#loved joining the ones for The Eclipse back in 22

[lurkingteapot]

listening back to the space Ohm opened on the site formerly known as twitter after last week's ep and. please, boys, I love you, but there's only so many times I can hear the same two lines of a song warbled within 20 minutes.

[coffeegnomee]

Wrote this after Flame tried to get his fight the first time but before the whole spawn destroying thing went down.  (I was vodwatching so I paused to contemplate devotions.) And then everything exploded and I never posted it. 

Mapicc, all session, was SO happy whenever Zam mentioned he would fight. He reminded me so much of that one character in an action movie that just Loves the battlefield, loves fighting, loves the thrill of testing your skill, goes around swinging his sword, big smile on his face, just waiting to go out and fight those enemies. 

He embodies everything that is Good about fighting. And none of the evil. None of the evil that princezam is so afraid of. None of the bloodlust, none of the blowing up builds, none of the being unable to stop. 

Mapicc has his evil tendencies, for sure, but when you take everything away, he just wants his friend back so they can have fun together. Every season. Castle arc, eclipse, taking zam back for the wormhole without hesitation. Getting zam on the abyss, (getting him back to streaming with the chat poll), counting it a betrayal when zam gave his blessing to minute. 

All through season 5 mapicc had so much more confidence when Zam was by his side. Every fight they took with Minute and Jumper, Mapicc was wildly positive about EVEN when they had half an inventory and two stacks of xp. He never once considered how much they could be out geared. Zam gave him the confidence. 

He’s the complete opposite of everything Zam is afraid of. Everything he’s hiding behind to cling to the pacifism. That’s why he’s always capable of getting Zam to fight with him in previous seasons. Zam is lulled in by the friendship and the joy of the fight. Mapicc got Zam to fight on his side during the Pagi/Red v Clown fight and on the 100k yt stream, and, jumping ahead, during eclipse he got Zam to lay down the castle arc beef and fight on his side against Pangi in the crown battle, and embraced him back when zam joined wormhole.

Which is another thing, Zam has this beautiful need to always balance fights. He will throw away all his lore just to make sure both sides have enough players to make it even. That’s lowkey why he joined the wormhole too, not the only reason by far, but it was a contributing factor. 

And then on that Saturday, realizing Flame needed more people to even the fight out, he was willing to fight. He almost did it. His “I wouldn’t hit him” after when he was reflecting on what his did to chat was equal parts “I planned not to hit him” and “I wouldn't have hit him, right?” 

And to follow it up with “main goal [of pacifism] is to just work in the server’s best interests [...] Despite it normally being the wrong answer, violence was kind of the answer to fixing that problem there” (~2:13:00) 

Is such a large shift from his earlier main goal of limiting himself, and then the 8/22/24 stream where he started doubting himself and “I did it so that I could, I dunno, just avoid repeating prior mistakes.” (~48:00)

And Mapicc is right there to support that claim. Violence was the answer, it was the fun thing, it was the video idea, the event. It was positive. Good. And Mapicc was sooooo excited. I wrote down that Mapicc came over while Zam was messaging Pangi to get back on and said  “Zaaaaaam” in a ‘lets fucking win this basketball game’ type voice.  (~1:57:00) 

Because pvp can be so much closer to a sport than to being a psychotic maniac. 

[cosmiccannibalcamille]

YOUR September Horoscope

Somehow we’ve found ourselves in month nine of 2024, celebrating the 9th new moon of the year. That’s right, it is officially September. How we got from January to now, I’ll never know, but what I do know is that this month has its fair share of planetary transits. And there is at least one planetary transit that is guaranteed to shake up your world even more than the realization that summer is nearly o-v-e-r. 

     No, it’s not Uranus retrograde, which kicks off the month. It’s not even the Virgo new moon on Sept. 2 (aka today) or eclipse season, which starts Sept. 17. It’s Pluto retrograde in Capricorn. That’s right, the outer planets—Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, and now Pluto—are all in retrograde motion, meaning the universe is hitting rewind on some unresolved issues. If you thought you had tied up loose ends, think again. This month is all about revisiting the past, making necessary tweaks, and maybe even giving the cosmic middle finger to anything that’s holding you back. 

     These retrogrades have already impacted me! My book release for Jupiter Returns has been pushed back a few days, but it is very nearly finished and I CANNOT be more excited. (Seriously, as we’ve finalizing edits and formatting for the novel, I’ve just fallen more in love with it. It’s hilarious! It’s heartfelt! And it’s soooo much fun!! I’ll be posting another chapter of the novel THIS WEEK). Anyway, that’s the general gist of September. Here’s the actual astrology:

Sept. 1 - Uranus stations retrograde, 27°

Sept. 1 - Pluto Rx re-enters Capricorn, 29°

Sept. 2 - Virgo New Moon, 11°

Sept. 4 - Mars enters Cancer

Sept. 9 - Mercury enters Virgo

Sept. 17 – Eclipse season begins with Lunar Eclipse in Pisces, 25°

Sept. 22 - Sun enters Libra

Sept. 22 - Venus enters Scorpio

Sept. 26 - Mercury enters Libra

     As you can see, I have not gone into great, GREAT detail about each and every planetary transit happening this month; I save such things for the weekly forecast. However, because this month essentially starts on a new week, I’ll go into those details as I explore the major astrology in the works. That said, let’s dive in, shall we?

Sept. 1 - Pluto & Uranus Rx

     On September 1st, Uranus joins the retrograde parade, staying in reverse until January 2025. This pulls focus to the Taurus part of your chart, and all the ways you are still yearning to either shake things up, wake things up, or rebel against the status quo and do things differently. Also happening on Sept. 1, Pluto re-enters Capricorn for one final hurrah before it takes up permanent residence in Aquarius on November 19th.

     Pluto’s last lap in the 29th degree of Capricorn is like a final exam on the lessons of stability, power, and transformation. The 29th degree is a fame degree, a critical degree, and an anaretic degree. You might be reckoning with something BIG. (Your horoscope for Anaretic Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn drops this Friday!)

     Expect some pushback this month, especially when it comes to transformation. The status quo isn’t going down without a fight, so brace yourself for some serious resistance—whether in your personal life or the world at large. But remember, this is the turning point. Are you ready to step into the new world, or are you clinging to the past like a millennial with a flip phone?

Sept. 2 - Virgo New Moon

     Feeling a little sluggish? You’re not alone. The New Moon in Virgo on Sept. 2 is all about getting your life in order, but with Mars in Gemini squaring Neptune Rx in Pisces, it might feel like you’re trying to organize a sock drawer while underwater. The vibe is sober, maybe even a bit blah, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself—physically and mentally. It’s all about balanced living right now, so eat your veggies and keep your energy levels in check. You’ll thank yourself later. Get YOUR Virgo New Moon horoscope here. 

Sept. 7 - 14 - Mid-Month Musings

     September 7th to 9th is when things start to get interesting. Mercury in Leo squares Uranus in Taurus, and the Sun in Virgo opposes Saturn in Pisces. Translation: your curiosity is piqued, and you’ve got the discipline to tackle those big, overwhelming tasks you’ve been avoiding. New solutions might come out of nowhere—be open to them. By the 9th, Mercury slips into Virgo, urging you to methodically sort through whatever insights you’ve just stumbled upon.

     By September 12th, the Sun squares Jupiter, and Venus trines it on Sept. 14. This is your cosmic green light to finally tackle those projects you’ve been neglecting. Want to bring some beauty and harmony into your daily grind? Now’s the time. Just don’t go overboard with the indulgences—Jupiter can be a bit of a glutton.

Get the FULL SCOOP on the astrology of September (including your HOROSCOPE) on The Cosmic Almanac

[void-chara]

Timestamps for events in the Baconnwaffles0 "How to beat Gods" stream on 3/29

This is not comprehensive of all events in the Baconnwaffles0 stream, however if you missed it, or are trying to rewatch specific events, it is a good place to begin figuring out which parts of the vod to check. Hope it helps!

The first event of the stream is a meeting comprised of Roshambo, Mapic, Baconwaffles, Planetlord, Jaron, and Zam. Various players hang out in call for a while. All of them are in call 18 minutes into the stream, and the actual meeting starts 27 minutes into the stream.

47 minutes into the stream, while they are still in the meeting, Spoke begins messing with them ingame. Spoke joins their call 51 minutes into the stream.

spoke leaves call about 1:06-7 mins in. Mapic and Ro leave at 1:12

Bacon, Jaron, Planet, and Zam continue to plan.

1:22 Mapic whispers to Bacon: Me and ro would love to help but were not getting banned for no reason, if you can convince us this wiull work than u have a deal

THE SECRET. the real reason Zam left eclipse(The End was a cover-up) The reason Solar Union thinks they have hope. In my opinion, one of the most important parts of the stream.

They first discuss revealing the secret at 1:25. They start heading over to the location at 1:29. They arrive and begin telling the story at 1:35.

1:38 Jaron makes a mistake and alerts spoke to their location

1:51 Spoke is approaching their location, his outer layer is visible now.

1:52 Spoke appears on screen, and joins the call. he is here to be silly and spread misinformation

Vitalasy joins the game at 2:04. He talks through ingame chat for a bit, before they call him at 2:05.

The call is now Bacon, Jaron, Planet, Zam, Spoke, and Vitalasy.

Vitalasy arrives at spawn fully godmode at 2:09

at 2:10 vitalasy menacingly approaches zam and zam is Afraid. after several long second of vitalasy slowly walking towards zam and zam slowly backing away, vitalasy pops zams totem in a single punch. vitalasy throws zam some totems and experience bottles. he is soooo calm right now.

2:11 Spoke uses one of the death potions to teleport vitalasy away! also mapic is back in call.

2:12/13 vitalasy is back!

2:14 ro is back in call

2:15 new call just bacon vitalasy zam planet and jaron. discusion time!

Vitalasy leaves at 3:03

bacon ends very soon after.

[takatsuki-division]

“I’m the DJ I get the party started”

Aiko Mayeda timeline

(Cw: Assault mentions of various forms)

Age 0: Born to Kyomi and Ryuji Mayeda

Age 6: Mother gives birth to Kirumi

Age 7: Many fights ensue- eventually his mother storms out of the house and his father begins to drink heavily.

Aiko is forced to take care of his younger sister and cover up for his father.

Aiko ends up in the hospital for a few days after he raised a hand to his father to defend himself. Age 8: Develops an interest in music after speaking with his music teacher he’s eventually given one as a gift.

Age 9: Defends a girl from bullying and splits another boys lip. Both him and the boy are in trouble for fighting.

On his way home he’s attacked by the boys older brother however he’s saved by a random passerby

Age 10: His school attendance is lacking due to him not getting enough sleep and trying to make sure his little sister is doing ok.

Age 12: Befriends Yuki Sakura and Ryoko Minamoto

Age 14: Suspended for vandalism of school property and aggression when caught

Age 16: Walks in on a teacher trying to assault Kirumi while ditching class

Ends up beating him hard enough to break the man’s jaw and nose.

Hes shipped off to military school after this

Age 17: Befriends a boy named Miki who also plays guitar

He’s introduced to the idea of using turntables to make music and only takes it up to look cool in front of Miki but grows to love it

Age 18: He and Miki enlist in the Navy together

The two decide that their going to start a DJ unit together once they finish service

Age 20: Keeps in regular contact with Yukiko Sakura

The two are in a semi casual relationship at this point

Age 22: He finds out Yukiko has entered the porn industry at this point but doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest

Age 23: Aiko, Miki and several other people are stranded on an island after a mission gone wrong.

Miki is murdered due to internal group conflict- Aiko is shot in the chest but ultimately spared due to him being deemed useful to the group

He swears never to work with anyone else in his music

Age 24: Forced to leave the navy

Begins working as a DJ for various night clubs across Japan- however he keeps getting fired for his foul attitude and “lack of passion in his music”

Age 25:Moves back to Takasuki to live with his sister

Begins to take his relationship with Yukiko seriously

Age 26: Finds work as a bouncer in a nightclub called “Club Nova”

Meets the owner and eventually befriends her

Age 27: After the owner discovers his musical talents she pressures him into becoming the dj for the club

Joins Shattered moon after this time.

Age 28: Gets engaged to Yukiko Sakura

Walks his sister down the aisle at her wedding in place of their father

Age 29 (Present)- After the death of Ryoko hes forced to take on the role of leader due to…private reasons

Changes the group name to Fractured Eclipse

Schedule

12 pm- Wake up

1pm-2pm: Make food and eat food

2pm-6pm: Even Yukiko doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing he kinda just exists

6pm-10pm: Go to work, do pre show checks

10pm-5am: Work

6am:Eat small breakfast sandwich and go to bed

Character hashtags

#Nova DJ

#I love my fiancé

#Late night beat

Trauma Hashtags

#It should have been me

#I’ll always play alone

#I wish I was dead

Other

Hobbies: Music

Drinks: No

Smokes:Occasionally

Greatest strength: “i consider myself a good listener”

Greatest weakness: Anger issues

Twitter handle: DJOVERDRIVE

Intro quote: “The names Aiko Mayeda- Novas top DJ”

Trauma quote: “C-Cmon Miki…don’t leave me man…I can’t do this without you”

[bengiyo]

I posted 17,666 times in 2022

That's 14,011 more posts than 2021!

378 posts created (2%)

17,288 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@callipigio

@kandrakelsier

@benkaaoi

@negrowhat

@xagan

I tagged 7,657 of my posts in 2022

#bad buddy - 573 posts

#kinnporsche - 480 posts

#the eclipse series - 439 posts

#not me the series - 302 posts

#love in the air - 290 posts

#star trek - 251 posts

#sarge watches - 228 posts

#bl series - 177 posts

#our flag means death - 172 posts

#thai bl - 164 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i just don't think you should be surprised when someone falls for you when you shove something into their mouth to show you care about them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Big Dragon Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

When we last left the Shitty Boys, they were at a pool party with heavy pours, and I questioned the decision to allow so much glass near a pool. For the first time in a while, we reflected on the potential physical realities of overaggressive anal intercourse, and I lamented that BL rarely explores m/m intimacy beyond penetrative sex.

Yes, give us the pool shot again.

For all that I'm struggling a bit with this show, I do want to praise the visual production values from Star Hunter. This show has been very visually pleasing and easy on the eyes. There was a period in 2020 where everything was way too bright and white.

I forgot Mangkorn looked like a lifeguard.

I feel like if he was serious about destroying the phone, he'd microwave it. Also, in the age of cloud storage, the video is definitely not stored on the phone.

Mangkorn: "You're pretty stupid for a villain. Let's fuck again."

Oh, a frank request for consent followed by role-play. It's time to tag @lutawolf in, because the show is going there.

I think I like that the show ended that scene on a joke. I'm also glad that we have more shows presenting fellatio as a quickly-accessible form of m/m pleasure.

These two are so weird about each other.

Can't believe we had a scene where we had a mic'd actor brush his mic repeatedly and then change shirts. Pain.

And now they're on a date??

Oh, hey elder gays. And now this show had joined the call for marriage equality with a sad piano backing track. Add it to the list!

Really loving Thai BL this year being very plain about support for queer issues.

So Mangkorn runs off to buy noodles from a place right near Yai's condo? I mean it's nice since Yai is dealing with discomfort, but it still reads a bit weird to me.

I get that this scene is meant to show them contemplating each other, but I really hope it didn't take Yai hours to eat noodles in the same spot while Mangkorn was working.

I enjoyed Da. Hopefully we see her again.

The communication between Yai and his guards leaves much to be desired.

Another show with ghosts? Well, she's using her powers for good. I wonder how many points that cost her.

Should we start a running tally of damaged phones in this show? Current count: 2

We go from yearning for marriage equality to an arranged marriage only the dads seem into. The whiplash.

88 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#4

It's been a while since I watched a MAME show. Everyone is very attractive, but I'm always slightly frowning about something.

90 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#3

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us Ep 3 Thoughts

I'm still not over the architectural bars in the middle of In's room.

Wang is attractive in a way that feels unusual for Thai dramas I'm used to.

The confidence in the ritualistic way In made that coffee was kinda hot.

The flirting over coffee and speaking between the lines brought me back to 1000 Stars for a moment. It's kinda interesting that Coffee Melody hasn't hit this level of sexual tension over coffee.

It's absolutely captivating watching a show from Thailand where the cinematography feels intentional the entire time. The conversation over breakfast is mostly just A-B cuts, but putting In and Sawimol in one frame highlights the choices they've made as adults that separates them from Wang. Going to the wide shot of the table highlights the gulf between both parties. Then, as soon as Sawimol exits, the two men are reaching across that Gulf over shared purpose. Finally, the overhead shot and pan indicates that they've reached a private accord. I'm gonna lose it.

I think I am glad that Wang apologized to his mom, even if the inherent codependency of their dynamic worries me. I think it's okay for Wang to disapprove of the dated nature of some of her work, but it was indeed incredibly rude for him to deride her the way he did.

In explaining that he doesn't cry by avoiding things that make him sad...while standing next to the cage...is just going to drive me insane. The way he walked away from Wang to the desk frames him such that he retreats behind the bars.

I'm not sure Wang even knows what he wants from In.

I liked the bridge-buiding montage. It seems like Wang did not get much of an experience he enjoyed at his boarding school, so there was probably something enjoyable masculine about the labor.

These two are unsubtle about the way they discuss risk taking. In is set in his reserve, and Wang is firmly opposed.

Oh lord here the Thai boys go again getting their whole pant legs wet around bathing.

In takes a glance, but always walks away from desire when it creeps up with Wang.

There were so many people hired for this surprise.

Oh my goodness I'm going to exit my corporeal form. If my family hired performers to do an almost interpretive dance as they sung happy birthday with a violinist before a guy with a globe-shaped cake exited a giant present box, I would probably just die right there.

This time, when describing the game, the A-B framing puts Wang on the bottom of the frame with his mom. Interesting that the last time we had this, In was presented as more equal. Wang may know what his mom is up to, but he's not really in control.

Man, the constant use of metaphor is something I've missed even in queer cinema. This show is a real treat for me.

Ah, we have a conceit to remove the mom from the story for a few days. Something LGBT is definitely going to happen.

Confirming that In and Siam we're intimate only brings up more questions, like why were they sorry it happened?

Man, this show is just so different from the usual fare. I enjoy BL immensely, but I am a sucker for this particular brand of queer melancholia tinged with hope and exploration.

107 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#2

I really am just so happy about the end of Minato’s Laundromat. Japan didn’t let us down on that one. We got a solid set of kisses, some great relief flirting, and a very tasteful double-confirmation about sating desires. I really couldn’t ask for more from this particular scenario.

Moreover, Shin never had to sublimate his feelings! He still gets to be a doctor, but he chose to do it near the person he values most.

Hell, even Asuka and Shuu get to work out their dynamic!

I’m in a good mood today.

121 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I am a gay man sitting on his porch in a robe with a hot cup of coffee observing the behaviors of the winds and birds. I give a small sniff and say, "The lesbians are on the move."

I adjust my radio and listen to the advertisement for Gap one more time and nod sagely before sitting in my rocking chair. "Guess we'll need more plates," I muse before taking a sip as the cries of joy begin to rise in the distance.

(Congratulations on the Gap trailer release!)

253 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theghostpinesmusic]

This is not a video from the official Goose channel, but some kind soul posted the "Rosewood Heart" from their 4/8 Moon Cabin/lunar eclipse show and so I'm gonna do it!

I love "Rosewood Heart," but I've already waxed "eloquent" about it in a previous post if you want to read it for some reason (and/or want to re-experience the emotional devastation of COVID lockdown, because, after all, what else do you have to do today?!).

This particular version comes from the same 4/8 show as that massive "Into The Myst" -> "Arcadia" that I wrote about a few days ago, because 4/8 is unstoppable.

One of the many things that I love about this song is its intro, and this version gets extended even more than usual. Add in Cotter's airy touch on the drums and we're off to a great start.

The instrumental break that starts at 3:13 is one of my favorite composed bits of music that Goose does. Just gorgeous.

The jam proper starts at 6:20, and Trevor is out front at first, with Peter and Rick providing melodic support, which is just fantastic.

Like a lot of this first Capitol Theatre/Cotter Ellis jams, the word that comes to mind here is patience. The band just sort of sits in this initial space for a minute or so and lets things develop before Peter and Rick start to play this neat little riff in parallel, with Peter eventually switching over to his xylophone patch tone. This bit gets some time to breathe as well, and during this groove my favorite thing from the entire run happens, at 8:40, when Jeff plays the chimes using a stuffed dog toy for some reason. It makes me laugh every time I see it, but when it happened live I completely lost it. I can't justify my actions, it just cracks me up, especially the face he makes right before doing it.

Anyway, the Stuffed Dog Groove continues, with Trevor taking a more prominent role and with Cotter switching up the beat to match rhythmically what Peter is playing melodically. It's pretty cool. Rick seems mostly content to let this unfold, only adding some notes here and there (and seemingly teasing "Seven Below" for the eight millionth time, at least in my imagination).

He joins back in a bit more significantly around 10:15, without changing the trajectory of the jam, and...we just keep grooving.

I'm noticing a trend here in "reviewing" recent Goose jams in that they are often getting into these stretched-out, slowly-developed jam sections that I often love, but the changes are so incremental and gradual that I end up not being able to write about them in as much detail as I often do with Phish jams, where the changes are often swift, dramatic, and, in their own, just as awesome if not more so. Case in point: the next five of so minutes of this "Rosewood" jam don't change drastically from where the band is sonically at 10:15, but they're definitely changing the entire time. So, these write-ups tend to become a bit more stream of consciousness than usual when they go this way. That said, by 16:00 we've build up enough momentum that this feels less like a mellow groove and more like a full-on rock-and-roll jam. The cymbals help.

The build really starts to come to a head around 18:00 when Rick starts trilling and the drums become much more prominent. Cotter pushes the jam into full-on rock territory at 18:27 (with perfect timing, I might add) and Rick responds by deploying both a more aggressive tone and some more aggressive shredding.

Rick starts playing a little more dissonantly at 20:30, which leads to a nice little bit of tension (with the eventual release punctuated by the new smoke machines, which I'd love a lot more if you couldn't actually hear them on the livestream). From there we drop into some more extended, classic Goose tension-and-release stuff for a minute that starts to descend into complete Clown Madness before Rick rescues us at 22:33.

There's one more Evil Goose section at 23:20, and Trevor's ominous-ass bass really shines here, as does the terrifying light display, and then another peak at 24:25, which carries us through to the end of the song/jam.

I know I've been focusing a ton on these guys' new, more patient and slow jamming style lately, but this take on "Rosewood" is maybe the epitome of it so far. Like, they jam for about nineteen minutes here and all of it sort of follows from one idea, there's no real significant tempo or key changes (except during the brief tension interludes) and we end more or less where we started at the beginning of the song. It's all really cohesive and interactive and great, but I'm also looking forward to some more weirdness as the (20% new) band gels more...

[keres-dndoc]

keres

meet keres (she/they/fae), my lunar sorcerer in a homebrew 5e game based on Dragon Age!!

Keres was born in a very odd manner. They were exactly 3 weeks early, and active labour lasted the same 22 minutes as the full double lunar eclipse. Keres has blue skin, and when she was born their head was topped with purple peachy fuzzy hair. On their forehead, is a white upside down crescent moon that faintly glows. Horrified by the implications, as both her parents were human, Keres’s mother Marie didn’t hold this newborn baby for the first month of their life.  

At age 3, Keres started to show signs that faer magic was brewing, but for the most part it was tame. No attempt was made to hide them from other people in the city, but their parents did “accidentally” spread the rumour that Keres was just, found on their doorstep, and they were so kind to take the baby in, and they’d feel bad abandoning it now, even though it does have magical tendencies out of the chantry’s control. 

At 16, Keres' life had not much improved. When puberty hit, they started growing antlers, leading them to believe that their magic stems from Ghilan’nan. While they are a bit religious averse due to the intensity of their parents, they want to find comfort in the thought that Ghilan’nan could be guiding them home, wherever that may be. When they overheard their parents talking about seeking anti-magic solutions, to restrain Keres’ innate magic, they grabbed what little they could and ran away. Keres felt that this magic was the one thing they needed to hold on to above all else. Not once did they consider a circle. To Keres, magic was innate, and to their parents it was to be restricted. There was no other option. 

They made ends meet by pickpocketing drunk tavern-goers, and performing small gambling swindles (minor illusion and mage hand are quite good for this) and singing songs to sailors and merchants alike on the docks of Aren. 

They were one day, while trying to catch some sleep in the halls of a thieves guild, approached by Shay, a captain of a ship. They said that they’d been watching Keres swindle the people around here, and with light fingers like that, fae ought to make some good out of it. So, Keres joined his pirate crew. He taught them how to size up a target for what they’re actually worth, such as to pickpocket from wealthier types, to give back to the poor (sometimes ourselves, sometimes others). He taught Keres that it’s not really stealing if they needed it more, and Keres understood that profoundly. They never meant to stay on the ship so long, it was only meant to be temporary, but the crew heard them sing their song ‘The Moonlight Lament' and they fell in love with them, and in turn Keres fell in love with their new family too. In order to lay low, fae never exceeded too far on the ship, preferring to stay on as boatswain at most.

One day, when the ship was docked for repairs, Keres was exploring this small town. They were staking out a Chantry, attempting to determine if there were any decent targets for their latest plan to redistribute the wealth. However, they got caught in a bit of a shitshow when a young boy set the place ablaze. Seeing something in him that Shay had once seen in Keres, fae helped them escape authorities and brought him back to the ship. Keres introduced him as her replacement, as they overheard something about Tevinter (a place they knew by name, but knew nothing else about). A chantry-member spoke down on the place, but to Keres that was the appeal. They want to know if they can learn more about the magic they seem to possess. So they left the ship with a heavy heart and headed on their way with nothing but their backpack and pet rat they met on the ship, Vinnie.

They left the ship a year before Present Day, having arrived in Tevinter. They still laid on the outskirts of society, but their presence is well expected in the library. In their readings, they have become particularly fascinated with Lusacan, an Old God; the Dragon of Night. Keres feels this to be a kindred spirit, but they didnt have the courage to read on, fearing what fae might find. In Tevinter they make a living as a clerk in a small magic shop, run by an old man named Piel (p-ee-l), who is going blind. Not much in stock beyond a healing potion and a small selection of common items (at least, common in Tevinter where magic is more prominent), but it’s the first time Keres has ever made honest work of themselves.

Piel’s oldest daughter is coming to look after him, and Keres feels ready to move on knowing that he will be in safe hands. That being said, they are unsure of where the next step is. Feeling no ties to any specific place, Keres feels certain they’ll follow whichever path seems right, and if all else fails, there is a ship they can call home. They fear there might be a higher calling waiting for them, but worst than that, there is nothing, and it has all been a trick of fate.

They receive a letter, calling them to Aren, to aid in a rebellion effort to unseat a boy king who has thrown the nations of Aren and Orlais into war. Keres doesn't have a specific direction they desire to go to next, so they respond to this letter and go to Aren. There, they meet the rest of the party, which includes a member of their pirate crew, and the boy who set a chantry alight, among others.

Our tasks begin small, collect ingredients, escort important people. This escalates, when a prophecy is made by the Seer of Thedas, naming us The Starforged Seven, and predicting the return of a spider queen (it's lolth, it's fucking lolth). We aided the Princess in her escape of Aren, and have brought her into Orlais. We have made an ally of the sworn sword of the seer, a woman named Ferne. Keres, mayhaps, is forming more than friendship with her. Our journeys had us save the village of Redcliffe from swaithes of undead and demonic presences, attract the attention of an important spy council, and arrive at the front lines between Aren and Orlais. Most recently, we faced a band of very unsavoury types, and the one Keres once rescued from the law, and have now become quite close to, met his end. He has been resurrected, but it us unknown where. We don't know when we will see him again, but Keres has hope it is soon. Partly because she misses him, and partly because some of the party members are dating him, and Keres doesnt want to hear them mope for too long.

[elminx]

Energy Update: October 2021

October is a “6” Universal Month {10(October) + 5 (2021) = 15 = 1+5 = 6}. For most of us, the quiet introverted energy of the number 6 is going to be a deep breath of relief after September which with its 5 energy made us feel like we needed to scurry, hurry, and do away, even when there was nothing left to do.

6 Energy is in perfect alignment with the harvest season as it encourages home, support, empathy, and even stillness. 6 carries to pause of expectancy, much like you experience within the Inguz rune. Within the 6 energy, perhaps, we can find the balance we would otherwise be sorely lacking this Libra season.

The Setup

The Sun, Mercury, and Mars are all in Libra heading towards a stellium (conjunct of three or more planets) that will peek slightly after our Libra new moon. Venus is ahead of the gang in Scorpio. Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, and Chiron all begin this month in retrograde. This is the nadir of retrograde season. The air is hazy, perceptions may be a bit off. Sink into the 6 energy by spending time in your home – go deep with your space. That will be an antidote to this energy all month long. This is a great month to do a deep seasonal clean. Donate the things that no longer serve you. Hold a seed, plant, or clothing swap. Get together with your loved ones to have a good meal. Stay close to home. Mercury retrograde in Libra is going to bring a lot of the retrograde tension into our relationships to remember to make space for conflict and try to find a solution that fits all people involved. Watch out for stickler issues around people-pleasing and unhealthy compromises. You can refer to my post about Mercury in retrograde for those details.

There are big shifts happening this month, we will end the month with the Sun and Mars in Scorpio, Venus in Sagittarius, and with Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury stationed direct. When the planets stand still while they station, it can feel like life is also standing still. We will be going into and out of this retrograde fog until Mercury and Jupiter station direct on 10/18. I reiterate: you may feel helpless to affect anything outside of your immediate home right now, but you can always have an effect on your home. Tap into the 6 energy to make your home a perfect haven for you and your others.

As Saturn begins his ascent forward again, he will tighten the ongoing square with Uranus in Taurus – this is our force paradox beginning to re-exert the vice grip we’ve been stuck in all year long. If you feel like you can’t make any headway, know that you are right on time.

The Nitty Gritty

This month we are being asked to sink deep into the root of it. We are at the end of a cycle, during the new year our lunar nodes will transition from the Gemini-Sagittarius axis to that of Taurus-Scorpio. Something deep inside all of us needs to shift to accommodate these changes that are happening all around us. This is a time to go slow and really tune in to your own rhythm.

This month has a lot going on: we will experience two cardinal T-squares between Aries-Libra-Capricorn, 1 Air Grand Trine between Moon-Mars-Jupiter, 1 Air stellium of Sun-Moon-Mercury-Mars in Libra, three planetary ingresses, and four planets that station direct and out of retrograde. Every one of our planets are fully engaged in this transformative moment.

The MVP for the month is going to be Pluto in Capricorn. Here we see echoes of all of 2020 but most specifically last Autumn when Mars went retrograde in Aries and squared off with Pluto in Capricorn. Now, one year later, in the opposite sign, Mars will do so again alongside the Sun and Mercury. Pluto is also, ironically, the first of the planets to move out of retrograde. He also rules one of our two cardinal T-squares of the month. Some outdated form or structure needs to die. Agreements are being tested. Loyalties are being questioned.

Mercury and Pluto clash twice more this cycle: they square off while they are both retrograde on 10/1 and then later when they are both direct on 11/2. These are part of a series of ongoing cardinal squares we’ve been experiencing since the very beginning of 2020. The Sun squares Pluto on 10/17 and Mars squares Pluto on 10/23. Additionally, our full moon in Aries on 10/20 is overshadowed by an intense cardinal T-square as the moon in Aries squares off against Pluto in Capricorn and opposes retrograde Mercury in Libra. All of these dates should be approached with a reasonable amount of caution. Pack your patience and expect some explosions. Pay special attention to when Mars and Pluto square off in the sky – those are fighting words. It may be difficult to escape the adrenaline rush of quick reactions but it is wiser during this time to step back and sit with things before leaping.

Again, the 6 energy of October can really support Sun and Mars in Libra’s ideal of everybody getting an even slice of the pie. Dig into this. Where are you taking too much? Where are you not giving enough? Start small this month – look at your own body. Think about how you take care of yourself. Or, if you are more inclined, take a deep look at how you are taking care of your living space. Check on all of your plants. Do a roommate-style check-up with any humans that you live with. Spend some time with your pets. Come back to center by grounding yourself in your safe home, in your body, in this moment.

Mercury makes two additional trines to Jupiter in Aquarius during its retrograde cycle while both are retrograde on 10/3 and later when both are direct on 11/1. This is a fast-moving transit but can provide insight and luck when needed.

As the first full week of October progresses, the Sun, Mercury, and Mars fall into line for a stellium that lights up the sky when joined by the moon on 10/6. This is a big power day. If you have been looking for a day to find your new path, this one is it. Just remember, Mercury is still in retrograde so you may see your path only to have it obscured in the mists again. Look towards 11/6-11/7 when Mercury will again conjunct Mars (this time in Scorpio) for a day to put this new path into action.

On 10/7 Venus enters Sagittarius and the mood will get marginally lighter. Venus in Sagittarius is mutable fire energy – she wants you to let your heart roam. You might find yourself more interested in trying new things and going on adventures while Venus is in the sign of the archer. The excitement of Saggy bear energy will get tamped down quickly by the retrograde haze so don’t expect to follow through on those beautiful but whimsical plans anytime soon.

The weekend of 10/8-10/10 is a great time to take one big cosmic pause. Stay home. Say no. Take a bath instead. The Moon, Venus, and the South Node will make a brief conjunction at 02° Sagittarius just as Venus goes out of bounds. A planet is considered out of bounds when it goes above the tropic of Cancer, or, in this case, below the Tropic of Capricorn. These points reflect the plurality of the solstices and Summer-Winter connection. Planets that are out-of-bounds can be hard to reach – you may find it harder to access your feelings of empathy or may be down on yourself more about your physical appearance while Venus is out of bounds. This may be especially rough for our Venus-ruled Libras who are already undergoing an intense Mercury retrograde transit in their chart.

Be wary here. There’s a lot of prickle to the world these days and something about Venus going out of bounds right now reminds me a bit of checking out instead of dealing with what is going on in your own life. That won’t cut it through this year – through these hard aspects – you really need to settle in and do the work. There is so much to be gained right now by showing up and staying aware with yourself through these adjustments.

What is coming up during this time needs to be addressed. With so many personal planets involved, something close to home needs attending to. This weekend and really the whole month would be very counter-indicated for going away. Watch for who runs rather than showing up. On Sunday, Saturn stations direct at 06° Aquarius – this immediately reactivates our Saturn-Uranus square and tensions will begin to rise a bit. This is a long-term aspect that doesn’t resolve until the end of the year so there’s not much to do other than observe it now.

We experience our second cardinal T-square on 10/12 as Mercury retrograde in Libra squares off with the Moon in Capricorn and opposes Chiron retrograde in Aries. This is a major pain point, something that has been brought to light during this Mercury retrograde cycle.

This Mercury-Chiron oppositional peeks on 10/18 and will continue strong for another week or so. Mercury’s post-shadow stretched through the rest of October and into November, remember that we need to retrace our steps back through Libra before the lessons of this retrograde cycle will be fully revealed.

Mercury is joined by Jupiter going direct also on 10/18 – this is a go day. Do it. Make a difference. Make a plan. Make a list. You are supported.

The energy should shift drastically as the Sun enters Scorpio on 10/22 and Mars follows on 10/30. We might feel a bit like we’ve jumped from one deep pool to another as Scorpio season hints immediately at its own depths and the eclipse season that comes with it.

Our sweet Air Grand Trine happens on Monday 10/25 when the Moon in Gemini lines up briefly with Mars in Libra and Jupiter in Aquarius. This is another go day. Think big. We are starting to feel the pull of forward momentum now that some of the retrograde fog has lifted. The last week of October holds the lightest energy of the month – again, ironically.

As if we are walking this month backward, like Merlin. Spirit reminds me that he was another traveler who walked the low path.

All in all the energy of the month is going to be dense and prone to internalization. How you perceive that and how comfortable it makes you have a lot to do with your personal chart and comfort with self-reflection. Watch out for emotional regulation or disassociation especially around any of those harsh aspects between the moon, Mercury, Mars, and Pluto. Watch out for denial and rose-colored glasses – the world is trying to tell you something for a reason – it’s time to stop ignoring your gut instincts. It’s the time for you to show up every day, as often as you are able, for yourself.

Good Days: 10/2, 10/6, 10/8, 10/13, 10/16, 10/18, 10/25 Caution Days (Saturn square Uranus): 10/14, 10/21 Caution Days (Cardinal squares): 10/1, 10/3, 10/12, 10/17, 10/20, 10/22 Fuzzy Days: 10/6, 10/10, 10/18, 10/26

The Aspects

Please keep in mind that most aspects have an effect for a number of days before and after the day of exactitude, listed below. I have bolded aspects the require particular attention.

10/1 – Mercury Rx in Libra square Pluto Rx in Capricorn, Mars in Libra opposed Chiron in Aries 10/2 – Venus in Scorpio sextile Pluto Rx in Capricorn – sweet days 10/3 – Mercury Rx in Libra trine Jupiter Rx in Aquarius, Sun in Libra opposed Chiron in Aries 10/6 – Dark Moon at 13° Libra conjunct Mercury Rx and Mars, Pluto SD 10/7 – Venus enters Sagittarius 10/8 – Sun conjunct Mars 15° Libra – where do you need to move forward in your life? What motivates you? How can you be the best version of who you are right now? 10/9 – Sun conjunct Mercury retrograde, Mercury retrograde conjunct Mars, Moon square Jupiter Rx, Moon sextile Pluto Rx, Moon conjunct Venus and the South Node 2° Sagitarrius, Venus OOB – here you may really see where you are out of alignment with your path here. You may have to return to something you think that you’ve outgrown (Venus conjunct South Node). See warning above about Venus OOB 10/10 – Saturn SD 10/11 – Mercury opposed Chiron begins – this close aspect will last for the next 15 days, its a pain point that is being reactivated by this Mercury retrograde cycle – these to planets will stay within one degree of conjunction from 10/15-10/20 10/12 – Moon in Capricorn square Mercury Rx in Libra, Cardinal T Square – CAUTION – this is another one of these days that is going to light up that long-term fight. You know the one. 10/13 – Venus in Sagittarius sextile Saturn Rx in Aquarius 10/14 – Sun in Libra trine Jupiter Rx in Aquarius, Moon conjunct Saturn in Aquarius, Moon square Uranus – CAUTION – the Sun meets Jupiter while the sky is tense with our Saturn-Uranus square. Don’t pick that fight. 10/16 – Mercury Rx in Libra sextile Venus in Sagittarius – a way through, seek out freedom for everybody 10/17 – Sun in Libra square Pluto in Capricorn – CAUTION – go slow 10/18 – Jupiter SD, Mercury SD, Mars in Libra trine Jupiter in Aquarius, Mercury opposed Chiron – go days – get it. 10/20 – Full Moon at 27° Aries, T Square between moon in Aries, Pluto in Capricorn, and Mars in Libra – CAUTION. Take things slowly today. Watch your temper. Remember to pick your battles. 10/21 – Moon square Saturn, Moon conjunct Uranus – CAUTION, go slow 10/22 – Mars square Pluto – CAUTION, go slow. Take a break. Stay home. 10/23 – Sun enters Scorpio 10/25 – Air Grand Trine between Moon in Gemini, Mars in Libra, and Jupiter in Aquarius – go days, get it. think big. 10/26 – Venus in Sagittarius square Neptune Rx in Pisces – foggy 10/30 – Sun in Scorpio square Saturn in Aquarius

Do you like my work? Please consider supporting me by Buying Me a Ko-Fi.

[writerjuliannaf]

Thank you so much @laurajournal for tagging me!! I had a blast participating ❤︎

About Me~

MUSIC

Favorite genre(s)?

Rock, Folk, Eighties, Pop, Alternative/Indie

Favorite song(s)?

1. Wrecked by Imagine Dragons

2. Follow You by Imagine Dragons

3. The Funeral by Band of Horses

4. Little Did I Know by Julia Michaels

5. Stakes by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

6. When We Were Young by The Killers

7. Lost by Dermot Kennedy

8. Papercut by LINKIN PARK

9. Fix You by Coldplay

10. Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

11. So Far Away by Staind

12. Everything Changes by Staind (… if I could keep going, I would)

Most listened song recently?

If The World Was Ending by Julia Michaels & JP Saxe (I��m a sucker for duets)

Song currently stuck in your head?

Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

5 favorite lyrics?

1.  Now that we're here, it’s so far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

All in the mistakes

One life contained

They all finally start to go away

Now that we're here, it’s so far away

And I feel like I can face the day,

And I can forgive

And I'm not ashamed

To be the person that I am today

~ So Far Away by Staind

2.  But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could

Learn how to feel

Then we could

Stay here together

And we could

Conquer the world

If we could

Say that forever

~ Everything Changes by Staind (Aaron Lewis’ voice just sends me right back to my childhood)

3. Loud thunder, heavy rain

Thin line 'tween joy and pain

It's a long strange trip, it's all insane

You ain't never gonna be the same

~ Loud and Heavy by Cody Jinks

4.  Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out

Will you fix me up?

Will you show me hope?

At the end of the day, you were helpless

Can you keep me close?

Can you love me most?

~ Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

5.  Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

~ Lullaby by Nickelback

Pick!

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands…… both | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

Favorite book series?

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer & The Lorien Legacies by Pittacus Lore

Comfort book(s)?

The Merchant’s Daughter, The Captive Maiden, and The Golden Braid —all by Melanie Dickerson

Favorite book(s)?

Divergent by Veronica Roth and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Perfect book(s) to read on a rainy day?

Hendrix by softsloth (an amazing werewolf romance on Wattpad) and You Are Not Alone by penbehindthemask (the BEST Phantom of The Opera fanfic on Wattpad)

Favorite character(s)?

Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Four, Jo March, Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester, and Six —from The Lorien Legacies

5 favorite quotes from your favorite books?

1. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me.” ~Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

2. “I’ll be your family now.” ~Insurgent by Veronica Roth

3. “Penguins. Lovely.” ~Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

4. “One of the gifts our planet gave us is to love completely. Without jealousy or insecurity or fear. Without pettiness. Without anger.” ~I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore

5. “It was too mangy. A little bit like you.” ~Her Wolf King (THE BEST Beauty & The Beast/Jane Eyre retelling) by @linsimin

Pick!

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first… both | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

Favorite tv/movie genre(s)?

Romance, Fantasy, Superheroes, Comedy, Action/Adventure, Dystopian, and Sci-Fi

Comfort movie(s)?

Jane Eyre (2011 version), Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar, Pride & Prejudice, The Silver Linings Playbook, Ratatouille, The Phantom of The Opera, LOTR, and The Hobbit (… I wish I could keep going)

Movie you watch every year?

The Santa Clause

Favorite movie?

X-Men

Favorite tv show(s)?

The Office, Portlandia, Fruits Basket, Friends, Wolverine and The X-Men, Last Man Standing, Cobra Kai, Man With a Plan, Gilmore Girls, Sweet Magnolias, #blackAF, Dr. Who, North & South, Adventure Time (… and the list is neverending)

Comfort tv show?

The Office

Most rewatched tv show?

The Office

5 Favorite tv/movie characters?

1. Logan Howlett from X-Men

2. Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls

3. Michael Scott from The Office

4. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket

5. Cindy Berman from Fear Street

Pick!

tv shows or movie….. both | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online.

I tag: @sincerelyrachelr @linsimin and anyone else who wants to join in on the fun 🌸

[deathchamber6172]

Short Story: Agape

A little bit about Pluto.

Destiny belongs to Bungie.

My guardian ocs (Alex Ridley, Eclipse-15, Plasma-13, Mos Conahn) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

22. Agape

The hunter hunched forward, taking deep breaths. It was her first Crucible match and… it went surprisingly well. She wasn’t first on her team, she still was in the middle. With practice, maybe she would be the top teammate and lead her team to victory. She grinned, giving a glance at her ghost. PBJ only snorted and his shell twirled.

“Hey there young one!” Eclipse-15 threw his arm around her and ruffled up her hair with his knuckles. “Heard you finally tried the Crucible, about time too.”

“Hey!” Alex squirmed out of his hold, trying to fix her hair.

“Not my fault you’re short,” he leaned on her shoulder to emphasize the- small- height difference, “did you follow my advice?”

She crossed her arms and held her chin up. “Nope. Took Plasma’s advice.” The warlock gasped. “Yep, and it worked too, take that oldie.”

“My feelings!” Eclipse-15 clutched his chest with a dramatic gasp, placing the back of his hand on his forehead.

“Oh please, I thought you didn’t have a heart.”

“Rude.” He flicked her forehead. “Exos do have hearts, just not like you jello humans.” Alex batted him back, but he kept her at arm's length, her hands failing to get him. “Nice try, but you can’t beat the master.” He stepped to the side and let her stumble forward. “Keep at it though, good job.”

Alex gave him a glare. “Oldie.”

“Grape.”

“I’m not a grape!”

“Your hair,” he gestured at the purple hair, “is purple, like a grape.”

Alex only huffed, straightening up. Eclipse-15 let out a chuckle and turned to the side. “I guess this calls for a celebration, Alex finally went to the Crucible. Ramen?”

She remained with a frown. “You can’t tempt me with ramen to make me forgive you.”

“I guess more ramen for me…” He shrugged, starting to walk away. The hunter yanked on his arm and began to walk with him. “Hm?”

“Oh shut up, I’m hungry.” Alex bumped his hip as they walked. “Might as well eat if you’re paying.”

“Who said I was going to pay for your share?”

“You offered. Whoever offers has to buy it.”

Eclipse-15 tilted his head, “I’m pretty sure whoever offers, the other one pays for it.”

“Hm…” Alex tapped her chin and shook her head. “Nope, and besides, you’re older. As a brother, you have to.”

“I have to?” He laughed, lightly elbowing her side. “I’m going to tell that to Plasma, she's the oldest.”

She clicked tongue. “Good luck with that.”

Reaching the ramen shop; Alex paused at seeing a few decorations and a banner: Happy Birthday Ridley. She tilted her head, glancing at him. Was it talking about her or someone else named Ridley? Eclipse-15 poked her nose. “Silly, it’s been exactly one year since you’ve been a guardian.”

“Really…?” Alex glanced to the side, going through her brain to remember when she was first brought back to life as a guardian. It seemed so long ago. One day she woke up on the beach, now she wakes up in a bed, in a home. “I guess I never really paid attentioned to it.”

“I helped Eclipse set it up!” PBJ nuzzled her cheek.

Alex smiled, brushing her fingers on his shell like she would do a cat. “Thanks PBJ…”

“What? No thank you for me?” Eclipse-15 teased, fake pouting. “I feel so rejected.”

“Thank you oldie.” She gave him a hug.

“Can we join in?” The rest of Pluto stood there; Plasma-13 and Mos Cahn joined in, not giving them time to respond. Plasma-13 squeezed them. “Happy birthday Alex.”

Mos wiped her eye. “I can’t believe you’re all grown up.”

“Oh please.” Alex rolled her eyes, trying to squirm away. Pluto only squeezed her more into the hug. “Let me out!”

“Nope, you’re stuck in our love hug.”

“Ewww!”

They all laughed, soon letting Alex go, and joined the others at the shop.

[bobasheebaby]

Grey’s Anatomy Prompts

I’m going a tad stir crazy, so I decided to make a prompt list of 80 Grey’s quotes I love. This may have been done before but I don’t care. It’s mostly angsty prompts and it’s long as hell. (Break at 15)

1 “When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.” —Meredith Grey

2 “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he is not the sun—you are.” —Cristina Yang

3 “Your choice, it’s simple: her or me? And I’m sure she’s really great. But I love you. In a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” —Meredith Grey

4 “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.” —Mark Sloan

5 “It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.” —Lexie Grey

6 “Don’t let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice, so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence.” —Meredith Grey

7 “Not everyone has to be happy all the time. That isn’t metal health. That’s crap.” —Meredith Grey

8 “Breakthroughs don’t happen because of the medicine. Real breakthroughs happen because someone is scared to death to stop trying.” —Derek Shepherd

9 “We don’t get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.” —Addison Montgomery

10 “And if you can't do it, if you aren't willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping, even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed.” —Amelia Shepard

11 “Oh screw beautiful! I’m brilliant! If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.” — Christina Yang

12 “You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me.” — Derek Shepard

13 “The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me, because when you look at me, you see me. You see me. This is me.” — Owen Hunt

14 “It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose.” — Richard Webber

15 “You are my person. You will always be my person.” — Christina Yang

16 “It doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.” — Alex Karev

17 “Please, don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me.” — Callie Torres

18 “Change … we don’t like it, we fear it. But we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t, is lying. But here’s the truth: Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is … everything.” — Meredith Grey

19 “Intimacy is a four letter syllable for- here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy. It’s both desired and feared. Difficult to live with, impossible to live without” -Meredith Grey

20 “You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you and you can get over it. All you gotta do is survive.” -Alex Karev

21 Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You loved. You Lost. Walk tall.” -Mark Sloan

22 "Just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people."-Izzie Stevens

23 "I am woman. Hear me roar." - Miranda Bailey

24 "I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?" -Jackson Avery

25 “If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting crap and demand something more.” -Cristina Yang

26 “You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!” - Callie Torres

27 I am not an ugly duckling. I'm a swan."-April Kepner

28 “Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big 'pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window', unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” - Meredith Grey

29 “I’ve had to give up things but what I’ve learned is that I don’t need much. I don’t need much to be happy.” -Arizona Robbins

30 “I need the day off. For drinking.” -Addison Montgomery

31 "It turns out sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who we really are." -Denny Duquette

32 “In the beginning everyone is there, but then they forget.” - Amelia Shepherd

33 "Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying." -Meredith Grey

34 “You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end.” -Teddy Altman

35 “Yeah we’re friends…I mean right now I’d probably say you’re one of my best friends.”-George O’Malley

36 “I’m just gonna feel bad that I made it so you can never love again” -Jo Wilson

37 "The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes." -Owen Hunt

38 “There’s a land called passive agressiva, and you’re their queen” -Derek Shepherd

39 “Let’s play a game of whose life sucks the most. I’ll win. I always win.” -Meredith Grey

40 “I take things personally. I get emotional.” -Lexie Grey

41 “Stop looking at my like that. Like you’ve seen me naked” -Meredith Grey

42 “Pretty good is not good enough, I want to be great.” -Cristina Yang

43 "Don't let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence." - Meredith Grey

44 “Let’s just make-out on the couch.” -Nathan Riggs

45 "Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop." -Meredith Grey

46 “Deal with your jealousy. Deal with your shortcomings. Don’t put your crap on me.” -Stephanie Edwards

47 "I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past - I know, but I would never leave you. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you.." -George O’Malley

48 “Sometimes you have to be a shark.” -Lucy Fields

49 “Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m damaged goods. I’m still me. I’m still here.” -Adele Webber

50 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey

51 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey

52 "For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything." -Alex Karev

53 "You can't be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you respect." - Lexie Grey

54 “Some days, the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, when you least expect it, the world gets right again.” -Meredith Grey

55 “Shut up. Dance it out.” -Cristina Yang

56 “We may only be together five minutes every two months, but when we do we will savor every second. We know how valuable those five minutes are.” -Ben Warren

57 “There comes a point when you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living” -Callie Torres

58 “Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.” -Arizona Robbins

59 “Bad things happen, but you have to move past it. Leave it behind. The sooner, the better. Or it’ll eat away at you and stop you from moving forward.” -Miranda Bailey

60 “This is the way the world changes. Good people, raising babies right” -Catherine Avery

61 “The problem is we are human. We want more than to just survive. We want to love.” -Lexie Grey

62 "There's a club. The Dead Dads/Moms/Parents Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad/mom/parent’s died when I was AGE. NAME, I'm really sorry you had to join the club." -Cristina Yang

63 “I’m going to die because these people aren’t properly trained” -Derek Shepherd

64 “I believe if you were dead, the world would be a better place” -George O’Malley

65 “You think you broke me, NAME? You’re the one who put me back together.” -Mark Sloan

66 “I want so much for you. For both of us. So much more than this. More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free.” -Callie Torres

67 “Every kiss before the right kiss doesn’t count anyway” -Derek Shepherd

68 “The expected is what keeps us steady. It’s the unexpected that changes our lives forever.” -Meredith Grey

69 “Promise that you’ll love me, even when you hate me.” -Meredith Grey

70 "The problem is, fairytales don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seem to become the reality." -Meredith Grey

71 “How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I am ruined, okay? I am dead, I am wrecked." -Cristina Yang

72 “I didn’t like teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.” -Cristina Yang

73 “So you fight. Until you can’t fight anymore.” -Amelia Shepherd

74 “Don’t analyze everything. Just do it.” -Alex Karev

75 “Some lies aren’t lies. They’re love.” -Meredith Grey

76 “That’s where love exists, in delusional fantasies.” -Meredith Grey

77 "Friends are the family we choose." -Meredith Grey

78 "Don't ever date a man who can't handle your power." - Meredith Grey

79 "It’s not hard. It’s painful but it’s not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be in this much pain." —Miranda Bailey

80 “You’re my heaven. But maybe ... maybe I’m your hell.” — Denny Dequette

[mhdiaries]

Wave 4 Robecca Steam Diary

19 September - Then

Our show tonight was a rousing success. My rocket boots worked to perfection after the adjustments father made and I was able to complete the trick in such a way that it elicited gasps from the audience yet remained perfectly safe for me. Father was so pleased that he is allowing me to take tomorrow’s train instead of the one tonight so that I may stay and engage in a round of roller maze. I am so excited my boiler is near to bursting! My only regret is that father was not able to adjust my internal clock before he departed. Well, it is not to be a worry tonight and I am sure he will be able to resolve the problem when we are reunited on the morrow.

20 September - Then

Frost my firebox was I vexed this morning! I missed yet another appointment due to the inability of my internal clock to keep the correct time. Now to be sure there are appointments and there are appointments, and one is to be forgiven if fashionable lateness allows for a grand entrance in the former; but when exacting punctuality is required of the latter, such as catching a train that leaves promptly at noon and your arrival is thirty minutes after the departure of said train, vexation will rule the day. Thus I found myself standing on the station platform with steam raising from my ears and baggage piled high around me. From a distance it must have looked as if some monster had fashioned a cabin of suitcases on the platform and upon finishing their labor celebrated by lighting a fire in the stove. I was obliged to send father a telegraph informing him of my situation and assuring him that I would be on time for tomorrow’s train even if I had to spend the night on the platform. Fortunately, it did not come to that as the gargoyle that drove me from Miss Kindergrubber’s boarding house to the train station was still available to convey me back. My tardiness at the train station will, however, make it possible for me to attend the gala birthday ball being thrown in honor of a Miss Draculaura. She is the daughter of a very famous, and well-to-do vampire, named Dracula. I am excited to have the opportunity to make both of their acquaintances. I was delighted to learn that Dr. and Mrs. Stein had arrived in town on the very train that I missed! Dr. Stein is one of my father’s most respected acquaintances, both he and his lovely bride will be attending the ball and have offered to act as my chaperones so that I do not have to present myself as unattended.

21 September - Then

The party was grander that I could have imagined. Every creature was dressed in their finest and I saw many famous monsters and digniscaries. Draculaura could not have been a more kind or gracious host. I do not know how she knew I missed my train but she did, and was very genuine in her expression of sincere concern for my predicament. I was immediately pulled into her social circle as she introduced me to her friends with such rapidity that I hardly remembered a soul when she was through. Several of them had seen me perform however and were quite keen on hearing my tales of daring to. Eventually I excused myself in order to reunite myself with Dr. and Mrs. Stein, as I did not wish to appear ungrateful or rude for the kindness they had shown in escorting me to the party. I did not see either of them in the crowd so I made my way toward a group of guests where a lively discussion seemed to be under way about what made one a true monster. The most vocal of the group was rather corpulent goblin with pince-nez, prominent teeth and absurdly hairy ears;

Well of course she isn’t and how could she be? A wonder of modern mad science? Perhaps. A true monster? Never. Fashioning the flotsam and jetsam of a laboratory into some semblance of a creature does not make that creature a monster any more so than kittens born in an oven makes them scones. Do you know the old crackpot, genius though he may be, insists on calling her his daughter? Even more preposterous is that she refers to him as her father. As if steam could replace screams. 

I felt as though some monster had thrown a handful of sand into my gears and I thought, “Is this what every monster believes?” I was about to turn and quietly slip back into the crowd when I felt a very large but gentle hand on one shoulder and a smaller but reassuringly firm one on the other. Then a voice, at once calming to me and challenging to the speaker said, “Perhaps Herr Goblin would care to pronounce us either kitten or scone then.” I suppose it was un-lady like that I should have enjoyed the panic I saw on his face, as he looked from Dr. Stein to Mrs. Stein to me, but I did. The goblin quickly stammered an excuse and unceremoniously fled the room. Later, Dracula found us and offered his sincere apology. “Miss Steam I regret not that you heard such an insult to your monsterhood but that it was uttered at all. It is not an opinion shared in this house. Please accept our sincere apologies.” We conversed several more minutes and he left to attend other guests. He is indeed a true gentle-monster and the remainder of the gala was so delightful that it all but eclipsed the one brief moment of unpleasantness.

22 September - Then

Today as I was packing to leave under the punctual eye of Miss Kindergrubber, we received word from the railroad station that sometime in the night a very large and rather belligerent dragon had taken up residence in the main train tunnel between here and where I was to meet father. Owing to the dragon’s size and coloration it is believed that it might be preparing for hibernation. If that is indeed the case, I could be stranded here until the spring. Even though plans were being made to send for a dragon whisperer there were no guarantees. Clog my gears and rust my bearings! What shall I do now?

1 October - Then

I passed much of today in the good company of Dr. and Mrs. Stein. I had supposed that Dr. Stein’s scientific curiosity would be drawn to the nuances of my mechanical nature but aside from some polite questions regarding energy consumption most of the conversation centered around my relationship with my father. They had many questions on the resulting challenges of one day waking up as a fully formed monster in her teenaged years and how we dealt with those challenges as a family. I admitted that while the road was not always made for smooth traveling we were learning to navigate the more arduous portions of it together. Several times during these conversations it appeared to me that Mrs. Stein gripped the doctor’s hand more tightly and several times he seemed to be hesitant to ask certain questions. I excused myself at one point to add water to my boiler, as I was feeling a bit low. I returned to hear Mrs. Stein ask Dr. Stein in their native German: “Werden wir jemals ein eigenes kind haben?” to which he replied “Wenn die Zeit gekommen ist, das verspreche ich dir, werden wir es.” I could tell that I had interrupted a private moment so I attempted to change the subject by asking Dr. Stein if he might have an idea why my internal clock could not keep proper time. He laughed at my request and for a moment I felt embarrassed until Dr. Stein said, “It has been my experience that no amount of adjustment is sufficient to make a ghoul run on time.” For this Dr. Stein received a playful tap from Mrs. Stein and he continued, “Besides that, your father is the foremost mechanical mad genius in the world and it would be arrogant of me to speculate.” We ended our time together with a promise to meet again. I am already looking forward to that. 

15 October - Then

I received a telegraph from my father this morning informing me that he was joining a team set to explore a newly discovered area of the catacombs. I miss my father and look forward to that dragon moving on so we may be reunited. Tonight however, I shall skate in the maze with a local club against a team of gargoyles with a rather unsavory reputation. I am confident we shall prevail.

20 October - Now

I remember everything that happened to me right up until the last time I skated in the maze. It has been all I could do to daily resist the urge to let my life go to rust. The most difficulty has come from my father not being here. The team of explorers that he joined never returned from the catacombs. It has been a hundred years since any monster has seen them but I know they are still trying to find their way home because Ghoulia Yelps, as amazing and intelligent a ghoul as ever was, has been following any and all news about the team since before I was discovered and reassembled. She says that it is a great mystery and that there have been many books written about their mysterious disappearance. She also told me that six months ago a message was found written on the wall of a previously undiscovered cavern. It read simply, “Forward to our families. Onward to our hope.” It was signed by my father and dated three months prior to the cavern’s discovery. Ghoulia also helped me find my father’s old lab where I was delighted to find Captain Penny, the mechanical penguin father built for me. Poor thing’s fire had completely gone out and when I got him restarted he was so excited that he almost blew a heart gasket. I am still living at Miss Kindergubber’s, who is not a teacher at Monster High, and it was she convinced me to enroll. Even though I feel rather old fashioned and I am unfamiliar with much of current technology my new friends have been very accepting and are... scary sweet.

15 November - Now

I have become reacquainted with Dr. Stein and his bride through their daughter Frankie. Dr. Stein was sincerely apologetic for not being able to reassemble me after the accident. “You are a very complicated ghoul and I feared I would damage you further.” I assured him that I carried no grudge and I do not. Dr. Stein even interceded on my behalf with Headless Headmistress Bloodgood when she told me that I could not perform my scaredevil act at the middle school carnival as she thought it was too dangerous. I do not know what Dr. Stein said but the Headmistress relented and I was able to give two performances with an encore. It was truly an epic way to bring some old school to the new and shake off some of the rust in the process.

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 22: Convergence

Adam is sent to Daibazaal to research and eavesdrop. He totally does those things.

First  Previous  Next

Adam sits in a Daibazaani medical library, digging through records and case studies, nutritional guides and texts on growth spurts, season, and prenatal care. It’s tedious work, and most of it is only applicable to your average Galra, not one with a growing disorder. He'll gather data on what he can, and use it to make inferences in regards to what he can't.

He hasn't heard a single word. Not a whisper. Whatever rumors Lanval spoke of, they're either not here, or someone has gone to great lengths to make sure he doesn't hear about it. Figures. It's probably just some nonsense a few courtiers made up to entertain themselves. What a waste of time.

“I was told you were here.”

Adam looks up, adjusting his reading glasses to better see- “Takashi? What are you doing here?”

The captain smiles, stepping into the room ears-first. “I’ve taken some leave. I’m just out of my season and need a few days to recover.”

“Your- Oh, yes, of course. I forgot. You’re like Keith.”

“Yes. So what brings you to Daibazaal? Please, I’m so bored.”

Adam looks Shiro up and down. He seems quite tired, thinner than he remembers. Instead of leaning in the doorway of the reading room, he’s now leaning against the desk. “It seems boredom might be a good idea, given how you’re unwilling to stand for any length of time.”

“Season is… exhausting.”

A thought occurs to Adam, staring at Shiro. He sits back. “Tell me more. Lance sent me here in person to research such things, so a first-hand account could be invaluable.”

"I suppose. Why in person?"

"He wants me to keep my ears to the walls, listen for signs of unrest. That's all I'll say on the matter."

“Understandable. Well, it’s one of those things people don’t talk about…” Shiro’s smile widens. “But I don’t think it would do any harm. When you’re in season, you’re in this sort of haze. Time holds little meaning and your thoughts aren’t coherent. It can feel like it’s been days when it’s been minutes and minutes when it’s been days. You’re uncomfortable, like a fever but without the temperature. You forget to eat and drink, except for moments of extreme thirst. You’re ah, you’re wet, between your legs and you ache there. You can divine the rest of that.”

“So you what, lie in a daze and wait for a pack of other Galra to come ravage you?” Adam raises an eyebrow, frowning at the Galra.

Shiro laughs, displaying sharp teeth. “No, nothing like that. My gods, you Alteans really do think us animals, don’t you? Well, I wait for that, yes. But to say every sire within a certain radius is fighting for a chance to put a kit in me is absurd!

Our species mates for life, and we only ever have one mate. It’s an incredibly powerful bond, not something to be trivialized. You don’t choose someone at random. First mating while one of you is in season forges the strongest bond possible, but even then, it’s something decided beforehand, when actual consent can be given. When you do have a mate, they’re there to care for you, ensure you do not suffer too harshly. Everything else is meant to come second. ”

Adam stares, sighs. “Well, that was far more useful than everything I have read in the last six vargas. You have my thanks.”

Shiro simply smiles, one ear twitching as Adam types furiously on his datapad. “You really are a strange one. Not like the rest of your species.”

“No, I am not. My people are a foppish, silly gaggle of overgrown children who know little of the harshness this universe has to offer. Those who do are soldiers, and they have seen things they do not wish to speak of.”

“Alteans have never experienced invasion. They have the luxury of feeling safe in their homes.”

“A luxury indeed,” Adam murmurs. Silence stretches on for some time before Shiro speaks again.

“I think it’s high time you see something of Daibazaal's beauty, as opposed to our launchpad and the library.” Shiro stands, offers the slender Altean his arm.

Adam stares at it. “Where will we go?”

“Out of the city. Something… exceptionally rare is about to happen. I’d like for you to witness it with me. Besides, I could use the fresh air.”

“Seems to me what you could really use is a big meal and a good sleep.” Adam looks Shiro up and down, hazel eyes registering… hope. Shiro’s hopeful. He very much wants Adam to come with him. It’s enough to make him blush. He’s not used to this. “V- Very well.”

Adam cautiously takes the Galra captain’s arm. Shiro grins, visibly delighted.

They walk through darkened streets, the citizens still out of their dens, loose clothing drifting on a light breeze as they let pets out, fetch water, watch their children chase some kind of luminescent, flying reptile. It’s quiet, getting quieter by the minute. There’s a certain anticipation humming in the air.

The people watch as they pass by, glances giving way to stares as a well-dressed Altean walks by with a large Galra clearly fresh out of season. Adam ignores their gazes, looks straight ahead. The farther they go, the more red structures give way to red earth and scraggly plants. There is beauty here, Adam believes, if only his people could learn to appreciate something different. Perhaps it’s beautiful because it’s different.

“How has my… ‘brother’ -I think that’s the word- been these last few phoebs? He’s written to me, but it’s difficult to tell if he’s lying in writing.”

“He’s adjusting well. He’s begun training select men in combat on Alfor's orders. He threw a man across the room for disrespecting him. Lance particularly enjoyed it… Lance is the one beginning to struggle, I think."

“How so?”

“He’s essentially raising his spouse. It makes him uncomfortable. He said the other day it almost feels like he’s grooming him or manipulating him.”

Shiro throws his head back with a laugh. “Well you can tell your prince that there’s not a person alive that can groom or manipulate my brother into anything. He’s a stubborn little brat that does exactly what he wants. He follows orders because he chooses to. If he disagrees, he doesn't follow.”

“Sounds like he does what he wants either way.” Adam finds himself smiling at the humor, the fondness in Shiro’s voice as he talks about the youth he calls his brother.

“Exactly.” Shiro’s smile turns sly as they pass the last of the dens. “You know… there’s really only one reason I can think of that Lance would worry about such a thing.”

“And what reason is that?”

“They’re growing close.”

“They are, though independently from one another. Both are laboring under the delusion that they’re the only one developing feelings. Which begs the question: How can two strikingly intelligent, beautiful people be so singularly stupid?”

“A question for the moons. Speaking of which, we’re here. Sort of.”

In front of them is a rickety-looking bridge, wood and vines strung together, ends wrapped and woven around a pair of boulders on either side. They’re standing on the edge of a massive chasm. Leaning over, Adam can see water far, far below. “Hypothetical question: If I were to be thrown off this bridge, would I survive?”

“No. But don't worry. I won't let that happen. Now come on. You're about to see something incredibly rare and unbelievably beautiful.” Shiro somehow manages to slip Adam’s hand down to his own, guiding him onto the bridge. Adam hesitates, though he’s not sure if it’s due to the warm hand fully encompassing his or to the terrifying drop below. “You’re safe, Adam. I promise.”

Adam meets Shiro’s gray eyes, sees a smile there, takes a deep breath, takes a step. The bridge creaks beneath his feet, but he barely notices, following those ears that are always following him. Once they reach the middle of the bridge, Shiro does something almost as horrifying as being thrown off the bridge: he sits, tugs Adam down beside him.

Shiro sighs, swings his legs back and forth over the edge. He’s gazing straight ahead, fur glistening in pale moonlight. Adam follows his gaze, eyes growing wide. Two moons, enormous and full, hover over the canyon, nestled perfectly between its walls. As they watch, the silver moon begins to cover the golden one.

“Wow.”

“Tonight is a complete superimposition. Thanks to actual mass and some weird science stuff involving magnetic somethings and polarity and other stuff I don’t understand, we’re fortunate that our little system is stable with moons this size. And that superimposition won’t destroy us all. Instead it’s just… remarkably beautiful.”

Adam watches, sitting silent, the drop below forgotten as the two moons find the same center, blindingly bright, outshining the stars. Subconsciously, he leans perhaps a spot to the left, head and shoulder resting against Shiro’s side. He's not sure if he wants to keep his eyes open and watch or close them and savor the moment.

“Better than your research?” Shiro murmurs.

“Much better. Although if anyone asks, I never left the library.”

“Of course not. You only care about your work... Thank you for joining me.”

Adam hums, eyes half-closed as the moons gently slide past one another, quiet and discreet, rising high into the sky. It's a fleetingly short display, like an eclipse. He has no more reason to stay here, now that the show is over, but he finds himself unwilling to move, soaking up the warmth of Shiro’s body as more and more warmth leeches from the seemingly arid planet.

“We should get back before we freeze. It’s only gonna get colder.”

Adam sighs, nods, sits up so Shiro can stand. The moment is well and truly over, and worldly concerns -like hypothermia- have returned. Yet something lingers, hovering between them like warmth as they return to their realities.

It lingers as Adam returns tirelessly to his research, as Shiro brings him something to eat. When Adam finally surrenders to his burning eyes and aching head, he realizes that Shiro never left. He’s still there, asleep with his head on the desk.

For the first time in his life, Adam’s not sure what to do. So he leaves a note, steals some tablets, goes home. Wheeling his craft around for one last glance, he gets a ping on his comms device.

See you soon?

-Takashi

Adam bites his lip. He knows far better than this. Nobility though he may be, he's the crown prince's attendant. It's not his place to go fooling around with captains. And yet...

Hopefully

-Adam

The sad part is, Adam really is hopeful. This is going to be a major pain in his ass.

[junker-town]

Paige Bueckers and Jalen Suggs were BFFs long before dominating March Madness

The duo went from grade school friends to basketball legends.

As fulfilling as success can be, it’s even better when you get to share it with someone else. One of the best feelings is knowing you’re on top of the world, while getting to watch one of your best friends do exactly the same thing in their field. This is the case for Gonzaga star Jalen Suggs, and UConn phenom Paige Bueckers, two lifelong friends, now supporting each other from across the country, while their stars are shining on college basketball’s brightest stage.

Their roads to the Final Four might have split the two Minnesota natives onto opposite coasts, different timezones, and divergent basketball cultures — but their shared brilliance, honed against each other in backyard games of 21, have turned Suggs and Bueckers into household names overnight. An incredible article from Katie Barnes over at espnW detailed their early friendship.

At 10 years old there was nothing Paige Bueckers loved more than basketball. She’d already been playing for a couple of years, often teaming with kids older than her, and maxing out her rec league time to the point she had to be pulled from games due to league rules. Paige hated it. She’d cry on the bench, begging to be put back in, because all she wanted was to play more basketball. Off the court people remember her as reserved, shy, but the sport lit a spark in her.

Playing in a rec league wasn’t enough. She needed to be around basketball more, so Bueckers began tagging along with a friend to his basketball practice. It didn’t matter that she was hesitant to put herself out there — any kid would be when put into a social situation where they don’t know if they’ll fit in. Learning more about basketball and being close to the game eclipsed any awkwardness. Paige watched from the sidelines as kids ran drills on the court, and it was too intoxicating to resist. She began running them on her own, mimicking what she was watching. Soon watching wasn’t enough. The once-shy girl was pushing her way onto the court, taking part in the drills. Sometimes she’d finish practice with her rec league team, run to the other practice, and take part in that one too. Desperate to get her reps in.

Jalen Suggs fell in love with basketball from a young age. His dad remembers him as a toddler, tossing shots into a Fisher Price hoop, standing behind a line his dad drew on the floor. At an age most kids have attention spans measuring seconds, Jalen would just keep shooting, over, and over, and over again. It was his favorite thing to do, and this love of the game never waned.

The boy never stopped loving basketball. He’d practice at home on the small hoop, and when he outgrew that began playing in rec leagues. When he was 10 years old he arrived at practice and began running drills on the court before noticing a blond haired girl he hadn’t met before running drills by herself, eventually diving in and practicing with his team. It was at that gym that Jalen Suggs and Paige Buecker first met, and immediately became friends — basketball being the common thread that linked them together.

It’s almost impossible to keep in touch with people you meet in grade school. We all change, evolve, and just tend to have those one-fast friends dissolve into fond memories. This wasn’t the case for Suggs and Bueckers. Their bond was always basketball, and it was impossible to break.

Even as league structure dictated they couldn’t formally play together, there was no stopping the duo from having a healthy rivalry. The Suggs and Bueckers families bonded as their children did, having family gatherings and cookouts, Jalen and Paige wolfing down burgers and brats with speed, just so they could get back to the court and play more one-on-one. Brought together by basketball, Suggs and Bueckers became the closest of friends.

Their friendship endured. Even though Suggs and Bueckers didn’t get to spend as much time together with the pressures of their high school careers mounting, they’d often meet at AAU tournaments to give each other pep talks, watch each other’s games, and play fierce games of five-on-five, Suggs’ team vs. Bueckers’ — organized by the two players.

“Just amazing stuff: back and forth, trash talk on both sides,” said Tara Starks, the coach of Bueckers’s Metro Stars AAU team, whose idea it was to invite Suggs’s boys team to scrimmage her girls ahead of the July championship tournament. “Paige would knock down a shot and talk a little trash. Jalen would come down and dunk. They would always go after us hard — running through the middle of the lane and dunking and talking trash. No letup at all. But it would push our girls and get them ready to play.”

The two players defined high school sports in Minnesota while they were playing. Suggs was a Gatorade Minnesota Player of the Year in football and basketball at Minnehaha Academy in Minneapolis, Bueckers won three Gatorade Minnesota Player of the Year awards at Hopkins High School in Minnetonka. A 20 minute cross town drive separated the duo, but the results were identical: Both were dominating.

College drove them apart. Suggs was heavily recruited from across the country, but eventually settled on becoming the highest ranked player to attend Gonzaga, choosing the Pacific Northwest over Florida, Florida State, Iowa State and local Minnesota. Bueckers was so highly coveted that teams began offering her scholarships from the age of 14, ultimately picking to join UConn and become the next great in the program’s astounding history.

A 22-minute drive became 2,700 miles as the two friends began their college careers, but they never lost touch. Avidly following each other from across the country, Suggs and Beuckers followed each other’s games, called each other after big performances and held each other accountable in bad performances to ensure they’d reach their full potential.

Now that potential has been reached. Suggs and Bueckers are in the Final Four, leading their teams in hopes of cutting down the nets at the end. While their primary concern is taking Gonzaga and UConn to victory, they spend their remaining free time catching each other’s games and facetiming each other. In fact, this influence is so great that Suggs credited Bueckers for being a key part of his success in the tournament.

“I texted her after, and we FaceTimed and talked for a little bit,” Suggs continued. “Last night, she said some things that really helped me. I’ve been kind of struggling, trying to get my footing in these tournament games. Of course, seeing her go out there and play great like she did and then talking afterwards, she kind of said some words, it kind of got me uplifted. It got me going. Definitely helped tonight. ... She’s the GOAT for a reason.”

Regardless of what happens from here out, the friendship fostered in Minnesota between two basketball-loving kids has turned them into stars. Suggs is expected to be taken the top five picks of the NBA draft this summer, while Bueckers will have to wait until 2023 or 2024 to enter the WNBA, but will unquestionably be the favorite to be the No. 1 pick when she enters.

There’s no doubt they’ll keep supporting each other in the pros too, ensuring these friends will make each other better for the rest of their careers.

[natsubeatsrock]

The Rewrite of Fairy Tail: Part 25 (Ultear)

Was Last Ages a good idea?

Part of me wants to say that the answer is yes considering Opening 16 having my favorite visuals of any Fairy Tail opening. The clock twitch at the start is one of my personal favorite aspects of the opening and it wouldn't be there if Last Ages didn't happen.

Of course, pedantic issues like that aren't enough to blind me to the weight of what I'm advocating. Ultear is one of my favorite characters in the series. I wouldn't suggest essentially writing out one of my favorites if it didn't need to happen. 

But that's just it. Did it need to happen? (Don’t worry, we’ll get to talk about Ultear as a character.)

A good place to start is its place in the Grand Magic Games arc. The reason it needed to happen, as the story goes, is that multiple people need to be saved from situations and the difference of one minute, while also remembering what happened in the alternate minute, was enough to save the lives of multiple people. Most notably, Lucy was able to avoid being killed and Gray wasn't impaled by multiple dragons. It's framed as a sacrifice that caused other people to live.

At the risk of sounding callous, I'm not sure this was really all that much of a concern. For all the people who did get affected by the spell Last Ages, there is one important person who wasn't: Natsu. As sad as it might be to consider our favorite characters dying it wasn't like their actions stopped the Eclipse Gate even after Last Ages. Lucy knew how to stop the Gate, but she didn't destroy it. Neither did Gray, Juvia, Lyon, Meredy, Baccus, Romeo, Macao, Wakaba, Cobra, Gajeel, Wendy, Laxus, or anyone else whose name isn't Natsu Dragneel. It would have been tragic, but the result would have been similar. (An interesting "what if" scenario I may or may not consider.)

And consider the scale of the event in the arc. The entire world was set back by one minute. It's described as innocuous enough that it was barely noticed by most people. Of course, this is juxtaposed with how important it meant to the actual people at the moment. However, consider what that means for the majority of people in the universe. Ultear could have done nothing and it would have as much of an effect for the people within the series universe.

This is, of course, not to say that Ultear's sacrifice didn't matter past Grand Magic Games. This is to say that the idea that this sacrifice changed a lot isn't as true as Mashima would have us believe and that there might not have been much of a need to have Ultear get basically written out of the series.

After using Last Ages, Ultear becomes a part of the time stream, showing up at times when it gets messed up. (At least, that's the explanation I'm going with.) She makes two as her younger self in this form. We obviously need to talk about (read: you're going to read my interpretation of) these moments. But, I want to start with the second moment first and you'll see why.

The second meeting was Ultear's appearance during Wendy and Chelia's fight with DiMaria. Now, there are issues with their interaction in regards to the Third Origin, but that's for other reasons. This wouldn't necessarily be impossible if Last Ages didn't happen. After all, she's doing this in conjunction with the rest of Crime Sorciere. The only reason this comes off as shocking is exactly what she went through Last Ages. As long as they show up and Ultear remains a member, there's no reason for she shouldn't be in the fight. Heck, we may have gotten interactions between her and Gray.

And, with that totally non-bitter transition (I'm actually okay with that), let's talk about the meeting between Gray and Ultear during the Sun Village arc. This is part of a trend wherein Ultear, either implicitly or explicitly, serves as a reminder for the fact that you shouldn't sacrifice your life to save other people, even if you love them. Her sacrifice reminds Gray that he ought to continue living on for other people.

But, and I again recognize this does sound callous, that's stupid.

I mean, it's exactly the kind of message he ought to keep with him, especially in those moments. But, I'm not sure that this is a point that ought to be beating in the ground as much as it was, especially to the point it was in the way it was. In Gray's specific context, it makes symbolic sense that he is saved by her. But, shouldn't Gray already know that from as far back after Galuna Island?

It could be argued that Gray needs to have these lessons reinforced multiple times through his journey as they clearly haven’t sunken in. To a degree, I understand that as a realistic portrayal of depression. But, what happened to “I will seal your darkness away”? Isn’t it possible to have him remember that instead of Ultear sacrificing herself?

And that gets to another thing. What does this mean for Ultear's character? Much of the reason that she's willing to do this at all is that she believes that she is a terrible person at heart and can't make up for what she's done over the years. Therefore, she wants to use her life force to help other people's lives.

I don't think that is in and of itself a terrible motivation for an action like this from a reformed villain who thinks the way Ultear seemed to. I don't even think that she's entirely wrong to think so, considering she wanted to kill present Rogue to stop future Rogue. I could even understand our hypothetical character going through with his or her choice and going on to save a large number of lives, as Last Ages does.

However, this is a Mashima villain. He's stated in the past that he likes to make villains that are more than just evil. While we can talk about how he did with that goal, this feels like something uncharacteristic of his villains. 

And even if he wasn't open about his penchant to redeem villains, we'd absolutely know something is up. Jellal was in a similar spot during Nirvana - ashamed of his existence and ready to die - but he ended up being a better (not sure good is the right word) person. Meredy was convinced to become good and even was part of the reason Ultear started to want to change. Flare changes during the Grand Magic Games arc into Sun Village arc. Sabertooth becomes a good guild (not that they should have been evil anyway). A lot of Alvarez Empire arc involves Brandish's struggle of doing good and/or evil and Irene realizes she actually loved Erza before stabbing herself. Oracion Seis joins Jellal in Crime Sorciere (under duress).

In a sense, Last Ages is Mashima's way of saying, "This one's staying evil. They can't change." In another series with another writer, that wouldn't be annoying. With Fairy Tail, this is clearly purposeful. My job isn't necessarily to speculate as to why, but I can't think why that would make sense to him except that it makes the parallel to Ur for Gray. In a world where she doesn't come back to relevancy in the final arc, I might be to accept that as fine. Considering she did come back and that the continued relevance of Crime Sorciere past the Grand Magic Games, it’s not as if I can’t do things with her character if she were to stay alive.

Therefore, I'm actually going against canon in this regard. In the rewrite, Ultear wants to go through with the spell Last Ages but is prevented from doing so. (I’m debating who stops her.) With this, Ultear continues to be an active character during the series. What the circumstances are surrounding her not going through with it and what she does now that she's a part of the series are topics worth talking about. However, I'd like to save those for another time.

For now, though, I feel that it's worth mentioning is that not every villain has to be saved or redeemed. I'm not here to argue that every villain is equally deserving of a second chance, even though I absolutely believe such to be true on some level. Some villains will and should stay evil until the end. But if Jellal is going to struggle to do the right thing, I think Ultear should try to as well.

Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18  | Part 19  | Part 20  | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24