#changmin smut | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

juyeonszn · 1 year ago

Text

EXCITEMENT

PAIRING ji changmin x f!reader

WORD COUNT 6.22k

GENRES smut ﹒angst ﹒fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, best friends to lovers, numerous mentions of the female orgasm, ji changmin is a bit of a manwhore, mentions of alcohol, insane tension my b, intense making out x2, oral (m! and f! receiving), multiple orgasms, couch sex but missionary, unprotected sex (wrap before u fucking tap -_-), creampie, changmin is lowkey very whipped and very pussy drunk in this, also forewarning for every fic in this collab— there is lots of foreshadowing and references to the other fics since they all fall within the same timeline/universe!

SUMMARY you know, when you told your girl friends that you’d never finished before, you were expecting it to blow over like no big deal. what you weren’t expecting was for it to spiral into a whole other mess.

MORE i hope u jichang lovers are strapped in and ready for this… kinda went crazy with it 😭😭 um anyway?? first fic of the black out or back out collab?? crazy!! this fic actually ruined me. it used up all my brain power so if every other one sucks u can’t blame me!! it’s the law!! also, i’d like to take a moment to wish my boyz a very happy 6th anniversary <3 so so proud of all they’ve accomplished these past 6 years and i can’t wait to see what they do in the next 6. in this deobi shit 4L frfr 🙏🙏

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel

TAGLIST @millksea

“No fucking way.”

You blink at Soyeon. It wasn’t that hard to believe. In fact, it was pretty easy to believe. You set down the bowl of popcorn on your lap and nod slowly.

“Uh, yeah. Yes fucking way,” a nervous laugh escapes your lips. “I’ve had to fake it with every guy I’ve ever been with. I don’t know what it is. Maybe something’s wrong with me.”

Men were… incompetent at certain things. And apparently your pleasure was one of those. Every dude you’ve ever slept with failed to make you finish. It was at the point that you felt that you were the problem. It would be understandable if it had been a couple guys, but every single one? Your luck had to be complete ass.

The only reason the topic had been brought up was because Soyeon had mentioned something about her last fling during your movie night. She was talking about how that had been the best sex she's ever had and it spurred you into making your confession. The last guy you’d been with had probably been the worst.

“Never?” Jiwon’s jaw drops, elbows resting on her knees. “How are you still alive, girl? How do you get your fix?”

“My hand, my vibrator, my pillow sometimes,” you shrug, picking at a loose thread on your blanket. “I’ve learned to make do with my situation, I guess. If I can’t get it elsewhere, I’ll just do it myself, y’know?”

Your girl friends look at you with pouts on their lips, as if they were the ones experiencing your misfortunes. You hadn’t even expected it to be such a big deal. You’d thought this was a normal, common occurrence. Boys usually sucked at things when it came to girls. But they all took this as a personal hit, like you were a fallen soldier in battle.

Perhaps the female orgasm was far more important than you assumed it to be.

“Considering who your best friend is, you’d think you were getting good dick left and right,” Dahyun snorts into her glass of wine. “This is actually kinda insane.”

You guess she had a point, despite you both leading very different lives. Changmin, your best friend, was known as one of the many heartthrobs on campus. He was in a fraternity, played on the school’s baseball team, and he even played with other things. Namely the hearts of practically every other girl at your university.

You’d think it would bother you to be so close to a man who couldn’t give less of a fuck about those of the same sex as you. But for some reason, you couldn’t find it in you to care. It’s not like he was bragging about the bitches he bagged on a regular basis. Though you were his best friend, he understood boundaries. He knew what was appropriate to talk about with you and respected that.

Your friends laugh at her observation, but drop the conversation after that, resuming the movie you were watching. However, it’s not that easy for you.

You can’t stop wondering if something really *is wrong with you. Why was it that everyone and their mom was capable of finishing and you weren’t? It was more unlikely that every single man you’ve been with sexually was that mediocre. Were you really that unlucky?

It bothers you so much that you find yourself still thinking about it well into the following week.

With the start of the new semester, came the adjustment of new classes. Even though you were a Communications major, you made the grave mistake of taking Lifespan Growth and Development with Changmin for the extra credit. He was an Early Childhood Education major, so it was a requirement for him, but not for you. (Honestly, he only forced you to take it with him so you had at least one lecture together. He was afraid your friendship might start to fade if you didn’t see each other often.)

Imagine how horrified you felt when your professor began to talk about babies and their circadian rhythm, but the only thing in your head was the fact that you’d never orgasmed because of a man. You felt like you were going crazy at this point. Really, the thought should’ve been long forgotten by now. But you couldn’t help yourself from dwelling on it, especially after your friends made jokes at your expense.

As you’re walking out of the lecture hall side by side with Changmin, you keep your focus on the ground, your hearing going in and out. His voice is staticy, your brain only registering words here and there. You’re a little pissed off that this has become such an issue.

He notices your lack of response and stops walking, eyebrows furrowed. You pause in your tracks along with him. “Are you good? You’ve been spacing out all morning.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you shake your head as if that would rid of these stupid thoughts. “I’m just a little tired, I guess. I haven’t been getting much sleep.”

“Well, you better fix that. We’re expecting this weekend’s party to be one of the bigger ones this semester. Juyeon’s passing those fliers around like it’s his job,” Changmin purses his lips with a snort, ruffling your hair. “I need my beer pong partner to be in tip-top shape.”

You scratch the back of your neck. Half of you was kind of hesitant to go to this weekend’s TBZ party considering that was where you met the dude who started this whole downward spiral. He made an offhand comment about seeing you again, but you were actually hoping that would never happen. And with your fortune, the probability of running into him was pretty high.

“You see…“ You begin, but Changmin interrupts you with a distressed groan before you can continue.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of flaking,” his arms fall to his sides as his head tips back dramatically. “Y/N, I really need you there. How else am I gonna smoke everyone? I need— I mean we need to keep our title.”

Sometimes you wish Ji Changmin took anything else as seriously as he takes beer pong. You suppose it came with being a fraternity brother or something. They all drank alcohol like it was fucking water. You’re still sort of surprised none of them (Sunwoo) has gotten alcohol poisoning yet.

“I’m just… trying to avoid someone. And they’ll probably be there.” You sigh, fiddling with your fingers. Your best friend gives you an unreadable look that flashes across his face only for a moment.

“Tell me who it is. I’ll make sure they’re not allowed in. I’d much rather have you there than some rando who’s bugging you.” He says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants.

“That’s really unne—“

“Yo, Changmin! Aren’t you going with us to Cobie’s?”

You both turn towards the sudden intrusion, the voice belonging to Eric Sohn. He’s around 50 feet away from where you’re standing, joined by Kim Sunwoo and Ju Haknyeon. Changmin yells out his answer and spins back to you, an apologetic smile on his face. Somehow, you’re a little grateful for the interruption.

“We’ll finish this later, okay?” He nods at you, heading backwards in their direction. “You’re going, Y/N.”

You really should’ve listened to your instincts when they told you to skip out on the party.

You’re well aware that every attendee was crucial for the TBZ boys and their stupid rivalry with the KAT girls. So maybe you understood why Changmin needed you there so badly, aside from the obvious beer pong thing. However, you were starting to regret showing up.

First of all, Ji Changmin was nowhere to be found. Second of all, Jeon Soyeon was hounding you all night about the secret you so idiotically shared with your gal pals.

She was dead set on finding you a solution. (Basically, she was scanning the crowd of partygoers for a suitable man to satisfy your overdue needs. And she was proving devastatingly unsuccessful.)

You were too anxious to drink, also. Your feet were bouncing from where you sat on the couch, and your fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting. The antsiness was getting annoying at this point and you were hoping your knight in shining armor (Ji Changmin) revealed himself soon. Lest he wanted to lose out on his beloved beer pong partner.

It appears that your years of honing in on your manifestation powers have finally come to fruition when you spot Younghoon and Juyeon hauling the beer pong table into the living room. Where one of those tables are stationed, you know you’re guaranteed to find your best friend. The shorter of the two gentle giants cups his hands around his mouth and announces the first round of tonight’s tournament.

You stand from your seat, grabbing the opportunity to break free of Soyeon’s efforts to pimp you out. You’re ready to confirm you and Changmin’s spot in the tournament, when you see that you’ve already been beaten to it. It takes absolutely everything in you not to let your jaw drop and your eyes to tear up.

Some girl who happens to be in your Lifespan Growth and Dev class (you think her name is Iseul) is draped over Changmin’s arm, signing them up for the first round. He doesn’t look like he wants to, but makes no effort to refuse her.

You don’t know why it irks you. It shouldn’t irk you.

You’ve never cared about who he spends his free time with in the past. It’s been so easy for you to let his behavior slide, brushing it under the rug like it was no biggie. But this time, you care a whole lot. You chalk it up to the fact that he was seemingly replacing you as his beer pong partner, even though that was the entire reason why he wanted you to come to the party.

Yeah. That’s why.

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips just as Hyunjae passes by, no doubtedly heading to the beer pong table. You catch the sleeve of his polo and force him to halt in his steps. You’re not even sure why the hell he’s wearing a polo in the first place, his outfit embodying the stereotypical frat boy perfectly. This looked nothing like his usual wardrobe.

“Oh, hey Y/N, what’s up?” He smiles that award-winning Hyunjae smile, the one that manages to charm every girl in the room every single time he pulls it out. He brings the brim of his red solo cup up to his lips and finishes whatever’s left in it with one swig. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Do you wanna be my beer pong partner?” Okay, well now you’ve said it so there’s no going back.

His eyebrow shoots up in a mixture of shock and pleasant surprise. “Me? You’re not gonna ask Changmin?”

“He’s…” Your eyes flitter over to where he stands with Iseul(?), Hyunjae’s following. No. You’re okay. This isn’t getting to your head at all. Everything’s cool and peachy. “He’s too preoccupied.”

Hyunjae chooses not to say anything, instead nudging you over to the opposite end of the table. Changmin’s eyes widen when he sees the two of you, even having the audacity to look scandalized. God, maybe that was his biggest fault. He was so entitled.

So, it was just fine for him to bail on you in favor of some girl he didn’t even know, but the second you talk to one of his frat brothers, it’s off the table? What a fucking hypocrite. The whole ordeal was actually beginning to get on your nerves now. All you wanted to do was win this stupid beer pong game to show him that he’ll never find a partner as good as you.

Woah. Holy shit, Y/N. You need to dial it back a bit with the possessiveness. That was a lot, especially for you.

Juyeon narrows his eyes at you and then glances over to Changmin, the cogs turning in his head slowly. You’re not sure if that’s because he’s so used to seeing you both on the same side of the beer pong table, or because his vision was so shitty. Either way, it has you cowering behind Hyunjae a little as he dips the ping pong ball into the cup of water in the center.

“Okay, you know the rules. Let’s have a healthy, friendly game,” Younghoon says, tapping the table with a smile. “No playing dirty. I’m looking at you, Hyunjae.”

The brunette raises his hands in surrender, doing a quick bout of rock, paper, scissors with Changmin to determine which team went first. He wins with a quirk of his lips, sauntering back over to you. After rolling his neck around and popping his fingers, he tosses the ball right into Changmin and Iseul’s center cup.

You hate to admit it, but Hyunjae’s actually pretty good at this. You’ve never really paid attention to anyone else’s beer pong skills considering you’ve only ever played with Changmin as your partner. Who knows, maybe you’ll switch over permanently after this. At least, you might if he keeps up whatever it is that he’s doing.

Your best friend’s jaw tightens as he grabs the red solo cup, chugging what’s inside. He huffs and takes his turn, nearly missing with the way the ball circles around the rim. He sighs in relief at the same time you grimace. You still hadn’t had anything to drink all night and starting with fucking beer was probably the worst idea.

The game probably would’ve been a bit more competitive had Iseul been decent at beer pong, but she sucked. So Hyunjae and yourself always kept your lead by one cup or more. Karma is a dish best served cold, or however the saying goes. And karma certainly presented itself in the form of Ji Changmin’s first ever TBZ beer pong tournament loss.

Hyunjae high fives you with a cheesy grin, lacing your fingers together and shaking them around. He presses a kiss to your temple and guides you away from the table as Juyeon and Younghoon clear it for the second round. It wasn’t odd for any of the TBZ boys to show you affection since you were like a sister to most of them, but this felt… kind of weird. You can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it made you feel off.

“You’re my secret weapon,” he laughs, hands burying into the pockets of his khaki shorts. “I’m gonna steal you as my partner permanently.”

As much as you joked around in your head, the truth of the matter was that you could never actually replace Changmin. In spite of him acting like a complete dumbass tonight, he was still your best friend. Not even the biggest of fights would change that fact.

Before you can dismiss him, Changmin is stalking over to you with a slight scowl. His nostrils flare a bit as he asks, “Can we talk?”

You barely nod and then he’s fisting the material of your top at the small of your back, urging you away from the living room. Your feet keep tripping over themselves while you attempt to match his pace but he’s too determined to reach his destination in mind to even notice. No one even bats an eye as you get ushered to your demise.

You’re coaxed into a nearby bathroom without a word, your best friend standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest. Because you hadn’t seen him a majority of the night, you hadn’t gotten the chance to get a good look at him. He was wearing a long sleeve striped polo and some baggy jeans, which probably would look basic on anyone else. But this is Ji Changmin. Girls flocked after him for a reason.

“Why would you play with Hyunjae? You know the type of guy he is. Now he thinks he has a shot with you or something.” As soon as he opens his mouth, you remember the type of guy he is.

“What does it matter to you? You were too busy giggling with your flavor of the week. Of course I wasn’t gonna wait around for you.” You bite back, mirroring his stance.

“Flavor of the—?” His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and then everything settles in. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” you laugh humorlessly. “Don’t act all hypocritical with me, Changmin. I can’t believe I even came to this fucking party for you when you didn’t even bother giving me the same energy. Best friend, my ass.”

A scoff brushes past your lips and you turn to exit the bathroom, but he grabs your wrist. His grip isn’t too harsh, but it’s tight enough to stop you from going anywhere. “Wait. Don’t leave.”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” Your eyes flick back and forth between his and the fingers wrapped around your forearm. And you know, you really should’ve predicted what would happen after that. The nature of your words were provocative in their own right, not to mention the tension brewing in the midst of your argument.

From one second to the next, Changmin’s mouth is on your own, your back pressed to the bathroom door. His hands are everywhere and nowhere all at once; digging into your sides, running through your hair, caressing your face. You feel insane. Your head feels empty, no coherent thoughts running through it as his lips move against yours.

They migrate along your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking wherever they feel fit. Everything is moving way too fast for you to comprehend what’s happening. His lips feel so good on your skin, you’re having trouble finding the strength in you to stop him. But you know you have to. This was your best friend, for god’s sake. And besides, you didn’t want to deal with the disappointment you’ve faced time and time again when it came to men. You couldn’t handle feeling that way toward him.

Your palm presses against his chest and you try your hardest to ignore the sensation of his heart thumping beneath it. Your eyes squeeze shut as you push him off of you gently. Not expecting the sudden disruption, he stumbles backwards slightly. He’s a little dazed, like he, too, has not a single thought in that brain of his.

“I can’t— we can’t—“ You’re breathless, heaving up and down as if you’d just ran a damn marathon. “I have to go.”

You don’t give Changmin any freedom to react, escaping the bathroom exasperated. There’s too much going through your mind to search for Soyeon, leaving the party as quickly as you can. The moment your foot steps out of the front door, it’s like you’re given some clarity. The fresh air feels cool on your warm skin while you take the walk back to your apartment, not in the mood to sit in a stuffy car with anyone else. You needed to think clearly and vulnerably, and someone being there would just hinder that.

But first, you had to figure out where to go from here.

It’s been a couple days since the last TBZ party and you were still avoiding Ji Changmin like he was the plague.

You were definitely wishful thinking when you decided to just ignore things until you had class together. And even then, you were planning on pretending like nothing even happened. Fucking up your friendship with him was something you couldn’t stand emotionally. Or physically. It would be akin to the pain of having your heart ripped straight from your chest.

Meeting Changmin when you did was almost like a blessing in disguise. His attitude about life was exactly what you needed coming into university. You were shy and scared of your new surroundings. You had no friends, you were far from your family, and your imposter syndrome was through the roof. But then he swooped in and made everything better somehow. As much as it was a snooze fest, you’ll eternally be a little bit grateful for sharing that First Year Seminar class with him.

Deep down, a piece of you has always belonged to Changmin. From that first day of freshman year to now, you’ve always held him to a different standard than everyone else. You liked to believe it was because he was your best friend, the one person who sought you out even when it felt like no one ever would. And until very recently, you kept trying to convince yourself that was the case.

If you slept together that might be worse. What if he ended up like every other guy you’ve landed in bed with? What if he couldn’t satisfy you? It would make it even more strained. You didn’t want to end up like every other girl who’s vied for his heart and failed miserably. He wasn’t a relationship person.

Falling for him alone would complicate everything. If he didn’t feel the same, it would be weird between you and your friendship would never go back to normal. Yet as you lay here, body bundled in your comforter and drowning in one of the many sweatshirts he’s left over at your apartment, scrolling through his feed, you realize that there’s no return from this point. Now that you’ve contemplated the idea, you’re too far in.

You know, the universe had funny ways of rewarding you. (Or rather, punishing you.)

There’s a knock at your front door. You’re not entirely sure who it could be since you weren’t expecting anyone, but one glance through the peephole and it’s all over for you. You consider stepping away, running and cowering in your bedroom until he disappears so you can go back to dissimulating that your entire life wasn’t crumbling to your feet.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Open up, please, we need to talk.”

You curse under your breath but unlock the door anyway, maneuvering so he can come inside with ease. Changmin stares at you with an unreadable expression for a minute, vision raking over your figure. Maybe you’re imagining it, but it’s something similar to how men have looked at you before, like they were undressing you with their eyes. That’s when you remember that you were wearing his sweatshirt.

Without pants underneath…

The wind knocks out of him in an instant, something primal coming over him when his gaze lands on you in his clothing. He knows he shouldn’t think about you the way he does. He shouldn’t think of how pretty you are when your pen is caught in your teeth, attempting to make sense of whatever your professor was talking about. He shouldn’t think of the way your cheeks flush when you’ve had too much alcohol at one of the TBZ parties. He shouldn’t think of kissing you, or pressing up against you like a dog in heat. He shouldn’t be thinking of the kiss you shared Friday night.

You’re his best friend, the one person in the world who has ever understood him. The one who’s always glued to his side even when he may be in the wrong. Why would he ever want something different? How could he ask for more when he should be thankful for what he was already given?

“Why are you pushing me away? Why are you ignoring me?” Is what he finally asks after the silence has become unbearable.

“Changmin,” you swallow thickly, hesitative with what you say next. “Friends don’t kiss— we don’t kiss.”

He takes a step forward, and then another, and then another until he’s only arms’ length from you. “But, we could.”

You release a shuddery breath, reaching out to stop him from coming any closer. “P-Please. We can’t do this— I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” He pushes. He knows he’s tiptoeing the edge of something else. There’s a fine line between what you have now, and what he’s wanted for so long. It’s always been a matter of if you wanted that too. “Is it because you just don’t want to?”

You’re not even sure how to respond to him. Of course you want this. It isn’t that you don’t want him. You’re more scared than anything. You’re scared of becoming just another victim of Ji Changmin’s charms, of giving into him and it leading to another let down. Your resistance is evident on your face, and you’re not all that taken aback when he sighs.

“I’ve wanted you since that first day of First Year Seminar, Y/N. No one has ever compared to you and no one ever will,” he confesses, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I sleep with random girls to get you off my mind, to forget that I’m pretty fucking in love with my best friend.”

Then it all clicks.

It’s like you’ve come to the biggest realization of your life, an epiphany striking you suddenly with the weight of a freight train. It all trickles into place, the reason why you’ve never enjoyed yourself during sex. The reason why you’ve never finished at the hands of any man you’ve been with intimately.

None of them were Ji Changmin. None of them were the best friend that your heart has belonged to since your freshman year.

You press your lips to his without any warning, nearly colliding into him with the force of your impatience. He reciprocates immediately, fingers tangling in your hair and holding you closer than physically possible. You tilt your head to deepen the kiss, tongue dragging along his lower lip. Years of repressed longing and pining find themselves surfacing in this one kiss.

Changmin’s hands travel to your waist, burrowing into the fabric of his sweatshirt as he yanks you toward the couch. He falls to a sitting position when the backs of his knees hit the edge, your knees resting on either side of his lap. You don’t break apart once, not even to gasp for air as he grinds you down onto him. Through the material of his cargos you can feel him. He’s just as throbbing as you are, your core pulsing with a need unlike any other.

His fingers reach for the hem of the sweatshirt and that’s when you pause him, your nerves getting the best of you. He frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just,” admitting this a second time isn’t easier. “I’ve never— nobody’s ever made me… you know…”

The corners of his lips curl up, thumbs rubbing the backs of your thighs. “You’ve never came before, baby?”

Your breathing stutters in your chest, the smugness of his voice sending shockwaves through your body. You should’ve fully expected him to be a master at pillowtalk, what with the whole Sex-God persona and all that jazz, but it still catches you off guard. You shake your head shyly, arms hooked around his neck. His mouth attaches to the spot behind your ear, sucking the skin tenderly.

“I’ll make sure you’re ruined for anyone else,” his voice is no louder than a whisper, but sounds deafening to the cotton stuffing the place where your brain should be. “I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t think twice about who you belong to.”

A small whine emits from your throat, hips gyrating themselves onto his crotch. He bucks up into you instinctively, keeping you still on his lap. The sheer possessiveness of his tone is driving you up the wall. That seemed to be something you had in common with each other. You’re lightheaded, too many layers of clothing blocking the space between you. Changmin connects your lips again, sliding his hands beneath the sweatshirt so his fingers can hook into the waistband of your panties.

He helps you out of them and your top, baring your entire body to him. The way his cock twitches makes him feel like a goddamn teenager. You paw at the zipper of his pants as he pulls off his t-shirt, tugging the cargos down his legs so you can kneel between them. If he thought he wasn’t going to last before, he’s certain of it now. He wraps your hair around his fist in a makeshift ponytail, watching you with hooded eyes as you kiss his tip.

“You look so gorgeous like this,” his voice is wavering, his composure drifting off.

That encourages you to take him into the wet heat of your mouth, tongue twirling around the tip. You run it along his slit, tasting the precum that had formed there. His head falls back onto the sofa cushions, jerking his hand back a bit and tugging your hair just enough for it to sting. You moan around his dick, the pain providing more pleasure than its intended purpose.

He bucks up into your mouth yet again, his length gliding down your throat. Not prepared for the intrusion, you gag, pulling off of his cock with a string of saliva bridging your lips to the tip. Tears prick at your eyes for a second, and then you’re going back in.

This time you manage to relax your throat, fitting more than you could prior. Changmin’s eyes are half lidded, not once daring to look anywhere that wasn’t you. The sight of you so eager to please, so desperate to reward him in spite of you being the one who’s never orgasmed before, was clouding his thinking.

The image of you on your knees, sucking him off like your life depended on it, would be burned into his brain for the rest of his life. (Not that he minded. You lived there practically rent free, anyways.)

Your attention stays on the tip of his cock, tongue repeatedly alternating with dragging under the head and the slit on top. He could die happily, actually, the fear that he may never have you in this way finally dissipating into thin air. Want could only take a man so far.

He doesn’t stay sentimental for very long, remembering that you were currently between his legs and the inner monologue could wait for later. Though, he makes the grave mistake of making direct eye contact with you and it’s game over after that point.

Changmin finishes with a groan, his cum painting your chest with milky white ropes. He cups both sides of your face, bringing you up to kiss you messily. He doesn’t care that he can taste himself in your mouth, nipping your bottom lip to pry it open. The two of you swap spots, with him now on the floor and you on the couch. He pushes up your knees, spreading them to gain access to your cunt, glistening with your slick.

He presses a soft kiss to your clit, glancing up at you through his lashes to gauge your reaction. He not only had a reputation to defend, but he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was going to be the first man to make you cum. But it wasn’t sufficient to just fuck you, he needed to do more than that. He needed to flood your senses and show you exactly what you’ve been missing out on.

His tongue circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves, his ring and middle fingers going counter-clockwise on your entrance. He can hear the laboring of your breathing, the sharp exhale through your nostrils when he experimentally slides one of them inside of you. He starts to pump it slowly, building up the pace until he adds the other finger, curling them.

You whine when Changmin’s lips envelope your clit, suckling like a man starved. His fingers south don’t halt their assault, the palm of his other hand flattening on your lower stomach. You reach down to card through his hair, clutching the strands for support. He groans against your pussy, the vibrations contributing to the knot growing tighter in your abdomen.

He switches his tongue and fingers a moment later, lapping at your hole and swiping at your clit in a close ovular pattern with his thumb. You’re dizzy, lids fluttering shut and back arching off the cushions in a weak attempt to minimize the space between you. Changmin pins down your hips with his forearm, continuing making out with your cunt.

He flips the stimulation once more, mouth on your clit and fingers buried deep inside of you in an instant. He keeps his eyes on you, focused on every scrunch of your face and slacking of your jaw. The sudden difference in sensations has a loud moan ripping from your vocal cords, that knot coming undone almost too quickly for it being your first time in this position. You feel his lips turn up in a smile, like he’s proud of himself for doing the impossible.

Changmin pulls back slightly, his fingers still working you down from your peak. When he thinks you’ve calmed, he’s up and kissing you, petting your hair gently. “You did so well for me, baby.”

“I’ve made myself cum so many times before, but never like that— holy shit, Changmin…” You’re a little stunned and he finds it cute, despite you both being in such a compromising situation.

“I need you to give me one more, is that okay?” He lays you on your back, hovering over you. “I wanna see your pretty face when you cum on my cock.”

You pull him down for another kiss, pecking the side of his neck with a hum. “Want you to fill me up, too.”

The groan that leaves him is guttural, his forehead falling onto your collarbone. Dreams really do come true. He hikes up one of your legs, lining himself up with you. He guides his cock into you and watches you for any moves of discomfort. A whimper bubbles past as he slips in, bottoming out smoothly. Half of you still couldn’t believe this was happening. No fucking way was Ji Changmin on top of you right now, dick compressed in your cunt to the hilt.

He holds your knee to your chest as he begins to thrust his hips, driving his cock deep from the get go. Each motion jostles you further up the sofa, but you’re too gone to care. Your eyes have started to roll to the back of your head and you already feel that pressure rising in the pit of your stomach.

At this rate, you’re not sure you’ll last very long. You’re still extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and Changmin’s plowing into you like he might never get the chance to do it again.

“You’re so— fuck— you’re so tight, baby… Squeezing me in like you don’t wanna let me go,” he rasps, trailing open mouthed kisses along your jaw and carrying them down your jugular.

You moan something about how deep he is, about how you can feel him everywhere. It’s too much. It’s not enough. And despite him giving you everything he has to offer, you crave more. You’re yearning for more.

Something in you snaps and you’re cradling his face in your hands. “Love you so much, Changmin. Wanna be with you forever.”

His eyes widen at your off-kilter confession, but he doesn’t cease once. If anything, his speed increases as he kisses you passionately, noses bumping but so far on the spectrum from the others. This one is more emotional, more meaningful. It’s not long before he’s spilling into you, moaning against your lips. You follow closely behind, your second orgasm cresting like a tidal wave.

You stay like that for a minute, both of you soaking it all in. Your chests meet in the middle with each breath you take.

Changmin pulls out of you carefully, laying so you can rest comfortably on top of him. A smile inches across his feature, like he was on the inside of a joke you weren’t. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“What…”

“Nothing, it’s just,” he brushes some of your hair from your forehead to leave a smooch there. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you how I felt for a while now. I just wanted to assure that you wouldn’t scream in my face and run the opposite direction. But you went ahead and beat me to it.”

“You meant what you said about the other girls?” You nibble at the skin of your cheek, nervous. “You slept with them to distract yourself from me? Even Iseul?”

He nods, albeit a little shamefully. “Not my proudest moment, I’ll say. I could’ve gone about it a million other ways. But yeah, I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you just because I couldn’t get my feelings in check.”

“You’re stupid,” you laugh, cuddling further into him. “It’s a good thing I’m kind of into that.”

“Kind of?” He quirks a brow at you. “I don’t know, you were saying something about loving me so much and wanting to be with me forever earlier…”

You smack his chest playfully. “Shut up. That was a moment of weakness or whatever.”

“It’s okay,” he smiles at you fondly, as if you were the reason that the sun shone so brightly. “I love you, too. And I wouldn’t mind being with you forever.”

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strayed-quokka · 2 months ago

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babydoll || ji changmin || act ii

↳ Changmin isn’t popular nor is he rich, whereas you run on the other end of the spectrum, spoilt and living on your dads credit card. when you’re tasked with kicking him out of the biggest party of your year, you come to realise he’s not all that bad. unfortunately, falling in love with the ji changmin is your one way ticket to social suicide.

↳ pairing: ji changmin x female reader + ex lee juyeon x female reader

!!! this is not a love triangle !!!

~ rating: NC-17 minors please do not interact with this work

↳ genre: enemies to acquaintances to reluctant friends to lovers, slowburn, drama, angst, happy end but it takes a long ass time, rich girl broke ass uni boy

~ warnings: everyone still kinda sucks, juyeon is toxic and a red flag, manipulation, emotional abuse, toxic relationships, family abuse (implied, vaguely shown), bullying, reader is still a pain to deal with, alcohol, drug use, the classism is strong in this one still, implications of an eating disorder, body issues, body modifications (tongue and nipple piercings), changmin is basically a chainsmoker but we love him, minnie teaching ya'll and reader how to roll a cigarette, cocaine is common, so is imported wine, swearing, pet names (little doll, doll, darling, princess), whore and bitch, suicidal ideation, mild violence, first degree burns, taller reader with long hair, is anyone redeemable?

everyone is an adult in their 20s

!!! if I missed anything or I remember something else I will add it !!!

↳ words: 28,173

a/n: this is late. I apologise this shit is long as hell to edit and it broke tumblr and my computer.

I have said this previously but I will be stating this every chapter. There are some specific physical attributes to this reader which I usually avoid doing but for the story itself it was necessary.

Also, please note that the warnings are applicable to the chapter in question, not necessarily the whole story. You can find all the general warnings on the masterlist to babydoll. I also take no responsibility if you take issue with the topics and characters at hand once proceeding as I would hope you have read the warnings beforehand. If there is something I did genuinely miss in the warnings you are more than welcome to tell me though, since there is a lot and some might get overlooked.

let me know if you wanna be on the taglist and please I beg love up on this changmin he's taking all the strength I have and possess.

babydoll playlist || act i

You could go without hearing Changmin’s voice for the rest of your life. It’s not that it was an unattractive tone or that it was harsh, but it was the person behind it that immediately brought you to a halt. There was a very big part of you that almost knew what this was going to be about, and you were set on avoiding it.

It was the very first time you didn’t stay to catch his attention. You walked away, heading down the stairs to the first floor in an attempt to shake him off. But Changmin was stubborn in his pursuit of you, especially today, and he persisted in running after you until he caught up and stood right in front of you to block your path.

“Why am I wrapped up in a rumour that you want to fuck me?”

It’s painfully embarrassing to hear those words from him. You’d expected it, given that in the past few days, the looks you’d received were ones that made you feel cornered, like prey being chased. Chanhee had even asked you, in a tone that sounded so judgemental that for a moment you thought he’d slipped into the opposing side. Juyeon’s side.

Hyunjae had been worse. You’d deemed him a maybe friend, especially considering how he’d been standing up for you recently, but his tone, like he was amused and laughing at your massive fuck up and that it was somehow funny to him, had made you cold towards him.

Younghoon was a nightmare. He’d grabbed your long hair by the roots and dragged you into an empty hallway to shame you. You’d embarrassed Juyeon and everyone knew about it. You fucked your ex boyfriend, used him for his money like a whore and then had the audacity to think about someone else.

It’s not like you had wanted to.

It had been an honest mistake, a thought that fell away from you.

Your social status had fallen to a new low. To a degree that had even Chanhee wary of speaking to you around others. You didn’t blame him, as you knew if it had been him, you’d likely cast him out much the same. See, that was the thing in both your circles, when it was all wealth and appearance and nothing of substance. Looks mattered, behaviour mattered, how awful you were to keep it perfect didn’t matter at all.

You missed Chanhee but you didn’t beg for him. He spoke to you when he desired, asked if you were okay, even apologised once when you were alone, but the damage was done.

Chanhee couldn’t fully understand it either. He knew you so well, he knew you’d never jeopardise yourself to this extent, so how were you possibly so stupid?

You straighten your posture but you’re more nervous than usual, hiding your palms underneath your hoodie as you fiddle with the sleeves.

Yes, the same hoodie the man before you had returned perfectly new, wearing it like an oversized dress with heels that once again made you just a little taller, and right now, it reassured you. You were above him, both physically and in status, and that still remained true. He would never be better than you.

“Says who?”

You’re stoic and nonchalant in your behaviour, even ice cold as you try to keep all your expressions away from his prying eyes, but Changmin only raises his brows and leans against the wall in disbelief because he doesn’t believe it. You’re not sure why he doesn’t, anyone usually would, but he looks at you like you’re see through, like everything is laid out in front of him, like he knows you down to the bone and it makes you extremely uncomfortable to know that he’s analysing you for more than just your body.

“Half the school is asking me why you moan my fucking name when some asshole fucks you and your concern is who?”

To be perfectly fair, both were of your concern. The fact that so many people approached a social outcast to ask him what the fuck you were doing, what you had done, all because Juyeon ran his mouth, just as much as who specifically had been the one to bring this to Changmin’s attention.

“Juyeon?”

“No, though I hear he’s been riding out the emotionally torn up victim perfectly,” you almost laugh because you can imagine it so well. Juyeon’s ego had been bruised and he had to run around so that everyone would know about it, but you caught yourself by hiding the slight smile behind your hand.

It wasn’t funny.

“I really don’t care, you know? You can fantasise about me all you want. Is that why you kept my hoodie?”

He’d been so close. So close to making you take a step back, if even just for a minute to tell him it was okay. Because the reality, as much as you hated it, was that none of this was really Changmin’s fault, even if you wanted it to be.

And then he went and ruined it, and it made you snap.

“You think I fucking like Juyeon going around telling people that I said someone else’s name when I fucked him?! Like you so graciously told me to?!

“I didn’t-”

“Don’t you think I’m humiliated enough?! It’s so fucking embarassing that it had to be you,” and that’s when you break. The cruelty of your words aren’t lost on you, but the emotional torment and humiliation you feel is even worse. You don’t let yourself, but it happens almost on its own when you start to cry, and you never cry.

Not like this, but the tears fall so freely that you couldn’t catch the droplets between your fingers even if you tried, and Changmin just stands there like an idiot. He stands there and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s amused in watching your vulnerability or because he genuinely feels bad, but either feel equally as bad at this point.

You run away as a result, and this time it proves successful as Changmin doesn’t seem to be following you, so you keep going. You run all the way to your car and when the door closes you allow yourself to really break, because you feel like your life is ruined. You feel like everything you worked for, and everything that was so unbearably painful to work towards, was for nothing. People looked at you now and saw one thing. You were the one who hurt Juyeon, someone well loved, in a manner that is so utterly humiliating that anyone would say he deserved better.

Juyeon was never the bad guy, and you just had no idea how to possibly spin it so that he could look to be the one who’d caused you more pain than you’d caused him. For the truth to your relationship had ran deep behind closed doors and you’d never let anyone in on it, and yet you slip up once and he lets the mask fall on who you are.

At least, who you are in his eyes.

You were sure now more than ever before that you and Juyeon were over, and it was like experiencing a break up all over again. It hurt, a lot, because there was once a time in which you would’ve said you maybe loved him. And the reality of him at the very least never caring to preserve your dignity and appearances when he knew how hard you worked for it and what you did to attain it, was a brutal reality that you simply did not want to face.

Weeks go by and you’re sure your life has hit a wall that you’ll never get over. You felt dramatic, sure, but you were certain you could simply cease to exist and it wouldn’t really matter anymore. It wasn’t that you’d made any plans at your life. It was more so a feeling of if you faded away, would it even make a difference?

You didn’t think it would. You’d let yourself sink to the status that Juyeon had asked for. You crashed, horrifically, falling so depressed that getting to class was a challenge, much less looking presentable. Your endless pairs of heels were replaced with trainers, ones you liked from dior but not nearly as graceful and elegant as what you usually had on, and you practically lived in hoodies that posed as dresses because they were just about long enough.

You still wore make up, but it was far less intricate than before, and your hair was usually up in a high ponytail because you just wanted it out of your face, and you wanted to hide the fact that you barely had the energy to brush through it.

Everything was tiring. Having everyone stare at you, treat you so far beneath yourself for something that had been no one's business was an awful, terrifyingly isolating feeling. You’d never been more aware of your appearance ever before as you were now, and yet you’d also never been as unenthused to fix it in your life. What was the point when the looks were the same. You were judged, beneath them.

You’d sunk to Changmin’s status, and for the first time you wondered how he could do it. How was he able to brush almost anything off, to seem so unbothered, when he was being torn apart from all directions. You’d done it to him, but you’d seen others do it far worse, and yet he acted just the same. It was something you wished you knew how to mirror, for maybe then it would at least earn you some respect back where he couldn’t, because he lacked the privilege you had.

Chanhee had brought you a coffee in the morning, your absolute favourite order and therefore you knew how expensive it was. A mix of extra shots of coffee and syrup, but it was refreshing and made you smile as he kissed the top of your head. You appreciated it more than he probably knew, because Chanhee hadn’t been around you much in recent weeks. Ever since it happened, you wouldn’t call it distance, but more missed chances to cross each other and neither of you made an effort to fix it.

Normally, Chanhee loved to pry. He wanted all the dirt and tea he could get out of you, but it’s like he knew to not cross this line, and the end result was distance. It was ironic, really, because you could’ve really used someone to talk to. For someone to ask with a non judgemental tone what the actual fuck had happened.

Even if in truth you didn’t fully know either where the hell you had gone wrong.

Changmin had tried to talk to you one more time but you’d turned him away. It’s like he’d chosen the worst moment, exactly when Hyunjae and Juyeon turned the hallway towards you both, and if you had even considered staying for a bit to hear what he had to say, it all went out the window as they showed up. You turned so fast to run that the three of them would likely fail to catch you.

Juyeon had somehow managed to spread more rumours, because the kicked little kitten had seen you with the very man you’d thought of. It felt ridiculous, even pathetic, the way he was dragging it, and yet the way you knew to stand up for yourself was entirely lost on you. You forgot to speak, forgot how to be firmly yourself with your thoughts to tell them all to go to hell. You forgot how to exist in yourself.

You went home that day and saw Changmin’s dark hoodie laying on the edge of your bed where you’d left it in the morning, and you decided you’d had enough. You weren’t a weak person, and you were letting yourself be walked over and dragged with the name of someone you didn’t even like. Why the hell would you stand for it, like he was worth more than you?

It was five in the morning when you got ready for your lecture three hours away. You dragged yourself into your shower, your little cat watching you with peculiar eyes because you were never up this early. She knew that, so she found it rather odd and just sat there perched curiously on the counter where all your makeup was messily strewn about for someone else to clean.

Changmin might’ve forgotten about the hoodie entirely, accepting defeat and transferring ownership, but you wanted to cut any and all strings with him. You wanted to have no part of you be intertwined with him, no association or ties that meant you even knew each other.

And you would do it looking absolutely stunning.

Your dress sits so tight it threatens to hurt you, but it forms around your body well and the length is just enough to be acceptable if you tape it to your thigh before it rises above your ass. Not class appropriate, but its never bothered you before.

You decide to wear one of your three red bottom heels, the highest ones you own, the colour black to go with the same coloured dress, paired with your silver jewellery. The ridiculous hoodie in your hand ruins the entire aesthetic, but at least you’d be rid of it soon.

When your driver drops you off at school, you make the not so unusual albeit stupid decision to cut a line of cocaine on a small piece of decorated glass that you keep in the car to break and distribute the powder into lines, because you’re tired as hell and have to withstand a lot of stares today. That, and you would willingly go looking for Changmin, his piece of clothing hidden away, folded neatly and delicately in a discarded designer shopping bag from one of your many expensive trips on your exes dime.

Maybe you needed a cigarette. A bottle of wine wouldn’t hurt either.

“You look very nice today,” it was a careful voice, Hyunjae, but you frowned when you turned to look at him. He was alone, well dressed with a cologne you couldn’t recognise, rare in your case, but nice. It wasn’t overbearing, and it mirrored the man in front of you quite well.

“Since when do you take the time to give me a compliment?”

“I just think you look nice,” he sounds honest and sincere, which in truth you do believe he means. You don’t think he’s carelessly choosing to say words to make you feel better, but it still doesn’t sit well with you, so you smile at him gently and touch his shoulder to squeeze it and ask for his attention.

“Well don’t, Jae,” he lets you leave, and you’re determined more than anything to find the man you wish to blame everything on. There’s a bounce to your step, wide awake now as the drug infiltrates your bloodstream, and you’re almost a little excited to get it all over with.

You’re even more excited at the prospect of dragging Juyeon down beneath you, but that was for later.

You’d just about given up on finding Changmin when after your final class, the library proved successful in your search. However, it also proved to be a mistake. You’re not sure what the reason is, but seeing Changmin makes you stop. You hit that familiar wall, except now it's a dam and it’s threatening to break. And if it breaks, so do you.

You’re emotionally charged in a way you don’t want to be, simply because you see him standing there, reaching for a book dressed in a simple t-shirt with his glasses perched over his nose that looks almost crafted from the side at which you're standing. It hits you suddenly, that you find Changmin to be physically beautiful. Even when he isn’t well dressed, there is a simplicity to him that is welcoming, and it makes you want to turn away.

He notices you, probably because a shadow loomed to his side and he was notified of your presence because you simply stood there. He’s carrying three books, and you wonder what they are, but then he moves towards you with a confused stare that has you thinking you couldn’t do this.

“Is there something on my face?”

His voice breaks you free from your mind in which you are a prisoner, or at least feel like one with your overwhelming thoughts that you simply never wish to have. Everything seems so easy for him, talking to you seems simple, and you’re wondering why you can’t formulate words to return it when it shouldn’t require any effort at all.

“I have your hoodie,” you keep your voice low just in case, but he hears it and seems to curiously perk up at the prospect of getting his clothes back.

“Oh? I figured you were keeping that,” honestly, so did you. You’d really wanted to, because it was still insanely comfortable to you. You loved it, in truth, for the way it wrapped around you felt soft, like you were nestled up in something that wouldn’t hurt your skin and never sat too tight just to form your body a certain way.

“I don’t want anything that ties me to you,” you wonder if it stings, when you insult him like this, but he makes no face that tells you it does. He’s perfect at hiding how he feels, and you nearly wish to ask him how he does it. How does he remain so okay, when things so cruel and hurtful are thrown his way?

You wish to emulate it, even in this moment, but you can’t.

It’s the one part of him you wished you could learn to take for yourself.

“Are you okay?”

Those three words hit you like a knife straight through your chest, reverberating deep in your bones as your entire resolve breaks. Your walls fall apart yet again and he’s the one to do it, because in truth you aren’t and he’s the only one to even ask the questions in weeks apart from Chanhee. People you consider your friends, or would consider anything at this point that Changmin isn’t, haven’t even asked, and yet he stands before you and doesn’t even seem to stumble over the words to pose the question.

And it makes you cry.

It’s absolutely humiliating to cry like this and the mascara burns your eyes in an instant, and yet every effort to stop forsakes you because it all makes it worse. Changmin stands there so awkwardly, like he might have ways to comfort someone but no ways of knowing how to comfort you, and you’re fairly certain he wishes to turn away because he finds it uncomfortable to simply stand here with you, in a corner, far from others yet not far enough that no one could see if they didn’t go to look

“I… listen… I really didn’t mean to make you cry,” you can tell he doesn’t like it. Maybe because it’s you or he’s uneasy by it in general, but it fills you up with even more embarrassment as you try to will your body to walk away. Yet you’ve turned to stone, accepting your humiliation because how much lower could you go before his eyes? You’ve broken entirely and he’s witnessed almost every second of your demise as you became nothing of value to absolutely everyone around you. You really were like a whore.

“Can you just t-take it?”

Forcing the bag into his fingers doesn’t work, and you note for the first time the silver rings he wears. You’re surprised you missed it before, or maybe he wasn’t always wearing them, but they’re intricate in their simplicity and you wish to have a closer look, though you wouldn’t be the one to ask.

“Listen… I know you have some pathetically unjustified hatred towards me-” you scoff, only to prove his point that has him rolling his dark brown eyes because he’s exasperated that you simply can’t let him finish, “I also find you incredibly fucking annoying and a raging bitch-”

“Hey!”

You want to hit him, yet you’re not going to disagree with him. You know how to hurt people well, how to manipulate a situation and how to come out on top above everyone else and so it earned you occasionally negative titles that were sometimes deserved.

Nevertheless you weren’t quite sure what he was getting at.

“Do you want to get some ice cream?”

Whatever it was, it hadn’t been that. You hadn’t expected to be asked to go anywhere with him, and yet here you both were, in a position of vulnerability for him and one even more for you. You were conflicted and uncertain in what you’re answer should be, because even if your first thought was to say no and reject him, it wasn’t what you truly wanted.

“What?”

“Ice cream makes anything better. Don’t you think?”

Well, no, you didn’t think so, for it added weight where you didn’t need it, and yet you didn’t want to turn him away. You were upset, evidently, and he was trying to do something to bring a smile to your lips and you hated that it felt like it was working. It shouldn’t be working, and yet you were heavily considering it.

“Fine, but I don’t need us to leave together.”

“I have another class, anyway,” but the way he spoke made you wonder if he’d been willing to skip it, if you’d immediately said yes to something you’d never thought you’d hear him ask. He almost seemed bitter but you weren’t quite able to feel bad.

But you wouldn’t mind ice cream, if you were honest.

“I can meet you there,” Changmin seems surprised, perking up in a way that is strangely endearing yet you refuse a smile, waiting for him to tell you where to go.

“It's just a ten minute walk from here. Amorino, I think.”

You’d heard of it, but in truth you’d never been, but it was meant to be good for the little it cost, so maybe it was worth a try.

“Fine. I’ll be there,” you’d get some of your assignments done, maybe, but first you’d need to spend the next hour in front of a mirror so that you didn’t look like an absolute mess, even when you felt like one. Changmin looked like he wanted to say something else, but he bit his tongue and walked away from you with your hands still firmly latched around the strap of your shopping bag. You wondered if he’d intentionally left it in your grasp, if there was a reason he was no longer so hellbent on getting it back, but you weren’t going to dwell on it.

And you were not keeping it any longer either. If anything, you’d blame your willingness and brief vulnerability to say yes on the fact that you simply just wanted to be rid of him, and that included the item you were holding.

You almost wished the rain had put him off from walking through the glass doors that led inside a sickly sweet smelling cafe, slightly cool because of the various ice cream needing the lower temperature. Sadly, it hadn’t, and Changmin walked in just a little over an hour after you had taken a seat in a corner far inside the shop, hoping that if anyone you knew would walk past, they wouldn’t recognise you. When he spots you, he seems almost as apprehensive as you to approach, brushing through his matted down wet strands of dark hair to move them away from his forehead.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” it seems true. Like he hadn’t expected you to really show up and in truth it seemed like the most reasonable assumption to make, because you really had no idea either.

“Me too,” he smiles at you and it makes you uncomfortable, for the shift in the way he treated you seemed disingenuous, yet nothing about it told you that his kindness in looking at you wasn’t real. It’s like you’d genuinely managed to amuse him with little to no effort, after the countless times in which you were a pain in his ass.

“Do you know which flavour you’d like?”

“I… honestly can’t decide,” it all sounded heavenly. You couldn’t remember when you’d last indulged in a sweet treat like this, even if it hadn’t been intentional to go so long without. It just never came to be for a very long time and suddenly you were overwhelmed with flavours that you wanted to try. You could’ve eaten half the menu, and yet you barely desired one in terms of calories.

“I think you can choose up to three for one cone,” three seemed absurd. It seemed excessive and yet the temptation to try three was so overbearing that you wanted to give in.

“Are you having three?”

“Probably,” you nod, falling silent because you really don’t know how to talk to him normally. Changmin was a stranger to you, and you fully realise it when you sit across from him and realise that you don’t know him at all. You don’t know who he is, how he thinks, aside from what he tells you, and the only other thing you know is what he looks like, and that he often adjusts his glasses as if they sit just a little too big.

“I can order for us both,” he offers, breaking you out of your trance to once again be reminded of how strange this is. You don’t like Changmin, yet sitting with him like this is simple. It’s weird, but it’s easier than expected. It’s very awkward, but it’s simple.

“You don’t have to order for me.”

“It was an offer, not a demand,” you roll your eyes, though his kindness isn’t lost on you and you’re once again sat here wondering what you’re really doing, and wondering why Changmin’s shift in personality was so sudden but genuine.

“Stracciatella, dulce de leche and coffee.”

“I can tell you’re rich,” you wonder if it’s an insult, but if it is he’s smiling and that almost makes it worse. You know how to do it best, smile through something you didn’t mean, or something that was an insult but you wanted the other person to maybe have hope that it wasn’t meant that way. Or maybe he was joking, and the slight tease just went way over your head.

“What’re you think?”

“Vanilla, lemon and amarena,” you nod, as if to just tell him you were listening but have nothing to say.

“But I’m the rich one,” it’s your way of figuring out if he was teasing too, by doing so back and seeing what his reaction will be. Changmin seems amused and you relax in knowing that he wasn’t mocking you.

“What’s wrong with those flavours?”

“Nothing,” you draw out, staring back at the menu to decide on a coffee, “I’ll get a drink.”

Changmin seems to hesitate just briefly and realisation dawns on you. You’ve always looked down on him for having less money, for not affording things, but it didn’t cross your mind that he might not even be able to afford this. The issue then became that you had no idea how to delicately approach it.

“I’ll pay for it,” you tell him, but there’s surprise on his face and a hint of frustration, and you wonder if you read it all wrong.

“I’m not in poverty, you do know that, right?”

Honestly, you didn’t. It might’ve been embarrassing to admit but you weren’t quite sure at what point someone was considered within poverty because very often, your parents had shown you that even the most common ordinary people lacked money and therefore weren’t content in life. You had no real way of measuring what was really considered little. Hell, you barely knew what your family had in regards to wealth, because you rarely looked at the money you spent. You knew you always had it, so you spent it, without having to think about it.

In your mind, anyone that had to consider their spending was poor.

Sat here now with Changmin was probably the first moment in which you briefly think that might’ve been wrong. That maybe he was cautious with money but not without it. If he was without it, he would likely not be as inviting to sit with and dressed the way he was, even if you’d never buy clothes like the ones he wore.

“I’d still like to pay,” you offer, and you’re not really sure why. You’re here to give him this stupid bag that’s been weighing down on your mind all day as you chased after him, and maybe you’re also hoping to buy his silence on the fact that you cried before him and have done so twice now.

“I invited you here,” he was right. Usually, at least how you were raised, the one inviting the other is the one to pay unless otherwise agreed, which had never been the case for you before, yet it was now.

“And I’m telling you to let me pay.”

“You’re really demanding you know?”

You knew. It’s how you got what you wanted, to make demands rather than ask questions. Changmin seems displeased but he doesn’t argue with you, shrugging his jacket off to drape it over the chair before he gets up and waits.

“What?”

“You’re not coming with?”

“Just take my card. Three, five, seven, two,” you hold it out to him between your long manicured nails and he looks at you like you’re insane. It’s another reminder of how different you two are, of how giving him access to sums he’s never even seen or hoped to dream of meant absolutely nothing to you, because it really didn’t.

“Thanks?”

Changmin walks away, but it’s only brief before he’s turned back around to approach you, “which coffee did you want?”

“A latte macchiato,” he nods, leaving you alone with your thoughts again as you watch his back. The weather has since gotten worse, but it’s quite cosy from here, to simply watch the rain fall, the droplets chasing after one another from top to bottom, only to repeat over and over again in different patterns. The heating was on too, and it was quite comfortable to simply sit here.

The girl at the counter smiles at Changmin in a way that makes you want to turn away, not because someone flirting with him bothers you, but because you can’t believe how ridiculous she’s being in doing so. He’s here with you, and she’s practically begging for it.

Whatever she says, he seems polite but distant enough for her to straighten her posture and adjust her smile to a more professional one, and so you take that as a rejection on his part. You’re not sure why you find that so satisfying, that she didn’t get her way, but you’re happy about it regardless as he’s handed two ice cream cones that seem far more intricate than you’d expected.

It’s only when he comes closer that you realise that the ice cream has been layered together to form the shape of multiple rose petals and ultimately a flower, three separately assorted colours that make up the flavours you asked for, “they’re still making the coffees.”

“Thanks,” you take the ice cream from him carefully, admiring its shape and look. It’s beautiful, really, and it does put a gentle smile on your face as you manage a little laugh in amusement, “it’s pretty.”

You wonder if Changmin knew how they put the ice cream together. If maybe he suggested this place because he figured something as simple as an ice cream shaped like beautiful petals belonging to a rose would cheer you up or make you feel better for the absolute mess that had become your life. For the emotional turmoil you felt as you fell in importance and high regard in others’ eyes.

You mattered less to almost everyone you knew and it bothered you greatly.

Both of you fall silent, likely because neither of you have anything to say. There’s nothing to talk about, not between the two of you, and there’s no attempt at changing it either. Neither of you want to become friends, and yet here you both sit being friendly.

How strange the world worked sometimes.

“I’m sorry Juyeon’s such a dick to you,” it takes you by complete surprise to hear him speak, and whilst normally you’d find yourself frustrated to hear him even bring it up again, it’s oddly comforting to hear an opinion you agree with, albeit planned to have kept from Changmin. You want him to believe that things are perfect, that you and Juyeon are perfect, because you hold on to the false belief that maybe it would be.

“Juyeon’s just… a guy, I guess.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” you wonder why he says it. If he’s trying to tell you he’s better than Juyeon and if so, why it would matter. You have no interest in him and never would, so there was no need for Changmin to make himself better than the man you somehow spent still loving, despite all his horrifying flaws.

And there were many of them, and yet you still saw it with rose tinted glasses. Whilst aware of it, it mattered less to you.

“I don’t plan to ever have sex with you if-“

“That wasn’t an invitation,” again, your eyes roll almost instantly. He’s too good at being frustrating, and he sits there with his body leaned forward like he’s engaged in you while he takes a bite of his ice cream.

A bite.

“You’re insane. Why do you bite it?”

“It’s food?”

“It’s cold.”

“Why would I want to just lick it? I barely get any ice cream and then it melts.”

You watch as he bites into another petal and you push your body up a little to see what flavour it might’ve been.

“Vanilla,” he answers and you nod, sitting back with your one leg crossed over the other.

“Isn’t vanilla a little plain?”

“Is that a double entendre?”

It’s so easy to give up when the conversation is so static, so forced because you truly have nothing to talk about. What the hell do you both even have in common?

“I have a cat,” Changmin laughs and it’s a little unexpected, his smile so light and his dimples set deep in his cheeks. It’s an inviting smile, warm, and his tone of laughter is unique and suits him. There’s a childlike amusement to his features as he looks down at the table.

“I also have a cat,” you were curious to see her, or him, but you didn’t really want to ask. Both of you sharing photos of your pets over ice cream and coffee was a little bit too friendly, but you supposed there was now something you had in common, “but I don’t really like cats.”

Nevermind.

“Then why do you have one?”

He thinks, just for a minute as he drinks some of his coffee that had been brought over just a few short minutes before, and you must say now you really want to know why he has a pet he doesn’t even like.

“I found him on the streets. He was put in a box and it was raining. Wasn’t going to take him first because I didn’t want one. But when I went to call someone in the shop nearby, he’d somehow jumped out of the box and started to follow me. He just wouldn’t leave.”

It was unexpectedly sweet and very much something you would’ve never considered. Of course your cat was store bought, expensive and from a litter from a breeder that had done this for the past decade or two. Getting a cat of the streets, even if unintentionally was so out of your character, but you knew when to admit you found it to be kind of Changmin to have done so.

“You kept him?”

“I did. He’s very sweet.”

“Chanhee says my cat is a diva.”

“So she takes after you. Figures,” you could hit him, but you bite your tongue and try a new flavour of the ice cream petals. Coffee. Definitely.

The conversation dies again when it would be so easy to keep it going, but it’s like neither of you have any desire to do so. And yet, you find yourself far more at ease sitting here than you would’ve thought when you first agreed to it. You didn’t feel like you had to make up the silence that you both shared.

He seemed to share the same thoughts, though he didn’t often share eye contact with you. You weren’t sure if he was hesitant to or maybe he just didn’t want to look at you, but previous times you’d met him, he’d always been good at looking you in the eye. It was a little strange that he seemed to look everywhere else but at you now, unless you spoke.

“You smoke, right?” Painful. These occasional conversations littered into being sat here were just simply weird, but you watch as he grabs a bag of loose tobacco out of his jacket as well as some rolling paper and a filter.

“Didn’t you smoke straights last time?”

“You remember?”

Fuck.

“I didn’t forget you offering me one,” he shrugs and you watch as he distributes the tobacco onto the paper carefully between his jewellery adorned fingers. It was distracting and you could curse again for it, because he was doing it all effortlessly with one hand.

“You want one now?”

“I can do it…” he seems to hesitate though ultimately pushes the bag of tobacco over to your end of the table, and you fiddle with the cone of your ice cream between your one hand whilst figuring out how to do this with the other. Actually, how the fuck had Changmin done this?

“How did you-”

“Put it on the table first. You can roll with one hand,” he was definitely more confident in your abilities than you were, and maybe that was sweet but it was also giving you far more credit than you deserved.

You didn’t even want to admit that you couldn’t roll a cigarette at all. You always bought straights, the times you bought any at all. Doing it yourself seemed like extra effort for not much pay off.

You try to mirror Changmin, seeing how much tobacco he used and loosening up the dried leaves between your fingers the way he had done as they all clung together in the bag, then adding a generous amount to the paper you’d taken out of its flat packaging.

“Do you always smoke American spirit?”

“I tend to. Or marlboro. Why?”

You shrug, going back to what you’re doing but you very quickly realise you’ll need both hands. Watching him do it, pushing and pinching the thin paper together to tighten the tobacco with two fingers, maybe three at best, was ridiculous.

“Do you want me to hold your ice cream?”

At this point, you’re determined to prove both him and you that you can do this, when you know the reality is you can’t. Changmin doesn’t know that though, and how hard could it be to roll a cigarette, really?

“You can have it.”

“You have more than half left,” he frowns, putting his nearly rolled cigarette down on the table as he holds your ice cream, watching you and the way your fingers take both ends of the paper to pinch it together, “is it not good?”

“It’s nice. It’s not the flavour,” hopefully, he knows to drop the conversation. Though you look up and can tell by his expression that he likely wants to keep asking but you don’t see why you should need to justify it.

“You need to… no… you have too much,” he sighs, wanting to reach over but both his hands are occupied with both of your ice cream cones and so he can only sit trapped wishing to intervene as you try to make adjustments when he complains with no real instructions as to how you can do it better, “you’ve never done this before.”

“So I’ve been caught,” as if one of the cafe staff had noticed him struggling, they bring over a holder for two ice cream cones that are scattered on a few tables, yours not having been one of them.

“Thank you,” he redirects his attention to you, hands free, “look, I’ll teach you,” you scoff, crossing your arms as you’ve let go of the damaged bundle of tobacco in a scrunched up paper, looking between its state and back up at Changmin. You didn’t want him to teach you anything, because you didn’t think he had anything worth showing you. Yet at the same time, you didn’t enjoy not knowing how to do something, and if he was willingly prepared to show you how to actually do it, maybe you shouldn’t deny him.

“I don’t really smoke…”

“I won’t encourage you to,” he grabs another rolling paper, holding it out to you and you hesitate but ultimately take it between your fingers as he does the same, ignoring his near finished cigarette to start over, “but I smoke a lot, so I’ll take it off your hands if you don’t want it.”

“You’ll get cancer,” you’re disgusted but you don’t have much of a right to be. You smoke too and do far worse things. Every party could bring you to the brink of death if you aren’t careful enough with what you’re using, and yet you’re telling him he’s risking his life.

“Thanks, the packaging hadn’t told me,” you recognise Changmin’s sarcastic tone well by now, given that it’s the tone he mostly spoke to you in, but you also don’t retaliate this time. You had nothing to say, nothing to add that wouldn’t be another circular back and forth of neither of you ever getting to the point or settling a fight.

“The tobacco is quite tight, so you’ll have to loosen it with your fingers a little before you put it on the paper.”

“What about the filter?”

“It’s harder to roll with a filter. Try without first,” but you’re stubborn, and you grab a filter and bring it to one edge of the rolling paper before he can take it away from you. Sighing, he relents and grabs one too to demonstrate more accurately.

“You’re ridiculous,”

“And I won’t be caught dead smoking a non filtered cigarette.”

“You should try it. The nicotine high is amazing,” okay, so maybe you’d reconsider. You’d never thought of it, even if it was obvious, “you’re curious now.”

“I might be,” Changmin smiles and your cheeks feel a little warmer, but surely it’s the warm coffee and the indoor heating and not the fact that he looked at you with eyes that were gentle, like his happiness in showing you something wasn’t structured into an act of false behaviour.

Then you wonder why it makes any difference. If he wasn’t being genuine, did it matter?

He leans back over and slips the filter away from your paper, then adjusts and sits up a little straighter before his body moves back into your space to be a little closer to demonstrate.

“So, you loosen some of the tobacco between your fingers. This one is quite dry- and then you bring it onto the paper like so,” you follow his lead, though you could’ve managed this part on your own. This was the one part you’d done correctly without his help, “you want it to be pretty even but don’t worry about it not being perfect.”

“It has to be perfect,” he sighs, his head rolling down in defeat before he slowly looks back up at you.

“Perfection is an unattainable fantasy. Now take your fingers and move them to either edge and pinch while rolling it like so.”

You follow his lead though if you’re entirely honest, you have no idea how he makes it look so easy and effortless. His tobacco bunches together into a beautiful neat line perfectly, whilst yours is a disaster in which it falls or thins out too much on one end. It feels awkward and incorrect, the way you do it, and yet you’re following his exact instructions.

“You’re terrible at this.”

“Or you suck at teaching,” giving up was tempting, but showing Changmin defeat wasn’t an option. You wanted to get this, no matter how awful the end outcome would be.

“You have the ends. Move your fingers more into the middle to roll.”

“It doesn’t work like that!”

He looks exasperated, his glasses moving slightly as he raises his brows and huffs out in annoyance at your inability to do something he deemed simple, “you’re just bad at this. That’s okay.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not bad at things.”

“Just roll the paper over once you have the right shape. Wet the end and seal it and then you can tap the end against the table,” he shows you how, but he does it so quickly you barely manage to follow his movements. He’s amazing at it, you do have to admit, but you hate him for it because you want to be better. It’s irrational, because how realistic is it for you to be better at rolling a cigarette when you’d never done it before, when Changmin had probably done it for years?

“It’s not tight like yours though.”

“Just try. You have the movement right,” but it doesn’t feel right. It feels awkward and you might just blame it on your acrylics for not managing, but the end result is so pathetic that you’re surprise the cigarette even holds.

“It’s… a cigarette.”

“I’m not smoking that,” Changmin doesn’t seem surprised, but he does surprise you when he places his perfectly rolled cigarette right before you and takes yours instead, placing it behind his ear before retrieving his jacket and taking his melting ice cream, “you coming?”

Well, you suppose you were now.

You grab the bag with his hoodie in one hand, Changmin’s cigarette in the other as you follow him outside, leaving your ice cream to melt before it’s thrown away. It’s not unnoticed by him either, and he turns around to grab it between his fingers, “if you won’t have it, I will. You’re wasting money and good ice cream.”

“I’m watching my figure.”

“Why?”

He holds both cones in one hand with their remnants of sweet gelato, placing his cigarette between his lips and lighting it with one hand turned away from the storm and rain. The shop has an overhang to shield you both from direct downpour, but lighters are stubborn with wind and he seems to know it well.

His one worded question seems strange. It’s not worried, nor is it judgemental. At least you don’t perceive it to be. It’s simply confused, like he’s genuinely surprised that you would even bother at all.

“Because I want to be thin.”

Changmin wants to say something. You can tell he does, that there’s something right on his lips yet he doesn’t speak it. He resists words he probably knows you really don’t want to hear. He would be right, because any comments about your body aren’t welcomed unless they’re compliments that remind you of what you’ve worked for. All the times you don’t eat are rewarded with the acknowledgement of it.

“Here,” he holds out his lighter, the flame igniting right by your lips in which the cigarette is perched carefully, and you lean in enough and inhale so that it burns.

“Thanks.”

“You really are peculiar,” you don’t see how you are. From your point of view, he’s the abnormal one. He dresses cheap despite the school he attends, he doesn’t socialise, and he seems so ignorant to his surroundings and the importance of appearance, “I have to go.”

It takes you by surprise. Your thoughts had been so tangled and convoluted that you hadn’t seen him take his phone out, much less fumble with the ice cream, his cigarette and the device to answer whoever it was.

You wondered who it was.

“Who is it?”

You can’t help it. Call it morbid curiosity, even in regards to Changmin of all people, “I completely forgot I have a date.”

The thought of anyone going out with Changmin was a concept you weren’t ready to wrap your head around, but maybe if it was a girl he’d met online, she’d based it merely on appearance and even you wouldn’t fully be able to say that he was ugly. You knew he wasn’t, as much as it pained you to admit he was actually rather beautiful when he didn’t open his mouth.

“Is she cute?”

“She’s cute, yeah,” but he doesn’t seem excited. It almost feels like an insult to hear how he speaks about the prospect of his date. Were all men like this?

Had Juyeon been so disinterested when he first dated you?

“You’re going dressed like this?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

Boy, he really wasn’t trying. It felt near cruel, because you were almost certain that the girl would be beautiful, and even if her physical appearance wasn’t as gorgeous, she would make up for it in every way with the way she chose to dress.

And Changmin was in casual attire, his hair had fallen to his face and he seemed tired.

“Poor girl.”

“It’s really not your business,” and then he discards his cigarette and grabs the bag you’d been holding without warning, practically ripping it out of your hand and the movement feels more aggressive than you’re used to from him. His tone could be harsh but his actions never were, and so it surprised you when he didn’t even ask to take it.

“Thank you for the hoodie.”

He doesn’t sound thankful at all. Changmin sounds annoyed, as he throws the little remnants of ice cream cone with next to no ice cream left, in the trash he passes as he walks away from you. You stand there, empty handed aside from the cigarette that was burning but barely smoked, and you honestly feel lost. You’re strangely confused and unsure, and you really don’t quite know why.

You felt like maybe you’d managed to really get under his skin, and if that were the case, you were sure it was the first time you’d ever managed it. Yet you’d expected it to feel different, to frustrate him enough to show true emotion in his anger and discontent towards you.

Instead it just felt like nothing.

You’re not sure what to make of Changmin. But you had bought a packet of loose tobacco and pink rolling paper to fiddle with in the comfort of your large bedroom. You were near naked, just out of your shower and only in underwear whilst you fiddled around with the cigarette in your hand. It was fucking difficult, and you’d probably gone through ten different videos on youtube teaching you how to do it. At least trying to, and each time you just failed to fully do it right.

Juyeon had called you and while you’d originally wanted to pick up and even thought to, by the time you made any attempt to move your hands, he’d already hung up.

Chanhee had also called though and you had picked up, asking how he was though he pushed for you to answer first, and you hadn’t known what to say. You felt fine yet simultaneously you felt strangely numb. It wasn’t that you didn’t care, it’s that Juyeon had worn you down. He’d broken something in you and collecting the pieces wasn’t possible because not all parts still existed.

Convincing yourself that it was over was difficult when Juyeon was right there to call back.

You wanted to.

It takes about ten failed attempts at rolling a cigarette before you manage one that’s just decent enough to smoke, and in your mind you wish to share your success with Changmin, since he was the one that had witnessed your inability to do it in the first place. You wanted to prove a point, as petty and unimportant as it was. You could roll a damn cigarette.

But you’d rather roll over in your grave than ask anyone for his phone number. If anyone even had it. He’d said he was supervising a friend the night you first really spoke to him but you’d yet to see him talking with anyone at all. Who was Changmin friends with, if anyone at all?

The question dwelled on you curiously. You didn’t think he’d lied to you that night, you had to at least give him the benefit of his annoying ability to always speak what you assumed to be his truth. He didn’t care of the consequence or if it hurt, and you supposed maybe that was where your one similarity lay.

If you hurt someone, it didn’t really matter as long as it made you look good.

“Dear? Could I come in?”

Your mother being home was unexpected. Her knocking on your bedroom door to ask if she could come in was even stranger. It made you worry, and you quickly discarded all your rolled cigarettes in a drawer as well as any other damning evidence aside from the one now considered a masterpiece to show off. You placed it behind your ear and straightened your posture, “yeah?”

“You need to draw the curtains,” she criticised, walking over to the massive window to give you far more than you bargained for with the natural sunlight despite the depressing clouds, “and we do not smoke indoors.”

“I’m not smoking it!”

“Attitude,” you want to sigh but you’re sure that runs in the same category as what she’d just warned you about in your tone, so you bite your tongue and just wait to hear what she wants.

“I’ve been told you’ve missed a lot of your classes.”

“By who?”

“We had dinner with the Lee’s. Juyeon expressed his concern over you. Why you ever broke up with that handsome young man is beyond me, Y/N,” yeah, it was beyond you too, at this point. Clearly you were the fucking idiot, as everyone so rightfully had begun to assume. Juyeon was the perfect man, one most girls would probably dream of and you had him. You had him, and you wasted the opportunity to be happy with him.

And what for?

“I know, mother.”

“You should come with this time. Maybe you can both make up before we go on that lovely vacation together.”

“What…?”

She stands by the edge of your bed with condescending eyes that look down on you and make you feel small, which was ironic because your mother was about a head shorter than you and incredibly petite, but her personality was so in your face, her stare so cold that it made you feel like nothing. She made you feel insignificant and she did so perfectly.

“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten? You’ve always been forgetful,” you cast your eyes down to your lap, listening to her berate you and having no real way of defending yourself without it earning you a slap or worse.

“I’m sorry. Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Go on a walk. You could go to the docks on one of the boats. I don’t care. But stop missing classes because I will not have a failure of a child when she gets everything handed to her,” it stings. It really stings to be insulted so genuinely. Your grades were by no means terrible and your mother rarely cared before about any of your stupid behaviour, but you supposed as soon as your mask slipped and you fell towards lower status, she could sense it like a blood hound and she was intent on destroying you to a point in which you’d need to remodel yourself to be perfect again.

You were grateful for her, because she knew how to shape you into someone you wanted to be.

“And invite Juyeon if you’re taking the boat out!”

She leaves without another glance your way and you feel like nothing, but you also call Juyeon, so you suppose her harsh words and loveless demeanour worked. They worked at beating you down and you listened to her, but you couldn’t say you weren’t at least a little relieved when Juyeon didn’t pick up at first.

“What?”

Damn it.

“You called me first.”

“And now you’re calling me back,” it felt like a game. It was constant at this point and it never felt healthy and yet you knew no better. You weren’t dumb but Juyeon had an incredible way of making you appear to be the greatest idiot.

“My mother wants us to take the boat out,” you wait for a response, not hearing one first until there’s shuffling on the other line.

“Just us?”

“Well, she likes you,” you add, which you knew would work well for his bruised ego. Juyeon loved being told he was liked and you knew how to feed into it well. You’d spent years learning the intricacies that made up Lee Juyeon, and you doubted that would ever fully go away. You weren’t sure if you wanted it to go at all.

“Have you told her why I haven’t been around?”

“You could always tell her yourself. She hates me enough, you can’t make it worse,” you hear him on the other end and you hope he feels bad for you. You want him to, even if it’s just for a little moment.

“That’s just not as fun,” he breaks your illusioned disbelief that he could be sympathetic towards you and you wish yet again for your remaining feelings to go away.

Instead, you decide to be stupid and slip up.

“I really loved you.”

The silence is so painfully long you could honestly throw yourself out the two story window of the view your mother had just revealed to you moments before.

“You don’t love me anymore?”

The way you fell into his traps was so effortless. Juyeon wasn’t having to really try and yet you fell right into his hand every time without fail. You were so drawn to him and you couldn't tell for what reason. Because in truth you didn’t really see yourself as wanting a relationship with him, he was an asshole and yet you ran in circles because you somehow still liked him despite it all.

“Juyeon…”

“Do you love me?”

He asks it again and the question is a demand for you to answer and yet it doesn’t come naturally to you the way you want it to. It feels false, maybe because you know you’re walking yourself into a trap. Yet the trap being laid out for you to see doesn’t hinder you any less from falling into it because of the reward you see in the midst of it.

“I love you.”

“Then why don’t we celebrate?”

A yacht party was not at all what you had in mind when celebrating your pathetic attempt at clearing your image by being back on Juyeon’s side. But Juyeon had insisted and your mother had somehow overheard at some point and was practically beaming just at the prospect of Juyeon being back on one of your family boats. Her timing was masterful and you hated everything about it.

You also hated the looks you were getting, judgement, whilst Juyeon was on the opposite end of the yacht gleaming and taking in every ounce of sympathy like it fed him. He’d so graciously forgiven you, told everyone that it was an honest mistake and that he understood you both were over, and now everyone stood at his feet as if ready to do any and all of his bidding.

It was insufferable.

“I think he likes attention more than you,” Chanhee mumbles, standing next to you now with a champagne flute between his delicate fingers and you turn to him with a frown on your face.

“I think it’s pathetic.”

“I’d agree,” your best friend leans back a little, staring into the dark water as night time beams above you in the shape of a crescent moon, “but you go for it every time.”

“I’m not here for a lecture,” you have a sip of your drink, grimacing at the strength of it. You’d been a little too generous on the rum, even for your standards, but you need the alcohol if you’re going to get through this night out on open water.

“Have you seen the new kids?”

Chanhee nudges you towards another direction, one that has two younger men downing a glass of something each, and being urged on to do so by Younghoon and Hyunjae. Juyeon was now talking to a girl you didn’t care to know the name of, but he occasionally glanced over too.

“Freshmen?”

“Mhmm, one of them is kinda cute, no?”

You give your best friend an odd look before glancing back over. They both look young, not older than twenty, playful and energetic and so full of life that you wonder when that’ll go away. You wonder when both of them will realise the world is dark and being so carefree was simply being naive.

“Which one?”

Chanhee gestures to the one on the left, with dark hair and full lips that you’re sure has made girls jealous in the past, and if not jealous, at least more than willing to kiss him. He seemed to know it too, because something about him felt cocky and maybe even arrogant, despite his sweet playful smile and loud laugh that you could hear from this far away.

The other, a striking blonde colour of hair that he’d definitely bleached with a sharp pointed nose that seemed surgical, making you wonder if he’d invested in a nose job as soon as he’d turned eighteen. It wouldn’t surprise you if he had, for if it was real it was almost absurdly perfect.

“Juyeon invited them?” Chanhee shrugs, though given that neither you nor your best friend seemed to have any clue on who they were and had no influence on them showing up, you were almost certain it was Juyeon. It was near confirmed when your recent lover approached the blonde and wrapped an arm over his shoulder, ruffling through his hair playfully though you could see the roughness in his grip.

It’d surely be blamed on boys being boys.

“I’m gonna grab another drink,” you say, and you can see Juyeon’s eyes meet yours as you do. He detaches from the blonde and approaches you, and god do you wish it wasn’t noticeable to everyone that he was doing so.

“Little princess,” he leans against the railing, watching as you pour yourself more rum but in truth you are ready to down the whole bottle when he talks to you, “why’re you frowning?”

“Did you invite freshmen?”

“Who? Oh- you mean Sunwoo and Eric? I did, yeah. They’re cute, right?”

There had to be a motive. You didn’t trust Juyeon to have pure intentions and simply so graciously bring a pair of freshmen onto a party such as this. There was no way in hell Juyeon would introduce someone into his social circle without gaining something out of it. Especially someone younger than him.

“What’re you doing with them?”

“I’m thinking a sex party?” you laugh because it’s absurd, but Juyeon laughs too because he’s managed to humour you and it’s nice. It’s nice to laugh with someone you consider close, someone that is similar to you and that understands the importance of status and appearance.

“Now what is it actually?”

Juyeon looks over, seeing his friends and the two in question playing around with a lighter and the not lit outdoor fireplace. At least not lit yet, given that they were clearly trying. Hyunjae was sat on the circular couch, Younghoon lying next to him, Sunwoo standing and berating Eric who was hunched over trying to light the coal, “he needs ignition.”

“I’ll go grab it for him.”

Juyeon leaves you standing there with a bad feeling. Drunk people around a fire, intoxicated people in general around live flames was a recipe for disaster. Yet you weren’t stopping it. Maybe because you knew it wouldn’t be you to fall into it.

Chanhee had joined them, sat next to Hyunjae with his legs curled under his thighs as he held a new glass in hand, looking so delicate and regal he felt most like royalty out of all of you. He was so beautiful, it made you jealous again. It was worse, too, to know that he had naturally just formed to be this way, whilst your parents had discretely paid for your nose to be fixed, your breasts to be augmented and to have some leftover fat dissolved to appear even smaller.

Not that you’d outright admitted it to anyone, though you were sure those who’d known you long enough, knew that a part of you simply wasn’t real anymore, because reality wasn’t pretty and you wanted to be.

Juyeon joined them a few seconds after with lighter fluid, thankfully not being too generous with how much he coated the charcoal in. At least he seemed sober, more than anyone else that was sat there, and you watched Eric attempting to light the flames again, this time successful in sparking a fire that jumped high enough to nearly hit his face, making him jump back in surprise and panic at the thought of getting burned.

Unbelievable.

You walked over to them and sat down at the very edge, Eric turning his attention to you with a bright smile that surprised even you. He seemed energetic and sweet, but why he was so open to you simply coming over was a strange feeling. Juyeon noticed it too, and before you realised, he’d moved to sit between you both.

“Are you jealous?” Juyeon looks at you with a forced smile, shaking his head before having more of his drink and turning his attention to you.

“I have no reason to be,” he answers, and you suppose he’s right though just the same you wish for him to be, “I’m not the jealous type.”

It felt like a lie. Juyeon’s characteristics that made up who he was were all fairly negative and jealousy was one of them. But then he’d have ways in which he showed kindness with gentle touches and you fell into it because those touches were warm and those words were sweet.

“Not like me, right?”

You attempt a joke you both know to be true. You could easily get jealous, because the prospect of having romantic competition made you feel worthless, like you weren’t good enough, and so anger came naturally whenever your worth was threatened.

“Not like you,” he has more of his drink and you drown out the conversation, watching the way your best friend cuts up two lines of cocaine with Sunwoo now, as if he’d made a quick natural friend and you’re just at the very edge being forgotten. It’s the feeling of unimportance and being replaced that bothers you, and instead you focus on the fire right in front of you. It’s enchanting and beautiful, tempting enough to fall into because it’s warm and inviting.

It’s dangerous too and that isn’t lost on you, but you still lean a little closer, being careful to push your hair back whilst you watch the flames. You’re in a little world, one none of them are in and you honestly don’t think they ever really noticed how close you’d gotten to the fire, which ends up being the big mistake.

You’re not sure what happens, but the flames make a crackling sound and the fire rises so incredibly close to your face, you feel the heat sting at your skin. It sends you into high alert and panic, causing you to scream and turn around just quick enough to avoid it burning your face. Unfortunately, the wind and your hair among the flames causes the strands to start burning.

“What the fuck, Eric!”

“We need to put it out!” Chanhee. That’s his voice and the only one you can make out. The others barely seem to move and you’re not sure if it’s shock or because they don’t care, but Chanhee is genuinely the only one moving at first.

You can feel the way it hurts your skin, but it all happens so fast that the pain barely registers with the way the back fabric of your dress singes.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Chanhee, again, but then you feel another force that sends you falling forward and the sound of a fire extinguisher.

“YOU’RE NOT MEANT TO USE THAT ON A PERSON!”

So many voices, complete panic and you barely register any of it. You feel dazed, nearly unresponsive and it’s likely the shock settling in that just leaves you numb to it. At least the fire seems to be out, given the darkness that had cast over all of you. Your skin feels cold at first, until you feel a heavy blanket over your shoulder and Juyeon crouches in front of you.

He’s speaking to you, but you really have no idea what he’s saying. Even when he cups your cheeks, it’s completely lost on you. Nothing he says is audible and for just a brief second you wonder if maybe you’d entirely lost your hearing, though you don’t see why you would and you’d heard voices just seconds before.

You feel him touch your hair and you’re relieved more than anything to know it’s still there at first. The very relief of knowing that makes you want to cry, but you refuse to show any of them that you were scared.

“She needs a hospital. Turn the boat around,” you hate attention like this. When you’re vulnerable, it’s not what you want.

“How bad is it…?”

You sound hoarse, but Juyeon doesn’t get time to answer because Eric intervenes with panicked eyes. He looks so genuinely guilty, like a kicked puppy and you know almost immediately that deep down it was likely a genuine mistake. Though it didn’t really matter as the damage was done either way, “I’m so, so sorry. I’m really sorry.”

You don’t think you forgive him. Even if he looks sorry, you’re more than a little upset, rightfully so, “I can’t believe you’re so fucking stupid. Who’re you trying to impress, anyway?”

It cuts him, you can tell. That childlike energy that had been there before dies the second you speak to him like he means nothing. Eric looks like he could cry and you’re certain you don’t really care but something about his eyes make you feel guilty. And you don’t do well with guilt.

You force yourself up and away from everyone, pushing past Younghoon harshly because you can see him trying to bite down laughter. You’re near close to slapping him, but you don’t want even more unwanted attention.

You hide away in the bathroom and no one seems to follow you first, locking the door after yourself before stripping down to your underwear, discarding your heels and letting your feet rest bare against the tiled interior. Every bit of sound is slowly coming back, and you seem to be returning to your senses as you cast your eyes outside through the small circular window, seeing the distant city and the water break into aggressive ripples of small waves.

You run your hands through your hair, trying to adjust the mess that it probably was before you realise that certain strands come to an abrupt harsh stop. It feels uneven, shortened and burned and that’s when you first notice the smell that becomes so sharp so suddenly that it overwhelms you.

You open your palm up to be met with charcoals of black burnt hair that you’d broken trying to brush through it with your fingers and now you’re completely certain that you fucking hate Eric. He’d ruined your appearance, and it’s only confirmed when you look in the mirror and are met with something so ugly, you could break the glass in front of you.

So you do. You break down and shatter the mirror because what you see disgusts you. A part of what had made you so feminine and pretty was scorched unevenly, in parts up to your shoulder, and it was so ugly and heart wrenching you could’ve thrown up just remembering what it looked like.

It was so ugly and unattractive and the worst was knowing that everyone else had seen it before you. They had seen it, and said nothing. Juyeon had touched your strands of hair near the root and yet said nothing to indicate that a part of it was missing by the ends of where your hair usually fell.

You can’t take seeing it, and in your slightly intoxicated mind it makes you sink enough that you throw up into the toilet, hating yourself more than you ever had. It would take years to grow back the hair you’d lost, and worst was that you’d have to let go of the length that some strands still held. The ones that went unscathed and were still perfect would be lost just the same.

It was so embarrassing.

Your hand was bleeding, shards of broken glass between the knuckles but you made no attempt to get rid of them. You could’ve been dying and it would’ve meant nothing to you.

A knock on the door snaps you out of your dazed mind but you don’t respond. You hope maybe they’ll go away, but then there’s another knock followed by a third in quick succession, “want a line?”

Chanhee. You laugh at the way he speaks and then you soften because he’s there, standing on the other side and looking for you. So with the little strength you can bother to conjure up, you unlock the door for him.

“Holy shit,” it’s not you being naked that really surprises him, but rather the utter damaged state this room was in, “your parents are gonna kill you.”

“Fuck, I didn’t even think about that,” you groan, watching your best friend lock the door once more before grabbing a towel and turning on the faucet, the water presumably cold.

“I hear Juyeon’s pissed,” Chanhee starts, and it manages a smile out of you just briefly as he comes over, “Eric feels horrible, though.”

“He should,” you snarl, watching the way Chanhee grabs a pair of tweezers from his purse, disinfecting it with a wipe before grabbing your hand.

“Should I book you a hairdresser?”

You know he’s trying to lighten the mood, but you don’t find it funny. You don’t say anything as he starts to remove some of the glass from your skin, carefully and precise as to not cause you more injury. He seems to get the hint, that you’re not in the mood for anything lighthearted, so he stops and falls silent that only you break after a few minutes.

“I’m ugly, Chanhee.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll get a cute haircut and you’ll be perfect again.”

Even if that were to be true, you’d never be Chanhee. You felt so jealous, the more you thought of it. So much so, that you wanted to hate him. You wanted to tell him how unfair it was, that he didn’t deserve it when you did, but you would never dare to break what made you two so close. You loved him.

“I don’t want a haircut. I want my hair.”

“I know,” but he says it like you should know that it’s not an option. You do know, and it makes you want to die inside.

Another knock and a voice you make out to be Juyeon’s, so you let Chanhee reach over and unlock the door as a familiar figure leans in with a smirk on his face. Maybe it’s seeing you sat here naked, but you turn your head away to avoid looking at him, “ambulance is here. We’ve docked.”

Chanhee finishes getting one more piece of glass out and helps you up, Juyeon handing you your dress and helping you with your shoes, touching your bare legs so carefully that it makes you feel a little shaky. He smiles, looking up at you with sweet gentle eyes that are so unlike him and once again bring in the idea of a motive to your mind, “your mothers gonna kill you for that glass, by the way.”

Everything else after the boat docked had become a blur. You had some mild burns but your now ruined dress had protected most of the flames before they were put out, so most of the marks were faint angry red shades on your back that would likely fade over time if you kept it well treated and applied an ointment to avoid scarring. You’d been grateful that it hadn’t been worse but the state you were in didn’t quite feel better.

Your hand wasn’t broken, but one of the gashes had been pretty bad unbeknownst to you and it had needed five stitches, everything being wrapped up in a bandage as you were told to rest a couple of days.

You’d wanted to rest, but the following morning, your mother had other ideas.

“Juyeon tells me you had an accide- my god, what happened to your hair?”

“I burned it off,” came your response, feeling your blanket being ripped away from you, your bare legs being met with the cold air as you tried to adjust your shirt.

“Why in heaven's name would you ever do that?” God, you could laugh. She clearly didn’t know you, if she ever thought you’d do such a stupid thing intentionally.

“I’ll get it sorted,” though you’d made no attempt at making an appointment. As long as the outside world didn’t see you, you could be as ugly as you wanted.

“You, young lady, are headed to class,” she slaps the bottom of your leg before running over to your beloved curtains, tearing them open and letting the offensive light blind you, “you’ve missed far too much already.”

“I’d rather die than go looking like this,” you mutter, earning you another slap to your skin that makes you sit up sharply and glare at her with such discontent, she must know that you hate her.

“Should’ve made an appointment in the morning then. You can fix it later, but you’re going, now.”

There was no point in arguing. Even with a valid doctor's note, it was pointless. She’d make you go to uni and whatever you said would be entirely without point because it wasn’t valid. It didn’t matter. The best you could do was attempt to look presentable despite your singed hair and then run to your family's go to salon for help right after.

You made sure to wear something revealing. Something hopefully distracting enough so that the hair you’d tied up in a bun, wouldn’t be very noticeable. You actually thought you managed to hide it with fair success, but you had to pull out nearly every trick you knew about a tight ballerina bun to hide most of the damage. The biggest issue was the damaged strands being so short in length sometimes, that they kept falling back out and refusing to lay the way you wanted them to.

Your mother had already left the house by the time you were ready, in a tight mini skirt and a shirt kept together by string in the middle, showing plenty of skin all the way down to your pierced navel. It was just enough to grab attention away from everything else that needed fixing.

Getting to class made you realise just how much people talk. As if the vitriol from Juyeon humiliating you with Changmin’s name hadn’t been bad enough, now everyone seemed to know about your burns and the bandage on your hand didn’t help either. You’d overheard someone say that they thought you’d gone off the rails, making you shove your shoulder against theirs so that they fell off balance.

But that girl hadn’t been the only one to say it. It felt like everyone was looking at you again, like this was high school and your dirty little secrets were all exposed to be mocked and tormented until you well and truly became the off the rails mess that they already claimed for you to be. The looks were horrific, but the fake sympathy in trying to speak to you was worse.

Though you’d truly wanted to lose it when you overheard the sympathy Eric was getting. How sorry he’d been and how it had been such a horrible accident. How bad he felt, that you’d rejected his apology and been so cruel to him. That you were truly a horrible person. Even if it might’ve been true that Eric felt bad, he had hurt you, and yet no one spared any real empathy for you. No one cared.

You had one more class for the day but a long gap in between where you’d need to find something to do, and so you settled on the park nearby with a small lunch and a coffee, having a sip before you reached for the tobacco in your bag.

You still wouldn’t call yourself a smoker, but you could use one now and it was still practice and improvement from the absolute travesty you had rolled before. Besides, you found it peaceful, to sit there and roll a cigarette to then smoke or save for later.

“It’s getting better,” you look up and see Changmin already with a cigarette between his lips, placing it between his fingers to move it down and away from his mouth as he exhales. He’s dressed warm, in a dark sweater and jeans with a coat over both, his eyes staring at your own as he takes you in, “you want help?”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I didn’t ask if you needed it. I asked if you wanted it,” you were struggling and he could tell. Your hand still hurt from injuring it and it made rolling even more awkward, so eventually you relented and just shoved the bag of tobacco out for him to take. He sighs and sits next to you, turning his body a bit towards you as he discards his own cigarette entirely in favour of starting over.

“Why’d you waste it?”

“Well, I figured if I offered it to you, you’d refuse it,” he was right, “I’ll roll two.”

Normally you’d be tempted to argue and fight with him using your stuff, but you have no energy and he was kind enough to share with you last time. You watch him, the way his fingers work together to roll the first cigarette, and you can’t say you’re not entranced because you are. The way he does it makes it all seem so easy.

He seals the first cigarette with his tongue before placing it behind his ear, and you swear for the first time you saw a hint of jewellery, “do you have a piercing?”

“I have more than one,” he gets to work on the next one, looking over at you briefly as you try not to stare too obviously. You’d seen the ones on his ear but the one on his tongue had been new to you.

“I never noticed.”

“We don’t really talk,” he hands you your cigarette and you nod in thanks, twisting it between your fingers once to inspect it before placing it between your lips. You end up fiddling with your lighter, huffing in frustration each time it refuses to light. The wind worked against you and it seemed low on lighter fluid already, but still you persisted.

“Here,” his cigarette is lit, and he places the burning side against yours, “just inhale.”

You listen to him and the flames transfer to your cigarette when you do, thanking him again, though you’re not sure why he didn’t just offer you his lighter instead, “I had it.”

“Sure,” you both fall silent again and you must admit it’s getting a little bit annoying to have nothing to really talk about. It seems so pointless, like it holds no real purpose and yet there’s a comfort in just being sat here and clearing your head.

“What did you do with your hand?”

“You’re telling me you haven’t heard?” you don’t believe it. Changmin might not socialise but he does hear about things. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been so wrapped up in the last one. Or maybe that one only reached him because it directly involved him.

“Isn’t it better to hear the truth from you?” he surprises you again. You hadn’t really thought of it that way. In your eyes, people were always quick to believe what they were told from others whether or not it was the truth. Especially from those whose words held more weight simply because of who they were. And if someone like Younghoon, who you suspected, was running around telling people you were insane, they were bound to believe it without fact checking his claims at all.

“I broke a mirror,” he laughs, as if it’s amusing to hear about your screw up and you wonder if it would be worth hitting him again.

“You really are something else, even for a rich person,” you want to know if that surprises him. If he’s as confused by you as you are by him and his strange behaviour. He seems to bite back less in sarcasm today, but he still speaks like he’s unimpressed, unphased by your violent outburst and rather finding it amusing.

You stare at him for a long time, taking in his side profile up close. The way his glasses frame his face, how his dimples aren’t as deep but still there because he’s trying to bite back his amusement in a smile that you find pretty, even if you won’t say it. He takes another drag of his cigarette, then turns his attention back to you, though it quickly falls from your face to your hair as he gestures to it, “and this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair up.”

“You pay attention to things like that?”

“Unintentionally, yes.”

“But you don’t notice it’s burnt?”

“Oh, no, I noticed it,” of course he did. He was probably waiting for the opportunity to tug your hairpins out so he could see the disaster that is your hair. It probably didn’t matter, really, if he saw it, but you liked the belief that you could remain beautiful, at least in someone's eyes, regardless of who they were.

Then again, Changmin might not find you pretty at all.

“I wasn’t meant to come today but my mother told me to. I haven’t been able to fix it,” you’re not sure why you’re honest, especially to him, but he doesn’t really say anything at first while he continues smoking, “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.”

“Neither do I,” god, what an asshole. He simply couldn’t keep his mouth shut and accept it, “is it true a freshmen burned it off?”

“So you did hear about it?”

“I saw him getting coddled in the hallway. I think a girl brought him flowers,” of course she did. He gets flowers and you get to drop a couple of hundred at the hairdresser to salvage what’s left. You’re not even sure you want to go at all and be faced with the vitriol.

“I really don’t need our family hairdresser to tell the whole community about my hair being charcoal black because of a drunk night out.”

“You have a family hairdresser?” it’s like it’s the most absurd thing you’ve said, stranger than your hair being burnt by an open flame, or the fact that you smashed a mirror and your mother dragged you out anyway, or the countless other things, actually, that you’d said and he hadn’t really cared to comment on.

“You focus on the wrong things.”

“And all you focus on is superficial at best,” you wonder what he considers the worst, “so you’re not going to get it fixed?”

No, you are going to get it fixed. That’s what you want to tell him, that of course you’re going to drag your ass there right after your final lesson is over. That it’ll be perfect again tomorrow and you will be perfect and you can forget all about it. Maybe you can even forgive Eric if you’re feeling extra generous, although you don’t think you will be.

“I will. I just… have to find another hairdresser. I don’t really know how to do that.”

“Google it?” you grimace, eyeing him strangely yet he looks at you like you have three heads. Like something is seriously wrong with you and you wonder if he’s right or if he just has no concept of the real world.

“I don’t want them to say something.”

“I doubt they care,” Changmin offends you, but he says it nonchalantly and casually as he puts out his cigarette and discards the filtered end, “let me do it.”

“I’d rather die than let you touch me,” it’s a quick answer, snapping back at him with determination because you really would rather sign an early death than let him any closer than he already is just sitting here next to you.

“But I don’t care about how ridiculous you might look,” so he admits you probably look insane. You know better than to believe that he wouldn’t laugh at you, yet you also wonder if maybe that was better than it being spoken around your closed community and bringing embarrassment to your parents for your drunk failings. They didn’t care what you did if it didn’t affect them, yet this might and therefore it became a bigger problem.

“Do you even know how to cut hair?”

“How hard can it be?”

“Absolutely not,” you think that’s the end of it, but you hadn’t known Changmin to be so determined with something such as this, for he seems persistent in making a case for himself as he turns to you fully.

“I think you should think about it.”

“You could make it worse. You have no idea what you’re doing and you hate me too,” he doesn’t disagree with it, though he does seem to think. Perhaps another way of making his case though you really don’t know what could convince you when you had money at your fingertips to even fly halfway across the globe for someone to fix it for you.

Which, actually, might’ve not been a bad idea. No one would know you abroad.

“I wouldn’t cut it any more than where the strands are burnt.”

“No.”

“Fine, at least let me see it.”

“Absolutely not,” he huffs like a child, watching the clouds pass while the sky dims to a depressing grey, indicating rainfall. You don’t need to be laughed at, especially by someone lesser than you.

“I have to go,” you want to ask him how his date went. You remember it now that he goes to leave. Yet you also know not to ask him. The last thing you wanted was his assumption that you might be interested in him, “you can think about it.”

“I don’t think I will.”

“Suit yourself, little doll,” he leaves you alone and you simply stay sat with a frown on your face until the raindrops start falling and you’re forced to go inside.

They had all been right. You’d lost your mind, completely, because the hairdresser you had found completely destroyed your ends even more and you refused to let yourself be seen by anyone until it was fixed. Like a dog with his tail between his legs, you drove to university without the intent of actually going to class, but rather waited like a stalker for Changmin to appear at some point, because he had to, right?

It took far longer than you’d hoped, because the first time he had appeared, there were far too many people around for you to give in to his suggestion of doing it himself, but turns out paying for it to have it done professionally hadn’t done much of a difference and had been far from worth it.

The second time he came out, he had his nose in a book and was barely watching where he was going, and you figured it would be the perfect time to step out and talk to him. You’d still dressed up, albeit not as much as you usually might to avoid detection, when you approach him and stand right before him.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, his head not moving up to look at you as he keeps walking. You felt ridiculous chasing him, but you grabbed his shoulder and stopped him in his steps, finally looking up to face you, “oh, it’s you.”

“What do you mean, oh?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. What the fuck happened to your hair?” Changmin asks, seeing that you kept it out but hidden under the hood of your jacket, and he could still see the damaged parts as you’d eventually gotten up mid hair appointment to leave before she could finish and do any worse.

“Someone fucked it up, obviously. Are you stupid?”

“No, but your insults when you want something from me are a poor choice,” you cross your arms, standing straighter to look down on him, heels just tall enough to do so while he adjusts and closes his book, “so, what is it?”

“I… need your help,” fuck, that pains you. It really kicks your ego and confidence to have to ask something of him. Well, not that you had to, but you were refusing the family hairdresser even more now and if Changmin fucked up too, at least his services were free.

“You want my help?”

“You offered it,” you bite back, but he doesn’t seem pleased. If he was taking his offer back, you felt like he should just say so, but instead he was smiling as he lit a cigarette.

“That I did,” he was so cocky, it reminded you of Juyeon, “I guess I could give it a try.”

“You said you would.”

“I said I can do it if you’d like me to try.”

“And I’m telling you to.”

“But you should be asking me.”

“Changmin, you think I haven’t been through enough embarrassing shit because of you? You owe me this fucking favour before I break your neck with my heel.”

He stops entirely, eyeing you up and down briefly before he finally settles on your eyes again. It’s a little intimidating to have him stare at you so intently, but you refuse to show discomfort and stand your ground. He fucking owed you this and you knew that he did. He did owe it to you, at the very least for the rumour involving you and Juyeon.

“Okay, sure. But I’m driving.”

He discards his cigarette and holds out his hand for the key, and you really think he’s joking before he gives you another look telling you to hurry up.

“Are you serious?”

“Think of it as payment,” it’s crazy to you but you ultimately agree. Curse you for not using your driver for one day, but why should you when you weren’t even planning to attend classes. It just left another witness to tell your parents that you had been faltering in the one thing they expected you to do well on.

“I hate you,” his hands hold the key to your Mercedes and he seems content, and you watch as he steps up inside your car so carelessly that it makes you nearly cry out to tell him off.

When you get in, he leans over and places his bag down by your feet and you note that same cologne that had sat on his hoodie that you took so long ago. A creature of habit, whereas you went through various perfumes depending on the type of outfit you were wearing.

“Can you be more careful? The interior is custom.”

“Of course it is,” he adjusts the seat and you realise what a bad idea this really was because everything he changes now, you’ll have to change back, but it was too late. He settled and reversed the car far faster than you would’ve liked, barely looking in his rearview mirror to see if he’d hit someone.

“Do you even know how to drive?”

“It’s an automatic. Even an idiot can drive one. Exhibit A,” he looks at you and you ignore it by looking ahead before he abruptly hits the breaks because someone crosses the parking lot completely unexpectedly, “god, some people just want to die.”

“Do you even have a licence?”

The silence confirms your expected fear and you cannot believe you just put your life in his hands. You wish you could hit the brakes, but he’s turned into the main road and now you’re wondering if you’ve well and truly lost your mind. You can practically hear Chanhee’s voice berating you for the insanity that you’re currently in.

“Where am I going, by the way?”

“I guess my house,” he sighs, and your hand instinctively falls to the wheel to pull him more to the right to avoid the left lane.

“Yeah, and where is that?”

“Oh, right. I’ll write it in the nav,” he scoffs like it’s absurd, but you’re not really in the mood to give instructions and honestly you didn’t think you’d be very good at it. You knew the way well and your mind would naturally think where to turn without saying it outloud.

“You’re driving too fast,” at this point you’d fully accepted your potential demise, because making him pull over seemed like an almost worse idea at this point.

“I thought it was sixty.”

“It’s fifty,” you answer him, and at least he listens and slows down, maybe because being caught meant you’d both be in horrific trouble.

There’s no music and the silence in such close proximity isn’t exactly your idea of fun, but it’s becoming a little more familiar than you’d like to be like this with Changmin. It wasn’t that you liked him or enjoyed his company, but the way you both sat together without speaking had become a little common, at least enough that you found it to be okay.

“This cannot be real,” he mumbles, the gates to your community closed before you hand him the keycard. He looks at it like it’s alien, but he opens the window and reaches for the keypad to open the gate, “I actually hate rich people.”

He doesn’t sound genuine, more baffled if anything as he drives in and over to your house. His eyes just widen more as he parks outside the front steps leading to the massive entrance door, but you’re more relieved that you survived driving as a passenger with someone that had no right to even take you anywhere with a car, “I was gonna say park in the garage but I suppose you can leave it.”

“I think I’m good, yeah.”

You step out with him, taking the key back as soon as he lets it dangle between his fingers for you to take, and you walk in with him and greet one of your cleaners that seems more than a little surprised to see you with someone. Normally you might make an attempt to hide who you were with, but she was nice and didn’t speak often, especially to your parents unless it was work related, so you knew her to not be the type to say something.

You really hoped, anyway, or you were definitely fucked.

“Do you have scissors for cutting hair?”

“I think we do somewhere. I’ll ask someone,” though Changmin doesn’t seem to be listening, because his eyes are cast elsewhere and you notice your little ragdoll perched on the railing and looking at him with curious eyes.

“Oh, look at this little cutie,” he approaches her carefully, holding his hand out gently but she seems more than a little excited, which you find unusual, though maybe she sensed his compliment to stroke her little ego.

“Thought you didn’t like cats?”

“How can I not when I see this little dear, hmm?”

She purrs in response, pushing her head up into his palm as he scratches her ear, and you nearly roll your eyes at seeing her unusual affection. She liked Chanhee, sure, but even that had taken some time, but with Changmin she’s practically on his lap within the first minute.

“Do you have any treats for her?”

“Sure, they’re in my room. Or the kitchen.”

He follows after you, the little lady prancing after him like she’s straight out of the aristocats, elegant in how she moves and so confident in her step. Lady really is a diva.

“They’re on the desk,” you gesture over to the corner and Changmin moves over to find them, but he’s slow and looking around like he’s taking it all in. It leaves you a little vulnerable, only because the way you’ve decorated is a look inside who you are, feminine and expensive, with simple colours and beautiful plants and endless books that are overflowing on your shelf.

“I didn’t know you read.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know you’re a pain in my ass. Here you go, darling,” he crouches down, holding out a treat for your cat while you open a window. She seems pleased, tapping his hand for more with her little paw and even you admit it’s a cute display of affection from her.

“I’ll look for the scissors.”

Changmin doesn’t answer, busy being loved by a cat and so you leave them both while on the hunt for some scissors. In the end, you ask one of the cleaners if he’d seen any around while finishing up your parents’ bathroom and to your surprise the search is successful when you go through one of the drawers.

You pass the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, one for Changmin too because you hadn’t asked and you were not prepared to walk back downstairs again in case he wanted some. That, and you brought a packet of gummy bears, not for you but him, and then came back upstairs to see Changmin still on the floor waving a string with a little tiger on the end that Lady was chasing relentlessly.

“I found them,” he looks up at you and she takes the opportunity to pounce on the toy, dragging it between her claws as he tries to push against her, “I also have water.”

“Voss?”

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t that overpriced tap water?”

“Tap water tastes like blood. This is citrusy,” you hold it out to him, and he takes it despite his apprehension.

“Put a lemon in it,” he says, before adding, “and why do you know what blood tastes like?”

“Why do you not?”

He gets up while you rummage around your room, moving your chair right in front of your mirror to give you a view of what he’s doing, “I might need wine, on second thought.”

“I’m not going to ruin your hair any more than it already is,” at least he acknowledges the horrific state it was in, but you knew that, “did the hairdresser cut it that weirdly?”

“I didn’t let her finish. Look at this,” you show him one of the butchered strands and even Changmin looks more than a little shocked that a professional had done such a horrific job.

“I’ll have to cut quite a lot. You realise that, right?”

You did. Of course you knew your once beautiful long hair would be no longer than right by your shoulder and that fucking shattered your heart and confidence, but you could not keep it like this either and magically having longer hair again wasn’t happening without a wig or extensions.

“I won’t cut before you tell me it’s fine but a lot of it is still burnt up to about… here,” he gestures to your collarbone, though he’s careful not to touch you. Maybe he knows you won’t like it and he’s right, you wouldn’t like it, but you were surprised by his way of keeping boundaries.

“If you manage to do this well I’ll buy your groceries for a week,” Changmin perks up, like he hadn’t expected it but they were words he was happy to hear. Almost like he needed it.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” and now your mind wandered again, because he’d insisted he had at least some money and yet he made it sound like he was struggling just to buy some food. Though you try not to dwell on it as you grab your hairbrush to gently get the knots out of your hair.

“I really don’t want you to cut more than you need to.”

“I already told you I won't,” he’s getting frustrated, you can tell, but you want to make sure he gets it. If he didn’t listen to you, it would be so much worse and you’d be absolutely destroyed, and Changmin likely wouldn’t care because it didn’t affect him.

“Okay, so I have a plan,” he says, and even those words cause you worry but you’re willing to hear him out before you both commit, “I’ll just cut all the long hair that’s left up until slightly above your chest and then I’ll actually be neater and more precise with what’s left to work with that’ll get rid of all the burnt hair.”

Not a terrible plan, actually. It’s not like he’d have to be neat cutting up to a certain point if it wasn’t going to stay. It would be a waste of both your time if he did it that way, “okay, we’ll try that.”

“Do you want any music?” Changmin asks you, your cat jumping up onto the bed to perch herself on the edge and watch the way you both move and speak. You wonder if she can tell you both dislike each other, or if she thinks maybe that’s a friend. It makes you curious to know how cats think, but that was a whole other thought process that you were honestly too sober to consider really having.

“I can turn some on,” you connect your phone to your speakers, pressing the shuffle button and leaving it on one of the coffee tables you had next to the mirror full of perfumes and some accessories.

You take a seat and place a towel that you’d gotten around your back and a little towards the front of your body, adjusting your back so it’s straight as Changmin stands behind you. You watch him in the mirror, the way he studies your hair and seems to be contemplating on how to best approach it. It makes you nervous, and once again you’re wondering when you became this insane.

“Okay, I’ll just start cutting.”

“Okay.”

You both fall silent, though you’re left still staring at him in the way you both reflect before you amongst a few polaroids stuck on your mirror. Your heart picks up when you feel his fingers brush the back of your neck as he takes some of your hair between his fingers, but you push it away and try to focus on something else. Anything else.

The first strands of hair fall and you feel like crying. You see the way they end up on the floor, how they lay there and you feel terrible. It feels like you’re ripping away a big piece of yourself and you didn’t wish for it to ever happen.

“I can’t believe Eric did this to me.”

“Wasn’t it an accident?”

“I don’t care,” you snarl, crossing your arms and watching him cut away more and more pieces. For a second you wonder if he’s cut too much but he seems to know how to read your mind because he brings what’s left of it to the front of your body so that you can see its length, most of it the promised length he’d agreed on with you aside from the bit of hair that was already ruined or made shorter before he ever got to it.

“If it helps, I think short hair might suit you,” might. Not that it would, that it might, and that really doesn’t sit well with you, because what if it doesn’t?

“Short hair isn’t pretty on women,” you tell him, but he looks entirely perplexed at your statement, as if he finds it to be absurd.

“According to who? You?”

“Everyone,” a lot of men, mostly, and some women. Juyeon didn’t like it either, you knew that. He’d told you once when one of your female acquaintances had cut her hair and he looked at her like she’d grown two heads.

“I think some women look better with short hair,” he tells you but you don’t really buy it. Then again, you don’t really know Changmin’s type, and once again you’re reminded of his date. Maybe you could ask now, right?

“Did your date have short hair?”

Subtle. You could laugh at yourself, laugh at how pathetic you’d become and how Changmin was often the reason for your downfall. Of course he was, and you cursed yourself for ever agreeing to kick him out of that forsaken party months ago.

“She did not, no. Unless you consider a little over the shoulder short.”

“I do,” he sighs again and maybe you want to smile because honestly, it is a little funny at this point, how quick he is to be annoyed and how quick you are to be the same, “did it go well?”

“Do you really want to know about my dating life?”

“I’m just trying to make conversation,” you lie, because honestly you were really curious to know. You wanted to know what she looked like, if she was beautiful, more so than you.

“It was fine. Didn’t really have much chemistry,” he tells you, adjusting his glasses briefly as he dusts off some of your cut hair from your back.

“You mean like sexually?”

“What? No. I mean in general. Chemistry isn’t just sex,” to you, it was most of it. At least you believed it to be. Good chemistry came from desire and lust, which is why you and Juyeon had worked so great when you were in love. You wanted to answer, maybe even defend yourself where he didn’t know you had to, but instead you kept your mouth shut, “I’m going to cut more now.”

“A lot?”

“I think if I play my cards right, it’ll just about be touching your shoulder,” he answers you and you agree, sighing as you adjust the way you sit again and watch him in the mirror.

You watched the way he concentrated, how he bit his lower lip and occasionally adjusted his glasses if he leaned forward too much. He seemed so intent on doing well that it calmed you just a little. At least he would try, you assumed, and all you’d have to do in return was get his groceries.

You were both silent for a long time, simply watching his hands move between strands of hair, trying not to tug too much or break off more hair with what was burnt. The music wasn’t overbearingly loud, and your cat was soft asleep now, sprawled out comfortably in your duvet. It was all very peaceful, strangely so.

You came to realise even more in such silence that Changmin really was just so pretty.

“You’re staring at me,” he tells you, not once making eye contact with you and yet he’d caught you.

“What am I meant to look at?”

“I was only telling you.”

“Does it bother you?”

He stops, meeting your eyes in the mirror and suddenly you look away, “no, I don’t really care.”

You both fall silent again and you watch as he fixes the broken ends and frowns when it doesn’t seem to be going how he wants it to. Seeing him concentrate is a little amusing, because his nose occasionally scrunches and he lets out a little breath of air in annoyance when it just doesn’t work.

“Did you ruin it?”

“Do you really want the truth?”

“Changmin, what the fuck did you do?”

He laughs, and it sounds so happy and amused you turn around and hit his arm, making him jump back and hunch over even more to clutch his stomach while he chuckles. You want to know what the hell is so funny when he’s potentially done worse to you, but he doesn’t say a single word.

“Changmin!”

“It’s nothing. I just find your lack of faith in me hilarious,” your arms cross and some of your hair falls to your face, but to your surprise it seems shockingly neat.

“I was just going to say that I was right. Short hair suits you,” you heart lurches forward again and you’re stunned on what to say. It’s clear to you that it’s a compliment and maybe an attempt at making you feel far better, but all it manages to do at first is make you feel more vulnerable. He’s the first to see you like this and he’s not turning away from it or insulting you the way you would’ve insulted yourself. He’s kinder to yourself at this moment than you would ever be, and it doesn’t even feel forced.

You don’t know what to say.

“You don’t need to say that. We’re not friends,” he looks exasperated, like he’s near given up on ever being kind to you and you hope he truly stops trying. You don’t want to be friends, and while you’ll admit he’s not been as bad as you might’ve initially presumed, you would never want to speak of this after.

“I think it’s nearly done.”

“Are you sure?” Changmin looks at you through the mirror, his eyes finding yours so quickly it makes you stop and stare back at him with strange interest.

“Mhmm, where’s your hairbrush?” you hand it to him and he thanks you, brushing through the strands with a gentle touch you’ve never even given yourself. He’s so careful, like he truly doesn’t want to hurt you, and you’re not really sure when that became important to you but it makes you smile, “I think I should change majors.”

You know he’s teasing though his confidence leaves you curious. From what you can see, it isn’t terrible, but you have yet to see the full result and it’s scary to realise that your hair no longer reaches very far. You’re not even sure how the hell you’re going to style it when you have to have it up, or want to. In the end, maybe you would need extensions.

“Do you have any hair oil?”

“I can’t believe you know what that is,” you get up, intentionally ignoring the mirror to stare back as you move to your bathroom, rummaging through one of the drawers before you find the serum you’re looking for, bringing it over to him, “here.”

He nods, standing in front of you and you don’t make an attempt to move. You let him reach for your hair behind your ear, bringing it forward between his delicate fingers with the oil you’d brought him, bringing it to your short ends and you simply let him. He’s never been this close to you, you don’t think, but it surprises you how it doesn’t make you grimace and want to turn away. Changmin’s in your space, but he isn’t invasive with it either, so very careful with his movements like he’s wondering when you’ll actually shrink away.

“Done,” okay, fuck, now you’d have to look. It would either make you want to curl in on yourself or you’d be content to deal with it, even if you hated the short hair either way. You were already prepared to not like it, but you turn around and it hits you again.

“I hate it,” Changmin’s face briefly falls, maybe with worry or just genuine upset because it sounds like an insult towards him. It’s the very first time where your heart sinks because you feel bad for making him believe he’d done something horrific when he’d helped you. He looks so genuinely pained, almost like he’s afraid that you’ll turn violent for what he’d done, and how truly sorry he looks makes you feel awful.

“I’m sorry,” you shake your head, turning back to him so you can avoid the mirror, and you make an effort to look into his dark brown eyes framed by his glasses, the softness in them not going unnoticed by you. The way he looks like he’s ready to walk out with a knife in his back.

“No, I just… I hate having my hair short,” you attempt, awkwardly reaching for his arm in an attempt to make it better, but it’s awkward for you both and so you remove your touch and look back at him instead, “I think you did great, Changmin.”

“You can be honest.”

“I am. I think it’s really neat,” which was true. He’d cut it precise and straight just along your shoulder and nothing seemed out of place. It was hard to believe he’d never done this before.

“I should get going,” there’s a voice in the back of your mind offering him to stay a little longer, but your mother could be home at any point and you knew very well that she wouldn’t like Changmin at all, even if he’d done you a favour.

“Wait…” he stops, his jacket just pulled over one of his sleeves as he looks at you, “what about your groceries?”

“Forget it, it’s fine,” he’s upset. Something is on his mind and you want to know what it is. You don’t really believe him to be the type to be so hung up on one of your insults. He’d never been before, and some had been far worse than this, and yet he’d never been so quiet towards you.

“No, I think I should,” you reach for your purse and while you can tell he wants to leave, he doesn’t walk out. He waits for you to gather your things and then stares at you.

“I really don’t need your charity.”

“It’s not charity. You cut my hair,” he looks like he wants to agree with you. Like he knows that he did and yet he doesn’t really want to acknowledge it.

“Fine.”

It was already late in the evening when you got to the store, not realising how time had slipped away from you both while you were at home. You’d thought Changmin had been quick, but reality had been different and time had simply flown away from you.

“This place is expensive.”

“Is it?” you shrug, never having thought of it as you step out of the car, waiting for him to follow suit though he hesitates for far longer before he finally comes out of the car, approaching you with apprehension, “does it matter? You’re not paying for it.”

Changmin huffs, nails digging into his knuckles while he stares ahead at the store in front of you. You weren’t ready to admit to him that you hadn’t done groceries in years because it was always done for you, and you were not going to admit that the corner store when you were missing some snacks was as far as shopping for food went for you.

“I don’t need you to spend money on me.”

“I doubt I’ll notice it’s gone,” he scoffs, clearly unimpressed as he walks with you. You don’t like it, because it feels like he’s looking down at you again, like you’re lesser than him when that has never been the case. You don’t understand the issue or why it should even concern him if you’re spending your allowance on him, but for some reason it does.

“You realise the problem with that, right?”

“What problem?”

His kind eyes are gone, replaced with the ones you know far better. The eyes that judge you, that see you as frustrating and annoying, the ones that hate you and think you’re unimportant. You hate that gaze, the way he looks at you, and yet it doesn’t go away, nor does it fade in intensity, even while you watch him grab a shopping cart and step inside because you simply refuse to do it yourself.

“What would you like?”

“I haven’t really thought about it,” he starts, clearly in thought before he adds, “I need cat food.”

It catches you off guard. Changmin feels selfless, in that regard. How his first thought for what he needs isn’t for him at all but rather his pet. It makes you look at him differently, even just for a moment.

“That’s at the back.”

He follows you, completely silent and now it feels awkward again. It’s almost amazing how quickly you both revert back to this.

“What does he eat?”

“He likes tuna,” he reaches for something, a packaged box of cat food with an assortment of different flavours and you grimace.

“Is that good for him?”

“It’s all I can afford,” he snaps back, putting it in the cart but you don’t seem pleased. If he had a cat, he should at least put in the effort to feed him well. You’d never understand pet owners who practically fed Mcdonald’s to them in jelly form.

“I’m paying for it.”

“And I’m not changing his diet for a week or two just because it’s not on my dime,” well, you lost that argument, albeit begrudgingly because you didn’t agree with it.

“Can I at least choose some treats for him?”

“Do whatever you want, princess,” you freeze up, briefly reminded of Juyeon and his voice and the way he calls you princess. How that’s his thing to do, not Changmin’s, nor anyone else’s. You didn’t want anyone else to call you that, yet you were so frozen in place by surprise that you couldn’t tell him to stop. Instead, you fall silent and pick something out for him that you hope he’ll like, placing it in the cart before you follow Changmin to another aisle.

You don’t speak to him for a while, and it’s so awkward to watch him find random things, and even worse when he finds something only to put it back because the price makes him do a double take. And each time you make an attempt to offer to get it anyway or tell him it really doesn’t make a difference to you, he gives you a look of such discontent, like he wants you to keep your mouth shut and it surprises even you that you do.

You were stubborn and weren’t one to back down, and yet you would find it so embarrassing if an argument ensued between you both in public. It was bad enough that you were both together with the potential risk of someone you knew seeing it, but even worse if you brought on that attention through your disagreements when you could’ve avoided it.

“I think I’m done,” you look down at all the items and frown, wondering how the hell that’s meant to last a week. It makes you think again, if he really could make this last for a while or maybe he just really didn’t want to live off your dime and you’re not so sure what bothered you more.

“Do you not eat?”

“Coming from you?”

Another insult and it leaves you angry, but you also wonder if he’d noticed. If he had, you wondered how. If he was simply attentive or watching you constantly when you weren’t looking like some creep, “I eat.”

“I’d hope so,” you want this evening to be over. It would be nice to go home and curl up in your bed, to maybe call Chanhee and hear your best friend’s voice, to maybe text Juyeon to get a goodnight that was kind and sweet, to maybe ask Hyunjae if he was planning a party any time soon so that you’d have something new to look forward to and redeem yourself and your reputation.

“There’s nothing else you want?”

“Nope,” you look down at all he’d chosen again and it just doesn’t sit right with you, but you don’t say anything else. It’s none of your business, how he chooses to consume his meals or what his motive or intentions are in not taking advantage of you buying everything for him, but it feels like an insult to you and your money that he’s not using it properly.

It also bothers you, how he’d seemed enthused earlier at the prospect of you getting groceries for him, how he’d even laughed while doing your hair and how when he'd smiled it even reached his eyes, only to stand here with him now and see the way his eyes seem lifeless, how his smile has faded and he seems so miserable and over being around you.

“Fine,” is your answer, cold just like him as you both go to the check out, paying for all his things whilst he packs them up. You’re both so silent, the woman scanning all his items gives you both a look, as if she knows you’re both fighting and can feel the tension between you both.

You don’t end up spending much at all, far less than you’d expected, and yet when you try to pay, Changmin steps up to you, “I’ll just get it.”

“No, I want to get it,” you push him away from you, but he surprises you in his strength and resistance, barely moving an inch while you try to tap your watch against the card machine.

“I don’t want you to.”

“I said I would!” you snap and he finally stops fighting you, maybe in his shock because you’ve raised your voice publicly, but you manage to pay and the woman gives him a sympathetic look with kind eyes as if to tell him she’s sorry for your behaviour.

It’s silent as you both go to the car but you can feel his anger radiate off him. You already know he might snap, the question is what his anger will look like. You’re not afraid of it or Changmin, because while you don’t know him well, you don’t believe he’d hurt you in frustration. But you do wonder what he’ll say, if anything at all.

You try to ignore him by drowning it all out with music, occasionally glancing over at him though he’s on his phone not paying attention to you. It was like having a random strange man in your car, one that wouldn’t take any time to get to know who he was even with, but you supposed that was better than the alternative.

“I don’t know your address,” you tell him eventually, realising you were just heading back to your place when you should very likely be going a whole other direction.

“Drop me anywhere. I’ll take the bus.”

“I’m already driving,” he sighs, but he doesn’t fight you either, reaching over to the touch screen in the centre of your car to find the navigational system so that he can type in his address. You knew the area by name, though you’d never done more than pass it by. When you were younger, your parents had insisted on avoiding places such as the one you were now going to, for it was full of criminal activity and rather dangerous at night. At least so they said.

“Thank you for helping me,” it takes a lot for you to say it, so you hope at the very least he’ll realise how difficult it is for you and to appreciate that you managed to say it anyway. He doesn’t react at first, looking outside into the dark, up at the city lights and the way everything reflects, but eventually he pays attention to you again when the trees get boring and a droplet of rain falls onto the window.

“It’s nothing.”

“Yeah but… you didn’t laugh at me.”

“There was nothing to laugh at,” he made things difficult. It was hard to speak to him, sometimes moreso, because he just seemed so indifferent when you didn’t want him to be. You also knew him to be different, just sometimes, because you’d had little glimpses of it, and you wondered where they went when he stopped smiling.

“Juyeon would’ve found it hilarious.”

“I’m not Juyeon,” he interrupts angrily, this time turning his head to look at you properly and it distracts you. You were near certain though you’d gotten no real confirmation that they didn’t like each other at all, and yet his instant protest made it far more evident than you’d presumed it to be.

“You make him sound like a bad person.”

“If he would’ve laughed at you, then isn’t he?”

No. You want to say no. Juyeon was flawed but not bad. He was always so kind to you, until the moments in which he wasn’t but you knew how to ignore those for the good things you got. But then you wondered why you’d broken up at all if he was what you wanted. It was hurting your head to think about it, to think about Juyeon was always so complicated and painful, yet here you were again wondering if you could ever have him back.

“He’s not that bad.”

“Right,” you’re not sure why you wanted him to fight with you. To tell you you’re wrong, that Juyeon was fucking terrible and destroyed every little bit of confidence within you so that he could mold it back together into the perceived beauty that he wanted. Until you were created to be only his.

You’re not sure why you want Changmin to say it, because you know you’ll resist him anyway.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t, really. I just don’t get it. I’ll never understand wanting to be hurt by someone you think should love you,” you fall silent first. You want to defend Juyeon but you’re not sure how to do it without sounding pathetic.

“He does love me,” Changmin doesn’t say anything else. He rolls down your car window and lights a cigarette without even asking if he can though you say nothing about it. Maybe you might normally, but you stop yourself this time because your thoughts are muddled and you’re not sure you can even really think.

“It’s just here,” he breaks you out of your thoughts and you park just a bit down the road where there’s space, watching him get out of the car but you stay put at first. You feel a little numb, frozen even, though when he opens the trunk of the car, you finally snap out of it and follow after him.

“You don’t need to help me,” you don’t listen to him, grabbing one of the bags before shutting the back of your car and looking at him expectantly, “you’re not coming inside.”

“Fine.”

You’re a little disappointed. Mostly because your curiosity has grown and you really want to meet his stray cat, but Changmin seems determined to keep you away from the little furball, “next time then.”

He seems as surprised as you by your words, although deep down you think you both know they’re not meant. You likely won’t ever be here again, and so the final steps to the front door of the apartment complex is all you’ll ever get a glimpse of into his life. You wonder how he lives, what it looks like, if it’s neat or cluttered, dark or bright.

You wonder if his interior reveals his interests and hobbies, or if it’s monotone and hard to decipher. You realise you wonder so much in this moment, about Changmin and who he is, what he’s really like away from what you see. But maybe what’s inside is too vulnerable for him to reveal, that he keeps it to himself because it feels safer.

You wonder even if just for a moment, what it would be like to get to know him beyond you both standing here in the light rain.

“Well, thank you for the groceries,” you hold the last bag out to him for him to take and he does, leaving you to stand there with no real purpose other than to look at him.

“Yeah… of course,” you don’t know what you’re saying. You’ve forgotten how to formulate a sentence and it feels suffocating to stand here with him. You really want to leave, though not because you detest Changmin in the way you might sometimes believe, but rather because it feels so strange to just stand there with him, with no real purpose or gain out of it, “goodnight Changmin.”

He nods, reaching for his key rather awkwardly and you’d help if it didn’t mean reaching into the pocket of his jacket. You watch him struggle though he manages eventually, turning only briefly before he ultimately sighs, “I should walk you to the car.”

You want to ask why until you remember what your parents had said. Maybe they were right, that it really was unsafe and Changmin knew it too, “I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t care,” he puts his bags down in the hall right next to the door, letting it fall shut after him as he comes back down the steps to where you stand to begin the short journey back to your car. It’s so awkward between you both, so painfully silent and you think back to the woman at the grocery store again, the way she’d stared at you both.

“Well, I survived the walk to my car,” you think you see a faint smile on his face, but you don’t want to comment on it in case he notices and lets it fade away again, “goodnight Changmin. For real this time.”

Changmin smiles. He genuinely smiles and his dimples show on his cheeks enough to make you want to mirror a similar upturn of your lips. It’s contagious, and he stands there as you shut the door though let your window down just a little in case he wants to say anything else to you.

At first, you don’t think he’s going to. You think he’s going to let you leave but when you start the car, he leans his arms against the opened window and looks up at you again, carefully, as if his eyes are searching for something within your own and you wonder if your cheeks look as warm as they suddenly feel.

“Get home safe, little doll,” you want to answer but you’re left completely stunned by him. The wave of emotions you go through in his company can’t be quite good for you. It makes you feel vulnerable and a little confused and you can do nothing to help it. It’s simply there, every single feeling is right at the surface and you can’t hide it.

It makes you feel so exposed, enough that your words get caught in your throat and you have to simply drive away, seeing him in your rearview mirror, and you hope he gets inside and off the street if it really is as bad as you’d been told here.

You don’t mean to do it, but after a few minutes you turn around just to check that he’d gone inside, slowing down when you don’t see him anymore, nor do you see the groceries he’d placed down just inside when he’d chosen to walk you back to your car.

Which meant he was okay, and you could go home.

You’re at another one of Juyeon’s parties and you’ve had a little too much to drink. You don’t know what time it is, nor are you sure on where you’re even going. It’s disorienting for you to even walk, dizzying in hallways you’re familiar with and yet you can’t make out where you are. Eventually you give up and try to roll a cigarette, but you swear you’re seeing double and can’t even imagine the state you’re in.

Wondering if you look like a disaster, you try to see if you recognise anyone, though you’re alone aside from a couple making out not too far away from you. It bothers you a little, but you don’t want to bring their attention towards you and instead remain silently sat on the hardwood floor, beautifully dark and expensive. The music is still loud so you figure you must still be close to the main living room but you can’t be sure.

“Little princess, I’ve been trying to find you,” Juyeon’s worried voice breaks you out of whatever daze you’re in, looking up to see him stand there in his dress shirt that clings tight to his thin waist. He’s beautiful, of course, and you become aware of the state you must look like, now that something so gorgeous is in front of you.

What is happening to you?

“Am fine,” you mumble, wanting to close your eyes as much as you want to go outside to have a cigarette.

“You look awful,” you know. He doesn’t need to tell you, and yet when he does it stings deep and makes you wish he hadn’t said anything at all. You wish for just a moment that he’d lie to you and tell you otherwise, in a way that makes you think that the opposite might be true.

You want Juyeon to tell you that you’re pretty.

“I know,” he stares at you, silently first before he crouches down to your level. Your eyes meet and his are dark but pretty, a certain glazed spark that makes you want to kiss him, but you don’t.

“I can take you to my room,” you nod, holding your hand out to him so he can help you to your feet, and you stumble into his chest when gravity decides to not be in your favour, “when did you turn into such a drinker?”

You’re not sure, really, what had made you drink so excessively tonight, but Juyeon knew that you drank and could drink a lot so the question still takes you aback. Does he think you’ve gone off the rails?

“Am not…” though your lack of coordination and the fact that you feel increasingly ill from being intoxicated seems to suggest otherwise. Remembering how much you’ve had would be impossible to decipher so you wouldn’t even attempt it.

“Here… you should shower first.”

“Don’t wanna…” as if you’d trust yourself to even stand upright in the shower, but Juyeon seems just as persistent as you.

“I’m not letting you in my bed in this state,” you scoff, thinking it’s unbelievable that his first concern would be his silken bed sheets though simultaneously you know you’d be just the same. No way you’d ever let someone this drunk on your mattress with the chance that they’d be sick. You understood perfectly, and yet it still made you angry.

“Why’d you care so little about me?”

Juyeon doesn’t say anything first, leading you to the bathroom and you sit against the door, watching him move around without his attention ever going to you. It almost confirms the question, that he’s so indifferent and careless because you’re not worth even worrying about.

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Am I?”

You’re getting angry and it shows, pushing your body up with all the strength you can possibly find in your body, Juyeon catching you the moment you threaten to fall back to the floor. Even if he caught you, he seems to push your body away from him, like he doesn’t want you any closer and it kills something in you to have him act this way towards you when he’d been so sweet before.

“Why’re you doing this?”

“You should go home. I’ll get Chanhee,” normally, he would've let you stay. Juyeon would let you stay in his bed and the fact that he isn’t even offering it makes your heart sink deep, a heavy weighted feeling in your chest that’s just equally as hollow. Your heart is breaking and he doesn’t seem to care at all, nor does he seem to care for the consequences.

You stand completely alone, looking around the bathroom before you get a burst of energy that has you looking for any remnants of cocaine in any of his drawers. Juyeon hid it well, just in case the cleaners rummaged more than he’d requested, because he did not need anything to get back to his parents in regards to some of his more worrying behaviour. Unfortunately, you come up entirely empty and the door opens to you surrounded by a mess of his things.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Juyeon is so angry, you truly want to fear him with how he looks at you, but Chanhee and Hyunjae both stand there too, with Hyunjae even moving to block Juyeon’s body from you. You’re not sure why he does it, but to know he seems more concerned for you than the man you loved brought a new pain to your chest that really made you want to cry. He was so careless and it hurt.

“I’ll just take her home- don’t,” Chanhee glares at Juyeon when he makes an attempt to move towards you, and you’re grateful for your best friend when he helps you back up, albeit you have no way of really focusing in on him, your vision blurry and tired.

“Did she take anything?” Hyunjae. You think it’s Hyunjae, his voice soft and gentle, sounding entirely sober and you wonder if he’d had anything to drink at all. Usually he did, a bottle always famously in hand yet he seemed so okay now, you couldn’t imagine it.

“Don’t know,” cold. His voice sounds so cold and careless, it’s the only thing you can focus on. You can’t pay attention to Chanhee holding your body up or the fact that Hyunjae is right in front of you. You don’t even notice.

“It’s like she’s been drugged,” Chanhee. It’s Chanhee, and he sounds more angry than Juyeon, though for an entirely different reason. He’s concerned for you, but in a tone you’re not familiar with.

“Just get her out then.”

“She’s about to pass out, Juyeon.”

“I don’t care, Chanhee.”

Your vision is spotted and you start to think that maybe Hyunjae’s question has merit. You’d had plenty to drink but in your mind it hadn’t been enough to act like this. Yet you were so out of it, so unaware and so ready to sink back to the floor where your heart already lay in pieces.

“I’ll carry her. Let’s just go,” you can’t make out the voice anymore. You can barely make anything out as you feel yourself being lifted up onto someone’s back. He’s warm and strong, a cologne you recognise but not familiar enough with for it to belong to Chanhee. If it’s not your best friend and it isn’t Juyeon, it had to have been Hyunjae.

You hope it’s Hyunjae. He’s the one you’d trust the most after the two other men in the room with you.

You don’t remember falling asleep nor do you remember waking up, but there’s a sharp cold breeze and wind blowing through your short cut hair, earrings swaying with every step of the man who’s carrying you.

“Should we take her to the hospital?”

“I think she just needs to sleep,” you think that’s Hyunjae. You hope it is. He’s so comfortable to hold and so warm if that’s the case.

“I can’t believe Juyeon’s such an ass he can’t even let her crash in his bed.”

“I’m gonna talk to him about that,” the voice closest to you tells your best friend. At least you presume it to be. Eventually you let your eyes reopen, nuzzling deeper against Hyunjae’s shoulder once you confirm it really is him.

“You’re awake,” your best friend looks at you with a concerned gaze that has you wanting to turn away. You don’t like that look of pity and concern for your state. You’d much rather ignore the mess you are in favour of pretending it never happened.

“Hi pretty,” Hyunjae says, turning his head slightly to look back at you. You have to admit it’s incredibly nice to walk with them like this though you’re not sure why they didn’t just get your driver or one of their own, “we’re nearly at my place”

“Mhmm, why didn’t we uber?”

“Figured you could use the fresh air. It’s not much further,” Hyunjae answers, Chanhee walking in silence with you both.

“You’re really sweet Hyunjae,” you feel him laugh, the vibrations in his chest reaching you and it makes you smile against him. It’s nice, the way he laughs, the way it reaches deep in his chest and sounds so low and carefree.

“That I am, darling.”

You make it to Hyunjae’s place not long after and you’re not really sure what happens beyond that. You think you remember Chanhee asking if he could stay in the bathroom with you while you shower, just in case you fall or hurt yourself, and you do remember agreeing and even telling him to leave the door open in case Hyunjae had to come in to help.

After that, it becomes a little more muddled, though you do get a change of clothes from Hyunjae that swallow you whole because he’d already warned you ahead of time that it was too large for him too, and then you’re curled up in the centre of his bed with both your friends on either side of you.

You’re turned facing Chanhee, far less space between you and your best friend than you and Hyunjae, though Hyunjae had insisted on keeping a larger distance because he didn’t want you to feel weird about sharing a bed with him. He was right, it was a little weird at first to be in bed with him, but you got used to it quickly because you think he made a joke and you know you laughed and then you must’ve fallen asleep before they followed suit.

And suddenly you didn’t mind it at all.

You swear you’d been hungover for two days after that cursed party at Juyeon’s house. When you had first woken up in Hyunjae’s bed, you’d still felt drunk, and that drunk feeling turned into being hungover with a throbbing headache and the following day it still persisted. It had persisted but you needed to catch up on a lot of studying, having put it on the back burner long enough that soon your parents would notice and say something, or worse, take your allowance from you.

So you found yourself back at the library, overdressed to compensate and hide how absolutely shit you felt from the amount you’d had to drink, trying to find somewhere to sit. You decided to sit on a table far in the corner, away from everyone yet still within sight of the main area, opening your laptop up and grabbing one of your many notebooks and one of your textbooks.

You think an hour goes by when you briefly leave to grab a coffee from the cafe just down the street, coming back with a warm drink and another painkiller down your throat because the headache persisted and you had at least a few more hours to study before you could tell yourself it was enough.

It hadn’t even been a minute since you’d sat when a shadow of a person stood across from you, completely still first as if debating before he speaks, presumably towards you, “you don’t mind, right?”

You raise your head to see Changmin with a coffee from the same place you’d just been to, his hair wet from rain and his glasses a little slanted, his hoodie too large for his body and covering even his palms to imitate little paws.

“I guess it’s fine,” he sits diagonally to you, adjusting his glasses and you just stare as he gets his books and a notebook out, full of coloured little tabs and sticky notes. It was colourful, unexpectedly so, and very messy in a way. You wondered how he learned anything like that, but maybe he had a method.

“You got home okay last week?”

It’s a question directed towards you but it takes a minute for you to process it while you were in a daze, blinking out of it and focusing on him properly again, the way his hands rest under his chin, two of his fingers twisting one of his rings.

“Well, I’m here, right?”

He nods, having some of his coffee before he starts to write something. You think that’s all he’ll say, so you turn back to what you’re doing and try to focus on literally anything but him. He was such an easy distraction, and yet he did nothing to be that.

“Are you hungover?” Shit.

Were you really that obvious, or was Changmin just that good at guessing? You honestly couldn’t tell, and you weren’t sure what you favoured less.

“I look like shit, don’t I?” Changmin surprises you when he smiles, not in a way that tells you he agrees but in a way that tells you he’s amused. Like he genuinely finds it funny that that was your conclusion to his question.

“Is that what I said?” Well, no, you supposed not, but it surely felt like it first when he’d posed the question, “you just look a little out of it.”

You were. God, you were so fucking over everything and you couldn’t fully describe or explain what was happening to you. Something was, but you couldn't control it nor did you control your feelings or outcomes of the situations you put yourself in when you didn’t need to be in them.

“I am, yeah,” he opens the lid of his coffee, as if trying to reach the foam that normally clings to the lid of the cup like glue. You stare at him again like a bad habit, only realising after a while that neither of you are attempting to argue with the other and maybe you don’t detest him so much.

Just maybe.

“Juyeon’s, right? I heard about it,” you look away from him in favour of finding your coffee and having some of it before it gets too cold and bitter to taste. You’re not sure what to answer to that, not more than a nod because it feels weird to know that he wouldn’t even have been invited yet he knows that it happened and that you were there.

“Yeah,” it sounds weak and you try to clear your throat, coughing instead as a result and turning your eyes back to the words in front of you, the mathematical equations that make you want to die the longer you look at them and the scribbles you’re trying to decipher even though you were the one to put them there.

“You look confused.”

“I am confused,” you tell him, and he surprises you by getting up and coming over to you, hovering into your personal space before you can ask him what the hell he’s doing. He’s close but never too close, and you hope no one is watching you both or peering in to the fact that you’re being friendly. “I can solve it for you if you want,” now it’s your turn to be amused and laugh, because no way in hell is Changmin able to look at your notes with anything other than a giant question mark over his head, “What? You think I don’t know how to do mathematical analysis?”

“Honestly, no,” you confess, and he looks at you strangely before reaching over for one of his pens.

“I can do the first one. It’ll help you figure out the second question,” you’re not sure why you agree or why you let him so easily take control of your notebook, but he does and you don’t say anything first, watching the way he writes out the equation. His motions are so fluid, the way his fingers grip the pen with confidence in what he writes. There doesn’t seem to be a single mistake as he writes, like he knows exactly how to get the answer and it amazes you.

“I didn’t know you were smart,” you’d meant it as a genuine compliment and genuine amazement but it’s clear to you that it sounds quite backhanded, which you suppose mirrors your personality towards him more. He doesn’t flinch, ignoring you entirely before he pushes your notes back to you.

“There you go,” he gets up before you can even say thank you, and it’s the sudden absence of his presence beside you that makes you realise you didn’t mind him in your space at all. You feel like you should, that you did just recently, but his closeness to you had felt like a safe presence, not a familiarity yet and not foreign enough to make you alert to it.

It was just sort of there. He just sort of existed with you.

“Thank you,” you’ve never sounded so sincere with him before, not that you had ever wanted to be nor meant it, but even when he’d been kind enough to cut your hair and not fuck it up, even then you hadn’t thanked him the way you did now, even if you’d argue that that gesture was far more important to you than this.

“You really don’t need to thank me. I find it weird,” what a way to ruin it. You roll your eyes and turn back to your work instead, using his method of solving the equation to help you figure out the rest. His handwriting was a little sloppy but you could read it fairly well, though the few times you struggle you still refused to ask him to tell you outright what it meant.

“How’s your cat?”

“You don’t have to make conversation either,” he adds, but it doesn’t sound troubled or annoyed, rather a statement that you don’t have to put in effort where you don’t want to. And then you wonder why you’re putting in any effort at all so suddenly, “he’s fine. How’s yours?”

“She’s fine.” “That’s good,” he never once looks up at you and it’s starting to bother you. Are you that ugly, that he simply didn’t want to see you at all? Was there something about you that was so easy to detest that even someone like Changmin couldn’t find it in himself to be decent and meet your eyes?

It’s like he could sense your thoughts and your bitterness of his refusal to meet your eyes, because suddenly his deep brown ones were staring into your own and you found it almost overwhelming to meet his gaze. His eye contact lingered and he didn’t falter with it, and eventually the way he stared back at you became too intense and you had to look away.

“You’re terrible with eye contact,” you were, he was right. It wasn’t very comfortable for you, and the longer someone lingered on you, the worse it got unless you were angry and intimidating someone.

“It’s weird to stare at someone.”

“You stared at me first,” fuck, so he’d noticed it. Of course he had. You knew what it was like, to feel that stare of someone enough so that you tried to find where it was coming from. In this case, Changmin had felt it yet there hadn’t been enough people around to hide that it was you. He knew instantly, because it had been obvious.

“I daydream.”

“How cute,” it sounds sarcastic coming from his lips. You don’t think he genuinely finds you cute. Honestly, you’d take it as an insult if he did. Cute was for animals, not for a grown woman, and so you were glad to know that for once he was mocking you.

There’s no words said between either of you for a while. You finish your coffee and he finishes his, and after a while he gets up and grabs both empty cups once he’s sure there’s nothing left in yours, “where’re you going?”

“Bin,” he leaves you alone and you’re left staring at him dumbly, watching his figure disappear behind rows of books and shelves. But then he doesn’t come back, and a few minutes turn into a quarter of an hour and you want to start looking for him. His things were still with you, including his phone, and you wonder why or when he became so trusting of you. Surely you could take it all or worse, you could ruin it, and he just had faith that you apparently wouldn’t.

Eventually he reappears, but you only notice because another cup of coffee is suddenly right in front of your eyes, held by hands you recognise because of the jewellery adorned, and it’s only further confirmed when you look up again to see him standing there.

“You got me a coffee?”

“Why’re you so surprised?”

Many reasons. You don’t like each other very much. His money was tight, that you knew. Or just the fact that it was the last thing you naturally expected when he’d disappeared for so long.

“How do you know what I drink?”

“Guesswork. It’s skimmed milk, too.”

Even Juyeon messed that up. He’d mess it up nearly every time and you could always taste the difference, you swore it, and yet he’d lie and say he’d gotten it right just enough for you to want to believe that maybe you were wrong. Maybe it wasn’t him that screwed up.

Surely it was always you.

“I really don’t want to keep thanking you today.”

“Then just get the next one in a few hours,” you’re rendered a little speechless on the silent assumption that you’d both be here for most of the day, but you suppose he’s being fair and that it’s very likely you’ll be here for a while, still.

“I guess,” you mumble, bringing the coffee closer to you to warm your fingers. You hold it for a while, fingers laced together before you bring the liquid to your lips to drink. It tastes exactly like you would’ve wanted it to, and briefly it makes your mind wander on how he could’ve known it so well.

You’re back to sitting in complete silence and after a few hours go by like that, Changmin seems disinterested in his work and instead wanders off before returning with a book to read. It brings amusement to your lips, an upwards smile that you try to hide under your hand because you don’t want him to comment on it. Thankfully he doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he ignores it.

“Well… I suppose it’s my turn,” you mutter, reaching over for his empty cup before taking your own. He looks up at you with warm eyes, adjusting his glasses again and you start to think that it might be a habit given the repetition in which you see him do so.

“I’ll have a cappuccino.”

“Do you want it with the chocolate powder?”

“Yeah, just as it comes is fine,” you leave your things aside from your wallet and phone, as well as the two empty to-go cups and make your way out. It’s a strange feeling, running an errand of sorts you suppose for the both of you. And yet studying with Changmin across from you isn’t bad at all. Actually, you find it strangely peaceful, because he doesn’t bother you at all but his presence makes you feel less isolated.

You like that he doesn’t really make an attempt at a conversation where there isn’t one to be had.

“Here you go,” he mumbles something similar to a thank you, at least you think, his hand reaching out for you to place his coffee into. You do so, watching as he doesn’t once look up but his fingers dust over your own and it makes your heart jump to your throat because the feeling is foreign and strange but you want to welcome it.

You don’t like that you do, huffing in frustration at yourself and your stupid mess of emotions that have been scattered ever since that forsaken incident weeks ago. Maybe you’d have to consider therapy at this point, if the mess that was your mind persisted and the results were hangovers spread over multiple days and heart palpitations because someone simply touched you.

“Thanks,” you nod but he doesn’t seem to notice, so deeply caught up in his work that you think it might be something important, or at least incredibly interesting. He’d put the book he’d found earlier down and held his pen between his lips, fingers running through his now dry hair as he gripped the ends when he seemed frustrated.

Again, you were staring, but it was far too easy to do when he was right there and practically the only source of entertainment for your mind when your work was boring you to death.

“Struggling?”

“I suppose,” he draws out, pen no longer between his lips so he could answer you. You want to ask him what he’s doing, what exactly he’s even majoring in because you realise you have no idea. Then again, it had never interested you enough to ask and you’re not so sure if you ever will.

“Biochemistry,” he says outloud, presumably spoken to you. When you don’t answer, he looks up and stares right at you, “that’s what I’m studying.”

Wow, so he really was smart.

“Willingly?”

“Surprised?”

“Maybe,” the back and forth felt a little like flirting, and yet you knew it wasn’t that. It was a back and forth simply because the conversation never really went deeper. It was quick because there was nothing else to say.

It’s early in the evening when you decide that you've had enough. Changmin had left a few times for a cigarette, always rolling one at the table with you right there, making lazy conversation before he’d leave for a few minutes and then return. You debated asking if you could come with him just once before you remembered where you were and who you were with, so instead you sat and accepted the nicotine withdrawal.

“I think I’m done for the day,” he looks up at you briefly before he stretches his limbs, turning his shoulder either direction to warm his muscles and rid them of the tension from being mostly sat all day.

“That’s fair,” you start to pack up and there’s something in your mind wondering if you’d end up doing this again. You wouldn’t entirely mind it, as annoying as he is, when you simply sit with each other it’s rather nice and easy. It’s when the two of you start to speak to one another that problems arise. It’s when you realise again who he is that the calmness in your veins turns into something else.

“You’ll take a break at some point, right?”

“I plan to, doll,” his eyes meet yours again and you’re left staring, unsure what to make of that nickname anymore. It still bothers you and yet you perceive it as a compliment just the same, for if he calls you a doll, surely you’re delicate enough to be one?

“Don’t forget dinner,” he adds when you start to walk away from the table, and it brings you to a halt. Changmin doesn’t look up from his work, although you know that he’s aware that you’ve stopped, that you’re probably frustrated and that you want to tell him to go to hell when you let out a frustrated sigh. He has no right to tell you that, and yet the very fact that he’d brought it up at all with such casual nonchalance yet clear determined voice makes you think he might say it because he’s worried but doesn’t want to push a boundary further than he thinks he needs to.

He wants to remind you without pressuring you into a corner.

First you think of saying something, to maybe make a comment back but for the longest time you’re left standing there with nothing coming out of your lips. You simply can’t find anything to say.

“I’ll remember dinner when you forget to smoke,” he looks up from his textbook but you’ve already turned away from him, disappearing behind the shelfs and he’s left staring after you, a little lost before a faint smile falls back to his lips and his dimples become prominent despite just the faintness in which his lips curve.

You’d never know that he didn’t smoke for the rest of the night, but you did have dinner before you curled up in your bed with a book and your cat sat lazily beside you.

Changmin was starting to interest you. Not because you liked him but rather because he left you curious and a little stunned because of how strange he was. You were also wondering how or why he always managed to read you so well, it was all guess work and yet it was simply always correct just the same and you had no idea how he did it. Aside from the thought that he might be stalking you but you were always more than certain that he’d claim to have better things to do than follow you.

You hadn’t studied with Changmin since the hours spent in the library together but you had used the few notes and solutions he gave you the next few days as you revised. It was incredibly helpful, annoyingly so and you were beginning to feel a little dumb because why couldn't you have just written this out yourself? It wasn’t difficult now that you saw the answer.

Sunday night comes around and you’re lazily hanging around in bed listening to the rain outside. You’re so bored, but there was no party to attend and nothing else to really do. Chanhee said he was too busy and you weren’t going to ask Hyunjae, even though you had his number. You considered it truly, but ultimately didn’t want to give him the wrong idea of you nor were you sure how that would look if Juyeon found out.

Juyeon. A thorn in your side that pinched and twisted. He wouldn’t go away and you were conflicted on whether or not you wanted him to. You cared for Juyeon deeply and yet he seemed to prove the opposite in return, that you were worth the minimum if nothing at all. The final bit of evidence wasn’t even too long ago, when he left Hyunjae and Chanhee to carry you home instead of simply letting you stay in his bed to recover.

It was starting to feel, just a little, like Changmin might be right. Maybe the bad did outweigh the good though you weren’t ready to face the consequences of that being true. You weren’t ready for any of it. You didn’t want it to be true, because if it was you would have to grieve something only you seemed to love and you really didn’t want to be faced with that reality.

The doorbell rings and it breaks you away. It takes you a minute to realise that you’ll have to be the one to answer, as your parents are out and none of the staff remained given the late hour. You wondered why your parents still didn’t invest their money on a live-in butler, but they insisted he would attempt to steal with all the extra time given to him in which he simply stayed here.

When you come downstairs you’re already a little annoyed. The ringing persisted and whoever it was was incredibly impatient with you getting there, so you’re already ready to yell at whoever it is but when you finally meet the gaze of who it is, you stop in your step and stare.

Juyeon.

act iii

this chapter was meant to be longer but tumblr said no so I apologise for the cliffhanger it's not my fault and also apologise that this won't be three acts only pfff

taglist: @sanaxo-o @mosviqu @sunramzi @tbzhubrecs @caratsmatic @synnocence

again, let me know if you wanna be on the taglist 💜 comments are always appreciated

series masterlist || tbz masterlist

©️strayed-quokka, please do not steal, translate, reuse or rewrite as your own

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weareapackofstrays · 9 months ago

Text

Come Light Me Up // Ji Changmin

Genre: Non-Idol college au, classmates to lovers?

Pairing: Changmin (Q) x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Masturbation. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: 3,305

A/n: Loosely inspired by a dream I had last night. Wrote this one quickly so there will probably be some mistakes. Graphics by @saradika-graphics!

It was the start of a new semester. While the first day of classes made some students nervous, you looked forward to it. Everything smelled like fresh books, paper, and ink. There were only two more semesters left until graduation and you couldn’t contain your excitement. A few of your classes this semester were completely online, which was convenient for you since you had to take on a few extra shifts to pay for this year's books and labs.

After clicking the zoom link to start your first class of the day, you scan over the 20 or so faces blinking back at you for anyone familiar. While you recognize a few students from previous classes, one unfamiliar face grabs your attention most. Your eyes fall on a man who you had not seen before. He is dressed in a simple black t-shirt and grey sweats. You notice he is sitting on his bed as if he just woke up and his ruffled dark hair definitely looks suspiciously like bedhead. He was too casual and it irked you. While you weren’t a perfectionist, you still felt like how you presented yourself on the first day of class set a precedent for the rest of the semester. You force your attention away from him to focus on your Professor’s greetings.

As class progressed you kept catching yourself staring at the student who you learned was named Changmin. He seemed so uninterested in class and it looked like something was distracting him off camera. It annoyed you and you weren’t sure why. Did you find him attractive? Of course. Changmin was very good looking, but he gave off douchey vibes so you did your best to pay him no mind. A task that would prove difficult.

The days pass by and you still find yourself totally bothered by this guy. Your eyes kept finding Changmin on the screen every time you attended class. And to make things worse, even though he never seemed like he was listening to the lecture, he still got every answer correct when the professor asked. It was starting to piss you off. I’m sure if anyone was watching you they could visibly see your annoyance and unbeknownst to you, someone was watching. Sometimes you would catch Changmin’s eyes staring right into the camera and you could swear they were looking back at you. But there was no way…right?

If there was anything he was paying attention to, it was you. Changmin noticed you on the first day of class too and every time you popped up on the screen he would look you over. He found it amusing the way you would be dressed up, make up done, even for a Zoom class. Like today for example, your hair was in a half updo, clipped back with a large pink bow. You were wearing what he assumed was either a blouse or dress with puffy white sleeves that only annoyingly teased your cleavage. He couldn’t tell if you had lipstick on, but your lips looked particularly glossy…and delicious. Changmin could tell you were the type to be a teacher’s pet and the idea of corrupting you started to quickly creep into his mind. He watched every facial expression of yours, noticing how excited you would get when you knew the answer to something and the way you’d grow agitated every time he beat you to the answer. Your perfect facade faltering before him. He especially loved the way your lips would pout when you were trying to concentrate. It drove him crazy. He could no longer hold back so he decided to take a chance.

During the third week of class, your Professor announced that there would be a test coming up this Friday. You tried to remain calm, but the thought of a test so soon gave you anxiety. A ding from your zoom chat pops up interrupting your thoughts. It’s a private message from a classmate. You squint at your screen to see who the message is from. Surely, you must be misreading. It was from Changmin?!

Changmin: hey, wanna study together?

You have not actually interacted with Changmin before, in fact, you're not even sure you have ever exchanged words. The extent of your interactions was usually him saying something that bothered you and you rolling your eyes at him several times throughout the class. You continue to stare at his message. Hesitating for a few more moments, you finally start to type. Changmin watches you intently, anticipating your reply.

Y/n: Why do you want to study with me?

Changmin smiles while reading your message.

Changmin: because we’re probably the only two in this class who actually give a shit

You snort, forgetting your audio is on and quickly rush to mute yourself. Changmin watches your cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and laughs. Even though the conversation is private, you still look around at the other classmates nervously wondering if they know what’s going on.

Changmin: you’re cute

You bite your lip to hold back a smile not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Changmin watches you roll your eyes at him, as you usually do, and it ignites his hunger further.

Y/n: Fine. Changmin: i’ll zoom you tomorrow night? Y/n: Sure, 8pm tomorrow then. Just ping me. Changmin: 8 is kind of late, no?

You glare at him briefly before responding.

Y/n: I get off work at 7:00 so I will need some time to get back and change. Changmin: sounds good. I’ll call you at 8pm sharp. Can’t wait!

Ignoring his last message, you turn your attention back to the Professor. Changmin can’t erase the grin on his face for the rest of class.

The next day you rush home after work to hop in the shower. Butterflies start to dance in your belly, but you do your best to shoo them away. You consider dressing up like you usually do for class, but worry Changmin will think you’re trying too hard. Ugh, why do you care what Changmin thinks, Y/n? You settle on a t-shirt and shorts with some cozy socks. Looking at the clock on your laptop, you start to feel the nerves as the time approaches 8pm. You continue to look at the clock and your watch every few seconds until finally the Zoom call notification pops up on your desktop. Shooting up from your chair, you quickly take a look in the mirror one last time to check your appearance before answering.

“Changmin.” You say simply, lacking any emotion.

“Y/n,” he responds with a hint of amusement.

You grab your textbook and open it. “I figured we could start from the beginning to refresh our memory first before diving into the most recent lectures.”

Changmin smiles, placing a pair of black rimmed glasses on. He looks good and he knows it. “Whatever you say.” He reaches for his book as well and opens it to the first chapter. “I’m all yours.” You grimace and give him a pointed look. He laughs and you watch the way his Adam's apple bobs on his long neck. He crosses his arms in front of him and your attention shifts to the curve of his biceps. Changmin is wearing a white t-shirt and what look to be his usual grey sweats. He notices your attention and tilts his head curiously. “Are we going to get started?” Your eyes dart up to meet his realizing you’ve been caught looking at him. You clear your throat and thumb through a few pages.

Changmin actually turns out to be a decent study partner and you're shocked at how thorough his notes are. After about 20 minutes into your study session, Changmin decides he’s bored and wants to change the subject.

“Why do you get dressed up for every class?” You look up from your note taking and cock an eyebrow at him.

“I could ask you the same.”

“But I don't.”

“Exactly.” You throw him a sarcastic smile. He smirks in response.

“So…?” He’s waiting for your answer. You sigh and place your pen down.

“Because I can.”

He nods. “Fair enough.”

“Why do you care?” you ask, resuming your writing.

Changmin places his thumb and index finger on his chin to ponder. When he doesn't immediately reply you look back up at him. “I suppose I just find it interesting when the rest of the class are practically in pajamas or off camera. Are you trying to impress someone?”

“Maybe I just like looking my best.”

“But right now you look pretty casual.”

You look down at your attire and internally curse. Maybe you should have dressed up. As if reading your thoughts, Changmin quickly adds, “Not that you don’t look good. I like the way you look tonight too.”

You’re not sure how to reply to his flirtation attempt so you try to get back on task.

“I think the Professor is definitely going to have chapter 3 on the exam. He dedicated two of our lectures to it so I think we should review our mutual notes.”

Changmin pushes back on his chair, balancing on the back legs. He places his hands behind his head. “Mhmm,” he simply hums in agreement. You look up from your book and notice Changmin’s shirt has ridden up, exposing his midriff. His stomach is taut and toned. You try to continue your thought, but end up stuttering over your words. He reaches down and rubs his abs and that’s when you notice the veins leading down his stomach disappearing into his briefs. Changmin’s legs are slightly parted, giving you a full view of his lean body.

“Um,” You try to compose yourself, but struggle. “We..um..page 46…” Words fail as you start to imagine where those thick veins lead to.

“What was that, Y/n? Didn’t quite catch what you said.” You look at him and frown. He’s teasing you and you know it.

“What are you doing?” You ask, impatience in your tone.

“I see the way you watch me in class, Y/n.” Pleasure shoots down your spine and you shiver.

Attempting to feign ignorance, you turn away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. I watch you too. Every time I see you roll your eyes at me I think about stuffing my cock down your throat to teach you a lesson.” You drop the pen in your hand.

“Wh-what did you just say?”

Changmin leans into the camera. His eyes shift down to stare at your mouth. “I think about the way those pretty lips would feel wrapped around my dick.” He closes his eyes briefly and moans as if imagining it right now. “Drives me wild. I look forward to seeing you every class. Thinking about ways I can piss you off.”

“Changmin…you shouldn’t say these things,” you squeak.

“I’ll stop if you really want me to.” He leans back in his chair again and crosses his arms. The veins on his toned forearms poke out and you gulp at the thought of them around you, his hands gripping your neck. You shake your head to rid yourself of these thoughts. Changmin smirks and meets your eyes. “Do you want me to stop?” He palms his groin and you realize he’s hard.

“Fuck,” you say to yourself. Changmin places a hand around the outline of his dick and starts to stroke himself. You bite your lip as you watch him, feeling yourself growing wetter with each stroke. His eyes are on you as he slowly rubs up and down. A low groan escapes his throat.

“No,” you finally say.

“No what?” His voice is hoarse.

“No, don’t stop.”

Changmin pushes his sweats down slightly to give you a better view of his hard dick and for better access.

“Like what you see?” You nod enthusiastically and he chuckles.

“Does baby wanna see my cock?” You nod again.

“Use your words, Y/n,” he says sternly.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“I can’t hear you, baby.”

“Yes, I wanna see it.” Your voice is more confident.

“And what will you give me in return?”

Meeting his eyes, you ask, “What do you want, Changmin?”

“Take your shirt off.”

Completely committed to whatever this game is, you agree to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you just in your pink lacy bra.

“Mmm so pretty. What type of pants are you wearing?”

You tilt the screen of your laptop to give him a view of your whole body. You’re in a pair of sleep shorts. Pushing your desk chair out of the way, you stand. Changmin looks you up and down, finally getting the chance to admire your full form.

“Take your pants off, sweetheart.”

You shake your head. “Your shirt first.”

Changmin considers refusing you, but he thinks your demanding tone is hot and does as you say. His body is chiseled. You’re surprised at how tiny his waist is and it makes your mouth water. Starry eyed and mouth agape, you stare unabashedly now as he resumes touching himself.

“Y/n, take your shorts off.” He is growing impatient with each touch of his hand. You stand and drop them to the floor, revealing a matching pink lace thong.

“You got all dressed up for me, baby?”

“No…”

“I bet you wanted to show it off. Hoped this would happen, huh? Fucking slut.”

You scoff. “You’re so full of yourself.” Despite your words, you can feel how aroused you are. Feeling bold, you sit on the edge of your bed and spread your legs, giving him a view of your clothed pussy.

“Fuck, Y/n.” He starts to stroke himself faster.

“Take your pants off, Changmin.”

“Ooh, say my name again, baby!” he moans.

“Please Changmin,” you whine as need starts to take over you.

He stands and slides his sweats off. The head of his cock is peeking out of his briefs and you lean towards the camera a little for a better view. You want to touch yourself, but still feeling shy, you resign to rubbing your thighs instead. He sits back down, keeping his legs spread for you.

“I want to see your boobs.”

You chuckle and unhook your bra without hesitation. You're horny and want this as much as him now. He watches it fall to the ground. You move closer to the camera so he can see your breasts better and now his mouth drops. You smile at the way his body reacts to you.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Y/n. I just want to wrap my lips around your tits. Swirl my tongue until your nipples are hard.” You suck in a breath trying to hold back a moan. “Are they hard right now?” He wonders aloud.

You gently rub over your nipple knowing full well they’re erect. “Yes,” you say.

“Fuck I bet they taste amazing.”

“I wanna taste you, Min.” His eyes widen, surprised by your candor.

“Yeah, baby? Want me to fill your mouth with my come?” You nod eagerly.

“Let me see you,” you demand.

He shakes his head. “Need you to earn it, baby girl. What do I get in return if I take my cock out for you?” You take a moment to think, then sit back on your bed. Leaning on your hands, you spread your legs wide again and dip your fingers into your panties. A breathy moan escapes you at the contact. Changmin groans in response. “Yeah, baby. Touch yourself, like that.” You toss your head back at the feeling of your fingers on your sensitive clit. “Don’t take your eyes off of me, Y/n.” You face him again and continue to rub while he stares.

“Well?” You moan out. He nods understanding your question. Changmin lifts his waist and pushes his briefs off. His cock springs back, slapping against his abs while precum dripples down the sides. He looks so hard and you can tell he needs relief. You lick your lips at the sight of his long cock. “Touch yourself too, Changmin. Get off with me.”

“Fuck yeah, baby.” He spits in his hand and starts to fist his cock, squeezing his red tip with each pump. You pick up your pace, the sounds of your arousal and his slick fist echo around you. Your breathing starts to quicken and you can’t stop the moans that leave your lips. “Stick your fingers inside and pretend it’s me.” You do as you're told and try to reach your sensitive spot.

“Mmm not enough. I need you, baby,” you whine.

“I know, I wish I was there with you. Next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah, next time I’ll come over and fuck you for real.”

“Come over now then.”

“But you look so pretty touching yourself for me.” He tries to match your pace as you push in and out of yourself spreading your wetness back over your clit.

“Feels so good, Min. Wish you could have a taste.”

“Oh, fuuckkk. Baby, have a taste for me.” You pause momentarily, never having tasted yourself before, but you want to please him. Removing your fingers, you insert them into your mouth and sigh at the taste on your tongue. Changmin curses and starts to pump faster.

“Such a, fuck…such a good girl.” He can’t hide his moans anymore and you're surprised at how high pitched they are. It turns you on further so you return your fingers to your clit to rub harder. “I’m close, Y/n. So fucking close, but I wanna come with you.”

“Wait.” Impatiently, you take your panties off giving him a full view of your pussy. Changbin bites his lip as he looks over your body, watching the way your face contorts as you pleasure yourself. His orgasm is fast approaching.

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby. I’m going to destroy you.” His words help bring you closer to your release, pleasure building with each bump to your clit. Your ministrations increase and you can feel the band about to snap.

“Min, I’m, I’m-” tears start to spring at the corners of your eyes. You’re so close. “Ah, ah, ah, ah.” Your cries increase.

“Yea, baby, fuck! I’m gonna come too.”

“I’m…Changmin, I’m…coming!” You gasp. Changmin shouts your name as he comes with you, spilling white hot liquid over his hand. He continues to pump himself through his orgasm and you do the same. Moaning and rubbing until your thighs start to shake. He looks into your eyes as the two of you try to recover your breathing. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears.

“Y/n, you’re so beautiful,” Changmin says suddenly. The compliment makes your heart flutter. He looks down at his covered hand, amazed at how hard he came.

“If I was there I’d lick you clean,” you say.

“I bet you would. Guess you’ll just have to show me next time.”

“Next time.” You agree.

Changmin walks off screen to wash his hand so you put your shirt and shorts back on. When he comes back, you sit back in your chair at your desk. Changmin notices how flushed your cheeks are. His attention makes you feel hot all over. You both sit in silence. He struggles to think of what to say next and you giggle at how nervous he suddenly seems.

“Not getting shy on me now are you, Min?” He rolls his eyes at your teasing and you both laugh.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Not sure if this study session was too helpful…”

Shaking your head, you chuckle before giving him a wave. “See you.”

“Good night, Y/n.” Changmin returns your wave.

“Good night.” You both smile at each other before closing out the zoom.

End.

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kpopscruggles · 9 months ago

Note

just curious. which tbz members do you think would be in the giving creampie side and giving throat pie side? you can also label a member both if you want. - 📔

Ofc babes I got you! I’m loves tbz asks I’m getting !!

requests are open always you guys so send it in!!!

......................

Creampie

Sangyeon ; We all know this man is a dilf by heart. I would say that originally, he would be into both until he got to breed you, I can also say that sex with him is the type where you beg him to get you pregnant even though you're on the pill, but it drives him Wild.

Jacob; This man is just obsessed, he tries to tell you a reason but really, it is that a creampie can be rough, simple, lazy, intimate, etc. Any kind of sexual things can result in a creampie which is why he loves it so much.

Younghoon ; It’s clean. Although he can go for some messy sex it's much cleaner than just coming on your pussy, that's what he tells you...He loves watching it drip out of you or know that your just filled with his cum.

Throatpie

Kevin; A throatpie hits a super personal spot for him, he gets cocky when he holds your throat, feeling you gulp it down. He gets intimate with himself in way knowing you swallowed as much cum as he spiled. He also has you open your mouth after proving it.

Hyunjae ; He wants to fill your throat so full that some dips from your lips. When you let it fall from your lips this man loses it, sometimes he wants it drizzling onto your chest when you let it leave your mouth.

Chanhee ; Another man who finds it clean but the opposite manner. Watching you swallow it and even lick the corners of his mouth because he’s told you how he’s found it clean but so sexy gets to him fr.

Sunwoo; Filthy. The fact that you're so filthy for him and swallow every drop of cum that comes from his cock is just amazement to him. He convinces you to let him fuck your throat which piles onto the growing addiction of a throatpie.

Both

Eric; (hesmybiasantriedsohardnottowriteaFULLSTORYforthisman) He loves it. Any way that his cock is cumming in your is just amazement for him. Loves both but would say if he had to choose it would be creampie...which it takes him thirty minutes at least to answer this.

Juyeon ; Like Eric he just loves the thought of you being filed with his cum. I can easily see if he cums too deep in your cunt he'll easily finger fuck you to watch is slowly ooze out of your cunt.

Hankyeon ; He’s fine with both but most occasions he’s asking you where you want it mid fuck. The way he will just rush from your cunt to your mouth if you want it that way is crazy. He’s the definition of saying “Whatever my baby wants”

Changmin; He likes both but there’s no destination, if he’s in your throat and feels like he’s close to cumming then you're getting a throat pie and vice versa. He just loves that you allow him to do such a thing to be honest.

#📔 anon #tbz smut #the boyz smut #tbz eric smut #juyeon smut #chanee smut #Sunwoo smut #Sangyeon smut #changmin smut #hankyeon smut #tbz kevin smut #tbz jacob smut #younghoon smut #hyunjae smut

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beamtori · 1 year ago

Text

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭

implied fwb!ji changmin x afab!reader

1.9k words, smut (minors dni), piv sex, porn w/o plot, switch dynamics but changmin leans dom, so much dirty talk 💀, biting hard enough to draw blood, edging, kissing, swearing, overstimulation (f. receiving), fingering/cumplay, pet names (baby, sweetheart, hot stuff, good girl, etc.), aftercare is dinner lol, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it bro), low-key manhandling, it's kinda just... filth tbh (im on my period, sue me), CHANGMINS A LITTLE SHIT

a/n: this is the most self-insert i have ever self-inserted :l if it's awful, blame the brainrot!

"This has got to be a world record."

You rolled your eyes as you walked into his apartment, pointedly ignoring the smug smirk on his face and the arms exposed by sleeves rolled to his shoulders. "Do you want to get laid or not?"

Ji Changmin closed his front door, tongue poking his cheek, but it did nothing to conceal his smile. He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "How many red lights did you run?"

Heat rose to your neck and you scowled. "I'm literally going to walk out the door right now."

"Try me, sweetheart."

So maybe you had dropped everything to get here when he sent you that blatantly obvious thirst trap photo, but you were thirsty; what could you say? It was a fucking shame he knew your weakness.

"Aww," he cooed, taking the few steps to meet you. He gently grabbed your chin in one hand and jutted his bottom lip outward. "Don't pout, baby. You know it'll only make me wanna kiss you."

You licked your bottom lip. "I get to draw blood, then we'll call it even."

There was a gleam in his eyes, the one that first got you addicted to falling into this man's bed. "Whatever you want, sweetheart."

This was what you meant by drawing blood.

Changmin's moans filled the room, his breathless, desperate "ah, ah, ah"s would engrave themselves into your flesh like you nipped at the skin on his neck. You could taste the iron in your mouth, dark and sticky, red staining your teeth and your lips as you kissed and lapped at the wound. Each bite would bloom his favorite shade of purple by morning. Your forearms braced against the bed sheets on either side of his head, your knees growing sore from the steady rocking of your hips.

Flesh stuck to flesh, his hands grappled at your body to hold on for dear fucking life as you rode his cock and marked his pretty canvas of a body for your own. Sweat glistened, further highlighted by the warm glow of the lamp on the nightstand.

"Baby, baby, baby—" he babbled as his hand buried itself in your hair to pull you out from his neck, "—tight. Oh fucking hell, you're tight. C'mere."

He caught your kiss, his blood smearing across his own lips. You licked him clean as always, humming against him as he spoke through the earnestness.

You suddenly pulled away from him and braced your hands on his pecs. The view from this angle was enough to make you clench: Changmin splayed beneath you, lips and neck bruised appropriately, a dazed glaze over his dark eyes, sweat making his skin shine. "Oh, look at you," you purred, giving him an indulgent roll of your hips.

Changmin gritted his teeth, hand clutching your thigh and inching higher. "You don't move, sweetheart, and I'll move for you," he smiled thinly and backed his statement up with a firm spank of your ass.

You lurched forward in surprise; his chuckle filled the room.

"I have power, too, you know."

"Okay, hot stuff," you huffed, brushing your hair from your eyes. "You realize you could have flipped us over a long time ago, right?"

A smirk-like grin curled onto his lips, devilish and enough to make you squeeze around him again. "I know. But you looked like you were having fun up there, princess. Plus, your tits look so good like this."

You rolled your eyes. "You're such a dude."

"Yn, I sent you a thirst trap to get you into bed with me like, an hour ago; now you're calling me a dude?"

You sighed, sitting upright, warming his cock. "True."

"Baby. Sweetcheeks. Apple of my eye—"

"Hm?"

"As much as I love that you're just sitting on my cock like your throne," he drawled, "I wanna make you cum as many times as you ran red lights."

"I didn't run any red lights—"

You squealed, your world twisting and your back hitting the sheets. Changmin grinned from over you, one large hand palming your right boob.

You were breathless. He leaned down to devour your mouth. A trail of spit clung between your lips when he pulled away for a second. "So what you're saying is you want me to edge you?" He husked, tongue swiping along his bottom lip, his eyes shining with a dark glimmer.

Genuine fear spiked through your heart. "Ji Changmin, I swear to god—"

He gave one powerful thrust, and you clung onto him as your swear melted into a whine. "The government name? Only good girls get to cum, Yn-ie. Be a good girl, hm, and moan for me."

You dug your fingernails into his back as he drove his cock into you so hard you could see stars circling. He swallowed all of the pretty, desperate noises coming out of your mouth with his own. You arched your front into him, hips lifting slightly to meet him until his hip bone smashed against you.

"That's it," he grunted, kissing you as your high approached and his thumb grounded into your puffed up clit. "Take my cock so well; fuck—me—"

You were so close, and you nodded to what he said—nodded so desperately as you dragged your nails down his back and chased that high like a fucking dog—

Everything stopped.

"You want dinner?"

He was leaning over you to grab his phone off the nightstand, the light making the sweat dripping down his chest glisten like liquid pearl. His cock was still inside you, but you could feel the impending tightening of your orgasm slowly deflating.

Your blood pressure spiked. "What the fuck, Changmin?"

He tried to hide his smile. Tried. He sat over you as he opened a food delivery app and showed you the screen. "They've got that new Hawaiian restaurant and that fried chicken place you like."

"You are such an asshole." You draped your arm over your eyes, pussy clenching around him as if that alone could get you back to bliss.

You felt him shift, and then he was laughing fondly, removing the arm from over your eyes and pressing kisses to your face. "Aw, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know you were close; just wanted to tease you a little bit."

You glared. "You're fucking evil."

He grinned. "Clearly you like that." He kissed a trail from your nose down to your ear, murmuring, "Like calls to like."

You bit your lip and tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "Please, can I cum?" You didn't know where it came from, but you knew he wouldn't resist the pleading, because as he had said, like called to like.

A kiss right below your ear. "Well, aren't you sweet when you're desperate? Whatever you want, baby."

You sighed as he brought his lips back up to yours—thank fuck. One of his hands curled lightly around the side of your neck, the other wrapping around your right thigh to hike your leg up. His cock dragged through you at a slightly different angle, and you squirmed, hands clinging onto his shoulders and back.

"You wanna cum, baby? I'll give you what you want."

He groaned into your neck, teeth nipping at the skin there like he was grounding himself. Cock bullying into you, hand around your neck, the pressure so sweet and delicious. You were going start seeing things, your throat was losing breath as you begged for sweet, sweet fucking mercy.

Changmin suckled on the joint between neck and collarbone. "So good for me, huh?—dropped everything to see me—" He moaned into you, the sound urging you over the edge.

"Changmin," you cried out desperately. Closecloseclose, oh my god, you were close. "Changmin, baby, please. I'm so close—fuck."

Sweat dribbled down the slope of his nose as he hovered over you and continued to fuck you through until you were leaping over that cliff of pleasure—literally throwing yourself—thighs shaking in his grasp. You let out a loud whine when he didn't stop moving inside you; he was still rock hard and he locked your ankles at the base of his back to curve his cock up into you.

You clawed at him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"My good girl can give me another, can't she?" His nose nudged against yours, a sharp contrast to the obscene sound of his balls slapping against your skin and the wet squelches of his thrusts. "Came all this way just for me…"

He brought his hand away from your neck to draw brutal circles around your clit, desperate to feel you clench around him again. His eyebrows creased, coaxing another orgasm out of you as he chased his own.

"Changmin," you stammered.

"Gonna come for me?"

"Yes," your breath came out in a delirious pant, pussy deliciously overstimulated. "Gonna come, gonna come, Changmin."

You were quivering around him again, incoherent thoughts half-babbled and half-moaned. The tension in your belly was mounting faster and faster now, and you could feel Changmin's thrusts getting sloppier. The tension snapped, and you drowned in it. You cried as you clung onto Changmin's form and he stilled, emptying out ropes of warm cum into you and making you squirm again.

As you both came down from your highs, he pressed his lips to the sides of your neck, eyes closed in a blissful daze. "Fuck, I owe you dinner for that. Shit."

You shifted uncomfortably as he slowly pulled out of you. "I did bite a chunk out of your neck," you exhaled. Both yours and his eyes wandered down to where your bodies met, your folds a mess of your combined fluids.

You saw him lick his lips, eyes glued to your cunt. "Earth to Changmin," you chuckled, poking his dimple.

His eyes shot to you for a moment before he was dipping his finger into the mess, swirling the cum around and pushing it back into you.

You mewled. "Dude," you shivered as the girth of his fingers filled you.

"You did not just call me dude when I'm pushing my cum back inside you," he grinned, crawling back over you and sealing off any chance at a response by kissing you. Your hips pushed into his hand, grinding against his finger. "Mmh, greedy."

You playfully pushed him off you. "Off, Changmin."

He laughed, but obliged, pulling away and helping you sit up. He took his cum-soaked finger and stuck it in his mouth to clean it. "Okay, but for real, do you want dinner?"

You grimaced as you moved yourself onto your knees to shuffle over to him and inspect the nasty little bite you left on him. "Dinner sounds good. Whatever you want." You frowned and gave the blooming bruise an experimental poke.

Changmin hissed low under his breath while he perused the delivery app on his phone. His hair stuck up in weird places and he ran a hand through it. "Whatever I want?"

"I did a number on you," you muttered. "Lemme clean it up so it doesn't get infected."

"It's all good, sweetheart; I got it. Just sit and rest." He shoved his phone into your lap and disappeared into the bathroom before you could object. You found a comfortable position against his headboard and decided on a place you knew the both of you would like.

From the bathroom, you could hear his whistle. "I'm almost sorry I have to cover this one up," he marveled, inspecting the bite mark. "If you hadn't drawn blood, I could leave it out for people to see."

Your heart leapt. "So people know you're sleeping with a vampire?" You joked half-heartedly.

"Well, sure," he mused. But he turned his head to send you a wink. "But also so people know I'm taken."

a/n: the ending is for ME, OKAY? :')))

tbz m.list

#the boyz smut #the boyz x reader #ji changmin smut #changmin smut #the boyz fanfic #the boyz oneshot #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz drabbles #ji changmin oneshot #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin imagines #ji changmin scenarios #ji changmin drabbles

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blizzardfluffykpop · 2 months ago

Text

Leather Couch

Summary: Changmin, Juyeon, and you move into your new apartment together. And the new couch you got for the occasion is just uncomfortable.

Oneshot

Smut, PWP, Fluff?, Moving in together, Established Relationship au

If you are a minor, please do not read/engage with this post. This is an 18+ work.

Warnings: Unprotected sex (pls practice safe sex) over a Leather Couch, Soft Dom! Juyeon, Slightly Mean Dom! Changmin, Double Penetration (Spit-roast), Partially clothed, Slight teasing, Praise, Degradation?, Oral (m! receiving), Edging/Orgasm Denial ((r! receiving) accidental for one party but intentional from the other), Spitting ((r! receiving) into mouth- once), Mentions of pain kink, Creampie, Spanking (r! receiving), Aftercare?, Use of Pet Names: Baby, Dollface, Babydoll, Angel, Cumdump (once) *And if I missed any pls lmk!*

Word Count: 2,061

Juyeon X Afab!Reader X Changmin (Q) (Jukyu)

[A/n: I took a nap and dreamt of half of this- so enjoy :)]

Again, if you are a minor, please do not read/engage with this post. This is an 18+ work.

------

Juyeon stood behind you as you assessed how you were both going to carry the couch up to your apartment. You look down at your shoes, unsure, when another set of shoes comes into your vision. You look up, “Minnie, you’re finally back!” He grins, “Yeah, it just took me an extra minute. They were taking forever on our lunch order.” You three had been moving furniture all day. And you still weren’t sure if Changmin lost at rock paper scissors by having to pay for lunch, considering he got to leave the heavy lifting behind. You were certain you’d take the financial loss rather than lug another thing up the steps. You let out a sigh as you looked at the couch you had to help take up. Changmin kissed your slightly sweaty forehead, “You okay, doll?” You shake your head, and Juyeon places his hand on your shoulder, “Angel?” You look back at him, and he says, “You wanna take the lunch up to our apartment? And Minnie and I will take the couch upstairs.” If you had more energy, you’d let out a ‘woohoo’, but you didn't, so you just let out a sigh of relief, the last dresser drawers taking everything out of you. You kiss his cheek in thanks before holding your hand out for the bag, and Changmin hands it over. You look over at them, and they gesture for you to go up ahead so you can keep the door open while they carry it up. You watch over them, pausing at every landing before they finally make it up to the fifth floor.

You hold the door open as they bring it in. Juyeon sets it down and immediately collapses onto the couch, “Next time, let’s move in when the elevators are working.” You three laugh as you open up the bags on the coffee table. Changmin plops down on the other side, and you hand them their takeout dishes before sitting between them. When they had sat down, they made it look a lot more comfortable than it was. You wrinkle your nose but deal with it. Sitting on any seat is better than lifting again. You eat your meals and grin as you realize, “It’s our first meal here.” Changmin grins, “Let’s commemorate it.” He has the three of you pose with your meals. And you all laugh as you see how silly and worn out the three of you look.

You finally voice your couch complaint when you’ve finished your meal and placed the box on the coffee table. “I know it’s a new leather couch and all, but it’s so uncomfortable.” Changmin hums as he takes one last sip from his drink, “Well, we still have yet to break it in.” You look over at him and ask, “How do you suggest we do that?” He grins, “I have a few ideas. Don’t you, Juyo?” And Juyeon grins as he puts his takeout box on the table, “Yeah…” You look at both of them, wondering what they meant. You instantly catch on when Juyeon’s hand moves to sit on your thigh, and you feel Changmin’s rest on the other. Juyeon asks as his fingers creep higher, “You okay with this?” You smile, “More than okay.” He smiles and kisses you. Changmin continues running his fingers up your thighs as Juyeon cups your clothed core before rubbing against it. When you part, Changmin captures your lips in a kiss, and you feel someone pull your jeans down to your knees. And then, you feel two sets of fingers brushing against your core. And you grind your hips into their hands. That’s when you hear Juyeon sigh, “What do you say we bend baby over the armrest?” Changmin pulls back, “I think that would be perfect.”

Juyeon has you over the armrest faster than you can blink, not wasting any time. You hear Juyeon’s pants drop, his belt hitting the floor as you watch Changmin pulls his down just enough for his cock to spring free. You watch as he rests his knee in between your hands, and he smiles, “I can’t wait to fuck your pretty little mouth.” He rubs his thumb along your mouth before giving you another kiss. Juyeon spreads his fingers over you after pulling your underwear down, “Fuck, you’re already so wet.” He slips two in, and you let out a muffled moan against Changmin’s lips before he pulls them out, running them over your folds. You hear him hum and then feel him run his tip over your folds before slowly starting to push in. You let out a deep breath as he fills you up. Changmin pulls away and holds your jaw, making you look up at him with your mouth ajar, and he spits into your mouth.

You smile at him as you hold it in your mouth, and he gives you a proud little nod. You move your hands from the leather cushions up to hold Changmin’s hips as he lines up, rubbing his tip along your lips before finally pushing past your lips. You swirl your tongue around his tip before he slips into your mouth. He groans and thrusts a little into your mouth as Juyeon starts thrusting into you. Juyeon pulls out of you and slams back in, causing the oxygen to leave your lungs. You quickly tap on Changmin’s hips, and he pulls out. You cough before inhaling large amounts of oxygen as you look down, holding onto his thighs as Juyeon fully settles in. You look back up at Changmin to see his hand pumping him softly, “You okay, babydoll?” You nod and whisper, “It was just a lot. Sorry.” He shakes his head, and with his free hand, he runs it through your hair, “Don’t be sorry.” Juyeon stays still while you take a moment before you go, “Alright, I’m ready.” And Juyeon starts fucking into you as Changmin places his tip against your lips again, and you kiss it before taking him in your mouth again. He moves his hand off as you take him deeper. His hand that was running through your hair tightens as he holds you.

You move your hips a bit to meet Juyeon’s thrusts, and he tells you, “You’re so tight, baby… You’re taking me so well.” His pace slowly increases as you feel his fingers find and rub over your clit. You let out a little whine around Changmin’s dick and swallow around him, causing him to groan. “Ba-baby…” You hum, looking up at him with apologetic eyes, and he sighs, rutting his hips faster into your mouth. You hold onto Changmin’s hip harder, squeezing your eyes shut, when Juyeon starts applying pressure against your clit. Your walls tighten around Juyeon, which causes him to groan, “F-fuck…” He applies more pressure, causing you to whine, and he rubs you faster, matching the pace of his thrusts. Changmin’s hand tightens in your hair, making you look him in the eyes as he thrusts into your mouth. “Yeah, that’s it, pretty baby. Look at me.” You do everything to hold his gaze as you feel your orgasm creep up on you. Juyeon moves his hand from your hip to smack your ass, causing you to jolt and take Changmin fully in, off your pace. You gag a little, and Changmin pulls back a bit so you can catch your breath. After another smack, you catch your breath and signal him to continue. He thrusts into your mouth as you watch his brows furrow in concentration.

As you grow closer, you can’t help the moans you let around his dick which makes your eyes shut. You hear Changmin tsk before he goes, “Hey, is our door locked?” You look up at him in surprise, wondering why he’d be asking that now. When you see an evil grin on his face, Juyeon says, “Oh, let me go check…” Your eyes go wide as Juyeon pulls out, and you feel your orgasm slowly ebb away from you. You swat at Changmin’s thigh, “You!” And he smirks, “What, baby? We had to make sure the door was locked.” Juyeon returns, and tells you, “The bolt wasn’t pulled into place.” Juyeon leans over and kisses your exposed shoulder, “Sorry for pulling out, angel. You were probably close, weren’t you?” You give him a small nod, “It’s okay…” You couldn’t be mad at him when Changmin orchestrated it all. He strokes along your sides under your shirt as he lines up again and gives a shallow thrust before fully entering you again, “Better?” You hum, and Changmin goes, “It just means we can go for longer, dollface.” And Juyeon murmurs, “We’ll make it up to you, angel.” Changmin whispers to you, “Next time, keep your eyes on me.” You do as you're told, and Changmin slips back into your mouth. You look up to see his devious smirk and roll your eyes, desperate to reach your high again.

You feel Juyeon’s hands tighten around your hips as he starts slamming into you, and the couch squeaks against the floor as he gets closer to his high, “F-fuck, baby, going to take all our cum?” You hum around Changmin, which makes him groan before he says, “Y-Yeah… that’s a good doll.” He lets out another groan, “You’re going to look so good, fill-filled with our cum.” Juyeon groans, moving his other hand to smack your ass a few times again, “A pretty little cum dump, just- just for u-us.” You moan loudly, your walls clenching at the thought. You feel Juyeon’s hips stutter as he hits high. Your nails dig into Changmin’s hips as he thrusts faster, watching him come undone before your eyes. Juyeon continues fucking into you until you hit yours. And you cry out around Changmin’s cock as you do, causing him to finally cum down your throat. You feel Juyeon’s hand smooth over your ass, trying to calm the redness.

Your jaw feels sore as he slowly pulls out and smears the rest on your lips. You lick your lips as he tells you, “Don’t spill a drop. We don’t want any cum on our new couch.” You give him a content smile as you open your mouth to show you swallowed it all. His hips stutter forward, “Fuck, baby…” Juyeon interrupts, “Min-” “Yeah?” “Can you get me a towel, or we’re going to have a big mess on our hands…” He nods, and you laugh a little, causing Juyeon to groan, “Don’t do that, angel… It feels too good.” You nod, and Changmin returns with a towel and hands it to Juyeon. You gasp as Juyeon pulls out and lets out a groan as your cum spills out. “Shit, that was so hot…” Changmin gently holds your jaw, placing a kiss on your lips as you feel Juyeon softly wiping away the cum that spills out of you. He moves back, pulling his own jeans up before he helps you back into yours, and Changmin fixes your shirt.

Juyeon kisses your lower back before leaving to toss the rag into the washer. You look over the crescent marks you left on Changmin, “Does it hurt?” He shakes his head as he pulls his pants over them, “Stung when you first did it. But it’s fine, you know I like that.” You nod before moving from your spot on the armrest and collapse back onto the couch, completely spent, and you sigh, “Next time, we’re hiring movers.” Changmin lays his head on your shoulder as he sighs, “Agreed.” Juyeon drapes himself over both of you, and he sighs, “Or we live here for long enough we won’t remember moving.” You three laugh, and Changmin says, “I’m sure we won’t forget today. After all, we do have a photo.” You agree and run your fingers through Changmin’s hair, as you rest your other hand on Juyeon’s back and draw circles into it. You murmur, “Do we have the TV connected?” Juyeon hums, “We should?” Changmin grabs the remote and turns it on. “Wanna watch the weather channel?” You shrug, “Yeah, it’ll be something to fall asleep to.” Juyeon agrees as Changmin tosses the remote back onto the coffee table, and the three of you doze off, too worn out to feel the still uncomfortable couch.

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byunbun01 · 2 years ago

Text

TBZ PROMPTS | 18+ content.

(( hihi ^^ so my friend @oceansuncherry has given me prompts for each member of the boyz and these are the little scenarios that came to mind, please enjoy !! each members content will be tagged accordingly , as i edit this post with each member i'm realizing how out of control i am... ))

♡ Explicit, 14k.

♡ Reader is gender neutral in every scenario, because in this house we love being delulu and inclusive ^-^

♡ All members included. Sangyeon - “Do you think you can handle it?”

[[ boss /worker, thigh riding, make out, there is alcohol involved ]]

— You’re currently out for drinks with a few of your co-workers, honestly, you didn’t really want to go but you’ve already denied so many invitations that everyone in the office was beginning to think you hated them. It wasn’t that you disliked your co-workers, but you would just rather be curled up on the couch with a glass of wine watching a new drama after dealing with emails and phone calls all day.

“Y/n, you want more?” Sangyeon questions, holding a bottle of soju in his hands.

You slid your hand over the top of your cup, shaking your head, “No, thank you.”

He nods. Setting the bottle back down on the table to bring his freshly poured drink to his mouth. You watch out of the corner of your eyes, watching the way he laughs at the others' jokes and sips his drink. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, exposing his long arms and a silver watch on his wrist.

You’ve already had two glasses of peach soju and you’re warming up, feeling your cheeks warm and your thoughts swaying. Sangyeon was so handsome, reminding you of the lead in one of the office dramas that you had been watching recently. It was dangerous, thinking about him this way, he was above you… You were just an intern and he was the one in charge of overlooking your group. He was just so friendly and handsome.

“Ah, it’s getting late,” One of the other interns hummed, their heads swaying as they checked their phones.

Everyone began to excuse themselves one by one… But Sangyeon kept drinking, laughing and chatting with his co-workers.

“Y/n, are you feeling okay?” Sangyeon questions, tilting his head, “You’ve been so quiet all evening?”

“Oh,” You hum, nodding your head and looking down at your barely touched drink, “Just enjoying myself Mr. Lee.”

He tuts his tongue, “You don’t have to be so formal after work hours.”

“Sorry…” You mumble, almost calling him by his office name again but stopping yourself. You pick up your drink, taking another sip.

Sangyeon smirks. His eyes drag over you slowly before turning back to one of the older workers. And suddenly it feels like it’s a million degrees in the restaurant. You excuse yourself to the washroom.

Leaning up against the wall, you touch your cheek, it’s warm to the touch and you exhale…Why did he look at you like that? There was no way you had just imagined all of that, maybe it was best to call it a night and go home as well. You had almost prepared yourself mentally enough to go back out there and excuse yourself when the door opens and Sangyeon appears. He smiles, stepping towards you and suddenly it feels like your heartbeat has multiplied. Why was he so handsome?

“I-I was just about to say my goodbyes,” You stutter, trying to avoid any unnecessary interaction with him. You tried to step past him but you were stopped by his hand on your waist.

You tried to step back, trying to escape him but all you’ve managed to do is back yourself into the wall and he takes the opportunity to lean into you.

“You’ve stared at me all night,” Sangyeon breathes, “It was so hard to pay attention you know, you look so…” His hands tighten on your waist, leaning into your neck, “Pretty…You’re always trying to steal my attention, hmm?”

“Mr. Lee,” You gasp, squirming against him.

Sangyeon grabs your hands, pinning them above your head… Your skin feels like it’s on fire and your heart is throbbing. He smells so good, the mix of soju with his cologne has your head spinning.

“If you keep calling me that, I’m not going to be able to contain myself,” Sangyeon groans, resting his head on your shoulder, “Do you think you can handle it? ”

You squeeze your thighs together. He’s holding your hands up with only one hand, the other dragging down the front of your chest. Stopping at your waist again, his fingers squeezing as he inhales and exhales. He slots his knee between your thighs. And you let him. Stretching out your neck as his teeth graze your neck, peppering you with kisses.

“A-Ah, Mr. Lee,” You moan…Squirming your hands, but his grip tightens. Biting down into your neck.

He tugs you forward by your waist. You gasp at the friction, grinding yourself over his thigh, rocking your hips with the rhythm of his strong hands. His lips against your neck. There was no way you were leaving this bathroom without such a visible mark.

“You can’t leave a mark,” You pant breathlessly, “They’ll know.”

“Embarrassed of me, babe?” Sangyeon whispers against your neck…”How about here then.”

His lips entangle with yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue slips into your mouth and you can taste the soju on his tongue. Your own intoxication has your mind spinning, you’re so dizzy you can’t think straight. Grinding yourself on his thigh seeking your own pleasure, lost in the pressure that was pooling between your thighs.

“So eager,” He coos, kissing down your jaw, his lips pressed against your neck again, “I want to hear you, sweetheart.”

Sangyeon lets go of your hands, both of his hands now attached to your waist. Squeezing and tugging…You can’t help but moan so pathetically. Falling into Sangyeon, burying your face into his chest, panting and gasping for air.

“Say my name,” Sangyeon groans, his voice raspy and heavy.

“Mr. Lee,” You moan, “Sir, I’m going to cum…”

“Fuck,” Sangyeon exhales, “Cum for me sweetheart.”

His hand slips between your thighs, rubbing you through your clothes and it’s game over. You gasped and jerked forward, your entire body trembling as you rode out the pleasure that surged between you.

“How are you going to call my name in the office now?” Sangyeon teases, his hands dragging over your thighs.

You lean back, resting your head against the cold wall... You stare at him, smiling, “I think I’ll be fine, Mr.Lee..”

He scoffs, biting his lip and nodding, “Touche...Touche..”

You had never expected this side of him. He was always so sweet and kind in the office, walking in late with donuts and coffee. Always smiling widely and catering to everyone's needs, you would never expect in a million lifetimes he’d have you pinned up against the wall taking what he wanted from you. Jacob - “I’ve wanted something like this for a while now.”

[[ rough sex, nails, spanking, jacob lets out his anger in a healthy manner, minor derogatory names (slut) , jacob manhandling you is so hot wtf ]]

– Your boyfriend Jacob has always enjoyed gaming, spending a lot of his spare time playing matches with his friends. You’ve never minded though, truthfully you found it cute and enjoyed that you could both be in the same room enjoying each other's company while doing the things you enjoy.

You’re currently laying in his bed. Wearing one of his hoodies and no pants, cocooned in his comforter while one of your dramas plays on the screen. Your full focus is on the show, reading the subtitles and lounging in your comfort. But the focus is lost when Jacob groans, frustrated. His fist clenched, clearly, he wanted to hit something but instead, he breathed in and out.

“You good?” You question, reaching for the remote to pause your show.

“Yeah,” He muttered. Reaching for his mouse again, there were a few clicks before he lazily threw his mouse. Leaning back in his gaming chair.

He was silent.

And you knew that internally his mind was a fucking storm right now.

You pulled the blankets off yourself, crawling out of the bed. He looks up at you tilting his head as you crawl into his lap.

“What are you doing?” He questions.

“You’re upset,” You hum, “I want to make it better.”

You place your hands on his shoulders, adjusting yourself so that your knees are a little more comfortable in the chair, straddling Jacob. You arch out your back, sliding a hand down his chest until your hand is now between your own thighs… You brush your fingers over his crotch.

“How are you going to make it better, hmm?” Jacob questions. His hands latch onto your hips, one slipping under your hoodie and pressing into your back.

“Take your anger out on me,” You say sweetly, your smile as you sit back a bit.

Jacob’s intrigued, chewing on his lip as his eyes drag over you slowly. He slips his hand under the front of your sweater, his fingers tracing the waistband of your underwear… slipping his fingers in and pulling them and letting go, the elastic snaps back against your skin and you gasp.

“Limits?”

You shake your head, “I'll tell you if it’s too much.”

He inhales sharply, slipping his hand under your hoodie and dragging his nails over your stomach, “Fuck, I’ve wanted something like this for a while now.”

“Mmm,” You hum, tilting her head back.

He drags his nails down the inside of your thighs. The heat pools on your skin, welts already forming in the wake of his wandering hands. He squeezes your thighs, pinching skin between his hands. He’s silent, touching and feeling you, but it’s so rough… His fingers were laced with rage and turmoil.

“I want you,” He groans, “Get up.”

You do as he says. Climbing off his lap again. He grabs you by the hips pulling you into him. His face pressed into your stomach as he pulled down your underwear, he kissed your thigh, pushing your underwear past your knees. They fall to your ankles and you step out of them. Your hands cradling Jacob’s head, your fingers weaving into his hair. He grabs your ass, squeezing the skin before pulling his hand back.

The slap rings in your ear, and you jerk forward, fisting his hair and tugging his head back. He looks up at you smirking, his tongue prodded into his cheek like some cocky asshole. Fuck, you��re so turned on by this version of him. He slaps your ass again.

Your reaction is exactly what he’s looking for… He slaps your ass again, this time dragging his nails down your thighs. Your squirm, your skin inflamed. But it feels good. His hands are on your hips, pushing you back. He stands up. Towering over you as he pushed you around so effortlessly.

Jacob puts his hand on your neck, pushing down, “If you make a mess, I’ll be upset, baby.”

At first, you were confused until your chest was flush with his keyboard, the led lights were glowing, flashing an aurora of reds and blues…If you messed up anything on his desk, there was probably hundreds of dollars worth of equipment. Fuck. Fuck.

You’re so focused on holding yourself up. It takes you by surprise the way he kicks your feet apart, lining his cock up with your hole. He fucks into you quickly, the stretch takes you by surprise, but it has you moaning. He doesn’t give you any time to gather yourself before his hands are on your hips, fucking into you hard and deep. Your hands are gripping the edge of his desk, trying with everything in your power to not let yourself put your weight down on his keyboard.

He’s fucking into you so roughly that the desk has begun to shake. And your entire world feels like it’s crashing down around you. It’s so deep you feel like you’re going to cum in seconds, his nails digging into your hips.

Jacob is grunting and groaning, letting out a series of fucks and you’re so fucking tight, you can’t help but clench around him. Everything inside of you pulsing and throbbing.

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…'“ You moan, “Ugh, harder, fuck me harder please.”

You couldn’t even possibly imagine that he could fuck you harder, but he does. He pulls out slowly, before grabbing your hips and pulling you back into him with one quick movement. Holy fuck. It hurt so good. You’re so wet it’s dripping down your thighs. He pushed you back into the desk, slapping your ass a few more times.

“What a good slut, you take me so well..”

He pulls you back into him and your entire body feels numb, you can barely hold yourself up anymore. You feel so dizzy. It was like Jacob was a completely different person. You knew he got mad but you couldn’t even begin to imagine this was how this was going to happen.

"Cum inside of me,” You moan, so delirious for pleasure.

Jacob fucks into you, his rhythm steady and his hands latched to your hips as he pulls you back into him. You’re moaning with each thrust. You have your head shoved into the bend of your arm, drooling all over the sleeve of your sweater. Panting hard.

“Shit,” Jacob hisses. Pushing himself in as deep as he could and holding himself there.

You can feel him pulsing inside of you and it feels so inexplicably good. You feel so numb and sensitive. You can’t even remember when you came, but you felt exhausted like you had cum over a hundred times…

Jacob stays inside of you. Basking in the afterglow.

“Holy fuck,” You groan, wiping your mouth on the sleeve of your sweater before standing back up. You examine the desk and there is little to no damage, just a few figures had fallen over.

“Thank you,” Jacob hums, grabbing the back of the sweater and stumbling back, you fall into his lap, and he wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his head into your back, “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Mmm, I’m good… Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, a lot better.”

Younghoon - “It’s not something that I can easily forget.”

[[ heavy make-out, touching in public, confession, virgin reader, finger fucking, idk why this one is a little soft??? ;u; ]]

– You had almost gotten away with it, almost…

That night replaying in your head, you still couldn't believe the way that you had kissed Younghoon. You could blame the liquor or the chanting of all of your friends outside of the stupid closet. But it was all so cliché…

7 minutes in heaven. It was a game for kids and yet there you were, the minutes passed by like seconds. Wrapped up in Younghoon with his tongue in your mouth and your back against a cupboard. It was the furthest thing from heaven you had ever known.

But that night was weeks again. And the shame was eating you alive, you were a virgin and yet you were so lost to the temptation that your friend had to drag you out of the closet. Vodka and Cherry whiskey mixed on your tongue. It was so embarrassing. You hoped that Younghoon had forgotten about it… He was the head of the musical arts department. So thankfully running into him on campus was the least of your worries.

You had let your guard down. Going to karaoke with your friends, two drinks in and you were belting out a song with your best friend. You were aware that your friends had invited another group of friends to come and join but you were having fun, dancing around with the mic in your hand.

Everyone was laughing and singing along, the table was full of drinks and snacks. It was a good night.

When your song ends you turn around to hand off the mic to somebody else, and your stomach drops. Being so absorbed in your musical number that you hadn’t noticed that everyone else had arrived. And Younghoon was sitting across from you, his eyes watching you.

He looks so handsome today…

One of Younghoon’s friends jumps up, snatching the mic from your hand and you left walking to your spot awkwardly. You sit down next to him, wondering if the tension is so obvious that you’re exposing yourself to the entire room that you haven't been able to stop thinking about Younghoon. It had been weeks but you hadn’t forgotten the way he tasted or the way his hands felt under your shirt. Was it just the desire? Or have you developed a crush on Younghoon?

God. You felt like you could die right now, letting your shame and embarrassment be buried with you.

“Hey,” Younghoon greets, smiling... “You’re y/n, right?”

"Yeah,” You answer, reaching for your drink off the table and bringing it to your lips, you have to fight yourself from finishing off the glass. The liquor courage was a little too tempting, “Younghoon, right?”

He chuckles, leaning into you a bit with his arms crossed over his chest, “This small talk is a little boring, y/n... Do you know how hard it was to get you alone again?”

“Ah, sorry,” You mutter, not even sure what you’re really apologizing for, “Let’s just forget that happened okay?”

“It’s not something that I can easily forget,” Younghoon breathes, his hand creeping up onto your thigh.

You inhale. Looking down at his hand and back at your friends that were all fixated on the screen of flashing lyrics. There was no one paying attention to you. But you still felt like all eyes were on you… His hands slid further up your thigh and you swear you could see stars, your stomach twisting.

You jump up.

Everyone looks at you and you awkwardly smile, excusing yourself with a quick excuse of needing to use the washroom badly. You stumble out of the dark room, and the second the door opens you’re greeted with cold air that feels nice. Your cheeks are so hot and your heart is racing.

Why the fuck would he touch you like that around all of your friends? What if you had both been caught?

You stumble forward, heading towards the back door that people often used to go for cigarette breaks or to get some fresh air. It could easily get stuffy in a room full of people. You stepped outside and it was exactly what you needed to help calm down but you’ve only just realized that you’ve forgotten your phone inside, tucked away in your purse. You sigh. Pressing your back into the cold wall.

How were you supposed to go back in there? Fuck.

The door opens and you can’t help but laugh as you watch Younghoon step toward you. Because of course he would chase after you and get you alone, and now you had no excuse or reason to get away from him.

“No…No, go away,” You say while shaking your head, you didn’t really mean it. Fuck, you wanted him so badly. And you hated that he had this effect on you.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll leave you alone.”

He turns to go back inside and you feel yourself begin to panic. You reach out grabbing onto the sleeve of his sweater, stopping him from leaving. He turns around, smirking. You barely have a chance to register what you’ve done as he pushed you up against the wall. His hands are on your hips and you’re squirming and gasping for air. His lips are on your neck, sucking the skin in between his teeth and biting down. His hands are rough and dry, dragging up your soft tummy. You don’t even know when or how his hands had gotten under your shirt so quickly.

“Younghoon,” You gasp, “What if someone sees us…”

“So?” He whispers, “Let them catch us, I’m not ashamed that I like you.”

You feel like you're about to explode. Your heart racing and your mind dissolving into a muddled mess.

“Kiss me,” You beg, “Please…”

And he does. His mouth crashes against yours, the kiss is so deep you’re left panting for air and pulling away in an attempt trying to regather yourself. He’s breathing heavily. Pressing his body weight into you as he pants against your chest.

“I’m a virgin,” You whimper, nervous and beginning to panic.

“That’s okay,” Younghoon nods his head, “I’ll go easy on you.”

He kisses you again. This time his hands are on your neck, holding your face in his hands while his lips meld with yours, his tongue slipping inside your mouth, swallowing every pliant noise you made. He shoves his hand into our pants, massaging you slowly. You don’t stop him, melting into his touch. Kissing you until he’s satisfied you're ready… Pressing two fingers at your entrance and slipping them inside of you slowly. You mewl so pathetically, your hands clutching into his sweater. He kisses your forehead, praising you for taking him so well. His fingers are pumping in and out of you. You bury your face into his chest, trying to muffle your voice that you can’t seem to control.

“You’re so tight,” He croons, “Fuck…”

You moan. Allowing Younghoon to take complete control of you, clenching around his fingers as the pleasure built up until you couldn’t handle it anymore. Trembling as you came, panting into his chest as you tried to gather yourself. So overwhelmed by him.

Younghoon holds you in his arms, praising you sweetly as you come down from your high… You can’t believe you’ve just let him finger you in the back of an alleyway. You barely knew him, but fuck you wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. Hyunjae - “Is that a challenge?”

[[ car sex, finger fucking, you challenge hyunjae he can't make you cum, guess who cums lolol, freinds to lovers vibes ]]

“I bet you can’t even make me cum,” You chuckle, tossing one of your french fries at him, grabbing another and shoving it into your mouth.

“Is that a challenge?” He cocks his head, “If you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do is ask.”

He picks up the fry off his lap and shoves it into his mouth.

“Shut up,” You roll your eyes, reaching for your drink from the cup holder, you take a sip cleansing your palette, “I’m just saying. It’s like impossible, everyone always talks about these mind-blowing orgasms and yeah sex feels good but I’m always so in my fucking head that I can’t cum or something. And if I do, it’s because I had to do it.”

“I’ll do it,” Hyunjae challenges, “If I can’t make you cum, I’ll buy you dinner for a week.”

“Mmm, two weeks,” You smirk.

“Fine, but if I win you have to do anything I want.”

The realization hits, holy fuck you’re going to fuck your best friend? You’ve known Hyunjae most of your life, and you were both so close that it wasn’t even surprising anymore when people would question if you were both a couple. You’ve never thought about him like this… That was a lie, occasionally you would steal a glance or have a question if you liked him. But that was normal…right?

You take another sip of your coke and set it back in the cupholder, “So… uhm now?”

Hyunjae chuckled, “You don’t sound so confident now.”

Scoffing, you set your drink in the cupholder, “Back seat? Or here? I won’t lose to you.”

“Purposely not getting off is against the rules,” Hyunjae groaned, feigning annoyance as he reached for his phone and began to scroll, “Backseat.”

You nod. Opening up the passenger side door and climbing into the backseat. The spot that Hyunjae parked to eat was always abandoned so worrying about someone seeing you both wasn’t a thought in your mind. You feel a little anxious as you wait for him to climb into the backseat with you.

Hyunjae puts on a playlist that’s familiar to you, it’s one you both made together combining your favourite songs before he gets out of the driver’s seat and opens up the back door. You adjust yourself, leaning up against the door, your head against the cold window. He kneels onto the seat, closing the door before he crawls between your legs.

“Limits?” Hyunjae questioned, resting his hand on the top of your thigh.

You shake your head. Your stomach all of a sudden doing flips as his hand dragged up your thighs slowly. This is really happening… Holy fuck. This was really happening.

His hands drag up your thighs. You’re both silent, Hyunjae grabs the waistband of your pants, dragging them down while you lift your hips. He pulls your pants down to your ankles. He’s so gentle with you. You bite your lip as his hands grip your inner thighs, spreading your legs apart.

You watch him, taking in the way his expression changes… The way his eyes stare at you like he’s going to consume you. You’ve never seen this side of him before. He lowers his head, kissing in between your thighs, he looks up at you as his hand begins to massage you. You gasp, tilting your head back and looking away.

It’s teasing the way he touches you so slowly. It’s driving you insane.

“Hyunjae…” You whine. Reaching out to weave your fingers in your hair.

“You’re so pretty,” He coos, placing a wet kiss on the inside of your thigh, “Be good for me, hmm?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, your fingers tightening in his hair and tugging.

He chuckles, brushing his hand over your hole. Circling it with two fingers, it has you jerking forward. He pulled back his hand long enough to spit onto his fingers. Smearing the spit at your entrance and pushing in. Sinking his fingers in knuckle-deep. You can’t help but gasp.

“So tight,” Hyunjae breathes, pulling his fingers back out and in, slowly.

You can feel them inside of you and you can't help but clench around his fingers. He smirks, lifting his head to watch the pleasure on your face. He pumps his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace, quick jabs that make you moan. It sounds so needy and fake the way his fingers have you biting at your lip in an attempt to stop your noises from being so loud.

Why was Hyunjae having this effect on you?

Normally you were always so in your head, but right now with each stroke of his fingers, you can feel yourself slipping, succumbing to the pleasure that pooled between your thighs.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, “God. I want your cock, please.”

Hyunjae tilts his head, looking at you with excitement in his eyes. He sits back, undoing his pants to pull out his cock. God, you hate the way your mouth waters staring at his cock. He strokes it a few times and it has your thighs trembling with desperation.

“Lay down a bit,” Hyunjae says, “You might hit your head.”

You nod, lowering yourself on the seat until your head is flush with the seat. The anticipation is killing you, the way he crawls in between your thighs, one hand on his cock and the other holding your leg up. He presses his cock to your entrance and slowly pushes forward.

The stretch has your lips parting, it feels so much better than his fingers, so deep and pressing against your walls in all the right places. You feel dizzy, your cheeks burning up. It’s like heatstroke. He falls forward, his chest against yours, he puts a hand above your head, cradling you as he begins to fuck into you, each thrust harder and deeper. You have your eyes closed, allowing the waves of pleasure to take over.

You think about how his arm is above your head, protecting you from hitting your head against the door with each thrust and it’s game over. Clenching around him. Panting and gasping for air, your heart racing.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Hyunjae moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck, his lips against your neck.

“Shut up,” You whimper, it sounds so pathetic on the verge of tears from how good it felt, you just wanted him to be quiet, to stop having this effect on you.

“You sound so pretty.”

Hyunjae moans in your ears, it’s so fucking hot. Your stomach twists and your thighs tremble. It’s so hot and sweaty, he’s suffocating you with his body weight on top of you. Fucking into you at the right angle, you whimper, your entire body trembling as you cum.

“Fuck…Fuck…” You hiss as he continues to thrust inside of you.

Your hands are on his back, your fingers clutching his sweater tightly trying to ground yourself as he continues to milk out your pleasure with each thrust, you can’t take it anymore, squirming with each stroke from how sensitive you feel. You feel like you’re seeing stars, your eyes fluttering with each pulse.

“I’m gonna cum,” He moans, trying to pull himself out.

But you grab him, wrapping your leg around his hips and holding him in place, tightening around his pulsing cock. You can feel cum inside of you and it’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt, you feel like you’ve cum again. Everything is throbbing and your heart is racing like you just ran a fucking marathon.

“Shit,” You groan, only just realizing what you’ve done… Letting the heat of the moment get to you, your thighs trembling.

“Ugh,” Hyunjae mumbles, trying to lift himself up, he looks at you with apologetic eyes even though you were the one who had held him captive, “I tried to pull out.”

You grab his face and lift your head, kissing him. You kiss him until you can’t breathe, throwing your head back into the seat, “Guess, you won.”

Juyeon - “Are you sure you can handle me?”

[[ college au, sub juyeon, enemies to lover type of vibe, heavy make-out, pet names ( kitten ), hand-job, you find out juyeon’s weakness, aftercare ]]

– You don’t know exactly how it happened, but here you were in the bedroom of your enemy… The guy who has always placed first in everything, always making you come second. He looks tense reading through the textbook, fidgeting with the pen in his hand.

“I can feel you staring,” Juyeon groans, setting his book on the table and glaring up at you, “What?”

“It’s just weird,” You lean forward into the table, smiling, “I just assumed you were some kind of android but your room is actually normal, and look no charging station.”

“Ha…So funny,” Juyeon shakes his head, “This project is worth 30% of our grade, so can you please focus.”

“We’ve been working for hours already… I’m hungry.”

Juyeon rolls his eyes, “Fine. We can take a break but we have to at least get an outline done tonight, so if you want to be stuck here with me longer be my guest.” He gets up from the small table in his room and grabs his phone that’s on his bed, “I’ve got ramen or we can order something.”

“Ramen,” You hum, standing up and stretching your arms above your head. You moan at the stretch, it felt so good after sitting cramped up at the table for the last three hours. But Juyeon glances up at you and he looked flustered.

God, he was so weird.

He cooked the ramen while you walked around the living room, snickering at the family photos on the walls, he looked like such a dork as a child. He’s silent. Back turned to you as he mixes in the seasoning packets.

It smells so good, your mouth begins to water as your nose carries you to the smell. You lean your head into the stove, looking at the bubbling pot of ramen that smelled so spicy and delicious. Ugh, it was going to taste so good.

“You might get burned.”

“Aweh, you're worried about me,” You tease, bumping your shoulder into his playfully

He jumps back a bit, looking at you with those same terrified eyes from earlier but this time you take offense. You barely even touched him and yet he was acting like you were some disease. God, he’s always been so full of himself, constantly acting like he’s better than everyone just because he’s handsome and smart.

“Jeez, don’t have to get your panties in a twist, I was just joking,” You scoff, your lip curling as you tut your tongue to signify your distaste for you, “I know you don’t like me, but we have to work on this project multiple times a week, so can we at least be friends?”

“I don’t,” Juyeon shook his head, “I don’t dislike you.”

“Could have fooled me,” You say, leaning back into the counter and crossing your arms over your chest.

Juyeon turned off the stovetop and lifted the pot, setting it down on a coaster on the counter, pulling open a drawer and grabbing out a second pair of chopsticks and holding them out to you. You grumble, stepping forward and taking them. You both stand in silence eating the ramen out of the pot. It was as delicious as it smelled, and the spice was at the perfect level. But after a few bites, Juyeon puts his chopsticks down on the counter.

“I’m gonna go continue reading, clean up when you’re done.”

You don’t get a word in before he’s gone, you’re too hungry to mind, gobbling down the food and rinsing the pot out in the sink. When you head back to the room, it’s obvious how pink Juyeon’s cheeks have turned and his lips are red.

“You don’t like spicy food, do you?” You question, sitting down at the table.

He shakes his head.

“Then why did you let me pick that one?”

“You wanted it,” He shrugs, staring down at the textbook in his lap.

You notice it’s lower than usual, sprawled out over his lap like he’s trying to hide something and the pieces are starting to make sense… No, there was no way…

“Juyeon… Are you okay?” You coo.

“What,” He looks up at you, his eyes wide, “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

You crawl towards him and you can watch the way his expression falters and it’s so painfully clear. You snatch the book out of his lap and you gasp at what he’s been hiding. He’s turned on, sweatpants tented and his cheeks flush a deeper pink. You toss the book onto the table and he begins to stumble on his words.

“It’s not what it looks like,” He whimpers, “It just happened, I promise.”

“Aweh, It’s not from me,” You pout, feigning innocence as you reach out, brushing your fingers over his swollen cock through his pants.

He moans and you stare up at him. There has never been a time in your life when you could beat Juyeon, he was always smarter and stronger in every competition. But right now it looked like he was about to cry just at you touching his cock. And it was a good feeling…

“I can help you,” You offer, leaning forward and lowering your face closer to his crotch, “Do you want that?” You look up at him through your lashes and he’s squirming, “I can take care of you, baby.”

“P-please,” He whines, "Are you sure you can handle me?"

You apply pressure, circling your palm over his bulge, resting your head in his lap as you look up at him. Watching his expression, watching as he falls apart and it brings a smile to your face.

“Feel good?” You ask, reaching for the string of his sweatpants and pulling on it until it comes undone.

You pull them down enough that his cock is now resting against his shirt, it’s so swollen and red.

“You poor thing,” You gasp, curling your fingers around his length, “Let me kiss it better.”

You’ve barely begun to stroke him and he’s already squirming around, his lips parting and moaning so sweetly. He’s such a fucking wreck already.

“Call me your kitten.”

You perk up, running your tongue over the slit in his cock. You kiss the tip softly, before looking at him.

“You’re such a pretty kitten. So eager and well behaved…”

You lick the inside of your palm and use it to circle the tip of his cock, massaging him while you stroke his length. You sit up, your eyes washing over him. Watching the way he jerks, his entire body trembling while he’s panting hard.

“Are you going to cum, kitten?”

You can’t believe the effect such a nickname has on him, throwing his head back as his cock pulsed in your hand. You continue to massage him, using his cum as lubricant until he’s whining and begging for you to stop.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Juyeon says sadly, You've only just noticed that he’s been crying.

“It’s our little secret,” You promise him, “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

You head to the kitchen, searching around for a bowl and cloth. You fill it with warm water and return to his room. And he hasn’t moved an inch, he’s just staring at you like some lost puppy. You kneel in front of him, squeezing out the excess water and cleaning up the mess you’ve made.

“All better,” You smile, tilting your head, “Wanna finish our outline? I’ll order some takeout.”

He nods slowly. But you still don’t feel like you’ve done enough. You set the bowl of water aside and fall into him. Nuzzling your head into his chest. You can hear the way his heart is racing, you lift your head and kiss his cheek quickly.

“You were so good,” You praise, ruffling his hair and smiling brightly.

It seems to do the trick. He smiles brightly, “You don’t think I’m weird?”

You shake your head, “Is it weird that I liked being in control?”

Juyeon shook his head.

“Good, we agree on something for once,” You smile, pinching his cheek and cooing before you sit up again, “Okay, back to studying. As much as round two could be fun, I don’t want to be here all night.”

Kevin - “I don’t like to be ignored.”

[[ hard dom, hickeys/love bites, brat tamer, orgasm denial, punishment, spanking, manhandling, aftercare ]]

“Babe,” Kevin calls you from the kitchen.

You groan, clicking your mouse trying to focus on your game. You’ll answer him in just a minute, you continue clicking. Your entire team is in a raid and you can’t exactly pause. Minutes later and you’ve completely forgotten that your boyfriend has even called.

You’re sitting in your game chair, one knee tucked to your chest and you’re leaned forward, so fixated on the screen that you didn't notice that Kevin had come into your office. He watched for a while, arms crossed over his chest. Pondering what he should do to teach you a lesson.

Because truthfully. You knew he was preparing dinner and you were instructed to not play a round until after you had eaten. So, you were in the wrong. Just as you were about to beat the boss, your world began to spin, physically. You had no choice but to let go of the mouse but it didn’t stop you from trying to turn the chair back around. But Kevin overpowered you and he didn’t look happy.

“What the fuck,” You groan, trying to look back at the computer.

Kevin simpers. Reaching over and pressing the power button.

Your jaw drops… Typical gamer rage immediately took over as you began to cuss him out, you reached out trying to hit your fists into his chest. But he grabs your wrists and pins them onto the arms of the chair.

“You done?” He questions, his eyes dragging over you.

“I was coming,” You huff, glaring up at him.

“I don’t like to be ignored,” Kevin breathes… His grip tightens around your wrists, “And most importantly, I don’t like to be ignored over a video game you were told not to play yet.”

“It was just one round,” You pout, and your demeanour softens. Batting your eyelashes playfully, “I’m sorry…”

“Nice try,” Kevin coos, leaning in and biting down into your neck. He sucks the skin into his mouth. Making sure that he’d leave a mark.

It takes you by surprise, the sudden burn of his teeth sinking into your neck. It’s so hot and wet, the pain radiating down into your chest. You whine, squirming around in the chair but there is no way you’re going to escape your punishment.

“I’m sorry,” You whimper, squeezing your thighs together as he kisses up your neck.

“I’m going to teach you some manners, and since you didn’t come when you were called you won’t be allowed to cum tonight, you hear me? Use that naughty mouth of yours to tell me when you’re close”

“No-no,” You gasp, trying to get away from him, “I promise, I’ll behave.” If behaving was that easy, you wouldn't be in this situation.

“Too late, sweetheart,” Kevin simpers, caressing your cheek sweetly before he grabs you by the hair, dragging you out of the chair and up against the wall.

—

Kevin grabs the back of your thigh, lifting and guiding his cock to your entrance so effortlessly, he fucks into you, his hips flush with your ass in seconds. His cock reaches so deep it has you seeing stars. You can’t take it anymore.

You feel like you’re going to pass out, so exhausted from nearly coming multiple times already, he knows your body well, and he knows when you’re about to come. Even before you can whimper that you’re close. He’s already pulling away. You’ve almost come at least a dozen times already, and he’s still going. Fucking you in every position. Your body was littered with red marks.

Between your legs was so numb, swollen and dripping in your pleasure.

“Aweh, are you going to cum sweetheart?” He simpers.

Fuck. He was so hot.

His bangs were pushed back, sweat forming on his hairline… His muscles were so defined, abs slicked in sweat. He gives one more thrust before he’s pulling out again and drops your leg.

You can’t help but crumble to the floor.

Your thighs are trembling, unable to hold yourself up and you can’t stop panting. You squeeze your thighs together but you’re immediately scolded.

“I-I can’t,” You whimper, falling forward and shoving your hands between your thighs to touch yourself.

Kevin tuts, “Still breaking rules? Guess you haven’t learned any manners yet.” He sinks his hands into your hair, tugging you back… You stare up at him with pleading eyes as his hand connects with your cheek. He simpers.

You’re left whimpering as you raise your hands in the air and begin to cry harder. The tears are so hot as they stream down your face and bead down your chest. You began to blubber out apologies. You feel dizzy and hot and you can’t help but gasp for air between each sob.

“There you go,” Kevin smiles, crouching down to caress your cheek sweetly. His thumb wipes away the tears, “Are you going to behave?”

You nod your head. Desperate to please him… to prove that you can really behave.

He kisses you so roughly. Lips mashing together in such an unmatched tempo, his tongue running over your lip before he’s pulling away again. You stretch out your neck, whining at his absence.

“We’ll end here then,” Kevin says while standing up, “I think you’ve learned your lesson.”

He goes to step away but you reach out for him, grabbing onto his thigh and clinging to him like a lost child. You couldn’t bear to be left alone, you needed him.

“More,” You whimper, looking up at him through your wet lashes.

“So broken and mindless,” Kevin coos, petting your head sweetly, “Such a pretty cock whore for me...”

You’re so fucking broken, a crumpling mess as he picks you off the ground and tosses you into your gaming chair. You’re blubbering incoherent words as he pushes his cock back inside of you. His hands are on your hips, pulling you back into him like you’re some toy for his pleasure.

“You’re so tight,” He breathes sharply, hissing at the way you squeeze around his cock.

With each thrust, you can feel yourself about to explode… You’re so sensitive, trying to pull away but you’re no match to his strength. Hips burning from the welts forming under his nails as he holds onto you tightly, pulling your ass back into him. Slamming his hips forward at the same time.

You’re going to come.

You can’t tell him.

Everything is moving so fast. Cuming on his cock, your insides constricting and swallowing his cock deep inside of you. You begin to tremble and shake, screaming into the chair as you finally cum and it’s too much. He cums with you. Pulsing back and forth as he cums deep inside of you.

He grabs your ass, exhaling. You both just sit there panting, trying to catch your breath.

You couldn’t form a cohesive thought if your life depended on it.

“The ramen is probably gross by now,” Kevin sighs, running his hand over your back, “It’s not too late, if we shower quickly we could go for a drive and get fast food.”

You hum, sitting up slowly. His hands are on your waist, helping you get up from the chair and he continues to support you all the way to the bathroom.

“I want a milkshake,” You pout, leaning into the wall as he gets the shower ready.

He chuckles, pulling you into a hug. Kevin kisses your forehead sweetly, “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Your heart swelled. Stomach fluttering as your mind replayed the last hour or torture you had just endured… Kevin was so hot. The way he could take charge and fuck you senseless, but in the next breath he was praising and spoiling you, always giving in to you. And that’s why you were always going to be his perfect brat. New - “Don’t underestimate me.”

[[ humiliation ( he catches you touching yourself), lots of derogatory terms, looks innocent but is fucking mean and hot , rough sex ]]

Sharing an apartment with Chanhee was exhausting. The nights were always filled with loud moans echoing through the walls, sometimes it was so hard to not touch yourself to them… So hard to not close your eyes and let your imagination run wild. Which always left things awkward while you were getting ready for classes in the morning, with him sitting at the breakfast bar with a bowl of cereal like he wasn’t up all night. You were beginning to question if he was a vampire that never slept and had ungodly stamina… You two didn’t talk much. Chanhee was rarely home and when he was there was usually someone occupying his attention.

So you don’t think much about it when you come home, kicking your shoes off and rushing to your room.

You’ve been horny all day, squirming and throbbing between your legs for most of your last class. And you don’t know why, everything was just turning you on and you needed to touch yourself now. Your mind was only fixated on the need to touch yourself that you just fell into your bed, face shoved into the blankets as you reach between your thighs, slipping your hand into your pants and massaging yourself.

Suffocating in your moans, you’re so close… All the pent-up frustration was finally about to be released after so long.

“Cute,” Chanhee coos, leaning up against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, “I thought I heard you…”

Your stomach drops.

“Get out,” You whimper, pulling your hand from your pants and dying mentally in your bed. You don’t even want to look at him, the shame taking over.

“You put on a show like some desperate whore and then tell me to get out?” Chanhee scoffs, “You’ve turned me on, now how are you going to fix it?”

You sit up, grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it at him, “I’m not a whore! It’s not my fault you moan so fucking loud all fucking night, it’s all I can think about!”

He catches the pillow, his eyes darkening as he steps toward you. You never thought someone so pretty could look so terrifying… You're frozen, like a deer in headlights. Just watching as he sets the pillow back on your bed.

“So, you think of me?” He questions, simpering.

Of course, that’s all he would hear out of that sentence, what a psycho…

“Ugh, get out,” You groan. Ready to die from your embarrassment, if only you had just closed the door you wouldn't be in this situation.

“Make me,” Chanhee challenges.

You scoff, getting up defensively to push him out but you’re overpowered in an instant, thrown back into the bed and Chanhee is crawling on top of you. And he’s staring at you with such ravenous eyes. You squirm. He grabs the hand that you just had in between your thighs, bringing it up to his lips. You can’t help but watch, helplessly pinned to the mattress. He smirks, guiding your fingers into your mouth.

“Chanhee,” You whisper…

Your stomach twists into knots as he sucks on your fingers, tasting you. He removes your fingers from his mouth and guides your hand to his crotch. Pressing your hand down into his bulge.

“I’m so turned on,” Chanhee hums, “Watching you touch yourself so carelessly, so desperate– fuck, you looked so hot…”

He has you completely wrapped around his finger… And he felt big, like really big. Fuck, you wanted to be fucked so bad. Who cares if he was your roommate.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, massaging your hand into his cock… You feel good, your mind looping on the fact that this was all because of you...

“Don’t underestimate me,” Chanhee breathes, diving forward and crashing his lips against yours.

The kiss is deep and messy like Chanhee is trying to devour you. You can’t keep up. You’re both messily stripping off your clothes. Tumbling and rolling on the bed, kissing each other so desperately. It feels unreal when he’s between his thighs, stroking his cock before he lines up with your entrance.

You’re fucking mewling for him, begging for him to just fuck you already but he just keeps teasing you, running the head of his cock in between your thighs and laughing at your desperation.

Chanhee always looked so innocent in your eyes, beyond having the sex drive of a rabbit, he seemed so gentle. But in reality, he was so mean and devious. Tearing you apart piece by piece and taking what he wanted. Until finally his cock was inside of you, stretching you open until you were begging him to slow down.

He was so big, there was no way you could take all of him... You were already so full and he was staring at you with these eyes that made your heart race. He grabbed you by the hips and pulled you into him, his cock penetrated deeper than you’ve ever taken before. You lift your head, gasping and trying to claw onto his shoulder.

But he’s laughing and cooing at you.

You throw your head back into the mattress, moaning and panting as he fucks into you. Slamming his cock so deep with every thrust.

It hurts so good.

On the verge of tears, he dives in again. His lips melding with yours and devouring your noises until he’s pulling back again. Grabbing you by the hips and flipping you over like some weightless doll, you’re on your stomach. Your face shoved into the mattress and his hands are on your waist, forcing your ass in the air as he pushed his cock into you again.

The sound of slapping skin and moans fill the room. Your spine aches as he pins you into the mattress, all of his weight pushing you down. Every thrust has you going numb, your insides finally getting used to Chanhee’s length and you're chasing your high. The steady rhythm builds up, and your drooling into your bedsheets.

You’re clutching the sheets and you're trying to push back your hips, so desperate for him.

“Such a perfect cock slut,” Chanhee teases, holding his cock deep inside of you as he reaches for your hair, pulling your head up, “Look at me.”

You turn your head and he shoves his thumb in your mouth, holding you, forcing you to watch as he fucks into you. He tips his head back, groaning so roughly… His chest is slicked in sweat and you cum on the spot. Unable to hold back as you clench around him, trembling as he continues to fuck into you.

You’re so swollen and sensitive, but he continues. Ungodly stamina was an understatement with the way that he didn’t seem to slow down, thrusting in and out of you until he was falling into you. Kissing your shoulder blades as he cums inside of you.

“So good,” He praises. Both of his hands are on your shoulders as he kisses your spine.

Every inch of your body aches, but the soft sensation of his lips kissing you so sweetly has you melting into the mattress like putty. So exhausted that sleep was all you could think about, so blissed out and content. Chanhee seems to have the same thought. Falling into the space beside you, draping his arm over your back.

“You’re never getting rid of me,” Chanhee whispers, tugging you into him.

“Shut up,” You grumble, wigging back into him before drifting off to sleep.

What have you gotten yourself into… Q - “Wait until I get home…”

[[ riding, power bottom reader, you send nudes while he's in an important work meeting ]]

You stared at the text that flashed on your screen, you were giddy thinking about the damage you must have caused while Changmin was in his meeting this afternoon. It wasn’t your fault that you were home alone on your day off, after all, he had promised he would be home today.

But of course, there was always some kind of surprise meeting.

You were a little upset, so you did what you knew best. You played dirty… Pulling out some of your best clothes and dressed up for the camera, taking a good collection of sensual photos. In one of them you’re wearing one of Changmin’s favorite dress shirts, the unbuttons undone and exposing your skin so tastefully.

You send them all one by one… Watching as the delivered mark changed to read. He ignored you. You had expected that, but you still pout and continue to send more. Sending them all one by one slowly, watching as the text bubble appears and disappears.

Darling: Just wait until I get home...

It has you completely riled up, dancing around the house with your favourite music playing softly in the background. You can see it now, him walking through the door with those lustful eyes. You’re about to get the attention you deserve. You’re still wearing his dress shirt and a pair of black underwear, the contrast of black and white had you feeling so pretty as you danced in the mirror freshening yourself up.

You hear the beeping at the door. Your heart begins to race as you step out of the bathroom and watch Changmin walk through the door, dropping his briefcase onto the floor and tugging at his tie and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. His eyes meet yours.

“Darling,” You coo happily, walking towards the entryway.

He shakes his head, his eyes darkening as they wash over you, he sighs… “You think you’re funny, huh?”

You pretend to ponder the thought, smiling, “Kind of.”

“I tried to ignore my phone, but you see someone just kept texting over and over, completely bypassing my do not disturb setting. The CEO of the company we're trying to work with urged that we pause so I could check my phone because it must be important…” Changmin explains while unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling his sleeves up, "Do you even understand what you did?"

"Did you like it?”

He growls, frustrated as he pushes you up against the wall. His nose shoved into your neck as he breathes you in. Hands-on your hips as he lets his desires take over, turning him into the hungry animal that you wanted; that you deserved.

His cock was already hard, rubbing against your leg.

Changmin grabs the back of your thighs, lifting you off the ground. You wrap your legs around his waist, draping your arms over his shoulders. He pressed his full weight up against you, pinning you into the wall. He kisses you softly, teasingly flicking his tongue over your lips. He kisses down your neck, playfully nipping and biting your collarbone before he exhales.

“Wanna ride you,” You coo so innocently, like some love-sick dove calling for your mate.

Changmin carries you to the bedroom while you giggle, your hands weaving into his hair, your lips against his sensitive neck. One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you’re falling, landing into the pile of blankets and you feel your stomach drop. Changmin crawls over you slowly. A hand on your hip and the other sliding against your stomach.

You reach for the buttons of his shirt, undoing them as fast as you can and pushing the shirt off his shoulders. He sits back taking it off the rest of the way before he’s falling back into you, his hungry lips on yours again. This time the kiss is deeper and suffocating. Your hands are on his belt, blindly pulling at the leather strap until it comes undone.

“So needy,” Changmin groans. Sitting back on his knees, he begins to tug your underwear past your hips and down your thighs until he’s tossing them to the floor.

You sit up, pushing him back onto the bed and crawl into his lap. You reach in between your thighs, grabbing onto his cock and guiding yourself down onto it. You’re impatient and demanding. He groans, jaw tightening as you drop yourself. Taking all of him, you moan, circling your hips and leaning forward. You kiss him, your tongue slipping into his mouth as you lift and drop your hips.

It feels so good, taking control and using his cock to fuck yourself the way you want.

Changmin has his hands on your waist holding onto you as you sit up, putting both of your hands onto his chest to stabilize yourself as you ride him. Rocking your hips back and forth, lifting and dropping…

“You feel so good,” You whine, “So big and thick..” You feel yourself tighten at your own words, throwing your head back, “So fucking hot inside of me.”

Changmin has his hands on your hips, holding you in place and fucking into you until he’s panting and gasping for air. His stomach tightens as he throws his head back. His nails digging into your hips.

“Ugh, fuck… fuck…”

You can feel the way he pulses inside of you, his cock twitching and filling you as you continue to ride him. Rocking your hips as the pleasure builds and builds until you’re on the verge of coming and Changmin can’t stop trembling, overstimulating as you continue to ride him until you’ve finished. Your thighs squeeze his hips as you fall into his chest.

You cum.

And it feels just as good as you had hoped, pulsing at every movement. Panting hard into Changmins chest. He wraps his arms around you and you both stay like that for a while.

“You’re such a brat,” Changmin sighs, rubbing your back.

“You love it,” You hum. Basking in his warmth with your cheek pressed against his chest. Haknyeon - “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

[[ ceo/intern au, submission, soft dom, marking/hickeys, bondage/rope, neck kisses, finger fucking, subspace , lots of praise ]]

You’re nervous.

And understandably so considering your boss has just finished tying your arms behind your back with the blue jute rope that you had picked out a few nights ago when you had first discussed the deal together. And you’re beginning to feel the effects as he sits in the chair across from you.

You loved your work, loved the company and your boss. He was such a sweet and gentle person, you would do anything for him. In your worst, he was always there cheering you on and though he had his moments of being stern, he was a caring person that wanted his team to thrive.

In every way, you owed your life to him because you were finally living the dream and waking up every morning with a reason, a purpose. You would do anything for him.

So, when you found out how stressed he was it was only natural that you asked your therapist during one of your sessions about a hypothetical way to help somebody's stress. She listed many things. And you tried a few of them, bringing him herbal teas and offering to work overtime to help with keeping him company late into the evenings. But the bags under his eyes only grew darker and darker from the lack of sleep.

Haknyeon had choked on his coffee when you had first offered to be his submissive. Staining his dress shirt as he jumped forward in his seat. He got up and closed the office door, staring at you with such utter disbelief that you had even just suggested a thing. You begged, explaining a few of the things you had read and he seemed to listen. Nodding his head with his arms crossed over his chest, leaned up against his desk.

That day would always be imprinted in your mind. The day your boss said yes to becoming your dominant and the day you realized you were a little more than just thankful for him.

And now here you are. Heart racing and you know deep down this is more than just some office crush, more than just your admiration for him. You watch as he unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows.

“Safe word?” Haknyeon said, leaning forward into the hand on his thigh.

“Ocean.”

“Good. I’m going to touch you now but the second you say the safe word everything will stop, okay.”

“Okay…” You pause for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts, “Master.”

Haknyeon stands up, stepping towards you and you can feel the butterflies… The way his shoes click on the floor and the scent of clean linen and sandalwood burning from the candles on the table. The scene is set.

Ready…3…2…1…

Action.

Haknyeon tilts your chin up, his eyes washing over your exposed body so slowly it has your heart racing, feeling insecure as he takes in every inch of your skin. You try to look away but he tuts softly, turning your head more to look up at him.

You watch as his demeanour completely changes, the softness in his eyes exchanged with this look that makes you feel so small and uneasy. He looked like a completely different person, eye-fucking you as his hand lowers, tickling your skin as he crouched down in front of you.

Two fingers trailing down your stomach and down the curve of your hips, his eyes following the hand that is now between your thighs.

“I wanna kiss you,” Haknyeon whispers, “Everywhere…”

He leans in, kissing your shoulder softly… His lips tag you with invisible marks until he’s made his way to your neck. He slips his hand between your thighs, massaging you and sinking his teeth into your neck at the same time.

You gasp.

Your vision blurs as you blink slowly, your head spinning as you slip further and further out of control. He continues to bite at your neck, sucking and kissing until it’s so tender you swear you have to be bleeding by now. He pulls back. His attention was now directed to your thighs once more as he spread your legs apart, enjoying the view as he touched you so teasingly. His fingers slicked with your pleasure.

Haknyeon's shoulders slump, exhaling. He’s falling into the role easier than he thought, touching you so slowly and basking in the moment of worshipping you slowly. His lips meet your skin again, kissing along your chest as he slips two fingers inside of you. Pumping them in and out so slowly, listening to the way your breathing has changed, the way your chest rises and falls with the push of his fingers.

“You’re so pretty,” He praises. He caresses your cheek, leaning in to kiss you.

The kiss is so soft at first, deepening gradually as he swallows down every soft whimper and moan you make until you’re trembling so hard, squirming and trying to close your legs to escape his touch.

“I want to fuck you…” Haknyeon says, and it almost sounds like he’s begging for your approval, like he’s so desperate and unable to stop himself, “On your knees.”

You do as he says, tucking your legs underneath you and getting into a kneeling position. He helps support you with your arms tied behind your back. He gets behind you and you can hear his belt being undone and you’re already squeezing your thighs together.

Haknyeon was going to fuck you.

Your boss was going to fuck you… On the floor of his living room, with your arms tied behind your back… You felt like you were floating, barely comprehending the way he pushed you forward, your chest pressed against the floor and your ass presented in the air. Your eyes roll as he pushes himself inside of you, stretching you open, taking him inch by inch. It feels like it’s never-ending. He feels so warm, pulsing inside of you…

Haknyeon takes your hand and you grab onto his tightly, grounding yourself as he begins to move in a slow push and pull. Basking in the way you feel around his cock, so warm and tight. He tips his head back groaning.

The roughness in his voice has you seeing stars... Eyes closed as you let the waves of pleasure wash over you. Moaning and crying as he fucked into you, pulling you under the current of his lust. You’re so blissed out.

“So tight,” He praises, “You’re doing so well, so perfect, just for me.”

The praise loops in your mind.

So good…So perfect…

Drool dripping from your lips, glossy and swollen…Your cheek is wet. And you feel so overwhelmed, tears forming in your eyes as the pleasure takes over. The final wave pulls you under and holds you hostage, as you whimper into the floor. Crying out for Haknyeon so sweetly.

He answers your call, praising you… Telling you how beautiful you are, how sweet and perfect… Made just for him. Time escapes you, unable to keep track of how long Haknyeon fucks you, pulling you into his lap and fucking you from this angle. He’s surprised how gone you are, drooling and moaning, barely able to hold yourself up.

It’s exactly what Haknyeon needed. All of the stress washes away with each sweet moan you sing into his ear.

He holds you close to him as he cums, his body melting into yours, panting and breathing heavily. Until he’s untying your arms and picking you up. He carries you to the bedroom, wiping your body with a warm cloth before he crawls into the bed with you. Holding you against his chest and you both fall asleep.

Haknyeon sleeps through the night, and it’s the first time in months that he’s woken up to the sun and not the usual late-night darkness. Your head is on his chest and you're holding his waist… You were his insomnia cure. Sunwoo - “Now that I got your attention…”

[[ cliché brothers bestfriend, minor violence ( he protects you ), he's so soft and hot ngl, like hear me out sunwoo would be the ultimate simp and this just fits him so well ]]

It’s not that you haven’t noticed his attempts, it’s that you had dodged them so well that he must have thought you didn’t notice. His efforts were only getting more and more drastic and bold.

But Sunwoo was your brother's best friend, they had been friends most of your life and you weren’t about to get involved in that kind of a mess.

Of course, that’s until Sunwoo has a guy that has been pestering you all night by the collar and he’s punching him hard. Until he lets go and the guy topples to the floor. Everyone is watching silently, all confused and curious. But you…Fuck, that was so hot.

“Fucking creep,” Sunwoo spits, his cheeks are red and you can tell that he’s holding himself back, “Think of this pain every time you get the urge to be a fucking perv.” And he kicks the guy right in the crotch.

The guy lurches forward, holding his cock in his hand. Whimpering and whining on the ground, his face bloody and already bruising. Sunwoo’s lip curls in disgust as he turns around and grabs you by the arm roughly. You’re silent as he drags you away from the party and towards his car.

“What are you doing?” You finally question as you get into the passenger seat.

“I’m taking you home,” Sunwoo says as he turns the ignition, “I don’t trust you alone. Why are you even at a party like this?”

You smile nervously, “Well. It was my friend's idea and I’m supposed to be staying at her place tonight, so I kind of told my brother that I was staying with her… But we planned on staying out all night, but uhm she kind of left with a dude.”

“Are you kidding me, y/n?” Sunwoo scoffs. “You’re an adult already, why are you lying?”

“You know how my brother is,” You whine, “I don’t get why he always has to be so goddamn protective all the time, it’s normal to be adventurous in college.”

Sunwoo sighs, “You can stay at my place and I’ll keep your secret. And y/n?”

“Mmm?”

“Get better friends.”

You scoff, “Like that’s possible. Can we get food?”

The drive is the most fun you’ve had in a while, listening to Sunwoo’s loud music while you fill your face with fries. Watching the blur of streetlights and light rain that pelts the windshield while you drive back to the apartment.

At a stop light, you notice how bloody Sunwoo’s knuckles are and for some reason it has you squirming in your seat… Has Sunwoo always been this attractive?

He catches you staring and you can’t look away, staring at him like it’s the first time you were really seeing him. The lights flash green and he pulls his eyes away to go and you watch the way he drives, it’s so ridiculously attractive and it was driving you insane.

You flop down onto his bed, moaning at how squishy and comfortable it is.

“Your apartment is nice,” You say, sitting up and looking around his room. It’s not what you were expecting at all.

Sunwoo is standing across the room staring at you and you start to feel a little awkward under his stare.

You knew he liked you and he was always making passes behind your brother's back so you could only imagine what he was thinking right now. Most of all…You were going insane because you knew he would do anything for you. And there was too much power in knowing that if you asked him to fuck you, he’d been across the room in a second to touch you.

The thought gives you butterflies and you look down at the bed.

“Does your hand hurt?”

“A little,” Sunwoo confesses, looking down at his bruising knuckles, “I’m sorry if that was a lot. I just saw the look on your face as he touched you and I lost it.”

“No-no,” You shake your head, “It was… uhm really cool.”

“Cool?” Sunwoo chuckles, “You flatter me..”

He shakes his head, repeating the word 'cool' as he turns around and starts to pull open drawers and dig through his dresser. He sets them beside you on the bed.

“You can uhm shower and put these on, and you can sleep in the bed tonight.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?” He simpers, his eyes doing a slow swipe over you.

You shake your head. Grabbing the stack of clothes and excusing yourself to go and shower.

Sunwoo is sitting in the living room when you come out of the shower and suddenly you feel a little self-conscious wearing his black t-shirt and sweats. He looks like he’s prepared a blanket and pillow on the couch. He’s wearing a pair of sweats and he’s taken his shirt off. Your eyes fall onto his chest, it’s so obvious that you’re staring.

“Sunwoo,” You whisper... It’s almost a whimper, your face feels like it’s on fire, “Sleep with me tonight….”

It’s so bold…possibly stupid. But you don’t care, he gets up off the couch and in a second his hands are cupping your face and his plush lips are pressed into yours. He kisses you roughly, and in a matter of seconds, your lips are already aching from the force that he crashed into you. His hands were holding you so tight like you’d disappear. It was so full of passion and desperation, for years he had only ever dreamed of being able to kiss you.

The next thing you know you’re both making your way to the bedroom, taking turns tossing eachother into walls and removing your clothes until you’re naked and being pushed into the bed. Sunwoo is on top of you in seconds. His lips against your thighs, kissing every inch of you as his hands hold onto making sure you don’t run away from him.

“I should have punched someone sooner,” Sunwoo moans, kissing the inside of your thighs and you grab onto his hair, tugging and throwing your head back into the bed. “Now that I have your attention…Let me take care of you, baby.”

“I want you,” You whine.

“You can have all of me,” Sunwoo says as he kisses your stomach, “You’ve always had me…”

You’re melting. How was he so fucking adorable and sweet, but so annoyingly hot. He kisses every inch of your body, praising you. Telling you how beautiful you are, complimenting your skin and your curves. And you’re so desperate you’re begging for him to fuck you already.

He assures you that he will, that he’ll fuck you so good… And it makes your stomach flutter, ugh why was he so..ugh.

And finally, you’re laying on your side and he’s laying up against you, his lips kissing your shoulder blades softly. He grabs your thigh lifting it as he pressed his cock to your entrance and pushes in slowly. It feels so inexplicably good, the angle has you swooning. He lowers your leg and wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tightly as he fucks into you nice and slow. And you’re going insane.

He’s taking his time and enjoys this moment.

He’s so disgustingly sweet, making sure you’re okay and kissing your neck. Laughing sweetly and confessing how much he’s enjoying this. He was such an embarrassing flirt but you were going crazy over it, loving the way he was worshipping you and taking care of you.

“You’re doing so good,” Sunwoo hums, running his hand over your hip, “So tight and wet for me…”

You’re pulsing between your thighs and all you can do is moan so pathetically, your eyes fluttering as you feel him moving inside of you. He’s so warm and comforting… It’s easy the way you seem to overflow into him. Cumming on his cock with a muffled whimper, your body trembling as he continued to move in and out of you slowly. It’s such a slow pace and you can’t believe you’ve come just from this, but every stroke is so slow, stretching you open, feeling how full you are with him inside of you. His warm body against yours, his moans in your ear. Every twitch of his cock.

Fuck.

“I’m going to cum,” Sunwoo whispers into your back. He pulls you into him as he begins to pant harder with each stroke, his voice is so raspy and low it makes your heart race.

You can feel him inside of you. The pulse of his cock and the warmth. It has you mewling, pushing yourself into him.

“I’ll lie for you any day,” Sunwoo teases, chuckling faintly.

“If my brother finds out, he’s going to kill you,” You say smugly, playing with his fingers that are still pressed into your stomach.

“It’d be worth it.”

Eric - “Anything you want I will do it for you, please just…”

[[ nsfw videos, he likes to wear cute kitty ears and be called cute in the bedroom, he talks a lot when he’s nervous, so cute and whiney ]]

You’ve always been a curious person by nature, so it comes as no surprise that you spend your free time alone watching everything and anything. It’s not surprising you’ve made an NSFW account and it’s not surprising you enjoy following random accounts and watching their porn videos. It was never really for pleasure, mostly a cure-all to your boredom. Scrolling through videos and watching a few seconds of someone getting railed before you continued on. But that was until you stumbled upon a video that captured your full attention.

He’s fisting his cock and his moans alone are enough to have you shoving your hand between your legs to touch yourself. You’ve never felt this effect before, never felt this kind of desperation over a video. But he was so alluring and sexy. He was so needy and whiney.

You let the video replay until you cum. And you pick up your phone again to look at the video just as the guy’s hand moved out of the way just enough that you see black ink on his skin that looks familiar. You sit up, clicking on his account and scrolling looking through all of his photos and videos. And there is no doubt in your mind that is Eric…

Oh fuck, he was always so annoying and loud in classes. You would have never pegged him to be this kind of a person. He was friends with a few of your friends, so there was the odd occasion where you would see him at a party or he’d join you all for karaoke. But fuck… You wanted him more than ever now.

A few days pass by and you’ve found yourself in the perfect opportunity to get him alone.

“I’ll go get more beer,” Eric chirps, jumping up from his seat the second that someone complained they were out.

You were all having a BBQ on your friend's rooftop, celebrating their new internship.

“I’ll help,” You offer, grabbing your jacket and following him downstairs.

The walk is awkward at first. Obviously, you’re thinking about how much you want to fuck him and he’s mindlessly talking about something you don’t understand. You stop.

“You okay?”

You shake your head, “Uhm... I’ve watched your videos.”

He runs his hand through his bangs, laughing nervously, “What videos?”

“The ones you posted on your blog.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” He shakes his head, “What kind of videos are you watching, y/n.”

“I know it was you,” You say, looking up at him, “I know your tattoo.”

He takes you seriously now. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and he began to stutter, rambling on and not really making sense.

Until finally, he’s stepping towards you, resting his forehead on your shoulder, “Anything you want I’ll do for you, please just…don’t tell anyone about those videos.”

“I won’t,” You shake your head, “God, no. Eric, I would never show anyone your personal videos, I just uhm...fuck, I just feel so guilty that I’ve gotten off them…”

He pulls away, his eyes washing over you with what feels like excitement, “Really? You don’t think it’s weird? Everyone always says it’s annoying and weird that I get so worked up and vocal, I just can’t help it,” He’s rambling, “I always suppress it…And I hate it…It just feels so good to–”

You fall into him… Kissing him to shut him up, your arms draped around his neck and your tongue slipping into his mouth. He wraps his arms around your waist pulling you in closer. The kiss is more intense than you could have imagined. He’s already moaning into the kiss. You pull away, kissing his jaw all the way down to his neck.

“It’s so hot,” You whisper. You place a wet open-mouthed kiss on the inside of his neck, sucking on the skin and biting playfully.

Eric moans in your ear and you feel giddy… You can’t believe this is real and not just a video on repeat, you want more. Biting hard and sucking until he’s breathless and pushing you away.

“We can’t do this here,” He pants hard. Taking a step back.

Completely neglecting the beer run, you’re both falling into his bed, fighting against your clothes and the desire to not stop kissing for longer than a few seconds.

“Did you really get off to me?” Eric asks, kissing down your chest.

“Yeah,” You pant, your nails dragging across his back, “You’re so cute…”

You panic, worrying that cute wasn’t the right term but he’s looking up at you with those beady eyes, flustered and blushing. He kisses your stomach and sits up to lean over the bed. He pulls up a black box and looks at you, almost seeking confirmation.

“What?” You question, tilting your head and sitting up.

He opens the box and pulls out a pair of black ears and you immediately coo about how cute they are. He looks at you with pure excitement and he's rambling on excitedly about how they're his favourite ears and he thought he looked cute in them too, but he's never shown, anyone. And you can't help but watch him ramble, your eyes softening at how fucking adorable he is. He puts them on his head and asks you how he looks.

“You look so cute, baby,” You say, “Wanna ride you…”

Eric is on his back. His hands are on your hips as you guide his cock to your hole and lower yourself. It feels so good, sinking down until your ass is against his thighs. Your hands against his chest as you lean forward to kiss him, you rock your hips until he’s mewling against your mouth. He's panting, trying to breathe through it. You sit up, arching your back to raise your hips easier. Fucking yourself on his cock while you listen to him moan, every second passing and you’re in heaven.

He really looks so cute with those ears on and his voice… It was such a turn-on.

You can’t help but reach between your thighs touching yourself. And he looks up at you, his eyes glossy and watching you like you’re the best things he’s ever fucking seen. His hands drag over your thighs, squeezing each time he exhales.

“You’re doing so good,” You praise, “So cute and good for me, hmm? Fuck, you’re so big…”

“So tight,” Eric coos, throwing his head back into the pillow, “Feels so good, so good, gonna c-cum.”

“Cum for me…You’re so deep.”

He’s moaning so loud, it’s so high-pitched and breathy and it’s so much hotter than the videos you had watched. You sink yourself down, dropping your weight and clenching around him. Pulling your hand from between your thighs as you let your orgasm take over. You can feel him pulsing…He’s a mess and you soak in every second, watching his eyes flutter and he pants hard.

You lay on top of him, resting your head on his sweaty chest.

“You sound so pretty,” You hum, happily.

[[ Ahhhh thank you for reading, again I'm sorry this is so long hhh I really did try to contain myself. This was both a nightmare and fun so I hope you enjoy, it's been so long since I've written so I really hope this is okay ㅠㅠ ]]

#tbz smut #sangyeon smut #younghoon smut #jacob smut #hyunjae smut #juyeon smut #kevin smut #chanhee smut #changmin smut #haknyeon smut #sunwoo smut #eric smut #x reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n

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