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atlasdoe · 2 years ago

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Hi my name is Ace and I just finished Wednesday and need to rant about Xavier

Xavier was by far my least favourite character on the show for multiple reasons and I need to rant about it so here is a long ass rant about why I dislike him, why I think he and Wednesday will never work and how I think the writers could improve his character next season.

If you like Xavier feel free to read this and give your view just don't be rude, please :)

Firstly he is the most boring character on the show. He literally has nothing going on.

Firstly I dislike the “small American town stereotype” that he is, that being the tortured artist. This is a personal opinion but it’s been done so many times before and these characters have always gotten on my nerves the most. To me, Xavier is no different and n my mind he’s just Jughead Jones with a paintbrush.

The main arc that Xavier has throughout the season is that Wednesday thinks that Xavier is the hyde, but in the end its nothing, Xavier was telling the truth the entire time and has nothing to hide therefore we spent all of this time trying to figure out what he was hiding only to realise that he wasn’t hiding anything at all. If Xavier had something else to hide then the reveal could’ve made his character more interesting but because there was nothing he lost any potential he originally had.

Compare this to Tyler (which I will be doing a lot, sorry) who also had an arc focused on mystery, we knew something was up with Tyler's mum but not what, similarly to how we knew something was up with Xavier and his paintings and inconvenient coincidences, however with Tyler the payoff worked. Tyler was hiding something, there was more to his character than we originally thought and that reveal added layers to his character from being a small-town barista to a serial killing monster. Xavier is the same person at the end of the season then he is at the start, even being framed and arrested didn’t develop him in any way.

Another thing that Xavier is going through is the troubles he has with his dad, but we don’t really know anything about that. We know that his dad is a famous seer and that Xavier has daddy issues but that’s it. A lot of the characters in the show have struggled with their parents, the difference with Xavier is that we don't see those struggles play out. We see all of the other characters interact with their families so we can get a true sense of what they’re dealing with but all we get from Xavier is him sulking in a corner. Now I understand that one of Xavier's and his dad's hardships is that he doesn't show up but then I would’ve wanted them to use another way of showing us more about their dynamic. Maybe just hearing one side of a phone conversation would’ve done more to show what their relationship is like rather than just being told by Xavier.

They could be teasing Xavier and his dad for season two but if that's the case then they did a bad job at it because I do not care about Xavier or his dad at all.

My main point is that when there are plotlines like the hyde or Bianca’s mums cult or Enid not being able to wolf out or the Gates family, Xavier was the character I was the least interested in, especially when it was at a point where it would be too obvious if he did end up being the hyde.

Of course, I have to talk about the love triangle when talking about Xavier's character because it took up a big part of his screen time.

I do want to start by saying that this is probably not an unbiased opinion as I am a Tyler and Wednesday shipper but I will try to look at both sides as I can.

Firstly let's get the “who was the most creepy” argument out of the way. I don’t really believe that either of them was creepy in a sense.

The worst Tyler did was told Wednesday that he felt like she was giving him signs when she obviously wasn’t. I’ve seen people say that if this was Xavier then more people would call him creepy and I do agree with this but mostly because you have to look at the context in which Tyler is saying it.

Tyler was wrong, Wednesday was not giving him any signs at all but at this point in the show Tyler is deliberately inserting himself into Wednesday's life to gain her trust, therefore it is very possible that Tyler knew he was wrong and was doing this to manipulate her or at least to put the idea of them being romantic into her head. Later on in the scene, he asks her if she’s just using him as a pawn in her game and as a viewer, I was fully expecting her to tell him that she was, but she doesn’t and instead tells him that she had priorities rather then just turning him down.

Everyone has their own opinion about whether Tyler really cared for Wednesday or not and how much of what he said was genuine. In my opinion, he started out purely trying to manipulate her but started to catch feelings as they started to spend more time together, similar to how Wednesday started out only using Tyler to later catch feelings for him.

Xavier is different. Xavier doesn’t have any ulterior motives regarding his feelings towards Wednesday, so if it was Xavier who said this, it would be in a different context.

In theory, Xavier cares more for Wednesday, but that doesn't mean he’s a better fit for her.

My main criticism of their relationship is that Xavier just doesn’t get her like other characters do. I have three examples of this.

The first is when he suggests that Wednesday should join the secret society despite the fact that it seems to be led by Bianca who Wednesday hates and the fact that it’s a social club when Wednesday doesn’t like socialising. He then proceeded to get mad at her because he “stuck his neck out for her” when she declines.

Another example is at the dance where Xavier tells Wednesday that Tyler ruined his mural as a warning that she should stay away from him. Indicating that he thought that telling her this would make her back off of Tyler when really her response to this was “I would’ve done worse.” Keep in mind that this is Wednesday Addams we’re talking about. She once said that she would hate to be done for attempted murder because then everyone would know she failed, why Xavier thought that she would care about his mural is beyond me honestly, I actually find it quite funny how he thought that would do anything.

My third example is to be determined really but him giving her a phone at the end of the season I feel is another example if him not really understanding her. Wednesday says that she “doesn’t want to be a slave to technology” and throughout the season that never changes, she is never seemed to be lacking without a phone. The whole wanting to keep in touch is understandable but I think it could’ve worked better if Xavier had given her a flip phone or something like that. A way for them to keep in touch without having it be modern technology like an iPhone. (Also saving money in Xavier's case)

(Side note: I actually think that scene could’ve worked a lot better if it has been Edin giving Wednesday the flip phone rather than Xavier. It seems like something she would do and I do believe that if she was to get Wednesday a phone she would get her a flip phone rather than an iPhone.)

Compare these situations to Tyler playing Legally Blonde as a scary movie because he knew that she would hate the film and like that she hated the film (manipulation or not, he still understood her enough to manipulate her well)

The main thing that Xavier had against Tyler is that Tyler is obviously the villain but again this is Wednesday Addams and as toxic as Tyler is Wednesday is just as bad.

If the writers do it right they can have an amazing lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers arc with maybe the whole “only I can kill you” vibe. Idk but dating a serial killing monster seems right up Wednesday's alley (even she says it.)

For Xavier and Wednesday to work for me they’ll have to make Xavier more interesting and lean more into Wednesday’s vibe. With Edin and Wednesday, they’re opposites attract and with Tyler and Wednesday they’re two sides of the same coin. To me, Xavier is just somewhere in the middle and has the most boring dynamic out of the three of them.

I’ve seen a lot of people online refer to Xavier and Wednesday as sunshinexmidnightrain or goldenretrieverxblackcat but I’m sorry they’re simply not.

Xavier is not sunshine. He is the tortured artist with daddy issues. He is constantly complaining or jealous, he gets worked up easily and spends the majority of his time painting monsters in a shed. How is that sunshine?

Edin is sunshine. She is always smiling and full of energy, she is social and tries to look on the positive side of every situation. We do see Edin get upset or mad during the show but it takes a lot to get her to reach her breaking point. If the writers are going for sunshinexmidnightrain for Wednesday's love interest they’re looking at the wrong character.

Speaking of Xavier's constant sulking that is something else I really dislike about him.

There's one scene during the dance that really gets to me. When everyone is dancing and having a good time before it cuts to Xavier and Bianca. Bianca is dancing a little in her seat and smiling, still obviously at least trying to have a good time while Xavier is sitting next to her angry that Wednesday came to the dance without someone else and then has the nerve to ask Bianca to erase his feelings for Wednesday.

That was the scene that put me off Xavier completely and despite the fact that he did apologise it was just such a dick move to make and I especially felt bad for Bianca in that scene.

Another thing that annoyed me was him always bringing up the fact that he saved Wednesday’s life at the beginning of the season and acting almost as if she was in debt to him because of this. Wednesday made it clear that she is not thankful so I don't know why he kept pushing it.

( I feel like someone will bring up Tyler telling Wednesday that she owed him a date because he nearly got killed to which I will again remind everyone that Tyler is the villain and needed to distract Wednesday so again, the context is different)

(I am also realising how hard it is to compare two men's actions when one of them has been genuine the entire time and nobody knows if the other was genuine at all)

Now I’m sure this may seem hypocritical calling Xavier a dick for the way he acted while Tyler is the full-on villain of the show but to me, there is a big difference between a good person and a good character and a lot of that relies on how the audience is supposed to view them.

Tyler is not a good person (if he’s fully aware of everything that he’s done and doesn’t care. With Tyler, there is the tricky subject of the fact that he was also manipulated and groomed to become what he was) but he is a good character. He’s the villain, we’re not supposed to condone his actions, similar to Wednesday and her actions. Both of them are not painted to be your typical good guys but Xavier is.

Xavier isn’t the only character like this, Edin and Ajax I will also say are supposed to be seen in a good light. Not only by the viewers but by the other characters.

Also, Wednesday is a show where little moments like that between Xavier and Bianca are bigger tells of character than murder. A character could murder someone in the show and I wouldn’t care but smaller things between characters who are supposed to be seen as good I take note of.

I don't know if that last part made sense but in my head, it does so sorry if it's just gibberish.

In conclusion, Xavier just doesn't have anything going on for him that other characters can’t so better and in a more fun way. I can see the writers going with Xavier and Wednesday as endgame but I really hope they don’t consider the number of possibilities they have with other characters.

Jenna Ortega said that she would want them to have more of a siblings relationship and I can really see that happening in the next season, considering they’re about to take some time away from each other and Wednesday never confirmed any feelings for him the writers could make his crush on her fade over time and have them become really good friends.

I can see myself liking Xavier in future seasons but they have to give him a proper arc that's unique to his character, rather than a tortured artist with daddy issues who has a crush on the new girl.

idk if anyone will both to read all of that but if you did congrats and thank you

#wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday x xavier #xavier thorpe #wednesday x tyler #tyler galpin #the addams family #edin sinclair

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everysongieverwrote · 6 months ago

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UNDER THE BRIDGE (2024)

Hulu's Under The Bridge. What else can I say about this show that I haven't already word vomited in here? A lot, actually (this show is that good, okay?) But this is supposed to be a spoiler free review so I'm gonna try to keep it short and sweet (ha!).

First off, this show is phenomenal. Unfortunately, I don't know how good of an adaptation it is because I haven't read the books it's based on and when the real case was on the news I was a literal baby so I obviously don't have much knowledge of it outside of the very basic details of it (but if you wanna know how different the show is from the real case, this post is very informative and interesting imo).

As for me, many of my thoughts about it are judging it as a show. So, as a show. It is absolutely incredible.

The production team behind this show, the writers, the directors, and the actors did an amazing job with this production.

First, there are so many, so many little details and lines that seem insignificant or random at first glance yet hold so much meaning and power once you notice them and think about them. So many little things in this show speak volumes. Honestly, kudos to the behind-the-scenes team of this show because they had one job and they nailed it.

Second, all the little parallels and connections between characters and timelines. One of the things that I really enjoyed about this show was the dual timeline and the fact that not only do we get a dual timeline (which is always great, if done well, and this show does it perfectly) we also get flashbacks of events that happened decades before the main story, and yet, it affects the current events so much. I love it when the sins of the past haunt the present/future, I love it.

Third, the performances! Of course, you have Oscar Nominated Lily Gladstone as one of the leads, so obviously, some good acting is expected, right? But that's the thing, the amazing performances don't stop there.

Don't get me wrong, Lily Gladstone was phenomenal as Cam Bentland. Their performance was both breathtaking and heartbreaking (those microexpressions!). They truly deserve all the praise and recognition (and an Emmy!). Lily Gladstone owned that screen. You can feel both their presence and absence in every scene their character was or wasn't in. If you're gonna watch this show because of one thing, let that be Lily Gladstone (get them that Emmy!)

But as I mentioned above, the good acting doesn't stop there. The kids in this show knocked it out of the park aswell. It's so refreshing to see actual kids playing kids and playing them so well. Some of my favorite performances of the show came from the kids (Chloe Guidry and Aiyana Goodfellow are the first to come to mind but all the kids were amazing). But of course, the rest of the cast was great too, especially Archie Panjabi and Riley Keough.

Now, storytelling-wise. I love how much this show challenges you. Not just mentally and emotionally but also morally. How unafraid to be raw, dark, and real it is.

This show could've been as straight forward and as black and white as some people are making it out to be. Which is honestly a disservice to the show and the messages is really trying to get across. If while watching this show you immediately make up your mind about particular aspects of it, then you're not really watching the show. You're not getting it.

This show is not about: 'Bullies killed an innocent kid. Bullies bad, innocent kid good'. It's not an 'us vs the system' kinda show. Yes, it deals with those themes and on a surface level it might come across as that but it's not just about that.

This show is about flawed humans who made mistakes and now are dealing with the consequences, both outwardly and inwardly. This show is about troubled people who are dealing with a lot of (childhood) trauma and other problems and many of these things are out of their control. This show is about humans who shouldn't be defined by the worst moments of their lives (or decisions) because that's not all they have done in life and not all they are ever going to do in this life if given a chance. This show is about a system and a community that failed and isolated the people that didn't fit their mold or picture perfect world.

It's not about right vs wrong, about innocence vs guilt, or about good vs evil. The world is not black and white so why should a show that is based on true events be? No, this show gave you the shades of gray and an assortment of colors. And it's freaking beautiful.

The show is screaming at you to ask yourself certain questions, so ask them. Don't do this show a disservice, let this show challenge you. If the show was not afraid to be real, then why should you be? Don't just scratch the surface, dig deeper and see what you find, it might surprise you.

But, of course. I am a big believer that no show is ever perfect and this show does have flaws. Some of the writing, directing, pacing, editing, and acting is a little... awkward.

Some characters come off as caricatures, they don't have that much depth or character development (if any). Some characters are just there just for the sake of being there (the same critiques can be applied to some of the relationships between characters). I understand why this show didn't reduced the cast as much as other shows do. I understand why they didn't have that much freedom to cut or combine as many characters as other shows, but I do think that it could've been handled a little bit better.

As for the pacing, it seems to be all over the place at times. Sometimes we're getting too much information and emotions all at once and sometimes it feels as if we're getting nothing at all. But I don't think any of the problems the show does have take you away from the story (imo) but they are there and you do notice them, so keep that in mind, I guess?

All in all, I highly recommend this show. It's really worth the watch. I don't recommend binge watching it, though. Because I feel like that's a lot to take in one sitting (or two) and once again, I feel like you would be doing the show a disservice if you do that.

So, if you haven't watched it yet but plan to, I recommend to take it slow, take your time. Enjoy the wild ride and once your journey is over, come here and yell at me about it. My inbox is always open.

As for me, I'm definitely going to rewatch this show multiple times (and maybe convince my nieces to watch it during the summer). I'm also adding it to my list of favorite shows because that's how much I enjoyed it.

Overall Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐/5

#under the bridge #tv review #watched in 2024 #tv series watched #tv rambles

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hua-fei-hua · 1 year ago

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tag game from @cadriona~~ 15 questions for 15 mutuals

1. are you named after anyone? uhhh my middle name comes from like, One of my white ancestors, though i don't remember the exact tracing of the bloodline rn

2. when was the last time you cried? honestly not sure, but i feel like it was not terribly long ago. less than a month ago, i think; i can be a crybaby sometimes

3. do you have kids? legally no; biologically also no; but emotionally? the number is fathomless.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i don't feel like i'm a terribly sarcastic person, but many other people disagree. just today one of the kids at work asked me why i use sarcasm a lot! i think at this point my habit of "saying ridiculous things with full sincerity and then expecting people to understand that its sheer absurdity means it's a joke (but still actually doing said ridiculous thing if people call it a bluff)" is just hard for people to parse in general, but since i just roll with whatever they think i'm being, it's not a big deal.

5. what sports do you play/have played? this question is so funny bc recently i've been joking that i'm the only non-jock at my workplace, but my coworker in aquatics tried to rope me into lifeguarding for the summer when he found out i could swim, and i did marching band in high school. oh, and i took a fencing course in uni before plague.

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? their jacket, then their hair. if you change both of these things at once i might have trouble recognizing you.

7. eye color? brown. you know how dominant genes are.

8. scary movies or happy endings? for the most part happy endings, but if you're too saccharine about the beginning and middle then i'm going to wish you gave me a scary movie instead.

9. any special talents? i can do calligraphy with italic / oblique pen tips (think gothic blackletter, even tho gothic is probably one of my shittiest hands); i can burp at will still; i can touch type at around 92 wpm (certified)

10. where were you born? in a hospital <3

11. what are your hobbies? good lord that's a doozy these days. regularly i read n write fic (obviously), play genshin (still), study fandom (specifically the weeb sphere and its history), and code my shrine of cringe neocities. (and also sometimes stream any one of these things to friends) irregularly i watch youtube, keep a diary, read manga n watch anime, press flowers, do calligraphy, scanlate manga, typeset n bookbind fic (physically restrained by everyone from buying $500 worth of fonts bc Literally no one understands my font disease except other typesetters) mostly, but i have god knows how many other dormant hobbies (arranging music, editing fonts, edit videos, etc.) hiding in the cracks that i should probably just put on a resume by this point. you know how it is with adhd.

12. do you have any pets? not anymore, unless you count [pet] projects, in which case yes, the spreadsheet project abt fandom migrations in particular

13. how tall are you? abt 5'6", more specifically 166.4 cm.

14. favorite subject in school? chemistry, though i english/literature was a close second, and math (aside from geometry and statistics) is still beloved.

15. dream job? someday i'm gonna teach chemistry to a bunch of high school idiots, and i'm gonna love them all so fucking much, and i'm gonna be so fucking happy that i'm still alive.

tagging (if you want!!) @stardust-make-a-wish @reach-4-thesky @cece-0708 @yongnep @kanonavi @krackerka @isnt-it-pretty @yume-fanfare @aranarumei @italiantea and now staring at my mutuals list i have started to lose my nerve so i'll leave it at ten LOL but if you wanna do it too you can just say i tagged you ( •̀ ω •́ )y

#tag game #rousing ancient beasts (mutuals who haven't logged in in ages but i still talk to over discord) w/some of these tags LOL #in high school nat used to roast me abt identifying people primarily off their hair and jackets #i think it's less that i might be genuinely faceblind and more that i don't like staring at people's faces straight-on these days #OMG MY PACKAGE W/THE HEART-SHAPED LOCKET HAS ALLEGEDLY ARRIVED ACCORDING TO THE ETSY EMAIL

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craw-dacious · 11 months ago

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The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review

Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.

Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.

summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter One

Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me

So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent makes it worse

The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure

I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon

Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn

Chapter Two

Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad

This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius

The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit

Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry

ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT

I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK

Chap 3

Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms

Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother

Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good

I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf

Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.

Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged

This chapter has been depressing

The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED

But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms

Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD

OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT

Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH

This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)

Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting

Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.

Chapter 4

Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up

Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way

But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333

Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.

Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted

Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute

And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him

I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors

Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family

Chappy 5

Good shit again

THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review

The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.

This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh

Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.

Chap 6

Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little

Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions

I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.

The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN

Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no

Chapter 7

Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes

To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it

Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun

Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.

Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire

Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant

But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …

Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3

Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute

Chapter 8

Heart hurts, poor Sirius

I said that remus should be nicer

Chapter 9

Okay, information has been gained

Sorry for short 8 summary

So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY

There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable

I would actually kill myself

I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it

He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot

I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.

Chapter ten

WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM

This chapter INFURIATED ME

Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf

Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag

Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker

Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good

Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there.

Chapter 11 & 12

The enchanted parchment

Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually

Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO

“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”

Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest

Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic

Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”

Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship

Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously

Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess

This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking

At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic

Chapters 13 & 14

Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy

The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.

Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates

Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago

Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.

I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense

Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun

Chapters 15-16

They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong

HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER

Still not happy. I dont know what I expected

2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17

Chapters 17-20

Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that

Someone thought someone else killed somebody else

Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward

Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember

Except for the baby and trauma and everything

Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain

Chap 21-22

KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS

I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible

Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head

23-24

The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together

Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic

I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it

Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.

Last five chapters

Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC

The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape

His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good

I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.

“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”

Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”

That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh

Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk

I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET

My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss

Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit

Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh

I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE

This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE

Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review

FINAL REVIEW:

Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after

My favorite parts

ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was.

Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle

CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this

Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.

Now my weaknesses

Some underdeveloped plots

Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.

Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”

Some(?) characterizations

Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”

Overall: 8.3/10

I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.

#fic rec #remus lupin #wolfstar #fic reviews #gay shit #harry potter #marauders

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nellie-elizabeth · 2 years ago

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Grey's Anatomy: Shadow of Your Love/Mama Who Bore Me (19x14/15)

Lots to talk about, in these two episodes!

Cons:

So, I'm going to keep a close eye on how this story goes with Jo and Link and Luna. The thing is, so far technically speaking nothing about it makes me angry. It is totally fair and reasonable that a mother would have a hard time processing a big and scary change for her young daughter. And Grey's is usually good about this kind of thing, so... I just hope they have an actual Deaf consultant come on to coach about this story-line? I hope they go into the controversies and dangers around a CI if that becomes something Jo considers for her kid? I hope we get an awesome story of Jo and Luna and Link and Scout learning ASL so they can all communicate better. I just... don't want this to turn into an abject tragedy where Luna losing her hearing is the same as if she'd gotten cancer or something. There's a lot to celebrate from becoming Deaf, and it would be cool if the show could explore that aspect of things! We'll see how it goes. (Also, repeating my constant critique that Jo and Link bore and annoy me as a potential couple, I just really wish we'd never gone that route at all.)

Amelia and Kai... I don't know. Does this just feel a little lazy, a little proscribed, to anybody else? Amelia correctly identifies that she tends to lash out and behave poorly when she feels she's being abandoned, then she learns Kai is leaving to go to London, and she immediately starts behaving poorly. I was on Kai's side in the sense that they pointed out that Amelia hadn't even stopped to congratulate them on this big job opportunity. That's some bullshit. But also, this episode reminded us why this relationship was always going to be doomed... Amelia has a kid. Amelia is a mother. Kai wants nothing to do with that. What sort of future were they supposed to have if Amelia is literally supposed to be splitting her time between her partner and her child? It's ridiculous.

And to round out the relationship trouble segment, there's Maggie and Winston. So here's where we leave them: Maggie going to Chicago, Winston staying in Seattle. Both of them acknowledging their love for one another, but that they need to stay where they are for the benefit of their career. It's just... ugh. Last week I was rolling my eyes at the forced metaphor between Maggie and the bull-riding girl. Here we get it with a high-powered lawyer just starting off on her career, who learns that she has breast cancer. Maggie is all "you being passionate about your job is a good and beautiful thing, don't let anybody tell you different" and it's just like... yeah, okay, we get it. But the whole message here that Maggie isn't like Ellis, because on top of her ambition she also has kindness and love... it just felt very told to me, instead of shown to me. Maggie acts like leaving to go to Chicago is the only way to pursue her ambitious career, and that to do anything different would be to stifle her own sense of self. That dichotomy feels super forced to me. It's not like she couldn't find career advancement in Seattle if she wanted to.

Oh, and a couple other relationship things to throw into the mix: Teddy and Owen did a weird flirty routine this week and while it's more palatable than watching them fight, I'm still not on board with their nonsense in general. And then there's Simone, who is trying to convince herself (and Jules) that getting married is the right choice, while she and Lucas are still obviously smitten with each other. It's kind of tedious at this point, and I think part of it is that Trey, Simone's fiancé, isn't even around so we can understand how that dynamic is supposed to go.

Pros:

Bailey this week is having to deal with increasing harassment from pro-life assholes who not only keep calling her phone, but also send a picture of Tuck at his school. It's this specific threat that has Bailey changing her phone number and moving the family into a rental for a while, hoping that things will cool down. I wonder where this story is going to lead! It's super tense.

It also gives us a chance to hang out with Pru, who Bailey keeps with her at the hospital out of precaution, and then pawns off on Lucas when she has a surgery. That's one adorable kid, all the stuff with Pru really made me smile. And while Lucas and Simone's romance stuff is tedious, seeing him care for that little girl really did a lot to endear me to his character!

Simone, too, got a moment that made me emotional. When she breaks the news to a patient that she has breast cancer, the patient freaks out and says: "I don't know what to do" and Simone simply says "I do." That was really touching to me, it felt very much in line with my own personality. If something bad happened to me and a kind stranger could tell me they'd handle it... what a gift!

Yasuda and Kwan got into the beginnings of a feud when Kwan swooped in on a surgery, taking advantage of the fact that Mika overslept. I like this, because it feels like the kind of ruthless behavior we would have gotten from our original cast of intern characters. Yasuda is going to need to figure out a work/life balance that allows her to make money and also stay on her feet at work. And Kwan may realize at some point that he needs allies and he hasn't done such a good job of making them.

Schmitt had another lovely plot thread this week where he's wondering what he should specialize in, is chastised by Richard for being behind, but then ends up spending the episode connecting with a Jewish patient and helping to give him and his great-grandfather a bar mitzvah in the hospital. Richard, who was in a bad mood earlier because of Maggie leaving, encourages Schmitt to maybe consider working with kids. I loved this little moment, and seeing the double bar mitzvah really warmed my heart.

Speaking of Richard: while I am ultimately still frustrated and underwhelmed with Maggie's exit from the show, the moment at the end with Richard was really, really sweet. He gives her a mini bench that works as a business card holder, but that's also a miniature of the bench where he first found out he had a daughter. He says his life forever changed at that moment. I legitimately cried. And then Maggie gets into the elevator, and we see her two moms: biological and adoptive, both there with her, ready to see her into her future. As frustrating as the build to this moment was, I thought the actual execution moment was done so beautifully. Why is it that Maggie's exit from the show was more grand and sentimental than Meredith's? Sigh.

I think it's encouraging that most of the "pros" section is newer characters, like Schmitt and our five new interns. And now that Maggie is gone, which I am ultimately sad about, maybe Winston will have interesting story-lines too. There are still a lot of enjoyable elements to this show, and reasons to keep checking back in.

7/10

#review #grey's anatomy #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's anatomy review #grey's abc #greys abc

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zindagi-jhandwa-firbhi-ghamandwa · 1 year ago

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My mother was feeling bad yesterday. She has anxiety. It's where I got mine from. I try my best to help her through it, but she always prefers to talk to my cousin, her elder brother's daughter.

My mother was 12 years old when her father died. Her elder brother, my uncle, was 16. As the eldest male in 1970s India, he was tasked with taking care of the family and he did an extremely impressive job. My mother also did really well considering her disadvantages. But it's because my uncle went from delivering milk riding a bicycle every morning to having enough money to buy multiple apartments that my mother sees him as some sort of God and his daughter as some sort of goddess.

Plus they both speak Telugu as a first language while I speak English as a first language — and despite my best efforts to improve my Telugu fluency, I obviously am not going to be as fluent as people who were born and raised in Hyderabad, speaking only Telugu.

So when my own mother is struggling with her mental health, I must watch her express her feelings to my cousin rather than me. I must watch my aunt and cousin comfort her while I go to work.

My father doesn't give a shit about me, I feel. He didn't see me till I was 6 months old. He never wanted to marry my mother, he was forced to enter into an arranged marriage by his parents — my grandparents. He liked my sister a bit because she's his first born and she's brave, fearless, aggressive and sporty, like him. His son on the other hand is an insecure, introverted nerd. My father almost embodies the jock stereotype. He was an excellent sportsman, loves to keep fit, and despises fat people. He literally let thin people destroy his life and career and bears no ill will against them and when overweight people helped him out, he still treats them like crap. I'm morbidly obese, bad at sports, introverted, I find it difficult to deal with people, I'm a nerd and not a believer in traditional masculinity. He kinda hates me for that.

My sister is probably the person I'm closest to, but she's married with kids and thus I would be, at best, #4 on her list of people. In reality, I'm probably more like #10. Also, she lives in the UK and I live in India.

My closest friends are both married and the amount of time they can share with me has plummeted as a consequence. One of them lives in San Francisco, so the time we spend together on the phone is really limited anyway, plus he's successful and surrounded by other successful people. I jokingly refer to myself as Sudama in his presence.

The other lives in India, in Nashik. He had the choice to live in New York, but he chose Nashik. Since his marriage, not only is he fully focused on his wife and indeed her family and friends, who give him royal treatment as the husband of the eldest daughter in the family.

And so I'm now slowly realising that while I do have a wide circle of family and friends, I'm not in anyone's inner circle and I don't have anyone in mine either.

I'm a secondary concern to everyone. An acquaintance to all and a friend to none.

It's a weird feeling to know that your own mother would rather talk to your cousin than you when she's in trouble. That your father would rather spend time with people your age from his work, all of whom basically take advantage of him to extract whatever little money he has left out of him, than be with you. That when you try to make conversation with him, you get grunts and single word replies.

It's all exacerbated by the knowledge that you didn't let people get close to you because you had bigger goals in life. You had dreams, hopes, aspirations that all shriveled up and died, leaving you with no friends, no family, no loved ones, no-one to whom you can be vulnerable and nothing to show for it except a smoking habit that will probably kill you in the next year.

Why do I endure? I should just fucking kill myself and get it done with. Except I'm too scared to do that too. And so the pain grows and continues until one day I'll suddenly feel a sharp stabbing pain the chest and collapse. And no-one will be able to take me to the hospital because I'm too fat to be lifted and taken anywhere.

#it's ya boi #india #life #tumblr is my only social media now #slow suicide #suicidal tendencies

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tonguetyd · 8 months ago

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I read this chapter on my flight Thursday so forgive me if I misremember/misquote things (also ya girl is running on ~3 hours sleep)

TLDR hi you are about to witness the blorbofication of Sam Gamgee. Did I swoon at the single mention of Aragorn’s name? Yes. But did I find myself giggling at every tiny thing Sam did? Yep. Yep I did.

First of all, again having only halfway sorta watched the movies, I just…assumed that Sam was always besties with Frodo. Like they just were buds for forever. So reading “Frodo is besties with Merry and Pippin but Sam is literally Just Some Guy That Work Here™️? SHOOK. You mean to tell me this man is just so loyal that he immediately is like “oh, my boss is in trouble? Yeah, weird wizard man, sure I’ll go with!” FOR HIS BOSS! His *BOSS*!!! I have a hard enough time doing my job that I am paid to do for my boss. Sam is a better man that me.

THEN on top of that you tell me he’s a BIG DUMB GOOFY DUDE?! I’m sorry “Sam how dare you eavesdrop on me and Frodo” “there are no eaves in the shire mister Gandalf” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I fear I’m going to fall in love. The way to my heart is undoubtably being a little shit. It’s so over for me.

Of course the conversation itself that Sam listens in on is so juicy, who really could blame him. Mans has never done anything wrong in his life. Like this shit reads like a horror story if you’re Frodo. Or friends with Frodo. Or halfway tolerate Frodo. And to his credit, Frodo takes the news of “hey you inherited the biggest tool of evil doing we’ve ever seen and if you don’t go on this super perilous journey to the heart of evil literally everyone you have ever cared about is gonna be fucked and your home utterly destroyed!!!” remarkably well. Frodo is also a better man than me. Like yeah he tries to get out of it and convince Gandalf to take it for him, but like. I would simply die. Leave it for somebody else to deal with.

HELL, IF FRODO WAS AN EMPLOYER IN TODAY’S WORLD, POOR SAM WOULDVE BEEN FORCED TO CARRY THE WEIGHT AND FRODO WOULDVE FUCKED OFF TO TAHITI. That’s what the much more toxic version of me would do 😂

Anyway. I’ve seen the line about “most people that live in difficult times wish they didn’t” or whatever the direct wording is, which like. I get. Because Frodo is def trying to wiggle out of it. And Gandalf is holding him to the fire which. We all need to be told I guess. BUT the way more interesting thing that Gandalf says (and I actually wrote this one down!)

“Many live that deserve death and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.”

IDK WHY. BUT THAT HITS MAN. Very “death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints” from Hamilton which always knocks me out. There were coherent thoughts I had when I wrote it down - those are gone now lmao. But it’s just like. A very raw line to me and I’m chewing on it for breakfast.

We don’t get to give back life to those who deserve it, so let’s be slower to deal out death. Brutal. And then Frodo still goes on to have zero sympathy whatsoever for Gollum. Like homie, I understand the complicated relationship. You ain’t gotta like him. But even I go like “I don’t understand WHY the fuck you’re so terrible but like. Shit dawg, you’ve been thru it” to people I hate. Idk.

Obviously, Gandalf being the word-smithy wise old man he is convinces both of them to do…whatever he wants (imagine if Gandalf was as corrupt as Saruman and how different that would’ve gone!!!!!) and, again, my mans.

“Yeah I wanna go see elves I’ll help mister Frodo!!!” *immediately passes out*

The biggest fucking mood. I fear I’m in love with a small creature with large hairy feet. Surely this will not be bad for me.

Discussion Post 17th of March

The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (Book I)

Chapter II - The Shadow of the Past

This post is meant as an incentive to start discussing this week's chapter. Feel free to talk about this week's reading or chat with each other in the tags or comments!

If you have a lot to say, or would like to add pictures, GIFs, polls, or anything else your heart desires, submit a post here.

If you need some inspiration, here are some prompts of what you could talk about:

your favorite quote

what was most surprising/exciting/new?

if you've only seen the movies, how did this differ from what you already knew?

something funny or interesting that caught your eye

(If you are here at a later date, do not worry! You are welcome to join in at any time!)

#the blorbofication of Sam Gamgee #fos reads lotr #fellowship of sleep

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obeiii-mee · 3 years ago

Note

MC had a bad day or they’re dealing with a bad loss from a loved one. So they decide to seek comfort from the Brothers! But they don’t do it in a normal way, they just barge in the room where the brothers are all relaxing or hanging out at before MC just busts in getting their attention and they go “I need a hug 🥺”. Let’s see the some fluffy hc’s of the brothers comforting MC 🥰

And how could they not want to hug their cute human that is literally 3 seconds away from breaking down into tears?

The Brothers Comforting MC After A Bad Day:

————————————

You’re right, they wouldn’t be able to resist, they love their human too much 😌

*soBS* I want to hug one of them so bad rn

Thank you for the request, I love writing fluffy HCs, it’s my weak spot and it gives me serotonin. I hope you have a nice day/night!! Uh, it’s sort of implied that MC is slightly shorter than them so sorry if that’s a problem-

————————————

Notes: Fluff, mentions of loss and dead family members/friends, mostly comfort though, short HCs

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beezlebub and Belphegor.

————————————

Lucifer:

-He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t really need to because him just being there, arms wrapped around you and hands lightly running up and down your back, is worth more words than any sort of verbal consolation he could’ve given you and because of this, you feel at ease

-His touch is firm but gentle and you relax almost immediately, burying your head against his chest and feeling him press a kiss on top of your hairline, tightening your hold on him

-He already told his brothers to back off because the last thing he wanted was for you you to get overwhelmed by their insensitivity so you two were left in the living room by yourselves

-In a bit of an awkward position though, because you were both standing and after a while, it was clear a hug wasn’t going to be enough

-That’s his excuse as to why he picked you up bridal style five minutes later and carried you all the way to his bedroom, a place he knows his siblings won’t ever trespass without his permission and somewhere he can shield you from any prying eyes while you’re in this vulnerable state

-At this point, he was basically cradling you like a baby, having you sit on his lap and waiting for you to tire yourself out until you couldn’t cry anymore and watching you slip into that hiccuping stage you get after a breakdown

-Lucifer is obviously going to ask what happened, but whether you answer him or not is up to you because he’s not one to push matters if he sees you’re uncomfortable talking about it

-However, he might insist if he concludes that it’s affecting you and your well being and that’s how you know usually know he’s worried

-His voice is soft though and just listening to it makes you want to tell him everything, whether it’d be something as annoying as a small inconvenience you stumbled across that day or the death of a relative, you feel welcomed enough to spill everything

-Even if you decide not to, he’ll stay with you until you feel better, until you’re no longer crying or shaking or anything of the sort. He speaks occasionally, almost soothingly about how important you are to him and how capable you are of overcoming anything in your way. For the most part, however, he remains quiet and allows you to mull over your thoughts, willing to forget about his paperwork just to let you cling to him for a few hours

-Maybe later, when you’re no longer as distressed, he could get the full story out of you and help you overcome whatever problem you’re having trouble facing but for now, he understands all you need is for him to be there

“MC?” He calls your name out because he was thinking that maybe you had fallen asleep but he realised that was not the case when you looked up at him, streaks of tears still sliding down your cheeks. When you don’t respond, he sighs almost contently “A bit longer?” You don’t answer again but this time, he could feel you nod against him and he smiles despite himself as he leaned his head against yours “All right then, just a bit longer.”

Mammon:

-Truth be told, he’s never been the best at comforting someone and normally, he’s kind of awkward when he wants to show his support because it feels so out of his character

-But it’s not like he was going to refuse you anyway. Not when you specifically came to him and asked him for help and not when you looked like you were on the verge of crying. He’d be a monster to deny you >:(

-It upsets him too, you know. He’s meant to be your protector, guardian even, so the fact that he couldn’t keep you from getting hurt makes him feel like he failed at keeping his human safe. Actually, it takes a lot of convincing on your part just to tell him that you’re not actually physically hurt. Just a shitty day…

-Mammon, despite the walls he puts up ever now and then, is someone that genuinely cares for you. And he’s also the type that does almost everything in excess, especially when it comes to you or spending money. That’s just his personality; he’s loud and boisterous and even though he wants to deny this, completely transparent with his emotions

-You ask for a hug? He gives you plenty of hugs! He lets you lay on top of him while cuddling so he can hold you!!! He brings you snacks and drinks!!! Shit, he basically cradles you the whole night!!! And he’s blushing and acting annoyed the entire time, refusing to accept how much he’s actually enjoying this

-The point is, he tends to coddle you whenever you have a bad day or if you’re really affected by the loss of a dead loved one. This is probably because he, in turn, likes to be babied and cared for when he’s feeling down and he subconsciously does that to you because it’s the only means of comfort he knows how to execute well

-A hug would’ve sufficed, but you’re his human and let him be damned if he’s not gonna give you the world on a silver platter if you keep looking at him with those sad eyes of yours

-By now, if you need anything, you just need to ask because even with a bit of grumbling, he’ll get it for you. More snacks? Say less. Wanna watch TV with him for a while? Immediately reaches for the remote? You just want to cuddle? His body is naturally warm for a reason bby, dig in. You want his heart? Give him a moment to surgically get it out of his chest-

-No matter what, he’s so glad that you trust him enough to talk to him about this sort of stuff and that he’s the first person you think of when you need consolation

-It makes sense after all, right? He’s your first pact so your direct happiness is his responsibility while you’re in DevilDom! It’s his job to make sure you function again by tomorrow morning and that you’re no longer troubled by anything

“Hey! What’s with all the crying huh?” He cups your face in his hands and softly squishes the flesh between his fingers. His thumbs brush over the tears in your eyes and he let’s out a small ‘tsk’ as your foreheads touch and his hands drip to your shoulders to keep you steady “The Great Mammon is hugging ya right now, ya know? There’s no reason for you to be upset, not when I’ve got ya in my arms like this, OK? So you can stop with yer water works now.” As noisy as his voice is, there’s a gentle note behind it when he speaks and embraces you, his cologne spreading everywhere “I love you, ya big idiot. So please, stop cryin’ and lemme hold ya already! Yer making me worried, ya stupid human.”

Levi:

-You stopping by his room is not unusual. In fact, you do it every day and it’s just part of the routine you have with him. However, he’s wasn’t exactly expecting you to stand there, all shaken up and ask him for a hug!!!

-And he doesn’t process this request for a second but then he freaks out so badly-

-Yells incomprehensibly about how you’re ‘pulling your normie tricks on him again’ and how he’s ‘not going to be fooled by them anymore.’

-You raise your head to meet his eyes while he’s still rambling on though and he sees your teary expression and now he feels guilty because you look really upset. Levi’s kinda scared he made it worse-

-He’s the type to usher you in his room and lock the door as usual but instead of doing what the two of you always do, you literally stay attached to him because you need comfort damn it!

-Levi….is sort of clueless about these emotional outbursts since he himself doesn’t deal with them very well. However, he’s watched enough animes revolving around romance to conclude on the best course of action so-do not fear! (Spoiler, he still doesn’t know what he’s doing)

-He’s really stuck and can either stay as quiet as a nun or start babbling in a language you probably wouldn’t even understand because he’s so nervous

-Or actually, he might start crying with you if I’m being fair; he’s very in sync with his Henry and your emotions

-Once he calms down, he’s actually not all that bad at comforting. Levi is a bit stand offish with his hugs at first but he relaxes into them and by now, you’re both standing by the side of his bed, with you leaning onto him and him holding your hand. He then intertwines your fingers together but subconsciously because he wouldn’t have the gall otherwise

-Later, he tells you to help yourself with the snacks he has hidden in his room. I guarantee you he has a whole ass mini refrigerator hidden somewhere for his all night gaming session, in case he needs any boosts. No one knows how Beel hasn’t found the stash yet and there’s no need to tell him

-Then you watch re runs of old shows together and make fun of the shitty editing and dialogue. He’s still holding your hand though and he’s really flustered and wondering if it’s too sweaty for you but don’t mention it because he’ll get even more embarrassed

-He glances over to you, every once in a while, whilst you’re cuddled up against his arm, eyes glued on the TV, to make sure you’re OK. You almost gave him a seizure or at least that’s how he felt-so he made it his mission to make you feel better by any means necessary. Fuck today’s raids, his team can get them done without him!!

“I-I don’t know why you would want me of all people to hug you but…” he trailed off in a whisper, having to lean down so you could wrap your arms against his neck and bury your head in his shoulder. He pulled you in closer, a streak of protectiveness coursing through him as he shut the door to his room with his foot “Lord of the Shadows would never leave Henry all on his own, so I’m not going to do that either. This is an important character development arc and-just, please don’t cry. I’ll give you more hugs, OK? Seeing you like this is not good for my heart-“ stopped mid sentence after realising what he just said and now he’s the one burying his head in your shoulder, flushed beyond hell “Forget I just said that! Holy Lord Diavolo this is embarrassing, why am I like this????”

Satan:

-It troubles him greatly to see you like this and he can sort of feel the world shift out of place, seeing you with tears running down your face and hands balled into fists out of frustration almost immediately makes him fly into a fit of rage because who would dare to hurt you-

-Oh, a hug? If that’s all you need, he’s more than happy to oblige but if you’re as distraught as you seem to be, he wonders if just a small embrace from him would be enough

-Satan’s hugs are very intimate and even passionate at times. He has one hand on the back of your head and the other supporting your lower back while you bawl your eyes out into his shoulder and getting his uniform wet

-You can’t really seem to focus on what he’s trying to tell you because he’s so warm and welcoming and even though he’s someone as renowned as the Avatar of Wrath, he’s shockingly patient with you as you let out the overwhelming emotions that have been consuming you all day

-It’s hard to not relax when you’re in Satan’s presence because he’s calm and he smells like musty, old books and mahogany wood and cats, meaning he was most likely cuddling strays he found on the street the entire day. The first visual that comes to mind is fire crackling behind a grate in a chimney and someone reading a book while swinging back and forth on an old, rickety chair when you’re around him

-He will wait until you’re no longer crying and then, before you know it, you find yourself in the library with him, drinking tea and being handed a plate of biscuits he took from the kitchen to help you regain your strength after all that crying. You’re still feeling pretty miserable about the day you’ve had but you quickly lose yourself in a conversation with him over a cup of tea

-Sometimes, you two talk for hours on end about nothing important just to hear each other’s voices and finally have some quality time spent together. Even though he wishes the circumstances were better, he’s glad to have been able to snatch you away from his brothers for a while and he’s even happier you chose him to confide in

-Satan practically doesn’t even mention your outburst and keeps the small talk minimal but he wants you to know that if you do wish to tell him about it, he’s more than happy to listen and he’s not so bad at giving advice either

-The topic of the discussion you were having with him changed abruptly by the end of the night and now you’re reading together from this book he started a while ago, both of you covered with a blanket, your head on his chest and his leaning on yours. He’s holding the book with both of his hands, but still managed to get his left wrapped around you. And because of this feeling of safety and warmth, you don’t feel desperate anymore. Tomorrow, you’ll be able to sort out your feelings but now, you’re content to just listening to Satan read, in his clear, soft voice

“Ah MC, could you turn the page for me?” You do as he asked to and you could feel him smiling as he kissed your hairline, sighing before going back to the book and the story within “Thank you. You truly are amazing, did you know that? I’ve never met someone as caring and as kind as you. Well, I suppose Beel could compete for the title but unlike him, you don’t really leave us in debt whenever we visit the grocery store.” Hearing you laugh makes him smile even more and he lets you hold the other side of the book while he plays with your hair and now you join in reading with him, out loud and trying to act out voices for the characters. As everything unfolds, Satan feels the world click right back into place.

Asmo:

-It’s a known fact by now that Asmo is willing to give you any sort of affection at any point in time, whether it’d be a hug, a kiss, holding your hand-you name it! I mean, whenever he’s feeling down, you being there to encourage him helps a lot so it’s only natural it works the other way around too!

-If he notices that you’re genuinely upset by something, then he would have no problem whatsoever with lavishing you in attention and really, a hug or two from him is the bare minimum in situations like this

-In any case, he always enjoys fussing over you and you having a bad day is the perfect excuse for him to do so! After all, he can’t disappoint you since you came to him with your troubles and he will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Actually, if he could, he would keep hugging you forever but as miraculous as his charm can be, it’s not effective against someone with this low of a morale

-His first suggestion is to take a bath! It’s his way of taking care of you; you’re tired after such a long day and he feels like you’re neglecting yourself a little because of it. So you relax in his bathtub with him for a while, him actively trying to get your mind off any bad, lingering thoughts while you splash around in the bubbles

-And obviously after that, you need to have your mandatory spa sessions with him since you need to unwind and what’s a better way to do that than to let him paint your nails and apply lotion to your skin? Besides, it creates a great opportunity for you to take things off your chest

-He’s in need to hear gossip constantly so if you don’t feel like talking, he’s gonna be a bit bummed out but he still respects your wishes enough to not push you. If your problem is as sensitive as the death of a family member, you’re not obligated to talk to him about it and he will understand, since people grieve in different ways. He too shut down after the death of Lilith for a while after all

-A bad day is nothing Asmo can’t handle. He’s had plenty of those before, mostly because of Mammon and his thievery, they’re usually common factors. It’s only natural you experience those yourself and he’s more than willing to be your support system if you need one. He wants you to know that you can go to him if you need advice or help with anything, or even if you just need to someone to hear you out

-To give a more detailed explanation of his hugs, they are usually really light and you never feel suffocated when you’re in his arms. He never squeezes you too tight and he always smells amazing, so you feel inclined to stay near him for as long as possible. Despite his overtly loud nature, he gets incredibly soft spoken with you and he traces patterns on your back and arms as you stand there together

-It’s important to mention, he never pulls away from you first. He lets you decide when you’ve had enough and when you’re ready to move on or if you require some other means of comfort

-And even if you’re no longer disgruntled, he’s still going to pamper you as much as possible the next day with either a shopping spree or another few spa sessions, this time done at a professional institution rather than the privacy of his bedroom

-Asmo is in touch with your emotions and it’s kinda scary sometimes because of how well he can read you, since he almost always knows what you need

“Oh darling, how could I refuse a hug from you?” You can feel his arms embrace you, even with your eyes closed and for some reason, this makes you cry even harder, sobbing as he tries to comfort you. You’re aware he let go of you at some point and returned with a tissue to dab away at your tears, gently to not hurt your eyes and now he’s hugging you again, a wry smile on his face “You don’t have to worry about a thing, MC. Everything will get sorted out, I promise. In the meantime, come to me if anything troubles you again, OK? No more crying, darling-it’s bad for your eyes.”

Beel:

-The type to immediately lean in for a hug without even questioning why. As soon as you ask him, you barely have time to finish the question and you already find yourself in his arms. The only exception would be when he’s eating or maybe in the middle of a work out but the point is he doesn’t hesitate much when it comes to you. And I mean, he loves hugs just as much as his siblings do

-Beel is not the most observant and he may not realise you’re in a bad mood unless you tell him outright. It’s not even that he’s emotionally distant, it’s just that if you tell him that you’re fine, then he’s gonna take your word for it and believe you since he’s pretty straightforward with his feelings as well. However, as dense as he may be on occasion, even he’s bound to notice that you’re not being your usual self and this is especially true if you start crying out of nowhere while he’s nearby. Probably assumes the worst and is under the impression that he did something to upset you because shifting the blame onto himself whenever others suffer is his coping mechanism and we’ve seen him to do it before

-If you’ve just had a bad day, he understands that things could’ve been very overwhelming for you and he wishes he had known sooner so he could’ve helped back then, instead of letting it come to this. But he doesn’t hesitate all that much since he looks like he’s built for giving hugs on a daily basis. I’m not even sure this would classify as a hug since you’re not touching the floor. Rather, you are attached to him like a koala and he’s carrying you around as if you were a baby strapped to his chest. And he genuinely doesn’t mind. He’s been doing it with Belphie for centuries now

-Please, after a while he gets seriously concerned because are humans supposed to cry this much? What if you dehydrate or something? So he makes you stay in bed and just gives you plenty of water. You look so pale and sad, he shares his food with you too because his heart is aching just looking at you like this. He feels like besides being there, he can’t provide you with much help and he’s starting to think he’s hopeless at comforting

-If a family member died then…Beel is one of the best people you could’ve gone to. Honestly, having dealt with his sister’s situation, he knows how horrible it is to lose somebody you love dearly (I mean, all the brothers do but I’m making a point saying Beel, Belphie and Lucifer were especially affected). Now he’s sad himself since he’s aware that you’re going through something similar and his twin might walk in on the two of you being emotional on the floor

-For the most part, Beel makes sure you keep yourself healthy even when you’re tired and depressed. Continues to bring you food, even if he eats half of it on his way to your room, and just keeps you company in general in case you get lonely. Seeing you upset makes him even more considerate of your feelings and you don’t have the heart to tell him that he doesn’t need to stay with you all night. He thinks he does because you’ve always offered to stay with him whenever he’s had nightmares before so how he’s gotta return the favour

-Beel gives these bear hugs all the time, since he’s so big and his hand basically covers your entire back. So, more often than not, you end up cuddling while standing because he’s a lot taller than you, with him being a demon and all. Despite that, you feel so unbelievably complete when he holds you like this. It’s hard not to feel protected since his whole body is practically concealing yours so easily all the time and you feel sheltered from the world and it’s….nice

-And Beel enjoys hugging you too, because he knows that as long as he’s nearby, you’ll be safe and that’s really all he needs. He wants to be there for you the same way you were there for him when he needed it most and comforting you when you’re having a shitty day is like his full time job

-You could come to Beel with any problem and he would never judge you, no matter what. He’s just really unproblematic and he just wants you to go back to your normal self because it hurts him to see you cry your eyes out. Now, not only are hugs mandatory but holding your hand is too. It’s like hugging…but your hands are doing the hugging

-Definitely even goes to Belphie after a while if he really doesn’t know what to do and that’s how you know he’s desperate to do something. Since the Seventh Born isn’t exactly someone that yields great advice, more so when it comes to other…people….and his twin knows this-

-Beel’s best strategy at the moment is to just maintain some kind of physical contact because he discovered that makes you feel better and it calms you down more than him trying to verbally console you. He even invited you to sleep in his room if you’re comfortable doing so just so you’re not alone. After that one incident, he’s trying to coax you to tell him whenever something is wrong so he can jump in and help, because that’s all he really wants to do ahakenksms

“MC? Did something happen?” He’s honestly taken aback by how shaky you are and how you’re hands are trembling as they’re reaching to connect with his. Without much of a warning, he feels a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach and now he discovers that he doesn’t like seeing you with tears trailing down your face. And he feels worse the longer you wail in his chest and he doesn’t know what to do. So, he wraps his arms around you so tight you think you might explode, strangely comforted by the feeling as he speaks again “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you. What can I do to help, MC? We can just stay like this for a while if you want” And when he sees you nod, he proceeds to not move an inch almost the entire night. Obviously, hunger overtook him eventually but he shared his stolen goods with you so can you really complain? Doubtful, not when he hasn’t let go of your hand the whole time.

Belphie:

- Hugging him is a gamble. Realistically speaking, you’re not going to catch him standing upright long enough for you to give him a hug. He’s laying on the floor somewhere, asleep so you shouldn’t expect much from him to begin with. Even if you were to get lucky and stumble upon him while he’s wide awake, he might slump over and succumb to sleep the moment you embrace him because you’re so warm

-Cuddling is a different story altogether. He’d rather shoot himself in the foot than not have you cuddle with him so if you need to be babied for once, he’s a pretty good option to consider

-As usual, he’s in the attic and you go to him because it’s really late and you didn’t want to wake up any of the other brothers. Actually, Belphie is normally awake by dusk so to see him sleep like a log past midnight was quite surprising. You didn’t exactly want to interrupt but if you stayed alone for any longer, you would’ve gone insane. So you shook him awake. And he was understandably confused and probably forgot what planet he was on for a minute when you did so

-Technically, he was half awake and from his point of view, everything must’ve been pretty blurry. He did see you; the problem was that because he was still feeling very sleepy, he was basically in a daze and could only squint at you to try and figure out if you were really there or if he was hallucinating. His suspicion was confirmed soon enough because he reached out after a few seconds and poked your cheek just to check. His face the entire time and the action itself was so amusing that, despite tittering on the edge of a breakdown, you burst out laughing

-Once he came to the conclusion that you were, in fact, real and he wasn’t dreaming, he sighed and opened his arms out for you; a direct invitation to cuddle with him. By now, he likely didn’t even noticed you looked sad because, as I said, he was all over the place but this little ritual you two have was common enough that it got engraved in his memory. Now he does it out of impulse whenever you’re around and he wants attention

-So you basically tackled him and threw yourself on top of him so hard, both of you toppled over on the bed and now you were used as a blanket, with his arms wrapped securely around you; preventing you from getting up. Not that you were planning on doing that anytime soon but moving on-

-You thought he had fallen back asleep, because he went really quiet and he stopped squirming to get comfortable. To be exact, the whole room was rather still and the only thing you could really hear was Belphie’s soft breathing and the rustle of the bedsheets every once in a while. And since it was extremely dark as well, you couldn’t see a thing either so it felt like the best place to let go of your stress

-It’s not like you were making much noise but as I said, the seventh born wasn’t sleeping just yet. And he wouldn’t be able to because it was obvious to him now that something was wrong. He believed that he was bearing witness to something that should’ve been a lot more private than this so he didn’t say anything. You should have your moment, let you have a chance to recollect your thoughts and the next day, he might ask you

-It was too much to handle. It’s not like he was gonna get any sleep unless he knew your problem was solved otherwise he might get nightmares all night. Besides, if you’re crying this much, then something terrible must’ve happened. You realised he was awake when he gave your entire body a small squeeze, as if to reassure you and you froze because did you just wake him up???? Or worse, did he hear all that sobbing you were doing????

-Hugging him is similar to hugging a pillow. He’s soft and squishy and warm and it’s impossible to resist him when rest at a time like this is so tempting. His fingers running over your pact mark once or twice, as if to remind you that he’s right there and low whispers describing the best dream he ever had about you, hoping to distract you for long enough to help you fall asleep

-To him, it doesn’t make a difference if a family member died or if you’re just having a bad day. All he knows is that you’re having a lot of emotional problems because of either one and as a result, you need a shoulder to lean on. He’s glad that you trust him enough to let him assist and if it was up to him, he would keep cuddling you forever. You’ve already suffered enough so let him take care of you this time around, OK?

“Dumbass, why are you crying?” The gentleness of his words was a clear contrast to that quick insult he shoved at the beginning of his statement, though you couldn’t hear any malice behind it and the fact that he really cared about what happened to cause you to struggle with your emotions so badly, would’ve made you wail even harder. However, he managed to silence you pretty well because he kept speaking and you wanted to listen; you wanted to hear what he had to say so you reduced your sobs and you sat quietly enough to do just that. Belphie flipped you over, now with him on top and you underneath and he laid there, cheek sloshed against yours as he sleepily mumbled out more praise for you, “MC, are you tired? You should go to bed, you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow, you can tell me what the problem is and I’ll help. I promise-I’ll even get up early for you. Just…please calm down. I don’t want to see you crying yourself to sleep ever again. I’ll stay here the entire time, alright? And I’ll make sure you have nice dreams tonight MC…just let me hold you…”

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duckprintspress · 3 years ago

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Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

Have a question about writing? Drop us an ask!

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#duck prints press #original content #writing advice #sort of

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viaviainternet · 2 years ago

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okay i’m making this post strictly about ellie because, yes, she gets love from the fandom, but not enough love. so i’m making it my job to make this post about her

so i’m going to start with like things she’d enjoy (music, movies, books, etc.)

okay, so with music, OBVIOUSLY lorde. the way ellie manages to be every single song in lorde’s discography amazes me.

obviously a swiftie. i mean come on, she has august written all over her.

she also gives me major debut vibes?? maybe it’s just the hippie-nature-esque about her, but i know she’s rocking out to picture to burn and our song.

she also cries to the archer. she IS the archer.

she is also a ldr fan. not in the jealous girl/unreleased music type of fan, but the nfr/lfl/ultraviolence type of fan

she’s the type of person who makes playlists for literally any type of occasion

she for sure had a melanie martinez/marina and the diamonds/ mars argo phase in middle school. no doubt.

literally anytime she’s playing taylor swift, she makes everyone stop their conversations so no one talks through the song’s bridge.

i feel like she’d secretly be good at singing. she plays it down when singing songs at parties and shit, forcing her voice to be bad, but if she actually tried she’s pretty good.

movies! okay, so, yes, canonically ellie doesn’t watch movies or shows, but i think when she told david that when they first met, he couldn’t believe it, and every night they watched a different movie.

i think she’d really enjoy the movies black swan, and jennifer’s body (i mean, it’s natalie portman and megan fox, who wouldn’t).

and scott pilgrim^. and i love how whenever i post about ellie, michael cera somehow shows up.

when david and ellie watched pitch perfect together, she literally memorized the entire riffoff from the first movie.

she also ironically (but also unironically) LOVES the percy jackson movies.

okay now on to books! i don’t think she’d read much, just because it’s not really her thing, but i do think she has a couple favorites.

i know for a fact one of her favorite books is the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, AND daisy jones and the six. and she cried at both.

okay now these are just going to be random headcannons of her

whenever she gets into arguments, and if it’s getting really heated, she’ll just start yelling at the person she’s arguing with in french, and that’ll normally shut them up. and no one knows what she’s saying, and they’re too scared to ask

she’d give really good hugs. just like genuine hugs that instantly make you feel better.

everyday on the first day of school, when she meets her new science teachers, they always make a periodic table of elements joke, because her name is element. it used to be annoyed by it, but then she just started using it for herself, and her new instagram handle is “@/periodictableofelement”. she also uses that joke when she’s actually on her period, and she finds it to be the funniest thing in the world

she still has her childhood stuffed animal, and sometimes even sleeps with it when she’s upset

she has this exact tapestry hanging in her room at ellingham:

after the party on the first day of school, she noticed how david was looking at stevie, and kept teasing him about how he was giving her the googley eyes. she was hands down their biggest shipper, and kept it on the dow low

she spends literally all of class on pinterest. she considers it a “hobby”

she sends random pictures of young justin bieber (like bowl cut bieber) to david during classes when she’s bored, and he’s gotten in trouble from accidentally laughing to loudly

she wears a ring on every finger, and most of the time they’re fake, so her fingers are always just green, and she’s learned to deal with it and actually pulls it off, and makes it look cute

she makes friendship bracelets with david.

she made her own junior jewels shirt, and after she met the new minerva students, she made them all sign it

okay so those are all i can think of right now!! i hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as i enjoyed writing it :)) i want to keep making posts about ellie since no one does, so hopefully in the future i will

#truly devious #ellie walker #ellie walker headcannons #stevie bell #david eastman #janelle franklin #nate fisher #hayes major #nine liars #taylor swift #the vanishing stair #the hand on the wall #the box in the woods #i love ellie so much #she deserved so much better :/#michael cera…

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years ago

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 14) - Keep Close

Summary: The Ackles have the Padalecki’s over for dinner and let it slip that they’re engaged. Things seem to be going well but the anniversary of the accident is coming up and the reader comes up with the Ackles taking their first vacation together as a means of distracting Jensen as well reconnecting with Ray...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of sex, mention of a dead parent/spouse, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

“I’m stuffed,” said Jensen that night, the kids running around playing soccer in the yard after dinner.

“I need that chicken recipe,” said Jared.

“I’ll write it down for you guys,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “You can do it with breast too if you like that better.”

“I want exactly this like, everyday from now on,” said Jared. Gen rolled her eyes and Jensen pulled out his phone. “Want me to take a pic?”

“I don’t need your freakishly long arms just yet,” chuckled Jensen. He turned around and took one of the four of you at the table before handing off his phone. “Mind getting one of us?”

“Your mom harassing you for engagement photos already?” asked Gen.

“By the time we were leaving they were both asking for photos and being obnoxious. Better than they were though,” said Jensen, smiling beside you. Jared took a few more and handed the phone back.

“I still can’t believe your parents would act like that,” said Gen. “I mean obviously I’m super happy it got fixed but that’s so unlike them.”

“They made a mistake is all,” you said with a smile. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to finish this beer in the pool.”

“I think I’ll join you,” said Jared. He stood up and had a look on his face you caught too late. Before you knew it he had you picked up and was jogging over to the deep end and jumping in with you.

“Jared!” you said when you popped up. He giggled and swam off to the shallow end. “After I helped pick up the plates ya big lug.”

“We got it,” said Jensen, carrying over two beer cans and handing them to you. “We’ll join you guys in a few.”

About ten minutes later Jensen was leaning against the side of the pool in his bright red swim trunks, handing you the other half of his cookie cake piece.

“So any big plans for the wedding?” asked Jared, sat on the pool steps with Gen.

“I have a thought,” you said, turning to Jensen. “I haven’t discussed it with Jensen yet.”

“Vegas. Shotgun wedding,” he laughed. You shook your head and he grinned. “You’re thinking the farm, aren’t you.”

“What do you think? It could be outdoor or indoor, whatever it needs to be depending on the weather.”

“I’d love that,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “That’d be perfect for us.”

“You own a farm?” asked Jared.

“Yeah, ten minutes from the brewery.”

“Dudes. You can open bar with your own beer. Oh and dibs on being a groomsmen.”

“Like that wasn’t gonna happen,” said Jensen.

“I don’t know on that,” you said. Jared’s face fell and you shook your head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be one. Of course you would. I just don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. I think it’d be weird if Jensen had a ton and…”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” said Gen. “We didn’t have an even number at our wedding.”

“We got time to figure that stuff out,” said Jensen, holding your waist. You finished the last bite of cookie and hummed.

“So you two having a kid?” asked Jared. Gen whacked his chest and he shrugged.

“Jesus, Jare. Don’t ask that.”

“They’re our best friends and godparents to our children...although I guess Y/N didn’t know that she inherited that until now but come on, I know you’re wondering too.”

“Shut up,” said Gen, crossing her arms. “Obviously if they decide, they’ll tell us when it happens.”

“Yeah, I think there’ll be at least one,” you laughed. Gen lit up and turned to Jared.

“Last time they said they were having a baby guess what we did? I can’t handle no more babies,” said Jared.

“Can you even get that thing up anymore?” teased Jensen, sipping on his beer.

“You’re one to talk, old man.”

“That shit still works just fine.”

“Just fine?” shot back Jared.

“Oh my God. You’re both good at sex. Y/N be grateful you’ve missed this same conversation over and over for the past sixteen odd years,” said Gen.

“I’m still taller,” said Jared with a smirk.

“I can last longer,” said Jensen with one of his own. They narrowed their eyes at one another and Jared stood up.

“Go wrestle on the grass,” groaned Gen. They both huffed and got out of the pool before starting to playfully wrestle. “See, what you may not realize yet is you have another child right there.”

“Yeah but he’s hot,” you said, Gen laughing while you sat beside her. “Do you guys really talk about sex with each other?”

“Yes and no. The boys are you know, boys. They’d combust if they didn’t tease each other. I wouldn’t say there’s like, intimate details or anything ever shared. They’re both pretty private about that sort of thing. Dee and I would talk but more so say we had fun the night before. Shit we probably talked about sex toys more than anything.”

You stopped mid sip of your beer and she laughed.

“When your guy is thousands of miles away for that long out of the year, you gotta get off on your own. You get pretty good at phone sex too. You’re lucky. Jensen won’t be staying away so long ever again he said.”

“No, no. But uh...before Jensen I’d had the same boyfriend forever and he was as vanilla as could be. We didn’t do that stuff really together.”

“I can text you some links to stuff. It’s not like you have to go in some scary store or anything. It’s discrete and I think a small vibe would be great to start with. You can use it during sex or foreplay or whatever. Just you know, have fun.”

“Jensen and I kinda got busted by the cops a week or so back for...activities in the backseat,” you said. She started to laugh and you groaned. “Thankfully it was his friend that caught us so he let us off the hook but...it was kinda fun.”

“Good,” she said, sighing as Jensen pinned Jared down. “Hey so yeah about that wedding thing. Jared had two more groomsmen than I had girls. It doesn’t have to be matchy, matchy, you know?”

“I know. I don’t know if…” you trailed off. “I lost my friend group when I broke it off with my last boyfriend. We’d been together for over ten years and I kept turning down his proposals and they didn’t like that. I have some nanny friends but not a lot and no one I’m really close to. I don’t know if I’d even get more than five people to come for me. Everyone else is his family and friends and I didn’t think about that until just now. I mean what would they think, seeing that? I don’t know if I even want anyone there now.”

“I think what they’d see is someone they care about marrying someone he loves. Just because we’re Jensen’s friends doesn’t mean we’re not your friends too. I know we’re still getting to know each other but we’ll be as close as those two eventually. Ruthie was texting me and we’re having a girls night the next convention in Dallas. You literally have a built in crew ready to go from the show, the girls and the guys. You are so coming with me to the next night I have with my local girlfriends and you got our family. You even got Dee’s parents. You have more than you know, sweetie.”

“I never had a best friend growing up except for my mom. Until Jensen,” you said. “I’ve never really been good at the friend thing.”

“Were you bullied in school?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t tell anyone besides Jared but my dad wasn’t a good person. He hurt me and so I was afraid of getting in trouble so I didn’t talk to other kids all that much until I got old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong and that’s how I ended up being adopted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do anything about it now. But I can have it not control my life too. I’ve been pretty good since I was nine in that department. My mom dying sucked and things have been up and down but I like where I am now. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Jens’s not perfect.”

“I know. But he’s good enough. He gave me a certain confidence to live my life, like really live it.”

“He’s alright,” she smiled. “You know I have an idea about this bridesmaids thing you might like.”

“You?”

“Oh I would for sure but I meant more so I know two little girls that wouldn’t mind. Maybe there’s a boy too,” she said.

“I’m gonna need you to be my wedding planner at this rate,” you said.

“Job accepted,” she said. “I say we go farmhouse modern style.”

“Gen. I got engaged like two weeks ago. We have time,” you said. “We don’t even have a date.”

“At the very least can we go dress shopping?” she asked.

“I’m going to regret this,” you sighed as Jensen stepped back in the water.

“Get yourself a stronger man, Padalecki. That one is weak,” he said. Jared followed him right after and went to tackle him when Gen caught his arm.

“Boys, not in the water,” she said.

“Chicken?” asked Jensen.

“Losers pick up the tab for when we go out this weekend for dinner. Deal?” asked Jared.

“Well in that case, you’re on.”

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair while he absentmindedly burnt some eggs. “You okay babe?”

“Yeah. We ought to pack up the kids, get on the road soon if we’re gonna hit the beach.”

“I’m gonna drive, okay?” you asked. He nodded and you got out the eggs again, making up a new batch. “Do you want to talk to Ray?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, leaning back against the counter.

“Anniversaries of traumatic events can be triggering,” you said. “My mom died two days ago. Well, you know what I mean.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t trigger me anymore. But it did and this is the first time...the first one is the roughest.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ought to talk to him.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll give him a call and get the kids ready while you guys talk, okay?” you said.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed his cheek and hugged him before you went upstairs for your phone. It rang a few times but Ray finally answered, noise in the background.

“Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Hey. Yeah. We’re...we’re pretty good. Today’s the first anniversary of Jensen’s-”

“Ah. I understand.”

“Listen, I know it’s a Sunday and you don’t work the weekends but would you mind talking to him for a few minutes? We’re going down to Galveston for the week in a bit but he’s off this morning.”

“I’d talk to him even if he wasn’t your fiance but especially because of that. You know we’re actually down here ourselves for a few days. Just got down yesterday. If you guys are around...maybe we could get together for that swim.”

“I’d like that. You okay?” you asked.

“I always get a little down on the day but Sarah understands. You understand.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna put Jensen on and um, maybe we can meet at Arillo’s for dinner?”

“We got a reservation there ourselves tonight. How many in your crew? Five? I’ll call and ask for an update.”

“Yeah there’s five of us. Um, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being so horrible as a teenager after mom. You loved her as much as I did.”

“Thank you but you don’t have to apologize for that. You got too much pain in your life. I’m glad you found the good stuff too.”

“Are Geroge and Taylor there?” you asked.

“Yeah kids are here. Taylor’s got some internship but she does it online half the day and George is some research assistant thing for one of his professors but same kinda deal. We leave them to work in the morning while Sarah and I have some fun. Want me to let them know you’re coming?”

“Probably a good idea. Not sure how they’ll react,” you said, Jensen poking his head into the bedroom. “Here’s Jensen.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll see you guys soon.”

You handed the phone to Jensen and finished up packing while he sat on the bed. You tried to leave him be but couldn’t help listening in.

“Yeah I’m anxious...I don’t want her to drive down today...you know why...I guess...probably...I don’t want to be freaking out for three hours in the car...because it’s today...I know...I know...so I have to suck it up...I don’t want to have a panic attack in the car with the kids...no I haven’t...I’m scared I will though...yeah...I understand...dude that sounds so stupid...that’s not medically anything...no I don’t have my doctorate...I don’t wanna ask her...I said I don’t want to, not that I wouldn’t...I know...I will...maybe I’ll try that too...yeah, Y/N said the first year is the roughest too...I’ll let her be in charge until we get down to the beach today. I think I’ll feel better after the car...yeah I kinda figured out what she was doing planning a trip on today of all days...I need it...really? Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting up down there too...thanks Ray.”

You finished with your suitcase and had his open for him when he walked into the closet. He swallowed and handed your phone back.

“All good?” you asked.

“Ray thought it might be a good idea if I had something of yours with me on the way down, to keep on me since I’m...anxious this morning about being in a car.”

“Something of mine…” you said, looking at your side of the closet. “Why don’t you pack up and I’ll get you something before the road, okay?”

He nodded and twenty minutes and about three bathroom trips later the SUV was packed up. You hopped behind the wheel, Jensen tapping the arm rest from the passenger seat.

“Here,” you said, reaching into your pocket, pulling out a bracelet. It was fabric, the kind made from craft string, white, rusty orange and a light tan color mixed together.

“I’ve never seen this,” he said as he held it between his fingers.

“I got it on vacation with mom and Ray. Last one we went on,” you said, tying it around his wrist. “You have it.”

He stared at you as you turned the engine on, watching you backout.

“This is too important for me to take,” he said quietly.

“It’s fabric. I want you to have it, okay?” you said, pulling onto the street and closing the gate. He nodded and you turned the radio on low. “Coffee run?”

“Yeah. Coffee sounds good right about now.”

You were only about fifteen or so minutes away from the beach house you’d rented. The kids were either taking naps in the backseats or watching a movie on the ipad. You risked a glance at Jensen, his fingers absently toying with the bracelet while he looked out the window, the radio on low.

“How you doing big guy?” you asked as you pulled off to the exit ramp.

“Pretty good now,” he said softly.

“Mind navigating for me?” you asked. He hummed and picked up your phone from where it sat in the console the past few hours. About twenty minutes or so you were stretching outside of the car, Jensen opening the front door of the house with the code you’d been given. The kids climbed out and were good about each taking their own backpacks while you and Jensen gathered up the rest.

“Come here,” he said, leaving the bags by his feet and kissing you against the side of the car. You grinned and he picked you up in a big squeezing hug. “I love you.”

“I know,” you said. He set you down and kissed you again. “You seem like yourself again.”

“I needed that push, get over that fear. But now, I can enjoy my day with my girl and my kiddos and apparently we are having dinner with Ray and his family tonight?” he asked.

“If that’s alright,” you said.

“One hundred percent,” he said, Arrow jumping up and down nearby. “Honey, go use the bathroom in the house if you have to go.”

“No I’m excited!” she said. “Can we go play on the beach? Pretty please?”

“Hm, give daddy fifteen minutes and then we can go?” he asked. She turned to you and grinned.

“We’ll go really soon sweetie. I promise.”

“Hey guys,” said Jensen an hour later, the five of you down on the beach and mostly watching them build a sandcastle together. “Y/N and I want to tell you something.”

“Is it that you guys are getting married?” asked JJ, patting some sand with her shovel. You glanced at Jensen and he shrugged. “You were talking to Aunt Gen and Uncle Jared about it last night, right?”

“Well, yes we were,” said Jensen. “I suppose we were a little louder than we thought. But yes, Y/N and I have decided to get married. We’re not sure when exactly but in the next year I can say.”

“So we have a mom again?” asked Arrow, fixing her corner of the castle that kept caving in.

“Well you guys are kinda lucky. You’ll get two moms,” he said. “How’s that sound?”

“We missed mom’s day,” she said with a sigh. “Right?”

“We’ll catch it next year, promise,” said Jensen. “Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“Do we call you mom now?” asked JJ.

“You guys call me whatever you want,” you said.

“Can we call you mom?” she asked. You nodded and she went back to playing in the sand.

“Anything else guys?” asked Jensen.

“Can I get a giraffe?” asked Zeppelin while he figured out how much water to add to the sand to get it to stick together.

“No sweetie. They wouldn’t fit at our house,” said Jensen.

“Darn it,” he said.

“I can tell you’re all so invested in this topic,” chuckled Jensen.

“Oh! Can my flower girl dress be purple?” asked JJ.

“Your dress can be whatever color you want it to be,” you said.

“Awesome,” she said. “Or black and purple. With lightning stripes.”

“Ah, I knew the classic rock would finally pay off,” said Jensen.

“Maybe Daddy’s suit can be black and white stripes, like a tiger,” you said.

“Like a White Snake music video more like it,” he laughed. “We’ll figure all that stuff out. We wanted to make sure you guys knew was all and if you have any questions or were nervous or anything you know you can ask either one of us.”

“Mom makes you happy again. Of course you gotta marry her!” said Arrow. “Oh and get her a pony. Girls like that.”

“Would you care for a pony, sweetheart?” asked Jensen as he shook his head.

“Are we talking mustang kind of pony?” you asked.

“That’s my girl,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, kissing your cheek. “Let dad get a picture of you guys. We’re on vacation after all.”

Five Hours Later

“Jensen,” you said, changing into a light summer top and a pair of denim shorts after your shower. He was standing by his suitcase undressed, trailing his finger over his scar. “Honey?”

“A year ago was the worst day of my life and today was a really great one. I get to meet Ray more and even Sarah and the kids who all sound great and...I’m really happy I’m still here to see all this.”

“Me too,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Wear your red underwear.”

“Is that a request?”

“I like how you look when you take it off,” you said, gently smacking his ass as you went to go fix your hair.

“I am so grateful I found you,” he said to himself. You smiled and brushed your teeth quickly before checking yourself over and taking a selfie. You sat up on the counter and opened instagram, still silently grateful you’d always had it on private. There was nothing bad on it but Jensen and Jared had tagged you before and all of the comments always seemed to be negative.

“How do I look?” asked Jensen, walking in wearing a short sleeve navy button down and his red underwear.

“So sexy,” you giggled, Jensen digging through his other bag and finding his khaki shorts.

“Can I get away with sneakers and a backwards baseball cap at this restaurant?” he asked.

“Totally. We always eat outside. It’s near the pier,” you said, putting up your post.

“Taking more pictures I can show off of you again?” he asked, grabbing your brush and getting some control of his damp hair back.

“Nobody even sees my instagram hardly,” you said.

“You know the internet knows we’re dating, right.”

“I’m pretty sure your fans still aren’t okay with that fact, even if they know.”

“Oh you’re mistaking the nutjobs for actual fans. The real ones, those guys are cool and nice. I actually got a lot of care packages and things from them last year. Still do. They really are good people. Those other ones that leave nasty comments? Fuck them. That shit don’t bother me anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying family and friends know. Can I show off the woman I love to the world?” You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in front of you, his head cocking.

“Yeah,” you said. “Better late than never.”

“Okay,” he said. “For now though, I’m looking forward to this dinner.”

“I hope it goes well. It’s George and Taylor I’m more worried about. They were kids when I decided to stop coming around. I only knew them maybe two years, if even that. I know they were upset.”

“Give them some credit. Ray raised them too after all.”

“I’m all set!” said Zeppelin, walking into the bathroom with his paw patrol shirt and nothing else on.

“At least I was gonna wear underwear,” chuckled Jensen. “Little dude. Get some undies on and shorts in the next two minutes or else…” he trailed off as he came in and hugged Jensen’s leg.

“I love you, daddy,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Can we get a giraffe now?” he asked. Jensen rolled his eyes and you released him.

“Let’s go finish getting you dressed, buddy.”

“So you guys were Sarah’s fosters?” asked Jensen towards the end of dinner, all three kids passed out asleep in the stroller or on the bench besides you while you picked at your shared dessert. Neither George or Taylor had said much aside from introducing themselves.

“Guys,” said Ray, nudging Taylor. “I’m sorry for our children’s rudeness. I was afraid of this.”

“Shut up,” they both said, Sarah sighing.

“The kids were both big fans of Supernatural. They grew up watching it with me. It was something we bonded over at first in fact,” she said.

“Oh,” said Jensen, a smirk forming on his face. “Sam or Dean girls? George come on buddy, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t happening,” said Taylor, her eyes squeezed shut.

“So you guys don’t want to hear about the movie, gotcha,” he said, both of them snapping their heads up.

“He really is a dork,” you said.

“Movie?” asked George.

“Someday. You can count on it,” said Jensen. “Maybe I’ll go easy on you guys and ask what mom was?”

“You boys are a little young for my tastes but honestly the guy who played John was very attractive,” she said.

“Even I’d hit that,” said Ray, Sarah laughing to herself.

“You can see Ray wins his ladies over with his charm,” you said, glancing at Taylor and George. “Like you guys could literally ask anything you ever wanted about the show and get an unfiltered answer if you want.”

“Did you really keep the car?” asked George. Jensen nodded and held up his finger.

“When we’re back in town, you guys come over and you can take a spin in it,” he said.

“Okay, he’s cool with me,” said George. You cocked your head and he smiled. “That was the car from the show I always told you about.”

“Oh. I thought you were talking about batman or something,” you said, pursing your lips. “Sorry I wasn’t…”

“You always sucked at pretending to be happy,” said Taylor. You looked down and nodded. “We get it. You had to do your own thing.”

“Don’t hate me for leaving?”

“Maybe when we were little,” she said. “But we’re older and we get that you probably felt like a fifth wheel.”

“Yeah. A lot really,” you said. “It worked out though.”

“She’s a Dean girl by the way,” said Ray, cracking up as Taylor whacked his arm.

“Dad! Oh my God no I’m not! I like Sam!” she said.

“Want to talk to him?” grinned Jensen. Her face went red and you heard a quiet chuckle at the table. “You’re right, we’ll save that for in person.”

“You basically are marrying Dean Winchester without like, the trauma,” she said. Jensen tensed up but kept a smile on his face. You knew Ray caught it when he gave him a simple nod.

“Trauma’s not inherently bad,” said Ray. “Everyone at this table has gone through some.”

“I know, dad,” she said quietly. She looked at George and he nodded. “Our parents were in a house fire. So were we. I was five and Georgie was four.”

“She carried him out and went next door for help,” you said.

“I was in a car accident last year,” said Jensen. You turned your head. It wasn’t public knowledge that he was in the car. He’d flat out told you that aside from family and a few friends, no one besides you knew. “I almost died. My wife did but for other reasons. You can still have trauma and a really good life.”

“Very good point, Jensen,” said Ray. “You two rugrats wouldn’t be around if mom and I had moped around in our misery forever.”

“Was he always such a sap?” asked George.

“From the day I met him,” you said, Jensen grabbing your hand under the table. “Would you mind watching the kids for a second?”

“Not at all,” he said. You excused yourself and brought Jensen along with you, walking out to the beach area, the breeze cool but light.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I can talk about it now. I went from having the worst year of my life to one of the best. Nothing bad’s gonna happen for saying what really happened. I want to let all that shit go and have the rest of that really good life I was talking about.”

“For someone who keeps a lot inside I sure have noticed a difference in you the past few weeks.”

“To quote both of the loves of my life, I gotta let that shit out more regularly,” he said. You smiled and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, giving him a kiss.

“You know that’s what we call growth, babe.”

“I very easily could have gone the opposite way this year.”

“But you didn’t, cause you tried even though it sucks sometimes. I love you but I extra love happy you and you’re definitely a happier guy now than when I met you.”

“So are you, honey,” he said. “Must make a pretty good team or something.”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“We should honestly get like, married or something, you know?” he teased.

“First I have to know though, are you willing to do cookie cake for a wedding cake?”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “The real questions is, are you willing to deal with the eventual dad bod that will happen as a result?”

“I love this bod, but I don’t love you for this bod,” you said.

“Thank you for today,” he said softly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. He grinned and kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly. “What are best friends for?”

“Everything?”

“Hell yeah they are Ackles.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 15 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen series #jensen x reader #rpf #rpf series #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic

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