#<- making a tag for it since ill probably do more stuff like this in the future
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on
#dragon#myart#creature#I still generally have inspiration for the first one so that one will probably get finished first#I really like watching the speedpaints procreate automatically records even though it’s crunchy and has a weird green tint#specifically on realism because it’s wild for anything else and is actually psychotic#Mostly because I just suddenly start experimenting with brushes and start turning layers off and on for a good chunk of it#I use 3 layers usually for realism#One for the actual drawing one for the sketch and one for a base color#It makes it better I think because it’s more similar to actual painting or something#That might not be the reason I dont really know#It’s just better I do it that way#Maybe because I can’t get distracted and lost?#Realism is also a great source of learning for me#Even if i never really finish stuff like this#I might this time though who knows#Sorry for leaving you guys stranded I’m chasing a really big train across the country#My priorities are with locomotives#“You guys” (I say to my very few followers 🤑🤑 (that probably followed me in the first place for dragon adventures stuff))#I do what I want and what I want is not dragon adventures right now#Right now I want locomotive#I’m not hijacking that train it sounds like I’m going to hijack that train#however#i would appreciate owning a big train I feel like I would enjoy that#Side note how do my DA followers feel about the genetic traits in the event eggs making motorouk w/ the error trait worth like 100mil#I feel ill when I can recite all of the full species names from memory#It does make sense though I’ve been playing since the first event in 2019#I’m committed what can I say#Almost forgot a tag oops#art
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hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents#negativity#negative#death wish#lmao#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every#day etc but like#what else am i supposed to do#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever#idk how to tag lmai#using stuff like#tw suicidality#tw suicidal#tw suicidal ideation#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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✨
#aaugh putting this in tags because im shy but. little reminder that i will answer asks/questions about what the hell im on about in my#isat drawings and the rambles i leave in the tags. i am however like a vampire in that i must be invited to do so first#this ALSO counts for Nohats. Theres a bunch of nohats stuff that hasnt been posted abt bc sam and i have no idea how to execute on it but#yeah im not. used to being in active fanbases so i feel rude just yellin about AUs and headcanons!!! augh!!! but i want to make it#very clear that i very expressly make fanworks with the intent that other people can chew on them and build upon them. so. if i look like#i have more info or thoughts and youd want them. youll probably have to ask since just putting it out there feels presumptive to meee yowch#ill also just answer asks in general . the only reason i dont appear talkative is bc i dont wanna look presumptive and rude LOL#lucabytetalks
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#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital#to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of#course#when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep#up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not#I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so#I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes#like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought#to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly#call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol#I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something#since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky#just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi#ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos#that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will#just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only#has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly#than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it#anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol#If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free#ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled#. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..
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Timestamps for events in the Baconnwaffles0 "How to beat Gods" stream on 3/29
This is not comprehensive of all events in the Baconnwaffles0 stream, however if you missed it, or are trying to rewatch specific events, it is a good place to begin figuring out which parts of the vod to check. Hope it helps!
The first event of the stream is a meeting comprised of Roshambo, Mapic, Baconwaffles, Planetlord, Jaron, and Zam. Various players hang out in call for a while. All of them are in call 18 minutes into the stream, and the actual meeting starts 27 minutes into the stream.
47 minutes into the stream, while they are still in the meeting, Spoke begins messing with them ingame. Spoke joins their call 51 minutes into the stream.
spoke leaves call about 1:06-7 mins in. Mapic and Ro leave at 1:12
Bacon, Jaron, Planet, and Zam continue to plan.
1:22 Mapic whispers to Bacon: Me and ro would love to help but were not getting banned for no reason, if you can convince us this wiull work than u have a deal
THE SECRET. the real reason Zam left eclipse(The End was a cover-up) The reason Solar Union thinks they have hope. In my opinion, one of the most important parts of the stream.
They first discuss revealing the secret at 1:25. They start heading over to the location at 1:29. They arrive and begin telling the story at 1:35.
1:38 Jaron makes a mistake and alerts spoke to their location
1:51 Spoke is approaching their location, his outer layer is visible now.
1:52 Spoke appears on screen, and joins the call. he is here to be silly and spread misinformation
Vitalasy joins the game at 2:04. He talks through ingame chat for a bit, before they call him at 2:05.
The call is now Bacon, Jaron, Planet, Zam, Spoke, and Vitalasy.
Vitalasy arrives at spawn fully godmode at 2:09
at 2:10 vitalasy menacingly approaches zam and zam is Afraid. after several long second of vitalasy slowly walking towards zam and zam slowly backing away, vitalasy pops zams totem in a single punch. vitalasy throws zam some totems and experience bottles. he is soooo calm right now.
2:11 Spoke uses one of the death potions to teleport vitalasy away! also mapic is back in call.
2:12/13 vitalasy is back!
2:14 ro is back in call
2:15 new call just bacon vitalasy zam planet and jaron. discusion time!
Vitalasy leaves at 3:03
bacon ends very soon after.
#WOW no idea what possessed me to do this. combined powers of adhd and autism i suppose#lifesteal smp#baconnwaffles0#solar union#princezam#<- also tagging him since the big secret is very relevant to him#lifesteal recap/timestamps#<- making a tag for it since ill probably do more stuff like this in the future
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have been doing weekly-ish mini arm workouts (15 mins of going between 30 seconds of working out and 30 seconds of rest) for probably like six ish months? its felt good the last few months but today for the first time it just Felt Awesome to be doing it and i had so much energyy ahhh its so fun to notice it paying off!!!
#not star trek#talk tag#like today it just felt fun doing it!!! i hope i can start building it up a little more and do more stuff with this feeling of momentum#and its weird because the main thing i care about is How It Feels#ive been building arm muscle consistently since starting t without even doing anything so it being an intentional thing doesnt like#make any difference to me because it would probably be happening anyway#but FEELING MORE ENERGETIC? yeah ill take that. that fucking rules
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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Blog(ger) Shift
I am, so weird and bad about original posting and about reblogging and about saving things on Tumblr and that's why my blog has been mostly inactive or the lurking consumer type. But I don't want my fears about putting myself out there, being seen and known, articulating myself well vs. having been told my whole life I'm too wordy and opinionated vs. not managing to articulate myself well enough to justify being verbose and passionate, etc. to continue to control me so much.
So for my new specific-interest sideblog that I'm not locking, I hope it being themed will help me with making more original posts and reblogging, and I'm publicizing that here to push myself and also welcome interaction.
RIP to my other public specific-interest sideblog and the fandom sideblog I took over for someone that I didn't take further and to my private sideblogs that were meant to make me reblog and save and say stuff because they would be personal and just for me. I still would like to make those happen and reblogging and posting things that matter to me here, and oh my heart for the content ideas I haven't been working on, but they're pipedreams with how I'm (not) managing my life and I keep kicking those cans down the road.
To the person who I developed a real relationship with as a beta but who by now I probably count as having disappeared on with how long it's been and my not coming back to explicitly say I still can't help and don't know when I can, I am so sorry. I'm being a coward languishing in hoping I can tell you soon that I can get back into beta-ing for you and talking, but that's turned into me not talking to you because I'm waiting to be able to say something positive. Hopefully my vaguing here can help push me into talking to you, or at least this is here for you to read if you happen to see it; and I want you to know you absolutely can talk to me, can call me out, and if you're so gracious as to still want to be friends with me and just chat despite my dropping being your beta, I'm here for you and still want to be your friend even if I don't know if I'll have the spoons to be a good one and I know my saying that preemptively isn't apology or justification enough.
Honest assessment, I'm going to curse and say my living situation and work have both become even more of a shitshow, and with those things in mind I can't begin to imagine handling a real project until basically literally a year from now.
Which segues back into the main topic of this post. My goal isn't to have my new sideblog be like an active mainblog nor to abandon this blog—people interested in that blog can and should still interact with me here given how primary vs. secondary blogs on Tumblr work, and in terms of using that blog to help make me be a better Tumblr user, I think I should make certain original posts here and reblog them there as opposed to them being original there. With my mental-emotional and time resources, I want that blog to be "active" for a given definition of active, but really I think I should see my objective as "clear out tabs and likes and photos and lists and notes and drafts, etc. from the last four months" by saving stuff there, as opposed to my goal being the original posts I want to make there, and actually my long-term goal should be to use that momentum to do the same for older digital and physical storage that hasn't been lost or stolen. In my failure to be an interesting person, do I at least manage to be fascinating as a basket-case? Ha. But, also, as expressed above the Read More, the exercise of my danmei/Chinese sideblog is supposed to be a foray into me allowing myself to be an interesting person.
#my stuff#Ok I think there were just the two posts so far to be reblogged from here to my side blog#At this point I think I can determine the amount of “me/original” put into them warrants the My Stuff tag per how I think I meant to use it#But I'm not adding the tag to those posts and am instead letting people know they should check my sideblog and the Main tag there#which actually means search for Main because I think not everything will show up since Tumblr only organizes by the first five tags?#how long have I mistakenly thought only the first five tags showed in the Tumblr-wide tags but that the others would still work on blogs oo#and probably danmei related posts will be original on the sideblog and Chinese related posts will be related here#Now back to the tags from before I went over those two posts#lol at my private blogs that have drafts but nothing posted or reblogged#I stand by my aesthetics designing all of these though#will have to do some thinking on headers and icons and blog titles/descriptions if I end up getting to the point of#clearing up and saving stuff for interests I didn't already make sideblogs for#And it's funny (sad) that for the fandom that I thought would be lasting for me personally and for fandom as a whole and I made an ao3feed#blog for given that and not realizing someone else already had after ao3feeds broke and because of my thoughts on how to organize for Tumbl#I'll still be interested for beta-ing for my friend and in my content ideas that will probably never see fruition#but I feel less than for any other fandom like I will want to go back and reread and I think that some ill feelings from this fandom must'v#affected me more than I thought. Hopefully things are more positive though because while I'm not feeling so much thinking about my fav fic#when I cast my mind about for other good writing and beautiful stories I do feel more urge and drive to reread#Hopefully it's that I still love that fic but am fatigued on the rereads I've already given it but I still have the spark of love for the#fandom and perspective will help me focus back on fondness for the community especially remembering that higher level of and more#contemporary involvement were why I could reach the threshold of having more negative experiences
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OF COURSE IT'S A ASPIE!
always the aspies smh.
(no offence to the good aspies)
when will they SHUT the fuck up, blah blah blah "I don't need door delivery services bc I'm ablebodied" shut the fuck up you do not represent the entire autism spectrum so shut the hell up.
by hell do I need it, by hell do alot of us need it.
it's called autism spectrum disorder for a REASON, even though you reject that label.
I can't drive! I actually have adhd and autism in the mixture that makes it extremely hard for me to organise anything because if something slightly doesn't go to plan I meltdown and can't do anything that whole day and everything is wasted.
and I also forget the whole plan and then end up starving bc I forgot to get groceries because it was that overwhelming so I end up fucking starving!!!!
like, I'm happy your either medicated or something.
but that's not all of us that will never be all of us.
it's really fucking mean to assume those things about people.
UGYAHJSKDFHJCGHKGUFSJCGGUOWGFIYCGJYFILTYFKUTXFHFYGLU
the doordash "discourse" on X is so very telling about what able-bodied or even some disabled leftists think of those with less ability than them.
i think we should start killing y'all with hammers.
#lmao this person (in the screenshot) should be forced to drive me to all my appointments then if they’re so good at everything#I take the bus everywhere even tho I could legally drive because my meds make me a fucking zombie and I have paralysis#not only is the bus my only choice it’s the responsible thing to do#same with ordering groceries. I can’t carry all my groceries on the BUS#I can’t even carry a single bag half the time#I hate people like this just say you hate disabled ppl and shut da hell up#<PREV TAGS#beloved peeper I was in leftist spaces when I was younger super into online leftist spaces since I had no autonomy to go places still don't#and my god. I as someone who briefly talked about how my severe asthma and like other autism/mental illness symptoms it-#made them BALLISTIC! years of dealing with random able bodied people telling me I was not disabled. I wasn't “bad enough” to be disabled-#and saying I was contributing to autism hatred bc I had not savoury autism symptoms and actually I take no shit anymore bc of it??#like. to this day I don't know why I. stayed so long. cripplepunk/madpunk you guys have literally changed my life.#fucking ableists. telling ME who's been hospitalised MULTIPLE TIMES who has AN ACTUAL FUCKING DISABLITY that I'm a faker and taking away-#resources from disabled people. I AM DISABLED PEOPLE fucking Idiots!!! I shouldn't have to explain that I can up and die bc my lungs are-#built wrong. but hey all the things ppl know about asthma is that it's the nerd disorder they probably think it's not even real.#people are awful. cripplepunk has been infinitely more accepting and not told me I'm a waste of space faker who should go die <3#like thanks cripplepunk for being the only kind people. love you all so fucking much you have changed my life and I'll never forget that#-pop#activism stuff#disablity#actually disabled
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i wanted to draw something different today soooo. i went n scrounged up a buncha pokepastas that ive read/pokepasta ocs ive seen around recently (mostly via mutuals)! ill tag creators and link sources under the cut, and ramble a little abt my thoughts... ^^
if anyone wants me to untag or remove their stuff from this btw let me know i didnt ask i kinda just. started doodling.
also half of yall i either never followed or only Just did i need 2 remedy that. ive been observing yalls stuff from a distance i keep forgetting to Press the Fucking Button is all
Your Friend Silver (Elias) by @uuberwachen ! this was such an INSANELYYY well written story and it stuck with me for DAYS. it really slots in the space in my mind that holds the classics and the twists and stuff with it genuinely got me. i cant recommend it enough if anyone who sees it hasnt read it yet. i got so excited when i saw a dedicated ask blog went up. i wish i werent scared of sending in questions to those things
Pixel Blue: 3DS VIRTUAL CONSOLE (2016) by @calybunz ! ahhh this was such a cool one to read! id see updates on it incidentally n i can tell a lot of work went into it- it was definitely worth it! its well written with a lot of heart.. maybe im just a sucker for stories that focus on a sympathetic blue.. the ending made me so SAD dude what the fuck. though my favorite parts were probably the dream sequences- godd the imagery of it all was fantastic!
Nuzlight (Mia) at @nuzlight-mia ! this is one i dont know much about yet, but her personality and design really captivated me when i first saw her! she seems like such a sweetheart and i look forward to getting to see more of her :3 i feel so bad for her situation.. the story n concept are all so interesting!
Missing Numbers (Green) at @themissingnumbers ... is our thing but green is hells (@hells1nfern0 ) dude that i have no sway in so. whatever. im unwell about him im excited for more to be revealed abt him :] i cant really say more than that since i know his secrets
FIRE RED FREE DOWNLOAD (Infected/Abandoned RED) by @aibouart ... another one i saw the design of first and was just IMMEDIATELY struck by. i love when stories twist in-universe things that're generally treated as normal and mundane and use its horror potential! a parasect parasite outbreak where the protagonist gets infected by that and ends up full of mushrooms...? thats the kinda shit i love to see >:)
Jack by @sparklingdemon ! cool ass design ive been wanting to draw and a cool concept to go with- the creepyblack protagonist as a grinning-reaper type where the ghost is an extension of him rules. i also loveee when designs utilize the fossil missingno stuff!! kabutops's arms lend themselves REALLY well to being a scythe
Glitchy Red: Retold by @lycankeyy / @glitchyred (idk which blog youd rather have tagged sorry). so i saw this when the official ao3 repost went up or got mentioned or something and it. really. resonated with me. like its hard to put my thoughts into coherent words, other than i had to just. Lay Down for the rest of the night after reading it and just feel whatever emotions struck me. it cut really deep but honestly- that's just fantastic. it's not often that i read something that makes me feel as viscerally as this rewrite did, and i have nothing but adoration for it because of that (we do have the plural bias which doesnt help regarding this lol). in my mind this is the definitive version of glitchy red.
Sanctuary AU (Aster) by @possiblyfunny . ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER NOTE i fucking love aster more than i can put into words. given we get tagged in almost every piece of him that goes up its always such a delight to see and learn more about him! id been planning to draw him for months at this point but only just got around to it haha -v-" i look forward to seeing more abt the sanctuary au! please continue to tag me in those posts idc if it includes my guys or not i just care so much abt it
#pokepasta#idk how to even. tag this. fuck#your friend silver#pixel blue#nuzlight#missing numbers#abandoned red#infected red#trainer jack#glitchy red#glitchy red retold#id tag sanctuary but i dont think it has any official tags....#anyways i hope this is good anjdnjlkds. ive been itching to draw like all of these so i just. cranked em all out onto one canvas#WAIT SHIT TRIGGER TAGS thats important#body horror#scopophobia#trypophobia#a little funny how both of the guys who need those warnings ended up in the same spot that was not on purpose.#edit I FORGOT RETOLD REDS PIXELS FUUUUUUUCK#edit2 its ok nobody saw i think
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Ahem… Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3!!
Ok- there we go!
HELLO INTERNET! It’s Fan here- though I mean I’m sure you’ve heard of someone as- uh, as cool as me with being on the ever popular show Inanimate Insanity!
I’m here to talk to YOU guys!! It’s like, yknow, a fun little chatting place for me down in my hideout! And, well, I mean I’m sure you could ask my fellow contestants also!
I’ll catch up with you all later! But please go ahead and send any and all asks you’d like! It’s like my own special interview..!
Ok, ok, ok, bye now. Where’s the off button on this thi-
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
//Hello!! Mod Whippy Creamy here coming at you with a hit new askblog!!
I’ve had this AU idea in my head for a while, but I’m just now finally doing something with it.
It is a pretty standard roleswap AU, but just to clarify some things:
This is NOT a personality swap. Characters may differ in their personalities, but any changes to personality are done only so the character can plausibly fit the “role” they’ve been swapped into.
Only the contestants have swapped roles! Outside characters like Cobs and Meeple products such as Mephone4 and Mepad have also not changed roles.
[UPDATE: ASKS TEMPORARILY CLOSED!!] Currently, every season 1-2 contestant is open to asks! Roleswap list here
Mod information and Tagging key below the cut:
MOD WHIPPY CREAMY:
“Heya! Mod Whippy Creamy here. Once again. I’m the creator of this AU, but I have enlisted the help of my very talented friends to make this silly little askblog become a reality! I use any pronouns!!
I will do my best to include little doodles in every ask that I possibly can, at the least. If you’d like to check out my main blog, go look at @aricatastrophe! Have fun, and enjoy the ride ;)”
MOD SKETCHPAD:
“HIIIII ^_^ im mod sketchpad and youll NEVER KNOW WHO I AM HAHAHAHAHHAHAH anyway i use it/any pronounce and im here to vibe . ill probably be drawing a bit for funsies but we'll see ^_^ . peace out ( ╹▽╹ )"
MOD TELESCOPE:
“HEYY IT’S ME MOD TELESCOPE!! Any/all pronouns are good for me, ill include doodles whenever i can and more high quality art for important stuff :D my main blog’s @gillionspookstrider and i shall see you on the flipside!”
MOD JOURNAL:
“hiii!!! i'm mod journal. it/it's pronouns. i'm mostly just here to have fun!! my posts will all be text posts since i cannot draw at all LMAO !!! i'm so good at introducing myself”
MOD COMPASS:
"Hi there! I'm mod Compass and I use it/its and they/them pronouns! Not much to say about me except that I am here for fun and I will absolutely draw as many of my responses as time will allow >:D"
TAGS:
#iirs - general AU tag!
#iirs fanart - FANART TAG?! if you make fanart PLEASE tag us thatd be so so cool
#mod[name] - designating which mod made the post!
#ooc - For posts not talking in character
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PINNED!!!!
Headcanon submissions are currently closed.
other things are alright tho just no headcanons since i rlly need to clean up the inbox kndlsjd
hi! i thought a blog like this would be fun. i was inspired by @/projectsekaitakes.
layout by @vividly-idol-archives here
blog run by @vbs-kaitos-big-naturals
you can submit through asks!
(apologies in advance if i ever misinterpret something you tell me, im either distracted or very tired while queueing thingswww. you can tell me in asks or messages if i get something wrong!)
Rules:
You are not allowed to have more than 5 headcanons in the queue. dont feel too stressed or guilty about this, its not really a big deal. if you lose track, just wait about a day and you should be fine.
You are not allowed to complain or hate on the headcanons in the replies or reblogs. you are, however, allowed to give your own.
I. e., "Honami can't stand the smell of car exhaust." can have people in the replies saying, "i always thought she would hate the smell of lemons"
You are not allowed to submit headcanons exclusively about gender/sexuality/romanticism. those can get oversaturated really quickly, so to avoid it ive decided to not allow them, sorry. you can send shit like "akito is a little whore slut babygirl" and I'll probably post that since it doesnt really have to do with actual identity or orientation.
Don't misgender Mizuki or erase her representation.
No sexual headcanons. sorry! I'm okay with that stuff, but im also aware that many people aren't so let's not do that here! again, more jokey submissions are okay (read: akito is a little whore slut babygirl) since that isnt really explicit but I'd rather not do anything past that.
No asks that perpetuate harmful stereotypes.
No use of the word "Latinx". you can use latine or latino instead!
AU headcanons are allowed! in fact, i would love them! all i ask is you make a lil note about it before the actual headcanon so people have Context
please notify me if i don't tag something correctly! I'll try to add trigger warnings for everything but i might make mistakes!
if a hc includes a ship, I'll tag that ship. i may tag a group of two or more characters that dont have a name (i.e. shinonome siblings, white day trio, etc.) with "[ship name] hc" (looks at akian) but ill only tag things with the actual ship tag if the characters are explicitly stated to be something other than friends
if submissions get repetitive or follow the same topic/character a lot, i wont queue them and wait until it dies down to put it in the queue. i won't ever delete an ask unless it breaks a rule above!
in the tags of the post, i, blog runner, will share my thoughts on the headcanon. i wont be negative, i promise!
[note: the tag for kohane headcanons is #kohampster hc]
most of all, have fun! that's what fandom is about!
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as promised: jess' les amis fanfic rec list ✨
this is mainly e/r, a little bit of e/r/c and a few courferre
This is just the stuff that was in my bookmarks on ao3 when I started writing this post (months ago lol sorry it took so long). Going through I was shocked to see so many of my faves weren't actually bookmarked so I will for sure do a part two when I find them again, and have also added heaps of new fics to my bookmarks since then, but for now 25 fics is enough 😂
many of these will be rated E and will have sexual content, some are straight up pwp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ok first is my ultimate fave that isn't even on ao3 anymore, but thankfully is on the authors tumblr, and that's:
Gnomon by luchia
50-80k words (?) (bc it's not on ao3 i'm estimating)
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
terrorist/assassin Enjolras my beloved ever. My fave are the "charming young man capable of being terrible" fics obviously. This one is my #1 e/r like in my head this is it's own canon. & this series has my fave e/r smut scenes ever. I still daydream about a Gnomon tv show...
- trigger warnings bc it's not on ao3 so doesn't have tags: murder, gun and knife violence, bombs, conversations about the deaths of children. this is not healthy relationship fluff but it makes for a 🥵 dynamic that's for damn sure.
also linking the rest of the series which is up on ao3 still, even though it is officially abandoned and unfinished - i am going to break my ultimate rule right off the bat and link an unfinished series bc I like it so much.
stupid terrorist boys by luchia
series, 5 works
200k words
rating: M and E
here we have gnomon's prequels, two sequels, and some one shots in between 🫶🏻
if you're here for kinky pwp Senselessly Happy and Unsuspecting could be good stand-alone (but it's better when reading in order). I would say read Gnomon first on tumblr then read the rest in order on ao3.
Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell
50k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
Enjolras is cursed for speaking out against the gods, Grantaire is there for him.
will I ever shut up about this fic? Never. fave fave fave. the world building, the mythological/religious system, the writing, the "I love you" "I don't think you do, actually" scene URGH!!!! I think of this fic every time i hear chopsticks. Everything happening with courf/marius/cosette, and the genius inclusion of social worker Fantine my beloved. This is one of those "could be it's own novel" fics.
and the sequel from Enjolras' pov 😭 - Left Unsaid
World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile
185k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes it's the top fic yes everyone probably knows it but it's good for a reason. THE fake dating high school au fic that I broke all my rules for back in 2015. I refused to read unfinished fics, let alone T rated high school fics, yet I remember waiting for the updates for this one as it came out, messaging mutuals on the day the last chapter was released. and every time I reread I remember why. Brilliantly written, the pining, the angst, the miscommunications. All the Joly and Bossuet scenes.
honourable mention to the scene where Joly is so excited for the battle of the bands, then next scene starts with "I think it's more of a sitting night today" the realest simple yet most gut punching illustration of chronic pain that gets my ass every time.
Lovesickness by idiopathicsmile
11k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire, Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta
(we're gonna see a fair bit of idiopathicsmile on here)
this is one of my absolute favourites. not only bc I quote "hit by a truck full of shirts" all the time. a Joly pov fic!!!!!! my beloved!!!!! I'm a BIG JBM fan (they are essential to me when I'm writing grantaire) and love fics that stay true to his friendship with Joly and Bossuet. also I love when Enjolras is a giant dumbass who thinks his feelings for Grantaire is a mystery illness 😂
Still the Same by The Librarina (tears_of_nienna)
74k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
ok ok ok. listen. Yes. in this fic, Enjolras IS an fbi agent... and u know i'm the first and last to scream acab always...
that being said this is fully still one of my fave e/r/c fics. Enjolras and Combeferre are married & Enjolras needs to work with art thief Grantaire (fave) on a case. also that one bit at the end when Grantaire *redacted* 👀🫣
cupbearer by illuminate*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
series, 4 works
124k words total
ratings: T, M & E
Enjolras/Grantaire
this series!!!!!! VAMPIRE ENJOLRAS!!!! thrall Grantaire!!!! canon era AND modern au! REINCARNATION!!!! i'm eeeeaaaaattiiiing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
More Than Just a Game by ecaitlin
36k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre
Fake dating courferre 😭 this one is so good for the desert scene alone 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 one of my fave courferre fics
Good Intentions by ecaitlin
95k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre, background Marius/Cosette, Joly/Bossuet, Bahorel/Feuilly, and Enjolras/Grantaire ofc
THE les amis hogwarts au. 95k of Courfeyrac pov is always a treat for the system. in their last year at hogwarts, Courfeyrac decides to play matchmaker for all his friends. shenanigans!!!! fuck jkr, but whenever I wanna reread harry potter again I read this fic 🫶🏻 fave courferre ever, and also fave background e/r
if you remembered me by nightswatch*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
one thing about me is I love an amnesia fic! Enjolras loses his memory and Grantaire helps him recover 👀 this one's for the hurt/comfort and miscommunication/not being upfront about shit fans. also there's some past Grantaire/Combeferre and i'm always a fan
Beautiful Music Together by lady_ragnell
31k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
a rare Courf/Marius/Cosette fic for your palette. established Marius/Cosette need a little help from their good friend Courf with their sex life 👀 while the three of them also work on a musical assignment together 😭 prequel to You Dance Dreams kinda 👀
You Dance Dreams by lady_ragnell
61k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
(you can tell when i've found a writer who has a fair few fics and just gone nuts lol, lots of lady_ragnell too)
BALLET AU I LOVE YOU!!!!!! so set in the same universe as Beautiful Music Together, Combeferre ropes everyone into working on his opera, a Midsummer Night's Dream sequel. Grantaire dances as Puck alongside Enjolras singing as Oberon 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
In Defiance of all Geometry by idopathicsmile
51k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
this is a top fave E/R/C fic and a top fave les amis fic of all time! Them living in a co-op and all the little details of how they make it work is sooooo real and anyone who wants to see accurately written community organising in les amis fic it's here! now for the ✨romance✨ - Grantaire moves in to the amis co-op and starts crushing on both Enjolras and Combeferre, who have both been pining for each other for years.
Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell
10k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Enjolras offers his spare room to grantaire - or the one where enjolras chases the sun across the living room floor like a cat. That image has lived rent free in my head for and I am not exaggerating here, 10 years.
Gonna need (a spark to ignite) by FinditAgain*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
47k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
soulmate au! soulmate au with E/R/C!!!!!!! enjolras and combeferre are soulmates who lost their bond as children. when combeferre and enjolras find each other as adults, enjolras is already in an established relationship with grantaire 👀👀👀
secret agent man by goshemily
30k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes another cop one haha 😭 bc if ur not able to contradict urself with the media u like are u even a person? but also I wouldn't recommend if it wasn't a good read for the stairs scene alone 😅 Enjolras and Grantaire need to go undercover as a married couple in a small town.
Leaves in the Void by myrmidryad
16k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this is one i've found since rejoining tumblr late last year that 😭 fully broke my heart bro 😭 space au, enjolras writes letters to everyone when he's accidentally isolated on a ship for what to him was eight and half months but was two hours for everyone else.
Blame Delicate Artemis by hyenateeth
22k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
posting omegaverse on main? more likely than you think!
this is porn with a tiny bit of plot, but also one of my fave for femslash e/r and also..... girl dick. that's all.
omega enjolras alpha grantaire canon era lesbians.
that's enough description to find its right audience I feel
Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by myrmidryad
94k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Grantaire runs into Enjolras at a kink club. enter 94,000 words of bdsm porn and pining. mostly dom Enjolras and submissive Grantaire, mostly.
Never Be Satisfied by torakowalski
15k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
dental dam mention! win!
Grantaire gives Enjolras some advice, lends some toys, and then offers some hands on help when she learns Enjolras has never come before 😏
potentially lovely, perpetually human by myrmidryad
20k words
not rated, does contain smut
Enjolras/Grantaire
lots of myrmidryad here too lol
two of my favourite tropes here. 1: supernatural Enjolras who's in control of his abilities except when it comes to Grantaire (see cupbearer series) and 2: nonbinary Grantaire my beloved!!! Enjolras has psychic empathy triggered by physical touch, so he refuses to touch anyone: until his touch starved ass accidentally touches Grantaire and feels what they're feeling 🥹
Witchboy by tothewillofthepeople
series, 8 works
84k words
rating: T, M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this one is a more recent recommendation that I loved, the world building and magic is so good, there's some great background eposette and patron minette which I'm always a fan of.
i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
amnesia fic and fake dating 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 this time we've got Grantaire losing his memories and waking up in a world where he has a really hot boyfriend, but apparently his 1.5 year relationship with Enjolras isn't what it seems 👀
and let's round this out with a classic
Thirty-Two Times by Ark
7k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
the bottom R canon era bible 🙏🏻
i'm sorry i feel like my emoji use is very millennial. jsyk 👌🏻 is me clicking with my nails ok bye 😘
if you want more i'm whorejolras on ao3 go nuts 🙌🏻
#mine#omg me actually doing something i said i'd do only like four months later look at that#adhd one hell of a drug yall#fic recs#fanfic#les mis fanfic#les amis fanfic#e/r#les mis#grantaire#enjolras#les amis#e/r/c#courferre#jbm#les miserables#why is my capitalisation all over the place?? uhh look over there 👈🏃♂️💨#sorry not tagging ppl on tumble even though i know the authors are bc adding the links was hassle enough and also i don't wanna bother any1
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THE 9TH MEMBER - CHAPTER 1
synopsis. nabi (aka you) has been training for just over 3 years and when you heard you were going to debut, you were super excited to meet your members. although, you were taken aback when you heard that your members were all boys.
pairing. female!reader x ateez!members | tags. the most tiniest angst ever, members angry, nothing else (i think) | genre. fluff | wc. 510+ | masterlist
author note. ahh my first ever series on this blog !! writing this was super fun and i loved all of it !! my mistakes for posting this really late, i recently got my dream job and have been focusing on it! do not worry, i will slowly make my return to writing soon <3
networks. @newworldnet @illusionnet @starlit-network
when you first got news of getting accepted into this new company, you couldn't believe your eyes. all this hard work and effort seemed like it was worth it after all.
"we have a slight problem." your manager says. uh oh. this is going to turn very bad.. "as you would've known we don't have much girl trainees here at the company and since we were aiming for a 5 member girl group, we've decided to do something you probably won't like."
"me!? in a boy group?! b-but, im a girl! wouldn't it be weird if a girl - who is not a boy - is in a boy group?" your face dropped at the sudden announcement. not being able to debut was probably a way better choice than having to debut with boys. "look, we know this came as a shocker but, its really beneficial for you!" your manager tries to say happily. "tomorrow, you'll be meeting the members. trust me, they're really nice!" the staff tries to say before you groan annoyed as you stormed off. "why am i debuting in a boy group? wouldn't i be hated at? wasn't it better if i just debut solo? why am i going to debut with random boys?!" you thought.
-
"what?! a girl?" hongjoong says in shock. over the last 5 years, it's always been just the 8 of the boys together. but now that nabi will debut with ateez, that means there'll be more pressure on hongjoong. from reproducing the songs to recording all of nabi's parts, he gets annoyed over this. "why are we having a girl in our group!? do you not understand the pressure ill be put under!? i have already worked long hours for us to come this far, wouldn't it just be a waste if we have to remake ALL our songs?" hongjoong angrily says. "calm down hongjoong, im sure she'll be a great addition to our group." seonghwa calmly says, trying to calm him down. "exactly! i think having a girl will be a great addition to the team plus, it'll be really good for you guys to have a new friend!" the manager says.
hongjoong sighs before accepting his fate. "fine, but if she isn't what you say she is, then im going to make her first day her last." he says before storming off. the members rub their forehead in devestation as the meeting room stays quiet. "well, how are we going to deal with a girl?" mingi says. "no idea, but we need to give it some time. if we rush her into doing stuff, she'll get uncomfortable and then we'll get in trouble." seonghwa adds on from mingi's statement. "plus, ive heard there were some trainees here who are snitches. hopefully she isn't one of them." wooyoung mentions. "well now that we're talking, you guys will meet her.. tomorrow!" the manager says. "TOMORROW!?" the guys say together. "yes yes, bit of a shocker but im sure you'll be fine!" the members sigh in annoyance before the manager leaves them, the room filling with silence again.
tagging : @taz-97
#ateez x reader#ateez comfort#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez fluff#ateez imagines#ateez seonghwa#ateez hongjoong#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#newworldnet#illusionnet#starlit-network#ateez the 9th member : series
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Before I Leave you (Pt.53)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: A snippet of the future- a flash forward- in which you and jimin reach an agreement.
Tags: Pleasure dom Jimin, pillow princess m/c, oral (f. receiving), fingering, pussy spanking, excessive squirting, knotting, Overstimulation, Dacryphilia, Breeding kink, Jimin gets a little mean once he tastes her slick, slick-drunk minnie, talks of safe words but no safeword usage, talks of gender and sex, murder, talking ill of the dead, assassin! jimin, implied autistic! jimin, Flash Forwards, intentionally vague moments, brief mention of mommy/daddy kink, brief talks of clothing control
W/c: 10.0k
A/N: please be patient with me regarding the rut chapter ie the chapter after this one! i’m visiting my brother next week in LA so!!! please recommend me some stuff to do in la! i’m hoping it’s going to be a restful trip but ngl…it’s not looking great…. i don’t like planning things that other people are going to potentially not enjoy 😠 i’m meant to be a passenger princess threw and threw
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
(Flash Forward, 6 days after Namjoon’s rut, Jimin)
Jimin lays out the plastic sheeting with a ripple. Making sure it covers most of the corners and the baseboards of the back room of the house. Taking more effort than usual not to be messy.
It would look normal to anyone else as you watch him work from the hallway. But you have a lurch in your stomach as Jimin fucks with the plastic, making sure it lies flat.
Jimin setting out plastic sheeting would look totally normal to you if you didn’t have an inkling of all the other times he’s probably done it. How many times has he watched blood and viscera soak plastic? How many times has he melted it after at high heat to destroy DNA evidence?
You watch him work, feeling like you’re witnessing something you shouldn’t.
But today, if you happen to have an accident and drip paint onto the floor, Yoongi will refinish them anyways. You’re just glad you’re not painting the sunroom red.
That's the plan for the day. Primer, paint rollers, the whole shebang. They litter the 10 x 10 room like fallen soldiers. At this point, you've helped Yoongi paint just about every room in the house. This will be the last one for a little while.
The sunroom at the end of the hall is the last unfinished room in the house. Mostly unused due to its decrepit aura until now. The space is sunlit in the afternoon light, no longer dampened by the old dirty windows.
Today is the first day since Namjoon’s rut that everyone’s been out of the house. It’s just you and Jimin here. The quiet feels overfull, like something is lingering overhead, a storm or a fever yet to break.
Jimin straightens when he sees you through the mottled windows- not quite frosted but ripply, like looking through water. Yoongi put the doors back on finally yesterday after the workmen left. Hobi and Jin helped him hold the doors in place while he put them back on their hinges and you and Tae and Jungkook cooked while Jimin and namjoon opened all the windows to rid the house of the smell of strangers.
He was mindful of the strangers, as had the rest of the pack been yesterday with no less than 5 of them here. Tae’s hand had been practically glued to your lower back, herding you towards a secluded corner in the library room for some cuddling and a nap. Yoongi had been worried about them possibly breaking his labour of love.
They’re similar to the door he put in for Tae’s library only this one is varying textures of mottled glass, most opaque, but some clear with white ribbons or rainbow films like bubbles.
Yesterday was a little bit hard for Namjoon especially with his post-rut pheromones already elevated. But the windows are finally done, and no more strangers need to set foot in your house for the foreseeable future, and that’s something.
It’s been a race against time. As the temperature begins to plummet the windows have finally been tended to, the drafty space transformed into a sunlit puddle that captures the afternoon light like a suncatcher. Hopefully, it will help the pack wait out the winter months and fend off any seasonal depression which more than a few packmates are prone to.
Yoongi doesn't like to name names but Tae and Hobi are vulnerable that way. Like stout magnolia trees and pink echinacea their happiness is prone to bouts of dormancy.
You wandered in here with Yoongi and Jin last night after dinner to talk colors. A glass in each of your hands full of Sweet pink wine, the kind that Tae likes. She would have joined you, had the pack alpha not pulled her and hobi and a dejectedly shy Jimin into some alpha bonding time upstairs.
“We can’t paint every room in this house varying shades of pink hyung, even if it’s for Tae.” The word sounds especially sweet on Yoongi’s tongue; Jin is the only one Yoongi can ever call ‘hyung’. A special sort of pet name between the two of them.
The pack omega had curled especially close to your mate with you happily sandwiched between them. Your fingers hooked into Yoongi's pocket and Jin's sleeve. He'd pressed his pink button mouth to Yoongi’s easily, the way he’d kissed the beta a thousand times. And replied stubbornly “Why can’t we?”
Yoongi always aquiecess, even if he is a little stressed, “Remember Jungkook’s already chosen lilac for the outside. you’ll hate it if it clashes”
"I want to paint stars on the ceiling with glow in the dark paint and maybe the outside too!"
Jin had saved another special kiss for you, just as soft as the one he gave your mate. "Of course you do sweetheart." Yoongi had only sighed, and pulled out his phone to look it up.
They’d settled on a shade of salmon pink this morning when they went to home depot (and coffee, because any outing with the pack omega is sort of a date). the color is so light it looks almost white in the morning and honey in the afternoon. Not quite as dove slipper pink as the upstairs closet, or as muted terracotta as the pack’s bedroom.
There are several different colors of pink and red sitting by the doorway, mini bottles that the pack used for swatches. Not just pink but yellow too (the color you thought you wanted to paint your bathroom once upon a time) and dark teal blue (the color Yoongi had chosen for your bedroom).
Of course, no painting can happen until the ceiling is fixed. (Yoongi started peeling back the paint, intent to fix it before you started, only to find that the whole corner was rotted out. If Yoongi gets back from Home Depot with a drywall patch by a reasonable hour, you might be able to start tomorrow. until then, you and Jimin will prime the living daylights out of the trim.
Jimin spots you and flushes- a light pink on his cheeks a shade redder than the color in the paint buckets. “Hey,” he says, soft, pausing. Sheepish at being discovered.
“That’s not-“ you gesture to the plastic sheeting, leaning up against the doorframe. “For me, is it?”
“Yes,” Jimin says. Then he bobs, urgent when he realizes what you mean, what just the two of you in the house means. His grip on the screwdriver goes slack. “No! not in that-“ but then he sees your grin and realizes that you’re just teasing him.
His plush lips pout. Round and glossy like he kissed Tae earlier and hadn't remembered to wipe away traces of her lip gloss. Seeing that is enough for you to get a bit of pep in your step. “That really isn’t something we should even tease about-“ You drum your fingers on the doorframe smiling nonetheless.
He opens his arms, and you fold yourself closer to him, stepping over the layer of plastic and drop cloth, and- is that canvas? It’s pleasantly rough beneath your bare feet. His hands smooth up your tank top to your upper back. Your tank top hides very little of you- but Jimin supposes that’s half the draw. The thin straps don't give you too much support. He tries not to get distracted by the faint squish as you press your whole body up against his chest.
Before, he might not have really mused on the slight differences between hugging you and the others but now Jimin’s gotten used to calculating the differences in gender the last few weeks, more important now because it affects Tae. You nuzzle into his chest and then pull back, Jimin’s eyes are puffy, his scent is normal and his hair is washed but-
“You look...“ Jimin scrubs a hand across his cheekbones, trying to banish the slight haunted look in his eyes. Not like there's something weighing on him but weighing on his soul.
“I know I look like shit.”
“It’s okay, I like my alphas a little bit ruffled.” You tease, but your eyes flash from his face to his chest and back again. “Is it about Tae?” Jimin looks away rubbing his cheek. And you know that’s a yes without having him confirm it. Jimin's anguish and happiness can always be boiled down to her.
Especially given what happened during Namjoon's Rut.
“I wanted to ask you for something. A favor.”
You wait. Through the window you watch the trees bob in the wind, the train chugs passed, its lights as limey yellow as the ginkgo trees that lay interspersed with the pine trees on the edge of your property. Not quite as orange opulence as the tall maple tree that plunges your backyard in shadow. You watch as some of the oak leaves are tossed onto your narrow back lawn, a space that any of you rarely venture to because it’s steep and because it tends to be a little mossy and muddy.
Jimin tugs you to the floor, helping you sit cross-legged without teetering. The layers of plastic and cloth on the floor make it a little slippery and a bit squishy. It's a little bit more comfortable than it might be ordinarily.
Jimin hesitates and his scent goes sour, not exactly angry or overstimulated sour (the kind of scent you’re more used to when it comes from him) but more scared sour. Sharp and grating to your senses the kind of angry alpha scent that once upon a time would have had you ducking for cover.
You shuffle closer to him smoothing your hand over his knee. "Minnie, what's got you so spooked, why are you so nervous? You know you can tell me anything. Literally."
Your attempt at being funny does little to soothe him. Jimin talks quickly when he's nervous. A habit he definitely picked up from Tae.
“Like with you and Namjoon- like with his rut. I don’t want our first time to be in the heat of the moment. I don’t want to do this without thinking because I feel like- when I do that I fuck up, and I might fuck it up with you. If there are two things I’m most scared of it's fucking it up with you and Tae.”
But it's more than that. Jimin knows that since Namjoon's rut, Tae has pulled you into her favorite secluded corners of the house more often than not. That you've chased those hidden moments of pleasure with love confessions.
Is he surprised that you've begun to fuck like rabbits now? A little. Not because he's been excluded from it (Not excluded intentionally, it's just that you spend most of your moments together late at night or in the afternoon before he comes home, and he comes back to the house to find you both smelling sweet and sated.)
You haven't stolen his soulmate from him. It's more like you've uncovered a layer to her that Jimin hadn't even known existed. A flower that he just thought was a bud, a dandelion turned puffy-wish. Only more spectacular than that, because if Jimin could choose one flower to represent Tae it would take fields and fields of them, and probably Hobi's help to make the levels of pretty match properly.
Is it Tae's hormones? Tae has never been the most sexual creature, at least not compared to other packmates. Jimin practically wanted to live inside her skin. To consume his lovers again and again until their pleasure became a part of him.
It's not that Jimin's love language is sex (at least not the way Kookie might consider it his) It's just that there's something about the way he loves that's all-consuming. Perfectionistic almost. Jimin will love them well, and learn how to fuck them well- because he simply won't compromise for anything less.
Tae would say that there's something about the way that he loves that's all poetry. Not at all Plath or Service but maybe Wilde if Tae is feeling particularly sentimental for the person she’s doing her best to leave behind. In Tae's words- and she's written books and books of poems about Jimin at this point- Jimin's love is all:
Let me press my lips to your skin and make every inch known, my lips the pen and your moans the ink, let me show you how good 'good' can feel. Let me do it again and again until bliss feels boring. Let me claim your pleasure as proof of how much I am yours and you are mine. Let me make you hope for nights quiet. For afternoons spent in sheets. Let me make you scorn the morning.
But then again, you're the only one who's read Tae's poetry; so really Jimin has no idea.
Tae has always been the least sexually active of all the packmates, even compared to Yoongi. Jimin knows it’s a bit prejudiced; to think of Betas as being less sexually active especially when he knows the kind of kinky shit Yoongi liked to get up to before you. But there was a time when Tae's sexual activity outside of rut was few and far between. Jimin knows because he and Jin tracked it one year.
Which is why your cries of "Mommy! Mommy please" That Jimin has overheard on more than one occasion over the past two or three weeks- even before Namjoon's rut- coming from the library room- is so strange.
He'd noted the subtle sound of a chair creaking back and forth and a wet slap every now and then and had not had the strength to peer through the more translucent sections of the glass door. But the encounter had left him with his cheeks hot and his pants uncomfortably tight. A hot shower and the warmth of his own fist had left him feeling only guilty, not satisfied. It was the first time that Jimin had ever felt... unwelcome in the pack's escapades.
Maybe he's a little hurt too- because you hadn't come to him and asked to call him Daddy too. That special pet Name remains reserved for the pack omega.
The packs dynamic is also something that tae’s been mostly left out of, in the hierarchy somewhere in the middle in only the barest of terms. because tae has never been interested in the dominant and submissive shit the rest of the pack gets up to.
And yet Jimin doubts this is something you forced on her, doubts that anything about your relationship isn't organic and natural. Which leaves only one possible conclusion;
Jimin simply cannot fuck Tae the way you can. There is something more, that you do better when it comes to loving her that Jimin lacks.
It's stupid to feel insecure, Jimin has loved Tae for almost his whole life. But jealousy is only a secondary emotion when it comes to you and tae- the primary one Is relief. (and also guilt, but Jimin feels sort of guilty about everything so that’s barely a blip in his radar).
You can’t be scared of change forever. He can’t be scared of change when it’s staring him right in the face when you’re sitting pretty and cute and representative of everything Jimin wants not only for Tae but for himself too. Of course, just because you know how to give Tae what she needs doesn't mean Jimin should be complacent.
Jimin puts down the screwdriver, and the last bit of paint cracked open. “After this last week, It’s clear to me that I don’t know how to love women right.” You read into his words. And suddenly standing there feels a lot less normal, your back straightens, mouth falling into a little ‘oh’. There is a stain on the edge of your checkered gingham shorts, the kind you like to wear when you sleep. Suddenly it feels like it matters that you're not put together.
It's okay, Jimin's going to take you apart today anyways.
Jimin's eyes are intense and focused when he stares you down. “I want you to teach me- I want you to teach me how to make love to Tae properly- the way you do.”
Your breath comes in one stuttering gasp and-
Jimin promptly takes one of the tubes of paint, a light blue- the same light blue that you ended up painting the upstairs bathroom, and squishes it out onto the canvas below you. Near your hand but not on it.
The breath you were holding rushes out in a single jagged laugh, “Okay, now I’m lost- I thought the whole point of the plastic and drop cloths was not to get paint on them.”
The look he shoots you asks you to suspend your disbelief and tugs you closer by your knee, "Sit closer so that I can spread more around you." He starts dishing out the other colors. Enough careful drops of paint that it would take a lot of concentration to get out of the room without tracking dark blue or pink or yellow or red halfway across the house.
You wonder what exactly Jimin plans to do to you. Paint included. He puts out a spurt of yellow paint on your side and then another.
Surely sooner rather than later, noodle is going to wander in here in search of a pool of sunlight, track his paws or tail through the paint and leave pawprints everywhere throughout the house. Yoongi will probably complain about them, but you might make him keep them instead of washing them away.
When he’s finished, Jimin turns a yellow tube over in his hands. Back and forth, the cap flashing like a rising and setting small yellow sun. Jimin’s voice is low when he speaks, near reverent. “You’re the first woman I was ever with- that I ever knew I was with.”
It’s an admission and an admonishment, one that you and the rest of your pack have been tiptoeing around. Even though Tae’s a woman now she hadn’t always been. While new lines in the sand are drawn that doesn’t mean the old lines totally fade away. It will take a few more cycles of low and high tide to completely grow used to this.
Jimin fiddles with a small red tube of paint. “I’m a rigid person, I know I am. I don’t like change most of the time and I know, I know things shouldn’t be so planned, I know that’s not the way things usually go but-” You nuzzle close to Jimin, and his words extinguish into a sigh. His hands cradle your sides, the same place he always likes to hold, between your shoulder blade and your ribcage.
You peck under his jaw, “But you need them to be this way sometimes. Planned? So you can make sure everything’s done right?” You press. Mirth playing at the end of your sentence. Jimin is terribly fun to tease.
He bristles, “If you’re expecting me not to make loving you guys perfect when I can make it that way then-”
“You’re such a control freak Minnie.” You say it with a smile, playing your fingers through some of the milky pink white, feeling the tackiness between your fingers.
“You don’t hate it?”
You shrug. “Jin’s that way too sometimes. So no, I guess I don’t hate it. Maybe it’s just because I like- really fucking hate making decisions- so.”
He grimaces, but Jimin’s eyes dart from your face down to your crossed legs. settling on something. “Do you care if those clothes get dirty?”
“A little- I like these shorts.”
“Then you should take them off.”
Your heart thuds as Jimin leans over you, tugging on the strap of your Tank Top with his teeth, lips pressed to the bare skin of your shoulder, dragging them down. He plays at being sexy but decides not to be, settling for leaning his cheek on your shoulder and watching you.
“I had this stupid idea, if you don’t want to do it just say so. But this is every shade of pink that we ever painted the house. Tae’s favorite color is pink- and the canvas- I thought it might be nice to have like- some art in her library room- that’s what I meant about making it planned.”
“Are you saying you want to make sex art for Tae or something?” Jimin blushes yet again. You should be keeping track of how many times he has and use them for leverage.
"Her favorite color is pink." He says, like that justifies it. “And you know gift giving is like, my second love language if that bullshit is to be believed and-”
“-Oh my god you actually do want to make sex art!” your playful shove at his shoulders almost sends you spilling into a splotch of blue. But Jimin is as immovable as ever.
He leans over, growling, nipping at your throat- an alpha tired of being teased. “Do you really think it’s so strange that I want to remember this later, or do you just think it’s odd that I want to treasure you specifically?”
You lean, you’re awfully close to a splotch of yellow that he poured out. You don’t have a good answer for him, or at least- one that will make him stop looking a little sad.
He shouldn't be so surprised that you kiss him to avoid answering. And yet his hands hit a splotch of blue to support himself when he's suddenly made dizzy. Your laugh tastes sweet pressed to his mouth, and the quirk of your lips says ‘That’s what you get,’
You guess the floors need to be replaced anyway, and he's a trained professional when it comes to clean up so it’s not like it will matter if you and Jimin get a little messy here. If Jimin really wants to learn (and you have no doubt that he does) you’ll gladly teach him.
Unhurried kisses become your hands pushing his flannel off his shoulders. Laughing when you look down and realize you've definitely left pink all along the collar. Jimin has the perfect lips for kissing, soft and strong in all the right ways, his hands go to your hips then up to your waist and back again, and his kiss goes sloppy- like he’s distracted by the feel of you.
He separates briefly, to very carefully and neatly, take off your shorts and place them near the edge of the room where there is less of a risk of them getting ruined. Leaving you in just your little panties, you wonder if Jimin knows this is one of a set- that Tae has the other ones and is wearing them today.
(You might have decided to match today, getting ready in your bedroom. She might have liked picking out your clothes a little bit too much, heart fluttering at the idea that you’d be wearing what mommy wanted you to wear all day).
But then he surges forward, pressing a kiss to your lips gently except for the way that you can feel him get jumpy and nervous, and when he pulls back, he’s uncharacteristically shy. “I-“ Jimin is blushing, his cheeks rosy pink, like the buckets of paint have jumped up and left splotches there. “I wanted to come find you once I was done setting up- to kiss you and then-“ he tucks his face down not meeting your eyes.
“You love Tae so well,” Jimin sounds sick with it. A confession maybe, that you love her better than he ever could. How is it that you’ve mastered it? Jimin’s world begins and ends with Tae, and Tae’s world is all you colored these days. And yet, you love her better- love her more.
He leans forward holding your hip, hand hovering on that space between love handle and stomach. It's the first time in the night that you push back, covering his hand with yours and sitting back. “I don’t know how that feels on men but on me, that’s kind of ticklish and kind of anxiety-inducing so-”
“Sorry,” Jimin takes his hands off of you, flexing them, “Wait how should I do it then-” you make him sit back, straddling him, narrowly avoiding putting your palm in a puddle of pink paint.
You slide your hands up his waist to cup his ribcage, and you feel the frantic thudding of his heart under your fingers. “Like this, if you had tits, I’d be just barely touching them, right? Boobs on their own are not like- the most sensitive things to be honest, but if you don’t touch them strong at first and kind of tease around them- it makes it feels better.”
You sit back again, letting Jimin touch his fill, letting his hands rough in all the right places. His fingers skimming up your ribcage, cupping underneath them with a blush on his cheeks, pulling back carefully to watch your expression and make sure he's doing it right. “Yeah- like that” you ignore the way that your breath goes heavy but Jimin’s smile goes a little feline. Like he knows how affected you are but won’t call you out on it.
“Did you know- until you I thought I was like- truly only into men?” you shrug, as Jimin slips off your tank top reverently. The dusky rose of your nipple is so similar in color to one of the pinks he just placed, or is it closer to the rose brown purple that comes when you mix the swatch from the upstairs with the pack's bedroom? Jimin couldn’t tear his eyes away from you if he tried. There’s a fleck of it on the shorter baby hairs near your face too.
You tap your fingers across Jimin's shoulders, narrower and comparatively more feminine than Tae's. You don't like thinking of any part of her as particularly masculine, but her shoulders have always been particularly dysphoria-inducing for her.
It's sad to think that maybe if she looked a little bit more like Jimin and had his proportions some parts of her transition might be easier on her. You can only tell her she's got the proportions of a victoria's Secret model so many times before it starts to feel a little disingenuous.
“It always seemed a little bit nebulous to me- women, men- gender- secondary and otherwise." You shrug, and maybe that's not what Jimin expects from you. Especially with Tae- that you'd have more keen answers for the differences. Not that there were none between the secondary and primary sexes.
His fingers slide down your hip, petting over your hip bone. his touches exploratory, uninhibited as you talk. Waiting for you to check him. He leaves his fingerprints- yellow blue and pink, over the cusp of your hip, and you can tell you're smearing some color beneath you as you shift to let him have his way with you.
Your breath gets heavy as Jimin's touches get bolder and bolder. Petting up and down your thigh as he kisses softly down your chest, hair tickling your skin. He gestures to your boobs, “No biting?”
“Yes but also no. It depends.”
Jimin sighs, pulling himself closer to you, face level with your chest, nudging your nipple with his nose. “That’s frustrating, I’m used to penis rules. No teeth. not ever.”
You bark a laugh, and Jimin touches your chest softly, your nipples pebbled against his palms, a little heavy as he feels their weight. “They’re so-“
“Squishy? Soft?”
“I was going to say weird, why do you have pillows attached to your chest?” you slap his shoulder in retaliation but Jimin’s smiling. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay” You mean it too- you don’t expect Jimin to adjust instantaneously. Maybe it’s too honest for you to confess it, but you understand how love and sexual attraction can be two different things. Jimin might love you because you’re you and might want to show that love in the way he knows how but that doesn’t mean your body won’t at first be very new and very odd to him. Sometimes it takes a second to properly enjoy the people you love.
Tae is the way you find yourselves back to each other. “Did you ever love a woman besides Tae? Before her?” A flash of red lips and a short black bob of hair runs through your mind, but you shove it down and away because no- desperation isn’t the same thing as love.
Jimin continues to touch your chest, his hands moving from cupping them to teasing at the nipple gently, probably the way he’s done to Jungkook before. You can’t say it doesn’t make your tummy start to tighten, the way he does it- unsure but eager.
“Yes and no, I think I had like- crushes maybe? In high school? But never like Tae.”
"Maybe that’s only because I started to love your soulmate after I knew. I never had to change the way I loved her like you did. You've loved her for a long ass time Jimin." Jimin flushes with that- the acknowledgment of it never feels any less lucky. Tae could have been loved by anyone- yet she chose Jimin. Tae has always felt like Jimin's own personal slice of heaven, the only piece he might ever touch.
Jimin looks at you and sees a second sliver, a second chance at salvation. “I've only ever loved her as Tae- not-” You don't say Tae's deadname. To utter it here among all this pink feels sinful when it's done in the name of loving her.
Jimin touches you so reverently, fingers skimming up and down your slit, finger pads pressing against your clit, gentle but explorative.
He watches you, watching your lips part in a soft gasp. The wet glimmer of slick builds, wetting the tips of his fingers. You're so soft and silky down there. knuckles pressed to your mouth to try and keep the sounds in, eyes fluttering shut. Very very pretty in the sunlit room where Jimin can see all of you, the soft fold of your stomach, the freckle on your hip, the one just under your chin.
If freckles hold all of the places that you were kissed in a past life, Jimin thinks you’re going to be covered in them for the next.
You're breathing heavy, but you still find the air to instruct him, “You're doing well- ah- soft touches like that make me feel- Tae likes to feel pretty. I don’t know if it’s like that with all women but-“ You grab his wrist but don’t tug it away, so Jimin keeps drawing endless circles on you, “B-but it’s like that with her. I called her cock pretty once and she came all over me on accident. Said it was just the hormones but-”
“She is really pretty” Jimin’s eyes go far away like he’s thinking about it. And you laugh to bite back a moan. You reach over, pawing at his pants and his belt, making him pull back to take them off not only to make your positions more equal but also because Jimin's all-black outfit is honestly being ruined by all the paint.
You lean back and watch him lift his shirt over his head. “I know! It’s honestly so annoying like- how is it that she was so pretty as a boy and as a girl- I’m honestly so jealous of her sometimes if we’re like-“ you break off. Going quiet wondering how much is normal to reveal. “Talking about gender and stuff.”
Jimin grips your knee, “If I keep going, are you going to tell me when I do something right and when I do something wrong?”
“Of course, but take off your pants first.”
He huffs, but it's all put upon "What a demanding little pup I've got. As you wish."
You’d forgotten that Jimin a quite frankly unfairly pretty cock. Pink at the tip and well-manicured. All of your packmates keep their downstairs area mostly trimmed- the furriest of the bunch being your mate and Namjoon. Somehow you thought Jimin might want to keep it wilder and yet he's smooth. Perfectly manicured.
“Her, but not you,” Jimin says, needing clarification but knowing the answer. your foot hits something wet smearing. The mess gets messier when he jerks you up into his lap, sitting you across it with an impressive show of strength. His cock is wet and hard and pink where it’s pressed against your thigh.
To be mean you arch your hips forward, dragging your clothed cunt across it, Jimin's lips part, and his scent goes thick, like melting vanilla ice cream or baking sugar cones.
The hair on his happy trail tickles your tummy, his hands supporting you as he sets you back against the drop cloth, making sure you don’t bang your head. Jimin holds himself over you, crouching low. “You don’t like to be called pretty- you like to be called cute,” he nips at your collarbones and makes your pulse quicken.
You squirm, but he settles you with a hand on your stomach. “You will get red paint in your hair if you’re not careful.”
He's telling the truth, you know you have to be half-covered with paint by now. You're doing a good job of making the canvas all pretty. He catches your hand, covered with different shades of pink and white spread across your fingertips, and kisses them anyways, a tiny splotch near the edge of his lips.
You’re worried. Of course you're worried about the effect your slick will have on all of them, especially Jimin- who's already at the mercy of his instincts on a good day. And yet, you let him pull himself down, knees sliding through pink and yellow and blue. Tossing your panties into some forgotten less paint splatter corner because they’re actually really fucking cute.
It’s like before Namjoon’s rut, the day you sub-dropped. When Jimin looks up at you to check that this is okay you have the same look on your face; half afraid and half nervous. Like you don’t want to say anything.
Loving Jimin is very good for you because he doesn’t let you stew in those emotions.
“You don’t have to be nervous. I want to do this, I’m not doing this just because I think you’re more likely to suck my dick later, or because I think you deserve to have your pussy eaten- that's last part is like 1/3 of it.”
"Are we describing love with fractions now?" you tease, trying to make it lighter. but your heart hurts, Jimin is so very good at making you feel comfortable. “I always have a hard time believing that.” You confess because today seems to be about honesty. Jimin kisses his way up your inner thigh. Leaving splotches of pink in his wake. “You guys are all so giving, it makes me feel selfish.”
Jimin presses a first slow kiss where you're sensitive. Slowly, Waiting, hurting for you to push him off. You don’t.
“It’s not like that,” he struggles with his words for a second but you’ll wait as long as he needs. “You know how sometimes when you eat food and it makes you full but it tastes so good you only want more?”
“Oh, great now you're comparing me to food" Jimin cuts off your words by pushing your knee to your chest. Unwrapping your pussy for him, the most sensitive part of you wide and open.
“Shut up you know what I mean.” He pales, “I didn’t mean like- shut up literally-“
“Minnie I’m just teasing. I’m not actually upset.” he huffs, but lets you laugh, back against the canvas. "Honestly, I’m just surprised. I didn’t think because of your whole 'I’m a gay alpha thing' that you'd ever want to fuck me. Or if you did we'd at least be with Tae.”
Contrary to what might be believed, the idea of Jimin only wanting you with Tae doesn't hurt you. The truth is that you have so many people now to please; you were sort of okay with Jimin and Tae being a package deal in the bedroom. If only because it makes things on your end slightly easier.
Jimin presses a kiss to your knee, “I want to do more than fuck you- I want to make you cum so many times you cry.”
Your stomach swoops, in a way that might just be you clenching a little at the idea of it. “I don’t think anyone’s ever fucked me till I cried, at least not in the good way.”
Jimin’s growl is a dangerous thing as he pulls himself up to look at you. There’s paint drying on your inner thigh and a whole puddle of it by your hip. And you know you must be a sight. Jimin’s eyes go cold, a little unforgiving at the thought of it and his scent darkens, almost imperceptibly.
You wonder how many people have seen him look exactly like that just before they’ve died under the same touch that makes your heart race. Jimin skims his fingers along your hand, gripping it after a moment, hard, tangled fingers stained with pink and red. Your love for Tae and your other, darker secrets.
“Remind me to piss on your ex’s grave next time we go into the city.”
Your laugh is a bright thing, and you miss Jimin’s smile when he pulls himself back down to your cunt. "In case no one's ever told you, I'm proud of you for killing him. I know it couldn't have been easy.”
You swallow, you don't want to think about that right now, probably the least sexy thing you've ever done. You don't want to think about any of that right now. “You really want to like- Make me cry?”
“Yes,” he says, and even you have to admit that you don’t find any ulterior motive or any sort of underlying motivation in his eyes. Other than wanting, something dark and roiling- an alpha with something to prove. A shaft of daylight cuts across his face, his body.
Jimin’s so pretty. You wonder if he’s this pretty in every universe.
“You’re welcome to try I guess,” Jimin’s fingers brush over the front of your pussy. Keeping his eyes locked with yours as he softly- ever so softly- pets over your pussy. Your breath hitches.
With one hand braced against you Jimin uses his other hand to brush back the top of your cunt, pinning your clit to your pubic bone. Your lips parting around his thumb, his other finger that just barely, teases the top of your hole. You grab his wrist, cursing low.
Every ounce of your self-control goes to keeping yourself from letting out so many embarrassing noises as Jimin draws light circles over your clit. Touching you firmer than before. “You get so wet so fast- it’s precious.” You squeak, jerking when he presses a little harder. Hand flinging out to grab onto something.
It sends a bit of pink paint splattering, and Jimin’s laugh bounces off the high ceiling. A little gets on the wall. You hope Yoongi won't get too angry at you. You and Jimin are going to make the canvases lovely, probably all blotchy and blended together, by the time you're finished here.
It’s hard for you to concentrate, Jimin’s fingers work so diligently, pushing against your hole even as his thumb digs into your clit, you grab his wrist, “gentle” you say, and he slows his pace, “the estrogen makes Tae-“ Jimin slowly drags his thumb down your clit then back up- the hard nub twitches under his touch. “Sensitive. You have to be gentle. Tae likes it gentle, and so do I sometimes.” He remembers the guise of this, you teaching him.
“Sometimes, but not all the time.” You nod, and Jimin continues his slow, torturous circles. “You can be a little bit rough. If it's too much I’ll tell you.” He nods obediently. “Safeword rules still apply?” you ask, because although this isn’t a scene, you can’t help but feel like you might need them.
You don’t know when you started to need them like a safety net. When it started to feel important to have them, But Jimin nods, agreeing. “Of course. They always do with me. I’ll hold you to them.”
The gentle small slap he lands over your cunt has you jumping, cursing, the skin hotter under his touch. "Jin told me you liked that."
"I do- fuck" Jimin alternates, loving the way your whole body jerks when the sensitive part of you is tapped. They're not even rough slaps but you bet the sound of slapping is sounding through the whole house. juxtaposed with the slow pressure that he rubs against your clit, your heartbeat is just under your skin. The slaps make your pussy more sensitive and especially hot when he begins to press kisses there too.
He draws his fingers into a pinch and then drags them up and down your clit, making your legs kick weakly. He does it again just to see you shake. figuring out the best way to toy with you, the quickest way to rile you up.
With cocks- Jimin is used to it being fast and wet and hard, but the slower he goes with you the more it seems to rile you up and push you to the edge. You shouldn’t be so surprised that someone so kissed by Cupid is so good at lovemaking too. (Tae has a thing for people touched by love, you should know by now to trust her judgement.)
His fingers press into your hole gently, crooking up with gentle pressure at the same time he lightly circles his fingers over your clit, fingers glossy with your slick, the glide of them wet and easy. “Do you belive I want you yet? or do i need to spank you cute pussy a few more times for the message to get across?”
You cum on Jimin’s fingers like that, clenching down on them as they press up. With him just sitting there, just watching, eyes transfixed on you. he taps over your clit once, twice, and then a third time before you’re arching away with a jagged exhale. You pawing at his hand to get him to stop or at least slow down.
but he’s true to his word, he doesn’t let you get far. His fingers grip your thighs the chub there dimpling like dough. “I was serious,” he says, eyes bright, “about making you cum so many times you cry.”
You wheeze, and he laughs again. You’ve never heard a laugh that sounded so hot, it’s kind of funny how it goes that way; the more you love someone the hotter the little things about them get.
“Lie back-“ he says, “just let me-” You do- because you’re honestly too boneless to protest right now. He pulls you by the hips through the mess of paint, getting it all on his elbows but he doesn’t care when confronted with you, stretched out like a meal before them. Clit pink from cumming, pussy lips hot under his touch from the spanking, wet hole twitching in invitation. Even though he’s seen you take Namjoon’s cock, it still looks so cute and tiny.
You've come back to yourself enough to tease him. Threading your fingers through his hair as he brazenly watches you. Dismissing the heat in your face as just a conciquence of your orgasam. “If you get paint in my pussy, you better help me clean it later.”
“I’d clean you with my fucking mouth.” He growls against the skin of your inner thigh.
Your retort gets stolen from your throat when he presses his mouth to you.
If you thought Jimin was good at kissing, it’s nothing compared to how he kisses your pussy. Making out with it, his tongue darts out, shy at first. Sending hot licks of pleasure up your stomach. his palm presses flat, against your hip spreading pink and red there. His hand smooths down your knee, and Jimin-
The thing about jimin is that even though he loves giving oral he's never explicitly liked the taste of cock. It was more the fact that it was Tae’s dick that made it good, or Namjoon’s or anyone else’s, that made him love the act of oral so much. Enough to beg for it during rut, to spend countless hours on his knees. To fall asleep during a rut with a soft length in his mouth, mostly Yoongi's, Jungkook's, or Jin's because they're on the smaller side. Happy to have them make his jaw sore.
There is no more complete show of devotion than an alpha getting on their knees for their pack. by comparison, kissing your pussy feels selfish.
At the taste of your, the grating buzz that’s always in his brain- the mental background noise of overstimulation. Like His awareness of the feeling of his knees sliding against the rough cotton drop cloth, the tacky feeling of the paint on his back drying, the tickle of his too-long hair brushing his ears. The vague soreness and hunger in his stomach from eating something that wasn't right earlier. All of that which usually grates on him, that which usually takes from him- all of it goes quiet when your slick hits his tongue.
Jimin's scent thickens, goes so thick it smells just as potent as it does when he's in rut, vanilla cloud covering you, making you leak more.
The second that your slick hits his tongue, the world fades into bliss. The bliss of clean black sheets, the bliss of fuzzy socks on a cold day, of Hobi's sweatshirt that's worn just right at the cuffs or Jin's nest after everyone's slept in it exactly 3 nights after changing the sheets, just enough for it to smell like them and not enough for it to feel dirty.
Your slick tastes like the buzz that fills his head when he touches Tae's hair, like comfort incarnate, when he touches her skin. He leaves his tongue in soft licks, licks that are more about tasting more than giving you pleasure. You don't really notice the difference.
You try to squirm away, clit still sensitive from cumming earlier, but leashes a snarl. Fisting your love handles. His nose brushes your pubic mound, eyes rolling back. Purely animal when he holds you and pin’s you. Fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises later.
Maybe they shouldn't have underestimated what 'addictive slick' really did meant. Because this jimin- is another monster entirely.
His senses, usually friable and bright, like sour candy- go sweet and soft and blissfully quiet. consumed with the quiet of you you you, your slick, hot and sweet on the back of his throat, your warmth, your skin your everything.
jimin wants to keep you right her, right under his tongue, forever.
he pushes your knees up roughly keeping you open and prone for him. You yelp, his teeth teasing at sensitive bits, “Minnie- fuck-”
The growl he lets out is possessive, loud, and echoic in the quiet house, vibrating pressed against your clit. It doesn't end, echoing until his voice goes hard and small.
Your clit is so hard and small. The perfect little nub for Jimin’s lips to toy with. they circle and mouth at it mindlessly. Sucking with gentle pressure just to feel it squish against his tongue. It twitches a little again.
Dicks and clits, they’re not all that different. Only this one- this one doesn’t make Jimin’s jaw ache, doesn’t cut off his breathing. This one's so small it lets him let out soft huffs pressed to slick skin, his hands go hard around your fluffy thighs, spreading pink. When he sucks again your hand goes from a puddle of white paint to his hair, painting it.
“Fuck- Jimin-”
All too soon you’re shaking, Jimin’s soothing growls making your pleasure spike wildly, especially when he looks up from between your thighs, eyes wild and hair messy,
You cum against his mouth. But this time when you try to squirm away Jimin pulls you back by your hips. You try to twist away, but Jimin doesn't let you go, yanking you back by your knees to bend over his face, keeping your cunt right where he wants it. His voice sounds darker, rougher- than you've ever heard it, "squirmy little omega, let alpha taste you. don’t you want to be good for me?"
Maybe you should have been more careful, but even at the rough treatment you drip onto the canvas, and you wonder if your slick will stain it too. You can do little more than rest your face against a piece of dry canvas and try not to cum again so soon. You don’t have the brain cells to respond, not when Jimin licks you like that.
Jimin continues to snarl, throat raw, “Poor little thing, like alphas tongue so much that it made you a little fucked out huh? A little dumb omega? You don’t have to worry pup, alphas got you. Alpha doesn't mind if you're a little messy, I'll take care of you.”
It takes you another orgasam before you're squirting. Your pussy's hot beneath his tongue, ravished and licked so much you can hardly keep your knees under you. Half supported by Jimin's hands as he keeps you on his mouth even as you try and squirm away and save yourself from the embarrassment. The hot gush of slick misses his mouth, trickling down his throat and wetting his collarbones. You'd be embarrassed if you weren't trying so hard not to pass out.
Jimin is going to turn making you squirt into a fucking art form.
But surprisingly, you’re just hiccupping not crying yet. So he keeps going. One orgasm bleeds into another, as one hour becomes two. Sometimes when you squirt, it's just a trickle, other times, it's wet and messy and almost /loud/ for the way that Jimin snarls. He tries every angle, palm pressed to your stomach, fingers inside of you pressing up just under his tongue, lapping at your clit like a lollipop, all of it.
even pressing in deeper, rubbing gently at the spot where namjoon bread you barely last week, a spot so deep that only your alphas have touched, that jimin strokes over just to hear you squeek. his mouth runs an endless trail of filth, sometimes it���s “you’ve got such a cute little breeding hole, so sweet i have half a mind to keep you plugged and full all the time, such a cute hole deserves to be kissed and fucked” other times it’s "give it to me, fuck- please- i need it-"
Your legs are jelly, trembling uncontrollably and Jimin's fingers are Pruny by the time it truly starts to get too much. He’s slick drunk and crazy on the drive to wrench one more orgasam from you. His cock lying hard and unattended against his thigh, dripping thick white cum. The pleasure fading from good to painful, one orgasm wrenched from your body after another, unyielding.
our clit is so sensitive that even his pressing the flat of his tongue and lapping at your clit makes you see stars, makes you scrabble against the paint-colored floor and try to get away.
"Can't take anymore," you whimper, "please alpha- s'too much."
Jimin pulls back, giving you a second to catch your breath, before he presses a hand to your lower back and forces you back down. "That's not a safeword pup. If you really want me to stop. Say it."
You hiccup, but you can't you can't safeword because you know deep down- you really do want him to make you cry. You really do what to see what lies over the next cup, the next minute he spends taking you apart.
It's the pussy spanking that finally takes you over that edge.
He's unrelentingly diligent with taking you apart, alternating between rubbing tight circles and tapping your clit as he suckles at your hole, wrenching another few drops of slick from you with every tap, until he pauses, and drags his teeth over you. You're already jerking away from sensitivity when he pulls back and lands a hard spank over your sensitive clit.
You think you actually might pass out for a second.
When you come too, there's not only a puddle underneath your hips- but also wetness on your lashes, your mouth, hiccuping sobs as the pleasures finally stopped, and Jimin, wet cheeks and all, licks your tears from your face too. “good omega, alpha loves you so much, such a good little pet for me.”
Jimin licks your slick from his lips, wet and messy from you, glossy almost, he bends down, prostrate, kissing the pink splotch on your tummy, “I swear to fucking god-”Jimin does swear to God, in the confines of his own head, that unless Tae gets that surgery in particular, your pussy will be the only one he ever tastes.
He pulls himself up to your level, answering the weak twitch of your arms with his own around your middle. You’re hiccupping too much to speak and shivering too hard to stay still. Your alpha is hot beneath your touch, the mess of your body and his body, not just paint but slick and sweat and tears, all pressed together like a balm to everything. The tightness in your chest released, you sob and it’s a good thing.
Something wretched and broken slips out, Jimin presses a kiss over your heart, covering you with his body, with no foe as witness, when there is nothing to protect you from.
The kiss Jimin presses to your mouth is just as soft as the ones he pressed to your pussy. You grimace at the taste of your slick, but Jimin is having none of it, cupping the back of your neck and soothing your cries with a few more kisses.
“Can you give me one more sweetheart?” His cock is pressing up against your hip, hot, dripping, and insistent. You sniffle but nod. You just want him close.
He pulls your hips through the mess of your slick, turning smudge of red paint all pastel-ly and more watercolor than acrylic as it bleeds.
He feeds his cock into your hungry entrance, still clenching hard around nothing. It feels like you’re still cumming. You don't know if Jimin kept track or if you could put a number to your orgasms if you tried.
You sniffle. And he tugs you along the warm line of his body. Nosing along your cheek. Keeping your bodies pressed close as he rocks his hip deep. Jimin’s stamina must be endless, each roll of his hips is punishing and firm, grinding the head of his cock in deep. He grinds more than thrusts, nudging the sensitive spots he explored with his fingers.
Jimin pulls your hands away from your face, looking down, fixing you with a look as he does it again, encouraging another weak pulse and hot clench.
Jimin gets more and more mouthy the closer he gets, he almost talks like Namjoon did in rut when he gets slick drunk. “Gonna fuck you so deep you feel it for days, gonna fuck you so deep there's no way it doesn't take, fuck- you’re mine- you’re fucking mine.” you let out a broken mewl and Jimin tucks his face into your shoulder.
Jimin doesn't need any schooling, he just needs to love Tae just like this, and they'll be fine.
Jimin grinds his hips in at just the right angle and it forces a rough brutal noise from your throat. A sob that he kisses away. He holds your hips using them for leverage as he breeds you. Hair hanging over his eyes and tickling your brow as he works you closer and closer. The canvas slides against the plastic, but even if you have rug burn later- it will have been fucking worth it.
“Fuck- I’d do anything for you.” You know it’s true. Despite what happened before. You know now all of that has changed now.
Your fingers leave red splotches against his stomach, and Jimin trembles. His body over sensitive from all the pleasure, from keeping his orgasam off for so long
“Would you kill for me?” You ask quietly. Jimin doesn’t stop his pace, doesn’t stop his movements.
You think about Yoongi and that night more than you’re willing to admit; You think about his face, bruised and screwed into a snarl, holding the gun to Geumjae but unable to pull the trigger. You know he couldn't for more than one reason; both because killing him could have killed you and because it was his brother.
But at the same time, You don’t know if one day the memory will ever make you feel anything but emptiness. A bleak almost disappointment. Sure- he’d been willing to bind his soul to yours to keep you alive. He’d devoted himself to you wholly and completely since but-
But maybe that was partially to ease his guilt. Guilt and love. Love and guilt. Are they really so different? Yoongi loves you. You know this as surely as you know that the sun will rise tomorrow. But even he hadn’t been able to pull the trigger. You had to do it instead.
"I'm proud of you for killing him, I know it must not have been easy"
Watching Jimin fuck you within an inch of your life, you decide you don’t know if that makes Yoongi a better man than Jimin, or a worse one.
Jimin leans his body low over yours, grinds his cock in deep, and presses his lips to your ear. “Kill for you? I’d do worse.” Jimin drives his cock deeper. Chasing his own release now, not just yours.
“For you and Tae, I’d do fucking anything.”
You squirt around his knot, just a trickle of it as it starts to inflate. He doesn’t stop fucking it back and forth, simple millimeters that tug more squirt from you as it fills you up and tugs at your sensitive entrance. You wet the red on his stomach with how hard you clench down making it dribble.
There’s even a splotch of red on his shoulder, milky white and crimson. Both of you are absolutely covered in paint.
Jimin doesn’t think he’s ever going to get tired of it as he takes a bit of your slick and presses it to his tongue. My sweet pup. our sweet pup the voice devoted to Tae reminds him in his head. Of course, she deserves the most delectable omega in existence, of course, this sweetness is worth protecting.
Of course, I’d kill for you.
It's your taste that drives him over the edge that makes his knot twitch and cum start to fill you up, locked deep inside of you. Your abdomen tightens against his as he cums. You’re so warm and wet, so comfortable as he rocks into you. knot too inflated to yank it out.
The instinct to breed and claim there as he drags his teeth up the Column of your throat and makes you keen. Your hand buried in his hair, the other resting between his shoulder blades, nails resting against his skin, tired of scratching although you’ve already left your marks on his skin. Up and down his back
Afterward, it’s comparatively quiet.
He flips you over so that you can rest against his chest. He’s warm and hot underneath you. Warm enough that you don’t feel the cold or lack of covering. Knotted together as close as you can be Jimin lets your sniffles quiet. His fingers paint mindless circles over your lower back as your breathing slows. Pressing kisses against the top of your head, your cheek against his chest, listening to the rapid thud of his heartbeat slow.
Even though you’re quiet, your mind races. Slowly treading toward dangerous territory. Tae’s voice, the memory of Tae’s words- “Minnie. I don’t think I want you to touch me right now, please just- please don’t”
It’s you who dares to punctuate the quiet. “Did you want to do this because of what happened during Namjoon’s rut?”
“Maybe.”
You lift your head, “Have you and Tae talked about it yet?” Jimin tips his throat up towards the ceiling, the cracked plaster that Yoongi hasn’t yet fixed. Avoiding your gaze. He just ate you out, but he can't look at you when you ask about this.
Jimin’s hand continues its endless circles across your sternum, winding down and down.
“To be honest, I don’t know if we’ll ever talk about it.”
~-~
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