food. One of the reasons he talked so much was because the two men that he worked with bordered nonverbal. The blonde was mute due to the large scar that crossed his throat, the one who wore a helmet would speak but hated to show his face so he wore a mask of poly-carbonate. They were built by the Hood when he saw that Bart was having trouble using his speed, so he based them off Kid Flash’s old lenses. Bart was going to go back to the past before the Reach invaded to prevent this future, his grandfather dying started this whole mess. If he saved Barry Allen he saved the world. Neutron was the chronal expert in the operation. The Hood was the engineer and tactician. The mute guy was the best scavenger and could find out any information you wanted, no one knew how or wanted to know how.

Hood looked up from the meal he scavenged for Bart,”You sure about this, kid? If what Nathaniel says is true. You won’t be coming back. If you are successful this time line will cease.”

The mute came back carrying the pieces of what’s going to be the time machine’s energy source, and looked at Bart expectantly,”I’m fine with it. This really isn’t a future worth coming back to.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” Hood let out a hysterical laugh,”Hey, Jericho you got some blood on your collar.”

The mute made some motions with his hands, the Hood’s tone was mocking,”Oh, it’s not yours. That’s reassuring. Well it was a pleasure working with ya.”

Jericho motioned to Hood, his version of agreeing, Bart shook their hands,”May we meet again in the past. In the future and the life after that.”

B24-Guardian

Mal finally understood what Nightwing meant. The rush, the feeling of adrenaline coursing through your veins, the feeling that you were doing good. It was addicting.

When he first joined the team he wasn’t wearing the Guardian helm, he helped Nightwing run missions and coordinate communications between the team members. Finding out that the guy with the big blue bird on his chest was the first Robin, the first sidekick. The reason there was a team.

If it wasn’t for him who knew what would have happened, the team might not have existed. Connor might not have come to Rhode Island, he wouldn’t know about M’gann. He may not have been still together with Karen.

Mal didn’t have many regrets since he met Connor and M’gann but one of them was not picking up a suit sooner.

B25-Arsenal

The audacity of Nightwing to kick him off the team after he rescued everybody. He's just so infuriating, he belonged on that team his clone was placed n that team. He earned his spot, more than the rogue Blue Beetle did, or the time traveler impulse. Where did Nightwing get the authority of telling him what to do? He was just one of Batman’s apprentices. Hell Robin had been in the game longer then he had, and yet there he was differing to him, like NIghtwing was the alpha dog.

“I can’t believe him.” Arsenal said storming into Red arrow’s apartment.

“Can’t believe who?” Red Arrow looked up from holding Lian in a Nightwing onesie, Arsenal could not escape the guy. What made him so great anyway?

“Nightwing, he kicked me off the team.”

Red Arrow sighed,”What happened?”

“Blue Beetle turned on us so I opened the airlock, and he started to take us out. Superboy provided a distraction so I could escape.” Arsenal sat down on the couch as Red shifted Lian so she was laying on his chest,”What’s his deal anyway? He seems to have it out for me after we went to Smallville.”

Roy pursed his lips,”Was Robin in any danger on the Warworld? In Smallville?”

“No, I had it under control.” Arsenal said crossing his arm.

Roy rolled his eyes at the moody teenager on his couch, he knew why Nightwing kicked him off the team. He didn’t want to get Tim killed like Jason, even though the only person you could blame for Jason’s death was the Joker, ”Nightwing’s brother died. He blames himself. He doesn’t let Robin be put in danger and when he is, he’ll remove that threat or protect Robin anyway possible.”

“Robin’s been around for 10 years, he can handle himself. Nightwing doesn't need to interfere.”

“Nightwing’s nineteen and buried his brother before he could vote, hell the Robin you know is the third one. Nightwing was the first. Part of him will always be that scared little kid, he didn’t mean any harm by it. He's trying to protect his family.”

“I didn’t know.” Arsenal said, feeling a little sorry.

“Most people don’t. They think there were only two, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s easier for Nightwing not to mention the second one. He’ll come around just let him mellow out.”

B26-Static

Virgil joined the team because what else would he do with his powers. Black Lightning offered to train him and he was excited about that. This team was full of skilled people who would have his back at the expense of him having theirs.

He liked the team, sure he was a little bristly toward Nightwing after he fired Arsenal but he hung out with the older vigilante and he was always willing to give advice or training, and Arsenal said he was Robin, the first Robin. How cool was that?

“Hey Nightwing?” Nightwing looked up from his tablet and Nightwing did not look thrilled at what was going on on the screen,”Oh am I bugging you?”

“Nah just discussing how to best piss off an assassin, what’s up?” Nightwing said turning the tablet off.

“You think you could teach me how to fight?” Virgil saw how Nightwing fought he had a lot of skills, and if he was Robin he was used to fighting people bigger and more dangerous than him.

“Of course, lesson 1. There is no dirty tricks.” Nightwing stood up and stretched,”Lesson 2 and Robin taught me this, if someone is bigger than you hit fast. You hit hard. Then run as far away as you can.”

“Wait, Robin who’s dating Cassie?”

Nightwing’s easygoing grin faltered, but then he shrugged,”Could have been Troia, black hair pain in my side. Who knows?”

[thedeevirus]

What I Would Change in Gotham: Season 3

Here it is: the first draft of things I would change about ‘Gotham Season 3’. I will probably add to it, these are just some of the more obvious plot points I thought could be resolved. Let me know what you all think. Obviously this is just my personal opinion. Fair warning: this is a looong post and not definitive (yet LOL)

Episode 11: ‘Beware the Green Eyed Monster’

When Barbara tells Ed Oswald killed Isabella, he DOES NOT believe her. Babs has no proof of this and Ed has just chopped off Tabby’s hand which gives her every reason to lie. Ed does, however, still manipulate Oswald into revealing his feelings for him. Ed is stunned by Oswald’s confession and leaves to get things right in his head: he is still grieving for Isabella and doesn’t know how he feels about romance right now. One thing he does know for sure though is that he is angry at Barbara for trying to ruin his and Oswald’s friendship. As such he pretends to team up with the trio to sow discord amongst them and protect Oswald from any real harm. He is also convinced that the trio still had something to do with Isabella’s death, especially now having seen Barbara’s hunger for power. This also explains the odd line of ‘You’re my best friend too Oswald, remember that’.

Episode 12: ‘Ghosts’

Ed still sacrifices the deputy chief of staff as in his view this is the function of pawns: to protect a king you have to sacrifice them. Ed also returns Elijah safely to his grave and not to the dumpster of a Chinese restaurant. Ed is also confident that Oswald can bounce back from one bad TV interview, after all it’ll take more than that to topple him from such a high position of popularity.

Episode 14: ‘The Gentle Art of Making Enemies’

The trio are watching the confrontation at the warehouse between Ed and Oswald via security cameras. As such Ed keeps up the charade when Oswald arrives to ‘rescue him’. However, Oswald angrily confesses he DID kill Isabella to Ed’s shock and grief. Heartbroken at this betrayal, Ed walks away without untying Oswald from the car. The barrel eventually tips and it turns out the barrel is full of nothing but water. The sizzling was caused by Ed placing a dollop of a chemical on the car hood that reacts that way when the water hits it. The security guard then arrives and unties Oswald. Ed has arranged this, deciding to team up with the trio for real, now knowing that Oswald really did betray him.

Episode 15: ‘How the Riddler Got His Name’

Kathryn recruits Jim Gordon personally into the Court of Owls, introducing herself as a friend of his father’s by meeting him at the graveyard. We cut Uncle Frank completely. She says her group was impressed by how Gordon restored order to Gotham following the blackout and want him as an ally.

Episode 16: ‘These Delicate and Dark Obsessions’

Oswald says he can’t take Nygma and the others on all by himself. Ivy says he doesn’t have to: he has her. Oswald thanks her but doesn’t see how a pair of freaks are going to take on a city full of mobsters without any weapons. Ivy says they also have this and holds up her perfume bottle. Oswald smiles, realising the possibilities.

Bruce is not taken outside Gotham for his indoctrination: the mountains, etc are all revealed to be an intricate illusion and he has actually been underground in Gotham the whole time.

Episode 17: ‘The Primal Riddle’

Oswald does not recruit Firefly and Fries. The reason for this is that they don’t actually do anything much until they show up with Fish and the ‘recruitment’ episode was very unclear about where exactly Fries was and how they found him and Firefly, got Fries’ gun, etc. So let’s just cut all those plotholes and just introduce them both already working with Fish when she shows up later.

Babs is starting to feel the pressure of running Gotham: by removing Penguin, she has inadvertently created a power vacuum with many different gangs jostling for control. This has been made worse by her and Tabitha killing the heads of the families in Episode 13 as well as Barbara’s itchy trigger finger and lack of experience/unwillingness to compromise. Butch says Nygma engineered the situation that way on purpose to keep the trio distracted from killing him: ‘Plan B’ should never have been a plan in the first place but Nygma knew Babs and Tabs would go for it due to their love of bloodshed. Tabitha thinks he has a point but Barbara won’t listen: she’s too busy wondering about the court of owls and needs Nygma’s help to figure them out.

Episode 18: ‘Light the Wick’

Since we cut Uncle Frank we don’t have the issue of Lee thinking Gordon is up to something and as such we don’t need to worry about why the GCPD don’t tell her (a trusted ally despite her problems with Jim) anything about their plan to infiltrate the court creating further plot problems that could’ve been resolved with a simple conversation.

Instead of using Firefly as an arbitrary threat, Oswald threatens Gordon with Ivy’s perfume but says he doesn’t want to be forced to use it as ‘they’re friends’. He convinces Gordon the perfume’s real by making him stand on one leg or something equally petty but uses a miniscule dose that wears off almost immediately.

Episode 19: ‘All Will Be Judged’

While Ed and Oz escape the court, the truth about Isabella is revealed when they enter a research lab and discover a series of audio recordings and notes in Isabella’s handwriting.

Isabella was created by Strange a ‘therapy’ for Edward while in Arkham. She was one of the Court’s first cloning attempts as well as a method to test their indoctrination methods. The idea was that she would be introduced to a ‘low level’ prisoner (Ed) in a controlled environment to test his reaction. If successful, he would fall in love with her then lose her again, this time to a mysterious illness (her own short engineered lifespan) rather than as the result of a vicious murder. To compensate for the violent history between Ed and Isabella’s original tissue donor, Strange deliberately used doomed love stories as the basis for her personality as well as investing her with a vast array of esoteric knowledge and trivia as well as a penchant for riddles. This was prep work for what the Court will eventually try with Bruce. However, this plan was foiled when Fish hijacked the bus. Isabella escaped with one goal in mind: find Edward and be with him. She saw him on TV with the mayor and soon engineered a one on one meeting with him while buying wine. The Court decided to leave her where she was believing she could prove useful should Oswald step out of line.

Oswald sees this find as validation that his instincts about Isabella were true but Ed, feeling humiliated and angry, snaps that this changes nothing. Oswald didn’t know Isabella had been sent by the court when he killed her and he still lied to Ed’s face for his own selfish interest. He threw away their friendship like it meant nothing! Oswald is startled by the sadness in Ed’s voice but both of them are still too angry at each other to extend an olive branch.

Kathryn is the one to inject Lee with the virus. Her name was the one Gordon wrote in the book back in Court HQ and Kathryn wants revenge for Gordon’s betrayal. She was always wary Gordon would betray them and as such already has a plan in place for vengeance. Kathryn has Barnes knock Lee out when he invades the GCPD and inject her (a plan Barnes agrees with as he wants Lee to be ‘freed’ like he was) before leaving her otherwise unharmed. This way we get all the fun of evil Lee without the out of character decision to inject herself purely based on the reasoning of a certified delusional psychopath like Jervis Tetch.  

Enjoying so far? Drop me an ask if you want me to fix something in particular! 😉